#also. it's never known how to show love outside of a.) manipulating others

[shinydracozolt]

free my peach. it did all of that but the chicken dancing was objectively hilarious.

[anundyingfidelity]

HAPPY MISTAKE — Logan Howlett

Summary: Not ever, through all the years of your life, you found someone like Logan. Since he arrived at the school, something brought you together like a magnet. Sadly, not everything came out as you wished it would be. Time is not gentle with mutants, and you try so hard to show him your unconditional love before everything is over, but can you finally accept your feelings for each other? Or yours and Logan's tumultuous relationship through the years.

(PART ONE → PART TWO) | GEN MASTERLIST!

Pairing: Logan x mutant!female!reader.

Word count: 9.6k.

Warnings: slow burn, breaking up(?)/making up, heavy angst, hurt/comfort, eventual smut and unprotected everything, language, character death, time travel, Logan hurting reader unintentionally, wounds and blood. Logan being a whore for both Jean Grey and the reader. Reader has slow aging as Logan and looks around mid 30s in my head. Anthropology teacher!reader. Reader can manipulate light (just like Starlight from The Boys). This takes place between different movies from the franchise, from X-Men 1 to DoFP, so spoilers of the movies ahead.

Notes: Long time no write. Life is horrible but somehow I managed to get this in like two months. I love Logan so fucking much now you don't have an idea. This was also written with Happy Mistake by Lady Gaga in mind. If you'd like to be tagged in the second part let me know or let me know your thoughts on this, it's very much appreciated! I suffered a lot writing it .

𝒊𝒇 𝒊 𝒄𝒐𝒖𝒍𝒅 𝒇𝒊𝒙 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒃𝒓𝒐𝒌𝒆𝒏 𝒑𝒊𝒆𝒄𝒆𝒔, 𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒏 𝒊'𝒅 𝒉𝒂𝒗𝒆 𝒂 𝒉𝒂𝒑𝒑𝒚 𝒎𝒊𝒔𝒕𝒂𝒌𝒆.

—

2000

“Need any help?”

Logan stopped on his tracks from wandering around the cozy, yet strange place he woke up in. Turning on his feet, he saw your figure standing in the middle of the hallway. He said nothing, but you approached him as you had known him for a very long time.

“I assume you’re the new guy-”

“Where is she?” Logan abruptly interrupted once you stood inches away from him.

“Rogue? She’s fine. And you need to take a little rest.”

“I don’t need medical attention,” he said, looking around to search for a nearby exit. Before he walked away you took his arm in a soft grip.

He was, as much as you could tell, surprised by your boldness. You gave him no time to process his next movements once you talked again, your voice firm and welcoming in a way he had never felt before.

“Please, you need to meet Professor Xavier,” you said. “At least before you go. It’s totally fine if you wanna leave, I don’t recommend it though, but we can offer you a safe place here. We are just like you.”

Logan’s hardened expression relaxed for a moment, sensing no threat coming from you. All he saw in your eyes wasn’t pity, nor anger at him being kind of an asshole at first. It was just authority, the good kind where he also had something to say and decide about.

“Whatcha say, Logan?”

He was so immersed in his thoughts before you called his name, thinking it sounded beautiful falling off your lips. You gave him a half smile as he took in each detail of your face, as if he was memorizing every part of it.

It was the first time someone had been nice to him and it felt strangely good.

For some reason, it felt very good coming from you.

—

Logan just found out from the Professor’s mouth the mansion was a school for mutants. Gifted people, he called them. After learning another powerful mutant was behind him and Rogue, he had no other choice but accept the shelter. He didn’t like the other guys better, playing the teacher with a bunch of teenagers with special or cursed abilities. But besides Storm and Jean, you were the person who had welcomed him the most, even showing him the place and the room he would stay in.

One late night, you sat at the dining table together. Logan was silently drinking a beer outside school hours so the kids wouldn’t see him, and you, reading a bunch of papers from your students that you were missing. He realized how hard you worked, how you would praise your students, how you talked to them outside classes, being the one to actually convince Rogue to enroll in the school. Immediately, he knew you were really something, having much more in common than he thought. And you, living for so long, being both a mutant and a lady for sure had a hard life through time.

“What you teach again?” he suddenly asked, breaking the comfortable silence you shared.

“Anthropology,” you answered, giving him a short glance. “I took this at college a long time ago, and I’ve been alive long enough to know a thing or two,” you explained, putting away a paper after putting an A+ on it proudly. “It’s important to understand ourselves, humankind and mutants… It’s a diverse world and there are lots of cultures, languages and societies we don’t get to know, but it’s beautiful. I think I like to celebrate what makes us unique. I've had the chance to study some of them around the world since I had the time, y’know, and it’s truly amazing. It’s a shame we have to fight between us to make us heard when we could just be kind and empathetic to each other… Sorry, you didn’t ask but, y’know, anyway.”

You shook your head with a curve on your lips, going back to the next paper. Logan had taken the sparks in your eyes as you talked. He half smiled to himself once you buried yourself in your papers again, thinking you sounded just like Professor Xavier. No wonder why he took you in. Probably, if things were different for him, he would’ve found something that could light his face with so much passion just like you did.

“Been alive for almost two hundred years,” Logan said and you looked up to him. “We might have things about the past to share,” he drank from his beer. It was your turn to smile back at him.

“Yeah, well, I’ve lived both horrible but nice things. Couldn’t read or do math without being called a witch,” you chuckled to yourself, but hiding on the inside the awful experiences you had to endure. “Someday, we could go out and grab a coffee or something,” you said with a playful smile.

A light chuckle left your lips, but you and him knew it wasn’t just a joke.

He joined you with a warm smile that lit up his face before disappearing from his lips. “Of course. Count me in.”

—

The sun was shining bright and the weather was great that morning. Some of the students were in the yard playing, having some quality time, and others simply just left to go to the town. It was a good weekend before the next semester started, and it was better now knowing Magneto had been taken to prison after his failed attempt to use Rogue for his plans.

Sipping on your coffee, you saw the students outside. Laughing, running, having a good breakfast picnic. It felt heartwarming just taking this sight, wishing it would always be like this. Your mindful peace was interrupted when Logan entered the kitchen to have a coffee on his own. Visibly, you tensed just a little when he approached you and sat right in front of you at the dining table. The caffeine was not helping at all, you thought.

“Morning,” he greeted you, noticing something was off on you, but hoping it would pass. Maybe you already knew.

“Morning…” your voice came out as a whisper. “How you feeling?”

“Better. What about you?”

You gave a small nod. “Good, thanks for asking.”

A silence fell upon you. Not like the ones you used to share in lonely nights where you prepared your classes and Logan just sat down calmly because he couldn’t sleep. This time it was different. Words won’t come out of your mouth to ask what was really bothering you. You had grown up to like Logan and enjoy his company, but he had a lot of walls upon him, protecting himself of the world and people around him.

However, you understood why he did it. You both have been alive longer than anyone else. You saw people you love dearly dead, being killed because of your flaws. And you really connected to his idea of protecting people by leaving their side. It was better being away. That was until Professor Xavier recruited you. Here, you had a purpose and you helped young people to become the best versions of themselves. You wished Logan could do the same, stay and see he was more of what he thought of himself, but it wouldn’t happen. Right? He had things to sort out on his own.

“Are you leaving soon?”

When you asked the question, Logan knew you had heard something from the Professor. He gave you a nod.

“I need to reconnect with who I was,” he simply answered.

“Right… Wish you all the best there.”

Logan had grown to like you over the past few weeks you shared, exchanging experiences and lessons of life you had taken through the years. For a moment, he looked right into your eyes and smiled. He weirdly smiled, and you could swear he’d miss you too once he is away.

But that warm feeling soon faded away once Jean walked into the kitchen, saying good morning and beaming to the both of you. Logan followed her with his gaze, straightening himself on his seat as she served her own breakfast and an extra plate that you already knew was for Scott. She also began putting fruits and snacks inside a picnic basket while looking all happy and settled, and you knew why Logan had fallen in love with her. It was all over his face.

And you wondered how could he act and talk to you so kindly and sweet, and then look at Jean like that. It was a pain in your heart you tried to dissipate. Everyone knew Jean and Scott were a couple, and the fact that Logan had a not so secret crush on her really played on you. It made you feel like a fool and you had too many heartbreaks and hurted people, putting them in danger due to your mutation, to take initiative and start a relationship - or anything of the sort - again.

Scott made his way inside the kitchen, saying hi to both of you - mostly you. And took the tray with their plates as Jean grabbed the basket, but she let Scott leave the kitchen before.

“Have a good trip, Logan,” she said kindly. “I hope to see you around here soon.”

“Thank you, Jean.”

She smiled one last time before leaving you all alone, Logan following her with his eyes. Just for a second, you wished he could see you like that underneath his facade.

—

You had packed your stuff later that day, deciding a little air and a change for one night would do no wrong. Just as you were walking to the main door, Rogue was saying her goodbyes to Logan after giving him a small hug without really touching him. It was a cute sight how Rogue was able to step into his cold heart. She said goodbye to you as well before leaving the entrance.

“You’re going away too?” Logan asked, rather surprised as you both walked through the door, the sun hitting your skin as soon as you were out of the mansion. He knew your life was at the school.

“Just for the weekend,” you shrug it off.

Logan gave you a nod with a warm smile. “Then have a good trip and enjoy yourself.”

“Thanks. I hope you find what you’ve been looking for.”

“I hope so too,” Logan answered and before he went to take Scott’s bike, he looked at you hesitantly for a couple of seconds. “We should go out and grab some coffee once I’m back.”

Your lips formed a wide smile. “That sounds really nice.”

For a moment, where time felt like hours and not seconds, you stood right out the door, looking at each other. You wanted him to go first, but he was waiting for you to say something. Probably to ride the bike with him, he could leave you somewhere near your destination and feel you close - just be around you for at least five more minutes. But none of that ever happened.

Instead, you studied his face, looking at his deep eyes, and then his lips - those lips you wanted to kiss so bad before, but never had the courage to do so. You didn’t think further, and if something had taken possession over you, you leaned towards him leaving a short, sweet kiss on the corner of his lips.

“Take care,” you mumbled once you pulled away.

Not waiting for his answer, you turned back, pulling your bag to your side stronger than ever and walked the path to the front gates, feeling his gaze all over you until you left the mansion.

He felt such an idiot for not kissing you properly.

—

2003

‘I know what I want, but what do you want?’

Mystique’s words echoed through his head. Logan left the tent so long ago he didn’t know what time it was anymore and the situation kept repeating again and again in his mind. The woman had shifted between Jean, Ororo, and you. The one that icked him the most being Rogue once Mystique had taken her figure in. Storm was a good colleague, Jean was a forbidden love, Rogue was like his little sister, someone he would protect as long as he could, and you… you were a different case. When Mystique was about to kiss him wearing your figure, he finally realized he started feeling things he had prohibited himself for a very long time, and he thought he shouldn’t. He really shouldn’t.

Once or twice you shared experiences about love and partners, but he could tell it hurted you the same way as him. He couldn’t burden breaking your heart, or worse, getting you hurt because of what he was. Logan knew you had the same bad luck in the past, but it didn’t stop any of you to pull towards each other like a magnet.

‘Living for so long does things to you, Logan. I feel we become more aware of what we are.’

Those words you said to him one time remained in his head like a warning, and he took it personally.

Closing his eyes, he leaned against a hard tree trunk some feet away from the tents where the rest of the X-Men rested. He tried to find some peace alone for a few moments when the sounds of steps approaching alerted his senses. Claws out and ready to attack, he spun around the trunk only to stop in a second.

There you were, a bright light emanating from your hand to illuminate your path in the darkness of the woods.

“Logan?”

Quickly, he withdrew his claws and his body relaxed visibly. “Sorry,” he apologized, leaning against the tree one more time.

“Are you okay?” you asked, but you already knew the answer. The exhausted sigh he let out told you everything you needed. You let the soft glow of light floating between you and him, to illuminate both of you under the branches. “You wanna talk?”

He slowly shook his head, mumbling ‘no’. He became startled in the light floating like a firefly, letting his own issues wash away with your sole company. Ironically, everything that was troubling him was you. Softly, you caressed his arm, taking him out of his own thoughts. Your touch didn’t help his poor mind either.

Looking worried about the next mission in Lake Alkali, you feared for him and your team. And your lack of sleep was showing it. But just like Logan, the growing feelings were troubling your head. You had seen him talking with Jean earlier when you landed in the forest - talking too close to your liking once he pulled her for a kiss. But what could you do? Logan was still after Jean even when she had already declined him countless of times, and it didn’t really hurt you. It just felt strange inside. Why would he do that while still being nice to you, quitting being a dick when he wanted because he knew you’d snap back at him. And to be honest, Logan looked as if he liked that about you. But he won’t admit it out loud, and of course, you wouldn’t ask. Men were so damn complicated.

“Well, I only expect things to not get worse…” you finally said in a soft whisper since he wasn’t talking and you stopped your head going further on the matter. And you knew he wouldn’t talk soon either. “And you’re brave for seeking your past.”

Logan locked his eyes with your own, under the soft light. Your tired gaze, your figure, your aura pulling him like he found a treasure in an abandoned cave… He felt so bad for falling for someone like you, who was nothing compared to the crap he was. And then, for the first time in years, he decided to follow his instinct with you.

He leaned towards your figure, his rough hand cupping your cheek gently before pulling you in for a kiss. With a soft sigh you corresponded, your arms around his neck as it turned deeper and harsher. Logan lifted you easily from the ground, your legs tangling around his waist until you felt your back against a rough surface, trapped between the trunk and his body. Soft moans and grunts mingled, your chest pressing against his own, his hips grinding against your crotch. It was obvious you wanted this. Logan desired you so painfully after that day you kissed him goodbye at the mansion, he needed your body and soul. But you had to have answers before giving into the heat of the moment.

Pulling away, you broke the kiss, your forehead resting against his own as you tried to catch your breath. Logan tried to taste you once again, but you placed two of your fingers on his swollen lips.

“Why’d you kiss her?”

He remained silent, brows furrowed and eyes blown in lust. You didn’t make any effort to pull him away. He still had you between his legs, asking a simple question he had no response for.

“We’re adults here, Logan. Just wanna know why before we go further.”

Logan started to remember. He vividly heard Jean and Mystique voicing out and asking the right question.

‘Girls flirt with the bad guy. They take the good guy home.’

‘What do you want?’

“Do you really want me?” he asked in return.

You lifted an eyebrow at his sudden question. “And do you?”

He leaned again for a kiss on your lips, and thankfully for him, you didn’t stop it. But he quickly pulled away and inhaled your sweet scent from the skin on your neck, leaving a path of soft pecks, until he nipped the shell of your ear softly. You shivered under his touch.

“I’d love to have you,” he whispered, softly caressing your cheek with his thumb.

“Come to my tent,” you mumbled. “Sleep with me. But like, seriously, sleep with me ‘cause I’m tired,” you chuckled, hoping to not kill the mood.

Logan smiled for a bit and nodded, pecking your lips one more time before helping you get on your feet on the muddy ground, hands rubbing your sides slowly.

“As long as I have you by my side it’s alright with me.”

—

Jean’s death was hard to swallow.

For weeks, students and teachers mourned her, and you felt sorry for Scott for losing his soulmate. Logan was not in the best shape either. He didn’t attend her funeral, he never had the guts to stand by her grave either, until now. You stopped right behind him and noticed him sighing, under the afternoon sunset. He was tense because of everything, but when you took his hand out of the pocket of his jacket, he held onto you. Your fingers intertwined together, feeling his life depending solely on you, like a rock he needed to support his whole weight.

The day was about to end, the sun slowly hiding, giving a beautiful painting of orange and purple in the sky. You thought it would soon become an intense thunderstorm due to Ororo’s mourn - something you had gotten used to the last few days.

“She saved us,” Logan barely mumbled, looking intensely at the grave.

You nodded, even if he could not see you. “Can’t blame her, I’d have done the same.”

Those words cause him to look back at you, wishing it’d be a lie. But inside, Logan knew you really had the guts to sacrifice yourself for others. It was something he remembered both of you talking about some time ago. And you would give everything in your hands to save the ones you love.

Quietly, Logan gave a last glance at Jean’s grave, and guided you inside the mansion. Classes barely started again due to the circumstances and a few kids could be seen around the halls. You accompanied him to the doors of his room, noticing you had been holding hands the whole time. Probably no one really cared, they were too busy trying to go through the grief of losing a loved one. Slowly, you broke the gesture, taking your hand away and Logan immediately missed the heat and comfort of your hand.

“Do you need anything?” you asked in a low voice.

Looking at you, Logan reminisced how you kissed in the woods, the need and lust for each other that couldn’t be. He did sleep in your tent that night, in the comfort of your arms, feeling the warmth of your skin. It was, probably, the first time he had a good, peaceful night of sleep in years. No one had brought that up, but he knew something was there. And he needed to act on it before it was too late.

So he brought up his hands to your face, cupping your cheeks lovingly before planting a kiss on your lips, not caring he was standing in the middle of the hallway where anyone could see what was going on. You leaned against his touch, deepening the kiss until you couldn’t catch a breath. When he pulled away, he pressed his forehead into yours, taking in the beauty of your bright eyes and swollen lips. Everything wandering his mind, making a path right into his cold heart was right in front of him.

“You.”

—

Knocking Professor Xavier's door, you walked inside as soon as his voice announced to come in. You caught your breath seeing Logan by his desk. He just gave you a quick, accomplice glimpse and left the room, closing the door behind. The exchange of glances wasn’t unnoticed by Charles.

“Here’s the report on my subject for this last semester, Professor,” you announced, leaving the folder on the wooden desk.

“Thank you. How’s Logan doing?” he asked all of a sudden, checking the door the man had crossed just seconds ago.

“Excuse me?”

“Do you believe he is comfortable helping the kids?” the old man asked again. He was seeing right through you, and you kind of hated every time he used to do that to you. Nothing could be hidden from Xavier; definitely you couldn’t hide a single thing for the man who took you in decades ago.

“Why would I know that?”

He shrugged it off. “Well, you seem very close lately.”

Close was not the best word to describe your relationship with Logan. Yet, you were sleeping on his bed just the night before. The trace of his kisses, the burn of his beard on your skin, his teeth biting softly your breasts, his rough hands all over your hips… Every touch he left on your body you could still feel it, and you wanted to think he was not just using you. During the past weeks, you were together. Not quite a relationship-thing was established properly, but it was the closest thing any of you could have as for now.

It was a mixture of grief, pain, and hope that had you both still standing. In the end, you understood what he felt. Being alone and alive for so long and then finding a place where people accepted you for who you were was a whole change, even if some years passed by. Though, the time Logan had been spending at the school was nothing but a blink of an eye compared to his past.

“What happened to our team is still affecting us,” you finally said. “I believe we are good friends, yes, we’ve been supporting each other. And he doesn’t know how to deal with the students yet most of the time, but I try to walk him through it.”

Xavier hummed, smiling at the corner of his lips as he eyed the folder you handed him. “I bet you both do.Thanks for bringing your report on time, as always, and I apologize if I am being intrusive. Just please be careful with the noises both of you make at night, we have kids around here.”

Shit.

You swallowed your pride right there and simply gave a nod, feeling the heat burning up your face.

“Will do, Professor.”

—

A loud gasp escaped your lips as you held for dear life on his broad shoulders, hips snapping against your own. His pace was reckless, keeping you on the edge of sin. Grunts mixed with sweet moans, skin hitting skin again and again every time you felt his cock inside you. If possible, your nails could have already left visible scars and marks on his back, scratching and bleeding off his skin as he fucked you senseless.

Logan sucked on the bare skin on your neck, inhaling your scent, feeling your walls clenching around his girth, his hands roughly grabbing the sides of your hips as you moaned his name, over and over, under the moonlight. He looked at you intensely with loving eyes when you came underneath him, eyes flashing that familiar bright light every time a powerful orgasm hit your body. The vulnerable sight of your figure shaking, eyes closing slowly and biting your lip to keep the pretty noises low, made him reach the sweetest high.

With a grunt, he leaned to attack your lips in a heated, wet kiss to moan against your mouth. Logan pulled back to press butterfly kisses on your jaw, until he reached your breasts, feeling himself soften inside your wet heat. His hips were still thrusting just enough to fill you up at a gentle rhythm. Marking you his and only his.

“Fuck, you’re so beautiful,” he mumbled against the sensitive skin of your chest. “Remind me why we’re here again.”

You chuckled softly, fingers tangling on his disheveled hair. You just had prepared a small date night out at the shores of a beautiful lake in the woods. No one could bother you if you were alone, and since your relationship was not so secret anymore, you needed him in a place that wasn’t the school. So here you were, laying on your back, fully naked on the picnic blanket, with the Wolverine between your legs, enjoying the calmness of the water, the green grass, the crickets singing around, and the cold of the night.

“Privacy perhaps?” you whispered as his eyes locked on yours.

Softly you touched his cheek with the palm of your hand and he rolled both of you over, until you laid on top of him, legs straddling his waist and your arms on his shoulders to sit on his lap. Silence took over, his hands soothing your hips and the marks he left on your body from the intense love-making.

“I’m so happy we took a couple of days off…”

You waited for Logan to say something. Anything. You wanted to continue, to tell him how you really felt. Instead, you decided it was better leaving it like this. Logan gave you a nod, pulling you for a short kiss.

“Yeah. Me too.”

He wanted to say it out loud, but was too scared to do so.

—

2006

After a couple of long years, the school and the team had to learn how to go through the grief and pain Jean left. Logan had a hard time processing it, just like all your teammates, specially Scott, and of course the students. It didn’t stop you from moving on as time went by though, always remembering her for the great person and mind she was. Going forward and keeping fighting is what she would’ve wanted for everyone, even now that a certain cure for mutants was announced to the public.

You tried to continue your life as a professor at the school, training students, leading young people, and you invited and encouraged Logan to do so countless times. Deep inside, you wished it was you the reason why Logan decided to stay and train young mutants - for you to be the answer to his loneliness. That he knew, for once and all, that he was not alone. You got each other, and you could do something about it. Words unspoken said more than anything, at least you thought so.

It was one of those rare nights where you got some time for yourselves, walking around the city after having a nice and calm dinner. Your shoulders brushed against each other while you walked downtown, your hands hiding inside the pockets of your jacket, protecting them from the cold.

There was a lot on your mind lately, thinking about what you two really were. If there was a stronger feeling in between, or if it was solely because he enjoyed your company and that was it. Both had lived enough to know there was a feeling in the middle. It wasn’t just friends with benefits, or co-workers who sleep together three times a week. Something was blooming deep inside you, but you tried to not give it a lot of attention all those years. Still, it felt like it had to be addressed sooner or later, and this could be the time. In the end, you understood each other perfectly. How painful it was, how living longer than anyone was, how you had to leave everything and everyone behind because you were dangerous…

“Have you ever wondered how’d it feel to have a normal life?” your question came out all of the sudden.

“How come?” He looked at you from the corner of his eye.

You didn’t know if his gaze was judging you but you continued anyway.

“Like living a normal amount of years… Not having these things, genes that make us different. Or special…”

Logan suddenly stopped in his tracks and grabbed your arm softly so you could lock eyes together as he asked. “You’re not thinking of getting that damn cure, aren’t you?”

“Of course not!”

“Then why’d you think that?”

“Because I never had anyone in my life, Logan,” you spat, pulling your arm away from his grip. “I’ve been alive for so long but I can’t promise myself a future. A real one. Not anything, it doesn’t matter if I live forever. Every person I loved before perished.”

Those words shook him out of the rough façade showing on his face. Your gaze told a hundred different stories when he studied your face every time. It was like mirroring himself at some point. You were the first person he ever got to know that has lived as long as he has, and maybe it was the sentimentalism, but he tried to push away those wishes of settling down. Of trying to be normal. Because he was not, and maybe, just maybe, you just didn’t accept it like he did. Probably, he was just giving up. But you weren’t, even after hundreds of years of disgrace continuously happening.

“I thought you’d get this, Logan.”

You mumbled, taking him out of his trance.

“Well, I do, in a way,” he said, but sounded more like an excuse for himself.

“Then why don’t you say it?”

“Wha-”

“Just say it,” you repeated and pointed between you and him. “What is this for you? What are we?”

Logan grabbed on your shoulders gently and leaned towards you, stealing a kiss on the sidewalk, a kiss you obliged with a bittersweet feeling for some reason, but then he whispered. “Darling, you’re everything to me now.”

Yet, you smiled and kissed him back, feeling his lips curve against your own. Well, that wasn’t so hard was it?

—

Needless to say, after the last date, your relationship with Logan had evolved to something more domestic, considering you lived together in your workplace. Affection, holding hands, quick kisses were shared now a little more freely, and you had received a couple of jokes and teases from some students and Storm. But it was fine as long as you had cleared your path with Logan, even if he didn’t act like a partner sometimes.

The certain calmness you felt one day disappeared when Logan and Ororo went to look for Scott, who often had these sad thoughts, and since Jean was his partner, it was thoroughly complicated for him to say the least. When Logan and Ororo came back to the mansion, it was not what you expected to see. Jean was alive and Scott was gone.

It hurted you, knowing first hand that their love wouldn’t be anymore. You met both of them when they were so young, becoming something like their mentor when they used to learn how to control their powers and how to fit in this world that loathed mutants to death. Now, the school was something else. It was a big, special place that was not the same without the brains of Jean, or the enthusiasm and leadership of Scott. Things were different, they had to change because the circumstances told so, and everyone had a difficult time adapting to it. One thing after another left you tired, with no option to run away, even if you wanted to. The complicated circumstances and the relationship you shared with Logan were no help either.

While on your way to check on Jean, who was still under observation after a couple of days, you stopped in your tracks when the heavy door of the med bay slid. Logan, looking all out of his daily self and mad, found you at the entrance, and you felt something different emanating from him.

For what you could see behind him, Jean was still asleep, and the Professor called Logan to come back with a serious voice, but he ignored the older man, instead approaching you.

“You knew, didn’t you?” Logan grasped your arm, his tone lower and deeper than usual.

You quickly pulled off his grip and hissed. “What are you talking about?”

“Jean.”

You felt silent. Of course she was anything he could think of since they found her.

“You knew he was controlling her,” Logan went on and your heart skipped a beat.

The look in your eyes told everything but lies. Logan scoffed and walked away, leaving you standing alone under Professor Xavier’s gaze.

“I’ll talk to him,” you mumbled at your mentor before following Logan, trying to keep his pace until he reached his room.

The whole way you tried to keep it professional, greeting students as normally you would, but when you crossed his door it was impossible to continue with the facade.

“Logan-”

“He’s insane,” he snapped, putting his jacket on and taking his bag out.

“Everything that was done was meant to protect her,” you responded calmly as he placed a handful of clothes inside the bag.

“No, you did it because you are disgusting. I bet this is what should’ve been for me if I refused to cooperate with your circus or something.”

“You don’t know what she is capable of-”

“Yeah, well I don’t wanna hear it anymore. This is so fucked up, even for you,” he continued, bag on his hand taking long strides until you were almost touching noses. 

You scoffed, trying to laugh at the irony. “What does that even mean? Do you know how horrible it is to be controlled by the Phoenix inside her?.”

Logan rolled his eyes, not wanting to hear another poor excuse. You continued anyway, looking straight in his eyes before he could leave you hanging with your own words. Exactly like he used to do every damn time when you had an argument. Today, he wouldn’t run away that fast.

“She could kill you in a second and won’t hesitate. For her, we’re nothing. We’re not rivals, we can’t do shit. The only thing we could do was keep her alter ego somewhere hiding inside her mind, or else we wouldn’t be here arguing about something you never witnessed. Because I did and you don’t wanna see that, trust me,” you spat at him. He breathed rage at your words and you knew that it was getting on his nerves seeing the way his hands turned to fists. “And you think this version of her cares for you? Or that she loves you? Jean is gone now, Logan, fucking get over it.”

With last harsh words, you turned around and left the room, closing the door with a thud. 

Logan breathed out. He wanted to scream, hit something, run away… Anything to let it out. He was a reckless mess but how could he react and accept Charles was playing with Jean’s mind? And you fucking knew all this time and didn’t say anything? Were his feelings dirty on him right now? Probably. Shit, he took years to finally tell you the truth about his love and affection towards you. He spent months trying to find the right words just to say ‘I love you’, and still, it seemed it wasn’t enough. The forbidden love he felt for Jean never disappeared, and he felt guilty for it.

—

You walked down to the med bay after calming down for a bit. You only needed to check on Jean for a moment and see how she was doing. Years prior, you had witnessed what the Phoenix was capable of, so you didn’t really question Charles’ methods when it came to hide this dangerous side of her inside her mind. You also thought your words might have been a little harsh on Logan, but it was the truth. He didn’t know who the Phoenix was and, if his feelings for Jean resurfaced after believing her being dead, then it wasn’t on you. As much as you loved him, as much as you tried and somehow managed to move on together, he was so easily dragged to her.

The anger you felt before took over you once again, as you found the metal doors of the lab in debris. Quickly, you made your way inside the room and found Jean wasn’t there and that Logan was lying unconscious on the floor. You knelt down by his side, calling him over and over and touching his face and shaking his shoulders until he finally opened his eyes slowly, coming back to reality.

“Logan, what happened?”

“She… she killed Scott. The Phoenix,” he whispered. You could tell he was a little weak and out of breath.

“You’re lucky she just ran away,” you pointed out, helping him to sit down. His eyes were lost in the mess in the room. Tools were destroyed, test tubes broken, crystal was everywhere, and Jean left the reminder of kissing him, yet again, before she escaped. God, he felt so idiotic.

“I’m sorry,” Logan said, looking at you. “Sorry for being a jerk. It’s my fault.”

Taking his cheeks between your hands, you gave him a reassuring look. “We’re gonna find her, okay?”

He nodded. “Yeah, we’ll find her.”

“Come here, we need to alert Charles,” you said, helping him to stand up.

Inside, you knew he wouldn’t really need your help. He was strong and indestructible like the metal on his skull, but he seemed really taken back, and you decided to stay by his side, holding his hand strongly as a way to say sorry as well. It was kind of difficult to see Logan in that state of mind, confused and lost, and you wondered what had happened back there in the lab as you left him in his bedroom, ordering him to rest for a while.

“I’ll be right back,” you assured him with loving eyes.

Logan nodded, following your figure stepping out the room and disappearing in the hallway.

He let out a breath he didn’t know was holding. His mind was having a hard time and his heart felt like breaking, going in two opposite directions, and he hated himself for that. His fate was always the same: losing people he loved and cared for dearly. So seeing Jean back again was as if god or anything up there remembered he existed and brought her back just for him. Or maybe he was just being selfish because he already had you.

You were everything for him. A couple of years might be just a short glimpse for both of you, but he was able to feel peace and calm next to you, and he was sure you did as well. Because some nights, that was all you could talk about. Logan didn’t mind hearing you for hours, it reminded him he was alive. With you, but his stupid instinct had to act.

It was his fault Jean had left. The kiss, the whole act of embracing each other’s bodies for at least two minutes, and then her breakdown, begging for him to kill her… All of that was enough to bring out the beast inside her. And he felt such a jerk now for following his desires. He already had you. Wasn’t that enough?

His thoughts were interrupted once you arrived again, finding him sitting at the end of the bed exactly as you had left him there. Sensing something different on him, you sat down by his side and rubbed his hand gently.

“We might know where she’s going,” you whispered.

“I’ll go,” Logan said before you could finish.

“I’m not sure if I should ask, but are you okay? You could do some rest,” you suggested, since seeing the redhead was clearly getting some kind of reaction from him.

“No, I need to go,” he said. But Logan could read your face perfectly, and he knew you didn’t really like the idea of him leaving the mansion. You turned your eyes, scanning the room and avoiding his gaze.

You had the need to ask what exactly had happened back there with Jean, but you didn’t want to start a fight either. Feeling Logan’s hand on your shoulder, he leaned to kiss your forehead goodbye. Maybe you were the one who should stay, check the kids, the school…

“It’ll be fine,” he mumbled, voice low and deep, as if trying to convince you, but himself as well. You nodded with your arms around his neck, giving him a hug that felt like some sort of apology you weren’t able to say out loud. “Don’t worry, it’ll be fine.”

And how you’d wish things would be fine.

—

The school has been very quiet lately. Too silent even for his taste. At nights like these, he could still feel the vigor and presence of the students running around, grabbing something to eat, planning to go out for a while... Instead, Logan found himself in a place that was mourning. Grieving the loss of Jean, Scott and Charles.

The feelings inside were complicated. He didn’t really feel the same, and the disgrace and remorse of his actions were growing on him. They were still haunting him; every day, every single night. You knew it too. It was impossible to ignore the nightmares each time he woke up from seeing Jean’s lifeless body fall against his own after he gave what she wished for the most: death.

And then, there was you. He noticed how difficult it was getting for you to sleep. You tried to hide your sorrow into your work, studying even more, keeping yourself busy with the school and not thinking about anything else. Since Charles was gone, Ororo took his place and you were her second hand. But you pushed yourself too hard.

Tonight he found your bedroom empty. He didn’t find you on his either, so he went to the place he knew you would be: your classroom. The door was half opened, the dim light of the lamp on your desk barely illuminated the papers on the surface. He found you deeply concentrated reading on something, hands on the sides of your head hiding your face.

“Hey,” he softly mumbled, stepping inside the empty classroom.

You quickly straightened yourself on the chair, wiping your cheeks and tried to look decent for a moment.

“Hey,” you replied back, low voice.

“Come to bed,” he said, coming to stand before you, his hand on your shoulder comforting and soothing you, making its way to the side of your neck. His big palm on your cheek, caressing the skin stained with your tears as if it was the most delicate thing. He took a look at the mess of papers and old books you loved too much to get rid of, scattered on the wooden surface.

“No, I- I can’t. Need to finish these by tomorrow…”

Logan gave you a nod and a grimace before taking your hand, motioning to come closer. You stood up, knowing he was trying to get you out of the work that was consuming you.

He observed every feature on your face, the sadness in your stare couldn’t be hidden. He just knew you too well, just like the palm of his hand, and he wanted to make you forget. At least for a little. You had taken care of him, helped him with your presence and your unique aura, bringing him comfort and peace to his broken mind. He wanted you to be fine. To feel loved.

Logan leaned just exactly to brush his lips with your own, teasing a kiss that he longed too much, his hands around your waist pulling you towards him.

“Can you just let me take care of you?” 

Swallowing hard the knot on your throat, you curled your lips as much as the grief let you. “Yes,” you nodded.

With this, Logan leaned until your lips connected. Your arms around his neck pulled him as closer as you could get, feeling his chest against your own, his strong hands around your waist, softly touching you above your clothes.

Logan slowly walked you until your back hit the desk, hands roaming on your ass down to your legs, placing you to sit down over the loose pages. It might ruin the work a little, but none of you cared. Everything in your head was him, between your legs, running his wet mouth down your jaw, his stubble burning your skin as you gasped gently. Lying on your back on the desk, he began descending down your breasts, unbuttoning your blouse until he exposed you to the cold of the room.

He stopped right on your trousers, and gave you a quick glance. You were so eager, wet already. He could sense it. Your eyes were glowing and you were already trying to catch your breath by just his kisses and touch.

“You locked the door?” you whispered.

“Damn right I did,” he voiced, hoarse and low voice from just thinking of railing you right there and then.

“Then don’t stop.”

At your command, he unzipped your trousers, letting them fall down along with your heels on the floor. He then leaned to take your lips in a sloppy kiss, more urgent this time of feeling you close. You moaned, nails scratching his skin. His calloused hands explored your bare legs and things, creating friction with his hips with slow, controlled thrusts against your crotch. Logan left a trail of kisses down to your breasts, licking and tasting the saltiness of your body.

You urged him to go down where you ached the most, hand tangling on his hair. His hands grabbed the back of your thighs, spreading to him until his nose was almost buried on your panties, smelling and taking the sweetness of your scent, licking softly with his wet tongue over the fabric. A trail of moans and curses left your lips. He pulled your panties aside before diving in your pussy, licking your folds and teasing your hole with two of his fingers.

“Logan…”

His name repeatedly left your mouth like a plea, his fingers now inside you, stretching your walls for him. The noises grew obscene and nasty as he ate you out like a sweet craving he had been denying himself the pleasure for so long.

He was growing hard just by hearing your whimpers, and he needed you. You always were a fucking longing for him. Your words, your intelligence, your beauty… Everything he needed, you had it. And still, he didn’t have any idea of how such a rational, smart woman like you learned to love him so deeply.

You tugged on his hair, hips thrusting up to meet his growling mouth. You were so close, felt almost there where you wanted, but he pulled away before you finished.

Logan unzipped his jeans leaning back, admiring your blissed out eyes and glistened figure.

“Come here,” you begged in a whisper, tangling your legs around his waist.

He let out a low, dirty chuckle, feeling your hands on his boxers, freeing his erection.

“So fucking eager,” Logan breathed kissing your lips, hands supporting his weight at the sides of your head on the desk.

You tasted yourself within the kiss and you moaned at his words, your hand pumped him just enough to feel his pre cum leaking already, lining his dick with your cunt. Inch by inch, he entered slowly so you could get used to his size. Logan pecked your lips gently, kissing your cheeks and the side of your neck to get into your sensitive skin. You tugged on his white shirt so he could remove it and he ripped your bra apart right after. He loved to feel your chest pressed against his own. You gasped but paid no mind, instead urging him to move inside you.

“Shit, Logan please-”

A particular harsh trust caught your breath on your throat. You held onto dear life with your hands on his shoulders. He pounded into you rock hard and deep. So damn deep the desk was shrieking under, papers fell off and the lamp moved at the same rhythm but you hoped it won’t break.

Logan growled, inhaling your scent and tasting the sweat forming on your collarbone, your breasts bouncing against his chest. He felt your nails trailing down his back, and oh, how he wished he could get damn scars on just by fucking you like this. But the view of you, squirming under him, eyes closed, being a whimpering mess… All because of him. He was so insanely in love with your fucked out expression every time.

Your walls clenched, close to the sweet end. Logan felt himself twitching inside your warm pussy and his thrusts were getting erratic and sloppy. He filled you up, reaching his own climax first, hot white ropes of cum painting your insides. Your pussy milked him all the way as he kept spliting you open until you let yourself go, legs trembling around his waist. 

For a moment, you stayed like this, with him kissing your shoulder and caressing your thigh, taking in the aftermath of your intense lovemaking.

“Thank you…”

Your whisper forced him to look up at you. There it was, that loving, sweet gaze you had reserved just for him.

He nodded, palm on your jaw holding you gently. “Of course…”

For some reason, he wanted to voice out for once those stupid three words.

I love you.

Or at least hoped you would do it first.

—

The night was cold under the moonlight, almost freezing. He wondered how he got trapped there, between the messy, withered shrubbery, fog, and the trees of a forest he never recalled knowing. He was alert, senses to the limit in case something might attack him. He felt as if he was being watched, but there were no eyes he could find around. He couldn’t see much like that.

But then a voice started to call his name from afar, claws coming out immediately as he sharpened his senses to find the owner. One, two, three times he heard, trying to find the person who was calling but there was only darkness. His heart skipped a beat when someone spoke behind him.

“Logan…”

He turned on his feet and he felt like dying again. “Jean?”

He withdrew his claws back immediately. The redhead smiled, coming closer until she touched his cheek with a soft hand before pulling away. “How are you, Logan?”

“What-”

“Are you happy now?” she asked, beaming brightly as if they were in a casual conversation instead of the darkness of the woods.

His brows furrowed. She couldn’t be real. She wasn’t there with him. Jean was gone, he had killed her because it was what she wanted. It was her way out to get what she needed; it was the key to her freedom…

“What do you mean?”

“With her… Be careful. You could kill her. Just like me,” Jean whispered, tears forming in her eyes.

Logan stepped back, trying to get away. He shook his head in disbelief, not knowing exactly why Jean was saying this to him.

“No… You’re not real…”

“Everything you love is destined to death and chaos, Logan. You shouldn’t be there,” Jean continued, her eyes switching from her usual tone to a deep black. The ground began trembling under their feet with each step of her, wind building up around. Logan felt truly scared, but somehow he couldn’t run, just stand there as she approached. “All she will know is a life of suffering if you stay. She doesn’t need that.”

“Jean-”

“She doesn’t need you!”

“Jean!”

And then it happened so fast. His claws buried on her chest, the Phoenix disappearing and leaving her to die. Jean collapsed against his body and Logan reminisced about the events of that battle, where he had to choose to be selfish or liberate her from her own demons. Logan wasn’t sure why he stabbed her like this. And when he thought Jean was dead in his arms, she started to call his name again. This time, he heard it far away.

Logan.

Logan.

Logan…

Logan!

His eyes went wide open. And there you were, by his side on the bed, calling for him with a pain grimace on your face. His claws buried on your stomach.

“Logan…” you gasped and he pulled the claws out, but you were already bleeding, your nightshirt and the mattress stained.

“Shit, I’m so sorry, I’m sorry- I-”

“It’s okay,” you managed to say as he caressed your cheek before taking you in his arms hurriedly and quickly made the way out of your room through the halls. “The nightmares… I know, Logan…”

“God, I’m so sorry, please forgive me. Hank!” Logan stood outside the scientist’s door. “Hank, I need your help!”

The commotion caused some of the students to peek from their doors, and Logan waited outside what he felt it was forever under the gazes of the teenagers. It wasn’t the first time he had caused the same accident. The door opened, finally revealing a sleepy Hank putting his glasses on.

There was no need to explain what had happened.

—

“She’ll be stable soon,” Hank informed once he let Logan inside the med bay. “If you hadn’t brought her soon…”

Logan swallowed the knot on his throat, watching your unconscious figure on the stretcher. You already had received blood to cover up what you lost because of the wounds, and Logan’s claws were not minor weapons. His mind was a mess, confusion taking over. He didn’t know how he let this happen. He had nightmares pretty often, yes, but nothing like this.

Maybe Jean was right. Maybe she was trying to warn him about something. Or Jean was just trying to protect you from him. The last one felt more realistic. Logan wouldn’t hurt you, not ever. You talked about how dangerous it was to sleep together not so long ago, but you had insisted on staying. It was the first time something felt so damn real in his dreams and he wished you wouldn’t let him in your room that night…

“She’ll wake up, right?” Logan asked.

“Absolutely,” Hank nodded. “I will need to monitor her vital signs though, hopefully within a day or two she will be normal again… At least she’ll be stable until the wounds heal completely.”

Of course, Logan thought. You didn’t have a healing factor just like him.

“I’ll be right back,” Hank announced before stepping out of the room, leaving Logan alone.

He felt so guilty for doing this to you. For everything. For being the cause of your suffering now. He was a threat and mentally unstable. He was strong thanks to his genes, but he was weak on the inside. He promised countless times to protect you, but he couldn’t avoid hurting you himself. It didn’t matter that it was a very bad dream that felt disgustingly real, he had failed and hurted someone who truly loved. Again.

Taking your hand gently into his, he leaned to plant a kiss on your forehead, wishing it would be just another game from his mind.

But it wasn’t. Now, he had the person he loved the most lying unconscious and hurted because he would let his darkest thoughts consume him.

“I’m sorry,” he mumbled, watching you sleep peacefully. “I should have said it sooner.”

-

PART TWO

[nayatarot777]

Unpopular opinion:

Pride and ego is NOT a bad thing when you correct it and when you build it healthily. There’s a reason why so many women are willing to act like someone they’re not, let a man tell them who they can and can’t be, etc. Who in tf are you in this world? YOU control the answer to that question. And the longer you don’t know who you are, the longer you’ll be manipulated, moulded, and played into being someone else for someone who doesn’t even love you for you. Your ego is your protector. Hence why it’s a natural part of childhood development, around the ages when you get more social interaction with the outside world. So if you’re walking around without much of an ego, you’re walking around with little to no protection. That’s the equivalent to living in a house without locks. Or leaving your car unlocked at all times. Does that sound smart to you? And could you be surprised when you’re an easy victim for others to invade your space and take from you? No. You couldn’t. So for those of you who lack ego and pride and are always taken advantage of: what tf are you surprised or shocked about? You’re literally allowing yourself to step out into the world unprotected. Despite knowing how dangerous the world can be. You’re not a perpetual victim to life. Life/God doesn’t hate you. You’re just a vulnerable person who has, for some reason, kept yourself vulnerable in a place full of danger. Can you be surprised when people view you as someone who’s easy to take advantage of and use? No. And don’t mistake this for being blamed for other peoples actions. That’s on them. But you definitely can be blamed yourself for your actions (or lack thereof), such as: NOT putting in boundaries, NOT protecting yourself, CHOOSING to keep yourself vulnerable.

With that being said, how can someone “love you, for you” when there is no core “you” to show them? And that’s exactly what your ego is. Who you are as a human being that you show to the world. It’s your strengths that you put on the forefront when you’re manoeuvring through life. It’s also a fraction your authentic self as a human being - hence why people who are not authentic have such fragile egos. They’re easily hurt, right? Easily put down and diminished without much confidence left afterwards. The people who either don’t fight back against injustice towards them, or they do, but they don’t know how to fight back effectively. It’s quite illogical to expect for people to love you for you when you wouldn’t even be able to tell/show someone who you truly are - simply because you don’t even know who you are. Or because you don’t think that who you are is good enough so you’re willing to pretend to be someone that you’re not.

Please understand, ladies, this world will chew you up and spit you out if you ALLOW it to. Define who you are and stick to that, and don’t ever change unless the change is what YOU want. More men do exactly the opposite, and that’s why you can’t tell men shit about themselves. For better or for worse. They know who they are a lot more than we do and they stick to it. The ones who don’t are the ones who are taken advantage of by others - just like many of us.

I could never understand how so many girls and women around me were so willing to ALLOW a man to tell them how they should/shouldn’t dress. Who they can and can’t be friends with. Where they can and can’t go. How they can and can’t act - especially in relationships. It confused me and, I’m not gonna lie, I thought that it was just stupidity on women’s part that played a part in that. But I had to check myself and identify the difference between women that I knew who were like that and women who weren’t - instead of just boiling it down to mass idiocy through my own ignorance. I was raised around a lot of brothers, and a Jamaican family in general. Jamaicans are known for being quite prideful (ngl, in more toxic ways), but my brothers would also never allow me to let other people tell me who I should and shouldn’t be. Thats when I came to the conclusion that the major difference is pride and ego (which is heavily linked to self respect and self esteem). Thats when I realised that it wasn’t stupidity - it was brainwashing and conditioning. And I believe that for centuries, men broke down the egos of women because they know the truth about being egotistical. They know that when you’re egotistical, you’re not going to allow someone else to impose on who you think that you are, for the sake of pleasing them. You’re going to be confident in yourself and not put yourself as a lesser being to someone else, which only leads to you becoming a complete people pleaser or a doormat. Basically the perfect victim for those who want to control and manipulate.

There’s a reason why so many women who have acted like doormats feel so much shame after all is said and done. Thats your ego and pride telling you that you deserved better and you knew it deep down the whole time. That you haven’t acted in a way that you can even be proud of yourself (because of your lack of pride). And that you put up with bs that you should’ve cut off time ago. Think about it.

[stnaf-vn]

DUDE!

THERE'S A WHOLE YANDERE ALPHABET!

https://www.tumblr.com/loveundrwrld/744165546988322816/yandere-alphabet?source=share

Sending this to so many blogs omg

Affection: How do they show their love and affection? How intense would it get? Friend shows his love and affection through gift-giving, words of affirmation and physical touch.

Blood: How messy are they willing to get when it comes to their darling? Whatever it takes.

Cruelty: How would they treat their darling once abducted? Would they mock them? Sure you'd be chained up in his basemen by your ankle with only a hatch as an escape, but he'd make sure you are fed and clothed and taken care of. Whatever you ask for (except for leaving), he'd do.

Darling: Aside from abduction, would they do anything against their darling’s will? No. Unless you count threatening anyone who is trying to get close to you.

Exposed: How much of their heart do they bare to their darling? How vulnerable are they when it comes to their darling? Friend wears most of his heart on his sleeve around you. I'd say a good 90%.

Fight: How would they feel if their darling fought back? He'd feel upset, but he knows it's just from shock. You'll be fine.

Game: Is this a game to them? How much would they enjoy watching their darling try to escape? He'd hate trying to see you escape. He needs you, you're his lifeline.

Hell: What would be their darling’s worst experience with them? His anger and his jealousy.

Ideals: What kind of future do they have in mind for/with their darling? Whatever future is you by his side and not you worrying about anyone else, he will accept.

Jealousy: Do they get jealous? Do they lash out or find a way to cope? He does get jealous, a lot. Like, a LOT. He can hold it in for a period of time but if it keeps piling up he's bound to explode.

Kisses: How do they act around or with their darling? Like your best friend! Your charming, sweet best friend you've known for years.

Love letters: How would they go about courting or approaching their darling? Friend already knows you, knows what you like. He'll copy whatever way you enjoy most. He can be direct, he can drop hints, anything.

Mask: Are their true colors drastically different from the way they act around everyone else? Y e s. Friend hates people, almost all people. Except for you.

Naughty: How would they punish their darling? Emotional blackmail and manipulation.

Oppression: How many rights would they take away from their darling? You can't go outside, you can't talk to anyone else. You can stay right there in the little environment he has created for you, surrounded by all the gifts he'd give and the comfort he provides.

Patience: How patient are they with their darling? Friend can be patient, very patient.

Quit: If their darling dies, leaves, or successfully escapes, would they ever be able to move on? No. If you died, he'd kill himself. If you left or escaped, he'd search the ends of the earth to find you. No stone unturned. No matter how long it would take.

Regret: Would they ever feel guilty about abducting their darling? Would they ever let their darling go? Friend would feel guilty about it but he assures himself this is how it is meant to be. No, he would never let you go.

Stigma: What brought about this side of them (childhood, curiosity, etc)? His immediate family died, all of them, in a car crash. He cared deeply for his sisters, and now they are gone. Then, you tried to leave him for other people.

Tears: How do they feel about seeing their darling scream, cry, and/or isolate themselves? He'd be very patient and attending, trying to help in his own weird way.

Unique: Would they do anything different from the classic yandere? Friend does not resort to physical violence against you. He just will slowly break down your spirit. He also is fine with not dating you, you just still can't leave him or be close to other people.

Vice: What weakness can their darling exploit in order to escape? Say you'll stay with him. Be as about him as he is about you.

Wit’s end: Would they ever hurt their darling? No.

Xoanon: How much would they revere or worship their darling? To what length would they go to win their darling over? Friend basically kisses the ground you walk on. Behind the charming, silly facade of your best friend, he will do anything and everything for you.

Yearn: How long do they pine after their darling before they snap? Friend is patient, he can wait. You don't want to date him? That's fine! Just don't expect him to let you have other friends too.

Zenith: Would they ever break their darling? Mentally and emotionally, yes.

[shall-we-die]

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{Love letters}

How would they go about courting or approaching their darling?

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↬[Fandom]•⊰ {Bungo stray dogs}࿐

↬[Warnings]•⊰ {Yandere behaviors}࿐

☰[Main list]•⊰ ────┈┈{0087}┈─╮

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╰┈➤Likes/Reblogs are appreciated࿐

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↬|Atsushi|

Atsushi would likely approach his s/o in a manipulative and obsessive way. He might start off by stalking them and observing them from afar, learning as much as he can about them and their interests. Once he has a good sense of who they are, he may approach them under the guise of being a casual acquaintance, but quickly escalate to being overly attentive and overly protective. He may also manipulate them with gifts and words, trying to make them dependent on him and feel like he’s the only one who truly understands and cares for them.

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↬|Dazai|

Dazai would be very strategic and calculated in his approach. He would likely gather as much information as he can about his s/o, their interests, hobbies, etc. He would use that information to appear to be the perfect match, acting charming and understanding, complimenting and flattering them frequently. He would also subtly make it known that he is not one to be trifled with, as he can be dangerous if crossed. He would make sure that his s/o is completely taken in by his charm, making it difficult for them to resist his advances.

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↬|Chuuya|

Well, the first step of a yandere Chuuyas approach to courting his S/O would be to start observing them closely. Chuuya would keep a close eye on them; he'd study their habits, their favorite things and activities, the way they interact with others, and he'd take everything into consideration before coming up with a plan to approach them He'd try to find a way to get their attention, by showing off his skills or by offering them a small favor, until he gets a reason to speak with them.

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↬|Akutagawa|

Since he doesn't know much about relationships and being with someone he'd start by watching them from afar, probably trying to get as much information on them as possible. He would then make sure to "accidentally" bump into them more often and would slowly start to act more close to them (while still being pretty cold) At some point he'd probably end up in a conversation with them somehow. After this he'd probably start asking more about them, getting to know them more and start showing a little interest.

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↬|Tetchou|

Tetchou, being a yandere, would act pretty normal on the outside like any normal person would approach someone they liked. The only thing different is the thoughts and inner monologue he’d have while talking to them. Inside, he’d be planning out how to make them his, wanting to know everything about them and how get as close to them as he can. He would also be very obsessive over them, never taking his eyes off them. But, all of that would be kept secret behind his calm and normal demeanour.

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↬|Jouno|

Jouno would approach his s/o in a calculated and methodical manner. He would likely start off by observing them from afar, gathering information and understanding their preferences and behaviors. Once he has enough knowledge about them, he would make his move by striking up conversations and slowly building a relationship. He would be charming and attentive, making them feel special and desirable. He may also use underhanded tactics such as manipulating certain situations to his advantage or using information he knows about them to gain their trust. Overall, his main goal would be to win them over and make them completely dependent on him.

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↬|Fyodor|

Would try to spend as much time as possible with the person to figure out what they like and dislike, while also figuring out how vulnerable they are, how much they trust him and would they trust him blindly. Would constantly be around the person, maybe even stalking them, watching them closely and seeing their habits. Would try to give his s\o "gifts" like random chocolate bars and such... Wouldn't give them direct signs at first, would be a bit secretive about his feelings.

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↬|Nikolai|

Nikolai would definitely go all out for his s/o, being very determined to have them. He would probably try to court them in a very over-the-top way, being very flirty and seductive. Nikolai would use a lot of pick-up lines on them and try to flatter them and show off his best qualities. Nikolai would probably try to impress his s/o and show off how charming he could be, and he would definitely not listen to them if they said no. Nikolai is absolutely relentless in the pursuit of his s/o, and will do anything to win them over.

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↬|Sigma|

As a yandere, Sigma would approach courting and approaching his s/o in a very intense and obsessive way. He would go out of his way to get close to them, constantly trying to spend time with her and be around her. He would also pay close attention to their likes, dislikes, and habits, and would go the extra mile to do things for them that he knows they would appreciate. He would also show a deep sense of devotion and loyalty to them, wanting to prove that he's the only person who can truly love and understand them.

||[🄻ove Letters]||

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     ⇆ㅤㅤ◁🄺ㅤㅤ❚❚ㅤㅤ🄼▷ㅤㅤ↻

[jeonscatalyst]

https://x.com/inkedjkk/status/1831670685305114941?t=JUfQ9UQXLYowW2zfP1KgUA&s=19

Mind you this is some 9k+ followers acct

https://x.com/pinkorangesun/status/1831647803803902094?t=Gl9Z92VsCpcCa5GBQKJdOw&s=19

https://x.com/jikookreports/status/1831664356150386976?t=bWMuICdCMpkc3t7MGBTZng&s=19

I actually don't wish to be like a Tkkrs even on my worst enemy cause the guarantee of you ever turning to a normal human is 0 % there.

You know why I would never take these people seriously? They don’t even believe the things they say. They have spent years calling us jokers, laughing at us for believing in what we believe in and thinking we are gullible and stupid for letting the “company narrative” cloud our judgement of reality but look at the things they do. Why on earth would anyone feel the need to intentionally manipulate sub titles just to make it seem like Jk didn’t want to be there unless they are mighty insecure? I swear I wouldn’t feel the need to do any of these unless I am seriously worried that Jk might have been there because he actually wanted to be and I need to convince myself and my minions that he didn’t want to so we can feel better.

The funniest thing is, taekookers will have a much easier time if they just accepted that Jimin and Jungkook are friends who love each other. Because even if you really believe taekook is real why do you need to try to hard to invalidate the friendship of Jungkook and one of the members he’s known for over a decade? Friends can travel and do shows together can’t they? We know that Jungkook has been on multiple private trips with his friends outside of BTS, they’ve been around each other so much in chapter so why can’t they continue believing in their ship and just regard Jimin as one of Jk’s other friends? Unless they can’t do this because there is a part of them that sees exactly what we see and that frightens them. I have recieved asks from people sending me what some of the taekook blogs on here are saying and it is beyond ridiculous.

Imagine claiming that Jk was on his phone alot because Tae wasn’t in this episode like we didn’t all watch Tae spend 3/4 of his time in episode 4 and 5 on his phone when Jk was seated right next to him. So by their logic Tae has another lover who kept distracting him right? Plus Jk was actually on his phone in the episodes in Jeju too but it wasn’t as noticeable because there were two other people we could pay attention to while he was a bit distracted on his phone but when have taekookers ever cared for logic?

Imagine them also saying that Jk looked like he didn’t want to be there with Jimin in Sapporo Lmaoo. I think these people are forgetting that the trip in NY was the only one Jimin himself suggested. The trips to Jeju and Sapporo were BOTH Jimin and Jungkook’s ideas and from the look of things Jungkook might have been the one who suggested they go to Sapporo together, I mean he said this….

They also seem to forget that Jungkook is the one who spoke about wanting to do this till they are 50 and from the look of things he wasn’t joking because after NY, they went on to shoot in 2 other locations and might have done more if they had more time. Untop of that Jk basically spent this entire episode saying this….

I know they have never been good at listening to Jk but isn’t it common sense to know that if someone really doesn’t enjoy doing something they wouldn’t wanna do it again? Plus this whole travel show wasn’t an idea that came from the company (because I jusy know they would throw in the contract bullshit) this whole thing was only possible because Jimin and Jungkook wanted it to be. Jimin pitched the idea to the company with Jungkook’s approval and they made it happen so if Jungkook didn’t want it in the first place, even the NY trip wouldn’t have happened and that’s a fact.

They can go on crying about how Jk didn’t wanna be there even though we know he was the one who wanted to go back, or talk about how Jimin and Jungkook have no chemistry (we all saw the great chemistry taekook had in the jeju episodes with Tae being more interested in his phone and bed than anything else while Jungkook kept talking and interacting with Jimin mostly) but at the end of the day, when they look at this picture they know Jk was happy af to be there and only wanted to go back with the same person he was there with in 2017……

So let the haters cry. Let them gaslight themselves the way Jungkook was trying to gaslight himself about not liking the spicy braised chicken in Jeju lol. Let them continue convincing themselves that Jk had an awful time and only did it because he was contractually bound to while they have to wake up seeing this big smiles on his face while he is having a kdrama moment in the snow with his Jiminie hyung😌

PS: Notice how Jungkook said he normally doesn’t like walking? But we know that the longest walk he has had in his life was in Japan with Jimin where they even had to walk slowly because Jimin’s feet hurt and here he is in Sapporo again walking with Jimin because he doesn’t mind walking in the snow with his Jiminie hyung🥰

[thatawkwardmoth]

Emma and Scott both having shitty parents (not Katherine Summers, I'm never talking shit about her) is just another reason they make a good couple.

Let me explain:

Scott is raised military before he's even a soldier for Xavier. It's little things that show it but, as someone who's dad was raised by a military man, sometimes it's hard for parents to leave the army for Base only. Scott, in the meager amount of scenes we get of his childhood, has almost the same mindest of Dean Winchester in a way. His father gives an order, he might protest but eventually, he always complies. Number one example being the plane crash and the one parachute thing. But also that he spends so much time worrying over Alex. Even after being forced to forget about him, he still remembers parts of him. And yes, it is because that's his little brother and he loves him so much. But it could also be because the phrases: 'look out for your brother', 'Keep your brother safe', 'Watch out for Alex', have been said to him since the day he met Alex in the hospital, newborn and fragile enough that Scott, even at two years old, knew not to be rough.

And it doesn't change, even on the Krakoa arc, he is angry over Alex being placed on Sinister's team. (And sinister referring to the brothers as 'his boys' gives me the ick. They Not Like Us vibes from his character in general when it comes to the Summers brothers…) He can't take care of Alex, make sure he's safe and sound, if he's on the same team as the guy who experimented on a preteen Scott for funsies and genetic testing.

Now, Katherine Summers, we don't have a lot of comics with her. But she's shown as the perfect mother figure, raising two rowdy boys mostly on her own with how busy Christopher is. And Scott and Alex remember her fondly. So no fault to her. But Christopher fucking Summers, every fault to him.

I'm not demonizing him, I need that known. I'm not saying that he's the next John Winchester (because at least he came back to check on his kids, unlike Corsair), I'm just saying that he raised Scott to be the perfect solider for Xavier and the perfect experiment for Sinister. Because he followed orders and he didn't argue back to adults (eventually he did, but you get the point).

Scott has so much unpacked trauma from his childhood and that small series where deplaced Scott is with Corsair doesn't really cover any of it. Neither do modern comics.

Emma, on the other hand, was raised in high society. Has always known the rich life and the challenges and difficulties that come with it. Mainly, her father's goals for her and her mother's long broken soul.

She grew up trying to be the perfect daughter despite being the black sheep. She couldn't meet his goals and faced his wrath for having dreams about being a teacher. His rage followed her into training the Hellions and it led to their deaths.

Now, it's not just her father's temper that is the reason she's got shitty parents. He's a cheater, a manipulator and discards his children like broken toys when they don't follow his strict guidelines of life, ex. Chrisitan being a drug addict, the older sister doing modeling, his younger being more goth and alternative for 'attention' as Emma puts it. Leaving him to pick Emma to continue his company because she's like him, a fact he learns after she blackmails and exposes his affair to his wife. He's willing to let Emma be given a pass on things purely because of his money and only stops her from hooking up with her teacher because it's not who he wants her with. No mind to the fact that he's an adult and she was a child. I hate the teacher thing. Can we tell?

He's a shit father but Hazel Frost is not exempt from my shit talking. She is not Katherine Summers. She's absent most of the time. Being the perfect socialite wife. She doesn't have a life outside of her husband's money and the parties she throws (more garden parties, not Tony Stark rager parties). She cares about her children, yes. But the tiniest amount. She can't bring herself to be there for them when they're going through difficult times. She's been broken by the expectations on her, to be the traditional wife, that she can't be bothered when the affair is revealed to her. It's heartbreaking and it makes me sad but it doesn't excuse the way she ignored her son's drug habit or her daughter's crisis with new powers and bullies at school.

Now Jean Grey has shitty parents but only after she is revealed to be a mutant to them. They sent her to Xavier's school to help her through the grief of her friend's accident and the issues she'd been having recently, not because anyone told them about her mutation. Now them rejecting her did hurt and they played a giant part in her turning into Dark Phoniex. But that happened when she was an adult. For her formative years as a child, they were present and lovely. Even as a teenager, it's shown that she calls them and writes letters and visits them on holidays. So, as much as I am a Jott and Scemma shipper alike, she can't relate to Scott's trauma and parent issues until she herself is burned and abandoned by her own. Emma, on the hand, can. She's had a shitty dad and Scott's had two and one creep that is obessed with him. She's had to mature faster because of her father not paying her ransom and making her rescue herself and decide to run away. Scott can relate to her running away, seeing as it is his favorite thing to do. Ex, the orphanage, Xavier's, Alaska, so on and so on.

Emma has even lost loves before! She was geuinely in love with the guy waiter from the comic series about her life. Was distraught when he died. She's been scorned by lovers before as well. Her teacher that she had a crush on and sabatoged a few friendships in college for (stupid plotline. stupid. stupid.) eventually reveals that he hates mutants and sees them as freaks, making Emma leave him and never look back (finally, my girl was free).

Jean hasn't. She's never lost Scott except when he cheated. She's never had to grieve him or bury him as many times as he has had to for her. Even Madelyne, who scorned Scott for reasons purely blamed on the absolute worst comic book misunderstanding and miscommunication ever, has never related to Scott on those levels. Emma has buried him and been scorned by him and still loves him, is the one he trusts with his resurrections in the Arbor Magna. It really speaks volumes.

And I'm not pitting the two ships against each other. I'm not. I'm pointing out the differences in the way they can relate to each others' pasts.

[animeyanderelover]

It’s been eternities since I’ve written for Death Note. I actually did a request of L and Light falling in love with the same darling but honestly, that’s been so long ago and my skills since then have improved quite a lot so I’ll just do it again.

Tw: Yandere themes, toxic relationship, possessive behavior, obsession, stalking, clinginess, manipulation, delusional mindset, gaslighting, sadism, threats, violence, abduction, isolation

Falling for the same darling

Light Yagami & L Lawliet

✍️​🍰​You'd have to be someone either involved in the Kira case or someone who is close to Light which would make you automatically a victim to L's observation. After all you could be an accomplice of Kira if you were to be someone who Light trusts a lot. Whatever the case is, you will get dragged into this one way or another with those two fighting over you because they will absolutely not share you. Whilst I would say that L would actually be the one who would fall faster for you, especially if you give him lots of sweets, he is the slower one in realizing his own feelings. So whilst Light takes longer to gain an interest in you if he shouldn't have known you much prior to L's involvement, he would be the one to notice his own feelings as well as L's equally big interest in you. It's obvious that the detective has formed an attachment to you as he constantly clings to your side as soon as he sees you and even insists on sharing his sweets with you, not to mention the slight blush he has on his face when you do something that makes his heart flatter.

✍️​🍰​Before Light can even begin forming a plan though, L realizes his own feelings too. It took him only the tiniest bit longer because he has never been in love with someone before and the constant isolation due to his identity having to remain a secret have caused him to not be very in tune with his own emotions yet funnily enough he has noticed Light's interest in you before he fully noticed his own. Now that both of them are on the same page though and both of them are aware of that. From that day on both of them start another warfare behind your back as neither one of them wants to expose themselves to you and to the other just yet. It's still too early. So a lot of hidden blackmailing and subtle manipulation is involved as both of them play tug of war without trying to alarm you just yet. Light and L are constantly testing the other one out as they both start getting more involved with your life.

✍️​🍰​Light initially might have a bit of an advantage over L who has still to figure out how to handle his romantic and obsessive interest with you. He's charming, handsome, intelligent and knows how to flirt with and court someone. So he uses this experience in an attempt to get closer to you as he is a master of acting and tries to manipulate you subtly into listening to him and acting to his liking. He has more freedom than L most of the time as he has a life outside of working together with the police force and L to expose who Kira really is. L is because of the case sometimes more limited as he doesn't spend as much time outside as Light does and especially if you are also in college like Light is, he is aware that the boy has a lot of time he can spend with you. If that is the case he tries to interfere as much as he can by either keeping Light busy or using another cover to just squeeze himself in between the two of you as much as possible. He's like a really pesky leech that refuses to unlatch from you.

✍️​🍰​Your opinion of Kira is important to both of them as they constantly question you about your opinion about him and your own definition of justice as both of them try to manipulate you to agree with their own thoughts. Light has to be a lot more careful than L though because differently from L who makes his dislike towards Kira obvious, Light would potentially expose himself to the detective if he were to admit that he supports him. L might even go as far as showing you pictures of the victims of Kira to mortify you and Light is on the inside always seething as he instantly scolds the black-haired man for his insensitive behavior towards you. Light uses his chances in exploring L's far more obvious awkwardness around you as it is obvious for him that the detective doesn't really know how to behave around you. That leads L to coming over as weird and creepy at times when his dark eyes feel like daggers about to pierce through you, obsessively watching your every move.

✍️​🍰​Despite Light's advantage when it comes to behaving like a normal person around you, L has far more influence than he has. He can easily get his hands on all sorts of information about you and can stalk you by getting all camera footage or even going as far as installing a tracker on you. L is able to keep an eye on you even if you aren't with him whilst Light has to bicker with Ryuk until the Shinigami eventually agrees to stalk you for a bit for Light's sake and in return the boy buys him his beloved apples. Light is fully aware that L could probably take you away by framing you for something within an hour and the only reason he hasn't done it just yet is because he is determined to catch Light in his lies, partially by even using you a bit. I can't exactly deny that both of them sort of explore you to get under the skin of the other one since you're currently their weak spot. They keep their dislike above each other hidden when you are around but as soon as you turn your back to them, they look at each other in discontent.

✍️​🍰​The involvement of Misa is a double-edged sword for both Light and L due to her own obsession with Light. She gets extremely jealous of you because she wants Light for herself and he had to suppress the urge to slap her or even just outright kill her since she possesses the Shinigami eyes and because Rem has also threatened to kill him if anything should happen to her. He is forced to keep her on a tight leash and tell her that she is his only one even if her touch makes his skin crawl. Whilst L is obviously cautious of her because she might be the second Kira, he also explores Misa for his own advantage as he uses her as some sort of cheating code to keep Light busy and hog your attention and time for himself whilst leaving Light silently losing his mind whilst trying to deal with Misa. Tension grows as time passes on though and things start to escalate as Light as well as L start putting you in dangerous situations only to rush to your rescue as your personal hero to earn your trust and gratitude all whilst being the ones who are responsible for it anyways. It doesn't matter who you choose, in the end the one who wins this war also wins you.

Fyodor Dostoevsky & Nikolai Gogol

🍎​🕊️​Surprisingly enough a pair that could work somewhat together although don't just get all comfy because of that. Nikolai already has a weird fascination going on with Fyodor whilst Nikolai is possibly the only member in the Decay of Angels and the only person overall that Fyodor sees as more than just a pawn. The one major problem this interest that both of them share for you initially is Nikolai's desire to free himself from his own emotions. He expresses his wish to Fyodor that he wants to kill you too to free himself from the binding chains that tie him to you and that is one of the few times where Fyodor actually threatens the clown to kill him if he should ever try to end your life. Nikolai can't lie tha he enjoys the fact that he can actually get a reaction out of Fyodor, as subtle as it may be and in an almost weirder sense does he think that the friendship between Fyodor and him deepens as he sees both of them as chained to you because of their shared interest in you. What a wonderful experience this is~

🍎​🕊️​Nikolai is the one who will one day just appear in your life and get in contact with you with his eccentric personality whilst Fyodor remains for now in the shadows and watches everything closely. It's likely that he has made a deal with Nikolai to prevent the clown from possibly ending up killing you by telling him that he'd give him a chance to kill him later as soon as both of them have secured their hold on you. From the very first moment with you, Nikolai is very social and open around you in his own weird ways. Despite his somewhat eccentric ways though, he is actually fun to be around and likeable due to his own quirkiness. He can joke with you and make you laugh and shows you some magic tricks too to keep you entertained all whilst gauging you for every facial expression you can give him. He wants to see everything you have to offer from your joy and laughter to your tears and your sorrow as he sometimes doesn't care when something terrible happens to you as his eyes are glued to your face, gleaming with sadistic joy and fascination.

🍎​🕊️​Whilst Nikolai takes for now over the part of spending time with you and getting to know you personally, Fyodor takes over everything from behind the scenes. He gathers the information about everything else in your life from your family to your friends to your job to your entire past. Both of them exchange intel about you every night over a cup of tea. Most of the time it is Nikolai just gushing and rambling about everything he could observe whilst spending time with you as he switches back and forth between having a sickly infatuated smile on his face to a scarily sadistic grin as he wonders how you would react if he were to kill someone you love in front of you or if he would hurt you. Fyodor just listens calmly to him as Nikolai talks and talks and talks about you, recalling everything about in accurate detail before Fyodor eventually has to interfere or else the white-haired man might talk for hours about you. Nikolai just gets so very easily lost in thoughts of you.

🍎​🕊️​Nikolai doesn't think about stopping Fyodor though when he starts slowly crushing everything you have so carefully built and established in your life. In fact he supports his bestie with this deed as he gets to enjoy you slowly unraveling in front of him each and every day as your life slowly falls apart. He has seen you already expressing joy, surprise and confusion but he has never witnessed you giving him a face full of despair so he sucks your every expression and sound up like a dry sponge with an utterly fascinated and happy grin on his face. The fact that you get freaked out when you notice the smile on his face as he leans closer to you, his gleaming eyes scrutinizing your face closely and carefully to engrave this memory in his mind just like he has done with everything else you've done, doesn't really bother him. Instead he starts questioning you how it feels to lose everything as he chooses to give you some of his quizzes, his scary behavior slowly pushing you away from him. By now it is far too late already though.

🍎​🕊️​You are put in a literal cage by Nikolai's desires as he could spend hours staring at you in it, his hands clutching tightly the bars as a frenzied look appears in his eyes as if he is about to pounce on you every moment now. How does it feel to be a bird without freedom now~? Do you feel the same sweet torment as he does? Or are you just in plain misery? Whatever you feel, he's sure it'll be entertaining. As crazy as it sounds, you almost prefer Fyodor for a while as he is much more calmer than Nikolai as he's the one who actually gives you some information instead of his partner who just toys with you and keeps you on edge all of the time. Sometimes he even apologizes for Nikolai's eccentric and overbearing and if he would have any heart left inside of him, he might even sympathize with you because he is all too familiar with Nikolai's antics by now. If you thought that you were suffering before, you're in a world of pain now.

🍎​🕊️​It is Fyodor who has to establish the boundaries though as his friend is far too volatile as he is guided by his emotions more often than Fyodor. Fyodor and Nikolai obviously both share a sadistic streak so there are times where both of them enjoy your torment and pain together with Nikolai being the more vocal one in expressing his joy over seeing your misery whilst Fyodor is just silently drinking in the sight of your pain. Fyodor knows when to stop though as he punishes you for the most part only until he's broken you and freed you from human's sinful nature, even if he might still sometimes be a bit sadistic. He's composed and controlled but Nikolai struggles with holding back at times as he seems to go back and forth between his behavior. Sometimes he acts like the Nikolai you once knew, all funny and joking with you, and other times he has his hands wrapped around your neck, squeezing until you see black spots dancing across your vision. His feelings have reached a weight, a gravity that pulls him down and even he doesn't know anymore at this point how to feel. He wants to kill-No, he doesn't...But he wants to be free...But can he really...?

Jouno Saigiku & Suehiro Tetchou

♦️​🌸​God, this is going to be so messy because those two just don't get all too well along. They're disagreeing always about something even during their duties and the tension only sharpens as soon as both of them develop an interest for the same person. Saigiku is the first one to notice because of course he can sense Tetchou's quicker heartbeat when around you and all the other sounds from his co-worker's body that go crazy as soon as you are around. In that moment to Jouno feels like this is the worst thing that could have happened to him because from all people it had to be Tetchou. The Hunting Dog doesn't want to share his darling with anyone but especially not with such an hopeless and idiotic optimist such as Tetchou. Now, Tetchou is certainly slower to realize everything that is going on. Chances are that he might be even a bit oblivious to his own feelings at first but seeing how Jouno tries to get involved with you certainly pushes him to notice his own feelings as well as Jouno's mutual obsessive interest in you.

♦️​🌸​He knows what Jouno is like so Tetchou doesn't trust you with his fellow Hunting Dog because he has a strong desire to protect and coddle you as much as he can. Saigiku on the other hand is just a sadistic bastard and he doesn't want you to suffer or to feel any pain because of him. So Tetchou makes it his personal mission to protect you from Saigiku as he tries to glue himself to your side as much as he can. Jouno's involvement is funnily enough the trigger that pushes him to reveal his own unhealthy feelings more to you. He's suddenly overprotective and clingy as he tries to get you to listen to him because he tells himself that he knows what is best for you as you don't know how cruel Jouno can be. Because Jouno is as often with you as he can, Jouno decides to step temporarily back and just observe from the sidelines with a displeased expression on his face. What should he do about Tetchou's pesky behavior?

♦️​🌸​Both of them are somewhat limited though, much to their dismay. Both of them are part of the Hunting Dogs after all and the growing tension between the both of them is palpable and that becomes quickly obvious for the other Hunting Dogs as well. They glare at each other, Jouno's words are snarky and aggressive as he constantly provokes Tetchou and tries to get under his skin whilst Tetchou constantly warns Jouno to not do anything with you through clenched teeth as his hands form into fists. There were a couple of times where it almost looked like the situation would escalate and both of them would just fight but eventually Fukuchi gets involved and forces both of them to sit down together with him. Let's talk to each other, okay? Despite those friendly words, he as a threatening and displeased aura around him due to their immature behavior and so both of them are forced to admit what their problem is.

♦️​🌸​Fukuchi looks somewhat bamboozled as he realizes that the main problem is that two of his subordinates have just gotten quite attached to the same person whilst Teruko is laughing her ass off in the back and tells both of them that she'd like to meet the person who made both of them act this way. The old man quickly regains his composure though and reminds both of them that they are Hunting Dogs and that they have a duty to fulfill and that does not include constantly brawling and looking like they're about to kill each other. They have too much value as Hunting Dogs for the government so they wouldn't be thrilled either if they were ever to find out that there is such internal conflict between Tetchou and Jouno. Fukuchi decides to give both of them a chance to figure this out themselves though before he or the government get involved because they can not afford to have those two possibly drag down the efficiency of the Hunting Dogs because of their feelings for you. Either they work this out themselves or you have to leave the picture via Fukuchi or the government.

♦️​🌸​It's a threat that both of them know will become reality, they know better than to underestimate Fukuchi just because of his sometimes questionable antics despite his age. So Jouno approaches Tetchou not long after and whilst the dark-haired man doesn't even want to look at Jouno, he listens as Jono forces the idea of a cooperation out of him. He'd rather nail his tongue on the wall than do this but now both of them have been pushed in a corner with no real other way out. It isn't even the government both of them are worried about, it's more the lingering threat of Fukuchi and the likely involvement of Teruko since she is extremely loyal to her captain that manages to keep both of them on some sort of leash. They argue still though as Jouno wants you locked away and isolated and Tetchou disagrees as he still wants you to retain some right for freedom. Both of them ultimately can agree on moving you into an environment that both of them can supervise more closely. If an enemy would find out about your connection to them after all, this all could get very bloody and troublesome.

♦️​🌸​Honestly, if it wouldn't be for Fukuchi who manages to have some amount of control over them, both of them would have gotten into a lot of serious fights by now. They can never agree on anything when it involves you besides brutally murdering everyone who dares to hurt you. Tetchou is too lenient and weak for you in Jouno's mind and Jouno is too uncaring and sadistic in Tetchou's mind. They can literally not stand to be in each other's presence and so both of them have to be left alone with you because it would end in another huge conflict if they would try to share you whilst in the same room. The relationship is restricting and suffocating because both of them bring the worst out in each other as their behavior escalates. Jouno grows even more possessive and controlling over you whilst Tetchou grows all the more overprotective and clingy. You probably still prefer the dark-haired male though because he at least knows how to express his emotions around you whilst Jouno still struggles to be more vulnerable around you and your preference for Tetchou does not help him to be nicer.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

WIBTA for getting someone kicked out of our school's theatre program???

i (18x) have this friend (18f) i'll call whitney. we met through the school's theatre program and have known each other for about 3.5 weeks.

for a while i really, really liked whitney!! she was super cool and funny and i wanted to be friends with her!! but the first time we ever hung out outside of rehearsal, she made a joke about how i was vulnerable and easy to manipulate due to my mental illness and how she would love to be my shitty boyfriend and treat me terribly. i know she meant it as a joke and it WAS funny in the context of the show we just did, and i didn't take offense (it was true), but i kept thinking about it for a while and what a weird thing it was to say to someone you don't know very well.

last night she invited me back to her dorm and i went and we talked for a few hours. everything was normal at first and she was super cool. then she told me that she used to run a proana blog on tumblr where she had 5000+ followers and posted "tips and tricks." that would ALREADY be bad, but then she told me she's never actually had an ed. she just thought it was funny to see how many people would interact with her posts. as someone who used to have a pretty severe ed, and still does to a much lesser extent, i was really triggered and on the verge of tears. i tried to redirect the conversation a few times and when whitney wouldn't change the subject, i had to call my roommate to come save me.

i really don't want to be around her in the future. she consistently makes me uncomfortable. i was considering bringing it up to some of the members of the exec board of our theatre troupe, who are my friends; however, nothing she ever said was IN the context of theatre or related at all to the program, so i feel like she never violated the "making people uncomfortable" policy of the troupe. she just happens to be a shitty person OUTSIDE of theatre. and i know theatre is one of her safe spaces that i really really don't want to get her kicked out of for no reason. but at the same time, i don't want to have to make the choice between a) not doing theatre or b) spending all my time around her when she says shit like this.

(also worth noting that we're in college so rules about what a person in the program can or cannot do are much less strict and much more up to the exec board's, and college's, discretion as opposed to high school theatre where all extracurriculars are regulated by the principal.)

WIBTA if i talked to the exec board about her??? i feel like i'm overreacting but this seems like really shitty behavior

What are these acronyms?

[golbrocklovely]

outsiders // colin and penelope

A/N: i know this is unlike anything i've posted before on here. i'll be honest, idk how else to explain this other than i direly need to see luke newton play a vampire, so this is about as good as it's gonna get until then. this is also very vaguely based off of a tweet that said this picture of polin makes them look like a cunty vampire couple and you know what??? they ain't wrong about that lol i used direct lines from the show, particularly in the drinking scene with the boys and the carriage love confession (which will be in part two). there are also some quotes and line sprinkled throughout that are similar to those in the show/book. but most of the dialogue is not from the show/book directly. also this is the first time i've ever written a fanfic using characters rather than real ppl… well minus a spn fanfic i never finished. so, please be kind since it's all fiction anyway. hope you enjoy and lmk what you think :)

prompt: Colin is trying to deal with the fact that he is not only in love with his best friend, but that he is incredibly lost as to who he is as a person. It also doesn't help that he's a monster; a vampire. Pen just wants her freedom, her ability to be Whistledown without anymore people finding out. And in her mind, Debling is the solution to her problem. But one fateful night brings Penelope and Colin together in ways they never imagined.

trigger warning: jealous!colin, protective!colin, AU!vampire, the entire bridgerton family are vampire, colin's friends are dicks lol, formal english (but that's a given), vampire powers, manipulation, ANGSTY AS HELL, idiots to lovers (not until part two), somewhat of a cliff hanger but not really since the next part will be out soon, mentions of blood/blood drinking

word count: 3054

~~~~~~~~~~~

Colin knew deep within himself that going out with Fife and the rest of his so-called friends was a mistake. Mostly because his mind was preoccupied tonight, many thoughts swirling around him; all of which pertained to a certain red head he had known since childhood. The mistake was thinking that he could relax while being around these exhausting men and their childish ways.

However he really did need some revelry after what he witnessed during the day.

When he walked into the library party and caught Pen with Debling, smiling and laughing at whatever he was saying, his blood boiled. A permanent frown etched into his face and had stayed there the entirety of the day.

"Say, what ails you, Bridgerton? Are you not enjoying your night?"

Colin turned to Stanton, blinking slowly. He took a swig of his drink, shaking his head. "I am well. Please continue with your story."

Stanton smirked, turning back to the table, "On my Grand Tour, I encountered this Greek girl in the Balkans. My bear leader..."

Colin zoned out again, unable to truly listen much longer to the men's stories of different conquests they had over the summer. His mind was still reeling, his thoughts ever consumed by the image of Penelope. Of their shared kiss. Of his constant reoccurring dreams of her and him. 

"She sounds like the young woman who made my time in the French Quarter worth the length of the voyage. Much to offer upstairs, and I do not mean her mind." Lord Wilding motioned with his hands, causing all three men to burst into laughter. Colin sighed, staring at the ground for a moment.

Fife looked up at Colin, "What about you, Bridgerton? You were gone for quite a while. I am sure the girls of summer made your trip quite... fulfilling?"

The gentlemen chortled, and Colin could feel them all eyeing him, waiting for an answer. "I did tell you my story of the contessa, did I not?"

"Yes, but you did not give details." Stanton whined.

Colin half-heartedly smiled, "Well, a gentleman must keep some things to himself."

Wilding pffted, "Oh, come now. I do not see a gentleman amongst us."

"I concur with you there." Colin shook a finger at them. The gentlemen gave him a quizzical look, freezing him for a moment. "Oh, forgive me… But it is tiring, is it not? The necessity imposed on us to remain cavalier about the one thing in life that holds genuine meaning. Do you not find it lonely?"

Colin gazed upon the men, hoping to see agreeing eyes; but instead the table chuckled at his expense. He sat back in his chair, defeated.

"This wouldn't have anything to do with a certain Featherington girl, now would it?" Fife teased, his glazed eyes staring at Colin's face.

"You know, Bridgerton? Congratulations are in order. I heard that apparently Debling plans to propose to her." Stanton raised his glass, "The marriage mart whisperer actually made a match. Cheers."

"May God have mercy on that poor man's soul." Wilding whispered, finishing his drink.

Colin narrowed his eyes, "I beg your pardon?"

"I know you have a fondness for the girl, but I cannot fathom what type of wife she would be. I would never marry a Featherington, but especially Penelope." Wilding remarked, almost disgusted.

"Maybe that's why Debling plans to travel for years." Fife quipped.

"Well, like your lady in the French Quarter, she at least has a lot to offer upstairs." Stanton snickered.

Colin leapt to his feet, his chair slamming to the floor. His hands were clenched tightly at his sides as his anger raged through him. His red eyes shot up, glaring deeply into the gentlemen's souls, captivating them instantly.

"You will never speak about Penelope or the Featheringtons ever again. And if ever asked about them, you will say nothing but the kindest of words." Colin grunted, his gaze shifting from man to man, "If I ever hear you speak badly about her or her family again, I will tear your throat out with my teeth. Your trivial existence will be ended, and the ladies of the Ton will be better for it... Know this as true, but forget I said this."

The gentlemen blinked rapidly, clearing their throats and looking at each other confused. Fife glanced behind Colin, "What happened to your chair?"

Colin smoothed out his vest, calming himself, "Oh, it must have fallen over when I stood up. Goodbye gentlemen, I am growing rather tired of this night."

~~~

Colin had the privilege of being born a vampire; and with that privilege came the ability to manipulate those around him. However, there were only two types of people he couldn't manipulate: other vampires - which really only applied to his family since he knew of no others - and those he was in love with. That applied to all the Bridgerton siblings. It was their own little family quirk, as they so lovingly called it. In a way, it kept everyone in check. Because they knew out of everyone in the Ton, the people they loved couldn't fall victim to their ability.

But luckily for everyone in the Ton, the Bridgertons were a good family. Violet had taught her children to seldom use their ability, and the children all followed suit. Hyacinth and Gregory did occasionally use it on the maids in the house, so that he could get extra sweets or she, the latest issue of Whistledown before bed; but for the most part all of the Bridgerton siblings fell in line with Violet's beliefs. 

While most of the Bridgertons enjoyed being vampires, Colin did not. Maybe it was because he was battling with himself over who he truly was. All this did was make him feel even more like an outsider. He wanted to be normal, to be known and loved for who he is, but how could he? He was a monster.

And now this monster, deeply annoyed by the past couple weeks of events, was on the search for blood.

Colin did not enjoy hunting. In the day, when he couldn't hunt, it was easier to forget what he was. But at night, his cardinal urges always came to the surface. 

Hunting on the poorer side of London wasn't challenging. There was always someone out and about. And Colin only needed a little bit of blood. None of them ever killed; the rule was only take what you need and leave no trace. And they were all excellent at that.

The worst that could happen was being caught by authorities. Or even worse, somehow ending up in Lady Whistledown.

Colin lurked around a corner, waiting impatiently for a passerby. He glanced at the printer shop, the light inside telling him someone was there. He needed to move further away, in case those inside would hear his victim if they were to scream out suddenly.

He casually walked down the cobblestone street, his sense of smell picking up someone near. It was a woman; that he was sure of.

He knew he should have just drank from the prostitutes, the ones he couldn't even bring himself to sleep with tonight. But he didn't like the idea of drinking from them. They oddly had shown him kindness, something he couldn't even acquire from his friends.

A woman rounded the corner. She was young, and her dark black hair was slightly unkempt. Colin rushed over to her, their eyes meeting instantly. The only sound she was able to make was a small gasp.

"Don't be scared, Miss . This will be over quickly. I'm just so...." he swallowed hard, "hungry."

Colin cupped the woman's face, turning her head so her neck was more on display. His fangs grew, his mouth watering at the thought of blood. Her pulse had quicken when he rushed her, her blood now calling his name. He sunk his teeth in, moaning as the liquid poured into his mouth. He closed his eyes, his thoughts shifting slowly back to familiar ones...

Penelope. 

He hated admitting it, but he had wanted to drink from Pen. His dreams not only consisted of touching her in the most inappropriate ways or confessing that their kiss was all he thought about; it was how he longed to bite her neck, taste her salty skin and rich blood. He knew she would be heavenly, but he never allowed himself to ponder on it too long. These were fantasies after all. She would never, ever find out what he was. And he would not damn her to a life like this.

He groaned against the woman's neck, lapping up spilt blood. Penelope was haunting him, even in real life. How was it that he could smell her, even right now? Even with his mouth on a different woman's neck, drinking her life essence, was he able to feel Pen's presence? It's like he could hear her say his name.

Colin glanced up, the printer shop illuminating the archway leading onto the street. A short person stood frozen, watching him. 

He froze too, his eyes focusing on the figure. The woman in his arms slurred incoherently. His eyes connected with her for a split second, telling her to forget what occurred and to go home. He pushed her off down a separate street, his eyes remaining on the silhouette.

He took a whiff of the air, his eyes widening.

The person ran the opposite way, racing back towards a carriage nearby. Colin made it there long before they could, grabbing them by the shoulders and pushing them up against the wall. His hand covered their mouth instantly, staring deep into the blue eyes he was captivated by since childhood.

"Penelope?"

~~~

Penelope had known the Bridgertons were vampires for years. While she might have met Colin first, Eloise had been her closest friend; mostly because it took Pen a while to really strike up the courage to actually talk to Colin. But when Eloise and her were young, outside and playing in her mother's garden, El casually told her what she was. At first, Pen didn't believe her. Who would believe such a thing without proof? El suddenly waltzed up to a butler nearby and told him to start doing a dance for her, and he did. The girls laughed at the sight, and from that moment on, Pen knew.

She never asked questions, but she was curious as to what vampires were really like. El wouldn't confirm anything to her, understandably wanting to keep some things private. And once Lady Whistledown rose to power in the Ton, El was even more hush about vampirism. Pen could tell she was nervous about her family's secret getting out there. But Pen assured her that Whistledown would never write on such a thing, otherwise she would become the laughingstock of Mayfair.

And now with El completely ignoring her because of Whistledown, she hoped that El understood that statement still rang true. While she would write about what everyone was talking about, no one but her knew their real secret. She would never share it, even if her and Eloise were no longer close.

The carriage came to a stop, the footman opening her door swiftly. She stepped out, the newest addition of Whistledown in her hand. She smirked as she read it over, noting how many in the Ton were speaking on her and Debling's possible engagement. While Pen did not enjoy being the center of attention, she did enjoy knowing that the sniveling mamas of the Ton were wrong about her.

Not only was Penelope courted, she was going to get married. That is, assuming she accepted Debling's proposal. Or that he actually planned to ask her mother tomorrow.

A life with Debling seemed... fine, to her. And if that's all she could get, she would take it. She wanted a love filled marriage, that was true; but maybe time would change that. It's possible that Debling one day might love her. Or that she may grow to fully accept what she had.

Part of her hated admitting it, but her feelings for Colin were still there too. But she accepted that reality as a fantasy and nothing more. Somehow, vampires were real, but Colin reciprocating her feelings wasn't. 

God had a very wicked sense of humor.

She walked down the street, turning the corner to the printer shop. When she raised her hand to knock, something caught her eye. She gazed down the street, two figures stood out in the open. It appeared to be a man and a woman. She squinted her eyes, watching them. The man cupped the woman's jaw, burying his face into her neck. Pen blushed at the notion. She had thoughts similar to that of her and Colin. Dreams, even. But to see two people doing something like that, so out in the open, was very scandalous to her. She wanted to look away, but curiosity got the better of her.

The couple swayed into the light unintentionally, and Pen's eyes widened.

The man's mouth was latched onto the woman's neck, and she was limp in his arms. It almost appeared like he was biting her. As she took in the man, she noted his dark brown coat. His tall stature and quaffed hair were familiar to her. It almost looked like...

"Colin?" She whispered.

The man looked up, locking eyes with Pen. She gasped, seeing his face for the first time. Dear Lord in Heaven, it was Colin. His mouth was stained red from blood and his fangs were prominent, even from such a distance away.

Her heart raced, and she knew she needed to get out of there, now.

She spun on her heel, running back to the carriage. Before she was able to get remotely close, her body was pushed up against the wall, her mouth covered.

"Penelope?" Colin hissed, his red eyes almost glowing in the dark.

She studied his face, taking in the features she had yet to see of him. His eyes were the most surprising, but his fangs were shocking up close.

"I am going to remove my hand. Please don't scream." He moved his hand slowly, her face feeling hot from his skin touching hers. "What are you doing out here?"

"I could ask you the same question, Colin." Pen argued.

"It is none of your concern, Pen. Whatever you saw..." Colin fought to speak, "was not what it looks like."

Pen suddenly became aware of the Whistledown papers in her hand, "Well, if that's the case, then I should be heading back home."

"You didn't answer my question. Why are you-" He began.

She cut him off, trying to sidestep him. "Colin, I need to-"

"What is that in your hand?" He questioned, pointing down.

Her blood ran cold. "W-What?"

Colin grabbed the papers from Pen's hands before she could stop him, her heart dropping instantly.

He gazed at the papers, reading over the words hastily. She backed up, her body hitting the wall. His stare hardened, eyes watering. "You're... Whistledown."

The hurt in his eyes, his voice, made Pen instantly tear up, "Colin, please I can-"

Colin backed away from her, "I cannot believe this. How could you?"

Pen wiped away her tears, "I am terribly sorry, Colin. Please let me expl-" 

"No, no. I do not want your explanation. What is there to explain? Clearly you are the one who has been writing such horrid things about my family. I cannot believe you would do this to us. To El." He choked out, "To me."

She begged, "Colin, let me explain myself."

"On top of being Whistledown, you come out here in the middle of the night to do your dealings. Unchaperoned, and presumably with no one knowing where you are. You could seriously get hurt! Not only could you ruin your reputation, but you could be harmed. How can you be so careless, Penelope?" He furrowed his brow, his eyes boring into hers.

Pen hated being talked down to. Who was Colin to act so scared for her safety, or her reputation for that matter? He was a vampire, for God's sake. She spat, "The only thing out here that seems to be harmful is you, Colin."

She knew she made a grave mistake. Damn her mouth.

Colin's eyes glowered at her, his body tensing. "What did you say?"

"I-I," Pen took a moment, gathering the courage to speak. "I saw you, Mr. Bridgerton. You weren't simply... caressing some random woman on the street. You were feeding on her. You're a vamp-"

He glared into her soul, demanding, "You are going to forget we had this conversation. You are going to forget what you saw moments ago. You are going to go home. Now."

Pen copied his gaze, shaking her head. "Who are you to tell me what to do? Have you gone mad?"

This was a terrible time to find out that Colin was, in fact, in love with Penelope. He knew he was, but the timing of it all really could not have been worse.

Colin growled, walking up to Pen's carriage door and opening it for her. "Get inside, Penelope. We will talk about this on the way back to your home."

"How can I trust to get in a carriage with you? Are you still hungry?" She sassed, her hands on her hips.

He lowered his gaze, his eyes darkening. "Do not make me force you inside."

Her skin felt hot suddenly, his tone hitting deep within her body. She had never seen Colin like this, and she wasn't sure what to make of it.

Her mind was cautious, nervous. But her body... felt something else entirely.

She sighed, stepping inside her carriage with the help of Colin. He followed her in, sitting across from her. He called out to the footman to go to the Featherington residence.

"Take the long way, please." Colin sat back against the seat, staring at Pen.

"Make a stop at the Bridgerton's house first... please." She called out. The footmen acknowledged their commands, and Colin rolled his eyes at her petty attempt of control. She squirmed under his gaze, unable to make eye contact with him.

He asked bitingly. "Should you start or should I?"

|| Part 2 >>

[bones-of-a-rabbit]

Some betrothed/royalty au doodles, ft. Reader soothing Eclipse during one of his stressed-to-the-point-of-breaking-down-moments, and the first time Reader met Sun (and, not realizing who he was or that he was a royal, decided to start happily chatting with him as if they were on the same level, which caught Sun off guard lmao)

Some betrothed/royalty AU tidbits n info below the cut!

- Reader is a footman! Or,, lady in waiting. Or foot,,person,,, in waiting. Whatever the gender neutral version is, they’re that to Eclipse!

- They’ve known Eclipse for a long time! They were born to a servant who worked in his castle, and tended to follow their mother around as she worked- occasionally crossing paths with Eclipse, and sometimes playing games with him when he was avoiding his tutoring or responsibilities sjdhdjd

- They’re smart and practical, and Eclipse wants to make them his advisor as soon as he has the jurisdiction to do so. They’re very good at seeing the issues politicians debate over from the outside view, one of the people, but also can keep in mind what the political side to an issues is, and Eclipse often asks them what they think when they’re alone and considers it very unfair that their voice would never be taken seriously if brought up at the table.

- Eclipse has had a crush on them for a while lmao

- Also he’s over protective and jealous and has broken at least one(1) bone in defending reader from a rude servant or pushy royal lol :3

- (he has extensively researched ways he could possibly marry Reader without making the entire kingdom hate them n call them a manipulative vex for it)

- Sun and Moon overlook two neighboring kingdoms and have been ‘betrothed’/co-ruling them for a long time! Eclipse’s counsel has decided it would be a good idea to have Eclipse, when he takes charge of his kingdom, be the third to this ally-ship and make a trifecta of three countries that can act as one

- So they’re not really BETROTHED betrothed, but the social implication is basically the same lmao

- (none of them r super thrilled, Eclipse especially lmaoooo)

- Reader first meets Sun separately from Moon, and assumes he’s just a fellow servinghand at the banquet being held to celebrate Eclipse n Sun n Moon meeting under the same roof for the first time

- They start chatting with him like it’s no big deal and he’s so used to ppl being all kiss-ass or backhanded that he can’t stop thinkin abt it for days

- They meet Moon in the garden! They show him their favorite spots and a small patch of blue violets they’ve been trying to cultivate

- When they realize who Sun and Moon are, they just about die on the spot from pure societal horror

- They try to apologize in a thousand different ways, but Sun n Moon, more than a little intrigued/smitten with them, both won’t have it and encourage them to be just as they were

- Before Sun n Moon realize they have feelings for Reader, they realize ECLIPSE has feelings for Reader, and, definitely not bc they r big jealous and also in love with Reader, make it their personal mission to cockblock make sure Eclipse never has the chance to confess or have an almost-kiss with Reader

- Reader loves Eclipse! When that love turned romantic is unsure, and how they’ve been able to cope is by Not Acknowledging The Feelings At All and also denial lmao. When they start to crush on Sun n Moon, they can’t rlly deny the feelings anymore and have several existential and romantic themed crises over it

- None of the boys tell each other about their feelings for Reader bc they all just messy like that <3

- When they all end up confessing to Reader, it’s separately and secretly, and Reader is so shocked that they just say “HHUH UM YYEA I LIKE U ALSO” without thinking

- So now they have three secret royalty bfs and have several more existential crises about whether this is cheating and how in the good golly fuck they got THIS many sweet mans all 🥺👉👈 over them

THATS ALL I GOT FOR NOW LOL OK BYE SORRY FOR LENGTH N RAMBLES

[the-great-papyru]

Flowey and Friendship

prior to true pacifist, flowey does not know what friendship is. and how would he?

this is going to be a lot, so actual post under the cut. (figured out how to do that)

let’s start at the beginning. asriel was not known for having a lot of friends. to be blunt, he had one and only one. and that friend is not known for being an exceptional influence. this is not to say that they were horrendous, or cruel, or didn’t care for asriel. but they certainly had an odd way of showing that care.

their end goal was the freedom of monsterkind. and this is an admirable goal. and i’m certain asriel was more than a minor inspiration for this goal. this monster had shown them more love than they’d ever experienced! they felt the need to return the favor.

but enough about chara, they’re a topic for another time. the point is, they tried to help asriel. that was their motive. and what a nice motive! their methods, however… were less than nice.

sound familiar yet?

maybe not. just in case, let me dive deeper into their “methods.” these mostly included stringing asriel along and telling him whatever they thought he needed to hear to follow them in their plan. whether that was to toughen up, an assurance that he’d be with his friend the whole time, or a way to disconnect the souls from the lives he had to take. not to mention omitting information, lying in some form or another…

it was manipulation for a greater good.

exactly what flowey was up to in his early resets. flowey became “friends” with everyone. not even he believes that it was actual friendship. and he is correct.

during the early resets and reloads, however, flowey likely had no idea what he was doing. as far as he knew, friendship was a one-sided effort. a give and take relationship where one gives and another takes. he hadn’t learned it any differently. yes, he cared for chara, of course he cared for chara! and he had taken them in, he did try to help them out… but when it came down to it, they were the one in charge. and the rest was lost to flowey. besides, what was the problem with helping everyone out?

“flowey” wasn’t a product of boredom. he wasn’t a product of curiosity. flowey became who he was because he wanted to reach the best possible ending.

flowey became who he was because he wanted to help people, not because he wanted to hurt them.

and that’s the thing i don’t think he realizes. he never understands that the reason he doesn’t truly have a friend is because he’s working too hard at it. instead he blames it on his lack of a soul. how can he be expected to make friends if he can’t feel love for them?

in fact, this mentality is probably another part of what drove him to his behavior in the first place. before he even started “helping” others, he was confident that he’d never have a true friendship, if he couldn’t even love the people he tried to “befriend.” it was skewing his view from the start. a self-fulfilling prophecy. flowey considered himself part of the outside from the very beginning. he focused all his energy on helping everyone else and none on actually… building a friendship. it’s hard to focus on that when you’re not willing to share anything about yourself. there was a task, flowey needed it completed, simple as that.

flowey also has a lot of distrust and paranoia built up. most players should know by now of the dialogue you get from multiple neutral routes in a row. for just a second, he believes frisk might genuinely want to be friends with him.

and then he immediately shuts the possibility down. now, i think there’s two factors to this.

first of all, they remind him of himself. he’s convinced himself that he’s emotionless, that he can’t feel, so frisk is probably the same. he’s shut himself off from caring. he’s scared that if he believes that they care, he might care too. one of his greatest fears is losing control. if he cares and they lie, he’ll be left powerless. so it’s safer for him to close himself off entirely. he has lost one friend. he refuses to lose another.

second, there’s the certainty in flowey’s mind that he simply cannot reciprocate that caring. why should frisk care about someone who can’t care back? why should anyone? and he hates that feeling of not feeling. he’ll do anything to avoid that. of course he starts killing, of course he starts thinking of people as toys, if he thinks of them as people he has to come to terms with the fact that they are people, that he should care about but can’t. but you don’t have to care about a toy.

in summary, flowey imposes isolation upon himself and refuses to feel.

what about true pacifist, then?

true pacifist is what really give flowey’s arc some closure. because in true pacifist, he opens up a bit. he cares about chara, they’re the one person he’d allow himself to feel for. so it’s fitting that the person he thinks is chara is the one he reveals his identity to. he wouldn’t show anyone else he’s asriel, but chara deserves to know.

and then he shows off for them. not entirely sure why. maybe he feels the need to prove himself to them. prove that he’s not “weak” anymore. that he could kill any number of humans without blinking, if chara wanted him to.

asriel was loyal to a fault, and that loyalty just became greater the more chara faded from a person to an idol. eventually flowey just molded the idea into whatever he thought of it (see post-ruins genocide monologue). they were placed on a pedestal. he didn’t even have to do the placing, monsterkind had that covered already.

chara became a mentality. “kill or be killed.” it’s not some evil mantra. it just means “be strong enough, stop caring enough that you can never be hurt again.” LOVE is a measurement of your ability to inflict pain on others. it’s a measurement of how much you steel your heart against empathy. hp, defense… they both increase when you gain LOVE. you can hurt more. you can get hurt less. and the way to gain it… “kill or be killed.”

the final battle isn’t about defeating some cosmic soul-stealing threat. it’s about helping a lost kid understand that it’s okay to feel.

the souls?

they had nothing to do with it.

[headingalaxys-spicy]

Yandere British empire England x motherly nation reader. After meeting her via catching her in the act of playing with chibi America he decided 'Yep, that's my wife' since she has his ideal traits of a woman (beautiful, motherly, ladylike and timid). But since he's an empire and has his hands full, he knows he doesn't have time to court her properly. So he resorted to manipulation and social pressure. First he used chibi America and made him get attached to her to the point where she's barely able to leave their house, and then proposes a union between them in front of his monarchy, her monarchy, and lil' America. Who all proceed to encourage her to say yes due to all the benefits, despite really not wanting to because she's uncomfortable with the Brit. Since he has made his infatuation known through bold and uncomforting means but being nice and afraid of what he'll do if she rejects him. Just let it all slide and pretended to be flattered, because she's a bit of a pushover.

I finally finished this one. I hope you enjoy! Sorry for the long wait!

The summer sun hits your skin, giving it a shimmery glow. The gentle breeze plays with your long, flowing hair. That's when you felt the tiny prying eyes on you once again.

You place down the book you were reading.

“I know you’re there, dear. You can come out. It’s okay.”

You knew you had stumbled upon an emerging country since there was no way a toddler like him could roam around on his own like he is. Not to mention that he was carrying with him a large Mastiff dog on his shoulders.

Since little America was lonely, you devoted much free time to the lonely child. He didn’t have his father figure around often due to being on the battlefield, being on the seas, or finding some new place to plunder. Said figure wanted you & so did little America who was always left to his own devices.

You never really did get to know America fully before he started to bring you over to the home that he England, Canada, & occasionally France (after he’s forced him to grovel at his feet when he’s lost another battle to him). It wasn’t long before you found yourself as the main caretaker. You made his meals, taught him how to cook, how to sew, [insert one of your talents here] , & other basic home ec skills.

“Y/N! Y/N! How does this one look? I made it for you! You should try it!” America excitedly bounds over to you with a sloppily made but made with tons of love put into the apple pie.

You were outside tending to the flowers when the hyper young boy raced to you to show off his creation. You’re amused by his intelligence and adaptability.

“Good job, Alfred. You’re resilient & will make a fine country one day.” You pat him on the head, admiring the fact that the entire kitchen wasn’t set ablaze.

“[Country Name]?”

“Yes?”

“Are you going to marry Britain?”

It felt as though someone had punched you in the guts.

“I ….. What in the world had prompted that question?” Bewildered, concluding that England was in little America’s ear again about being married and having a merger of your governments.

“Britain, he complains about being lonely a lot. And wanting to have someone. And you’re a nice nation who’s good with lots of stuff. You could fix his problem. You’re also really nice to me and my twin brother Canada when he’s over. You make the best pastries and breakfasts! When Britain is here he lo-”

“NO! America….No, we’re good friends…. And thats enough.” Weary of more conversation about pressuring nuptials onto you. You try to divert his attention to something else.

You pick him up and swing him around to change the subject abruptly.

“Anyways have you ever had a chance to find that secret meadow? I heard it has species of flowers we haven’t been able to document yet!”

“Oh so you’re scared.”

Ice freezes over your entire body, and you come to a complete stop. You hated how he was right. You hated how the truth within you was always so see-through. However, that didn’t mean that you weren’t determined to keep up the facade that all of the inquiries, pressure, & prodding didn’t eat away at your nerves.

“No….no. I’m just good on my own America. I don’t need to be married to Britain to be ‘happy’

& ‘fulfilled’. I’m alright”

You wished that Britain wasn’t so sneaky about putting ideas into people’s ears because when he did said thing it spread like wildfire.

‘Damn him! Why does that man have to be so pushy? And to use a child to try to convince me?!?! Real gentleman like.’

“But isn’t that a thing that all women want? A dashing gentleman like him. I mean he’s cool and stuff, especially when he uses his sword.”

America absently mindedly shoved his hand into the apple pie while he contemplated your saccharine, tense, and complicated relationship.

“Britain is just….”

America’s blues are on you 100%. The innocent and intent hues on you made you uneasy. As if whatever you said would have a counterargument to it later….

“He’s just being a guy. After all its not like nations need to be married. It purley is just a thing humans do. After all they don’t have everlasting life like we do.”

You boop his nose and relish in his cute giggle. You hoped your explanation would be enough to quell further questions.

“But even with everlasting life. That doesn’t mean that the heart ceases to yearn.” His voice came from behind.

‘Oh fuck. Can he not?’

“Holy butter! Can you not sneak up on me like that?” Not liking the fact that he invaded your personal bubble. You attempted to step away from him only for him to use his wiry & toned arm snached you to his chest. You squeak & begin to tremble a little. Looking into his verdant eyes it made you even more nervous.

“Can you not deny my marriage proposals?” He says half playfully, half seriously.

“Ha. Ha. You’re funny Britian.” You once again attempt to move away but he manages to keep you close to him.

“Yeah, [country name], why do you? Britain is an Empire and he could keep you safe if there was ever another nation who’d attack you.”

It felt as if ice had been poured all over you. You didn’t know how to maneuver out of it. You knew to some degree he was right, but that didn’t make him any less scary. However, you knew better than to anger a superpower like him unless you wanted to be at the business end of his sword.

“I know that having a strong specimen like myself, showing interest in someone weak….” His eyes take a few moments to drink in every inch of you like a shot of bourbon.

“But extremely beautiful….” He utilized his hand to force your chin upwards. You weren’t going to look away when he talked.

“[Country Name] you need to consider not only your safety but that of your own people. It’s not like you can fight & others have been eager to conquer lovely figures such as yourself…..” His glowering look scared the hell out of you. All you could really do in response was set little America down & run for it.

*************

America visited your little cottage multiple times before you finally decided to open the door.

“Yes, America?”

“[Country Name]!” He jumped at your legs as if they were a life buoy ring. “[Country Name]!” He stated again and nuzzled himself into your form.

“America, what are you doing here???”

“[Country name] ! Y/N ! Y/N! Please! PLEASE! Come back to the house. Britain isn’t there & I’m lonely and I need you! You’re kinda like my mom and I don’t want to lose you! I can’t lose you!” He begins to cry profusely.

“America….” You put a gentle hand on his head to comfort him.

“[Country name] please… come back the monsters at the house are scary too…”

“Okay…. I’ll come over, but …Just for this afternoon.” You tried not to let your heart shatter at the fact that he was crying so much that the skirt of your dress began to have a small puddle on it.

“Yay! Mama [country name] is coming over!” He says while batting tears away with the sleeves of his shirt.

“Mama? Amer-” The blues that look up at you filled to the bring with another round of tears and stars. You weren’t prepared to deal with the incoming flood that was building in the overflowing dam. So, you decided not to complete your sentence.

“Come on, let’s go! I want to eat [your country’s famous dish] I’m starving! And I don’t remember how to make pancakes, and I almost burned down the kitchen.”

You couldn’t help but laugh.

“Come on, mama [country name] !” He eagerly yanks at your dress to follow along.

“Hang on, America, I must lock up before I leave.” You were able to escape his tiny grip for just a few moments. You wandered through your home's walls taking in all its simplistic features… the paintings you made and were given to you, sewing projects that were strewn around.

As you began to close all of your windows, a feeling of dread hit you. You really wanted to tell America no. Your mind, heart, and spirit debated whether it was really a good idea to go over to Briaitna's home even if he wasn't there. His domain held power and all of the advantages to convince you to merge with his empire. It was already strange that he was calling you “mama”. Just as you were about to change your mind, a glass shattered somewhere within your home.

“Oh no! America!” You rushed towards the sound. He’s accidentally broken the swan that was given to you by another country.

“Mama [Country name], there you are! What’s taking you so long? Closing windows and locking your back door? Also, I accidentally cut myself.”

He showed you some of the shards of glass that had pierced his hand. Blood was now rapidly flowing from it.

“America! What were you thinking?!?! Hang on, let me go get my medical supplies so I can help you.” You rummage through your home….unable to find what you need.

“No….no….no….no….no…..NO….”

“We have some at my place, but can we hurry [country name], please? I’m beginning to feel lightheaded…..” Intentionally not using ‘mama’ or ‘Britian’ just to ease your anxieties about coming back to your golden cage.

“Okay, okay, sweetie. Just hang tight.” you rushed to him, scooped him up, and raced for the trap that had awaited you.

Once there you carefully removed the shard of glass from his palm & bandaged him.

“Better?”

“Yeah, thanks, mama [country name].” He gives you a hug and kisses on the cheek.

“But, I’m starving. Why don’t we make food together? I feel like fish and chips.” He bounced up and down excitedly. He was happy you were finally at your real home.

“Alright, I’ll peel the potatoes, and you can help dry them and get the flour for the fish.”

From there, the day slipped into the night, and the man that made you tremble still wasn’t back. Fine with you. You were exhausted from assisting the small boy with cleaning up the burn marks on the walls, food that had been turned into coal, and broken utensils. While the sun began to sink below the horizon, little America wrote his updates about you and sent them off on a carrier pigeon.

*************

The crisp paper was unrolled within the notorious green pirates' hands. He was giddy to see America’s progress in hindering you from being free from your inevitable union. His eyes absorbed every word and his smile became like that of a Cheshire cat painting his face.

‘I’m teaching that kid well. He’s learning how to manipulate and use his waterworks. Sweet Y/N is vulnerable to that like an eroding rock.’

I managed to convince Y/N to stay until you get back in a couple of months. I intentionally got injured so she’d be obliged to stay with me longer. I’ll introduce the idea of the ball to her soon. Anyways bring me back a cool souvenir.

-America

Britain allowed himself to drift off into his thoughts. [Country Name] had driven him insane since the day he laid eyes on her. Though blatant social subjugation, he wanted to keep you intact. From the day that his fiery green fae eyes rested upon your gentle figure, he knew he wanted to claim you. You managed both America and Canada with ease. You were insanely beautiful & patient, all of the things he sought in a woman.

Arthur bit down intensely on his black glove. He wanted you in his arms so badly. Sooner rather than later. He didn’t want to fight you. He did consider your feelings, however, his desire to have you would never allow him to release you. One way or the other you were going to be married to him. He picks up his quill to begin the next phase.

*************

“Mama! [Country Name] ! Mama [Country Name] ! I need help! I can’t find my shirt!”

America is going to depend on you for everything: cooking, cleaning, sewing + repairing his clothes, etc. He is essentially a toddler with superpowers that he tends to hide from you. So his being able to pick up a bison and being able to stop a carriage with his foot is not a thing he showcases. He pretends that he’s weak as hell. He will also intentionally injure himself to make you extend your stay and dote on him. Lil’ Alfred was so incredibly dedicated to the bit that he purposefully got himself sick. This was done to buy England more time while he was away expanding his empire. You’d been cast into the role of ‘mother’ without your consent. Both knew how to take advantage of your caring nature and naivete.

“Oh, America, what am I going to do with you?” You placed another cool towel on his head as you checked his vitals. Worry has consumed you. He’d been ill for the past 3 weeks, and everything was touch-and-go. You’d sent off another carrier pigeon to ask for assistance. You could not leave the poor little boy unattended for long & you had too much integrity & fear of what might happen to him otherwise. You only had yourself to talk to these days & your journal that you kept.

“Hopefully he’s not back soon.” You utter under your breath. You grabbed your quill and began to write.

I tremble every time I hear a nurse, doctor, or maid at the door. I dread hearing his commanding voice ring out from the foyer. That makes my anxiety increase.

Your palms become clammy and you put down your quill to steady yourself. Your mind wanders to the letters yours and his dignitaries had begun to bring up inquiries about becoming merged with him.

‘It will be great’ They always imply.

‘Life will be easy and sublime.’ Your boss wrote to you in one of your letters.

“Ms. [Country Name] Come look at this dress, isn’t it great?! Won’t you want to use it?” A maid came in your room.

It was an over-the-top lacy number that essentially was a wedding dress.

You shook your head ferociously at the dress.

“No, thank you.”

You wanted to toss the dress into the deepest depths of the ocean along with the persistent pesty pirate.

Since most have caught onto your trepidations whenever England is mentioned. Your boss omits that one detail from the mandatory ball invitation your King also required you to attend. Your hands began to involuntarily shake at the fine print on the parchment.

“No, I have such a bad feeling about this.”

A tear rolled down your cheek. Something within your soul told you that this was a setup. But what could you do? What choice did you have? You donned the opulent (favorite color) dress that the letter had arrived with.

“Breathe, Y/N breathe.” You had to try and find your peace so you could fulfill your duties even if they did involve that terrifying British man.

“It’s just a standing government get together. It’s fine.” As you looked at your reflection in the mirror. Your outside didn’t reflect your inner turmoil.

“Mama!” Little America rushes towards you. He immediately gloms onto your legs.

“Hey Alfred.” You pat him on the head.

“Come on mama! We’re going to be late for the party.” His tiny hands begin to showcase the strength to drag you to the carriage that was waiting for you.

“Feeling better today?” Shocked at the way he’s able to manuver you through the grand home.

“Yes, I’m just excited! I get to go to a party! I’ve always wanted to go to a big fancy party!”

*************

The gravel hitting the carriage wheels only managed to fry your nerves more. Your life felt as fragmented just like the millions of tiny rocks. You’d struggled to keep lil’ America alive; he’d been sick & injured so often ….he cried for you profusely even when you’d only left his room for a few minutes. He refused to be left alone with the maids for long as well. Nothing but your full attention would satisfy the young nation. Your hands mindlessly fiddled with the silk on your (favorite color) ballgown. The smooth & almost water-like fabric helped ease your nerves some but there was still a voice at the back of your head that told you, you were headed for an emerald-eyed pirates trap.

“Mama! We’re almost there! Aren’t you excited?” He excitedly grips your arm.

“Sort of. Alfred. Sort of.” Your eyes quickly maneuvered from his excited sparkly blues down to the velvet floor of the carriage. You just wanted to return to your home & be alone for a while.

Once your carriage pulled up to the pristine castle, which stood against the backdrop of the American countryside, your heart dropped into your stomach. You couldn’t even be distracted by the beautiful high green hills and wildflowers.

“We’re here! We’re here! Come on, mama this is going to be fun!” He bounces up and down, shaking the entire carriage. It shook up all of the nervous butterflies in your stomach, transforming them into bees.

“Alright, Alfred. Alright, but you’re a representative of your nation. Even if you’re young, you must behave properly.” You take his hand to prevent him from simply bursting like a firework.

As the two of you wandered up the stairs with the other guests, dignitaries, & other members of your and England’s monarchy, your stomach began to tighten more. Seeing some of the members of the British royal court immediately put your nerves on edge.

The bees in your stomach changed, this time into angry wasps that pierced your stomach lining. Your heart began to sink into one of the seas that Britain controlled.

‘No….no…’ you accidentally grip lil America’s hand tighter than you should have.

“Mama? Are you alright?”

“ Yes, I’m just a little tired and homesick. I simply want to get this ball over with.” Came your honest response.

“I’ve heard that whatever they’re going to announce might actually make you happy mama.”

‘I doubt that.’

As the guards greeted you & showed you to the grand ballroom where everyone was beginning to take their assigned seat…. There you saw him.

You bit down on your bottom lip causing some blood to dribble into your mouth.

The feared Great British Empire was sitting next to your empty assigned seat. Your pace slowed & almost came to a halt. America reclaimed oblivious to your hesitation & dragged you along like a pet who didn’t want to be taken to the vet.

‘I wish I were mortal right now. I could die like how I wanted to right now.’ As you made it to your seat Britain swiftly got up & pulled out your chair. You sit and give him a curt ‘hello’ avoiding his hungry green eyes.

“Is that any way to greet your future husband?”

Your head snaps over to combatively meet his gaze.

“Delusional and daft. I’d never say yes.” Fight mode through your entire body kicked in. All of the angry wasps in the pit of your belly moved faster revving up to attack a target.

Britain took a hold of your chin sharply. There was a mixture of anger and amusement swirled on his face.

“Aw, the soon-to-be wedded are having a lovers quarrel.” You heard some of the people in the high courts giggle about your interaction.

“Oh, she’s lovely. She’d make a great Queen of England.”

Other whispers of similar wedded bliss seemed to be the top points of the gossip. The words poured from their mouths …creating a tornado inside of you mixed with all of your emotions.

The attack-ready wasps had been sucked into the raging winds extinguishing any fight you may have had and replacing it with fear. The devious smirk that Arthur flashed at you made the hair on your neck stand on high. Goosebumps littered your skin.

“Then maybe your boss can speak some sense into you.” He releases your chin as if on cue. Horns and trumpets beckon everyone's attention to the center of the ballroom, where your boss and his arrive together. Your nerves are still fried, and you begin to have an out-of-body experience.

“I’m pleased to have all of you here! To announce the engagement of [country name] & the Great British Empire!” Thunderous cheers beat down your eardrums. Your worst fear were becoming realized.

‘Oh shit….no…no….no….no… nooo’ Your grip on your seat tightened. You were hoping that you were having some twisted lucid dream of sorts but you weren’t.

“Y/N Arthur, why don’t the two of you share advance to start the night?”

‘Is me dropping dead an option right now?’

It felt as if your legs turned to jelly and frostbite had overtaken your feet.

Arthur yanks you to your feet despite your hesitations. You were on autopilot now & Arthur had no issue taking control.

“Oh look everyone, my poor little love is so overwhelmed with shock she’s like a doll.”

The crowd laughs at his quip. The they began to chant

“Merger! Merger! Merger! Between [Country Name] & the Great British Empire! Merger! Merger! Merger! Great British Empire & [ Country Name] !”

The crowd's chants signaled to you that you’d already lost. There was no real reason to fight. Arthur could tell that you were beginning to accept your sealed fate. He squeezed your hand before he snaked it around your waist. He wanted to be closer to you.

A ballad began to play. Arthur took hold of both of your hands. He guided your through the dance. Your feet followed his flow. Even though you were living a nightmare just like a lucid dream….. You had no other choice but to dutifully follow.

You did your best not to look at his triumphant eyes.

“She’s bashful, how adorable.”

“Aweeeee, she’s so shy.”

“One strong, dashing gentleman paired with a demure lady. A match made in heaven.”

These comments hit your head like a flurry of stones. A few tears escaped your eyelids. Arthur dipped you down and inched towards your face. He kissed your tears away and drank them away like a sweet wine. He trails his way down your soft skin to your lips.

His kiss will be drawn out, taking all of your air and attention. Your wet (eye color) orbs will interlock with his verdant eyes.

“You’re mine [country name], and there’s nothing you can do about it.”

[auntieinthemushroomhat]

Analysing Why Williza Wouldn't Have Worked Out Through The Lens of a Pop Song

Hey, hi, hello!

This is not a post for the Willizas lol

I have no idea how many Stela Cole fans are among the Scarleteers, or, well, the ScarNashers.

This, I know it's a surprise, is not about Patrick and Eliza for once, but Eliza and William, though not in the best light, if that makes up for it, folks.

Stela has a new song called Blood Orange Wine and the lyrics kind of reminded me of Eliza's and William's relationship and how it lowkey went up in flames.

(I do feel I should acknowledge that, as far as I know, Stela's song is about a toxic relationship, which I don't think Eliza's and William's was, but if some of the lyrics fit, what can ya do?)

For your enjoyment:

1, just the title, Blood Orange Wine, itself: Eliza likes to drink wine, not beer, although she does drink whiskey, but usually in the presence of men eg. William, Patrick and probably Moses too (gosh I miss him)

2, I know it wasn't this extreme in the show, buuuut He knew the reasons I was scared of love - she was scared of entering a relationship with William, and I think the the reasons for that are:

a, he was her only family outside of Ivy, if it didn't work out, she would absolutely lose him (which happened in the end, and she didn't really get to have a say in the matter)

b, he was the only person she had ever felt romantic feelings for up until then

c, she had never been in a relationship, whereas William had been known for dallying with actresses, hell, he even courted her childhood bully

d, his image of the wife he wanted to marry differed so much from who Eliza is as a person, and Eliza, rightfully, didn't want to change herself completely just to fit that image

3, Told me he'd catch me if I fell, then he went running off - he confessed his love then upped and left, aka ran off, even though they were supposed to stick together since they were practically family, especially post-Henry's death

4, Knife to my throat until I opened up - again, I don't mean it literally, but he confessed his love, probably knowing Eliza wasn't ready, especially with the bomb that he was leaving for a year

5, He left me bleeding, now I'm freaking out - in that he left her to her own devices in regards to:

a, working out her feelings

b, knowing she was struggling to get cases at Nash & Sons and that she would no longer have access to Scotland Yard the same way without him, even with Fitzroy there (it's a bit redeeming though that he knew Nash was back to help Eliza)

c, knowing she had suffered a probably traumatic experience of not knowing whether he would live or die after getting shot

d, freaking out, as in she is sulking, or as she calls it, brooding, which is totally understandable, in my opinion, looking at the circumstances

6, Oh, I'm losing my forever, he only lets me down

a, Eliza and William were supposed to be endgame (still, I'm glad it didn't happen), they were each other's "forevers" right until they weren't

b, he only lets me down - she had to manipulate him in order to get him to help her, even though she needed his help, it wasn't (just) about her ambition

7, Wrapped around his finger, now my finger's wrapped around this glass

a, remember how important it was whenever they held hands or even their fingers touched?

b, in season 1, she regularly used her more womanly red dress to get him to do what she wanted, aka had him wrapped around her finger, because he wouldn't have helped her earn a living otherwise

Honestly, the more I wrote for this, the angrier I got. I still love William as a character, but they kinda fucked up his whole arc. Respect to Stuart for leaving, even if it wasn't because he saw that this would lead nowhere.

All of this, I think, supports why Patrick is a much better match for Eliza, even just as a friend and partner, but also as a potential love interest.

[straightasaaro]

my review of the agggtm live action tv show

hello! I just finished watching the agggtm tv show and I have some thoughts. Here are some warnings before you read below the cut.

I have literally only watched the show and (and read) book once so not every detail will be accurate. If I think I got something wrong, I will make it known.

This is my opinion!!! If you hated or loved the show with all your heart, don’t make that my problem!

I’m not British so I can’t comment on Emma Myers accent.

and finally because they are always some lurking in fandom, racists DNI

spoilers for the rest of the agggtm trilogy below

Alright so to start I think the show, on its own, is good television. It’s got intrigue and the pacing is good and the humor is pretty good at some parts however. I have three main issues with how it deviates from the book.

Show don’t tell.

what many shows have trouble with is telling the audience something instead of showing it. In the books, Pip pretends to be a CNN reporter and e-mails old students of the school about drink spiking. She’s told that it happened to quite a few female students. She hears that Andie sold roofies. She was told by Jesse that Becca got the morning after pill and wouldn’t tell who she slept with. She was told by Andie’s friend (or Becca’s, I do not remember) that Jason was controlling and pit them against each other often.

So pip makes the connection that Becca was raped by Max Hastings and found out that Andie was the one who sold the drugs. Pip is the one who connects the dots that Becca must’ve confronted Andie and it went awry. But in the show Pip is just told outright to protect her drink and that Becca was raped. I think the show did a lot of this, cutting Pip’s slow process of unraveling the murder in exchange for quick answers to immediate questions. It also dials down how clever yet morally questionable Pip is.

Cut cast and scenes

I get that a show with a low budget probably won’t be able to afford as many actors or sets as a high budget show but I’m genuinely shocked how many side characters (or interviews) were cut or down sized in the show. Stanley Forbes is the most obvious one because he plays a much larger role in the second season. Andie’s best friends too-in the book it was specifically mentioned how she could be emotionally manipulative and terrible. It showed how, while everyone thought that Andie was perfect and Sal was the villain, Andie was actually awful. It plays to the trilogies bigger theme of stories never being what they seem from the outside. The show did not show this as well.

Pip x Ravi took front and center

I get that BookTok prioritizes ships and romances and that well liked tropes and hot couples can be a great aisle of advertising. But what the fuck? Everyone on BookTok also talks about how much the romance as a subtle yet powerful thing was so beautiful. I don’t have a good enough memory but I really feel like way too much emphasis was but on their relationship, pushing away Pips love for her friends and family and even Ravi’s family. Was it just me but who else thinks it’s really weird that they cut the scene where Ravi’s parents passionately thank Pip for clearing Sal’s name? It showed how much the family had been freed from being the “shun” “scum” family.

Thank you for reading. Go watch the show if you want. Emma Myers was adorable. Good day ✌🏽

[taehyungfirst]

I apologize for the rant but BH really did a number on this fandom and shipping has rotted their brains because what do you mean there is all this debate and speculation about Tae hanging out with two of his close friends and bandmates of more than 10 years when there is literally pictures of him being there with them??? What do you mean there are Tae stans who miss him but don't want to see him make an appearance on the show because they are worried he is going to get dragged?? What do you mean he is already getting dragged and being called a liar and attention seeker for daring to post pictures of himself hanging out with his friends??  Is this fandom not capable of being normal and not acting weird everytime Tae mentions or interacts with the other members. And this shit only ever happens when it's Tae and the other BTS members, especially with jikook.

I legit don't understand it because if you watch Tae's with all his other friends and his 100 different squads he is literally the easiest person to understand. He supports the people he cares about and loves making time to spend with them to have fun and enjoy life. They say wonderful things about him all the time and talk about how sweet, kind and giving he is. God just look at how protective Wooga is of him, and how whipped all his are when they are around him or talk about him. But when its BTS he is suddenly this unwanted weirdo manipulative character with questionable motives. It's so bizarre.

I am honestly getting tired of this narrative. No wonder he has such a huge solo fandom. Nobody who really pays attention to how he really is and can see how sweet and caring he is wants to keep being gaslit or seeing him painted as this villian or attention seeker everytime he interacts with his own fucking group. Imho BH needs to set the record straight on these fucking ships because the toxicity is really too much and harmful to the members, but we all know how greedy they are and probably don't care because army at this point is mostly jokers.

Hi, I agree with everything you said and it’s absurd that I’m in the category of people who miss him but is already getting ready at the useless dragging he will go through when/if he will appear in the show.

“Nobody who really pays attention to how he really is and can see how sweet and caring he is wants to keep being gaslit or seeing him painted as this villian or attention seeker everytime he interacts with his own fucking group.” YES YES EXACTLY, the narratives and brainwashing going around is crazy because no other member gets dragged so much for just interacting with people he has known for MORE than TEN YEARS, like how crazy that sounds?

Bh will never do such thing, the photobook and the merch are the proof of it all, they’re getting money out of it so they don’t care about the state of the fandom. Never did and never will. At fault is not only bh, but also the freaks who keeps reinforcing those crazy theories where Tae is a villain and a homewrecker, I suggest any jkkers reading this to go outside and interact with real human beings once in a while because the shit you guys say on here should put you straight into a mental ward.