#although i dont want to kill any of them. well that is to say. Yet. ofc. i mean i will if i have to anyway

[imabiscuitinthousandworlds]

playing a ttrpg you completely made up from scratch when literally none of us know the first thing about playing ttrpgs is literally the best thing ever and it's so funny

[lunatic-fandom-space]

You know what its past midnight Im gonna make a post critisising acotar despite never having the read the series, the only book of SJMs ive actually read was crescent city but I spend a lot of time in anti acotar circles bc its fun being a little hater sometimes and I think I know enough by now to atleast critise some of the themes. I definitely know more about this series than I should, like I know about that immortal horse whose horse wife tragically died in horse childbirth and then Im pretty sure he died of horse sadness. And yet, despite cari can read being pretty good at explaining magic shit, I still dont know what the hell syphons are or why illyrians have them or why they matter so you really never stop learning huh

Anyway, I wanted to talk about the misogyny within the universe of acotar because its really bad, both in the sense that its just annoying and insufferable to read about even second-hand and in the sense that its badly written. The thing that inspired this was this short piece of flashfiction by @feynessupremacy about an unnamed girl from the hewn city being married off and having a horrible time living in this endless cycle of misogynistic abuse that her mom is still in and that her dauggters will end up in, all powerless to do anything against this kind of systemic sexism. I thought it was good and made its intended point pretty well but it also made me once again realize how borderline comical this series portrayal of misogyny is

Like, okay, once again, I have not read these books myself but it very much seems like the sexism in this world just materialized in the second book, from the summaries Ive watched it straightup seems like it was just not there in the first book. I mean hell, the entire plot hinges on the fact that Tamlin was sending all these fae disguised as fucked up creatures out so that they would hopefully be killed by a woman so she could break the curse, which implies that women being hunters was pretty normal. (Also, dont come at me with any kind of "oh, it doesnt specify the gender of the person who needs to break the curse a guy couldve done it as well", sjm is too insufferably heteronormative to consider that)

So basically what Im saying is, from my perspective it very much seems like sjm put not only systemic misogyny but like, incredibly violent systemic misogyny to the point where women being brutalized is basically completely normal, in her fantasy series for the sake of making a man look good because hes a wittle sad :( about it sometimes which is honestly pretty funny to me

But it gets even funnier because it doesnt even seem like sexism is really a widespread thing ? Like, i have never seen anyone else directly address this but its all I can think about: in the Nightcourt, the misogyny and institutionalized violence against women is literally the worst it possibly can be with genital mutilation and everything and then in the rest of Prythian its just like, not there. There are plenty of women with political power, the queen of adriada comes to mind first, Im pretty sure I read something about a woman from the wintercourt who was in a similar position of power, its unclear to me what all these fuckin priestesses do because theres no focus on the religion at all much less the institution(s) behind that religion, but they have to have some kind of power if theyre anything like priests in our world (although tbh they seem more like nuns to me functionally just with a diffrent name), especially Ianthe who was like a high priestess and directly in charge of Feyre, who shouldve been the most powerful woman in the springcourt by virtue of being with the high lord, Amren and Mor seem to be well respected outside of the NightCourt, their only deity is the MOTHER. Sure, there arent any "official" High Ladies but if being a High Lord entails being chosen by the magic of the land or The Cauldron or The Mother or whatever other kind of magic bullshit and women just dont get to have it for some reason, is that really indicative of the broader culture being sexist, or is that just God, Who Canonically Exists being sexist? Idk about you, but Im leaning towards the latter option

Thats not even mentioning the mortal lands which seem to be ruled by queens exclusively at the time of the story taking place, or Hybern which had Amarantha and I think her sister as well be these high-ranking generals and it wasnt presented as anything unusual. Like, are you telling me that the kingdom whose only value is "we love slavery, we would like to have slavery back" is more progressive than the court of fuckin Feminist King Rhysand?? I Am Going To Turn Into The Joker

Anyway, I think thats all I have to say, please correct me if I got any of this information wrong I cannot stress enough that I have not read these books and dont plan on reading them anytime soon, atleast not in english because reading the term mate a 1000 times sounds like too much for me to bear, atleast in german theyll probably use a term like "Gefährte/in" which doesnt make me think of actual animals

[v3nusxsky]

Hihi I have a really funky request for a platonic Lady Lesso x Never!student-

A never student sleeps in class a lot and ignores Lady Lesso's warnings multiple times so one day Lesso gets pissed and takes the reader to the doom room-

Lesso demands a reason why the reader sleeps all the time and the student says because she can dream to escape reality-

Thennn Lady Lesso asks her what she dreams about and the student says she dreams about her-

Lady Lesso isnt sure if she wants to know the details but decided to tease the student and asks her about it-

Andddd the reader says she dreams of Lady Lesso killing her parents who are neglective and abusive. [sorry if it's too much haha its my experience u dont have to go into details if u dont want to]-

The answer catches the dean totally off guard and she didnt expect that kind of answer, she thought the student was just another hormonal silly teen ifykyk. And then it's just hurt/comfort and fluff-

My dream world

*Authors note< in such a good mood to write this for you so here you go*

Trigger warning~ swearing abusive parents

Prompt~ see ask*^^

You'd lost count how many times you had napped in Curses and Deathtraps, and how many times Lady Lesso had warned you that this ignorance would not be tolerated. Hell you'd even had a doom room trip, although nothing like what you had heard the stories about. You'd been left all night bound to a chair in darkness, her words roaming your brain "if you can't sleep in your dorm maybe you'll sleep here so you can actually pay attention in my class" yet for you it didn't work.

You continued to sleep where you felt safest, the classroom. And nothing would stop that not even the great Dean of Evil herself. This one particular day you had a double of the lesson which resulted in multiple naps that were disturbed by the crack of her cane on your desk and hissed words of warning. You saw when she snapped, the doom room is where you would be hearing and truthfully you couldn't care less. You needed sleep and if this is how you get it then so be it.

As soon as the lesson ended you were dragged by the arm to the doom room and strapped into that chair once more. Assuming you were alone you let your mind relax. Truthfully you were exhausted and frustrated, why can't she just leave you be! A yawn escaped you, and that's when you heard the tale tale signs of Lady Lesso's cane. Once more you were met with her pissed off look, clearly showing you that you had really bothered her. "Why do you have to be such an insolent child and refuse to pay attention to my very clear and direct warnings." She spat stalling up to you as if you were prey.

She paused for a little wondering if she cared enough to stand here and find out just what was going on or if she should just leave you to sit here. Deciding this needed to stop once and for all she asked the dreaded question. "Why do you sleep in my class?" Her tone was direct and leaving no room for any arguments. "Because I want to escape this" you murmured avoiding her gaze, "my dreams at the only time I feel peace, I can't sleep where I don't feel safe." The information seemed to give her a pause for a few moments. Emotion's flickered through her eyes and you couldn't help but try to understand. "What is it that you dream of?" Her curiosity soaked her words. Perhaps this would give her leverage.

With a sinister smirk you decided to play this game, "you truly want to know, well I dream of all the ways you could murder my parents. Some are intricate and detailed, others are quick and painful maybe even messy. Each way is unique and different and I enjoy seeing just what that twisted evil soul of yours could come up with. After all we are learning from the best here isn't that right Leonora?" You purred her name watching the anger flash over her features. You knew just what buttons to push and you throughly enjoyed pushing them.

"Why in the hell would I kill your parents?" She pondered out loud triggering an outburst from yourself. "Maybe because they are abusive and neglectful assholes who deserve so much more than death by your hands. Maybe you thought I was a mindless puppy drooling over you? But no. I dream of how your twisted mind would torture the bastards that had tortured me for years before I came here." The venom in your words was undeniable and it caused the older women to step back from you. Perhaps you had hit the nail on the head, maybe she wanted to be right and now she knew she was wrong it was hurting her pride?

You would be lying if you said you didn't believe Lady Lesso was attractive. Anyone who stated that would have to be blind. It was a fact you knew she knew. So why feed into it? Yet this side of her, was one you hadn't seen and didn't quite know what to do. She freed you from the chair and stepped forward opening her arms. Why in the hell was she offering to hold you? Yet, affection was something that was usual withheld from you so you took it slowly. When her arms wrapped around you, sobs took over your body as you let out years of pain. She hushed each and every stuttered sentence, her hand stroking your back in a calming and motherly manner. This was definitely not what you thought your doom room trip would be. Yet telling someone allowed you to feel a kind of relief you believed to be impossible. You were safe and warm, and now you didn't feel so alone, your secret was out and maybe one day she would act on your thoughts. Maybe.

Word count ~ 1025

[xamaxenta]

Hi Xam! This is knight/prince AU anon~ Currently stuck inside due to bad weather so I started workshopping an older scenario. Any thoughts or additions I will just consider bonus, because truly I just wanted to share :) Hope you are having a good day!

Roger sends Sabo deep into the wilderness of the kingdom on a task requested by a member of high court. He tells Sabo the task is yet another way someone in power is trying to test his skill, and the best way to shut them down is to return successful. Sabo isn't impressed by this, and the goal to retrieve some old sword isn't very exciting, but Roger manages to pique his interest by promising a (once in a lifetime) reward.

An ancient relic is, according to legend, said to dwell deep within the thickness of the sprawling forests up north. Sabo gets huffy about being forced to go after something that may not even be real, but Roger says all their kingdom's legends stem from truth. It's just that the tales are so old that there is no way to prove what is true and what has become hearsay over time.

He mentions that the relic is a stone sword (And Sabo makes a witty remark about them being up too far north for it to possibly be that legendary sword, which Roger denies, this being a different sword than King Arthur's) that is possibly been imbued with magical power. This magic enchantment is the reason not a single person aside from the sword's original creator has ever laid claim to it. (Maybe Roger says this with such certainty that it's hinted he's gone after the same sword himself? But while he was unable to use it, he believes Sabo with his significant magical prowess will be able to wield it with ease.)

The reward of completing this harrowing quest is the mystical sword itself, so Sabo takes up the challenge and departs with Ace immediately. But, like many of their tasks they have to take up outside of the capital and far out in the wilderness, it's all a ruse to set up an assassination. The two reach the place where the sword is, and Sabo returns from where the weapon rests carrying the hilt of a broken stone blade. It might be an actual "stone" sword but the missing portion of the blade is channeled through imbuing it with mana, or something. It sounds cool in my head for the sharp tip to be a glowing, raw form of mana instead of physical stone the entire way through. So although the stone has eroded over the years, the sword can still be "intact" and at full power when magic is applied.

This is one of those few pivotal times that the script flips and Sabo ends up using the sword's power to protect Ace after they get ambushed. (Well, that, or he could pick up Ace's discarded enchanted sword and show Ace what the power of it is like with the hilt in the hands of a true mage.) Either while Sabo is getting the relic, or after coming back with it (So the ones ambushing them see the proof Sabo has succeeded and plot to take the sword for themselves after killing the two) Ace is overwhelmed, and Sabo steps past him with one of the swords in hand, and says to Ace while Ace can only look up at his back “I told you I was the strongest person in this kingdom, and I intend to prove that as fact.”

And then he swings the sword like a bat or a club and a ranged attack cuts down almost all of their attackers in one fell swoop. Maybe they leave one alive to tell the tale as a warning or maybe it takes little work to kill all of them. Either way, they head back to the capital and Sabo parades around with the relic and then obsessively shuts himself in his office to try and study how it works (It being such old, undocumented magic and all, piques his interest) the end! (:

my god i always have so much awe for the way you craft thoughts and narratives for this au

Its really lovely im

I dont have much to add right now bc i need to reread this about a billion times thank you

Sabo getting to protect Ace is so special 🥰 intending to prove that he’s the strongest in their kingdom and the absolutely brilliant starburst of mana and magic haloing him his hands and his thrumming instrument of channelling between them in the shape of a shattered sword

Its so illustrative and romantic ❤️

[jakowskis]

there r so many things torchwood doesnt bother to explain and i wonder about them. i could make a list but currently im thinking abt carys not killing owen. obvi they just couldnt kill him off but i wish there was an in-universe explanation of why, bc by all means within the context of the episode she shouldve. i once saw someone say its bc hes trans and yanno what ill take it but within what the writers were thinkin themselves i woulda loved an explanation. like maybe the alien in her sniffed him n went 'atrocious vibes No Thanks' FSHJKFD (although that wouldnt make sense bc some of the guys she kills had worse vibes than owen). or maybe an alien had recently splashed some goop on him and it threw his smell off and the sex alien was like 'u smell weird Ew'. or maybe it's tied to whatever shit he's got going on w the weevils??? like i wish there was some kind of canonical explanation. its crazy to me several of the torchwood members have weird shit going on with them and its never explained. gwen n ianto are both mildly psychic. ok, they grew up on the rift and theyre empaths, fine, whatever. wtf's going on w owen. shawty whats ur problem. besides the human mental illness like what are the aliens sensing thts scaring them / making them not want to be near him. maybe it is the mental illness maybe his unmedicated toxic ass is just that scary. the weevils can connect w him telepathically cuz hes been studying them or smth n close proximity n then theyre just scared shitless by all his inner angst bc weevils dont experience shit like that. like imagine being a kinda-animal living comfortably n then u get whammied with the inner turmoil of a dude who feels 500 emotions a minute. i'd whine and growl too. this turned into yet another 'whats the deal w owen n the weevils' rant but oh well. actually i would take that explanation like that one or a few weevils bonded with owen bc he studies them and spends more time with them than any other human n then bc they can all broadcast shit to each other hes familiar to all of them but they also cannot handle the shit hes got going on and then once the whole death thing happens its Worse. fucked up weevil jesus but hes accidentally nuking them w suffering the likes of which theyve never seen. oh i dont know i just dont know

[jackienautism]

hi again!! been a couple days with no update, time got away from me hahah. i've been playing a lot with my brother, playing a bit on my VW playthrough (although i think i'm like. really in it today and will probably play a lot more on my own). i also finally let myself start looking for fic and fanart and stuff a couple of days ago. so happy to say that linhardt finally clicked for me and i really like him now. i liked him before, and he's still somehow my least favorite eagle but. as i've definitely mentioned before i love all of them.

YEAH. idk it really just feels... wrong to pair ingrid with any guy romantically? idk beyond the fact that she is a lesbian To Me (for reasons similar to posts you've rbed and made) even if she weren't it's just like... uniquely nightmarish. especially considering i think the only options i had recruited on that run were. felix and sylvain. and while in spite of myself sylvain really grew on me, and felix is. idk he's fine. like i said her ending up with either of them is kinda.... the worst lol. i didn't even get to the b support with her and felix bc i ended up googling around and seeing general opinions on some potential paired endings i could've gotten on my last run and made the choice to keep ingrid single and intentionally kept her away from both of them lest i got their ending on accident lmao.

hmmm i definitely got the petra and bernie supports as well as the dorothea and bernie supports last playthrough! those two in particular i really wished had an a support. bernie and dorothea especially, their supports were some of my favorites! i only got one with ingrid and dorothea, and i think only one with bernie and ingrid? i know there were a handful with edelgard that i only got to b but that actually had an a support (which i'll def get on my next CF playthrough, if my brother doesn't get them. and probably if he does lol). definitely bernie i only got to b with her, and i think maybe the same with dorothea??? but that might be wrong. i would check but my brother is playing rn LMAO. marianne didn't really have like... any supports with girls who i had on that playthrough which was soooo annoying. i got lysithea after the timeskip but barely used her so i dont think i even got their c support that playthrough?

yeah i would love to recruit hilda but like. the desire to side with edie outweighs my desire to recruit her, especially since i just.... like all the eagles more on average than the lions and like hearing them talk during the story DFSKKF plus you don't have to kill hilda or claude who i also really like. i'll def try that with dedue because i do actually really like him despite like. barely interacting with him so far.

yeah by character perspective i do mean leveling from what like.. makes sense for their character to me! and for battle stuff, before i really knew how supports worked i would like put certain characters together bc i was like "oh this character probably likes being around this one" or "this one feels safer if another character is in front of them, and this one is probably more inclined to pick up on that and get in front of them" so that's how i usually try to play my battles lol. which works out pretty well in terms of supports, i'm just a little more conscious of that now.

update on my brother's playthrough!! he's recruited over half of the lions which is kind of funny to me like. okay dedue and dimitri are unrecruitable but LMFAO im picturing class for the blue lions now that it's just those two and ashe. he's also recruited some of the deer as well (marianne, lysithea and ignatz i think? and he's planning on recruiting leonie too lmao). win for both of us..... he likes bernie now!!!!! we haven't reached the timeskip yet but i think some of her b supports got her to grow on him. i have a feeling he's gonna side with edie, but the biggest thing that might stop him is that he REALLY likes hilda and wants to recruit her. but i think the fact that he likes edie might outweigh that?? here's hoping at least! he also really likes annette a lot. i made him make a tierlist and his favorites right now are annette, petra, edelgard, hilda, lysithea, and caspar, in that order.

this is getting SO long but. as for my playthrough! i finally decided who exactly i wanted to recruit (and recruited them all today!). i decided to get three from each other house, and ended up with caspar, petra and dorothea from the eagles, and sylvain, annette, and ashe from the lions. i was going to get mercedes but after watching my brother get their b support i thought to myself. wouldn't it just be awful if they got that b support and i only recruited one of them. and so that's my plan! i think i'm gonna do the opposite on my next CF playthrough and just get mercedes. i'm really undecided on which paired endings i'm going to get, because i'm enjoying so many of the supports.... almost everyone i have has multiple supports that i'm actually interested in with characters i really like this playthrough! which is great! last playthrough i barely had any interesting ones with marianne. now i've got a team that's basically evenly split by original house, which is really fun (i've been going with my six out of house recruits, hilda, marianne and claude, and byleth, and i've been really enjoying it).

i know i said i really wanted the dorothea and petra paired ending (and i still do), but i'm considering s ranking dorothea myself this playthrough? although i might save that for my next CF run, or if i ever choose to go through with silver snow. i don't really know how all of the paired endings turn out, and i haven't gotten super far into the supports, but i'm liking caspar and ashe's supports so far, and i liked hilda and caspar's first support. if i choose to s support dorothea, i might go with caspar and petra again though? although i've also heard her supports with ashe and claude are good. but if i don't s support dorothea, i'll probably s support claude.... and i might pair him and hilda if i don't?? i'm liking their dynamic so far. although i'm ALSO liking hilda and marianne's supports. i really like annette and lysithea's supports, but sadly those only go to b... once again a loss for a supports between girls everywhere.... sylvain is gonna end up alone this time around for sure because while i do want to get his supports with dorothea again because i enjoyed them, i have like. multiple preferred endings for her lol. and i think the only other person he can get to a with that i have recruited is. byleth. who i also have other options for lol. lorenz is gonna end up alone because i don't like him lol and i don't want a character. raphael and ignatz... idk i like them and so far their most interesting support to me is with each other! so that's probably the route i'm gonna go. although i am enjoying a lot of raphael's supports in general so he's kind of my wildcard rn. as for annette, there are three characters i like who she could potentially get paired endings with? but i haven't seen enough of their supports (or any in some cases) to like. have a solid plan yet. i could probably keep going on but this is already SO long omg!!! basically the point is. i like so many of these characters now and i'm enjoying a lot of the dynamics! hope you're having a good one :)

HIII SO SO SORRY FOR TAKING A WHILE TO RESPOND. I KEPT PUTTING IT OFF AND FORGETTING THAT IT WAS IN MY INBOX 😭😭 SO VERY SORRY AGAIN thats still so awesome that you get to play w/ your brother.... its sooo fun watching others play the game, especially if its a route you're particularly fond of. AND OOOO LOOKING FOR ANY SPECIFIC FICS OR FANART IN PARTICULAR? OR JUST GENERAL FE3H STUFF? either way, have fun w/ that!!! theres sooo much awesome stuff out there. AND YIPPEEE WIN FOR LINHARDT ENJOYERS!!!!!!!! GLAD THAT HES FINALLY CLICKED FOR YOUUUU hes just an autistic dude w/ chronic fatigue and i love him. hes my boy, lvoe him lots

NO FOR REAL!!!!! IM RLY GLAD THAT YOU AGREE AND THA TIM NOT BEING DRAMATIC OR W/E 😭 there's just... theres no way that girl DOESN'T like girls. its just. its so There yk. esp her being like 32234 feet inthe closet. i dont know her endings w/ either felix or sylvain but .... yeah. i dont think i could do either for personal reasons kfkdgg unless, like you said, i get it by chance. YEAH fair enough, in regards to ingrid and felix. their b support is jus t... idk. i know felix is an asshole like thats his whole thing but god. the shit he says to ingrid really infuriates me. i totally agree that it was better to leave ingrid single. the only way to get their endings is if you get their A supports i believe. the only time its random is if you have Multiple A supports from the same character. i could be wrong though

OH THEY DONT HAVE A SUPPORTS? i didnt realize that. i still think that its a waste of time if characters that can support dont have an A one........ its just dumb imo. esp if their C + B supports are rly good and fun, its just. grrrr it makes me so mad. theyall deserve supports post timeskip!!!!! good luck getting the rest of the supports w/ edie! i know off the top of my head that both bernadetta and dorothea have A supports w/ her, which is cool. and yeah ): i dont believe marianne has many supports w/ girls outside the golden deer? IF she even has any? but yeah. i know she has an A support w/ hilda but ofc you cant recruit hilda in CF. lysithea and marianne's supports are ok i guess, they couldve been a looot better. im actually currently writing a fic for like a mock A support between the 2 fdkndfg you said you spared lysithea during the bridge of myrrdin (?) battle right? makes sense why you didnt hav emuch time to get her supports

YEAAH fair enough, i def feel the same dfgndf in terms of wanting to side w/ edie more than anything else. the black eagles are so <3 theyre so fun. i totally agree w/ you there, i love listening to their conversations dgnjfdg they r very silly. andmm righr thats true. i totally forgot you could spare hilda, pretty sure my brother had marianne kill her 😭😭😭 and i like how you can spare claude as well. and yeah :D good luck w/ dedue!!! hopefully my memory serves me right

makes sense! esp since i know the characters do have a like canon path they go down in terms of classes, which im sure you already knew, but if you ever need ideas / inspiration id def check that out! and OOOO THATS A VERY INTERESTING WAY OF GOING ABT BATTLING.... i like that a lot! and like you said im sure thaat helped a bit w/ getting certain supports. thats def not a bad idea . plus its such a cute thing fr ): to think abt what the character would want and feel safer w/.... you are so cool for real

YEAAAAH it is really funny to think abt what the other classrooms look like dkffdg esp after recruiting like their entire class. must be so sad for them </3 happy that hes recruiting a bunch of the characters though... does he know that hes gonna have to most likely fight them in the later half of the game? or is he doing it just cause he likes them? either way, good for him. OOOO ANOTHER WIN FOR BERNIE ENJOYERS YAAAY makes sense that watching more of the supports helped her grow on him... since thats usually where you get the bulk of their personalities and development. I HOPE THATHIS LOVE FOR EDIE OUTWEIGHS THAT.... if it doesnt though i totally understand, he would prob enjoy azure moon since he'll be abl eto recruit hilda, but he also prob wouldnt like going against edelgard so hm. OOO ANNETTE HUH? def a good choice. thank you for making him make a tier list jdfgdg always interested in other ppl's faves. AND LYSITHEA!!!!! YIPPPEEE

NO WORRIES ON IT GETTIGN LONG!!!! I RLY ENJOY READING YOUR THOUGHTS! glad you were able to decide on how youre gonna recruit :D atleast that stress is gone for now. and whose b support did you get w/ mercedes? i assume all three of them? ashe sylvain and annette? regardless, YOURE SOOOO EVIL (lighthearted) FOR ONLY PURPOSELY RECRUITING ONE OF THEM FDKGDFG but then that means more angst and pain and angst an dpain can be super good. esp in this game. mercedes my beloved<3 makes sense that you just get her your next CF playthrough! and so even then you get to separate her from her blue lions (specifically annette) and ): pain. and yeaah it can be pretty difficult to choose which endings you wanna go with. i ended up just getting to A between all the golden deer and letting the game decide for me jfdgnjgd that way you get to enjoy all the supports without feeling pressure to choose just one A support :] but i also understand wanting to pick out the ending youd rather see more... so good luck deciding! and im glad that youve really been enjoying the supports! the supports are usually sooo much fun... and you get to learn more abt the characters which is just awesome. i assunme you mean youve been going out into battle w/ those characters right? thats so epic... have fun w/ them!!!!

THATS WHAY I DID DURING VERDANT WIND!!!!! I S SUPPORTED DOROTHEA AND OUHHHG I LOVE HER SO MUCH..... S supporting claude is ofc also a good choice.. good luck decided on what you wanna do! i suppose once you have that figured out everything else should fall into place in terms of endings and whatnot. i still gotta get those supports you mentioned... glad to hear that youve been enjoying them so far though! i cant say mcuh abt petras supports w/ ashe or claude unfortunately. ive only got petras c support w/ claude and i thought it was funny. but i know that almost all of ashes supports are very sweet, sinc ehes a very sweet guy. a claude and hilda pairing makes sense! their dynamic is certainly interesting fdjgndfg plus i think they complement each other well. hilda and mariannes supports are very good... since you get to see another side of marianne that you dont rly see anywhere else. in terms of clumsiness and whatnot! I HEARD LYSITHEA AND ANNETTE'S ONLG GO TO B!!!!! WHY DOES THIS GAME HATE THE GIRLIES SO MUCH!!!!!!! RIP<//3 yeah far enough for sylvain fdndfgg esp if youu have better ending plans for both dorothea and byleth. YEAH LMAO. LOWKEY FUCK LORENZ but you didnt hear that from me. the only support chain i didnt get of his (of the golden deer) is w/ claude.... and i wont lie going through his supports made me like him a TINY bitmore, but still, hes just. euugh. to me yk. raphael and ignatz def have good supports! i def liked them a lot, i esp enjoyed ignatz and marianne's. once again, good luck figuring out your paired ending plans!!!! i know its been a bit since you sent this in, but still! wish you the best of luck! dont stress yourself too much though :]

STILL SUPER HAPPY THAT YOUVE BEEN ENJOYING THE GAME AND THE CHARACTERS AND THE DYNAMICS SO MUCH HEHE GLAD THAT ME POSTING ABT IT GOT YOU TO GET THEGAME.... HOPE YOU HAVE A GREAT DAY AND WEEK!!! HOPE TO TALK TO YOU SOON

[guesst]

❔❔❔❔❔❔

ask game ❔choose a random wip and talk about it (x6)

well if you insist on 6 whole wips heeheehee

okay first off

because we both like dc i have one (1) single dc wip which is a fairytale au and i cooked it up it quite a while ago with [redacted] in eeby deeby. i started writing it somewhere *rummages in folder* well it’s been quite a while, but i like it a lot still because it ended up fusing a bunch of fairytales together. for example, bruce is the beast from beauty and the beast, dick is snow white — although obviously with no romance: instead it’s his arriving at the ‘beast’s’ house for shelter from the evil huntsman (that guy who killed his parents) and i was planning on some sort of sleeping beauty-goldilocks fusion for jason where he joins bruce and co. just by breaking in and finding the perfect lunch n bed and later falls under a sleeping curse. with jason it also ties in a lot with tim because tim plays a rapunzel in this au — guarded by the same witch that puts the sleeping curse on jason for breaking into his tower. as you can see there is a trend of jason breaking into places and witches putting curses on people. incidentally talia is also a witch and damian is red riding hood. if i did decide to put duke in — though i dont know about him much, so it might be hard — i’d say maybe he’s the goose girl? (because of the ‘we are robin’ thing) or maybe cinderella? it would be interesting either way. anyway thats about the extent of my plan, though ive written a lot less (its just bruces origin story and dick arriving at bruce’s house :p)

here’s a snippet to get you through the rest of this rant

secondly

PURSON FIC PURSON FIC PURSON FIC

im not going to spend a lot of time talking about this one. im pretty sure it’s a character fic. i just spend a lot of time trying to figure out how purson thinks and acts and feels especially in the earlier arcs of iruma. somehow i feel like there’s not enough knowledge in my brain of him and so it feels like he’s too serious and its fun trying to balance his snark and aversion to attention. this wip’s meant to span the manga up until the music festival arc (so, until probably season 4 of iruma?) and yet i havent figured out what im going to write about the harvest festival. on the other hand i started this fic purely because i wanted a reason to write purson making friends with a caretaker that lets him onto the roof so he can become pixie. caretaker has become an oc with a whole backstory, which will probably mever show up in canon, but im still attached to her. yeah

and THIRDLY

iruma again! it’s an amnesia fic!

this one is for panda’s prompt for an ask game which they sent in last year. as you can tell, it is taking a long time. however, i love it a lot because i get to write iruma pre-canon-development (considering he hasnt got any of his memories!!) interacting with azz and clara who are simultaneously attempting to seem like normal humans, and have become his coworkers somehow, and who keep making ‘secretive’ comments about iruma which seem really suspicious to iruma because he keeps hearing them out of context. i have absolutely no clue how to end it, but it’s a lot of fun :D

FOURTH

these speeches are getting shorter and shorter arent they. hm.

OK WHATEVER this one’s iruma again (promise its the last one) nd this time it’s a rarepair that afaik nobody has written! although it’s platomci and not romantic. anyway it’s a childhood friends au with kiriwo amy and urara valac and kiriwo gets to become friends with urara valac because they run into each other a lot — i havent written much for it, again, but i did try outlining and formatting the outline slightly differently and it’s worked pretty well so far, actually! i think the part im most looking forward to writing is the part where kiriwo realises he’s properly stuck with the valacs, and that he doesnt actually care, nor does he really want to see them despair properly. so he grows pretty differently to canon, because canonically, afaik kiriwo’s only proper friend was the one childhood friend whise bracelet he destroys and after that its just demons who dont give a shit because hes too weak. so it’s fun exploring how that would change if he had people like the valacs who are strange and different, and also really caring.

hhhh next is number 5

number five isnt a fic it’s the choose your own adventure ive rambled about a few times. im terms of the routes the mc could take ive changed up the dragons route and also added one called the bakery route, which ive also been thinking of taking back out. let me backtrack a little in case you forgot. the premise is that mc is a kid and has been prophesised to defeat the great dragon. however when the great dragon rises mc is still a little Kid. now the player can make one of two choices: choose to escape this situation (which lends itself to human and orc found families) or choose to fight the dragon (high risk of death but there is a chance you can make friends woth the dragon) . so i added two new characters that might be p important in the dragon route: bel and caelan! bel short for belesis. he’s mc’s village friend and caelan is his sister and they’re both a bit older and more streetwise than mc. and also! i changed up the setting a little bit so it’s hotter and more deserty. when mc discovers the Forest where the great dragon lives they are going to be very shocked at the Wet

FINALLY NUMBER 6 LAST ONE

league theatre troupe au. this is an imaginary wip but its so stupid funny i want to write it so bad. i am planning to when i get the time also do not fear. if u didnt read the conversation it’s that shigaraki talks like shakespeare because afo lived longer than everyone thought (like, since the middle ages) and when he got his face pumched in his brain reverted to shakespeare talk. now when shigaraki got kidnapped by afo at a young age he also started speaking liek afo. this spreads to the league of villaims. everyone now thinks the lov is a theatre troupe and applauds them whenever they appear. they are legally licensed to use quirks in public because everyome thinks they are performing. stain is a big fan and so is present mic. all might asks for shiggy’s autograph at one point. shiggy calls him a knave.

[prismkat]

just out of curiosity are there any semi-noteworthy differences between SYB Dee and Canon Dee byond not being dead? :3

okay, SO, this is something you’ve already pointed out and is pretty obvious, but SYB Dee is a lot more naive and immature than Dee in games. The reason for this is obvious. She’s nowhere near as traumatised. Aside from the loss of Jack that maybe she hasn’t quite unpacked yet, especially with the unexplained puppet transformation that she doesn’t know the full extent of, both because of Arcade’s lies and meticulous question dodging and also not really having met the true Jack, she’s lived a comfortable life with her remaining family.

Right off the bat after her first encounter with William, it’s incredibly apparent that she is way too trusting in this AU, unlike her canon counterpart which is significantly less trusting (although, she’s naive at points. While her blind trust of Fredbear despite his only contribution to saving the kids is killing her brother points to her being too trusting, and the way she is mistrusting of Jack and Dave is super understandable, it’s still evident that SYB Dee is much more gullible than Dee in games.)

That was intentional. I wanted her to be super naive, so people can scream at the screen and go “DONT TRUST THEM WTF” she trusts Henry in the beginning, up until she actually interviews him and realises “hey! What the fuck”. And even though we’ve seen William’s POV and can understand he’s well intentioned, it doesn’t change that he is so obviously suspicious in the beginning, and Dee didn’t see it. Dee hasn’t even seen his interactions with Henry and his nightmares, and she still trusts him. It definitely wasn’t a wise choice when you put together their first few meetings, even though he really did want to help from the start, the red flags implying he knew more than he claimed should have had Dee walking right home.

I have SO much more I can say on the basis of differences between canon and this AU, but those are all for their own posts. I will say, though, that the entire point of this AU is to be different from canon. Dee is way too naive and much more childish than how she is as the puppet. William is a lot more closed off and wary. Arcade is classified, and Jack is always going through SOME sort of emotional turmoil whenever he shows up, despite his struggle to show emotions in game. That’s all intentional. I wanted to show that the truth of what happened to Jack, whatever it may be, has fundamentally changed the timeline down to its very foundations.

Anyway, inbox is always open for SYB!! (I am always repeating this, but i do love answering questions)

[hero-dwelling]

do you think MHA was inspired by Soul Eater? I dont have any direct proof, but the whole "you have a beautiful smile" thing between Toga and Ochako seemed like it was directly aping the Crona Maka scene from the anime sub, without getting why it works, turning it just into yuribait...

I received this question on October 1, 2024, before the finale of the Toga and Ochaco fight aired in the anime. 

And this wouldn’t be me answering a question without being late to the response, rambling in circles for about 25 pages without just getting to the point, and going off on tangents about ten other things bothering me in general instead of just answering the question I got. 

Shorter answer, before I go off on tangents: 

I don’t think Toga’s question to Ochaco about her smile was directly imitating the Crona and Maka scene--or, rather, scenes plural: when Maka offered her hand to Crona in the Kishin Resurrection Arc, when Maka hugged Crona in the desert pit in the anime, or when Maka was cradling a bleeding Crona in the fight against Medusa in the anime. 

I don’t think it’s imitation as I haven’t noticed obvious visual call-backs. As I will emphasize below, the staff are not the same even though Soul Eater and My Hero Academia are from the same studio.

As much as I enjoy Soul Eater, and although enough United States animated series invoke its visuals with obvious homages, I just don’t see much in that series ever being alluded to or imitated directly in Japanese animated series. 

I think any similarities between Maka and Crona and Ochaco and Toga owes to what we see as viewers and the fact that both relationships are pulling from the same general archetype, that being the hero identifying with the villain and reaching out to them, with all the romantic potential that has. 

And, as I’ll emphasize below, I’m not convinced it’s a great comparison as there is more different between the characters and relationships than there is anything in common: Maka is more self-assured and direct, Ochaco tends to waffle, Toga is acting out of self-determination even if she is denying how bad her choices are, Crona is largely without agency or at best so traumatized that they opt for inaction and have to be literally puppeteered by the antagonists because as they say they “can’t deal with this.” 

And I don’t think Ochaco and Toga is yuri-bait. Or, rather, I don’t think the relationship works in canon, and I think the potential is there but not really actualized very well (at least compared to better fan works). And I don’t think it can be “bait” when Toga is canonically attracted to girls and outright is attracted to Ochaco. 

The hinge to reading this as an LGBTQ+ relationship is what Ochaco thinks and wants--and I think her referring to Toga as having the most beautiful smile is so awkwardly placed that it disrupts the very relationship enough of us want to happen--it’s awkward, it’s messy in all the bad ways, it’s not even “tragic yuri” so much as “this really feels like you don’t want to commit to this relationship and are going to kill off Toga so that we don’t have to address what Ochaco meant by calling Toga’s smile ‘beautiful.’” 

It works for discourse, especially as it is Ochaco speaking to “beauty” as being honest with your own desires and what you want to achieve. 

You can definitely read Ochaco as attracted to girls. (Before I get remarks saying, “But she’s attracted to Izuku”: sexuality is fluid, bi and pan people exist, poly is an option, these are teenagers who are not dating yet and still trying to figure out who they are, being attracted to Izuku does not negate the potential for being attracted to anyone else whether with the idea of dating or a committed relationship or a sexual relationship or just the most superficial reaction of “this person is hot but I would never want to date them.”)

But her “beautiful smile” remark clashes with the fact that Ochaoc is not here to romance or date Toga but to first save her and second deal with all the other problems happening in this war and far, far, far down the list, like near the bottom, is being honest with her relationship with Izuku, and this story just hasn’t had it in it to explore poly relationships or even Izuku’s own regard, if any, for Ochaco. 

We’re in the middle of an allegory about what it means to find someone who accepts you, which obviously has romantic tinges to it--but instead of talking about that, we’re going to refer to this as, on the one hand, “yuri bait,” or, on the other hand, “and now kiss.” And I hate both reactions: I hate dismissing this as “yuri bait,” and I hate “and now kiss,” because both feel like it’s taking his complicated scene and reducing it down to having to be cynical about it or obtuse and obvious in shipping--and it doesn’t work for me. This is the start of a potential relationship--the kissing can come much later (and I say that as someone who isn’t big on the Ochaco and Toga ship--but some of you aren’t up for who I think, if anyone, you should pair Ochaco with). 

But, nope, got to kill off Toga, can’t have that, heaven forbid we have any LGBTQ+ characters who survive (Toga, Magne) or are in relationships (seriously, can there be one LGBTQ+ couple in this fucking manga that isn’t just that pair of girls holding arms in the background when Mirio and Izuku are on patrol in the Eri arc?). 

*sigh* 

Okay, now onto the much longer rambling and ranting. 

I haven’t watched the episode Anon is referring to, and as I said another episode aired right after this question. Even though I haven’t watched the entire episodes, I can speak enough based on what little I have seen, what I read in the My Hero Academia manga, and what little I know about the production of Soul Eater and My Hero Academia. 

From what little I’ve seen, I haven’t seen deliberate and obvious visual call-backs to the Soul Eater manga or anime. While Soul Eater and My Hero Academia are both animated by Studio BONES, each one comes from a different studio division and set of directors and animators. 

The context in each case--Maka and Crona, and Toga and Ochaco--is different, if only because the characters and their relationships to each other are entirely different. 

Maka is typically more outgoing and honest with her thoughts than Ochaco. 

Toga, too, while suppressing a lot of what she actually thinks and feels, is definitely more explicit in saying something about why she does what she does, while Crona’s entire characterization initially is summarized by what they say, “I can’t deal with this”: Toga is taking an action, even if it’s not really helping her or what she really wants to do; Crona is about saying everything they don’t want to deal with and having to be compelled to act, or puppeteered by Medusa and Ragnarok to act. 

Maka reaching out to Crona is not because she is finally being honest with herself--that is Ochaco’s thing: reaching out to Toga is about her being honest with her feelings, not suppressing her crush on Izuku, not suppressing any potential or just read-into-by-the-audience attraction to Toga, not suppressing her legitimate worry for Toga despite her being a villain. 

No, Maka reaching out to Crona is all about overlooking what Crona did to her and Soul and trying to help another person. 

That is pretty much what Ochaco does to Toga, but I think it works better with Maka and Crona because it is not weighted down by hundreds of chapters of the story spinning its wheels. Crona stabbed Soul, infecting him with madness; Maka sees what happened to Crona in the past; Maka is not about forgiving Crona but about helping Crona with friendship. 

In contrast, we have to know all of this backstory about Toga, which is either awkwardly told at us or was going to be Curious’s tabloid story, and then have to wait another bunch of chapters for Toga to ask veiled questions to Ochaco that Ochaco is not going to understand, only to then have Toga repeat her life story to Ochaco and hence to the readers as well when we already know all of this, so we can then rush to have Ochaco tell Toga it is alright and that solves everything. 

I can’t believe I’m having to say Ohkubo once again succeeded in spite of himself, but keeping the actions simple and compact makes each action land better: the initial attack, the reversal of Maka’s regard for Crona, and the emotional release of crying with Crona works. 

By contrast, Horikoshi tends to think through every last detail of his story--and it overwhelms the emotional reaction. This is one reason why we have the worst people online screaming that Toga and Shigaraki don’t deserve forgiveness or redemption--because Horikoshi, intentionally or not, opens up those questions. 

Meanwhile, Ohkubo side-steps that reaction to having the debate be not whether Crona deserves forgiveness or redemption but just having Maka befriend them, Lord Death initiates a trial enrollment, and the story moving forward from there. Soul Eater was such a cartoony series that you can accept a silly guy like Lord Death just ignoring everything Crona did and moving on: he does so later ignoring that Maka took out the book she wasn’t supposed to and now Kid is captured by Noah. 

My Hero Academia wants to speak so directly about real-life issues that, despite good intentions, as is inherent with the structure of allegory, it’s hard to make that story still work both as fiction and as a treatise that will convince enough members of the audience. Soul Eater got to be goofy; My Hero Academia was trying to be poignant. 

(Ohkubo then screws all of this up in the manga by having Crona just get brainwashed back into being under Medusa’s thumb, but we’ll ignore that and just appreciate the anime handling that storyline better by still having Crona, by their own choice, commit to following Medusa’s orders before realizing how much they screwed up.)

With all of that rambling out of the way, I’m now going to ramble some context where I’m coming from. 

I haven’t sat through this season of My Hero Academia, if only because I already was disappointed with this final arc in manga format, so I have little interest in watching it animated just to again be disappointed with the same storytelling and characterization choices. 

I don’t want to ignore what I would probably enjoy if I watched: I thought the paneling and artwork was too messy to follow in the manga, whereas enough reviewers said the animation made it easier to follow Ochaco’s movements and Quirk Awakening. 

But I also don’t see much need to sit through an animated version of a storyline that I thought overall didn’t have the setup it needed, had a disappointing payoff, and did a fridging of an LGBTQ+ girl character--but I write all of that as a cishet man, whereas numerous LGBTQ+ viewers, for good reason, appreciate this story as an allegory about not being who you want to be and wishing that someone would reach out to you. 

I guess my complaint is as much about how Toga didn’t get the better ending she deserved, and I don’t think this storyline works as a way to show how things get better when you’re killing off the character who functions as both the allegorical LGBTQ+ character (her compulsion, whether from her Quirk or not, read as having to closet a part of herself) and a literal LGBTQ+ character. 

I’m taking forever writing this, so let me start to wrap things up by including earlier remarks I drafted and then delayed getting to:

It’s not impossible for the crew at My Hero Academia to have been inspired by the Maka and Crona scene, but I don’t see direct evidence to support that conclusion, or even commonality between the two anime in staff beyond both anime being made at the same studio. Episode 39 of Soul Eater, the one with Maka reaching out to Crona, was directed by Takefumi Anzai, written by Megumi Shimizu, and storyboarded by Takuya Igarashi. I haven’t seen any of them working on My Hero Academia. While both Soul Eater and My Hero Academia are made by Studio BONES, they are different crews, so unless I learn that the My Hero crew was inspired by that Crona and Maka moment, I don’t see evidence to suggest that inspiration beyond the similarities that you have identified but, given what you also say, not getting why it worked in Soul Eater and, yeah, I don’t think it works with Toga and Ochaco. 

I’ve been wanting to write about the Ochaco and Toga final encounter since that “cutest smile” moment. But I was waiting until the manga ended--and then I still can’t quite figure out my reaction to the moment. 

I don’t think it’s quite yuri-bait: Toga is already out, so the only bait is whether Ochaco is obviously identified as queer and whether they have a relationship. Seeing as Toga is dead, that throws a relationship out the window. Where I would be willing to call this bait is that the series overall has refused to commit to representing queer relationships. At best there were those two characters during Izuku and Mirio’s patrol that were holding arms that seemed to both be girls, a detail more emphasized in the anime adaptation. But if that is the best I can identify, then either I am missing all the more obvious examples, or this is just tossing bread crumbs to the audience. 

What would make this work is if there were any same sex couples. I get that this story, for a lot of reasons, was not going to have that happen, whether due to persistent homophobia in both Japan and the United States (except, you know, all the other same sex couples that are in notable manga that are in the same genre, have the same popularity, cater to the same age demographic) or because of the realities of superhero work (except there are Pro Heroes who are married and have families: Endeavor is not a good example but we do have Rock Lock). And these points are thrown out the window when the story keeps trying to make Izuku and Ochaco into a couple because, you know, these are high schoolers, of course they will date. And even then the story tries to give in-universe explanations, whether due to personalities (Izuku and Ochaco cannot be honest with themselves) or awkward if believable and even realistic worldbuilding (Camie mentions that her school forbids dating--but, again, between boys and girls, not between boys or between girls--and yeah, Camie probably did mean any dating while pointing out that right now she wants to date Todoroki, but the point still stands). As I said earlier, maybe My Hero Academia would have been better if some of this stuff wasn’t explained, but that’s a whole other discussion about certain comics and their creators who get too fanfic-y in trying to over-explain stuff that doesn’t need to be explained, leave it to the fanfic writers to explain it, not the creator. 

My point is, the yuri-bait accusation--which I think is a bullshit accusation--would be less prevalent if the anime itself had more and more LGBTQ+ relationships so that things don’t feel so straight. 

Speaking as a cishet man, this is my problem of constantly yelling, “Just have your characters be out, why is everything so coded, just let them be out as gay, bi, pan, trans, everything.” 

But my constant yelling is privileged; that take I just had, “add more relationships so things don’t feel so straight,” is not our reality. What I just was yelling is such bullshit to yell about because I’m ignoring that the reason these stories depend on coding is for the same reason people derisively call this stuff “yuri-bait”--it’s this pressure to perform a certain way or, more often, just stay closeted because of patriarchy, homophobia, biphobia, transphobia, all kinds of discrimination and bigotry on the basis of sexuality, sex, and gender. 

It is easy for me, a cishet man, when engaging with this work for just entertainment: that is a lazy engagement. But it is irresponsible for me, a cishet man, to act that way because it makes me a poor ally; it ignores that these stories are speaking to people who are LGBTQ+.

Someone had to point out to me that the same storyline having Toga and Ochaco reaching out to each other in such a romantic or at least romantic-coded way also name-dropped the lesbian vampire story Carmilla. The thing is, while someone pointed that out to me to emphasize how queer this all was, I am still resisting because at the end Toga is still dead and the ending, or rather the fanbase’s reaction to the ending, something the manga cannot control, was fixated on whether Izuku and Ochaco would be a couple only to be disappointed that the confirmation is either vague (adult Ochaco wearing what looks like a version of Izuku’s Pro Hero mask around her neck; Ochaco and Izuku still in high school enjoying a winter evening stroll) or nonexistent (sorry, shippers, but I don’t think the manga ever confirms clearly that Ochaco and Izuku are a couple--this is worse than how badly Soul Eater trolled us who thought we were getting Maka and Soul confirmed explicitly as a couple rather than what we did get that confirms it to me but which is still so ham-fisted as to, again, just be trolling). 

So, at long last, after months of delays on my part, I finally manage to write something about my conflicting feelings about how My Hero Academia handled the Ochaco and Toga relationship, the “most beautiful smile” moment, and killing off Toga and, to top it off, leaving her future romances vaguely defined, which both upsets the shippers and upsets everyone because it reduces her character arc to just who she hooks up like this is a nightmare out of that Louisa May Alcott bio-pic--just fucking super. 

But I don’t want to end this ranting without offering how I would have fixed this. And as usual, I owe a lot of these ideas to getting to talk and plot out story ideas with elliotthezubat, so credit to them for a lot of what follows, both as someone who plotted this or who listened as I offered ideas and bounced them off: 

First, don’t kill Toga. The idea that we need to see how Pro Hero society reforms depends as much on what happens to Villains who are rehabilitated and do re-enter society. We do not have to go with a full “Truth and Reconciliation” approach, but it is silly that no Villains survived to be released from prison. (I guess Gentle and La Brava were supposed to be our example--which, again, just super: someone who was recording videos exposing price gouging and his partner who was editing the videos--yeah, real supervillain criminal behavior there. Come on, Horikoshi--be daring, show us how on Earth Toga and Spinner persist even after what they did.) 

Second, so much of the dialogue between Ochaco and Toga needed to be staged earlier. We needed these two interacting at least two more times--and no, Toga disguised as Camie and Izuku interacting with Ochaco don’t count. So much of Toga’s ranting after Compress died could have been cut and pasted to another fight we could have had earlier--but that would have required a whole new arc to this manga, and I appreciate that Horikoshi wanted to wrap up this manga already. And so much of what Toga says to Ochaco needed to be said earlier in this war arc. It bothers me, for how “grounded in realism” this manga tried to be, that we rush everything into two stupid wars: why did the Pro Heroes think storming the Doctor’s lab was a good idea when all it does is destroy a city and let Shigaraki lose instead of finding a more covert way of infiltration and immediate destruction of the lab, and why did the Pro Heroes think baiting All For One into one last stand was a good idea when that was going to wreck all of UA and let Dabi loose? We need this “war” to be an actual war--that means multiple battles, so have Ochaco face off against Toga between Shigaraki’s release from the Jaku lab and the final battle, then you can more of Ochaco and Toga’s talk be in this intermediary battle. No one is going to process everything these two are yelling at each other in the middle of a fight--that talk-heavy stuff goes in the middle, just structure a fight there for it. 

Third, commit to a Toga and Ochaco relationship or don’t--make up your mind. This is as bad as not committing to Izuku and Ochaco in a relationship: no one walks away happy, so just commit to it or establish that while Ochaco keeps helping Toga that the attraction is one-sided. 

[pink-lemonadefairy]

Hi i forgot to put the 🐙 emoji in my last anon LOL but it’s 🐙!!! (Not sure if u do emoji anons on this acct :p) my favourite classics are honestly ANYTHING by kafka. I am a kafka girl. I love kafka. And then jane austen!! Pride and prejudice 💋💋mr. darcy is the only man ever actually i love when they’re QUIET (emphasis)

I’m pretty open to honestly most classic literature, i’ve been wanting to get some recommendations that aren’t the same authors. Sylvia plath unfortunately doesn’t really do it for me because I’m probably not her target audience but some of her poems/proses are good! I’m currently reading dracula/frankenstein (at the same time lol) and have been loving it so far. The only con about frankenstein is that i bought a tinier version so the words are huddled together and although my ass CAN read it i’d rather the words to be spaced out :-( not sure if it’s a me thing… i’ll just finish the book and see if i would get another version of frankenstein hehe

i also have a little life on hand rn, that is the book I’m especially putting on hold because from what i’ve seen people were Not okay when reading it. Idk about me tho personally i’m not an outwardly emotional person but i’m not heartless so i’ll read it when i can…

I have SOOO many books on my TBR list but i’ve been putting them on hold because i still have a number of books at home that i need to finish…! I wish i could show u a photo because it’s on my notes app lol. This might be a very unpopular opinion but i enjoyed reading murakami’s killing commendatore even though his descriptions of women r nasty. I read his books in a more factual (?) way? If that makes sense. If you have any book/author recommendations do tell me!! Especially female authors 🐙🤍

hi my love 💛 i’m so sorry for the late response :(

omg kafka!! 🥺 i haven’t read any of his works in full yet but i’ve read snippets on pinterest and they’re so so beautiful :( i love the way he writes. do you have any favourite works of his? :O oooh yes pride & prejudice!! the most classic of the classics i feel like lol. YES EXACTLY LOL, men when they’re quiet and don’t talk > 😌

i haven’t read any sylvia plath and tbh i’m not sure if i’d ever pick any of her works up because i’ve lots of bad things about them :( i’m glad you’re enjoying those books though!! :D frankenstein is really great!! >< i think they’re making a live action of it (?) which i’m super excited for !! and ik this isn’t dracula lol but i’m soooooo losing my mind over the new nosferatu movie coming out rahhhh!! it looks amazing :P I TOTALLY GET YOU!! the frankenstein i read in hs was similar and it was seriously a pain to get thru 😭 like why are the letters and words so close together 💔

oh god yeah a little life … ive heard it’s so heartbreaking :( i dont think i’ll be reading it anytime soon lol life is sad enough!! 😞 but people say it’s v well written ! good luck if you ever do get around to reading it 😭💗

ME TOO HELP ☹️ i love buying books but then my tbr just grows and grows and then i don’t even wanna read anymore rip. i definitely know what you mean dw! >< i think something a lot of people tend to forget is that we can (and are supposed to) be critical of authors works, esp those from back in the day! i think the problem is when it’s marketed as something it’s not & people say a work is flawless and perfect when it’s like…not, and even hurts groups of people, etc etc. idk if that makes sense lol but yeah! 😭

hmmm off the top of my head, since you like classics i’m thinking of virginia woolf, toni morrison, and maya angelou! for woolf, i read mrs dalloway (which i LOVED) and a room of ones own for a school assignment. i def recommend those! and for morrison, i read song of solomon which i also really, really loved. beloved by her is also on my list! for maya angelou id definitely recommend and still i rise and letter to my daughter <3 her poems are beautiful too!

i mostly read fiction / fantasy at the moment 😭 if you’re interested in those genres i can give you recs as well ><

[hotdadlicense]

open blorbo season, answer for whoever 🩷💚💙💜💐🌸

loren i love you <3 okay im gonna do maybe daryl and eddie also gonna do jesse pinkman cos i'm currently rewatching breaking bad

🩷 why are they your favorite?

daryls my fav becos i dont even know. he's bitchy he's hotheaded he's a comedian without even trying he tries so fucking hard he's emotional as shit???? i just love him okay i can't even explain it's just how i exist as a person these days

eddie? he's soooooooooooooooooo. so fun. like he's got fucking emotions and he's like well obviously we bury those but then they explode out and he's like well. maybe i can be the most therapised bitch in the bar. he's literally comedy king and he's sooooo good. his heart!!!!! the love he has for his son and for his family and his team!!!!!!!

jesse!!!!!! jesse is literally like. heart of fucking GOLD okay he cares SO MUCH!!!!!!! like it doesn't matter how much walt's fucked him over, the way jesse was so fucking genuinely happy when walt told him he was in remission!!!!!! the way when jesses thinks he loses the drugs and knows that walt will literally kill him, he doesn't lie, doesn't try to hide it, doesn't even pretend for even a second that it's anyone elses fault, he literally calls mr white straight away and is like i fucked up!!!!! i lost it!!!!! it's on me!!!!!!!!! and god. the way literally everyones just like. fucking abandons him and tells him to get his fucking life together but the second he reaches out and asks for help they're like. no. but he never fucking stops trying!!!!!!! this rewatch it ruining me i havn't even reached s3 yet

💚 what are your favorite added rep headcanons for them?

bi daryl obviously. i was gonna be like tragic past but thats not even a headcanon.

eddie = gay. like what he had with shannon was real and he was big in love with her but also. gay.

jesse????? i don't even know. i'm too emotional to even think about that rn. bisexual is always fun though

💙 what's a popular headcanon for them that you adore?

feel like i have headcanons for all these peoiple but now that you're putting me on the spot im like. well my mind is Empty.

💜 'put that guy into situations' or 'take that guy out of situations'?

daryl and eddie = put that guy into situaltions.

jesse = take him out of situations for the love of god he's suffered enough

💐 what are your favorite poly ship(s) for them, if any?

daryl: there is like no fic for it but i do enjoy the idea of rick/daryl/michonne especially in 6.10 where rick and michonne are on the couch and michonnes like. where's daryl. i just think it wouldve been fun if that night went a little differently, although i adore rick/michonne as is ksfhks also ofcourse daryl/jesus/aaron. hell yeah.

eddie: i mean. now that tommy's on the scene....... eddie/buck/tommy lets Go also i've read a eddie/buck/taylor and i was like omg i love it here?

jesse: part of me wants to say jesse/skinny pete/badger but apart of me's like. do i? feel like they're more platonic for me than romantic but like. if someone linked me i would 100% read it.

🌸 what are your favorite mono ship(s) for them, if any?

daryl: daryl x rick, daryl x beth, daryl x connie, daryl x jesus, daryl x aaron, daryl x billy

eddie: eddie x buck

jesse: jesse x andrea

[gutsyjieun]

this is just for me so i'm not trying to fight people with this, i'm simply expressing myself. i am not even gonna tag this post because i'm scared people will just attack me for it. but i am gonna yap more about this because none of my friends are watching the show and i have so much to say, as an avid reylo dislike-r. i enjoy the trope and a lot of my ships have it and yes, some are problematic but never abusive.

that’s literally my issue with reylo. of course i understand how an abusive environment works and i try my best to emphatize with all sides of the story but sometimes a ship is just abusive and it stays that way no matter if we get the different perspectives or not. at least in my opinion.

unfortunately abusive ship has always been kind of associated with the enemies to lovers trope and i think that gave us enjoyers of the trope bad rep too because like, just 'cause i like this dynamic does not mean i am into abusive ships? somehow the dynamic always ends up incredibly toxic one way or another where person A ends up abusing person B whether it's emotionally or physically and people are like 'enemies to lovers!!!' when it's not that at all. it's abuser x victim, disguised as enemies because what else could they be? in my opinion there should always be respect in this relationship as well as understanding and although the chaos and messiness is a part of it too, which makes the whole thing lowkey problematic like 'why would you want two people who want to kill each other ending up together' it should stay balanced with respect and sympathy, maybe even compassion. that's what makes enemies to lovers really good. toxicity of the ship does not mean abuse! it is possible to write two people being toxic to each other without being abusive to each other like those are different things... yes, tension needs to be there but not necessarily 'all i want all the time is to torture you' tension because why would i ship something if one person straight up loathes the other one with no regard to their feelings or the connection between them? at least for me, it is like this! that's what i like about enemies to lovers.

i don't think reylo is that or at least it was meant to be that but executed badly, in my own personal opinion(!), and while we have not had that many oshamir moments yet, i think they are very different than reylo despite what I've seen being said online. like of course they will be compared, the themes are similar/exact but they're still different dynamics.

i think for me the problem was kylo's redemption arc. they only did that so they could explain his connection and “love” for rey which made no sense anyway because he wanted her dead since the start. the only reason he didn't kill her when they met was because he discarded her as just random scum. and then he kept doing that even when he learned how powerful she is. the only difference was he knew he shouldn't kill her bc he could use that power to his benefit.

and qimir obviously has some interest in osha for that reason but instead of, i dont know, torturing her the second she’s defenseless he shows her an act of kindness. at the end of E5. it follows the trope of “villain is the only person caring for the hero when they've been abandoned” which like... i think it shows the sympathy i was talking about lmao.

and for the new episode, all the monologue comparisons lol when kylo said “your parents threw you away like garbage,” key word here btw,  following up with things like “you're weak and no one ever wanted you bc you are worthless and useless and good for nothing” which was kind of the whole thing between them in the first two movies and they kind of tried to salvage it with the last movie but to me, personally, it made no sense because he just kept treating her with no respect or any empathy for what she's been through.

qimir was talking about how osha’s emotions made her stand out and how it made her more powerful and that the jedi felt threatened by her😭 “The Jedi saw that. And they threw you away.” he was building her up and showing understanding to how she feels and offering her a piece of himself, opening up to her. like yeah you can say it's his whole plan to get her on his side and use her for his advantage but the entire difference is in how he does this. he genuinely seems very aware of her power and respects her for it, literally giving her the option to just walk away from him. there's compassion and empathy from both sides.

sigh

really tired of twitter and the fandom there making it all about reylo when some of us just want to enjoy the show without it being credited to a completely other story.

every single scene so far has been quite the opposite of reylo’s scenes although similar in nature. the characters are completely different and they’re allowed to exist on their own terms and as its own thing without being always tied back to reylo. and some of us are allowed to dislike reylo while liking oshamir, so i don’t know why all the hate needs to happen in the first place?

we can argue about it for so long but it’s so exhausting ‘cause it’s just not the same ship. they have the same trope but so far the dynamic has been so different and i want to see content for oshamir alone but some reylos always insert their ship in it and then hate on you if you say they aren’t the same.

[catnherthoughts]

not doing too well 3/6/23

how wonderful my life is. i get to go through all of this all on my own. i don't think i've ever felt this alone before. yes, i can talk to my friends about my issues but at the end of the day they don't care that much. they can't care enough to fix it. it's whatever, we ball i guess. he walks around and goes about his days. i bet he doesn't even think about me. wow. he just used me for sex. he could have just said that. why lie to me? why manipulate me? i don't think you're a good person anymore. i'm not sure i want to be a woman in business anymore. i'm not sure if i want to be a woman in this world anymore. i don't feel the overwhelming urge to keep living. what is the point? we have no clue tbh. no one knows. i don't feel like there is a point in me being here. then again, if i was meant to kms then one of my 8 suicide attempts would have worked. maybe 9th time is a charm. i am simply so sick of being alive. i do not want to do this any longer and i've been saying this for yearsssss now. just because i'm not ruining my life, im passively going through life day by day, i somehow got into college and am sitting in my macroeconomics course with a 3.3 gpa. i haven't done anything wonderful to continue living, i've just been passing by. i say to myself "lets just get through today and then you can sleep" or "just get through this week and then we can have fun this weekend". whatever. i always find myself becoming a bit nihlistic when i feel suicidal. "it doesn't matter" i chant. because it really doesn't. if someone who doesn't really want to live can get this far then does it really matter. i feel like shit, probably look like shit, and I just want to sleep forever. yet, i have midterms to study for. maybe if i fail my midterms i'll kill myself. oooo. yum. maybe i've jsut been letting life slip past me. i've been staying up really late and waking up mid day. weeks go by so quickly. i wonder who i even am anymore. also i'm sick! coping by kissing frat men is not the way to go. i hope they're not counting on me to be larger than live. live is already large enough to exist in. i hope they don't see me as a person who has it all. the perfect woman. take my spot. take my soul. i am disposable to those who know my all. im shaking. maybe its the coffee? who knows. im a cluster of energy walking through the world. maybe the angel prophecy of cat***** ******** created by someone who once loved me is true. she also left. this is a cruel worldd. the punishment i recieve has to be deserved. if im alive to be beaten down then im ready for the final punch. maybe i can be loved in death. my mom loves me? does that count for something. jesus that woman doesn't even know me. im shaking so much. why did i drink coffee? i wanted to be cool and have energy and be the one ppl envy w my dunkin cup. now my tummy hurts. man. i wonder what my therapist will say today. this is kind of a life or death meeting. maybe she'll give me some words of wisdom that will make me think this life is worth living. its either that or i die. i don't really like passing through life. yk being alive its not too fun. i don't like having to do schoolwork. although i kinda like this class. i should've come to this more often. being up before noon is so odd. its 10 am and im fully awake and i'm living. so many different people exist. i don't think a single one of them can love me. i look so bad today. i dont give sexy like usual, im giving depression. i wonder if when he saw me yesterday he knew i was down. i wonder what to do. how do people go on? these scars of this man might always be on me. that's sad. i feel nauseous. I wish i was a better person. maybe then i wouldn't be so sad. if i was like this girl who is sitting in front of me, with an assignment tracker.someone who goes to all of their classes. she also looks pretty. maybe wasting away my life by sleeping until 3 pm is not the best thing. i hope they're not counting on me. god i really hope they're not counting on me.i can barely do this for myself let alone live up to whatever ideals people have.

Tumblr dot com has it out for me i think. what if i wanted to have a fat blob of text? huh? anyways im currently in my class about close relationships along the lifespan and im talking to my roomie about how we've been in a mutual depressive episode. i miss being loved. i had a dream about her and it felt so nice. to kiss. to cuddle. i wonder if i had love if i'd crave it as much as i do in it's absence. the insane hyper fixation i have on it. i could fall in love with many people. its not like im not desired. is it sad that i wonder what he would do if i died. if the worst is true about this relationship, maybe he'll be like lol damn that crazy got the limited edition wap. im sorry. coping. i think i dragged my roomie into my spiral. sorry girlypop. i don't think this is being taken seriously. like yeah my friends know im suicidal but i don;t think they know how serious i am. taylor pyka i don't have a plan to kill myself don't send me away. i miss the gym. i should go to the gym today. is it too much to ask for a boyfriend? maybe. somehow i got reminded of hoodies and went to look for an old text from him. "are you trying to steal my sweaters miss :)". what happened. where did his love for me go? maybe i was just there to pass the time. there is a guy with a very interesting beanie on. he seems like a good man. who knows maybe he also manipulates women? i should not be mean to this random man. he looked back over. who is this man? whatever he doesn't exist. i don't like how im awake. vomiting vomiting vomiting. thinking about how he pushed my hand away that one time. why does he exist. how does he affect my karmic cycle. i miss texting him. he was such a cutie. now he doesn't exist. you will never find the same person twice, not even in the same person. i wonder if anyone has ever had a crush on me. i can't imagine someone thinking of me in a way like this.

those were my thoughts before i went to therapy slay for 3/6

[cynettic]

Stay with Me pt.3

Summary - You manage to escape from Scaramouche, if only for a moment before you realize there’s no escape. It only takes until you’re sitting back in your regular spot that you know what you need to do.

Pairings - Kitsune!Reader x Yan!Scaramouche

Warnings - Suggestive content, mentions of death, swearing, slight gore / blood 

A/N - Its really hard to make this depressing while I’m vibing to Rasputin. Like no joke- I have it on one of the 1 hour playlists :D

Here you’ll find -  pt.1 and pt.2

He’d left a key.

Scaramouche didnt make mistakes, not while he had you captive in the vicinity of his bedroom. He didnt have room for mistakes, not when you were watching his every movement while he was in your line of sight. 

Sure, he mightve killed a person or two in front of you, but those were necessary mistakes. There was a sign on the door, it specified not to enter. You’d understand that, right?

Thats what he thought at least, lulling himself into belief after belief that you’d be there waiting for him every time. That you’d welcome him with open arms, even if there were chains ensnaring your wrists. That you’d accept your fate at his hands and submit yourself to him.

The Balladeer was a fool.

He’d kept you there for too long, and while you searched for an easy way to escape, time sent your head spinning. Into a spiral that begged only for the wind against your face, back laying on dirt with the familiar chirping up birds waking you up in the morning.

You wanted to go outside.

And when push comes to shove, you had to risk a little more to make it happen. Lure him into bed with kisses while your hands unbuttoned his vest. But what he believed to be alluring contacts was just your way of finding the keys hidden in the back pocket of his shorts.

It wasnt hard to find the one to your cuffs while he was asleep, cuddled in your chest with both arms around your waist as if to get you to stay put. You took the key, hiding them back in his clothing and hoping he didnt notice.

He didnt say anything the next day.

You werent going to wait any longer.

“Oh for fucks sake, why won't the goddamn door open?”

The room was left in tatters behind you, a little gift for Scaramouche once he got back. Turns out a pair of chains can smash up a lot of things, and rage can be used as a great source of strength when contained for such a long time.

But you’d done more than throw the blankets around, cut up the drawers and smash open the windows. Because your fists had bled red when you punched through the glass, puncturing your skin. Your knuckles were an ugly red, bruising already.

Ah, Scaramouche deserved a much better gift.

Gruesome as it was, you rubbed your knuckles against the pale walls. Till the blood stopped coming, till there was a nice little message for the boy which you held so dearly to your heart.

‘Balladeer.’

The first time you’d found out about him being a harbinger he’d told you not to call him by that name. You weren’t someone he associated with by work, you were a treasure to him. That’s why you continued to call him as he pleased, although the temptation always arose.

You were no longer his.

Shoving the door with your hand again, palm fiddling with the handle and groaning when it hardly budged. “Stupid,” you grumbled when the knob began to loosen. Backing up, you charged with your shoulder to the door, full force as the momentum broke the hinges. The door fell down with you along with it.

It was expected, you’d been stuck in the room for a long time, and thats considering you’d sat on the ground for decades. Your body was slight numb, muscles sore and unused for so long. 

“You a-arent supposed to leave your room!”

A young man stood in the hallway along with a woman who looked relatively the same age. The two were wearing uniforms, flinching when you stood up from the debris and off the door. “Excuse me?” You asked, voice unnecessarily icy and stern. But you couldnt care less, you were going to get out of this house, damn anyone who stood in your way.

They both continued to shake when you walked towards them, staggering from side to side. The woman stepped up in front of the man, presenting a brave face. “If you leave the mansion, the harbinger will kill us all!”

“Well then I expect you should be on your way then. Actually…” you gestured to the maze of hallways. “You can lead the way.”

“What…?”

Your hand went limp to your side, an exasperated looking momentarily crossing your face before you sighed. “Im not staying trapped in that room, I’m sorry if that ruins your life, but frankly you're not the one stuck in there are you?” You took an extra step just to intimidate them, eyes wide to make the appearance of crazy. “It would be a great help if you showed me where he hid my vision too.”

“We can show you to the door…” The man began, “But the whereabouts of your vision are unknown, he wouldnt tell us something like that.”

A gift bestowed from the gods, a piece to help me thrive with my ambitions and pursue my goals.

Gone.

You really wished you’d taken to clawing out Scaramouche’s face instead, but you’d take what you got. Right now your main priority was getting out of this place, even if it meant leaving a piece of you behind.

“Door.” Your voice was raspy and there was a terrible feeling that crawled up to your throat, but you didnt have time to be emotional. “Show me where the door is… please.”

The conflict in their eyes dissipates by the time they lead you along, mumbling words between themselves. You didnt bother to try eavesdropping, you were so, so tired. You wanted to go home.

Anywhere. Anywhere but here.

It took a few minutes until you were standing in front of a grand door, almost twice the size of you and just as wide. You then began to notice the decorational plants and furniture that filled the empty space, there wasn't an inch of dust. Even though you could tell none of it was used.

“Hurry,” the man warned when you paused. “I dont know when our master is coming back, but if its soon, we’ll all be screwed.”

You couldnt feel your head as you numbly nodded, hand clenching the knob and flinging the set of doors open. “Thank you,” you merely mumbled, taking your first step out of the house in what felt like forever.

The days after that were a blur, the area around Scaramouche’s house were nothing but void. Empty and filled with forests and vast plains. You knew he didnt like people or socializing in general, but to this extent?

Your only option was to run.

Let your feet take you somewhere, anywhere. It was a constant pattern of running and taking breaks, leaning on a tree and gasping in a few breaths before you were again scurrying through the forest. 

And yet you felt better than you’d felt in past months that you’d been stuck with Scaramouche.

Food became any boar you came across, the claws you’d spent so long hiding with Scaramouche coming to unleash a wrath beyond your comprehension. Till the animal was cut to shreds and no meat was left even to eat. You’d slaughtered it, without intention to eat or benefit for it, you’d killed it just to kill.

“I’m sorry,” you’d sobbed into the ground where you’d buried the harmless animal. Forehead pressed into the dirt as you pleaded for forgiveness to whatever archons would accept it. You couldn't even remember what archons you were supposed to pray to. “Forgive me- forgive me…”

But eventually you found your way around to somewhere you knew. Territory of Inazuma where you could find your way back, back home.

Where was home?

You’d been on the run from the vision hunt decree, abandoning your post for the Kitsune Saiguu for such a thing. Even now that you could return without a vision and as no threat under the decree…

You’d sacrificed everything for your vision.

Where were you to go now…?

Rain patted down, the trees providing only a slight cover as stray drops fell into your matted dirty hair. You didnt mind, it hid the tears that slid down your lifeless face, feet taking you into the far meadows of your hometown. Till you plopped down underneath a tree, knees curled to your chest and arms hugging them close. You were crying.

You were home.

____________________

“Awh,” a ginger haired murmured, elbow resting on the cool wood of the tabletop. “Is little Mouchie sad? I heard your kitty cat escaped~”

A death wish, even fatui that idly minded themselves around the bar knew it. Sipping cold drinks and swirling their cups, the soft chatter was nothing but a distraction from the main course of events. That being the smaller Harbinger who sat sulking in his seat, hunched over with a drink in hand. He’d drank far more than what was on the counter, but everytime he finished a glass, he’d smash it on the ground, watching the fragile glass shatter into pieces.

“I dont have a cat,'' was his only response, tone daring Childe to pursue further. To give him a reason to start throwing the glass in his face instead.

And Childe was an idiot when it came to challenging someone.

“No cat?” The rest of the drink in the taller harbinger’s glass was gone when he threw his head back. “Hmmm, I cant think of what else could’ve had you so enraptured in returning home then~!”

Scaramouche didnt respond, uneven bangs shadowing the bags under his eyes. “Stronger,” he said instead, elbow on the counter and hand outstretched for something. When there was no movement from the man managing the wine, the harbinger looked up. “I need something stronger to drink,” he repeated, voice seething.

“Of c-course!”

The glass was nestled in Scaramouche’s palm in no time, fingers curling around the circular form to down it in seconds. The drink merely slid down his throat in one movement, alcohol burning his senses. It didn’t matter, he was numbed by the growing rage inside of him.

Finally, he turned to the ginger haired boy, eyes hazily dancing along the counter till it reached his fingertips. Up his hand and along his arm, till Scaramouche was staring right into Childe’s eyes. “They escaped,” he admitted softly. “But it’s alright, because I sent something that’ll bring them back.”

Childe paused, raising his drink up away from his lips to pose a question. Hesitation danced along his features before he brought the glass back, he’d rather not provoke the shorter male any further. Wasn’t like he could interfere anyway.

____________________

“That… that…” 

It was preposterous, having returned to that same spot for a day or two and heading back to the hometown you’d once lived in. The one Scaramouche had lived in. There shouldn’t have been an issue, you were solely gathering supplies for the sake of it, ambition driving you to travel far far away.

Out of Inazuma.

It was your new beginning, convincing yourself that you didn't need a vision. Finding some sort of purpose before Scaramouche shattered the vision and your life along with it. You’d seen how people had reacted when it had been ingrained in the statue, neutralized and broken. They lost hope, purpose and aspirations for anything new.

It’s not like the Raiden Shogun took my vision.

But you’d taken that fact for granted, expecting some sort of new start without Scaramouche. A victory, getting away from him just for a split second and getting out of Inazuma altogether, you’d never see him again.

Until you got his message.

“How the hell…” You crushed the note until it was just crumbled paper in your hand, slowly leaning on the stone wall. “Piece of shit… what kind of person even…” 

Not only did he manage to find you, but without making his presence known, he’d tugged at your one weakness with an ease that had you down on your knees.

You threw the paper to the ground, deliberate as you stared past the alleyway. Pensive as you considered your options. Damn, what options did you even have? You’d been an idiot to underestimate Scaramouche, he wasn’t a child, you knew that… but archons he seemed like one when he was with you. Shown you a vulnerability he wanted only you to see. But maybe that had been part of his plan all along, until all you believed was his soft demeanor.

He may act like a child, but he’s a harbinger.

You stared down at the crumbled piece of paper in disgust.

Not only that, but he has no regard for human life.

Either way, you’d lived decades more than him. You could face him, you would present yourself to him just as he expected you to. Even when everything in you rejected the idea, sobbed at the thought of returning to that house, those chains. Being locked up and confined only for the purpose of coddling a small boy, a selfish boy, a cruel boy. 

Deep breath in, deep breath out.

You’d figure out a way, and this time you wouldn’t rule out the option of his death.

———————

Oh darling Y/n, how have you been?

I hope this letter reaches you rather soon, we both have much to discuss, no? About me, about you, and much more. You see, I’ve taken up quite a distaste to your little friends. Stone statues in Inazuma as small as Kitsunes truly hold no purpose, what will they do, come back to life? Haha, I should think not. I’ve already arranged to have them demolished, who knows what kind of material they might possess. Ah, and of course I’d show you the finishing product, unless you’re willing to come and have a chat with me once more? Under the Sakura tree like we used to, you’ve waited years, I believe you can wait for me?

I hope this letter reaches you in best interests. I’m always looking out for you after all.

Sincerely, your Balladeer

——————

It was raining.

Beautiful weather as you lay sitting there, feet crossed and tucked in the same you’d often do. After all, there was no need to fear the vision hunt decree or the Raiden Shogun. Let them come, let them take care of you before Scaramouche did.

You werent cold, not when the cold drops dampened your clothing, slipping down the length of your spine and drenching your face. Despite having lived in a luxury residency for such a long time, this was where you were most comfortable, enduring whatever the weather had for you, taking it with a smile. Because you were waiting…

The Kitsune Saiguu was a distant memory.

You were waiting for Scaramouche, the young boy that often bound into the field in lengthy strides, childlike wonder in his eyes. The one who’d cried when the other kids pushed him away, the one that just wanted to be praised. You’d held him in your arms, and now, even knowing the results, you wouldnt have done differently.

He was just a boy.

Just a boy when he joined the fatui, looking for praise that he was given. He created chaos and bellowed orders with a cruelty that was highly looked upon. Told that he was doing well, so he continued to do so.

He’s just a boy.

You wished you’d held him in your arms, if not only for a tad longer. Shield him away from the wrongness of the world, if only for one last time.

Banishing away your hatred for him was hard.

But you found it under the tree, rain soon dimming down to a clouded cold breeze that swept through the meadow. You’d hated him while stuck in the mansion, but you could now see it from a larger point of view. What he did was wrong of course, but you could remember him so vividly now. His small form giggling, tiny arms around your neck. 

“Play with me!”

Was it your fault?

For not holding him tighter? For trying to rectify his bad doings and teach him what was wrong and right? Maybe if your grip was firmer, if you’d spoken to him about the warmth he’d given you that day when playing cards...

“Lazy ass.”

Burying down that pile of worry and insecurities, you took a deep breath in to relax. The edge of your lip perked up, only slightly. “Still terrible with your social skills arent you?”

Slowly securing a dry space under the three with you, Scaramouche sat down. His features were the same ones you’d grown accustomed to at his mansion. Rich clothes, sharp eyes, and the baby face that refused to go away. His movements were soft as he pulled out a deck of cards. The two of you didnt speak as he distributed them between you both. It was tense… no, it felt too much like the warmth form long ago to be tense. You only wished the situation to be different.

“I love you.”

But you could only offer a bitter smile to his words. “I love my vision,” you replied. “I love the Kitsune Saiguu, and I love my friends.”

His touch was gentle when his fingers came to gently cradle your cheek. Holding your face dearly as he peered into your eyes, his were soft. Different from the cruelty he held within, the hatred that burned and destruction that seeked to explode.

You saw a little boy.

Your hand came to press his hand further against your cheek, till you slid his palm to your lips. He appeared so calm when you pressed the first kiss, lips tracing the lines along his palm with all the care in the world.

But you needed to change your view, see him as the man he now was. As the man he had become.

“I love you,” he repeated, and you let go of his hand. It fell limp by his side, cards all but forgotten. There was a much more pressing matter at hand, because you truly needed to see him as he was.

It was necessary if you planned to kill him.

[apriciticreveries]

if it’s alright with you as well then, father and daughter it truly is !

i also offer you smol doodle of a more younger asa after being adopted by kyuno

( sorry, there might be more questions then responses . ! : ( )

small fact, but asa's hair grows extremely slowly . it took years for asa to have the hair length she has now, and kyuno shudders at even a mention of a suggestion in cutting asa’s hair because of how long, and how much work it took to get it to the point it is now .

speaking of the modern au, i wonder what terms asa’s birth has instead ? i honestly don’t really have any main ideas that i actually like, but maybe she’s just a . . accident . unexpected, basically . ( as strangely sad as that sounds )

( im noticing that we’re making a bit of a 2nd generation here ehehe . cinnabar is cas and kyo’s daughter and was actually produced by cas and kyo having a surrogate, and asa is ( maybe ) still nyx’s . as for aurien though, i dont really have anything yet but maybe with solei . though the idea isn’t really developed so its a no so far . )

im a bit surprised, but happy nonetheless that nyx cares for his children ! and yep, its pretty funny lol . I definitely would have expected the both of their reactions to be completely swapped . .

it’s cute, but also tragic of how much nyx would care about his children, knowing they will be taken away eventually . i imagine that the children in general stay with their parents until they can atleast form simple sentences and fend for themselves . maybe 2 - 4 ?

if so, then i think asa would stay around long enough to meet some of her younger siblings . though only as infants, as asa would probably leave soon after more of her siblings are born . by the way, do you think nyx named asa ?

aww noo . . nyx being broken about his children leaving . . ( the inability to consent part is also literally killing me ) doesn’t help that asahi actually was pretty resistant when being taken to kyuno . she actually cried and begged for nyx to not let her go, to not let her be taken away .

she eventually came to understand why he couldn’t do what she wanted him to, when she grew up more, but her own heart is still shattered from the experience . she does have nightmares about it .

yea, id say asa actually holds the memories she still has of her only present parent ( i don’t think the other human that took place in the breeding would be present ? don’t think nyx would want them present though anyway, maybe ), very close . so close that although those memories are from years ago, she can still recall them pretty clearly .

if asa saw nyx again, she’d probably break down in a mix of emotions : ( . .

hey Apri! i just wanted to send this via an ask instead of continuing on that original post you made about Asahi because our discussion is getting extremely long (not something i have a problem with it all! just impractical formatting, you know?)

I’ll admit I don’t know how much of a time difference there is between Alien Stage seasons. That’s why I think five to seven years of age difference is feasible for Asahi and Nyx, even if they are related? But they don’t have to be half siblings, of course not. They could be second cousins or something of that sort, with their parents being cousins. Or Asahi could be Nyx’s niece, if that age difference makes more sense, or they could be directly related insofar as father and daughter. Nyx probably graduated at 16-17? so Oryon could have had him have kids in that time frame. Your call, Apri :) hope you’re doing well!

sorry im responding late . . eugh . . i think i went outside right before you asked this . . why does my timing suck so baaaaaaad . . * claws aggressively at walls *

but yep ! i understand ! i was actually scrolling through my posts earlier today, and to be honest, the thread was taking up a lot of space . .

i think the time gap would be . . 7 to 9 years ? that’s just me looking at the age gap between luka and the others though, so im not completely sure too .

though it is probably multiple years since anakt probably needs a lot of time to prepare and practically train and teach each batch of new contestants for the competition !

although the father and daughter connection, to me personally, is the most interesting, i would feel really bad for nyxie : ( . . he’s like cas, practically still a child and already being used for . . that stuff . it’s sad . but i am most interested in this concept . . as . . depressing for nyxie it is . .

i do wonder how nyxie would feel about this, though . . also wonder how he would feel letting asa go or seeing her being taken away by kyuno after being purchased purely on her looks . . speaking of looks, i wonder if oryon would specifically breed nyx and another human to get asa’s appearance .

i think asahi should be one of his earlier litters ? ( if oryon does multiple, which just sucks ) maybe she was even his first child, like cinna to cas . and as a result, they have a smaller age gap of maybe 6 to 8 ?

though im personally completely open to discuss this more, and for you to change any of that ! i really value your opinions, and especially on this since nyxie is yours ! thank you by the way ! i hope your doing equally as well, if not better ! stay safe and healthy !

( random side note : . . what if dian also had a daughter and that daughter meets asahi and they’re the same ages and they become not friends but enemies and— naur . )

[themrsackerman]

Angel of Paradis

Pairing: Levi Ackerman x Reader

Warnings: Spoilers from Season 4. Mentions of gun violence, blood, death

A/N: Now I know EP8 is only the beginning of the end but goddamn it hurts!! I love potato girl and losing her just tore me to bits. So here, take this. Its my way of coping I guess..

Levi is pissed off. From the start, he disliked the plan but it wasn't like Eren gave you all much of a choice. So the moment the kid got on the airship, he was welcomed with one of the captain's infamous kicks. The cockpit wall quakes with the impact and Hange sighs, shooting you a look. "I think you need to get out there and make sure Levi doesn't kill Eren, Y/n." She says exasperatedly and you nod, rising from your seat next to Onyankopon.

"I'll be right back." You say and she flashes you a knowing grin, shaking her head slightly. Even the commander knows you're the only one who could reign in the Levi Ackerman.

You see Levi on the corner glaring at Eren as he was being tied up. You sigh heavily, seeing Eren steaming as he heals. Jaw probably unhinged from the captain's kick. You sat beside him on the bench and pulled out a handkerchief, wiping his face clean from dirt and blood.

"Y/n-san." He greets you monotonously and you gave him a kind smile. "Hey, kid." You greet back, tucking loose strands of his now long hair behind his ear.

Your heart aches at the sight. He used to have so much fire, had the same will to fight for humanity that you only ever saw in your mentor, Erwin. Now all you see is ember of pure hatred and cold blooded need for revenge. "I'm glad you're okay." You murmur. Eren's blank stare softens for a second and a small smile hints the corner of his mouth. "Glad to see you too, Lieutenant." He says quietly and out of the corner of your eyes, you see Levi roll his eyes and make a disgruntled sound as he turns around.

You walk up to him and placed a hand on his shoulder. Levi meets your gaze with his dull gray ones for a second and sighs, his expression softening too. At this you smile a little and say, "We still have a long battle to fight ahead of us, Captain. Things might not have gone smoothly, but we won today." You remind him and as if proving your point, right on the other side of the ship you hear the soldiers celebrate as they reunite.

"You're right." He agrees. Levi then takes a deep breath and grabs the hand you placed on his shoulder so he can bring it to his face. He turns his head and placed a chaste kiss on your palm. Your heart flutters at the gesture. It isn't grand but was still something you couldn't quite get used to. You two never declared your love for one another, never really had the luxury of time or chance to do so, but small acts like this was enough to let you know that your presence provided him the calm he sorely needs. And that was all you want. Be his peace in this war.

"I'm going to check if the rest of the squad made it back up." You tell him, grazing your thumb on his lower lip and he reluctantly lets you go. "Be back as soon as you can. Meeting will start as soon as this fucking monkey heals enough." He says, cold glare flashing at the other Jaeger who is a pile of steam still laying on the ground. "Okay, I'll just check on Lima's squad. They're the last ones to be picked up supposedly." Levi nods again and watches you leave before turning to talk to Yelena.

You smile past Floch and the other soldiers who are weeping, hugging and making their tributes for those whom had fallen in battle. You then saw three of the soldiers you've grown close with through the years. They were huddled in the corner, sharing a hug.

You hear Jean say in protest, "Dont hug people with that lump ass iron gear on.", while shrugging off Connie's arm. You chuckle at this and tackled him back to the embrace. "Shut the hell up, Jean. I would take Connie's armored hugs any day!" To which the trio whines out, " Lieutenant Y/l/n!!" when you squished them tight.

Although the new gear designed by Hange was in deed not made for hugging, you four relaxed in the uncomfortable embrace. Grounded by the fact that you all made it safe despite the battle you had just gone through. Connie and Sasha smile up at you while Jean tries to still look annoyed, although the softness in his eyes says otherwise.

The soldiers left below start coming in and the cheering just grows even louder. You didn't have the heart to stop them because you yourself are quite happy that today was a success despite some casualties. Now, you have the War Hammer titan as well and were able to destroy the fleet. Now, the Eldians' chance stands higher against this damn war.

"Did you hear that just now?"

Sasha asks out of the blue and you turn to her in wonder. Honestly you couldn't hear anything but the soldiers celebrating. But out of the lot of you, you know Sasha's sense of hearing is far superior than all of you combined. So you take a step back from the crowd and actually looked around.

"Hey, quiet down!!"Jean yells over the chanting but Floch shouts, "Make some noise! Victory!!!" And was echoed by the rest as they embraced and pumped their fists in the air.

"Hey!" Jean tries again only to be pulled by Connie to the side to ask, "Isn't Lobov-san still out there?"

"No, I think he came aboard." Jean says thoughtfully and this was when something didn't sit quite right with you. Commander Lobov is a man that is hard to miss. And with his dedication to this mission to make up for his years being a useless garrison, he would be amongst the soldiers cheering the loudest for the said victory.

Your instincts has never failed you before and its the very reason why you are so good at your job and able to survive this long. But sometimes, you wish that your instincts aren't always right because you always perceive danger. And right now, every fiber of your being is telling you something is fucking wrong.

That if you were to look out the airship right now, you'll probably see the commander lifeless.

Or worse, an enemy may have made its way up to the ship.

Your blood runs cold for a split second before you acted purely out of instinct. You shove Sasha to the side, dreading as you head for the airship's side door and at the exact moment.. someone aboards.

Your gaze met the kid's muddy brown ones. It was determined, filled with fury and you saw that there isn't any trace of hesitation as her finger pulls the trigger. You knew you didn't stand a chance judging by look on her face and her sure aim on your torso. The word of warning you want to let out was caught in your throat as she fires.

You remember seeing those crazed brown eyes and then the ceiling of the airship the next. The sensation of what can only be compared to fire piercing your skin spreads through your chest and insides like molten metal. You hear the indistinct noise of the soldiers' voices grow louder yet muffled at the same time around you.

From happy cheers to manic, hysterical screaming.

You couldn't catch your breath at first and you aren't sure from which. Was it from falling flat on your back? Or was it the searing pain that made tears leak from your eyes?

And then above the chaos, you hear your three closest comrades call your name in unison.

"Lieutenant Y/n, hey!!!" Connie's frantic voice shrill through the limited space of the ship. "Hang in there, hey!" You feel him rattle you, placing his rough calloused hand against your cheek. Jean's panic stricken face comes to your field of vision and you whimper,  "A kid." You gasp. "In the airship."

"Bandages! Now! We need to stop the bleeding!" Jean commands shakily and the rest of the soldiers that aren't capturing the two intruders scramble to get the med kit and the captain.

"Y/n-san, please hold on until we make it to the island!!" Connie pleads but hopelessness crawls his veins as he sees your blood flood the wooden floors.

"Keep him safe." You whisper out to nobody. The captain in mind. Your eye lids grow heavy but you didn't want to close them. No. You can't die. You promised him.

"Don't you dare die on me, Y/l/n." His voice echoes in your mind, compelling you to keep breathing despite how excruciating it feels.

Sasha who was frozen at first, snapped out of her shock as she hears Connie's voice call your name out of sheer panic when your eyes fall close. She then runs to meet the soldier carrying the bandages and was at your side in an instant. With trembling hands, Sasha tries with all her might to wrap you up and stop the bleeding.

"No, no, no, no!!" She starts sobbing while watching the bandage turn red, your gushing blood seeping through no matter how tight she puts the wrap around you. "Y/n-san, no, you can't leave us like this." Sasha hiccups, wiping her tears hastily before grabbing your now cold clammy hand and pressing it to her face. "Please!" She cries, eyes falling close.

If you hadn't pushed her, if you didn't step in her place, it would have been her that got shot. Guilt rakes through her as she watches you desperately fight for your life.

You can feel yourself drifting and you felt helpless. You then meet Sasha's, Jean's and then Connie's gaze, muttering with your remaining strength, "Protect him." And it was no request but an order.

Jean stumbles away, his hands going over his ears, unable to stand your labored breaths and Connie and Sasha's whimpering. Jean felt like hurling when Floch turned the kids to him. The other responsible for you being on the brink of death.

But to those two kids, they are the enemies who wreck havoc to their hometown. Floch wanted to kill them and throw them out but what good would that do? Would taking their lives save yours? And knowing you, who practically treat soldiers like them like your kids even though you were just a few years older than them, you would be disappointed in him at the mere thought of hurting these kids.

Jean can almost hear your angelic voice, "They're just children." You would say. So with a vexed expression and heavy turmoil growing within him, he ties them up and led them to where the captain and commander are.

Jean swallows hard when the captain's cold gaze met his and asks, "Who are these kids?"

By the looks of it, he still does not know.

"They killed Lobov-san and used his gear to come aboard." A lump forms in his throat, suddenly can no longer meet the captain's gaze. "A-and this one here, she.. shot Lieutenant Y/l/n."

Levi's eyes widen. Did he just hear Jean correctly? You? Shot? You were with him just minutes ago. No, how is that possible?-

"Captain, I-I don't think she'll make it." He continues, voice faltering. The grievance in Jean's face make Levi's blood run cold. He stumbles forward a bit as Armin and Mikasa run past him but he seemed frozen in his tracks.

No.

You got hurt but you'll pull through this. You always have. You promised him. And you are one of the toughest people he knows.

Levi tries to convince himself as he glared back at Zeke. He tries to distract himself from the cold fear of losing you with the blinding rage he feels for the Beast Titan wielder. But then, the door swings open again and Levi felt something terribly wrong right away.

And when Connie appears with tears sliding down his face and says,

"Y/n-san.. is dead."

Levi's entire world shifts.

Everyone was shellshocked for a moment. Because how could you be gone just like that? When you were just with them just minutes ago providing comfort to all of them? Passing by and giving them a wave of peace and calmness like the angel that you are.

Hange wobbles, her knees growing weak and its as if someone had punched her in the chest. The pain reminiscent as the day she watched Moblit vanish before her eyes. You were her right hand woman. Her confidant.

Eren's head hung in disbelief. His mind clouded by your kind smile just earlier and telling him you're actually glad to see him. Him. The monster who had just devastated a whole town and killed probably thousands of people. He thought that by now, he'd have gotten used to losing the people around him but losing you is gutting him. Its was like losing family. A sister.

"Connie.. did Y/n-san have any last words?" He asks mindlessly, wanting to know what your last thoughts were. Connie blinks through his tears and his eyes drifts to the captain, whose face was undreadable and knuckles threatening to split open at how tightly his balled fists are clenched.

"She said.. 'Protect him.'" Connie mutters and Levi's facade breaks.

The mob of weeping soldiers parted as the captain staggers to the back of the ship where you lay. Armin and Mikasa were still curled up beside you, their faces red and puffy from wailing. Both of them reluctantly stood up and stepped away as he walks closer. His gaze was still trained on the ground as he puts one foot in front of the other.

He shudders and stop midstep as his foot steps on the crimson stained wood. Before he knows it, he falls on his knees with a thud. Your pale hand comes into his field of vision and he takes a deep shakey breath as he reaches for it. His eyes darts everywhere but your face. The bandage on your middle, the boots on your feet that he had his fair share of shinning as his token of appreciation for you making his morning teas, the emblem of the Wings of Freedom embedded on your breast plate.

Your hand felt cold and stiff against his. A stark contast of the warmth it exuded on his cheek just moments ago.

"Y/n?" He croaks.

Suddenly his breathing shallows as the deafening silence stretches on. He can still smell you but can no longer feel you although you're right fucking there. Levi wanted this to some fucked up nightmare. But then, as he steels his nerves and finally looked at your face, his heart shatters.

Your hair is uncharacteristically dishevelled, e/c eyes lifeless, pupils middilated and your mouth parted ever so slightly.

Levi pulls you in his arms frantically, plethora of would have been and should have been anchoring his heart into a sea of regret.

He should have never let you out the damn door.

He should have held you tighter.

He should have you talked to you longer.

He should have told you.. he loves you.

He never even got to tell you.

Levi's face crumples, face reddening before a resentful yell erupts from him. The soldiers wince at the sound. It was pure agony and it pierces through each and everyone of them, bringing the lot of them back to tears if they ever stopped in the first place.

The entire flight back to Paradis, Levi held you the way he wished he did while you were still with him.