#also yeah i didn't change much
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Transfem Timothy Lawrence, as requested by my friend for his birthday (they're not even a fan of Borderlands)
#also yeah i didn't change much#cus she can be happy as she is :3#i mean shes probably not given the fsct she looks like jack#but#AT LEAST SHE HAS PRONOUNCED EYELASHES#timothy lawrence#tim x moxxi#timmox#transfem#transfem timorhy Lawrence#borderlands#borderlands 3#borderlands the pre sequel#borderlands tps
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You know what makes me soooo excited for the next phase of Fadel and Style's relationship? It's that they will finally slot into the CORRECT relationship dynamics because this whole time, it's been flipped.
From the beginning, something felt off, and I think it's because Style's true desire is to be pursued. We are shown this pretty much in Style's introduction when he blatantly puts his body on display with the Crop Top Stretch. Style wants to be approached, wants to be propositioned, wants to be desired. Also, remember how he initially flirts with Fadel when his only motivation was his own attraction? He pinned the Heart Burger badge onto his chest to create an opportunity for Fadel to put his hands on Style's body.
Of course Fadel wasn't pursuing Style; was in fact, actively trying to get away (for reasons OTHER than a lack of physical attraction to Style), so it is the plot that has to drive our lovebirds together using Kant's request and partly Style's own desire to get some revenge.
But throughout their interactions, we constantly see glimpses of Style's desire to be pursued: every single time Fadel even shows a HINT of wanting Style, he immediately falls pliant, like he can't wait to let Fadel take the reins. And nothing shows this more clearly than the absolutely blissed out look on Style's face in Ep 4 when he thinks Fadel has finally admitted that he wants Style.
(Fucking hell, just look at how dazed and almost euphoric Style looks here? It's like Style has been starving for the barest hint that Fadel truly wants him.)
Which is also why we've gotten so many fake outs. Because although Fadel IS attracted to Style (Ep 2 made that...abundantly clear), he isn’t remotely ready to pursue anyone. Not only is Fadel nursing a broken heart, barely beating, he also has very justified suspicions about Style’s connection to Kant and Style's unnatural persistence.
So it's Style that has to pursue - he dodges Fadel's footsteps, and bullies his way into Fadel's life; but in between the frustration and annoyance, Fadel's walls begin to crack. And I think it's SO COOL that the first significant evidence we have of Fadel's walls crumbling is because Style puts his body on display for Fadel. Because Fadel responded to something that was naturally part of the way Style operates before he even met Fadel. And there are other, more compelling reasons why I think Fadel begins to fall for Style, but that's not really the point I'm trying to make here.
When Fadel said "If I like you, I'll do the pursuing", it wasn't just to get Style to back off. Because now that Fadel has finally chosen to explore something real with Style, we are seeing Fadel's words in action. I know some people have said Fadel's switch to flirting so blatantly with Style in Ep 4's gym scene came out of left field, but I think it may well be confirmation that this was always the dynamic they were meant to be in. Fadel likes pursuing and Style likes being pursued. They fit, they match, they're perfectly compatible.
(Fadel looks almost faintly amused by how "flustered" Style is. Because he doesn't know that Style is actually afraid of him - why would he, when Style has evidenced zero fear so far? So this comes across like Style is getting shy in response to Fadel's unexpected and more overt approach. And possibly this is Fadel starting to remember how much he enjoys the chasing.)
Unfortunately, Kant's revelation is going to screw allll of this up. But, we are finally going to see glimpses of how they work when they're aligned correctly in their dynamics! And while it will take a journey (and oh, it will be gloriously painful, won't it?), our boys are finally on the road to something lasting and I am sooo glad we get to come along for the ride. <3
#fadelstyle#fadel#style sattawat#the heart killers#the heart killers the series#thk meta#Also I think one of the reasons why Style's anger in ep 4 seemed much more INTENSE is that he really DID think#that Fadel missing him meant something real had shifted between them.#And he was GENUINELY hurt - potentially for the first time; more even than when Fadel punched him after they had sex.#Because he could tell - even during the act - that Fadel's heart wasn't in the encounter.#But the kitchen scene in episode 4... that was Style thinking he'd made a breakthrough.#And Fadel dangled what Style wanted the MOST and then also MOCKED him for it.#Which is why Style lashed out at the support group AGAIN.#// also I do think it was a GOOD thing that Style had to step outside of his comfort zone for this relationship to even start#because in a way it shows that Style does want something real with Fadel at the end of the day#he's literally the only person with ZERO actual real stakes in this game other than his loyalty to Kant; if he really wanted he could bail#/// ALSO even if fadel IS planning something with his sudden change in behaviour#i think its also possible that he's having fun with it because its what he'd like to do anyway#like they don't have to be mutually exclusive approaches#because yeah fadel's last look at style's retreating back was very... contemplative#<- thoughts that didn't really make sense with the point i was trying to make but came up while I was thinking it through#hui talks thk#hui talks thai bl
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GUYS GUYS GUYS
IT'S AN ANNIVERSARY OF THE "SOMETHING STUPID" ANIMATIC BY @seagiri OMG GUYS LET'S GOOOOOOO!!!!!
(this animatic literally was the reason why I got into tf2 so GO WATCH IT IT'S BEAUTIFUL I PROMISE!!!)
#cj 24#art#doodles#my art#artists on tumblr#team fortress 2#tf2#tf2 engineer#tf2 soldier#tf2 helmet party#tf2 rocket science#damn that was my first ship and I didn't even draw it once?#we gotta fix it lmaoo#okay so um this was supposed to be a sketch but I added colour and yeahhh#it isn't my best work but I spend all my evening drawing this so eat guys lol#I LOVE THOSE TWO SO MUCH AND THE ANIMATIC OMGGGG#I saw the animatic on tiktok and I WAS LITERALLY OBSESSED#I knew abt tf2 long before that (I have an older brother lol) and I even knew some of the lore#but I nevwr really liked it idk why xD#but after the animatic I straight up became the biggest tf2 fan#so yeah THANK YOU SO MUCH SEAGIRI DUDE I LOVE YOU!!!! :D#your art style changed the way I see art xD#getting into tf2 in general helped me with my own art style and I even started to draw more :)))#so basically gay people saved me yay#something stupid#like I love youUuuuuUuuu#*dies*#WHY IS ENGIS EYES ARE SO WEIRD HELPPP#also literally no one asked but engis second hand is on soldiers ass because I said so
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there should've been at least a full view of Fíli's body in the funeral scene
"Fíli you didn't deserve any of this" we all say in unison
#you already know how much i hate the way the hobbit movies are not canon-accurate at all#but what my boy Fili did to deserve such erasure... not even Mahal knows#not only he's the “least important Durin” in the movies somehow?? like he's literally the heir?? hello???#(Thorin's the king and we have that -ugh- Kíli subplot... nothing for Fíli)#we didn't even get a full body view like the rest of the departed. why.#but tbh I hate the funeral scene in general in the movies (the whole change w/ the Elvenking's character) so yeah#this is just the cherry on top#before anyone comes for my head for anything I've said: the movies are great movies BUT most definitely not good the hobbit adaptations#never in a million years will I ever say “if you don't feel like reading the book just watch the movie and I'll tell you the rest :)”#because literally no YOU'll be telling me the rest 😭#but also never in a million years will I ever say “please for the love of everything holy do NOT ever watch those terrible halfling films”#the hobbit#fili and kili#fili durin#kili durin#the hobbit thorin#thorin oakenshield#the hobbit movies
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having one of those mid-20s moments where you're like well damn. im really not a teenager anymore i dont hate myself anymore actually. like its insane
sorry i gotta ramble but this feels too silly to post anywhere else
#kk.txt#not snz#like for a while even the thought of like admitting i didn't hate myself felt like.. like i was being full of myself#idk what clicked in my brain a few years ago but it felt like i started to see myself more and like understand myself as a person#like i would a friend. and i just didn't think like that before i guess lmao#but like idk i dont talk about my personal life much but ive been recovering from post-pandemic agoraphobia#and i just went on my first big trip alone and im like. god its barely there anymore its just a little shadow in the corner of my mind#that only spreads occasionally now instead of overwhelming me#like im still terrible at a lot a lot a lot of social interaction type stuff but im like.. doing better than i thought id be able to#a few years ago. like idk im not good at.. change and especially conceptualizing myself as someone who can change and be fluid#like i really do think a majority of my person like my core morals and demeanor havent changed that much. and i like that#it makes me feel more secure to be that way#but at the same time its like my mental image isn't nearly as self hating as it used to be#like i used to picture myself as coming off basically the same way as that girl from watamote lmao like#ugly greasy awkward offputting weird#but now im like.. im just some guy... like yeah i have less experience putting effort into my appearance and i slouch and i have acne#but i am also capable of looking good occasionally. i dont need to do it all the time#ok i got off the bus and my train of thought died goodbye
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geralt and per procura no, PERPRO MOUNTAIN
#(or 'perpro top') ?#either way this smacked me in the face. PERPRO GÓRA#aaaand i got no idea how to translate that. what's a two-syllable english word that ends -oora and would be funny#it's okay geralt. you not understanding any latin phrases is me reading the hussite trilogy </3#it's the fucking 'i know' which gets me#[doesn't know and is advised on how he doesn't know] 'YEAH I KNOW OK'#it's giving ciri to yennefer blood of elves chapter 7 'and i bet he saw many an analogy too...'#love that geralt finds nenneke after having not seen her since childhood. IMMEDIATELY starts complaining to her#geralt saying this and that to nenneke AUGH the fact that he's always been a whiner <3#that meme of the poor kid upset near the car captioned 'he thought school was only for one day oh he mad 😭😭'#'he thought witchering was only for one day oh he mad'#book: crossroads of ravens#excerpt#c: geralt#the witcher books#this is so funny to me because angouleme knew what per procura meant because she used it in a rude way#'he can kiss my ass per procura'#and angouleme was about 19 and geralt is about 18 here#so it's like in the good place when michael goes '... JASON GOT IT??? *JASON*???? ohhh this is a new low'#it's only endearing because we know he grows up to be also insufferable with the latin just as his creator is <3#the elbow-high diaries#this is the best prequel because it's like awwww he changed so much and wow. he did not change At All#nenneke: 'dont get in trouble' geralt: 'I DiDn'T dO AnYtHiNg'
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okay this letter hurt like hell but you know what i'm really glad i finally know why kit was so angry at ty, because it never made sense to me before. the narrative that kit's angry because ty changed himself, took away part of himself by going through with the necromancy is a loooot better imho than kit being mad either about the necromancy or that ty didn't reciprocate his confession (when ty was clearly in absolutely no position mentally or physically to respond to that). kit being mad because of what it stood for, what it meant – the confirmation that nothing he could've done would ever have changed ty's mind, nothing would've been enough to save ty from himself/what he believed he had to do, kit himself couldn't be enough to help him, nor could anything. ty was always going to do it. hurts like HELL but i really love this slight change in perspective, makes me understand kit's point of view a lot better because prior to this his being angry to ty didn't really add up to me
#kit x ty#kit herondale#ty blackthorn#i really didn't like the narrative of him being mad at ty before bec it didn't seem fair when ty was clearly completely#focused on livvy and when it wasn't about kit at all#but this kinda makes more sense? like kit's not mad at ty for not reciprocating or even really for the necromancy#but for what it meant: that nothing would've ever been enough to change his mind – that ty truly did not see another way – that#no other way was worth considering except to bring livvy back no matter the cost#that's a lot more fair and makes SO much more sense to me#but also yeah fucking SUCKS because kit clearly has no idea that he meant anything to ty and to be fair#we also haven't been in ty's head but. i digress.#YEAH THIS HURTS .#kitty#cassandra clare#twp
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Ah I forgot I made this last October. Patreon request for connverse family photo (with middle-aged Connie and Steven and adult kiddos) requested by Connversin!
Ebony and Sakura(?)'s faces (the two above Lion) didn't turn out the way that I wanted to look, but overall with my record, not bad for something I drew under three hours. lol
#Granted I don't really draw much connverse kids (even to this day).#So I didn't really have any practice drawing the kids. Just all imagination#connverse#connverse kid#Listen. I do imagine Steven having a beard when he's older#But like. I don't know how to draw that. RIP#Can you just imagine the beard for me? ;-;#but yeah. Wow multiple characters under three hours :D#(the next time I attempted multiple characters in an image though. it took me multiple days. lmao)#Gold TL#They are taking a photo in the middle of Autumn but I butchered the background and just gave up and blurred it so hard.#Steven Quartz Universe#Connie Maheswaran#Ebony OC#Rohini OC#Zachary OC#Sakura OC#(Zachary and Sakura's names might be changed)#Lion SU#my shiz#skedoobles#patreon#September patreon request#Gah also don't have any idea with drawing older people#but if they looked younger than their age can I just chalk it up to Steven's healing powers?#OC#muh connverse kid
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Posting this pre-emptively since I might doodle in the meantime- Happy new years eve y'all!
And my shenanigans? The ones I mentioned? Got my hair dyed! N is going to need a new upgrade in her aesthetic in the coming year and I'm going to enjoy my new vibes <3
#spot!drawn#my art#utmv oc#ichor#ichor sans#N#oc#persona#I wanted to draw these two this year because last year I did a Lot of ocs in one big sketch#but this feels more fitting to 'reconnect' in a way with an old character who I've been coming back to again + again#just.... yeag#also for the sillies?#I walked into that place with low expectations (the other dye I did before. silver. used to be too subtle against my natural colors)#but my stylist was so excited to be doing my color and she was willing to do more than I had expected and so!!#it's bright and bold and perfect!#first time in my life I actually have color in my hair... woah....#+ it helps that i didn't have a parent hovering over my shoulder this time around lmao-#but yeah!!! yippeee!!!!#parents were startled by how much color I had gotten done but it's manageable- however I forgot I#am seeing my bro later and I have NO clue what his opinion will be soooo wish me luck lmao#anyways it's not rainbow. but it's bright and I'm happy!!#last note: I'm goofy af. put blue+purple into N's design claiming I'm not a huge fan of those colors#like hell I'm not! they're on my head now!!#I think I tricked myself into liking them haha-#this does mean I have to change her pants on the human design I think because. they do not look that great lmao-
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My initial idea for Drax :)
#marvel#marvel comics#marvel fanart#my art#Drax#Drax The Destroyer#gotg#guardians of the galaxy#fanart#Concept 1 anyway I'm not fully pleased just yet#Also he has four arms#I love him so very much#I wanted him to look more alien but I didn't really change much besides him being potentially inhumanly buff and having four arms#Four blades ...#I love him very very very much#Extremely#He is so dear to me#All of the Guardians are#<3333#Also yeah I gave him those scary dog eyes because I think it's more unnerving and that really fits with the fact that he literally just#stares at everyone
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I'm gonna take some time to digest and think about that comic before I come to a decision. The decision being whether to continue to support you or just leave you be.
If I decide to leave you be, just know that there are no hard feelings, okay?
You are on anon so I don't know if this is someone who I've talked to before, but either way, yes, no hard feelings. I completely understand. It's the internet, anyone can unfollow anyone for any reason, but also I know this is an uncomfortable topic and even triggering to some, and some people are just not here for that. I was contemplating posting it for a while for this reason.
I do kinda want to point out that the purpose was/is not to fetishize a relationship with a minor and I will never fetishize or glorify that ever. It's wrong and unhealthy even if there's no malicious intent present. (am pointing it out because I got a bunch of asks about it and I'm 🧍) But this is fiction, and I portrayed the scenes the way that I did mainly because I made the comic from Floyd's perspective and I wanted to get in his head and show what exactly he was feeling in that moment. If the end result makes you feel uncomfortable or "flustered" (I don't think I'm using the right English word) in a certain icky way, that was kind of the point and I believe should be a normal reaction from an adult.
I spent my high school years (normally 15-19yo, but it was more like 14-22+) living in a dorm in the country's capitol and I attended a vocational school for visual arts that is pretty notorious for having a drug problem (I'm talking about mostly weed) and being full of weirdos (students free and comfortable expressing themselves and experimenting with expressing themselves but weirdos is the used term lol). The dorm is also located very near the city's subcultural center (look up Ljubljana Metelkova if you want, it's kind of what I imagine the underground scenes the bandmates visit looking like) which is like a hangout place for subcultures like punks and metalheads and the lgbtq. Anyway coming from living my whole life in a rural village where I still played with toys to somewhere like that was an insane shock to me. I sometimes felt like a toddler around young adults in a big city. And it was whiplash for many other teens too, some of whom quickly fell into bad crowds and spiraled, often those who came from bad home situations or controlling parents (heck some even came from elementary schools already doing problematic things). The amount of rumors of things happening in that dorm and school (drugs, sex, messing around with older teens/adults, whatever)... (I'm not saying it was like a concerning percentage of students but it was happening) Some of these people who made some bad choices were and some still are my friends, some of whom still struggle with some things today and it's heartbreaking.
Anyway where I was going with this is that in high school I was always kind of the anti all of that (to the point it had the opposite effect on me where I didn't even try out the normal teenage things) and just thinking "what the fuck is wrong with these people?" And recently, when my headcanons for Floyd started going in the direction that they have, I started wondering the same thing. Just not in a judgemental way this time. More like I want to dissect this situation carefully and understand it from everyone's perspective and see what lead up to it. I've always been very fascinated by morally gray and dark fiction for this reason and this is right up that alley.
So yeah, this isn't for everyone, and I can't hold a grudge if anyone unfollows me for it. But what I'm doing here is inspired a lot by real life situations and my weird deep dives into articles about trauma and its effects (also pretty sure I'm also processing some of my own personal emotions through these blorbos but I am not going into that), and I feel like I'm taking a pretty realistic approach to it (if you ignore the fact that this is fucking Trolls). I'm just slowly exploring how a relationship between a teen who comes from a sheltered almost cultish upbringing (pop trolls live in a concentration camp and are dealing with the horrors by singing and enjoying every minute of their every day like life is a ticking time bomb) and a young adult who never got a chance to grow up because he never experienced a childhood and is suddenly being liked by someone for the first time in his life (I'll talk more about Les some other time), would develop into hopefully something okay for both of them. Because I do want them to both be okay in the end. And I'm sharing some of my brainworms online for anyone who's interested. I just can't share ALL of my brain worms and sometimes I forget that people don't have a view of what's going on in my head. Yeah... This answer became long for no other reason except that I can't sleep because I posted that comic, damn. That's what I get for dropping that bombshell on top of what was mostly fun "comedic" posts about the AU so far.
#answered#I never actually intended for them to get together when I designed Les#it just kind of happened and by that point I didn't want to change Les's age#because that would completely rewrite his character#and I like his character#but yeah I ship them. although when they're older#at this point I just find floyd's crush adorable and his actions concerning#les didn't sign up for any of it but he also doesn't have the heart to throw floyd out of the band#because he's worried someone with bad intentions could find him instead#yeah#it's messy#but that's the whole point#also I think it just looks so much worse in the comic because les is giant#if he were a rock troll they'd be nearly the same height#this is also something I didn't account for#ex bandmates
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Made cake at 11pm today to celebrate my engagement because my parents refused to be happy about it.There is perhaps a small amount of bitterness in me. Cake was good though. Even if it's kind of gray for some reason.
#my mom could not emphasize enough now disappointed she was with my lifestyle choice but that she wanted me to be happy#and like girl#okay thank you for trying but also#she was patting herself on the back so hard for being such a good ally and accepting of it#and like no#you're at best tolerent which I know is better than a lot of lgbtq people get#but god fucking damn it it hurts so much that I'm engaged was met with I'm so disappointed and became a long discussion about religion#like I know if my partner has been a man they would have at least said congratulations instead of how they're disappointed#I tried to show my mom the engagement ring and she gave me such a look of reluctant disgust before changing the subject#so she didn't have to actually see it#and I'm just#yeah#there's some disappointment and devestation#anyways#happy engagement chem 🥂wish you were here#id feed you my suspiciously gray cake so we could get food poisoning together#me as person
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au where itachi actually did just Decide To Do That and tobito made up the whole story about him being ordered to bc he wanted to sic him on killer bee (and maybe snatch that yummy yummy kotoamatsukami) so when sasuke shows up at the summit and demands danzou explain himself danzou has no fucking clue what he's talking about
#naruto#naruto shippuden#uchiha sasuke#uchiha itachi#uchiha obito#shimura danzou#sasuke: IS IT TRUE#danzou: ....is this about hiruzen and i? bc this seems like a bit of an overreaction#sasuke: overreaction my ass IS IT TRUE#danzou: uh yes? but only on the desk#sasuke: what tf do you mean ''only on the desk''???#danzou: what. what do YOU mean#sasuke: murdering my whole family#danzou: ohhhhh ok i thought you were asking about- yeah no this makes much more sense. also wasn't that your brother#sasuke: yeah. did you tell him to tho#danzou: ????????????? no???? wtf kid#sasuke: ....ok *leaves*#torune: sir with all due respect what the fuck was that#danzou: i have no fucking idea. gotta say tho this is kinda a nice feeling#fuu: sir?#danzou: being accused of something i DIDN'T do. usually when people yell at me about stuff it's stuff i actually did#torune & fuu: ...#danzou: so yeah this is a nice change of pace. anyway i think i saw a building collapse over there let's go see if there are any orphans
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yall Im so fucking tired. This month has been exhausting. I promise Im alive, just barely functional atm.
#personal#rant below#begining of the month docs said dad had less than a month. Hes still around but declining#been taking care of him and my mom#along with working full time#and my boyfriend doing his damndest to keep me busy when Im not helping with dad#which is great except Im so tired#but also I havent been able to sleep much#and I've lost my appetite which apparently is a grief thing I didn't know about#So I've managed to get all the physical grief symptoms and it is taking a fucking toll#so your girl is sleeping in tomorrow and spending the day doing my own little crafts and avoiding people as much as I can#a girl just wants some sleep and a fulfilling snack but all she is being given are slight naps and unappealing food. send help.#anyways after this experience Ive decided that I no longer give any fucks because you only live once so Im just gonna do what I want foreve#and actually live life instead of being constrained by societal standards#after all this is over of course. gotta take care of dad first#also I got to paint the door because he was sick of staring at the porch. so its a lake view now#woooo#yeah so thats my life update for you all#also I saw a girl for the first time in 9 years today who completely changed the tradgetory of my life and didn't know it. so that was fun.#exhausing but fun#also idgaf about spelling right now I am running on caffeine and pure will power atm
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If there's one thing I've respectively noticed from Zionists and defenders of Israeli war crimes, it's that every source, argument and potential avenue to explore each explanation is riddled with cherry picking, moving the goalposts and mental gymnastics to explain why their conclusions, which typically are barely even related to the sources they use, somehow overshadow literal reality and what we see with our own eyes.
While scrolling, one example I came across was the repetitive misrepresentation of BLM, antifa and quotes from Martin Luther King Jr, as well as statistics, scholarly journal articles and government website information. These are all good sources, yet every single time they're mangled completely until the only possible "interpretation" of any of them is "well Israel is right to defend itself after shorting rockets beforehand because the retaliation was brutal and all Arabs are bad by default therefore". As if any of these sources are even about individual exceptions of Israel versus hatred towards Arabs.
I think what I find most absurd, as someone in the middle of their own studies, is how every bit of critical thinking and logic goes out the window as they do every single thing possible to do what professors worldwide say NOT to do when evaluating sources. It's like watching a race to see who can tangle and misconstrue scientific information to fit their world view the fastest. Then said people say "um actually I studied at university before so it's actually not wrong that I'm doing this exact this everyone is warned not to do because I have a permit". Ignorance I can forgive, but willful and arrogant manipulation? That's another thing entirely.
#zionism#my gods y'all need to get a grip and start remembering that confirmation bias exists#and y'all use sources continually in this way while just generally having so much bs of presenting How To Not Use My Own Sources#or actually to be more correct you clearly do know you just choose not to because you'd rather be justified in resource theft and profit#Like the while tome it's been about either material gain or feeling good about yourself while you shit on strangers#and then I also see y'all make other accounts ro harass random Arabs for fun and random queers who aren't even related like#the fuck is wrong with y'all go sit down and think about why you all do this pointless bs#it's such a waste of your own life spending it looking for fights to help with your bottomless insecurities#Israel#fuck israel#long live palestine#like you can say hamas was bad all you like it doesn't actually change the situation and what y'all have been doing for 76 years#and actually longer but y'all arent ready for that conversation and how Zionists butchered Jews and helped Nazi Germany historically#like sorry that Was a thing that happened and if you want to label yourselves as The Sacred Protectors of Jews then you have to face that#Pretending history didn't happen isn't helpful to anyone including yourselves y'all just making Zionism look even worse and like idiocy#I mean it is but you all aren't helping yourselves by being literal holocaust deniers#and being like “but Zionists saved Jews afterwards” as if that somehow erases the fact they ALSO helped the Nazis#like history is full of contradictory bullshit so when you say “but what about this” you know that doesn't erase the other things right??#“That's worse. You DO see how that's worse right?”#I'm shaking you all and yelling this like it is WORSE that they killed Jews and then started playing the saviour and fellow victims#You do see how that is really bad for Jews today to be in a place created for political power plays and material gain through any means#like you see how that could be REALLY dangerous for Jews if they're that expendable to Zionist entities and the government#and you do realise that is literally what we are seeing from the actions of said government#and how they acting sadly very predictablely when you consider the historical contexts for its existence?#People who research this shit aren't surprised because it happens every single year and has been happening for centuries -#- before Israel the holocaust etc. It's been like this for as long as political Zionism and the French Revolution#It's been going on since pre Marxism and pre a lot of differing things but y'all pretend Zionists haven't ever harmed Jews ever when -#- there's a long history of internal conflict and in fighting that formed modern Zionism and plenty of internalised antisemetism within it#Yeah there's a genuine desire for return to the land (Not Own It just return and live peacefully)#but that is very very different to Political Zionism that formed as a socialist nationalist movement
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depression is really weird actually wdym i spent 2.5 years of my life in bed
#and wdym that lifestyle changed so quickly into being out and about and an active member of the world??#very proud of myself#and i mean it wasn't that quick of a change#it was like 1.5 years primarily depression bedrotting with occasional school -> primarily depression bedrotting ->#primarily depression bedrotting with 3-9 hours of work weekly -> straight into 31+ hours school+9-12 hours work weekly#so there was somewhat of a gradual progression#but still#also wowza i wake up 7-7:30am every morning now. 1pm was an early wake up for a not so insignificant amount of time#i mean of all fundamental growth years to miss out on the ages like what 12/13-15 aren't too bad? they would suck in a different way if i#had been socially involved#anyway it's just. yea i'm proud of myself but it is a crazy lifestyle change#and even when i was deeply depressed in a horrible routine i feel like i learned a lot. how to regulate my emotions and cope well and find#the joy in everything. bc if i stayed in bed all day then i would at least be happy about the sun or whatever#and for the while of being not at school at all i WANTED to be at school i just could not find one bc our school system is so cute like tha#(basically every school is at capacity and the local school that has a guaranteed place for me would have been an all boys or girls 😭)#but i miraculously found and got into this school and miraculously made it work so well for me socially and now academically#it's also a good time to get back into school for my education bc any later and it woulda been pretty bad for all my certifications and uni#ive missed out on so much maths that its not worth it to me to try and catch up but my teacher knows that#but ive always hated maths regardless i only ever understood it for the first half of yr 7 then my attendance dropped#and after my recent exam i decided to try harder at school. but i still got an A on the exam i didn't study for!! academic weapon fr#i'm just idk thinking back to myself in the past few years#and how hopeless it all felt. but i got out of it!! i beat the depression and social anxiety and found a good place and made the most of it#and during the peak of my depression i remember i went out someplace near my old school and panicked so so badly about seeing#kids from my old school. and the friends at the time didnt really check on me when i went to shake and cry in a side street lmao#i kept the best of that friendgroup and have better friends now. but anyway now i take a bus each morning with some kids from my old school#and you see these hands? they look like they're shaking to you?#anyway yeah it's just cool i got to this point :) i really had no hope for so long but now i have a life i'm living and a future i'm build#--ing towards#which is funny i just decided some random day last november after watching some better call saul 'huh actually lawyer would b pretty cool'#and will i get there? we'll see but i do have hope now
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