#am i happy? am i sad? what about this isnt working and how do i fix it.

[devildairymilkfairy]

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[etherealkissed88]

★ the whole point of law of assumption is that you already have it ★

imagine that you manifested that desire a week or a month ago. whenever you think about that desire, you would go straight into the happy or calm state / assumption that it's yours already...because it is yours already.

lets say i want $500k right now. i would be planning which stores i want to go to and which clothes i want to buy. i would feel happy asf and i would feel that feeling of already having $500k. i dont care how or when it will manifest bc i already know its mine now. i would feel fulfilled with this already manifested desire which is now my reality.

"why is it that your reality already if it isnt in the 3d?"

reality = imagination. therefore if i imagine something and accept it as true, it is my reality no matter what the copy machine 3d shows me. whatever happens in imagination is what is really happening. imagination is my identity. i identify as the girl who has $500k. the 3d's job is only to copy and paste who i am in imagination (the real reality) so, imagination is the source/the reality. why would i care about it being in the 3d if i know by law that it will reflect? i would rather feel fulfilled as the source than wait for a copy machine to show me, god, what i desire. i would rather give it to myself.

if i already manifested that $500k a week ago, i would automatically be excited asf thinking about all the shit i already bought w that $$$ and thinking about what im going to buy. i would prob imagine going to the store and feeling that feeling of financial freedom. i would feel the happiness of looking at something in the store and immediately putting it in my cart with no issues bc I ALREADY MANIFESTED MY $500k

"feeling?"

feeling = knowing you have your desire

i would use whatever technique i want (visualization, affirming, scripting, etc). lets say i choose visualization: i would visualize walking to the store and feeling/knowing that i have all this money to spend. feeling doesnt mean emotions even though its fine that i naturally feel happy bc i know i have all this money. its also okay if i dont have any emotions or if i feel calm bc since i already have it, its normal to me to have $500k. do not force emotions. feeling does not equal emotions. i would then accept that visualization as true. i would decide/accept i have that $500k bc i just experienced the proof in the real reality, imagination. i would remind myself that whatever i assume/accept as true in imagination is reality, no matter whatever circumstances i see in the 3d.

"you got robbed of a huge sum of money. was that bad or good? well, let me ask you this: did it change the fact that your nature is being wealthy? no, it didnt. your identity, your I AM, is set in stone. its only your thoughts and your interpretation of your emotions and of the circumstances around you that distracts you from your Truth. whether you have millions in your bank account or literally 0 in savings, you ARE rich. you ARE wealthy. numbers do not define you. life does not define you."

i accepted that i have $500k already = i identify as the girl who has $500k. this is why the 3d never matters bc no matter what happens, i will always be the one who has it in imagination. "deny the senses" mean i shouldnt care about what the 3d shows me since imagination is the only reality. if my bank account shows me $0.50 instead of $500k, will i be sad and thinking that it didnt work? ofc not, i wouldnt give a fuck bc i still identify as the girl who already has $500k.

this is why knowing and fulfillment are important. i know i have $500k, i am fulfilled with that fact. whats important is the knowing: i know i have this desire because i just imagined it and imagination is the only true reality so imagining = experiencing.

"how do i know if im fulfilled?"

youve accepted the fact that its already yours. you dont care about the 3d and you dont get discouraged by it bc its already yours in imagination. you are not "trying" to get something that you already have. you naturally think thoughts/have beliefs that match with your state of having it.

to be fulfilled i simply decide i have it or visualize again for fun. since i already identified as the one who has $500k, any thoughts, doubts, circumstances that pass will not get any attention from me. i simply dont identify with them. i go back into imagination and remind myself of my real identity.

this is what law of assumption is: ASSUME YOU ALREADY HAVE IT! CREATION IS FINISHED. YOU ARE ALREADY IN BARBADOS. assume = accept something as final without [3d] proof. the only thing i should be accepting as final is having it in imagination.

if you already have it, how would you feel, what would you do, what would you think, what type of person would you identify as? visualize/affirm/script/etc. the point is that you already have it.

ASSUME IT AND ITS DONE. WHEN YOU THINK ABOUT THAT FULFILLED DESIRE, KNOW IT ALREADY HAPPENED. YOU ARE IMAGINING/AFFIRMING TO REMIND YOU THAT IT BEEN HAPPENED! THATS YOUR CURRENT REALITY! NOT THE 3D.

its not "going to happen". the moment u imagined it/decided it/accepted it as true, it ALREADY HAPPENED. thats part of understanding that imagination is the only true reality. imagination is so limitless: you do anything, anywhere, instantly.

there should not be any "when is it going to happen?" since you just experienced it...thinking like that means you arent fulfilled. simply fulfill yourself again bc returning to the state aka making it natural for you is how it shows up in the 3d, its not about how long youve stayed in the state.

make imagination your dream world by giving yourself exactly what you want. know thats the truth, identify as the one in imagiantion who has it (the real reality/the real you) and ignore/dont accept anything that tells you otherwise. stay true to imagination.

@etherealkissed88

[zan0tix]

May I just say I really really appreciate your approach to and respect for the transfemininity embedded in Homestuck. Like the fact that you depict Jake as a kind of "genderfuck" (for lack of a better word) character without trying to divorce that from transfemininity as so many others do, as well as being able to depict Roxy with certain clocky characteristics without disregarding her femininity or making it feel fetish-y, is all really admirable in my eyes. It gets extremely frustrating seeing large swathes of the fandom constantly trying to separate the story of Homestuck from transfemininity despite it having a transfem enby author, so I really appreciate that you don't shy away from it in your art :)

I am so glad!!!!! Its something ive Always noticed in like every fandom since i first got onto the internet the disparity between the amount of transfems i knew vs how often their story got to be uplifted in fandom spaces or get to be celebrated how transmascs did considering how queer dominated they are but then i grew up and realised how badly male centric queer spaces are too😭

Homestuck is one of the spaces that has a big amount of transfems openly engaging in fandom activities and that makes me really happy to see! since i often see gross rhetoric from transmascs or cis women about fandom spaces abt “who is allowed” and “fandom being a safe space” cough blatant transmisogyny (sobs everywhere its so bad)

I DONT UNDERSTAND HOW PPL BRUSH PAST HUSSIE BEING TRANS SO OFTEN ISNT THAT INSANE. To me it reframes homestuck how the creators of the matrix being trans does. Like I dunno maybe that informed the works presentation of gender somehow. Maybe all the commentary and critique and displays of frustration at the contradictory nature of gender but especially trying to fit “being a man” in society came from somewhere when they were writing it 🤔🤔🤔 hussie said it herself that alot of homestuck was just stream of consciousness. Everything that comes out of daves mouth near the end seemed very plausible to be a reflection of hussies own journey realising that Actually these boundaries of what defines A Good Man and A Good Woman are ridiculous and no person can possibly live up to that no matter what were told from birth.

But i try my best to reflect the innate transfemininity of homestuck and the majority of its cast, its something integral to the works themes and just the community who built it! It saddens me how skittish other transmascs are about engaging with or portraying the transfeminine stories when its just. Practically textual. And all you need to do is Listen and empathise. I love learning how other feminine people see themselves in this story like how often do you get such a menagerie of in depth fem characters. And i love seeing what the experiences transfems see echoed in homestuck are because its all such insightful stuff About femininity and its beauty and its ills all at once. Roxy..kanaya.. wipes tear from my eye.

I want to actively include and celebrate transfem features and bodies as much as transmasc ones get to be around here and i am glad my jake and roxy do feel that way 🥹🥹 my aim with my designs is to make them feel like some everyday people youd see, no fetishisation/sexualisation or demonisation, just Existing and appreciating. Because i know how much it can mean to see yourself in something and for that to be treated with care and kindness. Its why i create in the first place! Because of how others creations gave me that comfort when i couldnt find it elsewhere

I feel similarly about how people portray fat women or just like. Women in general. its sad how badly the whole sexualisation = acceptance warps how people portray things fatness or transfem features. Never ever saying these things arent hot or sexy or to be appreciated. Duh. I think how i portray jake says enough abt what i think of that LOL just that It feels like its the only way people try and show theyre accepting? Which just feels so gross and dehumanising the only way they think to display they feel empathy is through saying “Yeah i can get off to people like you”😭

Rlly bad in society in general so also in the homestuck space. Worlds hardest challenge is liking the alpha kids. Im so sorry for what they do to you jane and roxy🥲🥲🥲 Its baffling because Homestuck is Prime Example Numero Uno of how to humanise characters. Just display them being people; their thoughts, their feelings, their insecurities, their passions, their woes, their loves, their losses. So much can be communicated through how a character speaks with their friends.

I wana do that for jake and roxy! They get to be dimensional too! I like showing their laughs and their sorrows, just them Existing with the people around them. They get to be a part of the lighthearted comedy just as the rest of them do. They get to be a part of all the gender and sexuality insanity going on in their friend group, can point out their flaws and mistakes and insecurities. I dunno its rlly not that hard to just empathise with them and want to tell their stories.

I am so invested in the raw unabashed Humanity of homestuck. Its just one person pouring their brain contents into this huge thing and it displays the best and the worst and the absurdity and the questions. Its so interesting and hussies transness IS JUST BAKED INTO IT. Thus the characters contain that too and it kinda stinks of transmisogyny to throw that out!

YAPPING TOO MUCH OMG but i rlly appreciate this ask🫶🫶🫶makes me so happy to hear

[ancha-aus]

RealAgeAU Drabble - Artist Woes

Hello everyone! I am back with my BS as always and more baby nightmare shenenigans! @spotaus Hope you ready :D

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Ink is a very interesting Pov to write! It was fun! And as always. No beta or anything :D We here to have fun!

*---------------------*

Ink hums a happy song as he slowly sketches out the shape of a very familiar skull. He had beent rying to stay distracted after everything he learned.

He thinks he is doing an okay-ish job! Even if Error calls him an idiot for trying to escape his own new feelings.

Ink just... thinks! He should first get used to his kinda there feelings... and then on his god position! Before he... thinks about some specific feelings.

Ink groans as he grabs his phone and searches the past text messages.

Finding the right conversation quickly.

Hey Ink! Want to hang out with Dream and me? Let me know!

And then the line that Ink blocked his contact.

Ink groans as he just lays on the floor. He is a mess. Why is this so hard? It was never hard to hang out wiht Blue before. It was just nice and easy and it was fun! Now it just feels... different. it feels more important.

Not to forget his stupid feelings now actually work so he realises just how terrified he feels about being an idiot in front of Blue.

Again.

Fuck Blue has seen him do so much stupid shit. How does he deal with that?!

His phone buzzes and he picks it up with a smile before his smile falls. It is a message from Dream.

Of course it isn't a message from Blue. Blue can't send him messages because Ink blocked him!

Which... Blue knows... Ink is sure that Blue hates him or is sad or hurt because of Ink's stupid behaviour and-

HIs phone starts to ring.

Ink almost drops it before picking up "Hey Dream! I was jsut about to answer your text!"

Dream hfufs "Right." he does not sound convinced "Look. I need your help with a situation. Can you come meet us?"

Ink feels his being start to shake slighty. Us. Dream says us. Which means Blue is there!

He hadn't seen Blue since the Gyftmas party. Ink had gotten callen away for more god lessons and he hadn't even had the chance to see if Blue liked the bandana he got him.

And now Ink doens't feel sure enough to ask if Blue likes it. Waht if Blue likes it? What if he doesn't!? What if he likes the bandana but if he hears Ink got it for him he won't like it anymore!?

"Ink?" Dream sounds impatient.

Ink jumps up and rushes to grab his broom "Yeah! Sure! On my way! You send the location?" he has his broom and is already ready to cast the right magic to teleport to another location before remembering he still needs the location.

Dream is silent for a moment before answerign "You feeling okay? We can delay this a few days if you need time to rest-"

"No no no!! I am okay!" Ink rushes to stop Dream. No he needs this! He cna finally hang out wiht Blue again and because Dream is there it will be normal and not at all weird and Ink can maybe try to get an idea of how Blue feels about him and! He needs this! "You send me the location and stuff?"

Dream is quiet for a moment and Ink hears him talk with someone else before Dream answers "I send you it in a text. see you in a bit." and he hangs up.

Ink smiles as he jumps in place as he finds the location. Okay. Okay! He can do this! He can be totally normal! He will have anice hang out and then Blue will think he is cool and maybe Ink can brush off the blocking as an accident thing and everything will be fine!

He uses his broom and melts into a puddle of ink.

It feels like swimming to use his teleporting and he quickly gets to the right location. He jumps out and smiles.

Dream shoots him a grin before shooting the skeleton next to him a smug look. Blue rolls his eye lights at Dream before girnning at Ink himself "Hey Ink."

Ink is frozen. he is wearing the bandana. it looks so good on him but can he just say that? would it be weird for Ink to notice? Ink knows his memory isnt the best. would it seem obsessive if Ink noticed a difference?

Blue's grin falls as he looks worried and to the side. Oh shit he is quiet for too long isn't he?!

Ink rushes over "Hey Blue! Hey dream. It has been a while! I got busy and stuff. God stuff is weird! Hah! I mean Dream knows as well so i don't doubt you know it as well! I mena you two always hang out and stuff so of course you know. Not that that is wrong! I mean you two are best friends! It is normal!"

Oh please shut up shut up why is he still talking?!

Dream and Blue share a look. Blue frowns "Ink? Are you sure you are okay? You are acting weird..."

A snort "Seems normal to me."

Ink looks over and sees Error. Error just looks highly amused from where he is leaning agaisnt the tree. knowing look in his eye sockets.

Oh no. No no no no! Error knows about how Ink feels about Blue!! Well. Kinda feels. His whole soulless situation and feeling through paint together with ascending to godhood got weird and Ink doesn't even fully understand how it works but that is beside the point! Error was just there when Ink figured out he liked Blue a whole lot more than is normal and that is why Error knows! And Ink does not trust him with that knowledge to not make a fool out of Ink to Blue!

Well. Not that Error needs to do anything to make a fool out of Ink. Ink manages that just fine himself apparently.

Blue is frowning at Error "Error that isn't nice. He could be sick."

Error snorts nad mutters "love sick alright." and Ink prays no one heard him.

Blue doesn't react to what error said so maybe ink is lucky! And oh shit Blue is close and checking his temperature! What does he DO?!

Blue frowns "I think he is fine... You sure you feel up for this Ink?"

Ink nods "Yes! of course! Always ready to help you... two!" Ink looks between Blue and Dream before he laughs softly as he rubs his neck "What are we doing?"

Dream sighs "you seriously didn't read my texts?"

Ink slowly takes his phone out and notices that Dream send a long explanation about something to him. something about ink having to meet someone and having to help them with letting this mystery person meet the other gods.

Ink looks up and Dream sighs before nodding "okay fine. I found my brother."

Ink blinks. Something about nightmare? There hadn't been issues wiht nightmare right? Ink can't remember anything being off about him at least...

Dream looks very disapointed and hurt "Did you seriously forget my brother went missing?!"

Ink flinches. right. that. he rubs his arm "sorry..." he is a terrible friend. he had been so busy with god things... right... blue and drema ahd been working on searching for Nightmare and... and ink was too busy to help and after a while he jsut forgot aparently!

Dream sighs and Blue joins his side to support him. It stings a little.

Blue smiles "but everything is fine! We found nightmare and we are working on introducing him to many people to make sure Fate and Balance don't mess with his domain!"

Ink gives a slow nod. he knows he should know more about those two and why it is important but he can't remember at the moment. Ink hopes he will eventually remember "so... we want a truce?" maybe that is it? a truce between Ink and Nightmare?

Not the hnag out Ink wanted but he will take it at this point. He just wishes he never blocked Blue. How is he even suposed to fix that?! He doens't know!

Dream laughs and rubs his neck "I guess you can call ti a truce. Not that it matters with both Nighty and I having switched domains so we aren't even against each other in any way!" He smiles brightly.

Ink feels even worse. Fuck. He forgot. Dream switched domains! That was a whole thing. Also a thing he hadn't helped with. come on. He knows this. He knows which domain it is. something... soemthing about moving on? healing through moving on?

Dream's smile slwoly falls and Ink can hear Blue sigh. Ink holds up his hands "No! No wait! I know this!" he knwos this! come on. He knows this he knows this he knows this! "it... it... it is about... like.. moving on? healing? kinda like determination and keep going?" right? He looks at Dream desperately.

Dream blinks but laughs and nods "honestly? Very close! it is Progression but those things got to do with it."

Blue grins proudly at him "You are remembering things!"

Ink gives aslow nod "kinda..." ish. Not that much. Though he does keep remembering how pretty Blue looks with his new bandana. The neutral grey but silver and blue highlights are so pretty on him.

Error groans "Are we done yet? We got a schedule to keep here." he huffs and crosses his arms.

Dream focusses too "We are. Ink?"

Ink nods and grins "Lets make a truce!"

A voice "Finally! This was getting boring" and Killer jumps down from the tree branches.

Ink has his broom ready but Blue rushes to his side and pushes his arms down "No! No fighting! we cool!" Ink froze but not because Blue stopped him or what he said. but because Blue is holding his hand! wlel more like just pushing his hands down but it counts! Ink is totally counting it as them holding hands!

Killer grins at them "Anyway. Meet. Boss! Or well... tiny boss" and he grins. As he waves to the side and Cross jsut appears out of thin air with a child in his arms.

Ink frowns and stares before looking at Killer "I know my memory is bad.. but wasn't nightmare like... adult and gooped?" he looks at Blue to double check.

Blue smiles at him and nudges their shoulders togther "true! But Nightmare got deaged when he finished his job as god connected to balance. He went back to how he was before getting that job." and he nods over to Cross who is holding the tiny skeleton.

Ink blinks and stares at Nightmare.Nightmare just looks back at him.

Ink is hit with a dejavu and snorts "Oh yeah i can see it now. got the exact same 'you are an idiot' look as his older version." and he leans against broomie.

Blue laughs from beside him and Ink puffs his chest up a tiny bit. He got this. he got this!

Nightmare huffs and pouts as he leans clsoer to cross "Well he is an idiot."

Cross purrs as he nuzzles the skull "You are 100% right."

Ink looks ar Dream and Blue "So... what now?"

Dream smiles "We need to meet the other gods. but the more gods on our side the better." Dream sighs "Especially meeting the other gods..."

Ink frowns as he tilts his skull "Why?"

Reaper is floating nearby as he speaks and hey when did Reaper get here? "Because of Fate and Balance. We don't think they will like Nightmare not falling into either of their domains anymore."

Ink frowns and he finally remembers! "Right! They were real mad when you picked your domain right Dream?"

Dream grins "Yup! They tried to make me switch but they couldn't because everyone knew my job by then. We are trying to get Nightmare the same setup."

Ink rubs his broom as he speaks "what... euh... is the domain anyway?" they hadn't mentioned that right? he checks with blue but blue just smiles at him. So they probably didn't tell yet!

Blue looks at the gang and it is Killer who answers "Nightmare is a god of Restoration!" he nuzzles Nightmare and nightmare just looks grumpy but doens't turn away from the attention.

Ink frowns as he thinks "So... we are going to meet the other gods now?"

Blue nods as he smiles at him "That is the plan! Can you come with as extra support?"

Ink nods "sure!" He would follow Blue anywhere.

Blue smiles back.

Maybe this isn't a complete mess up just yet.

*---------------------*

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[godly-rambles]

this isnt what i normally post but it's important to me that i say this

before you block me, please just hear me out

it scares me how much of alterhuman tumblr (and alterhumans in general) support(s) endogenic systems

systems are people who experienced severe repeated trauma before the age of nine. by removing the trauma factor its impossible to form alters.

before you turn nine, every emotion is a different state of self. (thank you @/quoigenicfromhell for helping me to understand this bit better) essentially you are a different person when you're hungry, happy, sad, scared, etc. when you experience such severe trauma that your body decides it's unsafe for your personalities to merge, THATS when you become a system.

Severe Repeated Childhood Trauma.

that is how systems form, thats literally how it works. the trauma factor is what makes the system a system

i wouldnt say im anti-endogenic, more like i'm endogenic cautious.

again i am all for hearing people out, please tell me your thoughts in the reblogs or comments, but this is just my personal take on it.

i wish no harm to people who identify as endogenic, live however you want to live.

this is how I've interpreted the topic as someone who isn't really qualified to have a take on it, i just wanted to share some of my thoughts.

UPDATE: I've read through the reblogs and comments on my take, and I still dont fully understand the identity itself, but it makes more sense now. Thank you to everyone who helped to explain it, I appreciate your help

I see everyone in the reblogs/comments talking about how being an endogenic system doubles as being alterhuman, but I really don't understand how that could be the case. If anyone's willing to explain it further please do

[violetisderp]

OMG

YOU SEE THIS???

RIGHT HERE????

MY RANDOM HEAD CANNON, MERHEHEHEHE.

I like to think he dosnt speak, and uses sign language. It dosnt say he dose in this but STILL. AND I KNOW ITS MOST LIKELY REFERING TO THE CARTOON BUT IDC.

I am just happy about random things lol.

Also i have abit of a theory for Bobby Bearhug (Big body)

Cause it's said she has spasuims or idk how to spell it. But like, she's also not responsive and stuff and they had to fix stuff.

The words are kinda hard to read so, I'll write them here;

Subject

Bobby Bearhug: Smiling Bigger Bodies Initiative

Observations

Three hours following awakening-observations:

Her body continues to spasm Eyelids flutter. Paws twitch.

Subject doesn't seem to show any awareness of where she is. Could sensory functions be distorted, or altogether absent? We speak to her, try to get her attention by makeing sounds, but she dose not register our attempts.

The auditory nerve in the ears directly communicates sound to the auditory cortex in the brain. It appears we may have failed at wiring the connective cords and might be forced to go back under the knife to fix this. A lack of response seems to indicate the necessity of this task.

It's clear that our procedures still haven't corrected issues with vocals, ethier. Her mouth moves, as if to speak, but nothing is said. We'll need to correct these procedures with subsequent subjects if we're to potentially have these toys interact with our children.

-End-

SO. For a unknown period of time, she couldn't speak or hear, but as far as I'm aware it says nothing about physical contact. So, I'm assuming she can still FEEL, but hearing and speaking she couldn't do. (Obviously)

There abit easier to read but I'll write them out just incase;

Several hours after awakening. She tried to stand and walk to the other side of the cell but couldn't keep her balance. She looks to be searching for help. Continuing to spasm.

She's trying to scream, but she has no voice. She's silent. I'm not sure if she knows she's not making any sound.

Conclusions:

Work will need to be done to perfect the Bigger Body formula we began with Boxy. Each iteration improves on the former. However, if we're to meet Dr. Sawyer, and produce Bigger Bodies subjects that we can integrate into a factory setting, then more work will need to be done.

As it stands, Bobby will require further experimentation. If we're to create Subject 1188 according to schematics, then each of these "Smiling Critters" will prove a good testing ground for ironing out these issues.

-end-

SO. It seems they did some more tests and put her "under the knife" some more. It dosnt seem like it helps much for her movements but it's better then motionless. Now I'm not sure if they manage to fix her speaking and hearing,

Also, the little Doodle at the bottom, you can slightly see her ribs, but with CatNap you can fully see his ribcage and he is oddly skinny. But with dogday he ISNT skinny (which also funny cause he was left to hang, now i have other theorys for that but on were on about bobby.)

Ik it's a sketch BUT STILL.

Sooooooooo, from what we know from what dogday said:

"Im.. the last.. of the smiling critters" (R.I.P sad boi-)

So we know Bobby has to have died, but we don't know how, so she has to have died from SoMtHiNg. So she could have straved to death, from what poppy told us in chapter 3 (deep sleep)

Somthing about how they hid the bodies and "feasted on them."

And from what we know about Mrs. Delight, how she killed who she saw AS HER OWN SISTERS to stay alive. And so they very much can starve.

But Bobby could have also died from one of the surgerys she went under, while trying to fix her hearing or her speaking.

She had to have gone under quite abit "to fix her" and the problems she was having.

SPEAKING OF EATING A DRINKING, how do they eat and drink, they speak and there mouth stays open cause there in a plush so uhm-? And mommy long legs mouth moves but not the smiling critters, it stays open so like... how..?

Sorry about the ramble I was just having a moment

[river13245]

Cookies and laughter

Navigation / Criminal Minds Masterlist

Aaron Hotchner x gn reader

The sound of your phone vibrating on the kitchen island is what made you stop what you were doing to pick it up. You didn't even have to bother to look at who it was calling you because you had a special ringtone for your husband. That was different from everyone else.

After answering the phone you place it on your shoulder and lean your head to the side so it doesn't fall. "Hi Aaron" his name left your lips in a smooth sounding way. You knew that when Aaron called you during work he didn't want to be reminded of work so you called him by his name or a pet name when you were feeling extra brave.

It took a moment for him to respond and when he did you could tell by the tone of his voice that he was agitated and not in a very good mood. "hi sweetheart. I'm going to be home a bit earlier than planned tonight" He never spoke about his job over the phone. He just wanted to focus on your voice and the thought of you at home with jack.

You were surprised that he was coming home earlier because usually he is calling you saying that he will be later. However it went well with your plans, you just had to hurry up the pace. "Okay great. Ill make us some food and we can all have a relaxing night" The sigh that leaves his lips has you smiling. "that sounds amazing. I've got to go but I love you"

"I love you too" When the call ended you placed your phone back onto the counter and went back to baking cookies. You had been making cookies so that Jack could decorate some for his father before he got home. The tree had been put up with the help of your husband a few days ago but it was left undecorated. Tonight will be the last night it isnt lit up with lights and decorations because the three of you will be making this home more christmasy

As you pull out the cookies and place the tray on top of the stove Jack comes into the room. "it smells really good in here" he says as he comes up beside you to look at the cookies. "well I am the best baker in the state so it better smell good in here" This earns a laugh from the young boy.

Going to the fridge to get icing and some other things you didn't even have to look over to know that he was trying to grab a cookie to eat already. "They are hot. No touching" He looks at you like a deer in headlights and he has the same look on his face that Aaron does when you tell him no. "how did you even know I was grabbing one?"

His words make you smile as you place the items on the big table. "I see everything. There's not much that your able to sneak past me" Jack laughs a little and sits at the table. "ill grab you a butter knife so you can spread the icing around"

Once everything is set up you had left Jack to the cookie decorating while you go get out ornaments that they had in boxes. There was Christmas music playing throughout the house that Jack had requested earlier today and its been playing ever since.

As you placed a box down you hear Jacks voice from the kitchen "can you come decorate with me?" How could you ever say no to that. "yeah I'm coming" you set the box to the side so it wasn't in the way and went and sat beside Jack at the table.

Jack had made a gingerbread man that resembled a bit like his father and so you smile and point to it. "is that your father as a gingerbread man" He ends up laughing and nodding "Yes that is who it is. Doesn't it look great!"

It had black icing for the hair and a face with a huge smile because that's all Jack ever seen of his father. He knew his father was a happy man. Of course he had seen his father upset, sad and all other emotions but happiness and laughter is how Jack sees him and it made your heart ache from the amount of love you felt for the both of them. "It looks fantastic Jack"

The two of you continued to decorate the cookies and by the time that Aaron got there the both of you were singing along to the music that you barely noticed him. He had time to take a few photos of the both of you before you noticed. Jack is the first one to run up to him and hug his father while you stay back. Then when he makes his way to you, you place a kiss to his lips.

Jack makes a disgusted sound and it causes the both of you to laugh and then when Aaron looks at the cookies he sees the one that looks like Aaron and he looks at Jack "did you make that" When he nods Aaron smiles "it looks really good. In fact I might just have to eat it first" He grabs it and takes a bite and he nods letting you know its good.

"go get into some comfortable clothes we are going to decorate the tree and watch a Christmas movie" He laughs as you practically shoo him out of the kitchen.

When he leaves to go to the bedroom you clean everything up and place the cookies on a plate so that they can be eaten throughout the night.

Then when it is time to decorate the tree, the three of you have it lit up with colorful lights and decorations and then its the hassle of putting up the star on the top so when jack gets the star out he goes to his dad and he lifts him up as he places it on the tree.

After that's all finished you put on the the Grinch because its your favorite and also Jack loves it too. The both of you mouth some of the lines to each other and laugh while Aaron just looks at his family in complete adoration and halfway throughout the movie the three of you are asleep in the same bed. Jack in between the both of you curled up.

[cressthebest]

Crimson Rivers thoughts pt. 48

chapter 74:

1. NOT SIRIUS TELLING REMUS TO FUCK HIM AND THEN FINDING OUT HIS DAD IS ON THE PHONE. ID DIE- 💀💀

2. not remus going from: FUCK ME PLEASE to never touch me again, i am unworthy and but an evil temptress

he just went from one shade of dramatic to the next

3. “Remus likes that he can leave doors open and come and go as he pleases. He likes that he can just randomly take a walk whenever he wants, going anywhere and as far as he wants to, hearing the birds sing and letting his new home leave a lasting imprint in his mind, taking shape, something to settle in. He likes that he has the freedom to do anything, and really, all he ever wants to do is just—exist. Just be”

crying when i literally have an exam tomorrow at eight am. 💃🏼💃🏼💃🏼

4. wolfstar is living my dream. i can’t even begin to tell you. they’re living my dream. i’m so unwell knowing that they get everything i want. i’ve never wanted to be sirius more in my life at this point

5. BWAHAHAHHAHAHAHA SIRIUS PROPOSES WITH A SPOON i- that’s the faggotiest thing i’ve ever seen

6. awwwwwwwww remus said yes!! this is the cutest proposal i have ever seen in my life

7. they.. they are making out on the dirt ground of the market surrounded by people

8. “"Was it at least a nice spoon?"

"Worst spoon I've ever seen."”

LMAOOO

9. god i love sapphics. lily has the most dramatic proposal planned for mary. i love lily

10. awwww lily’s gonna have a baby with mary sometime in the near future. they have their own little family!!! i get so happy thinking about it

11. “In Alice's story, he may be the villain, but in his? In his, there was no villain, just pain, and now peace.” yes yes yes YES

12. awww it’s both sad that sirius leaves his mind during his wedding but also so sweet that remus stops the wedding so sirius can remember every bit of it

13. i cried at how happy sirius was to find out that remus waited for him at their wedding

14. pandora has no shame oh my god

15. but also!!!! canon polyam couple 💃🏼💃🏼

16. FHSHDJSJSKJDKDKSJKSKD REMUS AND SIRIUS ARE GONNA BE FOSTER PARENTS OH MY GOD

17. remus being there for lily during the pregnancy test is so special to me. what if i gnawed plastic or mulch or chomped glass? huh? huh???

18. holy shit. regulus babysits for one afternoon and suddenly he’s adopted two more kids. jesus he works fast

19. HARRY!!

20. domestic jegulus raising kids!!!!!!!!!! AND LILY ISNT SURROGATE!! SHES RAISING HARRY WITH MARY!!! 💃🏼💃🏼💃🏼

21. oh gosh they’re gonna adopt teddy, huh? i can’t wait for this oh my god

22. uhhh i was so invested in the story that i literally don’t have anything else to say about the end of this chapter. i was so fixated on this i swear

chapter 75: FINAL ONE OMG

1. remus is being so gay over sirius in a dress. and bud, me too. me toooo

2. “”You want to know something?"

"What?"

Regulus watches the rain come down, his lips still curled up as he murmurs, "I would have volunteered for you, too."”

i’m crying so bad over here. tbh i think my period is about to begin because i also cried over the episode in my little pony where they all tell the stories of how they got their cutie marks and then the mane six find out they were all connected by rainbow dashes sonic rain boom.

3. i finally recovered then got emotional over the horcrux hornet

4. shdjsjjsjsjs the hat made a full circle

5. EVAN!!! look every time i forget about him, his presence comes back to smack me in the face and hurt me

6. 😟 that’s it? i’m done? i’ve been reading this for months, and i finally finished. i feel both so completed and so very incomplete.

7. it’s over. huh. it’s really over. well. yeah.

[pacific-rimbaud]

ok so I'm obvs happy that you are, but what you said abt not writing was kinda sad. Tamsyn Muir isnt as well know as Colleen hoover, it doesnt mean that she didn't find her people, or that she is less talented, or that her ideas aren't inspiring. and yeah if Colleen hoover readers picked up a Tamsyn Muir book they would probably dnf it so what? who needs them anyway? this doesnt say anything about how much the right people aren't going to love Tamsyn's words or that she should give up on writing

This is ABSOLUTELY true, and thank you for saying it. People should write what's in their heart and put it out there if they want to. There are so, so many examples of people doing their own unique thing and finding success with it.

And I want to say with my whole chest that my need to step back from writing has nothing to do with feeling like my readership or stats were "not enough" in some way. Nothing could be further from the truth. My whole life I've wanted to be a cult classic, and I am! It's been the honor of my creative life.

My considerations are solely around the economics of publishing and what would be sustainable for me personally as a working parent. Writing is extremely time consuming for me. I'm slow! It's an unfortunate fact. I also like to choose projects that require a lot of research. When I'm actively drafting, parts of my life that matter a lot to me are sidelined. And without going into gorey detail about traditional publishing, the likelihood I would ever be able to replace any part of my day job with writing is vanishingly small. Tamsyn's a genius and has earned every glorious genius dollar that comes her way. I'm a voicey writer with ideas like: Jane Eyre x Gosford Park but what if there was magic and communists and a love triangle that was resolved with polyamory? 🧐 Potion-induced bodice ripping in the Victorian magic lab! Actually i should write that.

Anyway, it all circles right back round to being a hobby. I have a job that my household relies on and kids who need help with their homework. If I can figure out how to keep the Victorian bodice ripping in a sensible compartment, I'll come back to it. But until that day! If I get good enough at pottery, I may be able to sell enough at the ceramics sale to pay for the class 😎

[just-queue]

Final thoughts on Five x Lila situation

I get it. But I don’t want it.

I get it because of the following:

- Five deserved a piece of happiness after his long sad lonely life

- Five also acted totally in character the whole time. He retired and found connection with someone. Of course he didn’t want to leave. But also of course he eventually revealed he found a way home, because he knows it’s right.

- Lila was struggling with suburban life, and allowed herself to fall into this fantasy of living off the grid with someone who treasures her. The SECOND home was found, the fantasy broke and she didn’t run from it.

- Lila didn’t “trade suburban housewife with being a cottagecore wife”. Her life with Diego involved a pessimistic husband, organizing loud children’s birthday parties at arcades, living with family, balancing children schedules, etc. The time in the greenhouse involved survival, which is more “adventurous” than suburban life. It’s also paradoxically more peaceful.

- The mental vs physical age thing and age gap isn’t a big deal in canon for these characters based off their previous work fucking with time

- I did love seeing two hard-ass stressed badass characters be soft for one another.

- After six years, the growing hopelessness and realization they may never go back home, you’re going to intimately connect to each other in ways no one will ever be able to match, regardless of your past experiences with them. This is a very common troupe in fiction.

- Technically it was cheating, but I think the post-apocalyptic space-time forced proximity desperation is a very valid excuse and shouldn’t be seen as cheating, ESPECIALLY when she went back home the second she knew she could.

- Aidan as an adult gave consent to the scenes. We need to realize he isn’t a kid anymore, he can decide what he wants to do and we should respect it.

I don’t want because of the following

- I still feel icky that Lila knew Five with a child body, and now has romantic feelings for him? THATS the taboo troupe I personally can’t get behind. Age difference? Weird but fine. Knowing them as a child? Nope. But I also get this is a personal preference/feeling/reaction with the fiction I consume. And I know I said before their previous professions shows they know different mind/body age, but that doesn’t change the fact he had a child body when they met and she watched him grow up.

- It also feels icky the importance the writers put on Five having a romantic subplot RIGHT when Aidan was of age. Especially cause Five / Aidan are so sexualized. It’s not necessarily WRONG, I just feel icky about it.

- It was shortened because the season was short, so it didn’t land as well as it could.

Here’s the main reason I didn’t want it.

IT DIDNT NEED TO BE ROMANTIC LOVE.

I am aroace. I understand that deep intimate connections can be made without romance. Similar to how everyone says Frodo and Sam were gay lovers when in reality strong platonic bonds can reach that level of devotion and intimacy. Not every character needs a romantic partner, and Five never displayed any romantic or sexual affection for ANYONE until this.

(Before you say anything, YES he did have Delores, but that was also just a need for connection when alone for decades. That doesn’t change the fact she’s not a real person, and he would very unlikely be attracted to her without the traumatic apocalypse world.)

ROMANCE. ISNT. NEEDED. FOR. DEEP. CONNECTIONS. we could have had two platonic soulmates living a happy life together, with kisses on the top of their heads, sitting shoulder to shoulder reading books, holding hands while looking for scrape metal. BUT NO. IT HAD TO BE ROMANTIC. UGH.

Like the stuff post-subway could have been similar still without a dumb love triangle. Five could have been Lila’s person, like Meredith and Christina in Greys Anatomy. And when Five sees Diego and knows Lila’s feelings about their marriage and such, he would go into protective mode.

I will admit I’m bitter about media putting romance on a pedestal. And I’m also not saying Five should be canonically aromantic and/or asexual. I just feel the weird parts of the situation would have been “fixed” if it wasn’t romantic, just a true platonic bond.

[petrifiedperi-au]

Holy ok ok ok so I just read your dev having trouble with being around Cosmo and Wanda but I bring you a different approach. What if he is mad at them! Trying to shift some of this huge amount of guilt because at least he went to Peri! His own parents left him alone to die. (I can’t remember if you said if they actually knew where he was or not)

Oh lordy oh ok gewze imagine Dev having this moment of realising he has something in common with Peri because he sees his parents as neglecting him. How sad would that make Dev? To realise how much guff he gave Peri cause he thought Peri couldnt relate at all. So he pushed him away but then thinking how wrong he was and how Peri did understand. (Even though we know cosmo and wanda are nothing like Dale and really did love Peri just saw a different priority) but the potent agnst of Dev having a miss understanding of it. Everytime Peri tries to deny it Dev relates. Everytime Cosmo and Wanda gush over Peri makes Dev fume because he sees it as all a show. He thinks he knows how it is behind closed doors. Even if hes actually wrong. It could really help them bond. Until Dev finally sees hes wrong and it’s gonna make a huge rift between them as he blames Peri for pretending to have a bad relationship with his parents. Probably saying it was to “mock” Dev or something.

On another note. Do you think Peri would actually be upset that his parents decided to save fairyworld instead? Maybe rationally he tells himself it was the better choice. That it was what ended up bringing him back. It was what saved all the other fairies who take priority. Hes just one guy. But thats still gonna hurt. Knowing your own parents can and have picked the masses over you. Knowing you arent worth the world to them. Of course he wouldnt actually expect them to choose him but maybe deep down he wanted them to? Idk im loosing it cause I just got off ruff 12hr shift at work lol.

Hope this isnt too off the money for your au I just really enjoy angst

~hollys fairy hell

[AU info here!]

OOOOHHH... THIS IS INTERESTING. WHILE C&W DIDN'T KNOW THAT PERI DIED, DEV BEING ANGRY BECAUSE OF THAT IS... OUGH. I think it DOES check out, actually. Feeling angry that they didn't even KNOW their son died, the blame being shifted to help ease the guilt... IT MAKES SENSE, AND IT'S IN CHARACTER.

He's seen their relationship before, and he knows that they're all such a genuinely happy family, and that makes him feel not ONLY GUILTIER, but MORE FRUSTRATED, MORE ANGRY. Their own son DIED, in front of HIM, and they DON'T EVEN KNOW.

HEAR ME OUT... DEV NOT KNOWING THAT C&W DON'T KNOW UNTIL PERI MENTIONS IT. Him assuming that they ALREADY told their parents, and that's why he was absent for a few days. THE GUILT SHIFTING INTO A MISDIRECTED ANGER ONCE PERI MENTIONS THAT THEY DON'T KNOW AND THAT THEY WANT TO KEEP IT FROM THEM... of COURSE, the guilt is still there, but it blends in with the other feelings and it's a Very Complicated Feeling Soup.

THE MISUNDERSTANDING IDEA IS NEAT... AND IN-CHARACTER. I don't know for SURE how I'd implement it [because my brain is very picky about the things I add, and I am too...], make it go, and ALL those good, delicious, juicy things, BUT BUT it will go on the backburner of thoughts. Specifics would probably just come to me randomly at 2 am like they have been lately gHDLSHSLHD 😭

WITH THE LAST PART... PERI DOESN'T KNOW WHAT HAPPENED SPECIFICALLY. He was DEAD, after all, and SURE, he'd probably find out via things being talked about, BUT, GENERALLY, I DON'T THINK THEY ADDRESS OR THINK ABOUT THOSE THINGS.

Hazel's Wish fixed EVERYTHING that happened in the episode, and I talk about how the whole Millio Wishes Thing worked here, actually! I have a vague idea of how things go with Peri after they come back, but I don't have any set in stone ideas yet/there's no established timeline. I think... THEY don't even know at first, they're just confused at the fuzzy gaps in their memory and then, once they get a closer look at themself and the GHOST thing happens [when they're alone] and all that... THEN they put details together and realize they They Fucking Died.

WHICH... PERI DOESN'T UNPACK THAT. NOT MUCH, ANYWAY. The finale ends as usual, with the motorcycles and all that— that's BEFORE he realizes there might be something off. DO YOU GET ME... LIKE...

THE ENDING ESTABLISHES THAT THINGS ARE OK AND NORMAL BUT THEN AFTER THE EPISODE, THEY GO BACK TO THEIR HOUSE/ROOM/C&W'S HOUSE [ALONE] AND THEN THAT IS WHEN HE KIND OF REALIZES HE FEELS OFF AND WEIRD. AND... OUGH. YEAH.

SORRY I'M... GETTING OFF TRACK. I don't think he'd be upset, not in that way, at least, given the circumstances. I DON'T KNOW IF THIS MAKES SENSE OR IF IT'S JUST WORD SOUP I'M SO SORRY I JUST WOKE UP LIKE AN HOUR AGO. I am throwing words at the wall and hoping they make sense HDJDDGKDDUI 😭

[walking-loather]

Went on a date and they were like "I'm sorry you're disabled". My first thought was to get frustrated or feel patronised, but, that doesn't get us anywhere. So i thought about it and tempered my reaction, and what I came to was this: they're sad, but I'm not!

I understand the impulse to feel bad about my life situation. I get it. It sucks. Like objectively. It bums me out too sometimes.

But im not sorry I'm disabled, I'm happy I'm alive! Im happy with disability, not in spite of it. It's a part of my life. I can no more be miserable about my disability than I can be about getting a bad haircut. It's a part of me and I can either live with it, or I can suffer. If those are my options i choose live with it. Its really that simple and drastic.

Disability means pain, yes, but pain does not mean suffering. I am in pain every day of my life, but I do not suffer. How does that work? I live my life. I live! Isn't that wonderful? I am alive and I have a good, privileged life! I have friends. I have community. I have family. I have passions. So long as i can find the good, I am not focused on my pain, and if i am not focused on my pain it cannot consume me, and if it cannot consume me then I cannot suffer.

My disability is just another thing that is part of me. I don't look at what I can't do. I look at what I want to do, and I find a way to get there.

My life looks different from an able bodied person's life. It just does, and it always will. It's going to be different. I can either embrace it, or I can be miserable. I can either live with it or i can suffer.

I choose to embrace it. I choose to live with it.

It wasn't easy to do so, don't get me wrong. I was miserable for such a long time. I wanted to die; I wanted to die so badly. I thought there was no worth in my life and that I'd never be worth anything. But that's not true.

My life is beautiful. It's not exactly what i wanted for myself, and yeah, if i could wave a magic wand and be in a perfect body... I wouldnt even hesitate to take that option. But that's not gonna happen. So i look at what I have, and I'm so grateful to have it in the first place.

I could be so much worse off. Im fortunate. Im lucky. Im an immigrant success story. I live in a better land. Im happy here. Im well integrated. This place is my home. My country looks after me. I dont want for food. I dont want for shelter. Thats amazing. So if I can look at the little things that im grateful for and build from there...

I dont have all the abilities i want. I will never have everything I want, no matter how simple it may seem. So instead, I will be grateful for what I do have.

Im not sorry i'm im a wheelchair! Im happy! How many people in the world dont have a wheelchair who need one? Im fortunate to have one. My wheelchair is freedom. My world opened up when i got my wheelchair the same way it did when i got my licence.

My life may be sad to you, but its not sad to me. And if its not sad to me, then its not sad! You dont have to feel sad for someones disability. I think its natural to want them to be able to do the same things you can, or to achieve the same things you can. I think you should foster that desire into finding ways to help bridge the gap between what someone can do and what they cant. Access is how you bridge that gap.

Feeling sad for someone with disability is a natural empathetic response. I think its wrong to shame people for it, but it is worth it to redirect their thinking. They are sad for me, but its because they can only see limits. But disability isnt about seeing limits, its about finding out how to move past them.

My life might look sad to you, but you dont know what i can do. You dont know how far ive come. You dont know what my life looks like beyond my disability because you've never been shown that. Its not a story thats told. And i dont mind showing you that theres more to my story than what i cant do.

So, i dont mind if someone tells me theyre sorry im in a wheelchair. Im not. Lets get past that impulse of empathy, and have a real conversation. Because you'll see that i'm not sad. I have a rich life and im happy. Once you can see all that joy, the wheelchair becomes secondary. Of course i'm happy, my life is good.

The wheelchair. The disability. Its set dressing. Its the stage my life takes place on. We cant ignore it. Its there. But it is not so big that it robs goodness from my world.

Am I happy about having my disability? No. But I'm not sad about it. Not anymore.

And that is going to be true about any other disabled person you meet. We dont need pity, because our lives dont warrant it. We dont need you to feel bad for us, because there is no need to feel bad. Its just life. Thats how it goes sometimes.

Once a disabled person's hit the acceptance stage, there's really no need to offer them your sympathies anymore. Be happy with them in their life, however that looks.

[ultra-raging-ghost]

I REACHED POST LIMIT SO HERES MY POST FROM 9:20 ONWARD

"Goodbye my three little ones, your father has to go"

"Im sorry chat, i guess ill just speak from the heart. the way i lost dapper and pomme i dont think i really.. had time to process, so losing him like this feels like losing all three of them at the same time"

Visiting bagis... poor zeno fucking died to a rooster LMAO i missed bagis place so fucking bad

searching for pepito.... where is my baby.... where is my little pepito, there pepito is

Bad doesnt really know what to do with himself, hes still sad but richas is like. Officially gone. Which is a crazy thing to process. I was having a hard time dealing with it but i think richas' final goodbye made me feel a lot better about it,it doesnt feel like theres a nail in the back of my brain now, im a little more content with this at least. Wont really be happy about it, but more content with it

We're gonna go leave a richas flower (blue orchid) at bagi's old base <3 just like how we left a cornflower at a place special to pomme.

hehehe agent 18/panks_ is in chat and theyre tormenting bad for fun

Offering pepito the opportunity to visit one last place, bad plans on coming back and visiting a couple final places sometime soon, not tonight but soon. Probably gonna end after pepito picks where to go

pepito cant think of anywhere, bads picking one more place to go

PEPITO TIME AT THE OFFICIAL DAPPER TIME SPOT??? LETS GOOOOO

Pepitos gonna be temporarily dapper while in the official dapper time spot <333

bads back, i got so comfortable in the old house that i forgot we have to leave. Just a wave of sadness washed over me, it feels like leaving home all over again, it feels like we should be able to walk into the old spawn from dappers train station and see pierre and pomme and etoiles again

pomme in chat... assuring bad she and dapper wont be leaving any time soon. Bad promises us he has some really fun stuff hes been working on he thinks we'll enjoy, this journey isnt over

while waiting for pepito we're reminiscing on when he had to triangulate the Dont have Your Gun thing that was playing that he couldnt find LMAO

currently visiting the old subway bad was building with dapper underground.... the new terrain generation generated a FULL end city RIGHT next to it!!!!

gonna visit bobby fields another day, thats another day issue, but dapper wanted to go see it with him lol

Bad found out Lullah and Richas were leaving yesterday, sounds like he didnt know chay was leaving till today

BOOOOOOOO BOOOOOO BOO IS HERE!!!! HELLO BOO!!!!!!

Pepitos playing around in the balloons Boo left <33

Bad: Yeah i remember when pomme and dapper came in one of these end cities and scared the muffins out of me Pomme: ?????? Pomme: bro you were dead Bad: I STILL REMEMBER.......

We're gonna go play Wordlos (or however you spell it) one last time before leaving the old spawn <3 gonna see if we can get it to work!!!

kinda works!!! Kinda!!! It mostly works!!!! gonna play!!!!!

"I am so proud of your spanish uncle bad!!! its a great advance to know how to explain something, its the most important thing"

We're looking at the paintings, this is it for the day. Richas logged off with bads statue painting so hes probably never gonna see that again LMAO "thats why we get screenshots"

Pepitos saying a little goodnight to the ghosties <33 pepitos gonna eat all of us up because we're so cute. "I see everything, too. EVERYTHIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNNNGGGGGGG". Pepitos telling us to rest, eat, and drink water, and do our favorite things. We deserve it, to remember not to be sad it ended but be happy it happened at all <3

Bads planning on streaming tomorrow, hes not 100% sure what we'll be doing but he isnt gonna let this crank his steam

Pepitos planning on getting on tomorrow! or whenever! pepito doesnt know when pepito gets on LMAO

Thats all for todays stream, ending at 10:15, goodnight bad, richas, pomme, and dapper <3

[safetycar-restart]

Little Charles haven’t seen his mommy in a week cause she’s away and his miserable but she suprised him by coming back early and he’s sooooo happy not leaving her lap clutching to her, making him fed her

I am ALWAYS down for some soft subby Charles with mommy!! Always!!

Maybe this happens during the break? Charles is usually quite good at being without you for exactly a week. He's used to that with race weekends, and while of course he doesn't like it, he does manage it. Especially because he facetimes you before bed every night and he messages you throughout the day and he knows you always watch all his practice sessions and races.

(Sidenote: maybe you specifically always watch his onboards? So if Charles isnt near the front you don't even know whose leading and you don't care.)

But during breaks? He has programmed his little mind so that breaks are for him and mommy! Yes he of course will have things he has to do and you will have work and whatnot, but you two always go with each other everywhere. He doesn't part with his mommy during the breaks, those are the rules! And if you can't get off work and have to stay in Monaco then he stays in Monaco! Always with mommy.

But maybe you have a work thing that means you have to leave for a week and he has several photoshoots with different brands in Monaco throughout that week so he can't leave.

It breaks his little heart, because this is not how it's supposed to be! It's the winter break! And that means he shouldn't be without his mommy for more than a few hours!

Needless to say, your little one is miserable. Absolutely miserable, and even through he tries to act like he isnt over the phone, he so clearly is.

He isnt angry with you, of course not. Logically he knows this is just bad timing and no one's fault, but he's so sad! Sad and without his mommy.

Maybe you had to travel for a conference? You present your talk and then you get permission to attend the rest of the conference online and go back to Charles early.

You don't tell him anything. He just comes home after a photoshoot and sees his mommy sitting on the couch waiting for him.

Naturally he stares at you in disbelief for a few seconds, and then just starts crying and flings himself onto the couch with you. He's on your lap within seconds, curling up and crying happy tears because mommy! Mommy is back!!!

He doesn't let you go for the rest of the night, babbling on and on about how lonely he was and how miserable his photoshoots were and how happy he is that you're home. He doesn't even let you shower alone, immediately getting up when you do because he's not letting you out of his sight.

You still have to attend the other conferences virtually, which is completely fine with him because he can curl up at your feet and be a good little subby darling and it's exactly what he needed.

And obviously you don't leave him for the rest of the break.

[earlysunshines]

idk if anyone has told you but i js wanted to say that your works are so beautifully written, like you make everything so descriptive and really realistic which gives me the chills. when i read fluff from other author's works, it's still good and simple but my only thoughts are "omg fluff, this is so good!" however when i read yours, i actually take my time to read your work carefully because the way you describe everything so vivdly is so well. even the responses of the people in the fic are so realistic because i can genuinely imagine them saying/doing something like that. i really love your slowburn fics because you take the time to actually make it feel like there's a connection in the storyline, just like shows. like when you wrote the danielle x y/n fic where they were doing volunteering work was just so top tier since we get to know how the characters are in the fic; their personality, how they react about something. sorry idk how to explain 😞😞 but its just that some people rush their works and i feel like there's isnt any connection in it because they rushed it so much that we couldn't exactly understand anything if ykwim. for example, some authors are writing angst but there's barely any description and it's just so rushed that im thinking "oh that's not really that sad" because there wasnt enough for me to deeply picture each moment and analyze the characters emotions and thoughts. BUT WHEN YOU WRITE IT, i feel like my heart clenches and i acrually start crying BECAUSE IT'S SO SAD AND PERFECTLY WRITTEN, the pace, the charcters, the description, the plot, everything is so WOW. You know how when people die in shows, you're not sad enough to cry for them because there wasn't much to the character or anythign that you could relate to, but some shows have you bawling your eyes out because the character was so amazingly written with their personality, their death, their backstory, etc; IT'S THE SAME WITH YOUR FICS LIKE GOD YOURE AN AMAZING WRITER AI am so deadass when i say you're my favorite author in this entire platform because if i ever feel like i want to read something that I can really picture everything, i go to your account😭😭 i'm sorry if this didn't really make sense, i couldn't put my praise into words.

i read this over like three times because i am baffled and in shock and literally so joyous after reading this like this is genuinely so sweet im laying in bed looking like an idiot while smiling at this you are SO SWEET WHAT THE HELLLL!!

these are some of the sweetest, best, most wonderful compliments i've ever received especially because i've been sooooo iffy with my writing, i've been kind of doubting some things ive been writing because i felt like my qriting lowk got worse LOL but omg... after seeing this i'm realizing that maybe thats not it.

i am especially so hesitant when it comes to angst bc i am noooot confident in my abilities but everything i try to do and implement in writing to evoke thse angsty feelings is lowk proven to be workign after your reaction bc i do spend a lot of time building characters personalities and whatnot + story building, general background lalala bc i think it's rly important adn UGH im so glad you appreciate that and oh my god im like wow so taken aback this is so sweet

and everything that you said about rushing and being confused like i REALLLY try my best to make things make sense and provide connection and oh my gosh i literally cant this feedback is so sweet like WHAT idek what to say like im just rambling oh my god this is so sweet WHAT THE FREAAAK

what im trying to say is im really glad you took the time to explain how much my writing means to you and how much you like it and responses like these genuinely give me so much motivation and make me so happy and im really glad my writing evokes the feelings i really want it to despite my doubts. i am really happy. thank you. you are so sweet i'm glad you enjoy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[gale-gentlepenguin]

So I know Representation came out today. And any good fan would wait a week before reviewing it as we still have episode 23 to watch.

GOOD THING IM A DEGENERATE

Gale Reviews: ML Season 5 episode 24 Representation

spoilers below

-So as expected, Chloé didnt stay mayor long. But Apparently Ms.Bustier is running for Mayor and might win

-Oh its the Fencing teacher/ guy who was Darkblade. Well clearly Ms.Bustier is going to win

-And Adrien and Kagami are a power couple? But Adrien is watching the news report while they are in London. Something seems VERY off

-Ah, Gabriel is behind it. And Adrien HATES it.

-"By letting your father decide your life and selling your story through a fake narrative as usual." DAMN Plagg holds no punches

-Plagg appologized though.

-Kagami is also pissed about it

-HEY ITS FELIX/ARGOS

-Wait ... is that really my chaotic son? HEARTS ON WINDOWS.

-Thats adorable, WTF

-Okay so THEY got some development.

-Adrien deciding to just say f*** it. He is heading to paris and Telling Marinette he's chat noir!

-Marinette back in paris looks miserable. Poor baby girl. Also its a lovely dress.

-Marinette has been crying. I am going to kill Gabriel

-Marinette being strong for her friends to enjoy this dance. Thats really big of her.

-Unfortunately, Spotlight.

-Wait, how did Argos and Kagami get to Paris BEFORE Astrochat? Unless they left much earlier but even then. My bet is Argos made a sentimonster that would warp them places... but that seems like BS.

-KAGAMI KNOWS MARINETTE IS LADYBUG?! Since perfection. Damn.

-KAGAMI TOLD FELIX!?!?!?! FELIX?!?!?! Okay I am a bit salty about that

-OH S***! THEY KISSED. The Feligami stans are Eating today.

-Felix is dressed like Adrien? Oh I do not like where this seems to be going.

-And Marinette thought she saw Adrien and wants to go after him while her friends are thanking her for everything she's done. Way to ruin a good moment FELIX you ass!

-Side note, WHY is Marinette the only one in a dress? Like its a dance? Why couldnt everyone Have dressed up? Seriously, I know outfit renders are expensive. DID THE KITCHEN COST THAT MUCH?

-Marinette avoiding the Lesbian bee and accidentally interrupting the Bi artist and writer. Sure is Pride month in Paris.

-Okay this is just cruel. Marinette thinks she is having a break down over this. Side note. WHY ISNT ADRIEN ACTUALLY HERE YET? HE IS ASTROCHAT!

-Alya and Nino trying to comfort her. But she aint listening.

-Adrien and Kagami escaped and the parents are pissed

-Oh no Nathalie looks really bad right now. Poor thing. All she can do is watch videos of her true love Emilie

-He took the ring back, guess now that Nathalie is too weak to fight him. Which really brings up the question, WHAT HAPPENED in the last episode that Nathalie took such a turn.

-Gabriel is being a d*** as usual

-Nightormentor sounds like a cool name. And while I thought the color scheme is weird... its probably the best akumatized form Gabriel has taken. Sad but true

-AND OF COURSE RIGHT AS SHE LEAVES ASTROCAT ARRIVES. I know its plot convenience but thats bull s***

-"His father CANT have that much control of him" Oh if only you knew Nino

-And BOOM! Gabriel the bitch agreste arrives

-I am liking Rose so much recently. She is calling out EVERYONE

-So he basically has the powers of Sandboy mixed with Darkerowl

-the guy has the power to make you experience VERY intrusive thoughts. That is evil

-Chat noir is like "Hey ladybug gonna go beat up my father text me later"

-Dude Felix must be an Olympic speed walker

-Marinette is basically being nightormented without that bastard even being here. Felix, Kagami this is just a jerk move.

Duusu: "This is so sad" Felix: "Dont worry its for Our happy ending" Duusu: F*** yea lets keep it up

-Oh he made a sentimonster... wait. I know its not human but like a sentimonster MAKING sentimonsters. Feels even more f***ed up

-THEY ARE DOING A F***ING PLAY FOR HER!?

-OH MY GOSH! ITS THE STORY OF EMILIE AND AMELIE!

-Meanwhile, Chat noir is working through his daddy issues.

-Back to the play

-Oh this is interesting.

-Oh and we find out Felix's dad was a rich Cowboy. But also an asshole. (Oh right, this is a French Cartoon, thats why American's suck in this)

-Back to Adrien fighting his father

-This is Cathartic watching Chat noir beat Gabriel's ASS

-HE WAS GOING TO CATACLYSM HIS DAD! Adrien, my boy. Patricide adrien? Well Monarch is still alive, so I guess you think it wouldnt kill him. BTW, Monarch should have had ptsd from that.

-And Chat noir got hit, so his worst fear is... and cuts back to the play

-Oh the twins were infertile. Emilie returned to try and get medical help but still nothing.

-The peacock, that was the sentimonster reference

-Oh so THATS how Gabriel got Gorilla to guard adrien.

-Also yea, any doubt that they arent sentimonsters is dead now.

-ITS CHAT BLANC WITH BLUE HAIR!?

-Oh s*** that is f***ed up.

-"It will end if you give me your miraculous"

-"Take it." ADRIEN NO!

-Oh so thats why Felix's dad was an a**hole. Okay I will give this credit. That is something.

-Welp this explains why Felix might be a sociopath

-Felix revealing why he did what he did

-THE RESISTANCE! COMING IN CLUTCH

-THE TRAY!

-ALYA JUMPED ON HIS BACK.

-They got the akuma in a jar.

-Wait, Chat noir defeated an akuma without Ladybug. (sure he had outside help, but Ladybug has done that too). Good on him

-WELL S*** THAT WAS TRIPPY.

-Felix and Kagami asked for Marinette's help. so was that all the sentimonster doing so? I am lost

-Okay so, I may not LIKE exactly how they went about it. But I cant really hate them for what they did. They are just kids that want to pick someone they trust.

-Oh s***, Ladybug never cast miraculous cure. So Adrien has some perminant trauma from the fight with Nightormentor. He still sees the antichat visions (its not chat blanc, and its just reverse color pallet)

-Chat noir left. before he could tell her. Cause the nightmare messed with him

-WAIT DID TOMOE AND GABRIEL JUST LOCK THEIR CHILDREN IN STERILE ROOMS? WTF!

_________________________________________________________

Okay! This episode was A LOT.

Well there is no denying Sentimonster theory. Its confirmed. Its done. 100% GUARANTEE NO MONEY BACK.

It did explain a LOT about Felix and Adrien.

So I am still iffy on how it was handled.

Now this DOES NOT justify Felix's Actions. He was still an a**hole. And Kagami shouldnt have told Felix. Marinette is Ladybug. That was NOT her secret to tell.

BUT the play that explained what happened was very well done. It explained a LOT about the Graham de Vanily family and Felix's a**hole father.

I will say that I hated how tortured Marinette was during this. Felix and Kagami could have done something less cruel to lure her there.

I also greatly enjoyed Chat noir vs Nightormentor. very good catharsis and we have Adrien going through some additional mental trauma, inflicted by his father (I wouldnt call it Ironic, more of EXPECTED)

I give it 7.5/10

I will say its the most I have enjoyed the second half of this season since Emotion.