#‘wonder what i’d be without you’ alright pack it up

[riacte]

“oh watch doctor who it’ll be fun” and im crying my eyes out watching the end of time. aaaaaaaa at least 14 got back with donna 😭

[subwaysurf45]

She’s Not Mad

Summary: Bucky Barnes was a known people pleaser, it was second nature to him. After meeting you and getting close you both try to navigate his eternal stressed state, working together you try your best to tone down his obsessive ways. 

Words: 9k (if you’ve been wondering where I’ve been...)

Warnings: Bucky has mommy issues, mentions of oral sex, nudity, angst, fluff, college!bucky, slow burn

A/N: thanks for the patience! 

Masterlist

A Couple of Weeks Ago…

“So, you’re not a thing?” Bucky asked as he shoved his laptop and notebook back into his bag, grabbing the handle of his water bottle and choosing to carry it with him for the walk. 

The two boys were higher up in the rows of the lecture hall as they peered over the two girls talking to the professor. Steve had his eyes drilled into Natasha, the girl standing off to the side as her friend went over a question she had. 

“She told me she is still figuring out her feelings since her last serious relationship,” Steve sighed as he packed up as well, “and I told her I’d wait- apparently this guy’s parents had given their family engagement ring and everything.” 

Bucky pulled the corner of his lips out tight as they began to walk down the stairs, “who’s the other girl?” 

“The one that was just asking the question is Y/N,” Steve watched as both girls left the room, “good friends, met last year, live together now.” 

“She’s cute,” Bucky said purely, no smirk or innuendo.

********

You sat over your laptop in the library with both hands acting as a brim to cover your eyes from the people around you. Tears rolled down your face as you studied the practice question, you felt pathetic and you tried to sniffle as quietly as possible. If anyone saw you silently bawling you’d drop out, it was stupid enough already when the librarian walked over and dropped a tissue box off without saying a word. 

“What do you mean?” you whispered to the page for the hundredth time, hoping for some answer. 

You had done the homework, you went to the study groups, you even extended your prof's office hours because you wanted to make sure you were doing everything right. Yet here you were, sitting alone on a Friday night because you still can’t do the practice assignment. Quitting felt like the only option, it wasn’t like everything was going to click; it was too late. 

This was just going to become the thing that you could never do, simple as that. Sometimes there are subjects that no matter how hard you try, you don’t have the flair. It was a tough pill to swallow but you’d never be able to do any work if you’d continue to hold yourself to a high standard, it was a win to get the little things right, not the entire question. 

The idea of failing was new to you. The jump from high school to college was still something you never adapted to, you always expected nineties on everything and not the mindset that C’s get degrees. 

Trying to do the question was like beating a dead horse, you needed a break. You ran your hands over your face and leaned back in your chair, hearing pops from your back as you did so, until you were leaning back and looking up at the ceiling. When you looked straight you saw someone already staring at you. 

He had longer brown hair that hit his jawline, blue eyes that jumped out at you, and a very concerned look on his face. He was familiar but you didn’t know what it was from. 

“Are you Natasha’s friend?” The guy came up to your empty table. 

“Yeah?” You wiped away your tears, extremely confused as he pulled out the chair right beside you to sit at the eight sided table. 

“I’m good friends with Steve, I think the two of them have something going on- not important, but I kind of know you and I'd rather not leave someone I kinda know alone crying, so…” he rubbed the back of his neck, “are you okay?”

“Do I look okay?” you rolled your eyes and faced your computer again, “the absolute last thing I need is something watching me cry, alright?” your bottom lip wobbled as you kept your eyes away from his at all times. 

He was still staring at you, “come on,” he sighed and moved his hand to comfort you but thought otherwise, “I’m not going to laugh at you or run and tell everyone I know I saw a girl crying in the library- y’know what they’d say?” You could see him tilt his head, “they’d say what’s the big deal, haven’t we all?” 

You scoffed, “no they wouldn’t.” 

“You’re calling me a liar?” 

“I don’t even know your name.”

“Bucky,” he stuck out his hand, “Bucky Barnes.” You shook his hand, “and since I am a Barnes and was raised by my ma I simply can not let this continue, it’s my obligation to either cheer you up or take you home.” 

You scoffed again and tried your best to hide your smile, “and I’m Y/N, and in my family we stress about everything and never give up so I can’t leave until I get this question, so…”

Bucky’s tongue poked the inside of his cheek as he flipped the laptop to face him a little better, “this is the class all four of us have together, alright,” he read over the question and immediately furrowed his brows before looking at you again, trying your best to hold it together. He knew the answer but couldn’t bear to see your reaction, it was painfully obvious you were beating yourself stupid over these questions. 

“Can you take a deep breath for me?” he asked like he was talking to a child. 

“I barely know you, dude,” you crossed your arms and ripped your laptop back to face you, “and I’ll have you know I don’t need a man to come in here and explain everything to me, alright, I’m going to figure this out on my own and I don’t need you, okay? So just head home, tell Steve I say hi.” 

Bucky took a deep breath himself, “that question isn’t marked on the homework, the reason you can’t get the answer is because the way to get it has most likely not been taught yet,” he paused and saw your face crumble, “and I didn’t want to freak you out because you look like you’ve been here a while and you seem to be beating yourself up and I just couldn’t-”

“Stop,” you whispered and covered your face with your hands, “just stop talking.” 

And he did. 

Trying your best to calm your breaths, it didn’t work. So fucking stupid, unbelievable, there’s no way you just spent close to an hour staring at a problem you didn’t even have to do in the first place. 

“Can you walk me home?” you squeeked. 

“Of course,” Bucky stood up right away and started helping you pack your bag, “I have some water, do you want it?” He held up his water bottle. You nodded and began drinking as you both made your way outside and towards your off-campus house. 

“Did you need to study?” you asked as you screwed on the cap. 

Bucky laughed and looked up at the night sky, “I was going for a walk because I heard there was a blood moon tonight, and there is, look,” he point up and saw the red mood looming above both of you, “and I just happened to walk past the library, I looked in the window and recognised your laptop as well as your hair, funny enough,” he laughed as he looked forward again. 

“So you just came in to see me?” you needed to make sure you were hearing this right, it’s not like it happens often. 

“I was going to introduce myself to you actually,” Bucky shrugged and looked over at you, “I know Steve and Nat are trying to figure things out and I thought friends of two people who might date should know one another. Then I saw you crying so I changed my game plan.”

You just nodded, slightly brushing into Bucky’s arm as you walked. It was hard to stay straight with the exhaustion taking over, every now and then you’d brush your knuckles past Bucky’s. He was a cute guy, and something about him being oh so caution around you made you feel important. 

“This is me,” you said later as you walked up the steps, “thanks Bucky, I hope we can be friends.” 

Bucky smiled and stood at the bottom of the steps, “if you ever get in your head again like that and need someone to pull you away, let me know- even in the middle of the night, alright?”

“Alright,” you laughed with your hand on the door handle. 

“I’m serious, Y/N. I look after the people close to me, I look after friends of friends like siblings,” there was no joking in his tone, it seemed other people doubted him on this promise. “I’ll give you my number,” he hand reached out for your phone. 

“I’ll be fine, you seemed to have good luck running into me,” you giggle and open the door to your house. Before it fully closed you felt resistance, looking over your shoulder you saw Bucky holding open your door. 

He was smiling, “then give me your number for another reason.” 

“Oh?” you turned and placed a hand on your chest, “you’re rather forward. 

“Well being cryptic didn’t work, did it?” He laughed and held out his hand again, “come on, I might need a study buddy one day- or even better, a lunch buddy.” you laughed as he tried to duck to meet your eyeline, “you don’t want to be my lunch buddy?”

“I’ll be your lunch buddy,” you giggled and handed him your phone, he wasted no time adding it in. “Goodnight,” you whispered and made it into your house, leaning back and resting against the door. You thought for a moment before breaking into a massive smile, replaying how he tried to keep eye contact with you. Or how he’d been so proud of how his mother raised him- “son of a bitch,” you whispered. 

He walked you back home and cheered you up. 

Just like he said he would. 

A Few Days Later…

Your phone must be hacked or something because your weather app said it would be completely clear today and sunny in the afternoon. As you sat in the cafe you thought it would clear up but it was only getting worse. 

All you needed to do was brave the rain and make your way home, but waiting for the perfect time when everything would let up for a moment was pointless. 

Walking as fast as you can with your head down, you saw your grey sweatpants become a darker shade instantly. It was a straight downpour with absolutely no sign of letting up, you swore you heard thunder when you waited at the crosswalk. Due to your phone lying to you, you had not brought a hooded article of clothing or umbrella so you just had to deal with everything going wrong. 

There definitely was thunder and the lightning was right above you, it seemed like you were the last person on Earth because everyone else was smart enough to stay inside right now; but not you. Down your little street you began to run, trying to get away from the lightning that was chasing you. 

If you could guess you’d say most people who had been struck by lightning most likely thought they were too far away, in denial as the sky opened up from above. It was hard to admit you were actually a little scared at that moment, rain getting in your eyes as you sprinted down to your house that was now in view. 

With your key at the ready you fell inside, slamming the door behind you. 

Natasha rounded the corner, “you idiot, I was trying to call you!” She screamed and saw your state, “Steve and Bucky are over-they drove over they could have picked you up,” Natasha got in your face to peel off the sweater, taking it off right over your head and leaving you in your bralette and those drenched sweatpants. 

“You took off my shirt when there’s boys here?” you whispered as you began to shake, covering your chest with crossed arms. 

“We guessed you were walking back so we put towels in the dryer,” as if on cue Bucky rounded the same corner with your fluffy towel ready, “thank you Bucky,” Natasha wrapped it around your shoulders. 

“Hi, Bucky,” you squeeked, “glad we keep meeting like this.”

Natasha had walked upstairs, most likely getting different pants. Bucky got down on one knee and slipped off your shoes, “like what?” he asked as he looked up, he reminded you of a little puppy somehow. He was as big as a great dane but there was an underlying softness that made you want to hug him or just let him wrap his arm around you. 

You huffed as you pulled the towel tighter, “when I’ve just done something embarrassing and you’re there to save the day.”

Bucky stood up with his arms crossed, “only you would think crying or getting caught in the rain is embarrassing,” he shook his head and reached out to rub your shoulder that was covered by the towel, “I like helping and I like making sure people I know are okay, you know this.”

“I do,” you whispered and walked further in your house. Before you could get anywhere near comfortable Natasha whisked you away to change your soggy pants as well as throw on a sweater, they had also been thrown in the drier, everything was very toasty and warm.

Steve was sitting on the couch, staring intensely at the football game going on. Natasha guided you back in and towards the couch. There was enough room for four of you but you knew thighs would be pressed up against one another, you were okay with that if Bucky was sitting beside you. Though you don’t see him often it was nice when you did even though you made it seem like it was embarrassing. Something about having someone who loves taking care of people take care of you so well caused you to crave it a little more. 

Bucky came around the couch with a mug, “hot chocolate for you,” he whispered and took the spot beside you, next to the arm rest. You thanked him and let your hand slightly burn on the mug when you held it, liking how the warmth began to spread up your arms. Natasha found her spot on the other side of you while Steve stayed on the edge, leaning forward and never looking away from the game. 

“This is really good,” you sipped it and whispered to Bucky, he just smiled and leaned into your side for a moment. 

“What were you working on?” he asked after a moment. 

“I was at the cafe for a little treat but before I was doing my elective course,” you spoke softly. It seemed like everything happened for a reason because you only got food at the cafe which left room for this hot chocolate now. 

“And that is?” Bucky giggled as he leaned forward again. 

“Art history,” suddenly, you were coy. Most people thought your elective was a bird course but to you it was actually interesting, it wasn’t often you were met with a positive response. 

His eyes got wide, “that’s sick!” Bucky readjusted himself off the couch, “I would have never even thought of that course, wow, that’s really cool. So, like, what do you-”

“Bucky, I love you, brother, I really do but-” Steve sighed, “can you please be quiet, this game is very important.” 

“I didn’t think the Big Game was on today?” you asked as you took another sip. 

“It’s not that,” Steve places his beer down, “it’s the State Cup Finals, it’s college football.” 

Natasha smiled and looked over, “his team’s the underdog and are actually on the road to winning the entire thing!” She giggled and linked an arm with Steve who was happy to cuddle up with her, “it’s actually very exciting once you learn the ins and outs of it.”

You just nodded and faced forward again, seeing Bucky out of the corner of your eyes rubbing his thumb on the neck of his beer bottle, staring off into space. The moment you leaned your head on his shoulder he looked over at you, your heart broke when you saw a sad smile. He was just trying to talk to you, he got excited for you and here he was being scolded. 

“Do you want to come look at some of my notes, or are you into this game?” you whispered and saw his eyes light up, both of you quickly stood and headed up stairs with your bag slung over your shoulder. 

The moment you walked into your room you felt everything slow down, Bucky slowly walked in and looked around. He was smiling to himself as he l took in your photos on the walls or posters, even your to do list seemingly growing on the white board you have mounted to one wall. 

You sat on the corner of your bed as he flipped through your notes, “so you’re, like, breaking down these paintings, it's not just the history of when they were painted?”

“Oh yeah,” you fiddled with the hem of your dry sweater, “most of these artist go insane and we look for that in the work or even just what was happening during the time with stuff that you’d learn in a normal history class but we look at if and when it get put into art,” this was your little thing you could talk about for ages, “very cool stuff.” 

Bucky nodded and flipped the pages, “your notes are amazing,” he whispered, “you’re a pretty good student, huh?” he looked over his shoulder and saw you sitting there, just staring at him as he made his way around your room. “What?” he giggled and made his way over to you, holding his hand out to get you to stand up. 

“Nothing,” you tucked your chin to your chest, getting coy at the attention. “You’re just…y’know, sweet.” 

Bucky just smiled and rubbed your arm, giggling as you both stared at one another for a moment. “Do you want to go back down?” 

“Sure,” you nodded and leaned forward, smiling as you both made your way back downstairs. 

The rain still worked its way down your windows as the beers and wine kept flowing. The game had ended a while ago but Steve and Bucky didn’t see a reason to leave, it was a good moment that no one wanted to end. You had finished your hot chocolate and moved onto wine, sipping it slowly as everyone talked. It was nice to be brought into this group even though it stemmed from Nat and Steve, there was good chemistry between the four of you. 

Talking to everyone was effortless, you didn’t need to act like someone else to fit in. no one was yelling over someone else to get their point across, there weren't any passive aggressive tones in anyone's jokes, it was carefree. It was relaxing to have people this easy to talk to. 

The only thing that wasn’t relaxing was the amount of times you caught Bucky staring at you. Everyone had migrated to the floor with their backs against different furniture so you could break out the board games, Bucky was sitting adjacent to you on your right and Steve adjacent on your left, Nat right in front. Every single move whether it be placing a card down or moving your little object around the board Bucky would find a reason to look at you. 

“Good one,” he’d pat your shoulder. 

“Let me move your piece for you,” he’d say before you could reach across the table. 

“Sorry…” he’d smile before taking your little object and moving it back four spots. 

He was very attentive, always watching and scanning. But the more you noticed it the more you figured out he was doing it to everyone, including Steve. Something happened whenever Bucky would either move Steve’s piece for him or go get another beer so he wouldn’t have to stand up, Steve would give this look. It seemed as though he was silently telling Bucky he knew something or he was pointing something out that had been a topic of conversation before. Bucky would try to laugh it off but Steve was very protective of Bucky, you just didn’t know why. 

The games had slowly come to a close, everyone not drunk but a little more than tipsy. Giggles flowed freely around the table as the conversation resumed again, your eyes were growing heavy as you traced the rim of your glass. 

“I’ll be back,” Bucky muttered as he headed to the washroom. 

The moment the door closed Steve sighed, “this kid.” 

“What?” you were getting protective, why was Steve about to talk shit about his best friend? 

Steve just shook his head, “It’s hard to see how badly Winnie fucked him up.” 

Your heart plummeted. Any tiredness had left your body faster than the little gasp escaped your lips. Who was this Winnie girl and why did he mess Bucky up? The thoughts circled your head, was he in an abusive relationship? Natasha looked like she didn’t know either, pouring more wine into her cup. 

When Bucky came back he sat closer to you and you couldn’t help but reach out and wrapped your arm around his. He must have been a little surprised but you rested your head on his shoulder and continued on like it was nothing. 

You were half asleep when Bucky tried to do something for Steve, maybe get him another beer but whatever it was it left Bucky looking like a sad puppy because Steve said, “Buck, relax, I can get my beers, thank you, but I got it, alright?”

Steve's tone was soft but also commanding, he wasn’t annoyed at all. With your eyes closed you pieced it together that Steve was trying to help Bucky in some way, maybe get him to relax a little more. It was out of love but Bucky was very quiet for the rest of the night. 

********

You and Bucky had started hanging out a lot more on your own. There were a lot of late night drives or study sessions, Bucky always came to the library to walk you home if you stayed late or had turned your brain into mush during your studying. 

What Steve had said stuck with you more than you thought it would, it didn’t impact how you saw Bucky but it made you more aware of his people pleasing tendencies. You wanted to do the same as Steve, tell him it was okay but you weren’t as close. You saw how hurt he was the last time and you just couldn’t do it to him. 

Currently you were both sitting on his bed, the movie was wrapping up. Half of his laptop sat on one thigh and the other half sat on Bucky’s, your arms were linked and there was a steady brushing of your thumb on his forearm. In all honesty, you thought you were lulling him to sleep when you looked up five minutes ago to see him fighting his dropping lids. 

When the movie faded to black both of you sat there for a moment, content with the sitcom that was coming up next. You looked up again to see him with his face scrunched up, his other hand was on his back. 

“What is it?” you asked and leaned over, he was rubbing a specific spot on his lower back with his thumb. 

Bucky held his breath as he leaned forward to move his hand, “I was working out this morning and there weren't any belts left for my deadlifts and I did something to my back.”

“Do you want a massage?” you offered, he’d do the same for you. 

“I’m okay, thanks,” he looked down at your head resting on his bicep. 

“I didn’t know you worked out,” you smiled, “you don’t have the, like, bodybuilder physique.”

Bucky laughed and wiped at his eyes, giggling to himself before answering. “I don’t want that look, but…” you could see the boast on the top of his tongue, he poked his tongue on the inside of his cheek. 

“Tell me!” you sat up, taking the laptop off your lap so you could fully face him now, “are you, like, ripped or something?” you both laughed as he hugged himself so you couldn’t feel or see anything, “you are, shut up!” you placed both hands on his shoulders, his face so red from laughing and embarrassment you just wanted to take a bite out of it. 

“Steve calls it a sleeper build,” Bucky managed to wheeze out, he was trying to play-fight you off of him. 

“What the fuck is that?!” you gasped as your hands reached out but he copied you and intertwined his fingers with yours. 

“It’s when someone has muscle but you can’t really see it in normal clothing,” his face was calming down as well, but that stupid smile was still on his face. “It just kinda happened, just how I am.”

You tried to move his arms around but you couldn’t, his fingers were still tightly woven with yours. You just laughed and fell back into him, cuddling up again. “I had a friend's mom who was an actual masseuse, so…” you shrugged, “I actually know what I’m doing because she’d give me massages and walk me through her process.”

“You just want to take my shirt off, don’t you?” Bucky taunted. 

“I want to make sure you’re not uncomfortable the entire time we hang out and for the rest of the week,” you giggled before snuggling into his arm again and watching the show that had come on randomly. 

It took three days before Bucky came back for that massage. 

You were hanging out again like normal and he was still trying to relieve the ache in his lower back. It was becoming sad to see him so uncomfortable so you kept reminding him of your excellent massage skills. After what you counted as his third groan of pain you just looked at him and soon enough he was asking you to turn around so he could take his shirt off and lie down. 

Choosing your angle to stand with your back to him was a science, you wanted to make sure you had the mirror to look at but you also didn’t want to make it obvious. Part of you hated yourself for wanting to catch and peek at his body but it was infamous now, you just had to look. 

And my god was it worth it. 

It wasn't an obnoxious amount of muscle that made it seem like the strength drained from his brain and into his arms. The sleeper build comment was right, you had no idea. His chest made you feel comfortable and protected, the kind of chest you’d want to fall into when the subway starts up too quick and you’re not holding onto anything. His arms were, and you already knew this, amazing at covering so much surface area for hugs. They were secure and trustworthy, you knew that when you hugged him he had you; it also helped to remember when he’d whisper it in your ear. 

“Okay,” his voice was muffled by pillows at the top of your bed. 

You turned around and were greeted by his back which was also an amazing sight, the kind of body sculptors would use and their go-to subject if no one else was there. “I have some lotion on my hands,” you warned and pressed your palms onto his back and quickly began spreading the lotion around. 

Though this wasn’t a proper table and he was resting on one cheek instead of face down you knew this was the best he’d get for a college kid. You started all over and slowly worked your way to focusing on his lower back. When you felt the knot you knew you found it, the thing was massive. The low groan Bucky let out was close to pornographic as you dug into him. 

Something about seeing him grip the sheets, making his veins pop out, did something to you. At first you only really saw Bucky as another friend or a good member of the friend group you stumbled your way into. But the more you spent one-on-one the more you realized he was your perfect guy. Any guy can be perfect physically but his personality enhanced your view for him, it made you appreciate his looks even more. 

His laugh always brought out the crinkle in his nose and those pretty teeth, the sound of him giggling was music to your ears and also was the perfect accompaniment to his squinted eyes or broad smile. The same with his little fist pumps he does when beating you at a game either around a group of friends of a video game, that stupid celebration he does every time causes him to flex his bicep but that’s secondary to the little circles he makes with his fist.  

You kept working away and looking at his rested face once in a while, seeing his eyes closed and the relieved look on his face. There was something so pure about watching the guy your slowly obsession over fall into simple relaxation all because of you, it was a treat. 

“How’s that?” you whisper, “Bucky?” trying to make sure your pressure wasn’t too hard for him you wanted to check in, but he had fallen asleep. With the opportunity in front of you, you reached out and placed your bent knuckles along his cheek, feeling the stubble tickle your fingers. 

You found him blanket on his bed and covered him up so he wouldn’t get cold with his shirt off, before leaving you placed a kiss on his forehead before heading downstairs for a snack. You also wanted to give him space, let him sleep peacefully. 

Steve was down there when you got there, another roommate of his cooking as you found Bucky’s section of snacks to choose from. 

“Where’s Bucky?” Steve asked as he looked over his shoulder, not for long due to the football playing on the TV. 

“Sleeping upstairs,” you ate the goldfish as you rounded the couch to watch the game. 

He seemed taken aback at your casualness, “what did you guys do…?” he slowly looked over, most likely trying to see if your hair was disheveled or anything was blossoming on your neck. 

“I gave him a massage,” you shrugged and fell back onto the couch, “his lower back has been killing from his workout a while ago.” 

You could see Steve look over his shoulder to see if his roommate was also hearing this, he looked over at you again and squinted. “So- and correct me if I’m wrong here- you gave Bucky a massage and put him to sleep and now you’re down here getting a snack?” 

“You would be correct,” you smiled, “would you like to do a once over of my neck for hickies or maybe rummage through the trash for condoms?” you sassed and plopped a few more goldfish in your mouth, “I was helping him.” 

That statement made Steve look over his shoulder again. The roommate just shrugged with a smile before heading down to his room in the basement, noodles steaming from the cup. You just looked at Steve as he tried to piece together everything, it was actually funny to see him try to understand. 

“Bucky doesn’t accept help from anyone,” Steve turned to face you, “it’s his thing to never want to be in debt with anyone when it comes to favours of any sort.” 

“Well,” you just sighed, “I’ve been picking up on that too but I got to him I guess, he let me do something for him.” That was all you could say because you didn’t have a full background of why Bucky didn’t accept help from anyone you just knew he didn’t; the only clues you had were Winnie and her role in this. 

“That’s good,” Steve quickly added, “I’m far from saying it’s bad, trust me, it’s just he’s been in a funk for a while when it comes to that stuff, it ebbs and flows.” 

“Do you think he’ll ever tell me?” you asked as you watched the game, too embarrassed of the question to look at Steve. It seemed there was this vital piece of information that made Bucky who he was that was dangling right in front of your face, you were falling for him but that thing that made him him was out of reach. When Steve first made the statement he siad that this Winnie girl fucked him up which implied something bad much have happened and that can also mean something isn’t necessarily right. You were never going to fix Bucky but you did want to understand so you could help be a better friend to him and not unconsciously get in the way of his mindset. 

Steve nodded, “he’ll definitely tell you,” he looked over and smiled, “I mean, you’re all he ever talks about, this kid is head over heels for you  it’s just…some guys have hard times coming to terms with their past, he’ll get there though.” 

“I know,” you nodded, “I’ll obviously never force it out but I do want him to be aware I’m here to listen, y’know?” 

“He knows,” Steve laughed and stood up, going to the cupboard and grabbing a little snack for himself as well. 

You took a deep breath before standing up and heading back upstairs, you were guessing Bucky was still fast asleep. When you opened the door you found him still laying on his bed in the exact same position, only now there was little snores coming from him. 

With a pout you crawled back onto the bed and sat next to him, placing your hand on his back and sliding it down to his arm that was bent up so his hands could rest under the pillow. Your thumb gently rubbed his arm for a moment before pulling out your phone and scrolling through it. 

The boredom ate away at you, instead of scrolling through your phone you went to his dresser to find some clothes you could change into so you could crawl under his sheets and sleep over. When you pulled open his top drawer you were met with his underwear and socks as well as a box of condoms tucked to the side, you just giggled to yourself at the painfully college male sight in front of you. 

Something about wearing his boxers made your face heat up, that was a level of intimacy you wanted to reach with him one day but you didn’t know if it was time. Looking over your shoulder after a particularly loud snore you smiled to yourself and picked up a black pair, as you held it up you remember seeing the waistband sticking out of his jeans while he reached above his head to grab something for someone - you weren’t focused on his actions at the time. 

Quickly slipping your pants off and pulling up the boxers you maneuvered to his closet, finding your favourite hoodie he wore very often. This moment of intimacy, moving around Bucky’s room while he wasn’t aware, caused a surge of confidence to shoot through you. Though you had never talked to Bucky about what the relationship between you was, you knew both of you could agree there was no room for girlfriends or boyfriends for either of you, this was the time to build the foundation for something better later. Having this idea of only being the girl in his room you took off your bralette and tucked it back in his top drawer, across from the condoms.

You didn’t choose this bra specifically but you were wearing a slightly lacey bralette, it was far from lingerie but the lace added something to it. Making sure you put it where it wouldn’t be obvious but also not hiding it, you grew giddy at the image of Bucky finding it. 

Before getting in his bed you tugged and tugged the sheets under his body before managing to get the covers fully out from under him. You scooted in and pulled the sheets up to cover both of you, it seemed he really needed the sleep because nothing was waking him up, not even the little hug you gave him before turning off the lights and falling asleep beside him. 

********

You were sitting in class aimlessly scrolling through your phone during your five minute break in your lesson, your art history professor was one of the best teachers you've ever had. She was funny but also well informed, she also had a big heart and didn’t need a eulogy as a form of proof if someone asked for an extension due to a funeral service that day. 

Bucky: What the hell is in my dresser? 

Without knowing the tone or context your heart dropped. You read the text with Bucky’s voice as if he was screaming at you, a hint of embarrassment in his tone. It was in your head, you didn’t know if it was a flirty tone either. 

You: Just my bra, when I stayed over a couple of nights ago I changed into your clothes and just absentmindedly put my bra in your top drawer. I probably was just going through the motions and thought I was at my place. 

Bucky: Can I pick you up from class, when does your lecture end?

Something about him completely disregarding your explanation - lie or not - gave you the worst feeling in the world. Ice poured down your back as you watched your prof make her way back up to the little stage she teaches on, you couldn’t keep the conversation going and just needed to deal with it later. 

You: sure, it ends in an hour. 

Bucky: I’ll be there. 

Part of you didn’t want to leave when your lecture was over, you stayed in the hallway for a moment and thought of every single end of the world situation that could happen in the car. Bucky didn’t seem like a guy who hit women but your anxiety didn’t let you leave out that thought. He also didn’t seem like the guy who’d reveal he’d been dating another girl the entire time but who knows, he could be in a three year long relationship as you stood there. 

With all these terrible situations playing out in your head you decided to face it head on, you’d walk in there and wouldn’t let him talk; just saying your apologies with your eyes closed before he could get a word out. 

You walked down the steps and to the right to find Bucky’s car parked in front, coming up in the blindspot. You took a moment to take a deep breath, opening the door and sitting down as quickly as possible. 

“Do you-”

“Bucky,” you put your hand out but kept your eyes casted down, “I am so unbelievably sorry if I made you uncomfortable, I don’t know if you already have a girlfriend and she found it and it caused a rift in your relationship, or if you like to sleep with other girls and one of them found the bra and got jealous so you lost your credit. I don’t know what made you angry but please, I am so sorry for what I did, I wasn’t thinking and I just put it in there and I-...” you just held your mouth open as you looked at the center console, you had run out of things to say. “Um,” you slowly looked up to see him frozen in shock, mouth still slightly open from when he began to say something, “sorry, you were about to say something?” 

Bucky had to physically rattle his head to get out of the shock he was in, “do you want to get some coffee?” 

Your eyes flicked up and it was your turn to stay frozen, “what?” 

Bucky pulled his brows together, “I was making a joke about the bra thing,” he seemed concerned at your extremely anxious state, “I don’t care what you leave at my place, I really don’t,” normally someone would laugh in awkward situations but Bucky didn’t, it felt like it made everything worse. “Do you want coffee?” 

“What is going on?” you couldn’t believe the situation you had put yourself in, nothing was making sense. 

“Don’t get all mad at me,” now it was time for him to scoff, “you’re the one that thought I was sleeping with multiple women while I’m actively pursuing you, you idiot.” 

“Don’t call me an idiot,” you huffed and faced the front of the car, crossing your arms after putting on your seatbelt. 

Bucky laughed as he reached over and turned your face so you’d look at him, “that’s what you took from that statement?” He giggled, “babe, I just said I was pursuing you, does that just fly over your head?” 

“Wait, what?” you grew more interested, “you want to date me?” 

Bucky nodded, “have I not made it obvious?” You just shrugged and began to feel small, curling yourself further into the seat of his car, “I would like to take you out and I would like to continue to collect little pieces of you at my place while doing the same to yours, does that make sense?” 

“Then what were those condoms for?” 

“The same reason our house keeps tampons in our main bathroom,” Bucky put the car in drive and began working towards to coffee shop, “if you ever need a tampon you go and grab one, if Steve ever needs a condom and he’s out of stock in his room he comes to me,” Bucky looked at you at the stop light. 

“Oh,” was all you could say. 

“But let me get a few things straight,” Bucky placed his hand on your thigh, “I’m not sleeping with other girls, I do not have a secret girlfriend, I am not mad you left your bra in my dresser and I tried to make the text seem flirty, and finally,” he went at the green, “I really like you and I would like you to be my girl whenever we get there.” 

“Okay,” you whispered, “I’d like that too.” 

“Then it’s settled,” it was a short drive to the cafe, “let’s celebrate over coffee, shall we?” 

You looked down at his hand on your thigh, “yeah, we shall.” 

********

Your body felt like it was floating, your legs tingled and it was hard to catch your breath. As you laid on your back with your hands on your bare stomach Bucky worked his way back up from between your legs while leaving kisses on your hip bones as well as your stomach when you lifted your hands. 

“How was that?” Bucky asked breathlessly, licking his lips before kissing you. 

You kept your answer waiting, probably because he knew it already, kissing him slowly as he wanted. He was fully in control right now, setting the pace and tone of this entire afternoon. When he pulled away for a moment you complimented him like always, your hands reached up to his shoulders and tried to push him to lay on his back but he stayed strong. 

“Flip over,” you whispered and ran your hands down his chiseled stomach, working your way up to his shoulders as your fingernails raked up his back. 

“I’m all good,” he shrugged. 

“But you’re painfully hard,” you tried again to get him to move but he just fell beside you on his stomach, not allowing you to touch him where he was in fact, extremely hard. “Come on, you always do this.” 

“Don’t worry about it,” he smiled and pulled you down with him. 

“I just want to do something nice for you, you never let me do anything for you or give you any favours,” in your head it seemed like a normal observation, it was true that Bucky didn’t let anyone do anything for him while he actively tried to help everyone in anyway he knew how. 

That seemingly struck a nerve, “alright then,” he sighed and got up from the bed, heading into the bathroom as he left you naked and alone on his bed, the most lonesome feelings in the world. 

“Where are you going?” you sat up, grabbing your shirt from the edge of the bed. 

“Going to go jerk off in the shower,” he said as he closed the door. 

“You can’t be serious,” you quickly stood and made your way to the bathroom that was connected to his room. You opened the door to see him already adjusting the tap before starting the shower. “Bucky, it’s the truth, it’s who you are but it’s the truth and as your girlfriend I want you to feel good, I want to give you pleasure like you do to me.” 

You reached forward and placed your hands on his back, slowly working your way to his shoulders so you could turn him around. There looked like shame had overtaken him as he stood before you, though he was larger in size he shrunk himself down to look small. His mouth opened and closed a couple of times, he didn’t know what to say. 

“If I can’t give you head then can I come in the shower and wash your hair?” you didn’t even put on the shirt you grabbed, it was dropped to the floor. “Come on, honey, it’ll feel so good.” 

Bucky only nodded before stepping into the hot shower with you. You made sure he got most of the stream on him, you stayed in front and made sure his hair was soaked before getting any product. You could see his tenseness at first but the moment your hands made contact with his scalp his eyes rolled back, his shoulders relaxed. In that moment it occurred to you that you had actually never seen his relaxed state before. 

“Doesn’t this feel good?” you whispered, making sure you used your nails to really cleanse his scalp. “Doesn’t letting yourself relax and breathe feel so good, Buck?” 

“Yeah,” it came out quiet and broken. 

Your eyes were focused on his hair the entire time, making sure you lathered up and took your time. You needed to savor this moment for both you and Bucky, you wanted him to be relaxed for a s long as possible as well as taking advantage of doing him a favour; never knowing when your next opportunity would come up. 

Gently tapped his forehead, you got him to lean back. The water immediately took off the top layer of suds but you needed to rub out the deeper layers as well. Your fingers scrubbed until the trail of water rolling down his body was pure water and had no shampoo in it. 

“I’m going to- oh, my gosh Bucky,” you reached out and saw his red eyes, “when did you start crying?” 

“I can’t remember,” he whispered and tilted his head down, the water pushed his hair to cover his eyes. 

You pushed his hair back and pulled him out a step further so the water hit his back, your thumbs quickly wiped away a mixture of water and tears off of his face. He couldn’t stop crying as you tried your best to keep his face clear, “honey, what’s wrong?” 

“I-” he choked on his own words, “I’ve never let my guard down this much,” he admitted before breaking off into harder sobs, you swooped in and pulled him tightly against your chest. 

“I know it’s a new feeling,” you whispered, “but I want you to be able to do this all the time, let your guard down around me,” it was a shot in the dark by saying this but you did it anyways, “I promise I won’t hurt you, I’ll never take advantage of your guard down, love.” 

It must have struck something because his knees buckled, his hands gripped tighter as he desperately kept you close to him. You didn’t know if you were making him feel better or worse but the act of letting go was needed for him, you kept holding him until there was nothing left to cry. 

When he pulled away he stayed close, close enough that you kissed him under the gentle rain of the shower and played with his hair at the base of his scalp. His hands stayed on your back and held you close to him, making sure you were always touching him in some way. You tried to get a good read on him but he kept his head low and gently ran his hands up and down your sides, just feeling you. 

“You’re very safe,” you whispered. 

Bucky looked up at you for a moment before keeping his eyes down for a while, his brows pulled together and it seemed like he was trying to say something but didn’t know how. Both of you were open and vulnerable, naked in the hot shower. Tears threatened to spill over at the picture of Bucky crying in front of you. 

“It was my mom,” Bucky whispered, “the one who broke me-”

“You’re not broken,” you quickly corrected, cupping his face and stroking his cheek with your thumb, “don’t say that.” 

Bucky just shrugged, “I’m the oldest, I have four sisters younger than me - all different dads.” Bucky took a deep breath and pulled you closer, “my mom…Winnie was an interesting woman who never wanted to be pregnant but somehow always ended up pregnant anyways, it also didn’t help none of the guys wanted to stick around.” 

You wrapped your arms around his neck, giving him the easy opportunity to hug you if he needed to. Nodding along, you encouraged him to keep going. 

“When my mom realized I could do the dirty work she would take advantage of that. I basically raised my sisters and somehow she managed to worm into my head,” he let out an angry laugh, “she’d say she loved me if I did things for her and I was a bad boy if I couldn’t or wouldn’t help her, she would say I didn’t love her if I didn’t change my sister’s diapers or bathe them while she sat on the couch.” 

“Bucky,” you were the one to instigate the hug, “that’s awful.” 

“And I’m aware of how I act now, all I’ve ever known is helping other people to make sure they love me,” he laughed again, “and it sounds stupid but I can never break out of the cycle, I always think I’m doing a good job or not being overbearing but then I start to second guess myself, you know?” he pulled away and looked at you, you quickly nodded. “I start to think about what people are saying behind my back and so I keep doing what I’m doing to stay on the safe side, I know it’s fucking annoying but I can’t help it.” 

“It’s not annoying, baby” you leaned past him and turned off the water as it grew cold, “and if you’ll let me I can help with that, I don’t want to fix you or change you, I just want you to be comfortable in this relationship and not think I’m secretly mad at you because you didn’t get me a glass of water.” 

Bucky nodded, stepped out of the shower with you and grabbed two towels. The conversation had naturally ended, Bucky didn’t have anything else to say. It was hard not to think he was overthinking again, the idea that you were causing him to stress out stressed you out. You were being truthful when you said you wanted him to be relaxed in this relationship, the last thing you wanted was underlying tension. 

Back in bed Bucky rolled over and cuddled into your breasts, holding you closely as you watched his head rise with your breath. You had no idea if he was asleep or not, you knew he wouldn’t mind either way if you played with his hair. 

“Thank you,” was all he whispered before falling asleep. 

********

You all sat around the couch to watch another big game. Though you had no idea what was going on you were just as into it as Steve. Half time had just started and you all took a collective breath, the two college teams were close. 

“Want another beer?” you asked as you stood up, looking at Bucky who was sitting on the couch. Steve and Nat had already filled up, you wanted another cooler and Bucky was almost done. 

“Yeah,” he quickly downed his final sip of beer before handing the bottle off to you. 

There was this anticipation in the room, you smiled and took the bottle and walked past Steve who was already looking at Bucky. The room seemed still when Bucky didn’t move, just pulling out his phone to look at something while the commercials played. Before making it into the kitchen you looked over your shoulder and saw the back of Bucky’s head, you bit your lip to suppress the smile that was growing. 

The moment you got back and sat next to him Bucky took your hand and pulled it into his lap. He fidgeted with your finger before looking over at you, “how’d I do?” he whispered. 

You laughed and leaned into his side, “how much did that make your cringe?” 

“I was in pain for a moment,” he answered as fast as possible before giggling with you as you clink your glasses together and take a long swing. With a deep breath he looked back at the game and kept your hand in his. Bucky must have not been paying attention but his phone buzzed, illuminating and accidentally showing his lockscreen. 

It changed from the photo of the two of you to a black background with white writing on it: 

Trust me, she’s not mad at you.

********

Thanks for reading, feel free to reblog and tell me what you think!

Taglist: @jackiehollanderr​ @tylard-blog1​ @readingbooksanddrinkingtea-blog​ @linzc-reader​ @hotleaf-juice​ @honeybunchesofbucky​ @seybox​ @yaszx​ @happyt0exist​ @striving4averagegirl​ @searchf0rtheskyline​ @aya-fay​ @wbyss​ @luvrsbian​ @albertdabuttler​

[cottonlemonade]

Help Wanted

word count: 656 || avg. reading time: 3 mins.

pairing: University AU!Tendou x chubby!Reader

genre: smut

warnings: mdni, nsfw

Tendou would have liked to say that he was a gentleman. But when you showed up in his dorm room and announced that you were sick and tired of being labeled the campus virgin and begged your best friend to just have sex with you, Tendou didn’t actually hesitate for more than three seconds before shrugging and saying, “Alright.”, making room for you on his bed.

His roommate blinked at the two of you before packing up his laptop and mumbling something about “going to study at the library then”.

He knew he should have maybe talked you out of it but his mind was too busy screaming at the opportunity. He figured, he’d casually invite you for coffee afterwards in the cafeteria or maybe order a pizza and then confess to you over some melty cheese that he’s been in love with you since that time you used red hair spray to dye your hair, just so you could raise your hand for him at roll call while he was busy finishing up a paper in the library at the last minute. You had worn one of his hoodies (a new one he bought several sizes too big just so he could lend it to you without you commenting that his stuff wouldn’t fit you) and his roommate had walked in on him sniffing the collar with deep deep breaths.

And now he lay between your plush thighs, heart pounding, licking his lips in anticipation as he peeled your panties aside. You’re still wearing a shirt which he found unfortunate but there was no rush.

Before he began, he stressed how important it was to ease into it. He didn’t want to hurt you, of course, so he thought, good long foreplay and maybe making you cum first would be a good idea.

He leaned in and set a couple soft kisses on your soft pussy. You gasped and tried to close your legs with him still at work. He looked up at you, asking if you want to stop. Wordlessly, you just opened your legs again and he grinned, swiping his tongue through the folds.

“You taste sweet…”, he commented and you hid your face under your arms but moaned when he used his fingers to expose your clit.

Wanting to make it a more interactive learning experience he brought his right index to your lips, “Can you wet that for me?”

You hesitate for a moment, peaking out from under your chubby arms and then because you really needed to him to continue, sucked it into your mouth.

“Mmmh, I can only imagine what those lips would do to a cock. But we can do that next time.”

Bringing his slick finger down to him, he began ghosting it over your clit. The noises falling from your lips had him throb in his boxers. Tendou increased the pressure ever so slightly, pushing the little pink button to the left and right, watching happily now wet you already became. He slurped loudly, enjoying every drop of you like the first iced tea of the summer.

“I’m gonna put a finger into you now.”, he announced and your expression, already so deliciously dazed, changed to new excitement. You gave a small nod and he slowly pushed into you, stroking your gummy walls.

“You’re so cute… I’m gonna put a second finger in, okay?”

You nod again. This time, he decided to tease a bit.

“You gotta talk to me, gorgeous.”

“Yes, please put a second finger in.”, you replied breathily and moaned loudly when he started to move them in and out.

“Now, I wonder what would happen if I’d suck your little clit now, too. - What do you think would happen?”

“I’d…. You’d make me cum.”, you said quietly, a definite whine in your voice.

“That sounds like fun. Let’s do that, hm? Let’s make you cream on my fingers.”

[forhappysake]

Fluffy Surprise

Author's Note: Not proofread and the first fic I've written in like six months so read if you dareeee

Summary: Reader decides to give Spencer a present when he returns to their new home.

Warnings: People with cat allergies, beware! (?) Fluff ofc.

You moved into the new house two weeks ago.  Technically, you moved all your stuff into the new house two weeks ago. In boxes. Lots and lots of heavy boxes.

Spencer had come up with a system, labeling each box with the room it would go into at the new house. You had worked together to pack everything, label each box, and unload the boxes into your new home. 

And it seemed like the moment he set the last box down and you were ready to start setting the place up, his phone rang. 

Spencer had been gone for one week. 

The case was halfway across the country, somewhere in Santa Fe. You couldn’t exactly be mad at him for being gone, but unpacking and trying to organize everything without his input was a nightmare. You were finishing the last box in your shared bedroom, carefully placing his clothes on wooden hangers and organizing them in the closet, when your phone rang. 

Spencer’s name lit up the screen. You answered quickly. 

“Hi, Spence,” you said, plopping down on the freshly made bed.

You could tell how tired he was from the long pause he took before responding. “Hey, honey. How’s the unpacking?” he asked with a small sigh. 

You frowned to yourself, worried about how tired he sounded. “Oh, it’s alright. I’d like you to look through all the rooms when you get home, just to make sure everything is where it should be.” You let out a soft laugh, “I also had a hard time hanging up all the pictures and paintings without you, so we may have to straighten some of them up when you get back.” 

Another pause followed, though this time you could envision him nodding to himself. “We can do that,” he said. “I’m sorry you had to do it all by yourself. I promise I’ll find a way to make it up to you.” 

You rolled your eyes. “It was fine, Spencer. Besides, I’m pretty sure chasing a serial killer or something gives you an excuse.” 

He sighed on the other end of the line. “That’s what I wanted to talk about. We caught the unsub this evening. I’m hoping to be home late this evening, but it probably won’t be until after you go to bed.”

You smiled, content with the thought of him coming home to your freshly decorated home. “Oh, I’ll be staying up. I want to see your reaction to the place.”

“Alright,” he said, clearly too tired to urge you to go to bed instead with a list of facts about the health benefits of a good night’s sleep. 

You sighed. “As much as I'd love to stay and chat, I’ve got about fifteen more boxes to go.” 

“I understand. I should probably get some work done, too. Files, reports, you know how it is,” his voice was barely a whisper now, the exhaustion beginning to get the better of him. 

“Don’t work too hard, Spence,” you cautioned. “I’ll see you tomorrow night. I love you.”

“I won’t. I love you too,” he answered. The end of his line promptly went dead.

You looked around the bedroom, discarding your phone on the bed. You couldn’t help but wonder if there was something you could do to make Spencer’s return home a bit more special. 

You sat up and leaned over, furrowing your brow and resting your head in the palm of your hand as you tried to think of things Spencer liked. Of course, Spencer liked a lot of things. He liked sweet coffee, puzzles, and a classic novel in some foreign language you couldn’t comprehend. 

None of those things were overly special, in your mind. As you sat and wracked your brain, a thought finally came to you. 

One month ago, walking by a local cat cafe, Spencer spotted the most beautiful calico. She had fluffy hair, one black ear, one orange. Her little paws were white and she was so well mannered. Spencer and yourself had gone in immediately and he had spent your time inside doting on the calico, whose name, you learned, was Calypso. 

You bolted up from the bed and out into the living room, finding your purse sitting among the unpacked boxes. You shot out to the car, and without a second thought, drove the ten minutes to the cat cafe. 

You said a silent prayer that the cat was still available as you pulled into a parking space across the street. As if on cue, you looked up to see the same cat lounging lazily in the window sill, green eyes poised on you. 

The adoption process was quick, quicker than you anticipated. Fifty dollars later, you were on the road with Calypso in the passenger seat, sitting demurely in the carrier the shelter had provided you with to take her home in. 

On the way home you had to stop at PetSmart to pick up a litter box, a few toys, and a scratching post with the hope that your new furry friend would not decimate your new furniture. Calypso remained in the carrier, watching quietly from the shopping cart as you agonized over which treats to get. 

Soon enough, you were on your way home. The moment you walked through the front door, you set the carrier down and allowed Calypso to wander free. She was tentative at first, gently sniffing the floor and getting the feel for her new surroundings. However, after ten minutes, she perched herself on the kitchen counter, looking quite like the queen of her own castle. 

You took this chance to open her new toys and scatter them about the house, as well as find a secluded corner for her litterbox.

For the rest of the day, the cat watched you unpack boxes. Beady green eyes noting your movements until you disappeared from her sight. Occasionally, if you left the room for too long, you would turn to find that she had followed you. In these moments, you would stop to offer her a gentle petting and giggle as she flopped down on the floor, furry belly up to the sky. 

It was six hours after his phone call that Spencer arrived at home. 

2:19 a.m. was the time on your watch when you heard the lock turn and rose to greet him at the door. Calypso, seated in the corner of the room on a side table, perked her ears up at the new noise coming from the entrance. 

Spencer locked the door behind him and turned to face you, reaching out and pulling you in for a long hug. 

You rubbed your hands up and down his back. “Are you happy to be home?” you asked, your voice muffled by his shoulder. 

“You have no idea,” he said. He pulled away only to examine the living room. Spencer nodded in approval. “It looks really good in here. You did a great job.”

You smiled warmly, nerves settling in your stomach as you realized he’d not yet noticed the cat in the corner of the room, who was still watching him with suspicious eyes. 

“Spencer, I have to tell you something,” you said, wanting to explain yourself for doing something as impulsive as adopting a cat while he was away. 

His face suddenly became very serious. “What is it? Did something happen while I was gone? Are you alright?” 

The questions came quickly and you shook your head to reassure him. “No, Spencer, it’s nothing bad. Here, come look.” You grabbed his hand and pulled him forward until the two of you were standing behind your couch in the middle of the living room. 

“Look around,” you said. 

Spencer’s tired eyes traversed the room. You watched as they landed on paintings, the television, the clock, and nearly everything but the cat who sat entirely still in the corner. 

“I don’t understand,” he said, brow furrowed. “Did you make some major change I don’t know about? If you did, I’m sure that it’s f-”

At that moment Calypso jumped off the side table. The soft thump that accompanied her landing on the floor was enough to stop Spencer in his tracks. Finally, you watched as the feline caught his eye. 

“You didn’t,” Spencer said, his voice barely above a whisper. His reaction wasn’t telling you much, and you were afraid that he was not pleased. 

You started trying to explain yourself. “Well, I knew that you had a long week. I wanted to do something special. I know how much you enjoyed spending time with her at the cafe and now that we have the space I figured…”

You trailed off. In the time you had spoken, Calypso had crossed the room, climbed the couch, and began butting her head up against Spencer’s hand. Panic was setting in. Why wasn’t he reacting? 

Just when you were about to push him to say something, you looked up to see a large grin plastered on his face. Spencer gently wrapped his arms around the cat and picked her up, holding her close and petting in between her ears. 

“This is the most thoughtful present ever. I love her,” he said. His excitement reminded you of a little child and pulled at your heartstrings in a way that could have made you cry. 

You sighed in relief. “I’m so glad.” 

With Calypso still draped over one arm, Spencer reached out for you, pulling you to his side. He planted a soft kiss on the top of your head. “Thank you so much. I love her. I love you,” he said, smile still evident on his face. 

“I love you too,” you said, turning to face Calypso, who looked all too content to be wrapped up in Spencer’s arms. 

“I think she’s trying to steal my man,” you joked, nudging Spencer on the side. 

Spencer laughed. “I don’t think you have to worry too much about that. My heart has room for two lovely ladies.”

[finxwrites]

strange & grimm, which btw sounds like an urban fantasy affectionately parodic hardboiled detective agency. probably queer.

It was a hot, muggy night in the Enchanted Forest. Everyone with a lick of sense was down in the fairy glens, hoping the Winter Court would put in an appearance and bring a breeze on with them. Lucky me, I’m the sucker who fingered the Snow Queen for the missing persons case last winter, so I’m persona non grata in the fairy glens these days.

Just as well. I couldn’t afford to leave the office, not when it’d been so long since my last case. Though on a night like this, I might as well not bother. It was too hot for crime. Even the leaves on the enchanted trees were drooping in the heat. 

I was just about to call it a night when a dame walked in my door. Tall, blonde, legs for days, with an air of tragedy that could put an unloved stepchild to shame. I looked her over suspiciously for any cheery woodland creatures hidden in her golden ringlets. If she was a princess, I’d turf her right back out of the office, case unheard. Princesses paid well, but they were more trouble than they were worth.

No mice poked their adorable little noses out of her pockets as the dame sank into a chair and fixed me with a hard look. “I hear you’re the best in the business,” she said without preamble. “And I need the best.”

I leaned back in my seat. “Baby, I’m the only one in the business. It’s not a good genre for private dicks.”

She rolled her eyes. “Oh, yes, far too child-friendly for any sort of dicks.” Before I could recover from that little gem, she went on, “It’s a child I’m here about. My sister. She’s…she’s gone missing.” She took a deep, shuddering breath. “Please, Detective, you’re my last hope. The royal courts won’t hear me out, they think she’s gone on the lam!”

I nodded grimly. “One of those Bo Peep situations, huh?” I get a depressing number of those. All it takes is one wolf in sheep’s clothing—you’d think the kids would learn.

The dame glared. There was enough cold iron in her gaze to put a fairy off her ambrosia. “On the lam, Detective. On the run. My sister has…something of a record.”

I raised my eyebrows. “Your sister the child? She some kind of crime prodigy?”

The dame fidgeted, looking away. “She’s…” She sighed explosively. “My sister is Goldilocks.”

I whistled, low and long. Crime prodigy indeed—Goldilocks was wanted in five kingdoms for the most impressive string of burglaries the Enchanted Forest had ever seen. No one could ever prove she’d done it, but the circumstantial evidence had piled up higher than mattresses on a pea. No wonder no royal court would take this case.

The dame’s shoulders hunched defensively, but she bulled on without trying to defend her wayward sister. “She’s gone missing, and I know it’s not another one of her sprees. Something is wrong this time.” She turned back to meet my eyes, her lovely features harsh with poorly-suppressed fear. “It’s her first crime come back to haunt her, I just know it is. They’ve always wanted revenge—especially the baby of the family, and he’s all grown up now. What they’d do if they got hold of her—“ She cut herself off with a watery gasp; her eyes were wet with tears. “Oh, it doesn’t bear thinking about!”

I handed her a handkerchief and gave her a minute to compose herself. It gave me a minute, too, to decide if I was really going to be this stupid. You don’t tangle with the big predators, not if you know what’s good for you, and especially not a whole family of them. Families are a dangerous thing in any genre.

But I was her last hope, and I’m a sucker for lost causes. And if I didn’t get paid soon, this business would become a lost cause itself. I said a silent farewell to my good sense as it packed its bags and left for kinder climes. “Alright,” I told the dame, “Give me the facts. We’ll see what kind of a story they tell.”

[lovelyyandereaddictionpoint]

ur student council is so good it lives rent free in my mind!!!!! what’s a day in the life of darling like I wonder?

I'm glad you love it so much! 🖤🖤🖤

Day in The Life with the Yandere Student Council | Part 1

When you wake up from a late night of studying 

it feels like you weight your eyelids as you splash water on your face

Continuing your routine you get pretty far before you hear a knock on your single-bed dorm suite (a gift from the Student Council President)

“Hiya (Y/n) I figured I’d join you two on your walk to class, today! Happened to have a bit of extra time on my hands!”

“You just said you skipped that entire club’s morning activities for this.”

“Tomato Potato. You should know not to keep flapping that hole of yours. Especially since you’re not all that secretive, Spencer.”

“Roman.”

Spencer the Vice President of the council has become a fast friend of yours

Being as privy to the more sinister and malicious intentions of other students specifically the ones obsessed with the council

And Roman the Sergeant of Arms and arguably the most popular next to the president

A newer guest but you won’t complain because he gives you some breakfast fruit

“Uh thanks for walking me you guys and thanks for the fruit.”

“It’s cool it is our usual routine.”

“No problem, Babe! Next time you should just tell me what you’d want for breakfast I’ll make sure to keep it in the meeting room!”

It isn’t long before Roman is called over by some other students

Blowing a kiss before disappearing in the crowd

“Phew I thought he’d never leave! He’s such an extrovert I never expected he’d ever walk with us.”

“Well I’m sure being an extrovert doesn’t mean you forget all your friends. Don’t be so harsh.”

“You’ve only known him for so long. Just you wait he’ll turn into the annoying people magnet he is.”

Spencer drops you off at class

Hanging nearby until the class begins

He begrudgingly waves bye to you signing that he’ll see you for council work later

And for the next to classes things aren’t too bad 

Other than a droning lecture there’s nothing that happens that you aren’t expecting 

It’s in your third class that will change

“Sweet Pea have lunch with us!” 

“I made you lunch this time.”

It’s June the Historian and his boyfriend, Gill the Secretary 

entering the class without any concern for the professor

Of course no one said anything only watching as your protests are ignored by the duo

June will keep whining

And Gil will only respond with excitement about what he’s made

So you’ll sigh and pack your things hearing the class resume as you step out

“So? How’d that project turn out? I know you were working on it for a long time after we got off the phone.”

“I think it turned out pretty good. I’m hoping I can finally get some feedback.”

“You know they are required to give you an ‘A’ right? We made sure they did not have the option to do otherwise.”

“...I just want to try to be deserving of it...at least a little.”

“That’s so cute (Y/n)! Isn’t that cute Gill they think they need to try!”

“It is very cute.”

Begin your impromptu lunch perfectly catered to your preferences that you never shared

“Alright guys i really should go back the next class I have—”

“Will be waived, if your busy doing student council work! Come on hun, help us with our work. I promise it’ll be fun!”

“Then afterwards we can walk home together.”

“Home? Who’s home?”

“Oh Gilly that’s a great idea! We can make it a sleepover!”

“Guys!?”

Of course outnumbered and overpowered+ you end up in the student council room where you’ll happen upon Min Su the Treasurer and the illusive President Lucoa

Part 2: Is Here

[strniohoeee]

OUUUU A REQUEST!!!

SMUT enemies one bed troupe with chris! GOD ID GIVE YOU MY KIDNEY FOR IT

Vie

Pairing: Chris Sturniolo X Female Reader

Synopsis: Y/N hates Chris with every morsel in her body. They’re always fighting like children. Unfortunately one day her and Chris are stuck together for a 4 hour drive…..I wonder what happens 🗣️

Warnings⚠️: THIS IS SMUTTTTT, enemies to lovers ish, and just my favorite trope ever. This was long asf LMAOO, but I really loved writing it!🫶🏽

Song for the imagine: Friends- Chase Atlantic

⚠️This is an 18+ story, so minors do not interact, or do??⚠️

All of your friends have been here for too long

They must be waiting for you to move on (woo)

Girl, I'm not with it, I'm way too far gone

I was finishing packing for the trip I was going on with the triplets when my phone started to light up. I saw Nick calling me

“Heyyy” I said picking up the phone

“Hiii I’m so sorry to call last minute, but is there any way you could pick Chris up?” He asked

“Uhhh why do I have to pick him up?” I asked getting a bit annoyed

“Well he’s a fucking idiot and we thought he got in the back seat, but he packed his shit in the back seat and made it look like he was in there, so we drove off while he was in the shower” Nick said laughing

“Wow he really is an idiot” I said laughing

“Yeah and he was screaming at us over the phone, so would you be a doll and pick him up. I’ll literally pay you, so we don’t have to turn back around” Nick said

“Don’t worry about paying me I’ll get him, but just know if he pisses me off enough I’m leaving him on the side of the road to hike to Vegas alone” I said back

“That’s fine I completely understand it” he said laughing

“Alright I’m almost done packing. I’ll head out in a few and go get him” I said

“Perfect thank you! See you in Vegasssss” he said before hanging up

A four hour drive with Chris…..I needed a gun actually. I fucking hated this kid and he hated me. We kept our distance at all fucking times, so having to sit right next to him and endure his annoying childish behavior was starting to piss me off.

After about an hour of finishing packing and making sure I had everything. I drove over to the triplets house which was like another 30 minutes. I really liked making Chris wait. I know he was getting so impatient.

I pulled up to their house and texted Chris that I was here, about 5 minutes later he came strolling out.

“Did you lock the door” I yelled out to him after rolling my window down

“I’m not a child of course I did” he said rolling his eyes

“Mmm are you sure about that?” I asked him

Chris rolled his eyes and walked back to the house….he did in fact not lock the door.

“Just saved your ass” I said as he came back and hopped in the car

“Shut the fuck up” he replied slamming the door shut

“Awww what’s wrong” I asked putting the hotel in Vegas directions in and getting ready to drive off

“Well my dumbass brothers left without me, and then you take over an hour and a half to get to me” he said huffing out

“Well if you weren’t an idiot and didn’t pack the car making it seem like you were in there, they wouldn’t have left you” I said driving off

“Yeah whatever I don’t care” he said throwing his book bag to the back of the car

“Well we’re going to be driving together for 4 hours, and I’d like to not be stressed out. I want to listen to my music and have a nice drive” I said looking over at him

“Consider me invisible” he said lifting his hood up

“Oh I consider you invisible on the daily, so this shouldn’t be an issue” I said coming to a stop at a red light

“I’m trying to be on my best behavior because Nick and Matt already talked to me about being nice to you” he said huffing

“So sad they have to talk to their grown brother about being nice to me” I said giggling

“Shut up already” he said putting his shoes on my dashboard and bending his knees

“Are you fucking crazy get your shoes off my dashboard” I said smacking his legs

“Ow you bitch” he said dropping his legs and moving away

“Don’t call me that, and this isn’t your car so show some decorum” I said rolling my eyes

“Decorum…stop using big words” he said getting upset

“Just have respect for my shit” I said huffing out a breath of annoyance

We were an hour and a half in to our drive, and Chris was chewing his snacks like an animal, burping loudly, playing his videos at max volume, talking on the phone at max volume.

I was being very patient, but he was making my skin crawl with anger. My last straw happened when he skipped my songs until he landed on something he liked

“Uh no” I said smacking his hand away

“What?” He said laughing

“I can put up with the loud chewing, the obnoxious volume of your phone and the burping, but do not touch my fucking stereo” I said glancing over at him

“Your music is fucking ass” he said shrugging his shoulders

“Oh sorry I don’t want to listen to songs solely about fucking bitches and selling drugs” I said rolling my eyes

“That’s not the only music I listen to” he said

“Sure seems like it” I said

Chris reached over and changed the song again

“HANDS OFF IDIOT” I said getting annoyed

“YOUR MUSIC IS SHIT” he yelled back

“Should’ve brought your own headphones then” I said

“I did” he said

“So then where are they?” I asked him

“In my other bag” he said in a whisper

“YES in the other bag your dumbass packed in the other car ahaha now you have to listen to my music” I said laughing at him

“Yeah whatever” he said rolling his eyes

Chris reached over to skip to the next song

“DONT” I said sternly, he ignored me anyways and pressed next

“Don’t change this one I like it” I said putting the volume up as Thinkin Bout You by Frank Ocean started to play

“I like this song too” he said sitting back

“You like this song? Yeah right” I said laughing

“No I do I swear” he said

Chris and I sang along to the song. I can say in the three years that I’ve known Chris this was the most pleasant time we’ve ever shared, and who thought it would be over Frank Ocean. We even sang to each other in a joking way completely forgetting the hate we both share for one another.

We were now 2 and a half hours into our drive when suddenly traffic came to a complete stop.

“What the fuck?” I said looking at my google maps

Suddenly my google maps time went up another hour

“A fucking hour slow down?” Chris said with his jaw dropping

I called Nick to see where they were at.

“Hey where are yall at? We’re stuck in an hour slow down” I said

“Hey, we're a little over an hour away. We got stuck in that slow down half an hour ago but it was only 20 minutes it looked like a 8 car accident or some shit” he responded

“God damn I don’t know if I can sit in an hour slow down” I said

“See how long you can stick it out, and if not just get a hotel and meet us in the morning. I’ll talk to the front desk people in Vegas and see what I can do” he responded

“Okay yeah thanks” I said

We both hung up. We were sitting in stand still traffic for a good 25 minutes when Chris started to annoy me.

“I’m hungry and I have to pee” he whined

“Yeah me too, and you don’t see me complaining” I told him

“Maybe we should get a hotel room” he said

“Mmm or we can wait it out” I said

“I’m going to piss my pants in your car then” he shrugged his shoulders

“Can’t you hold it for another 35 minutes holy shit” I said getting annoyed

“No I can’t. That’s fine I’ll just hop out right now and whip my dick out and just pee infront of everyone” he said unbuckling his seat belt

“You’re not embarrassing me like that” I said stopping him

“Well then the choice is yours” he said smiling at me like an asshole

“Oh my god you’re insufferable fine, I’ll get off right here and find a hotel or some shit” I said

I drove to a gas station first filling up my tank while Chris ran in to pee and get more snacks. He got back in the car and I went inside to pee too.

I got back in the car, and drove to the nearby hotel google maps showed me. We both hopped out and walked in.

“Hi welcome in” the lady at the front desk said

“Hi, how are you?” I asked walking closer

“I’m good, checking in?” She asked

“Actually I was wondering if you guys had two rooms available, or at least a room with two beds” I asked her

“I can check, but I’m not so sure” she said

“That’s fine! There a bad slow down on the highway, so we figured we just pull off for the night” I said nodding at her

“Oh that sucks! Let me check for you” she responded again

I walked over to Chris and told him she was checking. We sat in silence while we waited for her to check the system

“Oh uh maam” she said calling me over

Chris and I walked over to her

“So we have a room, but it’s only one king size mattress” she said

“Only one bed?” I asked her my face dropping

“I’m afraid so” she said

“Are there any hotels nearby that might have two beds available?” Chris asked her

“Considering it’s a Friday night, many hotels are taken up” she said

“That’s alright we’ll take the room, and he’ll pay” I said nodding at her and patting Chris on the chest

He looked at me before titling his head and rolling his eyes.

I walked out to the car grabbing his book bag and my one suitcase.

We both went up to the room, and opened the door. Both sighing in defeat at the sight of one bed we’d have to share.

“I’m going to shower don’t destroy anything” I said to Chris

I grabbed my stuff out of my suitcase and showered. Once I was done Chris showered also.

I tried to stay on the little loveseat and far away from the bed because I did not want to share it with him.

“Movie?” He asked

“I’m sorry, was that English? Are you two years old” I said getting annoyed

“Do you want to watch a movie stupid” he asked rolling his eyes

“Sure doesn’t really matter to me” I said rolling my eyes

Chris and I sat on the bed far away from one another as we watched a movie and ate our snacks. We watched two more movies before we decided it was late enough and we should get to bed.

Chris and I had brushed our teeth, and I decided I would sleep curled up on the loveseat.

“The fuck are you doing?” He asked me

“Going to bed what does it look like moron” I said fluffing the pillow it

“It’s a huge bed big enough for the both of us to share, so put your pride aside and just come to the bed” he said

“No I’m good” I said letting my legs dangle off the edge of the seat and slouching down

“Suit yourself” he said laughing before shutting the lights off

About ten minutes later I really wished I pushed my ego aside and laid in that damn bed. My back was curved in such an awkward way, my legs becoming numb because they were dangling and my neck hurting from straining

“In pain I bet” I heard Chris say

“Says who” I spat back

“Says the fact you can’t stay still and you’re keeping me awake” he said

“Oh shut up” I said getting annoyed

“Just lay in the bed I’ll literally put my head on the opposite end” he said

“I’m not sleeping near your feet you sicko” I replied in a hushed yell

“Well then pick your poison” he said

I huffed standing up cracking my back and neck before snatching my pillow and throwing it on the empty side of the bed

I laid down allowing my back to be aligned and I let out a sigh of relief

“Isn’t it nice when you just shut up and listen to other people for once” Chris said in a whisper

“Stop talking to me and shut your eyes” I said back

He huffed out in annoyance and got silent.

I tried to fall asleep but my mind started racing. I was laying in bed with Chris only a foot away from me, he was shirtless and in his boxers…..my heart started to race a little bit

There’s no denying that Chris is attractive. It's just when he opens his mouth I want to smack him, but also kiss him?? I don’t know what I’m thinking it’s late

We both had full control of this situation…I mean I could make a move but would he go along with it? I can feel his body heat radiating off of him and my body started to ache with an unfamiliar feeling…..well a feeling I knew all too well, but this wasn’t a feeling I’ve ever had for Chris….

My throat kept running dry as I thought of all the possibilities that could happen had I just opened my mouth and told Chris I wanted to kiss him.

No! stand strong…..it’s late at night you don’t know what you’re thinking

“Why are you breathing so hard?” Chris asked me suddenly

“I thought you were asleep” I whispered back to him

“I’m trying too but you’re breathing like you just ran a race” he said back

“Sorry” was all I could whisper back

“No smart comment, I’m shocked” he said

I looked over at Chris only being able to see the silhouette of him, and I could tell he was facing towards me.

“I’m too tired for all that” I said back

“You’re acting weird” he said

“Am not” I said my breathing getting quicker

Chris suddenly reached over placing his left hand on my heart

“Why is your heart racing so fast” he asked

“Get off of me” I said pushing his hand away

“You’re a weirdo” he said

“You ever….you ever just think you’ve made the wrong mistake in life” I blurted out

“Woah deep talks with y/n” he said laughing

“Forget I said anything” I said rolling my eyes

“I’m kidding, yeah of course I do for some things” he replied back

“I feel that way, but uhh but about you” I whispered the last part

“What do you mean” he asks

“Laying here right now my heart is racing and my breathing is getting shallow. To know that you’re so close yet so far away, and that I can’t have you is messing with my head” I told him

“Who says you can’t have me?” He asks in a whisper

“Don’t mess with my head Chris” I said shaking my head

Chris pulled me to face him and only then could I really see some of his features.

“Would it be wrong to kiss you?” He asked me

“No” I whispered out breathlessly

Chris ghosted his lips over mine teasing me

“I thought you hated me?” He said

“I don’t know what I feel about you anymore” I said back

Chris rubbed his thumb on my cheek before connecting our lips in a long passionate kiss. A kiss that made all my hatred for him flutter away. This felt so wrong yet so right. Chris is not supposed to be mine, I’m supposed to despise him….but in this moment I simply can not

Pulling away we looking into each others eyes, our noses touching

“Would it be wrong to say I want more?” I asked him

“No” he whispered to me

“Chris I need you right now” I said running my hands up his toned arms and to his neck

Pulling him in to reconnect our lips as my hand ran through his hair

“God I hate that I don’t hate you” I said pulling away

“Why do you want to hate me?” He asks laughing lightly

“Because it’s easier to hate than to have this burning desire for someone” I said

“I suppose that’s true” he said

Chris leaned over allowing me to fall back on my back as he hovered over me. Leaving light kisses on my neck as he trailed his right hand up and down my body squeezing my hips

He reconnected our lips and slid his hands under my shirt cupping my breasts in his hands causing me to disconnect from the kiss to let out a small moan

I lifted up so he could remove my shirt for me and then reconnected our lips again. Slowly kissing my jawline and down to my neck leaving open mouth kisses down my chest and to the valley of my breasts

“Are you sure you want to do this?” He asked me

“Yeah Chris I do” I panted out

Chris kissed up the valley of my breasts and cupped my breast grabbing my left breast and swirling his tongue around my nipple

“Ohh” I moaned out lightly my fingers running through his hair

He moved over to my right breast doing the same thing. This action alone was making me so wet I began to shift under him and whimpering out

Chris kissed down my stomach kissing over my clothes pussy causing me to grip his hair and moan out his name

He came back up and helped me slip out of my underwear

Running his hands up my legs and to my thighs giving them a squeeze

“Please Chris” I said

“I know” he whispered back

Chris slipped his own boxers off and slowly stroked himself, leaning forward on his forearm his used his right hand to guide his dick to my entrance

Slowly pushing himself in, his breathing hitching at the feeling.

“Fuck y/n you feel so good” he panted out as he bottomed out

He allowed his right arm to lean near my head as he started to thrust into me, my legs spreading wider for him. And my right hand wrapping around his left bicep

He leaned his head into my neck, his hair tickling my face and his chain slowly sliding against my collar bone

His thrusts becoming deeper and harder causing my mouth to fall open

“Oh fuck Chris this feels so good” I moaned out gripping the hair at the back of his head with my left hand.

“Fuck” he moaned out at this feeling

I leaned up a little more and wrapped my legs around his waist, his breathing becoming heavier sounding like a song in my ear. Our chests touch, sending shockwaves through my brain. Who wouldve thought fucking Chris would be this amazing

Chris thrust became faster and my moans fell out of my mouth with no signs of stopping. I never wanted this feeling to stop

“Keep going Chris I’m going to cum soon” I said raking my nails up and down his back

“Okay baby” he moaned out licking his lips as he thrusted into me harder

I laid back down and Chris leans back a bit, placing my thighs over his own as he slammed into me

“Fuckkkkkk” I moaned out gripping the sheets above my head

Chris brought his hand down to rub my clit with his thumb causing my back to arch off the bed

“Oh my god” I moaned out shutting my eyes and letting my mouth fall open

With a few more thrusts I was beginning to shudder on Chris’ dick.

“I’m going to cum” I said

“Come on pretty girl” he cooed at me

He rubbed faster, and suddenly my stomach tightened causing my thighs to shake and my eyes to screw shut

“Fuck fuck fuck” I moaned out as I came all over him

He helped me ride out my high as I tried to catch my breath. And soon he pulled out of me, stroking his dick a few times before painting my lower abdomen in his cum.

“Fuck Y/N” he moaned out as I saw him lean his head back and his arm moving to help him ride out his own high

Chris caught his breath before getting off the bed, slipping his boxers back on and turning the lamp on

His eyes glanced over at me, my body in a sheen of sweat as I laid there limp and fucked out

Chris came back with a small wet towel to wipe me clean.

I slid my underwear and my shirt back on. Chris shut the light off and came in closer pulling me to his chest.

“I’m glad you hated me it made for some pretty hot sex” he said kissing my cheek

“You’re such a weirdo” I said giggling

“A weirdo just for you” he said back

Chris and I laid in one another’s arms talking a bit before we both fell asleep.

Our alarm for 6AM going off, so we could check out by 7AM. Chris and I had both showered and packed up our stuff.

I texted Nick that we were checking out of the hotel and heading to grab breakfast before getting back on the road. Thankfully it was only an hour and a half drive to the Vegas hotel.

Chris grabbed our bags and we walked to the car. He placed everything in and before letting me get in the car he gave me a kiss

“God you’re so beautiful” he whispered out

“You’re so corny” I said rolling my eyes and blushing

Chris rolled his eyes at me and we got in the car heading through a Dunkin’ Donuts drive thru for breakfast and hoping back on the highway

We spent the rest of the car ride laughing and enjoying each other's music.

Who would’ve thought sharing a king size bed would right our wrongs….

The End

Hope y’all enjoyed this one! I actually really loved writing this one🤭 so whoever requested this I hope you enjoyed it as well! I love yall🥹🖤🖤

-J💅🏽

[cultofdixon]

What Happens Next

Daryl Dixon • She/Her Pronouns • The archer was given the best news of his life, and one would say he’s one of the more involved in every single thing that has to do with his future child • ANGST/SFW/NSFW • TW: Pregnancy & Birth / Anxiety / Scars / Injuries / Sleep Deprivation • Ignoring Canon, cuz I can

Requested by: Anon

Daryl stared at her dumbfounded and a little taken back by what his wife had just told him. He had to sit down and the silence started to worry Y/N.

He doesn’t…

He doesn’t want this

We should’ve been more careful

Fuck he’s probably mad

What am I supposed to do—-

“Hey…hey…darling, what’s wrong? You’re crying” Daryl frowns as he has risen from his seat when the tears rolled from her cheeks abruptly. He carefully took a hold of her face wiping away the tears that kept falling. “Sweetheart…”

“I should’ve been more careful…”

“Y/N”

“You don’t want this—-“

“Love—-“

“Daryl I’m so sor—-“

“I want this, I want this if you do” Daryl states holding her face as the tears came on faster but no longer from her anxiety. He couldn’t help his own as he wipes the happy tears away before bringing her close in his embrace. “We’re gonna be parents”

“We’re gonna be parents”

First Trimester

“Are you going on the run tomorrow?”

“I’ll have to ask Y/N” Daryl states helping Rick pack up the truck for the overnighters as the retired sheriff gave him a confused look.

“Ask Y/N? Really? You usually never asked her before you did anythin’. Tell her yeah but—-“

“Things have changed. No more worrying of Negan causing hell on us anymore. I ain’t leaving her in the dark of anythin’.” Daryl shuts the trunk before making his way back to the house. “I’ll ask and let yea know”

“Okay…” Rick continues to have some suspicion about what’s hidden behind his words.

As Daryl enters the home he spotted Y/N immediately as she was sitting on the kitchen floor. He quickly ran over to her thinking the worse but she gave him a reassuring look that made him sit with her instantly.

“Are you alright?”

“Just felt icky when grabbing something to eat…had to sit down”

“Quickly I assume”

Y/N hums tiredly in response as she rests her head on his shoulder feeling his instantly rest on hers. “Did you tell anybody yet?”

“Am I allowed to?”

“Yes…but I wanna tell Carol. You can literally tell anybody else but this is my one. And Maggie.”

“If I tell Rick or Michonne what makes yea think they won’t tell others? Rick also doesn’t know how to keep his mouth shut” He laughs making Y/N do so as well snuggling into his side. “He’s going on a run tomorrow, wondered if I’m going”

“What’s stopping you?” She asks as the silence gave her her answer. “Oh, me? I never stopped you before”

“Mm. Told him I’d ask yea if I could go…” By the way he said such, Y/N knew he didn’t want to go. Leave her for too long…she couldn’t help the smile on her face.

“I don’t want you to go”

“Then I’ll stay. Take care of yea”

“Speaking of such…I’m hungry, but I don’t want to lose it instantly”

“I can make yea toast. Prob one of the few things I can make without burning it” He smiles listening to her laugh to such before slowly getting up and offering a hand to help her up but she shook her head. “Still icky?”

“Mhm. Besides I like the view” Y/N winks smiling up at her man while he groaned to the comment.

A few days went by and today was the perfect opportunity to tell Carol. Alexandria took a big hit after the Saviors War along with the Kingdom that they have been going back and forth to help rebuild each other’s communities with the help of others. It was the Kingdom’s turn to come to Alexandria which meant Carol coming by. But Y/N went on an infirmary run with Siddiq to the other communities. This meant Daryl has to bite his tongue from telling Carol.

Even though Daryl’s silent moments that was him biting his tongue, concerned Carol.

“How’s the house holding up?”

“What do you mean?”

“Well this place was set on fire and our first job was fixing the houses. Was wondering how yours and Y/N’s is doing. Anything you add since I’ve moved to the kingdom?”

“Nope” Daryl lied of course because he can’t talk about the nursery they are starting early before Y/N can’t help physically. “Only got the guest room set up for you. That’s pretty much the only thing we did to the place”

“Uh huh” Carol squints at the man waiting for him to reveal more but he didn’t. “Well, the crops aren’t going to take care of themselves and you’re certainly not helping by drowning the potatoes” she had to take the hose away from Daryl since his mind was elsewhere and that made her worry even more.

She was even more worried and a bit suspicious when Daryl stayed outside that night with the universal radio talking to who she assumed to be Y/N.

“You feelin’ alright, darling?”

“Yeah…Maggie made sure I didn’t overwork myself once I told her”

“She happy?…for us?”

“Why wouldn’t she be? She’s a bit surprised it didn’t happen sooner. Given yknow. The times she walked in on us”

“Do I still have to apologize for the first time in Alexandria or?” Daryl smiles listening to her laugh on the other end. “It’s about to get harder to hide certain things. You better get your ass back before I blab”

“You better fucking not Dixon”

“It’s either I—-Or Rick”

Bingo. Carol knew exactly who to go to and it’s the blabber mouth. Rick can keep secrets when it came to death level situations but life? The man will fold.

“Rick!” Carol calls out to the retired sheriff while he was carrying Judith on their morning walk. “Want some company?”

“Uhm. Sure?” Rick sets Judith down as she instantly reached to hold Carol’s hand as well as her dad’s. “What’s up?”

“Daryl is keeping a secret from me and I overheard him last night talking to Y/N on the radio”

“Why are you eavesdropping on the two?”

“Because they are my family and if something serious is happening…I want to know. I’ve lost enough” She knew playing the guilt card will get Rick to fold but Judith, as young as she is, knows when her father is about to fuck something up.

“I WANT MOMMY” She screams and let go of the two’s hands to sprint in the opposite direction they were heading.

“Sorry Carol I gotta—“ Rick gestures to where his kid is running as Carol waved him off.

As Rick catches up to Judith he quickly picks her up once again as she held her hand out. He immediately took out a hard candy from his back pocket giving it to her.

“You’re a life saver”

“Can you open it daddy?”

“Of course, sweetheart” Rick smiles helping his kid on the way back to their house.

Finally, Y/N returns home with Siddiq who on the drive back was telling her about the pre-natals they had and if she ever got too sick to move that she should see him right away. He was freaking her out really with everything he was talking about. The baby book that Maggie gave her already stressed her.

“Siddiq, I love yea. But please shut up”

“Sorry. Did I go too far?”

“Yes…” Y/N sighs laughing after.

Siddiq drove up to the infirmary and parked, Y/N quickly stepped out grabbing her duffle. “Let me get you the vitamins before you head back home, okay?”

As Y/N waited on the porch, it didn’t take long for Daryl to reunite with his partner knowing she would’ve stopped there first. He was also getting restless not being able to tell Carol the news and needed her to tell her. But she looked exhausted when Daryl drew close.

“You alright?”

“Been doing check ups all day…and driving back from the Sanctuary was physically and mentally exhausting…”

Daryl didn’t know one of their stops was the Sanctuary and felt awful knowing she went there. He took her bag for her and the timing was perfect when Siddiq came out tossing the bottle to the archer.

“How many times a day?”

“It says it on the bottle, but should be once. I’d take it around noon” Siddiq advises patting Y/N on the shoulder before going to unload the truck for them.

As the two made their way back to the house, they were welcomed by Carol standing obnoxiously in the middle of the foyer.

“So what’s going on between you two?”

“Daryl didn’t tell you anything right?” Y/N asks watching the confusion grow on her face. “I’ll take that as a yes…but I’m so exhausted…”

“Carol can she tell yea in the morning? It’s nothin’ bad” Daryl frowns rubbing circles on Y/N’s back as Carol’s expression softens before inevitably nodding.

“But if you forget, I will yell at you”

“Promise” Y/N gave her a soft smile approaching her and hugging her family. “I’m so happy you’re here”

After their small moment, Y/N didn’t wait any much longer to climb into their bed and get comfortable. Daryl brought himself to her side of the bed helping her get out of her shoes and her jeans so that she could be more comfortable.

“Yea need anything from your bag downstairs?”

“Mmm. Besides my shorts, can you get me water while you’re down there?” Y/N smiles as Daryl snuck in a quick kiss to her lips before doing such.

As the archer made his way downstairs he spotted Carol at the dining room table where he put Y/N’s bag…and the bottle.

“Shit”

“You fucking hid this from me?! I wouldn’t have reacted badly—-“ Carol stops when Daryl started shushing her. “Excuse me?”

“Y/N wants to tell yea. She even got mad at me about it. She really wants to be the one to tell you that she literally gave me a list of who I could tell and you were off limits. Same with Maggie.” Daryl took the bottle from her and stowed it away in Y/N’s bag. “You can’t say shit”

“Well can I say—-“

“You can say it in the morning when she tells yea”

When he turned toward his best friend he saw the permanent smile on her face as he clenched the shorts Y/N had him get for her.

You’re gonna be a dad Carol mouths to Daryl with her smile following as she held in her squeal to hug him just for a moment before letting him get back to what he needed to do.

The morning came and Carol anxiously waited at the dining room table for the two to emerge. But only Y/N woke out of them and by the looks of it, she woke up to puke and Carol couldn’t help the worried look.

“I’m pregnant”

“I know”

“I’m too tired to kill Daryl”

“He didn’t tell me, love. I found the prenatal bottle in your bag because Daryl wouldn’t tell me anything that I had to investigate. Even Rick didn’t tell me”

“Mmm…that’s impressive” Y/N was a bit proud of Rick for not spilling the beans. Then she started tearing up which lead to her close friend rising to her feet and making her way to her. “I’m so scared Carol…” she sobbed hugging Carol back once she wrapped her arms around her.

“Oh hun that’s normal. Trust me. You are going to be a great mom, and I know that man of yours is going to be a great dad by how over protective he is and the little one isn’t even here yet” Oh Y/N knew that the archer was looming around the corner as he didn’t want to ruin their moment but also didn’t want to leave her alone in case of anything. “Now come on. You go back to sleep and take it easy today. Dad-to-be and I will hold down the fort” Carol directs Y/N back to the stairs as she stopped to hug her husband feeling him tighten his grasp on her kissing her temple.

“Come find me if yea need anything”

“Mhm” Y/N hums happily parting from him to head back to bed.

“You are going to be difficult to ask for help that takes you away from Y/N, huh?” Carol smiles watching Daryl nod. “Then go! I’ll tell Rick you’ll help out later”

The first three months was a breeze even with the morning sickness and overly tired days. Daryl wouldn’t leave when the days were bad even if Y/N insisted he’d do something other than watch her sleep. But he didn’t care. He’d even catch up on some sleep as long as it meant being with her. Carol started visiting more and Maggie would give her items that helped her during her pregnancy with Hershel Jr. She’s honestly relieved that Y/N wasn’t pregnant during all the chaos, all that was happening was just rebuilding the communities. Some part of her really wanted to physically be there but couldn’t for reasons.

“Y/N, Carol is making me read this and it’s already fuckin’ terrifying” Daryl thought something like the prison flu or another asshole threatening their lives would be the thing he worries about. But there’s so much more to it and the new world changes a lot of it.

“You don’t have to read it if it gets too much” Y/N grumbles to herself as she struggles to her favorite jeans on.

“I wanna be prepared. Even if I have no idea what colostrum is…” Daryl stops reading the page he was on when listening to Y/N’s annoyance get louder. He dog-eared the page he was on setting the book down on the dresser approaching his partner to help when he noticed. “Stop. Wear something else”

“I’m working on the farm all day. I want to be comfortable”

“If comfortable is crushing my baby, I don’t want it” Daryl unbuttoned her jeans as Y/N looks at him confused feeling her face flush when he pulled her pants down low enough to show her in the mirror. “You popped”

“Don’t ever say that again” Y/N laughs resting her hands on her small bump feeling Daryl’s gaze burn into her as she took his hand to rest on it. “Your big ass hand makes it look like nothing”

“It’s still somethin’” Daryl couldn’t help his smile forming as Y/N kisses his temple while he continued to hold her bump.

Second Trimester

It was the first deer she has seen in a while, given she usually gets rabbits and squirrels once she learned how to use her bow. Y/N snuck up on the creature perfectly as she readies her bow, the first time she had to readjust given what she was carrying. She took the shot once it was clear and managed to get the deer.

“Yes!” Y/N cheers putting her bow back on her back approaching the downed deer, pulling the arrow out once she put it out of its misery. She heard the walker approaching and given her knelt position it was going to take her a minute to get up but she was going to take it out before it got near dinner.

Then an arrow shot past her taking the walker out as Y/N quickly turns around finding her man had took the shot and gave away his position.

“I told you I could’ve done this alone”

“But yea ain’t alone, and I didn’t make any promise to the peanut. Ain’t leavin’ her alone”

“You really want a girl don’t you?” Y/N smiles ignoring how she felt a second ago to gush over the fact that Daryl really wants a little girl and how cute it was that he did.

“I ain’t calling the baby an it that’s for sure” Daryl scoffs going to retrieve his arrow and help her carry the deer back, and by help, do it himself. “Yea feel anything yet?”

The archer has been reading the baby book given to him non-stop. He’s already protective of those who’s he cares about, and the book only made it 100 times worse because of all the scary things that could happen. But there are good parts. In this regard, the baby kicking.

“I just got to five months. It won’t magically happen instantly”

“I know���but I wanna be there”

“You most likely will. You don’t leave me alone for more than a minute” Y/N laughs quietly as the two got closer to where they’ve been staying for a month. The Sanctuary. Rick had asked Daryl if he could watch the Sanctuary for a few weeks just until they’re comfortable knowing not another Negan will emerge. He also promised Y/N that it would only be a few weeks and then they can be back home enjoying their lives just the two of them before their new addition joins.

It’s been a month and Daryl hasn’t seen anything happen with the ex-saviors but has seen his wife become more anxious the longer they stay there.

“I’m talkin’ to Rick tomorrow about going home. I think the place is fine without supervision. Just as long as someone checks in every now and then…” Daryl frowns looking at Y/N who was actively ignoring the conversation knowing Rick is only going to ask for another couple days. But he was persistent this time. “Y/N. We’re gonna go home. Not have to worry about anythin’ else but gettin’ ready for the little peanut”

She really wasn’t there mentally when Daryl would talk about that. All she did was give him a small smile before hesitantly heading inside the place.

“You can go back if it’s that bad”

“Rick fuckin’ owes me this time. It’s one thing dealin’ with my own shit. But Y/N not saying more than five words a conversation while in this hell, I ain’t having it anymore Carol” Daryl frowns gripping the radio in his grasp as he tried not to lose it while he stepped outside for a moment even if his anxiety was telling him to not leave Y/N. “I need to go back inside”

“You should”

Daryl looks up from his lap finding Carol in the protective gear that Kingdom guards wear as she brought herself to sit beside him. “When did yea—-“

“You’re not the only one with access to that radio.”

“She’s talkin’ to yea and not…Carol if something serious is—-“

“Don’t. Don’t jump the gun. It has nothing to do with her state or the baby. For the most part” Carol set her pack down going through it and handing Daryl a few things at a time. They were all baby related and some clothes for Y/N that would make her more comfortable even if wearing Daryl’s sweaters were enough. “We talk about her and the baby in good terms. Whenever I do bring up the Sanctuary, she goes quiet and doesn’t want to talk about it at all. She doesn’t want to be here. So I am helping y’all get out of here and if whoever has an issue with it, they’ll talk to me”

“Or me. I don’t want Y/N to stress just from being here.” Daryl frowns holding a Fox plush that was in the pile. “Rick should’ve thought this through”

“Mm. He should’ve. But right now? We have our priorities”

Y/N was sleeping uncomfortably in one of the rooms at the Sanctuary as she would wake to every noise she heard and didn’t like being so close to the cells knowing where Daryl has been held captive for weeks. Her anxiety was the worse that night Daryl and Carol decided to sneak her out in the middle of it, the door opening lead to Y/N taking her gun out from under her pillow.

Daryl held his hands up watching Y/N relax but also break out into tears. “Hey…no I’m sorry. Shouldn’t have snuck up on yea or anythin.” He frowns sitting on the side of the bed wiping away her tears. “We’re going home, not waiting for Rick or anybody else for that matter. We’re going now”

“But—-“

“Nah. I need my wife and baby safe, and even if everything is fine here. You don’t feel safe. I need yea safe” Daryl presses his forehead against hers resting his hand on her belly and that’s when it happened. Right at that very second, Daryl suddenly pulls back keeping his hand cemented on her belly as Y/N rests hers on top of his laughing through the tears.

“Timing couldn’t be more perfect”

“Peanut didn’t like it here either” Daryl kept his attention to the movement until it stopped for the time being as he brought Y/N close to hold his family. “We’re gonna be okay. I promise”

Nobody questioned their return, and Rick definitely didn’t bother asking because he knew he’d get chewed out. But a huge part of him was thankful to have them back.

“Daryl told me to check on yea while he’s gone, but by the looks of it…” Michonne enters the nursery. “You’ve been busy” she smiles seeing all the work Y/N had managed to get done.

The walls were already a grey and Daryl found paint cans in one of the garages that matched the shade enough to fix the spots. The one part he didn’t let Y/N do because of fumes. Even though he did try to convince her to let him move furniture but she would yell at him every time he tried. It’s the simple stuff. The closet had the extra supplies, there was a dresser that held the baby clothes Daryl found and hand me downs from Maggie, a basket on top of such that held cloth diapers and burp clothes, a crib, and the rocking chair Y/N was currently sitting in that was gifted to her by someone at Oceanside. There was still much to be done but she was exhausted when Michonne came in.

“He’s on a gas run but knowing my partner he’s going to come back with things. He never comes home empty handed” Y/N shifts a bit getting used to being a growing planet of a human being as she rubs circles on her belly. “Wish he’d be back already”

“You want company?” Michonne smiles watching her friend’s eyes light up to those words.

The party of two became three and then four. That being Rosita joining once she heard a girls night was commencing in some way and Carol joining after she came to visit to do her usual check in on Y/N. Daryl isn’t the only hoverer. At first it was talking about the changes happening in the others’ lives and then the talking became talking and working on the nursery with the directions given by Y/N.

By the end of the night, Daryl came back with Rick as the two were heading toward the Dixon residence.

“You excited?”

“Who wouldn’t be?”

“I was terrified with Carl and that was before the outbreak happened. Then Judith, same feelin’ but with the undead around. Y’all having a kid with the sickos still walking. Just thought you’d be a bit more—-“

“Scared?” Daryl chuckles gripping the strap to his crossbow. “Never said I wasn’t scared and as much as hell continues to surround us, as long as they’re safe and well, our bubble can stay intact.”

“You did seem to be a natural with babies when Judith was small. I know for a fact you’ll be great” Rick pats his brother on the back watching Michonne step out of the residence with a smile on her face and immediately hugging her man.

“Have a good night” Daryl tells the two as he enters his home seeing Carol and Rosita in the kitchen cleaning up their mess but also enjoying dinner. “Hey”

“Hey, look who’s back”

“Y/N misses you. Should go check on her” Rosita states watching Daryl give her a questioning look by how she said such before doing exactly that. Since it was his plan the second he entered Alexandria.

Daryl’s first stop was the bedroom half expecting her to be in bed already. But since she wasn’t there, he knew to check the obvious and he was surprised by the finished nursery. It was very gender neutral even if he was convinced and convinced Y/N that they were having a girl. But he loved everything about it.

“You’ve been busy”

“I had help from my girls” Y/N smiles happily from the rocking chair that now had a blanket resting on the back of it. It had little woodland creatures on it. “Do you like it?”

“I love it, love it even more if you didn’t lift a finger”

“I didn’t. All the moving was done by them and Carol told me off every chance I tried” She laughs leaning forward when Daryl brought himself over leaning into her to kiss her as she met him halfway. “How was your day?”

“Found enough gas for a few more trips. Gonna try Maggie’s alternative and see if we can eventually change to that” Daryl brought himself to sit on the floor beside her enjoying the feeling of her hand running through his hair. “Did get more stuff for her”

“I figured. But you should look at one of the shelves before you bring the new items in” Y/N states watching Daryl get up with a slight groan after having an exhausting day as he goes to the shelves finding some of the plushies but books they found on display.

But there was a solo shelf above the dresser that held knickknacks. He felt a warmth in his chest finding little wooden carvings that represented each member of their family. Crossbow…arrow…sheriff hat…katana…knife…baseball cap…and the last item was a framed Polaroid that the two had taken with their family all the way back to the prison.

“Eugene whittles and got them done perfectly in my opinion. He also felt like he owed me for the time I was three months and he made me cry for an hour” that got a laugh out of Daryl even though he remembers the day perfectly where he didn’t even know his own strength by how he managed to lift the poor guy off the ground for scaring him in thinking he hurt his wife. “I think it’s perfect but we’ll need something temporary to mount them”

“I’ll think of something but they’re fine where they’re at for now” Daryl smiles returning the picture back on the shelf.

Third Trimester

I’m a fucking goddamn planet Y/N thought as she tries to look down at her feet from sitting on the bench at the end of their bed. Seven months wasn’t so bad. Eight is fucking hell.

Daryl came upstairs once he stood at the front door for too long waiting for Y/N. He thought she was right behind her but she wasn’t.

“What’s the matter?”

“I’m huge. My back hurts…and I can’t tie my shoes” Y/N frowns lifting her feet up and setting them down gently as she readjusts from her seated position holding her belly.

“You should’ve just asked for help, love” Daryl knelt down once he got close enough and helped tie Y/N’s shoes feeling her distract herself by messing with his hair. “Why are you even wearing this pair? I got you shoes without laces”

“You found shoes without laces and I forgot where I put them” Pregnancy brain is a bitch. “Why are we doing this again?”

“It’s a walk around Alexandria. It’s five to ten minutes top. You also bugged me to remind you of such the past few days we’ve been doing this” He tried really hard to contain his laugh but his grin was prominent. “Helps the swelling in your legs”

“Sometimes I wish you’d listen to my tired brain over my screaming one from a few days ago”

“When we get home I’ll rub your feet”

“Sold” Y/N stops messing with his hair, fixing it quickly before he stood to his feet holding his hands out to help her off the bench.

Daryl gave her a quick kiss, then one to her bump. He’s been doing that every day since her bump became more noticeable.

It was a cool fall afternoon that the two were walking around Alexandria as Y/N watches all the familiar faces go about their day along with the new ones. This community expanded like the others and her heart swelled over the fact that this little one has a village in case of anything. But boy did her man make sure everything would go smoothly.

“I’m not naming our kid after any dead relatives”

“Middle names are fine. But you also have to give me boy names” Y/N watches her man roll his eyes as she was just preparing for that just in case. “C’mon baby. We don’t know the gender and our already huge list of girl names over power our list of boys that is literally nothing. It could happen”

“It ain’t but fine. What are yea thinking”

“I really like Shepherd”

“Done. That’s the name if we have a boy—-“

“Daryl!” Y/N smacks him in the chest lightly. “Actually come up with one instead of instantly agreeing with me. What would you like for a boy that would be on the same level with your favorite girl names?”

“Robin can go both ways”

“Okay, fair. But come on” Y/N returns her hand to holding Daryl’s as he was silent for a long time before actually thinking of one.

“Andy ain’t bad”

“Short for Andrew? That’s cute. Andrew Glenn Dixon” That sounds nice.

“Mmm. Gregory”

“No” Y/N immediately shot down. “Steven?”

“Not my first option, but an option. Mmm….” Daryl looks around the place thinking something would inspire him as Y/N tugs at him to take a seat at the gazebo. “Josh—Nah that didn’t sound right leaving my mouth”

“I had an ex named Josh in the old world”

“Then that’s a fuck no” Daryl leans back into the bench resting his head on top of hers once she placed herself on his shoulder. “Can we just agree on Andrew or Shepherd for the boy names?”

“Then Robin or Evelyn for our top girl choices” Y/N sighs happily knowing she doesn’t have to stress about that. “Glad we got that covered”

The two were simply enjoying themselves as a party of two for a little while longer. Listening to the wind of autumn…watching life continue even while outside the walls was a scary place…Daryl couldn’t help but think about the future. Would he mess up? Would he turn out like his father? But those thoughts washed away every time Y/N would look into his piercing blue eyes with her beautiful E/C ones. She’s always been the light that lead him back to reality. He knew he’ll be fine with her by his side every step of the way.

A few nights have past since that calming moment, Daryl brought his arm around his love bringing her close even if it meant her back flush against his chest. Y/N shifted slightly in her sleep out of discomfort from the size of her belly and the movement of the baby. She brought her hand on her belly hoping rubbing circles would soothe it but instead the discomfort got worse.

“D…”

“Hm?”

“Your baby won’t stop moving” She sighs feeling Daryl shift behind her enough to bring his hand to her belly. Her hope was dad’s touch would do something but it didn’t.

Daryl got up entirely from the bed moving himself to her side watching the discomfort in her face grow as she tries to hide in her pillow.

“Imma get Siddiq”

“Please don’t leave me…” Y/N sobs feeling his calloused hand brush the hair out of her face before taking care of the on-going tears.

“Hun if you’re in labor we need the doc”

“My water hasn’t broke yet…”

“Y/N. I don’t want to take any chances here” Daryl frowns hating that she was already experiencing a lot of discomfort that they both knew was only going to get worse. “The second it breaks I’m getting Siddiq. But what do you want me to do right now for you? Just name it”

Early stages of labor was mainly discomfort and the body preparing itself. Daryl didn’t like anything Y/N was suggesting they’d do before her water breaks.

Like the walk they were taking at 3AM and Daryl growing frustrated every time Y/N would smack his hand away when he tried to hold her in some way. She was starting to feel crowded in her own person making her stop suddenly in the middle of the street.

“What’s happenin’” Daryl frowns resting his hand on her back as she tensed to the touch. “Y/N. Tell—-“

“Shut up. I don’t want to walk anymore” She groans turning herself around and waddling incredibly slow back to their place.

The sound of a door opening caught the archer’s attention as he quickly noticed Rosita stepping out of the house she shared with Eugene and Gabriel. She looks at the two confused as Daryl tried his best to tell her what was happening with hand gestures. Rosita is a smart woman she caught on without Daryl’s gesturing as she went back inside to get her shoes on and leave to go get Siddiq for the Dixons.

“She’s in the bath”

“Hm. That makes sense” Siddiq rubs the sleep out of his eyes as it was now around five in the morning and her water hasn’t broken yet. “How do we know these aren’t Braxton?”

“The fake ones? She’s in a lot of discomfort. I doubt it’s fucking fake” Daryl frowns his anxiety was spiking his rage slightly. “I gotta check on her. Just. I’ll come and find yea—-“

“I’m already here. I’ll just be on the couch until anything. Okay? But if it gets worse, I have to check her myself to see how dilated she might be”

“Alright” Daryl quickly went back upstairs, surprised Y/N even wanted to be back up there. But it meant having their kid in their bedroom if it comes to it.

Y/N was comfortably uncomfortable in the bath as she didn’t say a word when Daryl entered, only looked at him with tears still blurring her vision.

“How bad is it?” Daryl sat on the edge of the tub taking her hand into his, feeling her crush his hand instantly. “Fucking hell”

“You should’ve told me sooner if you were a big baby.”

“I wasn’t?” Daryl knew her emotions were going to be all over the place, and her anger is starting to get there. “I was premature.”

“You gave me a big ass baby” Y/N squeezed her eyes shut and the grip on his hand got tighter indicating the pain getting worse. These weren’t fake. These were real contractions. “God she’s going to fucking rip herself out of me”

There’s a mental image Daryl is never going to forget, and the man has seen Alien. Okay now it’s worse applying a chest buster to labor.

“Siddiq has to check yea to see how dilated you are”

“Only you can see me fucking naked. I need to get the fuck out and put a shirt on before that happens”

“Are you even ready to—-“

“NO” She snaps wanting to remain in the tub for a little while longer.

Word got out that Y/N was in the early stages of labor and as more of their family entered the living room, the more it progressed. Siddiq had left to get everything he’ll need from the infirmary given this is now happening in their home. Oh what the doc would give for a hospital right about now. He knows what he’s doing but he still feels inexperienced every time.

Y/N wore one of Daryl’s shirts covering most of her as she felt like a tiny person carrying a planet even more now that her water has broke all over their floor. She leans against the bed gripping the sheets trying to distract herself, appreciating Daryl’s hands working their magic on her back to ease the pain while she took deep breathes.

“I hate you”

“Mm. Fair.”

“No don’t agree with me I’m not serious” she started to sob again. Nice job Daryl. “I love you…I love you so much and I’m excited for this chapter but HOLY FUCK DOES IT HURT” she screams as it startled Daryl a bit, especially their friends in the living room.

“I’ve gotcha love” Daryl brought himself beside her resting his head against hers feeling her lean into him. “Just a few more hours and it’ll be all over”

“I can’t…Fucking, I can’t” Y/N sobs into him feeling his arm wrap around her shoulders to bring her closer.

“You’re the strongest person I know. You can, and you will.” Daryl states kissing her temple before helping her back into the bed.

A few hours have passed and Siddiq checked how dilated she was once more before giving Daryl and Y/N a look that it was time. While he got himself prepared, Y/N gave her partner a horrified look.

“I’m not ready”

“Love, it’s time”

“Daryl I’m not ready” She cries. “What if I’m a terrible mom? What if I mess up so bad that she’ll resent me? I-I…”

Daryl squeezes her hand bringing it up to his lips kissing the back of it before resting his forehead against hers. “You’re going to be great. No one is ever ready. I’m scared shitless. But I know I’ll be great with yea, Y/N. We’ll be great. We’ll mess up and take care of it along the way. It’s bound to happen but again, we’ll be great. We have a village. Have each other. I’m right here, sunshine”

His words made her cry even more but in ease. Siddiq was finally ready and bringing the blanket up checking her once more when Daryl got an idea. He kicked his shoes off and had Y/N sit up enough for him to slip in behind her. She instantly presses herself against his chest feeling his hand move to her knees after instructed to do such.

“Okay, push on the next contraction” Siddiq states letting the nature take its course.

Y/N started to get anxious when the contraction hit her like a truck which lead to her pushing given her instruction. Daryl felt her hands grip onto his forearms as he moved one of his hands off her knee a second to grab her hand letting her squeeze the hell out of it while he brought her leg back into position.

“Good. Good” Siddiq made sure everything was happening smoothly. “Only push on the contractions, Y/N. Or you’ll tear”

“I want to push now…” She sobs feeling Daryl rest his chin on her shoulder.

“Just wait love” Daryl squeezes her hand and her knee with the other one as she rests her head against his.

Push

Push.

Push!

It felt surreal, like how the hell did this even happen? How did they manage to create this perfect little human being that was currently crying up a storm on Y/N’s chest…Daryl couldn’t help the tears that breached from his eyes as he watches their little girl sob into her mother’s chest.

“We did it love…”

“You did it, sweetheart” Daryl kisses Y/N’s temple continuing to keep his full attention on their little one. “She’s perfect”

As the day progresses and the news of little Robin Elizabeth Dixon spread through their entire family, the day felt as if it slowed for just a moment. That moment being Daryl holding his little girl for the first time, letting his wife rest as he took care of her.

Daryl hasn’t stopped smiling since he first saw his daughter and how perfect she came out. He didn’t have to worry about losing either of them during the process, and she was a healthy little girl that calmed instantly in her father’s embrace.

“Are you happy, Daryl?” Y/N smiles tiredly watching the two from her spot seeing his smile grow.

“Yeah, yeah I am”

[xxgoblin-dumplingxx]

Poor wife reader having a bad day and just wanting to be held but Bruce locked himself in the cave to work and her just “I thought having a husband meant I’d have someone to hold me at night” (not in a mad or petty way just a “I’ve had a bad day and so I’m really sensitive and maybe saying things without thinking or filtering them”) and it shooting bruce right in the heart.

I just want to see bruce learning how to be a healthy partner after shutting everyone out for so long

"Are you alright?"

You glance up from your mug, cradled carefully in your hands and force yourself to smile. "Just a long day."

Alfred nodded, "Is there anything-"

"No, I'm alright, thank you. I'm just going to finish my drink and go to bed."

"Very well," Alfred said. "I think Master Bruce is... preparing for a trip if you'd like me to alert him you've returned home."

You shake your head and card your fingers through your hair, "I'll leave him to it. When I called him earlier he seemed... busy." And grumpy. You add silently. And you can't regulate other people's emotions right now. Today was hell. And Bruce was busy. A case he couldn't tell you about.

When you looked back down at your mug, curled around yourself for comfort, Alfred suspected it was more than a long day. You had a full plate. And it seemed like more was added every day. Meetings, appointments, and now interviews and adjusting to having a very public marriage... He didn't envy you.

Or wonder why you might not particularly want company. Just the breif glimpses he's had into your day to day made him wonder how you didn't pull your hair out. So he took his leave. Letting you enjoy some semi silence and a few moments just to have no one speaking to you. And made a mental note to keep more of that particular tea in the pantry. You seemed to enjoy it more than the others. Or at least... you were most familiar with that one. He shuttered to think what would have passed for tea in your house growing up.

____________

When you slipped into the bedroom, rubbing your neck, Brucce looked up from his packing.

He might be going to Dubai as Batman but... Who knew if Bruce Wayne could smooth some things over for him. It happened like that some times.

"I didn't know you were home," he said blinking. "I thought you had a late meeting."

"I wasn't feeling well," you shrug. "I just wanted-" You break off. What you wanted was to curl up in his lap and go to sleep. But. If he was getting ready to go there was no point.

"Sweetheart," he said, frowning slightly, "If this is about earlier-"

"When you hung up on me? No."

"I had another call- Hal-"

"You're a part time super hero. I get it. I just-"

"Spit it out," he prompted, smiling a little. You didn't want to hurt his feelings. And you were tired.

"I just wish I didn't feel like a part time wife."

That hurt. And he tried not to let it show on his face, but it must have. Because you winced and started stammering apologies.

"Oh sweetheart," he sighed. He knew you'd been lonely. Almost from the start. As soon as the honeymoon was over and real life slammed back into focus.

"I know Gotham has to come first. And the the Justice League but I just... I'm sorry I shouldn't have said anything."

He can see you bracing for a fight. That you were reading his body language and it told you he was angry. Yours of experience telling you that he could hurt you. That he could use things you'd told him in vulnerable moments to smack you back in line- and that you're ready to roll over to avoid the pain- and that hurts too.

Because he is angry. But not at you.

All you ever wanted was him. His time. His attention. All the gifts he bought for you were nice. You appreciated them. But all you wanted was a quiet night in, half asleep on his chest.

No diamonds, new cars, or fancy dinners would do that for you. He could hand you his credit card and send you to Paris on a shopping spree and you MIGHT buy something but- more probably you'd just shrug and go look for a stand that sold fresh pastry. It was one of the things he loved about you. You'd learned to march to the beat of your own drum. To love generously. And that's why as you stood there apologizing, all he could do was let the words wash over him.

"You should come first," he corrected.

"Bruce-"

"No listen," he said, crossing the floor to you carefully and taking your hands. "You should come first. And I'm sorry that you can't right now. I'm going to make it up to you-"

"You don't have to," you murmur, looking away.

"Yes, I do," he said, tilting your chin up slowly. "I don't know how. Or when. But I'm going to make this right."

"I'm a big girl, I understand that you have responsibilities-"

"And taking care of you is one of them," he reminded, pulling you against his chest and hoping that he could hug you hard enough to make you understand."And it's an honor. And a privlige. And a responsibility all that the same time. You shouldn't feel like a part time wife, sweetheart."

"I'm sorry-"

"I'm not," he said simply. "Because now that I know there's a problem I can fix it."

[neo-nomatrix]

She’s a princess, and you’re a Mandalorian

That’s something no amount of potion will ever change

Din Djarin x reader

summary: A princess has fallen in love with a mandalorian, and he can’t seem to figure out why

a/n: reader is from the made up kingdom of Avana

word count: 824

Mandalorians do not love, it’s simply a fact. If someone so happens to fall in love with one it would never be a princess.

You met Din Djarin when he crashed outside of the grounds of your kingdom. Villagers who lived near the gates of Avana soon started to talk about the mysterious ship that landed in the forest.

“Princess! Have you heard?” One of your mothers advisors asked.

“Heard what?”

“The ship that crashed outside, near the forest,” she said.

“Is anyone going to help?” You wonder.

“Technically, it’s not our grounds, so we don’t have to,” she finished before getting back to her papers.

How could they do that? Just leave someone, presumably helpless all on their own? You honestly thought it was horrible how they decided to just look the other way. You decided to take the matter and do something about it.

You packed a small bag with food, water, first aid, and a small dagger just in case. As you approach the ship you can tell it’s been through a lot of damage. Half of it is lodged into the ground with plenty of scratches and marks to prove its been through hell and back.

You enter through the small opening on the side of the ship, prying open the metal.

“Maker,” you whisper to yourself as you take in your surroundings.

“Hello!” Your voice echoes through the ship, yet no response.

You search through each room until you reach the cockpit. You glide your hands on the panels and intricate details of the room. Your hand grazes over a leaver that’s clearly had the top screwed off, wondering how that would even happen.

You halt in your steps as you feel the front of a blaster pressed against your head. Your shaky hands are lifted in the air as you slowly turn around.

“Who are you?” A gruff, muffled voice says, less of a question and more of a demand.

“I just want to help you,” You say, slightly scared.

“Answer the question.”

“I’m the princess of the kingdom who’s gates you’ve crashed in front of,” You say slightly aggressively.

“We have mechanics, we can fix your ship,” you mention.

“They sent a princess to look at a shipwreck? Without backup? I’m doubtful,” He says, finally putting down his blaster.

Dank Farrick, he’s got a hot voice.

“You can trust me okay? If you do, you're more than welcome to stay in the castle. Have a bed, a warm meal,” you offer.

“What’s the catch?” He wonders.

“You have to talk to me. Have dinner with me, I swear you’ll enjoy it,” you promise.

He starts to wonder why you’re acting like this. Why you’re treating a stranger with such kindness.

“Fine,” he relents.

_

You send mechanics out to the wreck and you bring the man to your castle.

“It’s breathtaking don’t you think?” You ask him as you sit down at the table, pointing out the paintings on the ceiling.

“Quite,” he murmurs.

“What are you?” You ask, taking a spoonful of soup.

“I’m a mandalorian. I’m afraid I can’t take off my helmet to eat,” he admits.

“Oh that’s alright, I don’t mind.”

“Why are you doing this? I haven’t done anything to spark your kindness, so why?” He asks.

“I don’t know why, but I seem to have taken a liking to you. One that I cannot explain. But it’s a feeling I've had since we first met,” you smile.

Love. That feeling is love. You and the mandalorian both know it.

“What will it take for me to see your face?”

“We would need to be bonded by blood.” He says.

“Hm, interesting,” you say, eating more of your soup.

“I still don’t understand. You’re a princess, I am not the kind of person you should be taking a liking to.”

“Are you saying you don’t like me?” You wonder.

“No, I’m not saying that. I’m saying you shouldn’t like me.” He says.

“But I do! I really do. And, once your ship is fixed, I’d like to go with you wherever you’re going. I know that’s a lot to say but I think it would be nice.”

“It’s dangerous. It’s not the kind of place for someone like you. There would be a point that I won’t be able to protect you. And that’s something I'm not willing to do,” he admits.

“I know you might not believe it but I don’t need protection. I do just fine on my own,” You say, but you know he’s still not convinced.

The back and forth goes on between the two of you before he reaches a decision.

“If I take, and I mean if, you do whatever I say, when I say it. No questions, you just do it. Is that clear?”

“Crystal,” you respond.

Din still doesn’t understand why you like, maybe even love him so much, but he definitely isn’t complaining.

[jeonqkooks]

our beloved summer (05) | jjk

You made a vow to hate Jeon Jungkook ever since he packed up and left you without a single explanation, but when he shows up at your door after years of radio silence, it turns out that maybe your resolve isn't as strong as you thought.

pairing: producer!jungkook x songwriter!reader

genre/warnings: exes au, fluff, angst, eventual smut, drinking, swearing, crying, Sad Boy JK Hours ??, valentino!yoongi bc that should be a whole warning 🥵 even though he's there and not really there for literally 2 seconds lol

rating: PG-15

word count: 9.5k

note: this is the most stressed out i've ever been while trying to post a fic 💀 argh anyway, 2 obs updates in one month ?? is this even real life !! consider this a (lunar) new year's present from me to everyone who celebrates it and also to everyone who doesn't !! idk i'm bad at notes and i'm delirious so that's it 😗

series masterpost / main playlist ; interactive playlist ; moodboards ; taglist

— as always, i’d appreciate any thoughts or comments you may have, and please drop a like and/or reblog if you enjoy reading ♡

Hey, I feel like if we gave it one night You'd hate me less and make it alright Just wish that we could fight now I'd hold you on the comedown

Rockland - Gracie Abrams

One thing about you, is that you don’t do well with change.

After you moved out of the first apartment you got as an adult, you constantly went back to your old neighborhood even though it wasn’t close to your new place. You kept walking those familiar streets, kept shopping at the stores where the workers knew your name. At night, you still pictured yourself living there, with all of your furniture and clothes and decorations that you’ve already emptied from those old bones. Then, you imagined what the new tenant was like, if they could feel the lingering love you had for that apartment. You wondered if they were putting the coffee table you left behind to good use, or if they thought that it looked out of place among all of their belongings and had already thrown it away.

Jimin called you weird for that, but he didn’t know that you always leave a piece of yourself everywhere you go. The biggest pieces, you think, are hidden somewhere in a closet in your childhood bedroom where your mother still lives, and in the tiny space of your dorm room where you spent most of your college years.

It took you more than half a year to finally start considering your new apartment home. 

Because you hate change. Change is scary. Change is walking into a pitch-black tunnel with no flashlight, not knowing what awaits you in the darkness and not knowing if you’ll make it to the other side.

That isn’t to say that change is inherently bad. You’ve experienced good changes before. Arguably, Jungkook was a good change when he went from someone you couldn’t tolerate, to the love of your life back then. You were happy with him, so blissfully happy that for a while, you forgot what it was like to experience any other emotion.

Yoongi has always been your friend. It didn’t take you two very long to become well acquainted with one another and from there, develop a good friendship. You have never thought of him as anything other than a friend. Even when he was your boss, he still felt more like a friend.

As you sit next to him in a bar too empty for your liking – but seems right for a Tuesday night – you feel a palpable shift between the two of you.

When your phone vibrates with a notification, you glance at it only to exhale annoyedly – unclear whether this frustration is directed toward yourself, or the person blowing up your mobile; maybe it’s both. That’s the nth message that Jungkook has sent you in the last couple of hours, and you don’t need to read it to know that it’s probably another iteration of the same apology. How many different ways are there to say “Hey, I’m sorry for fucking the receptionist and then having the balls to tell you that you’re the unprofessional one when you didn’t even do anything.” Apparently a lot, because the texts just keep coming.  

“Jungkook again?” Yoongi asks from beside you. Fuck. You’ve mostly been silently moping since he brought you here, too enmeshed in your own web of muddled thoughts that you forgot he’s someone you need to make amends with too. 

You give him a nod but still continue to stare at the drink in front of you, trying to disentangle your Yoongi thoughts from your Jungkook ones. 

Taking a sip of your drink, your face manages to keep a grimace at bay as the liquid ambushes your tastebuds. You don’t like whiskey, but you need something to hate more than yourself tonight. When you set the glass down, the alcohol sloshes around like a compact sea of your own amber-colored miseries.

“I’m sorry,” you say finally. “This is unfair to you. I don’t know what came over me. I just want you to know that this isn’t me responding to…” To your confession.

“If you’re about to say what I think you’re about to say, then I have to stop you right now.”

“Yoongi…”

“I’m not saying that you can’t turn me down, although I hope you don’t do that,” he chuckles. “I’m just saying that whatever you do, whether you give me a chance or reject me, I want you to decide after you’ve really thought about it, about me.”

You can’t say no to that; it’s only fair. Yoongi knows what he deserves. You haven’t looked at him in any other way, but that doesn’t mean that you can’t. Didn’t you say it yourself, that maybe you should start putting yourself out there? Well, here is someone coming to you before you even have to look anywhere. You may not have expected Yoongi, but then, you didn’t expect Jungkook either.

Yoongi could be the good change you need.

Nevertheless, you want to tell him you’re sorry for the other night. It should be fairly simple, but the words have a hard time dislodging themselves from your throat.

“I’m sorry about what I said that night at dinner… and what I did…”

Yoongi props an elbow on the bar top and leans forward to rest his chin in the palm of his hand, his eyes glimmering with mischief. “Remind me what it is that you did again?”

“Come on, I’m serious.” You are grateful that he’s trying to keep it light, though.

“I’m serious too. I seem to have forgotten.”

“Yoongi…”

“Yes, Y/N?”

You sigh, shutting your eyes momentarily. Recalling the moment makes you flush with embarrassment, bringing a splash of color to your cheeks which Yoongi always seems to enjoy.

In a quiet voice, you say, “I’m sorry for throwing salt at you…”

“You threw salt at me!” He tips his head back, laughing freely. The bartender spares you two a glance at the sudden disruption. “You shouldn’t go around throwing salt at people!”

“Stop laughing! I’m trying to apologize.” You punch his arm out of habit and for a second there, you forget that your relationship with Yoongi isn’t the same anymore. Changed forever.

“Okay, okay, I’ll stop. Jeez, why are you so violent?” He rubs the spot where you hit him, muttering under his breath something about him bruising like a peach. “Apology accepted. No hard feelings.”

“Okay, good. But I still want you to know that if you were expecting anything from tonight…”

Yoongi ruffles your hair with a scoff. “I’m not that dense. Of course I’m not expecting anything.” When you peer at him with curious and unsure eyes, he continues, “Y/N, earlier you looked like you wanted to set the place on fire and Jungkook looked like he was about to shit himself. Tonight, I’m just a friend who’s here for you if you want to vent. We’re just two buddies having a drink, that’s all.”

He makes it sound so simple, while your brain is already going haywire.

Despite yourself, you chuckle at his words. You tell him how much you appreciate it, though you don’t really tell him anything about what happened this afternoon, just that Jungkook said some stuff that pissed you off. You can’t tell him exactly what Jungkook did to anger you without alluding to the confession for which Yoongi is letting you off the hook for now.

“Do you wanna come with me tomorrow?” Yoongi asks.

“Come with you where?”

“I have a shoot with Valentino in the morning.”

“You have a photoshoot not even 12 hours from now and you’re here drinking? Aren’t you gonna wake up puffy or something?”

“Yeah, my manager would kill me if she knows what I’m doing,” he replies casually, like his manager has a telepathic connection with him and she can sense him mocking her over a drink. When people see Agust D, they tend to only see the icy exterior that he dons. That tough, maybe even callous, image has sustained him in the entertainment industry for years. For many, Agust D seems intimidating and unapproachable. That’s how you felt when you first met him too. But after a while, you got to see Min Yoongi, and Min Yoongi is nothing if not warm and tender-hearted, even if he’s a little shit sometimes. At least, that’s what he has always been like to you. “She thinks I’m getting my beauty sleep right now.”

You lightly snort at that, telling him, “Yeah, you need it.”

When you start to yawn, Yoongi calls a driver to drop you off at your place. The ride is mostly silent, because you’re tired and because you’re not sure what to say to Yoongi in the presence of a stranger taking you home. The car pulls up to your building soon enough, and before you can step out and tell him goodnight, he offers to walk you up. He takes the elevator with you to your floor, how gallant but unnecessary. When you reach your door, you wonder whether you should invite him in for a glass of water or something. If this was a week – or even just a couple of days – earlier, you would’ve had no reason to hesitate.  He doesn’t ask if he can come in but instead takes one of your hands.

“I see you’ve been giving yourself some TLC. They’re a lot better now,” he comments, smoothing his thumb over your skin. You’ve been diligent with your hand care routine since he gave you that lotion. It feels nice, and it smells amazing. Besides, your hands were starting to hurt anyway.

Silence descends upon the two of you as you become aware of Yoongi touching you, and the weight of the answer you’ve yet to give him. He must feel you stiffen, because he lets you go and smiles.

“Relax, princess. Get some sleep, you’re the one who needs it. I said I’ll let you think about it, didn’t I? Stop stressing so much.” His index finger taps your cheek playfully, so familiar yet so foreign at the same time. The wink that he tacks on makes you roll your eyes. You watch Yoongi make his way to the elevator, step in and press the button for the ground floor. He maintains eye contact with you as he waits for the doors to shut, and you don’t think you’ve really noticed before how Yoongi carries himself with such confidence and poise even when he’s off-camera. That’s just the kind of person he is and it’s… kind of attractive.

You can’t even fish around in your bag for your keys, you just stand there because he keeps your gaze trained on him. His eyes are alluring even under the shitty lighting of your building’s elevator. Before the lift closes, his voice carries over from the metal box to your door, and you don’t know if it’s the echo of his low timbre in the empty hallway that makes you shiver, or if it’s just Yoongi.

“I’ve waited this long, what’s a little more time?”

One week. This is a record for you and Taehyung.

You’re still baffled by his attitude that night, and no one has cleared anything up for you. He was right, but that doesn’t mean you were wrong. You stand by your initial reaction. Could anyone really blame you for that? In your defense, who the fuck could believe that a worldclass megastar has romantic feelings for them? Not to mention that the person whom the megastar in question has feelings for is you! You, the pathetic girl who can’t seem to get over her ex. Yoongi had to sit through a whole hour of you drunkenly crying over Jungkook, for fuck’s sake!

That really wasn’t your best moment, but it’s not like you even remember it anyway.

Your phone buzzes to life with Jimin’s face taking over the whole screen – a photo of your hand squishing his full cheeks until his lips jut out. “Hey Minnie,” you greet him once you’ve swiped to accept the call.

“Y/N,” he says, sounding out of breath. “Where are you?”

“I’m at home. Where are you? Are you doing pull-ups again? You know you practically hyperventilate when you do more than 3.”

“Shut up, I’m at dance practice. But listen, have you talked to Tae yet?”

You purse your lips at the mention of his name. “No. We’re supposed to go grocery shopping tomorrow like we always do, but I guess that won’t be happening.”

Jimin hums, like he’s in thought. He doesn’t speak again until his breathing has calmed. “Well, can you go to his place right now?”

“Why?”

“He’s sick and I’m kind of worried about him. He hasn’t answered my messages.”

You frown. “Tae’s sick?”

“Yeah, he must’ve caught a cold the other day. Could you go over there and check on him? I would go but I can’t leave for another few hours.”

You agree to go, because of course you would. Even if you’re stubborn and hot-headed, no amount of pettiness could make you ignore your friends especially when they’re unwell and need somebody. Especially when it’s Taehyung who’s been there for you so many times.

You stay on the call with Jimin for another ten whole minutes even after you have said you would go, because he keeps droning on and on about how shitty Taehyung looked yesterday.

Before you go to your best friend’s apartment, you stop by your regular diner to pick up some comfort food for him, and the pharmacy for some medicine. During the rest of the drive there, you start getting a little worried. When Taehyung takes care of a sick you or Jimin, he practically goes into full mama bear mode, making sure that you’re as comfortable as humanly possible and not leaving your side until you’re a functional human being again. But when it comes to his own wellbeing, Taehyung doesn’t seem to be that concerned. It’s not that he neglects his health, but you wish that he would show himself the same kindness that he shows you.

It feels weird to use the spare key that you have to his place, considering that you aren’t really on speaking terms. In hindsight, it feels so childish. How old are you to still be pulling the silent treatment on each other? 

You ring the doorbell and wait a couple minutes until you hear Taehyung shuffling to get the door from the other side. When it swings open, he tenses up a bit, not expecting to see you at all. His hair is damp; he must’ve just gotten out of the shower. Taehyung doesn’t look as bad as Jimin described though. Just some dark circles under his eyes.

You raise a hand and wave. “Hi.”

“Hi,” he parrots somewhat awkwardly. It’s understandable; neither of you thought you’d be the one to break the ice. “What are you doing here?”

Bringing your other hand up, you show him the bag you’re holding. “Brought you soup and cold meds. Jimin said you’re sick.”

His brows knit together in confusion. “Thanks…” he says slowly, “but I’m not sick?”

“But Jimin said you caught a cold and you’ve been wheezing like a dying fisherman and–” You purse your lips, catching onto what’s really happening here. “He tricked me, didn’t he?”

Park Jimin…

Taehyung tuts under his breath, shaking his head at the ground. “Mhmm.”

“He could go into acting. He sounded really worried on the phone, like you were on the verge of death.”

“No, yeah, he really could,” Taehyung agrees. “Jimin is bizarrely good at lying sometimes. We should be worried about that.”

You laugh, and that makes him feel like the air is relaxed enough for him to laugh too. It only lasts a few seconds before you’re left staring at each other again. You hate it. You really, really hate it.

You thought that the universe sent you a sign, gave you a reason to come over and make nice with your best friend. Turns out that “the universe” is really just Park Jimin and his scheming tongue. But you’re already here, and you have to talk to him eventually. Jimin might have lied, but you would’ve just waited for Taehyung to reach out first to offer an olive branch anyway.

“Well, can I come in?” you ask. It’s weird that you even have to ask.

“Of course,” he says absentmindedly, stepping to one side to let you in. He takes the bag from your hand and brings it to the kitchen while you kick off your shoes and change into the pair of fuzzy bear slippers that he keeps for you here.

You want to tell him what happened as much as you hate admitting that you were wrong.

“Have you eaten?” you ask, a sad attempt at delaying what will inevitably come.

“No,” comes his simple reply.

“Should we eat? I bought enough for two people.”

“But I’m not sick.”

“You don’t have to be sick to eat chicken noodle soup.”

Taehyung looks at you like the thought has genuinely never crossed his mind. “Interesting… Okay, then.”

You put on an episode of your favorite show while he heats up the food. When you both sit down to eat, it’s mostly silent while the TV continues to play. The most you and Taehyung thing that you exchange in these 30 minutes is him saying soup tastes like shit when you’re not actually sick, and you telling him to stop being such a hater. When you both finish, Taehyung rinses the bowls and puts them in his dishwasher. 

Before you came over, you thought you would only be making him eat, take his meds, and sit there for a bit while he sleeps. If you had known this would happen, you would’ve prepared yourself for it.

But then again, you were tricked into coming.

Ugh. Just do it. You are so freaking dramatic.

“Well,” you start, keeping your voice light and trying not to stand around like you’re out of place in his apartment, “you were right.”

“About what?” Taehyung asks, wiping his hands on a towel. 

“About Yoongi and… all that.”

“Oh.” His expression is one you aren’t too familiar with. There’s surprise – yes, that you’re making peace with him – in the way his brows slightly lift, but there’s something else too. Something odd that you can’t quite put a finger on, and it makes you slightly uneasy because you don’t like it when you can’t read Taehyung. 

He’s pretty quick to mask it, and it makes you even more conscious that there’s something he isn’t telling you. Of course, this feeling is miniscule, practically a seed compared to the blooming garden of nerves that the events of these past few days have dumped upon you, so you can’t categorize it as a high-level priority to nitpick. You need to deal with your main concerns first, aka what to do about Yoongi and Jungkook, both individually and together, and then you can begin to inspect what’s going on with Taehyung.

It all sounds so easy in theory.

Taehyung goes to the couch and you wordlessly follow. You sit down when he pats the spot next to him – your spot. “How did you come to that conclusion?” he asks. “You know I don’t get to hear you tell me I’m right very often.”

Because you aren’t right very often, is what you almost say. It’s light and playful, and you both know it would diffuse the leftover tension, but you chuck the words aside in favor of something more serious. There isn’t that much to catch him up on, but there is a lot to unpack from the few things that did transpire over the last few days.

You give him a recap of what happened with Yoongi and subsequently what happened with Jungkook. Those are the two things weighing the most on your mind. You haven’t really processed anything; blame it on Yoongi for telling you that you have time to think things through.

One thing you love about Taehyung is that he doesn’t tell you what to do, but rather helps you sort things out on your own. Come to think of it, these conversations often take place on his couch. He’s like your own personal therapist at this point.

“Can you give me a hug?” You probably can’t ask a licensed therapist to do this, though.

He softens even more with a smile. Opening his arms, he says, “C’mere.”

You shuffle over to sink into his embrace. You sigh as you practically melt in his hold. Taehyung is a little bony, but hugging him feels exactly like hugging a giant teddy bear. He’s soft, and always knows how to hold you just tight enough, how to stroke your hair the way you like, how to be just the comforting presence you need amidst a whirlwind of anxious thoughts. And he smells like jasmine, though that might be because you keep deliberately gifting him colognes with scents that you like.

With your chin perched on his shoulder, you feel yourself start to relax, walls coming down if only briefly.

“You okay?” Taehyung asks after a moment.

You’re suddenly aware that you’re crying. You don’t know how it started, but now that the waterworks have begun, it seems like there’s no stopping. “No,” you sniffle. “Can I just…”

You feel him exhale. “Of course.”

Taehyung is one of the few people – oh who are you kidding? He might be the only one – whom you feel comfortable enough around to let yourself cry to your heart’s content. 

You’ve been feeling it for days now, even before all that shit happened. Every cell in your body is constantly vibrating, with anxiety, with guilt, with a heaviness that sinks into your bones. You’re shaking even when your hands are perfectly still. People, memories, thoughts you keep only to yourself – they all phase through you, not giving you a single moment to catch your breath.

When it rains, it pours.

Everything is weighing you down like someone has tied you to an anchor and pushed you into the unrelenting, unforgiving water. Grief is an ocean and you don’t know how to swim. Your job, your friends, the unbridled mess that you call a love life… Everything is changing and you’re the same. You’re different, but somehow still the same. Deep down, you’re still that scared little girl who doesn’t know what to make of the world. Your knees are bleeding but your mother is telling you not to cry. Why can’t you cry when you’re hurting? Every minute feels like a lifetime but every day feels like it’s going by in two seconds. Things are moving so fast. Things are moving too slow. You can’t remember the last time you actually cried. Really cried. Bawled. Sobbed. Let out all the dirt until you can see your roots again. Until you originate back to being a blank canvas. Sometimes it feels like that’s the only way that can help you see things more clearly. Your vision might blur for a while but afterward, it’ll have washed everything away. At least a little bit. So you can get your footing again.

You miss clarity, or the illusion that you have any control over your life. You miss looking out the window and have something to look forward to, even on overcast days where the sun can’t be bothered to bring you light. You miss hearing your heart beat a melody that doesn’t ache, doesn’t rattle you to the core. Pieces of you have been held together by nothing but tape and glue for the longest time. Eventually, they’ll deteriorate, and you’ll go back to being skin and bones always on the verge of falling apart.

Some of your best writing was never meant for anybody to hear. The best lines that you’ve scribbled down are diary entries disguised as music, as poetry. They’re results of your lowest and weakest moments, it just happens that there was a journal lying around and you thought that if you had to keep all that sadness inside for a second longer, you would burst. Those immortalized lines represent your heartbreak, your self-hatred, your sorrow and your grief. They come from a lifetime of unshed tears, from the burden of having a heart that feels too much but is always silenced. Words are your escape when time rushes through you like a child skipping stones. Everything hurts all the time but no one knows and you don’t bother explaining to anyone how you wish you could be a different person living a different life because it seems like the universe has made a mistake with this one. How it feels like a divine power has miscalculated and misread your false stoicism as resilience. Just because a person carries it well doesn’t mean they have to carry it at all. 

Sometimes you like to muse that if anyone could catch a glimpse of what it’s like inside, they’d think, Wow. How are you holding all of that weight? How are you so silent through it all? How do you live with an ache so allconsuming that I can hardly see you underneath it?

It’s the only way you know how to express yourself. But even then, when you’re screaming and burning, you’re still quiet. Those words are your heart on paper, raw and bleeding all over the place, covered in a million cracks that no one can see or even pay enough attention to notice. They’re there whether anybody likes it or not. They’re right there, red ink staining white pages, begging in a voice small like a child asking for love. Please see me. I’m here. Nobody taught me how to swim. Please see me.

But nobody does. They walk past you every day. They sit with you, smile at you and laugh with you. They leave you. They stay. They break your heart. Even when they love you, nobody sees you.

You love Taehyung, but you don’t think he understands. He knows you better than almost everyone in this world and he tries to help you in any way he can, but at the end of the day, maybe this isn’t something that a person can understand even if they want to. It’s worse, to realize that perhaps it isn’t because people don’t care enough to see it, but that no matter how hard they try, they can’t.

The only person who has ever come the closest is Jungkook, with his big doe eyes that always see through you and see into you. Sometimes, you think there might be parts of you that he could see but you still don’t. He knew things about yourself that you never want anybody to find out, and he loved you anyway. He went the lengths that nobody ever did because they all gave up after a while. Someone once told you that you felt like a fortress wall impossible to climb, that nobody had the time, the patience to wait for you. In other words, you weren’t worth it. Not worthless, just not worth the effort it would take to break down your walls.

But Jungkook showed up and tried, every day. The one person that you never saw coming. You might have resisted at first, but then you became his biggest supporter. You were rooting for him to know you, how fucked up is that? You were right there. He was so close.

And then he stopped.

You suppose that’s what makes everything awful now – to know that you should let go of him when he’s the only person who ever came that close.

You don’t know how long Taehyung has had to sit here, comforting you like this, but at one point, your stomach starts growling and you feel your best friend trying to hold back a giggle. Jungkook might have mastered the art of loving you, but Taehyung is an expert at comforting you.

“Shut up.” You wipe away the dampness on your cheeks with the back of your hand and push Taehyung off. “Crying makes me hungry.”

“Should I order us fried chicken then?”

“And soju. Get some soju too.”

Jimin is a strategic trickster. There was no dance practice. He just ran around his apartment ten times until his breathing turned ragged, which if you ask anyone, was completely unnecessary. He’s very extra, but at least it was effective.

After he got off the phone with you, Jimin immediately went to your shared phone tracker app – today was one of those times where it proves to be the most useful. He stared at the little circle with a silly photo of you as it moved from your address to Taehyung’s with a couple pit stops along the way. Jimin giggled to himself when he saw your circle meet Taehyung’s, because at that point you two must have realized already that you’d been swindled. Of course, there was always a chance of you leaving the moment you figured out you had come all that way for no reason at all, but when Jimin saw after a couple of hours that the two circles are still next to each other, he knew that you and Taehyung made up already.

Jimin sends a message to your group chat, a simple hello but Taehyung knows what he’s trying to get at. The text thread shared by the three of you lights up with a selfie of you and Taehyung each holding a chicken drumstick and wearing a content smile. In the background, there are some soju bottles, a box of chicken and some fries.

Jimin doesn’t question why your eyes look a little puffier than usual. He just replies with a smiley emoji and a thumbs up. The triumph of his mini victory almost makes him forget that there’s someone else in his home.

Jungkook peeks over Jimin’s shoulder to peek at his phone, curious to see what’s making his friend so delighted. When he sees you and Taehyung on Jimin’s screen, he sinks again, heart sitting in the pit of his stomach. The words you told him just the day before ring loud in his ears, as if they haven’t been stuck on his mind, playing on a loop. 

You’re such a fucking hypocrite.

You weren’t wrong, but man, did that feel like a punch in the gut.

He goes to sit across from Jimin, taking note of every single sound that notifies his friend of a new message. For the first time, he feels like an outsider, like he’s intruding on a private moment.

“I fucked up,” Jungkook admits quietly, cracking open a can of beer and taking a long sip. It makes Jimin look up and put away his phone. “With Y/N,” Jungkook clarifies.

“Yeah, I’ve been informed. That was the stupidest thing you’ve done in a while.”

“In a while? When was the last time I did something stupid?”

Jimin doesn’t even have to think about it. He answers right away, “When you left her.”

Jungkook hums, unclear whether the noise is meant in agreement or just in acknowledgment. His tongue darts out to swipe across his dry lips before he breathes out. “I don’t know what to do. She hasn’t replied to any of my texts. I feel like a fucking asshole.”

“From what I’ve been told, you were a fucking asshole,” Jimin says lightly, his words emphasized with a chuckle like he finds Jungkook’s predicament so funny. “I can’t believe you would say that shit about Yoongi to her right after he confessed.”

Cue a pregnant pause, and a pair of doe eyes staring right into Jimin’s skull, unable to decipher if what he’s hearing is a joke or not.

“Yoongi– what?”

Jimin slaps himself internally. Shit. It slipped, he swears. “Nothing,” he sighs, but he knows it wouldn’t be dropped so easily.

“No. Not nothing,” Jungkook sits up straight and puts his chilled beer down on the table, missing the coaster entirely just to piss off his friend. “The fuck do you mean Yoongi confessed? Confessed what?”

Jimin sighs with pursed lips. “What else? What do you think he confessed to?”

Jungkook gulps, and blinks a few times. When? Why? Was that the reason you looked so distraught yesterday before all that shit went down between you and him? Who confesses to someone in a freaking break room?

Then Jungkook remembers that you and Yoongi went out for drinks last night. What did he say? What did you say? His stomach churns at the thought of something�� happening between the two of you.

Jimin takes in his friend’s dumbfounded expression. “Why are you shocked?” he asks. “I thought you expected something like this. Isn’t it why you spewed all that crap about Yoongi flirting with her?”

“Fuck, I don’t know! It feels like the guy is out to get me for some goddamn reason. I thought he was just playing with Y/N to piss me off!”

Jimin shakes his head, looking thoughtful. “Yoongi wouldn’t do that to her.”

“How would you know?”

“Because when they first worked together, from the things that she told us, the stuff that Yoongi would do for her, Taehyung and I thought he liked her back then too,” Jimin says. “This has nothing to do with you.”

It sucks. It fucking sucks.

“Should I go over there?” Jungkook asks, a newfound sense of urgency in his voice that borderlines panic. He’s acting like this fact that Jimin just dumped upon him is unraveling just as this conversation is taking place, but in reality, he’s one of the last people to know. 

“And tell her what? If you’ve said sorry a million times and she hasn’t responded, then saying it one more time won’t change anything.”

“What am I supposed to do when I see her tomorrow?”

“Nothing? Are you incapable of leaving things alone? If she wants to ignore you, let her ignore you. If she wants to yell at you, let her yell at you. If she wants nothing to do with you, let her do that too. Why do you keep making things worse for yourself?”

Jungkook runs a frustrated hand through his hair. “So your solution is for me to just let her hate me?”

Jimin levels him with a look, which just annoys him even more. “You had no problem with that before.”

“If you’re not gonna help me, should I ask Taehyung then?”

“Don’t go to Tae about this.”

“Why not?”

“Just don’t,” Jimin snaps, and it makes Jungkook falter for a few seconds before the petulance in him clouds his better judgment.

“Why? He’s her best friend. They’re practically joined at the hip. He’s gotta be able to help me with this.”

“You really want to go to Taehyung for advice on how to suck up to your ex-girlfriend? He’s the most protective of her. What makes you think he would be willing to help you?”

“He’s my friend too, isn’t he? Shouldn’t he want to help all of us be civil with each other?”

“Yeah, he’s your friend. I’m your friend and Y/N’s too. And you’re right, all of us should get along, but we shouldn’t be put in a situation where we’d have to try. You did that to us and nothing is going to be the same again. I don’t even know why you did it. You kept your mouth shut for years no matter how hard me and Taehyung tried to get it out of you. Now you suddenly can’t make peace with the consequences of your actions? Now you want us to help you win over the person you fucked over, who is also our closest friend? I don’t get you, JK. I’m starting to regret not letting Taehyung punch you back then.”

Jungkook stares at his friend. Is this shock that he’s feeling? He still remembers that night, because he doesn’t forget a lot of things. He can’t forget it. He had never seen Taehyung – who is usually so calm and cordial – get that angry before. His friend, who is a saint of a man, felt so much rage toward Jungkook that Jimin had to physically hold him back.

“What? Why are you looking at me like that?” Jimin asks. “You’re not used to me not being on your side all the time?”

He knows that. The only person who seems to be on Jungkook’s side is himself, and sometimes he isn’t sure if this is even true at all. What you told him at the dance studio’s opening party, what Jimin is telling him now, and even the things that Taehyung shouted at him a couple of years back – it’s all true. He knows these things already, but it feels different to hear them from other people. You’re all right; nobody is overreacting. To an outsider, it might come across as harsh, but to anyone who knows anything, it’s rightfully deserved.

Nevertheless, Jungkook admits quietly, “Actually, yeah.”

Jimin sighs, because he knows that his friend has no malicious intent toward you or toward anyone. Jimin knows that Jungkook doesn’t mean to hurt you, any more than he already has. Jungkook is even more crazed now that Yoongi is somehow a factor in all of this. It’s the insecurities bubbling at the surface. He’s panicking and he can’t even see straight. This is just his own stupid take on fight or flight. It was flight for a while, and now apparently it’s not. Jimin doesn’t really understand it, but he gets that this is his friend’s way of dealing with shit. “I tried, man. I did. But it’s really, really hard to have your back on this.”

Jungkook is well aware of it too – that to leave you alone is probably the best thing he can do at this point. Everything he says or does seems to backfire; instead of pulling you closer, all he manages to do is push you further away and make you hate him more than you already do. 

But in a way, isn’t that a good thing? Better to have you hate him than be indifferent toward him. After all, there’s a thin line between love and hate. You yourself blurred this line long ago. You can do it again, can’t you?

Jungkook sits there for a while longer to finish his beer, even though he doesn’t have anything else to say. It’s clear what Jimin’s stance on this is, and no matter what he says, it’s unlikely that anyone will help him try and get back in your good graces. 

Before he leaves, Jimin says something that makes him nauseous. Makes him want to fucking cry and kick something and speed over to your apartment just so you could reassure Jungkook that he’s still the one you hate the most. That all of your feelings, whether they’re good or bad, are still reserved for him and only him.

It isn’t what his best friend should tell him, but it’s what a good friend would say. It's not about Jungkook, it's not about Jimin or Taehyung or anyone else. It's about you, who has been hurt the most here.

“If she wants to choose Yoongi, let her do that too.”

[10:48] Yoongi: Attachment: 2 Images.

[10:49] Yoongi: got yelled at for showing up puffy yesterday

You tap on the notifications and the photos pop up within seconds. It’s Yoongi at his Valentino shoot probably. He never used to send you stuff like this, nor asked you to come watch him at his photoshoots. Why would he? 

You zoom in on his face to inspect if he really was puffy, but you can’t really tell. Maybe if you were a makeup artist with a sharper eye, you would see it. But under your regular-person gaze, everything seemed fine. Yoongi looked handsome in the pictures.

[10:55] You: you don’t look puffy to me

[10:57] Yoongi: so how do i look to you? ;)

[10:58] You: the fits look good

[11:01] Yoongi: i wasn’t asking about the fits

[11:05] You: and i’m telling you the fits look good anyway

[11:07] Yoongi: what about the model?

[11:10] You: are you fishing for compliments?

[11:11] Yoongi: what if i am?

[11:14] You: the model looks Not Puffy

[11:16] Yoongi: you’re no fun ;(

You consider your next reply for a moment. It doesn’t seem like that big a deal. You want to send it. It seems innocent enough, and it’s the truth. A simple praise can’t hurt, right?

Your fingertips tingle just typing the words out. You’re suddenly so jittery for some reason as your thumb hovers over the arrow symbol that would whoosh away your message. It's a good kind of jittery. You might even say that you’re excited.

[11:22] You: the model looks good too

You put your phone face-down on the table, not even checking when it vibrates with Yoongi’s response to your latest text. It’s so weird that you’re feeling like this, maybe because it’s been so long since someone has shown an actual interest in you? Or is it because it’s Yoongi? If it were anyone else, would you still react the same?

It’s weird, but not necessarily weird in a bad way. You just aren’t used to it, or it’s been such a long time that you forgot what it feels like to be… wanted? You don’t think about it often but it’s true, you’ve missed the thrill of being chased.

“So… word on the street is you have a secret song.”

Seokjin’s voice makes you glance up, wondering who he could be talking to when the only people in the room beside him are you and Jungkook – whom you haven’t spoken a word to all morning despite him glancing not-so-subtly at you every two seconds. When you got here this morning, there was already a chai latte on the table with your name on it. The order was too specific for it to be Seokjin, but you didn’t say anything.

“The street?” you ponder for a moment, knowing exactly who the culprit is. “Is that what Yoongi calls himself these days? He’s been here for what? A couple weeks? And he’s already blabbed to you.”

“So it’s true?” Seokjin leans back in his chair, a mischievous glint in his eyes. “Yoongi said it’s real good. Top shelf kinda stuff. And you know he never says things like that.”

It’s not a song, or at least that isn’t what you would call it. Maybe more like an essay composed of sentences that go together like misfit puzzle pieces. You don’t think you would ever rework it and pitch it to anyone because it’s yours and it’s personal. You would never tell anyone about it, and Yoongi wouldn’t have come to know about its existence if he hadn’t stumbled across it in your journal by accident.

“Don’t listen to Yoongi,” you say. “At this point, I feel like you should know that Yoongi tends to exaggerate sometimes.”

“He never seems to be exaggerating when it comes to you,” Seokjin muses. You almost blush, thinking about what else Yoongi could’ve told Seokjin. He doesn’t notice the split second in which your cheeks redden just the slightest, or he doesn’t mind it enough to comment. “What’s the title?”

You shrug, saying nothing.

“You can’t even tell me the title? Damn, Y/N. Are you the CIA?”

“I’m not telling you because there is no title. There’s not even a song, just something I go back to sometimes. It’s mostly just word vomit. I promise you, it’s nothing.”

“Tell that to Yoongi. He told me whoever’s gonna get that song is one hell of a lucky bastard.”

Again, what is it with the praise? You know working with Yoongi and being associated with his last album gave your career a boost, but you weren’t aware that he was talking about you with other people. Maybe he only does it with Seokjin because they’re close, but still, it makes you itch with curiosity.

“By any chance are you gonna give it to… me?” Seokjin asks, and seems to immediately hear how flawed it sounds. You stare at him blankly, trying to bite back an amused smile, and even Jungkook turns his head to look too. Seokjin’s ears turn red in an instant. “Okay, that came out kinda wrong. I’m really, really sorry. But you know what I mean.”

You continue to stare at him until his face is so flushed, you swear he’s like a tomato that’s about to burst. You can see why Yoongi likes to tease people this way. “Okay, boss,” you acquiesce with a laugh, relieving Seokjin of the fear that he genuinely offended you. “If the song ever gets to see the light of day, I’ll make sure to ask you to lend your voice.”

“Ah, so you admit it’s a song.” He grins brightly at your empty promise, making you roll your eyes half-heartedly. He goes back to his normal shade in a minute, no longer ridiculously red like a cartoon character. “What’s it about?”

You ponder his question silently, missing the way Jungkook takes this moment to glance at you. When you look up again, he’s already averting his gaze.

What is it about? That’s a question that you yourself have never really considered. It’s about everything and it’s about nothing. It’s love, it’s loss, it’s the infinite in-between. You give Seokjin an answer that won’t satisfy him, but it’s the truth.

“I haven’t figured it out yet. I’ll let you know when I do.”

He tuts at you, like he was expecting the obscurity from you anyway. “You’re really not beating the CIA allegations,” he says.

You flip him the bird, which only compels him to stick out his tongue and make a face at you. Then, he diverts his attention to the person who hasn’t contributed anything this whole time.

“JK, why are you so quiet today? We’re not gonna eat you.”

Jungkook mutters something to Seokjin that you don’t quite catch because the words come out of his mouth like an inarticulate mess, which is so unlike him. He sounds jumpy, like he’s too nervous to speak in front of you. Seokjin’s eyes land on you again as he mouths a confused What?

You just shrug, and Seokjin has to take Jungkook’s weird response as him having an off day. The man checks his phone, lets out a quiet whine, then addresses the both of you. “I have a shoot this afternoon so you two will have to hold down the fort, by the way.”

You come back from your solo lunch date to an empty studio.

Well, almost empty. There’s something new that wasn’t there before.

Another chai latte waiting for you equates to another apology hoping to be acknowledged. The paper cup is still hot when your hand reaches out to touch it. You sink into your chair with a sigh. You could laugh at yourself for feeling so nostalgic at the sight of a beverage in the middle of a workday.

Jungkook walks in about 15 minutes later, and the air turns suffocating at his arrival. He feels it too, you know he does. 

You chew on your bottom lip until it starts to hurt, bite down on it until it almost bleeds.

“Jungkook,” you say, catching his attention. It looks like he didn’t expect you to initiate any conversation. It’s not like you want to, but you have to. You keep having to do this, because he just wouldn’t listen. “Stop buying me drinks.”

It translates to: Stop saying sorry. Stop trying to make things right. Stop doing things you think would make me happy. Stop making me have the same argument with you over and over again.

“Because you wouldn’t hear me out,” he says, and proceeds to repeat the one thing that you’re sick of hearing from him. “I’m sorry.”

“Stop apologizing,” you verbalize it. “If it’s not about work, I don’t think it’s necessary for me to hear it, Jungkook. I don’t want to hear it.”

“You do need to hear it. Because I can’t function properly until you know how sorry I am.”

“Well, that sounds like a you problem.”

“Y/N.”

“What?”

“Hear me out,” he says, sounding a little firmer now but you still catch the crack in his voice. “Please.”

Jungkook must take the way you hesitate to shut down him as reluctant permission for him to keep going, because he stands up and moves to a spot closer to you. Not close enough that he could reach out and touch you, but enough for you to see the tiny mole under his bottom lip and how it quivers when he looks at you.

Fuck. You’re letting him win again.

“Okay, fine. Talk then. I’m listening. You’re sorry, right? You keep saying you’re sorry for everything, but what exactly is everything? What are you even sorry about? Are you sorry about annoying me right now, or are you sorry about being a prick the other day, or are you sorry about leaving me five years ago? When did you become this pathetic, Jungkook?”

“W–what?”

“When did you become so pathetic?” you repeat. “If you had to come back, couldn’t you come back as someone better? Someone who’s sure of himself and has a good life, not this… person who has to grovel at my feet for forgiveness. Even when you were at your lowest, you weren’t like this. I don’t even know who this Jungkook is. What happened to you?”

If you think that you saw him at his lowest, then you’re wrong. He didn’t hit rock bottom until he’d left you and had to live with what he chose to do. 

“You’re right. I am pathetic,” Jungkook agrees, dropping his gaze to the floor like he’s ashamed. “But fuck, I’m trying to be worthy of you.”

It’s a truth that he doesn’t want to face, doesn’t want to admit how very real it is until you’ve just said it and it fucking guts him. He knows his friends pity him sometimes, even if they don’t want to view him as someone to be pitied. No matter how much of a front he puts up, he knows that Jimin and Taehyung see right through him. They won’t say it to his face, and for that Jungkook has gotten away with avoiding this fact for so long. But to hear it from you, to watch you spell it out for him, it hurts.

He wants to mention Yoongi, but he doesn’t know how to phrase it in a way that wouldn’t immediately aggravate you. After all, bringing up Yoongi is what got him into this mess, isn’t it?

Regardless, he wants to ask you a question that he already knows the answer to. What does Yoongi have that he doesn’t? The answer is: A lot of things. Yoongi has a lot of things that Jungkook doesn’t, one of them being the self-assurance to not run away when it comes to you and what you deserve.

He wants to ask, but he doesn’t, because he’s scared it might drive you right into Yoongi’s arms and Jungkook can’t compete with a man like that.

He can barely keep up even with just himself in the running.

There’s a big question mark that pops up in your head, along with a slight sting in your eyes that you blink away. You’ve never seen Jungkook like this before. This whole time, was it not only you who was miserable?

He looks so small that it breaks your heart. For once, you aren’t sad for yourself but you’re sad for him. It never occurred to you that he could’ve been lonely too, having to keep all of this inside because you know he didn’t share it with anyone else. You catch a glimpse of him again, like you did when you were making ramen together in your kitchen while a storm was raging outside. In a lot of ways, Jungkook is still that kid stuck in an adult’s body, lost and scared and loved you. It feels like you could’ve seen him in the same ocean while you were just trying to keep your head above water.

The sight of him, so vulnerable and astray, placates you. Your resolve crumbles, but not like it was ever that strong to begin with. You suppose you could see why he was being a jerk to you. Even though it doesn’t justify what he said, you understand just a little bit where he was coming from. You find yourself forgiving him for some of it. It’s part of letting things go, right?

But no matter how much you want to reach out and comfort him, you know you shouldn’t. What are you supposed to do in a situation like this? You’re confused and it feels like you two have been going around in a circle, looking for a solution that doesn’t seem to exist.

Coexisting doesn’t work. Telling him to leave things alone doesn’t work. What else can you do?

Why do you have to resolve a problem that isn’t even yours? Jungkook says he’s trying, but his efforts keep making your life harder and harder. You practically blew up in his face, then apologized for being harsh even though you were fully aware that you had nothing to be sorry for. You called him a hypocrite and now you’re ready to cave just because he’s on the verge of shedding a few tears. This constant back and forth between your anger and your reluctance to see that anger through is possibly the thing that’s hindering you.

You can’t – and shouldn’t – accommodate him anymore. You have to put your foot down, no matter how difficult it is with the lingering ghost of your past love.

Because you’re always weak when it comes to Jungkook.

Because you’re still holding onto something.

Because Jungkook will always be the first person that you have ever loved, and those four years meant a lot to you even if they didn’t to him. Maybe it’s even fair to say that you might never truly get over it, and that doesn’t have to be such a terrible thing. Maybe he was never the person you thought he was, or maybe you never meant as much to him as he did to you. Somehow, that’s okay. It’s manageable because it’s routine at this point. You’ve internalized it. The years have taught you that sometimes, things get shitty just because they can and you just have to deal with it.

The intrinsic pain of the human experience. C’est la vie.

What a world this is.

Is it bad that you’re thinking about Yoongi in a moment like this?

Yoongi could be your future, if you’d let him.

You should let him. Maybe this is your answer right here. 

“Jungkook, let’s stop.” He looks at you with crestfallen eyes, but you have to keep going. The only way out is through. “Let’s stop. You want me to listen to you, but you haven’t been listening to me. I don’t have the strength to keep this up anymore, and I have told you that repeatedly but you wouldn’t listen. Jungkook, move on.”

You pretend not to notice how his lip trembles even more. “What if I don’t want to move on?”

This feels like a conversation that should’ve happened ages ago. Five years ago, you should’ve screamed at him, cried with him, held each other as you both fell apart. He stripped you of that right and gave you no say at all.

“You’re being awfully selfish,” you tell him, but in your head, you’re already thinking about what his words actually mean. 

“Have you completely written me off then? Is there nothing at all that I can do? Because I would do anything if you asked. You know that.”

Your throat is so dry that it feels like you’re swallowing sand. You dig everything back up again until you find the memory of that day hidden at the very bottom.

It’s terrible. He’s making you relive it again.

“I remember calling for you and you didn’t even look back,” you say, but your voice breaks toward the end. “I can’t trust you anymore.”

Jungkook just stares at you then, and for the longest time, neither of you say anything. This is the first time that you two have addressed the problem, properly addressed it instead of half-heartedly sweeping it under the rug like you tried to do. 

You breathe in, he breathes out. You hate the way you feel, and you resent the way he looks like he’s breaking down just as badly. There are tears in those eyes, tears that Jungkook doesn’t let spill because he defiantly wipes them away with the back of his hand after a moment. 

When he speaks next, you want the world to end.

“Then I’ll earn your trust back. I’ll do whatever it takes. I’ll spend the rest of my life making it up to you. I will.”

— all rights reserved © jeonqkooks. reposting, translating and/or modifying is not permitted by any means. [posted january 21, 2023]

[wilderness-of-thoughts]

Before :

"..."

"..."

"... So.... How did you do that?"

"Will you believe me if I tell you that my boss did it because he was angry that the faucet was leaking?"

"...nooo?"

"Soooo, that was a nasty, spiteful, selfish little imp who made himself at home in my apartment."

Your probably-boyfriend pressed his lips together tighter as he stared at the faucet.

"Is your apartment haunted?"

"By the worst possible devil."

"Should I find you an exorcist?"

"Naaaah. I have a strong frying pan."

Luca, because we need to give a name to your probably-boyfriend fixed your faucet. The metal was so twisted, bent, contorted, and tied in a bow that it was hard to believe it was made by a human. It's no wonder that Luca believed the haunting version more than the one that your boss did it. Although both versions were true.

Gojo didn't like him. He was curious about what kind of guy was trying to usurp you, true, but he still didn't like him. And he didn't like the fact that he had no actual logical reason to dislike him. Luca was normal, average looking, average-well-built, stereotypical nerd with a beard. He was nice to you, you didn't complain about him, he didn't hurt you, he didn't cheat on you (unless fapping to 2D chicks counts as cheating), and he doesn't swear.

Overall, you didn't come across too badly. And that pissed Gojo off the most. If he had any logical reason to get rid of the guy from your life, he could have explained this strange feeling. Like he was losing something. Like he was losing something... Someone.. very important.

His ego was huge.

You were his subordinate. More precisely, the subordinate of his subordinate, so! You were his double subordinate! But why did it hurt so much? Not even physically. Gojo remembered perfectly the pain and emptiness after Geto, words could not describe what he felt then. And as Gojo sat now, hidden in your room, listening, he felt as if that same nasty feeling was lurking somewhere around the corner.

His ego was huge.

"Alright, done. I hope the demon won't destroy your tap now..." Luca wiped the sweat from his forehead, and you, like an idiot, checked if water would come out of the tap. "Hey, can I take this junk home?" he asked, holding the old faucet in his hand.

"Um, sure?" You tilted head to the side. "What do you need it for?"

"It'll look great on next D&D session." He explained with an innocent smile as he packed his haul into his backpack.

Luca would probably have stayed with you longer, but he made one big mistake that evening. When you were standing at the sink washing dishes and getting ready to make something to eat - Luca entered your room. He first headed towards your computer, probably to show you another stupid video he dug up from the depths of the internet. But when the machine turned on and showed your new desktop with Satoru's selfie, Luca grimaced slightly.

"Is this some kind of model?" He shouted, turning on the browser.

"WHAT?!" You shouted back from the kitchen.

"That handsome guy from your computer!"

"oh.. he..." You were now peeking through the door frame, holding a piece of raw meat in hand, "he's my boss"

"... Huh?"

"Just before he got sick, he was here and changed my wallpaper." You smiled innocently. Luca minimized the window and looked at the photo again.

"... Smash." He said after a while. You rolled your eyes as you went back to the kitchen. Luca continued, “Do you think I’d be a top or a bottom?”

"With Gojo? Hmmm I think... Bottom"

Luca leaned against the doorframe with his arms folded across his chest, looking at you preparing food. You finally have a working sink and you can cook something without a problem! You could do this before, but washing dishes in the bathroom seemed... Strange.

"I'm sure I'd be the top. Just look at him, he seems so... " Luca thought for a moment. You glanced at men out of the corner of your eye, curious about what he had to say, and froze. A red glow emanating from behind him. Oh shiiit...

"Gojo is not just top or bottom! Gojo is everything!" You shouted loudly so that little Satoru standing behind Luca could hear you. At the same time, you dropped what you were doing. "Does it matter anyway? You don't know him... And you probably never will." You said, approaching him with a nervous, forced smile.

"Unless you invite him to the wedding." He replied, looking at you with a light and tender smile. He was unaware that he was digging his own grave.

"um..." You never knew how to answer him in moments like this. On the one hand, you don't want to hurt him by saying no, but on the other hand, you're getting on in years and you should think about the future. Half a loaf is better than no bread - They say. Luca didn't wait for you to answer him though. In his opinion, you were a full-fledged couple, so he simply turned around to go back to your room.

"New?" He asked, snapping you out of your thoughts.

"Huh?"

"That figure kind of resembles your boss." Luca leaned over Gojo, who was pretending to be one of the dolls. Satoru got into a sitting position and closed his eyes. He wanted to tear Luca apart and honestly, he didn't need a reason to do it anymore. You saw Luca reach out to take Gojo in slow motion. Your heart was pounding in your ears. You'll become a probably-widow before you become a probably-wife if you don't stop him now!

"DON'T TOUCH HIM!" You screamed so loudly that you surprised yourself. Luca froze and looked at you in shock, Gojo too. You had never raised your voice like that, your face was red, you were breathing fast and before the Chosen One knew it he was already in your hands. You hugged him tightly to your chest as if he was your most precious treasure, at the same time you looked at Luca in such a hostile way that he didn't know how to react.

And then, as if by magic various objects started flying towards him... He seriously considered the story with the demon.

∆∆∆

It was the middle of the night, you were on your bed with Gojo lying on you. After the bites in the morning and his behavior around your maybe-boyfriend, you hadn't spoken to him. But this time, unusually, Satoru didn't mind. There was too much going on in his little head, and if you talked to him, he might say too much.

His ego was huge.

It's like he has multiple selves in his head, all shouting contradictory information at the same time. Gojo was glad that you found someone who may not be worthy of you, but at least he wouldn't hurt you - but at the same time he was bitter that you had time to find someone at all. He wanted to yell at you, hurt you with some strong words, insult you, call you weak - and at the same time praise the ground you walk on, so that you would understand that you are capable of someone better.

Unable to control the chain of these contradictory thoughts, Satoru could only let them flow. He tried to suppress them, but he couldn't. His little fists clenched the material of your shirt, his cat ears quivering slightly.

Chaos. There was chaos in his head. To make matters worse, as if sensing his emotions, you didn't sleep. You petted him tenderly the whole time. Slowly the warmth of your hand became more and more apparent to him. The screams in his head died down to the sound of your breathing.

Your breath. How can so little mean so much to him?

"Hello..." You whispered quietly as if you were greeting him after a long journey.

"Hi" he replied equally quiet.

"We both know you'd be top."

He forced a laugh and turned his head so as not to look at you. Sometimes he wondered if your brain was on vacation.

That night, despite everything, he slept. In his sleep, he gently nibbled on the skin between your collarbones.

Next:

[discotitsposts]

allow me

reid insisting on carrying readers bags

use of she/her

After being dragged out of bed by Penelope, whose apartment you had spent the night at after having a little too much to drink, you go into her bathroom and try to make yourself presentable for work.

When you arrive you and Penelope continue giggling about last night. You plop down at your desk laughing. Spencer is staring at you so you wave at him and his pen flies out of his hand and lands on the floor.

“I was not that drunk. I knew where I was.” You say.

“You asked if we had landed in Oz yet.” Penelope giggles. The corner of Spencer’s mouth turns up in a slight smile at the thought of you, sloshed, asking if you were in Oz yet. Penelope says good bye to you and leaves to go back to her bat cave. Then Hotch steps out of his office and looks down into the bullpen.

“Reid, (Y/L/N),Morgan. You’re going to be going with Rossi for a conference in California. Pack for warm weather, you’re leaving tomorrow is that alright?” You three all nod excitedly. You guys would have to be crazy to not want to go to sunny California to escape the freezing cold of Virginia in January.

“Oh come on!” Prentiss complains. “I wanna go!”

“We need you here Emily.” Hotch stares seriously at her. Emily scoffs and rolls her eyes at you.

You laugh at her mockingly. “Ha ha! Hotchy needs you here. No sunny California for you.”

“Not fair.” She crosses her arms and leaves, presumably to go complain to Penelope.

“Wonder if we’ll meet any special ladies, how about it Reid. You like Cali girls?” Morgan punches Reid’s shoulder jokingly. Reid rubs his arm where Morgan punched him. “Not really.” He looks up at you.

“Hey how about you Princess, you like the beach guys with surfing muscles.”

“She doesn’t.” Reid quickly shuts down Morgan’s statement annoyed. He knows you well.

“Yeah Reid’s right it’s not really my thing. I like my guys weak and nerdy. I am excited to see the sights though.”

“Only sights I’m excited to see are the ladies!” Morgan cheers and walks off.

You shake your head and giggle.

“How about you smarty pants?” You ask nonchalantly. Using the nickname you had coined for him when you’d met.

“How about me what?” He cocks his head confused, much like a puppy would.

“You excited to see the beautiful people of California.”

“Oh, no not really.” He looks away.

“Maybe he’s excited to run into Lila again.” Morgan had come back with more coffee. He places an extra mug on your desk. You thank him and sip it. Feeling your heart break like a fragile glass vase one had thrown at a wall. You had just finally forgotten about the fling Reid had had with the actress.

“Actually, if we ran into her I’d run and hide. We didn’t exactly end on the best of terms. I think I said something wrong. She never spoke to me again.” Spencer frowns.

You can’t stand hearing this. He deserves someone wonderful.

Unfortunately, that someone couldn’t be you.

Could it?

You stand up, starting to grow more upset by the second. Feeling the tears pinch the back of your eyes. You speed walk away to the nearest empty office and keep pushing the tears back until you lock the door behind you.

“Why, hello.” You hear someone say. You scream as the rolling chair spins around. It’s Penelope.

“Pen, you startled me.” You put your hand over your heart to slow down the rapid beating.

“Startled or interrupted a crying sesh?” She taps her chin with her fluffy pink pen.

“I wasn’t crying.”

“Sure you just have pink eye or something then.”

“What are you even doing in here?” You ask her trying to change the subject.

“Well, pumpkin, I was trying to have some much needed me-time to journal without seeing icky things on my computer. Plus, Prentiss keeps trying to convince me to hack into the directors computer and put her name on the list of agents who are going to the lovely C.A. Let’s not change the subject though. You,” She slams her journal shut, “Came in here to cry.” She leans forward like the Godfather.

“On the day of your daughter’s wedding?” You imitate the movie line and laugh. Penelope cracks up and loses it laughing, “That was really funny but you’re trying to distract me. I know what goes on with you people, you’re my family.”

“Ok fine, I got a little bit upset because Reid and Morgan mentioned the whole Lila situation. What if he sees her again in California? What if she realizes she made a mistake and wants him again? What if he-“

“Pump your brakes.” Penelope quotes Morgan, “I’ve been telling you, Morgan says Reid won’t shut up about you when they’re hanging out. He’s crazy about you.” She says while spinning in the chair staring at the ceiling.

“We should make this into a girl cave.” You admire the bare office. Penelope points at you. “Good idea. We’ll only tell Prentiss and JJ though.”

“For sure.”

“Task at hand now, If you won’t tell Reid you’re also crazy about him, I’ll get Morgan and we’ll do to you and Reid what we did to Scott and Pamela.”

You gasp. “You wouldn’t dare you evil woman!” You say in shock, only half joking, a little scared.

The context was, Scott and Pamela were two people who used to work in the BAU long before you and Reid got there. They were best friends who were in love but too oblivious to see it. One day Morgan and Penelope realized they needed to team up and make this happen. Morgan told Scott he’d meet him next to an old office and Penelope had told Pam the same thing. When they arrived, Morgan and Penelope pushed them into the office and locked it. The two, stuck in the same room for a period of time talked about their feelings and had been in the middle of a hot and heavy make out when the door unlocked. They had gotten married and were now on their sixth child. Happy as can be. They were legendary as the greatest love story of the FBI.

Penelope picks up her phone. “Beep boop beep.” She pretends to dial Morgan. “Hey Morgan, we need to pull an Operation Love Makers again.” You’re laughing until she puts the phone on speaker and you hear Morgan’s laugh. “NOO!” You yell.

“Oh, it is on you smart beautiful woman.” Morgan praises Penelope. She smirks at you. Mortified at what may happen, you run out of the office and race home to pack for California. You think about fleeing the country to escape your feelings but decide against it. If anything went wrong you could follow your best friend’s advice from back home, “Deny, deny, deny.” As she had always said.

When you’re packing up your car at 4 a.m. you start to realize maybe you over packed. It was only a week, but it was also a week! Who knows what may happen. You needed all of this stuff. Both your suitcases and four duffel bags later, you arrive at the airport on the dot. 6:53 a.m.,your watch reads. You groan groggily and pull into the space next to Spencer’s car. You can hear Morgan chanting excitedly, “Private jet, private jet, private jet!”

“Allow me, m’lady.” You hear from behind you. You spin around and see Spencer reaching for your bags.

“Oh no, I have too many you don’t need to do that!” You try to pry some of the bags from his hands but he doesn’t let you. Morgan starts cackling when he sees Spencer weighed down by all your bags, stumbling. You racing to keep up with him and making sure he doesn’t topple over.

“Spencer why are you doing this? I overpacked please let me carry something. I feel really bad.”

“No I’m your baggage claim boy today.”

“What?!” You yell after him. Spencer got a sudden energy burst and ran to the jet as fast as his legs could carry him and all your luggage. “Spencer wait!”

Morgan sneaks up behind you, “Operation Love Makers is a-go. Thank you your sexiness.” He says to Penelope over the phone.

“I will anxiously await your return my handsome hero! Keep me updated!” She hangs up.

“Oh this was your doing?”

“Hey, all I said was it’s considered chivalry to carry the bags of the girl who’s the object of your affections, he’s the one who ran with it.” You look up and notice Spencer struggling to get up the stairs of the jet. He falls backward and hits the tarmac.

You run to him and yell, “Spencer! Are you alright? I told you you shouldn’t have carried that much!”

Spencer lets out a strained, “I’m fine.”

“Pretty boy just bruised his ego a little. Come on kid, you’re ok.” Morgan takes the weight of your bags off him and brings them onto the jet. You try to help him up but he refuses.

“I’m alright, really.” He stands up and gets onto the jet. You feel really bad, he got hurt because of your luggage. You’ve been feeling like the more he’s around you, the more he’ll get hurt. Maybe you should avoid him for a little bit.

When everyone’s settled on the jet, you pick one of the sofa seats and lay down. You see Morgan whispering to Spencer.

“I brought you coffee, your favorite flavor.” Spencer’s standing there smiling and holding a mug. You’re about to take it when the jet hits turbulence and poor Spencer spills the hot coffee all over himself.

“Morgan get a towel. Oh my god, Spencer I’m so sorry.” Morgan runs over with a towel and you rub it on Spencer’s shirt trying to get the coffee out.

“It’s not your fault. It’s fine, I’ll just go change.” He stands up and grabs a shirt from his bag and leaves to change in the restroom. You all hear him let out a blood curdling scream. You feel worse. Poor Spencer kept getting hurt whenever he tried to do something nice for you. You turn to Morgan.

“Stop making him do things! Operation Love Making off! I can’t stand to see him keep getting hurt.” You whisper-shout.

“It’s Operation Love Makers actually and yeah maybe it went a little off the rails. Maybe it needs to be a more ‘vanilla’ task next time. Get it?” Morgan says laughing while holding up the vanilla flavored creamer Spencer had used in your coffee. You scoff and walk away. “Come on that was funny!” He calls after you.

You don’t go near Spencer the rest of the flight. Afraid you’ll jinx him again. Your theory was turning out to be true, when you were all leaving the jet, Spencer had yet again grabbed your luggage and got down the stairs all right. Unfortunately, you two were going to be sharing a hotel room. It was when he brought them to the hotel room, he had accidentally slammed the door and didn’t realize his tie was caught in the door making him smack his face into the wall.

“Not again! Spencer are you ok?” You open the door and get his tie out.

He groans and falls to the floor. “Just fine. I look like an idiot though.”

You sit down next to him. “No you don’t. Maybe it’s me. I’m starting to think I’m a jinx.”

“No no don’t say that. It’s me, I’m just clumsy.”

“This has been happening whenever you’re around me. If you want to switch rooms I would understand.” You touch his face where he hit the door. He winces at the pain and you grab some ice wrapped in a towel and hold it on his cheek.

“Why would I want to switch when I got lucky enough to be in the same hotel room as you?”

“Lucky? Spence look at yourself. You’re bruised all over.” You frown. “You practically got third degree burns on the jet.”

“Oh so you’re the one who made the jet run into turbulence?” He smiles softly.

“No but I…”

“It’s not your fault.”

“You’re right it’s Garcia and Morgan’s”

His eyes widen, “You know?” You nod and he looks anywhere but you, he’s so ashamed for trying to get your attention.

“Spencer, you didn’t need to do all this. I was already infatuated with you from day 1.”

He throws his hands up dramatically. “Why didn’t Morgan tell me? Why didn’t you tell me?”

You shrug. “I thought you didn’t like me back.”

“The eiffel tower has 20 apartments inside it.”

“What?” You ask confused.

“I thought we were saying things that weren’t factual.”

This makes you laugh. “How many apartments does it have?”

“Two.”

“Really? Can you imagine living inside the eiffel tower?”

“That would be the worst. No privacy. All the tourists.”

“What if you were just walking around your apartment naked in the morning and someone takes a picture.” You say giggling. This cracks Spencer up too.

“I have an actual question.” Spencer’s face turns serious and it scares you.

“What?” Your eyes widen.

“Why did you bring so much luggage?” He laughs.

“Oh, you never know what you may need. I’d rather have it and not need it, than need it and not have it.”

“Good advice. Got any more?” He leans in slightly, testing the waters.

“Yeah, when a girl tells you she’s liked you back since day one it’s considerate to kiss her.”

“Allow me,” He kisses your lips, enjoying the feeling. It was like when two puzzle pieces fit together perfectly. You pull back to answer.

“Oh I allow it. You can do that whenever you want.” You say leaning back in. The pieces falling together yet again.

One hour later

Derek Morgan and Rossi are walking down the hallway of the hotel. They’re going to invite Spencer and you to have dinner. When they get to your door, they notice something.

“Do not disturb?” Rossi reads the little sign hanging on the door. “The hell are they doing?”

Morgan presses his ear to the door and hears faint moaning. “I think we should let them be alone.” He pulls away from the door and they leave.

the end

enjoy💘

i’ve had this in my drafts forever!!!!

tags 🍓-

if you would also like to be tagged in future works pls comment a 🍓

-

@whoisspence

@starshinegarcia

@fictionalobssed

@exoticisles

@in-another-april

@gallifreyan-idiocracy @reidsatellite

@luvkatryna

@kissesforspence

[tinycoded360]

Friends Out of Water Chapter 5: Meeting an Old Friend

Forest awoke the following day to sunlight filtering through the curtains and Ana stirring in his hands. He blinked open his eyes and peered down at her tiny form.

"Good morning," he whispered, his voice rough with sleep.

Ana yawned and stretched. "Good morning, Forest." She nuzzled against his palm, seeking his warmth and affection. "Did you sleep well?"

"um-hum….yes." He stroked her back with a fingertip, marveling at how small and delicate she was. "How about you? Were you comfortable?"

"Very." She peered up at him through her lashes, a shy smile curving her lips. "Your hands make the perfect bed."

Heat rose in Forest's cheeks at her words. He cleared his throat, unsure how to respond, and asked, "Are you hungry?"

Ana nodded. "Starving.

Forest sat up and climbed out of bed. "Let's get you something to eat."

He carried her downstairs to the kitchen, set her on the counter, and opened the fridge to examine its contents. "What would you like? I have fruit, yogurt, eggs..."

"Fruit sounds perfect." Ana slid across the counter until she was at the edge, peering down at the floor below.

Forest retrieved a container of blueberries from the fridge and a small bowl from the cupboard. He placed a few of the berries in the bowl, enough to seem like a feast to Ana's tiny size.

When he set the bowl on the counter, Ana dove in with enthusiasm, grabbing a blueberry between two hands and taking a bite. The blueberry was as big as her head. The juices dribbled down her chin.

“I’ll have to redesign your tank, just in case you keep changing form without any control,” Forest commented as he poured himself a bowl of cereal.

“Yea…..I guess I’ll need that.” Ana Replied aplenty. “I just don’t know what happened. I haven’t been able to control it; I’m scared I’ll change in the wrong environment.”

“I’ll ensure you're fine,” Forest reassured his tiny girlfriend. “I should probably get you some clothes too.”

Ana grinned at her giant boyfriend. “Aw, I thought you were enjoying the view.” She said with a giggle. “But yea, honestly I’d like something….It gets cold.”

Before Forest could reply, his phone buzzed with an oncoming message. Forest tapped his phone open and pulled the message up.

“It’s your friend…..she replied. She’d like to meet today at noon, at that café down the street.” Forest said with a frown.

“That’s Great! Oh! I’m so happy she’s willing to help!” Ana excitedly replied.

Forest looked down at his mouse-sized girlfriend with a deep frown. “Are you sure you want to go? I got a bad feeling about this.”

“Yes! Forest…..she’s my friend. She might not like humans, but she wouldn’t do anything to hurt me.”

“Alright,” Forest said with a sigh. He tapped a quick message to confirm to Melody that they could make it. “We should have some time to swing by the store. Maybe we can find some doll clothes that can fit you.”

“That would be wonderful.” Ana smiled. Finally, things were looking up.

****

Forest tucked Ana into his breast pocket. He had a large water bottle packed inside his backpack. Just in case Ana’s mermaid form emerged during their meeting with Melody. She was so small, she’d easily fit inside if needed.

Forest pushed open the door to the quaint Café, the bell above jingling softly. The aroma of freshly ground coffee and pastries filled the air. His gaze swept across the cozy interior, settling on the figure already seated at a corner table—she was a very pretty woman with green eyes and auburn hair. Her lips, the color of ripe cherries, were pressed into a tight line as she observed him approach, her posture stiff and unwelcoming.

"Forest," Ana's voice was hushed, barely audible over the bustle of the cafe. "That's Melody." Ana’s tiny head peaked out of his pocket, her arms folded at the top, keeping herself upright. Forest moved a hand in front of her to block her from view.

"Be patient with her; she might be a bit hostile,” Ana continued, her words tinged with sadness. "She never liked the idea of me dating humans. Thinks it's dangerous, foolish even."

"Let's hope she can put that aside for your sake," Forest muttered as he walked towards the corner table.

As he took a seat opposite Melody, he placed the water bottle down on his side and removed his hand from covering his chest pocket. Letting Ana be seen.

Melody observed Ana’s tiny form peeking out of Forest’s pocket. Her lips curled into a sneer. "So, you're the human who's been keeping my dear friend captive."

Forest frowned. "Ana isn't a captive. I'm here because I care about her, and I want to know how to help."

"Help?" Melody let out a cruel laugh. "The only way to help Ana is to release her back to the sea where she belongs. She was never meant to be with humans."

Anger flared in Forest's chest. In his pocket, he felt Ana trembling. He put a reassuring hand over the pocket, shielding her from Melody's words.

"She won’t survive at this size out there,” he said. "Besides, she wants to stay with me, and I'm going to ensure she's safe and happy."

"Safe and happy?" Melody spat. "You foolish man. You have no idea what's really happening to her, do you?"

Forest's heart pounded. "Tell me,” He demanded. "If you know how to undo this, help us, or help Ana; she’s your friend after all.”

"Melody, please," Ana pleaded from Forest's pocket, her voice trembling like a wave about to break. "I need your help."

The mermaid's gaze lingered on Ana, her expression softening for a mere moment before hardening once more. "This is no accident," Melody declared, her fingers drumming on the wood. "Your shrinking is a punishment, crafted by the clan. It's meant to kill, making the transformation unstable. The transformations will get more frequent, odds are she’ll either drown or suffocate on land. They want to ensure that those who stray... do not survive."

“Why haven’t I ever heard of this before?!” Ana asked in despair.

“It’s not well known, I’ll give you that….and how I know, well, I just know the right people,” Melody replied.

"Can it be reversed?" Forest's question was filled with urgency, his protective nature flaring.

"Perhaps." Melody tapped her long, slender fingers against the tabletop. "But only if you give her to me. You must understand, Forest," she said, the words dripping with condescension, "a human cannot possibly provide what one of our kind needs. She belongs with the merfolk. With me."

"Give her to you?" Forest echoed, his voice barely above a whisper, laced with skepticism. A knot of dread settled in his stomach as he caught the glimmer of expectation in Melody's eyes. "No," he said firmly, the decision crystallizing like ice in his veins. "I can't do that."

Melody's expression twisted. "You can't?" she sneered, her voice rising in pitch. "Or you won't, human?"

"Ana is not a possession to be handed over," Forest countered, heat creeping into his words. He felt Ana shift, her body tensing within the confines of his pocket.

"Is that so?" Melody leaned forward, her eyes alight with malice. "Then perhaps I should remind you of the stakes. If Ana continues down this path with you, death will come for her—slowly, painfully—as it was meant to."

Forest's hands clenched, his nails digging into his palms. The threat hung in the air between them, heavy and toxic. "You're supposed to be her friend," he ground out, anger seeping through the cracks of his composure.

Melody laughed; a harsh sound that made several patrons glance their way. "I am helping human. You, on the other hand, are nothing but a danger to her survival." Her gaze bore into him, full of contempt. "Your kind knows nothing of our ways, our struggles. How could you possibly hope to protect her?"

Forest glared; he couldn’t imagine parting with Ana. “Why can’t I come with?”

“Because Human, our methods are not for you to know." Melody hissed, her nostrils flaring.

“HEY! I think I should be the one to decide.” Ana yelled, her tiny hands tugging at the fabric of Forest’s shirt. “Put me down, Forest!” She demanded.

Forest's jaw clenched, but he complied. He dipped his hand into his pocket and curled his fingers around Ana’s form. She had a yellow Barbie dress on. He had trimmed and cut the dress down to size so it would fit her. It still sagged on her slight frame. Still way too big for her. But all they could find on short notice.

Forest's hands trembled slightly as he cradled Ana in his palm. His gut churned with a rotten feeling that something wasn’t right.

"Please, Forest," Ana's voice was soft as she pleaded with him. "This might be my only chance."

Forest sighed and, with great reluctance, set Ana on to the tabletop. He kept his hands nearby to easily shield or scoop her up. Ana smiled up at him and patted his thumb.

“After you help me would I be able to go back to Forest? I’m happy with him Melody……he already knows, he doesn’t mean us any harm.”

“No, you belong with us, not with humans,” Melody replied with disgust in her voice.

Ana squared her shoulders, standing straight and as tall as she could. “Then I won’t go, I’ll take my chances.”

Melody stared at her in disbelief.

Forest blushed and felt a warm feeling blossom in his chest.

Melody scoffed, “Fine, you can go back to him once you’re cured. I won’t say anything to the clan.”

“Oh! Thank you, Melody, I knew you’d understand!” Ana exclaimed. She then turned to look up at Forest. “I’ll be back in no time! I promise.”

Ana, still smiling brightly, turned to Melody again. “OK, I’m ready!”

Melody's hand swooped down like a predatory bird, her fingers closing around Ana with an eagerness that made Forest's skin crawl. Ana didn't resist, instead looking up at Forest with a mix of gratitude and fear.

"Take this," Forest said abruptly, handing Melody the water bottle. "Just in case."

Melody's eyes narrowed as she took the bottle, her look one of bemusement mixed with disdain. She tucked Ana into her cleavage, earning a yelp of surprise from Ana. Forest's frown deepened, but before he could protest on Ana’s behalf, Melody turned on her heel without another word, leaving Forest to stare after them, a hollow feeling spreading through his chest.

Author Note: A shorter chapter but i got it done. The next one should be longer than this one.

@voraciousvore @gt-daboss

[bluejaysandblackbats]

You're Just Like Quicksand

Fandom: DC Comics, Batfam, Batman Beyond

Summary: Jason Todd is ready to go into semi-retirement after fifteen years working with troubled youth, but one case in particular forces him to confront the sins of his youth and painful memories from his past.

Chapters: 14/?

Characters: Jason Todd, Terry McGinnis, Warren McGinnis, Mary McGinnis, Matt McGinnis, Bruce Wayne, Original Character(s)

Relationship(s): TBA

Additional Tags: Protective Jason Todd, Good Sibling Jason Todd, Retired Jason Todd, Multiple POV, Hurt/Comfort, Parent-Child Relationships, Canon Divergent AU, Angst, Mourning Jason Todd

Chapter Fourteen: Fathers and Sons (Terry McGinnis' POV)

I hadn’t heard from Jason in over two years, but he was at the funeral. I thought it was strange. I wondered who invited him. I wondered why he stood so far away. Mom couldn’t move. She couldn’t process any of it. So, we stood beside her as everyone paid their respects and went home. They could go home. I couldn’t. I could never go home again. I had to officially move in with Mom once they let me into the crime scene that was once my dad’s apartment. Everyone left, and I stayed behind. Mom took Matt home, and Jason finally approached. I couldn’t pretend. I resented him for letting me go without a reason. So, I let him have it. I couldn’t remember what I said, but I know it was harsh. He stood there, tall and strong with sadness in his eyes. Jason didn’t move. He didn’t flinch. I tore into him until I didn’t have any other words to describe how I felt. And without missing a beat, he said, “I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you… But I knew you were good. I wouldn’t have done that if I didn’t think you could handle it… But I missed it. Every moment.”

I swallowed hard. My stomach was in knots. It only took a few little sentences for me to forgive him. I knew he’d understand my grief. My anger. My emptiness. “What are you doing here?” I questioned, my voice breaking as I asked him. 

“I promised Mary that I’d look after you while you got your things. I also promised her that I’d try to get you to eat. We could get whatever you want,” Jason whispered, “We’ll go eat… And then we’ll get your stuff. I promise.” 

“Why? Why now?” I asked. 

“Because I lost my parents as a kid. And in retrospect, I think I needed someone who could show me how to process grief without being pacified with emotionally addictive coping mechanisms. Are you alright with me coming around for a little while?” Jason questioned. I wanted to say no. I wanted to pretend I didn’t need him, but I couldn’t lie. I nodded. 

** 

After Jason took me to eat, we went to the apartment. Jason came with me, and he stood by quietly while I packed everything that I could into a box. Everything I owned fit into one big box. It made me feel sick and empty in my chest. I looked up at Jason, almost pleading for him to feel it for me. Feel my pain.  

“One of the kids in my program took my family from me. He got too attached… And he—. He developed a jealous streak. He thought I passed his case on because of my children… And he took them from me. I was afraid that those feelings would keep me from helping you… And I didn’t want to make the same mistake of passing your case onto someone else, so I stepped away. Besides, you were so independent. You didn’t need me as much. You and Warren were doing alright. But, he—. He called me. He said something changed a few months ago. What was it?” Jason questioned. The confession seemed out of place. 

“It wasn’t like that. I get into with some guy at school sometimes, but it’s—. Dad was swamped at work. He didn’t have the time to talk about it anymore… So, I stopped explaining. I’m not messing around with gangs or stealing anymore. I swear,” I promised him. He nodded. “I would’ve understood if you told me what happened to your kids. I’m sorry, Jason.”

“It’s—. Thank you… I probably should’ve explained, but I—. It’s a lot to dredge up,” Jason replied, “Which is why I want you to talk about this on your own time. I’ll be available whenever you feel like talking about him. I spent a lot of time talking to Warren. We became friends. He was kind to me.”

“What did you have in common with my dad?” I questioned. 

Jason smiled as tears slid down his cheeks. “He had a normal life… Normal problems… But this—.”

“Feels wrong… I don’t think Dad would’ve opened the door for those twips,” I interrupted him.

Jason nodded as he looked around. He must’ve seen something because his jaw tightened. “Terry, after today… don’t come back here. Something’s not right. This isn’t—. If you see something weird, I want you to call me,” Jason whispered. He stepped into the doorway, and I could tell there was something wrong in his eyes. A switch flipped, and he scanned over everything. 

“What is it?” I questioned. Jason shook his head as he took me to his car. His face went dark, and he looked around. 

“I don’t know… I just feel strange about all of this, Terry. Get in the car, and I’ll take you to Mary’s. It’s getting dark,” Jason whispered. He shut the door and got in the driver’s seat. I looked at Jason. 

“Does this mean I’m back in the program?” I asked. I felt stupid as soon as I asked it. 

“Is that what you want?” Jason questioned. 

He wanted me to say it. Not for his ego. I don’t think he had one, but it was all for me. He wanted to know what I wanted. And he needed me to ask him. I started hyperventilating, and Jason tapped the dashboard between us until I calmed down. “I don’t know what I’m gonna do without my dad,” I mumbled.

“And I can’t fill that space, but I can create a space for you to cope if you’ll let me help you,” Jason answered. 

We didn’t say anything else for the whole ride home, and he walked me up to the door and said goodbye to my mom and Matt before leaving. And somewhere in between me entering my room and seeing Matt, I dropped my dad’s picture and found the disc. And that’s when I decided to get involved with Bruce Wayne. I didn’t know much about the old man, and I didn’t really care, but I needed his help. I knew I couldn’t go to Jason because he’d tell me not to get involved. He would’ve taken over, and I wanted my own answers… and it was Mr. Wayne’s company. 

**

Jason picked me up from school after Powers’ people accosted me. He pinched the bridge of his nose, before sighing. Avery-Marie sat in the back seat, kicking her feet. She had noise-canceling headphones on. “Are you okay?” Jason asked.

“I’m alright… Is that Avery-Marie? She’s so big now,” I whispered. 

“Yeah… She’s in kindergarten… Why is Powers’ muscle hassling you?” Jason questioned. 

I shook my head like I didn’t know, and he accepted it. He knew I was lying, but he didn’t push for an answer. “Powerphones off,” Jason commanded, and Avery-Marie looked up. 

“Grandpa, can I have a cookie in the car?” Avery-Marie asked. 

“Sure, Avie. Did you see Terry in the front seat?” Jason questioned.

“Hi, Terry! Do you want a cookie too?” Avery-Marie offered. Her blonde curls reached past her shoulders, and she wore glitter star stickers on her face. “Grandpa, is Terry coming over to play?” 

Jason tapped the steering wheel as he started driving. “Not today, Sweetpea… Terry’s busy.” Avery-Marie pouted as she handed me a cookie.

“Maybe some other time… ‘Kay, Avery-Marie?” I offered. 

Jason nodded. “If he’s free, maybe he can babysit sometimes,” Jason suggested. He wanted me at the office. I knew what that meant. He wasn’t ready to let the situation with Powers go. Not completely anyway.

[cleighwrites]

Work Buddies

SPN Fanfic

Characters - Jensen x Jared

Summary - Jared and Jensen work for Kripke Enterprises which has a strict “No Dating” policy. Will they make it through an upcoming presentation without causing an HR nightmare?

Word Count - 2,636

A/N - This is an early birthday gift for @buffywoo!! Hope you feel better soon, babe! Prompted and beta’d by @jld71, thanks again!!

***In other news, this is my 601st post!! WILD!***

Warning - NSFW, shameless flirting, anal (fingering and sex), top!Jared, power bottom!Jensen

Read it on Ao3

Kripke Enterprises was notorious for its severely strict “No Dating” policy. It was all well and good as far as Jared was concerned. He’d broken up with his girlfriend before moving and he was hardly ready to jump back onto that particular horse. That was until he was paired with someone from advertising for a new project. 

Jensen Ackles was the epitome of gorgeous. He had a jawline that could cut glass, perfectly decorated with just the right amount of facial hair. His cheekbones were high, eyebrows expressive, and eyes as bright as emeralds. His hair was perfectly styled and his legs adorably bowed. Jared hardly knew where to look while they were introducing themselves. 

Jim, not Mr. Beaver, insisted they work together over the course of the following weeks to come up with the perfect presentation to show to Mr. Kripke for a new apartment complex on the other side of town. Jared being a contractor, and Jensen being in advertising, had to make the plans and concepts both appealing and economical for the company and any future tenants. 

Jensen’s smile disarmed Jared’s brain every time he laughed at some offhand comment Jared made. Jared had always been told he had a particular sense of humor that not all people appreciated. Jensen’s mind seemed just as dirty as his, as he’d chuckled or outright laughed whenever Jared made a lewd observation, which was often. 

It turned out that they had a lot in common. In addition to being Cowboys fans, they both had parents who were still married and a younger sister and older brother. They’d both grown up in Texas and followed their passions to get to where they were at Kripke Enterprises. 

They grew close over the weeks. Jared caught himself on more than one occasion staring as Jensen chewed on his pen while he thought, wondering what it would feel like to have those plush lips around his cock. He’d shake his head, laugh at himself, and then shrug when Jensen would raise a brow at him. 

When their presentation was finished, Jared decided to make a move. 

“Let’s grab a drink tonight,” he suggested to Jensen as they packed their bags to go home. 

“Yeah, alright,” Jensen agreed. 

Jared felt what he’d only ever heard described as butterflies in his stomach. He’d known Jensen would say yes, but that just meant he had to go through with his half-baked plan of getting Jensen into his bed. Step one was drinks. 

“Where’d you have in mind?” Jensen asked once they were outside. 

“How about Sagebrush?” Jared proposed. 

“They have live music there, right?” 

“Yeah, but I don’t know about tonight,” Jared admitted. 

“That’s cool, I’m up for anything,” Jensen said with a dazzling smile.

“Anything?” Jared asked, voice dripping in innuendo. 

Jensen cackled. Head thrown back, lean neck on display, just asking for Jared’s teeth to sink into. “You know me, man. I’m always down for a good time.” 

Okay, step two was drinks, step one was laying the groundwork. 

Step two was well underway, they were on their third round of Scotches when Jensen leaned over and tapped Jared on the arm. He leaned even closer and brushed his lips over Jared’s ear as he whispered. Jared broke out in goosebumps. 

He pointed to a couple that was dancing a few feet away. “What do you bet they’re gonna go fuck in the bathroom before the next set?”

“I’d take that bet. They’re halfway there already!” Jared responded. 

Jensen laughed and Jared’s gut pulled at the sight. He’d seen Jensen laugh before, tons of times over the weeks, but there was something freer about Jensen after a few drinks. He was looser and less… controlled. 

“Hey,” Jared said, following Jensen’s lead and leaning in close to speak into Jensen’s ear. “You wanna get outta here?” 

Jared leaned back to get a read on Jensen’s reaction. Jensen looked him right in the eyes, calculating. Jared was sure he’d said too much too soon until Jensen grew a shy smile. 

“Yeah, sure.” 

“Yeah?” Jared asked, hopeful. 

“Yeah. This place is kinda loud, anyway.”

“Yeah,” Jared said, downing the rest of his drink and standing. 

They both grabbed their suit jackets and bags and then left. Once the door shut behind them, Jensen turned to Jared and then stepped up to him. Not sure what was happening, Jared took a step back and Jensen followed. After a couple of steps, Jared’s back hit the wall. Jared laughed, but Jensen was all business as he pressed in on Jared and planted a kiss on his lips. 

Jared was stunned at first, but very quickly got on board with the turn of events. He grabbed Jensen’s hips and pulled him in close. Jensen’s hands were around Jared’s face and his fingers ran through the longer strands at the back of his head. 

Jensen pulled away far enough for them to catch their breaths, but kept their foreheads pressed together. “God, I’ve wanted to do that for the longest time,” Jensen admitted, breath ghosting over Jared’s mouth. 

“Same,” Jared said, leaning back in for another kiss. 

Jensen kissed him quickly, then pulled away and held his hand out to help Jared off the wall. “Your place or mine?” he asked, a wicked grin on his face. 

“Do you have lube?” Jared asked.

Jensen shot him a look that answered the question for him. 

“Who’s closest?”

After revealing their addresses and figuring out whose place was the quickest to get to, they took off in the direction of Jensen’s apartment. It was only a few blocks, so they hoofed it, hand in hand, glancing at each other and smiling the entire way.  

At the door to Jensen’s apartment building, Jared pressed himself against Jensen’s back, grinding his erection into Jensen’s ass. Jensen pressed back and groaned as he had to try his key for a second time to open the door. 

Jared took his grousing as impatience and nibbled on his ear lobe, ya know, to aid the situation. 

Jensen leaned into the attention, then grumbled, “You’re not helping.”

After his third attempt, Jensen opened his door and Jared wasted no time getting them into a more private space. Once the door shut behind them, Jared had Jensen pressed against it and their mouths sealed together. 

Their hands crawled under each other’s shirts and Jared finally got to feel Jensen’s bare skin under his fingers. Jensen was warm and solid yet pliant under his touch. When Jared couldn’t take it anymore, he moved away from Jensen’s mouth and worked his way down to his throat. Jared could feel the reverberation from Jensen’s groan through his lips. 

“I’ve been waiting for this,” Jensen said.

“Patience is a virtue,” Jared responded against Jensen’s pulse. 

“Fuck you.” 

“No, fuck you,” Jared corrected. 

Jensen moaned again and gripped Jared’s shoulders. “Fuck me.” 

“That’s the plan,” Jared said, pulling back and looking Jensen in the eyes. “Right?”

“Yes,” he confirmed. “Please,” he added leaning in for another kiss. 

Jared knew he’d give Jensen anything and everything he’d ever ask for. How could he deny him anything? Especially when he asked so prettily. 

“Bedroom?” Jared asked. 

Jensen nodded then shoved his shoulders away from the door. “Right this way,” he said with his arm out like he was about to give Jared a tour. 

Jared followed, pressed against Jensen’s back and pressing kisses along his neck and shoulders. When Jensen walked them into his room, he flipped on the light and turned in Jared’s grasp. They kissed again, only breaking apart to remove each other’s shirts and kick their pants and shoes off. 

Down to their boxer briefs, Jensen led them to his bed. He kissed Jared until he backed up and sat on the edge of the bed, then he pulled away and dug through his nightstand drawer. He grumbled to himself a moment then said “Aha!” and pulled out a bottle of lube and a condom. His smile was blinding and Jared couldn’t help but respond with one of his own. 

Jensen kissed him again, this time slipping himself between Jared’s legs and gently leaning him back against the mattress. Jared went willingly, holding Jensen in his arms to bring him down on top of him. Without their slacks in the way, their cocks drug against each other, wet spots on their briefs getting them sticky with precome. 

Jared was drunk on the little noises Jensen made, the quiet grunts and soft moans when their cocks would slide together just right. He wanted to live in this moment forever, but there were literally more pressing issues that required immediate attention. 

Deciding that it was time to move things along, Jared rolled over toward the head of the bed, landing Jensen on top of his pillows. Jensen chuckled and rearranged the pillows and himself while Jared grabbed the lube and condom and worked his briefs off. He grabbed the waistband of Jensen’s briefs next and moved them slowly down his hips, careful not to get them hung on Jensen’s impressive dick. 

Beautifully bare to him, Jensen lay there, looking at Jared while Jared did the same. He was just as attractive naked as he was clothed. They were both cut, and Jensen’s perfectly dark pink tip dribbled precome onto his belly. Unable to control himself, Jared reached forward and grabbed hold of Jensen’s cock, giving it a few slow strokes. 

“Oh, God!” Jensen groaned out, shoving his head back into a pillow. 

Jared smiled, he loved seeing Jensen come apart and being the one to bring him there. Jensen whimpered when Jared let go so he could start prepping him. As soon as he heard the snip of the lube bottle opening, Jensen raised his legs and held himself spread out for Jared to be able to get to him easily. Of course, Jensen was well groomed everywhere, he was a sight to behold. 

After a moment of appreciation, Jared coated a few fingers with lube and set to work. Jensen was tight but relaxed enough that Jared had no issue stretching him open quickly. While Jared worked his fingers in and out of Jensen’s tight hole, he took Jensen’s cock into his mouth and got his first taste of him. He was addicted already. Jensen fit perfectly into Jared’s mouth, all the way to the back of his throat. 

Jensen moaned and groaned and grunted his way through being prepped. Jared could live in this moment for the rest of his life. Knuckle deep into and choking on Jensen. If he’d had hair, Jared would be burying his nose into it, as it was, Jared’s nose was rubbing deliciously against Jensen’s slick, bare skin. 

Once Jared could easily shove three fingers into Jensen, he considered him prepped. As quickly as he could, he slurped his way off Jensen’s cock, rolled the condom on and slicked himself up. While Jared was busy, Jensen rearranged himself on the bed, settling more toward the middle. Jared kissed his way up Jensen’s legs, torso, and neck until he finally got to his mouth. As they kissed, Jared used one hand to line himself up and the other to hold himself over Jensen. 

Jared thrust in slowly, giving Jensen ample time to adjust to the intrusion. He was squeezing around Jared so tightly that Jared was afraid of hurting him if he moved too fast. Jared kept his eyes on Jensen’s flushed face as he thrust in, prepared to stop at the first sign of distress. 

He couldn’t get over how gorgeous Jensen was. Long lashes fluttered while Jensen kept his eyes squeezed shut. His perfectly plush lips formed a sensuous “O” whenever he breathed out. His skin was flushed a delicious pink that made the spackling of freckles across his face stand out. 

All too soon, Jared bottomed out and Jensen’s eyes fluttered open. He made eye contact with Jared and his flush deepened. His eyes shone like a perfectly polished moss agate; Jared couldn’t look away if he wanted to. 

“You can move now,” Jensen told him, voice rough and attractively ragged.  

Jared’s cock twitched at the sound and Jensen clenched back. They both groaned at the sensation. Jared did as he was told and pulled out, not quite as slowly as he’d entered, but still unsure of hurting Jensen. He was quite aware of how endowed he was and had bad experiences in the past. Once he was pulled out to the head, Jared pushed back in a bit faster. 

“I can take it, I won’t break, promise,” Jensen said breathily. 

“If you’re sure,” Jared said, increasing his pace. 

Jensen smacked his ass and pulled his hips forward to drive his cock in deeper, then ground his hips against Jared’s pelvis. So, Jensen was a power bottom, noted. Jared took his cue and started to fuck Jensen in earnest. If he wanted it, Jared would give it to him. 

After a few minutes, they were both sweating and breathing heavily. Jensen was taking him beautifully and Jared couldn’t think of ever having had a better partner. He gave as good as he got, and Jared had a lot to give. 

Two position changes later, Jensen was practically singing as he moaned with every thrust. Jared reached around and started tugging at Jensen’s cock. With a few well-aimed thrusts, Jensen was coming all over his bedspread. His entire body went rigid with it and Jared was being squeezed like a vice. After a few more thrusts into Jensen’s tight channel, Jared was pumping his release into the condom. 

Jensen collapsed onto the bed, to the side of his mess, and Jared followed suit, landing behind him with his cock still lodged in his ass. They lay there and breathed for a moment and then Jared held the end of the condom and slipped himself out. Jensen let out a breath once Jared was out and shuddered at the loss. Jared tied off the condom and paused for a moment. 

“Trashcan’s on the other side of the nightstand,” Jensen supplied. 

“‘Kay,” Jared said, leaning over the side of the bed and tossing the filled condom into the trash. 

Jared wasn’t sure what he should do next. Was Jensen a cuddler? Would he stay the night? Would they eat something before bed? Jared sure had worked up an appetite. 

“Getting cold over here,” Jensen said, reaching a hand out for Jared. 

Jared followed his lead and laid back down behind Jensen, curling around him and holding him close. Jensen exhaled a deep breath and settled into Jared’s embrace. 

“We’re going to have to go to HR on Monday,” Jensen said after a while.

Jared started. “What, why?” 

“Because I’m gonna wanna do this again and we both know how Kripke is about his dating policy. We’re never going to be able to work together again.” Jensen chuckled to himself. 

Jared kissed Jensen’s neck. “I could definitely do this again.”

Jensen playfully elbowed him in the ribs. “I didn’t mean right now!” 

Jared kept kissing Jensen’s neck. “But I’m hungry…” 

“Then we should eat something,” Jensen said, laughing. 

“I could eat you.”

“Maybe later.” Jensen rolled over to face Jared, a serious look on his face. “Pizza or tacos?”

Jared didn’t even think about it. “Tacos.”

“A man after my own heart.” 

They both smiled at each other until Jensen climbed down to the foot of the bed to grab his phone out of his pants. Jared laid back and enjoyed the view as Jensen lay on his stomach and placed an order on his phone. Chuckling to himself, he thought about the nightmare this would be for HR and had to admit to himself that he didn’t care. It would be worth it to be with Jensen.