#always had a flat tire
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Sesame Street - Mary Had A Bicycle (full version)
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#kermit the frog#sesame street news#don music#bangs his head off of piano in despair#lambs aren't yellow#canaries don't run#painted red as fire#always had a flat tire#sesame street#jim henson#Youtube
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it’s always “how do you think they’ll feel when something happens to you?” but never “how do you feel about having to be pushed to this point?”
#lol like i don’t wanna feel like this constantly but I’m just so tired and frustrated constantly#i hate feeling like nothing i do will ever be worth it#I hate feeling so alone constantly and actually being alone most of the time#i hate trying to put myself out there but always falling flat bc i struggle in social situations#I hate always having to put everyone’s feelings and emotions first when no one’s ever put mine first#i wish i had my person but i always fuck it up and lose them#actually bpd#bpd safe#cluster b safe#cluster b#bpd vent#vent#vent post#mentally fucked#mentally exhausted#actually mentally ill#mentally unstable#bpd feels#tw sui ideation#actually borderline#bpd blog#borderline personality disorder#bpd#bpd life#bpd problems#bpd tag#borderline pd#bpd thoughts#bpd mood#bpd stuff
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my dad trying to explain to me reasons why the mechanics left my stick shift car in gear and the emergency brake off when parked six inches behind a trucks rear bumper, causing me to nearly crash into said bumper when i started it: well you see, on a hill-
me: yes, the gears a backup for the brake if the brake is set, but you see, IT WAS IN A FLAT PARKING LOT, and THE BRAKE WASNT SET
#jess talks too much#had a tire fixed today and nearly had four accidents just attempting to exit the mechanics shop#and when on flat ground i always leave the car in neutral and braked upon startup#bc sometimes someone needs to like. FIDDLE WITH THEIR SEAT AFTER TALL MECHANICS WERE IN THERE
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I don't care about the long-term negative effects of chronic stress, I care about the short term one of all my dreams being horrendous and bad and full of situations that I can't win
#em overshares#this is like the 5th night in a row that i have had dreams where i set out to fulfill a task and am unable to! or the end result is off!#sang a wonderful folk song about a whale but was ultimately unable to find and befriend it#became the proud owner of a Car that is Big Enough for my Belongings but lost them all and now i live there#had terrible sex :/#helped watch someone's cat but they told me he eats plain pasta for dinner and i got sad#on a road trip with my parents and my tires were flat but we couldn't exit the highway and I got pulled over#i am sure im missing some other weird scenarios that my mind has created to make sure my sleep is as unfulfilling as being awake#anyway sorry for over sharing and mentioning sex (a thing many people do and have. except when /I/ talk about it im Gross)#oh wait no i remembered another scenario#having to have sleepovers at people's houses that i barely know so im always uncomfortable and feel bad asking for a glass of water#anyway dream Me is going through it
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Yesterday I had a moment of peace where I found myself saying
"I'm excited for my future"
And the best part was that I actually meant it.
This is very rare for me. With my whole body and soul, I am realizing how thankful I am to still be alive. I don't actually want to die. I just want things to change.
I do look forward to my future. I look forward to getting out of my current hellscape. I look forward to being happy. I look forward to sharing spaces with my friends and living my best life and just enjoying every moment of being alive. To be able to stop looking backwards in somber, instead forward with optimism and faith like I once used to.
I learn to live a little bit more every single day. I watch the sunset now out my rearview mirror of my car and think... Yeah... I love being alive.
#always keep fighting#transgender#transmasc#pride#queer#actually autistic#actually borderline#actually bpd#autistic#borderline personality disorder#bpd#optimism#faith#depression#anxiety#i have a flat tire and im trying to find the good in the moment#i had a good day and i dont want to let myself ruin it
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The nicest person in the world is the lady who helped me tie my shoes at 5ish years old so i could go play during recess. (I elaborated in the tags but theyre fairly long,,) -???
#ive already told this story to some people but i love to tell it.#ok so when i was young i only wore velcro shoes bc i couldnt tie laces.#even now i havent learned the proper knot that literally everybody has learned. idk why i just cant commit it to memory but to be fair#i havent tried to learn it in years bc now i learned a different way to tie my shoes which takes longer so everybody is always like why do#you take so long tying your shoes.#but anyway this story is when i was around 5 maybe younger or maybe older but max 7 yrs old.#my mom only bought me velcro shoes since i couldnt learn how to tie my shoes normally and at some point trying to learn made me so#frustrated i just refused to try and cried etc.#so anyway in my old school there was this weird rule ive never seen anywhere else that we had to use other shoes in the class#i guess to avoid dirtying the floors or something.#and one time my mom bought me new shoes with laces and threw my old shoes probably thinking id have to learn it. i didnt lol.#so she tied my shoes in the morning and then i went to school changed shoes and like i had to like. put back my lace shoes on to go outside#for recess. now get that the teacher hated me. not sure why you would hate a child this age. but she was usually mean to me.#so when she saw this issue she was rlly annoyed and told me so and like the first few days she tied my shoes so i could go outside.#and idk after 2 or 3 times she got rlly tired of doing it and said i had to do it by myself. and she just like fucking left and went outside#leaving me alone on the staircase.#and now this building had a 2nd story which was like a house or flat where people lived. and they were totally unrelated to the school afaik#but the lady was always rlly nice. so she happened to be going down to go outside and about her day and she saw me crying by myself on the#staircase and said whats wrong and i told her i cant tie my shoes and she just helped me and consoled me and then i could go.#anyway she was an angel to me.#its hitting me now as i tell this that when i was a child many of the adults around me were really mean#so i really imprinted on nice adults like i thought they were really amazing and the best people ever.#anyway thank you for reading my story!!#lorisys
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I'm like. actively being abused at home. What do I even do about that.
#://#Today she said I am disgusting and unapproachable and will never have friends or find love because I make everyone I meet uncomfortable#Because I don't shave my legs#When I told her I keep blacking out from my chronic pain she said 'that's a little dramatic'#When I told her I should probably go to the hospital for that she shushed me because she was trying to watch her fuckin. Fringe show#Always with the shushing. Every time I speak :((#She said I should go out & do something and quit being so lazy. So i said I would ride my bike but the tire is flat#She said 'why are you so useless' :((#When I was projectile vomiting for three days I told her I had a 104°F temperature and she said 'darn'#I asked if she wanted to watch Ponyo with me and she said 'oh my god I don't want to watch your stupid crap shit'#When I dropped a cup of gatorade and mopped it up (agony for chronic pain btw) she felt where it was still sticky and said#I'm so stupid and it's my fault we have ants (we do not have ants)#So I said 'yeah mommy I think my fine motor skills are getting worse I can't hold things or swallow very well'#She said 'have you tried paying attention??' :((((#I told her I had a sunburn and it hurt and she said 'youre so needy'#I got beat up in middle school and I was crying about it and she said it was all my fault because I was annoying#I was also sexually assaulted that same week but after the way she responded to that I was not going to tell her#One time when we were at the doctor and checked yes for suicidal thoughts she started screaming and crying#About how much we hate her and think she is a bad mother and how ungrateful we are#If I read this list to her she would say I was making it up and trying to make her look like a bad evil person#Because she is!!! She insults and belittles me so much I genuinely wish she would just beat my ass instead#I'm 20 years old why are you talking to me this way#I know it's all verbal abuse but. I'm so fucking miserable I want to die living here#Oh wait one time she strangled my little sibling because they complained about finding blood in their can of tuna
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give summer a character arc challenge
#random thoughts#guess what motherfuckers it's blue man time#that fucking open your mind episode doesn't count#hate how all summer-centric episodes are based around bizarre premises which have little to do with her as a person#basically every summer-centric episode is claw and hoarder: summer edition#they resolved her 'i need to be popular' subplot without really going into why she wanted to be popular in the first place#like yeah they acknowledge it's due to a lack of self confidence but that lack OBVIOUSLY stems from her feeling unwanted by her parents#and being popular is a way for her to feel desired by other people#it's why she's so jealous of morty's relationship with rick: he obviously prefers morty and treats her as secondary#she wants to feel liked in a different way from how jerry wants to feel liked#jerry wants to feel needed without having to put in the effort to have something about him which other people need#he wants to be the archetypal 50s father who gives good advice and is respected by his family but doesn't want to or care to put in the work#he wants to be seen as a good person while making the choices he always has: the ones which benefit him specifically#he feels like the world owes him something for existing and he's being deprived of that something#summer meanwhile was neglected as a child due to growing up with parents who were in a dysfunctional if not straight-up unhappy marriage#she was an unplanned teenage pregnancy and was only born because her parents had a flat tire on the way to the abortion clinic#and her father took advantage of this setback and talked her mother out of getting an abortion#while she was unaware of the fact she was nearly aborted she has clearly long been aware of the fact she was an accidenf#in the comics beth lectures her about using protection on prom night and god.#imagine your mother telling you not to make the same mistake which saddled her with you#beth is a distant parent which led to summer lacking confidence in herself#her need to be liked stems from a lack of emotional support growing up#but like. they never do anything with this.#yeah she bullies her friend to fit in and changes her body to make boys like her more#but those are both like. the subplot of the subplot of their respective episodes#like i love the body changing subplot especially how it establishes beth's involvement in summer's mental state#like beth look at your daughter and see how insecure she is and recognize this is literally your doing#but the episode definitely makes it mostly about beth's inability to let others help her because of her daddy issues#i'd love it if they did summer subplots where she joins clubs and groups for an episode#like have her join a parody of the scooby gang and have her discover they're all faking it and the talking goose is a soviet spy or smth
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i'm not sure what's hit me today but i'm definitely having an altered mental state
#i always worry i'm going to do or say something that makes someone upset with me when this happens#bc i don't feel fully in control of myself#i also felt somewhat unsafe driving#hard to combat#haven't had anything weird#just some coffee earlier#haven't had an edible in awhile since i'm trying to job hunt again#don't drink regularly#wouldn't have drank in the last few days anyway bc i took a midol and am usually cautious of intersecting alcohol within a few half lives#of any medication#i'm definitely tired but it's absolutely not 'just tiredness'#i feel flat strange
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Man I need to get a new mousepad soon.
#I use things that are long past their ”use date” I remember I used to have a pair of slippers that I used to wear all the time#one day my mom asks to put them on for some reason. I give them to her and she immediately recoils when she puts them on#apparently they had a hole in them and were flat and hard#after pointing this out I then started immediately feeling immense amounts of discomfort and various bits of pain when I wore them#I decided to clean my mousepad a few weeks ago and my mom pointed out that it was worn out and then afterwards I found out why it was#occasionally sticky. it was leaking#one side of the cushion is half flat and the middle is full of weird vein like things#my wrist has been killing me as I’ve been trying to kick my#”only play video games late at night because I am cursed with always being interrupted when starting stuff”#thing. and the only company that makes quality blank ones doesn’t make them anymore#so I have might of been losing a bunch of sleep this past month about my predicament#so much ai and stolen artwork on Amazon#so much random anime girls and call of duty men#I have been in the MINES for days.#and the worst part is my brother had the best part of advice that I hate#”just find a character and have fun with it”#and it’s actually good advice but it’s still tiring that my brother is right about things#world of Warcraft war within comes out soon so going to have to get that ready#midnight brainrot#art#drawing#ibispaintx#wow that was a lot of tag rambling
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*+ᵎᵎ 🍊⋅ ˚✮ — quiet ride | fred weasley.
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+ᵎᵎ syn: a thirst about sneaking into fred’s room to ride him in the middle of the night 😮💨😩😵💫
+ᵎᵎ cont: approx. 0.9k, 18+, fem!reader, unprotected p in v, riding/cowgirl, hold the moan, dirty talk/language, pet names (love, doll), super horny!reader (ovulation mayhaps?), creampie, maybe a breeding kink if you squint, lmk if i missed anything.
+ᵎᵎ note: i’m so thirsty for him it’s not even funny.
the burrow was always so silent at night, the darkness narrated only by the shuffle of blankets and soft snores of its slumbering inhabitants; tonight was mostly the same— except for one section of the home.
soft pants, gasps, and whines flew from your lips as your hips dropped down on fred’s with dull, muted thuds — you knew you needed to be quiet, hyper aware of george sleeping only ten feet away, but it was so hard; he was filling you up so fucking good, stretching your sloppy walls and kissing your cervix every time he bottomed out.
“fuck, love, y’gotta be quiet,” fred whispered breathily, large hands bruising your undulating hips. “y’gonna wake up the whole house.”
of course, it was meant as a reprimand; but every soft moan and whisper of his name had fred’s cock kicking inside your pussy, betraying how much he really liked the sounds — but so did you.
you loved the small, slick squelches of his dick plowing into you; loved hearing his breath hitch when your cunt clenched around him; loved the soft, muted creaks of the bed frame as you rode his lights out.
it was so hot, your whole body flushed and buzzing, gut rolling and tense, pussy absolutely drooling around him; you needed him so bad, had wanted him all day. and now you had him, wholly and fully and deep.
there was no way you could keep quiet.
“i’m tryin’, fred.” you choked out softly, words hiccuped on a small moan. “b-but i can’t. your dick feels too good—!”
“fuck,” fred hissed, skull melting into his pillow and hips bucking up to shove himself deeper inside. “keep talkin’ like that and i won’t last long, at all, doll.”
you knew that already; you could practically feel fred leaking pearly pre into your walls, felt the twitch of his balls on every odd thrust, and his cock was so hard you thought it might be painful for him.
“hah, t-that’s okay,” you whined out, hips speeding up and slurping him inside a bit more noisily. “i jus’ wanna ride ‘til you bust.”
“shit, fuckin’ hell, you can’t jus’—!”
fred swallowed his words down immediately when a creak sounded from the other side of the room; the both of you stilled, frozen like ice, staring into one another’s wide gaze — there was a small shuffle before the noises quieted, and then there was just the light signature snore of george weasley.
you released a breath you hadn’t even known you’d been holding.
“maybe we should hurry this up, love?” fred suggested in a quiet whisper, and you nodded mutely — fred motioned for you to lay flat on him, and you did, relief sinking into your tired legs.
“might wanna bite down on something,” fred murmured as he adjusted himself beneath you, but rather than do that, you opted to simply nuzzle into his neck. the faint spice of his cologne lingered on the skin.
“oh, fuck!” you gasped when fred began fucking up into you at a near-brutal speed, his thrusts short and precise and — holy fuck, he was hitting every single sweet spot you had.
your eyes slid back into your skull as you whimpered and whined into his neck, pussy sloppy and fucked open over and over, fred panting and breathing heavy from the exertion — it was so hot, in so many ways.
“fuck, love, i’m — gods, i’m close,” fred warned, arms wrapped tight around your body and hips stuttering subtly. “shit, where should — where should i cum?”
fred always asked this question, always left you in charge of that — and tonight, you knew exactly where you wanted him to bust.
“inside, please, wan’ it inside!” you slurred out, body like liquid — fucked out and completely at fred’s mercy. fred hissed and his cock kicked against your velvet walls.
“are you — are you sure?” fred asked, voice seeming to border on an aroused whine. you nodded eagerly against him, heart picking up speed with each delicious slide of his cock; fuck, you just wanted to feel him fill you up. it’s all you needed.
fred was fucking you even harder now as his orgasm approached, thrusts wild and less pointed, balls twitching and throbbing — he was about to bust, and you were losing it.
“bloody — okay, fuck, yeah, i’ll do it inside. hah, gods, ‘m ‘bout t’cum— coming!” fred’s words were cut off by a guttural groan as he buried himself once, then twice, and one more time inside your pussy, then stilled as ropes shot from his cockhead. you swore you felt them splatter inside you, painting you completely as fred’s.
“hah, shiiiiit, fuck… ‘s so good, love. fuck me so good, don’t you…?” fred praised as he fucked into you shallowly, riding out the receding waves of his orgasm.
you weren’t sure why he was praising you when he did all the work; not that you minded though.
“‘m sleepy,” you mumbled into his neck, the realization hitting you at a rather random time; fred chuckled and brought a hand up to smooth through your hair, his lips connecting to your temple in a sweet kiss.
“then go to sleep, love. i’ll take of everything else, yeah?” was the last thing you heard as you drifted off, snug and comfortable atop fred’s lean body.
#*+ᵎᵎ 🍊⋅ ˚✮#harry potter x reader#hp x reader#harry potter#fred weasly x reader#fred weasley x reader#fred weasley smut#harry potter smut
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to the girl who broke my poor boyfriend before he made his way to me: I wish you the absolute fucking worst
#this poor man#just had to spend 30 minutes convincing him that I absolutely would not be mad at him if he went to bed because he was fucking exhausted#but refusing to sleep because “you want to talk and you’ll be mad#baby no#I want you to do what you want#I want you to rest if you’re tired for gods sake#please#he was like#‘you really won’t be mad for sure?’#NO BABY PLEASE GO TO BED IF YOURE TIRED#I hope whoever hurt him like this never gets green lights#I hope she stains every new shirt the day she buys it#I hope she has a flat tire always#I hope she gets stopped behind a train when she’s late for work#boyfriend tag#rey rambles
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there was a moment in which you really thought nothing could happen to worsen it. life with arranged!gojo was truly perfect, and you couldn’t imagine anything but.
nights were spent either each other, skin to skin, shading the warmth. mornings came and he’d awake before you, pulling you closer to his chest as he nudged his nose against your ears. sometimes you’d grumble about it, other times you’d laugh softly. gojo wasn’t what you imagined he’d be like, but it’s nothing to complain about.
when he wasn’t busy, or if he made time, he’d take you out to the forest on horseback as he listened to you speak. other times he’d take you to different bakeries, asking which one you’d prefer. you could feel his anxious stare, hoping that you were enjoying your time. you’d always smile back and assure him you were.
it had been months sense everything had worked out, and truly you couldn’t be happier. though the rumors and gossip never stopped, you just stopped caring about them. after all, people could say all they wanted, but they could never be as happy as you were and that’s all that mattered.
on the days when he’s with his advisors and counselor members you’d go to the village or find something to do around the estate, but every night he’d find his way back to you and so you never worried.
except for now.
you were aware he had a longer meeting than usual today, but with your anxious pacing around your shared bedroom, fidgeting with your ring as your eyes never left the grandfather clock, about to strike one in the morning. this was strange.
you had tried going to sleep, but you awoke in only half an hour to see that your husband had still not returned, and this put you in an even worser headspace.
gojo had assured you that nothing was wrong, but there had been strange chatter around the estate walls this past week that you couldn’t shake off. maids sparing worried glances to you whenever you passed. it was common knowledge that they were the ones that knew the gossip first, but you so desperately wished to know it now.
it took nearly another hour of your frantic effort to stay awake when your bedroom door creaked open and gojo walked in.
you stood up anxiously from the corner of your bed, taking in his tired appearance. his white hair was messy, eyes sunken in. when he saw that you were awake his glare softened slightly.
“you’re not asleep?” he groggily asked as he began to take off his boots, his back rippling with muscles from under his tunic as you gnawed on your lips and he stood up.
“couldn’t,” you simply said, leaning into his outstretched arms as he pulled you into his chest, planting a longing kiss to the side of your head. one of his hands pressed tightly against your back, not moving.
there was a moment of silence, one heavy and unknown as you listened to the sound of his heartbeat.
“is everything alright?” your voice was muffled, but still audible, as you finally asked the question that was searing into your head.
there was another beat of silence, but this one was uncomfortable. gojo hadn’t let go of you yet.
“yes,” he finally said, but you had heard better lies from your sisters after they ate your pastures and said they didn’t than this.
your brows furrowed as you looked up to him.
“what took so long?” you pressed, pulling away slightly as his lips formed into a thin line, and he dragged a hand down his face.
“just…state affairs,” he turned away from you, against eye contact as he ran another hand through his hair.
you scoffed, rolling your eyes as you crossed your arms over your chest. you thought that he had at least begun to trust you enough not to lie this blatantly.
“have ogres come back from extinction?” you tried to tease, but your voice was flat and you couldn’t hide the curiosity and hurt behind it. gojo didn’t laugh, which hurt even more. you leaned back on one of the pillars of your bed and watched as he stood with his back to you , contemplating something in utter silence.
how you loathed silence.
“what’s wrong?” you ask again, your tone heavy.
your brows furrowed even more, arms tighter around your middle as he heaved a heavy breath, and when he finally tuned you wished he would’ve just stayed hidden from you. because there were spots of red in the whites of his shimmering eyes, and that was more fearful than the quite.
you tilt your head, not knowing what to do, and see his breath in shakily. the only time you had seen him cry was that night he confessed to you in the field. never again. not until now.
you take a tentative step forward, eyes searching his but he can’t bare to look at you.
“there’s been some conflict with the south for a while,” gojo finally says, though it seems like speaking is physically hurting him, “and tensions only worsened when my father stepped down.”
you nod, knowing all of this. after all, you might’ve been kept in the shadows in your old life, but you weren’t daft. you tried to keep up with the relations of the state as much as possible.
“before i married you…i,” he squeezed his eyes shut, breathing deeply, “my father had made a agreement for me to marry the southern princess to mend our relationship,”
this you knew too. but you’re hoping that all your knowledge was just trivia and nothing that was serious.
you knew of the women gojo had lined up, but in his favor and not. the southern princess being one of them.
“so?” you shake your head in confusion, stomach churning, “you’re married to me now.” you say the obvious, but you see the way he smiles softly at that, nodding.
“it worked out for us but the south wasn’t fond of…this,” you watch as he twirls his ring around, “they’ve been holding off on trade with the north and anybody who’s pledged alliance to us.” gojo jams his palms into a his eyes. for a moment he doesn’t look like the ruler he is or the warrior he’s always been but a scared boy who doesn’t know what to do.
you take another step forward, leaning into him as he deflates into you, one hand protectively going around your shoulders and the other around your waist.
“we’ll figure this out,” you say as confidently as you can, “we’ll ask for a smaller cut of their exports than usual….or offer another northerner of higher ranking for their princess,” you offer, looking up at him only to see his eyes wavering, the tip of his nose pink.
he swallows thickly.
“we did,” he mutters, “we did all of those things. all of those things and more. but…”
he trails off and you shake your head, eyes wide.
“but what?” you press and he rubs at his eyes, at his stray tears.
he goes to open his kith but he can’t. you’ve never seen him like this. you feel tears coming but you don’t know why.
“the southern king, he,” your husbands voice cracks, and you pull away in shock, in fear, in terror as he tries to control a sob. the most feared man of all the land fighting down a sob, and all you could do was watch in fear.
“he’s promised war if we don’t abide by his terms.”
your own tears have stung at your eyes, maybe because your terrified of the response, making because a part of you knew that something good like this could only last for so long.
“and,” your lips tremble and how gojo longs to kiss it away, if only his hands weren’t shaking and heart pounding, “and what are his terms?”
a sad, sad look takes over his face, one that looks like a knife has been dug into his stomach and has begun to twist. he opens his mouth once, twice, and fails. he can’t speak. he can’t say the wretched words out loud.
“that,” a tear streaks down his cheek, hanging on his chin, “that i uphold by the initial promise. that i marry his daughter. that i separate from…” he blinks slowly, his mouth closing and then opening, a little gasp of horror leaving your own lips as you piece together his final words,
“that i separate from you.”
#gojo x reader#gojo x reader angst#gojo x you#gojo drabble#jjk x reader#jjk x you#jjk angst#jjk drabble#arranged!gojo
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elise critics annoy the fuck out of me tbh
#vent#thinking about this today#'her character is too flat / one dimensional' no it isn't you're just not paying enough attention or considering WHY she is the way she is#'she's selfish she wanted to choose sonic over the world!' and so what if she is selfish? she's a princess of a royal family#who never had a real friend in her life and never got a chance to actually LIVE and be a girl until she met sonic!#and on TOP of that - she's already lost her mother and her father. she's tired of losing people that are important to her!#she's a flawed character who has moments of vulnerability and impulsivity because she never was allowed to HAVE emotions!#and it grinds my freakin' gears when people try to come along and 'fix' her character - as if there was anything that needed to be changed#in the first place#no there isn't! you're misunderstanding her!#having characters - especially female characters - be flawed in media is so important#because 9 times out of 10 they always fall victim to the 'perfect girl who gets it right and is so much better than the male lead at#everything trope and never does anything wrong or selfish or make mistakes' trope and i can't fucking stand it man#its why i didnt really like princess peach all that much in the super mario movie. now THERE'S a one dimensional character imo#anyway i love when fictional women are allowed to be broken and flawed and ugly and be selfish and make mistakes and learn and grow from#said mistakes#i will defend canon elise until the day i die i stg#she's just a human being who was thrusted into an unhappy life and never knew real joy until she got a chance to experience it#and didn't wanna let it go
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nightmares | s.j
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in which you have a nightmare and seek comfort from your roommate.
pairing: jake x fem!reader
includes: nipple play, pussy eating, sleepy sex, unprotected sex (lmk if i missed anything).
it was childish, you knew: to be so afraid of a dumb nightmare that you had to go to your roommate for comfort.
but there you were, absolutely petrified. you laid flat on your back in your bed, not moving a muscle because you were so afraid. it didn’t help that it was storming outside either, the occasional cracks of thunder and lightning making you shiver.
when you checked the time on your phone, it read 2:19 a.m.
you briefly wondered if your roommate, jake, would be awake. it was dumb to even consider it because you knew he cherished his sleep, so he would definitely be passed out with it being that late.
even though you knew that, you still needed to be around another person. you were way too afraid to be by yourself right then.
you took a deep breath and pulled yourself out of bed. you leapt through your dark room and opened the door into the hallway. jake’s room was just across from yours.
his door was closed. you pressed your ear against it but couldn’t hear a thing. you were slightly frustrated that he was asleep, but it wasn’t like it was his job to stay awake for you just in case you had a nightmare.
slowly, you twisted open the door. his room was completely dark, but a flash of lightning illuminated his sleeping form for just a second. as you suspected, he was completely knocked out, buried under the covers in his bed.
you took a hesitant step inside, not entirely sure what you were doing by going into his room. you just needed company and the reassurance that your nightmare wasn’t real.
the door came to a close behind you, the sound of it shutting a little louder than you would’ve liked.
jake stirred, sitting up ever so slightly.
“y/n?” he mumbled, eyes squinted to look at you in the darkness.
“sorry i woke you,” you apologized, awkwardly standing by the end of his bed.
“what are you doing?” he asked. “what’s wrong?”
“i just…i had a nightmare,” you told him.
saying it out loud, you were embarrassed. you’d woken your roommate up like a child. you were selfish too for doing that. he worked hard and he was tired, thus he needed a full night of sleep.
“nightmare?” jake questioned.
“yeah,” you said. “i know, it’s dumb. i was just scared.”
“c’mere.”
your body filled with warmth and relief at the soft word from jake. he wasn’t mad, he was actually inviting you into his bed to provide you with the comfort you so desperately needed.
you crawled into his bed and slid under the covers with him. his bed was so warm and you immediately felt about a million times safer just being near him.
you laid on your side and he slid his arm around your waist, pressing his front side to your back.
you’d been roommates with jake for about a year, but you’d never once cuddled. you were friends��good friends, but you barely ever even touched. you never really hugged each other, never held hands, and especially never spooned in his bed before.
“d’you wanna talk about it?” he asked, his breath warm against your ear.
“no,” you said, not wanting to have to relive the awful nightmare. “i just couldn’t be alone.”
jake inhaled and all he could smell was the intoxicating scent of your shampoo. you were so warm and delicate in his embrace, he was definitely freaking out but trying his best not to show it.
“i’m here now,” he said. “nothing is gonna get you if i’m here.”
his words, for whatever reason, made your heart pound, made butterflies flutter in your tummy. to hear those sentences come from your incredibly attractive roommate made you…excited.
sunghoon was the reason you two knew each other. you were friends with sunghoon, jake was friends with sunghoon, and you all started hanging out in groups. you and jake coincidentally needed roommates at the same time, and then there you were.
you’d always thought he was hot and not only his physical appearance, but his personality too. he was sweet and caring and gentle, and you just really, really enjoyed him. his cute accent was a plus too.
“thank you,” you exhaled. “i knew you were sleeping and i really didn’t wanna wake you. i just—”
“hey, it’s okay,” he assured.
you suddenly felt the soft tingling sensation of his fingers grazing up and down your t-shirt clad back. you sighed in pleasure, letting your eyes flutter shut.
“feels so good,” you told him, your voice in a mumbled daze.
“yeah?” he replied. “want me to keep going?”
“mmm, yes please,” you hummed tiredly.
jake cooed at your sleepy state and continued running the tips of his fingertips up and down the length of your back.
he continued to do that until you were slowly lulled into a soft doze.
after a few minutes, jake spoke.
“can i lift your shirt?” he asked.
your eyes flew open, startled by his sudden voice in what was such a quiet room.
“yeah,” you told him.
he slowly pushed your t-shirt up your body, revealing your smooth back. he left your shirt bunched up around your chest and reattached his fingers to your back, using his nails to glide up and down.
you leaned back into his touch, sighing in pleasure. jake’s breathing got ever so slightly heavier by the sight of your pleasured reactions and your pliant body against his.
he eventually switched to using the palm of his hand to rub your back soothingly. he rubbed along your back before his hand started inching to your side, and he rubbed there too.
he gently pulled you down so you were laying on your back. with him still laying on his side, he had a height advantage over you. he looked down at your tired face, licking his lips.
neither of you even said anything and mutually started leaning in at the same time. the moment was already intimate from him rubbing your back, it just felt right and normal to kiss.
his warm lips were heavy against yours, kissing you slowly and deeply. his hand came up to cradle your face, caressing your warm blushing cheek with his thumb.
“you’re so pretty,” he mumbled against your lips.
if you were any more awake, you probably would’ve been squealing and jumping up and down.
he trailed his hand down from your face and to the side of your waist. your shirt was still raised slightly, revealing a sliver of your stomach.
jake pushed your shirt up and stopped just below your breasts.
“can i keep going?” he asked, pulling back and looking into your eyes.
you were so excited about where things were going, you would’ve been an idiot to say no.
“yeah,” you answered, grabbing the back of his neck and pulling him back down to your lips.
he smiled against your lips and inched his tongue inside your mouth. you responded immediately, rubbing the slippery tip of your tongue against his. the sound was purely lewd, all wet and kissing noises.
he pushed your shirt up until it was over your chest, revealing your tits to him for the first time. the cool air in the room immediately hardened your nipples.
jake cupped your breast in his hand and swiped his thumb over your nipple, making you gasp and arch into his touch. he pulled away from your lips for a second to wet the tip of his pointer finger. he then brought his finger down to your nipple and rubbed it in little circles.
you moaned against his lips, jutting your hips up because you were suddenly a lot more needy that you’d realized. with the way he was playing with your nipple, it was starting to get you worked up.
he departed from your lips, trailing kisses down your chin, your neck, your collarbones, and finally to your chest.
he circled his tongue around the bud before taking your nipple into his mouth and sucking on it gently. you moaned out, entangling your fingers in his thick hair.
he played with the other neglected nipple, massaging it between his thumb and index finger. you spread your legs and tugged on his hair softly, showing to him how good it felt.
“you like that, baby?” he asked, licking your nipple in circles again. “is it makin’ you feel better?”
“fuck,” you moaned. “yeah, i love it.”
“cute,” he chuckled, switching to suck on the other nipple.
you weren’t sure how long that went on for. you just knew it was long enough for your panties to be completely soaked by the time he pulled away.
he kissed down your bare stomach and stopped where the waistband of your sweatpants were.
“can i keep making you feel good, baby?” he asked, his hand coming to wrap around your thigh.
you needed him to make you feel good. your pussy was so sensitive from being so aroused and you just needed something.
“mmm, please,” you answered. “it’s sticky.”
“it’s sticky?” he repeated, peeling your sweatpants down your legs. “let me see.”
he spread your legs and found that your flimsy pair of panties were completely soaked through from your arousal. he gulped, bringing his finger up and dragging it down your clothed slit.
you whimpered, jutting your hips up to try and get more contact out of just his one finger. he pushed your hips down.
“poor thing,” he cooed. “you’re soaked. did you like getting your nipples sucked that much?”
“yeah,” you answered pathetically, embarrassed.
“sweet girl,” he said, pouting at you. “gonna take care of you, angel.”
your pussy clenched around nothing.
he was quick to hook his fingers into your panties and slide them down your legs, tossing them onto the floor with your sweatpants. you were bare in front of him then, your cunt dripping and eager.
he spread your legs as wide as they could go. you felt so vulnerable underneath him. you’d never even hugged the guy, yet now you were there with your glistening cunt twitching in front of his face.
he held your thighs as he leaned in and look a long lick from the bottom of your sopping pussy all the way up to your puffy clit. he moaned as the taste of you infiltrated his senses, taking over his head. he knew just from that one lick alone that he was addicted.
“oh my god…” you trailed off, your hand finding his hair again to hold on to.
he started flicking his tongue up and down your folds, pushing his face into your cunt as deep as he could. he wrapped his lips around your clit, making out with it and drooling all over it.
for a moment, he pulled back to just look at your pussy. spread your lips with his thumbs, watching your drooling hole convulse.
“fuck, baby,” he nearly growled.
he couldn’t stay away for long and his face was buried back into your pussy a second later. he swiped his tongue back and forth against your clit, his eyes fluttering closed at the taste and the feeling of it.
“mmm,” he hummed into your pussy. “so sweet, baby. tastes so good. could’ve been eating you out since the day we moved in together if i knew you were this sweet.”
you could barely process any of his words, so lost in the pleasure he was giving you. his tongue worked your pussy like magic, slurping up your arousal and nibbling on your clit and thrusting in and out of your leaking hole.
“jake,” you cried out, tugging on his hair. “‘m close, fuck. i’m so close.”
jake dug his fingers into your thighs, frowning slightly in concentration. his tongue continued to move rapidly on your hot, gushing cunt.
the knot in your stomach suddenly snapped and your entire body fell weak. your eyes rolled back into your head and you fucked your hips against his tongue to ride out your orgasm. he moaned against you as the taste of your cum dripped down his throat.
he left your pussy with a kiss before sitting up on his knees. staring down at you, so sleepy and fucked out, he wanted nothing more than to stuff his cock deep inside of you and just pound until you both went dumb.
jake rubbed your thigh, watching your eyelids grow heavier and heavier.
“can i fuck you, baby?” he asked, slightly nervous about what you’d say.
you were tired, clearly. he wasn’t sure if you’d want to.
“yeah, jakey,” you said sweetly.
his heart throbbed at the nickname, and the fact that you were going to let him fuck you. the idea of what your tight cunt would feel like wrapped around his cock made him lightheaded.
he was quick to rid himself of his clothes. he was hard from eating you out and only needed to jerk himself off for a second before he was ready to put it in.
he lined the pretty pink tip of his cock up with your slippery hole and eased his way inside, not wanting to hurt you. he watched your reactions closely.
you looked up at him, your jaw falling slack at the feeling of his cock slowly filling your pussy up. your legs shook as he pushed himself to the brim, the tip of his cock hitting the spongey spot deep inside of you.
“oh,” you whimpered. “feels so good. i’m so full.”
“yeah, baby?” he cooed. “you nice and full of my cock?”
you nodded rapidly, sitting yourself up slightly so you could see his cock slowly slide out of you before pushing back in. your walls fluttered around him.
your pussy was so warm, wet, tight, and absolutely intoxicating just like how he knew it would be.
“such a good pussy,” he moaned, holding onto your hips as he thrusted. “got my dick all wet in your sweet cum, baby.”
there was a creamy ring of your cum around the base of his dick, which made a lewd squelching sound every time he thrusted.
you just whimpered in response, turning your head to the side. he was fucking you so deeply, dragging every inch of his long length through your tight walls.
you held onto his biceps, digging your nails into his skin. he bit his lip, looking down at your pretty supple body and the way you just laid there and took it, letting him fuck you nice and good.
“‘m close, baby,” he told you, grabbing your chin and turning your head so you were looking up at him again. “where do you want me to cum?”
you were so sleepy and fucked out that you could still barely comprehend his words. you also were starting to feel your second orgasm brewing in your stomach which made it even harder to focus.
you just babbled some incoherent nonsense.
“words, honey,” he said, squeezing your thighs. “tell me where you want my cum.”
“inside,” you cried out, tightening your legs around his waist. “wanna be filled.”
“fuck,” jake hissed. “i’ll fill you up real good. i’ll make you nice and warm, yeah baby?”
“please!” you yelled. “please, i need it.”
your words sent him straight over the edge. he choked on a moan as ropes of his warm cum spilled inside of you, drenching your walls.
seeing him hit his orgasm sent you over the edge as well, and suddenly you were clenching around him, sucking him completely dry.
waves of sweat and pleasure and euphoria washed over the both of you. you swear he was sending you to another dimension where the only thing you knew was pleasure and jake’s addictive cock.
he slowly rocked his hips in and out of you, milking both of your orgasms until you were both done and spent.
by then, you were both exhausted. he slowly pulled out and collapsed next to you. the two of you laid on your backs, staring at the ceiling in shock at what you’d just done.
you went into his room with the expectation of a little bit of comfort after your awful nightmare, not to have been given two orgasms.
for a few minutes, neither of you said anything.
then, jake spoke up.
“so, did i get you to forget about your nightmare?” he asked, turning his head to the side to look at you.
at that point, you couldn’t even remember what the nightmare was about.
“i think you did,” you answered.
he pulled you into his chest and kissed the top of your head. within a few minutes, both of you were asleep in each others arms.
-
a/n long jake smut for 1k and bc im horny for him.
thank you for reading <3
#enhypen#enhypen smut#enha smut#enha x reader#enhypen x reader#kpop smut#enha jake#jake enhypen smut#sim jake x reader#enhypen jake smut#jake enhypen#jake sim smut#jake x reader#jake smut#enhypen jake#jake sim#sim jake smut#sim jake
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I would love a take on boyfriend Ghost coming home to surprise you, but he finds your bed empty and doesn't realize that you are in his room in his bed. Thanks.
The placebo effect, was what he kept trying to convince you it had to be, no matter how many times you rolled your eyes and told him he was wrong
How else could one explain your insistence that Simon’s bed smelled so much like him, becoming your safe space when he was away on long deployments, when he only ever slept with you in your bed most nights to begin with
Hard to believe it was nearly three years ago now that you’d told your friend since childhood, Johnny, about how your search for a new flat was going miserably. You remember how he’d perked up and recounted with a mischievous glint in his eye about how his Lieutenant was apparently searching for a flat mate at the moment, someone who’d be looking after the place while he was away for work
Unsure about living with a strange man you’d never met before, but trusting Johnny’s judgement (though the way he seemed just a bit too eager about this meeting did kind of throw you off-) you had reluctantly agreed to meet with him and at least give the flat a glance before you simply turned him down
It wasn’t until you were knocking at the door of the address Johnny had written down for you, that you’d realized he’d never even given you the man’s goddamn name, only ever referring to him at Lieutenant or LT
Johnny apparently also failed to mention the absolute SIZE of the guy, his huge frame blocking nearly all of the light from behind him as he had swung the door open and stood in the doorway before you
In a slight panic, thrown off by the massive man before you and the way the butterflies in your stomach suddenly began to flutter at the sight of him, you had greeted him for the first time with a squeaky, unsure voice saying ‘Um, hi, are you the Mr Lieutenant?’ (something he has never let you live down since)
He knew then and there that you would be the one
Not just his flatmate (though what a generous flatmate he was when he offered insisted on moving all your boxes out of your old place and into his that very same day), but the one, something he reluctantly had to give Soap credit for, seeing as he was the one who wouldn’t stop talking his ear off about you
You would be his other half, his better half
And all these years later, the two bedroom flat truly only acted as a one bedroom, considering that from the start Simon was always falling into your bed with you at the end of each night, limbs tangled together under the warmth of a lovers embrace a thousand times more comforting than an actual comforter
Still though, that first time Simon had to be gone for work longer than a few weeks, you found the lingering odor of him clinging to his bedsheets to be one of the few things keeping you sane in his absence, taking to sleeping in his room for the time being, imagining that the pillow you cling to your front was a strong muscular arm instead, littered in scars and tattoos you feel confident you could recognize from touch alone
And when his long awaited flight back home to you landed a few hours earlier than expected, tires touching down in the dark, stillness of late night hour, he decided he’d surprise you and come straight home, rather than calling you to meet him at the base like you’d insisted, not wanting to wake you
Barely able to contain himself, he decided the elevator ride up to the seventh floor would take too long, take away precious seconds that brought him closer to you, and so up the flight of stairs he went, taking them two or three at a time, rushing to see the face etched behind his eyelids every time he closed his eyes, to hear the voice that haunted his dreams each night
Quietly as a man his size could, he crept into the flat, snuck his way into your room, expecting to see your sweet, sleeping form cuddled up amongst the blankets and pillows. But his heart dropped when he noticed the bed was still perfectly made, not a thread out of place.
Trying to remain calm, though his mind was instantly swarming with every possible scenario that could have taken place, he knew he saw your shoes and jacket by the door, you couldn’t have gone far… but where were you?
He glanced into the living room, wondering if he missed you sleeping on the couch after a long day, he poked his head into the bathroom, even went so far as to check the small balcony, but finally there was only one door left to open.
And there you were, safe and sound, a tiny ball curled up into the center of his huge bed, clinging to one of his old masks and holding it close to your chest as though it were a security blanket (you’d been sleeping in his bed so much you needed something that still smelled strongly of him, you were getting desperate)
Stripping himself down to only his boxers, he tiptoed towards the side of the bed, his mind finally feeling more at peace than he ever had, gently pulling the sheets back just enough for him to slip in behind you, his strong arms wrapping around your middle and pulling you into his muscular chest
Though it should be alarming to suddenly feel a pair of hands roaming over your skin, a body holding you firmly against their own, it’s as though your body knows who it is before your mind does
Any tension you were still holding onto during his absence instantly melts away, your own hands coming to land over top of his, giving a slight squeeze of acknowledgment, not yet willing to fully leave your half asleep state, but needing to touch him, to confirm he really is here
“Hmm,” You hum, voice groggy with sleep and a smile slowly stretching across your lips, snuggling further into his embrace. “You’re home.”
He presses a kiss to the top of your head, breathing you in, wishing he could bottle up the scent of your shampoo and lotions and perfumes, if only to have something to hold onto while he’s away, understanding now why he found you in this bed rather than your own
“I am.” He whispers into your hair, sensing that you’re already drifting back into dream land, safe in his arms and his bed, knowing he’ll be there when you wake. He feels his chest tighten when he knows that you weren’t talking about the fact that he’s physically home, in the flat, but something more, something much more, because he means the same thing when he tells you, “You’re my home too, love.”
#and they were roommates#wrote this quickly on my lunch break#hope it’s enough to tide you guys over until part six of wife at first sight#asks#call of duty fluff#call of duty fic#call of duty fanfic#call of duty ghost#call of duty#simon ghost x reader#ghost x you#cod simon ghost riley#simon ghost riley#simon riley#cod fanfic#ghost x reader#simon riley x reader#simon riley x you#simon ghost riley x reader#ghost fanfic#simon ghost riley x you#cod simon riley#simon fluff
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