#I just want to be normal. I want to be normal and happy. Rational level-headed not anxious paranoid and exhausted like I am
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sschmendrick · 1 year ago
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Maybe I should go back to seeing my therapist, he was a good person, à l'écoute, but maybe I should explain why I stopped seeing him (on top of work load becoming unbearable).
Same with my psychiatrist though I think it'll be harder to see her because of the summer.
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oepionie · 2 years ago
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THE WOES OF A JEALOUS FISH. octatrio
Characters: GN! Reader | Azul Ashengrotto x Reader, Jade Leech x Reader, Floyd Leech x Reader
Tags: Octatrio and jealousy, Pure fluff w/ very petty boys, Reader wears makeup in Azul's part, Jade blows a hairdryer in Floyd's face, Malewife Floyd
WordCount: 1.5k+ | 💌Masterlist
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A.A | AZUL ASHENGROTTO :
Azul blinks once, twice as he stares at the merman who was animatedly conversing with you. Rielle, Azul's old schoolmate, a prince of Atlantica, and the owner of this wretched cafe called 'The Secret Grotto'. The same cafe you've been ogling at for the last 20 minutes or so.
"Isn't this place amazing, Azul?! They even have a souvenir shop!" Now, Azul would normally find your eagerness adorable since seeing you happy was oh-so precious and priceless to him. However, this time, your enthusiasm made his heart sink while his mood deteriorated. On the surface, however, he keeps his calm and maintains his professional businessman persona, or at least he tries to.
"Monstro Lounge is far more superior. I mean...th-their cutlery doesn't even match their tablecloths here." Azul blurted out, crossing his arms over his chest and scrutinising the area intently.
"Well, we wanted to add a little bit of uniqueness! My cafe is all about personal touches, we focus more on making things look cozy!" Rielle chimes in, all bright and charming, wrapping an arm around your shoulder. Azul narrowed his eyes, his hands itching to sever the prince's arm for touching you. Oblivious to Azul's ire, you stared at the cafe in awe, pointing out the small touches thrown about here and there.
Azul frowns, sulking and wanting to leave. He wanted to leave the moment he stepped into this place but he didn't have the heart to tear you away from the cozy small cafe. Especially since you were looking forward to this date for weeks, you even got Vil to doll you up and do your makeup today.
Deep down inside he felt a tinge of insecurity because he knew you were right. The cafe really was amazing. The grove was lit up with warm lighting, and everywhere you looked was all soft and homely. Unlike Azul's cafe, this place was much less formal making it seem more down to earth.
Perhaps he should make a few tweaks to Monstro Lounge? Just to fit your tastes?
"Angelfish, I'd hate to break it to you but it's getting rather late. I'm sure Jade and Floyd are already waiting for us back at the dorms." Azul cuts in nonchalantly, a cool smile on his face. You turned to gaze out the window, seeing the sunset and the sky darkening. You nod and swiftly seize Azul's gloved hand in your own, bidding Rielle goodbye.
"Ah, I see it really is getting quite late! Feel free to visit soon!" Rielle bids you goodbye with those words, as you and Azul walk out of the quaint little cafe.
Once outside, Azul reflexively rests his hand on the small of your back, and you lean in, your head resting on his chest. It was silent for a while, both of you just enjoying the comfortable silence before Azul pulled you into an alley.
"Azul? Is something wrong-" He abruptly interrupted you and smashed his lips against yours. Azul backed you up against the wall, his hands finding purchase around your waist as you snake your arms around his neck. Minutes pass before he finally draws back and presses his forehead to yours, a heavy flush on his cheeks. You took this time to admire his dishevelled appearance, which was quite a rare sight. His glasses were crooked, the lipstick Vil picked out for you was smeared across his lips, and his vision was dazed.
"Angelfish...wouldn't you rather spend time with me instead...?"
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J.L | JADE LEECH :
He's in absolute denial.
Jealousy. What use would such petty and trivial emotion as jealousy serve? Jade already knew you were bound to him. Despite his distant and cold demeanour, you somehow pushed your way into his heart and fashioned yourself a nice little home.
Furthermore, Jade liked to consider himself as someone who was rational and level-headed. He was always in full command of every situation he was put in. The eel was cruel, merciless, and uncompromising. Him getting jealous? Jade Leech, jealous? It was a laughable thought.
Nonetheless, as he stood behind the lounge's bar, he couldn't help but feel a pang in his heart while he glared holes into the back of Floyd's head. His gloved hands were grasping onto a teacup a little too tightly. He was supposed to serve you tea.
Tea, that he brewed and prepared personally for you, ensuring that each step was meticulous and precise so that the drink was properly suited to your preferences. You, his precious pearl, who was too preoccupied running your fingers through his brother's hair.
The lounge's air conditioning had broken down, and at some point, Floyd apparently decided that it was far too hot and dumped an entire cold smoothie over his head. Now, you were fussing over the eel's damp hair, trying to get the liquid and chunks of fruit out of his locs.
Crack! Jade looked down to see the cup split in half, the warm tea he prepared for you now spilling onto the floor. Azul would've probably had his hind if he found out the eel broke such an expensive and delicate piece of china. Despite that, he had a much pressing issue to focus on. Jade's inexhaustible patience had finally run out, and he concluded that enough was enough.
He quickly poured you a new cup and walked up to the booth you were sitting in. He held a hair dryer in his left hand and the tea he had carefully made for you in his right. Finally, you had stopped fretting over Floyd and instead focused your attention on him. When you spotted him approaching, your face lit up. A smile grazed his lips for a brief moment. How lovely you were.
"Darling, why don't you take a break. Here, it's your favorite. Let me handle this." Jade murmured, running a gloved hand along your cheek. You leaned towards his touch, smiling, and took the cup from him. "Thank you, Jade. I managed to get most of the fruits out but his hair is still so wet."
"Not to worry my pearl, this isn't the first time this happened." With a chuckle, Jade plugged in the hair dryer and grabbed Floyd's chin, forcing his brother to face him.
"Now...allow let me help you, brother dearest." Jade muttered, the corner of his eyes crinkling as a sharp grin spread across his face. He set the dryer to the highest setting and directed it straight at Floyd's face. When the heavy gust of wind hit Floyd, the eel clamped his eyes tight. He whined and attempted to push Jade away, but the latter just refused to let go.
Yes, Jade is most definitely not a jealous man.
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F.L | FLOYD LEECH :
That should have been him. The eel glared at Grim who was seated in your lap. Your lap that he loved so much. Your lap that he used as a pillow every time he was slacking off at Monstro Lounge. Your lap that was supposed to be for him, not that skrunkly little cat.
To make matters worse, you were currently feeding Grim some tuna you cooked up yourself. Oh, the nightmare.
The reason? Grim had recently scored a perfect score on his exam without cheating this time! and you wanted to reward your companion for his efforts. Still, Floyd couldn't understand why you had to feed him. Isn't the baby seal big enough to feed himself? He was pretty sure he saw Grim inhale an entire tray full of food in seconds!
Growling, Floyd stomped towards your table and plopped down beside you. He huffed and started side-eyeing the cat who was dozing off and slowly chewing the tuna in his mouth. To Floyd's despair, you were much too preoccupied with fawning and cooing at the tiny brat to notice your moody lover. This was absolutely unacceptable. He demanded your attention.
"Shrimppyyy..." Floyd whined, smushing his cheek against yours, basically asking for attention. Taken aback, you jumped and whipped your head around to face him, finally acknowledging his presence.
"Floyd! How are you? How'd that test with Crewel go?" You smiled at him and moved in to peck both of his cheeks. This made him brighten up for a bit before Grim interrupted the moment.
"Oi, henchhuman, I'm out of tuna here." Grim drawled, patting his paws along your arms. Sighing, you picked up your utensil and turned away from Floyd. However, before you could bring the spoon anywhere near the container with Grim's food, Floyd's hand snatched the utensil away from you.
"Floyd, what are you-" You were cut off when he pushed a bento box towards you.
"Shrimpyy~ You gotta eat! I cooked that myself y'know." He beamed at you, draping his long arms over your shoulders. You opened the lid and gasped at contents of the meal inside. Floyd had made a Butter Salmon Bento, and you'd be damned if you didn't think it looked good. "Floyd, this is incredible...thank you very much!"
"Of course~ Here, I'll handle the baby seal for you." Before you could even say anything, he snatched Grim from your lap and tossed the cat onto the table in front of him.
"I'll even feed him for you!" Floyd laughed and took some tuna, pressing it forcefully on Grim's mouth. Grim, understandably, was reluctant to open his mouth. Floyd, on the other hand, was not about to give up so easily.
The eel hummed and leaned forward, gritting his sharp teeth as a deranged smile grew across his face.
"What's wrong baby seal? Eat it." Floyd hissed, malice oozing from his lips. Grim flinched and decided to just bolt, taking the tuna with him. "Like hell I'm doing that!"
Grim scutters away as you watch with a sheepish smile on your face. Floyd laughed contentedly and sprawled across your lap, staring up at you in adoration, his mission finally accomplished.
"Hehe~ Will you feed me next, shrimppy~?"
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Likes and Reblogs are greatly appreciated and really motivating on my end!
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rainynightmoonlight · 1 year ago
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Hi, there 🌼! :D
I saw your recent event of Songs from the heart! So I want to take the opportunity to place my order (I hope I do it right):
Fandom: Twst
Character: Silver and Deuce (normal no Yanderes)
Type: Romantic, fluff (or just fluff I leave it to your preference)
Song: Meteor Shower bye Cavetown
Reader: Female but neutral it's okay 👍
Take your time and no pressure, thank you 💐🌠✨
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.·:🎼¨༺ Songs from the heart ༻¨🎼:·. | Meteor Shower
Characters: Silver and Deuce
Song: Meteor Shower by Cavetown
Warnings: None
A/U: Self aware Twisted wonderland AU
a/n: I only do male or gender neutral reader so reader is gender neutral, but pronouns aren't used (only you/your)
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DEUCE SPADE
Deuce was very happy that you picked him for his lessons, wanting to level up his various cards. He noticed a habit you had, however, listening to music while you played the game. It put a smile on his face as he heard you humming the tune. The lessons would mostly go over Deuce’s head because he was more focused on the song you were playing. He couldn’t help but blush deeply as he felt that this song was directed at him. 
“I'd sell my own bones for sapphire stones. 'Cause blue is your favourite colour”
That one lyric did something to his heartstrings. Deuce’s eyes were gleaming, deep in his heart and his mind he hoped that you directed that at him. Sure, his favorite color might not have been blue, but it seemingly meant that you would do anything to make him smile. The god over Twisted Wonderland wanted to make him happy. He started to kick his legs under the desk, feeling an overwhelming feeling of joy. This meant you loved him, even if it was a little bit.
Deuce was trying too hard to conceptualize your feelings, reading a bit too much into the song. All his thoughts were trying to rationalize that one lyric. His eyes were spinning to represent what was going on inside him. He felt his heart beat even faster the more his mind was stuck on that one song lyric. Nothing around him, except you, could pull him out of his lovesick spiraling mind. 
It took him a while to stop the swarming ideas and focus back on you. Deuce just stared at you as you were exiting the lessons. He wished you stayed a little longer, even if he was on your main screen, so he could tell you his thoughts. Deuce’s lips curled into a huge smile, one that kind of hurt his cheeks. He pledged to himself after the last lesson ended, as a compromise, bringing a hand to his heart.
“I’ll try my best to make you happy too, oh great creator!”
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SILVER
Silver was very prideful the moment you picked one of his cards to use for the exams. It meant that he got to fight for you, and he was used to fighting for others. He is a knight in training, after all, so could you really blame him for wanting to be your knight? During the exams, there were times where your team got close to losing, but only because you kept getting distracted by the music you were listening too. Silver had heard the music, but this one song, along with one particular lyric, had caught his attention.
“But don't go outside, it's dangerous tonight. Without me right here by your side”
Silver paused in the middle of his attack, which wasn’t a good idea, but he couldn’t help it. That one lyric caught him off guard. And it came out of your lips as you sang along. It must have meant something. A sign from you, the overseeing creator of this world, as you looked at him.
Silver tried his best not to worry too much about it, focusing so much on the fight. But that lyric buzzed around in his head, over and over again. It was on repeat, as if it were a mantra or a holy prayer to you. He wondered if you would say this to anyone else, or if it was just reserved to him. Silver tried to keep his composure and keep his focus on his attacks on the battle.
As the final exam finished up, he felt proud he won all five of them, but also feeling so prideful about that one lyric. It didn’t leave Silver’s mind as he stared at you through the victory screen. He saw your bright smile, further confirming that the lyric you muttered was directed at him. Silver had so much love and joy in his heart as you closed the victory screen. He still watched you on the main screen, hoping you heard his promise. 
“I will protect you too, and I’m honored you wish to protect me.”
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Do not repost or translate without my explicit permission! Reblogs are welcome!
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lostinlewis · 2 years ago
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Old Flame ~ Part Five
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Rating: M
Words: 4532
Character: Lewis Hamilton x F!Reader
Description: You learnt so much from your first love but the most important lesson he taught you was how to deal with heartbreak, even if it takes you six years. You were almost there, you almost made it days at a time without thinking about him…that was until he turned up in the most unexpected of places. ~ Part One
Fuck. Fuckity fuck fuck FUCK. He kept the ring. Why did he keep the ring? 
Your thoughts were in overdrive, your anxiety levels through the roof. The room was spinning as you tried so hard to be rational, something which was never your strong point.
Why did this have to be happening now? Things were actually starting to feel normal again and you had to find this?
Fuck. 
“What are you doing?” 
You almost jumped completely off of the bed at the sound of his voice filling the air all of a sudden. You were so wrapped up in the thoughts racing through your head you didn’t hear him arrive home. 
“I said, what are you doing?”
Lewis’ voice was cold, unemotional, the complete opposite to anything you felt right now. His face was like thunder, he wasn’t happy.
“I…was-I was just looking for a T-Shirt to wear and I found…this.” You held the box up like he hadn’t already noticed it. “Why-what is this doing here?” 
“You left it here.”
Lewis leant against the doorframe just observing you. He was doing nothing to help settle your anxiety, if anything he was feeding it. 
What was his problem? Was he annoyed with you for finding it?
“I know I left it here. Why have you still got it?” 
“To be honest, I don’t know. I picked it up from my pillow the morning I came home to find you gone, put it in the drawer and never took it back out again.” Lewis sat down on the bed next to you, the weight adjustment made you rise higher. “I kinda got used to seeing it there, I guess.” 
“Can we get rid of it, please?” You handed it to him with a screwed up face. “The sight of it is making me feel sick.” 
He took it from you and placed it in his pocket, letting out an audible sigh. 
“You know, at some point, what happened won’t hurt as much anymore right?” 
How could he possibly know that? It had been six years of pain, six years of your heart never quite repairing. Every attempt you had made so far at ‘getting over it’ was just a futile gesture, covering the cracks with cheap band aids that would fall off with the least amount of pressure. He couldn’t possibly know for sure that it would ever stop hurting, it hadn’t so far. 
“What was your news?”
The tension in the room was still ridiculously high. You hoped his news might lighten the  mood. 
“Don’t worry about it right now, that can wait.” He grabbed your hand to hold it in his, his thumb tenderly brushing your skin, his signature move for calming you. “Let’s go for a walk on the beach, we have plenty of time to talk later.” 
“But I want to know now.” 
He sighed and shook his head, his patience was wearing very thin today and what he didn’t need right now was your stubbornness. 
“Can you just leave it, please?” 
You wanted to know, but you knew better than to push him anymore. Something was bothering him, something was weighing heavy on his mind and you knew it was way more than the ring. 
-
Lewis had let you shower alone and that was telling enough that something wasn’t right with him, the silence as you walked across the almost empty beach hand in hand cemented it. You tried to find the perfect moment to ask him again but it was never quite there. 
“Still want to go home tomorrow?” Lewis broke the silence instead.
“I mean, I have to. I have work commitments. It’s not like I can stay here forever.” 
Lewis paused before speaking, every word he spoke that day was well thought out, with caution of saying the wrong thing.
“Well you could, if you really wanted to.” 
“Lewis, don’t start this again please. We’ve been back to-“ you stopped yourself before committing to a relationship with him. “We’ve been back in contact for a little under two months, I can’t just leave everything behind that I’ve built back home and move here for someone I have been seeing for only a few weeks.” 
“You talk like I’m a stranger.”
“But you are, Lewis. We are both strangers. We are not the same kids that fell in love all those years ago. We’re adults now, adults with completely separate lives who have to try and figure out how their lives could ever gel together again.” 
“I don’t have to figure anything out. I want to be with you, no one or nothing else even comes close to making me feel like you do.” 
“Lewis, stop-“ 
“No. I’m serious.” He stopped you both in your tracks and pulled you to face him. “I love you. I can’t take back the past but I can fix your future. I know now what it takes to love you the way you deserve, let me.” 
As you stared into his eyes you thought about the future, about your future being with Lewis and it wasn’t a bad thought. If you were completely honest, a future with Lewis in Monaco, regular beach walks, a life of pure luxury, felt like bliss. You weren't quite sure you were brave enough to take that risk, though. 
“Okay.” 
“Okay as in you want to make this work or okay as in stop talking Lewis?” He had the sweetest smile of anticipation on his face. 
“Okay as in I will go home tomorrow as planned, and we will talk about how we’re going to make ‘Us’ work.” 
“You said ‘Us’.” He pulled you in to kiss him, his hands placed firmly on your hips. “We’re going to work, I promise.” 
“I hope so.” You mumbled in between kisses. 
“Can I please take you home now? I’ve been wanting to fuck you all morning.” Lewis took your hand and placed it on his hardened bulge.
“What if I make you wait and instead we spend the day doing exactly what we used to do, seeing as it’s my last day here and all?” 
He let out a little groan at the thought of having to wait. 
“If I remember correctly this was exactly how we started the day, every day.”
“It was. But our day has already started, so you will have to wait until nighttime.” 
“You are such a tease, baby. I don’t think I can wait.” 
You palmed his bulge a little.
“If you wait, I will make it worth your while.” He knew exactly what you meant by the smirk on your face. “Now let’s go and have some fun!” 
“I mean I was trying to…”
-
You both filled your day with as many activities as possible. As you walked around, hand in hand, admiring the architecture of the cathedral it really felt like you two were in love once again. It felt like you were two lovers away on their very first trip abroad, filling each moment of their day with sight seeing and fucking.
Lewis made you stop outside of every tourist destination you visited, he’d ask a random stranger to take a picture of you both, advising you that he needed to fill up his photo album, aptly titled with your name, so he could look at you even when you were away. He never once minded that it usually meant he’d have to then take a picture with the stranger, they were almost always a fan of his. It didn’t matter, it meant he had a picture with his girl outside of some of Monaco’s most beautiful venues, a photo with a fan was a fine sacrifice for that. 
You spent a few hours in the casino, Lewis had decided you were his lucky charm and weirdly enough it seemed to work. He made you kiss his fist full of dice before he threw them, beating the house more times than not, much to their annoyance. 
Your excited laughter drowned out the rest of the casino, you knew all eyes were on you both but neither one of you cared. It was always so easy to lose yourself in the moment with Lewis, that hadn’t changed that at all. You could be in a room full of people yet all you would see would be each other.
-
“This has been the best day I’ve had in such a long time.” 
Lewis purred in your ear as you both stood in a quiet secluded spot overlooking the harbour as the sunset in the distance. His arms were wrapped around you from behind, his hands locked into yours at your stomach, your head rested back against his chest as you both savoured the moment of peace together.
The scenery was truly beautiful, the electricity that sparked between the both of you was even more so.
“Me too.” 
It honestly was, you couldn’t remember a time that felt more peaceful than this moment right here. 
“I wish you didn’t have to go.”
He whispered as he placed a gentle kiss on the crook of your neck. 
“Lewis, we spoke about this already.” 
“I know but I still don’t want you to leave me. I want you by my side at all times, everywhere I go.” Soft wet kisses danced on the neck of your skin between every word. “Don’t argue, please. Let me tell you.” 
He spun you around to face him, his eyes darted around your face before settling to meet your own gaze. 
“I will never stop telling you how I feel. I made that mistake once, I took you for granted and I’ll never forgive myself for that.” 
His lips brushed over yours, his hands pulled your body into his before he hiked your thighs over his arms, placing you on the wall to rest.
You kissed, your lips in sync, your tongues fighting a battle for dominance, for what felt like a very long time. It felt like you were teenagers again, sneaking out of your respective houses to meet up at the local park just to kiss in secret. This time there were no parents to tell you to be home at a certain time, there was no one to stop either of you from doing exactly what you wanted and right now, this was it. 
“Let’s head home, I have a surprise for you.” 
As you walked back to the apartment, hand in hand, the heat at your core hoped his surprise was the thing he was the best at.
-
The apartment was lit with candles from the entrance, down the hallway and into the living room, leading out to the balcony where a table was laid with a single rose and a candle in the middle. The air was filled with the aroma of your favourite food, Thai. Lewis took your hand and led you through the candle lit pathway and out onto the balcony. 
“Lewis, this is so beautiful. Thank you, when did you do all of this?” 
He moved your seat out for you to sit down, like a true gentleman, before taking a seat himself opposite you. 
“I organised it whilst we were out. I had to make your last night here one to remember.” He poured you both a glass of Champagne. 
“The whole day has just been perfect, thank you.” You sipped on the glass, holding eye contact with him for a moment. “I remember we did this once before, for our anniversary. We spent the whole night on this balcony, making plans for our future, naming our kids-“
“I remember, you laid in my arms as we looked up at the stars and planned our whole lives.” 
The shared smile between you both felt like an understanding, a truce of sorts.
“I was going to wait until the end of the night to say this but now seems like the right time.” 
You watched as he took a huge gulp of his Champagne before reaching inside his pocket. 
“I’ve loved you forever, I will love you forever. I never want to be without you ever again and I will do everything in my power to make you stay with me.”
He had you completely transfixed with his words, you didn’t notice what he was doing at first. The moment you did, your stomach dropped. 
“Marry me, please.” He was down on one knee, flashing the ring he had proposed with years ago. “Let me be your husband.” 
You froze, not a single thought or word could be processed. You stared blankly at him, completely unaware that he needed you to respond. 
“Please?” The desperation was so apparent in his voice now, he all but begged you to answer. 
All you could do was shake your head, ever so slightly, no. 
Lewis sighed and stood up. He went to get back in his seat but something registered in his brain that made him turn back to you. 
“Do you know what? I am tired. I am tired of constantly apologising to you for one stupid mistake I made so long ago. I can’t do this anymore. I have tried so hard to make you remember the thousands of good memories we have together but your focus is always on the one bad.” He placed the box on the table in front of you. “I am done trying. Go home tomorrow and I’ll no longer burden you with the thought of me. Keep this as a souvenir.” 
The front door of the apartment slammed shut, waking you from your haze with a jolt. 
Fuck. 
-
You sat with your feet up on the chair he left you in, your arms wrapped around your legs as you stared into the distance. You sat for hours, listening for any creak of the door, a sign that he had come home. He never did. You didn’t sleep at all before morning broke over the horizon, the sounds of the birds singing their sweet song signified it was home time. 
It took no time at all to pack up your suitcase, as you looked around the apartment one last time from the doorway you felt an immense amount of sadness. You loved it, every single part of it signified your relationship of both the past and the present with your soul mate. You knew he was your soul mate, whether you could be with him or not, that fact would never change.
You checked your phone in the taxi, despite having it with you the whole night you hoped maybe you hadn’t noticed a missed call or a message, there was nothing. Your thumb hovered over his name in your contacts a few times, you were so tempted to call him, to say what? You didn’t know but you just wanted to hear his voice, it was the only thing that ever gave you comfort in your moments of sadness and despite the fact it was completely selfish of you, having broken his heart hours before, you needed him. 
A part of you hoped he would be waiting for you at the airport, to stop you from leaving with a big loving gesture, but he wasn’t. There was no call, no message, no him and it ate you up inside. 
“Mrs Hamilton…oh I’m sorry that’s not your name I just assumed-“ the check in clerk stumbled as they read who had booked your flight, an easy mistake to make but one that rattled you. 
“What did you call me?“
“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have ass-“
“Call me it again. Please.” 
“Mrs Hamilton.” 
The realisation hit you like a tonne of bricks. Being referred to as ‘Mrs Hamilton’ had been one of your goals as a teenager as you stood at your window watching him begin his evening jog, you knew the exact time he would set off. You’d stand there timing his run, strategically placed behind your curtain so he wouldn’t spot you as you watched him return, all hot and sweaty. Lewis still never knew how many nights you’d get yourself off to the 30 second long imagery of him double over, trying to catch his breath. 
“Sorry, I’ve got to go.” You left your ticket on the check in desk before hurrying out of the airport, your suitcase dragging along behind you. 
-
You called him repeatedly and his phone went to voicemail every single time. Lewis always had his phone charged and in his hand, how was it possible that his phone would be off? 
“Lewis, where are you? I need to see you.” Your voice was a hurried mess, he would think something had happened to you when he heard it but you had no time to worry about that now. 
Monaco always felt so small when you lived there, like a village of sorts, where everyone knew everyone, but it had never felt bigger as you went from hotel to hotel, restaurant to restaurant trying to find Lewis. 
He was nowhere, his phone was still going to voicemail and your messages were undelivered. You debated contacting someone in his world, maybe another driver, maybe someone in the team but thought better of it. No one had heard from you in years, besides, you still were not quite sure what you were hoping to achieve when you eventually tracked Lewis down, you just knew you needed to see him. 
-
Four hours you searched, walking through the streets of Monte Carlo, dragging your suitcase behind you, your phone clutched permanently in your hand, not wanting to miss any kind of notification from him. His social media was dormant, no ‘Good Morning World’ Instagram story. He was quite literally M.I.A and you couldn’t help but worry. 
You walked until you physically could not walk any further, the ache in your legs and your feet was all too much, so you hailed a taxi down to take you back to the apartment, figuring you could rest there for a little while before getting back to searching for him.
There was just one problem though, you had no keys. The realisation hit you as you searched your bag outside of the door. You hadn’t had keys to the apartment since you left six years ago. You slumped against the door sliding down it until you were sitting on the floor. Overcome with a mixture of emotion and exhaustion, you held your face in your hands and sobbed silent tears. 
Maybe if you had been louder he would have found you sooner, but he found you nevertheless. It was hard to miss you, you fell back into the apartment and landed at his feet as he opened the door to head out.  
“What the-” Lewis was puzzled, the last thing he expected to be faced with when he was heading out the door was you. “Baby, what are you doing here?” 
He held your hands to pull you to your feet, he noted the smeared makeup, the mascara lines that decorated your cheeks. 
“What’s wrong? What happened?” He used both thumbs to wipe away your tears as he led you into the apartment, sitting you down next to him on the sofa.
“Lewis, I’m sorry I-” You cried some more, unable to get out any of the many sentences you had practised in your head as you walked the streets in search of him. “I looked everywhere for you, where were you?” 
“You did? Oh, Baby.” He pulled you into a hug, you buried your face into the crook of his neck. There was so much comfort found in his scent. “What is going on? I thought you left?” 
“I was-I almost did. But at the airport, the lady called me-” You sniffed. “She called me Mrs Hamilton and I couldn’t leave you.” 
You were fully aware that none of what you really wanted to say was coming out, the words that did escape made it almost impossible for Lewis to understand how you felt. 
“Baby, I do not know what is going through your mind right now but I’m here.” He fell back on the sofa, pulling you on top of him so he could hug you properly as he placed little soft kisses on your forehead. “You do not have to say anything, we can just lay here until you feel better.” 
You rubbed your face across his chest, the warmth of his body really felt like home.
“I’m sorry for what I said last night. I will never stop apologising.”
You propped yourself up on him to kiss his lips and as if by magic, the feel of his lips against yours, made all of your thoughts clear at once. 
“Marry me, Lewis.” You whispered into his mouth.
“What?” He had heard you, he just didn’t believe it. 
You jumped up and ran to your suitcase, searching through it like a maniac until you found the box. You ran back over to him and took his hand.
“Marry me, please. This is-no, you are everything I want. I am so rubbish with words but I love you, you are my soulmate, you are everything to me. You have been everything to me since I first met the boy next door and that will never change.” He nudged your chin up to kiss your lips but you broke away, you weren’t finished yet. “I love you more than anything or anybody else in this entire world. I want to be Mrs Hamilton.” 
You took the ring and attempted to place it on his ring finger, struggling to even get it past the first knuckle.
“It’ll never fit my finger, silly.” Lewis teased you. “Look at me.”
You stopped focusing on trying to get the ring on his finger, you looked up into his beautifully kind brown eyes. 
“Yes, I’ll marry you. Of course I’ll marry you.” He took the ring off of his finger and placed it on yours, it fit perfectly. “You should wear the ring.” 
Your smiles instantly mirrored each other, Lewis pulled you up from the position you knelt in front of him and you straddled his lap. Your lips met for the first time with so much weight of promise behind them. You had both just promised to be with each other forever, whilst having done this previously, this time it felt different. It was real. 
You kissed for a while, a long while, so wrapped up in each other, so desperate to be as close as possible but neither one of you wanted to tarnish the moment with anything other than a kiss. 
“I should tell my mum!” The excitement radiated through your voice as you reached for your phone. “This is like her dream come true!” 
“Babe, before you do that I need to talk to you.” Lewis’ tone of voice really cut through the harmonious atmosphere and sent an anxious prang to your stomach. “Don’t look like that, it is nothing to worry about.” 
“What is it? Tell me, please.” 
“My business meeting yesterday morning was with Mercedes.”
“Well obviously, Lewis.” You were impatient, you always were when you were anxious.
“Just let me finish, please.” You could see the pain in his eyes as he thought about how he would deliver whatever news he had for you. “I told them that I’m retiring at the end of this 
season.” 
“You’re what?!” Your eyes almost bulged out of your head as you processed the words he said. “Why?” 
“For you, silly.” 
“No, absolutely not. Do not do this for me, do not do it at all!” 
“Well it’s not your decision to make, and I’ve already spoken to Toto about it. It’s final, I’m retiring at the end of the season.” His voice was irritatingly calm as he spoke about ending the career he had fought so hard to have over practically his whole life. 
“But why, Lewis? Why now? Why for me? I haven’t asked you to do this.” 
This was a disaster, you knew he would end up resenting you forever if he did this, everyone would resent you. 
“Remember I always told you I didn’t want to settle down, get married, start a family whilst racing?” 
“Yes, and I completely understood that.” 
“That is still the case, I do not want to do those things whilst racing, it’s too dangerous. Before, I wasn’t ready or even sure I really wanted that life, the family life. Now we are back together, I have never been more sure about anything in my whole existence. This is what I want, I want you, I want some babies with you and I want a happy life. Racing has been everything to me for so long but it is far too much of a risk for what my heart now desires.” 
“We can wait a few years, Lewis. You are still in your prime.” 
“I don’t want to wait any longer. I want to start our life together as soon as possible, if I could leave now I absolutely would without a second thought.” 
“This is so overwhelming. We’re engaged, you’re retiring…are we crazy? This is happening so fast.” 
“I am crazy, every weekend when I step in that car I am crazy but this? This is the most sane thing I have ever done.”
You finally relaxed a little again, placing your head into the gap between his arm and his chest as he held you, both of you staring at the ceiling, running through your many thoughts. 
“Oh god.” You groaned. 
“What now?”
“I’m going to be the Yoko Ono of the Formula One world.” 
Lewis chuckled before kissing you on your forehead once again. 
“You are so silly. Do you really think people aren’t going to love you? Baby, there are still fan pages dedicated to you, to our relationship. Just wait until I post you on Instagram, we might just break the internet.” 
“Let’s do it!” 
“What, now?” 
“Yes, why wait? Let’s tell the world right now. This is the perfect time, no one can get to us, we are here in our apartment in Monaco with no real plans for the next week. Let’s tell everyone now.” 
“You said ‘Our apartment’” Lewis cooed. 
And so the world found out about your reunion, your engagement and Lewis’ retirement all within one Instagram post. The picture was of you both as you laid on the sofa, Lewis with the biggest smile on his face, his eyes crinkling confirming his happiness, you placing a kiss on his cheek with your arm wrapped tightly around his chest. 
‘I used to think I was placed on Earth to be the world’s greatest Formula One driver, turns out I was placed on this Earth to be her husband. This woman right here will be my wife soon, the mother to our children in the future and the sole reason for my eternal happiness. I love her and I know you will all love her too. Whilst I will no longer be a racing driver, I will never leave. I have so much purpose to fulfil, but this time I get to do it with the strongest woman beside me.’
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doctorguilty · 1 year ago
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Heavyyyy venting about mental illness
Lms would be nice if you're comfortable
It's really hard to function with how horrific everything is like not just objectively but also in mentally ill ways that impact me daily, extreme guilt, delusions that events are somehow my fault, obsessive compulsive thoughts and behavior, nightmares, anxiety attacks, intrusive thoughts, suicidal ideation, etc
It's certainly not easy managing the spike in these symptoms while also dealing with SAD, major depression, extreme fatigue, isolation, all the stuff I gripe about you've seen a million times. And for what it's worth, 2 people in my family (not directly close to me but close to people close to me ie my my mom) have passed away in something like the same week (one of these deaths being particularly tragic). So all those same mentally ill feelings bleed over into that, that this is my fault, more bad things are going to happen because of me, etc. I cry a lot, I'm crying right now, I know these thoughts are not rational but that does not just make make go away, in the same way I know I don't want to keep picking my skin or plucking my hair but even as I'm doing it, I can't stop.
More upsetting thoughts include the idea that just venting will make everyone hate me, that I am selfish for expressing any level of suffering when it could be worse. And I find myself wishing it was. That I'd suffer more, that I could trade places with someone else and die instead of them, things that are simply impossible.
I feel guilt when I eat, when I shower, when I go to bed, when I watch tv, when i go outside.
Being disabled and without transportation and such, there is only so much I can do to try to tip the scale and feel like am helping enough to justify my existence. I continuously donate what I can, I bombard my representatives with letters and cosogned petitions regularly (I am subscribed to resistbot premium to make it even easier), I have been [redacted for safety] the rare times I leave the house, I'm going to later (when I calm down) make a post with some letters people can also share and sent to their reps with resistbot...
But the terrible thoughts and behavior prevail and smother me...
Not that I WANT anyone else to experience this, but I can't help but hope I'm not alone in struggling with these things.. because I feel alone. Everyone around me is going on with life normal, they may feel anxious and sad but they don't have symptoms incapacitating as mine manifest, it's not much unlike how wherever I go, I'm lucky if I see one or two other people wearing a face mask like me.
Anyway I just.. wanted to get some of that off my chest, that I'm really not okay, but I don't feel comfortable posting about it these specific things all the time the way I vent about like, my shitty environment and whatever crap of the day. I find it hard to be happy about anything most days. I find it hard to distract myself from my own head with anything. I can't concentrate on this post anymore because of shouting outside my door..
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migratingmarcus · 11 months ago
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Dad said,"i didn't know who you are, actually"
The oldest memory I have regarding dad is his commentary about me when I was young. Back then, I was around 6 to 7 years old. Me and my family was on a family trip. We were at the terrace, outside the restaurant, and me, mom and dad were chatting. Then suddenly dad look at me, said, "Before this trip, I didn't actually knew who you are. I didn't know what kind of person you are. I didn't know you can talk like this, and you are fun like this."
That was a bit surprising for me, because I didn't know he had those thoughts. My dad is really a practical man and he always says something shortly but neatly. For me, he was the one who could reach the core point directly, while I was wandering around the jungle of meaning and long, complex sentences in my head. He always said what I wanted to say in a really simple way, while I was mumbling, being crushed under the tons of thoughts and eventually giving up bringing up the idea. When I stand in front of him, I feel relieved (because dad was a strong man who can and always tries to protect me) but also I felt like I became the dumb, the trash, the one who's daydreaming and failed to become as practical as him, and failed to live life in an effective way. He had never scolded me; my parents were always supportive of me. However, I always felt some awkwardness. So even when I was young, I thought of myself as someone that there's no need for people around me to understand. Because if someone has a problem understanding me, then the problem would be on my side, not them. 'They don't have to waste time figuring out who I am', I thought.
When he said that he FINALLY started to grab who I am, I was bit confused. Because that fun, talkative little girl was not me. It was just one state of me. I was not telling funny stories to them for my parents; I was doing that for myself. Because that was the first time that I myself felt I am connected to them. They were laughing, and that was the reaction I could expect rationally. I put some input value(joke) and then the outcome(parents laughing) came out.
That summer, there was a book about silly jokes and wordplays and nonsenses in the classroom. I read that book over and over again for no reason, memorized the whole book, and told the story and jokes to my parents. I was a shy girl, but when I told them jokes, I became really excited. Energy, to the too-much level.
That was the problem. I always had the problem figuring out to which level I should be excited, and to which level I should feel depressed. There was no "balance-point". I was always extreme. And I knew that after this trip, after leaving this unfamiliar country, I would go back to that shy, quiet, uneasy girl to understand.
*
How can a 6-year-old kid deal with the feeling that even one of the people closest to her, her parents, didn't understand her? When Dad said, "I never understood you," it wasn't a violent or scolding tone; it was a simple, honest confession. He wasn't angry, in fact, he seemed quite happy. With my sudden outburst of words to them, and the fact that I was laughing a lot and being very active, it seemed like he had finally put me in the category of normal, noisy kids that he could understand. He had a hard time understanding what I was like, what type of person I was. He was a sensory person, and I was an overly profound person, and even that didn't manifest itself in a childhood of little activity. Consequently, in my parents' eyes, I was a child who was 'too much, too still, even lethargic'. To them, I seemed indifferent to almost everything, lazy, and lacking in greed or desire. I was a somewhat empty child; some part of me was missing. My dad may have been trying to understand me when I was little, but consistently failing. I feel bad for him. My parents were too young back then. They were only 30s.
*
When it comes to my mom, I had ambivalent feelings about how she "thought" she understood me. In fact she was the one who didn't understand me the most. I wasn't angry or frustrated; I was just exhausted and tired when I was with my mom. She thought I was just like her because I was worried a lot like her. But unlike mom, I wasn't warm hearted person, and in some ways, I was overly indifferent. I felt guilty about that, but I wasn't attached to her to the point of letting that guilt drive my behavior, so I never forced myself to do anything I didn't want to do. I succeeded in not creating a weird coexistence between the daughter and the mother that often happens. I managed to keep her separate, but in other words, I was being selfish and a bitch. The worst part was, I didn't give a damn about it. Even if I knew it's not right. It's not right thing to think and do to my mom. She's an angel, who has a sweet heart.
Dad was the opposite. In some ways, he was the one who understood me most, because he didn't think too much and got to the point very easily, because he saw me "as I am." But that's exactly the same reason that, he couldn't offer me explanations. The advice he gave me when I was young("You have to be able to open up to your friends," or "If the water is too clear, there are no fish in it. You can't navigate the world with such strict ethical standards") or the comfort and support he offered me when I least expected it("Be yourself.") was always a huge transition and a huge shock to me. He did it instinctively, but at the same time, he couldn't see that I might be a person who needed more than just a little more flexibility and a little more grounding, because I, too, am only now beginning to see that.
The whole journey started last year when I came across a text about neuro-diversity by accident.
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emotionalboygirl · 8 months ago
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my partner and I decided to open our relationship. I don't have much interest in seeing anyone new, myself, but I encouraged them to do so if they'd like (I don't think it would be fair to restrict someone in that way, also, we started the relationship out as non-monogamous many years ago so it's not an entirely new concept for us).
so my partner just started seeing a new person, and I can't help but to be sad/jealous/mournful/confused about it. I don't think I'm ready to talk about it just yet with them because a lot of my feelings are still unfinished thoughts. I know a lot of it is internalized dysphoria about my own body and that I know my partner has a preference for women, and for penises. I am not a woman, and I don't have a penis. these are both things I've been insecure about in my life and my relationship, and have been honest about, for the most part. however, this new person they're seeing applies to both of those, and I feel like I could never physically compete with someone who is their perfect physical preference. I know that it is not a competition, but I can't help but feel like it is when this is the first person they've brought into our home.
of course a lot of it would also be that I'm scared they will love me less, and the possibility of a breakup due to them desiring someone else more, even though that's typically not how polygamy works. if that is how it turns out, however, I can be accepting of it, even if it hurts a lot. I care about my partner so much, and I want to see them happy no matter what, even if it's not with me. I also have to rationalize and know that these are hypotheticals, and probably not something that would happen any time soon, if they were to happen at all.
i feel like I'm between a rock and a hard place with my emotions right now, because I still don't know exactly what I do and don't want. I do want my partner to be happy and be able to express their sexuality in a way that they want, with a person that makes them happy and comfortable. but on the flip side, I want that person to be me. I know it's not entirely possible, and that's really tearing me up. I don't think it's fair to have an expectation that my partner should be attracted to me and ONLY me, but boy! jealousy is a bitch and can sneak up in the worst ways. I don't want to be jealous. I want to feel confident in myself and secure in my relationship but with all these new negative feelings swirling around my brain it's hard to feel secure. I feel like the carpet could be ripped out from under me at any point. and I know that's irrational. I know the best way to go about this is to have a level head, be in touch with my own emotions, and listen to what my partner has to say about it.
I think it would be best to ask them how they feel, and afterwards look inward based on what they have to say about everything. I know open, honest communication is the only way to resolve any negative emotions but I'm just not ready since my feelings are all still very fresh and not cohesive. anxiety, fear, and confusion are all present, but I think I need to think quietly and really dig down to the root and find out why I feel these things in order to address it all.
why am I so scared to lose them? why am I so quick to be so insecure? what am I so fearful of?
why am I so frustrated with myself because I have these emotions? I rarely let myself be upset, I feel like I force myself to be positive-minded at all times, and I just need to let myself be sad and angry and confused. it's normal and healthy to have negative emotions. the best way to resolve them is by studying them and understanding them.
I'll be journaling more about this, but for now, I think I need to take a step back and go for a walk. peace
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sunriseverse · 1 year ago
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it’s crazy to me how as soon as xy realized that hey, this is guy is nice to me? he just got bored and stopped antagonizing xxc. truly just shows how much he is a product of his environment and if even one person would have loved him when he was a child the whole chang clan massacre probably could have been avoided. he is a character so deeply deprived of genuine love and care it is actually insane. when i look at him i see someone is holding on so deeply to a child’s anger that he can’t possibly understand how he could be in the wrong. it’s like, you know when a kid gets mad and they’re like, “it’s MY toy!” or “he hit ME first!” and they don’t think about how actions made in retaliation could also be wrong because they don’t have the emotional capacity to do so yet? neither does xue yang. his trauma stunted his emotional development so genuinely badly because no one was ever there to help him work through it so it just sat and ruminated for years and years and years. and of course by the time the chang massacre rolled around he probably thought murder was like… the normalest thing ever. but as soon as someone was nice to him he was just happy to play house. who needs murder when you have to fix a leaking roof?
this got long again i really do apologise! please find my rambling below the cut.
part of me feels the need to preface this with a “yes i know he’s a bad person i’m not excusing his actions etc etc etc” but we are both rational adults and fans here so like. fuck that tee bee aich. i think you’ve hit the nail pretty much head on—xy is (as are……….basically all the characters in mdzs, to more or less obvious degrees) a product of his environment. yes, he made the choices he made, but that doesn’t change the fact that he was, essentially, given a really big disadvantage at best to start with. like you say—xy’s trauma, and the way people treated and continue to treat him, absolutely stunted his ability to even conceptualise situations as more than a “me versus them” and have in-depth reflections on nuances.
on that note, i want to touch on the finger thing. his own reasoning for the chang massacre is absolutely childish in nature—but also, there’s no other way to say it: it’s entirely possible that, if he was even a hair’s breath less lucky, that injury could have killed him. even when it didn’t, that was an incalculably cruel thing to do to a literal child, just because you can. the only difference between xy and any other child who may have suffered at cca’s hand is that xy grew up to be able to take revenge for it. that’s it. in the framework of mdzs, it’s perfectly acceptable on a social level to kill someone to take revenge for them killing one of yours—it’s life for a life to settle a debt. in xy’s mind, he really does believe a finger, and thus the loss of a potentially entirely different life, is perfectly balanced by the lives of the chang clan. i’m not going to argue whether or not this is “true”—it doesn’t really matter. all that i want to highlight is that he’s not making shit up—he’s taking an existing societal framework and applying his own understanding to it—an understanding that is, necessarily, stunted and warped by his own experiences. (another thing i think that xy forces the audience to face is the question of “how much suffering or pain is enough to be ‘worthy’ before you’re allowed to do something about it?” his society says a life; he says a loss of a potential life. this is a question we could debate until the geese migrate, and come to wildly different answers based on cultural differences.) (and to that point—i wouldn’t say xy thinks murder is normal—instead, i would say that he merely has a different metric for what makes murder “acceptable” than the society around him. no one particularly bats an eye at the wen wwx tortured brutally and, yes, murdered, to take retribution for the jiang massacre, in or out of canon, because this is an “acceptable” situation for murder. but, of course, this is me being pedantic.)
as to your final point—yes. who does need murder when you can fix a leaking roof? isn’t it so much more fulfilling to fix a problem than to bloody a blade? death will just come back to haunt you—family, friends, the government, random fucking cultivators who decide to track you down for your crimes, and so forth. a leaking roof is simple. it doesn’t ask you to consider consequences, or ramifications, or anything more than “where am i going to get a nail” and “where did i put the hammer” and “i hope it doesn’t rain while i’m trying to fix it”. a leaking roof is the sort of simplicity xy, i think, even if he will never admit it, craves—you have a problem, and you fix it, and that’s the end. now you can have dinner without getting wet.
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daggryet · 1 year ago
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childe's appeal for me was in the fact that he's such a little shit that I wanted to beat him up sooo badly. and then we actually got a fight with him in the dragon room and I was so happy
but also the fact that he's like. he's like a guy who wants to fight and he's violent and you'd think he'd be like. the orphan type. and then you learn he has a loving family and shit (I'm not there yet but i know a lot about genshin via osmosis) and it's just so funny to me. and all the official domestic artwork doesn't hurt tbh
and I do like his va, but because I play with subtitles in my own language I turned the chinese voiceover on so idk
I figured out that my game is fine and my world lvl is in fact 5!! I'm just a dummy and didn't see it/check it properly
thank god you can lower it. I did it and now I'm gonna go farm shit (I like. I went into some dungeon where you have to solve a mystery and now I can't go multiplayer until I finish it. genshin I'm gonna bite you)
so yes. it's not a bug in the game, it's bugs in my head (aka adhd)
❤💛
tbh when he first showed up i was very excited to see the only character i actually knew the name of way, way before i ever got interested in it.
the golden house fight was such a low point for me, when i first wanted to attempt it my party level wasn't high enough, so i grinded grinded and got my characters to absolute max. and when i came back like two weeks later, my characters were like 20 levels above the childe boss. it was a very quick fight 😭 all that worrying for naught...
i actually really wanna change my language to chinese or korean when i get tighnari, i really like his va in those languages.
i've not done coop yet, i probably should try since there's so many rewards for doing it, it's just scary seeing the pop up of someone wanting to join (even though i know Rationally it's not scary at all and so very very normal). ah well maybe when i've got the perfect builds for my characters (or can bully my sister into actually playing and ascending to the required level for coop). hope you figured out your mystery in the time it's taken for me to answer (sorry about that, work's a bitch but at least i have a week off now. happy days:))
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fatedsith · 7 months ago
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He can’t help but smile a little; very faintly. Not that it was funny at all that Padmé was conflicted about what she wanted– on the contrary, he hated that she had to push herself aside so frequently, choosing duty over pleasure. She was too serious, always carrying the weight of the world on her shoulders. He knows she can handle it, but that doesn’t make it any less worrisome. Someone as wonderful as she is deserved to have the life she wanted and if you asked Anakin, it wouldn’t be selfish to take what she wanted for once. No one had to know– he would take care of her.
But it amused him, almost in a relieved way, that she was so moved by what he was doing that it pushed her over the edge, making her change her mind. Padmé had turned being level-headed into an art form but yet she couldn’t manage to stay level with him. The thought gives him a thrill; realizing he has an effect on her like he’d initially thought. “I don’t want your apologies,” he shakes his head, a little breathless from her touch. “I just wanted to know what you want, senator,” he teases. “If you were in agony as I was.” Spending time together after their kiss and not tasting her again was torture, even if it was still the happiest torture of his life.
Her words sting a little, because in reality they both know neither of them can stay right here when this is done. It’ll be back to normal once more, Anakin assigned to his next task and Padmé returning to her duties. But that doesn’t mean it has to be the end– he could still see her. They could sneak around…keep their happiness a secret in between responsibilities. The alternative was never having her and Anakin isn’t strong enough for such an outcome. He knows he can’t be rational about her and he said as much when they discussed it.
“You know I’ll stay as much as I can, m’lady,” he breathes against her mouth, her nose pressing against his. It makes his heart race, still in disbelief that she wants to be close like this; their lips almost touching. “I wanted you to agree to sneak around with me…To really do this.” Would she truly break her rules for him? It doesn’t feel real, but her hand stroking him is real, sending waves of pleasure through his body with each movement. 
His full lips press together, pursing in surprise. “You think I would resent you?” he asks in surprise. “I could never resent you…My feelings are real, Padmé. I’ve carried them with me forever, just like I have the Force. Ever since I met you those years ago, I dreamt of you, and it was always like how we were in the meadow. We would talk and laugh…you would look more beautiful than anything in the galaxy.” He pauses, gazing up at her reverently, eyes darkened with equal amounts love and lust. “The world could fall apart and I would still love you– I can promise you that.” He speaks the final words as an answer to her request; making these promises to her in exchange for her heart. “I can’t be rational when it comes to you.”
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He moans softly at the way she speaks to him, eyes fluttering shut for a moment because it’s all too much. Her hand is soft and firm, jerking him off generously as she murmurs a pet name, telling him no one can know she touches him this way. It turns him on and it’s more than any of his fantasies could’ve conjured up, putting him close to the edge already because he’s never even been looked at, much less touched like this. And for her to be so beautiful made it even more challenging, taking his breath away. She suggests they sneak off to the lake to have sex, making his body shiver with pleasure. “No one has to know…I’m your secret, m’lady. Please touch me– I was in agony without it.” He pauses, body shivering because of her touch. “We could have a nice day at the lake… bring your favorite blanket and snacks. Lay out near the water and touch each other until we’ve explored every inch of our bodies.” It sounds like paradise; something so perfect there’s no way it could exist or happen to him, Anakin.
But he’s already having his paradise here, his hand beneath her nightgown, sliding against her bare back. She reacts to it, her breathing changing, becoming shaky. It turns him on even more, knowing he can cause her to react in such a way. She even murmurs words of encouragement, making his entire body flush. He knows he needs more; to get her gown off and touch more of her to get more of this reaction. But she’s kissing him, her lips sliding against his again as if she couldn’t get enough the first time. So he pushes his tongue into her mouth, tasting hers gently, swiping in slowly. One hand tangles in her loose curls, fingers winding into them, pulling a little.
She wants him to make love to her, saying his old nickname so sweetly. He doesn’t know what he’s doing and he’s already about to cum from the way her hand squeezes him, picking up the pace. A choked out moan escapes his full lips, washing against hers because their mouths are still close. “Wait,” he murmurs, his other hand seizing her wrist to make her pause. It takes all of his willpower to get her to stop, because it feels so good he wants to let himself go over the edge. But he wants to pleasure her– what if he lasts an even shorter time if he cums right now? “I want to do it inside of you,” he murmurs, eyes darkening possessively.
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He starts to pull her nightgown off hastily, momentarily causing her to move her hand from his cock as he tugs it off. His breath catches in his throat at the sight of her body, so smooth and beautiful, not clad in anything but her lacy underwear. Her nipples are the same color pink as her beautiful full lips, drawing his attention to the perfect shape of her breasts. “You’re so beautiful,” he murmurs in awe, hardly able to put words to how stunning she is. She’s just as perfect as he always knew she was, with smooth beautiful skin and a gorgeous body.
“May I take these off?” he asks quietly, his fingers slipping beneath the fabric of her panties, starting to tug them already. His other hand slides up her naked back, drawing lazy circles from the bottom to the top, just between her shoulder blades. He drags his fingers against her skin teasingly, watching her beautiful face for a reaction. Sliding his palm down to her lower back, he pushes lightly, as if encouraging her to lay across his chest and kiss him again.
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padme wonders what it would be like if things were different, if they lead different lives in which he wasn't a jedi and she wasn't a senator. would their paths still align? would falling in love be easier than it is? going back to naboo to live out their lives together and no worries on their shoulders other than having to take care of her crops on their farmland. perhaps eventually starting a family...but those are only dreams and dreams are only that. nothing more and she had to push those feelings down just for her own sanity.
but anakin was anything if not persistent, almost to the point it seemed as though he could read her mind and wasn't giving her any other option to resist those feelings. of course he didn't actually plan for her to walk into his room while he was pleasuring himself to the thought of her but everything else leading up to this moment, it was all falling into place and anakin was getting everything he asked for. how unfair was it, that he could be so right and so cute, it's no wonder he wasn't created like your average man because there was nothing average about him even just the beauty of his body showed her that.
"it's not about want anakin, it's about what's right and none of this is right. giving into wants means giving into selfishness... jedi and senators shouldn't be selfish, we both made commitments." she never wanted this, as much as it scared her to admit it saying no to him was one of the hardest things padmé has done. "but pushing you away isn't easy when you're the first thing in my life that's made me feel alive, you make me laugh and smile in ways no one else ever has...but you also give me goosebumps when you touch me....I don't want to be weak but I'm scared if I make you go away I'll regret it for the rest of my life."
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he told her she was beautiful, how he couldn't resist needing to please himself simply because he was near her and that's despite the possibility she just ripped his heart out and stomped on it... there's something attractive about the idea he isn't angry with her for it, that his desires never faded despite her best efforts to push away such fantasy.
he's so cute, almost endearing as he tells her how he can't help himself, saying once again he didn't believe that it's true jedi couldn't love which went directly against what the order themselves would probably tell her but his verison is much more beautiful, a soft smile tugging at the corners of her lips. "and what if he's not wrong? what if I give you everything you wished for and what they say about love is true? I don't think I could live with myself if I made you hate me ani...I don't want you to regret it" it's hard to have a serious conversation as she's watching him touch himself, making her heart pound imnher chest as intense brown eyes watch the way his beautiful fingers stroke himself, eyes flickering to his pink tip as she bites down on her bottom lip.
she can't deny herself of pleasures, being so close to him now she can feel the warmth of his breath against her skin as his hand strokes his cock in need. it's making her feel hot all over, the thin fabric of her nightgown suddenly feeling heavy as she looks down at him. a purr leaving her as she smirks. "and can you make me happy my sweet ani?" she purrs, her hand brushing down his chest and stomach until stopping just above his cock. "could you make it all worth it?" she smiles.
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perhaps he's right, this could destroy them both...not being together but being apart. maybe it's okay to want things, even if it terrifies you. his blue eyes look into padmé's and for a moment she forgets what it feels like to breathe, her desire is burning and it's killing her not to just break free of herself. "secrets don't last forever my love, what happens when they all find out?" she says lowly, almost seductive as she smirks. "would you stay mine forever?"
anakin tells her what he thought about, how he thought about their first kiss and her eyes wonder to his beautiful full lips. a smile tugging at the corners of her lips as she chuckles. "that wasn't just our first kiss but the first time I ever kissed anyone...and...it was the first moment that I knew how I felt about you, the way your fingers felt against my skin...I thought it would be nice for you touch me like that again." she says tracing the exposed skin of his stomach as she lets out a soft hum. "will you touch me like that again anakin?" she wants to hear his praises, know that his need for her is that strong, she wants to be selfish.
padme looks into his eyes for a moment when he apologizes to her, she can't help the soft smile that grows over lips because how could she ever be angry with him? "you don't have to apologize to me " she whispers as her hand moves his out the way, letting her fingers brush against his tip before taking his cock in her hand, gently stroking him as she brushes her lips against his. "I just want you to beg for me like you did by the fire."
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anextrapart · 2 years ago
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How does Kim help Jimmy adjust to being out of prison after so many years inside?
By being on his side just like she's been since the day they met.
One of the wonderful things about Kim No-Middle-Name Wexler is that when she gets invested in something, she goes all in. She advocates for him the entire time he's on the inside, even before they know he'll be getting out. Jimmy is very fortunate that not only does he have this amazing support system in her on a personal level, but he also has a tremendous legal mind who's going to fight (pro-bono) to make sure he's treated as well as he possibly can be in that environment. So while prison is by no means fun or relaxing or particularly pleasant, relatively speaking he has a better go of it than many.
But he's clearly not unaffected by it and so well before Jimmy is scheduled to be released, Kim starts researching how best to help him once he’s out. She reads up on firsthand accounts of people transitioning into normal life after long prison sentences, and chats with a couple of the clients she's friendly with who have spent multiple years in prison. She finds a counselor who can not only work with Jimmy if he wants (she's already talked/written to him about it and he's open to the idea), but can also help guide Kim through supporting him during some of the potential turbulence.
She's really nervous when they first get home to her apartment. Rationally, she knows that Jimmy is just happy to be free and with her, but she so desperately wants this to go well for him that she can't help being anxious.
He's quiet while she shows him around, though they’d been talking almost non-stop since she picked him up. The apartment is smaller than the one she'd had in Albuquerque, but it's comfortable and she's become fond of it.
She shows him the kitchen, where she stocked a few of the items he’d mentioned missing in some of his letters. The bathroom, where there’s a new toothbrush and some basic toiletries on the counter waiting for him. The bedroom, where there’s a few new tees and pairs of socks and boxers in a drawer, a pair of jeans and two brightly colored casual button-downs hanging in a wide cleared space of the closet. New shoes on the floor in his size.
He still hasn’t said anything, 
Kim fidgets. "I didn't want to assume what you'd want, but I figured you'd need to start somewhere."
He reaches out and runs the fabric of one of the shirts between his fingers.
"You did all this for me?"
Oh.
She tries to shrug it off. "It's just shirts and toothpaste."
“It’s not.” He turns to look at her, and she’s relieved to see a small smile on his face. “You know it’s not.”
“You’ve never lived here, but I wanted it to feel like home. At least a little.”
“It does.”
Jimmy pulls her into a hug, bone-crushing, and she wants it tighter, closer. She buries her face in his neck, thinking it might never be enough.
“Thank you,” he whispers.
-
Jimmy doesn’t always sleep well, more prone to light fitful sleeps and nightmares, but it does improve over time. It helps to have Kim there when he wakes up--he can lie awake and listen to her breathing to calm himself down. He usually tries not to wake her, but she made him promise that if it’s ever really bad, he’ll get her up. In the interest of being honest and open, he takes her up on the offer sometimes. He always feels bad and apologizes for disrupting her sleep, but she never gets annoyed with him, just asks if he wants to talk and holds him tight.
In the longterm, there’s an occasional tendency toward stillness in him that he never used to have. It takes some getting used to, but Kim comes to realize that usually it’s just a component of his newfound peace within himself. He’s more able to just settle than he’d been before. Over time she gets really good at reading this new part of him, can tell when he’s content and just sitting quietly, or when he’d benefit from her pushing him a bit to talk through whatever’s going on his head. But sometimes she can tell he’s not ready yet to talk and so rather than pressuring him in that moment, she sends Mabel his way with a tennis ball or a tug toy--few things brighten him up as quickly as their dog, and even if Kim didn’t love the pup in her own right (she does, more than she’d ever expected), she’d love her for that alone.
-
send me mcwexler ideas or prompts for after jimmy gets out of jail and I’ll try to write headcanon/fic stuff!
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astaroth1357 · 4 years ago
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I don’t know if this’ll make the cut, but brothers with an MC wearing their (the brothers) clothes, and I’m talking full ensemble not just a random jacket or accessory (you can delete if you’re not comfortable of course)
So when left with the question of whether this was a full on clothing theft or a cosplay of some kind, I'm going with theft because that's just funnier to me. Just a little MC marching around in Beel's tent of an outfit… Hilarious. 🤭
MC Steals the Brothers’ Outfits
Lucifer 
It started out like any other morning, Lucifer woke up early in bed - as he always does - but when he rolled onto his side to stir the MC, he found their side of the bed empty… 
Normally, he’d have thrown up the alarm in an instant, but his mind was still groggy as he tried to recall what happened the night before… He could have sworn the MC slept over… unless…
MC: “Good morning, love.”
Their voice was enough to get him sitting up again and he uh… well he was not prepared for what he saw. The MC was sitting with their legs crossed at his desk, attempting to imitate his “I’m-in-Complete-Control-Here” energy as much as they possibly could, but with an added detail…
They were wearing his clothes. His favorite suit to be specific which was tailored to his much bigger frame, resulting in a frankly ridiculously ill-fitting look on their smaller human body...
MC: *picks up a poisoned apple off the desk, continuing their very best Lucifer-impression*  “You should get up, love. We have an early meeting today and we can’t keep Lord Diavolo waiting.”
The MC appeared to polish the apple with his sleeve for a moment before taking a bite, looking pleased with themselves before their eyes widened in complete horror. It only took a split second for them to spit the unchewed hunk of apple into a nearby waste basket and toss the apple away in panic.
MC: “Ah FUCK!! I forgot I can’t eat these!!! SHIT!!”
Their panic only grew as Lucifer could no longer hold in his laughter, the booming volume of which is enough to wake up all his brothers throughout the House.
MC: “Lucifer, don’t just sit there laughing!! Bring me some water or something!!! LUCIFER!!!”
Mammon
Look, Mammon always gets up late so not being able to find, like, any of his normal clothes was a serious problem! He’d already dug through half his closest and still couldn’t find anything!!
He had a photoshoot that he had to get to in less than hour and he still needed to take a shower, get dressed, get his stuff together, then bolt halfway across town before-
MC: *literally kicks open his door Kuzco-style* “Yo, yo, yo!! What’s up, Mammon??”
First off, the sudden loud bang of his door hitting the wall nearly scared him out of his skin, but before he could even yell at the MC for their weird entrance his brain had to process what they were wearing….
Good news! He found his missing clothes, the MC had thrown them on while he was sleeping - sunglasses and all - and now stood before him with a toothy grin on their face.
MC: “What's the problem, Mams? Lucifer got your tongu-EEEK!”
Apparently, they weren't expecting Mammon to literally lunge at them and capture them in a tight hug, practically lifting them off their feet with a laugh.
Mammon: “What'cha think your doin', MC?? I'm gonna need those back ya know?”
MC: *laughs loud and bright, throwing their arms around his neck* “I know, I know... But I wanted to surprise you!” *stops laughing suddenly and blinks* “Huh…”
Mammon watched the MC experimentally lift his glasses off their nose then put them back down, repeating the action several times before snickering.
Mammon: *frowns* “What's so funny?”
MC: “Nothing really but… Mammon, do you wear these just to make everything look like gold?”
Mammon actually had to pause before responding, pulling the MC closer with a devilish grin.
Mammon: “Nah… I ‘cause got all the gold I need right here~”
MC: *chuckles and nuzzles his cheek* “Nice save...”
Mammon: *his cheeks flush and he frowns* “I dunno what your talkin’ about... But could ya go put on a t-shirt or somethin’? They’re paying me big for this shoot and I really gotta go!”
Leviathan 
Another convention, another cosplay far too complex to ever hope to peel out of… Though Levi would never regret wearing his five piece Lord of Shadow cosplay, it’s a heavy thing and certainly not something he can change out of in a bathroom stall…
When he finally got back to the House, he wasn’t looking to do anything but drag his tired body back to his room and change into some more manageable clothes… but… well…
When Levi opened his door, he saw the MC sitting alone at his computer desk playing a game by themselves. That was all well and good but… WHY IN DIAVOLO’S BLACK HELL ARE THEY WEARING HIS CLOTHES???
When they heard the door, the MC whipped their head back and they both stared at each other in an awkward silence… His clothes didn’t even fit them right!-or maybe they did?? His mind was panicking because they had the collar of his shirt covering their mouth and it looked so moe it was actually ridiculous!
Levi: ……….
MC: ………….
MC: …. “I can explain.”
Levi: ……. “Y-yea?”
MC: “I was having trouble on this one level and you wouldn’t pick up the phone… so I thought ‘What would Levi do?’... and it escalated…”
Levi: “You think??”
Levi felt like he could die right there, but he wasn’t entirely sure if it was from embarrassment or happiness… On the one hand, the MC was  literally trying to be him in order to get better at video games - which was flatteringly adorable… And on the other, the MC is pretty much cosplaying as him, right in front of him… and looked so damn cute doing it too… 
MC: “Is this weird…? This is weird. I’m sorry, I’ll go change-”
Levi: NO-agh! *he throws a hand over his own mouth, surprised by how loud he just shouted* … “U-uh… no it’s fine…”
MC: “Okay...?”
MC: “But could you put your phone down? I think you’ve been taking pictures for the past two minutes…”
Levi looked down at his hand and sure enough he unconsciously pulled out his phone in camera mode and has been spamming the “Capture” button long enough to have his thumb cramping...
Levi: “Oh.” *stops for a moment, then seems to second guess himself*
Levi: “Uh… just one more?”
Satan
When you share a house with Mammon, you grow accustomed to not being able to find things from time to time, but an entire outfit?? 
When he woke up one morning to find that he couldn't find any of his normal clothes, he blamed Mammon right off the bat… 
I guess in hindsight, what would Mammon want with his jacket? But anger doesn't always jump to the most rational conclusion, you know?
After searching for "long enough," Satan stormed out of his bedroom on a warpath. He didn't stop his march until he was banging on Mammon’s door with a closed fist!
Satan: “Mammon!! What did you do with my clothes you useless, money-grubbing asshole!?”
When he didn’t get a reply, likely because Mammon was hiding in his closet or something, he was about to kick the door in when he felt a tap on his shoulder...
When he turned his head, much to his surprise, he found his missing clothes!... They were on the MC - right down to the single sleeve - and the MC met his eyes with a mischievous grin…
They had a book in their hands he recalled seeing once at the library: "101 Ways to Prank Your Partner," open like they'd been reading down the hallway.
MC: … Page 47.
They winked at him before bolting back down the hallway in a fit of giggles and oooh, it was on now.
Satan spent the morning chasing the MC through the House, both laughing and dashing around in reckless abandon. He really needed his clothes back and he wouldn’t mind an extra hour or two with the MC when he got them… 😏
Asmodeus 
Asmo isn’t exactly a morning person… Though he forces himself awake so he can perform his wake-up routine, by the time he comes to the table it’s a hit-or-miss on how irritable he’s going to be...
Of course, his favorite outfit suddenly disappearing from his massive closet did not help his mood in the slightest!
Who would take his clothes?? Well, that’s not even a question - surely plenty of his devoted, adoring stans would kill to even have his scarf, so maybe the better question was, “How??” Lucifer keeps all the doors and windows magically sealed at night! (He would know, having been locked out on numerous occasions)
Asmo was tearing through his closet, wracking his brain for any place he might have left his beloved outfit, before he heard someone clear their throat by his bedroom door.
What greeted him was a lovely look at the MC wearing the missing clothing in question, even with all the grace and style he would himself!
Asmo: *jaw-drops* “MC???”
MC: *smirks at his delight and winks at him* “Looking for something?”
They strutted into the room with the confidence of a mock fashion model and took a silly vogue pose in front of the closet, barely holding in a fit of laughter from their actions.
MC: “… Or just at me?”
Asmo, of course, snatched them right up in his arms with a delighted squeal.
Asmo: “Oh. My. Diavolo!! MC, you look just gorgeous!!!- Because you look like me, of course.” 🤭
MC: *laughs and cups his cheeks to pull him closer* “Who wouldn't want to be you, Asmo?”
Asmo: “So true… But you’re already perfect, my love~” 😘
And he went on to prove that to them all morning long...
Beelzebub 
Beel didn't even get the chance to notice his clothes were missing. He had a tournament the night before and was sleeping even harder than Belphie that morning...
What woke him up was the smell of food: scrambled shadowhawk eggs, hellboar bacon, pancakes with nightshade syrup…. 
Beel's stomach had him sitting up long before his eyes ever opened, drawn in by his nose alone.
MC: “Beeeeel. Wake up!”
Beel's eyes dragged open at their request and what he found had his mouth watering... The MC had brought him a dining cart with a complete breakfast spread, brimming with portions only Beel could ever finish, but for once he wasn’t looking at the food.
The MC, for whatever reason, had decided to put on his clothes… And keep in mind that Beel's built like an ox compared to almost anybody. They were absolutely swimming under all that fabric (thank the Devil for his suspenders…) 
MC: “Congratulations!!!”
They throw their arms up excitedly, making the unzipped jacket balloon out like a parachute behind them… It's a remarkably cute image.
Beel: *blinks* “Oh.” *he gets a little pink, still very confused* “What did I do exactly…?”
MC: “You won the championship last night, remember? Or did you forget already??”
The MC takes a step to the side and begins pointing at the plates on the cart.
MC: “I thought we'd celebrate with some breakfast! I brought you eggs, bacon, pancakes, toast, cereal-”
As they continued their list, Beel's hand naturally reached out towards the cart eagerly, before something finally clicked in his head. WHY were they wearing his clothes??
Beel: “Wait. MC, why are you wearing-...?”
MC *holds their hand up* “Hold on!”
MC: “-oatmeal, muffins, banana bread, annnd…” *they get onto the bed and plop down onto his lap with a grin*
MC: “Me! Congratulations, Beel!!”
They lean up to peck his cheek while his arms automatically wind around their waist. The combination of their scents already bringing out a different sort of hunger in him…
Let’s say if this is his reward, he'll never lose a game again. 😏
Belphegor 
Belphie was in the middle of his afterschool nap in the library. The day was exhausting, so he didn’t even bother changing uniforms… The couches there were comfortable and the space was quiet, really nothing should have woken him up...
But somehow, for whatever reason, something did. A tug… Something was chasing away his dreams by tugging on the cow pillow in his arms.
MC: “Beeelllppphie….”
The tugging did not cease and he half growled in response, still keeping his eyes firmly closed.
Belphie: “What now...?”
MC: “I need this…” *they tug on the corner of the pillow a little harder* “Can you let go please…?”
What kind of question is that?? No one takes away his favorite pillow!
Belphie: *hugs the pillow tighter* “Go away, I'm trying to nap…”
MC: “Noooo please…! I need it for something right now…!!”
They started really pulling on his pillow now and he only held on tighter in annoyance. Since they wouldn’t leave him alone, he finally opened his eyes.
Belphie: “MC! Why are… you..?”
His voice trailed off as he finally saw the MC standing there in his usual outfit. His cardigan was so long over their arms that they had to grasp his pillow through its sleeves...
While his drowsy mind tried to catch up, the MC snatched the pillow from his grasp with one swift yank.
MC: *grins* “Mine now!”
They turned to bolt out of the library, but Belphie snatched them by the waist and dragged them back to the couch with him.
Belphie: “Fine, but then I get a new pillow.” 😏
The MC yelped as he flopped on top of them, pulling them close like a body pillow and resting his head into the crook of their neck to enjoy the soothing smell of their scent mixed with his.
MC: “W-wait Belphie…!” *tries to wiggle out from under his surprisingly heavy deadweight* “I was just playing around…! Please don't fall asleep on me!!”
Belphie: *yawns and settles in, already drifting off* “Too late… G'night, MC…”
MC: “Belphie!!!” 😫
They could complain all they liked, he wasn’t going to let them go for a few hours. Cute or not, MC, nobody takes his pillow!
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reina-santiago · 2 years ago
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Reina had never really considered herself a therapeutic communicator. She was blunt, and from what she’d been told, bitchy, but…she was real. She’d never been the type to say anything she didn’t mean or sugarcoat the ugly details to help soften the blow. Some blows didn’t need softening, otherwise what was anyone supposed to take away from them? But in the same vein, Reina also didn’t believe in toning down praise when someone truly deserved it the way Nate did. He was a good man and he’d never given her a reason to think otherwise. “Good, but what’s important is that you believe it too,” she pointed out, hoping he’d use what she said as encouragement to take that first crucial step into his new normal. She had all the confidence in the world that he’d do right by his daughter, no matter how awkward the circumstances were. She sighed softly, folding her hands together to keep them from fidgeting with a reflexive need for a cigarette as she mulled over Nate’s question. Perhaps it was a bit of both, guilt and fear. Guilt because she hadn’t been able to do more for Wes and fear that she’d relive the same nightmare with Rio one day. “I think it’s a little bit of both,” she admitted, shrugging her shoulders, “And I think a lot of it is that I’ve never met anyone who’s made me want to try to move past that fear until now, and I have no idea what to do with that.” She’d spent so many years not confronting it, at least not in a healthy way, and now she wasn’t sure how to. But maybe it was like Nate said– she needed to talk about it until it no longer felt like a barrier, just a memory. “Just feels wrong, I guess– me moving on while he’ll never get the chance to.” Scoffing softly beneath her breath, Reina shook her head, already hating the way that confession sounded once it hit the air between them, “I know that sounds stupid.” But she’d never claimed to approach matters of heart rationally, because she never had. “But even before Wes, I was afraid of commitment. I guess it’s just this fear of not being enough, you know?” Perhaps it stemmed back to her years in foster care, that fear of not ever measuring up and being tossed aside simply because of it. She didn’t know what to call it, but if the thought of committing to someone else was a hurdle she still didn’t know how to leap over, perhaps she needed to look at it as finally committing herself to her own happiness. It felt good, hearing Nate say that she deserved that, particularly when Reina had never counted herself as deserving much of anything, least of all the level of happiness she knew Rio could bring her. “I do want to be happy, and I know I would be with this man. It’s just me,” she chuckled softly, knowing full well that she was getting in her own way, per usual. “He hasn’t run yet though, not even when my brother was stalking us, so I guess that’s gotta count for something,” she mused aloud, rolling her eyes. Pursing her lips, she glanced across at Nate, waiting for his reaction to that little tidbit, “Oh yeah– forgot to mention that little detail.”
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He nods lightly, showing that he was listening, that he was taking in what she was saying. He also knew that showing up was his first step. That was thanks to Cole, to Taliah, now Reina. He wouldn't ever dream of doing the opposite. What sort of person would? Smiling he soon started laughing softly as she quirked her brow in his direction, something about her saying she wouldn't blow anything up anyone's ass tickled him. "Okay... well I appreciate it," he chuckled, feeling at least ten times more relaxed now than when he first set eyes on her. It was strange to him how in the space of mere days he had a bombshell dropped at his feet and in that same space, been picked up by those he loved. He'd do the same to anyone else, sure, it just hit differently being the one told how good you were. It was overwhelming.
Resting his elbow on the table before him, he places his chin on top of his hand, letting Reina speak whatever she needed to. Not minding the change of subject because at the end of the day, Nate cared immensely about the people around him and if there was a way that he could help, he would. He could only imagine what being here felt like for her, especially when it had been literal years since she had last been in here. It was bound to bring up memories, more so the last ones ever made between her and Wes. Even for Nate his thoughts were clouded by the sight of Wes's body that night. It tainted all the good because it stuck. Hearing her say she was in a position to move on brought the faintest smile to his expression, there's a small warmth behind his eyes because that was a good thing. At least he thought so.
"Do you think you're talkin' yourself outta it because you feel guilty or because you don't wanna be in that position again?" where whoever she saw potential in, would just drop down dead without any warning. "Because I can tell you that Wes would want you to be happy, you went through a lot," coming out the bathroom and seeing the man you love dying and be unable to help, was enough to cement trauma on anyone's brain. "and that's never gonna go away, the most you can do is talk about it until it doesn't hold you back anymore." which it still clearly was. "I know what it's like to hold yourself back because of your own fears, y'know it's not healthy. Can't odds it either," the same thing happening again, "So why hold yourself back? Sometimes gettin' over a fear means jumpin' straight through it and if you think the person you wanna build somethin' with can keep you upright, don't lose that. You've been through so much, Reina, you should let yourself be happy." which he meant with his whole heart. "And y'know what? I think it's time you start seein' that."
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inamindfarfaraway · 3 years ago
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Things I Like About Pixar’s Luca
The atmosphere and aesthetic of both the human town and the underwater one are endearing and immersive. They’re both delightful settings, instead of being compared in opposition to each other. It’s truly a gift that sea monsters can experience both worlds.
The sea monsters (calling them monsters sounds rude - sea people? Sea folk?) make a concept that’s been done over and over again seem new. The attention to detail like each head fin becoming a lock of hair; the vivid colour schemes that mirror those of sea creatures; that only the wet parts of their bodies transform back to normal; the gorgeous animation of the transformations, with the water wetting and drying naturally. I never thought I’d be admiring the pattern in which water dries on someone’s back, but that’s Pixar for you.
The prejudice isn’t portrayed in a one-note ‘humans are inherently bad/judgemental’ way, but realistically. The townsfolk are afraid of sea monsters the way you’d be afraid of sharks - as unintelligent, feral animals. Like with sharks, the violence toward them is largely unprovoked and disproportional, since they hold no ill will of their own toward humans unless it’s reactionary and are content to stay out of their way, but you still get where the townsfolk are coming from. Especially having built fear and superstition of these ‘creatures’ deeply into their local culture and everyday lives. But they all get to know and trust Luca and Alberto as people, not just the Marcovaldos. For example, we see some of the kids cheer Luca on in the background as he does cycling training, and snicker when he insults their persecutor. The boys are children, like any other children. So when they transform in public, it’s shocking, yes, but they still move and talk and act the same way because they’re the same people, clear as day. Not monsters, not even animals. They feel fear and love and anger just like humans do. They’ve been living among them for, what, several weeks? And not hurt anyone. Then the Paguros appear and they are so viscerally parents, reuniting with their son. That’s a lot of hard evidence in the sea people’s favour, on both a rational and emotional level. Humans are on the whole very empathetic and love anthropomorphizing and connecting with non-human creatures; plenty of us would jump at the chance to welcome a species of confirmed equal intelligence. Neither the prejudice nor the acceptance feels unnatural. Even the happy ending acknowledges some will never accept them, but some will. That’s how it always has been and will be, in every society.
Luca is a strong, likeable protagonist. He’s relatable, the naive everyman next to an incredibly vibrant deuteragonist and tritagonist, but still has a lot of personality. He’s funny and adorable. I love his gradual arc of overcoming his multiple self-limitations. I love the way his ideals and desires evolve naturally as he starts to find himself and mature. First he wants to escape his problems, to be free and independent without really understanding what it means. By the end he’s putting in the work to repair and maintain his relationships with Alberto, Giulla and his parents. I love him realizing that although what he has with Alberto is wonderful and liberating and he needs it, it isn’t the only thing he needs or wants from life and the surface, that he shouldn’t put his friend on a pedestal or have to sacrifice his long-term happiness to please him. As someone who keenly enjoys learning, I love his blossoming zest for knowledge and discovering his own interests. Good luck in school, Luca! This is set in the 1960s, right? Oh, you’re gonna go insane when you watch the moon landing.
Give him ALL THE HUGS.
“Land monsters!” Yep, that’s humanity alright.
Huh. Walking really is just falling forward on one leg and catching yourself with the other over and over.
“Goodbye. Forever.” [Three and a half hours later] “See you tomorrow!”
I can understand thinking the stars are fish. They’re small shiny things in a big blue/black expanse that appear to swim away with the dawn. But Alberto saying with complete conviction that they’re specifically anchovies, of all fish, is so funny.
The boys hear a sailor be passed by another, wave at him and call to him, “What’s wrong with you, stupido?” They come to the completely logical conclusion that the phrase is a human greeting.
“Yeah, I’m kind of an expert on human towns.” “Have you ever been to the human town?” “No…”
How the Vespa picture is symbolic of Luca and Alberto’s friendship. First a rough sketch, it becomes coloured and more detailed during their time on the island. The addition of the telescope and Alberto’s unwillingness to understand it shows the cracks from Luca branching out, the rip shows the schism and finally it’s taped back together.
The scenes in Luca’s imagination. They capture the wonder of his mind and illustrate his thought process.
His grandmother being supportive of his curiosity. Just in general, she’s cool.
The casual reveal that she goes to the town every weekend, and the elderly sisters live there full time. Though the younger generation is bolder and more open about it, these different people have always existed in ‘normal’ society, because they are normal and deserve to live as such. Interpret that how you want.
Uncle Ugo. “You can’t stop it. If you open your mouth, the whale carcass will get in. Very good, would recommend…”
Giullia is amazing. Brave, passionate, clever, funny. Staunchly devoted to her ideals. Quirky in her own way (she swears with cheeses!), yet also the more boys’ down-to-earth guide to Portorosso and human life. Her vendetta against Ercole and never once considering giving up her fight against his “empire of injustice”. Her love of astronomy equal to Luca’s. That she has her share of insecurities, but is nonetheless confident and secure in herself enough to want to win the race purely to prove she can. I see a lot of myself in her - or who I want to be - and would love to be her friend, so the implication that she didn’t have any real friends in Portorosso before the boys and may not have many in Genova either is heartbreaking. Her worry she’s too much is very relatable. Does anyone else get autistic vibes from her? I very much do.
Give her ALL THE HUGS.
“I didn’t quit, they made me stop.”
The narrative and characters don’t dwell unnecessarily on Giulia’s parents’ divorce and separate living situation.
The Underdog’s friendship. Have I mentioned I adore dynamics built on outcast solidarity? Because I absolutely adore dynamics built on outcast solidarity.
Ercole is a refreshingly good archetypical bully. No tragic backstory, no rushed redemption. Just a pompous, immature teenager who derives pleasure from the suffering and subjugation of others. He’s petty enough to order his lackeys to slap each other “with contempt” for him and ruthless enough to enthusiastically attempt to murder two children just because they’re different. Despite his simplicity, he’s never quite unbelievably evil. The murder thing is a little jarring, but it’s a very fast and reckless decision, he doesn’t seem to comprehend the true consequences of it. Some people are like that - worthy of being called “land monsters”.
The Underdogs fracturing his reign of tyranny even before he gets his proper comeuppance, with it demonstrated from his first scene everyone else in town already can’t stand him, they just can’t defy him effectively.
Luca and Alberto’s friendship is cemented and broken by the sea at sunset.
While everything about them makes much more sense in hindsight, Giulia doesn’t even suspect Luca and Alberto were sea monsters until she sees the latter transform. She meets two runaways who have no (at least by land standards) formal education; no knowledge of the most basic societal customs, like money and eating with cutlery; think the stars are fish; are paranoid about getting wet; and won’t tell her anything of their pasts or families. And she just rolls with it. Hey, weird kids gotta stick together!
On the same note, her not bearing any prejudice toward them after the reveal. She doesn’t even seem that angry they lied to her. She’s grown up listening to Massimo and the other townsfolk’s anti-sea monster sentiments, but her sole thought is to be concerned for her friends’ safety.
The scene that reveals Alberto’s father abandoned him explains so much without a lot of spoken explanation. Show, don’t tell and all that. The lack of any adult supervision in Alberto’s life was already suspicious - given he spends his days stealing from murderous humans, jumping off of tall structures and staring directly at the sun he’s obviously in dire need of it - but there’s something so cold about his father just… leaving. We never hear his personal reasons for it, because there’s nothing reasonable about this. And we don’t hear anything about a mother. Alberto’s entire character is put in perspective. No wonder he was possessive and controlling of Luca. He’s been alone for so long, friendship, respect and admiration are gold dust to him. No wonder he’s constantly telling his fears and doubts to shut up. You realize that every second of every day his dad doesn’t come back, he has to tune out the constant worry that he’s a nuisance. A burden. A waste of space. Why else would your own father not even want you? Any minute now Luca will see you’re just dragging him down and leave too -
Give him ALL THE HUGS. And his dad ALL THE PUNCHES.
Which makes Luca telling him, “Silenzio, Bruno!” really powerful. Oh my God, what if his dad’s name is Bruno? This implies he was emotionally and verbally abusive before he walked out.
Luca’s parents are flawed and make mistakes that contribute to the rift between them and their son, but are still well-intentioned and only want the best for him, and are willing to admit their faults and change. I’m always a fan of realistic good parents and nuanced parental relationships in fiction.
Massimo is such a good dad! I like that they set him up to be the cliché ‘gruff, intimidating father’ and ‘scarred, bitter disabled person’ but he’s loving, sensible, wise, kind and fair. He’s introduced extremely dedicated to sea monster hunting. Yet it becomes apparent that’s a manifestation of his protectiveness of his family and community, not bloodlust or ambition, so of course he chooses peace and the expansion of the town’s community in the climax. You can tell Giulla’s modelled her heroic values on his. His missing arm is accepted and acknowledged as a part of his identity, but it’s shown how he lives with it fine and it doesn’t make him a tragedy or an ultra-competent martyr.
Machiavelli! Fluffy baby. Chunky cat. Very good boy. Who’s a good cat? You’re a good cat! Yes, you are! Yes - [clears throat]. His rightful suspicion of the boys and them gradually winning him over with fish is hilarious.
Technically, there’s no rule that says a sea monster can’t win the Portorosso Cup!
Though isn’t given much focus, that Giulia isn’t the least bit annoyed Luca and Alberto win instead of her. Winning and dethroning Ercole was her drive every summer for the last five years. But she’s nothing but proud of her friends. It’s that security in her identity again. This is a prime example of why I admire Giulia.
In the end, the real Vespa was the friendship they found along the way.
Massimo adopting Alberto! So sweet and cathartic.
“You got me off the island, Luca. I’m okay.”
The music throughout. Especially when the theme kicks in at the end as the train moves away and the sun breaks through the clouds.
The pictures in the credits of each fish boy thriving in his new life and the Underdogs keeping in touch!
Alberto gushing over Massimo’s knives and being told he can’t handle any -> Massimo giving him a knife for his birthday in the credits.
Kittens! I thought Machiavelli couldn’t get any better and I was so wrong.
Oh, Massimo’s wife is a dog person. No wonder they divorced.
A lot of the fandom ships Luca and Alberto, and yeah, the chemistry is definitely there. Giulia is Luca’s BFF and Alberto’s sister. But if you want a romance, these two boys would work very well together as a couple. Since they’re children and fish people, would their ship name be Guppy Love?
Please watch this movie. It’s ‘for kids’ in the best sense of the word; for the child inside all of us, however old we are on the outside. It’s warm and funny and beautiful. It addresses difficult subjects in a mature way and has valuable lessons that don’t feel preachy or forced. This movie is like a supremely delicious chocolate sponge cake: light, fluffy, sweet, just grounded enough in its richness but not weighed down by it, simple without lacking anything.
But what does the handshake phrase mean?!
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rcksmith · 4 years ago
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I want to do bad things with you — Five Hargreeves
Request: “6 from fluff and 4 and 8 from smut list for five hargreeves?”
Fluff Prompts:
6. “I’m going to marry you one day.”
Smut Prompts;
4. “Are you sure that’s what you want? I could really hurt you.”
8. “I don’t care how good it feels you’d better not cum until I tell you to.”
A/N: We not tolerate any pedophilia here !!
I write about Five with their 20s. I write the same about the characters of Harry Potter.
I hope it got close to what you wanted. ❤️ This is a heavy smut, I was in a bad mood, sorry jsnsjsnsjsn.
Guys, I really understand who doesn't feel comfortable reading or writing Five's smut. But I always say that I only write with him (any genre: romance, fluff or angst) with the notion that Five is 20 years old here. All of my fanfics mention swearing or sex, even if it is a memory or something shallow, but as I am writing with Five as an adult, it is consistent that the fic has aspects of an adult life.//
English is not my first language, so I so sorry if have a mistake.
Requests are open. Love you ❤️
Couple: Five Hargreeves / Fem! Reader.
Warnings: SMUT, SMUT, bad words and bad smuut.
— — — — —
Five Hargreeves were many adjectives. Genius, superhero, handsome, dangerous, sinic, arrogant, born leader, among other things. His energy was intense and mysterious, and looking him for too long was like facing the stormy sea: dangerous and risky, but extremely fascinating.
He carried many adjectives on his back, is truth, and domineering was one of them. His life was a constant line of stress, problems and exasperation, Five felt irritated most of the time, so relieving all that stress in sex was... it was fucking good.
Normally, his emotions were always on a tight leash, under iron control. Five was composed, controlled, taking everything rationally. Even in sex, when he vented all his anger, he was conscious. Until you show up.
You were a little, sweet, lyrical little thing and... fuck, you had an angel face that made Five clench his jaw as soon as he laid eyes on you. And then controlling yourself became a much more difficult task. You had a cunning, catlike look, but an face so pure that it hooked Five into the his soul.
He couldn't get involved with you, he repeated that every fucking day. Five could barely look in your direction without wanting to hold your angel face and kiss you with the fury of hell. Five wanted to fold you in front of him, slap your ass until you blush and hear you whimpering his name. He wanted to do all the dark things in his mind to break your doll energy.
Five Hargreeves was many things, but the irony of all was how they swayed when he fell in love with you. It was inevitable. Over the months, while trying to control his thoughts, he found himself admiring your intelligence and sense of humor. He started to notice how you loved sweet tea and had headaches when you had coffee, which is why he started to leave a migraine medicine in the kitchen if you needed to.
With the days, Five now hid his smile when you laughed at something stupid and admired how the world seemed sweeter when you were happy.
And that's when he kissed you. And his whole view changed. When he held your face between his hands and tasted your lips, Five felt like he was touching Egyptian crystal, and then the urge to protect you was born. He didn't want anything or anyone to hurt you, anyway. Five touched you so delicately and made sure that nothing bothered you.
So that's when you two slept together. Fuck, it was so fucking hard for him. Extraordinarily difficult because Five wanted to make you scream and fuck you so hard. It was difficult as hell because he wanted to hit your ass and thigh so hard that he could see the marks tomorrow. And... son of a bitch, even though you moaned and squirmed, you looked like a fucking angel. And the desire to desecrate something so pure became even bigger.
And that was why he avoided touching you during those hours. He kept his hands on the mattress, on the headboard, on the walls or on the pillows, avoided touching you as much as possible. Because Five knew... it was already too hard not to fuck you rough, hard and intense, if he touched you... it would be the end. He didn't even want to kiss you too much, or suck on your skin, because one thing would lead to another and... God, you fucked his mind!
It was after a few months that he realized he loved you. And your relationship will become even more serious.
"I love you so much.” You whispered on his lips one day, with the cold and rain falling outside, and you curled in him up like a pet.
Five nodded, him lips on you forehead, brushing them there as appreciated what that phrase did to him. You two had already said that a few months ago, but you loved to keep repeating it and Five appreciated how right the universe felt when you said that.
“I'm going to marry you one day.” He sighed through your hair, lowering lips to yours before receiving your ecstatic and passionate screams.
But the more love grew in you two, the more hunger, lust and sin grew within Five too. Was like a wild beast, hitting the bars of the cage, almost breaking what kept under control. And controlle herself started to be physically painful. So he tried to put out that blazing fire.
Seeing you naked has become excruciating torture. Five fidgeted uneasily whenever you changed in front of him, took off the towel after a shower. But the worst was when you two had sex. Fucking you, feeling you pulsing, squirming, totally submissive to his whims, made Five have to acquire phenomenal self-control. Although Five exhibited a cold, arrogant and confident personality, everything inside him became a boiling volcano when you appeared.
“Baby…” That was when Five heard you purring, you had just come out of the shower, a short white towel covering your body.
When Five looked at you, and saw you walking towards him, he pulse reached alarming levels. Normally, Five always managed to keep his impulses under control, even though it was an overwhelming endeavor. But not today.
Oh, he was far from being in control. Your doe eyes looked at him docilely and Five felt again the overwhelming appetite to take you so badly.
God, he needed to break you…
You didn't make it easy for Five either. Oblivious to the internal battle within him, you sat on his lap, supporting your legs on either side of his hips, with the towel rising to the top of your thighs and your bare skin sitting on his already pulsating member.
Five snarled softly, hands tightly squeezing the bed sheet, your body pulsing beneath his. He felt hot as if were in the Sahara desert.
“You are so tense.” Your voice was velvety, soft, and you brought your lips to his neck. And that was too much.
“Y/N..” Was a warning.
“Something wrong?” You pulled your face back enough to look at him.
Five shook his head, hands still clutching the sheets. You followed that gesture with your eyes, and started connecting the pieces second by second.
It was no longer today that your felt him controlling himself. Moments he didn't want to touch you at all while he fucked you, like you were a hot iron. Days when he forced a little more force into the way he kissed you and then completely backed down.
“I've been noticing a few things lately...” You commented, the left index finger playing with his uniform “I noticed that you have ... controlled yourself, as if you were holding something.”
And then you looked into his eyes, and what you saw in the green sockets was a lust so fervent that you felt yourself losing breath.
“Y/N...” the voice was still hoarse, a ring signaling his warning as well “I ... I won't be able to talk about this with you.”
“Why not?” You didn't know exactly what the problem was, how deep it went, but you knew something was going on. “I did something? Or are you more stressed? ”
“You did not do anything.” He assured you, and as he saw in your eyes that you would not let the matter pass, because you were determined as hell, Five sighed deeply. “It with me. It has nothing to do with you, I just... I like to do more... rough things. "
You were watching him closely, the direction of the conversation was pleasing to you... It wasn't today that you knew your own tastes, and something brutalized and stronger was exactly what you liked. But Five was always so controlled, so reserved, that you were still looking for an opening to bring it up.
Five must have noticed that your eyes took on a different glow, and he looked at you as if he suspected.
“Why that look?” His little corner smile made you smile too.
“ I didn't know you liked things like that.” Five raised an eyebrow at you, the little smile still on his face. “Is that why you have been controlling yourself?”
Five had to take a deep breath, hands going to your waist under the towel, in a soft, controlled touch. But his hands were stiff, you felt it.
“I do not want to hurt you.” He was succinct “I have more aggressive, brutal desires, and I don't want to take it out on you.”
Oh, you were really enjoying the conversation.
You let out a low chuckle, playing with your index finger on the lapel of his uniform.
“Like ... hit me and stuff?” Then you felt his grip tighten on your waist, his jaw tighten.
Five looked at you with a clear warning that you were walking in rough waters. That it was better for you to stop here. He could barely cope with his own thoughts about it, let alone hear you say those things with that fucking angelic voice of yours.
"What if I wanted to?” Now your eyes were bright with amusement and anticipation.
“You can't tell me these things” His grip got stronger, his eyes more fierce, the energy more irritable “Even more naked in my lap.”
Five might be covered in clothes, but he could feel your hot pussy under him, the soft skin of your thighs around his waist, your breasts a touch away... Damn, it was too much for him!
“I mean it.” You ran your fingers through his hair, resting your hands behind the back of his neck. “I like something hard too, if you are willing to try this on me, I would like us to do it. You are always so focused... I would love to see you more out of control. ”
Five kept his eyes on you, as if he were looking for some hesitation in you. But he found none. Just shared desire.
God help him.
“Are you sure that’s what you want? I could really hurt you.” He wanted to warn you, he wanted you to know it was a path of no return. Five could destroy you and him wanted you to know that.
“Yes.” You agreed “I want it so much.”
Suddenly, something in the air seemed to change. Everything became rarer, more caustic and crackling. Five's intensity had reached extremely high levels and he looked at you as if you were the prey on a night hunt. Five pulled harder on your towel, freeing your naked body. He gasped, his eyes fixed on you.
“Say red when you want me to stop.”
You were going to say something, but he didn't give you a chance. His hungry lips stuck to yours. It was a controlling kiss, drowning out you surprised moan. Five stood with you on his lap and threw you on your back on the mattress. You gasped, your naked body exposed on his bed, given over to all the profane fantasies he had in mind. Seeing you there, submissive, destroyed all the control he had.
Oh he was going to destroy you.
Five remained standing, pulled your legs over the edge of the bed and opened them aggressively. You let out a heavy breath, the core pulsing. God, seeing that made him rock hard.
Five leaned over your body, pressing his lips in you before moving to your breasts, sucking on aching nipple, squeezing the other in a heavy touch. His hands left you for a second before him straightened up and removed he blazer and sweater from the academy, his nimble hands pulled the tie knot fiercely, tearing the piece of silk from his neck.
“Be quiet for me, dear.” Five put your hands together, tying your fists with the tie and tying the tie to the headboard.
You bit your lip, your body fidgeting for him, the core throbbing. Five had barely touched you and you were already pulsing for him.
“You are so needy.”
Without warning, he was leaning over you, him lips on yours, his hands roaming your body in a rough touch, his mouth pinching your lips. And everything started to get heavy after that point. Five closed his mouth on your neck, leaving a trail of purple hickeys as he brought two fingers to your mouth.
You took them in, sucking without waiting for an order. But his fingers on your mouth seemed to have an even more exciting effect for you. You legs closed, wanting to seek any friction, but Five slapped your left thigh roughly, brutally separating them with his free hand.
“Did I tell you to close your legs?!” You whimpered, and he gave you another slap “Answer!”
“N-no...” You did your best to speak with his fingers in your mouth.
“No what?!” Another slap. Now you could feel the flesh throbbing. You pulled on your fists, trying to control yourself not to close your thighs again.
“N-didn't”
Now his free hand went to your chin, forcing you to look at him.
“It's ‘No, Daddy’!”
“No, Daddy!”
“Good Girl.”
Five withdrew his hand from your mouth, bringing it down and melting it into your pussy. You moaned louder, forcing the tie, shifting your hips. He didn't give you time to breathe before he buried his fingers in you, hitting your walls.
You screeched muffled by his lips on your, as his hand pushed against you frantically, slamming inside you at a brutal pace.
“F-fi...”
Another slap. Stronger, more aggressive.
“What did fucking you say?!”
“Daddy! I mean Daddy! I’m so sorry.”
He accelerated his hand even more, and you started frantically pulling on the tie, trying to get rid of or gain more of that ardor. You were starting to feel close to orgasms when Five pulled away, slapping your bare breast as he rose again. You whimpered in protest, your hips still making some movements in search of some ghost friction.
“Look at you, so desperate and I haven't even fucked you yet.” Five began to unbutton his white shirt, stripping off his clothes and leaving the belt beside you.
You excitement went to extremely high levels when you saw his cock jump out. Pulsating, molasses with pre-cum and dashed with thick veins. Your core throbbed, dripping your liquid while you whimpered.
Five smirked when he noticed where your attention was, and he leaned you, but now bringing the belt with him and placing it around your neck.
God, he was going to fuck you so hard.
Five gave a tug, testing the accuracy, and when you groaned needy, Five appeased his own excitement by sinking his bruised lips into yours.
He stood up again, pulling your legs closer to the edge as he brushed your pussy with the throbbing head of the stick, watching you squirm. It was torture for him too, but the sight of you struggling for contact was a fucking reward.
“Please d-Daddy!” You whimpered, rummaging in despair, wanting more of anything he give you.
“Please, what? ‘Please, daddy, fuck me hard’ or ‘please, daddy, use me’ ?”
You were begging, with tears in the corners of your eyes as he played with you, by sinking the head of the stick inside you. It was driving you crazy. Five held the base of him penis while he sank just another inch into you, then pulled and rubbed your clitoris.
“Fuck me h-hard, Daddy!”
Suddenly, Five entered you brutally to the bottom, leaving you speechless in a loud and silent groan. He pulled you by the belt, not giving you time to get used to the size, he established strong and aggressive blows.
“Do you want hard?! I will give you hard!”
Then Five untied the tie from the headboard, turned you brutally on you stomach and pulled your hips up. He pulled his hand back and unloaded it on your ass, and you screamed, staggering forward. Five pulled you by the hips, dissatisfied with your distance.
“Be good girl for me, dear." It was an order.
You obeyed, crying out loudly when Five pushed the stick inside you aggressively, pulling on your neck with the belt. He held you by the belt and the waist while he fucked you. Hard, fast, without any abandonment.
His hand hit the flesh of your ass from second to second, and you can't help but moan for it. He gave no respite, the sound of his bodies colliding flooded the room, perhaps the entire mansion.
Five has never felt so hardcore in life, so hungry, so lust. He wanted to break you, hurt you, squeeze your flesh so hard that you would be left with marks for months. He groaned, trying to concentrate on mistreating the walls of your pussy, pounding with brutality, harder and cruel.
“D-d-daddy!”
Tears streamed into your eyes as you dug your nails into the pillow hard, unable to contain the moans and the tremor in your thighs. Your belly vibrated, hummed with hyperstimulation, that was paradise and sin at the same time and you felt that you could fall apart at any moment.
Five pulled the belt tight, bringing you up and sticking your back to his chest. He put his free arm around your waist, bringing the thrusts in slow, hard rhythms, making you feel every inch of him.
You hands went to him arm around your waist, the new position reaching the most sensitive places, making your pussy throb. You bit your lip to try to control your moans, because you were afraid they would be too loud.
“Without trapping those sounds for me!” This time the slap came down on your left breast, followed by a deeper thrust, and you begged for excuses while looking for air “Let everyone hear who's making you feel so good! Who does this slutt belong.”
That pushed you further into the abyss. Five sucked on the skin on your neck, pouring out a strong hickey while you could only scream and whimper for him, unable to do anything else. . He entered you deeply, taking whatever inch you had and forcing you to take it deeper.
Five did not allow you to move an inch away, your hips clinging to his, held by his arm, him fucking you hard without you can moving your hips. He could feel you blinking on his dick, making your honey drip down your thighs. His hunger had given no respite, and when he looked at you, and he saw your angel face in an expression of pleasure, pain and dirty with tears, it further fueled Five's hunger.
"That, little slutt!"
You were close, pulsing on his dick, sweat running down your body, your broken moans. Five loved how you were a mess for him, your whole body scarred because of him. He never fell your owner as much as he does now. You begged for something you didn't know what it was, but Five did. And he would give it to you. But he felt your pussy squeeze him, swallowing him in a broken way.
“You can't come until I let you!”
“Da-daddy!” You moaned louder “Please! Please! I need... I need it! ”
“I don’t care how good it feels, you’d better not cum until I tell you to!”
Five came out of you, turning you brutally on the bed once again, removing the belt from your neck. He climbed on top of you, now sticking your body to his, placing his mouth on yours in a gasping kiss. The skin-to-skin sensation was maddening, you were both hot, sweating, and Five squeezed your thigh tightly before slapping it down again. Your wrists were still tied, and you could only press them against his broad chest.
Your thighs were shaking and Five was delighted by this, he traced hickeys all over your breasts, and sank into you again when he sucked on your left sore beak.
Five held you while he fucked you in that position. Strong, cruel and hard. His hands were glued to your flesh, marking your skin with purple from his digits, holding his own moans. And you watched him with your mouth open by the screams and the sight. He was beautiful like that. Wild, his skin all sweaty, his teeth closed on his lip to keep from groaning, his black hair stuck to his forehead.
It was too much torture, too much stimulation, and you were already letting the tears flow while you were begging for something.
“Come to me, my good girl.”
Five didn't have to say it twice. You came intensely, your pussy sucking all of his cock and receiving the hot, thick liquid of his as a reward. You threw your head back in abandonment, feeling him it sink into you deeper, making sure you got all his sperm.
“Such a good girl for me.” Five whispered as he gave you a reward kiss you.
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talesofstyles · 4 years ago
Text
Reconcile
happy christmas eve, you lot! i’ve got a little present for you. enjoy this 10,5k of nearly divorced harry trying to win his wife and bitter nine year old daughter back. oh and i threw in a little baby goat in the mix too since it’s set in the peak district and i just couldn’t resist 🥳
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“Penny for your thoughts.”
He turned to look at her, who was giggling as she leaned closer to him. She was most definitely not a giggler sober, but he found out that a copious amount of alcohol could turn her into one. He felt slightly guilty knowing that she was going to be hungover as hell in the morning, but she was having a great time.
And so was he.
“I was just thinking about how great you are, how lucky I am to be sitting next to you right now and that you need to drink more water because otherwise, you’d be miserable tomorrow,” he says with a smile as he twisted the cap and handed her the bottle of water.
That goofy smile of hers turned into a gooey smile of affection. “That’s so sweet,” she murmured, taking a gulp of water and handed the bottle back to him so he could take some too. She then tilted her head, giving him a doe-eyed look and asked, “what else do you like about me?”
“Let’s see,” he put a finger to his chin and tapped. “Well, I love how kind and inclusive you are, how you always care about people and that you always see the good in everyone.” 
Her smile grew sappier.
“Oh,” he gave her a sly grin. “I also love that thing you do with your tongue on the underside of my cock.”
She burst out laughing. But then she leaned even closer to him and whispered huskily in his ear, “I’ll do that very thing when we get back to the hotel.”
His eyes widened and he wanted nothing more than just to drag her back to their hotel suite and take up on her offer. But he’d promised her that he’d show her around Vegas since she’d never been before, and he wanted to keep that promise.
“Wanna know what I like about you?” She turned to him, still with a gooey smile on her face.
“Do I ever,” he smirked.
“I like that you’re hands down the kindest human I’ve ever met,” she began. “You’re genuine, and grounded. Funny too. I truly hit the jackpot with you. I’m the luckiest girl on earth.”
“Oh,” she added as an afterthought. “And you’re really good with your tongue.”
He wanted to laugh, because she always made him laugh. But he was still stuck on the fact that she thought she was lucky to be with him. He felt exactly the same way about her, like this was always meant to be. 
“I wasn’t looking for this,” he admitted honestly. “I know it’s only been six weeks, but I really can’t imagine never having met you.”
“Me too,” her eyes were bright, shining with excitement. “It’s weird, right? Because I swear I’ve never felt such a deep connection with someone this quick.”
“Do you believe in soulmates?” He murmured. “That there’s a perfect person for everyone out there?”
She tilted her head. “Do you think that’s us?”
There was no hesitation in his answer. “I do think that might be us.”
“I think so too,” she said with a tender smile.
This was real.
He was overwhelmed with the understanding that she was his, and he never wanted to let her go. 
So he suggested what any sane, semi-drunk man would at that moment. “We’re in Vegas. We should get married.”
***
Harry
Pulling into the drive of what used to be our holiday cottage, but is now where my wife and children live full-time without me, feels strange to me. There’s that moment of what feels like a homecoming—that sense of belonging somewhere where I feel safe, and I know my happiness is inside.
But now, for the first time in ten years, there’s a sense of detachment that I know I’ve got to put in place. It is why I need to take a moment or two in the car before I walk inside to sort myself out and put on a shield. A shield which lets me walk inside, and be okay with the fact that I don’t live there anymore even just for the holidays. 
This charming little cottage, which can’t exactly be called little since it is quite spacious and has three bedrooms, has always been more of a second home rather than a holiday home for us. We used to come here often, sometimes even only for the weekends. I’ve always loved this place. Now, looking back, I realised that many of the happiest times during our marriage were spent in this home. 
It was where we spent the first few weeks soaking in newlywed bliss after that whirlwind of a trip to Las Vegas when we decided out of nowhere to tie the knot. Then there were the sleepless nights with a wailing newborn, because even though both of our babies were born in London, we always whisked them off here to Bakewell shortly after so we were close enough that both sets of their grandparents could dote on them during the first few weeks of their lives.
After I exit the car, I walk up to the front door and ring the doorbell. I don’t feel comfortable walking in as I respect that this is YN’s sanctuary now. The wait isn’t long, because in just a few seconds, the door is opened and there’s my wife, looking like a breath of fresh air.
It had been eight long months since the last time I saw her. Last time was the night when she asked me to leave our marital home, and I fled to LA first thing the next morning. I talked daily with the kids on the phone, but I didn’t really recall ever getting the chance to talk to her aside from the quick polite greetings before she handed her phone to the kids.
“Hey,” she says, her expression a bit guarded. I’ve missed her so much that it takes everything in me to keep myself from pulling her into my arms and kiss the fuck out of her. “Come in.”
“You alright?” I ask her as I follow her into the house. This may sound like I’m just making a small talk, but I’m not. I’m genuinely curious and I want to know how she’s doing. 
But she doesn’t even respond to my question. All I get is a head-tilt motioning towards the kitchen. “They’re in the kitchen.”
My gaze immediately lands on the accent table that holds a lot of photos and a key bowl. I silently let out a sigh of relief seeing YN hasn’t removed all of the family photos with me in it. It’s a good sign, but I don’t have much hope behind that. Maybe that’s just her trying to keep everything as normal as possible at home for the kids. 
My wife and I never had a big fight when we separated. It had been somewhat rational, but still emotional, discussion. She wasn’t angry, she was just done. And I didn’t fight for her. Instead, yours truly here walked away the next morning and didn’t look back.
I’ve done a lot of dumb things in my life. But nothing ever compares to that. That was pretty fucking stupid on my part, and I know I’ll regret it for the rest of my life.
I’ve accepted that maybe this is my punishment for being a shit husband to a wonderful woman who doesn’t deserve to be treated like a second best. She did the right thing by kicking me to the curb, and I’d never resent her for it. If I could turn back time and change everything, I would in a heartbeat. I’d try harder to be a better husband, a better father, put my family first. But I can’t. Now all I can do is just try not to be a dickhead and make things harder for her than it already is. It’s too late for me to try to be a better husband, but it isn’t for me to try to be the best father that my children deserve. 
I follow my wife through the living room and into the kitchen, and I’d be dead not to check out her arse in those leggings. It’s something I quickly avert my eyes from, though, as I realise both of my children are sitting at the kitchen island, eating scones with their tea. 
George, my six-year-old, is the first to turn his head and hop off from the island stool to jump into my arms. “Daddeeeeee!”
“My Booger Butt,” I greet my little lad with a smile as I squat down to be on his level before scooping him up into my arms. Booger Butt is one of the countless nicknames I have for him, and one that never fails to make him double over in laughter whenever he hears it. He’s also Mr Tadpole Climbing a Beanpole sometimes, and he used to be Sir Screams-a-Lot when he was a baby. He thinks they’re hilarious, and he’d always respond by calling me Baddy Daddy. 
“I‘ve missed you so much, Baddy Daddy,” he says sweetly as he nuzzles his head into the crook of my neck and I swear if I don’t pull myself together right this second, I’m going to cry. 
“I’ve missed you more, mate,” I say as I ruffle his hair and kiss his cheek. “I love you.” 
My daughter doesn’t seem fazed by the father and son reunion behind her and continues munching on her scone without even giving me a glance. With my left arm full of my son, I walk up to her and ruffle her hair just like I did with her little brother. “Hey Silly Putty Pudding Pie,” I greet her with one of her nicknames, hoping to get her to laugh. But she ignores me, taking a sip of her brew instead. 
I don’t want to give up, so I lean to the side and bend to put my face close to hers. I try again, “hello to you too, poppet.”
“Whatever,” she mumbles around a mouthful of scone. 
“Minnie,” YN growls, her tone filled with warning.
This is why I respect YN so much. I hurt her badly, broke her heart, and it would’ve been so easy for her to use Minnie as a pawn and turn my child against me. But every time, even on the phone, whenever she is present, she never let Minnie be disrespectful to me in any way.
My gaze moves to my wife—yes I’m still going to refer to her as my wife since she still is, albeit only on paper—and she gives me an apologetic look. I give a slight shake of my head, telling her silently to let it go. 
She takes the last bite of her scone and puts the dish in the sink, before walking to the staircase without giving me a second glance. I can see YN trying to hold her tongue from further rebuking our daughter, and I give her a small smile, my silent way of telling her ‘it’s okay.’
“Sorry about that,” she mutters, referring to Minnie’s attitude. She grabs a mug from the cupboard, then holds it up in silent invitation. I nod, and she turns to the pot. “I can’t keep up with her mood shifts anymore.”
“It’s alright,” I tell her, willing to take my share of the blame. “I’m sure the shift has everything to do with me.”
“Not true,” she replies as she pours the coffee into our mugs, adding a splash of milk to hers but keeping mine just like that because she knows I take my coffee black. “She’s been like that with me as well and I’m not sure why. She’s only nine but she acts as if she’s thirteen already.”
I can’t help but laugh and turn to my little lad. “Can you be six forever?”
“No,” he says immediately without even taking a second to think.
“Just no?”
“No,” he gives me a toothy grin. “I want a lego city set but mummy said it’s for eight-year-olds. So I cannot wait to be eight.”
I set him on the counter and give him a conspiratorial smirk before I whisper to him. It’s a little too loud to be considered a whisper, but I want my wife to hear it. “Tell you what, we’ll get one of those sets tomorrow on our day out.”
His eyes light up instantly and my wife rolls her eyes jokingly, “I hear that.” Jokingly, because I know for sure she doesn’t mind me spoiling our children. She does it too. 
“Where are you taking them tomorrow?”
“To your mum’s pudding shop for breakfast, then probably fishing, and the toys shop now apparently,” I tell her our itinerary. I have the kids for the whole day tomorrow since it’s Saturday. It’s bittersweet because I’ve missed my children and I can’t wait to spend time with them, but I’m also sad because what I wouldn’t give to turn tomorrow into a family day out instead. I know she would most likely decline, but I can’t help offer her, “would you like to come with us?”
She gives me a subtle shake of her head. “No thanks. Enjoy it, it’s your time with them.”
***
I’m renting a room above The Old Nags Head during my stay here. I plan to stay for a week before I have to go back to London, and even though the thought of having to leave my children again is killing me, I’m trying to cheer myself up by reminding myself that it’ll be Christmas soon enough and I’ll get to visit again.
But then I’ll have to leave again. 
And visit again, but knowing in just a week or two, I would have to say goodbye to them again.
Fuck, this is killing me. I’m a family man through and through, and not being with them physically hurts. I shouldn’t be in this room sulking alone. I should be there in that home with my wife and children, probably helping Minnie and George with their homework or making dinner for all of us.
I was prepared to sulk some more, but then I heard a knock on the door. I was not expecting company so I’ve got no idea who it is, and I’m quite surprised when I see Jamie, YN’s brother as I open the door. 
We were quite close, but now that I broke his little sister’s heart, I can’t tell if this is a pleasant visit or if he’s just here to knock me square on my arse. 
“Got time for tea downstairs?” He asks
Honestly, I haven’t got any appetite. But I could use a few pints so I nod and lock the door behind me, following him downstairs to the pub. 
The Old Nags Head is the oldest and most famous pub in Bakewell. The pub itself is a former smithy dating back to the 16th century, and certainly looks the part; thick stone walls, low ceilings, welcoming log fires and dark timber beams. The pub remains at the centre of the community, as it has been for hundreds of years. It offers the best classic pub grubs, and even has its own ale called the Nags 1577. 
It’s the perfect place to drown my sorrows. 
Except, the current owner of that very pub happens to be none other than my wife’s granddad whom everyone here calls Pop. Out of all members of her family, she is the closest to Pop, so I know for sure that I’m the last person he wants to see. 
We sit at the bar table facing the window, which is good because Pop is behind the main bar, and this way I don’t have to actually talk to him. 
“Ya want owt?” Jamie asks as he does a quick perusal of the menu. I’m not even sure why he bothers, because even I know what he’s going to order. It’s Pop’s signature steak and ale pie. Ten years of being his brother in law, not once I ever saw him order something else. 
“Just a pint,” I tell him. 
It doesn’t take long after Jamie orders his food and our drinks before two pints are placed before us, and we each take a savouring sip.
And then Jamie point-blank asks me, “so what did you do?”
I really can’t tell anything from his expression, because he keeps his face blank. But I give him a bark of mirthless laughter. “It’s what I didn’t do, mate. She didn’t say anything?”
“Not a word,” he shakes his head, “what didn’t you do?”
“I stopped paying attention to my wife. Got caught up in my career. The travelling for tours she understood, but it was when I was home and hanging out more with my bandmates than with my family that she couldn’t forgive. And what little time I had left, I gave to Minnie and George. I think I just stupidly assumed she would always be there for me, no matter what.”
“Was there any infidelity?” He asks.
“God, no,” I shake my head hard. “You know I’d never do that to your sister. I love her, and she’s more than enough for me.”
Obviously, I’m not going to tell him this, but ironically, our sex life didn’t diminish. We were combustible in bed, and my mistake was in thinking that was enough for her. 
I look at the pudding shop right across the street as I take another sip, and I nearly choke on my beer when I see a familiar face walking out of the shop. 
“What in the ever-loving fuck?” I growl. 
That’s my wife, walking out of her mum’s pudding shop. She is not alone. There’s a guy with his hand pressed to her lower back while her head is tipped back, laughing at something he’s saying. I suddenly feel sick to my stomach when the bastard’s palm drops from my wife’s back to take her hand, lacing his fingers with hers. She smiles, all doe-eyed, as they walk to God knows where. 
“What?” Jamie looks at me confused for a second, but then he follows my gaze and he finally sees what’s causing me distress. “Oh, that.”
“You knew about that?”
He nods. “She’s been seeing him for about three weeks now.”
“Fuck,” I mutter and pinch the bridge of my nose.
“She didn’t tell you?” Jamie asks and I shake my head. 
“Three weeks you said?”
Jamie nods again. “He makes her happy.”
“I’m her husband,” I can’t help but say bitterly. “I should be the one making her happy.”
“Look, I’m sorry mate,” he offers, I know he’s trying his best to keep his tone neutral. “Maybe you need to get back in the dating game too. It’ll distract you.”
“I don’t want to fucking date anyone else,” I growl.
“I know it’s hard to get back in the saddle,” he adds sympathetically.
“I don’t want to get out of my current saddle,” I grumble. “I want to keep my current saddle with my wife in it.”
Jamie blinks in surprise, hell I’m even surprised at what I’ve just said out loud because I’ve never admitted this since we split. When YN asked me to leave, I assumed right away that my marriage was over. I didn’t want it to, but I thought there was nothing I could do. 
But now, seeing her laughing at another man’s joke and his hand holding hers, I just know that I can’t let her go without a fight. 
“Have you told her this?” He asks curiously.
I shake my head again. “We haven’t got the chance to have a civil conversation these days.”
“Then I suggest you stop being such a bloody whinge bucket and have a civil conversation with your wife.”
My shoulders immediately sag in defeat. “I know. I need to sit down with her and tell her how I feel.”
“Which is?” He presses.
“That I want her back,” I mutter.
“You’ve got to have a better plan than that,” he points out. “I mean… I’m not a marriage therapist, but I’m pretty sure that you’ve got to be prepared to fix the shit first.”
I can’t help but tilt my head towards the pudding shop where my wife had just walked out the door. “She’s moved on. You said it yourself that he makes her happy. Tell me how to compete with that.”
“Make her happier,” he says simply. I can only let out a heavy sigh, but I know that's solid advice. “Listen, if you really want to save your marriage, you need to make it work. Romance her again. Lots of flowers, nice romantic dinners out. Compliments, chocolates. All that sort of thing.”
“You think that’ll work?”
“I don’t know,” he answers truthfully. “But I do know that you’ll regret it for the rest of your life if you don’t do anything about it.”
***
My emotions are a mixed bag this morning. Don’t get me wrong, I’m excited to spend the whole day with my kids, but the fact that I have just learnt last night that my wife is currently seeing another man doesn’t sit right with me.
I know Jamie was right. If I want to save my marriage, I need to get my head out of my arse and do something to win my wife back. Sure, I don’t even know where to start since she doesn’t give me the time of day. But I do know that starting today, I’m a man on a mission. It’s Operation Conquer YN: day 1. 
It’s currently 8:40am, which means I’m twenty minutes early. I hope the kids won’t be ready yet, so I’ll get a chance to talk for a little bit to my wife.
When I ring the doorbell, I can hear George pounding down the stairs, yelling, “I got it!”
The door flies open and he jumps into my arms right away. My little lad truly misses me, and it really does warm my heart. Now, I love my children equally, but before I got here yesterday, I thought Minnie would be the one to jump all over me since she’s a daddy’s girl through and through, while George has always been a mummy’s boy since the day he was born. 
But again, I should’ve known. Since YN and I split, Minnie sort of puts herself in her mum’s corner. Every time I actually got the chance to talk to her on the phone when I was still in LA, it was always extremely short before she quickly handed her mum’s phone to her little brother. I try not to take her behaviour to heart, because I guess it’s what nine-year-olds do when they don’t quite understand why their parents aren’t together. They just need someone to blame, and my daughter is way more mature than her age. She’s bloody smart too, which she definitely takes after her mum, and I know that she knows it’s my fault that her mum and I separated.
Now that I think of it, it’s not just my wife that I desperately need to win back. But also my daughter.
“Daddy!” George chirps. He’s got a milk moustache and the sight never fails to get me to chuckle. “You’re early.”
“I know,” I reply with a tender smile. “I just can’t wait to spend the day with you lot.” 
“I’m going to get ready!” He announces excitedly as he squirms in my arms wanting to be put down, and he runs up the stairs before I can even reply.
I look around, and my gaze lands on the sofa, a hazel leather sofa that YN picked out. It’s so comfy and I could nap there forever.
Then there’s the coffee table, where YN, Minnie, George and I sat around and played board games. Catan is our family’s favourite, followed closely by Monopoly. 
The corner where we always put the Christmas tree, right next to the fireplace. And every year it didn’t matter how hard I tried, I could never get the bloody thing to stay straight. 
I miss this little cottage. Sure, the house in South Kensington is our marital house, but this cosy little cottage in the middle of nowhere feels more like home to me. And now I truly get why YN was so adamant to move here permanently after we separated, didn't matter how hard I tried to persuade her to stay in London.
“You’re early,” my wife blinks in surprise, but quickly masks it. “Minnie darling, go and get ready.”
“Do I really have to go?” My nine-year-old whines and I feel a pang. She really doesn’t want to spend time with me.
“Minnie, that’s not nice,” YN reprimands her before I can stop her.
“I’ve missed you, poppet,” I say, wanting to look at her in the eyes but she refuses to meet my gaze. Which hurts, but it’s fine. I know it’ll take some time for her to warm up to me. “I want to spend the day with you and your brother. I promise I’ll try to make it fun for you both.”
“Fine,” she replies, before marching up the stairs to her room. There’s still a hint of sulkiness in her tone, but at least I didn’t get a heavy sigh. I know it’s a small win but honestly, it’s better than none.
“Coffee’s in the pot,” she tells me politely from where she’s sitting at the island. She has her laptop open before her, and I can see her writing an email. I bet she’s working today, even if it’s Saturday, because my wife is such a hard-worker. She works remotely for a consulting firm and I’m beyond proud of her.
I nod and pour the coffee, and I let the silence carry on for a bit before saying, “saw you getting cosy with your new boyfriend last night.”
She instantly looks up from her laptop, giving me a death glare. Her tone is defensive when she says, “that’s none of your business.”
“You could’ve at least told me that you were seeing someone,” I tell her, making elaborate gestures with my coffee mug.
“Why would I do that?” She retorts defensively. “Last time I checked, you didn’t give a shit about me when we were married. Why on earth would I assume you do now?”
Hearing that, it feels like Chuck Norris himself just kicked me in the nuts. I can only mutter, “we’re still married.”
“Not for long,” she replies faintly.
“Don’t say that,” I say, my breath a little jagged. “We can still fix this, darling. I know we can.”
“Are you mad?” She snaps, but then she takes a deep breath, and her tone is a lot calmer when she adds, “Harry, it’s too late.”
“No, it’s not. It’s never too late to get our marriage back on track,” I plead desperately. “Would you at least give me a shot?”
“What do you mean?” She frowns. 
“You can continue to see Mr Wife-stealer-”
“He’s not a wife-stealer,” she snaps, cutting me off. “He’s got a name.”
“Well, he’s stealing my wife,” I grumble like a stroppy child.
“You’re being such a child,” she retorts. “His name is Luke, he’s a decent guy, and he makes me happy.”
“I’m not afraid to go head to head with him,” I say defiantly. 
“Fuck’s sake, Harry, we’re not on a bloody Love Island,” she says in exasperation. “Two children are involved here, this isn’t a game.”
“I know it isn’t,” I reply with a sigh. “Just please give me another shot, darling. Let me remind you how great we were together.”
“You mean the sex?” She demands, one side of her upper lip curls in a sneer.  
I bend my head and murmur, “we were dynamite in the sack, weren’t we?”
I see the flash in her eyes as she remembers, and it makes me want to beat my chest in victory. But the euphoric feeling is short-lived when she says, “a relationship is so much more than just sex. If you don’t understand it then-”
“I do, fuck, I do know that,” I cut her off in a strangled, desperate voice. “At least let me try, darling. Fuck if I’m letting you go without a fight.”
We lapse into silence as she gives me a sceptical look, and I know in this moment that my biggest challenge is to regain her trust, as well as accepting the fact that she has someone else fighting for her attention. 
I know this will be tough, because I let her down over and over again. And worse, I let my children down too, because I was never quite able to make my family my highest priority. It was all my fault, I knew it then, still do now. That’s why when she asked me to leave, I couldn’t even argue. I was a shit husband and father, and I deserved that.
Trying to win Minnie is probably going to be the easiest because beneath this ‘tweenage’ attitude going on, I know she is a sweet girl who loves her daddy. I need to devote more attention to her, maybe take her on some daddy-daughter dates. I know it’ll work because I’ve never given her enough on a consistent basis. 
YN is going to be the most difficult, because I really broke her heart. I’ve been married to her for ten years, so I can say with confidence that I know for sure she would never fall for things like flowers or gifts. I have to show her that I genuinely want to fix our marriage, and that my interest in her is real. It’ll be like starting all over again. 
And on top of that, she’s seeing someone else and she said it herself that he does make her happy. I know she’s not lying about it, as Jamie also told me the same thing last night and I saw with my own eyes how she laughed with him last night. Seeing that killed me, because I don’t have the ability to make her laugh like that anymore, but I couldn’t deny that there was a small part of me that was happy for her.
She may have sneered when I insinuated I’d be glad to remind her of the good times, but I saw it in her eyes. There was still a slight burn, and that might just have to be my angle. 
But then I remember our last time together. It was only two days before she asked me to leave and I remember coming home mid-morning after a meeting with my manager and publicist to find her lying in our bed, clad in sexy lingerie. I had my mouth on every inch of her, a good deal of time between her legs, and after she reciprocated by taking me into her mouth.
The kids were in school, and apparently, she took a sick day because I had told her the night before that I only had one meeting in the morning that day. After, she cuddled in close, and we talked for a while. She seemed happy, but then there was a hint of hesitation in her voice when she suggested, “fancy just spending all day in bed until school pick-ups?”
I mean, what man in his right mind would say no to that? The kids were gone for at least another five hours, I had a gorgeous wife naked and wanting more of what we just did… 
Yet, I’d said no. “Sorry, doll. I’m meeting the lads at the studio in about an hour.”
I didn’t see it then, but I do now and it’s clear as day. The look on her face had been blank, and there wasn’t even disappointment like she would usually show me. She hadn’t tried to get me to change my mind. There hadn’t been a guilt-laden frown to give me pause.
I realise now what it was.
It was the moment my wife finally gave up on me.
My chest constricts as it finally dawns on me the pain she must have been feeling. I’m not just talking about that day. That had been our life for several years.
No wonder she asked me to leave.
No wonder she’s moving on with Mr Wife-stealer.
No wonder that, at this moment, I realise I’ve got tons of work to do because sex isn’t going to be the answer in winning my wife back.
***
“Will the baby just eat when you give it the bottle?” Minnie asks her uncle Jamie as the four of us gaze at the baby goat in front of us. For the first time since yesterday, I actually see the slight curve up of lips that form a fond smile. Seeing that smile on my daughter’s face, I’m glad we didn’t go fishing and end up going to the barn instead. We were actually already on our way, but Jamie texted me that the mother goat had given birth this morning, and he wanted me to tell Minnie and George. The goats are a new addition to the farm, so they have been so excited to see baby goats. I knew from the look in their eyes that they would have a much better time seeing baby goats rather than fishing. 
It turns out that there’s only one baby goat, because the other one sadly didn’t make it. And the dam isn’t producing milk, so the kid needs to be bottle-fed until the mother is producing again. I can’t help but smile fondly at the baby goat too because it’s adorable. It’s a soft little white goat with a pink nose and ears. The dam is a Pygmy but since it has blue eyes, Jamie thinks she must have Nigerian Dwarf genes somewhere in her.
“It’s a female… a doeling,” Jamie tells her. “And she will if she’s hungry. You want to try to feed her? Look, she’s hungry again.”
We watch for a moment as the baby goat walks on wobbly legs, bleating in hunger. Jamie mixes the powdered formula and makes a bottle for her, then he hands the bottle to Minnie.
But Minnie shakes her head. “Maybe next time. I want to see you do it first.”
“Alright then,” Jamie nods, then turns towards my little lad. “How about you, mate? Wanna feed her?”
“No thank you,” says George as he shakes his head, and then he giggles, “she smells funny.”
“Can I do it?” I ask and Jamie nods as he hands me the bottle. 
I sit down against the wall with my children sitting on either side of me. And as if the goat can sense that I hold the key to filling her empty belly, the doeling starts to prance in excitement and falls over a few times due to what I assume is clumsiness. I love that she can walk normally but still choose chaos—honestly, she could’ve been my third child. There’s no stopping the surge of fondness that swells within me as I watch her little antics. 
“Come here little crumpet,” I coo at the goat.
The little goat scrambles right onto my lap, bleating hungrily. I wrap my arm around her and tip the bottle. She latches on instantly, and Minnie and George are aww-ing and ooh-ing over the way the baby goat’s little tail swishes back and forth so fast in ecstatic happiness as she drinks her milk. 
“You’re a hungry little thing, aren’t you?” Minnie murmurs and the little tail swishes faster as she pushes at the bottle to suck the milk down faster. “What’s her name, uncle Jamie?”
“I haven’t named her yet,” Jamie says. “What do you lot think we should call her?”
“Blue,” George suggests instantly, without looking away from the baby goat on my lap. 
“Ooh, I like it,” Minnie adds. “Like her eyes.”
“Blue it is, then,” Jamie grins. “Now, even though the dam is still not producing milk, we still need to train her to at least try to nurse, so she’ll do it right away when the dam is finally producing milk. Let’s see if we can get her to try to eat from the dam.”
He plucks the baby from my arms, and a series of yearning bleats come from the kid as he carries her to her mother. He places her near the dam’s udders and gives the baby a gentle push.
Much to our surprise, Blue spins away from Jamie and her mother and runs back to me. Although in all fairness, I am holding the bottle she was just drinking from. Jamie attempts three more times to get the baby to try to nurse from her mother, but she’s having none of it. 
Finally, he takes the bottle from me and walks across to the opposite wall. He sits down, holds the bottle out, and calls to the doeling. “Come here, baby. Come eat.”
Blue’s tail gives a few nervous twitches, but she doesn’t move towards Jamie. In fact, she takes a few hesitant steps backwards until she bumps into my legs. I’m amazed as I watch her stare hungrily at the bottle, bleating hungrily, but refusing to go to Jamie.
“Daddy, she thinks you’re her mummy,” says George and both my children burst in laughter.
“What?” I say in astonishment.
“I don’t think that doeling is going to feed from anyone but you,” Jamie adds with a chuckle as he stands up. He walks over and hands me the bottle. Blue jumps directly into my lap.
On autopilot, I offer the goat the nipple but look up to Jamie in panic. “What should we do?”
“Dunno, I’ll just try and do it when she’s hungry again in a few hours,” he shrugs. “But if she still doesn’t wanna eat, I’ll bring her to you.”
Any last vestiges of humour, happiness and downright giddiness over the cuteness of a baby goat fades as I realise I might or might not have just added another task to my list. Heavens help me.
***
“Let’s have a daddy and daughter date tomorrow.”
It’s a solid suggestion, and I really hope she’d say yes. Her little brother has his classmate’s birthday party to go to, so I know it’d be perfect for a little one-on-one time. 
We’re on our way back home after spending a whole day together. It was great, and even though I didn’t have happy-go-lucky Minnie, George had a great time, and it was enough for me. And at least she didn’t ask to go home early, so I’d call that a win.
“No, thanks,” she replies. There’s still not a hint of sulkiness in her tone, but it doesn’t sound technically warm either. 
I glance over through the rear-view mirror as she stares out the window with her arms folded. Her brother is sleeping next to her, and I figured this might be a good time to talk since she’s trapped in the car with me.
Everyone always says that Minnie is a mini-me, while George is a carbon-copy of his mum. Minnie has my nose, eyebrows, chin, even my smile; which is slightly lopsided and has a dimple on one side. I know I’m biased, but she truly is the most beautiful little girl I’ve ever seen.
Where Minnie shines, though, is her personality, which is a combination of her mum and me. She has her mum’s sunny disposition—aside from the days where she’s got a bag on—and always sees the good in everyone. She’s our little ray of sunshine, tender and caring and always trying to make others feel good.
From me, she gets her stubbornness, which even though I know is a good trait to have when she’s older, it made things so much harder when she was a toddler. She also has my terrible sense of humour, but the thing I’m most proud of is her work ethic. I can’t take full credit for that though, because her mother is a hard worker as well.
Ever since she started distancing herself from me, I know which subjects are safe, and which are not. School always falls in the safe category, because she enjoys it and excels. So I figure now that’s where I should start. “How’s school going?”
“Alright,” she replies, still looking out the window. 
Now, this really doesn’t sound at all like my daughter.
“Come on, Min,” I say desperately. “Tell daddy what’s been eating you. I can’t help if I don’t know what it is.”
“It’s nothing, I’m fine,” she says absently.
“Do you want to go and get some ice cream with me tomorrow?” That was our thing at least once every two weeks and she loved it.
“No, thank you.”
“Ice skating?”
“No, thank you.”
“Oh I know,” I say excitedly. “I’ve got a show in London in a couple of weeks, Jingle Ball. Do you want to come with me?”
Minnie has always been my biggest fan, clapping the hardest and yelling the loudest for her daddy. So it really takes me by surprise when she mutters, “shows, shows, shows… that’s all you care about, dad.”
I twist to peer out my window so she doesn’t see the wince that comes unbidden to my face if she looks through the mirror. That was a direct slam against me. 
That really does hurt, and I rub at the throb of pain behind my breastbone.
“That’s not true,” I reply faintly. 
“Did you care about my last ballet recital?”
Early this year, Minnie had a ballet recital. She was so excited about it because I had just finished my tour in December last year, and I’d already told my management that I would like a couple of months off. There was no reason for me not to attend, so I promised her I’d be there.
Except at the last moment, I realised I had forgot to switch an important meeting I had with the team from the new Manchester Arena. Since I invested in it, we had a meeting every few months because I said right from the beginning that I would take more than just a capital interest. I wanted to be involved in the development, because that was a huge project and I was really proud of it. 
YN was in charge of our schedule and when she reminded me about the recital, which conflicted directly with my meeting, we ended up getting in the worst row we’ve ever had throughout our marriage.
“You’re going to let our daughter down in a way she won’t forgive,” she stated.
I refused to believe that, brushing off her comment with “I’ll take her out for something special later.” But my wife turned and stalked away from me. 
That day, the meeting went great and the construction was almost done a few weeks earlier than intended, so there was an option if we wanted to open sooner. YN sent me a text with a video of Minnie’s performance, and it was beautiful. I was such a proud dad that I showed the video to everyone in that room. 
When I got home, my wife and children cuddled on the sofa, watching a film. George was snoozing with his head on his mum’s lap on the far end, so I plopped myself down beside Minnie. I tugged on her hair playfully, and asked if she wanted to go out to a special daddy-daughter dinner to celebrate her recital.
“No, thank you,” she replied quietly, not taking her eyes off the telly. 
“Come on, poppet,” I coaxed, trying to tickle her in the ribs a little. She only squirmed closer to her mum, not laughing from the tickle but grimacing like she didn’t want to be touched.
YN stared over Minnie with sorrow in her eyes. She gave a tiny shake of her head, but I wasn’t ready to give up. 
“The Ivy?” I tried to tempt her because my kid loves chips, and she’s obsessed with their truffle and parmesan chips.
“No, thank you,” she muttered again, her head resting on her mum’s shoulder and her arm crossed over her middle. YN cuddled her with an arm around her shoulder. It had been clear that they were a unit, and I hadn’t been included.
“Minnie decided she wants to stop ballet lessons, so that was her last recital.”
“Oh,” I’d replied dumbly.
I couldn’t think of another damn thing to say because to do so would be disingenuous. There’s no doubt I killed my daughter’s potential love of ballet by not coming to her recital. I knew that because of YN’s expression of disappointment and Minnie’s dull dismissal. 
Later that night, I walked by Minnie’s room and glanced in as the door was slightly open. I had bought her a bouquet of flowers that I gave her before I left for my meeting, and I saw that they’d been stuffed into the bin beside her desk.
I blink out of that memory, feeling the heavy weight of guilt. “Of course I did, my love. If I knew-”
“But not enough to come,” she replies dully. “And what about my debate competition? George’s piano recital? You showed up to none of them.”
I sigh heavily. “Minnie, a lot of parents have demanding jobs where they’re required to work or travel more than others. Sometimes A&E doctors have to work on Christmas and cannot see their children open the presents. Sometimes, a firefighter has to leave their house at night and can’t tuck their kids in bed.”
“I understand that,” she whirls and looks at me through the rear-view mirror. “Except you’re not saving lives or fighting fires, are you? You just get up on a stage and sing.”
“I’m a terrible dad, aren’t I?” I concede. “I know I’ve done things wrong in the past, but I’m trying to make it up to you, poppet. But I can’t do it if you won’t let me.”
She doesn’t say anything and it’s killing me. “You know I love you, right?”
“I know,” she rushes to assure me and I feel a little lighter. My daughter may act like a tween and have some bitter feelings towards me, but she loves me. 
“I don’t like seeing you like this,” I continue. “Tell me how to make it up to you and I’ll do it. I want things to be good between us again.”
Her eyes flare with shock, and then they dart away as if she’s considering something. I wait expectantly. Maybe she’s going to finally open up and pour out her feelings for me. I’m ready for it.
I’m ready to listen, and validate, and reassure her that she, along with her mum and brother, are the loves of my life. 
Her gaze comes back to me, her expression serious, and I brace.
“Can we get a puppy?”
What? 
There’s no stopping the unlocking of my jaw and the dropping of my mouth because this was the last thing I expected her to say. 
I’m so caught off guard that I can’t even think to immediately tell her ‘no’, which gives her time to launch into all the reasons why we should have a dog.
“Minnie, puppies are a lot of work. You’ve got to potty train them, teach them manners, and they get up for hours at night.” 
“I promise I’ll do all that,” she exclaims.
“Like how you were supposed to take care of Fishy?” I can’t help but remind her. Fishy was her goldfish that we had to throw a funeral for a few years ago because she forgot to feed him. That poor sod died of hunger.
Minnie rolls her eyes. “I was six.”
She’s got a point.
Still, it’s obvious part of her request is manipulation because she threw it at me when I opened myself up to vulnerability. She knows I’m trying, and she’s throwing me a clear bone.
Get her a puppy, and all will be forgiven.
“Tell you what,” I look over my shoulder after I parked the car since we’ve reached home. “I promise to think about it, and I’ll talk to mummy.” 
“Really?” She bounces in her seat in excitement.
“We’ll talk about it,” I reiterate in a calm, even voice. But there’s no stopping her excitement. The fact that I’m willing to consider is a huge victory for her because she knows that when I make my mind up about something, I never change it. 
I open the door for her, and she is quick to unbuckle herself and throws herself at me. 
I’m so surprised at the spontaneous act of affection that I almost don’t hug her back. It’s been so long since she’s shown this to me, and it’s the best feeling in the world.
I squeeze her tight, and I can only hope that my darling girl will always love her daddy the way she does right now. 
George doesn’t even stir as I pick him up, and I tuck him in his bed straight away since I don’t want to wake him up. He must be tired, and good thing I’ve fed them both dinner.
Minnie even gives me another hug before she gets ready for bed, and that results in me having a permanent smile on my face even as I walk down the stairs and into the kitchen to see my wife. 
“She’s chirpy,” YN comments when she sees me walking into the kitchen. “What did you do?”
“Got her to talk to me,” I smirk. 
She looks surprised, and well, I can’t blame her. “Did she?”
“She did,” I nod. “Pointed out all my flaws, and when I asked her how I could make it up to her, she asked for a puppy.”
“What?”
“Exactly my reaction,” I chuckle. 
“Boy, if she’s this good at emotional blackmailing at nine, we’d probably be in deep shit in a couple of years,” she jokes and I can’t help but laugh. 
I’ve missed this.
“Will you go out to dinner with me tomorrow night?” I blurt out before I can stop myself. 
“I can’t.”
“What? Got a hot date already?” I ask teasingly, but her silence tells me what I don’t want to know. “Oh, you’re going out with him.”
“Mr Wife- I mean Luke asked me out first and I already said yes.”
I shouldn’t be laughing because the fact that my wife going on a date with another man is not funny at all, but it’s hard to hide my smirk when she almost calls him by the nickname I’ve given him, Mr Wife-stealer. 
“Well, fair enough. He asked you first,” I say nonchalantly. “What does he do?”
“He’s an A&E doctor at the Northern General,” she says, her tone lightens a little.
“Smart then isn’t he,” I mutter. 
“Yes. He’s smart, attentive, caring and generous with his time.” 
I keep my expression and tone bland, but she landed a direct blow there and it fucking hurts. “All the things I’m not,” I state, voicing the conclusion she was aiming at.
“Well,” she drawls with a tiny bit of sympathy. “I do think you’re smart.”
I give her a side eye-roll before I decide to be downright nosy and ask, “you can’t have been on many dates then?”
“True,” she chirps, a gleam in her eye as she sticks the knife in. “He is busy and his schedules are unpredictable. But when he’s gone, he makes sure I know I’m always on his mind. He sends me flowers for absolutely no reason other than because he wants to, calls me every day and we text all the time.”
Well, sodding fucking bollocking shit wank. I didn’t think YN would fall for that crap. And I realise… I never thought to do that stuff for her. I was the self-absorbed type of person who figured that my wife knew I thought about her all the time when I was away. I mean we were married, so I just assumed she knew.
I’m a shit head. 
“What else does he do for you?” I ask and she blinks in surprise.
“Why?” She asks suspiciously.
“I told you I want our marriage to work.”
Her eyes narrow slightly, trying to read my tone and see whether I’m being genuine or it’s just bollocks. Finally, she replies primly, “I’m not giving away his secrets.”
What the fuck does that mean? Have they shagged? I would bet a million pounds they had not though, because I know YN and she wouldn’t enter into that deep of a relationship lightly.
Without even thinking twice, I make a sudden step into her. My arm goes around her waist and I pull her body into me. Not a single inch of space between us. Her mouth opens in a gasp of surprise, and I use the opportunity to kiss her.
I kiss the fuck out of my wife.
Her hands slap against my upper arms, and her fingers dig into my sleeves. Even as she’s pushing me away, her mouth opens, and her tongue touches mine briefly. 
When I pull back, I ask, “did he kiss you like this?”
She shakes her head, breathlessly admitting, “we haven’t-”
My jaw drops. “Are you joking?”
“I’m not,” she murmurs.
“How long exactly have you been seeing him?” 
“About four weeks.”
“Honey, he’s rooting for the other team,” I tell her and she slaps my arm. 
“Sod off, he’s not,” she counters.
“Four weeks with the hottest, most gorgeous, shaggable woman and he hasn’t tried to kiss you? I mean not that I’m not grateful because, fuck, I am. But wow.”
“Of course he did try,” she rolls her eyes. “But I’m not ready for that, and he’s okay with us taking it slow.” 
For a second I don’t say anything in response. Instead, I loosen my hold, bringing my hand to her lower back, and cupping her intimately from behind. Moaning, she leans into me. “I’m guessing he hasn’t touched you like this then.”
She doesn’t answer. Instead, she lets her eyelids flutter closed as her teeth bite into her lower lip.
Fuck. I could drag her to the floor right now, and we could go at it.
But then she comes to her senses, blinking rapidly, and I release her immediately when she gives me a tiny shove backwards. 
“You’re not playing fair,” she accuses. 
Damn right I’m not. I grab her upper arms, pull her back into me for one last kiss before I let her go just as quickly. “I’m playing to win.”
She takes a step back, brushes a wisp of hair from her temple, and puts on a cool expression. “That’s not going to make me take you back.”
I smirk.
She waves a dismissive hand. “Don’t get me wrong. You’re great with your hands and your mouth, but a lot of men know how to please a woman.”
She’s got a bonus point for trying to make me jealous, but I’m not falling for it. Instead, I give her a devilish smile and dip my head towards her. 
“That’s true, but no one will ever please you the way I can.”
I’m enjoying our banter, and I expect her to come up with a snappy retort that might make me kiss her again.
Instead, her expression is sad when she says, “I wish I could be happy with that.”
My heart squeezes, and I lift a hand to palm the side of her neck. I wait until she meets my gaze. “We’re more than just sex, darling. I know you need and deserve more. I’m ready to prove that to you.”
I lean in, pressing my lips to her forehead. 
She doesn’t respond as I pivot and head through the living room, letting myself out the door. 
All in all, I think that went very well.
***
I’m back at my wife’s cottage, waiting for my kids as they get ready upstairs. Minnie has finally agreed to go on a daddy-daughter date and George is going to an overnight sleepover birthday party, and I’ll drop him off at his classmate’s house before I take his sister out to dinner. I’ll make sure to make it up to him by taking him on a special one on one date too next week. 
There’s a light rap on the door, and my head swings that way. I have no doubt that it’s Mr Wife-stealer who’s going to take my wife out on a date.
I glance towards the master suite, but the door is closed. YN is probably putting on the finishing touches of her makeup. And the kids are still upstairs.
Nothing left to do but let him in.
Forcing a smile, I open the front door. He blinks in surprise to see me standing there, and I know I’ve got two options here; I could either easily dispel the awkwardness by being cool, welcoming and explaining our schedules happened to overlap.
Or… I could use whatever amount of alone time I have with him to instill some doubt inside his head.
That would be a dirty play, but as I have told my wife, I play to win.
Broadening my smile, I stick my hand out. “You must be Luke. I’ve heard a lot about you. I’m Harry.”
He seems momentarily frozen, but then basic manners take over. When he shakes my hand, it’s a bit limp, perhaps denoting a lack of confidence. After I release him, I bid him entrance with a sweep of my hand. “YN is in the bedroom. She’s still getting ready.”
Luke frowns over the fact that I know YN is in the bedroom. Probably over me even being here to talk to him. But I don’t dispel any innuendo he might glean from that.
I loop an arm around his shoulders, clamp down, and start guiding him to the kitchen. “Come on in and sit for a bit while she’s finishing up. Want a beer?”
Luke moves to one of the island stools, looking completely frazzled. “Uh… no, thank you.”
I shrug, moving to the fridge and opening it. Grabbing a bottle, I say with a sly grin as I close it. “So glad YN still stocks my favourite beer.”
I am so going to hell.
But that’s the truth. It’s my wife’s favourite beer, too, but I don't tell him that. Instead, I let the implication that I come over and have beers often. Luke’s frown deepens.
“YN tells me you work at the Northern General?” I take a sip of my beer, then lean my forearms on the island directly across from him so we’re eye level.
“Yeah… uh, that’s right.” Poor Luke. He seems incapable of carrying on a polite conversation with the husband of the woman he’s dating. 
But I’m going to give him a pass. Setting my beer down, I straighten. “Let me go tell YN you’re here.”
“Um… you don’t have-” he starts to say, but I move past him without a backward glance. Through the living room, down the small hall, and a hard left takes me to the master suite. The door’s closed. I don’t bother knocking because I know YN is dressed.
I find her in the ensuite, her makeup drawer open and she’s huddled over it, touching something inside. 
“Your date’s here,” I announce.
She lets out a yip of fright, shoving whatever it was in her hand to the back and slamming the drawer closed. 
“Damn it, Harry,” she snaps, her palm pressed against her heart. “You scared the hell out of me. And what are you doing in my room?”
“Just running an errand for you. Wanted to let you know your date is here,” I say casually and I give her a mischievous grin. “Don’t worry, I welcomed him in, offered him a drink, and made small talk.”
She rolls her eyes, rising from her vanity chair and moves past me without another word. I start to follow, but then I hesitate and turn back to the drawer of her vanity. Quietly, I pull it open as far as it will go, spotting a picture of YN and me stuffed in the back.
I recognise it. It’s from a trip we took to Anguilla a few years back, just the two of us, and fuck if we didn’t look happy and deeply in love.
Was that what she was looking at when I walked in?
That could be good or bad, but either way, no way to know the answer. I shut the drawer, then catch up to her as she’s moving through the living room. Luke sees her, sliding off the stool. When she holds out her hands, he takes them and leans in to kiss her on the cheek.
Lame.
I sit on the armrest of the sofa, watching. Luke glances over YN’s shoulder at me as he pulls back, smiling victoriously. 
I just smirk back. Because he’d probably lose it if he knew the type of kiss I gave my wife just last night. But I’ll keep that information to myself, though.
YN grabs her handbag off the accent table near the staircase before addressing me. “Make sure Minnie locks up when you leave, and remind George I’ll pick him up at ten tomorrow morning.” 
I give her a jaunty salute. “Aye-aye, Captain.”
In return, I get another eye roll. 
Luke puts his hand on my wife’s back, shooting me a look that says, ‘she’s mine tonight’, and I want to punch his teeth down the back of his throat. I just smile blandly, because, in just a few minutes of talking to him and watching how they interact, I can tell he’s getting nothing more than a friendly kiss when he brings her home.
YN might want to keep pushing at that relationship, but I am willing to bet that it’s not going to go anywhere. I know this, because I’m sure that my wife is still in love with me. 
-
Read part II here!
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