#always in love with doing these bcs u get to know more about me + i get to know more about u !!

[mossterunderthebed]

forking terrifying but also compelling

CAN U IMAGINE THIS AS GOJO

like a cult of sukuna worshippers coz he's like held up as some sort of demon god or smthg who has followers bc he became such from a human. and technically he WILL protect u but only at the cost of ur life and eternal servitude which. a yike. and so they get ahold of the PR or smthg (theyre led by kenjaku who's using them for Their own ends) and trap Gojo.

and then kenjaku's son (a young man raised by his gramps Away from All That) who's mourning the death of his gramps and searching for purpose and hope happens across gojo injured and bleeding discarded after they finished with him bc his wings are a Symbol but also store like 99% of his power. he only managed to escape after months of meticulous planning

and so yuuji takes him home and nurses him back to health and wow thosere some weird scars. and gojos super hostile and suspicious at first but also cant really leave bc he has v little strength

but yuujis used to cantankerous behaviors and the dread of a man abt to die and unsure what to do with how he feels abt it. and so he just takes care and takes care and takes care of gojo even cleaning up his messes and doing demeaning tasks

and NOBODY'S ever done anything like this for Gojo just helped him just bc he's a person and not a god who could save them or fight for them (or a heavenly soldier or smthg im still figuring it out)

and so obviosuly he ends up slowly falling in love with Yuuji and Yuuji with him in return. and their sweet domestic life is rudewly interrupted by Plots of the heavenly AND demonly kind. (rude)

and kenjaku is defeated and sukuna's cult ripped apart (bloodily) and gojo refuses to return 'home'

after yuuji dies (which gojo mourns hugely) he actually recieves a blessing from the Heavens for his good deeds or smthg which the gods are SUPER mad abt but like. lol they dont get to decide.

so yuuji becomes a god. and he's like the god of persistent kindnesses or smthg bc i want him to be ok? and u know they live happily ever after

BONUS!

gojo becomes even more whimsical and capricious and actually answers his followers' prayers something bc he has TIME for that now instead of constantly being blood soaked and used and fighting fighting fighting and he blooms into this silly sweet guy that dotes on his husband and is a little um. eccentric? crazy?

(SHH u idiot u cant say crap like that shut up they protect the village shut up! and u know what itadori-sama makes the best freaking jams so if u insult his husband he won't share any with u which is ur loss bc they are literally Divine made from fruits his husband gifted him from the Heavenly Realms so srsly. just. shut up. i want jam.)

Fake Angel by Kevan Goy

[peachhcs]

Could you do a social media post of Will and Samy from the wonder years, before they actually get together! Cause I feel like it would be so funny to see them be so oblivious and everyone in the comments would be so sick of them 😂😂

the wonder years archives → social media post

YES it would be the most hilarious thing EVER bc neither of them ever catch on but all of their friends do. i imagine this taking place sometime in their senior year of hs

(finding the old pics of will and everyone is so funny)

au masterlist

samyhughes gonna miss this place & these people

view all comments

lhughes_06 “this place” as if you aren’t going to school like 30 minutes away

| samyhughes can u let me live and be sad??

| lhughes_06 no

marcieevans11 STOP ur gonna make me miss it and it’s not even may yet

| samyhughes i’m already mourning the loss

marcieevens11 ugh i love u girl

| samyhughes I LOVE U why do u have to be going across the country on me 😭

lauren11 BABYYYTT ur all grown up now

| samyhughes BRING BACK MOES WEDNESDAY’S

hannahduke MICHIGANNNN UP NEXT!

| samyhughes YUPPPPPP

user1 omg little hughes is graduating hs already???

user2 awww she’s so old now

jackhughes skyline i’ll miss you

| samyhughes gurl u didn’t even go to skyline

_quinnhughes skyline 😵‍💫

| samyhughes u and jack CANNOT talk bc u did not go to skyline like luke and i did

| lhughes_06 YEAH exactly 😤

ryan.leno_4 😱😱😱

| samyhughes what does this mean??

gabeperreault44 tbh i am going to miss sitting in 30 degree weather watching u play soccer

| samyhughes just wait until college 😉

tyler___duke5 cool stuff samy

| samyhughes thanks tyler 🤝

drewf2 aw thanks for letting me live vicariously through you for 2 years

| samyhughes ofc always a pleasure drew

aram_minnetian nothing will ever top the high school ragers

| samyhughes TRUTH

user3 she’s soo adorable aw

user4 i forget she knows like half the hockey boy population

markestapa wolverines soon!

| samyhughes can’t wait!

edwards.73 UGH i’m old ur already a senior

| samyhughes ugh tell me about it

dylanduke25 hughes x duke 2.0

| samyhughes YUPPPPP me and hannah > u and luke

| lhughes_06 NOW i wouldn’t go that far..

_willvote freshhhh stuff sam

| samyhughes voteyyyyy thanks 🤭

jacob_fowler24 wait this is kind of an emo post

| samyhughes IKR???

zeevbuium28 #grad

| samyhughes 3 more months 😢

julianne_gelinas wish u were coming to the east coast with us 🥲

| samyhughes oh expect MANY visits

_willsmith2 damn no feature?? harsh

| samyhughes we don’t have any pics 😣

| _willsmith2 YES WE DO TF??

| samyhughes those can never see the light of day unfortunately

user5 the banter she has with will smith is sooo funny

| user6 i swear they should date i say this every time

| ryan.leno_4 @user6 u can say that again

| user6 LMAOOOOO omg??!!

rutgermcgroarty see ya in mich

| samyhughes can’t wait!

graceccsmith aww adorable sam!

| samyhughes CANT WAIT TO SEE U IN 5 WEEKS!!!

_willsmith2 last half 🥇

view all comments

gabeperreault44 so lean gets 2 features but i get 1??

| _willsmith2 forgive me gp

ryan.leno_4 ayeeeee love ya smitty 😍

| _willsmith2 love ya lean 😘

jacob_fowler24 last half best half

| _willsmith2 u can say that again

_willvote see ya in boston

| _willsmith2 next stop 💯

user1 aww omg these are so fun

user2 howwww does samy meet these hockey boys???

aram_minnetian good good stuff smitty

| _willsmith2 such good stuff

rutgermcgroarty fresh smitty

| _willsmith2 reunion soon??

zeevbuium28 damn no feature??

| _willsmith2 forgive me z 😔

hannahduke what an interesting combo of pics

| _willsmith2 and what does that mean??

marcieevans11 did samy choose these for you?

| _willsmith2 alright it was one time

| marcieevens11 right

graceccsmith can’t wait to see u back in beantown

| _willsmith omg ew i have to see u again

samyhughes why do u not look real in the 3rd pic??

| _willsmith2 what does that mean??

| samyhughes whoever edited those did u so dirty im sorry 😭

drewf2 take it or leave it

| _willsmith2 yupppp

hannahduke ok will

| _willsmith2 ok hannah

user3 i wish i was friends w them they all seem so funny

user4 to be a fly on the wall in their friend group 😭

lhughes_06 shoulda come to mich

| _willsmith2 i’m sorry 😢

jackhughes AYEEE good shit smitty

| _willsmith2 thinking about the days back on the rink together

julianne_gelinas samy is so right u look like ai in the 3rd pic

| samyhughes RIGHT???

| _willsmith2 alright i get it i look bad 😐

_quinnhughes they grow up so fast 😓

| _willsmith2 i wish i was 7 again tbh

tyler___duke5 good good 2 years with u big boy

| _willsmith2 back at ya duker good sharing the ice with u

[menlove]

random beatles lore i need an answer on. what’s the deal with paul proposing to multiple people before getting married to linda ? i thought he was just with jane up until linda like was he just desperate to have a spouse in that era or what

oh goooood question. we don't know exactly why he did all that bc he's never talked about it but i'll give u some details & my own two Potential Reasons

he proposed to three people Seriously: jane, maggie mcgivern, & linda. he also "jokingly" proposed to cyn and a female reporter? (or something along those lines i can't find the exact thing rn, if anyone has that one. i know i reblogged it at some point). cyn, he jokingly proposed to after john left her- brought her a single rose and said "how about it, cyn?"

but maggie and linda.... he wasn't with jane the entire way up to getting with linda. officially, anyway, bc if there's one thing paul loves to do it's cheat. one of the women he was having an affair with was maggie mcgivern. they had a 3 year long affair starting in '66. paul & jane broke up in july of '68 and in september, paul took maggie on a surprise trip to sardinia, where...

“We were lying on the beach just being young and in love. Paul turned to me, smiling, and out of the blue he just said: ‘Have you ever thought about getting married?’. I said, ‘yes, I suppose, one day…’ and I thought nothing more of it. Looking back, it was obviously the wrong answer. When I said one day I I meant in six months, maybe, but not never. But Paul was always slightly insecure and probably saw me as such a free spirit that he thought I was never going to settle down… I suppose I assumed that we would end up together but at the time I was just enjoying it all. In the ‘Sixties there was just so much going on that I didn’t have time to sit and think about the future. I suppose that, with the pressures of fame, Paul was craving security.”

maggie mcgivern, 1997 (x)

now, with linda... they started their affair a bit Before him and jane broke up. like i said, they broke up in july. but paul & linda had a "dirty weekend" in late june when he flew to nyc & then la. here's a longer post about all of that. so by the time he was proposing to maggie, he'd already had an affair with linda.

iiiinterestingly, he called linda & asked her to fly out to london in september (from paul mccartney: a life by peter carlin) and that's when their relationship became serious. so he got rejected by maggie (or he thought he did) and immediately went "ah right, who else could i possibly see myself settling down and having kids with? linda!" he still saw maggie for a while but eventually they stopped going out as he went all in with linda & wound up proposing to and marrying her.

as to Why The Hell Did He Do All That? well i have 2 thoughts on that

for both of them, though, i think it was really kicked into gear by john and yoko's relationship. like whether or not he had romantic feelings for john, i think he saw just how serious john was about yoko in comparison to cyn. and ringo & george were also married. when he talks about john & yoko, he frequently talks about it as the end of their bachelor days even though john wasn't a bachelor lmfao. but i think it kicked his ass into going oh shit i need to settle down and marry a woman too.

my Two Thoughts: a) the one i personally believe bc i think that man is queer as the day is long. but i think he realized that he needed to settle down and have that heterosexual lifestyle. he was the last unmarried beatle. there's this fun lil homophobic comment that reveals SO much about where paul's head was at imo:

-from "apple scruffs come to dinner" by andrew bailey (x)

interestingly, that's also the night they had a huge argument and he went to maggie's house crying (more about that in that source for maggie's quote up there). not sure if this was before or after the 26 year old queer comment, but i'm guessing after.

it's like a pretty Common refrain in history for queerness to be viewed as a sort of childish thing. like it's okay when you're young, not so much when you're older. i think with jane leaving & john getting swallowed up by another all-consuming, co-dependent partnership that Wasn't with paul, he realized he had to "grow up" so to speak. john had Grown Up and away from whatever fucky thing him and paul had going on and bc he always had to mirror john, he had to Grow Up too. which brings me to....

b) the other (boring) option is what follows if he's just your normal cishet dude and his 26 year old queer never to get married comment was Purely just him being a dick (totally possible lmfao, i just Personally think it still says a lot about him even if he didn't mean for it to). but it's still the same sort of motivation- the rest of his bandmates were married, john was moving on, the band was in chaos. he would've wanted to settle down and have children as is the heterosexual Norm and even straight people face pressure to do that in a certain amount of time. i really think the Franticness of it and the quick turn around with linda speaks more to a deeper underlying motivation, like being queer and the guy you're in love with has Grown Up, but it could just be a paul neuroses thing too.

tl;dr: man was juggling a bunch of affairs & decided he had to settle down and have a wife and kids Right That Second. jane dumped him and maggie said no, so he called linda and the rest is history. whether it's bc he was queer and panicking as he realized he was too old to be queer (my personal thought) or bc he was a straight man still under the societal pressure to have a wife and kid, we'll Never Know.

[faunandfloraas]

Ur latest Felix tags reminded me I'm a nosy nosy bitch so, if u wouldn't mind: fave skz haircolour (style too if u want) for everyone?

Ough... Okay

Chan: Dark brown. Curly. It'll always be elite to me BUT I still would love love love to see him grow it out a little longer... lil beach vibes maybe. Or sleazy mullet... just to see. Regardless dark is always the winner.

For unnatural colours tho platinum chan was pretty iconic. And red chan. And bright orange thunderous chan. So shoutouts there.

Lee know... Hmmmmmm. Light, preferably cool toned or neutral toned brown

Idk I think it just looks so right on him... but after that black and then silver and purple were very fun too!

Changbin was fun purple but at the end of the day I am a black hair changbin enthusiast (plus his coloured hair fades so fast lol) extra points for undercut and for poodlebin though! (Also back in 2020 he had that dark blue for a minute and I liked that)

Hyunjin..... he's harder for me bc I kinda have liked every style he's had? But I will say the short blue moment that was fairly brief was good.... and I always like long and dark as well.... kiwi fruit is a really fun change of pace and I hope to see him dye it a fun colour bc like. Why not, yk. Or patterns.

Han... brunette. Dark brown specifically. It's the only image of him that lives in my head. I liked the longer, permed moment a lot, too. Silvery blonde was fun, too! I like length on him also like im sorry I'm just a long hair enjoyer most the time. I would like to see him with spiky short hair just bc I can't imagine it but also i sorta can? Like punky style...

Felix.... well... the aforementioned blonde. Blonde freckles beachy little sydney surfy vibes.... idk man everyone's mean to him about his allegiance to the blonde but I can't say shit bc im in exactly the same boat lmao ALSO BROWN. lighter brown is well underrated on him, imo he was cute as a brownie boy...

I'm also firmly a long hair felix person. But mullet was fun and I would like to see him get a more severe, unique style at some point... for bright colours though, blue was cool!

Seungmin + Sandy blonde is like a match made in heaven to me... it just really suits him... Plus the mullet was just fun after they'd given him the same cut for 3 yrs so it'll always be iconic to me... but outside that black and brown are very nice and fluffy black hair + bare face + glasses is the supreme seungmin in the end

Maxident fringe and grapefruit 5star minnie were also stand outs, though. (And I'd still like to see him with it a little longer. Curiosity killed the cat and all that)

Innie and ginger and length was my fav fav fav he looked so good.... also blonde, but not platinum, and with a bit of nuance was SO Good. Ginnie still takes top spot to me..

Black hair + length is also a winner though... I'd like to see him do purple or something sometime, as well. Also, he could pull off a real short haircut as well, I think... but that's just an idea.

So yeah :) I'd like to see Changbin with a couple pink streaks at some point also. And lee know pink. Cool toned pink, though. And... many others I can't think of rn lol thanks for asking, though!

[yuwuta]

JJK OLYMPICS OHHH YOURE A GENIUS

head spinning w sooooooo many athlete aus rn….. 

satoru honestly isn’t half as cocky as the media makes him out to be but he could be because you bring up world champion men’s freestyle swim times and it’s his name on the scoreboard ten times before someone else shows up. he’s faster than himself by fifteen seconds all around, he’s earned a bit of cockiness. mentioned in the last post that whenever he’s at a competition and he finishes a race, he looks at the camera and signs a little infinity sign and then blows a kiss to you. some bitter old coach always calls him out on it, and gets him fined for unsportsmanlike conduct, and he’s happy to pay the fees if it means getting a message home to you, but eventually you two come up with a new code; and at his next race, he places gold, turns to the camera, crosses his middle finger over his pointer finger and smiles. when he’s in his post-race interview, he makes sure to explain that he does it for you with the widest smile on his face.

megumi nepotism baby but not in the same sport. toji was a multi gold medalist back in his heyday for shooting, so it’s not really a surprise to anybody that megumi has scary good aim, but he takes to archery instead of shooting. actually the idea of megumi being an emo little kid and throwing rocks at a tree when his dad pissed him off his hilarious, and even funnier is toji watching him, slightly amused and a little scared because megumi is maybe six and hitting the exact same spot every single time. he grows to be very blase about it—it’s more of a release/hobby for him that he happens to be really good at, and well, now good enough to earn a few olympic medals. megumi is not a fan of having his dad ruffle his hair on international television after he’s won, but he supposes it can’t be helped.

i don’t know where to put yuuta…. tennis…. tempting….. him in his little white shorts…. little grunts after he serves…. cries….. a complete 180 in his personality when he’s playing vs doing anything else. so charming and sweet and kinda shy when he’s being interviewed, and the second he steps on the court his eyes are so cold it’s scary…. need him… extremely nerdy about his rackets, and shoes, and clothes, and rambles to you about aerodynamics and posture and torque whenever you ask him to teach you, and you always have to shutup him up with a kiss and remind him that yeah you sort of want to learn to play tennis for him, but mostly you came bc he looks hot doing it. once he got asked in an interview if he ever thinks about you while he’s playing and his response was very concise, “no, never. it would be a big distraction,” and did not realize the implications of his heavily televised words. 

also…. not to make this post 40% yuuta but we could pull from canon a bit and make his sport fencing. he doesn’t excel because he’s the strongest, it’s because he’s learned to treat the sword as an extension of himself and a good strategist… also because i like the image of him pulling the helmet/mask off and shaking his hair out………..

don’t even know where to put yuuji…. volleyball? basketball? track and field??? the irony of him easily being the most athletic but canonically does not want to play sports 😭 but i can see him playing a sport because someone scouts him and it turns out to be a way to make steady money to support himself and his grandpa :( by the time he’s qualified and made it to the olympics, wasuke is doing much better (thanks to yuuji having landed some preemptive sponsorships and being able to afford better medical care), but not so well enough that he can travel across the world to watch yuuji play. wasuke tells you that you should travel and be with yuuji, but yuuji is so touched by the idea that you would stay with his grandpa and be by his side when he’s away :(( he wins gold, of course, and he doesn’t even wait until the closing ceremony—which, he’d mentioned in all of his interviews, so nobody can be too upset. he’s on record saying, “i’m excited to play, but i’m even happier to be going home. my girlfriend and my grandpa are watching me and i miss them!” several times— he’s on the first flight home with flowers, and tears in his eyes. puts his gold medal on his grandpa’s neck as a thank you, and spends probably thirty minutes straight hugging you and kissing you and honestly don’t put it past him to propose now that he’s got nike ambassador money 

nanami started judo as a way to relieve the stress of his overbearing job, and someone at the gym/training center notices he seems to be a natural despite being a beginner. he starts to draw a crowd, which annoys him at first because the point of judo was discipline and release from having to deal with too many people at his office job, but nanami supposes he can’t be too mad when you introduce yourself as a talent scout and offer him professional training. there’s irony in him accepting your offer, because it was definitely not based in professionalism at all… quitting his job as a salaryman to become a professional athlete in his mid-twenties was not on his bingo chart, but if it means he will have met you, then so be it. you’re with him all the way, through his training, competitions, world championships, qualifiers, all the way until he’s on the podium. you’re the first to congratulate him, but he interjects by telling you he’s quitting. you ask him why—he just won at the olympics for crying out loud, but nanami just shakes his head, puts down his flowers and his medal so his hands are free to hold your face and tell you, “it would be unethical to kiss my manager, so i am quitting.” (later, when everything is said and done, and you two are cuddling, you mention to him that he could just hire a new manager, and not quit his new career, to which he blushes because yeah… that’s probably more rational, but rational was not in his train of thought at the time)

[bidisaster-peanut-romano]

soo hi everyone!! i'm back on my bully essay/meta/something writing!! sort of. i did this.

anyways anyone who's been on this page for some time know how from time to time i have insistently mentioned the parallels between lola and peanut, right?

welp! that was a joke but the time has finally come!! a super-pretentious essay just for the fun of it!! (and also bc i haven't been writing actually argumentative texts in like months perhaps a year, so. yikes, i really need to practice again)

word count: 2.2k WOAH. IM SORRY

i, in my corner, with my monstrous needs. — susan sontag, as consciousness is harnessed to flesh

take this quote both as a title and an anticipation of what is to come. the essay will be distributed analyzing first the dependence of each of them on johnny, to then draw comparisons. i'll make sure to steer as away from headcanons as possible, sticking closely to the source text. obviously, some things' interpretation might be ambiguous, but, you know. your usual occupation hazard.

also, a disclaimer before we start: while they are psychologically complex and there is always a mimetic intention in developing them, these are fictional characters, and, as such, their primary function is to be vessels for different themes, questions and so forth. therefore, i will prioritize meaning and themes over moral implications and similar elements.

i. peanut

for how much i can adore talking about him, the way peanut depends on johnny is very much on the nose; worn on his sleeve, even. in 11:11 minutes of voice lines, he mentions johnny 30 times.

many interpret this as the caricature of a boy crush, but i have reasons to believe it is much less cute than that.

the problem is that, really, more than trying to identify specific situations... peanut seems to rely on johnny for a significant part of what he does. when he does good at dodgeball:

Look at me, Johnny, look at me!

almost like a child calling for his parent's attention to be praised. he calls johnny's name when he's going through hardships, when he's scared or when he's sad.

more than someone he just loves, johnny is a point of reference. whenever there's something going on, whenever he does or has to do something, his first thought goes to johnny; vice versa, what johnny asks of him is his priority.

I gotta tell Johnny! No time. I gotta see Johnny now. Gotta help Johnny. What can I do next to please Johnny? I mean Lola! I mean…

(this also goes in a "negative" direction, envy being the other side of the medal to adoration. especially because, in some way, this reliance on johnny might be felt by him as emasculating, and, being johnny his model of masculinity, adding it to the napoleon complex thing, it's not hard to guess why it can be so unpleasant. we can see this manifest through some of the things he expresses in regards to lola- not as much an interest he has towards her, but the interest he wishes to have from her- which are a bit more different than it might seem at a first glance. but this is a mouseketool we'll need later. still:

Last time I saw her, Lola made eyes at me, not Johnny!

do we really need this part? heh. i'm not sure, but it's always good to point out)

(also, just because, for the purpose of this analysis, it might be useful to specify: while these sentiments are very much implied in peanut's canon quotes, we have no evidence in canon in what measure they are reciprocated by johnny. the fandom has universally agreed that johnny also views peanut as his Best Friend In The World; while in some measure, they must be at least a bit close, i think it is even safe to say, given the caricaturist nature of bully's characterizations, that johnny holds peanut in less consideration that peanut deludes himself into believing. quoting another post of mine, the kids who show some level of obsession towards their leader mention him on average ten or less times (gord mentions derby eight times, parker six times, kirby mentions ted five times). the leaders don't usually make names at all, that much is true; however, peanut mentions johnny 30 times, and, even in front of this proportion, johnny mentions peanut 0 times. just to make that clear)

overall, what undeniably shines through his voice lines is a feeling of general inadequacy, whether about his height, or his strength in front of a bigger adversary. the audios in which he tries to show off range from being disingenuous, to straight up improbable.

crossing what we have until now said, it is not hard to come to the conclusion that he really tries to make up, to fill this empty feeling of inadequacy by taking pride in his role as johnny's second in command.

while i am a big fan of bully's characteristic of having left much content out of the main game, leaving the gamers to dig it up for themselves, i do believe that scrapping some of the stuff that was prepared for peanut is a loss. we have a number of voice lines coming from chapter 3, in which it was heavily implied how important peanut's role as johnny's right hand man was.

for example, much like... all other seconds in command, really, he was to be followed and then fought in the rumble, before you could get to johnny, with the specific duty to cover his back. even his very first scene, the opening cutscene of chapter 3, i believe, is not to be underestimated. most of the other people, as far as i recall, call you when they need it in person; johnny, however, sends peanut. making him, de facto, an extension of himself, almost.

again, you choose the motivation. what is important, from a narrative point of view, is that peanut clings to johnny through these acts of service, almost making it the foundation of his personhood.

basically, he makes it so that, if he can't be of help to johnny, his whole self is fundamentally annihilated, giving himself completely to johnny.

ii. lola

with lola, reading between the lines gets a bit more difficult; first of all, because lola is much less transparent than peanut, her insincerity being a supporting beam of the whole chapter 3. secondly, whether she was done dirty by the creators or not, it is undoubted that being the perspective that of a teenage boy (namely, jimmy, but we certainly, as viewers, are brought to sympathize more with johnny than with lola) with all the prejudices it can bring with itself.

however, it doesn't mean that there isn't anything to work with- quite the contrary, actually. the issue with lola is that there is a certain amount of layers to get through before gaining a satisfying perception of her as a character. still, we're here to try our best, aren't we!

even behind the muddiness of her intentions and the manipulation she shows herself a master at, it is clear from the second we first meet her that what she does is in function of johnny.

to get through this mess with order, we'll start from an easy, measurable numeric information: lola mentions johnny in her audio files 19 times. which, we're assessed, IS a considerable amount.

we have extensively talked about the way her cheating patterns are a strategy not to succumb to the passive role of the girl in the heteronormative, patriarchal prototypical couple (there's a post here breaking down a lot of this stuff, if any of you is interested!!), so, instead of this, i want to focus on what lies beneath that behavior.

ultimately, the whole point is that lola expects and wants johnny to fight for her. whether is it because she feels taken for granted, or just because he can't perceive it if not through grandiose gestures like the rumble- your interpretation will work; she wants to see johnny fighting nail and teeth not to lose her, she wants him to show her that he wants her.

she's all about that attention, and she knows exactly what and how to do to get it. and i think this is especially clear when you compare the moments in which she knows there's no advantage she could go for; when she has understood that jimmy won't fall for her manipulation, when algie and chad leave her unsatisfied, when norton openly accuses her and antagonizes her - she loses her temper, lets go of that sweetened and/or flirtatious voice tone, abandons that specific kind of gesturing. she doesn't care anymore about obtaining something. she was actually angry, and she was actually upset that johnny had disappeared.

in some of her audios, she references johnny with some amount of fondness, as well:

Johnny and I were on the best date ever.

(there is also a voice line in which she says "He told me he likes me because of my personality. Isn't that sweet?"; due to it being a general chatter and not exclusive to one chapter, i assume it is relatively safe to assume she is quoting johnny. however, as i said at the beginning, we're trying to stay as close to canon material as possible, so, do your thing- and i'm open to arguments!!)

a considerable amount of audio files, however (which will lead us to our final point) is about her... calling for help for johnny, or stating, confidently, that he will come save her, or avenge her later.

Someone get Johnny! Johnny's gonna get you for this. Johnny is gonna kill you!

but wait... i have some sense of déjà vu...

You're gonna be sorry when Johnny finds out!

iii. two faces of the same medal

if i had to pick an effective image for a metaphor, i'd say that the thing about lola and peanut is that they are both dogs looking for someone to take their leash; we’re talking here about an exclusive relationship with someone they can rely totally on, someone we’ll call the Other (with a capital o, distinguished from just other. yes it is unnecessarily complicated i’m sorry).

for what my professor would call accidents of history, it happened that both of them found that Other in johnny.

each of them attempts at creating an exclusive relationship with the Other, one foolproof and fundamentally… perfect. perfect in the way that everything works like oiled gears, in the way that every next move is predictable, in the way that any accident will not break the created equilibrium. (even if, in the general sense of the term, lola and johnny's relationship is everything but perfect, it is in the connotation that we have established here. lola is aware that, no matter what she does, johnny will come back around. hell, the very thing that she does is aimed at keeping that balance; specifically, keeping him a bit on the edge, pushing him into a corner where he has to actively make an effort to keep her close.)

they both hide something they are ashamed of, regulating not only their actions and reactions but their very way of existing in the world, in order to keep that gear working, in order to remain in johnny's hand. lola hides that craving for a genuine and stable affection, dissimulating it with the cheating and the fatuous physical demonstrations of closeness; peanut hides his sense of inadequacy and complex of inferiority, by being the tough and reliable second in command.

basically, what they mean to achieve is a sense of security, the safety of not really being the one to lead but, at the same time, finding a purpose, other than a shield from the outside world that they are not willing to concede themselves to. like a... symbiotic relationship?? i was going to say parasitic, but, yknow. the Other does get some advantages, which are, respectively, peanut's acts of service and lola's capacity to boost johnny's pride.

now, of course, johnny is not aware of either of their play. which makes it even better, since, as we already said, both of their approach to the relationship needs some degree of insincerity.

like, i don't deny that johnny might be a good friend, or a loyal one. but he is an oblivious, prideful fuck who can't see past his own nose; he's got a tendency to make it all about himself - which of course goes perfectly with what we said about both peanut and lola making the Other their center, taking up, in a certain way, a passive role in the relationship.

this way, both of them aim at creating with johnny a relationship that is, in a way, codependant and conditional, in which the do ut des (their respective "service" ↔ johnny's guarantee of stability) creates the foundation of the very relationship.

this, of course, brings up the problem of exclusivity; on which, however, i prefer not to delve into too much, as this would bring us to the topic of their antagonism which... isn't really what i wanted to go for, at least not here. (it would risk bringing us a bit too close to my subjective interpretation and too far away from the canon, which i PROMISED i wouldn't do. however, someday i might elaborate on that??? idk , please do lmk if someone's interested around here)

i will, however, show you a diagram (it looks like a triangle- i guess it is, but it is VERY important that it is a pyramid, with a top and a larger foundation) and a quote, to wrap this up bc i think it is already WAY too long and ramble-y lmao. let me know what you think anyway, my ask box is always open <3

it almost feels like a joke to play out a part when you are not the starring role in someone else's heart you know i'd rather walk alone (i'd rather walk alone) than play a supporting role if i can't get the starring role -- starring role, marina and the diamonds

[ninkaku]

name. sage pronouns. they/them preferred comms. discord! i'm less likely to just hand it out if we've never interacted through the dash and/or tumblr ims (yes they suck) but discord is my preferred method of communication and where i check the most :p name of muse. osamu dazai (+ then my ever - growing multi, +imitor with a muse list that will never shorten, over there i do much prefer to write my ocs when i get the chance but i love all my canons to death too !!) experience in RP. twt rp in the sherlock fandom circa 2010. and then i joined tumblr in 2015, left again for twt rp to write a plethora of the originals you see on my multi today! i came back here in 2021? left again, then came back earlier this year! i think there's something to say that i used to write sherlock and also moriarty, when you look at my muse list now and the character i've fixated on in the glorious year of 2024 (cough, cough - dazai. cough, cough.) best experiences. probably now ? being introduced to bsd after putting it off for almost 3 yrs (sorry macy) was great for me as i've latched onto the world + lore and as a result am very attached to dazai. he just takes up a lot of space in my mind and i love exploring him as a character with so many different sides. but i think i've enjoyed all of my rp experiences as they've come and have put a lot of effort into the friendships i've formed as a result and have travelled to meet friends, but ultimately where i'm at right now is arguably the best. technically it would stem back to 2021 but i met my girlfriend through the grishaverse / secret shanghai rpcs and am the happiest i've ever been as a result :p pet peeves / dealbreakers. i have a lot that i talk about and some that i don't, being that my following/followers are mainly comprised of mutuals and so i curate my space with the utmost care and weed out what i don't like/don't agree with. most things i speak about on dash here and +imitor but i should really add things into a dni even though i don't follow people back if i can see i'd get easily irritated by their content and/or they interact with/write things i don't like. i have the most basic of ones but i think off the top of my head currently the worst one is erasure of women (esp woc) in media and erasure of wlw in media. people think gender - bending their faves from men to women (i'm not including trans headcanons in here, that's totally separate and a non - issue aside from seeing them used purely for sexual fantasy (not here mostly, on twt) - which is not progressive) instantly makes it wlw representation and it isn'tttt, the quicker people learn that, the better. muse preference (angst, fluff + smut). i'm an angst preferer :p to an insane degree almost. i write it well, i like exploring emotion be it happy or sad and like writing tragedy. fluff is next because again it can be so emotionally driven and that's something i really enjoy. smut i only write with one person and that's not going to change. i never used to write it and if i wasn't writing it with her, i highly doubt i would ever be comfortable enough again to branch out and write it with other people. even then it's an still an insane amount of introspection and character exploration but with everything else i just fade to black. :p plots or memes. both! i utilise memes to use when i can't deal with my drafts and want to write (nobody ever has to respond to a meme i deliver if i haven't yet replied to a thread, it just sometimes helps me get into writing) but plotting is preferred for threads or threads that we take from memes to make longer! are you like your muse. like dazai ? not a huge amount. i think i'm funny but i'm unfortunately not a genius! as for my original characters i put a lot of myself into them and their writing, so they're the most like me! esp my unaffiliated originals :p

tagged by. @avichor <3 tagging. @trelonkan, @justsurvival, @nvictive, @reawaken + @tormenther and whoever else hasn't yet done it!!! tag me and say you stole it so i can see it :p

[puppppppppy]

i think the reason why im so drawn to spirit tracks and pkmn scarvi is that having the legendary/princess as a companion rather than a goal that marks the games completion makes me feel satisfied the way i would after helping a friend

my brother always teases me about how I still havent finished botw after almost 7 years bc "id rather be out picking flowers" which i wont say is untrue. and yes i know Zeldas been holding off ganon for 100 years, yes i can get some sort of idea what her relationship with link was like by recalling memories and going through her diary. ive always loved botw for its unique storytelling and setting which makes it stand out, because it lets you get to know who you're saving.

but because theyre memories, it only works if theres something for the player to investigate that already happened. its retroactive (but effective nonetheless)

on the other hand, spirit tracks does something similar but instead of having the player try to piece together memories and interpret them as a spectator, you actually have an opportunity to get to know zelda yourself by talking to her and working together. besides making it a gameplay mechanic, giving the player control over how they interact with zelda makes it so much more personable.

and I find that making the goal feel personal instead of an obligation gives me more of a reason to work towards it. I know what kind of person botw zelda was but as the player, shes still very much a stranger to me. but spirit tracks zelda? thats my friend!!!! she invited me to go to the beach after we get her body back!!! i dont want to whip her to make her move faster thats mean :(

you know how hostage negotiators are trained to introduce themselves and get to know the person theyre negotiating with because its harder to hurt someone when you know what their favorite food is? its kinda like that, because it feels like im helping a friend than being told or led to do smth

and although i havent played scarvi myself, i feel an attachment to koraidon and miraidon even just watching playthrough clips because its like!! thats my weird scaly dog!! it loves sandwiches and we're friends!!! you know!!!!!!

[bell-swamp-fitzjames]

I feel such joy to know ppl & hear them share things with me. Looooove having friends and picking their brains, I really should do it more often than I do now tbh

[spagheddiesquash]

oooh theyre looking at u… furrowing their brows…. im sorry that expression is like my own dreamworks face its just really fun to draw. drew this bc i wanted to test out these cool free procreate brushes that i found on pinterest.

EDIT. reblogs >>> likes!! if u like it pls reblog so more ppl see it tyyyy

[sparkspropaganda]

like give this man more defined wrinkles and this is my vision. now to find earrings for wyll

[fappellmoan]

i dont wanna be a dick and act like i have no responsibility in this but after a point dont u think if all you ever say to ur friend is Omg you never make it out why dont you ever come out with us you bail all the time youre such a flake etc. dont u think that person (me) is like. not gonna feel so inclined to. be there

[swordmaid]

having shri’iia thoughts as one does bc GUESS who’s save file completely died when the new patch came out nooo we have to replay her again 🤭 alas. just stewing on the thought of how she never got to fuck her Mistress even though she wanted to…!!!! like she was out there getting psychologically tortured and mind broken but she was just like WHY won’t you fuck me im literally doing everything for you. which is so bad for her, woman who already has an excruciatingly low self worth because she missed the mark on the standard for lolth’s children (and that’s worse than not fitting in the standard at all) by something out of her own control btw (not being born in a noble house) but she’s been recognised and blessed by her goddess, and she’s been invited to join a drow house so everything should be good right?? she should be desirable right?? finally everything is correct and well and good and the way it should be right????? but no..!! it’s not..!! and so she’s doing everything for this woman, no dignity left, literally doing anything to get her approval, to be told that she’s finally enough, and she’s finally fitting in - and she gets it sometimes, she gets ignored most times tbh and it’s just this painful excruciating stew of self loathing and insecurity that she’s in, and she’s in there for a century but the thing is she can’t even give up. it’s not in her nature to. and she’s done too much to just give up , and she’s been doing this for a long time that she can’t give up and lolth didn’t raise no quitters so she sticks by it, trying to achieve that hopeless praise. but then one day she gets dropped like nothing, everything she’s done and suffered and worked towards and sacrificed gets thrown out bc her goddess isn’t pleased with her and good luck going home btw you’re not welcome here anymore bc ur pathetic. the rug gets pulled under her feet and she’s left in this strange world that she can barely navigate in let alone speak the language and u expect her to b fine with that…?

[ryuseitai]

guy that likes being independent when he has to do stuff alone

[vogelmeister]

been feeling mixed on some of my friends recently

[wiredsmi1e]

hi yes ive got sm to do today istg i just wanna