#also: no one sees her the same way I do...*yet* >:3

[ohmybueckers]

big ole freak - paige bueckers x reader

Summary: you're Paige's sneaky link and have her absolutely wrapped around your finger

Themes & Warnings: kinda sub Paige, driving while intoxicated (this is NOT an endorsement please do NOT do this), car sex, light choking kink, strap-on sex, oral sex, slight degradation, maybe one line of breeding kink, filth, like actual filth (with like a little bit of fluff at the end)

Author's Note: inspired by big ole freak by my mother megan thee stallion y'all i've had this idea brewing for a month so glad it's finally out in the world. special shoutout to my uconn hot girl twin @sierrale8ne and all the other hotties out there. In the wise words of meg... "your honor, i'm a freak bitch." happy reading <3

“He hit my phone with a horse

So I know that mean come over and ride it”

Wednesday nights were hit or miss at UConn - either you loaded all of your courses on Monday and Wednesday and had the night to chill, or you were prepping for a horrendous end to your week. You were in the former category, deciding to attend a party hosted by a friend of a friend you hardly knew - labelled a “wine Wednesday” party to anyone who asked why the fuck anyone would throw on a weeknight that wasn’t Thursday. 

You maybe made it through one glass of cheap rose before your night evolved how most nights ended up in the not-so-bustling town of Storrs, Connecticut: sitting out by the fire pit of the beaten down rental house with your friends in a circle, passing a joint around and talking shit (about professors, exes, parents… no one was off limits in the rotation) under the glow of some poorly strung lights.

Though you hadn’t touched another glass since your first inhale, knowing that you were not risking getting crossfaded tonight, it didn’t help much. You always seemed to forget that weed and parties did not mix well for you. Every sound felt heightened yet muffled at the same time, from the bass of the music to the conversation your friends were having around you. Your skin burned, heat flooding down your back in a way that almost made you squirm.

You needed an out, and soon.

Your savior came in the form of two buzzes in quick succession from your phone on your lap. Though you typically aimed at staying present when surrounded by others, you ruled this as a worthy exception. You lifted it, immediately shifting it away from your friends’ view as you read the texts from the all too familiar contact.

Paige: wyd rn?

Paige: wanna see you tonight pretty girl

“Nobody know, I fuck with him on the low”

If you told the version of yourself two months ago that you would end up fucking Paige Bueckers, she would have laughed in your face. It was no secret to anyone in your friend group, many of whom had come in close contact with UConn athletes, that she had an extensive history, none of them sticking around for longer than a couple of nights. You refused to be yet another victim to community dick (in this case, community strap). Maybe you would be a little less put off by the idea of getting with someone with a reputation like Paige if she wasn’t so cocky about it, like she got off on the idea that girls were obsessed with her. 

And then the two of you met on a night out at Ted’s, where she insisted on buying your drink (you told your friends afterwards that you let her for economical reasons). You attempted to stick with your friends that night, tired of your past filled with messy hookups that never led anywhere, but of course they all decided to mingle with the basketball team. Meaning Paige had the rest of the night to throw looks your way, practically eye fucking you. You hated to admit it, but you understood why girls were into Paige beyond aesthetic reasons: she was incredibly witty, quick to poke gentle fun at her friends while also making jokes about herself. Though it was clear in the few times she brought it up she loved what she did, it didn’t feel like the entire conversation revolved around her being a basketball star. And you couldn’t deny the way her gaze made you feel, like you were the only person there. And you hated it.

When you allowed Paige to put her number in your phone, you would also insist that it was due to bragging rights and had no intention of contacting her again. And when you texted her that night with just your name, you almost convinced yourself it was just the polite thing to do.

The two of you texted frequently throughout the week, with some time between messages due to her busy practice schedule and your insistence on not seeming like an overly obsessed groupie. You didn’t need to fuel her ego, no matter how much her attempts at flirting caused an ache between your thighs and how many times you’ve resorted to nights alone in your room, a chorus of moans filling the space as images of blue eyes and toned arms overwhelm you. Sure, you wanted to fuck her. But one thing you knew: if it was happening, it was happening under your terms.

It finally did around a week later, after a great afternoon showing for the Huskies in Gampel Pavilion. You stood in the student section, watching her light up the court in ways very few people could. The crowd was electric with every assist she made to Azzi, every time she made a clean three point shot, and with every effort she made to hype up the crowd. She truly was in her element. you would be lying if you said it didn’t tempt you.

Still buzzed from your tailgate beforehand, you texted her to say congratulations, to which she responded with a trademark Paige Bueckers flirty comment. It was certainly not the first time she had attempted this with you, so you weren’t sure why this time was any different. Maybe it was the liquid courage, but before you could think twice, you replied. 

“want me to show you how winners get treated?”

That’s how you ended the night tangled in Paige’s sheets and long, strong limbs. Basking in your post orgasm glow knowing that throughout the entire exchange you were in control, even when you were receiving. For the first time in a long, long time, a hookup felt good. 

You and Paige continued texting, this time more frequently. You were fully expecting Paige to be the type to hit it and quit it, as she had done many times before, but having a taste of you just seemed to make her want you more. And yet you never told your friends about any of it. Not because you were ashamed or anything, but because you knew it wouldn’t go anywhere. It almost never did with athletes, even ones that kiss your forehead and text you good morning every day. Though you were fully expecting it to end at some point, you really didn’t want to deal with your friends making it a huge deal. Even if there was a little part of you, a voice in your head you did everything to silence, that told you maybe you didn’t want her to go.

“We never show up together but I text him when I'm ready to go”

A half assed excuse left your lips as you walked away from the couch circle and closer to the trees, far enough away so nobody would hear when you pressed an all too familiar contact and made the call. The phone hardly needed to ring one time before her end of the line was overwhelmed by a cacophony of loud voices. Unless your ears were deceiving you, you swore you could hear KK scream “liar!” at someone

“Hey pretty gir- aye! Be quiet one moment!” Her attempt at being quiet quickly escalated to a yell, presumably at one of her teammates, before returning to your conversation with an apologetic tone, “Sorry, I’m at Aubrey’s.”

Why the UConn girls were seemingly partying on a Wednesday night was beyond your comprehension, but it was honestly the last thing on your mind in that moment. “‘Wanna see you tonight’, huh? Tryin to ditch your teammates?”

“They’re all too invested in Mario Party to care. Besides,” She paused, her voice getting quieter (and unless you were hearing things wrong, more vulnerable), “It’s worth it for you.”

You knew what you wanted, and boy you were going to get it. With a sickly sweet grin you asked, “Pick me up in ten?”

“I had a couple of shots at the bar

I'm finna play with that dick in the car"

You knew the second you shut the door to Paige’s car and kissed her that she had been drinking that night, the presence of liquor on her lips. You would be so ready to scold her for driving under the influence, tell her she should not play with her life like that, if you weren’t also just appreciative for any out you could get. Besides, as long as she was telling the truth, she was only a couple shots deep. The weed in your system had dulled down at this point, and instead of feeling overwhelmed from the noise around you, you were overwhelmed by the urge to have Paige the way you wanted to. especially with how she looked now, glasses on and hair thrown into a messy ponytail, silver chain accessorizing her sweat set. God, you didn’t even know if you could make it to her bed.

“This new?” She asks about two minutes into the twelve minute drive, gesturing to your top. It was an old one, found in the bottom of one of your bins of clothes while you were searching for a going out top that would allow you to put off doing laundry for another day. It worked well enough - a simple crop top with a flattering neckline. “Looks really good.”

“Nah, kept it from freshman year,” You replied, head braced by your arm against the side of the car staring at the girl next to you. Paige had a grip on her steering wheel, eyes focused on the practically empty roads leading to her apartment. A part of you was very thankful she was being cautious given the circumstances. But another part of you, a more sinister voice, wanted to try something.

Your manicured hands traced up your torso, your own touch nearly making you gasp. Damn, you really were that desperate. Your nails played with the hem of your shirt, gently pulling it up towards your breasts as the air conditioning hit more and more of your skin. “This is new though.”

Paige hit a red light, making a confused sound before her eyes met yours. They didn’t stay there long before trailing down, past your neck and to the bra that currently had your tits pushed to the sky, one hand reaching around to cup one as you licked your lips. Your top could hardly be considered one anymore, pooled at your collarbone as you continued touching yourself. You maintained your gaze, looking at the blonde like she was prey as her tongue met her cheek inside her mouth, a loud swallow going down her throat.

When she finally spoke, it was a breathless chuckle that revealed just what kind of effect you had on her as she shook her head. “You’re something else.”

The green light flashed into the car, prompting her to return her gaze back to the road and press on the gas. Google Maps said you were eight minutes away, but judging by the way your finger was tracing around your bra covered nipple, you weren’t sure if you could wait that long. And if the way Paige’s eyes were bugging out of her head at the road attempting to not look at you were any indication, you knew she felt the same. “Paige?”

“Mhmm?” She asked through gritted teeth, hanging on to her last thread of self control.

“Pull over.”

————

“That’s it, just like that… fuck.”

You nodded in Paige’s pussy, nails grazing her thighs. The set up could be more ideal: All six feet of her were crammed in the backseat, sweats pooled at her ankles as you sat almost diagonal in order to have a more comfortable position. Neither of you really seemed to care all that much, too intoxicated off of each other and your respective substances. Besides, judging by the way Paige massaged your neck and whined, you wouldn’t be here long.

You only needed two more minutes eating Paige out like she was your last meal before her grip tightened at the back of your neck, cumming with a cry of your name. You ate her through it, slurping her up like ice cream before slowly rising, placing a kiss to her lips so she could taste herself. She hummed with contentment into the kiss, cupping your jaw tenderly. You separated, your smirk cocky as her hand traced back down your neck, feeling the soft material of your bra for herself. “So fucking pretty,” she whispered to herself, eyes trained on how the color of the garment made your skin look radiant. Her hands switched directions, gently tracing up before reaching your neck and applying pressure with hungry eyes.

“We’re going home. Need to see you cum on my dick now.”

“I'ma make him wait for the pussy

Hit it 'til he big ole skeet”

The rest of the car ride was uneventful, Paige keeping a grip on your thigh as music propelled you guys into her parking lot. When you reached her apartment, you were ready for the inevitable fight for dominance between the two of you. Instead, Paige merely hung her keys on her hook and moved to the kitchen. “Want any water?”

You almost laugh as you follow her in, as if she was pranking you. “What are you, all talk and no game?” You joke, still taking the offer. Despite drinking Paige up just moments prior, you were very aware of just how dry your mouth was.

Paige smirked, taking a sip of her own water before grazing your torso with her hands. “Just tryna be chivalrous, ma.” 

You took a big gulp of water, allowing yourself to sink into the feeling of Paige’s touch before setting the glass down. “Don’t need all that,” You murmur, the pads of your fingers playing with the hem of Paige’s hoodie. You look up, maneuvering yourself so your lips were as close to her ear as possible before murmuring. “Just need you.” 

“Oh yeah?” She teases, already beginning to back you towards her bedroom, her tall frame overwhelming yours. Now this is what you came here for: the feeling of her tongue slipping in your mouth as your lips collided, the feeling of her properly undressing you as soon as her door shut behind you, and the gravel in her voice as she commands you to “get on the bed”.

“You have no fucking idea how bad i’ve wanted this,” Paige growled, crawling above you and connecting your lips once more before peppering them down to your neck. You couldn’t help but sigh, deciding that you would put up with a million lackluster parties if they all ended like this.“These perfect tits.” She moved to toss your bra on her floor before licking around your nipple, sucking on your breast and surely leaving a mark - she always found a way to, much to your chagrin. You allowed yourself to take pleasure in the feeling for a moment, resting up before your next move. Because while you moments like these with Paige, there was no way in hell you were letting her think the dynamic switched.

With a swift move that even left yourself dumbfounded at your abilities , you hooked a leg around her and flipped the basketball player over, catching yourself with both hands on the mattress. Paige’s jaw dropped, equally shocked and impressed. “Woah.”

“I thought you’d figure out by now that I’m in charge here,” You quipped, gaining enough composure quickly to maintain the persona you wanted. You were going to fuck Paige just as much as she was fucking you. You quickly made the executive decision that Paige was wearing far too many clothes, gesturing her to raise her arms before moving to help her remove her hoodie leaving her in her sweats and a sports bra - very typical Paige attire. You nipped, kissed, and sucked above her chest in the areas not covered by the sports bra, careful to avoid her neck or any other areas that would be visible in a jersey. At one point, you took the chain she wore in your mouth, feeling the cold metal against your lips. Paige groaned, attempting to tug your mouth back on to hers by lifting you from your waist. You tsk, “Be patient.”

“You’re making patience really hard, sweetheart.” She states through gritted teeth, one hand moving to your hair and tugging to make a point. She was desperate tonight, just the way you liked her. 

Deciding to give her a little taste of you, you sat up so only your ass made contact with her, sitting plush against her pelvis. Need to see you cum on my dick now, her voice repeated in your head. with a mischievous glint. Slowly, you began grinding your hips, your ass hitting against her. “This what you want?”

She threw her head back, realizing what you were mimicking. “Please.”

“Beg.”

You would think you said something far more outrageous the way she looked up at you, eyebrows raised. “You crazy? nah!”

Typical Paige, not one to give up without a fight. You knew all too well how this would end though.“Suit yourself.” You shrugged, continuing your actions from before, this time trailing a hand down your short skirt and lightly touching yourself through your panties.

“Fuck baby,” She swore she could feel how wet you were as you continued rolling your hips, giving her a preview of everything she could have if she just put her ego aside. “You’re killing me right now.”

“I think I know what would fix that,” you purred.

“Oh fuck,” her voice was almost strangled, any ounce of dignity she had quickly leaving her body and being replaced by the urge to make you feel good. Her eyes appeared as though they were welling up as she pleaded with you. “Please let me fuck you. Would do anything to make you feel good.”

A smile spread across your face, knowing you finally had her exactly where you wanted her. You paused your teasing, swinging your leg back aroundand reaching a standing position. Her eyes followed you, her gaze equally confused and frustrated, before she recognized the box you were reaching for in her drawer. 

“That wasn’t so hard, was it?” You asked, harness and dildo in hand as you sauntered back over to the bed.

“Ain't nobody freak like me

Give ya what you need like me

Ain't nobody got on they tip, tip toes and rode to the tip like me”

You were putting on a whole ass show for her. Your feet were positioned on each side of of her, providing stability as you bounced on her silicon dick like your life depended on it. Your tits bounced with each impact your bodies made. The room was quiet (save for the sound of both of your moans and the dull buzz of the vibrator against Paige within the strap), but it was like you were moving to a melody, alternating between fast moments of riding her and slower moments where you simply moved your hips, allowing yourself to bask in the pleasure.

Paige laid back against the pillows, practically mesmerized at the sight of you as you ran a hand through your hair, throwing your head back in the process. “Holy shit.”

“Any other girls fucking you like this, baby?” You don’t know why you felt the need to ask. For one, you were very confident in your abilities, and you also knew that Paige was likely still going home with other girls. It’s not a topic you ever cared enough to approach. 

“No other girls anymore. None could make me cum like you,” Paige shook her head, moving to grab your waist and help facilitate your movements as if she was seeking any form of control she could get. “Riding my dick like a slut, baby, fuck.”

Your eyes wandered a bit, over to the collection of photographs on Paige’s wall, the number of awards given, all the way to one particular object. Your hips began to slow progressively until they came to a complete stop, prompting a disappointed groan from the blonde beneath you.

“Stand up. I wanna try something new.”

“I want to fuck in the mirror, I like to look at your face when you in it

Come in the room and I'm giving commands

I am the captain and he the lieutenant”

The sides of the chair you were gripping were cold, in contrast to the heat rushing through the rest of your body. Paige stood behind you, pounding into you from behind as the both of you took full advantage of the full length mirror beside you giving you a full view of everything - and by everything, you meant everything, from the way Paige’s hair looked entirely fucked out to the wetness dripping down her thighs.

Paige’s eyes squeezed shut, unable to handle the way your ass looked rippling against her, how your waist fit in her hands as she slammed you back, and she especially could not handle the way you were looking at her in the mirror. “Baby imma bust,” she moaned, her words slurred together. She was too drunk off of you.

“Hold it. I’m almost there,” you instructed, reaching down to rub circles around your clit. You were dripping, cream forming a ring around Paige’s strap. You moved your hips, twerking on her dick as you looked back at it. Paige was convinced in that moment that if it were not anatomically impossible, she would have absolutely accidentally knocked you up in that moment.

“Need to cum so bad, baby. You feel so good, so fucking fine.” 

The warmth that once rushed through you from the joint was now accumulating to your core. It was all becoming too much, even more so when she slapped your hand away to help rub hard circles on you, her desperation a mix of wanting to be the reason you finished as well as the realization that she was going to blow any moment. 

“Gonna cum.” You finally moan, feeling as though your legs may snap as you let go. Paige was not far behind, gripping your waist and burying her head in your neck as she pressed herself to the base inside of you. 

“Usually I like to fuck

But tonight we gon' make love 'cause you bae”

You attempted to catch your breath as you laid down next to Paige. She had both hands on the sides of your face, thumbs brushing your cheeks. “You’re so perfect,” She murmured, eyelids drooping as she fought the urge to pass out then and there. Her touch was less possessive this time and more tender, cupping your skin as if it were made of glass.

You let out a breathy laugh at her words, almost like you couldn’t believe them, yet you couldn’t stop the way your body nuzzled into hers further. “You’re just happy you got laid tonight,” You quipped.

“I don’t mean it like that. you know I don’t.”

Perhaps one of the most important rules of hooking up with an athlete, especially one as high profile as Paige, is to never believe a word they say. So you felt a little silly when you took note of how her blue eyes gazed at you, waking up enough to make eye contact to show you that this was the truth. It felt worse when you felt your heart skip a beat at the realization. In fact, it scared the hell out of you. 

“Stay the night tonight,” She whispered. You had never heard her sound like that, so out of control and at your whim. She was scared too. “I don’t want you to leave.”

You nodded, pushing past the voice in your head screaming at you to run just as you had after every other night you and Paige shared. You were tired, and Paige was right there, and it was just not the time to listen to your head over your heart. “Okay.”

You would deal with logistics later. All you needed now was tonight.

[grvait]

old art again!! this time a rough animation of sawyer and yarnaby 😎 (looks better if u click to view 😭)

im working on a short ppt animation rn. im thinking i should post it to my youtube channel, though im not sure if people here would see it. i think i can link videos on here?? idk

okay I'm gonna talk abt more chapter 4 stuff.. this time about prototype's previous identity.. ch4 spoilers and also a theory below..

hiding the solo yarnaby under here LOL

people theorized 1006 was elliot, which was recently disproven in the chapter 4 tape where poppy refers to elliot as her dad and wishes he were there. in the same tape she addresses prototype as a completely different person. also recall that elliot died in the 90s, meanwhile prototype met theo in 1989. so yeah, they aren't the same person

I've also seen people say rich is prototype, which cannot be true either. in a ch4 tape he speaks to one of the boys who eventually got turned into doey. the kid mentions his coworkers joking about him going missing. before the bbi, it would not make sense for this to be a common rumor at the company, which means this tape had to happen after harley was hired in 1990; at a time when the company would have a reason to silence people

prototype existed in 1989 at the minimum, but considering he says "it's always been about you and me" to poppy, he's likely the prototype of HER. she's elliots daughter, she died in the 60s, meaning prototype was probably created around that time as well.

this means that rich can't be the prototype because he was human long after prototype was made

if you want my take on who prototype truly is, i'd say his identity doesn't necessarily matter. i don't mean to say his origins aren't important, just that his name and specific role in the past probably doesn't mean anything in the long run. i've never believed he was elliot or rich, and maybe in the future i'll be proven wrong but for now i'll tell you the theory i've had since june of last year

elliot's daughter dies in the 60s. he divorced his wife in 1930, so his daughter is probably in her 30s when she dies. she gets sick or injured, maybe she's actively dying or already dead by the time elliot begins his research. he looks for ways to bring her back, but it doesn't work on the rats (as he mentioned a note in the 2nd chapter)

so what does he do? he tries it on something bigger as he said he would: a human. of course he's not going to try this experimental method on his own daughter, even if she's already dead, so he finds someone else to use it on. we know that elliot wasn't evil or anything, so it's unlikely he killed anybody to use for the experiment. considering the orphanage isn't open yet (it opened in the 70s, not the 60s), prototype probably wasn't an orphan child either. if i run with my simple version of the theory, elliot may have dug up a body in a graveyard and used that. maybe a fresh one, who knows. he tried it, it worked, then he revived his daughter with the same method.

this is likely what harley wanted to know about in the chapter 3 tape (the "i learn something new about you every day" one), and also what prototype is asking harley to figure out in the ch4 tape they're both in. in that case, sawyer never actually figured out how to revive people with the poppy substance. sure, he can transfer people into the toys, but he can't bring anybody back to life

more reason to believe prototype and poppy are of the same "batch" is because it seems they are the only two who don't need food. it's outright stated about him in the ch1 trailer, and insinuated with her saying the "toys will starve otherwise" when she's talking about how nasty them eating humans is. she refers to them, not herself. her and prototype are probably the only 2 who were ever brought back from the dead, which circles back around to his monologue and gives meaning to the "it's always been about you and me, poppy. what we are". when i heard him say that i felt like my theory was lowk confirmed 😭😭

no guarantee this is right, but it's been my guess for a long time

[sulfies]

If I Lead (pt 4)

Part 3 here

Ezio wanted a warm bath, a good wine and a soft bed… then maybe a visit from a courtesan once he was rested.

His ass was hurting from the long horseback ride from Venice to Monterriggioni but he was glad to be back home. 

Things were not done with the thieves yet and Rosa still had a few more tricks she wanted to teach him, but he had to visit home every now and then to ease Claudia's worries and top up the funds the village needed.

He had found some more riches hidden around while looking for more of those discs that went into the sanctuary. So far he had two counting the one on him.

He rode his horse through the market street nodding and throwing small pleasantries to the people trying to gain his attention. It felt weird to come back sometimes and… be known by many after months of hiding in crowds, not drawing any attention. 

But he did miss being able to just walk openly and not worry if the guards were going to come after him.

He looked around the buildings as he passed them by. More people were coming into the town each day and Monterrigioni was finding his footing once more. From what Claudia has yelled about to him, Mario had messed up the finances of the village in a way that should not have been possible.

Thank god one of them took their father's banker genes…

He rolled his shoulders and came closer to the stairs leading to the villa. Mercenaries were doing their regular stuff. Some in the ring that stood in the middle and some were scattered around the clearing on the upper sides. 

He would check the barracks tomorrow, he had ordered it to be fixed before he left and he hoped they had actually listened to him or he was going to send their half of this month's wages into the repairs of the church.

He hopped down from his horse giving the reins to the stablehand nearby who was waiting for him.

“Welcome back, Ser Ezio, hope the road treated you well.”

He hummed in response, the road was always the same. He had to deal with some bandits but they were far enough from Monteriggioni. Still, maybe he would talk to the mercenaries later about them expanding their patrol zones. The last thing they needed was for the traders to get discouraged from coming in due to the roads.

He started climbing the stairs, the nearby soldiers said their welcome as he passed by and he waved his hand to them out of courtesy and not much else.

Bed, wine and bed… then he would act like a civilized human to the people.

He walked in through the doors of his home as Claudia was making his way down the stairs.

“It's good to see you back Ezio”

“Claudia” Ezio walked to his sister with open arms.

Claudia made a face as she was drawn into his arms “Can't you wait till you wash this disgusting smell out of you first.” yet put up no real fight to get out of the embrace.

Ezio laughed and let her go. “Shame that you would insult your dear brother, you wound me with your harsh words, Claudia.”

“Mhm, I'll take pity once you smell like a human being again. Go now, the maids have already prepared a bath for you, we will catch up after, with dinner.”

Ezio smiled and climbed the stairs with a spring in his step. He had missed home and its luxuries.

Opening the door to his room he sighed blissfully once his eyes landed on the tub. He couldn't get the armour off him faster.

Once his limbs hit the warm water his muscles melted their aches like butter. Looking at the stool nearby he saw a goblet filled with wine sitting pretty for him and his smile widened. 

“It's the simple things really…”

He grabbed his cup and just sat in the tub as he sipped it, savouring every drop. 

He spent longer than he usually did, the water was almost lukewarm when he decided to start washing himself fully.

What he wouldn't give for a massage right this very moment… 

By the time he got out of the tub, the water was on its way to become cold. He dried himself off and put on his fresh clothes. 

Also laid out on his bed for ease; he could kiss the maids.

He put on his bracers and made his way down to his sister’s office, a small chest filled with their new funds by his side.

“Do I have the permission to enter the premises, my lady?” he mocked with two taps on the doorframe, drawing Claudia's attention from the papers on her desk.

“Since I didn't smell you coming in… yes, you do.”

Ezio walked to the desk dropping the chest on it slowly, Claudia's eyes sparkled as she got up to open it up. 

Eyeing the coins inside she smiled back at him.

“Good work, brother! Do you know how much is inside?”

Ezio shook his head “No, that's your job” and received a pout for his answer. 

“One day your face is going to get stuck like that��

“And I'll blame you for it ’till you die.”

He drew her in for another hug, a longer one and this time Claudia was happy to return it fully.

“How is Madre…” He felt Claudia's shoulders rise in a sigh. “Same as always, but she eats and drinks. Some days I can get her to walk around the garden, which is something, but still not a word has fallen from her lips.”

Ezip nodded and planted a small kiss into his sister's hair as he let her go. “I'll go check up on her after dinner, got some more feathers for her.”

“That would be nice, somedays I find her in front of the box gazing… at least it is a reaction of some kind”

“Indeed.”

---------------------------

The dinner passed with laughter and the latest gossip from both sides, what Ezio did, how the town fared while he was gone…

“The repairs on the barracks are almost complete”

“That's good, I was thinking about getting the church fixed next.”

Claudia smiled. “Venice has changed you huh…” Ezio laughed. “It's not that. Truthfully, I could not care less about it, but since the brothel and the barracks, I fear if I don't actually fix it soon people are going to get annoyed.”

“Glad to see you use your head for once.” Ezio rolled his eyes at the comment. “But yes that would put some people at ease, maybe draw some more people in. The shops have been faring well, but there are still many empty ones.”

“The market looked pretty full to me…”

“That's because everyone knew you were on your way, some of our merchants have been sending their better wares away to bigger cities via traders.”

Ezio raised an eyebrow “You want me to do a little bit of inspection don't you…”

“Yes, go around and show yourself so they have a reason to not hide them”

She took a bite from her meal. “And maybe stay longer than a week this time hm? I know you have much to do back in Venice, but as a young woman I can only throw my weight around so much in this place Ezio”

Ezio scoffed, “You basically run this town better than I would, all the bookings are done by you.” 

“I do run it better than you, I'm not saying I don't. I am saying that annoying people like the mercenaries and the merchants respond better to an authority they fear…Which would be, you.”

“So you want me on guard dog duty.” 

“Yes, I'm sure Venice can handle a couple of weeks without their local vigilante.”

“Whatever you say, my liege.”

---------------------------

After dinner, Ezio visited his mother's chambers. 

As Claudia had said she didn't look any better… but she didn't look any worse, either.

He walked in with soft steps and his shoulders down. She felt like a scared feral animal some days, if he moved quickly she might try to fly in fright.

She was sitting by her bedside chair facing the balcony watching the sky, hands still in a prayer.

“Madre, I'm back” He didn't really wait for a reply, used to the silence by now but it still hurt his heart.

He came close to her side and kneeled by her, placing his hand on top of hers.

“I'm not done yet in Venice… don't know when I will be but thought it was time I came back for a visit. Claudia thinks I should stay for a while.” 

Smiling up at her sadly he continued “I think she is tricking me into taking a break”

He stood by her side for a while embracing the silence. 

“I brought you some more feathers, Claudia let me know that sometimes you look at the box. Glad to know you enjoy them.” 

He leaned down and kissed her hands, his thumb rubbed over the back of them. 

“I'll bring even more the next time, hm?”

He got up and walked over to the box. Eyes still stuck on her form he placed the white feathers in it and locked the box after.

“I'll come again tomorrow, Madre…”

He walked out of the room with the same silent steps. 

It hurt a lot.

Each time he went to see her he had a small hope that it would be different but he left with grief filling his heart each time.

It was weird, could you still feel grief over someone who was still alive? 

If not, he didn't know what else to name the hurt he felt beneath his lungs.

He made his way to his room again, the sun had just started setting down and the weight of the road was pulling him to bed.

He walked into his room and faceplanted onto the sheets, throwing his boots to the side and unlacing his hose halfway. Too lazy to change his clothes, he was clean anyway.

Closing his eyes he welcomed the wave of sleep that washed over him….

---------------------------

When he woke up the next day the sun was up quite high, he overslept. The road had taken out of him more than he had anticipated.

Maybe Claudia was right, some downtime would do him good.

He cleaned himself up with a fresh set of clothes, putting only bracers on from his daily uniform. He would get the maids to wash that today as well, tho he knew his enjoyment of his clean capes would only last half a week.

Making his way downstairs he stretched his arms above his head and yawned. He could probably sleep a bit more if he stayed in the bed but Claudia would give him a face about it.

Stopping by her door again he knocked twice on the frame. “Buongiorno!”

Claudia looked up to him, her desk had some coins lying around it and the chest he brought yesterday was open on her side. 

“It's almost mid-day… but good morning to you too”

Ezio smiled fondly “So, did I bring enough back or do I need to make another trip…”

“I haven't been able to go through all of it but… Yes, we will be cushioned for a while.”

She looked back at her pages to check the numbers.

“There will be a lot of leftovers even after the repairs which is a nice safety net.”

“Good to hear.” Ezio watched his sister focus back on her work again and took it as a cue for him to get going.

“I am going to go down and see how the barracks are coming along. Then maybe visit the blacksmith. Lost some daggers here and there that I want to replace.”

Claudia just hummed in response and waved her quill without lifting his eyes away from her desk.

---------------------------

Once out of the Villa, Ezio gazed down at the town. Feeling the sun hit his face was a rare luxury he got to enjoy only here. 

At the top of the stairs, he just watched the people go about their day for a bit. Things were coming along, he noticed yesterday but now with his full attention, he realized Claudia had repaired some more buildings outside of the main street. Some houses were still getting work done with workers outside. 

He noticed some more ropes going in between the buildings as well. He chuckled, that was nice of her to do…

He made his way down into the street, nodding at the pleasantries people threw his way, stopping now and then to hear people's troubles. 

They were mostly crying about leaking roofs and general upkeep troubles.

He took the street that led to the barracks.

The renovation was still going on but from what he could see they were almost done with maybe a month or so of work left to do.

He walked into the building, most of the chatter stopped for a beat and then continued but he could feel the side glances coming his way.

He paid no mind and went further in, towards the back room. He could hear Mario’s voice boom even through the closed doors.

So that's where his uncle was… with each step the mumblings of Mario’s voice got more clear.

“...I said I would try to talk about a raise but don't push my hand Marsillio. You and I both know I take the defence of this place very se-”

“What's this talk about a raise?”

Mario turned around to face Ezio standing by the open door.

“Ezio! How swell is it to see you” His frown chanced the moment his eyes landed on his nephew.

Approaching him, Mario clasped his forearm in a greeting and patted his back strongly. A big smile was plastered on his face. “I missed you coming back yesterday.”

“Don't worry about it Zio, I went to bed pretty early.” He nodded back in sympathy then looked back at the other person. “Now, what were you guys just talking about?” He tried to keep his tone even.

“Nothing for you to worry about yet, Nipote.” Ezio raised an eyebrow and kept looking at the other mercenary who was doing his best to not avert his eyes. 

“We…were just talking to Ser Mario about additional budgeting for the upkeep of our weapons.”

Ah… still after their old payout before he got his hands on the ledger and let his sister make some cuts. 

“Why? Don't your men know how to polish their own swords?”

Marsillio smiled sheepishly “They do but you can only polish a dull sword so many times before It will break, sir.”

“Well, are any of them broken?”

“No… not yet but would you rather them break in the heat of the battle and leave our men defenseless?”

Ezio put a hand on his hip. “If Monteriggioni ever has to go into battle, I assure you no funds will be spared for its aid.”

Before the other could get a word in he continued. “I have already factored in the upkeep of your armoury into the budget you were dealt for this year. You will make do with what you are given till I see a reason to allocate more with my own eyes.”

Marsilio looked like he was trying very hard to keep his face straight, Ezio found it quite funny. Answering to a younger man, when you used to be able to get what you wanted with ease would put a chip on any man's shoulder.

He crossed his arms with a smug look he couldn't hide “Well, now that we all have agreed on the budget problem… I had actually come here for a different reason.”

Mario looked at him with slight worry, Ezio shot him a smile to calm his nerves “Nothing pressing or such but I’d like the outside patrols to expand their search area.”

“We already cover plenty of grounds, Ser Ezio. My men have yet to find even tracks of passing bandits.” Marsillio retaliated.

“Then they won't mind having to go a bit further on their search to keep the good people of our town safe, hm?” 

He stared at him for a while, seeing the other man's conviction crumble by the second, he clearly wanted to argue against it.

“As.. as you wish sir.”

Really, this was starting to bore him.

Paying these guys for them to complain like young maidens who didn't get enough pocket money for their dresses… but Monteriggioni needed its defences and this was the best they got thanks to Mario, bless his heart.

“That's good to hear, I'm sure the citizens of Monteriggioni will be thankful for your services.” He turned his attention to Mario “It is lovely to see you again Uncle Mario, I’ll try to visit your office later today.”

Mario gave him his signature grin and clasped his shoulder, shaking him with it. “Yes of course! I wanted to hear about your latest doings anyway.”

Ezio gave a nod and left the room. Feeling the pointed stares of others behind his back as he crossed the main room. He knew the mercenaries were not too happy to see him back. 

No one would be happy to see their boss back.

He stepped outside of the building, letting himself breathe a bit. He rolled his shoulders to ease his tension… this was such a chore but Claudia was right, these types of men only responded to an authority they feared.

“Once again hiding to the side Domenico? You have been at these swords for three days now…”

A man talked out of the corner of his eye. He was leaning over against the railing that surraunded the Stable. The mention of swords caught his attention.

“Come on, take a break and join me for at least a cup.”

Another man, older than the one who just talked, was inside the open area of the stable with a pile of swords next to him. Sharpening the one in his hand on the whetstone on his lap.

“I told you, I don't like drinking during the day…” “Then come play dice!”

The man sighed. “Don't sigh at me, I am your senior and I order you to come inside. I have yet to see you rest after today's rounds.”

“Angelo, I am resting. See, this is me sitting… which means I am resting”

The older man raised his head to give a look of disappointment to Angelo when his eyes met with Ezio for a second then quickly went back to the other man.

“Yea sure, and laying with your wife is called falling asleep” 

“Angelo!”

The man raised his arms in a sheepish defence “I'm joking, I'm joking...” With an impatient huff, he pointed his fingers at Domenico. “Don’t look at me like that, I'll leave you to your rest, but you are ordered to come to the tavern with us tonight. No excuses!”

Ezio chuckled to himself quietly and started walking towards the market, leaving the two men to their bickering. Unlike what Marsilio said, the swords looked fine after all.

[annefolklore]

Choose me

Kang Dae Ho x Reader

- Content: Fluff, jealousy, Angst/comfort, smut, oral (both), fingering, p in v, a bit of femdom, a bit of Dae Ho dom if you squint, swallowing cum, hickey, breathplay if you squint, squirt

- Note: it’s a bit canon divergent at some point bcuz there’s no fight in the bathrooms and rebellion against the guards. Also, I know 333 was the one to play Jegi in squid game but let’s pretend he played something else okay. Last, there are some links in this fic so whenever there are words underlined, click on it it’s a link. (There are porn link at some point)

Having joined the games to pay off your dept of 4 million dollars, you were more than ready to leave after the first game with your share of the money. 24k was more than enough for you and you valued your life more than to stay in an environment like that.

You met a kind (and handsome) man during the first game called Kang Dae-Ho. You hid behind him, doing what the man shouted throughout the first game. He had squeezed one of your hands as he felt them slightly shake as they clung to his jacket and you sighed in relief when you finally passed the finish line behind the doll.

From then on, Dae-Ho and you were attached to the hip. He shares his food with you, his bed is right beneath yours and he said he wants to see you when you both get out of the game. Even though you’ve known each other for a bit more than 24 hours, he just felt drawn to you in every way possible. You’re beautiful, smart, funny, how couldn’t he like you when you’re everything he could wish for? Yeah, maybe it’s dumb to have a crush in a deadly game where one of you could be killed anytime, but he couldn’t bring himself to care.

You were already in a group of 5 for the second game, when a girl approached you guys asking for help because she was pregnant. You didn’t hesitate to give her your spot, under the sad eyes of Dae-Ho.

You gave a small smile to your team and you all cheered yourselves up by saying you’ll see each other again soon, and you walked away. Dae-Ho couldn’t help himself but to feel a bit angry at Jun-hee, there were other people who haven’t formed teams yet, so why would she come here? But he quickly brushed off his feelings, she’s pregnant and Gi-Hun played those games before so of course she wanted to stay alive for the baby by coming here!

His heart raced when it was your team’s turn. This time, he couldn’t be close to you during the game and he felt powerless knowing he wouldn’t be able to help you. He could only sit there like everyone else and pray that you make it. You were responsible to play spinning top, the last game, but you were struggling and there was only 35 seconds left.

One of the players, 333, put his hand on your shoulder and said “Come on, I know you can do it”. You took a deep breath as you tried again, trying to stop the shaking of your hands.

Everyone cheered as the toy spinned on the ground and your team quickly walked to jegi, where 333 nailed it on the first try.

You finally made it to the finish line with only 3 seconds left and didn’t have time to cheer up before loud gunshots exploded through the air. The team against yours was now laying dead on the ground.

Player 333 hugged and congratulated you as the guards guided your team away.

At least someone else was with you, he thought.

His motivation through it all was you and his hand moved on his own with swift and fast movements as he played gonggi. Dae-Ho’s mind was already imagining you jumping in his arms when he would walk back in the dormitory room.

With a sigh of relief when a guard unlocked his ankles, he left alongside everyone else. When he came back, you were sat on your bed with player 333 with you. You laughed at something he said and noticed Dae-Ho at the same time. You waved you hand at him and went back to your conversation with the guy.

What was his name again? Mung-Gu or something? He didn’t care that much to know, but as he watched you too interact, he understood you. Mung-Gu is more handsome than him, it seemed like he was funnier to be around and he was there for you during the second game. Not like him.

Eventually you came back toward your usual group with them and you all congratulated each other. Like usual, you hung out with Dae-Ho for the rest of the evening, but you had noticed something was wrong with him. He wasn’t smiling like usual, he was more quiet and…well he just seemed down for some reason you couldn’t guess and he wouldn’t tell you.

His jealousy fell immediately as soon as you wrapped your arms around his neck to pull him in a warm hug “I won’t force you to speak, if you don’t want to right now. But I want you to know that you can tell me anything”

His heart melted at your words. You’re so kind, how could he stay in a bad mood when you speak such sweet words to him?

At night, Gi-Hun said to stay close together and that he’ll stay awake to stay aware of the surroundings. You went to Dae-Ho’s bed and asked him if you could stay with him for the night, after being a bit scared at what Gi-Hun said, you didn’t want to be alone. Dae-Ho nodded and scooted over to make some space for you to lay down with your own pillow and cover. He was laying on his side, his back facing you and you hesitated as you laid your hand on his side.

A small silence reigned between you guys before he cracked. He couldn’t help himself but say “Do you���do you wanna cuddle?”.

“Yeah” you answered. He turned around and you both scooted closer to each other as he opened his arms for you, enveloping your body and pressing it softly against his own. You put your leg on his hip to feel him more

Physical touch has always been something Dae-Ho loved receiving and giving to people, especially with you. So he was more than happy to cuddle you.

“Are you mad at me?” He heard your worrying voice ask and his heart could only soar.

“No, I’m just tired” he answered, hoping you’d drop it. It would be too embarrassing to say why he was acting like that, it’s not like you guys were together or something. He shouldn’t even feel like that in the first place.

Just like he hoped, you dropped it and simply went to sleep, lulled by his heartbeat and his hands caressing your back, and soon enough Dae-Ho fell asleep too.

The next day, it seemed Dae-Ho came back to his usual self. During breakfast, you guys were chatting about pretty much everything while sharing your food.

“What’s that on your arm?” You noticed ink on his skin.

He pulled up his sleeve, revealing a tattoo. You never would’ve thought of your friend as a tattoo person.

“It’s from when I was in the Marines” he says.

“The marine? You must be strong and courageous then” you joked (not really), to stroke his ego.

He smiled as he flexed his biceps “Of course I am”. Pink filled his cheeks when you laughed and he locked eyes with Jung-Bae who gave him a thumbs up with an approval expression on his face, and it only made Dae-Ho blush even more.

But soon enough, you guys’ small bubble was pierced when guards came to take you to the next game. As you walked there, beside your friends, you felt Dae-Ho’s warm hand slid in yours. Looking up at him, he was trying to play it cool but you could see he was nervous so you squeezed his hand.

God, he’s adorable. Why did you have to meet him in such circumstances!?, You lament to yourself in your head. If it wasn’t for the games you’d have asked him out already, but that’s basically impossible in here.

The game was Mingle, the rules were to be in teams of the number given and lock yourselves in rooms. Several turns passed and you had managed to survive them all.

When the speaker announced “2” Dae-Ho grapped your hand and ran fast, basically dragging you with him. But through the chaos of people running, someone ran right into you and you tripped right on the ground. You heard Dae-Ho shout your name and he turned around running back to help you get up, but at the same time, someone grabbed his arm and pulled him with them in a room.

Taken aback, he opened the door of the small room, but you were already gone from your spot.

Oh no.

Please no.

God please.

A train of thought raced through his mind as he scanned around through the small opening, looking for you. But throughout the chaos of people, the bad lightning and angle it was almost impossible to see well.

His ears ringed when people started dropping to the ground as the guards shot them. It was almost unreal to see and every time a woman died, his guts pinched even more and he felt sick while trying to see which one was you. But it was too fast and other pink soldiers came in with their black boxes and the vehicle they carry them with, hiding even more.

He has failed you. Kang Dae-Ho has failed you and you were dead now because of him.

“Her clock has not striken midnight yet” he heard a voice say behind him.

The weird shaman woman was there, staring at him with her dark creepy eyes.

At the same time, he heard the door being unlocked and he stepped out, the speaker announcing the end of the third game.

Nothing made sense anymore. You were dead, how is he supposed to live without you now?-

“Dae!” He stopped right in his tracks. Could it be…no, that’s impossible…

“Dae!” He heard it again and he had barely à turned around when someone jumped in his arms.

He could recognize this scent anywhere and oh he inhaled it instantly as his arms immediately wrapped around your waist.

“But…how?” This has to be some sort of he was having. Is he already going crazy?

“Myung-Gi saved me” you answered “I fell right in front of him so he scooped me and basically carried me to a room”

Of course he did, he thought with a bit of bitter. But right now was not the right time for such feelings, at least you were alive.

The man was right behind you, standing there with his hands in his pockets. He had been there for you twice already, when Dae-Ho wasn’t.

“Thank you,” Dae simply says.

“Nah, thanks to her,” player 333 shrugs “She was right here when I needed her the most”

“Give yourself some credit too” you friendly push his shoulder “I was the one who needed someone and you were there to carry me. I probably wouldn’t have made it otherwise with my knee”

You guys acted like Dae-Ho wasn’t even there. He felt like he was just a fucking ghost watching you both bicker back and forth on who needed who the most and Myung-Gi kneeled to take a look at your knee.

“It doesn’t hurt that much now, but on impact it felt like hell” you say and he stands back up.

“Help Y/N walk and check on her knee from time to time,” he says to Dae-Ho.

He did not like the way he spoke, like Dae wouldn’t do that in the first place.

“I know” he simply says.

333 gives you a smile before walking away and you guys did too, Dae helping you.

There it was again, his bad mood. That guy certainly had the gift at pissing him off. And he certainly wasn’t the only one, Jun-Hee and Thanos couldn’t stand him either.

You took Dae’s hand in your own when you saw again his sad eyes. Why wouldn’t he just tell you what the fuck what wrong? It hurts to see him like this and not being able to help, but this time you decided to not drop it like yesterday.

So when night came and you joined him again in his bed, you waited until people began to fall asleep before you spoke in a whisper to not be heard around“Alright now, what’s wrong. You’ve been sad and angry or something since yesterday”

He didn’t answer at first and you were getting ready to tell him that he couldn’t keep it hidden from you forever and that he’d feel better talking about whatever it was bothering him. But eventually he spoke up.

“It feels a bit stupid now to talk about” he says, now unsure of himself.

He started spiraling a bit, imagining your reaction. You’re gonna laugh at him and say that of course you liked 333 since he saved you while he didn’t.

“I’ll judge it myself if it’s stupid or not” you were determined to know

He sighs and mumbles so low you didn’t get it “I’m sorry, say that again?”

He closed his eyes as he repeats “player 333” he sighs and continues “Mung-Go or something”

“Myung-Gi? What are you- why?” You couldn’t understand what you were hearing.

Shouldn’t Dae be happy that you’re alive instead of upset by who saved you?

“It’s just…I felt really awful during the second game when you left and…I don’t know I felt weird seeing you guys together afterwards, because I wanted you to come up to me but you stayed with him and- and then you laughed at something he said and it made me feel worse. Like- like I wasn’t enough,” you listened carefully as he opened up.

“And then today, I- God Y/N I thought you were dead!” A single tear ran down his face but he quickly wiped it “I thought I had failed you and you were dead because of me, but then I was relieved you were alive but when I saw it was him- and you guys were talking about needing each other- what about me?” He rants

Oh, so he was jealous this whole time.

“I need you Y/N. I probably shouldn’t because we haven’t known each other for long but it’s how I feel. But…I understand if you like Myung-Gi more because he saved you but- it should’ve been me! I know I can carry you just fine and-well, yes he may be more handsome than me but I don’t think he’s stronger. And yeah, I like you Y/N, more than a friend. So much, I can’t stand seeing you with him because it makes me feel like I’ll never be good enough for you. That no matter what I do, it won’t matter because someone else is already ahead of me”

His eyes were fixed somewhere else, refusing to look at you and your heart sank at his words. How the hell could he think like this?-

“I just want to be someone you can count on! Someone you’ll choose over and over again even if there wasn’t this game forcing us into this mess” he finishes with a voice crack, his frustration and vulnerability spilling out.

You were literally speechless at what he was saying.

“First of all” you start to enumerate “I left on my own during the first game so Jun-Hee could have a team and now we’re both alive. I never would’ve forgiven myself if she had died. Second of all, Myung-Gi and I were just hanging out, I’m sorry if it hurt you but like, he’s just a friend I promise. Third, he said he needed me but more like he needed someone you know? I just happened to be there and same for him, he was there when I needed someone. But that doesn’t mean I don’t think you can ever save me or something, Dae”

He slowly nods.

“And besides, don’t give Myung-Gi that much credit, he’s not that handsome to me and he struggled a bit to lift me off the ground during the game” the last bit made Dae-Ho chuckle a bit and your heart flipped at the sound.

“I prefer looking at you way more, Dae” you cupped his face, your thumb caressing his cheek. “I’ll always choose you”

His eyes were fixed on your lips as he licked his own and you could see him hesitating, but he adjusted himself so he could support himself on his arm. Butterflies flew in your stomach, watching him on top of you like that, damn that’s hot.

Dae-Ho almost moaned when his lips touched yours. They were so soft, fuck you were soft all over. You guys moved perfectly in tandem, like you had done this a million times before. Hot blood rushed to his downstairs area when you bucked upward against him.

Your legs locked around him to have him closer if that’s even possible, seeking the heady contact of him. Just this- you guys grinding your sex against together- makes you both pant and jerk, all consuming desire spreading through your bodies like wild fire.

And your bodies fit together so well, like two pieces of a puzzle as you rocked and bucked, hot flesh against each other. But it just wasn’t enough. You wanted everything with Dae: hear him, see him, taste him, and right now you had none of them.

“Let’s go to the bathroom” you whispered to him, when you both had to breathe.

Too lightheaded to speak straight, Dae-Ho simply nodded and quietly followed you. After a bit of an argument with a guard (you were absolutely not letting them cockblock you), they finally let you both out and walked you to the bathroom, waiting at the end of the corridor.

You both entered the women’s bathroom, you opened the first stall and pushed him against the door, chasing after his lips. His hands came to rest on your waist underneath your shirt, caressing the soft skin there before going upwards with the hem of your shirt.

You couldn’t wait anymore, you wanted to feel him everywhere, he wanted to feel you everywhere, it was all so much to feel and you didn’t even have a bed to do it well, but it’s whatever now. Quickly, you undressed each other. Dae-Ho couldn’t believe his eyes as he scanned you whole, you’re so beautiful it’s unreal. He felt blessed to have you only for him to have.

You gave him a last lingering kiss before sinking to your knees. Fuck, even his cock is freaking pretty, you thought as you took it in your hand. It was a good 6 inches long with a good girth and a pink leaking mushroom tip.

“I’ve wanted you for so long Dae” you pant as you kitten lick the head to catch the beads of precum on your tongue.

He whimpered, when you took him in your mouth without any warning. His taste oh my- it was everything and even more. It tasted salty with something else that was just so…him, you loved it. From then, you sucked him hard and fast down your throat, swallowing around him.

Above you, Dae-Ho tried his best to keep quiet, but that’s kinda complicated when you were literally moaning while blowing him, as if his taste gave you pleasure. The vibrations of your moans shot through his whole body and he couldn’t do anything but tighten his hands in your hair.

You pushed his hips toward your face, encouraging him to fuck your face. Your nose was nuzzled in his dark pubes and you stayed there, your hands on his hips to keep him from moving. His musk was so delectable, it was intoxicating as you smelled him. Over and over again, not moving and letting your throat stretch around his dick.

Your eyes were beginning to tear up as you looked up at him and you smiled around his cock. You were so fucking turned on right now, your clit was aching.

“Please” he whimpered “I’m gonna cum”

As soon as his words registered to you, you let him go with a loud pop and stood up to attack his plump mouth. His strong hands went to cup your boobs and squeeze them as you sucked on his tongue like it was his cock.

He trailed kissed down your neck, to your chest until he took your nipples in his mouth, sucking on each of them. Damn, your moans are hot. He wants to hear more.

So he sank to his knees like you did earlier and lifted one of your legs to put it on his shoulder

Warmth filled your lower half even more when he looked up at you, his eyes full of lust as he carefully leaned in and kissed your clit. A gasp left your mouth and he immediately went to town.

His hot tongue licked you from hole to clit and he suckled it, your pretty sounds were like music to his ears and encouraged him.

“You’re doing perfect Dae” you whimpered, hand in his hair and the other squeezing your breasts “How come you never- right there yes!- told me you’re a champ at this?”

He whined as he tongued your wet pussy, alternating with sucking your clit and lapping at it.

“I need you to fuck me against the wall baby” you say “but I wanna come on your tongue first okay? Can you make me- fuck Dae- do that?”

You vaguely heard an answer, but it was muffled as his tongue was inside you, licking around, laving your pussy.

“Oh I know you can, baby” you moaned again

You were practically grinding yourself against his mouth, seeking the relief your body desperately needed from him ever since you laid eyes on his physique.

Being around Kang Dae-Ho was already difficult enough for your body, because he always succeeded to make it react. Whenever he’d smile at you, initiate physical contact with you or even the way he’d run his hand through his hair, did it for you every time and made you want him even more if it was possible. And now that you finally had him the way you’ve been wanting, you felt more than happy.

“Finger me” you begged and you had to cover your mouth when you felt both his index and middle finger slide easily in your vagina.

Just like that, he focused on sucking the life out of your clit while his fingers curled deep inside you.

Your orgasm was rapidly approaching and you were right on the edge when a loud knock was pounded on the bathroom door.

“What’s taking so long in here?” The guard say outside the room

The interruption did not stop Dae-Ho from making out with your pussy.

“I’m almost finished” you answer, not breaking eye-contact with Dae and he smiles as he sucks hard on your bud.

Over and over again.

You had to restrain yourself as to not scream as your orgasm washed over you, but it was nearly impossible to stay quiet when his tongue was wrapped around your pearl and continued to suck you like this. He was almost suffocating as you rutted against his face, coating the bottom half of his face in your juices.

He wiped his chin and stood back up to kiss you, making you taste yourself on his lips.

“I like the way you taste” he whispered against your mouth.

“Yeah? Which lips do you like the taste of?” You asked him.

You asked that on purpose to make him blush, because it was obvious he liked how lewd you could speak.

“Both” he answered, licking your neck.

Dae felt like he was in heaven or that he was dreaming. It all felt unreal to him. He had been jealous about seeing you with Myung-Gi and next thing he knows, he’s lifting you off the ground, his arms hooked under your thighs.

“We gotta make this fast” you tell him while aligning his fat dick with your pussy and wrapping your arms around his neck.

The stretch was so fucking perfect, it wasn’t hurting too much and his dick was filling you so good. It was pressing against all the right spots.

Curses left his mouth as he your warm and slick walls engulfed him in, molding your insides to his shape. The second you gave him a signal that you were ready, he began to lift you up and down his cock.

His tip was hitting your g-spot perfectly everytime he impaled you on his cock. The way Dae Ho could support your full weight and fuck your brains out like that turned you on so much, one of your hands slid down to rub at your aching clit.

Moans threatened to spill out of your throat and you noticed Dae Ho was in the same situation, biting on his lips to not make too much noises. You smashed your lips against his, letting your moans melt together in each other’s mouth, the sound of skin clapping against each other echoing in the room.

“You’re so fucking- mhmh- strong” you whimper as he trail kisses on the side of your face and your neck. “I love it when you fuck me like this”

“Of course you fucking do” he says, speeding up his pace “Myung-Gi could never do this to you”

You couldn’t focus on the kiss he was trying to give you, too distracted by the pounding you were getting.

Dae Ho was focusing on not cumming before you, much easier to think than to do. He moved faster and harder, your walls clenching around his cock at every movement.

He wasn’t the only one trying to not come. It’s been so fucking long you’ve had sex, it’s like your body was more sensitive than before and was begging for Dae Ho to give you his all. He was so goddamn perfect, his tip kept assaulting that spongey spot inside you with merciless precision and you couldn’t stop every moans from spilling out of your mouth.

“Take me against the wall” you beg him after giving him a hickey.

He immediately put you down and press your chest against the stall’s wall. You arch your back, basically presenting your ass and wet pussy to him. Dae Ho didn’t waste time as he buried his cock back where it belonged, in your soaking cunt.

Your hard and burning nipples pressed against the cold stall, making you hiss. Pushing back your hips, you met his thrust midway and felt him even deeper if that’s possible.

“You feel so good baby” he moans

Dae Ho was fucking you so good, it almost made you cry how fast and hard his pace was. It’s like the both of you had forgotten about the guard waiting outside. You wanted this moment to last forever, for the world to stop spinning and for everyone to disappear so it could just be the two of you. But seen the circumstances, in a place where death could happen anytime, it wasn’t possible and your clandestine escapade in the bathroom had to come to an end.

You were right at the very edge and you knew only a small push would be enough. Like he was reading your mind, Dae Ho coated his fingers in saliva and suddenly they were on your clit, rubbing the small bud in quick circles

“Fuck- baby!” You couldn’t stop your moan as the knot inside you exploded.

Dae Ho pulled out with a whine, busting between your thighs. Without thinking about it, you fell to your knees, ignoring the pain in one of them and closed your mouth around his cock, fucking your own face on it and swallowing the thick ropes of sperm as he came and came on your tongue. You could taste yourself on his dick and it turned you on so fucking much, you wanted to go for a second round but knew you couldn’t.

It was truly amazing sight for Dae Ho to see, as he looked down. Your fingers were quickly rubbing yourself as you swallowed him whole, your eyes rolling back as you fucking squirted all over yourself while doing so.

After both riding your high, he helped you get up and instantly went for a messy kiss, full of tongue and spit. His hands caressed your body, following your curves and pressing you against his naked body.

You guys quickly cleaned up, took a piss (don’t catch UTI guys!) and put your clothes back on before exiting the bathroom. Both of you could imagine the guard’s face as he looked at the two of you exiting the bathroom, before he guided you back to the dormitory.

Dae Ho almost wanted to laugh at the situation, wondering if the guard heard the two of you.

He guided you both back to his bed, pulling you close to his chest, his lips kissing your forehead and praying to whoever was up there to make both of you exit this place alive.

“How’s your knee, by the way?” He suddenly remembered

“Dae Ho, I got on my knees twice to suck the life out of your dick. Don’t act like you care about my bruised knee now” you joke and kissed his neck. “But it doesn’t hurt that much anymore”

And you cuddled together to sleep.

[nugatorysheep]

What your favorite SU character says about you but it's just mean as fuck

Steven — How is being a mentally ill, people-pleasing queer going for you? Did your mommy issues and anxiety resolve themselves yet or are you still avoiding therapy?

You either disliked or were neutral about him until he got a neck. You think Future is peak cinema (correct) and can't understand why everyone else hates it. You have a better grasp on this show's characters and themes than most of the people who watched it.

Connie — You were likely the gifted kid in school but a total burn-out now. You either see a lot of yourself in this character (How are those helicopter parents of yours doing? Have you gone no-contact yet?) or you're a normie and boring to sandbox with. Probably both.

You've got a lot of Feelings™️about her and if people don't agree it causes Problems™️. In case no one has told you yet, stop caring what other people think. Your constant virtue signaling to appeal to other normies is a crutch that's just holding you back. It's okay to have fun!!

Stevonnie — You want to fuck this character, though you'd never say that out loud. You like Steven and Connie; maybe you like one more than the other, but you like both at least a little. If you're using them for shipping you're the only person in the entire fandom doing whatever hyper-specific ship you've latched onto.

Rose and or Pink — You really suck as a person! Or you used to suck but you've gotten a lot better and we stan! If you're the former you almost certainly have terrible takes on this show (but not in the way people might think), sorry, I don’t make the rules. Either way, you gotta stop finding ways to bring her back, dawg. She's gone.

Greg — You're a man (positive) and gay as hell. Gentleman on the streets and a fucking freak in the sheets. We stan. Pop off king <3

Garnet — If you headcanon her as acespec she is not actually your favorite, Ruby and Sapphire are your favorite, but you like them both equally so you just say you like Garnet. If you headcanon her as anything else you're definitely shipping her with one of the other gems, probably Pearl or Jasper.

Amethyst — Super chill person. Would be in most people's dream blunt rotation. You're a live and let live kinda guy and I respect that, but you also have no hills you'd die on so you're not the first person anyone goes to if they need serious support. You can get away with misinterpreting this character (on purpose or accidentally) because it's hard to say things about her that most people won't just shrug at and go "yeah that sounds right I guess"

Pearl — You're annoying as hell. You see yourself in this character and that's not a good thing. Your social media presence gives off the same energy as every white woman's Instagram profile. If being a victim was a contest you'd take home the gold.

You think everyone is out to get you. They're not.

You think you're being persecuted. You're not.

Most people who see you from a distance and don't know better think you're alright, so you're probably pretty well-liked in public. The only people you will get along with in close quarters are all walking mean lesbian stereotypes.

Peridot — You're annoying as hell for a different reason. You see yourself in this character too and that is a terrible, terrible thing.

She's your pfp on every website and app that will allow it. Your lifeblood is this fucking character and e v e r y o n e will know it. You're weirdly possessive of her and the hyper specific headcanons you made for her (even if you don't say that) despite every grass-fearing autistic person on the internet projecting onto her, so ironically you don't like other Peridot fans, which always ends up with you sitting alone even on websites with millions of people on them.

90% chance you're a furry, otherkin, therian or think you have DID. You think you're misunderstood, and in some ways you are, but the reality is most people don't speak dog and don't have the time or energy to learn. You need to go outside and learn to speak cat whether you want to or not

Lapis — You don't like Peridot fans or kinnies, which is weirdly in-character. You're the biggest hater but you don't hide it and I can respect that. You think Lapis is a victim, but you're only half right. You would probably fall for propaganda if it was dressed up fancy enough.

Jasper — You want to fuck this character, full stop. There's a 50/50 chance you're chill af or the most insufferable person on the planet. If you're the former you're friends with a lot of people. You float easily from one group to another, but a jack of all trades is a master of none, and you're no one's first pick if they're looking for someone close. You probably hate Lapis and her fans but you should really just let that shit go ngl

Spinel — You need therapy (derogatory) and you're making that everyone else's problem. Despite the clown aesthetic you're not very funny to be around and you should get a better sense of humor. You project onto this character way too hard and it shows in your fandom habits and headcanons, but most of the time that's fine

Like Spinel, you're a little two-faced. Some people pick up on that right away and some don't. The people who do hold you at arms length until you make it clear which clown you'd rather be. You hate it when people ship Spinel with any character besides your favorite pairing, but you'll never say that out loud unless it's a ship the people you're talking to don't like.

Blue Diamond — You're a man (derogatory) or a minor who doesn't actually understand anything about this character yet, and would immediately fall for any and all forms of propaganda

Yellow Diamond — If you think she is wearing a helmet you're a man (derogatory) and you expected things out of SU that were never gonna happen. If you think it's just hair you have a much better grasp on this character than 90% percent of SU's fandom and I'm platonically kissing you on the mouth.

White Diamond — You're a man (derogatory) or an incredibly based and sexy queer.

The Zircons — You like Ace Attorney, or would like it if you haven't played it yet. You're making them kiss sloppy style. UwU

Lars — You probably didn't like him until after he died. You will defend this boy with your fucking life. Also you should just…. go watch Star Trek if you haven't. Seriously what are you doing—

Sadie — You're an oddball. Very lax though. You have complicated feelings about Shep

Peedee — You're a little quirky, a little freaky, but you're too scared to just say that. You desperately need some fun in your life, but the people around you make that difficult. Eventually you'll find the folks that are worth hanging around. See you on the flip side :)

Ronaldo — You're the type of person this character is based on and you take it in stride. If you're shipping him with Lars, you're the only person who's opinion on this character matters.

Kevin — I dunno who hurt you but you have a terrible taste in men. You only have fun in bed if it involves a damn near human rights violation

Mayor Dewey — You're normalbirb

Any other townie — This is a trick question! No one has these as their favorite lmao

[archduchessgortash]

Let's talk about the Prayer for Forgiveness:

I personally never care too much about spoilers. Thus, I knew about this document long before I ever found it in-game. Many fans laud it as irrefutable proof of Durgetash being canon. Whether it is or isn't holds no relevance on what I wish to discuss.

Spoilers below the cut.

The only proof of Durgetash that I need is the look on Gortash's face when Durge strolls into the coronation alone. How Durge truly felt is never fully remembered, allowing players to blissfully headcanon the past relationship to our hearts' content.

For my part, I was always more perturbed by how utterly foolish it seemed for Durge to have been carrying evidence of their intended betrayal on their person during Orin's attack than I was concerned about dissecting every word in the Prayer for Forgiveness for the sake of my favorite ship.

When I did find it, I thought it was interesting that certain information about the document was and wasn't on the Baldur's Gate 3 wiki.

On my most recent playthrough, I decided it was time to take some screenshots and make a post about it.

First off, Durge doesn't know yet that Orin is their sibling when they find it, and it is neither signed nor does the in-game item description offer any indication that Durge wrote it. There's also no narrator response or journal update when we read or pick it up.

While it is correct that the Dark Urge wrote this document, it's worth noting that when it is found, an unspoilered player would not yet be privy to that information.

We find it in the Mind Flayer colony beneath Moonrise Towers, on a workbench that is clearly NOT Gortash's, in spite of the ill-informed assertions of some fans.

See evidence below, located on the very same workbench:

Gortash designed the Mind-Archive Interface and certainly used it, but the workspace in which we find the document is, in fact, Balthazar's.

The Prayer For Forgiveness is located here, on Balthazar's workbench:

In close proximity to this item:

More on that in a bit. 😉

Depending on which doors our party chose to explore first in the colony, we either just met or will soon meet this piece of work:

Kressa confirms that Durge could not or at the very least did not communicate verbally while she was doing her experiments on them.

Obviously, that's changed between the time of their departure and waking up on the Nautiloid, as Durge complains aloud about their headache upon waking. They also communicate with Us, Lae'zel, and Shadowheart via both their tadpole and their voice.

Kressa also informs us that Durge was not like other thralls.

Durge fought like the Hells against their captivity.

Kressa's Mistress of Souls' Research Log also informs us that Durge was tadpoled differently than all the others.

We don't learn until much later that the unusual method that Kressa noted was Orin prying open a hole she'd stabbed in Durge's skull to let the tadpole in.

Now... a small tangent that I personally use to explain this scene for a Durge playthrough:

Since this happens before we choose our origin, and in the course of the story, Durge finds out they weren't originally tadpoled on the ship like the rest of the party, this scene starts to feel incongruent with the reality of playing as Durge. When they come across the pod they broke out of near where we find Mizora, I like to think that why both memories exist is that Durge's healing brain might have continued to retain greater control, or at least a rebellious streak, even without the Artefact protecting them.

If they were thrashing and fighting in their pod or resisting in any way, it wouldn't surprise me if the Emperor forced them to take a second tadpole via the proper route of insertion, especially since Empy wants all characters to be teeming with tadpoles anyhow.

When one considers that the more tadpoles consumed, the harder it is both to refuse the Astral Tadpole and resist the forced mind flayer transformation that can happen in one of the evil endings, it makes even more sense that Durge already has more than one tadpole.

It was required just to keep them leashed.

Now, about the Resonance Stone...

'Seized by great joy, affected entity is more energized and also more mentally compliant.'

The Steeped in Bliss condition provided the explanation that I needed for why the Prayer for Forgiveness even exists as a document we can find. Durge wasn't carrying it around with them. Balthazar used the Resonance Stone to make them write it, most likely as a confession about their intended betrayal. I feel pretty confident in this interpretation as making the most logical sense.

In my opinion, Balthazar's post-script doesn't have any Durgetash connotations. It's there in order for Dark Urge players to connect the dots and realize that their character wrote it after they find out Orin is their sibling.

My own post-script:

Does the Prayer for Forgiveness also offer evidence that Durge might have had emotions about Enver Gortash?

I think so, but it can be interpreted in too many different ways for me to use it as some kind of Durgetash Holy Grail.

As I've said before, Gortash's face is the Holy Grail of Durgetash.

The only other character that can get anything close to the kind of visible affection from his expression is Karlach, on an Origin run, when she chooses to ally with him. He's pleased as punch that his old bodyguard isn't holding a grudge, but he's a total dick if she gives up the stones, revealing his true opinions about her in his comments.

He doesn't say spiteful lines to Durge even when they've freed the prisoners at the Iron Throne and blown up the Steel Watch Foundry, destroying everything he's built.

For Durge... Gortash hesitates.

If you made it here, thanks for reading! 🙂

[meowmoew3]

IN MY ROOM - Satoru Gojo

- PLAY! ˚⋆⭑:: SATORU GOJO ONESHOT

summary - Based on Julia Wolfs, In my room <3 word count - 1.3k content warning - angst, gojo sucks, mentions of smoking, slightly implied cheating if you squint masterlist // not proofread

February 7th, Friday 8 pm

You miss him. You couldn't deny it, you couldn't deny the way your eyes were tearing up at the sight of his old sweatshirt sitting in the corner of your room. You couldn't deny it when you came home crying, you couldn't deny the way you stumbled on your words while you informed your roommate on what the hell your boyfriend had done.

Satoru Gojo, the love of your life, well you thought he was. Until he dumped you right in front of his friends at the same restaurant he had asked you to be his girlfriend at two years ago.

"We could never work out, you know this. We both want different things baby." He had said, both of you were sitting down at a similar table to the one you had grown fond of sitting at during each of your anniversaries. You remember the tug at his lips when he had mentioned it being a nice tradition, but even while breaking up with you he was still using that same damn nickname you were growing tired of.

Was it so wrong to want to settle down with the man who once told you that he too, wanted kids and to have matching rings that go further than the promise rings he had gotten you both for your one year anniversary?

That all led up to now, packing up his things in a large box for the exchange you two will be having two days from now. You were dreading the day February 9th came.

February 9th, 10 am

Despite the lack of sleep and motivation you had, you still got up. Your roomate, Shoko, being there every step you took, you could tell she's worried about you.

"You know, you don't have to go. We could stay in, order food, have Suguru pick him his shit." His, Shoko being nice enough to avoid saying his name. The name Satoru had become a sacred word, a word you felt as if you didn't have a right to say.

"I know, but I also have some stuff I had left as his place." Your breath came out shaky, your sitting down on the shared couch and yet you still feel like you're out of breath. Shoko walked from the kitchen to sit across from you,

"Do you want me to come with you?" Before you could answer with a simple ill be fine, it died on your tongue at the sound of her next words. "Look, you didn't hear it from me but, he's seeing someone else. Suguru blurted it out on accident when he found out you're still cooping yourself up in your room." She finished with a loud sigh, well, you definitely didn't expect that.

"Oh." How do you respond to this? During the break up he had mentioned staying friends, you agreed. Not willing to give him up completely. "Uh, do you," you looked up, finally looking her in the eyes, "Do you know who it is..?" The silence consumed you both as she shook her head.

You stood up, grabbing the box full of Sat- Gojos stuff. "I'll be back in a few 'ko." You gave her a weak smile, you had better things to do than allowing the fact he had moved on so fast to bother you.

Dropping the box off in your cars backseat, the teddy bear you had purchased for his birthday a few months back bounced out of the box and onto the floor. It smelt like him still, he had left it behind the last time he had spent the night, much to Shokos to dismay.

Instead of putting it back in the box, instead of listening to your thoughts screaming at you to not bring it into the frontseat with you. You did anyway, grabbing the passengers seat seatbelt where Gojo used to sit, you plugged the seatbelt in across the stuffed animal and continued on your way to the park where he had asked you to meet him.

Upon your arrival to the park you pulled out your phone, he had a thing for being late.

He had unfollowed you on all social medias when you had broken up, not wasting a second on switching your matching profiles and taking your initial out of his bio. You had laughed it off on how his social media presence was a hint you missed on the breakup. His bio changing from, "I love my cute girlfriend y/n <3" to " I love my gf" to "i 💙 my gf" to "y/n <3" all the way to "y/i<3" and finally, to just the plain first letter of your name.

The tears welled up in your eyes as you unprivated your account. Hoping that one day he'll stumble upon your profile and realize that he didn't completely break you, he totally did though.

Reorganizing it, changing your profile pic, your bio, removing highlights and deleting posts on your instagram.

Stalking yourself on the internet just to get a glimpse at what he might see.

When you see his profile you can tell he's barely affected by the breakup, his story lingered with posts of him smoking, partying, and of course,

his arm wrapped around a girl, offering her the same smile you had loved, looking at her with look in his eyes that screams, I love you.

How does he make moving on and throwing you away look so easy?

Your thoughts were interrupted when you saw him and his new girlfriend walking towards a bench nearby, he hadn't noticed you. His girlfriend was holding the box full of your stuff, she set it down and dug through it. If you didn't want your things back before you definitely don't now.

"Hey," Gojo giggled out at his girlfriends wondering hands, "She'd notice if anything of hers is missing, if you want it that bad i'll buy you a new one."

"Aw cmon! Look at this!" She held up the teddy bear. You both had bought each other bears, you looked down at your passenger seat to see the other half of it, one that represented him a little too much.

This wasn't worth, it was it? Seeing him again, hearing his voice only kills you more, would he even care? The junk in the box in your backseat was all easily replaceable and worth nothing to him.

As you continued to let your thoughts scatter you noticed the tears falling, yeah, it wasn't worth it. You told yourself it wasn't worth hearing his silky voice being directed towards you, the voice you knew would make you fold and beg him to take you back.

So you pulled out of the parking lot, the sound of your breaks that you definitely needed to get fixed based off the loud squeak they just let out, had caused him to look up. Looking into his eyes had only motivated you to drive faster. He saw you drive away, your phone didn't ring, not even after you had pulled into your apartments parking lot.

Shokos cars gone, so as you marched up the stairs and threw yourself onto your bed to sob into your pillow you were met back with silence.

He didn't call to ask for his stuff.

You thought he'd call at least.

The box of his stuff sat nicely on your desk.

Despite it only making you miss him more

You've learned to accept the fact you'll miss him all of the time.

You could deal with his stuff in your room.

#BREAK ROOM!⭑─

AYY FIRST ONE SHOT!! lmk if this sucks + tell me if a part doesn't make sense or if i spelled something wrong.. I think i got the ao3 writer effect bc i have been feeling like crap 😭😭 Im so behind in school too but im using my break to write this >o<!!

CREDITS ⭑─ 

Inspired by In My Room by Julia Wolf

please do not copy, translate, or reupload my work to different platforms. I do not own music, photos, or characters used. Things written in quote ( that isnt a character talking ) does NOT belong to me, I am not claiming to own any of it.

RULES ⭑─ 

Honestly there are no rules.. but try to keep it positive. Idc for mdni but small warning, i am not responsible for what you see on social media. if you see something you dont like please scroll it is not my responsibility to tell you who and what to interact with.

[loveandmurders]

Never forget: ya're a Sinclair (Sinclair brothers x adopted Sinclair sister!reader - Part III finale)

And here we go for the last part of this little series. Let's be honest this is my favourite chapter, the ending makes me feel so good.

You can find the imagine and the other parts of this series here :

A little imagine // Part 1 // Part 2

Hope you'll enjoy! <3

Warnings: no proof reading, jealous and overprotective!Sinclair brothers, mentions of sickness, death and blood, very morally grey reader, mentions of the Sinclair brothers desiring you, a few strong words, violence feels a little bit too good

The next morning, you were a little bit surprised to find the three men already settled at the kitchen table. They were so deeply focused on their conversation that they didn’t hear you coming. 

“What’s up?” you asked and they all jumped and looked up at you.

“Ah hello, darl’” Bo hummed as he got up for his good morning hug. Your two other brothers did the same. They all hugged you a little bit longer and tighter than usual. 

You noticed they didn’t answer you right away, so you quietly started to eat before Vincent started to sign to you:

“What do you want to do about your “family”?” he asked and you felt how tense they all were, waiting for your answers like lions ready to jump on their prey. 

They had always been very protective of you, but it felt different than usual. A new kind of fire was burning through their veins. You could tell they were ready to destroy everything if it meant keeping you theirs. You were reassured because it meant your parents were wrong about you - you were loved and lovable -, but you were also quite curious about this.

“I don’t really know. I kinda just want to let the karma deal with them. I mean, Lydia will die if I don’t do anything, and her husband’ll lose it without her. Being that powerless will destroy him.” you replied with a little shrug. 

The night had brought you a lot of peace, especially after having spent the evening being cuddled and looked after by the Sinclairs.

“There is still the other one” Bo groaned and Vincent and Lester quickly nodded their heads in agreement with that

“The other one? Sean?” you hummed with a raised eyebrow. You had to admit that it was amusing you a little bit to see them acting like that. “You’re jealous?” you teased

“Ya ain’t needin’ anyone else in your life but us. He’s a threat to this family” Bo replied, his eyes seemed darker than usual.

So that was a yes.

“He is no threat” you tried to reassure them

“If ya ain’t lettin’ us kill him, then he is” Bo argued back and you were a little bit stunned.

“So it’s not about what I want to do to them, it’s about what you want to do to Sean” you replied “I don’t care about him” you said, even though a little part of you still wanted to know more of him “But I do care about you, and my parents would quickly know something happened to him. They would call the police and the lead would easily drive them to Ambrose. I can’t let you do something that stupid.” you tried to reason with them.

“We can find ways, do ya think we’re idiots?” Lester asked and you were a little bit taken aback that even Lester was so eager to have Sean dead.

“They know about Ambrose, even if they don’t know where it is. Yet. Look, I know you’re good at killing and smart, but this is very unnecessary. Sean is no threat. You’re the ones I love.” you said, getting a little bit worried now

“Of course we are” Bo smiled but it didn’t fully reached his eyes

“Look, I need to go to work. We’ll continue this conversation tonight.” you said, trying to get away from this for the moment. 

You stood up.

“Lester’ll drive ya to work this morning, and I’ll come get ya tonight” Bo said. 

And it wasn’t a question. You watched them all, in complete bewilderment. It was the first time they were acting that way, the first time they didn’t care about your freedom as long as it meant you were safe and by their side. You could tell how thin the line between siblings and lovers was getting now. You didn’t know what to say; you wanted to argue back but it was obvious the three men wouldn’t back off.

“You don’t trust me?” you finally asked

“We don’t trust him. And we want ya to be safe.” Lester tried to smooth things out

“Somethin’ wrong with that plan, love? Maybe ya wanted to spend some time with Sean without tellin’ us?” Bo asked, he wasn’t hiding his paranoia or jealousy at all

“Of course not” you simply shook your head; you didn’t want to upset them any more they already were

“Then it’s settled” Bo hummed and you found yourself nodding. 

You looked at Lester

“Do we go?” you softly asked and Lester got up. 

You kissed the twins on their cheeks before leaving the house with Lester.

You settled in his truck without a word, and Lester started the engine. After a little while of driving, Lester couldn’t stand your silence so he put a hand on your knee. His eyes never left the roads.

“Hey, sorry ‘bout that. It’s just that ya’re very important to us. And we don’t wanna anyone hurtin’ ya… Or takin’ ya away from us.” he tried to explain. You nodded

“Of course and I really appreciate it. You know, I was worried that… I don’t know…Maybe that you’d agree with my parents or that you’d want me to join them. And you are clearly showing me that you won’t do this but… But isn’t it a little bit extreme?” you replied

“In no world, we’d’ve wanted ya to leave us… Or to let ya leave us. We’d go crazy without ya, ya know. And I'd like to admit we are overreactin’ but… But it feels right knowin’ we are keepin’ ya safe by our side” Lester sent you a quick glance as he felt his cheeks reddening. 

You were speechless. If Lester was behaving that way, you couldn't even imagine what the twins were thinking or feeling about all of this. 

“I didn’t except any of you to react that way” you admitted

“We love ya” Lester said as if it was explaining it all

“I know” you smiled and relaxed. “I love you the three of you too”

One thing was certain, the little voice inside your head, the one that had tried to remind you that you were unlovable and unloved, shut up. You thanked Lester for the ride as he parked in front of your work and kissed his cheek. He happily hummed and let you go. 

You barely had the time to settle in your office before receiving a new message from Sean. He told you how sorry he was. He wanted things to be fixed, he wanted you to be part of the family, no matter his mother’s conditions, no matter if you didn’t want to help her. He said he saw things in you he would like to discover, he said he needed to take care of his sister, he promised you a happy life. Of course, you knew he was trying to manipulate you. You wondered if you shouldn’t delete his message because if your boys ever read this, they would lock you up inside Ambrose. 

You did that, just to be safe.

Days passed, Sean tried to contact you again and again, while the Sinclairs tried to convince you to kill everyone over and over again. They wouldn’t do anything without your consent, but it was driving them crazy. 

In the meantime, Lester and Bo drove you to work and back home everyday. They were all a lot more attentive to you, a lot more demanding for affection as well, and a lot more gentle. You were really caught up between two families, both sweet talking to you to hide how dangerous they were. But only one truly loved you, and you knew it. You didn’t mind the way the Sinclairs were acting toward you, in all honesty. It felt nice; you were really their little matriarch. The price was they were completely terrified you would leave, even though you clearly said you didn’t want to do anything with Sean or the rest of your biological family. But as long as you refused them to be killed, the Sinclairs weren’t able to fully believe you.

You knew you needed to make a decision at some point; and yet it felt too wrong to kill them all. To kill Sean. You couldn’t be angry at him for having your parents’ love: it wasn’t his fault if you had been abandoned. You weren’t too sure how long things would stay like that.

And it seemed that fate decided it was enough after a few weeks.

You were at work when you received a message from Lester: He found Ambrose 

You didn’t understand what that could mean; or you didn’t want to understand. You closed your office door and dialled Lester’s number.

“Hey” he softly whispered as he answered his phone right away

“What’s going on?” you asked, biting on your bottom lip

“Sean. I met him on the road. Thought he was a tourist but I understood who he was when he asked me where Ambrose was. I asked him why he needed to go there and he said that he was pretty sure that his sister was still livin’ in there, even though he couldn’t find the place on the maps.”

You stayed silent, you didn’t know what to think, what to feel, what to say. You felt a lump in your throat and then you became very nauseous. You felt tears in your eyes too. Lester worried over your absence of reaction. He called your name twice before you went back to reality.

“This can’t be happening” you said

“Bo and Vincent won’t kill him without your consent” Lester said, thinking you were afraid of what was going to happen to your brother. “I warned them about his arrival. Bo will probably just talk to him, to try and drive him away from you.” Lester continued

“I… Look, I’m coming over” you finally said

“The twins can deal with this. I can promise you…” Lester started but you cut him off

“No, no. Ambrose… Ambrose can’t be stained with his presence” you finally whispered, without even realising what you were saying before hanging up.

You quickly got up and grabbed your stuff. You went to your boss and told him you really needed to go, that something happened to your family. You had never left work like that and your look of pure distress convinced him you were saying the truth, so he let you go. Actually, you would have let him fire you if it meant being allowed to go to Ambrose right away.

Ambrose had always been your safe place. You were happy to come back home every night, to spend time with your real family, to be away from reality. It was your bubble. And you couldn’t let anyone other than the Sinclairs go there. You felt a new kind of panic you never felt before. The thought of Sean in your home was making you feel awfully sick. Bo had been right, the man was a threat to your family, to your happiness, to Ambrose.

You couldn’t let this happen.

You drove to Ambrose and when you arrived and saw Sean’s car parked near Bo’s shop, some crazy thoughts washed over you. You had thought that you were simply going to give Sean some money for him to leave. But now you started to feel pure anger and disgust. No, it couldn’t be so easy for people so cruel to you. They couldn’t win. You went into Bo’s shop, grabbed a screwdriver and punctured two tires of his vehicle. 

“If he wanted to come to Ambrose that badly, he won’t ever leave it” you whispered to yourself. 

You put the screwdriver back to its place before opening one of the counter drawers. You found the small gun that Bo was hiding there, just in case he would need it with the tourists. You put it in your pants and walked toward the house.

You found Bo and Lester sitting at the kitchen table with Sean. Vincent was listening to the conversation from behind the basement door. He just wanted to jump and kill the man, but he knew he couldn’t do that without your approval. Sean smiled at you when he saw you. You licked your dry lips. Bo was trying very hard to be his charming self but he only dreamt of destroying Sean. Lester was just there to make sure the twins didn’t kill him, even if he wanted him dead too.

“What are you doing here?” you asked Sean who smiled even more

“Wanted to meet your family. You spoke so much of them. I thought it was important for them to meet me as well, so we can all be friends.” the man replied

“You shouldn’t have come” you simply said and Sean arched an eyebrow at you. 

You heard the basement door being opened and you saw Bo and Lester sitting up. The three men noticed how strained your voice was. There was something dangerous about it. Even Sean felt it.

“Look, I’m sorry if I upset you. It was really not my point.” he said “Truth to be told… I hoped your family and yourself would understand that you are needed. Mom… Mom is at the hospital right now, but if we can’t pay, they won’t keep her” he explained and real tears appeared in his eyes. 

“So you came here, instead of staying by her side” you snapped

“They had lost hope in you, but I didn’t. You are my sister” Sean replied and you let out a very dry laugh at that.

“So they don’t know you’re here?” you asked and Sean shook his head

“Mom’s out of it today and dad’s completely focused on her. He thinks I’m trying to get a loan from a bank.” Sean said.

He was hoping to sound pathetic enough for you to feel bad and to help him out. But he simply signed his death warrant. You walked closer to the table, right in front of him. You quickly grabbed the gun before aiming at him. 

“Wow, wow, okay, Y/N, what… what’s going on?” Sean panicked

“I’m a Sinclair, you piece of shit. No one harasses me, no one fucks with me and no one comes into my home uninvited.” you said “You thought I’d be an easy prey, hmm? You thought you could come here and make me feel trapped in my own fucking home?” Sean got up and tried to beg you. “You are the mouse here, and I’m the cat. And since you so wanted to play with me, I’ll play with you. I’ll give you 5 minutes head start”

He didn’t have time to understand, you simply shot him in the thigh, twice. 

The sound of the shots was deafening but you enjoyed it. You enjoyed the blood instantly spreading through his clothes. You enjoyed his scream of pain as he fell to the ground. You enjoyed how he tried to run away.

Bo and Vincent were ready to rush after him, but you called them and sat down. They looked back at you.

“I said he had 5 minutes head start” you told them as you put a timer on your phone “Don’t get me wrong, ya’re amazin’ and incredibly hot, but even with two bullets in the leg, he can manage to drive” Bo told you with urgence

“Not without two working tires” you smiled and the three men watched you as if you were their queen, desire for you rushing through their whole bodies.

Sean finished in the House of Wax, Lydia died in a pathetic motel room, Mark killed himself the next morning.

And no one ever mourned them.

[ateez-himari]

Hi bb!!! I've missed you so so much but we're both busy with life and I've been really tired lately since I'm making up my missed fasts from last ramadan but anywayss.... How have you been?I hope you're doing well and that you're not too stressed😙I had some questionssss as usual

1-you know how parents(typically asian parents) always rush their kids to get married? I wonder if minari's parents are the same. Cause even yoongi said his parents always ask him when he's getting married

2-you've probably seen the videos of seonghwa wilding on stage during the europe tours, soooo hima probably would've been doing the same if not worse so is it possible to get some iconic moments from this tour?

3-you mentioned in your reply to my comment that hima held hongjoong's hand during the show so did hongjoong first find this weird? And how did he get used to it?

4-I wnated to ask this but when all the members had solos/duos (since only jongho had an official solo) who did hima have a song with on the album? Or did she have a solo?also during the iconic chorus part of 'WORK' Choreo who was hima partnered up with?

5-some chaotic moments between hima, yeo, and yunho? Since they share a dorm. Also who did hima share a dorm with first or a room with

Ily so muchh bb please take care of yourself and stay hydrated!!!! Feel free to reply to this ask when you feel like it i don't want to overwork you💓💓

(Also take this photo of baby jjong that is so cute but unintentionally funny since it looks like the pose 28 from dress to impress)

Omg Mina, hi! I missed you too!!🥹🩷 I wanted to answer this sooner but I have so many things due this week that I haven't had the opportunity to get to it. I'm kind of stressed but you know what, without math this semester is a little more calm so I'm doing okay!

• Himari is the only daughter of the Min family, so they originally wanted to protect their precious treasure against the pain of heartbreak, and were in no rush to see her grow to be an adult old enough to stand at the altar with a man. When they met Mingi, they saw how the two acted around one another, always gravitating towards their counterpart, and suddenly could not wait to see them with wedding rings on their fingers. Now when they see him, the very first question is 'have you proposed yet' and said they wanted grandchildren (though it's a sensitive topic for their daughter, so that talk soon ended)

Mingi's parents fell in love with their son's girlfriend the moment they officially met her under this label and they can see how badly he wants to propose - though both have agreed that in the midst of their ever increasing popularity it isn't the right time - so they definitely bring it up quite a bit. They both have her saved in their contacts under the name 'Daughter In Law' and often call her that when the couple comes over, sort of throwing winks their way

• Why do you always know what's in my drafts...I've been continuously re-working the concert moments compilation every concert-. Since you brought him up though I can give one of them away; they occasionally insert an acting stage between the two - which directly follows/transitions from the HongYunHwa act - and during one of them his fingers found their way inside her mouth while he was holding her throat from behind. (Not to throw anyone under the bus, but some members face troubles with the amount of adrenaline that comes with concerts). Here's a few solo moments;

Now I wouldn't say that the maknae was pole dancing when performing 'Addict' during the second day in London...but there was definitely a pole there, and a blindfold, and the male dancer was Mingi...and 'Wake Up' didn't stand a chance

When performing 'Shadow' right after the theft allegations against Hybe came out, instead of falling backward onto the bed like the usual performances, she dropped the (prop) mic and stuck two middle fingers up (like brother like sister)

During 'Work', instead of doing the normal choreography she did the ass shaking version (the one Kiss of Life did) right in front of an atiny that had the banner 'Himari Marry Me' and took off her jacket to give attendees a good view of her hips yk 🤭

• Hima has been doing this since the very beginning of their career, which he used to find somewhat odd because no one was aware yet that she was still in some kind of childish mindset. When she realized he was uncomfortable with skinship she began holding on to his sleeve, until their relationship grew closer and he let her hold his hand, even voluntarily seeking it out sometimes (in great part because he realized it comforted her - though he would never admit that). It's also a way for the maknae to ground herself amongst the overwhelming background noise, helping them communicate through things like the tightness of their hold

• 'Shadow' was actually the track that was used in 'The World EP. Fin: Will'! There were many more contenders, such as the draft version of 'Blinded Red' but when the other members were consulted about it, everyone agreed that if this was the one she wanted to use they had no problem with how dark the lyrics are. For the chorus she was partnered with San, and Mingi was placed in the middle since it's his verse (why is San lowkey always at the scene of the crime with these two...)

• Hima was rooming with Matz in their first dorm, sleeping on a futon bed next to the window despite their protests for her to take one of the bunks! Here's some chaotic occurrences in the new dorm;

Hima came home from the studio (during Golden Hour Part.2 production) and found the two men holding fire extinguishers while their smoke detector beeped incessantly - they tried to make dinner since she was definitely going to be tired yet failed miserably and set the fried rice on fire...in the pan

The first time either of the boys did laundry they had to go ask their maknae if it was okay for them to touch her 'you know what', which obviously confused her, and when she finally got the word out of them she realized that grown men were asking if it was okay to touch her underwear-

The members can be very forgetful when it comes to her hearing loss and one night Yunho decided to go to the kitchen to get an energy drink (at 11PM...) while she was doing the dishes, but when he slipped past her he put a hand on her hip to make sure she didn't move and hit her head on the open cabinet door, which resulted in her getting scared (because she didn't notice him) and punching him in the family jewels out of pure instinct

Ily so much more sweet! Once this week is over I'll rest a lot and take care of myself don't worry! 🥰🩷 You take care too and get plenty of rest! Also OMG I don't think I've ever seen this one he's so cute ksehfwen 🥹 (he really does look like that pose though)

[misettemisette]

Chapter 5 ➺ Valleys and Peaks

Starting over In Madrid

Summary: After moving to Madrid as Real Madrid's new photographer, Nicky can’t seem to take her eyes off the pretty face Misa Rodríguez. But how will she handle her growing desire for the Canarian goalkeeper when her contract strictly forbids dating players? WC: 3K words TW: very suggestive PS: French writer Chapter 1 ➺ A harder job than I thought Chapter 2 ➺ Clearly on a bad slope Chapter 3 ➺ Calmly panicking Chapter 4 ➺ Hell Clásico  

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I was already lying in bed when I got Misa’s text. My pillow was wet and stained with tears mixed with smeared makeup. The bed sheets were a mess from all the tossing and turning as I tried and failed to find a comfortable position. I had planned to take the time to really reflect on what had happened, but the calm introspection I hoped for never came. Instead, I was overwhelmed by an uncontrollable urge to let go, to release the emotions I’d been bottling up for nearly four months.

So, I cried. 

I cried because I didn’t want to feel empty anymore. When I arrived at the Ciudad on my first day, I was still shattered from my previous relationship. My ex had dumped me as if our three years together meant nothing, leaving me to pick up the broken pieces of my self-esteem. But when I looked at Misa that day, something inside me shifted for the first time in months. That feeling had only grown stronger, filling the void within me, even as I constantly reminded myself it was wrong to feel this way.

So, I cried.

I also cried because I wanted Misa so badly it physically hurt. My entire being ached for her in a way I had never experienced before. My heart had soared when I realized Misa felt the same way, though I could hardly believe it. How could someone like her possibly desire someone like me? Yet, she did. Yet, it couldn’t happened. And, so it hurt. Very much.

“Nicky where are you? I thought you’d wait for me 😞” 

Seeing Misa’s message made fresh tears spill over. I had done it, I had finally hurt her. 

After we kissed and she returned to the pitch, the euphoria I’d felt was quickly replaced by a suffocating storm of guilt. I’d been weak, letting her believe there could be something between us, letting her know how much I wanted it to happen myself. And then I ran. I told my boss I felt sick to skip the post-match events. I hurriedly packed up my things and slipped away without telling anyone else.

Now, reading her message, my heart sank deeper. What could I possibly say to her? 

“I had to pack my work stuff. Sorry, I’m home,” I replied, sobbing more. 

A few seconds later, I received, “I don’t understand…” followed by “In fact I guess I do. Adios.” 

I spent the rest of the night crying over those words.

***

Days off after the Clásico passed, and I was back at work. Misa and I were no longer speaking. She ignored me during every training session. Hayley was doing the same, which led me to assume Misa had told her everything. There were no more photo lessons or endless chatting. The job I had once loved so much felt bland without friends, especially now that I had lost them.

And I knew I deserved it, just as much as Misa deserved an explanation. I was preparing myself to give her one. Of course, deep down, I hoped our friendship could return, but it was first and foremost because I had hurt her, and she had no idea why I had acted the way I did. Maybe it was also because I couldn’t bear the way she avoided my gaze at the start of each training session. Her cold indifference felt worst than a punch to the stomach. I found myself craving to talk to her, waiting for the right moment to confront her. But the goalie was never alone, or she made sure she wasn’t, every time I was near. 

Weeks passed, with guilt and loneliness weighing on me more and more each day. Angela couldn’t do much from afar, though talking to her for hours on the phone helped ease my frustration a little. On the other hand, I avoided most calls from my parents, unwilling to tell them about Misa. My mom in particular, had a gift for reading my mood from a simple hello, and I had no intention of letting her know how my attraction to the Canarian goalkeeper was making my life in Madrid far more complicated than I had ever intended.

***

Spring had arrived when the opportunity to tell Misa the truth finally presented itself, or should I say, when telling her the truth became absolutely essential. It happened during a commercial photoshoot for a new sportswear collection. Naturally, Misa had been chosen as the model. I had dreaded the prospect of directing her without having managed to speak with her beforehand, and I had been right to…

The set was a gym corner with a bright blue bench and a few exercise items. As usual, I was assisting the main photographer and his lighting team. Misa arrived on set, her face a mask of unreadable emotion. Her brows were subtly furrowed, and she avoided my gaze, as usual now. She wore the featured sportswear, a neon orange sports bra paired with matching shorts, knee socks, and white sneakers. Predictably, she looked incredibly hot.

She sat on the bench, elbows resting on her knees, waiting for pose instructions. 

“Um, straighten up… turn a bit to the left and… look at the camera,” I stammered.

Misa shifted into the pose with deliberate slowness. Her eyes met mine, and she didn’t look away. My cheeks burned. Her almond-shaped eyes were filled with emotions she was barely containing: hurt, longing, sadness…the mix showing her evident confusion. I swallowed hard. After a moment, she pursed her lips and glanced toward the camera.

“Okay. Stand up, put your hands on your waist, turn your back to us, and look over your shoulder” 

Misa rose gracefully, turning her back to us. The muscles of her tanned shoulders caught the grazing light from the spots. She flexed her arms, resting her hands on her waist, where her so-tight shorts clung to her figure. Her long legs were slightly spread to give her a steady presence while her underexposed profile detached nicely against the background. She was so stunning I couldn’t do anything but stare, heat rising to my face and other unmentionable places.

“Nicky, adjust her hair. We need to see the bra properly,” the photographer instructed. 

I unfroze and stepped forward, each step incredibly slow. As I approached, Misa held her pose, her expression unchanged. Our eyes met again, and I noticed her slight frown as she took a deep breath. I bit my lips nervously. Touching her felt like crossing another forbidden line. Her soft, sweet perfume reached me as my fingertips brushed the skin of her neck and I ran my hands gently across her shoulders, gathering her hair to one side. She stiffened and muttered something in Spanish under her breath.

I tucked a stray strand behind her ear, and she rolled her eyes, her frustration evident. My face burned, partly from embarrassment and partly from the intense heat of the spotlights. I retreated to my spot beside the photographer. He snapped a few shots and seemed satisfied, so I moved on to the next pose.

“Face us. Hold the ball in your right hand, let your left hand hang naturally, and look at the camera,” I said.

The photographer interjected, “Not straight at the camera, it’ll look too forced. Have her look slightly to the right, at you, actually.”

I closed my eyes. For real? I heard Misa stifle a sneer, indicating she had caught the corrected indications. When I opened my eyes, she was staring directly at me, her gaze intense, her fading sneer still on her lips. 

“Nah, it’s not working,” the photographer muttered. “She looks like she’s about to murder someone. Tell her to smile more naturally.”

If Misa heard him, she didn’t show it. Her expression hardened even further.

“Uh… can you smile, please?” I asked awkwardly, my voice barely above a whisper.

Misa’s chest rose and fell as she took deep, controlled breaths.

“What’s…”the photographer started.

“Tengo que salir!” she shouted suddenly, dropping the ball on the floor. It rolled toward us but didn’t hit anything by some miracle. She stormed off, slamming the door to the back room behind her. A heavy silence hung in the air. Finally, the photographer broke it.

“What’s her problem? That was completely unprofessional! I’m reporting this.”

“Calm down,” I replied quickly. “She’s not at her best right now. I’ll go talk to her.”

I timidly opened the door of the changing room. Misa was putting on a jumper, the promoted kit laying on the floor. She froze when she saw me but went back at gathering her stuff without a word and I closed the door behind me. 

“Misa… wait please, I… I have to talk to you…”

“About what? No necesitamos hablar”, she coldly reply while tiding her shoes. 

“I know you were upset because of me, I…”

“Oh, I wasn’t just upset because of you! But you sure did put the cherry on the cake that evening!”

My heart sank again, I tried to gather my courage. “There is something that you don’t know, something I should have told you a long time ago. Please, let me explain!” I twisted my hands nervously. 

The brunette looked up, her hands on her laps, her glance icy. “Vale, te escucho.”

“Not here, I can’t! Wait for me in my office. I have to finish the photoshoot, just give me ten minutes!” My eyes stung as she narrowed hers at me. “Please, Misa!” I begged.

She looked down and sighted. “Vale”, she said, standing up and slinging her bag over her shoulder. 

“Will you really be there?” I urged her, unsure of her response. 

“Te dije que si!” she shouted as she walked out the door without looking back. 

I exhaled in relief, still shaken. Angry Misa was truly intimidating.

When I entered my office, I found the goalkeeper sitting in my chair, looking at her phone. My computer was on, displaying a photo of Hayley, Misa and me sitting on the grass in our favorite corner of the pitch, the three of us laughing hard. I ignored the prickling in my eyes. I had a job to get done. 

Misa’s gaze followed me as I rummaged through the drawers of my desk. I pulled out a folder, opened it, and retrieved a stack of papers clipped together. Grabbing a second chair, I placed it in front of her and sat down. I flipped through the pages until I found the right section and began to read. 

“Employment contract. Clause number 23. To prevent any conflict, the employee agrees not to engage in any form of personal relationship with Real Madrid team members. This clause applies to the current players and staff as well as any future players and staff. In the event of a breach of this clause, Real Madrid reserves the right to terminate the employment contract immediately, including any associated work visa or housing provided by the organization. Real Madrid will not offer assistance with any further administrative procedures for the former employee.”

I set the paper aside and looked at Misa, her face a mix of astonishment and heartbreak. “I’m sorry… I wish so… so badly it could be different.”

Misa leaned back in her chair, rubbing her hands across her face before letting out a forced laugh. "No lo creo! Que pasa en este puto club..?" She blinked and sighed. "Well, that does explain things…”

“I should have told you after the Clásico but…”

“Shh, Nicky please don’t, it’s done”, she said, leaning towards me. Sadness lingered in her eyes now as she glanced at the photo of us on the screen. “I just wish I could rewind and go back to that moment. La Copa de la Reina was still up for grabs… we were having fun together." 

My eyes stung again. "We were. I miss you guys…" 

"And what am I going to do without my awful teacher ?” Misa added softly, a small chuckle escaping her lips. “Maybe we could go back at being friends?” Her warm gaze shone with hope. 

I looked at her fondly, my eyes tracing her face, from her dark brown eyes under thick eyebrows, to her cute nose, and to the dimples framing her smiling lips. 

“Every time you look at me like that, I can only think of how much I want to kiss you Misa," I confessed.  

She smirked shyly, her cheeks flushing as she closed her eyes for a moment before locking them with mine once more. "Only kiss me ?" she dared to ask. 

I gasped at the thought of her body pressed against mine. “Not a chance” I whispered, leaning toward her. Our hands brushed on our lap and without thinking, we intertwined our fingers. Our breathing quickened as our lips parted slightly. Our faces drew closer and closer. “What are we doing?” I vainly asked, my nose grazing hers. 

“Nonsense,” she breathed, her lips hovering just over mine. 

“I’m doomed then,” I confessed, before crashing my lips against hers. 

I kissed her intensely, feeling an odd sense of freedom for the first time. We both knew the trouble we were in, but neither of us could stop. Her tongue brushed my lips, and I opened them, letting her in. I couldn’t suppress a whine, felt a quick worry about being overheard, before I sank back into the kiss.

Misa gripped my neck, making me so needy for more I stood up, leaving my chair, and straddled her. I enveloped her lips with mine again, pushing her against the back of the chair, my tongue pushing deeper into her mouth. Her deep breaths stirred me, and I barely stopped myself from crying out, the last of my restraint holding me back. Misa slid her hands under my t-shirt, caressing my back with her large palms, making my head spin. I buried my fingers in her hair, and she kissed me harder, soft whimpers escaping from her. 

She pulled my t-shirt up, revealing my chest in my bra. The beautiful woman stopped kissing me, pulling me closer, and making me straighten up so her face pressed against my breast. I bit my tongue hard, trying not to moan as she kissed the soft skin there. I was nearly panting, my hands and face buried in her hair, intoxicating myself with her scent and touch. 

Then, three knocks echoed on the door.

We froze. I jumped off her in panic, pulling down my t-shirt as I scrambled back into my chair. Misa quickly ran her fingers through her hair, trying to flatten it, just as the door swung open.

Ana entered, a stack of folders in her arms. She didn’t bother closing the door behind her. 

“Hola, Nicky. Ah! I see Miss Rodríguez is here. Did you call her in to discuss her unacceptable behavior at the photoshoot?" 

Misa scratched her nose, her hand conveniently covering her mouth. I was sure she was hiding a smirk by pretending to be embarrassed.  

"Yes," I replied, perfectly happy with the made-up explanation of her presence in my office. 

“And did she reprimand you severely?” she asked, turning her attention to Misa. 

Misa managed to compose a serious face, thought I caught the corner of her mouth twitching twice. “She did. I apologize for my lack of professionalism. I wasn’t feeling myself. I assure you it won’t happen again.”

“Good. Consider it over, but keep in mind I expect better composure under pressure from a professional athlete, Miss Rodríguez.” 

I saw Misa sink a bit in her chair before she slowly nodded. Ana turned back to me “Nicky I have a lot of things to go over with you.”

The goalkeeper stood up. “I’ll leave you then”, she said and Ana took her seat.

“Yes, thank you, Misa. Now, Nicky, let’s start with the most urgent matter: the trip to Paris next month for the Nations League…”

I tried hard to focus, but all I could think about was how wet I felt down there. 

***

“Hey Misa” I said, calling her from my tiny kitchen later that day. 

“Hola Nicky, cómo estás?” her sweet voice sounded even softer through the phone. 

“Estoy bien y tú?" 

"Bueno. What’s up? Did your boss figure something out?" 

"No, not at all, don’t worry! I… well… we were interrupted earlier, ahah… and I thought we should talk about what comes next…” I began pacing back and forth in the small room. 

“Sí, pero… I don’t know… I don’t risk much myself but I don’t want you to loose everything because of me… We were pretty close of getting caught”. 

“You are probably right…” I sighed. “But how do we fix things now? We’re not exactly behaving like friends do…”

She laughed. “Exacto. Right.” She paused, and I stopped pacing to gulp a glass of water. “Look Nicky, I say we wait until after Paris. I need to focus. It’s not against you but I don’t think I should be distracted by anything else right now. It’ll be a tough game against PSG, I have to work harder. I don’t want another Clásico…”

“I understand. Don’t be too hard on yourself though. You did your best!”

“I didn’t manage to save any penalties… not one out of five.”

“You know better than me it’s the hardest job for goalkeepers." 

"But I want to be the best goalkeeper, the one that can stop them, the one that can make my team win." 

I bit my lip, Misa was putting so much pressure on herself. At the same time, hearing her so passionate moved me. "You will be, I believe in you."

There was another pause “I’m glad we’re talking again, Nicky”

“Me too, Misa. Friend or more, I’m here for you if you need me." 

"Muchas gracias, I’ll see you tomorrow at training." 

"Bye.”

I hung up and gazed at the pink sky of Madrid through the narrow window of my kitchen. I didn’t know where Misa and I were going. I didn’t want to think about it for now. I was just too content to have earned back her trust after the valleys and peaks we’d been through. I took another sip of water, already feeling impatient to see her practice tomorrow, to watch her work toward being the best goalkeeper she could be. 

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[12th-shavie]

[100 hours in]

Up next, the long-awaited follow-up to Osvald and Partitio's crossed path ! I was really looking forward to this one

Coffee, huh... of course that would be their stances on coffee, I can't imagine Partitio drinking it too bitter, that sweetie

Aww they're using the coffee bit when threatening thugs ! They're such good buddies

And now they're keeping it going as they threaten the loan shark before mugging him, how adorable~

Partitio, my boy, do you not know of the Moon ???

And here comes the ominous night-time that shouldn't possibly be... and the end of the quest. Obviously. I can't get to the juicy bits just yet I guess

Oh well, that's just more of a reason to move on the chapter I kept as the last one : Temenos' fourth (I hope he kicks the evil god's ass or gets closer to doing so)

Oh we doing genocide flashbacks now ? Okay...

Ort I mean to put this in the nicest way possible but maybe you should've doubted your boss before she reached the spooky cave and started being nefarious about it

Kaldena has the same kind of shadow energy as Harvey... evil.

But her boss sprite ? Oh her boss sprite is looking fine~

And it even gets better... Kaldena of the Night is a banger design (the sprite work in this game gets me every time)

That fight was over quickly... but that's just the Osvald nuke setup for ya, he's allowed all the spotlight he wants <3

The end artwork is in front of Crick's grave... T^T (Temenos looks incredibly baby on it tho)

I found and did Ort's next chapter pretty quickly after that and the bit about the lost hair ornament bugs me so much, wasn't Mindt just shown to have lost hers ?? How involved is she actually ? And why do I not get any extra info about anything extra suspicious lately...

Oh well, fine, game, Laila's next chapter it is then

Hermes sure loves her fishies, but I wish she would've just kicked this guy's ass then and there... a girl can dream

As for Veronica's next chapter, I found the right npc at last after trying my luck with every Dolcinaea-related location (it didn't really take all that long)

I can still see the scene after that and picture the metaphorical game looking me in the eye telling me Veronica and Dolcinaea should kiss (screenshots were taken)

Anyway, time for the Throné and Temenos follow-up !

That's looking like a new murder myster- oh Alpates is the victim, so much for asking her about last time

I love how Temenos won't knock the guard out himself but completely endorse Throné doing it (and stealing from dead bodies but that's the gameplay integration for ya)

Onward to the mysterious cave of time shenanigans !

Oh shit is getting real detective mode is back ON !!

I love how Throné casually welcomes Temenos back from detective mode, she's so chill about it

So the treasure is the full mirror... and something about those who hope for the dawn... what were you hiding Alpates...

And that's the ominous cutoff point, obviously

Guess I'll try and finish every last side story before seeing what that "Extra story" is all about, it sounds like a grand finale to me

I found a next chapter for Shirlutto, who I definitely hadn't completely forgot the name of, and he wanted a bunch of stuff I had from my inventory (because I am a nosy player who can and will investigate everything !)

Oh that was the story for the guard in Lostseed !

And that's baby's first desire for revenge, I guess ?

Not gonna lie, that wasn't my favourite quest, the beastling speech patterns got to me pretty quick and they're not my jam

Alpione's next chapter had a fun twist on the hunter premise, she got to do something good for the creature this time around

For Mikka's next chapter, let me see... we have more Benkei being here and a good bean, and Mikka and Pala flirting. A lot. I can almost hear the metaphorical game breathing down my neck and whispering "gay gay homosexual gay" and yuri-ing away or something

Since I was around, I also got to finishing the tower (I had found and started it previously, up to the third floor) thanks to the wondrous Osvald nuke team

And lo and behold ! A final support class ! I first gave it to Partitio since I had him on hand and he had the JP for those juicy support skills (in this household we love a Partitio with plenty of SP and skills that half its consumption are good) but then decided to give it to Castti to consolidate her supporting capabilities (and she looks cute in it) (and I really like cleric Partitio as a versatile support that can heal a solid amount)

While going about my sidequest log I got back to the one for stage actors in Tropu'hopu and coerced the guy to see if I got more info on what he wanted, and let's just say that "Temenos the Diviner" entertained me a fair bit

But since I had a save right before it and Osvald to try and mug the guy, I reloaded the save and let's just say that I didn't know I needed "Osvald the Thieving Gentlemage" until it was right before me

I'm curious as to what skits happen for Hikari and Ochette, but I think I'll look that up eventually, as a treat

And with that, my quest backlog was done... except for a teeny tiny insignificant one in the spooky island with the gates to a cryptic name and the (dying ? or just in really bad shape ?) guy who wanted to translate the book "From the Far Reaches of Hell", so definitely nothing important that I should devote lots of attention to...

Instead I scavenged for more cleric, scholar and apothecary licenses and I'm not afraid to say that the manor ruins being completely silent started stressing me out at some point while hunting for the big deers

And with the 100-hours mark approaching, I knew what I wanted to do : prepare my endgame teams for the true final stretch !

After lots of thinking on synergies and break coverage, I decided on splitting up the party with thief Agnea, cleric Partitio, conjurer Castti and arcanist Osvald for the magical nuke setup with good physical damage from Agnea on top, and inventor Ochette, merchant Throné, scholar Temenos and armsmaster Hikari for a more physically-oriented team with disguised Throné to double up on scholars if need be and extra versatility out of the learned skills/monsters

I got through a lot of equipment management to come up with builds I liked but I am pretty proud of myself for coming up with these

Of course, this has nothing to do with the sidequest boss from hell that requires to split the travelers in two teams and certainly not the fact that it wiped the floor with me when I showed up unprepared

Anyway, up next should be the final chapter, although I don't know what to expect !

Octopath Traveler II delayed playthrough blogging

[10 hours in]

Contains light spoilers of some early chapters I guess

I started the journey with Agnea because she looked like a sweetie (and she is) and she really has the most jrpg "leave of this small village to see the big wide world to make your dream come true" beginning

I got her to allure a villager that replenishes SP with every dancer skill she uses and she's been the cornerstone to most battles ever since

The second traveler I got was Partitio and he's a funny lad, I love his vibe, hat, jacket, and speech ! Also, the atmosphere of his storyline was a nice dramatic change of pace after the cozy first one I got

I headcanon that Roque's betrayal was in fact very much a divorce with Partitio's dad and I cannot wait to see how that applies to future chapters (I do hope it ages like fine wine rather than milk)

Partitio's combat performance was pretty solid despite a lack of AoE but the weapon variety for breaking was the early highlight

I ignored the fork in the road that lead to Hikari in favor of recruiting Castti because I wanted a healer and I feel slightly guilty (but also not at all)

Castti is literally so nice to people I can't wait to see if she really has an extremely shady past that will torment her for at least 1 chapter before she decides that she's going to be a good noddle in spite of all

Her concocting is pretty fun but I wish I had more diffusing serum (I can make do with latent power for now but it'd more fun to let her do some fun nuking)

Castti is also extremely tanky (she's the only one I have with over 1k HP so far) so she was a very welcome addition to the party

The next step in the journey was recruiting Osvald (I wanted to start with him but the 2 forced chapters made me decide to instead make him the reward for reaching the eastern continent) after I ignored the boat that lead to Ochette and wandered around until I stumbled upon a boat that lead really close to Osvald on the map and eventually found him face-down in the snow (which makes my decision to no start with him even better)

His first two chapters cemented him as one of my favorites beyond the visual vibes I got from the first selecting menu, and his skillset was a cherry on top

AoE magic nuking when I already have some buffing and BP donating in my party ? I'm sold. Free weakpoint reveals every battle ? Even better ! Osvaldo battle voicelines ? Yes please !

After that I found the scholar license and decided that Agnea should also learn to buff spell intensity to make my Osvaldo nuking engine even stronger (she's been doing great and I'm very proud of her)

Since it was on the way to Agnea's second chapter for which she was at the recommended level, I went on to recruit Temenos and he did not disappoint ! He really gave me an impression of being a seemingly upstanding fellow who is in fact not only shady but just the right blend of ambiguous tease with genuine words thrown in (props to his voice acting that really sells it)

His detective moment was also pretty cool, especially after seeing the duality of his abilities to get people to follow him without risk of failure and his (very shady) coercing to get more intel

I considered replacing Castti with him as my party healer but he is very squishy compared to her, and she also has weapon diversity and more consistent debuffing over him so for the time being he's just chilling at the tavern waiting for a party composition that makes him shine

On my way to the big city I found the inventor license and could simply not resist giving it to Partitio it simply fit him too well (and more weapons to break with is very nice), although I'm thinking of changing it later to try a Temenos build that would allow him to break even more and coerce better

Now onto the big city to recruit Throné and let Agnea's story unfold further !

[my-gf-is-kazuichi-soda]

Hey no hate, you realize that you’re literally in love with your own version of Kazuichi right? Literally no one in this entire world thinks of Kazuichi the same way as you.

Heeheehee, yes! Ngl my ego is having a feast with that last sentence.

You've unlocked an essay! Have fun reading lol.

Honestly though, I do think of my Kazuichi as an extension of the og Kazuichi, but like, in a different timeline. Not an entirely different personality, even if it seems like that because I draw fanart of her at different points in time without much of an explanation.

I've been thinking about that rule of fandoms post I reblogged earlier. I feel like I only barely scratched the surface of a thought with my tags, but I only had a few minutes left in my break at work. Also, wasn't sure how personal I wanted to get on someone else's post.

At what point does fan-written character development end and "an entirely new character, completely different from the original" begin? Even characters in canon, written differently in some way, can be considered "not canon" by fans. Take "modern-day" Simpsons for example; there was one segment from a "recent" episode (honestly, I don't remember how long ago I heard this statement, so "recent" could mean anywhere from the past 10 years) where Bart genuinely asks "what's the 90s?" This made a lot of people angry, because Bart Simpson was a staple of the 1990s that embodied the vibes of that era, so hearing him say this felt like a far cry from his old self. This Bart is technically "canon," but a lot of people would argue that this is Not Bart Simpson.

Another example is Steven Universe Future. I did not like that epilogue season. I liked the 12-to-14 year old Steven's optimism, and it felt like they strayed so far from his character to have this kindhearted, loving character become so selfish and bitter and, there's no way to explain it without spoilers but he commits an act so heinous that I honestly felt like they took his blind rage too far just for shock value and sacrificed the entire character for it. But, some things just don't reach everybody. What I saw as "That's Not Steven", some people were able to enjoy and get a cathartic story of someone healing from trauma (I wish I felt the same about that show). For me, it was painful to watch, and I only finished the season to end my anxiety about it, seeing him get worse and nothing get better at the end of each episode was bringing me to tears ("Then how can you play Danganronpa if you're so sensitive?" you might ask? I have different expectations and standards for an edgy murder game for teenagers than I would for a kids' cartoon. I'm less shocked when violent acts happen in Danganronpa or Family Guy than I was at Steven Universe Future). Anyway I would consider this version of Steven Universe's character "not canon," and I cringe when people bring up his character in Steven Universe Future as canon, despite that, yeah, it's canon. It's canon but I hate that it's canon.

Anyway, I have a point here, and it is that what is considered strict canon to some may be considered more loosely by others. And fandoms are where we should be free to explore ideas that the writers cant do, whether it's because it doesn't fit the themes, or it isn't "marketable," or it's because the canon writers wouldn't come up with it, or just simply because you wanted to see it and no one can stop you. I understand some people have ideas about characters you'd want to keep the same, I do too! I hate when people reduce Kazuichi to just "fuckboy who flirts with Sonia and parties all the time and is really dumb" (tell me you fell for Kazuichi's act without telling me you fell for Kazuichi's act) or "sad pathetic meow meow" (like, aside from the "blorbo" language, this feels like one part of Kazuichi that gets misunderstood as the entirety of Kazuichi. Kazuichi can be pretty badass.)

Fandoms have been getting more picky and hostile lately (I'm realizing I have too, so I'm working on that), and I think we could all benefit from letting go of some of our stricter ideas about "sticking to canon" and being more easy-going about people writing a character differently than you would, especially because it's fanon. Because we're doing this on our own volition and not for a paycheck. Because kids writing for the first time shouldn't feel like quitting if they can't make the characters "on-model" or "in-character."

Also, Danganronpa at times is kind of poorly written and sexist, so why should I have to stress over adhering to the standards set by those writers and then carried on by teens in the fandom (who might be looking at it uncritically, not that I blame them they're still learning) when I can set some standards of my own?

The "canon" version of Kazuichi, according to the spinoff games I never played, is that she's forever doomed by the narrative to spend at least three years after graduation still pining over the same damn character who has repeatedly shown no interest. Also, doomed to keep the same appearance that she canonically doesn't like (and everyone else also looks exactly the same as their child selves). Like, this is the same character who changed her appearance in middle school because she was sick of being taken advantage of by people who didn't give a rats ass about her. There were other reasons too, but I feel like nobody talks about this one in particular: she wanted to change, so she did. So why does she need to keep the same appearance after that, when she's older and the stakes are lower and she's gone through so much and gotten some development in the second game's end? The meta reasons are so that Spike Chunsoft doesn't have to pay someone to update the sprite model, because Kazuichi is recognizable (marketable) in her canon look, and because it's easier to leave everything the same.

Personally, I wouldn't mind if Kazuichi wanted to keep the same appearance, that's what attracted me to her in the first place. But she herself isn't happy with it (evidence: the last FTE). I just filled in some blanks in the story in my own way, because there's a lot of ways to interpret her character and they don't have to fit in with whatever canon says is the way. I don't 100% trust Hajime's word, Chunsoft's word, or what other fans have to say. I'll listen to it, though, but yeah I am going with my own interpretation.

Don't worry, when I say "Kazuichi is a girl because I said so" I do mean my Kazuichi (and whoever else wants to make Kazuichi a girl, which, go for it!). I don't mean "I'll fight you on it if you think differently." My ideas for Kaz are just one possibility for her, there's tons of others and they're valid whether I personally care for them or not. I don't mind boy Kazuichi at all! I just...I love girls...so she is a girl. In my heart. On another level, I was tired of boy characters getting the cooler designs that don't have a boob focus, so when I saw her I was like "that one has to be a girl! I'm claiming her right now. And probably also a lesbian, just because!" And then I ended up adoring her, because she's so adhd/autistic and I relate a lot to her struggles in socializing and making friends. I hate when people say she's "not emotionally mature enough for friendships/relationships" (that's such a mean statement! I've heard it before about myself. It hurts to hear. ;-; It sounds very victim-blamey.) Yeah, her social problems from autism/adhd definitely play a large role in her problems in making and keeping friends, but another large reason she struggles is because other people don't get her, and that's not her fault. She tries, she tries way harder than I did when I was a teenager to make everyone like her, and it doesn't work, because other people can be shallow assholes who see a "weird kid" and just don't care. I'm not saying that's everybody who doesn't want to be friends with her, Kazuichi can also be mean and push people away and also can be bad at reading the room, but her struggle to make friends is not all everyone else's fault just like it's not all her fault. Some people just have too much neurodivergent swag or uncanny valley for others to get us. So we need to find each other.

Anyway, wow I guess I really needed to talk. It frustrates me that so much of my story is only in my head right now. I want to actually show the progression of Kazuichi's character (so that her character progression looks less like "I just pulled this out of my ass" and more like "I swear guys, I'm actually going somewhere with this! It'll make sense later!") and my s/i's character progression too (in the fanfic we grow alongside each other and because of each other), but it takes time to write a story when I'm also learning the work-life balance. This was my first year having a "real job" and of living alone, I basically get home after the 8 hours of busywork and then get to drawing Kazuichi and watching cartoons and playing video games. Trying to be really patient with myself.

[bumblingbabooshka]

I hate when Chakotay is watered down to be Janeway's yes man because their disagreements are actually very interesting. [A lot of rambling analysis of this debate in particular below]

Chakotay in Parallax is very interesting in that he has to navigate a lot of different dynamics. Balance a lot of plates while being watched keenly by everyone around him. Immediately preceding this scene we see him ask B'Elanna for her opinion on the bridge - both as a chance to show her knowledge in his bid to make her chief engineer (because she wouldn't get a chance to otherwise as Janeway has clearly indicated that at this point she views B'Elanna as a troublemaker who won't be considered for the position) and because he just thinks she's a better engineer than Carey and wants the best possible chance of them succeeding. Janeway sees this as unacceptable. Carey is the chief engineer and so he should be called and Chakotay NOT asking for his opinion is an insult to Carey, Janeway, and might make the crew doubt Chakotay (and by extension the Maquis') loyalty to the Starfleet crew.

At this point it seems that to Janeway integration ["They're not your people"] means the path of least resistance, specifically tailored towards the Starfleet crew. She wants Chakotay by her side to keep the Maquis crew calm but also seems unwilling to consider them for important positions aboard the ship. Though she says that the Maquis are not Chakotay's people, not his crew, she certainly doesn't seem to consider them hers [Compare this to later instances where she stresses 'our' crew, here she simply says they aren't Chakotay's: Whose crew are they? Are they crew at all?]. This less leaves the impression of "We need to be a cohesive team" and more "You're not in charge here." She essentially accuses Chakotay of playing favorites. In her mind Chakotay's actions are not conducive to integrating the crews which would (again, in her mind) mean the Maquis being docile and accepting, obedient and content - not making trouble for the Starfleet crew. Chakotay counters Janeway's accusation with one of his own: That he IS trying to integrate them into the crew but her not allowing the Maquis any opportunity to prove themselves or succeed, not showing any trust in any of them (except, implicitly at this point, him) is making things difficult. At this point the Maquis crew are ready to mutiny on his word at any time. He knows this for a fact. Aside from that looming threat (the threat being that tensions are high and if nothing changes and they remain high there might be a mutiny even without his word) - Chakotay knows these people and trusts them. Though Starfleet and Janeway think of the Maquis as a violent bunch of criminal terrorists, Chakotay and a good number of the Maquis joined because they believed in the cause they were fighting for. These are people Chakotay knows WILL fight fiercely for what they believe in and conversely, AGAINST what they perceive as injustice. Even if they're not in the majority - they're used to picking fights which seem impossible to win. At this point Janeway admits that she ISN'T making it easy for Chakotay to integrate the Maquis - specifically talking about practical concerns; how she doesn't feel she can let Maquis crew have roles of importance on the ship because they lack the ability to hold them. "They don't have the discipline, they don't have the training," - asserting that they just aren't prepared for any such roles and it doesn't have to do with them being Maquis specifically. Ostensibly, she's treating them as she might treat anyone unqualified for the job.

Chakotay maintains that some of them, like B'Elanna, have the ability to be trained - challenging her point by saying that IF they're trained there's no reason for any Maquis member NOT to be given a more prominent role on the ship. He isn't suggesting they just unqualified people important jobs. If the problem is that they aren't trained, let's train them. These people have the ability to succeed if you give them the tools they need and a fair chance, he insists. Janeway then switches gears and her argument becomes not "The Maquis are untrained so they can't be given those jobs" but "The Maquis crew are unworthy of those jobs when compared to Starfleet personnel" saying that it'll cause insult and upset among the Starfleet crew if any member of the Maquis were to be promoted above them. Again, her idea of integration is based more on Maquis subservience to the Starfleet crew than it is the two crews working together. (Not that I believe she looks at it that way, it's just where her 'path of least resistance' leads) - though she accuses Chakotay of being too focused on "his" crew, she is admitting here that she believes her real crew are the Starfleet officers aboard, not the Maquis. She also admits here that the system she wishes to maintain (and is asking Chakotay to enforce) is one where there will ostensibly never be any chance of a Maquis crew member being promoted because no Maquis crew member will ever be more qualified, more worthy, than a member of Starfleet. We can see how it'd be difficult for Chakotay to convince his crew to remain calm under these circumstances. There's also Tuvok's behavior toward him at the beginning of the episode where the Vulcan nearly goes over Chakotay's head and when he doesn't do so (as Chakotay reminds him that HE'S the superior officer, the First Officer in fact,) Tuvok acts as if him backing down (partially) and conceding (partially) to Chakotay's authority is a favor to Chakotay.

Tuvok in this conversation is downright insubordinate to Chakotay. Despite Chakotay being the first officer, he doesn't take what he says seriously, argues that his own opinion on what should be done should be followed rather than Chakotay's, lectures the first officer about his conduct, and then almost seems to threaten him with a report. In Starfleet's rigidly hierarchical rules, acting like this to a superior officer (ESPECIALLY the first officer) wouldn't be tolerated and Tuvok knows this perfectly well. He isn't a rebellious character and clearly in other episodes adheres to these Starfleet hierarchies and codes of conduct very strictly. He values them highly. But Chakotay, a Maquis, shouldn't be First Officer. Why should he be given respect for a title he didn't earn? [Affirming Janeway's argument about how Starfleet officers won't be eager to follow a Maquis senior officer] Even though Chakotay tells Tuvok off for it ["I don't have to explain myself to you"] he doesn't threaten to put Tuvok on report or explicitly mention his insubordination. It's unclear if this is Chakotay's personality or if he just doesn't feel he CAN do that. Tuvok is one of the three most senior officers aboard and very close to Janeway. Chakotay has to think of the optics of any situation at all times - we see seconds after this conversation that rumors have already started swirling around B'Elanna being relegated to quarters that've fanned the flames of mutiny. Though we know Tuvok has personal reasons for behaving the way he does toward Chakotay (which he later admits), I really don't think it'd be out of the ordinary for this to be how most Starfleet personnel would treat the Maquis if they weren't outright hostile: Like they're only pretend crewmen. To a lesser extent we even see this with Janeway: In the following staff meeting, she clearly doesn't consider B'Elanna a viable option when Chakotay brings her up and almost ignores the suggestion entirely.

It also, again, leaves Chakotay in an impossible position. If he doesn't protect and fight for the Maquis crew, they won't ever be considered a true part of the crew and dissatisfaction will likely spread among them. Dissatisfaction which the Starfleet crew will then use to further label the Maquis as insubordinate, uncontrollable, unfit. Not to mention that if he doesn't advocate for them, he might lose their trust. However, if he DOES try to help the Maquis crew advance the Starfleet crew will view this as 'favoritism' and will further distrust him, won't respect the people he puts forth as worthy. Janeway seems to be intent on not advocating for any of the Maquis crew and also seems unwilling to ask that the Starfleet crew grant leniency. She implies that the Maquis crew need to learn to get in line and keep quiet and it seems almost like [we must remember the optics] she has Chakotay as the only Maquis in a position of power to facilitate that. Chakotay recognizes and pushes against that, saying that he won't just be her token Maquis - there only so she can point to him and say "See? We don't discriminate against the Maquis here." effectively a tool used to shut down any arguments of unfair treatment and a tool to quell the Maquis if any talk of mutiny DOES arise. In this model, Janeway can just tell Chakotay to calm them down and they'll listen because they trust him. She also doesn't have to really listen to anything he says: A token First Officer has no authority; his words don't hold weight. [Chakotay isn't Maquis anymore, they aren't his crew anymore - ok. What is he then? What are they? Nothing, without respect.] This plan seems untenable, as much as Janeway frames it as sensible: "I can't make it easy, Commander. Surely you can understand that," and alternatives as impossible "How am I supposed to ask them to accept a Maquis as their superior officer just because circumstances have forced us together?" - in the long run, how would this be sustainable? In any power structure, you cannot expect a group of people you're unwilling to grant trust or agency to obediently follow you forever. This proposed form of 'integration' in which the Maquis are kept on the bottom rung and told intermittently to stay there quietly by the only one of them granted permission to stand at the top would never be sustainable - especially with a group like the Maquis who again, were founded on the belief that its members should fight against inequity and are already on the verge of mutiny.

I specifically find the statement "How am I supposed to ask them to accept a Maquis as their superior officer just because circumstances have forced us together?" to be interesting because personally I'd say that being forced together for the rest of almost everyone's natural life is a pretty good reason to ask people to adapt and Janeway does understand this but only applies it to the Maquis - the Maquis are the ones who have to adapt, not Starfleet. The only thing the Starfleet crew have to do is tolerate their presence on board.

At this point Janeway again claims that if Chakotay can show her a 'qualified' Maquis candidate she'll consider them. I believe this is true but we already know that Janeway's standards for qualification will likely not fit the vast majority of the Maquis and Chakotay ignores the claim in favor of putting forth B'Elanna again, firmly. Janeway predictably dismisses her as unqualified and Chakotay disagrees, arguing that he knows her. He's worked with her. He KNOWS that B'Elanna can excel at the job even if she doesn't meet Starfleet/Janeway's qualifications. He doesn't value those qualifications over what he's observed about her - just as he didn't value Carey's title over what he knew about the gap between his and B'Elanna's abilities. Then, Chakotay switches gears. He admits that Janeway's right - he does view the Maquis as his crew but that's because Janeway (almost self admittingly) doesn't and if he doesn't, who will they have? [What kind of captain, kind of man, would he be?] "You're going to have to give them more authority if you want their loyalty." "Theirs or yours, Commander?" Janeway frames Chakotay's words pointing out the flaws in this plan which I outlined earlier, as almost a threat (if she doesn't have Chakotay's loyalty it'll most definitely mean mutiny). Chakotay asserts that it wasn't a threat, he's only trying to help by telling her how the Maquis crew will react to what she's telling him. "I'm sorry you can't see that" - not an apology for what he said but that she isn't willing to budge, not willing to listen to him and acknowledge that she might be as biased towards her crew as he is towards his. Chakotay is trying his best to acclimate his crew but if Janeway isn't willing to do the same, to talk to her people as he's talking to his, then this will not end well and that isn't a threat. It's just the reality of the situation. He then asks permission to leave, showing he is willing to observe Starfleet protocol (just as when he asked permission to speak freely), and Janeway lets him go, exhaling at the intensity of their debate when alone in her ready room.

[orcelito]

I'm at the painful "confession" scene during the kage summit arc. It really is so emotional, but also... hm.

When I was younger, like 13 or so, I was a big Sakura and Naruto shipper. They were the first pairing I read fanfic for even. And in a way, I do still enjoy the two of them together... but it's moments like these that really drive home the fact that it Doesn't really work in canon. Not the way that it's set up.

As Sakura puts it, "Sasuke, Sasuke, Sasuke! That's all you think about!"

She's told that Naruto has feelings for her and decides to use it to convince him to stop going after Sasuke. She does love him, but not in the way she's trying to confess. The love they share is one of comradery, not necessarily romantic. The love of two people who have gone through such pain together, and who have leaned on each other throughout it all. And the fact that she's turning around and saying she loves him "simply like everyone else", now... it's trivializing. And the fact that she's trying to convince him of this, the fact that she thinks she Can convince him of this, is pretty hurtful. They've come a long way from when they were kids, Naruto the goofball vying for her attention while she yelled at him for being stupid. Sakura respects Naruto so much more than before, and Naruto respects her too. So the fact that she's still doing this... She's desperate, really. She thinks the promise he made to her to bring Sasuke home is what's driving him to let himself be hurt over and over and over again in the pursuit and protection of Sasuke.

But she's wrong.

That may be part of it, but it's only part. Naruto wants Sasuke back for himself, too. He let himself be beat up to avoid selling him out. He chases after him with single minded determination. Sasuke is his entire drive to get stronger, to catch up, to bring him home. Sasuke, Sasuke, Sasuke indeed.

As it is, Naruto knows she's lying to herself. And no matter what she says, he will keep going after Sasuke. Because that's just the person that Naruto is.

[deus-ex-mona]

such is the tale of a ✨chronically online hypocrite✨

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...