#am i being too mean? i feel like i'm being mean but it's just ! bad !!!!
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mxrcielaguito · 2 days ago
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Oh boi, I've been wanting to write Elliott x Farmer for a while so here we go:
Based off one of the comments of the original post
"I would suggest we make time for a little 'rendezvous' in my old cabin... But I'm afraid it's become rather... Musty... In my absence" Elliott says. I'd like to think he's being playful but I can't really tell. His words are mischievous but his eyes seem melancholic. I mean, well, he writes angsty stuff all the time, why would this be any different, he loves feeling melancholic. He's an overemotional drama queen, and that's pretty much why I fell for him in the first place. But something's off today.
I look at him, up and down. Wouldn't be the first time we escape a social gathering and make time for ourselves. I work relentlessly. He writes relentlessly. Our kids mess around the house relentlessly, too.
"Why not?" I suggest. "It's not like anyone's paying attention."
His green eyes widen, his face blushes for just an instant and I recognize his look. He bites his lower lip, grabs my arm and pulls me into the cabin so quickly I can't even react. As soon as I step into the cabin I understand what he meant by "musty". The air feels heavy, humid, and the wood is starting to decay. His old piano is still there; withering away.
He locks the door behind us and I can already feel his heavy breath. I can't help but find it cute. It's been three years and he still gets all hot and bothered. He's turning his back on me, his hand still on the door knob.
"Elliott? Are you all right?" I ask.
"I have really neglected this place, haven't I..." He murmurs. "It's- it's not romantic at all, I-..."
"Love, it's okay, I don't mind" I try to reassure him, rubbing his back. Something's wrong but I'm not can't put my finger on it. "It's been quite some time since the last time you came here, huh."
Elliott laughs nervously and forces himself to let go of the door knob. He turns around and looks at his cabin, his eyes scanning every corner.
"I really used to live like this, didn't I?"
"I didn't know this place brought you bad memories", I say, my voice soft, almost a whisper. I know we don't talk much; my words are usually rather scarce, I can't remember the last time we sat and spoke to each other. I'd rather listen, but Elliott doesn't speak too much, either.
He runs a hand through his copper hair.
"Once upon a time, there lived a man by the sea..." Elliott speaks quietly, absently. "He dreamed of fame and greatness; he dreamed of people remembering his name. However, that day never came, and his little cabin by the sea, he let it rot away."
I frown, trying to make a meaning off of this.
"My father bought this cabin a long time ago, we used to have our vacation here, when I was a kid. With time I guess we all forgot about it, then I remembered it when he kicked me out."
My eyes widen.
"He... Kicked you out? Why am I learning about this just now?!"
"Well, he wasn't happy when I said I wasn't pursuing a career in the family business." Elliott runs his hand through the dusty desk, then fidgets around with an old inkwell. The ink has been dry for a very long time. "I didn't have much money. I was running out when I met you."
"That part, I remember, yeah", I reply.
"It's not that this cabin holds bad memories, as you said. It just a reminder of almost everything that hasn't worked out in my life. All the scrapped manuscripts. All the arguing with my father. All the times I stayed up late, trying to come up with the perfect plot, the perfect words, the perfect... Everything" he closes his eyes and sighs. I look at him and take his hand in mine. I love it: it's so soft. "And then, one day, you showed up and took care of that old farm nobody cared about. And you took care of me..."
He leans his head over mine. His hair tickles my nose, and it smells like pomegranate shampoo.
"I can take care of this place, too" I suggest, trying to cheer him up. "Just like I did with the farm."
"No, no. This place is mine to bear, not yours. However I would like to take your example and make this old place something worth the effort. Something out kids will be happy inheriting."
I look up at him and smile.
"Yeah? You wanna do that?"
Elliott smiles and nods. I feel his hand make its way through my eternally sore back to my waist. I rest my hand on his, fidgeting with his wedding ring.
"It's not that musty", I tease, after a very long silence. "The bed's still in good shape."
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When you're just trying to make some goddamn soup but Elliott wants to have sex in his mouldy ass cabin.
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So... twst anime—
I feel I should be much more excited than I actually am. Don't get me wrong- I am excited ( for Leona animated content ) to see how they'll handle some things- but apart from the worries you listed, I just... I know this sounds a little gatekeepy but an anime will mean more ppl will know and talk about the story and I fear that they won't go into the game/other content and thus have a limited opinion on characters/events and misunderstand them. Basically I fear that characters will be even more mischaracterized than they already ( sometimes ) are by the current fandom 😭 ( specially Leona- gunshots )
[Referencing this post!]
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I feel like there's for sure been mixed reactions to the recent anime news. The general consensus is excitement, but occasionally I've also seen skepticism or worries that the anime won't be as good as the long period since the initial announcement would have had us believe. That's to be expected; we won't know the quality of the anime until we watch it ourselves.
Mmm, there's that age-old sentiment again 😅 The thought of, "More people will be exposed to Twst because of this; I'm worried they will misunderstand the story/characters." It always seems to make a comeback whenever a new major piece of Twst media is announced... It happened when the official EN localization was announced too. People were jumping to conclusions and worrying that the influx of "EN-only" folks and/or a sub-par localization would lead to newer fans not seeing the story and characters the same way as the JP side did. I'll repeat what I said back then (as I think the same logic applies), along with a few additional points/expansions, as are relevant:
As you've said, mischaracterization happens, even now. This is normal in fandom, and it doesn't necessarily make fandom a "bad" space. Variation in thought is a normal human thing in general and I don't think it should be discouraged. If everyone thought the exact same way, life would be boring and we would have a limited number of ideas circulating.
This thinking sort of presupposes that the Twst fandom is currently without issues (or has few of them) and that it is the growth of the fandom that will cause problems. From experience, I can tell you that fandoms always have their toxic pockets. Fandoms growing larger just exposes more of those pockets because, statistically speaking, with more bodies present, there's a higher chance something will come to light, be it a personal squabble, a cultural difference, actually serious allegations, etc. It's a natural part of a fandom's lifecycle.
How other people interpret the story/characters should have limited or no bearing whatsoever on your own enjoyment. It does not erase your own views on the story/characters either. If you find that your concerns about others are becoming overwhelming, I'd encourage you to take a step back and think about what in this fandom makes you happy.
I feel that the mentality I mentioned earlier stems from an "us versus them" mindset. We're viewing current Twsties as the "in" group and everyone else as the "out" group... when, really, I think it might be healthier to perceive the "out" group as potential Twsties. Like... instead of fearing them as strangers coming in to "taint" the fandom, let's try to think of them as "friends we haven't met yet". After all, these anime-first or anime-only Twsties could end up being your next buddy, someone cool you meet at an event, a Twst content creator you enjoy, etc. Try to reframe your thinking!
Lastly!! We have no idea how the anime will go. They might not make it solely the main story just because it’s a manga adaptation. The team might have weaved in vignettes/event stories or bonus content exclusive to the anime which helps flesh out the characters.
I think that about wraps up my thoughts. I hope that helps alleviate some of your concerns. Hang tight, keep an open mind, and pray that the L*ona content in the anime is good 🤡
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sysig · 2 days ago
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Growing closer than expected (Patreon)
#Doodles#Pokemon#Kabu#Larry#Firebland#Silverstreakshipping#To the shock of no one this is Zarla's fault (lol)#Bad influence! Too inspiring! Stop this! I'm totally not culpable for Being Inspired for the [X]th time now definitely lol#I kept finding little ideas popping into my head with them and I mean if I've already doodled them Once I guess I could try a couple more#Learned them just well enough to keep finding things for them pft#Although I am surprised by just how easy I find Larry to Draw - not necessarily that I'm fully Confident in drawing him yet but like#There's very little struggle to the shapes I put down here and I'm fairly pleased with their configuration haha#Kabu on the other hand!! Why is he so hard to draw!!! What!! Like I know his clothes are complex but no his face!#He's got a really cute and difficult-to-draw face! Why! I cannot figure him out#It's probably the do with the shape and size of his head...his hair........ I really enjoy fluff and he's Kind of but Not Really fluffy??#And his white streaks aren't intuitive to me - but Larry's floofs are??? I don't know#The only thing I can figure it that I Kind Of draw Dexter the same way - Larry's streaks are like an exaggerated version of how I floof Dex#And then a suit is second nature by now but I've already talked about my difficulties with Kabu's clothes lol#Didn't stop me from putting him out front for this hug tho! It's cute... Kabu asking Larry to come play with him but Larry has stuff to do#May or may not have felt a little that way myself - made most of these doodles during Requestober haha so busy!#The brightly shining brilliant glow boyfriend setup-payoff returns ♥ He glows like a fire! Overwhelming!#I still really love that glow cutaway style around the low-bouncing flower haha - just don't draw there and it gives the impression! Fun :)#Hugs <3 Unsurprisingly been in the want of cute fluff and sweetness and hugs were very on the menu#It really is fun to think of Larry being just a Little weird about how much he feels for Kabu#Acting childish as that part of him hasn't had the chance to grow and mature! Stuck awkward and gangly in otherwise full development#Feelings so big and strong and immediate for the first time in too too long <3 Gotta express them all somehow#And ending off with a bit of silliness haha - was Kabu prompting him just to hear such an answer? Who knows ♪#Larry just too straightforward haha - why else would he do or say things unless he felt like it! Pfsh obviously#Haha
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beautifullilacsky · 2 days ago
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I have been feeling weird these days. Frankly, just not great. Pretty bad. I have been belittling myself, trying to hide and disappear. What has helped me? Going for a walk by myself. Listening to an audiobook and realizing there are things that I enjoy doing and that make the time pass. Belasting music through my earplugs while in the bathroom, and looking in the mirror as I start to move my body and dance. Write with myself; so pure and vulnerable. So understanding and loving towards myself. I felt like myself again. I reflected on a drawing, where I added a text. I realized that I was, or am, trapped. I try to disappear, trying to hide from everyone. Hoping to protect myself from dissapointing people and being too much. From them leaving, or realizing they no longer love me. Then I went on to mention how lonely it is here, isolating me and who I am, while there is someone out there who does love me for me. It then turned into wondering why I am here. And why these leaves, in which I tried to disappear, are so heavy. I realize that I am no longer wanting to hide. Rather, I am trapped. Trapped into my own hideaway. Where the leaves are no longer lovingly embracing me, they are cutting into my skin. Reflecting helped me realize it, and realize I want to get out. And I have the power to do so.
Frankly, I want to be like in the gif every single day. I also honestly know that I could. I can find casual magic in everything. I can be so passionate about life and everything it has to offer. That feels like the true me. The one who experiences it all, and is grateful for it. Sure, the other parts of me are also me. But I feel my best when I am I that mood. The mood from the gif. My boyfriend is out right now, volleyballing until the very early hours. His roommate is also not home. It is just me, and gash. I am excited. I have already listened to music and danced, but I also ate too much and feel very full right now. Either way.. it is scary to be so me. To be so vulnerable and truly myself in front of someone. I know I can do it. I acted this way during our vacation. Why is it so hard to just be myself? To trust someone enough to be my true self? It's a safe space, babygirl. Sure, sometimes it hurts in this place. But don't you dare pull back because of it. I mean, to be fair, how could anyone ever do anything but smile when they see someone living life like that? What do I expect? The worst that could happen is that someone finds it interesting how you can enjoy and aren't ashamed in public. BUTO BE FAIR EH? WHHHHHYY IS IT SOMETHING TO BE ASHAMED OF? I fucking LOVE people who enjoy like that. I wish I could be surrounded by them. So baby, if the people around you aren't like that, okay and??? Be like that for yourself. He doesn't show his emotions the way you do? Okay and??? Let him experience his emotions the way he wants to. He can honestly count himself blessed to be with a person who can enjoy life so fully. Please, love this part of yourself. Well, you already do. But do it without shame. Do it proudly. Embrace it, truly. You have been taking everything for granted. It's time to be grateful, and be so without any doubt. Please, enjoy life the way you were meant to. Learn to be yourself, the way you are yourself when you are alone. He might not vibe on the same level, but that doesn't mean you should dim your own light. Yoyoyo, please learn to be yourself. Your silly, cute, life-enjoying self. I love the way you are , babygirl. So will he. And if he doesn't, that's big time his loss. Though, I'm pretty sure he loves this part of you, too. I know you love this part of you, so show off that you love her. She is yours. Show your love off by letting her out, the way you'd want someone to love this part of you. She deserves to come out and enjoy life with you. Whoever else is around. She feels safe with you. Please let her feel safe around him, too. He'd embrace her the way she wants to be embraced. Just like on our vacation. That you can still come out during the daily life without any judgement, you know?
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idontlikeem · 17 hours ago
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hi! i'd like to talk about losing. you don't have to read this if you don't want to, but i wanted to write it, and guess what, it's my blog. i just like this team a lot and i'm feeling a little maudlin about my guys and a little sick to fucking death of the shit i'm seeing all over kingdom come from 'fans'. so here we are.
So You Became A Fan Of A Living Legend But The Hockey Team Is Bad: a commentary.
look. this is not the most fun i've ever had watching hockey, and i'm quite sure a lot of people feel the same way. the penguins are bad this season! they were bad last season too, but there's something very special about the extent to which they are shit right now. and those are not fun games to watch.
but here's the thing: who cares.
like, idk. there's so much god damn negativity surrounding this team and its performance right now, and i'm guilty of contributing to it as well, because yeah of course i'd rather watch a team win in decisive fashion most nights. of course i'd rather dream about may and june and the stanley cup. of course i want to watch that happen again for my favorite players. like, duh.
but. it's probably not going to. not if these players get what they want, which is to play together on this team until they're ready to retire.
and you know what? that's fine. if they're fine with it, who on earth am i to not be?
i think we all have the same reaction when we see idiots online saying things like 'sid doesn't deserve this trade him to a contender'. and that's because we are smarter and more refined fans who understand that what sidney crosby DESERVES is to select how and where and when his career ends. is it on a team that sucks? then that means being here is more important to him than getting that fourth cup. staying with geno and kris and the penguins as a whole, never putting on another NHL logo, is more significant to him personally than another victory. and isn't that special? isn't that worth celebrating?
of course we know all of that because we're better at being fans than the uncles online who are writing weird fanfic in their heads. but. guess what that comes with:
losing.
and losing badly, in the case of this season.
i am here to tell you that sitting and bitching about it helps no one. right now, what we have to watch and celebrate is our favorite players still playing at a high level. they're still doing cool stuff on the ice. and they're doing it TOGETHER. this is what they wanted. so your options are either to hate it and sit in negativity about it each and every game, OR readjust your mindset and learn to enjoy what we have while we have it.
we are watching myth-making happen live. we are watching living legends play hockey. this is a privilege and an honor and it's not something most fanbases get EVER. and we have two! can you believe it?
there are things i would have rather seen done differently over the last couple of years. as far back as 2019 there were moves i disagreed with and changes that could have been made that perhaps could have extended their window. and of course the 2022 series against the rangers, that was a very good team that got hit by injuries at the absolute worst possible time, and probably that was their last chance as a core to compete. it's frustrating to watch that stuff happen when you have no control over it.
the pittsburgh penguins were high-end competitors and contenders for seventeen years straight. that's insane and unheard of in this league. they're not anymore. and the price you pay for almost two decades of dominance is...being bad. when you're competing you trade prospects and draft picks for win-now players. sometimes those work out, most of the time they don't. with the amount of winning this team has done, even the trades that didn't work were worth it, because it meant they were trying.
there are no fanbases who are going to feel bad for penguins fans right now. that's also why we're getting so much attention from the national media. people aren't used to this team being as bad as it is, and people like watching downfalls. that's fine. most of those fans have never watched their team win, and most of them never will. so if their joy is coming from sidney crosby's team being bad....well, love and light, you know?
and we shouldn't feel bad for ourselves either. this is what happens. this is how it goes. this is the price for the band staying together.
i dunno, guys. this is a disjointed rant. it's just so effing hard to be kicked in the nuts everywhere you go with unrelenting negativity. it's on twitter it's in the articles and yes, it's here too. but if you can't be a fan of a team when they're bad, then i'm sorry but you're not a fan of the team (or certain players), you're a fan of winning. and NO team wins all the time every year. that's not how sports work.
we are lucky. at least, i feel lucky! don't you? gosh, sidney crosby scored his 600th career goal tonight. evgeni malkin is over 500 goals on his career. can you believe that? it's amazing to watch.
and it's going to be over in less than two years. do we really want to waste it by wishcasting something that's not going to happen instead of enjoying what we DO have?
if the media bums you out, don't listen. don't read the articles. don't go on twitter. dry your tears on the stanley cup banners that sid and geno hung up—there are three to choose from!
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fandom-geek · 1 day ago
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act 3 thoughts
well, i guess it looked pretty.
i didn't actually think it was possible to rush vi/caitlyn after s1 but uh... they managed it. i actually feel pretty bad for fans of that ship? like wow, they basically had zero build-up after the reconciliation (especially for the weirdly placed sex scene) and now vi has no one but cait (assuming she doesn't know that jinx is alive) and they're "happily ever after". and i'm saying this as someone who has had zero investment in caitlyn since s1, lol, so i can't imagine how ppl invested in her story feel.
and sevika just literally might as well have not existed after episode 4. like i guess i'm happy she's zaun's only council member against six pilties, but like. s2 basically refused to engage with the zaun/piltover conflict besides attributing it to individuals like caitlyn, ambressa, and jinx. the closest we got to acknowledging there were institutional reasons was the alternative universe in s2, but even then... vi dies (and possibly jayce and viktor too???), there's no hextech or seemingly shimmer, and suddenly zaun is thriving? and having silco show up, having forgiven vander, just felt like the same shallow fanservice from the flashback earlier in the season.
which ties into how everything got subsumed by the arcane subplot. i get that they needed to join the plots up at some point, but war between zaun and piltover seemed like a pretty solid bet, narratively.
having seriously looked forward to how they were going to deal with mel being a mage and viktor being the machine herald. i am impressively disappointed. no machine herald here, only the arcane herald. i guess his final design was cool, but i wanted to see fortiche's take on the machine herald. having him reinvent himself as the machine herald in response to the arcane taking his bodily autonomy would've been cool, but i guess he's cool with using his inventions as weapons now if it means he gets to evolve more people. after hearing and reading so much about the nuance of the conflict btwn him and jayce in league, i am painfully disappointed that we didn't get any of that. and the lack of resolution as to whatever was going on with skye, so instead she was just a plot device for viktor's character development for the entire show? god, in hindsight her narrative treatment was the first red flag over where the writing was going.
also a bit disappointed that jayce's mysterious mage didn't turn out to be ryze despite the various hinting at it (didn't even netflix themselves imply it at one point?).
and poor fucking mel, she kills her last surviving relative and her boyfriend just disappears without a trace and she's forced to renounce her compassion and adopted home to embrace her noxian heritage. i don't know if massively depressing stories are on par for mages in runeterra, but her ending was just utterly tragic. she has no one left, just a faceless army of soldiers.
jinx's fake-out death is like. urgh. i get why because it means piltover leaves her alone, but there's just a ton of emotion in a moment that you immediately undercut at the very end.
for all they said that s2 was written alongside s1, it felt like they needed another season (you know, if this wasn't so expensive to produce) to properly pace stuff out so it can be developed properly. like, spending an entire episode on alternate universes when you have three total left is utter madness. it should've been 1/3-1/2 an episode at most if they kept the same episode count.
but given their apparent willingness to throw fanservice in (felicia & silco flashback) when it doesn't exactly make narrative cohesion with s1, i'm not sure if that was possible or meddling by someone else or whatever.
oh, and rip blitzcrank. too innocent to exist in arcane, i guess?
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nalyra-dreaming · 23 hours ago
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Hi Nalyra, how are you? I hope you’re having a great day.
I only joined the iwtv fandom after s2 aired and I’m so happy I found it. I am however very confused by the level of Lestat hate though. I understand that 1x05 was a big deal for the fandom. What I don’t understand is how they’re still holding onto that but can ignore everything Armand stands for and has done. The Lestat hate also spills over into downplaying Sam’s performance which is maddening. I should’ve know, I’ve been on this hell site for way too long. The obsession with Armand in this fandom is just so huge (He killed Claudia, brainwashed and emotionally manipulated Louis for 80 years, no?) I don’t mean that I want everyone to hate Armand. I just feel like I missed something joining the fandom so late. (I’m strictly talking show here)
I thought I’d ask your insight cause I love reading your answers and take on things.
Hey nonny,
so... the way I see it, the very long hiatus between s1 and s2 made parts of the fandom believe that Lestat is the "big bad abuser white demon™"... because 1x05 and the "we had to kill Lestat" is what stuck in people's brains, and was left to fester for almost two years. People who doubted the tale were accused of being racists and abuse apologists, people who pointed out that Loumand might not be the big true romance the same.
The official podcast host called Armand "so much more healthy" for Louis, and some people took that for the truth, and not for the opinion of someone (who had also obviously not read the books). They literally ignore what Armand did for decades, choosing to go on and on about the big bad abuser, and "patriarchal domination", as they have been fed by the tale, never ever taking the step back to look at the tale, and that we know that it has been tinkered with, as Assad called it.
Hating Lestat was seen as the morally correct response, and certain people reflected that belief unto other fans, accusing them of what they faulted the fictional characters for.
This need to morally justify liking or watching is relatively recent in fandom and it is extremely futile for the VC and therefore IWTV.
They‘re all terrible and monsters by our standards.
Giving a more nuanced portrait of Lestat as built on the books brought me a lot of hate and accusations on my fics.
Certain parts of the fandom have also convinced themselves that the show is not at all based on the books, despite the show returning to all emotional main points, and the writers and creators posting their tagged books for all to see.
They have convinced themselves that Lestat, the main character of the VC, will not be that, but will be the abuser throughout, portrayed to be the antagonist.
To be honest, I wish them good luck.
You... are coming in to a more complete picture, and S3 will then add more to it still.
And I'm glad for it!
I am glad that the fans coming in after s2 might be more... chill about some things, because some things have already been clarified.
I hope they are.
I‘m glad you enjoy it here 🥰
I would advise to block freely, and to ... keep the long hiatus in mind, and where this came from, maybe. It might be easier to understand.
As it is, and going by the s3 trailer, and what the writers posted, and what has been stated already.... well, they are keeping quite close to the books.
And with that the very thing Rolin Jones has already stated will happen - namely Lestat taking (quote!) “the show hostage“ - and (quote!!) “setting the story straight“.
Sam and Jacob are co-leads after all, the show built on Loustat.
Some people seem to love to forget that.
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memori662 · 3 hours ago
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KIAN vs ALEXA (my two dear snipers...)
Spoiler: they end up as besties
And sorry if the P.O.V. is strange. Idk why sometimes they're written in first person and another times in third person.
Bang!
Alexa dogdes the bullet just by a hair.
Bang! Bang!
Now, what the fuck?
“Hey, to whoever is trying to kill me: I'm sure I have no debts. And if you're looking for any debts my parents might had...” She smoothly takes out her hand-gun. “I'll make sure you don't get your prize.”
Her eyes search for any strange movement. Any sound. Anything. And they land on a green fluffy ball (?) on one of the buildings.
The green fluffy ball (?) must've noticed her eyes on ‘itself’, as ‘it’ —in an abnormal velocity— changes placement.
“It's a solo sniper? Snipers don't usually attack alone. Or it's a very good sniper or there's more enemies.”
Shit. She has lost sight of ‘it’.
“Are you being a coward?” Maybe provokating whoever that might be lure ‘it’ out. “I mean, if you're a sniper that some dark organization hired to kill me, I'd feel honored to be such an important figure.” For fucks sake, I sounded just like Memori or Mimi...
It doesn't work. Bang!
Oh, they're good.
Alexa isn't one that works in dodging —unlike a particular blonde girl named Memori—, she's also a sniper. And she recognizes a good job done —thing that Memori definitely wouldn't...— Wait, don't think of her everytime??! Maybe those are things that happen when you're a competitive person and is paired with someone who enjoys remarking ‘how much better she is at everything’. But anyway, as I was saying— Bang!
“We're gonna be bad blood...” she mutters.
Her red eyes scan the place quickly, taking notes of anything she could use at her advantage and anywhere more enemies could been hiding. I should probably ask for help— Bang!
She would've been already dead if it wasn't for her quick thinking. She's been doing this practically since her birth.
I should confront them directly. Snipers usually don't have good hand-to-hand combat skills.
And with a quick and quiet running, she luckily makes it to the top of the —gladly not too tall— buildings without being shot.
She knows the green fluffy ball —that now takes the shape of a young adult probably with her same age, that wears a fancy mob-like suit that which would give off an intimidating aura if it wasn't for his puppy-like expression— allowed her to actually come closer, because he clearly isn't a normal human.
“Wow,” the puppy-looking boy speaks, “it's been a while since someone succesfully dodged my bullets.” His voice doesn't have any venom, just genuine interest. “You're good.” He smiles.
“I know I am good.” As she speaks she fires her gun. “No need to remember me.”
“If I shoot now, you cannot dodge.” The green-haired boy smiles slyly as he easily dodges the bullet. “Are you sure it's wise to keep attacking me?”
“Who said I couldn't dodge?”
“It's basic knowledge. You're so close to me that if I fire right now, you wouldn't have time to dodge.” he speaks lightly with a sing-song tone.
“Are you suggesting we chit-chat this over? Because I'm no diplomat.”
“Neither I am.” Even though his voice and overall appearance were so soft and puppy-like, the sniper in his hands right now says the contrary.
He probably isn't half bad in hand-to-hand neither. I need to be careful for any ambushes or hidden trap.
“Are you thinking about my skills right now, Alexia?”
“It's Alexa.” Oh no, this man is giving me déjà vu...
“I think Alexia sounds cuter, don't you think so?”
... Definitely déjà vu.
“Hehe, but I think Alexia suits you better, don't you think so, Ale~xia?”
Ugh, get out of my head, you fucking egocentric bitch—
“My name doesn't have anything to do with being ‘cute’. And how do you know my name?”
“Your name?” He widens his eyes —so fucking adorable—. “I thought you'd know me!”
Nope. This guy's on drugs.
“I'm Kian. K-I-A-N!” If he had a tail, it'd be swinging happily right now. “And you're Alexa. A-L-E-X-A.”
Why is he spelling the names again...?
“I asked you a question.”
“Memori is your Boss or something like that, right?”
Of course.
“You know her?”
The glimpse of sadness in his eyes disappears as quick as it appeared. “Yes.”
“What's she to you?”
“...” He seems to be struggling to find the correct words. “We- She was a close friend.”
... Is this some sort of pattern? Thinking of all the similarities...
Being unclear as fuck, acting as if everyone should know what you're talking about, being in your own world, switching personalities as a light switch, loud, child-like, asking how your name's spelled... There's definitely some patterns.
“Are you implying she hired you to kill me?”
“I'm not,” he whispers to himself. “It was just because.”
“Just because? Nobody hired you, no ‘a higher power demanded me to’? Nothing?”
He nods with apologetic eyes. “Memori seems to like you very much.”
Hell yeah she does and doesn't even try to hide it.
“You're asking why Alexa has to go with me?” She asks with a nonchalant expression. “Obviously because she's better than you all.” Her words are often impossible to understand if they're seriously or not. But it wasn't the first time that she admited a clear favoritism with Alexa.
“But Alexia, what do you man with a high—”
“Dude, did she reject you or what? You look so hopeless always talking 'bout her.”
“No?? I don't see it.”
“Ya sure?”
“Sure. She's like my sister.”
“... Really?”
“Really. She's like a black cat.”
What. Definitely no.
“Uh-huh,” I continue. “Why did you think it's a good idea to attack me?”
“Well, since Mori bullies you—”
“She doesn't.” Mori.
“—she must like you very much! And I wanted to see what it is that she likes about you so much!”
“You're nuts.”
“I'm not a nut- I'm not an aliment!”
“I know you're a real human.” He recoils just a bit when I call him a real human. “I meant you're crazy.”
“Ohh!” He has fangs. “That's what you meant!”
“Are you four or what?”
“I'm the same age as you!”
“Really? I don't think so. And how the fuck do you—”
“Ah, sorry for this,” he says as he lowers his sniper.
“No worries.” A total weirdo after another weirdo. “And where ya from? Your work, I mean. You look too fancy to be a normal sniper. Don't tell me you're a blue-blooded rich?”
“Ah, that is... Hm.”
“Very helpful,” irony fills my words. “So ya aren't a rich?”
“Ah, you could say... Kind of rich. My work pays me well.”
“Are riches becoming more and more common by the time?”
“People are getting better and better at finding suitable jobs!” He exclaims with optimism.
“I don't think Memori's your friend.”
“She's an angel! Who wouldn't be her friend?”
“An angel, you say?” She asks skeptically.
“She may be nicknamed sinner now, but I mean it as her personality—”
“She's nicknamed sinner now?! Since when?”
“Ah, between a circle of rumours,” he half-lies smoothly. “Nothing big, really. Some people simply resent her for her former job.”
“That chick was probably in some illegal trade. Tell me otherwise,” she rolls her eyes in exasperation.
“You don't know where she used to work?”
“At least me, no.” She looks at the sky. “She's a real mistery among us. Classic rich person behaviour. How delightful.”
“You don't have a very limited vocabulary!” He seems oddly excited about it. “I thought you wouldn't know words like ‘delightful’.”
“It's not a bad thing.”
“Why the hell wouldn't I.” No, this man right here? He's also a total fucker.
“Uh-huh.” Of course it is a compliment. Of course. Very obvious. Totally expected.
He suddenly grabs my hand and shakes it with both of his hands with a bright smile, but quickly stops after what seems like remembering etiquette. As if there is an etiquette for shaking hands. There isn't, right? ... Not that I would know, anyway.
A little late, no? “Alexa. Pleasure's mine. Is that what I'm supposed to reply?” I ask genuinelly this being the first decent handshake I've ever had.
“Excuse me,” he apologies with a smile as he lowers up his right-hand and looks at me expectanly.
??? What does he wants me to do?
“Uhm... What do I do?”
“Ah, nothing,” he dismisses.
Oh, a headshake.
I offer my left-hand to him. He stares at my hand, as if it was strange. Fuck, do headshakes have some etiquette I'm not aware of? “Am I doing something wrong?”
He focuses his attention back to my eyes as he accepts my headshake also with his left-hand. “It's not a big deal. Usually, handshakes are with the right-hands.”
So it does have an etiquette.
“Oh. I'm left-handed. I didn't know.”
“Don't worry your pretty little head about it.” He replies as he shakes his hand four times, completely different from how his behavior was a minute ago. “My name is Kian. A pleasure to meet you.”
“Mhm, maybe a little bit more formal, but yes,” he chuckles and nods. “You are cute. Like a mouse.”
Like a mouse. That's new.
“And you're like a dog.” It's an implied insult.
“Why, yes! I get told that often.”
“Figures.” I stare at this green-haired man with disbelief at his obliviousness.
“Welp, I need to go now.” He adds, “Boss expects me...”
Boss? So he does work for someone, huh?
“Bye-bye, Alexia! It was nice to meet you!” He waves his hands with excitement.
“... Nice to meet ya too, I guess.”
And with that, he jumps swiftly away.
Huh, what a strange man.
Randomly pick 2 OCs. Make them fight. How will it go?
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oddp1ant · 24 hours ago
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Talking here instead of in the tags on this post because. My head is steaming.
This version of Viktor is 1) human and 2) older. In my dream reality, this implies that the de-arcanified version of Viktor we see at the end of ep 9 survives, regains physical form but is forever changed by the arcane = a mage, who eventually travels through time/realities to give Jayce the guidance he needs as a child and in the post-apocalypse wasteland, effectively securing the timeline in which he (and the rest of the world or w/e) survives, making it a closed loop. I like to think Jayce is with him for most of it, both of them figuring out their new magical interdimensional existence together.
Ofc, the take I've been seeing most of so far is that Jayce and Viktor were both destroyed in that final moment. I mean yeah, being at the center of hexcrystal/gem/shard activity like that tends to do that to people, as we've been repeatedly shown, but they were also in the weird metaphysical arcane-space when it happened so I'm honestly not sure the same principles apply. If that is the end for them, I guess mage-Viktor was just a product of some other reality where that was the trajectory for him, who due to his magic was able to see all the infinite Bad timelines and took it upon himself to interfere with this one to prevent them, likely nullifying his own and himself in the process. This is cool too, but makes mage-Viktor feel a bit like a random Deus ex machina since we have very little sense of where he came from or how he became what he is.
I may be delusional, but I feel like there's hope in Jayce's face when he sees mage-Viktor. Seeing him human again, seeing him older (something I am personally in tears over - Viktor getting to grow old ;;;;) seems to give him hope that there's a way back, AND a way forward for them!!! Idk. I'm crazy.
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[Screencap credit to @lesbian-sansa]
Edit to add: I guess my mind skipped over the option that mage-Viktor is the post-apocalyptic reality's Viktor, who presumably went full glorious evolution, saw that it sucked, and somehow turned himself back to a human form. I guess that lessens the Deus ex machina issue and is also very cool bc we love a villain who spends a thousand years bored and lonely in the desolate wasteland of their own creation until deciding the only way to fix this involves timefuckery and empowering the heroes to take you down before it can happen. There's something so "go sit in the corner until you've calmed down" about it. Also implies that Viktor had the ability to come back to himself even without Jayce, but not before it's too late. Always preventing each other from stepping off the ledge at the last moment, these guys.
Idk which theory I prefer, I think I'll have thoughts about this show until I die
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outlying-hyppocrate · 3 months ago
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well. did you fucking miss me.
#random thoughts#apologies for sounding in such a sour mood. life is fucked as of late.#scheduled post. i made this on 10.08.2024.#everything has just gone to shit. so far i've been eating less than ever. feels like my stomach is eating itself augh (':#(technically the so-called relapse started on 24.12.2023. but we are not unpacking that today or ever.)#and i am filled with this desperate urge to cut myself. really really deep. not sure how to cope with it#i also?? hate how i look??#and yet i spend all my time?? in this dark dark room?? taking pictures of my face?????#i'm not killing myself off just yet don't worry. i considered it but it won't be happening any time soon.#i originally planned on disappearing for twelve days. partly to make my friends feel bad because i'm awful#which. obviously didn't work. as i don't think anyone noticed or cared particularly.#but mostly because i can't fucking handle it. it being everything. my future feels so uncertain#i am barely alive. i love all the people in my life. but they're too far away physically and emotionally.#but yeah. back finally. although ciel disappears for a lot longer than me and if you know hym my absence would be a small stint.#ciel if you're here when i post this i love you please come back. ):#this place is so scary to come back to. i'm not sure why. i'm just. scared.#i'm not even sure if i want to return really. i'm having second thoughts now. i haven't gotten worse enough#and i can't say what that means. because in theory there's nothing wrong with me that's been speculated upon. so.#i don't think anyone would care if i disappeared for longer than this.#but being away is torture. and then again being here also sort of is. it's scary#fuck.#i can't get out of bed without feeling like shit. i don't know if i can come back. i'm so sick of everything.#if you're seeing this i'm so sorry.#I NEED TO CUT MYSELF I NEED TO CUT MYSELF NOW. I NEED TO. I MADE SO MANY PROMISES BUT I NEED TO DO IT NOW#I'VE GOT THE SCISSORS I NEED TO DO IT#I NEED TO DO IT RIGHT THE FUCK NOW#(<- tags canceled for now)
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selfinflictedgunshotwound · 5 months ago
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sorry for only saying this type of shit lately but i kinda wanna drive a car straight into a brick wall at the highest speed possible
#trying to keep it together so bad because i already know the problems and solutions and whatnot but i cannot do anything#i desperately just need to do something. accomplish any task. actually several would be nice. but i cannot stand just letting life go by#while i watch other people have the things i want. or even metaphorically living my dream like. that should be me why am i settling for thi#i hate even talking about this because i feel so stupid when i know it's not even a real tangible problem and that i actually DO have real#problems to tackle and the ability to do so but i'm choosing to be upset over the stupidest things i could possibly be sad about#and i can't even be sad about it in a normal way i'm cycling through like several different reactions to smth that isn't even real#or if it is real i literally do not have tanglible evidence for it one way or another like i'm driving myself insane for no reason#i can't even get catharsis because all i'm doing is digging a deeper hole for something i never should've gone back into in the first place#because i KNOW how i am i KNOW how i react to things and i still chose to do it lmao.#and i continue to choose to go through this shit instead of actively trying to change my life because... i'm lazy? and stupid? idk#negative self-talk isn't gonna get me to do anything either so let's just say i'm feeling particularly unmotivated like usual#i hated being a teenager but i really do miss when all my problems just amounted to 'someone was mean to me on tumblr today :(' or i failed#a test in chemistry or something. like i yearn for that simplicity becasue at this point all i'm doing is ruining my own life LMAO#i'm too scared to live i'm too scared to die so i just sit here and fantasize that life could be amazing if i wait#and i'll magically get everything i've ever wanted if i just wait long enough. and i know it isn't true and i still wait for it to happen.#because honestly like. i think deep down i am just convinced i will fail at anything i do when that shouldn't be what scares me.#what scares me should be never even allowing myself to fail because i never tried to do anything at all with myself or my life#like. wake the fuck up. get off your ass and put in the effort. learn some skills. gain independence and stability and discipline and do it#just live please i'm begging you just live so i can be happy don't i deserve to be happy... why am i not letting myself be happy#i'm literally keeping myself trapped in this negative feedback loop ON PURPOSE because teehee shiny toy#and it doesn't matter if the love is real it doesn't matter how i feel like i'm just using it as a distraction i can't say it's motivation#because it's barely motivated me at all. i have to start being realistic. 25 & just realizing you actually have to participate in your life#anyways. i've cried i've agonized i've pictured killing myself in 30 different ways. i think the only way i'm gonna feel better is#to just actually try this time without giving up. wish me luck
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boxwinebaddie · 2 months ago
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i'm sorry, but jerseykyle is legit every ke$ha song ever written i'm?! BLAHBLAHBLAH???? CANNIBAL???? but like Specifically JOYRIDE like, no, literally Beep Beep, Bitch; I'm Outside ( Best Night Yo Life ) —
Get In Loser,
For The JOYRIDE. ;)
#nina speaks#i am cryiiiiiiing#okay every song excluding One but i blame dr. luke and it being 2000 whatever and the lack of wokeness back them#( we love you mother ke$ha i looooove you mwAH )#but any richter scale breakin freaky ass shakin sleazy breezy beautiful club banger n y2k pop hit abt bein a toxic nasty heaux#was just written about jersey and i MEAN that oh my god#BAD BITCH THEME MUSIC#someone talked to be about hollaback girl and TOO REAL#kyleyb did spell bananas out for gorilla juiceheads frequently#we love a helpful and educated king! thanks baby! aljskasjla#blahblahblah is so real ik when bebe drags him by the ear to college nite at the club and some idiot guy is hitting on him#he is sooooo i don't care where you live it just turn around boy let me hit thatsdjaslkd like if you dont zip yo lips like a padlock#and meet me in the back with the jack and the juxebox AAAA#hes my hero i am very glad he is being rehabilitated for that sex addiction but he was THE MOMENT! THE MOVEMENTTT#JOYRIDE THO???? TOOOOOOOOOO REEEEEEEAL#i cannot hear maneater by nelly fertado without thinking about him jk embodies the freak nasty evil spirit of that song#i want to answer that ask soon bc i have SOOOO much to say nina stop pretending rm is a netflix original series smh#but i can see it vividly...VIIIIIIIIIIVIDLY and im a little blind so thats really saying something; whateva! i'm a visionary baby!#i want to make a playlist for the boys and for my stupid unfinished bfanfic but my music taste gives me the ick so hard#but yeah it's just...i feel this so strongly in my bones#its his ravenstan new perspective / pop punk y2k stanthems
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vel17 · 4 months ago
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seventh-district · 6 months ago
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not even gonna tag this properly bc i don't wanna get Involved but i do have some Thoughts i need to get out into the void so here we go
(aaa quick edit: CW for mention/discussion of Boothill leaks)
#today's gone Badly and i'm upset but instead of venting abt it i'm gonna channel that energy into doing a bit of tag rambling abt Boothill#well. less abt Him and more abt uh. self-analyzing my anxiety surrounding contributing to fandoms. he's just today's catalyst#like. i know it's mostly a me thing. i'm hypersensitive to criticism and very conflict avoidant + socially anxious + perfectionistic etc.#so I'm the one that keeps myself from posting more stuff out of fear of being criticized or called-out for what i've made#bc inevitably Someone's gonna see it and think its OOC or a problematic take or they'll misread my intent. etc etc what have you#but like. that's inevitable. there's no way to communicate every single thing with all of the nuance required to avoid misunderstandings#and other times it's not a misunderstanding it's just a difference of opinions and that's Fine!! there's no accounting for personal taste#there's no accounting for several things actually. taste‚ bias‚ lore-knowledge‚ differing levels of chronic-online-ness‚ etc#so this isn't me complaining abt the state of fandom culture (although i do think. sometimes. ppl take shit a bit too seriously)#but anyways all of this is mostly just anxiety-fueled. it's not like i very often actually even receive negative feedback or anything#if anything ppl tend to tell me that i'm overthinking it and killing my own fun and worried that my stuff is more OOC than it is#which like. yeah. Yeah u right :) but that's just the way that i am! always losing the idgaf war i suppose#anyways what's Boothill got to do w this ur wondering. well. i've been thinking abt the quickly emerging concept that he's illiterate.#and it just. has me feeling a lot of ways. and watching ppl disagree over it has me feeling some Bad ways. bc it's def a loaded topic!#if you'll pardon the pun there. and i don't rlly have anything new to add other than that i'm conflicted abt it.#like yeah i saw the leaks days ago. of him mentioning 'not hitting the books' much as a child when we ask him why he sends voice messages#or voice Transcriptions ig. ykwim. and like. *braces for impact* ...i liked it? like. it doesn't feel right to call it endearing#i'm not trying to infantilize him. ok that's not the right word either but ugh. you know? what i mean?? who am i kidding even i don't know#it's not quite right to say that it feels like Representation either. but it's something close i guess#as a southern person myself who didn't receive a 'complete' education due to factors that weren't to do with my intelligence#the concept of seeing him as a capable force to be reckoned with and respected who also happens to have not received much formal education#i like that. i do. but there's so many issues w it at the same time. like. as i said‚ being southern myself has me Wary of the way Hoyo is-#writing him. as well as of the way that the fandom is taking the bits of his lore and running away w them. and i'm Very aware of how ppl-#will see a southern character and be All Too Eager to agree that they're lacking intelligence based on our Redneck™ stereotype#sigh. and before we even go too far with this. it's not even confirmed that hes completely illiterate. which is a valid criticism i've seen#there's Multiple reasons that could make him prefer voice to text. but regardless. i'm just worried that ppl will misconstrue my intentions#like. example: that edit i made the other day of him saying 'no thanks i can't read'. wasn't me playing into the stereotype of-#'haha dumb country boy can't read!' it was. in my eyes. something he'd say as a joke to make light of a potential insecurity#like. i think there's far more depth to Boothill's character if ppl could look past the surface. and i dont wanna contribute to the problem#but sometimes ppl Will have stereotypical traits and i wish the same could apply to characters as long as it's done Thoughtfully.
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sskk-manifesto · 4 months ago
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#Fifteen episode 2. Mmmmmmhhhhhh#The animation quality DOES get worse. This episode shows it lol#So many static frames stretching for so long... I feel so sorry for the animators.#I still stand by the fact that if studios can't provide enough budget or time to their animators seasons simply shouldn't be released.#But after all who am I to talk...#The scene of Dazai shooting at the soldier makes my blood freeze. Rimbaud throwing books in the fire is equally upsetting#Like I /know/ it's an anime about literature with constant metafiction references–#and that this too has a symbolic meaning and is *supposed* to be upsetting but that said.#Seeing whole books being thrown in the fire is such a disturbing sight that calls for such a visceral response in me 😭😭😭#The amv opening is nice! Makes me even more bitter about season 5 one lmao. Of the kind#“not only we had to get a amv opening (((while we deserved a wholly ss/kk focused opening)))‚ we even got a bad amv ending at that”#Mmmmhhhh I hateeeeeee how they handled the Sheep 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 Seriously this is just another bug instance of#“me and the author have WHOLLY different views of what human nature is like”#I just... Don't think... Children joining together in an hostile environment would act like that. I'm so much more of a t/pn kind of guy.#Children who come together to survive would protect each other and especially would trust each other. Why is there such a big lack of trust#Why doesn't Shirase trust Chuuya? Why doesn't Chuuya trust Shirase (with handling more information)? It's just dumb#It's dumb. It sounds stupid from the very plot aspect that Chuuya would act so shady and suspicious with the Sheep instead of being open–#about what his course of action is. It's like he was trying to have them turn on him. It's stupid of Shirase to mistrust Chuuya–#when in eight years he never gave them any reason to doubt of him.#And I know right as I'm writing this that someone is going to read it and think “you're completely missing on the unbalance of power that–#creates these dynamics of lack of trust” but the thing is exactly that I don't see why that unbalance of power would ever come to be!#They're all just kids. They're aware of that. If Chuuya never had malicious intentions towards Shirase‚ I don't see why he would ever fear–#his betrayal. Likewise‚ I don't see why Shirase and the other Sheep members would ever be so manipulative and disrespectful towards–#Chuuya if he's been nothing but kind to them (and we have no reason to think otherwise)?#It all comes down to: I think people are inherently good and willing to help each other. The author thinks not lmao. It is what it is#But I wish you could see t/pn. Where kids are constantly trying to outwit each other in order to OUT-SACRIFICE THEMSELVES for the others lo#I love t/pn it's my life... I miss it#random rambles#And if anyone would like to argue that Dazai specifically set them off to betray each other... Yes I DO understand that's what the story–#is suggesting. I just don't think Dazai - for how good. and infallible he is - is enough to scrape long-term relationships of trust.
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cathodic-clairvoyant · 6 months ago
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There's a lot about discussion of hdwr that baffles me (not all discussion to be clear, because i do think there's a lot of good discussion about hdwr. But equally so are there the ones that make you wonder if you're reading the same story) and I think one that is especially annoying is the constant infantilization of miwa as this passive eternal victim. It drives me up a wall because this is quite literally an issue she's struggled with within the text of the story! She had an arc about how she dislikes how people treat her this way like towards the beginning of the story! And like even ignoring that, this story is about like nuanced and realistic portrayals of being in relationships and learning how to navigate them and so it's like what's the point if you're going to immediately reduce the characters to "the victim" and "the victimizers?" Is that even interesting? Is that a useful lens to look at interpersonal relationships?
#how do we relationship#hdwr#this is about the poll in the subreddit but i also saw similar comments (mostly about sae) on the website i was initially reading hdwr#i dunno like i'm like miwa fan numero uno so like i get ardently defending her but in my opinion#part of what makes these characters interesting is that all of them are extremely flawed in ways that can negatively feedback on each other#miwa has also done bad things to the other characters and been bad for them as well#i do think miwa repeatedly trying to turn being fwb with sae into a second chance despite sae clearly saying no#and repeatedly breaking sae's boundaries during that time was bad and shitty of her#i do think her avoiding tamaki and trying to supress her feelings despite that not being what tamaki asked for or wanted was bad andimmature#i do think that while miwa was under no obligation to say it to her i do think miwa's inability to tell sae that she loved her#even while asking to get back together was undeniably bad for sae as someone who had insecurities about being loved#personally these things are not unfortunate irredeemable aspects of her character#nor do they justify or excuse what happens to her#but instead characterize her as being inexperienced with romance and having strong feelings she isn't always able to completely express#or understand fully. this is an aspect of her character that is relateable and understandable to me#i find it hard to say that if i was in her position i wouldn't make the same mistakes as her#and like this is just one aspect of miwa's character. she of course has more than this which is why i am miwa fan numero uno but also#the same is true for like all of the main cast#they have depth and flaws that are relateable and realistic. even if you don't like a character's actions they're internally consistent#within not only the character themselves and the context of what they've been through but also the narrative itself i feel#which is why i like this story#so it feels unfortunate to flatten that all into who hurt who more or who is innocent and who is evil or whatever#like yes i obviously do think what sae did in like volume 5 was bad i also think what she did in vol 1-4 were also various shades of bad too#yes i do think what tamaki did in 103 was obviously bad#i mean ch. 119 and ch. 120 most likely are about exploring the consequences that has had on miwa#i just don't think it's useful interesting or even correct to look at those events as 'bad people doing bad things'#also while not related to miwa i think people who treat yuria and sae's relationship this way also baffle me i cannot understand it#channel 3
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