#also what got me into astro boy

[hellspawnmotel]

uran and the god of death

[ugh-yoongi]

a word from our sponsors | knj

you’ve co-hosted a podcast with namjoon for three years; have known him even longer. the two of you have always been the picture of platonic, but that hasn’t stopped the internet from doing what the internet does. the shipping? a little weird at first, but you can understand it: two attractive twenty-somethings always in close proximity to one another, obvious (platonic!) chemistry—people have created ships for less. the fanfiction, though? also pretty funny… until you can’t stop thinking about it. 🎙️

pairing: namjoon x f. reader genre: podcast, friends to lovers au; crack, smut, fluff rating: explicit. minors do not interact. warnings: parasocial relationships galore, a m*n with a p*dcast, author abuses italics, swearing, alcohol, reader uses a pseudonym/nickname (piper) because writing the meta fanfiction scene would've been too weird without one and i refuse to use y/n, dialogue-heavy but it is a fic about a podcast, everyone is down horrendous, mentions of social media & fake r*ddit posts, ex-boyfriend yoongi but in a good, healthy way. let me know if i missed anything but mostly this is just two goofballs not realizing they're in love with one another. smut warnings: kissing, oral sex (f. receiving), fingering, unprotected vaginal sex (fiction), protected vaginal sex (nonfiction), a lil squirting, mild degradation, mentions of a p*ss kink but there is no actual pee i promise (...lest?), i didn't intend to write size kink but it's namjoon so it just showed up anyway, slight dom!joon, everyone orgasms. wordcount: 17.5k credits: this was entirely inspired by that one episode of the basement yard where frankie reads the smut fic of him and joe, so credits to both that author and that podcast. spotify, for their podcast name generator. astro-seek for helping me drag namjoon astrologically. an extra special, gigantic thanks to @effortandmore for writing the meta fanfic (3k of it, no less!) and not batting an eye when i said it could have pee in it as a joke. this is as much yours as it is mine. finally, @hot-soop and @the-boy-meets-evil for reading this over for me and telling me i'm funny. author's note: happy birthday, indigo! here i am to validate every fear you've ever had that the people you write porn about may one day read it. live and on air. :)

You’ve co-hosted a podcast with Namjoon for three years.

You can learn a lot about a guy in that amount of time.

None of it is especially salacious. You know all about his family and his dog and the brand of recycled paper towels he insists on buying in bulk. You know what he’d written his grad school thesis on and what he’d looked like in the thick of it, when he was staving off his fifth mental break of the week. You know how fidgety he gets when it’s closing in on Friday night and he’s got a date—how much he stresses over which restaurant to pick, which cologne, which expensive cashmere sweater to wear.

You also know what the internet thinks about him. Intimately.

Kim Namjoon, according to the internet, is peak husband material. He has cheeks ripe for pinching and thighs small countries would go to war to defend. He has a lap that doubles as a seat and dimples people want to get baptized in. He has Instagram selfies with hundreds of thousands of likes and comment sections full of intelligible keysmashes, especially the ones he posts from the gym.

Kim Namjoon, according to the internet, is a man written by a woman.

Looking at him now, you aren’t sure that’s true, you think people just need to raise their standards. Namjoon is just… Namjoon. He’s intelligent and kind and up to date on modern feminist theory, is all. And, sure, maybe in the current political landscape that puts him far above the rest of men, but the way the internet has latched onto him is a little concerning.

“There’s another post about whether or not we’re dating,” you say, pushing your glasses up the bridge of your nose.

sooo let’s be real here, we ALL think they’re dating, right?? Posted by u/pod-shipper 2 hours ago

Just like he always does, Namjoon huffs out a soft laugh, makes his way around to your side of the table. Puts his large hands on your shoulders as he leans in close to read from your screen, snorting every time he reads a sentence he finds particularly amusing. Whichever cologne he’d chosen this morning is, admittedly, very nice.

It’s sooo obvious, especially in the episodes they film and post on YouTube. The way they look at each other?? I don’t even look at my HUSBAND like that! (+1264) ↳ omg ur sooooo right! i could MAYBE buy that they aren’t full on dating, but they’ve def at least slept together. Namjoon is so 🔥🔥🔥 (+791) ↳ um how can namjoon be dating her when he’s already married to me 😌💅 (+3) ↳ For the millionth time, can we not speculate on their personal lives? This is weird and reinforces really harmful ideas that men and women can’t just be friends. (-51)

“How come they never talk about how hot you are?”

You can tell by the look on Namjoon’s face that he hadn’t meant to say that—or, if he did, he didn’t mean to say it like that, with an entire pout, eyebrows raised nearly to his hairline. “Cursed to be ugly and dumb,” you joke to ease the sudden tension, reading the comment that simply says you’d have to be the dumbest person alive to not sleep with Namjoon.

He scrunches his nose at that. Returns to his side of the table. “Yeah, I don’t think so, lots of people haven’t slept with me.” Starts to unpack all the gear from his bag before he says, “Hey, all that stuff—does it bother you?”

“What do you mean?” you answer, the corner of a protein bar stuck in your mouth. Namjoon always insists on recording at the most inconvenient times.

“People thinking we’re together,” he clarifies.

You shrug. “I dunno. Not really. Comes with the territory, I think, not to mention how much you love to overshare—”

“Hello?”

“I’m just saying,” you retort, hands raised in self-defense. “There really was no need for you to mention you blew your grad school stipend on a porn scam.” Namjoon looks affronted, like he can’t believe you’d stoop so low as to bring that up. “Or that you lost your virginity at fifteen.”

“We have a relationship podcast,” he states simply. “That’s kind of what we do, right? Talk about relationships? And the spectrum of human sexuality is part of that.”

You slump back in your chair as you quirk an eyebrow. “No one said it wasn’t, I just said you overshare. Which you do.”

“And that’s why there’s a dozen Reddit posts a week discussing whether or not we’re dating? Because I overshare?”

“Yeah, exactly. That’s the kind of behavior that leads to parasocial relationships. People latch onto that shit. Makes them think they’re your friend.” He glares. “Don’t give me that look, you know I’m right. It’s bad enough you’ve word-vomited all this highly personal information about yourself, but to not even do it under a pseudonym? It’s like you’re begging for trouble.”

Another comment he doesn’t even realize he’s making: “I don’t beg. For anything.”

To this day, you’re not sure why Namjoon asked you to co-host a podcast with him.

His reasoning had been simple: “You’re my best friend and we don’t agree on anything.” Hard to argue with that. Namjoon has seemingly endless patience, even in the face of things he shouldn’t entertain, and you… do not, to put it simply.

You’re not a cold person. Your fuse isn’t short. You’re just a little jaded, is all. Have far less propensity for bullshit than Namjoon does, so the two of you play well off each other. You end a sentence with a well-punctuated full stop and Namjoon’s right behind you to sigh and say maybe you shouldn’t be so hasty, not everything in the world can be so black or white.

Except some things are. Somewhere along the way, the podcast—which Namjoon had affectionately named Place Him Gently in the Garbage, even though some people should be shoved in there with force—had picked up a following. A big one. And now, every week, you’re inundated with emails ranging in severity. Sometimes people just want to vent after their tenth bad date in a row or share funny stories, and Namjoon lets you take the lead on those, but sometimes it’s a little more serious. That’s where Namjoon shines, all that endless patience, and people love him for it.

“What’s on the agenda today?” he asks, accepting a thick stack of papers from Jungkook.

Ah, Jungkook.

You aren’t sure what he actually does. Some kind of social media manager, which is obvious from the wildly out-of-context clips he posts of you to TikTok, and it’s his responsibility to go through the thousands of emails you get from listeners, but aside from that all you’ve got are your suspicions that he just sticks around to swindle Namjoon out of more and more money.

“I’m in a silly goofy mood,” comes Jungkook’s reply, and you let out a witch cackle as Namjoon winces. Nothing good ever comes of Jungkook being in a silly goofy mood, and that’s quite alright by you.

Fifteen minutes later finds you with a camera in your face that you greet with an unamused, flat stare. Jungkook is used to it by now. Just films for a few seconds before turning his attention to an unaware Namjoon. Head down, pen and highlighter going a mile a minute as he pores over the stack of papers with all the doggedness and eagle-eyed stare of a literature professor.

That’s the thing about Namjoon—he takes this really seriously. So do you, but not in the ways Namjoon does. He’s all skill and determination and you’re color commentary. It works. It clearly works, so you aren’t too bent out of shape about it, but sometimes you worry. Namjoon takes this really seriously and sometimes you worry that he takes it too seriously, that he carries the burdens and worries of all these strangers, that he’s trying to solve and fix things that aren’t his responsibility to solve and fix.

So he takes it really seriously and you don’t take it as seriously as you maybe should, and everything is by design. Balanced.

Twenty minutes later finds you staring across the table at Namjoon, who asks, “Are you ready?” and does one last equipment check before he launches into, “Welcome back to another episode of Place Him Gently in the Garbage with Namjoon and Piper. What’s new with you, Pipe? Any fun news?”

Pipe. It drives you nuts. Feels like nails on a chalkboard. “I see you almost every single day,” you respond dryly. “But for the sake of entertainment, I’m thinking about getting a cat.”

“A cat?” Namjoon parrots, and his eyebrows disappear beneath his fringe because he knows what that means.

You’ve co-hosted a podcast with Namjoon for three years, but you’ve known him even longer.

Since your first year of college, which is also when you met Yoongi. Yoongi, your ex. Yoongi, the person you’d been with for six years and had planned a life around. Yoongi, now one of your closest friends, because the two of you still love one another but no longer in that way, which is fine. But also—Yoongi, allergic to cats.

So, yeah. Namjoon knows what that means, and he has the good sense not to mention it. Unlike him, you’re intensely private and keep your cards close to your chest. Your listeners don’t even know your real name, let alone that you’d gone through a breakup a year ago.

“What kind of cat?” he continues, like his entire world hasn’t just been turned upside-down.

You shrug. “Eh, I don’t know. Probably one that’s been in the shelter a long time, I guess. I’m not too fussy, you know?”

“Right, a cat is a cat,” Namjoon says, thinking he’s done something. You and Jungkook gasp at the same time. “What? Why are you giving me that look?”

“Because that’s a fucked up thing to say! A cat is not just a cat. They have little personalities, just like people. You’ve got—”

“But you just said you’re not fussy,” he interjects. “And I know they have personalities and that you have to find one that suits your lifestyle! Like, you can’t have one of those really cool cats that likes to go kayaking and shit, it’d never work—”

“What does that mean? Why couldn’t I have a cool cat?”

“Hey, all you cool cats and kittens,” Namjoon mocks, and you can tell he thinks he’s done something again, but his impression falls flatter than flat. An awkward silence fills the studio. He coughs. “Anyway. Do you have pictures?”

“Yeah. I also have a list of candidates ranked by how cool their names are. Number five, Casserole.”

“That’s cute.”

“Mhm,” you agree, “but Casserole is a kitten, and I’m not sure I’m ready for that kind of responsibility.”

“They do say you should adopt kittens in pairs.”

“And that’s how they get you. You want one kitten and they talk you into two, and before you know it you’ve got, like, twelve cats. Number four, Party Girl.”

“Sick name.”

“Number three, Toddler.”

“Toddler?”

“Number two, Flat.”

“Just Flat? Understandable.”

“And, finally, number one: Human Torch.”

“Yoooo.” Namjoon laughs. “You have to adopt Human Torch. Let me see.” You pull up a picture on your phone and hand it over. “Okay, for our listeners—Human Torch is a young, male Domestic Short Hair. He has stripes. I don’t know what that’s called.”

“Tabby,” Jungkook chimes in.

“Jungkook says he’s a tabby. He’s cute. Adopt him.”

You return your phone to your pocket. “Maybe. I still think I want an older cat, but I’ll consider it. What about you, though? Any new dating horror stories to share?”

Ah, the dating horror stories. Your most dedicated shippers are convinced they’re fake, that Namjoon just makes them up on the spot to keep them off your trail. If only. Not in the if only they were fake and Namjoon and I were actually dating kind of way, but the holy shit one of my closest friends is a fucking disaster and it’s a little embarrassing kind of way.

“Not really,” he answers. “I’ve got a date this Friday, though. Trying to decide if dinner and a movie is too boring.”

“It’s a classic for a reason. What are you gonna see, My Big Fat Greek Wedding 3?”

“Three?” Namjoon emphasizes, truly sounding scandalized. “Since when are there three? I haven’t even seen one or two.”

“Okay, first of all, the original is a classic and it’s a crime you haven’t seen it.”

“And second of all?”

“There is no second of all. Repeat point one.”

He snorts. “I’m not gonna see that, anyway. Maybe the re-release of Howl’s Moving Castle.”

“Subbed or dubbed, though?”

“Are you trying to get me canceled?”

“Absolutely.”

“I like both,” he chickens out. “Now, let’s stop wasting time and get to the point of the show.”

“Talking about cats is a waste of time?”

“I—no, we’ve just got a lot on the agenda today.”

“Like what?”

“Well, there’s lots to talk about on the celebrity front—”

Namjoon loves this part. As esteemed and educated as he is, not even he is immune to good old celebrity gossip. (Inside him there are two wolves.) Lives for it. Texts you about it at all hours of the night. Sends you links to Reddit threads with hundreds of comments. Has more opinions on Celebrity Big Brother than he does on Ludwig Wittgenstein, sometimes, and when that’s the case you know you’re in for a long evening. You’ve never even seen an episode of Celebrity Big Brother.

But Namjoon loves it, so you’ve become fond of it by association. Reminds you a bit of Yoongi and his love for sports and sports anime.

“—one should we start with?”

“Whatever you want,” you answer, because you haven’t been paying a lick of attention and you aren’t sure it matters anyway. Namjoon can talk to a wall on a good day, but he’s an entirely different beast once mundane, innocuous celeb gossip gets involved.

And even though you hadn’t been paying attention, it seems like this was the right thing to say, because Namjoon smiles so wide his dimples crater his face. “Cool. Let’s start with Taryn Manning. Did you see that bizarre—”

“Who?”

“What?”

“Who is Taryn Manning?”

Namjoon looks a little dumbstruck. Even Jungkook’s arching an eyebrow at you. “Are you serious? She was in Orange is the New Black and Crossroads.”

“The Britney Spears movie?”

“Yeah.”

“Oh. Weird, okay. Continue.”

Your co-host shoots you a very pointed look. “I will, thanks. Anyway, she posted a video on social media talking about this affair she had with a married man. Like, she pulled over on the side of the road to record this. Said she can’t stand the man’s wife because she called her a quote-unquote lunatic.”

“I—huh, thought we weren’t supposed to say that anymore. Alright.”

“But wait, it gets even more bizarre. Listen to this quote—and this is direct. This is a direct quote from the video, I can’t stop thinking about it: ‘Don’t you ever threaten me when your husband came to me to get his butthole licked.’ Can you—”

“What? Namjoon, what in the fuck—”

“It’s crazy, right? She was gonna buy this guy a boat.”

“Namjoon, this is a family show, you can’t just talk about ass-eating unprompted.”

“No it’s not.”

“Well, you still shouldn’t talk about ass-eating unprompted. It’s unbecoming.”

“You’re unbecoming,” Namjoon fires back, because he can’t help it. The words are out of his mouth before he can think. “Sorry, that was out of line.”

You sigh. Know whatever look Jungkook is catching on his camera right now is exasperated and pointed, the corners of your mouth probably tugged up just a hint. “Unbecoming, like I said.” Namjoon scoffs. “Anyway, so this actress was gonna buy this married guy a boat and was eating his ass?”

“Yeah. Apparently it was her friend’s husband? They all went to a Taylor Swift concert together.”

“Jesus, this keeps getting worse. Big year for Hollywood cheaters.”

“It is, right? Cheaters and divorces. Something in the water, I guess.”

“I saw the astrology girlies saying a bunch of planets are in retrograde, so—”

“Can you explain that to me? Like, what does it mean for a planet to be in retrograde? Why is it causing divorces?”

“I don’t know, I’m not an astrology girlie. That’s why I said the astrology girlies. What are your big three, though?”

“What’s that?”

“Your sun, moon, and rising signs.”

“How do I find that out?”

“Ugh,” you intone, “don’t worry about it, I’ll do it myself. What time were you born?”

Namjoon rattles off a time.

You grab your laptop. Pull up the page, type in Namjoon’s date of birth and birthplace, and wait. Then you’re staring at a circle with a bunch of lines in it that also don’t make a lick of sense to you. You roll your lips to keep from laughing and school your voice into something deadly serious. “Bad news: it says you’re a virgin.”

“Virgo,” Namjoon corrects, not taking the bait. “I already knew that.”

You scroll a little further down the page. “Your moon is in Sagittarius. Oh god, listen to this, they’ve got you pegged: ‘The greatest need is to always search for something. In order to feel safe you need a philosophy or belief’—”

“Haaa, that’s not—”

“—’You need to have a goal or mission that gives your life meaning. Your faith must be voluntary and it is a paradox that fighting against dogmas may lead you to other dogmas.’ Yeah, that’s you.”

“That could apply to anyone,” he argues. “There are seven-billion people on this planet; I’d imagine a sizable amount of them would say that also describes them.”

“Hm, sounds like your faith in astrology is not yet voluntary. Did you know you’re a Scorpio rising?”

“No. I’m sure you’re gonna tell me all about it, though.”

You smile. “Correct. ‘People with Scorpio on the Ascendant need to fight against dark and destructive power in their life.’ Is that true?”

“Yeah, you’re the dark and destructive power. You keep sidetracking me and we need to get to the point of the podcast.” He grabs the stack of papers Jungkook had given him. Looks more highlighter than paper, if you’re being honest. “I guess Jungkook thought we needed a lighthearted kind of day.”

“That was nice of him, considering what he gave us last week. I guess we’re allowed to have faith in humanity today.”

To your left, Jungkook scoffs.

“Alright,” Namjoon starts, putting on his Very Serious Podcast Guy voice, “first up we’ve got a question from one of our listeners in Canada. It says, ‘Hi, Piper and Namjoon. I recently agreed to go on a blind date with a friend of a friend. She said he was a bit old-fashioned but really talked him up so I thought I was in good hands—and then he showed up to get me in a ‘67 GTO and exclusively referred to me as doll. He didn’t use my name once. I’m torn, because he was really nice and I had a good time otherwise, but this is weird, right? Should I see him agai—’”

“No,” you interject.

“Can I finish?”

“You don’t have to. This guy sounds greasy.”

Namjoon pinches the bridge of his nose. “And why is that?”

“Ignoring the fact that this guy has arguably one of the lamest classic cars around, he didn’t use their name once? Not once, in all the time they spent together? That’s really disrespectful.”

“Some people are just pet name people,” Namjoon argues.

“With absolute strangers, though? It’s really giving the impression that he didn’t even know it, not to mention some people are uncomfortable with pet names. The whole shtick is super lame.”

“I agree it sounds a bit misguided, but—”

Ignoring Namjoon, you say, “Sorry you had to go on a date with the ghost of less-cool James Dean. Into the garbage he goes.”

And, just like he’s done a million times before, Namjoon rolls his eyes and says, “If you really like this guy and want to see him again, a bit of communication will go a long way. Tell him the pet name made you uncomfortable—if it did—and offer to pick him up for the next date. I don’t think he’s completely destined for the garbage, yet.”

“You’re just saying that because you don’t have a license. You probably think a 1967 Pontiac GTO is the pinnacle of romance. That’s probably like picking someone up on a Specialized Aethos to you, eh?”

“That’s a fifteen-thousand dollar bike, I’ll have you know.”

You groan. “Oh my god.”

Ep: #183 - Namjoon is a Virgin

I think Namjoon had the right idea on this one. Sure, the car can be considered lame, but I think a lot of men are deeply insecure and therefore overcompensate when it comes to dating. Women are hard to impress when they have unlimited options. You have to stand out, so I’m glad he advocated for him. Piper can come off like such a misandrist sometimes. (-649) ↳ just shut up bro namjoon would fuckin hate u (+204) ↳ Imagine caring about something like this when they’re getting a cat together 🙄 (+19)

You think about the cat thing for nearly a week.

Adopting a cat is certainly not the worst idea you’ve ever had, and truth be told it’s been a little lonely, living by yourself. No more Yoongi in your space; no more Holly. So, having a new little friend around might do you some good.

It’s just—

It’s a big commitment, and there’s also the dog sitting-shaped elephant in the room. Ending things on good terms means you’re still Yoongi’s second-choice sitter whenever he has to go out of town, and while you love Holly dearly (the two of you had adopted him together, after all), he’s a lot like his father in a lot of ways.

Should I get a cat, you type out, and it’s only been in Yoongi’s inbox a few seconds before the most unflattering picture you’ve ever taken of him is flashing across your screen.

“Are you dying?” you ask, because Yoongi doesn’t call you for much else.

And you already know what his response is going to be. “We’re all dying.”

“Lighten up, Yoongi. One might say being so existentially nihilistic before noon causes wrinkles.”

There’s a split-second pause. “It’s nine p.m.”

“Sure, but it’s before tomorrow’s noon, so it still counts.”

“Whatever. Listen, before you adopt that cat, I need a favor.”

“You going out of town again?”

“Yeah. Shouldn’t be long, though. A week at the most, five days if I’m lucky.”

“That’s fine, bring him over whenever. Yijeong’s busy?”

This pause is far, far longer. “No,” comes Yoongi’s eventual response, but it’s slow. Unsure. A two-letter word has never taken so long to say in the history of ever. “He’s, uh. Coming with me?”

Oh, you think. This is where your ex awkwardly and hesitantly breaks the news of his new relationship. You’ve known this day was coming, and this is what you get for staying friends with him. “This is a fanfiction plot,” you accuse. “Hot, mysterious man moves into a gaudy apartment complex after ending a long-term relationship and meets his equally-hot and mysterious neighbor and they fall in love.”

“I—that’s not—my apartment is not gaudy.”

“Yes it is. There’s a giant gold bust of a weird bird in the lobby.”

“Weird bird?” he parrots. “It’s a swan.”

“I see you’re not denying the in-love-with-your-neighbor accusations.”

“Am I on trial?” Yoongi retorts, and it’s such a Yoongi thing to say when what he means is, is this okay? He means, are we able to talk about this without it being weird? He means, I won’t ever say as much out loud, but your acceptance means a lot to me, and I’d like for you to give me this.

So you lower your voice and soften the edges because it’s not really something to joke about, and you say, “No, of course you’re not on trial,” and Yoongi knows what you mean. “And if you were, you'd get locked up for fifty years. You can’t lie for shit.”

There’s a beat of silence before he clears his throat, mutters a thanks that is so quiet you almost don’t catch it. “Send me pictures of the cats.”

Later on, once you’re freshly-showered and tucked into bed with a candle and a book (Eloge de l’amour by Alain Badiou at Namjoon’s insistence and request), your phone buzzes with a text from Yoongi—

Yoongi: toddler is a fucking hilarious name for a cat but so is flat Yoongi: it’s a tie for me You: Okay well pick one 🙄 Yoongi: yijeong says get both You: Both???? Is he paying my vet bills? Yoongi: kinda out of line to proposition him for money. flat is also good with dogs, js You: If he’s now being raised by you two, my perfect, well-behaved son is probably long gone. Does he even count as a dog anymore? Yoongi: me and yijeong both say fuck off Yoongi: holly too. he says he doesn’t miss you anymore and he’s not coming over now Yoongi has added Yijeong to the group Yoongi has changed the group name to #ThirdWheelChat Yijeong: Please don’t drag me into this. Also I did not say “fuck off” You have changed the group name to People Who Have Seen Yoongi Naked Yoongi: fuck you

You should’ve known something was going on with Jungkook, because it’d started like this:

(When you and Namjoon started the podcast three years ago, it was in the living room of his apartment.

Surrounded by books and plants. He loved to record in the afternoons back then—Namjoon loved to say it was because of his grad school schedule, but you’ve always suspected he just wanted to preen in the golden hour light, much like he’s doing now.

“Is this really necessary?” Jungkook whines from his spot on the couch. He’s already swindled Namjoon out of two bags of microwavable popcorn and three cans of sparkling water. “It’s a Saturday afternoon; I could be doing something so much more fun than this.”

Namjoon scoffs. “Are you saying this isn’t fun?”

“Yeah. It sucks, actually. This could’ve been an email.”

And because Namjoon is accomplished, mature, and absolutely incapable of not taking Jungkook’s bait, the space between his brows creases as he sends a murderous glare Jungkook’s way. “Stop eating my food, then. And drinking my drinks. And lounging on my couch like that—”

“I’m not lounging,” Jungkook argues.

“You’re manspreading all over the leather!”

“This is how I sit!”

“Well, knock it off! My couch is only for fun and people who think I’m fun!”

Jungkook rolls his eyes. “So you fuck on it?”

“What?”

“What other fun things could you possibly do on a couch?”

Namjoon blinks. “Watch… watch a movie?”

Jungkook groans, throws himself backwards against the pillows as if he’s suffering a Victorian ailment. “Jesus. No wonder you can’t score a second date.”

“Okay, that was a little uncalled for. There are a ton of reasons a person might not want a second date, and no one is obligated to go out with me—”

“Uh-huh. Anyway—”

You clear your throat. Try to hide your own can of seltzer you’d taken from Namjoon’s fridge in the midst of his and Jungkook’s bickering. “Not trying to be rude, but I have an appointment at the shelter at three. If, y’know. You wouldn’t mind speeding this up a little.”

“Oh! Yeah, of course—”

“Oh, so you’ll speed this up for her but not—”

Namjoon pinches the bridge of his nose. “She,” he begins, jerking his thumb in your direction, “isn’t needlessly complaining and actually has someplace to be.”)

It was just a quick little rendezvous in Namjoon’s living room to come up with a rough draft for the following month’s episodes. He couldn’t do it over text because he’d fallen down the steps at his office and landed on his ass on the corner of a step and his phone had been in his back pocket. Cracked clean in half. And he couldn’t do it over email because he—rightfully—knew Jungkook would ignore them because he has his inbox set up to send all of Namjoon’s personal emails to the trash.

But Jungkook holds onto things like that. Grudges. Loves to let Namjoon think bygones are bygones and pop up a few days later with some evil scheme. Hence:

“What is this?”

Jungkook smirks. Rocks back on his heels. “It’s fanfiction.”

“I can see that, but… why?”

This is where Jungkook shines: the ominous, cheshire cat grin; the aw, shucks demeanor that gaslights Namjoon into thinking Jungkook couldn’t possibly be fucking with him. “Well, you were having trouble coming up with ideas for episodes, and there’s an email in there from someone whose partner reads really expli—”

“Jungkook, this is fanfiction about me.”

You can’t help the laugh that escapes you. Of all the weird shit you’ve seen on the internet (and there’s been a lot), fanfiction of people you know—your friends—was something you’d managed to escape. Probably by virtue of not knowing anyone famous enough to warrant fanfiction being written about them.

But you should’ve known. You really, really should’ve known.

“Oh my god?”

You’re not sure who says it. Could be you or Namjoon, but the sentiment is the same. He mouths a what the fuck at you that’s met with a shrug. You’re in uncharted territory now, too. “Where did you even find this?” you ask, taking the stack of papers from Namjoon. “And why did you print it out?”

“Because I’m going to track down whoever wrote it and get them to autograph it. Then I’m going to buy a nice frame and hang it on the wall behind him, so we never forget this historical moment in Place Him Gently in the Garbage lore.”

“It’s a podcast,” Namjoon deadpans, “how can it have lore? And how much lore can there possibly be?”

“It’s the internet,” you concede. “The lore possibilities are endless. Don’t tempt them.”

Jungkook nods sagely, well-versed in the degeneracy of the internet. “Yeah, that’s how you end up with shit like 4chan.”

“4chan? There’s Space Jam porn on there.”

As the youngest, all Jungkook can do is roll his eyes. “Sometimes explaining this shit to you feels like trying to teach old people how to rotate PDFs—”

Namjoon scoffs. “I’m not that bad. I know how to rotate a PDF.”

Wow, Jungkook mouths. “Anyway, back to the fanfiction—”

“I don’t want to talk about it,” Namjoon interjects. He looks at you. “It’s weird, right? Like, it’s weird that people have written this about us?”

About us.

Your scope of the world narrows to the size of a pinhead. It’d just been about Namjoon before. This is fanfiction about me, he’d said, and you hadn’t been included in that. Now it’s written about us and you’re included.

“I—what?”

“It’s about us,” Namjoon repeats.

Jungkook rolls his lips. “It’s about the two of you fucking, to be specific.”

“Can you not—”

“Fucking a lot,” Jungkook continues. “So much fucking.”

Namjoon looks at you, and it’s all you can do to keep from laughing. The look on his face is pure bewilderment, both that Jungkook has cooked up this idea and is hell-bent on executing it and that he remains employed. And maybe it’s a little bit of nerves, too, because neither of you are ignorant of the risks. Reading fanfiction about yourselves—about the two of you as a couple, specifically, or at least two people who have sex—is weird. Not something you can unread.

And maybe it’s because you’re so determined to not make it weird that you send Namjoon a cheeky, exaggerated wink, shrug your shoulders, and say, “I’ll need a couple drinks, but I’m down.”

Jungkook throws his head back and cackles wildly, and that look of bewilderment on Namjoon’s face morphs into something else. Trepidation, maybe; definitely disbelief, because sometimes he lets himself get swept away in Jungkook’s schemes, but it’s rare that you follow suit.

As Jungkook continues to laugh, you wonder if you should’ve said no.

Namjoon has two stipulations: the two of you have to film the episode completely alone, and he, too, needs to be a little drunk.

The latter? Piece of cake, considering Namjoon has become some sort of whiskey aficionado in recent years. His drinking is streamlined and to the point—he knows exactly how much and what to drink to get him where he wants to be. You can’t say he isn’t efficient.

The former, though? Borderline impossible. From the second Namjoon states his terms, Jungkook is having none of it. Argues that he’s the one who found the story and the one who cleared it with the author, so he deserves to witness the fruits of his labor.

“No,” Namjoon repeats for the nth time, “no way. I’ll barely be able to do this with just her, let alone both of you.”

And that—that doesn’t bother you, right? You force a laugh, because why would it bother you?

There are few secrets between you and Namjoon, except your respective sex lives have been staunchly off-limits. Namjoon could be a virgin for all you know, and as you study him—the way he keeps bobbing his leg, the slight shake in his hands—you wonder if that’s the reason he’s being so weird about this.

It’s just a story.

Fiction.

Most people don’t have to worry about someone writing stories about them fucking their friends. If they do, you reckon even less actually read them. So, sure, it’s a little strange, but people from all over the world send in stranger stuff all the time, don’t they? It’s literally the reason you’re in this predicament.

Eventually Jungkook agrees. His whining has gotten him nowhere, so he just throws up his hands. Posts a cryptic little “u guys won’t believe what the next patreon ep is lmao” that sends the internet into a frenzy. Doubles your Patreon numbers almost immediately, and both you and Namjoon do a good job of pretending the pressure isn’t overwhelming.

Jesus. You have to read explicit fanfiction about yourselves. On camera.

Namjoon gets caught up with work and isn’t available until the weekend, so you’re forced to sit with the nerves for a few days. Not too bad at first, but you’re nearly coming out of your skin by Thursday with the need to know. You’re well-versed in the world of fanfiction, but this is fanfiction about you: your name, your likeness, maybe even your personality.

What will they know of Namjoon, though?

Will they get it right, the way he looks with his jaw clenched? How impossibly deep his voice can go, both when it’s raspy with sleep and when he’s fully at ease? Will the Namjoon in the story be closer to the Namjoon you know, or the version of himself he presents to the public?

And you’ve known him a long time—long enough that there are few secrets between you, but you don’t know the most intimate parts. All the parts the internet loves to speculate on. All the little gaps that, apparently, need to be filled in by fanfiction.

Will they know what Namjoon looks like when he gets off?

No, you scold yourself, jerking awkwardly like you’ve been burned, and neither will you.

Because you are not going to think about this. Your thoughts are not going to go there. Namjoon is your friend, and you’ve listened to him scold an endless amount of men on the podcast for exactly this behavior. Sexualizing their friends. You’re not going to do it, too.

Maybe that’s why you’re kind of seeing double when it comes time to record. Namjoon needed an extra shot and offered you one as well. You’d necked it without a second thought and now you’re here, trying to ignore the slight tilt of the room as Namjoon adjusts the camera.

“How’s the shot look?” he asks, gesturing vaguely behind him at his laptop screen because Jungkook had refused to lend you his fancy cameras if he wasn’t allowed to be involved.

It’s a completely normal question.

It’s a question you’ve asked and answered a million times.

Except—there’s something horribly distracting about Namjoon in this moment. The outline of his back muscles through the thin fabric of his t-shirt. The way the sleeves are tight around his biceps. He’s always been a gym rat, always carries around a protein shake that smells and looks completely foul, but you can’t remember it ever being this obvious.

And you take too long to answer, because Namjoon straightens up just enough to send you a concerned look. Which does not help. You are not imagining what else might cause his brows to pinch like that, what might have his lips parting, have sweat dotting his hairline.

You swallow. Hard.

“Looks fine,” you manage to say. He’s still staring. Are you on fire? You feel like you’re on fire, which would make sense. Would explain Namjoon’s sweating and concerned stare and the fact that he cannot stop staring at you. “Maybe a tiny bit to the right if we’re being picky,” you tack on, hoping it’ll break whatever spell the two of you are ensnared in.

It works. “To the—the right, yeah, makes sense,” he rambles.

He moves it an inch to the left.

—

Things are tense, to say the least.

Recording hasn’t been this awkward since your first episode, or maybe ever. You’re sat across from one another like you always are, and usually Namjoon would be making quip after quip by now, talking endlessly until Jungkook shushed him long enough to get the intro filmed. Now, there’s just silence.

“Should we…?” Namjoon startles. Bangs his knee on the underside of the table and drops a string of curses. “Sorry, are you—”

“I’m fine,” he says, cutting you off. He gestures vaguely toward the camera. “I’ll just… yeah.”

Showtime.

You wipe your hands on your jeans, unsure of when they got so damp. Unsure of when you’d grown so nervous, too, because you’d been fine an hour ago. Had strolled in with two cups of tea and a little too much confidence, giddy at what you were about to do.

Maybe the nerves had shown up alongside the alcohol. This sounds reasonable, and you do not, under any circumstance or for any reason, think about Namjoon’s back. Or his biceps.

Namjoon makes it through the intro, dimples deep and wide as he smiles, and you also don’t think about the way his voice cracks and gets a little breathy when he introduces you. It’s only because he’d been drinking, and the flush on his cheeks attests to that. The same flush that creeps down his neck, still a little sweaty; disappears beneath the hemline of his shirt.

“—Jungkook had. Right, Piper?”

Now it’s your turn to startle, and there’s not much you can do to hide the obvious except ask Namjoon to redo the shot. Because it’s bad enough the internet already overanalyzes every move you make, every word choice, every instance you’ve stared at Namjoon a second longer than they thought you would—this is a blatant display of… affectedness.

“Sorry,” you say, “I wasn't paying attention. Can we redo it?”

You’re expecting a playful scolding. A ha ha, get it together, because that’s what you usually get. But there’s nothing aside from Namjoon studying you and nodding. Asking if you’re okay. Saying, “Is this—this is weird, right? Is it too weird? Maybe we shouldn’t—”

An out. Namjoon is giving you an out, and you should take it, you know you should take it, so there’s absolutely no reason at all you shake your head and say, “No, no, it’s fine! I think I’m just a little, uh. Drunk?”

“Are you sure? We can—”

“It’s fine, Joon,” you insist. “Besides, it’ll be good content, right?”

“Good content,” he parrots. “Yeah, for sure.” He fidgets in his seat, runs his hands down the span of his thighs. Very, very thick thighs. “I’ll grab us some water.”

You faceplant onto the table as soon as he’s out of the room. When did his thighs get so thick?

But the water helps. Cures whatever strange, insatiable thirst has come over you, because you feel much more human after a few glasses. Less drunk, too, which makes sense. Yoongi could barely escape your drunken, horny wrath when the two of you were together, so you chalk it up to a Pavlovian response.

Namjoon does the intro again. Introduces you strong and steady, not a hint of nerves, and explains, with a fresh blush taking over his upper body, what the episode’s going to be about. “Someone wrote fanfiction about us,” he says, scratching at the back of his neck. “It’s, uh, pretty explicit. Jungkook thought it’d be funny if we read it.”

You snort. “He might get fired, depending on how this goes.”

“He should get fired regardless,” Namjoon deadpans. “Anyway, we have permission from the author to read this so don’t come after us, and, as always, we’ll put all the credits in the video description.”

“Special shoutout to Jungkook, though, who was not allowed to be here with us for this momentous occasion.”

Namjoon laughs. “I’m sure he’s having plenty of fun at home.” You both pause. “That’s not—I’m not implying anything with that! I just meant—you know, like. He’s hanging out and enjoying his day off.”

“Uh-huh.”

“Moving on. I have two copies of this. Do you want your own?”

You grin, wicked and wide. “Nah, just read it to me.”

“Making me do all the work,” he huffs. “Typical.”

“There’s a stack of papers in front of you that might say otherwise.”

It’s clear you catch him off-guard. He cocks an eyebrow, opens and shuts his mouth a few times like a goldfish. An obvious question sits on the tip of his tongue: You think you’d be in charge? Instead he coughs, jerks his head to the side, and says, “I guess we’ll see.”

It sounds like a challenge.

Thirty seconds is all you get before Namjoon’s shuffling his stack of papers and clearing his throat. Asking if you’re ready and jumping right into it once you say you are. Reads the first few lines like they’re some old lecture notes, and they’re conservative and safe-for-work enough that you start to relax.

And then Namjoon reads, “A louder one wonders if Namjoon is a pet name person—if he’d call her ‘honey,’ or ‘gummy bear,’ ‘babe,’ or ‘baby,’” and you choke.

“Gummy bear?”

Namjoon laughs along with you—the weird one that almost sounds like a dog panting. “You want me to call you gummy bear?”

“I want you to call me a Lyft,” you snark. “I’m leaving.”

He continues:

And that’s how it starts, wandering thoughts, wandering fingers—the first time Piper comes to the thought of Namjoon calling her baby, pushing inside her, showing her that he definitely doesn’t beg, but she does… Well, she’s a little ashamed. She’s apparently got a reputation to maintain, anyway, not to mention a friendship.

His eyes leave the paper and lock onto you. “Or maybe you’d prefer baby?”

“Fuck off.”

Weeks after that first time, it’s become a habit, thinking about Namjoon as something more than a friend. It’s confusing and a little mortifying and it’s starting to affect her in ways she hadn’t expected. When they record, she feels fidgety—she’s jumpy when he gets close, has all the stupid obvious tells of an unwanted crush: her breath hitches when he whispers (why the fuck is he whispering in her ear, anyway? Doesn’t he know what that does to a person?) inside jokes to her so Jungkook can’t hear, her heart rate spikes when their fingers accidentally brush, she feels itchy and hot and a little embarrassed whenever he holds eye contact with her. It’s terrible, and it’s only made worse by the way he’s doing all of those things more than usual. Or, at least she thinks he is, thinks she’s not imagining the way his eyes linger on her more than she can remember happening before or the way she’s caught him staring at her lips when she chews on the end of her pencil mindlessly. 

You’ve completely forgotten how to breathe.

Namjoon’s staring again. You need to salvage this. He’s only on paragraph three and you’re already squirming in your chair and imagining things that are not appropriate. So you roll your lips, return his teasing. “Well? Do you stare at my lips?”

It works. “No,” he scowls.

“You sure?” you joke, morphing your face into something half-pout, half-duck face.

“We’re never gonna finish this if you keep making comments.”

“You started it,” you point out. “Go on, then.”

There’s some dialogue. Some prose that hits way too close to home, has you wondering who on earth wrote this and how they plucked every single thought from deep within your psyche. A pang of fear that maybe you haven’t been as subtle as you’d thought all these years. A moment to confirm to yourself that, no, you haven’t been harboring a secret, deeply-buried crush on Namjoon.

Then he reads—

And then he kisses her. It’s greedy and hot, his lips like a branding iron. She moans a little against her better judgment when he licks at the seam of her mouth, and in return, she can feel Namjoon’s lips curve into a smile against her own. It’s better than she’d been imagining it, really. He’s a good kisser—firm at the right times, soft when she needs it, careful but not cautious. He holds her jaw with one hand and keeps her right where he wants her beneath him (as if she’d want to move, anyway).  When their lips finally part, he rests his forehead on hers. It’s intimate in a way she hadn’t expected, and he looks at her as if she’s the answer to every question. Finally, he whispers, “What’re we doing, Piper?” His lips are still wet and pink and a little swollen from kissing, and she barely hears the question—she’s too busy thinking about kissing him again, about pulling his plump bottom lip between her teeth, teasing and…  “Kissing,” she says finally.  “What do you want?” he asks, sinking to his knees in front of her. And if that alone isn’t an answer to his question… “Whatever you’re willing to give,” she replies. It feels like she’s wanted this forever, this and so much more. Once she got the idea in her head, it’s hard to know if she ever felt differently, ever truly thought they could just be friends. Or, if in the back of her mind, in the dark corners that she never lets see daylight, she always knew she wanted Namjoon. Always knew she loved him.

—and everything goes right out the fucking window.

Namjoon sits with those words for a moment. Scans the paper in his hands and frowns a little when he confirms what you already know. “The rest is, uh. Porn.”

“That is why we’re here.”

“Last chance to back out.”

“I’m not scared,” you lie. “Are you? You’re the one who keeps stalling.”

He huffs. “You’re a pain in my ass,” he retorts, and then nothing is all that funny anymore.

Because Namjoon was right: the rest is straight-up porn. He’s barely able to read the part where he goes down on you with a straight face, turning a deep shade of crimson. Stutters through the part where you pull his hair, and that is not something you needed to know about your friend. You think he loses his grasp of language entirely when he reads, “When he slides a long finger into her and brushes past her most sensitive spot, she arches into him and lets his name fall from her lips in a soft cry. Piper, notorious skeptic, is a babbling, trembling mess as she gets closer to her orgasm,” because all the words are garbled together, producing nothing but gibberish. You think he’s ready to keel over and die when he reads, “Namjoon pulls away briefly, lips slick with her juices, and licks over his top one, pausing to tell her how good she tastes before he dives back in.”

“That was nice of them to include. I appreciate their attention to detail in regards to my personal hygiene.”

“This is so embarrassing,” he whines.

You roll your eyes good-naturedly. “Gimme. I’ll finish it.” He hands over the papers immediately.

Except you regret it immediately. The words you’re staring at are not words you ever thought you’d read or recite in your entire life. Not even for a million dollars. “Oh,” you say instead.

“See? Not as easy as it looks.”

“This is really embarrassing,” you confirm. “I might need another shot.”

“Y-yeah. Alcohol sounds good.”

Namjoon staggers forward obligingly, looks completely fucked out and pliant, willing to do whatever she asks. She remembers the sounds he made when she pulled his hair, wonders if he likes being bossed around, if he wants her to tell him what to do, to be a little mean to him. Maybe it’s different from her dreams, maybe he will beg her. She wants him so badly, she’d do anything for him. So, she pulls his briefs down to expose his absurdly large member, already mostly hard, and slaps it. Gently at first to see how he’ll react, and when he shudders and jerks his hips, she does it again, a little harder. “Look at you,” she whispers, “such a needy boy.”  He whimpers at that, eyes pleading. “Please, Piper…” he whines.   “Please what?” “Please let me fuck you,” he begs. She wants to, wants him so much, wants to feel him stretch her open, and from the looks of his cock, thick and long and drooling with precum, he could. “Should I?” she asks. She musters all her confidence to keep the condescending tone up. It feels wrong given how desperate she is to get him inside her, but it also seems to be getting him worked up and equally as desperate. “Do you even know what to do with that big, stupid cock?”  Namjoon’s cock twitches, and he begs, “I—I’ll fuck you so good, Piper…. I know how, I promise. Just… please?”

“Oh my god,” the two of you say in unison.

You so badly want to ask if this is biographical. How Namjoon feels about a little degradation; what he’d do if someone actually called his cock stupid. Ifsomeone has called his cock stupid. You dare a glance at him and conclude that someone’s had to. Namjoon just has that kind of energy.

But you can’t ask because it’d be weird, so you keep reading.

“How do you want me?” she asks softly when their lips part. There’s a wild look in his eyes, like he’s processing all the possible options out of everything he’s considered. And then it occurs to her. “Have you imagined this before? Thought about how you’d fuck me?” she teases him as she stands, stepping into him. Piper pushes one hand through his hair, brushing it back off of his forehead and wraps her other around his dick, squeezing a little for emphasis on her words. “Yes,” he groans as she strokes him, thumbing at the head of his cock. “Tell me what you want, then. Want me on all fours for you? Want me to show you how it’s done, to let you lay back and ride you so you don’t have to put in any work?” Namjoon’s breathing is getting heavy, pupils blown wider with each suggestion. 

“I told you!” you shriek, laughing in between the words. “I told you I’d…” And then your gloating tapers off, because what happens next has your brain malfunctioning.

“All of that,” he whines as she lets go of his hair and brings her hand down to run a fingertip over his perineum. “Want all of that. Want to bend you over the table and fuck you right here. Hear your sounds in the microphone.” Even in her dirtiest thoughts about him, she hadn’t considered the microphone, hadn’t considered recording it. When she thinks about it though, it makes sense. Namjoon is exactly the kind of person that would get off to someone’s voice. So, she does. She makes a show of turning around and slowly bending over the table, sliding her upper body across it carefully until she can reach her microphone and turn it on. When she says into it, “What’re you waiting for?” she sees over her shoulder the way that Namjoon shivers.

This is… not good. You’re never going to be able to look at a microphone the same way, which is extremely not good for a person who supplements their income with a very popular podcast that requires them to speak into a microphone for extended periods of time.

This is very, very bad.

Namjoon must be thinking the same, because he lets out a strangled a-haaa that’s less of a laugh and more a plea to God, the gods, the entire gamut of higher powers that might be able to save him. No one’s going to, you think, staring down at the paper again. This godless piece of fanfiction will be preserved on the internet forever, will be seared into your mind forever, and no amount of praying is going to erase it.

“I should, uh. Just read the rest, yeah? Get it over with?”

“Mhm. Yep. Yes, please.”

Don’t say please, you almost say. You can’t take it; not after what you’ve just read.

So you put on a show. Steel your expression and your nerves and take it seriously. Use voices and sound effects and desperately try to stave off the awkwardness you know is inevitable because a smut fic is probably only going to end one way, and that’s with you acting out Namjoon having an orgasm.

Maybe you’ll have another one, too, if the author is nice.

It’s sweet, she thinks, the way he’s easy for her, takes his time with her. Strokes his fingertips along her sides and kisses the back of her neck reverently. As much as she loves it, part of her hopes he’s not always like this—hopes he’ll give as good as he takes, hopes he’ll put her in her place. She can feel his cock hard against the cleft of her ass, not even inside her yet, and still, she thinks about next time and the time after that. “Still okay?” He breathes into her ear as his tip rubs against her cunt.  “Yeah—want you, Joon.”  “Never thought I’d hear you say those words.”  “I never thought you’d record them,” she teases, eyes glancing up to the flashing light showing the mic picking up all of this as he starts his slow slide into her.  Piper falls even further forward when he bottoms out, letting her forehead rest on the table. He’s whispering filth in her ear, about how he has something to prove, how she’ll never want anyone after this, how no one can fuck her the way he does.  She hates that he’s right.  Each stroke brings a new sensation: sparklers, butterflies, nerve endings on fire as he fucks into her and licks and sucks at her neck, her shoulders, her ear. Piper can’t even think, and this is what people mean when they talk about being fucked stupid, she decides.  It’s perfect.  Every time she thinks she’s getting close again, he changes something: fucks her a little shallower, moves his hips just a little, slows down, speeds up… It’s driving her crazy.  “Come on,” she whines. “I’m so close…” At least she can tell he is, too. No longer able to sustain the dirty talk, he’s breathing heavily, letting out broken moans and sighs of her name. He’s moving rhythmically now, thrusts consistently faster.  “Oh, fuck, Piper,” he groans, “Gonna cum.” One of his hands finds her clit and he rubs careful circles over her, bringing her to her peak along with him, no more teasing.  When she comes, it’s with a loud moan into the studio mic, and that seems to be what tips Namjoon over the edge, too. His hips stutter into hers as he comes, her cunt clenching around him for what feels like forever.

You deserve an award, you think. An Oscar. You didn’t even groan when you had to read the word “cunt,” and that’s a feat in and of itself.

“Is it over?” Namjoon asks, words muffled by the hands covering his face.

“Not quite,” you answer. “There’s some aftercare, and at the end you ask if I’ll piss on you.”

Namjoon gags. “I asked you what—”

“Today’s episode has been brought to you by Stamps-dot-com—”

HOLY SHIT THE NEW PATREON EPISODE???????? Posted by u/pod-shipper 4 minutes ago NO WAY. NOOOOOOO FUCKING WAY DUDE THERE’S NO FUCKING WAY THEY DID THIS AS AN ACTUAL EPISODE WHAT THE FUCK WHAT HTE FUCK WHAT EHTU FKF DFGLKDG;L (+705) I wasn’t sure if they were messing around before, and I was quite critical of the “shippers,” but now I’m pretty convinced. (+423) ↳ we’ve been telling y’all for YEARS 😤 (+197) ↳ Glad you’ve seen the light, u/RandomAcorn2058! (+5) ↳ ugh. they weren’t messing around before and they aren’t messing around now. do you guys not listen to what they say? namjoon’s been dating, and piper got out of a six-year relationship just over a year ago. if they’ve had something going on for “years” that means they’re both cheaters, and that’s a really shitty thing to assume about them. not to mention it makes the entire point of the podcast moot. (-63) Why do you guys think Jungkook “wasn’t allowed” to be there? (+314) ↳ So they could fuck lmao it’s so obvious (+329) ↳ because it’s awkward af? would you wanna read porn about yourself w all your coworkers in the room? (+2) ↳ the “it’s awkward” excuse is sooooo lame he’s the one who found it and is the one who edited the episode, he’s gonna see it regardless. (+15) ↳ Tbh I’m more curious about how he even found it to begin with? Do they have a throuple thing going on? Like, why was he looking for smut fic about his bosses? (+38)

You do not get through recording unscathed.

You are very scathed. Perhaps the most scathed a person has ever been.

Jungkook texts the group chat sporadically throughout the week, cracking jokes and making memes at your and Namjoon’s expense which is par for the course and shouldn’t have you off-kilter, but something inside you feels deeply wrong. Feels like someone’s given you devastating news; feels like it used to back in uni when you knew you’d failed an exam and were just waiting to see how badly.

It both helps and doesn’t that the internet is so invested. All the clips Jungkook keeps posting have re-doubled your Patreon numbers, and jumping up a tax bracket never hurt anyone, you included. But all of those jokes and memes largely went unanswered by both you and Namjoon, still too close to the incident to find the humor in it from the other side.

The two of you had sex.

Not literally, of course, but you figure you might as well have with the way you’re feeling. The way you’re avoiding one another. Someone wrote a story about the two of you having sex and you both read it and something about that, days later, feels really fucking unsettling.

In a bad way? You aren’t sure. It’s not like you’re mad or upset or any other synonym. You just feel… off. Itchy from the inside out, and that’s far from the norm in your and Namjoon’s friendship. In all the years you’ve known one another, you’ve never once avoided each other, including the time you’d set him up with a close friend and he showed up 45 minutes late to their date and ghosted after.

(Unsurprisingly, that friendship had not lasted.)

Maybe it’s because Yoongi had always been there as a buffer. You aren’t of the belief that men and women cannot be platonic friends, but being in a years-long committed relationship nixed a lot of awkward interactions and assumptions off the bat. Even Namjoon had known Yoongi first. Had introduced himself to you in your shared 100-level psych course with a, “Hey, you’re Min Yoongi’s girlfriend, right?” because they ran in the same underground circles and Namjoon had idolized him from afar for years.

Pretty fucked up, then, that Yoongi’s off in Los Angeles with his hot new boyfriend and you’re on your couch, Holly at your feet, pointedly ignoring your texts.

“I’m gonna get a cat,” you say to the dog, trying to redirect his attention when he starts chewing on your sock again. Holly doesn’t offer any input, of course, and he’s a lot like his father in that way. “I can’t believe you have a stepfather. You’re a proper child of divorce now, Min Holly.”

There are a pile of unread texts you continue to ignore in lieu of showing Holly pictures of adoptable cats. A few more memes from Jungkook, one from Namjoon’s new phone asking to move the recording date a few days because “something came up at work,” one from the food delivery service you admittedly use too much offering 10% off your next order, and two from Yoongi. This reminded me of you, the first one says beneath a picture of an ice cream cone on the ground, and another one of him holding a water gun that says send me a picture of my son or else.

You eventually reply back with a picture of your middle finger, Holly nothing but a blurred brown blob in the corner of the frame.

That’s how it goes for the better part of a week. Namjoon’s work issue lasts four days. He doesn’t offer an explanation and you don’t ask for one, you just wait for the all-clear text and try to quiet the nerves once you get it.

You’ve never been nervous to see Namjoon before.

The more popular the podcast became, the more money rolled in. The more money that rolled in, the more you could afford nicer things. That meant going from recording in Namjoon’s living room to a bona fide office space. Third floor, an expanse of windows and natural light, thirty-five minute commute by train.

Today, it feels more like thirty-five seconds.

You can hear Jungkook’s witch cackle from the stairwell, and your mind fills in the blanks of Namjoon’s exasperated sigh. It helps, your brain reminding you that you know these people. You know this is Jungkook’s late gym day, so he’ll be in a pair of sweats and a hoodie that drowns his frame. You know that when Namjoon has work issues and feels like an inconvenience, he always shows up with two boxes of baked goods from the bakery near his place, and you know both of them will save the best donut for you.

So you walk in and Jungkook’s in a hoodie and sweats just like you expect him to be, and there are two boxes of baked goods next to the coffee machine. Both of them say hello and wave and, for all intents and purposes, everything is normal.

Except it isn’t.

Because Namjoon looks… different.

Not in a bad way. Not in a bad way. He almost always dresses nicely, always looks polished and put-together, usually because he’s either going to or coming from campus—fitted shirts, either of the tee or dress variety, and earth-toned cardigans; tailored trousers that are sometimes corduroy; polished loafers. Sometimes, if he’s feeling extra casual, a stark white pair of tennis shoes.

Today, he wears none of those things.

No, today torture comes in the form of form-fitting jeans and a t-shirt a little oversized so he can roll the sleeves. His hair is brushed back off his face instead of parted down the middle. He’s wearing gold jewelry that glints in the sun. A pair of off-white Converse high-tops. And, much to your horror, he’s also wearing his glasses.

According to the internet, Kim Namjoon is peak husband material, which you can usually ignore, but not when he’s wearing glasses.

You avert your gaze, convinced you’ll burst into flames if you stare too long, not to mention Jungkook will notice and that’s a ribbing you’d rather die than take. So you avert your gaze and pointedly ignore Namjoon, who’s talking about his work crisis to no one in particular. Something about a co-worker going on an unexpectedly early paternity leave, and Namjoon being asked to cover some of his courses until they could find a more permanent fix.

Jungkook asks a question you don’t catch. Because paternity leave means his co-worker and his partner had a baby, presumably via old-fashioned methods, and it’s not a direct mention of sex but it’s close enough to send you into a coughing fit you have to blame on your donut. Neither of them buy it, but Namjoon is a good enough person to look genuinely concerned. Reaches out, probably to slap your back, but the thought of him touching you is just… too much.

So he barely gets out an, “Are you o—” before you choke down whatever’s left in your mouth and cut him off with a, “Yep, all good!” before you’re scurrying off to the opposite side of the room like a little rat.

It doesn’t get any better.

Both of you are so stilted and awkward during recording that Jungkook has to be the voice of reason and call it, suggest trying again tomorrow. Luckily he has enough b-side stuff he can release if need be, Namjoon’s work emergency providing a decent cover, and he sends the two of you home for the afternoon with all the exasperation and incredulity of a disappointed parent.

Thirty-five minutes back home.

Thirty-five minutes to sit in the embarrassment of not being able to do your job. Thirty-five minutes to catastrophize and wonder what you’re going to do if you can’t get it together. Namjoon will keep the podcast, of course; you’ll be replaced with someone else. Maybe someone less cynical, maybe someone more, but undoubtedly a man. After this mess, you can’t imagine Namjoon would want another female co-host.

But as embarrassed as you are, your traitorous brain keeps thinking about Namjoon.

Thirty-five minutes to think about his glasses and his rolled-up sleeves and the way the denim of his jeans contoured perfectly to his thighs. Thirty-five minutes to think about, “Please let me fuck you,” he begs. Thirty-five minutes to squeeze your thighs together and overanalyze the way he stumbled over his words today; how he could barely make eye contact. Thirty-five minutes to draft a dozen resignation texts and delete them all.

You groan, head thunking against the train window. You’ll take a cold shower as soon as you get home.

That’ll cure you.

You get home and walk Holly so long he gives up halfway through and you have to carry him back to your apartment. You take a cold shower and actually find it pleasant once the initial shock wears off, so it doesn’t work to keep all your rogue Namjoon thoughts at bay. You make a simple dinner and don’t think about Namjoon sitting you on the counter and having his way with you. You tuck yourself into bed far too early and consider going back to therapy, because clearly something very, very bad has happened to your psyche.

Needless to say, nothing cures you.

But it’s a new day, and you’re determined to get your shit together. Yesterday was a fluke, because you’re so normal and so capable of being in the same room as Kim Namjoon.

Except—you’re not.

Jungkook’s there when you arrive, mindlessly scrolling through his phone. Barely looks up at you to say hello, and barely returns it when you do. You double-check the time, because you can count on two fingers the amount of times you’ve shown up and Namjoon wasn’t already there, jotting down extensively-detailed notes, circling and highlighting and chasing down Jungkook to ask questions.

“Where’s Namjoon?”

Jungkook shrugs. “Dunno. Not here.”

You roll your eyes. “Super helpful, thanks.”

Jungkook rolls his eyes right back. “You don’t pay me enough to also be his handler.”

You bite your tongue. Arguing with Jungkook means you’ve already lost the war. Not worth it. But it still eases your worries a bit that he doesn’t know any more than you do. That Namjoon hadn’t only texted him to say why he was running late because he didn’t want to—or couldn’t—talk to you.

So you wait. And you wait and you wait and you wait. Jungkook lets you talk to people on his dating apps and tells you about his new gym routine until your eyes are glazing over. Orders food delivery for the two of you because he gets hungry after an hour and had already eaten what was left of the snacks before you arrived. Cracks a joke that isn’t really a joke about calling the police, because Namjoon still hasn’t shown up and he hasn’t said anything and none of your texts are showing as delivered.

You’re halfway to hour two when the office door bursts open and Namjoon stumbles through, soaked with sweat and stammering over apologies.

“I am so sor—I broke my phone again so my alarm never went off and then I missed my bus? And apparently they’re not running the regular bus schedule today so the next one was a half-hour wait, but then I…”

You don’t catch the rest, because Namjoon is covered in sweat and breathing heavily and a week ago you could’ve survived this. A week ago you would’ve cracked a joke and handed him a towel and told him to get to work. A week ago you would not have been paralyzed in your seat, transfixed on the sweat rolling down the side of his neck.

You are fucked beyond belief.

Jungkook elbows you in the ribs, bringing you back to reality. “...even paying attention?” You startle, face warming in embarrassment. Namjoon still isn’t looking at you. “This is so sad to watch,” Jungkook mumbles, and thankfully it’s only loud enough for you to hear. “Like some stupid shit you only see in nature documentaries.”

Well, you can’t really argue with that, now can you?

But you’re a professional above all, so you hum an acknowledgment and take your regular seat. Pointedly ignore Jungkook. Wait for Namjoon to assume his position as well, and you’re surprised to see the space in front of him empty. No notes. No script. There’s just… nothing.

“Are you okay?” you ask, gesturing to the space in front of him when he seems confused. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen you without a stack of notes in front of you.”

“I forgot them.”

“Don’t think I’ve ever seen you do that, either.”

Your tone is light and airy, not at all accusing or confrontational, but Namjoon’s jaw clenches nonetheless. He scoffs, fires a shitty little, “Were you not paying attention when I was talking about what a horrible fucking morning I’ve had?” at you that makes even Jungkook flinch. A few moments of stunned silence, and then, “Oh fuck, I’m so sorry, that was rude—”

“Yeah, it was,” you agree, and all of a sudden you feel too big for your body. Feel like there are ants beneath your skin, feel like everything is wrong, and you don’t want to be here anymore. “It’s fine. Let’s just—”

Namjoon looks like he wants to argue, but he just sighs and says, “I—yeah, okay.”

This is where Namjoon would usually launch into the intro, a dimpled smile already plastered on his face that’d drop as he discussed another failed first date with that brand of self-deprecation that makes him so endearing. This is where he’d say what have you been up to, Pipe, and you’d try not to groan because how hard could it possibly be to add one more letter, another syllable, but Namjoon seems incapable of it. This is the part that, for three years, has been seamless and easy and instinctual, just two friends having a conversation.

There’s a red light on your microphones that indicates you’re recording. It’s on and it mocks you, because Namjoon is not doing the intro or telling you about a failed date. He doesn’t use that cringey nickname. He doesn’t say anything at all. His mouth opens and shuts and no words come out. What’s worse is that you know exactly why he can’t speak, because you’re thinking about it, too.

“So, uh,” you begin, and Jungkook makes a gagging sound from behind you. “Come here often?”

Namjoon ignores you. “Right, right, the intro…” He sucks in a breath. “Welcome back to another episode of Put Him in the Trash, I’m—”

“Joon—”

“Namjoon, and my co-host here is—”

“Joon, that’s not—”

“Piper. Wait, why are you looking at me like that?”

“That’s not the name of our podcast.”

“Huh?”

“You said Put Him in the Trash.” Namjoon just blinks. “It’s Place Him Gently in the Garbage.”

“Is it? Since when?”

“Since forever?”

He looks at Jungkook, who is hiding behind his hands. “Is she right?”

A beat of silence. “I can’t do this,” he half-shouts, half-whines. “Are you two going to be like this forever? Because if you are, I’m quitting. I’m so serious. I’m gonna quit. I can’t take it anymore. The two of you are insufferable.” Another beat of silence, before Jungkook stands at full height and lords over you and Namjoon. “Forget today. Just go home and try again on Monday. This is so—I’m seriously gonna quit.”

Yoongi comes on Saturday afternoon to pick up Holly.

Yijeong isn’t with him, which is almost disappointing. Now that he’s dating again, you were looking forward to seeing just how awkward it could get with the three of you in the same room, but he looks good. Refreshed. The trip clearly did a world of good for him, and you can’t even bring yourself to crack a joke at his expense.

He, however, has no such hang-ups. “You look like shit.”

“Weird way to say thank you.” You click your tongue and look down at Holly. “Do you see how your father treats me? You should bite him.”

“My son would never. But also, thank you.” He flops onto the sofa. “You do look like shit, though. You wanna talk about it?”

“Not with you, preferably.”

“Oh, gross, is it a dating thing, then?”

“I—no.” You pause. It’s not a dating thing, but you still feel like you’ve got motion sickness whenever you think about it. How would you even begin to explain this to Yoongi, anyway? Someone wrote a porn fic about me and Namjoon. You remember Namjoon, right? Namjoon, that I’ve known and have been friends with since college. Yeah, that Namjoon. Anyway, someone wrote fanfiction about us having sex, and it fucked me up so bad I can no longer be in the same room as him.

No fucking way.

“You look like you’re holding in a fart.”

“You know, I’m getting really sick of you. Did you just come here to insult me?”

He snorts, but his smirk dissipates a few seconds later, a familiar seriousness filling the void. “We’re okay, right? Was the Yijeong thing too soon?”

“No,” you answer immediately, leaning over to flick him on the forehead. “We’re fine, and if you’re happy, then I’m happy for you.” He still looks doubtful. “You want me to start singing ‘I Will Always Love You’ or something? It’s just… weird work stuff.”

“Depends. Are you singing the Dolly Parton or Whitney version? And real work or podcast work?”

“Podcast work, and obviously the Whitney version.”

Yoongi seems surprised by this, eyebrows disappearing beneath his fringe. “Like, the podcast with Namjoon?” He presses his tongue into the fat of his cheek when you nod your head. “Not gonna lie, I didn’t think that was possible.”

“Like I said, it’s weird. It wasn’t, like, an argument or anything.”

“How weird?”

“You’re so fake, Min Yoongi. You act like you’re so distinguished and above drama, but really you’re just as hungry for gossip as the rest of us.”

He shrugs. “I’m not denying it.”

God help you, you’re going to rip off the band-aid. “Someone… Jesus, this is so embarrassing. Someone… wrote? Fanfiction? About us.”

“About you and Namjoon?”

“Yeah.”

“Oh my god—”

“About us… uh. Having sex? Specifically.”

“Oh my god—”

“Jungkook found it and thought it’d be funny if we read it for an episode.”

“Oh my god?”

“So we did? And it was really weird, which I expected, because I’ve known Namjoon for a long time, and I never, ever thought about having sex with him because we were together and me and Namjoon are friends, so yeah, it was fucking weird. But now… I don’t know. I can’t stop thinking about it? And now we can’t even be in the same room as one another.” Yoongi is a concerning shade of red. “So our show is gonna get canceled, because we can only release b-side stuff for so long until people realize something’s up, and it was Namjoon’s podcast to begin with so obviously I’ll get fired—”

“Oh my god, you want to fuck Namjoon.”

Yoongi sounds like a strangled cat when he says this, which does not help the way you feel like you’ve been hit square in the face with a frying pan. “No,” you argue, though it sounds more like a question. You do not want to fuck Namjoon. “No, no. No. It’s just because it was weird.”

“Did you forget I dated you for six years? I know what you look like when you want to fuck someone.”

“You’re telling me you wouldn’t be weird if someone wrote fanfiction about you fucking your friend?”

“Not if I didn’t actually want to fuck them, no.”

“You’re a liar. Get your dog and get out of my apartment.”

Yoongi laughs as he stands. Pats you on the back in the most condescending way you’ve ever had someone pat you on the back. “Let me know how it goes. No need to give me credit for your moment of horny clarity.”

Min Yoongi is a bastard.

Unfortunately, as you come to find out, he’s also a correct bastard.

You want to fuck Namjoon.

Which is… not great, you have to admit, considering he can barely stand to be around you, so you take another cold shower and decide you’re going to take this to your grave. You’re going to spend the rest of the weekend getting your shit together, and you’re going to show up on Monday and be a consummate professional. You’re going to look at Namjoon and say, ha ha, isn’t it so funny someone thought we would have sex? I don’t think about it at all because I am so cool and normal about it.

You’ve got it all planned out. You’re going to show up fifteen minutes early with your own box of pastries. You’re going to look nice, if not a little pretentious—maybe a nice sweater. You’re going to be prepared with notes of your own. You might even be nice to the villain of the week so Namjoon doesn’t have to pinch the bridge of his nose and sigh at you.

And then someone knocks on your door.

You find Namjoon on the other side, and all your plans immediately go to shit.

Has he always been this tall? You can’t remember. You can’t remember a lot of things, including how to speak, because Yoongi had launched you into a crisis of epic proportions and now here’s the source of it, standing right in front of you. With all of his… height. And thighs. And that heady, musky cologne he always wears, that you can still smell now even though there’s an unfortunate amount of distance between you.

“Uh, hi.”

You blink. “Hi,” you parrot, and it’s a little insulting how one single word seems to have sucked up all of your brainpower. “Namjoon,” you tack on, not awkward at all.

“Sorry to just show up,” he says, scratching at the back of his neck. Very bad idea; makes his biceps bulge. You barely swallow your whimper. “It’s just—my phone’s still broken, and it felt bad leaving things how we did? So I was hoping we could talk.”

Talk. Namjoon wants to talk to you. Normally: not a problem. Currently: big problem. You manage a nod, open the door wider to let him in, and you don’t think about how jarring it is to have Namjoon in your space. You don’t think about how your legs feel like jelly all of a sudden, or what it’d be like if Namjoon bent you over the couch, or the kitchen counter, or the—

You cough. “Do you want anything to drink?”

“Oh, sure. Maybe just some water if you have it.”

If you have it. What kind of person doesn’t have water? But you tell him to make himself comfortable and get him some anyway, and you mull too long over the size of the glass. Ultimately decide on a smaller one, because if things get unbearably awkward you can excuse yourself to the kitchen to get more.

“I haven’t been here in a while,” Namjoon says from the living room, and when you look up he’s sorting through a stack of books near the window. Some he’d lent you months ago, notes jotted in the corners, sticky notes in the shape of sea animals on important pages. “You ever wind up reading this?”

The Idiot. Namjoon had raved about it when he was in the midst of his 19th century Russian phase, right after he’d read a bunch of Tolstoy and Pushkin. You shake your head—though, judging from the title, you wonder if someone hadn’t written your biography.

“It’s good. If you have the time, you should definitely give it a shot.”

“Yeah, of course,” you say, handing over his water. You take a seat in an armchair, pull your knees to your chest. Namjoon’s still looking through your books, isn’t looking at you, so it feels safe to say, “You wanted to talk?”

“Yeah.” He moves to sit on the floor, massive thighs spreading until he’s comfortable. Thank god he can’t see the look on your face. “I just wanted to make sure we’re alright. Things have felt pretty weird since we filmed the, uh.” He coughs. “Thing.”

“Right, yeah.” You realize he’s waiting for an answer, and you offer up a very rushed, “We’re fine, Joon.”

“Are you sure?”

Yeah, you’re sure: sure you absolutely cannot be having this conversation in the safety and sanctity of your own home. It’s tainted now, contaminated by all your uncontrolled horny thoughts about the man in front of you. You’ll have to fumigate. Might have to pick up and move, actually, or call an exorcist.

“I’m sure,” you assure him. “The… thing… was weird, but it’s fine. Temporary.”

“Do you think we shouldn’t have done it?”

That’s the million-dollar question, isn’t it? Because, in isolation, reading a porn fic about yourselves wasn’t a big deal. No one got hurt. Everyone who needed to be consulted was consulted. The episode made the two of you a lot of money, and Jungkook even promised to send some of it to the author, so your bases are beyond covered.

So, should you have done it? There wasn’t a good enough reason not to, because the story itself was never the problem.

The problem is staring you right in the face. It’s sitting on your floor, a book cracked in half at the spine and forgotten in his lap. The problem is looking at you like you hold all the answers to the universe’s secrets, and it’s no small thing to be looked at like that. The problem is that Namjoon is looking at you like that from across the room but you’re wondering what it’d look like from on top of you.

The problem is that you’ve co-hosted a podcast with Namjoon for three years, have known him even longer, and you’ve just realized today that you want to have sex with him.

And you can’t say that, can you, because Namjoon came here to fix things which really does not lend itself to a hookup. Namjoon cares about your friendship and your working relationship so much he came here to try and salvage it, so you’re going to keep your mouth shut. You’re going to say, “I think it’s okay that we did,” and leave it at that. Because it is okay.

Because you’re the problem.

It feels like a small victory when Namjoon sags in relief. When he exhales and says, “Okay, good, because I think so, too.”

“It made us a lot of money,” you tack on.

Namjoon’s eyes widen as he laughs. “Right? Like, that was almost too much money. Just to watch us read porn?”

“About ourselves. I think that was the selling point.”

He stands. You do, too. “Never thought I’d be doing that,” he says, returning the book to where it belongs. “Definitely the most embarrassing thing I’ve done for money.”

“Being a man with a podcast wasn’t embarrassing enough?”

He snorts. Gets closer to the door. “Hey now.” You’re going to survive this. “Thanks for entertaining me, by the way. For a second there I was really worried we’d fucked it all up.”

Just the ending. Just one more thing to say and you’ll be done with this, and then you can take your third cold shower in recent memory and triple text Yoongi with a full-fledged mental breakdown. Maybe he’ll bring Holly back and you can register him as your emotional support animal.

And Namjoon must sense the awkwardness that’s crept back in, because he tries to cover it with a joke. Says, “Haaa, like you’d actually piss on me, right?”

Except it sounds like he’s got a mouth full of marbles.

It’s no wonder you mishear him.

Because he says like you’d actually piss on me but you hear like you’d actually kiss me, and there isn’t a universe that exists in which the following makes sense: you, stunned into silence in the doorframe, Namjoon saying his goodbyes, you thinking fuck it, last chance and saying, “Yeah, I’d kiss you.”

Namjoon stops dead in his tracks. “What?”

Your entire body is on fire. “Is, uh. Is that not what you said?”

“I don’t think it matters anymore what I said.”

“I’d argue that it does, for the sake of my digni—”

“You’d kiss me?” Namjoon… doesn’t look put off of the idea, which is surely a point in your favor. Interesting to note that his diction is crystal clear, now. Bastard. “You’d kiss me right now?”

There’s also no explanation for the way you say: “It’s only been an option for ten seconds and you’re already begging for it?”

You’d say there’s no explanation for the way Namjoon’s jaw clenches, the way he repeats I don’t beg for anything, but maybe the simple fact is: the two of you want to fuck each other. And, judging from the way Namjoon crowds your space, keeps dropping his gaze to your mouth, it seems very likely to happen.

All that fixating you’d done on Namjoon’s thighs was wasted, you think, as you take in the shape of his mouth. His lips. The way his tongue darts out to run along the bottom at the last second before he reaches out, tilts your head up, and finally presses his mouth to yours.

And you’ve got to laugh, because no piece of written fiction could ever accurately portray what it feels like. How soft his lips are. The way he touches you—gentle, but still dominant enough to have you moving the way he wants, have you backing up into your apartment so he can smile against your mouth as he closes the door behind him.

No piece of fiction would get it right, the way you’re unsteady on your feet, breathless at the way Namjoon’s kissing you. How he only breaks apart long enough to ask where do you want me in that throaty, deep voice of his. How you’re so overwhelmed you can’t decide: unsure if you want to waste the time it’d take to get to your bedroom, but if it’s only going to happen once, wanting to make it count.

So you decide to risk it. Plant your hands in the middle of his exceptionally broad chest and push him in the direction of the hallway, and if the two of you can’t wait, can’t control yourselves, well.

But the story had gotten one thing right: Namjoon does kiss like a branding iron, hot and greedy. Namjoon kisses you like there’s nothing else he wants to do in this lifetime, and it makes you dizzy. Has you off-kilter, stumbling into the wall as you try to remember where the fuck your bedroom is and why it’s so far. Just like the fictional version of you, you also moan when he licks into your mouth.

“Should I do it the way we did in the fic?” Namjoon asks as the two of you cross the threshold into your bedroom, a cheeky grin on his face. “Do it like this?” he questions, pushing you gently until you’re on the back in the middle of your bed, chest heaving as you lift your head to look at him.

Namjoon is so, so big from where you lay, just hovering at the foot of your bed. Cheeks ruddy, bulge prominent. “What’d you say you wanted?”

Takes a second to remember how to breathe, let alone what you’d read. What do you want, Namjoon had asked, right before he’d sank to his knees in front of you. “Whatever you’re willing to give,” you answer.

Namjoon smiles. Puts one knee on the bed, and the way it dips beneath his weight is unsettling. Why does he have to be so fucking large. “That’s right, baby.” Christ, you think, because there’s another thing that fic had gotten right. No one on earth would be immune to Namjoon calling them baby in that tone of voice.

The riposte biting at the back of your teeth gets swallowed whole as Namjoon grabs your ankles and drags you to the edge of the bed. “May I?” he asks, hands poised above the waistline of your leggings. You nod, and Namjoon drags down your underwear with them. “Fuck, look at you,” he groans, awe creeping into the edge of his words.

“You want me to do it the same way? Hm? You’re being awfully quiet; thought you were giving me shit about being the one in charge,” he chides.

Because you’re short-circuiting. Namjoon’s on his knees, just like you’d envisioned, and his mouth is dangerously close to your cunt. How can you be expected to think and speak under these conditions? But if Namjoon can find the brainpower to be a bastard, so can you, because what you’d read and the way he’d reacted can both never be forgotten. So you thread your hands into his hair and pull. The resulting moan is enough to sustain you for years.

“Are you gonna keep running your mouth, or are you gonna make me come on it?”

He blinks. “Jesus Christ.”

There’s precedent. Fictional Namjoon ate you out like a man starved, like he couldn’t get enough. Had fictional you writhing and insatiable, so it’s a lot to live up to, but it doesn’t deter him in the slightest. He hesitates for only a second, giving you one last chance to back out before the two of you set every last boundary on fire, and then he’s settling between your thighs and making you see stars.

Now you know what it’s like. Now you don’t have to rely on fiction, and it doesn’t matter because it’d never compare to the way Namjoon feels as he works to bring you to your ruin. The way he flattens his tongue to lick long, thick stripes; the way his lips suction around your clit. The way it feels when he groans against your core. The way he says, “Fuck, you do taste good,” like that’s a completely normal thing to say. Like he doesn’t know exactly what he’s doing to you.

But you need more and Namjoon knows it. His mouth doesn’t leave your cunt for a second, but his fingers find your mouth, so you put on a show. Wrap your lips around them, suck on them the way he’s doing to you, make sure they’re slick. Namjoon groans again, doubles his efforts. Slides one thick finger inside of you and barely lets you adjust before he’s adding a second.

In an embarrassingly short amount of time, Namjoon has you unraveling. Presses incessantly on a spot that has your vision whiting out. Has you trembling, a little panicked as you say, “Joon, fuck—Namjoon, wait—” as it builds and builds and builds.

You might black out for a second, because you come to and Namjoon looks… stunned. He looks like he can’t believe any of what just happened, and you blink a few times, try to come back into your body, and when you regain enough consciousness, you’re extremely aware of the large wet patch beneath you.

“Um—”

“Holy shit.”

“Namjoon, that’s not—that’s embarrassing—can you grab a—”

He shuts you up with a kiss. Presses the taste of you into your skin, and all those silly protests die in your throat, because if Namjoon was needy before, he’s desperate now. Covers your body with his own, hips dipping down low enough to press his erection into the juncture of your thigh, and the weight of him is delicious. Has you fisting the fabric of his t-shirt to pull him closer, has you pulling it over his head, his pants following. Has your hands skimming down every thick part of his body until you reach his cock, hard and aching and slick with pre-cum.

“I need to suck you off later,” you say, done with overthinking. Time to just be honest, and Kim Namjoon has a dick you need to feel down your throat. “Remind me.”

He whines, thrusts into your hand a little harder. “How could I forget that?”

“Don’t know. Didn’t know if this would be the only time,” you answer. “Did you bring a condom?” Namjoon nods, fetches one from his wallet and rolls it on.

He hovers above you again. Looks nervous, all of a sudden, like he can’t tell his lefts from his rights. All out of sorts. You’re about to tell him it’s fine, you don’t have to do anything he doesn’t want to, don’t have to do anything at all, when he says, “It doesn’t have to be.” You just stare. “The only time.”

There’s a conversation to be had. You know that. Both of you clearly have feelings you need to talk about and sort out, but you reckon they can wait. They’ll still be there in the afterglow, in the morning. So you nod, say okay, Joon, and kiss away the insecurities that still linger.

You think about the fic. Think maybe Namjoon would appreciate it if you cracked a stupid joke, just like he’d tried to do earlier. “Has anyone ever called your cock stupid?”

He laughs, breath fanning against your skin. “No. Wanna try it and see what happens?”

Might as well. You try to remember the exaggerated tone of voice you’d used. Repeat the line—“Do you even know what to do with that big, stupid cock?”—and wait.

There’s a beat of silence, and then—

Namjoon swallows thickly. “I, um. Unfortunately, I think that really works for me.” You laugh. Pull him closer. Wrap your legs around his waist as he starts to move against you. Has jokes of his own. “Please. Please let me fuck you.”

You roll your eyes, laugh tapering into a giggle. “Do you know how?” Namjoon nods, looking all too much like a puppy eager to please its owner. “Do you promise?” He nods again. “Okay. Okay, come here.”

You expect him to move fast; expect the first time to be frenzied and a little awkward. It isn’t. Namjoon lines himself up and pushes the smallest bit inside, and then he’s leaning down to kiss you. Threads your fingers together, squeezes your hand. Pushes further inside and mumbles praise just beneath your ear.

It’s dizzying, the amount of care Namjoon handles you with. How soft he is. Does nothing to ease the discomfort of the stretch, the overwhelming fullness, but he talks you through it. Tells you how good you feel, how beautiful you look. Spills a lot of words you’d probably be embarrassed to hear and he’d be embarrassed to say if this was any other time, but in the heat of the moment it all just works to unravel you faster.

He bottoms out. “Okay?” he asks, and you’re rewarded with a dimpled smile when you say you are. Namjoon is a devastating kind of beautiful.

But, as he gives you time to adjust and you give him the all-clear, he also fucks like a demon. What once was hand-holding is now your wrists pinned to the bed, your body caged beneath him as he rolls his hips at a pace that has your eyes rolling back into your head. You’ve been deceived. Lured into a false sense of security.

It’s almost a shame this isn’t being recorded, because you want to memorize all the sounds Namjoon’s making. Want to hear them for the rest of your life. Don’t want anyone else to be the reason he sounds like this, and as he ups his pace and presses his lips to your neck, you don’t want to sound like this because of anyone else, either.

Maybe one of those times in the future, you can talk him into it.

Namjoon reaches down, rubs circles into your clit. Every time you think you might be close, he pulls his hand away, smiles like the devil. You let him have his fun for a while, let him think you’re keen to lie back and take it, and then you tighten your legs around his waist and flip him onto his back.

He doesn’t think it’s very funny. Looks up at you all bewildered. “What’re you—”

“You were taking too long,” you snark. “Figured I’d take matters into my own hands.”

“Yeah? Shit,” he says as you begin to move. “Fuck, baby, like that. Ride me just like that.”

You do. Don’t change a thing, because Namjoon’s cock is long and thick enough to hit exactly where you need it to. You can feel yourself clenching, feel yourself getting wetter, and the sight of Namjoon beneath you does nothing to stave off the inevitable. He looks even better than you’d imagined: skin flushed, eyes squeezed shut, head thrown back, sweat-slick. You want to make him cry. Want to give him the entire world. You will.

Namjoon thrusts at the same time you roll your hips, and that’s what does it. Has you crying out, has stars flashing behind your eyelids. Has you saying fuck, fuck, fuck as he drives you over the edge for the second time. Has you on the brink of oversensitive as he thrusts a few more times to chase his own end, almost delirious at the way Namjoon moans as he spills into the condom.

Has you swooning, just a bit, at the dopey way Namjoon smiles at you, eyes half-lidded and crinkled at the corners.

“Was that okay?”

You snort. “Yeah, I’d say it was decent.”

“Maybe next time you could pee on me,” he jokes.

You whack him on the chest. “Sure. Or we could record it.”

Has you a little shocked at the way his cock twitches inside of you at the mention of it.

On Monday, you don’t wear a pretentious sweater.

When you stroll in, Jungkook’s already got the best donut shoved halfway into his mouth because he’s a shithead. He eyes you warily, probably hoping with all his hope that you spent the weekend finding God and getting your shit together.

And then he realizes you’ve got on Namjoon’s hoodie and he nearly chokes to death.

“What the fuck are you wearing—”

Namjoon appears at that very moment, and it’s so hard not to take credit for the way he’s glowing, the dazed smile on his face. But Jungkook notices, because Jungkook notices everything, and his gaze darts between the two of you: your hoodie, Namjoon’s face, your face. He opens his mouth, something inappropriate bound to spill out, but Namjoon beats him to the punch. “Ready?” he asks you, and you nod.

It’s seamless.

No hiccups, no awkward stuttering. Namjoon gets through the intro without a hitch, and it feels exactly like it used to. Just two friends having a conversation. It’s obvious Jungkook still wants to say something, but after suffering through last week, he stays quiet lest he makes it worse and sends the two of you back to the bad place.

“How was your weekend, Pipe? Do anything fun?” Namjoon rolls his lips, tries not to laugh.

So you play along. “No, not really, just some dog sitting. How about you?”

“Oh, you know me. Had another first date on Saturday.”

“Did you? How’d it go?”

“Perfect.”

It’s a blessing Jungkook isn’t filming this, because your eyebrows raise so far they nearly disappear from your face altogether. There isn’t even a hint of hesitation in Namjoon’s voice, and although you would’ve described it the same way, hearing him say it with such conviction has you a little stunned. “Wow. You gonna see her again?”

“Yeah,” Namjoon says, sharing a private smile with you. “I think I am.”

who the FUCK is namjoon dating Posted by u/pod-shipper 7 minutes ago This has honestly ruined my entire day. I thought all the stories he told about dating were a bit… Like, what kind of guy has a podcast about relationships but can’t seem to be in one? But you could just HEAR it in his voice how much he likes this woman he went on a date with over the weekend and I’m sick to my stomach. (+2195) ↳ bro you and me both 😭 i genuinely thought him and piper had something going on fr (+1302) ↳ Seriously might stop listening because of this! Any woman with self-respect would never let their partner host a podcast with someone they’re obviously in love with. If he gets serious with this woman, Piper will be gone within 6 months, mark my words. (+927) ↳ I wouldn’t worry about it too much! My cousin works at a really nice restaurant in the same city Namjoon lives in, and she said she saw this “date” on Saturday and that it wasn’t anything serious. (+788) ↳ Piper got a cat and Namjoon finally got a second date. Face it, it’s over. (+325) ↳ cannot believe him and piper aren’t dating.. do you think i should delete all my tiktok edits? (+4) ↳ this is unhinged lmfao i thought y’all hated piper? you’re in here bitching abt her being a “misandrist” every week and now ur gonna stop listening bc namjoon isn’t dating her? pick a lane and stay in it (-64)

Thank you so much for reading! I'd love to hear your thoughts, and reblogs/shares are always welcome! I appreciate you very much~ ♡

[black-lake]

astro observations 12

heyy here are some of the things i found out lately while i was wasting time

——

🎠 An aries moon and capricorn sun man, I always find this mix intriguing. Can give off the vibes of a character straight out of a webtoon, or a fuck boy that’s just visibly toxic. Either way I find them so incredibly magnetic. They possess strong fiery auras and usually have a rebellious streak to them. If they act out of their shadows they can be arrogant, insensitive, disloyal and only chase after the physical. 

🎠 Initially I wondered why eminem doesn’t give me libra sun vibes at all, then I looked a bit deeper into his chart and realized that he’s just textbook uranian, he even looks like an alien and acts like one at times. He got sun conjunct uranus, aquarius moon, mars conjunct uranus, and uranus square nn. He was born to be a rebel. 

🎠 He’s one of greatest rappers to exist and it’s worthy to mention some of the aspects that indicate his unique talent for rapping. First of all mars conj uranus is known to give unique talents, so that’s that. In this case sun and mars conj uranus granting him a natural rhythm, quick thinking, and unique expression. But the supersonic speed doesn’t come just from that. What’s interesting is that his ability to be a fast rapper and master lyricist is amplified by pluto also being in libra, conjunct his mars and pallas, fueling him with anger, intensifying his capabilities with determination, and heightened mental control and intelligence. Saturn is also in an air sign (gemini), indicating speed and intelligence. This gives rise to a grand air trine, linking his powerful stellium of sun, mars, uranus, pluto, and pallas in libra, his moon in aquarius, and saturn in gemini. The stars really aligned there making him the rap god huh.

🎠 If you know eminem's story you'd know that he had a tough upbringing. From a difficult mother and absent father to being an outcast bouncing between schools and sketchy neighbourhoods, the only white kid in a black community, being bullied by gangs, and even beaten up till he drifted out of consciousness, then dropped out of school. Makes me think it's why he keeps his bodyguards with him all the time! He was left with nothing and a daughter to provide for, encountered racial prejudice in rap contests for being white, despite these obstacles, he rose to become the best-selling hip-hop artist and earned recognition from rappers as one of the greatest of all time. Leads me to the next obs.

🎠 Heavy uranus/aquarius or 11°, 23° can easily become misfits without trying to. They’re constantly put in new environments, places where they’re the only ones of their kind, like a white kid in a black community, a foreign in a mostly local area, the new kid in school. There’s always ‘something different about them’ that people pick up on even if it was as early as elementary school. Which may get them outcasted or bullied. Their experiences at times lead them to hate school and drop out. 

🎠 People with these placements have something special to offer the world. It may seem like obstacles are constantly put in their way without them doing anything, but it’s their path unfolding. So they can wake up from their conditioned states and break from the status quo. The more that happens the more they realize who they are. 

🎠 Here’s why I think those that got capricorn north node can be the best fathers or the child’s favorite parent. It’s part of their destiny to be a caregiver and a good example for their children and they have the biggest hearts when it comes to caring for them and protecting them. They desire to give their child what they themselves may have lacked in their youth and shield them from the pain they experienced. Their child is their inspiration and reason to keep going in a way.

🎠 The biggest two examples I can give, Eminem singing mockingbird (one of my favs) for his daughter Hailie. He often mentions her in award shows, and did a whole diss track (killshot), in 13 minutes btw lmao, just because MGK made a tweet about his daughter. The other example is Travis Scott singing goosebumps for his daughter Stormi on stage and bringing her to his concerts. She has always said that her fav parent is her dad. Anyway, don’t mess with these ppl’s kids they’ll go after you to the end of the world. 

🎠 Men with mercury conjunct saturn have deeper voices, speak slowly and eloquently like they’re a 50 year old even if they’re 25. They are very grounded, have a methodical way of thinking and are wise beyond their years. Also masters at dodging questions.

🎠 I’ve seen it a lot and experienced it myself having an aries stellium. Women with a lot of aries or mars placements can often feel like they’re more cute, youthful and sexy in a cool way rather than the typical feminine way. They often have toned bodies, smaller chests and a lot of masculine qualities that trying to appear too feminine can feel fake to them. 

🎠 People with north node in capricorn can feel like they've been robbed of the success they deserve. It's giving the vibe of a musician that has worked so damn hard on their album and received public success but no official awards, then released another album and did it again and again and still haven’t gotten a grammy. I mean grammys are scams but ykwim. Along the lessons of success and accomplishment, there's also a profound lesson in patience and self-validation, a focus on recognizing one's worth from within rather than seeking external validation.

🎠 I noticed that aries, gemini, aquarius and capricorn placements or heavy mars, mercury, uranus and saturn can prefer skirts over dresses or just wear pants all the time.

🎠 Those with uranus-neptune in pisces really brought back the love for anime, manga, webtoons, cosplay, colourful cute aesthetics, dreamcore, surrealist aesthetics and art. They just got a dreamland vibe to them and it’s quite fascinating to see.

🎠 I have north node in leo and I'm starting to look like my 5 year old self, no joke, connecting to your inner child can do that. Looking at my childhood photos stirs up emotions within me. I often find myself reminiscing and yearning for that carefree time when I was simply myself, devoid of societal pressures. Plus, I can't help but notice after fixing my fucked up teeth I got my child smile back. I feel like I'm in a journey of rediscovery as I start to recognize that childlike spirit within me once again.

🎠 Those with sagittarius, libra, taurus, gemini, leo and aries placements have the most beautiful smiles omg, like it does something to your heart. Please keep smiling it really brightens up this world. I mean I can fit all the signs here I just love when others smile. 🥺

🎠 Mercury opposite pluto, these native can say exactly what would get them mocked or bullied. They keep starting the wrong fights for the wrong reasons. They could get triggered of people who communicate better than them. Their lesson lies in improving their communication skills, cultivating tactfulness and diplomacy, and learning to reclaim their power in a psychological manner rather than resorting to mindless verbal confrontations.

🎠 Mars conj/opp pluto can at times experience violence early on, in school or their neighborhood. They experience a lot of obstacles constantly, inner and outer pressures that they may feel like giving up. These challenges ultimately instill within them greater resilience and determination to pursue their goals. Many martial artists and athletes have this aspect, seeking an outlet to channel the intense anger they experience.

🎠 People with aries north node really go from one battle to another without a break. Leaving behind their need to compromise and avoid confrontations can be challenging but is the very thing that brings those battles. Eventually they will find themselves needing to defend themselves alone with no support, fighting back relentlessly no matter what and stop compromising to keep the peace. They will gain this sense of self assurance and bravery to face anything in life.

🎠 I know someone with a lot of saturn oppositions, aquarius sun and stellium opposite saturn, capricorn moon and aries nn. This person has always been underestimated by their parents and always felt like an outsider. They had controlling parents that imposed so many restrictions on them. They also were targeted in school for having a funny and likable personality. Being their aquarius mc and aries mercury bestie I saw their potential and encouraged them to fight back even if it meant making a scene. They eventually built up the courage to stand up for themselves no matter how alone they are. But they also have this wisdom to know when to pick their battles and when to ignore things and let them go, which I look up to.

🎠 People with a lot of chiron conjunctions or oppositions have a heart of gold. Real angels on earth that have been through it. They have so much compassion and understanding for others because they’ve been hurt in many ways. They know what it feels like to be wounded by life and have tremendous amounts of empathy for that. They have sensitive souls and their presence alone can make others feel seen and heard. I appreciate these people a lot, like thank u for existing. 

[sl0t4matt]

could you do a fic w hector fort where him and the reader get a matching tattoo please? like something little or whatever you want hehe

h. fort | girl with the tattoo

thank you sm for requesting, i love this request! i only know very few things from friends abt tattoos so i hope i got everything right.

“hi baby how was training?” you ask hector as he slumps down the couch next to you, immediately snuggling up on you.

“it was fine. i would’ve rather stayed with you though.” he admits, laying his head on top of your lap.

you move your hands to his curls playing with them. you absolutely loved playing with his hair, since it was always perfectly curled and done. “don’t let xavi hear that.” you chuckle.

he starts grinning a little too suspicious.

“oh god, what have you done again you idiot.” with that look he must’ve done something, you thought. he smirks. “what do you mean?”

“do not play with me right now, hector. tell me!” you roll your eyes at his annoyingness.

“you know i love when you’re demanding, ma.” he winks liking his lips. you stand up not being able to deal with him right now. he knows exactly how impatient you are. he just loves pushing your buttons.

he won’t tell you. fine! he takes ahold of your wrist, immediately pulling you back.

“okay, okay i’ll tell you.” you sigh sitting back down. he smiles. “hector i swear-.”

“chill, i’m sure you’re gonna like it.” he interrupts you quickly. you furrow at him. what the hell could he mean? “okay so i got an appointment at the tattoo studio.”

“nice. what are you gonna get?” he smirks. “you mean what are we gonna get.”

“what?!” you’ve always wanted to get a tattoo but because of your school schedule you never got to doing it . you honestly also kept forgetting tbh but obviously hector didn’t.

“well i wanted to get your eyes tatted because you know how much i love them, but then i thought ‘oh y/n always wanted to get a tattoo’ so i thought why not just take you with me and we’ll get a matching one.” this boy is something else.

you grin so hard, it hurts. hector has always been affectionate moments like these remind you how much he truly is your soulmate. you jump on top of him shooting him with kisses. “i literally love you, you know that right.” he nods, laughing. “i love you too.”

“when is the appointment?” you ask. “7pm.” he shrugs. “are you serious! i don’t even know what we’re gonna get!!” you sigh, shaking your head at how your boyfriend can be so slow at times.

“we’ll get angel numbers of course. you’re a big astro girl.” hector says, referring to the time you first met him. (your first question being what his star sign is.) “wait, that’s actually a good idea.” he smiles smugly. “i know.”

…

“is it gonna hurt?” you ask hector as you enter the studio. “you don’t want me to be honest, ma.” you sigh. hector takes your hand. “i’ll go first if you want.” he says. you nod. you never had a big fear of needles. you yourself having a belly button piercing but a tattoo is different the pain is there for a while whereas when you get pierced it’s more like a poke.

you get in walking to the woman behind the counter.

“hi, we got an appointment for 7pm.” i smile at her. “of course. come with me.” she smiles back, bringing the both of you to the guy that does hector’s tattoos.

a bigger man with a beard greets us which you assume is the tattoo artist. he doesn’t quiet look scary though rather like a big teddy bear with lots of tattoos.

“the girl who’s eyes you’re getting tatted on?” he grins at hector. “yeah.” he smiles turning to look at you. hector isn’t very social with people he isn’t extremely close with, so he tries to keep his conversation as short as possible. you think it’s quiet ironic since you never seem to shut up, no matter who you’re talking to. they say opposites attract though!

he pulls out a picture handing it to him. the man nods, giving you a quick smile then takes his stuff out.

you follow hector as he sits down on a chair, extending his arm. he shows the guy where he wants it and how big it should be. the man doesn’t waste time and directly goes on tattooing him.

you sit beside him, squeezing his other hand, you being more scared of the pain he must be going through than hector himself is.

“you’re fine.” you stroke his hand, looking at him seriously concerned. “stop it you’re gonna make me laugh.” he mumbles. he’s so unserious.

it must not bother him much since he grimaces and curses on a few spots but keeps cool most of the time.

after him also getting the angel number tatto that is supposed to match with you, it’s finally your turn.

you’re pretty sure you’re gonna piss your pants as you wait in the room alone with hector because you’re so nervous. you don’t know how you’re gonna live to see see the next day after this. “you’ll be fine. it’s bad at first but you’ll get used to it. also i’m here for you, ma.” he tries cheering you up. “fucking hell.” you mutter. you’re probably going to experience the worst pain in your life here.

“are you ready?” the guy asks. with nodding your head, you go to sit on the same place hector sat when he got the tattoo.

you grip hector’s hand tightly, breaking it almost.

hector kisses the side of your face, whispering sweet words in your ear, trying to distract you from the needle that currently goes in and out of you.

“fuck.” you mutter through gritted teeth. “you’re doing so good, baby.” hector whispers. you bite your lip so hard you start tasting blood. “you wanna take a break?” the tattooer you now know as chris says. you shake your head, wanting it to end as soon as possible.

hector hates to see you like this: in pain. he hopes for it to end as soon as possible, the only thing he’s been wanting to do while you got tattooed being showering you with loving kisses, but he didn’t for the sake of chris since he’s sure he wouldn’t want to see a whole teen kissing session.

“it hurts so bad, hector.” you cry out. he moves stands of hair out of your face then cupping your face gently. “i know, baby but you got this.” he nods. the thing is you weren’t even being dramatic for once. this had the be the most hurting feeling you’ve ever experienced.

“we’re done!” chris pats your arm after he was done. your eyes meet with hectors, smiling lightly. you definitely knew you’re going to thank him at home for how he was there for you in this entire process.

[midheavenastrology]

🎉🧁Super rando 🎉🧁Astro Observations 🎉🧁

🍥I do not recommend dating someone who has ur chiron sign- in one way or another they will hurt you unconsciously and trigger you 😔😔😭😓🫣of course this is good in a way because all trauma is meant to be healed ❤️‍🩹🩺🩻but you have to be with someone who is conscious of the hurt they are causing. The chiron person is only really meant to surface these hurts not heal them. Think about it: ur chiron sign is literally embodying the wound that u have so to date that sign is like dating a walking red flag 🚩

🍥People with prominent Jupiter aspects to their ascendant, sun, midheaven will naturally just emit light ! ✨🌞🌻 u shine ! U so sparkle ! Jupiter expands anything it touches, so imagine having sun 🌞 aspecting Jupiter: big energy, big beam of light !!! They also have the loudest, biggest laughs lmao- this is me and everyone always tells me they love how much I laugh at everything/have the biggest guffaw- sound like a dang donkey🐴 sometimes srry not srry 🥲🥲🥲

🍥Someone with a lot of mutable placements absolutely needs fixed energy to ground and stabilize them 😇🥺when it comes to synastry. Especially when it comes to moon sign compatibility. Mutable moons are legit the most moody 🌝😩🌚Cardinal can work too but sometimes feelings will burn out quickly 🐒🔥🌪️💦

🍥However with that said: have y’all ever dated ur opposite moon sign ??? Because that sh*ts fire 🔥

🍥Be careful who you meet romantically during mars or Venus retrograde ⏪⏮️these are past lovers that come back to try sumthin, sumthin out again. Like I went on a dating app 🤪during mars ☄️retrograde and had a super casual fling that burned out super quickly💥💥💥but not with some big lessons. The seggs will be ahmazing because youve fucked around before lol 🍌✨ are the lessons worth it tho, who knos 🥲

🍥Libra and Taurus placements will always be attractive ! trust ! Venus blesses them in some way or another 🌸💅🧖‍♀️ pretty privilege y’all ✨Scorpio and Aries placements will always be sessy, trust ! mars gives them sexy privilege 🍌🍆🌶️ if u got both in ur big three, boy r u trouble 😈

🍥I read somewhere that when you’re embodying your true soul essence you take on ur vedic/sidereal placements: literally have been feelin my triple fire 🔥 placement in vedic ! 😬🌶️🔥

🍥Neptune+mercury placements ….you literally manifest when you speak so be careful what u wish for 🫶 it’s because Neptune: higher spiritual plane, angels 👼, ancestors and then mercury: communication: u are literally speaking to angels mmkay 🥲✨🫶

🍥If you lack fire 🔥 in ur chart, u tend to run V cold 🥶 like ur probs the friend who has cold hands and feet constantly ! Me 🙋‍♀️

🍥Too much mercury in ur chart or air placements can make u constantly in ur head: like u can’t detach ur mind from ur body and soul. It’s gonna be hard 4 u to meditate 🧘‍♀️ tbh. I recommend breath work 4 y’all, so u can get more in tune with ur body/or working out, running, moving ur body 🕺💃🏃‍♀️🏋️‍♀️🤹‍♀️

🍥biggest flirt placements of the zodiac goes to Aries, Gemini, Libra and Sagittarius- if u have all four shidddd…I hope ur significant other is ok 🥲 honorable mention: Pisces (but it’s cus we fall in love like 5 times a day…doesn’t mean we actually know how to flirt tho..we’re just sweet lovers by nature) Aries, Gemini, libra and Sag are the ultimate smooth talkers of the zodiac 🥵

🍥biggest non flirts of the zodiac goes to Capricorn, Virgo, Scorpio, Taurus. Ur flirting style is basically being mean, uninterested or cold. Earth+ Scorpio is very self contained, they like to keep it together and flirting feels stupid and petty. When in a mood, they don’t want to talk to anyone unless there’s a reason for it..like what do u want ? Tell me what u want, set a date and make a plan. Also lez be real: their main love is cash money 🤑

That’s all y’all 🍭🎨🤹‍♀️🤹‍♀️🤹‍♀️🤹‍♀️💅💅💅💅💅☎️☎️☎️☎️☎️☎️🧋🧋🧋🧋🧋🌞🌞🌞🌞🌞🌞

Hope y’all have a magical day 🫶🫶🫶🫶🫶

Thanks for reading+scoping !! 🥰

[ravenstargames]

✦ Lost in Limbo Devlog #9 | 02.29.24

What is this?! Two devlogs in one month?! More likely than you think! This February has been very productive for me and the team, so let's dive right into it!

Ooooh boy, Raquel keeps knocking it out of the park! She managed to get done every expression for every LI, and I coded them all! Now we have our wonderful characters ready for their debut. We have been using the wonderful Image Tools for Ren'py made by the talented and hard-working Feniks, whose tutorials and resources save a lot of dev's lives every day! This tool has made everything a bit easier for newbies like me, hehe.

Here's a taste of our edgelord's expressions! 💜 They're kind of a cutie when they put some effort into it!

We also had our second valentine's day celebration art piece thanks to Kayden! Sadly with the reworked version of the demo, you won't meet Vycar yet, so we thought we could ask for his forgiveness by giving him a beautiful bouquet and reminding him how much of a sweetheart he is! 💜

Also, Raeya got a hair update!

So, we weren't completely satisfied with the way we portrayed Raeya's hair, so this has been a rework we were sure we wanted to make. At first we were just going to render it again, but we ended up working on it from scratch to better represent what we envisioned for her. We hope you like it as much as we do! ; v ;💜

As always, we are open to any critique or advice; we are white people who have the luck to be able to ask POC friends for their advice as we work, but the more the merrier! Don't hesitate to send us your opinion to our ask box or even our email, gamesravenstar@gmail.com!

When it comes to the background department, we have been making great progress thanks to Airyn, who is honestly leaving us with our mouths hanging open every time! Thanks to her, another background has been finished and another one is in the making, leaving only two backgrounds to be revised and approved!

I personally can't stop looking at this WIP! She understood perfectly what we wanted to portray just by looking at an old WIP we had, and this is what we have so far—and it's already amazing!

Allie has been OBLITERATING the script. As of today, I think we have almost gone through everything that needed to be corrected and discussing, and lord if the script doesn't look a 100% better after we put it in Allie's hands. The way she writes, the way she understands everything I want to say even when sometimes I don't even know myself—what a talented, inspiring and amazing writer they are. I know I may sound annoying at this point singing her praises endlessly, but if the script is in the state where it is now, it's thanks to her!

My programming adventure of the month has been a success, if I say so myself! I've coded the characters with aaaaall their layers, their expressions, the blinking animations, made some videos, and started coding the script. Step by step as they say; I've coded 18 pages, and there's, uh...142 more to go. Haha! *sobs*

BUT WE ARE GETTING THERE! We can see the light at the end of the tunnel! I can finally click 'new game' and read the script and see the stuff going on! YAY!

Some extras of the month—we are preparing a Casting Call to choose the voice acting talent that will hopefully give voice to our characters. The demo won't be fully voiced (it's impossible with the funds we have, which are...zero), but if we are lucky we'll use some of our personal savings to pay for at least a few lines for each character so you can get an idea of how they'll sound if we get funded! Raquel is preparing an art piece for the announcement, and I'm getting the document ready and asking fellow VA friends for advice :3.

Also, we have a new member here at Ravenstar Games! Some weeks ago Astro and I formally adopted our first kitty, 8 month old Riki, fulfilling one of our dreams. We got him from a feline association that works with volunteers and fosters cats who have been abandoned, cats they find on the street, and so on. Riki has been living with me since January, and he's a happy, long big boy who loves playing, cuddles, and sitting on my desk while I try to work!

Say hi to the Ravenstar family, Riki! 💜

A productive month full of accomplished milestones, excitement and new challenges! The team has worked so hard, and I've done my part too! We still don't want to get ahead of ourselves, but we have done a lot of stuff we were sure we wouldn't finish yet, and look at that! We are doing so well!

As you can probably tell, my batteries are starting to run low, so I'm going to leave this devlog here. Thank you all like always for cheering us on, for being here in this journey with us, and for all the love you send our way. Let's hope March is as amazing as February has been, for us and for all of you! 💜

[melancholicstation]

Do wanna run marathons in Long Beach by the sea? — a john f. kennedy jr one-shot

taglist: @obsessedwithjohnjr @vanillqcoke @rocker-chick-7 @ultr4v1ol3nt @violetharmonsfavgf @strip-weather-forecast @darcyspirits @fortheloveofjos @h-l-v-kennedy-blog @h-l-vlovesvintage @bluelancergirl @snowsgames @salvatoresablondie @dulcegal @kennedyism @bloxholden35 @kimcrystal123 @astro-vibes-bro @absurdlyvintage @jackiesgirl

SUMMARY: After a round of bad luck after bad luck with guys, Bobby, who has come to be a father figure of yours concocts a plan to set you up with his Bachelor of a nephew: John F. Kennedy junior, only neither of you quite know it yet.

AUTHOR’S NOTE: in this au bobby is still alive and works at the innocence project post his presidency. for a while it truly stumped me on what a man like him would've done if he lasted through 2 terms of a presidency and had to get a new job 🫠 also what should we name this reader!?

warnings: nothing just cute flirting, mean-ish jfk jr, use of the word bitch, kissing, bon*r but nothing beyond that, face touching

words: 1,759

Upper East Side, NY. 1995

Your conscious mind is rudely pulled back into reality from it's own sleep-induced bliss-state as you hear sounds akin to that of a racoon rummaging inside an opened trash chute.

As your eyes adjust to the change you start to get a feel for your surroundings. Nothing similar to a trash can—no quite the opposite. Instead of a grimy green, slick covered dross habit you had found yourself in a place you'd come to know as familiar: miss bouvier's new york townhome, or as you'd come to call her: Jackie.

You recognise yourself to be in her living room fit with a vast bookshelf, a safe haven for her over the decades you'd presume. Shrouded and protected by the novels and their winding tales—as if the paper thin pages were her coat of arms.

After your eyes had adjusted to the light, your whole body slowly seems to return to itself as your sensory receptors pick up the velveteen settee: in a swirling pattern of pink against a midnight black background.

Behind you sat a bookshelf wall to wall with books, so packed in fact that a ladder sufficed to be put in to explore the contents sufficiently. Glancing up the first book you lay your eyes upon is Works of Aeschylus. Instantaneously you are transported to how you got here in the first place—

*flashback to three hours ago*

You're regretting about all the romantic decisions that led you up to this point: crying the lobby of a Manhattan high-rise, embarrassing the hell out of yourself. Even in front of all the guys who looked like they were playing parodies of themselves on SNL. Despite not being blood Bobby was always the one you'd call when the going gets tough.

So that's how you got here: clad in nothing but an old heather-grey knit romper that you'd "stolen" from your recreational sport team in college and a pair of joggers with embroidered golfing patches—you knew they were less than fashionably conscious but damn! were they fucking comfortable.

Unsurprisingly you see Bobby bounding out the elevator, just on time, making his way over to you, encasing you in a fatherly hug before you can even mutter out a conversationally polite greeting of "hello" or "hi".

He doesn't say much, he never really does when you get in this state over a boy. To be quite frank he's fed up—no not at you, never at you: but at those douchebag boys who could never to measure up in any measure of a man. He knew he, or his brother's for that matter, weren't exactly angels in the fidelity department but they'd never have had the gall to run games like these boys have played on you.

And to top it off he'd just got off from a phone call from John last night saying that he wouldn't come to thanksgiving—too worried that the family will tease him for not bringing a girl home 4 years in a row.

While you silently cry in the taxi on the way home—well not to your home or bobby's instead to Jackie's home in manhattan: according to Bobby he'd been cat-sitting for Jackie while she sailed through St-Tropez for the weekend so that's where you two would be headed.

In between your crying and unbeknownst to you, Bobby concocted a plan to kill two birds with one stone...

Mysteriously informing you he'd ride with you to the townhouse and ride all the way back to his office, apparently he'd forgotten to some important papers to leave at Jackie's in his office. Assuring you that he'd be back before you knew it.

*end of flashback*

Your disturbed once more by the sound you presumed had woken you up in the first place and are met with a disturbing sight John no less than 5 five metres away from your splayed out frame: crouching over a filing cabinet aptly disguised as a chest of drawers.

You'd never really got along with John, not with his smug nature and ability to deflect questions with ease that he didn't feel bothered to pay attention to. Truthfully it was like a dance of tango even trying to engage in a conversation with him: so you never really tried. Bobby had always tried to ingrain you into Kennedy family traditions: knowing your rocky relationship with your own family. So you would talk to John in passing but never for too long: though it was long enough for you two to start a Cold War of passive aggressive passes of mash potatoes every holiday season.

Now to any other women aged 25-40 in America this sight would be a dream come true what with John clad in a simple button down shirt, and loosely tied linen slacks: none drawing attention away from his sharp jaw and frustratingly kissable lips, resembling the shade of a rabbit's tongue.

"Oh so sleeping beauty does wake!" You startle at the arrogance simply seeping out of his vocal cords.

"Pretty sure sleeping and being comatose are two different things, Jackass." you curtly reply while moving up into the slightly less demeaning positioning of half-sitting half-laying: hoisted up by the refined floral patterned cushions splayed about the living room.

"You say such pretty things to me, Y/n!" John says, motioning his hands in a fake swooning gesturing his hand to his forehead faking feeling faint.

"What're you looking for any way? Snooping in one me sleeping. I didn't take you for a peeping tom, maybe I should have."

"Oh don't flatter yourself. Bobby called me."

My body quickly turned cold why would Bobby call him, at this hour of night? I knew them to be close but not—calling at all hours of the night for favours—close.

"Now why in the hell would he do that John-John?"

"Would you shut up with that? you know I hate that nickname. Bob called me cause he needed me to bring some of mom's papers to the office."

How peculiar, you thought. Didn't Bobby just say, mere hours ago, that he'd left papers for Mrs Kennedy in his office? Not finding it particularly relevant you decline to tell John this fact.

"Why would he call you? He'd have a better job getting Freckles to go find it first."

"Stop that will ya? To be honest I think he's just giving me something to do I guess he feels sorry for me. Y'know about the Claudia stuff."

A melancholic stupor falls over his face, and you start to feel like you're talking to a real human being: y'know with feelings and thoughts. Seemingly some of the hubris had fallen from his features at the mere mention of that girl. You'd heard that Jackie never liked her found her too eccentric for her likening.

Uncomfortable with the certain intimacy he'd uncharacteristically shared with you, you try to lighten the mood

"If you want some basic bitch, go to the Beverly Center and find her. I'm sure the girls down fifth avenue would simply fawn over just the sight of you."

"Don't act like you're any different. You fawn over as much as the rest of them, nothing better to do", he says with a performed confidence.

"For the record I did have things to do. I don't normally mop around like you tell Bobby I do all damn day"

"Oh yeah? What things do you have to do?"

"Not much at all but I strain to think of it as your business"

"Well you are my business!"

You scoff "Oh-oh I'm your business now? Is that it?"

"You've been my business since the minute a saw you sleeping on the couch with tear stains on the pillow"

Time slows for several moments, shit how long had he been here to see you crying?

As if he can read your mind he answers your question with his next breath

"Don't worry I didn't see anything. Just saw the remnants on your pillow but it was enough to make me want to knock the teeth out of whatever boy made you like this." John says while still desperately trying to find Bobby's magically disappearing and reappearing file to deal with his uncomfortableness at his own outburst of sincerity. A mode unfamiliar to him normally.

Betraying yourself you blush like a schoolgirl, tipping your chin to your neck, the acetate claw clip clipped into your hair dragging along the base of your neck.

Slowly John makes his move towards you: precise and monitored. As if you're a wounded dear he doesn't want to scare off. Brushing a hand across your check: making his way down to tug on your bottom lip.

As if operated by magnetic pull, you meet each other's lips. Surprisingly either of the two do not fight for dominance, instead you two fall into a routine not dissimilar to that of a dance in which you both inhabit spaces of dominance and submission. A true push and pull.

A large friend graces your acquaintance and attention: in the shape of a prominent mound in his trousers, which he laughs off clearly embarrassed from getting this worked up over a 5 minute make-out session.

In the throughs of passion the papers John had been sorting through crumple slightly. That sound is what precisely stops his movements: clearly coming back to his senses and remembering that he'd promise Bobby that he'd find the papers.

Conflicted on how to move forward. John takes a big swing

"Y'know is there any chance you'd wanna come and rive with me to Bob's office, there's this Italian place we could eat at if you're hungry? Don't get me wrong I'd love—" gesturing down to the mound in his slacks "—to continue this further but I just can't let him down."

"Nah I get it. And I guess I'm a little hungry" you try to perform nonchalance to your detriment.

Chuckling at your faux coolness, John rises to stand wringing his large veiny fingers

"I'll go head and ring Bobby so he knows we're coming up, and meet you downstairs, alright?"

"Okay" you reply still out of breath as you watch him leave the living room and grab his Nokia 1011. Mortified yet extremely pleased with yourself you grab one of Jackie's refined choice of couch furnishings and yell into its feather filled centre.

A yell filled with utter disbelief and a renewed hope for the future—or at least for the rest of your night.

[artistmitchy]

I've seen quite a few people question where the skin graft scars on Strive Faust's chest and arms came from. While there may be a specific reason as to how he got those that we're unaware of, a part of me always thought it was a reference to the manga Black Jack.

Black Jack is a manga series created by famed mangaka Osamu Tezuka. (The creator of Astro Boy, Jungle Emperor Leo, and Unico, among many more.) It began serialization in Weekly Shonen Magazine in 1973 and finished after 25 volumes in 1983.

The manga is about Black Jack, a skilled surgeon with an incredibly distinct look. Born as Kuro Hazama, he adopted the name Black Jack after a horrific childhood accident. When he was a boy, he accidentally stepped on a dormant World War II landmine while playing at the beach with his mother. The explosion resulted in her death, and Kuro was left in critical condition. After many surgeries, which included emergency skin grafting, Kuro survived. The accident left him permanently disfigured, and the stress from his mother's passing made half of his hair grow white. From that day on, he vowed to become a surgeon and save others, much like how a surgeon saved his life.

If you're familiar with Faust's backstory, you can already pick up some similarities between the two. While Black Jack and Faust are both humans, many people see them as monsters. They're both mocked and teased over their appearances, which is something they can't help. Much like Black Jack, Faust also picked up an alternate alias to practice his surgeries under. They're also both back alley doctors. Due to Black Jack's appearance, he couldn't receive a proper doctorate. Instead, he practices without a license, which results in him getting into trouble with the law quite often.

This could all be a massive coincidence, but Black Jack is far from obscure in Japan. As of 2024, Black Jack is the seventh best selling manga of all time, with an estimated 170 million copies sold. You could argue that it's more successful than Astro Boy in some aspects. In 2021, a life size bronze statue of Black Jack and his daughter Pinoko was installed in Tokyo. It was installed to commemorate health workers during the Covid-19 pandemic.

What I'm trying to say is that, while the scars may not be a reference to Black Jack, there's still an absolute possibility they could be.

[lensman-arms-race]

Episode 77 part 3 and 4

(I was going to make a post with parts 3 and 4, but ran into the Tumblr image limit! I'll make another post about part 4.)

Previously: Episode 77 part 1, Episode 77 part 2

DFB has given us TV-simps some delicious food!! And I had five asks about this! Spoilers under the cut.

Pile of asks:

Anonymous:

Now that episode 77 is done what do you think is the 'plot twist'? I found 'hardware heads were human' from part 2 to be a lot more shocking than G-Man helping The Alliance.

@some-girl-i-guess-1

Did you see the new episode? What are your thoughts about it?

@gamie99

I love reading your episode reviews because you always have so much to say! And I'm sure you have SO many thoughts about this one, because HOLY COW.

Anonymous:

The latest part of the episode was pretty crazy what did you think about it? What do you think will occur in the full episode?

@love-draw-fanart

After watching 77 part 4, I started imagining Titan-TV fighting with his ghost if his body was destroyed 🤣🤣🤣🤣 very, veryyyyyy "you can't kill the death"

Part 3:

I'm a little disappointed that Cam Matriarch appears to have lost her tortoise mode + flechette cannon, because that was what made me love her in the first place! The flying cannon replacement is pretty cool... but it's sad how all the cute robots are becoming badass rather than cute.

Wonder what the 'there are 3 Polycephalies' crowd will have to say about this? Will they think there are 2 Cam Matriarchs?

The distant 'hee hee' at this point was funny as hell! I do love how Boom breaks up tension with funny parts like this.

Not only has Cam Matriarch inherited Plunk's weapons, but also his idiot ball, apparently. Mate, you can't defeat that bastard, he's like a fucking battleship.

See, TV Matriarch agrees with me... Wait... there's absolutely no need for TV Matriarch to put her hand on Cam Matriarch's boob - she's copping a feel!

Also, holy crap, how have I only just noticed Cam Matriarch's goth boots?

Polycephaly, my beloved! And what an entrance! I swoon!

My earlier point about robots becoming badass but losing some of their cute appeal still stands. The head upgrades make sense tactically but they're uncute. And my boy's lost his cuddly tendrils! Now he's got Ass-tro tech bolted on him.

Also he looks goofy with his tie tucked into his trousers instead of his waistcoat. Boo.

There was a visual glitch at this point in which Buzzsaw's helmet temporarily despawned, but Boom appears to have fixed it.

"Someone is dying... and it's not me." OUGGGHHH HOLY CRAP!! Titan TV, my beloved!!

Also he flares out his back-spikes at this point and it's so good, hnnnngh.

Fuckin' no-sells the Astro projectiles.

Interestingly, Titan TV now appears to have the ability to fire off little 'pellets' of energy from his core instead of just a huge-ass blast (note hyphen position; that's huge-ass blast, not huge ass-blast).

After swiping away the Astro projectiles, Titan TV proceeds to get one of his monitor extensions chewed off. Oops. He seems strangely unbothered by this! It almost looks as though he turns his head towards the Astro to let it happen.

Excellent Astro grump face:

"Look at me!" (Okay, but why didn't you do that before Matey Boy bit your screen off?)

Goddamn, I love what Boom does with Toilet expressions; they're hilarious!

Decapitation!

Unfortunately, some other fucker arrives and manages to both deplete the Titan's back-spikes and smash his main screen.

The Astro strider appears to break the Titan's screen by getting behind his head and then suddenly pushing his head forward. Did the Titan's screen break on his own core-spikes? Or just from the stress on his head-casing?

The Titan does appear to catch the Astro in his back-spikes (and then fling the Astro away), which presumably is how the Astro breaks some of the spikes off.

"Your Titan wouldn't want you to die meaninglessly. Leave, while you still can." TVs are rude fuckers but they do still care about their comrades! That's why I love them best.

This prick shows up. I get the feeling they were muttering 'If you want something done right, do it yourself'. This Astro fights more competently than the last two.

Fortunately, Titan TV is saved from total annihilation by the Cams firing a shot from their tank, which buys the Titan enough time to counter-attack... and say a very curious line.

"You can't kill the dead!"

Is this just trash-talking, or an actual lore drop?? "I'll show you what the other side looks like!"

Is this an implication that TVs come from dead humans (or believe that they do)? Maybe TVs believe that they're already dead, because the state of the world is so shitty that it must be already Hell?

Or maybe this is just like Pete Weber, who got so excited bowling that he ended up saying "Who do you think you are? I am! Dammit right!"

Either way, we're treated to one of the most brutal deaths in the series, in which Titan TV crushes the Astro's head in his bare hands.

Polycephaly comforts the dying Cam who managed to fire the distracting shot. "You did well, lil bro." My heart!

"We teleported everyone to base." Except POV Cam, because they smell.

Also where's your head-turrets? (I hope Boom puts them back in the full episode.)

Titan TV is wrecked but is still spoiling for a rumble. Part 3 ends with him calling out the arriving Astros as 'pathetic trash' and demanding to fight Juggernaut. (One detail I liked here is that we hear the rhythmic clanking sound of Titan TV's core claws, rotating but no longer smoothly. It's rather like the ominous ticking of a clock signalling impending doom.)

Wait... if he has no working TV screens, he's not Titan TV Man. He's just Titan Man. Ehehe.

It's a little surprising how 2-dimensional these fights are - as in the characters stay in one plane close to the ground, even though they can all fly. I suppose we'd have to wait even longer between episodes if Boom had to choreograph swooping aerial fights!

[hellspawnmotel]

hi! i just binged all of Pluto in one night because i thought “Oh there’s robots in this one and I liked the Astro Boy movie” and bc you posted about it!! i am now going crazy at 2 am. thank u for posting about pluto. i’m dying over it.

🫡 my pleasure it's one of my favorite manga and also what got me (back) into astro boy both times I read it. happy to spread the word

Jesus Christ though all in one night? are you like, okay

[ldysmfrst]

America Mate (8) - Time to Tell the Family Pack

Chapter 8 is live for Patreon members! This chapter is 11,456 words of fluff, intensity, and amusement. Check out a teaser below!

“Are you serious? You agreed to be our playmate?” Soekjin inquires, stepping up next to Yoongi.

Standing up, you look at the two hybrids with a smile. “Yes,” you say, glancing over at Namjoon and Jungkook. “I may not be a normal playmate, and this may not be a normal situation, but I am willing to try to make it work.”

At your words, the pack erupts into exclamations of joy, shock, and happiness. The room is flooded with happy scents and a warm abundance of vanilla. 

Their reactions also make you smile, which only becomes wider when you become a Yoongi and Jungkook sandwich. Soon follows Seokjin, then Taehyung and Hoseok, and lastly comes Jimin and Namjoon. You have fully been engulfed in a pack pile. 

While it is all good and dandy, they won’t let go. Logically, you understand that they are just finding a way to claim you as their playmate and temporary pack member. The attention is a little unnerving. 

“Well, this is an endearing sight to see, Bangtan. I won’t disrupt too much. I just wanted to let you all know that I have sent over the signed contract. Miss Y/n only needs to attend a health screening appointment and clear her office desk by the end of the week. Everything should be good,” Manager Sejin says from the hallway. 

“I will let myself out. Remember you have a schedule tomorrow which Yoongi is excused from to assist her, but the rest of you need sleep. It's getting late.”

With that, you find yourself still in the middle of a very warm cluster of hybrid men. As thrilled as most Army would be, it is too much too soon for you.

“Umm, guys. Can we maybe take a step back?” you ask the group, resulting in unpleasant grumbles all around. 

“No, like, really. I need air, or space, or breathing room.” with still no response, you raise your voice, “I need out!” 

You are now batting and pushing for freedom while raising your voice, breaking the boys out of whatever headspace they had gone into. The boys move to sit or stand around the living room, now feeling mildly awkward as you are feeling disgruntled and overwhelmed. 

Once you can wiggle out of them, move to the farthest corner near the backyard doors, take a few breaths, and let the warm vanilla scent settle you. 

Man, you need to find out what kind of cleaner or candle they use.

The boys look at each other and have silent conversations with their eyes and hands about what should happen next since they realize they have overstepped yet again. 

At this most inopportune time, your stomach decides to roar like a ravenous dragon. Looking at your phone, you realize you ate last at the lunch meeting with Manager Sejin.

“It seems that my promise to keep you eating well and happy starts right away,” Seokjin says with a slight chuckle as he walks up next to you.

He hands you his phone with the Doordash app open. “Here you go, dear. Dinner is on me. Pick any place you like and order whatever you want. I think the rest of us should go unpack enough to sleep.”

The boys nod and murmur in agreement, moving to their rooms. Namjoon mentions something about no seafood, and Taehyung asks for nothing spicy.

“Oh… Thank you, Mr. Kim,” you smile while looking through the app, only to stop when a hand is placed on your arm.

“You are with us now. Please use our names or even nicknames. I hope you feel comfortable and allow us to use yours as well,” Seokjin mentions before heading upstairs.

“Names or nicknames. Got it – Jin.”

Before going down the hall, he smiles at you one last time, “When you are done ordering for everyone, just send it out.”

After giving him a thumbs up, you murmur to yourself, “Order for everyone… no, what was it again? Oy… I hardly know what I want most of the time, much less for seven Korean men.

[uyuforu]

Jungkooks fs being famous is quite possible due to him having asteroid fama conjunct his DSC and bride asteroid.

I wanna know what you and ✌️ anon say about this.I'm really looking forward to your and ✌️ anon's post together because you guys work great as a team and you both seem very precise and on point with astrology predictions. I'm learning alot from you both. I'm a new astro boy so please dont judge me for the little guessing that i did.

Jungkook's Fama Asteroid in his Natal Chart + in his Briede Persona Chart

(idk about the gif lol)

What is the Asteroid Fama?

Asteroid Fama (408) is an asteroid discovered in 1895 by Max Wolf. It was named after the roman goddess Fama. It's used in astrology to represent fame in general. You can use it to know in what field you could be famous, and in your solar return chart, when you have more chance to blow up. It also represents rumors, lies and gossips.

-> Here, the anon is talking how it may effect on his FS as it conjunct the DSC, so I wanna talk about the Fama in his Natal but also on his BPC!

Jungkook's Fama in NC

Fama Cancer

-> Cancer Fama to me is like being born in fame. It's like always being part of Fame. JK entered the entertainment industry extremely young (12 yo), it feels a vibe of growing up in the fame. Fame is your home, your house, what you know because he literally grew up in it. It can also mean dreaming of fame since you are a child. His caring side, his nurturing side, him showing jealousy will. help him get fame. We all known how JK can be veryyyy jealous lol and it's part of his popularity, let's not lie. He is a very relatable person and this helped a lot in his fame. He feels like everyone can get along with him, he feels like he is a safe person. This is why people love him so much. He appreciates things naturally. Fama cancer also makes the person being protected more easily. Fans, Army, even other BTS members, he will also be the baby of everyone. If he shows his cute side, fame will be even more easy for him (and it did happen!) This placement may signify JK's mom wanted him to be famous.

Fama in 7H

-> His fame being in the 7H literally means contracts are important for JK. Signing the right contracts will make him blow up (literally what happened). The 7H is connected to Libra, making him famous also for his look, attractiveness, his charm. He will be known for how he looks. Or his look will help him gain fame. People can be very interested and talk a lot about his appearance. Relationships are also a big theme with the 7H. People will spread a lot or rumors about it, and talk about it often. And it can mean JK will often be known for iconic look, outfits, etc. Being married will make JK even more famous. It also means meeting a lot of love interests during fame. It also means that he naturally make people love him. Having good contacts is also a factor here.

Fama 7°

-> Beauty, charm and fashion are important factors. JK will be known for his face, his style, his fashion, his charming appearance and personality. He will give the illusion to be perfect in a sense, this is also why many people thought he was libra rising before. His Fame persona is literally full of libra placements. The 7° is also pulled but music and art. This makes the native good at making art and music and making them famous for it. Not even surprised lmao.

Fama Conjunct DC

-> SO, this placement has something to do with his FS of course. But, it also has something to do with him first. This placement is literally meaning getting married to fame. JK will never escape fame anymore. He got in very young but will always be famous. He can't go back! That's a good thing in a way he has never to be worry about if it will stop one day (and Fama also aspects his sun), but it's also a curse. It means he will never be able to have a full private life.

Jungkook's Fama in NC about his FS

Fama Conjunct (exactly) DC

-> So, Fama conjunct DC can indicate also having a famous Bride. I always felt like his FS will be famous in the future. Maybe not right now as today, but in the future. She has a lot of placements in JK's BPC that indicates fame. She is meant to be famous one day! It can also mean having a famous marriage, or being a famous married couple.

Fama Conjunct Briede Asteroid

-> Literally marriying a famous person. Bride will be famous when they will be married. JK might meet her when she is famous and marry her. It doesn't feel like she will get famous because of him. But fame might get even more significant for both once they are together.

Fama Square Venus

-> Fame might be difficult for JK generally for his love life. His love life is complicated because of his fame. It can also means a lot of gossips and rumors go around because of it. And JK suffers about that placement. It also means, related to his FS, that a lot of rumors and gossips will make his FS be the victim. She will be treated like shit by the public at first. People literally hate any girls that get close to JK, what did you expect?

Fama Semi-sextile Juno

-> A famous love! It means their love story will be famous. This part is 100% my interpretation. Love life of JK is famous, but Juno is the asteroid which represents FS, love of your life. So JK and FS's love story will be known to the public. It's like Kate and William or Brad and Jen's/ Angelina's type of love story. The kind of stories that people talked about a thousand time, everyone knows what happened.

Jungkook's Fama in his BPC

Fama Leo

-> Sooo, how many times did I tell you she is meant to be famous? A LOT. This is the n°1 indicator of fame. Michael Jackson has this placement. Fame is your destiny girl. And it also means fame will go well with her. Like she will shine even more for being famous. Her personality, her confidence, her talents, her smile, everything like that will make her famous. She might be very charming and charismatic. People talk about her easily, and she has a lot of admirers. Even without being famous, many people can have a crush on her, or people might tell her often how she is an example for them in their life. Success is easy to her, and she might attracts luck easily. You can't compete with her, she will always win! And so this placement also indicates people easily being jealous of you. But because the sun is in Cancer in JK's BPC, it might be that she is too innocent to understand why? She might not get why people are jealous of her because she has a natural carrying nature.

Fama 11H

-> High level status, big popularity among people, People around her might feel like she is popular, or she always has been popular before. She is just famous for being who she is. Friends can play along, the people she hang out with can make her famous, or she can be famous for having friends. Or once she is famous, people will say "ah yes JKFS has a lot of friends", something like that lol. She might be a bit special, unique, or something about her will make her stand out in the crowd. She might be known for being "weird", very different from others and standing to it. She is not trying to fade into the mass, and that could add to her popularity. Because Fama is in Leo, it's just natural for her to be popular wherever she goes. She just attracts people's eyes. She may belong to certain communities that make her famous too. Gaining fame on social medias is big there. She could be known for being very relatable or friendly. Or even stubborn lmao.

Fama 8°

-> Michael Jackson also has this placement lmao byyeee. 8° is connected to scorpio, so death, wealth, manifestation, enemies, secrets, jealousy, sex, etc. Many people will be jealous of her for sure. The public might hate her because she naturally attracts a lot and others might feel like she is "stealing" something from them. She might also be famous for being secretive. People will obsess with her and talk about her a lot. They might be very interested in her, and want to be part of her private life.

Fama Semi-Sextile North Node

-> Literally part of her destiny. I wanna say that fame has to do with her soul purpose in this life. Fame might help her in her duty, or it's just part of it. She won't escape this part.

Mercury Conjunct Fama

-> Speeches or voice is part of the fame. She could be famous for her voice, either it's singing or just taking. Her speeches could be famous, or she will be famous for something she said. Her expressions also. Or it can also be her knowledges in languages. This can also mean people will often talk about her. Many rumors and gossips are on its way. People will just love to gossip about her. And it means whatever she does, it's like it'll be on national news.

Sun Semi-Sextile Fama

-> Shine bright like a diamond. Literally. She'll have lights on her. It's like she was made for fame. She can handle it well. It can also mean she always dreamed to be famous. Since it's also in Leo, it can be very much a desire of hers. Or she always daydreamed about it.

Fama Semi-Sextile ASC

-> Can be famous for her appearance. I already told you before (and many others tarot readers said the same) she will be often talked about her look. People will talk about how she looks, it can be praising her look, her outfits, her make up but also talking sh*t about her. She will be famous for her beauty. Something about her looks so so good. It can also be rumors concerning her appearance (pregnancy, surgeries, etc.)

Thank you for reading!

back to index ; ask ; requests ; rules

[wanderersrest]

An Abbreviated History of Mecha Part 1: The Mighty Atomic Prelude (The 50's and 60's)

Welcome to An Abbreviated History of Mecha anime. Today, we're starting at, as Fraulein Maria would say, at the very beginning. We're taking a quick peak at the beginning of the canon, which means that we're starting back in 1950 (specifically 1952). I should also confess right now: there are two series on here that are demonstrably NOT mecha shows. However, due to their sheer influence on Japanese media as a whole, I feel it is important to bring them up as being honorary mecha shows due to their sheer influence pop culture.

Tetsuwan Atom/Mighty Atom/Astro Boy (1952)

Starting us off is Osamu Tezuka's seminal manga series, Mighty Atom. Known over here in the west as Astro Boy, this series would be what kickstarts a lot of the modern anime and manga industry due to its sheer popularity. Astro Boy would also be one of two series that would be emblematic of how Japanese pop culture would portray the recent use of atomic energy. It should also be worth noting that realizing that Astro technically is a mecha is what got me to start using a broader definition of mecha instead of the classic giant robot definition.

Due to its fame, Mighty Atom has receive multiple adaptations throughout the years. Of note are:

The original 1963 anime.

New Mighty Atom (1980) which updates the series to 1980's animation standards.

The 2003 anime, which does the same, but to the standards of early 2000's anime.

The 2009 CGI movie.

Gojira/Godzilla (1954, honorary mecha series 1)

1954 would also give us Ishiro Honda's Godzilla, the movie that would make tokusatsu-styled live action stories in Japan. Godzilla, alongside RKO's King Kong, would play a large part in popularizing the concept of kaiju. And boy will kaiju play a big part in the history of the mecha canon. As we'll see soon enough, the history of tokusatsu heroes, kaiju, and robots are all intertwined with one another.

Godzilla has starred in numerous movies since the original, but for stories based off of the original there are:

Godzilla Raids Again (1955), a direct sequel.

Godzilla, Mothra, King Ghidorah: All Out Monsters Attack (2001), a Heisei-era production that uses the original '54 Godzilla as a manifestation of the horrors of World War II.

Shin Godzilla (2016), a re-imagining of the original movie set in contemporary times directed by Hideakki Anno.

Godzilla Minus One (2023), the most recent outing inspired in part by GMK.

Tetsujin 28-go/Gigantor (1956)

(Oh hey, this gif again!)

Tetsujin 28-go is the creation of one Mitsuteru Yokoyama and is generally regarded as the grandfather of the giant robot style of mecha. Tetsujin is unique amongst mecha in that it is controlled not by a pilot riding inside of it, but by a little kid with a controller. Tetsujin 28, alongside Mazinger Z, would help to codify a lot of the tropes common to the classic superhero mecha anime that would be prevalent in the 70's. Like Mighty Atom, Tetsujin would receive multiple adaptations throughout the decades.

Shin Tetsujin 28-Go/The New Adventures of Gigantor (1980), which updates Tetsujin's design to look more in line with something like Mazniger Z.

Tetsujin 28-go FX (1992), sporting a radically different look that's more akin to something out of the Brave Franchise.

Tetsujin 28 (2004), a faithful adaptation of the original manga (at least I think it is) directed by Yasuhiro Imagawa.

Cyborg 009 (1964)

Created by Shotaro Ishinomori in 1964, Cyborg 009 is another classic human-sized mecha series. Cyborg 009 would be the first of many hits for Ishinomori, and he will be mentioned again later in this series.

Oh boy... I am not a Cyborg 009 nut, but in terms of adaptations, Cyborg 009 has:

The 1966 Film

The 1980 Film

009 Re:Cyborg (2012)

The Call For Justice Trilogy (2016)

The 1968 Anime

The 1979-1980 Anime

The 2001-2002 Anime (I actually remember when Toonami aired this series!)

Cyborg 009 vs Devilman (2015 OVA)

If you want to follow someone who follows a lot of Shotaro Ishinomori's works, I'd recommend checking out YouTuber Mercury Falcon for more info about Ishinomori.

Ultra Q and Ultraman (1966, honorary mecha series 2)

(The urge to use a gif of Ingraman is strong)

Ultra Q and Ultraman are the first two entries of Tsuburaya's legendary Ultra franchise, with the latter in particular being one of the most famous pop culture icons of all time. Ultraman's influence on Japanese media is so large, that I'll be mentioning it at least once in relation to other series later on.

Ultraman, like Godzilla before him, would get the Hideaki Anno treatment with Shin Ultraman in 2022.

Giant Robo/Johnny Sokko and His Flying Robot (1967)

Another one of Mitsuteru Yokoyama's classic manga series, Giant Robo deserves a mention due to its influence on tokusatsu. Giant Robo would usher in an era of tokusatsu that would rely on using giant robots as the main protagonist.

In terms of adaptations, there are two animated adaptations, but only one will be listed here:

GR: Giant Robo (2007)

If you want to learn a little bit more about the history behind Giant Robo, I'd recommend checking out blunova's video on Giant Robo for more info on this important series.

Conclusion

As the 60's would lead way into the 70's, we would see a lot more live action tokusatsu series involving giant robots. Of course, this would be untenable due to how expensive it was to do tokusatsu effects for television. However, one robot would appear in animation that would change everything.

(Read in the voice of Tessho Genda) AND ITS NAME IS...!!!!

[witch--btch]

Negai no Astro Chapter 7 Leaks

◢◤◢◤◢◤◢spoilers below◤◢◤◢◤◢◤

A flashback of Kuran speaking with Kongo?

A rough translation could be read as (from top right to bottom left);

「 ….. I’m sorry, everyone… 」 - kuran

“What?” “You want me to teach you how to make money from the pot?” - Kongo

“Yes.” “I want to create the best club and security in Ikebukuro.” - Kuran

「 I was desperate. I can’t do this unless I throw away my emotions..」 - kuran

AND THEN THESE BOYS START MAKING FUN OF KURANS ASTRO LIKE CHILL—😭

“What’s up with that Astro! With the tail!!” - Hibaru

“The gap is too much! WITH THE TAIL!!” - Terasu

The way kuran’s petting his tail like😭 i did not expect him to be so soft— it’s a very pleasant surprise♡

“Botan helped me realize who I really am.” - Kuran

“The real you?” - Hibaru

“Yeah. I wished I could laugh, but all I got was the power to change.” - Kuran

KOU WHY SO RUDE MAN— DID WE NOT JUST SEE YOUR TRUE COLORS LMAO

I know I know he’s probably only saying this as a ‘don’t come back u til you know what it’s like to really smile again’. kind of way.

“You're no longer needed. Don't ever show that sad face again.” - Kou

DAMN OKAY BRO???

We get to see Kuran transform one more time… while it’s not confirmed what it is yet, I’m assuming he’s transforming into his younger self to give everyone this final goodbye smile:

SIR WHY YOU JUST GOT YOUR TAIL WHIPPING OUT LIKE THAT IM CRYING OUT THAT THING AWAY(don’t really it’s kinda cute)

Aaaand WOW! Biggest spoiler of the night; KURAN ACTUALLY JOINS HIBARU AND TERASU!!! I honestly didn’t expect this, but I am SO excited to see more of my man’s♡

Honestly, he’d make an awesome addition to the team, so this is a really smart call!

Final thoughts:

Honestly, I was a Kuran Stan since day one; ever since he was first shown in promotional art, I knew he was going to be a character I loved, AND SO FAR, KURAN STANS HAVE DONT NOTHING BUT EAT!!! GOOD!!!! WE STAY WINNING BABES!!!

The emotional turmoil; past trauma and development into this shell of a person you once used to be… it’s all very personal and beautiful.

Kou is even growing on me; anytime he makes a deranged little comment I realize where he’s coming from now. Not a place of hate, but a place of hurt. It’s very interesting.

I also can’t wait to see Hibaru work his magic in the next few chapters!

I love that they’re riding motorcycles in the end too !!! I want to know what types they are now!

[cthulhusstepmom]

It's all in the eyes.

When Kremy had first started working his way through casinos he'd been practically unstoppable. Starting with short trips, dipping his toes in so to speak; Staying just long enough to win a hand before cashing out and making a break for it(he'd learned the hard way about that special breed of thug that likes to beat up kids with a little cash). Slowly, one hand turned into two turned into three and four. Soon enough he would be playing tables for hours, bouncing between games with a smile and a wink.

Problem being there's only so many casinos around Agwé. Mobility wise he was also somewhat limited, unless he felt like swimming or ducking through the swamp, but he only had the one good shirt, can't afford to ruin it or they won't let him in. That and being too young and stupid to know better is what led him to that table in the Hungry Catfish.

He was about to cut it and cash out when he'd felt a clammy hand on his shoulder, looked up into the eyes of a bullywug with a smile too wide for his already froggy face. He hadn't bothered putting up a fuss about his winnings as he was steered from the table towards the bowels of the boat. What's money worth to a dead man anyway?

Mr.Guru's office is opulent, decorated with draperies in rich deep shades of blue. Kremy can feel the soles of the better of his two pairs of shoes sink deep into the carpet that he's too scared to lift his eyes from. Deep smoky incense and cigar smoke make the still air heavy and thick. It isn't helped at all by the almost physical weight of Mr.Guru's eyes focused solely on him.

"You hit a real lucky break there son. Do you know the odds of winning ten hands in a row?" His voice is gravelly, dark, with an edge of malice hanging over the words like a thunderhead.

"No sir." Of course he knew it was astro-fucking-nomical. He got greedy, Ma's birthday is coming up and he'd seen a beautiful pearl necklace in a shop window passing through the Magnolia Promenade, he'd wanted to grab the cash in one night so he'd be able to pull enough double shifts at the kitchen to make it believable when he showed up with it. If only he'd chosen any other casino.

"I don't appreciate being lied to boy."

"I'm sorry sir, I'm sure you don't sir."

"Why don't you go ahead and look me in the eyes when I'm talking to you?"

Suddenly his head moves on its own, he can't think of any better idea than looking Mr.Guru in the eyes, there's certainly no reason not to. Almost as soon as the conviction roots itself in his mind, it vanishes. But not before he's wrenched his face upward to lock eyes with the devil.

"You have the eyes of a sinner boy." He sounds pleased, smug. "You care to explain to me why I should let a whelp like you walk out of my casino with all that cash?"

Kremy stands his ground. He knows bullies, dealt with them all his life. And Mr.Guru isn't as such. He's a shark; Complete with the cold dead eyes, such a dark brown they're almost black. This is a man in power, power that Kremy can't even begin to understand. The moment he sees weakness, the moment he smells blood, Kremy is as good as chum in the water.

"Suppose I just have the luck of the cards with me Sir."

"That right? They speak to you do they?"

Kremy feels a small smile creep across his scaly lips.

"From a certain point of view."

To Kremy's utter shock, Mr.Guru lets out a bark of gravelly laughter.

"What do you do boy? Besides win improbable odds."

"Well sir I'm a fine chef and a quick learner."

Those black eyes narrow for a moment as Mr.Guru strokes a hand over his well trimmed beard.

"Could use a pair of hands like yours in my galley. What do you say son?"

The smile becomes a crocodile grin.

"Where do I sign Mr.Guru?"

It's not regret necessarily.

Kremy knows regret, intimately, and he can't quite say he regrets signing that contract. Perhaps guilt is a better fit. Deep down he knows he didn't really have much of a choice, if he hadn't accepted Mr.Guru's offer of employment he would have ended up like these poor souls.

Pushing the last of the heavy burlap sacks over the edge of the boat Kremy feels a sigh bubbling in his throat. It's an odd thing to be all introspective and shit when you're disposing of bodies, or so he’s been told. Personally, Kremy feels it's a very natural time to feel existential but he knows better than to try and make discussion over it now. He's just here because he's stronger than the bullywugs and it's been a busy night.

Now that he's been promoted to pit boss he's been spending more and more time with the Grinning Sinners, or the other Grinning Sinners(Mr.Guru has never been too clear on exactly what Kremy is in the organization, keeps everyone guessing that way, prevents anyone from getting too chummy with one another). Whether that be patrolling the pit, taking inventory, or dealing with some of the more unwanted patrons in whatever ways the Boss deemed necessary. He'd even been sent out to collect on bargains for Mr.Guru, a task that most of the Grinning Sinners are disallowed from.

Tonight there are whispers in the air though, one of the mid level Sinners(Jean-Claude he's pretty sure) is going to challenge the boss. It'll be his first time seeing it in person, he'd heard it a few times in his years in the kitchen, provided refreshments even. It's a privilege Mr.Guru provides all of his employees: the opportunity to challenge him to a poker game for your contract. If you win, you walk away with your soul in hand; no longer blemished by the contract you've signed. If you lose, another seven years are added to your time aboard the Hungry Catfish.

He's never heard of anyone winning.

And tonight is no exception.

As he leans against the bar, he attempts to subtly look over his boss's shoulder, get a glance of his cards; but it's almost like a veil of shadow sits over them and all he can see is darkness. Every time they hit the table though, it's clear as day how poorly Jean-Claude is making out. Word on deck is that he'd been seeing a gal and was looking to propose. Kremy had seen her a few times, she was alright he supposes though not to his tastes(between being rather toad-like and being of a womanly persuasion, there's not much to pique his interest). The information being passed down along the bar is that Jean-Claude had six years left in his contract; Hopefully his lady love would wait for him for thirteen.

The first time Kremy gambles his soul they're deep in the woods, returning from a meeting between Mr.Guru and a powerful business associate.

"Mr.Guru?" He asks, staring deep into the fire as he allows the bullywugs to clean up after dinner(an arrangement he can't say he dislikes too much, Kremy despises doing dishes almost as much as he loves cooking).

The man himself moves just a smidgen, tilting his head with an indulgent "Hmm?"

"Would you kindly play a game of poker with me?"

He loses. Badly.

It's the first time he's truly lost a game of cards in a long, long time.

Mr.Guru claps him on the back with a smile that shows too many teeth.

“Maybe next time son.”

He loses the next time too. And the next. 

After the fourth he’d gone to find help in the only place he knew. 

Pierre has a comfy seat in the organization all things considered, he may as well be Mr.Guru’s right hand man. And he didn’t get there by luck(or misconception given how many bullywugs seem to have his same name). With a steel trap mind and the instincts of both a killer and a gambler, he makes an excellent pit boss; and a better confidant. 

“What the fuck is it Pierre? I’ve practiced my poker face till my muscles froze up. I know it’s not that. I don’t have tells, I know I don’t!” Seated at the bar, Pierre gives him an unimpressed look. “Right, I’ll listen.”

“You are young yet Kremy, and full of passion. And apparently all the knowledge in the universe if you are to be believed.” Kremy finds himself glad that he can’t flush under the gentle admonishment.

“Sounds like a you problem if you’re believing.”

Pierre grants him a croaky chuckle “Listen and Pierre will tell, your silvery barbs may amuse Mr.Guru but he is a man with much more patience than I.” 

Kremy nods eagerly. 

“There are many ways out of a contract, Kremy, you must learn to think outside of the box if you don’t want to be inside of it. You can iron out every muscle in your face, spend hours mastering the control of your expression, but you will never cull your true tell.”

He sits stone still as if that will make it easier to catalog all that Pierre is saying.

The old bullywug takes his hand. “Your eyes, Kremy. There is a fire inside of you that cannot be doused, it shows in your eyes. They will always betray you.” 

Eventually he’d realized that Pierre was right, after stubbornly extending his contract another fourteen years. So he thought outside of the box. It was easy enough to track down Mr.Guru’s generous benefactor, even easier to sign yet another contract(though he read through this one much more thoroughly). Taking a patron and taking another name for himself: Lecroux. And well, technically speaking Kremy Lecroux didn’t sign his soul away to Mr.Guru. It wasn’t an honorable way out but if there’s one thing Kremy is good at it’s cheating. Sort of poetic in the end, that cheating Mr.Guru got him into this mess and (from a certain point of view) it’ll get him out of it as well. 

From then it was history. He skipped town, swam through the swamp for a few days before pulling himself up out of the river and setting about getting a new set of clothes. Trading playing cards for a set of dice, though he still kept his aces close (tucked into the brim of his new hat to be exact). Altogether he was a new man. And one night as he sat down for a drink, his wandering eyes found another fire. 

His name was Gideon.

[flodeshe]

Astro notes 3 🌟 (including synastry)

Hi! Thank you so much for reading my posts!! I really appreciate it!Also big thank you to everyone who commented/liked/reblogged some of my posts, it means a lot to me! Keep in mind that these are just observations based on my experience and may not apply to everyone.I am not an astrologer.Thank you

-I noticed we tend to be attracted to the sign over the IC in the natal chart.It might be because the IC represents our roots,family and ancestors so we may feel familiar with that sign and therefore be attracted to it.

>Ex: I have Aries over my IC , and I tend to be attracted to Aries placements or Mars dominant people.

- Capricorn placements are usually VERY cautious when it comes to their money! As a result, they might come off as a bit stingy. They also tend to save their money.They find security and stability within their financial situation.They are the type of person to think:I have to have enough money because you never know what could happen.Hence, they usually give a pretty big legacy to their children.

-- I don’t know why but I have seen many boys being born in February and having lighter eyes( blue/green) and also lighter hair (usually blonde hair)!!

Now, a synastry observation about a placement overlay:

-Moon in 3rd house overlay in synastry ✨: I’ts a nice placement for communication. Personally, I have it with a childhood friend and communication is really important between us.When we talk to each other, we usually laugh a lot and I feel like we understand each other in a way.I think a reason why I enjoy this overlay might be due to Gemini rulling my 7th house which is the house of partnership and originally ruled by Venus(the planet of love) and I also have Moon in the 7th house.Moreover, the 3rd house and 7th house are both ruled by air signs which is why I may like 3rd house synastry or air houses overlays in general.And Gemini rules the 3rd house (of siblings,communication,intellect..) so.. With this overlay, the persons involve may like making jokes and even sometimes tease the other, most specifically with their words. Moreover, it can also means that even if the 2 persons are not considered as talkative, well, they might be very chatty when they are together.Also, one could talk a lot about the other to their friends or family without noticing it.Great placement for friendship (it could also be good with romantic relationships of course!).

So talking about synastry, I want to remember you that even if there are aspects or placements considered “best” or "worst" for romantic relationships, we all have different birth charts and we are all human beings with different perspectives and personalities, hence before checking a synastry , CHECK THE BIRTH CHART! Because, you are certainly more familiar/comfortable with certain placements/signs than others.Also, a synastry chart does not make a relationship.

Let’s talk about Adonis asteroid in synastry :

- Adonis (2101)😍 , is an asteroid which represents our “ideal man”, the type of men you are attracted to.I recommend to check its aspects and placement in your birth chart if you are interested in men.Jupiter in astrology, represents the husband. And I have Jupiter conjunct Adonis with 2 guys I thought were my ideal type and who got me faking scenarios in my head like “us getting married”lol..Also, I know a friend who has that aspect with a guy she had a big crush on and who looked like her “type”..

Me falling for them lol (found on Pinterest):

-Aquarius placements in composite or even Uranus contacts in synastry feels like:

(found on Pinterest, again lol(;

-I really LOVE Moon trine/sextile Uranus in synastry (platonic or romantic relationship) because it feels like the 2 accept each other's "weirdness" in a way.Like when you are together you are goofy and you feel you could do anything and the other person wouldn't judge you.LOVE IT!!ps: Venus in Aquarius😁 here

That's it for today.Thank you so much for reading!You can tell me if you have experiencied any of these placements! Sending love and light😘! Have an amazing day !