#also would anyone like to be the first to take a peak at the chapter once I'm done to make sure it's solid? 👉🏽👈🏽👀

[messyoungie]

HABITS TO DROP WHEN GETTING YOUR LIFE TOGETHER

➝ CREATING UNAUTHENTIC & UNINTENTIONAL GOALS

the biggest mistakes you can make when creating goals is making goals that aren’t true to you and making goals for the sake of making goals.

it can be so exciting when you decide to get your life together. I mean, of course it is! there are so many possibilities! but when you start planning, don’t just write down the goals you see circulating on social media. what works for someone else may not be what works for you. don’t make your goals and habits based on what’s trending or popular in the self improvement community.

think about what you actually need for a minute. what is actually necessary? your goals and habits aren’t here to be glamorous, they’re here to help regardless of how simple or small they are. the point of thinking up new habits is to improve your life, so be intentional with your goals. what will practicing this habit or achieving this goal give you?

when you’re first starting out, your goals don’t have to be anything too crazy or intense. for example, let’s say you want to become a pink pilates girl and get into fitness. you shouldn’t jump right into it and say your goal is to work out for 2 hours 5 times a week. let’s consider some factors first. have you been living a completely sedentary kind of lifestyle? then try looking for exercises that’ll wake up dormant muscles. your goal should then be to repeat those exercises for how ever many times a week. then you’ll work your way up from there. (it’s important we don’t harm the body, so be mindful with your fitness goals.) what about your schedule? how much time can you actually give to working out? can your body even endure working out for that long?

anyways, hopefully you see what I mean. when creating goals, it’s not about having the “aesthetic” habits and goals that you may see on tiktok or tumblr. it’s about doing what is actually good for you and what’ll help you the most with where you are now in your journey. so please put some thought into your goals and where they’ll take you. creating unauthentic and unintentional habits will also mean you’ll be less likely to keep practicing them after a few times. at the end of the day, that doesn’t help you achieve anything and you’re left with a broken promise you’ve made to yourself. which leads me to my next point…

➝ NOT KEEPING YOUR WORD WHEN IT COMES TO YOU

let me start off by saying this— if you don’t even listen to yourself, why should anyone else? (harsh, ik)

a HUGE reason as to why people have no self confidence is because they don’t listen to themselves or keep the promises they’ve made to themselves. if you have no self trust, how could you have any self confidence?

now, building discipline can definitely be a challenge so if you want to start somewhere easy, nip your false promises in the bud and stop yourself from making them. that’s what I did when I was first trying to stop this habit. when my addiction to tiktok was at its peak I would always tell myself the usual “ten more minutes and then I’ll stop scrolling.” when I wanted to stop making false promises, I knew I had no control or discipline so the only thing I could do is be real with myself. I’d cut myself off when I heard myself say “five more minutes” because I knew it wasn’t going to happen. if I wasn’t going to quit my bad habit, then the least I could do is be honest with myself.

the things that you are constantly telling yourself, whether they’re mindless or intentional, matter.

so, stop telling yourself seemingly harmless lies. unnecessary false promises that you know are false will only fill you with tension.

➝ SEEING FAILURE AS AN INVITATION TO GIVE UP

this applies to so many things.

you wanted to be consistent with your reading goals but haven’t read a chapter in a week? dont give up. don’t tell yourself that being consistent is too hard for you, that since you missed a week this habit isn’t for you. make your goal a bit easier or give yourself another chance.

you wanted to spend more time doing art but it’s not turning out how you expected? dont give up. dont give yourself the title of a “bad artist” and never pick up a pencil again. move forward, give yourself another chance.

you wanted to quit your Instagram addiction but after a couple days you went back to scrolling for hours on ig reels? Don’t give up. dont tell yourself that this addiction isn’t gonna go away, don’t go back to the bad habit because you slipped up. give yourself another chance.

I think a lot of us (myself included) tend to give up at the first sign of failure, instead of reminding ourselves to keep going. it’d be wonderful if you could get it right on the first try. if you could read ten books a month right away after not reading a book in three years. if you could watch hours worth of tutorials and sketch the perfect portrait on the first attempt. if you could uninstall instagram for good and never feel the urge to go back. that would all be so amazing, but it’s not always the reality. expect the best from yourself and do the best you can, but also give yourself some compassion. keep in mind that you won’t always do things perfectly right away and that’s one thousand percent okay. when you feel yourself slipping up on your brand new goal, don’t end it there at the first failure. allow yourself to move forward, because the only other direction to move is backwards.

[hellodropbear]

chosen.

mapi leon x ingrid engen x daughter

isabel is finally adopted

new chapter!!!

as always, hope you enjoy and please let me know what you think (good or bad lol) and anything else you want to see :)

~~~~~~

It was something Isabel had been nagging Mapi about for months. Maybe even longer. 

Isabel wasn't stupid anymore, she knew that Mapi had not planned to be her mother. There were other people, and half of her was made of who was supposed to be her father, the man that Mapi spoke so highly of despite getting choked up every time he was brought up in conversation. 

She knew they had died right before she was born and she knew that Mapi was left with a baby that she hadn't actually asked for. 

Isabel knew Mapi stopped playing football until she was older, taking a long chunk out of what would have likely been the peak of her career. 

She knew Ingrid came along later, which is why she had grown up calling her Ingrid. 

She didn't call her Mami, she didn't call her Mama. She called her Ingrid which just seemed so wrong. 

Because Ingrid was her mother, as much as Mapi. 

Mapi had given birth to her, she was a single mother for the first two years probably, until her relationship with Ingrid started getting more serious and both Isabel and Mapi became more and more reliant on the brunette Norwegian that they had fallen in love with so quickly. 

Isabel looked like Mapi, and she carried a few of her personality traits around with her. Outgoing, funny, chatty. 

But Ingrid also raised her, which meant she carried around the Norwegian's calmness, her kindness and her emotional nature. 

She was practically a carbon copy of Mapi on the outside, but anyone who knew her on the inside would say she was the perfect blend of both women. 

So how come she only called one of them Mami? 

Why was it that if she was seriously injured, only Mapi would be called up?

And Isabel wasn't stupid, she knew that Ingrid wished she had been there from the beginning, that her name was written on all of the important documents. She knew that Ingrid wished she was called Mama. 

Not Ingrid. 

When she was younger, Isabel would call Ingrid Mama when she was tired or sad, if she wanted a hug or if she was just feeling emotional. 

It would be in those tender moments and Ingrid's heart would melt every time. It was always in the apartment, hidden away from the rest of the world and just the three of them there together. 

But it never really stuck, and Isabel continued to call her by her first name everywhere else. Her teachers would ask about Mami and they'd ask about Ingrid, her friends would get confused because who is Ingrid?

They all just had a Mami and a Papi. 

Ingrid always thought that Mami and Mama would make more sense. 

So when Mapi knocked on her bedroom door, an official looking document held securely in her hand, Isabel had a very large suspicion that she knew exactly what was in that plastic slip. 

Mapi could tell she knew, the way her eyes lit up and she immediately placed her guitar to the side, sitting up as Mapi moved to sit beside her. 

"Is it them?"

Mapi smiled, tears in her eyes. 

"Yeah, it is."

"Mami!" Isabel practically jumped on her trying to hug her, tears springing from her eyes as well. "Thank you so much!"

Mapi just shrugged. 

"She's your Mama and has been for your whole life, this just makes it official."

"We have to plan something so special! Mami, I can't wait to tell her!"

Mapi laughed softly, planting a kiss on Isabel's head and hugging her in close. 

"We'll just have to make sure she says yes! She might not want to be officially related to a little rodent like you."

Isabel laughed, whacking her mother's side in mock offence and rolling her eyes. 

They both knew that it wasn't true, that Ingrid loved Isabel more than anything else. 

"She loves me more than you, Mami, you're just jealous."

Mapi laughed, silently agreeing. 

She would never admit that though. 

"You wish."

~~~~~~

Isabel spent every minute of the next two weeks planning what would be the perfect surprise for Ingrid, only requesting advice from Mapi a few times. 

It was a photo album that she was creating, filled with just pictures of them as Isabel got older, Mapi only featuring at times that Isabel deemed it absolutely necessary.

Birthdays, christmases, family barbecues, trips to Norway. Summer holidays on the beach. 

Skating competitions, Isabel stood there proudly with the gold medal hanging round her neck, a giddy smile on her face as Ingrid had picked her up despite her rapidly growing figure. 

She had scrolled through all of Mapi's old photos, printing out the good ones and sticking them in the page with stickers and little notes until it was completely full. 

She wrote a letter, enlisting Caro to help her perfect her Norwegian, making her swear to secrecy - the contents of the note were strictly confidential. 

She came up with a plan, something she knew Ingrid would love. A walk to their park was nothing worth being suspicious of, not even when the 10 year old pulled out Bagheera’s carrier. 

It was a family affair, she told Mapi. It would be mean to leave the cat out of it just because she didn’t usually go on their walks. 

It was a nice walk and a nice picnic, planned out to the T by Isabel, down to what colour lined the paper plates and how the fruits on the fruit platter would be cut. 

Everything she did was for Ingrid and if the Norwegian had asked her, she would have been able to explain every single decision in a way that related back to how much she loved Ingrid. 

Perhaps, for that reason, it was best that the papers were forgotten at home, because Ingrid would have been inconsolable if she saw the papers, the photo album and then was explained every single little decision made by her little girl. 

Isabel was disappointed, but Mapi reassured her that the Norwegian would not mind, that her reaction wouldn't change whether she was given those papers on the top of the eiffel tower or in a dump in the middle of the city. 

So the 10 year old waited until they got home and finished eating dinner, only heading up to her room to collect the file once Mapi and Ingrid were sat on the sofa, waiting for their child to return and choose something to watch. 

She couldn't help the nerves that filled up her stomach, the anxieties that began to attack her as soon as the file was in her shaking hand. She almost felt sick as she walked downstairs, spying the back of Ingrid's head, hearing their voices chatting and laughing. 

It took one last push of confidence to walk and stand in front of them, the file held tightly in her hands as she anxiously rocked back and forth on her heels. 

She took a deep breath, realising that everything she had planned to say was long forgotten, instead just brandishing the file towards Ingrid, who took it with an air of confusion as she glanced between Isabel and Mapi. 

"What's this, Is?"

Isabel cowered under her glance, suddenly full of insecurity and self doubt. Would Ingrid even want to be her mother?

She had spent so much time thinking about how much she wanted Ingrid to be her mother, that she sort of ignored the possibility that the Norwegian didn't want that. 

And that would completely break the 10 year old. 

"Just open it." Mapi smiled reassuringly at Isabel, noticing her nerves, before looking over at Ingrid who had completely frozen as soon as she read the first few words on the top of the first page. 

She immediately broke down in tears, her body racking with sobs as she realised what she had just been given.

~~~~~~

"Isabel Leon! We're going and we're going now!" Ingrid was beyond frustrated, the 8 year old not listening to a word she said. Mapi was out of town for the week so they had been left alone together and the child was experiencing a severe case of 'I miss my mum' and it was materialising as disobedience and ignorance of Ingrid. 

"No!" She slammed her door closed for effect, throwing herself on her bed and willing herself not to cry. 

"Isabel, this is important and I can't leave you here. We have to go, you can sulk in the car."

The Norwegian was stood right outside the door, her hands massaging her head in frustration at the girl. 

"No! I'm not coming."

Ingrid huffed, shoving open the bedroom door and picking the ever-growing child up from her bed. 

"Ingrid!" She screeched loudly, almost deafening the brunette. "NO! Put me down, Ingrid, NOW!"

Her words dissolved into sobs as Ingrid continued to carry her until they had exited the apartment, the door locked behind them, Isabel left with no way to get back in. 

"I want Mami, Ingrid, I miss Mami!"

She shook her head, using her hand to guide the child into the lift. 

"Well Mami's gone, so you're stuck with me for now. You're just going to have to make do."

The child lashed out at the words and the contact, flipping around and facing Ingrid as the elevator doors closed. 

"There's a reason you're not my Mami!"

Her vision was blurred by her tears so she couldn't see the hurt that flashed over the woman's face. She only realised later that night that what she said was wrong, that she had been horrible to someone she loved so much for no reason. 

And Ingrid would never admit the reason that she was in tears as Mapi called her that night, alone and wrapped up in bed. 

As she put down the phone, tears still dripping down her face. It wasn’t often that her insecurities returned, but when they did it was like wildfire, quickly spreading and destroying everything good in it’s path. 

Because Isabel was right, Ingrid wasn’t her Mami. She wasn’t her Mama either, she was just Ingrid. 

She was Isabel’s Mami’s girlfriend. 

But if she asked either of the Spaniard’s, they would assure her that she is so much more than that. 

It was with desperation that she tried to wipe her tears away as her bedroom door creaked open, Isabel creeping through the door and silently climbing up onto Mapi’s side of the bed, curling herself up in Ingrid’s side. 

The Norwegian didn’t realise she was crying until she heard the sniffle, her shoulders shuddering subtly.

“Is.” Ingrid’s voice was a whisper and Isabel turned around to face her, eyes puffy and her cheeks stained with tears. “What’s wrong?”

“I’m sorry, Ingrid.”

She took a deep, shuddery breath and nestled her head into Ingrid’s chest. 

“Please don’t leave me and Mami.”

Ingrid frowned, wrapping her arms tighter around the girl. 

“Why would you think I was leaving you and your Mami?”

Isabel shrugged, her voice breaking as she replied. 

“I said that you’re not my Mami, but you are. I was naughty and you were angry and I don’t want you to leave me, Ingrid, because I love you.”

The Norwegian’s heart broke but she took a deep breath, closing her eyes and responding. 

“I will never leave you and your Mami. Never ever worry about that because I will always be here. And you were just upset today, you missed Mami and you were angry and sad and said stuff to me that you didn’t mean but it’s ok, Is, because you know it was naughty and you’ve apologised. But please, never ever worry about me leaving. I love you way too much to not see you every single day.”

~~~~~~

“Where is Ingrid, Mami?” 

She had woken up confused, her head sore and her arm in a cast. 

All she could remember was dragging Pina and Patri to the skatepark, showing off her new tricks. They were impressive, for a 9 year old and Mapi worried every day about her little girl flying around the skatepark with little to no concern about her own safety. 

When Pina and Patri had offered to babysit, she specifically told them that if they went to the skatepark, Isabel had to wear all the protective equipment that Mapi had purchased. 

Which she did, the two women making sure everything was on tight, equally as nervous as Mapi tended to be whenever she had to accompany Isabel to the skatepark. 

But whenever Pina or Patri turned their back, she would discreetly shed another protective item, embarrassed and humiliated in front of all the local skaters who wore nothing but their normal clothes and a helmet. 

They noticed, of course they did, but Isabel was too quick on her board for them to catch her and put them back on.

“Pequena!” Patri had yelled, her voice stressed and somewhat angry. “Come back here right now and put this all back on!”

It was rare Patri yelled at her, so the harsh words came as a shock to Isabel, who tried to pull off a spin at the top of the bowl so she could turn around. 

Except it was a trick she hadn’t quite mastered yet, and instead of landing it on two feet, she plummeted to the base of the bowl with a sickening crunch, immediately bursting into tears. 

Pina swore as Patri jumped down to her, scooping her up in her arms and giving her a quick once over. 

Her heart sank when she saw the wonky arm. Broken, easily. 

Pina grabbed the board and followed quickly, jumping into the drivers seat as Patri carefully slid into the back, nursing Isabel’s arm as the 9 year old sobbed in pain. 

“Please, Patri!” She had sobbed, tears streaming down her face. “Don’t tell Mami, she will be so mad at me.”

Patri sighed quietly, knowing that Mapi’s anger would be directed entirely at Pina and herself. 

She didn’t tell Isabel that, instead kissing her head and soothing her, whispering quiet Spanish in her ear until her cries weakened and she fell asleep. 

The doctors in the hospital had confirmed the broken arm, as well as a very minor concussion that required monitoring for 24 hours. 

But she woke up, her mother’s familiar tattooed hand resting on her leg, her eyes full of worry and stress as she stared down at her daughter. 

Ingrid, on the other hand, was nowhere to be seen.

Mapi had been so caught up in her daughter’s injuries that she hadn’t even considered where Ingrid was having not seen her since that very morning. 

“I’m so glad you’re ok, my lion cub.”

The discipline about her gear would come later. Even if Patri and Pina had disregarded it, she had told Isabel time and time again about it’s importance. Today, unfortunately, Mapi had been proven right. 

She had yelled that to the two younger Spaniards as they waited in the hallway, sending them home with their heads bowed and tears in their eyes. 

For some reason, they didn’t tell her that they had been extra careful all day, Isabel only getting hurt after they had told her to come back to replace all her knee pads. Mapi was so angry, which they had understood. 

They were just upset because she had told them they would never see the little girl again, mapi couldn’t trust two people so irresponsible.

It was dramatic, of course, but Pina and Patri had never seen Mapi so angry before. 

“Where’s Ingrid?”

Mapi sighed quietly, stroking Isabel’s hair back. 

“I’ll call Ingrid, she can come in.”

She did just that, easily dialling the Norwegian on her phone, only having to wait through two rings before she picked up. 

“Is has been asking for you, Ingrid, do you want to come over to the hospital?”

Mapi hadn’t really known where Ingrid was, but her concern about why her girlfriend wasn’t there was sort of pushed to the side as she worried about her daughter’s wellbeing. 

She didn’t expect Ingrid to sound so frustrated, so upset. 

“I’ve been here this whole time, Mapi! They won’t let me up because I’m not on her documents. You’re her mother, not me.”

The Spaniard’s heart dropped, immediately filling with guilt. 

“I’ll be right there.”

She was practically flying down the stairs, grabbing Ingrid by the arm and pulling her into the lift. 

“I’m sorry, Ingrid. I’m so sorry.”

It was hard for the Spaniard to keep her tears at bay, the emotions of her day catching up with her. But Ingrid broke down in her arms, silently crying. 

“She’s my kid too, Mapi. She’s my kid too.”

Isabel didn’t know why both Ingrid and Mapi were crying when they entered her room again, but she did finally feel at ease with them both on either side of her, swiftly falling asleep as their hands rested on her smaller form. 

~~~~~~

Her first day of school had gone well. Better than well, really, she had loved everything about it. 

Her teacher, her friends, the food, her new pencil case and backpack. 

Everything had been perfect. It was still perfect as she spied her mother standing by the gate, Baloo’s leash in her hand as the young golden retriever stood steady by her side. 

“Mamiii!” 

Her backpack was dropped on the floor as she raced towards Mapi, throwing herself into her open arms and sighing contentedly as she was picked up, her head fitting easily on Mapi’s shoulders. 

“Oh hello there!” 

Mapi smiled, walking over to the abandoned school bag and skillfully bending down to pick it up with one hand, her daughter and the dog’s leash being held securely in the other. 

“How was your day, Is?”

Her question caused the girl to burst into excited chatter, eating Mapi’s ear off with her words as she recounted every possible story from the moment she was dropped off the the moment she was reunited, her words so quick that she was all finished by the time they arrived back to the apartment. 

“I made a friend, Mami!” 

She skipped beside her mother as they walked towards the lift, a grin settled on her face. 

Mapi was impressed, but not remotely surprised. It seemed that her daughter had inherited her own chattiness and confidence, but she was also an inherently happy kid who practically radiated sunshine. 

Mapi never had to worry about the girl making friends. 

So she listened as Isabel told her all about her new friend Sofie, about how she wasn’t even from Spain. 

“She’s from the same place as Esmee, Mami!” 

Dutch, Mapi thought. She wondered what a Dutch family was doing in Barcelona.

She continued to talk about Sofie’s older brother, her mother and father. Her grandparents and her cousins. 

But a small frown settled upon her face, as she looked up at Mapi with an inquisitive gaze. 

“I told her that I have a Mami, but no Papi. She asked who else looks after me because her Mami needs her Papi’s help all the time, so I told her I have an Ingrid, but she didn’t really get it. Because Ingrid isn’t a Papi.”

Mapi sighed, unclipping Baloo from his leash and moving to unpack Isabel’s backpack.

“Come up here, Is.” She patted the kitchen bench in front of her and the girl raced over, pulling herself up onto the bench with a practised ease. 

“You don’t have a Papi, no. But you have a Mami, don’t you?” Isabel nodded her head eagerly, wriggling slightly in her spot. “And who else do you have?”

“I have an Ingrid!” 

Mapi nodded, but gave her a look that prompted her to continue. 

“And an Ale, a Frido, Esmee! Pina, Patri. Leila, even though she lives all the way in England.”

“Who else?”

“Abuela and Abuelo! And tio and tia!” 

Mapi nodded proudly, placing her hands on Isabel’s shoulders. 

“You don’t have a Papi, Is, but you do have so many people here that love you, Ingrid more than anyone. We can’t even remember life without Ingrid, can we?”

Isabel shook her head, frowning. 

“I miss her when she’s away.”

“So do I.”

It was true, the house always seemed so much more quiet whenever the Norwegian had to return to Norway, even though she made by far the least noise out of all of them. She was a popular presence and one that made life so much more enjoyable for the two of them. 

Of course on the other side, Ingrid missed them equally as much and she was absolutely devastated that her national team duties were pulling her away from Isabel as she started school, one of the biggest days yet in her short life. 

But she had missed yet another milestone, just as she was cementing her place as a mother in Isabel’s life. 

“But Is, she’s your Mami too. You know this, she’s Mama.”

Isabel nodded. 

“I don’t think Sofie knew that it was ok to have no Papi because she looked sad when I told her.”

“Well, tomorrow you can tell Sofie that you’re ok! You don’t need a Papi because you have a Mama instead. Tell Sofie that families always look different but that doesn’t mean we love each other any less.”

She grinned, her head bobbing up and down happily. 

“I love you Mami!” 

Mapi smiled, reciprocating her words without hesitation. 

“Do you want to call Ingrid and tell her the same thing?”

“Let’s call Mama!” 

Mapi smiled with pride, scooping Isabel up in her arms and walking them over to the sofa as she dialled Ingrid. 

And that is where they sat for the next couple of hours, on the phone to their Ingrid, cuddled up in each others arms. 

It was Mapi’s favourite place, only made better when the Norwegian was right there too, her soft skin providing that extra love and warmth that both Spaniards desired so deeply. 

Ingrid was family now. Irreplaceable and incomparable. 

But if you asked Mapi, she would say that Ingrid had been family from the moment she first held Isabel in her arms. 

~~~~~~

Isabel watched as Ingrid broke down, tears streaming down her face and landing with big splats on her legs. 

The Norwegian was always going to be emotional, that was expected. Both Spaniards knew how insecure she was about her place in Isabel’s life, her role in this family. The insecurities were thick, stubborn. They never went away, despite how much Isabel and Mapi tried to cut them out, to push them away. 

The truth was enough for them to withstand any pushing that the mother daughter duo attempted, the facts were all there. 

Mapi was Isabel’s mother, she was the one on the documents, the one who was called if anything happened. She was allowed in Isabel’s hospital room when she got sick and she was the one that Isabel called Mami. 

Ingrid knew she was important, she knew she was loved. 

But she had always been Ingrid, excluding those few treasured times where Isabel had tiredly reached out for Mama. She found everything out through Mapi, she wasn’t even on the email list for her school. 

But these documents changed everything. 

For Ingrid, they changed everything. 

For Isabel and Mapi they changed nothing at all. 

Ingrid’s tears were expected, they were justified. But all she needed to do was look up at Isabel for her to run into her arms, almost toppling her over from her seated position on the sofa with the shear force of her body ramming into Ingrid’s, her arms easily wrapping around her. 

The Norwegian reciprocated the hug, her tears saturating the shoulder of Isabel’s shirt. 

“Do you want to be my Mama?”

Ingrid’s sobs became more audible as she tried to respond, words failing her as she nodded. The tears continued, Baloo looking up in confusion as the Norwegian cried, as Mapi did nothing to console her, instead watching on with a wet smile, tears dripping down her face. 

She was grateful to Ingrid because without her, life would be completely different. Without Ingrid, she would likely be a single mother. She and Isabel would live alone, Bagheera there too but Baloo wouldn’t have been an option if there wasn’t another adult there. 

Ingrid was the first time Mapi ever felt true love, the first time she ever felt like she was loved completely and romantically. The Norwegian made her happy, she made Isabel happy too. 

She had changed their lives for the better. 

Mapi would never be able to thank her enough. 

She watched as Ingrid’s cries softened, as she leant back and grabbed Isabel’s shoulders, looking at her straight in the eyes. 

“I would love nothing more, Isabel.”

It wasn’t long before Isabel disappeared, racing up to her room to grab her gift. As she left, Mapi easily retook her spot beside the Norwegian, kissing away the tears that still fell from her eyes. 

“You didn’t have to do this, Maria. I can’t believe it.”

The brunette just shrugged. 

“This is what’s right. You’ve raised her with me, you’re her mother, Ingrid. I didn’t think it was necessary for such a long time but last year at the hospital… it’s important to me that you know it only took me so long because it won’t change anything for me. You have always been her mother, ever since you walked into my life.”

Ingrid nodded, ready to reply before she heard the feet thundering back down the stairs, telling Mapi that they would have this conversation later. 

Shyly, Isabel handed over a neatly folded piece of paper and the photo book, sitting down on the other side of Ingrid as they flipped through it. 

It was how they spent the rest of the night, snuggled up together on the sofa, lots of tears shed as they flipped through the book of photos. 

Isabel fell asleep once they were done, the TV turned on as all three of them were emotionally exhausted, eyes puffy and faces red. Ingrid could only smile, her hand tangling up in Isabel’s head of hair as she slept peacefully on her mother’s lap. 

“My daughter. She’s my daughter, Maria.”

~~~~~~

It was a week of happiness in the Engen-Leon household, the Norwegian radiating positivity as she adjusted to her new role in Isabel’s life. 

Nothing changed, really, except for Ingrid’s security.

It wasn’t even something you could see from the outside, but Mapi knew her well enough to understand how much happier she was, like she had finally been relieved from a weight that she’d been carrying around for so long. It was a relief for all of them. 

The letter that Isabel wrote, however, had been left unread on her bedside table. 

It was in Norwegian, that much she knew. Apparently, the 10 year old had called up Caro to ask for some help with the language, making sure it was perfect before she gave it to her mother. 

It was a bit more than a week later, her and Mapi laying in bed one evening, Isabel fast asleep in her room down the hall. The Spaniard was scrolling through her phone, her spare hand lazily carding through Ingrid’s thick locks. 

The Norwegian was holding that folded piece of paper, staring at it like it held the secrets to the world. 

“Just open it.”

Mapi chuckled as soon as she store what her Norwegian was looking at, the familiar lined paper forever etched into her brain after such a big deal had been made about it. 

“It’s in Norwegian!” Ingrid smiled, looking over at Mapi. “Caro said I should prepare my tissues, Maria!”

“You would have cried if she said ‘I hate you Ingrid I wish you weren’t my Mama’ if it was written in Norwegian.”

Ingrid rolled her eyes at Mapi chuckled at her own joke, her phone dropping into her lap. 

“It won’t say that though. It will probably be heart wrenching because our girl is smart and has a unique way with words.”

Ingrid flopped backwards onto her pillow, sighing dramatically. 

“I’m going to be sobbing, Mapi.”

The Spaniard could only shrug. 

“Probably.”

It took a few more sighs and a couple more minutes for her to open the letter, unfolding the piece of paper at a painfully slow speed, Mapi just rolling her eyes at Ingrid’s dramatics. 

But the brunette’s eyes glazed over as soon as she saw the first line, neat Norwegian printed onto the page. 

Dear Mama. 

And so the waterworks began. 

I haven’t called you Mama my whole life, but I don’t really know why. You’re my Mama, you always have been. When I talk to my friends, I’ll call you Ingrid, but I will always question why, I’ll question why I call you that. 

I know that Mami was the one who had me, that she didn’t mean to have me and was only left with me because the people who I was named after, Isabel and Luis, died. 

She always tells me not to say that she was left with me because it makes it sound like she didn’t want me, which isn’t true. 

But Mami never had the choice, even if she didn’t want me. She was left with me, a baby. I would have been a lot of work. But she loves me and I love her so it worked and I don’t have any memories of being sad. 

I don’t have any memories of that time at all, really. No memories of anything that happened before you came. 

You had the choice, Mama. You didn’t have to choose to be my Mama. You love Mami and she loves you of course, but she had a baby. You didn’t have to take me into your arms and immediately love me as much as you do. 

You could have chosen that you wanted nothing to do with me, you could have chosen to just be Mami’s girlfriend - a step mother who doesn’t really love her step-daughter. 

But you didn’t choose that. You chose to love me and I chose to love you. 

Somehow, it seems so much more special that way. 

You’ve been there for me my whole life. You took me to Norway with you, the first time I left the country without Mami. You would look after me when she was sad, take me to the park and distract me with toys and Baloo. You were the one who convinced Mami to let me on a skateboard and you were the one who realised that I didn’t like football, taking the pressure off me to succeed at the sport you both love. 

You have been to every school awards night, concert, play. You are always there and I always spot you because you always have such a big smile on your face, one that I like to think is reserved just for me and Mami. 

And I love you so much. You make me so happy and you always have. 

I can’t believe how lucky I am that you chose to love me like you do.

Lots of love,

Your daughter Is. 

The tears that had been pouring down her face were hitting her legs as she finished reading, Mapi’s arms pulling her close as she carefully folded the paper back up, putting it in the top drawer of her nightstand. 

“My daughter Is.” She whispered softly and if Mapi wasn’t right in her space, she wouldn’t have been able to hear. 

“Your daughter Is.” She confirmed, using her finger to gently wipe away her tears. “She loves you so much.”

Ingrid could only nod, words once again failing her. 

“We both love you so very much. We are both so grateful for you and everything you do to make our lives so much better.”

“I love you too, Maria.”

~~~~~~

hope you enjoyed! please let me know what you thought and send in anything you want to see :)

have a good day!

[stormz369]

☕💖 Can I Get Your Number? ☕💖 Ch 3

Jason Todd x Chubby! Reader (fem)

written with a female reader in mind, first person pov, no use of Y/N, fluffy, mild angst, will probably get NSFW later, let me know if there's anything else I should tag this with!

warnings: reader character dealing with anxiety from previous chapter (non-descriptive),hinted at trauma from fatphobia, hints of Jason's self esteem and body image issues, otherwise it's fluff central

word count: 2.2k (oops? 😅)

Chapter Selection

Ding!

I looked over at my phone, briefly considering not picking it up. When I got through my front door I had ripped my jeans off, suddenly hating everything touching me. I showered, scrubbing the night off until my skin was raw and tingling, and now I was curled up on my bed sheets, having a good cry. I didn't really want to talk to anyone right now…

Ding! Ding! … Ding!

God, whoever it was was insistent though … I sighed softly and picked it up, checking the messages:

Jason: Good morning! I am so sorry for the sudden disappearance - my phone broke on my way to visit my brother! 

3:15am

Jason: Just got back into town, so I've finally got the sim card in an old one for now.

3:17am

Jason: I feel bad, I owe you a week of good mornings! 😭

3:17am

Jason: And sorry for spamming you - I just didn't want you to think the worst for a second longer than necessary…

3:18am

I stared at the screen for a long while. Jason was back … just like Red Hood said. Huh… 

Me: Don't worry about it, shit happens!

3:40am

Jason: … What are you still doing up? 

3:41am

I briefly considered telling him everything. Maybe it would feel good to tell someone … or maybe it would feel even worse. We didn't really know each other yet, who knew how he would react? Nausea gripped my stomach and I shook my head, taking a few deep breaths before replying.

Me: Just got home is all. Picked up a late shift tonight.

3:50am

Jason: That's a hell of a late shift, that must have sucked!

3:52am

Me: … Yeah, honestly it wasn't great… 😔

3:53am

Jason: What are you doing tomorrow?

3:54am

Me: Nothing in particular, y?

3:56am

Jason: That settles it then! No more excuses, come hell or high water I will see you tomorrow!

3:56am

I stared at the screen, not sure how to feel about that idea. I did want to see him again, but I also really just wanted to sleep for 48 hours straight…

Jason: Seriously, name a time and place. We'll do anything you want! 😁

3:59am

Me: You don't have to do that, Jason - you just got back! Don't you need to work?

4:00am

Jason: Nope! We came back a day early, so I am all yours!

4:02am

Me: … All mine, huh? 😏

4:05am

Jason: 100%! Anything you want, name it!

4:06am

Me: … Gotham City Mall, meet in front of the bookstore at … say 4?

4:08am

Jason: Perfect, see you in 12 hours! Good night

4:08am

Me: Good night Jason

4:09am

I was exhausted, but couldn't seem to sleep. I was still coming down from the anxiety and adrenaline from being attacked, and now I was also nervous and tentatively excited about seeing Jason. This was the step that usually proved someone was playing games with me. I sighed softly, sliding a hand down my soft tummy. I didn't mind the way I was shaped, but other people sure had a way of making it seem like the end of the world… I silently begged the universe; let this one be good. No more games, let it be real this time…

When I finally did sleep, my dreams were filled with red. Blood all over the pavement, staining everything. Red chrome staring me down as I cried. Large hands, so gentle against my cheeks, pulling me against a warm, broad chest…

I woke with a start and peered over at my discarded clothes in a heap from the night before. Red Hood's flannel peaked out from under my ruined pants, taunting me; I was about to go on a date and I was dreaming about another man? A man I was surely never going to see again no less? That's real healthy, well done Brain.

I stepped over the clothes on the floor, not wanting to deal with the mess left over from last night, and selected a cute but comfortable outfit. I ate a quick breakfast, spent longer than I'd care to admit on my hair and makeup, and headed downstairs to catch the bus to the mall.

My anxiety grew as I approached the front doors. It’s a trick, it must be a trick. The cold air conditioning hit me in the face, a welcome respite from the summer heat, and I made my way toward the bookstore. He's a hottie, and really sweet. Or at least knows how to play sweet. He's definitely not actually interested. I could see the sign for the bookstore on the other side of the mall. And he's a Wayne too! What could a Wayne want with me?? … Oh god, I threatened them, didn't I? I told the little one I'd stab them if they came back to the table. Why did I say that???

I blinked a bit, pausing. That was him, leaned against the wall right next to the bookstore. He had actually shown up. I watched him scroll on his phone for a minute before looking up and scanning the crowd. When his eyes landed on me I continued walking toward him. He pocketed his phone, kicked off the wall, and walked over to meet me, a little grin lighting up his face.

“You're actually here…” the words left my mouth before I could reconsider, my disbelief apparent in my tone. Jason looked a bit confused at that, awkwardly rubbing the back of his head.

“Well, yeah? … You said 4, right?”

“Sorry! Yes, I said 4. I just … I honestly wasn't sure this was … real…”

“Why wouldn't it be real?”

I blushed a bit, clearing my throat slightly; “n- never mind! Sorry, I had a weird week; my brain hasn't fully caught up.”

He nodded a little, smiling gently. “Well, I hope it's getting better at least.”

I nodded. “Yeah, it is. Thanks. … So, what should we do?”

“Like I said last night; anything you want.”

“Well, … we're right here, do you want to start at the bookstore?”

He nodded and fell into step beside me, smiling gently. I could feel his eyes on me as I walked into the store, browsing the aisles. It was odd how comfortable this was; he was a good half foot taller than me, and at least 200 pounds of pure muscle. If his arms and cheek were any gauge he was absolutely covered in old scars, and he had a bandage on one forearm so whatever gave him the scars probably wasn't confined to the past.

I should be terrified - everything about my upbringing told me this was a dangerous situation to be in. But when I saw the look in his eyes, like I was the most interesting thing in the world, all of my self-defense training fell out of my head. The voices urging me to get to safety quieted, all my instincts stilled, and there was peace. His eyes were so beautiful… 

“... Is there something on my face?” He blushed a bit, chuckling awkwardly.

I blinked, looking away. “Sorry! I wasn't staring, I just …”

“... Did you want to ask about this?” he pointed to the scar on his cheek.

“Huh? No! I have a policy of not asking people about stuff like that; you'll tell me or not on your own time. No, I just … I like your eyes is all …’’ I blushed brightly, staring at but not reading the back cover of a book.

“... My eyes?” I nodded, still pretending to read the back cover. “... You're really not going to ask about my scars?”

“Unless you want to talk about them, it's not any of my business.”

“... You're a very unusual girl.”

“Because I'm not going to pry about something you may or may not want to talk about, particularly on a first date?”

“Well, they're usually the first thing anyone wants to talk to me about. If they don't avoid me in the first place…”

I frowned a bit at that. If we met under any other circumstances, I would have taken one look at him and ducked my head to avoid an interaction. “... People suck…”

“It's not their fault; I'm intimidating…” I cautiously looked over at him. He was also staring at a book cover, a pensive little frown on his face.

“... I don't think you're intimidating.”

His eyes darted over and back to the book, and the corner of his mouth curled up ever so slightly. “... Thanks.”

I nodded, setting the book down. “.... So …”

“So? …”

“... Play a game?”

He chuckled, looking over at me. “A game?”

I nodded. “You tell me some of your favorite things in books, I'll tell you some of mine. We separate, select a few of our favorites that the other might like, and reconvene.”

“Alright. Is there a way to win this game?”

“Well I assume we'll each pick at least one book the other hasn't read, so we'll get to make each other read at least one of our favorites. That sounds like a win to me.”

He chuckled. “Alright. Meet back up at those comfy chairs in the back?”

I nodded, telling him some of my favorite tropes, genres, and settings. He did the same, and we darted in opposite directions. He beat me back there, but I eventually approached with a small stack, falling into the seat next to him.

He gestured toward my books; “ladies first.”

I tucked my feet under me, passing him each book in turn and making a case for it. He took each one, read the back cover, and listened intently. He had read one of them, and I figured he'd pick one of the others, if that, but he insisted he was going to get them all. When it was his turn, I wasn't entirely sure what to expect, but Pride and Prejudice wasn't the first thing that came to mind. 

“I've seen a few movie adaptations, but I haven't gotten around to reading it.” I smiled softly, taking the book. It was a beautiful blue cover with swirling calligraphy font in gold.

“An unparalleled tragedy - I insist this is the one you're taking home!” I giggled at his determined tone and nodded.

“Yes, sir!” I made a little mock salute, trying not to smirk at the sudden wave of pink overtaking his face. “... Well, what else do you have for me?”

He cleared his throat awkwardly, looking at the books in his hands. “Ah, um …”

One by one he passed me Hamlet, the Three Musketeers, a book of Greek myths, and … a trashy romance?

“... Not gonna lie, this is an unexpected choice.” I read the back. It looked like your typical bodice ripper.

He chuckled, blushing a bit. “Look, it was the only book I had access to one day and I was losing my mind with boredom. But if you give it a chance, it's actually really well written, and the love interest isn't one of those creepy possessive guys the genre is known for, so …”

I nodded, taking a picture of the book covers. “I will give it a chance then!”

“... Why are you taking a picture of them?”

“... To get later? I'll start with this one, since you were so determined that I read it.” I held up Pride and Prejudice. Jason gathered up the others, putting them on his stack, then gently took Pride and Prejudice from me as well.

“Or I could just get them for you.” 

“What? Jason, no. I mean, that’s really sweet of you, but that's way too much!” Between the books he'd picked out for me and the ones I'd selected for him, he was holding at least $200 in his hands. And he'd picked the pretty hardcovers too! 

He shook his head. “I've had to cancel on you at least 5 times, and then I disappeared with no warning. You have been incredibly patient and understanding, and I will make today worth it.”

I blushed brightly, a bit surprised. “Jason, … you're worth waiting for. I enjoy talking to you, you don't have to spend money on me for today to be worth my time.”

He looked away uncomfortably, bright red, holding the stack of books to his chest. “... I … I like talking to you too … just let me do this, yeah? Call it a first date splurge.”

“... Alright, if you're sure. But I don't want you making a habit of this.”

He nodded, smiling softly. “Don't worry; I know you're a strong, independent woman.”

I nodded once, chuckling. “Damn right.”

Jason grinned, god he had an infectious grin, and led me to stand in line together. He held the stack of books in one hand, and we chatted a bit more while we waited for our turn. I was looking at a selection of little plushies in the impulse items when I felt something brush ever so slightly against my finger. I looked down; his trembling hand was next to mine, his pinky slightly extended toward me. I chuckled softly, extending mine toward him, and gently linked our fingers together. He stiffened ever so slightly before relaxing into it, gently squeezing back.

Next ->

Divider by @saradika (and my thanks for making them free to use!)

Taglist (let me know in the comments if you want to be added or dropped!)

@jawdropforkpop @krys0210 @snowy-violet @superthoughts @wordsfromshona

[gay-dorito-dust]

Hi!! How do you think potential meet cutes with Jason would go? Do you think he’d be instantly smitten? He strikes me as the type to get a crush on you since the first meeting but maybe I’m just delusional 🥰

My honest opinion but I don’t think Jason likes smut books. He doesn’t mind a little bit of smut but would much prefer if it was nonexistent or didn’t take up a ridiculous amount of pages/chapters in the book in general.

I’m also a delusional twat anon who believes Jason would feel something upon first meetings, but firstly I have to heavily disclose that most of your run ins with one another would be in a book store/cafe, at least more so then anywhere else. (Book reader Jason supremacy!)

So to say that your interest was peaked upon first spotted a six foot something, beast of a man standing in front of the romance section, holding two different books -which were both written by the Jane Austen- in each hand was an understatement.

Normally you wouldn’t expect a man like Jason in the romance section of a small, quite but quaint bookstore/cafe, withholding an internal conflict over some books in his head as though his life depended on it. However the fact still stands that you deeply appreciate a man with good taste in his personal readings, and wasn’t afraid to indulge in the romance genre.

It probably also didn’t help that he was a conventionally attractive man with short dark hair with a tuft of white embedded in his fringe and wearing a simple read hoodie and jeans, a simple attire that anyone could wear, but on him he made it seem as though it were a main staple of his wardrobe.

Jason, knowing when he’s being watched, as quick to look over his shoulder but what he wasn’t expecting was to see someone as cute and stunning as you standing there. He’s a little tongue tied but that was mainly from surprise, and for all of Jason’s hard attempts of trying to act natural, it only made for a spectacle that you couldn’t help but view as endearing and kinda cute.

‘You alright there?’ You’d ask with a smile.

‘Yeah. I’m good, fine even.’ Jason replied, internally cursing himself for being caught off guard because he was too involved in debating which book to take home to read.

‘So…You like Jane Austen?’ You asked, trying to make room for a conversation to occur between the two of you.

‘Wha-‘ Jason looks down at the books in either of his hands and chuckles. ‘Yeah, she’s one of my favourite alongside the likes of Mary Shelley and Louisa May Alcott.’ He answers and he could tell that he had gotten your approval with the little hum of acknowledgment.

‘Do you come here often?’ You then said before adding with an awkward laugh of your own, ‘I mean I come here quite frequently as it’s the only bookstore in town that has proper books that aren’t smut books, and i have never seen you before until well…today.’ Jason smiles, finding himself growing to like you with every passing moment as he felt himself grow relaxed within your presence, especially now that he had long deducted that you weren’t a real threat.

‘I’m with you on that pretence, it’s seems that nowadays all the bookshelves in most stores are prominently smut books of lacklustre quality and story structure.’ Jason agreed, noting being a fan of those types of books himself, Jason had found it becoming increasingly difficult to find decent books that weren’t smut, badly written girl boss self inserts, or just poorly written in general. So when he stumbled across this little book store on his way home and took a chance by entering the store, only to find himself spending way longer than he had initially thought.

And that was just in the romance section alone. That’s how Jason knew this bookstore was unlike all the rest in Gotham.

‘But as to answer your question, I come here on the off chance when I’m looking for a new book to read, seeing as I have read and re-read the books in my personal possession multiple times over.’ Jason admitted and feeling a little bashful but reading had proven to be a form of escapism for him- especially after everything he has been through recently- he felt as though this escape from reality was severely overdue.

‘You’ve got your own collection of books? Am I allowed to assume that they’re mainly Jane Austen’s body of work or?’ You trailed off, feeling yourself growing more confident with talking to Jason as though it was as easy as breathing. Finally you had someone to indulge in this sort of conversation with without it feeling forced and fall to the wayside, leaving you both to soak in the awkward and stifling aftermath.

Jason smiled genuinely as he bowed his head and raised his hands. ‘You got me down to a science…’ he trailed off once realising that he didn’t know your name and cursed himself for his lack of even the basic of etiquette.

‘Y/n.’ You told him with a smile.

‘Y/n.’ He tested out your name, letting it linger for a little bit and quickly came to the conclusion that he liked it. He liked it a lot. And you liked it also, especially when he was the one saying it the way he did just now.

‘Well it’s nice to meet you y/n. My names Jason.’ Jason then said and he knew that he’d come to like the way you said his name as though it were a mythical word;

‘Jason.’ You uttered, saying every word with care and respect that it left a weird feeling within Jason’s chest that only seems to grow and spread throughout his body the more you talked.

You two would talk for literal hours about your favourite book genres, characters and so on to the point that the owner of the bookstore would have to remove you both from the premises himself. He’d then proceed to go on about how you both were just taking the piss at this point and muttering about having to stay an while longer to properly close up shop, count the cash float, and so on before then making the journey home.

He honestly didn’t care about the books in Jason’s hand, just lets him have them for free on the pretence that both he and you get the fuck out before shutting and locking the door behind you both.

‘Well…’ Jason trailed off, tucking the books under his arm. ‘Will I see you again? Preferably here?’ He asks and you smiled sheepishly.

‘Depends, will you?’ You countered and Jason could feel the smile on his lips grow at it’s own accord. ‘Yeah, I’m definitely coming back if I get free books for every time I stay until closing hours.’ He jokes and you lightly smack his bicep, keeping your hand there for an unreasonably long time but it’s not like either you or Jason cared in that moment.

‘Then I guess I’m obligated to come back here to help you piss off the bookstore owner.’ You replied with a smile of your own as you both kept looking into the other’s eyes. You both knew something had blossomed here today at this run down bookstore, and you both hoped that it could continue like that for a long while, but neither of you were willing to admit your embarrassingly rapidly growing attraction to one another. That could wait for another time.

‘Great.’ Jason said.

‘Great.’ You echoed. ‘See you soon I guess.’

‘Soon can’t come fast enough.’ Jason replied ask you both went your separate ways with eager anticipation of your next interaction.

[muzetrigger]

In celebration of Nevermore S2, I feel the need to explain why I’m hoping for more Ada page time/development and why she’s my absolute favorite character, despite the series being absolutely stuffed with quality.

Oh and also why MorellAda is peak. I WILL TAKE NO ARGUMENTS ON THIS POINT.

So yeah, MAJOR SPOILERS Y’ALL

Okay, so when we’re first introduced Ada, she’s a minor antagonist, not just in the sense that she’s not the main villain, but that literally, she’s just kind of an annoyance to both Lenore and Prospero. That being said, shortly after the Labyrinth arc, we see her genuinely impressed with Lenore and trying to make amends.

Now at that point, there’s no real reason for us to believe that Ada is telling the truth. Yeah, she seems like she’s being genuine, but so far, we also know that she’s been playing some social games to get ahead.

That’s where we get this first piece of insight into her character (not actually the first piece but whatever):

Ada chooses caviar as her last meal, despite not liking it, or ever having had it before. She is the only student who doesn’t enjoy her final meal, and that tells us that one, Ada doesn’t know what’s good for her; two, that she probably comes from a lower class background that never would have had access to caviar; and three, that she aspires to that upper class position. She is exactly what Morella would call a “phony” but while her phoniness impacts her social behavior in the ways that Morella criticizes, she’s also lying to herself without even realizing it.

Okay, but that’s a bit of subtle character development, so Red and Flynn hit us with this:

(In case you didn’t hate Montressor already)

This moment is so critical to understanding Ada because it shows that she has absolutely no limits when it comes to proving her worth to other people. Why? Because Ada has no sense of self-worth. She is completely dependent on other people’s thoughts to feel adequate. That’s why she clings so hard to Prospero and Annabel Lee, which makes this preceding exchange even more brutal.

Ada reaches out to Annabel for support, and Annabel ignores her.

Annabel BETRAYS her, and this is going to become something of a running theme for Ada.

Now, of course, Annabel has problems, but this is COLD.

So cold even Prospero is surprised, and this sets up why Ada crumbles so easily, because the one person she thought was her friend at this school, literally her roommate (and we know what happens when you’re not on good terms with your roommate), the person who gave her (fake) love advice, just left her out in the rain.

No one is on her side, not Annabel who’s ignoring her, not Prospero (who is rightly) annoyed with her clinginess, not Will who is supporting Montresor, and certainly not Montresor who is verbally abusing her.

The only person by Ada’s side is Morella, partly because she’s being targeted too, but also because Morella is trying to protect Ada.

(Look at that hug. That is a small puppy trying to cheer up her depressed friend.)

Chapter 39-40 firmly cemented Ada as my favorite character because we get a deconstruction of this preppy, pompous, phony personality into someone with crippling self-worth issues, and I don’t know about anyone else, but I relate HARD to those feelings of inadequacy and needing external validation. Will might be the doppelgänger, but Ada is the one with Imposter Syndrome.

Anyway, now we’re going to have to skip a few chapters, because while the haunted house arc is great, it doesn’t really do much with Ada’s character. We do learn that Ada was almost definitely a servant in her past life because she’s able to navigate the house’s secret passages, and we learn that yes, she’s a romantic who clearly doesn’t understand TPO (time, place, and occasion).

Those details are important to understanding Ada, because they help contextualize why her confidence is so abysmal (servants aren’t to be seen or heard) and why she clings so strongly to ideas of ladyhood and romance (the women she served would certainly have appeared to be more comfortable than her, though I’m sure Lenore and Annabel would disagree).

We also get this feast for the MorellAda shippers:

At this point, it’s implied that Morella has stonewalled dozens of students into Prospero’s death trap, but she makes one exception that she will not stand for, and it’s Ada.

At first, I thought this was a little weird, because why wouldn’t Morella protect Lenore? I mean, she’s the protagonist and clearly treats Morella better, but looking back, it’s telling that Ada is the one who Morella chooses.

Morella’s whole deal is that she wants to protect people, and Lenore isn’t vulnerable, Ada is.

Red and Flynn do a lot of excellent foil work in Nevermore, most prominently with Lenore and Annabel, but the contrast between Ada’s dependence on what other people think of her and Morella’s dependence on what she can do for other people is just another reason why I think MorellAda is so good.

But the real interesting events happen post-house.

Prospero has had it.

Now, was Ada being clingy? Yes.

Was she being totally oblivious to all of Prospero’s signals? Yes.

Did she deserve to be told directly that Prospero was just not that into her? Hell. Yes.

But did she deserve THAT much of a verbal beat down? Probably not, especially keeping in mind that Annabel told her this:

So now that I’ve thrown Annabel under the bus for her hand in this disaster, I want to look at one line from Prospero in particular:

“Nothing you say will make you good enough.”

It’s not the final line of Prospero’s diatribe, but it’s definitely the one that hits the hardest for Ada. She is trying SO hard to play the part of a lady in order to be loved, and she is being told that at a fundamental level, she is inadequate.

And she takes that about as well as someone who’s had this happen to them could:

A hatchet to the stomach’s going to ruin anyone’s day, but we can reasonably infer that the person who axe’d Ada was probably the young master she was serving and was having an affair with, and that he aimed for her stomach to abort any kind of child she might have carried.

Again, we see this theme of betrayal and rejection. Ada might not have been able to be a lady, but in an affair, she might been able to pretend that she genuinely had her master’s affection, even though she was just there at his convenience.

This was foreshadowed all the way back with Ada’s first confrontation with Montressor and it’s a great example of how thoroughly planned Red and Flynn’s writing is (Annabel Lee’s panic attack at Lenore’s death in the Labyrinth and the House Fire is another amazing example).

But, it’s also super traumatic which means we finally get Ada’s Spectre!

First, let me gush about how AMAZING this design is. Just aesthetically, it’s great. But it’s also amazing because of how it showcases so much of Ada’s identity. If you look at the spectre’s skirt, you’ll notice it has two distinct parts, a larger back that mimics a lady’s hoop skirt, and a pleated miniskirt, which wouldn’t be out of place in a skimpy maid costume. In her spectre form, we can clearly see Ada attempting to match a lady’s silhouette but upon closer inspection, we can also see the part of Ada that might have sparked her fatal affair, this symbol of risqué servantile behavior.

It’s also worth mentioning what ISN’T in the Banshee’s design, her abdomen. Obviously, this might be a reference to the fact that she was killed by a hatchet to the gut, but if we get dark with it (and it’s Nevermore, we can’t not get dark with it), what men traditionally (and unfortunately still do if the 2024 US elections are anything to go by…) value in a woman, her reproductive ability, is absent.

Ada, who places so much importance on what others think of her, is literally is worthless to them. (I want to clarify, I DON’T personally believe that, but from a 19th-20th century male perspective, that tracks.)

We could also read her abdomen’s absence as another attempt for Ada to play into feminine expectations. Because she’s missing her stomach, she has a tight hourglass figure. I don’t personally believe Ada has an eating disorder, but as the last dinner scene clearly indicates, she has a complicated relationship with food and what stigmas are attached to specific cuisines, and unfortunately many people do metaphorically throw away their stomachs to pursue beauty goals like Ada’s spectre does literally.

Stepping away from design, I also love how Ada acts immediately after getting the slightest bit of power.

She is PETTY.

She taunts Prospero (and let’s face it, you cheered. Don’t lie to me!), which I find so interesting because suddenly, Ada is the one giving opinions.

Ada is finally allowed to express herself.

Here, she takes it out on Annabel, which makes total sense. Annabel abandoned her and is the embodiment of what Ada craves outwardly. But Ada also recognizes that she herself is a servant who was forced to serve people like Annabel and denied their comforts because of her status. If Ada hadn’t been a maid, if maybe she had been a noble or a “true lady”, maybe should would have been allowed a romance or allowed to keep her child or at least allowed to live.

The Banshee is such a perfect moment, because until this scene, Ada has bottled up her insecurities and played the part of a loyal lackey and been this “phony”. As a servant, her entire livelihood would have revolved around keeping up appearances (or disappearances) around her masters, but as a ghost, Ada is more genuine than she has ever been.

And that’s so wonderfully displayed by how Annabel defuses the situation:

To the very end, we see Ada being vulnerable. Annabel takes advantage of her insecurities, and as the Banshee, Ada doesn’t try to hide the fact that it devastates her.

If the Montressor moment didn’t guarantee a place in my heart for Ada, Episode 71 definitely did. I’m not going to argue that characters in Nevermore haven’t experienced worse, but I will argue that no character in season one ever gets close to how pathetic and distraught Ada is here.

And what’s so heart-wrenching about this for me is that Ada is aware of how pathetic she is. She knows she’s been acting like an idiot and throwing a tantrum like a child, which is a surprising amount of insight and maturity for someone we have been led to believe is quite frankly an idiot. And yeah, I relate to those feelings of self-loathing and not knowing what to do or even where to start triaging a disaster I made myself.

Now, Montressor takes advantage of this like the abuser he is by swooping in and wooing Ada, but before that, I’m going to rewind like the shipper I am to replay this:

Again, we see Morella trying to help Ada! And obviously, that’s not what Ada needs at that moment, but it’s worth keeping in mind that out of everyone in the lecture hall then, Morella is the first and really only one to reach out to Ada. (Montressor is a manipulator. He doesn’t count.)

Last time skip, I promise!

The end of the Wall arc doesn’t quite reach the highs (or is it lows?) of Ada’s character development, but I’m so excited for what it sets up in season two.

So, Lenore and the gang find where Montressor has Cask of Amantillado’d Duke and they dig their favorite French man out while beating the shit out of our cowboy(?). There’s a ton of great moments (hell yeah, Pluto! Get him!) but the battle really swings in the misfits’ favor when Duke hypnotizes Ada to traumatize Montresor.

One, this is just an amazing display of Duke’s spectre, two, it shows that Montressor has reasons (maybe not great reasons but at least they’re reasons) for being such an asshole, and three, it shows us that mental spectre powers are straight up busted.

We already knew from Prospero that Ada’s fear factor could trap a person inside a vision of their own trauma so realistic they can feel the physical effects of it, but she can also send a man with a broken Fibula into a full blown frenzy, AND Duke’s hypnosis is something even he can’t dispel.

(Does this look like the face of a man who has things under control?)

It also sets up this exchange:

Morella is able to break through Duke’s hypnosis, and she does it without attacking Ada’s insecurities like Annabel did. Now, I’m a hopeless MorellAda shipper, so of course I reading into this, but even then, it showcases how important Morella is to Ada. After all, Morella is basically the only person who has stuck by Ada’s side this whole time.

…At least until this happens:

Morella has had enough of Ada’s excuses, and just like Prospero basically tells her to shove off.

But the painfully ironic part about this is, Ada is telling the truth. This ONE time, it really isn’t her fault. It’s Duke’s.

But Morella won’t let her get a word in and I love how Flynn drew Ada’s face. It’s a different kind of fear than when Ada was groveling in front of Montresor or reeling from Prospero’s rejection. Here, she isn’t afraid of being abandoned by Morella; she’s afraid of losing Morella.

I know that difference might sound REALLY contrived to some people, but in this case, Ada has a way to keep Morella in her life that doesn’t involve debasing herself and believes that Morella will listen to her. For the first time ever, Ada thinks she has a little control over the situation together with a friend, not an enemy. They can talk things out, and that really shows how close her connection with Morella is and how that connection can be the catalyst for Ada to start developing some self-respect.

Except Morella totally shuts her down.

Of course, I’m disappointed that there’s this “divorce arc” but it makes sense in context and it’s healthier for Morella to make a clean break from the posh crew (even though Ada clearly needs her wife more than ever, like come on, don’t leave her in Monstresor’s clutches!)

Speaking of which, I’m much more disappointed with how Ada immediately crawls back to Montresor and Annabel after being chastised. If there’s one thing I have on my season two checklist, it’s Ada learning to have some confidence in herself (and maybe tossing Montresor to the Hunt).

And I really want an apology from Morella and Duke to Ada. Now THAT’S delusional, and I might be the only one who thinks Ada deserves those apologies, because let’s face it, Ada is a wreck, but it would be nice, especially if she gives out the several dozen apologies she owes the misfit crew too, so that she can hang with them and spend more time with her wife Morella.

Anyway, yeah.

I really like Nevermore.

And I really like Ada. I think she’s severely underrated.

Of course I love Lenore and Annabel, and Morella is a precious and badass cinnamon roll, and Duke is so SO cool, and Pluto is cute as hell, and Eulalie is basically manga-Orihime (which is amazing), but there’s something so HUMAN about Ada.

I empathize with her in ways that I just can’t with the rest of the cast because… they’re just too awesome. I have difficulty believing Lenore or Annabel will ever feel something as fundamentally devastating as Ada has. At their core, they’re just stronger people. Ada is someone who needs more support and it’s nice to see those weaker characters treated with the same amount of care as a protagonist who we typically see stumble a lot but ultimately succeed. With side characters, there’s a genuine chance that they fail permanently and that adds so much to Ada’s stakes.

And honestly? I’ll say it. I think a lot of the students had alright lives or even good lives, they just happened to be cut short traumatically. Exceptions for Lenore (obviously) and Pluto (baby, you deserved so much better than your deadbeat dad), possibly Eulalie for having to live through WWII, but you’re not going to tell me that Montresor didn’t have a good run being awful, Duke didn’t have a successful performance career, and Prospero wasn’t a wealthy bastard. But who knows? We haven’t delved too much into the others’ backstories, so I could be very wrong.

Anyway, I guess this was just a very long-winded way of me saying I love Ada because I’m a total girl-failure and also I’m super excited for season two.

[flowerandblood]

The Taste of Shame (3)

[ dom!modern • Aemond x friend sister • female ]

[ warnings: sex content, oral sex, smut, angst, domination and submission kink, butt slapping, cock warming ]

[ description: Aemond works as a professional dom, fulfilling the various fantasies of his female clients - however, he guards his privacy and does not enter into any relationships with them, recognizing that he does not want or need it. It turns out that what he wants and what he doesn’t no longer matter when he meets his friend’s younger sister for the first time. Slow burn, sexual tension, doubts related to sex work. ]

Series & Characters Moodboard Aemond NSFW Alphabet

* English is not my first language. Please, do not repost. Enjoy! *

Next chapters: Masterlist

_____

Never before in his life had he been so thrilled and terrified at the same time as the day she was to visit him − it was the first time he had ever invited anyone to his flat and the first time in four years he was going to have sex with anyone without signing a contract.

It was liberating in a way.

Of course, he had researched the area beforehand; she was someone who was completely inexperienced in these matters and was surely horrified by her idea of what he dreamed of doing with her, so he tried to reassure her that they would just talk calmly first.

He wasn't going to rush her, nor was he going to jump out with tying or toys when she was so unsure and scared. He was about more than domination − he felt something for her and had layers of tenderness towards her that made him look at the whole thing differently.

He also assured her, to comfort her in some way, that he too had his limits or certain things that made him uncomfortable. He explained to her that he felt out of sorts when a woman suddenly touched him or held him tightly during close-ups, it made him feel trapped and threatened.

She, on the other hand, liked the closeness of a man and touched him involuntarily, so she was afraid that it would make him feel frustrated − he reassured her that this was why they were talking about it, to know what to expect and to meet halfway, to offer something in return so that each felt fulfilled and safe.

When she told him she was taking the pills, he made an appointment for a medical check-up to make sure he wasn't carrying any disease, despite the fact that he had always protected himself well. He breathed a sigh of relief when the test results were negative, dreaming only of reaching his peak inside her.

On the day she was due to come to him he felt like a happy little child and didn't know what to do with himself. He cleaned up his flat, changed his bedding into fresh ones, put glasses of water and wet wipes by the bedside table.

Everything was ready.

When she knocked on his door he was afraid to move from his seat for a moment − only after a while did he walk over and open it for her, letting her in.

She stepped into the hallway of his flat and stood still, looking at him with big eyes, her lips tightened, her cheeks red, her shiny hair loose, on her body a light dress fastened in front with small buttons and trainers, on her shoulders a small backpack.

She was terrified.

"− come in −" He said softly, warmly, not recognising himself and surprised at how he sounded.

The tone of his voice towards his female clients was always polite, but cool and matter-of-fact at the same time.

She nodded, pulling off her shoes and stepping deeper, glancing around his living room and dining room, looking everywhere but at him.

"− would you like a drink? −" He asked out of politeness, feeling his gaze involuntarily escape to her bare thighs, wondering if she had underwear on beneath her dress.

She shook her head, swallowing quietly, her hands clasped together in front of her in a defensive gesture.

"No, thank you." She said quietly, and he felt his heart squeeze at the thought that she was sacrificing herself for him, that she feared she would neither like it nor live up to his expectations, that he would be disappointed in her.

He felt that he was faced with the challenge of proving to her how wrong she was.

That it was all just a matter of understanding the other person's needs.

"− do you want to get to the point? −" He asked bluntly; she looked at him quickly, swallowing hard, and lowered her gaze, embarrassed and abashed.

He hummed under his breath, delighted at how humble and sweet she was, feeling what he saw in his trousers.

That he could fuck her right now, on his dining room table.

But he had plans for her.

He approached her slowly − she flinched as he reached his hands into her backpack and slowly slid it off her shoulders, placing it on the floor. He grasped her cheek in his fingers and leaned against her − her pupils dilated in desire, her lips parted involuntarily revealing to him what she wanted.

He had never kissed his female clients, but her lips he had craved to taste in every way possible ever since he saw her for the first time.

"− if you have any doubts, tell me −" He whispered looking at her feeling his heart pounding hard, her skin under his hand seemed so soft he felt his fingers sinking into it.

She looked at him for a moment breathing unevenly; he could see that she was struggling with herself, that hundreds of thoughts were running through her mind at once.

"− I − I think I'm a little scared −" She muttered so innocently and so uncertainly that he felt a tightness in his throat. He grasped her cheeks in his hands and pressed his forehead against hers, soothingly stroking her warm skin with his thumbs.

"− tell me what you're afraid of −" He whispered softly and felt surprised at how he sounded − he had never spoken to anyone like this before, he had never cared so much about making someone feel safe with him.

She licked her lower lip, all dry from stress, letting out a quiet breath, looking at him with big eyes. She shook her head, letting him know that she wasn't able to get it out of her.

He knew what she was thinking about.

"− I won't hurt you − I won't cause you pain − I'm going to watch your and your body's reactions − if I have any doubts about whether what I'm doing is giving you pleasure, I'll stop myself − okay? −" He asked in a calm, warm voice. She nodded and smiled gratefully − he felt a squeeze in his heart and heat in his lower abdomen at the sight.

"Can I touch you?" She asked in a whisper, her voice trembling slightly in excitement and uncertainty. He smiled lightly and nodded, her hands immediately reaching for his face.

He pulled her to him and sank into her puffy mouths, murmuring lowly, feeling how full and moist they were. She moaned softly making his cock throb painfully hard in his trousers, reciprocating his kiss with a wet click, her fingertips trailing over his cheek, scar and jaw, making him feel goosebumps.

Despite the obvious subtext, there was something innocent in those kisses, some promise of peace and slow, tender fulfilment that he so longed to experience with her despite his idea of the night. He pulled away from her and ran the tip of his nose over hers before grabbing her hips and lifting her up, forcing her to wrap her legs around his waist and throw her arms around his neck.

They continued to kiss, lightly brushing against each other's lips as he unhurriedly headed with her to his bedroom. Only his night light was on, surrounding his room with a pleasant, warm glow − he laid her down on his bed and stroked her cheek.

"Do you remember what we talked about?" He asked calmly, feeling how fast his heart was pounding, how aroused he was − she nodded quickly, swallowing hard, all red.

"What's your safeword?" He continued slowly undoing the buttons of her dress, feeling her body tremble at the contact of her bare skin with his fingers.

"Peach." She said with embarrassment, and he smiled under his breath and hummed.

"That's right. Can you say it even when I tell you to be quiet?" He asked, lifting his gaze to her, and she nodded quickly.

"Exactly. You can say it anytime, even if you don't want to stop and just feel uncomfortable. Then we can have a quick talk about what happened and what I shouldn't do to make sure it doesn't happen again. Agreed?" He asked softly, involunarily licking his lower lip as he saw that, true to his assumption, there was nothing under her dress but her beautiful naked body.

"Yes." She whispered softly in a slightly trembling voice, her lips plump and glossy, slightly parted in an accelerated breath.

"Keep your hands above your head as you are now, be quiet and don't move. When I ask you something you are to nod or shake your head. Can you do that for me?" He asked softly and she nodded, looking at him with a trusting gaze from which he felt a tightening in his throat and a throbbing in his trousers.

He wasn't sure he'd ever been so turned on in his life, his heart pounding like crazy.

"− good girl − just let me take care of you −" He murmured, leaning over her face and kissed her lazily, tenderly, lingeringly, her lips parted before him and reciprocated his caress with her quiet sigh.

"− easy now −" He whispered, going his lips slowly lower, to her chin, to her neck. She smelled wonderful, of girly shampoo and shower gel; he knew that, like him, she had taken a bath before their meeting and he barely restrained himself from immediately sinking his face between her plushy thighs.

He did, however, want to become thoroughly acquainted with her body beforehand.

He felt a louder breath escape her lips as he pushed the material of her dress aside with the tip of his nose, revealing her naked breast to him, trailing his warm lips over it before pressing them to her hard nipple and beginning to suck on it.

He felt a shudder pass through her as she restrained her reflex with difficulty, wanting to touch his hair, to press him closer, but her hand returned immediately to its place.

"− you like showing them off, hmm? − when men can see your nipples through your fucking shirt −" He growled warningly, pressing his fingers tightly against the soft skin of her thigh, playing with her nipple in his mouth. He felt a huge shiver go through her − she stifled her moan that wanted to escape from her throat, shaking her head.

He gasped with satisfaction at seeing this, sliding his hand down to her thigh, trailing his fingers along the inside of it, the tip of his tongue teased her nipple before he began to suck on it again − he felt her body move beneath him, heard her press her lips together, knew she was dying of desire.

"− just like that − breathe deeply through your mouth −" He instructed her and she nodded, beginning to pant quietly as his hand slid down between her thighs, with slow, light movements of his fingertips teasing her puffy clit.

She pressed her lips together and stifled the quiet quiver that broke from her throat − he looked at her with a furrowed brow.

"− quiet − if I have to reprimand you again, I'll slap your butt so hard that you won't be able to sit on it tomorrow − do you understand? −" He asked lowly and she nodded, swallowing with difficulty, arching her eyebrows in despair as his fingers began to stroke her with more pressure, rubbing her clit in low circular motions, making her body shiver.

"− don't move −" He reminded her coolly, and she immediately froze, her thighs shaking, spread before him in a gesture of obedience.

He released her breast from his mouth with a quiet plop, trailing them lower, down her belly, until he reached her hips, leaving wet, hot marks on them. He heard her draw in a loud breath as he grasped her thighs in his hands and spread them wider in front of him, leaning over what was between them.

"− fuck, little one − so much has flowed out of you already −" He gasped approvingly as he ran his rough tongue over her hot, throbbing slit leaking from her moisture, her body arched, a sigh escaping her lips.

"− lie still −" He remarked to her, clamping his hand painfully tight on her buttock. "− this is my last warning −"

He growled, then leaned down, pressing his face against her womanhood and slipped his tongue deep inside her, unable to hold out any longer, eating her like a starving man.

He heard her whimper loudly and she covered her mouth in a helpless gesture to contain any sound − his hand slapped her buttock with all his strength, a squeal came from her lips.

"− be fucking quiet −" He hissed, rubbing the tip of his nose against her swollen bud, his tongue teasing and pressing the spot hidden between the muscles inside her again, he could feel her walls clenching around nothing, his mouth all sticky from her wetness.

"− what is it? − my sweet little girl is close already? −" He asked teasingly looking up at her − she nodded in shame and involuntarily moaned as he accelerated his pace, his hand again slapping her buttock with all his force, leaving a big red mark of his palm, which he massaged reassuringly immediately afterwards.

He pulled away from her, rising on his knees, unzipping his trousers quickly, feeling that he would go mad if he didn't feel her soon, his cock all swollen, leaking from his precum.

"− you're doing so good for me, baby − can you hold on a little longer? −" He cooed, grasping her hips in his hands, trailing his throbbing erection over her hot, wet folds, her body trembling − he hummed with satisfaction when she nodded her head, swallowing loudly, her sweet lips slightly parted.

He stroked her thigh with his hand, with the other guiding pink, leaking head of his cock against her heat, sliding into her a little, teasing her and himself for a while, panting hard − she pressed her lips together closing her eyes and stifled a cry.

"− tell me what you want − use your words −" He commanded lowly, rocking his hips, not sliding fully into her, pressing deliberately with the tip of his manhood the spot inside her from which her whole body was twitching.

"− p-please − please, deeper −" She mumbled in despair, and he knew it was over, that he couldn't take it anymore.

He tightened his hands on her hips and pushed himself all the way into her, her fleshy walls resisting him, clenching against him greedily, intensifying his sensation. They both moaned loudly, surprised at how intensely they felt each other.

"− oh fuck −" He muttered, with painfully slow thrusts of his hips stretching her fleshy walls apart, opening her wide on his cock, a whine escaping her lips each time the thick tip of his manhood rubbed the wonderful spot inside her again, his large hands stroked her smooth thighs in a tender, circular motion, knowing how much she needed his touch now.

"− I know, baby, but we have to take it slow − shhhh −" He hushed her, rooting into her with increasing ease, his cock slick with her moisture − he watching with delight as his length sank into her again and again, her hips trembling in his hands each time he slipped out of her almost all the way just to fill her with himself again.

"− so good − you squeeze my cock so fucking well −" He praised her, feeling the heat in his lower abdomen, their bodies slapping loudly against each other with the sticky click of her moisture, her cheek pressed against his pillow, her fingers clenched tight on his bedding, her eyes closed, her lips parted in absolute delight.

"− p-please − I − mghmm −" She mumbled, her hips coming up to meet his every thrust, her thighs spread wider in front of him, allowing him to enter her deeper.

He licked his lips seeing this, delighted, feeling that he was surprisingly close to fulfilment − he stared at her, focusing only on the heat inside her, her face welted from exertion, her cheeks wonderfully rosy, her lips puffy and shiny, her hair lying in disarray.

"− so pretty − my babbling little baby, hm? −" He hummed, clenching his fingers tighter on her hips, involuntarily starting to slam into her faster, panting with her louder and louder, his cock twitching with pleasure inside her − she was hot, tight and sticky, squeezing him so well that he closed his eyes, trying not to let himself cum too quickly.

"− y-yes −" She mumbled softly, sweetly, and he sighed hearing this, feeling a strong shudder pass through him.

He lost his temper and began to act instinctively, his cock stretching her with every thrust of his hips faster and more aggressively, her babbling turned into mewling, her mouth parted wide in surprise at how intense the sensation was.

"− oh God −" She cried out, panting loudly with him − he licked his lips feeling how hard she squeezed him, pounding into her with sure, violent slaps, not letting her escape, they both began to pant as they were fucking each other like crazy.

He sped up involuntarily, rooting into her like a madman, moaning loudly along with her, feeling shivers run down his spine each time he forced his fat cock into her tight interior again.

"− m − m gonna cum −" She mewled and after a moment her body arched in orgasm, clenching greedily on his cock, sucking it inside, her mouth parted wide in loud, surprised moan of pleasure.

He leaned over her and kissed her greedily, pressing his tongue deep into her throat, panting loudly, rooting his cock into her, heedless of her desperate whines, her insides oversensitive and sore from her fulfillment.

"− no, baby − just a little longer − I need to fill you − thaaat's it, there we go, oooh, fuckkk −" He gasped, coming hard at least, trembling and clenching his eyes shut, a helpless groan of relief escaping his lips as his semen finally spilled inside her.

"− oh God, baby − so fucking good − you did so well for me −" He praised her, placing tender, lingering kisses on her hot cheeks and neck, rocking his hips inside her for a moment longer.

She looked at him with misty eyes, swallowing loudly, breathing hard.

"− can − can I touch you now? −" She asked in a trembling voice, all hot − he smiled lightly and hummed, kissing her again, tenderly and softly.

He murmured contentedly when her arms immediately wrapped around him and pressed him against her naked body − he reciprocated her embrace and snuggled his face into her cheek, trying to calm his breathing.

He wanted to slide out of her, but was stopped by her hand gently gripping his buttocks.

"− can we stay like this? − just for a little longer −" She whispered embarrassed − he felt hot in his heart at the thought that she wanted to keep feeling him inside her.

He returned to his previous position and embraced her, lying down with her on his side, entwining their hands and legs, pressing his forehead against hers, gently teasing the tip of her nose.

"How do you feel? Are you all right? Did you enjoy it?" He asked tenderly, stroking her bare shoulder with his palm, wondering if he'd gone a tad overboard for their first time.

She nodded, swallowing loudly, her body pressed tighter against him, sweaty and hot.

"Yes. Can we take a nap now?" She asked in a whisper and he chuckled under his breath, kissing her nose with delight.

"You can nap at my place all night." He murmured and felt her move as she threw him a surprised look full of hope.

"Can I sleep here?" She mumbled and he snorted, running his nose over her cheek.

"That question assumes you have any choice. I have no intention of letting you out of my arms tonight."

_____

Aemond Taglist:

(bold means I couldn't tag you)

@its-actually-minicika @notnormalthings-blog @nikstrange @zenka69 @bellaisasleep @k-y-r-a-1 @g-cf2020 @melsunshine @opheliaas-stuff @chainsawsangel @iiamthehybrid @tinykryptonitewerewolf @namoreno @malfoytargaryen @qyburnsghost @aemondsdelight @persephonerinyes @fan-goddess @sweethoneyblossom1 @watercolorskyy @randomdragonfires @apollonshootafar @padfooteyes

[redrose10]

It took me longer than I wanted, but it’s finally here and I can’t keep editing it and putting this off. This is something I’ve been working on for a few weeks. It’s not exactly how I had planned it in my head, but I guess that’s how it goes. I was going to try something a little different so I do have a spicy bonus chapter that I was going to include as an extra, but I just don’t think I’m good at writing smut so I’m not sure if that will ever get posted. Let me know if you want it though.

Messages and comments appreciated! This is the first time I’ve ever attempted something like this so be kind please.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Yoongi black cat hybrid X Female reader

Summary: When your good friend shows up in the middle of the night begging for your help, how can you say no. But what if their request makes you start questioning everything you’ve ever believed in?

Warnings: Physical abuse, sexual abuse, swearing, light smut (nothing too graphic), mention of no consent, mention of death/dying and murder, violence, weapons

Word Count: about 14,800 😯

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Shuffling to your front entrance you felt a range of emotions like anger at whomever was pounding on your door at 3am in the rain and also fear because someone was pounding on your door at 3am in the rain. Taking a peak through the front window the fear disappeared when you saw one of your best friends, Namjoon. However, that fear was now replaced with worry. Namjoon was not the type to be out at this hour unless he had a good reason and what concerned you most was what he wanted with you right now.

Swinging open the door he greeted you first, clearly in a hurry. He looked nervous.

“Hi Y/N. I’m so sorry to bother you at this hour, but there is nowhere else I can go. Can we please come in?”

“We?”, you asked brows furrowed.

Namjoon stepped aside and you saw the smaller frame that was hidden behind him, the hood of a sweatshirt blocking their face. Trusting that Namjoon wouldn’t bring anyone around that would hurt you, you motioned for them both to come inside and take a seat. You offered some towels to dry off and started the kettle on the stove to get them something warm to drink.

As you finally took a seat across from the two Namjoon cleared his throat, “Y/N I’m sorry again for just barging in like this. I just really need your help. It’s been kind of a rough night.”

You nodded, but remained silent as you waited for more information. The person sitting next to your friend had yet to make a sound or even look at you giving you an uneasy feeling.

Thankfully Namjoon took the hint and continued, “We completed a raid today. Something we’d been working on for a long time now.”

“Ahh there it is.”, you thought to yourself. Namjoon worked for the the Hybrid Protection Agency or HPA. They were like the FBI, but specialized in hybrid affairs. You had heard numerous stories of them raiding businesses and buildings that were being used as fronts for different illegal operations involving hybrids. You turned your attention back to your friend to hopefully find out what he wanted with you.

“Have you ever heard of Lee Yan?”, he asked.

“No I don’t think I have”, you shook your head not failing to notice the other person flinch at the mention of the name.

Namjoon continued, “He also goes by Viper.”

“Ooohhh.”, your heart skipped a beat. Viper was known as one of the most ruthless hybrid traffickers in the game. He didn’t care who he had to hurt or even kill to achieve his goals. He owned 90% of all hybrid operations and was consistently listed as the most wanted criminal in the HPA’s database. You’d heard Namjoon ramble on and on about how much of a scumbag he was.

“Well we’ve been watching him for a while now. We got wind that he was going to be in town tonight to check on one of his hybrid houses.”

Just hearing that name made you cringe. Hybrid Houses were technically legal because they operated under the guise that they were there for hybrids to use when their natural instincts kicked in. Thanks to the increasing costs of using Hybrid Houses more and more owners started opting to pay for suppressants while some of the harsher owners chose to force their hybrids to just push through it without any help at all by locking them away until it passed. So now the houses are still advertised as such, but really they’re mostly being used as coverups

You realized you’d been completely ignoring everything he was saying so you sat up a little straighter trying your best to focus.

“Anyways, we showed up and raided the place. We managed to rescue about sixteen hybrids. We arrested two of Vipers guys, but unfortunately he was able to get away. Most of the hybrids are being taken to local shelters, a few had to be taken to the hospital. But one of them needs some special care which is what brings me to you.”

“I’m sorry what?”, you asked choking on air. Namjoon knew better than anyone that you didn’t exactly agree with owning a hybrid or anything hybrid related. In your views they were people more than animals and should be treated as such, Therefore they shouldn’t need an owner and you hated the way the government basically deemed them property. Hybrids had fewer rights and protections than any other species and you hated it. Namjoon had attended a few Hybrid Rights rally’s with you so he knew your views on this and you were honestly a little angry he was even trying to bring you into this.

Namjoon chuckled, “I guess I should’ve introduced you from the start. This is Yoongi.”, Namjoon spoke gesturing to the person next to him.

Your eyes widened in surprise as the mysterious person slowly pulled down the hood of their sweatshirt. Barely poking out of the top of a mop of black hair were two black fuzzy cat ears. A long fluffy black tail curled out from behind him. With so much going on you hadn’t noticed that your friend’s new friend was a hybrid. The hybrid, or Yoongi as he was called, quickly made eye contact with you before returning his gaze back to the floor. He reached for his tail slowly combing his fingers through the fur. You figure it was probably a way of self soothing.

“Nam-, Namjoon I’m sorry but how am I supposed to help?”

“Right, so Yoongi is or uh was Vipers personal pet.”

The sound of that word made your stomach twist. He was a grown man and shouldn’t be considered anyones “pet” and it infuriated you that people even had thoughts like that.

“When Viper took off he left Yoongi behind probably thinking one of his men would protect him, but one of our guys took him in thinking he was just one of the hybrids from the house instead. We can’t take Yoongi to a shelter. Viper will have his guys scouting every shelter with 100 miles from here. It’s not safe for him to stay with me either since I could possibly have a target on my back. I need him to stay here with you.”

You felt bad for the chuckle that you let out knowing that this probably wasn’t Yoongi’s first choice either, but you just couldn’t stop it.

“Namjoon, I can’t just take in another person. I can barely afford to feed myself let alone someone else. Plus you know how I feel about owning hybrids. It’s wrong. They’re people and shouldn’t be owned like an animal.”

Yoongi felt an odd fluttering in his stomach. No one had ever referred to him as a person before.

“Look Y/N, I’m desperate. I’ll send some money your way to cover the extra food and stuff. And you don’t have to officially adopt him. We just need to keep him safe until we get Viper in custody and then I’ll figure something else out.”

Namjoon reached over and placed a hand on your knee. You knew when he resorted to physical touch that he was serious.

“Please Y/N, he’s been through hell and back and has nowhere else to go. I need someone that he can trust. That I can trust. I can’t let him get back into the hands of someone like Viper.”

You peaked over Namjoon’s shoulders to see Yoongi with his hands folded in his lap. His bangs plastered to his forehead and still damp from the rain. He looked at you for barely a second before looking away, but even in that quick glance you could see the desperation in his eyes. You could only imagine what he had been through. Someone like Viper couldn’t possibly treat his own hybrid well when to him all they were there were play things and money makers.

“Okay.”, you spoke barely above a whisper, but Namjoon still heard you. He smiled before looking back at Yoongi trying to give him a reassuring squeeze that everything was going to work out for the better.

Thankfully the kettle sounded giving you an out of the awkward situation. While in the kitchen preparing the drinks you could hear Namjoon and Yoongi whispering back and forth.

“She doesn’t want me here. I can just go back to my owner. I don’t want to be any more of a burden than I already am.”

“Trust me, she’ll come around. It’s just a lot to take in. I wouldn’t have brought you here if I didn’t think she’d take good care of you.”

He was right. You would try your hardest to take care of him even if this situation isn’t exactly ideal for you.

After a drink and some pointless small talk you walked Namjoon to the door as he continued to give you instructions, “So don’t take Yoongi out of the house for any reason unless it’s an absolute emergency and call me immediately if you do. I’ll stop by with some clothes and stuff for him in a day or two plus some extra money.”

You nodded in agreement unsure of what else to say at that point. After he left you made sure to use all the locks on your door suddenly feeling a little less safe than normal. Yoongi was still sitting in the same spot on the couch not having touched his tea.

“I can make you something else to drink if you don’t like it. Or maybe something to eat? Are you hungry?”, you asked awkwardly.

“No thank you. I’m okay.”

“Okay… well… I’m gonna go take care of a few things. I’ll be right back.”

He nodded as you scampered up the stairs to your bedroom. After taking a few minutes to calm down and catch your breath you started grabbing whatever you could think he might need.

Digging through your drawers you found a t-shirt and a pair of old sweats that you thought should fit him after making a hole for his tail. Then in your closet you found an extra pillow and some blankets. Your spare bedroom was pretty much being used as storage so Yoongi was going to have to sleep on the couch which you felt terrible about so you decided to start looking online for a bed getting yourself distracted. You weren’t sure exactly how long he was going to be staying, but you figured it would be a couple weeks at least and you didn’t want him sleeping on the couch that whole time. You’d been meaning to finally set up the spare room so this was the kick you needed. You had to use pretty much every cent you had to afford everything, but it was needed.

After getting everything ordered you realized you had been locked away quite a while longer than you’d expected and got very worried about Yoongi. Rushing down the stairs with blankets and pillows in hand you found an empty couch.

“Fuck did he run away already?”, you panicked. Namjoon was going to kill you. Walking into the kitchen to find your phone you spotted a lump of black curled up in the corner. Getting closer you recognized the tail and ears. A wash of relief flooded over you as you bent down and tried to softly wake up the sleeping hybrid.

You tried to be as gentle as possible, but he still startled awake quickly backing into the corner before letting out a small hiss and curling in on himself.

“Hey it’s just me. It’s Y/N. I’m sorry for scaring you. I didn’t mean to.”

He looked back at you with wide eyes, still unsure of you and the situation.

After he finally calmed down and realized it was only you he relaxed a little before standing up.

“Why are you sleeping on the floor to begin with?”, you asked concerned.

He shrugged, “You were gone a long time so I thought you just went to bed for the night. I didn’t know where you wanted me to sleep and I didn’t want to wake you. I usually get put on the floor or in the garage, sometimes outside so I just chose right here.”

Your heart hurt at that while your face flushed with anger.

Stretching out your hand you motioned for him to follow you into the living room. After finishing setting up the couch you turned to Yoongi who was still shyly standing in the doorway.

“I’m sorry you have to sleep on the couch tonight. I don’t have a spare bed at the moment. I did order one though which is why I was gone so long. It should be here in a day or two. But the couch is really comfy and I can get more blankets or pillows if you need them.”

While you felt like a terrible host for having him sleep on the couch, Yoongi looked at you like you’d just given him the world.”

“I-I can sleep on the couch?”, he asked still unsure.

“Yeah of course. Like I said I’m sorry I don’t have a bed for you but it’ll just be for a couple days.”

You saw the first glimpse of a smile before he went to sit down.

“Oh wait!”, you exclaimed and then made a mental note to try and not be as loud when you noticed how he flinched at your quick movements.

“Come with me.”, you motioned for him to follow you to the bathroom. When you got upstairs you showed him the clothes you’d laid out plus a towel, “I figured you’d like to take a hot shower and have a change of clothes. These should fit you for the night. If you bring your clothes downstairs I can put them in the wash so you’ll have them for tomorrow.”

An awkward silence filled the room as he looked around in disbelief so you just nodded before closing the door behind you and heading downstairs.

Thankfully the rest of the night went by smoothly and you’d almost forgotten all about the hybrid sleeping on your couch downstairs until you heard his soft snores filling the air. Peeking over the railing you spotted Yoongi still curled up in a little ball on the couch. You could see his ears swivel with the noise of a few birds chirping outside. How long had it been since he was able to sleep deeply like that?, you wondered.

As quietly as possible you tiptoed past him and made your way to the kitchen to get some coffee ready. About twenty minutes later Yoongi came walking into the kitchen looking incredibly grumpy. He was definitely not a morning person you thought to yourself.

“Good morning.”, you chuckled.

“Good morning.”, he scowled.

“Would you like some coffee or orange juice? I have some milk.”, you asked unsure of what his diet normally looked like.

“Water is okay.”

You nodded and handed him a glass.

“You can sit down you know.”, you said pointing to the chair across from you.

“Sorry. I’m not usually allowed on the furniture.”

“Yoongi you live here now too. At least for a while. You can sit on the furniture, watch tv, help yourself to anything in the kitchen. You don’t have to be afraid. I promise nothing bad will happen to you here and I’m not going to hurt you.”

He nodded in understanding, but you could tell that there was still a lot of apprehension there.

“Speaking of which, what would you like for breakfast? I’m not the greatest cook, but I can get by.”

“I’m okay. I don’t need to eat anything.”, he shrugged, but his stomach said otherwise following with a loud grumble.

“How about some scrambled eggs and toast?”, you asked which he gratefully accepted.

He offered to clean up the kitchen for you after breakfast and then you both headed to watch a little tv and wait for Namjoon who said he’d be over in the afternoon. There was quite a bit of awkwardness in the air as you both sat on opposite sides of the couch neither of you really knowing what to say or do. After three episodes of some random baking competition show you had put on there was a knock at the door. Yoongi’s ears laid back into his hair as he scrambled to try and find a hiding spot before you could answer it.

“It’s just Namjoon.”, you said after peaking out the window.

Your friend walked in carrying several bags of clothes and supplies.

He and Yoongi carried everything up stairs before returning back to the couch. You offered Namjoon some water as you took a seat across from them.

“So how did last night go?”, he sighed.

“Alright, I think. I have a bed coming for Yoongi. Should be here soon.” You peaked over at Yoongi hoping he’d agree. He nodded his head.

Namjoon took a sip before continuing, “So I have an update about this whole situation. I got a call this morning that Viper has been located.”

Yoongi visible tensed up and you had to stop yourself from reaching out to him not feeling like you had that right yet.

“Okay so they caught him?”, you asked.

Apprehensively Namjoon continued, “Not exactly. The last tracking we have of him is at the airport. It appears he fled the country. We don’t know exactly to where, but our best guess is he probably went somewhere with super lax laws surrounding hybrids where he can hide out and be less likely to get caught.”

“Okkaaayy so what does that mean for Yoongi?”, you asked.

“Umm well he’s still not out of the woods yet. Viper will have his guys looking all over for him. We heard they were already at the shelters on 38th and another on Rose Ave asking about him so he’s going to have to stay here a little longer.”

“Oh okay that’s fine.”, you responded almost a little too quickly for your liking.

Suddenly Namjoon turned his attention to Yoongi,” Why don’t you go upstairs and start unpacking all the stuff I brought?”

Yoongi wasn’t dumb and he knew that was code for I need to talk to Y/N in private so with an eye roll he agreed and headed upstairs.

Once you heard the door close you turned your attention back to Namjoon, “Joon I guess I’m just not understanding why this guy would go through all the trouble to find Yoongi. Couldn’t he just find another hybrid to abuse? Like why is he so set on finding Yoongi that he has guys searching all over for him?”

He took a long deep breath before continuing. His voice barely above a whisper trying to stop Yoongi’s enhanced hearing from listening in.

“Well he’s more than just a pet.”

“Ugh please don’t use that word.”, you spat in disgust.

Namjoon chuckled., “Alright well I’m sure you’ve noticed that Yoongi is particularly attractive. Like more attractive than your average hybrid or person.”

You nodded your head because of course you had. Yoongi was very handsome with his chiseled jaw and cute button nose that sat perfectly under his beautiful cat eyes. His sweet gentle nature combined with his politeness made him all that more attractive on top of it. Unfortunately you were starting to have an idea of where Namjoon was going to be taking this conversation.

He snapped his finger at you, “Reel it back in Y/N. Daydream about Yoongi another time.”

You rolled your eyes before motioning for him to continue which he did, “Well because of that there are people in this world that will pay a pretty penny to spend a night with him, for whatever reason. Some want to fulfill their sexual fantasies as I’m sure you expected, others just want to have a companion, and some want to fulfill other desires that may not be so legal being done to other humans or animals. Either way Viper just lost his biggest moneymaker who brings in a lot of repeat and new customers so he’s not going to stop until he finds him.”

You felt sick thinking about how Yoongi and all these other hybrids have been treated.

“I just need him to stay here for a while. Maybe you can help him come out of his shell a little. You know show him that not all people are bad.”

You licked your lips, “Yeah sure. Of course he can stay here.”

Namjoon smiled, “Thank you Y/N. I owe you big time.”

“Yeah you definitely do.”, you chuckled.

Namjoon went up to say bye to Yoongi before coming back down and giving you a hug, “Alright I’ll keep you updated. Let me know if you need anything.”

The following morning Yoongi’s bed was delivered and thankfully he was quite handy building the bed by himself in just a little over an hour. You tried to help, but mostly just stood off to the side handing him whatever he needed and offering words of encouragement.

After the bed was made you stood back taking a look at the room that was slowly coming together.

“Maybe we can get you a tv or something. Or a computer? Do you have any hobbies?”, you said sneaking a look at him.

He shook his head, “Y/N, you’ve already done more for me than anyone else ever has. I don’t need anything else.”

His words hit you. The thought that having a small bed and a couple hot meals was more than this poor soul had ever received combined with what Namjoon had told you earlier, it broke you.

“Enjoy your room for a while. I’ll be downstairs if you need anything.”, you said before slipping out the door so he couldn’t see your watery eyes.

You may have gone a little overboard on ordering and definitely won’t be able to afford takeout for a while, but seeing the look on Yoongi’s face as he was devouring the pizza made it worth it. Over the last few months he had started opening up to you little by little. First it was little things like his favorite color or how he has always wanted to try pizza but was never allowed. He was still pretty skittish and didn’t seem to like being touched or even really be any closer than just sharing a couch. You didn’t blame him at all. But he had become a very important part of your life in a short time.

Then last night during a particularly severe thunderstorm you heard a soft knock at your bedroom door. Cracking it open you saw him standing there squeezing one of your favorite hoodies close to his chest. You wanted to question him about how and why he had it because you’d been looking for it for weeks, but the terror in his eyes diverted your attention. A loud clap of thunder rang through the air causing him to get low to the ground in fear using his hands and your hoodie to cover his ears. Without even thinking you grabbed his wrist pulling him into your room and tucking him in your bed. You thought he would protest, but he just burrowed deeper into the covers. Once back on your side the realization hit you that you were now sharing a bed with Yoongi, which other than a few accidental brushes against each other, was the closest the two of you had ever been.

You couldn’t deny that there had been some feelings brewing over the last couple weeks. You tried really hard to pushed them as far down as possible, but they kept coming to the surface. Yoongi had been through so much and there was no way you’d ever spring that on him, not right now. Especially when you had no idea at all if he even felt somewhat similar about you.

Another clap of thunder hit and you felt him jolt next to you with fear.

“Hey it’s okay. It’s just a storm. It should be over soon.”, you’d said trying to soothe him.

“I know, I’m sorry. It just loud noises sometimes scare me. It’s dumb.”

“Its not dumb. Is there anything I can do to help?”

He stayed silent for a few moments.

“Can you just hold me?”

His request stunned you into silence.

“N-never mind. It was a dumb idea.”

Before he could scoot away any further you grabbed his hand to stop him and pulled him closer so your arms could fit over him. He buried his face in your neck and instantly you could feel some of the tension leave his body. You prayed he wouldn’t feel your heart about to beat out of your chest. You thought it would be awkward, but it actually felt quite nice and comforting. After giving him a few minutes to settle down you decided to bring up something you had been wondering about.

“Hey Yoongi?”

“Mmhm?”

“Why do you have my hoodie?”

The tension retuned.

“Umm well I found it one day when I was cold so I wore it but then I realized that it made me feel better. I just started hugging it when I feel overwhelmed or anxious and you’re not here or if I didn’t want to bother you. It smells like you and it helps me relax. You can have it back though. I’m sorry I took it without asking. Please don’t be mad.”

He panicked and tried to unwrap the fabric from his body, but you stopped him, “No no it’s okay. I was just wondering. You can keep it. I have a closet full of them. And you never bother me. Ever.”

After some reassurance he happily settled back down and not long after you heard the faintest rumble come from his chest. “Yoongi are you purring?”, you asked trying to hide how happy it made you that he felt so comfortable with you.

“Shut up. Sometimes I can’t help it.”, he said embarrassed that his body had betrayed him like that. He was trying to act mad, but even in the dark you could see the faint hint of a blush on his cheeks. You just chuckled before allowing him to snuggle in a little closer.

After a while you’d thought he had fallen asleep as the purrs died down, but then he spoke, “Thank you for letting me in here. I’m sorry I woke you up for this.”

“Don’t be sorry. I am always here for you. I promise.”

He chuckled, “I really hate thunderstorms. I feel like such a little kid sometimes.”

“Is it the loud noise?”

“Kind of, but it’s more than that.”

He then went on to tell you about one of Viper’s regulars, Mrs. Cho and how she’d always book time with him during thunderstorms because her husband was a meteorologist and was usually busy during those times. Apparently she was in to pain and he tried his best to describe the things she had forced him to do before his voice started cracking and you told him he didn’t have to go any further. Talking about those moments seemed to bring back a lot of painful memories for Yoongi as he spent the rest of the night clinging to you while whimpering himself awake every so often until you could soothe him back to sleep.

That night seemed to change something between the two of you. Over the following weeks Yoongi became a lot cuddlier, often choosing to sit next to you while watching tv and getting into bed with you at night even if there wasn’t a storm outside. You both cooked meals together, his arms around you more than he actually helped cook. He’d help you in your garden since it was only in your backyard blocked off by a fence and he liked getting some fresh air. Your feelings grew deeper and deeper too, but you couldn’t ever bring yourself to say anything. It wasn’t worth the risk of ruining everything you had with him.

So that’s why you decided to splurge and surprise him today with a pizza party thanks to the bonus you got at work. You knew it wouldn’t just magically make everything better, but it also couldn’t make it worse.

He told you over and over how the pizza was the best thing he’d ever tasted and you had to keep reminding him not to overdue it so he didn’t get a tummy ache.

You were just finishing up the dishes when a knock at the door pulled your attention that way. Like usual whenever someone came over Yoongi bolted for his room to hide until he knew it was safe to come out. You were a little nervous to open the door yourself. They still hadn’t caught Viper and you hadn’t heard from Namjoon in several days which was weird and there was an incident at the grocery store last week where you swore a man was following you, but nothing ever came of it so you chalked that up to just some creep following you around.

After peaking out the window you excitedly swung the door open before jumping into the man’s arms.

Yoongi sensing that you weren’t in danger peeked around the corner and saw you hugging it out with some guy. It made his chest constrict, a feeling he didn’t like. He knew he was starting to have feelings for you, he thought he had pushed those all the way down, but apparently not. He made his way down the stairs to the two of you standing right beside you so you’d notice him which of course you did right away.

“Yoongi! I’m glad you’re here. I want to introduce you to my good friend. This is Jungkook.”

The two men nodded a greeting at each other. You missed the way Jungkook eyed Yoongi up and down. Suddenly Yoongi got a really uneasy feeling about this person. He tried pulling you into the other room, but you brushed him off. You invited them both to take a seat with you but you were a little surprised that Yoongi decided to sit right next to you almost on your lap, but still between you and Jungkook. His tail was puffed up and swinging shortly showing his agitation as he glared at you friend.

“So Kookie how have you been?”, you asked offering him a drink.

“Kookie? Why don’t I have a nickname?”, Yoongi scoffed to himself.

“Pretty good. Traveling a lot. How have you been?”, Jungkook asked.

“Good, working a lot.”

The two of you went back and forth making light conversation. Yoongi was getting more and more angry as time went on. He just did not like this Jungkook, but he couldn’t quite place why. He knew a part of it was jealousy because it was clear you and Jungkook

had some history from the stories you told and he knew you’d never be interested in him in that way as much as he was starting to want that.

After what felt like hours you finally walked Jungkook to the door with Yoongi following close behind.

“It was so nice to see you Y/N.”, he smiled.

“Yeah of course. You, me, and Namjoon will have to get together some time. Just like our old college days.”

You both chucked followed by Jungkook extending his hand out towards Yoongi. That’s when Yoongi saw it. On Jungkook’s wrist was a tattoo of a snake. Or more specifically a viper. It was a marking that all of the close associates of Viper had and THAT is why Yoongi didn’t like this guy. He was bad news.

Without thinking he lunged forward attacking Jungkook. His need to protect you overtaking his fear for a moment. You looked on in shock before realizing what happened. By that time Jungkook had already thrown a punch causing Yoongi to fall to the ground.

“Bye Y/N. See you around.”, he said before smirking at Yoongi who was still laying on the floor.

“What the hell Yoongi? Why did you do that?”, you said dropping to your knees next to him.

Softly you moved his hand seeing the welt already forming on this cheek.

“Come on. Let’s get some ice.”

Back in the kitchen and with a bag of frozen peas on his face you went back to scolding him, “You can’t just go around attacking people Yoongi. You could get in a lot of trouble. Especially as a hybrid they’ll look for any reason to deem you as a delinquent.”

Yoongi continued to stare at the floor.

“Do you have anything to say for yourself?”, you asked letting more of your annoyance show through than you had planned.

“Jungkook works for Viper.”

“No he doesn’t. He works with Namjoon for the HPA.”, you chuckled.

“Y/N, I’m serious. He has the viper tattoo. I saw it.”

You were starting to feel the frustration bubbling.

“Yoongi lots of people have Viper tattoos. It’s like a pretty common thing.”

He shook his head, “No it’s a specific tattoo that all his closest guys get. It’s like some initiation bullshit or something.” He took a breath before continuing, “They only get it after they’ve proven their loyalty by murdering a hybrid.”

“There’s no way. Jungkook would never do that. He’s always been for trying to improve hybrid rights.”, you shook your head.

Yoongi removed the bag of peas revealing the red welt, “Y/N I’ve seen that tattoo hundreds and hundreds of times. I know what I saw.”

You still didn’t want to believe him. Jungkook was one of your closest friends. You never would’ve let someone like that into your life. Unable to stop the words from spilling out of your mouth you’d told up backing away from him.

“You’re just jealous Yoongi.”

He scoffed, “Of what?”

“Because for the last couple months I’ve been devoting all my attention and energy to you until now when I showed the slightest bit of attention towards another guy so now you’re making up lies to make me hate him. You only want me for yourself.”

Now it was his turn to laugh, “For what? You’re just my temporary owner. Fuck every guy in the city. I don’t care. I’m just trying to protect myself and that means not having that guy around.”

His words stung you a little. You were starting to catch feelings, but to him you were just another human that had ownership of him as a pet, nothing more.

“You’re lying.”, you whispered.

“Y/N I’m not lying. You need to call Namjoon. Now! We’re both in danger.”

You shook your head, “I can’t believe you Yoongi. I never thought you’d become such a problem hybrid.”

You heard him audibly gasp and you instantly regretted saying it. While referring to a hybrid as a problem hybrid might not seem like much of an issue to a human, to a hybrid it was considered derogatory since they have had to fight for a long long time to prove that they too could be a productive part of society with no issues just as any human could. So calling one a problem hybrid deemed them a lost cause and basically meant they should just be locked away and remain nothing more than a pet on a leash.

“I’m sorry Yoo-.”, you tried to say reaching forward for him, but before you could finish he threw the bag down on the table and ran up to his room slamming the door behind him.

It had been a week since you last saw Yoongi. He refused to eat meals with you. He no longer sat behind you while you worked or cuddled next to you while watching tv. Your bed felt colder and lonelier too after you’d gotten used to him quietly crawling in with you in the middle of the night.

At the end of the week you decided to reach out to Namjoon to ask for advice, luckily for you he contacted you on his own through text. You figured he was probably somewhere that he couldn’t really talk out loud.

Joon: Hey how are things going? Sorry I’ve been MIA. Just a lot going on.

You: Honestly, been better.

Joon: Yeah I wanted to talk to you about that. Yoongi contacted me the other day. He said something about wanting to go to a shelter.

You felt like you were going to be sick. You had tried to apologize several times for the problem hybrid situation, but he never wanted to hear it. You had no idea that he hated you so much he’d rather risk it living in a shelter, but you also couldn’t really blame him.

You: Yeah I let my emotions get the best of me and said something that I shouldn’t have. I really don’t want him to leave, but I won’t force him to stay.

Joon: Technically since you’re not his owner you can’t force him to stay anyways. It’s just still not safe out there and if he goes to a shelter it’s only a matter of time until they find him. What set this all off? Maybe I can talk to him.

You: I don’t even know any more. Jungkook showed up and Yoongi just attacked him. Said he was working with Viper. And then we got in an argument.

You: Have you seen Jungkook recently?

Joon: No I haven’t. He suddenly quit the agency about 9 months ago and I haven’t heard from him since.

Joon: Listen Y/N, I know you and Jungkook have or had a thing, but maybe it’s best to listen to Yoongi. He’s been in Vipers world most of his life. He knows a lot and if he’s saying Jungkooks bad news then he means it.

You: I just don’t see how that is possible. He’s a good guy.

Joon: Sometimes the worst people are the best at hiding their true colors. Just stay away from him until I do some more digging. Please. For yours and Yoongi’s safety. I’m going to talk to Yoongi and try to convince him to stay with you for now. I think it’s best.

You: Alright. Keep me updated. Stay safe yourself.

Taking a deep breath to calm your nerves you knocked on Yoongi’s door with a shaky hand. Surprisingly he opened the door which you were not expecting so admittedly you were not prepared.

“Umm I just got off the phone with Namjoon. He said you wanted to go to a shelter instead. I’m not going to force you to stay.”

You handed him a couple old duffel bags you had, “So here are some bags. You’re welcome to take anything in the room. It’s all yours. Namjoon is going to look around and decide where he thinks it’ll be the safest for you to go.”

Gently he grabbed the bags from you. Just before he closed the door again you stopped him, “Oh and Yoongi, I’m really sorry. I never meant to hurt you. I didn’t mean to break my promise.”

Namjoon tried for several days to convince Yoongi to stay, but ultimately he was stubborn and had already made his decision. Namjoon had his sister pick him up early in morning a few days ago to take him to a shelter about three hours away. Namjoon wouldn’t tell you the exact location for your safety so that’s as much as you got. Now as you laid in bed trying to fall asleep while there was a raging thunderstorm going on outside you couldn’t help but worry about him. Was the storm hitting his area? How was he coping? He’d surely have a nightmare and you felt awful not being there to comfort him, but this is what he wanted even though it was all because of you.

You were just finally starting to fall asleep when a loud knock at your door woke you up. Tempted to ignore it, especially at this hour, you turned over trying to fall back asleep when you heard another knock. Then the possibilities flooded you. What if something happened to Yoongi? What if it was Yoongi?!

Jumping out of bed you sprinted down the stairs forgoing even checking who it was and swinging open the door praying to find Yoongi only to be met with the person who brought this all on.

“Hi Y/N, sorry to drop in like this again.”, Jungkook smiled.

You invited him in even though Yoongi and Namjoon’s words replayed in your head. You watched as he looked around your home before taking a seat.

“What do I owe the pleasure?”, you asked suddenly feeling uncomfortable with him here alone with you.

“Just thought I’d stop by. I was in the area again. Maybe we could go to that diner on Main. Like old times.”, he laughed.

You don’t know if it was the warnings or what, but this definitely didn’t feel like all the old times when Jungkook would show up at your door in the middle of the night wanting to go get chocolate chip pancakes while you both told corny jokes and laughed until the waitress finally had to kick you guys out. This felt darker, sinister even. Only made worse when you noticed the piece of black metal clinging to his hip that he tried to hide with his leather jacket. Jungkook had always been against violence especially anything that included weapons. You remembered when he first started training for the agency and had to learn how to assemble and use a gun. He despised it, almost quitting because of it, but he knew it was for the better of the hybrid community. If he really had quit the agency like Namjoon said then he would’ve had to turn in all of his weapons so the fact that he had one on him made your uneasiness all that more prominent.

“Yeah let me go grab my purse!”, you exclaimed trying to get away from him now realizing something was up. He grabbed your hand stopping you from going any further, “No need Y/N. I’ll pay.”

“Oh well at least let me go get dressed. I don’t want to go out looking like such a slob.”, you chuckled quickly bolting up the stairs before he could stop you again.

In your room with the door closed you frantically searched for your phone wanting to call Namjoon or the police or anyone for help.

Finding it lying on the floor you grabbed it quickly searching your contacts. In your frazzled state you failed to hear anyone creep up behind you until it was too late and you felt the cold metal against the warmth of your forehead.

A strong arm pulling you close against a body much bigger than yours.

“Y/N, put the phone down. You don’t want to do that.”, Jungkook growled in your ear.

“Why are you doing this?”, you asked slowly tossing your phone on the bed. “You were against abuse towards hybrids just like me and Namjoon. Now you work with the worst in the business?”, you questioned him.

“Look, I really don’t want to have to hurt you. I still care about you Y/N. That’s the only reason I didn’t just kill you the other night and take Yoongi then. Tell me where he is and I’ll let you go.”

You shook your head, “I don’t know. They took him this morning.”

You could hear him scoff as he pushed the tip of the gun against your forehead a little harder making you flinch in fear.

“Y/N, I won’t ask again. Where did they take Yoongi?”, he shouted.

“A shelter in North Provence. That’s all they told me.”, you spit out.

You cried tears of relief when you felt him pull the gun away before throwing you down on the ground.

“Thanks Love.”, was all he said before sprinting out of your home.

Quickly grabbing your phone you dialed Namjoon’s number.

North Provence was at least six hours away from you so double the time Namjoon had told you, hopefully buying you some time.

You called him twelve times before giving up.

You knew you had to get to Yoongi and make sure he was safe and apologize for everything. He had been right about Jungkook, but you had no idea where he was. Three hours away could be in any direction.

While getting dressed as quickly as possible you suddenly remembered that Namjoon had a cousin who ran a non-profit hybrid organization that would take in hybrids, rehab them, and then adopt them out. If you remembered correctly it was located about two hours and fifty minutes from you. You didn’t know if you were correct, but it was the only lead you had.

Making the drive there in record time you reached the shelter just as they were opening. You still hadn’t been able to contact Namjoon so you were doing this solo.

Namjoon’s cousin, Jin, greeted you at the front desk.

“Oh hey Y/N! It’s been ages. I really need to get on Joonie to start coming around more.”

You tried to smile, “I know , I know, I completely agree.”

“So what can I do for you?”

Trying to hide the shake in your voice unsure of how much Jin knows you took a deep breath, “Well I’d really like to adopt a hybrid and I knew this was the perfect place to come.”

He chuckled, “Well you certainly did come to the right place. Do you know what you’re looking for? We just got in this Labrador hybrid. His name is Hoseok or Hobi for short. He is the sweetest ray of sunshine and I think you’d love him.”

“He does sound very nice, but I was looking for more of a cat hybrid. Maybe a black cat?l

Jin looked up at the ceiling, “Hmm you know we do have a few cats. Come on back with me and see if there’s any that CATch your eye.”

He laughed hysterically at his own joke so you giggled along trying to hide the fact that you were two seconds away from vomitting.

“So right now we have four cat hybrids up for adoption. I think you’d really get along with Jimin the most. He’s not a black cat, but he’s very cuddly and playful. He’ll seriously be your best friend.”

You nodded taking a look though the glass rooms. You knew the owners of the shelters were just doing their best to find homes for the hybrids, but it felt so wrong walking through a long hallway staring into these rooms holding people for you to buy.

As mentioned Jin introduced to Jimin who immediately came walking up to the glass. Jin told you that Jimin was a Russian blue cat hybrid. He had beautiful fluffy gray hair and the prettiest greenish blue eyes. He shyly waved to you. Jin explained that Jimin had been rescued from a hybrid hording situation. He was very sweet and you had almost considered adopting him, but you had a different mission at the moment.

As much as it pained you to walk away you asked Jin to see the rest of the cat hybrids, but much to your dismay none of them were Yoongi.

“So see any that you like?”, Jin asked excitedly.

“They’re all very nice and I want them to all have good homes, but I was really looking for a black cat.”

Jin look apprehensive, “Weeeelllll we do have one black cat hybrid, but I don’t think he’s ready for adoption yet. Maybe if you’re willing to wait a couple months then you could adopt him. He’s only been here like a few days and he’s just really depressed and anxious. The thunderstorm last night really set him off.”

The more he described the hybrid the more it sounded like Yoongi.

You grabbed onto Jins arm, “Oh please let me see him! Please Jin!”

He looked at you confused by your excitement.

“I don’t know Y/N. I think a visitor would only stress him out more and I don’t want to do that.”

“Jin please. I promise I won’t even say anything to him. I just want to see him. Maybe it’ll help me decide if I’m really set on a black cat.”

“You’re lucky I love you like a sister.”, he sighed before leading you through a set of double doors.

Your heart felt like it was going to beat out of your chest.

“Just please try not to startle him. It seems like he’s been through a lot.”, he said leading you to a small room at the end of the hall.

Softly you tiptoed in front of the window. He was laying on a cot facing the wall. All you could see was black hair with two black ears poking out. That could be any cat hybrid and not necessarily Yoongi. You wanted to shout his name or beg for him to turn around. Anything to see his face.

You went to ask a question when suddenly an alarm sounded through the building.

“Sorry Y/N, I have to go check on that. I’ll be right back.”, Jin said before sprinting towards the back of the building.

You turned around prepared to gently knock on the glass now that Jin wasn’t around when you saw a familiar pair of eyes already looking back at you.

You’d found him. Quickly you began banging on the glass, “Yoongi are you okay? Yoongi please talk to me.”

Unfortunately he was uninterested in talking and turned back around to face the wall. His tail swaying lazily back and forth.

“Yoongi please! You were right about every thing. About Jungkook. He works for Viper.”

Still no reaction from him other than his tail coming to a halt .

“He showed up at my house. He held a gun to my head demanding to know where you were.”

That seemed to get his attention even more. You saw his ears swivel in your direction.

“I lied and sent him somewhere far away, but it’s only a matter of time until he figures it out. I need to get you out of here. Please Yoongi.”

You don’t know when you started crying, but you could feel the tears soaking the top of your shirt. Between the exhaustion and the stress and the fear you were reaching a breaking point.

Falling to your knees your face fell into your hands while you just sobbed. It wasn’t until you heard a tapping on the glass did you look up to see Yoongi kneeling in front of you on the other side. His palm pressed to the glass as he nodded.

Finally the alarm turned off which meant Jin could be back at any moment. You tried your best to wipe away the tears as you heard quick footsteps coming in your direction.

Thinking back to your high school drama days you you knew you were going to have to put on an act.

“I am so sorry about that Y/N. One of the staff members forgot to turn off the security alarm before going out the back door to receive a shipment. Have you given it anymore tho-, why are you crying?”, Jin said coming to an abrupt stop next to you.

You chuckled, “Sorry. You know me and how I get so emotional sometimes. Yoongi was just telling me about his past and I just feel so terrible about what he went through.”

Jin looked at you skeptically. Yoongi hadn’t spoken a word to anyone but he just told you his entire life story?

“Jin, I want to adopt him. Please.”

He looked between you and Yoongi. “No I don’t think that’s a good idea”., he shook his head.

“Jin, what’s the motto of this organization?”

“Everyone deserves a chance.”, he sighed.

“Sooo give me and Yoongi a chance.”

He looked over at Yoongi who gave him a nod.

Jin ran his fingers through his hair, “Alright, but don’t make me regret this. Either of you!”

Jin pulled you into a back room to fill out some paperwork. Thankfully he gave you the family and friends discount so you were able to afford the adoption fee.

As you were standing near the exit waiting for Jin to return with Yoongi you couldn’t help but feel the fear building now that you had found him. You tried calling Namjoon a couple more times, but without luck.

When Jin finally appeared with Yoongi following behind he handed you some more paperwork along with the bags that Yoongi had taken from your place.

You both ran off to your car and you didn’t waste any time to begin driving wanting to get away from the shelter just in case.

Yoongi had been silent this whole time until you heard his stomach grumble. You made sure to drive out a little further before stopping at a restaurant to grab something to eat.

After taking a sip of his milk he looked you up and down, “So what do we do now Y/N?”

“Well” you said finishing up the bite of your omelette. “To be honest I don’t know. I didn’t think I’d actually find you and if I did I didn’t think you’d leave with me. I’ve been calling Namjoon repeatedly, but he’s not answering. I don’t know who else we can trust.”

The table fell silent again as you both ate.

While Yoongi was staring out the window you took the opportunity to really look at him. He was noticeably thinner than you remembered. Dark circles surrounded his eyes. His lips extra chapped from licking them, a nervous habit of his you learned. His head hung lower than ever. You wanted to engulf him in a hug and tell him everything was going to be okay, but you knew you’d lost that right so you decided on an apology instead.

“Hey Yoongi.”, you’d said pulling his attention back to you.

“I, I just wanted to say I’m sorry for that night that Jungkook came over. I should’ve listened to you. I just didn’t want to believe that someone I had been so close to would have become such a terrible person. And I’m especially sorry for what I said. You’re not a problem hybrid. You’re the opposite actually.”

Unable to take his glare anymore you turned your attention back to your coffee.

He cleared his throat, “Im sorry for what I said too. I guess I just got a little jealous seeing how close you were with him. And then when I realized who he was I wanted to protect you and I was getting stressed out that you weren’t letting me.”

A silence fell over the table again except for you thanking your waiter for refilling your coffee.

“And uh thank you for coming for me. To be honest, I regretted leaving as soon as I got in the car.”, Yoongi whispered while staring into his pancakes. You gave him a smile before finishing up your meal.

“Well I have no idea what to do now. We can’t go to my place. Namjoon isn’t answering. I can’t really afford a hotel for more than a couple night.”

Yoongi took a final sip of his drink, “I might know someone we can trust. Can I borrow your phone?”

You were unsure, but you learned your lesson for not trusting him the first time so you handed it over and watched as he walked over to the entrance. After paying the bill you gathered your things and met him by the car.

“I have somehwere we can go. Just get on the highway and I’ll give you the directions.”

You did as he said ending up driving about two hours south before pulling up to a large farmhouse in the middle of nowhere. A perfect spot for a murder to go unsolved you thought. A man sitting on the porch swing sipping away on an iced tea got up ready to greet you.

Yoongi sensing your anxiousness reached over placing his hand on your knee, “We can trust him. I promise.”

You nodded still unsure but got out of the car following after him.

The man walked over and embraced Yoongi in a hug.

“Hello Taehyung. Thank you for taking us in.”, he said pulling away.

“Of course. You know you’re always welcome here.”, the man spoke in a very deep tone.

The two of them spoke in whispers giving you the chance to really look this Taehyung over. He had beautifully fluffy golden blond hair with deep amber eyes. Then you noticed two tiny little ears poking out of the locks and a long thin tail slowly swaying behind him. It appeared that he was a lion hybrid, which was extremely rare. Exotic hybrids were hard to come by, especially living out on their own in the countryside.

You were woken out of your thought when you felt a pair of arms wrap around you., “Ahh and this must be your friend you were telling me about. You’re right hyung, she is very beautiful.” You stifled a chuckle, but heard a very embarrassed Yoongi mumble something about needing to learn to keep his mouth shut before turning a bright shade of red.

Taehyung opened the door motioned for you two to follow him, “Come on in. I’ll show you to your rooms.”

You both followed him up the stairs and down a very long hallway. Taehyung was very friendly, but definitely a talker you learned. You felt like you were on museum tour the way he described each piece of artwork or architecture.

“I didn’t know if you two were going to be sleeping separately or together but just in case I have both options ready for you.”, he said opening two different bedroom doors.

You and Yoongi looked at each other awkwardly causing the lion hybrid to chuckled, “Well you two can figure it out together. I’ll let you get some rest and come get you when dinner is ready.”

You both agreed that it would be best to sleep in the same room, for safety reasons of course and not because there was definitely something still brewing between the two of you.

“So how do you know Taehyung?”, you asked trying to break the silence.

Yoongi sat down on the bed, “Well uh he actually used to also be owned by Viper and we were pretty close back then. Since he’s younger I always tried to protect him as much as I could. He managed to escape a few years ago though. We kept in touch the best we could. He always tried to get me to escape too, but I was just too afraid.”

“So what do we do now?”, you asked.

“I don’t really know. The easy answer is hideout and hope they’re able to arrest Viper before they find us. But I have a feeling it won’t be that simple.”

You chuckled, “Yeah me too.”

Taehyung called you both down for dinner. He greeted you in the kitchen with two glasses of wine.

At the stove stirring a pot was a beautiful woman. She didn’t appear to be any part hybrid, but fully a human like yourself. She greeted you with a smile, “Oh hi! You must be Y/N, Yoongi’s girlfriend.” The sip of wine went down wrong causing you to choke at her words. Yoongi threw Taehyung a glare causing him to put his hands up in defense.

The woman chuckled, “Sorry about that. My name is Lilly. I’m Taehyung’s wife.”

“Oh nice to meet you.”, you smiled.

She turned back to the stove playfully swatting Taehyung’s hand away from the bacon wrapped asparagus that were set out on a platter before he apologized with a kiss.

They looked really in love and after everything had happened it made your heart bubble with happiness to see it. It was not illegal for a human and a hybrid to get married, but it was extremely frowned upon by both the government and citizens alike forcing most hybrids and humans to never cross that line. You had never seen an issue with it and seeing a couple so happy made you really glad they had that option.

“Alright, let’s sit for dinner.”, Taehyung exclaimed clapping his hands together. Throughout the dinner Yoongi and Taehyung caught up and told stories. You and Lilly got to know each other. You had just finished up the last of the dishes when Taehyung invited everyone out to the back patio for a couple drinks.

“Soooo what are your next steps?”, he asked.

You had such a nice evening that you had honestly forgotten all about the whole reason you were there to begin with.

He continued, “You know Viper is going to have guys looking all over for you. Hell he’s probably still got them looking for me too.”

You hadn’t realized just how much Taehyung was also risking by having you guys there. He could be caught and imprisoned again.

Yoongi cleared his throat, “We’re not sure. Hopefully we can hide out here for a few days and then figure something out. Maybe finally get in contact with Namjoon.”

You nodded along in agreement.

“Well you’re both welcome to stay here as long as you need. We’ll help in any way we can.”, Lilly spoke up.

The next few days you and Yoongi spent a lot of time together trying to help out around the farm as much as possible.

Lilly and Taehyung had made a trip into town to get some supplies leaving just the two of you alone.

You were sitting on the couch cuddled liked you used to. Your back leaning against his chest. His arm lazily around your shoulder while his tail tickled your sides.

You were so engrossed in the movie that you hadn’t noticed Yoongi’s fingers lightly running up and down the exposed skin of your thigh until you noticed the goosebumps he was leaving behind. Slowly he seemed to be testing his limits by going higher and higher.

After a couple minutes of this you looked back at him catching his attention.

“What?”, he chuckled.

“Nothing.” Just as you’d figured he didn’t even realize he was doing it and there was no meaning behind his actions.

Then at some point his light touches turned into desperation. You don’t know how one thing lead to another, but somehow you ended up back in your room. Clothes discarded all over until you were left in nothing but your underwear. Yoongi fell back onto the bed pulling you on top of him. You happily obliged moving to straddle him making it more comfortable for you both. Hungrily you searched for his mouth wanting more. You ground down on him eliciting a moan that only encouraged you more. He helped push you down onto him again this time guiding you to hit just the right spots. You felt his soft tail wrap around your waist giving just a little extra bit of force. Between kisses and filthy words the cloth between the two of you became too much of a barrier to take any more. Without thinking you hooked your finger under the waistband of his boxers ready to release him when suddenly something snapped in Yoongi.

He wasn’t in bed about to make love to you, a woman that he cared deeply for, some might even say love. Instead he was back in one of Vipers “play” rooms. Loud music blaring, some person he didn’t know who had paid a handsome amount of money to have their way with him was grabbing him without his consent.

“Stop! Don’t touch me.”, he shouted making you recoil back like he had burned you. Maybe you had misread the situation after all.

“Yoongi what happened?”, you asked concerned. Instead of responding he fled back. Burying himself under the covers. You could hear the sobs come from beneath.

Quickly you threw on a shirt, yours or his it didn’t matter and gently made your way next to him careful not to touch him.

“Yoongi, it’s Y/N. No one is going to hurt you. I promise. You are just here with me. We’re at Taehyung’s. Remember?”

After a few minutes and a couple more affirmations his breathing started to slow and he peaked out from underneath the covers.

You smiled, “Hey are you okay? Can I get you anything? Maybe some water?”

He shook his head but you felt his fingers come rest against your hand before he intertwined them with your own trying to ground himself and bring him back to reality.

You gave him time to calm down. You didn’t dare move or speak for fear of setting him off.

“I’m sorry.”, he whispered after several minutes.

Lightly you giggled, “What are you sorry about silly? You have nothing to apologize for.”

“I ruined the moment. You probably think I’m some kind weirdo.”

You shook your head, “That couldn’t be farther from the truth. I’m sorry that I didn’t check with you more. I should’ve been more careful.”

He pulled your hand closer to him so he could snuggle in your lap and you ran your fingers through his hair.

“I, I would like to try again one day. If that’s okay with you.”, he mumbled into your skin. The vibrations making you chuckle.

“Of course. Whenever you’re ready we can try again.”

You woke up the next morning to loud pounding on the door. Forgetting where you were more a minute you ignored it until you heard Taehyung’s voice. Jumping out of bed you were thankful you had both managed to get some clothes on after last night when you swung open the door. A very disheveled looking Taehyung greeted you.

“We need to get out of here.”, he exclaimed.

You looked back at him in confusion thankful that Yoongi had finally joined you.

He continued, “I just got a call from one of my friends in town. They saw Viper and a couple of his crew walking around. He’s onto us and it’s only a matter of time until they’re here. Grab what you can and meet me in the garage. We’ll take my truck.” Lilly came running up m to him ready to go but he shook his head, “It’s way too dangerous. Go up in the attic and lock the door. Use all of the locks. Stay quiet and don’t answer the door for anyone other than me. Just like we practiced. Okay?” She nodded and gave him a kiss before running up to the attic as instructed.

Meanwhile you and Yoongi grabbed your belongings which thankfully wasn’t much and made your way out to the garage where Taehyung was already waiting. You were barely in the truck before he sped off leaving the farmhouse behind.

“Fuck, where are we gonna go?”, Yoongi asked running a hand through his hair.

“How did they even find us so fast?”, you asked.

Taehyung shrugged his shoulders, “I have no idea. Viper runs a very large operation. He probably has guys stationed in every city.”

Taehyung drove for hours only stopping for a bathroom break and to get some gas.

“What are we going to do? We can’t just drive around forever?”, you asked once back in the truck.

“A buddy of mine lives a little west of here. He’s an ex HPA officer. Maybe he can help us out.”, Taehyung said turning to Yoongi for assurance.

You were half way to your destination when your phone rang. The screen illuminated with Namjoon’s picture. You’ve never accepted a call so fast.

“Hello”

“Hi Y/N, I’m so sorry I haven’t be reachable. Some crazy shit has gone down.”

“Yeah you’re telling me.”

“Where are you?”, he asked.

“I have no idea. We’re with one of Yoongi’s friends. He was right about Jungkook. He works for Viper now.”

“I know. It’s unfortunate. Y/N, I’m going to send you my location. You guys can meet me here. I can get you somewhere safe.”

“Okay Joon. We’ll see you soon.”

As promised you received his location not long after. Taehyung punched it into his gps and made a uturn.

“Are you sure we can trust this guy?”, he asked feeling a little uneasy. You didn’t blame him after everything he’s been through.

“Yeah. I’ve known him since we were kids. He works for the HPA. He’s the one that initially brought Yoongi to me.” Yoongi nodded in agreement.

After an hour drive the truck pulled up to an abandoned looking warehouse close to the main river.

“Are you sure this is the location?”, Yoongi asked looking around and you quickly showed him your phone to verify.

You dialed Namjoon’s number surprised that he quickly answered.

“Hey are you sure that locatjon was correct? It’s like a creepy looking factory or something?”, you asked.

He chuckled, “Yeah yeah I know it looks rough but I’m inside. We’ve got a little operation running.”

Hanging up the three of you exited the truck and started walking towards the open door. Taehyung lead the way with Yoongi following close behind. He pulled you against him needing to know that you were safe there with him.

Inside the warehouse you didn’t see a whole HPA operation set up like you had imagined. Instead you found Namjoon tied to a chair with several men surrounding him all pointing their guns at the three of you.

You noticed that each man had the same viper tattoo that Jungkook had. Namjoon looked at you apologetically. His eye was bruised and his lip had clearly been spilt open.

“I’m so sorry Y/N. I’m sorry I brought you into this mess.”, he cried.

Instinctively you went to run to him but Yoongi stopped you. Pulling you close against him again. You wanted to protest, but were cut off by a high pitched laugh.

A strange man came walking in directly towards Yoongi positioning himself at eyelevel. “Well well well, you didn’t really think you could hide from me did you Kitty?”, he spoke running his finger delicately along Yoongi’s cheek.

You noticed the large Viper tattoo front and center on his chest. It didn’t take much to figure out that you were looking directly Viper himself.

Then as if you called him by thinking of him he set his sights on you hiding behind Yoongi.

“Ohhhh I see you’ve got yourself a little girlfriend. How adorable.”, he laughed.

“Don’t touch her.”, Yoongi spat.

“Please, I don’t want anything to do with your whore. The hybrid fucker can get lost for all I care.”

Viper walked closer to Yoongi until he was a mere inch from his face, “You know you’ve cost me a lot of money and time over the last few months. You’re going to have to make this all up to me.”

“Fine, just let Y/N go free.”, Yoongi said.

“No Yoongi, you can’t do that.”, you cried reaching for him, but Viper snapped his fingers and two of his men came over dragging you away. You tried your best to fight free, but they overpowered you.

As you were being pulled away you saw Viper kick his foot into Yoongi’s stomach dropping him to his knees in pain.

Something off to the side took his attention away from Yoongi though and you saw his face light up into a disgusting grin, “Tae is that you? I thought I lost you forever. This day just keeps getting better.”

Taehyung let out what could only be described as low roar making you jump in surprise forgetting for a moment that he was half lion.

“Stand down you overgrown house cat.”, Viper scoffed.

“Leave him alone. You have me now. Just like you wanted.”, Yoongi shouted.

You watched as Viper strolled over back Yoongi before backhanding him so hard causing Yoongi to fall over.

You screamed out his name, tears streaming down your face at the abuse he was receiving.

Viper rolled his eyes annoyed at the scene you were causing. He pointed to one of his men that currently had a death grip on your arm, “Finish her.”

Once again you felt the familiar cold metal against your skin.

“Noooo, don’t fucking touch her.”, Yoongi cried using what little strength he had left to try and break free.

Viper sadistically smiled seeing this all unfold., “Do it. Make sure Yoongi see it happen. It’ll be the first step in his punishment.”

You looked at Yoongi. His eyes were bloodshot and he was out of breath. A bruise on his cheek already forming. You mustered whatever you could manage to give him a small smile before closing your eyes. You could hear Yoongi’s pleas and cries. You wondered if you’d feel pain. You wondered if it would be instant.

Everything went silent. Then you heard the familiar sound of a gunshot so you braced. But you never felt pain. You never felt the impact. You thought maybe it really had been instant.

Then you heard doors slamming open and lots of shouting.

“HPA! Put your hands in the air before someone else gets shot.”

You opened your eyes to find dozens and dozens of HPA officers swarming the warehouse. The man who had held a gun to you earlier was facedown on the ground next to you, blood pooling around him.

Three HPA officers slowly walked towards Viper with guns drawn while a forth placed him in cuffs. The rest of Vipers men were quickly placed in cuffs too.

As soon as an officer grabbed the other guy who was holding on to you, you immediately ran to Yoongi engulfing him in a hug and sobbing into his chest.

“This isn’t over. You will pay for all of this. All of you.”, Viper spat at you as he was being dragged away.

“Are you okay? We need to get you to a hospital.”, you turned to Yoongi checking him over.

“No no I’m okay. I’m more worried about you.”, he said squeezing you a little tighter.

“We have a medic outside. They can check you both over.”, a familiar voice stated next to you.”

“Oh my god Namjoon! Are you okay?”, you exclaimed running into his arms.

“Yeah yeah. I’m fine.”, he smiled. “Just some good special fx makeup and terrible acting. Let’s go outside.”

Once in the fresh air you saw a face you never wanted to see again standing next to the ambulance. He gave you a nervous smile.

“What the fuck Jeon Jungkook?”, you shouted as he walked closer.

“Y/N, let me expla-“

He couldn’t finish the statement before your hand connected with his cheek.

“No Fuck you Jungkook. You held a gun to my head. You threatened me. You work for Viper and now you just want to stand here like nothing happened. Why aren’t you in handcuffs?”

Namjoon came in between you two, “Everyone just calm down. We have a command center set up next door. Let go over there, get some water, and cool down a little.”

You were in disbelief that Namjoon was taking his side. You looked at Yoongi for guidance and he nodded his head before reaching for your hand to follow after the two men.

Once in the command center and with a cold bottle of water in your hands you glared and Jungkook still not trusting him.

“How are you feeling Y/N? Can I get you something to eat?”, he spoke.

“Cut the bullshit Jungkook. What’s going on?”, you spat back at him.

“Firstly I want to apologize. That night at your place was one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do.”

You scoffed, “I didn’t ask for an apology. I want an explanation about why it happened to begin with.”

He took a deep breath before beginning, “The agency has really been putting a lot of effort into catching Viper. One of the ideas was to have someone infiltrate his group. Since I did mostly office work and was unknown amongst his men it was decided that it would be me. So about a year ago I started working on that. I pretended to quit the agency. The only people that knew about the whole plan at the time were Namjoon and the head of the HPA.”

“Wait, but you have the snake tattoo. Didn’t you have to kill a hybrid to get that?”

Namjoon stepped in, “It was all a setup. A retired officer who happened to be a hybrid somehow found out about everything. He was also in the final stages of cancer and volunteered his body. He wanted to make sure Viper was taken down for the safety of all hybrids.”

You shook your head in disbelief.

Jungkook cleared his throat and continued, “Viper got word that Namjoon had taken Yoongi to one of his friends. For some reason I had a feeling it was you. So I came over that first night to see if Yoongi was there and of course I verified he was. Two of Vipers guys were with me or I would’ve warned you that night.”

You could feel Yoongi’s tail swinging agitatedly next to you. A low growl rumbled in his chest, “So you purposely brought Vipers men to her house? They could’ve killed her!”

Jungkook scoffed, “I would’ve never let them hurt her. I had to keep the act up or they would’ve got suspicious about why I was there.”

The growl from Yoongi got a little louder so you rested your hand on his thigh to try and sooth him not wanting a repeat of that first meeting. Slowly you could feel him settle down even though his tail said otherwise.

Jungkook continued, “When I came back the second time I was planning on getting you both to a hideout for a while, but then Yoongi wasn’t there. I thought I was alone when I arrived, but once I got inside I realized that I had been followed so I had to act like I was there to get Yoongi.”

“Soooo you threatened to kill me to save your own ass?”, you questioned.

“No no no I was never going to hurt you. The gun wasn’t even loaded. I swear. I just needed to make it believable so that none of us would get hurt.”

“So then how did we end up here? How did you know where Yoongi and I would be?”

Jungkook continued, “Well that first time I was at your house and I punched Yoongi, sorry about that by the way.”

Yoongi rolled his eyes not wanting to accept the apology.

Jungkook continued, “I might have stuck a small tracker in your purse while you were distracted by taking care of Yoongi.”

After noticing your anger rising Namjoon took over, “When we saw that you went to Jin’s shelter we knew that you had found Yoongi. Jin confirmed you had adopted him. Then we tracked you to Taehyung’s address. We got his contact info and then told him everything that was going on. He agreed to play along and help us out by getting you guys to come here. Then we had Jungkook call Viper and tell him we had a tracker with Yoongi so that he’d come here too.”

“Wow unbelievable. Everyone in my life is a lier apparently.”, you shook your head.

“Y/N, I’m sorry we lied. We had to do what we needed to do so we could catch Viper. But I promise you were never in any real danger. We constantly had surveillance on you and if anything had ever happened we would’ve had officers there immediately.”, Namjoon said.

“I hope you can forgive me. I’m really sorry this had to happen this way.”, Jungkook spoke standing up ready to leave.

“I-I don’t know. Thank you for catching him, but I thing I need some time.”

He nodded in understanding and followed another officer out of the room.

Speechless you sat back taking in his words.

“So what happens now?”, Yoongi asked next to you.

“Well we have enough evidence to hopefully put Viper away for the rest of his life and we’ll continue to take down any of his operations that are still standing.”, Namjoon responded.

“Okay and what about me?”, Yoongi asked.

“Oh well you have a few options. We can take you directly to a shelter now that it’ll be safer. Or since you are technically considered a rescued hybrid you do qualify for fostering for a while to help you reacclamate back into society.”

Yoongi was silent but you could see him nod his head out of the corner of your eye. His ears twitched in your direction searching for any kind of sound from you.

The realization hit you. Unfortunately the way the laws were setup a hybrid could only live longterm with their legal owner and since you were not his owner that it meant he could no longer stay with you. Your whole life you had been vehemently against hybrid ownership, but the thought of never seeing Yoongi again made your chest ache.

“Ooorrrr if there’s someone who happened to already want to adopt you then we can work that out immediately.”, Namjoon spoke providing you the option to step in.

Biting your lip you nervously looked around. If you were to adopt Yoongi that would go against everything you ever believed and you’d only be helping the need to continuously adopt out hybrids. But then again you did care about Yoongi like you never thought possible.

“You promised.”, Yoongi whispered next to you, he voice slightly cracking.

Staring at the ground because you didn’t have the courage to look him in the eyes you could sense his steps walking closer to Namjoon.

“I can go to a shelter. That’s fine.”, Yoongi suddenly spoke.

Surprised, Namjoon put on his best fake smile, “Sure thing. Let’s get you over there so you can get settled in then.”

Yoongi glanced at you before following quickly after Namjoon. You felt the familiar burning sensation of tears beginning to form.

“Hey, would you like to come stay back at my place. You can go back home in the morning.”,

Taehyung asked next to you.

Nodding your head you stood up and followed him out to his truck. Once back at his place Lilly ran out greeting you both with hugs. Taehyung went to take a shower while you followed Lilly into the kitchen. She offered you some tea as you sat down across from her.

“You love him don’t you?”, she asked smiling behind her teacup.

“Who?”

“Yoongi. I saw the way you were looking at him.”, she chuckled.

“I-I don’t know. I do care about him a lot.”

“So go get him. Bring him home with you tomorrow. That’s where you both want him to be.”

You shook your head, “No I don’t believe in hybrid ownership. It’s immoral and wrong.”

“Look Y/N, If you don’t adopt him then someone else surely will. You’re not doing him any favors. But I know how you feel. I used to have that same way of thinking. Then I met Tae. I didnt want to adopt him. I mean he was my boyfriend, but then we talked about it. What would happen if someone asked to see papers? Or godforbid he ended up in the hospital and I couldn’t prove anything. They’d take him away and I’d never see him again. At the end of the day it’s just a piece of paper. Nothing has to change between you and Yoongi.”

“I just…I don’t know. Of course I want Yoongi to live with me. I don’t want him to think of me as his owner though. I’m pretty sure I’ve got some feelings for him but what if he doesn’t feel the same?”

“Have you sat down and talked to him about it?”

You shook your head.

“Well that’s where you start. Then you make a decision from there. He seems like a smart guy. I bet he already knows what he wants.”

You took another sip of your tea before looking over at Lilly who was softly twisting her wedding raging.

“Did you ever worry about starting a relationship with Taehyung? Like how people would react?”

She laughed, “Oh yes of course! We both had our doubts when we first started dating. And I can still hear the whispers and see the fingers pointing whenever we go into town but we don’t care any more. We love each other and that’s all that matters. The only way to combat the discrimination is to prove to others that their hate can’t ruin you.”

Her words replayed in your head as you tossed and turned in bed trying to get some sleep. You wondered what Yoongi was up to. Was he sleeping well? Did they give him a nice meal? Had he thought about you at all?

After very little sleep you heard Taehyung and Lilly working in the kitchen. Quickly you packed what few belongings you had and headed downstairs. They greeted you with smiles and offered some breakfast. After you ate you thanked them for everything they had done for you and promised to keep in touch.

Taehyung helped you load your stuff into your car before walking back over to the drivers side where you were waiting.

“Alright you’re all packed up. Let me know when you get home safely.”

For some reason you couldn’t bring yourself to get in the car.

“Did you need anything else Y/N? I can get you some gas if you needed it.”

You shook your head before taking a deep breath., “So, umm… do you know where they took Yoongi last night?”

He flashed you the biggest boxy smiled you’d ever seen, “I was starting to get worried you’d never ask.”

After he punched in the address into your gps you began the drive there, quickly realizing you were on your way to Jins. Of course.

You sat in the parking lot for quite some time trying to work up the courage to go inside. You weighed the pros and cons of every possible scenario. As you sat there you saw Jimin, the Russian blue hybrid, happily running along with the young family who you were assuming had just adopted him. He smiled with pride as the families little girl clung onto him as they all loaded into their vehicle. Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad after all. That was the final push you needed to walk inside the shelter greeted by Jin immediately.

“Y/N I was wondering when you’d show up. I bet Namjoon $20 you’d be here before noon so looks like he’ll have to pay up next time I see him.”

You rolled your eyes, “So I’m guessing you know why I’m here then?”

“Yep, already have the paperwork filled out. Just need a few signatures.”, he said placing the forms in front of you.

“Can I see him first? I want to make sure he’s okay with all of this.”

Jin sighed but of course he brought you back down the hall to the same room he was in last time.

“Yoongi you have a visitor.”, Jin said punching in the lock code.

“I told you I don’t want to see anyone.”, he responded. The hoarseness in his voice broke your heart. He had clearly been crying for quite a while.

“Come on now. You can’t sit in the corner and sulk all day.”

“Jin please just leave me alone. I told you I don’t want to be adopted by anyone but Y/N.”

That little confirmation gave you the confidence you needed to step forward, “Well then let’s go sign some paperwork so we can go home.”

Yoongi spun around so fast he got disoriented tripping over his own feet. You giggled as you tried to help him back up.

“Y/N you really came back for me?”

“Of course I did. I promised didn’t I?”

“I thought you were against adoptions so I didn’t think I’d ever see you again.”, he whispered.

You noticed he was wearing your hoodie. A small detail that made you smile.

“I think I can make an exception. As long as that’s what you want of course. And we agree to be equals.”

He didn’t even have to answer. When he walked over and wrapped his arms around you placing a soft kiss to your cheek, that was all the confirmation you needed.

[ultimatesmalltownnerd]

Naegami talent swap au concept sketches I drew several months ago 🫡

Headcanons for this au under the cut!

•Makoto is still very charismatic, and knows how to get along with people, but it’s for his own gain, rather than because he actually cares about others. For the first two chapters, everyone actually really likes him (except Byakuya, because he figured Makoto out immediately). It isn’t until mid second trial that everyone starts to see him for who he really is- a manipulative piece of shit.

•Makoto has an ongoing, intense, brutal rivalry going on with Komaru for control over their parents’ company. They hate each other.

•Byakuya’s dad is still a manwhore who slept around with multiple women, and has a gajillion kids around Japan. Byakuya doesn’t know any of his half-siblings, and doesn’t care to know them.

•Byakuya’s mom doesn’t like him- he was unplanned, unwanted, and his father disappeared without a trace and doesn’t pay child support. In short, he’s seen as an inconvenience. Because of that, he’s had to essentially learn how to take care of himself, and learn to not rely on anyone else.

•At his shitty middle school, Byakuya spent a lot of time tutoring some of the kids there for extra school credit. Some of those kids had, in one way or another, ties to Mondo’s gang. Word got back to Mondo about him, and he thinks Byakuya is awesome for this, even though they didn’t get to meet until they got trapped in Hope’s Peak. Mondo tries really hard to he his friend, but because Byakuya has very deeply rooted trust issues, it doesn’t work that well.

•Byakuya still catches Mondo leaving the crime scene he made, and finds Chihiro in the locker room, but he doesn’t alter the scene this time. He’s actually really shaken up by it, and refuses to leave his room after finding it, until Monokuma (and Makoto) practically drag him out against his will to participate in the investigation/trial.

•No one likes Byakuya at first, because he doesn’t cooperate, and is blunt with his words. He doesn’t care (or pretends he doesn’t) because he’s never met anyone he could trust in his life thus far, so why would anyone here be trustworthy? It isn’t until the end of the second trial that everyone starts warming up to him. Hina and Sakura even apologize to him for being so rude at first, and say he shouldn’t have had to go through all that. Kyoko also starts asking for his opinion on a lot of stuff about the school, and future trials. Byakuya is appalled by this.

•Something, something, Makoto and Byakuya hold hands, but it takes much longer for them to do that in this au, than in a canon talent au, because neither of them know how to communicate properly, and trust issues are a BITCH.

•Makoto receives the Hina slap in this au LMAO. He’ll never admit it, but it actually really hurts his feelings.

[partycatty]

can we get ninja mine johnny and we’re riding him and pulling on his little scarf like it’s a reign and his makeups getting all smudge and he’s overstimulated and about to cry

love you 💙💙

ohmyfuixdindgodyes love u MORE 🩷

johnny cage > silent movie

you and your co-star sneak off for some costumed fun

warnings: u get FRICKED, porn with like the slightest tinge of plot, johnny whimpers, author prays to a mk1 ninja mime altar on the daily (the one in the armageddon chapter was mk11 johnny, dammit!), you're also wearing a stupid costume, cockwarming?

notes: pookie ur goin CRAZY in my inbox rn ily for it

[ masterlist ]

• you two swore to keep it professional, but every brush of a hand against your ass or the way you'd press against him in scenes you were backed into his body only sent you too into a dazed neediness. johnny especially.

• the agent that put you up to this contract was a godsend, you realized. at first you saw a hefty paycheck for a ninja mime sequel, but then you got to see johnny in all his glory. even with that stupid, stupid makeup on, you had to wonder if you were quite literally soaking through your own ridiculous clown-doctor getup.

• the tension hit a hard peak when you two were given a break when some of the equipment malfunctioned, and although instructed to remain close, johnny gripped your arm and looked into your eyes with what you could only describe as a carnal desire. a look you knew far too well, one that suited his features nicely.

• you could barely close the door to your trailer before he's sauntering up to you, and you only get a quick glimpse at his raging hard-on before he's snaking his hands around your sides.

• foreplay is a myth when he's crawling up your side, placing sloppy open mouth kisses against your neck. there's no time to giggle at the lipstick marks he leave behind because he's already trying to seek more contact by humping his boner against your thigh. you almost want to tease him for his desperation. who would have thought that an a-lister like himself was such... a needy whore?

• needing to get impossibly closer, your hand finds the red scarf hanging neatly around his neck and you tug with fervor, massaging your lips into his so hard that you feel the sudden border of his teeth. all the while, he's rutting into your thigh and dropping lazy whimpers, spewing about how much he needs you.

• needing to feel how hot and hard you make him, you tug his costume upward, exposing his delicious abs and giving you plenty of access to his waistband. you sink under hungrily, wrapping your hands around his shaft the moment you can make out its form, stroking over the veins and only barely making it to his tip with each movement. johnny pulls away from your lips only to breathe, gasping at the sudden skin contact and lurching forward to bite down on your shoulder.

• if anyone heard you two, you'd definitely face a consequence that felt too distant at the moment. now, you had a pretty boy begging for your body, and i dunno about you but that takes number one priority.

• you pull him from your shoulder and push him onto the couch of your trailer, a devious glint in your eye. he falls back with a husky "oof," legs spread and waiting for whatever you'll do to him. you counter this preparation by pushing his legs back together and fumbling with the rope belt that held up his costume's pants.

• his cock springs free of the getup, curving down him with a thick, clear droplet of precum sliding down his shaft. you stick out your tongue and gather a palmful of saliva, coating him evenly and messily. you needed him inside of you just as much as he needed - well, he'd take anything you'd give him.

• your pants are shaken off quickly as you straddle his thick thighs, hiking up your lab coat with your clean hand as you reveal your wet pussy to him. his dick visibly twitches at the sight, and he lets out a deep, rumbly sigh.

• it's clear that between your mixture of fluids and the heat in the room, you're both ready. you spread your folds out wide as you do your best to encapsulate his cock inside of you, feeling burned by the stretching but accepting it like it's your destiny. it doesn't take too long for your hips to meet his, and all johnny can do is whimper and cover his mouth, head tilting back as even glancing at you would make him cum. an embarrassing threat from the man who's a self proclaimed playboy sex god.

• "let's see how silent this mime can stay," you giggle to yourself as you shamelessly swivel on his cock, earning a heavy buck upward. johnny is shaking, quite literally trembling over your pussy. he wants nothing more than to worship your body and taste everything you give.

• as your pace picks up, you realize you're fed up from only seeing the underside of his chin, and you tug on the scarf again to get his head to snap up to face you. his eyes widen at the sensual horror in front of him, you're riding him like a damn bull.

• johnny normally yaps, but you've rendered him a pathetic disaster of a man. he can only mutter curses and whimper your name like a prayer, like if he doesn't reach the quota of saying it you'll disappear. tears prick in the corners of his eyes as you tug on the sides of his neck from the fabric.

• disgusting slapping echoes off of the tiny trailer's walls, and johnny's hands fly to your ass to squeeze your cheeks. alternating between gripping the side of the couch cushion and your ass is the most he can bring himself to do.

• your fist keeps a firm grip on the scarf, but you tilt your palm up to insert a thumb into his mouth, one that he accepts embarrassingly quickly. his tongue flattens as he tastes your thumb, eyelashes fluttering shut as he blinks away tears.

• thank god the studio didn't invest in waterproof makeup, because you swear you've seen the sight underneath you in a medieval painting or some shit. he looked good, too good. johnny's tears melted down the sides of his face, leaving flesh-toned streaks behind. his pink lips were more apparent past the lipstick. you ruined him.

• his fingers dig into your asscheeks with pure delight, his hips now sloppily bucking up into you to meet you halfway with each drop. a part of you wanted to tie his arms down with the scarf and take control, but he was such a good boy for you, so patient.

• you mutter praises, your hand in his mouth now raking through his hair, knocking that damn beret from his head and ruffling his brown locks. the praises sounded like the angels of heaven calling his name, and he shot upward with one final, deep whine. just as you felt him twitch and empty himself inside of you, a firm knock was on your trailer door.

• "ms. lastname, the issue's been resolved. we're going to retrieve mr. cage and get back to filming," a production assistant drones into the crack of your door to get the message through. your hand returns to his mouth, this time holding it against his mouth to muffle his orgasmic whimpers.

• it took all these years of acting lessons to finally pay off, as you keep your voice level and as normal as you could possibly muster.

• "coming!" you reply with a devilish grin as you feel him continue to paint your insides, his eyes rolling back as he heavily pants through his nose. all you can do is sit there and take in every drop he gives you, unmoving on his cock to not alert the assistant outside.

• when you determine the coast to be completely clear, you lift yourself off of him, clenching your thighs tight. johnny gasps and frowns at the sudden coldness around his semi-hard dick, like he wasn't quite done with you.

• "you'd better come up with a good excuse for that," you say, making a circular motion with your finger at his makeup-clad face. he drunkenly grins at you, lopsided and low-lidded. "you look ruined."

• "good," he replies sleepily, still beaming like a fool. "is it a good look on me?"

• "very much so, ninja mime."

[i-trash-about-things]

Sunlight.

An Eddie x Vampire!Gender Neutral!Reader fic that i've been dreaming about for a few weeks.

Summary: After a long day of dealing with the leftover monsters Vecna felt behind after his defeat, Eddie comes back to his trailer hoping for some rest. A mischivious shadow comes knocking.

wc: 2.2k

cw: swearing (a lot) (sorry), mentions of food, mentions of knives and blades, Vamp has two descriptions (black nails, red eyes) but nothing other than that, very brief mentions of drugs. Mostly just humor and setting up for now

chapter one: A soul that's born in cold and rain knows sunlight

The night is dark. As it tends to be.

Something lingers in the air, a faint scent of iron, a chill… You know, normal autumn smells. Living in Hawkins for so long makes you familiar with it, no matter how much you hate it. Summer smells like dew, spring like pollen, so on and so forth.

Eddie likes the smell of Fall. It’s weirdly soothing, even as he walks back home after a long, long day of helping Dustin find a high enough place to set up Cerebro 2.0. So far, no such luck. Since the last one got destroyed, the range of the walkies is a fraction of what they need right now.

Maybe they’ll have better luck tomorrow.

The trailer is silent as he walks in, no sign of Wayne’s signature Dolly Parton tape playing, so he’s probably back at the shelter. Stubborn old man he is… But then again, so is Eddie. The plant was shut down weeks ago, and he still heads out every other night to help around.

After setting his jacket on the rickety chair next to the front door, kicking off his shoes and cutting off the guitar solo playing from his beat up Walkman, Eddie goes straight for the kitchen, the rumbling of his stomach stronger than the need to sleep. The fridge hums alive, flickering light warming up the room for a split second. Once the leftover spaghetti is in hands, he kicks it back closed, and the gentle humming is muffled by the beeping of the microwave.

Living in the so-called, “end of the world” isn’t nearly as exciting as Eddie thought it would be, in all his daydreaming in biology class.

“Beep! Beep! Beep!”

“Alright, I heard ya the first time.” He mumbles, getting up from his slacked position against the counter, but just in that split second— Something runs by his window. Darker than a shadow, and quicker too.

He freezes. Immediately. The microwave keeps beeping, but his eyes don’t move away from the tiny window, squashed between the top cupboard and the counter.

What in the lord’s name was that?

Demogorgon?

No. Too slim. Smaller.

Bat?

Also, probably not. It’d be screaming loud enough to wake up the entire trailer park, and they always travel in packs.

… Then what?

Eddie instinctively reaches for his walkie, walking backwards to the small folding table near the hallway without taking his eyes from that very same spot. After tattering around in the dark for a hot minute, the bulky, plastic case is in his hands, and he presses the talk button before it’s even within reach.

“Guys?” He mumbles, although all that answers is static. “Anyone home?? Over.” Still static.

Goddamn Cerebro.

“Piece of shit.” Eddie tosses the walkie-talkie on the kitchen counter, nervously pacing in place for a second before darting to the window on the other side of the trailer, all but jumping over the coffee table and peaking behind the curtains. The usually familiar sight of the trailer park makes his skin crawl tonight, the bright light of the full moon bringing little comfort when he sees there’s… Someone.

Standing there.

Looking at him.

He stumbles back in a hurry, practically falling on his ass. Looking at him, they were— They were looking at him, who the hell was that?!

The split second where he has to gather himself, pushing himself back to his feet, gives his frantic brain enough of a pause to think. ‘Jesus Christ, Munson, get a hold of yourself,’ the carpet feels cold under his bare feet, even as he reaches for the metal bat resting near the door. ‘You live in a trailer park, dude. It’s probably just Mr. Collins getting too high again and forgetting there are bloodthirsty monsters roaming around now.’

As long as it’s not another of those beasts, he’ll take his chances. The front door opens with an uncomfortably loud noise as he steps out, the grip on the bat tightening. It’ll be fine, it’ll be fine.

He turns the corner…

There’s… No one there.

What?

Okay, now he feels he’s losing his mind.

Eddie walks carefully to the spot the shadow was standing, less than a minute ago. It— It was there. They. It? He’s starting to question if it was even a person in the first place. No one could’ve moved so quickly, so silently. He would’ve heard, there’s dozen of fallen leaves thrown around the yard. Where…

Something hits him on the back of the head.

“AH!” He swings the bat so hard it almost flies out of his hands, his eyes wide while they adjust to the dark. No one. What the fuck? “What the fuck?!”

Eddie looks around frantically. Something definitely hit him— light, right on the back of his head, like those annoying paper balls he got tortured by back in freshman year, the motivation behind him constantly sitting in the very last row since then. His foot hits something as he spins in place, and his eyes instinctively dart down. What he finds… Is a small pine cone.

“What…?” He mumbles, so painfully confused. How…

Someone chuckles.

His head snaps up, heart stuttering in his throat from fright. There’s no one there. Not that he can see, at least. He shifts on his feet again, looking over his shoulder— Just for another pine cone to come hurling, hitting his nape. “Ow! Hey!”

Another laugh, more muffled and barely contained. Whoever is chucking these is certainly having the time of their life.

A pinch of annoyance crawls up his chest. Without really thinking, he crouches, not breaking his gaze from the tree line, and once the damn cone is in his hands, he gets back up and chucks it. “Will you stop doing that?!”

A beat passes.

There’s a ruffling in the shrubbery, and Eddie’s grip on the bat tightens. Slowly, almost shyly, another pine cone rolls out from beneath a bush. It bounces once, a few of the seeds cracking, before landing between his feet again. His brows set into a confused frown.

“What…” He eyes the damn thing, then the shadows between the trees, then the cone again. When there isn’t any movement or suspicious giggling, he slowly moves down…

“Greetings.”

A shadow looms over him. Eclipsing the moonlight, covering his only light source. He looks up.

Bright, red, eyes look back at him.

Eddie thinks he might’ve died for a minute. His heart full on stops, the air in his lungs turning into an ice block from pure terror. Like a deer in the glare of the headlights about to be slaying by a terrible wolf, he freezes.

The shadow’s smile widens.

“Are you okay?”

Like a punch to the gut, everything comes back. Every nerve stands, blood rushing and his heart smashing against his rib cage. Eddie jumps, raising the bat with a swing Steve taught him, but it dodges so fast it’s like the metal passes right through it. That same chuckle rings through his ears, and he swings again, again—

Thunk!

Until it’s stopped, mid-motion. A hand grips it, tight, knuckles not even flinching when he tries to pull it back. But the shadow doesn’t tear it off his hands, simply holding it.

“Woah, careful with that,” The shadow mumbles, bringing his eyes up to it’s– their face. “You could poke someone’s eye out with that thing.”

Eddie’s eyes, wide and frantic, pupils contracted into pinpricks, take in the shadow’s face. And in between heartbeats, he feels his cheeks heat for an entirely different reason. They’re terrifying, the lack of blood in their complexion making them seem almost undead, but still— He knows, if he met this person in a completely different setting, he would’ve done a double take.

‘Oh no they’re hot.’

It’s a split second thought, one quickly pushed aside when he notices something else.

The canines in their smirk. Elongated, curved, impossibly sharp.

‘OH NO.’

‘THEY’RE A VAMPIRE.’

Eddie doesn’t even think twice when he lets go of the bat, taking several steps back and almost tripping on a stray rock in his hurry to move away. When he stumbles, though, a deathly cold hand steadies him.

“Wow, okay— Slow down, you’re going to hurt yourself at this rate.” The shadow says, their eyes leaving Eddie’s for the first time since they locked together to glance down to his unsteady feet. The hand resting between his waist and hip feel almost branding, the freezing chill so intense it passes through his W.A.S.P. tee to his skin. Meanwhile, his thoughts run so rampant he feels like he’s two steps from passing out.

Vampires, vampires— this has to be a joke, right? Mind controlling shadow monsters? Hell spawn looking bats? Plausible! He’s seen them! Almost used to them at this point! And this— this person, if he can even call them that, doesn’t look like they’ve been touched by the Upside Down and the remains of Vecna’s influence. No twisted flesh, goo black blood. If it weren’t for the glowing red eyes and fangs, they’d look almost human.

“Who are you?!” His voice is loud on the quiet night, embarrassingly high pitched. When Eddie tries pushing himself off their hold, his heart stutters when all he can do is squirm. It’s steady, firm, and it doesn’t even flinch no matter how roughly he pulls. After a second, they let go. “What are you??”

“Can you please stop screaming?”

“What are you doing in my trailer?!”

“Okay.” The shadow – vampire – sighs, actually stepping back and putting some space between the two. They raise their hands in surrender, like they’re trying to calm a rabid, scared animal, and Eddie instinctively glances towards them. Maybe a part of him expected them to be covered in blood, like the dramatic covers of those terrible Dracula books, but he’s surprised to find just dark painted nails, ends thinned into sharp points. But not at him, not at all.

He looks back into those damned eyes, the sign of mischief from before nowhere to be found now.

“I’m not going to hurt you.” They declare. “I’m not here to cause you, or anyone, any harm whatsoever.”

Eddie could cackle at that. HA YEAH RIGHT!

“Do you really think I believe that?!” He’s two steps away from shouting now, although he stopped trying to run away. Mostly because he doesn’t think he could reach his van in time. “Nice try, Dracula, I’m not falling for that shit!”

The vampire’s eyes lower a little at that, their head moving down as well like they’re trying to make themselves look smaller, less threatening. Or less visible, like a panther about to pounce. Still, their gaze never leaves his.

“What makes you think that?” Their tone sounds like a joke, the same teasing tilt from a minute ago when they were chucking pine cones to the back of his neck– but there’s a hint of something deeper that makes Eddie frown.

“Are you kidding?? Look at you!” He gestures wildly, eyes following his hands which point up and down their form. His own words catch up to him after a second, and the comeback dies at the very tip of the tongue.

“Look at you! As if trailer trash could actually do anything worth while!”

“Of course he’s a Munson. Could tell with a single look at his face. I bet my entire house he’s exactly like his father.”

“Did you see his hair? Yeah, totally a freak. Could tell from a look he’s into Satanism.”

Eddie swallows harshly.

“What are you doing here?” He tries to keep moving, not lingering on the sudden heaviness on the back of his mind.

The vampire hesitates for a beat, eyes still so static on his own it’s like they don’t even blink.

“I saw what you and your group have been doing around town.” Their voice is calm, slow, hands slowly lowering just a little but always making a point to be within his view. “I was passing through and was interested.”

The twitch of his brow is from confusion this time. ‘Saw my group?’ ‘They’ve been watching us?’ ‘Interested?’

“What?”

“I’ve been staying at the motel near the edge of town.” They gesture over their shoulder, jogging Eddie’s memory to the one entrance to Hawkins still open. “I travel around a lot. Happened to stop by. Was out about one night and saw you and some others fighting off a big, inhuman beast. Easy to declare, I got curious.”

Eddie eyes them for a long moment, the silence setting between them once more. Their words settle on his brain, slowly. It makes sense… As improbable as it feels, it makes sense.

His eyes close, instinctively, to try and scramble for a response.

“A-And you came to me?” He asks, and the vampire shrugs.

“You’re the first one I found. I was out for dinner, recognized your van and popped by.”

Simple as that, huh?

Yeah, he doesn’t believe a single word there.

But, if they are true, of course it’d be his luck to be the first to meet the undead newcomer. Very consistent, shitty universe.

“Don’t— Don’t come any closer.” He hates how his voice shakes when he says those words, the rings on his hand glinting in the moonlight when he raises it to try and keep them back. The other slides slowly to his jeans back pocket, reaching for the familiar comfort of his uncle's old switch blade. Something he kept all these years, mostly to keep him safe in those particularly shady deals, and something he hopes, prays, would help him now.

At that, the vampire's smirk returns. Mischievous, playful, borderline cocky. Something, in the depths of Eddie’s chest, tingles, warm. Creeping up his throat with the way they arch an eyebrow, burning up with way their raised hands curl.

“Or what? You’re gonna stab me?” He freezes. How–

A strong wind hits his face, a flurry of fallen leaves kicking up, and a soft voice whispers into his ear.

“Monster hunter.”

Ends on a bit of a cliffhanger because I wanted to post the first chapter on Hallowen and I'm a vry slow writer lol sorry.

I've got a lot planned for this one :] it's been simmering for a while so I hope you guys enjoy the ride as much as I will

WATCH ME PUT AS MANY HOZIER REFERENCES HUMANLY POSSIBLE IN EVERY CHAPTER HAHAHAHAHAHAH

[boydepartment]

I'm sorry, I'm late- Hwang Hyunjin (oneshot version)

Description: Y/n is a student teacher in a small town in France. Hwang Hyunjin is an idol who decided to run away after trouble started to arise again. He finds himself in the class where she helps, quickly they peaked each other’s interests. Both of them ran from something and it landed them in this small town in the middle of practically nowhere. One thing they both know is that the past always catches up and it is only a matter of time, so they better make the most of it.

Warnings: cursing, maybe a touch of dark subjects. There is French in this story, I am currently studying the language and I am not an expert. If you happen to speak the language and notice a mistake, please tell me! I am happy to learn and correct myself!      

a/n- this is a really old story i wrote a few months ago, and i still think about it, so i decided to compile all the chapters into one whole story. i always reread this story too IDK i cleaned it up a little too

wc- 25k ? MASTERLIST

Chapter 1: His eyes

You sat up slowly, feeling the sun through your thin curtains. Your body felt refreshed, oddly enough. Looking over at the clock on your wall you hopped up.

You were late to class! You ran to the wardrobe to get a quick outfit. Throwing on some old clothes the ever so kind old lady, Gram, across the street gave you when you first moved here as a housewarming present. She also made you her special pasta, the thought made your mouth water, but you didn’t have time to relish that thought. You rushed to your bathroom washing up to look presentable enough to be running around a classroom helping the teacher. You grabbed your flats which were by the door and threw your book bag over your shoulder. Feet out you started running down the worn old street.

                “Morning Y/n!” One of your neighbors yelled from across the way. You mustered a morning as you kept running. You could not be late! That would look unprofessional! You started to see the town in the distance and took a second to breathe. What time was it now? You dug through your bag and found the watch you bought from the general store. 7:45am.

Alright! Finally slipping your flats on you took note to remind yourself to take a bath when you got home, especially since you ran barefoot all that way. You started to run again down the hill not noticing the person at the bottom. You ran straight into him, your bag swinging around you.

                “DÉSOLÉ! JE SUIS EN RETARD! (Sorry, I am late)” You yelled and kept running. Normally you learned not to apologize much here, but you really rammed into him.

However, it was worth it! You got to the small classroom in the tiny-tiny school in time.

                “Bonjour, Y/n. (good morning, Y/n)” Your higher up greeted you. You greeted him back with a nod and sat down in your desk which was sat by his. You were learning how to teach art here. Since the teacher was getting old and Mr. W noticed that you weren’t one of the young people to just leave the small French town after his semester class, he decided to take you under his wing. He would tell you how to thoroughly teach an art class, as well as help you with your French. For the most part a lot of people in town would cut you some slack, they pretty much picked up that you were young and at least trying to speak to them as much as you possibly could.

The classroom started to fill with young adults, it was the usual class, until someone who wasn’t ordinary showed up. It was the guy you rammed into at the end of the hill. The more you looked at him the more he stood out to you. His hair was chopped horribly, and his clothes had what you assumed to be the logos removed. You have read an abundance of true crime books in your youth so to say this man didn’t raise all the red flags would be a lie. He didn’t look like he would harm anyone though, that is what truly through you off about him. He looked like a scared ally dog.

Eventually you got tasked to clean up the brushes from last class, you quickly got up and went to the broken-down sink at the back of the room. You let them soak and you listened to the head teacher guide the class through the lesson. Soon that will be you leading the class, you couldn’t wait. Mr. W really knew how to captivate the learning starving artists, soon everyone was working as the record player near his desk started to play famous classical pieces. Your eyes drifted to the young man in the corner, once again catching your interests. You watched as he deliberately and carefully let the small delicate brush hit the thick paper. The sun hit him beautifully and you started to notice little details about him. Then he made eye contact with you, and you quickly went back to soaking and cleaning the brushes, you even went as far as cleaning various old materials used earlier on in the week.

As much as you tried to get your mind off him, you couldn’t. Huffing you grabbed a stool and sat next to him. He looked at you with a terrified look, he looked as if you caught him sneaking a cookie from the cookie jar before dinner.

                “You’re new here, I ran into you…” You mumbled and kept looking at him, he looked down quickly at his work.

                “I- yeah. It’s okay…” The young man went back to his painting.

                “Do you speak French?” You watched his line work again; his eyes watched the brush intently.

                “Very little, I have visited Paris many times, but I don’t stay long.”

You let out a small huff of a laugh, “Paris is quite far from here.” This caught his attention and he looked at you.

                “Good.” He said softly then turned back. You two have been talking in a soft tone due to people around you trying to focus.

You decided to keep talking, “did you just move here? I haven’t seen you around.”

                “Yes, a couple weeks ago. I was at the Inn until I moved into the neighborhood above the hill.” He dipped his brush in the paint again and kept the steady hold.

                “You live in the same neighborhood as me.” You said, “you’re also mainly a landscape artist.”

The man looked stunned, and he dropped the brush, “how can you tell?”

                “The way your lines are deliberate, you’re calculating in your head instead of feeling out the page and medium emotionally.” You said and made eye contact with him; he was a total mystery to you. After living in this town a couple of years, you learned about almost everyone. The town only sometimes got any new visitors until this guy just showed up.

                “You can pick up on that?” The man spoke softly, he seemed to walk on eggshells around you. Did you hurt his feelings? There was nothing wrong with deliberate and calculated lines.

                “Yes, mainly because I wish I could do that in my art.”

He picked up the brush again and dabbed it on the paper, “what mediums and styles do you work in?”

                “Portrait and abstract. For portrait I work in charcoal and watercolor, for abstract I work in all different types of stuff I can get my hands on.” You spoke softly. When a ghost of a smile graced his features, you almost felt your heart stop and you didn’t know why.

                “I hate working in charcoal and abstract.” His eyes followed his brush strokes again.

                “Which house do you live in?” You asked him.

He smiled again, “you ask a lot of questions.”

                “We haven’t had someone new actually move in since I moved in.” You quickly answered back.

The man acknowledged your statement, “the one with the dead rosebush in the front.”

                “It’s not dead forever!” You said rather defensively, mainly because you live right next to this house which you thought was vacant still, “it just needs some help.”

                “Ah so you know the house I live in?” He picked up a thicker brush.

                “Yes, you’re my neighbor. It is a small neighborhood in a small town. Also why is-“ you were going to ask him about his hair when Mr. W called you by his desk. You excused yourself and walked over. He ended up tasking you to clean up the chalkboard, something about his arm hurting him. If you translated that correctly.

As you cleaned up the old-fashioned school board you felt eyes on you, you knew they were the mysterious stranger’s.

Well, your mysterious neighbor.

After the class was dismissed, you helped clean up for the day and Mr. W excused you. When you grabbed your bag and walked out of the classroom you saw the mysterious stranger again. He saw you and you noticed he got nervous again.

                This guy was very odd.

You approached him, “you can go home now.”

                “You wanted to ask me something though.” He said and you two walked out of the school building. You looked up at him trying to remember what on Earth you were going to ask him earlier. You pouted a bit trying to remember.

                “If you don’t remember then I live next door.” The man said, he went to turn to the direction of the neighborhood, and you stopped him again.

                “Wait, what’s your name?” You had grabbed onto his sleeve. His lean figure whipped around.

                “Hwang Hyunjin.” Part of his expression told you he was nervous to say this, but still answered you.

                “Can I give you a nickname to help me remember?” There was no way you wanted to forget his name let alone accidentally pronounce it wrong. Between speaking English and now heavily studying French, sometimes your pronunciations could get a little wonky.

You saw him smile warmly at you, “Sometimes people would call me Jinnie.”

                Jinnie… How cute.

You nodded and repeated it then introduced yourself, “I am Y/n. Y/n L/n.” You put your paint-stained hand out for him to shake. He gladly took your hand and shook it. His hand was quite larger than yours and the next thing you knew he turned away and waved. You stood there dumbfounded, this man, Jinnie, was odd. But he was interesting and young like you. Part of you felt like you had to help him, no one really helped you when you moved to town. You didn’t want this man to go through that too. You made up your mind, you would show up at his door tomorrow and walk to school with him.

Your feet made their way to the heart of the small town, you greeted the locals, they were now kind to you and warm. You belonged here now to them. It was a foreign feeling, being a part of a community that was kind to you. Walking into the bookstore where you help part time you were greeted by your coworker.

                “Ah… Vous n'avez qu'à balayer le plancher. (I need you to sweep the floor)” She didn’t always give you tasks like this, most of the time it was restocking shelves or working the counter. However, you didn’t mind sweeping the floor. You nodded and went to the back room to retrieve the broom and dustpan. Everything was older and you thrived in this environment. You could be doing nothing at all, or cleaning, and you are happy. You loved it here. Maybe you romanticized a little too much though. The thought made you smile to yourself. After your sweeping your boss had you tidy up some shelves.

                “Um, Y/n!” She peeked her head in from one of the shelves, “A demain(see you tomorrow)??”

                “Oui. (yes)” You said simply, you planned on popping in tomorrow after school anyways, if she wanted you to help out too, you would gladly do so. You saw her smile at you then nod, walking off to other tasks. Once you were done you said your goodbyes and started to walk back home. Your little neighborhood wasn’t far from the town. Part of you felt excitement bubble up in you, remembering your new neighbor.

When you walked up the hill it was already nighttime, you honestly think you should start carrying a walking stick especially because it was a pretty empty field surrounding the small jumble of brick homes. The trees didn’t start until the back of the neighborhood. You never went that way though. Whenever you walked into the beaten path you found yourself once again becoming happy, seeing someone new here really greatened your appreciation for this town. You wondered if Jinnie had the same appreciation as you.

You unlocked your small house which you would be lying if you said it wasn’t some little cottage. You decorated it the past two years like that on purpose. Kicking off your flats you remembered how dirty your feet were. Letting out a small laugh, you walked towards the bathroom and drew yourself a bath. As you waited for the water to fill, you made yourself some tea. It was dark out now and you felt it would be a great way to end your night. As you washed your hands in the sink, you had a perfect view of your neighbor’s living room. You didn’t want to be creepy, so you closed the curtains, but not before taking note of how peaceful he looked reading a book that clearly enthralled him. Your heart pounded and next thing you heard was the kettle whistling. Quickly shaken out of your thoughts you waited to pour yourself a cup and head back to the bathroom.

Slipping into your nightgown which was yet another gift from your birthday last year from the kind lady across the way. She wanted to always repay you for bringing her your homemade pumpkin bread once every other week. She was your first friend here. You went under your covers and made sure your alarm clock was on this time. You had to get up a little early anyways, you wanted to walk with Jinnie to school.

                                                          ~+~

Shockingly, your alarm did wake you up. Excitedly you hurried to get ready, your feet pitter pattered to the wardrobe. You grabbed a dress and another sweater; you were always one for layering even if summer was quickly coming. That means you would have another year of student-teaching experience under your belt. It also meant you would spend more time at the bookstore soon, which made excitement bubble in your stomach. You walked to the bathroom and once again got washed up for the day. Teeth, hair, the homemade lip balm you made yourself, all done!

You slipped your socks and boots on, today felt like a boots day. The breakfast menu was some fruit and toast, you really had to pick up more food soon at the market. Maybe you would go in a couple days on Sunday, the town always had merchants come in and it was outdoor. You nodded to yourself and finished eating. Grabbing your bag you headed to the neighbor’s home, the one with the sad rosebush.

To say you were a little nervous would be a lie, you weren’t used to being the one to almost chase after someone, but Jinnie intrigued you. You knocked a couple times and he answered, seemingly already dressed.

                “Good morning, Y/n.” His voice was soft. Jinnie’s eyes looked tired.

                “Good morning Jinnie, do you want to walk with me to the school?” You really hoped he would say yes, he could be the only friend you have that was actually your age. Jinnie smiled down at you.

                “I would love to actually, let me grab my things.” He went to shut the door but then opened it, “you can come in.”

You took up his offer and decided to look around the house, it had been vacant since you had moved in. But it surely didn’t look like it got worn over time. You saw how he had already had stuff hung up, his art which looked recent, there was no sign of dust stains.

                “I have been painting a lot since I moved here.” He said now next to you, you nodded slowly.

                “I see most of them are of the town.” You noted, you recognized the general store and the fountain in the middle of town.

Jinnie hummed, “I used to paint flowers a lot, sometimes people or still lifes. But after moving here I have been inspired by the architecture.”

You finally got a look at his clothes, “you are wearing normal clothes today. No torn off logos.”

His brows furrowed, “you take note of everything don’t you? Our neighbor across the street gave me these. Said I was her old husband’s size.”

                “She did the same for me too.” You smiled at the memory, “if you want to thank her, I bake her bread once every other week. You can join me.”

His eyes, which were once tired, lit up, “I love bread.”

                “We will have to make extra then.”

After you talked about the pumpkin bread recipe you two started your walk to the school, the sun now just rising over the town.

                “It is hard to not romanticize this town.” He suddenly spoke, “although the people here sometimes act like they hate me.”

You let out a small huff of a laugh, “they do that to newcomers, if you want, I can help teach you some basic phrases. It will help them warm up to you more.”

                “You would do that?” Jinnie asked you, the cool spring breeze brushing through his hair.

                “Yes, in exchange that you help me with landscape art.” You said and put your hand out again, to shake on it.

                “Deal.” This time he actually grinned and shook your hand. You saw his toothy grin for the first time that morning. This man was dangerously charming.

You really couldn’t help the small glances you two would exchange during class, the small smiles, everything. He was an instant click for you. However, you didn’t let him distract you from your work, Mr. W would kill you if he found out you were getting distracted by some random boy. You started to study the art history books Mr. W assigned for you to take notes on, he always said if you wanted to teach a subject you had to know the history behind it. Your favorite artists were all landscape-based artists, mainly because you couldn’t do it. Your art was either the small details of people’s faces, or complete disordered abstract. Your mind once again wandered to Jinnie who was now cleaning his brushes, his art study on the town that was hung up by the door of his home was almost perfect in a way. You wondered how Jinnie himself just did that.

After the class, you picked up your history books and thanked Mr. W. Since it was Friday you wouldn’t see him until Monday, unless he called your landline asking you to come in. When you walked out you saw Jinnie waiting there for you once more.

                “Mr. W really knows how to capture the attention of students.” Jinnie spoke and held the door open for you. You walked out and waited for him this time.

                “I am very thankful to be able to learn from him, he wants me to take his teaching position when he is ready to retire.” Your bag swung a bit when you flipped around to face him.

                “You are very welcoming; I am sure you will be a good teacher.” Jinnie said, you two walked down the dirt path, almost to where the crossroad was.

                “Thank you,” you smiled at him, “I have to go to work… Which is in town…” You weren’t very good at goodbyes or see you laters.

                “I can bring you dinner tonight if you want, I mean you are helping me out with getting settled here. It’s the least I can do.” You two now stood at the crossroads.

                “I get home sort of late… Tomorrow though would be better, since I work in the morning and will be done by the afternoon.” You offered, you were curious to how good his cooking is, and you would never pass up on a free meal.

                “Alright, Saturday evening, I will cook and bring over the plates.” He nodded to himself. Before you were about to say goodbye he already flipped around and waved to walk home.

Jinnie was certainly a person you wanted to figure out, you even found the urge to try and paint him in your sketchbook. That urge hasn’t happened to you since high school.

While doing your chores in the little bookstore you saw some tourists, it seemed like your little town was gaining traction and that made you nervous. You liked how it was a small place to live, under the radar. This sort of put a damper on your mood, it had you overthinking.

It kept you over thinking into the next day as well, especially because that Saturday morning more tourists came by, and it scared you. You didn’t want people here, you realized while sweeping you had no right to say that. You were once a foreigner here too. Sighing, you kept mopping the same spot over and over.

                “I think it’s clean.” Someone spoke softly behind you, you turned around to see your other shop owner’s daughter, she was your second friend in town. She got you a job here with her mom in exchange of you tutoring her in English.

                “I-I’m sorry. There is just a lot on my mind…” You mumbled; she turned her head in confusion.

                “The recent abundance of tourists or that handsome man every girl in town is raving about?” She had a wicked grin on her face, “there are whispers about him living in the same neighborhood as you.”

You set the mop to the side, “it’s just the tourists, you know that makes me nervous and there seems to be more of them.”

She nodded, “you can head home early if you want, I need to make some extra money some of the girls in town want to make the handsome man cookies this weekend and I need to buy powdered sugar tomorrow at the market for the finishing touch.”

You thanked her and started to pack up, before you left you turned around, “oh by the way, his name is Jinnie.” You winked at her and walked out. The shop owner’s daughter felt like your sibling, although she wasn’t around often due to her schooling in the next town over. The time you spent with her you cherished. You took a deep breath then smiled to yourself, you had something to look forward to tonight and that was dinner with ‘the handsome man.’ You thought it was so cute that the girls were gossiping about him.

To thank Jinnie you stopped by the general store and picked up some flowers, that weren’t dead like the ones in his front yard.

                “Y/n!” You flipped around and saw your other neighbor, the kind old lady, Gram. You grinned at her; you had already paid for the flowers, so you went over to her.

                “How are you, Gram?” It was nice to see her out and about.

                “Well, I made friends with your next-door neighbor, Hyunjin.” She said and put stuff in her basket. You decided to walk with her and help her with her shopping.

                “Did you?” You asked and got something from the shelf she pointed to. Gram let out a small hum.

                “Yes, and I found out stuff about him for you.” She spoke slyly.

You laughed a tiny bit, “oh really?”

Gram let out a huff and nodded, “yes, he is a few months older than you. He traveled a lot, and he used to sing.”

                “That’s new information to me.” You mumbled to yourself.

                “I can’t hear you when you mumble.” Gram said back.

You apologized quickly and repeated yourself again.

                “There is a lot of things I feel you two could learn from each other.”

Your brows furrowed and pondered what she could mean by that. It was quite an odd thing to say but then again, she was odd herself. You helped your neighbor with the rest of her groceries and walked her back home.

                “Oh, tomorrow, Gram, I am going to the morning market, I will make pumpkin bread for you tomorrow as well, all fresh ingredients.” You said as you helped unpack her groceries in her kitchen. It was filled with old photos of her family; she also had a little collection of porcelain bunnies.

                “I am so excited for that dear.” Gram spoke from her chair in the living room. You finished up and walked in her very floral living space.

                “Is there anything else you need?” You asked.

                “Tell Hyunjin to bring me back my recipe when he’s done with it.” Gram then waved you off.

He borrowed a recipe?

You walked across the street to your humble abode and started to get ready for dinner with Jinnie. You set the red roses down on the table then started to your bathroom. You took a quick sponge bath and tried your best to look presentable. You had thrown out all your makeup a few months after you moved here, and you didn’t want to check the chest at the foot of your bed which was locked up with your old stuff for a reason. Out of sight out of mind. You dug in your wardrobe and saw a nice floral dress and slipped it on. Tying the back you smiled, Gram had a very good fashion sense in her youth. You rummaged through the little box of sewing supplies she gave you and found ribbons, you tied your hair with them. If he was making dinner you had to look presentable. Skipping to the kitchen you dug around your cabinets; you had wine somewhere around here. It was a housewarming present from the man who sold you this home. It had to still be okay… right? You never opened it. As you were rummaging there was a knock on the door, startled you hit your head on the top of the cabinet.

                “Ow…” You mumbled and wobbled up to the door. When you opened you saw Jinnie standing there with a basket in his hands, he must’ve gotten dressed up as well. He looked astronomical even with his choppy messed up hair.

                “Can I come in?” He spoke, a smile gracing his features.

You stepped out of the way and let him in, “do you like red wine? I am pretty sure I have a bottle here. Somewhere.” You mumbled and he followed you into the kitchen.

                “I could use a glass.” He set the basket down by the flowers. You had already resumed crouching by the cabinet, next thing you knew he was next to you helping you search.

                “Oh, the flowers on the table are for you. Figured you’d want something alive.” Chuckling at your own joke you moved the olive oil.

                “There it is.” Jinnie said while laughing slightly with you. He grabbed the bottle and set it on the counter, then put his hand out to help you up. You gladly took it and his soft hands held yours, then quickly let go when you were situated. Much to your dismay.

                “I do love the roses; they are my favorite actually.”

The corners of your mouth curved, “we will have to nurse the bush in your yard then.”

                “That we will.” He walked to the table, and you grabbed your glasses and the wine. Meeting him at the table you saw that he made pasta.

                “Gram said you really liked her pasta, so I tried my best.” Jinnie said and set the table.

                “I love her pasta; she made it for me when I first moved here.” You were quite surprised that he did this. You set the glasses down and poured the wine.

                “So, she said.” Jinnie motioned for you to take a seat and you did, he quickly followed. You saw he was waiting for you to take a bite. When you did you swore you could cry. It tasted so good, it wasn’t quite like Gram’s however, it was still so amazing to your taste buds.

                “You really- wow.” You wiped your mouth with a napkin, “this is really good.”

Jinnie grinned and took a sip of his wine, “I am so relieved, I was a little worried.”

                “You shouldn’t be, this is amazing Jinnie thank you.” You took another bite then washed it down with a small sip of wine.

Jinnie started to eat his food and he looked surprised, “you weren’t just lying to make me feel better, wow.”

Him being surprised by his own cooking made you laugh, hard. He looked up at you and started to laugh.

                “I thought you were just lying to be nice. Honestly.” Jinnie spoke between giggles. You kept giggling.

                “Tomorrow I am going to make that pumpkin bread for Gram, I just have to go to the market in the morning.” You said and took another bite of this amazing recipe.

                “May I join you? I heard the guy at the general store talk about the Sunday markets.” Jinnie asked. You nodded.

                “Of course, you can come with me, I’d love that.”

The way he was so charming and thoughtful really had you entranced. Jinnie was still a mystery to you and maybe that is what made you attracted to him. Or maybe the fact he has been the only guy around your age staying in this town longer than a semester. You didn’t know, but you weren’t complaining.

Chapter 2: His laugh

                “Good morning Jinnie!” You grinned as you swung open your door, the morning breeze already rushing at you.

                “Good morning, Y/n. I haven’t seen you in forever.” He joked as you locked up your home, you smiled remembering the previous night. Your dinner with him. Before he had left, you helped him clean his plates and you two pretty much finished half of the wine.

You two walked down the path to town, you really liked getting to walk with him. He started to open up and talk to you little by little. You think he realized he was in the same position as you, you were the only person near his age.

                “Gram said you told her you can sing, I forgot to ask you about that last night.” You said and he almost dropped his basket.

                “Gram told you?” He chuckled, you two were now at the top of the hill.

                “She did, I would like to hear you sing.” You said and looked at him, the sunrise warming both your bodies.

                “Maybe, I prefer dancing though.” Jinnie said and turned to you.

                “Dancing, singing, what else can you do?” You asked, Gram was right, he was something.

Jinnie smiled to himself, as if remembering something, “well, I can speak Korean too, some Japanese, uhhh…”

Your jaw was on the path, “and now you want to pick up French? That is very impressive.”

                “Korean was my first language,” Jinnie spoke softly, the tired features washed on his face again.

                “Can you show me your dancing one time?” You asked, wanting to change the subject. Jinnie once again smiled.

                “I would love to.”

You two arrived at the Sunday morning market not much later then that conversation. The heart of the town was bustling, you recognized the tourists again. You looked down and then up at Jinnie when he tugged the sleeve of your sweater.

                “What do we need to pick up?”

Some of the ingredients you already had at home, “we just need eggs, pumpkin puree, and cinnamon butter.” You said to him as he leaned down so he could hear you. He nodded and led you to the dairy stand. When the guy asked him what he wanted in French he started panicking and looked to you. You cleared your throat.

                “Je voudrais cinq œufs, sil vous plait. (I would like five eggs please)” You said to the man, he nodded and handed you the five eggs carefully. You softly set them in Jinnie’s basket and paid for them.

                “Merci! (Thank you)” You said to the merchant and continued on your way.

                “Thank you.” Jinnie said down to you. You smiled up at him.

                “This will be your first lesson, okay?” You grabbed him and pulled him to a bench. He sat down and you sat next to him.

                “Okay I am ready.” Jinnie said, his hands still gripping the basket.

                “When you ask for something, you say, ‘Je voudrais’ that directly translates to, ‘I would like.’” You explain to him, he repeated it back to you and you helped with pronunciation.

                “Then right after you say what you’d like, you then end it with ‘sil vous plait’ which means ‘please.’” Once again, he repeated it back to you, you smiled.

                “If you want you can even say, ‘merci,’ which is, ‘thank you.’” You further explained, “if you’re REALLY thankful, you can say, ‘merci beaucoup.’” He nodded and took note of your mini lesson.

Standing up you put your hand out instinctively, he grabbed it, and you led him to the next stand, this one had fruits. This is good practice. Plus, you wanted an orange to snack on. You led Jinnie up to the stand and he looked a little nervous. You told him how to ask for two oranges. When the guy asked him what he wants, he gulped and then spoke.

                “Je voudrais…” He looked down at you, you looked up at him and squeezed his hand, “deux oranges, sil vous… plait.”

You grinned at him, you handed the man the required money and you two got your oranges.

                “Jinnie that was amazing I am so proud of you.” You shook his arm that didn’t have the basket in it, in celebration.

                “My pronunciation was… okay?” He looked down at you, you nodded.

                “You did really well. The guy didn’t even look annoyed at you!” You giggled then continued to drag him around with you to get the other ingredients.

When you two were about to leave someone called his name, he whipped around and saw a group of five girls run up to him. You recognized one of them, it was your boss’s daughter.

                “We wanted to make these for you!” One of the girls said, another girl handed him a bundle of what you assumed were the cookies. He smiled awkwardly at them.

                “Ah… Merci… beaucoup!” He looked at you and you gave him a thumbs up. The group of girls started to giggle before practically running away. You heard whispers of, bel homme, and il est tres gentil. It made you laugh a bit and you two started your walk home.

                “What were they saying as they were walking away?” Jinnie asked you as you opened your front gate for him. You started to laugh as you dug in your pockets for your keys.

                “They were saying you were beautiful and very kind.” You saw his shocked expression and then you turned to open your door to your home.

Walking in, he set the basket down on the counter, and his gift on the table.

                “Well, that was very…” He looked at you.

                “Gentille.” You finished for him. Jinnie nodded and giggled then repeated what you said.

                “Gentille of them.”

You started to unload the groceries, leaving the ingredients for the pumpkin bread out. You saw at the bottom of his basket he had Gram’s recipe at the bottom. You smiled to yourself.

                “What can I help with?” Jinnie asked breaking you out of your thoughts.

                “Could you get the bowls and stuff please?” You asked him, he nodded and started on his first task. He retrieved them in no time and soon you two were baking.

                “JINNIE, CAN YOU GRAB THIS?” You wobbled your way from the back pantry where all the flours and sugars were, he quickly rushed over and grabbed the flour too, helping guide you to the kitchen.

                “Okay we did it!” Jinnie said and wiped his face. You started to laugh, and he looked at you with a confused look.

                “You have pumpkin puree on your face.” You reached up and wiped it off his forehead, still giggling at him.

Jinnie looked away from you, a smile on his face.

                “Can you preheat the oven?” You asked as you started to mix all your ingredients. He hopped to it instantly.

Once the bread was in the oven you two found yourselves looking over the bookshelf in your room, “you have a lot of good reads.”

                “Thank you.” You sat down on your bed and watched him, “I needed books to keep myself occupied when I first moved here.”

                “You don’t have a phone or a laptop?” He asked and turned around, holding a book of Monet’s work and history.

                “I do, they are just locked away, if someone in town wants to contact me, they can just use the landline.” You said simply.

Jinnie looked up from the book and right at you, “in that chest by your bed?”

You nodded, you didn’t look up from the book you were reading, “mhm.”

                “Can I ask why they are locked away?” You felt the bed shift, he sat by your sprawled out body.

                “Can I ask how you found yourself here?” You sat up now looking at him with curious eyes.

Jinnie thought for a moment, “I ran away.” He looked away from you as if he was ashamed of himself. Your features quickly softened.

                “It’s… It’s okay…” You spoke, just above a whisper.

Jinnie looked at you, “I was a coward. I am a-“

                “I ran away too.” You said quickly, his eyes widened, “there was a lot going on for me back home, um it became too much so I packed everything and left.”

                “Y/n, I understand that more than you know.” He said and grabbed your hand.

You looked up at him, “maybe one day me and you will go more into detail about why we ran.” You stood up still holding onto his hand, “but as for right now, we have pumpkin bread to deliver.”

                                                                                                ~+~

                “You know when I was a little girl, I used to have the most beautiful blond hair.” Gram said as she sliced the bread for you and Jinnie. She insisted you two have one piece even though it was your gift to her.

                “Your hair is still beautiful, Gram.” Jinnie said to her.

Gram let out a quiet laugh, “Hyunjin you are too kind…” She plated the bread and poured some iced tea for you both, and for her. Then she sat down.

                “Have you ever had Y/n’s pumpkin bread?” Gram asked Jinnie. He shook his head, “you’ll love it, I remember when she first made it for me.” Gram winked at you, and you smiled bashfully. Then you three dove in. Jinnie instantly complimented your baking. Gram told you this was your best batch yet.

                “I had help this time so maybe that’s why.” You smiled at Jinnie.

Gram laughed, “you better help her more if this is how good the bread is going to be!” She joked. You and Jinnie helped clean the cups and plates and she led you two to her living room.

                “I want to show you guys photos in my youth.” She sat you guys on the couch and then plopped herself in the middle of you two. Gram started to talk about how after some events, her and her husband decided to move into this little town to get away. Neither of them knew a lick of French but they learned together. You could tell Jinnie was absolutely enthralled with her romantic tale. His eyes lit up and he would ask her questions, she gladly answered. It made your heart warm; he was so effortlessly charming.

At some point she wanted to take her late afternoon nap, so she kicked you two out, Jinnie walked you to your door.

                “Walk with me to school tomorrow?” He asked with hopefully eyes.

                “I wouldn’t miss it Jinnie.” You spoke and stood at your doorway, the warm air in contrast to the breeze outside.

                “I will pick you up this time.” He said, you nodded and before you could say goodbye, just as usual he flipped around and waved. You shut the door behind you. Giggling you rushed to the bathroom, it was time to take a bath and settle down for the day. You still had to study your art history too. Oh, Jinnie just made you so giddy!

                                                                                                ~+~

 The next morning you knew you overslept because you heard knocking on your bedroom window. You groaned and rubbed your eyes, when you saw his silhouette through your curtains you hopped up and ran through your house, your slippers making you slide. Quickly, you opened the door and waved him in. Jinnie’s warm smile woke you up more.

                “Uh here if you didn’t have breakfast um make something, the pantry is yours!” You ran back to your room to get ready for the day. You threw on some old pants and a t-shirt. Your hair was a mess and part of you was a little embarrassed that Jinnie saw you like this. You threw on a straw hat and jacket, almost falling over you put on your boots.

                “JINNIE IS MY BAG OUT THERE!?” You yelled from your room. You heard him quickly walk around.

                “YES, I GOT IT!” He spoke back. You smiled and walked out, now ready to leave and walk to school with him. When you met him by the door, he handed you your bag.

                “Thank you!” You smiled and next thing you knew you two were walking to the school.

                “Oh, I woke up a little early this morning, so I made sandwiches for us, if you want to eat them with me after class.” Jinnie said and showed you the wrapped sandwiches in his bag, “I also took the two oranges from your fruit bowl.”

                “I will look forward to it, I shouldn’t have work today so I would love to have lunch. Especially your cooking.” Your heart felt warm around him again.

Jinnie let out a soft hum of acknowledgement, “I want to thank you by the way.”

You looked to him as you two just walked made it at the top of the hill, “why’s that?”

                “Welcoming me here, you could have just let me figure it out on my own, but you haven’t.” He spoke softly, “you are letting me depend on you.”

                “Well, you still have to help me with my landscape art.” You nudged him, Jinnie giggled.

                “I have that planned actually; I am trying to find a nice landscape for us.”

This sort of confused you, “you don’t want to paint the town?”

                “I will always paint the town, however, let’s say you get frustrated, at least you’ll have a nice view to calm you down.” He explained, “my first day here when I was still at the inn, I painted the general store, or at least tried to, and I couldn’t get it right. Then someone walked by, and it was the most beautiful view I have ever seen.”

You felt a pang of something, your stomach did flips, who captured his eye?

                “Did you ever get to see your view again?” You asked, Jinnie looked down at his feet, smiling to himself.

                “Almost every day actually.”

That’s odd, “do you know their name?”

                “Yes.” Jinnie giggled once more.

                “Do I know them?” Yes, you were nosy, you couldn’t help it.

Jinnie let out another laugh, except this time he threw his head back then looked at you, “yes you know them.”

You started to ponder as you two walked up to the school, “wait what’s their name?”

                “Y/n.” Jinnie opened the door for you, and you walked in, then spun around.

                “Yes?” You asked and took off your hat, Jinnie smiled at you and tried to fix your messy hair.

                “That’s their name.” He said simply and started to walk to the classroom. He left you dumbfounded in the middle of the hall. Once back to reality you started to run after him.

                “HEY!”

During class Jinnie would make an effort to not pay any attention to you, especially after how flustered he made you right beforehand. It made a little spark inside you; you thought it was funny. The way you’d catch him staring and then he’d dramatically look away. It made you laugh to yourself while you studied your history books. Mr. W started to teach the class about August Friedrich Schenk. You tuned in a bit always being interested by the way there was always an overwhelming dread in the art August Friedrich produced. You struggled painting animals so maybe that’s also why the artist also intrigued you. After the lecture Mr. W assigned you to run some errands to the other teachers, things like reports, attendance, stuff like that. You quickly did as you were told and found yourself greeted by your soon to be coworkers. One of them didn’t have a class for another hour so you found yourself making small talk.

                “Is Mr. W still being nice?” She asked and started to write her lesson plan on the board. She was the poetry teacher, Ms. Felicity.

                “Yes, thankfully, it is really different from being an art student in his class.” You took a sip of tea that she offered you in a paper classroom cup, “he has always been nicer to me though. I am thankful for that. He really has taken me under his wing the past two years.”

                “I’m glad, especially since you’ll be working here soon.” Ms. Felicity turned around and smiled at you.

                “Do you live in the next town over?” You asked, suddenly curious. She nodded.

                “It is quite the commute but it’s worth it.”

You nodded; you remembered the town over was very nice.

                “You know. I wanted to be the art teacher, but here I am doing poetry.” She spoke softly.

You two continued to talk until it was time for you to head back to Mr. W. You found yourself happy that maybe you made a new friend. You seemed to be lucky in that department lately. Walking back into the classroom you saw that Mr. W was close to finishing his lesson. You sat at your little desk and waited for the class to be dismissed.

                “Alright, you have your assignments for the next week, remember due March 13th. I will see you guys tomorrow.” The international students started to leave, Mr. W gave you more things to study for the upcoming week

                “I am very proud of your progress lately, Y/n.” Mr. W said, you gleamed at the praise.

                “Thank you so much, Mr. W!” You quickly picked up your notebooks and bag, packing up. Your teacher made small talk with you about the next assignments for the art students and then sent you off.

Once again you met Jinnie outside of the classroom, “hungry?” He asked. You smiled at him and placed your hat back on your head.

                “Starved!”

                                                                                                ~+~

                “The school has poetry too?” Jinnie asked as you two sat in the grass still in short distance to the school. You were laying on your jacket and you suddenly sat up.

                “Yes, did you not look at the classes?” You laughed and took another bite of the wonderful sandwich Jinnie made for you two.

                “Well… While signing up I was in a bit of a rush.” He said and sipped his reusable water bottle.

You finished off your sandwich and laid back down, “makes sense how you just appeared out of nowhere.”

Jinnie laughed, “I really did huh?”

                “Yes, shockingly. You just poofed.” You flipped on your stomach and looked up at him.

                “Is that why you ask me so many questions?” Jinnie teased.

You nodded, “that is exactly why I ask you an abundance of questions. You pique my curiosity.”

                “At least you don’t just see me for my looks.” He said quietly. Your brows furrowed and you could sense the sadness in his tone. It was a total 180. You wondered where it came from, especially where the statement itself came from. Yes, he was handsome, however did the people who he ran away from just see him as that?

                “No, I see you for your cooking.” You wanted to lighten the mood, anything to get that smile back on his face.

Jinnie rolled his eyes and smiled down at you, “okay Y/n. I see how it is.”

                “Alright! We both have homework to do!” You stood up and put your hand out. He took it and you helped him up, cleaning up your mini picnic you two went on your merry way.

                “We definitely should plant pumpkins in July.” You said and skipped along with him.

                “So, they’ll be ready for Halloween, right?” Jinnie asked, you hummed.

                “Exactly! The town actually does a whole thing for Halloween. It is really cute, too many tourists though.” You said, noticing once more he was lost in thought.

                “Hyunjin…?” You tested the waters of saying his actual name, this caught his attention instantly.

                “Am I in trouble?” Poor guy looked and sounded terrified, you laughed slightly.

                “Nono I just want to make sure you’re okay.”

Jinnie nodded to himself, and he thanked you softly, “it’s just some weird stuff coming back to me again, I’ll be okay.” He reassured you.

                “I understand what you mean, that happened to me on my first birthday here. I hung out with Gram the entire day.” You recalled the memory, “it was weird not being around anyone I knew.”

                “My birthday is in two weeks.” He said suddenly.

Your eyes widened, “WHY DIDN’T YOU TELL ME SOONER!” You practically jumped on him; soft giggles escaped his lips.

                “We’ve been busy it didn’t come up.”

You huffed as you two made it up the hill, “what day?”

Jinnie thought for a moment, his way of keeping you in suspense, “hmmm I don’t remember.”

                “HYUNJIN!”

He looked offended that you used his actual name, “now I’m not going to tell you.”

                “Jinni- “

                “March 20th.”

You laughed at his suddenness, “okay good! We can plan something!” Jinnie looked at you, he looked a little unreadable.

                “You don’t have to…” He mumbled bashfully, you two walked into your neighborhood.

                “Well, I want to, I don’t want you to have the same sad birthday as me when I first moved here.” You were determined, “what kind of cake do you want?”

                “May I request your pumpkin bread?” He asked hopefully. You grinned at him.

                “Yes, you may!”

                                                                                                ~+~

The past week you and Jinnie would continue this routine of walking together to school and if you didn’t have work, you or he would make lunch. At one point he brought you lunch at work; it made you feel special. You found yourself cherishing his attention. He was way different from everyone else you have ever met. Hyunjin’s personality was as bright as the reflection of the sun on the water, and you were basking in it. There was never much to do in this town, you didn’t mind. But now that Jinnie was here, you had lots to look forward to, your schedule didn’t seem as mundane.

Saturday night you two were having dinner at your home once more, this time he brought you flowers, and you were cooking. You had music playing from the old music player in your living room.

                “What did Mr. W pull you aside for yesterday? I forgot to ask.” You said as you stirred the seasonings for the oven baked potatoes.

                “You forgetting to ask something? Impossible.” Jinnie joked. You turned around and gave him the stink eye, he giggled.

                “He wanted to look at my sketchbook, he said on Monday he wants me to bring in some of my work that’s on a canvas.”

You flipped around, “no way.” Jinnie gave you a look as if he didn’t know why you were surprised, “he’s scouting you!”

                “Psh no.” He waved his hand then took a sip of the wine he brought for you both.

                “Psh yes.” You said back and started to pour the seasoning on the potatoes. Once they were in the oven you sat down next to him at the table.

                “Mr. W takes one student from the class and scouts them, then if he chooses you then you get a trip to Paris for a chance to display your work at a gallery.” You explained, “I got picked my first year here when I was a student, look.” You stood up and grabbed the picture frame that was on your side table in the living room. You stomped back over and showed him the photo.

                “See look.” You shoved the picture frame in his hands, “I was really young and he really took me in. I owe him a lot.”

Jinnie smiled at your photo, you were holding what he presumed to be your artwork, you didn’t look much different, “your hair was shorter.”

                “That’s what you’re taking from this? Jinnie!” You grabbed the frame from him again, but he didn’t want to let go.

                “Wait I wanna look at you more.” Jinnie giggled, you sighed and let go of the frame. After a few minutes of him asking questions about your younger self he handed it back.

                “You really think he’s scouting me?” Jinnie asked and poured more wine for himself and you.

                “Absolutely! Whenever I walk by your station I may or may not peek at what you’re working on.”

Mr. W had to be scouting him, this is what your mentor does when he notices talent. Jinnie had that talent.

                “You look at my work while I’m working!?” He dramatically waved his hands around and it made you giggle.

                “I did when we first met, didn’t I?”

Jinnie thought for a moment then nodded, “okay you did but I let you.”

                “And why did you exactly?”

                “I told you; I think you’re pretty, beautiful, gorgeous even, the most beautiful view here. Why wouldn’t I give you the opportunity to be charmed by my work.” The wine must’ve started kicking in because he was getting bold.

You face heated up and you felt yourself scoffing, “you still have to teach me your methods. I am still holding you to that.”

                “I hope you do.” Jinnie said and leaned back smiling. He talked more about his walks he would take when you were working, saying he finally did find the perfect spot to take you painting. You eventually pulled out the bake potatoes and set up your plates, you also fried vegetables. Plating the food, you set it down in front of him.

                “This smells wonderful.” He smiled up at you. You smiled back warmly and sat in front of him, “can you teach me something?”

You picked up on him always wanting to learn something from you, “coffee grounds are bad for your drain… uhhhh…” You thought for a moment, “I don’t think Vincent Van Gogh killed himself.”

                “Oh? Elaborate.” Jinnie loved listening to you, and you loved listening to him. Eventually you two finished eating and you found yourself digging under your bed for old artwork. He wanted to see your portrait work.

                “Most of them I sold to tourists at the market when I first moved here. These are the leftovers.” You handed him the canvases and he looked at your art in awe. It ranged from big to small pieces, all capturing these people’s details. Their very soul on your canvas.

                “These are beautiful…” He breathed; he traced the canvas with his finger extremely delicately. You looked down.

                “You should’ve seen the ones that were sold, I didn’t want to let them go but I had to make money, and this was before my bookstore job.” You spoke sadly, he looked up at you.

                “We will make more pieces like these together.” Jinnie then looked down and more at your other artwork. The thought made your soul happy; you went to dig more under your bed and found old sketchbooks, one labeled abstract and you handed it to him.

                “These were from highschool, if they are a bit dark, I apologize, I don’t really like looking back at these much.” You handed it to him and ever so softly he took it and started flipping through the pages. You found yourself scooting next to him and looking at the worn pages with him. Your eyes went to his face, he looked concentrated as he read the words hidden in your work.

                “You made these in highschool?” He whispered, you nodded.

                “It wasn’t the best time in my life… Some decisions I made led me here though, so I guess part of me should be thankful.” You whispered back. The music from the living room still playing a bittersweet tune.

                “I can relate, although my last year was when I sold myself.” He flipped the page; you were studying him while he studied your work.

You looked back at the sketchbook in front of him, one day you knew you would find out about him. Maybe that night was tonight, “can you tell me?”

Jinnie looked back at you softly setting the book down, he was so gentle with your work, “yeah… I can tell you. But you can’t tell anyone else otherwise I have to leave.”

                “I promise.” You looked him in his eyes, you could drown in them. He stood up and led you to sit down next to him on your bed. You shifted so one leg was dangling off and the other was folded on the bed. He sat forward, hands together. He looked stressed.

                “Jinnie you don’t have to tell me if you aren’t ready.” Your hand found his way to his shoulder, and he looked at you.

                “No, it… it’s okay, I want to tell you.”

You nodded and got ready to have your listening ears on.

                “I used to live in Seoul, like Korea. I was very popular,” he looked away, “I was an idol, that’s why I can sing and dance. People really loved me, as much as I liked it, popularity comes with controversy. Almost every week something was wrong or something horrible was being said to me.” Jinnie took a deep breath and you grabbed his hand, he squeezed it and continued, “as much as I loved being in the spotlight and seeing the adoring eyes of people, I couldn’t take the constant pressure, getting in trouble for rumors someone else started, things I didn’t even do, I was tired, I was always scared of someone always watching me, so I ran the second I could. It is irresponsible of me, and I am sure the past month people have been freaking out, but maybe not, I don’t know, I wasn’t allowed to be active anyways when I left.”

Your hand squeezed his again, “I don’t think you’re a coward Jinnie, I just think you were burnt out and lost. That is okay and it doesn’t make you any less of who you are.”

He nodded, “thank you.”

                “Anything for you.” You spoke wholeheartedly.

                “Can you tell me why you ran?” He asked, you took a deep breath and nodded, Jinnie turned his whole body towards you, now he held both your hands in his large ones. He always wore the same rings.

                “In high school, I didn’t have a lot of friends, so when I finally did make them, I was naïve. I really landed myself in the wrong crowd. I was young and stupid to think these people actually did care for me. One of them I thought I fell in love with,” you felt your eyes start to water, “I was wrong, it wasn’t love, my frontal lobe hadn’t even developed so how was I supposed to know that what was happening to me wasn’t love.”

A tear fell from your eye, and he caught it with his hand. You continued, “at some point it started getting really bad, I got really scared for my safety and my family’s safety so I ran. I never looked back.”

Jinnie held tightly onto your hands, “thank you for telling me.” His voice was calming, and you found yourself crashing into him, hugging him desperately. He cradled you in his arms and let you cry.

                “It’s okay… Y/n let it out… I know…” His hand found its way to your head, and he played with your hair.

                “I miss being home, but I know it’s safer for everyone that I left.” You said in between sobs. Hyunjin just held onto you tighter.                 “I know… I know exactly what that feels like.” Hyunjin kept wiping away your tears as they fell, at some point he let a few of his own tears fall.

Chapter 3: His Kindness & His Birthday

When you woke up the next morning you had a killer headache, when you stood up your head felt like someone took a bat and constantly smacked you.

                “God…” You mumbled and walked toward your bathroom, you cleaned yourself up and started to recall what happened last night. When you walked out of your room you smelled food; good food, was Jinnie still here? You walked down your hallway quickly and saw him standing by the stove, he was cooking. Your curious eyes silently watched him as he stirred what you presumed to be scrambled eggs. He must’ve brought cooking ingredients over from his home. You watched as he swayed back and forth to the music he had playing on; he really could dance. It made you smile to yourself; he really could feel the music. It was impressive.

You didn’t want to embarrass him, so you walked back to your room and called his name.

                “Jinnie!” You re-walked down the hallway.

                “Cooking breakfast!” He called back, you walked into the kitchen, he turned around and grinned at you. The sun was peeking through the curtains, and he was illuminated beautifully, “good morning. Are you feeling okay?”

                “I have a bit of a headache.” You said and looked at what he was cooking, you were right, scrambled eggs.

                “Here, I’ll get you some water. Watch the eggs please.” He spun around and started getting you your glass. You hummed and watched the eggs; it was scarily domestic. Part of you didn’t mind, Jinnie is kind and you have never related to anyone as much as him.

Jinnie handed you a cold glass of water and took over the food again, “drink up, if needed we can run to a less secluded town for headache meds.”

                “I think I might still have some in the cabinet in the bathroom…” You pondered and sipped the water. He started to plate the eggs and put jam on the toast.

                “Where did you get all this food?” You asked, as you sat down on the table. He quickly put the food down and sat with you.

                “I had some back at my house and then I picked up the jam this morning from the general store.” He said simply.

You nearly choked on your food, “you walked to town this morning?”

Jinnie nodded, “mhm, after our crying session last night we must’ve both passed out. You were still asleep when I woke up, so I wanted to make you breakfast.”

                “That’s very kind of you.” You took a bite of your food and once again your tastebuds were delighted.

                “I figured it would be nice after yesterday.” He spoke softly. Yeah, yesterday… You were hit with waves of memories. He ended up telling you why he ran, and you told him why you ran too. He was an idol… Like a celebrity?

                “Do you have any questions? You have a cute funny look on your face.” Jinnie looked up at you.

                “So you were-“ You didn’t even know how to ask.

Jinnie wiped his mouth of any crumbs, “an idol, performer, celebrity, whatever you want to call it.”

You nodded, “are you ever going to go back?” Part of you didn’t want him to. Your eyes just watched him as he shrugged and looked away from you.

                “Not for a while…” He mumbled, then made eye contact with you, “so you’ll be bothered by me for a long time.” Jinnie smiled at you which you gladly returned to him.

                “I look forward to it.”

                                                                                ~+~

The next week on his birthday you showed up at his home in the early morning, you were surprised that he was already up. Sometimes you noticed you had to grab the key under his mat and get him out of bed.

                “Good morning, Y/n!” He said in a sing song voice, you noticed his basket was packed full of things.

                “Good morning, Jinnie!” You grabbed the pumpkin bread from behind your back, “happy birthday!”

You saw his eyes light up and he grabbed the bread, smelling it. After, he set it down and pulled you in a hug, “thank you!”

When he pulled away, he put his hands on your shoulders, “you’re free today right?”

                “Yes, I called off for your birthday.” You smiled brightly up at him.

Jinnie clasped his hands together, “perfect!” He quickly rushed to his basket and put the bread in, “we are going for a walk!”

                “Right now?” You questioned.

                “Yes!” He grabbed his basket and your hand, “we need to pick up your art supplies!”

After the pitstop at your home, you two went on your way.

                “It’s your birthday I should be surprising you!” You walked and swayed your bag back and forth. He giggled and copied your actions.

                “Well, this is how I want to spend my birthday.” Jinnie said, he led the way, walking in front of you. He would steal glances at you as you two walked.

                “Where are we heading?” You were so curious as to where your mysterious neighbor, companion, friend, was leading you.

                “You never fail to be so curious.” His voice was warm.

                “Welllllllll!” You continuously swung your bag back and forth.

Jinnie turned around to look at you and turned his head, there was something in his eyes you couldn’t pinpoint, “do you trust me?” He asked.

You nodded your head, “yes I do.”

                “Perfect.” He grabbed your hand and continued to lead you. You really tried not to get nervous, then your hand would become sweaty.

He started to lead you to the back side of the neighborhood, you decided to keep asking him questions.

                “Is thiiiis… A nice place we’re going to?”

                “Of course, it’s nice, I’m actually surprised that you haven’t been here.” He spoke.

You looked at him, “I don’t usually go this way. Can you still dance for me.”

Jinnie giggled, “yes Y/n.”

                “Sing?”

                “Yes, Y/n only for you.”

You started to swing your hands back and forth, you two were walking next to each other now.

                “Okay we are getting close so close your eyes.” Jinnie said excitedly.

Your eyes closed and you couldn’t help but smile, you let him guide you deeper into the trees. Your feet almost betrayed you a couple of times, with the rock and loose dirt, but he caught you and just held onto you tighter. You felt his warm hands on your arms then they covered your eyes.

                “No peeking.” He said, you let a giggle out.

                “I’m not peeking!”

                “Suuuure.” He teased.

In the next minute he took his hands off your face, “okay wait here.” You heard him giggling and shifting around.

                “I have to get cushions down n stuff.” He explained, “keep your eyes closed!”

                “I am! I am! I promise.” You covered your own eyes. You heard him shuffle around more until finally.

                “Okay open!”

When you opened your eyes you were met with a beautiful scenic lake, and Jinnie was standing there with a ‘well?’ stance.

                “I found this place a little while ago while getting lost to the town, total opposite direction. But it was worth it.” He jogged up to you, “plus it’s perfect to paint.”

You never really had someone be this thoughtful in years, let alone someone who wants to take care of you just because. It was hard to not get a little emotional.

                “Wow…” You breathed.

                “Perfect right?!” He grabbed your hand and sat you down on the cushion. He pulled out the canvases and paints.

                “Just try to paint it, I want to see you do it. Not how I do it.” He said and sat down next to you. You nodded, still in awe about this whole thing. You took out your brushes and started to paint, this time you felt eyes on you. You weren’t watching him paint; he was observing you now.

                “You’re making me nervous.” You spoke just above a whisper.

                “You do this to me all the time.” Jinnie leaned closer to you, you could feel his breath on you.

                “Does it make you nervous?” Your eyes kept going back and forth from the view to your canvas. You kept your stomach erupt in butterflies when he leaned even closer to you.

                “Yeah, it does.” Jinnie said, “you’re doing great by the way, I don’t see why you need my help with this.” He continued to watch you paint in silence, you were about halfway done.

                “Did you even need my help?” Jinnie teased.

You whipped your head over to him and bumped your face with his, he started giggling almost manically.

                “What?” You questioned him, waving the paintbrush, you ended up splattering paint on him. Now both of you were laughing.

                “You know what!” He grabbed a brush and started whipping paint at you too. You two started to battle with paintbrushes. The different color droplets started to spray everywhere.

                “Ah! Jinnie!” You grabbed a glob of blue acrylic paint and whipped it at him, he retaliated by grabbing yellow paint. At some point you two were chasing after each other.

                “Get back here!” Jinnie said, you turned around and saw he was right behind you. You yelped and started to run backwards right into the lake. Jinnie started laughing at you now that you were soaked. But when he skidded at the edge of the lake, he slipped on the mud. His body landed right next to yours with a splash. His head peaked out of the water, his hair everywhere. The water droplets mixing with the paint that stained his face. You didn’t know how he could look more beautiful.

                “Look who’s laughing now.” You teased him. His large hand splashed water at you. You gasped and splashed water back at him. You both eventually stood up still splashing water at each other. You started to try and wade away from him, still laughing. You made it out of the water and kept running.

                “Y/nnnnn!” He whined, you turned around and taunted him. You closed your eyes and stuck your tongue out. Before you knew it, he was dragging you back into the lake. You were yelping and laughing.

                “Jiiiinniee!”

                                                SPLASH

When you opened your eyes, you saw he was right on top of you, “whoops I fell in too.”

                “You schmo!” You laughed, closing your eyes again, and tilted your head back, letting the lake soak your hair.

                “Schmo?!” He grabbed your shoulders and lightly shook you, your giggles escaping you. When you opened your eyes again your hair was partially blocking your view. But once again you were met with his eyes staring back at you with that far off look he had earlier. Jinnie smiled at you like you were a warm cup of coffee on the coldest day of the year. His hand, still dripping with the lake water brushed your hair out of your eyes.

                “Tu es belle (beautiful girl).” Jinnie whispered under his breath.

                “Where did you learn that?” You whispered back, his hand cupped your cheek.

                “Picked up stuff from Gram.” His eyes never left yours, “she wanted me to know how to compliment you, to woo you per say… I intend to do so. Is it working?”

                “Oui.” You grinned at him and tilted your head back again, partially because you didn’t want him to see your flustered face. Your face burned when you felt his soft lips touch your cheek; your breath hitched, and you looked up at him.

                “Was that too much?” He asked his voice wavering slightly, one of his hands still held onto your waist and to the side of your face.

                “It wasn’t enough.” You put your hands on his cheeks and kissed him. He jumped a bit before quickly melting into your touch.

                                                                                                ~+~

                “I think that this piece is better than any of my landscapes.”

You looked at the painting you created which was now hung on his wall, “you helped create it.”

                “The paint splatters really do add to the landscape, don’t they?” Jinnie placed his hands on your waist, “definitely my favorite birthday present, this year.”

                “I’m glad this birthday was good for you.” You grinned up at him and tackled him into a hug. He started laughing.

                “You made it better.” He kissed your forehead.

                “Walk with me to school tomorrow?” You questioned.

                “Mmmm I’d have to check my schedule… I think I only have a rose bush to nurture with a gorgeous girl in the afternoon… Yeah, I can fit you in for a walk in the morning.”

                                                                                                ~+~

The next few weeks were peaceful, you and Jinnie’s routine became a part of your lives. He started to sleep over often, and you would sleep over at his home frequently as well. Your favorite thing to do with him was cook, sometimes he would sway with you while the pasta boiled. He would softly spin you while the bread needed to rise. Jinnie was a dream come true in your world. Your heart never felt so safe with anyone before. Life was simple and you two cherished that. The way he would look at you with love and adoration in his eyes is something you will always cherish.

Now you were painting in the living room of his home, he was picking up groceries so you two could bake together for Gram. You bit the end of the wood on your paintbrush, a sick habit you have developed over time. One Jinnie would giggle at.

                “My intended I’m home!” He called from the door, you quickly hopped up and followed his voice. There he was in all his glory, with his basket overflowing with groceries. You grinned and practically jumped in his arms. Jinnie yelped and then returned your giggles.

                “Miss me?”

                “Always.” You pulled away and led him to his kitchen. You helped him put away groceries and started to set up for the now weekly bread. Gram was very happy about this.

                “Oh, I also picked something up from the back of the market.” Jinnie sprung up and walked back outside, the way he sauntered always made you smile. He made you smile, especially when he came back from outside with this giant box.

                “This guy at the back of the market was selling things, and I noticed on your bookshelf you have a lot of old golden spine books at the top of your shelf.” He spoke excitedly, you honestly forgot about those old children’s books at the top, your main priority now was the old art books. Jinnie set the box on the counter, “the guy I think said that he had no idea if it still works, but! Even if it doesn’t maybe you could take the cases and make a collage.”

You opened up the big box and saw a ton of old VHS tapes, with a player to watch them. You saw old films from the 90s that ranged from The Titanic to old Disney Princess movies. Your eyes lit up, before you left home you had an obsession with movies of any kind. Your obsession slowed down when you moved here.

                “Jinnie what about a TV?” You looked up, questioning him.

He gave you a toothy grin, “when I first bought this house he mentioned a REALLY old TV in the attic. If it doesn’t work, we can just take a trip to the next town over.”

Once again, your eyes lit up, “Jinnie!” You hugged him again and he smiled into your neck.

                “I figured it would be nice to watch movies other than art documentaries in class, not that I don’t love them.” He mumbled, still holding onto you as if you would disappear any minute, “I also picked something else up.” He pulled away from you and pulled something out of his pocket, it was a small gold necklace, with a rose adorned on the front.

                “Jinnie…!” Your breath hitched.

He spun you around and placed the necklace on you, “he was also selling antique jewelry, he discounted it for me. It reminds me of the rosebush that’s now blooming outside of my house. All because of you.”

You turned around and hugged him tightly. Hwang Hyunjin was everything you wanted in a partner...

                “You’re so thoughtful.” You pulled away from him, looking at him with stars, “we can set up the movie night tonight and thank you so much for the necklace! Now! Gram has some bread to be made!”

Jinnie nodded with the same dreamy look and you two started baking up a storm. Gram was very happy seeing you two spend so much time together. You noticed how overtime Jinnie really did pay so close attention to her stories. He loved them, especially the love stories. Part of him didn’t seem real to you. When you two parted ways from Gram she gave you and Jinnie a hug and you two walked back across the street.

                “You seem to pay more attention to me than Gram now.” He teased, opening his door. You huffed as he let you in first.

                “I can’t help it, you’re cute when you’re enthralled in something.” You spun around.

Jinnie chuckled, “I’ll set everything up, do you want to maaaaybe plate some fruit and bread for us pleaaaase.”

                “Didn’t you just have my pumpkin bread at Grams?” Your eyes teased him. Jinnie whined and you quickly gave in. You skipped into the kitchen and started to make a snack, it was getting late and you assumed you were sleeping here so you sidetracked into his room. Looking around you found your set of pajamas that you kept at his home. Then you skipped back into the kitchen and finished plating your guy’s food. From the room you heard him curse slightly, you walked in and set the plates on the coffee table. Squatting by him you softly rubbed his back.

                “Want tea too?”

Jinnie nodded, his brows furrowed. You could tell he was determined to make this movie night work. It was something you really loved about him; he would try. You were never used to men like this growing up. You happily started the kettle and made tea.

                “MY DEAREST INTENDED!” He started running into the kitchen, “I did it! I did it!”

                                                                                                ~+~

                “Are you sure you want to go through the chest?” He asked as you knelt at the foot of your bed, you took a deep breath and nodded.

                “I think it’s time, plus I might’ve stole a couple photo albums, you’ll get to see baby me.”

Jinnie grinned at this and you unlocked the big trunk, it was like how you left it two years ago, almost three. You had an old sweater, joggers, your backpack, laptop, phone, everything.

                “Woah.” Jinnie said and started digging through the trunk of stuff. He was really looking for the small photo albums. You took out your phone and laptop, tossing them aside.

                “I totally forgot I packed this.” You giggled as you picked up a copy of The Shining.

                “Are you a Stephen King fan?” He mumbled, still looking for the photos of your past. You hummed.

                “I was, then I read IT and got weirded out.”

You heard Jinnie laugh, then he pulled out something from your backpack, “a Taylor Swift CD?”

                “I WAS LIKE 19!” You retorted; he started giggling more.

                “I prefer Lana Del Rey, but I can enjoy Taylor Swift.” He teased you, then he finally found what he was looking for. The small old photo albums.

Your body curled up next to him as you pointed out various family members, he listened intently. You thought going through this old trunk was going to be horrible, but with Jinnie, it wasn’t. He asked questions about your family and you happily answered them laughing or with stories that were stored in your memories. You even got reminded of some stuff. If something sparked a story in Jinnie he would tell it to you as well.

                “You’d love my mom.” Jinnie said and giggled at your baby photos.

                “I think my mom would love you, my dad is hard to win over though.”

Jinnie chuckled then looked at you with a serious look, “do you think we will ever see them again? Or even get to meet them?”

                “God, I hope so…” Your voice was quiet. You wanted so badly to introduce Hyunjin to your parents. You know they would love him and be so happy for you. He is everything your parents wanted for you. Respectful, smart, charming, they have always wanted that for you. Now that you have it, you want them so badly to see you this happy. They would be proud of you.

                “I think we will get to meet each other’s families.” Jinnie spoke suddenly. You looked at him.

                “You think?” Now you were fully pulled out of your thoughts.

Jinnie nodded, his hair falling in front of his eyes, which you pushed softly away.

                “I know we will get to. You are my intended after all.”

                                                                                                ~+~

You ended up being right about Mr. W scouting Jinnie for the next exhibit in Paris.

                “Jinnie you have to except it.” You paced back and forth, your feet pittering and pattering on the old wood.

                “Y/n I don’t know. Don’t you think that’ll bring too much attention to me?” You two were currently talking about whether or not he should take it. At this point the semester was nearly over, and that means the Paris trip would be soon. You knelt by him on the couch.

                “You could always do a fake name… Maybe cover your face…” You looked up at him, “Jinnie this is really big for your art.”

He looked conflicted, “if that doesn’t work then what am I going to do? Go back and leave you here? I can’t do that…”

                “You’re worried about having to leave me?” You leaned your head on his knee, he caressed your cheek. His fingers drifted to the necklace he gave you weeks ago. You seemed to only take it off while you bathed. Not that he paid attention to that or anything.

                “Of course, I am, I know I wouldn’t have a choice if I was found out.”

                “Hyunjin…” You stood up and sat next to him, his hair had grown out more and he had the same scared dog look to him again. Just like he did when you first met him.

                “Y/n, I don’t know what I would do, I know I sound crazy and I know it hasn’t been that long, I know I wear my heart on my sleeve and I know I romanticize every little thing, I can’t just- I-“

You put your hand in his, “it’s okay Jinnie. We aren’t at that yet, and that might not even happen.”

He nodded and took a deep breath, “I’ll explain my situation to Mr. W. Tell him my conditions and then we will go from there.”

                Your lips curved into a smile, and you kissed his cheek, “I’m so proud of you, Hyunjin, even if you decide not to go.”

Jinnie looked at you and he looked more relaxed, he squeezed your hand, “I love you so much.”

You had to force your brain to not make your tears flow, “I love you more.”

                “I’ll talk to him tomorrow after class,” he stood up, “I want you to come with me if I go to Paris.”

Jinnie pulled you with him, your body crashed into his and he held you.

                “You do?” Your eyes loved the sight of him.

                “I do.” He lifted both of your hands on his shoulders and put his on your waist, “I know you have work but-“

                “I want to go with you, I want to support you. I’d go anywhere with you.”

Jinnie smiled warmly at you, “I’ll have to hold you to that.”

                “You still have to sing to me.” Your eyes playfully narrowed at him, he huffed and swayed you two.

                “I sing to you all the time, it’s not my fault you’re always already asleep.” He gave you a funny look back. You pretended to be offended.

                “No fair! Sing me to sleep tonight!” You said, he giggled and spun you. You ended up crashing into him.

                “Say please my intended.”

You looked up at him, “please sing me to sleep tonight.”

Jinnie kissed you softly, you kissed him back and whined a bit when he pulled away, “as you wish.”

                                                                                ~+~

The next morning on the walk to school Jinnie really took in his surroundings like it would be the last time to. It really scared you. He wouldn’t get out of bed until you two absolutely had to. He wouldn’t let go of you while you cooked breakfast, and he wanted you to stay in the kitchen when he prepped your guys’ lunch.

                “Jinnie are you okay?” You noticed how he really was looking at the sunrise on the hill. He looked at you and sighed.

                “I’m just preparing for the worst.”

You were worried about him, “Jinnie, I know what I said but if you really don’t want to do this-“

                “My love, I’ve always wanted to have my art in an exhibit, and- and you’re right. I need to at least try. Maybe he won’t even care that I want to go by another name. That’s pretty normal for artists.”

                “That is true…” You nodded and mumbled, “but what if he looks up your legal name?”

                “I don’t think he will.” Jinnie said, “at least I really hope not.”

When you two finally made it to school you noticed how he didn’t let go of your hand. Usually he would, you both decided to only tell Gram about your relationship.

                “It’ll be okay Hyunjin…” You said to him, he nodded and walked into class first, finally letting go. You quickly followed after him. The whole time you could tell he wasn’t paying attention, his leg would bounce, and his brush would shake before it hit the canvas. It really hurt your heart to see him like this. You didn’t know what to do about this. He wanted this but his past life was still holding him hostage. No matter what though, you were determined to be there for him.

Chapter 4: Broken Trust

After class you waited for Jinnie to stop talking to Mr. W, you picked at your fingernails trying to calm yourself down. Seeing how nervous he was made you feel like throwing up. Taking a deep breath, you leaned your head back against the wall.

                “It’ll be okay…” You mumbled to yourself. Your eyes closed and you tried to calm yourself down. Part of you knew Jinnie had to go back at some point, even you had to go back at some point. You just hope that maybe it would be you two together going back and facing what you both left. You should really call your parents soon… Your eyes shot open, and you stood up when the door opened. Jinnie smiled at Mr. W and wished him a good day. Then he turned to you.

                “He is totally okay with it.” Jinnie beamed at you and hugged you tightly, “I really want you to come with me.”

Your giggles started when you felt his hair tickle your face, “I will be there.”

                                                                                                ~+~

                “I want to call my parents.” You said to him a couple days later. He looked up from his plate with wide eyes.

                “Are you sure?” Jinnie asked, his mouth full, eyes still wide.

You swallowed hard and nodded, “I’m sure. I think they need to know that I’m okay, all I left them was a note saying I’d be back soon. I feel guilty about it.”

Jinnie nodded, “do you want me to be next to you when you call?”

                “Please. I know it’s sort of a lot to ask but- “

He grabbed your hand from across the table, “nothing is too much for you to ask of me.”

Your nerves calmed and you nodded, “thank you Jinnie.”

                “You’re most welcome, my intended.”

After dinner you two sat on the floor, your landline phone and your actual cell phone next to each other. The plan was, if the landline didn’t get an answer, then it was a last resort to turn on your old cell phone and call.

                “Are you nervous?” Jinnie asked as he sat cross-legged in front of you. Your shoulders shrugged.

                “What if they get mad at me? What if they hate me for leaving?”

Hyunjin took a deep breath, “did they know what was going on?”

You nodded softly, “my dad even went to the court room, he stayed outside but he knew what was going on.”

                “I don’t think they will be mad.” Hyunjin lightly pushed the phone towards you. You took a deep breath and started to dial. Your hands shook and Hyunjin held your free hand.

                Brrrr brrrr brr- click

                “Hello?” It was your dad’s voice, you felt that feeling in your throat. You were choked up. You froze. Hyunjin mustve sensed this because he tried to get you back to reality asap.

                “Dad?” You said quickly, thankful Hyunjin snapped you out of it.

                “If this is some joke, I don’t think this is very fucking funny.” Your father’s voice was stern, just as you remembered it.

                “No-No it’s me. Y/n L/n, it’s me, your kid, the one who used to eat the dead flies off the bay window.” You spoke quickly, you saw Jinnie give you a funny look. He was trying to not laugh or make fun of you in this moment.

                “Y/N!” Your dad sounded relieved to hear your voice, “I-I’m so glad you’re okay… We didn’t know when you were going to come back, and you never answered any calls.”

                “I know… I’m really sorry, I was stupid and thought everything was going to be safer if I left.” You spoke softly.

Your dad let out a sigh, “Kiddo, your heart was in the right place… Home is safe now, we moved, and the door is always open for you.”

Your eyes started to water, “you guys moved?”

                “Yeah, a couple months after you left, we figured you left because of the situation, some people were saying that he finally- I don’t even want to get into it.” There was a pain in his voice.

                “I’m so sorry. I feel like it was my fault, I still feel like if I didn’t- “

Your dad interrupted you, “Y/n. Nothing was your fault.”

The tears fell and you covered your mouth, choking on a sob, you heard your dad tell you to breathe. Something that when you were a teenager, he had to tell you quite often. You were almost an exact copy of him, he knew how bad it could get. You missed this familiarity.

                “I’m sorry.” You repeated.

                “It’s okay, I promise. I will give you our new address, visit whenever you want. Please call whenever you want. I know you probably don’t want to disclose where you are and that’s okay. I’m just so happy you aren’t dead.”

Your father gave you the new address and you wrote it down. After catching up a bit, the call ended. Jinnie stayed by your side the entire time, he read his book and held your hand. When the call was finished, he softly set the book down.

                “How do you feel?”

You tackled him in a hug on the couch, “I’m so happy Hyunjin!”

                                                                                                ~+~

                “Okay Y/n is everything packed?” Jinnie asked, you nodded. After you called your dad, Jinnie figured going on a nice weekend trip would help with the heaviness of the past couple weeks. He didn’t tell you where you guys were going, but you trusted him with everything.

                “Can you pleaaase tell me?” You asked as you two walked to the town for the millionth time. He started to pack your bags in the rental car.

                “No, it’s a surprise.” He evilly giggled. You whined.

                “Can you give me a hint?” You leaned against the car.

Jinnie looked at you with his hand on his hip, “no.”

                “Have I been there before?”

He rolled his eyes and pecked your lips, “I really hope not.” He closed the trunk and you two started your drive.

                “I haven’t been in a car in forever.” You mumbled looking around the interior. Jinnie laughed a little and kept his eyes on the road.

                “Don’t get carsick, it’s sort of a long ride.”

You hummed and nodded, “Jinnie?”

                “Yes, my intended?”

                “Are you excited for the Paris exhibit?”

Your eyes watched as his toothy grin formed, “yes Y/n I’m ecstatic.”

                “Good!” You smiled, matching his grin.

As the car ride carried on, you started to doze off. Jinnie said it was okay if you fell asleep, so you let yourself doze off. When you woke, you were still driving, so you fell asleep again.

                “I have to get gas; do you have to use the restroom or anything?” He shook you softly awake. You stirred and looked at him sleepily. His smile at you warmed. He looked at you as if you were a warm blanket after a long day outside during the coldest of winters.

                “Mmm I’m hungry…” You mumbled and took off your seatbelt.

                “Okay let me gas up and I will go in with you.”

You nodded and waited for him, after he fed the car, he parked in the lot and opened your door for you. Your hand found his and you two walked to the little convenience store. When your eyes landed on all the snacks and things they practically sparkled. You hadn’t seen stuff like this for years.

                “Jinnie! Look!” You pulled him to the sunglasses. You grabbed a pair and put one on, “do these look nice?”

                “Hmmmm, try these ones.” He said and switched them out. You giggled as he put them on your face, after adjusting them and looking into the mirror you nodded. They were circular and red, very old fashioned.

                “I like these!”

Jinnie helped you to get some snacks and he paid for them, much to your dismay. Before you knew it, you two were on the road again.

                “We are almost there I promise, I know we have been driving for a few hours…” Jinnie mumbled and glanced at you. You sat there munching on some snacks in your new sunglasses.

                “Okay Jinnie.” You smiled and took another bite.

He wasn’t wrong, you two were almost there, at some point when the mountain road cleared your eyes met the blue ocean.

                “Oh my god!” You practically jumped out of your seat.

                “Nice way to kick off the summer?” He asked.

You turned to him, your hair a mess, sunglasses slanted, clothes disheveled, “YES!”

Jinnie smiled and started toward the small home he rented for the weekend. It was a walk from the beach and right when he stopped the car you started running toward the water. You craved the warm sand on your toes and the cold water on your skin. Your feet didn’t stop until you jumped into the water, clothes and all. You saw Jinnie laughing and jogging after you. He always looked like a dream, someone so perfect could only be in your imagination. Yet… Here he was. He wasn’t imaginary, he was just perfect in your eyes.

                “This is amazing!” You laughed and waved your new shades back and forth. Jinnie stood by the water letting it hit his feet. You noticed how he was taking it all in as well.

                “I know we have to take a trip to Paris next week, but I thought that this would be a nice way to relax before things get busy again.”

You jumped out of the water and hugged him, getting him, all soaked from the ocean.

                “Ah!” He jumped and tried to get out of your grip.

                “Jiiiiinnnnie!” You whined and looked up at him, his eyes softened, and he kissed you. Perfect, you caught him off guard and you threw both of your bodies into the water. Just like back at home in the lake, where he kissed you the first time. His laughter rang through your ears, you didn’t think you would ever get tired of hearing his laughter. Jinnie’s crazy, loud, stupid laughter. It could make symphonies jealous.

                                                                                                ~+~

You two laid in bed with the balcony doors open. The moon shone in, illuminated the room in a pale blue. Almost like the room’s saturation was turned down. The ocean waves could be heard, sometimes the breeze would move the curtains. You laid there playing with his hair, you took in every mole and every imperfection. To you though, the imperfections is what made him human. It’s what made him your intended, just as you were his.

                “I need to get it cut before the exhibit.” He mumbled into your arm.

                “My boss at the bookstore used to trim mine.” You whispered. Hyunjin nodded.

He slowly opened his eyes; he was so beautiful inside and out. Yeah, sometimes he was a little odd, memories flashed in your head. Sometimes he would chase the birds on the way home from class, other times you noticed he just wanted to watch movies to cry. Hyunjin was one of a kind in your eyes, he was caring and compassionate. No other person compared to his kindness. No other person compared to his uniqueness in general.

                “Do you know why I call you my intended?” He asked and his hand found its way to your cheek. Your mouth curved slightly.

                “Why is that?”

                “I intend to stay with you. No matter what.” He softly kissed your cheek.

Your breath hitched, “you think I’m worth that?”

                “You’re worth more than anything, that’s why I spoil you so. You deserve it, you deserve everything. I want to be the one to give you that happy ending.” Hyunjin pulled away from you, eyes locking, “you have made this the best few months I have had in a while. You gave me hope that my childish fantasies of love were true. I am so glad I found that my hopes are within you.”

                “I want a happy ending with you.” You breathed, he smiled at you.

                “What kind of ending?”

You leaned on your back now, “I dunno, maybe one where we are all old and sometimes gross,” you heard him laugh before you continued, “maybe have a nicer home somewhere else, one where we own it together.” You turned to him, “maybe even get a dog or cat. No birds though, you’d chase it away.”

You felt his lips on yours, “it sounds perfect.”

                “What about…?” You looked at him.

                “Hmm?” Hyunjin asked, shuffling under the blankets.

                “What about your family?”

Hyunjin’s face fell a bit before going back to a lovestruck look, “I will have to go home at some point, but I will always come back to you. I promise.” He kissed your hand.

                “I love you, Hyunjin.”

                “I love you most, my intended.”

                                                                                ~+~

On the car ride home, you felt yourself getting really carsick, like REALLY carsick. The previous day you two ate at some seafood place and it was not agreeing with your stomach. In the morning you threw up the fish and Jinnie had to watch over you. He made jokes with made you laugh. It wasn’t all bad. You learned that even if he got grossed out, he would still be there.

You two stopped at the gas station once more and this time he bought a matching pair of sunglasses, just to make you smile. Everything felt too good to be true. When you two got home, it felt right to be home with him. Everything felt so perfect with him. He led you to your room and straight to your bathroom. You had to bathe after that long car ride. Jinnie helped you wash up and it was the most vulnerable you have ever been around another human. It opened your world to what you were missing. After what happened you tended to close your world heavily. You didn’t want to love when you didn’t know what love even was. Now you do.

                “My intended, I am going to grab some clean clothes from my house. Lay down here, do you need anything while I am away?” He set you down by the bed, your wet hair soaking the pillow.

                “I’m okay.” You smiled up at him, he looked down at you, eyes full of adoration. Jinnie nodded and headed out of the door. You started to fade in and out of consciousness. The drive and the food poisoning were really hitting you. You were tired, exhausted even.

At some point, you faded awake and you felt Hyunjin lay next to you, he held you tighter than usual. Your neck felt wet, but you just assumed that he showered or something. Your body just turned more into him, you let him hold you. His breathing was staggered and you would have asked if he was okay, if your own body wasn’t on shut down.

                “I love you so much, please know that.”

~*~

The next morning you woke up feeling so much better. The sickness was out of your system, you could hear the birds in the morning. The light shown in your curtains, it felt perfect. You got up thinking Jinnie was making breakfast, skipping in the kitchen you noticed that there was a plate of food. But no Jinnie. Your brows furrowed and you looked at the scene in front of you. The plate of seasoned potatoes and eggs, his sketchbook, and a note.             

                           Y/n, I don’t even know how to start this, I guess I should just explain when I got back to my house to pick up my clothes one of my old friends was there, he started bawling and hugging me when he finally saw me again he started saying how they looked for me everywhere, even though they weren’t technically allowed to, he said that Mr. W ratted me out to JYP. That is the company I am signed to. He ratted me out Y/n, and they came to pick me up. Apparently, I am allowed to work again. They paid Mr. W handsomely to give them My location, and he did.

Your eyes started to well up, you knew he was too good to be true. You took a deep breath and continued to read.

                               I didn’t want to leave; I told my friend I didn’t. But when I was about to walk out toward your house, the rest of my friends were there too. Some of the strongest people I know were crying when they saw me. People who usually don’t hug me, hugged me. I wanted to wake you up. Take you with me, I wanted you to always be in my world. But I was vetoed quickly. I am so sorry that I have to leave like this. When things settle down I promise I will come back for you. I always will. I am leaving you with my sketchbook. I promise Y/n, I promise you my Intended. I will be back. I am so very much in love with you.

-Your Intended forever, Jinnie.

Originally, you felt sad. Now a wave of anger washed over you. You put on your shoes and ran out, it was Monday, you were supposed to leave for France with Jinnie today. That wasn’t going to happen because of someone whom you looked up to. And for what? Money.

Your feet led you to the school, anger was an understatement. You slammed open the school door and stormed into the classroom. Mr. W stood there, looking at you with a shocked expression. He clearly wasn’t expecting you so early.

                “What is wrong with you!?” You yelled.

                “His friends were looking for him Y/n.” Your mentor said simply, “I did the right thing.”

                “You did the right thing for MONEY!” Your voice still raised, “I am going to the exhibit fucking alone, I am taking his work WITH me.” You started grabbing all of Hyunjin’s canvases.

                “Hyunjin was going to go back eventually when he HEALED, you sold him out because of your own selfish wants and needs.” You spoke with a lace of venom in your tone.

Mr. W scoffed, “again Y/n he was going to go back eventually, they needed to know where he was, I just delivered. And how on Earth are you going to do this without me? I taught you everything you know. You are supposed to take my position here.” You did not like when men talked to you like this.

                “I went to the exhibit last year, and I think if I explained how you sold out the artist picked this year, they will fucking understand why you aren’t there to join me. Find another apprentice, I am leaving.”

And that you did, you meant what you said. The driver that was going to take you to Paris showed up, Mr. W didn’t meet you at your home like he was supposed to. He was a rat, a selfish waste of space. The driver helped you with Hyunjin’s work and your own work. You might as well try and turn this situation positive. The whole drive there was awkward.

The whole exhibit felt wrong.

It felt like something was missing.

He was missing.

                                                                                                ~*~

Only one good thing came out of it, people liked yours and his work, many people asked to sell his work to them. You declined but sold all your own work. You sold all your possessions through the bookstore manager back at that small French town. You erased your existence there. You settled down in a small abode in the city. In the heart of Paris, you resided. Mr. W got a bad reputation at that school, the poetry teacher told you. She hunted you down after you left. She would give you updates on what was happening. Until eventually she would stop calling. That was the last connection cut from that little French town.

Slowly, your own art got more recognition. A year had passed, and you got popular in the art scene. You could afford more, as much praise as you were getting, you still felt so very empty. Most nights you found yourself looking up above the mantle, your favorite piece. It was priceless to you, your favorite landscape.

You sat on the couch mentally preparing for your next meeting, it was going to discuss the next exhibit location. Taking a deep breath, you leaned back. You finally made a name for yourself but at what cost. It wasn’t even your fault. The world you learned was littered with selfish people. The more meetings, the more people, the more people, the more your optimistic mindset declined. There was never a day that went by where you didn’t miss Hyunjin immensely. You researched him behind the scenes, you kept an eye on him. When he posted on their Instagram that he purchased one of your works, you bawled for days.

Taking another breath you stood up, he knew where to find you, yet he hasn’t. That isn’t on you. Grabbing your things you headed down to the lobby of your apartment. You sat in a boring meeting until someone rushed in, it wasn’t so mindless anymore.

                “I am so sorry, someone literally stole my bike and I had to rush here.” The man was very tall, hair a mess now. His clothing was impeccable. He had a warm drink in his hand, his glasses almost falling off his nose. He quickly walked to his seat, which was next to you.

When the meeting went on you started to get curious of the man next to you. He was attractive, no lie. Your stubborn heart wasn’t going to pine after him though. When the meeting ended and the location of your exhibit was chosen you quickly walked out.

                “Wait!”

You flipped around and saw the man goofily run up to you, “yes…?”

                “I wanted to introduce myself, I absolutely love your work and it took a lot of digging to even get into that meeting.” He fixed his glasses.

                “Oh.” You said simply. The grown man nodded and stuck his hand out.

                “I am Kim Namjoon.”

You smiled and shook his hand, “Y/n.”

You two started to walk together, “so that’s your real name?” He sparked conversation with your closed off demeaner so easily.

                “Yes, you didn’t think my name was actually ‘intended’ did you?” You asked, adjusting your coat. It was cold in the spring, although summer was coming quickly. You could just tell.

Namjoon let out a laugh, another unique laugh. You felt yourself smile softly to yourself.

                “Well, I wasn’t sure. Sometimes people have distinctive names.” He spoke with a tone that was so interesting to you. This Namjoon was an interesting individual.

                “I think your name is nice, I’ve never heard it before.” You spoke. Your bag swung a bit, you looked up at him. Namjoon’s brows furrowed.

                “You haven’t?” He asked.

                “I mean, it could be familiar, but I don’t know. Should I know it?” Your voice was teasing. The banter made Namjoon smile.

                “Well, I was just. I was just in a music industry so it threw me off slightly.” He said quieting his voice.

                “Oh?” You asked.

                “Yeah, I was in a k-pop group. Sometimes I still make music, but the group is only sometimes now. I don’t mind, the space from all of that lets me enjoy other forms of art.”

Your heart got reminded of what it was stolen of.

                “That’s good that you are growing every day.” You said, your tone was cold. A total 180, Namjoon didn’t seem to notice though. As he walked you to your apartment he asked about your work, about you, he made sure you were comfortable.

You ended up letting him in your apartment.

                “So, you were in a k-pop group?” You were curious, “was the company bad in any way?”

Namjoon’s brows furrowed, confused by your question. Also confused by your sudden interest in that part of his life.

                “Well, when I first started yeah it was rough. But then we just started controlling our own little section of the company. So, I am now in charge of what I do.” He spoke, sipping the tea you made for him.

                “Ah…” You sat down at the table with him, you looked out the window at the city. This window of the house barely showed the Eiffel Tower.

                “You are different then how I expected you to be.” Namjoon spoke. You perked up.

                “What is that supposed to mean?”

He let out a laugh, “its not a bad thing, with how dark your work is, part of me expected a very tortured very damaged person. However, looking at you now, I can still see you have a little spark in your eyes.”

Your eyes softened, you really thought that spark was gone from your soul. But if a complete stranger saw it, maybe the spark wasn’t died out completely.

                “You can?” Your voice softened, you didn’t want to cave so easily. However, you felt your walls starting to crumble. When you moved to Paris and started to get popular you were telling men and women left and right to fuck off if they wanted to court you. It was even worse if they TRIED to court you. But Namjoon, he seemed sincere. Your heart dropped when you saw your piece above the mantle. You caved in on yourself. Namjoon picked up on this.

                “Was that too much? I’m sorry.” He quickly apologized, you rapidly shook your head no.

                “it’s just been a while since I have sat down with someone like this.” You took a sip of your own tea, “it isn’t bad. Its just something different for me.”

Namjoon nodded, “I am in Paris for about a week, I was actually planning on going to your exhibit because either way I wanted to meet you, but I am ranting, anyways, if you would like to do this more, like sit down and talk.”

You looked up at him and smiled, “I would like that.”

                He was a little awkward, but maybe he was charming you slightly.

                                                                                                ~*~

You two ended up exchanging numbers after he had tea with you that one day, a couple days passed and you two decided to go to a local restaurant down the road. He was going to meet you at your apartment, and you would buzz him up. You put on your makeup and got dressed, back in the small town your clothing was lighter colors. Now you noticed it was all black and navy blue. Dark maroons sometimes littered your wardrobe as well. As you got changed you didn’t see the text reading that Namjoon couldn’t make it today. When your door buzzed you let whoever was here, up. When there was a knock at the door you rushed over, your long black dress flowing as much as it could with your long cardigan over it. You slipped your heels on and opened the door.

                “Jinnie- “

Chapter 5: I’m Sorry, I’m Late

“Jinnie-“your voice got caught in your throat. There he was, in front of you. His hair was different, but the curves of his face and his moles were exactly where you remembered him. You tried to draw him many times over the past year; you could never perfect him.

                “I’m sorry, I’m late.” He spoke, his voice was just as you remembered it. God…

In a shock to yourself your face contorted, “late for what Hyunjin.” Your cold voice stunned you.

                “I had a feeling you would be upset with me.” His voice was calm, he looked somewhat different, his hair was blond and long. It was a total 180 from the short choppy dark hair of Jinnie.

                “Can I come in?” he asked softly. You took a deep breath and stepped aside. He walked in, his clothes were different too. More chic, he looked expensive.

You walked over to your phone to see that Namjoon asked to reschedule, what rotten timing.

                “You still have our piece we made together, over the mantel.” He noted. Your heart wanted to be so mad at him. You were livid, he had left for a year, no words, no letters, nothing. Hyunjin just watched you from afar as you did him. It’s not like you had any way to contact him. He could’ve easily contacted you, but he didn’t.

                “Why are you here?” You asked trying to sound stern, it wasn’t real though. When it came to him your heart was on your sleeve. Your cold tortured artist façade now crumbled completely; it always did when your heart missed him.

                “I’m here for your exhibit.” He turned around and looked at you, now leaning on the arm of the couch, “your home is nice.”

                “My exhibit isn’t until a few days.” Your voice once again slightly quivering. You felt your posture stiffen.

                “I know that.” Hyunjin walked toward you, your eyes weren’t on him, but you could hear his shoes. His now expensive, shiny, pointy, stupidly classy shoes.

You finally gained enough courage to look at him, his brown eyes looking straight into you. The rolls were reversed now, your heart was the scared dog.

                “I said I was late because I heard from the grape vine about Namjoon visiting for your exhibit.”

Your eyes widened, how? It was one day…

                “My friend is friends with Namjoon’s friend. He apparently talks nonstop about you and your work. When Chris, my friend, told me, I came here as soon as possible.” He went to grab your hand and you pushed it away.

                “So, you only came here when you found out someone who has an interest in me was now getting to see me?” Obviously, this hurt you. It felt selfish and that wasn’t the Jinnie you knew.

                “Y/n you know I don’t mean it like that…” Hyunjin’s voice was pained. It broke you a little more knowing it was because of your own words. You walked past him, and you heard his footsteps following you. Whipping around you poked his chest.

                “You didn’t even reach out to me! You bought one of my works second hand! You knew exactly where to find me!” Your voice raised, “I waited for you!”

                “I know you did, and I am so sorry, I got caught up in so many schedules. And it was a lot. My parents missed me, and I missed my friends and the next thing I knew- “

                “And then you have the absolute AUDACITY to come to my home when I just started getting over you!” You backed him to the edge of the couch again.

Hyunjin looked at you with wide eyes, then they trailed down to your neck, “are you sure about that?” His voice was just above a whisper. Your brows furrowed and your hand came up to touch what his eyes were glued to.

                It was the necklace he gave you, in your defense you never take it off. It just became apart of you, just like he did.

                “Don’t think I didn’t notice my works wrapped up under the couch either.” He wasn’t walking on eggshells anymore, he was stomping. Your eye twitched.

                “What do you even want to get out of this Hyunjin!?” You didn’t look at him.

You felt his warm hand softly grab yours, he was back on eggshells again, his grip was as if you were blown glass.

                “I want you just as I always have.”

That was it, there was absolutely no getting over him. Any progress you made in the past year was gone. You looked away from him.

                “Please… Look at me…” He was trying not to cry, “say anything please.”

                “Not even a text? Or a letter?” Your voice broke, the floodgates had opened wetting your face.

Hyunjin wiped your tears as quickly as they leaked out of his favorite pair of eyes, “I tried, I didn’t know what to say. I will admit I am being impulsive and stupid. I shouldn’t have dropped everything the second I heard Namjoon was going to be at your meeting.”

Your brows furrowed again, and you looked up at him, “you dropped everything?”

                “Yes, in a heartbeat, the second Chris told me I booked a plane ticket without telling anyone. I was scared and I couldn’t- I couldn’t let you- “

The anger was back, and you pushed his hands off his face, “you couldn’t let me get over you!?” You turned your back to him and hugged yourself.

                “I couldn’t let someone else have you! Y/n, I messed up so badly. I know I did, I hurt you and left you with a stupid note and I didn’t even think about how much it would hurt you in the morning. I was overwhelmed. I should have visited you right when I knew you were here.” Hyunjin was desperately trying to get you to hear him out. Your heart was in a war between loving him and hating him.

Hating him was fueled by how much you were in love with him.

                “You have until my exhibit, to fix this. To prove to me that you won’t just leave again with a stupid note.” You turned around and his eyes filled with hope. The same hope before yours and his relationship was tainted.

You ended up having to let Hyunjin stay in your guest room, he didn’t book any kind of hotel or anything. He truly just bought a ticket to France, to you. The rest of that day was spent with him walking around your home and taking what you presumed to be mental notes.

Your outing with Namjoon was going to get rescheduled at your exhibit. At this point, your childish heart wanted the entire Earth to stop so you wouldn’t have to be with anyone but Hyunjin. But the adult brain in you told you that Hyunjin needed to prove that he wouldn’t just leave again.

~*~

The next morning you woke up and flipped over, totally forgetting yesterday’s events. When you heard music playing from your living room you got scared. You sprung up and rushed in, no one was in the living room. It was BRIGHT too, usually you have the curtains closed.

When you entered the kitchen, there he was. You weren’t dreaming.

                “Oh, did I wake you?” He turned around, his beautiful face more visible to you now. You mentally thanked the headband he had on.

                “No, I just-“ you didn’t know what to say.

                “I opened your curtains in the living room and in here, you have beautiful views of the city.” Hyunjin smiled at you and set a plate down at your small table, meant for two.

                “You made breakfast?” You asked, eyeing the plate. Your eyes then went up to him, he looked tired, he was still in his pajamas. Hyunjin nodded.

                “I am really jetlagged, so it was hard sleeping. I woke up really early and so I made breakfast.” Even through his drowsiness he smiled for you. You mumbled a thank you and sat down. You saw that he made a really good-looking fruit bowl with oatmeal.

                “I have hard boiled eggs in the fridge too. All picked up this morning. I didn’t want to use your food without permission.” He said and set down spoons and forks for you both.

                “You could have… It’s okay…” Your voice was quiet.

                “Do you have any plans today?” Hyunjin asked you. You took a bite of the fruit in the fruit bowl. He even picked the best fruit for you. You shook your head no.

                “Would you want to take a walk with me today? I was thinking about getting ice cream or a genuine French Crepe.” He took a sip of his tea.

                “Aren’t you worried about being recognized with me? Don’t you have fans?” You took a sip of your tea now.

                “Well, don’t you have fans now?” He slyly smiled at you, “I’ve heard some rumors about you.”

You gave him a look, “what do you mean?”

Hyunjin did one of his eye smiles and giggles, “you know at first, I was a little jealous when I heard that everyone in the art scene wanted to court you.” He sipped his tea and wiggled his eyebrows. You couldn’t help the little laugh that escaped you.

                “Not everyone.” You looked away, “they stopped after a bit.”

Hyunjin set his glass down which got your attention again, “ah of course they did, you gained the reputation of being unobtainable.”

                “Is that what they call me now?” You asked, now taking a spoonful of oatmeal.

                “Maybe, I wouldn’t call you that though.”

                “Confident, are we?” You asked him.

The man in front of you looked at you, a small huff of a laugh coming out of his nose, “maybe.”

~*~

He held the umbrella for you both as you walked down the busy street with him. A scene your heart never thought would come true.

                “Your clothes are darker colors now.” He noted, “they look nice on you.”

You nodded, “thank you, your hair doesn’t look choppy anymore.”

Hyunjin threw his head back and laughed, he almost hit you with the umbrella, “I got scolded and forced to get a haircut, they don’t let me touch it now.”

                “Your work?” You questioned. Hyunjin let out a hum of a yes. You frowned, “doesn’t it bother you…? Being put in a box like that?”

                “Oh, every day, but it’s worth it when I am on stage, dancing, singing, I missed it truly. I got my spark back.” He spoke with stars in his eyes.

                “Well, that’s good then. I am glad your trip helped you appreciate what you have.” You said and pushed your dark sunglasses up again.

                “My return though made me miss dearly what I gained on that trip.” Hyunjin said in a hushed voice, near your ear.

You looked at him, as much as you wanted to fight it, your heart belonged to him. It wasn’t time yet though; your mind was still scared.

                “The café is up there.” Hyunjin broke eye contact with you then led you to the café.

He ended up ordering for you in French, he spoke with confidence. It was a change from the markets in that oh so small town. You both sat outside after he paid.

                “I studied French on my free time when I got back.” Hyunjin spoke and took a bite of his sweet treat.

                “I was wondering how you spoke so confidently.” You sipped your hot coffee; you also picked a strawberry off your plate.

                “It made me think of you.” He spoke and gave you that stupid eye smile. It was almost torture.

You looked away biting back a smile, he was too charming for his own good. The little things he did were too much. It made your heart win the war over your brain.

                “Was the bed warm? In my guest room?” You questioned.

Hyunjin nodded, still smiling at you. He seemed thrilled to just be around you, “mhm!”

                “That’s… That’s actually a relief, I don’t usually have overnight guests.” Your lips curved into a smile. You looked up at him and his head was turned in question.

                “What?” You asked.

                “You don’t have guests?”

You shook your head no, “I don’t have people over like at all. One time my mom visited but that was a few months ago.”

                “You don’t get lonely?”

Your mind filled with memories of you sipping wine by yourself, letting a couple tears slip while the fire was the only thing that warmed your body. Quickly you snapped out of it.

                “No.” Your answer was short, “I did that before didn’t I?” Correction, you did that before you met Hyunjin. Then he opened your world only to leave you on the dark side of the moon.

                “Well, I just thought because your art style changed dramatically. The colors you used were always dark, dark reds, blues, blacks, greys. No more yellow or lavender.” He said simply.

                “Do you study my work?”

Hyunjin smiled again at you, with a knowing look, then he shrugged, “finish your coffee its going to get cold.”

                                                                                                ~*~

The next day he made you breakfast again, this time it was muffins and fruit. He even cut the fruit into little shapes; you know that he specially hand cut each shape due to the fact you didn’t own any kind of food cutters.

                “Good morning!” Hyunjin said cheerfully.

                “Did you rest well?” You asked sitting down, Hyunjin nodded.

                “I slept a lot better than last night; I usually get over jet lag pretty quickly so.” He set your food down and sat down next to you, “I also made peppermint tea this morning.”

                “Thank you…” You felt your face warm and the small butterflies erupted from your chest to your heart.

                “So today, are you busy with anything?” Hyunjin asked, you took a bite of your muffin. It was pumpkin.

                “Did you make these?” You looked at him, it tasted exactly like your pumpkin bread. Hyunjin nodded with a grin.

                “We made it so much that when I had free time, I wrote down the recipe. I used to make it in my dorm whenever I missed you. Let’s just say I gave my friend who actually bakes a run for his money.” He giggled and took a bite of his muffin.

                “That’s… Really sweet of you…” You spoke quietly, you saw Hyunjin smile warmly to himself. Part of you knew he truly does love you as much as you still love him. Your mind was starting to forgive him. Your mind then went to his original question.

                “I only have a small meeting today for the food being served at my exhibit.” You ate some fruit.

                “May I come with you?” Hyunjin asked. Your mind fought it and thought it over. Your heart once again won.

                “I think your insight will help.” Your words came off warm. You saw Hyunjin’s eyes widen a bit at your kind tone, then he smiled.

~*~

Once more he held your umbrella as you two walked, today it was actually raining so you actually needed the covering.

                “I don’t think it will rain the day of your exhibit.” Hyunjin’s feet slapped against the stone streets of Paris.

                “You looked up the weather?” Your eyes looked up at him. Part of him was offended and you can tell.

                “Can you please stop being so surprised that I do the bare minimum?” He looked down at you, he didn’t want to start an argument. As he was a man who preferred to communicate and say his emotions. He could never hold in how he was feeling, and you remembered that. One time you two had a small argument in the small town, he just said how he was feeling.

                “I’m sorry I am just trying to- I don’t even know. You’re right I need to have more faith in you.” You didn’t look at him anymore, “It’s really wrong of me to assume that you are going to do the worse.” You swallowed, you didn’t want to cry. But he was right. Hyunjin sighed and pulled you to the side of the sidewalk, under an awning. The rain was starting to get loud.

                “Y/n you have every right to be cautious of me. I understand what I did and I shouldn’t have just-“

                “Hyunjin…” You looked up at him, “you are right, I need to be more open minded, you were never wrong to me in that small town and you didn’t have a choice to leave. You said so in your note.” You dug through your purse and grabbed your wallet.

                “What’re you…?”

You kept digging until you pulled out his note, the one he left you at your small cottage, “you said yourself you wanted to take me with you, but you were shot down.”

                “You keep it with you…?”

Your eyes looked away from him and to the note that was in your hands, “yes I keep it with me…”

Hyunjin’s hand touched yours and he took a deep breath, “I’m still so sorry.”

                “It’s okay… Again, I know you didn’t have a choice, and I know you were so busy with your life and I started to become busy too and our lives just got so complicated… I need to stop being so cold to you…” Your voice was shaky, and you took a deep breath.”

                “Hey… It’s okay…” Hyunjin’s hand slowly and cautiously went to your cheek. You looked up at him, he smiled at you, “hi.”

Your heart loved the view in front of you and so did your mind, “hi.”

                “Let’s get to the meeting, okay? We don’t want to be late.”

That’s what you two did, you made it in one piece even in the rain. The meeting consisted of different cheese and wine tastings. Hyunjin would giggle at you everytime your face scrunched from the strong wine flavor and you would laugh at him when the cheese he ate tasted bad.

                “You said this one tasted good!” Hyunjin pouted while you were giggling evilly.

                “I thought it tasted great… Maybe your taste buds are broken.” You said smugly.

Hyunjin’s jaw dropped and he looked stunned, “MY taste buds!? You like bad cheese apparently!” He said loudly. You had to quiet him down while laughing. You two got a little tipsy while trying all the wine, you were nowhere near drunk, but you could feel a little buzz. You and Hyunjin were just constantly laughing at everything. In your heart you felt that this was perfect, you could live every day with him if you could. Before you two headed out you both made sure to drink water and have a couple slices of bread. Much to Hyunjin’s excitement.

When you two decided on the little snacks and drinks for your exhibit you two started your walk home, together. The buzz was starting to wear off which was good. Being publicly intoxicated could ruin both your public image, as if being alone together wasn’t enough to stir controversy. That fear wasn’t on either of your minds though, at least not at the moment. You and Hyunjin were both drunk on each other’s company.

                “I cannot believe you made me try that gross cheese!” Hyunjin said as you two walked on the sidewalk. The rain started to clear up, so he didn’t bother opening the umbrella.

                “You tried to get me drunk!” You joked back, Hyunjin dramatically gasped.

                “I would never! You drank the same amount as me!” He placed his hand over his heart. You let out a laugh and through your head back. You missed this so much, you missed him so much. You and Hyunjin exchanged glances at each other as you two walked and talked.

                “You know I wonder how our neighbor is…” You thought to yourself.

                “Gram?” Hyunjin asked and cocked his head to the side.

You nodded and messed with the rings on your fingers, “I still feel guilty for just leaving and selling everything.”

                “I am sure she would understand, maybe we could invite her to your exhibit!” Hyunjin suggested, your eyes lit up.

                “That is such a good idea!” You grinned up at him, Hyunjin gave you a funny but endearing look.

                “I think we should…-“ His voice trailed off and he looked in front of him. Your eyes followed him but before he could figure it out, he pulled you into the alley and started rushing.

                “What is this about?” You felt yourself giggle a little and you let him lead you. You were still in love with him, you couldn’t help it.

                “I think someone recognized one or both of us.” He turned three corners in the small alley and stopped to look around.

                “So, you dragged us into a sketchy ally?” You felt yourself laugh at him, he looked down at you confused and then looked around.

                “I guess I did… I panicked, okay?” You could tell he was a little embarrassed, once again you let a giggle slip out.

                “I just don’t want to have to leave again.” Hyunjin spoke softly, his voice was quiet. Your eyes softened when you looked at him.

                “You think they’d follow you again?” Your curiosity peaked. Hyunjin gave you a look and nodded.

                “Oh yeah, they will follow me to the ends of the Earth. I mean my brothers would, they aren’t actually blood brothers but they are the closest I have to them.” He was rambling, it made you forget you two were in some random alleyway.

                “Will I ever get to meet them?” You looked up at him and leaned against the wall. Hyunjin looked down at you.

                “You want to meet them?”

You nodded, “well of course I would. They’re important to you, are they not?”

                “Yeah… Yeah they are.” Hyunjin’s eyes kept staring into yours. His mind was running a mile a minute. You felt the rain start again, it was only a sprinkle and it felt nice. You looked up still leaning on the wall taking in the nice weather. You could hear Hyunjin breathe through his nose, and you looked up at him again. His brows were furrowed, and he looked frustrated.

                “Are you okay?” You asked, now you were genuinely concerned.

                “Please…” He mumbled, now it was your turn to look confused. The rain started to become heavy again, soaking both of you.

You heard Hyunjin mumble something and then look away.

                “I’m sorry I couldn’t hear you because of the rain.” You spoke.

                “Please let me kiss you again.”

In the middle of the sketchy alleyway, you let him kiss you. The war between your mind and heart was over, they made a truce to love Hyunjin.

And only Hyunjin.

~*~

The next morning you woke up to Hyunjin next to you, he was still sound asleep. Hyunjin looked so peaceful, it was just like when you woke up next to him in that little cottage of yours. Except now you two are older. His face was illuminated by the sun bouncing off your white walls. He was beautiful. You think if you ever spent a year without him again you would be heartbroken forever.

You carefully slipped out of bed, making sure that you wouldn’t wake him. You got up and did your morning routine and called your manager, you had an idea.

                “Hello Miss L/n.” Your manager said cheerfully, “what do I owe the pleasure?” Her voice was always so powerful.

                “Do you remember the first exhibit when my work started to become popular?” You asked as you went through the fridge to make pancakes for you and Hyunjin.

                “Ah yes, the one that was meant for Mr. W’s student Sam. But then Sam couldn’t make it?” Your manager always remembered; it was probably because you paid her to do so but still.

                “Yes, that one, I want to put those pieces out again this next exhibit. I have Hyu- Sam, here with me. I would like him to see his work in an exhibit.” You spoke and started to stir the pancake mix.

                “How kind of you Miss L/n.” You heard her type from the other end, “I will add that to your exhibit and the pamphlet. This afternoon I will send someone over to pick up yours and Mr. Sam’s.”

                “Thank you.”

Your manager started typing again and hummed to herself, “alright, they will be there in the afternoon.”

                “Thank you, Mrs. Jean.”

You said your goodbyes and continued to make breakfast, blueberry pancakes and coffee. Smiling to yourself you started to flip the pancakes. You jumped when you felt arms slowly snake around you.

                “Good morning.” Hyunjin mumbled and buried his head in your shoulder.

                “Morning Jinnie.”

Hyunjin giggled and buried his head more in your shoulder, “I missed that.”

You hummed and he didn’t let go of you while you cooked. You moved to the right, Hyunjin moved to the right. You took a step back, Hyunjin took a step back.

                “Breakfast smells great.” Hyunjin was still very sleepy, you could tell.

                “I am glad, I figured I would make up for you making breakfast the past couple days.” You laughed out of your nose.

                “You don’t have to make anything up for me.” He finally let go of you when the food was done and set.

                “Oh, I have someone coming over today to pick up some artwork for the exhibit. Do you mind running errands?” You asked and sipped your hot coffee. You put creamer in it, Hyunjin didn’t put creamer in his. You took note of that.

He pouted, “why can’t I be here?”

You gave him a look, “Can you please just trust me. Pleaaaase.” You pouted back. Hyunjin groaned and took a bite of his pancake, after he drowned it in syrup, of course.

                “Jinni-“

                “Yes. I can run errands, anything for you.”

Your smile widened and you giggled at how much of a lovesick dork he was. It was hypocritical of you to laugh though, you were the same lovesick dork for him. You always were.

~*~

The day of your exhibit rolled around and you woke Hyunjin up.

                “Get up we have to get ready!” You grinned.

                “My ticket isn’t until 6pm.” Hyunjin rolled over again, his beautiful form facing you. You shook him again.

                “Don’t you want to walk into my exhibit holding hands with me?”

You have never in your life seen someone get ready THAT quickly.

                “Blue or black suit?” Hyunjin asked.

You looked up at him. He had light makeup on and his hair was pulled back in a ponytail, he looked divine already. He could show up in his pajamas and he would look so good.

                “Blue, navy blue.” You said and looked back at your vanity, you were deciding how to do your hair and makeup.

                “Is that because you’re wearing navy blue.” He teased. Your face grew hot.

                “Noooo…” You mumbled, he let out a loud obnoxious laugh that you were in love with.

You finished getting ready and you waited for him by the door, adjusting your hat and sunglasses. As much as wearing sunglasses indoors made you kind of look like an asshole, you became known to do so. You started wearing them at your first exhibit, it was so people couldn’t see you crying over Hyunjin and how you wanted him to be there so badly. You took a deep breath, maybe it was time to ditch the sunglasses.

                “You look beautiful.” Hyunjin said from behind you and looked at you in the mirror, “can we take a photo?”

You nodded and looked up at him, he whipped out his phone and took a mirror selfie with you. He took a few photos, one of him kissing the side of your head, one of him holding you, another one of him actually kissing you. He would have memories and photos of you with him.

                “We are going to be late Jinnie.” You laughed. He nodded and you two headed out to the driver.

~*~

When you two arrived early you talked to your manager and introduced her to Hyunjin. She was very excited to meet this other artist. Just like you, she fell in love with his art too. Mrs. Jean was also clearly scouting for another client. It made you smile with pride. You were always so proud of Hyunjin. They ended up talking about art, thank god your manager kept the surprise. She was clearly trying to sell him on becoming a client, part of you hoped so. That meant he would have to come to Paris more. Which means he could see you more.

Time passed and people started showing up to your shared exhibit. When you walked around and people chatted with you, you saw Hyunjin was chatting with a group of men that you recognized as people from his group. He didn’t look tense around them, and it didn’t seem like he was in too much trouble for running away again.

You sipped on your champagne and grabbed a couple of cheese slices from the table.

                “Good evening.” You looked to your side and saw Namjoon. Uh ohhh. You smiled warmly, trying not to panic. You ended up setting your little cheese plate to the side.

                “Oh! Hi Namjoon!” You were really trying not to panic. I mean you guys didn’t even go out, you had tea with him once.

                “Your exhibit is really beautiful! I am excited to go through the rest of it.” He smiled at you.

                “Thank you, Namjoon that means a lot.” You smiled, he smiled back and before you knew it you felt a hand on your waist.

                “Oh my god I know you.” Hyunjin said and put his hand out, Namjoon shook it.

                “You’re an idol too, right?” Namjoon spoke, “part of that group Stray Kids?”

Hyunjin nodded and shook his hand back, “yes, I am Hyunjin.”

                “Ahhhh yes you are talked about a lot, I have heard your name float around before.” Hyunjin shrugged with a sly smile. You could help but roll your eyes at Hyunjin being childish.

Hyunjin and Namjoon talked a little about work before Namjoon excused himself to look at the rest of the exhibit.

                “I have something to show you.” You grabbed Hyunjin’s hand with your free hand. You set your champagne down. Hyunjin smiled at you and nodded. You led him to the part of your exhibit that was dedicated to him. You saw as his eyes widened and he looked at you then back at his artwork. They were still in pristine condition.

                “You didn’t get to see your work in an exhibit, I wanted to make that up to you.” You said quietly. Hyunjin looked at you like you were the world to him. He was at a loss for words.

                “Do you like it?” You asked, scared you overstepped.

                “Y/n… I love it…” He mumbled, still in shock, “I love you so much. I-“

You watched, heart beating out of your chest as he got down on one knee. Your mouth was agape. He pulled out a small box, the ring shining under the exhibit lights.

                “I was planning to do this after the exhibit but my heart is telling me there is no other perfect time for this. I love you, y/n. I will make up for the time lost for the rest of my life with you. I thought about you every day and I will continue to only think of you every day. I want you to be my future, you already are my everything. My intended. Will you please marry me.”

Maybe you should have worn your sunglasses because you were crying over Jinnie again, but not because of sadness.

                “Yes Jinnie!”

[ohmyeyesmyeyes]

IT'S NEVER OVER - PROLOGUE (sept. 2005)

summary: if anyone asked sid, he wouldn't say that he liked pittsburgh more after meeting nat. no, that would be absurd.

warnings: short and sweet! (none)

a/n: hi, hello! am i posting this without having finished it? yes. i don't know how long it's going to be but i'm slowly chipping away at it and i'm pretty excited about it. it might even be my favourite series thing i've done so far, and weirdly my first one? i've had the entire thing outlined for months but i've been too busy to even think about posting it, so...here you go! i can't promise posts for this will be regular because the chapters are so long, but i'll try my best to keep you posted! hope you enjoy (a series mastrlist will be out soon too so you can get the gist of where i'm at in the entire process) xo

sneak peak | pinterest board

(It started with music, but Nat didn’t know that.) 

It was a total accident, a random encounter that Sidney couldn’t possibly have predicted – one that, without exaggerating, changed his life to an extent. On a whim, he’d decided to go into that coffee shop he’d walked past everyday for the past three weeks, and it was also on a whim he actually made it to the counter to order an uncharacteristic coffee – he was newly eighteen, being pulled in all sorts of sports-diet directions, the confinement of which kind of irked him, so to him, buying that coffee was a subtle rebellion.

It was also a complete accident that he’d wandered off to the right after taking his coffee from the counter, instead of left, or forwards, or even backwards.

Sidney wasn’t one to believe in fate or destiny: he believed those terms were too magical – they alluded to some other worldly forces coming into play, and he liked to stick to facts. Coincidences. Accidents. Nevertheless, he did find it almost inexplicable, the way that his life hurtled into a completely different route after a mere forty minutes inside a coffee shop that he’d just spontaneously decided to make a trip of. He couldn’t quite get his head around it all.

To him, it was a coincidence that he’d walked past her table. A coincidence that she happened to be blaring the only song he’d been able to listen to for the last four days. He’d barely made it three steps past her before he froze. 

She was wearing those over-the-ear headphones, the ones with orange sponges from the 80s, plugged into the iPod that had come out a few years back. He recognised it because everyone that had one in his high school before he left never shut up about it. Sidney admittedly did own one at the time, but he never really felt the need to show it off  – it was much easier than lugging around a cassette or CD player with songs burnt in.

The song still had him halting in his tracks and turning around, his body much further ahead than his brain because he had to steady his mug of coffee; his sharp actions had the liquid almost sloshing over the edge, but he managed to catch it just in time.

He wouldn’t have done either of those things: stop and turn, if it had been any other song he’d heard. He was just so taken aback by it – the exact, precise song. 

The girl at the table didn’t pay him a single dime of attention when he froze, despite the fact that his hip was practically nudging her table. She wasn’t even looking in his direction, her eyes gazing out of the window on her right, skipping over empty faces as people walked past. It was clear she was supposed to be doing work of some sorts: there were textbooks, novels, and flashcards scattered across the entire table, a pencil case half emptied with pens strewn all over. She had a pen clutched in the fist she was resting her chin on, not caring for the study cards at all – entirely enamoured by the view. 

Sidney followed her eyes. There wasn’t much to look at, just a street, and her chair was directly facing the side of a retail store, clothes and mannequins displayed in the window. 

In hindsight, Sidney didn’t really know what compelled him to do what he did next.

He couldn’t tell if she was bored and just looking out, not paying attention to the music flowing into her ears, or if she was just so absorbed in what she was hearing that she couldn’t physically bring herself to think about her work – that she’d tuned out the outside world entirely.

What caught his attention the most was the crease between her brows. It drew him to look straight at her; an alluring combination of chestnut hair and pale eyes – though not too pale that they made him uneasy. She was also probably the only person in the establishment that was around his age.

She had impeccable music taste, if he did say so himself.

Yet, he couldn’t shake the inkling that this girl was wholly feeling the brilliance and soul-crushing heartache of Jeff Buckley’s genius – and he found himself hoping she was.

That was why he cleared his throat and took a small step to the other side of the table. He threw a quick glance over his shoulder, noting that the cafe was pretty busy, so he knew he could at least try to get away with what he was about to do.

He made sure to tilt his head up, because the hat covering his face would be nothing short of slightly suspicious in a public setting, and it wasn’t until he purposefully knocked into the chair that she flicked her eyes to look at him.

He held his breath, a moment when all they did was look at each other, until the crease in her brows disappeared and she reached to pause her music on her iPod, slowly sliding her earphones off so they rested around her neck. 

“Hi.” 

His assumptions had been correct. She was around his age – her voice was deeper than he’d originally anticipated – and when he found himself slightly closer than before, he was able to make out that she was studying for her SATs. 

It was September.

“Hi.” He replied, forcing a smile that he hoped would convey the apology he felt for intruding on her personal time and in her personal space. Her clutter was all over the table, and he knew that if she was hopefully as kind to strangers as he hoped she’d to be, that it would be somewhat of a hassle to shove some of it away, “I’m really sorry, but there aren’t any other tables free. Would I be able to–”

“Oh, sure.” She interrupted, immediately going to reach to sweep a space clear for him over the other side of the table. Sidney watched with a mildly amused gaze; she didn’t seem to care for the way her flashcards seemed to mix themselves up, or the way her textbooks snapped shut and she lost her page.

She flashed him a welcoming, slightly embarrassed smile as she piled the books on top of each other, and before Sidney knew it, he was sitting in the chair opposite, accidentally knocking their knees together in the process, and sipping from his coffee mug. He fought to maintain the thankful smile on his face, despite the utterly bitter taste of the coffee that seemed to fester on his tongue.

No wonder he’d never tried coffee before, it tasted like dirt.

The girl broke a small chunk of a muffin off, a smile breaking out on her face as she fought a small laugh.

Sidney blushed, “I’m not a big coffee-fan.” He reasoned, shrugging.

“I can tell.” She pressed her lips together momentarily, looking down at the plate before turning her attention back to him. Sidney felt stunned at the colour of her eyes. He’d never seen grey eyes before, but hers seemed to balance more on the green side – only when the sun struck the side of her face, they turned a watery, clear blue. There was also a tinge of brown thrown in there.

What was that called? Heterochromia?

He felt his mouth dry, and before he could stop himself, he was taking another sip of his coffee, this time managing to control the urge to wince, “Thanks for letting me sit here.”

She shrugged, gathering the flashcards and lining them up, “It’s no problem. Sorry for the mess.”

He let his eyes wander over the books once more, the green ‘SATs’ letters jumping out at him, “You got an important date?”

The girl swallowed, not entirely understanding what he meant. That crease formed between her brows again, and she opened her mouth to question him, but Sidney beat her to it, a finger pointing at her stack of books. 

She sighed, “Not entirely, they’re at the end of the school year, but one of my teachers gave us an assignment to get some study material done early.” 

Sidney couldn’t say he understood her stress – it was something displayed across the planes of her face; evident when she looked rather tiredly at the stack of books, and hesitated at the flashcards, before throwing them to the side. She folded her arms across the table, then switched so that her hands were interlocked in front of her.

She looked as though she didn’t quite know what to do with herself, and Sidney couldn’t tell if it was because of the presence of a stranger, or if she was already feeling some sort of academic guilt for throwing her attention away from her studies for a couple of minutes.

He saw her jaw clench, and at that observation, the thought that maybe he was paying a little bit too much attention to her crossed his mind, so he turned his focus to the cup of coffee. He was beginning to feel its effects; his knee was shaking softly under the table and he could feel an influx of energy spark at his fingertips. Or maybe it wasn’t the coffee at all.

He hadn’t thought about hockey for five minutes.

He saw her turn her face towards him out of the corner of his eye, and he looked up, “What about you? Are you in school, or…?” She trailed off, her eyes skimming over the logo that had flashed itself from the safe and unzipped confines of his hoodie. 

He felt his heart quicken at having been caught, worried that perhaps she’d shout out who he was – if she knew – across the entire cafe. He remained optimistic; she didn’t seem the type.

He cleared his throat, “Not anymore.” For some reason he hesitated. He could play off the logo as merchandise – he could be someone other than Sidney Crosby, the New Rookie of the Pens – or he could be honest. When he looked back at her, there was a challenge in her eyes, and Sidney knew then that she already knew who he was. “I just got drafted to the Pens for my first NHL season.”

She sighed, “Can I tell you something?” 

Sidney furrowed his brows, his mouth tilting down in a smile. He was new to the whole ‘local celebrity’ deal, but this by far, is probably one of the least impressed reactions he’d ever had. She clearly knew he wasn’t in school, but had still taken the kind courtesy to ask him the question, despite the futility of it.

He nodded. 

“I only know one Pens player.” Then she pointed to something out of the window, “That banner has been staring at me every week for the past three months.”

Sidney huffed a laugh, thinking she was joking, but followed her finger anyway. He was immediately faced with a street corner, tens of people walking past each other – he could even make out their voices if he concentrated hard enough, and it took a while to figure out what exactly she was pointing at, until his eyes settled on a billboard at least a block down.

He’d been told that for press reasons, the Pens had come up with the idea of a way of promoting him as a player, and a ‘person of Pittsburgh’, by plastering some action shots of him – still staged – around the city. He’d neglected to look up lately, fearing that if he did, he’d be faced with some images of himself, but he hadn’t escaped that entirely.

The billboard was small, and he wasn’t the only player on there, either, but he saw it nonetheless. 

When he spun back around to look at her once more, the only thing that came out of his mouth was, “There’s two other players, not just me.”

She shrugged, “I was talking about Sergei Gonchar.”

Sidney felt the blush colour from his chest to his cheeks as he slowly put his hands over his face, consumed by humiliation. He felt himself smile into his hands when he heard the girl huff a snicker. He’d had quite a few people as of late kissing up to his ego, and apart from his teammates, she was the first one to really deliver a considerable blow – and he was thankful for that; that at least someone still had the ability to look past who he was and tease him like he was a normal person. He was aware of the irony that lay there.

He gathered himself, unabashedly removing his hands and displaying the creeping blush for her to see, and sticking his hand between them, “Sidney Crosby, rookie center for the Pittsburgh Penguins.”

She rolled her eyes, not commenting on the state of his cheeks, her smile fading slightly but still remaining, “I was joking, I know who you are.” She took his hand in hers, gripping it tightly, “Nat Brooks. Student.”

Sidney swallowed, his blush remaining for other reasons, and pulled his hand away, flexing it under the table, “Is Nat short for anything?”

“Natalia.”

“‘S very pretty.” He mumbled, and she smiled sweetly.

“Sidney’s very pretty, too. It suits you.”

Something clenched in his chest.

[bloopitynoot]

Reading SVSSS: BONUS- Chapter 22

For those who don't know, I am reading SVSSS for the first time and sharing my thoughts!

If you have not read it, there will be spoilers! Consider this a warning.

Also- if you want to follow along, I am aiming to post updates daily. You can find all the posts in the tag bloopitynoot reads SVSSS. You can also check out the intro post for context on my read.

Yall I am sick as heck. I tested for the plague and it does not seem to be that, but I defo have a head cold/sinus thing going on.

I did something wild and a little unhinged and made my matcha latte with a protein shake like i'm some sort of athlete instead of a feeble old man. I also have enough vitamins running through me courtesy of ener-c to fuel a football team.

Still feel like ass, but this chapter was a solid up to my day.

Before we even get into it, based on the title of this chapter I can already tell I am not ready. The fact that there are TWO Binghe's is already telling me there is a metric shit-ton of threesome PWP on Ao3

Oh! okay! It's like an immediate continuation of the story. I totally thought we would be skipping a bunch of time or something, yay! this is a good surprise. p11

I forgot about the bamboo house replica LBH made for SQQ. It is so cute that he got the bamboo to actually grow in this realm. p11

LOL ofc LBH is sulking because SQQ will not sleep in the same bed as him. p12

I feel like based on the chapter title and the behaviour of the Binghe we have here that this is not the sweet Binghe we know and love. p15

How has LBH constantly pulling AWAY from SQQ not triggered some red flags for this man. Normally LBH makes every excuse to attach himself to SQQ. p16

okay LOL now SQQ finally questions it p18

Ming Fan you fucking narc! No one asked you to go get the other peaks involved. so rude! p19

Dang. Liu Qingge really is all or nothing. He is truly doing the lords work trying to constantly save SQQ from himself. The fact that he keeps picking up his literal shit every time this guy gets himself into A Situation is telling. Not enough respect for this guy, truly. p21

Oh god, well. RIP SQQ because this LBH is most definitely an imposter! p23

(I literally cannot read what I wrote for this note/I think my hand was working slower than my brain and many words are missing in the sentence. I think I was TRYING TO SAY): This Binghe is evil as shit and SQQ still has not confirmed. I am a little bit worried if this Binghe is here- where is the other one????? Is he okay??? p26

Yeah! You correct that asshole Ying Ningning. (If you can't tell this character really grew on me- she had the glow up for sure for sure). p27

I do love that this evil Binghe get's to have some internal dialogue that we read, "Like fuck you do!" p28

OMG. This evil Binghe totally did read the BingQiu porn and is taking his "shizun" for a test run. Oh no! Does good Binghe stop this??? p31

Thank fuck SQQ finds out who this Binghe is (though he sort of was not complaining about the man handling at all). Bless for good Binghe for showing up too! pp32-33

Bless his heart, "In the end, he and Luo Binghe were too unfamiliar with each other's bodies. That was why it had taken him so long to figure out what was wrong here" P35 Okay but I do love that his response to all of this is definitely- "me and Binghe need to be more intimate in case this situation happens again. I will definitely fix this for the future".

The way SQQ is just clutching his pearls this chapter is killing me LOL the romance novel energy is too much. "Shen Qingqiu was stunned silent. Playing around with who? Playing around with me? Bing-ge you...you'd accept all corners?! Welcoming both men and women! Is this something like 'both meat and fish are fine- I'm not picky, I'll eat whatever I'm given'?" P37

SQQ: "What the fuck am I supposed to tell anyone..." Also SQQ: p39

Oh no! Bing-ge is getting into Bing-mei's head. Leave the poor boy alone, he is very sensitive. All the while SQQ is trying to get the little guy to just focus on dealing with Bing-ge. p41

Since this is a different Binghe, I have decided to add another dime to the demon blood mite bank. I believe we are at $0.60 which is TOO damn much. p44

It is highly effective! p46

Oh no. Now Bing-ge is having feelings. Understandable though- he really did get the shit story where in everything is terrible and he has no real support. Bro just wanted some softness. p47

Oop. Well. I guess Bing-mei is going to attempt to level up some skills today. p49

Luo Binghe and his Dick Weapon (TM). p52

Blessed be, we have some sort of lube. I am literally so glad for this. The way my body viscerally reacted to their last scene- this is not much of an improvement, but they are getting there. p55

Oh no, and they're both crying now. p57

Thank fuck his disciples did NOT decide to fix the roof. p60 that would have been one heck of a surprise.

Okay, but this is so tender. Look at them both growing and learning. p61

LOL LBH is DETERMINED to learn. "Shen Qingqiu knew what he wanted to ask and mercilessly spoke first, "awful." However this time, even after receiving criticism, Luo Binghe wasn't depressed. Rather, he exuberantly declared, "Yes, it was awful. Unacceptably awful." "what are you saying...?" "Because it was simply awful, this disciple requests that his Shizun assist him with further exploration." Well." p62

It could have been worse!

These two are so damn weird. Good for them, but also, it's too much LOL. One is self sacrificing, the other is needy as HELL. It must have been so weird for BIng-ge to witness; drastically different version of himself!

[odyssean-flower]

The Chief Justice and the Worst Painter in Fontaine Chapter 2: The Wonders of Water

summary: It was supposed to be your time to relax and get in touch with your (extremely) buried creative side...but then your boss showed up. Masterpost here

Chapter 1 || Chapter 2 || Chapter 3 (Bonus Scenes) || Chapter 4

On that first week back to work after your surreal weekend, Neuvillette didn’t make any contact with you. No visit to your desk, not even a note. You had expected it, of course. The Chief Justice was a busy man with his mind preoccupied with matters that were far more important than you. He had probably forgotten all about you. If you were honest, you were a little bit disappointed, but at least this would make for a fun story to tell, right?

Not that you told anyone about it. You weren’t even sure how to explain it.

On Friday, just as you were thinking of pursuing another hobby, preferably within the city, the Melusine who worked at the front desk, Sedene, delivered a note to you.

“Hello there, [Name],” the short Melusine said as she approached you, holding a folded piece of paper in her hand. “I have a message here from Monsieur Neuvillette.”

You almost thought you misheard. You looked around to see if there was anyone else near you, but you were the only one in the office. It was Friday, and everyone had vacated the Palais Mermonia as soon as the clock struck the end of the work day.

“Um…from Monsieur Neuvillette, you say?” you asked. “It’s really from him? And for me?”

“Who else would it be from?” Sedene tilted her head to the side. “He told me that you would be expecting it. Although, I was also surprised when he asked me to do this. I don’t think he’s ever delivered a handwritten note to a human before.”

Oh, great. Does that mean he’s actually expecting something from me? Your palms were getting sweaty, but you accepted the note. “Thank you, Sedene.”

After the Melusine left, you opened the note. It contained a location written in elegant handwriting. Neuvillette was asking you to go to the mountains north of the city.

Well, it seemed that your fate was sealed. So much for relaxing outside of work.

That was what you thought back then, but to your surprise, weekends with Neuvillette were actually pretty…enjoyable?

Every Friday, he would send a note with a location. You would go there with your painting supplies, greet him, and start painting. 

Although you still felt somewhat bitter about having to pick out a nice and respectable outfit even when you weren’t at work, you had to admit, Neuvillette really did know the best spots for painting.

The gray mountains capped with snow, the rolling fields of green dotted with flowers and rustic-looking houses, even the sinister and creepy-looking Elynas. For a lifelong city dweller like you, these sights were just as awe-inspiring and breathtaking as what you imagined the soaring peaks of Liyue or the lush green jungles of Sumeru to be like.

With these sceneries and your empty canvas before you, the urge to jump into the act of creation almost overpowered your nervousness.

There wasn't much talking done during these sessions, just you trying your best to depict what you saw with the tools you had at hand. Neuvillette would simply stand there, gazing off into the distance. Sometimes, you would sneak a glance at his profile to see if anything changed. It never did, or if it did, you were too slow to catch it. You never felt his gaze on you while you were painting, but it didn't feel like he was ignoring you. It felt more like he was trying to be considerate towards you as you were working.

It was hard to figure out how long you should take to finish your paintings. On one hand, you didn't want to take up too much of his time (nor your own), but on the other hand, taking too little time to take in the view and focus on your artwork felt disrespectable. You had to keep reminding yourself that this was your leisure time, so you should take however long you please, and anyway, Neuvillette was the one who always stayed there after you left. 

Once you were done your painting, you would show it to him, and he would compliment it. You didn't know where he was getting those compliments from and had the suspicion that his ability to appreciate art was tragically askew. But somehow, his words sounded genuine. Though you felt not a little pressure to improve each and every week, hearing his kind words made you walk into work with a little more spring in your step. 

Your weekends with Neuvillette weren't something you exactly looked forward to with anticipation, but they were never the worst part of your week.

It felt a bit dramatic to call it a double life…but it really did feel like one.

During the week, you were just one of many ordinary office workers diligently working at their desks, unnoticed by those above you, much less the Chief Justice (well, now that you knew that he knew your work, it suddenly felt like there was a heavy gaze upon you). But on the weekend, you were…well, an amateur painter who somehow got taken under the wing of Monsieur Neuvillette himself. 

You haven't told anyone about him, not even your best friend. Something about telling people about what you do on the weekends felt wrong, almost scandalous, even though it was nothing of the sort. You didn't want to deal with a barrage of questions, and what if those reporters from the Steambird found out? 

It was scary how something could become an unremarkable, normal part of a routine once you done it enough times. For you, it didn't take long before you were comfortable enough to sit with your legs spread slightly apart or mumble to yourself as you mixed colors. While you were still somewhat nervous dealing with him, and you definitely wouldn't call you and Neuvillette friends, you no longer felt like a small mouse trying its best to take up the least amount of space as possible in the fear of being noticed by the cat. 

As for your painting skills...well, improvement was a slow and steady thing.

Neuvillette was as inscrutable as ever, but you were beginning to learn how to read him.

The weather wasn't good today. It wasn't raining, but the skies were covered in gray clouds. Furthermore, Neuvillette was unhappy. You had no idea why, and he wasn't giving any explanation. You were ninety percent sure it had nothing to do with you, since he had already been like this when you got here. But still, you could feel waves of moroseness coming off from him, and it was affecting your work.

After hearing a small, nearly imperceptible sigh issue from his lips, you decided to pluck up the courage and ask him what was bothering him. Hey, I'm showing initiative here, aren't I? You attempted to give yourself a pep talk. 

"Um, excuse me, Monsieur Neuvillette," you begin, trying to inject the right amount of politeness and concern into your voice. "I can't help but notice that there is something on your mind..."

Neuvillette turned at your voice. There was surprise in his eyes, like he hadn't expected you to ask about him. 

"My apologies. I didn't know my mood was affecting you. Please, feel free to disregard me."

"Oh, it doesn't bother me at all," you half-lied. "I'm just worried that you're not enjoying yourself, sir."

"My enjoyment shouldn't be a cause of concern for you. You only need to focus on your painting while you are here."

"But I shouldn't be the only one having a good time. This is your rest day as well."

"Please, [Name], there is no need to worry about me. Your enjoyment is my--"

"Monsieur Neuvillette, please tell me what's bothering you! I really want to know!" you unconsciously raised your voice, then immediately clapped your hands to your mouth upon realizing what you had done. "Oh Archons, I'm so sorry."

There was a short silence after you said that.

Crap, crap, crap. 

He's going to push me into the waters and then I'm going to sink to the bottom and become fish food-

"It's the water here." His calm voice broke through your panicked thoughts. "It leaves much to be desired. I felt upset for bringing you to such an unfit place to paint."

"The...water?" you looked around. This weekend, Neuvillette took you to a small island near Romaritime Harbor. The water here was sapphire-blue and clear, just like the water everywhere in Fontaine. "I don't really see what's wrong with it..."

"Let me show you." A silver cup suddenly appeared in Neuvillette's hand. Where did that come from?

He scooped up some water in the cup and swirled it, then showed it to you. It looked like...extremely pure water.

"Do you see how different this water is from the location we visited last weekend? The scent, the texture, and..." he took a sip of the water before your incredulous eyes, then grimaced. "The taste. All of it is utterly subpar."

He then went on a rant about how water was different in different places. He must have been bottling this up, because he kept talking for about ten minutes. You had never seen him talk so animatedly before. It was honestly pretty refreshing, even though you had no idea what he was talking about. So, you just kept nodding and saying "uh huh" at the appropriate moments.

"Um...if you say so, sir. Although, I think this place is just as lovely as all the other places you've brought me to," you said after he finally concluded. 

He stared at you for a moment, then shook his head. "No, not at all. You deserve only the best."

Your cheeks warmed. Did he really just say that!? 

"Next week, I will take you to a far more beautiful place," he said solemnly. He raised his hand awkwardly, hesitantly, then placed it on your shoulder. "I promise."

You could still feel the weight of his hand on his shoulder even after you returned to work on Monday.

[ambrosiagourmet]

Has anyone requested Marcille for the ask meme? If not then pls

Marcille!!!!!!!!!

First impression

Gay? Interesting elf girl with a really good design for a female character oh my god thank you. She gets to wear pants!!! It's a miracle!

Impression now

BELOVED HALF-ELF OF MY HEART... most determined member of the party, maybe second only to Laios. Not that it's a competition.

Girl who carries the weight of her existence in her heart everywhere she goes. Girl who doesn't know how to just exist because that would mean surrendering to the things time will take away from her. Girl with bloody knuckles who clings too tightly to the things she loves because she remembers a time when she didn't realize what they meant to her.

Girl who must shape a life too big to hold all at once. Who stares into that impossible task so unflinchingly that you kind of want to tell her to run away from it for a bit. Be a bit more of a coward, Marcille! But she doesn't have time to be a coward!! She's hurtling towards her goals at terminal velocity. But the same love that keeps her tumbling forward also pulls her back from the brink. Because she's still figuring out the balance.

Favorite moment

Rabbit chapter... my god rabbit chapter.........

Genuinely maybe my favorite chapter in the whole manga. It hits such an incredible peak of humor and raw emotion and impossibly ridiculous situations and grounded believable character writing. And no part of it is separate from the others.

What a fucking chapter. And what a fucking thesis for why Marcille is such a good character. Her being ridiculous and her being incredibly determined and her being powerful and her being scared are ALL part of her. Man. Marcille. She will do anything to pull through for her friends.

And then on top of it the way the Lion takes advantage of this moment to pull her strings. Which is just. So horrifying to watch because you want someone to give her a hug but all the people who would give her a hug are currently DEAD and she's left in a room along and exhausted with a manipulative, abusive, hungry opportunist. God. God. I love Rabbit Part II So Very Much.

Idea for a story

Umm hi sorry I am still busy thinking about Rabbit Part II. Please enjoy some shameless self promotion while I go lie down for a bit.

Unpopular opinion

She's bisexual!!!!! Normally I don't hold so fast to like "well canonically this character was into A Man so she can't be a lesbian blah blah blah" but it does bum me out that people ignore her succubus because I really do think that bi Marcille deserves more love. It doesn't make her any less into women sheesh.

Favorite relationship

Sorry I was thinking about Rabbit Part II again what was the question? Favorite relationship?

Yeah I dunno maybe Marcille and Laios? I kinda like the part where they rely on each other because there is no other way through and share an unnamed intimacy born in blood and bone and the way that they place impossible burdens on each other and owe each other their lives many times over and neither holds it against the other or asks for the repayment of debts that can never be repaid, choosing instead to keep walking into the future by each others sides because what else can you do. What else can you do.

They are pretty cool I guess. I'm normal about them though. Haha.

Favorite headcanon

I imagine that castle staff help Marcille with her hair on a day-to-day basis because leaving it just to personal friends and family would probably be impractical. But also I think Chilchuck, Laios, Falin, and also especially KABRU all learn enough to help her with it. I think that the first three learn some basic nice stuff but I think Kabru would get really into it.

That man could absolutely intensely hyperfixate on something like "nice hairstyles from another culture" for three to six months and come out the other side an expert.

[the-peak-tmnt]

Hi Peak!! How are you? I hope you're fine!

I've read the last Reciprocity chapter right when you dropped it, but just now I managed to find the words to talk about it in a way that isn't joking! (I was the person who said smth along the lines of "amazing chapter! i will never be happy again!") Anyway I wanted to talk about the fic in general first; it's simply genius the way you wrote and planned the whole thing. The way you introduce the way this world is different from the world we knew in the movie, and now the series, is so masterful that it feels like Raph is taking the reader by the hand and gently, as gently as he can, guiding them through everything that happened like the reader is an old friend that came back from a long long trip and lost alot of things; at the same time that every new information we learn about the accident, about Raph's injurie, about what happened to Leo and the whole fallout with Splinter feels like THE punch in the middle of your face. Maybe it's just me, but at times the prose is so immersive that it makes me feel like I'm a friend that abandoned Raph in the when he needed most, hence the whole punch in the face feeling. I think that's the reason why the softer moments (like the Casey moments or when the brothers reach out to eachother) hit even harder, it's like seeing a friend who's struggling start to get better and find their footing with life again. Just like that's why the angst moments hurt so much. It's a cicle that gives the fic a whole new level of heart and spirit that's simply impressive beyond belief. ITS SO GOOD IT MAKES ME ILL ! Now, about that last chapter [cries]. When I read chap 18 I thought something along the lines of "Ok, we got the accident and we got the injury, but the flashback isn't over. What else could possibly happen?" AND OH BOY I WAS IN FOR A TREAT. And a threat. Maybe it's because I'm dumb but, even after seeing what the principle trigger warning was, it took half of the chapter for me to finally realize what was going to happen and I had to pace through my house like a mad woman just to keep reading. It's a masterpiece in how to write suspense, I STILL DIDN'T STOP THINKING ABOUT THAT ONE LAST SCENE! it's too sad! it's too good!

I hope this whole rant was, at least, understandable. I'm really happy I read Reciprocity and I'm really really reaaaally happy that you wrote it! Thank you so much for it!

Please excuse me while I go cry forever.

This was such a wonderful thing to get in my inbox, oh my gosh. I read this like ten times before trying to come up with a response.

When I started writing Reciprocity, I wasn't sure how readers would feel about the fic starting in the middle of the plot and having to wait for backstory to be gradually revealed. I didn't know if I'd be able to keep anyone's attention long enough with the suspense for the payoff of the eventual reveals...

But I just felt like this was the right way to tell the story, y'know? Raph is lost and confused and missing things in more ways than one, so it felt right that the reader should be a little lost, too.

The incredible way you just described the experience of reading and discovering pieces of the past makes my heart want to explode, and also makes me so glad I stuck with this style of storytelling!

I’ll admit that writing the story this way is more challenging than I was expecting, but it's SO rewarding to watch readers put things together and react to the big reveals! I love seeing people's theories, even if it pushes the limits of my self restraint every time someone is getting close to the truth! I wanna tell people when they're right, but I also don't want to ruin the suspense and buildup!!!

It’s overwhelmingly rewarding to hear that the story feels so immersive, and that the prose makes you feel so deeply for Raph. Because as much as this story is about unraveling the mystery of what’s happening with Leo, it’s even more so about Raph’s own journey of self discovery, forgiveness, and growth. It makes me so unbelievably happy that you feel like you’re not just an observer, but that you’re on this journey with Raph.

Comments like this just mean the world to me, so thank you so much!!!