#alternated my brain chemistry
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i don’t think you get it
it was a shitty book about shitty people
yet it’s the one book i hear
it’s the only book i have a playlist of
its only 11 songs
but every song sounds like that book
i can’t explain it
this shitty book about shitty people,
has completely changed my brain chemistry
#it had such a deep effect on me and I don’t even know why#no one even knows this book exists#but it’s changed my brain#alternated my brain chemistry#thoughts#on life#my thoughts#poetry#books#songs#playlist#book playlist#it’s unlike me to have a playlist for a book#but I can’t help but hear it#the book is colour me in#colour me in#it’s beautiful#and horrible#and I love it
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@pscentral event 22: 2023 wrapped
FUJIKASA’S FAVORITE OTPs IN 2023 aka ships that make me feel sick in the head [chronological order]
#userdramas#asiandramasource#lextag#usermare#roserayne#oh no! here comes trouble#our dining table#high&low#tokyo revengers (2021)#bleach (2018)#film#kamen rider fourze#alternative title: scenes that altered my brain chemistry#mine#psc#ryo being in three of these is so funny#i do love putting that man in Situations
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"...According to my research, Doctor, the activity known to humans as the 'pocky game' is a common means of romantic pursuit on Earth. This is not dissimilar to a certain ritual of courtship on Vulcan. Allow me to demonstrate."
warning for spicier version below :]
...aaaand now i have a brainworm about the possible vulcan ritual LMAO
#star trek#star trek fanart#spones#spones fanart#bones x spock#leonard mccoy#bones mccoy#spock#leonard bones mccoy#star trek aos#star trek alternate original series fanart#star trek alternate original series#aos spones#pocky game#you cant tell me my finals didnt change my brain chemistry somhow bc i ENJOYED doing the lineart. Insane...#insert is this the mirrorverse pigeon meme#i really like rendering liquids to the point where i cant help myself and it shows#but spock smirking is forever going to be on loop in my brain yknow#trek spice#even though it isn't really spice. its sequel in my heart definitely is
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Simone Kessell photographed by Lucy Edmonds for Woman+ Magazine
#simone kessell#simonekesselledit#i'm—#absolutely fucking destroyed#these altered my brain chemistry you don't understand#also i might've had a stroke#I WANNA CLIMB HER LIKE A TREE#WRAP MYSELF AROUND HER LIKE A KOALA#LEGSSSS OH MY GOD HER LEGS#LEGS FOR DAYSSS#how is she real#🥵🥵🥵🥵#she is like the whole package howwww 😭😭😭😭😭#simoaners come suffer with me!!#alternating between pics 4 and 5 as my phone's homescreen wallpaper ngl#i love being gay#*edvrx#*alldvrx
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Memories still linger
#whoever put star by mitski in that one leoklein playlist#you deserve a 3 course meal paid by me#that song in relation to them alterned my brain chemistry#so logically i had to draw something with it or i'd literally explode#its 6 am#lord of the mysteries#lotm#lotm fanart#leoklein#leonard mitchell#klein moretti
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Salò, or the 120 Days of Sodom by Aris Biniaris for the Greek National Opera's Alternative Stage
(photos by Giorgos Kalkanides)
#Salo#salo or the 120 days of sodom#aris biniaris#tw: blood#I saw this play and it altered my brain chemistry#i haven't been this artistically and intellectually shocked in a while#i am very normal about this play yes#i saw it twice#it's a fucking masterpiece#greek national opera#gno alternative stage
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i still feel abnormal about kaeyas adventure to sumeru as a child btw. he tells us about it in this lighthearted "haha look how silly i was as a kid ^^" way (because god forbid he allows one ounce of vulnerability in any situation ever) but tbh its just tremendously sad. to me
#:( he missed a home he'd never even actually been to#desperate enough to literally take the first fucking chance to go there no matter how impossible and dangerous it was#👍like wow ok what do i do with this information now. cry??#i remember making a post exactly like this when 3.5 came out but#who cares ive already established there are only about 11 thoughts inside my head and i just alternate between them#kaeyaposting#i will never ever stop being sad about kid kaeya#and about adult kaeya#about any flavor of kaeya you can possibly think of#kaeya kaeya kaeya god this man altered my brain chemistry irreversibly#my posts#kaeya alberich
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do any of yall like being human?
#being human#aiden waite#josh levison#sally malik#being human fanart#pencil sketch#quick sketch#fanart#i watched this show when i was way to young and it alternated my brain chemistry on a fundamental level
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“Greetings, once again. It is I, Nerdy Alvin or Full-Nerd Alvin. I’m not sure what I’m calling myself.”
“I am delighted to inform you that one day of the 12 hour ADHD medication has helped me ace two quizzes and one big exam.”
“Computer Science class, meet my untapped genius. I am EXCELSIOR!”
“I shall miss this soon. It’s late and I can feel the effects fading. It shall feel nice to hyperfixate on random things again though. It’s impossible to do so while my brain is “Simonized.”
“I don’t know why I said I hate taking these things. They’re not so bad when I reassure myself the side effects I don’t enjoy are temporary.”
“I shan’t need them tomorrow. I’ll be back to short release ONLY IF my classes aren’t going well. It’s a pity. I hate to leave this (what’s the word I’m looking for?) significantly more competent and mature state of mind. But, the cycle continues. I must depart. Farewell.”
#alvin seville#alvin and the chipmunks#alvinnn and the chipmunks#alvin 2.0#alternate universe#aatc#adhd meds#school#still playing catch up#or rather get ahead#I’m ahead now#I enjoy this#well as much as I can enjoy it when my emotions feel so muted#is this how Simon feels all the time?#probably not#but it is similar#side effects#lack of hyperfixation#mild interest in things#but I can still do them#this isn’t so bad#temporarily#if I had to live with this brain chemistry all the time I would SCREAM#Woes#thoughts#I am very tired#oh no I’m RAMBLING again#curious that I can still ramble but I now find my own rambles incessant and annoying#living science experiment#alvin signing off
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Ice Nine Kills have awakened something* in me
*a manic episode
#their music is like all ive ever needed??#so much going on truly amazing vocals horror inspo and lyrics that are either VERY good and emotional OR sound like Jack Black wrote them?#this is so targeted#ANYWAY i spent the last week listenning to their entire discography on repeat and it’s alternating my brain chemistry#i fell asleep while getting tattoed i have sooo many new ideas for songs and l bought tickets to see them next year#looking back im pretty sure it’s that and also mania but oh well we live and we go mental illness mode#ghost rambles#ice nine kills
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Hello I am once again asking you to listen to Feldup's new album (edit: ive made a rec post)
#I just listened to stared at from a distance the song (after waters which I had already listened to) and it has fundamentally altered my#brain chemistry#some info on the guy : he's french and also does YouTube videos on horror and internet horrific phenomenona but his music is in english#it's indie alternative rock for the most part#in stared at from a distance (the album) some songs are pretty long. I advise you to have lyrics under your eyes#his singing isn't for everyone but I personally love it#big tw warning for csa and sa in general in some of his songs because he's a survivor and sings about it. General warning for mental illnes#ig. don't listen when you're in a bad place I'm not even feeling that bad and started at from a distance (song) just killed me#he's really really really good and he deserves to have more fans of his music pls give it a try#if you don't want to bother with the full almums I'll make a rec list of my favorites from his two albums once I'm done listening#feldup#stared at from a distance#a thousand doors just one key#French artist#music recs
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SALEM - Starfall (2020)
Directed by Tommy Malekoff & Jack Donoghue
This video did something to my brain.
#SALEM#Starfall#2020#music video#vídeo musical#changed my brain chemistry#tommy malekoff#Jack Donoghue#youtube#music#music recomendations#music discovery#trap#russian hip hop#alternative#indie#synths
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i was going to say i hate when i'm right but actually i enjoy the sensation of being correct even if i don't like the thing i was right about. So I'm very happy to be right so often, actually (especially now that no one in my life is actively trying to gaslight me)
#this post brought to you by:#the fact that my favorite monster flavor has ONCE AGAIN gone missing from shelves entirely and i'm having to figure out a replacement flavo#AGAIN and I was like ''huh well their new seasonal is out. if they're not making any more of my favorite flavor that means they've probably#got plans to change the name AGAIN or it's going to be reformulated and sold as something else''#so i picked up some alternative flavors to find a solid backup flavor for myself because Original is not tasty long-term#it's fine for a one off but if you're gonna have it lots i would like more fruit in my beverage flavor please#for anyone curious my favorite flavor in this instance is Khaotic - which was in fact previously Khaos#and those were i'm fairly certain the same they just renamed it for some reason#the flavor i think they're replacing it with (i'm purely speculating of course) is the Rio Punch which i think is pretty new#which means it'll be a seasonal flavor and it won't stay around forever so i'm still in the market for a New Favorite but in the meantime#i don't mind what they've done to make it more Tropical and the color is ''Brazilian Flag'' so it's easily spotted#and will make asking for it in specific a lot easier if it sticks around for a bit#my medically necessary monsters i s2g#college me would be so fucking tickled about having accidentally gotten the components to my actual mental health correct#just maybe not the ratios yet lol#it's fine we were 19-22 years old and a business major who'd avoided chemistry after failing out of the homeschool version somehow#so like it's allowed to take 10 years to get the ratios of what makes my brain work good correct#fuck okay speaking of which i do in fact have Tasks to complete before i go about the rest of my day. hope everyone has a great day
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time to play the horror game of Rotating Antidepressants And Hoping That The One SSRI I Tolerate Both Works And Doesn't Cause A Manic Episode 👍
#cat meows#i have to rotate antidepressants which is so stupid. bupropion stopped working#lexapro is the only SSRI that doesn't mega fuck me up but it's also. not very effective.#wish i didn't have the world's most broken brain chemistry in a country that has fuckall we can do for treatment resistant depresh#TMS? nada doesn't exist here. other SNRI types? nada we only have evil effexor.#literally all of the widely researched alternatives? fuck you it's either a handful of meds or ECT#literally she offered me an MAOI again which is how dire my options are. MAOIs are super last resort#because they can kill you :). the one she offered i've tried anyway and it didn't help a lot#can i just be like. normal. can there stop being a bubble between me and the world. etc.#at least i have some Prescription Sedatives in case the lexapro jacks my sleep up bad#because if i stop sleeping then that's another mania trigger when SSRIs themselves also are a trigger for that for me
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This is going to be random as hell but I really love your pfp and banner
hiiiii omg thank u 💖 luffy is my son, my most precious boy, my angel
I like your pfp too 💖 brook my beloved 💖
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I agree so hard.
swansea mouthwashing... you agree. reblog.
#this is going on my main blog#very important#I AM NOT NORMAL ABOUT SWANSEA#HE IS ALTERNATING MY BRAIN CHEMISTRY PEOPLE I DON’T KNOW WHAT’S HAPPENING-#BDWIUDHEODUWHDID#heem so silly… gah so majestic#<- Well more like someone I’d feel mostly safe with 👍#golly I can’t place my finger on it!#either way his character design and writing is IMMACULATE#mouthwashing#mouthwashing game#I love swansea <3
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