#am i having a small mental breakdown?
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congratulations to all those waiting on fic updates: my laptop has crashed completely because i spilled a tiny bit of tea on it. also, because it's more than four years old and there's only so much the poor thing could handle, i'm honestly kind of surprised it lasted this long D:
#anyway#until i get a new one...everything is on halt#i say this as if i have ANY control over myself#i will probably end up writing on my phone or directly on the ao3 tab lmao#life update lol#also my wrist has been hurting like a bitch#so this too is a blessing#should i just log out of tumblr?#am i having a small mental breakdown?#yes#yes i am#take care lovies <3
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Thing about small italian villages is that the didnt really have roads up until the 70's which of course leads to a massive amount of cousin marriage and inbreeding and while yes my particular own has its issues regarding that (3 major families (one of whom i am part of!!! Yay!!!) that all of the other families are related to, everyone there has bone/joint problems or some sort of schizofrenia) the neighboring one is worse as in they have one major family and the rest of the inhabitants are ppl who immigrated to have a quiet life in the mountain slopes and that by itself could be an extremely interesting study bcs everyone there kinda looks the same-ish and has a frankly insane amount of people with developmental disabilities for a population this small
#ok now that i have typed it out i realized it sounds mean and i want to earnestly say that i am not mocking them i just suck at tone#i do not think its something to be laughed at i just think the whole thing is uh. i wouldnt say tragic but really no one's fault#bcs again. if you live in the mountains where the main city is hard to reach bcs of poor road conditions#which leads to isolation and also extreme stigma against the village folk *of course* the village#will become more secluded and incestuous marriages will happen (aside from the obv economical factor#that a pre industrial reality would entrail)#its just. fascinating on a sociological and genetical level. esp since by when the roads were functional#and the village folk stigma had already gone away the whole 'we stay here we stay together we are better than anyone bcs they are envious#of us and we will continue inbreeding and any kids with severe disabilities born from it are actually Blessed because they are born from us#has already taken so much root it is now unlikely to be eradicated . the nature of italian villages is that every once in a while#someone reinvents blood purity and eugenetics lmao#anyways this whole incest thing is also the reason why i get frustrated about those books that have#the main characters go into small bigoted villages and either finding peace there or be horrified by its conservatives ideas#while never digging on the *why*. like yeah all this 'what happens in the village stays in the village and everyone else is an enemy'#but they never dig into why that mentality was born to begin with and how incest there#actively helps this mentality to continue on like you legit still have grandmas telling you to marry ur cousin#anw. i dont know what i was going for w this rant. it originated from knowing that my aunt turned local saint#was actually schizophrenic and was prone to paranoid attacks and mental breakdowns similar to mine#fun stuff!
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Hello hello!!
sorry for the inactivity around here, the last month has been a hell of a ride
about 2 days ago i finally had my final presentation for our big group project that we worked the whole semester on (and that we've had plenty of issues with)
after 2 weeks of 18+ hours/day spent at uni working for the project + a couple of all nighters i can finally say we're done and through and have passed and never have to deal with that ever again
in other words, i'll be more active around here; though exam season just starts for me (eugh), things are gonna be more chill now that i'm finally done with that monster-project :))
anyways hope y'all are having a great day, take care of yourselves and don't forget to rest!!!
#also today we just received the grades and i can't be more happy than i am holy shit#like don't get me wrong the grades are decent like not extraordinary#but honestly i don't care i'm just happy we passed#cause at one point i was thinking we weren't going to make it#these 2 weeks have been mentally a lot to deal with#there hasn't been a day where i haven't cried or had a small mental breakdown#i'm glad i don't have to go trough that again#and that i can finally draw!!!! for myself!!!! my stuff!!!!!! i missed that#anyways going to take it a little slower a while#my body needs to regenerate :))#Ghost rambles
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Maybe I should go back to seeing my therapist, he was a good person, à l'écoute, but maybe I should explain why I stopped seeing him (on top of work load becoming unbearable).
Same with my psychiatrist though I think it'll be harder to see her because of the summer.
#I'm feeling so out of it#I have the worst support system for the terrible mental breakdown I've been having the last few weeks#I only have one friend talking to me and I am just working at my part time job and trying to do school work and work for 2 because one of#them won't work and my family is...well. I thought I could have my mum supporting me but she just can't seem to read the room#but I don't want to become bitter even though I already am. I want to be better but my mind is sinking and maybe I'm as bad as my ex friend#said I was. Maybe I am as much a bad person as my brother says I am. Maybe I'm in denial#I've stopped taking medication for a few months now and it's all slipped back in my mind and I can't rest. I'm always tired or on speed#I feel dull and isolated#I haven't had any physical contact with anyone in weeks (not a hug or a handshake) I feel a little bit alienated#it makes me want to disappear again and go far far away#I don't know what the issue even is. I don't know what mental illness I have. I thought it was bpd but what if it isn't#I just want to be normal. I want to be normal and happy. Rational level-headed not anxious paranoid and exhausted like I am#I want to cry to open the dam of emotions in my brain but it feels like a small tear in highly pressurized tank that's going to do more#damage and no good
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trial workday in 2 days I am yelling!!!!!!!! <333
#its ridiculous how excited i am lmao#just goes to show how much i have grown since my covid mental breakdown self doubt days#i felt so small and stupid and incapable back then lol#but now i feel a little more confident and enlightened? and like i can do stuff if i put my mind to it?#mostly just more mental capacity to tackle life's challenges lol
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nothing like calling in sick to one job so you can catch up on paperwork to try not to get in trouble with your other job 🤪
#i am suffering#tbf i actually do not feel well but i would usually tough it out#if there is one thing i hate about outpatient peds its all the take home doc. im too burnt out on having homework i just cant do it anymore#i get home and i just need to rot. and i cant do it at work either theres no time between or theyre trying to close up the building after#and my perfectionism makes everything take 10x longer than it should bc theres a small mental breakdown for every note i do
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Ignore
#delete later#as awful as the past couple of weeks have been in terms of intrusive thoughts and random waves of panic and intense emotions and#blankness. there have also been random patches that have been. okay. and that is how i know my medication is working#bc the times ive been like this and not medicated? there has been no reprieve#like although i feel. awful and useless and am internalising my work failures in a non helpful way that im trying to fight#i am having moments of#hey we're okay. they raised an issue in a way that was gentle bc youre a good employee usually. and honestly although you#feel terrible for fucking up. someone you care about very much died a month ago. you have been experiencing a mental health#almost crisis (i refuse to call it a full crisis bc im not self destructing really badly) and quite frankly the fact that you're functioning#at all is. pretty decent. youre trying. i am of course having moments where im convinced that they hate me and want to fire me immediately#but that has no evidence. and the fact that i know it has no evidence is a pretty insane piece of progress#shout out to my therapist from two courses ago who drilled the moral shit into my head.#she genuinly helped me a lot with this.#also was really really hoping for the usual christmas bonus this year bc my finances are tighter than usual but the company had a#lean year so no bonuses for anyone. so dont have the leeway to try out sliding scale therapy for a while. but it is what it is.#this will pass. its just been a rough four months and i havent had a break. ive also been waiting fir thr other shoe to drop at work#and it finally has so i can at least stop torturing myself over maybes. im getting my meds. i can refer myself to nhs depression#therapy. which will be mostly useless and the same as it always is but it tends to help me feel like im trying to progress which is still#helpful in some small way. it will be what it will be. one day at a time and all that jazz#this is also how these things go for me. i lose it slowly over a month or so. have a horrific couple weeks until a day of a genuine#full breakdown. i survive that day and the day after and then slowly start clawing myself up again. ive just had a few breakdown#days this time. what can ya do. is what it is. im sure I'll have another breakdown soon as i can tell im not done crying#and will almost certainly have a breakdown at my parents bc i am not good at hiding the dead eyed look and mum will#definitely clock im being weirder than usual with food and touching things. so there'll be a#anyway nevermind. ill do what i must
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oh i need to KILL MYSELF kill myself huh
#liveblogging my mental breakdown on tumblr dot com#i can already tell tonight is gonna be awful#i mean. it already is#i just don't know if i can fall asleep. and i need to wake up in less than 7 hours#took 2 pills i probably shouldn't mix together and if this keeps up i might add a third#but that third one is gonna make tomorrow even worse bc it always makes me wake up groggy as fuck#i think if i reach 3 am and still can't sleep i'll let my supervisors(?) know i won't come tomorrow#not like i have much to do anyway. just gonna have to show up for 4 hours of nothing. 4 times this week#(that's actually one of the reasons i'm distressed and why i came to a boiling point over smth small now. probably.)#anyway. i hope i just die tonight and that's it. it won't happen but i hope it does i really do. manifesting so hard rn#maybe this disease my tests show i might have will kick in exactly tonight. save a lot of time and effort i think#i can tell at least one of the pills already kicked in but ngl it's not helping much i think i'm just starting to dissociate tbh.#suicide //#negative //#vent#ask to tag
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it's genuinely so difficult to know if i'm going overboard/'giving in' in regards to my Fears bc some things are like. i feel like they're legitimate precautions... like im going to send a bug in to get identified because i don't know how get rid of the bug if i dont know what the fuck it is and im getting weird looks for it. is that not a reasonable thing to do if i can't figure out what the fuck the bug is from the internet?? is this not the logical next step???
#it's actually surprisingly cheap too although i am almost completely broke LMAO#it's fine i still live at home because im currently having a breakdown#but i do think knowing what the fuck the bug is will HELP#it's not the og bug problem btw. this is a separate bug problem of extremely small bugs that my mom was convinced i hallucinated bc she's#finally accepted that my mental illness is bad but is evidently confused on which ones i have and therefore gave me all of them#this isnt a mom diss i love her so much but i do think it's funny#but on the topic of the giving in thing... i feel like so much of what i do is reasonable but everyone looks at me like i grew a third eye#MAN.#bug saga
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when you call them your husband | ot13
❥ seungcheol
goes through five stages of a mental breakdown, because what did you just call him??? if you ever called him your husband in front of people, cheol would turn into a stuttering mess with cheeks as red as a tomato. if you did it when you were by yourselves he’d start whining like a bitch, getting shy as hell, because why are you messing with his heart like that? on rare days, though, he’d embrace the husband figure and start calling you “wife” and make you shy
❥ jeonghan
so smug - no one would be able to wipe that studpid ass smirk off of his face. it does mess with him a bit, though, because come on - calling him your husband??? but he’d try his best to act unaffected, because it’s jeonghan, and he needs to be cool :))) (i’m going to repeat this so many times throughout this headcanon, but all of them would start to freak out a bit thinking about a day when this won’t be a joke anymore, hannie included)
❥ joshua
is he really surprised when you call him your husband? not really. he knows he’s a husband material, and you often make jokes about him being your husband anyways. that doesn’t mean he isn’t freaking about it on the inside, though, because no matter how many times you call him that as a silly little joke, it still makes him so incredibly happy that one day, he’ll really be your husband, and you won’t be calling him that as a joke anymore
❥ jun
one of the “turns into a shy, blushy, and a stuttering mess” squad. he’d malfunction at first, point at himself, and melt into a puddle of fluff, and love. one - how dare you call him your literal husband as a joke??? second - give him all the kisses, and hugs, because his first instincts is to run away, and break out in tears from all the love. he doesn’t really know what to do with himself after you say that word, but you can be sure it’ll be in his head for the rest of the day
❥ hoshi
soonyoung would be confused for a second, because “wait, are you talking about me?” and when he’d finally understand that, yes - you were talking about him (because who else would you be talking about), he’d get so smiley and giggly and shy, and just turn into the cutest bean. he’d immediately cling to you, wrapping his arms around you and trapping you in a warm hug, giggling like a maniac
❥ wonwoo
cue shy wonwoo with his lil cat smile. he can’t help the butterflies fluttering in his tummy, and as much as he’d want to tease you for calling him your husband, he’d be too shy to actually do it. you calling him that would make him so happy for some reason, even though he knows that you mainly do it as a prank or a joke to mess with him. don’t do it in front of people, though, or he’ll run away
❥ woozi
“anything for you, baby.” woozi always indulges in all of your silly antics and jokes, and this time it’d be no different. he’d try to act as unaffected as he could, but his acting skills are not always the best, so you’d still be able to catch a glimpse of a small smile and blushy cheeks. he isn't the type to think about marriage, kids, and your domestic future together, he prefers to focus on what you have now, but hearing that word coming from you, would make his heart flutter a bit faster
❥ dk
“yes, i am.” smiles cutely at you, and gives you a bone crushing hug, while freaking the fuck out on the inside. he won’t comment on it too much in the moment, but the way he’d be extra clingy throughout the day, giving you ten times more kisses, and hugs, and pouts, and any physical affection. the thought of becoming your husband some day is so??? because it will happen someday, and that’s kind of crazy
❥ mingyu
cue mingoo giggles, because that man would not be able to behave himself after hearing the word husband from you. will whine, smile, laugh, hug you, pick you up and spin you around like a lovesick teenager, and when he finally calms down, he’d give you the biggest smooch. even though you had marriage talks plenty of times before - you both knew you’d get married some time in the feature, hearing it from you - saying it so casually, messed with his heart so much
❥ minghao
as someone who has mentioned a couple of times before that he wants to get married, hearing the word “husband” coming from you would make him so so happy and giddy, to the point where he’d just stand there with a lovesick smile on his face, and the urge to hug and kiss the life out of you (he wouldn’t though, he has to keep his composure) (but don’t worry, he’d kiss your forehead and tell you how much he loves you) (all with an adorable blush covering his cheeks)
❥ seungkwan
turns into a shy and blushy mess. seungkwan’s first instinct is to hide his face in his hands or your neck, so you wouldn’t see the effect that the word had on him (even though you could clearly see how it affected him). then he’d probably proceed to yell at you (lovingly) for making such mean jokes (he wants to be your husband now, boyfriend is not enough)
❥ vernon
at first he would think that he had misheard you, so you’d have to repeat the word two or three more times, because why would you ever call him your husband? and when you’d clarify that, yes - you did say the word “husband”, and yes - it was directed to him, vernon would just stare at you with big eyes but no thoughts. you’d laugh at him immediately, because the lack of his reaction was even funnier than if he’d react. then he’d say “thank you” and proceed with the rest of his day with the word “husband” floating around his head
❥ chan
leechan.exe has stopped working. looks at you with the biggest puppy eyes, pointing at himself, as if he was asking if you were really talking about him. it’s so crazy to him that you’d call him that even as a joke, because hearing the word “husband” coming from you is??? hello??? and the fact that someday he’ll really be your husband??? you can expect chan to be a bit more clingy than he usually is (a bit more pouty too, because what do you mean you called him that as a joke?)
taglist (if you want to be added, check my masterlist): @jeonghansshitester @soul-is-a-strange-kid @weird-bookworm @sea-moon-star @hanniehaee @wonwooz1 @byprettymar @edgaralienpoe @staranghae @itza-meee @eightlightstar @immabecreepin @whatsgyud @hyneyedfiz @honestlydopetree @vicehectic @dkswife @uniq-tastic @marisblogg @aaniag @daegutowns @carlesscat-thinklogic23 @embrace-themagic @ohmyhuenings @nidda13 @hrts4hanniehae @k-drama-adict @isabellah29 @f4iryjjosh @bangantokchy @mrswonwooo @bangtancultsposts @lllucere @athanasiasakura @chillseo @onlyyjeonghan @haecien @caramyisabitchforsvtandbts @hannahhbahng @valgracia @ohmygodwhyareallusernamestaken @mirxzii @hhusbuds @wonranghaeee @rosiesauriostuff @gyuguys @aaasia111 @tomodachiii @veryfabday @lilmochiandsuga @asasilentreader @mrsnervous @bewoyewo @sharonxdevi @wondipity @gyuguys @raginghellfire @treehouse-mouse @waldau
#seventeen#seventeen imagines#seventeen x you#seventeen x reader#seventeen reactions#svt reactions#seventeen kpop#seventeen fluff#svt fluff#seventeen carat#seventeen reaction#seventeen requests#seungcheol#jeonghan#joshua#woozi#wen junhui#wonwoo#vernon#svt#seungkwan#dino#svt woozi#mingyu#minghao#hoshi#chwe vernon
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Tim walking into the dining room: Oh B, i just realized, happy 5 years sober, I am really proud of you.
Bruce, small smile and sipping his tea: Thank you Tim.
Dick, looking up confused from his bowl of cereal: What? Sober? Weren't you drinking last night at the gala?
Bruce, brows furrowed: Not from alcohol, Chum.
Tim, after downing his cup of coffee: Damn you didn't know? It was cocain. B was on that booger sugar.
Bruce, making a face: Please, never call it that again.
Dick, after his brain rebooted: You...you did cocain?
Bruce sighing :Yes I did...I though you knew.
Dick, abandoning his bowl of cereal: No, no I very much didn't! How did you...like get into that?
Tim: Dick take it down a notch, please? Bruce has been clean for years.
Bruce, shaking his head: It's fine Tim, I should have been more up front with this to the others.
Dick, with his head tilted and still a bit upset: Others? You mean only Tim knew?
Bruce, nodding: He caught me taking a key from one of Penguins supply when he was Robin and forced me to confess, I went to rehab a week later.
Dick, sitting back down in a stupor: Wait...You mean the thing when you were gone for like a few months? I thought you were on a deep space mission with the league! Hell, Uncle Clark even said so!
Bruce, wincing: Y-Yes...I was in a treatment center in Sweden...Tim found them and signed me up without telling me, and had Clark take me there...
Bruce side eyeing Tim: Took my Kryptonite before doing so...and my stash.
Tim, unapologetic, shrugging: Mom used the same place when she was getting off of Quaaludes.
Bruce, shrunching his nose: Never did like downers, made it harder to think.
Dick, having a mental breakdown: So you just...did drugs? For like a while? When did this even start?
Bruce, silent for a while, moving his breakfast around for a moment: It started when I was about...16? When I was in the club scene for a bit I got wild, taking pills and such that I didn't need, it was the 80s, blow was all the rage with the youth in higher circles and...well one thing lead to another and I got hooked.
Dick, holding his head in his hands: Oh my God...Wait.. Were you actively doing drugs when you adopted me???
Bruce, groaning: Yes...Didn't it ever seem strange that sometimes I was very lively and then suddenly was practically dead an hour later before getting back to lively?
Dick, horror coming across his face: Oh my God the signs...
Tim, chuckling: B was a God damn drug fiend, practically snorted half of Columbia.
Bruce, looking scandalized: Tim! I was not that bad...
Tim staring at Bruce:
Bruce staring back:
Bruce, sighing: Fine yes it was that bad.
Dick: uninhorant screeching
Bruce, tsking: I quit a few years after taking you in Chum, I only relapsed when Jason...temporarily passed...and that was only for at most a year, Tim found me out, sent me to rehab and while I have had a few scares, I have been sober for years.
Dick: Happy for you, really but holy fuck.
Tim, snorting: It wasn't the first time I caught you B, imagine little old 10 year old me following Batman and Robin and stumbling across the Dark Knight of Gotham doing a line on a gargoyle while Robin beat the shit out of the dealers below.
Dick, agape: Really Bruce? Do you even remember that?
Bruce, Blushing: i...may have done that more than once...
Dick, crying on the inside: BRUCE?!
Jason, walking in with a smoothie: Oh what are we yelling at B for? I want in.
Dick, wildly pointing at Bruce: BATMAN DID COCAIN.
Jason, slowly taking a drag from his smoothie, before turning to Bruce: w h a t?
Bruce, hiding his face in his hands, sullenly: I trained you all better than this. Yes I did drugs, I am 5 years sober.
Jason, softly putting his smoothie down before walking over to Bruce and patting his shoulder: Proud of you for that, like actually good job, holy shit that is hard. But also WHAT THE FUCK.
Bruce, sighing hard: I thought you all knew...
Jason flopping down in a chair, counting on his fingers: Wait a God damn minute, you got on my case for smoking while doing cocain!
Bruce, dead panned: it's a gate way to much harder things.
Jason, squinting: Who are you D.A.R.E?
Tim, cackling: he was! Did a whole speech about it! Full Batman regalia and was talking about how weed is bad!
Bruce glaring lightly at Tim: It is! It can cause lung damage, a build up of black tar in the lungs and can dull your mind when you are in a tike of crisis!
Jason, rolling his eyes: B, Shut the fuck up you did cocain.
Bruce, sighing yet again: You really are not letting that go are you...
Tim, sipping his coffee: Think of it like this, there is a reason B was able to get back to fighting like a week after Bane broke his back.
Bruce, pursing his lips,: Not the time Tim.
Tim, grinning evilly: Oh no, it is very much the time, I have been waiting till the others knew...I have so many blackmail stories....and pictures
Bruce, a look of true fear on his face: Oh God no...
#batfam#batman#jason todd#tim drake#bruce wayne#dick grayson#bruce did so many drugs#out of character.#so fucking ooc#cocain batman is my pride and joy#that man needed to be high as balls to do the shit he does#also thr imagine of Bruce just doing a line ofg a gargoyle is hilarious to me#bruce was a wild child during the 80s#he did at least a little drugs#he and harvey once ate shrooms and had a whole trip thinking they were jellyfish#coke fiend batman can sniff the air and know what the criminals were cooking
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I'M BACK AGAIN!! And this time I was wondering if you could take me in cause:
☃️ baby it's cold outside: "so, how much longer do you plan on using me as your personal space heater?" with Remus?
AGAIN CONGRATS ON 5K!! ε(´。•᎑•`)っ 💕
thanks for your patience, and thanks for celebrating with me Ivy! hope I did this justice <3
Remus Lupin x animagus!reader who only sees him as a warm jumper [789 words]
CW: fem!reader, end of term mental breakdown, friend's being cheeky, fluff
It was one of those incredibly unusual evenings where the boys’ dormitory was full yet quiet.
Sirius was lying upside down on his bed; long hair trailing off the foot of the bed where he hung his head as it bobbed to the music playing in his headphones that Remus had gotten him for his birthday.
Peter looked to be about 12 minutes away from bursting into tears as he sifted through his Herbology text in a last ditch attempt at boosting his grade in that class.
James was currently laying on his stomach as he watched the Marauders Map, waiting for Lily to finish her prefect rounds so that they could sneak off to the headboy and head girl’s common room.
And Remus? Well, Remus was sitting up against the headboard of his bed with a book in his hands. Or at least that’s what he appeared to be doing.
What he was actually doing was waiting for you.
And sure enough, approximately 37 seconds before Peter would have burst into frustrated tears, the dormitory door that had been left cracked open was nudged open further by an entity that none of the boys could see from their current positions, but the tell-tale brrpp gave away your arrival.
Remus was smiling before he felt a small body land on the foot of his bed, prompting him to move the book out of his line of sight so he could see the small, calico cat kneading biscuits into the throw as you slow-blinked at him.
“Hello, dove.”
“Would you two stop being so sickeningly sweet?” Sirius scowled at him as he lifted one of the speakers from his ear. “Show some respect; Pete’s on the brink of a mental breakdown.”
“If they wait for Pete’s mental stability to be affectionate, they may be waiting until next term.” James offered without looking up from the map.
“Don’t worry about m-me, Moony.” Peter snuffled through a hiccup before the curtains surrounding his four poster bed shut, a silencing charm being thrown up moments before the Marauder’s knew a sob spilled out of him.
As bad as Remus felt for his friend, he was glad you didn’t seem too worried about Pete, quickly shoving your head under the hem of his jumper and eliciting a disbelieving laugh from Remus.
“I should’ve known, you little minx.” He chided as you slithered your lithe feline body under the fabric before poking your nose out of the neck hole. “I’m nothing but a warm jumper to you, am I?”
You responded by purring rather loudly and kneading the fabric of the shirt separating you from his bare chest. He was happy for that barrier when your claws caught on the stitching.
“Some would be honoured to be her warm jumper, Moons.” James scolded playfully, offering your feline form a smirk and a wink when you poked your head out to blink at him thankfully.
“I’m sure you would, Prongs.” Remus chuckled. “Come on, how much longer do you plan on using me as your personal space heater?”
“Wait, we can do that?” Sirius asked quickly, sitting himself upright to look at Remus eagerly. Remus responded by closing the curtains of his own four poster bed.
“Come’on, dovey. What if I wanted to cuddle with my girlfriend?” He pouted.
And Remus Lupin was sure he'd never felt more dumb than he had at that moment; hadn’t he ever learned to let sleeping cats lie?
Opting to give Remus probably exactly what he’d asked for but certainly not what he wanted, your feline form stretched back into your human one; a cheshire cat smile on your face that was merely centimetres from his own as your neck was still protruding the neck hole of his jumper.
“Merline, dove. No.”
“What?” You asked innocently. “Didn’t you want to cuddle with your girlfriend?”
“I wanted to cuddle with my girlfriend, not be smothered by her.”
“I don’t know, Moons.” You murmured, narrowing your eyes at him playfully. “I’m getting mixed signals here.”
“You’re stretching the neckhole out!”
“Right, and what do you suggest, Remus? That I vacate your jumper?” You scoffed as if that was the most ridiculous thing you’d ever heard. “Come now; you know you’re nothing but a warm jumper to me.”
“For Godric’s sake, fine. Fine. Shit, you’re a nuisance.” He conceded, though you seemed to know it was all good natured by the smile on his face.
“Thanks Moons.” You cheered before pressing a hard kiss to his lips and then melting back into your cat form.
Remus settled back comfortably into his bed, relishing the warmth of the tiny space heater you created on his chest and the rumbling purrs your happy form emanated.
He was sure that if he was a cat, he’d be purring too.
#elle's cold#marauders era#marauders au#marauders fanfiction#reader insert#self insert#remus lupin#remus lupin x reader#remus lupin x you#marauders#the marauders#mauraders#remus lupin drabble#remus lupin blurb#remus lupin imagine#remus lupin fic#remus lupin ficlet#remus lupin fluff#fem!reader#ellecdc fics
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#WIP : The Nanny Diaries | J.WY
「pairing」 : wooyoung x fem!reader 「word count」 : TBD
「synopsis」 : after being let off yet another part-time job, you were sent into a panic as your mother's hospital bills started to pile up. you had no help from your family, seeing as they saw you and your mother as insignificant, so you and your mother only had yourselves to rely on. seeing your desperation, your best friend tells you about a nanny position for a well-known CEO, and you are quick to apply. however, you had not expected the world of chaos you had just thrown yourself into or how you would fall for the little girl's dad so quick.
「genre」 : romance, fluff, angst, small amount of crack, drama, smut, age gap, ceo!wooyoung, dilf!wooyoung, nanny!reader
「warnings」 : MINORS DO NOT INTERACT!!!, cussing, readers mom has cancer, familial trauma, mental breakdowns, arguments, mentions of death, death, grief, wooyoung is both a tease and mildly closed off, age gap (8 years), reader is depicted to be twenty-two, bullying, violence, betrayal, multiple unprotected sex scenes, dilf wooyoung (yes this deserves its own warning), sir kink, kissing, blackmailing, child endangerment, (will add more as I write)
「also starring」 : choi san as wooyoung's best friend who also runs a well known company, giselle and natty as your childhood best friends, kang yeosang as wooyoung's childhood friend who teaches yoonha's class, huh yunjin as the girl who is concerningly obsessed with wooyoung and also a huge pain in your ass.
「notes」 : hello everyone!! I have had this idea in my head for a LONG time now and as I was working on the outline I realized that this wasn't going to be a smaller fic - so I have decided that I am going to make a wip post for the reason that it's going to be pretty long and has a lot of plot to it. I hope everyone will enjoy this as much as I enjoyed and will enjoy writing it, thank you all!! <3
spoilers ➻ one | two | three
「release date」 : TBD
「current word count」 : 13.4k
「taglist」 : OPEN
➻ please send an ask or reply to this post if you would like to be added to the taglist after this fic is finished. 18+ ONLY, you must have your age visible on your blog. any blank blogs and MINORS will NOT be added!!! also, if you are on my perm. taglist, you will automatically be added to the taglist, so you do NOT have to ask to be added!! <33
also please double-check your blog settings!! with certain settings, I will NOT be able to tag you, so please make sure you check that before asking to be added!
additionally, I will be ignoring and deleting any comments and/or asks from blank and/or ageless blogs asking to be added to the taglist!
@wwooyology | Do not steal, plagiarise, translate, or repost any of my work
𝖉𝖎𝖘𝖈𝖑𝖆𝖎𝖒𝖊𝖗 : ᴛʜɪꜱ ɪꜱ ɴᴏ ᴡᴀʏ ᴀ ᴛʀᴜᴇ ʀᴇᴘʀᴇꜱᴇɴᴛᴀᴛɪᴏɴ ᴏꜰ ᴀɴʏ ᴏꜰ ᴛʜᴇ ᴍᴇᴍʙᴇʀꜱ. ᴛʜɪꜱ ɪꜱ ᴘᴜʀᴇʟʏ ꜰɪᴄᴛɪᴏɴ ᴀɴᴅ ꜰᴏʀ ᴛʜᴇ ᴇɴᴊᴏʏᴍᴇɴᴛ ᴏꜰ ᴛʜᴇ ʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ ᴀɴᴅ ɴᴏᴛ ᴛᴏ ʙᴇ ᴛᴀᴋᴇɴ ꜱᴇʀɪᴏᴜꜱʟʏ.
#𖤓─ 𝐖𝐈𝐏𝐒 ─𖤓#wooyoung#jung wooyoung#ateez#atz#wooyoung x reader#jung wooyoung x reader#ateez x reader#atz x reader#wooyoung fluff#wooyoung smut#wooyoung angst#wooyoung fanfic#jung wooyoung fluff#jung wooyoung smut#jung wooyoung angst#ateez fluff#ateez smut#ateez angst#kpop#kpop smut#kpop fluff#kpop angst#ateez fanfic#atz fanfic#wooyoung fanfiction#wooyoung wip#wooyoung imagines#ateez imagines#atz imagines
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LoserXLover | 희승 헨.하.이.픈. (⇀‸↼‶)ᕗ💨
Paring: Loser!seung X M!reader
Genre: Smut Synopsis: Being such a brat he is, you decided to punish your boyfriend in a very edgy way. Cw: pure smut, cum undone, edging, freaky af, cursing, dirty talk.
English is not my 1st | This is a work of fanfiction, do not throw unnecessary tantrums on this nsfw/sfw blog. ©Shuenkio
A$N: from an anon request! This is probably my last update this month since next month who knows I'd be busy but I won't accept any requests sooner. Btw 'but' using alot here, ignore it 🥲 I'm having a mental breakdowns trying to make it perfect I'm suck still at writing smau.
Finished schedule for today's promotion is a relief that everything went smoothly yet there's something that has bothered you lately which you have bottled up for sometimes now. Despite being a sub-leader in the big group full of older boys at a young age, it is half bad and half good. The good parts were already doing great the nice ones while the bad part is they're grown boys.
You'd question your own self that it is worth it? In a frustrated good way of course. Not only are all of them a ball of chaotic energy but they're also clingy, teasing, if they'll tease you, all you need was a punching bag sand to Express your annoying. However it gets used to it till it becomes a habit and sort of like everyday shit. And that's not the case for nowadays. Heeseung the oldest hyung is getting on your nerves lately.
One was he accidentally made a small mistake during the finish part today on stage yeah that's forgiven but still driving you nuts as a perfectionist you are. Two, at the dorm, Heeseung would leave his ramen bowl without washing, dishes soaked in the sink for days unless you point it out. It's one of the hell rides having the same floor and dorm with him.
Not to mention Ni-ki says nothing about this as if he is not in the same dorm. Three, the gamer boy is getting out of hand. The nagging, the yelling, the reminding is just an air that went from one ear to another gosh how difficult can he become more. He's not a damn teenager but a 23 year old guy. Did he do all of these on purpose or is it just so unbelievable that you thought this was some kind of joke? Only god knows.
By doing all of the voices won't make him flinch anymore you'd have to come with some other punishment to make him won't repeat all of the childish behavior anymore that could leave him a bit traumatized, for some time in a very good~ way. What if he might love the idea more? Only to find out. Burst in his personal room, leaning against the door way as you are staring at the lazy guy who is on the bed, scrolling on his phone as if he didn't have a busy schedule the next day. Closing the door behind, as you make you way closer before sitting on the edge of his bed.
"Heeseung hyung? We need to talk!" Murmur in a serious tone yet so calmly, request for talking. But in return he just hums in response, rooting to the core as if his body is stuck on the bed which makes you have to control yourself from being violence.
"please sit up, before I change my mind" is another demand yet this time he did as he was told. Sitting up, resting his head on the headboard.
"yes? M/n What do you want to talk about?"
"about your behavior, not to be disrespectful but this is not how I wanted you to act hyung!, you're 23 not a toddler" You claim, explain in as calm a way as possible. However, it seems like it won't work on him ever.
"I am the way I am m/n what are you... Talking about? I know I'm the oldest but I don't act like a child you say, don't just come up like that" Heeseung response, his tone is slightly offensive to your words but that makes him look even more stubborn. How can he even let those slip out. Anger boil almost explodes, trying to maintain your compose while explaining how many things about him that bother you a lot as a sub/co leader that left Heeseung dumbfounded.
But that won't last long when he just ignores the fact, carry on acting like a brat once you finish talking. This is getting out of hand, you force yourself to give him one last chance before a disaster would occur.
"what are you gonna do about me then? I'll like how I am right now, leave my room you're such a headache for me m/n, hyung need alone time" Scoff is all what left your sweet mouth, this is so irritated it's like telling a siblings to go bed time but they denying. What's more irritated? The fact he was your loser boyfriend makes it worse. Heeseung turned away and sat on his desk, opening his computer to play some games. Would you let that happen? Not this time. Stroking away your hair in boil pointed before locking the door tight, making your way to your boyfriend.
This might be the first time you've had to punish your brat lover. Seeing the sock scatter on the floor, you come up with an idea, if you can't punish him emotionally, how about physically? Smirking, like the idea so much. Before Heeseung could wear his headphones on, his gamer chair turned around by your grips. Slightly starlet the next thing he knows, both of his hands are tied up by his own socks. A very lovely sight to see such submissiveness. Yelping, confused running through his head to your new side, he can't help but to be afraid one bit, asked.
"m/n?? What are you doing? Untied me now, this is not funny.." speak in a shaky voice, as he sees your unusual attitude. Meanwhile deep down inside of him, he knows what's going to come for him. Somehow he liked it? Or he just pretends to drive you nuts so he could get this attention of yours?
"You're never gonna like it, and I won't stop until you reflect your own shitty behavior, hyung!" Waste no more time, your body lean close to him as your naughty finger sneaking on his crotch. Fiddle on his pants, around in a circling, teasing to make it rocket hard as you planning to make him so hard, so dry until he begged oh wait, why don't you make him edge? Those feelings are the worst haha.Heeseung squirmed under your touch, in a trembling breath. he was expecting this but This just feels so different, the idea of you would stroking him only to make his soft dick hurt from the tight fabric. And the fact he didn't stop you makes sense that he was waiting for this. Biting on his lower lip he stays quiet, silently enjoying your touch on his meat. He wanted to please you so badly, to make you touch him even more than this, not only to play but to make use of it.
Realized Heeseung is actually enjoying this, making you angry even more, he can't enjoy this, you need to make it hard for him to ever even feel good. In another one swift move, you unzip his pant, let it spring free out a twitching, huge hard throbbing dick that is leaking already. Such a good start,a clean cut tip free is so arousing to look at, and abuse it.
"p- please i... It kinda hurts you have to finish it m/n, y.. you're the one who started this" pleasing, his hand are tied up, it reasonable that he wanted you to finished it up as he leaking so much already ehh those transparent sticky stuff on his head.
"No, let me hear something else. Where is the brat gone hmm? I don't see any"
"but—m/n I'm not in the wrong, I'm just being myself everyday like how my routine, what do you expect from me?" He fired back, getting real pain in the ass . How brave he is to spit those out. Snort out loudly that click heeseung in the head that, he did it for himself just now, he'll be in big trouble.
"you're getting brave for real now hyung I think I might pee myself from it, but I think hmm oh well, you seriously push my buttons" Before hee can react, you hand wrapped on his shaft tightly, stroking him so fast that makes his head spinning to the weirdly speed pace. He moaned shamelessly, filled in the small space with his vocal like he was on the edge to see heaven. His stretchy hairy balls jiggle each movement you jerk him off , making a raw plopping sound mixed with pain and pleasure without liquid. Your bf's chest becomes more hitching and breathless, he wanted to scream so bad in high pitch but he couldn't, afraid the other who was in the same dorm might hear.
He knows and you know he can't do anything but to beg for your mercy. Instead It's the opposite of what you expected, you thought you'd hear him begging, whining, for mercy to stop but he was actually asking for more, and he really wanted to release it off, so impatiently. Knowing his weak spot, what are you waiting for? Masturbating his dick harder, in another brutal speed that left his eye nothing but a white eyes ball. His brain malfunctioned, feeling senseless at the moment. A few more strokes later, Heeseung started to feel jolted as his body signal he'd cum at anytime unpredicted soon.
"H- holy motherfucking shit m/n— I...I'm about to cum please... please I wanted to cum c...can I?" Hearing him beg for mercy and being so submissive for the first time make your body goosebumps, thrilling wash over as you actually found him adorable in this state or did they call that a... Kink? A new discovery kink? No way, you need to see more of this. You want more whimpers from him, making him beg, and submissive ugh so fucking turn on.
Enough with the thinking, his body soon shaking in a sign of soon to explode and your plan was to edge him off, what would he react to if you did it? Isn't it going to be fun??
"Ah...ohh... Fuck m/n I'm cumming I'm cumming I'm CUMIN— NO" he yelled it out, to be come undone but before he can cum you quickly pull your hand away for a good seconds which make him going nut on the spot, finally his body shattered undone in a half satisfied, splashing all his hot sperms on his own sweatpants. His body odor perfume all over the room, the scent of his cum, smells like cow milk, that's crazy. And Nor did he be mad or sad, his expression is clearly he's not satisfied with your action. However at least he did cum.
"why... Why did you do that? For what for??M/N?"
"This is your first punishment, you should remember this from now on. If you continue to act so stubborn again, I bet there's more evil punishment for my loser boyfriend and not just edging you— do you get it?hm?"
"y...yes my.. love I'll be a good boy.. and your good boyfriend I...I'm sorry I'll be better" he was scared ...
"that's what I love about you— very demure very lovely very good boy"
#enhypen#enha x male reader#enhypen x male reader#heeseung x reader#heeseung smut#heeseung#lee heesung x reader#lee heesung smut#lee heeseung#enhypen hard thoughts#enhypen heeseung#enhypen hard hours#enha smau#enha smut#enha heeseung#enha imagines#enha x you#enha fluff#enhypen scenarios#kpop x male reader#enha x reader#enha scenarios#enha fanfic#enhypen fanfiction#heesung enhypen
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kinktober #4
Light My Fire
kinktober day four | temperature play & monsterfucking (?) | cw: 18+, self-explanatory. Good!Loki is a Jötun and Avenger!You have fire powers. Rather fluffy, just two dorks in love goofin' | word count 2k | click here for full list of planned fics | author's note under the cut |
“Darling, are you sure this is a good idea?”
“You are occasionally a little over 8 feet tall and very cold and blue. I am average tall but set myself on fire regularly without repercussions. I think we passed these sorts of questions a good while ago.” You pointedly bit into your toast, watching Loki watching you over the rim of his teacup.
Why did he insist on having tea from one specific antique tea set - and having to refill the cup at least five times in the process - instead of getting a mug like a normal person, you did not know.
Slumped over your breakfast in your Garfield pajamas, you eyed your boyfriend pat the corner of his mouth with his monogrammed kerchief before he vanished it away and stood up. His green button-up clung to his chest deliciously.
“Such a way with words.” Loki chuckled and patted over to place a soft kiss on your forehead. “But I see your point. We could either seriously harm each other or end up having a wonderful, one-of-a-kind experience.” He tucked a strand of hair behind your ear. You nodded. He stole a piece of toast and pointed it at your nose, tapping the appendage gently with the hard crust. “And Tony would never forgive us if we at least did not try.”
“Since when do you care about what Tony thinks?”
Loki gave you an impish look. “He's not all terrible. Remember the time he 3-D printed an exact replica of Mjolnir and I haunted Thor the entire day with it?”
“Thor had a mental breakdown.” You replied dryly even as your mouth involuntarily curled into a smirk.
Loki, however, gave a wide smile. “Uh-uh. Tony filmed the entire thing start to finish.”
A chuckle broke out of you before you could stop it. You liked Thor, you ready did, but that had been just a single instance of mischief in the multiple-century long prank war between the brothers. The blonde had gotten you several times in the process of getting back at Loki and you would be lying if you didn't feel vindicated for all those times you had found glitter in odd places and worse...
Not that you yourself lacked your fair share of questionable life decisions. Having fiery super-powers, being an Avenger, being Loki's girlfriend, challenging Natasha to a knife throwing competition... The list goes on. So what if you wanted your icy boyfriend to be icy in bed? So what if he wanted your fiery self be fiery in bed? They do say opposites attract and yada-yada-yada...
“Makes me wonder what the fire giants look like,” you said absent-mindedly later that night while the two of you lounged in your oversized tub. You rolled a small fireball in your palm as Loki sipped his wine.
“Like demons,” he snorted. “Nothing attractive about them.”
“Some would say demons are attractive,” you shrugged. “I think Jötuns are attractive.” Using your free hand, you squeezed a slender, muscular thigh. Loki flexed it and you ran your knuckles over the hard muscle. “Although you're the only one I've seen. Might have to tell Tony to ban any more from Earth least they come to steal all the women away, being this handsome.”
Loki's cool hand reached up over your stomach to idly toy with your breast. “Is that so? Is my Asgardian form not as stimulating?” He mused.
You pushed into the touch, purring. “There's just more of you to love, babe.”
His unmistakable laugh filled up the bathroom, genuine amusement as he flicked at your nipple and leaned down to kiss your neck. “I do not think that is anatomically possible.”
“Pfft,” you scoffed. “Ye of little faith! Have you been on the internet? Anything is possible, provided there is an adequate amount of lube and some leverage.”
The internet - surprise, surprise - was wrong. Loki expressed an unfair amount of amusement at this, and you daredsay, even gloated a little bit. Shutting him up in this form was harder than when he was regular Loki, but not doable. It was, as you both had agreed, a learning curve.
He was cold to touch. Not as a metal pole at a ski resort as you had previously thought, but enough to cause a pleasant, clean chill to settle in the back of your skull as you took the tip of his hard, blue cock intro your mouth. That was about as much as you could fit without going full Chelsea Smile around it. Your hands, kept warm by your powers, slid down his shaft, tender fingertips tracing the textured ridges covering every inch of his skin.
They were truly everywhere, and they were sensitive. Splayed on the various animal skins in front of the fireplace, Loki was a sight to behold: all cerulean blue and raven-haired, red eyes lidded with desire as they observed your exploration with mirrored curiosity. As you warm hands curled around him, a low hiss left his lips.
Attempting to say, “did that hurt?” with your mouth so full was a disaster. Loki chuckled anyway, and brought a large, cool palm to rest atop your head.
“No, darling,” his voice, in this form little more than a low growl, did something indecent to your insides. “Feels incredible.” A sigh as you swirled your tongue around the sensitive head. “I surely wish you'd let me at least keep my Asgardian measurements...”
Yes, but no. It would have been more practical, sure, but it wasn't the full Jötun experience you were seeking. With a wet pop, you dislodged your mouth from his cock to delight in his full-body shiver. To remedy the lack of your mouth, heat began to radiate from your palms; roughly the same temperature as the inside of your mouth.
“Not unless you are on board with me keeping the fire lukewarm,” you teased gently, watching his red eyes darken to a lovely burgundy. Slowly, you slid your hands over his lubricated flesh.
Loki was generous with his microexpressions in this form, with him being larger allowing for easier observation. Lust, love, yearning, a dash of insecurity and concern. He was your Loki through and through, simply blue.
“I fear I may have less allocated space for patience in this form,” he mused.
Captivating. His reclined position and the fire dancing over his skin, the horns growing tall and strong above his forehead - the helmet imitation did them no justice - Loki was a vision to behold. You wanted to eat him like the world's most exotic ice lolly and ride that fanged mouth until you forgot your own name and knew only his.
“Fuck,” you eloquently summarised your train of thought just as your hands stroked him to full mast. Loki merely tilted his head. Knowing that look well, you batted your eyelashes and gave him the final stroke before shamelessly climbing up onto his lap.
You wore nothing but a thigh-length slip of fine Asgardian silk, just like you knew he liked. Your hot, glistening cunt connected with the shaft of his cock as you settled above it, eliciting a sigh of wanton relief. Loki felt like a bag of frozen goods. You wanted to press him against everything sore.
His large, cold palm stroked the side of your face.
“Mmm,” you leaned into it, unconsciously shifting your hips to press closer to the textured hardness of his cock. It twitched as your wetness joined the spit you'd previously covered it in. Some adjusting was to be had - Loki waited patiently as you found your spot, and used his other hand to make you sit down just right. With that first, slow, slick grind, both of you were gone.
It came naturally. Loki's hands on your hips, on your face, sliding your slick cunt over the tip of his own leaking cock. His abs flexed with each measured movement; you kept your palms in closed fists, knowing better than to open them when you were this riled up.
Hurting each other was both of yours' biggest fears and it showed in the way you'd swallowed some of your moans upon feeling the beginnings of a spark crackle on your tongue. Loki refused to take his darkening eyes off your face for he would definitely lose himself in the moment and do... Something.
The intensity of your coupling grew. Your cunt provided ample lubrication on the account of your clitoris receiving all that extra stimulation from the ridges and valleys covering his cock. On harder thrusts, the very tip of his cock snagged the edge of your entrance, causing him to growl and you to whine when your hungry hole was forced to relent and clench around nothing.
It was exhilarating torture. Your cries of pleasure, as usual, only spurred the Jötun prince on.
As you arched your back and moaned loudly and brokenly up to the ceiling at a particularly hard thrust, Loki's deep growling added to the delightful cacophony of sex. He firmly held your hips, sharp nails digging into the meat of your ass, and pushed you down on his cock, missing your hole by sheer luck.
“Come for me, darling,” he rasped in that icy-sharp, husky voice. “I can feel your little quim begging for me. I may not be able to resist fucking you if you cry for me so sweetly.”
Never being the one to disobey reasonable orders, you and your abused pussy gushed your agreements as heat burst from your lower stomach and spread into your body and limbs. Loki's drawn-out hiss had you weakly trying to scramble, to get away from him least your elevated temperature burn the Jötun, but he held steadfast.
Eyes so deeply red they were almost black, Loki looked you directly in the face before his cock twitched for the last time.amd coated his chest and your front with an abundance of silver seed. His body shook with restraint even when his mouth had fallen lax and eyes lidded low; he let you rock forward to rest a hand on his hard chest as both of you caught your breath.
Giving into your body's demands, you fell ahead, uncaring of the mess. Immediately, a cold arm draped itself over you. A moment of silence was had. You licked your dry lips, sputtering somewhat as sticky - but not unpleasant - seed made way into your mouth.
“Are you alright?” Loki drawled, still breathless.
You briefly contemplated the phrasing of what you were about to say, but in the end decided to be completely honest as you two had sworn to be to each other.
“Your come tastes like snow. Literal snow.”
You heard Loki's heart skip a beat and then his chest shook, the chuckle as incredulous as your discovery.
“Noted.” Pause. “Yours feels like lava.”
Despite everything, you simply shook your head and laughed. “That's what were writing down in our science report for Tony?”
“Yes.” Loki nodded seriously. With a careless swipe of his hand, the mess disappeared, and you promptly found yourself staring at the ceiling. “Experiment number two. I am going to find out whether it also tastes like lava,” he said impishly.
Your tummy clenched in anticipation, but then you heard the proverbial sound of brakes skidding in your head. “Wait. How do you know what lava tastes like?”
“I be in situations,” ever the dutiful boyfriend, Loki mumbled his reply into the fat above your cunt on his way down to make you see stars once again. You were not complaining at all.
a/n: I'm personally very impartial to Loki being a little over 8 feet tall in his Jötun form. For, you know, reasons. My nature's pocket can fit a lot of fun things in it, but I don't know about yours so... I left the fine details to your imagination. See how I don't describe the size of his appendage? Very demure, very mindful. ✨
Additionally, I don't think Asgard has a book on erogenous zones of peoples they conquered and genocided. I'd like to think that they're both clueless here and Loki is getting to know his Jötun body in a sexual setting. But that's just me.
#loki x reader#jotun loki x reader#loki x you#jotun loki x you#female reader#jotun loki smut#loki smut#they goooooofinn'
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I just had a mental image of 40 year old OG Cale, teetering on the edge of a time travel portal that will send him back in time. And he grabs Choi Han and Alver before he falls, yelling "I'M NOT GOING THROUGH THIS ALONE!!"
And they end up back in time, at the start of the novel.
Cale wakes up, confused in his 18 year old body.
Choi Han is back in the village, right before he leaves the forest to find medicine and before the attack on the village.
And Alver wakes up at his desk, paperwork sticking to his cheek and having a small mental breakdown cause "Oh dear nature, where am I? When am I?? Why am I young?? Is this my old office??? Why am i starving?" (It's cause he didn't eat dinner the night before and regression makes him hungry)
Cale and Choi Han meet up- and tried to choke each other because "BITCH WHY DID YOU HAVE TO DRAG ME WITH YOU??" "YOU BASTARD BETTER NOT LEAVE ANOTHER SCAR I BROUGHT A KNIFE WITH ME AND IM NOT AFRAID TO USE IT!!"
Meanwhile, Alver is currently trying to convince his aunt that he's from the future and making preparations to stop the war.
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