#also??? treats his mum right?? in touch with his emotions???

[notdrifting]

guy.exe is the go to song for me to write bumi bc… thats…thats essentially bumi they are describing there??

[stevenspector]

Welcome back to Moon Knight Thursday! Man, what an emotional roller coaster episode 5 was, am i right? And because I cannot get over the episode, Oscar's acting and the systems tragic story, we will focus on something different. We will focus on Dr. Harrow and the difference in his engagement with Marc, Steven and Jake (yes, I am a big believer and defender that we saw Jake during a therapy session and you'll see why) All 3 of them have their own version of Therapist Harrow™ that serves a different role, depending on their own needs and character

With Marc, Harrow is more firm. Not strict, but he is straight forward. Marc is comfortable with an authority figure. He is used to it by his parents and he is used to it by his military background. So Harrow plays the role of a more authorative therapist. He calls him out directly at some points as well, like outright telling him “when i ask you questions, you get defensive” or he gives Marc concrete and tangible tasks and instruction to do. Talking to Steven for example. He also keeps more of a spacial distance between them while still turning towards him and being personal.

And then with Steven, he is still firm, but more gentle. Because Steven doesn’t really want any reality checks, he wants his version encouraged. After all, it was, as stated, the whole point of him. To keep the happy memories and versions of his mum and life alive. And that’s what Harrow does for him: agreeing that his mother is still alive, even calling her. It doesn’t work however, because of how much Marc and Steven have shared. Steven is starting to understand and realise for himself. In direct contrast to Marc, Harrow is being up close, interacting with Steven, touching him, giving him water, standing right next to him.

And then in contrast to all of that is the version of Harrow we see with Jake and how he treats him. Harrow seems a little afraid and wary of Jake. When the “weapon” is being grabbed, he immediately pushes the emergency button and backs away. He knows that Jake may be more prone to defend himself and attack, as we’ve seen in episode three when he briefly fronted and killed those people. Harrow reacts immediately, calling for security, instead of talking. With Marc or Steven he probably would have tried to talk and calm them down. But he doesn't try that with Jake.

Ethan Hawke does a great shop portraying all of that as well, it’s an amazing performance on his end.

[thecpdiary]

Others' Loss Reopens Our Own Wounds

I’ve experienced profound and layered grief – with each loss bringing its own unique set of challenges. Losing my grandmother was the first real blow, my first real encounter with death. After that, the losses seemed to pile on – first my mum passed, then my father. Although it never really got easier, I became more familiar with the pain that came with watching a family member slip away. But losing my twin is different. It's hit me harder than anything I've gone through before, a loss that has reshaped how I feel about my life and the world.

Other Loss Reopens Our Own Wounds Whenever I hear about other people’s struggles in the media, I’m also reminded of what I’ve lost. It stirs up memories of my own pain, bringing everything rushing back. Hearing about someone like Liam Payne’s recent mental health challenges brings that familiar pang of empathy. His pain mirrors a broader, collective struggle. It’s a reminder that no one is far from mental health issues – grief, trauma and emotional struggles affect us all in one way or another.

Mental Health and Loss Through my own experiences too, I know just how deeply mental health is tied to loss. Yet, we don’t treat it as such. In society, mental health is still seen as something separate from everyday life, but it’s not. It's right here, woven into the fabric of life, into our experiences of everyone we've ever lost. If society looked at mental health differently – if we individually treated it with more compassion and openness, we might come to understand it better, to see it as something we all need to care for, just like our physical health.

Grief and Mental Health Grief and mental health are intertwined – it’s important to give yourself room to process your emotions. Since my twin died, I’ve tried to create space for healing. Nearly 2 years in and with tinnitus to deal with from the stress of losing her, my reminders are firmly still etched. Writing and therapy have been instrumental in helping me manage the weight of my experiences.

Mental Health doesn't Discriminate

Liam Payne’s struggles remind me again. Yes, his struggles and those of others like him, are powerful reminders that mental health doesn’t discriminate. Being in the public gaze doesn’t exclude mental health. It touches everyone, regardless of their background or circumstances. My heart goes out to him and his family, and to everyone facing their own mental health challenges. We all need to approach other people’s challenges with empathy, as if their mental health challenges are our own.

For more inspirational, inspirational and lifestyle blogs, please check out my site https://www.thecpdiary.com

[the-gentleman-pining]

Episode 2: Red Flags

Yes I'm gonna put these in one long post so I can keep it aaaallll together. I'm a disaster but I'm an ✨organised disaster✨

Damn it looks comfy on the Red Flag, this crew doesn't seem to be treated too bad at all! Not knowing anything about Zheng Yi Sao I have no idea how realistic that is 😅

Stede hon you need to sleeeep 🥺

THE MUSIC. This is gonna be the one for me I think.

THE SOOT ON WEDDING CAKE TOPPER STEDE WHERE ED IS HOLDING IT TO HIS FACE IM GONNA BREAK SOMETHING

I know it's old news but Bride!Ed is still just. Heartwrenching.

Moving them closer but not touching,, even when he's mourning the life he could have had,, my babygirl got burned so bad I'm actually gonna cry again if I think about any of this too much

Toppling them off the window and the sad deadness in Ed's eyes as he looks at himself and just... pushes. God this season is heavy stuff and I'm so here for it.

YES QUEEN 💪💪💪

What is this little sea witch subplot ahaha I'm so here for it being played straight

Zheng Yi Sao are you taking prospective job applications...

ONE OTHER MAN ON BOARD YOU SAY??? 👀👀👀

🐀

what's new queen 💅

fr I'm so glad he's back already like I'd have been ok with a reveal later on but I actually love Lucius and !!he's here he's here he's already here!! I get to enjoy the boy!!!

Black Pete's scrunched up little eyebrows in the hug aaaaaaa I love these two

🙄 men are so fucking emotional YES AND WE LOVE IT HAH

"I love all of it!" and Lucius looking beyond relieved and overwhelmed by love I'm??? Nathan you're going to make me ill.

Roach why tf you interrupting mind your business

Lucius you're not a good liar I know the "my mum thought I was straight for years thing" but the way you are BEHAVING babygirl it's suspicious as fuck I'm sorry

"you have impeccable balance babe" is said so casually yet it's so specific I'm horribly invested in these two,, yess Pete call him out in the loveliest way imaginable I'm obsessed

Wee John guyliner is such a vibe and bless his excitement about tailoring I'll never forget how Stede helped these guys unlock being unafraid to be themselves ❤️

Towels is about your speed, Stede I'm not gonna lie, you're more qualified for towels than captaincy for sure!

Hot! and Cheerful!Ed jumpscare! Most beautiful wig ever constructed jumpscare! I'm not immune to the middle aged wanted poster pirate.

On a serious note this portrayal of suicidal ideation and the illusion of improvement when they've made their choice is so masterfully done. It's haunting.

Ed knows Frenchie didn't kill Izzy, of course. He's not stupid. He's self sabotaging, not stupid. He enjoys the control of making everyone squirm.

Frenchie honey you're so bad at this 😭

Pasty dying sweaty screaming Izzy you're a bit of a mess sweetie but don't panic your found family is here to incompetently help ❤️ Like I know you've got nothing left because you've lost Ed and he's all you cared about but consider this: friends!

Adding "Ohhh he's a gusher!" to my long list of reasons I'm obsessed with Archie

Lucius I owe you my firstborn for actually telling Stede he's being a cunt.

"Ed pushed you?" said with the incredulity of a man who forgot all his friends got marooned..

NATHAN YOU'RE ACTING YOUR HEART OUT but also "oh yeah, now you care" in that low voice like what are you trying to do to us,, why is broken Lucius hottttt 😭

Sea witch subplot my beloved,, please understand I want animorphs Buttons so bad (not carnally, just to witness him, don't get any weird ideas)

Oh Frenchie you're right that you weren't qualified for this babe you're like a lamb to the slaughter

KNOW THE SMELL??? Izzy and Ed are fucked up beyond belief this is unhinged.

Jim why are you playing with the leg

Also Jim you're such a romantic now I'm weak for it (and so is Archie it seems!)

Saw some people saying this kiss/relationship is too rushed bc it took Olu so long to get past Jim's was but that's the point!!! Look how different Jim is!! They're so much more emotionally available to everyone!! Because of Olu and the rest of the crew showing them that family doesn't have to be by blood!

But I will say that kissing while cloth is coming that far out your nose is deranged behaviour like that's gonna accidentally get in the way ewww

Buzzkill cockblock first mate where have I seen that before... 🤔 Just let Zheng Yi Sao have her fuckin meal she's EATING!!!

Olu is so lovely I just don't think he should ever be in trouble ever

"Yeah. I fucked that up." 😔

How is this pirate queen this awkward I love her so much I want the world for her.

Roachtatouille

Edgy smokerboi Lucius is so funny I know it's not funny but it's so funny I don't make the rules

Stede shut up or I'll riot challenge

Honestly "my spicy little ratboy" was such a relatable blunder to try and defuse the tension, Black Pete I see you bestie

Pointing the finger Pete made at him in anger Lucius NO

"The hell is going on in towels?"

Ed and Izzy I love to watch you like bugs but you're scary and upsetting, fellas

Con is just in another league of acting this season it feels like. I'm absolutely convinced by him. It's riveting.

Devastating that both of these idiots hate each other and love each other so much that it makes them deranged. They can't kill each other but they want to. Fucking hell. The cold read from Izzy that Ed is too scared to kill himself followed by immediately doing it (or attempting to) to himself. CHRIST.

"I loved you... best I could." no idea if Ed is just lying to himself but in what way did he ever love Izzy? /gen

NO DON'T GIVE ED THE WHEEL GODDD well here we go.

Stede using his failures to stop Lucius from self sabotage at the expense of his own sanity, good on you man. Best thing you've done for anyone else so far this season. Shame he cut him off.

"He was just a very small man!" Nathan lmao was that you

God, Ed is just begging for someone to end it. He's so far gone. Provoking and trying to act out enough that someone (or something) will do what he's unable to do himself. But desperately wanting someone to prove to him that there's an alternative - that self destructive urge to simultaneously prove your fears and the deeper craving to have them disproved. He's a ruin of a man.

Stede looking out for Lucius and Black Pete like this feels reminiscent of earlier S1 Stede, helping the crew heal, it's really nice. I miss that.

Stede admitting he's part of the reason Ed became so unwell! Growth! That's it king, you can face your mistakes ❤️

Yessss matchmaker Lucius back at it again dropping the truths that people need to hear!!

Vico Ortiz I'm on my knees!! Season 2 Jim is WONDERFUL.

Izzy Hands killing the part of himself that was rotting away shooting Ed unhhh the symbolism. I adore this character he's despicable but he's RIVETING.

Izzy leaning on Fang ❤️❤️❤️

Yeah there it is. "Finally".

FRENCHIE'S SMILE AS JIM DOES IT HHHH

These fellas have been brutalised so bad, Jim's scream is so raw. This fucking season, man.

Decided to rewatch OFMD S2 eps 1-3 and actually jot down my thoughts as I go! Oh what fun! Ngl this is mostly for me babes but if you enjoy it that's neat ❤️

Episode 1: Impossible Birds

Stede bearded in his dream could just be playing to swashbuckling archetypes for funsies, but is it some lingering wish that he was more masculine?

Con O'Neil truly graceful about it with the sword huh

"WHERE IS HE. WHERE'S ED?" Stede seeing Izzy as the thing that is keeping Ed from him when he's the one that left lol ok

His idealised version of Ed doesn't hold him accountable either. My mans doesn't want to face what he did at all!!

His first words to Ed in his letter are reassuring him that the crew are safe, as if he doesn't remember that Ed marooned them and left them for dead on purpose??

I know it's meant to be funny but Jackie was a bit of a sex pest toward Swede at first and the power dynamic was a bit 🫤 Glad he was into it in the end!

WHY DOES WEE JOHN SLAM THE HEAD OF THE ONE WHO GOT STABBED INTO THE TABLE INSTEAD OF THE ONE WHO STABBED THEM?? 😂

Stede truly is unphased by people being assholes to him and I just,,, respect it.

Ricky your vibes are strange and unsettling

Who in their right mind would have an ocean wedding in the golden age of piracy?? I know they probs didn't know it was the golden age of piracy while they were in it but STILL

Ed looks so dead behind the eyes 😭 Just going through the motions eh buddy?

Dressed up like the book Blackbeard I see. God he's trying so hard to inhabit this character.

I would die for Archie. Truly the himbo we need in these depressing angst riddled times.

Jim asking someone else how they're bottling things up?? Hello?? Who are you and what have you done with Jim?? Aren't you the bottling up Master? Olu bewitched you too good and now you've unlocked Feelings 😔

"He's actually a good guy" Stede babygirl did we actually forget the marooning???

I have so much I could say about how Izzy and Blackbeard's relationship has deteriorated hhhhh,,,, Izzy is a problem child but I'm so glad the story is crashing towards his character actually growing and changing. In season 1 he at least got the crumbs Ed would throw him like "I need you here", now he's only getting abuse and maybe he's throwing himself at it because he recognises he had a part to play in reaching this point and believes he deserves it.

Fang's delivery on "how you doing Izzy" will keep me warm and fed all winter. Masterclass in approaching someone, truly tender and genuine but not too pressuring. God.

That second "unhand me" hhh the panic of realising you're going to start crying if the situation continues

Con is gonna rip my heart out and eat it this season if I'm not careful

Labour exploitation Jackie what a girlboss x

Why does "you'll be having a lot of breakfastseses together" sound so ominous though 😭 Smeagol Jackie my worstie...

Stede doing Blackbeard Voice is adorable but damn he really doesn't believe that he made Ed's life better. Like how??? Why doesn't Stede equate happiness with better? Ed was explicitly happier around you ya dingus!

Swede deserves his married bliss so much. The crew can be so mean to him!!

"What am I to you" and "I have... love for you" are said so softly I'm gonna be sick,, Izzy you fucked it by wrestling this man into this particular coping mechanism and your tenderness is coming wayyyy too late. Heartbreaking tbh cause the guy didn't know how else to help Ed and now he's realising it could have been different. Sick and twisted little dynamic I'm eating it like good soup.

Definitely supposed to be taken that Izzy didn't realise "talk it through" was a Stedeism as he said it but godddd you idiot dude

Once again god bless you Archie I'd die for you

Fang I want to rescue you hhhhhh my hot topic fashionista must be so dehydrated from all these tears!!!

No way in hell Ed expected anything else out of Izzy's mouth than something about Stede, but god I wish the guy had just payed attention to Frenchie shaking his head. The catharsis of saying the quiet part out loud wasn't worth your leg, man.

"Start by cleaning up that mess"... yeah we def see Ed is killing people himself again but outsourcing the Big Job on Izzy makes sense. He's also exactly the kind of self sabotager atm that would know Frenchie won't do it, and he's looking for reasons to Be Worse.

Indigo heist my beloved. Fuck those hammies up!! I love how loud Black Pete was omg 😂

Oh fuck off Ricky I know you're a S1 Stede mirror but you're doing it detestably

Roach why is your instinct to immediately put the blue dirt on your face darling

Zheng Yi Sao completely unphased by Jackie is giving me so much delight

Sexy Dutchman 😭😂 Jackie never change

I love that Zheng Yi Sao is taking the whole crew on just to have her lil Olu moment, get it girl

TENDER JIM IM SO HAPPY FOR THEM THEY'VE COME SO FAR. I LOVE THEIR BIG SMILE 😭 (also Archie is so wholesome what is she DOING here???)

Ed oh my god you're not alright at ALL

Frenchie's quiet "sounds like a plan" is just so... painful. The acting this season is off the charts.

When Roach asked if they were in soup now I thought he was referring to the ocean as soup I'm an idiot 😭

[selenesheart]

dazed // d.m.

word count: 2.9k

warnings: smut, rough sex, praising kink, titty fucking, single dad!draco, single mom!reader, tension, cursing, unprotected sex, a bit of wine, a bit of spit, post hogwarts, modern au

summary: the tension between your son’s best friend’s dad and you was unbearable.

—————

“they said they’d be here by ten!” draco heard little scorpius’ voice coming from downstairs as he made his way down. draco smiled at scorpius’ enthusiasm, remembering telling him that you and your son would be there at any moment.

draco remembered when you two agreed on you bringing your 9-year-old son to the malfoy manor to spend time with scorp a few days back.

your son had told you that he wanted to visit his best friend at the beginning of the week, who was none other than scorpius malfoy, draco malfoy’s son.

after making plans with the malfoys, you mentally prepared yourself for what was gonna come. prepare for that cocky smirk and that harsh personality that you haven’t seen in at least ten years.

as your son mentioned the name “malfoy”, your memories rushed back in, all the glances, and flirty looks. you had to admit, draco malfoy was attractive, but you knew he was nowhere near good. well at least back then.

a couple of minutes later, an expensive-looking car arrived at the manor’s entrance. you and your son were inside of this car, looking rather excited, or at least your son was.

“merlin” the slytherin whispered as soon as you stepped out of the car, draco’s eyes landing on your figure, a figure of a goddess. malfoy examined every inch of your body, he couldn’t take his eyes off you, like he was being hypnotized.

but draco wasn’t the only one being hypnotized at the moment. you, too, were admiring his tall figure, from his perfect features to his arms that appeared to be noticeably muscular. he had changed.

you took a deep breath as the children greeted each other. blinking repeatedly, your vision rose to the blonde in front of you, giving him a polite smile as if you two haven’t spent more time looking at each other than usual, taking each other in.

taking a few steps, you extended your hand to greet the older malfoy, he took your hand in his rather big one, shaking it. his tall body hovering over yours, making your mind foggy.

his eyes lingered on your small, slight shaky hands, smirking at the slight size difference. your body had changed over the past few years, as well as your gorgeous face, he noticed. his face didn’t move at all as he scanned your face, it was like he was blocking any emotion from showing.

after backing away, you greeted the younger malfoy, bending over to reach his eye level. it took all of malfoy’s self-control to not let out a strangled groan, he adjusted his collar, letting out a low breath as he tried not to let his eyes wander down, which he miserably failed to do, letting himself catch a glimpse of your covered backside.

you got back at your feet, as draco took an unsteady breath.

“why don’t we all come inside the manor?” the tall man suggested as he opened the big, black door. with one last eye contact, you made your way in, the boys coming right behind you.

your breath hitched as you entered the enormous manor, mesmerized by the elegant chandelier, you examined the room, the many floors, the ridiculously long table in the guest room.

you chuckled lowly when you heard the little “woah” that escaped your son’s lips. smiling slightly at the cheeky smirk of the two malfoys. like father, like son, you supposed.

“let’s go to outside, ‘wanna show something!” scorpius spoke to your son excitedly. after checking with you if he could go to the garden, your son ran behind scorpius. giggles were heard from outside, making you smile slightly. then, it hit you; you were in the manor with a very tall, attractive man behind you. alone.

turning around slowly, you let yourself explore him with your vision. his sleeves were rolled up to his forearm, a couple of buttons undone, veiny hands in his trouser pockets. he looked so handsome, you thought.

“so— would you fancy a cuppa?” he offered, his deep voice breaking your train of thoughts. you looked up to him feeling embarrassed, he was smiling politely down at you. you returned the smile as you responded with a soft “yes, please”.

walking down to the kitchen, you felt draco's hand brush against yours, suddenly feeling hot, even when the room was freezing. you also took notice of his kind and polite personality, he wasn’t that rude 17-year-old boy that treated everyone like garbage.

“can you help me get those glasses on the top of the drawer?” he said as the two of you arrived at the large kitchen. you hummed a response while approaching the drawer that he was referring to just a couple of seconds ago, draco leaving to get a bottle of red wine.

you placed a hand on top of the counter besides the dark drawer, lifting yourself a bit to reach the said cups. your fingertips could touch them but it was no use, you huffed, the glasses were unnecessarily high.

you jumped slightly as you felt one of malfoy’s big hands on your waist, his tall figure— once again— hovering over you, reaching his arm to the top of the drawer. your backside pressed against his front, making him close his eyes slightly, trying to remain calm.

he grabbed the cups like it was nothing, using the hand that was in your waist to turn you around. draco raised the glasses to your face with a lazy smirk spread on his face, making you roll your eyes playfully, although your self-control was slowly getting out of your reach as his long fingers were spread out, sending a shiver down your spine.

“I could’ve reached that” you joked as his long fingers slowly let go of your waist, making that spot feel empty. “it seemed like it was too high for you” he responded along with a chuckle as he made his way to the kitchen counter, where the expensive wine was located. the blonde opened the bottle easily, while you sat down in the kitchen’s chair.

draco placed the glass in front of you, pouring the red wine inside of it. your eyes betrayed you as they made their way to his long fingers full of rings, unconsciously you bit your bottom lip softly, you let your imagination wander.

imagining how his fingers would feel, so deep inside of you, stretching you. how it would feel to have them in your mouth, preventing you from making any sound as he entered you from—

“is that good?” he asked innocently, breaking you from your naughty thoughts. you took a deep breath as you mumbled a “yes” to his question. you were extremely embarrassed, all things you were thinking of the man you haven’t even seen since high school.

the two of you chatted for hours and hours, drinking, enjoying each other’s company. laughing and just chatting about each other’s life in general.

────

“mum! can i stay for the night, please?” your son asked with his big doe eyes after you told him that it was time to go home. a sigh left your mouth, “in that case, i’ll come pick you up first thing tomorrow, alright?” you responded to his question, he nodded, a big smile on display.

“why don’t you stay with him?” malfoy spoke taking you off guard, turning around you saw that he was already in his pyjama pants, your breath getting heavy as you caught the sight of his exposed chest. you were about to decline his kind offer until you heard your son’s voice “yes please! stay in the manor with me!”.

“well— if there’s any room, i could stay for the night,” you sighed, “but, where am i going to stay, and besides, i have nothing to wear for bed,” you said worriedly. you furrowed your brows as you saw draco playfully roll his eyes.

“you could sleep in my room, and i’ll give you one of my shirts for you to wear” malfoy spoke softly, mentally smirking, already forming a plan in his head. your hands felt sweaty at the idea of sleeping in the same room as draco malfoy, in his clothes.

after the older man and the kids tried to convince you, you finally agreed. giving both boys a good night kiss on their foreheads, you rushed to malfoy’s room. finding no one in the room, you quickly grabbed his big white shirt and his boxers, making your way to his luxurious bathroom. you used a spell to help you clean your undergarments.

once you were done, you exited the bathroom just to find draco waiting for you in the darkroom. malfoy was mesmerized by the sight of y/n l/n wearing his see-through shirt, making your bra to be shown, causing his thoughts to go wild. all he wanted to do was rip his shirt off you and roughly massage your breasts until— he took a steady breath, containing himself.

soon enough, you were washing your face in the sink, ready to call it a night. draco stepped behind you, he extended his arm to his toothbrush in front of you. the once big room suddenly felt small.

once he was done brushing, he placed the toothbrush where it was before, causing his growing cock to make contact with your backside. you gasped as he gulped slowly, making eye contact through the bathroom mirror. hard, lust-filled eyes looking back at you.

biting your lips slightly, you turned around slowly to get a better look at his face. your vision rose to his eyes, innocent eyes looking up at him. draco had lost control. he got ahold of your cheek, bringing you up to a heated kiss. you moaned against his mouth as your fingers travelled through his hair. it all felt right.

any respectful or friendly behaviour towards each other was gone as you held tightly onto his broad shoulders, digging your nails into his skin.

the next thing you knew, the two of you were kissing, biting, licking each other like desperate animals. one of his hands travelled from your face to the end of his shirt, desperately taking it off your body, along with his black boxers.

draco groaned at the sight of your perfect body in a black set of undergarments, the sight of you looking up at him oh so innocently, the constant brushing of his erect dick against your clothed cunt. it was all driving him insane.

you arched your back off the bed, taking off your bra eagerly, breasts flowing free. malfoy wasted no time on grabbing your soft mounds, playing with them, kissing them, almost worshiping them.

“merlin— ” he breathed against your chest, the vibrations adding to the pleasure “i can’t wait to see your tits bouncing up and down” his words alone made you even wetter if that was possible. you were dripping.

you cried out as he took one of your nipples in his mouth, biting it softly. your hands were once again located on top of his head, your fingers threaded through his silky hair.

“‘m gonna fuck your tits, alright?” he asked—more like demanded— as you moaned softly at the thought of malfoy in top of you fucking your breasts. your panties started feeling uncomfortable now, you couldn’t control your arousal. you should’ve pushed him away, and tell me to stop, but you couldn’t, you didn’t want him to stop.

and now, here you were, your son’s best friend’s dad on top of you, ready to gain an orgasm from your tits, it felt like you were in heaven. he looked divine. his sweaty hair going everywhere, his dark pupils, toned body. such a beautiful sight.

he positioned himself on top of your torso, his muscular legs on either side of you. you looked at his face, waiting for his next move. he spat between your breasts, as he placed his throbbing cock in between. you grabbed each one of your boobs, bringing them together to create friction.

“that feels so good, darling argh—” draco groaned as he started moving his hips, front to back, causing his dick to leak some pre-cum across your breasts. his breathing got heavier as you stuck out your tongue to lick his red tip.

he moved faster while you moved your tits up and down, following his rhythm. it felt like he had died and gone to heaven, the feeling was unmatchable. he couldn’t wait to have your aching pussy stuffed with his dick. plus, the look in your face had him almost cumming right there and then.

but he fought the urge to cum in your tits. malfoy suddenly stopped and lowered himself to play with your folds, teasing you with his twitching tip.

“i want you inside me, please” you don’t know what took over but you pleaded like your life depend upon it. the infamous smirk was back at his face, a low chuckle leaving his pink lips.

“what do you want inside, darling?” he rubbed your desperate clit with one of his fingers, making you cry out in desperation “do still want my fingers?” he asked, causing you to furrow your brows. what was he talking about? still?

“oh don’t play dumb on me now. just a few hours ago you were wishing my fingers were inside your panties, fingering you. did you forgot about the legilimency spell, already?” he scoffed leaving you dumbfounded, he read your mind while you were thinking about him having his finger deep inside of your cunt. you gulped loudly as you looked deep into his eyes, looking for some type of sign that would tell you that he was trying to embarrass you.

but there wasn’t any.

“don’t you worry princess. you’re gonna get something even better” draco whispered as he winked down at you. your excitement level growing by the minute.

draco sucked on your sensitive breast as his hand made its way to his erect cock, gripping it while he teased your tight entrance. his other hand coming down to your thigh to expand your legs more. one of his thumb traveled through your glistening folds, smirking at how wet you were.

“i’ve never wanted to fuck someone so bad, until now” he breathed against your collarbone, your hands gripping his muscular forearms tightly. his words made you let out a soft moan before you realized.

he entered you as his mouth filled with praises, praises that made you clench around him in the most delicious way possible. after years of not having sex, this was all you needed.

“fuck— you feel so good, princess” he moaned lowly, your moans getting louder as he thrust in and out of your tight hole. one of your hands was placed on top of your mouth, trying to be silent.

“these walls are pretty thick. which means we can be as loud as we want” he spoke to you as he took your hand off your mouth and started thrusting his hips even faster. his grunts were the most arousing things you would ever hear.

his thrusts got harsher, making your tits bounce up and down repeatedly. loud whines and moans were heard coming from you as you dug your nails into his soft skin. his balls slapping against your skin while he circled your clit rapidly.

“you look so pretty with my cock inside of you, sweetheart. see how i’m filling you up?” he said with a hoarse voice. you whined ‘yesyesyes’ as he lifted your leg to his waist, the new position making him hit your g-spot repeatedly.

“you’re doing so good f'me baby— shit” the attractive man swore as he felt you clench around him. he fisted the bedsheets from the pleasure. his thrusts were getting rougher, balls slapping against your skin.

“are— ” malfoy breathed “are you clo—close?” he asked before he connected his lips to your overstimulated nipples once again. he roughly massaged the other breast, slapping it once in a while. his main goal is to make you cum before him.

“yes!” you gasped when draco’s big hands suddenly held your hips, lifting them to reach even further into you. he was going at an animalistic speed, you couldn’t even keep up.

“c’mon, come for me baby, show me how good you feel” he breathed against your lips, you grabbed the back of his head, pushing him down on you, kissing him roughly while you were thrown off the edge.

the two of you moaned against each other’s mouth as you squeezed malfoy’s cock tightly, milking him down. draco kept thrusting into you, his cum spilling out too, riding you out of your high. the blonde man disconnected his lips from yours as he pulled out.

the sensation of pulling out made you both moan softly, both cums dripping out of your hole and onto the bedsheets. draco was quick to collect the dripping cum and shove it inside of you with his fingers, causing you to arch your back off the bed and moan softly at the feeling of his fingers.

after catching your breath, you opened your eyes just to see the 27-year-old man that you just fucked beside the bed, who was already looking down at you with a sweaty face. and you would be lying if you said that his next words didn’t make you wet.

“i’m not done with you, yet. get in all four for me, darling”

—————

[watchmegetobsessed]

THE DEAL

a/n: i literally wrote it in less than a day because i was inspired by a movie... of god, i have issues, but ANYWAYS! this one is a classic friends with benefits to lovers story with so much angst and a grandiose love confession at the end so buckle up, you are in for a treat!! PLEASE PLEASE PLEEEEASE give feedback if you enjoyed it!!

pairing: Harry X Reader

warnings: some, drinking, sexual content, a hell lot of it, angst and messy emotions, it’s a lot!!

word count: 11.8k

masterlist

If your life was some romantic comedy his would be the moment where the camera would zoom on you, your eyes blankly glued to the ceiling, makeup from last night smudged under them as a muscular, inked arm gets thrown across your chest, a snoozing man beside you as you have the internal little monologue.

“You’re wondering how I got into this situation, right? Completely naked with one of my best friends after a night spent with heavy drinking and ending up fucking in his apartment until we both fell asleep.”

Yeah, this is probably what the voiceover would say as the camera would slowly get farther from you, Harry’s sleeping figure coming into the frame while you’re still lying like a damn statue. This was not supposed to happen. Not that it was bad, because oh God! Harry really is as good as his ex-girlfriends gushed to you when you met them on night outs. You could never blame the women for falling for him, he has the charm, the personality, the humor and definitely the looks. If you weren’t you, you’d be one of those girls who would do anything to get his attention just for a split second. But you’re not.

Growing up with a single mother that was repeatedly fucked over by several men, you were taught to be the kind of independent woman who needs no man. Who only uses them for whatever reason and throws them away before they could even realize what’s happening. Feelings could never be involved in the equations, those are just not for you.

For a while you thought you weren’t even capable of feeling anything at all. But the way you cried when your hamster you got for your sixteenth birthday died changed your mind and you realized that you are just saving yourself the time of allowing people to make you develop feelings for them and then give them the chance to break your heart. You’ve seen that happen to your mother enough times to know that you don’t want to go through that. It’s not worth it and why would you risk it all when you could easily get what you need and move on to the next one?

Your friends always joked how you’re gonna be the single aunt to their children later who would take them to clubs and honestly? You’re just fine with that. Because you always thought that while your married friends will be busy with keeping their marriage together with whatever pathetic man they chose to marry, you’ll be living your best life without a worry on the world. That sounds pretty good for you.

There’s no need to make it prettier than what it is, you’ve had a lot of hookups the past years but you always tried to keep yourself in check, have some kind of rules to follow so you don’t hurt yourself or anyone else in the process. One of those were that under no circumstances would you ever sleep with a friend. No matter how badly you want to, no matter if they are begging, it can never happen.

But you broke that rule.

Turning your head to the side you look at Harry’s sleeping face squished into the pillow and you almost wince, because you know that when he wakes up, this gonna hurt like a bitch. He’s gonna freak out, or what’s worse, he’ll want to take it further, take you out on a date… be in a relationship with you! And you’ll have to break his heart because none of those will ever happen.

You and Harry went to high school together and he is one of the very few people you stayed in touch after graduation. Though you grew a little apart when you went to different universities, later on you both somehow ended up in New York and while you’re working as a graphic designer at a magazine, Harry is making good money from writing music for other artists. He’s been one of your closest friends these past years and while you’ve always found him attractive, you should have never let this happen, because it will mess everything up and you didn’t want to lose such a good friend.

Harry stirs in his sleep next to you, his hand squeezing your side before his eyes blink open, green irises finding your wide eyes. He stops for a moment, looking around, taking in his surroundings before his eyes fall closed again.

“Wow, must have been one wild night?” he mumbles into the pillow before a raspy chuckle falls from his lips.

Last night, the two of you and a couple of your mutual friends celebrated that Harry has gotten his biggest deal so far, having to write an entire album for an up-and-coming artist, so you all got pretty wasted, especially you and him. It’s a little blurry how the two of you ended up like this, but you do remember wildly making out hidden somewhere behind the bar before he asked if you wanted to come to his place. You stupid little thing, should have said no…

Groaning, Harry rolls to his back, his arm falling from you as he lies sprawled out next to you.

“The tequila shots. Shouldn’t have had them,” you rasp out, a smirk tugging on his lips at your words. “So, um… we both can agree this was a one time thing, right?”

Harry peeks at you, pushing himself up a bit so his head rests against the headboard. The sheets slide down a bit lower on his body, revealing his toned chest and his several tattoos. Memories of you kissing them eagerly last night flash into your mind and you can only hope you’re not blushing like a school girl.

“What if I don’t agree?” Harry cocks an eyebrow and you almost groan. You knew this was going to happen!

“Harry, I’m not going out with you. You know me, I don’t do that. It’s nice that you think that it could work between us, but I don’t do relationships and I’m not changing my rules, not even for you.”

Harry starts laughing, as if you just said the best joke of the century, his fingers pinching the bridge of his nose. You give him a puzzled look as you sit up, holding the sheets to your chest.

“Who talked about dating, Y/N?” he then asks. “You said last night was a one time thing. We fucked last night. What if that wasn’t the only time we did that?”

You start to put the pieces together, though you’d definitely be sharper if you already had your first coffee of the day.

“Are you trying to start a… friends with benefits thing with me?”

“I mean, you could call it whatever you want. I personally really enjoyed last night and judging from the way you were screaming my name, you did too.” Now you’re for sure blushing. “Why not do it again?”

“This is not a movie, H. I don’t think it’s manageable without ruining our friendship.”

“Have you ever tried something like this?” You shake your head no. “Then how could you know?”

“Have you tried it?”

“Never,” he chuckles. “But that doesn’t mean I’m wrong. We are both cool, smart people. I think we can give it a try and whenever someone is feeling like they had enough, we’re just gonna stop.”

“What if you catch feelings?” you ask, raising eyebrows at him.

“Oh, but what if you fall for me?” he throws the question back with a cocky smirk and you smack his naked chest.

“You know I never do that!”

“I don’t think you can just decide that, but alright,” he chuckles, holding his hands up in defense. “I promise you I won’t catch feelings for you, Y/N. I swear on my…”

“Your mom’s and sister’s life!” you point at him. It’s clear that he thinks it’s silly, but you just keep staring at him until he gives in.

“I swear on my mum’s and my sister’s life that I will not catch feelings for you, Y/N.”

“Alright. And we can end it anytime?”

“Whenever you’ve had enough of me,” he smirks back, so pleased with himself that it’s clear he doesn’t think that could ever happen.

“If you keep that cocky look on your face it’s gonna be a very short deal, Styles,” you warn him, but he just laughs before he quickly pulls you back down to bed, getting on top of you, his hips sinking between your legs and you gasp when you feel that he is already semi-hard.

“Why don’t we get a head start on it then?” he offers, his lips crashing against yours before they travel down your body and soon enough he gives you something that’s a thousand times better than a coffee in the morning.

At first you’re clearly hesitant about it. Not sure if it was a good idea or you just ruined everything between you and Harry, but soon enough you realize that it wasn’t as bad of a decision as you thought it to be.

Harry is the one to call you for the first time, two days after the night you drunkenly hooked up. You’re just leaving the office when he hits you up, asking if you have plans for the night or you’re free to go over to his place. An hour later you find yourself pressed up against the wall of his apartment’s hallway, both of you eager to get each other out of your clothes. Now that it all happens without either of you being drunk, you actually have the chance to think about how good it is with him. He is just the perfect mixture of dominant and soft, knows when to be the boss and when he has to slow down a bit.

He makes you cum three times. Three mind-blowing times, and you also give him two orgasms. You try to make it equal and make it three, but he respectfully says no.

“If you touched my dick again I think I would start crying,” he chuckles jokingly, so you don’t even think about pushing it.

Instead, the two of you order Chinese, have dinner together, talking like you always used to before the deal and then you go home. There’s no awkwardness, no weird situations, not even when you leave. Harry leans closer and for a moment you think he is gonna be corny and kiss you goodbye, but then you feel him smack your ass before pushing you out the door, just like he always did before, joking about how he is gonna charge you rent if you stay any longer.

Nothing has changed, only that you now spend a good chunk of your time together naked, moaning each other’s name before you get back to your usual.

So after that you don’t shy away from reaching out to Harry as well. It becomes a regular thing, the two of you meeting up about two of three times a week. You fuck, hang out a bit and go your separate ways. Slowly, you start to forget about times when you stayed dressed up for more than ten minutes after meeting Harry.

You keep switching between your and his place, but sometimes meet somewhere in the middle. You’ve had sex in a restaurant bathroom, in his car in a parking garage and even in his cousin’s place in Brooklyn. That was a bit odd but still quite pleasing.

Tonight is going to be the first time you’re gonna be out with all your friends and Harry since the deal was made. No one knows about it and you intend to keep it that way.

Once you’re done at work you head home, texting Leticia, another friend from high school to meet you at your place to get ready together. She was Harry’s friend at first, what’s better, she openly hated you at first for some reason.

“You just had a punchable face at fifteen, you can’t blame me,” she used to tell you. It was actually Harry who made the two of you friends and you’ve been close ever since.

You get to your apartment almost at the same time. Leticia starts rambling about her asshole of a boss at the law firm where she works at as you open a bottle of wine to start the evening while you roam through your wardrobe for an outfit.

“Is Leo coming? I owe him a few bucks from last time,” Leticia wonders, digging into your dresser for a pair of tights she can borrow to pair with her leather skirt.

“I think he is, but he is going to be late. He is coming from Staten Island from his dad’s,” you muse, checking yourself out in the red dress you just tried on, not quite pleased with the look, so you quickly work down the zipper and look for something else.

“Um, whose is this?”

Turning around you see that Leticia is holding up a shirt Harry left at yours a few days ago. She is clearly confused about the men’s clothing between your stuff, because you are not one to steal them from the men you sleep with since you don’t really want anything from them to remind you of them.

“Oh, um, that’s… That’s Harry’s. He left it here a few days ago,” you shrug, not making a big deal out of it, but Leticia is nosier than that.

“And why is Harry leaving his clothes around your place?”

“Is that a crime?” you snort, trying to play it cool.

“No, but in what kind of situation did this shirt come off of Harry and end up in your dresser?”

You can’t think of a good answer that would stop her from interrogating you, and the way you’ve just gotten silent is telling her more than words could. She drops the shirt, eyes widening at you and it’s clear that she put two and two together.

“Oh my God! You’re sleeping with Harry!”

“No! I’m… I just—We…”

“You two are totally fucking! What the fuck!” she gasps in complete shock as you pinch the bridge of your nose.

“Let me explain it, alright? W-We hooked up on the night when we went out to celebrate his big album deal.”

“When I couldn’t go, right?”

“Yeah. So we were both very drunk and it just happened. And I really thought it would ruin everything but we somehow ended up making a deal.”

“Jesus, you guys are acting out the Friends With Benefits movie? Who are you, Mila fucking Kunis?”

“It’s not like that!” you defend yourself quickly, but then you realize that it’s just like that so far. “Well, it kind of is, but the ending won’t be like that.”

“Do you really think you can just do it with absolutely no strings?” Leticia sighs, her hands coming to her hips as she stares back at you.

“It’s been going great, so I really think it’s doable. And if any of us decides they had enough, we’ll just call it quits.”

“Yeah, because it’s that easy,” she rolls her eyes. “One of you will catch feelings and someone is gonna end up crying, Y/N.”

“No, that’s not gonna happen,” you shake your head stubbornly. “He promised it won’t happen.”

“Feelings don’t give a shit about promises! I hope you really know what you’re doing, because I don’t want to have to choose between the two of you,” she grumbles before throwing Harry’s shirt back into the drawer, grabbing the tights she’s been looking for.

Leticia doesn’t hold a grudge for the news she just found out, but she surely has gotten you thinking. Is it really gonna end bad? Why can’t there be a scenario where it goes perfectly fine and no one gets hurt? Harry promised it’s gonna be alright and he has been proven right so far, so why are you having second guesses now?

Arriving at the bar the majority of your friend group is already there, including Harry. You sit across him in the small booth, just exchanging a quick smile before the first round arrives and the evening starts. You allow yourself to take a better look at him while he listens to Mitch’s story and you can’t say that you don’t find him hot. He is wearing a vintage, floral printed shirt, the first few buttons left undone, so you have a nice view of his chest and his necklace you’ve felt under your lips so many times before when you were kissing down his body. He keeps twisting and playing with his several rings and it makes you stare at his hands for a tad bit longer than you intended to. God, he looks so damn good, you really just want to fuck him here and now.

You keep changing who goes up to the bar to order and the third round is yours, so sliding out of the booth you go to the bar and wait for your turn. A young, handsome guy is making the drinks and you clearly catch his eyes.

“And what can I get for you, beautiful?” he smirks at you when it’s finally your turn.

“Two vodka sodas, a martini and three vodka cranberries,” you smile back at him with a hint of flirting in your tone.

It’s kind of second nature to you, a few charming smiles and winks have gotten a lot of free things for you in your life and you never miss a chance to use your advances.

“All that for one pretty girl?” he teases you.

“I would be all over the floor if I drank all of it,” you chuckle, pulling your card out of your wallet, tapping it on the terminal as he finishes up the drinks, kindly putting them on a tray so you can easily bring them over to the booth.

“Don’t worry, I would surely pick you up then,” he winks at you, placing the last drink to the tray before you thank him and head back.

As you take your previous seat you notice that Harry is watching you intently.

“What?” you mouth him over the conversation at the table.

“Nothing,” he shakes his head, turning his gaze away, grabbing his drink and focusing back on everyone else.

You go up to the bar two more times, once to ask for some chips and once for some napkins after a drink has gotten spilt onto the table. Every time you exchange a few words with the bartender and you have to admit, he has a great sense of humor paired with his looks.

Sometime later in the evening you decide to switch to water, so you go up to the bar a fourth time, the bartender coming to you right away at this point. As you wait for him to grab you your drink you feel a hand on your lower back. Turning to the side you see Harry standing next to you.

“Hey, want to come to my place after this?” he asks, leaning closer to your ear. His hot breath hits your exposed skin on your neck and a shudder runs down your spine, especially with his hand still on the small of your back.

“You want a rerun of your first time?” you smirk back at him, referring to the drinks you both have had, though it’s definitely not as wild as that night was.

“No, but this dress is making it hard not to want to rip it off,” he bluntly tells you as you glance down at yourself. At last you decided to wear a black bodycon dress that surely shows every dip and curve of your body and apparently Harry has been enjoying the show.

The bartender arrives with your water, his eyes falling on Harry and you see that he is a little taken aback by his presence.

“Hey man, can you get me another one as well? I’ll pay for both,” Harry nods at him and there’s something foreign in his tone that you can’t really put your finger on. The bartender just nods back and goes to grab another water.

“What if I wasn’t in the mood?” you tease him, continuing the discussion where you left it a moment ago.

“Oh, please!” he chuckles smugly. “I saw you eyeing me from across the table, Y/N. I know you are definitely in the mood.”

He is right. So damn right. You’ve been crossing your legs under the table for a while now, feeling your arousal growing every time you saw him run his tongue over his lips or whenever his finger played with the lip of his glass, imagining him doing the same with your body.

Biting into your bottom lip you need to take a deep breath, but when Harry sees your teeth digging into your lip, he loses his patience.

“Or we can just do it now,” he growls lowly, grabbing your hand before he starts pulling you towards the restrooms. You don’t even have the chance to protest, not that you want to.

He is quick to pull you into an empty restroom, locking the door behind the two of you before his lips attack yours, pushing you against the door with vigor and hunger. His hands are already bunching your dress up around your waist and you moan his name when your hips meet and you feel his hard length through his jeans.

“We have to be quick, so no one notices we disappeared,” he pants as he helps you up to the counter, your back hitting the cold mirror behind you.

“Then shut up and just fuck me,” you challenge him and it makes him absolutely feral.

You don’t have time to enjoy it the way you usually do in bed, but the excitement of the situation alone has gotten you so wet that you’re already dripping when he pushes your panties to the side with one hand while his other works on his own pants.

“Fuck, already so wet for me, huh?” he breathes out, his lips brushing against yours before they kiss you fully.

“Just like how you’re rock hard for me,” you grin against his lips, a hand wandering down to his cock as you pull it out of his boxers, stroking it a few times before he pulls a condom out of his back pocket and wraps himself up. “Were you counting on this quickie, Styles?” you ask when you realize that he just had a condom ready on him.

“I knew for sure I’m gonna fuck you tonight, but wasn’t sure how long I’m gonna last,” he grins, capturing your lips again before he pushes himself inside you with no warning, making you both gasp.

“Fuck! Harry!” you moan as he starts moving rapidly, definitely not taking his time like he usually does. He is pounding into you without mercy, panting against your lips as his ring clad fingers are digging into the flesh of your thighs.

“You like that? Like it when I fuck you somewhere public?” he growls, making your legs curl around his hips.

Your hands move up his chest and neck, fingers tangling into his curls and you give them a tug, earning an animalistic grunt from him as he starts going even harder and faster. You’re rapidly getting closer to your orgasm.

“You close?” he pants and you nod. “Come on, cum all over my cock, Y/N.”

A few more thrusts and your walls tighten around his dick, squeezing him as you gasp, riding your high, your head falling backwards, meeting with the mirror behind you. Harry follows you a few pushes later, moaning your name repeatedly before his movements come to a halt and you both take a moment to catch your breath.

When he pulls out you both just quietly clean yourselves up, fixing your clothes and hair so you don’t entirely scream sex with your appearances.

“My offer to come to mine after still stands,” he smirks, running a hand through his hair before you head out.

“Tempting, but I have some work to do in the morning, so no,” you turn him down, stepping out to the dark hallway that leads back to the bar. Harry grabs your hand and pulls you back, his lips smashing against yours, surprising you with his move. He kisses you deeply, sucking on your bottom lip hard before he pulls back.

“What was that for?” you ask out of breath.

“If you’re not coming over, I needed something to have a good night,” he shrugs with a smug smirk before you return to the bar.

You catch the bartender’s look as you finally get your waters and Harry pays for them. You catch the two men eyeing each other for a moment before you and Harry return to the table and you forget about the whole thing.

A Sunday afternoon you’re lounging at Harry’s. You jumped at each other’s bones when you arrived, but now you’re chilling on his couch, watching a series you both wanted to start so you decided to give it a go together. Your leg is lying across Harry’s lap, his hands absentmindedly kneading your thighs. It feels nice, like a massage, especially after how sore he made you earlier, stretching you out more than he usually does with a new pose you tried out.

Your phone chimes next to you and tearing your gaze away from the TV you check to see who just sent you a text. It was one of your coworkers, Anthony, he sent you a raging text about how he still has no idea what to wear to the company party that’s gonna be next Saturday and you realize that you totally forgot about it.

“Shit!” you curse under your breath.

“What?” Harry asks, pausing the show.

“I have this stupid work party next weekend and I totally forgot about it,” you growl, checking your calendar quickly if you can squeeze in a quick shopping spree before Saturday or you’ll have to find something in your closet.

“Aren’t those things nice with a lot of free food and drinks?” Harry wonders.

“Yeah, but I don’t like it, because all my colleagues bring their partners and I’m usually the only single one and they keep trying to set me up with someone,” you roll your eyes even at the thought of having to suffer through another one of those awkward conversations about your love life. Like it’s any of their concern!

“I can go with you if that helps,” he offers and you give him a look over your phone. “What? I’m sure if you brought someone they wouldn’t bug you.”

“But we are not together,” you remind him narrowing your eyes at him.

“They don’t have to know that. It’s a win-win, Y/N. Your colleagues would stop nagging you and I can eat and drink for free,” he smirks, clearly pleased with his little plan.

“I mean… you’re not wrong,” you sigh.

“See? Then it’s settled,” he pats your legs, smirking widely at you, but you’re still not entirely convinced. “Come on, Y/N. It’s gonna be fun!”

“This is so cliché, Harry!” you groan, your head falling back against the arm of the couch. “Pretending to be a couple? Straight out of a damn movie.”

Harry lifts your legs up so he can get out from under them, placing them back to the cushion before he climbs over to you, half of his body pressing onto yours as he squints his eyes at you.

“We can fuck in the bathroom, if you want,” he bluntly offers and you just start laughing at his dirty mind and technique of convincing you. “What? There’s literally no better offer out there. Free food, free drinks and free sex. Really good sex, if I may add,” he points out and you smack his chest lightly.

“Didn’t know you were thinking about charging me for the sex,” you joke.

“Might as well do, baby. Especially if it’s the best you can get,” he smugly huffs and you’d retort something funny, but you get caught up on the name.

“Baby? Since when are you calling me baby?”

“Since we are gonna be a couple next week. Gotta rehearse, baby,” he repeats the nickname and a foreign feeling bubbles in the pit of your stomach. Why is this one little word making you feel things you haven’t before? “And you know what else we can rehearse?” he continues, oblivious to your inner dialogue.

You don’t get to answer upon feeling his hand slide between your legs, fingers gently pressing onto your clothed clit and though you can’t stop a moan from slipping through your lips, you still grab his wrist and pull him away.

“My legs are too sore, I wouldn’t enjoy another round of you pounding into me,” you tell him and you can see the proud glimmer in his eyes that he was the one who got you into this state, though he luckily doesn’t comment on it.

“It doesn’t have to be pounding, then,” he smirks and leaning down he kisses you, taking his time as his hand frees itself from your grip and slides under your shorts and panties, fingers meeting your already throbbing bud.

He repositions himself so one of his thighs are between your legs, his lips never leaving yours as his fingers start drawing circles on your clit, sending pleasure down your body in waves.

“Fuck,” you breathe out against his lips when two of his fingers tease your entrance before pushing all the way inside, curling them between your clenching, wet walls.

“No, we are not fucking right now,” he smirks, never missing a chance to joke around and you want to retort to his comment, but words get caught in your throat when his thumb starts playing with your clit, fingers sliding in and out of you in a steady rhythm.

“So, are we on for Saturday? It’s gonna be fun, hm?”

The little shit is using his fingers to convince you and he has the audacity to ask you questions when you are about to see stars. Sometimes you really do hate how big of a smug fucker Harry is, but it’s hard to feel hatred for him when he is about to make you cum again.

“I-I don’t… Harry!” you gasp when he abruptly pulls his fingers out of you, right when you were so close. “I was about to fucking cum!” you growl, raging eyes meeting his green irises.

“I know,” he chuckles. “Say that you’re in and I’ll make you cum.”

“You motherfu—“

You don’t get to finish, his lips smashing against yours as his fingers return, moving faster than before, quickly pushing you towards the edge again.

“Say it. Say it, Y/N,” he mumbles against your lips as your chest is heaving and you start buckling your hips to meet his movements.

“Fuck… Okay! I’m in, just please make me cum!” you whine, hands gripping his shoulders like your life depends on it.

“Good girl,” he smirks and finishes you off without any more teasing.

You cry out his name, fingers digging into his muscles as you push your thighs together, trapping his hand between them while he keeps fingering you oh so perfectly. He makes sure you ride out the last waves of your orgasm before he pulls his fingers out and without batting an eye, he just licks them and fixes your panties and shorts before returning to his previous position with your legs across his lap, starting the show like nothing really happened.

Saturday morning you’re able to quickly get your nails done and Leticia comes with you, the two of you having brunch together afterwards. You go to a new place near the nail salon and as the waiter arrives with your orders, you notice that he slides a napkin onto the table with a small smile.

Grabbing it you see a phone number scribbled onto it. Normally, you send back a smile and tug the napkin into your purse, but this time you just leave it on the table and decide to ignore it.

“What the hell is up with you?” Leticia asks and glancing up at her you see her gesturing towards the napkin. “You don’t seem too thrilled about the approach which is very unlike you.”

“Yeah, I don’t know. I’m just… not interested,” you shrug, reaching for your fork.

“Not interested? The dude looks like the lovechild of Chris Hemsworth and Johnny Depp. He is exactly your type, what the fuck is wrong with you?”

“I’m just not seeking another hookup right now, that’s it.”

“Oh my God!” Leticia gasps and you give her a puzzled look.

“What?”

“You don’t want other men because of Harry!”

“What? That’s crazy,” you laugh, because she has clearly left her mind at the salon for even thinking that.

“Have you hooked up with anyone else than Harry since you’ve made your little deal?”

“I, uhh… Flirted with the bartender when we were out together.”

“Flirting doesn’t count, not even in relationships.”

“I don’t think many would agree with that, Tish,” you huff.

“Okay, but did you have any interest in fucking someone else?”

“I don’t get it why you are making a big deal out of it. Why would I seek anyone else if I’m perfectly pleased by him?”

“Honey, that’s like… how relationships work.”

“That’s not true,” you shake your head, though what would you know about relationships? Your first and only one was when you were seventeen and it lasted twenty-one pathetic days.

“Are you fucking with anyone else?” She asks, eyebrows raised at you as you shake your head no. “Are you fucking him?”

“Obviously,” you scoff.

“Do you spend time together that doesn’t include sex?”

You are almost quick to say no, but then you realize that would be a big ass lie. Every time he comes over to your place or you’re at his, it’s never just the sex. That’s always primary, but not everything you do. All the dinners, the movies and shows you’ve watched together, when you sit on your tiny balcony with a bottle of wine, talking and laughing like you always did before the deal, something always happens after the sex.

Your silence once again answers Leticia’s question. Reaching over the table she takes your hand in hers, giving it a soft squeeze.

“Girl, you are totally dating Harry.”

Leticia once again manages to put a flea in your ear about this whole Harry thing. You wish she didn’t say a thing, because now you can’t think of anything else than the fact that you really are doing all the things with Harry that people who are dating do.

You get so riled up that you almost cancel on the evening, but you’d hate to have to sit through the evening with your colleagues alone when you said you’d be bringing someone. That would make their usual nagging a hundred times worse. So instead, you suck it up and decide to ignore the issue just for the time being and you get ready.

You were able to find a new dress beforehand, the yellow dress is truly a sight to the sore eyes with the corset-like top and very subtle lace details here and there. It’s a little daring, but everyone goes all out for these parties usually and you definitely don’t want to be underdressed.

Harry texts you that he is in front of the building a little before seven, holding up the taxi he came with so you quickly grab everything you need and head out.

You’re the first one to see him through the glass entrance doors of your building, he is standing next to the car in a simple black suit and a soft yellow shirt underneath. It was actually your idea to match your outfits and he surely understood the assignment, especially seeing his also yellow nails.

Part of you is still hung up on what Leticia told you, but a bigger one is so excited to see him and also very into his look for the evening, that you push your doubts to the back of your mind and step out of the building with a shy smile on your lips as his eyes fall on you and you see his lips part.

“Wow! This dress is… wow!” he breathes out, his eyes raking your frame up and down shamelessly as you walk closer.

“Do you know any other words than wow?” you tease him, biting into your bottom lip.

“Yeah. How about: I would love to bend you over this taxi and take you here and now in this dress?”

Your face heats up immediately, slapping his arm, but then you leave your hand on his bicep and give it a squeeze as your answer: you’d definitely love that if it wasn’t kind of illegal to have sex out on a busy street.

The ignorance in you is so high that you don’t even mind how Harry keeps a hand on your thigh in the car, what’s more, you’re quite liking the warmth of his touch on you. His fingers are gently tapping against the music the driver is playing and he even hums a little along the songs.

“Hey, how is the album writing going?” you ask to break the silence a little.

“Great! They asked for fifteen songs until the end of August, so I have plenty of time, but I’m already done with six,” he beams, and you smile back at him proudly.

“That’s amazing. Can I hear any of them sometime?”

“I mean… if you buy the album?” he chuckles, making you roll your eyes at him. “I’ll see what I can do about that,” he then adds, giving your leg another squeeze before turning towards the window.

The party is just the same as it always is. A luxurious evening to celebrate the company’s success in the past six months, a way to give back to the employees and make them feel appreciated with all the free stuff. It’s nice, but you don’t feel like it’s necessary, people would be happier with a raise after all, than one night of free food and drinks.

Harry holds your hand as you walk in, the majority of the guests already present, music playing and there are several open buffet tables and bars in the gigantic ballroom that was decorated in a forest-like theme just for tonight.

“So you did not lie about bringing a date!” Anthony beams as soon as he sees you, his boyfriend, Pete following him right behind, both of them wearing matching burgundy suits.

“Have I lied to you about anything?” you chuckle awkwardly.

“Plenty of times,” he points out before turning towards Harry. “Hello handsome, I’m Anthony, Y/N’s favorite coworker, and this is my boyfriend, Pete.” They all shake hands, Harry smiling back at them warmly before his hand finds yours again, his fingers lacing together with yours in an instant.

“Nice to meet you. I’ve heard a lot about you, I’m Harry.”

“Oh my! The accent!” Anthony gushes, clearly already a fan of Harry’s. “I was really afraid Y/N just said that she is bringing someone so we would get out of her hair this time.”

“I feel offended,” you give him a look, but he just shrugs it off, even though he is more right than he knows.

“Come on, let’s get you guys a drink, we are all sitting over there!”

Joining all your coworkers at the table, you get a head start on the food and drinks, not shying away from stacking everything you like onto your plate. Talking, mixing and mingling, Harry stays right next to you, charming everyone the two of you meet, earning you some approving looks from your colleagues that usually try to set you up with someone they know. This time, you’re left in peace the moment they see Harry with you, his hand always somewhere on you, holding your hand, the small of your back, your hips or waist or, your personal favorite, the back of your neck under your hair. His presence is uplifting already, but his tiny touches just warm you even more on the inside.

“I have to say, Y/N, you are absolutely glowing!” Dianne, one of the editors compliment you when the two of you are at the bar waiting for your drinks to be refilled. Harry stayed back at the table, deep in conversation with Pete about guitars, from what you could understand from their conversation.

“Oh, thank you!” you chuckle softly.

“This man is for sure treating you well. It’s so great to see you finally finding your person.”

She meant well with her comment, but it’s what brings everything you kept hidden in the back of your head out to the front. Tonight was supposed to be all pretending, making everyone believe something that’s not even there, but then why do you feel like it’s real? Like you fooled yourself with everyone else as well?

Your eyes fall back to Harry at the table, who is intently listening to something Pete is telling him and as if he had a sixth sense, his eyes snap at you, a smile stretching across his pretty face at an instant that makes you stomach dance again, heart beating oddly fast.

What is happening to you? This cannot be real, you can’t be having feelings, especially not for Harry. No, you do not allow that for yourself, emotions are off limits for you, because if you fall for someone that gives them the chance to leave you and break you and you’ve seen what it does to a woman. You got enough of the suffering through your mother and you vowed not to let it happen to you. And not even Harry Styles will change that. This is about sex and nothing else, no feelings are involved and that will not change. You won’t let it.

Excusing yourself from Dianne you quickly go back to the table, the refills long forgotten as you take your seat next to Harry. His hand instantly finds your leg as he looks at you with a sweet smile at first that turns into slight confusion.

“Thought you went for a refill?”

“Forget the drinks,” you shake your head, leaning closer to his ear. “You promised me bathroom sex.”

You feel the shift in him right away, how he bites into his bottom lip, his bright green irises darkening at your words, his hold on your leg tightening. His gaze flickers to your eyes and you want to devour him, you want him to take you here and there to prove you that this is all it’s about: sex.

Clearing his throat he mumbles a lame excuse as he pulls you from your chair, tugging you towards the restrooms, you try to keep up with his pace in your heels, but you also can’t wait for him to slam you against the door and fuck you quick and hard.

As soon as you’re locked away from the party in one of the bathrooms, your lips collide with his as he pushes you up against the door, a leg coming between your thighs and you can’t stop yourself from grinding on him.

“Fuck,” he rasps out, hands cupping your jaw as he angles your head just right while your hands are already traveling down his body to reach his pants, eager to get them undone as fast as possible.

However the sudden rush and desperation catches Harry’s eyes and he grabs your hands, stopping you mid-action.

“Hey, everything alright?” he asks, out of breath, concern filling his eyes.

“I just need you to fuck me,” you bluntly reply, but he doesn’t move.

“Okay, but why do you look so shaken up? Did something happen?”

“Harry, stop babying me! I said I’m fine, I just want you to fuck me!” you snap, losing your patience. Not sure if it’s with him or with yourself though.

“You’re obviously not fine! You are snapping at me for being decent and making sure you’re okay!” Harry steps away from you, the moment completely ruined as all physical contact ends with him, his eyes staring back at you in disbelief and you feel like a ticking bomb that’s about to explode.

“It’s not your concern if I’m okay or not. We have a deal, just go with that and leave the rest to me!”

“But above the deal we are friends too. I’m not gonna just… fuck you senseless when you’re obviously upset about something. You’re not in the right mindset.”

“Oh my God, stop being so fucking nice! Stop making these grand gestures and stop pretending like you give a fuck!” You raise your voice and it surely surprises him, but he is still more concerned than angry at your outburst.

“What do you mean pretending? I do care about you! Is that a fucking crime now?!”

“It is because it is for the wrong reasons!” you retort, feeling your throat closing up at the same time. Oh God, you hope you won’t start crying, that will make it even worse. “I think you are taking this pretending a little too far tonight. We are not a couple, this is not real, Harry,” you remind him.

He stares back at you for what feels like eternity and you wish you could read his mind, because you can’t read anything from his eyes, he just stands there like a statue and you feel panic crawling up your spine, slowly digging its claws into your flesh.

And then he finally breaks his silence.

“And would it be so bad if it was real?”

You can’t help a sob that emits from you, feeling like your guts are in a tight grip by his words. This is exactly what you didn’t want to happen.

“No, take that back!” you whine.

“I’m not taking it back! Y/N, what we’ve been doing these past weeks is exactly what a relationship is like and you didn’t seem to have a problem with it until a label was put on it. It doesn’t have to change anything!”

“But it is! And you know I don’t do this!”

“Don’t do what? Feelings? You don’t get to choose that!” he chuckles bitterly.

“I do! I fucking do! And I chose not to have them so… this is ending here, because you clearly caught feelings,” you pant in desperate need of getting out of the bathroom, but when you are about to open the door Harry’s hand snaps against it, keeping it closed. You rest your forehead against the cool surface of it, feeling Harry stand so close to you behind, his chest is touching your back.

“Don’t just walk away, we are in the middle of a conversation,” he growls, his voice filled with anger and warning.

“I don’t have anything to say to you,” you whisper, shaking your head as you turn around and face him, your back pressing against the door.

“But I do,” he simply replies. “Why do you think you can just run away from feeling anything for the rest of your life? Why would it be so bad if you fell for someone, huh? I know you do have feelings, I know you well, Y/N. You’re not some cold hearted jerk, you are a caring and loving person, so why won’t you let yourself be happy?”

“I am happy the way I am, have you thought about that?”

“No, you’re not. I’ve known you half my life, I know that you want to be cared for, you want to be loved and cherished, yet you push away everyone who wants to give you that.”

“Because it’s not that easy, Harry!” you snap at him. “It’s never just the lovey-dovey shit! Feelings come with hurt and pain and heartbreaks and I don’t need that! I can’t handle that!”

“It’s not always the case! But if you never put yourself out there, you’ll never find the happiness you’re seeking!”

“Well, for me, it doesn’t worth it! I don’t want to fall for someone, plan my future with them and open up to them completely only for them to fall out of love with me one day and decide they don’t want anything to do with me! I don’t want to give anyone the chance to hurt me like that, because I’ve seen what it does to a person! I witnessed it all, Harry! I will not be a victim to that!”

You’re full on shouting, tears rolling down your cheeks at this point. You are letting everything out that’s been bottled up deep inside of you all this time. Nothing can make you believe in the fairytale that will never become your reality and you rather save the time and pain than experiment with it.

What really hurts is that now you are losing your friend. Your best friend. Because the way Harry is looking at you makes it obvious that you’ll never be like before the deal. The hurt, the shock, the panic and the anger, it all mixes in his wide-eyed gaze and it’s like a knife into your chest.

“You promised me, Harry,” you sob, voice now barely more than just a whisper. “You swore you wouldn’t catch feelings but you lied!”

“I didn’t lie,” he simply answers clenching his jaw. “I said I wouldn’t catch feelings for you, but truth is… I already had them. I was already in love with you, have been for a while. And you know what? I think you love me too, but you’re just too afraid to admit it. I know it because I can feel it. The way you touch me, look at me, the way you talk to me, it’s written all over you, but you choose to ignore it.”

“You don’t know shit,” you shake your head vigorously. “You think you know it, but you don’t.”

“Stop denying it, Y/N! You can’t just switch it off! Loving is not as horrendous as you think it is! Yes, it comes with pain too, but the good is always there to make you forget about it. You have to give it… you have to give yourself a chance!”

“I don’t have to do anything, Harry,” you sass back, pushing him away so you have the chance to sneak out of the room before he could stop you. But he doesn’t let it end that easily. Running after you he catches your wrist before you could get out of the hallway, pulling you back.

“Don’t just fucking walk away, Y/N! We need to talk about this!”

“No, we don’t. And I’m done with this. Done with… you.”

It hurts. The words rolling off of your tongue hurt, but you choose to ignore it once again as you shake his hand off of yourself, marching back to your table to grab your bag and leave.

“What do you mean you’re done with me? Don’t do this, Y/N! Let’s just fucking talk!”

Harry keeps trying to stop you, but you’re determined to leave. Your coworkers notice the little scene, but you don’t pay it any attention as you head out of the room, knowing well they’ll talk shit about you behind your back as soon as you’re out of the building.

“Y/N for fuck’s sake just stop already!” Harry snaps, grabbing your arm once again when you’re outside, pulling you back, but you’ve had enough.

“No! I’m not stopping, you need to stop! Stop trying to make yourself believe this is anything more than just the deal we made! It’s not and it will never be, because you don’t get to have the privilege of hurting me, nobody gets to do that!”

“Who said I want to hurt you?! That’s the last thing I would want to do! It’s not as cruel as you imagine it, Y/N. I know that your mum had a terrible love life when you were younger, but that’s not the only side to love! There are so much good about it, so much to fight for and endure with the bad sides, you can’t just throw all of it out the window because you decided love is just not for you!”

“I can and I will. Watch me!” you bite back, tearing your arm out of his hold as you step to the side of the pavement and wave a taxi down.

“Please don’t get into that car, Y/N, let’s talk!”

“We talked enough,” you huff as the car stops in front of you and you hop inside, but just as you are about to close the door Harry once again stops you.

“Y/N, I love you. Please don’t do this!” he begs, so much sorrow and pain radiating from his face and for a moment you fall weak. You almost reach out to him, because part of you hates seeing him like this, especially knowing that it’s because of you. You just want him to be happy, but you know it’s not gonna be with you. You can never give him what he wants and needs. He’ll be better off without you.

“I’m sorry,” you choke out before pulling the door closed and the car drives away. Turning around you see him stand on the pavement, completely broken and shaken, his hands tangling into his hair as he angrily kicks at the dirt before the car melts into the traffic and he falls out of your sight.

You did it for your and Harry’s sake. It had to be done and you are both better off this way. At least that’s what you’ve been trying to convince you to believe.

But why does it hurt so badly then?

Harry tried you calling a million times after you left him at the party, he even came after you and banged on your door for thirty minutes straight, begging you to let him in and just talk, but you didn’t even answer him. Just waited until he left before you curled up in the shower and cried for about an hour.

The calls and texts kept coming in the next few days, but after a while he gave up. He got nothing but silence from your side and one last, long ass text that you didn’t even read because you knew you’d just start crying again, he finally gave up.

You were left alone with all the pain and emptiness and you realized how big part of your life Harry played before. Somehow, everything reminded you of him and you couldn’t do anything without wishing he was with you.

You truly believed that time will heal you, that soon you’ll realize that you made the right decision, but days turned into weeks and nothing changed, you just learned to live with the pain. You stopped going out with your friends and not just because you were afraid of seeing Harry, but because you genuinely couldn’t get yourself to leave the house. Your evenings consisted of binge eating all the ice-cream you could find in your freezer and watching reruns of your favorite shows, but nothing could really take your mind off of Harry.

Day after day you cancelled on Leticia as well until she had enough of your hermit life. She got fed up watching you sink into your pit of sorrow and decided to take things into her own hands and not let you run away from her.

A Friday evening you’re doing what you’ve been doing for weeks now, lying on your couch in sweatpants, scrolling through Netflix when there’s a knock on your door. You wait, hoping whoever it is will think you’re not home and go away, but another obnoxious knock rips through the apartment and you growl.

“I know you’re in there bitch, open the fucking door!” Leticia shouts from outside and you curse the day you became friends with her. Maybe you would have been better off as enemies.

“I’m busy!” you call out, but make your way to the front door anyway, opening it to reveal her.

“Yeah, I can see that. Busy with being a bag of trash,” she comments on your appearance, walking inside without an invitation.

“Jeez, you really did wake up today and chose violence,” you mutter under your breath as you shut the door closed.

Leticia is quick to turn the TV off and open up the windows as you just stand there, not sure what she is doing here.

“When did you clean this place? And when was the last time you took a shower?” she asks, her nose scrunching when she takes a better look at you.

“Okay, did you come here to offend me? Because I don’t need that so please leave.”

“No, I’m here to beat some sense into you.”

“Good luck with that,” you scoff, taking your spot on the couch once again. You reach for the remote with the intention of turning the TV back on, but Leticia stands in front of the screen, blocking the device completely as she stares down at you with a disapproving look, arms folded on her chest.

“You’re acting like a child, Y/N. Avoiding everyone and being mad at the whole world, are you an emo teenager now or what?”

“I’m not mad at the whole world!”

“Okay, then you’re mad at just Harry, still, it’s a mistake.”

“I’m not mad at only Harry either,” you admit truthfully.

“Who else then?”

“Myself?” you mumble, eyes falling closed as you slide lower down on the couch.

“That makes the two of us, but why are you mad at yourself?” she asks, finally moving from her spot in front of the TV as she sits next to you on the couch, crossing her legs as she waits for your answer.

“Because…” you start with a sigh, opening your eyes, but you avoid looking at her, instead, you stare at the wall across you. “Because I can’t fucking stop thinking about him,” you admit and your lips start trembling instantly, just like every time you think about him. “I miss him so fucking badly, Tish! I miss our conversations, I miss his stupid jokes, I miss him raiding my fucking fridge and I miss…”

You bite your tongue, not wanting to admit the next thoughts loudly. Because you miss kissing him, you miss holding him and be held by him. You miss sex too, but you miss the tiny things even more, the way his lips feel against yours, how he smiles against them when you whimper his name and you miss the awkward little things the most. When he accidentally bumps his head against yours or when say random shit right before he pushes into you just to make you laugh, or when he leans in for a kiss but misses it and ends up kissing your nose or just the corner of your mouth. You miss everything about him and you hate him for that, but you hate yourself even more. It feels like your own conscious has betrayed you.

Shutting your eyes closed you let the tears roll down your cheeks as Leticia scoots closer and wraps her arms around you, cooing soothingly at you.

“It’s alright. It’s totally normal, Y/N.”

“It is not! Not for me at least!” you protest pulling back, wiping your cheeks with the back of your hands.

“Stop with the bullshit already!” she growls in annoyance. “You are not some kind of ice queen who is incapable of loving! You love me, right?”

“Yeah, but that’s different,” you roll your eyes.

“Not really. You love your other friends as well, right?” You nod. “And you love your mom,” she adds and you nod again. “Would you do anything for these people?”

“Of course.”

“Do you like spending time with them? Do you care about them in all kinds of ways?”

“Yes,” you sigh, fumbling with the hem of your shirt.

“Do you feel the same way about Harry? Do you care about him, would you do anything for him to make him happy?”

“Yes,” you whisper truthfully.

“Then don’t complicate it. You love him, no big deal! And he surely loves you back, because he told you, right?” You nod. “Then pull your head out of your ass and just let yourself be happy for once.”

“Why are you coming with this too? I was happy on my own too!”

“No, you were getting by,” she points it out. “You were doing good, but you weren’t… a whole. Harry gave you everything you missed, but for some fucked up reason you think it’s the end of the world to depend on someone else partially when it comes to your happiness. Which can be a smart thing, it’s important to be your own person and be independent, but sometimes we need some help from others. From people that love us and we love them back. It’s not a crime, Y/N.”

“No, but it’s gonna end up with me being heartbroken.”

“You already are,” she ruthlessly replies, bringing your attention to what you’ve been trying to ignore all this time. “Hate to break it to you, but this is what that feels like. So why not just go with it, you already felt the pain, now you could go for the good parts as well.”

“I don’t know if I can do it, Tish,” you breathe out, resting your head against the back of the couch. “Even if I did it, I know I would mess it up and hurt him or maybe he’ll do something stupid and hurt me and I don’t think I can handle that.”

“So what? It’s part of the deal. And besides, you’re already hurting each other, so you better get your shit together,” she scoffs, poking your side playfully.

It’s part of the deal. Are you ready to make a new deal? One that you’ve been avoiding your whole life? Are you ready to cut yourself open for someone else and just hope for the best?

Probably not. And probably you’ll never be. But your tactics didn’t succeed so far, you still ended up in pain so why not give it a chance? Even if it’s gonna be the hardest thing you’ve ever done?

“Do you think he hates me now?” you ask quietly, peeking at her scared of her answer.

“He is a bit mad at you for shutting him out, but he could never hate you. That man loves you so much, it’s almost disgusting,” she admits, making you chuckle. “Just… be honest with him and talk to him. You need it. You both need it.”

Harry’s fingers strum against the chords again, trying to get the tune right, but he fails again, a frustrated growl leaving his lips as he lets his head fall forwards. He’s been trying to finish the song for hours, but it still hasn’t come together the way he imagined and his patience is running short.

It’s been hard for him to focus on writing, with you on his mind all the time, everything seems like a hard task. He has written plenty of songs since the night at the party, but he could never use them for his job. One, because they are so fucking sad and depressive and they asked for upbeat hits from him, and two, because they are all so personal, he could never give them to someone else. He can’t let anyone else sing the lines he wrote to you, but you’ll probably never hear them.

Giving up on finishing the song today, he puts the guitar aside and calls it a day. Walking into the kitchen he opens the fridge and realizes that it’s completely empty aside from a bottle of ketchup and a single banana. He’s been such a mess lately, he forgot to go grocery shopping yesterday. Huffing to himself he grabs the banana and reaches for his phone to order something right when his doorbell rings. He is not expecting anyone, but Mitch has been popping in every few days to check in on him since everything that went down with you, so Harry is convinced it’s him again.

“Great timing, do you want Italian or Chinese?” he asks, walking up to the door, but as he swings it open he freezes when he sees you standing on the doormat. “Y/N…” he breathes out as if he was seeing a ghost.

“Hi! I-I hope I’m not bothering you o-or anything…” you ramble nervously.

“No! No, come on in!” He snaps out of his trance and steps aside, letting you walk inside. A feeling of nostalgia hits you right away as you think back at the last time you were here. Just a few days before the party, when everything was different.

“I’m sorry I came without asking, I just… I would say I was nearby, but that’s not true,” you chuckle anxiously as the two of you walk into the living room. You notice that his place is a little messier than usually, but it’s not nearly as bad as yours was before you did a deep cleaning yesterday after Leticia’s comments on it.

“It’s fine, don’t worry about it. What… What brought you here?”

“I, uhh… I’ve been thinking. A lot. And I have a few things I need to tell you.”

For a moment Harry’s stomach drops, because he thinks you came here to tell him off one more time for breaking your deal, for everything that happened at the party. He is already bracing himself to just let you lash out on him, but it never comes. And when you speak up again, he nearly faints.

“I love you.”

It’s a strong start, definitely a surprising one. Harry’s lips part and his eyes widen, his look almost comical, but you’re not laughing, not now. You have a lot to tell him and you can only hope he won’t throw you out after everything is said.

“I love you and I’m sorry it took me so long to stop ignoring it, but I promise you I’m done with that. And I’m sorry for everything I said to you that night, I was… mad and confused and I didn’t know how to deal with everything at once. I was delusional and ignorant and… a fool for thinking that I could just choose to never have feelings, especially for you,” you add with a tiny, nervous chuckle. “You were right. About everything. That I can’t live without ever putting myself out there and risking it. And I think deep down I knew that, but I was so afraid of getting hurt that I made myself believe I’m good on my own, but I’m not. Not entirely, to be precise. Because sometimes it is worth risking it and… and I realized that you are the person for me who is worth this risk.”

The tears are already blurring your vision, for the millionth time these past weeks, but it feels right now. Opening up to Harry and telling him all of this is hard, but with every spoken word you feel lighter and more relieved.

“I’m sorry if I made you think that I don’t love you, because I do. I really do. You are my best friend and these past weeks have been hell for me without you. I was so keen on avoiding a heart break that I ended up breaking my own heart,” you chuckle bitterly, the first tear running down your cheek.

Harry reaches out and wipes it away with his thumb and you involuntarily melt into his touch. You’ve been starved for it and now it feels like home. When you look up and your eyes meet his, you see that they are red too and it just makes you want to cry even more.

“I didn’t mean to hurt you, I just thought that I was doing the right thing, but I was so far from that. So I’m really sorry and I understand if you don’t want to see me again for the way I acted. I was… a horrible friend and… an even worse girlfriend.”

“Girlfriend?” he asks quietly.

“Yeah. Because you were right, we were more than just the deal and… if you choose not to throw me out after this, I would… I would love to give it a try with you. I want to be the girlfriend you deserve and though I’m sure I’ll mess it up a lot of times, I promise I’ll try my best, becau—“

He makes your rambling stop in the best way possible, lips smashing against yours as he cups your tear-soaked cheeks in his warm palms, pulling you close to him, your arms curling around his waist immediately.

Harry has kissed you several times before, but none of them compares to this. It’s messy and salty from both your tears, but you wouldn’t change a thing about it, the way his lips move against yours, tongues meeting, devouring each other, making up for the lost time and full of promises for the future. You hold onto his shirt at his back for dear life as he just keeps kissing you over and over again until you both run out of breath.

“So, does this mean you’re not throwing me out?” you joke, breaking the silence once you’ve pulled back.

“Fuck no,” he laughs, pecking your lips a few more times before his lips meet your forehead. “You are not leaving this place, ever. You’re trapped,” he adds to the joke and you break out in a relieved laughter.

“Wait, so I’m stuck with you now?” you whine playfully, but all you get is another kiss on the lips, hard and demanding.

“Yeah, forever, baby. You won’t get rid of me now, not after the speech you just gave me,” he smirks down at you, his arms coming to curl around your shoulders as he keeps you pressed against him tightly. “I love you.”

“I love you too,” you reply, your heart soaring as you hear those words again from him, this time, not even trying to dodge them in any way. In fact, you just want to hear him say it every minute over and over again for the rest of your life. “And I’m happy to be stuck with you,” you add with a shy smile as his grin widens at your words.

“Yeah? So we have a new deal then?” he teases, kissing the corner of your mouth.

“Absolutely.”

Thank you for reading, please like and reblog if you enjoyed it!

[critical-thinking-is-mandatory]

Ok the respectfully loving LB thing made me think of something. I think we can agree that Luka not pushing Mari is super respectful and healthier than Adrien's "she'll love me one day" attitude, and I can't help but wonder, why did the writers make that decision? Like, let's say Luka's and Adrien's personalities were switched so that Luka is pushy while Adrien is respectful. The endgame ship would also be the healthier option. Why would the writers make the endgame problematic?

i mean, obvs i'm not a mind reader, but i think it's most likely because Adrien is designed to be 'perfect' and it just so happens that in the ideal vision of the patriarchy, Adrien is perfect.

Adrien is a Man's Man, he is a Hunter, the Pack Alpha, Alpha Male, Manly Man's Man. Adrien Takes What He Wants because He Is A Man 😤

ok ok i'm done now. anyway, i've touched on this before but i'll go into more detail today.

so, the patriarchy is a thing, toxic masculinity is highly valued in a lot of circles, and Adrien is essentially the creators' pet, who embodies a lot of the values of toxic masculinity. Adrien is straight, white, rich, and a cis guy. we are not allowed to think anything else about him, because anything else would mean Adrien isn't perfect.

Adrien:

has violent angry outbursts (that are always justified)

has jealous outbursts (which are always validated)

doesn't exhibit emotional vulnerability

is Determined (aka will not take no for an answer)

ignores his love interest's wishes (because He is Right)

always has the moral high ground (especially when he's wrong)

women/girls want him and everyone else wants to be him

these are ALL prime examples of the shit that is applauded and idealised under the patriarchy. these things tell us (in a patriarchy) that Adrien is a strong, confident, masculine man who can and will fight for his #woman 😤

a lot of ya fiction falls into this trap of an abusive/shitty LI (love interest) but aside from twit-light this is the most obvious example i've ever seen. ever.

it's this, this dumb ideal of the Perfect Man being a stone-faced warrior and hunter and sex god whose only emotion is #violence. Perfect Men don't cry, or treat other people like human beings, they don't talk about their feelings, or have real, deep friendships with their male friends. the only woman they respect is their mum etc. etc.

it is immensely clear that, because Asstruck has claimed Adrien is perfect time and time again, that the creators know exactly what they're doing and they like it.

so, Luka on the other hand is this:

passive/laid-back (instead of hunting his #woman down like a wounded animal)

paints his nails, dyes his long hair ('feminine' or 'gay' aka weak behaviour)

comforts Marinette when she's upset and expects nothing in return (only gay men wouldn't take advantage of an emotionally vulnerable girl😤😤 aka weakness)

Luka respects Marinette's boundaries and lets her take the lead (aka he doesn't really want her)

is comfortable in his masculinity (or lack thereof, idk)

so like, between Marinette's interests, we have the Ideal One who is the patriarchal ideal of a #Manly Man and therefore is the only correct option, and we have the Experimental Tryst who is Wrong and Bad and Weak. Adrien is the Perfect Guy and Luka is Bad For Her.

ok so we, a (relatively) objective audience know that Adrien is a Shitty Guy and adr!nette would be a Shitty Unhealthy relationship, but the creators don't care. they are perfectly capable of writing a great male LI...when they want to make Marinette look like an idiot for straying away from Adrien.

in THEIR minds Adrien is the perfect, ideal partner for Marinette. the creators don't give a rat's hairy asscrack about healthy relationships. that would mean they'd have to think long and hard about how they treat the women in their lives and realise, hey, they are the Bad Guys. they are Wrong. and people don't like being wrong.

anyway i hope this helps you understand/answers your question/s anon

[toss-a-coin-to-your-bard]

orchid, abelia, sage, aloe vera, please and thank you :)

Hi yes hello Poe! See when you asked me these questions, I had to ponder them and now you got a whole lot of words to read through hihi

ily loads

orchid ⇢ what’s a song you consider to be perfect?

Tracy Chapmans Fast Car is a masterpiece of combining storytelling and melody with the instruments. It's timeless in the emotions it evokes and conveys and one of my favorite objective perfect songs atm. Jolene and Bohemian Rhapsody are top tier also.

But personally a song also needs to punch me in the heart, free my emotions in a way they can rearrange themselves anew. AURORA has three songs that gut punch me in the tear-jerker way atm.

There's the Mahogany Session of Boy In The Grass that I cannot listen to often because the background of the song makes it so much more emotional.

The second is a live version of Through The Eyes Of A Child which is the most bittersweet thing. I will tear up every time.

The third one is a live version of Murder Song she sang at 19(?)yo and is hauntingly beautiful

My subjective answer today will be It Happened Quiet by AURORA

And probably those two tomorrow

abelia ⇢ do you have a particular piece of jewelry you always wear or can’t part with?

I have started to wear a plain silver ring on my pinky and a slim silver chain (that once was a necklace to hand trinkets on I reckon?) on my wrist but not always.

My late great grandmother (mother of my late grandmother) gifted me a necklace and matching cuff bracelet she probably got on one her trips to the US (visiting her firstborn daughter in Phoenix, AZ) and my mum thinks it's probably a Native American work because of the art on the necklace. As my great grandma usually gave me money this is the only jewelry I refuse to part with even tho I have never worn it.

sage ⇢ what ‘medium’ of art (poetry, music, fiction, paintings, statues etc.) is the most touching to you? why do you think that is?

Poetry and music play a big part in my life. Of all the music that I adore the most loved is always also poetry, just given a melodious form. Rilke is my absolut favorite poem writer (Hesse a close second). I will get emotional over his poems and only indulge in reading his poems sometimes.

When im emotionally unwell you will see it in my nonexistent music listening habits, when im really excited about something I cannot stop the weirdest songs from getting stuck in my head and when im especially happy I hum happily while doing other things. I played the alto saxophone for half of my childhood/teenage years and even tho it lays dormant atm this is a passion that gives my life zest and has shaped me.

Its a special treat for me to get to see paintings and statues in museums (my mum once gifted me with a trip to the van Gogh museum in Amsterdam for my birthday and it was such a well-thought-out gift! I loved it.) I always get inspired by and filled with the biggest emotions when I can see the world through other people's eyes and their creative lense.

But.

Books are my not-so-secret passion since I learned how to read (and even before). I've learned many a life lesson from books and later fics gave me the language and right pointers on how to think about my own queerness. In some ways, literature saved my life. I will forever be grateful. In ten years this answer could as well lean more toward music but rn? Books.

(tao is not forgotten. I love them. It's kinda scary how much of myself I can see in them. I will definitely come back them)

aloe vera ⇢ what’s something (mundane) you really want to experience in life?

Having someone who I can be my favorite self around/with - possibly even living with them?

Waking up to laughter and soft smiles.

Having a garden, a dog, friends who live nearby so I can make dinner and cakes for them whenever.

My sorrows being outweighed by the daily, small happy memories that make life so precious.

[svnflowervol666]

Pinky Promise (dad!Harry)

Word Count: 2.1k

Summary: Harry introduces a certain special someone to the newest addition of his family.

Author’s Note: Surprise! Here’s some boy dad!Harry on this fine week night. I feel like Harry is almost always written as as girl dad (guilty as charged tho), so I wanted to show the boys some love. I didn’t really call this one an ‘x reader,’ because this one’s mostly about Harry and his bub, but the missus is still there, don’t worry! I hope you enjoy and as always, feedback of any kind, likes and especially reblogs are super helpful to keep me motivated to post more. Take care and TPWK.

     The Styles household was always filled with noise. Whether it was contagious laughter echoing off of the walls in the kitchen, the pitter patter of pudgy feet bursting through the back door from the garden, or the low humming of the secondhand record player coming from the living room. The sounds were comforting, reassuring to those that lived there. While the ruckus caused by something like which Joni Mitchell song Harry should play on the guitar before bedtime or what color everyone’s nails should be painted each week might seem chaotic to some, it represented a kind of tranquility that at one point did not seem possible to grasp.

    But today, in the modest, ivy-covered cottage with a pastel-yellow door, it was quiet. The sun poured in from the two open windows of the living area, filling the room with a still brightness that only London could emote. Dust particles danced in the light, drifting along through their own invisible current. The beginnings of the city could be seen in the distance, visible in a foggy haze with promises of sweet treats and adventue-packed days. But no sound, as the newest member of the Styles family had commanded the attention and affection of everyone within its walls.

    “She’s so little,” the youngest spoke up. Although he was now technically the oldest. He outstretched his hand out to caress the petite foot that stuck out from beneath the periwinkle-colored muslin blanket.

    “I know,” Harry replied, watching the swaddled newborn’s toes curl in reaction to being tickled by her brother, “I remember when you were this tiny, too.”

    “I was?” he asked, scratching at his chocolate brown curls that never laid flat.

    Harry nodded in affirmation, recalling the early morning when his son had been born prematurely. He’d spent nearly ten days resting in an uncomfortable vinyl recliner beside his girlfriend’s, who was now his wife, hospital bed counting down the minutes until the nurse would give them the “ok” to go visit their bub in the NICU. Harry stared in awe at his newborn through the glass of the incubator, using the open portal on the side to reach in and stroke his cheek with the faintest of touches. He was covered in wires and tubes, surrounded by monitors and beeping machines, all tasked with keeping his underdeveloped organs afloat. It was the most pitiful thing he had ever seen, and Harry still has those nights where he’s plagued with memories from the hospital. While the day he became a father was most certainly the best day of his life, it was one of the most traumatic experiences he’s ever been through.

    “Mhmm. You were actually even smaller when you were born,” Harry prodded, playfully wiggling his eyebrows at him.

    “No I wasn’t! the toddler jabbed back, crinkling his nose up at his parents, his aquamarine colored eyes turning into tiny slits on either side.

    “Umm, yes you were,” Harry’s wife replied with a chuckle from where she sat beside the rest of her family on the couch, “We bought the tiniest size clothes we could find and they still didn’t fit your teeny little bum.”

    The boy sat confused, trying to comprehend how a person could be smaller than his sister, let alone be so tiny that clothes didn’t even fit them.

    “Well, I’m big now. Right?”

    “Much bigger,” Harry reassured him, “But now that you’re bigger, you have t’ take care of your sister. You have to teach her how to be kind and share your toys with her. Think yeh can do tha’?”

    “Yes! C-can she swim with me in the pool?” he stumbled over his words, overjoyed by the idea of someone always being around to play his sacred water games with him in his nana’s pool.

    “Not yet, bubba,” Harry laughed, tickled by his son’s enthusiasm, “We have t’ wait until she’s a little bit older. But I’m sure she’d love to swim with you at Nana’s when she knows how.”

    “Okayyy,” the boy replied, slightly defeated.

    “Do you want t’ hold her?” Harry asked, gesturing to the sleeping bundle in his lap, her puffy eyelids closed peacefully as tiny, sporadic grunts left her little belly.

    “Yeah, but I don’t know how,” he professed, his plush, pink toddler lips turning down into a frown.

    “’S alright, I’ll show you,” Harry then carefully shuffled from his position on the couch, turning so that he was facing his son.

    “So, first, you have to make sure you hold her head because she can’t keep it up on her own,” Harry started, reaching over to place the baby girl into his son’s arms.

    Unlike the last time, Harry’s hands didn’t shake. He wasn’t afraid like he was before, when his arms trembled as he took his newborn son into his arms for the first time, petrified that he was going to accidentally smother him or drop him and that the worst thing he could imagine would come true. No. This time, his hands were sturdy, protective over his new daughter as he was preparing to introduce her to his firstborn for the very first time.

     Harry’s wife looked on lovingly as his son took the baby from him excitingly, his left hand cupping her head gently. Her tired eyes were filled with love when he wrapped his arm protectively around her little tufts of peach fuzz in the best way that a five-year-old with mediocre hand-eye coordination could.

    “You also have t’ hold her bum so she doesn’t squirm out of your arms.”

    Harry took his son’s hand into his, guiding him to place his tiny forearm along the baby’s back with his palm resting on her diaper-clad bottom. When he was confident of his son’s grip on the infant, he pulled back. He made sure to hover over him with his brawny, tanned arms just ghosting over his son’s. Just in case.

    The boy was elated. His sister was warm and soft, and she looked like one of the stuffed animals that he slept with every night. He couldn’t believe that the person he talked to in his mother’s belly every night for nine months and gave kisses to each morning before nursery school was here and real and now she gets to live with him forever.

    “She’s so cute,” he spoke in gentle whisper this time, remembering what his mum had told him about being quiet around the baby so that she doesn’t wake up cranky.

    He was absolutely smitten over her. Everything about her was the cutest thing he had ever seen in his brief time on Earth: her button nose that sat perfectly above her lips, her miniature fingers wound tightly her fist as if she was ready to fight, her little tongue that barely poked through her mouth each time she yawned. He could stare at her forever if he could.

    Instinctively, he pulled her into his bony chest for a hug, squeezing a little too harder than he should have. The baby girl tensed in his grasp at the motion, the beginnings of a shrill whine escaping her pruney lips.

    “Whoa, bub. You have t’ be careful,” Harry intervened, loosening his son’s arms so that the baby rested peacefully in the boy’s lap again.

    “She’s fragile. You can’t squeeze her like that,” the boy’s mum reminded him.

    “Sorry, Baby,” said the boy as he reached down to press his tiny lips to her eyebrow.

    Her forehead wrinkled up at the contact, similar to one of auntie Gemma’s baby puppies, thought the boy to himself. He also thought that she kind of looked like one of the puppies too, but he kept that to himself.

    Harry and his wife watched their children interacted, how his son was brushing his thumb along her skull, how her face relaxed at the steady motion. They were already in sync with each other, already comforting each other just by their presence. They were both besotted with their daughter, but Harry thinks he might be just a bit more in love with her than his wife. Harry had gotten used to raising his son, while he taught him to be a kindhearted and gentle creature, there had always been a degree of roughness to which he interracted with him. His daughter, however, was made of glass, Harry had convinced himself. He vowed to do whatever it took to make sure she never shed a single tear because of him or anything else he had control over.

    Now, Harry had two babies. One boy and one girl, just like his family before this one. The similarities slightly terrified him. His son was soft and gentle and loving, just like Harry had been as a child. He was sensitive, always yearning to be held and touched in the way that Harry had when he was his age. His daughter, even though she was only a few days old, was already a stubborn little fighter like his sister. She cried her lungs out within her first few hours of being born, kicking and screaming until it looked like her face was turning blue. She hated the harsh lights that the doctors shone in her eyes and their cold hands that poked and prodded at her belly like she was a science experiment. It wasn’t until she was in the arms of her family that her wailing subsided.

    It was thoughts like these that felt surreal to Harry. He never saw himself as someone that could be in the position he is now. He’d always thought he’d be an eternal bachelor, someone who only ever stayed with someone for a certain period of time before everything inevitably blew up in his face and he’d be back at square one. He never thought that he’d be the type of person with a wife and a white picket fence and a slew of babies; he never thought that he could be the type of person who could be this happy.

    “Bubby, can I ask you to promise me something?” Harry asked as he scooped the boy into his lap, making sure the baby was secure so that the three of them laid in one pile on the couch.

     He pulled his wife closer as well, making sure they were shoulder to shoulder and he felt surrounded on all sides by the ones he loved the most.

    “What?” his son asked, peering up at his papa with huge eyes that resembled saucers, his long, dark eyelashes brushing his brow bones.

    “I want you to promise me,” Harry began, wrapping his arms tighter around his two babies, resting his chin in the crook of his son’s neck, “tha’ whatever happens t’ the two of you, no matter how many times you get into fights. No matter how mad you might make each other. That you’ll love her. No matter what. That you’ll always be her big brother.”

    Harry hadn’t realized, but his voice trailed off near the end. His voice was just above a whisper, so quiet that only his son could hear. He pressed his lips to side of his bub’s forehead, an attempt to soothe both his son and himself.

    “Can yeh do that f’ me?”

    The boy in Harry’s lap pondered his father’s words. His finger went absentmindedly to stroke his sister’s hand, astonished when her fingers unfurled from the tight fist they’d been bound in all day. He slipped his pinky into her palm just as her muscles relaxed so that she was now clutching tightly to his digit.

    He had no idea of the weight that Harry’s words carried. He had no idea of the thoughts of uncertainty that haunted Harry about never getting to this point in his life. He doesn’t understand the cruelty that exists outside the walls of his home besides the pesky little boy in his class that borrows his crayons and doesn’t give them back. He doesn’t know that other children don’t grow up in homes with parents that love each other like his do.

    He didn’t know any of these things, but he sensed that it meant a great deal to Harry, and he wanted to make sure that his father knew he could count on him for anything because he loved him with all of his heart and Harry proved that to him every single day.

    “Pinky promise, papa,” the boy responds, loosening his hand that was wrapped around his sister to offer it to Harry.

[two-sides-samecoin]

i think the most interesting part of steve’s dynamic with his parents, and why i love fanfics of it, is because we get so little of it. all we know is that steve’s dad cheats, his mum follows him anywhere, and steve hates his dad. so it really allows people to write their own stories, and decide how they want his parents to act. they just feel a lot more real, and more fun to read about.

and, the only part of canon stancy that i find interesting, is that nancy is so adamant that she won’t become her parents, that they become steve’s. with nancy emotionally (and physically) cheating with jonathan, and steve recognising that. like, in their first s2 scene, steve even mentions working with his dad and staying in hawkins so nancy won’t “forget his pretty face” which is literally what his mum does every time she follows his dad out of town. honestly it kind of makes me go crazy ahaha

so i imagine after s2 steve would have a lot more empathy for his mum. like obviously before he felt bad that his dad was cheating on her, and treating her badly. but after s2 he would really know what it was like to love someone that didn’t really care about you, and want to do anything to stay with them, even if it means putting up with your heart getting broken.

Honestly same I think the family dynamic is why it’s so interesting is cuz we never get that much info on it. And you’re right it does allow people to create their own version so it’s so interesting seeing everyone’s view points on it. Since this is so short I’m just gonna put response to second paragraph here lol. And yeah it’s very interesting to me on that point to. Cuz the whole thing just turns into Steve’s parents but with way more complications since they are traumatized in ways that Steve’s parents can’t understand with the whole ud thing. It’s just so fascinating on that front to cuz in a sense their relationship does become what they resent and all that stuff. And yeah you’re so right about that like of ‘forgetting his pretty face,’ I also think this just touches on his abandonment issues and why loosing his friends and Nancy is so hard for him. Especially when Steve most likely or definitely doesn’t want to end up in a relationship like his parents. And then he becomes his mom in a sense. Honestly stancy at some points is so fascinating to me but also they were meant to be doomed from the start soo that’s also why it’s fascinating to me too. Another thing is that both times their relationship really falls apart at parties where they were supposed to be having a good time. Like the implications and everything just make me so emotional lol. And that line makes me go crazy too so you aren’t the only one!

Steve would def have more empathy for his mom after everything cuz now he knows what it’s like (although I don’t think he knows that Nancy and Jonathan slept together but it is implied soo). And you’re right now he really does know the pain of all of that and why someone would want to stay with someone despite not loving them so it’s soo complicated and I love it for the angst lol.

[desertno3]

Violet – Chapter Five (6/7)

When Sean finally meets his daughter, you wonder why you ever left him in the first place. Sean Wallace x fem!reader Chapter Five: 2136 words

Prologue // Chapter One // Chapter Two  // Chapter Three // Chapter Four

A/N: Oh my god. It’s been so long since I updated. I offer you the longest chapter yet as a peace offering. Let me know what you think because this one was a lot of fun to write 🧡 Also I cried a lil but that’s just me getting emotional at literally anything fluffy, lol.

Taglist: @ysmmsy​ @prettyinpayne​ @the-a-word-2214​ @peakywitch​ @danceyreagan​ @ella1grace03 @whenthe-smokeisinyoureyes​ @lovemissyhoneybee​

“Seeeaaaannn!” Violet yells excitedly as she runs up the path towards his front door.

Walking at a more leisurely pace behind her, you watch as it swings open and she all but launches herself at the man standing behind it.

“Hi Sean!”

“Hello, love,” He greets her, picking her up.

She grins excitedly and shows him the box she held in her hands, “Me and mummy brought dessert!”

Sean looks over to you and smiles when he meets your gaze. Your heart had already been preemptively fluttering as you pulled up and now, as you return the expression, it was out of control.

“Thanks Vi,” Sean tells her as he sets her back down. “Why don’t you go ahead and put that on the counter, hm? Your mum and I will be right there.”

Violet nods and patters down the hallway, holding the box of desserts close to her chest. 

“Don’t blame me if some of those pastries aren't the best,” You murmur to Sean as you both watch her go. “She really wanted to choose them for you.”

“I’m sure they’re great,” He chuckles before turning to face you. “How are you?”

“I’m alright,” You tell him with a shrug. “Nothing new since we last spoke.”

You and Sean had been texting back and forth all week since the night he invited you over for dinner. At first it was just him asking what Violet’s favourite food was - to which you replied literally anything with pasta in it - but it gradually evolved to a casual back and forth where you’d tell him about your day and he’d tell you about his. 

“I’m glad I don’t have to cook tonight though,” You confess with a sly smile, making him laugh.

“Well, that was the whole point,” He says. “I wanted to treat you and Vi a little - I made your favourite as well, you know.”

You look at him in surprise, “Did you really?”

“Yeah, of course,” He says confidently, like it was an obvious course of action, and he steps aside and motions you into the house. “C’mon, before I burn everything that’s been cooking.”

You shake your head in disbelief, ignoring the fact that you quite literally wanted to melt, before following his lead and heading inside.

Just before you reach the kitchen, you see Violet’s head peeking out from around the corner, having been observing the pair of you as you chatted. You give her a knowing look and she lets out a giggle before Sean comes striding over to pick her up again, making her squeal in delight.

“Do you want to try the food, Vi?” He asks her and she nods eagerly.

You follow them into the kitchen and raise an eyebrow at the amount of things he had going on the stovetop.

“You sure it’s just the three of us, Sean?” You tease. “It looks like you’re cooking enough for a small village.”

Sean just flashes you a wry smile in response before setting Violet down on the kitchen counter.

“Alright,” He says, handing her a bowl with some pasta in it. “Let me know what you think.”

Violet makes a happy noise when she sees what’s in the bowl and before you could tell her to take it easy, she digs into it at an alarming speed - inevitably making a complete mess.

“You’d think I hadn’t fed you at all today,” You tut although you can’t help but be amused when she smiles approvingly at Sean, the food still in her mouth making her look like a little chipmunk.

“It tastes good, mummy!” She says when you come over to wipe the sauce from around her mouth.

“Oh, I don’t doubt it darling,” You tell her, thinking about all the dinner dates you and Sean used to have at home. “Sean's very good at cooking.”

You glance at Sean at the same time he turns from the stove to look at you and you just know the same thing is on his mind as well. There's a hint of a smirk on his face and you have to fight your blush, turning your attention back to Violet who was completely oblivious to the whole thing.

“Can I have more?”

You shake your head, “If you have any more, you’ll be full before dinner even starts.”

“No I won’t!”

“C’mon,” You say, ignoring her protest. “Let’s see what else Sean’s been cooking.”

 ~

"Is that what I think it is?" You ask dreamily as you come up behind Sean, wrapping your arms around his middle and peeking past his shoulder at the stovetop.

You’d had a long day but the delicious scent of your favourite food had perked you up considerably. It hit you the moment you entered the house and you wasted no time in immediately scurrying over to the kitchen to investigate. 

“It is,” Sean confirms, moving to comfortably place an arm around your shoulders.

You smile and look up at him curiously. “What’s the occasion?”

“Does there need to be one?”

“Well, no. But-”

“Maybe I just wanted to treat you, hm?” He says, his finger poking you in the side, making you yelp and jump away from him. “Maybe I just wanted to be a good boyfriend.”

You squirm when he reaches out to you, trying to avoid another jab, but he just pulls you back into his embrace. You smile and relax against his body, letting your arms rest on his shoulders.

“You’re always a good boyfriend,” You murmur as you look into his eyes but he immediately raises an eyebrow at the statement and you can’t help but laugh at his - quite valid - skepticism.

“Okay, you’re mostly a good boyfriend,” You concede, giving him a quick kiss. “Especially when you don’t come home all bloody.”

Your eyes fall on the healing bruise by his cheekbone but your attention is quickly diverted back to him when he moves to rest his forehead to yours.

“I love you, y/n.”

 "Y/n?"

Jolted out of your thoughts, your gaze snaps up to Sean standing by the kitchen sink, looking at you expectantly. 

"Hm?"

"You okay?"

"Yeah,” You tell him, feeling your face heat up in embarrassment as you try and shake yourself from the vivid memory of being wrapped up in his arms. “Yeah, sorry. Just thinking.”

“You don’t have to help clear up, you know.”

“No it’s fine,” You assure him. “Really. I want to help.”

Not to mention that helping meant you could stick around a little bit longer.

Sean nods and continues loading the dishwasher. From the living room, you can hear Violet giggling at whatever she was watching on the TV. 

“What’s on your mind?” Sean asks, sparing you another glance.

You blink at him dumbly, trying to come up with a decent excuse, but you come up blank.

The dinner had made your feelings for him stronger than ever. You’d observed Violet swing her legs happily as she ate, her joy at having Sean around for dinner palpable, and you’d observed the way Sean doted on her, listening to her every word as she told him about anything and everything. You knew then that there was no denying the fact that you wanted Sean to be a permanent part of yours and Violet’s life. No denying the fact that you wanted Sean, full stop.

“I was just thinking about the dinners we used to have,” You tell him honestly, throwing all caution to the wind. “The dinner dates, I mean.”

Sean’s back to busying himself with the plates but you can see the smile on his face from where you stand.

"I've been thinking about those too,” He confesses. “Feels like a lifetime ago.”

“You were a good boyfriend, you know,” You say, thinking back to the memory. Contrary to what you’d told him then, he had been a good boyfriend even when he got himself into trouble. “I- I should’ve trusted that you would always keep me safe. I’m sorry I didn’t.”

There’s a silence and your gaze drops to the countertop, embarrassed, but you can’t take it back now. You start occupying yourself with the containers still on the counter, too nervous to look up at him and see the expression on his face, but you have no choice when he abandons what he’s doing and crosses the kitchen to stand before you.

Your heart hammers violently in your chest as you look at him - partly afraid of what he’ll say and partly surprised at his close proximity.

“I don’t blame you, you know,” He says eventually, looking resigned. “I didn’t give you much reason to trust me, the way I’d go on taunting people I should’ve just left alone.”

You give him a sad smile and at this point he can’t help it, he reaches up and lightly caresses your cheek. You lean into his touch with a sigh, the action feeling all too familiar and all too foreign all at once.

"All I ever wanted was to make sure you were safe, y/n,” He breathes. “When you left… even I had to admit it was a smart thing to do on your part. I thought it meant you wouldn’t get caught up in the crossfire anymore.”

“I thought so too.”

“It terrified me when I got your call that night. I… thought the worst."

“You know,” You tell him quietly. “I half expected you wouldn’t answer once you knew it was me.”

“Why?”

“Thought you might’ve hated me.”

“I could never, y/n.”

Without even thinking about it, you launch forward and give him a hug, feeling so much emotion you think you might choke.

“Thank you Sean,” You manage to say with your cheek pressed against his chest. “For everything.”

He wraps his arms around you and, after a moment of deliberation, presses his lips to your forehead. “You don’t have to thank me.”

“Muuum!” You jump, not expecting the sound of your daughter’s voice to pierce the air. “Sean! Come watch this movie with me!”

The both of you look in the direction of the living room while she calls out to you both and you let out a watery laugh at her timing. Sean chuckles too and as it reverberates through you, you realise neither of you have moved to let go of each other.

“We’ll be right there, Vi!” He calls out to her.

“Okay!”

“We should probably head off,” You say softly, looking back at him. “It’s getting late.”

Sean hums in acknowledgement but you can tell his mind is elsewhere, his gaze soft as it meets yours.

"Stay till the end of her movie," He asks of you. “I don’t want you to go just yet.”

You’re slightly dazed in his hold but you manage to nod. You wouldn’t have needed much convincing to agree in the first place.

Sean gives you a small smile, “You and her have been the best things to ever happen to me. I hope you know that.”

"We could say the same thing about you,” You tell him. “You've changed Vi’s world Sean, I've never seen her more happy than when she's with you."

"And you?” Sean inquires, searching your expression for an answer. “Are you happy too?"

You nod again, your voice barely above a murmur. “More than, since you’ve come back into my life."

You only have a second to register the glint of joy in his eyes because before you know it, his lips are on yours, kissing you like his life depended on it. You don’t hesitate to kiss him back and his hands immediately go to your waist to pull you flush against him, earning an involuntary whimper of pleasure out of you. God, you'd forgotten how good it felt with Sean.

You feel lightheaded when you finally pull away and the grin you see on his face is worth everything.

“I’ve missed this,” He murmurs, arms squeezing around you slightly. “Missed being with you.”

“Yeah,” You say breathlessly, fingers lightly running through the hair at the nape of his neck. “Me too.”

Just as he moves to capture your lips in another long kiss, you’re interrupted by another impatient shout from Violet.

You pull back and sigh at the way it breaks the moment you were having but Sean just chuckles and kisses you again anyway, like he can’t get enough of you.

“C’mon,” He says eventually, giving you one last quick peck before taking your hand in his. “Best go see what our daughter's up to."

Feeling the giddiest you’ve felt in a while, you let him pull you in the direction of the living room - and if Violet notices that you and Sean are sat closer together on the couch than normal during the movie, she doesn’t say anything.

[greenygreenland]

Home: Lloyd Garmadon x Reader

-I LOVE ASKS. plz keep them coming, they make my day -i’m sorry i write slowly, I’m a perfectionist. -it’s also better to have quality over quantity, am I right? -takes place after Tournament of Elements but before Possessed 

[REQUESTED BY ANON] Summary/ask: Maybe a reader with a "dark" power (like, not evil, but considered dark), and they were outcasted by it, everyone thinks they are bad and shit but they are just shy and insecure?

WARNING: MENTIONS OF VERBAL ABUSE (VERY BRIEF), BLOOD (BRIEF), INJURIES (ALSO BREIF), ETC.

Isolation. That was all you had ever known for the better half of your life. Most details were things you preferred to keep hidden away, locked up for good in that deep mind of yours. 

You never had a whole family, but that was fine by you. Why should that matter when you had a father who loved and cared for you? Growing up, he always told you this: ‘Ninjago is so much more than our tiny home, my dear. Why should we worry about what we don’t have when there’s so much to discover?’

Even now, you held onto his words with your life. Even now when you forgot what his face looked like. Even now when you couldn’t remember his voice, or how warm his hugs were. Everything eventually faded, but not the emotions he made you feel. 

Love, warmth, generosity. 

Those were the only pieces of baggage you carried. Although heavy, they kept you from the evil strings of bitterness. You kept your chin up, high in the air so you could look to the sky. It was the limit after all, the portion of which you had to reach and reach until you couldn’t anymore. The only problem was getting there. 

The alley was rather quiet today, a far cry from the usual bustling citizens looking for a shortcut or a food stand. You loved days like this, where no one would care to stare at you and whisper your name like it were a ball in a game. With your hood up, no one could see your face, and no one could cast you aside like the loner you were.

“What are you doing here?” 

You wish you hadn’t heard his voice. As subtle as he tried to be, his snarky tone caused passing stragglers to glance at you. A sigh escapes your lips. What was he doing here? Didn’t he have anything better to do than follow you around and nag? You were cast aside as it was by your mother, forgotten by your so-called friends, and left behind by your ascended father. 

He told you to stay away from that speedy idiot, the one your mother took away from you. The one who took after her with the same eyes, nose, and mouth. They had the same grin, too, the one where it looked like they thought they were better than you.

“If it isn’t Griffin Turner,” you grumble out. “What a pleasure.” 

His stare isn’t friendly. You know under those red sunglasses that he’s glaring at you. He’s probably thinking about how much of a monster you are too, just like every other Elemental Master you ever faced in your life. 

Griffin runs a hand over his oh-so-perfectly cut hairdo. “Oh don’t be a prick.” he spits out. “Have some respect for your older brother.” That grin doesn’t slide off his face no matter how dark your expression gets. He’s always been oblivious. First to your powers, then to your father’s death, and finally, to how terribly he’s been treating you. 

It doesn’t matter that he’s your older brother. Bullying does not discriminate, and neither do you, blood ties or not. “Just leave me alone, I’m not in the mood Griffin.” He raises a brow. “Not in the mood? Since when did someone like you have feelings? You’re cold-hearted, just like your dad.” 

You frown. “’Your dad’?” you echo. “What, so we’re only related when you choose?” Griffin shrugs absentmindedly. You know he’s trying to provoke you, get a reaction, but you just can’t help it. He was patronising you and your father. 

“I’m just glad I lived with mum instead of dad.” he adds. “At least I don’t have to run after the garbage truck with a shopping list.” He snickers to himself and you go rigid. “Take that back.” 

“What? Your last braincell?” 

“Well--you--you’re a...” You pause. “At least I had someone who loved me and actually payed attention to me! Sure, I inherited dad’s elemental powers, but he taught me something you’ll never get: kindness. You think I don’t know? Look again you pathetic waste of space!” That wasn’t supposed to hit hard and you both knew it. Griffin could have said a million other insults that burned like the sun itself, yet somehow, with your puny words, you hit a nerve. A nerve that wasn’t supposed to be punched in the first place. 

Griffin’s grin finally slides off his face. He stuffs a hand in his pocket and uses the other to adjust his bright sunglasses. He doesn’t say anything, but you can practically feel the air thicken between the empty distance. Griffin didn’t have lo self-esteem, but sometimes, his mum called him a waste of space. When you walked by the luxurious apartment, on days the kitchen window was left wide open, you heard what she’d say to Griffin--what she did to him.

Suddenly, you’re taken back to the age of six, when your parents were together and Griffin was more than your only brother. You were best friends. You did everything together. But then your father passed down his elemental powers to you, and it was then that everything changed.

Your father taught you that your powers were a gift passed down all the way from the days the First Spinjitzu Master lived among the people of Ninjago. It was a gift used to protect him when he was in need, a gift that possessed great power and majesty. Your elemental abilities had a double edge to it. Although beautiful, it possessed a great danger. 

One slip-up was all it took. One mistake you never meant.

That day, you were practicing control and discipline over your powers. You never meant for it to happen, and if you could go back, you would a million times over. That day, all the control, all the mastery you had over your abilities disappeared in an instant. You swore it was only for a second, but it could have lasted a millennia. 

Your element was more than a power. It was a living part of you with its own consciousness you couldn’t quite understand. When you slept, you saw him, the intangible person you never cared to learn the name of. He always sat in a plain of pure darkness, where you couldn’t touch or see him clearly. 

You knew he never meant to frighten you, but that day, you only saw a monster. Perhaps it was you, perhaps it was him. You never knew because the moment you lost control, your world went black. From then on, your parents split. Your mother took Griffin away from you, and as time grew, so did the distance between you. 

You wish you could change things starting from that day till now. Those forsaken words shouldn’t have left either of your mouths, but the damage had already been done. It cut too deep that not even magic could mend the wounds. 

“Griffin I--”

“So that’s how it is.” A bitter laugh escapes his lips and you flinch like you’ve been struck. Griffin walks toward you at a painfully slow pace. The alleyway isn’t part of the city anymore. It’s a battlefield of honour, of pride, of two siblings who have been torn apart. He doesn’t meet your eyes as he pulls something out of his pocket. “Here.”

The wad of cash presented to you between his fingers looks more like an insult than a gift. Was he trying to rub in your face how rich his mum was compared to your dead dad? Surely this wasn’t an olive branch to apologise for being a jerk for the past eleven years. 

He stares at your incredulous expression and yanks your wrist forward, slapping the bills into your hand and forcing it into your sweater pocket. “Look, I’m not patronising you, okay? Just...go to your friend or whatever and don’t spend that on drugs. Your financial situation sucks, I get it.” 

His tone is rather aggressive, but you know that speech pattern. The one where it’s soft and bashful because he’s embarrassed to be talking out loud like that--like an older brother. You run your fingers over the cash in your pocket and stare at Griffin. He looks the other way and begins marching past you, making sure to bump shoulders. 

“Griffin, wait.” You make a grab for his arm but he’s already gone at the speed of light. “Thanks,” you whisper to yourself. “I guess.” You aren’t sure how long you stay in the dead alleyway, frozen in your own thoughts. But as soon as you’re ready to make your way to the park, the alleyway fades, the honking of the cars disappear, and you’re completely alone in a surge of darkness. 

“That has got to be a least three hundred.” 

You heave out a long sigh as the darkness parts. Robes drag across the floor like liquid gold, sparkling and shimmering like the sun. “Such a coward, your brother. He shouldn’t have run away like that.” The man is a living contradiction, much like you. Although he lived in a world of darkness, that never stopped light from blooming in his cold heart. He cared for you as much as he cared for your father and those before him. 

The man adjusted the collar of his red robes, yanking the thick fabric into all the right shapes and places. His pale face was like a sheet of paper, but the calm smile made up for that and tinted his cheeks rose. “Here,” he said, waving his arm. The wad of cash drifted out of your pocket, mixing with the mist until it was all but a speck of light. It drifted into one of the man’s pockets, which he patted. 

“Honestly,” he says, “could you be more inconspicuous? Someone down the street looked like he wanted to mug you.” You frown and the man huffs. “When you need the money, come back. I’ll keep it here.” 

“Thank you.”

“Raijin.” he says. “Call me Raijin.” 

The mist began swirling like a whirlpool, twisting and turning until your hood whacked you in the face. The alleyway materialised as soon as your feet hit the pavement. The honking of cars sliced through the air, bombarding your ears in the cityscape sounds. “First Spinjitzu Master...” you grumble, rubbing your ears. 

“LOOK OUT!”

You whip around in bewilderment and flatten yourself against the brick wall. A group of four or five fruit-coloured boys fly from the fire escape above. If you hadn’t reacted quickly enough, then you’d be as much of a pancake as the blue one (he was under all of them). 

“I’m--gonna--die! Get off me Cole!”

“I...I can’t when Zane’s heavier than a rock!”

“Kai, move your stupid leg!”

“Everyone stop arguing! Lloyd is unconscious!”

The last bit sent the group in a rush of shouting, scrambling, and shoving. You wanted to do something to help, but these boys were the ninja, students of Sensei Wu and partly, Garmadon. In the world of elemental masters, they were known as the OG, the ones who defeated the Great Devourer, Garmadon, and so many more. 

The last time you saw them (together, that was) had to be half a year ago on Chen’s forsaken island. You almost died, but Lloyd saved you. He and his friends risked their lives to help everyone off that island. If thy hadn’t been there...

You glance at Lloyd. He lay on the pavement, faintly breathing and coughing as Zane wrapped gauze around his wrist. The blood smeared on his face sent your heart tumbling. Just what had they done this time? 

“Hey!” you exclaim. The boys remove their hoods and turn to you. Kai knits his brows together. “Aren’t you--?”

“Do you want help or no?” you gruffly retort. Zane’s bright eyes don’t leave your cold expression as you look between all the ninja. Cole and Jay look uneasy about the offer, but to even the blind, it was clear they had no choice.

“Yes.” Zane says. “We would be grateful for your assistance, (Y/n).” You nod and motion for them to follow you out of the alleyway. Kai carefully lifts Lloyd off the ground and onto his back. “Thank you for your generous offer.” 

“Don’t thank me until he’s well.” you quietly reply. As scary as it was inviting people to your tiny apartment, this was the ninja. You owed them this much for being Ninjago’s protectors for so long. “We’re taking the back route because I don’t want to attract unwanted attention. It’s clear you had a run-in, let’s not repeat that.” 

Halfway down one of the quieter streets, you heard Jay whisper this, “I heard she’s evil. Are you sure we should trust her?” 

You want to be offended, but getting upset would only make everything worse. You re-called your conversation with Griffin, and that look on his face when you called him a waste of space. 

He deserved the insult, you told yourself. Why should you feel guilty? 

You spot a beat-up door worn with age. The blue paint peeled off the wood, scattering along the doorstep in little piles. As much as you wanted to renovate, you couldn’t afford it. You had to save up for college and rent. 

You dig your hand inside your trousers’ pocket and produce a key. The scratches rub against your calloused hands as you stick it in the keyhole and yank open the door. “Bring him in.” No one says a word as you watch the ninja file into your home one by one. Like good guests, they remove their shoes and leave them in a little corner of the hall. 

You close the door behind you and lock it, tossing the key in its respective place. “Set him down on the couch. I’ll get a med kit.” When you come back with the med kit and freshly washed hands, you weave past Cole and sit on the floor by Kai’s side. “He’ll be alright.” you calmly state. 

Kai sharply meets your gaze. “His wrist is broken.” 

“Yes, but bones can be mended. He will be alright.” You ignore the stares, they were background noise, and place your hands around the wound. “Raijin,” you whisper, “I need assistance.” 

The last time you had to fix a broken wrist had to be about three months ago. It was a rather draining action, but for Lloyd, you would do anything. He needed you. 

Suddenly, your body goes completely rigid. Your hands are cold and you shut your eyes, allowing the icy sensations to wash over your being. A breeze passes over your face and settles around your hands. You imagine Lloyd’s bones mending back into place, connecting painlessly like a puzzle piece would. 

“What’s she doing?” you hear Jay whisper.

“I think she’s concentrating.” Cole answers. “Kind of...creepy if I do say so myself.”

You feel the bones clicking together, and once you are sure Lloyd is alright, you open your eyes and heave out a long sigh. “He...he will be...” You can’t finish that sentence. The world spins with dots and mingles in a flurry of colours and blurs. Someone was saying something, but you can’t make out what’s wrong with you.

The world fades to black. 

“Here again?” 

You frown uncomfortably as Raijin struts out from behind a curtain of shadow. It’s hard to disregard him, so you avert your gaze to the side. “I don’t choose when I come here, you know that.” He chuckles and it’s a low rumble. “You like him.” 

“Who?”

“Lloyd. It’s not everyday you let people into your home. When you saw Griffin walk by with a broken leg, you didn’t heal him.” You sigh loudly. “Well, that’s different Raijin.”

“Is it?” There’s a suggestive tone to his voice you don’t like, as if he’s looking inside your head and hearing all your thoughts bouncing around. Raijin probably did hear some of it. He was, after all, a part of you, both soul and body. Silence falls over your shoulders and it sits there like an old pillow: uncomfortable, flat, and irritating. 

The silence stretched and you felt small in the presence of Raijin. He had a way with his height and energy that somehow made him appear all the more regal. You can’t meet his eyes as you blurt out the dumbest question you could muster. “Will Lloyd be okay?” 

The answer is obvious, but Raijin doesn’t comment on it. He folds his hands together and softly nods, as if he’s afraid of making you shrink further into yourself. “Thanks to your efforts his wrist is healed. Why don’t you see for yourself?” You perk up. “What--?”

The darkness curls under your shoes, stretching like gum and absorbing you in nothing. It’s cold, it’s dark, and it’s filling you with adrenaline. 

You jolt upright. 

“I see you and Raijin had quite the conversation.” a crinkly voice states. You rub your pounding head, accepting the steaming cup of tea from Sensei Wu’s hands. It’s been a while since you’ve seen the monastery, much less your old room. Wait, Wu? Your old room from when you were eleven? “Sensei?” He smiles kindly, giving your shoulder a good pat. “If you were wondering, Lloyd has been healed. Actually, he wishes to see you.” 

“Me?” you inquire. “Really?” Wu chuckles to himself good-naturedly. He turns his back to you and slides open the door, revealing a red-faced Lloyd. He goes stiff like a board. “Uh--I--sorry--just passing--” 

Wu gently guides Lloyd into the room, paying no mind to the stuttering mess his nephew had become. It’s an odd sight to see Lloyd, the Green Ninja, tripping over his own feet, adjusting his sleeves, and picking at loose threads instead of meeting your eyes like he did that day. 

Lloyd had been like a gust of wind. He came to your rescue strong and fast, scooping your bloodied body in his arms with a gentle hold. When the time came and you all had to leave the island, you were still too weak to use your elemental powers, so Lloyd let you ride with him. Those crazy few weeks on Chen’s island had been traumatising. 

The fact that you weren’t trusted by anyone due to your powers made it worse, until you met Lloyd and his father. 

Wu quietly exists the room, gently closing the door behind. You silently thank him for his consideration. “It’s been a while.” you quietly say. Lloyd shuffles toward you with a bright smile, cheeks still tinted red. “I used to see you around Ninjago City a lot, but after a while, it was...I don’t know, like you disappeared.” 

It’s your turn to avert your gaze. The truth was, you weren’t sure Lloyd still wanted to be your friend after the Tournament. You saw him less and less with each passing day, only ever giving a small wave here and there whenever he went to Borg Tower. After half a month, Griffin caught you talking with Lloyd. He bullied you about it and told you Lloyd was only acting like your friend. 

Stupidly enough, you believed him. Your insecurities about being judged wore down your courage like a bath bomb in water. You couldn’t speak with Lloyd any longer, or give a simple wave that made him smile like the sun. One day, you decided to avoid him completely by taking a different route home. You never saw him again. Not until today.

“I-I’m sorry Lloyd.” you murmur. He blinks, knitting his brows together in confusion. “What do you mean you’re sorry? You didn’t do anything--”

“Yes I d-did.” You curse your wobbly voice. “I started a-avoiding you because I was scared we weren’t...you know...anymore. And a lot happened...and then...” Your eyes are burning with tears you know are filled with ages of stress and worry and anger. 

You wanted to blame Griffin for making fun of you that day. You wanted to blame yourself for being so stupid. You wanted to blame Raijin for not talking to you when you needed him most. But you couldn’t. How would any of them know this would happen? That you’d eventually cut Lloyd off altogether until you were in isolation in that tiny apartment by yourself? How could you have known?

The side of your bed dips and gentle arms bring you in tight. It’s warm and reminds you of meadows with flowers, butterflies, and better days. When was the last time you actually hugged someone? Much less allowed them this close in your proximity? You didn’t have friends at school, so you always settled for books as your comfort. Books could not hug like people.

“I should be thanking you.” Lloyd said. “You healed me even though it made you pass out.” You sniffle, hesitantly wrapping your arms around Lloyd’s middle. As soon as you allow your shoulders to relax, warmth spreads through your chest. You recognised the sensation as a mix of comfort and relief. 

To know someone else was here with you who cared and would sit with you as you cried your eyes out was new--but it felt good. When your dad died, you promised to never shed another tear. You couldn’t say you were good a keeping promises. 

“If you want to tell me more, it’s okay.” Lloyd softly said. You rested your head on his shoulder, savouring the way he smelled like life itself. If you were to describe it, you’d call it grassy, flowery, and fruity all rolled into one. 

“Well... You remember my brother Griffin?” you slowly begin. “He isn’t who you think he is. He always tells me things like I’m a monster because of my elemental powers, or that...” 

You aren’t sure how long you talk for, but Lloyd’s there, listening to every word and drinking it in like gold. Sometimes he pitched in, other times he sat still in a silent horror you couldn’t fully comprehend. It never occurred to you just how broken your family relationships had been when it was your norm. 

When your tears finally dried and you could breathe again, Lloyd took your hands and motioned for you to follow him out of the room. “Would you like to stay for dinner?” You smiled at him, enjoying the company his hand provided. 

Wu rounded around the corner and said, “Would you like to stay forever?”

There was no question in that. You still had your old room and memories of when you used to call the monastery home. Why wouldn’t you want to make new ones? “Yes.” you reply. “I’d love that--if it’s fine with you.” Lloyd glanced at Wu, who simply nodded in confirmation. 

Lloyd turns to you with a bright grin that you can only shyly match in response. 

TIP JAR

Please don’t forget to reblog!

[helnjk]

Don’t Be A Stranger

Fred Weasley x fem!reader

Word count: 1.6k

Summary: breakups are tough, but they’re necessary. 

Warnings: angst. brief mentions of intoxication.

A/N: i’m so sorry this is how i cope okay. i might have cried writing this

flashbacks are in italics

–

It was silent. 

Having grown up being friends with and loving Fred Weasley, who was always so loud, so full of life and love, the silence unnerved her. It seemed as if every little thing, every small sound spooked her. Strangers’ conversations on the street that flowed in through the open windows, the ticking of the clock on the wall, the excited squeals of the children in the park nearby. 

She needed something to distract her, so she stood shakily and went to the kitchen to put the kettle on. The monotony of the task soothed her in a way, gave her something else to think about. 

Still, in the silence, her thoughts rang through, loud and clear. 

She was tired of it. Of sitting across from each other at the table, having dinner in silence as if they were alone. Of sleeping next to each other, limbs stiff and not touching, bodies working hard to keep the space between them. Of being unable to hold a conversation like they used to, instead relying on stilted exchanges to get through the day. 

They were both too scared to admit to themselves and to each other that it wasn’t working anymore. Spending their days skirting around each other, pretending that everything was alright. 

It wasn’t. And, Y/N realized as she dunked her tea bag into the boiling water, it hadn’t been alright in a long time. 

With a soft sigh, her eyes glanced at the clock on the wall. She had about half an hour until the floo in the living room roared to life and spat out Fred. The deep breaths she took, trying to steady herself, weren’t much of a help to her as she realized what she needed to do. 

Y/N loved Fred Weasley, of course she loved him, how could she not? But sometimes love wasn’t enough to keep a relationship alive. 

This was one of those times. 

They had grown up together, learned to love together, lived their lives together. Y/N couldn’t think of any memory she had that didn’t involve Fred in some way. He was always there, steady and strong, an anchor that braved the vicious tides and came out of the storm intact. But as time passed by, his presence had started to feel more like a weight on her chest, and the more they grew apart, the heavier the pressure seemed to be. 

“Oh Freddie,” she mumbled under her breath, despite being all alone in the big flat, “What’s happened to us?” 

As she paced the living room, urging herself not to look at the time every five seconds, she remembered all the good that they shared together.

The warm nights spent by the fireplace at the Gryffindor common room. How she would curl up into Fred’s chest, content with staying there forever, wrapped in all things good, soft, and lovely. He would press kisses on the top of her head, whispering sweet nothings into her ear, dreaming of what their future would be like together. 

“Mm, that feels good,” she groaned, her head leaning back against the arm of the couch as Fred massaged at her feet absentmindedly. 

Her boyfriend, who was in a conversation with his twin and Lee Jordan, turned his head at her statement, “Careful now, L/N, don’t want you sleeping on me. You told me you were going to get some coursework done. 

“Who are you and what have you done with my boyfriend?” 

He merely raised an eyebrow. 

“The Fred Weasley I know would never tell me to do my schoolwork over falling asleep.” 

The loud laugh that came out of him made Y/N’s heart flutter. In retaliation, he stopped massaging her and instead went to press his fingers into her side. The conversation about Wheezes left his mind completely as she struggled to leave his grip, her laugh echoing through the somewhat empty common room. 

George and Lee rolled their eyes at the couple, but said nothing. 

She remembered summers at the Burrow, the golden rays of the sun beating down on them as they soared through the air. The smell of freshly baked treats, waiting for them as they playfully teased each other on the way inside. 

“Oh Y/N dear, welcome back!” gushed Molly, holding her arms out for a hug. 

Y/N smiled wide, happily accepting the hug from the Weasley matriarch. She could easily spot the freshly baked apple pie, cooling on the window sill, her eyes scanning the familiar and welcoming space that was Fred’s home. 

“Alright mum, quit hogging my girlfriend,” Fred teased and rolled his eyes playfully. 

He was met with a light slap on the arm and a tut from his mother, “Please Fred, you spend months and months at school with this lovely girl. Give everyone else a chance with her!” 

“Yeah, Fred, who said I’m here to hang out with you? I’m definitely here to spend some time with Molly.” 

At that, Mrs. Weasley let out a laugh and hooked her arm with Y/N’s. The pair of them making a beeline towards the kitchen where they would spend hours chatting, having some tea, and ultimately preparing dinner. 

She remembered drunken nights full of laughter and giddiness. Of nearly falling over and feeling strong arms wrapping around her. The floating feeling that came with one too many drinks and stumbling through hallways, trying to keep quiet while getting to bed. 

A giggle rang through the otherwise silent hallway as Y/N tried to make it back up the many flights of stairs at the Burrow. 

“Woah there, sweetheart,” a voice sounded from somewhere beside her before she felt arms snake around her waist. The person’s grip was warm and strong, and Y/N’s cheeks began to ache with how big her grin was. 

“Freddie!” she whisper-yelled, turning in his arms to face him, “I’m trying to get back to Ginny’s room!”

“I can see that, love,” he chuckled. 

The younger ones of the Weasley family had had just a little too much firewhiskey that night, celebrating the fact that all of them were officially Hogwarts graduates. Well, most of them, as the twins hadn’t technically graduated. 

“You’re so pretty Freddie,” she gasped, cupping his face into her hands, “Have I ever told you that? You’re so, so pretty.” 

Fred had a hard time not waking up the whole household with his laughs, “I haven’t heard that before, no. But thank you.” 

She swayed slightly on her feet, succumbing to the way the liquor pulsed through her veins. 

“Alright, let’s get you to sleep. Your head’s going to be pounding in the morning, and I’ll put some hangover potion by your bed.”

“You take such good care of me baby,” she mumbled, pressing a soft kiss on his neck as they slightly stumbled their way to the room. 

Y/N couldn’t even bear to think about what she would do if–when–he moved on. Her throat closed up at the thought of having to hear that he was seeing someone else. Taking in a shuddering breath, she closed her eyes and tried to remind herself that it wasn’t working out, they weren’t working out, and that was okay. 

Too lost in her thoughts, she nearly jumped at the sound of Fred flooing in. Her eyes darted to the clock and it read a quarter past five, right on time. 

“Hey,” he said softly, brushing off some of the soot that came with his mode of transportation. 

“Hey Freddie,” she smiled sadly at him.

The use of his nickname gave him pause, and as their eyes met, a sadness washed over the two of them. This was it. 

“I think we need to have a talk,” she said, swallowing dryly. 

“Right.” He nodded. 

For the first time in what seemed like ages, Y/N and Fred sat side by side on the couch, legs brushing against each other, hands clutched tightly together. They sat in silence for what seemed like hours, clinging onto what they knew was going to be their last few moments together. 

Seven years together was coming to an end. 

By the time Y/N garnered enough courage to look Fred in the eyes, she had tears pooling in her own. She could see the softness in his eyes that was reserved only for when he looked at her, but she could also see the hitches in his breath as he tried to reign in his emotions. 

“Freddie,” she whispered, her palm going up to gently cup his face. The gesture caused him to choke out a sob, a lone tear falling from his wet eyes. He placed his hand on top of hers, shutting his eyes for a brief moment before meeting hers. “Freddie you know we haven’t been okay for a long time.” 

“Yeah,” he nodded, “Yeah I know, sweetheart.” 

Her heart lurched at the pet name, not having heard it for what seemed like an eternity. 

“I’m sorry that it has to end like this,” he whispered, “That I didn’t work harder or do something to fix it.” 

“It’s no one’s fault, Fred, and you know it. It’s just… time.” 

Her words were confident and sure, despite the fact that she could feel her heart crumbling as she spoke them. 

“I love you.” 

His words were whispered, as if he was sharing a secret with her. In that moment, he seemed so small, and Y/N almost took back everything she had said and thought about that afternoon. With a slight shake of her head, she tried to gain some of her composure. 

“I love you too.” 

“Hey,” he smiled sadly at her, squeezing her hand for the last time before letting go, “Don’t be a stranger, alright?” 

–

add yourself to my taglist!

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Weasley twins taglist: @whizboingies @pineapplesandpinas @papapapadumb @Mrs-g-weasley @a-castle-of--glass @hey-there-angels @leovaldez37 @pinkypurplemagic @werewolfslut @surprizeshawtyy @oldschoolkiddo @gcdric​ @turtletaylor98​

[into-september]

Adrien Agreste is a boy whose life will inevitably go to the absolute shits, because Adrien is a good boy whose only mission is to beat a supervillain and that supervillain is his only living parent. The question, then, is this: how dark is a TV series meant for kids willing to get?

Yeah, “Cat Blanc” went there, but it went straight from supervillain dad reveal to blowing up the moon. At some point, the story WILL have to show us Adrien coping with the reality of his father’s actions, and I very much doubt that there’s going to be a canon storyline about him being effectively orphaned at the age of middle school, the trial against his father, the unclear circumstance of his mother’s death and how THAT will play into things, the suspicions bound to be cast on Adrien himself, the inevitable lawsuits about his custody because he does not appear to have any living relatives in Paris and it the closest we’ve got to a “family friend” is Kagami’s equally sinister mum. 

So what are the alternatives?

1. Gabriel redeemed There’s a reason there are people legitimately thinking that gabenath is a somehow touching and romantic pairing, and that’s because Gabriel is shown to posess sincere affection and concern for Nathalie, which is HILARIOUSLY more than can be said for what he displays about his son. This is not to say that he treats her any better, of course, but the obvious lessons lies open for all to see: Gabe just needs to realise that he stands to lose something important and make the right choice when he’s faced with the reality that he can’t have both his son and his wife. 

Of course, the NYC special also showed us that Mr. “willing to start a nuclear war to reanimate my wife’s corpse” was also willing to command his bedridden employee to further endanger her health for his goals, so it might just be that the writers are in fact aware that the man needs something far more than “seeing the error of his ways” before forgiving and forgetting is a viable option. 

I think this is the most likely outcome, and it’s also one that I hate. Even though Gabriel clearly cares about his son, he also very clearly cares about himself A LOT MORE. The way he has repeatedly targeted his son’s friends and utilised his son’s friendships for a quick akumatisation just speaks for itself - special prize goes to “Cat Blanc” because he would know how badly it would hurt Adrien to be dumped like that, but you know - gotta get them miraculouses! The argument is frequently made that Gabriel isn’t entirely navigating reality, as it is - that his goal is to rewind time, and that nothing bad he does now will count. But you know, hurting your son without a second’s hesitation will never be the look of a person who is sincerely kind. 

So sure, they’ll probably find some way to explain that he’s a big softie inside just like Plagg said, nevermind the nuclear war and the continued emotional abuse of his son or any of that. This one is particularly likely in combiation with the next point:

2. Gabriel defects There being a different Hawkmoth in the future makes it overwhelmingly likely that Gabriel will at some point be overthrown. Since he’s up to his BS because of one very specific goal rather than world domination or whatever, it wouldn’t be terribly unlikely that him losing the control of the miraculous and being victim to its new wielder would mean that he’d hunt down Ladybug and assist her in the new battle.

Adrien will have to have SOME frank conversation with his father, who will at least make an effort of being a better person if he’s on this track.

3. Gabriel reset As Master Fu’s current predicament makes evident, wiping a person’s memory is within the ability of the miraculous magic. By Adrien’s (admittedly not entirely trustworthy) assertion, Gabriel wasn’t garbage personified before he lost his wife. Granted, Gabriel also couldn’t be arsed to give his son a decent birthday present even while the wifey was still around, but as a fellow terrible gift-buyer, I’m somewhat inclined to cut him some slack in that particular regard.

The easiest way to deal with a once good man having sunk as deep as Gabriel has is of course to give him a factory reset. Something goes bad with the magic, some kind of sacrifice is demanded from him, The Order of the Guardians dish out their special kind of justice that doesn’t outright involve killing someone to keep them from revealing the secret of the miraculouses. Whatever the cause: Bad guy Gabriel is gone, and replaced with his once (presumably) kind and caring self. 

Adrien will have to live with the knowledge of the evil of which his father was capable, but at least he has his dad back

4. Gabriel dies Falls into the sun/sacrifices himself for Adrien somehow/trades places with Emilie/whatever. He’s gone and he ain’t coming back and Adrien’s main occupation will be grief but hopefully also closure because he won’t, in fact, have to navigate life around the personified horse pile that was his sperm donor. This route will also have a 95% chance of Emilie returning, and at least we don’t know that she was bad. 

[thr-333]

Drastic Measures- Part 5

@daminette-december2019-2020

~Sweater~

Shoves romance to the side and shoves friendship in your face!!!

Ao3

First< Previous > Next

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“Marinette,” Adrien whines as she opens the curtain the second they get back, “Sleep,”

“Just a minute, I want to design Damian something,” Marinette takes up residence at the desk, throwing open her sketchbook, “I will be friends with him!”

“Wasn't he kind of a jerk to you?” Adrien flops onto the bed, Plagg rig after him, "I think we should go back to that point, maybe sleep on it,"

“You were a jerk too~” Marinette sing-songs finishing up a rough sketch of a sweater.

“I was trying to get the gum off your seat!” Adrien slams his hands down.

“Sure you were~”

“Mariiiiiii,” Adrien collapses back into the bed covers, muffling his whining.

“Come on you,” Marinette collects her sketchbook, “Come get material with me,”

“No, it’s time to sleep,”

“It’s midday,”

“Your point?”

"Ok, Plagg 2.0 should I get you some camembert while I'm out too?"

"I'm up!" Adrien sits bolt upright, "Never call me that again,"

Marinette ends up dragging Adrien out of the mansion he pouts as Alfred delivers them into the city she thanks him profusely.

“We were just in the city why didn’t you pick up fabric then?” Adrien walks by her side down the street.

“Because I’m stuck between 2 concepts and I need to see the fabric before going forward,” Marinette bounces along looking through the windows there are quite a few craft shops in the area which suits her just fine.

“Please don’t run off,” Adrien gently holds her sleeve, “Marinette this city…”

“It’s filled with a dark energy,” Marinette agrees, even in this nicer area had something ominous hanging over it, “It’s like it’s seeped into the city’s very bones,”

“And the Akuma aren’t helping things,” A child across the street starts crying and they both instinctively lookout.

“On the plus side at least hawkmoth doesn't send Akuma after every little thing,” Marinette forces herself to relax, moving on as the kids parents comfort them.

“On the downside, he sends them after emotions that are a lot worse,” Adrien follows along into a store as Marinette filters through the shelves.

“Maybe but we can handle this,” Marinette absent-mindedly raises her fist, meeting Adreins, “Do you think I should make something for everyone, you know as a thank you?”

“I haven't gotten them anything,” Adrien takes the armful of fabric Marinette passes him as she brings out her sketchbook to select old designs.

“I’ll handle the making,” Marinette ticks off a vest she thinks with be perfect for Bruce, “And you handle the finances,”

“I stole my father's credit card,” Adrien says with a grin, “He’ll probably find out where I am soon anyway so might as well start using it,”

“In that case,” Marinette pulls out a roll of incredibly expensive fabric, “We also need new phones,”

“And we should go out for lunch,”

“Get our hair done?” Marinette adds, looking at her half hacked off hair “I still need to fix mine from this,”

“I was thinking our room could use a chair?”

“And the bookshelf is looking a bit empty,”

“A nice expensive rug would really liven up the room,”

“Would it be completely inappropriate to get a motorcycle?”

“Yes,” Adrien agrees, “Let's do it,”

They stop to get new phones first, having destroyed their old ones when they ran away. Adrien finds the most expensive restaurant in town, but it's on the far end so they stop to get a motorcycle first.

“I didn’t know you could ride,” Adrien gestures for the waiter in their private room, “Yes can I please have the duck?”

“My Nona taught me,” Marinette sips at the most expensive drink she can legally buy, “I thought you hated duck?”

“Oh I do,” Adrien grins, which drops when his phone starts ringing, “How did he even get this number?”

Marinette looks over his shoulder to see Gabriel trying to call. Adrien purposefully hangs up rolling his eyes.

“We should go do our hair next,” Adrien leans over the table with a manic grin, ”I was thinking of dying it hot pink,”

“Love the concept,” Marinette cringes at the very thought, “But the execution is flawed, you need to dye it a color you actually like not one just to spite your father otherwise he's still just controlling your life, just in a different way,”

“You're right,” Adrien sighs leaning back examining his blonde locks, “What do you think?”

“A nice pastel or cherry blossom pink would look amazing,” Adrien perks up at the suggestion he can still keep the pink, “Actually I might do that too- oh wait! Will that affect our transformation?”

“Not unless you really want to deep down,” Tikki explains, her and Plagg gorging themselves on expensive cheese and treats.

“Well deep down I really don't want to give away our identities like this,”

“It’s a plan then,” Adrien smiles, “Now do you want to order anything else?”

“Thanks but I’m full,”

“What's that got to do with anything?”

 ---

 “Looks great Nette,” Adrien gives her a side hug, the hairdresser shooing him away while he does the final touch-ups.

“Are you talking to me or yourself?” Marinette smiles at the new and improved shock of pink hair.

“Well obviously I look fabulous, but you look great too,” Marinette rolls her eyes at him looking back in the mirror. Instead of evening out her hair, they had made it look like her little episode was actually intentional giving it nice layers and even doing an undercut on the other side. Unlike Adrien, she didn't go all pink, instead the tips being white ombre up to pink and then her natural hair color.

“Thanks, you have to send a picture of your hair to Nino he's more invested in your teenage rebellion than you are, he’s probably also hurt you left him out of the running away part,”

“He has suggested, more than once, running away together,”

“Why what's wrong with Nino's family?”

“Nothing at all,” Adrien quickly covers, “I think he just really wanted me to run away, his mum offered to pack us lunches,”

“Well, maybe we could have used the turtle,” Marinette sighs, “But I could do that to Nino, you already had to leave Kagami behind, have you given her a call yet?”

“Oh um, about that-" Adrien points at her tapping his chin thoughtfully, "Never mention it again,”

“Adrien,” Marinette scowls, “Call your girlfriend,”

“She’ll kill me,” Adrien hides partly behind a seat looking meek, “Also you don't get to lecture me, you haven't called your parents,”

“That's different,” Marinette groans sinking into the seat, only to get told off for moving, “They’ll want me to come home, how am I supposed to explain that I can’t,”

“They’re your parents,” Adrien stresses, “I’m sure they’ll be happy enough to know your ok,”

“Maybe,” Marinette hums, the cloth being removed from her shoulders letting her get up, “I just feel so bad for putting them through this,”

“Maybe one day they’ll understand,” Adrien walks with her to the front to pay.

“Maybe,” Marinette looks down at the bill, “Wow this is a lot more expensive than the usual dye job,”

Made sense because they were in the higher income distinct of the city.

“Why Marinette,” Adrien grins swiping the card, “That's the point,”

Ten minutes later they were laughing as calls kept pouring in one after the other. They are only interrupted when they get the distinct feeling of an Akuma.

“Duty calls,” Adrien sighs putting his phone on silent.

“Seems so, at least we can call out skills multiple times," Marinette walks casually into an alley with him, “What are you up to?”

“About three,” Adrien shrugs transforming, “It takes about double the time for the transformation to drop now,”

“Same, wish I could say that gives us the edge but really it only keeps us from falling off the cliff,” Marinette also transforms, her new costume bringing a smile to her face.

“How eloquent my lady,” Marinette playfully pushes him, Chat catches himself catapulting over the building, she quickly follows behind.

The Akuma is standard, Marinette guesses the akumatized item is the wrist watch. The problem comes with their recurring thorn in her side.

“Ladybug-”

“Get out of the city,” She cuts Batman off, “Yeah, yeah let us handle this first,”

Marinette throws her yoyo out just in time to deflect an attack headed at Chat.

“Do you need any help?” Robin asks, Marinette smiles, partly at the aghast face Batman makes.

“Do you think you could tag-team it with me?” She asks formulating a plan, with the extra help she might not need the lucky charm, “Make your attacks big and draw his attention, grab the wristwatch if you can,”

“On it,” Robin gives her a nod jumping into the fray, Ladybug doesn't give batman a chance to object running after.

Robin does a good job they work in perfect sync falling back when the other moves to make an attack. When the Akuma focuses on them too much Chat swoops in and gets their attention giving them the chance to swipe at the wristwatch. It goes on she sees Robin get thrown back after another failed swipe at the wristwatch. Ladybug takes the chance to move forward grabbing for the wrist, she isn't watching out for the other arm, the impact hitting and sending her flying back.

“I got you,” Her momentum is stopped by a hand bracing at her back, saving her from crashing into the adjacent building.

“Thanks, Robin,” He helps steady her as she finds her footing again, “I’ll move in you follow me up,”

“No need,” He smirks brandishing the watch.

“You did it,” Ladybug beams, taking the watch and smashing it to the ground, “Great job!”

“Ah, thanks,” Ladybug doesn't pay attention to how Robin brushes, focusing on purifying the Akuma and fixing the damage.

“We made a pretty good team,” Ladybug turns to Robin when everything is settled, “Pound it,”

Robin meets her fist with some hesitance, which disappears when she smiles at him again.

“Ladybug!” Batman yells heading their way.

“Ops sorry,” Ladybug cringes, “Sorry! Cant stop gotta go, bye bye!”

They run from the scene faster than Batman can hope to catch them. They end up back at her newly brought bike stacked with fabric and protected by a bit of luck. Marinette races home to make everyone's gifts, knowing just who she wanted to start with.

 ---

 “There you are!” Marinette exclaims, having spent the past half hour searching the manor for him.

“What do you want?” Damian snaps as if he wasn't just playing with the cat on the floor half a second ago.

“Nothing, I made something for you~” He continues to scowl but Marinette doesn't let it discourage her, “Here, I didn’t know your size so I made a baggier style, do you like it?”

Damian takes the sweater holding it up to where she put it on him looking down a little shocked. Marinette almost wants to laugh at the expressions trying to shift back from awe to disinterest, it’s cute. She smiles wondering what his face would look like if she made a matching one for the cat, and maybe Titus too.

“.... It’s well made,” Damian eventually allows, folding it over his arm, Marinette notices how his fingers linger on the soft fabric.

“Good to know,” She smiles, bidding him goodbye before the moment can be ruined. She bounces down the hall humming to herself.

“Someone's happy,” Tikki flies out of her bag.

“He liked it, why wouldn't I be happy?”

“Someones really happy,”

“Stop it Tikki,” Marinette giggles, making the kwami laugh in turn.

“Just like adrien~” Tikki sing songs floating down the hall ahead of her.

“Well then, keep Kagami far away from this one,”

“Don’t turn into a stuttering mess and we have a deal,” Tikki agrees.

“Please Tikki I’m not thirteen anymore,” Marinette brushes her off, ready to go make the others gifts, if she spent the whole time humming to herself Tikki wasn't going to explain why to Adrien.

---------

Taglist? nope don’t have one, horrible at keeping track of them sorry~

[wedreamedlove]

Xu Mo vs. Mo Yi [Character Study]

I can never get over the aesthetic of these two pictures placed side by side LOL. But, anyway, the point of this post is to nip any undue comparisons in the bud and claims of copying organize my thoughts and compare these two characters to highlight their similarities, differences, and further explore each character through these contrasts.

Q) If you like Xu Mo, would you like Mo Yi?

Honestly, I think this depends on what you like most about Xu Mo. I already knew beforehand that I gravitate towards characters who think 5 steps ahead, are predominantly logical, and scholars/gentlemen, so it’s not surprising I bias both Xu Mo and Mo Yi.

However, as I got to know Mo Yi further (Themis is around 6 months old now), I find that he’s distinctively different from Xu Mo on three crucial points that’ll determine whether people from either camp will like the other character.

1) Stance on Others

In a post for Xu Mo, “Into Your World”, I argued that Xu Mo is an alienated genius who had troubles getting along with others, until he mastered the social game as an adult. However, you can still see glimpses of this as he tries to understand MC’s world and shares his own.

To be fair, Mo Yi’s past is still under wraps but I feel confident in saying that, while he was probably highly intelligent compared to his peers [SR Sculpted Heart], his isolation doesn’t seem to come from his innate nature but rather his social position (there’s heavy implications that he’s like some sort of noble or something) [SR Snowy Pine Fairytale].

IMO, these backgrounds really shaped the way these two men interact with the world.

Xu Mo has a detached and indifferent view towards other people. They simply exist and don’t bring anything positive or negative to him. His ambition to ensure the survival of humanity reflects this too because it’s pure utilitarianism; everyone (apart from MC) can be sacrificed equally for the greater good. If anything, he probably finds other people to be interesting subjects to study, no matter what kind of person they are. IIRC the only time he expressed dislike to people, or a group of people, was when he told Hades he enjoyed killing thieves LOL.

Meanwhile, Mo Yi has an elitist streak to the point where he and his MC actually clashed opinions and debated each other [SR Warm Fingertips]. It’s incredibly ironic because he’s a psychiatrist who treats his patients without judgment, but at the same time he looks down on so many things and people (PUAs, people who betray love, hypocrites who only seek power and fame) [Ch2; Personal Story Ch1-3; SSR Moonlit Ball].

One of the things I noticed early on is that Xu Mo draws from the Eastern scholar archetype, “Xu Mo Character Study”, while Mo Yi actually draws more from the Western gentleman archetype.

So, just to summarize this section, Xu Mo is detached from the world naturally and likes to observe people and try to blend in. Mo Yi deliberately draws a line between him and others and, at times, has the casual cruelty of someone born as nobility (arrogance is carved into his bones, even if he tends to keep it low-key because he generally has a “gentle and polite” attitude).

2) Stance on Love

Xu Mo didn’t understand love, or really even emotions. Love is grown between him and his MC (there’s multiple analogies throughout the game about how their love is like a seed). I think [Ch25] pretty much sums it up for Xu Mo, where he goes through that emotional rollercoaster and muses about how, at the end of human evolution, emotions should be discarded. He also admits that MC taught him the “fear” of a normal person, because now he has someone he cannot give up no matter what, which goes against his previous utilitarian beliefs.

Compared to this, Mo Yi fell in love at first sight. Yes, you read that right. The “scientist and logical” archetype fell in love at first sight LOL. Not only does he acknowledge it right off the bat, but he fully embraces it too and believes that real love makes people better versions of themselves [Personal Story]. Mo Yi is a through and through psychiatrist in that he never underestimates how primal emotions (and love) can be.

Heck, not only is this central to his personal story, but we also have hints that one of Mo Yi’s parents fell in love at first sight with the other person (and he inherited their predisposition for that). Unfortunately, their love had a tragic end and Mo Yi seems to have a huge grudge against his father for whatever happened to his mother (again, Mihoyo is keeping this a mystery LOL), but Mo Yi explicitly confirms that even if his love leads to a tragic end he will still walk down this road and attempt to change it [SR Cool Summer].

IMO one other difference between them re: love is this exchange that lives rent free in my head which I saw in a Xu Mo/Reader/Mo Yi fanfiction LOL. Bear with me here.

Mo Yi: Wearing a mask for a long time will tire you.

Xu Mo: It’s enough just to wear one in front of the necessary person.

Xu Mo and his MC make great efforts to understand each other’s worlds, but this understanding comes from the doors he chooses to open to her. He reveals himself as much as possible, but I think he’s an inherently private person (and there’s all that Ares stuff) so there are times where he hides things so that he doesn’t worry his MC. I think this is enough to count as a “mask”. Sometimes he pretends he’s okay when he’s not.

On the other hand, while I think Mo Yi shares the sentiment in not wanting his MC to worry unduly, he tries to reveal himself as much as possible. There’s an amazingly relatable conflict in him here where he wants her to know every side of him, but he’s also terrified of how she’ll react if he shows her his ugliest sides and imperfect sides (he has some sort of phobia or fear about imperfection, but Mihoyo has been keeping mum on the exact details of this so far) [Personal Story; SR Sculpted Heart].

It’s pretty ironic that Mo Yi wants to be perfect, but he realizes that the more perfect he is the more of a sense of distance there’ll be between him and his MC because of the subconscious pressure someone “perfect” brings LOL [SSR Border of Light and Darkness].

3) Stance on Growth

If you haven’t realized that one of Xu Mo’s greatest themes is the phrase “Take your time in growing”, then what have you been reading? Jkjk, but seriously this gets repeated in multiple places, although my brain always goes back to [Blossom Date] for this.

Even if he and his MC start off with fundamental differences (she believes all people have inherent worth and can’t be involuntarily sacrificed), he wants to personally watch the journey of her maturation. He also subtly guides and teaches her. Unfortunately, due to circumstances of the main story, he doesn’t get his wish and she grows up a lot out of his eyes, but their relationship still revolves around him wanting her to have as much time as possible to grow.

He’s, for a lack of better word, extremely gentle about this (setting aside as much of the Ares and story parts as we can, because LovePro’s story is tragedy on tragedy LOL). I think [Autumn Blaze Date] shows a good analogy for this, because he holds the bicycle steady for MC until she can get going on her own, and he also catches her the first time.

Meanwhile, Mo Yi... ha ha ha. I just came out of chapter 3 for his [Personal Story] and let’s just say his philosophy is tough love. It’s ironic because, in many of his other dates, he wrestles with an internal conflict to protect his MC but also to let her experience all sorts of things to both test and temper her.

This is going to touch on the previous topic about love for a moment, but a part of Mo Yi’s love at first sight experience is also “testing” the other person through all sorts of situations and, after seeing all their different sides, he can determine whether his love at first sight is one that’ll last for the rest of his life or if it’s just a fleeting moment of beauty and emotion.

He also extremely respects his MC’s sense of justice and pursuit of the truth in the world, no matter what she encounters, and I wouldn’t be surprised if this is what drew him to her in the first place. But MC’s occupation and beliefs will make her confront a lot of dark and dangerous things and so, whenever possible, Mo Yi lets her confront these in “controlled” situations to train her. If I had to make an analogy, IMO, he’d let his MC ride the bicycle and pick her up only after she falls, or when she’s like 0.1cm away from the ground LOL.

Mo Yi is (perhaps rightfully) called out on this by another character, who believes Mo Yi is too arrogant in believing everything is under his control and he can prevent MC from getting hurt whenever he lets her get into dangerous situations, and I’m interested to see if Mihoyo will let him experience failures with his philosophy so he can grow more, like the things Xu Mo went through re: his personal beliefs [Ch24].

Overall

I don’t know how well I explained myself, especially for people who don’t know anything about Mo Yi, and each section goes back and forth between the two characters LOL so here’s another section that attempts to describe their overall atmosphere.

If, like I said in my Headcanon Notes, Xu Mo makes me immediately think of all the words for soft, gentle, light, still, water, etc etc., then the words I constantly think about for Mo Yi is messily human. He’s like a bundle of contradictions, but coherent because it’s being intentionally done.

Mo Yi doesn’t discriminate against his patients, yet he can be elitist and looks down on others. He wants to let MC have dangerous experiences, but also wants to protect her. He wants to be perfect, but he also wants to reveal himself entirely to his MC because that’s real love.

In contrast, Xu Mo has a very clean and orderly personality LOL. You can draw clear cause and effect lines from his personality to his actions.

So, anyway, these are two interesting characters who start off with similar archetypes as scientific logical men of scholar/gentleman dispositions, but yet they’re also on opposite ends for a lot of things such as their approach to emotions and the world.

Oh wait, lastly, because I don’t have a good place to put this—but I think it’s funny—is that both characters are pretty possessive and greedy, but while Xu Mo does things in a sneaky, cunning and fox-like way Mo Yi gets ridiculously open about his jealousy and it’s hilariously cute but also almost childish? I often forget Mo Yi is older than Xu Mo by a year, because Xu Mo honestly feels a bit more mature than him LOL. If we count them actually aging by when their game came out though, then Mo Yi is 28 and Xu Mo is 29 now.