#i want to be clear that i do not mean that derogatorily though

[skydigiblogs]

oughhh i was plagued by ghost game related thoughts today. this is messy and disorganized and a lot so don't mind me gbdsfhgbdjfg

it's been like half a year or so since i finished watching it so this is mostly unprompted and like

i do kind of wonder what would have happened with ghost game if instead of a bigger focus on purely pick up and go scooby doo shit, they were willing to tell an overarching story with the elements they had

i think i enjoyed it so much if only because it gave us something we hadn't seen much of to that point (that i'm now realizing is one of those things appmon heavily inspired in GG), that being digimon affecting technology in complex ways

(that's to say, not just bricking computers like giant magnets or making binary flash on the screen to ominous messages like makuramon does in tamers)

but like also digimon having more interactions with humans in general? just kind of hanging out and living in the human world? yeah the field exists and digimon can bworp in and out of being visible to humans without VBs, but they also live in a setting where they can mostly get away with just going "no yeah i'm just a very advanced hologram, dw about it :)"

i also refuse to get over the fact that gammamon is like, canonically plural, and i really wish we had more time with gulus after the finale ep reveals about him and the GRB shit.

also, i do wonder if maybe the series shot itself in the foot by not knowing what it wanted to do, plot wise? it gave us expectations in the first episode as an audience--- suggesting big and strange things to be delivered, and didn't seem to know how to really deliver on them while also trying to be that variety of scooby doo shit that doesn't have to have a throughline plot (aka, setting up a mystery inc style story when it's got a stated goal to be more like the original series)

i was still using reddit at the time GG started, and i remember a lot of people really wanting to hype it up as "the next tamers," especially after they saw the tone and structure of the first episode. in general, i wonder if high expectations put more scrutiny on GG than it might have otherwise gotten.

(this of course isn't to say that there's criticism to be had for GG. i mean i just said i personally have beef with its lack of narrative commitment. i'm just wondering if maybe some people got a little too excited to see a series that met the lofty nostalgia of something like tamers.)

anyways, idk, there's not really anywhere i'm going with this one, i just had some idle thoughts at work today about this series.

go read the gray matter ghost game fancomic or something (no i really have no clue why ghost game is on my mind, really)

[gojos-thot-patrol]

I don’t know bout you but I’m introverted af. How would the jjk dudes treat an introverted and shy partner? 😊

AHH I love this request!! though, I will say I also have extreme social anxiety and I think that may have bled through so keep that in mind!

Now Presenting...

Starring: Satoru Gojo, Suguru Geto, Kento Nanami, and Ryomen Sukuna

Satoru Gojo

Gojo is going to be a hard one to deal with if you’re an introvert, I’m not gonna lie homies

He is extremely extroverted and loves to be around people.

He actually kinda has to be around people, least he lose his frickin mind

But, he does try to do better and pick up on your nonverbal cues

If you guys are out and he notices you getting overwhelmed, he tries to separate you from the situation

And while he loves hang outs, kick backs, nights out ect, he also loves just hanging out with you at home, quietly watching you play games or read together

I will say he does fall into the trap of finding your shyness cute.

Your flustered body language as you try to hide yourself away in social situations, He finds it cute!

And I honestly think he has a little bit of a hard time understanding your discomfort being around friends.

I mean, think about it. He’s a lonely guy with not a lot of friends. Gojo loves to attend social gatherings and hang outs, because they make him less lonely.

Why would anyone want to be lonely?

I also think he would have a pretty hard time giving you space ngl

Like, you just want to read alone but he wants to be right next to you. 

So, you have to be blunt with no room for misinterpretation when you need space. Just like real life!

I don’t think it would hurt his feelings, don’t worry. He’d be happy you can be so honest with him

He does try to adapt to you and your needs, but ya gotta give him some time

Suguru Geto

BESTIES, HE RUNS A CULT IDK WHAT YA WANT ME TO TELL YA

As an introvert who loves loves loves Suguru, don’t date him if you’re an introvert LMAO

He’s always got people in and around his house and all of them want to talk to him. It’s his “Family”

He may even be a little bit upset with you for wanting space from his family

They don’t mean you any harm, they love you! Why do you hate and avoid them?

I think he would “try” To “Help you adapt.”

By that I mean when you start to get overwhelmed, he pushes you past your boundaries to keep hanging out with them.

He would give you a drink to “help you nerves” 1000%

I just feel like being an introvert and dating him would leave you overstimulated all the time.

Not related (But it feels very related) he sees no problem in using the overhead lights and does so liberally. I mean that derogatorily.

Your best bet at getting some space is sneaking away while the others are deep in conversation

If you’re an introvert please stay far away from this man. I'm so serious. For your own safety stay clear

Now, that being said, I do think you can get some quiet time by agreeing to read with him.

But that’s it other than that you’re screwed.

Good luck soldier.

Kento Nanami

HIM TOO BESTIE HIM TOO

He completely understands because he is the exact same way

He's extremely sensitive to your needs and when you start to feel overwhelmed 

And as such, he's really good about getting you away from the situation and to a safe place where you can calm down

He understands space better than any of the other guys because he needs it sometimes too

You guys work because both of you hate everyone else

Ok, that's a bit of an exaggeration but there's truth to it!

One of his favorite fate nights is just sitting with you reading together 

Unlike Gojo, he doesn't see your signs of distress as cute. He sees them for what the are: signs if distress 

Thankfully, he's never opposed to leaving any social gathering early to get you home to recharge your battery

Honestly he probably needs a recharge too

And don't worry, he's not going to ask you to go anywhere else for at least a little while

Honestly, he's the objective best bet for any introvert

He's understanding and gentle about the situation 

All he asks is that you do the same for him

Ryomen Sukuna

Ok, here me out on this one. Sukuna loves that you're an introvert 

….because it means he has an easier time keeping you to himself 

What, you didn't think this would come without a catch, did ya?

I've touched on this before but I think Sukuna is really in touch with his SO’s needs, so he picks up on it the moment you start to get overwhelmed

And his version of helping you re-regulate is to just taking you home because he didn’t want to be round people anyway

Honestly, I feel like he may be an introvert too

But not in a “People can drain me” Sometimes way but in more of a “I fucking hate people” way

He’d make fun of you for it too just fyi

“What? Can’t handle a few humans? Pathetic.”

If someone comes looking for you to hang out he’s real quick to be like “Sorry, her battery is dead today.”

Even when it’s not

Does not understand personal time at all.

Ask him to leave you alone all you want, he’s going to be at least in the same room as you.

Probably pouting because you don’t want to be near him

Have I mentioned yet that Sukuna is a nightmare?

[sgiandubh]

What about Grandma then? In recent days, that Barbour issue has been discussed in several corners of this fandon, as you said. Well, the day before yesterday Garance was posting stories showing off his Barbour coats...Obviously those two also follow the topics discussed on Tumblr. 🤷‍♀️

Dear Garance Anon,

You will have to forgive me for the very, very late answer. I wanted to give it my full, undivided attention, because I believe we never spoke seriously about Mrs. Mariline Fiori, aka Garance Doré.

The short answer to your comment is 'oh, but we know they do, as we know they are not the only ones'. Unlike S&C, though, the McGrandmas might see us as a free, useful toolbox of sorts, where readily available ideas congregate. Remember they have deliberately calibrated their public couple personas on exactly what SC are unable and/or unwilling to give/show this fandom. To some extent, it works and, as any good Frenchwoman, Garance understood she was savvy to play the atout charme joker card. Which is exactly what she does - also, being French, she knows exactly what type of European public is instantly attracted to the Barbour reference: a public whose wallets she needs.

But as I just said, your post made me think about Mrs. Doré. Who is she, really? So, sorry, Anon, if I use you as a springboard for my musings.

She was, as I said, born Mariline Fiori, on May 1st (same day as JAMMF, LOL) 1977, in Ajaccio, Corsica's main town and birthplace of Napoleon Bonaparte. Not a Corsican, though (same as Napoleon, LOL): Italian father, French/Algerian mom. People who left Algeria when it became independent, after the Evian Peace Accords, and whom the metropolitan French still call, to these day, 'pieds-noirs' (literally and quite derogatorily, 'black feet'). Her family's social status is, however, a bit unclear, as Mrs. Fiori successively played with her personal story in interviews, in what the French also sarcastically call 'des petits arrangements avec la vérité'/ a bit of tinkering with the truth.

In this 2019 interview to Elle UK, for example, her parents are described as owning a restaurant in Corsica (https://www.elle.com/uk/life-and-culture/a29758314/garance-dore-original-influencer/):

But in another 2013 interview to The Talks, her mother was a shrink (https://the-talks.com/interview/garance-dore/):

Also, for the sake of clarity:

Oh, well: different country, different crowd/market, different agenda and perhaps older and wiser when talking to Elle UK, you would think?

Not necessarily and still a divisive figure for the international press/blogosphere. People did not appreciate her frequent flying and luxury travels during COVID, for example, along with her 'white, bourgeois woman entitlement'. Both in New Zealand...

(Source: https://www.ensemblemagazine.co.nz/articles/garance-dore-new-zealand - I think you should read the entire article, as it is absolutely enlightening, also something I wouldn't go polemic about, you make up your own mind, really).

...and in France, where they apparently are not very fond of her 'cult of personality' approach to social media, to say the least:

(Source: https://www.madmoizelle.com/a-t-on-vraiment-besoin-de-preter-attention-aux-conseils-antivax-des-influenceuses-1145916 Non Francophones could use Google Translate, but considerably lose in doing so the ferocity of the writing - but then, again, the French press is particularly sarcastic & ferocious, when set against someone or something. I love them to bits.)

The translation is clear, and I deliberately did not insist on the political stance of the article, whose title gives a straightforward idea: 'Do we really have to pay attention to the influencers' antivax advice?':

'This influencer cannot singlehandedly convert a part of her fans to antivaxing, via Instagram, but this comforts those who already thought so and keeps them even more hooked. This is because Instagram is a social media whose model heavily relies on shared affinities, meaning that it congregates likeminded people and creates bubble phenomena, of which GD is a good example.

GD, who built an empire around her handle which she turned into a brand and transformed her own lifestyle into her best product might very well turn her cult of personality into an economic model. Many celebrities already do so and are perfectly entitled to. But in her case, we are not talking about sending a birthday personalized cameo, we are talking about dispensing health advice during a pandemic.'

Truly, Ha-wa-wee 2.0 sounds like kindergarten compared to the above and never made it so far and wide in the international press. But hey, don't we know, double standard is the law of this land.

But to cut the story short, because it's 5 AM in here and we'd be talking about Mrs. McGrandma until tomorrow evening, do we really imagine someone so well versed in the ways and means of social media not following Tumblr?

Yeah, thought so, too.

[hyacinthusmemorial]

The Power of Children's Stories: Why "Kid's Book" Should Not Be Considered an Insult

I do this thing when I'm walking, I listen to Kids from the Stranger Things Soundtrack and I imagine Apollo fighting Python, but then I imagine all the heroes that came after him because in a way--Apollo is the archetype of the hero. He's a child, a baby god, four days old in some stories and he's not stealing cows, he's killing a serpent. Then I imagine all the demigods that came after him, and I'm stunned because there's a reason we give children the ability to slay monsters in media when they normally are not expected to do so in real life.

I read a post by @apollosgiftofprophecy, which is a valuable critique of derogatorily labeling something "kid's book". This post I'm writing in no way disregards that, but rather highlights something similar, but different. Rick Riordan's books are powerful (recent discussion about his characterization and stories aside), and just because they are targeted at a younger audience doesn't mean they aren't powerful for everyone. I'm guilty, I called them Kid's books in this post, but to me, Kid's Books are a powerful medium and not a lower one or even a derogatory one. To me, Percy Jackson is a one million times better character than Jon Snow in Game of Thrones because GOT takes its source material so, oh so seriously that it never explores the themes of his childhood in any meaningful way. Percy Jackson on the other hand as well as Apollo because I adore those books too--they use a narration style that is clear, entertaining, and bright and humorous to express very harsh realities of life. I identified with Apollo more as an adult because he uses humor to mask his darkness, which is very much something I do (and honestly anyone in healthcare or who deals with death daily does that), but I adored Apollo because he was hiding.

Clearly, I don't write for middle grade level when I write, I write adult content, but I wanted to validate "kid's books" --not "Just kid's books." Kid's books are powerful.

Examples:

Responsible for combatting Racist views! Absolutely one of the most powerful books ever written, and it teaches CHILDREN and ADULTS to turn around and save someone even when its not the "right" thing to do, but it absolutely is. It challenges conscience. It does this while telling joke after joke after joke.

Another Example:

Another "Kid's books" but not "just kid's books"-- gosh, I could go on and on about LOTR and its themes about power. This book is important for all ages. I still analyze the hell out of it, and so do my friends. Its hopeful, not because its less of a book than its counterpart "its all quiet on the western front," but because its illustrating powerful lessons without despair. Everyone makes it home, everything is beautiful, they rebuild, the Shire endures through the darkness. The Ring is destroyed even though it still very much exists in our world.

What about the Giving Tree, or Dr. Seuss books like Yertle the Turtle or the Sneetches, Artemis Fowl, and all those "kid's books." Star Wars is for "kids," but talking about Cycles of Abuse! Luke means Hope, and he breaks his families cycle of abuse. That's powerful, and its for kids!

I would argue that Kid's books are powerful BECAUSE they are targeted for kids, not in spite of it. Stories are how we TEACH. Grimm's Fairytale's existed because storytelling was a medium through which kid's learned vital truths--they have to be dark, kid's understand darkness, they understand monsters, and while our society sanitizes death away, kid's very much should learn how to understand death too.

I read an article about how a tribe, I think perhaps one of the Inuit, uses stories instead of physical discipline and how they find that this is the superior way of teaching children and adults. Everyone listens to the stories, not just the kids. When someone makes a mistake, they develop a story to show what happens if that mistake is oft repeated. I think about our ancestors gathered around fires and they told stories, and the kids were front and center, but the adults were there too, listening, learning, remembering.

On a completely different note: when a book is "targeted" towards an audience, that's marketing. It has nothing to do with content or value. We need to separate the concept of marketed, and marketing, from the whole value of a book as a means through which to tell a story that discusses important themes.

I very much use my story as a means through which to express truths about personal issues, and I think it resonates. But, those themes and truths are universal in their basic nature, a child can understand what it means to be hurt as much as an adult. A child can understand what it means to be free as much as an adult.

[skyclan-funny-name-squad]

context about the mlm flag and furry art on the wiki??

(i get you're not homophobic or anything, just... where does this thing appeared, is it the wikia fandom dot com or something, who is represented??)

Not to get into flag discourse on my warrior cat blog but I can give a quick run down since I brought it up. TLDR at the bottom.

the mlm flag is this flag also known as the Vincian flag

It was a flag that was created so gay men can have their own specific flag, as for awhile the 'gay men flag' was just the rainbow flag which also covers anyone else. So this flag started popping up to be specifically gay men a few years ago, though its certainly not the only gay men flag it is a popular one. Some people REALLY don't like this flag though, often thinking it ugly or co-opting the lesbian flag. So when it pops up in drama like 'changing a lesbian collar to a vincian collar' on Fury the bloodclan cat, people start to go after the flag itself instead of...every other issue that was wrong due to the history of discourse between the two flags.

You may hear people derogatorily call it the 'toothpaste' flag or call it's existence lesbiphobic. Despite it having nothing to do with lesbians beyond being somewhat based on the lesbian flag's design. In fact the design was changed from originally having purple to make it more distinct from the butch lesbian flag. Really it's more petty queer infighting that means absolutely nothing to anyone not super online. So since I saw people being kinda homophobic about the flag used, I wanted to make it VERY clear on my blog that I'm not going to mock the flag itself, because that's rude and exclusionist.

The actual problem with the Fury change is how completely different the design is from the previous interpretation, fucking up any kind of consistency. The fact large details of the new design were drawn from someone else's OC is questionable at best because those details were not picked for Fury because it fit Fury, but because it fit that person's OC. While technically the new design follows the rules of the wiki, it's questionable and people are like "hey it's kinda fucked that you so completely changed the design especially to make it more resemble someone's OC." and the flag just made an easy thing to point at to prove that point.

TLDR;

Flag has petty discourse, people use that discourse for easy points against the design, some people go to a point I think feels a bit homophobic or at least becoming homophobic and want to be explicit that I am not apart of that group.

Something something my quarrel was never with the flag it was always with you wikia mods-

[katierosefun]

wait i was looking up cases of bullying in schools when the word Eton came up and i just discovered how ugly it is behind all the pretence they put up, bullying, corruption and dishonesty run rampant in there. I can't help but imagine Juwon in there, how horrible it must have been for him... hell he probably was one of the few asian kid there at that surrounded by conceited rich british guys that think they're better than anyone and everything must be hand over to them, my heart breaks thinking about what he might have faced. I'm realizing that many of his antics actually make so much sense, all his resoluteness about delivering justice and dismantling corruption... sad hours open i guess :(

oh dear wait x2 actually! i remembered the part after the egg scene in which he's washing up and about to remove his shirt when chief nam enters and he so quickly puts it back on... I'm definitely reading too much into it but, bUT that makes me sad? it kinda gives me the idea that he was bullied even physically other than shamed? but had to keep everything to himself cause who could he even talk to? I'm sorry idk if this makes much sense but i kinda wanted to share to you cause you always give precious and interesting insights, things i missed or didn't consider (2/2)

oh . . . .. yeah, anon, while i'm not british, i def. hardcore relate to the feeling of going to a school and quickly realizing that you're one of the only (if not the only) asian person, surrounded by spoiled white kids who parrot the awful things their parents say. (only i think joo won had it off worse. at least i knew english, and at least i had siblings and parents to go back to, but joo won . . . joo won's. like. eight. seven, maybe. his dad never visited him. he didn't even have his babysitter around. hyuk's nonexistent to him at this point in his life. there's no one.)

and oh god yeah, actually i think a lot about how joo won must have probably faced all kinds of bullying when in the locker rooms. (i mean. also. part of the queer experience definitely makes locker rooms even doubly uncomfortable for a variety of reasons. also. like. there's this annoying habit that white people especially like to project on asian boys and asian men in general, usually (derogatorily, of course) deeming them more feminine and therefore gay (ie. nothing wrong with being gay, ofc, but we all know that when it's said like that, it's never out of acceptance, is it). (but anyways. that might also explain joo won's . . . well. listen. he can act all uncaring and etc. but it's pretty clear from the way he looks at dong sik screams "repressed").

your point about joo won being so obsessive with the idea of punishment and justice stemming from being a victim of bullying absolutely hits the nail on the head too. i think that when one's severely bullied (and the bullies never seem to get in trouble--they always either seem to have the teachers already on their side, or if they're punished, the punishment is always ridiculously minimal), that can really feed a kid's ideas of what justice should look like. (and also just make them hellishly angrier. like, rightfully so though. you see kids doing cruel shit + adults enabling or encouraging them, and then your brain kicks into Angry and Bitter Overdrive through the rest of your life and etc.)

[ughwhyislifelikethis]

Guess I might as well do this here since it's a bit more personal/honest than I might want some irl friends to see - and bc I don't want to have to discuss it with them, frankly. I'd rather not lose a friendship over this even though it causes me to be somewhat hurt or whatever. I know, it's not healthy, I should probably not stay friends or whatever, etc but my autistic finally not bullied and excluded ass kinda refuses to be lonely rn and at the end of the day frankly it's not worth it for me personally. Could probably say something about how "saying something about shitty treatment could cause friendships to break up is shit and the queer community needs to do better etc l" but eh. Not the point.

Also, the wording in this is messy, it's long-winded, it is not explicit in exclusions and if I tried to hit every point of "by this I do not mean this specific form of discussion that falls under bigotry" it would be too fucking long, and it is already. So if you're gonna be like "Mra! you're being transmisogynist!" Or soemthing (I have no idea how you're gonna get transmisogyny from this considering I literally only talk about this in the context of cis people's views on me as a transmasculine person and I do my best to avoid things that could be interpreted badly so that that doesn't happen but watch it happen somehow. The mra thing I could see how twisting my words here could get but I do not and will not ever excuse or condone bigotry or sexism or etc under the guise of "MRA bullshit". Just bc I'm saying maybe you should think critically about how cis men are expected and asked to behave in society and how that affects them does not mean I'm saying go fix them or excuse the shitty behavior exhibited.)

I think that covers all of it, idk. Don't really care with how damn long this is and y'know, it being a vent post that's secondarily maybe helpful for explaining experiences to others and also for getting stuff worked out in my own head.

Anyways. My actual point.

I really do think some of the reason it took me so damn long to realize I was trans and specifically a trans guy is because of transandrophobia I heard offline and online. To be crystal clear - the people I'm talking about hearing it from were fucking cis. Hell, even I used to derogatorily mutter "boys" in middle school because the cis boys in my class were assholes and I wasn't great at the whole "wider picture thing". I'd barely started coming into my own awareness - honestly I think it had started fifth grade when I actually felt like a fucking person. My memories kinda really start there - everything else earlier is a blur. Saying "girls" in the same way felt wrong, bc it is, and also highlights the if it's wrong for one why exactly isn't it wrong for the other? so I didn't do it more than a few times, but I also was very confused for a while as to why I felt a separation from the things, why I didn't feel lumped in with the girls "like I should".

Again, I digress. I was saying how I as a middle schooler used to buy into the whole "fuck (not literally) boys" thing that's really popular at that age. Or maybe that was me. Idk, being ace also affected things. (The correct thing to do there would be to actually address the bullying and shit not just ignore it bc the victim is an autistic adhd middle schooler with very few coping skills and a severe lack of ability to mask.) (Also the whole "he bullies you bc he likes you is a whole topic I could probably go into about how no parties deserve that excuse bc it teaches young cis boys extremely unhealthy behaviors and also teaches cis girls that they should take it bc it's a crush, etc but again not the point. I'm ADHD, did I mention that?)

Okay. Hopefully onto the rest of my point.

Growing up afab, I was taught a lot about how "boys are". They're mean because they crush on you, you wont be chastised for saying something derogatory about an entire group of people (who aren't doing it bc of their gender but because they're assholes and the teachers didn't feel like stopping them from being assholes. Or something. There's probably an intersection of ableism there truth be told), you won't be allowed to play hockey but do figure skating it's safer! (And less boyish). Don't be like your tomboy cousins, they're gonna have to grow out of it and we'll reward that behavior when it occurs and push for less of tomboyish behavior too. Shave your legs, wear dresses, don't "look like a boy."

Don't try and "look like a boy". Not just because apparently I'm supposed to be a "girl" but "don't look like a boy."

Apparently, It's gross. Unhygenic, don't you know boys never clean up after themselves? It's undesirable to look like a boy as an afab person but ultimately for me it was taboo to even want to look like a boy.

And like, I get that there's the whole patriarchy thing and that rich cis white abled men who have no other form of intersectional oppression issues tend to be in power and all that. I'm not disputing that.

But for trans men, or at least, this one?

I was told it was bad to look like a boy or to want anything to do with being one.

And I think, honestly, there was an implied "it's a step down for you" with it.

And maybe that had something to do with growing up when a lot of the "girl power! Stuff was taking off". Maybe parents, teachers, etc were just trying to honesly say I didn't need to "step up" to be worthwhile because girls aren't lesser, and that's true. No gender inherently (structure of the world aside, in a world where bigotry isn't a thing etc) is better or worse than any other.

But I didn't hear "I don't need to step up".

I heard "you shouldn't step down, because you're valuable as you are and this would be leaving that all behind for the "easy" road of cis privilege" . And yeah, I have and always will benefit from white privilege, and able-bodied, unless something changes and I'm no longer able-bodied. But I will never be seen as either non queer (deliberately, because I want to be a safe place for queer kids to find, or for queer people in general looking for a friend) or noncis, probably. I'll never, ever be "stepping up". There's a good chance I'll always read something, because I'm autistic, I'm queer, I'm ADHD, and something will probably ring cis people's bells to say "something is off".

And I didn't - don't, as much as I'm working through it - want to "step down". It is so tempting to just recloset myself and live with the dysphoria and go after the scholarships I see aimed at cis women, the internships for that. But I can't. Because I can't even imagine just. Even stepping toward the closet. I couldn't keep the lie that I'm cis and a women up. Pandora's box was opened and I am unable to close it.

So I'll never benefit from those. And I'm stuck in the position where I can't seek out the trans specific ones because I'm not out to my parent, who I live with. And I love him to death, I do, but hearing "why do you want to look like a boy" from him hurts so damn much.

This got really long, sorry. I'm almost done.

I mentioned way above, how I used to mutter "boys" when I thought boys were being ridiculous and stupid or whatever. I've heard my friends say "men" like that and it stings, every time. Do you really think that I'm like this asshole you're talking about? That specific man is an asshole, true, but I can point you to 3 others off the top of my head who aren't. And I know there's a shit ton of shitty men out there. The point is I'm upset you automatically assume that I'm one of them even if you don't really realize that. I'm a man. I'm not cis, but I'm a man. You will pass me on the street and if you don't see the trans, you'll lump me in with the other men in your head who you will toss out a derogatory "why are men?" To.

So maybe it's a struggle because I know causing a fuss to that will get a "I'm talking about cis men" which isn't actually better. I'm a man cis or not and cis men can be good, actually. I know a good few and I'm sick of knowing that even saying that gets seen as "not all men!" Type bullshit. No, maybe I just want you to not assume my cis guy friends aren't total pieces of shit because they were born cis men. Maybe I hesitate(d) to label myself a man because I know that will downgrade their opinion on me, consciously or otherwise, if I made it a point for them to remember it.

I've definitely lost a few trains of thoughts I wanted to post somejwre here and there but anyways. Yeah. Here's a vent post and here's why the form of transphobia I specifically face because I am a trans MAN is a thing I deal with and would like to stop hearing that it doesn't exist.

I think I may make a post about how the whole concept of viewing the other gender as alien or another species isn't/wasn't just limited to cis boys about cis girls and how that ties into transandrophobia specifically (it also ties into transmisogyny I think? But I'm gonna talk about it/ramble about it in the context of transandrophobia) next but it definitely won't fit here cause this is too long already.

[wilhelmjfink]

How about “i know you think you have to get through this by yourself, but you have people here to help you.” Hope that gets the creative juices flowing! Thank you for writing for us!🧡💖🧡💖

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR REQUESTING I’M SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG I really didn’t want to write about a scenario that is so common for Daryl and this was all I could come up with D: hope you enjoy at least!! Thank you again for helping me get my creative justices flowing xoxo

—

You’d found your feet somehow carried you to the southernmost edge of the pasture when you spotted the tent over the horizon, far away from the RV and where your forcibly impromptu family camped. It was a good, solid five minute walk that separated them, but you didn’t mind; it was a nice Autumn day, a little warmer than usual, but your blood felt like ice with the anxiety coursing through it.

You knew how this would turn out. It was not going to be in your favor, or even leave you feeling like anything except a burden, but the better part of you also knew that it was worth your expense in the long run. Daryl had nobody. And you weren’t sure if anybody else noticed the look on his face when little Sophia stumbled out of the old barn, gray skin and yellow eyes, jaw snapping hungrily at the promise of food that stood before her in the form of her mother and several other exhausted bodies that had searched endlessly for her.

One stood out in your brain above all the others, his drive and dedication standing out amongst even Carol’s it seemed, and you knew Daryl. He may not even know your name, but you understood what he was feeling — pathetic, useless, a failure — and you were going to make sure he heard you tell him otherwise, even though his reaction was sure to discourage you and hurt your feelings.

Eager to get it over with, you opted not to beat around the bush, and instead opened your mouth as soon as you got within earshot: “I know you think you have to get through this by yourself, but you have people here to help you.”

He was sitting beside a smoldering campfire, whet stone in one hand and hunting knife in the other, and he stiffened upon your words, but didn’t raise his head.

“‘m sorry?”

You swallowed, mouth suddenly gone dry. “You don’t have to pretend like you aren’t hurt,” you started, clearing your throat anxiously as you fought to keep your confidence. “I just want you to know that we’re here for you — you have a family that...”

He looked up at you then, blue eyes narrowed in distrust, tossing the whet stone carelessly to the side before wiping his hands on a tattered red rag he retrieved from his pocket. Almost too casual, you thought. “Yeah, yeah — save it. Don’t need no pep talk.”

You commended yourself instantly for the way he already began to shut you out, putting up those solid walls and setting up a defense the way only he could: you called it. You knew exactly how he would react and that only motivated you further, confirming your assumptions that he was far more broken up about the whole incident than he would ever let on. “I want to help you get through this,” you asserted, squaring your shoulders.

Your facade crumbled as he rose to his feet and you flinched, anticipating his outburst, and he didn’t miss the movement but it only seemed to further his growing rage, angry at himself for drawing that reaction out of you.

“Ain’t nothin’ to ‘get through’,” he threw up air quotes with his fingers derogatorily and you frowned. “Dunno why everyone thinks that I gave a damn about that girl, if that’s what ya mean. I tried to find her, ‘n she was dead the whole time. Wasted effort. Shit happens. S’over with, so drop it, alright?”

“I’m not going to let you blame yourself for this!”

This time, the knife was whipped from his hand, the newly-sharpened blade suddenly lodged expertly into the soft earth by your feet. You gasped as he swiftly rounded on you, but this time you stood strong, even jutting your chin out in mock confidence as he approached you and towered over you with the foot in height he had on you.

“Listen here, girl, you ain’t let me do nothin’!” You held your breath as he hovered over you, throwing a threatening finger in your face. “The girl wasn’t my responsibility ‘n I sure as hell ain’t yours. So go on back to your little farm family, ‘n leave me the hell alone!”

“I just want to help!”

“I don’t need ya, ‘n I don’t need your fuckin’ help!”

“Stop trying to fight this!” Your voice had risen to a furious shout, and your words began to waver unsteadily with the onset of emotions you were feeling. The conversation had rapidly turned personal when you realized he was taking his feelings out on you and shutting you out — though you weren’t sure what you were expecting to happen otherwise. You stomped your foot furiously, not unlike a child not getting their way. “I just want to be your friend, damn it! Stop pushing me away!”

You braced yourself for his response, envisioning him looming over you and screaming at you as you shrink beneath his icy glare and harsh words, but there was a beat of silence long enough to have you glancing up at him curiously. Surprisingly, he was staring at you, but it wasn’t cold or unforgiving or distrustful. It was... surprised. It was contemplative. It was unlike any expression you’d seen out of the archer yet, and it was intriguing; you stared back at him.

He blinked. Once, twice, and then his head dropped down, averting his eyes from yours. He drew a shuddering breath, and shook his head wordlessly, denying or refusing something you couldn’t see or hear, and then his shoulders dropped and he sobbed.

It may have broken your heart worse than a lot of horrific things you’d seen in this new world.

Striding forward you closed the narrow space between the two of you, throwing your arms around his large frame, and holding tightly as if he could disappear from your grasp at any second. Essentially, you knew, he could, this new Daryl you had never seen before being so fleeting and rare, the rock hard shell would undoubtedly return and he’d shut you back out once again. But for now, you wanted to pour out as much love and comfort and reassurance as you possibly could into the chink in his armor in hopes that you could reach him and maybe convey some sense of companionship to him.

“It’s okay to feel things, Daryl,” you whispered, so silently you weren’t even sure he could hear it. “But please, just let me feel them with you.”

[leah-halliwell92]

Here Come’s The Sun

Summary: May has had it with Jack’s passive aggressive attitude, his pining after Lucy and most especially her own pining for him. So she takes one out of her sister’s book and decides to stay in on the day of love itself. There’s nothing better than work to give one some time alone with their thoughts...and away from the borderline disgusting lovers on the outside world.

(For those who know...This will be in the same universe as an in progress work for this same fandom. And if anyone else has questions drop em in my box!)

May adjusted her glasses as she stopped in front of the table that is a little ways away from Dracula’s cage. She resisted the urge to scoff and roll her eyes at the files that cluttered up its surface. 

“Can’t even be bothered to put the papers in their respective files,” she said to herself as she separated the papers into their correct file folder and putting the files into a neat pile on a corner of the table before setting her own folders on the table.

“Thought you’d be out like the rest of your colleagues,” the man in the cage said nonchalantly.

May rolled her eyes at that but said nothing and went about finishing her file on Castle Dracula. 

“Isn’t that what today is all about? Pairing up with your other and giving each other tokens of affection and what not?” He continued on unbothered.

May rolled her eyes and looked up to find the man in question staring at her through the glass of his cage. 

Dracula to his credit, looked as curious as he sounded.

May gave herself a mental shake and went back to her writing.

“What on earth could be so interesting in that file that is keeping you practically mute?” He asked now annoyed at being so blatantly ignored.

May sighed and looked up before saying, “I’m writing about my latest expedition. If you must know I’m writing about the ruins of a castle I was studying.”

“Were?” He asked his brows furrowing in curiosity.

“Yes,” she said with a sigh, “I was about to uncover something important when my dear sister gave me a call to come home.”

“Ah so it is my home you were digging through,” he said with a cocky smirk, “So I do interest you then?”

May scoffed, “Don’t push your luck, I’m not my sister.”

“No?” He said in disbelief, “So you don’t want to study me? And have been wanting to crack me open like an egg and poke and prod at what’s inside for the last two weeks?”

May laughed out right at that.

“I don’t see where that could ever be funny,” Dracula said a growl coming from his chest.

May’s body still shook from laughing but she had to admit, he is rather handsome and the way he seemed to ooze raw power impressed her...slightly.

“It is when you say such a thing to a woman with a doctorate in European history,” she said with a small grin.

“Oh,” he said now looking, slightly, abashed.

She shook her head at him and finished the paragraph she was working on so she could give him her undivided attention.

She gave him a look over comparing what he looks like to the portrait she’d seen in one of the rooms. 

“What,” he said smirking again, “Like what you see?”

“That is irrelevant,” she said voice even as she continued studying him from her seat.

“Well aren’t you ever filled with surprises,” he said cockily.

She smirked and was about to say something else when...

“Don’t entertain him...it won’t do you any good,” her sister, Zoe, said as she walked in lab coat billowing with every step she took. 

May rolled her eyes in the dark making the vampire in his cage smirk. 

“Goodbye Zoe,” she said loudly.

“You shouldn’t even be here,” she said clearly not liking the clear dismissal.

“And where should I be Zoe?” May asked angrily, “In the bowels of the foundation locked away with my files and archives? If the point was to keep me buried I’d have stayed in Transylvania.”

Zoe couldn’t say anything to that, not because she didn’t have anything to say but because her younger sister had a point. She knew of the expedition and knew where. May would have been safe no matter what...

“Take Jack with you by the way,” May said not looking at her sister finally turning to look at her sister.

Zoe for her part was confused as to why, after all May had a bit of a crush and thought her sister and colleague were going to give a relationship a try. 

May gave Zoe a heated glare. 

The sisters shared a silent conversation before Zoe nodded sadly and left the room.

May cleared her throat and stood.

“Will you ever tell me why you were so studiously examining my person?” Dracula asked curiously.

May gave him a weak grin but excused herself to put away Jack and her sister’s mess of files leaving her behind.

She kept her steps light not wanting to draw attention to herself as she made her way down to the records’ hall.

‘I really need to find a second office,’ she thought as she put the files back in their respective spots.

Everything was going better than she expected time wise, she even had time to change into her leggings and a cozy top, when she heard two distinct voices walking through her sanctum. 

“Of course she’s here,” Jack said as he walked in turning on all the lights as he walked through the room like he owned the place, “She never leaves this place.”

May covered her mouth to keep her breathing in check. She knew Jack wasn’t too keen on her, she also knew what he thought about her. He made it no secret and told anyone who’d listen all about her hermit-like ways. She never thought that he’d completely disregard the fact that she has an education and a title in her own right. 

“She’s qualified historian Jack,” she heard one of her colleagues say in defense of her.

May took off her shoes and worked her way around the large archive’s room. Knowing the room like the back of your hand helps when one wants to make a swift escape.

“She’s a qualified secretary,” he said derogatorily. 

May paused a tear escaping her. She knew that that is what he and her sister saw her as. 

She made a quick exit narrowly escaping the pair and making her way back to where the cage is.

May ignored Dracula’s questioning gaze and dismissed the guards swiftly reminding them that she is as much in charge of the place as Saint Zoe. The guards left at her order but felt no comfort in leaving her there with a clearly dangerous...beast. She proceeded to put her files in her bag and pull out her laptop.

“Are you alright?” Dracula asked after having had enough of seeing the woman command the attention of all in the room.

‘She really is something,’ he thought holding back a smirk remembering how Agatha had done the same on the Demeter when his true nature was revealed.

May gave Dracula a guarded look before pulling out her sketch pad and a pencil before clicking the space bar on her computer allowing music to play from it softly. All the while not answering his question.

Dracula was about to inquire again when a Doctor Jack Seward walked into the room.

��There you are May, I need you to pull a file out for me,” he said flashing her a flirtatious grin.

She looked at him then at Dracula before looking back at Jack.

“Sorry we’re closed,” she said and went back to her drawing.

Jack looked dumfounded at the response. May had always done something for him when he asked without question.

“Its very important May please?” He said laying the good puppy look on thick.

“Oh pleeeeease do you really think that act will work?” Dracula taunted, “Do you really think she’ll fall for it? 

Jack bristled at that but spared Dracula no response to that.

“When the dead guy is right,” May said never straying from what she was doing.

Jack’s temper was showing, the morning’s CCTV was going to be more than amusing to see for all involved.

“Go find Lucy Jack, I’m sure she’s dying to see you,” May said glaring at him, “After all I’m just a lowly secretary.”

Dracula gapped at the girl...no. Woman.

Jack’s eyes widened at her words, “May–”

“It’s Doctor Helsing,” she said voice hard, “And I will become your worst nightmare if you don’t get your ass out of here.”

Dracula openly stared at May then mouth wide open as her words mirrored those of a similarly strong willed woman.

Jack swallowed thickly at this, “How can you–”

“I am an educated woman with fighting experience,” May said, “You may be taller than me but you know what they say...they higher they are the harder the fall.”

Jack swallowed at that having seen you training one day and took your threat to  heart. He wouldn’t show this to her though, he needed that file and he’d do almost anything to get it. Even play your feelings for him to get it.

“May, please,” she said dropping his voice down some.

Dracula rolled his eyes and raised his hand to get May’s attention.

She looked his way fire in her eyes, “What.”

“Just letting you know you might have to do that if what he did is any tell,” he said almost pitiously nodding in Jack’s direction, “Well that and his heart rate’s accelerated meaning what you’ve said has had a rather profound effect on him.”

May looked at Jack in interest.

“Come on May you can’t mean to trust him can you? He’s a monster!” Jack screamed.

“Actually he’s been nothing but courteous to me since I walked through the door. The one whose been an ass is you thinking I’d whore myself to you because I have a school yard crush on you that will pass the longer your higher than thou attitude is ruling what little common sense you have,” May said a dangerous smirk on her face.

“Jack! There you are,” Zoe said as she walked in.

Dracula backed off the window pane and moved to lay down on the chaise of the cage.

“Did I miss something?” She asked seeing Jack’s pale face before yelling, “What did you do Dracula!?”

“He didn’t do anything Zoe, believe it or not,” May said evenly standing from her seat.

Zoe wasn’t in the mood to argue and was sure she’d see the feed in the morning, the pair looked unharmed and Dracula looked to be more than used to being in his cage.

“I know you don’t believe me Zoe,” May said softly, “Just leave.”

Zoe went to her sister but was more than hurt when May took a step a way from her.

“Leave,” May repeated defeatedly, “Take your...man with you.”

Zoe wanted to say more but decided to wait till later and did as May said. 

“Let’s go Jack,” Zoe said firmly.

“But...the file,” she said in protest.

“Can wait till tomorrow,” she said firmly.

Zoe didn’t wait for Jack to respond or do anything, she dragged him from the room promising to call May later so they could talk.

May sighed and slumped back into her chair.

“Are you alright?” Dracula asked.

May sighed and looked to the man who stood back at the window.

She shook her head and went back to her drawing. 

A couple of songs later a soft guitar was heard coming from her laptop.

“Can you raise the...um...what is it...” he started asking a little lost for words still unfamiliar with the technology still. 

“You mean make it louder?” May asked lightly. 

He nodded.

Here comes the sun, doo-dun doo-doo Here comes the sun, and I say It's all right

Little darling, it's been a long cold lonely winter Little darling, it feels like years since it's been here

”Dr. Helsing,” Dracula asked staring at her in what looked like wonder but May couldn’t be sure.  Here comes the sun, doo-dun doo-doo Here comes the sun, and I say It's all right

May looked at Dracula questioningly an inquisitive brow in the air. Little darling, the smile's returning to their faces Little darling, it seems like years since it's been here Here comes the sun Here comes the sun, and I say It's all right

“Would you honor me with a dance?” He said with a shrug.

Sun, sun, sun, here it comes Sun, sun, sun, here it comes Sun, sun, sun, here it comes Sun, sun, sun, here it comes Sun, sun, sun, here it comes

“Oh what the hell,” she said and stood, “If I’m going to die might as well die dancing.”

Dracula looked surprised at her comment but held his tongue. 

May was somewhat careful and put on her grandmother’s cross and under her shirt. Before making her way to the door and using her key to open the door.

“Hold it mister,” she said as Dracula was about to step out of the room, “I go in, you don’t.”

Dracula agreed to this and offered her his hand.

Little darling, I feel that ice is slowly melting Little darling, it seems like years since it's been clear

May took his hand and together they danced until dawn...and the news that his lawyer had arrived.

Here comes the sun, doo-dun doo-doo Here comes the sun, and I say It's all right Here comes the sun, doo-dun doo-doo Here comes the sun It's all right It's all right

Dracula Tag-List: @kaddis-world, @count-snackula, @your-pixels-are-showing, @peachlogiic, @the-life-and-times-of-a-nerd, @lokiisbrucebanner, @deny-black, @drsherlockmoffat, @festering-queen, @ashashashashashie, @hoefordarkness​,  @jd-johndeacon-or-jackdaniels, @glamrockmonarch

[hitchell-mope]

(Third film. After “I’ve gotta be me”. Uma looks around nervously)

Uma: I really hope nobody in there heard that

Ben: nah, don’t worry, I shielded and soundproofed is from them

Uma: surprisingly thoughtful, uhhhh, aheh, at this point I usually call you derogatorily by your last name

Ben: Le Roi. Well legally it’s Bach. But officially it’s Le Roi

Uma: Benjamin. Florian. Le Roi. Do you have any idea how fucking ridiculous that sounds?

Ben: and your last name would be

Uma: Facillier. She doesn’t have a last name

Ben: ah.

Uma: oh. Oh my.

Ben: what’s up? Oh. Yeah he does that.

Uma: s’clever.

Ben: that’s Doug for you

Uma: why am I interested by that

Ben: we’re eighteen. And therefore weak to his power.

(They’re watching Doug eat a bowl of peanuts with just his tongue. Ben snaps out of the stupor first)

Ben: moving swiftly onwards. Hit me

Uma: heh?

Ben: hit me, sock me one, deck me, gimme a knuckle sandwich. Any variations the phrase retains the same meaning. Punch me in the face.

Uma: why?

Ben: I’ve got a theory I wanna test out.

Uma: but aren’t you...

Ben: ...more powerful then you? Yes. So make sure to give it you’re all then. C’mon, cahmon. C’mon, cahmon. HitmehitmehitmehitmehitmeWOOOO

(Uma slogs him around the face do hard he flips horizontally in midair and lands flat on his back right next to where the gazebo was. A full three feet away)

Uma: Z’that what you wanted?

Ben (utterly jubilant): as a matter of fact. Yes

Uma: so now what? Gonna Tell the missus?

Ben: nope. I’m gonna offer you a job.

Uma: ahahah that’s funny. I thought you said you were offering me a job?

Ben: I figure. If you put that much effort punching me. You’ll put the same effort into protecting me.

Uma: n-no, no, you’re not supposed to do that. You’re supposed to hate me. I had you kidnapped. I almost had you thrown to sharks. I hypnotised you. I almost capsized your stinking yacht. And you wanna give me the job of protecting you? Who the fuck does that?!?! For all you know I could do that again?

Ben: now why would you do that when our interests align? Besides the fact that I forgive you. I want to get kids off the island. You want to get kids off the island. What better way to do that then by working together? And yeah. You could probably do that again. But I’m willing to take that chance.

Uma (as Ben’s saying all this, and devolving into tears): no, no, shut up I your forgiveness that’s not how it’s supposed to go you’re supposed to hate just like I hate her will you SHUT UP

Ben: ooh. (Through a Cheshire Cat grin) Finally

(She’s skewered Ben in the stomach with her sword. He smiles, bends the blade in half, pulls it out of him and throws it upwards. He leaps up ten foot in the air and gives it a flying kick, shattering it into a chunky powder. He lands next to Uma, conjures an umbrella, pulls her close and lifts the umbrella over them just as the powder lands on their heads. In response she blasts him away with magic. What follows is a very violent, very acrobatic duel that trashes the garden, obliterates what’s left of the gazebo and Harry, gives Uma a broken arm, Ben a broken nose and leaves both of them missing a foot each. As a form of foreshadowing, throughout the entire fight the instrumental for “superhero” plays)

Uma: god I hope you’re happy

Ben: I am actually. Cause now I know I’m right

Uma: what?

Ben: we are both almost perfectly evenly matched. My twelve months of sheer power with your eighteen years of practice and look what we managed to do?

Uma: give your future sister in law a coronary?

Ben: fight to a stalemate. Please? For six months. You’ll get paid to yell at people and beat them up if necessary

Uma:...no

(This is when “superhero” happens. After the song Ben starts fixing the garden)

Uma: ok then. Let’s say I did take the job? Wouldn’t one of your own be more trustworthy?

Ben: Jane’s still in school. Lonnie’s going off to college with Gil next year and she was only filling in for the summer anyway. And Doug’s my major-domo. So can’t choose them even if I wanted to.

Uma: and the other three?

Ben: conflict of interest. Carlos is legally my son and he’s also still in school. Mals my fiancé and Evie’s her sister. So again. No go.

Uma: couldn’t you...

Ben: duplicate myself and have him as my bodyguard? I could. But then I’d be breaking my promise to my mother

Uma: huh?

Ben: she was ok with me having magic so long as I legitimately practiced it, didn’t use it for schoolwork, didn’t use it for paperwork, didn’t use it for personal gain, and it didn’t give my subjects cause to worry. For a year at least

Uma: personal gains the best part of magic though

Ben: last time a king used the power he’d been afforded for personal gain...well. You grew up in the result so telling you wouldn’t achieve anything

Uma: oh. But...

Ben: I could use my magic to quicken the relocation? Like I said. Paperwork, personal gain, worrying the subjects. It’s definitely something that needs to happen. But I’m not taking shortcuts because it needs to be done properly and through the correct channels.

Uma: well that’s bullshit. Wait. What was all that fighting singy thing for then?

Ben: loophole

Uma (snickering): oh beasty boy you are perfect

Ben: why thank you kindly captain

Uma (flatly): Don’t push it

Ben: ok, ok

Uma: I’m serious though. The best part about magic is that you can do anything you want

(This is when “everything is not what it seems” happens. After the song they go back into the house to find it in chaos. Doug has Cj in a full Nelson with her head near the lit stove. Elsa’s downing an entire bottle of sambuca. Evie’s preventing Harriet and Hades from trying to patch up Harry. Mal has stuck Hadie to the sofa so he can’t help Harry. Jane’s drunkenly yelling about how much she loves her friends. Carlos is on Jay’s back, Celia and Dizzy are hanging off Jay’s arms and all four are chanting “kill her” at Doug. Lonnie’s eating a sloppy joe omelette and watching the events unfold intently. Gil is swirling round a smoothie. He notices them first)

Gil: oh you’re back. Finally. D’you wanna...?

Ben: yeah. Um...ooh. Yes that’s it. Uma. Take half of this sceptre and follow my lead

(He snaps his own, collapsible sceptre in half, hands one of those halves to Uma, jumps onto the kitchen island, helps Uma up and together they spin each half until they make a high pitched screeching sound that makes the chaos stop)

Ben: could all my friends please come over to my side

Uma: alright you useless fuckers, SIDDOWN!!!!

Ben: now, what happened

Uma: yeah ceej, what did you do?

Cj: why do you assume I did anything when it was clearly this heterosexual imbecile

Uma: cause I know you kid, since you were five in fact, so I know it was probably your doing

Ben: what happened Doug?

Doug: she insulted Evie and I in our own house, belittled our relationship and tried to stab me in the head with a rotisserie blade. And I f that wasn’t bad enough

Evie: she called me a traitor and slapped me around the face

Doug: and that is how the situation you walked in on transpired.

Cj: bald faced lies

Uma: eh I believe it. What about you beasty boy?

Ben: sounds airtight

Cj: I cannot and refuse to believe that

Uma: that I believe him over you? Well get used to kiddo. Ya just like Harry, no matter how much ya try to deny it

Ben: one question tbough. How are you a traitor

Mal: oooh yeah, you dunno do you? It’s ugly. Just like every Hook in existence

Evie: if everyone must know. When I was fourteen she flirted with me. And I turned her down

Cj: her mother braINWASHED HER

Everyone except for her siblings: shut up!

Evie: I turned her down. Because. A. I’m straight. And. B. Even if I wasn’t, I have higher standards then filthy pirates

Ben: were you rude?

Evie: pardon?

Ben: were you rude? Sometimes you can be a little bit rude.

Evie: if I remember correctly my exact words were “I’m very sorry but my gang sent me on a mission so I must go”

Ben: that was very polite

Evie: thank you. Plus. I even withheld the information from Grimhilde cause I know she wouldn’t take it well.

Cj: What has that got to do with anything?

Evie: Quinn Harts

(The room seems to grow colder as hades and the Vks, including the hooks, all look at each other uneasily)

Cj: oh. So it’s not because you’re

Evie: homophobic? God no. It was incompatible orientation pure and simple.

Cj (chuckling nervously now because the eggs on her face): but you see I thought

Doug: all straight people are jackasses? Quite a few are. But Evie and I aren’t. If we’re being wholly honest. Your sexuality is literally the only thing I respect about you. If you weren’t a pirate I might’ve even introduced you to my cousin Sadie. But you’re an asshole. So I won’t

Ben: good to hear that’s all cleared up

Evie: we are as well. Now. You three. Get the fuck out of my house. You stray bitches have been here too long. I’m sure there’s a nice posture ruining rock outside for you to sleep on

Harriet: we’re family

Hadie: actually. No. You and straw girl aren’t our family. Harry is. But not you.

Evie: nah. He can piss off too. I’m still waiting for a dna test. Until then. He can rot from the inside for all I care.

Mal: even when the test is confirmed he can still rot. (Uma scowls at her) What? It’ll be funny

Elsa: Jay. C’mere. Would it be completely out of the question for you to replicate your previous spell.

Jay: uhhhh....No. But I’d need a living conduit. Like a performer.

Hadie: I’ll do it. The party’s dying and that won’t do. What? I’m a disciple of Dionysus. Partying is literally my job description.

Elsa: as well as loose morals.

Hadie: harsh much?

Jay: she means you sleeping around with any dude that looks at you nicely. Ready

Hadie: fire away

Jay: To get rid of these ants in their pants/I command thee all to get up and dance. Again

(This is when “shut up and raise your glass” happens. After the song everyone but Hadie, Jayand Elsa looks very disgruntled)

Mal: seriously? Again? That’s like twice in one hour

Jay: had to be done. And it’s of my professional opinion that every time you guys get uppity I’m gonna help instigate an impromptu rave

Ben: well it worked. And it was funny. So two birds one stone. Now. I believe Doug and Evie asked you three to leave

Harriet: ya cannae do that man. Ya don’t have the authority

Doug: ok then. Get out of our house. NOW!

Harry: no I. I don’t think we will.

Celia: get out. Or I’ll throw you out.

Cj: you and what army?

Celia: this one

(Here is glow fuchsia and the wall is washed down in shadows)

Harriet: d’ya really think I’m scared of a little girl like you?

Ben: to hell with this. May I?

Doug: please

Ben: thank you. (He jumps off the kitchen island, lifts Harriet off the ground by her coat collar with one hand, morphs his face into that of a beast and screams in her face) GET OOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUUTTTTTTTTTT!!!!!!!!!!

(There’s a moment of deathly quiet. Harriet whimpers. There’s a sound like a leaky faucet. And Ben morphs back to his human face which now bears a look of disgust)

Ben: did you just...?

Harriet: it’s been a really stressful day with no let up

Ben: uh-huh. (He drops Harriet on the floor and turns to his brother) Gil, buddy, uh

Gil (stony faced): burn the shoes then burn them again then throw them out.

Ben: on it

(He poofs out. Celia turn to Doug and Evie)

Celia: my turn?

Evie: yup. But don’t break the glass

Celia: perfect (she grabs Harriet by the back of her coat) out ya go rummy. (She throws her towards the window making her dissipate into shadow before contact). I’ve wanted to do this for years (she slaps Harry around the face, he too turns into shadow) buh bye you fatuous egotist (she pulls Cj’s hair and the final pirate disappears into smoke) that felt good

Uma: where did you put them?

Celia: eh don’t worry. I put them in the nautilus. Now. Shall we crack on with the party?

Everyone but Uma: HEAR HEAR

(Mal inches over to Jane and Lonnie)

Mal: what do you say we get some air for a while

(They nod and two minutes later they’re all on the bench laughing their asses off about certain unsavoury topics)

Lonnie (crying due to laughter but still trying to speak): all I’m saying is going to my grans seventieth in my ROAR uniform is nothing compared to you and Ben and his you know what

Mal (in the same state as Lonnie): its still pretty damn funny though

Jane: my mother should be here

(The other two stop laughing)

Mal: I know hon

Jane: but if she were here she’d complain. “Leave room for Jesus”. “Time for the lobster quadrille”. “I know you can now but you shouldn’t drink when you have guests”. The only ones I wanted to invite are here. Plus the four stooges. And she didn’t even show up to the party she made me have!

Lonnie: oooh please can I call the squid a stooge M? Pretty please with merlot on top?

Mal: you shouldn’t really be calling her a squid or a stooge. But if you do. Ok not responsible for what happens to ya.

Lonnie: fine.

Mal: now Janey. What say you we try and get all these annoyances out huh?

Jane: errrr...I��m game if you are.

Mal: perfect. (She gets up, goes to the midpoint between the bench and the gazebo and magically constructs a model version of Verna) now. What do you wanna say to her?

Jane: I ha...I can’t. I can’t. I’m sorry.

Mal: it’s ok bud.

Lonnie: could uh could music help? Possibly?

Jane: it might. I dunno.

Mal: shall we try it?

Jane: yes. And uh. You can vent too, I mean, if you want.

Lonnie and Mal: well alright then

(Mal clicks her fingers, a copy of Maleficent and Fa Li appear and music starts up. This is when “you don’t own me happens”. After the song they look and feel better. That’s when they hear Evie scream a profanity and a slap rings out from the kitchen)

Mal (heaving a heavy sigh): and once again. Chaos reigns supreme.

Lonnie: I’ll stay with Jane. You go.

Mal: I’ll send Hadie out to keep you company

(She goes back inside just in time for Evie to stalk past her. Hades is on the floor with a slightly shocked expression, a handprint on his face and he’s apologising profusely to Doug)

Mal: you got it down here? (Doug nods). Good. I’ll go kick her head into gear.

(She heads upstairs. Doug turns to back to Hades)

Hades: I’m so sorry my boy, I was just trying to help, if I caused——

Doug: yeah, no, my opinion of you doesn’t matter. Only Evie’s does. I want to ask you a question.

Ben: uh. Doug. Can I eat what’s left in the freezer? Only I can smell somethings about to go out of date

Doug: yeah sure. There only meat products in it. Go crazy. But please please mute the chewing.

Ben (brightly): thank you!

Hades: what is it you want to know

Doug: Maleficent

(Up in the guest room. Evie enters in a huff and slams the door to show Mal hiding behind it)

Mal (sardonically imitating a British accent): hello Harold (Evie screams in surprise) we need to talk

Evie (fed up): what? What now? What could we possibly have to talk about?

Mal: what I thought you got over earlier toady

Evie (cackles hollowly): THAT? That! Was a fluke. And then he tried to “help” me by getting in my way

Mal: has it maybe occurred to you that he actually WAS trying to help?

Evie: if he really wanted to help then he wouldn’t have abandoned me with Grimhilde sixteen years ago

Mal: oh Christ. You know why he did that

Evie: I know why he did it but it still hurt though. He could’ve taken me with him. He could’ve taken us with him

Mal: they wouldve hunted us down and made him watch as they killed us. Or worse

Evie: that doesn’t make me feel any better

Mal (in what she hopes is a comforting voice): look on the bright side. You got me as a sister. That’s gotta count for something, right?

Evie: no, not really.

Mal: urrrrgh. Would me making a fool of myself help you feel less of a loser?

Evie:...mayhaps

Mal: fine. Remember back before graduation we got paired up for the senior class showcase because verna wouldn’t let you and Doug dirty dance?

Evie: yeah

Mal: Bea Arthur or Bette Midler?

Evie (chuckling slightly): surprise me

(Mal clicks her fingers, they’re transported to a music hall stage with an invisible audience and the song starts up. This is when “sisters” happens. After the song Evie looks briefly empowered. Then deflates and flops onto the bed face first. Mal chuckles at this)

Mal: uh. Sis. Your remember that apart from being the guest room, this is Lonnie and Gil’s room as well, right?

Evie (in a muffled tone of voice): what’s your point?

Mal: well besides both being very sweet they’re also a pair of incorrigible gym rats who always forget to clean up the bed before they leave for home. So it wouldn’t be entirely out of the realm of possibility that there’s still a certain amount of used up gym wear under the covers you’re currently laying on...

(Evie’s eyes snap open cartoonishly, she screams, jumps up from the bed, makes claw hands at Mal in an attempt to throttle her, flails at the window, then looks down at her clothes and screams again. Throughout all this Mal is calmly amused, silently watching her sister crisis. When she’s had enough she grabs Evie by the arm and hurls her into the en-suite. Evie re-emerges two seconds later in new clothes and a cloudy expression)

Mal: lemme guess. Doug make that sweater?.

Evie: of course. I can sew. Doug can knit.

Mal: mmkay. Now are you going to get over yourself and let go of this ridiculous grudge you have against our father?

Evie: you just don’t get it do you?

Mal: probably not so enlighten me

Evie: this isn’t something I’m gonna get over in a day. This isn’t mamma Mia. I found out who my father was in the middle of a crappy day with even more crappy events piled on it. The man I love was put in a coma. My daughter was missing for most of the day. Ive had to fight for my life at least twice. I’ve had no time to process any of this. And you’re expecting me to get over this massive family reveal instantaneously? No. Something like this will take a lot longer then a day to get over. He abandoned me. I understand why he did it. But it still hurts. And as much as you say that you’re not like me. You have to understand that I’m not like you either. I’m angry. I’m angry he could’ve been there for me and wasn’t. And that anger’s not gonna go away any time soon. Either accept that or get out of my face

Mal: ahhhh. Ok. Now I understand. Katara

Evie: what?

Mal: you’re acting like katara. She was mad that her dad went off to war because she was a kid who needed him but felt like she couldn’t be because the reason for him leaving was noble. Dad let us go to save our lives. So you feel pissed that he left us. But you also feel like you can’t be cause of the REASON he left. It’s ahh, it’s a dilemma for sure

Evie: that’s not a dilemma. A dilemma is deciding between chicken and fish at your wedding. This is an impasse

Mal: mhmm, mhmm, uh huh. You know what would help.

Evie: what?

Mal: talking to him. And I mean not just calling him a rat bastard abandoner. Actually talk to him.

Evie: it’s not that easy M. Not when you were raised by Grimhilde. Not when every time you try to talk something out your met with scorn.

Mal: ohhhh. So that’s where “when in doubt, don’t” came from.

Evie: yup.

Mal: you were the good child. The golden daughter. You never misbehaved and you never spoke up for yourself. And now it come back to use your posterior as an entree.

Evie: yup. So you understand why it’s difficult for me. I can’t. I just can’t. Not after how my upbringing went.

(This is when “here I am” happens. After the song Evie confronts Hades in the kitchen just as he’s finishing his talk with Doug)

Hade:...I’m sorry my boy that’s all I know. Hello dear

Evie: I’m mad at you. I’m always gonna be mad at you. But. I don’t hate you. If I’m being honest, to protect Dizzy, I would’ve done the same. But it’s going to take time for me to...accept you.

Hades: I understand

Hadie: per...perhaps it would help if she saw it. The uh...incident in question, pops, maybe she’d understand a bit more if she saw what happened?

Evie: what, what incident

Mal (who’s been listening in): when he made the decision to stop contacting us.

Hades: I’m going to need a wand. And...A hat.

(Mal takes the sceptre, shrinks it down so it resembles a wand, ignores Uma’s incensed expression and hands it to her father while Hadie hands him his top hat. Hades sticks the wand handle in his right ear up to the emitter, to the teenagers collective disgust, roots around for a minute, then pulls out what looks like ash grey smoke tinged with midnight blue and pours it all into the top hat)

Hades: there you go. Just put the hat on the floor and spin

Doug (taking the hat): thanks. I think.

Mal: that looks worse then the hair ball Dude coughed up at his birthday party last month

Doug: how can...

Mal: don’t ask

Doug: ready

Evie: I guess

(In devies room. They’re sitting in the footlocker at the bottom of they’re bed)

Doug: now remember. No ones pressuring you into anything. You can stop any time

Evie: you’re very sweet. But I need to do this.

Doug: well ok then

(He sets the hat on the floor and spins. It goes faster and faster until it’s a blur. Light fills the room and replaces it with an alleyway on the island. They see Hades in his John Barrowman guise arguing with Grimhilde. He obviously loses since he gets a horrified expression on his face and leaves as Grimhilde smirks. There’s no sign of Evie. In Hades’s lair)

Anastasia: it couldn’t have been that bad

Hades (now Sebastian Stan): they both said the same thing. Iris and Hestia will be imperilled if I remain in contact. I have no choice. Please Antoine. For me

Facilier (wearily): only if you’re sure

Hades: yes. It doesn’t matter about me. Do it. Now.

(In the foyer)

Doug: are you ok?

Evie: no. But I want to keep watching

Doug: as you wish

(Anastasia pours Hades a drink and Facillier gets started. This is when “losing your memory” happens)

[hellzyeahthewebwieldingavenger]

I honestly would love to see Black Cat and MJ just hang out more. Because of the love triangle I’ve always heard about how much they ‘must’ hate each other, but honestly I could picture Pete waking up one day, finding MJ and Felicia in the living room having coffee and asking what she’s doing here and MJ just says, “Dude we meet up like twice a week to hang. We’re going bowling tonight.” or something.

They’re relationship is actually more complicated than simply being catty rivals or some such. 

The harsh truth is, for better or worse, writers pitted the pair against one another lightly in the 1980s, famously the first instance of this was in the iconic ASM #258, the issue both immediately after MJ reveals she knows who Peter is and where Peter learns the truth about the black costume.

Initially the animosity was more on Felicia’s end than MJ’s, whether she meant it or not, she briefly felt Peter was better suited to Black Cat.

MJ became Peter’s confidant not too long before he and Felicia broke up and when she was later reintroduced into the titles MJ became more clearly down on her. This is epitomized in Spec #119 (a great Felicia story).

That issue also  ends though with MJ admitting she has complicated conflicting feelings towards Felicia, the complications of which are wrapped up in her complicated feelings for Peter. In the story Felicia single handily takes down Sabertooth.* In a sense she defended civilians and Peter in doing so and thus MJ is caught between admiration and jealousy.

Their romantic rivalry becomes more out and out mean in Spec #123 and ASM #288 which follows up on that subplot. In the issues MJ resolves to set her and Peter’s ‘will they won’t they’ thing straight only find Felicia in Peter’s apartment (he saved her earlier that day and she needed somewhere to regroup). At the end of that adventure though Felicia basically forcibly stayed in Peter’s apartment so MJ was none too pleased to find her there when she showed up to make Peter breakfast in bed.**

The pair remained in disdain of one another after this but also didn’t interact face to face again until after Pete and MJ got married and more specifically after Peter lost his cosmic powers defeating Tri-Sentinel. Felicia had learned Peter had gotten married and as revenge began dating Flash with the intention of breaking his heart to hurt Peter by proxy. She also delighted in makig him and MJ uncomfortable though.

When MJ and Felicia interacted one-on-one Felicia was shockingly straight up assaulting MJ!

At this point MJ obviously didn’t like Felicia but she was not giving as good as she got. Things began to shift not too long after in a storyline that saw Peter give up his powers and Felicia begin to develop genuine feelings for Flash. During this storyline Felicia stepped up and began acting as the muscle for the powerless Peter. MJ still didn’t like Peter was starting to reluctantly recognize her as more of an ally than an enemy. In particular the story ended with Felicia powerless and deciding to temporarily retire and date Flash sincerely.

Whilst they weren’t exactly friends it did get to a point where MJ was okay with going on double dates with Flash and Felicia, considering the latter was no longer out to get her/hurt Flash/steal Peter away.

However a significant turning point occurred in Web of Spider-Man #80. The story short is that Peter/Spidey is missing after he and Mj got attacked. MJ turns to Felicia for help, citing the fact she still cares for Peter and that’s common ground for them to work with for the moment. She gives her a tracking device Peter made to zero in on him. She even admits she’s out of her league on this front and it’s up to Felicia. Felicia of course helps save Spidey and whilst initially claims her locating him was due to their ‘connection’ (meaning their romantic history) she admits MJhelped witht he tracking device. The issue ends though with Felicia admitting that MJ’s device actually didn’t work, meaning Felicia simply let the Parker couple think it did out of kindness to MJ. This didn’t turn the pair into friends, but it showed they were clearly mellowing towards one another.

This didn’t make them chummy as catty remarks still occurred during later interactions (noticably from MJ). I’m skipping over stuff to get to some highlights, the next of which is a big one. 

In Felicia’s first ever solo mini-seires MJ not only appears int he first issue but they are actually hanging out...together...as friends!

Or at least as frenemies. It’s clear there is still some underlying jealousy or jousting to be had, but they’re very open about it and Felicia is actively confiding in MJ, even talking about how she feels regarding Peter. And not just Peter in general, his then current state of being. This was back when Peter was unravelling due to the aftermath of the Robot Parents crap and becoming more anti-social and obsessive about his Spider-Man life, spending less time out of the costume. It got Felicia and MJ concerned. A very significant line of dialogue in this scene is MJ saying she’ll call Felicia later. It implies that they have hung out together before or are at least okay with doing do again in the near future. 

Also this was at Felicia’s home, so for MJ to have voluntarily gone to the home of the woman who once assaulted her says a lot about how things have changed.

Again skipping over some stuff but the next big moment for MJ and Felicia came in Web of Spider-Man #125 where MJ once again calls upon Felicia’s aid to find Peter (though he’s not in trouble, she just needs him present). The circumstances are decidedly different from Web #80. There is no jousting going on. Partially this is due to their relationship having grown deeper but it’s also due to MJ being pregnant and amidst the chaos of the time (Peter was on trial for murder, Aunt May had just died and MJ had been recently abducted by Kaine) she was clearly feeling very vulnerable. 

Vulnerable enough in fact that Felicia can clearly tell MJ is upset and outright hugs her, offering some support and comfort. 

This time Felicia isn’t seeking out Peter less because she cares for him and more because she wants to help MJ and the baby. If ever there was a moment clearly demarking the pair had fully transitioned into real friendship, this was it. 

Whilst MJ and Felicia don’t directly interact in Web #128 Peter makes a reference to MJ and Felicia talking on the phone for hours.

Skipping waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay ahead now. The tl:dr is that Felicia clearly began to develop some feelings for Peter again during Howard Mackie’s run. This became more significantly a factor in the Evil that Men Do Limited Series where Felicia is putting the movies on Peter and also refers to MJ derogatorily. 

Something to note about Evil that Men do is that it gets a lot of details wrong and it’s continuity is wonky. the first half came out when Peter and MJ were seperated, but the second half came out years later and used then contemporary continuity from when Peter and MJ would’ve been back together. The important thing to note is Felicia went back to having the hots for Spider-Man and also being down on MJ

To my recollection the next time I recall MJ and Felicia having a significant interaction was in Marvel Knights: Spider-Man #5. In the issue Felicia has rescued Peter from the Vulture and is helping him investigate Aunt may’s recent kidnapping. Peter was badly beat up so Felicia and Mj were nursing him back to health. The scene where Peter wakes up clearly conveys that there is some tension and competitivness going on between MJ and Felicia even though they are talking in a friendly manner to one another. When Felicia leaves MJ looked really bummed out, which might’e been due to some insecurities regarding Felicia or because of their financial troubles at the time (she was keeping them from Peter).

Later on in Marvel Knights #10, when Peter has resolved to break Norman Osborn out of jail in order to save Aunt May, Felicia going along with him for this, MJ blows up at Felicia and basically tells her to back off from Peter.

In defence of MJ here, Norman Osborn has pushed them to the edge big time so I think she’s having a major wobble regarding Black Cat.

Anyway, she’s not wrong about Felicia as the remaining issues of the arc make it clear that Felicia is absolutely in love with Peter again if Evil that Men Do didn’t make that clear enough.

Next up in Spider-Man: Breakout #2, MJ is similarly pissed off about Peter contacting Felicia for help tracking down the U-Foes.

Frankly...I find this instance rather out of character but I thought I might as well mention it.

Then we have Spider-Man Unlimited volume 3 #14. In this issue, as payback for helping him bust out Norman Osborn, Felicia demands Spider-Man help her steal something from Doctor Doom. Peter isn’t happy about this until it turns out that the item in question was a spider tracer with his finger prints on it, meaning Felicia was trying to once again protect Peter. MJ wasn’t happy to find out Peter was hanging out with Felicia but acknwoeldged she helped protect them.

The next notable interaction was during Civil War when Peter was unmasked, the Parkers were fugitives and Peter was half dead from a beating via the Rhino. Felicia upon learning of this sought out the Parkers and volunteered to even the score with Rhino. When all is said and done, MJ asks Felicia if she wants to give Peter a message from her.

We then transition into shitty post-OMD continuity and frankly I’m not touching 90% of that sans one notable story (Web of Spider-Man volume 2 #11-12) in which Felicia, who has totally forgotten who MJ and Peter Parker are, nevertheless befriends MJ after an adventure to save Peter.

I bring up this story simply because your original question was regarding MJ and Felicia friendship.

This story’s canonicity can be debated for a few reasons, it doesn’t make sense in general because the mindwipe was asinine shit and it has 0 follow up. In fact it doesn’t even really jive with later appearances of MJ or Felicia. It is amusing though that it completes a sort of trilogy wherein MJ and Felicia become more friendly in Web of Spider-Man.

Anyway, that brings you pretty much up to date.

Essentially there are two distinct eras for MJ and Felicia’s relationship. The 1980s-1990s where they have a clear arc transitioning from acquaintances who’re not that fond of one another to rivals to frenemies to outright friends. 

Then you have the 2000s and beyond which pits the two against one another again but in a very different dynamic to before as MJ is Peter’s wife and recognizes Felicia’s as an ally.

It’s not impossible to reconcile the two narratively but I’m not going to do that here. 

I think the second era might’ve been done in order to inject more tension into the Spider Marriage and in fairness, it did work. It was dramatic.

But I personally prefer the second era much more as it portrays a clear character arc. As a bonus I should mention that, since it diverged from Spider-Man continuity in the late 1990s, in Spider-Girl MJ and Felicia’s relationship continued to develop in a friendly manner to the point where Felicia would pay Mj a visit in her office and the pair would chat about their daughters and their mutual problems. In MJ’s case a difficult pregnancy and in Felicia’s her rebellious daughter who wasn’t fond of her same sex partner.

To bring this right around to your OP, the scenes of friendship have more or less happened in canon and in stories that are pseudo canon. 

*Bear in mind this was the same decade where Sabertooth participated in the infamous Mutant Massacre storyline where he and his peers mass slaughtered a bunch of defenceless mutants. Readers knew he was no pushover.  

**Because you see according to Joe Quesada, Steve Wacker, Dan Slott et al Mary Jane was clearly not dating Peter at this time and I think we’ve all brought groceries to our ex’s apartment (that we own a key to) in order to make them breakfast in bed. It’s the single most platonic gesture possible.

[kingofthewilderwest]

How can you be proud of being Celiac? That’s like me being proud of having my arm ripped off by a shark and gloating about how awesome having one arm is. Being broken isn’t something to proud of. It’s shameful you just need to get over it and eat what people give you people in Africa are starving and here you are complaining about food. Grow up.

Sorry your post just sounded condescending like people aren’t allowed to talk about a normal thing like food because you are triggered by food and don’t seem to understand people are starving in third world countries and you are acting like being a burden to others because of your so called food allergy is a good thing. Get over it and eat what people give you stop being a big baby just eat it the worse that can happen is you get a tummy ache. Unless your allergy is deadly you have no excuse.

Heya friend! It’s great to hear from you and I’m hoping you’re having a spectacular, relaxing day! You’ll be glad to know that my emotional low from last night is over. I got a good night’s rest, woke happy, and am ready to blog about dragons and other non-personal things you may enjoy more! :D 

I also want to say I got your later ask. I’m touched you went and learned more about Celiac, and took the effort of sending me a kindhearted follow-up. I don’t know many people who would do that, so huge kudos, dude. It’s cool between us, friend, and I’m not offended. Thankfully I’ve got a tough hide and it takes a lot more to make me blink. I’m just feeling grateful you came to stop by again.

I hope it’s okay with you if I respond to your original message, though. There’s still a number of things that bother me, which weren’t nullified with your final message, which I would like to respectfully address.

I’m sorry if you or anyone else felt I spoke condescendingly or selfishly. I never wish to make others feel unwelcome. I was hoping to vent my perspective while showing that I care about others’ perspectives on this topic. If my words suggested negativity toward the other party, I did exactly what I didn’t wish or intend to do, didn’t even feel toward them, and I’m sorry for hurting anyone in the process.

What my post was about (for people catching up on this convo)

Last night under a Read More, I wrote a rare train-of-thought venting post. As you might expect on a personal vent post, I was emotionally compromised, obviously unhappy, and talking about my feelings. I talked about what it’s like for me to have a squick on food as a conversation topic.

I discussed how I felt uncomfortable but let everyone socialize, talk, etc. about food in front of me, because I didn’t find it worthwhile to bring up my discomfort and find compromise, and because I wanted to put my friends’ happiness first. In the few times I confided with friends that it bothered me, little changed afterwards. I’d rather stay silent and make people comfortable than worry I’m a social burden by restricting conversations on food, or have people try to cook accommodating dietary restrictions they’re not educated on accommodating. Essentially, I constantly fake friendly and minimize my social impact so others have fun and I’m never seen as a spoilsport or bother.

I said Celiac Disease means it’s hard to partake in trust-forming cultural food rituals (dinner parties, gifting food, religious ceremonies). I said don’t enjoy food related socialization because I feel socially left out and unable to bond in the activities everyone else can bond in. While I’m comfortable with Celiac Disease, proud of being gluten free, I said my challenge comes with interacting in a culture that can’t easily include me because of dietary differences.

I mentioned food’s also an uncomfortable topic because it’s central to ongoing mental illness struggles: I had eating disorder issues in college, and also have chronic difficulties eating properly in my Depression swings. Since food is a battle I’m constantly fighting, I have negative associations with it.

To make things clear: there was no point I said I forced others to comply with my desires and comforts, or believed people should be censored for talking about everyday things they liked. There was no point where I said that I felt like a social burden because of pride in my diet, or that my pride was what made me a social burden. I’m not happy that my squick and food intolerance can infringe on other people’s comforts, especially when I know they want to connect with me relationally and I have to awkwardly decline that goodwill gesture.

Aaaaand now we’re all on the same page!

About Celiac Disease the medical condition

Celiac Disease is an autoimmune disorder where the body responds to gluten like poison. Even small amounts of ongoing cross-contamination can result in permanently damaged small intestines. Long-term effects of ingesting gluten include everything from anemia to infertility to osteoporosis to neurological disorders / brain damage to cancer risks. It’s imperative for Celiacs to eat a strict gluten free diet for health.As an infant, before I got diagnosed and was put on a gluten free diet, I was malnourished, with a distended stomach, losing weight. Before the USA required health insurance companies to accept people with pre-existing conditions, I was denied coverage because I was considered a “high risk” medical liability.

Short-term effects can be nasty. Everyone’s different when they have a one-time exposure incident, but the last time I accidentally ingested gluten, I was vomiting, dry retching, disoriented from extreme vertigo, and reduced to shaking violently, uncontrollably on the floor for 2+ hours. It was so bad I feared I’d somehow ODed on ibuprofen (because it felt similar to ODing… heh, the one time I did accidentally OD myself, it was THE worst I’ve felt physically in my LIFE).That time spent trembling on the floor doesn’t include the diarrhea, bloating, headaches, etc. that followed once I felt comfortable standing and walking again.All that happened because a restaurant didn’t take my order seriously when I carefully specified “gluten free noodles.” Because somebody in the kitchen thought I’m some entitled special snowflake, eh? Funny joke to make the finicky eater eat what they don’t like, huh?

Even for allergies with no long-term health complications, I think it’s bad to hold the burden of social “kindness” on the person being offered food. In a situation where someone offers food to another, it’s socially dispreferred to decline the meal. Depending on culture, it can be seen as extremely rude.But nobody should have to HARM themselves to please a gift giver. That’s what happens when people with food issues accept a food gift. Doesn’t matter that the food’s offered in good faith. Doesn’t matter if it’s only one night of bloating and headaches. I shouldn’t have to stab myself in the hand if someone offers me a sewing needle. I know culturally food’s a big deal, but that’s why we contemporary society needs better education on dietary restrictions, allergens, and intolerances. It’s frankly terrifying that someone is called SELFISH for not wanting to be HURT. There’s polite ways we could thank a person, decline their offer, and show we care about them through other means.

About Celiac Disease, pride, and identity

I’m only “broken” because others say I am.You’re not broken for being unable to digest arsenic. You can still eat healthy, nutritional foods and live a full, productive life. Same with me. It’s just my poison’s gluten. It’s easy to eat balanced meals and get every protein, every chemical, my body needs. My body isn’t breaking down.That’s hardly the same thing as a shark attacking me in some near-death experience. And let’s give sharks love, by the way! More people die from elevators. [source! XD]

Your analogy with the arm worries me, friend. Talking about someone’s disability that derogatorily is ableist. While losing a limb can be traumatic for many and requires enormous, challenging lifestyle changes… calling someone “broken” for one less appendage is regrettably offensive language. 

I think it’s interesting in one sentence you call me “broken” and use the analogy of a near-deadly shark attack… and then in the next sentence downplay my issues as so irrelevant they’re just a “tummy ache.” Which is it, friend? I’m thankful you read up on Celiac and now know it’s more severe than that, but I hope when you run into future instances of even people with “lesser” allergies, you might reconsider how you discuss our everyday diet and food social choices. 

I’m not proud of Celiac Disease because it makes me a finicky eater (contrarily, used to menu limitations, I’ll gratefully eat just about anything safe). People with food intolerances aren’t finicky eaters; they’re people trying to protect their health. What I mean by pride is confidence in my identity and pride for the lifestyle Celiac has given me.

Pride in identity, even about unideal sides of us, I think is healthy. We cripple ourselves if we’re unable to emotionally accept we’re imperfect. And I don’t mean something like “proud of being a jerk.” I mean “proud of getting through life.” Pride in experiencing bad circumstances makes sense. I’m NOT saying my diet is Some Giant Trial, but when people go through trials, we can take pride in that we survived, grew, and matured through pain. Difficulties mold us into better people, so while we might not enjoy suffering, we can take pride in the better person suffering made us be. Honestly, in the areas where I have gone through major shit, I wouldn’t change anything about that past; I’d rather have learned from the pain than be the fool I was before.

Pride in our identity is also about accepting we can be unique people, comfortable differing from the crowd. The reason I’m happy and comfortable is that for me, Celiac is a lifestyle, not a limitation. We define ourselves by how we interact and integrate with culture. Diet is one way we can find lifestyle and comfort. Even if I could magically eat rye tomorrow, I wouldn’t. I never would, because a gluten free diet is ingrained into my cultural, everyday thinking and lifestyle. People can take pride in their family’s Thai cuisine; others can feel happy in something like vegetarianism or gluten-free eating, too. It’s part of my identity. I like that avoiding gluten has allowed me to think critically of my health and diet, be confident in being individual from the crowd, and be conscientious not only in how I consume food products, but how I choose to delegate my time and money. I also feel like it’s taught me how to be more self conscious of what others may need, and to be content with what I can have. It definitely doesn’t make me a perfect person (heh, I suck), but I think it’s taught me valuable things, and I’m proud that I can continue living this lifestyle as part of me.Also I frankly would feel weird as FUCK if I could just walk up and eat something without thinking. That’s… that’s not normal to me. xD I can’t untrain two and a half decades of constantly reading labels, haha!

The morality of focusing on everyday woes

Logical fallacies are unsound arguments which use incorrect reasoning. In other words, if someone uses a logical fallacy, their arguments are useless. The Fallacy of Relative Privation is a logical fallacy that disregards information because more important problems exist elsewhere. It fails to take into account that multiple problems can exist on our radar simultaneously, and that we as humans have a right to handle both serious and simple issues in our lives.As you may see now, your first message did use that fallacy.

I’m no Great Moral Teacher… I’m an idiot human like the rest of us… but I hope it’s not presumptuous of me to consider…The existence of starving, dying children in “third” (and first!) world countries… doesn’t mean I shouldn’t help my neighbor’s child when she gets a sprained ankle. Why would I sit back when she’s injured? We make positive impact when we treat sprains. By contrast, criticisms make zero positive impact. Doing kind deeds, big and little, will ALWAYS make more net good than not doing small kindnesses. Personally, I suspect we can’t provide optimal sympathy and change the world… unless we’re able to acknowledge and handle all manners of struggles. Are we truly a kind person if we tout about Big Political Issues while ignoring every emotion and feeling that makes a human tick? Are we providing the best response to someone who’s lost their home in a hurricane… if we’re not comforting them through that tragedy like they’re an everyday neighbor?I’d probably look like an asshole if a friend who hadn’t eaten all day came to me, said they’d lost their wallet, and asked to borrow five bucks – and I said, “Grow up, there’s starving children in Eritrea.” I don’t have to lend the $5, that’s chill, but telling him his problems are nothing because of starving kids is… well… ridiculous. That’s an ABSURD, out-of-proportion response to something I can easily fix, no fuss.There’s no reason I can’t say, “Sure, pay me back next week,” hand him $5, and then when I get home, make sure I’ve sent my $50 monthly donation to [insert NGO here]. I’d definitely be an asshole friend if every time he wanted to talk to me about things that weren’t optimal (rent, a rude text from his ex, grocery bill prices), I just said, “Grow up, baby, there’s bigger problems.” In life, it’s both relevant for me to pay my bills (a small stress) and consider donating to big causes that’ll stop the Amazon rain forest burnings. We’re able to – and all of us *do* – handle both sets of priorities, the big and the little.So why shouldn’t we go about our lives, looking into not only the “big” things we can do, but taking advantage when we can help people with their everyday discomforts, too?I just wish to say this so that none of us continue using the “someone’s doing worse” argument to discount others’ problems. There’s no reason why we can’t respect everyone’s struggles and help out everywhere. Doing our part to make more people comfortable and content is never in vain.

If anyone get frustrated about someone’s vent post again, I hope we all can remember! If the important things in life are Big Issues like world hunger. Maybe we should find ways to not get prioritize our time, effort, emotions, opinions, and investment prioritizing. On one soon-to-be forgotten post. Out of tens of thousands one blogger made. Out of billions. Of posts. From millions of people. On a website. That is used to share furry porn and loss.jpg memes. XD Heeheehee.

About venting on tumblr

When a person is venting, they’re going through a momentary emotional low. That’s not their normal, everyday personality. Lots of people are humble and controlled when discussing the same topics in better mental states. I know I sounded emotional in that post and focused that post on me; that’s the point of venting, though. Bottling up is unhealthy; occasionally talking out what bothers us is useful emotional processing.Even the greatest people have bad days where what they’ve bottled blows up. Are we not allowed to have occasional bad days where we break down? Are we not allowed to talk about our personal feelings because others don’t have the same problem? Does a one-time venting about one issue for one hour make us lifelong selfish whiners?Heck, if Jesus Christ is allowed a moment where he cusses out a fig tree for not having ripe fruit, and billions of people respect his moral teachings, I think we’re ALL allowed moments where we break down and cry over everyday stress. XD

One fascinating issue with social media, especially tumblr, is that our blogs are personal accounts, but followers treat blogs like consumable content. While Maria’s on tumblr to socialize with friends or talk about fandom, her followers want to be entertained by her “product,” her original posts. Unfortunately, this means many bloggers get condemned for being human. They get criticized for everyday reactions everyday humans experience: venting, having a bad day, or making simple mistakes. But this isn’t a professional account of a celebrity who has PR editing posts for public image; these are social accounts of everyday people experiencing life’s ups and downs, who should be allowed to use their personal blog as they will. They’re not cultivated entertainers; they’re creatures socializing online.

Maybe 1% of my posts are emotional venting. I don’t like venting much on tumblr. 100% of those rare vent posts are placed under read mores with tags that make it clear I’m venting. If any of ya’ll don’t want to experience them, you can choose not to click “Read More”. And you’ll never even see what I’m feeling!

Anyway! I’m all chill now! You guys have a great day, stay awesome, and thanks for thinking about the impacts of allergies, intolerances, eating disorders, and autoimmune diseases! I’m very thankful to the people who talked to me when I was struggling last night, listened to me, and suffered through my emotionality. I’m excited to keep talking about dragons and whatever else comes my way on tumblr! Hope we can have fun talking about these things together!

[kae-karo]

I wonder if when Dan and Phil are editing all these domestic moments if they're ever like oh these hoes are gonna eat this domestic shit UP. Not in a mean or click baity way but just them having a good natured laugh about how...enthusiastic we can be. I would laugh at us if I were them. I laugh at us now haha.

i mean i think there’s a very conscious element to what they decide to keep and what they don’t, bc they literally go through every second of every vid to edit it together, and i think the vast majority of the things the phandom nitpicks and points out are purposefully not excluded bc 1. they know we enjoy the domestic moments (whether it be from a ‘awwwwwhhh how cute!’ standpoint or a full demon standpoint) and ultimately they’re entertainers who want to, shockingly, entertain us. and 2. that’s just how they are, in that they’re not going to purposely take out things that they feel are a part of their natural bants or who they are (not anymore, anyway)

so full analysis mode: i think they do leave them on purpose (the ones they notice, anyway) but never maliciously or for self-serving “this’ll get the phandom riled up” purposes - which i know isn’t what you implied, i just want to be clear on my thoughts on that side of things as well!

however i fully 1000% think they sometimes giggle at the stuff we freak out about, i mean phil talking in the mumbai liveshow about how we couldn’t decide who said ‘water me daddy’? and dan absolutely losing it? yeah they def see some stuff n laugh a bit (as you said, though, i don’t think it’s ever from a place of malice or derogatorily! just lighthearted giggling kind of thing, i think they’re genuine when they say they care about us)

[thenovelartist]

The Love of a Cat, Chapter 33

Despite there being only seven people at the table, dinner consisted of enough food to serve twenty and still have food left over. Marinette watched Alix throughout dinner to ensure her manners were up to par. As far as she could tell, Marinette managed to succeed in her task. At the very least, King Agreste never gave her a disapproving look, but considering he didn’t look her way at all, Marinette believed he already disapproved of her in general.

Adrien sat at her left side, his hand grabbing hers under the table mid-way through dinner and squeezing it in reassurance. It gave Marinette the strength to make in through the rest of dinner with a bit of confidence.

Once the last course was cleared away, King Gabriel addressed the table. “Adrien, I would like to see you in my office.”

“Father,” he spoke up. “If this is about the contents of the letter, then I believe there is not one person at this table that should sit this conversation out.”

Gabriel’s gaze narrowed, and even though it wasn’t aimed at Marinette, she was intimidated. “I believe there are two people at this table who should.”

Adrien shot a glare of his own at his father. “Seeing as Alix is the Princess of France and has her own story to tell, I see no problem with her sitting at this table. And seeing as Marinette is my wife and deeply involved in this as well, I see no problem with her staying, either.”

“The topic I wish to discuss is not appropriate for female ears.”

“Sire,” Plagg spoke up from behind King Agreste. Marinette watched at the king’s features contorted into irritation, and she quickly grew worried for the outspoken butler. “These two females, as you so derogatorily refer to them, have seen and experienced more unsavoriness in the past few months than you have in the past two years. I’m certain that you will find them more than capable of handling any topic you have to converse about.”

Marinette gave the butler a fleeting, approving look before turning her attention back to the very displeased king.

“Adrien,” Gabriel said, his voice laced with warning. “Please inform your butler that he is out of line.”

“Seeing as my butler was once a knight in your service that you respected highly, I say he did not step as far out of line as you believe,” Adrien countered. “If that is all, then I believe the conversation should begin with Theo Barbot.”

The king seemed to grow angrier. “There are servants in the room, still, Adrien.”

But Adrien leveled his father a glare of his own. “Did I not just state that Plagg was a former knight? I see no others, and Plagg is certain to prove useful by preventing any servants from entering, yes? So, the topic of Theo Barbot.”

Marinette simply sat quietly as Adrien explained the entire story to his father. Everything was covered, from Theo’s first, horrible attack on Adrien to the regrettably unforgettable day Marinette had entered Adrien’s life to Theo assisting the escape of a criminal. Gabriel sat in his chair and listened to every word. His expression remained stoic, but Marinette swore she could feel the anger radiating from him.

“As for what to do with him,” Adrien finished, “I say that we have enough evidence to pin him as a traitor to the crown and try him for treason. Furthermore, I say all his assets are stripped from his family line. No one with any ties to Theo will take over his earldom."

To this, King Agreste easily agreed. "Done. I will not have the decree announced until Theo Barbot is captured, but consider his assets under crown rule until a new earl can be appointed. I will send guards to his house to capture him should he make a reappearance there, but until then, I will send word out to all guards to be on the lookout for him. Hopefully, he won't be missing for long."

For the first time, Adrien seemed to be at ease with his father, and his father at ease with him. But it was only the calm before the storm because Adrien then allowed Alix the floor in order to explain her story.

Marinette never noticed just how expressive of a story-teller Alix was. She chalked it up to Alix being so gravely ill the first time she told her story that she didn’t have the energy to use her hands for large gestures or make an effort into her facial expressions. If her story weren’t so terrifying or dramatic, then Marinette would have thought it comical how the most expressive person in the room was facing off the most stoic.

“And so I say we have no choice but to assassinate the man!” She slammed her fist on the table, somehow eliciting a shocked response from the king.

He settled himself quickly, though. “Princess Alix, please retake your seat.”

She did as asked, slowly sinking back into the chair. “My point still stands. There is no good way to capture Hawkmoth, and he’s too dangerous to leave alive.”

“And just how, do you propose, we accomplish such a task,” Gabriel challenged. From the look on his face, he was very much expecting for Alix to be unable to concoct a plan.

And while she didn’t, her response was strong. “I don’t know. There are many ways to go about it, and it’s not my call to make.”

“I say we send a small squadron of spies to the kingdom to complete this task," Adrien volunteered.

Gabriel’s eyes narrowed. "I wish it were that simple, but that is out of the question. They have no knowledge of the land nor of this Hawkmoth. They would be going in blind, and I am not in favor of such a possibility."

"Then send Kim. He knows the land and knows Hawkmoth. Have him head the squadron."

"I'll readily accept that mission," Kim spoke up, determination blazing in his eyes.

An uncomfortable rock settled in Marinette’s gut. What Kim was agreeing to…it sounded like he was agreeing to walk into his grave. From the way Alix was pointedly trying not to look at Kim, she must know it, too. She, however, seemed to accept that tragic fact more readily than Marinette. "Alix," she spoke up, a plan forming in her mind. "You know Hawkmoth the best. Do you think he would be reasonable if Adrien and I approached him under the guise to negotiate surrender?"

Alix’s brow furrowed in thought, but another voice objected before she could answer. "You are not going to France, and that's final."

Marinette turned to Adrien, only to be met with a firm gaze. She had to steel herself against it. "Why not?" she challenged.

"You are not going into a war zone."

"If I have to, I will."

"I forbid it."

“If it means providing a significant distraction for Hawkmoth so Kim and his squadron can complete their mission, then I will go and there is nothing you can do to stop me.”

Marinette wasn't sure who was more shocked at her words: her or Adrien. Still, the more she mulled it over, the more she realized she meant those words.

“It could work,” Alix interrupted. "Hawkmoth is brutal but crafty. If you were to approach the castle with surrender flags, he might meet you in peace. It would be easier for him in the long run to negotiate a surrender than continue fighting.”

“So if we meet him with the gems—”

“You are not going,” Adrien repeated.

“That is to be debated,” Marinette countered, “but as of now, we are talking hypothetical situations. Specifically revolving around these gems he seems to want.” She turned back to Alix. “So if we do come to him with terms of surrender, do you think he will make himself vulnerable enough for Kim and his squadron to complete their task?”

Alix’s mouth drew into a thin line. “It would ensure you meet in either one of two rooms, which would provide clearer opportunities for Kim and his squadron. Furthermore, if my brother is still there, alive and well…” Alix coughed to cover her cracking voice, “then he’ll be able to provide assistance to them as well. However, the only risk we run with distracting Hawkmoth in this way is he will likely have his guards on high alert. He will be fully aware of his vulnerability and do his best to compensate for it.”

Marinette frowned. “What if…what if we get him to come here?”

Everyone raised a brow at that. “Pardon.”

Marinette looked to Adrien. “I relent. I won’t go into the battlefield. We’ll bring him to us. Someone will still need to approach Hawkmoth in France, but what if we told him about the gems he so desires. We can use them to lure him here.”

For the first time during dinner, Gabriel looked at her with the utmost disdain. “Any king worth his salt will not do what he can send his men to accomplish.”

“Then when his men come,” Adrien spoke, his voice frim to counter his father, “we capture them and replace them with our own undercover men. When the men go back, they can complete the task of executing Hawkmoth.”

“So you agree to this idea?” Gabriel challenged. “You would put your life on this plan?”

“I would.”

Strong silence hung in the room. It took a moment for the king to break it. “You would willingly go back into this war again?”

“I am the Prince of Paris. It is my duty. You raised me that way.”

Suddenly, this was no longer about the war outside the kingdom borders but the one between son and father. Marinette wanted to stop it before it could continue anymore because she knew barbs would fly and she would have to play nurse for the inevitable loser of this war. While she was more than willing to do it, she didn’t want Adrien to get hurt in the first place.

“I raised you to be smarter than charging headlong into a war when your people need you here. You won’t be able to rule efficiently if you become a wreck in the process. A task that you seem hell-bent on completing.”

As stealthily as she could, Marinette moved her hand onto Adrien’s knee. The movement was hidden under the table, but the strengthening affect it had on Adrien was evident. “You raised me one way, but I watched you rule differently. You took action when needed. You were a symbol to the kingdom. I am only slightly beneath you, meaning I hold similar power. Have you noticed that since the Prince of Paris went to war, the kingdom has rallied together and pushed the war line back towards France? But when it comes to this plan, this was exactly how you raised me: negotiations and diplomacy. The one chance I get to be the son you wanted me to become, and you disagree because you don’t like it. Father, I am your adult son, prince of this kingdom, and there is only so much control you have over me before I overrule your power and act for the good of the kingdom on my own. Now, if you’ll excuse me…” With the air of authority akin to a king, Adrien pushed back from the table and stood from his seat. “Kim, Nino, Plagg, I want a word with you in the library.”

His friends stood from their places and followed him as Adrien stormed from the dining hall.

Alix excused herself from the table with all the grace she could muster after such a show before following the men out the door. The door closed, leaving Marinette alone with Gabriel. She glanced over at him, noticing the hints of distress in the wrinkles of his brow and exhaustion in his eyes.

“Sire,” Marinette spoke, calling his attention. “Your son is far more capable than you give him credit for.”

Anger quickly overtook his expression. “I might question your assessment.”

She felt the barb, but instead of cowering, she raised her chin with confidence. “Sire, I was not born royal, into this world of facades and false promises. I was born as a commoner and taught that your words and actions are everything. Adrien runs on his word; if he says he will, then he will. When he took vows to me, he did not release them even though I once demanded him to. I watched him hide under the mask, adopting a condemning title of Chat Noir, all because he knew you expected that of him.”

“Yet,” he interrupted, “he does not hide now. He is in full view of the world, something I suspect I have you to thank for.”

“Adrien doesn’t just run on his word,” Marinette easily countered. “He runs on honor. That honor drove him to go to war in the first place. That honor drove him to protect me when I could have easily ended up a mistress to Lord Barbot.”

“Make no mistake,” Gabriel growled. “You are still a mistress. Except my so-called ‘honorable’ son has taken you instead of a mere earl.”

She steeled herself against his words, doing all she could to convince herself they were lies. “I am the legal wife of Lord Noir, who happens to be the Prince of Paris. Your son has taken but one woman unlike Lord Barbot who is known to have another mistress entirely as well as visibly pursue Lady Bourgeois. Your son is honorable. Don’t let your anger over his choice of wife cloud the truth.”

The king was silent for a moment, scrutinizing Marinette intently. “Why do you even care?”

That was the most shocking of all his comments. “Because I love him,” she answered. “Because I am his wife and he deserves for me to be the best woman I can be. Because I’ve watched him fight for me, for his friends, for the safety of this kingdom, and he deserves me to fight for him, even against his own father. Your son is the most incredible man I’ve met. He strives to be the best man he can be, knowing one day he is destined to be a king. He is the kind of man who will do what he believes to be best for everyone and will bear the consequences of whatever he had to do to make things right. He’s turned into a man you should be proud of, and it shocks me that you aren’t. If you didn’t raise your son this way, then you failed to raise him well. But if you did, don’t condone him for being exactly what you shaped him to be.” With that, Marinette stood from her chair and marched out the door.

[maskofcognito]

Language and words are meant to be used to describe and converse with others an understanding of intent or meaning. No matter what a word was originally meant to be used as, or what the 'official' definition is, words have always been used in artsy ways to get a point across. Some of those artsy uses then get accepted as an official definition, but not always.

People can tell others not to use words for specific purposes, but they cannot stop it from happening. Language evolves. And when language evolves, it gives everyone more words to use to describe what they mean to convey. Refusing people this is refusing people to voice their opinions or thoughts, and being against language evolution (which would never have advanced enough for the word femme to mean anything other than lady, wife, or woman, mind you [Latin: femina 1a, French: femme 1b]; and butch originally meant 'tough youth,' or a perhaps was a nickname for a butcher [2]) is being against people having the words to express themselves in a clear way for others to understand.

Do you ever remember being frustrated that your points or feelings were never coming across to others? Or did you ever have a feeling you didn't know the language to express your identity or beliefs to others? Refusing others the words to describe then becomes incredibly selfish. Language is meant to evolve in order to increase communication and understanding.

To take a word, or words, and use them to describe whole groups of people, their similarities, things, or beliefs, can be good. It creates an understanding. But to then sit on that word or words and say no one else can do the same is not only harmful to the people who wish to use the word (often in a similar way, though not always), it often is harmful to the people who sit on the word or words. Because it then fosters hate toward said people, or rebellion (I.e. gatekeeping). And let's face it, we have enough hate in the world right now without adding more.

That is not to say there are words out there that some people cannot sit on. For instance (and please excuse the temporary possible insensitivity for the sake of explanation): retard(ed) or other such words that degrade people for mental disabilities, fag(got) or other such words that degrade a person based on sexual identity, whore or other such words that degrade a person based on their work, negro or other such words that degrade a person based on race. In essence, if a word is used derogatorily, it is okay for the group being described by said word to sit on it. It is also up to said group if they want to take the word back and use it in a non-deragatory way. I only have this last paragraph here so that no one can take my words and construe them into thinking they can use whatever words they want in any context.

Language is meant to communicate and understand, not to hurt. Please don't be an asshole.

Femme bi women married to men still have stories about queerness to tell that are worth hearing.

[kayura-sanada]

Opinion on gay subtext. How can you tell its actually their or its just you with shipping goggles.

There’s actually three levels to this. Is it subtext, or is it queerbaiting? Or am I just seeing what I want to see?

Honestly, oftentimes these three labels are hotly contested from one fan to the other, let alone across fandoms. The best I can do is arm you with what we know.

1) Subtext is a ‘between the lines’ bit. There should be several instances in which the idea or subject is hinted at, usually strongly, but never quite spoken of. And it is always in the characters’ dialogue or personal thoughts. “Subtext is not costumes, set pieces, or design,” though these things may be used to help us understand the subtext when it arises. These moments are thematically displayed and present great importance to the story, even when they are never fully spoken of. (Simply being unspoken or overshadowed by other, less hidden themes or messages just not negate their importance.)

2) Queerbaiting is when the theme of queer characters or romances are hinted at, but never made real. The most famous of this, to me, shall forever be the Supernatural teams’ duplicity in Season 8, where Jerry Wanek went out of his way to inform viewers that there was a ‘secret message’ in Naomi’s windows - the message being the colors of the bisexual flag, which went off during a very emotional scene where Castiel thought of Dean Winchester.

Queerbaiting is all about these little moments, often placed into costumes, set pieces, and design, along with hinting, not with important details that will become essential or dominant either later in the story or throughout it, but instead handed to the audience, only to be ignored or snatched away.

It is, for instance, the difference between saying, “this warm feeling inside whenever he saw his friend - it was something he’d always felt, yet he also yearned to get closer, somehow. it was more than before, and yet still not enough.” and, “their friendship was greater than any other he had ever known; they were destined to be together, to help one another. more than brothers, more than friends, their love was distinct from such definitions.” The first clearly hints at a queer romance; it does not name these feelings this male has for his friend, but it makes it clear that he truly does feel something, and that these feelings are real, both to the character and to the storyline. The second merely hints at it, in a way that makes it seem obvious, but that never actually means anything. This ‘more than brothers, more than friends’ thing will never be named or made romantic, and it will never have any romantic notions so much as hinted at within the plot of the story itself, despite the way the monologue could be construed. And the way this monologue was written is deliberate. You don’t place all that together and not know how it sounds. And you certainly don’t do it multiple times, usually with props or clues within the setting, without ever letting these characters actually speak on it or act on it, without knowing very well what you’re doing.

If, however, the inner monologue is more like, “they had stuck by one another, through thick and through thin. Their friendship was more than that of shared interests or activities; he was willing to give his life for John, and John was always ready to do the same for him,” then it brings us to three - ‘shipping goggles.’

3) Usually, the idea of ‘shipping goggles’ is used derogatorily to dismiss people recognizing queerbaiting, when in fact most people are well aware of the difference. Characters who are clearly close friends will often be recognized as such, because they do not have those overblown, ‘usually-used-for-romance’ lines or situations. Some phenomenal examples are Sean and Gus from Psych or even Yugi and Jounouchi from Yu-Gi-Oh! They do not wax poetic, stare into each others’ souls, or give off more than the feeling of deep comfort and familiarity with one another. Study how these friendships are written as opposed to ones like Sora and Riku or Dean and Castiel, and you’ll start to see how very different queerbaiting is from regular friendships. And unsurprisingly, most fans can see the difference, too. They might just choose to interpret it differently, anyway - usually with the similar refrain of, “yeah, I know they’re just friends! But I like to imagine them as a couple, anyway.”

This isn’t ‘looking through shipping goggles’ so much as ‘20/20 vision and shipping for fun.’ So don’t insult yourself with that term!!

The lines between the three can sometimes get blurred, and different personal opinions can affect how far one dips to one side or the other. (I, for instance, fully believe that Sterek is queerbaited in the first couple of seasons, only for the writers to pull back in the later seasons, hence the sudden and contrived romances for both characters that occurred back to back in season 3.) But in the end, while some characters or romances may land in the neutral zone of ‘could be either,’ most are surprisingly easy to label once you notice how they differ.

I hope that helps!!!