#also yes i do know the witcher games and tv show is based on books

[erika-xero]

So, yeah. A fun alternate Witcher Yennefer design based on Anya Chalotra (click the expand button for a full-body image).

As a huge fan of the Witcher book series I couldn’t skip the Netflix show entirely: I watched the first season when it aired but haven’t touched the season two. The first one was okay for me, but it wasn’t my thing and I am not a person who eagerly spend time watching something I can’t fully enjoy.

But! I’ve been watching a bunch of essays on the TV series though, and some interviews too, because I love learning how things are MADE. I found it interesting, to say the least. For example, I learned that the scenario was written in a quite short period of time, that the costumes for an entire cast were made from scratch in a few WEEKS with barely any guidelines from the showrunner.

It made me think: what should I do if I was a designer for the show, how would I dress Yennefer? What if, for a brief moment, I pretend that I didn’t even read the books? How would I dress the character, knowing only that she is a powerful and independent sorceress wearing black and white? Not relying on Eastern Europe fashion, going more fore a bizzarre fantasy wibe? And I came up with this fun design I would love to share.

I decided to keep the color scheme monochrome so the dress is plain black (don’t mind it looking a bit brownish in the warm light), with silver embroidery (canonically she did wear silver jewellry though, at least from what I remember).  I also kept her hair braided up like it sometimes was in the season two. Also the fun makeup and the ornament on her dress consist of thorns and flowers because, you know, reasons. Yes! It doesn’t look like the books or games but it is intended. It was a fun experiment and I enjoyed it a lot.

[letmelickyoureyeballs]

whatever I still prefer henry cavill as geralt. Just cause the book version was ugly doesn't mean he always has to be.

Referencing this post. This is basically a long rant about hot actors in media, and adapting books to media. I love The Witcher in all forms, so please don't think I'm hating on the show.

Just want to start off by saying I absolutely loved Henry Cavill as Geralt and I'm super sad and disappointed that he left. He is a huge Witcher lover and played all the games and read all the books, so his performances were always spot on and he really put all his love in the role. Kudos to him and honestly I can't imagine a better actor to play Geralt.

Now for the main part of this ask. I know when a book or whatever gets adapted that it won't always be the same. I know there will be differences that either improve the story or not, and that some things work better in books vs movies and vice versa. The main gripe that I talked about in that post(that was just an observation; I'm not hating on the games or show) was that the games and show made Geralt hot when in the books he really isn't. Granted people keep wanting to fuck him in the books, so there must be some appeal, but generally, he isn't described as handsome and is ostracized a lot from society for his looks and who he is. He's a mutant. Plain and simple.

I do think the show was able to show this whenever he drank a potion with the black eyes and veins, and how pale he became, which was pretty spot on.

But what I was trying to get at is how every piece of media seems to have to have a hot/attractive protagonist or characters. The audience I guess needs someone that they are attracted to, to like the story and want to watch it. Would half the movies and TV shows out there be as popular as they are with ugly/unattractive actors? Not saying that ugly actors are bad and shouldn't be cast. Just that attractive actors seem to be the default, even when the story is based around the opposite of that.

Like I stated in that post, a big part of the books(besides the main plots) is how people treat Geralt for his mutations and looks, and how that view changes as they get to know him. Yes, he looks freakish and non-human and scary at times, but he isn't all of that. He is a nice, caring, and protective person who does the right thing, even when he doesn't have to. He goes against his looks and it's growth for him and the people around him. This in my opinion is not reflected in the games or show with a hot actor.

How is the message of "Don't judge a book by its cover" supposed to be seen with a hot actor who doesn't look "evil" or "ugly"? How is the audience or the people around Geralt supposed to grow in their understanding of him when the only "weird" looking things about him are his white hair and barely yellow cat eyes that you can't really see? Again I know that not everything from the books would be in the show, but I wish this was one thing they kept in, or at least made more of an effort to replicate.

Another thing that someone else mentioned that I'll link here, is the fact that Geralt would not be ripped like Cavill, and if he did have a six pack it would be from malnourishment. A big thing with Witchers is that they are pretty much dirt-poor. Therefore Geralt would not be able to buy enough food to replace the calories he was losing from traveling and fighting. Another thing that was kinda ignored when adapting the books, and instead getting an actor who is ripped.

To conclude this anon, no he doesn't always have to be ugly just cause the book version was, but I wish that he was, or at least was more freakish looking. Henry Cavill was a good pick, but was he the best one? Depends on what you want to watch I guess. Do you want a hot actor who can use a sword and kill things? Then he's perfect. Do you want more of a story realizing that looks don't matter(random examples: The Hunchback of Notre Dame and Deadpool) who also swordfight and kills monsters? Then maybe Henry Cavill isn't the best.

[medievalthymes]

poppy war would make a super cool video game!

right? especially if it was a decision based game like mass effect or dragon age or the witcher, where what you do has consequences. Rin makes a lot of questionable choices as the MC and justifies it as means of war. if you had to consciously choose those actions, much like rin did, to lean more into the phoenixes powers to win the war vs not use the phoenix but at the cost of lives… idk i just think it would work really well.

i also think another really good video game adaption would the mistborn series with how that magic system works, it would be perfect for an rpg

[itsclydebitches]

Im so annoyed that most witcher fandom content is from the tv show, i dislike henry cavil, the shows not that amazing guys, I miss geralt from the games , tho im sure the novel ppl think the same lol

Having browsed the various tags for a while, book fans are absolutely annoyed lol. I mean, with the obvious disclaimer that it’s not every fan/some also love the show/interest varies/etc. But yeah, there are definitely fans out there who are annoyed with how the games took over and now game fans (and book fans) are annoyed with how Netflix has taken over. Which I absolutely get. I’m not in the habit of gatekeeping anyone’s approach to a franchise—everyone should be as into the adaptation as they want—but I don’t think it’s wrong to acknowledge that the result of this is often a pretty streamlined fandom experience that can grow tiresome. Sure, I can follow book or game specific tags, cultivate my dash around creators interested in non-Netflix versions of the characters, but that doesn’t erase the fact that an overwhelming amount of content is influenced by the show now, making that search far harder. For me, Good Omens is another good example because I feel the same way despite loving the adaptation. I’ve written fic for it! Reblogged countless fanart! I am counting down the days until Season Two! But none of that erases my sometimes disappointment that I’m seeing less and less book-based creations as time goes on. Less interpretations of the characters that don't look at least vaguely like Tennant and Sheen. Now apply that to an adaptation people aren’t happy with and… yeah.

Personally, I don’t actively dislike Cavill, but I’m no longer as much of a fan of him as I once was. I thought he was a great choice for Superman. Then I thought he looked the part of Geralt, but couldn’t get behind his grunting, violent, dude bro performance. (Which, to be fair, might not be his call.) And then they made him Sherlock Holmes and I went, “ABSOLUTELY NOT.”

Nothing about Cavill embodies Holmes. I’m sorry. I’m drawing the line here. Behold, the 100% authentic images of me learning about that casting:

As a side note, I’m begging everyone to read the Enola Holmes books. I like Millie, she did a great job, but the adaptation as a whole did my girl Enola so dirty. I know “The book is better” is such a cliché (and sometimes utter nonsense), but in this case it’s 100% true. Please do yourself the favor of reading the version where Enola actually works hard to develop her deductive skills, Mycroft isn’t an over-the-top villain, there’s no unnecessary romance (the marquess is a child) and the whole thing has a well written, feminist message that’s not, “Token black woman tells off man” and “Maaaabye bombing is okay sometimes?”

Anyway, Enola rant over and back on Witcher, I admit I’m more than a little wary for Season Two. Will I watch it? Yes. Am I sort of hoping the show is unexpectedly canceled before they bring Regis into the mix and the fandom latches onto a horrifying version of him? Also yes lol

[door]

door i trust your taste implicitly so i am THIS close to watching wheel of time even though i thought it looked dumb in the trailer i saw. but please could you tell me what it's uhhhh about? i have seen so many very pretty gifsets but i could not even begin to guess what the plot is & i'm just not ready for that kind of commitment if i don't sort of know what im getting into

ok, so. hello. i love you. thank you for affirming my taste. it will likely make me even more insufferable to my loved ones. :)

i just actually watched the trailer for the first time, and yeah i don't think i would have watched it off of that. i started watching wheel of time because i was very intrigued by images of Nynaeve and Lan, and for the first 3 episodes i largely played games on my phone and texted my friend who has read all the books so he could make vague references to things that meant nothing to me while other things were happening and then focused when they were onscreen. this was a very enjoyable way of watching for me, but it may not be for you! i understand that completely. during episodes 4 and 5 i have become more interested in the rest of the plot, however, so:

some very broad wheel of time spoilers under the jump.

plot?

please nobody fact-check me on this because i remain very ignorant of the wheel of time's world-building, but: a long time ago there was someone called the dragon and they did some big things. was the dragon a literal dragon? perhaps! it's probably been addressed but i haven't seen fit to retain the information. the dragon like. did some things. with the world's magic. now only women can wield it. when men channel magic it will drive them mad (yes this is a pretty gender essentialist set-up). the dragon has now been reborn and is likely 20 years old. that's all anyone knows.

moiraine (rosamund pike) is an aes sedai (female channeler/magic wielder) and she is searching for the dragon reborn. she is accompanied by her warder, lan (daniel henney), a dude who is there to have her back basically. warders and aes sedai share a mind link and since moiraine and lan have been on this search for 20 years, they are very closely bonded. it's a deep, intimate, entirely platonic bond and tbh it rules. they get to a village, locate 4 likely suspects for the dragon, but cannot narrow it down.

chaos ensues: rocks fall, most everyone dies, and then it's 2 grown-ups with 4 children. this is where i clocked out. 1 kid having a coming-of-age heroes journey is one thing but 4 is too many. i'm sorry. once larger, external plot things started happening to them, i found the children interesting once again. i hope this continues, but if not there is no limit to the number of crossword puzzles i can do.

here's what's in wheel of time for me:

high fantasy tv in the post-game of thrones era. i didn't watch all of got, but i watched enough. 5 episodes in, there have been so many decisions made by the show which have set it up in opposition to got. everyone is very clothed (although you do see daniel henney's butt in the first episode. this is not a complaint), and there hasn't been any excessive lingering over pain, pain experienced by women in particular. there's a scene in the last ep (5) in which a young woman is bathed against her will by a group of men and it is filmed in such a way that you feel it as a violation, but it doesn't expose the actress and nobody is salivating. that's plainly not what it's about.

this story is so interested in women's lives and communities, and in such a way that feels genuine rather than performative (see: the witcher). 3/5 episodes thus far have been directed by women, and 2/5 have been written by them. there's also been an encouraging amount of queerness onscreen, both in the background and the foreground. it's not a show that is free from sin (there's some troubling colorism in the casting and i don't LOVE the fact that the community group clearly based on Irish Travellers and led by a white woman all wear their hair in locs), but it seems earnest in a way that is unusual for a show of this kind and with this budget and i enjoy that very much about it.

but nynaeve and lan are the linchpins. nynaeve is the best character by far, and zoe robbins is playing her with such nuance. i love it. and the nynaeve/lan relationship so far is. whew. i feel insane.

if that seems worth your time, then i recommend it! i do understand if the promise of insanity is not terribly attractive however.

[kittynannygaming]

A Magic like no others (Part 1)

Title: A Magic like no others

Fandom: Witcher

Summary: When a cursed sorceress is awaken in an abandoned tower of Kaer Morhen, none of its inhabitants would have imagined how much theirs lives were about to change.

Rating: T

Relationships: Milena/Lambert

Notes: Based on the marvelous series “The Accidental Warlord” by @inexplicifics​

Tags: If you want in or out the tag list, please tell me. If you’re on the tag list but didn’t received a notification, please, let me know!

@ladyhallen94, @thepheonixqueen, @tsukiwolf42, @dont-trust-humanity, @whereheadcanonsrunrampant, @fudgingqueeraf, @naominami, @ashipwreckcoast, @howdoistormspirit, @booksmartmione, @fandoms-are-my-lifestyle, @permanently-exhausted-witcher, @maya-the-yellow-bee, @counting-dollars-counting-stars, @ladyemeraldpigeon, @freerunner4427, @memesanddreamsinc, @jen8249, @rocknrollphanda​, @locktea, @fandom-is-of-the-essence​, @bitsandbobsoffluffandstuff​, @kmcdo216, @separateentity​, @sham-woohoo, @the-bones-friend, @sofiyathewise

Banner:

Sparkles on pngtree

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

English is not my first language

Never played the games

Never read the books

(But I’ve finally bought the first one!)

Only saw the TV Show and fell in love with Geraskier

Sue me

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

Summer 1243 – Kaer Morhen

It all began with a game of Hide-And-Seek. Not a very ordinary way to began a story but not too unbelievable either. So yes, Hide-And-Seek.

It was a day- off for all (not trainees) 8 to 10 years’ old and Dawid, one of the laundresses’ son, decided that the abandoned tower was a perfect hiding place. He was smaller than the normal 8 year’s old, so it was easy for him to fit through the hole in the tower (Witchers apparently didn’t deemed it important because it was hidden and you’ve to climb to access it. Not something they thought a human child could do).

After a pat on the head of his favorite cat (a black and white cat who was the first to be friendly to Witchers and named Brave Heart), he went into the tower, tried to not shiver (they said the tower was cursed because even Witchers didn’t felt comfortable inside) and decided to climb up the stairs.

It was like any mage’s tower, full of diagrams and phials and at the highest of the tower, a room with only a statue and a book. When Dawid’s blood touched the book, the magical backlash was felt by everyone in Kaer Morhen.

So, to Dawid’s half-disappointment, it wasn’t a cursed princess but a cursed mage. But, to his (and Kaer Morhen in general) elation, Marzena was so old that she was born before the Conjunction of Spheres and so, she remembered where humans came from.

The only sore point was that Marzena was the one who created the Witcher’s trials. Lambert was pissed. Until he learned that Marzena had, before becoming a decoration, created not only the 30% success version, but she also ameliorated it to 70% success and she was close to a 90% success version. All the mages who were on this project had a copy of her notes.

The mood was very somber for a time. But then, it was decided that Triss and Marzena were going to work on a not-(too)-painful version. And this is when the BIG REVELATION happened! Marzena not only worked on the Witcher’s Trials but also on a potion that could make Witchers able to have babies!

“Witchers are sterile.

- Not with any of my formulas. You’re almost sterile. Your spermatozoon's account is very low but not blank.

- Our what?”asked some Witchers.

And so, Kaer Morhen had their first official “Sexual Education Lesson”. Even Clovis was a little green

“I didn’t know women could loose that much blood during their life…

- Yes, my dear, as much as contained in 7 to 8 bodies, for the unlucky ones.

- And they can really pass out from the pain?

- Indeed.

- Hmmm” Clovis might be an asshole but he still helped the women of Kaer Morhen carry heavy stuff, particularly during this time of the month.

Marzena asked the Witchers to talk with their significant other to see if they wanted biological children. Apparently, she also found the solution for same-sex couples.

Lambert & Milena

Lambert paced in their bedroom.

“What do you think of it, Milena?

- About us having a child? Well, I would like to but I don’t want to force you.

- I didn’t have a good example before I came to Kaer Morhen and even then…” Milena put her hand on his shoulder and force him to look at her.

“It’s a good thing you’re neither your father nor the elders of Kaer Morhen then, isn’t it? You’re Lambert. You’re my prickly wolf. Try to think about it and we’ll talk again in a few days.”

Lambert kissed her.

Two weeks later

“Are you sure?” asked Marzena.

“Yes, we took the time to discuss it between us for two weeks. We want a child.

- Good. I’ll need Lambert to ‘put his little soldiers’ in this phial. I’ll get out so you can help him, Milena dear. Tell me when you’re finished.” Marzena winked at them before leaving.

Well, good thing she soundproofed this room.

The phial was kept under stasis until Milena was fertile. Then, Marzena mixed Lambert’s phial with the fertility potion. The fertility potion had two phases. The first one bring back forth the ‘human DNA’ the one they got before the Trials. Before they became Witchers. The second one, once the DNA is ‘cleansed’, multiply the spermatozoa until a normal number. It took less than three hours.

It was then that Marzena introduced the potion inside Milena’s womb. Lambert was here, fretting over his love and Triss was assisting Marzena, just in case. Everything went fine. Now, they just needed to wait.

One month later

“Congratulations! You’re going to be parents!” Lambert and Milena had a big smile on their face.

“Lambert! You’re going to be a daddy!

- And you’re going to be a mommy! The most beautiful mommy ever!” Milena just jumped on her wolf and kiss him thoroughly and hug him tightly. Kaer Morhen had never been so joyous than this night.

Two months

“You’re tired and it’s normal. There is another human being inside you. That’s take a lot of energy.

- So, what can I do to help.

- She need to nap when she need to, to eat when she need too. So make sure that she does that. Even if it’s the middle of the morning or if she ate one hour ago.

- OK! I can do that.

- Do not worry my wolf. And what about my nausea?

- Try breakfast in bed. Something light. Nothing fat or fried. Maybe melissa or pepper mint tea? And ginger biscuits. I’ll talk to the cooks anyway. I’m going to do some tests but it seems everything is fine.

Three months

“NO MORE NAUSEA!!!” Marzena laughed.

“Yes, it’s often a favorite stage for pregnant women. Nothing out of the ordinary?

- No everything is fine. I have light tugging, like you said I would.

- That’s good. I’m working on a thing. I wish I could have done it for this month but it’ll have to wait the next one.

- It is good?

- It will be a marvelous surprise. It’s something we got back on Earth. You’ll like it.”

Four months

When Marzena told Lambert and Milena what she was working on, they immediately asked her if they could share it with the castle. Because it was so unexpected and impossible.

“Of course. Will have to do it a few times, because there is a lot of people here.”

The first batch was the closest one: the Wolves, Buttercup, Seraphina, Yennefer and Triss, Ciri, Liliana, Aiden and Marika, Milena’s sister, who was here for a week.

Marzena put her hands on Milena’s belly and the cristal linked to her magic (a sort of frame made only with diamond-like stones) and next to her began to vibrate. After a few seconds, an image appeared. What they saw was unmistakably baby-shaped.

“It’s that…?” Asked Vesemir.

“Yes, that’s your grandchild and now…” A ‘thump thump, thump thump’ was heard. “This is your baby heartbeat. Do you want to know if you’re going to have a boy or a girl?” Lambert was completely awestruck so Milena agreed. Marzena moved her hands a little and

“Ah AH! Well, you’ll be the proud parents of a little…”

Five months

“You’re glowing Milena!

- I don’t feel like it.

- Do not worry. As long as you have someone with you, everything is going to be fine.

- I’m just happy to feel the baby. But I would do without the dizziness and the backpain. And the headache.

- I’ll give you something for that. Did you thought about names, for the baby?

- Yes. But nothing is decided yet.

- You have time. Now my dear, do you want some herbal tea?

Six months

“Are you sure?

- Yes, my darling wolf. She told me that babies can hear music or people talking to them. So, when born, they could relax when they hear the same sound.” Lambert put his ear and his hand on Milena’s bump and began to talk.

“Hi, my little pup. This is your daddy, Lambert. We are so happy that you’re here. Take your time, my darling little one, you’re safe in mummy’s belly and daddy will make sure she’s safe.” Lambert could feel a little kick and looked up at Milena.

“Milena, what’s wrong. Why are you crying?

- Oh! My lovely wolf! You’re going to be such a good father! I’m just so happy!”

They stayed that way, Milena on the bed, in a sitting position. Lambert in a lying position, his head trying to hear more sounds of the baby and his hand trying to feel more movements. Milena was singing softly, one of her hand on Lambert’s hair and the other on her belly. It was a quiet and lovely afternoon.

Seven months

“I need to pee. Again.” Milena sighed. “Jan, I think I’m going to live in the toilet for the rest of my pregnancy.

- Ah! It’s an unfortunate side-effect. My dear wife, Gods blessed her soul, had said the same thing when pregnant with Julita. What say Marzena?

- Everything is fine. Even cleaned, the witcher’s genes means that the baby will be in better health than a normal baby.

- Who do you think will go next?

- I wish for Zofia to do it. She’ll be an amazing mother. And she deserves all the good things.

- She has been with Auckes for twenty years. She had time to process she couldn’t have children with him. Now, she needs to undo everything.

- Yes, I know. I just hope it’s not going to take twenty another years.” Milena stopped walking. “Ah! My salvation! Or at least, my bladder’s. Thanks for keeping me company during this short trip.

- It’s better to have company, particularly in such a delicate state. Lambert would loose his mind if something happened to you or the baby.” Milena giggled and wish for the pregnancy to go faster.

Eight months

“The baby takes its final position. You’ll began to produce colostrum, or first milk.

- Well, since I’m feeling like a cow, I think it’s appropriate.

- The baby is doing fine. You’re doing fine. You’ve got everything for the baby?

- Yes. Vesemir and some elders made a very beautiful, witcher-themed obviously, cradle. We got so much nappies and clothes and bed linen.

- There is no such a thing as too much nappies and baby clothes.

- Zofia said the same thing.

- Zofia knows her stuff.”

Later that day, Zofia came with a cute ragdoll for the baby and Milena knew that it was going to be the favorite.

Nine months

“You’re so going to die, Lambert.

- Milena, sweety, breath. Like Marzena told you…” That was all their family heard before the door closed.

“Is it going to be ok?

- Do not worry Ciri, Milena and the baby are going to be fine. Marzena and Triss are in there.

- I was thinking about Uncle Lambert, Papa. Is he going to get out of here alive?” Zofia answered to the little cub.

“If he’s not too stupid, he’ll just have bruises.”

After four hours, Triss came to get them.

“Everything is fine. Mommy, Daddy and Baby are waiting for you.” The group washed their hands as soon as they entered the room. Milena looked exhausted and Lambert had a smile a mile long on his face.

“Family, I present you Ludmila, our little daughter.

- She has red hair, like you! Hope she doesn’t have your temperament.” Said Vesemir.

“She’s quiet. For now.

- Congratulations brother.

- Thanks Geralt. I’m so happy! Wanna hold her?” The baby went from person to person. A little cutie with a tuft of red hair and eyes which will turn the same lovely brown as her mother (and a deadly weapon against Lambert’s will).

This night, Kaer Morhen had the biggest party they could threw. Humans and Witchers alike were overjoyed with the birth of what was considered a miracle and an impossibility.

The dream that some Witchers kept buried at the bottom of their soul didn’t seemed so unattainable now. And hope bloomed in their heart.

BONUS

Ludmila, or Ludy, was 5 years’ old and quite smart. Daddy said so. Kaer Morhen was the host of elves and dwarves delegations, and Mama told her to be on her best behavior. Ludy was always on her best behavior. Daddy said that too. But, really, the boy in front of her was mean!

“Nithrael! Apologize! Now!” Ordered Filavandrel

“No! She looks dumb!” Ludy puffed out her cheeks and yelled at Filavandrel’s son

“You know what? Fluff you!” And she ran to her father. He gave the best hugs! Filavandrel asked for his son to be grounded in his room with no toys and he wasn’t going to the fair. He apologized to the Warlord and to Ludy and Ludy’s parents but asked

“Fluff you?” It was Jaskier who answered.

“Ludy is Lambert’s, so she has to curse but she’s also Milena’s, so she has to keep it polite somehow. But it’s so cute!” Filavandrel laughed quietly.

And Ludy’s curse was now a thing among the youngsters.

[themerriweathermage]

Author Interview

I was tagged by @sleepswithvillains . I’ve never been tagged much before so this is kind of new for me, but I love it! Tag me all the time! Also you did it again, where I got the Tumblr notification like right as I went to bed, but my sleep schedule is so wack right now.

Tagging: @guardianofrivendell @moriamithril @sunflower1000 and really whoever wants to do it. Drop me a tag if you decide to do it because I definitely want to see what you have to say!

I have a lot of unfinished fics and not a lot of published works in comparison. 

1. Name: The Merriweather Mage (Tumblr)/ RinzlersGhost (AO3)

2. Fandoms: LOTR/The Hobbit, The Witcher (TV), SWTOR/Star Wars, Pirates of the Caribbean, Harry Potter, Twilight, Underworld (though I’m not active in most of them unless I’m hyper-fixating)

3. Where you post: AO3, Tumblr, and I have an inactive FF.NET account

4. Most popular oneshot: People seem to have a real affinity for Meleth-nin/My Love. I actually hated writing it, because I was in such a bad place after receiving news that my childhood dog had died, but I don’t hate the fic itself.

5. Most popular multichapter: Every Kitten Has Claws which is a Geralt X Druid Fem!Reader. 25 Kudos, 3 bookmarks, 517 hits. Followed by Turuhalme in the Greenwood which is Thranduil X Fem!Reader. 9 Kudos, 1 bookmark, 270 hits. Both contain 18+ Content.

6. Actual worst part of writing: I legitimately hate writing fight scenes. I’m horrible at them and most of my fics contain some sort of fight scene obnoxiously enough. Although the best advice I ever saw on here was to keep your fight scenes short because not very many people are interested in a long drawn out detailed fight scene. 

7. Favorite story you wrote: Bards & Beans Coffee Co. Elrond X Fem!Reader. Was the first time I’d ever written anything in the second person. I based it off of a dream I had about meeting Elrond in a coffee shop. I planned it, wrote it, and posted it in the span of four days. It’s basically as if Middle Earth exists on the other side of meridian locks, and it’s set during the War of the Ring but with some of the characters from the Hobbit so the timelines are pretty pushed together. Your side of the meridian locks has a Earth that is basically a continuous strip of land that varies from high-tech futuristic ports all the way down to medieval ports. Basically the farther North you go, the more high tech and futuristic the land becomes. Quite a shock for those who would have never been to the other side of the locks. 18+ Content.

8. Story you were nervous to post: Most likely all of them. Any of my Twilight work though, I always hesitate about publishing. Sometimes it’s because the stories are close to my heart, but I also know that the fandom can be rabid. Most of the interactions I’ve ever had with Twilight blogs are fine, but there’s a lot of discourse about Twilight right now, and while I appreciate that most people are in the right (the issue with the Quileute tribe, the Cullen’s as villains, Jasper and the Confederacy, the actual legitimacy of the Volturi as a ruling body, etc), this is actually one of the reasons I left the fandom from a writing/following POV. (There are many, many things that are wrong with Twilight and not from a literature point of view. For example, Meyers took a real life Native American tribe and treated them highly unfairly in the books, to the point of calling them dogs which isn’t very fair at all, and they have received no compensation for being used and they are risk in the place they live in now. If you have some time and money, I would recommend checking out the Quileute Move to Higher Ground project.)

9. How you choose your titles: For story titles, I like to choose the main theme or a main phrase that is used. For chapter titles, I either don’t title or I will chose something that is a main part of the chapter.

10. Complete works: Out of the 21 works I have on AO3, 18 of them are completed, although one is an open ended and may be reopened after I get some of the larger works out of my way. As for fics in general that I haven’t published or have published on other platforms, there is 2 of 5 complete works on FF.NET. Some of those stories I will be pulling and deleting. The two complete works will be migrating to AO3.

11. Incomplete works: Actively: Sadril-nin/My Loyal One, A Hunter’s Circlet, and Beauty in Brokenness (unpublished for now). I have a few other inactive LOTR/The Hobbit based fics that I might try to finish after the main two are finished. Inactive: Literally too many to count. I mean, when I wrote my goodbye to the Twilight fandom, I said that I had been writing for the fandom for nearly nine years. I have so many unfinished Twilight fics, well over 100.

12. Do you outline: Not usually. I’m at the point with Sadril-nin right now where I’m literally following a map of Middle Earth and cataloguing the journey across the map, so I guess that could be considered an outline. Mostly if I’m writing for LOTR/The Hobbit, I want to follow the timeline of progression for the story that’s already been written. I do have a little bit of leeway in that gap between The Hobbit and Lord of the Rings though.

13. Coming soon ideas, maybe? I’ve been giving you a taste of Beauty in Brokenness. I do intend to publish it, but it’s a constant struggle to rework it. I have ideas that I want to cement in the story that don’t always come out the way I want them to, so I am consistently reworking parts of it all the time. I will also be rewriting (eventually) Crown of Thorns, which is Pirates of the Caribbean fanfic, Lord Beckett X Siren!OFC. I also appreciate the idea of Nestadion X Centaur Fem!Reader, but instead of being a centaur all the time, you’re actually a shifter who can turn into a centaur. Really confuses a warrior elf to see what amounts to a small human carrying this massive two handed sword around and calling him “princess” all the time.

14. Ask me anything: Is there anything you miss in fanfic? In comparison to the actual book/movie? Not really. I appreciate the original works, but I recognize that they can be flawed and so can their authors/writers. Which is why fanfic is so appealing-- everyone has a different spin on the original; everyone has a different take on the characters, everyone writes differently, and that’s the fascinating part to me. The only downside, of course with any fanfic, is the fandom and it can be hit or miss with people. It is what it is, and the liberty of fanfic is that not everyone is going to like or enjoy your works, and the same goes for your tastes. Are there right or wrong opinions? I don’t know; I’ve both read and written some morally ambiguous fics, and some I would like to forget that I very much haven’t.

15. Best writing traits: Same as the worst writing traits. I’m a sucker for detail. I love it. I want my readers to see it like I do. When I read books or play D&D or play video games, I see it like I’m in a movie. When I write, I want you to see it like you’re on set and the cameras are rolling and you are perfectly prepared. I want you to feel like you are in the story, which is why my oneshots turn into series, and my multi-chapter fics turn into novel length stories. I find it obnoxious at times, because I feel like I can’t ever turn it off, but by the feedback I get, some of y’all really enjoy it, so let’s get this show on the road.

16. Upcoming Story You Are Most Excited to Write: Uhhhh, let me go browse my WIP folder. I’ve put quite a bit of research into rewriting Crown of Thorns and making it slightly more historically accurate. I know that there will be a Part 2 to Sadril-nin, because I’m not going to time skip a seventy/eighty year gap between the timelines of The Hobbit and Lord of the Rings. And I really don’t want to submit y’all to this absolutely massive story all jam-packed into one fic. Other than that, I’m also sitting on Through Hellfire and High Waters, which is another Elrond X Reader fic that follows the premise of a modern/medieval world all smashed into one. The Queen of Eryn Galen also needs a proper ending and to be published, a Thranduil X OFC fic; this one will also have a Part 2.

17. Spicy Tangential Opinion: I don’t care if my writing makes the characters out of character. I try to tag that if I can, but let’s be real here. Either I’m writing a character that originally has a limited backstory and a very real chance at an open-ended future, or I didn’t like the canon character and I’m rejecting that reality and replacing it with my own. Does it mean that I don’t or am refusing to recognize character flaws? No, and that’s the beauty of fanfic. You can do whatever you want. You might get hate for it or you might not. For example, I am a fan of Severus Snape (RIP Alan Rickman). Does his character have flaws? Yes. Do I like the way he was canonically written? No. Are his actions justifiable? Hell no. Is that going to stop me from being a fan? Again, no. He is arguably one of the most disagreed upon character of that series. I don’t see a need to defend why I write him the way I do. I don’t see a need to defend him in discourse, and I’m certainly not going to be hateful about it. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion about it. Yes, there was probably some underlying intent when the character was written. I’m not here (unless you’re specifically asking my opinion on it) I’m not here to read in between the lines with characters like Snape. I do not care enough to lose friends over opinions like that.

[toosicktoocare]

I'm reluctant to watch the Witcher solely because of Henry Cavill... I don't think he's a good actor and is basically just a pretty face... Is he okay in it? Is he not over the top?

Fair point.

So I’m not a Man of Steel fan at all, and that movie kind of really turned me off of him for a hot minute.

I didn’t even watch trailer for The Witcher when they started dropping because of him, and I wasn’t really all that interested in the show tbh.

I finally caved and decided to watch it when a lot of my friends and family were watching it (and no lie bc of tumblr lmao)

He’s really different in the role. You can tell that he really put EVERYTHING into this! I haven’t played the games or read the books, but I can only imagine just based off the show alone that bringing Geralt of Rivia to life is no easy task, and you can tell in each scene that he took so much care into really becoming the character. I’ve read interview transcriptions and articles where he actually dehydrated himself for one scene (come on now, tv industry) and he was very adamant about the contacts even though they were scratching his eyes and he was at risk of going blind if he kept them in too long. He did, I believe, most of his own stunts, with an actual weighted sword. Did he have to do all of that? No. Did he put his physical health at risk? Yes. But he really cares about this role (obviously because I know him personally lmfao jk) but while I really only have Man of Steel/him as Superman to compare, he’s really different in this role and I really think it’s because he really cares about and loves this role/this role let him hone in on his skillls.

The good thing, too, about Geralt of Rivia is that his character isn’t over the top at all. His dialogue primarily consists of grunts, “hmm,” and “fuck” Lmao (an actual honest to god mood)

Henry Cavill has a VERY pretty face and an even prettier ass, but he also has an impressive level of dedicated artistry in this role, and I think it’s worth checking out if you want to!

[ladycibia]

Hello! For the Witcher asks: 3, 9 and 14 please?

Hi there ;v; thank you!

3. What was the moment that made you go oh hell yeah?

I’d say episode 3 (Betrayer Moon), as a whole? That was the episode that made me say out loud “oh yes, I like this series!” ^^ I remember finding the first two episodes a bit too slow for my taste (the very first time I watched them at least), especially when Geralt wasn’t on screen. Also, I’m not a big fan of Ciri’s storyline in the show (I know The Witcher has nothing to do with GoT but!! For me it was like watching Bran Stark all over again and I despise him ahah, but maybe it’s just me!). Anyway, Ciri’s got like, one scene in this episode (if I remember correctly) and so I was able to fully enjoy it and boy, it was all downhill from then on! ♥ And I really like the fact that this is also Geralt’s first adventure we get to read in the books, it’s even more meaningful to me this way!

9. Which character is closest to you in personality?

I did a test once and the result was Ciri (it was based on the game though), but I’m afraid I’m not nearly as interesting and strong as her or as…any…other…character…ahaha- (but I do have something in common with tv!Jaskier). Or maybe deep down I’m Roach

14. What do you hope for from The Witcher season 2?

please don’t ruin Eskel please don’t ruin Eskel please don’t ruin Eskel please don’t ruin Eskel please don’t ruin Eskel please don’t ruin Eskel  – AND OF COURSE Geralt and Jaskier’s reconciliation. It has to be a good one. They decided to ruin everything with episode 6 and now they have to fix that >:| Like?? The little exchange between Jaskier and Geralt (before meeting Ciri) in the books was??? So sweet?? But they had to go with the yelling, of course >:( (but if they will adapt Blood of Elves’ first chapter and use it somehow as a way for those two to meet again…I…really…wouldn’t…mind…that…)

(as long as Geralt feels bad for what he did)

[dgcatanisiri]

On the one hand, the part of me that is fully aware of the way that fandom in general will dismiss and downplay the women in canon in the name of emphasizing the relationship between two conventionally attractive white guys is a legitimate problem, only brought more starkly into perspective by way of The Witcher TV series, where we have a canonically “respectful of women” dynamic taking place between Geralt and Yennefer, and Yennefer also being a strong independent character with a narrative of her own who is reciprocally complimented by Geralt’s own development, her story does not depend on him, but the fandom darling pairing is Geralt/Jaskier. AND that based on all the canon material - not just the show but the books and games that comprise the franchise outside of the show - Geralt/Yennefer is endgame.

On the other hand, I’m a gay man looking for the scraps that canon isn’t going to move beyond, of course I’m going to favor the exploration of a romantic pairing featuring two men over a male-female pairing. Especially when you consider that much of the episodes of season one feature Geralt and Jaskier as a combined unit, taking place over in-universe years (decades, even). The existing narrative in this continuity HAS given a significant focus on a M/M pairing, even while establishing and building Geralt and Yennefer coming together. And again, I approach it with a mindset of “I know it’s never going to be canon, but it at least makes me feel like I’m not alone.”

I feel like often, when these critiques of how fandom approaches M/M pairings over M/F ones get made and publicized, they ONLY focus on them as “M/M pairings as approached by women in fandom.” Which, okay, I get on the conceptual level of “transformative fandom is predominantly a space for women.”

But... Really, transformative fandom isn’t JUST for women. It’s for anyone NOT represented in the mainstream - women, yes, considering that women usually only average at best a ratio of one female character to every two male characters in the material, but also people of color, queer people, the disabled... Transformative spaces are where the people who are not privileged enough to see themselves always on their screens go to mess around with what has been established and see themselves.

And so when you get the comments and studies and examinations about how poor fandom treats certain M/F pairings and building up M/M pairings, I do feel like the odd man out in the conversation, because... When people talk about transformative fandom, about things like fanfic, I see it mostly focused on women in the fandom. 

It just leaves me feeling lost and ignored in the overall conversation, because these big articles and studies seem to really never acknowledge or explore the concept of gay men in fandom, that there are gay people (and not just men) in fandom who are looking to represent themselves, who are taking the characters they see on screen and making them the representation they need just as much as anything else. 

Like, sure, focus is falling on a legitimate and serious issue that should be discussed of how fandom treats women. But in the process, it ignores, maybe even silences the perspective of gay men in fandom, the gay content creators who are building the stories that they’ll never see on screen, since usually, even if there’s canon gay characters, they’re with some minor character who literally only exists to be part of their life, instead of being a fully realized character in their own right, with relations with other characters. Then people wonder why they end up shipped with canonically straight characters...

I don’t know, I feel like while focusing on the one problem - a problem that absolutely deserves attention and needs to be dealt with, I don’t want it to come across that I’m delegitimizing the problems of women in fandom - it ends up ignoring, or at least sidelining, another problem entirely. And I don’t know how to get the other problem the attention that it needs, because a lot of the time, people seem to treat problems like this as singular, individual, separate from one another, when in truth, they’re a tangled ball of interconnected issues that stem from a structural problem, but the symptoms are more easily definable than the cause.

[clouds-of-wings]

I wrote this like 3 weeks ago and actually got over it since but @tardigradedeathposture wanted to read it, so here’s the lightly edited rant.

---

I was going to not write about how crap I thought the Witcher TV show was but it keeps bugging me and whatever here’s my rant.

So as my followers might know, I played the games (yes even the first) and mostly liked them, especially the second, which I think is a great game and actually better than the third, which I still enjoyed. The first, well, had its moments. I’ve read the first book about 5 years ago after playing the second game for the second time but couldn’t really get into it, I watched the old Polish TV adaptation and found it sort of quaint but nothing special. So of course I was skeptical of the prospect of a TV show but also sort of interested.

Well good things first. I thought Henry Cavill played Geralt pretty well actually. People hated him when he was first introduced but I think most were won over by his performance. He isn’t quite like the Geralt I know, but that might be due to the script. Second good thing, Jaskier isn’t quite as incredibly annoying as he is in the games, though still annoying. But at least he isn’t a pimp here. Third good thing, Chireadan, because Elves <3

But apart from these aspects, I think I haven’t watched such a stupid show since Once upon a time (which was so terrible that it caused my gallbladder to ache non-stop, so I had to stop after the first half of season 1. Witcher didn’t do that, so I guess it wasn’t quite as bad as OUAT). I know the series follows the story laid out in the books, and actually my problem isn’t even what happens, but how it’s presented, in that story and characterization manage to be tepid and tropey and also illogical and self-contradictory.

Take Yennefer for example, because her character annoyed me the most.

Now I’m not a fan of her in the third game either but at least she has a consistent (terrible) personality and a will of her own there. I read that she’s a better character in the books, so okay. Maybe they butchered her on the show. I honestly don’t remember the book I read very well anymore, as I said, I couldn’t get into it.

She is explicitly said and shown to do very badly during her mage training and to be bad at court politics, she’s barely even shown doing magic before the last episode, but she gets to “ascend”, whatever that means, while the other (far more deserving?) students get turned into eels. Later her teacher says she was the best student she’d ever had (?? when? where?) and gives her trust and responsibility for zero reason and Yennefer goes on to save the day, sort of.

She gets, in one of the most unrealistic scenes on the show, cosmetic surgery that involves an extensive spinal operation and the removal of her uterus WITHOUT NARCOTICS and half an hour later she wows everyone at the prom ball. IIRC, in the books and the games the sorceresses and sorcerers alter their appearance using, uh, magic instead of having some guy rip out their spine. And the sorceresses explicitly make themselves beautiful because “that’s what their clients expect”, just like the sorcerers make themselves appear as “venerable” old men - because it’s the pre-conception their clients have. It’s subversive, John-Karen, because the mages somewhat cynically show themselves to be genre-savvy by exploiting the... why am I explaining this. It’s obvious to everyone except the idiots who wrote the show. The point is, it’s not about their personal empowerment, but they could have done something with Yennefer’s “ugly to beautiful” transformation and they didn’t, so that sucks too.

From the whole way she’s presented, it becomes clear that she would be a terrible mother (”happy childhoods make for boring conversation”), yet we’re supposed to feel sympathy for her quest for fertility. And she’s constantly bitter about her lack of it - when the surgeon told her very clearly that she’d be losing her fertility as a side-effect of the operation and she explicitly agreed to it. This wasn’t something that was forced upon her yet she acts like it was.

Just like in the game, she has zero concern for other people’s wishes or boundaries. I mean she cast magic upon a bunch of people and made them sexually assault each other, and the show just frames it as “sexy lady hosts an orgy”. Then she accuses Geralt of not paying attention to other people’s boundaries because he made a wish she doesn’t even know the specifics of (lol).

Yennefer is a pretty terrible person, which would be fine in terms of character, if she were actually presented as terrible. Yennefer actually has pretty exactly the personality of Cersei Lannister, but Cersei was intentionally portrayed as vicious, power-hungry, dishonest and irrational. We weren’t supposed to see her as a good person and that made her a great character. Watching Cersei was fun and interesting. Watching Yennefer is grating because in any sane universe, a woman like that would not be the hero. That’s also why I think it’s absolutely false to call TW “the new GoT”. TW is worse than even late seasons GoT.

However, the show loves her so much that it randomly gives her super-powers whenever it suits. In the fight in front of the dragon cave, she’s as good with a sword as Geralt, even though she has no training and no muscles and he’s literally been mutated to become a better fighter. In the last episode, she easily deters the attack by Nilfgaard and then destroys their camp (??) with magic when up until then she was only ever shown to be very bad at magic. (Unleash *~the chaos inside you~* god who wrote that script?)

But in the end, almost her whole story is determined by the effect she has on men. Despite all her qualities that we’re supposed to blindly believe she has, it’s her looks and the fact that some men like her constant pointless insults that determines what happens to her. The archeologist guy in the beginning is the only one who stops her from totally failing at mage training. The king she wows with her good looks and her early 21st century dress becomes her employer. Geralt and the Elf guy falling for her. The knight guy she manipulates into going to dragon mountain with her. Her only skill that she is somewhat consistently proven to actually possess is the ability to charm and seduce men with her beauty and her sparkling personality.

Unfortunately, this characterization is somewhat common among “strong female characters”. All the important female characters on American Gods are that way as well. Wonder Woman is (in the film, I haven’t read the comics) close to it as well. Random pointless superpowers, but her story is actually determines by everyone being head over heels for her because she’s pretty. I don’t really know why this counts as “feminist”, but for the media industry apparently it does. I think it’s rather the opposite.

But, god, Yennefer wasn’t the only terrible character. I also hated the way they portrayed what were apparently supposed to be Scoia’tael adjacent Elves in the first episode. Can you imagine Iorveth or Yaevinn make common cause with those planless caricatures? I absolutely love the clearheadedness and ruthlessness of the Scoia’tael in the games. They rebel against human oppression with the decisiveness of people with nothing left to lose. The Elves are portrayed as a mentally somewhat superior race who see themselves as the rightful owners of the land and are absolutely furious at humans using brute force to disinherit them. I love the absolute lack of moral high ground and of “virtuous victimhood”. I love the elitism turned to bitterness. I love the way they frame things like telling Elvish legends as acts of resistance (which is something that has plenty of real-life parallels). I love (since it’s fictional and all) the vicious treatment of human civilians, since, you know, from the Elves’ perspectives there are no civilians among the humans. In the games, you’re clearly made to understand that both the Scoia’tael and their opponents have committed terrible acts, and then, because this is war, you’re expected to pick a side anyway. Which was both easy and fun for me as a huge Elf stan in general, but I love that it’s not supposed to be an easy choice.

So I’m just talking about a short scene in the first or second episode, because that was the only time we see Elves who have Elf-specific problems, but I just hated that scene, because it steps into exactly the tropes that the games avoided. They complain, act irrationally and are portrayed as helpless, morally pure victims who won’t actually do anything that will do more than just slightly inconvenience humans. Toothless! Exactly as Hollywood would like oppressed peoples to be, righteous in their suffering, maybe stealing some bread but that’s all they will do.

Another thing that really bothered me was how unpolished it was. Hahaha! Terrible pun alert. They took everything Polish out of the story, see what I did there? I would have loved to see those houses with the flowers painted on them for example that are based on a real Polish village. What we got was just a bland Medieval(TM) world that could be anywhere and had no discernible features. It also obliterated the charm of the costume design. I found myself longing even for King Henselt’s unbelievably stupid belt because at least it had some character. And the weird and awesome creature design as well. None of it was on the show. Can you imagine that in a million years creatures like the three Crones from TW3 would show up on the show? Of course not, because a female character who won’t give the viewer a boner is obviously not worth showing.

And I don’t even understand how they managed to include Geralt being aware of his outsider status and thinking about it and to somehow make it boring anyway. But I’m really tired of writing and thinking about this now, so this is the end of my rant about like... half the things that annoyed me about the show.

[gwydionmisha]

Re: Witcher and Sterilization

Note: I haven't read the books or played the game and I absolutely don’t know what happens next.  I have concerns, but I also have hope.  Here’s why:

I was really side eyeing some of the choices with the women at first, but I think they are doing some really interesting things around body image, power, agency, choice, etc.. and doing them with at least two of the male characters and several of the women so it feels like a debate you don't really see much on TV. They also do things like the Witcher claiming to be okay with the things done to him against his will, then showing he really, really isn't. I think I'll needa second season to know how I feel about some of the choices they made with the women, but most shows don't try to engage a whole host of feminist issues this hard and at this depth, so I'm giving them benefit of the doubt until I see where they go with it.

Re: the Baby vs. career issue. I'm child free and haven't an ounce of regret about my decition not to reproduce. I also am not convinced that is where this is going to end up. I mean, yes, it might, but I keep thinking about the way things developed with both the sorceress and the Witcher in the last few episodes in their individual arcs. I think it's going to end up with her realising the legacy her career is bringing her is flat out better than being a mother. I also suspect they are setting her up to over throw the old abusive educational system and build somthing better and more flexible that grants more choices to the students. I think they are setting him up to really wrestle with his issues around his own loss of bodily autonomy and emotional intimacy. I think they are dong something way more interesting than making it about carreer vs. parenthood. I think they are trying to talk about how all these various systems and governments they are showing are abusive and maybe wiping it out could allow something new to be built on the ruins, without lampshading all the death and horror that got us here. I may be reading in, but it seems to fit best with the conversations, hints, and arcs.

They've put way to much work into showing all the ways that edicational system is systemically abusive and cruel and tthe ways the "good" kingdoms are fucked up and kind of horrible in their own ways and that the "bad" kingdom while absolutely horrific also is making solid points about the flaws in the other kingdoms for it not all to be going somewhere. The way the "good" systems violate bodily autonomy and force terrible choices on people suggests to me it's at the heart of what's wrong with the system.  So I'm giving them the benefit of the doubt until I see if they follow through.

Again, I never read the books or played the games, and it's a trope I'm wary of as a child free feminist. At the same time what they are doing feels nuanced and they way they are using more than one gender to play with it gives me hope it's going somewhere I'm interested in.  I'm not pretending there isn't reason to worry. I am going to be furious if they disapoint me. I just suspect based on what the show has given me this far that it's using the trope as a starting place on a much more complicated journey.

[languagemadness]

38 Classic Polish Books You Should Know (About)

requested by anon

That’s a hell of a Buzzfeed title, wow! I focused solely on books, but you need to remember that poems play a HUGE part in Polish literature in general. Instead of doing a list of "classic Polish texts", which would include full-on books, poems, dramas, everything, and would be probably 18637 positions long, I did only some of the most important books, dramas, and comic books. If you’d like me to tell you more about anything on this list, cover something more in detail, or make another list — shoot me an ask!

I ordered the list NOT by how much I like these books or how strongly I’d recommend them. The list is ordered from the easiest ones to the toughest ones -- literarily, not linguistically.

Also, I know that the ask was about classical books, which I too included in this list.

Let’s start with something approachable — comic books and "normal" books that are so easy and pleasant to read. Except for the two books about war — they’re approachable but the topic doesn’t really make them pleasant.

Pan Samochodzik by Zbigniew Nienacki

A series of books about Pan Samochodzik, who’s an art historian and a detective, and his job is to solve theft, smuggling, and forgery cases. He’s basically a mix of Indiana Jones and Hercules Poirot. The background for the books is life in Polish People’s Republic, but it’s actually shown not as rough as it was in real life. Apart from that, they’re basically children’s books — very light, easy, and funny.

I’d definitely recommend them, I mean, who doesn’t like stories like that? Plus, you don’t need to be God knows how good with Polish to read them.

adaptations: There are 4 movies and a TV show based on the books, each based on a different book from the series.

Podróże z Herodotem by Ryszard Kapuściński

You can read it even when you’re like 10 because it’s a very nice, easy, pleasant story. An autobiography where the author describes his travels to Asia and Africa and compares them to the travels of Herodotus. Very interesting, often funny, it gives you a full view of different people and cultures and how rich the world is. It teaches you a little bit of history, it teaches you a little bit about the modern world (I think the story starts in the 1950s), and the comparison between these two — it’s really fascinating to see that, generally, the world hadn’t changed that much.

I would wholeheartedly recommend it to everyone.

W pustyni i w puszczy by Henryk Sienkiewicz

The only book I cried on and not because it was so beautiful, but because it was so painful to read. Okay, I was like 11 when I read it, but technically it’s a book for kids, so…

It’s a story about two kids who get lost in Africa and they hike through like 5 countries to find their fathers (who worked in Africa and just happened to forget to take their children one day I guess?). Really, it’s about friendship, dedication, love, all the important values in life. But that doesn’t change the fact that it’s painfully boring to read.

It’s a wonderful story, don’t get me wrong, and I loved it as a child — but the movie. The book I hated. So I do recommend it, but the movie.

adaptations: 2 TV shows and 2 movies (the one from 2001 being the most popular).

Tytus, Romek i A’Tomek by Henryk Jerzy Chmielewski

Comic books. Two friends try to humanize a monkey while traveling and exploring different areas of science and history. It’s funny, absurd, educational, and understandable for non-advanced learners of Polish.

Do I recommend? Absolutely.

adaptations: 2 episodes of a short TV show, a video game, and a movie from 2002 titled "Tytus, Romek i A’Tomek wśród złodziei marzeń" — but it’s not based on the comics, only on the characters.

Kajko i Kokosz by Janusz Christa

A series of comic books which is basically a Polish version of “Asterix”. It’s about two Slavic warriors who have all kinds of adventures and fights with Zbójcerze. It’s all fictional and to be honest, I don’t really remember much from the comics, but I know that I loved them as a child. There are also renewals of the old volumes as well as new stories based on the original story and they’re coming out even in 2018.

I wouldn’t say it’s something you absolutely have to read, but if you want to, then it’s worth your time.

adaptations: A TV show that’s still being made and a video game.

Zemsta by Aleksander Fredro

Language-wise, it is pure genius. Not too easy, though. The jokes, the phrases, the sayings — it is the base of common Polish language. Story-wise, it’s basically Polish Romeo and Juliet. Two families live in a castle and hate each other, a girl from one family is in love with a guy from the other family. We also get some more important side characters, they’re very nicely written, iconic even. The whole drama is hilarious, so yes I would calmly recommend it to people who are somewhat fluent in Polish.

adaptations: 2 movies (the one from 2002 being more popular).

Wiedźmin by Andrzej Sapkowski

I think it’s the definition of contemporary classic. It’s a series of short stories, later an actual book, later comics, and finally a movie and a video game. The book is about this witcher and a child of destiny who’s a witcher-in-training. The main character needs to protect her. The stories and comics, however — they’re obviously about the witcher, but I don’t know the details.

If I’m 100% frank, I have not read the stories, the book, the comics, nothing. So I can’t fully recommend it to you, but I can tell you this: everyone who’s into fantasy is crazy about it. I suppose if you like fantasy, Wiedźmin’s a must.

adaptations: A movie from 2001, a TV show from 2002, and a video game.

Solaris by Stanisław Lem

This one’s, on the other hand, is a must if you’re into sci-fi. It’s about contact: with aliens, other civilizations, the unknown — but it’s not specified, which actually makes the book so interesting.

It’s been translated into multiple languages, so I’d say it’s easy to get, and if you’re either into sci-fi or into modern Polish literature — do read it.

adaptations: 3 movies (in 2002 Soderbergh made it a movie, so I suppose it’s worth checking out, but I personally haven’t watched it).

Kamienie na szaniec by Aleksander Kamiński

A story of 3 boys who just graduated from high school when WW2 broke out. It’s an actual story of actual people and it is heartbreaking. If you want to read anything about the WW2 that isn’t very technical or boring, this book is definitely for you. It’s about normal lives in abnormal circumstances and you get very attached to the characters and their stories, and the book actually makes you feel things.

Would recommend.

adaptations: A movie from 1977 titled "Akcja pod Arsenałem", which is based on the book, and a movie from 2014 under the same title as the book, also only based on it.

Medaliony by Zofia Nałkowska

An omnibus of short stories about WW2. Very short, very shocking, sometimes even disgusting. The stories are about people who survived the war and they are actual things that actually happened. I don’t think I get appalled easily, but those are horrifying, really.

A good recommendation for someone who wants to learn about the more (or less) humane side of the war. I would actually say it’s a must if you want to at least begin to understand the tragedy that WW2 was.

And now we’re moving onto some more… mature books. Those are usually compulsory readings in middle school and high school, and to get what they’re about, you need to have some common knowledge. Nothing too specific, though. And there’s a lot to them that you can enjoy even if you don’t know much about general Polish culture and history, so I would say giving them a shot is definitely worth it. Plus, you can learn a lot if you’re a careful reader.

Lalka by Bolesław Prus

Hands down my favorite Polish book of all times. The best thing they made me read in school and I swear this book made the 12 years of tears and pain that I spent in school worth it. Long story short, it’s about a dude from quite a poor family and he becomes rich for an aristocrat he loves very, very deeply. But she’s a total bitch and uses him like an old rag. Don’t get me wrong, I really don’t like romance but Lalka… I mean, the lengths he went for her, the things he did for her… I don’t want to spoil the book but it’s full of dramatic events, interesting characters, surprises, and most importantly — it’s absolutely exciting for the reader! It truly sucks you in. Not to mention the book in a phenomenal way shows how Polish society of the 1870s functioned and thought. And don’t even get me started on the psychology of single characters. I’ve read only a few books in my life that made me feel so passionate about their characters. Character-building-wise, Lalka is the peak of art.

If you want to read only one book from this list, this is the one.

adaptations: Tons of plays, a movie (1968) and a TV show (1978). Pretty accurate, but I personally didn’t like them.

Potop by Henryk Sienkiewicz

There’s a trilogy: Ogniem i mieczem, Potop, Pan Wołodyjowski — and they tell the history of Poland in the 17th century. For some reason, only Potop is considered an absolute must, but if I’m honest I didn’t read it, so I personally can’t recommend it to you. Potop itself is about a guy who wants to marry this girl but she thinks he betrayed the country, so he needs to clear his name by fighting by the king’s side. It sounds very fairy-tale-like, but the background is actual history and the author himself operates incredibly well with the real and the imaginary.

The thing with Sienkiewicz’s historical books is that they are pretty damn good, so even if you’re not too much into that kinda stuff but there’s a tiny part of curiosity in you, I don’t think it’s a mistake to check it out.

adaptations: A movie from 1974.

Krzyżacy by Henryk Sienkiewicz

Basically when Poland was all… under occupation and non-existent, Sienkiewicz wrote this book to bitch about Germanization, as well as to remind the Polish people about their country. The book is about the great times of Poland, from 1399 all the way to the greatest battle of 1410 when Poland kicked Prussia’s ass. But we also get some romance, some schemes, some awful deaths… The full set if you will. 

A lot of people say it’s a super ass boring book, but in my opinion, it’s absolutely fantastic. The details, the numerosity of threads (that somehow doesn’t confuse you at all), again the imaginary intwining with the real… I do recommend it not only to people who are into history, but to anyone looking for a good read that would explain a bit of Polish nature.

adaptations: A movie from 1960.

Quo vadis by Henryk Sienkiewicz

Honey is this one fantastic… It’s a story about a Christian girl in Nero’s Rome and a non-Christian guy who’s in love with her. Of course, at first it looks like a love story, which it is, but there’s so much to it. The book is a knockout of a description of what life was like in ancient Rome. Everything from history, through society, to things like the time of bathing of each social class — there’s everything. And, what’s even better, it’s not boring at all! Actually, the book is unbelievably well-balanced between eventful, not overwhelming, and detailed.

I would definitely, definitely recommend. It’s not exactly a must and if you want to read a Sienkiewicz historical book, then Krzyżacy or Potop would be a better idea since they’re about Poland, but Quo vadis would most definitely not be a waste of time.

adaptations: 6 movies (the one from 2001 is the most popular one), a TV show, and a ton of plays.

Ferdydurke by Witold Gombrowicz

A book you either love or hate. I personally love it, I’m kin with this book, whatever. While reading it, I agreed with every single sentence, with every single opinion, I felt like it was me who wrote it in my past life or something. Just. An. Extraordinary. Book. Remember when I said that Lalka was the reason why I didn’t hate school? It was, but Ferdydurke is the reason I’m alive, kids.

It’s about a 30-year-old man who’s a writer (kinda), but he can’t write. Suddenly, he turns into a kid and is forced to go to school again. That’s just the plot of the book, however, because the story is simple, absurd, inconsistent, weird, and you don’t really read the book for the story. It’s what the story stands for. It’s about how pointless society is. How society creates idiotic rules to standardize people and to take away any creativity or any will to live. How people need to protect themselves and their originality but they can’t because originality doesn’t exist. And our main character explores all those philosophies. It’s a fantastic criticism of society, school, systems, classes, life.

Language-wise, it’s also a very interesting book. Definitely not an easy one. Gombrowicz was the master of language, the words and phrases he came up with, the ideas he hid within them. The language of his books creates, not only describes, the world from the books. His language is a whole different, self-sufficient being. Rare, striking, awe-inspiring.

As I said, somewhat philosophical and very metaphorical. You need to feel from your very heart what Gombrowicz means to understand this book.

adaptations: A theater performance from 1985 that you can watch on Youtube and a movie from 1991. I wouldn’t recommend watching them, though.

Sklepy cynamonowe by Bruno Schulz

Weird, metaphorical, a bit… insane? I love it. It’s an omnibus of short stories that are a description of the adult world through a child’s eyes. It’s like a dream, it’s impossible, it’s very soft and delicate and magical, really. It’s unlike anything. You feel like you’re reading a description of some very sensual dream. The stories make you wonder about the way people think, the way childhood affects your future life, the way the world works, and they make you realize that you don’t understand anything ever. But if you’re not looking for a deeper meaning, you can read the stories just for pleasure because they are honestly so sensual, sexy (but not porny, more like seductive), fascinating, and just strange, you actually read the stories with all of your senses. Makes you enter a whole different world and I will not exaggerate when I say that it changes your perception of everything.

As I said, it’s unlike anything you’ll ever encounter in life. A million out of ten would recommend.

adaptations: There is a short film from 1986 based on one of the stories from the book. It’s called "Ulica krokodyli".

Cudzoziemka by Maria Kuncewiczowa

One of my top 10. It is a story of the last day of a woman’s life. She knows she’s dying and she knows that all of her life she was in pain. So she recalls her entire life, all the big decisions she ever made, to find the source of her misery and to escape reality. It is a very sad book, but rather that depress the reader, it makes you think. It’s a story about alienation — the main character lived in a foreign country, never got to do what she actually wanted to do, never got to be with whoever she wanted to be with, and so everything she did, everywhere she went, everyone she spent time with, she felt out of place. The book was revolutionary in terms of composition and it explored the main character’s psychology very deeply. A fascinating, thought-provoking, original book.

Definitely would recommend.

adaptations: A movie from 1986.

And finally, books for the strong, books for the advanced, books for the masters. To get these, you actually need some strong background knowledge on Polish history and culture, especially society- and politics-wise. Don’t get me wrong, they’re not bad, they’re just… demanding.

Granica by Zofia Nałkowska

It is about… uhh… society, morality and the lengths a person can go to achieve what they want. Sounds complicated and serious, and it sort of is, but it’s also totally worth your time because it doesn’t really tire you as much as you could think it would. And it’s thought-provoking as well. It’s about this dude who has a wife, a career, and a lover, and he basically ruins his life and the lives of everyone around him — which is quite exciting and somewhat frightening to read. So if you’re into ambitious, psychological stuff, then I say yes! Go for it.

adaptations: A movie from 1938.

Chłopi by Władysław Reymont

It’s basically a longass description of one year in Polish countryside in the late 19th/early 20th century. Personally, I think it shows and defines the society of that time extremely well and it surely is admirable that someone wrote almost a thousand pages describing in detail things such as preparing cabbage for dinner or collecting crops. Reymont actually won the Nobel prize for this book.

Would recommend if you’re not looking for anything too thrilling. Even though the book has some iconic moments like taking away Jagna on a wheelbarrow cause she was a slut…

adaptations: A movie from 1922 and a TV show, which was later turned into a movie, from 1972.

Przedwiośnie by Stefan Żeromski

A Polish family in Russia (actually in Azerbaijan but before WW1 it was Russia, so). They live awesome lives until WW1 breaks out and the father has to leave the family. Then, the son goes a little nuts and joins communists and then there’s a revolution, the son gets traumatized and he runs away to Poland (where he’d never been before) where he’s looking for a prosperous life that his father had promised him. And Poland had just regained independence, so everyone hopes that it will be the oasis of prosperity and well-being once it’s renovated. The book is about how hope and gullibility (but mostly hope) are heartlessly crushed by reality. It is also a story about growing up because we follow the main character all the way from his careless youth through his war-and-revolution trauma to a point where he has to decide about his future. But most importantly, I think, it’s a historically important story. It was written when Poland was a new country and it was supposed to remind people that communism is bad and politics, in general, is crap, as well as propose some political solutions for the new country. That’s the general message but there are lighter moments like descriptions of Polish countryside, a lot of flirting with pretty girls, and even a murder.

It’s a good story, it’s a deep story — but not too complicated. And it’s actually very interesting, and I can promise you it’s not as heavy as I made it sound.

10/10 would recommend.

adaptations: Two movies — one from 1928 and one from 2001.

Pan Tadeusz by Adam Mickiewicz

It’s an epic that describes life in the countryside in the 19th century. It was mainly written to remind Poles who had emigrated to France what a wonderful country Poland originally was, even though it was entirely under occupation, completely wiped off of any map. Naturally, everything there is presented through rose-colored glasses but still, if you’re looking for the classic of the classics, I suppose Pan Tadeusz is the book for you. If anyone wants to understand Polish literature, this book is a must.

Would I recommend? Sure if you’re here to sink in Polish culture or if you like quite full of adventure and yet easy reading. Easy as in the story’s nice and pleasant, the language is rather tedious.

adaptations: A surprisingly good and accurate movie from 1999. And the script is actually the text of the epic.

Dziady by Adam Mickiewicz

I think every Polish student hates Dziady. I didn’t, though. It’s a drama, actually, there are 4 parts of the drama, the last one not quite finished. I think the problem with Dziady is that no one really knows what it’s about. It was written in the mid 19th century, so again — Poland’s out of every map. The tzar is a bitch and Adam Mickiewicz disses him in the wildest of ways, but it doesn’t make sense until someone explains it to you. If you asked me what Dziady were about, in my opinion, all 4 parts are about love. Love for your country, love for your lover, love for yourself, love for other people, love for your family — all possible kinds of love. Sounds nice, right? That’s because it is nice. The problem with Dziady is that if you don’t delve deep into it, you won’t get it at all. The words as you read seem just like random words in a random order, no point whatsoever, skipping from topic to topic, all four parts at first seem completely unrelated. But the deeper you dig, the more you see. It is a very rich drama, there’s something in it for literally everyone, but it requires a ton of commitment and probably someone to guide you well through it.

Add it to my recommendations only if you are desperate to read it and if you have all the things above, aka time, commitment, and help. And language skills. The 2nd part, however, is short and it’s the easiest one, so do check it out.

adaptations: "Lawa" from 1989 is based on the second (which, in order, is the first) part of Dziady.

Wesele by Stanisław Wyspiański

It is such a deep drama that you just don’t get it. Kind of like with Dziady, except this one is waaay shorter and basically just disses everyone. In Dziady, the main character’s idea to show people love was to take control of them. Wesele, however, was about motivating people to do stuff by offending them.

Personally, Wesele is one of my favorites because it is just so problematic. Wyspiański attended a wedding in 1900 and then described it. Each guest in the drama (and at the actual wedding) represented an attitude that the general of Polish society had towards the country’s situation (occupation). And after 105 years of occupation, it seemed that the society didn’t really care anymore and just accepted their fate. Wyspiański was very much against that attitude. So basically what he did was he publicly washed the society’s dirty linen by pinning it onto his real-life friends. When Wesele premiered, people were actually chasing Wyspiański down the streets because they hated him so much. Not to mention that in the drama the whole offending thing is actually pretty profound and harsh. So much so that actual real-life guests weren’t enough for him — Wyspiański needed to introduce ghosts from the past, people who played an important role in Poland’s history. Of course, that was the author’s idea of motivating people to fight for their freedom.

The drama is full of references to Polish literature, Polish culture, and Polish history, so unless you’re fluent in these three, I wouldn’t tell you to read it.

I love Wesele with all my heart. If you want to give it a shot, instead of reading the actual drama, I’d suggest reading the story behind it and the summary and interpretations. This way you can enjoy it, which I think anyone should, without knowing much of the background. If I’m honest, you can’t really get much out of the drama itself. But I definitely recommend spending some time on this book, it’s definitely worth it.

adaptations: From 1973, it’s pretty good and quite accurate, but just a bit tiring.

Szewcy by Witkacy

Oh boy. A grotesque, modernist drama about the future of society, where the author basically talks about how people are doomed and headed for inevitable self-destruction. There’s a lot about how mechanic and inhumane people have become and of course tons of criticism towards society, revolution, capitalism, communism, and fascism.

I didn’t like it, I wouldn’t recommend because I didn’t really understand the language. It was a pain in the ass reading this book and if I had read it earlier in life, I assure you that W pustyni i w puszczy wouldn’t be the only book that made me cry from pain.

adaptations: Tons of theater performances that you can watch on Youtube.

Tango by Stanisław Mrożek

It’s a drama about generation gap and some ideas to live by (like conformism or anarchy). Sounds complex, but it actually keeps it very simple and short, a kid would get it, really, and yet the story actually stays with you. It also makes you wonder about a place and meaning of an intellectualist in society. Not to mention the hilarious and absurd situations like convincing your grandma to just die already.

Personally, I enjoyed it. Even though it’s about quite serious stuff, it’s hilarious, so you do read it with pleasure.

adaptations: There are multiple theater performances available to watch on Youtube.

Balladyna by Juliusz Słowacki

The main idea behind the drama is how good and evil both function simultaneously in this world and the fight between the two. A nymph sends a prince to the main character’s house. The main character wants to marry the prince, so she does a lot of awful things. Basically. It’s a nice story, though strange. A story that you would read to a child, except the language of the drama is… complicated. Let’s be honest — it’s Romanticism after all.

I would recommend it, but I wouldn’t die to make someone read it.

adaptations: There is this absolutely awful movie from 2009 (English title: The Bait). It’s loosely based on Balladyna.

Kordian by Juliusz Słowacki

It’s about this guy who plans to kill the tzar. There was a deeper meaning too but don’t ask me about it, I just don’t remember. To be honest, it was surprisingly pleasant to read and sometimes quite funny (I don’t think it was supposed to be, though). But I wouldn’t recommend it unless you know a whole lot about Polish history and culture — or unless you’re dangerously interested in it. And I mean like, you’d kill and die for it.

Nie-Boska komedia by Zygmunt Krasiński

To be honest, it’s a weirdly good story and what surprises me most about it is that it’s actually understandable, even though it’s quite a typical romantic drama. Interesting, huh… 

It’s about a man who is looking for his artistic self, leaves his family to pursue his art, and then there’s him trying to protect his country. It was actually written to criticize this romantic way of thinking and living, so there are a few moments where the author just dissed other authors of the time, but most importantly, the story is a comment on the current (current for them) political and sociological events, as well as religion, and a way for Krasiński to express his opinions.

Recommend? Meh. It’s a good read but it’s not a must and you gotta be in a mood for it. Also, a solid historical and literary background would make the reading way easier.

My advice if you’re planning on reading any of these? Check the time period of the action. I swear if you do that and you pretty much can tell what the background for Poland was at the time, even just like one basic piece of information, it will make reading the book possible.

I think that’s about it. There are hundreds of other great Polish books that I can go on and on about (I can also talk about these for at least a few hours), so again -- if you have any questions, opinions, requests, anything, ask away.

[scotiaeire]

Ah, Monday....

I don’t know why folks hate Mondays so much. Ok, so when I was working (self employed and before, for bosses which I hated so that’s why I went self employed!) it was always great to have the weekend off, but I’ve never hated Mondays.

I came close to death twice in life (operations, heart arrhythmia and reaction to GA) so it left me with a  healthy appreciation of every day. And Mondays are a human construct. The world wasn’t birthed with the days named and a workforce in place. Just saying.

Today though, I’ll be working on a drain. I’m doing the wee repairs on our Irish cottage myself, apart from those it’d be dangerous for me to do (such as repairing a few of the attic floorboards, because, well, blind in one eye, so climbing and balance and me, kinda stupid really) and will blog about that later.

Just struck me what a rivetting blog this is (see what I did there? “riveting”)...repairing drains. Sorry to anyone reading this! But after so much time spent fighting governments and Brexit and exile etc, this is my Utopia. Sedate, calm, domesticity with the occasional bit of weirdness thrown in (I AM a bit weird for an auld wifie, so fair warning when things like Barbarian pulp novels, sword and sorcery, Viking Age reenactment and various other interests pop up. Oh aye, I’m pagan/heathen too, so there’s that as well) but mostly it’ll be repairing drains and working on the overgrown field behind the cottage.

And, unashamedly gushing about how much in love with Ireland I am. I fought for two, three years to remain in my native Scotland, terrified of where we’d end up or if we’d be kept together as a family. Now I wish I’d “let go” sooner and moved here earlier. It’d have saved a lot of high blood pressure and ill health.

Anyways, why, you may ask yourself, do I have a pic of a handsome Witcher on a horse? Because I’m watching and loving the show. Apart from the script. That episode with the dwarves on the dragon hunt, for example. Ok, Scots (including my own self) do tend to swear a lot. But this was like a competition..how many swears can you fit in a sentence.

I’m auld enough to prefer a script with words that actually mean things. That’s my one gripe about the show. Most of all, I love the music. I came to watching The Witcher from watching an earlier Polish version from around 2001, I think, called The Hexer. Same story, based on the books. And hey, they had decent scriptwriters. You got actual words. Dialogue. And Geralt didn’t fuck everything in sight every episode. Just saying.

Both the Polish and the new series music is fantastic however, and there are some kind folks on Youtube who put whistle tutorials up for some of it, so I’ve been learning those yesterday. Can now play Kaer Morhen, and Toss A Coin To Your Witcher. Seriously obscenely proud of myself at that. Smug as a cat wi the cream.

(watch me forget how to play them by tomorrow....)

A lot of damn great music is found in games, tv shows and films. It’s often underrated. Jesper Kyd (Assassins Creed, Darksiders etc) for one, and of course Jeremy Soule (Skyrim, Elder Scrolls...) and it’s beautiful. Also Inon Zur, who did the music for Champions of Norrath and other games.

(forgot to mention, I’m also a gamer, aye, even at my age, sorry if that offends younger folks. Hope not. I’m not *that* great at it!)

So that was my day yesterday, relaxing, practising music (not ALL gaming/show stuff however...also some Irish tunes including Dunmore Lasses, one of my favourites and The Parting Glass)

So, if ye liked Game of Thrones..and I did, books and show..ye also might like The Witcher. Don’t expect stunning script, but the look and sound of it, plus production values, is pretty spot on imo.

Just, can tv show producers PLEASE bring back scriptwriters who can write actual dialogue. Aw, go on. Some of us still remember what actual words mean....

(PS..Roach: Star of the show....)

[shmosnet2]

Netflix’s The Witcher is a dark, funny, and faithful adaptation of the fantasy series

Netflix’s The Witcher is a dark, funny, and faithful adaptation of the fantasy series

Image: Netflix You learn nearly everything you need to know about The Witcher hero Geralt (Henry Cavill) a few minutes into the first episode. The titular witcher — a work-for-hire monster hunter with some helpful superpowers — is first seen in a swamp, nearly killed by a giant spider monster, beaten and almost drowned. In the next scene, Geralt heads to a local pub for information on his next quest, only to be subjected to ridicule and scorn from villagers who are scared of his supernatural nature. Ultimately, he’s saved from a barroom brawl thanks to a helpful young woman, who very quickly becomes a romantic partner. The Netflix adaptation captures the enigmatic hero perfectly. He’s struggling to survive in a world that hates him, stubbornly sticking to a moral code that forces him into dangerous situations. He’s gruff and sarcastic, always down for a fight, impossibly charming, and frequently irresistible. It’s a premise that worked well in book and video game form — and now it’s one of the best series on Netflix. This review contains light spoilers. The Witcher is based on a series of fantasy novels from Polish author Andrzej Sapkowski, which reached a new level of global popularity thanks to a series of video games. 2015’s The Witcher 3: Wild Hunt, in particular, propelled the franchise to blockbuster status. Every iteration follows Geralt, part of an ancient and dwindling line of monster hunters known as witchers. They’re mutated from a young age to be stronger and faster, and the process also gives them limited magical abilities and prolonged life spans. Geralt is a gunslinger type, moseying into a town in trouble, slaying the inevitable magical beast, collecting his pay, and moving on.

Image: Netflix In this way, The Witcher is different than most fantasy stories, including obvious contemporaries like Game of Thrones. It does have the elements of a vast epic tale — including plenty of political machinations and lots of warring kingdoms — but at its best, The Witcher is like a fantastical detective series, with Geralt investigating dangerous magical creatures and inevitably being pulled into much bigger conspiracies. The structure feels true to the spirit of the series What makes the new show work so well is the way it seamlessly blends together these two types of storytelling. There is an interesting overarching story. In addition to Geralt, the show also follows Ciri, a young princess with mysterious powers who is on the run from a rival kingdom, and Yennefer, a fiercely independent sorceress with grand ambitions. Viewers follow along as their three paths inevitably intertwine. But instead of the serialized approach favored by prestige television, for much of its runtime The Witcher has more of a “creature of the week” structure. (This changes in the final two episodes as the season rushes towards a conclusion that very clearly sets up the second season.) Each episode — many of which are based explicitly on short stories from the books — tasks Geralt with solving a different monster-related problem, whether that’s a princess turned into a beast, or a vengeful djinn who has cursed his best friend, the bard Dandelion (who primarily goes by Jaskier in the show). The structure feels true to the spirit of the series, while also making it work well for television. It also means that the show demands a bit more from viewers. Events in The Witcher don’t always unfold in chronological order, and there’s no explicit indication of whether you’re watching a scene in the past or present. Instead, you have to sort out the timing based on contextual clues: a line about an event you’ve already seen, or how close two characters have become. (Figuring out the timing isn’t helped by the fact that witchers and sorcerers barely age.) It took me a few episodes to get a solid sense of things. This also means The Witcher benefits from repeat viewings, where you can pick up on small details you may have missed the first time. The most important part of The Witcher, though, is Geralt himself. I’ll admit: I was nervous after seeing the initial photos of Henry Cavill in a Party City-esque white wig, but he absolutely nails the role. His Geralt is the exact right blend of scary, sexy, and sarcastic. Even his gravelly voice is perfect. The wig may look strange at times, but ultimately it doesn’t distract from what makes Geralt interesting. You even get to see him in multiple bath scenes.

Image: Netflix As a TV show, The Witcher is particularly refreshing in an era full of nihilistic fantasy stories inspired by Game of Thrones. Yes, the show gets brutal at times. The wonderfully choreographed fight scenes are extremely violent, as is one very particular and hard-to-watch magical transformation. It’s a show where — shock! — the bad guys are usually humans, not monsters. What makes The Witcher feel different, though, is in the details. These stories aren’t full of people being awful for the sake of it; they’re making choices based on love or survival, and then things go wrong. What makes The Witcher so compelling is how it delves into these gray areas, exploring why people do what they do. By the end, you’ll have some measure of sympathy for almost everyone, no matter how irredeemable they might seem at first. ‘The Witcher’ has a sense of humor Crucially, The Witcher has a sense of humor. It’s not all dark and dire. Jaskier (Joey Batey) frequently plays the comedy relief, following Geralt around despite not being welcome, in order to turn Geralt’s exploits into song, sometimes breaking the fourth wall in the process. “There I go again,” he says at one point, “just delivering exposition.” When he meets the witcher for the first time, the bard tells him “I love the way you just sit in a corner and brood.” Meanwhile, Geralt’s quietly sarcastic nature is on full display. He can cut through any situation, no matter how awkward or horrible, with a frustrated “fuck.” And one of the show’s most dramatic sex scenes is accompanied by a playful jig and gawking onlookers making jokes. The Witcher could’ve very easily turned out wrong. It’s not hard to misinterpret what it is that actually makes the series interesting, but the TV adaptation gets it. The Witcher is funny, intense, and uncomfortable, and it balances out those disparate emotions almost perfectly. Yes, it stars Henry Cavill in a bad white wig, but you’ll forget about all of that as soon as he starts talking.

https://ift.tt/2sKqu0y . Foreign Articles December 20, 2019 at 03:40PM

[boxxkitt]

Questions #1-216 please.

1: My name? My name is Kitt!2: Do I have any nicknames? My nickname is Kitt owo” I don’t use my real name anymore.3: Zodiac sign? I’m a Leo but I was born on the Cancer-Leo cusp4: Video game I play to chill, not to win? Dragon Age: Inquisition/Hollow Knight5: Book/series I reread? Fullmetal Alchemist, Hotblood!, Tsubasa.6: Aliens or ghosts? Ghost! I feel like I’ve seen them before and felt them before. Aliens are cool too.7: Writer I trust enough to read whatever they write?I dunno, I don’t read too much.8: Favourite radio station? 107.5 XM9: Favourite flavour of anything? Favorite flavor of ice cream is Rocky Road and Coffee.10: The word that I use all the time to describe something great? Rad, Snazzy, Groovy.11: Favourite song? [This one!] I promise it’s not a Rick Roll.12: The question you ask new friends to get to know them better? Who do you think you would be in a zombie apocalypse and why?13: Favourite word? Not too sure, probably Snazzy.14: The last person who hurt me, did I forgive them? Dunno, forgive and forget my dudes.15: Last song I listened to? This one .////. I like it too much.16: TV show I always recommend? Brooklyn 99, Parks and Rec, Stranger Things, Ald.Noah 017: Pirates or ninjas? Pirates?18: Movie I watch when I'm feeling down? The Star Wars Trilogies or Marvel movies.19: Song that I always start my shuffle with/wake-up song/always-on-a-loop song? I usually start my shuffle with my most recent favorite song. Wake up song is definetly “I’m walking on sunshine” or “On my Way.”On loop is you guessed it, [X]20: Favourite video games? Dragon Age: Inquisition, Uncharted series, Witcher Trilogy, Titanfall, Overwatch, Telltale Walking Dead games.21: What am I most afraid of? Living an unfulfilled life full of regret and the dark.22: A good quality of mine? My undying compassion and patience for others.23: A bad quality of mine? I can be stubborn and lazy at times.24: Cats or dogs? I love kitties!25: Actor/actress you trust enough to watch whatever they're in? Oscar Isaac, Matt Damon26: Favourite season? The Fall and Winter, I have terrible allergies. Like people say that a lot but, I’m allergic to about 48 of 50 plants in Vegas [where I live] and on a scale of 1-4 most are 2-3 with some being 4.27: Am I in a relationship? >;3c28: Something I miss? Being able to see my friends everyday like back in High School.29: My best friend(s)?@air-a-shii@bigsasuke 30: Eye colour? Brown or Hazel?31: Hair colour? I have graying black hair with flecks of white.32: Someone I love? Too many to chose from [like 4 people]33: Someone I trust? My cat, Princess.34: Someone I always think about? My cat and how much I miss her.35: Am I excited about anything? I’m going to a Panic! At the Disco concert in 20 days!36: My current obsession? Cowboy Bepbop37: Favourite TV shows as a child? Drake and Josh or The Price is Right.38: Do I have someone of the opposite sex that I can tell everything to? @air-a-shii​ @bigsasuke​39: Am I superstitious? I believe that most “superstitions are based in some kind of fact.40: What do I think about most? How fickle some people's beliefs are, I won’t challenge or question people's beliefs too much if I think they are being good about it. When people start preaching how that I’m gonna go to hell or other such place because I don’t believe in their religion, I get mad. I was raised Catholic, I like the ideas that Catholicism put out, like the 10 commandments are a good list of rules. But I think people should believe in ideas and not a faith, Catholics preach loving your neighbor but some believe that being gay is a sin, others hate people of the Islamic faith because of their so called, “terrorist faith”, or they believe a country built on the very concept of immigration should wall off their borders because of [insert “Non-Racist” complaint]” Believe what you want, but just remember, faith is still an opinion, treat it like so.41: Do I have any strange phobias?No, don’t think so?42: Do I prefer to be in front of the camera or behind it? I like saving a moment but I also like being the one in the moment. So either is good enough for me.43: Favourite hobbies? Drawing, amateur story writing, video gaming. 44: Last book I read? HOTBLOOD!45: Last film I watched? Disney(1999) Tarzan46: Do I play any instruments? No I do not but, I would love to play the flute and viola.47: Favorite animal? Fox, Dumbo Octopus, and Cat.48: Top 5 blog on Tumblr that I follow!@air-a-shii@bigsasuke@princessharumi@8owties@ahegao-queen49: Superpower I wish I could have? I dunno, maybe something like Doctor Strange where I have mystic abilities.50: How do I de-stress? “That’s my secret Cap. I’m always stressed.”51: Do I like confrontation? I don’t mind it when it’s called for, I try to defuse before it gets there.52: When do I feel most at peace? When I’m with close friends.53: What makes me smile? Friends telling me they love me, hanging out with good friends, dancing.54: Do I sleep with the lights on or off? It needs to be dark when I sleep but I can sleep with the lights on. 55: Play any sports? I don’t because I have asthma, I like biking though and volleyball is always fun.56: What is my song of the week? Remember '0857: Favourite drink? LEMONADE58: When did I last send a handwritten letter to somebody? Like in the mail, never? By hand like59: Afraid of heights? Yeah.60: Pet peeve? When people apologize “too much” or for things they can’t control. 61: What was the last concert I went to see? Big Bad Voodoo Daddy62: Am I vegetarian/vegan/pescatarian?Nah. I think it’s good in concept but I could never do it.63: What occupation did I want to do when I was younger? Veterinarian64: Have I ever had a friend turn enemy?Yes, many.65: What fictional universe would I like to be a part of? The Marvel Universe66: Something I worry about?Yes.67: Scared of the dark? I’m more scared of not being able to see.68: Who are my best friends?@air-a-shii@bigsasuke69: What do I admire most about others? Their personalities and precious time that they spend with me.70: Can I sing? Just because you can sing, doesn’t mean you should. I am the definition of that phrase. 71: Something I wish I could do? Maybe travel around for awhile with all expenses paid.72: If I won the lottery, what would I do? Donate a lot of it while putting some away for my own personal use. I would buy land from private owners then give it to the government so that they can turn them into parks/national parks, have them make it in my name. Pay off all of my parents debts as well as my own, then reap all the tax deductions based off my newly founded parks owo.73: Have I ever skipped school? Yea u//w//u74: Favourite place on the planet? The forest or the arms of my friends as they hug me.75: Where do I want to live? Maybe some where that rains often.76: Do I have any pets?Yes, I have a cat named Princess that lives with my parents.77: What is my current desktop picture? Pictures of Peridot, Nepeta and Pidge from the tumblr.78: Early bird or night owl? Both owo” I stay up late and wake up at 900 am - 1030 am every morning.79: Sunsets or sunrise? I like both, I like seeing the new day arrive and I like seeing the day leave us with hopefully good memory.80: Can I drive? I can but, I don’t have my license.81: Story behind my last kiss? I don’t remember my last kiss.82: Earphones or headphones? I like headphones better, better sound quality.83: Have I ever had braces? Yeah, for 7 years. owo”84: Story behind one of my scars? I have a faded scar behind my right ear, Ipicked up my at time friend Jessi up, she started so slip and trying to not drop her I accidentally grabbed her butt. She dug her nails into her my neck out of shock and scared me on the back of my ear.85: Favourite genre of music? Alternative rock!86: Who is my hero? I dunno.87: Favourite comic book character? Daredevil and Captain Marvel [Carol Danvers]88: What makes me really angry? Ignorant religious people, ignorant people.89: Kindle or real book? I like Kindles, they reduce paper waste but, I like holding books.90: Favourite sporty activity? Biking and Volleyball91: What is one thing that isn’t tight in schools that should be? School lunches.92: What was my favourite subject at school? U.S. Government, and World History.93: Siblings? I have a younger sister and a baby brother, my cousin grew up with us so her too.94: What was the last thing I bought? Salsa and Ice cream95: How tall am I? 5’ 9 last time I checked.96: Can I cook? YES! I love cooking.97: Can I bake? YES, I love baking too!98: 3 things I love? Friends, Animals, Rainy Day naps.99: 3 things I hate? People who are dicks, domestic assault rifles, the belittling of people.100: Do I have more girl friends or boy friends? Girl friends101: Who do I get on with better, girls or boys? Girls102: Where was I born? Las Vegas103: Sexual orientation? Bi curious104: Where do I currently live? Las Vegas105: Last person I texted? My house mate messaged me they touched down at the airport106: Last time I cried? owo” dunno107: Guilty pleasure? Not sure. (Selfies)108: Favourite Youtuber? Markiplier109: A photo of myself. Maybe later.110: Do I like selfies? Love111: Favourite game app? 1010!112: My relationship with my parents? Better now that I’ve moved out.113: Favourite accents? East coast accents and Korean accents.114: A place I have not been but wish to visit? Seoul, Korea and Kyoto, Japan115: Favourite number? 7 and 8116: Can I juggle? No.117: Am I religious? Eh.118: Do I like space? LOVE.119: Do I like the deep ocean? DEEP FEAR120: Am I much of a daredevil? Yeah I love to try new things.121: Am I allergic to anything? A lot of plants.122: Can I curl my tongue? Ye.123: Can I wiggle my ears? Yeah, when I get peeved my ears perk up apparently.124: Do I like clowns? Fuck no.125: The Beatles or Elvis? Elvis to be honest.126: My current project? A story called, “When All are Gone, Who Will Remember?”127: Am I a bad loser? Sometimes.128: Do I admit when I wrong? I try my hardest.129: Forest or beach? FOREST, the Beach is scary to me.130: Favourite piece of advice? “Death is only the end if you assume the story is about you.” and “Whisper a dangerous secret to someone you care about. Now they have the power to destroy you, but they won’t. This is what love it.”131: Am I a good liar? Yeah.132: Hogwarts house / Divergent faction / Hunger Games district? Ravenclaw, Erdite, District 2133: Do I talk to myself? Yeah I do.134: Am I very social? Yeah! I like talking to people but I do burn out.135: Do I like gossip? Just a tad.136: Do I keep a journal/diary? I do but it’s only when I need to vent to someone and I can’t do it to a person.137: Have I ever hopelessly failed a test? Yeah.138: Do I believe in second chances? Depends on who and how bad the first chance was.139: If I found a wallet full of cash on the ground, what would I do? I dunno, try and find the person whose it is. Maybe keep it.140: Do I believe people are capable of change? Yes, people can change.141: Have I ever been underweight? Nope, I’ve always been overweight.142: Am I ticklish? [No comment]143: Have I ever been in a submarine? No, I’d rather not ever go in one.144: Have I ever been on a plane? Yes, a multitude of times.145: In a film about my life, who would I cast as myself, friends and family?Dunno, that’s an odd question.146: Have I ever been overweight? I’ve always been overweight.147: Do I have any piercings?No but I do want some. I want an industrial, 2 hex, and maybe a tongue bar.148: Which fictional character do I wish was real? No clue, maybe Captain America. We need him now more than ever.149: Do I have any tattoos? No but, again I want some.150: What is the best decision I have made in life so far? Moving out.151: Do I believe in Karma? I believe that if you put bad into the universe it comes full circle.152: Do I wear glasses or contacts? Yes I wear glasses.153: What was my first car? Never had a car.154: Do I want children? Maybe.155: Who is the most intelligent person I know? My housemate.156: My most embarrassing memory? Dunno.157: What makes me nostalgic? Pokemon games.158: Have I ever pulled an all-nighter? All the time.159: Which do I value more in others, brains or beauty? Neither.160: What color mostly dominates my wardrobe?Army Green, Red, Grey, and Black161: Have I ever had a paranormal experience? YEAH. My Great Grandma lived in a house that belonged to her one of her grandkids, it was an older 70’s model home with tall metal fences. Whenever I went on to the property I would always have an extremely bad feeling, there were bad feelings everywhere in the grounds except the kitchen. Especially in this large tree outside where there was a treehouse, I swear people were murdered their. 162: What do I hate most about myself? How I can be so unemotional or that I find emotions hard.163: What do I love most about myself? How that I can be very kind, compassionate, and easy to talk too, I’m told I can be.164: Do I like adventure? I would love to explore more.165: Do I believe in fate? I believe in it to a certain extent, fate is life up until you decide to take control of it.166: Favourite animal? Fox, Dumbo Octopus, and Cat.167: Have I ever been on radio? No I have not.168: Have I ever been on TV? Yes! I was on the news for a thing for a program I was in for school.169: How old am I? 18 turning 19 in July170: One of my favourite quotes? “Whisper a dangerous secret to someone you care about. Now they have the power to destroy you, but they won’t. This is what love it.”171: Do I hold grudges? Kinda but, I don’t like to.172: Do I trust easily? Fairly173: Have I learnt from my mistakes? Always try to take something away from it.174: Best gift I’ve ever received? My life to be honest, close second is a Poe Dameron Jacket175: Do I dream? Yes176: Have I ever had a night terror? Often177: Do I remember my dreams, and what is one that comes to mind? There are some that I remember because they were so real feeling but they were so outlandish that I couldn’t believe I even dreamt it. 178: An experience that has made me stronger? Going through high school made me a better and stronger person, I know more socially than I did before.179: If I were immortal, what would I do? Try to stay low key, try and enjoy everything that I can.180: Do I like shopping? Yeah! I’m not the best at it though, I usually buy only like 3 things.181: If I could get away with a crime, what would I choose to do? Tax evasion.182: What does “family” mean to me? Family isn’t just those who share the same blood in your veins, being family is a symbolic gesture. Family is those who you share bonds with, my family are my friends just as much as my blood family is. “The blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb.”183: What is my spirit animal? Not sure, I think maybe a fox if anything?184: How do I want to be remembered? Fondly, with good regards and as a friend. 185: If I could master one skill, what would I choose? CYBERNETIC ENHANCEMENTS/PROSTHETICS186: What is my greatest failure? Not trying as hard as I could of and not asking more questions along the way.187: What is my greatest achievement? Surviving everything up till this point.188: Love or money? Love189: Love or career? Career190: If I could time travel, where and when would I want to go? I don’t know, I think people shouldn’t want to go back in time or forward in time. I think everyone should live for and in the now, trying to make sure there is a future worth seeing.191: What makes me the happiest? Being with people who enjoy time with me and company.192: What is “home” to me? Where my heart is.193: What motivates me? Knowing that I can always do better, and that the future is out there.194: If I could choose my last words, what would they be? “Remember, give reason a shot. It has never, not once in history, worked. But it might just work this time.”195: Would I ever want to encounter aliens? If they were friendly I would wanna know all about their political and cultural histories.196: A movie that scared me as a child? Sleepy Hollow.197: Something I hated as a child that I like now? Mustard.198: Zombies or vampires? Vampires.199: Live in the city or suburbs? City.200: Dragons or wizards? DRAGONS!201: A nightmare that has stayed with me? Dude I can’t even explain it, I just know it was too much for me to handle at the time.202: How do I define love?Whispering a dangerous secret to someone you care about. Now they have the power to destroy you, but they won’t. This is what love it.203: Do I judge a book by its cover? Sometimes, the title is on the cover so I usually start there.204: Have I ever had my heart broken? Yes, I have many times.205: Do I like my handwriting?YES. I love hand writing it is one of the most interesting things about people. 206: Sweet or savoury? I think Savory207: Worst job I’ve had?BOXLUNCH, working their blew ass. 208: Do I collect anything? I collect bottle caps I find on the street, stones, and bullet casings.209: Item of clothing or jewelry you’ll never see me without? Some kind of hoodie.210: What is on my bucket list? Publish a story/comic.211: How do I handle anger? Yes.212: Was I named after anyone? I was named after an actor.213: Do I use sarcasm a lot? It’s pretty much the only form of communication I know.214: What TV character am I most like? I don’t know, I haven’t really seen a character on TV i’ve related to on that level215: What is the weirdest talent I have? I have almost no gag reflex? Is that a talent? owo’’216: Favourite fictional character? PROBABLY, Nepeta Lejion from homestuck.