#thing. and the only company that makes quality blank ones doesn’t make them anymore

[goblin-enjoyer]

Man I need to get a new mousepad soon.

[indulge-that-sin]

A Social Experience

Characters: GN!MC, Leviathan, Asmodeus, Mammon

Wordcount: 1700

Tags: Fluff, Domestic, Bonding Activities, Humor

(No spoilers for latter lessons, but takes place fairly late in the game.)

***

"--a gross, shut-in otaku like me!" Levi finished, on the all too familiar note.

Usually by this point you would already be launching into reassurances that he certainly wasn't gross, and shouldn't talk about himself like that, but this time there was nothing but a silence that bounced off the walls, damning and louder than any words.

You reached into your bag of chips, removed a single potato chip, and ate it as you tilted your head in thought. Levi took your silence like a slap in the face, and recoiled, his face already wavering. The sound of your chewing was distressingly loud in contrast.

You finished chewing and swallowed. "I mean, is that even true anymore?" you asked after a nerve-wracking length of time.

Levi's expression twisted more into confusion than hurt. "Huh?!" 

"Don't you kind of lose your hikikomori credentials if you become popular and people start coming to spend time with you all the time?"

"That's not-- I'm not-- You don't count!" Levi sputtered.

"Oh, I don't count, huh," you repeated, putting a hand to your chest and dramatically feigning heartbreak.

Levi looked abashed now. "Th-that's not what I meant," he rushed to add.

"I know what you meant," you said. "Give it an hour."

Now Levi tilted fully into confusion.

"Give what an hour?"

"My point to be made," you said, and placed your D.D.D. onto the lip of the bathtub, out of your own reach. It was also clearly visible to Levi as you both sat on beanbags in front of his TV, next to the bath tub. "An hour," you repeated in a portentous video game narrator voice.

Levi scowled and picked up his controller again, turning back to his game. But his reactions were off, now. His character moved jerkily around the screen, doubling back and taking wrong turns on the 8-bit map as Levi's mood roiled with the strangeness of the conversation.

You continued eating your chips slowly, savoring the taste of the limited edition novelty flavor that Levi had generously acquired for you. He'd tried to pass it as a coincidence, but he didn't really know anyone else who unironically enjoyed the taste of cream and devilradish chips.

Not even half an hour passed before there was a knock on the door. Levi asked for the password on reflex. Surprisingly, from the other side of the door came a sigh, and then Asmo's melodious voice reciting the string of nerd trivia that Levi had set as a password for him ever since they became unlikely allies for the Bloody Moon competition.

"Come in, I guess," Levi replied, giving you a long look. Your D.D.D. was still on the edge of the bathtub, untouched as you sat there elbow-deep in greasy chips. You couldn't have called anyone over. And yet, was this what you expected to happen?

"Give it forty more minutes now," you said low.

Asmo fluttered into the room, like a passing breeze bringing in the smell of perfume. 

"Oh, there you are, darling, I was wondering where you were," he said, face lit up as he saw you.

He sat uninvited next to you in the beanbag, and you scooted over to make space for him. Levi would have complained, except moving to make room for Asmo meant you shuffled closer to Levi instead, so he ended up biting his tongue.

"What do you want?" Levi grit out.

"Must I want something?" Asmo asked, "Is it not enough that I give my adorable brother the opportunity to entertain me?"

"He's bored," you translated.

"I'm soooo bored," Asmo whined, his shoulders rolling in a full-body sigh. But he perked up as he leaned forward to look at both you and Levi. "But what about all this? Mind if I join the fun~?"

"Let's find a game Asmo can play," you suggested. 

"If you'd like," Asmo acquiesced with a shrug, indicating he'd had some other kind of fun in mind.

Levi gave you another sidelong glance, full of suspicion, but his head was out of the game he was playing anyway, so he exited and pulled up his game library instead. Deciding which game to choose was the trickier part, because Asmo had terrible reflexes, and an attention span worse than Mammon's when it came to playing anything. This ruled out anything requiring twitch reflexes or understanding complicated rules. 

Asmo, meanwhile, scrunched his nose at your chips.

"All that grease and salt is going to be awful for your complexion, darling," he said, clearly disapproving.

"I'm not rubbing it on my face," you said, and defiantly sucked crumbs off your thumb. Levi nearly choked at the sound, which was borderline obscene. The little sound Asmo made in response did nothing to contradict this impression. Levi managed to swallow back the wave of envy before it came undammed by concentrating on the list of games on the screen. He still had to make a selection.

A farming sim seemed like a safe enough choice; something bright and frivolous. Just like Asmo.

Levi passed the controller as the title screen came up, and Asmo, to his credit, managed to choose the 'New Game' option without messing anything up. Yet. When the screen went dark as the game loaded, Asmo couldn't resist looking at his reflection and primping his hair a bit. Levi did resist snorting and rolling his eyes, but it was a close thing.

The character creation screen popped up with its myriad of options, and Asmo gasped in delight.

"Oh! This is a good start! Much better than getting shoved into some ugly gray metal suit at the beginning," Asmo remarked cheerfully. He cycled through the hair and clothing options with the speed and deftness of a veteran player. 

"Hey, beginner armor in RPGs can be colorful too," Levi protested.

"But not fashionable, apparently," Asmo sniffed.

Asmo had only just barely settled on a hairstyle and color combination he thought was adequately cute, and was scrunching his nose at the shirt options, when another knock came at the door.

"Come in," you called out, before Levi could demand a password.

Mammon's head popped through the door, and he pulled a face when he saw you there, just like he always did when you were in somebody else's company and not his.

"Eh? What're you doing here?" Mammon asked, closing the door behind him and sidling up to the three of you. 

He craned his neck and squinted at the screen, like he was verifying that whatever you were doing, it passed his requirements for propriety. Between knowing the kinds of games Levi had in his collection, and seeing Asmo there, maybe he was not completely unjustified in some suspicion, but it still made you want to roll your eyes.

"We're watching Asmo create his character," you explained.

Mammon guffawed. "Betcha been watching him do that for a while!"

"Fifteen minutes, more or less," you said. "But to be fair, Levi takes way longer to create characters."

"It's an important step!" Levi sputtered.

"Especially with the quality of the options," Asmo added. "Look at this. A purple T-shirt with a pink butt on it?"

"That's a peach!" Levi protested, his face turning red.

"I know what a butt looks like, Levi," Asmo replied tartly.

"Wait, wait, Asmo, that black one with the gold design ain't half bad! Go back an' pick that one." 

"That gaudy thing! Absolutely not!"

"Mammon, why are you even here?" Levi asked, now completely exasperated with his brothers.

"I was just seein' if we were still on for Devil Kart against those Purgatory Hall guys. We need ta win back our honor, ya know."

"Do we?" Levi asked suspiciously, "or are you running a betting pool again?"

Mammon made a good show of appearing indignant at the very suggestion, but he'd hit you up earlier today about whether you'd be willing to take a dive in the second half of Candy Mountain in exchange for a lump grimm sum, so you knew too much about the subject to defend Mammon without exposing him.

"Can't I be showin' an interest without ya gettin' all suspicious a' me? What makes me so weird, huh? Asmo here doesn't even play games, and I don't see ya hasslin' him!"

"I do too play games," Asmo protested.

"Really? 'Cause only thing I ever saw you play was that stupid matching thing with the gems, and I ain't seen much of even that lately."

You knew which game Mammon meant, because it was the only game app you'd ever seen on Asmo's phone. You'd watch him play in moments of boredom, swiping his screen with a completely blank look of concentration as he matched the colors of the gems in rows and columns, and they burst into sparkles. 

"Ugh, of course you haven't seen me play, I finished it. I have to wait until they add new levels."

"Didn't that game have like ten thousand levels already?" you asked. "You mean you passed all of them?"

"Eleven thousand and sixty five," Asmo corrected primly. "And yes, I did them all. I have to wait until they add more now. I asked."

The room fell into shocked silence at this. Even Levi looked mildly dyspeptic at the thought of completing eleven thousand levels of a match-3 game. You'd played it yourself for a while, and past the two hundredth level, the number of complicated mechanics the game introduced had completely broken you.

"Anyway," Mammon said after a few more beats of silence. He gestured to the screen, where Asmo was flicking between two shirt options. "This thing got co-op or somethin'?"

You finished your chips, and folded away the empty bag. When you picked up your D.D.D., fifty five minutes had passed.

"Still five minutes left," you muttered to Levi while Asmo and Mammon bickered over the choice of pants. "Wanna play the long odds and see if the twins show up too?"

"Okay, okay, you've made your point," Levi grumbled. "I let way too many people waltz in here. I'll have to tighten security."

But Levi's heart wasn't really in it, and when he turned to watch Mammon try to swipe Asmo's controller while the latter loudly protested, there was almost a smile threatening to spread over Levi's face.

[maxwell-grant]

Your Top Five Pulp Heroes that you wish were better known? By Pulp Hero fans, I mean. Since pretty much all of them except Conan and Tarzan are fairly unknown.

It’s actually quite hard for me to narrow it down to just five, because I’m having to choose between characters that are my favorites that I wish were more well-known and appreciated (which is all of them), and characters that aren’t quite my favorites but I very much think should have achieved great popularity for a myriad of reasons. So instead I’m going to pick some of each. These are not necessarily ranked by their importance or my personal taste, just 5 characters I felt like highlighting in particular. 

Honorable mentions goes to characters I already talked about prior and don’t want to repeat myself on. These aren’t “lesser” picks, just ones that I already talked about: Imaro (who in particular definitely feels like he could, and should be, a pop culture superstar if he was only more well-known), Kapitan Mors (who’s got a lot in common with one of my favorite fictional characters, Captain Nemo, but also has a lot of interesting things going on for him as his own character). Sar Dubnotal (a character that appeals a lot to me and I think should be included much more often in pulp hero team-ups). The Golden Amazon (again, definitely a character that feels like it’s just begging to have a pop culture breakout, even comic books rarely if ever have female supervillains this ruthless and over-the-top), The Mexican Fantomas (who absolutely deserves a better name than what I’m calling him here, because he’s incredibly awesome and leagues ahead of just being a knock-off). And of course my homeboy, The Grey Claw, whom I would consider Number One of the list if it wasn’t for the fact that his obscurity has left him untouched by copyright and I got plans of my own for the character that wouldn’t be possible if he was more well-known, so I guess I’m ultimately glad he’s obscure (even if I’m still bothered by how little he’s known). 

Allright let’s go:

Number 5: Sheridan Doome

Sheridan Doome appeared in fifty-four stories and three novels from 1935 to 1943. As chief detective for U.S. Naval Intelligence, Lieutenant Commander Sheridan Doome’s job was a grim one. Whenever an extraordinary mystery or crime occurred in the fleet, on a naval base, or anywhere the navy worked to protect American interests, Doome was immediately dispatched to investigate it. Fear and dread would always precede Doome’s arrival in his special black airplane. For, in an explosion during WWI, he had been monstrously disfigured. 

He was six feet two inches tall; had a chalk-white face and head. It appeared as though it had once been seared or burned. For eyes, he had only black blotches; glittering optics, that looked like small chunks of coal. His nose was long, the end of it squared off rudely. He had no lips, just a slit that was his mouth. His neck was long, as white and as bony as his face…. Sheridan Doome looked more like a robot than a human being. He was tall and ghastly; his uniform fitted him in a loose manner. Long arms hung at his sides; his face was a perfect blank.��He had no control of his facial muscles; consequently, his countenance was always without expression, chalky and bony.

But behind the ugliness was a brilliant mind. Sheridan Doome always got his man. Before Sheridan Doome became a staple in the pages of The Shadow magazine, two Doome hardcover mysteries were written in the mid-1930’s by acclaimed hard-boiled author Steve Fisher (I Wake Up Screaming) and edited by his wife Edythe Seims (Dime Detective, G-8 and His Battle Aces). Age of Aces now brings you both books in one huge double novel, presented in a retro “flip book” style. This book is currently Out of Print.

I sadly don’t have any more information on the character other than this. The book is unavailable for me to acquire in any capacity, and the text above is taken from the Age of Aces website as well as Jess Nevins’s personal profile for the character. I’m not even sure if any of those 54 stories even exist anymore, since although he was published as a backup in Shadow Magazine, there doesn’t seem to be reprints of them anywhere, at least as far as I can find, and the original Shadow magazines have largely turned to dust by now. 

A character who combines aspects of The Phantom of the Opera and The Shadow, whose adventures are set in a backdrop that can easily lead to ocean adventures? That’s like, what, three of my favorite things in the world combined. I really, really wish I could at least read the stories this character stars in, but as is, this description is all I can provide. Again, time really has been cruel to the pulp heroes. 

Number 4: Harlan Dyce

This is another character I’ve only been able to learn about through Jess Nevins’s archives and have not been able to attain any further information on, which is sadly the case with a lot of pulp heroes that nowadays only seem to exist as footnotes in his Encyclopedia or records in libraries. I don’t post more about these characters because I really would just be copying the stuff he wrote without much to justify me quoting him verbatim, and I hate the idea of doing that.

I especially hate that in Harlan Dyce’s case though. Here’s his description

“Dyce had brains, taste, money, ambition, and a total lack of physical or spiritual fear. But—

“Dyce was thirty-three inches tall and weighed sixty pounds.

“That was all the world could ever hold against him. That was what had made the world, most of it, in all the countries of the world, stare at Harlan Dyce, billed in the big show as “General Midge.””

Harlan Dyce is a misanthropic and venomous private detective. He has an “amazingly handsome face,” and the aforementioned brains. But all anyone sees is his stature, and he hates that and turns his cold eyes and acid tongue on them. 

The only person Dyce likes and gets along with (besides his dwarf wife, a former client) is his assistant, Nick Melchem, a six-foot tall former p.i.’s assistant with bleak eyes and a strong body. Melchem ignores Dyce’s stature and treats Dyce normally, which Dyce responds warmly to.

Dwarfs may be the single most maligned group of people depicted in pulp magazines, even more so than the Japanese in the war years or the Chinese during the peak of the Yellow Peril’s popularity. Evil dwarfs, murderous dwarfs, sexually depraved dwarfs, they are all loathsome, ugly cliches that are, sadly, the only instances you see of dwarf characters being represented at all, with the only ones who are awarded any measure of sympathy are doomed henchmen or tragic villains.  Even outside of the pulps, the only other examples of heroic, protagonist dwarfs I can think off the top of my head are Puck from Marvel Comics and Tyrion Lannister from Game of Thrones.

I’m not gonna say Harlan Dyce is great representation because I’m not a little person and can never make that kind of claim for a group I’m not a part of, but Harlan Dyce may be the first time I’ve ever seen a dwarf character in pulp fiction who was not a villain or a murderous goon or a victim, but an actual person and a heroic protagonist, and that definitely counts for something. I’m not sure how popular this character was or could be if someone picked up the concept and ran with it (and I’m pretty sure he’s public domain), but I definitely think this is a character that should exist and should be popular. 

Hell, this character has Peter Dinklage written all over it, give it to him. Maybe then he will get to play a smart, fearless, cynical, misanthropic but good-natured and heroic character in something where he actually gets to keep these traits until the show ends.

Number 3: Audaz, O Demolidor

Audaz is a Brazilian character who was created and published by Gazetinha, the same publishers of Grey Claw as well as properties exported from elsewhere like Superman and Popeye, and much like The Grey Claw, he is also completely unknown even here. I’ll get to Audaz more in-depth sometime but here I’m going to provide a quick summary: 

Audaz, The Demolisher is a gigantic crime-fighting robot controlled and piloted by the brilliant scientist Dr. Blum, his close friend Gregor and the child prodigy Jacques Ennes, who pilot the giant robot from a massive laboratory inside it's head rather than a cockpit. He takes on a variety of ordinary human criminals, mad scientists, supervillains and invading armies, towering over skyscrapers and grappling with jets.

Audaz was created in 1939 by illustrator Messias de Melo, a year before Quality Comics's Bozo the Iron Man and 5 years before Ryuichi Yokoyama's Kagaku Senshi, and decades before the debut of Mazinger Z. Although he is not the first giant robot of science fiction, he is the first heroic giant robot piloted by human pilots, and thus the first true example of "mecha" fiction.

Number 2: Emilia the Ragdoll

This is another Brazilian character, although nowhere near as obscure as Audaz as even a cursory Google search can show. Although Brazil did not have a “pulp era” in the same way the US had, we’ve long gotten past the point of sticking to it as a definitive rule, and I’m including Emilia as a pulp hero because she’s a 1920s fantasy literature character who was created under a publishing company that released pulp stories, because she doesn’t quite belong in the mold of fantasy literature characters she takes after, and because I like her and if I was putting a bunch of pulp heroes together in the same story, I would definitely include Emilia in it. It’s not like she really has anywhere else to go, now that she’s public domain and she’s outlasted her franchise.

As you can tell by the above image, Emilia’s had a lot of variations over the years and that’s because the work she was created for, Sítio do Picapau Amarelo (Yellow Woodpecker Ranch/Farm), has become a major bedrock of Brazilian fantasy literature, one of the only works created here that you can find substantial information about in English if you go looking for it. Here’s some descriptions of Emilia’s character:

Emília is a rag doll described as "clumsy" or "ugly", resembling a "witch" that was handmade by Aunt Nastácia, the ranch's cook, for the little girl Lúcia, out of an old skirt. After Lucia takes her on an adventure and the doll is given a dose of magic pills, Emília suddenly started talking, and would never stop henceforth.

Emilia has a rough, antagonistic personality, and an independent, free-spirited and anarchist behaviour. She is rogue, rebellious, stubborn, rough and intensely determined at anything she sets her mind on, eager to take off on just about any adventure. She is often immature and behaves like a curious and arrogant child, always wanting to be the center of attention.

She is extremely opinionated even when she constantly and confidently mispronounces words and expressions. Her attitude often gets her into trouble, and she very often has to fight against the villains who attack her home on the Yellow Woodpecker Farm and mistreat her friends.

In the stories, Emilia often takes the role of a heroine who travels through different realms and dimensions, as the books include not only figures from Brazilian and worldwide folklore, but also several characters both real and fictional, such as Hercules, King Arthur, Don Quixote, Thumbelina, Da Vinci, Shirley Temple, Captain Hook, Santos Dumont and Baron von Munchausen.

She's fought scorpions and martians and nymph hordes, her arch-enemy is an alligator witch, she rescued an angel from the Milky Way and tried to teach it how to become a human, and once shrunk the entire population of Earth to try and talk the president of the United States into ending war forever.

To little surprise, she has become the most popular character and the series’s mascot.

It’s a little strange to consider Emilia underrated considering she is one of the most famous original characters of Brazilian literature, but hardly anyone outside of Brazil even knows who she is, and regardless of the quality of the original stories (and Monteiro Lobato’s views on race that tar much of his reputation), Emilia definitely feels to me like a character that should be a lot more popular globally. 

She is the only character from Yellow Woodpecker Ranch that has transcended the original stories, since she was always the most popular character and there’s been a couple of stories written about her that usually separate her from the ranch and just set her out on the world by herself. The latest story about this character has been a series called The Return of Emilia, that’s about her stepping out of the books in 2050 and discovering a Brazil that’s been ruined by social and ecological devastation, and traveling back in time via a flying scooter in order to try and prevent this calamity. 

Now that she’s public domain, I definitely think there’s some great stories that can be told with the character that just about anyone could get to, and I definitely think she’s a character that deserves more appreciation. Anything goes in stories starring her and it’s that kind of free-for-all freedom that I think can benefit future takes on pulp heroes. I would be very happy to place Emilia among them.

Oh yeah, and there was one time she kicked Popeye's ass by tricking him with a can of mouldy cabbage instead of spinach, making him sick and then beating him, which possibly puts her as one of the all-time badasses of fiction, except she would be pissed at not being number one and likely embark on a quest to beat everyone else just to prove she could, because that’s how Emilia rolls.

Number 1: Luna Bartendale, from The Undying Monster (1922)

Not necessarily my favorite of the bunch, but one who sort of epitomizes what you asked, a character who is both incredibly obscure and incredibly underrated in every sense. Despite the book being somewhat known, mainly thanks to the movie, the character is so obscure that I don’t even have an illustration of her to display here, not even fan art, just one of the book’s covers that I think best conveys it. Luckily, the book is also available freely online, so you can all go check it out here. The movie adaptation does not feature the character of Luna Bartendale which makes it pointless to talk about.

To not spoil it too much, The Undying Monster is a very fascinating book, ahead of it’s time in quite a few ways. You expect it to just be a detective story centered around a werewolf cursed, except the subtitle of the book is “The Fifth Dimension” and then it goes to talk about dimensions of thought and post-WWI trauma and love and hypnotic regression that travels through time and ancient runes and Norse mythology. It’s not exactly an easy book to get through in one setting, but I’d recommend it much the same if only because it’s got supersensitive psychic sleuth Luna Bartendale, literature’s first female occult detective, and she’s an incredible character who absolutely feels like she should have become a literary icon. 

She lives in London but is world-renowned for her many good deeds. She is a small, pretty woman, with curly blonde hair, dark eyebrows and a high-bridged nose, and a slight build. She has a voice described as a light soprano that "does not make much noise but carries a long way". 

Petite, bedimpled and golden curled, Luna is completely in charge of events, dominating every scene that she appears in with her welcoming disposition and cleverness. 

Bartendale has various psychic powers, including mind reading. She is well-versed in psychic and occult lore, is a “supersensitive” psychic, and has a “Sixth Sense” which allows her to trace things and people through both the Fourth and the Fifth Dimension. (The Fifth Dimension is “the Dimension that surrounds and pervades the Fourth–known as the Supernatural”).

Her extensive knowledge of occult rites and practices puts John Silence, Carnacki and Miles Pennoyer to shame, and she beats them all with her "super-sensitive" gift of being able to psychically connect with troubled souls and hypnotize them.

She uses a divining rod for various tasks, including psychic detection and tracking, and distinguishing between benevolent and malevolent forces. She has various (undefined) powerful psychic defenses, can carry on seances, and can even cure a person of “wehrwolfism.” And she can always rely on her massive, intelligent dog Roska for help.

Luna sadly doesn’t show up in the book as often as I’d hoped, but everything about this character is so delightful. In a lot od ways she hardly feels like a pulp hero, at least the ones I usually talk about. She feels like a lost protagonist from an incredibly successful kid’s adventure series where a kind and eccentric detective witch and her giant dog go around solving occult mysteries and encountering all sorts of weird supernatural beings while counseling and helping people, like Ms Frizzle meets Hilda. Like this character is just waiting for Cartoon Saloon to make a film about her.

Its not so much “this character should/could be popular but it’s clear why that didn’t pan out”, it’s more me being confused as “why the hell isn’t she super popular? This character should have had a franchise ages ago, holy shit put her in everything””

[lofitojii]

PART [I] Guardian Angel

*★*――――*★**★*――――*★**★*――――*★*

Summary: You are a new sidekick to the number two hero of Tokyo, Hawks. You team up with another sidekick, Bakugou, in an ongoing investigation on a serial killer. Unexpected interactions happen that flip the whole case around causing new, confusing feelings which alter your relationships in ways you never saw coming. 

Word Count: 4.6k

Warning: Minor Swearing 

A/N: It’s HERE!!! The new series I’ve been working on for the last month is finally planned out and I’m super excited about it! Please let me know what you think, there will be posts made for discussions before the new part is released. 

NOTE: This is not following the current story at all. The League of Villains do not play any part in this at all, only Dabi. 

Guardian Angel Master List

*★*――――*★**★*――――*★**★*――――*★*

The fall air was crisp, every inhaled breath chilling your body from the inside out. The leaves looked as if they were on fire, the deep crimson, the burnt orange, lighting up the grey world they resided in. This was your favorite time of year, when you could visibly see the seasons change. Despite the fact the darkest part of the year was right around the corner, you were looking forward to all of it. This year was going to be different, you could feel it ridden within you.

It was your first day at your new job, completely unaware and new to the area. You had moved in the weekend prior, receiving the job through a simple phone call interview. You had no idea who or what your new boss looked like. All you knew is that you were hand picked from a group of qualifying sidekicks to the number 2 hero, Hawks. Apparently he is a very busy man, and the only thing you knew about him was that his quirk was similar to yours. Except he can’t put his wings away. 

How can you not know who the number 2 hero is? Well, coming from a rather small town where you worked 7 days a week kind of took up most of your free time, and when you did get a moment to yourself, you were either reading or spending time with the locals. You didn’t care much for TV or the news or social media. You enjoyed quality time and company, something most people didn’t really understand. 

Your quirk was known as the ‘Angel Quirk’ meaning you had white wings that grew in size under your control, whenever you pleased. You also had a healing factor to your quirk, using your feathers as a type of medicine as well. You were a Pro Hero’s sidekick back in your home town but received an email one morning that read: 

Dear Y/N,

After doing intense research and speaking to your most recent employer and university teachers, you have been chosen to accompany Japan’s number 2 hero, Hawks, as his personal sidekick with the goal of becoming one of Japan’s very own perosnal Pro Heroes. According to your employer, he has said he feels you have greater potential that you can’t utilize in your small town. Please give us a call or email us back. Thank you!

-Hawks Agency

You had no idea your previous employer had reached out until you received that letter. You didn’t mind doing small hero work here and there in your small town but when your boss stressed to you that you could be and do more, you decided to reach out. You didn’t know what you were expecting but you had received the job within the first 10 minutes of your interviewl. 

So that’s where you are now, downtown Tokyo, trying your best to understand how the train systems worked. Yeah, you could’ve just flown there but you didn’t want to make a scene before debuting with your new boss. It was just something you had decided, thinking that maybe an article would be released about a new hero coming to town rather than being seen with Hawks himself first. You didn’t want to come off as rude or arrogant, even though you knew you were probably overthinking the situation. 

You just wanted to make a good impression, regardless of what your old boss had said about you. They already have this idea of you, and you wanted to live up to that idea. Your boss did speak highly of you, you didn’t want to let anyone down, mainly yourself. 

“Damn, this city is huge,” you cursed out loud, looking up from the city map you had picked up at the subway stop before you hopped on. “So if that’s the coffee shop, then I still have about a good mile or two before I get to the agency building. Maybe I should use my wings to get the- OOF!” you were hit in the back, causing you to choke on your words and stumble over onto the cement. 

“Sorry!” You looked up to see a man, his red wings casting a long shadow over you. “Didn’t see ya there! Sometimes I’m too fast for my own damn good.” He reached his hand out, letting you tightly grip it as he helped you up. 

“You’re good, I was the one standing there like a mindless idiot,” you joked, reaching down to pick up the things you had dropped due to your collision. When you stood up, you noticed that he was already gone. Wow, so much for being polite. He said sorry but what does that mean when he just flies off without saying anything else? Whatever, you had to get to work so you just decided to brush it off. 

You expanded your white wings, trying your best to fly higher than the city clouds in order to keep people from seeing you. You thought to yourself that maybe this was the best route to work, clear yet cold skys. Not to mention you would cut your full trip in half. You landed in front of the office building, retracting your wings back to its original, small size before entering the building. You approached the girl that was sitting behind a desk, tapping away at her keyboard. You cleared your throat before interrupting. “Hi, I’m the new sidekick Y/N. Just wondering where I need to go?” You asked the front receptionist you guided you towards the elevators. 

“It’s the top floor,” she smiled. “Good luck, Miss Y/N.” You let out a sigh of relief as you stood in the elevator alone. Your day had just barely started and yet you could feel yourself already growing tired of everything. Your temper was rather short today, that man setting something off in you when he left without saying anything. Thank god you didn’t have to worry about him anymore. Tokyo was a rather large city, what are the chances of running into him a second time? You tried your best to shake off the incident that took place this morning, not wanting it to ruin your full day ahead of you. 

You walked up to the giant wooden doors, knocking twice before opening them. You were greeted with a huge open window, a single desk sitting in the middle of the room with a beautiful view behind it. There were bookshelves lined with literature you had read or had planned to read. “Similar tastes,” you whispered as you traced along the backbone of the books. The room was empty, leaving you alone to examine the things you found interesting to you. 

“You like what you see?” Wait a second… That voice... “You must be the new sidekick. How’s it going? I’m Hawks.” You turned around and were faced with the man that had knocked you over earlier. For some reason, dread took over, your actions visible to the man standing in front of you. “Why the long face?” 

“You’re kidding me, right?” you scoffed, the man giving you a blank look. “You literally knocked me off my feet earlier? I dropped everything?” He was still giving you that stupid blank look. “You’re joking…” 

“OH! I remember now. Yeah sorry about that,” he scratched the back of his head nervously. “I was in a hurry.” Wow...

“Obviously.” You rolled your eyes at his comment, unimpressed with the lack of remorse that came through his tone. You felt as if this relationship would be decided here, right now, just based on the way you were feeling as he stood there, a stupid grin plastard on his face. You let out a deep sigh, trying to regulate your breathing so you wouldn’t lash out on your new boss who was standing inches away from you. “I guess I’ll introduce myself since we’ll be working together. My name is Y/N L/N, I’m from a small town about 4 hours out of Tokyo. My quirk is known as the ‘Angel Quirk’ meaning I can do anything you can but better.” 

“Woah, woah,” he stopped you, waving his hands in the air. “That’s a pretty bold statement, newby. What do you mean ‘better’?” 

“I mean I can hide my wings if I want to, and also can expand them when I choose. They regenerate within the hour, I can use them to heal both internal and external wounds depending on how severe the injury is. I can also use them as weapons, hardening them as I please.” 

“Okay but can you use them to listen to things? Do you have the ability to use them as an extension of you? As in, can you use them to listen or to track?” He was grilling you with questions, almost as if you struck a nerve with him. It was quite amusing to see him all flustered like this.

“I can use them to track things within a certain radius, the further away from the feather, the harder it is for me to make things out.” He furrowed his brows, crossing his arms over his chest with a huff. 

“Okay yeah, your quirk is better in some parts but that doesn’t make you better than me.” 

“I never said I was better than you, I only said my quirk was better. You’re the number 2 hero for a reason, I have no doubt in your skill at all.” He really got his feelings hurt that bad by your comment? Talk about a fragile ego. 

He let out a sigh, sounding a little grumpy in his words as he went through the paperwork with you. “Oh and take this,” He handed you a bag, his cheeks flushed red. “I don’t know what it looks like but the design team came up with it since we do have similar quirks.” 

“A new costume?” You raised an eyebrow, looking at the fabric with the paper bag. It was a body suit, like an actual teddy style body suit, a pair of sheer tights, and some knee high boots. There was also a pair of yellow goggles, matching the ones Hawks were wearing. “What if people think we’re dating?” You didn’t really think about it much until Hawks gave you your new costume that was almost identical in color to his. It was balck and gold, just like his shirt, the cropped jacket being a deeper shade of brown, just like his jacket. 

“And? So what if they do? I wouldn’t mind faking it,” he smirked, winking directly at you. He began to laugh as you reached your hand to hide your crimson cheeks. They were warm, you knew his comment made you blush, and so did he.

“Shut the hell up,” you responded, biting your lip. “I’m going to request a new jacket at least. I’m sorry but this color is hideous with the black.” 

“You really think so?” he asked, looking at his own jacket. “Well in that case, I’ll ask for them to give us black ones.” 

“White,” you stopped him. “I want a white one.” 

“White it is, m’lady,” he bowed, getting up from his seat. He leaned over his desk, transitioning from his bowed state, coming face to face with you. He was so close you could smell the lingering fragrance of mint coming from his breath. “I’m excited to work with you.” You quickly got up, bowing in response all in one quick motion, knocking your head with his. It was loud, painful, and embarrassing all within the 30 seconds that it took place. “Ow ow ow ow ow,” he rubbed his forehead, exposing the red bump that was getting ready to form. 

You were quick to pluck two white feathers from the right side of your back, leaning over the desk and pressing it to his forehead. “Hold still,” you struggled to get out as Hawks winced in pain. You let out a deep breath, focusing on the feather in your hand. It was quick to dissolve, leaving Hawks in awe with what had just happened. He sat back down, watching you apply the same treatment to yourself. 

“Wow,” he breathed, still in shock from what just took place. “Your quirk really is cool.” 

“The only downside to my healing is that it’s only possible with the right side of my wings. The left side doesn’t have the same ability,” you admitted while sitting back down, your wings returning to their smaller size so you were able to sit more comfortably. Hawks just sat there, gobsmacked with the events that just occurred. “To be honest, we gotta get this whole bumping into each other thing under control.” 

“You’re telling me,” he whispered, leaning back in his own seat. He finally snapped back into reality after being lost within himself. “Go change into your new costume and I’ll put the order in for the white coat. You’re going on patrol today with one of my other sidekicks. He’s newer to the team so it will be good for you two to get comfortable with each other. I will warn you though, he’s a bit of a hot head. Short temper, super egotistical. Great guy though, you’ll love him.” 

“He sounds wonderful,” you noted sarcastically. You were soon interrupted by the sound of the door opening, being greeted with a blonde haired man with quite the aggressive scowl. 

“What the hell did you say, you damn bird?” You turned your head, taking notice to his rather large grenade equipment covering his forearms. Those have to be super heavy, the look like they weigh more than the man himself. 

“There you are! Bakugou, I’d like you to meet your new partner, Y/N! You guys are going to be working together from here on out. You’re still my sidekicks, so we’re still a team here but when it comes to the more lowkey stuff, like investigations and patrolling, you guys will be working together.” Did he really just say ‘lowkey’? How old is this guy? He’s got to be older than you, having started his own agency, right? 

“Yeah, whatever,” Bakugou growled. Hawks wasn’t kidding when he said this guy was a hot head, the vibe he was giving off really intimidated you. But then again, you weren’t one to take shit, not even from some punk coworker with a short temper. “I’m leaving in 10. Better hurry you noob.” 

“Noob?” You questioned, grabbing your things and following Bakugou out the room. You stopped before you reached the door, turning around and bowing towards Hawks. “Thank you!” 

“Good luck, kid!” He waved back, his smile sweet and reassuring. You had experienced something rather unpleasant that morning with Hawks, only to find out he was your new boss. He seemed to be quite the air head, or at least spacey in some aspect. He was interesting to you, and for some reason you wanted to know more about him. The fact he had asked for you specifically out of all the other applicants was even more interesting to you. Did he choose you for another reason? Was it because you had a similar quirk to his? As time goes on, you can only hope that you’ll uncover these hidden secrets you were so focused on. He didn’t need to tell you he was hiding anything, you could just feel something in his aura. 

You followed Bakugou who led you to the women's locker room, telling you he would wait outside the door for you to be finished. He actually told you to ‘hurry the fuck up’ but you just rolled your eyes at his demand. You thought to yourself that if anyone else would have been paired up with this guy, you were sure they would resign due to his attitude. You weren’t one to give up, though. You were here for a reason, having a set goal that wasn’t about to be ruined due to some smart asses comments. Not to mention, the children in the foster home you grew up in were mean as hell. 

When you put on the outfit, you were flustered by how revealing it was. You did mention that you needed flexibility in your costume but you didn’t think it was going to be some kind of lingerie set. Hopefully the coat you requested is available soon, thinking that maybe it would help cover up some of the more revealing parts. 

You exited the locker room, only things on you being your Hero License and your outfit. Bakugou handed you an ear piece, letting you know it’s used for the both of you, two other side kicks and Hawks himself. “So what exactly are we doing today?” You asked, exiting the building with Bakugou by your side. 

“We’ve been asked to investigate the west side of town. Rumor has it that some dick head guy has been spotted frequently in the area who has been linked to a chain of murdered victims. All the bodies have similar burn marks, as if it’s this guys sick way of marking his work. Our job is to try and see if we can narrow down his exact location.” You had read over the file prior to moving to the city, being asked by the agency so that way you weren’t too behind on what was going on. 

Description: Black hair, scars covering majority of his body, black coat, black shoes, distressed jeans. Last known location: West Tokyo. Number of bodies linked to crime: 12. 

“Well then,” you started, letting your wings grow to their full capability. You reached your hand out towards Bakugou, signaling for him to grab on. 

“What the hell? What are you doing? I don’t need your fucking help.” 

“I get that but if you let me carry you, we could cut our trip time in half and with it being fall, almost winter, it’s going to get dark soon. I have no doubt that you can get there by yourself but if we want to play it smart and more efficient,” you sang, reaching your hand out again for him to take, letting your actions finish your statment. He wasn’t happy about the idea but he knew you were right, making it obvious by his aggressive huff. 

You wrapped Bakugou up in your arms, taking off the second you knew you had a secure grip on him. With flying to the west side of town, it really did cut the travel time in half, leaving you an extra hour or so to investigate, much longer than what the estimated time stated. “Land there!” Bakugou yelled, pointing at the roof of a mini mart that was placed in between two rather tall buildings. You released your grip on him, his immediate reaction being annoyed and bothered by the ‘wind’ and you ‘flying too damn fast’. You just ignored his remarks, letting him take the lead on the investigation so he would stop complaining. 

“How long have you worked for Hawks?” You asked, taking a seat next to Bakugou. He lowered his glasses that matched both yours and Hawks’, using them to enhance his sight towards the ground below. 

“Why do you care?” He growled, avoiding any sort of eye contact with you. 

“Well I don’t but if we’re going to be working together, I think it’s important that we have a bearable relationship, don’t you agree?” 

“No I don’t. I don’t care who you are or where you come from. We’re co workers, that’s it.” You didn’t expect Bakugou’s words to hurt as much as they did. You barely met the guy and he’s already made his decision on how the relationship was going to be. A part of you wanted to just let it go, to just accept the fact that he didn’t care for personal relationships, but the other part, the part of you that always got you into trouble, wanted to know and be more with him. 

“Well I care,” you finally blurted out, causing Bakugou to finally look over at you. “I’m not saying that we have to be friends but if we want to be a strong team, we have to get to know each other on a more personal level. I can see you’re very strong and I also know that we could be really good together. So ignore me all you want but I’m not going to stop asking.” He looked puzzled, as if no one had ever bothered to speak to him like this. It was as if he was thrown into foreign territory and had to figure out how to navigate to the sudden outburst. 

“3 months,” he answered, immitadly turning away from you. You couldn’t help but smile at the small achievement you had accomplished. It wasn’t something drastic or something to celebrate, but you took it as a win regardless.  

After sitting on the roof for a good half hour, you had decided to take street view, letting Bakugou keep the high ground. You were told that the suspect wore a black coat, had dark features, but the main identifier being his scars. He wore the black coat to hide his arms and body and wore a face mask to hide the scars that are suspected to be on his face. 

After mindlessly walking for what felt like forever, Bakugou finally came through the ear piece. “Angel, there’s a man fitting our description on the other side of the street, walking towards your direction.” You were quick to react, trying to spot any signs of a man in a dark coat. You thought you were going to lose him in the crowd, having to make your way through groups of people walking in your opposite direction. 

“Bakugou, I don’t-” You were suddenly cut off, being pushed back by the force of colliding with another person. You lost your balance, falling straight onto the concrete sidewalk below you. “Ouch…” You winced in pain, the collision of your bum hitting the hard concrete rattling you a bit. You looked up to see what it was that you had bumped into, Bakugou screaming in your ear before you could put the pieces together. 

“THAT’S HIM!” You made eye contact, complete shock written across your facial features as you stared directly at the man you had been looking for. 

“Here,” he reached his hand out, offering to help you up from your fall. “Sorry about that. It’s easy to get caught up in these crowds.” You were hesitant to take his hand but did it anyways, knowing that you had to diminish any sort of suspicion. His hand was rough to the touch, as if it was scared more so than dry skin. You noticed his stitches that held his scars together, slightly grazing over them as you released. “Oh uhh.. I got these cause my quirk is too strong for me to really handle.” The man seemed to be around your age, his whole appearance matching the description you were given. 

What do I do? 

“Oh I wasn’t meaning to stare,” you hesitantly assured him, trying to awkwardly laugh off the situation. 

“I haven’t seen you around here before,” he finally changed the subject, the new topic being just as stressful as the last. 

“Oh yeah I’m new to town! Just doing an internship so I’m still kind of new to all of this. I’m just out patrolling the area, making sure nothing bad happens. Ya know, the normal hero stuff.” You awkwardly scratched the back of your head, avoiding eye contact as best as you could. In all honesty, you wanted to cut this conversation short and let Bakugou track him to wherever he was planning on going, but your mind had gone blank. You were unable to think of an out so instead, you had to let the conversation carry on until you found an opening. 

“Well I bet people will feel better having such a pretty hero like you around to keep them safe.” Woah woah woah… Did he really just call you pretty? And are you actually blushing right now at his comment?? Get it together Y/N! 

“Eh- haha. I mean I’m just doing my job, just like any other hero.” Please leave. Please go away. Please give me an opening to get out of here.

“I guess I’ll be seeing a lot more of you then?” His smile was everything but welcoming. You could see that this man wasn’t someone who found heroes pleasant to begin with. The uneasy feeling you had when you made eye contact the first time started to grow, causing you to internally panic. “Cute wings. Reminds me of another Pro Hero I see flying around here sometimes.”

“Uh… Who?” You asked, trying your best to play dumb. He furrowed his brows, your response coming off more suspicious than before. “I’m sorry. Like I said, I’m new here and I don’t even know who I work for. I was just sent here as soon as I got there so I haven’t really met anyone.” 

“Huh. Well I’m sure you’ll meet him soon. Especially if you have wings like that,” he said, pointing to your enlarged wings. “He’s a pretty big fan of people who have similar quirks to his.” 

“I’ll definitely have to keep an eye out then. Sounds like we’d get along.” 

“The names Dabi, by the way. And you are?” Did he really just tell you his name? Was the whole ‘play dumb’ act really working? Could this be some kind of message that he wants to send to Hawks since he was the one who mentioned him? 

“You can call me Angel,” you responded, knowing it was better to offer your hero name rather than your real one. You chose the hero name ‘Angel’ because it could be taken as either a hero name or even a birth given name. 

“Angel,” he repeated, barely above a whisper. “Fitting.” You didn’t respond this time, wanting to let the conversation end there which Dabi caught onto. “Well I’ll let you get back to work Angel. I hope I see you again.” And with that, he was gone, disappearing from your view into the crowd of people.

You were quick to make your way around the block so that way you could communicate with Bakugou without having to worry about Dabi overhearing anything if he had happened to still be in ear shot distance. “Angel what happened!? Did you get anything?” 

“I’ll come find you! Just keep tracking him! I’m on my way!” you told Bakugou before lifting off above the city. You were quick to spot Bakugou who was jumping from rooftop to rooftop, keeping a steady pace and decent distance between him and the suspect. Once Bakugou stopped, you took that as a sign to land on the closest building and follow Bakugou’s actions so that way you could keep a low profile since the suspect now knew who you were. You mentally kicked yourself in the butt, knowing that you should’ve just left after he helped you up. 

“What did he say?” Bakugou barked, his vision focused on the cluster of buildings in front of him. 

“Well I got his name.” 

“And?” He looked over at you, his expression completely unreadable. Were you going to get in trouble for making contact? And on the first day too? 

“Dabi.” Bakugou’s face went white, his expression telling you that maybe they knew more about the suspect than they were telling you. “Bakugou, who’s Dabi?” 

“I pinpointed the location. Let’s get back to the agency and report to Hawks what we found.” 

“I’m not taking us anywhere until you tell me who this Dabi guy is!” 

“Suit yourself you dumb bird.” He was quick to blast off, making his way back in the direction of the agency. You were in shock by his sudden outburst, creating quite the distance between you two. What is going on? You were so confused, only being left more in the dark as Bakugou ignored your multiple questions. 

Snap out of it Y/N! Follow him! 

“What- Bakugou!!”

[being-worthy]

Saturday Home Cinema: Mulan (2020) - A very honest review!

I just had to write this review because Mulan is one of my heroes and I’m a huge fan of the original Disney Mulan (1998). I saw the movie for the first time as a kid when I had trouble feeling integrated and was daily bullied at school. I re-watched it again and again and again until I was able to learn by heart the script and all the songs in German (and later on, even in English). I just saw so much of myself in Mulan (maybe except for the fact that I’m not as beautiful or witty as she is). I too always felt out of place and I couldn’t be my true self and I was never very ladylike either. I also looked up at her and saw her as a role model. Sometimes I thought that if I stared long enough at my reflection in the mirror, it’d show me my true self - and I’m still waiting to this day… Disney’s 1998 version of Mulan was and still is my favourite Disney movie.

> SPOILER ALERT AHEAD!! <

The best thing about this movie is the soundtrack, especially at the end. Christina Aguilera was the right choice to sing Reflection and Loyal Brave True. The goosebumps her voice gives, I can’t even describe how extraordinary her voice is. In the end credits, you can listen to the English version of Reflection as well as the Chinese version (sadly sung by Liu Yifei  ¬¬). It’s worth to watch the end credits and listen to the songs.

*My suggestion: Stop whatever you’re doing. Put on some headphones (even better if they’re noise-cancelling), close your eyes, play the song Reflection song (and Loyal Brave True if you feel like it) by Christina Aguilera, no distractions no interruptions, forget about everything and everyone, let the song flow through your ears, mind, heart, body, and soul, and you will feel like you’re Mulan, especially when the drumming gets louder, it’s epically epic! (Sorry for the redundancy but it IS a remarkable song!)

I welcome the idea of wanting to take a classic and do something new, something fresh with it but humanity could’ve gone without this movie and they shouldn’t ask for $35 to watch it on Disney+ and sometimes a classical doesn’t need to be redone. Additionally, I can’t entirely understand what’s going on these past years not only with Disney but Hollywood and all other big movie production companies. It’s either remake of this classic or a 2nd/3rd sequel of a movie that doesn’t actually require a sequel but it’s still done anyway. Why even bother wasting big amounts of money to create a disaster? You’re better of donating that money to charity (or to me lol). The main thing that Disney has been doing lately are remakes of many of our childhood movies Aladdin, Beauty and the Beast, Dumbo, The Jungle Book, The Lion King, among others, and now Mulan. Some have a few good parts in them but they still can’t and never will compare to the original. Why is there no originality and innovation anymore? Have they run out of ideas? Furthermore, let’s be honest people will always compare the remake (either consciously or unconsciously) with the original because there are less than a dozen movies where the remake either was (almost) as good as the original much less better than the original. The movie Mulan (2020) had a massive budget and is the most expensive film made by a female director (Niki Caro), yet how they made it, the battle sequences and CGI effects, etc. they’re all crappy.

Budgets of all Mulan interpretations:

Mulan (1998) - $90 million > Directed by Tony Bancroft and Barry Cook. Made $304.3 million in the box office

Hua Mulan (2009) - $12 million > Directed by Jingle Ma. Sadly, made only $1.8 million in the box office. It deserved more love!

Mulan (2020) - $200 million(!!) > All that budget was a waste!

I’ve seen all three versions. The 1998 version is for everybody and it’s funny and you feel with the characters and the film. Let’s be honest, the granny is one of the best characters, most of us have or had a granny like that in our lives. The 2nd one is a 2-hour long movie, a more mature adaption which illustrates the ugly harsh truth about war and the loss and death it brings with it and that there’s nothing funny or cool about it. This one is not suitable for children. You feel with the characters and their sacrifices and they also develop along the movie. I can only recommend to watch this version if you haven’t. And the latest one is a disgrace.

I’m a bit confused as to what the message of the movie is. On one hand, it tells you shouldn’t hide your inner beauty, you shouldn’t hide who you are, you shouldn’t hide your abilities, you shouldn’t try to hide who you truly are in order to conform to what the world/society wants you to be or who you should be, let your true self shine and be yourself and don’t allow anyone to tell you that you’re inferior just because they think/say you are. This is something powerful and admirable but, on the other hand, at the same time, it tells you that you can only do that if you are the chosen one. Let me explain... In the beginning, we see Mulan as a little girl chasing a chicken up to the roofs of the houses at the village where she lives. Basically, she’s born as a one-woman army (almost deus ex machina) and doesn’t require any further training which is total and utter rubbish. She has all the skills because of her powerful chi (vital life force energy) but has to underplay them because it’s not very ladylike to behave like she wants to and she still underplays them when she trains with the soldiers so as to keep a low profile. Her being so powerful from the beginning makes me feel alienated from her and I can’t empathise with her. It’s also not very realistic, nobody is born with their abilities fully developed. For example, even Bruce Lee had to train hard to get where he got and he wasn’t the only one.

The original version shows us a regular girl, at times clumsy (which is a cliché but we still liked it) and when she’s confronted with new situations, she analyses them and finds a quick canny solution to them. She also has to train her body and mind to get to the peak of her potential and accomplish what nobody else could in her time, and here the character is done from the start of the movie and the only thing she has to do is choose not to hide her chi anymore. This tells us that you don’t have to work hard to achieve your dreams whereas in reality you actually do have to work your butt off!

I’m not a fan of the leading actress they chose for Mulan, aka Liu Yifei, not only because she’s a police brutality supporter according to her controversial tweets a while back - this already makes her unworthy to portray Mulan who is the complete opposite - but also because she didn’t do a good job at depicting this great role. Mulan is a role model for every girl and woman and it’s a massive contradiction if a woman who agrees to the atrocious police methods impersonates her role. What message do we send out to every girl out in the world? In her acting she’s this blank and hollow person through the movie and transmits no emotion whatsoever - not even when she cries. This also makes it difficult for me to identify myself with her. She’s this wooden plank, she is and stays a blank canvas through the whole movie with no growth in her character and it’s frustrating having to see this because the character of Mulan isn’t at all like this. Mulan experiences many emotions from the moment where she makes the decision to enlist so her father doesn’t have to or when she experiences the loss of her comrades or has to kill someone for the first time, etc. she suffers along her journey and all this changes her but you see nothing of it in Liu Yifei’s Mulan.

In the Disney version, there are some crucial moments that are missing in the new one. For instance, the most crucial one is the moment where Mulan decides to go to war. If you remember the animation one, she’s sitting in the rain by the dragon statue and at that moment makes a decision that could kill her or worse bring dishonour to herself and her entire family (including ancestors) which was far worse than death during that time! She gets up, marches to the altar of her ancestors, takes her father’s sword and cuts her hair (I know men had long hair back then too but still), puts on the armour and goes to war. All this while being accompanied by an epic song written by Jerry Goldsmith called Haircut. This is one of the most intense and dramatic moments in the movie and in all Disney movies! You can understand and feel the importance of this decision for the character and you feel the weight of it! In the 2020 one, she takes the sword and the next shot presents her already with the armour on - there’s zero dramatic impact here. That was a great missed opportunity!! By omitting important scenes and their dramatic impacts like this one that are essential to the story and to the characters, to their development and their journey throughout the story and you really need to rely on the original from 1998 to have this context.

The battle scenes are like many modern movies: lots of action, lots of moving (too fast-moving), a few amazing fighting moves and fights but not showed entirely. I at least expected some similar quality, like we’ve seen in films such as Hero (2002), House of Flying Daggers (2004), and Tiger & Dragon (2020) to name a few. Sadly, these movies had better fight scenes quality than Mulan which were filmed in high frame rate but over-edited with action that is negatively frenetic and have artificial CGI effects (even the CGI effects in Independence Day were better - I’m watching the movie while writing this). We’re in the 21st century with great advances in technology and movies are given big budgets (particularly Hollywood films), yet despite all this, most movies end up with CGI effects from another era. How come this happens over and over? In this one, we see people running too fast, horses running too fast, and they’re all like a big mass of headless chickens and you don’t know exactly what is happening where. All this fast running, the constant cut and paste of scenes looks all too modern and doesn’t fit the current time period of the movie and it surely doesn’t transmit the way of fighting of that period. 

Moreover, we get lots of flashback-lesson learning scenes throughout the movie. This is another fashion in movies lately, playing the film in the present time while at the same time jumping back and forth between flashbacks. It spends a good portion of the movie with these flashbacks. This is not a big issue and admirable per se but when these scenes are insignificant because they’re glossed over and transmitted without zilch emotion, then why even bother to include them in the first instance?

As a last comment, I like the fact that they hired Chinese actors and actresses for the movie (although I don’t know why it had to be in English, I’d have preferred it to be in Chinese, it’s not like we’re allergic to subtitles - unless they’re not done properly), some of them of renewed name, like Gong Li, Rosalind Chao (I loved her in The Joy Luck Club), Jet Li, Donnie Yen (legendary Ip Man), Jason Scott Lee (saw him in Dragon: The Bruce Lee Story), Tzi Ma but they won’t be able to save the movie even with a great cast like this one. 

[ficforce]

Foien Li Relationship Alphabet

A- Activity (What is their favourite activity to do with Y/N.)

Foien Li is a keen gardener, he likes to take care of the plants inside and outside of Company 1. He has his own little patch of garden on Company grounds and one of his favourite things is to go shopping with Y/N at garden centres.

They’re happy to hold hands through the greenhouses, looking at all the different kinds of flowers and once they’ve chosen He treats her to lunch in the cafe.

B- Beginnings (How do they act in the beginning of a relationship)

It was very difficult at the start.

Y/N hadn’t expected to fall in love with a man who had already given his heart, body and soul to God. He was very kind but firm in rejecting her at first. He had dried her eyes and apologised that he couldn’t be with her.

She tried to be a good friend to him, she tried to shove down her feelings but eventually, it was too much and she broke down.

Foien had felt his heartbreak at seeing her so distraught and all because of him, he had sought guidance from the church and during his confession, the Priest on the other side of the screen had told him that his heart was big enough for God and Y/N. There was no sin in falling in love.

For a long-time Y/N thought that Foien was going out with her because he felt guilty, it took a long while for her to believe that he had loved her too and had been trying to hold back.

They’re very much in love.

C- Communication (Are they good communicators? How do they normally talk about their problems or solve issues)

Once they were comfortable as a couple, Foien and Y/N talked about everything and anything. Y/N is a follower of Sol and can understand some of Foien’s hang-ups. As a priest, Foien is a good listener and gives advice freely.

They’re very honest with one another and rarely keep secrets.

D- Drunk (What are they like when they’re drunk)

He very rarely drinks, it’s usually one or two with food.

Y/N doesn’t have a high tolerance for alcohol and can’t stop giggling when she’s drunk, everything is funny and Foien usually ends up walking her home and helping her get ready for bed before leaving.

She once made him come all the way back to her home to kiss her forehead goodnight - Foien hasn’t revealed that to her… yet.

E- Emergency (How are they in emergency situations? Y/N gets hurt, they get hurt, someone is dying etc..)

When Y/N had met Foien at the hospital after losing his arm, she had been too shocked to speak. She hadn’t known what to do or say and simply wrapped her arms around him, hugging him close as if to protect him from the world. Afterwards, she was too attentive and he had to sit her down to talk.

Foien had been devastated when he had learned that Y/N had had an accident at work - he had been away for three days and he felt guilty for not being there. She had broken her leg in a fall and though he was relieved, Foien made sure to stay by her side, even taking time away from the Church.

F- Free Spot (I’ll give you any headcanon I come up with)

They’re abstaining from Sex until maybe one day they decide to get married.

They have a Sin Box; this is where they put scraps of paper with their sexual fantasies on. If they ever get married they’ll open the box and try every one.

G- Gifts (What kind of gifts do they give? What kind of gifts do they get?)

Y/N is an excellent calligrapher and often gifts Foien with pages of his favourite prayers on.

He has framed a few of them for his room but most of them he keeps in a book.

Foien knows how much Y/N likes pens and inks, he’s brought her some very high-quality stationery.

H- Hugs (How do they show affection/cuddle)

They hold hands quite often, the only time they don’t is when Foien needs to use his hand.

Y/N likes to cuddle into his side when they’re walking along and it’s chilly, when they’re alone she likes to snuggle up to him on the sofa during a movie.

I- Irritation (What is something that irritates them? How do they show their irritation?)

Foien gets irritated when Y/N tries to do too much for him, he’s a little sensitive about what he can’t do anymore since he lost his arm. She usually realises that he’s getting upset when he places his hand on her head and tells her point-blank that he can do it.

Y/N doesn’t have the same amount of patience as Foien, she can get irritated by people who walk too slow or people who simply don’t have any manners. She’ll huff and puff and mutter under her breath.

Foien finds it cute.

J- Jackpot (How would they spend their winnings if they won the lottery?)

They don’t need anything, they have each other and their faith, they both have a home too.

Most likely they’d give it all away to charities.

K- Kryptonite (What is their ultimate weakness?)

His faith.

As strong as Foien’s faith makes him - it’s also his weakness. Could he go against his beliefs even if it meant protecting Y/N?

Y/N is actually terrified of fires since a traumatic incident in her youth.

As much as she loves Foien, she does get anxious when he uses his ignition abilities.

L- Laughter (What makes them laugh?)

Y/N is easily amused, she’ll laugh at nearly anything - especially if she’s had alcohol.

Foien finds her amusement funny and he’s often holding back laughter when Rekka and Karim get into it.

M- Morning ( How do they wake up in the morning? Are they a morning person or a morning grouch?)

Both of them are used to getting up early for Church.

Foien is usually up and ready to go, he doesn’t like to rush so always gets up with plenty of time.

Y/N will sleep as much as she can, often having to rush around and miss breakfast to be on time - she’s unusually cheery despite that.

N- Needy (When do they feel particularly needy? How do they show it?)

Y/N misses him terribly when she doesn’t get to see him for a few days, she’ll want to be extra close to him for a few hours before she calms down a little. She’ll fuss over him a little more than usual.

He doesn’t tend to show it but he’ll happily let her fuss over him.

O- Oasis (Where is their happy place? Where would they go if they didn’t have anything holding them back?)

Foien wasn’t born in Tokyo, he travelled across the sea as a child and one day he would like to take Y/N to the little village he was born in.

For now, their favourite place is his part of the garden at Company 1, they enjoy tending it together.

P- Pain (How do they handle pain? How do they handle when Y/N are in pain?)

Her pain tolerance is pretty good, she’s quite stubborn in not taking her medicine until it’s too late and she ends up crying because it hurts.

Foien will gently scold her but sits with her until she feels better. He hates when he can’t do more.

When he lost his arm, Foien was on quite a few medications. He would keep quiet even when he was in pain as he didn’t want to worry anyone.

Q- Quote (What’s a quote that fits them and your relationship)

If I know what love is, it is because of you.

R- Reunion (How do they celebrate seeing Y/N after a long time of being apart)

They’ll arrange to spend a whole day together, they’ll go out for lunch, visit bookshops and gardens. Foien always leaves in the evening but it’s nice to know he’s only a phone call away.

S- Stress (What stresses them out? How do deal with stress and how do they relieve it?)

For Foien, prayer is his go-to for stress. He finds comfort in the beauty of the Grand Cathedral and being alone with his thoughts and faith. The thing that stresses him the most is not being able to save everyone.

Y/N takes long baths, she reads a book and gets lost in the story - eventually forgetting why she was so stressed in the first place.

Of course, talking to one another about their stresses always helps.

T- Terror (What are they afraid of?)

Y/N is terrified of fire. She will get up several times in the night to make sure that all of the electrics and cooking appliances are safe.

Foien is terrified that he’s not doing enough, he’s terrified that one day he’ll get a call that Y/N has become an Infernal. He needs to stop Human Combustion before it’s too late.

U- Unique (What is a quirk that is unique to them?)

Foien carries a spare hat around with him… in case.

Y/N is left-handed.

V- Violence (Do they fight a lot? Are they a good fighter? What is their fighting style?)

Y/N has no fighting skills at all, she’s not a violent person at all. She’s the type of person to cry during an argument.

He doesn’t fight unless needed. Foien abstains from practice fights to remain peaceful.

((No one even knows what his ability is!! There’s so little on our cinnamon priest!))

W- Wow (What does Y/N do that really surprises them? What do they do that Y/N really likes?)

Foien has a wonderful singing voice, Y/N loves to listen to him when he joins choir practice.

Y/N speaks three languages, the first time Foien heard her, he got really excited!

X- (Explicit headcanon. For all you degenerates)

They’re abstaining from sex but sometimes they’re innocent kisses get really heated and the making out can get out of hand.

They both usually have to take a day to cool off.

Y- Yucky (Is there something that grosses them out so badly that they can’t deal with it?)

They’re both pretty good about doing these things.

Y/N is no good dealing with other people’s bodily fluids and will get sick at just the thought of someone throwing up near her though.

Z- ZZZ’s (What are their sleeping habits? Both with and without Y/N)

Foien can sometimes get really into a book and he’ll stay up too late. He usually goes to bed by ten at the latest, unless he has duties and he sleeps on his back. He doesn’t move around too much.

Y/N has a terrible habit of going to bed after midnight, she sleeps on her front and hugs her pillows. She falls out of bed easily.

The one-time Foien had to stay over because of a typhoon, they agreed to share a bed but to stay on their own side. When they woke up in the morning they were holding each other.

[purplesurveys]

1011

1. Five facts about your current relationship OR five facts about your single life.

a) I haven’t been truly single in...around 6 years, so it’s been a bit of an adjustment.

b) It was my last day as an intern yesterday (but they hired me, so I’m staying after all, haha) and since I’ve felt like I gained a family in the last two months, I thought it would be okay to give professionalism a break and share what had actually been going on with me on my first day on the job, aka when the breakup was still fresh and I was still figuring out how to function all over again. It unsurprisingly surprised everyone and my superior said something like, “Omg it’s the [company name] curse; it’s so strong it broke you guys up before you even got hired” which got a laugh out of me.

c) I’m not interested in seeing other people.

d) Probably wouldn’t be, for a long time. My trust has been irreparably broken.

e) Seeing couples in public has now become annoying. I’m happy for them, but it’s still annoying.

2. Five facts about a past relationship.

a) I’ve known her since kindergarten, but we didn’t become friends till 7th grade and didn’t start dating until junior year of high school.

b) We were legal with her family and her parents loved me and I them. On the other hand, I was never able to come out to my family because she broke up with me before I could be able to do so.

c) She introduced me to vaping.

d) We were never able to truly travel together, which we always planned to do after graduating. The farthest we reached was Batangas.

e) She never knew where she wanted to eat whenever we were out, so I was mostly the one who decided which restaurant we were going to have lunch or dinner in.

3. Five facts about your mother.

a) She has always worked in hotels, which is great because it has always allowed us to get room and buffet discounts, heh.

b) Her family (aka my grandparents, her, and my uncles) struggled financially for a little bit when my grandpa lost his job when she was in college. When her friends would go to fast-food restaurants, my mom would always decline, saying she had schoolwork to finish. In reality she just couldn’t afford anything, and the only money she held was for public transport.

c) She is a little childish considering her age, and I cannot stand her petty tantrums. She was childish even when I was a kid, and I believe my emotional well-being suffered because of that.

d) She has a high pain tolerance and the only time I’ve seen her struggle was when she was getting a tattoo on the back of her shoulder.

e) She is also extremely religious and it especially grinds my gears when she gets hypocritical about it, which is just about all the time.

4. Five facts about your father.

a) He has only ever dated my mom.

b) He grew up extremely poor and at some point his parents actually stopped being able to afford his tuition. Instead of being kicked out, a few nuns who served in the school paid my grandparents a visit and told them my dad would be given a scholarship since he had good grades and it would have been a waste if he got expelled.

c) He was a dancer in high school, knows how to play the guitar, and he also apparently knows how to draw very well. There’s a lot I don’t know about him, considering he has worked abroad my whole life.

d) He breaks or loses his reading glasses once every few months. I know which parent I definitely take after.

e) I have never seen him cry.

5. Five facts about your sibling. If you have more than one, pick one. Or do them all!

a) She had problems crying in school until she was in around 2nd or 3rd grade.

b) She’s in college and is currently taking up digital filmmaking.

c) She’s the biggest introvert I know. I’ve never seen her be willing to do anything silly; not even with her friends.

d) She can’t handle spicy food.

e) Her main interests have shifted from Harry Potter, to One Direction, to 5SOS, and now K-pop. I believe she’s into Seventeen the most.

6. Five facts about your town.

a) The upper part of the city offers amazing views of the Metro Manila skyline, which has recently made the place a kinda popular nightlife destination.

b) There’s a lot of hidden gem restaurants here but because most people spend more time complaining about how far my city is and how difficult it is to get to than actually just making the damn ride over here, the restaurants stay hidden and uncrowded. Their loss.

c) Used to be massively underdeveloped for most of my childhood and teenage years. Now there are several malls and I can easily go to a McDonald’s, Burger King, and Starbucks right outside our village.

d) Because you basically have to drive through a mountain to get to the upper part of the city, it’s not the safest highway and fatal crashes are unfortunately common.

e) The city is known for its suman, except I hate Filipino rice cakes and this actually doesn’t do anything for me.

7. Five facts about your house.

a)  It used to have a balcony until we had that transformed into another bedroom. So technically it is still a balcony; it just hasn’t had that purpose for a while now.

b) My mom used a little cheat in our dining room and installed a huge wall mirror. Most people visiting for the first time always note how much larger it made the room (and thus the house) look.

c) I live in a neighborhood where the houses are of the same model and look (think the Squidville episode from Spongebob). That said, balconies are included in all properties. When my parents decided to renovate ours and turn it into a room, so many houses slowly followed suit as well. It was amusing to see it unfold, knowing the idea undoubtedly originated from us. It was like a revolution.

d) We don’t have a gate, which irritates me to no end because it allows noisy neighborhood kids to just march and run around our property. Sometimes they even make it to our carport and backyard, ugh. :(

e) Speaking of backyard, the landscaping for it used to be a pebble mosaic designed to look like a swan. But over the years the quality deteriorated, so my parents to opted to have the pebbles crushed into tiny rocks and embedded onto the ground. I don’t exactly know what this technique is called, but yeah.

8. Five facts about your niece or nephew. If you have more than one, pick one. Or do them all! Skip if you don’t have one. I don’t have any, but I do have a godson so I’m going with him as I don’t want to leave any section blank.

a) He was born sometime in December. I honestly don’t remember when, loooooool. Worst godmother ever.

b) He’s actually one of my first cousins, but I guess my aunt saw something in me and wanted me to be his godson. I’ve been a terrible one, though; I’ve never bought him gifts or money or anything – to be fair, I was made a ninang when I was like, 14 or 15 lmao.  But I can definitely make up for it now that I’m starting to earn my own money.

c) He’s the calmer, sweeter version of his older brother. His kuya was a pretty naughty kid when he was his age.

d) He mainly speaks English, as how most younger parents raise their kids these days. He understands Filipino of course, but he mostly communicates in English.

e) The last time I saw him, he was in the middle of a ridiculously adorable interviewing phase where he’d approach anyone in the family and start asking them a series of questions: what’s your favorite color? What food can’t you live without? What’s your favorite subject in school? Would you rather win $1 million dollars or know how to fly? It typically got exhausting after the 25th question, but it was so cute nonetheless. None of us have any idea where it came from.

9. Five facts about your education.

a) I went to a private, all-girls, Catholic school from kinder up to high school, and then moved to a public, co-educational, non-sectarian university for college. It was the very epitome of culture shock, lemme tell ya.

b) Some classes I had in my first school that might be uncommon in others have included penmanship (because my school has its own brand of cursive), environmental education, and I don’t remember what this next class was called anymore but we were basically taught how to write professionally? Like how to write cover letters and resumés and all.

c) My first school is extremely homophobic and went so far as to ‘hire’ spies  tasked to check up on who’s been in same-sex relationships, list them all down, and report them to the guidance office so that they can be called one by one and be interrogated, and for the most part, pressured to come out. I don’t know if they still do this, but the younger batches are definitely more vocal and woke now thanks to social media and I doubt those practices would still fly today.

d) My university education was a breath of fresh air. Suddenly people were wearing sleeveless tops, mobs and rallies were a common sight to me, and my instructors were now atheist and not shoving Catholicism and Jesus and salvation down my throat. I loved every single day of it.

e) The most interesting class I took in college was a course called Pornography in Electronic Media, under the broadcast communication department. Getting to tell people I take a class where we sit down to watch porn was such a fucking ride.

10. Five facts about your job.

a) I got hired last Wednesday, but I had been interning for the company for around two months before they extended the offer.

b) I’m pretty much gonna be doing the same things I did as an intern, except I’m now accountable for any boo-boos I make HAHAHAHA. Also, I’m gonna be paid a lot more, obviously, which is sweet. I really thought we interns were severely underpaid considering the work that we help with on a daily basis.

c) My role is going to be with another department which is a little scary because it means the things I learned with the department I actually interned at will be pretty much useless. I’ll be starting from scratch again, but I’m still excited.

d) It’s a work-from-home situation, which is a relief for me because I don’t have to wake up early and I don’t have to face traffic. 

e) My job interview for the position was actually a bit of a bomb because I absolutely fumbled with and messed up the first question I was asked; and since first impressions matter, I really thought I lost the gig from the very start of the interview. I made up for it as the interview continued and fortunately was able to break the ice and build a rapport with the team members who spoke with me, and I guess I did enough for them to want to take me in anyway.

For those who are curious, I blanked the fuck out when they asked “Tell me something about yourself that isn’t in your resumé.” Slowest 15 seconds of my life.

[girl4music]

My review of the XBOX Series X

So I’ve had nearly a full week with the XBOX Series X and here is my honest opinion on my experience with it and this is my initial review of it. I’m not gonna talk about the technology or go into anything about the console’s hardware too deeply. I will talk about the features and benefits it offers. Going into some things that work and don’t work as well as promised by Microsoft and XBOX. Finally, I will talk about all the bugs and issues that I experienced and found most annoying. Most of which have already been identified and reported. 

First up, be aware that I am coming from an XBOX 360 as my last XBOX console experience so I may say stuff that applies to the XBOX One as well.

1. BACKWARDS COMPATIBILITY AND AUTO HDR: Microsoft promised that the XBOX Series X and S would work right out of the box with 1000’s of gaming titles across 4 generations. This promise holds up… However, they do not run anywhere half as well as they also promised they would. They do run better than their native platform, that is true. But it’s not a groundbreaking difference. And AUTO HDR doesn’t really work with most games that never had it to begin with. It makes the colours and textures look really odd and you don’t get that nostalgic feeling of playing an old legacy title because of the “updates”. Which is something I was very much looking forward to. It’s pick your poison I guess. You can either have a legacy game running better and looking greater on a platform that can take the graphical fidelity and framerate boosts, or have a full reunion with your beloved legacy games from your childhood. You can turn AUTO HDR off via the main console settings, but this still doesn’t really give you the latter. Not in my personal opinion anyway. It’s not disappointing as it’s not something I really expected. I just would have liked to have it. Nostalgia >>> Shiny any day.

2. QUICK RESUME AND LOADING TIMES: The XBOX Series X (can’t speak for the S) has significantly improved on speed thanks to the custom lightning fast and functional SSD. So much so that you can now travel between multiple games fully loaded up on the SSD within the time of a few seconds. However, quick resume is not only useful to be able to play between 3 or 4 games (more according to YouTube influencers who have tried and tested this out far more than me) in one sitting. You can also effectively use it to save your game. Or rather… Replace save states IN a game. What quick resume allows you to do is keep your game saved at ANY point, and completely SHUT the console down and UNPLUG it for several days (or longer, again, never tested it that far) and then PLUG it in and switch it ON again, and come back to exactly where you left off in the game. And I do mean EXACTLY WHERE YOU LEFT OFF!

For example; you could be in an all-important boss fight in ‘Assassin’s Creed: Valhalla’ and be so frustrated with not being able to beat this boss after trying many times. You could indeed just pause the game, come out to the dashboard, turn the console off and walk away from it all…. And when you came back to have another go at it, you would not have to restart the boss fight and just carry on with where you left off in chopping down their health. I did this several times because I suck at boss fights… And every time, this worked and it was the strategy that got me through them all. So a little cool off time is more than affordable with the XBOX Series X. And if you hate boss fights, suddenly you won’t hate boss fights as much anymore if you do the same. It makes a world of a difference to your experience. Believe me, quick resume is a literal life-saver.

To add to that, you also benefit from much quicker load times both with booting up the games and in-game fast-travelling or level-entering. Instead of 5 minutes waiting for a game to boot up into the main campaign or wherever,… It will take at most up to 50 seconds for the most power-taxing of games. 'Grand Theft Auto 5' for instance, known for it’s notoriously long boot into story or online mode… Now only takes 10 seconds from the company title advertisements to get into the area of the game you want to play. It is so fast that you do not have the time to read the tips and tricks dialogue that takes up the screen during the initial loading. It’s honestly a quality of life you never even knew you needed or was missing until you had it.

3. BUGS AND ISSUES: Being that I bought the XBOX Series X at Launch (November 10th), I very much expected it to come with a plethora of bugs and issues to discover and be witness to as a consumer and user of newly developed and released hardware and software. And these bugs and issues have already been identified and reported to Microsoft and the respective console and game developers. Bugs where you cannot play games that offer 4K at 120 hertz (4K/120fps) without visual and audial distortions or even without turning the game off altogether. I particularly had trouble with this in trying to play ‘Rise Of The Tomb Raider' 20 Year Celebration edition. Once I downloaded it from the XBOX Store fully, (which took a LONG FUCKING TIME, we’ll get on to that in a bit), I immediately tried to play it and because my display settings were set at 4K/120 because I have a TV that supports that setting, it was having all sorts of problems in booting up. There was all this distortion happening on screen both visually and audially that I thought my ultra high speed HDMI cable that came with the console was broken or faulty. I also remember specifically that it kept turning my Game Mode on and off rapidly and I didn’t know how to stop it avoiding a full reset of the console. This game was the worst for it but it also happened in other games I tried to play too. Including those I had as physical disks.

Speaking of… I did not encounter the “black/blank screen of death” issue other next-gen XBOX consumers and users did where you would enter a game disk and be met with a black or blank screen. BUT I did have trouble with downloading the “updates” for the games I had bought physically. I expected the games I downloaded digitally to take a long time to download fully, but I figured that it would be much quicker for the “updates” for physical games. This was not the case, and for some games, it actually took LONGER. I don’t know why this happens or if it can even be fixed in a firmware update, but it has put me off buying games physically for it, which is certainly not a good thing for store game retailers. And I’m someone who actually cares about that and would want to help them out as much as possible since they are a dying breed. But if it takes longer to download physical games than to download digital games, I’m not sure I can hold up that promise. The time it takes to download is a major frustration for me. I’ll be leaving my console on for long periods of time doing nothing but downloading that I otherwise wouldn’t. And I’ve got to say right now that I am glad I do not have an OLED TV where this would be much more of a problem due to burn-in risks. I would highly suggest anyone who is buying a new TV for their XBOX Series X or S with all the bells and whistles to not buy an OLED for this reason. Leaving an OLED TV on with a display picture that never moves for hours at a time would severely decrease it’s life and usage capacity. I recommend a Samsung QLED TV instead. That’s what I’ve got. I bought their Q95T 55inch 4K TV for gaming alone and it has not disappointed in the slightest. But I won’t go into why it’s the better TV to buy for next-gen gaming since this is not a TV review. You can look that up for yourselves at your leisure.

Another issue the XBOX Series X has is with its sharing image snapshots and video clips feature. The new controller for the console has a dedicated share button and that works really well. I’ve had no problems with it capturing the content that I want to share. But sharing to social media and to XBOX Live itself is the issue. And this happens with video clips more so than image snapshots. For some reason, when I go to share a video clip to Twitter, the load bar moves forward partly but then it immediately stops and gives me a black/blank screen. And sure enough, when I go to check my Twitter on my phone, it has not posted the video clip. And trying to share it to XBOX Live first and then share it to Twitter from my phone via the XBOX app doesn’t work either. The same issue applies here too. Black/blank screen when trying to share it to XBOX Live. Snapshot images also has this issue but every once in awhile it will allow you to share to both XBOX Live and social media (Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, Twitch ect…) whereas it will not allow you to share video clips at all. This is an issue Microsoft are aware of and are apparently fixing in a November firmware update at the end of the month. To what degree they fix it though is the real question because this feature is buggy as hell. So much for promoting and hyping up that dedicated share button on the controller, eh Phil Spencer and Co?

Well, that’s it. That’s been my experience with the XBOX Series X so far. Of course the pros of quick resume and loading times cut in half far outweigh the cons of faulty 4K resolution at 120 hertz gameplay and buggy sharing content features. I say do not let that put you off buying this fantastic piece of hardware because those bugs and issues can be fixed easily. The extremely long downloading for digital and physical games might not though and you might want to reconsider buying a next-gen XBOX console if you have an OLED TV. Or if you have the console already but not the TV to get the most advantages out of the console, consider buying a Samsung QLED instead. Thank you.

[itszephoria]

Saw this pop up and your followers ask you which ones they’re interested in. But people don’t really ask much when I post or they don’t ask the ones that might make you feel uncomfortable. And well, honestly I’m so bored that I’ve decided to break all the damn rules and just answer all the questions because I can. *shock horror*

So information dump on the ‘Be nosy’ that popped up in my feed today. If you’re interested.

Be nosy

1. What’s your sexual orientation? 

Straight. But maybe for the right woman I could sway but wouldn’t go so far as to call myself bi or bi-curious though.

2. What are you obsessed with right now? 

Obsessively obsessing about my health and how to get well and failing it all. Oh and anime movies on Netflix.

3. Ever done any drugs?

I do drugs everyday. But I assume this is referring to illegal. No and was strictly no up until recently. I now take marijuana oil on a regular basis for pain management. Also being stoned/high is not pleasant and I don’t understand why people would enjoy that as a leisurely pastime.

4. What piercings do you want?

I want to get my ears pierced again. Holes have closed up, but currently due to my health that’s not possible. I can’t even enjoy clipons :(

5. How many people have you kissed?

The massive number of 5.

6. Describe your dream home.

It’s tiny in the sense it has all the space I need. A cosy tiny-like home. But not one on wheels, fixed to the ground. And it would be made of all natural materials, stone and wood. It would be unique and resemble something out of a fairy tale. It would sit a beautiful clearing with only nature to view in the distance and all the animals and wildlife would stay well away because I’m pretty much terrified of all it, 

7. Who are you jealous of?

Healthy, painfree people. I am jealous of past me who didn’t realise how lucky she was and miss her.

8. What’s your favorite show to binge?

I don’t binge any show on repeat. I’d rather look for a new show to watch or enjoy, there are so many. The last shows I binged in two days was Queen’s Gambit and Emily in Paris.

9. Do you watch porn?

Yep. But struggle with it because it’s overdramatic, unrealistic and would kill or someone to make porn with a decent storyline with people that can act. 

I prefer to read it if I’m honest or maybe just write it for myself.

10. Do you have a secret sideblog?

Sort of? More like my other one I used I was known for all my slash writings in F1. But now I just hang out here.

11. If you could teleport anywhere in the world right now, where would you go?

No where. The world is riddled with co-vid and well, I’m probably in one of the safest countries and I’m at risk of death should I catch it. So I’ll stay here in my safe bubble.

12. What’s one of your fantasies?

I wake up tomorrow and I’m not me. I wake up and I can take a deep breath without gasping for air, I wake up in no pain, I wake up and my body isn’t terribly scared, I wake up and can have a ‘normal’ life.

13. Do you have/would you get your nipples pierced?

Nope and no desire too. Won’t that just hurt?

14. How would you spend a million dollars?

I’d by that dream house I described, set everything up to be self sufficient. Pay and travel to try every cure available for my diseases. And then bank the rest and live off interest. Or maybe donate it. I don’t want money and I don’t really want a lot of things.

15. Are you in a relationship?

Yep and it’s a struggle and am constantly fighting to prove it’s worth continuing. Oh and that’s a relationship with myself.

16. Do you follow porn blogs?

No.

17. Are you angry with anyone right now?

No, I suppose it’s more disappointed and let down by people more than angry. I’m working everyday on letting it go but it’s not easy.

18. What tattoos do you want?

I have always wanted one, but have never found something that I really loved and haven’t been imaginative enough to create something unique. The older I get though, I’m not sure I want one. I did for the longest time though think about getting a Ferrari tattooed on my inner wrist, but pleased I never did that. I don’t love the sport or Ferrari enough anymore to want a permanent reminder of that.

19. If you could change your name, would you? What would you change it to?

I am changing name actually. Hoping to action that in the next two weeks. I would have done it earlier but they closed the borders. I have a dutch sir name that has two words. It confuses every one, systems don’t get it, it has caused issues with plane tickets. And well I’ve decided no more and am dumping a portion of it.

20. What is something you’re obsessed with?

This is a duplicate. Skipping.

21. Describe your best friend.

When you meet her for the first time she can be a little crazy and wild, and she kind of scared at me first because she’s so unlike me. But as you got to know her, the *real* her she doesn’t let people see, you realise how kind and soft she is, and she’s the most empathic person I have known. She gives so much of herself to everyone, thinks so little of herself and her needs because she’s one of the most selfless people I know. I love her more than most of my family and would do anything for her.

22. Tag someone you think is hot.

Is this followers? Uh most I don’t know what they look like? I assume they’re all hot!

23. Who are five of your favorite bands/musical artists?

Don’t have any really. My music is varied and is based on my mood and really changes around. And with most bands, I generally lean towards one or two songs. This is one of those questions I really struggle with whenever I see it. Will say however, have been enjoying The Beatles recently and a bit of old school stuff.

24. What are three places you want to travel?

Japan. Norway. Canada.

25. Describe your perfect Friday night.

Generally hanging out with people I like. Enjoying a good wine, some cheese, either playing some board game or dungeons and dragons, or watching a really good movie. Good company makes any night a good night.

26. What’s your favorite season?

Autumn. One because I think it’s neglected as a choice and every season should be loved, and two because I love the colours of autumn and the colours associated with autumn. 

27. What’s your pet peeve?

I’m sure I have a heap of them, but currently it’s people that have an issue with you and instead of being an adult and talking to you about them choose to silence and blank you. I’m so tired of it, I’ve quit being peacemaker in those situations, those people are no longer worthy in my book.

28. Who is the funniest person you know?

Uh... I don’t think anyone I know is super funny. Friends and family all have a good sense of humor. But out of my circle of life people I’m always told I’m the funny one, which I find the biggest joke ever. 

29. What’s the most overrated movie?

Can not think of anything off the top of my head. I will say if I think a movie is getting too much hype I refuse to watch it, whether all the reviews are raving or not. It’s why I didn’t watch Harry Potter for like ten years or any of the new Star Wars movies. I just refuse to be apart of all the hype and jump on bandwagons.

30. Tag someone you want to talk to but have been too shy to message.

I’d love to talk to everyone. I’m shy to start any conversations to be honest and I think all the people I talk to regularly were the first to message me, and I love them for it.

31. Do you like paper books or ebooks better?

100% love an old fashioned paper book. The texture of the paper. The smell of a book. That being said, I don’t think I’ve picked up a proper book to read in years. I live in fan fiction more than anything or am busy writing myself.

32. If you could live in a fictional world, what world would you pick?

Any of the disney worlds, anything from the past, or verging on fantasy like. I want a simpler time not full of technology which I grow to hate more each day. The older I get the more I’m pretty sure I’ve been born in the wrong decade.

33. If money was no object, what would your wardrobe be like?

I’d build the perfect wardrobe capsule. Everything would be of high quality, not necessarily brand name and all the clothes would be sourced from ethical businesses or be handmade.

I like classic pieces, love the fashion of the 50′s and 60s and while stylish it would be comfortable to wear and everything could be worn in public (sorry comfy tracky pants).

34. What’s your coffee order?

There ain’t no coffee order. I don’t drink it. Sorry @leoni-speedyf1 I know how addicted you are to it, happy to buy you anything you like though :P

35. Do you have a crush on anyone?

In real life? No one.

36. Do you still have feelings for any of your exes?

Not romantic. I have feelings in that I hope they’re doing well, achieving what they want and they’re all happy. I didn’t have any ‘bad’ breakups and all my relationships ended very amicably.

37. Have any tattoos?

No. See above for more on this.

38. Do you drink?

Rarely. Can’t with medication and condition. But on occasion I do enjoy a good glass of red. Pinot Noir is my preference. 

39. Are you a virgin?

Nope.

40. Do you have a crush on any of your mutuals?

Not in a romantic way? The ones I talk to regularly I love immensely though.

41. How many followers do you have?

99

42. Describe the hottest person you know.

Uh all the men I know I am not attracted to. Probably a good thing as they’re either family or partnered with a friend or family member.

43. What’s your guilty pleasure?

Can’t think of anything. I try not to feel guilt for anything I enjoy to be honest, whether it’s food or an activity. Life is too short for that.

44. Do you read erotica?

Yep. Even write it.

45. What’s the worst date you’ve ever been on?

It was a few years back. I met this guy online and we went to the city and spent most of that time just strolling next to the river for our first meet up. Why was it the worst date ever? Well it wasn’t the location that’s for sure.

The guy had two kids, and I’m a firm believer all parents have favourites, though I have yet to meet a parent that will voice that aloud. This guy, had no qualms with telling me about this favourite kid, and that wouldn’t be a problem if didn’t spend just as much putting down his younger son. It kind of left me reeling and wondering how his son felt if his dad didn’t hide just how much he didn’t like him as a person. The kid was four and the reason his dad didn’t like him was because he didn’t like bikes.

And so the guy was a bmx rider so he spent the rest of the time on our walk just pointing out all the tricks he could do. He didn’t ask about me, only talked about himself. It was also lunch time and assumed we would get something to eat together, but nope, no food was offered. And when I suggested to get something to drink because it was so hot and we’d been out in the sun for like an hour, he just took me to a subway and told me to get a drink and waved me to the line. No offer to join me, no offer to pay (which doesn’t bother me btw, but this was capping off a terrible day), no offer to get food.

I was so happy to get out of there. Didn’t speak to him again once I had left.

46. How many people do you follow?

I currently follow 59 people. I don’t follow anyone that creates drama, and try and follow only people that post about F1 as that’s all I use tumblr for now.

47. If you could marry any celebrity, who would you pick?

Either Sebastian Vettel or Ryan Reynolds. Both are married though, so I don’t think that’s going to turn into a reality anytime soon.

48. Describe your ideal partner.

I want someone that shares the same core values as me. Doesn’t want kids, isn’t super religious (grew up in a cult like religion so I avoid it now), is on the minimalist side and isn’t someone that needs new things things all the time or is desperate to replace something the moment they deem it out of date. Someone that doesn’t live their life on social media. Someone that prefers simple things, someone who is kind and giving, and someone that truly loves me - and it’s the last part that I struggle with finding more than anything with all the guys I have dated. 

I am currently not looking for a partner, I am not in a place for a relationship and am fully focused on myself. And I am very content with that decision.

49. Who do you text the most?

Currently my bestie.

50. What’s your favorite kind of weather?

Clear blue skies and a warm day to enjoy the sun. But there are times when I simply love the rain, hearing it on the room, watching it fall endlessly and knowing that everything will be green from it.

[transcendragon]

Clone Outpost

The rumble of the mining bots makes the entire facility tremble, but Inferior Zeytord 4634 is so used to this that it doesn’t even register. ThreeZs (IZ 80090) and DoubleOs (IZ 76001) are monitoring the machines for this darkside shift, so it’s not his problem right now. Or at least it shouldn’t be. 4634 had taught the others carefully when they came, and the still-learning newbie IZ 895601 wasn’t on deck right now. He wouldn’t even be ready to work nightshift for a couple of weeks, until 4634 thought he was ready. It’s been a long while since ThreeZs and DoubleOs needed 4364’s supervision, though.

4634 wouldn’t even be awake right now if the supply shipment weren’t running so late.

He’s tapped into the system interface on the cargo deck, writing reports as he waits. He figures he might as well get something productive done. The Newbie was going to help him unpack the supplies, but 4634 sent him to bed an hour ago, so now unpacking was going to have to wait until tomorrow. 4634 might as well get something productive done.

An alert on the monitor popped up in front of the atmospheric conditions report 4634 had been working. The cargo vessel was finally here, flashing its Zeyfficial Certificate and this week’s security code through communications.

4634 sighed. He sent off the responding codes and pressed the button to open the transport bay as usual, ready to get this over with so he could sleep.

4634’s interface showed the cargo vessel as it pulled into the airlock, and 4634 frowned. It was a different ship than the standard long haul Zeycraft. It didn’t even look like a Zeytoidian military vehicle at all. The vessel was sleeker than the usual bulky style, and it had an insignia on the side that 4634 didn’t recognize at all.

He checked for his gun in his side pocket. The vessel had a Zefficial Certificate, and those were very hard to check, but it was better to be sure. It had been a long time since 4634 had used his weapon, but he was sure he still could.

With the affirmation that his gun was ready at his side 4634 went out to meet the cargo ship and it emerged from the airlock.

The ship’s door opened down with a thunk and a figure stumbled out of it. 4634 blinked. It’s been a long time since he’d seen one of them.

It was a single person. A human person, 4634 could still tell, though he hadn’t seen any of those since his time on the front lines. The human’s eyes were distinctively brown instead of red, his skin and hair were dark, and in general his features different from 4634’s own in both obvious and subtle ways.

“I’m really sorry about the delay,” the human said. He wore a grey and blue uniform much less dramatic that of the green and black style of the Zeytoidian military. The human drew one hand through his hair as he stared down at a notepad in his hand.

The human gave 4634 an apologetic smile, but got only a blank stare in response. Shifting uncomfortably, the human continued: ““My navigational system does not have a good time working this far out from colonized space. I mean,” the man gestured, “not that this isn’t colonized, you’ve obviously got something going out here, but man. The farthest cargo hub is so far- I mean this place doesn’t even show up on the map-”

“You are not a Zeytord Clone,” 4634 inturrupted. “You aren’t any part of the Zeytoidian military.”

“Uh, yeah, no.” The human shook his head. “No, I don’t have any Zeytord in me, no. I work for a communications and cargo company, actually. The Space Frontiers.” The human gestures again, this time specifically to the emblem on his ship. The logo.

4634’s hand strayed to his weapon.

“Why are you delivering the cargo here?” 4634 demands.

“Woah!” The human’s hands shoot up with palms outstretched. “I’m just working a job, dude! We have some good contracts with the Zeytoidian Empire! We’re a neutral, third-party business or whatever you want to call it. We just do basic supply runs.”

4634 took his hand off his holster and shook his head. Everything seemed to check out, and if this man was going to attack he probably would have already.

“We’ve just always gotten our supply from other Zeytoidian ships,” 4634 said, “and you were very late.”

“Yeah,” the human rubbed the back of his neck. “Sorry about that. I’ll get here quicker next time! You want your cargo?”

After the cargo was securely dumped 4634 had to sign the proper forms that said that he got it. Double the amount of forms as usual, for both the contractor and the Empire. 4634 still felt slightly off-balance.

“There was no announcement about a third-party contractor coming in,” 4634 commented as he skimmed the paperwork.

“Yeah, well, you know the empire, almost as bureaucratic as the Republic,” the human shrugged as if 4634 knew anything of the bureaucracy of the Republic. “Anyway, it’s a bit embarrassing, isn’t it? They probably don’t have enough troops for this kind of non-combat grunt work anymore.”

“What do you mean?” 4634 asked. “Why not?”

“Not after those recent battles, the ones the Republic won,” the human said. “You haven’t heard? They don’t announce these things?”

“They announce victories,” 4634 said, with a shrug of his own, “sometimes.” And when they did announce those victories this mining facility was often some of the last to know, being isolated and far from any Zeyloidian, Republic, or even fragment colony space.

“Huh,” the human said. He didn’t appear to have any words after that, and for a moment they shared an awkward silence. The human cleared his throat.

“Anyway,” he said, “gotta be going. You’re my last delivery for this run, but I’m running late enough as it is.” He began to turn back toward his ship, but gave 4634 a little wave. “Nice to meet you, though. Stoic as you are, you’re a lot nicer than the other Zeytord clones I’ve met!”

4634 acknowledged this with a nod. Unsurprising. Uncloned humans were considered even lowlier than the Inferior Clones, at the bottom of the Zeytord hierarchy.

“Goodbye,” he told the human.

The human lingered in his mind, though probably because it was the first person he’d seen in over two decades without the same face as his own.

. . .

The next supply run was on time, and Newbie was there to see it. Newbie, of course, had never met a human before.

“You look so weird!” Was the first thing Newbie said upon seeing the human. 4364 shook his head slightly, but the human just laughed.

Newbie was very curious.

“What’s your name?” Newbie asked.

“Xaviera Thresh,” the human replied, handing Newbie a box to unload and pack away.

“What kind of name is that?” Newbie asked, crinkling his face into a frown. “Where did you even get that? I mean, Thresh comes from 3, right? Does Xaviera come from 6?”

The human looked amused. “You know humans don’t get assigned numbers, right?”

“What!?” Newbie exclaimed. “How do you keep track?”

“Through their name, mostly,” Thresh shrugged. “I think the numbers are even more confusing. How do you remember them all?” “How do you remember all the names? How do you even name things?” Newbie asked in return. “What qualities made you an Xaviera? Or a Thresh?”

“Well, you keep track through families, kind of,” Thresh began to launch into an explanation of names. “That’s where the last name comes from, it’s usually shared by at least one of the parents who raised or made the child. The first name is chosen individually, and many first names are associated with different cultures or genders.”

“What’s a gender?” Newbie asked. Xaviera opened his mouth to explain, but 4634 had to interrupt to give Newbie his next job.

Newbie scampered off to follow instructions. Thresh shook his head, but there was a smile on his face.

“You know, before this I’d say that all Zeytords were stoic, cold even,” he said. “I’d say it’s coded into your DNA, a feature gifted from Emperor Zeytord himself. Now I’m not sure what to think, because there isn’t a bone of stoicism in that kid.”

“He’s a child,” 4364 said.

“Yeah. Too young to be working on a mining facility in most places,” Thresh commented.

“I was on the front lines of the war even younger,” 4364 said. “The facility is safe. It’s a good job.”

Not that Newbie ever believed 4364 when he said that. No, Newbie wanted the glory of battle! To fight for his Emperor, his country, himself! That’s practically the slogan of the learning facilities for Inferior Zeytord. The other four had been all for it too, playing at it all the time when they were younger and first sent to the facility. It’s only Four-Four got sent off and failed to come back that they stopped being quite so enamored with the idea.

4364 hoped that Newbie just grew out of it.

“Oh,” Thresh said softly. Even without his constant gesturing the man was expressive, and 4364 could read the emotions in wide brown eyes. Surprise, some, but mostly anger. And sadness. Perhaps a touch of pity, but small enough for 4364 to ignore. “I didn’t realize they had Clone troops that young.”

“It’s part of why helmets are regulation,” 4364 said. “Children are not intimidating opponents.” The information wasn’t a secret. They didn’t know any Empire secrets, the Inferior Zeytord crew of an isolated planet. Thresh probably knew more of empire affairs than they did.

“Huh,” Thresh said. He sighed. “Well, it’s a nasty world out there.”

There was a sadness in his eyes that made 4364 look away.

Their conversation ended as Newbie came rushing back in.

Newbie went off to deal with the last of the boxes as Thresh and 4364 went through the forms.

“You can really tell he’s yours, the kid,” Thresh said with a small smile, looking after Newbie.

“He’s not,” 4364 said without looking at the man. “There are no Inferior Zeytord fathers, and we are simply both clones of the Emperor Zeytord. There is obviously a resemblance as we are genetically identical, but it doesn’t represent a human biological relation.”

“The resemblance might not represent a ‘human biological relation’,” Thresh said, “but I wasn’t talking about a physical resemblance anyway.”

. . .

Emperor Zeytord decided to make the ranks of his army out of the one person he truly trusted and believed in: himself. There were roughly three ranks of Zeytord clones, though some of them may have subdivisions: Royal Zeytords, Middle Zeytords, and Inferior Zeytords. Royalty was his closest advisors and potential heirs, all based on the Emperor but specifically customized for excellence at their roles. They’re often given incredibly strength, dexterity, healing, intelligence, slow-aging, and resilience. Almost all the most powerful people in the Empire were Royal Zeytords. These Zeytords had one blue eye, like the Emperor himself, and then one green to be clearly differentiated.

Middle Zeytords filled all the rest of the leadership positions and professional military jobs. They were the officers. There are non-Zeytords civilians in the Empire who may hold professional positions, the conquered masses of humans who require Zeytord leadership, but never in military positions. Few even in any government positions, either. Many Middle Zeytords may move on to a comfortable civilian life after successful careers in the military or government. They’re differentiable by their yellow eyes. The standard Middle Zeytord was modeled after the Emperor, but without the same boosts in intelligence and strength favored to the Royal Zeytords. Still some booths to strength, healing, and slow-aging, but nothing like the superhumans that the Royalty often ends up being.

And then there’s Inferior Zeytords. They are pretty much all the same. They are almost all footsoldiers in the millitary, and though there are stories of heroic Inferiors making officer status you never actually see any of this happening and trying to verify the names in those stories will get you nowhere. The only customized line of Inferior Zeytords are the ones that serve as servants to the Emperor, who are given decreased strength. All other Inferior Zeytords get increased strenth and healing, but take a hit to intelligence somewhat. They’re not made stupid, certainly, but they aren’t meant to be all that smart, either. All Inferior Zeytords share the same red eyes and low status, but they may at least count themselves as better than humans.  

The Emperor himself is the original of all of these strains. He designed the cloning technology used and is known as a strategic genius even to his enemies, if an amoral one. He certainly uses biotech and nanotechnology to upgrade himself, though exactly how is a secret privy to only a trusted few. It’s certainly true that he hasn’t aged since 30, leaving him looking younger than many clones made decades after his birth.

Especially the Inferior Zeytord.

Targets to the Republic, cannon fodder to the Empire, the veterans that 4364 served with would often say, when they weren’t being watched. When they were being polite.

4364 was lucky, for an Inferior Zeytord. He was reassigned.

. . .

“Do all humans look like Thresh?” Newbie asked 4364 once, as they all lingered in the small dining area before lights out. The mining station was off, as a break for the machinery more for the clones staffing it. The place felt empty without the constant hum of the machines, and they all instinctively gathered together to combat the loneliness the silence threatened to bring in. It was already lonely, here on the outer edge of colonized space, where all real human civilizations were nothing but points of light in the sky if they were visible at all.

It was nice in its way, though. The empty expanse of the planet. The few opportunities they had to all gather together, when the machines were turned off.

There was no lounge area built into the mining facility. There were cramped sleeping quarters, an exercise room to fight the effects of low-gravity, and a make-shift kitchen with a dining area attached. So when they gathered, they gathered in the kitchen, turning a couple of crates into chairs so that they could all sit at the table.

“Don’t be stupid,” Sixes (543666) said. “Humans all look different, they’re not clones.”

“Yeah, silly,” Sevens agreed. “Didn’t you learn anything before you came here?” Sevens only had two sevens in his number, 678973, but he and Sixes came from the same IZ educational facility and were inseparable. From shifts to names they were together.

“Yeah, I know, but they never actually said what was different!” Newbie protested. “Like, they still all have the same amount of limbs, right? And Thresh was a different color, are they all different colors? And why’s Thresh a different shape?”

“Thresh is a different shape because he’s female,” ThreeZs explained. He had a soft spot for Newbie. Well, all of them did really, though Sixes and Sevens showed theirs in odd ways. ThreeZs frowned.“Or she’s female, maybe I should say? I’m not sure.”

“It’s hard to be sure, I don’t know what culture Thresh is from and some of them use pronouns to differentiate and refer to females with she and her.” 4364 said from the kitchen, as the only one of them who had ever been around humans before. He was finishing preparing the food. “Some of them use pronouns in more complicated ways, and often they have more pronouns, though, they often have categories called genders that are associated with but don’t always match up with physical sex.”

“Sex?” Newbie asked, nose wrinkling. “Isn’t that how they make humans?”

“No, he means sex as in the charictaristics that Thresh has that you don’t,” ThreeZs said patiently as Sixes snorted. “That’s because your physical sex is male. All of our physical sexes are male, because Emperor Zeytord is male.”

“I heard some of the Royal Zeytords are female,” Sevens said. “Can you imagine? It must be so weird.”

Sixes shook his head. “Royal Zeytords are all kinds of weird.”

“Female like Thresh?” Newbie asked. “Wait, so are he and him the pronouns associated with males, then, if they’re the ones we use?”

ThreeeZs beamed. “Absolutely!”

“So have we been calling Thresh by the wrong pronoun this whole time!?” Newbie exclaimed.

“Nah, Inferior Zeytords always use he, didn’t you hear?” Sixes said.

“Inferior Zeytords don’t have a choice,” DoubleOs muttered at the end of the table. “Just like with everything else.” DoubleOs was usually pretty quiet, so Newbie blinked up at him. 4364 made a note of it in his mind.

“Wait, humans get a choice?” Newbiw asked. “A choice of gender or pronouns or sex?”

For a moment 4364 watched the table as they all blinked and considered the possibility. They may have all been clones of the same person, but they were all having different reactions. Sixes and Sevens looked taken aback. ThreeZs was thoughtful and DoubleOs stared down hard at the table.

“It can be complicated, and there are often pressures in different cultures, but yes to an extent,” 4364 said as he poured out the Foodstuff(™) he’d been preparing from the pot into a large bowl. Foodstuff was never very good, it was designed to last and be shipped in builk more than taste good, but at least it was better cooked.

“They need medical procedures to change sex, often,” 4364 continued as he brought the pot of food to the table. The others shift eagerly in their seats. “But it’s all doable.”

It was times like these that 4364 most treasured the company of the others.

“How do we know Thresh’s pronouns, then?” Newbie asked, as the others started on the meal in front of them.

“You ask,” 4364 said.

. . .

“What’s your pronouns?” Newbie asked the next time Thresh gave a delivery.

Thresh blinked, taken aback for a moment, and then smiled. He seemed to relax.

“I use they/them/theirs pronouns,” Thresh said. “It’s rather old fashioned of me, I know, but I love the history of them.”

“They/them like plural pronouns?” Newbie asked. “What kind of history do they have?”

4364 let them completely unload the ship before sending anything to the store room so that Thresh could continue his- their conversation with Newbie. They piled the supply boxes high on the anti-grav carts used for transport around the facility maybe a little higher than was advisable.

It turned out Thresh was from a planet near the Solar System, the original Solar System, and they were more tied to Terran ways there. That territory was deep in the Republic, and 4364 had to wonder how Thresh ended up delivering cargo as far from the Republic as you could go for company ignoring the war to make as much money as possible. But 4364 himself didn’t press, and Newbie and ThreeZs wouldn’t know the implications of that information.

Thresh seemed happy and patient to explain, but there was something wrong. Not with the discussions or Newbie’s questions, a feeling that began even before Thresh began talking. It was different. 4364 could feel it in the air. Maybe it was the way Thresh stood, or something in their gaze as they chatted while the rest of them unloaded the supplies. A tension. A sadness.

“You know, you could choose your pronouns too, if you wanted to,” Thresh told Newbie.

“But all Zeytords are hes,” Newbie said. “The Emporeror Zeytord’s a ‘he.’”

“He might be, but that doesn’t mean you have to be, not here,” Thresh turned to look over at 4364 as he continued speaking. “There’s no one to keep track of the six of you here. You could basically do what you wanted, regardless of the Empire.”

“That’s not a very Zeytord way to think!” ThreeZs said, shaking his head. Newbie, however, looked intrigued.

4364 was more interested in what laid in Thresh’s gaze at the moment.

“Go take these to the storage area on your own?” 4364 asked ThreeZs. “Take Newbie with you, go over everything with him. I need to chat with Thresh here about something.”

“Well, just make sure you make it clear that that kind of talk doesn’t happen here in the Empire, okay?” ThreeZs said.

“Does this mean I get to drive one of the carts!?” Newbie exclaimed.

4364 nodded absently to both, and they were off.

He and Thresh stood silently for a moment.

“You can call me Xaviera, if you want,” Thresh said.

“What is this about, Thresh?” 4364 asked, and Thresh frowned and looked away.

“You don’t need to be rude,” Thresh said. They were rubbing absently at their arm, as though more nervous than offended.

4364 sighed. “I don’t mean to be rude, it’s just- something’s up. You’re making me tense, Xaviera.”

Xaviera swallowed, and glanced up at 4364. “Yeah. Yeah, something’s up. I’m not just delivering cargo this time.”

“No?” 4364 asked.

“No.” Xaviera said. “I have a message. All of you here are supposed to report to battle.”

4364 is silent for a moment.

“Why are you the one delivering this message?” 4364 asked. “This should be part of the Zeytord command.”

“It’s too important to send through your systems, which may have been compromised, I think,” Xaviera said. “And all of the other Zeytords who may have delivered it are reporting to battle. All of the other Inferior Zeytords.”

4364 paused for a moment, reading between the lines.

“This battle is going to be a bloodbath, isn’t it,” 4364 said. It wasn’t really a question.

Xaviera breathed in shakily. “Yeah. The Republic’s been winning for awhile, and I think the Empire might be going for a desperate strategy.”

“You know what happens to Inferior Zeytords who don’t report to battle, though, don’t you?” 4364 asked.

“I know it’s not good,” Xaviera said. “But that’s for Inferior Zeytrods who chose not to report to battle. Not the ones that never got the message in the first place.”

There’s a pause, between the two of them.

“Wouldn’t that get you in trouble?” 4364 asked. “Failing to deliver a message?”

“I could have gotten into an accident, lost my message and supplies,” Xaviera said. “At worst I’ll lose my job.”

If 4364 and the others reported to battle they’d probably die. They’d in the very least be seperated. Newbie was young, new meat, and if they were going to send him in without training they had to be very desperate. This had to be very dangerous. The Empire might even fall, and Zeytord himself knows what the Republic would do with any leftover Zeytords.

“If you want to go-” Xaviera said, after several moments of silence.

“No,” 4364 said. “No. Please, lose the message.” There’s another moment of silence.

4364 looked Xaviera in the eyes. “Thank you.”

“It’s nothing,” Xaviera said. “Well, I mean, it’s not nothing, but it’s the least I could do. I wouldn’t be able to live with myself otherwise.”

Maybe they would have said more, but at that moment the doors to the transport bay open suddenly and ThreeZs rushed in.

“Newbie-” ThreeZs panted, doubling over for a moment. “Newbie crashed cart.” More panting. “In corridor five. Are you done with your paperwork yet?”

4634 glanced at Xaviera. “Yeah, I’m done here.”

“Wait,” Xaviera held up a piece of paper. “One last thing before I go. Just in case.”

4364 took it and glanced at it wordlessly. It was extraplanetary coordinates for an area that 4364 estimated feel just outside of Republic space. Above the coordinates was written the word Haven. 4364 shoved it into his pocket.

“Thanks,” he told Xaviera, “for everything.”

“Of course,” Xavier said. “Good luck.”

They both knew he’d need it.

[thenovelartist]

The Love Dare, chapter 9

~ AO3 ~ Fanfiction ~ Support me on Ko-Fi ~

<<<First   <<Prev   Next>>

Day 21

Marinette marked her calendar with four interviews she had lined up. For all her faults, Chloe had been immensely helpful with telling Marinette everything she needed in an assistant. Then Alya had kindly jumped on the bandwagon and put Marinette’s ad on a couple social media sites. The results had been immediate.

“I’m so proud of you, Marinette,” Tikki said. “This is a step in the right direction.”

“Chloe said I need to hire two assistants,” Marinette said.

“And I fully agree,” Tikki said. “You need time to design again because that’s your passion. You also need someone to help you run the company. Doing it all on your own isn’t an option anymore because you need time to spend with Adrien and take care of yourself.”

Marinette nodded, frown tugging at her lips. “He’s been gone so much lately with the academy. What if this doesn’t work, Tikki?”

Tikki gave her a soft smile. “Marinette, there is only so much you can do. But tell me: would you regret doing this even if Adrien wants to give up?”

Feeling tears prick at her eyes, she turned away from her kwami but shook her head anyway. “No. No, I wouldn’t regret it.”

Tikki floated down to rest on Marinette’s shoulder. She didn’t say a word, simply patted Marinette’s shoulder in support.

Feeling the tears coming, Marinette quickly wiped them away then turned to see what other work she could do for the day before heading home.

…

“I’ll be gone tomorrow,” Adrien warned her.

“Oh?” Marinette asked. Again?

Adrien nodded. “I have a training day for the national team, then there’s a welcome dinner of sorts. It will last all day.”

“Oh,” she said. “O-okay. I hope you have a good day.” She added a smile. “And that you have fun.”

He gave her a smile, a real one that surprised Marinette a little, but she couldn’t say that it didn’t make her feel surprisingly warm inside. “Thank you.”

…

“Can I shove them together already?” Plagg grumbled.

Tikki giggled, “I know. Patience is hard.”

Plagg growled. “Adrien’s so close to being ready to pursue her to the ends of the earth again. But it’s hard when Kagami is doting on him at work. Even after twenty-four years, the idiot doesn’t know what a flirt is.”

“Well, as long as he’s not returning it.”

“He’s not. Not purposefully, anyway. He thinks it’s friendly banter. Kagami may not be perceiving it that way.”

Tikki could only roll her eyes. “I’m trusting you to keep him focused.”

“I’m not going to drop the ball when we’re this close. Trust me, Tikki. Soon enough, he’ll have that ring back on his finger, and they’ll be back to being the lovebirds they always were.”

…

Day 22

Adrien had to leave first thing in the morning, so Marinette’s dare consisted of journaling why she loved Adrien in the first place and why she was pursuing him again on top of texting him in the middle of the day “I love you.”

Because she did. Even if he didn’t love her in return, she did love him.

And then, to prove it, she cleaned the house.

She was dusting the master bedroom when she found it: a little card addressed to Adrien wishing him luck as well as the courage to get out of a bad relationship.

Marinette’s heart sank for a second. But the more she stared at it, the hotter a fire burned in her belly. Who the hell was this Kagami and what did she know?

“Tikki!” she shouted.

The little kwami came rushing into the room. “What?”

Marinette waved the card in the air. “Did you know about this?”

Tikki stared at the card, but Marinette continued shouting before she could answer.

“And who the hell is this ‘Kagami’? And why have I never heard of her?”

“She’s the new fencing instructor Adrien hired so he could be freed up to be on the national team.”

All she was seeing was red. The world zoned out, and she could no longer hear Tikki, that is, if she was talking. She only stared at the card with a fury boiling inside her.

“Come on, Tikki,” Marinette growled, marching out of the room.

“Where are you going?”

“To tell this woman to shove this card up her presumptive ass!”

“Marinette, simmer down!”

“Simmer down?!” Marinette challenged. “This woman is telling Adrien that he should end the relationship with me and you expect me to ‘simmer down’?”

“You are not going to drive all the way to the fencing academy to yell at that woman, are you?”

Marinette paused. Tikki had a point: driving to the academy for five minutes didn’t sound appealing. But as she looked at the little red kwami, an idea sparked in her mind that had her feeling pretty smug. “No,” she said. “I’m going to fly there.”

Marinette had the pleasure of seeing Tikki’s eyes widen in shock.

“Tikki, spots on!”

…

It had been a year since she transformed. And while it felt fantastic, it was a painful reminder of how out of shape she’d gotten.

Apparently, she was going to have to run over the rooftops on a daily basis again.

She hit the school and took a moment to catch her breath before she detransformed. Now, card in hand and Tikki hiding in her jacket, Marinette marched into the academy. She had to ask a student where Ms. Tsurugi’s office was, but the moment she found it, Marinette burst through the door and shut it forcefully.

Marinette took a moment to look this woman up and down. She was in a red fencer’s uniform, her hair was short and sleek, and her eyes were sharp. Marinette was loathe to admit Kagami was an attractive woman. Maybe Adrien had a thing for Asian (or half-Asian) females.

“May I help you?” Kagami asked, her voice laced with irritation and expression sharp in warning.

“Yes,” Marinette said, flashing the card in front of Kagami’s face.

The woman’s eyes narrowed at the card before leveling at Marinette.

I’ve faced akumas scarier than you, hussy. If you think I’m scared of you, think again. Marinette cocked her hips and glared back.

“So,” Kagami began. “You’re the problematic girlfriend.”

“Girlfriend?” Marinette repeated, feeling as though she’d gotten hit in the chest.

“You know, you don’t deserve him.”

“Oh?” Marinette challenged, ready to hear just what this woman had to say. “Enlighten me.”

“Adrien’s been walking around for days, miserable because of you. It’s clear on his face he doesn’t want to keep letting you walk all over him. Every time I see him, he looks stressed.”

“And you know that’s because of me?” Marinette challenged.

“Yes. He’s told me so.”

Marinette couldn’t deny how much that hurt.

“So yes, I wrote him that card telling him to get out of a bad relationship,” Kagami continued. “And now you have the audacity to come here and yell at me in my own office. Let me inform you that you don’t own him. And if you care about him whatsoever, you would walk out of his life. He doesn’t deserve to let you hold him back from happiness.”

Marinette bit her cheek before she completely went Ladybug on this woman. She could feel Tikki press her tiny paws against Marinette’s chest, over her heart. Simmer down.

“Well,” Marinette said. “Let me clarify a few things. The first being that you have absolutely no business sticking your nose in this. Absolutely none. The second being that this is something that Adrien and I have to work out without some presumptive woman giving advice to get out instead of fixing it. Thirdly, I actually do have right to Adrien. More so than you.”

Kagami scoffed. “Just because you’re dating him doesn’t mean you have a ‘right’ to him. He deserves to walk out of that relationship and find someone who would actually care about him.”

“I wasn’t finished,” Marinette growled. “Because I have a fourth point to correct you on.”

“And that is.”

“I’m not his girlfriend.” With that, Marinette stuck out her hand, showing off the ruby ring Adrien gave to her. “I’m his wife.”

Kagami’s eyes were wide as she stared at the ring. Marinette watched in satisfaction as Kagami’s face turned pale in an instant. “Which brings me to my first suggestion: Stay. The hell. Away. From my husband. He is mine, and if you think I wouldn’t give the damn world for him, you’re wrong.”

With that, Marinette spun on her heel and marched out the door. She hoped Kagami jumped when she slammed it shut behind her.

…

To say Adrien was exhausted was an understatement. He was only halfway through the day and he was ready to go home and crash after a hot shower. However, for the moment, he was happy to sit down for a break.

“Working hard out there?” Plagg asked from his spot hidden in Adrien’s bag.

“Yeah,” Adrien groaned. “I haven’t worked this hard since I was Chat Noir.”

Plagg smirked. “It’ll whip your lazy butt back into shape.”

“Lazy?!” Adrien hissed

“Oh, don’t deny it. By the way, you got a message.”

Adrien’s brow furrowed. “Don’t change the subject.”

“It’s from your wife.”

Adrien yanked his phone out of the bag faster than he could blink.

“I love you,” read the first message. But then there was a second one.

“I just want you to know that no matter what we’ve been through or what we go though, I love you. I love you to the ends of the earth and back. I can’t wait to see you when you get home and hear about your day.”

Adrien stared at the message with a stupidly sweet smile for the rest of his break.

…

Adrien got home late. The practice ran late and then the head coach of the national team made an announcement and introductions and there was a dinner then by the time Adrien finally got out, there was traffic and construction all the way home.

Adrien grumbled. And here he was hoping that he could have a little quality time with his wife. They had a lot of air to clear, and Adrien knew that it wasn’t going to happen overnight.

Unfortunately, when he got home, Marinette was fast asleep on the couch.

“She’s been running herself into the ground, lately,” Tikki told him. “She wanted to stay up for you, but—”

“It’s okay, Tikki,” he assured, looking at his exhausted wife. “She deserves it.”

Tikki gave him a sweet smile before flying off with Plagg to who-knew-where.

Adrien took a moment to look his wife over, curled up on the couch. He almost got her a blanket, but decided that her bed would be the more comfortable option.

Would he like her to come back into their room? Yes. But he didn’t know if she was ready for that. So, the guest room-slash-her-room-for-way-too-long it was.

He picked her up from the couch, feeling his muscles in his back strain. He must have overworked himself today; she wasn’t that heavy. She had never been.

When he curled her up against his chest, his heart beat wildly. He missed this. He missed the feel of her small body pressed against him. He missed the fierce protectiveness that flooded him when she was here, curled up next to him and safe. He missed…

He missed her being his wife.

And that was his fault.

He snuggled her closer, his heart nearly giving out when she gave a happy sigh in her sleep. He wanted this. He wanted this back.

All too soon, he placed her down on the mattress, making sure her head was comfortably on the pillow before pulling the covers up over her. He took a moment to admire her, his beautiful wife. And when the temptation became too strong, he gave in, pressing a kiss to her temple. “I love you, too,” he whispered. “To the ends of the earth and back.”

[sol1056]

git along little nonnies

Got a whole bunch of you on related themes, so I’m just gonna do this all at once: a bunch of questions about DW, spinoffs, merchandise, business, management, support (and protest) and whatnot. In no particular order.

Ok there are petitions and peaceful boycotts directed at DW but problem is they aren’t addressing the EPs and things they, not DW, did so how are we to sign them, how to handle this when this could at best confuse the situation and not give any results and at worst, make matters even worse about what we want regarding DW addressing things? 

Here’s what companies care about: money. Everything else is gravy.

If you want a corporation to pay attention to your complaints, then you need to figure out their sources of income, and find a way to threaten that. If the social reprobation is high enough, damage to the brand can translate into lost sales, but the tempest required to make that happen must be much, much larger than anything I’ve seen the fandom manage. 

I’ve been saying this all along: voices are far more powerful than signatures. If twenty thousand people wrote or called in, and said what they liked vs what upset them, that would have a far greater impact. Certainly a lot more than a list of names with no emotion beyond a request that may not even be something DW can, or would, fulfill.  

And don’t even get me started on mailing stuff in. Cute, but hardly actionable.  

Do you know what kind of contracts DW sign, as in, are they obligated to air all seasons, can they choose not to air them, do the companies they work with (netflix, wep) have a say or more say than them? Who gets the last word? Is airing all seasons squarely on DW or more? 

As I’m not a corporate lawyer employed by any of the signatories, I can’t tell you what the contract stipulated. What I can tell you is that a contract of the magnitude of the DW-WEP-Netflix agreement probably had a dissertation worth of riders covering the different types of possible defaults or breaches, and the penalties for each. Additionally, the contract also likely covered what constituted ‘satisfactory delivery’ of the product. 

To take it down to a really simple level: you place an order at a restaurant. You expect to get it, eat it, and pay for it. You don’t expect to be told, “hey, we burnt your steak and we’re out of butter for your sweet potatoes, so have some green beans instead,” and then be told you still owe the full amount, anyway. 

Netflix wouldn’t settle for ordering (and paying for) something never delivered, anymore than you would. Sure, any corporation worth their over-inflated stock options would try --- but that’s the point of contracts, to make sure they can’t. 

Netflix paid, DW delivers, end of story.  

 ...do you think ppl in charge didn't think EPs would tell they made changes and also thought they'd manage to bury it? And then they got in trouble and DW is going thru changes for that reason? -waves at DW goings on and silence.

I got lost in all the pronouns, there. Who’s the first ‘they,’ the EPs or DW execs? Is the second ‘they’ referring to the same as the first? So... I’m not really sure what you’re positing, but if the ‘DW is going through changes’ is implying DW’s got a shakeup and/or is promoting its head-of-TV to president and that’s somehow connected to two newbie EPs screwing up?

I’d say the chances are so infinitesimal as to be nearly in the negative. (I should also note, the press release listed successful shows Cohn oversaw, yet oddly did not include VLD.) DW is not a three-person start up; it has stakeholders and a board and a C-suite to satisfy. Cohn got that promotion ‘cause she’s got a track record going back thirty years, most recently growing DW’s TV division from 8 to 800 in five years. 

Most corporations tend to announce their new CEO or President like someone woke up that morning and went, hey, I’ve got a great idea. Truth is, it’s usually in the works for at least a year, sometimes several years, or more. The only thing that has me side-eyeing the announcement is the silence around who’ll fill Cohn’s previous position. 

But that’s again less to do with a single series, and more to do with what it says about DW as a whole, business-wise. 

What meaningful changes could the new president Margie Cohn make that would be different than the last one? Also I'm sorry if your getting a bunch of Voltron/DW questions lately, you just seem to be the most knowledgeable person on this platform.

I’d be willing to bet I’m far from the most knowledgeable person; I’m just someone not bound by an NDA, and curious enough to do a bit of digging and jaded enough to talk about (most) of what I find. 

A president can have immense impact on a company’s direction; that’s kinda why they exist, to set that high-level strategy. That said, Cohn will be bound by all contracts signed by her predecessor. The TV side (barring someone filling the shoes she left) will probably continue as it was. The theatrical side (which she’s taking over) will be where we’ll probably see any major changes. 

And even those aren’t likely to be on films currently in production. Hell, given theatrical animation can take up to five years, I’m not sure that’d show much change, either. Look instead to changes in investors, new deals, and new properties. 

What do you think DW will do about a sequel if there’s really no bible? Theres tons of plot holes & abandoned storylines. VLD will never feel satisfying, and fans already argued with different interpretations based on conflicting content, without a nice satisfying explanation...

I know this is the first of a three-part ask, but I’m skipping the rest because the only answer possible is to your very first question: the bible doesn’t matter. 

Any new series --- even a continuation --- will construct its own bible. Same as we’d do in fandom: they’ll patch together what they can, fill in blanks as they need, and gloss the rest, or retcon it outright. Even if there were a bible, diligently followed, that doesn’t mean the next series is automatically beholden to it. Some franchises would care (ie Star Wars) while others might let a reboot mess with the details (ie Star Trek). 

For every continuation, there’s gradations in between, since otherwise what’s the interest for creative minds, if you’re obligated to follow someone else’s script exactly? So, no. The absence of a story bible doesn’t preclude the next iteration making its own, as it needs, to whatever extent it requires. 

I was wandering around the hot topic online store, and i noticed a shirt that raised a few flags and questions. it's the 'Voltron Location' shirt. it has all the paladins in different places in a star globe chart thing? with what might possibly be planet designations. plus Lance is the only one not inside his blue colored bubble. Keith is in Red and Shiro in Black again. it's interesting at least.

Nearly all the shirts use the same base images, just changed up. It feels a little like someone handed a designer a half-dozen images with a request for forty-something designs --- and now HT is just throwing them all at the wall to see what sticks (or sells). 

HT’s stuff has been pretty consistent, from what I’ve heard: Shiro is Black, Keith is Red, etc. Considering the t-shirts seem to be selling out regularly (along with various other sidelines), I’d say someone is savvy as to the fact that the segment of fandom spending the most money is also the segment that prefers the S1/S2 lineup. 

If that’s what customers want, it’s smart business for DW to provide.

(Yes, that applies on more than one level.)

There are VLD comic books being released by LionForge Comics, are those considered canon? Do LM and JDS have any involvement? They take place before Season 7and8 but I don't wanna support the original EPs.

Every fandom has its own stand on what counts as canon. Sometimes (especially with adaptations) you’ll find fandoms being explicit as to whether they’re book or movie (ie HP and LotR). I expect the same will eventually shake out in VLD’s fandom, too. 

From everything I’ve heard, Hedrick and Iverson were handed the comics and ran with it. I suppose that would argue for seeing the comics as canon, being they were written by people also writing the main series... but from what I can tell, it’s one-way. The show affected the comics, but nothing in the comics ever affected the series.

That said, your purchases have nothing to do with the original EPs. All you’re doing is telling DW you like the VLD-iteration of Voltron.

What are your thoughts on the final vld poster? I feel like it’s missing the end. Allura is randomly staring back into nothing.

It’s a clever idea to do a poster for each season, but it’s not something I’ve ever paid any attention to, really. If it were drawn by the head writer? That might mean the artist had more insight than, say, a storyboarder or animator. But even then... cool picture, still not-canon. I’m only interested in canon.

Do you think that Voltron was rushed purposely by the EP's. [...] Wouldn't this effect the quality of, well, everything? I feel as if they got frustrated with the show at that point and just wanted out.

Dude. There are times I sit here and just stare into space, bewildered yet again not just at the thought of 39 episodes released in one year --- but doing that with 26 as a last-minute cut-and-paste rearrangement. All I can tell you is that what I’ve seen from animation people and aficionados (and friends) is that three full seasons in one calendar year is just bonkers. 

If DW hadn’t wanted the schedule that packed, the EPs aren’t the ones getting the say. That’s a DW-Netflix thing. I really wonder whether DW used VLD as a guinea pig. TH went a year between S1 and S2, and the numbers slumped badly. Perhaps DW wanted to know if more episodes, more often, would keep fan interest high? DW has experienced execs, but they’re all from broadcast; how you arrange and time things in the brave new world of binge-watching is a completely different beast. 

So, it’s possible it was less of a rush job to get the show out, and more from a desire to see what'd happen to release so much, so close together. 

I still think it’s a bonkers schedule, though.

"Relaunch the whole property" sounds like they won't continue expanding the whole vld universe and they'll make a new itineration. Though if they do a spin-off it'd likely be on the vld universe surrounding the new "Legendary Defenders" from the epilogue. And "especially given the response" do you think after the negative response from s8, wouldn't be better for WEP to not keep working with Dreamworks? Or maybe they need to clean their brand from vld fiasco? What can you say about all of this?

I can say you might try re-reading, because boy is that a radical interpretation of the text. Remember, Jeremy was speaking before S8, and all indication is that he was caught off-guard as much as the fans. Re-read in light of Jeremy (at the time) appearing to expect S8 to be a crowd-pleaser.   

...I'm becoming more confident in my belief that DW has something planned for Voltron. I mean they are still heavily promoting the show, LionForge is still publishing Voltron comics, and merchandise is still being made. These don't seem like the actions of a company trying to get people to forget a show. 

You’re not wrong. Up to the last few days of 2018, DW gave every indication they wanted S8 quietly buried. Nothing they’ve done since has fit that pattern --- including the anomaly of failing to announce their 2019 series. Something is going on, that’s for certain. 

Did DW really just throw the VAs to the wolves [for] three days? and there's still no official stance? One panel was enough. They had [the VAs] take the heat for them? But thankfully fans felt sorry for them? Which could also have been the goal, shut the fans up [with] the VAs of the characters who got the worst treatment and who love their characters ... Yes DW this really makes me trust you /sarcasm/

I don’t think that was the original plan. Let’s pretend DW released its 2019 schedule via press release in the first few days of January, and among those was an announcement of a VLD sequel or spinoff, coming late 2019. 

People wouldn’t be fussing over putting the VAs through three panels. They’d be complaining we didn’t get the biggest room for every panel. The majority of the fandom doesn’t trust the EPs, and is wary of DW --- really, the only ones who retain any goodwill, at this point, are the VAs. So who better than to assure a nervous fandom about the goodness of the second iteration than the VAs whose characters were most shafted by the first iteration?

What breaks this is that immediately after S8 dropped, Josh and Kimberly went silent on twitter. AJ slipped into passive-aggressive snarking; Jeremy fell off the radar and usually he’s pretty interactive with his fans. Bex pretty much wiped  VLD from her stream, possibly including deleting older tweets. Neil tried to engage and made a hash of it, bless his heart. 

Josh and Kimberly are consummate professionals who reliably promote the series after every season drop, but their radio silence continued for almost two weeks. This wasn’t the first season that came saddled with controversy; if there was a time to go quiet, it was after S7. Something else was going on. 

I have strong suspicions backed by research, but if I’m right, I’d be stepping on a major legal landmine. In the interest of not getting blown up, I’ll only say that the VAs appearing for those three panels (and their low-key and mostly diplomatic hedging around VLD’s conclusion) was a good sign that all parties involved are willing to work things out.   

[DW was] quick to handle the Season 7 backlash and have stayed mum on what is arguably a much worse reaction to the 8th and final season.

and

I believe the S8 of voltron we got was not the original ending we were supposed to get and highly edited. My question is why? What was the point of changing the original ending? [The] radio silence from DW and the cast is driving me nuts. I wish DW would make a statement.

DW is in an interesting place. Its TV side is barely five years old, but dominated by execs with long-time broadcast experience, predating vibrant interactivity afforded by platforms like twitter, tumblr, or instagram. DW’s background as a theatrical company also seems to incline it away from any ongoing engagement with the audience. It releases a movie and by the time that hits theaters, DW is onto the next thing. 

It’s a strong contrast with production studios like Zagtoon (Miraculous), who penned an open letter to their fandom about production delays. Or little studios like Wonderstorm (The Dragon Prince) whose deft use of twitter and tumblr sets their brand apart. Or Federator (Castlevania), with their witty marketing campaigns and willingness to engage with fans. Even Disney was willing to be open about its errors with Tiana, and to make clear how it was striving to do better --- so there’s no excuse that only small studios do such outreach.

My guess is that DW's core leadership is from the school of business in which admitting a mistake is tantamount to ritual suicide. Don’t blink first, or maybe the rule is never let them see you sweat, but whatever it is, DW is turning into a textbook case of how silence can damage a brand. 

Companies have multiple avenues to reach customers directly, now. Our modern technologies are a two-way street, and good companies leverage that to create not passive fandoms but active communities. It takes work, careful planning, and some level of transparency --- something old-school execs find highly uncomfortable, to be honest --- but in this day and age, those are crucial building-blocks to achieving any kind of audience loyalty.

DW isn’t going to render itself obsolete (at least not overnight), but it's on a track to end up as the studio whose work audiences only watch when there’s nothing better being offered. Unfortunately for DW, there’s a hell of a lot of other studios out there, and they're all offering something better. 

[rkheejin]

‧ ₊ ˚ ♡ the skills challenge performance!          • • • singing be myself by gugudan // 0:09 — 2:03!

     heejin despises the way her heart skips a beat the moment her name is uttered by one of the judges after an almost painful wait, flimsy syllables tossed out without a care in the world as if they hardly held any importance— as if they didn't make her up name, as if it wasn’t the very thing she'd desperately needed them to do. as if it wasn’t the very thing she was absolutely craving to hear. it's weakness she loathed having ( the sudden and intense need for verbal validation ), as if she hadn't already gotten enough of that throughout her short life so far.

     no, she's become well accustomed to the sensation of praise, of meeting highly set standards with relative ease, hard work and a steady drive of determination propelling her towards the stars. it's here, however, now placed on such an imposing stage, eyes of skillfully perfected focus and unpredictability ready to pick her apart without any warning, that heejin can't help but feel her own walls of unwavering confidence finally begin to shake.

     she hates it— knowing now just how terrifyingly easy nerves can be brought on simply by bated silence ( and just how quickly those nerves and can morph into questioning relief the very second good news is given ).

     confirmation of her moving on to the next round only brings newer, more nagging thoughts to the surface. she'd done it— she'd proven herself yet again, a sure sign that she could do this, that she could pull through as she wanted to and secure victory. yet, that also meant the herd had been cut down significantly.

     room for errors and mediocrity would become slimmer and slimmer the longer this went on, all until nothing short of perfection could be given without fear of leaving this whole ordeal empty-handed.

     heejin refused to leave with nothing to show for herself.

                                                                      ♡

     there's little rest to be had, skin anxiously prickling more and more with each passing day, her mind preoccupied with nothing but sing, sing, sing— correct your breathing here, don't let yourself strain at this part, keep yourself as steady as you possibly can. run through after run through, correction after correction, all painstakingly repeated and ingrained in her mind. heejin is rarely home during this period of time, hardly seen by anyone who doesn’t come looking ( or, in some cases, can’t spare the time to break from their own preparations ), her only true opportunities for rest being forced on her by her academic schedules ( even then, tucked far in the back of her classrooms, something she rarely allowed herself to do, her mind is far from her lessons— no, all she can think about is how she could do better, what she needed to do better, all in the hopes of earning another success ).

     it's tiring, so tiring, but she can't stop. she won't let herself.

     it's only the day before she ( and everyone else ) are set to show up and perform that she finally gives herself a moment to properly breathe.

     she feels stiff, far more rigid than she'd like to be, and that's when she knows she needs to pull back, if only for a moment. sat snuggly in one of the secluded practice rooms located in her schools' music department, she simply sits, letting peaceful silence take her over.

     jungeun comes to mind, images of the blonde submerged deeply within her own element while on stage during the first round playing out as if she had seen them earlier that day, and heejin can't help but wonder how her own practice has been coming along— with her phone grasped loosely between small hands, the brunette almost hits the call button. almost.

     it almost feels like a selfish thought, wanting to reach out for someone ( anyone ) who could possibly understand the growing exhaustion burning through her veins. who was she to distract others, though, when she'd done this to herself willingly? this had been her own choice, her own decision— she wouldn't pull for the blondes attention, not now, when her best friend was no doubt working just as hard ( if not harder ) for her own victory.

     no, she had known what this would all entail the minute she'd sent in her application, bright-eyed and determined. she couldn't lose that fire, not this early over something so simple— heejin would figure this out.

     her phone vibrates silently in her hands, catching her off guard, and it's only a moment before she sees what's been sent.

❪ ⤑ ✉ 3 new messages┆🌙💕 ❫

     her lips break out into a gentle smile, tired eyes softening, and suddenly, she doesn't feel as beat up as before. eyes scanning his words, the warmth in her cheeks only grows, but it's pleasant— it's missed. with words so caring, so encouraging, at a time when she felt she needed them most, there's newfound vigor brewing in her body.

     you will be awesome on saturday!

     heejin could do this.

                                                                      ♡

     walking onto set feels as daunting as it had the first time, her face blank ( save for the slight rise of a single brow ) as she lets curious eyes travel the space, taking it all in. the lack of people is noticeable right from the beginning, the area less stuffy with half the amount of original chairs gotten rid of, but that only makes heejin think— one hundred, such a large and strong number, cut down to a mere fifty with ease.

     well, at least she was aware now that she had actual competition.

     out of the corner of her eye, she spots unmistakable blonde hair filtering around the room, and heejin can't help but feel relief once more knowing they'd made it this far together ( just like she knew they would ). tearing her gaze away, she spots faces and silhouettes she's come to familiarize herself a bit more with thanks to the little celebratory outing yuzu had suggested the week before— short black hair recalls memories of pleasant conversation, of a possible friendship she wouldn't mind growing, and heejins legs take her to where ryujin is sat without protest.

     she sits beside the younger girl with a grin, eyes shining with anticipation, and the thought passes by quickly— she wonders what the other has in store for them all today. while it seemed that singers made up the top percentage of contestants ( heejin being included ), the younger girl was grouped in with the dancers at second. while there were certainly others better at that particular skill, she couldn't deny that the other had a certain draw to her. similarly to kyulkyung, whom she'd also made sure to greet as she passed by, she was an entertaining act to watch.

     of course, heejin had her own biases ( she would always sight jungeun as her personal favorite ), but that didn't take away from anyone else. ryujin was talented in her own right— it would be interesting to see her go far.

     it's only once everyone's seated, noises sounding off and startling the brunette slightly, that it's finally time for things to start. unlike the first time, seeing who the judges are doesn’t cause her heart to beat wildly as it had before— now, it’s almost expected. after all, these were the ones who’d be taking the finalists into their companies when this was all over. who better than to pass judgments than them?

     however, general nerves rear their ugly heads, and for a second, heejin can't help but question herself— question others.

     what if she didn't stand out this time? what if she, despite all of the effort and time put into choosing her song and making sure it was perfect, fell short? would anyone going up before her be performing the same song as her? had her music choice in general been a mistake?

     that last question had been one she'd thought of from the very moment she settled on her vocals— the choice had been difficult, but in her eyes, she felt like it was a necessary one to make. it hadn't been lost on her how, up until now, all of her performances had songs of the same caliber. similar vibes, similar emotions, similar technique. sure, they suited her ( at least, she felt they suited her better than anything else ), but she didn't want to grow stale, boring, in others eyes.

     versatility was important no matter the skill.

     so, watching as the first handful of singers go up and perform, her head nodding along to distant beats and rhythms as a way to soothe her own mind, heejin steels herself. there was no room for doubt anymore, not when her name was about to be called. she needed to be sure of herself, confident in her abilities and quality.

❝ CONTESTANT #5013, JEON HEEJIN— PLEASE TAKE THE STAGE. ❞

     reaching for jungeun's hand quickly, she gives it a gentle squeeze, one that's gratefully returned as a sign of encouragement, and heejin rises from her seat. as she walks to the stage, she catches yuri's eyes and lets herself break out into a soft grin, nodding her head in acknowledgment. she would need to talk with the younger girl once it was deliberation time to tell her how good her performance was— well, would be, considering yuri was up after her.

     she had all the faith in the world for her cousin.

     brushing aside shorter strands of hair that weren't held in her low pony, heejin stands tall in center stage, a signature smile on her lips.

     "hello, it's nice to see you all again—" she can't help but joke, a way of squashing any last remnants of nerves in her system, the mic picking up a small laugh as she bows. "i'm jeon heejin and today, while i'll be singing for you once again, i hope to show you a little bit of a more different side of myself. please enjoy this performance just as much as you enjoyed my last performance."

     receiving nods to proceed, she awaits her music queue, ready to begin. her music starts and, immediately, she's heejin is focused.

날 향한 차가운 눈빛 둘러싼 소문만 참 많아 걱정 마 난 강인하니까 사소한 것에 겁내지 않아

더 강하게 ooh ah yeah 더 당당하게 ooh ah yeah 한계를 뛰어넘어 위험해도 좋아 더 색다른 날 보여줄게

     unlike the first episode, she has no props— no guitar to play, nothing as additional help with the intent to enhance her showcase. now, everything is all dependant on her, on her voice and presence, those two factors being the sole reason she'd done so much in preparation. her vocals had to be spot on, carrying their own distinct flare while still delivering the most solid performance she could with the hopes of leaving her audience wanting more, facial expressions and body language all playing a role in only furthering that agenda.

     her voice is clear, strong as it should be for the power the song holds, adlibs starting out smoothly just as she'd practiced countless times. right away, there's an attitude to be seen— nothing to be taken seriously once she's stepped down from the stage, but something to marvel and become immersed with as she sings.

     flicks of her brow, blatant smirks forming here and there between the words that leave her lips, a sense of appeal heejin has only recently felt comfortable projecting. she's always been confident in herself, in her skills and what she's got to show, but this? this is a little different from her normal, a side to herself she'd rarely ever shown, usually in favor of something more soulful and indie.

     hesitance aside, it's an image she likes— it's one she wouldn't mind expanding on.

be yourself 더 이상 망설이지 마 뭐든 네 멋대로 우리에겐 내일은 없어 난 규칙 따윈 몰라 모두가 깜짝 놀라 다쳐도 좋아 바로 지금 do it now

누가 뭐래도 nothing like what i do do do 내가 뭘 해도 good thing ( good thing ) 좀 더 자유롭게 be myself 난 내 멋대로 살래 잘 지켜봐 yeah

     as she comes to the pre-chorus, the tempo a tad slower, it's the perfect chance to show how smooth her tone can be, a dull fire emanating from her as she puts more soul into her performance. with something so pop, it's easy for ones vocals to flatline and become bland, easily overshadowed by synths and overproduction. heejin doesn't want this, no— she wants her voice to hold as much depth and pull to it as it can.

     eyes closing, there's more focus, letting it all build up until the chorus breaks through, and her voice is lighter, rising and falling to hit her notes prettily ( she tosses a wink in at her almost whispered good thing, tone naturally on the huskier side with how lowly it's done ).

     leading into the bridge, that same soulful quality returns, and she moves in time to the song, heel meeting the floor subtly in time to the beat.

내가 결정해 나다운 게 뭔지 oh 눈치 보지 말고 좀 더 자신 있게 나를 보여줄래

고민하지 마 nothing like what i do do do 끌리는 대로 good thing ( good thing ) 너를 표현해봐 be yourself 세상을 너로 칠해 널 보여줘 yeah what you do

     hand on her chest, she's still pleasantly steady in her performance, inhaling away from the mic when she needs to, and she's entering the final stretch. this bridge, mellow, yet still holding a certain sultry quality to it, allows heejin the slight refresher she needs before letting herself peak in the end.

     opening her eyes, she lets her gaze travel around all who watch her, a brow raised in invitation— an invitation to what? to that, she’s not quite sure. praise? criticism? jealousy?

     challenge.

be myself be myself be myself 가장 나답게 위험해 위험해 위험해 be myself be myself be myself 이 밤이 가기 전에 위험해 위험해 위험해

     her voices echoes around the room as she finishes, music ending with her, and all that's left to be heard are her receding breathes as she pulls the mic away from her face.

     it's silly, recalling how worried she'd been the last week— jaehyun had said it himself.

     you will be awesome.

     heejin was awesome.

[myberkeleyadventure]

STORY TIME: Turning Down a Third Date

I know I ramble on and on about this topic of love and relationships, so bear with me.

Recently, I had a second date with a guy who I met off an online dating app. On paper, he seemed amazing. He was tall, intelligent (went to a super highly ranked private university in the US), got his master’s degree in engineering, and was working at a super reputable company. Definitely not a slacker.

Our first date was at an ice cream place. We had matched on the app (Coffee Meets Bagel) a day before, when he suddenly asked if I was free that day (Sunday) to meet. I was apprehensive... did he think this was a casual hook-up? I know you can’t tell and profiles aren’t representative, but his CMB profile really looked wholesome and down-to-earth. I decided to meet with him (with the intention being meeting. No hooking-up) because I realized holding the conversation for 5 more days until the following weekend would be hard. And it was an ice cream place nearby, so why not right?

I got there, he seemed ok cute and friendly. He was definitely wholesome. I ordered a drink, I paid myself, he ordered his drink, and he paid himself. I thought this a little odd because he didn’t at least pretend to offer to pay for my drink (it was just a ice cream shake of $5), and this was clearly a date. I don’t mind paying for myself but I’ll admit, I do like being taken care of on the first date at least, or at least the fake “no no I got this” from the guy is appreciated before he “relents” and lets me pay myself. This was a bit of a yellow flag for me, even though I hate to admit it.

Then, we started talking. Because we only had one day of conversation before, it wasn’t that easy to talk but I tried. He told me he doesn’t use social media much (yellow flag #2 for me because while I don’t use social media obsessively, I do think it’s a nice way to bond with people and connect). He also seemed very passive and didn’t seem like he would be the one to wear the pants in a relationship (yellow flag #3). When I left the date, I was on the fence about him. This whole date gave off “friend vibes” and I wasn’t attracted or feeling ANY chemistry. We didn’t share many common interests, either. But it was a first date, and I thought a second date would help decide. Plus, it is hard to find quality guys on dating apps.

He texted me that same day, saying he had fun and would love to go on another date with me. I agreed and we set up a time and place for the next weekend. From date#1 to date #2, we hardly communicated. I know, we’re both busy career-oriented professionals but still - yellow flag #4.

Come the second date, and I was already dreading it; I had the mentality of “let’s get this over with”. We didn’t have texting chemistry or real life chemistry (yet?), but I knew a second date would make or break my mind.

The second date was similar to the first but it did help me cement the fact that I didn’t think we were a good match. Our personalities just didn’t get along. He was a great person but just not for me. Continuing the trend from the first date, he didn’t offer to pay at all for anything on the second date, even when asked point-blank by the cashier “together or separate?” I hope I’m not blowing this out of proportion and looking like a gold digger. The first date cost $5 and this second date totaled only $10. 

Also, he had just moved to the area for his new job about a month ago and had told me he had no friends or connections really in the area. This is fine, except the fact that it gave way more “friend vibes” to me and I was secretly scared he’d end up being clingy to me. He constantly mentioned the fact how he was trying to make friends or go to meet-ups in the area, which kudos to him, but for some reason, it made me feel like he was trying to use dating as a way to get connections and friends in the area, and not looking at me romantically. Whether warranted or not, this was a personal yellow flag#5 for me.

After our second date, he hugged me (awkward) and said “let’s do this again? see you around?” I had a feeling from the start of the date that I wasn’t going to see him again, and as the date progressed further, I knew it even more confidently. I said “sure, sure” nonchalantly (because how could I say “nah”)?! 

He ended up texting me the following day around 5pm. Sigh, I was hoping he got that I wasn’t interested from the date; honestly, if I felt like no chemistry AT ALL, how did he not? I’m being dense, I know. I decided to reply back and I said “Hey, I have to be honest, I had fun on our dates but I’m not really feeling it. But it was great meeting you and best of luck to you! :)”

You guys, it took me HOURS to find the right wording on reddit and google and asking my friends. How stupid is that?!

Then after sending it to him, I blocked him, deleted the text conversation off my phone, & unmatched him on CMB (so he couldn’t keep tabs on me). A couple of my friends said blocking him was unnecessary because what if he asked me a follow-up question and I’m ignoring him? Oh well. I gave him closure in that I’m no longer interested and I think that’s the most you can ask for in this situation. It was only two dates, not a full-fledged relationship.

Even though I know ghosting is a shitty thing to do to someone, especially when you’ve met them in real-life, I felt also pretty shitty sending him that message. That’s why I blocked him because I didn’t want to deal with the repercussions of sending him the (what was meant to be a courteous text) rejection. But I know what I did was correct (instead of just ghosting him).

Anyway, this whole experience really showed me that I’m not ready to date or wanting to date anymore and my apps are all inactive/deleted now. Good riddance!

[andaleduardo]

Candy Corn Operation

Here’s my entry for @itfandomprompts ‘s promt:  Fall / Halloween I went with a little bit of both Thank you for reading! Opinions are welcomed :) Read on AO3

When Richie’s parents transferred him into a boarding school, he thought the world was about to end.

One of the worst parts, besides the whole thing, was the fact that school only allowed students to go home on the weekends. This meant many things: not having to deal with his parents so much, not seeing his friends most of the time, no studying in the weekends (because they were meant for Losers’ quality time),

and it meant that Richie’s mental stability was running low.

Most of his afternoons were spent in the crowded dorms, or the crowded library, with his only true company being his crowded mind, as per say. He was floating in anxiousness and self-consciousness.

Just three months ago, in Derry’s high school, Richie realised, although now he knows it wasn’t true, that he was finally allowing himself to feel okay in school ground. There was no one, no bully, no student, no teacher or school worker that made him feel the way he did when he was younger. Judged, watched, like anyone who laid eyes on him was looking in disappointment or pity.

Right then? He thought it was all over, there was no bully that made him afraid or itchy. There was no student who he thought was making fun of him just by passing through them on the hallways, maybe because of his odd clothes, or odd glasses, or odd face, for fuck’s sake. There was no teacher who had the power over him to leave Richie feeling like he failed yet another grown up who put faith on his future.

Right then, with the Losers by his side, Richie was finally letting go of a heavy ton of weight from his head and chest. Where it usually hurts.

But look what it took. It took a very nice day to get home and have both your parents waiting for you for the first time since the year started, perhaps, only for them to tell you they were tired of having a nuisance to take care of and deciding that it was better if you just went somewhere else.

Well, they didn’t say that, but Richie knows that’s what they truly think. But it’s fine, it’s not like he cares.

Only that he does, and a lot. Because right now nothing’s the same.

He walks the corridors with his head down, even if there’s no chance that someone will make fun of him for his clothes this time, because everyone wears the school uniform. He stays quiet in classes and hasn’t said a joke ever since he arrived. Because there’s nothing funny about this, and there’s no one to laugh with him.

“Having any good chucks lately?” That’s what he used to say all the time. If he had to answer himself right now…

No, no chucks at all.

He did make ‘friends’ with a couple other students. Brother and sister, perfect for him to hang around without thinking he was third wheeling. But he still decided to be by himself most of the time, just so that they don’t get sick of him too quickly. Like his parents did.

But life goes on, and Richie has grown to learn some things. Things such as the doorman’s shifts, or the suspicious places where there are holes in the fences of the school perimeter. He’s learnt his way to sneak out when he has a schedule gap, and that’s how he’s by the Derry’s high school gate two times a week, waiting for the lunch break to come so that he can see the most important people in his life. He doesn’t even bother with the stupid uniform anymore, Stan will probably tease him forever for the high socks with formal shorts that make him look like a boy’s scout. But all of that is welcomed, he just needs to hear their voices and he will instantly be okay.

Richie’s the one who does the visiting because it’s the logical thing to do. He is only one, they are six. Besides, he’s good at sneaking out of a building that rules against it, and the others wouldn’t even be able to step foot into the school surface without having a bunch of dweebs calling them out to their principal or something.

Today, however, Richie feels even worse.

Today is Halloween, and he is trapped in this dumper of a school. There is no way of getting out today, otherwise he’ll get in trouble for skipping classes and he doesn’t need a reason to be caught up in detention for the weekend. So, he patiently goes through his morning lessons while wishing he could be anywhere but here, really.

When lunch comes around, he leaves the classroom along with 27 other students and drags his feet through the hallways while feeling his stomach’s protests of hunger.

There was a rumour floating around students that the canteen serves holiday themed desserts. So maybe he’ll have some kind of pumpkin flavoured pudding today. Is that even a th- His attention is caught in the middle of crowd. He snaps his head back to that same exact place, searching every single face but finding no one in particular.

There’s a feeling of uncertainty that keeps him company, but Richie partly lets it go and resumes his way to the canteen.

When the line for lunch allows him to, he tries to take a look at the dessert station and sees none other than cookies. Carved pumpkin cookies, ghost cookies, ones that resemble witches’ hats too. And well, he’s certainly not complaining when he shoves four of them into his pocket.

The woman behind the enormous food trays gives him an odd look, but fortunately, Richie is good at making sweet ladies like him.

The thought of Eddie’s mom comes to his mind and he has an urge to laugh, but pushes it down into nothing. Instead, he gives the woman, Julie, a quick smile and an innocent shoulder shrug. Amused, she smiles back and fills his plate of pea rice and chicken a little bit more.

If the others were here, he would have no problems in announcing, with a loud voice, that he would marry this woman someday.

He retreats to his seat that to this day he hopes wasn’t someone else’s and tries to eat as fast as he can. Richie does it so that he can enjoy the school ground without a catastrophic number of students there.

He finishes his food with an hour of lunch to spare, so he makes his way outside while munching on the cookies. The icing is dry ans they’re pretty average, so he assumes they’re store bought.

While walking along the corridors and tapping a hand to the lockered walls, Richie is struck by the same target that caughts his attention. Looking ahead, he sees a smaller figure rounding the end of the hallway, same uniform as his. The back of his head seems way too familiar after years of watching one boy carefully whenever he can.

His heart starts thumping faster as Richie watches the body disappear around the corner. Immediately acting, Richie strides down the almost empty hallway.

For a moment, the neiboult house and the sickly Eddie come to his mind, the one that lured him into that awful room. The one that’s probably luring him right now, maybe somewhere where no one could witness a death.

All Richie can hear is his own heartbeat as he finally curves the last row of lockers. He’s about to start running when suddenly there’s a body colliding with his with enough strenght to send him flying backwards. He grasps the other person’s shoulders just in time to prevent both of them from falling.

“What the actual fuck?” That's what he says.

“Where the hell were you?” That's what the other person asks.

In front of him, wearing the same uniform, is Eddie. The clothes look loose on him. But that is not something he should be worried about right now.

But he’s Richie, so…

“You’re wearing uniform.”

Eddie’s apprehensive face turns into a blank one.

“You do realise that I’m not even supposed to be here, and all you notice is that I’m wearing these stupid clothes?”

Richie looks at him funny, and for a moment, Eddie is afraid that he might have said something he shouldn’t. “I’m- I didn’t mean… to offend you, I-” In a moment of despair, he grips the front part of his hair and exhales soundly, shutting his eyes close in the process. “Today is being so fucking wicked- Look, the clothes are okay, but can we please get out of here?”

In a matter of seconds, Eddie grabs Richie by the forearm and starts guiding him through the school, not even giving him a chance to answer.

Richie, being himself, stares at the way Eddie’s ass moves underneath the beige pants. Yes, pants, that’s the ‘cold-weather-option’. Other than that, he allows himself to be dragged to the nearest exit.

Today is being fucking wicked, alright.

Not only when Eddie starts talking in a spiral of energy and worry, Richie realises he must have said it out loud.

“We called it Spooky Mode Undercover. I told them it was awful, I mean who even thinks it’s acceptable to give such a big name to a secret mission where we’re supposed to be abducting you from this hell hole? My first suggestion, which I still think is way better, was Candy Corn Operation. You know what they told me? I’ll tell you! We’re too old for candy corn! Who the fuck is too old for candy corn?! No wonder we’re called Losers-

“Candy corn operation? That’s the same length as Spooky Mode Undercover, Eds.” They made it past one of the back doors, the cold October air hitting their exposed skin.

Eddie stopped in his tracks and stared off ahead of him, the door closed behind them with a loud noise.  “Well, damn it.”

And just like that, he sprinted off to their right, resuming his story. “Today’s Halloween-

“The hole in the fence was the other way-” He was cut off from speaking when Eddie turned around, almost colliding with Richie, and started walking, as purposefully as before, in the opposite direction.

“So, today’s Halloween and we wanted to spend it with you. I told them that this was a bad idea and that we couldn’t be missing classes, neither can you. But now I’m here, because everyone said they had a great plan and all. I was the plan! They made me go through the stupid hole with Bev and she dragged me to the locker rooms on your gym! Gym, Richie! I thought it would smell less like a dumper since this is a private school, where the hell did I get this idea from, anyway? Well, it stinks just as much and if that wasn’t all, she locked us both in there and made me steal someone’s clothes. Someone else’s clothes! Do you have any idea how much I’m suffering right now? No, of course you don’t, cause you probably love this plan as much as the others!”

 Richie was speechless, and that was saying much. The cookies in his left pocket came to his mind and, using his free hand, he took one out and put it in front of Eddie’s face while they got closer and closer to the hidden exit. “Cookie?”

Eddie eyed it, slightly out of breath and cross eyed from staring so close. “Sure, thanks.”

They were fast approaching their destination, the other Losers already visible from where they’re standing, when Eddie seems to realise something and proceeds to talk with a mouthful, spilling crumbs everywhere. “Wait! I can’t leave with some other guy’s clothes!”

“I’m sure that this guy, whoever he was, is already filling out an assault report with the principal. You really shouldn’t go back to kindly return it, Spaghetti.”

“Are you kidding me? I can’t stay in this filthy thing a second more!”

“We’ll gladly watch you strip, then.” Eddie was surprised that it wasn’t Richie who said it, but Bev, who was on the other side along with the four remaining boys.

Richie’s heart instantly flooded with affection for the group in front of him. Therapy? No, he doesn’t need that. He needs home, and that’s exactly what all of them are to Richie. He watched as Eddie crawled through the gap while blaming everyone for making him go through the school halls alone.

Dazed and happier, he stood there like an idiot, fence between them.

“Richie, baby, you’re drooling.” He snapped his neck to look at Beverly, who as smugly smirking at him.

Stan, who had enough of these reencounter feelings, cut Eddie off in the middle of his bickering.  

“This is very emotional and all, but think of how better it would be if we were in Bill’s living room and not hiding in the middle of bushes waiting for someone to see you sneaking out.”

Bill laughed. “Ye-yeah, that s-sounds nicer.”

When Richie stepped to the other side, Ben hugged him in a crushing force, Mike put an arm over his shoulder and Bev kissed his cheek. Bill said “We’ve missed you.” with a tender smile while Stan replied “Speak for yourself.” But then he offered a smug smirk, and Richie knew it was the best kind of affection he could get from Stan. So he takes it, grateful.

There are some tears threatening to fall at any given moment. They had come for him.

They came to him.

And for the first time in a while, Richie wanted to smile.

 -

 “So… we’re too old for trick or treating, but we’re not too old for this?” Richie was standing in the middle of Bill’s backyard, where seven medium sized pumpkins were laying on the grass.

“Pumpkin carving is great! What’s your point?” Mike asks while already sitting down on the cold ground.

“We’re not puh-pumpkin carving.” Bill states as he exits through the door that connects the kitchen to the backyard.

“We’re not?” Both Richie and Eddie, who already took his time to change into normal clothes, ask in unison.

Bill grins smugly and keeps silent. All of them stare, confused, at him as if waiting for an explanation. The silence was broken when a loud gasp was heard through the backyard. All heads snapped to the sound, only to find Ben covered in pumpkin seeds and guts.

Mike rolled on his side to laugh freely. He had successfully carved an opening in his pumpkin, taking out some of its insides to hit an unfortunate target with them.

“Pumpkin fight!” Bev screamed amused. Her words had an impact on the boys. All of a sudden, everyone was stumbling to get their own pumpkin and messily carve them open. Richie and Stan aimed for the same one, which resulted in a shoulder to shoulder fight until Stan was pushed to the ground and Richie ran away with the orange fruit and a carving utensil.

“Don’t run with knives on your hand, Richie! For fucks’ sake!” Richie ignored Eddie’s commands until he was behind a bush, protected from being hit for the moment.

Meanwhile, Mike had scooped out every pumpkin’s bits off of Ben’s hair so he could keep it for future victims.

Needless to say, thing got messy pretty quickly, plus slippery. Their ammo was pretty low, so besides hitting others with the slimy substance, they also had to pick it up from each other’s clothes, shoes, hairs and the ground itself. Turns out wearing glasses wasn’t really helpful. Richie ended up half blind either way, for he had to remove them near the beginning after Stan took revenge on him for getting pushed. How Stan was actually playing along with getting dirty was still a mystery to him, and probably everyone else, but he wasn’t complaining when he got to watch Bev jump at him towards the ground. Both had ended up spitting out seeds.

 -

 So, keeping the fight for first plan wasn’t the smartest idea. That’s what all of they realise while laying in the ground, exhausted of running around. Their clothes are stained and humid, their hairs… a mess.

“Bill, buddy, I don’t see other option besides you lending us some clothes.” Mike states, slightly out of breath.

With a heavy sigh, Bill gets up to his feet and starts walking towards the kitchen door. “E-Eddie, you t-take Georgie’s, right?”

Richie gave away a light-hearted laugh while Bill was hit in the back of the head for the last time.

 A few ruined towels later and 7 cups of hot chocolate warming cold hands, they found themselves on Bill’s attic.

“My muh-mom will kill me when she ss-sees the laundry basket.”

With a groan, Richie draped a hand over his face. “Wait until I have to go back to that prison, I’ll be in detention for two weekends in a row.”

“And when my mom finds out I skipped school. Oh god…” Eddie spoke this time, worry in his voice.

“Yeah, yeah, we’re all screwed. But we’re all together right now, and we need to enjoy that and worry later.”

“Bev’s right…” Ben murmured after a small silence. Richie chuckled to himself, because, honestly, when isn’t Bev right?

They stayed quiet after this, each of them submerged in their own conflicted thoughts. Bill was still standing up, his previous task to set up the old TV his parents keep up here in the attic was forgotten momentarily. The others were dispersed between a pull-out couch that was able to fit 3 (though sometimes they all squeezed to sit on it), a smaller armchair, where Mike and Stan were squished together, and two bean bag chairs that Richie claimed for Eddie and him.

To break the saddening mood that was taking over them, Bill put the steamy cup down on the floor near his feet and clapped his hand together loudly. “Well, a-any movie suggestions?”

While a discussion took place, Richie stood quiet. After all, he had been quieter than usual ever since the change of schools, but right now the reasons were others. He didn’t want this day to end, didn’t want to go back and have to deal with reality. This, too, was real, but it was a smaller part of his life, while school became a bigger one that took away his will to laugh. Here, among family, Richie decided to tune out their arguments over which movie was best and, instead, soak in the feeling of being wanted. Being part of something.

That’s kind of the point, right? To belong somewhere.

He still remembers when, back in the end of middle school, the Losers decided to use the space of the Denbrough’s attic to create this tiny corner. The environment was cosy, filled with infinite memories of all the afternoons and nights spent in here.

Rainy day? Movie marathon. School break? Movie marathon. Literally any time they don’t know what to do? Movies.

And it was mostly here that they settled to watch them.

The TV belonged to Bill’s parents, it was old, but still functional. It was on top of a small chest of drawers that Stan’s parents were planning on throwing away, the boy quickly gave it a new life by bringing it here. It’s where they keep all the movies the group collectively brought. The couch was Bill’s too. It served as a guest bed from time to time, but Mr. and Mrs. Denbrough have long ended the family invitations, so it provided better use to the kids anyway.

As for the armchair, it was owned by Mike’s grandma. It was stored away in the barn of Mike’s farm, along with many other old belongings, such as the vinyl player and the lamps they also picked up for the space. The lightbulbs were bought with everyone’s shared allowances, and the bean bags were brought in from both Bev and Ben’s houses.

The couch was diagonally situated to the tv, near it were the beanbags, standing in the middle, and on the other side was the armchair.

It wasn’t perfect, but fuck it if they didn’t think so.

 A Nightmare on Elm Street had been playing for 23 minutes, said the timer on the screen. All of them were munching on candies that Bill got his parents to buy so he could give them to trick or treaters. But he took all of them upstarts, already having ignored the four times that someone rang the bell to ask for them.

Richie’s hot chocolate had been finished by the time Bill pressed play, the mug forgotten on the floor beside his seat. On the other hand, Eddie’s cup was still mostly full, and his eyes on the screen seemed a bit lost. Something is wrong. That’s one of the things Richie’s good at figuring out. How to act upon it… not so good.

“Hey, there’s some… stuff, here…” Carefully, he reached out a hand to Eddie’s head. The other boy leans away slightly, expecting Richie to mess up his hair. Instead, he picks up a little pumpkin string and shoves it closely to Eddie’s face. “Wanna have a lil seasoning with ya hot chocolate, Suhr?”

Eddie fully leans his head away while rolling his eyes. With the hand that’s not holding the mug, he swats Richie’s wrist away and murmurs, as not to bother the rest of his friends watching the movie. “Don’t do that, Rich.”

There’s a million Richie-ways he could have answered that, instead, since he wasn’t being himself a lot anyway, he admitted: “Just trynna cheer you up, Eds.”

Undoubtfully, Eddie was taken aback by the sincerity of it. At a loss of words from his part, Richie kept talking.

“What’s going on that head of yours?” His words were mere whispers, even though his friends were most likely hearing their conversation anyway.

Eddie shrugged in response, turned his head to face the screen again. The bell downstairs rang once again. Everyone ignored it.

“It’s just…” He struggled to find words, eyes never leaving the screen. The movie had been playing for 25 minutes. “I don’t like it…” He stated simply.

Now, Richie liked to believe he was at least smart, but not even Ben would know what the fuck Eddie’s talking about.

“Change, that is.” Eddie added finally.

Oh.

And Richie understood. How couldn’t he?

Eddie didn’t like change. Didn’t like the fact that the Losers were missing a voice most days, or that their classes had another vague chair. Their study meets consisted of more studying than joking around, and their lunch table had less sugar in it. Eddie didn’t like that, in the morning, he had to say five greetings instead of six, and that he received one minus greeting in return. He didn’t like it that there were less reasons to laugh about, and that he had more glass cleaning spray in his fannypack, because now it wasn’t needed. He didn’t like that his classes got quieter, and that gym was less fun. Or that his mother smiled more at the dinner table and that he had no one waiting for him in the front of his house in the morning.

Richie didn’t like it, either.

“I know.” That’s what he said, and Eddie shot him a small smile in return. “C’mhere.” Richie stage-whispered while making grabby hands at Eddie, who was suddenly apprehensive at whatever idiocy was about to happen.

Richie turned sideways in his seat and fisted his hands in Eddie’s bean bag, tugging it towards him in a swift motion. Eddie shrieked when his seat was almost taken away from underneath his body and the sudden movement was enough to make him spill hot chocolate, now warm, all over himself. And the floor.

“Fuck! Richie!”

“Oh god! I’m so fucking sorry, Eds!” He managed to squeak out, but immediately after he cracked up in laughs. Everyone was already looking at the mess and blaming him for being careless, so whatever.

“Are you ff-for real, Rich?” Bill got up with a frown. “I a-almost don’t have any clothes l-left!”  But there was not enough air in Richie’s lungs for him to answer, so he tossed his head back in the bean bag, hitting it on the floor with a loud thud.

“Motherfucker, this fucking floor. Shit.” His laughs died down abruptly, hands gripping his head until his knuckles turned white.

Well, Richie’s laughs died down, but everyone else suddenly found it way too funny, besides Eddie, who was still pissed off and trying to restrain his needs to pour the rest of his beverage over Richie’s lap.

Saturated of the whole laundry issue, Bill turned to Eddie with a pointed finger. “You’re getting G-Georgie’s clothes, d-don’t care!”

Snapping out of his trance, Eddie shot up to his feet and started following Bill’s steps towards the staircase.

“Bill, don’t you fucking dare put me in twelve years old’ pyjamas!”

In the middle of his friends’ chuckles, Richie sat there, still grasping his head dramatically. He exhaled loudly.

At least some things never change.

 Please Read: I don’t have a perma taglist, so I’m going to tag my Rooftop tags and ask you if you want to start being tagged for all my works. If you answer me, thank you!

@richietoaster   @rainydayriots   @reddieloves    @thetrashmouthclub   @lemonboi03   @youraverageintroverteliza    @noodleboyshane    @pillsandglasses      @megelizabethvh      @studpuffin      @dandelion-stan      @reddiesetrichie     @squishynonbinarytwink      @itschunky      @burymestanding     @duderrific      @reddie-4-peaches @its-rye @salty-kaspbrak   @youtubequeens   @reddieseggrolls   @addimagination   @20gayteeneds   @pastelstozier @sleepysirenprincess @constantreaderfool

[sunyoonandstars]

BTS Scenario 2.3.: You need distance

Hello! I’m back with the third scenario in the ‘You need distance’-series. I already posted the same scenario a few weeks back for Jin and Yoongi. I’ll upload it for the remaining members as soon as possible! 

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Scenario

You and them are in a committed relationship, but for some reason you confront them about needing space and / or reconsidering your relationship.  

angst / fluff / just a teeny tiny bit of smut

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Thanks for reading! I hope you enjoy it! 

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3. Kim Namjoon

I’m waiting …, you text Kim Namjoon, typing angrily. Since you didn’t get to spend much quality time together lately, the two of you had made plans to meet at your favorite fancy restaurant for a romantic dinner. However, you had been waiting outside by yourself for almost half an hour by now, him nowhere to be seen, not replying to any of your text messages, not answering any of your calls. As usual … You know all too well why your inquiries about his whereabouts go unanswered. Namjoon must still be busy with work, most likely so bound up in writing the lyrics to this new song he and Yoongi are producing together that he isn’t even aware of standing you up right now. Where are you? Are you coming at all?, you send another futile message his way, sighing to yourself. It’s getting darker by the second and you’re shivering from the cold breeze, hugging yourself in the vain effort to contain some body heat. What a waste of time and effort. You had even dressed up for him, rummaged through your closet for hours in order to dig up that tight little black dress you wore to your first official date and that he loved so much on you. Only to freeze to death now, standing in the street all by yourself, looking pathetic. Three guys had already asked you if you wanted company, presumably out of pity, definitely not lightening your mood. Five more minutes, you keep telling yourself. I’ll wait for five more minutes. Maybe he’ll show up. Or at least text me back. Just five more minutes. And those five minutes feel like an eternity. Finally, they’re up. Still no sign of Namjoon. You check your phone and silently shake your head in disappointment. According to the messenger app he hasn’t even opened your texts yet. Eight of them already. Going unread and unanswered for over an hour. And not for the first time. This kind of radio silence is nothing new to you. Dropping off the face of the earth has become a habit of his lately. No, he’s not ignoring you on purpose, you try your best to persuade yourself. He must have lost track of time again. He would never intentionally give you the cold shoulder, that’s not his style. He’s still the sweet, caring, thoughtful and passionate guy you fell in love with almost two years ago. Just a little busier now. Your mind knows, all those things are most likely true, but your heart is a little harder to convince. It twists and aches with doubts. Doubts that have been building up over the course of the last few weeks and months, with Namjoon becoming more and more distant in a way you can’t quite put your finger on. You had long wanted to confront him about it but were reluctant to add to the pressure he was already under because of his responsibility towards BTS and the members, especially the younger ones, with Jungkook and his ambitious, reckless tendencies worrying him these days. But now it’s time. You won’t spend another sleepless night wondering if the man by your side has become weary of you. Okay, I’m leaving, you text him, your fingers stiff from the cold, already on your way to the studio. As expected, you find him there, a ‘Do Not Disturb’ sign hanging from the door handle. When you enter the room Namjoon doesn’t even notice. There he sits, headphones on, poring over a notepad, scribbling feverishly, his chin protruding in concentration. You can’t help but smile at this sight, your doubtful heart being overcome by a well-known, comforting warmth at the realization that this man, this talented, thoughtful, intelligent, beautiful, sexy man is yours – only for a brief moment, however, before you remind yourself why you’re here. Demonstratively you clear your throat, even twice, to make him aware of your presence, however Namjoon doesn’t seem to hear you. So you step up to him from behind, reluctantly touching his shoulder. Instantly, he spins around in his chair, eyes wide with bewilderment. „What the —“, he calls out, taking off his headphones, his loud, full voice echoing from the walls of the small room. He stops in the middle of his sentence, now obviously speechless at the sight of you in your skin tight black dress. „Wow, you look — Wait, were we …?“ You swiftly nod your head, your jaw clenching. His face twisted in disbelief Namjoon takes a quick look at his watch. „Damn, babe! I completely lost track of time! I had no idea it was this late already. Wait — So, our reservation?“ „I waited outside for over an hour. They wouldn’t let me take a seat since you’d made the reservation under your name. And the hostess politely pointed out to me how I’m not the first girl claiming I’m an idol’s secret girlfriend, so there went my credibility …“ „Oh, shit, babe, I’m so, so sorry!“, he exclaims and you can hear in his voice that he truly means it. Biting his lip, he looks up at you, conscience-stricken. „You must’ve been freezing outside. It’s gotten quite chilly.“ Quickly, he extends a hand and places it on your thigh, which is only enveloped in gauzy, transparent tights, to check your temperature. „Damn, your ice-cold! Come here, babe, let me warm you up, hm?“ With one of his strong hands he encircles your slim wrist, trying to pull you onto his lap, stopping, however, at your resistance. Questioningly, he raises an eyebrow. You merely free your arm of his tight grip and take a step back. „I’d rather go home and take a hot shower, Namjoon”, you finally muster up the courage to voice your concerns. “To be honest, I didn’t come here for make-up sex. I wanted to speak my mind bout something that’s been bothering me for a while now.” „Come on, y/n, it’s late and it’s not like I missed our anniversary or something. It was just a dinner. I’m still really, truly sorry I stood you up. But we’re here, now, together, so let’s make the best of it, hmm?“ The famous dimples are showing on his cheeks as he gives you a remorseful smile you are unable to return. He frowns at your cold expression. „It’s not just tonight, Namjoon. We haven’t been the same lately. It’s like you’re not fully present even when we’re together. I can’t shake the feeling that we’re becoming strangers. That you distance yourself from me for some reason I cannot grasp.“ „Babe, we just had shower sex this morning“, he reminds you, raising an eye brow, smiling cheekily. You can feel your face blush at the memory, but quickly shake it off. „That’s not what I meant, Namjoon. Don’t get me wrong, I love you and the way you appreciate my body, the way you make me feel confident and sexy. But lately it’s like that’s all you really do, all you care for anymore. I feel taken for granted, like you don’t put in much effort anymore, knowing that you have me now. You spend all your time at the dorm or the studio, practicing, producing, writing songs, doing videos or keeping an eye on the boys. Hell, I’m sure even the fans get more attention from you than I do!“ A broken, bitter laugh escapes your tightening throat. „Y/n, you know that’s not true“, he says in this low, deep bedroom voice of his that always, without fail, has your legs turn to jelly, even to this day. Right now as well. Nonetheless, you stay strong and pull back as he tries to get a hold of your wrist again. His fingers barely brush against your skin but you can still feel his heat, sending shivers through your body. You have to clear your throat before you can carry on with your speech, your mind set on getting these words off your chest once and for all. „Namjoon, you know I have utmost respect for your investment and hard work when it comes to BTS and your music, I really do. You’re a great and responsible leader and a talented rapper. But I just don’t see any of that attitude or effort in our relationship anymore, you know? It was there in the beginning, I remember it clearly. You used to surprise me with sweet gifts, flowers and crazy dates, and whenever something was on my mind you’d hear me out and we would find a solution together, even if it meant staying up all night. Daily you’d show me new music you had discovered or songs that made you think of me, and we’d read to each other until one of us fell asleep. But to me it seems like all you do these days is come see me to ‚get some‘ whenever you’re in the mood or need a distraction. Those long, deep talks at night or over coffee — we don’t have them anymore. I miss these things, you sharing your thoughts with me. Your mind and thoughtfulness were basically why I fell for you in the first place. And I’d hoped it was similar for you, that you saw more in me than a toned body and a pretty face, and that you’d keep the promises you made in those nights filled with philosophical conversations. That you loved me like no other woman before. And that you’d always be the best man you could be for me. However, lately I can’t help but wonder what’s gonna happen when another clever girl in good shape wearing red Converses comes along, at some fan sign or whatever. Will you abandon me and make those promises to her instead? Am I starting to bore you? Is that it? Am I too mundane for your taste? Do you need someone new, more exiting? Another idol maybe?“ You finally finish your monologue, your voice drowning in tears, while Namjoon simply stares at you, his expression blank. Embarrassed, you wipe away your tears, not caring about your make-up anymore. „I think we should take a break from each other, get some distance to become aware of our true feelings for each other“, you continue, hardly able to keep your voice from cracking. 

Namjoon just stares at you, unmoving, his expression a mystery to you, hardening if you’re not mistaken. „Well, y/n, if that is really how you feel …”, he finally breaks the silence that had descended upon his studio. “If you truly believe all those things you just said, then you might be right. I had no idea I made you feel that way. Maybe some distance would indeed be best for us, to think this through.“ You can’t help but notice the hurt resonating in his voice and the sadness carried within his gaze. They surprise you. You had expected a different reaction, rage even, really anything but this. Instantly, your chest fills up with regret, making it almost impossible for you to breathe. You can hardly bear to look at Namjoons face, its soft features clearly reflecting the impact of your words, his strong shoulders sunken in discouragement. „You should probably leave now, y/n. I still have work to do and your hot shower awaits you at home, as I recall it. I will sleep here tonight.“ The sudden change in his tone feels like a punch to your gut, leaving you breathless, gasping for air, at a loss for words. As you look up, Namjoon’s face has become a stone-cold mask of indifference, seemingly unimpressed by your obvious anguish. Without another word, he turns around in his chair and puts his headphones back on. You do your best to stifle a sob as you turn to leave, Namjoon clearly not having anything left to say to you. As you make your way home, you’re not sure if it were his words or the silence following them that hurt you the most. That night you barely get any sleep at all. Your mind is restless, torturing you, playing your conversation with Namjoon on repeat. Even your body longs for him, missing his skin against yours, the tight hug of his long arms around your waist and his kisses on your neck. In a painful state between sleep and waking you toss and turn all night long, your heart aching in fear of having pushed Namjoon over the edge, of having lost him for good. Until … Still half asleep, you notice a presence, a familiar scent, that brings you back to your senses. When you open your eyes, he is there, right next to you. Namjoon, sitting on the edge of your bed, watching you, a fond smile curving his full lips, revealing his dimples, even visible in the dim light of early dawn falling in through the window. „Did I wake you?“, he asks, his voice low. You shake your head. „I wasn’t even really sleeping.“ „I couldn’t sleep, either. I was up all night, thinking about you, y/n, about what you said.“ „I didn’t mean it like that!“, you quickly cut him off before he can continue, sitting up now, taking his big, soft hands into yours. „I didn’t mean to say you’re superficial, Namjoon. I never believed that for a second! I was just …“ „It’s alright, y/n, sometimes we all say things we don’t actually mean. I, for example, didn’t mean to send you off like that earlier. But I was simply taken aback. And afraid I’d say something even more hurtful if you’d stayed any longer.“ Carefully, he takes a strand of your hair and tugs it behind your ear, then moving on to caressing your face, a longing look in his warm eyes. „I needed some time to myself tonight, even just a few hours“, he goes on to explain. „To clear my head, to try and understand where you were coming from. And, being completely honest with you and myself, I think you were right about most of what you said. It’s true that I haven’t been paying enough attention to you lately, and I’m deeply sorry for making you feel taken for granted, baby. Because you’re simply too good to be taken for granted. Hell, maybe even too good for me. And no woman in this entire world could ever replace you. You are unique and amazing, and I love every single thing about you, not just your body. Sure, you’re beautiful, the most beautiful thing I’ve ever laid eyes on. But when I say that, I’m not just talking about your body. Appearances change over time. In the end, what truly counts are the inner values. And, babe, am I in love with your mind! The way you think, the way you express yourself and see the world … I have never met anyone so observing and caring. So, when I make love to you, it’s not just because I appreciate your hot body or your tight little ass. It’s because I appreciate the whole of you, inside and out. I’m sorry I couldn’t show that.“ Blinking away tears, you nod your head, afraid if you’d raise your voice to reply it would break. Namjoon simply looks down at you, his expression overflowing with affection, both his hands cupping your face now, a sweet smile letting his dimples show once again. The sight lets your heart skip a beat. „So, please, y/n, baby, can you forgive me? Can we try and make it work? I will do better, I will try and be more considerate of your feelings. We both know my busy schedule will make that difficult or even impossible at times, but I’ll try hard and make time for you and keep all my promises, nonetheless. As long as you’re all in, too, I know we can make it. What do you say?“ A single tear now running down your cheek, immediately being brushed away by his soft thumb, you nod your head again, biting your lip to stop it from shaking. „Yes. Yes, Namjoon, I want to make it work! Because I love you, I really do, more than anything. And I don’t want any distance. I realized that now. All I want is to be with you. I’m sorry I wasn’t patient enough.“ „It’s alright, y/n. Don’t blame yourself. Your reaction was perfectly reasonable. It takes two to tango. We were both at fault here.“ He leans in closer, looking you deep in the eye, the tip of his thumb gently tracing the shape of your lower lip. „And I love you, too. You mean more to me than you can imagine, and I’m far too aware of the blessing of having you in my life than to just let you go like that over some stupid argument. I love you and I want nothing more than to be with you. And I’ll continue to fight for us with all that I’ve got.“ In the twilit silence of the early morning hours, Namjoon seals his promise with a soft kiss before he lies down to fall asleep next to you, his strong arms holding you like no one else ever could.

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Hope you liked it and are having a nice day, wherever you are!

Thanks for reading! Take care! 💜

Here you can find my Masterlist if you feel like checking out more of my BTS fiction!

All GIFs used are NOT mine. Credit goes to the initial creators. Thank you for your hard work and dedication.

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