#am I good enough

[elysiumwhispers]

"I would have felt deeply guilt withouth knowing why. Then with every moment that passes, I'd have made more blunders, I'd have plunged deeper into my guilt . . ." - Sartre, Nausea

[townlizzardposts]

When someone tries to interfere with me and my friends tism time

[soulinkpoetry]

Are you even a writer or a poet if you don’t doubt your writing at least once a day?

-Soulinkpoetry

😜

[sillyinternetgf]

found myself again

[friendlyfox34]

…

[backwardswalks]

grad skewl orientation tomorrow……. what if i

[ragefromwithout]

happy halloween from me in my truest form (a freak, an abject horror)

photography: @bhamphotographyartist (IG)

[nevil-gonslek]

A little flower boy, tending to his own

A little flower boy, all by his lonesome...

A little flower boy, scared of the dark.

A little flower boy, loving but not loved.

A little flower boy....tired of this routine..

A little flower boy....wilted..beyond....belief.

[notyetaghost]

Can i ever truly be happy

It was a beautiful day outside

I read something i loved 

And not bad happened

And yet the thoughts in my head

Still clamour and chase for my death

I won't never choose to end my existence

But i can't help but wonder

If i was told tomorrow i'd be dead

Would i really be sad about it

I exist surrounded by beauty

Yet my mind only wishes for death

If i was good enough

Would i still feel like this

Could i actually be happy?

I'm a shadow walking in skin

The person in the mirror is not me

If i was good enough would i be happy?

It's a beautiful day outside

The sky is blue, the birds are singing

I still want to die

[triangularitydubs]

Just a bit of a ranting post. To get things off my chest.

Believe the following if you want or not.

I voice acted Berdly(Deltarune) before Chapter 2. But of course never acted upon putting the voice anywhere but Amino, so now MOTI(Man On The Internet) created thr icon voice for him. Thats on me entirely. Still hurts though

I created a Spamton Stronger Than You long before Lidkas Plus+, even posted it proudly on my Youtube Channel(Its gone now) but of course HIS got the recognition and is widely known as THE Spamton Version of Stronger Than You

Now my only successful TADC AU, that happened to be based on Underfell, to me ar least, is probably gonna be shadowed by another person with the same idea, but BETTER.

This itself tends to be the reason I rarely share ideas. Always it seems someone else gets the better and more attention for their work.

I'll keep posting random stuff and bits regarding TADC and other random fandoms, but I feel like I shouldn't take the responsibility of creating things anymore. Maybe?

The thing thats stopping me is I have a passion for this kind of stuff. So...

I think the very reason is, I'm not as popular as some of those creators. I need to get myself out there. But it's seeming impossible, even if I tag the right tags, reach out to the perfect audience is it really all worth that time and effort?

Thanks for reading if you did. I just needed all that off my chest.

[anonimissallstar]

Gifted Kid Burnout

Am I good enough? Am I good enough really? I used to be smart. I used to be so talented. I used to be kind. I used to have a heart of gold but now it grows stone-cold. High Honor. Spelling  Bee. I still felt i wasn't good as me. Dancing made my heart fly but I saw the other dancers pass me by. Am I good enough? Am I good enough still? A star. An MVP. Coach's choice. Am I good enough for this reality? Sometimes I do well but never excel. I don't stand out and I burn out, just trying to reach the bare minimum. But then the bar was lowered. I didn't even have to try, but then before I could open my eyes I had fallen behind. Fallen back. Back. Back to average. Back to crying. Back to crawling. Back to wondering "Will I ever be good enough?"   I won. I got the best person. A ten. So perfect, so smart, so talented; such glee that a man like that could fall for me. But then I stop. And start to think. Will I ever be good enough to stand next to him? Accomplishments praise all things worthy, and  unenvied, but I can't compare. They look past me as I'm standing there. A DISTRACTION. That's all I am. Because I'm not the one who succeeds. I'm just there. I fail and I fail and I fail and I fail. The numbers drop. THEY'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO DROP. But down they go. They were supposed to go up. I tried this time. I tried and I tried and I tried But to no avail. Because despite all that I managed to fail. He's going to do great things, and I'm in the way. It doesn't matter if I try. My efforts are in vain. Because he has potential and I'm here to waste. They all rise. They all rise except for me. AM I EVEN SUPPOSED TO BE HERE? They're all smarter than me. I thought I could do it. I thought I could try. I've done it before so why couldn't I? Am I good enough where I am? No. I want to be good at something. I want to excel. I want to be successful and I want him to as well. I feel no jealousy for his success. He's perfect I could never love him any less. But I fear. I fear deep inside he'll realize his worth and leave me behind. Because here I am. Not special, No talent. my numbers decreasing. My chemicals unbalanced. I saw a future so bright made for me where everyone was happy and I DID succeed. But now all I see is I'm holding them back and I pray, pray I'll keep me on track. To strive to be better. To work for perfection. I know that HE loves me. But it's not his love I lack. The truth of the matter is I'm mourning my past. The only love I received was if I did something accomplished. the children would tease me, but the teachers gave me good conscious. I shone bright compared to others but now my spotlight fades. As I look to my future and my dreams wave. They wave. They wave goodbye. because all that I hoped for is hidden in doubt. Because I'm back to where I started. Am I good enough? Am I good enough really?

[yojoskive]

sometimes i just sit in deep silence, surrounded by my own thoughts and emotions, thinking of whether the people "I LOVE" ever felt the LOVE i have for them. I question myself everytime, "do they feel loved by me?" Or "will i ever be able to make them feel loved?" , "Are my actions enough to convey my true feelings?". Questioning myself everyday, i hope i do make them understand how much i love them and the importance they hold in my life.

[shekelesh-z]

here we go again...

[head-full-many-thoughts]

I believe I am on the cusp of loving who I am. Or at least, I am really good at lying to myself. I try to find worth outside of my body. I try to find worth below the first layer. I confidently believe I am a good person, and for that, I drown in guilt. Would a truly good person know they’re good? Would they label themselves as good in order to validate their self worth? Do good people value self worth the way I do, the way I am told I should? Would a good person need to be reminded they are good? Would a good person feel so phony?

I am on the cusp of loving myself because I don’t really know who that is. And so I love who I pretend to know, who I pretend to be, with hope that one day, I’ll grow to be who I love.

[morrigancrowphantom]

[ezracore]

this song is what the late winter train ride to go to that one school you went to after you got told you weren't good enough to go to public school sounds like.

also, every single song by the front bottoms sounds that way.