#also wtf is his deal with the master

[riacte]

“oh watch doctor who it’ll be fun” and im crying my eyes out watching the end of time. aaaaaaaa at least 14 got back with donna 😭

[roseband]

The defunding of public colleges was also very racial. With Nixon’s education secretary complaining that there were too many diverse and poor students there. It’s suspicious that tuition was added just as numbers of black/hispanic students were growing

There’s an advertising push to show how “bad” public colleges are,

I’ve literally had coworkers say I went to a school “not as good as theirs” in earlier jobs right out of college (CCNY alumn), but nearly all of my adjunct professors in art/design/marketing/web design classess also taught at SVA, Pratt, and the New School. We also were literally at the same job, and at some I was higher paid, and had no loans cause well, I went to CUNY. So I had the same education as coworkers, even sometimes having the exact same professors and curriculum as them, be at the same job, but because someone spent a premium amount of money for the same thing, they’d look down on it. 

(also CUNY/SUNY are free for first undergrad degree for NYS residents making under 125k again and people don’t know about it!!!)

The vast majority of my coworkers in my (pretty visible and don’t want to self dox) apparel job are CUNY/SUNY grads (mostly SUNY FIT), and people still have the “if it costs more it must be better” brainrot when choosing schools

[rapunzelbro]

Imagine Lucifer and Adam fighting over you

I would like to start off by saying sorry in advance. I have no clue about religion, if purgatory is the right term or if I’m understanding this correctly. This was what term showed when I asked in between hell and heaven. If I am not accurate please please correct me. Request: would u do a adam x reader x lucifer where basically there fighting over the reader to try and win them over to be in hell or heaven

Master list Tag request

When you died you never thought you’d end up in fucking purgatory of all things

You did you not want to deal with any of that shit? You just died and now this?

You had the option to follow through on correcting your small sins you had left, or honestly say fuck it and go live your life in hell.

You couldn’t give one less of a fuck but two specific people did and it confused the fuck out of you

Lucifer and Adam

Adam was the first to meet you since you were technically one step in the door but also at the same time not. You appeared at his doorstep practically

He explained a lot of what happened, and why you couldn’t exactly stay in heaven or hell.

He shared the remaining sins that remained for you, and how to get them forgiven,

Bud actually was willing to help someone for once?

Wtf did you do get him to help someone who is not himself? Holy shit

You only had a 4 or so left by the time you found the Hazbin hotel..

Now Lucifer was intrigued by your situation. Not many people got to that state, to his knowledge

He knew a lot about you already to begin with he totally didn’t stalk you and was pissed about the time you spent with Adam

Found out you ended up at the Hazbin hotel, since you had no real space to stay since you could go to heaven if you pleased, but not looked well upon

Charlie told him about the whole situation to try and get his advice on it all since she really didn’t know how to go about it but she desperately wanted to help you

He didn’t want to help you with your final sins though, he wanted you to stay for himself. He would never let his daughter know that.

He spent time with you often encouraging your ass to do stuff that sinners would do but you’re just so stuck on what to do so you often don’t do the things.

Lucifer and you bonded more than you and Adam

Dude just told you constantly about how horrible it sucks down there in hell

Annoyed you even more since he didn’t let you stay in heaven after saying that?

But oh yeah it’s fine because he goes down to see you🥰

What the fuck man

If you ever needed a place to stay Lucifer was always there. Even if you didn’t feel like staying at the hotel

If wanted to talk about the shit you have left to do to get into heaven he will listen

While he didn’t agree with your initial decision to finish your sins, that doesn’t mean he didn’t still care about you regardless of what you end up doing

When you got to your final sin to pass through the gates of heaven, that’s when Lucifer stepped in

“What the actual FUCK are you doing here sinner?”

“Bitch you know why I’m here”

Lucifer and then arguing over your ass while you’re just there chilling like wtf?

“Y/n do you really want to be stuck up there with this douchebag”

“Do you really wanna be with The Most Hated Being in All of Creation!”

Those two screaming at each other while you are just watching the two trying to debate on what you should do

The people of heaven who knew of you, didn’t like you in the slightest because you were never going to be a true angel in their eyes

The people in Hell couldn’t give one less fuck about your situation. You had so many friends down there who you considered practically family now.

Both giving you the most desperate looks both wanting you to go with them

“Lucifer.. I’m going with you”

The second you say that your appearance goes from the weird hybrid you were stuck in to being a full blown demon.

Adam is fucking crushed and pissed sending you two the fuck out insantly

Lucifer is so happy

“Wow you must be a mega turnoff since even all girls like what have to offer more than you~”

Gladly takes you back to his place, he has yet to explain to Charlie that you gave up on redemption.

He doesn’t want to break it to her but knows he will have to soon

But for now you picked him over that bitch and that’s honestly worth it.

Lucifer/All Taglist: @vendetta-ari @brithedemonspawn @katshyperfixations

@aphestina @satansmanager @irethepotato @mixplara

[absolutebl]

Best 23 of BL 2023 - Quirky Awards

SHOCK & AWE AWARDS

1. Biggest BL surprise of 2023:

The last 3 months of 2023 in general got my biggest WTF award.

GMMTV fielding OffGun AND TayNew in the same quarter while also airing Last Twilight (arguably one of their best BLs ever)

That they ALSO optioned 3 JBLs

That there's a high heat omegaverse BL staring Pavel

That there were 20 BLs airing and none of them Korean.

With 5 VAMPIRE BLs announced for next year

But my prize in this category goes to My Dear Gangster Oppa.

It's just crazy:

Thai talent, Korean money + IP (this is adapted from a manwha) airing on a Chinese channel (iQIYI). Plus it was GOOD and made smart reuse of a pair who richly deserved it. I'm delighted by the eclectic insanity of this production. And wonder if any other film genre could even do anything like this.

2. The “that country did WHAT?” award:

The 8th Sense from Korea?!

I mean, seriously?! Dealing with metal health, suicide, darkness, therapy, age gap, & first time love BUT FROM KOREA? And then openness and casual boyfriend physical affection? What's next? An actual hard fought coming out narrative with an HEA? Gay domesticity and families?

Careful Korea, you'll strain something. Possibly your own culture and film industry.

I should stop having expectations of Korea, they keep surprising me.

Runners up: Korea letting OnlyOneOf do Bump Up Business not to mention that OmegaX thing. AND Korea adapting Why R U? What are you up to, Korea? Qua? Is this a coded message? Should we send help? Do you need snacks?

3. Biggest casting whoa! where did you come from? award:

GeminiFourth in My School President.

Seriously? Babies what? How did GMMTV find you? How do you exist? How is BL this lucky?

4. That studio did WHAT now? award:

GMMTV putting EarthMix into Moonlight Chicken.

And then doubling down with G4 as the damn sides.

Fucking genius.

5. I’m sad you were ignored award:

Destiny Seeker.

It's just a really fun little Thai pulp, the pairs were good, silly dialogue, plus consent and other good rep. I enjoyed it. No one talked about it AT ALL.

6. 2023 BL That Actually Made Me Lose My Mind Award?

Laws of Attraction. -The casting, the crazy story, the soapy drama! But specifically: Film playing Charn - the range of his smiles alone. GLORIOUS

I mean I Feel You Linger in the Air also sparked something in me, but LoA drove me actually nuts.

NARRATIVE AWARDS

7. Best story 2023:

La Pluie

I know, you're surprised, right? At the time I didn't chat much about it but I really enjoyed the discourse others were having. I love anything that really examines the fated mates (soulmates) trope and the idea of "the one". What a clever way to do that. (This is one reason UWMA is my favorite Thai BL.)

This one reminded me of the way Color Rush approached allegory and that's no bad thing. Such an impressive little piece.

8. Best narrative structure 2023 award:

Unintentional Love Story.

I know this may seem a simplistic pick. But I love the tidiness of this no frills contemporary romance, how the culture of work and personal ethics and corruption fight against the main character's affection and integrity. Poor baby boy is driven into a corner and then punished for it. But it is punishment he feels he deserves, and so it is up to his (now) ex to figure out what went wrong and why.

It's just great. I love it when no one is stupid or wrong, it's just impossible circumstances and unintentional love deeply felt.

9. Best 2023 dialogue (script) award:

Jun & Jun

Never before has Korea laced a BL with that much perfectly executed innuendo. It was a master class. I didn't know you could be that lascivious in Korean, quite frankly. Plus the way the 2 Juns constantly seamlessly transition between formal register (work, public - where they are boss/employee) to informal register (when they are alone and age mates + childhood sweethearts).

Beautiful to hear and watch.

10. Favorite scene 2023:

The dub con scene in I Cannot Reach You because I AM TRASH for an out of control seme. I'm sorry I just AM.

I have said it before, I will say it again, NO ONE DOES THIRST like Japan. And when that thirst bubbles over, it is heart-clenching and very hot.

11. The most rewatchable BL of 2023 award:

Our Dating Sim

That scene where they lie on the floor + the stolen kiss + giggle? Come on, it should be on comfort repeat in war rooms. It could bring world peace.

ACTORS & CHARACTERS AWARDS

12. Best performance of a queer actor in a leading role, 2023:

Fluke in Make a Wish.

It was fun to see him as an irreverent immortal and while I love OhmFluke I also really enjoyed this new pairing. It was a genuine pleasure to watch.

13. Best pining 2023:

The moot pining in Tokyo in April is...

Boys, seriously? Japan must you destroy us like this? Hurts so good.

14. Best wingman 2023 (The Namgoong Award)

Tiw from My School President

I mean, come on, of course it's him!

(Also can you believe Mark went on from this to do fricking Only Friends!? To Last Twilight! Come on GMMTV GIVE HIM A LEAD!)

15. Biggest OMG I LOVE you boys together, YAY!

Dimpled McMafia & Feral Bunny Foo Foo from Kiseki Dear to Me.

They were feral for each other.

We were feral for them

It was a whole delightful THING.

16. Most unexpected return of a BL pair? award:

The Private Lessons pair showing up in Love Class 2.

I know it was only a cameo, but SERIOUSLY? Thank you SO MUCH Korea! A big studio picking up a Strongberry pairing? I love you.

Seriously tho between them, Taiwan & Korea tried for ALL THE CAMEOS this year.

17. Well aren't you two just the prettiest? award:

NetJames in Bed Friend.

Need I say more?

18. LIFETIME ACHIEVEMENT AWARD

Bah Vinh in Vian & Mr Cinderella 2. I did like either show but I loved him in them. Especially the make outs.

Yes you have chemistry with all the boys in Vietnam and you kiss beautifully. But it's okay now honey, you have the crown. Relax, you're stressing us out.

RANDOM PICKS

19. Favorite Linguistic Moment of 2023:

Our Dating Sim

Caught in the act by the elevator scene. OMG it's so funny. They're being such boyfriend shits to each other, and to be caught in the act by THAT character, and try to manifest formal language whole cloth? Hilarious.

Honorable mention to War Peanuts in Destiny Seeker.

20. Biggest disappointment of 2023:

You Are Mine

Seriously Taiwan, AGAIN you disappoint me with an Office BL? You're Taiwan, land of offices and suits. This should be YOUR SETTING TO WIN. And yet... argh. I mean it wasn't bad. But it wasn't good either. Stop it Taiwan, do better.

Runners up? Between Us, Chains of Heart, Dangerous Romance - this was a HOTLY contested category.

+ 2 Winners in the sub-category of FUCK YOU FOR THAT ENDING award:

The Director who Buys Me Dinner - I mean this nicely but: you have your lane now Korea, stop hurting us, that's Japan's responsibility and they do it better.

I Feel You Linger In the Air - I'm just hugely disappointed. Thailand ALMOST got its second 10/10 from me, but that damn ending.

Argh.

21. Best Wardrobe/Prop Use 2023

The shower of packaged bedsheets in My Personal Weatherman

Amazing. Brilliant. No notes.

22. Best Queer Rep 2023

Chot in Step By Step

In fact, all the queer characters in this show were treated with great integrity.

AND props to this cast for refusing to do fan service. GOOD FOR YOU! Fuck those sasang wankers.

Runners up? The found family cast of Love in Translation and the Rainbow Rice Cakes in The New Employee.

23. Best Meta Trope call out

Tin Tem Jai

Come on, what a zinger, but at themselves (and Taiwan)

Final question: which of the 23 was the hardest for me to pick?

Honestly? Question #1 this year. But also question #20.

(Last year: 2022's Version) 

Remember I only pull from shows that were completely finished by the end of 2023. Or The Sign probably would have taken multiple categories. But it will fall into 2024 offerings.

(source)

[von2dutch]

Sugar baby | Jey Uso

Chapter four

Synopsis: Sex is not a big deal. ...You can have a no-strings-attached arrangement with someone you don’t care about.

Pairing: Jey Uso x Black Fem reader | word count: 5.6k | warning : smut, toxic behavior, protected sex | 18+ ONLY

Hey my baby dolls so this is chapter four and ima let you all know now this was a heavy long chapter so sorry in advance but other than that enjoy!

Series master list

Tag list

@shayaaaaaaa

@trashbin-nie

@paigereeder

@whatdoeseverybodywant

@empressdede

@superpietom

@bebesobrielo

@solefae

@skyesthebomb

@reci1996

@christinabae

@xsweetdellzx

Lastly, Enjoy

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“Bitchs get into relationships and forget about they friends huh.” Jasmine spoke on FaceTime while Dakota cut up some strawberries.

Dakota chuckled as Jasmine's face lit up on FaceTime, holding a surprised look. "Omg jasmine I did not forget about you," Dakota said with a smile.

“Did too! I was first before his ass.”

Laughing once more Dakota spoke again “Jas you know you my baby girl stop being stingy with me.”

Jasmine's eyes rolled as she pursed her lips before speaking. "Whatever, but I'm happy for you, Kota. All I see on Instagram is you smiling, and you've been glowing so brightly. I'm so happy that God answered my prayers because all I wanted was for my best friend to find true love. She deserves it."

“Awww jas you gon make me cry.” Dakota smiled big before making a sad face pretending to cry Jasmine’s laughed at her dramatic acts.

It had been almost a month since Jey asked Dakota to be his girlfriend and the month of February was almost over and time for Josh to go back to work something he dreaded himself.

Ever since the two got together in a more relationship standpoint they were inseparable to say the least. Jey was even more of a gentleman and lover boy than she had ever imagined , he got her flowers , feed her, rubbed on her, and he was also very affectionate and I mean VERY along with being a very touchy man. And most importantly the two had sex almost everyday he couldn’t resist his presence towards her and I mean they fucked from everywhere in the house beside the bed room. Joshua was a very freaky man to say the least.

Jey was a gentleman and a lover, he treated Dakota with the utmost respect and care. He showered her with flowers and gifts, fed her, and made her feel special. Their sexual chemistry was electric, and the two of them couldn't resist each other. He was a very kinky and open minded man, and he left no stone unturned in satisfying their desires.

In conclusion the two were infuriated with eachother.

“Omg Kota you remember that date I had a while ago? Why we doing the thing and all getting freaky and I accidentally farted out my ass while we in doggy style and I told him it was my pussy he said I’m lying and that he smell shit!”

Dakota couldn't contain her laughter as she shouted at Jasmine, “Wtf is wrong with you.” Despite Jasmine's attempt to tell her to stop laughing because it was something serious, Dakota continued to laugh uncontrollably anyways.

“Dakota that shit Isn’t even that funny.” Jasmine mumbled rolling her eyes “Ima hang up if you keep laughing at me.”

“Okay!okay! I’ll stop jas—.” Before Dakota could finish her sentence Jey walked inside the kitchen. Jey couldn't resist flirting a bit as he walked into the kitchen and saw Dakota cutting strawberries. He slipped his hands around her waist and smacked her on the butt playfully, leaving a trail of light kisses on her neck. "Come on, Ko, it doesn't take that long to cut some strawberries," he teased, his hands continuing to explore her body he placed his hand on her pussy rubbing at it. “I missed you.” he whispered in her ear, his voice low and husky.

Dakota squealed with pleasure as Jey touched her, her body responding to his touch in an instant. "Baby, I was just coming back up the stairs," she protested, giggling at his enthusiastic greeting. "I haven't even been down here for more than a minute!"

“Mmhmm whatever uce.”

“ Aye aye y’all bet not get freaky on this damn phone I know that!” Jasmine shouted through the phone, interrupting their conversation. The two of them stared back at her, both bursting into laughter.

"My bad, Jasmine," Josh said with a friendly nod, before turning his attention to Dakota. Without warning, he leaned in close and began kissing and licking her neck. His movements were animalistic, reminiscent of a lion eyeing its prey before pouncing. Dakota let out a soft moan, her breathing quickening as his tongue traced circles along her sensitive skin. Josh pulled back for a moment, his eyes blazing with desire as he stared into hers.

“Y’all just go do all that while I’m on the phone really?! Knowing ion got a man just crazy.” Jasmine ranted on fake crying while Dakota and Jey just continued to laugh.

Dakota turned around from the phone and found herself face to face with Joshua. He was wearing a white-grayish shirt with cut sides that revealed his tribal tattooed muscles and chest. His black Nike shorts had a touch of orange on the side, and he paired them with Nike slides and black Nike socks. His hair flowed softly as he stood there.

“Mhmm where you going Mr?” Dakota acquainted with a question reading her eyebrows.

“Going to the gym with Jimmy and solo before we gotta go back next week, that’s why I was tryna get you to hurry back upstairs so we can do a quickie before I leave but you wanted to be on the phone.”

“Josh please you’ll be fine we went all morning.” Dakota replied completely tuning out Jasmine being on the phone.

Dakota glared at Joshua, her eyes locking onto his as she pointed her finger in his face. Her tone was clear and firm, leaving no room for argument or misunderstanding. "Listen up," she said, "you better be back by 6 on the dot. And I'm not just saying that shit for the fun of it. I mean it. If you miss dinner tonight, you're in for some shit. Got it?"

Joshua swallowed hard, understanding the gravity of the situation. He knew that Dakota wasn't joking around, and he didn't want to find out what the consequences.

“Yes ma’ma!”

"Now give me some love before you leave, Big Daddy," Dakota said with a playful smile, her eyes sparkling with anticipation. She reached out and took hold of his cheeks, gently pulling him closer as she delivered a soft kiss.

Jey sighed softly, unable to resist her charm. "Stop giving me those baby ass kisses and come here," he ordered, his voice dripping with desire. His hand wrapped around her neck, the touch gentle yet possessive, as he pulled her into a passionate kiss. Their tongues explored each other's mouths.

Pulling back Dakota pushed him playfully before smiling shyly “Okay that’s enough cause I see what you trying to do.” She glared at him while he laughed knowing he was caught.

"Aright, alright, you caught me, but just one more and I'm out, okay?" he whined with plead.

“Okay one more and that’s it!” She gave in pulling him in for one more kiss He of course had to take it over board and tongue kiss her , his hands grabbing possessively around her ass before smacking it pulling himself closer towards her body chest to chest.

Jey pulled back smiling devilishly his gold grills peaking through “I love you Ko.”

Dakota smiled softly as she watched Jey walk out of the kitchen, heading toward the garage. "I love you too," she called after him, her voice filled with warmth and affection. "And More."

She watched him closely for a moment, taking in every detail of his appearance - the way his shoulders moved, the way he walked with confident, determined strides. She knew her love for him ran deep, and she was grateful for every single moment they shared together.

“I miss him already.” Dakota sighed softly, her pout turning into a frown as she realized just how much she missed him already. pouted with a frown upon her face.

“Girl you so dick whipped city girls down 1000s points.”

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UceyJucey • instagram story

“56,57,58,59,60!” Jey shouted out before jumping down from the pole by his hands which held his weight.

Josh shouted at his twin brother, "I told you I'm the better twin, Jim!" His words seemed to hang in the air as his defeated twin stood there, with the weight of defeat evident on his face.

“Man whatever you cheated Josh!”

“Man no i didn’t you just made yo’ ass gotta pay me $50 and I won.” Josh shouted back at his brother while solo stood there watching his older brother argue back and forth like they always did.

Jey had been working out at the gym for nearly four hours, and as it approached 6:00, he found himself caught in a familiar dilemma. Originally planning to leave at 4:00 to make it home in time for dinner and avoid Dakota's nagging, Jey's plans had changed when his brother challenged him to their daily competition. The two brothers had a fiercely competitive nature and would often challenge each other to prove who was better at various activities.

Jey stormed over to the bench, his breathing heavy as he sat down to catch his breath. "I didn't cheat!" he retorted, his voice laced with anger and exasperation. "It's you who can't handle losing, man."

He grabbed his phone from his duffle bag and noticed four missed calls from Dakota, his expression changing to one of guilt and apprehension as he checked the time. It was almost 6, and he knew he was in trouble. 5:59, to be exact.

“Fuck.” He mumbled to himself as Jimmy walked over noticing the worry in his brothers face he asked. “Whats wrong uce?”

Josh looked up from his phone sighing “Jimmy I was supposed to be home by 4 and it’s now 6.” He stressed as his two brothers laughed at him because it wasn’t the first time he was late home and Dakota got on his ass about it like last week.

Staring at his brothers with anger in his eyes and annoyed by them thinking it was funny.

“Man this shit not funny.” He voice aggressively and violently he grabbed his bags roughly before walking out the gym towards his car his brother trailing behind like lost kids all jumping inside the car.

“Josh I know you ain’t mad you late.” Jimmy spoke up still laughing at his brother.

Turning his head from the road Josh stared at his brother before speaking. “Shut up cause it’s your fault I’m late. I need to stop by the store and pick up some.”

After an exhausting drive back from the gym and the store, Joshua finally arrived home with his brothers. As he parked the car inside the garage, he carefully opened the door to his home, attempting to enter quietly. However, his attempt was thwarted when he was caught by Dakota, who was standing by the door with her hands on her hips.

Jey came to a sudden halt, a small smile playing on his lips as he attempted to divert her attention before clarifying his actions. "Hey Ko baby, I missed you," he said, leaning in for a kiss. However, she sidestepped him, pushing him away and crossing her arms in front of her chest.

“So why were you late this time.” She asked Her voice dripped with authority as she inquired about the reason for your tardiness. She had clearly set a specific time for you to be home, and she was not in the mood for any excuses.

Jey glanced back at Jimmy and pointed an accusing finger in his direction, "I swear it was Jimmy's fault. He always wanna challenge me ko.”

Jimmy smirked maliciously as he chimed in on the argument, knowingly lying in an attempt to stir up more trouble. "He's lying, Koko," he said, his tone dripping with malice. "I told him he should leave at four, but he insisted on sticking around even longer. He said you'd be fine, even though he knew you were expecting him home at 6. It's clear who's in the wrong here sister in law.”

“Now you're just fucking lying, Jimmy!" he spat. "I never said that, and Solo can back me up on that! Solo! Back me up!" Jey yelled, but Solo remained motionless and quiet.

Jey's expression turned to one of anger and frustration as he looked towards Solo for support, but Solo remained silent, refusing to get involved in the conflict. Jey turned back to face Jimmy, his voice dripping with barely controlled fury. "

Dakota, tired of the two arguing, rolled her eyes before shouting, startling them. “Look, I don’t care whose fault it was, but someone is getting in trouble. You three go wash up, and I’ll make the plates.” she announced firmly.

“Yes ma’ma.” All three answered, scrambling to dash up the stairs. Jimmy and Jey were at it again, arguing over who could reach the top first.

“Josh you cheating I was up the starirs first!”

“Man no I didn’t!”

As Dakota made her way to the kitchen to set up the plates, she couldn't help but shake her head in exasperation at the antics of the two. “These two just argue all day.”

After a few mins of making plates the boys played solo and Jimmy made there way down the stairs into the kitchen sitting at the island table.

“It smell hella good in here Sister in law, you making me miss trin girl.” Jimmy joked attempting to fake cry making Dakota laugh at his dramatic performance.

“Jimmy please and I’m not married to your brother yet so stop with the in law.” She rolled her eyes passing Solo and Jimmy their plates awaiting Jey to come down the steps next for his.

“Yet.” He replied.

“And what makes you think we’re gonna get married?” She arched her eyebrows with a skeptical expression.

Before he pole Jimmy took a sip of his water and answering her question. “Well for starters you all that man talked about at the gym ‘I wonder do ko miss me’ or ‘I wonder if ko done cooking yet’ and other shit ain’t that right solo?” He glanced over at solo for back up with him nodding with a yes to confirm.

“Then when we went out for drinks like last week he was drunk and started showing every female in the club a picture of you in his wallet talking about ‘That’s my fine ass wife y’all she take all my dick good’.”

“You forgot the suck dick good and squirt like a fire hydrant too.” Solo chuckled added on to Jey silly ness.

“Omg he is embrassing.” Dakota face palmed herself from embarrassment and also to stop from laughing. She knew how Josh got when he was drunk. He became very jokey and talking his shit no matter if anyone liked it or not but he also became very hornh as well.

She remembered the first time he called after having a few drinks with some of the guys from work after a great show at summer slam 22’.

Flashback

“Dakota you want another shot?” Jasmine asked over the music while Dakota nodded her head yes she grabbed the drink downing it before she shouted. “I love life.”

“Yeah a little to damn much no more drinks for you boo.” Jasmine shook her head with disgust while Dakota pouted.

“But that was my first one Jasmine and—.” Before Dakota could finish her sentence her phone rung in her hand she glanced at it and noticed it was Jey calling her through FaceTime.

“Jas I’ll be back.” She shouted over the musics dismissing herself from the group of women she walked through the crowd towards the bathroom she locked the door.

Dakota looked in the mirror making sure she looked okay before she answered the phone a drunk Joshua appeared on the screen smiling ear to ear.

"Hey Ko, baby!" Jey's voice came through the phone, his words slurred and groggy. Dakota could tell he was high and drunk from the way he spoke, his words coming out slowly and clumsily.

Dakota sighed, shaking her head in disappointment. "What's going on, Jey?" she asked, her tone filled with concern. "Are you alright?"

Nodding his yes he spoke again. “Yeah I’m cool I’m just a little drunk, aye baby why jimmy fall out the car?” He laughed loudly while Dakota started back not finding it funny.

“Joshua where are you?.”

“Vegas, Trin taking us back to the hotel she outside with Jimmy while he throw up.”

“Josh I told you not to get that drunk you don’t listen.” Dakota stressed sighing she shook her head.

“I’m sorry pretty mama, I promise I won’t no more you feel me?” He pouted poking his bottom lip out.

“Yes Josh.” Dakota rolled her eyes giving it.

"That's my girl." he said with a sly smile, his face lighting up with excitement. "I miss your fine ass, mama." He laughed, running his tongue along his lips in a seductive manner, as if tasting her already. Dakota felt a rush of desire course through her as Jey's words hung in the air, the promise of things to come exciting her in way she couldn't wait to explore.

“I miss you too bub.”

“Ima make that pussy squirt when I come back.”

Dakota's eyes widened in shock as she shouted, "Joshua!" His choice of words made her blush, and she hated that she liked it, but she couldn't resist it.

“I’m just saying ko, I can’t till I’m fucking you on my balcony and you tell me you love me while I’m in it.” He licked at his lips once more staring at Dakota through the phone undressing her with his eyes.

He was like a ravenous lion, eagerly waiting to devour her. He couldn't control his insatiable appetite for her, and the intensity in his words made it clear that he meant every single one of them.

“Can’t wait to get back and look at the faces you make while I’m in it. Tell me how deep my dick in yo’ pussy bae.”

“Joshua fatu if you don’t stop!” Dakota glared at the phone rolling her eyes playfully.

This was the one thing she hated when he got drunk he became so horny.

Flashback over

“And that ain’t all he did Ko ko he said he wanted to stick a straw in yo— what y’all talking about?” Jey asked as he approached the kitchen he came behind Dakota. she felt Jey's strong arms wrap around her, his breath on her neck sending a shiver down her spine. Dakota's breath hitched as she felt Jey's lips meet her skin, his touch gentle yet possessive. She turned to face him, her eyes locking with his as she tried to gather her thoughts.

"Nothing," Dakota replied, her voice a hushed whisper as she looked up into Jey's eyes. She then leaned forward, her lips brushing softly against his before she pulled back, turning away from him. Josh stood silently beside her, his plate in hand and his arm draped casually around Dakota's lower back and hips. She leaned slightly into his touch, their bodies pressing lightly against each other as they both focused their attention on their meals.

Dakota.Valentine • Instagram story

Dakota stepped out of the pool gracefully, droplets of water sliding slowly along her toned body, highlighting every curve. Her long braids clung to her wet skin, sending small rivulets of water running down her back. As she walked towards Jey, her breasts bounced and jiggled, their fullness evident even through the thin fabric of her swimsuit. Her ass swayed with each step, the curve of her hip accentuated by the damp fabric hugging her shape.

As the sun descended slowly, the captivating sight unfolded before my eyes. The palm trees danced in the chilly breeze, while birds soared gracefully alongside buzzing insects.

After dinner Josh had took his brothers home and came back and wanted to get in the pool before it got dark so him and Dakota decided to dip in.

He had a large wide pool in his backyard and he always wanted Dakota to get in it everytime she visited but she always declined.

Dakota smirked slightly as she walked towards Jey, his gaze fixed on her as he motioned for her to take a seat on his lap. "Why are you just staring at me?" she teased, her voice laced with amusement as her hips swayed seductively. Jey grinned mischievously, his hand patting his thigh invitingly. "Am I not allowed to admire my beautiful ass women?" he replied, his eyes roaming over her form appreciatively.

“I mean can you?” Dakota said With a teasing smile, Dakota straddled Jey's lap, wrapping her legs around his waist and pulling him close. As their bodies connected, she felt a jolt of pleasure run through her as she became fully aware of just how close they were. Her heart raced as she felt Jey's breath on her neck, his hands moving to gently grip her hips. "Mmm," she moaned softly, her body already eager for what was to come.

“Mmhm you gon let daddy make you squirt on this dick later huh?” Josh smirked while Dakota's breath caught in her throat as Josh smirked at her, his fingers slowly undoing her swimsuit top. Her eyes followed the fabric as it pooled at her feet, leaving her exposed and vulnerable under his gaze. As he leaned in, licking at her areola, she couldn't help but let out a soft moan.

The sexual tension was high and Joshua wanted to be the first to set anything off. He always wanted to be in demand and Dakota gracefully let him because he did it so smooth and gentle.

"Mhm, you don't even have to ask, baby," Dakota replied, a mischievous smile playing at the corners of her lips. With a confident smirk, Josh began to slowly undress her, revealing her generous curves and lush body. She shuddered under his gaze, his eyes trailing hungrily over every inch of her. "I'm all yours, do your worst,” she teased, biting her lower lip in anticipation.

Leaning in Dakota embraced him with a kiss which turned into a much more intimate kiss and intense one as they explored each others mouth. Tongue kissing with his hand sneaking towards her pussy to rub at it softly.

But before anything could go any further his phone rang which made Dakota stopped but he pulled her back in.

“Josh your phone is ringing.”

“So let it ring,” he said with a shrug as he pulled away from kissing her. Just as he did, his phone began to ring again, causing him to let out an exasperated huff.

“Josh just answer the phone it might be your mom.”

“Man it ain’t her she be sleep by 6.” The frustration in Jey's voice was palpable as he snatched up his phone. "Man, what?" he snapped into the phone, his annoyance radiating through the air. Dakota could see the tension in his body, his jaw clenched tight as he gritted out the words. She could feel the anger brewing inside him.

"Who is it, Jey?" she asked softly, grabbing her bra strap to cover her chest.

Jey sighed heavily, his annoyance turning to exhaustion. "It's Jimmy ," he muttered.

“Aye don’t be answering the phone because you was tryna get freaky and can’t!” Jimmy shouted loudly over the phone, as Dakota could hear him and burst into laughter.

“Uce what you want?” Jey asked already annoyed with his brother.

“I was calling to tell you to bring the drinks tomorrow for mom’s family get together and did you get the outfit ma got for Koko!”

“Fuck I forgot about that and yeah I got it she can fit it but that’s all you called to tell me about some damn drinks Jonathan?”

“Uhh yeah now get some rest and stop tryna get ya dick wet!”

As Jimmy opened his mouth to speak, Jey abruptly ended the call. Letting out a sigh, Jey leaned back in his chair, while Dakota looked down at him with a curious expression.

“What did he want?”

“To get some drinks first tomorrow.”

“Oh I almost forgot about your mother’s gathering she invited me too I’m so nervous.” Dakota expressed fidgeting with her hands.

Dakota was feeling incredibly anxious about meeting his mother. She was unsure whether she would approve of her, and she worried about making a good first impression. All she wanted was to excel in every situation, including meeting new people.

“Ko baby, you ain’t got nun to be nervous about she’s going to love just as much as I do. I mean my brothers like you so that’s plus.” Jey reassured her which made her feel a little at ease.

“I got you aight?” He gazed up at her with reassuring eyes, offering both comfort and a sense of security.

“Okay.” She sighed softly before getting up from the chair she walked towards the sliding doors to inside the house she dropped her bra down on the floor along with her bottoms. He naked silhouette in clear vision to him.

“I’m going to shower you coming?” She looked back at him slightly her breast sitting nicely with her freshly waxed pussy soaked.

“Hell yeah!” Joshua replied back jumping up before throwing her over his shoulder bridle style running into the stairs as Dakota giggled.

“Joshua put me down!”

NEXT MORNING

“That's it...you gon' take all this dick...you know it's yours." Jey coached on as he fucked Dakota in collapsed doggy. Grabbing at her hair he pushed her head down further as he went deeper her ass cheeks clapping against him.

“Jeyyyyy.” Dakota screamed into the sheets as he went harder each stroke his hand firm on her neck to hold him up as he fucked her harder.

Dakota layed on her stomach, his dick sliding deeply in and out of her pussy as her walks clenched around him. Milking every drop as he crushed her body.

“Un huh you a nasty ass slut huh mama?Tell Daddy how that dick feel, baby, talk to me,”

Dakota fingers scratched at the sheets her eyes brewing with tears as he pulled her head up to look into the mirror infront of them he watched as he smiled while devouring her hole, gold grills peeking through, his tattooed chest heaving up and down with sweat all over him.

The two had been going at it all morning staring from 7 to now 9 am, & Joshua had no attempt of letting up whatsoever. And Dakota loved she craved it.

Nobody could fuck her like he could.

“It feel so good daddy.” Dakota moaned out biting her bottom lip she felt herself clenching around him indicating she was about to come, she felt his dick twitch inside her indicating he also was close very close at that.

Jey bit his lips looking at Dakota’s ass and then to the mirror, hips automatically going sloppy looking at her fucked out face.

“you look so fuckin pretty Ko, just like that.” He breaths and starts pounding harder, slapping her ass.

“Fuck I love this pussy.”

“g-gonna cum!” She whimpered out against the sheets, line of spit from the white sheets to her lips.

“I know baby come on this fucking dick.” Loud clapping and sticky plap sounds were heard and soon, she was squealing and splashing sounds were heard too as she squirted over his dick and into the covers.

With a swift and graceful motion, Joshua flipped Dakota onto her back, pinning her wrists down beside her head. She moaned softly, her body arching beneath him as he leaned down, claiming her lips with his in a passionate kiss. Her legs wrapped around him, pulling him closer, as the heat between them ignited.

“Good morning baby.” Dakota breathed out with a small chuckle staring back up at Jey.

“Good morning beautiful, you good? I should’ve went to hard on you.” He said as he noticed how red her cheeks from her crying tears of pleasure.

“Baby it’s okay you know I like that.” Dakota said shyly.

"Don't matter, still should've gone harder," Joshua muttered, his brows furrowing as he reached for his boxers. Dakota stood up, her 5’3 “ frame coming up short compared to his 6’2 stature. She watched as Joshua slid his boxers up, his muscular physique flexing as he pulled them into place.

The melodious chirping of the birds filled the air, drifting in through the open window as the radiant sun ascended in the sky, casting its golden rays through the billowing curtains.

“I’m going to shower you coming?” Dakota asked before walking into the bathroom.

“Yeah come on.”

▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃

UceyJucey • Instagram story

Now that be how the story goes

Brown Sugar got me open now I want some more

Always down for a ménage à trois

But I think I'ma hit it solo, hope my niggas don't mind

Stick out my tongue and I'm 'bout ready to hit this gritty pretty bitty with my sisters

As D'Angelo's smooth vocals echoed through the room, Dakota was getting dressed looking into the mirror to make sure she looked okay.

“Ko you ready?” Joshua asked impatiently. He had been ready for the last hour, and she was still getting ready. They were already running late for their visit to his mother's house.

“Yes, baby how do I look?” Dakota turned around doing a 360 showing her off her dress which showcased her cleavage a bit at the top.

The couple were matching with his family traditional Samoa Tribal Māori shirt which went along with her dress and design.

“Baby you look beautiful I don’t why you keep stressing.” Jey answered getting up from the bed he wrapped his arms around Dakota staring into her eyes.

“You sure?”

“Yes I’m sure Ko, you the finest woman I know. Witcho fine ass.” Dakota's cheeks flushed with a faint red as Joshua showered her in affectionate compliments, her smile widening with each word. Feeling his lips on her neck, she let out a soft sigh, her eyes fluttering shut as she reveled in the moment.

“Now let’s gon and leave because if Jon call me one more time ima get mad.” Joshua chuckled grabbing Dakota hand leading them down the stairs towards the garage he opened the door for her letting her in first.

“Such a gentleman.” Dakota smiled as he closed the door and ran over to the other side and hopped in staring the car he pressed on the garage opener backing out.

His Mothers Home

“Finally y’all ass made it.” Jonathan shouted out as he walked outside his mother’s when Josh pulled into the drive way.

"Finally y’all ass made it," Jonathan shouted out, his frustration evident as he stepped out onto the stoop. Joshua pulled into the driveway, his gaze on the horizon and his expression weary. "Took you long enough," Jonathan added, a hint of amusement in his tone. Dakota leaned against Joshua, a faint smile playing on her lips. "We're here now," she said softly, feeling a sense of warmth in the familiarity of the moment.

With a roll of his eyes, Joshua stepped out of the car, his gaze meeting Jonathan's as he spoke. "Man, it ain't my fault Ko was taking all day," he said, his tone teasingly accusatory. Dakota gave a small giggle as she smoothed out her dress, feeling Joshua's familiar gaze on her. "What can I say? I'm a diva," she teased, her smile widening as she brushed a strand of hair behind her ear. Joshua's amused grin only widened at her words, his affection for her evident in his every glance.

“Aye don’t blame nun on my sis in law!”

As jey went to open the trunk to grab the drink Jonathan helped Dakota out the car closing the door. He could tell she was nervous by the look on her face and he laughed.

“You nervous?”

Dakota's voice trembled with worry as she turned to Jon. “I mean, what if she doesn't like me?” Her anxiety gripped her even tighter now that they were here.

“You sound just like trin when she met my mother 10 years ago she was nervous just like you and my mom liked the min she met her so you don’t have anything to worry about girl.” Jonathan comforted Dakota, drawing a parallel between her nervousness and that of Trin when she first met his mother a decade ago. He assured Dakota that she had nothing to worry about because his family was warm and welcoming, just like they were with Trin. His words were meant to reassure Dakota and alleviate her anxiety about meeting his family.

“Trust me she’ll like you.”

“Okay and thank you him seriously you kinda helped.” Dakota smiled softly at him.

“No problem sister in law now let’s go meet the fam!” He added wigh excitement.

“Aye man are you gon help me or just keep talking uce?!” Joshua shouted while struggling to carry the drinks to the door.

“For you to be the strongest twin you sure can’t hold shit give it to me.” Jimmy snatched the drinks from Jey walking towards the door he kicked it opened with his foot with Jey and Dakota trailing behind him.

The sound of the Maze band being played boosted throughout the home as Dakota fiddled with her fingers becoming anxious.

As Jey made his way inside, his mother's voice echoed through the house. "I figured that was you coming inside," she said, descending the stairs to greet him.

“Hey my baby.” She embraced him into a tight hug. He had been on the road so long she missed her son along with his other two brothers.

“Joshua is this the beautiful woman you’re always talking to me about?” She asked glancing over at Dakota as she stood next to him with his arm around her.

"Yeah, this is the Dakota I was telling you about," he said with a shy smile as he proudly introduced Dakota to his mother.

“It’s finally nice to meet you honey.”

“Same here Mrs.fatu.” Dakota smiled softly.

“Oh honey you don’t have to call me that just call me Lin.” She waved off embracing Dakota into a hug.

“Well come on in don’t be shy , Joshua you go help your cousins finish setting up the tables in the back and I’ll take her in the kitchen.”

“Yes ma’ma! Baby you gon be okay?” Josh asked Dakota to make sure she would be fine because he could tell she was still a little anxious.

“Boy she’ll be fine now gon on!” Lin waved him off as he put his hands in surrender walking away with a hug smile on his face.

"Boy, she'll be fine now, go on!” Lin insisted, waving him off with a smirk. "Alright alright I’m gone!” He flashed a playful smile as he strolled away, leaving Dakota and his mother alone in the hallway.

As they reached the kitchen, Joshua's mother greeted them warmly, her eyes twinkling with love, her voice soft as she spoke, "Come, dear, let me introduce you to the rest of the family." As Dakota followed her lead, she could feel the warmth and familiarity of family surrounding her, feeling a sense of belonging as she took in the scene.

Upon meeting the rest of his family, Dakota began to feel a sense of ease. Their warm welcome and genuine affection made her feel like she truly belonged, particularly with his mother, who seemed to take great delight in Dakota's presence.

As the sun dipped toward the horizon, casting a warm glow, the time was approaching 7 pm and the party was still going strong, with a few people starting to head home. The rest of the family was engrossed in a lively game of spades, enjoying drinks, while the women engaged in animated conversations.

Feeling arms around her Dakota felt a kiss on her cheek and the smell of Jeys cologne. “You good ko.”

With a faint blush on her cheeks, Dakota felt a sense of warmth and affection as Joshua pulled her into a tight embrace. Her eyes fluttered shut momentarily as she felt his lips brush against her cheek, the familiar scent of his cologne washing over her. Wrapping her arms around his waist, she cuddled into his chest, feeling a surge of love and comfort that only he could provide. "Mhm," she murmured softly, her voice muffled against his chest as she leaned into his embrace. "I'm good as long as you're by my side."

“Good cause I’m gon be here forever.” He replied meaning every word.

“Today was so fun they were actually so lovely babe you were right.”

“Told you they’ll like you.” Joshua smiled the two watching as the sun continued to rise down.

“Ima go help my ma with the dishes I’ll be back.” Jey kissed her cheek before running off back into the house leaving Dakota in the backyard.

While Dakota stood and continued to watch the sun she felt a presence behind her and turned around being met with someone she felt familiar with.

“Dakota?”

Dakota was surprised to see who was approaching. "Joe?" she exclaimed. "I can't believe it! It's been at least two years since I last saw you!

“Same here.” He walked towards her even closer closing the gap in between them he looked over not believing how good she looked. “You look good as always.”

“Well thank you! You don’t look to bad yourself might I add, What brings you here!” She asked.

“This is my aunt families get together.”

“Wait Jey’s your cousin?”

Nodding his head yes he laughed at how confused Dakota face was. “He didn’t tell you huh?”

“No not at all!”

Dakota was shocked to say the least she never knew they were cousins I mean Joe had never mentioned them when he used to date her cousin Deandre two years ago and he met their family.

Now here she was just now finding out.

"What a small world, huh?" She mused. She tilted her head up, a mischievous glint in her eyes as she met his gaze. “Yeah a real small world," joe teased, a giggle escaping from her lips.

Before anyone could gather another word out Joshua watched closely from inside the house jealously glinting inside him.

He watched as Dakota and his cousin Joe formally known as Roman reigns conversed outside.

He had three reasons for not allowing Dakota to meet Roman. He was familiar with his cousin and his behavior. Since they were children, Roman had always pursued anything Joshua was interested in. It seemed like Roman was currently interested in Dakota, and Joshua was going to be dammed if he let that happen.

“Aye uce what you staring at so hard.” Jimmy asked unaware of what was going on till he looked towards where Josh was staring at he sighed.

“Aw shit.” He sighed shaking his head as his brother walked outside already knowing this wasn’t going to end well.

“Yes she’s doing great ac— before Dakota could finish her sentence Jey came out wrapping his arms around her interrupting their conversation.

Roman's cheerful expression faltered for a moment as he met Jey's gaze, taking in his expression of irritation. But the smile quickly returned, if not a bit more forced this time, as he spoke. "Oh wassup uce, I was just looking for you.” he greeted, his tone light despite the tension in the air. Jey narrowed his eyes, his tone tinged with an edge of annoyance as he responded, "What?" Roman took a deep breath, his smile widening as he looked back at his cousin, undeterred by Jey's frustration.

“Oh were you? Cause it fucking look like you all my woman’s face Joe. So tell me what else you looking for?” A wave of anger rushed through Joshua as he registered Roman's words. He stepped forward, pushing Dakota behind him in a protective gesture as his eyes flared with irritation. "Huh what was it?” he asked, his voice low and dangerous as he locked eyes with Roman. His fists clenched at his sides, and Dakota's hand instinctively reached out to rest on his arm, trying to soothe him.

Dakota intervened, saying, "Okay okay, that’s enough Joshua, stop." She stepped in between the two, gently pushing Josh towards the house and welcoming him inside. They walked together towards the door.

Stoping in her tracks Dakota turned around to face Joshua to his face. “Joshua wtf is wrong with you!”

“What’s wrong with me? Nah more like fuck wrong with him ko you don’t know him like I do.”

“And what is that supposed to mean.”

“It means he tryna fuck on you ko! He does that shit Everytime I bring someone around him.”

“Oh so you bring other girls around huh?” She stoped back crossing her arms over her shoulders glaring back at him.

“Dakota that’s not what I meant.” Jey’s voice softened as he attempted to grab Dakota but she pushed him away.

“No that she exactly wtf you meant Joshua!” She shouted bringing attention to the few people in the house as they stared to advert their attention on them.

Jonathan heard the two inside arguing he made his way inside the house to calm the situation as best as possible.”aye wth going on now?”

“Your brother is being a complete jealous bitch right now.” Dakota snapped.

“Oh so ima a bitch? Man fuck you Dakota real shit uce.” Jey threw back at her before Jon got in between them.

“Aye aye y’all cut this shit out!”

“No because he’s jealous and acting an ass for no reason all because I talked to Joe.”

As Jonathan stood there, it suddenly struck him like a bolt of lightning. In that moment, he finally understood the source of their argument. It appeared that conflicts like this would persist as long as Josh continued to bring anyone into Roman's presence.

“Nah I just know he wanna fuck you Dakota why ca—.” Before Joshua could finish anything he felt his phone going off with notifications from Instagram, iMessage and twitter.

He grabbed his phone out his pocket putting in the code he went to Instagram to see he was tagged in a post.

He felt his heart dropped like someone had stabbed him. He couldn’t believe what he was seeing most of all what Dakota would say when she saw it.

“What? What is it.” Dakota asking before snatching the phone from Joshua she read the post.

Then that’s when everything became a blur to her as she felt her heart drop a million miles she couldn’t feel her fingers as she dropped the phone on the floor.

Dakota could feel her heart plummet, the world around her fading into a blur. Her body tensed as if preparing for impact, and time seemed to slow down to a crawl. With a faint tremble in her fingers, she lost her grip on the phone, watching helplessly as it slipped from her grasp and clattered onto the floor. She was paralyzed in place, unable to move or speak, the weight of the situation suffocating her. It was as if everything around her was fading away, leaving her alone with her thoughts and Joshua's fierce gaze.

TheSahdeRoom

Oop! Roomies Professional WWE wrestler Jey uso and mistress girlfriend Dakota has been seen out and also Nudes plastered all over the internet of now! What do we think? 👀 #roomies #TheShadeRoom.

Comments

@Living for my kids__001 : this just a damn mess she should’ve knew better than to send her nudes.

@Keisha_thebomb: no shade this her damn fault.

Jeyuceysfacepaint : Omg not my man!

@Theusostagtitles: oh he fucked up omg Joshua.

—————————————————————————————

“Ko, baby I swear I di— YOU FUCKING LIAR!” Dakota shouted out at him with tears streaming down her face with rage.

“Y-you told me you would never post my fucking nudes Joshua!”

As Dakota stood with teary eyes, Joshua's voice rang out, filled with desperation. "Dakota, I swear, I ain't post that shit." he insisted, his tone tinged with anger. She turned to face him, her trembling body a palpable reflection of her inner turmoil.

Dakota's tear-streaked face twisted in anguish as she whispered, "I trusted you." Joshua stood before her in silence, his heart heavy with regret. He took a hesitant step toward her, wanting to offer comfort, but before he could speak, she lashed out and slapped him hard across the face.

“I fucking hate you! I swear I do Joshua.”

"Ko, you don't mean that," Jey denied her claims, fully aware that deep down she didn't mean what she said.

As tears streamed down Dakota's face, her words spilled out in a heated eruption. "No I do I fucking hate you I can’t you did that shit.” she seethed, her expression filled with anger and hurt. "I hate you with all my damn heart!" she hurled at him, her emotions teetering on the edge. Jey tried to follow her, his movements halted by Jimmy's firm grip, his face contorting with frustration. "Just let her go uce.” Jimmy urged, his voice calm and steady as he held Jey back. "She needs time to process what she's feeling."

Just like that in seconds everything was gone.

The one thing he valued the most gone in an instant.

To be continued…..

Hey my baby dolls! So I know this chapter was long and I’m sorry I know some reader may not like long chapters so I apologize.

But I know y’all mad at how I ended things I knowwww but next chapter is a little better I promise!

Like always stay blessed and thank you for tuning in! Niyah out 🎀

[teenitrash]

A few random things I want to talk about regarding Alien Stage bc the brainrot is real

1. The fact that they still let Till win even after he KILLED one of their brethren. His opponent must've been like somewhat bad to lose bc he literally smashed his alien guitar, not only killing an alien (his master idk???) but also showing incredible defiance which is something the aliens don't like??

2. The difference between Till's attitude in Round 6 compared to Round 7... GRANT ME THE SERENITY BC I CANT. In Round 6, Till was depressed and sad and emo and not rebellious AT ALL, which is so out of character for him. He was willing to die simply bc he didn't know if Mizi was dead or alive. BUT in Round 7, he was back to being lively and rebellious again, regardless of his struggle with his memories of Ivan. He still sang to the best of his ability and tried resisting Luka's manipulation.

My guess is that for Mizi, he found no point in living bc of his shallow love for her (this is just my opinion but according to canon, he loved her for her smile and kindness but didn't actually know her well) but with Ivan, he saw how Ivan died for him and didn't want this to be in vain (it kind of was in the end but we don't talk about that 😭) I just thought the difference in Till's attitude during the Rounds with regards to the different loved ones in his life was so distinct and important in some way

3. The way Ivan died for Till. I won't get over it, but it was so tragically beautiful and it makes me cry every time /j. The kiss, first of all AKSNSKAMSL like obviously it was non-consensual but like??? They are humans in an alien world and they know nothing of real love, so I don't think it's that big of a deal.

And secondly, Ivan acted like this on purpose for two reasons. One being that he wanted Till to win and survive and two, he knew that this would be HIS last moments so he wanted to spend it kissing the one he loved. But he could've stopped there couldn't he?? He could've just kissed him and left it at that after he saw the scoreboard BUT NO he fake strangled Till as well bc he wanted to be 100% sure that Till would be safe and alive so he acted violent to ensure his own death.

Bc he could've also stopped "choking" Till after the scores were final BUT he only let go of Till when blood came out his mouth, a for-sure indication that he was the one that was going to die. Even tho it was clear that Till won, Ivan didn't want the system to screw them over and held on until he was too weak to stand before letting go and dying. LIKE??? IDK IF I EXPLAINED THAT PROPERLY BUT I JUST THOUGHT IT WAS A SAD DETAIL. Bc you can see how Ivan's eyes visibly softened after he coughed blood, after he knew that he was going to die, after he knew Till's survival was ensured.

Thank you for coming to my Ted talk 😔 if I got anything wrong or if you'd like to add something feel free to say something. This is just me screaming about Alien Stage bc wtf was that last Round. Blink Gone is a bop but at what cost?? 😭😭

[yuriisclumsy]

HELLO !! I SEE THAT YOU WRITE FOR CALE HENITUSE :d you've got good taste that man makes me feral i love that unbelievable idiot :D

Whadoyyathink about Cale being with someone who's weaker than him but she's kinda useful (one of pookie's powers is to boost someone's abilities, it generally doesn't matter if the one she's aiding doesn't have magical powers, they just have to be good at something like for example, painting and swordsmanship—she can enhance their ability and knowledge temporarily).

She's a mage that's dying the more she exploits her mana. She tried to not use too much, but in a reality where she and everyone suddenly got thrusted into war? She couldn't help but use, use, use.

None of em knew her degrading lifespan until one day she just told em casually when the gang asks wtf is wrong w u why do you look like u r boutta die and why do you keep passing out sometimes

If this is too much feel free to ignore, though thank you for reading :D

Will you stay by my side forever?

𝚆𝚘𝚛𝚍 𝙲𝚘𝚞𝚗𝚝: 1,443

[Authors Note]: This thing took me so long to make because I couldn't figure out what setting to write it on. Besides getting a bit tired of only writing for Cale back when I was consistent with the requests. But, hi! I'm back! At least just for this one. This request is back from May 💀. I still have two more, one from June, the other from July. So I might come back and do those. Do people want a part 4 for Love's Dance?

»»►Ouuu, what a fun scenario.

»»►Apologies in advance if it’s a bit weird, haven’t read or written for Cale in a while, so I might have lost my touch.

»»►Warning (I never really do these, but I thought it would be appropriate): could be inaccurate to the Henituse War Arc because I have yet to read it.

»»►Also, the POV is different on this one.

Dragons.

Powerful beings, capable of destroying us all if they wanted to.

One thing they weren’t meant for was to let humans ride them and control them like animals. They had far greater intelligence than any being in existence. 

So why should they submit to us?

The skies are filled with erratic bat-winged lizards; their flames and roars were scattered all over the field.

This was a war.

Dragons…What pesky creatures. I already have one to deal with, I don’t need more.

“Choi Han!”

“Yes, Master Cale?” said man came within seconds and kneeled in front of him.

“I need you to scout out the area in the east for me,” I commanded.

“On it,” and with that, he left as fast as he came.

I already know how all of this will pan out, but a little safety never hurt no one…

“Master Cale!”

“Hmm?” I turned to see one of the city guards running in a hurry towards me. “What is it? Why are you in such a hurry?”

“I-it’s lady [Name]! S-hes…” the guard gasped for air from the run.

“Easy, calm down… Now tell me, what’s wrong with [Name]?” I patted him in the back.

Recuperating the lost oxygen, the guard went serious and looked at me. “Lady [Name] has lost a great deal of blood and fainted..! S-she just started to cough and— M-master Cale–? Where are you going?!” The Guard shouted at me, but all noise was shut down by my mind.

That instinct to check on those you care about kicked in the moment I heard the word blood being uttered.

I ran.

Ran, and ran, until I was able to see the camp where she had been stationed at by me. A camp far from the battlefield, but close enough for me to constantly check-up on her.

How could a thing like this happen to me? I had just checked on you a few hours ago, so why? Why are you suddenly bleeding?

The men there stood aside as I ran past them. They understood not to be on my way with the expression I wore on my face.

“Where is she?!” I yelled to the men crowding a tent. I already knew my answer when they looked at me  and then at the inside with sad expressions.

I burst in and scanned the area to look for the woman I ran miles to see. I paused. There, on a bed on the far corner of the shelter, was her. [Name]. Medics surrounded her with yet more sad faces.

I walked slowly towards them, not wanting to know if what I had in my mind were to be true. “Is she alright?” I asked when I was a mere few feet away from the bed.

The head doctor looked at me with furrowed brows and sighed. He then gave me a smile when he saw my eyes, filled with worry.

“She is fine,” he said. I let the breath I didn’t know I was holding. “But she has lost a great deal of blood. I need her to stay in bed for a few days, and another more of pure rest until I see her health back up again.”

“I see… Thank you.”

“No need, it’s my job,” the doctor looked at the other two, who I believe to be his apprentices, and gestured to them to exit with him. “I’ll leave you alone with her,” he patted my shoulder as he left.

I stood there for a bit, before I went and sat on the bed right next to hers. I stared at her face; the face that made my heart jump from excitement wherever I saw a smile; the face that l would look at and made me feel better instantly; the face that made me fall deeply in love with her.

“...Cale?” a voice rang in my ears which made me snap out of my trance. My eyes meet with hers.

“[Name]...you’re awake,” I let out simply. She smiled at me, relieving me from the aching I had in my heart moments prior. “Are you feeling better?”

She nodded. Her eyes were filled with a love I can’t put in words, stared at mine. “I’m… I’m sorry,” she said sadly.

My eyebrows knitted in confusion. “What are you sorry for? None of this is your fault.”

“...” she stayed silent. She turned her head to the other side, blocking my view of her expression. I knew this move of her’s. She did this whenever she was hiding something. And then I realized something. I hadn’t asked what the cause of the blood was.

“[Name]...” I called to her, “..this wasn’t your fault…was it?”

“...I’m sorry,” she apologized and let out a low sob. “I didn’t want for any of you to find out this way….”

I was in disbelief. What possibly could she have done to cause such blood loss other than a stab wound…had she...?

“[Name], tell me… You didn’t cut yourself, have you?”

She quickly looked at me, “no, of course not, I would never do something as bad as hurting myself!” She reassured me.

That’s good…but that doesn’t answer how she had lost a lot of blood.

“Then…why were you bleeding?”

“...That’s..a long story.”

“I have all day,” I crossed my legs and rested my head on the palm of my hand.

“...”

“...”

She sighted thinking I would give up on the subject, but I’m far too stubborn to give up. “I lost a lot of blood because…”

“Because…?”

“Because of my ability…” she finally said.

“Your ability..? The ability to enhance abilities?” I asked in thought.

“Yes.”

“How exactly does your ability work then?”

“Well, you know that I can upgrade someone's abilities, yes?” I nod, and she continues, “but what I didn’t tell you was the toll it comes with.”

“Toll? Wait, have you been hurting yourself while using your ability?” I accuse her.

“No! Well…yeah, but exactly how you think…” that wasn't very convincing. “Whenever I use my power, it takes energy from my body. The more I use it, the weaker I get.”

“...”

“Please don’t be mad at me…” she pleaded with puppy eyes.

“...I’m not mad.”

“I feel like you are.”

“Well, I’m not,” I straightened my back, “but I will have you permanently stop using that power of yours.”

“What!?” She sat up at lighting speed, and groaned out of pain.

“Don’t sit up so quickly,” I got up and held her back.

“Y-you can’t just…prohibit me from using my power! How else would I be useful to you? How would I earn money!?”

I didn’t say anything. Then an idea came to mind. My ears were burning at the thought.

Taking courage, I swallowed the lump that had formed in my throat at the word I was about to say.

“...I’m firing you,” I said.

“...Huh?” She looked heartbroken. Oh, how I can’t see you like that. “no…No, no. Please, let me work for you. Please, Cale!” She grabbed my arms in an attempt to make me rethink my decision.

“No, my choice is final,” she was at the brink of crying. “Instead… I want you to stay by my side.”

“What..do you mean?” Her eyes gawk at me with tear drops threatening to spill out.

“Let me rephrase myself so you can understand,” I cleared my throat, “I would like for you to be mine.”

We stared into each others eyes. She shed a tear from before, but not out of frustration, or grief of a lost job, but out of love and affection. She chuckled.

“Is this your way of courting me?”

“Is it bad?”

“No! No, it’s…interesting,” she lowered her head to laugh at my proposal.

“So?” I placed my index finger under her shin and tilted her head to look at me. “Are you going to accept?”

“Hahaha… Yes. I accept,” she gave me the happiest smile I had seen from her.

And in that moment, I knew I was the happiest man alive.

Fin

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Master-List

[askdiscordwhooves]

Ask Discord Whooves has come to its conclusion, and that means the posts below this point contain major spoilers for the story! This post will also have the author's final comments below a 'read more' to avoid spoilers. In this commentary, I will talk about new details about the story, such as what the future looks like in this universe and clearing up some lore.

If you wish to read from the beginning, you can start from the first page here!

Or, if you were in the middle of reading and wish to start where you left off, go to the table of contents here!

Also for consideration, you can read the prequel blog @lovestruck-derpy and the side blog @askthetimemaster to get more insight on the story. It is recommended you read Lovestruck Derpy first, then Ask The Time Master after you've read Discord Whooves.

Other side blogs involved in the story that can be read after everything else for a little more insight are as follows:

@tantamount-time-turner @torchwoodv @valtavia

Thank you for being interested in the story, I hope you enjoy your read!

!!AUTHOR FINAL COMMENTS BELOW!!

It would be appreciated if people who have read the blog to its end read this post and give their input on the overall story via comment or reblog, or sending the author @jitterbugjive a comment via ask or submission.

Surprise, everyone! Coach is The Doctor's next life!

This was the original plan from the very start of when I made Coach. Look, here's some proof, the plush I had commissioned of him has a cutie mark!

For those who don't know who (Pony) Coach is, you can read a bunch of asks sent to him here and get to know him, and for those who do know him you can re-read with context:

[Coach at The-Character-Lounge]

Now, I know I've moved on and made Coach a human and his own character for my current main project, My Magic Grandpa, but that was because I loved him as a character so much that I couldn't just end him after Discord Whooves.

He and his Granddaughter Suzie have paranormal fantasy adventures in the 90s starting in Oregon. You can read the comic which has been updating for 4 years here: http://www.mymagicgrandpa.com OR http://www.mymagicgrandpa.net for better phone viewing.

If you want more Doctor Whooves content from me, consider following the youtube series "Doctor Whooves and Assistant", where I am the head writer and voice actor for Derpy. It is still active and hopefully will be for quite some time.

I also want people to know about three more of my original projects,”Bedeviled Dotty” ( @bedeviled-dotty), “Once Upon a Calamity” ( @nightmaretales) and “WTF? I’m a Magical Girl’s Familiar?!” (@magicalgirlsfamiliar) Two of which I want to start updating in 2024 and one that's been updating for a few years now.

OUAC has been around for a very long time, it’s a collection of familiar but twisted fairy tales and it has been on hiatus for years because of my other projects taking priority. I'm excited to be bringing it back.

WTF?MGF meanwhile is an adult dark comedy magical girl comic combined with an apocalyptic outbreak scenario. Its pilot will launch in January of 2024 and the comic will begin properly in 2025.

“Bedeviled Dotty” has been going for a few years now, and is a story about a magical anthro rabbit who makes a deal with a kitsune in order to obtain the love of her professor.

I highly encourage people to check them out!

Now about The Doctor version of Coach! When he first regenerated, he was ecstatic to have a small nose!

Not only that but he had a new appreciation for life and took on a life to the fullest attitude. He also cast away the identity of 'The Doctor', letting himself become his own as 'Coach' because he considers himself a referee to the universe and a sort of life coach to whoever he encounters. (Those that can stand him of course) He loves interacting with others, but he can be impatient and snippy at times and quite pushy without meaning to. He also has a hard time reading others' emotions, and can only think in context of how he would feel. This is because in this life he has something akin to ASD that he's unaware of, and it's a huge challenge for him because of how much he wants to help and entertain others.

He likes to use sports words and phrases in his vocabulary, which would be his quirk. He also collects sports equipment and uses them for experiments and inventions, though he doesn't really like sports themselves.

One of the last things Derpy said to him before she died was that she had no regrets, and neither should he. So in his next life, as Coach, he took this very seriously and is always moving forward with no regrets. This can make him seem heartless at times because of how easily he leaves things behind, but he always needs to be on the move and needs to change things up because he's teaming with chaos magic.

That's right, the chaos energy stayed with him, but it manifested in a more controllable form because he became a unicorn. He can't use normal unicorn spells, a lot of his magic has a mind of its own. It will often do as asked, but it will do it in random ways. 'Open a locked door' for example could mean unlocking the door, or turning the door into popcorn. One of his first magic mishaps was transmogrifying his sonic screwdriver into a golf club. It still functions the same, just has a different shape now.

Coach spent about 60 years exploring on his own and taking on temporary companions that he'd keep a distance from so chances of anything bad happening to them would be less. But he eventually longs to see his Grandaughter, Tootsie Flute, and wants to take her on adventures with him, feeling like it would be a good do-over from the old Doctor's life. He fondly calls her Suzie because of reminiscing about the memories of Susan from the 1st Doctor days. While Suzie is often exasperated with him, she is also fascinated with him and the things he shows her. She has to keep their adventures a secret though, because Coach is scared to face his old family again and disappoint them. He doesn't want to see them without being able to understand them any more, it would break his hearts.

In order to take Suzie on adventures with him, they find a rogue changeling to replace her at home.

Speaking of changelings, he keeps in contact with [Tantamount Doctor], who has since started his own hive and is now a Royal. He gets much adored offerings of cheese from Coach.

The Doctor also never really felt like there was a right time to approach The Master’s daughter, Eighth Note. He kept feeling like it would ruin her otherwise good life to introduce her to time and space like that. She grew up to be a nurse in a maternity ward, her beautiful voice soothing babies as she would sing to them. Perhaps she has a little hypnotic influence from her father?

But Coach meanwhile with his no regrets attitude charged right in to take her on as a temporary companion to show her the ropes of being a Time Lord and having a TARDIS of her own. Needless to say, she’s trouble for Coach, as she can be a huge tease and she enjoys flustering the poor guy who just doesn’t want the Master to come back from the grave to kill him. It’s all in good fun for her and never serious, though, so nothing of an intimate nature really happens between them.

Finally, whenever Coach regenerated which wouldn't be for a long time, it would be because the chaos magic would become too unstable and the only way he can stay alive is to regenerate into a draconequus. Which gives us -drumroll-

Pandemonium!

Pandemonium is on the chaotic good alignment and he finds a way to bring back Gallopfrey and allow the true pony Doctor and Master to exist. He playfully antagonizes them and tries to keep them on a good path as best he can.

And that's pretty much how the whole thing ends!

When I started Discord Whooves, I was in a pretty dark place. I was bitter, angry, feeling like I had to fill peoples' expectations without really having anything special of my own. Discord Whooves started as a vent blog because A. The Brony fandom's constant pressure on me as a well known voice actor for Derpy, which made me bitter about her, B. Because I was upset I was getting known more for my voice than my main talent, drawing, on top of feeling dysphoric about my feminine voice, and C. The expectations that were on me reflected on how I acted, and I wanted to do something dark without my old name attached to it to prove I could do something interesting besides PG rated radio plays. I gained a lot more popularity than I thought I ever would, and had so much support, and as JitterbugJive I got to be myself without any expectations. It helped me come out eventually not only as BaldDumboRat, but as a transgender male.

Popularity sadly got to my head, it caused a lot of stress and a lot of outbursts and when I started my mod blog I was a very calm person who brushed things off. But more and more people started to pick fights with me and I felt the need to defend myself. This was also during a time I made another vent blog that was for dealing with the abuse I'd been through in the past, so I was facing a lot of demons at the time and could be triggered easily.

And then I had my bi-polar manic episode that made me literally insane for months, which threw me in to a year long depression that destroyed my art for a good while (It looked really really awful during that time, a lot of people noticed it) but the good thing about it was that it got me in touch with a therapist and got me diagnosed not only bi-polar 1 but PTSD, which was a shock to me but it made a lot of sense. I got a PTSD service dog, anxiety medication, bi-polar medication, and while the year of depression sucked I slowly got to pull myself back together and reflect on who I'd been. With anxiety meds I wasn't getting as angry any more, and therapy was helping me properly cope with the past and with the popularity issues. I wanted to be a better person, and I became one.

I even decided to take on a career path where I could help other people like me and like Discord Doctor, becoming a peer wellness specialist to help those experiencing mental illness and addiction. I use my own experiences to connect with them, give them hope, and show them they are not alone and there are people who do understand what they're going through who will help them. The training I went through ended up changing a lot of aspects of how Discord Whooves was treated moving forward, giving him a more realistic journey and showing people a very true message of hope and recovery. And the only reason I'm where I am now is because of experiencing that first psychotic episode that made me reach out for help.

I had two psychotic episodes in the span of Discord Whooves’ run, and they gave me a first hand experience of what it’s like to completely lose control of your own actions. I hurt people, I caused a lot of damage, and I had to face the consequences of those actions. And because of this, I had personal knowledge of what it’s like to come out of such a horrible state, and all the guilt and fear that comes with it. The Doctor’s journey suddenly became so much more personal to me, because I’d been there. And his journey of recovery is to show that despite everything, there’s still hope. Recovery is possible.

Something else my mania did was lead me to the idea of My Magic Grandpa, because my head came up with so many crazy ideas that I wanted to use and I was looking for a lot of inspiration during my depression that it all started coming together. And thus Coach and Suzie evolved into humans in their own story, because I didn't entirely want Discord Whooves to end where Coach and Suzie only just begins. And now they can continue on in their own way, in my own way, and I can let go of a blog about depression and anger and instead make a story about growth and inspiration.

In a way, it's like I regenerated with The Doctor, and I hope people can appreciate that and continue to support me.

I want to thank all the people who have worked with me on this project, be it for crossover, to contribute guest art, to Warden and Lauren and a handful of other people who helped me write the story and brought fantastic characters into it. I couldn’t have gotten this far without you, and the story would be in a much worse place now if it weren’t for everyone’s help.

Thank you all for staying with me on this 12 year journey. Looking back, I've made some dumb mistakes, but I learned a lot from them and your dedication helped me stick to my guns and end my first large scale project! It hit some bumps but dammit I made it happen and I am so happy I did! Now I hope people will check out my other projects that were linked above. I will still produce pony content on @the-character-lounge on occasion when I have the time and motivation.

I want to continue to bring everyone compelling stories that will tug at their emotions, and I don't plan on disappearing. So if you want to continue this journey with me, to see what Coach and Suzie have evolved into, please give my other works a follow!

Thank you, everyone! Your comments on this post in particular would be greatly appreciated! What did you think of the story as a whole? What do you think of Coach being the Doctor’s new life? Are there things you were expecting or wished would be different? How would you have ended the story? Did you enjoy the finale? Did you have a theory that Coach was The Doctor? Who was your favorite character? Favorite moment? Least favorite moment? I want to know! Please talk about it!

[fangirlingpuggle]

Very dumb Xiaolin Showdown AU/fic prompt where Dashi, comes back.

A new Wu reveals itself and everyone searches for it and when they activate it suddenly Dashi just appears falling over and dropping a can of soda like 'yeah that didn't go to plan may have fucked up there.... hey Dojo I got the soda' just Dashi tried experiment with Wu and fucked up and got trapped until it reactivated and then is just there chilling.

Guan shows up and is so happy his friend is alive but also... he knows Dashi.

When the next showdown happens Wuya is there and Guan is just paling like 'oh fuck' mostly everyone is confused like yeah she's Dashi's nemesis 'why are you worried with beat Wuya loads and she doesn't have all her powers it'll be fine right?' Guan just gives a pained look no idea how to explain....that.

The 2 start a showdown just them and it's banter and then Wuya getting upset 'I THOUGHT YOU WERE DEAD YOU BASTARD' and things start to get weird... Jack and the dragons are looking between each other like WTF...Dojo is paling as repressed memories are coming back and Chase basically teleports next to Omi covering his eyes just before Wuya and Dashi start making out.

Jack and the dragons jaws are on the ground other than Omi who has no idea what's happening because Chase is not letting his apprentice have to deal with this than you very much.

Somewhere in the distance they can hear Hannibal's cry of 'KNEW IT' Guan is signing in defeat 'Everyone knew it this isn't a surprise'. Then they realize it's not stopping. '...Dojo make the showdown stop..Dojo... DOJO'

That's the start of it slowly everyone realizes Dashi is not just a grand master dragon... he's is a fucking chaos gremlin who puts the world in danger as much as he saves it, it's no wonder he's so good at saving the world since he's always doing it cleaning up his own messes.

The whole hiding the wu they realize is less Dashi's decision and more everyone else's decision of making him put his objects of chaos out of reach, just putting his toys on the top shelf to stop him blowing up reality for 5 minutes.

All the other older monks at the temple decide to go on a long pilgrimages away form the temple and Dashi, and instead there's just Wuya chilling there they think she's moved in... no one wants to ask because that raises more questions... no one wants them answered.

Dashi's chaos is back in full swing and the next 'Ooops kick started end of the world event Chase shows up scoops up Omi like 'Not making him clean up Dashi's mess he's here he can do it himself taking my kid-I MEAN APPRENTICE home til Dashi has unfucked the universe' Fung wants to argue for a moment before taking a look at Dashi running into the vault yelling 'IT'S OK I CAN FIX THIS' while Wuya can't stop laughing and decides all the dragons can have a week or 2 at home... they've earned it.

Also as Wuya and Dashi have stopped any subterfuge and subtly and the whole good vs evil has now become more everyone vs Dashi's chaos Chase throws subtly out the window and is there with Omi like 'This is my son if anything happens to him I will destroy the world in a way not even Dashi's most powerful toys can fix'

Dashui: I TAKE THAT AS A CHALLENGE BRING IT ON CHASE

Guan:DASHI NO!

Which leads to Chase being around the temple more or taking Omi back to his palace because 'He is not a signing a permission slip for Omi to be involved in Dashi's latest shitshow' even though Omi is totally ready to jump into the portal to oblivion Dashi made to save the world'.

However, he sometimes gets sucked into saving the world (mix of Dasshi and Wuya teasing and Omi puppydog eyes)...as does Wuya because of reasons she will not say but her and Dashi are smirking at each other so no one is asking, they do NOT want to know. Which leads to them seeing the old dragons of their elements kicking ass and leads to all of the dragons starry eyed and demanding/pleading to know more moves and teach me how you did that please!!

Kimiko is borderline threatening Guan to teach her to make fire weapons like he did, Raimundo is near begging Dashi for the mountain cutting wind slash ability he used and flight ability, Omi is already being taught by Chase. Clay is trying to figure out how to get Wuya to teahc him some earth abilities.

Clay: Why did mine have to be an evil varmint

Dojo: I mean Omi's is too

Clay:...

Clay: That's is his pa Dojo

Dashi when not being a chaos gremlin is teasing all his friends, especially Guan and Chase because all this time and you 2 still aren't together .

Guan: Dashi he has tried to kill be many times

Dashi:...yeah...and?

Guan:....

Guan:I realized who I was speaking to after I said it

He also teases Guan about being a deadbeat dad and not spending time with Chase and his son, Guan is trying very hard to set his friend on fire.

Dashi has got Omi involved and Omi is so excited to have both his heroes spending time with him and neither can say no to him. Dashi and Wuya are watching all this giggling with popcorn.

Dojo: How mcuh of this is you wanting to help them and how much is just for your amusement

Dashi:... like 60, 40 split...which way i'm not to sure though.

Bonus: it is collectively agreed by everyone that Jack and Dashi can not spend time together Jack once asked about how the shen gong wu were made and about mechs and kaiju and everyone all has to drag them apart after they started talking... no one is allowed to give Dashi anymore ideas.

[rrking]

Dances to Bauhaus Ascended Astarion picking up a couple of other 'brides' along the way has been living rent free in my head... Some NSFW my slimes😏 also I made up a LOT of shit I don't know my DnD m'kay

Imagine it, you are his consort, his undying love, his... Most treasured property. But you're becoming a little unruly for his tastes.

So long being with the same man whose mind is turning to ash before you has proven to be difficult. Your relationship is toxic. It's like he doesn't remember who you are. You're just 'his consort.'

Of course, you become defiant. Small things at first, like denying him kisses, refusing to sit on his lap in front of his court...

This dynamic is cute at first. He spends time chasing you.

It works for a while. Vampire brides are known to be tossed aside by their masters, eventually - Due to their insatiable, nymphomatic lust and utter devotion to the point of irritation. Basically, many are discarded by their masters when they are no longer 'fun' to deal with. I fully made this up lmao wtf... Astarion promised this wouldn't be so between the pair of you when you allowed him to turn you. How time changes a person.

His arrogant behaviour becomes so repulsive, you start declining his more serious advances - to prove a point. He wants to control you fully - But that isn't going to happen. He would not dare discard you, not the person who was by his side all these years. There is a level of obedience you are willing to show, since you are so devoted to him, but you will not be controlled like a porcelain dolly.

You're so old now you often forget what you're fighting about... Until he comes home one day with that THING. It's younger than you. So obedient, like a little lapdog. He demands their kisses all day, in front of you. This creature disgusts you and he is only doing himself absolutely dirty.

"Yes milord. No milord. Of course, milord." It's incessant whining for your husband whilst he fawns over it as it rests on it's knees makes your skin crawl.

This dynamic starts off as a bit of a competition, but once he recruits another one - it's on sight.

"Be more like your sister(s)/brother(s)..." Astarion tells you with that wicked smirk. They are no sibling of yours. They are your prey, and he can look forward to waking up to a severed head on his silken bed if he dares to take things further.

It is actually a long time before any sort of sexual intimacy is even introduced. But after being denied your body three nights and four mornings in a row, Astarion is fed up. The horny howling of that brat makes you seethe. He already ruined you for anybody else. How dare he go and besmirch another when you were already his to begin with.

This is only a temporary fix, however, since you are his favourite. The sex is nowhere near as good or as passionate as it is with you. He can't achieve absolute bliss like he does with you, and this new toy is fun until it wants cuddles... No. That's reserved specifically for the consort™️

He is not actually satisfied. He loves you, whether he cares to admit it or not. Unfortunately, the way your relationship appears is totally skewed, due to his inability to separate obsession from love and the total resentment you have grown into.

These other brides are merely toys. He will eventually grow tired of them. They serve one purpose. You do not. You are his dark consort. You get away with things they could only dream of.

When you do agree to sleep with him again, on your terms of course, you are sure to be as public as possible. You want the entire palace to know how you make him feel. Only you get those delicious moans out of him, his complete spend, his dangerous cravings for more. Best believe when he's balls deep in those brides - He's seeing your face.

The other brides look at you in absolute awe. Who is this beautiful holy being before them?

Astarion cannot be more pleased when you agree to intimacy again. Whilst he would love nothing more than to fuck you all day, he finds himself compromising - if it means he can keep his sweet consort.

However, when he acquires a third bride, this is when your murderous tendencies begin. You want to attract his attention, but you want to do it in front of the other brides. Killing his subjects, disobeying him and escaping punishment in front of those sorry excuses for playthings... Silly little things, but you begin to take enjoyment in killing after a while.

The other brides kneel and worship him, begging him not to take out his displeasure on them as you sit scowling on his lap. Astarion is becoming absolutely vexed by this behaviour. All he desired was for his consort to sit on his lap and accept some affection - So why are his lips kissing you so greedily all over your face and lips to receive nothing in return? The vampire growls lowly when your mouth doesn't move in reaction to his.

"Misery doesn't suit that pretty face of yours, my dear..." he snarls. There is still no reaction when he bites the fatty part of your lower lip, drawing blood... No moaning when he kisses your neck exactly how you like it. Not even pathetic namecalling or fighting back as he marks you. Just plain, spiteful silence.

The brides look on in disgust. Had one of them done that, he would have had them flogged. Punished in the worst way possible. When you notice their distaste for the situation, a grin blooms on your lips. Justice.

"Leave us," is the next command from his lips. Oh. It seems he wants to deal with you in private. His pets file out, huddling at the door to listen.

How they gasp and look between themselves in horror when you receive a chance to redeem yourself. On your knees, gazing up at him, caressing his thighs as you tell him, "you know that I would do anything for you, darling..."

Manipulating Astarion in these sorts of situations is surprisingly easy. He's whipped.

One thing that never fails to get him instahard is watching your mischief. (Usually.)

You had been feeling rather generous today, finding yourself sat on his desk as his mouth explored your other pair of lips beneath your skirts/your length beneath his cape. A scout comes running in, failing to knock first. The lustful visage on your face being seen was no bother to you - but something isn't right when Astarion merely lets it slide. What is he doing? Pathetic.

Disappearing into thin air, you reappear behind the spawn, frightening him out of his skin. In your hand is Astarion's dagger, from the belt of his own trousers.

Little minx. When did you pinch that?

"What is your name, darling?" you coo, a playful grin on your features as you circle him hungrily.

"E-Edgar... Milady/Milord..." is the reply.

"There's no need to be frightened of me." There is every reason. You're like death on legs. Astarion rolls his eyes, asking you to leave the poor thing alone. He was told earlier to come and report at this time - you were serving as a distraction.

Nonsense, you think. In one swift motion, the dagger is against the spawns throat from behind.

"Edgar, darling. Tell my husband why I should spare your life... Beg for it."

He babbles and bitches, struggling to come up with excuses beyond sheer foolishness. They're all so frightened of you. It's intoxicating. The way you can clear a room with just a look. How you can influence others to just get things done.

Of course, your man asks you once again to let go, let him be for god's sake. Y/N you're scaring the bitches

With a quick slice, scarlet blood paints the floor and your body, dressed in white. This poor spawn is holding his throat with dismay. He'll be fine. If not a little traumatised.

Licking the blood from the dagger, you can't help but bite your lip with a grin, offering the other side to your husband. This will remind him why he keeps you.

[gayuu-the-necromancer]

Ikevil Male Leads in a Job interview

WARNING: This is a joke, please don't act like this in your actual interview!

Liam:

Interviewer: "Tell me about yourself."

Liam: "My name is Liam Evans. I'm a stage actor for the past X no. of years and also works as assassin behind the scenes. I was forcefully put into a mental hospital at a very young age after I was accused of killing my parents and my butler and also burning my family mansion. Due to this, I get frequent episodes where I go completely crazy and do things out of curiosity."

Interviewer: *WTF!!?*

William:

Interviewer: "What are your strengths and weakness?"

William: "Well...I can give orders to people and force them to do whatever I want by just looking into their eyes."

Interviewer: ".........Are you implying that you possess, leadership skills?"

William: "I won't necessary call it a leadership skill because I love seeing people being free and being the master of their own actions."

Interviewer: "..........."

Interviewer: "..........O-Okay, then what are your weaknesses?"

William: "Strawberries."

Interviewer: "........."

William: "....fufu....I'm sorry, that's the only thing I can't share?"

Harrison:

Interviewer: "So Mr Harrison, why do want this job?"

Harrison: "Honestly, I just wanna a job because I want to avoid going to home because there is this annoying old man in house who constantly gives me tasks in the name of Queen Victoria."

Interviewer: "....Was it supposed to be a joke?"

Harrison: "You tell me. Am I lying or saying the true?" *takes out his strawberry milk can*

Interviewer: ".........."

Elbert:

Interviewer: "So Mr. Greetia, how do you put an elephant inside a refrigerator?"

Elbert: "..............Does putting an elephant inside...makes it beautiful?"

Interviewer: "Excuse me?"

Elbert: "I have preserved many animal skins before.......but never an elephant. .....Do you think an elephant is beautiful...?"

Interviewer: "..........Ha?"

Alphonse:

Interviewer: "Can you work under pressure?"

Alphonse: "Of course. Not only working under pressure, I can also help others in my team to work effectively."

Interviewer: "Oh, how?"

Alphonse: "I can give them blissful dreams to help them relieve their stress."

Interviewer: "B-Blissful dreams...?"

Alphonse: "Want to find out? *removes his gloves* Let's have fun together, shall we?"

Interviewer: "NO!" *runs away*

Roger:

Interviewer: "Can you tell me about a time you had to deal with an unsatisfied customer?"

Roger: "As a part of my job, I do encounter various types of patients. But there is this one bastard who is always ungrateful. He's my regular customer and always comes to me for check up and no matter how much I work hard to treat his injuries and lung problems, this son of bitch calls me a quack and then smokes right in front of me! After I treated his lungs! Seeing him makes me wanna pull out my gun, shoved it his mouth and shoot him. But I have to control myself because I'm a doctor."

Interviewer: ".............."

Roger: "Your heart rate is fast....are you okay?"

Ellis:

Interviewer: "So tell me why you quit your last job?"

Ellis: "Well....I was doing a contract job with my previous employer. But no matter how much I tried, I just couldn't make my boss happy."

Interviewer: ".....................Huh?"

Interviewer: "E-Excuse me...what kind of job were you doing before?"

Ellis: "I was working in a trading company as my boss's assistant and carry out whatever orders my boss gives me. It could range from simple collections to straight up assassination and cleaning up. But no matter how much I worked hard, my efforts couldn't bear a fruit. I couldn't make my boss happy....*sad face*

Intervierwer: "E....Erm...."

Ellis: "Will you give me a job here? I promise I'll make you the happiest person in this entire world." *smiles*

Interviewer: *runs away feeling embarrassed*

Ellis: "Did I make them sad too?" *sad face*

Jude:

Interviewer: "Phew....that was a lot...In my entire career, I have never interviewed a bunch of weirdos....*sighs* please call the next---"

*gunshot*

Interviewer: "WHAT THE HELL!? Was that a gunshot!?"

*Door opens*

CEO: "Please! please help me! He's after my life!"

Jude: "Where's that bastard who stole my money? You think you can steal my money and get away huh? Now how should I punish you?"

CEO: "Mr. Jude....please...I'm sorry...I just wanted to start my own company..."

Jude: "If you wanted to start your own company, you should have done it with your own money, you jackass. *lights his cigarette while standing in front of the 'no smoking' sign board* Tch....Usually, I would let Ellis handle these kinds of errands, but now I have to do it myself."

Interviewer: (Wait....so this guy was Ellis's...previous boss)

Jude: *Shots the CEO in the head*

Jude: "Now I'm taking over your company. Since it's technically build from my money" *laughs manically*

Interviewer: *faints*

Jude: "Hm? *looks at the fainted interviewer* What the?"

[kirisaki-daichi-scenarios]

the boys as bodyguards

dedicated to absolutely no one. sure this is an asks blog - does that mean i have to actually answer them? i know i know bad admins bad admins whatcha gonna do whatcha gonna do when they come for you but i had a dream ages ago now that involved bodyguards, tsunamis, and also a shit ton of murder. don't ask. anyway, it got me pondering. and then it took literal months to write this so i figured i'd post what i've got so far, and maybe i'll update with the rest of the boys later, depending on how well this does/how much time i have

hanamiya makoto

hanamiya’s the package deal

he’s the chief advisor; he’s the doctor; he’s the bodyguard; he’s the sniper. just a right hand man in every way possible.

i mean, he’s not literally your right hand man: he’s the leader of a team, and often it’ll be one of his men there next to you at events, but he’s always supervising or coordinating or collecting intel

ie he’s dedicated to his job. he does like engineering spider’s webs after all.

having said that, he’s also an uncontrollable prick

he’s the best at giving you advice, both in terms of navigating high society and in terms of actual business advice, but is he going to give that advice without slipping in a snide comment about how you should really know all this by now? when you tell him to make sure to take a break some time, is he going to stop himself from saying “maybe if you weren’t so incredibly useless on your own, i’d be able to.”

and sure maybe he’s breaking the universal declaration of human rights with what he does to the people who dare to try harm you, but you don’t know about that

need to know basis type beat

you don’t even have access to the full floor plans of your own property, which includes a basement you’ll never know about, let alone step foot in. hanamiya keeps that information very close to his chest.

gotta make sure his employer has plausable deniability

gotta make double sure that you don’t find out about half the things he does - from the ways he sources his information, to his very dodgy organised crime links, to the number of people that have sadly lost their lives in the name of “fuck it, you’re pissing me off” - because he hates when you bang on about bullshit like “laws” and “morals”

after all, if everyone followed your beloved laws and morals, then you’d have no need for his services

as he always tells you, he’s just your pet necessary evil

yamazaki hiroshi

i reckon he only got into the bodyguard business because he spent his childhood wanting to be a samurai but, well you know, that’s not really a job opportunity anymore

what it does mean though is that he’s all about bushido: mastering his work, bravery, honesty, etc - and above all else loyalty to one’s employer

on a random thursday afternoon, he’ll tell you, completely nonchalantly, straight face, “i would die for you if that’s what it takes. on my life, i’ll always keep you safe.”

you’re staring at him like wtf and/or trying to stop yourself blushing, but he thinks that’s a completely normal thing to say cause he’s just following bushido

of course, late one night, he’ll wake up realise how weird that came across and he’ll spend the next week trying not to blush whenever you talk to him

just like the time he spent a week kicking himself after you walked in on him training, shirtless and rather sweaty, and when you told him he should take a break, he said “but i need to train so my body can be at its best for you”

again, at the time that sounded very reasonable, serious, and totally bushido to him. it’s only later that he’s freaking out in his room like why in god’s name did he say that.

but hey that’s bodyguard!yamazaki for you. a little weird, a little socially inept, but loyal to a fault

haizaki shougo

can you imagine the number of jobs that this man has lost for sleeping on the job?

he’s only got his current gig looking after you because his prices are cheaper and you were getting desperate to find someone in your budget

he’s a ...uhh… unique bodyguard? in the sense that he’ll get you out of harms way eventually, but "eventually" is the key word there

haizaki actively ignores intel that a certain location might be dangerous, because he really just wants to get into fights. sure you might get in the way occasionally, maybe even get some nasty bruises, but hey you get what you pay for.

you want a good bodyguard, save up some money, idiot.

literally the only reason he got into being a bodyguard is so he can beat people up legally (and because he got dishourably discharged from the military); he doesn’t care that much about the whole ‘protecting’ side of things

he’s also the type to ditch you the minute a better paying job comes up (possibly combat work as a mercenary). however he’s not as cold-hearted as he may seem, and he’ll happily spend a day of leave breaking into your penthouse

so that when you return in the evening, he’s there sat on an armchair, grinning smugly, “man your security’s turned to shit since i left.”

shortly followed by, “miss me?”

jason silver

jason’s the quintessential bodyguard, cause, after all, having a very muscular 6’11 man follow you everywhere you go isn’t exactly subtle

but he’s recognisable for other reasons as well.

like the fact that he’ll accompany you to formal balls, and he’ll be the only man there with an undone tie - it’s such a massive argument trying to get him to wear an appropriate suit instead of his usual hoodies and sweatpants, that can anyone blame you for not having the energy to insist he stops undoing his tie as well?

he’s also not exactly one for professionality. like you’ll be minding your business, trying to network, and suddenly you’ll hear a wolf whistle by your ear and a “wouldn’t mind me a bit of that”

“jason, that’s the ambassador to norway. we’re having her over for dinner next week, so, with all due respect, shut the fuck up. and whisper next time, for heaven’s sake! what if someone had heard you?”

“shit, is it a crime to like some nice tits in this economy?”

and when you glare at him, genuinely furious, he grins, puts his hands up, and says, “sorry, sorry. forgot you don’t like me having eyes for anyone else, boss.”

but don’t get me wrong, jason’s not all evil contra to fujimaki’s propaganda

he is an incredibly good bodyguard - those animal instincts really help him out when it comes to getting you out of a sniper’s line of sight, or saving you from a bullet, or just assessing a room for potential entry points. and he packs a mean punch if anyone tries to try something on you, a solid ko.

no one’s getting past him essentially

the only problem is that it’s incredibly difficult to thank jason for saving your life, cause the last thing he needs is an ego boost or feeling like you owe him.

“seriously jason. i don’t know how i can ever repay you.”

“usually the payslip’s enough,” he smirks, “but you know that little lady ambassador-“

unsuprisingly, he’s not invited to the dinner.

[saxandviolins77]

what are your favorite episodes of g1 featuring the constructicons?

Can I make a rank? I'm gonna make a rank!

Only episodes where the Constructicons are absolutely essential to the plot, if they are only in the background or only have a throwaway line it doesn't count!

From worst to best:

7.Secret of Omega Supreme

I know, I know, controversial! This episode is truly more about the titular character than the Constructicons and it introduces my least favorite origin for them. Not a bad episode and it has some cool scenes involving my boy Devastator, but eh... Don't care!

6.The Autobot Run

This episode has a laughably bad premise, even for G1! But dare I say, the character interactions and quips save this from total oblivion, and the Constructicons aren't an exception to that! So many great interactions and lines (Long Haul saying "Finally! We're gonna make little Autobots out of big ones AHAHAHA!" and "at last, conflict!", how can you not love it?). Devastator also has a great fighting sequence! You know, great as in stupidly fun, like him hitting the Autobots as if they were bowling pins. I remember rewatching the scene where they de-combined Devastator over and over again, for some reason I was obsessed with the delivery there.

5.The Core

This episode is shit from the ass in terms of plot, like... We already have a better episode... With the same "plan of the week". I just wish this one focused more on the "Devastator is now an Autobot weapon" side of the plot and was better paced.

That being said, I still adore the Constructicons here! Their interactions are awesome and I love how this established them as friends, like... Waow... I also adore how big of a focus Devy has, he even gets to save the day!

4.City of Steel

The episode where the Constructicons shit-talk each other, make an alligator, and Devastator does King Kong. Perfect.

Not only do I love their banter but this episode has my favorite Scrapper scene: him forgetting the word "damage" for no reason... Like WHY? Love my ADHD king. This is also the episode where Mixy has a stutter... More than perfect.

3.Heavy Metal War

Introduction episode, what can I say?

Despite them being the secondary plot, I very much adore them here. This episode establishes Scrapper as their leader AND introduces the Dinobots as one of their rivals (their superior rivals if I say so myself.) I also love how Devastator comes in as a surprise, like WOW they combine into a big robot, how novel, I'll buy a toy! I also adore how they defeat Devy by making him shit his pants in fear of another combiner... Girl, you're so pathetic...

2.Triple takeover

My favorite G1 episode... And it just so happens to have the Constructicons there! What a joy!

I absolutely love traitorous Constructicons as a concept, these guys do not care about Megatron at all ahahah.

This is also one of the episodes where we have Scrapper building a THRONE out of near-dead Autobots and sitting on it... You're awesome, Scrappy...

Of course, the best part is the Constructicons busting in on Blitzwing and demanding him to own his part of the deal... And the fucking idiot curses off the six guys who turn into a giant robot... Great stuff.

Also... How did Megatron defeat Devastator? Is he that pathetic? My big loser is actually a loser?

1.The Master Builders

THE PERFECT CONSTRUCTICON-FOCUSED EPISODE! If you're going to watch something with them, watch this one.

I love moody Grapple and reserved Hoist, such a cute duo of characters already AND THEN you put the Constructicons with them? Perfect!

This is also the episode where the Constructicons are shown to be two-faced bastards who change on the turn of a dime, and well, I find this better than brain-washing, sue me. I also love their personalities here, cheery Scrapper casually convincing Grapple to let them work on his project, and then acting the same after they decide to betray Grapple on Megatron's command... Wtf is your problem.

I also adore the Constructicons making Grapple do their work for them, ahahah. They remind me of older engineers/technicians messing with the new guy at work for kicks and giggles.

I also love how much of fuckups the Constructicons are... Good job on conspiring behind Megatron's back then immediately getting caught red-handed and making up a fucking lie on the spot, you're terrible.

Devastator is also at his peak here. This is the episode that inspired my characterization of him... He just messes with the Autobots and is outsmarted by them and defeated by the Constructicons' own work... The irony... Is rich. Like, how much of a jerk can he be?? He laughs at Optimus Prime, he dismisses Cliffjumper and he SMIRKS when he falls on the ground and somehow grabs warpath.

I need him dead. Immediately.

[midnight-talescape]

𝑀𝒶𝓈𝓉𝑒𝓇𝓁𝒾𝓈𝓉

｡･ﾟ･｡+☆+｡･ﾟ･｡+☆+｡･ﾟ･｡+☆+｡･ﾟ･｡+☆+｡･ﾟ･｡+☆+｡･ﾟ･｡+☆+｡･ﾟ･｡+☆+｡･ﾟ･｡

Not me having to do this twice because tumblr ate the first one

The single character are just the only character I will write for in their fandom because I only find them attractive (no I don't take question for my choice) But feel free to convince me otherwise with nice prompt

𝒟𝓇𝒶𝑔𝑜𝓃 𝐵𝒶𝓁𝓁

The Tyrant and His Pet (Yandere Frieza x Reader)

^ art to go with that story I said no oc but im also a hypocrite

Mine (Yandere King Cold x Adopted Reader) <- I will fuck his entire family excluding chill who look like a purple and orange dildo and kuriza whos a literal child

Frieza x Majin Buu’s Sister Reader Headcanon It actually took me 6 months wtf 😭

𝐵𝓁𝒶𝒸𝓀 𝐵𝓊𝓉𝓁𝑒𝓇

Contract (Alpha Sebastian x Omega Reader) I want a demon buler

𝒫𝑜𝓀𝑒𝓂𝑜𝓃 (𝐼’𝓂 𝓃𝑜𝓉 𝑒𝓍𝓅𝓁𝒶𝒾𝓃𝒾𝓃𝑔 𝒶𝓃𝓎𝓉𝒽𝒾𝓃𝑔)

Trainer and Pokémon are both okay (final evolution and grown up only)

Rage (Yandere Human Gyarados x Reader) no thought mind blank

Sacrifice (Yandere Human Volcarona x Reader) why did i write lava cum

Forbidden (Yandere Greninja x Reader) i will always love forbidden ninja love

Mate (Serperior x Reader) favorite starter no regret

Virus (Various Pokémon x Reader) no comment

Worship (Arceus x Reader) go big or go home

Fire (Arcanine x Reader) dog

Love and Lust (Sylveon x GN Reader)

Undeserving (Ceruledge x Reader)

𝐼𝓃𝓊𝓎𝒶𝓈𝒽𝒶

Heat (Sesshomaru x Half Demon Reader) <- first anime crush

𝒟𝒮𝑀𝒫 (𝒞! 𝒪𝓃𝓁𝓎)

I’m here (C!Philza x Cat Hybrid Reader) Im so fucking sorry

𝒜𝓈𝓈𝒶𝓈𝓈𝒾𝓃𝒶𝓉𝒾𝑜𝓃 𝒞𝓁𝒶𝓈𝓈𝓇𝑜𝑜𝓂 (𝐸𝓋𝑒𝓇𝓎𝑜𝓃𝑒’𝓈 𝑔𝑜𝓃𝓃𝒶 𝒷𝑒 𝒶 𝒶𝒹𝓊𝓁𝓉)

Prey (Koro Sensei x Reader) Adult need special care

𝒪𝓃𝓂𝓎𝑜𝒿𝒾

Treasure (Yandere Tamamo no Mae x Reader) fluffy tails

𝒟𝒞

Criminal (Yandere Batman x Criminal Reader) I might have a type

Taboo (Brother Batman x Sister Reader) i was so fucking excited for this ;-;

𝐻𝒶𝓇𝓇𝓎 𝒫𝑜𝓉𝓉𝑒𝓇 (𝒜𝓁𝓁 𝒶𝑔𝑒 𝓊𝓅)

Purpose (Lucius Malfoy x Reader) I have some daddy issue

𝐻𝒶𝓏𝒷𝒾𝓃 𝐻𝑜𝓉𝑒𝓁 + 𝐻𝑒𝓁𝓁𝓊𝓋𝒶 𝐵𝑜𝓈𝓈

Deal (Alastor x Reader) not me remembering Alastor doesn't brush his teeth

Lust (Asmodeus x Succubus Reader) I love mister rooster guy

Soul(Alastor x Overlord Reader)

Eyes(Vox x Reader)

Wish(Zestial x Overlord Reader)

𝒞𝑜𝑜𝓀𝒾𝑒 𝑅𝓊𝓃 𝒦𝒾𝓃𝑔𝒹𝑜𝓂 (𝓈𝒽𝒽𝒽𝒽𝒽𝒽)

Cookie & Cream (Yandere Dark Cacao x Reader x Yandere Pure Vanilla) It's definitely call cream, I don't take argument

𝑀𝒾𝑔𝓊𝑒𝓁 𝒪’𝒽𝒶𝓇𝒶 (𝒴𝑒𝓈 𝓉𝒽𝒾𝓈 𝓂𝒶𝓃 𝑔𝑒𝓉 𝒽𝒾𝓈 𝑜𝓌𝓃 𝒸𝑜𝓁𝓊𝓂𝓃)

Princesa (Miguel O’hara x Reader) I love writing hate sex

Needs (Alpha Miguel O’hara x Beta Reader) I want this man to do so many illegal shit to me

Washing Machine (Miguel O’hara x Reader) help me stepbro

Needs and Wants (Omega Miguel O’hara x Beta Reader) this man has so many things that can do so many things to me

Protection (Bodyguard Miguel O’hara x Reader) I will pay big money for this man

Aphrodisiac (Miguel O’hara x Reader) he totally gaslighted you lol

Good Boy (Hybrid Miguel O’hara x Reader) the title has little to no correlation with the story

Mi Diosa (War God Miguel O’hara x Reader) The amount of Miguel i’m writing is getting ridiculous

Secret (Best Friend Miguel O’hara x Hero Reader) I want miguel so badly

Villain (Yandere Villain Miguel O’hara x Hero Reader) I need to remember this is a smut

Hatred (Various Miguel x Reader) i love angst

Killer (Ghostface Miguel O’hara x Shy (?) Reader) very thin line between shy and psychopathic

Little Spider (Stepdad Miguel O’hara x Reader) stepdad miguel lets goooooo

Love(Yandere Ai Miguel O’hara x Creator Reader)

𝒥𝓊𝒿𝓊𝓉𝓈𝓊 𝒦𝒶𝒾𝓈𝑒𝓃

Leash (Wolf Toji x Reader) Bark bark

Master and Slave (Toji x Reader) No thought want Toji to [bleep] me

Discipline (Proffesor Nanami x Student Reader) Look at this beautiful mature responsible man

Liar (Sukuna x Reader) I think regular people will die if they fuck him

𝒥𝑜𝒿𝑜’𝓈 𝐵𝒾𝓏𝒶𝓇𝓇𝑒 𝒜𝒹𝓋𝑒𝓃𝓉𝓊𝓇𝑒

Courting(Jotaro x Mermaid Reader)

Blood(Risotto x Reader)

Doll(Bucciarati x Reader)

Savior(Ghost Pucci x Reader)

Kiss or Kill(Yandere Various Stand x Reader)

𝒮𝒾𝓃𝑔𝓁𝑒 𝒞𝒽𝒶𝓇𝒶𝒸𝓉𝑒𝓇

Jealousy (Ice Bear x Reader) *insert How bad can I be

Despise (John Wick x Reader) <- this is favorite will recommand

Wine (Thranduil x Reader) Im into some freaky shit

Game (707 x Reader) My beloved

Love (Yandere Kururu x Reader) I dont know why I love him I just do

Captain (Levi x Reader) You can break my neck

Pet (Slenderman x Reader) daddy long leg

𝒫𝓇𝑜𝓂𝓅𝓉

Pearls (Yandere Sea Monster x Mermaid Reader) I had to cut it because I was dragging it on for too long

Intertwine (Genderbend Parallel (?) x Reader) its just a little weird okay

Don't Leave (Yandere Dragon x Reader) Dragon, my love

Obsession (Yandere Wolf x Reader) I have no thought just head hurt, also want a wolf. Doesn't have to be a man just a wolf

[froagie]

I 100% support u in everything u say abt zl and everyone else. Ur comics give me life fr

Thanks so much here are some more zhongli facts. (Source: Me)

his house is actually huge but only like 1.5 rooms are navigable because everywhere else is filled with random rocks and trinkets he "bought", hes like Oh the pattern on this cor lapis looks like a bird in flight it would be a shame not to buy it

he is Teyvat's Most Divorced Milf

he owns 7 copies of the same outfit and 1 of hu tao's outfit in his size that she kept trying to make him wear because it would be "cute if the funeral parlor was matching" (He doesnt wear it)

he used to just have his Tits Out all the time but realized when hed be giving orders to the adepti literally nobody would pay attention so he started wearing a shirt

knew shenhe when she was a kid and she would tug on his ponytail all the time and also bite his spear and the spear still has teethmarks in it to this day

every few centuries or so venti and zhongli get divorced again (for fun), the most recent time they tried to get a divorce (lantern rite) they couldn't afford it because Yanfei started hiking up her prices exponentially because she was sick of dealing with their bull shit

he has mastered the art of manipulation which is how he manages to almost always buy everything for the price of free and the manipulation in question is smiling at them shoujo manga love interest style, OR using childes fatui bank funds that he never bothered to change the PIN on, btw childe is in huge trouble with the harbingers for using exponentially more than his allotted share of fatui funds, thats why the last time he was in an event (the one with yoimiya) he was talking about how he has to keep an eye on his spending

xingqiu writes in-universe RPF about Rex Lapis under an alias, and gets into multi-page heated arguments in the comments with keqing (also commenting anonymously) about the characterization in the middle of which is user TartagliaLapis asking if he takes character x reader commissions. xiao went to the AO3 message board or whatever in the dead of night when no one can see him to read the rex lapis fanfiction then he adds another comment like "Rex Lapis would not fucking say that"

zhongli and baizhu play mahjong together with old grandmas at 5 in the morning #enrichment

the first time that zhongli painstakingly made almond tofu for xiao he didnt even eat it because he was like Rex Lapis Made This For Me. I Must Treasure This Forever And Preserve His Culinary Creation For All Of Eternity. and he put it in like one of those glass cases you put anime figures in. next time zhongli visited him he was like Oh dear... was the almond tofu not to your liking? Im sorry :( and xiao almost kills himself right then and there but hes like No my lord it was delicious and perfect like everything you do and he smashes the case open and shoves the entire plate in his mouth and swallows it in one go and starts gagging and choking because he didnt even chew and probably swallowed some glass too and then he faints and wakes up in baizhus office and hes like wtf happened then he sees zhongli waiting by his bedside looking worried and he remembers what he just did and passes out again from the sheer embarrassment

[asukaskerian]

monthly word count - may

TOTAL: 3 026... :((((((((( this month has been BAD for my concentration. upside, i plotted out several things like cherry wine and also wasted idk how long making family trees for uchiha and senju. totally essential, glad you all agree. u_u;;;;

ok i also tried to come up with a quick svsss arranged marriage bingqiu and got so into "no but i need more setup for it, it makes no sense like this" and now it seems to be SQH crack with qijiu instead because *shen yuan hasn't been born yet* what the frick self.

POSTED : nothin.

IN PROGRESS -svsss cracky plot divergence (1 545 words) -bleach suburban ot4 (1 481 words)

-- svsss -- The truth wasn't that Airplane had hatched a master plan to sneak out from under his System's unforgiving yoke.

The truth was that he'd been buried in emergency inventory lists to his eyebrows for the last two weeks, and just that day had to deal with eight different customers who couldn't understand why heightened demon-human hostilities would mean their ancient viagra tea would be harder to procure, all because his shifu thought he could do with more asshole-handling practice. The last thing he needed was Shen newly-Qingqiu getting in his face about the wrong wood being used in his tranquility-promoting benches.

Who the fuck caaaaaaares bro shut the FUCK up we all know it's because the wood grain's not the right swirliness for your "artistic vision"!

So he lost his temper.

In true Shang Qinghua fashion he lost it in the privacy of his own mind and nowhere else. "Ah, shixiong, you understand, we're too understaffed to send a team! It would be months before an expedition could be justified."

"Why is that."

Airplane had created Shen Jiu to be a bitch, but sometimes he was still surprised at the depths of bitchiness he managed to plunder with a single eyebrow.

"Because I try not to feed more than five shidis a week to Colossal Orchid-Faced Ants when I can help it?"

The way Shen Quingqiu paused and gave him a considering look had Shang Qinghua freeze solid for a second. Fuck fuck shit abort--

"Shang-shidi's tongue seems in fine form today," Shen Qingqiu commented in a silky way that Airplane translated into 'ooh, a challenger to my bitchy crown'. "One would almost think he didn't find his mistake anything to complain about."

... Jjghbgffhhh.

-- bleach --

Karate chop: umm. Hi! I hope i'm not bothering you, Grimmjow-san? Karate chop: we found new kittens! Kazui insisted we show you. :) Karate chop sent a picture Karate chop: they're hanging out behind my father in law's house, haha Karate chop: wonder where they were born? Surely not too far from here. Karate chop: ohh, there's one more kitten! She must be shy, it's the first time i see her! Karate chop sent a picture Karate chop sent a picture Karate chop: i'll stop spamming you now. Have a good afternoon, Grimmjow-san! Me: no new cats Me: rat royale battle tho if youre into that You sent a picture Karate chop: ahahahah oh nooooo, their little fists! Karate chop: :D :D :'D You sent a picture Me: lil flower in between two bricks Karate chop: oh! That's a carnation! How did she get there? How pretty. Karate chop: Kazui found you a buttercup!  Karate chop sent a picture Me: heh Karate chop: ~^_^~ Me: hey kurosaki Karate chop: yes?  Me: the fuck happened to your house Karate chop: oh Karate chop: haha Karate chop: Nel-chan didn't tell you? :) Me: She did Me: The little you told her anyway Me: s'about the other day? Karate chop: aheh... yeah. Karate chop: ( ; ω ; ) Me: im bothering to tell you im sighing irl is how much im sighing abt this. wtf nerd glasses kurosaki  Karate chop: ._. Karate chop: it's not a bad thing, really! The neighbors... Me: yeah i aint ever left a roof over my head over neighbors unless there was a knife fight involved. What else was in his moron cheeto head? Karate chop: aheheheh Karate chop: you don't mind if i talk to you about it? I don't want to bore you Me: i'm ASKING ABT IT do you want me to put up a sign too Me: give me the deets already woman Karate chop: :O grimmjow-san is a gossip!!!!!!!! GASP. Me: do i gotta pull out the emoticons