#also where does sophie keep her to-go cash?

[butchgeorgefayne]

Hello, do have any couples in mind for your ocs?

Good question! I’ve thought about it, but since I’m still developing some of character dynamics, things might be subject to change.

CAND, for example, is a WIP. Candy is the newest member I made, so I don’t have much for her yet. I just know she’s an orphan and she didn’t grow up with the others, so she doesnt have any preexisting history. This is a good and a bad thing. She could have secret history with another person on this list!

Adrian and Daiyu are childhood friends. They used to both be trained by Uncle Jaune, and Daiyu was an excellent fighter, but in the past few years she’s become a shut-in due to chronic illness. Ren and Nora have been trying and failing to help her, so Jaune suggested they pair her up with Adrian so that she can still go outside with a familiar face without also being shadowed by her parents and punk little brother.

I think they’re both a little afraid of Naja. And hey, she doesn’t blame them, but it’s still annoying. Naja usually keeps her semblance a secret, but that’s hard to do with people you grew up with. she was even friends with Daiyu, but after a while she mostly kept to herself. Adrian is usually very friendly and polite to her because he doesn’t want to come off as judgmental, but Daiyu… she doesn’t even like being in her head, why does Naja want to get in there?

Team MOVS! I have no complicated lore about Ming and Olive. They became friends at school and they are whiterose 2.0. Olive is hardworking and annoyed by everything and Ming just wants to have fun but she can’t because Olive keeps bossing her around. They’re too cute for words.

Sophie and Victoria are the only ones I would actually say are ‘couple’… Victoria is training to be a scientist and so she was partnered up with Sophie, who is… much, much more than she seems. People aren’t sure if they’re actually dating or if they just have a weird obsession with each other. I doubt they know, either.

and lastly, team TEIL. You’ll be surprised to learn that these guys were actually the first ocs I thought of! They have the most developed story, so developed that they might need their own post. honestly this isnt even a rwby team this is like a 4 hour long neo-noir. I couldn’t get into it if I tried, It would take me too long. But I’ll try.

Ty and Li are childhood friends and #bros. Li has been dealing with his sister’s issues for a long time, so although he seems brash he’s actually the most intuitive of the boys. Ty is suave and cool and has a bad temper. He’s the best fighter of the bunch and he falls in love a little too easily.

Esmé is an orphan who works at a Malachite-owned gentlemens club, where all the faunus waitresses have to wear itchy, glittery outfits and mesh blindfolds. She hates it but she needs the cash.

Irvine left home in search of adventure. Right now, he’s cleaning toilets. Irvine and Esmé are coworkers and Best Friends According To Irvine. Esmé has tried to kill all three of them at least once.

[wooglebear]

so what's the deal with Melvinborg’s sister?

in tetocu23, Hazel is virtually unrecognizable next to her ACIT version.

It all starts with Melvinborg's situation. He isn't a cyborg in this AU, so Hazel will need to have a new motivation to travel back in time. And since it's a reboot, her dynamics with krupp/cu, melvin (melvin's her half brother after all), Gooch, Bo, Jessica and the Sophies, Erica, Stanley, Dressy, cash networth, Cara, and the boys will be drasitically different from ACIT (I'm covering Cara, Cash, and the Melvins)

i imagine Hazel as someone who's come from an offshoot, not the timeline where Melvinborg is from. She'd mostly want to make sure that an alternate timeline where Melvinborg doesn't even exist becomes the main timeline- or what she sees as a Better Timeline - and try to set up the parameters for its existence but it goes sideways in some way. As for what her second reason is... perhaps she's trying to keep Melvin from falling under Melvinborg's control - not because she wants to save or protect him, but because she doesn't want her half sibling to leave her, causing her to go to great lengths to save Melvin.

Like canon ACIT, Hazel shows up in the equivalent of the season 2 ep 1 (or according to the writers of the Au, the season 2 two-parter).

Hazel starts off not really associated with anyone else in class because she's quiet people forget she's there. She starts to gain real self confidence instead of relying on the detective shit

She's part of a system, with Private Hazel being her alter ego. Fun fact: Private Hazel and Hazel talk to each other via voice recorder and a notepad respectively. I got this idea from the Sticky Notes AU by @infini-tree. Only instead of Sticky Notes, it's a notepad.

Cara shows up in the latter half of the season (which, accroding to the writers of the AU, hybridizes aspects of season 3 and a little of the space season, so now the kids are in a camp for spring break mandated by Melvinborg) with Cash in tow.

I basically COMPLETELY rewrote cara from a hacker (like in canon ACIT) into something a little more plausible for a girl who came from space, but I kept things like her hacker skills. in this version, she’s an evil genius.

Cara does plan to take over the world; it's just very low on her priority list. So for now, she tries to make Hazel her servant (unwilling servant, mind you).

The only problem is… she’s falling for her.

Yup, unlike in canon ACIT, Cara’s going to end up with an enemies to lovers plot with Hazel.

And then we get to Cash himself. Cash is basically his canon self, but with a dash of "deliberate drama causer" and a pinch of dt17!Scrooge McDuck seasoning mixed in. The Scrooge to Hazel's Webby and Cara's Lena.

This is Cash Networth, billionaire owner of Camp Uppercrust. HE'S SHOWN UP LOOKING TO STIR UP SOME TROUBLE AND BECOME A FULL TIME QUESTIONABLE INFLUENCE ON HAZEL AND THE KIDS. EVEN THOUGH LENA SEEMS ABOVE IT ALL, HE ACTUALLY COMES TO LIKE ENTHUSIASTIC HAZEL, AND THEIR RELATIONSHIP IS A UNHOLY MASHUP OF BFF FOR HAZEL AND, FOR CARA, WFE (WORST FRIEND EVER).

Cash has some kind of big history and backstory (it doesn’t really play that much into the main story), which is sort of a parody/takes inspiration from The Life and Times of Scrooge McDuck.

Cash's design is his canon one, but sometimes he wears a plaid jacket over his pink shirt.

Hazel is so hellbent on trying to get rid of her brother that it actually shoots her in the foot sometimes.

Also, Cash has a niece... who I'm not gonna tell you about, for it'll be told about when I get to her.

(tetocu23 AU: @infini-tree / @cartchytuns)

[sgrspiced-a]

silly infodump under the cut until I write their bios today:

d1 - cashmere (rachel mcadams) and gloss (chris hemsworth), cashmere’s kind of terrible on acc of d1 girls definitely getting the brunt of the prostitution stuff, gloss experiences it too but less sometimes. he’s more of a big brother n he’s generally the one that pressures cash to be nice bc god knows she won’t on her own

d2 - minerva (isabela merced), she’s the sister of brutus (@meathungrylamb) who won her games like fifteen years after; generally famous for having to use a hammer to kill in her arena bc the other careers stole her spear (also! dinosaurs) & pandora (bailey bass), who was never supposed to be in the games but became famous/got sent in after her older brother atlas (@meathungrylamb) died saving a girl that reminded him of her

d4 - caspian (maxence danet fauvel), brother oc to my finnick, was 18 when finnick got reaped and acting as the head of household since their father died; worked at the docks to keep finnick in training and often yearns for a better, more successful life. dreamer. awkward, standoffish, kind of fumbling. very smart & loves to read, popular in the capitol because of being an odair so he gets carted out with finnick sometimes. does not know abt finnick’s prostitution because finnick doesn’t want him to be at risk

d7 - padme, youngest víctor ever (if I ever change it for finnick she’ll just have had the title before him), becomes a maternal figure to a lot of victors after her win & built d7’s image from the ground up, also a key rebel leader after. won without a single kill & was popular in the capitol after for her wit (they were practically making fun of her I hate them). was pregnant with twins and lost them some time during her career as a victor, is retraumatized by coin during the rebellion. and sequoia (sophie nelisse specifically as shauna, reaped when she was pregnant, forced to go into labor in the arena and only alive thanks to ximena — if sequoia’s alive ximena is dead n vice versa)

d10 -ximena (nailea devora), eldest of nine siblings, grew up on a ranch and became famous for keeping her district partner (12 year old boy) alive until the top 3, where she ended up having to mercy kill him when he was dying of starvation and infection. she used methods she’d learned from dealing with cattle and sang him to sleep as he died; very much a “could have been a spark of rebellion but it went nowhere”, like padme

[readinginthereadyroom]

it’s the bottle job (lev 2x11) and eliot, parker, and hardison are scrounging together emergency funds. cold hard cash.

and where do they keep it?

eliot tears apart the frame of a chair. the one we see him sit on most frequently.

parker dumps out boxes of sugary cereal. the ones only she eats.

hardison takes down the portrait of old nate and cuts open the back. the one he painted.

all of these hiding spots are great because they really speak to each character. their personalities and priorities.

but also. hardison specifically saved old nate from the explosion of leverage inc. and he continues to take the painting to all their subsequent headquarters—nate’s apt, the cave, mcrory’s, and the brewpub. he’s had a stash of emergency cash with them the whole time.

I also headcanon that the 3 of them—as they become the ot3 of them—start keeping all their emergency funds in old nate. consolidating their plans. their futures. their getaways. together.

[ezrisdax-archive]

fantasy high time loop. starstuck odyssey timeloop. LEVERAGE TIME LOOP

send me a fandom and I'll tell you how I'd do a time loop episode

God I’m trying to imagine the absolute chaos that would come from Brennan getting to do a time loop. Probably would take first place in the time loop list but okay, for this it’s just about the chaos.

Fantasy high

I mean it’s the bad kids, it’s always about the chaos but you know any one of them stuck in the loop would immediately do something stupid and get it reset. I also don’t think it would be possible to just do one kid stuck in a loop given the format so you would have to have all six. Adaine and Riz would be taking notes and seriously trying to break it while also Adaine would probably do things like call the others elves out and be like “this is your oracle speaking, shut up”. Riz would get distracted and use the time to also solve a mystery that’s been bugging him or something while also getting so anxious about the loop because what if it does have an end and that end is the end of the world.

Fabian, Kirsten, Fig, and Gorgug are more just going with the flow. Like Gorgug would either be helping Adaine and Riz or using the time to get to know his dad more. Fig would be making new songs and testing them out and also taking advantage of the time to take Ayda places except I could see her getting frustrated in partway because Ayda doesn’t remember the dates from before since she’s not in the loop. Kirsten is out there trolling as many people as she can and def pretends at some point cause she can tell what they’re about to say that she’s the new elven oracle which Adaine ??? “you’re not even an elf but also okay, please take my job.” Fabian is unraveling the patriarchy within himself still and also just using the time like it’s a vacation (“Oh my god, Fabian, this isn’t a vacation, we can die from this.” “We’ll just reset Riz, relax”)

Starstruck Odyssey

Even more fucking chaos. No one knows how to fix it. At one point they accidentally blow up the whole universe. Margaret has a breakdown because her calendar function is made useless on her planner until she decides that this is fine actually and calls Lucienne every loop. Skip once takes over Aurora Nebbins body for ?? reasons. Sidney keeps starting a robot revolution. Barry somehow never realizes it’s a loop. Riva knows it’s a loop but doesn’t see it as a problem. Gunthrie uses this to make bets and get a big cash sell out cause the ball is rolling up.

Does it get fixed? Maybe. We just don’t know.

Leverage

100% it’s Eliot stuck in the loop and he blames Hardison. Hardison automatically believes Eliot is in a loop every time and is god damn delighted. He keeps asking which type of loop it is and making Eliot watch various episodes of things to get comparisons.

One loop has Eliot perfectly plan out the con they need to do on the bad guy they were working on and Nate believes it’s a loop after that happens but of course it resets.

Sophie thinks it’s the universe telling Eliot he needs to work on something in his life. (“Have you tried acting? With your eyes you’d make a very….intense version of Puck in a Midsummer Night’s Dream.” “Hardison fix this.” “Eliot where are you going?”) She’s also the one he goes to when he needs to complain about the loop though every time.

Parker’s response is “This doesn’t happen to everyone? Hunh.” And then walking away. Eliot doesn’t want to know.

He also proves that Hardison ate his damn sandwich.

“You owe me Hardison so fix this.” “Damn, I’m not a physics major, you’re the one who’s in this. You know what might help?” “I’m not watching the TNG episode again, dammit Hardison.”

The loop just breaks at some point. Eliot isn’t convinced it wasn’t Parker’s doing now.

He still blames Hardison.

[moldisgoodforyou]

james and julia

this is for u james anon :) also let’s hope the tags work this time lmao 

___

“What’s up with the boys lately?” Julia asked Sophie after a stall in their conversation over ice cream. The six of them hung out occasionally, mainly when they went out, and Sophie loved the way they all fit together so seamlessly. She easily fit in with the boys and Rafe could hold his own hanging with the girls (probably thanks to his sisters), so it was no surprise that all of them together was always a fun time.

“Hmm. Nothing special, really...oh, James is getting back to dating. I did a complete overhaul of his Tinder the other day.” Sophie told her.

“Back to dating?” Julia cocked her head.

“Yeah, and his girlfriend broke up after three years a few months ago. Something about her not being able to handle long distance anymore, I don’t know. He took it pretty hard. Obviously.”

“Poor guy.” She commented, sitting back in her seat, thinking.

Sophie rolled her eyes. “Yeah, and my idiot boyfriend suggested he needed to get over her by getting laid.”

Julia snorted. “Lovely.”

“Right? Anyways, James went on a date after like a month and I’m pretty sure he came home and was miserable for a straight week, so I’m glad he’s kind of moving on. I don’t think the guys ever really liked her, but you know how stubborn people can be about high school relationships.”

______

After that conversation, Julia swiped through her Tinder that night, more purposeful than ever. It didn’t take long for James’ profile to pop up, and they two matched right away. She sent him a teasing message - funny seeing you here - then immediately cringed at her choice of words. James replied with an equally teasing tone, and the two texted for a while that night - and two nights following.

The group all went out that weekend and there was an awkward tension between Julia and James, but Sophie couldn’t quite place why. Instead of being the class clowns of the group like normal, they were both unusually quiet, not really contributing to conversations. When Sophie leaned over to Rafe, whispering her observation, he furrowed his brow, not having noticed a single thing.

“I’m gonna go get another drink, anyone want something?” Julia asked at the end of the night, raising her empty cup. “Yeah, I’ll come with you.” James stepped up, following her through the crowd to the bar. After they both ordered their drinks, standing shoulder-to-shoulder so they could fit in the tightly packed space, he broke the silence first. “So.”

“So.” Julia echoed, raising her eyebrows.

“Can I take you out?”

“That’s awfully forward of you.” She commented, smirking.

“Sorry, out of practice.” He offered a cheeky grin back. “Dinner tomorrow night? At that Mexican place on ninth, I’ll pick you up.”

“Sophie’s gonna kill me.”

“That’s not an answer.” James nudged her arm with his elbow playfully, sliding cash across the bar to pay for both their drinks. “And Rafe will probably kill me too, but hey, at least we’ll go down together.”

Julia hid her smile in her cup as she took a quick gulp, more for confidence than anything. “Or we could get out of here now. It’d probably take them a while to notice...”  

“Now who’s being forward?” He smirked, then glanced over to where their friends were, blissfully unaware. “We’ll have to -”

“Go out the front, I know. Yours or mine?” She grinned, taking another long drink and willing herself not to shudder at the cheap vodka.

“Mine, I’m closer.” He knocked back the rest of his beer, then offered his hand. “You’re sure?”

“I’m sure.” Julia nodded, accepting his hand. “I still want that date though.”

He laughed as he leaned closer, making her shiver as his lips brushed against her ear. “You got it.”

Meanwhile, Rafe and Sophie were starting to get suspicious. “What do you think they’re so held up for?” She asked, pulling out her phone to text both of them separately. Rafe shrugged. “Friday night, we know it’s always packed here.”

“Ahh.” Sophie nodded in recognition, showing the group her phone with individual texts from each of them with a half-assed reply about meeting someone. Allie grinned. “You think it was that guy on Tinder she keeps texting?”

“Maybe. Wait, is this the first time -?”

“Hell yeah it is.” Rafe grinned, high-fiving Colin and Sophie rolled her eyes. “Well, good for him, I guess. Hope it’s a nice girl.”

_____

The next night, both Julia and James were getting ready for their date at their respective houses. Julia had refused to spill any details, claiming ‘a lady doesn’t kiss and tell’ when Sophie begged for the story. Colin and Rafe had snagged a few cupcakes and spare gel icing from the house chef, eloquently writing Congarts on the Sex - misspelling and all - as a present for James. He had laughed and snapped a photo, but didn’t tell much, just that it was a fun night and she left right after.

“Skirt or the jeans?” Julia held up both options with her turtleneck sweater, glancing in her closet for shoe choices.

“Depends on what sweater you’re going to wear.” Sophie stood and started rifling through her closet, shaking her head as she pushed multiple hangers over.

“What do you mean! This sweater is fine!”  

“Yeah, for church, not a date with someone who’s already seen you naked!” She retorted, pulling out a v-neck sweater instead and a sleek leather skirt. “You want this, with the white boots. Trust me.”

“You’re the worst.” Julia grumbled, but took the clothes and changed anyways. “Should I curl my hair?”

“Hm...no. Not worth the effort. Are you planning on hooking up with this mystery man again tonight, do I have to go to Rafe’s?” Sophie handed her a lipstick to match the outfit.

“Um - uh, probably not -” Julia stuttered, racking her brain for a solution. “You know, when was the last time you two went out?”

“We went out last night.” She raised her eyebrows. “Are you nervous?”

“Going out with all of us doesn’t count. I meant on a date.” Julia took a breath, pleased with her distraction, and smoothed the color over her lips.

“Um...” Sophie trailed off, thinking. “A couple weeks, I guess, I’ve been busy. Where are you going, Rafe and I will go and stake out the date for you.” She grinned. “We’ll be subtle, I promise.”

“You and Rafe have like half an ounce of subtlety between you two, combined.” Julia snorted. “Make him take you to that new restaurant, the one that was in the student paper.”

Sophie thought it over for a moment, her smile faltering. “It’s kind of expensive.”

“Your ability to forget your boyfriend is rich is impressive.”

“Jules.”

“I’m serious! Plus he gets so excited when he can take you out, it’s kind of adorable.” She pressed. “It’s not like you’re doing anything else tonight.”

“Yeah, he kind of does.” Sophie agreed - Rafe loved spoiling her as often as possible, even though she was still getting used to it. “Can I at least get his name?”

Julia had prepared for this question, at least. “It’s Jack, and no, you don’t know him.”

“Ugh, a J name.” Sophie shuddered jokingly, shooting a text to Rafe.

“Yeah, his only downfall.” Julia laughed, albeit a little forced as she thought of the main reason the two of them were probably doomed.

___

Meanwhile, Rafe was hyping James up for his date, blasting rap music way too loud as he ironed his clothes for him. (“Because no one fucking appreciates a well-pressed pant around here,” Rafe had argued, snatching James’ wrinkled clothes out of his hands.) “You kind of did things backward with all this.”

James shrugged. “Guess so. It was her idea.”

“The date or hooking up?”

James grinned as he accepted his freshly ironed shirt from Rafe. “Hooking up.”

“You should be careful though, you know? I mean, you shouldn’t launch into all this so quickly, take it easy.” Rafe told him a little warily, just wanting the best for his friend.

“I know, I know, it’s casual.” James reassured him.

“So...are you gonna need the room? It’s kind of early for dinner.”

“Uh...I mean, I’m not sure...”

Rafe’s face lit up as he received a text from Sophie and he eagerly shot back a reply. “Never mind, looks like I have a date night tonight too. Where are you taking this girl? If you’re going to that new place, I’ll see you there.”

“No, just the Mexican restaurant on ninth. Not pulling out all the stops.” James laughed, shaking his head at Rafe’s sudden mood switch. “Sophie’s got you wrapped around her little finger.”

“I...yeah, probably.” He decided against a rebuttal. “But she’s finally letting me take her out on a nice date, for the first time in ages, so I’ll take it.”

“Didn’t you go to the art museum downtown a couple weeks ago?” James asked, grateful for the conversation topic changing.

“Yeah, and it turned out she had to go for one of her classes and do a few sketches. I swear she can’t go three seconds without being productive.” Rafe shook his head, though he smiled fondly as he talked about her.

“Fucking simp.”

“C’mon, you’re the romantic, you know it’s love.” Rafe grinned and James rolled his eyes as he grabbed his keys and headed out the door. “I’m leaving, have fun.”

“You too! Text me if I have to go to Soph’s!” Rafe called after him.

_____

After Rafe and Sophie’s dinner, Rafe insisted on taking her to a swankier bar downtown by the restaurant instead of their normal college spot. When she paused, calculating in her head and reaching for her phone to check her budget app to see if she could swing expensive cocktails, he grabbed her purse and slung it over his shoulder. “On me, angel.”

“Everything has been on you lately.” She protested, holding her hand out expectantly for her purse.

“Good, so it’s how it should be.” Rafe shot her a grin and took her hand as they walked down the street. “You should have brought the navy purse instead, the black kind of clashes with my outfit.”

Sophie snorted, giving in. “Didn’t think you’d be wearing my accessories tonight, my bad.”

“Ah, but you should never assume.” He pressed a kiss to her temple, glancing in the window as they walked to the door - and did a double-take, spotting James. “Hold on, is that -”

She turned and followed his gaze, seeing Julia opposite James at a dimly-lit back table through the bar. “Holy shit.”

“Do you still want to go in?”

“Yes, we’re going to go interrogate -” She tugged on his hand, pulling him into the bar as Rafe leaned back. “Soph, maybe we shouldn’t -” He hissed, but she ignored him, walking right past the hostess’s stand.

“Ma’am, all our tables are reserved -” The hostess called toward Sophie, but Sophie turned on her heel and shot her a sweet smile. “That’s alright, we’re meeting friends.” She tugged her hand out of Rafe’s and strode over purposefully as he followed quickly behind. Once she made it to their table, she just stopped short of slamming her hands on it, both the drinks rattling a little.

James glanced up with nothing but fear in his eyes. “Oh, Sophie, nice to see you here -”

“What the hell is going on here?” She demanded, shooting glares at both James and Julia. James slunk back a little in his seat, while Julia just winced.

“Actually, yeah, I’d like to know too.” Rafe chimed in, sliding into the booth next to James as Sophie did the same.

“I told you they’re both off limits, James.” Sophie pointed an accusing finger at him. “Did you somehow forget my one rule? Literally just one?”  

“To be fair, you don’t speak for me -” Julia started, only for Sophie to whirl on her. “You! You were being so sneaky when you normally spill every detail - I should not know how big every single dude you’ve hooked up with is -”  

“Wait, you two hooked up? Julia’s the mystery girl?” Rafe made the connection a moment too late, then threw his hands up in exasperation. “Dude!”

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry!” James apologized quickly. “But if we’re pointing fingers, it was her idea -”  

“James!” Julia sighed, shaking her head. “Oh my god, I knew this wouldn’t work.”

“You said we could keep it a secret!”

“Not from fucking Sherlock over here!” Julia snapped, jamming her thumb toward Sophie.

“Was it worth it?” Rafe interrupted the argument, stepping on Sophie’s toe gently to hopefully put out some of the flames in her eyes. She only kicked him in the shin in response.

Both James and Julia shared a glance, debating their answers. “Honestly?” She asked.

“Yes, honestly.” Rafe nodded, sending a warning look to Sophie to keep her quiet.

James hesitated, not wanting to hurt Julia’s feelings. “I mean, I think you’re really nice -”

“Yeah, and the sex wasn’t bad -”

“Oh my god, please don’t even start there.” Sophie mumbled, her face twisting at the thought of her friends together like that.

“And I think you’re pretty -” James started again.

“But there’s nothing there.” Julia finished for him, offering him a quick smile. “I think we’re perfectly fine as friends, but that’s it.”

James nodded in agreement, relieved she felt the same. “Yeah, exactly. No hard feelings.”

Sophie let out a slow exhale. “Alright. I mean. You’re sure? Because if there’s really something, I can, like, chill out. Probably.”

Rafe smirked. “I’d say your entrance here contradicts that.”

Julia laughed, breaking the tension. “I’m sure. We were just talking about his ex before you interrupted, so I don’t think anything’s going to happen.”

Rafe shoved James’ arm, shaking his head. “That’s the one topic I told you to avoid.”

“We actually were having a decent conversation, if you two don’t mind? The least I can do is get you another drink, Julia.” James laughed, pushing him back aimlessly.

“...Fine.” Sophie stood, shaking her head. “Just as friends, though.”

“Just as friends.” Julia promised, sending her a grateful smile.

As Rafe and Sophie left, he let out a loud laugh as soon as they exited the bar. “Jesus Christ, Sophie. James looked like he was about to piss himself, he was so scared.”

“Good! She’s off limits! I warned him!” She exclaimed.

“I know, it’s like incest.” Rafe shuddered and slung his arm around her shoulders, walking with her to find another bar. “But hey - you think Allie and Colin might be a good match?”

“Rafe Cameron.”

“I’m kidding, I’m kidding!”

taglist: @whoeveniskendall @kkmaybank @karsinner @outerbanksbro @outerbankspreferences @randomficsandshit @sunshineitsfine44 @jailcalledlife @tovvaa @moniamaybank @illbesafeforyou @dontjinx-it @freddymaybank @jjmaybankzz @g4bster @oopsiedoopsie23 

[vickyvicarious]

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My Top Posts in 2021

#5

The emergency fund scene is great in a variety of ways, but I do love that they all snuck in huge sums of money into Nate's apartment. And the ways they did so:

Hardison putting money in the back of Old Nate's frame? Easy, can be done offsite, no one will touch it because sentimentality. Not even why he made Old Nate in the first place but a big old bonus to keeping him around. 10/10 very sensible.

Parker hiding it in cereal boxes? Easy to access, but there's always the chance someone else can find them accidentally. Still, if she builds up that no one else touches her cereal, and especially if she uses kinds no one else would want to eat, can be pretty well left alone. Still, if you want to be totally unobtrusive, this takes a lot of upkeep/switching out cereal boxes. 7/10 not typical but can't be left alone (she probably likes to check on her money anyway and enjoys doing so stealthily in front of everyone so this makes sense)

Eliot putting it inside the base of his favorite chair? Easily hid, no one is gonna find it accidentally. This does mean though that he either did this offsite and then had to ensure exactly which chair arrived here, which given it matches the rest means he either ambushed Nate's furniture delivery or just picked out all Nate's furniture... or he had to sneak in when no one else was around and reupholster the bottom of the chair after hiding money in it. 8/10 much more risky when you think about it longer, but once established can be left alone.

Of course they all just assume they each have emergency stashes here even though they clearly don't all know exactly where each other has one. This is very funny too because maybe they just don't care if anyone else finds their stashes because they know they will respectfully leave them be. Sophie probably has one here too somewhere (I wanna say in Nate's bathroom).

It's still really funny to imagine Nate going for a glass of water in the middle of the night only to find Eliot reupholstering his furniture and just sighing and going about his business. Or trying to pour some cereal in a bowl and a big wad of cash falls out, and he rolls his eyes and just looks in the fridge for leftovers instead.

1087 notes • Posted 2021-05-08 20:45:41 GMT

#4

Ennis, pointing a gun at Eliot: "Really hurts me to have to do this to you. I've quite enjoyed your company this afternoon."

Look, I recognize sarcasm, okay? I do. But Eliot has been stalling him all day and he has had that frickin lil smug smile half the time, and this whole situation reminds me of the time Eliot stalled that one lady by taking her out on a tour of the town (walking the Freedom trail, etc.), which was really just a long extended date, and Nate even referenced when telling Eliot what to do for this con, and. well.

I totally crossed my wires for a second and had this moment of "wait, does the goon think Eliot's cute? did he think he was just a big criminal himbo he wanted to kiss later but now has to shoot instead?" ahahaha

1134 notes • Posted 2021-06-05 07:40:08 GMT

#3

Hardison hears that people are coming to kill him. He immediately gets ready to leave, taking only the essentials:

two huge handfuls of cash, his laptop, and a liter of orange soda.

1443 notes • Posted 2021-06-01 18:35:56 GMT

#2

on a lighter note, two other moments from family dinner: eliot's apron, and...

everyone has a glass of wine except nate, who has a beer, and hardison, who has a bottle of orange soda.

1471 notes • Posted 2021-06-10 19:06:14 GMT

#1

...sum up the ship dynamic in a screenshot game?

1986 notes • Posted 2021-05-19 21:03:03 GMT

Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review →

[archived-and-moving]

Ro vibes

I've never really took special interest in Ro, (it's not that I don't like her, some of the bodyguards tended to just fade in my mind, the two that didn't really stick for me were Ro and Grizel.) So, I just kind of read through the wiki to get a more factual information about her.

For some reason the first line that jumps out at me is, "No daddy, no VISA, I got my own cash" Which makes sense, she'd been ordered to protect someone away from her home, the place where she grew up, and where her family is. (Except for Fintan, obviously /j)

Then of course, there's the chorus. "I'm on the battlefield, like, oh my God, Knockin' soldiers down like House of Cards, I'm a one-woman army," And, yeah, that definitely fits.

Ro is fiercely protective, and even if she has a tough layer on the outside, she has shown that she does really care about those close to her, (like Keefe and even Sophie) and would do anything to keep them safe. Even if that means going against old friends, like Cad.

Then there's also the line "March if you don't give a fuck." That one really fits for me as well. Ro is showed to have a much more laidback personality compared to the other ogres we've met, like Dimitar and Bo. Whenever she's in the story, she's often shown messing around, or joking, or betting with Keefe.

Ro has mostly been a comic relief character, but with Keefe gone I'm really hoping that we get to see another side of her. And honestly, I think Keefe should run, because if it's Ro who finds him, he's in big trouble.

This one was really interesting to do, and it was cool to look back at a character I didn't know much about, so thank you for the ask!

[leverage-ot3]

notable moments from The Homecoming Job

leverage 1.02

Dr. LeRoque: Pardon me, Mr. uh?

Nate: Oh, uh, Nathan Ford. You’re Dr. LeRoque?

Dr. LeRoque: Can I talk to you outside?

Perry: Doc, he’s cool, I found him on the internet.

Dr. LeRoque: Yes, that never goes badly. (to Nate) With me.

Nate: Uh… I’ll be in touch.

(Perry hands him the flash drive and Nate follows the doctor out of the room)

okay but big mood “I found him on the Internet” “that never goes badly”

but also,,, bruh we NEED to know how their clients found them,,, like ??? H O W

- - - - -

Dr. LeRoque: You can’t just come in here and get his hopes up!

Nate: I’m just here to provide options.

Dr. LeRoque: There are no options.

Nate: The Veteran’s hospital …

Dr. LeRoque: Is 400 miles away and has a five month waiting list. Everybody in that rehab room is a reservist. When reservists get out they get sent home no matter where home is or how far it is from the treatment they need. Nobody thought this through. We’re not a rich hospital, I cashed in every favor I had to take care of these kids for as long as I could but I have to go back in there and tell Perry we can’t treat him anymore. I have to do that. Run your scam on somebody with money.

Nate: It’s not a scam. I’m here to help.

Dr. LeRoque: People don’t just show up to help. That’s not the way the world works.

leverage really called out the us government’s negligence and neglect for veterans in episode TWO and we stan them so hard for it

leverage said “go big or go home” from the VERY beginning

- - - - -

[Audition Room]

Sophie: Why? Why? I can’t live like this anymore. With the lies and the filth. No. Help me. I want to be clean. I want to be clean.

(two directors watching are overwhelmed by just how awful Sophie is)

Rogers: Yeah, you understand this is a soap commercial, right?

Sophie: Uh huh. When I thought about Peggy I came up with this idea that the dirt was really this giant metaphor, for sin.

(Sophie’s cell rings, she glances at her purse)

Rogers: You should take that. No, no you should take that.

Sophie: Oh. (answers phone) Hello? When? (hangs up) Peggy killed her first husband.

Rogers: Thank you

I literally scream every time I LOVE SOPHIE S O MUCH WHAT THE FUCK

- - - - -

[Parking Lot]

(one man is laying on the hood of a car and another falls on top of him. Eliot turns away from the car as the last man pulls a gun on him. They stare at each other for a moment, then a phone rings)

Eliot: That you or me?

(man seems unsure as the phone continues to ring)

Eliot: Could be important. Does your mama have your number?

(man looks down and Eliot grabs the gun, punching the man in the neck. The man goes down, choking. Eliot unloads the gun and tosses it away before pulling out his phone and answering it)

Eliot: Yeah? Nothing, why?

“nothing”? I’m-

- - - - -

(guard walks by a painting hanging in a museum gallery. He looks away for a moment, and when he looks back a rope is dangling where the painting had been. A cell phone rings)

Parker: Parker. Shh. No, I wasn’t shushing you.

I love her, your honor

- - - - -

(Parker, Eliot and Sophie come around the corner and head down the hall)

Parker: From the first job?

Eliot: Yeah.

Parker: I put all that money in a Swiss bank account.

Eliot: Millions of dollars and you didn’t buy anything?

Parker: I don’t like stuff, I like money.

Sophie: I bought a little retirement home, an island.

Eliot: Nice.

Sophie: In Dubai. And Tokyo.

Parker: What about you?

(they reach the door which has a small envelope with Sophie’s name written on it. Sophie takes it off the door and opens it)

Eliot: Yeah, I’m not about to tell two known thieves what I did with a multi-million dollar payout.

Sophie: Don’t you trust us?

(Eliot doesn’t answer.)

- - - - -

Hardison: This is our new cover story. Welcome to Leverage Consulting and Associates, founded in 1913 by the great Harland Leverage the Third.

(Hardison points to a painting on the wall of an older man that greatly resembles Nate)

Sophie: I’m sorry. Nate is going to kill you.

Eliot: Did you paint that?

Hardison: I’m gifted.

Eliot: That’s weird

HARLAND LEVERAGE THE THIRD

- - - - -

Hardison: Now Leverage Consulting Inc. is squeaky clean, all corporate taxes on record as being paid for the last ninety years. (He gives them each a cell and a folder) All your identities as partners, your payroll taxes are paid, you guys have pension plans and dental, those are employment records, case files and company newsletters.

(the group walks the halls of the Leverage offices as they discuss the files)

Parker: In 1998 I won the sack race at the 4th of July picnic. Cool.

Hardison: Now these, these are your offices. Now you can bring something like a photo, you know what, a plant! I’m a big supporter of dandelions.

hardison goes hardcore when coming up with backstories

- - - - -

(Hardison opens doors to a conference room that holds a long table with many chairs around it. One wall is dedicated to large TV screens)

Sophie: Nice.

Eliot: My man.

Hardison: Long version or the short version?

Sophie: Short.

Eliot: Short version.

Parker: Shortest.

(Hardison hits a remote the TV screens illustrate his explanation)

Hardison: Photo and video forensics programs, back doors into every electronic banking system in the world, running heuristic data crawls all over the news sites to find our clients, oh also!

Parker: This is the short version?

Hardison: Facial recognition database tied into CIA, NSA and the FBI. But, the real pièce de résistance (changes screens to sports games) DirectTV HD Total Sports Package. NFL, NBA and I threw in a little bit of hockey ‘cause I know you people like that.

Eliot: Hockey.

hardison nests SO HARD

like, bring in all the highest tech into your cozy new office you designed for you and your fellow adopted criminals? heck yeah

- - - - -

Nate: Our client is the cameraman. Corporal Robert Perry. He says that the Castleman contractors spooked and started firing.

Eliot: 5.56 NATO rounds mixed in with some 9 mils from the sub-machine guns. Insurgents would have used AK-47s with 7.62 ammo. It has more of a... (hits the back of his hand to his palm) crack. Contractors shot 'em up all right.

Parker: You ID’d the weapon from the gunshot sound?

Eliot: It has a very distinctive sound

D I S T I N C T I V E

- - - - -

Nate: Yes, and lobbyists in every office in Washington, DC. The problem with a cover-up is all the paperwork it takes to keep the lies straight.

Hardison: Internal emails, memos.

Nate: Exactly.

- - - - -

[Roof]

[Hardison and Parker are wearing black and connected to repelling gear)

Hardison: I gotta go back to the office I just remembered something.

Parker (adjusting Hardison’s harness): What?

Hardison: I just remembered gravity and the squishiness of all my manly bits.

Parker: I designed this rig myself. The line is carbon fiber. Five point harness. Weight support here, here, and here. Auto-breaking resistance on the main pulley back here.

Hardison: Okay cool, so it’s tested?

Parker: Not yet.

Hardison: Not yet? When the hell was you gonna test it?

(Parker pushes Hardison off the roof. She smiles, he screams)

Parker: Big baby.

(she jumps after him. Hardison screams until he stops upside down. Parker lowers herself to his side)

Hardison: Seriously? Seriously

hardison’s first time rappelling decidedly Did Not Go Well

- - - - -

Sophie: My company’s focused on meeting senators, but I’m thinking congressmen.

DuFort: You know the great thing about congressmen? Fifty, a hundred grand well spent will get one elected, but then once they’re in the incumbency rate is over 95 percent so you can get an average 18, 20 years’ use out of one of them. In these uncertain times buying a United States congressman is one of the best investments a corporation can make.

[DuFort’s Office]

Hardison: Oh I just threw up in my mouth a little bit. I’m a professional criminal and I find that disturbing

they’re going at america’s THROAT in this one and I love it. thank you john rogers

- - - - -

(while DuFort is distracted Sophie pulls out his wallet and removes the RFID card with her teeth. DuFort takes off his coat to look at the stain)

I am but a simple gay and this was Hot™

- - - - -

the phones hardison gave the team have six main buttons: internet, text, files, to-do, id scan, and mail

- - - - -

Nate: Parker, what’s the status of the voicelock?

[DuFort’s Office]

Parker: Uh, I’ve been sampling DuFort’s speech but I still need a few more sounds.

[Private Party]

Nate: How many?

[DuFort’s Office]

Parker: Well I only need the sounds puh, tuh, oo, ah, eh, oh, ah, ke, a, ef.

[Private Party]

Nate: Ah, only those. Eliot.

(Eliot walks by carrying two trays of appetizers)

Eliot: I’m on it. Pardon. (approaches Sophie and DuFort) Hello.

Sophie: Ooh. Mmm.

Eliot: (to DuFort) Appetizer, sir?

DuFort: Sure, what do you got?

Eliot: I’ve got the pâté d’escargot avec bière d'Argentine and (looks at second tray and grimaces) what looks like old duck, kind of greasy.

DuFort: I guess I’ll have the first one.

Eliot: Of course.

(Eliot offers him the second tray and Dufort looks at him expectantly)

DuFort: Well? May I have some?

Eliot: The greasy duck?

Sophie: Oh, no, no, no, I wouldn’t have the greasy duck.

Eliot: No I wouldn’t suggest it.

DuFort: No, the other one.

(Eliot pretends confusion)

DuFort: The the pâté d’escargot with the bière d'Argentine!

Eliot: Excellent choice sir (gives DuFort the first tray).

DuFort: (takes food) Who is this clown?

[DuFort’s Office]

Parker: Pretty good. Got most of them. Okay, now all I need is ef, uh and kuh.

[Private Party]

(DuFort spits out the appetizer he has taken)

DuFort: This is shrimp!

Eliot: Very good then. (walks away)

DuFort: It’s shrimp you stupid F----!

[DuFort’s Office]

Parker: Oh, there they are. Really loud too

parker being so competent and knowledgeable about voice activation codes? amazing. iconic.

and the whole scene with eliot and the food? hilarious.

also there already another meta post about this but this scene shows just how SMART eliot is,,, like coming up with that on spot??? don’t get me wrong, hardison is “the smartest man [any of them know]” but damn

- - - - -

continuing list of non-weapon objects eliot uses as weapons:

an IV stand

+ bonus

nate: the defibrillator/AED

- - - - -

Perry: Mr. Ford!

(Perry pushes a defibrillator towards Nate, who grabs the paddles. The first man runs toward Eliot with a knife, but Eliot grabs his arm and pushes him toward Nate)

Nate: Hello.

(Nate hits the man in the chest with the defibrillator paddles and he flies backward, unconscious)

eliot looking Impressed™ at nate for that

- - - - -

Eliot: Play time’s over Nate, it’s only a matter of time before they come after us. The tall one, the way he used a knife, ex-Marine, probably Force Recon.

Hardison: You ID’d a guy off his knife-fighting style?

Eliot: It’s a very distinctive style.

two distinctives in one episode

- - - - -

Hardison: I didn’t sign up for any of this. What I did before, nobody got hurt.

Sophie: I stole paintings for a living.

Parker: I never hurt anybody.

Eliot: I actually hurt people, so…

LMFAO eliot but also- notice that sophie never said that she never hurt people, she just said she stole paintings for a living

- - - - -

Sophie: Nate, if anything had happened to this kid--

Nate: You know you guys called on me. You remember? You begged me to run the crew, agreed to play by my rules. Now walk out if you have a problem with that. Walk out any day if you have a problem with that. It’s simple.

(everyone looks hesitant)

Eliot: We finish this one.

Parker: Just one

PSH like any of y’all believe that

- - - - -

Hardison: How do we hit ‘em?

Sophie: Congressman Jenkins, he’s our in. Looked me straight in the eye and told me he’d never even heard of the shooting.

Parker: So?

Sophie: Looked me in the eye? When men are telling me the truth they’re not looking me in the eye. A man only ever looks a woman in the eye when he’s making the effort to lie to her.

Eliot: ...Well you can’t argue with that.

Hardison: Noted and filed

LMFAO

- - - - -

Nate: All right, Jenkins is DuFort’s pet congressman, let’s see if we can get him to bite. The best way to get two people to reveal a secret, get ‘em to turn on each other.

- - - - -

Sophie: You should look out for the signs congressman. Missed phone calls, no more little favors.

Jenkins: Those are the same signs that your wife is cheating on you.

Sophie: That’s right.

Jenkins: What am I supposed to do when that happens?

Sophie (hands him her card): Play the field

- - - - -

Hardison: Congressman Jenkins is very careful. No direct bribes but he’s renovating his house and so far he’s received over $600,000 worth of work for a little over fifty grand.

(Hardison brings up pictures of Jenkins’ house on the screens)

Eliot: Castleman owns the contracting company, huh?

Hardison: I mean, he’s going through like three shell companies but yeah. And this man loves his house. Just check out his web browsing habits.

(Hardison changes the image to a website for wood panels)

Hardison: Look here, see the man spent three weeks picking out the perfect mahogany wood panels. This site is like wood porn.

Eliot: Is his house finished?

Hardison: Not even close.

Eliot: Can I borrow your phone?

Hardison takes out his phone, dials for Eliot and hands it to him.

Eliot (on phone): Hello? Yes, I’d like to cancel delivery on some mahogany wood paneling. Please.

(Hardison tries to help, Eliot walks away)

Eliot: The Jenkins house. Yeah, you know what, do me a favor man, just go ahead and cancel the whole order. Yes sir.

(Eliot leaves the room as Nate enters with a bowl of popcorn and two beers)

Nate: What’s he doing?

Hardison: Yanking the congressman’s chain

I love chaotic (pre)boyfriends

plus at one point it high hey looked like they were holding hands

and eliot’s SMILE at hardison ,,, you soft man, you never stood a chance

- - - - -

Hardison: A woo--whoa, whoa! A wood-- a wooden box?

Nate: A wooden box.

Hardison: Wood? Well, we can put a man on the moon but all our laws go into a wooden box.

- - - - -

Hardison: I mean, break a law, everybody’s done that, my mama’s done that but steal a law. Oh, she’s gonna be a legend baby.

(on screen, C-SPAN news shows the Senate floor where Parker is walking to “The Hopper”. She waves at the camera and puts the fake bill into box.

Parker: The eagle has landed.

Nate: It’s in!

Hardison: Uhn! Go ahead girl! Sexyness! Unh. Rrrnnn.

Nate: Might want to ease up on that a little bit.

Hardison: Just saying.

Nate: Yeah.

Hardison: Between me and you. Between me and you.

Nate: Never leaves the room.

adorable “the eagle has landed” parker + already-gone-for-her hardison ,,, I love it here

- - - - -

(also, again I am reminded that there is a 250 text block limit so imma have to make a part two and apparently this is my life now)

[sassyfrassboss]

I agree, she'll come back only to gloat on her zillionaire and chased by HW producer star status, none of which are happening now but just reading about the lies make my blood boil. This is like begging for an invite again and simply provoking William’s anger. Why does he have to make up with Henry & Rachel all the time when he is faultless?

Exactly...

So they came back in January 2020 from Canada and they dropped their website of demands right before Kate’s birthday. Then the decisions that were decided on were not what Meghan & Harry wanted. They couldn’t keep their perks of being Royals and make money off of being Royals. This had to infuriate her. At this point she most likely begins plotting her “Revenge” moment when they return for final appearances in March. 

Now it’s March and first off they return without Archie, obviously Meghan is making a point of keeping him from Harry’s family. Second, we notice that her hair, makeup, and clothing has improved drastically from her previous 18 months of being a working member of the BRF. Now I didn’t like everything she wore, but her outfit to the school is something I have worn myself to work. We see that Meghan is obviously making statement with her outfits and grooming; she is basically saying “See what the family is letting go?” But we all know that for 18 months we got wrinkled cloths, dirty shoes, and messy hair so we know that she is being vindictive. We also see the real Meghan after the Royal Marines event where she is obviously giving Harry a telling off and she is captured scowling at him. Then the “I don’t care because what are you going to do about it” Meghan appears by deliberately overshadowing any and all Royal appearances during that time with her secret visits, or pictures placed with certain press. She totally stole the headlines from Camilla during one of Camilla’s most important speeches. Meghan didn’t care who she pissed off because she KNEW she was never coming back so this was her week to show off that she actually could have been a professional Royal, she just didn’t want to. 

Meghan left the UK in her own blaze of glory but at the same time managed to piss off the entire BRF. Kate refused to look at her, Camilla stared her down, and Sophie gave her a look that should have had her 6 feet under. Meghan KNOWS they hate her...she refuses to acknowledge they hate her because of her own actions but she knows that they do...

She never had any intention of ever returning to the UK because to do so would basically be her having to accept that she needs them more than they need her. She thought she was going to become an overnight billionaire in LA but COVID hit and the universe is showing Meghan just who is boss. 

The ONLY way I see her returning in to cash in on the Diana connection but I don’t think she would want to have to share the spotlight with Kate & William which is what she will have to do, especially seeing as how the statue will be at K&W’s home KP. Unless there is something big she gets in return...I really don’t see her ever returning to the UK as Harry’s wife...

Plus, I doubt very much that William wants to be in a 100 mile radius of either of them, especially her.

[punkscowardschampions]

Ronnie & Joe

Ronnie: [a phone number]

Ronnie: found you your own special plug

Joe: Can’t wait to get gang-raped by whoever this is

Joe: or maybe it’s a phishing scam, what route have you gone down 🤔

Ronnie: route of she can be your number 8 cos youre such a bike

Joe: it’s that kind of hook-up

Ronnie: pay for the gear if you cant get it up soft lad she looks fuck all like your ma

Ronnie: couldnt track down no more of her bastards for you soz

Joe: taking your role that seriously?

Joe: alright

Ronnie: getting out of it

Ronnie: she can babysit you

Joe: she probably lost custody of her own so

Joe: nice of you on all fronts

Ronnie: yeah

Joe: what, your dealer don’t like me or something

Ronnie: how the fuck would i know like

Ronnie: and how would he you legged it out of there soon as he showed

Joe: no shit I did

Ronnie: ordeals over now baby go cry to your new mammy about it

Joe: unlikely

Joe: but it ain’t my ordeal so

Ronnie: they ll swab & treat him he ll be sound

Joe: give a shit about him

Ronnie: if youve got something to say

Joe: I just said it

Joe: I don’t care about him

Ronnie: you dont care about me fuck off with your heroics

Joe: you didn’t want swooping up and saving, don’t mean I don’t give a fuck

Ronnie: your student loan aint gonna cover both our habits youd have me dopesick cause youre fucking jealous that means you dont

Joe: you’re jealous

Joe: and I said, didn’t stop you, didn’t say you had to

Joe: what’s fun about something oozing and itching in your pants, that’s all

Ronnie: of what

Joe: of every boring ex I have or will ever have

Ronnie: you wish

Ronnie: get em in a room together and they aint even jealous of each other

Joe: I know

Joe: x2

Ronnie: you dont know shit mckenna

Joe: so today I’m green

Joe: not the know-it-all smug college kid

Joe: nice to know how to play it

Ronnie: smug is right whenever i aint gonna suck your dick cause you can read music

Joe: that’s all that’s stopping you?

Ronnie: nah remember its the death wish attention whoring & mommy issues

Ronnie: cant both be functioning junkies youd have fuck all else to get a boner about

Joe: how long have you been doing heroin

Ronnie: youve got loads of catching up to do

Joe: yeah, so I don’t know why you’re acting like I’m being high and mighty

Joe: it’s literally been days

Ronnie: cause you are

Joe: no I’m not, just ‘cos I’d rather not suck dick when I have the funds

Joe: would you do it if you had the cash, that’s just stupid

Ronnie: youve been comparing me to any & every cunt since we met

Joe: like you don’t shit on me any and every chance you get

Joe: you were acting like them, the whole none of my shit is real because yours is SO real, that’s her whole bit

Ronnie: you cant stop fucking doing it even now fucks sake

Ronnie: i shit on you for you its not like i have any cunt to compare you to

Joe: alright, if you’re that sensitive about it

Joe: I’ll really stop

Joe: there 🤐

Ronnie: fuck you

Joe: nah, that was a dick move, alright

Joe: let me make it up to you

Ronnie: youre crying shes a patronising cunt guess what youre right there too

Joe: alright, I deserve that

Ronnie: drop dead

Ronnie: yeah its been days days of me giving you whatever the fuck you ask for

Joe: I know

Joe: so what do you want, seriously

Joe: I’ll do it, make it happen, whatever

Ronnie: like fuck can you make anything happen

Ronnie: youre like every other doss cunt i know theres your comparison

Joe: Probably am

Joe: but you’re the only person I’ve met who feels close to whatever the fuck I am

Joe: there’s the truth

Ronnie: whichever of your exes that worked on is more west than either of us

Joe: Oh I can easily be that dickhead and tell you how crazy they all were

Ronnie: go ed

Joe: the second to last one was the worst

Joe: full-on stalked and harassed the last one like, for no reason

Joe: she also messed with all my shit in a way she thought would send me into an OCD spiral because she didn’t get it

Joe: and when she started hooking up with some other kid she’d send me pics like I’d be 💔

Joe: that’s just after, that was all kind of amusing in a boring way, she was less amusing to be with but more mental

Ronnie: shouldve had some tips off her for the stalking bullshit its probably not too late to send her a dm

Ronnie: ones ive got from this is i dont have to bother learning the alphabet cos id be better off fucking with your record collection by smashing it up & child porn does fuck all for you

Joe: that is my thing, turning up uninvited to fuck everything up

Joe: she might go for it

Joe: exactly, both good to know, yeah 😏

Joe: all pretty basic and vanilla but still, annoying as shit

Ronnie: unless you can get me to do it for you yeah

Ronnie: dinners at what like 7

Joe: you’re gonna ruin my happy uni home?

Joe: oh no

Joe: be there be 7, eating at 8, apparently

Joe: time to ‘mingle’ as she put it which sounds suspicious af

Ronnie: fucking hell

Ronnie: thank christ i already hate you

Joe: saves times, energy less so

Joe: your mate is up for it, unless he’s a convincing liar, which I could see

Ronnie: what energy do you want name it theres gear thatll give us it

Ronnie: he is but i cant see the con shes got fuck all any cunt wants other than pasta shapes & mariahs likely on a diet

Joe: 🤤 and not over her appetizers, like

Joe: there’ll only be the 6 of us so we’ll need entertainment

Ronnie: lad flatmates bringing a bitch

Ronnie: shes gonna need something to get her through it or something she can use to end it

Joe: yeah he has a missus

Joe: even though him and Sophie belong together as the most average whitebread couple ever

Ronnie: make it happen then

Joe: where’s my bow and arrow

Joe: their 💘 ain’t my problem

Ronnie: you said you could do whatever and we needed entertainment

Ronnie: put all that money where your mouth is

Joe: you’re well sweet

Joe: you want her to be living her best life

Joe: dunno if I can hack being his shoulder to cry on in the interim

Ronnie: your teeth wont have time to rot before you choke on em talking to me like that

Joe: go on then

Ronnie: you owe me i dont owe you

Joe: I thought you’d ask for something better

Joe: but your loss

Ronnie: yours youre thinking about it

Joe: I get it, you want it to be hell living here

Ronnie: i dont wanna have to ask

Joe: for what

Ronnie: anything

Joe: why not

Ronnie: you think you can read my mind or some shit

Joe: I’d like to

Joe: and I think you get me, and yeah, I think I get you more than the bullshit mommy issues attention whore comment that was to get a reaction

Joe: I don’t think we’re twin flames just because we share some DNA, I’m not that kind of delusional, believe it or not

Ronnie: cause weve shared a needle though yeah

Joe: I get it, another kid with a habit, you’ve met hundreds

Joe: it is different though

Joe: tell me it isn’t

Ronnie: different cos its a habit you didnt have days ago

Joe: it’s not your fault

Joe: for good or bad

Joe: you didn’t spike me without asking

Ronnie: i didnt say that

Ronnie: i said thats why its different

Joe: yeah

Ronnie: nobody did any of this shit for me i dont know why im doing it for you

Joe: do you want to, or do you think you need to

Ronnie: what the fuck does it matter

Joe: you either fuck with me, you like fucking with me or you think you’ve got to protect me or some bollocks

Ronnie: protect you from the needle i stuck in your arm yeah that makes loads of sense

Joe: from getting a bad dose, being beat up by one of your dealers

Ronnie: i just wanted a front row seat

Ronnie: im not gonna get one when your family finds out

Joe: that’s fine by me

Joe: you reckon they’ll fly me home for an intervention then?

Joe: shouldn’t be surprising how oblivious they are

Ronnie: i dont care what they do to try & fix it youll be at rock bottom by then

Joe: they won’t try, they don’t

Joe: just because I weren’t shooting up doesn’t mean I haven’t been doing plenty other fucked shit for ages without it ever being a conversation

Joe: one of the kids that they took in, is a walking skeleton

Joe: can’t get her to eat, some reason don’t do anything but try to reason with her like she’s reasonable, never mind the rest

Ronnie: no shit they dont i was proof of it before you or her

Ronnie: in the same town with the same name she fucking gave me and still out of sight out of mind

Joe: precisely

Joe: so if you’re hoping fucking me up will get her to come about then you shouldn’t bother, honestly

Joe: save yourself that disappointment

Ronnie: it aint about her paying attention

Joe: good

Ronnie: you wanna know me i only want you to know what it feels like

Joe: then let’s do it

Ronnie: nah i was rem to reckon it was worth shit

Ronnie: it aint

Ronnie: you aint

Ronnie: youre never gonna have your head wrecked how mine is and i cant be arsed to put the time in fucking you up in the selfish special way i need when you keep pure loving it like

Joe: is that not indicative of how I’m already quite fucked enough

Joe: just because it’s not abandonment based

Joe: what normal cunt would love any of this, even contact you again after the first

Ronnie: fuck no

Ronnie: youre living your best life and it makes me wanna hang myself

Joe: Christ, you’re up yourself, aren’t you

Ronnie: &

Joe: you want me to roll my sleeves up again and show you the recent damage?

Ronnie: yeah

Joe: [pics]

Ronnie: [obvs gotta send him some back]

Joe: [a straight up new one like just did it]

Ronnie: [ofc she has to also like this is a competition]

Joe: [hope you started small so you have somewhere to go ‘cos the vibe]

Ronnie: [knowing y’all you didn’t but it won’t stop you and I will be forever on edge]

Joe: [so grim, don’t pass out]

Ronnie: [or end up needing stitches]

Joe: [probably do them yourselves, ick]

Joe: do you fucking get it yet

Ronnie: why do you care

Joe: why do you think

Ronnie: i keep telling you i dont

Joe: braindead sounds ideal

Ronnie: horse girl not about to suffocate you

Joe: she would if I let her, like

Joe: 🍈🍈

Ronnie: wait til theres a chance ill choke on my vomit next time christ

Joe: so lay back and I’ll tell you some more

Ronnie: ok go

Joe: [go on about Sophie in a way I shall not even bother but let us assume it is crude and rude af]

Ronnie: [we’re not into poor Soph but they clearly are]

Joe: [just fuck and get it out the way lads, so rude to everyone else rn]

Ronnie: [honestly, but hopefully at this dinner party because Jamie jealousy will be off the charts]

Joe: [Charlie gon have to keep quiet ‘til you home lmao]

Joe: Any luck?

Ronnie: got no pasta shapes in my system have i

Ronnie: but why the fuck are you not lurking to save me

Joe: you want me to swallow the bile for you then, okay

Joe: the last one looked deep

Ronnie: deep enough if you wanna pussy out and spit instead

Joe: I don’t

Joe: where are you

Ronnie: dorothys

Joe: he in?

Joe: if I have to show him it’s brotherly concern you’ll only die quicker

Ronnie: nosey cunt wouldve stopped me

Joe: Yeah

Joe: I can say sorry if you want or I can just come patch you up and not lie first

Ronnie: i dont need your help

Joe: I know

Joe: purely wanna save you for my own complex and to be loving life even harder

Ronnie: wank off about the sos from the other day thats it i cant top you carrying me out til the bleeding stops

Joe: I’m coming over

Joe: you’ve got time to lock the door if you really don’t want me to come in

Joe: can get my own shattered glass without breaking his windows

Ronnie: he must like you to have given you his address

Ronnie: but not enough to overshare the door dont lock cos i broke it 💔

Joe: or am I better stalker than you give credit

Joe: thanks for the tip, baby

Ronnie: youd have been waiting for me to get here not the other way round

Joe: You do want me to read your mind

Joe: maybe a lobotomy will help

Ronnie: hot

Ronnie: reading your mind you want me to pass out before you fuck me but its not that deep

Joe: the wound or the vIbEzzZ

Ronnie: this your coming out cos you sound like charlie

Joe: just trying to turn you off, don’t want blood to gush out

Ronnie: liar youd be made up to see that

Joe: not hiding in the bushes yet

Joe: slow down

Ronnie: youre used to being the big brother i get it

Joe: Something like that

Ronnie: i know how to ride a bike without stabilisers or whatever the fuck

Joe: and tie your shoes

Joe: it’s alright, we’ve established I’m not a paedo

Joe: what can’t you do then

Ronnie: err what a nonce would say

Ronnie: read music we also fucking established

Joe: you teach me how to shoot myself up, I’ll teach you how to

Ronnie: not a fair swap i dont need to learn how

Joe: You don’t wanna be a babysitter either, so you’ve said

Ronnie: you dont like me any more or what

Joe: Of course I do

Joe: You got me my own dealer first

Ronnie: you asked me to 1st

Joe: How did I?

Ronnie: what else is ? for a plug without giving a fuck if ive rattled myself into a ditch

Joe: If I talked to you as much as I felt like

Joe: You’d tell me to fuck off more than you already do

Joe: I’ve got no clue where the line is, how much you want me to care

Ronnie: what line

Ronnie: i dont want you to care

Joe: Tough shit

Joe: I didn’t ask you to get me a dealer

Ronnie: you fucking did

Joe: I just didn’t wanna see you suck dick on my behalf, alright, that’s all

Joe: what you do for yourself is your business

Ronnie: calm down nothing i do is for you

Joe: 👌

Ronnie: dont call her then

Joe: you on commission?

Ronnie: 🖕

Joe: If I do, you’ll still have to see me

Ronnie: youll see me bleed out on the kitchen floor 1st

Joe: You’re a pro, I know you’re being overly-dramatic

Ronnie: at opening as many veins as itll take to not have to see you again yeah

Joe: to make me hurry*

Joe: I’m on the tube

Joe: you have to live in the middle of nowhere

Ronnie: no fixed address i told you

Joe: ❗️

Joe: if there’s a break-up or a thruple, you can have the extra room

Joe: makes sense now

Ronnie: it dont make sense you reckon we can afford any extras however far out

Joe: like you said, she’ll get homesick and chuck it in even if Marc won’t dump his girlfriend

Ronnie: if she does youll be homeless too like unless his missus is gonna cover the costs of the en suite for you

Joe: you can have my room, it’s the smallest

Joe: they can have the en-suite palace and I’ll take theirs, which is not next to the others 👌

Ronnie: not that youve thought loads about it

Joe: if you heard her disney playlist everyday, you’d think about it as well

Ronnie: id think about killing her or myself not a cosy little bed swap

Ronnie: shed never hack living with me nor would you

Joe: well that thought is never far from the front of my mind

Joe: if you need the bed, you know it’s yours

Ronnie: get it through your head i need fuck all from you

Joe: yeah, yeah

Ronnie: theres this way of living when youre not inside your ma in every possible sense course you aint heard about it

Joe: you need to prove you’re self-sufficient ‘cos no one’s ever given a shit about you but Charlie and the other one

Joe: I’m aware you’ve made it to your old age without me, you’re alright

Ronnie: i need to be it the only proofs im not dead yet baby

Ronnie: you need me to be old cos im not in a fucking coma & you cant get it up else

Joe: I’d rather be in the coma myself but you can be too

Joe: not calling dibs

Ronnie: oldest gets 1st dibs

Joe: *until the youngest cries about it so much you get told to give in to shut ‘em up

Ronnie: try me

Joe: you know you can’t hack my crying

Joe: does your head in SO much

Ronnie: save it for when you need lube or horse girl is gonna be coming after you with the leftover glue so you can never fucking leave her

Joe: come at you with the needle and sew us together, babe

Joe: unlucky

Ronnie: more than unlucky if i cant bust a stitch open to be the dead girl you want

Joe: you’re the dead girl I want already come on

Ronnie: til i teach you how to 💉 yourself

Joe: nah

Ronnie: 💘

Joe: looking well deformed these days, my one

Ronnie: could cut it out know youd be made up for the matching needlework

Joe: you play mad professor I’ll play corpse

Ronnie: long as i dont have to play nice

Joe: know what you take me for, actually, but no

Joe: obviously not

Ronnie: cant take you anywhere even if i did wanna

Joe: god imagine the dent in your street cred, sis

Ronnie: if i could cry i obviously would

Joe: repression or fucked tear ducts from all the 😭 you been doing

Ronnie: what im that baby faced youre taking me for a newborn now

Joe: nah, mr i don’t fuck kids here, remember

Joe: plus kids are always calling 999 by mistake and they’d get there before me

Joe: maybe, depends how many people have stabbed other people today

Ronnie: id have got the numbers up but ive been busy like

Joe: gotta make time for you, babes

Joe: it’s called self-care

Ronnie: ask me what with

Ronnie: shittest stalker ever you are

Joe: go on

Joe: school us

Ronnie: cant cry cos when i was linking you with a plug you dont want i was getting myself linked with your meds

Ronnie: best guess as a better stalker than you & less basic white girl than your crazy ex

Joe: 💡 fairplay

Joe: won’t tell you any other side-affects, see if you can guess ‘em right

Ronnie: i wasnt gonna take em but you want me to get you so bad

Joe: yeah misunderstood white boy is selling less these days

Joe: help a brother out

Ronnie: fuck all has happened so i probably cant

Joe: 💔 oh well

Joe: they’re nothing exciting, even though I managed to get the highest dosage they’ll do

Ronnie: maybe mines off for not giving you the benefit of the doubt when i could continue reckoning youre such a pussy

Joe: you’ll forget by tomorrow, no problem

Ronnie: neither brother is gonna let me if they walk in on me microdosing theyll reckon its a getting well party and get the deccies out

Joe: only so many times you can just kidding that ‘fore it gets old

Joe: we’ll go out, when I get there

Ronnie: where you kidnapping me to baby

Joe: I know enough to know it’s all wrong turns and blindfolds, not giving you a map

Ronnie: if its a&e no cunts finding your body even with a map

Joe: piss off

Ronnie: give us a clue

Joe: I’ll mark it with an X if you do me

Ronnie: if you ever fucking get here

Joe: if we were sewn together this wouldn’t be a problem

Ronnie: wanting to look like twins so nobodyll give a shit that you wanna fuck me would be something youd think about on the tube mckenna

Joe: they run in my old man’s DNA so have to look for those bastards instead

Joe: all I know about hers is addiction

Ronnie: course he does fuck alls your own idea

Ronnie: if hes got a sister even a meff nancy drew like youll be able to find bastards they had together

Joe: loads, Catholic, remember

Joe: twins kid is black though so process of elimination

Ronnie: cute how that runs in your family too like

Joe: guess so

Joe: not like it’s that crazy a concept

Ronnie: not like youve ever met an irish catholic who werent a saint yeah

Joe: it’s a fucked place to live

Joe: really third world in that respect

Ronnie: your real da is who you wanna look for if hes got no bastards going about its cos he cant knock anyone up

Joe: that your all men are pigs stance

Joe: alright courtney calm down

Joe: I’m out now anyway, don’t need a real mum or dad to come rescue us from the priests and that

Ronnie: nah its a fact unless his twin kept going up the backstreet or he was only sticking it in her other 2 holes

Joe: they didn’t really grow up together

Joe: he left when he was 15

Joe: maybe she was a late bloomer, happy days

Ronnie: 💔 your ma wasn’t then i wouldnt be here

Joe: no dig about how you’re dying now anyway ‘cos I’m taking so long?

Joe: you must be fading fast and not just being a dramatic bitch

Joe: good thing I’m in [wherever we ended up locating y’all] now

Ronnie: shut up i said its not that deep

Ronnie: youre the dramatic bitch legging it here for a fucking scratch

Joe: you wanted me to

Ronnie: you want to i dont give a shit

Joe: right, that’s what I meant

Ronnie: you can stop with the gay shit i told you hes not here

Joe: gays don’t own sarcasm

Ronnie: they own getting attached to cunts fast who dont care

Joe: awh, you being replaced rn?

Ronnie: horse girl wishes

Joe: Can’t catch a break or a man that one

Ronnie: after a pity fuck with you who knows what shed catch

Joe: you wanna infect her by-proxy, you’re so blatant

Ronnie: i shouldve got you to bring her my bloods everywhere

Joe: adding her puke to the mix would make it interesting, sure

Joe: bet she knows first aid

Ronnie: if youre too pussy to break my ribs yourself get back on the tube

Joe: threaten me with a good time

Ronnie: i just did

Joe: without meaning it, yeah

Ronnie: try and hurt me i mean it

Joe: [why do y’all always set the tension so high lads lmao, we know but]

Ronnie: [me and my boo here like calm down you can’t hook up yet but they are both like !!!!]

Joe: [shouldn’t have let you get on that train sir but you would so]

Ronnie: [I shouldn’t let her open her mouth ever but here we are]

Joe: [forreal lmao]

Ronnie: [gotta draw an x on him in her blood when he shows up before we can do a more permanent one however we are either as a scar or tattoo so soz for increasing the tension even more lol]

Joe: [just got to stare at her for ages and then shove her away very dramatically ‘cos you can’t, head through to whichever room she was bleeding in to assess/gawp at]

Ronnie: [she’s gotta lol like well if that’s the best you can do at trying to hurt me I’m not worried]

Joe: [‘whaddya use?’ and just going through this flat as if you’ve been here before/were invited by anyone but Ronnie vaguely because manners can’t matter when we’ve gone this far already]

Ronnie: ['what, you didn't

touch yourself enough on the tube?' but we are obvs showing him whatever we did use because it's just another way to flirt and we can use it to make that x happen so]

Joe: [shakes head ‘spill too much and they emergency stop’ and a look like do I look like I wanna be on a psychward but in a 😏 don’t answer that way, doing our own tallies with it, of course]

Ronnie: ['we're walking then' like where are you taking me don't get comfy bitch]

Joe: [little disbelieving lol like excuse me princess ‘your carriage was unavailable’

Ronnie: ['no shit the horse is dead busy']

Joe: [‘I ain’t taking you to a stable’]

Ronnie: ['that's where we ain't going, now tell me where the fuck we are' because we're like an excited kid about this]

Joe: [it’s cute and we clearly think so even if we’re distracting ourselves with this self-harm so we don’t go too far, unrelated but I haven’t thought where yous are going lmao but I’m vibing something London but something she wouldn’t have done, something music related, also if it has like, kid vibes, bonus, I’ll have to look so just keeping tight-lipped to be annoying and surveying the bloody carnage he’s now added to ‘you want to clean up?’]

Ronnie: [it'd be cute if there was something like thinktank but for music instead of science but idk if that exists anyways in answer to that question she's just gonna remove her top or whatever like yeah it do have blood on even though we know that's not what he means because we're still in a flirty mood despite how annoying his non reply is]

Joe: [that’s what I’m vibing but likewise have no idea, I’m sure there is shit though and you could find it Joseph, anyway, truly the this is fine meme about that ‘cos you can’t turn away 😳 but also boy don’t, moving like you’re gonna come close to her though]

Ronnie: [soz Charlie cos she shamelessly threw her top on the floor and isn't gonna clean up any of this blood even on herself like I literally should say she goes to the sink and then to get clean clothes but instead we all know she's just gonna take Joe's jacket or whatever and put that on, thank god he's all about the layers]

Joe: [god bless the grunge

aesthetic, ‘do you do it in front of him?’ and touching the cuts that are still showing ‘cos you know there’s some still, and it is like when and where do you do this when you do not have a room lmao]

Ronnie: ['yeah' leaving it up to him whether he wants to think it's in an attention whore way cos we're still annoyed at that call out lol but realistically it's just because of how long they've known each other and how they be living, she's not actively trying to upset Charlie that much most of the time]

Joe: [‘does he do it?’ ‘cos we can’t imagine it from the little we know but also can’t imagine him just chilling if he isn’t as fucked as them]

Ronnie: [the facial expression equivalent of his amused lol earlier because no]

Joe: [dropping it even though you find this odd like don’t worry boy, the tea is he is getting over it and wanting her to stop, pulling the jacket sleeve to take her out the door like come on]

Ronnie: ['he knows what'll happen if he tries to stop me' cos you can't tell me that when they were younger he didn't do exactly that and she went ballistic but more importantly HOW DARE YOU BOO because that is 1000% a Fraze move and I'm dead]

Joe: [yes I thought it was legit for a parallel, enjoy the long trip back to central guys]

Ronnie: [idk how we are gonna stop you hooking up to fill the time other than the other people in close proximity lol]

Joe: [maybe a uni/work obligation can come in and he has to go like legit ‘cos that’d kill this off]

Ronnie: [personally devastated that means an iou for this cute date but I love how fuming she would be at never finding out where they were going]

Ronnie: [not to mention the not at all casual and public domestic they’d have would be such a fat mood and show she cares when she’s literally like umm what the fuck do you mean you’re leaving]

Joe: [love how blatant we both are individually]

Ronnie: [hard same]

Joe: They sprung that rehearsal on us last minute

Joe: I already said, I’d give you the funds and you could go do whatever

Ronnie: and i told you to go fuck yourself

Ronnie: or your cello

Joe: I wouldn’t have wasted my time let alone yours if I knew that was gonna happen

Joe: how would you go about fucking a cello, exactly

Ronnie: waste more of your own time figuring it out its your raging hard on for it

Joe: I can’t not go

Joe: they make you sign a bloodoath when you get in basically

Joe: no excuses

Ronnie: youd have found an excuse fast enough if id stuck a needle in your arm

Joe: no, I wouldn’t, ‘cos it wasn’t an option

Joe: there was already enough damage to hide

Ronnie: i dont give a shit what options youve got

Joe: right, tell it to the crowd that amassed, they might believe you a tiny bit more than I do

Joe: I’ll make it up to you, okay

Ronnie: thats what soft cunts wanna hear when you cant hide no more & since you reckon you wont be getting forced into treatment you get to keep your gob shut for all that being sorry bullshit

Joe: make it into something it ain’t ‘cos you can’t hack hearing it

Ronnie: i dont wanna hear from you end of

Joe: alright

Joe: see you around then

Ronnie: 🖕

[princesssarcastia]

a veronica mars leverage au, i guess, because what else should i be doing with my life?

*deep sigh*

So I was thinking about the mechanics of a veronica mars leverage au—as in, veronica mars characters in a leverage like set-up, because the leverage setup is the golden standard™ of like, the known universe.

you have veronica mars, mastermind; the rest of the crew being made up of wallace, mac, logan, and weevil.  and mac is obviously the hacker.

but I also think that, in this au, the roles won’t be so clear cut.  the problem is that in veronica mars, all of these characters (except mac, who is an archetype) display different skills from each of the five defined roles in the leverage universe: hitter, hacker, grifter, thief, mastermind. 

veronica is a mastermind, sure, but she also makes killer fake IDs and breaks into systems like hardison does and is a hell of a grifter.

weevil can throw down, and lift things like a thief, and even pull one over on someone in a grifter-like fashion. and as head of the PCHers he has some definitive mastermind tendencies; he knows how to plan a fight, and a con.

wallace is more of a solid dude than a member of the criminal element, but when veronica needs him, he’s played roles like a grifter and pulled off lifts like a thief.

logan has a talent for violence, but also can lie like he breathes and put on shows to convince the best of them.

really i guess they all just have a little grifter in them.

if I had to had to had to give them all definitive leverage archetypes, though, it would be veronica: mastermind, logan: hitter, Weevil: thief, wallace: grifter, and of course, mac: hacker.

veronica is the mastermind because she knows all of them best, knows what they can do; because she’s capable of putting all the moving pieces together into one perfect plan; but also because she’s a control freak with maaaajior trust issues.  there’s no way she could ever let anyone else be in charge.

logan is the hitter because he’s just got that underlying current of violence about him at all times, but also because my absolute favortie scenes of his are when he’s being protective of veronica.  not that end of season three bullshit, mind you, but like the scene in season one when he rescues her from the federal agent, or the scene in season two when he bluffs his way into and out of the irish mob’s territory with an unloaded gun to save veronica.  make him the hitter and we get breathtaking violence from him, sure.  but we also get to see logan at his best: giving a damn about the well-being of others. 

weevil is the thief because this guy is smooth.  he pulled the heist at the carnival brilliantly in s2; and he stole that pen from the Kane household in s1 successfully even though the police arrested him and catalogued everything on his person, including the pen. it’s a bit of a square peg in a round hole, but I feel like he;d have comfortable knowledge of security systems and guard rotations and police jurisdictions.

wallace is the grifter because i’ve noticed that a lot of the times he asks veronica for advice on how to do stuff, its grift-related.  “how do I seduce the fake head cheerleader?” for example.  and he pulls some short term grifts for her, like when he infiltrates the silicon mafia at SD State.  also he’s got the best innate knowledge of who people are and what they’re like.  yeah, veronica can pull people apart, but Wallace is just good with them in a way she isn’t.  and also he’s got the most emotional maturity out of any of these basket cases.

mac is the hacker because she’s god’s gift to computers, duh.

what I really want, though; what any good leverage AU is an excuse to do, is to make a found family out of these losers.  imagine if these five people all...trusted and loved each other, in addition to liking one another??  i’m drooling just thinking about it.

I also think that, ironically enough, being righteous criminals in constant close contact would work wonders for veronica and logan’s relationship, lbr.  if veronica is mastermind-ing their cons, she doesn’t have to wonder what logan—or any of her other friends, for that matter—are doing, and go a little crazy to find out.  it’s an outlet for her control-freak-trust-issues.

aaaand if logan is their hitter/muscle, it’s literally his job to protect everyone, including veronica.  violently, if necessary. 

plus, they can both work out their paranoia on things that aren’t each other—cause it’s not paranoia if they’re really out to get you.

the best episodes always involved Veronica pulling her friends into cons with her; VM the show is already only a hop-skip-and-a-jump away from leverage, anyway!  solving mysteries, sure, but also getting revenge, retrieving items, getting even...providing leverage.

like, seriously.

Veronica and Wallace effortlessly pulling a grift out of their asses when they’re caught in a sticky situation, using that emotional drift comparability in their brOTP.

Mac, getting the respect and cash she deserves for finding information and recovering hard drives and also, giving her righteous side some room to move.

Logan and Weevil sniping at each other, maybe having not-so-faux fights as distractions or part of a con— but having each other’s backs.  playing partners in macho stoicism even though we all know they’re softies sometimes.

Wallace and Mac, standing to the side as exasperated captains of the maturity and stability team while Logan and Veronica share a dumpster fire.

Veronica and Weevil doing that thing, you know, where they’re kind of flirting and kind of pulling one over on their audience and pulling each other out of messes.

Wallace, prince among men, getting to play the handsome and charming credit to his gender he is.  imagine, if you will, him pulling honey-trap cons on marks like sophie deveraux did.  i am and it’s delightful.

the worst part about canon!VM is how much they all (veronica.  largely veronica) tore one another down; betrayed people; didn’t trust them; hurt them; expected the worst and got it in self-fulfilling bullshit.  imagine if all of that went away and then write it for me pleeeaaaseee

i’ve been brainstorming and like, there’s two paths you could go.  one is a complete graft to the leverage fusion, in which they never actually went to high school together but instead are professional criminals who all grew into their own on their own and came together.  in this path, we’d come in on our anti-heroes already in the thick of it—or at least, having deep histories together that allow them to trust one another right away.

the other is like, veronica falls to the “dark side” in high school and drags them all with her, handing out black hats as she goes. perhaps in a world where Aaron Echolls gets acquitted and Duncan Kane does not have an assassin at the ready to avenge his sister outside the law, where Veronica literally can’t sleep at the thought of him out there.  a world where Logan and Weevil have that same insomnia, and Mac and Wallace care about Veronica enough to help. 

and maybe it starts out as just a way to get new evidence so a judge can declare a retrial and get Aaron convicted; but ohhh, Aaron Echolls is not a man who can leave well enough alone.  He’s a rich, powerful, attention seeking mother fucker who likes to taunt logan and veronica about what he did to lily.  so even though it’s not Duncan paying for him to get assassinated, the end result is the same: Aaron dead as a doornail, like he deserves.

Maybe it’s a fake suicide, like Veronica planned out for her criminology course, the literal perfect crime.  Maybe he gets murdered and dumped on Lamb’s doorstep with an audio recording of him confessing—edited by Mac, of course, to make sure Veronica and Logan’s parts in the charade weren’t included.

also i’d like to think that, in this world where they wear black hats to better play white knights, Veronica and Logan have just...the best-worst reputation.  Yeah, they melt around each other, but ho-ly shit they’re still lethal—especially if you put one in danger.   Maybe Logan’s got a reputation as an attack dog, and maybe Veronica’s got a reputation as holding his leash, and maybe they’ve proven they’re willing to do anything to keep each other safe.  Maybe, they made a deal, a long time ago when they started out: Veronica gets to get into anything she wants, whatever crusade is currently pushing her buttons, as long as she brings Logan along to protect her. 

their story is epic, after all.

anyway! In Conclusion, tl;dr, someone please stop me from having veronica mars feelings, and if leverage could please stop being the best found family ever, that would probably help.

[i-am-a-bad-influence-writes]

The Queen’s Garden - Part 2

Series Masterlist - Tom Hiddleston Masterlist - Full Masterlist

Pairing: Tom Hiddleston x OC Sophie Green

Warnings: Strong language, fluff, pining, maybe smut

Summary: After a tough year, Sophie decides she should work in the family business for a while to take it easy after seeing how well Emma, her niece, is doing. And then she meets Tom Hiddleston. She falls head over heels while he seems to keep cool.

Word count: 2079

Sophie continues cleaning outside and finds something between the couch cushions. Something she had seen before. A watch that looks quite expensive at first glance. She grabs his and runs after the group of men, hoping to catch them before leaving, but they’re gone. She sighs and puts the thing in the cash register so no one can get to it easily. They’ll probably pick it up soon enough.

Sophie would like to say that she was a good girl and went to bed when the bar closed, but she didn’t. She ended up in one of the booths with her dad, drinking and talking about better times when men were gentle and the world was wide enough. By the end of the night, her father was more than tired and Sophie convinced him to stay home the next day. She would clean the bar.  God how she regrets promising that now. Standing in her sweatpants and a cropped tank top she stares at the mess that was left from yesterday and she decides two things. One, she needs to make a list. And two, she needs coffee.

With the coffee in hand, she goes over the list one last time to see if she’s got everything. When she’s certain, it’s time to get to work. She starts with the dirty glasses littered around the bar and the garden. Then it’s time to take down the flowers in case they make a bigger mess. After that it’s rolling up the carpets and- There’s knocking at the door. Curious, Sophie decides to go see who it is. She calls out that she’s coming while grabbing the key and curses the lock for getting stuck again. She manages to pry the door open and is faced with the man she had danced with last night. Tom Hiddleston, dressed in a full three piece suit even though the sun is scorching hot and yesterday hadn’t been easy on anyone. ‘Oh, hi,‘ she says with a cheery smile, remembering how they danced together. She remembers how giddy she felt and how wonderful Tom had been. It was a dream come true, but now it’s morning and the difference between the two of them is painfully visible. ‘Hi, I think I lost my watch here last night,‘ he says with a friendly smile. The kind of smile you show to your neighbor when you pass them on the street. It takes Sophie a second, but then she remembers. ‘Oh, yes, the watch,‘ she smiles and walks into the bar, ‘please come in, I’ll go grab it.‘ Tom steps inside and see the remainders of the party from last night. The flowers, the string lights, the confetti someone brought in. His mind goes back to Sophie in his arms, swaying with the music, perfectly in sync and he wonders how she can still be this cheery after a night like that. She, of course, looks different from yesterday but she still has this charm in her movements. In sweatpants she still looks like a lady. ‘Here it is,‘ Sophie says and hands the watch to Tom, who inspects it before sliding it on his wrist. Sophie admires the gentle movements of his fingers as he closes the buckle on the leather straps. ‘It’s a nice watch,‘ she comments. He looks up at her, then down to the watch. ‘I guess so,’ he answers, ‘thank you so much for keeping it safe.‘ ‘Not a problem,‘ she smiles, ‘can I help you with anything else?‘ Tom is running through his mind, looking for a reason to stay. He wants to stay and talk to her, but he’s already outstaying his welcome. She obviously wants to get through her workload and he has a lunch appointment in a minute. He shouldn’t keep anyone waiting. ‘No, thank you,‘ he smiles back at her, ‘I’ll see you later.‘ He walks towards the door, but Sophie still has something to say. She debates it in her head, but the words slip out before she can stop them. ‘Thank you for the dance yesterday,‘ she falters, ‘I really enjoyed myself.‘ A gently smile thugs on Tom’s lips, but he doesn’t want to turn around. If he turns around the butterflies in his stomach will go wild and he will not be able to come here again. Not when he likes a girl this much younger than him. ‘I’m certain we’ll do it again sometime,‘ he tells her, beating himself up for giving himself hope. ‘Me too.‘ Oh no.

Life goes on and weeks pass by. As Sophie starts to get into the swing of things more and more, she also realizes how long it’s been since Tom Hiddleston came around. She knows it’s desperate to think that he might think of her like she thinks of him but she thought the dance meant something. It could be because she was so lonely so suddenly, it could be because of his charming nature, in the end it doesn’t really matter. Her heart chose him. However, there had been others who tried to make moves. There always were. To them, she was an easy nobody. A beautiful girl to look at for a minute and throw away the next morning.Though she plays along, she never lets them get away with saying anything vulgar. She knows better than that. ‘Say darling, how come you don’t wear a ring,‘ one asks, looking awfully interested in Sophie. ‘Oh, I recently parted from my fiance,‘ she says with a straight face ‘but I see you haven’t parted with yours.‘ This makes the man a bit uncomfortable to say the least. He doesn’t bother her again. Sophie goes on her way and continues her quiet Wednesday shift. There’s never much going on on Wednesdays. Most times it’s just actors who do a script reading in the peace and quiet of the garden, singers that are working on lyrics, TV personalities chatting about. Days like these, Sophie takes her time with people and tries to have a conversation if they want to. She knows what everyone is working on. Occasionally, when it’s really quiet, she’ll sit down with someone who asked her to read through something or asked her opinion. To most, she’s seen as an outsider who can see things from a different perspective and they enjoy that in her, mostly because they know she won’t spill about secret projects. ‘Sophie, how have you been,‘ a cheery voice calls over to Sophie. She turns around and is faced with Benedict Cumberbatch and Tom Hiddleston. ‘Oh hi you two, I haven’t seen you in a while,‘ she smiles, ‘where do you want to sit? I still have a bit of space outside and I have one booth left inside.‘ ‘Outside please,‘ Benedict answers with a smile. Tom seems to avoid her look and pretends he doesn’t exist. It confuses Sophie, but she doesn’t spend too long thinking about it. ‘So how have you two been,‘ she asks while she leads them outside. ‘I’ve been good. We’ve both been in between jobs,‘ Benedict tells her, ‘but it’s nice to get some time off in the summer.‘ ‘I’m sure it is,‘ she grins and lets them pick a place. Benedict orders for the both of them and Sophie is thoroughly confused that Tom doesn’t want to speak to her. She goes inside, but Tom caught a glance of her face dropping. That’s not what he wanted at all. Benedict noticed it too. ‘Is that what you wanted,‘ he asks Tom, who shakes his head. ‘I don’t know what I want,‘ Tom admits, ‘she’s so young and I feel wrong just liking her.‘ ‘We all interact with her and if there’s one thing that we all know it’s that Sophie’s an old spirit,‘ Benedict argues, ‘the girl seems to know something on every topic, and most of all, she likes you.‘ ‘She doesn’t.‘ ‘She told you she wants to dance with you again,‘ Benedict sighs. ‘That means nothing.‘ ‘It does to me.‘ Both of them look to their side where Sophie standing. She looks a bit saddened, thinking that it meant nothing to Tom while it had meant the world to her. ‘I hadn’t danced in years and I wanted to keep it that way. You took me by surprise.‘ She puts the drinks in front of the men and holds the tray under in her hands against her body.  ‘Maybe we should talk about this another time,‘ Tom suggests. ‘I agree,‘ Sophie says, ‘I’m done at ten thirty. You can pick me up or we can stay here. Your pick.‘ With those words, she walks away. ‘You gotta admit, she’s a feisty one,‘ Benedict teases, poking Tom in his side but Tom feels nothing but nervousness racing through his body.

Tom stands on te square that The Queen’s Garden is located on. It’s 10:23pm. He didn’t want to be late, but he didn’t want to be early either. Late would mean he didn’t want to talk, early would mean she’d rush to get her job done. So he stands outside, counting down the minutes. Until the door swings open. ‘Are you going to keep standing outside like a creep or are you coming in?‘ He looks at the amused pull on Sophie’s lip at her own comment. It lightens the situation a lot. ‘I’ll come inside,‘ he stutters. ‘Can’t believe you managed to become an actor with a stutter like that,‘ she teases, walking ahead of him back into the establishment. She continues where she left off, which was counting the cash register. He starts walking over to where she’s sitting, but she ushers him away with a wave of her hand. ‘I can’t focus if I got a face like yours sitting across from me,‘ she frowns, trying to remember what she counted, ‘dammit, there I go. You can grab something to drink if you want. Fridges behind the bar have sodas and other things.‘ ‘Should I grab you something?‘ She grabs the bottle standing next to her, showing him the label. ‘I got some left. Thank you.‘ He leaves her be and sits down at a different table, scrolling through his phone. ‘It’s like the roles are reversed,‘ she chuckles, jumping from the barstool she was sitting on, ‘you were asking me what I wanted to drink instead of the other way around.‘ He laughs with her. ‘I guess so.‘ He watches her put the cash register away and take some money to the back, presumably to put in a safe. She returns only minutes later and checks her watch. ‘Ten thirty,‘ she says proudly, ‘talking time.‘ A sudden rush of fear flushes over Tom. He doesn’t want to seem nervous, but he is. He really is. Sophie looks worried when she sees his face. ‘Tom, you’re looking really pale. You should’ve told me if you weren’t feeling well. We can do this another day.‘ ‘No, I’m fine,‘ he smiles, ‘just a bit nervous.‘ ‘Oh, I get it. I’m terrifying,‘ she jokes to lighten the mood. It helps. Tom lets out a small chuckle. ‘Do you want to sit outside?‘ ‘Yeah, sure.‘ Together, they step outside. Sophie picks one of the couches and makes herself comfortable on the cushions. Tom notices she took out all the other cushions, but left these. She was planning on sitting outside even if he said no. ‘Let’s get one thing straight,‘ Sophie starts, wrapping both her hands around the cold soda bottle she took outside with her and pulling her knees up to her chest, ‘I feel something for you and I’m willing to let it grow if you feel the same way. Otherwise I ask you to give me a month without visits and we’ll pretend like I never said that.‘ Tom’s mouth falls open in surprise. ‘You- I- wha-‘ ‘Take you time,‘ she laughs, pretending like she isn’t shaking to the bone with nervousness. ‘I like you too, but I felt it wasn’t appropriate to make any advances with our age difference and your relationship history,‘ he explains. ‘You have a point there,‘ she admits, ‘which is why I am making advances on you. You don’t have to give me hope. I just want you to be honest.‘ He feels truly surprised by the maturity of her words and the honesty behind them. Least he can do is be honest as well. ‘I’m terrified of what others may think of us and I’m scared I’ll hurt you,‘ he tells her, ‘but I do really like you. I can promise you that much.‘ Sophie lets out a deep sigh and a huge grin appears on her face. She wiggles her shoulders happily and hums a little song that Tom doesn’t know. ‘That’s enough for me.‘

[bonkers-4-hatter]

Anon asked: Would you be willing to write something with Elliot Spencer and a chubby reader (established relationship Please) and the reader gets hurt on a job and Elliot has to get them out sadly ;_; maybe some happyness at the end ❤️❤️ I love that you write for Elliot littleraly there is almost nothing on him at all ;_;            

Of course anon dear! I know, I see nobody else writing for this wonderful man and it honestly makes me a bit upset. I hope you enjoy it hun!

--

“Okay, easy heist guys, in and out in 15 minutes, everyone ready?” Nate's voice rang out through the wireless coms we all had as a chorus of “yes” rang back.

“Alright, let’s do this ya’ll, Eliot already got rid of the guards, Sophie’s on her way to the back entrance and (Y/N)’s rolling in the decoy now.” Hardison updated us on everyone’s location as the heist sprang into full swing.

A local business man had his factory workers work in unsafe conditions causing multiple workers to die from incidents that could’ve been avoided if the scum actually cared. Families tried to sue, but thanks to the big shot lawyers and the families not having the funds, the courts decided that the workers were not following regulations and the family was left with nothing.

Hardison already got legal papers stating that the factory hasn’t been evaluated in years making it not up to code, but also bank statements showing that the man was putting the money for improvements to the factory into the higher ups salary.

The heist was to get the auction items so we could cash them in and give the money to the families that deserve it. Rich scumbag has diamonds and jewels at this auction...makes me sick.

I was disguised as a server, rolling a cart with some food on it while also having the decoy jewels and diamonds under my cart. I wasn’t that great with fighting, but my acting skills were top notch, not to mention my stature. Who would believe a chubby girl was a spy? Nobody, which made it perfect! However, Eliot wasn’t too keen on me doing heists with the team anymore.

Ever since we started dating over two years ago, he’s been really protective over me, which I love and appreciate, but everyone has to pull their weight in heists and I’m no exception.

We’ve talked about it many times and he trusts the team, he just doesn’t want me to get hurt, but that’s not always guaranteed in heists.

“(Y/N), you got someone tailing you, be careful.” Hardison’s worried tone came through the link as I just continued to serve guests and ignore whoever was following me. I can’t break character, otherwise it’ll be worse.

“Get outta there (Y/N), I got a bad feeling.” Eliot’s voice came through too as you served the last plate and acted on his words, making your way to the back, but as you turned a corner, you got hit with something causing you to go unconscious.

--

“Shit! Guys, they knocked (Y/N) out! Parker and Eliot, head up to the third floor warehouse, that’s where they’re taking her.”

Eliot gritted his teeth and punched another guard as he made his way up the back stairs. He was seething with anger. Those scumbags knocked his (Y/N) out, oh hell no.

“Eliot, I know you’re pissed, but simmer down.”

“Shut it Hardison, Parker, where are you?”

“About to open the warehouse door for you, hurry, they tired her to a chair.”

--

A splash of something ice cold hit me making me jump up and scream, my breathing erratic and my body trembling.

“Ah, looks who’s awake.” My weary eyes started to make out the figures in front of me, a pain on the back of my head causing me to groan out.

“Oh yeah, had to keep you quiet somehow so we just knocked you out, now tell me who you work for.” I tried moving my feet and hands and they had them tied to the chair, of course they did.

“Silver Plate Catering Company, please let me know, I-I don’t know what I did wrong.” I needed to keep my act up as long as possible. The man only laughed and walked up to me and before I knew it, he’d punched me in the cheek, I spat out some blood from the impact.

“Don’t fuck with me fat bitch, you work with Nathan Ford, don’t you?” He clenched his fists again.

“I-I don’t know who-who that is, please sir s-stop!” I wasn’t about to fib my team out to this asshat and besides if I keep this act up, it’ll deter him from that theory of his.

Punch after punch I endured, my body sore and tired, I’m not sure how much longer I can keep this up. As he raised his arm up again ready to strike, someone tackled him to the ground. It was Eliot! Parker ran over to me and quickly untied me and easing me up as she checked my wounds.

“We got (Y/N), she’s in pretty bad shape.”

“Doctor’s on standby at the safe house guys, Sophie swapped the real ones for the duds, everyone clear out, now!” With a nod, Parker started to slowly help me walk, as my eyes landed on Eliot who was still beating up the scumbag who was now unconscious.

“E-Eliot, stop! You’ll kill him.”

“I fucking should for what he did to you (Y/N).”

“I-I know, b-but we have to go, please....let’s go home.” Raising his head he looked at me and just nodded, getting up not before giving him a hard kick to the side and rushing to my side. We thanked Parker as she made her way up the vents as usual leaving us alone.

Eliot picked me up, as I leaned my head on his chest.

“So, does this make me badass like you now?” I joked as he only shook his head and gave my forehead a kiss.

“(Y/N), you’ve always been badass to me, now let’s get you home.”

“That sounds great, you’ll help me clean up right?”

He scoffed at my words. “You think I’d let anyone else touch you right now?”

“Man, can ya’ll do your nasty talk later?”

Eliot and I groaned at Hardison’s interruption, like he always does. “Shut up Hardiosn!”

[wolfpawn]

I Hate You, I Love You, Chapter 41

Chapter Summary -  The Gorilla suit segment has come and gone and Tom wants Danielle's opinion, which she gives. They also discuss the future more, and though it is early in their relationship, they set out what they want in a relationship, which thankfully, seems to suit the other.

Previous Chapter 

Rating - Mature (some chapters contain smut)

Triggers - references to Tom Hiddleston’s work with the #MeToo Movement. That chapter will be tagged accordingly.

authors Note - I have been working on this for the last 3 years, it is currently 180+ chapters long.  This will be updated daily, so long as I can get time to do so, obviously.

tags: @sweetkingdomstarlight-blog  @jessibelle-nerdy-mum @nonsensicalobsessions @damalseer @hiddlesbitch1 @winterisakiller @fairlightswiftly @salempoe @lys-syl @youcantcatchafallingstar

If you wish to be tagged, please let me know.

Tom – I am not sure when you will get to see the interview, let me know what you think when you do. x

Tom pressed send and lay back on the bed, reading over the lines for his voice work he would continue in the morning. When his phone went off, he thought it was Luke, and answered. “Well, do you approve?”

There was a moment of laughing before a voice came on. “I loved it.”

He leant forward. “Elle?”

“Obviously, didn’t you check your caller ID?”

“Honestly, no. I thought you were Luke.”

“Well, sadly I am not; I am just me.”

“I happen to like ‘just’ you.” He smiled.

“I happen to like you too.” She smiled back.

“So the gorilla suit did not turn you off?”

“No, it was weird but fun.”

“Well, I have some bad news.” There was silence on the other end of the line. “Elle?”

“What, what is it?” she sounded terrified.

“It’s gone.”

“The suit?”

“The longer hair and facial hair.”

“No!”

“I’m sorry, darling.”

“Why?”

“Because of work.”

“But it is stupid o’clock in the night there, how the hell did you get a barber.”

“It’s LA, darling, anything is available at any time, so long as you flash the cash.”

“I am not talking to you now.” Danielle declared.

“Elle…” Silence met his plea. “Darling…”

“Stop calling me that, you are in the dog house.” She stated petulantly.

“Elle…”

“Not interested.”

“When I get home, you won’t be able to ignore me.”

“That sounds kinky.” She seemed to forget her annoyance for a moment.

“It was not meant to be, but clearly you like it, so it’s a promise now.” he grinned. “I wish it didn’t have to be so long.”

“You are going checking on little children in a war-torn area of Africa, I am safe here at home, go get the world looking at them, help them, Tom, we can have fun when we come home, at least you get to leave again, they don’t.”

“You should come out as a healthcare working for a week, they could do with you and your big heart.”

“I am not a nurse or doctor, emergency care is far less of an issue in those camps, they need vaccines and food and shelter, not me,” She dismissed.

“How is Mum?”

“Your mom is great, there has been no more about the incident, she’s acting as she always did, but Emma…she’s a little pissed at the moment.”

“Why?”

“Because her friend is fucking her brother.”

“She doesn’t own you; I am not stealing you from her.”

“I know love, but it’s weird for her, she is just worried. I feel guilty, I had not thought of her, she will feel odd in this, even if we were to be happily married with a couple of kids, it is weird for her.” Danielle commented.

“Three.”

“What?”

“I want three kids.”

“I thought you said you hated being in that situation, with two sisters.”

“And Emma hated being six years younger, that’s true.” Tom conceded

“So two then, close together?”

“Or four,” Tom argued, the grin on his face obvious through the phone, “it’s all about problem-solving, Darling.”

“For the record, I am not interested in having more kids than I have hands to hold onto them.”

“You’re an only child, you don’t understand the need for siblings, and don’t twins run in your family?”

“Don’t even joke about that; and I was happy as an only child, everyone I knew with siblings seemed to be fit to kill them as often as they were happy.” She commented. “Are we really having ‘that conversation’ already, from across the world?”

“I think we are.” Tom grinned. “So, what else would you like, given the chance?”

“If it was with you?”

“Assume all of this is us thinking aloud about where we want this to go, what we want from this aspect of our lives.”

“I know you can’t leave London, you need to be close to there at least.” She sounded slightly unhappy about that.

“You rather not live in the city?”

“I am a country mouse.”

“Leafy suburb then; with parks for Mac and good schools, good compromise?”

“Yes, and not too far from Ben and Sophie.”

“North London it is so.”

“That’s more expensive, though.”

“The best places usually are.”

“And my place?”

“Well, that is up to you. It would be great to have a place so close to mums, but if we did both live in London when we would visit, she would be adamant we stay with her.”

“This is all very mature and long-term talk for this hour.”

“It’s only midnight here?”

“And eight in the morning here.”

“Are you getting anxious and changing the topic?”

“No…”

“Elle?”

“I want my furniture.” She answered childishly.

“I would never argue that.” He smiled, knowing she was just slightly scared. “When the time is right, would you want to move in with me?”

“I think so.”

“‘Think’?”

“I never lived with a guy before.”

“What?”

“Bar my dad, I never lived with a guy.”

“Why?”

“Just the way it was because my parents lived a bus journey from college, I stayed with them for that.”

“That’s, wow, seriously? You seem alright with me being there.”

“I have had a boyfriend before, thank you, staying overnight isn’t hard.”

“So your first time living away from home was in Suffolk, in your own house.” She hummed in confirmation. “That must have been hard, you never said anything.”

“I did, several times, to your mum and Emma anyway; but you, I don’t recall it coming up with us.”

“I wish I spent more time around you before now.”

“Well, there’s no need to worry about it, it’s the past.” Danielle dismissed. “So, when are the Grammy nominations out?”

“Soon enough.”

“Do you think you have a chance?” She asked excitedly.

“As much as I know this is a diversion tactic, I am going to allow it. I know The Night Manager as a whole has a good chance.”

“And you?”

“I am not sure.”

“I loved it.”

“It had my ass on display; you have made it clear you love anything as long as my ass is involved.”

“It is a most delectable derriere.” Danielle agreed.

“I hope I get it.”

“It is a good possibility.”

“Not a shoo-in?” Tom inquired.

“You can never say for definite, someone could pay off a judge.” She commented.

“And if no one does?”

“If no one pays off a judge, and if you are nominated, I would place a bet on you.”

“You’re not much of a gambler.”

“Not usually, but 2016 was a good year for you love.”

“Really?” Tom asked sceptically.

“I refuse to acknowledge any of that stuff as negative anymore.”

“I don’t follow.”

“Don’t let negative and toxic people rent space in your head, raise the rent and kick them out.”

Tom chuckled, “Where did you find that?”

“Random quote on Facebook, but I am using it. You went out with Taylor, I assume you had some fun, you went to some nice places, it happened, it’s over, nothing more, nothing less. I don’t care, it was before us, now we have us, so in all, it looks like you had a good enough year.”

“Some parts were definitely better than others, but overall, yes, it was a good year.”

“So, The Night Manager is of 2016, and as such, will do well.” She smiled.

“Elle.”

“Yes, Tom.”

“I cannot wait to come home, and when I do, I cannot wait to show you how much I love and miss you.”

“I look forward to it.”

“Are you at work?”

“I am,” She sighed. “I hope to have the weekend off when you come back from Sudan.”

“And if not?”

“I am stuck working I’m afraid. But the good news is, I’m off longer for Christmas now, we are ahead of schedule.”

“Where are you based?”

“At home.”

“I mean for the shoot.”

“Wales, some random spot in the middle of nowhere.”

“Is there a possibility I could come to you?”

“What if you are seen?”

“Elle…”

“I am just scared.”

“Who will notice me?”

“The cast and crew.”

“Will they care?”

“Probably not, I mean we do have actual famous people here.” She joked, giggling down the phone.

“Excuse you, and what am I?” she just giggled in response for a moment.

“When are you off to Sudan?”

“Wednesday.”

“Promise me you will try to be safe, and try to keep that really nice smile on for those kids.”

“What smile?”

“The one that lights up your eyes and gives you wrinkles around them, the one that makes others around you smile, they need that.”

“I will do my best.”

“I love you, Tom, promise me you will email or text if you get a chance, even just the words ‘It’s Hot’.”

“I will do so every day.”

“Whenever you get a chance will suffice, goodnight Tom.”

“I love you too Elle, I cannot wait until I get back and we get to have fun over Christmas, goodnight, darling,” he smiled, hanging up the phone, he lay on his pillow and smiled sadly to himself, hating that it would be a couple of weeks before he saw her again.

[strandedhaze]

ONE : MEET ZANE

FULL NAME: zane dariel gomez. PREFERRED NAME: zane. NICKNAME(S): z, zee, zed and riel. DATE OF BIRTH: march 12th, 1999. GENDER: cis male. PREFERRED PRONOUNS: he/him/his. ORIENTATION: heterosexual. RELATIONSHIP STATUS: single in main verse. RELIGION: christian. OCCUPATION: footballer, a midfielder for nycfc - on loan from man city. CURRENT RESIDENCE: new york city, new york ; he resides in a townhouse in upper east side.

TWO : ZANE’S BACKGROUND

HOMETOWN: london, england. NATIONALITY: english. ETHNIC BACKGROUND: trinidadian. LINGUISTICS: english is his native language, he knows the basics in a few more languages but he wouldn’t dare trying to talk them. EDUCATION: he graduated high-school. CRIMINAL RECORD: clean. BIRTH ORDER: third. FATHER: malik sean gomez was born on july 16th, 1975 in cheshire, england. he is a personal trainer who, currently, resides in london. MOTHER: tanya keisha gomez (née nelson) was born on august 23th, 1976 in port of spain, trinidad. she is a nutritionist and resides in london, england. SISTER(S): aisha marie gomez was born on may 17th, 1994 in london, england. she is finishing her phd in bioengineering ; leanna sophie gomez was born on july 28th, 2005 in london, england. BROTHER(S): jayson willian gomez was born on february 9th, 1995 in london, england. he is a p.e. teacher. OTHER RELEVANT FAMILY: none. SIGNIFICANT OTHER: zane is single. CHILDREN: none so far. FRIENDS: tbd. EXES: iman wilson, nevaeh evans and camille richards. PETS: none so far.

THREE : GET UP CLOSE & PERSONAL

HEIGHT: 5′11″ ( 181 cm ). WEIGHT: his weight oscillates between 160 lbs ( 72.5 kg ) 165 lbs ( 75 kg ). BODY TYPE AND BUILD: despite being athletic, zane doesn’t have your typical muscular frame. in fact, at first glance, most would describe him as lean. he manages to maintain his weight at a pretty reasonable number, if you will, and through a strict diet and a lot of training, both in practice and gym work, he keeps an athletic build without being particular muscly or over the top. all in all, you can tell he’s an athlete and that he takes care of himself and his body. EYE COLOR: deep brown. EYESIGHT: he has perfect eyesight. HAIR COLOR: brown. HAIR STYLE: though his hairstyle is pretty much always the same, zane is ridiculously picky and lowkey paranoic about it. he has fresh trims every other week to keep his hair in the most immaculate way possible.  DOMINANT HAND: right. NOTABLE PHYSICAL TRAITS: if you asked him, there are big chances his response would be his impeccable hair and his smile. only the later applies. adding onto that, his overall build and his eyes or more so, the fact they can be rather expressive. SCARS AND MARKS: the most recent and more prominent is the one on his right leg, courtesy of his surgery back in december. otherwise, he has the mundane scars and marks that aren’t all that notable or distinct, and often are a result from training and the games. TATTOOS: he has a half-sleeve tattoo on his left arm. PIERCINGS: none. VOICECLAIM: jadon sancho. ACCENT AND INTENSITY: he’s a londoner through and through, not even a few months in new york have eased down the accent or taken away the slang. the intensity is the same as if he was home, it becomes all the more obvious when he’s angry or frustrated, also right in the mornings when he wakes up and his voice is still sleepy. ALLERGIES: lactose intolerant, wheat and bananas. PHOBIAS AND FEARS: drowning, it’s the only thing that scares him senseless. MENTAL ILLNESSES: none so far. PHYSICAL ILLNESSES: none so far. SCENT THEY WEAR: on an every day basis, he’ll probably do a little concoction of his favourite scents (like a mix of malin + goetz leather with malin + goetz petitgrain fragance oil) or he’ll choose something like versace atelier collection figue blanche or luna rossa black by prada. if we’re talking nights out, whether it’s special occasions or in dates he’ll actually put effort in, you’ll find him wearing something along the lines of amyris homme by maison francis kurkdjian, sellier by byredo, cairo by penhaligons and rose smoke by atelier cologne.  ALCOHOL USE: very rarely, and only during off-season. he prefers not to drink though. SMOKING: he doesn’t smoke. OTHER NARCOTICS USE: no. INDULGENT FOOD: no ; he has a strict diet with a lot of restrictions and he isn’t a fan of indulging in food. SPLURGE SPENDING: he’s responsible and knows his limits so you won’t finding him splashing cash if he knows he can’t do so. GAMBLING: no. ADDICTIONS AND VICES: training, it can get to a point where his trainers and coaches need to call him out so he doesn’t overtrain.

FOUR : DIG DEEPER

CAN THEY DRIVE? yes. CAN THEY COOK AND BAKE? yes and ish. CAN THEY CHANGE A FLAT TIRE? yes. CAN THEY TIE A TIE? ish. CAN THEY SWIM? yes. CAN THEY RIDE A BICYCLE? yes. CAN THEY JUMP START A CAR? yes. CAN THEY BRAID HAIR? no, he’s helpless. CAN THEY PICK A LOCK? yes. EXTROVERTED OR INTROVERTED? extroverted. DISORGANIZED OR ORGANIZED? organized. CLOSE OR OPEN MINDED? open minded. CALM OR ANXIOUS? calm. PATIENT OR IMPATIENT? patient. OUTSPOKEN OR RESERVED? outspoken all through and through. LEADER OR FOLLOWER? leader. OPTIMISTIC OR PESSIMISTIC? optimistic. TRADITIONAL OR MODERN? modern. HARD-WORKING OR LAZY? hard-working. CULTURED OR UNCULTURED? cultured. LOYAL OR DISLOYAL? loyal. FAITHFUL OR UNFAITHFUL? faithful. NIGHT OWL OR EARLY BIRD? early bird with a big night owl twist. he loves the night. HEAVY OR LIGHT SLEEPER? heavy sleeper. COFFEE OR TEA? neither, he has a restricted caffeine intake and he’s not a fan of tea. DAY OR NIGHT? night. TAKING BATHS OR SHOWERS? showers. COCA COLA OR PEPSI? neither, he doesn’t drink fizzy drinks. CATS OR DOGS? dogs. NETFLIX OR CINEMA? netflix. SHOWS OR MOVIES? movies. LAPTOP OR GAMING CONSOLE? gaming console. HEALTHY OR JUNK FOOD? healthy. ICE CREAM OR FROZEN YOGURT? neither. PIZZA OR HAMBURGER? neither. LOLLIPOPS OR GUMMY WORMS? neither, he doesn’t like sweets. BEACH OR POOL? beach in the summer, pool in the winter. SNOWBALLS FIGHTING OR ICESKATING? iceskating. LITERATURE OR SCIENCE? science. HISTORY OR ART? art. CHOCOLATE BARS OR COTTON CANDY? same as above, neither. XBOX OR PLAYSTATION? playstation. FACE-TO-FACE OR PHONE INTERACTIONS? face-to-face interactions. DRAMA OR SCI-FI? sci-fi. HORROR OR COMEDY? comedy.

FIVE : ZANE’S LIKES & DISLIKES

FAVORITE ACTIVITY: training and playing football. FAVORITE ANIMAL: lion. FAVORITE BOOK: he doesn’t have one so far. FAVORITE QUOTE: ❝ everything negative - pressure, challenges - is all an opportunity for me to rise. ❞ — kobe bryant. FAVORITE COLOR(S): grey. FAVORITE DESIGNER: none that stands out enough to be deemed his favorite. FAVORITE CUISINE: there isn’t an exact favourite because he likes to mix and match, as well as try different things as long as it fits in his diet. FAVORITE DISH(ES): give him buddha bowls and you’ll have a very happy guy. he loves a good caesar salad too and he really does love sushi. sushi might be his favourite thing. FAVORITE DRINK: boring as it might sound, limeade. FAVORITE FLOWER(S): chaconia. FAVORITE GEM: diamond. FAVORITE HOLIDAY: he enjoys christmas but he doesn’t favour any particular holiday. FAVORITE MOVIE: training day. FAVORITE MUSIC GENRE: hip hop and r&b. FAVORITE SONG(S): nonstop by drake. GO TO KARAOKE SONG: he’d probably end up choosing something by drake but he doesn’t have one since he doesn’t do karaoke all that much. FAVORITE SCENT(S): vanilla, bergamot, musk and chocolate. FAVORITE TELEVISION SHOW(S): he has a hard time keeping up with shows but he’s been enjoying shows like atlanta and insecure, he also likes watching a good special on netflix for the laughs. he’s started watching when they see us and he’s really enjoying it too. FAVORITE SPORTS: football and basketball. SPORTS TEAM THEY SUPPORT: he doesn’t disclose what football team he really does support and instead, simply says there are teams everyone can appreciate and learn from. as for basketball, he really likes the celtics, la lakers and the bulls. FAVORITE EMOJI: 🔥 — he just likes how it looks really. FAVORITE WEATHER: summer weather all through and through. not just summer but hot summer days with that tropical twist, he doesn’t mind the thunder and the rain. he loves that island weather quality. FAVORITE SEASON OF THE YEAR: summer. FAVORITE PLACE(S): his grandparents house in port of spain is close to maracas beach and since he was a kid, he’s always felt very much at home in that particular place. SUPERPOWER THEY WISH THEY HAD: healing. VACATION DESTINATION: he really likes koh samui and thailand in general as a holiday destination.