#also yeah the point of this post is not to shame anyone who is not like me
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Seeing so many posts about the strike and whatnot, and posts shaming those who are bitching about the strike.
Meanwhile I sit here like: you guys actively watch new films and series?
It's so bizarre to me. This year there's 2-3 new films I want to see (and all have already been filmed etc). But about this year's series I have absolutely no clue. I mostly just spend my time watching old classics aka films and series I've been watching a lot in my childhood or teenage years and keep watching for nostalgia reasons, or simply because those films/series ARE good still after all those years. Some of them being better than most stuff that gets released today.
I know I like to recycle medias a lot and constantly need something new, but when time has passed, I have forgotten enough so I'm again able to watch some old favorite of mine and be all hyped about it as if it was the first time ever watching it, but with a hint of nostalgia on top of it.
#also yeah the point of this post is not to shame anyone who is not like me#the point of this post is just to think out loud how people can be so different without there being anything bad about it#when I was younger I was testing new films and shows all the time but I guess I then grew older and no longer have energy for that#I do check out any film that sounds good and I DO want to watch new films but like. films that are new *to me*#it can be old as fuck and I don't care if it's something I've never seen but it sounds like something I wanna check out#I'm almost never watching new film and series nowadays cos most of them are the same stuff in a different package#and often the newer films I watch are already related to things I already like and know about#but sometimes a trailer might be so interesting it makes me want to watch it.#emotional dysregulation just makes it hard to grab on anything cos I often feel _nothing and don't know what I feel#I've sometimes watched a tv series for several seasons without being able to say what I even feel about it.#mcrmadness' random stuff
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Trial and Error (4)
Pairing:Â Azriel x Reader
Summary: Based on the request: "Azriel with single mom reader? I feel like being a single mom in ACOTAR would be tricky as hell⌠reader comes from autumn court and flees to night court because she got pregnant out of marriage? đŻ the shame"
Word count:Â 2.5k
Warnings: Illness, Azriel's pov đ
a/n:Â Someone sedate me at this point. Also I'm posting this earlier than planned because I am susceptible to peer pressure
Read part one | part two | part three | part five
Main Masterlist âĄ
~~
Azriel sat at the table for breakfast, his attention occupied by the window to his right. A plate of eggs, bacon, and toasted bread sat forgotten and untouched before him. To be honest, Azriel was unsure of how it even came to be in front of him.Â
Cassian was saying something, the rest of the table humoring him with sleepy mumbles and raised brows. He was always so lively in the mornings, a sentiment not shared by the rest of the inner circle.Â
Azriel was typically one of the more responsive people, but his shadow was late today. It had been a few weeks of sending one out to check on you every night, and this one was late. The rest of them swarmed around his feet in anticipation.Â
âAz?â Morâs voice had him breaking his stare from the window. âWhat are you looking at? Youâve been checked out all breakfast.âÂ
Azriel cleared his throat and readjusted in his seat. âNothing. Just distracted.âÂ
She snorted. âThatâs an understatement. Youâre been distracted for weeks now. Whatâs been going on with you?âÂ
âNothing,â Azriel repeated. He picked up his fork despite his stomach protesting, the nerves twisting it to the point of unease.Â
âHate to concur, Az, but you have been rather absent. I think this is the first time youâve had a meal with us this week,â Rhysand chimed in.Â
From beside him, Feyre shot her mate a look.Â
Azriel, feeling eyes on him, glanced to his left to find Cassian leering at him with narrowed eyes. His brother leaned his head back and hooked his arm over the back of his chair, analyzing Azriel amidst his lax posture.Â
Azriel rolled his eyes. âWhat?âÂ
With his tongue pressed into his cheek, Cassian let out a disbelieving huff. âYouâre seeing someone,â he concluded. âWho is she? Why havenât you said anything?âÂ
âIâm not seeing anyone. Why would you come to that conclusion?âÂ
âYou answered that way too quickly to be believable.âÂ
âAzriel, are you seeing someone? There wouldnât be anything wrong with that,â came Morâs soft toneâtrying to play the opposite side of the coin.Â
âNo, IââÂ
âHe is. I know he is.â Cassian, with his assured pestering. âAnd donât think I donât notice how Rhys is being silent here. And Feyre. The only two people in the room that can read minds.âÂ
âThat doesnât mean anything,â Feyre defended.Â
âYeah!â Nyx yelled, quick to defend his mother. âNothing!âÂ
But Nyxâs interference only made Cassian turn his attention to the small child and knock his head to the side.Â
âNyxââ Cassian began. In response, Nyx shoved a fork full of eggs into his mouth. âAzrielâs been taking you to school an awful lot, hasnât he?âÂ
âMmhmm,â Nyx nodded.Â
âAnd heâs been going to all of your school events?â
Nyx nodded again, this time with a mouthful of juice.Â
âDoes Azriel talk to anyone when heâs at your school?âÂ
âHe talks to Ms. Fern.âÂ
Cassian let out a barking laugh and turned back to Azriel with a wide grin. âMs. Fern? Okay, Az, if thatâs what does it for you. You should bring her to the house.âÂ
Although he felt an immense pride for Nyx keeping his secret (because Nyx had seen him talking to you countless times) a strange, hot anger licked at the bond hanging loose in his chest.Â
He wasnât seeing Ms. Fern. The reasonable part of his mind told him that it was better this way, you would feel safer, but the unreasonable side wanted to knock Cassian across the room.
You were so much better than Ms. Fern. The teacher didnât âdo it for himâ and never would. It was insulting to you.Â
Azriel ground his teeth. He knew this reaction was more borne from the fact his shadow hadnât returned and the worry he was feeling was paralyzing, but reasoning with himself did nothing.Â
âI will not beââÂ
Sick, sad, help.Â
A whisper at his ear made Azriel rein in his words.Â
Alone, alone, alone.Â
Azriel snapped his head to the side to find his missing shadow whisking down to join the rest, the hoard of them now rising to leave. To get to you, he realized. He had toâÂ
âWhat is it?â Rhysand asked.Â
Azriel could feel his talons scratch along the barrier of his mind, but there was no time to let Rhysand hear what heâd heard. In one fluid motion, Azriel was up from the table and out of the house, his wings spread wide behind him as he flew to the outskirts of Velaris where you resided.Â
One of the first things he would suggest after he got you to trust him was for you to move.Â
Heâd already reinforced your locks and checked your neighbors, but you were still so far and that side of Velaris wasnât the best.Â
Heâd ask you to move into the House of Wind, but he knew thatâd be pushing it. Obviously.Â
His back ached as he pressed his wings further, desperate to make it to you. He flung his body one way and then the other to dodge buildings as he went, flying low to save time. Luckily, the streets were barren this early.Â
But it wasnât early enough for your shop to be closed, an all too alarming fact when faced with the âclosedâ sign on the front door. He yanked on the knob anyways, but the door wouldnât budge.Â
He cursed himself for ensuring their stability.Â
He started knocking nextâsoft at first and then with a blistering urgency. He knocked and knocked and was moments away from flying up to your window and possibly scaring you off for good when the door wrenched open.
You looked beyond disheveled, bone-tired, and frankly gaunt as you stared up at him with an incredulous gaze. Your gaze softened a fraction when you saw it was Azriel beating down your door, but a tinge of irritation remained hazing your eyes.Â
âAzriel, weâre closed forââÂ
âAre you okay?â he rushed out.
Since the open house, Azriel had been more open with his vies to take care of you. If he were being honest, the intrinsic need to protect you and Melanie was overwhelming and he was barely scratching the surface of all he wanted to do, but you became guarded any time he got too intense. So, he walked you home and asked you about your family and he didnât care if he got a stonewall in response.Â
But right now, you did not look well.Â
Right now, there was no Melanie peaking behind your legs as you stood at the apothecary door.Â
So, right now, Azriel didnât have a mind to be subtle.Â
âWhere is Melanie? Are you hurt?â he asked before you could formulate a response.Â
He watched your knuckles pale as you gripped the door. You breathed in deeply. âMel has been sick all night. Iâm not sure what it is and Iâve been trying everything. Iâm about two seconds away from calling a healer butâŚâÂ
Azriel knew that tellâthe way your eyes shifted and your expression pinched.Â
More people.Â
Anytime you were confronted with introducing more people into Melanieâs life, you crumbled.Â
âLet me come see her,â Azriel requested, the tension leaking from his voice into a softer tone. Now that he knew the two of you werenât dying, there was some relief. Some.Â
You shook your head, pressing your lips into a firm line as you deflated. âI donât want to get you sick. I think I'm already a lost cause, but youâyou have important things to do.âÂ
If only you knew how important you were to him.Â
Azriel felt his fists clench at the defeated look in your eye. âIf youâre sick, you canât take care of her. Just let me come in. Let me help, y/n.â Â
âAzrielâŚâÂ
âPlease. Let me take care of you.â
He wanted to take the words back as soon as they left his mouth, afraid of you drawing back in fear, but they were already lingering in the space between you. Azriel decided you must have been truly exhausted because your only reply was a pained sigh followed by your door swinging open to let him in.Â
You didnât even send him a sidelong glance.Â
Azirelâs hand twitched as he followed you up the stairs to your apartment, the urge to press his fingers along your back stifling.Â
One step at a time, Azrielâyou were only just letting him into your house.Â
Any examination of your apartment abruptly halted as soon as his feet met the threshold of the sitting room. Melanie was lying on the couch looking worse for wear with a cloth along her forehead and a flush to her cheeks that did not sit well with the Shadowsinger. His chest caved in at the sight, a feeling that intensified when her small voice filled the space.Â
âMr. Azriel?â she croaked, attempting to lift her head. You rushed over to press her back down, running your fingers through her hair. âHeâs always at my house,â Melanie said, turning to look at you. âAlways.âÂ
You let out a breathy laugh as Melanie shut her eyes and began to softly snore against the arm of the loveseat. Azrielâs shadows rushed to the girl and brushed against her forehead and arms, offering the cool wind they provided.Â
In a few steps, Azriel took a knee beside you. He looked at you firstâat the way you hovered over your daughter with furrowed browsâand then let his gaze wash over Melanie. Against his better judgment, he wrapped his scarred fingers around her tiny hands.Â
No poison, his shadows reported, although he didnât expect it to be. She was feverish, hadnât eaten since last night, couldnât keep anything down; it was rare for fae to get so sick, and heâd be lying if he said it wasnât concerning.Â
Even more worrisome was the fever emanating from you. Azriel could feel the heat on his shoulder and he could tell you hadnât stopped to rest.Â
âI know a healer that can help. She wouldnât say anything to anyone,â Azriel said after a beat of silence.Â
You paused your fingers in Melanieâs hair. âDo you promise?âÂ
The sickness had worn you down, taking the fight and fear right out of you.Â
âI promise on everything. I wouldnât bring someone here that wasnât safe.âÂ
Azriel called Majda.Â
Majda arrived in a few minutes, much to your surprise. Azriel had gotten the door upon her knock, his eyes catching the way your knees shook as you went to stand.Â
Majda kneeled in front of the couch where you and Azriel once were, her healing magic lighting up the room. Behind her, Azriel stood with you and he watched.Â
He watched your worried brow and the way you picked at your fingers. He watched the flush on your face get worse and worse as your daughterâs illness gradually got you sicker. He watched the way you tracked each of Majdaâs movements, ready to jump in at a momentâs notice.Â
He watched your body shake as it held you up.Â
He watched his mate and saw how alone you were.Â
Azriel reached up and tucked a hair behind your pointed ear, using the ploy to feel for the temperature on your cheek. You turned to look up at him and he felt the way his expression strained.Â
âYou should let her look at you too,â he said, voice low and calm.
You shook your head. âIâm okay. Iâm fine.âÂ
âYou arenât.âÂ
You turned back to your daughter, looking on.Â
Azriel no longer cared for the farce heâd been putting on. He stepped closer and let his palm rest on the small of your back if only to support you from collapsing. He saw you glance at him from the corner of your eye, but you made no move to step away.Â
It took Majda 13 minutes to come to a conclusion. Azriel knew that because he had been counting.Â
âWell, first of all, she will be okay. As will you, as I see you may have the same illness,â the older healer spoke, rising from the ground with a grunt. âIt is most unusualâwhat ails you. Do you have Autumn's blood?âÂ
The fingers you had pressed to your mouth were abruptly dropped. You looked up to Azriel with panic in your eyes, a question clear in your expression.Â
He hadnât known where you were from, but he had guessed, and you were looking at him as if he knewâas if he knew and you wanted to know if it was safe for the healer to know as well.Â
Azriel nodded his head and ignored the bittersweet feeling in his chest.Â
He had wanted you to tell him when you were ready.Â
âYes,â you uttered, shaking your head much faster than you spoke. âWe both are. Is thatâdoes that have something to do with it?â
Majda offered you a thin smile. âYou have Autumn fever. Something to do with the fire that lingers in your blood. Sometimes it does not align with the other courts and your body revolts. It will pass in a few days as most. Uncomfortable bugger to be sure, but nothing that cannot be managed.âÂ
You sagged against Azriel in relief, the shadowsinger catching your weight as your knees buckled. He pulled you closer to his front but didnât feel complete until he guided you back to the couch and leaned over Melanie as she slept.Â
âSheâll be okay?â you asked.Â
Azriel thought the question was for Majda, but when he looked to his side you were staring directly at him, fear and fever in your gaze.Â
He lost his breath and captured your face in his hands. âSheâll be okay,â he assured. You were so hot against his skin. âYou will too. Iâll fix it.âÂ
Something righted in your expressionâsomething softened. For the first time since he entered your house, you let out a full breath and allowed your eyelids to drop. It was barely thirty seconds before your head fell as well, your forehead landing on Azrielâs collarbone. He trailed his hand up to rest against your hair and placed his other on Melanieâs knee as he stayed beside the couch.Â
âI hope you know what youâre doing, Shadowsinger,â Majda crooned. âThatâs a whole lot of responsibility. A lot of secrets.âÂ
Azriel tightened his hold on you. âDo you have herbs that would help? To lessen fever or pain?âÂ
Majda hummed. âI will leave a few.â A pause. The floorboards creaked as Majda went to make her exit. âHeed my words, Azriel.âÂ
âI know what Iâm doingâwhat Iâm getting myself into.â He dropped his nose to your temple, listening to your breath as you slept. His shadows continued their mission of cooling Melanieâs feverish skin.Â
âDo you?âÂ
Azriel considered the question, and no, he didnât know.Â
But he couldnât find it within himself to care.
part five
#azriel x reader#azriel shadowsinger#azriel x female!reader#azriel x you#azriel x y/n#azriel acotar#azriel fanfic#azriel fluff#azriel spymaster#acotar#acotar fanfiction
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you guys: sheâs right behind me, isnât sheâŚ
me, right behind you:
sorry, i am forever unserious. but let me be straight for a min and talk about why i left. about a month ago? i think? i left from my platforms, no word or anything and i was planning to keep it like that tbh, but i was feeling really guilty because i know that some people on here really enjoy my work, and that in it of itself will never not make me smile. so thank you to everyone who has been genuinely supportive of me and my content, it makes me endlessly happy and grateful and đđđ¤Łđđđđđđđ����
that being said, there has been like, and unprecedented amount of hate in my inbox. i am talking upwards of 200 messages of the most deplorable shit, and i posted some of them a while back, but i donât see any point in posting more anonymous rape threats and slut shaming. because whatâs the point. i have thick skin, i am not no liberal snowflakeđđđ so while yeah, it sucks balls, i wonât bitch and moan about meaningless anon hate, as im sure literally every content creator receives this shit too.
but my issue arrives when i get my literal address and other personal details sent to my inbox. real life dox info. i understand that i am blunt and maybe come off as a cunt in some of my posts, and if i do then i promise it was all a bit, but spamming my own dox to my inbox is fucking ridiculous and unwarranted. iâm not sure if this is multiple people or just one troll, i donât care either way, but i left because holy shit that made me paranoid.
i contemplated deleting my whole account, but i know that some people like to look back on my previous posts and reread and itâs so sweet. so no, i wonât delete this account because some pussy wants to dox me, i donât think itâs fair. but i also wonât be returning, at least not for a while. it took a month for me to make this post because i was scared of getting more shit, and iâm sure this post will be the result of more shit, but i love you guys and i wanted to make sure you knew that daddy didnât abandon you. im just getting cigarettes, ill be back home soon!
final words; thank you to all the people who have continued to support me, you made posting on this account really fun! i wonât be answering any dms or discord messages for the time being, i am just going to step away completely, so if i donât answer to anyone reaching out, thatâs why. okay though i will shut the fuck up now, have a good holiday season my little sugar plum gumdrops
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âŚI have more C.o.D QuotesâŚ
Gaz: Howâs your head? Y/N: Well, I havenât had any complaints yet. Gaz: âŚexcuse me? Y/N: Oh uh, I think Iâll live-
-- (Somewhere in Greece with a fuck ton of cats) Ghost, watching Price sneeze every five seconds: What a catastrophe. Gaz: No. Y/N: PFFT- Soap: Stop, no, donât encourage him. Y/N: Ahem! Right, right. Not funny. Ghost: I am purrfectly capable of being funny. Y/N: *struggling* Gaz: Sometimes I wish you didnât have a mouth.
-- Just a scene of Y/N taking out a bottle of whiskey, unscrewing they cap, then putting one of those lid caps on. (Like the ones you have on those fancy Gatorades) Taking a huge swig and closing the cap on it as Soap watches in amusement, & Price in fear.
-- Ghost: Quit messing with my hand. Soap: Quit messing with my hair! Y/N: Quit being gay. Gaz: PFFFT Y/N: Both problems solved.
-- Y/N, on the comms: You have thirteen seconds before the building fucking explodes you hot topic wannabe- Ghost: ⌠Y/N: And you green gumball son of a bitch. Gaz: Wha-?! Soap: *WHEEZE* Y/N: You have done nothing but ruin my life; I hope you both die.
-- Soap, Gaz, & Y/N: *cackling* Laswell, losing at poker: I miss my wife, Price. Price: *places down cards* Laswell: I miss my wife.
-- Ghost, overstimulated & a lil drunk: AHHHHHH MY BONES Y/N: *frantically getting headphones* Soap, drunk: *wheeze* Gaz: Ah. I know I shouldâve- *dies coughing* Soap: *more wheezing*
-- Graves *kicks in door* WHO POSTED MY NUDES ON TWITTER DOT COM?! Y/N: SUCK IT, BITCH BOY!! Alejandro: *aggressively slapping his leg while silently laughing* Rudy: *pointing and laughing* Valeria, in handcuffs: Ha, dumbass.
-- Graves: Bitch, you are gonna get in this car or Iâm popping between ya eyes! Valeria: Hey, I know you. I saw your dick on Twitter! Graves: NOOOOOO Y/N: AHAHA!
-- Graves: Câmon Johnn- Y/N: *chucks a rock at Gravesâ head* Graves: OW, WHY?! Y/N: NO JOHNNY FOR YOU! He goes by Soap and we respect that! Graves: Ghost calls him that! Y/N: CAUSE GHOST HAS PERMISSION, you EARN the right to Johnny! And I will be damned if anyone else earns the right before me. I been working my ass off to get the Johnny privilege and you will NOT get it for free! Soap, whoâs just been standing there the whole time: *leans to Gaz* Have they actually been taking it that seriously? Gaz: Yeah. Theyâve also been working real hard to try and get the right to call Captain âJohnâ. Shoulda seen their face when I said they can call me Kyle. Soap: ThatâsâŚreally sweet, Iâll giveâem permission later. Gaz: Why not now? Soap: I wanna see that bastard get chewed out some more.
-- Y/N, perched on Priceâs desk: Captain. Price: *sigh* Y/N: Captain I crave violence.
-- Ghost: Your family line deserves to die with you, only shame it didnât end before you. Graves: âŚ.I just sat down!
-- Y/N: Youâre likeâŚthe human incarnation of crumbs in the bed. Graves: Oh câMON THATâS REAL MEAN Ghost: Itâs true though. Y/N: The kinda crumbs that you keep swiping away but somehow they never leave- Graves: Alright! You know what- Soap: Like getting in bed after going to the beach. Gaz: Sand in the bed, yeah. Feels like that when he talks. Graves: IâM JUST GONNA FUCKIN LEAVE! Y/N: *watches him go* Annnd now the sheets have been changed. Ghost: Clean from filth. Alejandro: You all are so cruel and itâs perhaps the funniest thing Iâve ever seen.
-- Gaz: Things Gucci with you? Y/N: Itâs Goodwill at best, my guy. Price: I donât know what this means but I feel like I should be concerned.
-- (Mild NSFW Jokie Time) Gaz: You alright? You been zoned out. Y/N: Hm? Nah Iâm good, just having depraved thoughts. Gaz: Depraved, you say? Soap: Oh do tell. Y/N: You justâŚyou ever see someone and think âthey have pretty eyesâ. And thatâs normal. But then the little devil in the back of ya skull goes âyeah theyâd look good rolled backâ. Or am I just a whore? Gaz: That is depraved. Soap: Got a good point though.
-- Y/N: Ooo! Look! Old pictures of Captain, this oneâs dated. You wouldâve beenâŚ19 in this one. Lemme s-âŚâŚ Gaz: Lemme see! âŚ.. Price: What? Y/N: âŚ..you were a whore, werenât you captain? Gaz: Thatâs the face of an arrogant bastard who fucks regularly. Price: IâŚmightâve been a bit of a playboy. Y/N: And I wouldâve fallen for it you god damn bastard, no ones fACE SHOULD BE THAT NICE!
-- Valeria, painting her nails: I might kill my ex, not the best idea. His new girlfriendâs next- Alejandro: âŚ.. Rudy: âŚ.should I be worried? Alejandro: Move away quietly and pray.
-- Ghost: For the record this is self destructive. Soap, chugging his 5th energy drink in the past hour: For the record, Iâm aware of that.
-- MILF!Y/N: Boys. Bed, now. I wanna talk to your captain. Price: No, boys stay. Please stay- Y/N: Go. Price: Stay. The boys: *concern, panic, perhaps a bit of fear* Y/N: Go! Price: Stay! Y/N: You go! Soap: *speed walking* Price: Soap, stay! Y/N: NOW! Gaz: *slowly backing away* Price: Gaz, donât move! Y/N: YOU GO! Price: SIMON- Ghost: *leaving*
-- Ghost: What was Plan A? Soap: âŚdonât fuck up. Ghost: And what was Plan B? Gaz: Donât fuck up Plan A. Ghost: And what did you do? Y/N: âŚfucked up plan a- Ghost: YOU FUCKED UP PLAN A-
-- Ghost: Whatâs rule number one? Soap, with dynamite: Party! Ghost: NO! No, not party! No!
-- Graves: How about after this, we get a drink? Y/N: âŚI would rather gouge out my eyes and blindly navigate a way to turn them into earrings than ever be anywhere alone with you. Soap, grinning: Ooooo brutal! Ghost: Karma.
-- Ghost: WaitâŚJohnnyâs into me? LikeâŚhe LIKES me?? Gaz: Oh SiâŚyou poor, sad, dense mother fucker.
-- Ghost: At least nothing of importance was lost. Laswell: âŚGraves was kidnapped. Ghost: I know. I said what I said. Y/N: Nothing of value was lost but we did shed off some trash! Ghost: Precisely.
-- Ghost: These lights make me wanna pull my eyes out and eat them. Medic!Y/N: *turns lights off in favor of a lamp* âŚalright, so youâre autistic, good to know.
-- Ghost: Should I get my reading glasses? Y/N: Oh no no, this isnât an eye test. Itâs a GAY test. Now tell me, *holds up picture of Farah & Graves; Price being 1* Number one, or number two? Ghost: Number one?⌠Y/N: Interesting. *holds up Farah & Soap, Soap being 2* Okay now number one, or number two? Ghost: *gasp* Y/N: Number two, right? Ghost: Maybe I am gay?
-- Waitress: So, Iâve gotta ask, Iâm really curious. 141: ? Waitress: Have any of you ever used likeâŚthe military language in bed? Soap: Naaaah. Y/N: No, I donât- PFFFT, I- *wheeze* Iâm sorry Iâm imagining it- Gaz: *biting back laughs* Y/N: âYou gonna come?â Affirmative. *laughs* Soap: *WHEEZE* Gaz: *cackling* Price: Oh lord- Gaz, snickering: Picking up speed. Y/N: COPY- *Laughter x100* The entire team: *giggling like hyenas* Ghost: Uh, thatâs a no. I donât think weâve done that.
-- Price: *smiles at Soap & Gaz being stupid* Y/N: I like when you smile. Price: âŚhuh? Y/N: Your smile, I like it. Makes your eyes crinkle up and your beard makes you look like a cuddly bear. You should smile more. Price, internally on the verge of tears: *fond sigh* Get back to drills, soldier. Y/N: Yes sir!
-- Ghost: *minding his fucking business* Y/N: You have pretty eyes. Ghost: *chokes on air* Pardon? Y/N: You have pretty eyes. Ghost: No I-âŚtheyâre just brown. Y/N: So? Your eyes donât have to be blue or green to be pretty. Theyâre pretty because theyâre expressive, and when the sun hits them they look like syrup. I likeâem best when weâre all at a bar. They get brighter then. Ghost: Ghost: âŚstop talking, sergeant. Y/N: Copy that, L.T! <3
-- Gaz: *laughing at something on his phone* Y/N: You have a great laugh. Gaz: Hm? OhâŚreally? Y/N: Mhm. Itâs cute, comes from your chest. Iâve never heard you laugh in anyway thatâs not genuine. Really fills the room with joy. Gaz: Dude, youâre gonna make me all soft with words like that. Y/N: All according to plan!
-- Soap: *rambling about something* Y/N: *listening intently* Soap: Then-âŚah, I been talkinâ at you this whole time, eh? Should probably quiet down. Y/N: No no, I like your voice! Soap: Eh? Y/N: Itâs super energetic and loud, and when you tell a joke or talk about something you love, itâs like you can hear your smile. Itâs really fun to listen to. I like when you talk! Soap: *inhale* Youâre gonna make me cry- Y/N: I have tissues!
-- KĂśnig: *fidgeting* Y/N: *takes his hands* You have beautiful hands. KĂśnig: Wh- Huh?? No they are not. Y/N: They are too! KĂśnig: Nien, theyâre rough and calloused, they break a lot of things⌠Y/N: They also pet stray cats, make the best coffee on base, and create crotchet works of art. They also mend wounds pretty well. Yeah they fire guns but that doesnât make them less beautiful. KĂśnig: *heâs actually crying* âŚDanke. Y/N: Donât mention it!
-- Rudy: *rolling his shoulder* Y/N: Anyone ever tell you that you have great shoulders? Rudy: Hm? Oh uhâŚno, I donât believe so. Y/N: Well you do! Rudy: Ah, gracias. When I was younger I wanted them to be broader, sometimes now I wish they were more narrow. Can never really be happy withâem, you know? Y/N: Well I think you should be. Theyâre strong! *gently pats his shoulders* They hold a lot of weight, metaphorically and physically. And even when theyâre weighed down, you shoulder it and keep moving. Youâre real good at that! I like your shoulders. Rudy, prepared to die for them: âŚgracias. Y/N: No problem! Now câmon, the guys are waitinâ for us!
-- Y/N: You have good collarbones. Alejandro: What was that? Y/N: Sorry, I know thatâs real specific, but I think your collarbones are pretty. Itâs likeâŚthe rest of you is bulky and strong, rugged. Then you have these delicate bones. Iâm probably being too poetic but itâs like a subtle nod to your gentler side, just, built into your body. Alejandro: âŚyou have a lovely way with words, camarada. Y/N: Thank you! I appreciate that!!
#incorrect cod quotes#call of duty x y/n#call of duty#call of duty x reader#cod x gn reader#simon ghost riley#simon riley x reader#captain john price#john price x reader#john soap mactavish#soap mactavish x reader#alejandro vargas x reader#alejandro vargas#valeria el sin nombre garza#phillip graves#rodolfo rudy parra#rodolfo x reader#ghostsoap#kyle gaz garrick#kyle garrick x reader#konig x reader#konig call of duty#alejandro x rodolfo#kate laswell
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Mouthwashing and fandom discourse as a whole.
So I recently explored the tag for Mouthwashing after watching two no-commentary lets plays of the entire game. I'm seeing a lot of posts pointing out how annoying it is that this game has a fandom and that this fandom is doing fandom things and stanning/"uwu-ing" characters from this incredibly nuanced, raw and not-fandom friendly piece of art. To paraphrase someone I just saw "you don't want mouthwashing; you want Among Us ocs but darker". And
for a moment I wanna talk a bit about how I absolutely agree with this statement while also talk for a moment about how and why fandom and catharsis fan fics exist and shouldn't be shamed inherently. Or, I guess, not in theory.
The "come on! Stop trying to make everything shippable/cutsey/memey/have a happy AU and face unpleasant emotions someone's trying to tell you about!" is SUCH a vibe with me. I felt this way in the 9 fandom a lot as a kid and that was just 9. Mouthwashing is like 9 on bathsalts emotions and theme-wise. It's a game where you play as both the flawed but caring captain of a doomed ship who's life becomes a Johnny Got His Gun-nightmare, and also a deplorable, hateful piece of garbage who got himself and his friend in that nightmare situation to begin with. Both characters, moreso Jimmy but Curly too, are the causes of their own misery. They're complex dealing with one of the two committing SA and doing nothing really about it/dodging the responsibility and humanity needed to support the victim whom they've wronged.
I fully admit it's groan-inducing seeing people be shipped up Anya with anyone on the ship considering what happens to her. On a pure pr level I think it would be illegal even since romance between coworkers in a workplace is considered conflict of interest/harassment as it so often is. (NOT that what Jimmy did to Anya is 'romance'. I'm talking about the shipping of Anya with the other three guys. I know there's people out there who do ship Jimmy/Anya; you don't have to tell or show me I believe you and also I already hate it.) It's ALSO groan inducing to see people ship Curly and Jimmy considering all Curly does to him- and just the fact that this incredibly tragic, toxic one-way-gone array friendship is reduced to "toxic yaoi teehee". It's annoying AT BEST.
I get the hostility towards fandom-tastic stanning and fandom behavior in general...the issue is it's still hostility and I wish some of you guys got that. Like it or not (you don't have to like it) fandom culture is inevitable to some degree. You can and should complain about your hangups but that's all you can do besides avoiding tags and just not engaging with that side of the fandom at some point. Save your call-outs and rage for when you see active deplorable bs being committed that people are excusing for dumb fandom reasons, like lolicon, hatespeech or harassment. I'm sorry but you can not actively go after and try and take down the innocent people involved in your trigger that aren't directly hurting you by liking the thing that triggers you; ie. people who get all shipping and fandom-brained about Mouthwashing's characters which you find offensive to do at all.
This type of convo is the crux of most 'antifandom' v profandom discourse in general; for Antis I think there ought to be a difference between the people that set you off bcuz of fandom nonsense vs sociopathic 'got mine'-creepiness. There's a difference between someone who draws r34 v Shadbase. For profandom types you out to face the fact that yes- maybe NOT EVERYTHING is meant to be shippable/memed. Maybe try practicing that a bit. Yeah it's most harmless and makes you feel happy, but considering how people outside of your hyperfixation-of-a-hyperfixation is a thing. The thing about the "don't like, don't read" argument is it goes both ways. If you're truly a "good fan" like you say you are than you have to realize that people will not like your problematicisms. Learn to interact with characters and stories without the possibility of shipping sometimes- or at least understand that that's the crux of what makes a story like Mouthwashing engaging, even if you also partake in the fandumb and AUs on the side. You can call Curly your babygirl and ship him or make him happy all you want but PLEASE acoknowledge that the game doesn't woobify him or excuse what he did to Anya as well. You can make some kind of AU scenario where Jimmy gets out somehow and becomes/is a slightly better person for all I care...so long as you PLEASE remember that he is canonically a r@pist and awful. Also, even if I'm okay with your fan decisions, note that myself and others are still going to be critical and be upset that you wrote it at all because of what kind of character Jimmy is. 'Critical' =/= declaring something evil.
Fandom behaviors are not souly a destructive parasocial outcome of brainrot; they're also a natural reaction to what happens canonically and the emotions you have to experiencing a story. It's normal and rational to sympathize and love Curly and despise and hate Jimmy. You can love/like/enjoy a problematic-to-DEEPLY DISTURBED-character based on their complexity in canon. They are fiction. They are not real. The reason you are so invested with them is because of that complexity and yes because they are fiction they are your 'toy' and you can doll them up in any kind of speculative AU crap you make. That's fanfiction, baby. Make yourself a fixit fic if you really want
BUT-
remember: it stays as a fixit fic. DO NOT cross the streams, or insist that your active misreading of the text is the same as the text itself. EVER. You should care about your special interest's escapism as a means of self-care. What you shouldn't do is demand that EVERYONE ELSE LOVE your coping mechanism and that any complaints by people on their own terms on their own blogs is #badfaith or an inherent attack against you. It isn't. You'll know when it is an attack against you and that's when you, the profandom-type, need to be prepared and save your call-out posts and blocklist for.
To me that's the fragility to fandom debates and fandom as a whole. You can not/should not police or control an entire group of people and how they perceive or interact with media. That's not fair and it's definitely not sporting or decent of you in a community. You have to share your community -your fandom- with people who hate ur fav and people who love your least fav. Agreeing to disagree means not tagging your nOTP as their shipname or by tagging your shipname loud and clear. It means filtering out posts with those topics but enjoying and/or reblogging the fandom takes you do share with your fellow fandom-mite that obviously posts abt those topics.
When schmit REALLY goes down and some assface reviewer/fan/SOMETHING is being an assface or doing something amoral under the guise of fandom-ing, that's where you out to put your foot down. Callouts and complaints are for people who did an egregious thing and refuse to take responsibility(lol) for it. They're not for "soandso likes the thing that triggers me, kill them"/"so and so is hating on the thing I'm kinning because it triggers them, kill them". Be an adult.
Your DNI lists should consist of "lolicon defenders" not "proshippers", as those ARE NOT one in the same. Same goes the other way around. List off "bigots, purity culture bs", not "antis and critics". These positions ARE NOT interchangeable. If you make them interchangeable than you're making things a lot harder for yourself.
-sincerely, a message from autistic ADHD/OCD woman who likes horror and media analysis as much as she loves popcorn fanfic schlock.
We don't all have to be friends and buddybuds. I just hate us hurting each other over being different kind of fandom-folk rather than for when someone sincerely mucks up and does something bad. Can't we all stick to our guns and just boycott Harry Potter like god intended?
#franki's features#mouthwashing#mouthwashing game#wrong organ#curly mouthwashing#jimmy mouthwashing#swansea mouthwashing#proshipping#anti anti#fandom discourse#shipping discourse#fandom problems#shipcourse#fandom wank
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Kokichi is asexual and you can't change my mind (and Kaito is an ace too 'cause i said so)
Here is why i think that way
Disclaimer! This post is not created to judge or shame anyone. I created it to explain why i think about them in that way and maybe try to make this headcanon to be more popular. I might sound kinda salty at times here but in general I don't mean to hurt anybody.
It kinda confuses me why so often Kokichi portrayed a little bit too intrested in making sexual comments and jokes. I probably shouldn't be surprised, because I know that we live in a sex obsessed world. I'm kinda used to it at this point. But I think people kinda exaggerate it.
In actual game he doesn't make sexual comments and jokes THAT often and 90% of the time they are directed at Miu who is the MAIN sourse of them in game. I even think that he would not say so many of those things if Miu wouldn't be starting it first.
He even get's confused for a second when Gonta tells him he couldn't catch Miu for Insect Meet and Greet because his "face got hot".
And in bonus mode Dangan Salmon Team he isn't particularly intrested in that either. In most cases when the player chooses sexual option even though the game states that it was a good option Kokichi will often just change the coversation to a different topic. Yeah, they had fun, but they didn't really talk that much about initial chosen option.
"Let's read a dirty book."
"How about joining my organization instead?" *starts rambling about his organization*
And yes, I REFUSE to call this protag Shuichi. This is NOT my favorite protagonist. He would not fucking say this.
Look how they massacred my boy *cries*
One thing Kokichi also does very often is being sarcastic. I really like this scene. But surprisingly I've seen people taking his excitement as genuine and was like ??? How? Have you gone so crazy after you've seen his first phrase that you blacked out and missed part when he went "nope :)". He literally was like "Is that what you wanted me to say? You wishđđ"
I also like how sometimes when the protagonist say something sexual Ouma redirects topic from himself. And he often suggests Tenko as alternative. For a long time I couldn't understand why it was her specifically. And then I realised. It's because Tenko will beat up any man who says something like that to her. He literally indirectly tells player to fuck off.
I can't belive how often those moments are overlooked.
I think that's all my main points regarding Kokichi. Everything else is not very convincing and can be dismissed. But I just want to point out that his color palette basically resembles asexual flag, because I think that's a neat detail.
Now Kaito. I'm gonna be honest. The main reason I headcanon him as ace is because I headcanon all my favorite characters as asexual. But there is a reason I fully accepted him as ace.
The scene in Talent Development Plan where he's discussing "man's passion" with Leon and Teruteru. While they were talking about girls it turned out Kaito this whole time was talking about chasing passion in more philosophical sense. And by exploring "unknown worlds" he probably meant space (they really should've seen that coming).
That's pretty much it. I just saw 1 (one) reason to make it canon for me and immediatly jumped on it.
I think that's it for both of them. They're not the only characters i headcanon to be on the ace spectrum (and i also have some on the aro spectrum too!) but they're the ones I think about the most, so I thought I'd explain it.
#my art#artists on tumblr#danganronpa#danganronpa v3 killing harmony#danganronpa v3#drv3#drv3 kokichi#drv3 kaito#kokichi ouma#kokichi oma#kaito momota#asexual characters#asexual#using this tag feels kinda scary#i'm afraid i'm crowding the tag with my silly little post about this silly little characters#edit: tumblr was being mean and messed up post but i fixed it#analysis by lampochka#can i call it that??
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Swap AU Stuff
Alright let's jsut try getting down basics maybe
Also this maybe long actually.
The obvious Swaps Lunar and Eclipse: Basically how we meet them in episode. I legit went along with thinking this Eclipse wasn't memory wiped the whole time so thats kinda- in the air a bit. But Lunar being the original body (I have a post showing how Eclipse looked then), Eclipse with the one he made (to be taller. He can't stand being small... Well shorter than anyone really. A shame he has Bloodmoon towering over him.) The Glamrocks: They are as Swapped so Chica is Freddy, Freddy is Roxy, Roxy is Monty and Monty is Chica (I love them immediately after giving them luscious hair im sorry). Rox and Sun are friends and he's quite protective of Sun, also a cowboy cause swap au/Foxy etc. Digi in the discord came up with this and i died cause it was so good actually. Eclipse and Lunar still go thru the whole October Arc with Moon and Sun. Moon being far more quiet but aggressive. Made Sun to hinder Eclipse. Let me paste my lil paragraph i had in discord
"Sun likely has more denial about moons treatment of him, however like lunar he does start questioning if its good for moon to get the star (like sort of getting the Moon Wont Stop so i need to do something he might hurt himself etc) plus lunar and eclipses treatment of sun would be a huge factor too, eclipse obviously is terrible at communcating and while he's a bit of a jerk, realizing sun might be in danger or hurt is something he might catch on faster. maybe. im thinking anyway sun catches attachment to both that outweighs his denial of moon being terrible actually. he's still grasping at things even well after. doesnt realize he gets awful panic attacks until someone points it out actually. and then i lost my train of thought but moon still loved sun justâŚ. very clearly was not the forefront of his goals tho. feels very betrayed by sun after and likely wont fogrive sun. vs sun whos too willing to forgive despite his anxiety screaming at him NOT TO. i just wanna show a different thing to this cause lunar recognized halfway into october and let moon handle the rest and recognizes that eclipse was hurting him much sooner than sun wouldve (see the⌠current sun. og sun recognizes now but it truly took him a WHILE, communication Real now.)" Anyway, Sun does end up getting adopted by both Eclipse and Lunar. He's never gonna be taller than Eclipse. But as mentioned he's got a lot of things to work through about Moon (Roxy will kick so much ass for him.) Generally trying to grasp that yeah no it was pretty fucked up of Moon to do anything to Sun. Now the timeline gets a lil weird beyond this because like KC would've also been in this plot. KC unlike our Bloodmoon, is actually far smarter (Im sorry to bm fans), he DOES work with Sun but generally more for his benefit of getting rid of Moon. He doesn't really need to be bribed for this actually. Imagine KC being so pissed about Moon showing up in his systems and hes LIKE WTF MAN. Zappity Zap Zap Double Dee Moon Anyway Cue Bloodmoon arriving. And like bloodmoon does- He does technically hold Eclipse hostage but gets bored. So there is mild agreement. Bloodmoon does what KC did and FORCED themself out (like our OG boy!). They're uh... theyre not very keen on sticking around a daycare as fun as itd be to tear it up. They like lightly bully Sun but Roxy to the rescueee. Anyway, 'Does KC die in this au?' No he doesnt. He gets CLOSE to it but Bloodmoon just goes 'Hmn. nah son you're coming with me'. Lunar still feels incredibly bad about it though. Space arriving sooner actually more or less helps like avoid some certain issues here and there. Unlike Earth where she arrives much later (due to be literally distracted.) Space goes directly to the daycare. Thus kinda- changing some bits. He does meet Bloodmoon, hates him though. 'Why aren't you thinking this through' 'We wanna see how much they scream' 'You'll be electrocuting yourself before you get the chance' '...That means Eclipse gets electrocuted?' 'Put down. the fork.' KC handles Bloodmoon with much exasperation. Bloodmoon picked up this sucker and went 'our Spawn'. Baffles KC. Space ends up meeting Crater, Moon got annoyed with Space's presence being literally really hard to work around. Sends Crater, Crater and Space get along well enough that it wasn't Moon intention but this works too. Space (theres irony here) gets concerned with Crater and her not viewing herself with autonomy. She is still just a 'basic AI' as she puts it. Does what she's told. Bloodmoon doesn't really use her just kinda shoo's her off to Space or Eclipse. 'No you're no fun-' 'I have told to monitor you' 'WE DIDNT ASK MOON FOR A BABYSITTER' 'I am programmed to defend' 'We dont need defending either' 'You are still vunerable' '...Go away' 'Affirmative. Destination please?' 'DAYCARE'
Anyway How do i sum this up. Roxy and Sun are besties Lunar and Sun vibe. Eclipse is soft with Sun.
Bloodmoon has claimed ONE child. Doesn't really claim Moon but thats a later thing. Moon and KC despise one another.
KC didn't really want this fatherly figure but he begrudgingly accept them. Funny things happen with these three. Bloodmoon doesn't become pacifist, just more or less moves away dragging KC with them. A little bitter at Lunar's murder attempt but its fine. No one died there but heavily maimed.
Eclipse and Moon still ultimately hate one another. There is a Swap version of Solar thats Moon and- we'll get confused so just know its out there. Space and Crater are good friends and partly why both end up questioning their existence but both support pillars to one another that it just kinda isn't as devastating. Unless someone dies. Crater does end up having her own personhood, Moon does get attached to her even if he doesnt admit it. Space doesn't question creator enough but Crater does and vice versa. Bloodmoon(s) does have a name but ill reveal that later??? idk
#sun and moon show#tsams au#sams swap au#myart#swap crater#swap space#sams sun#sams lunar#sams eclipse#sams moon#swap roxy
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hi I'm talking about Ruin again
My kingdom for more fancontent with Ruin, especially post-Thanos snap.
Like! Authors were barely using him before, maybe a few fics with him shipped with Solar-- and then the Thanos snapping happened and now there's NOTHING (okay there's not nothing, but at the time of writing this, there are about twoish ongoing fics focused on him and a handful of others where he's a participating character)
AND LIKE. THAT'S SUCH A SHAME??? Ruin went from "alright youre kind of boring as an antagonist" to "I guess you're cute now that you're cured" to EXTREMELY interesting.
He's a villain that isn't an antagonist! He takes Sun's hero complex and Moon's martyr complex to the extreme! The only goal he had was to get rid of the threat offered by the creators, in a permanent and complete way-- and nothing else. He holds no ill will towards anyone else--hell, he's so willing to work with people that he doesn't personally like that it keeps throwing him off when others don't think the same way (like showing up to ask for Moon's help and getting tossed into baby jail and strangled instead).
He doesn't like causing harm. He made certain to stress that the whole dimensional evaporation thing wasn't painful, and he despises Dark Sun for being a sadist. He did his best to sabatogue Bloodmoonâs plan and minimize the damage to Earth.
He's desperate to be helpful and useful to others-- even if they keep taking from him without his consent, he still keeps volunteering. He also has a hilarious response of being belligerent when annoyed with someone, like pretending not to know about the wither shard.
He's exceptionally traumatized. Can you imagine what it was like running around for 50 years pretending you're infected, all the while watching the mental and physical deterioration of everyone you know-- and knowing it's YOUR fault they're like this? And it was the person who MADE you, your actual literal Creator, who first started the infection?
And he has no hope. Everything Ruin has done since Thanos snapping the dimensions has been a kind of filler for him, because he expects to die soon. Actually he's lived longer than I think he expected and didn't really know what to do with himself for a while in there. When/if Dark Sun or Nexus feeds him to the witherstorm, I'll be surprised if he tries to fight back.
Also he keeps getting kidnapped and imprisoned, which is kind of funny. I think we're up to 4 kidnappings, 2 jailbreaks, and 4 imprisonments.
Just like... he's a fascinating guy with strong personal motives, and a much more agreeable personality than our other strongly motivated ex-antagonist, Eclipse. There's a lot of potential to work with, and how to get him out of the hole he's dug himself into. Overcoming the whole "I erased 5000 dimensions, including one that your family member came from, and also indirectly caused a different family member to leave" is just one of the challenges!
I know it's not an issue of "but he's hurt/killed one of the other characters!" Because -points at Blood Moon and Eclipse-. Both (all five? six?) have killed other main characters and been antagonists, and it hasn't stopped folks from writing them. Hell, Eclipse killed his own estranged brother for no reason other than petty revenge, and folks still somehow make it work.
So yeah idk. I think Ruin is really interesting and deserves a bit more attention.
#tsams#the sun and moon show#tsams ruin#Initially I was going to submit this to the confessions blog but one I feel like. It'd be real obvious it's me#Two by the time it came out of the queue I think he'll have been killed off in Canon#I could go on and on about some things but I tried to stick to purely Canon examples of his actions#Instead of mixing in any headcanons#And yes I'm putting my money where my mouth is#And currently have some WIPs that are Ruin focused#Obligatory disclaimer that there's nothing wrong if you prefer bad guy Ruin or sweet cured Ruin of course#Different things scratch the brain and I'm just yelling about my specific one <3
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Joon uses Lily's deadname in the first 5 minutes of his video and the thumbnail is unacceptable. Her critical community is weirdly hellbent on justifying this even though this could easily be corrected by editing out and changing the thumbnail.
Idk if it's known that Lily tries to paint all of her opposition as transmisogynists then isn't it logical to put extra effort into making sure nothing about the video is or could be interpreted as transmisogynistic? Like this just makes me think Joon had an ulterior motive.
Yeah that's the thing. Of the videos out there that do criticize Lily, many of them are from drama youtubers who just refuse to give a trans woman any basic amount of respect. (A personal favorite/good example is in Just A Robot's video where he feels the need to point out that Lily is transgender despite it not being relevant, and says the word "transgender" so awkwardly that it's like he's afraid someone's going to overhear him saying it. what a guy.)
Lily does hide behind the "everyone's just being mean because I'm trans" defense whenever criticized and it's very easy for her to do so because unfortunately most of the time she is actually correct in that assumption. She has had to deal with very legitimate transmisogyny because the type of person to make a video detailing all of her problems is usually also the type of person who loves to foster harassment of trans people in general.
Honestly I don't think anyone should be making videos about her at all anymore. The best way to make her go away is just to stop giving her attention. Don't watch her videos or give them dislike bombs, those count as engagement. Don't get into arguments with her. Don't make call-out posts. Just don't engage and let her wallow in her own little corner of the internet until she either gets the help she needs and logs off or her whole little cult of fandom inevitably implodes. We don't need any sort of internet cop to publicly shame her for her crimes, its already pretty well known not to trust her and her channel's growth has completely stagnated.
Nobody needs to do anything but leave her alone, in every sense of the word. I know this solution isn't as fun or scandalous as a public ousting, but not every bad person on the internet needs to be ousted. Especially when information on why she's bad is already readily available. Joon's videos serve no purpose but to indulge in the cruelest form of voyeurism under the guise of reporting, and the Lily Orchard video is no different. From the bottom of my heart, fuck that guy.
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sfth incorrect quotes pt.9 because the brainrot is getting to me
Luke: Thanks for not telling Tom what happened. AJ, dumbfounded: I wouldnât even know where to begin trying to explain this. Tom: Anyone down to take couples counseling and see at what point the therapist realizes we barely know each other? Luke: Idiots to lovers, 20k words, angst with a happy ending. AJ: I know what a prism is! It's where you put bad people. (I just realised that I already had this quote in a past post)
AJ: Okay, what does A stand for? Luke: Arson. AJ: Aw, you're so good. Okay! B! What does B stand for? Luke: Barson. Sam: *laughter* AJ: What stands for C? Luke: Commit arson. Sam: Oooo. AJ: D! Luke: Don't come near me, I'm going to commit arson. Sam: *more laughter, slightly more evil this time* Tom: Hey, check out my Spongebob umbrella! *Tom opens his umbrella while indoors* Sam: Tom, thatâs bad luck⌠Tom: Chill out, Sam! Luke, kicking down the door: WHO SUMMONED ME?!?! Tom and Sam: *screams* (Senor Pork-core) Tom: Hey, are you free? Sam: No, Iâm expensive. Store Worker: Would a âTomâ please come to the front desk? Tom, arriving at the desk: Hello, is there a problem? Store Worker, pointing to AJ, Sam, and Luke: I believe they belong to you? AJ, Sam, and Luke, simultaneously: We got lost. Tom: I didnât even bring you guys here with me- Luke: Tom, whenâs your birthday? Tom: Why? So you can look up my natal chart? So you can figure out my weaknesses? So you can destroy me? Luke: ...So I know when to wish you a happy birthday. Luke: But also so I can plan your downfall. AJ: So, what is Luke to you? Sam: The reason I wake up every morning. AJ: ...Thatâs adorable. Luke earlier that morning, barging into Samâ˛s room, smacking pans together: WAKE UP WAKE UP WAKE UP WAKE UP WAKE UP!!! AJ: *stands in trash can* Sam: AJ, not again! You're not trash, you're at least recycling! (I like to think that AJ just wanted to stand in the trash can) Sam: Big day today, Tom. *holds up two identical flannels* Mustard stain or ketchup stain? Tom: Mustard, looks less like blood. Tom: Yeah, I find it quite emotional. In like a cool way. Sam: Did you just say it makes you cry in a cool way? Luke: *writing a letter* Luke: Dear Santa, I'm writing to let you know I've been naughty...and it was worth it you fat, judgemental bastard. Tom: Damn, the power went out. AJ: Donât worry, I got this. AJ: *stomps foot* Tom: What-? AJ: *Sketchers light up* Sam: You canât have a gun on stage! Luke: WRONG! I can have a gun, and I must have a gun, thatâs the rule of Chekhovâs Gun: have a gun. And now that itâs been seen, I will have to shoot someone before the end of the play. (Sam's just jealous that he doesn't have a gun) Tom: Oh no! Iâm doomed! Sam: Seriously? All you have to do is not insult Luke at his own memorial service. Tom: Exactly! Itâs impossible! AJ: Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, thatâs fucked up. Like c'mon, you know Iâm dumb as hell! Luke: Shouldn't get stressed out, it's not good for the baby. Tom: What baby? Luke, crying a bit: Me. Tom: That's not funny. Luke: I thought it was funny. Tom: You don't count. You started laughing in the middle of a funeral because you started thinking of a meme you saw on Facebook.
#shoot from the hip#shoot from the hip incorrect quotes#and yes I haven't posted one of these in a week#what about it#(/lh)#luke manning#tom mayo#sam russell#alexander jeremy
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thinking about the more cutting elements of the show... thinking about how they prod at the grotesquerie that is the youtube landscape now. something that was originally homespun and free and fun is now this soulless maw of manipulation and cynicism, and they're naming names.
thinking about the more cutting elements of their feedback for us; how the sweet homespun thing they birthed then morphed into something massive with its own acute levels of grotesquerie and horrors for the two of them. and how alongside all of the giddy love and joy and euphoria i've experienced these past couple of days, i have also been feeling some more complicated feelings. and i guess some of that may be shame, because for all the years i've loved them so, i was in the trenches participating in the retraumatization of dan (a word that kind of bowled me over to hear). and i sure as shit wasn't 12. i just fervidly wanted to know every damn thing i could. still do, i guess. tis my nature. but hearing dan describe him and phil as the internet's 'first true crime case' had me feeling quite specifically chastened. and sad.
because it is sad that their private world had all these porous slippery bits and all these intrusions and this panopticon around them and their every move, tracking every blush, every whisper of a mention of attraction to men, every possible slip-up, every morsel of their deeply personal love for one another. i imagine a feeling akin to a trapped animal. with helicopters overhead and a searchlight. and you don't know where the predator is or even if there is a predator at all or if you're the one who has done something wrong, all you know is you're trapped.
this isn't a mea culpa; i'm not looking for feedback or reassurances or anything. i really feel super duper okay about feeling this weirdness. i think it's probably good and healthy. i'm sure it's cathartic as hell for them to finally say all of this and point the finger at (some of) us. and we're moving on. they've moved on. i'm aware. and i don't think anyone else should feel any kind of way; i am not a proponent of shame. i'm sure you all know my entrenched live and let live approach to fandom, so it feels weird to make this post when i've railed so much against the phandom's guilt complex.
but i did just want to dog-ear this somewhere. that among all of the sappy giddy fluttery feelings, i'm also feeling some weirdness and some reflection. and that amidst all of the joy and hilarity, there was some heavy fucking shit in that show. and so it is odd to feel like i was in some small way a participant in the construction and reinforcement of some of that shit. i know this may all feel like..yeah...duh...rudimentary....and yes of course i've considered this all before, i am self aware, yes. but it's different hearing it so explicitly from them in the flesh, you know?
#and yes i know they've also benefitted tremendously from all the speculation#and obviously they know that too.#but that feels beside the point#okay now THIS is the last yap about tit. seriously. i think. at least for a while.#tit yaps#me yapping#titspoilers#dan and phil
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I saw this anti-Kataang post saying Katara is 14 going on 25 and Aang is 12 going on 8. And honestly this really pissed me off, the invalidation of Aangâs trauma and the adultification of Katara honestly grosses me out. Itâs such a shameful mischaracterization and flanderization of both characters. Zutara stans like these are such fake fans, they donât care about the show, they donât care about Katara just their own fanfic version of Katara they can project onto.
https://www.tumblr.com/linnoya-writes/708121534055759872/kataang-but-its-only-a-2-year-age-difference?source=share
imma be real this is the weirdest shit I ever read đ
âAang plays with Momo while the other kids drink TEA like sophisticated ADULTS and play GAMES that require CRITICAL THOUGHT !!!! REEEEEâ
Aang knows how to play pai shoâŚâŚ we literally saw him playing it in book 1 episode 12: The StormâŚ. Fuckin moron @ OP đ¤Śđťââď¸
Also the weird commenting on what Aang would theoretically know about genitalia and sex is ⌠oddâŚ. And itâs also so strange to me that people think Aang would be some naive idiot who knows nothing about the world let alone about sex at his age.
The air nomads were very sexually open in ways that none of the other cultures are in ATLA. This is canon. They were a sexually free people, lol. So saying that Aang would have no concept of these things because heâs too âimmatureâ to know about it is not aligning with what we know of his people and culture. We also know that Katara and Aang married and had a child together when they were pretty young, so⌠this whole argument is so strange lmao. Adding onto this, Aang traveled the world and frequently at that and we can assume he did so solo. He had way more life experience and knowledge by the age of 12 than Katara or Sokka combined, who had never even set foot outside their village. If any of these two characters is naive about sexuality and all it encompasses, it would in fact be KataraâŚ. Who grew up in a village without men aside from her brother⌠lol. Aang traveled everywhere, he probably was friends with plenty of girls and Iâm sure Katara wasnât his first kiss, either given these facts.
Their argument is âAang doesnât know about female anatomyâ which is implying he is unfit to date her on the grounds he couldnât âpleaseâ her. However, as I already showed, this would very likely not be the case given Aangâs culture and people and everything we know of his life pre iceberg.
If anyone doesnât know about sex and genitalia, it would be Katara. 100%. She literally grew up in an isolated village with no males aside from her brother. She would have virtually no concept of male puberty or male anatomy. Lol. So whatâs the argument here? Is Katara now âunfitâ for Aang because she grew up isolated from men? See how easy that was to flip their bullshit? đ
And no, the point isnât whether he knows or not, OP. The only reason anyone is considering this in the first place is because you argued the point. Yknow, because normal people donât rlly think about this in regards to cartoon characters.
Itâs honestly so bizarre to me how ppl act like Aang is the naive, stupid and sheltered child in the show when in reality, Aang was already self sufficient as a 12 year old. He traveled, cooked for himself and cared for himself during said travels, he knew of other cultures intimately, he knew a lot of history, he was already a master of his native element, etcâŚ. That doesnât sound like a naive child to me. Aang doesnât act silly and goof off because heâs stupid. Itâs both an aspect of his carefree personality and also a conscious choice and coping mechanism from trauma and grief and survivors guilt.
And anyway, Katara thinks of Aangâs carefree nature in a very positive light. She likes this about him.
Iâm also never gonna understand the argument of âshe grew up in warâ as if Aang didnât fight alongside her in that very war as a kid, too. Yeah, he had 12 years before that, but who gives a fuck? He also suffered far more loss than Katara or anyone for that matter, and that is objective fact.
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The In-Universe Implications of What Odysseus Says in My Goodbye
Okay so during My Goodbye Odysseus says a lot but one thing that as of recent has started sticking out to me is him saying "at least I know what I'm fighting for while you're fighting to be known" and when you actually think more about that line it doesn't really make sense that Odysseus would say this to Athena because back in Ancient Greece Athena was one of the most well known and well respected goddesses, I mean she had a whole city named after her and any warrior/soldier with half a brain would pray to her for strength and wisdom in battle (ofc they'd also pray to Ares for strength but this post isn't about him). So it wasn't like Athena was disrespected (no gods really ever were because that's like a huge no no) or not largely recognized by people which honestly leaves a pretty big question: WHY did Odysseus say that? It wasn't him just saying stuff to say stuff because that combined with him saying how Athena was alone actually upset her. This is where God Games comes in, yeah, God Games.
In the original Odyssey for anyone who doesn't know, nothing anything like God Games happened. That was all Jorge adding new points to the story (and I absolutely love it) but for the sake of digging into this I'll be going a little into the original source material. In Greek Mythology in general Athena was said to have been Zeus' favorite or at the least one of his most favored children, so in The Odyssey when Athena asks him to free Odysseus he actually just kind does it with very little hassle, he kinda mentions how "hey yk kiddo Poseidon's still pretty pissed at the guy but I'll still let him go". No multi-step debate, no getting beaten by lightning. In EPIC however, Athena goes to Zeus and he decides to make a game out of freeing Odysseus and when Athena wins that game Zeus feels like she's shaming him and he strikes her with lightning. Which is actually crazy work tbh, but anyways, the entire existence of God Games and Zeus making the game up to begin with at surface level just seems like Zeus wanting to mess with Athena but if you think about it along with Odysseus saying Athena is "fighting to be known" it can kinda be read more as Zeus not really taking her seriously and not thinking she can do it. I mean he had at least three people he was probably pretty solid wouldn't agree with her: Aphrodite (her and Athena don't get along), Ares (Ares and Athena are often at odds in many interpretations of the gods due to them being on opposites of the aspect of warfare), and Hera (who is famous for being the biggest hater of like 90% of Zeus bastard children). Hephaestus and Apollo agreeing or disagreeing was probably a toss up, but in the end all five gods agreed to have Odysseus released and Zeus was left for some reason: angry. Now ik a lot of people think its just because of the jab about the whole faithfulness thing and I mean it could be, but that would only answer the "to make me feel shame" part. not the whole "you dare to defy me" and "nobody beats me, nobody wins my game". Overall it sounds more like Zeus didn't want Athena to win, but why? Because despite her importance: he doesn't take her seriously, and possibly neither does... well, anyone.
Go back to Warrior of The Mind and Athena talks about how her life has one mission: to create the greatest warrior. Why though? Why is this her life's ONE mission? Because she wants to be recognized by her fellow gods maybe?
Because remember during WOTM she also says "Maybe one day they'll follow me and we'll make a greater tomorrow" which if I'm on the right brain track here could possibly mean "maybe one day they'll take me seriously/respect me" like maybe if she makes the greatest warrior other gods will actually recognize her for who she is. Because Athena also switches to saying "we'll" and "cause WE are the warriors of the mind"
Basically to summarize: Possibly, in EPIC, Athena isn't as well respected as she is in mythology (because remember Jorge takes creative liberties when he wants to) and her whole thing her entire life has been trying to gain that respect and have people take her seriously, because even despite her being the goddess of wisdom and a crucial deity to have on your side during warfare, outside of that nobody really cares. She's only respected when she's needed but like anyone would she hates that and wants to be known and respected all the time, not only during wars when soldiers want her good will and at some point in time Athena may have actually opened up to Odysseus about this or talked about it and THATS why she got upset at the end of My Goodbye, because not only did Odysseus legit just call her lonely after calling her selfish, prideful, vain, and a plague; He used something she'd told him in most likely confidence and maybe even in a moment of weakness against her.
I don't know if this rant makes much sense but yeah, have me spitting words onto Tumblr about the fact that Odysseus saying that Athena is "fighting to be known" has some interesting in-universe implications.
#epic the musical#epic#epic athena#epic the musical theory#epic the musical rant#jorge rivera herrans#my goodbye#epic cyclops saga#epic the musical cyclops saga#epic the cyclops saga#the cyclops saga#epic odysseus#epic zeus#epic theory
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Alex Keller x chubby reader headcanons
Guess who's back with a 3rd Alex post in 3 days? These headcanons will be entirely SFW, focusing on a chubbier, gender-neutral reader, because Lord do we need more headcanons on this man, especially with chubby readers đĽ˛
Just a quick reminder that y'all are beautiful, no matter your weight đ
Enjoy!Â
-Ik I mentioned this in my NSFW Alex headcanons, but that one (obviously) was more sexual. But, he will still force you in front of a mirror, even in a non-sexual context, arms hugging you from behind while he whispers in your ear about how beautiful/handsome you are.Â
-His fingers trail on each and every stretch-mark, observing them with pure delight.Â
-And if you dare to complain about them, he's shutting that right down.Â
-"What do you mean you don't like 'em? They make you look like a tiger, and everyone loves tigers."Â
-"Yeah, but tigers aren't chubby."Â
-"They can be. And when they are, they're extra cute."Â
-Probably proceeds to show you this pic as well
-Your belly has become his personal pillow.Â
-Its also almost like a stress ball to him, too. He'll softly knead at it like dough when y'all are cuddling, pressing kisses to the skin and tickling you with his facial hair.Â
-When he gets home from a particularly long deployment, all he wants to do is just bury his face in your belly and forget about life for a while.Â
-Will also ask for pictures of your tummy while he's away. Tells you how much he can't wait to come home and cuddle with you.Â
-"That belly is the perfect pillow for me, baby. Can't wait to get home and fall asleep on you â¤"
-Absolutely doesn't take anyone shaming you for your body. He probably gets more pissed than you do, but he isn't super confrontational. As much as he'd like to knock the person out, he doesn't, and just leads you away instead.
-If those harsh words get to you, he'll drag you back to the mirror and gently ask you to tell him the specific things you don't like about your body. Then, he'll caress and compliment whatever you point out.
-"What do you mean your thighs are too big? They're literally the softest things in the world. You're nothing short of a warm, cozy pillow, baby. My pillow."Â
-Also has an obsession with your thighs. Please let him kiss and squeeze them, he'll probably never be happy again if you don't.Â
-Can't stop touching your stomach. He's also obsessed with that.Â
-He'll make you feel like the most beautiful/handsome person in the world just with his words, which are always sincere.
-"Hope you know that you've got the best smile, baby doll."Â
-If you're at a stage in your life where you actually want to lose weight, he hopes you do it for yourself and noone else.
-Always reassures you that he'll love you no matter what you look like.Â
-"I don't care what you look like, baby. You'll look amazing no matter what you do."Â
-Will actually help you work-out if you wanna try it. Always there to encourage you and honestly just sees it as more time spent with his wonderful partner.
-Also, he'll only be wearing a thin white shirt and gray shorts while exercising. Do with that what you will đ¤
-Goes clothes shopping with you a lot.Â
-If you find clothes that you really like but they don't fit, he'll rub your shoulder comfortingly while searching the racks for another size.
-And if the store barely has anything that fits you? He's fuming about it on the way home and then tries to see if he can get you something customized to fit you.Â
-Enjoys bathing with you just so he has an excuse to touch at and clean your body. Rubs soap all over your tummy and makes sure it's all nice and clean so he can fall asleep on it later.Â
-Picks you up constantly and grins when it makes you giggle.Â
-Once when you were especially sleepy and he made breakfast, he simply just scooped you up, carried you to the dining table and grabbed you a plate. You were definitely 100% awake after that.Â
-His lap is always avaliable for you to sit on.Â
-Sometimes pouts when you don't sit on it and looks at you with the saddest eyes until you do.Â
-"Aw, is my lap not comfy enough for you, dolly?"Â
-And if you insist you'll crush him, he looks at you like you have 5 heads.Â
-"Thats the craziest thing I've ever heard. Come on, love. Get your pretty/handsome ass over here."
-Pats his thigh when he wants you on his lap, too. His arms immediately wrap around you when you sit on him, giving you a hug so tight it takes your breath away for a sec.Â
-Never allows a negative word about yourself fall from your mouth.
-"Don't say that, baby. It's not true. Not at all."Â
-"I wish it wasn't so hard for you to see yourself from my perspective. You're amazing, sweetheart. Always have been and always will be."Â
-Would absolutely be a wonderful partner overall, no matter your body type or background. Alex genuinely couldn't care less about what you looked like, and would totally throw compliments at you so much you'd get flustered.Â
Let's gooo another one done! I'm sure y'all can probably tell that I'm chubbier myself, and as such I'm here to provide for my fellow chubby readers out there with content on this wonderful man đ
Feel free to leave requests on who I should do next!
#alex keller#alex keller x f!reader#alex keller headcanons#alex keller cod#alex keller x reader#alex keller x male reader#alex keller x y/n#alex keller x you#cod x reader#cod modern warfare#call of duty#this man is so fine#im here to provide for my fellow chubby readers
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I'm sure Leo is keeping it for dirt especially if it's someone he knows, Sho doesn't want to cook him the spicy food? Do you want him to ask the NPC if they can pull your hair and see if you are in a better mood? Romeo is teasing him a bit too much? I might not have as many brand deals but at least I wasn't begging last night for the NPC to praise me, He might not know Subaru's secrets but now he knows he cries and sniffles during sex, even if it won't help him with anything other than embarrass him
referencing this
Leo is stupid embarrassed at first just because he doesn't want to picture anyone having sex with Honor Roll, but if he can find a way to slide what he knows into conversation without looking like a perv then he absolutely will.
SHO- It's less that he calls him out and more like Leo wants to tease his friend a bit because he expects this to be something Sho'll hit and quit but like... why is he blushing. There's plenty of older people who will yank his hair while fucking and suck him off if that's what he's into. He cannoT be thinking of dating that basic bitch is he insane? Sho is getting dragged to the club this weekend and Leo is going to be disappointed when Sho is turning people down; he needs to get his boy out of this school it's starting to affect his brain.
Alan- I know my post references him spying on him and Thoma but if Leo followed him thinking that he was meeting up with three eyes only to hear him hooking up with MC... personally I think Alan would want to be a gentle lover and treat MC sort of like glass but Leo refuses to even think the words "making love." Yeah he's getting bullied, Leo wants to see if he'll really lay hands on someone for talking shit about his partner. Best part is when he gets shoved up a wall he can just ask if MC likes it like that.
Subaru- He's subtle with it because Leo wants Subaru to be a bit paranoid about what he knows and feel embarrassed, but I could see this being something that makes Subaru genuinely angry. It's one thing to make fun of him for crying, it's another to shame MC and imply they're dishonorable in some way for indulging him. It's still a win in Leo's book since he gets to see Subaru not being perfect.
And Subaru absolutely cries during sex, he can feel your arousal and love for him when you touch and it overwhelms him to feel so safe. Sure he's been horny before but he didn't think sex could feel so good...
Romeo- Leo seems to respect Ro Ro's taste but this seriously makes him question that. Why would he be with something so cheap? Does he get on his knees for Honor Roll before he takes it up the ass or would that ruin his slacks? Romeo is flustered over his comment sure but deep down, he is also sort of smug that he has someone who praises him as much as the MC does. He's heard what you have to say about Leo so he knows it's real. Also is it just me or with how much he flexes his spending, do you think that would extend to things like lube too? idk I just feel like even that would have to be designer for him (ÂŹ_ÂŹ")
Taiga- He isn't even sure you were having sex; whatever happened in that room is between you and the C.I.A. at this point because Leo knows for damn sure god hasn't been anywhere near you in a while.
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Fruzsi and the Importance of Her Character in Season 2 of Shadow and Bone
Okay I feel like I have been continuously teasing this post for a ridiculously long time and I have finally gotten around to writing it, I also feel like the fact that I talked about it so much might have built it up to sound bigger than it is but honestly I think that Fruzsi is a FASCINATING character study; I'm very excited to talk about her and have finally found the time (yay!) so hopefully you guys will find this at least a little bit interesting too
Tagging people who registered their interest here but please donât feel pressured to read <3 @merlinxmagic @girasoljpg @atmosphericwrites @naushtheaspiringauthor @lunarthecorvus
SHOW AND BOOK SPOILERS AHEAD + TALKING ABOUT GRISHAVERSE SETUP & THE CHARACTERS' BACKSTORIES/EXPERIENCES (Mostly Zoya, Genya, Alina, Fruzsi, and Inej)
Super quick recap since of her story so we're on the same page as we begin: Fruzsi first appeared in Season 2 Episode 2 of Shadow and Bone and is a Grisha Tidemaker loyal to the Darkling. Her parents sold her to the Darkling when she was a child, its unclear how old she was, and we should take into consideration in this matter that there is no indication whatsoever that she was ever at the Little Palace since none of the other Grisha seem to recognise or know her and vice versa. She is instrumental in the Darkling's army and receives one of the amplifiers made from Baghra's bones, subsequently learning to manipulate water molecules into ice shafts that she can use as a weapon. She is responsible for Dominik's death towards the end of the season and is subsequently killed by Nikolai.
So right off the bat whenever anyone talks about Fruzsi I tend to see two things: "wannabe Zoya" and âthe power of her amplifier was a problem because it will be too difficult to differentiate between amplifiers and parem". I've taked before about my thoughts on amplifiers and parem and why I didn't think it was going to be a problem for the Six of Crows spinoff show (*sobs*) but the general consensus seems to be that not only was Fruzsi an unlikeable character because of her actions, but because she was seen as a only being there to provide an enemy and a hand of the Darkling, and I think that's a real shame because she is a fascinating character and she tells us SO MUCH about the Darkling and other major characters. My personal favourite details about Fruzsi are her parallels with Zoya and the point from which they run opposing, the parallels she has to Genya and Inej and the subsequent parallels that her introduction creates between the Darkling and Heleen Van Houden, and the setup of Fruzsi, Vatra, and the Darkling's other Grisha to create genuine empathy for villainous characters for the reflections of the protagonists we can see in them.
Fruzsi's introduction in episode two begins with the Darkling arriving to see her and saying that she made it in good time - now we don't know where she travelled from, so yeah it could be the Little Palace (he was travelling from the base he set up in episode 1) but personally I don't think that there's much implication she ever lived there considering she doesn't know any of the other Grisha and she doesn't wear a kefta until the Darkling has new ones created for his new army. She's wearing pretty typical clothes that we see of the Ravkan population when we first meet her; a blouse and ankle-length skirt with a long coat, and from the very start is in dark shades that visually connect her to the Darkling in the audience's eye. Although she isn't hesitant to speak to him she shows consistent discomfort around the Darkling, making small steps away from him when he raises his hand and acknowledging non-verbal orders from him with immediate effect, as well as confirming that she never broke her promise to not open the Journal of Morozova without prompting and somewhat hurriedly. The Darkling is actually pretty quiet throughout most of this scene, cutting of Fruzsi's sentences and instructing her but not following any attempts she makes to initiate real conversation. When he tells her to reveal Baghra from behind the waterfall she asks him if he's sure, one of few instances in which she questions him, and after barely a second of maintained eye contact between them she turns away, physically bunching her shoulders and seeming to shrink in on herself, before turning to the waterfall and completing the task in silence. Everything we see of Fruzsi in this scene seems to contradict Baghra's later description of her as "deranged" and I think that this is really very noteworthy, because we start to develop this idea that Fruzsi's actions are different in front of the Darkling than when he isn't present - particularly since we know in this scene that Baghra has not seen the Darkling in weeks and has been alone with Fruzsi during that time. We actually don't see Fruzsi without the Darkling until very late in the show (episode 7), when her anger at the world and her easy ability to command the other Grisha are revealed ("First Army did this [...] If they wear the uniform they are all the same. Kill them all!"). We get this brilliantly foreboding image of her marching so confidently through the carnage with soldiers of both sides running and shouting and fighting and dying all around her while she barely shows any kind of response but to calmly begin her own method of very direct attack against Nikolai after walking through the battle completely untouched. If anything, Fruzsi seems quite unbothered by the entire thing until she fails to kill Nikolai, killing Dominik and several others instead, and screams her frustration before being forced to run for cover from approaching soldiers. After this her attacks are arguably much more emotional because she feels challenged and as though she has failed (relevant as I'll cover later because of the way the Darkling manipulates her), but all of this seemingly culminates only when Vatra dies, and in that moment we get this wonderfully clever shot of them holding each other's hands so that we can see the tattoos (I'm going to rant about the tattoos in this post) and then we see Vatra smiling in her final moments (that's gonna come up again as well). This moment is the most emotional we ever get to see Fruzsi; she looks down at Vatra, sheds a silent tear, and begins to exhibit more power than we have ever seen in her before. It is bare moments after this that she loses her fingers in an attack from Jesper and mere minutes afterwards that Nikolai shoots her in the throat and she dies.
It's confirmed in s2e7 that Fruzsi's parents attempted to sell her to the Darkling and arguably this is where her parallels with Zoya begin - "You remember when your family first brought you to me? The price they demanded when they discovered you were Grisha?" "Perhaps now I can repay the debt" "I would have paid it 100 times over". Ugh this angers me so much. He bought her and she believes, she genuinely believes, that she owes him for that. I'm going to talk about the structure of this relationship really strongly echoing Heleen Van Houden later on but particularly in this moment we understand that there is something here very similar to the Kerch indenture system that I'm actually really glad to see included as part of the worldbuilding and development in the show since we didn't get the opportunity to explore it as much in Kerch (*screams frustrations into the wind*)
Although we sadly didn't get the chance to explore Zoya's story in the show (*cries in cancellation*) it's explained in the final duology of the book series that her mother attempted to sell nine-year-old Zoya as a bride to 63-year-old, very rich, and twice-widowed Valentin Grankin. When Zoya's aunt, Lilyana, attempted to stop the wedding Grankin attacked and nearly killed her; in fear for herself and her aunt Zoya experienced a massive, terrified outburst of power, which was how she discovered she was Grisha, and Lilyana was able to rescue her and take her to Os Alta. My absolute favourite take on Fruzsi is that she is Zoya's Shadow, which is an idea that my friend voiced whilst we were watching the show and we discussed together at length at the time, but that I have never seen anyone talking about online.
The idea of having a Shadow comes from Suli culture and is explained to us in Crooked Kingdom by Inej; whenever a person does wrong it gives life to their shadow, with every action making the Shadow stronger until they are stronger than the original person and the person is defeated by the wrongs they've done - or learns to overcome them and defeat the Shadow. Inej's believes that her Shadow is Dunyasha and she fights her in Crooked Kingdom. I FREAKING LOVE the theory that Fruzsi is Zoya's Shadow because their stories parallel each other very well; both are abused and sold by their families only to be taken in by the Darkling and manipulated into believing that he is their saviour. The Darkling very much works by making others feel that they owe him something for any action he completes, just as we see in his manipulation and abuse of Alina, and Fruzsi and Zoya are prime examples of this. We even have two very similar scene setups between season 1 and season 2 that show us just how similar the Darkling and Zoya are in terms of the pent up rage that they keep private - in season 1 where the Darkling leaves Zoya alone in his room whilst she is trying to initiate intimacy because he is manipulating her and Alina against each other and wants to make Zoya feel like she has been abandoned in favour of a newer, shinier toy and once he's left Zoya screams her frustration and releases a gust of Squaller power that disrupts his chamber, and in season 2 when Fruzsi, in her second appearance (now wearing the new dark kefta design) hesitantly informs the Darkling that David stole Morozova's Journal and is immediately dismissed before the Darkling screams his frustrations and uses the tether to find and haunt Alina. Although this comparison between the Darkling and Zoya is of course more obvious it also gives us an idea of similarities between Zoya and Fruzsi because it extends this implication we have that Fruzsi acts very differently out of the Darkling's presence than in - and considering that at this point we have never seen her without him we have this gathering sense of intrigue about her backstory and her character. In a similar-ish manner we also have the scene in s2e5 when we get another example of the few times Fruzsi attempts to stand up to the Darkling, in this case openly telling him that they would do better to redirect their efforts North because it would be "the more strategic move"; the Darkling's response is to threaten her with his Nichevo'ya and manipulate her in a similar way that he does Zoya by replying "Alina Starkov is worth more than any army. So at the risk of sounding repetitive... find her", actively diminishing Fruzsi when he's been purposefully making her feel important and like she matters to him so that she feels she must redouble her efforts for him to notice and appreciate her and therefore desperately hopes to do a better job of bending to his will, especially since he's basically turned her entire purpose and usefulness to him into brining Alina back to him. Ugh this man i swear. I'm going to go on to talk about parallels between Fruzsi and Genya pretty soon so in this respect as well I want to add emphasis to the fact that when she disagrees with him on a point - and mind you not that she makes any suggestion of betraying his cause but only that she thinks they should take a different tactic to be more successful in it - he uses the presence of the Nichevo'ya to scare her into submission. The next time he gives her an order (to take down the First Army encampments) she agrees immediately and barely speaks to him except to ask "And what of the Sun Summoner?" - And note this is after she has taken Genya to the other Grisha because she was told to show her off as an example.
I have to say that at this point in time I was not expecting her to be the gold mine she became, and it's looking back on it knowing more about her backstory that I notice a lot of smaller details in the way she acts around him that consistently suggest she is afraid of him and I think that is shown really well in Reford's performance, I don't see her getting enough of the praise that she deserves - she was great!
Am I even making sense? Anyway
Fruzsi and Zoya are consistently presented with these similarities and I really love the idea that she represents what Zoya would have become without the influence of our other main characters, particular Alina and Genya. I really like the idea that she's Zoya's Shaodw and a literal, living embodiment of the wrng that Zoya did under the Darkling's command, but the only place that I think this theory falls short is in Fruzsi's death. If Fruzsi was truly Zoya's Shadow then they would have to face each other for one of them to die, but Fruzsi was killed by Nikolai in the aftermath of Dominik's death. However, I also think that there was standing there to start developing something truly, truly poetic in Nikolai killing Zoya's Shadow and Zoya later killing Nikolai's (or maybe even metaphorically doing so in trying to help rid him of the demon??) BUT I GUESS NOW WE'LL NEVER KNOW (*screams*) (*cries*) (*curses Netflixâs name*)
Now moving on to her parallels with Genya and Inej. I think that the loss of Heleen from season 2 (which Iâve shared my thoughts about a bit in the past so wonât go on about now) left a hole that was, in a way I didnât quite expect, filled more by the Darkling than it was Pekka Rollins. There are multiple quotes from the Darkling this season, mostly directed towards Fruzsi and Genya, that I find to have very specific reminiscence of some of Heleenâs quotes from the the Six of Crows duology and this was the most obvious one for me, and the one that originally made me think of this particular comparison:
"I have always known your worth. Now show me," - the Darkling, s2e7, in the conversation where he specifically states that he bought Fruzsi and she specifically states that she owes him a debt for that
"I know your worth, little Lynx, right down to the cent" - Heleen, Six of Crows, to Inej when torturing Inej with the implication that she intends to find a way to bring her back to the Menagerie ("You'll wear my silks again, I promise")
(Also as a quick addition I think that so much can be said about Rachel Redford's acting in this specific moment of season 2 episode 7 after the Darkling delivers that line. She looks up at him, and the proxemics + their actual heights I must admit have a brilliant added effect to this, with what starts as such genuine sorrow but so quickly turns to such fierce determination before she shows him what she's capable of now that she has the amplifier. After her demonstration she is almost in shock at the revelation of what she was able to do but the pure exultation, the relief, the triumph in her expression does not even come close to existing until the moment that the Darkling says "extraordinary". He's not even looking at her - in fact, I don't doubt it possibly that he wasn't complimenting her herself but simply the creation of the amplifiers and their strength - but the expression on her face then is absolutely unmatched and it speaks VOLUMES) (I genuinely recommend rewatching that moment with this in mind because I cannot stop thinking about it)
And then layered on top of this, we have the tattoos. THE TATTOOS.
I made a specific post about the costuming in season 2, which you can read here if youâd like to, and that covers my thoughts on the new keftas but I didnât go into detail on the tattoos at the time and I have a lot of thoughts about them. The Grishaverse, mostly the Six of Crows duology, uses tattoos incredibly symbolically and places particular emphasis on choosing to take the mark, creating a massively important bond to something that you deeply care about and will never want to break (gangs, Kazâs âRâ for Rietveld), and being forced to take one on (the pleasure houses, of course most primarily Inejâs Menagerie tattoo). Although we donât get as much emphasis on this since the show didnât get the opportunity to explore the gang tattoos yet thus far (and I guess now it wonât *shakes fist at Netflix*) we did have focus surrounding Inejâs Menagerie tattoo and itâs removal in this season and, as much as I wish weâd been able to see her book canon tattoo removal (cut off by a butcher), this side by side comparison of the Grisha being given no option but to take on the amplifying tattoos and Nina using her Grisha power to remove Inejâs tattoo is absolutely fascinating and really well done.
So this for me creates an ongoing comparison between Fruzsi, Genya, and Inej - and taking on what I said about Fruzsiâs apparent absence from the Little Palace despite clearly having an established relationship with the Darkling and having been with him for some time, we can consider the earliest pieces of information we have about Genyaâs life. Now itâs a long time since I read the S&B trilogy so I canât remember if this specific detail is true to book canon but in the show Genya states that the Grisha testers found her when she was seven but that she was gifted to the Queen when she was eleven. We have no information about what happened to her during these four years, and yeah maybe she was at the Little Palace training but we donât have confirmation of that and I wouldnât trust the Darkling as far as I could throw him (which probably wouldnât even crack a metre letâs be real). This also adds a really interesting layer to things with Fruzsi being the one instructed to show Genya off to the other Grisha as an example of what will happen if they try to betray the Darkling because we get this moment when she kneels down to take hold of Genya's chains and they are both sitting in the cage together that I think is really powerful in everything it says about how easily either of them could be in the other's position in that moment but we're also still very aware that Fruzsi has the far more power - or at least an illusion of it. In this same scene Baghra, about Genya, states "she served you loyally since she was a child, endured years of abuse on your orders, and you reduce her to an example? Oh Aleksander, where does this stop?" and honestly that is so brilliantly written (and so brilliantly delivered in the scene) that I don't think I need to say anything on top of it but when we consider this side by side with Fruzsi's position I think that this really is a very powerful parallel and a constant reminder that no-one who places their trust in the Darkling is ever safe, and that pretty much everyone on his side is there because of manipulation and because of abuse - be that abuse from the Darkling or abuse from others that the Darkling has so well learned how to manipulate in ways that are very, very similar to the way Jarl Brum manipulated and abused Matthias (I have written a lot about that too. I have strong feelings.)
I have so much fascination and I feel so much sympathy for Fruzsi and I think that this is one of the things that the show did so fantastically well in her and in the other Grisha on the Darklingâs side who are all manipulated and controlled by him in just the same way our protagonists were, who were ultimately still all very young people who had been attacked and threatened and made unsafe in their home for who they were and who were offered what they believed was the only solution. I think one of the greatest examples of this, other than Fruzsi, is seen in Vatra, the amplified Inferni who is so proud of herself when she brings the Hummingbird down - "Yes! I did it" and btw she says this with such an expression on her face I don't even have the words I would just genuinely recommend you rewatch the scene to get what I'm saying it's s2e7 around 24:30-50 she actually looks so proud of herself she's like a little kid and it's so soul-crushingly clever and incredibly well done and it breaks my heart she's been so successfully manipulated - because she so genuinely believes that she is doing the right thing and she is making a difference for her people, and even when she dies with her hand clutched in Fruzsi's she dies smiling. That girl breaks my heart every time I rewatch, and honestly even though she is presented in a more unlikeable way Fruzsi breaks my heart as well because I can see so much of our beloved characters in her and effectively what could have happened to them and what could have become of them if they hadnât managed their escape. This duality and constant cause to question the morality of the characters is so brilliantly done and one of the biggest successes of the adaptation considering how well it was done in the books as well but could have been something difficult to translate between medias where exposition is concerned, and I think that Fruzsi was an incredible example of this and that we really should talk about her more
Thanks for reading my nonsense ramblings if you got this far, I hope that it made sense and was at least somewhat interesting <33
#I'm back on all my analysis nonsense and I'm having a great time#damn I just scrolled back through this post sheâs a long one for sure#shadow and bone#six of crows#grishaverse#leigh bardugo#grisha trilogy#save shadow and bone#shadow and bone netflix#netflix shadow and bone#screw you netflix#netflix#sab tv#shadow and bone tv#shadow and bone show#renew shadow and bone#save six of crows#crooked kingdom#shadow and bone analysis is#assorted analysis - grishaverse#dkâs s&b tv analysis#the grisha series#grishaverse analysis#shadow and bone fandom#grishaverse fandom#inej ghafa#Alina Starkov#zoya nazyalensky#genya safin#anti darkling
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