#also yes if you're wondering i was thinking about this because of the gray matter fancomic
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skydigiblogs · 6 months ago
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ykw i just realized i haven't actually posted about the shit i liked about ghost game and i was thinking about like.
gammamon and gulusgammamon's relationship today???
the resolution of that whole thing really made me and my system happy, because one of us was literally in the middle of writing an essay about how no one ever does the "superpowered evil side" trope right, yeah?
ghost game is literally the only time i think they've ever done it alright from a system's perspective
mostly because while yeah, that whole conflict comes to a head at the climax of the series, it also doesn't end in some annoying shit where either gammamon Learns To Control His Evil Side (functionally destroying gulus) or Finds A Better Higher Power (technically he does as siriusmon but), he just goes DUDE YOU NEED TO CHILL and gulus grumpily obliges after getting the shit kicked out of him.
i'm pretty sure i've seen a few systems right more in-depth posts about this here on tumblr but like... yeah...
gammamon system my beloved
#sky talks#digimon#digimon ghost game#i was tempted to fold a shitpost into this but decided to separate it out into its own post because i do want to seriously like#bring this up#also yes if you're wondering i was thinking about this because of the gray matter fancomic#which is fleshing this out in a way that i am SOOO excited for#was literally laying in bed last night kicking my feet thinking about how excited i am to see how they handle kaus and wezen#girlies (gender neutral) will literally fantasize about positive plural representation instead of going to sleep#it's me i'm girlies (gender neutral)#i'm going to continue my gray matter fancomic propaganda for a while probably and i'm not sorry#it's a good fancomic#but yeah when we first finished GG we were fucking screaming about siriusmon vs regulusmon#BY THE WAY#THE STAR WE CALL SIRIUS?#IS ACTUALLY TWO STARS ORBITING ONE ANOTHER#SIRIUS A AND SIRIUS B#i'm absolutely feral about that note in the context of gammamon's system by the way#like from the first time we saw gulus our system was freakingg out and desperately praying that it wouldn't end in some stupid shit#(stupid shit defined here as Singlet Weirdness)#AND THEN BANDAI ACTUALLY KIND OF STUCK THE LANDING#LIKE YEAH WE GET THE FIGHT BETWEEN THE TWO BUT GHOST GAME'S DEDICATION TO THE THEME OF “NOT EVERYTHING IS WHAT IT SEEMS”#EVEN EXTENDED TO FUCKING SHADOW THE HEDGEHOG'S DRAGONSONA#AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA#you know that one image of the person on their hands and knees biting something and tearing it apart like a dog?#that's me with gamma and gulus#god
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aishangotome · 5 months ago
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Alfons Sylvatica: Chapter 2
Chapter 1
♡———♡
Kate: ...Huh?
The next morning, when I opened my eyes---
Alfons was sleeping soundly in his shirt, on the pillow next to mine.
Alfons: Ugh.. Hmm...?
Alfons: Ah... is it morning already... Good morning, Kate.
Alfons, revealing his gray eyes, looked at me with a languid expression.
Kate: Ah...!!
I remember last night clearly.
That grim scene, him visiting my room...
(And then, Alfons kissing me, and us falling onto the bed...)
We didn't cross the final line, because he was tired.
(But... everything else... that...)
We did almost everything that, well... "lovers" do.
---But, I don't understand.
(Wh-why-why...)
(Why did I think of Alfons as my lover!?)
Alfons: Did you have a good dream last night?
Kate: Dr-dream... what... where does it start?
The shock was so great that the line between reality and dream became blurred.
The terror of last night, the pleasure of the kiss, it was all so real, but it also felt like it was all a dream... I couldn't stop shaking.
He watched me like that, propped up on his pillow, and laughed cheerfully.
Alfons: It doesn't matter where the dream starts, does it?
Kate: Wh-what...?
His knowing smile made me instinctively cover my naked body with the sheet and back away.
Kate: D-did you do something to me!?
Alfons: Yes, I did. Lots of pleasant things.
Kate: That's not what I meant...!!
I desperately racked my brain, trying to remember last night.
There must have been something that triggered me to think of Alfons as my lover.
(Something, something...)
-
Kate: Worried…?
Alfons: Yes, isn’t it obvious?
Alfons: Because… you’re my lover, after all.
-
Kate: Alfons…?
Alfons: —You are dreaming. A very pleasant dream.
-
I remembered feeling the same thing just before I was overcome by sleep after seeing that black mountain of corpses.
Kate: ...Illusion specialist.
Alfons: Huh?
(William definitely said that.)
(If my guess is correct... Alfons's ability is indeed perfect for creating illusions.)
Kate: You... you have the power to show illusions...?
Alfons: Oh my, what wonderful deductive skills. I'm impressed.
A mocking clap echoed through the room.
Alfons: --But, to be precise, it's the ability to 'temporarily overwrite perception.'
Alfons: The method is simple, just touch the nape of the neck and whisper.
Alfons: I'm cursed with the 'Mirror." Its' nature is 'brainwashing' and 'mind control,' apparently.
(He didn't tell me yesterday, but now he's so casual about it.. that's not the point!)
Kate: Why would you do this to me?
Alfons: Why? ...Because it's fun, of course.
(What...?)
Alfons: A poor little robin thrown into the den of evil.
Alfons: There aren't many toys as amusing as you.
Kate: ...!!
Before I knew it--smack--I had slapped his cheek with my palm.
Kate: You're the worst...
Alfons: Ah, I like that reaction. It's much more charming than you wilting like you did last night.
Despite being slapped, he laughed calmly.
And without bothering to fix his disheveled clothes, he gracefully got out of bed.
He picked up his jacket, vest, and tie that were scattered around, then turned back with a dubious smile.
Alfons: If you ever feel sad and want to cry again, I'll lend you my chest anytime.
Alfons: Oh... and of course, 'other than' my chest.
Kate: No, thank you!
The pillow I threw hit the closed door pathetically and fell to the floor.
(He really is the worst, that guy...!!)
-
I was guided to the dining room by the maid for breakfast.
Victor, William, Liam, Harrison, Lord Elbert, and...
Seeing Alfons nonchalantly sitting there, I almost turned back on my heels.
(Stay calm, stay calm...)
Victor: It seems like it was a tough mission last night.
He spoke with a sympathetic smile as I took my seat.
Kate: I apologize for the trouble I caused everyone who accompanied me last night.
Kate: What happened to the mission after that...?
My sense of responsibility as a Fairytale Keeper arose, and I asked.
Kate: With such a big incident, surely the police...
Harrison: That's doubtful.
Kate: Huh?
William: I didn't tell you last night, but...
William: Actually, there's been a series of murders, arson, and kidnappings in the slums lately.
William: But the police dismiss it as 'commonplace in the slums.'
Everyone at the table, as if sensing something strange, showed different expression.
Some listened quietly to the information,
Some cast their eyes down melancholically,
Some rested their cheeks on their hands, looking disinterested.
Victor: --That's where 'Crown' comes in.
--And then, there was one who gleamed with excitement.
Victor: There's a rumor that the managers of orphanages and relief homes are behind the series of incidents.
William: Our mission last night was to go to the orphanage, which already had a bad reputation, to punish them,
William: and to do a little questioning on the side.
William: As expected, some of the bodies we found that day matched the characteristics of the slum children who were kidnapped.
Kate: ...it sounds like an organized crime targeting people in the slums indiscrimnately.
Kate: Who would do such a thing, and for what purpose?
William: Hehe, the little robin is clever.
William: If the managers are colluding to commit atrocities, what is it that connects them?
William: Money, ideology, pleasure. Or perhaps there's a 'true mastermind' hiding behind them, manipulating them.
William: ...What do you think?
I was stuck for words, pierced by his probing gaze.
Kate: ...I don't understand.
(I can't even imagine the reason or motive for doing such a terrible thing.)
Just thinking about that scene, a feeling that's neither sadness nor pain wells up in my chest.
When I was about to be trapped in a dark mood...
Alfons: Well, you don't need to know, do you? It's such a hassle.
A random remark that flew in erased my thoughts.
(H-hassle...?)
Alfons: There are children in the world who die without anyone knowing.
Alfons: And there are people who think of it as nothing more than the removal of annoying garbage that has accumulated on the street corners.
(That's what he means, but...)
I was stunned by his remarks that seemed to throw away the gruesome incident so carelessly.
(I thought it was the Crown's job to pursue the case... is he openly neglecting his duties like this?)
After staring at him involuntarily, he met my gaze and a meaningful smile appeared on his lips.
Alfons: ---More importantly,
(More importantly!?)
Alfons: Kate, is it okay? Not hiding this here?
Alfons tapped his neck with his index finger.
(What does he mean by 'hide'?)
Liam: Hey, Kate, is that...
Ellis: It's a hickey.
Kate: Eh!?
Surprised, I quickly covered my neck with my palm when Ellis peeked from behind.
Kate: W-w-why...?
Alfons: Why, you ask...? Because we did that, right?
Kate: ....!
A flush of heat rises to my cheeks.
Harrison: Eh, what? You already made your move, Al?
Alfons: Hehe, how should I respond to that... say, Kate?
--CHOICES--
Turn red
Conceal
Stay silent
--------------
Kate: W-well, what are you talking about...?
Alfons: Oh, come on! That's a pretty bad act. I can almost hear the heckling from the audience.
I can't deny that I had something to do with what happened yesterday.
(But I can't admit it!)
(After all, that was a "fabricated" consent.)
(I didn't really accept it...)
Jude: What, you've already been eaten? My condolences.
Jude, who followed Ellis into the dining room, let out a thirst laugh.
Kate: I-I wasn't eaten!
Alfons: That's cruel... after we exchanged such passionate kisses, you mean my company was just a game to you...?
Kate: W-w-well... you were the one who played with me, weren't you!?
Liam: Oh?
Harrison: Oh dear...
Ellis: You admitted it.
Kate: W-w-what!?
Alfons: Hehe, ahahah!
Seeing me speechless, Alfons lets out a hearty laugh.
Alfons: Ha... it's just the best, Kate.
Alfons: Your Highness, would you mind making her my exclusive partner?
Kate: E-exclusive? What do you mean?
(I have to stop this from getting any more out of hand...)
Alfons: Basically, it means we'll always be together.
Alfons: Two-man cell, buddy, tag team, partner, call it what you like.
Victor: Hmm, quite a proposal in the wake of the shock of your passionate night with Kate.
Alfons: I do have a conscience, you know. I feel like I should take responsibility for our one-night mistake.
(There's no way that's the real reason, right!?)
Alfons props his cheek on his fist at the dining table, chuckling softly.
There's not a shred of sincerity in his voice.
Victor: I don't mind if Kate agrees.
Kate: Absolutely not...!
I'm sure if I agreed, something terrible would happen.
Alfons: Ah, ah! Don't say that. Otherwise... well, I can't say what I might do?
Kate: ...!
(This is blackmail... it's not fair!)
But even if I argue with him, I don't think he'll back down.
(This guy... he's really got a bad temper.)
But it's too late to understand that now.
I guess I lost when I didn't throw him out when he came into my room last night.
(Victor warned me that there were "many members with a broken sense of ethics"...!)
William: Hehe...then, how about this?
William: Kate will basically accompany Alfons on his 'missions.'
Kate: You're saying I'm free to spend my off-mission time with whoever I want, right?
(So, that means I'll only be Alfons's exclusive partner during missions?)
Honestly, I couldn't tell if this was a lifeline or not.
But it certainly seemed better than being with him 24/7.
Kate: ......F-fine, I'll do it.
Alfons: Well, alright then.
Alfons reluctantly agreed... and so, I became his "exclusive" partner, albeit with limitations.
Alfons: Well then... I look forward to working with you, Kate.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Chapter 3.
If you’d like to support my translations, feel free to buy me a coffee here! :)
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sly-s-n0nfusion · 4 months ago
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Hello octopathers I woke up in the mood to share opinions online so today it's the time to talk about
💫 Erhardt's War Crimes 💫
as well as explaining why I don't, never did, and will never like him as a character
/!\ Disclaimer: I'm not here to judge anyone who likes Erhardt, truly. I'm 100% okay with liking morally gray characters in fiction (and I do myself, as a fan of characters such as Ogen, Oshka, Kaldena and Ceraphina, which are pretty bad/terrible people as well, some of them are much worse than erhardt lol) so if he's your favorite character and your little sopping wet meow meow, that's great (you're also part of like 98% of the octopath fandom so if someone has to be the weird one here that'd be me lol) so this post is completely judgement-free 🙏 /gen
I just felt the need to address the full extent of his actions in game as some sort of reminder because I feel like the actual consequences of those are often overlooked or straight up not acknowledged, also because we see a lot of that in CoTC and many people who played OT1 did not play that one, and because I have seen quite the number of fans out there being like "Erhardt did nothing wrong" or "I'm an Erhardt apologist" or "regicide ain't that bad" when I think what he did was actually pretty bad and here's why!
TW children death, spoilers for Olberic’s story and CoTC Bestower of All
Okay so we can all agree with the fact that what happened to him was horrible. Man had to watch his hometown (and family, too) perish in a fire while Hornburg did nothing to help and he's been indoctrinated since he was just a child by Werner, who we know as being great at manipulating and inducing fear in people. Like no wonder he wanted revenge.
In Ot1 we only see him killing King Alfred and thus causing the fall of the whole kingdom of Hornburg as stated by Olberic at the beginning of his story, and then his "redemption" speech during Olberic's chapters 3 and 4, and that's pretty much it. We aren't exactly told what happened to the people of Hornburg after that.
Well, Champions of The Continent tells us as the fourth chapter of the Bestower of All storyline is set in Hell, where Hornburg and its ghosts still stand. And I say ghosts because those are all that's left of its population, with the exception of a few other NPCs we encounter in game who were lucky enough to flee in time.
Now the part of map we can walk on is quite big but it’s still a small fraction of the Hornburg capital (as we can see from the huge amount of buildings around the castle) and there are approximately 30+ npcs’ souls wandering around the streets, inside the castle and outside the capital (again, they’re just the ones we’re allowed to see)
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(Don’t let this image fool you, he’s dead. All of them are dead, he didn’t make it out alive)
The most tragic part of all of this are obviously the souls of two children that can be found in a house, discussing which one of the Twin Blades is stronger. And honestly this piece of dialogue broke my heart
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I’m afraid to inform this poor kid’s soul that Erhardt actually played a major role in the events that caused them to get killed.
And this brings me to the conclusion of this saying that no matter how strong Erhardt’s desire for vengeance was, and how manipulated he was, it still doesn’t excuse what he did. “Regicide ain’t that big of a deal” well no it isn’t, but the consequences of it are. I refuse to believe Erhardt didn’t foresee what would happen to all the inhabitants of Hornburg, children included, after he’d killed king Alfred and gave complete access to Werner’s army. Of course the ones who couldn’t flee in time would get killed. Of course he knew, but that wasn’t enough to make him think about stopping his rage.
He’s not a war criminal because he killed a guy with a crown, he’s a war criminal because he sentenced to death the whole population of a capital city and if we had doubt at first, cotc gives us undeniable proof.
Yes he lives hating himself. Yes he does regret all of it. But he had a choice. And yes, being afraid of Werner hunting him down is a solvable problem when you’re at the apex of one of the biggest kingdoms’ military force, he could’ve asked for help if only he spoke. Causing the death of so many innocent people isn’t going to bring his family and hometown back and he knew it.
That’s why I think what he did was, in no way, excusable.
“Erhardt isn’t a villain” doesn’t stick with my view of things.
Now, on to the personal reasons why I don’t like him in particular as a morally gray character lol
And that can be summed up as “Olberic’s first two chapters made a pretty damn good job at making me hate him”
But no for real it has to do with me valuing trust more than anything else in life and having the habit of self-projecting a lot on every character I play. I tend to ask myself “what would I do in this situation, how would I feel” etc, so it came natural to me to wanting to punt Erhardt into the sun instantly as soon as I saw Olberic (the guy that was my main character in his ch1) literally start his story having nightmares and being depressed because of this guy.
Of course it was instant, deep hatred from me I swear I’ve rarely wanted to kill some guy in a jrpg as much as I wanted to make him pay for what he did (even if I knew well that Olberic’s main goal was just to seek answers).
Now imagine my utter disappointment when the game didn’t let me kill him lol (just kidding, of course after his backstory traumadump I ended up sympathizing a bit with him).
Also no, Olberic never forgave him for what he did, as precisely stated by him in his chapter 3, but he does give him another chance to redeem himself because Olberic is a much better person than I am.
I… have been wanting to write this long post for a while now. I hope I didn’t upset anyone with it as that was not my intention. I get why erhardt has so many fans, with the whole emotional trauma he has and his pretty face and fabulous hair, I really do and I don’t think you’re weird for liking him. I just like to ramble about fictional characters from time to time lol
Peace ✌️
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zillyeh · 1 year ago
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Sundowning
CW: violence, mentions of self harm, very brief bit of gore
“Can you just go over it one more time? Like I’m stupid?”
“I don’t know Zee, there’s only so much stupider I can go before I start making animal noises.”
The smaller troll threw a handful of water from the swamp shoreline at her purpleblooded friend. The taller of the two giggled, splashing her back. She pulled her twin braids over her shoulder, picking up a stick from the ground. As she spoke, she drew in the mushy mud between them.
“Okay, so. It’s basically astral projection-”
“Stupider than that, En.”
Endara let out a huff, drawing two circles with lines coming out of the top on top of two triangles.
“The stuff that keeps you awake,” she said slowly. “It’s like if that got up and left… it’s the same thing as when I teleport, except it’s not as hard. Y’know, cause my body doesn’t need to come with me.”
“So it doesn’t make you cough up blood?”
“Anyway-”
“En-”
“Anyway,” Endara insisted, “Other people can do it too. Subconsciously. Not on purpose. People with powers because of the brain stuff.”
You miss her. You don't know if it can fully register to you how much you miss her. Your mind is used and broken, and hardly your own anymore. It's these lucid hours in the daylight when all you do is miss her and hurt yourself and everything around you. The walls. The floor. Everything. You don't know who she is- you hardly know who you are- but you know you need her.
“Brain stuff,” the anon repeated with a scoff. It was a rare moment where her friend could see her face fully, uncovered by its wraps. It was hot in the swamps that night, both from sulfuric vents below and the season beating down on them from above. Her teardrop pupils were barely visible in her eyes, too dark for her age. It was a game to find where the line of her pupils started and the dark gray ended. She also eyed the hardness of her jaw, too skinny to hold too much of the roundness that was quickly leaving Endara’s face. Then the rest… She couldn’t keep her eyes there for too long, or she’d cover her mouth with her hands.
There was something tugging at Endara’s heart as she scratched more lines into the ground.
“Yes, brain stuff. I haven’t met her yet, but my ancestor up in the mountains uses her powers to get the big dragons used to her.”
The long horned anon bit her tongue to the disparaging remark she always made when En talked about her ancestor. She was too invested in her lesson.
"Is it hard to get into people's heads?" the anon asked earnestly. "Do they have to let you?"
"Sopor leaves people more unguarded than you'd think," she said with a sage nod. "Animals are harder, people who just like, deal with the nightmares are just as hard."
"Fucked up," the anon said, furrowing her brow. "You're the only one who can do that though?"
"Nah, plenty of people can mess with dreams if they try to. There's only one way to tell if someone's actually in there or not." Endara made a crude drawing of her friend's face, including the wraps she usually wore. "Most people's brains can't fully reconstruct a face no matter how much they look at it. There's always something off.”
“I dunno, En,” the anon said with a tch, “That thing in the dirt is shitty looking enough to match the real thing…”
Endara threw mud at her. She wondered if she could tell. Those occasional fleeting touches that gave her access to Endara’s nerves firing off. Nevermind her pulse. She wondered if she thought about her half as much. 
“Shut up, Zee,” Endara scoffed. “You’re so annoying. Basically if you're awake enough, you can tell when someone's in your dreams if you see them. Their face is too real.”
“If I show up in someone's dreams do you think I'd have my mask on? Or if someone came in mine?” It sounded like a genuine question. Genuine worry. Endara bit her lip.
“Hard to say. You wear that nasty thing enough that it's basically part of your face now…” 
A mass of ugly gray wraps, eyes that look so tired for her age. The scarring she’d given herself after you two did something, you two did something terrible. You did so many terrible things. The worst thing you did was convince her to die. The worst thing she did was want you to live. How long ago? The sun streaming through the cave mouth wants you to remember. The comforting darkness wants you to forget. You know you should, you know you want to, but something coherent rings through your head like the clear gonging of a bell.
If you survived, what if she had?
“Have you ever been in my dreams before?” she asks, her dark eyes searching her’s for something. A purple flush warms the other troll’s cheeks. She would notice her if she did again, wouldn’t she? Now that she knows?
“A couple times. Just to see.” 
I could probably do it half dead.
It’s daytime. If she’s alive then she should be asleep. Trolls sleep during the day. Your memories return enough in the daytime for you to know that. Your memories return enough to know that if she’s alive, you’re this thing for nothing. The part of your soul that is still a troll makes you sit. Makes you close your eyes. You can still see the sun through your eyelids, but it doesn’t hurt. Or maybe it does. You can’t remember if you feel pain or not.
A look like Endara hadn’t seen from her flashed across her friend’s face. The color she so desperately tried to hide dusted her own cheeks before she looked back down into the dirt.
“I always wondered why you looked like that in my dreams,” she grumbled, “Nobody else ever looked like that.”
Zippie’s insomnia always gave way to the worst nightmares she could possibly have. One of these nights she was worried she’d hurt Bess in her sleep, even despite the precautions she’d taken in her bedroom. Bed was more comfortable than cupe by a long shot. It was a rare night where she practically couldn’t keep her eyes open.
Were you that strong? That you could find her? Force her to sleep from this far away?
Of course you could. You have part of her. Stability that It thought you needed but she didn’t. Why would she? Treating her like a person and not a battery would have been more energy than either of those two monsters would expend to her.
A the crack of a branch sounds off like a gunshot not too far from the pair at the edge of the swamp. There wasn’t supposed to be anyone out there. Not at the edge of Zee’s property. She can’t help it. She looks up. Hoodless. Maskless. Her face on full display for the adult violet that had wandered too close. Her slow eyes kept her safe, but her lower face?
There was a reason she never took the wraps off.
Endara had always wondered what would happen when she got found out. How much of her fear was justified. How badly an adult troll would hurt what they understood to be a child at first glance.
The answer was very, very badly. 
She didn’t even hesitate before barrelling towards the two. Like a predator that knew this was it’s only chance to strike. Before Endara could move, she’d been shoved roughly aside and Zvejia hauled off the ground by the shoulders. She’d guarded her throat, but the adult was struggling for it. Zvejia bit anywhere she could find purchase, down her arms and on her face. The violet winced and swore whenever her bare skin made contact with her hands. Zee must have been using her powers on top of tearing as much skin as she could.
As much as this troll’s face was burned into Zippie’s memory, she’d never see it properly in her dreams again.
Endara coughed up blood even before she’d teleported behind the troll mere feet away. She hadn’t perfected the art of rematerializing while partially in an object, but this would do.
She wasn’t strong. She was weak. Sickly. Worsening by the day. But she didn’t need strength to do what she’d intended to do if this night ever came. The reason she’d stolen so many of Zvejia’s medical books. The reason she’d practiced to the point of bleeding eyes at all was for this.
The muscle and tissue being displaced made a more horrific noise than either of them had ever heard. It took the violet seconds too long to realize where the lanky purple’s hand was, too long for her to try to formulate a shriek, long enough for her heart to crush all too easily in the hand that had been delivered through her back. 
“Endara!” the anon cried as the violet released her, not dead but certainly not alive for long. When the soon to be body tumbled to the ground, she slid right off of Endara’s arm. Like a glove. Leaving her the gory prize she’d won, and a purple haze around her vision. 
“Why is it always this?” rasped a voice where Zvejia would have fallen under the violet. Where she did fall under the violet, when the two of you actually lived through this. The part of you that is the troll holding that adult’s heart understands immediately. She’s on her feet already. Hornless. Maskless. Lacking the black that once hid her from danger, and the fins she’d nearly killed herself cutting out of her face. The scars were just as ugly, covered in the other ones she’d given herself as well that handn’t healed. Her wounds never healed right. You two always thought it was part of the mutation. 
The rivets in her wrists match your own. Tattoos cover every inch of skin you could see exposed. On her upper arm you see a band of purple that makes you choke out a sob.
She glances towards you. Then she double takes. You can sense her fear here, standing on either side of the first body you two ever made.
Her breathing is shallow. All she says is:
“No.”
“Zvejia…” Your voice is not the voice of the young woman that just killed for the only friend she ever had, but of a monster. Guttural and too big to ever have come out of that girl before she was made into what you are now.
Her next “no” comes as a plead as she drops to her knees. She’s so much bigger and so much smaller than you remember her being. You approach and she stumbles back. That hurts the part of you that forgets what you look like now. The black claws of your toes dig into the soft swamp dirt to keep you from doing it again.
“You can’t,” she said, her razor soft voice begging as if this were a nightmare she could beg her way out of. “You c-c- that’s not- I’m so sorry, En. This has to not be real, this has to not be real.”
You tilt your head like the animal you are. She grips her head. She refuses to look at you. Not like you look at her.
“The… sun… is… going… down…” you murmur, the part of you connected to your body still feeling the cold of the night start to settle in. A shiver runs through the incorporeal dream, making it feel cold within. She looks at you again. She grew up so handsome. So tired. She got to live. It’s what you wanted.
It’s what the part of you that lives in the daylight wanted.
The part of you that lives in the darkness hunches you back over onto all fours, chitinous claws digging into the hardening dirt underneath you.
“What did he do to you…” is the last thing the troll in you hears. Whatever thing you’ve invaded the dreams of this time you are going to tear to shreds like all the rest of those who dare trespass your territory. Except this time something is different. 
This thing smells like you. 
Enough to stop you long enough for it to rip itself awake, leaving you too unstable to stay dreamwalking like this.
You wake with a wet face, howling in what could have been pain or could have been agony, if you were the sort of thing that could understand emotions that weren’t territorial or hungry. The new black of the sky outside helps you reorient yourself. 
With any luck, you won’t remember what you’ve seen come sunrise.
Neither of you will.
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fullmetalgirl98 · 3 months ago
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Funny. This is the summer of my 26th birthday and, the further I go, the more I realize that something is probably going out in my view of life and the world in general.
And I'm just noticing now that this is also being reflected so much in the kind of stories I read lately and the music I listen to. The fact is that I like plots to have something more to offer, something deep, to the point of bordering on the dramatic or even the tragic. I've never made any secret of that. Maybe I'm simply getting old, idk. But taking a look at what I've been feeding on lately, I think this is getting a little out of hand. This realization is something that hit me hard right after I finished reading A little life, some days ago, so this speaks loud, if you know what kind of story it tells... So I'm going to make a list of the things I've been into recently taking this book as a starting point, since I couldn't help but make connections between things, while reading. So if you loved this book (or any of the things I'm about to mention below), I really think you'll love everything else on the list as well!
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Let's start by saying that the themes covered are very heavy and not simple to deal with at all. Some of them can be a trigger for many people (me included), so I won't go into detail, because I don't want to risk belitting anything, but se*ual ab*se, viol*nce, self-harm, pain, suffering, illness, but also love, lots of love…are just some of the main themes of this book. And they intersect very well with those of two manhwa I love: Lost in the Cloud and Pearl boy.
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I saw so much of both Skylar (especially) and Cirrus in Jude. And I admit that I always imagined him to be very similar aesthetically to Skylar. Lost in the Cloud is the first manhwa I ever read in my entire life, and now that I've read quite a few, I can say that I still consider it my favorite; it holds a really special place in my heart. Season 2, in particular, made me really suffer and it's the events of this one that unlocked for me the major parallels with A little life.
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Then we have Pearl boy. Ohhhhh this one. I read this manhwa a short time ago, at the beginning of the summer, and immediately fell in love with it. But the tragedy, from a certain point on, is just too much. Again, Jooha and Jude have a lot in common, unfortunately…. I find it beautiful, though, how, in both stories, both Jooha and Jude found someone who would stand by them no matter what happened and be willing to do anything, really anything, for them.
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Manga-wisely, I cannot fail to mention Kami no fune de nemuru, which I resumed reading just recently. Again, heavy themes? Yes. Obviously. Gay love? Yes. Of course. But here the things get a little bit darker (and no, in case you were wondering, Kei is not the manga version of Skylar and Youichi is not the manga version of Cirrus). (Apart from the aesthetic issue I mentally created for myself) I saw a connection in the way Kei and Jude hide things, the way they lie, their relationship with death and their past self…They're both "damned", in a certain way.
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And last but not least, the usual music advice cannot be missed. This summer, for me, was marked by “Found Heaven,” Conan Gray's latest album. And some of the songs really make me think of A little life. In particular, three of them : Found Heaven: "But you prayed, begged and prayed, Heart unchanged. Don't be scared, little child, You're no demon (you're no demon, don't be frightened now). There's a God in the sky, Don't believe him (don't believe him, gods do love you now)" makes me think about what happened to Jude when he was a child, the way Brother Luke used to speak to him, while "You walk alone into the darkest night, You'll never sleep until you're satisfied, You need love, you need one, You need him" makes me think both to his need of Brother Luke and Willem. Forever with me: ⚠️SPOILER ALERT⚠️: ahhhh... I can't help but think to this all as a sort of letter from Jude to Willem after his death :( ("at least in all my memories") Final fight: again, this one makes me think of what Brother Luke (and Caleb, later) did to Jude.
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offsidekineticist · 1 year ago
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❛ i don’t think i’ve ever seen you smile. ❜ for anyone :3
Hey Arrow! Gonna take a peek into the timeline where Theoven never leaves Cheliax for this one, so we can take a look inside Giliys's messed up little brain before the two get together.
Prompt from this post.
You are a fucking idiot. This isn't news to you, but it's especially relevant right now, when you realize you're feeling angrier than usual because you've never seen your best friend - the guy you are stupidly in love with, no matter how much you tell yourself it'll never fucking happen - crack a smile.
There are a lot of emotions you've never seen on Thay's face, on account of him being a bleachling and just not emoting all that much at all. Rage. Despair. Disgust. You've seen him pleased, but that wasn't worth a smile to Thay - when he's pleased, his face is relaxed, and his chin bobs in this quick short nod.
(You live for those fucking nods, cuz you're a fucking moron)
And you've seen him laugh - well, laugh by Thay standards. Your sense of humor is as warped as the rest you, but for some fucking reason, Thay finds you funny, and when he does, you get a Thay laugh - a short but audible exhale through his nose.
(Those weird little breaths make your day. Like a fucking idiot)
The thing is, you know he fakes it for other people. Other people find his lack of expression "creepy." Because they're stupid. The fact he doesn't bother with that when he's talking to you is a sign of trust, and you treasure that, by Thamir you do -
But you want to see what your friend looks like when experiencing pure joy. No, that ain't it. You want to cause him pure joy. You want to see him smile and know it's because of you.
Here's the part that makes you an idiot: he handed you the opportunity to do that years ago, and you said no.
It was a few months after you first met. You were passing through Brastlewark, so you stopped by the library to say hi, and he asked if you'd like to get dinner together sometime. And you wanted to say yes, because Thay's smart and kind and cute and funny and so far outta your league, and you'd already started daydreaming about his wispy white hair and charcoal gray eyes, and also he'd probably insist on paying because he's the one with a job, and you never say no to free food just on principle -
But getting that close would mean telling him about the Thing, and you know he'd hate you forever the moment he learned about the Thing. Better to just stay friends.
That left you a dilemma: how to turn him down? Cuz you can't say "sorry, can't, cuz then I'd have to tell you the truth about how absolutely shit I am as a person, and you'd never want to see me again." But you also don't want to give him the impression that he's somehow failed to meet your standards (cuz you don't have standards, but if you did he'd have outdone them a hundred times over). But you also -
"I'm straight." Sweet Silent Blade why did you pick that lie?!
It did the trick, of course. He nodded, but with a little crease between his eyebrows (that's his "accepting disappointing news" face) and thanked you for "your forthrightness." Because what else was he going to say? "No you're not"?? Sure, you could think of a few people you'd met who might say that, but not Thay. Even if he suspected you lied, he'd have the good sense to realize you were trying to let him down easy.
You don't regret it, not exactly. Well, you do, but you don't see what else you could've done without telling him about the Thing. But it seems like the longer you know him, the more you wish you could've just gone to dinner with him. Sometimes you think about just asking him out - but even if it was acceptable to do that without discussing the Thing (it's not), it's been years. He's definitely over you by now. Probably wonders what he ever saw in you in the first place, cuz even without the Thing, you're a pretty twisted motherfucker.
But that doesn't change the fact that you love him - or as close to love as your warped heart can manage. Doesn't change the fact that you want to bring him joy.
"You know," you say casually one day, "I don't think I've ever seen you smile."
Thay looks at you with a blank expression. "Well, I must keep some secrets, or you'll grow bored of me."
It's a joke, you're pretty sure - he's rarely completely expressionless, but he is as he delivers his line. It's also the only answer you get, and for the millionth time you wish you could've just said yes.
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rollercoasterwords · 2 years ago
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the thing is. obviously we are all just playing pretend at the end of the day and there has always been interest in smaller side characters + rarepairs + the like, and obviously a large part of fanwork is fucking with canon and strict adherence to singular readings of the source material are just never going to happen. and yes obviously none of it is that serious and people should do whatever they want as long as they're having fun.
however. i do in fact think there is a very valid twofold critique to the haterism of anti-uwuification posting which is that:
1. quite a bit of it seems to be rooted in the impulse to remove moral impurity
like. this is particularly in regards to people taking character who were either morally gray or flat-out bad people in canon and stripping away any of the characteristics that made them Bad to rehabilitate them as Good People, so that it is Okay To Like Them. and i mean it is one thing to want to write a redemption arc, and it's one thing if ur just grabbing a name and turning that character into an oc and plugging them into ur story--because like, yeah, u can do whatever u want. but i do wonder how much of this rehabilitation is coming from this larger concerning impulse to act like characters have to be morally pure and perfect all the time. and i think it's worth reflecting just on a personal level what's driving u to rehabilitate a character. why don't you want to grapple with the ickier parts of their canon characteristics + actions? are you uncomfortable when other people read them as morally impure? if so, why?
2. breaking a character down into a series of specific labels seems to reflect a very odd view of identity
so this is like. i mean i feel like this tends to happen with very small side characters where people will go: here's my list of headcanons!! and then it'll be like. a list of labels -- gender, sexuality, ethnicity, star sign, mental illnesses, etc. which....the mental illness one is a whole other conversation that i'm not gonna get into atm but. to me the prevalence of this sort of "character-building" just makes me a little....wary, i guess. i've talked before about how i think this impulse to break identity down into specific neat labels is not healthy irl, but even beyond that it's just not very good character building! which--again, have fun, do ur thing, but if you genuinely are trying to create compelling characters for a fanfic then what matters isn't a list of identity labels, it's things like what drives the character, what flaws do they have, what relationships matter to them, their worldview--and the context of the story they exist in also matters and fundamentally shapes them, which is why unless you're creating an oc for a specific story a lot of these random side characters just leave a lot of people scratching their heads and asking "why would i ever care about this person?"
i do also think this tendency to just list identity labels for like. random characters can sometimes come off a bit trivializing. things like gender and sexuality and mental illness are not monolithic experiences, even for people who might use the same label; labels really only matter for the way they interact with the world around them and reflect someone's lived experience, which is why if your character exists outside the context of a story these labels oftentimes feel a bit meaningless and just....idk. especially the treating of mental illness as like a quirky personality trait just really rubs me the wrong way.
anyway! at the end of the day i don't think there's anything wrong with taking an interest in side characters and essentially developing them into your own ocs (clearly--look at what i've written lmao), but i do think it's worth reflecting on why you are interested in this character in the first place and i also think it's worth moving away from this sort of label-centered character building + the idea that characters need to be morally pure to like them if you want to actually develop interesting and well-rounded characters for your stories. i also think it's a bit silly when i see people acting as though there is any moral weight behind which characters you choose to focus on (i.e., talking about the girl side characters is Feminist), although that may need to be a different post bc this one is already very long lol
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hanyahlos · 5 months ago
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Overflow Victor Valentine 4★ - Hero Story
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"Researcher Who Can Move Around"
Overflow Victor Valentine 4★ - Hero Story "動けるタイプの研究者"
---
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Gray: Huff~~~
Jay: Haha. You must be exhausted, huh?
Jay: You did a good job. You should go back to your room and rest well. In time like these, I would recommend filling the bathtub with hot water.
Gray: N-no ..... I'm not that tired...
Jay: Is that so? Then what made you sighing so deeply?
Gray: It's just... I realized I wasn't that big of a deal after all...
Gray: Now that I've been able to participate in Oscar-san's training more and more, I've started to feel this way even more...
Jay: I see. But I think it can't be helped to feel that way when they're training for 'Major Hero' promotion.
Gray: I-I understand that much, but...
Jay: Well, maybe the reason why Gray feel a stronger gap is because you are a different type compared to Oscar or Asch.
Gray: Type...?
Jay: Oscar and Asch are the type who dominantly push through with their physical strength, right? There's nothing outstanding about you in that regard.
Gray: Ugh...
Jay: My bad, I said it wrongly. I don't mean to say you're bad. Gray has his own type—
???: Ah, was it still in use?
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Jay: Hmm? Victor?
Victor: I have reservation from 4pm.
Jay: Sorry, Sorry. We will go out soon.
Gray: Vi-victor-san is going to train...?
Victor: Yes, I am.
Gray: I, I see... Of course you are. You're a hero after all... I'm sorry...
Jay: It's not strange to think like that. Victor has the impression of always being holed up in a lab doing research. It's been a long time since I've seen him in that suit.
Victor: It's a fact that it's been a while since I've personally train.
Jay: What a turn of events.
Victor: It's for a research. Nova is working on improving our inner suit, and then asked me to try on the sample.
Victor: He told me he isn't the type of researcher who could move, so he want someone like me who can move around...
Victor: It's strange that most researchers in the world were someone who couldn't move.
Jay: Haha, researchers who can move around must be very useful ♪
Victor: It wouldn't be a matter of asking another hero... Though, well, I also wanted to move my body once in a while.
Gray: Are North's rookies taught martial arts by Victor-san?
Victor: I have taught them to an extent.
Victor: We have Marion, and he's the type of person who likes to be in charge, so I usually leave it to him.
Victor: When Marion is away for some reason, then I'll take his place...
Gray: Hmm... I wonder how Victor-san's fight...?
Jay: Gray, are you interested?
Gray: !? Oh no, I said it out loud...
Victor: I don't mind if you want to watch my training. It's nothing special though.
Gray: Huh? I-is it really okay...!?
Jay: Nice. Well then, I'll take your offer ♪
Victor: I didn't say it toward you... Well, that's fine, since we have a limited amount of time—
---
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Gray: —Amazing. Victor-san is also good at martial arts...
Victor: It's not that I'm good at it. Compared to other heroes, like Jay, I don't even come close.
Jay: That's humbling. The level setting for sparring robot should be the same as when I use it, right?
Victor: Overall, yes, but the details are different.
Victor: Jay's attack target are basically random. He likes to start attacking and determine the opponent's type while dealing with it.
Victor: In order words, you are conducting training for the purpose of practicing your strategy. Is that right?
Jay: O, oh... I guess that's true if you think about it. I just think it's more fun and rewarding if I attack in no order.
Victor: On the other hand, I like to specify my attack depending on the situation. In this training, the setting is completely physical.
Victor: I intentionally set it that way because I'm conscious to my compatibility with power types is not very good.
Victor: Each time, I would study my own attributes and conduct training to strengthen areas that I feel are lacking.
Gray: I see...
Jay: I honestly respect you put that much thought into your training.
Victor: I think everyone would be thinking the same.
Victor: I'm still a researcher at heart. So there seems to be a tendency to approach training in a similar way researcher do things.
Victor: First, set a goal, and then try different way to reach it.
Victor: Once achieved, practice repeatedly. Repeat the pattern over and over until it becomes ingrained in you.
Victor: Only then will you be able to apply it in practice. In my cases, though.
Jay: The number of such patterns is frighteningly large.
Jay: That means, you has been training quite a lot... I can't imagine when on earth you had such a free time.
Victor: When I was younger, I spend a lot of time for it.
Victor: Originally, I was also the type of researcher who couldn't move. Since I aspire to be a hero, I think I have to work hard as well...
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Jay: Haha, Victor too is also a hard worker.
Victor: Well, I didn't have the talent nor sense like you.
Victor: You are also different from simple power types as they clearly have weakness.
Victor: In Jay's case, he doesn't have any weaknesses. And if there are some, he would overcomes them at the last minute...
Victor: That's born with blessing do for you.
Jay: Oi, oi, what happen all of a sudden? It tickles me to be praised by you.
Victor: I'm not praising you, I'm just trying to describe your type.
Jay: Oh, I see...
Jay: Well, then Gray. Going back to what I said earlier, I think you're similar to Victor.
Gray: Eh? ...I'm with Victor-san?
Jay: You're also a hard worker and eager to learn, doesn't it sounds like you have a researcher's temperament like Victor?
Jay: Once you learn Victor's training method, you might find it useful.
Gray: That... Might be too presumptuous... But, I'm really interested in Victor-san's training methods...
Jay: How is it, Victor? Can you please tell him more about your training method?
Victor: Hmm... Me and Gray have similar type, huh?
Victor: From my point of view, it's more likely...
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Jay & Gray: ?
Victor: Well, I shouldn't say things that have no basis.
Victor: I got it. If you like my method, I'll let you know. Just by moving it will also count as a test for this inner suit anyway.
Gray: Woah...! Thank you very much, Victor-san!
Jay: That's great! Okay, I'll also listen closely ♪
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Victor: And why even you...
---
Translator Note;
Hello, thank you for reading this translation! English is not my first language but I want to practice here. Feel free to reach me through twt if there's something I can fix!
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nabateaprodigy · 1 year ago
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Please may I have a Fairy tail scenario of when you (Gray's younger twin brother *you know the rest about him including that he is a kind young man and he is a ice mage like his brother..and he is slightly stronger than Gray at ice mage and Juvia was now his wife*) were asked the awkward question about where babies came from and obviously you spat out your tea at your son's (Greige Fullbuster is your son) unexpected question and you were not telling your six year old son where babies came from literally..it was understandably awkward considering how the hell you were going to explain where babies came from to your son..Greige was understandably confused about it when you and your wife (Juvia Lockser is your wife) told him that Greige was going to be a big brother when Juvia found out that she was pregnant and you two were going to have a daughter (you and Juvia told Greige the pregnancy news yesterday).
Your loving wife, Juvia Lockser thankfully rescued you from an awkward conversation because you were getting rather flustered trying to explain in a way that was appropriate to a six year old boy (you knew exactly how babies are made but you are definitely not telling Greige that!).
You and Juvia are adults and married happily..and Juvia is now Juvia Fullbuster because she took your surname.
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*the little boy in the image is Greige Fullbuster*
Papa Where do Babies Come From?
Series: Fairy Tail.
Characters: Juvia Lockser and Greige.
Genre: Fluff.
Proofread: Yes.
Notes: Hmm don't really like how this turned out honestly. I mean I don't think it's awful but I think I could have done better. Also Greige going to be a little OOC here. I've read the 100 Year Quest manga but just couldn't get his personality right here so sorry about that.
Reader: Male.
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Today was just like any other day when you woke you saw your lovely wife Juvia. No matter how many times something like this happens you'll never get tried of the sight. You love nothing more than waking up seeing and Juvia laying next to you.
You put your hand on her cheek just admiring her as she slept. You could look at this sight forever and not get tired of seeing it. However, even though you wanted to do you knew you had to get started with your day.
"Juvia it's morning time to wake up." You spoke as you kissed Juvia on the cheek. Juvia then begin to wake up and you saw her beautiful blue eyes that you love so much.
"Good morning darling how did you sleep?" Juvia spoke rubbing her eyes as she had not fully woken up yet. "I slept well as always you know I sleep great when you're here with me." You spoke In response to her.
"That's good darling I'm glad you slept well. I suppose we should start our day now right?" Both you and Juvia now sitting up in bed and hold her. "Wish I could stay like this forever but we have to start our day. Greige might be upset with us if we decided to stay in bed all day."
Juvia laughed. "You're right he would be upset tho I would to see that cute face of his when he gets mad," Juvia spoke as you both got out and started getting dressed.
Juvia had finished getting before you so she went to check on Greige to see if he was awake or not. While Juvia was doing that you went to the kitchen and started to enjoy your food along with some time.
After some time your son Greige came into the kitchen and it looked like he had something on his mind. "Hey buddy what's up? You look like you've got something you want to ask me." You said to Greige as you drank some of your tea.
"Papa, where do babies come from?" Greige asked and you immediately spat out your tea and began coughing. "Papa, what's wrong?" Greige asked wondering why you had such a reaction to his question.
Your mind drew a blank as to how you should go about answering his question. You sat there confused unsure of what to say to him. But just then Juvia entered and saved you from the awkward situation!
"Oh, Greige you're a bit too young to know about that. But I promise I'll tell you when you're older. But I do have something to tell you. " Juvia spoke looking at her son happily. "What is it, Mama?" Greige said curious thinking about what his mother was about to tell him.
You stood up and walked over to Juvia as you kissed her and wrapped one of your arms around her. "You're going to be a big brother! Soon we'll be introducing a new person to this family your little sister!"
Juvia spoke happily that she could now finally tell Greige the news. "Me? A big brother?" Greige said in surprise to his mother.
"That's right buddy soon you'll have a little sister. You'll be a big brother to her make sure to keep her safe okay?" You said to your son.
Greige smiled running up to hug the both of you. "Yes, I promise I'll be the best big brother ever and protect my little sister!"
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skydigiblogs · 7 months ago
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oughhh i was plagued by ghost game related thoughts today. this is messy and disorganized and a lot so don't mind me gbdsfhgbdjfg
it's been like half a year or so since i finished watching it so this is mostly unprompted and like
i do kind of wonder what would have happened with ghost game if instead of a bigger focus on purely pick up and go scooby doo shit, they were willing to tell an overarching story with the elements they had
i think i enjoyed it so much if only because it gave us something we hadn't seen much of to that point (that i'm now realizing is one of those things appmon heavily inspired in GG), that being digimon affecting technology in complex ways
(that's to say, not just bricking computers like giant magnets or making binary flash on the screen to ominous messages like makuramon does in tamers)
but like also digimon having more interactions with humans in general? just kind of hanging out and living in the human world? yeah the field exists and digimon can bworp in and out of being visible to humans without VBs, but they also live in a setting where they can mostly get away with just going "no yeah i'm just a very advanced hologram, dw about it :)"
i also refuse to get over the fact that gammamon is like, canonically plural, and i really wish we had more time with gulus after the finale ep reveals about him and the GRB shit.
also, i do wonder if maybe the series shot itself in the foot by not knowing what it wanted to do, plot wise? it gave us expectations in the first episode as an audience--- suggesting big and strange things to be delivered, and didn't seem to know how to really deliver on them while also trying to be that variety of scooby doo shit that doesn't have to have a throughline plot (aka, setting up a mystery inc style story when it's got a stated goal to be more like the original series)
i was still using reddit at the time GG started, and i remember a lot of people really wanting to hype it up as "the next tamers," especially after they saw the tone and structure of the first episode. in general, i wonder if high expectations put more scrutiny on GG than it might have otherwise gotten.
(this of course isn't to say that there's criticism to be had for GG. i mean i just said i personally have beef with its lack of narrative commitment. i'm just wondering if maybe some people got a little too excited to see a series that met the lofty nostalgia of something like tamers.)
anyways, idk, there's not really anywhere i'm going with this one, i just had some idle thoughts at work today about this series.
go read the gray matter ghost game fancomic or something (no i really have no clue why ghost game is on my mind, really)
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azpaintingltd · 1 year ago
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Transform Your Home with the Help of a House Painting Company
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A fresh coat of paint can transform your home.
Painting your home is one of the best ways to transform it. A fresh coat of paint can add color, style and personality to your space--and it's also an important investment in keeping your home protected from the elements. It's no wonder that people often choose to repaint their homes before selling them or renting them out!
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kabbal · 2 years ago
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HI, Kabbal! I was wondering if you could a Jaydick relationship reveal headcanons?
Ohoho. Now this has comedy potential.
When Dick told Donna and Wally he was 'kind of seeing someone', they braced themselves for the worst. Because let's face it : Dick's taste in partners has been in a downward spiral for a good while. "It may seem a bit weird to you but I'm actually serious about them." Dick says. "Oh?" Donna asks. "Who is it?" She's mentally running through potential candidates - maybe Slade Wilson or some other up-to-no-good fucker who's going to trample all over Dick's heart. "It's Jason." Dick says, and Wally exclaims :"Oh thank God ! We thought it was going to be way worse."
"I kissed Dick yesterday." Jason says. Artemis squints at him, then goes back to polishing her axe. "Tongue ?" "Yes." "Good."
"Dick," Jason says, looking at the computer like every pixel on the screen is insulting him. "Why is are you reading a wikihow article on 'How to introduce a boyfriend to children' ?" "Well," Dick says. "At some point, I'm going to have to tell Damian about us. And I want it to go well, so..." Jason shakes his head: "Please tell me that doesn't make the brat my step-something." Dick offers him an apologetic smile. "Okay. I won't tell you." "Oh, don't get all smartass on me. It's not a good look." "Liar. You love how I look, anyday, anytime." "...Fuck, I do."
Jason knocks on the small wooden door, a small tray with two Darjeeling tea cups balanced on top. It's only a few seconds before the door opens, revealing Alfred, still freakishly put together in a nightshirt and cap. "Well, goodnight, Master Jason. I see you have brought tea. Is something the matter ?" Jason swallows. "Hello, Alfie. I... Can we talk? I want to ask for a... blessing of some sorts." Alfred's eyebrows briefly reach his nightcap. "Well, certainly. I do feel we should head in, then. No proper blessing can be given in an hallway."
Dick knocks on a small wooden door, a small tray with two Earl Gray tea cups balanced on top. When the door opens, he's surprised to see Jason standing in the treshold, with Alfred sitting inside the room on an armchair in his nightclothes. "Goodnight, Master Dick. I suppose you too are in need of a blessing?" Dick has never seen anyone sip tea in a more amused manner.
"On a scale from one to ten," Jason asks. "How pissed would you be if I dated one of your exes." Roy stops working on his arrowhead to glance at him from under his baseball cap. "Depends. Are you talking about mine or Kori's ?" The alien princess flies down to them, a curious light in her green eyes. "I would not be angry that you are courting someone I had known, Jason. Although it may appear to Roy as an attack against the brother code." "She makes an excellent point, Jaybird. What about the bro code?" "You're really gonna bring up the bro code when you slept with Dick's ex?" "We're not talking about Dick, loverboy." "I mean... we kinda are." "OH MY GOD, YOU'RE DATING DICK?!" "Oh, what a great news ! I am very happy for you, Jason !" "THE BRO CODE IS NO MORE."
"Hey, Dami ! Do you have a moment? I want to talk to you ab-" "Speak no more, Richard. I do hope you do not think me incompetent enough to not uncover your dalliance with Todd. As it seems to have put you in an agreeable mood these last few months, I will offer my reluctant approbation. However, do not let Todd mistake this for endorsement. He still must prove his worth to me before I may be willing to let him ask for your hand." "Aw. Come here, let me thank you for your blessing." "Unhand me immediatly Richard."
"I'm in love with someone." Jason says. "You know what love is, don't you?" Bizarro nods gravely. "Me knows. Love is Red Him. Red Her too." "Exactly. So, I'm in love. You met him once, at the circus. His name is Dick." "If Red Him loves Dick Him, me love Dick Him also." Jason smiles and pats the big, blue, shoulder. "Thanks, Biz'. It means a lot."
"Do you think Bruce knows ? About us ?" Dick says. His fingers are pressing in the dip between two muscles on Jason's thighs. "I don't know." Jason says. "It's a tight race between his undying obsession for surveillance and his everlasting unwillingness to see anything that goes against his worldview." Dick snorts. "Maybe we should do the nasty right under one of his cameras. Or on top of the Batmobile. He couldn't ignore it then." "I'm gonna act like like you didn't just remind me of one of my greatest teenage fantasies three inches awayfrom my cock and say that it wouldn't work. He would just repress the memory. And then ask Babs to wipe out the tape." "You're so mean. He absolutely would, the old bastard."
Dick walks down to the cave, a waffel in his mouth. He strolls to his bike and is surprised to find a note on the saddle. Please don't fuck on the batmobile. He absolutely would make me wipe out the tape. -Barbara.
They don't fuck on the batmobile (yet), but they do fuck on Jason's bike, grinding like teenagers and kissing until they feel like drowning. The comms are muted, the alley is quiet Jason feels like fire under his leather jacket. Dick is driving him mad with hisses and moans and teasing words : "Big bad Red Hood caught a bird -Ah! Mh, I wonder what he's going to do to poor old me." Jason wants to devour him but there's a loud noise above them and an even louder: "DON'T MIND ME! JUST PASSIN' THROUGH! KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK!" Jason winces, and Dick laughs. "Well, it's nice to know even Harley approves." "What would she know ?" Jason snarls. "She's got a shit taste in men." Dick nuzzles his cheek : "She got better. Now, let's listen to the lady. Kiss me again?" Jason does.
"Why does Harley Quinn think you're boning Jason?" Stephanie asks, and Dick doesn't spit his drink but Tim does. "What the fuck, Stephanie?!" He says with milk dripping from his chin. "The kitchen is a peace zone!" "That was a perfectly innocuous question, Timothy." Dick can feel the argument brewing, so he puts an end to it (or rather, starts a different argument. "I'm not boning Jason." He puts his glass firmly on the counter. "I'm dating him and making sweet sweet love to him." Steph is laughing. Tim is howling. "EMOTIONAL DAMAGE, MAN!"
Jason is out on patrol in Park Row, checking on the working girls, when a window opens above him. An old lady's head appears and she whoops : "Hood, dear boy! Is it true that you made an honest man of the Nightwing boy?" "Maybe I did." Jason drawls. "Or maybe he made an honest man outta me." The girls around him start hollering and patting him on the shoulder and Jason knows that by the end of the night, all of Park Row will know - if it doesn't already.
They're coming back to the cave after a busy night, all of them bruised and bloody. Jason is limping and Dick offered his shoulder as a crutch. Alfred is doing rounds, distributing painkillers and first aid kits. Dick's hand mindlessly strokes Jason's hair, until he gives in and kisses the white strands plastered against his sweaty forehead. There is no gasps in the room, no offended cries. From the corner of his eyes, Dick can see Alfred tending to a wound on Duke's head, Cass and Stephanie huddled together, Barbara and Tim already planning their next step, and Bruce- striding towards them, a pinched look on his face. "Nightwing. Red Hood. Vitals?" "Jason's leg took a hit," Dick says so Jason doesn't have to. "Other than that, we're both good." Bruce nods. "Good. I am... happy. That you are good. The both of you." And then he strides back to the computer without a second glance. "He so fucking awkward." Jason says. Dick nods, and plants a kiss to his lips next.
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funkymbtifiction · 2 years ago
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I always got a 1ish vibe from you also. You reflect on your behavior, yes, but reflection is different than self-analysis and anxiety; it's like you're trying to find a deeper meaning, a moral rightness of behavior in yourself or others to measure by.
Valid. That's why several friends and other typists consider me to be a 612. But I said I wasn't going to talk about tritype anymore. :P
I suspect some element of Fi is involved as well, because I intend to live as a person of integrity, and that involves a lot of self-reflection, analysis, and beating myself up when I fail to live up to my own high standard. I can be critical of others who compromise their morals and angry at myself for not standing up for what I believe is right, out of a desire to avoid being attacked for it. I do reflect on my behavior all the time, and my default is to detach from my emotions and attempt to intellectualize them. Scrutinize them. Figure out why I am doing this, what my motive is, why someone else would do this, what their motive is. I seek intellectual understanding above all. I shut down my emotional or gut reactions to go into head-mode. Why am I doing this? Why are they doing this? What does it all mean?
To further your argument, if you read any of my novels, fantasy or otherwise, purity of intent and ethics are a huge recurring theme; I love to put my characters into situations where they must choose between their integrity and the easier path. I love morally ambiguous characters and to explore them without judgment, but I want the good guys to be above reproach (at least, to make the right decision most of the time) and of high personal integrity. Either my hero is morally gray and on the path to redemption, or he has a strong personal character. I'm also drawn to 1s in fiction out of admiration for their integrity (like Elijah in The Vampire Diaries / The Originals).
I've read how hurt you've been when others have been dismissive, moved away or acted in ways related to behavior, rather than a sense of safety. You can't make sense of WHY they would do that. Your own sense of self, of your own morals, is intact. A 6 is implicated and affected by others' actions; its integral to them.
I think it's 6ish though in the sense that I no longer feel safe with them. Among like-minded people who share my beliefs or morals, I am safe to share my strong opinions, but when that dynamic shifts, I can't trust them anymore to be receptive to me. I don't mind being the only person in a group to hold X opinion, but I'm also not going to share it for fear of being attacked. I won't compromise me for you and I am not okay with a lot of things/behaviors. In matters of morals and ethics, I always know what the right thing to do is, but when it comes to the rest of life, I founder around full of self-doubt and fear.
The WHY is important. I ask questions constantly to try and make sense of people and their dynamics and decisions. But most of the 1s I know just say "nope, that's wrong." They don't then intellectualize and tear it apart in an attempt to understand the why of it, or what would make someone do that awful thing. Gut types seem solid in their "no," it's instinctual and I question and measure and weigh arguments and read conflicting information to come to a consensus, and half the time I conclude there is no solid truth in certain things, it's all a matter of opinion, and go on about my day.
This is just a very slight hunch also, but there's something Hermione esque about you, and you have always had an affinity for her also. Certainly she's anxious - but in a conscientious way, not in a 6 way. And from what I recall, you briefly considered her to change from a 1 to a 6? I wondered if that might be your own type being attracted to and pulling away from 1?
Maybe. I like her the most because she was the most sensible and made many decisions that I would (not shoving SPEW down people's throats, though) in terms of obeying the rules and keeping her friends safe. Turning over Harry's new broom to a teacher for investigation was the rational decision (and then they got mad at her, and I got annoyed at them for being stupid about it, lol). I put a lot of emphasis on being rational. This could also support the 612/triple super-ego theory that some people are operating off of about me...
Thanks for your thoughts. It's fun reading them, and is giving me a nice break in-between rewriting massive sections of my WIP. :)
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confused-as-all-hell · 3 years ago
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cym as quotes?
@saltyfortunes as “why mortals bloomed like flowers and crumbled to nothing? and how everything they once were, the spark within them, could be extinguished so completely yet the world did not collapse under the weight of so much pain and grief" from ariadne // "it is a common saying that women are delicate creatures, anything that may be crushed in a moment's carelessness. if i had ever believed it, i no longer did" from circe // "be a little kinder than you have to" from we were liars
@thehalfbloodfreak as “what about the nobodies and the nothings, the invisible girls? we learn to hold our heads as if we wear crowns. we learn to wring magic from the ordinary. when the world owed you nothing, you demanded something of it anyway” from six of crows // "'what are you?' 'to define is to limit'" from the picture of dorian gray // "i wonder if anyone is really happy. i hope they are. i really hope they are" from the perks of being a wallflower
@investmentofmyheart as “’i will go,’ he said. the rosy gleam of his lip, the fevered green of his eyes. envious death would drink his blood and grow young again. ’will you come with me?’ he asked. and perhaps in some other life I could have refused, made him face his choice alone. but not in this one. ’yes,’ i whispered” from the song of achilles // “you can’t quantify humanity. you can’t measure it—not the way you mean to. people are passionate and flawed and fallible" from if we were villains // “i would have come for you. and if i couldn't walk, i'd crawl to you, and no matter how broken we were, we'd fight our way out together-knives drawn, pistols blazing. because that's what we do. we never stop fighting” from crooked kingdom
@iambecomeyourvillain as “there are nights when she cannot sleep, moments when she lies awake and dreams of dying. but then she wakes, and sees the pink and orange dawn against the clouds, or hears the lament of a lone fiddle, the music and the melody, and remembers there is such beauty in the world. and she does not want to miss it—any of it” from the invisible life of addie larue // “you're the person i don't need to explain myself to - not when it matters. you see everything I am” from house of blood and earth // "but the truth is, also, simply this: love is indomitable" from red white and royal blue
@twelve-kinds-of-trouble as "please never forget the sun rises and sets on your smile. at least, to me it does. you are the only thing on this planet worth worshipping" from the seven husbands of evelyn hugo // “but, you know, that feeling? when you wake up in the morning and you have somebody to think about? somewhere for hope to go? it's good. even when it's bad, it's good" from one last stop // “you told me once that one lifetime of human love was worth the loss” from ariadne
@wafflesandschemingfaces as “you aren't a flower, you're every blossom in the wood blooming at once. you are a tidal wave. you're a stampede. you are overwhelming" from crooked kingdom // "kiss me. kiss me until i'm sick of it" from the folk of the air // "i want to be a body for you. i want to chase you, i want to be eluded and teased and adored; i want to be defeated and victorious—i want you to cut me, sharpen me. i want to drink tea beside you in ten years or a thousand. i veer rhapsodic; my prose purples. and yet i don’t think you’ll laugh, or if you do, the laughter would delight me" from this is how you lose the time war
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magalidragon · 3 years ago
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killing time | a Jonerys drabble
This is for the Anon who suggested we revisit the racing beans from that one fic I wrote where they were racecar drivers and it ended up far angstier than intended 🤣 Also uses prompt from @youwerenevermine “you’re an idiot”/“yes but I’m your idiot.” Ooooh and it is smutty 🤭
"I can't believe you think this is going to work."
"It will work. Because I'm a genius."
That was a little much, Dany thought, hoisting herself onto the tool bench in the garage, swinging her feet back and forth, watching the handsome specimen of her husband bent in half in the engine of the Direwolf, his fine, tight ass wiggling in his grease-stained coveralls, which should have made him look like he was wearing a potato sack, but were pulling in all the right places. He'd tied the arms around his hips, his white t-shirt underneath stained with grease, sweat, motor oil, and if she was not mistaken-- a large swipe of chocolate from the cake their daughter had been eating before he put her to bed for her naptime.
He moved some more, shifting on his feet and she bit her lower lip, checking the clock hanging askew on the wall. They had a meeting in about two hours, and were killing time just lounging around the garage. It made her think of when they were teenagers, spending all their time in and around the garage, making messes and letting someone else clean it up.
Now they cleaned things up themselves. He also cleaned up nicely himself. He wiggled again and she wondered if he was doing this on purpose. She shifted uncomfortably on the bench, sitting on her hands instead of doing anything that might get her in trouble. He was <i>working</i>, as he liked to stress. He didn’t want distractions when he was working.
Although working wasn’t an apt enough word for what he was doing. Fucking up a perfectly good vehicle. That’s what he was doing.
Now he was adding some sort of extra filter which he claimed would give the Direwolf extra air flow, boosting its acceleration. It made no sense to her. Plus, he'd screwed with the fins on the back, which was <i>not</i> his job, that was Gendry's as their aerodynamics expert, but Jon knew better, always, he said.
Except for her.
She wrinkled her nose, when he pulled out from the engine and then spun around, dropping down onto the other side to scoot underneath the vehicle. Exasperated, she groaned. "What are you doing now?"
"Checking the fuel pump, I think it’s jacked."
"You're making shit up." He hummed underneath and kicked his feet around. After a few minutes of clanking around, she couldn't stand it any longer and climbed down, peering into the engine, disgusted at the wires he had crisscrossing everywhere. It made no sense. It was like the inside of his head. She scowled at him, when he emerged, swatting her ass lightly with the dirty rag in his hands. She rolled her eyes. "You're an idiot."
"Ah, but I'm your idiot."
Be that as it may, he was screwing up a perfectly good working engine because he couldn't just leave things alone. "That's not getting you anywhere, give me that." She swiped the wrench from him and crawled up onto the Direwolf's fender, small and spry enough to really get into the engine cavity. She made sure to wiggle her butt, in her tight jeans, just enough to tease him, while also kicking up her foot.
The mess he’d created was atrocious. She could not believe this chaos of an engine. Disgusted, she made a derisive snort. “I take it back, you aren’t an idiot.”
“Aye?”
“Aye.” She climbed out and threw one of the fuel injectors she had just removed at him, as he scowled. She tilted her face up to his, smirking. “You’re a moron.”
“Is that not the same?”
“Moron is worse to me. Idiot implies you have some sense of awareness of what you did, you just did it stupidly.”
He wagged the fuel injector at her. “This is perfectly fine!”
“It’s corroded!”
The fuel injector flew over his shoulder, after he tossed it and he grabbed her hips, hoisting her up onto the car’s side, tilting her back over the fiberglass to the roof, growling. “You’re impossible.”
She snapped her teeth on his bottom lip, groaning. “You are.”
“No you.”
“You!”
The next thing she knew they were over each other, his mouth hot on her sweaty neck, pulse racing against his tongue. She moaned for more, needy, grinding her hips up into his and scratched her nails down his shoulders, pushing them under his t-shirt sleeves to get to his bare skin.
“Jon,” she groaned, his palms under her arse to lift her higher against the car, while she furiously pulled at his coveralls. He kissed her, silencing her protests, tongue spearing into her mouth and she nipped at him, her fingers easing into his briefs to free him and thumb at his cock, fondling the thick, velvet length, hardening to steel in her hands.
He pulled away, whining impatiently. “What time is it?” he panted, flicking the tab at her jeans, leaning sideways to keep her upright against the envie with his body while he worked the denim and her lace bikinis over her hip.
Doesn’t matter, she thought, busying herself with kissing him again. She loved him, loved him so much, it was hard to wrap her mind around how they had been willing to go their separate ways for so long before coming together again.
She gasped when he pulled away and latched his mouth over her nipple through her tank’s thin cotton, the competing sensations blinding her. She lifted higher and he thrust into her hand. She was drenched, cunt pulsing, and she lined him up, sliding her cunt along his cock, the head bumping her clit. She moaned softly and knocked her head against the car hood behind her.
He pushed into her easily, filling and stretching, smothering her with his body and mouth. She canted her hips, encouraging him to move, and clutched his arms. He found her hand with his and squeezed, joining them at her thigh, which was hiked up over his hip, the coveralls slapping against their thighs, zipper clanking and her jeans awkwardly bunched near her knees, the stretch denim stretching to its limits.
They had done this more times than she could count, fucking in garages and in and on cars and gods she loved it. She moaned his name and tore her nails at his arm while squeezing his hand. He grunted into her shoulder, name a breath on his lips and then she was coming, encouraging him with her until they were shattering, her cry strangled and her name a shout on his lips.
“Jon,” she sighed, feet falling to the floor, loose and limber. She hummed into his neck, kissing his pulse.
He tilted his face down and kissed her, slowly, reverently. She smiled lazily. It was so nice and comfortable afterward. She met his gaze, loving and sleepy, gray eyes blown out to black. “You’re still an idiot,” she murmured.
Jon laughed and arched his brow, about to reply when they froze, hearing a door banging from somewhere near. “Uh…”
“Jon! Dany! Where are you? We have that sponsorship meeting today and I don’t want to go can I stay with Laena?” It was Arya, bellowing through the house.
They cursed, hurriedly righting themselves as best as they could. Dany winced, squeezing her legs together uncomfortably. “Arya? What are you doing here?”
“We have that thing!” She pushed open the door and stepped in, scowling immediately. “What are you doing?”
“Nothing,” they said at the same time.
Arya made a face. “Ew you both are gross. Were you fucking?” She didn’t wait and gagged. “Nevermind don’t tell me…” she trailed off distracted at the engine. She bowled, leaping for it. “Jon! What did you do!?”
At the same time, from the monitor on the table beside her, Laena began babbling, awake from her nap. Dany sighed, patting Jon’s cheek. “My idiot,” she murmured and kissed him, before skirting away to leave him to argue with Arya over what he’d done to the car.
All she knew was when it was ready to drive, it would be ready and she’d trust whatever he did. Even if it made zero sense. She winked at him when he caught her gaze across the garage and he made a face.
She laughed, skipping off to get their daughter and clean up. They had a race to go prep for.
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nyerus · 2 years ago
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Hi Nyerus! I hope you're doing so well. I thought about asking about this on Twitter but I felt like this was maybe a safer spot to do so 😆 I personally love Starember's art but I'm also a white person with light eyes so... I guess I wondered about what your opinion was about the discussion of Starember whitewashing it as the panels are coming along. Like Hua Cheng has blue eyes in the birthday art.
I don't mean this to be judgy or accusatory or anything so I sincerely hope it doesn't come across as bitchy or anything like that. I just have had conflicting feelings today. Anyway, if you feel like answering this, yay, and if you don't, please don't feel pressured to! I hope you're having a great Chongus birthday week! Take care 💛
Hi there anon!
So I'm speaking as a South Asian with quite dark brown skin, but that isn't much to do with "credentials" about this matter. Just putting it out there so no one thinks I'm brushing off these types of issues, because I am someone who is directly affected by both racism by white/white-passing people, as well as colorism in my own communities and even family.
Getting to the point, I don't see how it is whitewashing per se when Hua Cheng noticbly has more tan skin, it's just him having light colored eyes. Which, as we've seen before, STARember likes to play around with characters eye color a lot just for effect. (Think about Pei Ming having magenta eyes lol.) People who have dark skin like myself can and do have light colored eyes. I have those genes running in my own family (though didn't inherit them lol), for example, and it's just not as uncommon as you'd think. Sequestering such characteristics as "white" is troublesome for a variety of reasons that I'm sure I don't have to get into.
A friend also pointed out to me that it looks very much like a depiction based on non-Han ethnic groups, which definitely makes sense given that Hua Cheng was low-key meant to be of a mixed ethnicity based on what MXTX said. Moreover, as I've seen others remark on it, wolves are kind of stereotypically know for having those bright blue eyes, so the first thing I thought about was that, too. So it could very well be a mix of these two things leading to him being drawn with more tan skin and light colored eyes. Regardless, I personally did not immediately think "whitewashing" when I saw this art. At the end of the day, it's a Chinese artist drawing a Chinese character, and Chinese fans are able to speak up for themselves if need be, if they feel there's whitewashing happening.
It's fine to feel complicated about stuff. I certainly am over several things from STARember, as well as the manhua at large, and the donghua alike. And for a bit of a example about the potential whitewashing thing, Xie Lian is literally depicted with brown hair and hazel/gold eyes in the donghua, just as a reminder. Ling Wen also has blue eyes and gray hair. And those weren't fun AU one-offs, it was a conscious art decision for the whole character design, yet there is no one getting up in arms about "whitewashing" there. I like those depictions just because they're cool, and it's not atypical to see that in fantasy works anyway. Others don't like it, and their reasons are all fine. There are also several fan artists who regularly draw Xie Lian with rather dark skin, more than just tanned, but we do not lambast them or anything. Things like that make some other people uncomfortable, including PoCs, and that's valid on their part.
Yes, there's absolutely still a discussion to be had about the widespread issues of colorism in Asian society and such. There's even been great discussions on racist depictions within the novel itself on MXTX's part and so on. Being that I've been pulled aside at the airport for "random screening" multiple times (😐 like lol) as the only brown person in a crowd, I absolutely cringed at the depiction in the novel of the Ban Yue people, for example. It was disheartening to read. And yet we still enjoy this novel as a whole while acknowledging there's troublesome parts. This is similar to the depiction of actual South Asians in other danmei being, in a word, "ugh." Assigning huge societal issues to a few creators -- especially ones in marginalized communities -- is turning a blind eye to the actual source of those issues. Not that we should sit and do nothing, but as they say, fandom really is not activism. It only serves as a way to feel good without actually doing anything.
Real life and real people are complicated and messy, and expecting them to be completely free of any issues -- especially when those issues are societal -- before we "let ourselves" enjoy things is frankly kind of dangerous. It's how we get rabid fans who idolize people to an unhealthy amount and think they can do no wrong, and also how we dehumanize creators to turn them into boogeymen despite not knowing them at all. The phrase "all your faves are problematic" is true. All your content is also flawed because everyone has underlying prejudices that take years or decades to unlearn and unpack. By everyone I mean everyone. And that's okay, because that's how it is, and we have to be mindful of it. Don't idolize creators -- enjoy their works and go, if you like it. Now, if creators are intentionally causing harm, and welding influence and power to do so, that is one thing. But again, we are talking about niche creators in niche fields, who aren't even paid well and aren't active on social media. It's no surprise why they are singled out, given that they are much easier targets than bigger fish, for people who otherwise feel helpless in their everyday lives to make/affect societal change. I get it, because I used to be on that side of the fence.
Additionally, it's really important to keep in mind that groups are not a monolith. What I may enjoy as a South Asian, other South Asians and brown folks may not. This goes for anything and any media, quite frankly. And it's not possible to enjoy media in a totally "clean" way, and anyone who says it is absolutely has skeletons in their own closet. The goalposts will always move. Guilting people into displaying their morality based on their media consumption has become, in itself, problematic. I don't want to get too much further into it on this blog, though. I've said too much already!
Listen to what others have to say on the matter, especially if it's from a group you are not a part of, and make your decisions based on what you feel is correct. Keep in mind that we are talking about queer art about fictional queer characters, here. Not about real people, or over creators who have any significant power. Anon, I don't want to tell you how to feel. I just want to say that you don't have to internalize everything and feel guilty because you're afraid another person on the internet is going to judge you or something.
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