#also who even gives a fuck about the words people use to identify *themselves*

[sammypog]

“don’t restrict yourself!! gender and sexuality are fluid!” you guys couldn’t even handle he/him lesbians

[hilacopter]

You say ur a zionist depending on the definition but you believe jews are indigenous to the levant? That is the definition why don't you just call urself a zionist

see the thing is I genuinely think a lot of the whole zionism controversy mostly stems from a giant stupid misunderstanding and people not being properly informed. me telling someone I'm a zionist can either give them the right idea or the completely wrong idea.

let me paint a picture for you: a self-identified zionist and a self-identified anti-zionist walk into a bar. the zionist thinks the definition of zionism is wanting a Jewish state in the Levant, they want peace and a two-state solution. the anti-zionist thinks zionism is kahanism, they want peace and a two-state solution. "are you a zionist?" the anti-zionist asks, "yes" the zionist answers, and they immediately get into an argument. "anti-zionism is antisemitism!" the zionist shouts, "zionists are fascists!" the anti-zionist yells. of course this could all have blown over peacefully if they had asked eachother what zionism is, but why would they need to? what else could the word possibly mean?

I respect people on this site who identify as zionists, providing of course their meaning is wanting Jewish self-determination and not denying the right to Palestinian life and self-determination alongside us (remember I'm literally saying all this as an Israeli, if anyone wants Jewish self-determination in Israel it's me because my life quite literally depends on it). but I feel like they create a lot of unnecessary conflict for themselves by identifying as such and in most cases not explicitly stating what they mean by zionism. I know there's the desire to make dumb people understand the actual definition of the word, but with how much the misconceptions have already been set in stone I think it's a battle we cannot win.

there's more to all this though, buckle up for a pretty long post because I have a lot to say which I won't religate to the tags for once. first of all, I genuinely think a lot of anti-zionists, especially on the younger side (saying this as a minor myself), do not even have a solid definition of zionism in their head. they just see all of their peers shitting on it and follow along, making up whatever zionism means in their head along the way. since in leftist spaces it's not very acceptable to actually ask about the cause, why everyone is doing what they're doing. you have to take everything for granted, after all you wouldn't want to look uneducated by not knowing what zionism is! (this aspect of leftism 100% comes from cultural christianity btw)

there are also many anti-zionists who, at least to some extent, do know zionism means self-determination of Jews in the Levant and wanting Israel to exist. a lot of which think Israel is a white colonizer state, unaware of the history of the region, how more than there are ashkenazi Jews in Israel there are mizrachi Jews expelled from Arab nations, and are unaware of Jewish indigeneity to the Levant. how this land was originally Judea, only renamed Syria-Palaestina after being conquered from us and having most of us expelled. unfortunately the vast majority of pro-pal activists are very much simply jumping on the trendy train, not bothering to actually do their own research about the history of this insanely complex conflict and simply know everything by word of mouth from other equally uneducated leftists. I do think a lot of these people genuinely just don't know and aren't actively denying Jewish history on purpose, I've had like two cases happen where I told anti-zionists of this sort about Jewish indigeneity to the Levant and they just went "really? I had no idea". but of course for every person like that, there will be a person who will double down and dismiss it as propaganda, a myth and a fairytale. those people can go fuck themselves, clinging desperately to their half-assed worldview rather than willing to own up to being wrong and better themselves. denying Jewish history. or in a rare case of exceptional shittiness an anti-zionist can view zionism as wanting Jewish self-determination in the Levant and know that Jews are indigenous, yet still choose to identify as an anti-zionist by that definition for what can be a myriad of horrible reasons, usually complete tride and true antisemitism.

so in conclusion, I don't identify as a zionist outright until I know what kind of anti-zionist is asking me the question. is it an anti-zionist who just wants peace as much as I do, or is it an anti-zionist who wants me and my family dead? I've had people call me a zionist, non-zionist, anti-zionist and I don't really know what to expect each time. I feel like this approach leaves the most room for me to open good faith discussions with people and educate them on the subject as someone who actually knows xir shit, more than the average pro-pal at least, rather than having them immediately dismiss me as whatever definition of a zionist they have. not that good faith discussions are easy to have with people on tumblr dot com, and really online in general, but I'd rather have the option in the rare case of an actual open-minded individual who is willing to listen to Jews and better themself.

[stararch4ngelqueen]

Now You See 'Em, Now You Don't (18+)

Part 1 of Ghosts and Mirages

Warning: Heavy mentions of blood, gore, violence, and smut. Choking, finger fucking, mirror sex, voice kink. Plenty of smut.

!Please beware!

Summary: After a dangerous encounter leading towards your own capture and torture, you; Codename "Mirage", went from one of the best snipers on the task force with a bubbly sense of humor and strong wit, to a stone-cold demeanor woman who let her vendetta get the better of her, almost costing her the lives of her teammates.

Ghost wasn't too happy about this, and based off experience, he refuses to let your mind head down that path any further.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A Mirage can be many things: A body of water in the middle of a desert, an assassin in the dead dark of the night on a rooftop, a glimmer of light reflecting off hot pavement before the sun set, all disappearing from the eye the moment you get too close.

People could say that the words ghost and mirage have pretty similar meanings, but not towards those who took the names to identify themselves by.

You wished you could say you worked hard to earn that name, which you slightly did. Once the name was put to the wind, it permanently stuck to you ever since.

Your top specialty was your excellent aim, always volunteering yourself to take the liberty of helping the squads you were assigned to. If there was a group of snipers, you would take the lead and give orders. If you had to work alone, you gladly did so.

Your actions didn’t go unnoticed, gaining the attention of those who took an interest in your talents. You couldn’t fully admit publicly that you were proud of your skills, believing that karma could come back and bite you in the ass one day, but you definitely felt a swell of pride with every compliment that flooded your earpiece.

You couldn’t exactly remember when you found yourself working alongside the men of Task Force 141, eventually fully assimilating yourself into the team. While being unaware if any of the higher ups had officially approved it, you doubt they were going to say anything against it now.

Price definitely wasn’t complaining, that was all you really cared for.

After a short while during a mission, an interesting game of name picking occurred after completing your objective to eliminate any enemy snipers. While the option of using a suppressed rifle was possible, there were only five camouflaged snipers along the cliffs, allowing you to sneak up on them one by one and jam a knife into their necks, severing vocal cords before they could even scream.

Soap had taken the liberty of giving you the name “She-Ghost,” which caught you off guard as you hid in the dry grass, a few feet away from your recent victim. Why She-Ghost? None of your enemies saw you coming.

You’re pretty sure Ghost had his own name and reasoning trademarked. You were alright with the man, but you never saw anything between the two of you that you shared in common, let alone enough to share a code name. Price shut down any future commentary on the topic before reminding everyone to focus on the mission at hand.

“She-Ghost sounds kind of sexist, by the way.” You couldn’t help but pitch into the silence that followed after.

“It does not.” Soap retorted.

“It does.”

“Enough,” The gruffy voice of Ghost spoke up. “Calling her She-Ghost makes her sound like she’s my sister.”

“You’re right. I just remembered yer’ old enough to be her dad.” Soap retorted, making you bite your lip to suppress a laugh.

“Thanks for making me feel young, Johnny.”

You wish that night ended much easier than it sounded, but it wasn’t.

Somehow, you missed a sniper to kill, who then alerted his comrades of the lone assassin hiding up on the cliffs. The loud struggles and muffles were heard by everyone through your earpiece before connections were cut, your attackers knocking you out with the butt of a rifle to your right temple.

Where you were dragged off to was a mystery. Where you had woken up was also a mystery, but not the enemies who surrounded you when you were woken up via water being poured over your head, bound and gagged to a chair. You were stripped of all your equipment, leaving you in your simple garments. The room smelled dank, the air heavy with expensive, putrid cigar smoke. The only source of light hanging from a bulb over your head, your vision too blurred to fully make out the faces of the men standing in front of you.

Their were four people in the room: one of them you recognized straight away as your crew’s target. He grabbed ahold of your jaw and forced you to look at him, speaking to you in a language you didn’t really care to learn all that well just yet. He stepped to the side, directing your head towards a camera stand a few feet away pointing straight towards you. A tiny red light confirmed that whatever was to happen was all being recorded.

Saying you were scared was a ridiculous understatement. You were at mercy to the men inside this room inside a building in the middle of god knows where, who planned to torture and kill you before sending the video off to your team. Hell, it might even be broadcasted live to those who fought for the enemy, setting an example to what happens to enemy soldiers, especially women such as yourself, for fighting against them.

You were tortured inside that small, dimly lit room for hours, maybe even longer. There was no way you could tell the time, your hands kept tightly bound behind the backrest of the wooden chair. You were pretty sure they even took your watch away.

After constant punches to your face and body, the leader began speaking to you again in his common language. When you didn’t answer any of his questions, you were beaten even more until he tried again. This process went on for a good while, not a single word leaving your lips.

Then, he got smart enough to speak to you in broken English, but the only response he got from you was a wheezy laugh. He wasn’t satisfied with the response, extending his hand, being gifted a knife by his comrade. After asking you one more time and receiving nothing in return, he dug the blade down the side of your face. The sharp sting of the knife scraping your right cheekbone down to your bottom lip made you cry out.

What made it worse was their unique creativity, forcing you to talk once more while slicing the tips off Cuban cigars before igniting them. When you didn’t, their leader proceeded to blow smoke in your face before deciding to cauterize your fresh wound with the burning end of the cigar, laughing at your screams when they twisted it deep into your cheek.

“Hurts, no? You talk now?” He questioned you, gripping ahold of your chin.

“Go... to fucking hell!” You gritted out before spitting blood to his face, making him wince and retort. You laughed at his reaction, seeing him wipe it off with visible disgust before grabbing ahold of your neck, squeezing hard and tilting your attention upwards. He held the end of the blade right in front of your right eye before pulling it back, preparing to kill you right then and there.

Seeing you weren’t afraid, or he was just as chickenshit as he looked, He lowered his hand, clicking his tongue before handing the knife back to his partner, who carelessly left it on a table near the door. Gesturing towards the two others, they yanked you off the chair and dragged you out of the room, leading you to god knows where in this building.

You would think that their expensive taste in cigars meant that they could afford better quality tape. The water they had thrown on you prior had weakened the adhesive just enough for you to allow your wrists some wiggle room.

Releasing one of your hands, you yanked yourself from the men's grips, pulling the tape over the closest man’s neck to act as a last-minute choker. You tugged hard, hearing him choke while his partner quickly pulled out his gun. The bullets he fired naturally hit your new man-shield, quickly pushing the slumping body towards his partner before wrestling for the gun, headbutting the man before firing half the mag into his skull.

Faint bursts of bombs echoed from the outside, letting you know that you were close to an exit, and something was definitely happening outside. The exit was reasonably tempting, but with you now being in possession of a gun, you proceeded to stumble back the way you came from.

A man quickly stepped out of the room when he got notified of the commotion, immediately getting shot in the head before he could draw his own weapon.

You fired the last two bullets towards the only remaining man in the room, sending him to the ground in agony as the bullets punctured the back of his knees. Throwing the weapon aside, you reached for the knife from the table, getting down on the ground to turn the man over to his back.

It wasn’t the leader, you quickly realized that. It was just some goddamn man dressed in a similar uniform. The man you were after had gotten away after you were dragged off.

He pulled a gun from his belt, pistol-whipping you to throw you off guard. He fired, the bullet barely grazing the shell of your ear, making a piercing ring rattle your throbbing head.

You jammed the knife into the man’s neck before he could shoot you again, shouting in his face while you pushed his arm away. Refusing to stop there, you pulled out the knife to embed it straight into his chest, puncturing his left lung. You repeated the action over and over, watching his mouth fill with blood as major arteries were struck. The substance stained your hands and blade, splashing onto your face every single time you retracted. You screamed out your rage with every stab, feeling the knife repeatedly scrape against rib bones and puncture his heart.

The camera had fallen over from the chaos, the cracked lenses capturing an angle of your body sitting over his, witnessing the bloodshed that stained the ground.

A sudden rush of footsteps came running down the hallway towards the room you were in. Those who entered first witnessed firsthand when you jammed the blade into the man's right eye, your throat raw from screaming.

You looked up, seeing familiar looking clad soldiers entering the room, led by an all too familiar man scoring a black mask with a white painted skull standing beside another familiar mohawk wearing man.

“What... took you so damn long Lieutenant?” You panted while raising yourself from the corpse, tasting blood on your tongue from the throbbing gash on your bottom lip, bleeding even more after your consistent screaming.

“Been here for a while actually, I was just enjoying the show.” Ghost set aside his rifle, watching you finally release the knife, wiping your stained hands on your ruined shirt before tugging the remnants of tape dangling off your wrist.

“Sorry it ended so soon,” You muttered, bringing a hand over to your chest while catching your breath, feeling it grow difficult as a tight, painful sensation started under your ribs. You stood slowly, stumbling onto your feet as your relief diluted your adrenaline rush, reminding you of the pain your body was experiencing prior.

“Woah, woah... easy.” Soap brought you into his arms after you took a couple steps forward, allowing you to lean on him for support. “Easy there, lass.” Soap gently held onto your sides, feeling your sharp wince and immediately relaxing his grip. You trembled a bit, your breathing growing raspier than a few moments prior.

“I think they broke one of her ribs Lt.”

“If they did, she’d still be screaming. Punctured lung sounds more like it, go easy on her.”

“I didn’t think.. I just didn’t think you guys would come for me.” You admitted with bated breath, feeling Soap hoist your arm over his shoulders to provide additional support while you stood.

Ghost picked up the abandoned camera from the floor, pulling it off of its stand. It had still been recording this entire time, wondering what kind of footage this thing had received: Important discussions between the enemies next hideout location or our torture. Most likely both. The time he saw in the far corner of the screen showed just how long you were left victim to these men, finding it a miracle you were still alive before it could’ve gotten worse.

He wasn’t a fool to how these men treated women, especially female prisoners.

He dreaded having to watch every single minute of the footage later.

“And lose the best sniper we got on my watch? Don't think so little of yourself, (Y/n).” Ghost came closer, black painted eyes staring at the state of your face. Despite the bruises hidden underneath your ruined clothes and along your jaw and left eye, the intense gash across your face looked nasty, darkened with dirt and ashes as it continued to seep thin ripples of blood, trailing down to the bottom of your jaw.

“Let’s get you out of here, kid.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Enjoy the chapter so far? Full (smut) version on my Ao3!

Read here as well on my Wattpad!

[velvetvexations]

And I can absolutely guarantee you no one would give a single flying fuck if a trans woman replaced a trans guy in a meme comic with herself. Because it's no big deal, and it's simply about finding something to be mad at the evil "TMEs" about or whatever. Truly, we must fight transphobia at the front lines! (Other trans people parodying meme comics)

Absolutely not lmao. But then it's fine, because, like, trans men are privlaged, so stealing their memes is like pirating a Disney movie, whereas stealing a transfem meme is practically snatching the food right out of a Victorian orphan's hands.

Are you not excited for the future where art styles are trademarked?

I'm still not entirely sure if I identify as a kinna non-binary or if I just feel myself to be a very butch transfem who likes using certain terms for myself to emphasize the unique nature of my femininity.

But I don't know what else to call it except for exorsexism when I get the five millionth side-eye for "AMAB trans woman," especially since I know people would go off the edge accusing me of being a TERF twenty times more if I said "male" like I actually want to.* Like, dadgum, can people not handle a girl choosing to identify in some way with a term traditionally associated with her body-type because she likes it without assuming she's another Blaire White?

Like this is that soul-gender shit I get riled up about, the word "male" isn't real! The ♂ is not a magic rune that wards against femininity! I can choose to identify with that and still be a woman, and when I enter a women's space while identifying openly as a male woman, that's going to piss TERFs off more than any of them ever could.

*I also identify myself as an AMAB trans woman to support AFAB trans women and other transfem folk, but I think using 'male' would do that just as well too

I DIDN'T KNOW IT HAD ANYTHING TO DO WITH TRANS PEOPLE EITHER

Eyyup. The safest queers always pretend the world outside the community is completely hypothetical so they can get down to the crucial business of praising them for breathing.

The comparisons to acephobia at least gives me hope things will get better, but I hope it's fucking soon.

It's the closest people who're privileged enough to care about meme theft get to dealing with things like that, of course it's basically the same to them, if they stepped outside their gated community for a second they'd have a religious experience like the Great Renunciation of Siddhartha Gautama.

Some day we'll find out what number comes after one.

<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

Why can't haired people make their own memes? Why must they consistently debald the memes of bald people?

It's different when it's transfems because, uh, well, radfems say so.

They really can't help themselves.

Apparently it's hypocritical of me to call that racist, though, because I once told a tankie to bark like a dog without even looking at their* profile. Like, I'm sorry I very generically insulted someone who turned out to be Black, I guess.

Also, I apparently harass Palestinian blogs, which is truly wild and I can only guess must come from me occasionally bringing up hypocrisy when I yell at tankies for being enthusiastically pro-genocide when they feel like it.

*I do not recall the pronouns this loser used

The issue you're noticing is that transfems don't get socially murdered nearly often enough for transradfems to sustain themselves, and they can't influence any real issues, so they have to make up problems to fuel the martrydom that places them above all other trans people.

Oh, that sounds spectacular! Kinna gross, but like, in a spectacular way!

They don't think it's possible for AFAB trans people to detransition, to them it's all just cis women pretending to be trans to rip them off and hurt them.

It's real fucking bad.

I'm very sorry anon, and I completely agree.

You'd be surprised by me not liking most modern art.

I'm really happy you have that, and that we can relate to each other. <3

Are Black people saying the "why this _ mad" meme is exclusive to Black people? Is that discourse that's happening?

[myragewillendworlds]

A lot of racists and misogynists, and a lot of people mad that eggs are more expensive than they were 4 years ago, and most no other strong political views besides these.

Eh, that's not the whole story, though. While Trump is insane and I just have no words for how baffling it is that such a massive amount of people is willing to vote for a pathologically lying, narcissistic, sociopathic, hateful, demented, criminal lunatic – there's also a reason why even the people he openly hates turned around to vote for him.

The left-wing (in much of Europe as well) has completely lost touch with their traditional working class following, having become too elitist or too expensive (attempting to revert climate change at this point comes with high costs, as scientists always predicted and warned for) for the working class to be able to identify themselves with anymore. Years of neoliberalism fucked us all over and the long-term solutions the left proposes cost too much money for the working class to be willing to bear in the short term. Meanwhile, right-wing populism promises quick, easy fixes, promises them their jobs back in dead industries, promises to make climate change go away by ignoring it, promises to lower taxes by burning some more fossil fuels, and manipulatively redirects their growing anger and frustration in the direction of whatever blameless group of people they happen to hate most at the time. Something very obvious that we've very obviously seen before, and people still run with it.

What's most hilarious about this though (or would be if it didn't come with such consequences) is that in turning away from the elitism of the left-wing, the working class decided that the non-elitist side to vote for was the born-rich, "small loan of a million dollars", wealthy business magnate and his good buddy, the literal richest man of the entire planet. Truly the side that understands and cares for your financial struggles.

What's also aggravating, because fuck it this is an essay now, is that people are too goddamn dumb to understand how anything works. Bush fucks over the economy, sends tons of people to their death, creates global chaos that will last for decades after, and Obama gets to inherit his mess. Trump fucks over the economy, lets god knows how many people die carelessly, sabotages international relations and collaborations, and Biden gets to inherit his mess. You can't turn that much destruction around and make it all okay in just a few years time. People expect the easy answers, think new leadership can just magically make it all better and if it's not immediately better, welp, time for the next populist asshole to give it a go! People blame Biden's presidency for their situations as if Trump had nothing to do with it, as if the whole world isn't currently dealing with high prices and lack of housing, and then turn around and vote for the one who created and will gladly worsen that mess in the first place. We'll never know how much worse people's situations would've been if these kind of morons had continued on their rampage, without the left-wing breaks in between that allowed for at least some normalcy to return.

TL;DR too bad that bullet missed its target.

[steamworkscogstone]

[Edit: Dec. 23rd 2024]

[LINKS TEMPORARILY BROKEN, APOLOGIES. WILL FIX SOON]

HEART THIS BEFORE YOU FOLLOW ME, PLEASE! It helps me to know who has and has not read this so I may direct their attention to it.

DNI: 18+ ONLY BLOG, No terfs and swerfs, no transmed truscum, no ageless blogs, Nothing Illegal, NO MINORS, Nobody who openly and actively hates, especially on the transgender community (which includes my non-binary siblings) DO NOT SELL ME SHIT, AND DO NOT SEND ME STUFF TO SIGNAL BOOST! I CANNOT HANDLE THAT STUFF MENTALLY, ANYMORE..

PLEASE READ MY PINS ON THIS POST, YA ADORABLE DEGENERATES. 😁

HEART THIS BEFORE FOLLOWING SO I KNOW WHO'S SAFE!! 😊 😊 😊

Ayyo, check these links before following and interacting, too!!:

So first up, I've put my goofy ass on the hellsite, and did a fun little selfie dump! (Maybe some tummy Tuesdays in the near future?)

Secound is an important thread of consciousness, please read with discretion and understand that I do not tag triggers (because I struggle with tagging as is. Anyway, so this is the bit ya wanna read before interacting with me)

Alright, so I have yet another link that is dealing with an answer to an anon, but it is extremely important as it gives better context to the post/s linked above: more Steamworks lore, yay..

(I apologize about the long winded text, but that's just how I do things. I'm a writer, at least in a texting format. 😅)

Warnings: I am a pro-shipper and anti-censorship, I love using the word queer and I identify as such, while also enjoying identifying the people I text with as such. I enjoy what I enjoy and I have heavy kinks. If any of these warnings are in your DNI or makes you uncomfortable, then please block me and do not report me.

I AM A HARRY POTTER MOVIE ENJOYER! I UNDERSTAND JK ROWLING IS A DEVILOUS PIECE OF SHIT AND EVEN THAT IS TOO KIND OF AN INSULT FOR HER! I WATCH THE MOVIES THRU 3RD PARTY MEANS, AND I REFUSE TO PAY FOR ANYTHING HARRY POTTER THAT IS NEW WHILE SHE IS ALIVE, AND WILL FIND ALTERNATIVE WAYS TO PLAY THE NEW GAMES BECAUSE THEY GENUINELY LOOK FUN. Please, please ask yourself why you decide to attack those, ESPECIALLY IN YOUR OWN COMMUNITY, over something they grew up with and actively love as an adult? We are all just trying to get through this life, and all have our own things that help us escape; we are already so divided and splintered, and so you actively hating your trans brothers and sisters, and nonbinary siblings (who barely make up 1 million on the United States' population already) is simply hurting too many people.

Peace, love, acceptance, and alternative means of coming to a peaceful resolution is what I desire in this world. A world that is already so painfully divided, whether that be by a screen or you actively choosing to hate, is just such a burden on those who will be trying so hard to make a name for themselves. Yes, I just pulled a "think of the children" because, seriously stating that seems so obvious and yet, too many people are dismissive of it when they are literally the future.

Do NOT come after me for my existence, and if you see I am following you and decide against the things I enjoy and my personal beliefs and message, then just block me. PLEASE DON'T REPORT ME.. 😖

Eh, fuck it: I'm making my hearted posts public again, and if you don't like it then leave and I know we're not chill with each other. Love ya still, even for those who do leave, or are too afraid to follow because of them having mutuals they really click with, but would absolutely shun them for enjoying what I absolutely adore! I SEE YOU!

[RAMBLING INCOMING]

Okay, so this is going to be my pinned post, and it's going to be a heavy work in Progress. I've gotten some feedback from a couple people, and well, I'm not okay with how stiff and forced my original pin came out. I know I can write something better and will when I have the time.

Name: Prefer Coggy or Golem while first interacting; more personal names given the closer we become.

Age: Currently 23 at the time of this edit. (2024)

Gender: Femboy/Tomgirl transfem mess of an existing baby femby. The body has been thru a physical transition, although difficult and uneasy, since 2018. We actually just recently marked the 6th year of being on whoremones. Most of us do lean more towards femininity than masculinity however, the hosts gender is ever evolving as the months go on. We have been on this wild and zany rollercoaster of The Gender Journey™ since 2016 when the host started socially transitioning at 15, and even today there is still heavy developments.

We obviously have a list of limits on our kinks and fetishes, however we do not feel comfortable sharing things just yet, as there are a lot of people we enjoy following, but seem to wish to shun those with certain fetishes by blocking them.

DESIRES ARE INHERENTLY NEUTRAL, AS MOST OF THEM ARE THING WE ARE BORN WITH THAT CANNOT BE TRANSFORMED OR REMOVED FROM ONES IDENTITY (such as gender and sexual identity). AS WE FORM LATER ON, KINKS AND FETISHES BECOME NEW DESIRES, AND THUS SUCH THINGS ARE INHERENTLY NEUTRAL AS WELL.

Need to update the tags. (It's a safe call to go off of what I've tagged one of my more recent personal posts or reblogs with text.)

Yeah, more to add later!

(List of things to add: Mutuals list, tags, stuff)

[luniellar]

Breathe Me (Garrick Tavis X OC/Reader) - Chapter 2 - The Empyrean Series Fanfiction

When Xaden Riorson and Garrick Tavis arrive at Samara, they are forced to prove themselves all over again. When Xaden heads off to see Violet at Basgiath since their dragons are mated, Garrick finds himself alone in this unfamiliar area trying to get his name established navigating fights and ambushes. He owed his life to the man.

One particular night when Xaden leaves for Basgiath, Garrick finds himself with a new company. One who starts turning his world upside down and giving him something, that isn't just the Xaden and rebellion, to fight for. ______________________________________

All rights to Rebecca Yarros for her original work and original characters. My scenes and characters are my own. ______________________________________

Contains: Iron Flame Spoilers Warnings: Language

Chapters: 1 | 2

Read on AO3 | Wattpad

Author Note: As I'm writing this (February 2024), Garrick's signet is not revealed in Iron Flame. For this story, I followed my theory about Garrick's signet which is Near Sight (opposite of Liam's Far Sight). Near sight can easily recognize emotion changes, whatever emotion someone displays Garrick will pick up. This also relates to his dragon (Chradh) who is able to locate certain objects and is sensitive to runes. Garrick uses this to quickly learn who is trustworthy and gain information about people's true intentions making him a strong asset and an exceptional fighter.

Chapter 2: The Feelings

< Garrick Tavis >

The sun from the morning was nowhere to be found and the clouds were looking seriously ominous today. Temperamental like this guy, I glanced over at Xaden and his expressionless face from the hard floor of the outdoor sparring field. Something was definitely on his mind. My first guess would be Violet related. 

I welcomed the breeze against my shirtless, overheating body as my mind wandered off to what Lei was up to. Her smile from the morning flashed across my mind and I exhaled. Maybe it was her hair? I knew that most female riders kept their hair short, braided, or tied up to keep it from getting caught, but Lei’s ponytail was long enough and always swaying from side to side, like it was tempting me to grab. Oh gods, I shouldn’t have thought that. 

From the side, Xaden threw a clean towel that landed directly on my face, dragging me out of my thoughts. Right, this was supposed to be a quick break before another set. “Thanks,” I muttered as I grabbed it and wiped the dripping sweat across my face. 

“Riorson!” A familiar voice called out, full of disgust with each syllable. Tightening my core, I peeled my upper body off the mat and saw that bitch from last night. Fuck, what was his name again? 

Lei’s sharp, venomous tone saying his name last night replayed in my mind. “Move along, Pratt.” 

Oh yeah, Pratt. 

I looked up to see Xaden turned towards him with a blank face across the field. He didn’t answer, he just stared. Then a second later, Xaden looked over at me and was that worry that just flashed across his face? Pressing his lips together, he looked towards Pratt’s direction again.

Did Xaden know Pratt? Maybe he was an old friend? I could see the gears turning in his head staring at the blonde boy. 

“Where the fuck were you last night?” Pratt shouted. 

I scoffed and shouted back at him. He didn’t even have the courage to walk closer to us. “Damn, Pratt. I don’t think you wanted an audience to witness your ass getting whooped.” 

“I would keep your thoughts to yourself if I were you,” Pratt said my name in the same disgust he did with Xaden’s. “Your days at Samara are getting shorter with each word.” What the fuck was his deal?

Before I could quip back, Pratt looked directly at me. “Oh and leave Lei alone. She isn’t into dirty traitors like you two.” Pratt walked off with his “friends” trailing behind him. Two of the guys behind him moved with uncomfort and I could immediately identify they were the same boys from last night. 

“Watch your back, Garrick. He plays dirty.” Xaden replied. From the tone of his voice I knew that it wasn’t a guess, it was a statement. 

“Good, I like it dirty anyways.” I muttered back, my body making a dense thud against the hard floor surface as I dropped in exhaustion. 

✦ ✦ ✦

Xaden and I managed to keep the score even until the very end. Maybe it was the years of training we did together and how we knew each other better than we knew ourselves? Every move I threw at the guy, he managed to block. Thanks to my signet I was able to see the way his eyes moved before a punch or a jab and countered each step. But, he was still able to get a good punch on my jaw right when my mind was starting to wander off. 

Chradh loved reminding me how I should be paying attention whenever Xaden broke through my concentration like that. 

“Lei! Can you help?” A voice called out on our way to the showers and my head immediately turned. I scanned the fields until I saw Lei running over to another rider with short blonde hair reaching down to pick up buckets off the floor. I made eye contact with the blonde rider’s green eyes. Her eyes widened and immediately tilted her head up at Lei, her eyes moving in my direction. She clearly knew me, but I didn’t know her. Shortly after Lei turned in my direction. 

Her shiny, dark as night ponytail tossed above her shoulders. The shorter strands of hair fell into place, framing around her round rosy cheeks. I couldn’t turn my eyes away from her as I stood there watching. The short haired rider said something to Lei and after a quick nod, Lei jogged over. 

“Hey! Do you have an outpost shift tonight?” She asked when she reached me. Her scent filled the space between us. I held my breath knowing that I could just drink her up. 

I nodded. “It’s mine this time around.” 

“Great,” she gave me a gentle smile. She opened her mouth to say something, but glanced behind her looking back at the green eyed rider who was struggling to carry two buckets in each hand. “Oh gosh, Iris! Wait!” Lei turned to me. “I’ll catch you later, okay?”

Before I could reply, she turned and jogged back. I felt a hand hit my bare back. 

“Do me a favor and remember to breathe,” Xaden sighed, walking ahead of me. 

✦ ✦ ✦

Fuck, this outpost was so small. The moment I showed up for the shift, Lei was already in here marinating every corner of this space with her delicious scent. Thank gods there was a breeze blowing tonight circulating the air around us. Her warm vanilla scent stirred around me. I’ll need to ask Xaden about an olfactory dampening rune next week. 

That’s going to be a fun conversation. Chradh said amusingly.��  

The conversation started with us catching up on what we did during the day. I learned that Iris, the short haired blonde who I briefly saw earlier today, was her closest friend here. I told her about Xaden and the bond we shared for many years. You would have to be blind to not see our rebellion relics. So I told her what I could without bringing up Aretia or the impeding doom Xaden carried on his shoulders. Lei carefully watched my expressions, smiling and encouraging when appropriate, She always made she didn’t step outside her boundaries.

I asked about her signet and she told me that it was a form of distance wielding. She wasn’t sure if she could do long distance wielding because her power burns out when channeled for a long time. It surged quickly in powerful consecutive bursts. When mentors said she drew the short end of the stick, she learned to hone the power to her advantage. She could shorten distances so fast that it gives off the illusion that she was teleporting in short distance increments. They must have had their head stuck up in their ass not to see how lethal she could be.

For the most part, it sounded like she trained on her own. Last year was when she learned that she could travel more than just her surrounding areas only if she could paint in her mind where exactly she needed to go. I made a mental note to ask her if she wants to join us on a sparring session one day. She had so much potential in that small body of hers and I wanted to see more.

Near the end of our shift, I built up courage to ask her. “Um,” I started. “Can I ask you a personal question?” 

“What’s on your mind, Garrick?” She smiled, tilting her head to the side. 

“How does someone like you end up knowing a guy like Pratt anyways?” I asked cautiously. I watched her gentle smile drain from her face, like a sad memory was dragging her back down. Her blue irises trembled with hesitation as she held my gaze. 

“We were engaged,” she started, looking ahead at the mountains. “We met as a part of a political alliance. I don’t come from wealth or power, Garrick. I come from a small, insignificant island in the Emerald Sea.” She lowered her head.

Like Xaden and Cat. Power was never something I craved. Sure, I saw the allure of it. But when you watched public executions of hundreds, including your family, for challenging power, you learn survival is more important. You do everything you can do to survive. You survive to remember each name, each story, and each face as a big fuck you. Maybe I was like Lei, I just didn’t like bullies. 

One of the many reasons I chose you, Big One. Chradh echoed with pride in my mind. 

Lei let out a soft exhale. “When I was 10, my father realized that the island resources were finite and started inviting aristocrats from the Continent to create trade routes. Pratt’s family was the first to visit. Within days of them leaving, his family made us an offer for an arranged betrothal under the condition that I survive the Threshing when I turned 20.”

“Threshing?” My voice rose in anger and my hands curled into fists. “Lei, you could have died! Did your family know how dangerous that was?! Pratt gave you a fucking death sentence!” I broke my composure. Why was I so angry? 

She laughed a short, gentle laughter turning back to me. “Honestly, no. No one knew about the Threshing where I was from. Riders and dragons were stories that I only heard from elders in the island when I was growing up. Myths and legends with heroes, not a girl from an island somewhere.” She paused, muscles around her eyes tenses and her eyes were focused like she was calling for Cosheirm in her mind. 

I watched as she found her peace again. Cosherirm, the word for harmony. Lei found her harmony through Cosheirm. Her pale skin against the stark contrast of her dark as night hair. She was beautiful. 

“But Garrick, if I was given the decision again knowing what I know, I will always take the path to Cosheirm. Even if I wasn’t guaranteed that Cosheirm would choose me again.” Her determination was so strong that I could see an aura of confidence cloaked her body like a glowing shield. She was glowing.

“Lei,” I started and she got up from her wooden seat. 

There were sounds of footsteps coming from the outside. “It looks like the next patrols will be coming soon. Come on, I’ll walk you back.”

✦ ✦ ✦

"You have to admit. If this walking to my bedroom becomes a regular occurrence, people are going to start talking." I said as we headed toward my barrack for a second night in a row.

"You need to check that masculinity, Garrick. I can help if you need more practice getting down on your knees again," she shrugged.

Oh, we were on a joking basis now. 

"Hey, I'm not complaining. I've done it plenty of times, the whole escorting and getting on the knee thing... for other reasons," I glanced down to be greeted by her rosy cheeks. "I was just saying that I could get used to this."

It was Lei's looked flustered as she cleared her throat. "Anyone who sees us is going to think you're taking me to your room. We can stick to that story if you're worried about what people say. Deal?"

"Oh, I give zero shits about what anyone thinks about me, Lei. I just didn't know that was what you wanted others to think about us," I teased. 

An audible groan came from Lei. "Garrick, you're impossible."

 

✦ ✦ ✦

Wake, Big One. 

I rolled over in my bed, my eyes still closed. What’s wrong, Chradh? 

I sense something unfamiliar in the south clearing of outside of Samara. In the pit of stomach, I felt it too. I’ve felt this before.

Before Chradh could finish, my body was already up. I quickly got dressed and strapped on my rider leather. I walked over to the doorway and grabbed the two swords propped against my desk. In the same motion I’ve been doing for years, I crossed them on my back.

Wyverns. And I sense a venin, Big One. 

[hiso03]

I don't know why, making hal's dad abusive and also the main reason he doesn't feel fear is cuz the guardian removes his ability to feel fear is kinda a disservice to his character, and imo he actually more like a wooby that all

his ability to overcome fear is really interesting on its own and idk man

Lately I feel like they're trying to take away all of Hal's character development and background and I personally find it super unfair and silly, since Hal has an incredible background; but I feel like ever since Hal came back to life and with the 2011 reboot they've been trying to "rewrite" him in a pretty bad way.

There are good and redeemable things, yes; but there are many comics that I have read about him where they try to change his origin story, his motives and especially his relationship with his father.

From the beginning I am not convinced that Martín was an abusive father, and I feel that it does not even completely match the idea that Hal admired him or wanted to be like him.

People do not want to be like their abusers and many times if they want to be like them it is to be able to defend themselves against them, not out of admiration and longing like Hal.

Hal just wanted to connect with his father after losing him, he wanted to feel close to him.

If his father had been an abuser, Hal probably would not have tried so hard to be as much as Martin, and perhaps on more than one occasion he would have let out a comment or in some situation he would have let it be seen that Martin was an abuser, but believe me, those things are noticeable even if you don't say it explicitly, there are very exact phrases or words that let you know that type of information.

The reason they try to explain to us why Hal is not afraid is absurd, not very organic and not very credible.

The reason that Hal cannot feel fear, which was linked to his past with the death of his father, is tragic and traumatic, which gives that depth to the character and allows you to empathize with him, feel a little sorry and be able to understand him better. because there are people who can identify with that.

A traumatic event can fuck up your entire psyche.

But on the other hand, the explanation that a cosmic force came and took away his fear sounds stupid and empty.

But honestly it doesn't surprise me that they do this to Hal, they already did it with his season as "The Spectre" and when it was Parallax, the Parallax thing still bothers me a lot because it literally invalidated all of his feelings, history, bonds, trauma and reduce that whole arc to "It's just that a cosmic parasite took over him and that's why he became evil and got gray hair."

Just don't be surprised that they later remove another super important element from its story development and change it for something emptier.

[etherealspacejelly]

Neopronouns are not even real pronouns. A pronoun is a noun used to describe a living being. They/Them is fine, they are real pronouns used in the English language. And yes, while I think there is no possible way for someone who has boy or girl genes to actually be non-binary, I will respect them as a person. But, neopronouns, however, are way over the top. I’ve seen people online who identify as like, xe/xem. That’s ridiculous, they’re not even a part of the English language. I’ve seen one person who identified as shark/sharkself. That is so annoying. I’m not gonna call you “shark” bro. Nobody is gonna call you that, except for maybe people as delusional as you. So, I’m conclusion, yes, neopronouns are ridiculous and stupid and unnecessary. Whoever uses them certainly needs mental help, but instead we are celebrating and giving them parades and telling them it’s fine and not stupid at all to identify as a fucking shark.

That being said, if we Normalize these outrageous neopronouns, I don't think I'll be able to handle meeting another three or more person with unique neopronouns, I don’t think I'll care about memorizing them if we don’t get along. I can only imagine that inside their head they are going like “Why can’t everyone understand me? why can’t anyone respect me? why can’t anyone get along with me? me… me…me…”. This is just starting to become a narcissistic play.  It’s just sad that you yourself are intentionally creating a situation that excludes you from other people. You are making yourself too different, you eventually get depressed, commit die and well, will anybody care about you in the end?

Pronouns replace nouns and they are a part of a language. Not something we just make up because we think we are more special than anyone else.

Also, this stuff only appeals to children, or adults with some sort of arrested development. No mature human being would want to go by “cupcakeself”.

We all have names. If you want to rebel against pronouns why can’t you just use your name? Be “Johnself” or “Sallyself” or something people can remember. We aren’t going to trouble ourselves to memorize some made up nounself words.

You’re lucky if we can remember your name let alone some made up ridiculousness.

I hope everyone with neopronouns die.

hey anon. anon. just a question for you. does that Actually Genuinely affect you? like at all? do you know anyone in real life who uses neopronouns? or is it just people online who are literally just minding their business. hmm?

also. all words are made up dingus it came free with your fucking language. we make up words all the time. selfie is in the dictionary now. it wasnt 50 years ago. does that make it not a real word? no. it does not. because language is a tool used by human beings to describe ourselves and the world around us, and to communicate ideas and knowledge. do you think we just. found a dictionary under a rock one day?

if neopronouns bother you that much, just block people who use them. block the neopronoun tag. or perhaps just get off tumblr. touch some grass. focus on a real problem instead of people online using words you dont like. there are people dying right now anon. the planet is on fire. sharkself pronouns arent hurting you.

also. you said that neopronouns only appeal to children, then said that all neopronoun users should die. so... you think children should die? you want children to kill themselves anon? is that what you want? you seem like a lovely person /s

and seeing as you mentioned nonbinary people. you know that there are more sexes than just male and female right? like biologically. they taught you male and female in school to simplify things for your developing brain, like how they tell you that electrons are particles and you cant square root -1. but once you start studying these things at a more in depth level, you realise that they arent that simple at all. biological sex exists on a spectrum. it is a collection of attributes that can behave any number of ways. including hormones, genitalia, chromosomes, secondary sex characteristics, and more.

furthermore, gender and sex are not the same thing. but i cant be bothered to explain that to you because you will refuse to understand it anyway, and ive wasted enough time talking to you as it is.

if you send me anything like this again im just going to delete it, but i wanted to at least try and talk some sense into you first.

[vintage-bentley]

"Fruity" isn't even the worst of it. They've graduated to calling themselves f*ggots now.

Every time I see that, I KNOW it's a larping straight girl, and I wonder if she knows that every gay person who lays eyes on her blog wants to slap her in her "he / they achillean transmasc" face.

I don't even care if it's not feminist of me to say so, at this point. I just want every one of these girls to know that we may not say anything, but every single actual homosexual she encounters is thinking "fuck you, you stupid bitch". We're too polite and / or sick of the drama to say it, but make no mistake, that's how we feel.

Beneath our silence is a deep, deep well of disgust.

I’ve seen that, and it upsets me so much. It’s so insane that “fruity” took off as just a funny word to say online. Even without the derogatory history, it would still be homophobic because to find the use of “fruity” funny, you have to find the idea of a man being gay to be funny and not just a neutral and natural thing. But nobody even stops to think about that! They just find it so fun to mock gay men every chance they get.

So because of the complete ignorance to the homophobia of “fruity”, I’m really not surprised to see more and more women throwing around the f slur like candy. It really disgusts me that so many straight people are so comfortable being openly homophobic, and get to hide behind “teehee it was just a joke! And I’m a nonbinary transmasc gay dude so it’s okay!”

Although some of them don’t even hide behind a trans identity. They think that identifying as “queer” gives them a pass to all homophobic slurs and derogatory terms. Even if “queer” to them means “greyromantic heterosexual” or some bullshit.

This is probably an unpopular feminist opinion, but I really don’t care about being all kind and nice to homophobes. I don’t care if they’re women. If a woman or girl is running around calling every gay man—real or fictional—she sees “fruity”, and calling herself and others the f slur, yeah I do want to slap her. I do want to yell at her and tell her she’s a disgusting ignorant homophobe. I do want to shake her and tell her to stop treating homosexual oppression like a fucking playground.

I see a lot of feminists talking about how we have to approach these women/girls with kindness and patience because “oh, they’re just misguided and have so much internalised misogyny”…but the truth is that no amount of internalised misogyny results in homophobia. Maybe it results in internalised lesbophobia, which is why I feel less anger towards trans identified homosexual females. But it does not result in thinking it’s fun to use homophobic slurs as a heterosexual. Maybe it results in wishing you were a gay man, but it does not result in having enough ignorance and entitlement that you actually believe you are a gay man and demand that everyone play along.

Homosexuals are absolutely exhausted. We are tired of the constant homophobia from all sides of the political compass. We are tired of telling conservatives that we aren’t perverted sinners, and then having to turn around to tell liberals that we also aren’t weird quirky queers. We just want to be left alone. Many of us simply don’t have the patience anymore to take a deep breath and be nice to the people who are making being gay so tedious right now.

“Beneath our silence is a deep, deep well of disgust” is such a wonderful way to put it. I wish that every trans identified homophobe understood this. That gay people aren’t silent because we agree with them: we’re silent because they’ve forced us into silence with their power as the heterosexual majority. And we’re angry about it.

[princessefemmelesbian]

The Lesbophobia on this site is really getting out of hand.

All you have to do is say that lesbians do not fuck men in order to be attacked, dogpiled, and called a terf! It’s sickening!

Take this asswipe for example:

I see lesbophobes are intentionally deciding not to have basic reading comprehension.

“Does your ability to fuck men just disappear” Ain’t nobody said that lesbians are physically incapable of fucking men. When we say that lesbians can’t fuck men we’re saying that we don’t want to because we’re not sexually attracted to them. And we’re saying that if you’re a woman who fucks men then you can’t be a lesbian by definition. You can’t be a lesbian and also enjoy fucking men. Stop intentionally warping and misrepresenting our words because you want to jump through hoops to erase our identity. You’re all so fucking stupid. And at this point I think you assholes know you don’t have an argument so that’s why you have to resort to these “semantics”.

“Lesbians can do whatever they want including fucking the occasional man if it makes them happy” y’all are just blatantly spouting false bullshit at this point omfg what part of LESBIANS AREN’T ATTRACTED TO MEN DON’T YOU FUCKING UNDERSTAND?! No fucking men doesn’t make us happy because then we wouldn’t be lesbians fool, but you know who it does make happy? Men. Because men fantasize about getting into lesbians’ pants and robbing the one group of women and non-binary people who do not desire or identify as men of that right to unavailability to men. They get off to the idea of a woman they are attracted to but who isn’t attracted to their gender having that lack of attraction overridden and being forced to make themselves accessible to men. And you guys are giving these men more validity, so yeah. Thanks for that.

”You don’t speak for all lesbians” bitch I know for a fact that all lesbians are unattracted to men and want nothing whatsoever to do with men in the slightest. We don’t want to have sex with or marry or date a man whether cis trans nonbinary or whatever the fuck. Because we’re not attracted to men, which because you’re a lesbophobic idiot I apparently have to fucking spell out for you. Show me a “lesbian” who is attracted to men and I can guarantee you that they aren’t actually a lesbian because ACTUAL LESBIANS aren’t into men. That’s just how it is. That’s just life. It’s our sexuality and if you can’t respect that then just go step on a Lego.

God I am so sick and tired of y’all.

Also this dumb bitch @/mlembug decided it would be a good idea to screenshot my friends’ posts about lesbophobia, and this other idiotic fucking clown named @/theotin reblogged from mlembug and tagged it #radfems. When all the posts did was say that lesbians are not attracted to men, to not interact with them if you are a bi “lesbian” or “les”boy, and that the lgbt community needs to pay more attention to lesbophobia in the community and that lesbians shouldn’t be the only ones calling lesbophobia out. One of them was even explicitly in support of trans people and including trans women in lesbianism! (Although I’m friends with these people so I know for a fact that they are all trans-accepting and despise transmisogyny, just like most of the lesbian community, mind you) And yet they were all called radfems for the vile sin of being lesbians and calling out lesbophobia. At this point you guys are just saying the quiet part out loud. You all hate lesbians for existing. It doesn’t matter if we’re explicitly against transphobia of all sorts. You don’t actually care about defending trans people. You just hate lesbians for not being attracted to men and try to pretend/convince us that we are and you’re unashamed of it. Disgusting.

I can’t believe how widespread the lesbophobia on this site is. But then again, I’m also not surprised. Keep entertaining yourselves with your pathetic little daydreams that lesbians can fuck men because you’d rather have something in common with cishet men who watch corrective rape porn than us. Just don’t be surprised when the “mean” lesbians don’t wanna be friends with your stupid, annoying, sorry asses.

[stardew-obsessed-ora]

I've been really busy, so I haven't been able to write anything I've wanted to in the past little bit. Regardless, I'd really like to expand on the concept of Trans Morris and my HCs revolving around him. They've been sitting in my brain for a while, and I'd love to share them with the audience.

Word Count: 1.5k! CW/TW: uhhhh not sure what to put here but Has themes of self doubt, dysphoria, and less upbeat societal stuff around the beginning OH ALSO UNSAFE BINDING IS BRIEFLY MENTIONED.

୨﹒Trans Morris HCs

︶꒦꒷︶꒷꒦︶♡︶︶꒦꒷︶꒷︶︶꒦꒷

- I see Morris as a Trans guy who experiences dysphoria. (He/Him) - I imagine he first realized he didn't align with his agab as a young child. He realized he had more of a connection toward masculinity and toward other boys, but it never really clicked until he was older. All he knew was that he didn't like wearing anything overly feminine, and that he preferred to wear his hair up to make it look short. I imagine as a kid he’d pitch an utter fit being forced to wear any kind of dress, but it was just brushed off as him being a defiant kid. - Its not that his parents wouldn’t have been supportive, they just didn’t understand what his issue was, and were left even more confused when kid him tried to explain it. - He went through his teen years knowing something was off but never quite understanding what it was. There weren’t answers for him in any of the books he looked through, nor were there answers around him. It was isolating. It felt right being mistaken for a guy when his hair was up, and it felt mortifying when people corrected themselves. But it shouldn’t have. Why did it feel like that? - He was raised entirely oblivious to LGBTQ+ identities. After all, he was raised sometime in the late 80s/early 90s. Identifying as anything within the community was still seen as a taboo, so to say. He had heard about it in passing, and even heard about it in a somewhat positive light from a few people, but was too nervous to look into it himself. For every positive thing he heard, there were dozens of negative things. I heavily HC this man as having been bullied. It was terrifying to him. He was terrified of the possibility of being something that wouldn’t be accepted. Of something which was such a large part of other peoples’ existence being something that caused his more turmoil. A part of him felt like he was just looking for attention, and the other part felt like it’d be a dead end and that he’d end up worse off than he already was. He’d likely look into it too much and mislabel himself. Self doubt! Confusion! Imposter Syndrome! - Sometime in his teens he started feeling horrible dysphoria and ended up giving himself one of those choppy botched haircuts on numerous occasions. - Dysphoria hoodies were practically an everyday outfit. If anyone asked, he’d just tell them that hoodies and sweatpants were comfier to be in. - He fell victim to the bandage binding trap. He wanted to try to use anything to hide his chest, and so, he tried to bandage bind. Obviously after a bit of trial and error he realized this was an outright horrible idea and stopped bothering, resorting right back to the hoodie grind. - He started fully transitioning sometime when he was in his 20s. - He had absolutely no idea what the fuck being trans was, nor what how he felt was considered. He was nervous over bringing up how he felt, as it seemed entirely alien. He felt like it wasn't worth bringing up to anyone, and that it was in his head, really. If his parents didn’t know what he was talking about, if none of his peers understood, then clearly the issue was him. Right? He didn't know what transness was until he caught a conversation from a coworker within his department about it and realized their experiences and emotions aligned with his.

- Bro was standing there in his Joja apron thingy like :O.

- He didn’t confront them about it or anything, but knowing someone else felt similar to how he did was enlightening. It felt like there might’ve been people out there who understood his experiences, and that he wasn’t alone. There were people like him, and they were thriving.

- Eventually he’s able to find more information and resources pertaining to his feelings and he looks into LGBTQ+ identities as a whole. This is when he’s finally able to seek gender affirming care for himself, and also be able to better understand himself as a whole.

- The day this man started binding a weight was seemingly lifted off of his shoulder. It was more difficult for him to find a binder at first due to his size, but when he did… He stared at himself in the mirror for a solid 10 minutes in disbelief. It was his first ever experience with gender euphoria, and he could have cried on the spot.

- Coming out to his parents was another weight off of his shoulders. Well- after the long-winded explanation he had to give. His parents weren’t unsupportive, but they were entirely clueless like he was. It took a lot of examples and carefully expanding on concepts for them to finally start wrapping their head around his identity. They’re still a bit confused, but they’ve got the spirit!

- He actually let his mom help him with figuring out his preferred name! His dad rushed in to give his own input and ultimately they decided on his current name as one he liked :3 

- Pre-T his voice was lower on the register, but after taking testosterone his voice noticeably changed. He didn’t have to force a lower voice when speaking anymore. Of course, he did end up making it a habit to force a higher voice around people he didn’t quite trust anymore. At least until it was difficult to.

- Adjusting to testosterone injections was… not fun! I don’t headcanon he necessarily has a fear of needles, but he does hesitate every fucking time he gives himself a shot if there isn’t a distraction around for him to focus on. - bro has definitely done his T shot in a dingy ass joja restroom before

- I personally headcanon that even as a lower ranking Joja Employee he didn’t have much of anyone to speak to, so there wasn’t really anyone for him to come out to aside from his parents.

- He worked overtime constantly so that he could eventually afford top surgery.

- Post OP was even better than he could’ve imagined. After getting over the soreness of the procedure and resting for as many days as he could before the Joja demons wrangled him back into work, he stared at himself in the mirror and just grinned. Seeing himself the way he had always wanted to look was everything he could’ve dreamed of and more. He felt sheer gender euphoria and if it wasn’t for the fact that he was still sore as hell from surgery he would’ve probably pranced around.

- He was able to walk around his house with a shirt off more often, if not, almost all the time during the hotter seasons.

- Over the years I imagine he grew into his identity more and came to be really proud of who he is, and what he’s been through. Though, he still prefers only bringing his identity up to people he can trust. He’s still skittish over the thought of being chastised by others and still worries about the possibility of being outed to someone he can��t trust. Hate him for being a corporate drone, don’t hate him for who he is!

- He still experiences dysphoria, but it isn’t even remotely as bad as it was in his younger years. He can still be found in blanket-nests on the off day though, and he’s definitely snuck into a hoodie after work on numerous occasions. Why doesn't he wear a hoodie during work hours, you may ask? He's a FORMAL man who craves FORMALITY and STYLE. Removing his suit on work hours would be like removing a part of his soul, it'd be embarrassing stepping out and being seen as so informal for once.

- He looks at his surgery scars fondly, thinking of how far he’s come and how much farther he’ll inevitably come. - Coming out to any friend he makes is ultimately nerve-wracking for him, but he always says it with such a prideful, soft smile. - Despite being more discreet about his identity, he would 1000% be happy helping younger trans folk figure out their identities and help them grow into themselves. - He's not the best boss in the world, but by god is he great when it comes to inclusivity and making sure everyone is heard and accommodated and heard on that department. He's the guy who would absolutely risk his job yelling at some executive over their backwards ass views. Yes, he's a corporate suck-up, but he's not a big enough one to let that slide. - Bro absolutely reps that tacky Joja Brand Pride Merchandise every pride month. (and all year, for that matter. pride is an all year affair and hes letting it be known no matter how awful the mug is) - Eventually, with a lot of hesitation on his end, he openly comes out as trans and is greeted with just about nothing but support from the acquaintances he has. It took him by surprise for sure, but he could've swore he viewed the valley in a much softer light that day, and even moreso post community center. - After this, he's able to go to the beach topless, which was one of his longtime future goals. Not only does it feel reaffirming, but its the marking of him fully coming into everything regardless of his age. Plus, no longer would the days of a tank top and socks and sandals remain!

[freelanceexorcist]

FFVII Rebirth spoilers under the cut.

OK, so I was off the mark in a good bit of my speculation about Ore and Watashi Sephiroth. Way, way off the mark for some of it.

And from now on, I’ll identify the two as Glenniroth for who he was impersonating most of the time and Jenovaroth for who he has latched onto and is probably in a scenario where one doesn’t know where he ends and she begins.

I’m sticking with my feeling that Glenniroth is Chaotic Neutral, just currently on the darker end of the moral spectrum. I thought I would be bummed if this turned out to be the case, but it’s the opposite. I love this version of him. Like, a lot. He’s so deliciously wicked I just can’t help myself. The verbal evisceration of Rufus? The sarcastic clapping at the end? Using Terms of Endangerment on Cloud? Making him bring it in just to fuck with his head? Sassy, manipulative and rage-fueled Sephiroth is the Sephiroth I never knew I wanted so badly.

Jenovaroth? He’s cooked. Blotto. Pants-on-head fried. His eggs are well and truly scrambled. Not even playing the same sport as his pre-Nibelheim self, let alone being in the same league. And there’s no coming back from even a little of that. However…

He does cartoonishly over-the-top horrible and evil things, yes. But is he truly evil in the purest sense? See, that’s not a word I like to use lightly and I reserve it for the types of characters who do heinous things because it gratifies them or because of greed. There’s a difference between an antagonist killing a shit ton of people with names and dialogue in service of a cause they think is worth it and someone doing it because they get off on it or because they profit from it. And then, of course, there’s the Chaotic Evil alignment. If Jenova is a member of the Gi tribe like she’s implied to be to me, that complicates the issue. More on this later.

Before I continue, I should explain how I interpret Chaotic Neutral in fiction outside D&D.

A Chaotic Neutral character’s motivation is freedom, but I think it’s also survival. They are unfettered. They don’t give a fuck. They align with anyone who can help them get the job done and help them stay alive, and don’t concern themselves with these people’s moral standing. They are morally dubious themselves. They may align themselves with either the good guys or the bad guys just so see what it feels like. The lighter ones may operate by a personal code of conduct or honor, but the ones on the darker end of the spectrum-which is where I think Glenniroth currently is-tend not to.

Torching Nibelheim was a horrible thing to do and something he can’t take back. So was killing everyone else’s pretend girlfriend in his universe, wherever that may be. But the point of divergence for him appears to be that he either didn’t cleave to Jenova, or at some point broke away from her.

See, I think it’s the former, because a common trait of Chaotic Neutral characters is that they can be solitary. They don’t need anyone else. They may have friends and people that they like, but they prefer to go their own way on their own terms.

With Glenniroth, we don’t know how his version of Nibelheim went down, so it could be that he was thinking of all the people who betrayed and abandoned him, disabused himself of the notion that Jenova would never do the same, and said “you know what? Fuck you, too” when he was halfway up the mountain. And off he went to do whatever he wanted.

Along the way, perhaps he also abandoned the notion that he was Cetra. After all, when was the last time he heard the planet speak? The scientists must have been mistaken about what they found in the rock layer. So much to his dismay, he realizes that while he is different from everyone else, he is human.

This doesn’t make him feel any better, because he hates most other humans now. To him, they’re his abusers and his manipulators. They’re the ones who kept him on a leash, used him, tortured him as a child, treated him like a piece of meat or made him an object of mindless hero worship and unachievable expectations. He can count on one hand all of the people in his life that he thought he could rely on, and all of them either died or turned their backs on him. The world’s small towns are safe from him for now, though, because he’d die happy if he never had to interact with anyone again.

His act in Nibelheim didn’t burn away his sadness, loneliness, compassion, kindness or loyalty. Those things aren’t gone forever, they’re just in a cellar with no stairs in the bottom of a locked file cabinet in a disused lavatory with a sign on the door saying “beware of leopard.” They’re shoved so far down inside him, James Cameron would have to get into one of his submersibles and hit bottom in order to find them again. Now he’s a 6’6” mountain of disdain and spite, and it shows in all of the interactions we see.

But along the way, while enjoying the blissful solitude that comes from extreme misanthropy and not giving a fuck, he finds out that the planet is dying. He wouldn’t have known this before, because why would Shinra ever tell him that? Why would they even care as long as it was all black in the ledger? Those survival instincts kick in, and his mission is now to save the planet. Not because of any newfound caring or respect for humans, but because if it dies, he has to wander a barren husk as a displaced ghost until the heat death of the universe. He says so himself in the Edge of Creation.

Much to what is most certainly his dismay, he realizes he needs humans. Or more to the point, he needs to use humans for his plan to save the planet to work. He needs to eliminate Shinra, and decides that another war between Wutai and Shinra is what will do it. And it will be so huge and devastating that the people will come together out from under Shinra’s thumb and heal the world. And this time, the shoe is on the other foot, because Sephiroth’s about to become the demon of Midgar. Shinra’s going down. Surely Lord Godo and any surviving Wutai soldiers would be willing to bury the hatchet long enough to see that happen so they can rebuild.

Now, this isn’t him having an I’d Like to Teach the World to Sing moment, oh no. Thousands, if not hundreds of thousands of people will die, but eh. Not his problem. That’s food for the Lifestream that will sustain the planet a little while longer. That’s all that matters. All he needs to do is rattle some sabers, plant a few false flags and voila, humans will be chomping at the bit to do what they do best: kill, hurt and betray each other. Out of that could come the unity needed to reject mako, find a more sustainable source of energy and leave the planet alone so she can recover.

This isn’t to say that this version of Sephiroth is permanently on the darker edge of morality. The thing about Chaotic Neutral characters, is that their moral fluidity can sometimes solidify given certain circumstances. Don’t get me wrong, the man he was before Nibelheim is gone. I think the best we’re going to see from him is some kind of anti-hero, and I’m not talking about the cool 90s kind. We’re talking more Byronic Hero from this guy or one of the darker dishes on the Anti-Hero menu. That’s sometimes what happens to these types of characters in fiction, and it can make them even more interesting, not less, because there’s a chance for real character development. He’ll still be a dick, of course, but I wouldn’t have it any other way.

Assuming that’s what’s happening in Glenniroth’s case, of course. They could throw us yet another curveball and have him in cahoots with Jenovaroth for all we know. That doesn’t seem likely, though, as their goals don’t align.

I’ll end this now, because I’ve rambled long enough. Thank you for reading if you chose to do so. Maybe I’ll post the next part about Jenovaroth, maybe I won’t. It all depends on how I feel when I get home after that fuckwit from Field Services has had another go at me on email and Teams messages. I went to a good school, but that school wasn’t Hogwarts, Karen.

[canichangemyblogname]

Someone explain this to me like I’m 3. Does heterosexual not refer to men who are exclusively attracted to women and women who are exclusively attracted to men? If you don’t have a gender, you aren’t a man or a woman, no? Can your partner be het if you do not fall into the binary? Is this a dumb question? Like— yeah— anyone can call themselves het, I’m not the fucking police, but it also seems to me like an act of de/misgendering? I suppose it’s not if that’s how you personally identify, but if I’m telling an agender person that they’re het because of who they’re dating, then it certainly is because I’m implying they’re one of the binary genders dating the “opposite” gender. This suggestion— to me— is giving the same vibes as those narrow minded folk who claim that enbies are, in essence, just straight and simply “looking for attention.”

Also, poll options don’t allow you to have this long of an answer as an option. You are limited in your characters, so I could not fit the entire definition of “gay” into the box: men, the men-adjacent, the men-aligned, and non-women who love men, the men-adjacent, the men-aligned, and non-women. You’re just going to have to infer for yourself based on ✨ vibes ✨ whether you do or do not fit into a category. Especially as I was given only 12 option slots at— like— 60 characters or less.

Also, you’re going to argue that specifically naming certain identities under the non-binary umbrella is a more valid way to word this poll, but then limit the identities you name from under that umbrella? What about trigender, bigender, demigirl, demiboy, genderflux, etc? Like— no— this would not make more sense than to just say “Nonbinary spectrum,” because then I’d be naming certain identities at the exclusion of others. Believe it or not, sometimes an umbrella term *is* more inclusive. Especially as I have 12 option slots at about 60 characters or less.

Like… please just use the “nuance” button. That’s why it is there. I understood there are limitations to a tumblr poll.

“Actually, this poll would be better if you included [insert 20 variations] when you only have 12 slots to begins with. And also if you excluded romantic attraction, as this is a poll purely about sexual attraction.” Would it tho? “I think you should use different terms as ‘bi’ is transphobic and there are terms more inclusive of multisexuality.” Can I kick you?

I also hate that this is critiquing my choice to use the identity labels “gay” and “lesbian” in the poll, instead proposing that I should have specified a gender binary here. “Gay” and “lesbian” aren’t inherently binary labels that can always simply be interchanged with “man” and “woman.” People who fit into those labels also have a complex relationship with gender that cannot simply be expressed via the simple binary, even if they do identify within the binary or “appear” to fit within it. EX: it is not uncommon to meet a lesbian who goes by she/her and will tell you her gender is “lesbian,” and that this is not interchangeable with “woman” because of how societies make straightness a prerequisite for inclusion into womanhood. Some of these things have complex histories and very personal meanings, and I made the conscious choice to use these terms because of that. Same goes for my conscious choice to use “bisexual” instead of the label your proposed. It is LGBTQ, not HHMTQ.

—Sincerely a gay trans man who does not fit into the binary gender spectrum (but who is still a gay man)

[banavalope]

Not to be rude but it’s not really ridiculous for somebody to get prickly when you reblog an article that whines about people softblocking the author for being fine with somebody creating erotic pedophiliac content.

I want to tell you that I genuinely appreciate you being the first of, like, anybody to actually tell me what your interpretation of the article was. It gives me a jumping off point for something I've been thinking about all day, which if you're not in the mood for that feel free to tune out after the first paragraph responding directly to you. Otherwise, I'm just using this as an opportunity to open the floor for discussion.

That was not my takeaway from that article, nor has that been the takeaway I've seen other people have, including people I had to ask in my real life about it. I assumed I must have read it wrong by the strong reaction I got. So I would say that, from my perspective, it was in fact very ridiculous. I also respectfully disagree with your interpretation. To even call it whining I find is an incredibly poor read of it. Maybe there's some layer of discourse I'm not privy to, they left names out so I can't investigate these accused artists for myself.

But this perfectly segues us to what I really want to talk about. The entire article is from a japanese artist aimed at a japanese audience, explaining how the word "proship" is an american fandom centric term that has no specific meaning, and therefore cannot be taken at face value. I understand the people coming at me for reblogging it feel that we all unanimously agree proship specifically refers to being pro incest/pedophilia, but I regret to inform you it's not as unanimous as you think.

As someone who was around in 2015 when the words "proship" and "anti" started to enter the common fandom vernacular, the muddling of what proship actually meant can be pinpointed to bad actors in the MHA twitter fandom at the time, popularizing the use in order to attack people that shipped BakuDeku, or fans who wanted Endeavor to have a redemption arc. This is when the meaning of being "proship" or "anti" began to get extremely conflated.

I'll take a step back real quick to say that the words "pro shipper" and "anti shipper" have been used since the 90s to mean, quite simply, someone who wants to talk about shipping or someone who doesn't. There was no laundry list of ulterior meanings, it was a way to identify who in fandom had no interest in shipping. This is also coming from someone who's been around in these spaces long enough to know this as fact from experience.

Somewhere along the way it started meaning pedophilia/incest/abuse, I find that very suspicious the way it shifted meanings from something so literally innocent, to something so ambiguously ill intended, when you can just say "they fetishize incest" without having to bring shipping into it. You can just call someone a MAP, what does shipping have to do with it. More people should be questioning why that is.

Who benefits from ambiguous terms the most? What kind of people are looking for ways to get around calling themselves pedophiles? Why let them feel safe in fandom spaces by giving them ample opportunity to hide behind something that has nothing to do with them. Shipping isn't your problem dude, you like children, fucking go to therapy. (not a statement aimed at you, the anon)

People are taking issue with the article even wanting to have a nuanced discussion about the word proship, when they should actually be taking issue with the fact nobody knows who our enemies and allies are anymore because we keep inventing new ways to include our personal """squicks""" (for lack of a better word, not huge on the word squick tbh) into it. Just say what you hate, it's fine. I hate people who abuse children, I hate people who abuse adults, I hate terfs, I hate fascists, I hate incest, I don't like pregnancy, eye stuff is weird, death makes me really upset, I think I should be allowed to kiss Rom the Vacuous Spider. Really easy to just say that in no uncertain terms. Anybody of all languages can pick up what I'm putting down.

If someone from another country cannot understand the point you're trying to convey without you first giving them a fandom history lesson as to what it really really means for REAL to be called a proshipper, idk maybe just say you hate pedophiles instead, coward (not calling you, the anon, a coward. I have aimed this at God himself).

And keep in mind too, this is barely a fraction of a tangent to a larger discussion that could be had about this, philosophically. We haven't even touched on the effect media has in real life, the dissolution of fandom minors being able to have safe friendships with fandom mentors, or even how the recent infighting of fandom, and fandom """""Purity Politics""""""" of the last 5 years, can be traced back to decisions made by corporate web3.0 wanting to monetize its 3 biggest platforms SO BADLY that it refuses to create spaces for minors to escape adults. A minor cannot even play roblox without being under threat of a 30 year old content creator existing near them, and I think that's fucked up.

A real plethora of nuanced discussion here to be had.

[lovetransaction]

happy dadfucker friday maggie!! i wanna know, what "special events" (holidays, birthdays, death dates, anniversaries, etc) do you think john and dean bother to celebrate, and how?

HAPPY DFF RAE!!

John was pretty militant (deliberate word choice there lol) about the boys' birthdays because that was something he got obsessed with acknowledging, like the four things that he marked off every year with: two birthdays, Mary's death, his wedding anniversary. He seemed fairly unanchored about everything else (he never mentions his own birthday unless it's about the boys) and it's not like he could properly even do anything to celebrate the boys' birthdays every year, but if he wrote it down in his journal that counted as something.

I don't think John was very good at offering praise (I don't think it was a big part of his own growing up so it never occurred to him that he should maybe ... do that) and he was under the misconception that since his boys were force-grown, they'd interpret his behaviour however he needed them to. As implied love and praise and support and attention. Which they could not, because they were children! Now and again when he had the energy/time/opportunity to make a fuss over Dean for his birthdays he'd do it (there was mention of a fairly normal Chuck E. Cheese party for Dean once), and he'd put his whole pussy into it, but I think John lost his capacity to hold onto or want to make happy memories, so it wouldn't mean much to him.

It would mean a lot to Dean, though, of course, because everything means a lot to Dean. Once again he served as the repository of Winchester Family Happiness, both as archivist and maker, so he'd do things like annual holidays. Birthdays and death dates and anniversaries, Dad had covered, so Dean's responsibility was doing Easter and Thanksgiving and Christmas (and probably once they started fucking, a tentative Valentines' Day that John was surprisingly receptive towards because Mary thought VDay was stupid and cheesy unless it came in horror movie form, but John always secretly thought it was nice).

BUT YEAH John wouldn't stop Dean from finding ways to do holiday celebrations, and if there was nothing immediately preoccupying him then he'd enjoy them too and Dean would be brimming with pleasure at having given them something they could revisit and feel good about. They don't have photo albums or family & friends to carry these memories, so it's all imprinted in Dean's mind to be hauled out later, whenever needed.

I think that kind of mentality also made celebrating stuff for Dean harder as Dean got older, because what he'd been desperate for as a child got more complicated. He wanted the love and attention, naturally, but attention that involved anybody other than Dad and Sammy started to become excruciating and borderline angering. Who are all these dopes telling him happy birthday? What the fuck do they know about him, or what makes him happy, or anything? Some people when they set themselves up as arbiter of making other people happy, and it becomes part of how they identify, start to get dissatisfied and resentful of other happy-makers and I feel that would be Dean with anyone who's not a Winchester. Mostly because Sam and John don't try to make him happy using the same tactics that Dean uses, so his role in the family is firmly cemented and singular. It all gets more haphazard and fraught as Sam and Dean get older.

The Valentine's Day stuff sticks, though. John gets Dean whatever candy he can find that's shaped like hearts, and Dean fluffs pillows and does over-the-top silly shit that's not too girly and toes the line of ridiculous, so neither of them feels too weird about it, like one time he puts red food colouring in their beer, and another time when he eats all the chocolate hearts he saves the pink-and-red foil and wraps up a bunch of bullets in it to give back to John, dumb things like that to get a chuckle and some smiley kisses out've the old man.