#also wanna talk to more ppl on here that like him but am afraid to initiate convos

[greenokapi]

Sometimes u just wanna make a Ghirahim that represents ur current mood, based on that one Qiqi icon...

[boofeine]

Heyyyy I really love your writing and I think it fits the members very well

I am not sure if you do these types of request but are you okay with writing headcanons on Jeonghan's personality? Like just his personality in general? Are you okay with adding some spicy (I didn't know which other word I was supposed to use) ones at the end? How would he be like? I am a very weird person and I love analysing people's personality and jeonghan happens to be my main interest these days lol. You can do it through tarot if you want!! You of course know better than me lol and I am completely alright if you don't wanna do my request. I will still love you lol

helloo!! u r def not weird at all!! as a psychology major bb i also love analyzing ppl :)))) — i won't work with tarot for now bc next year im planning on open requests just for it. one more thing I've done tarot in their persona in bed over here !

Jh's personality – headcanons

WARNINGS: mdni under the cut, descriptive and mention of sexual subjects

jeonghan gives me best friends vibes... he looks calm, almost indifferent, but he just looks like he loves to peep with you, to talk for hours and go grab meals together. he reminds me of family.

you know his lives just eating, joking around and talking... that's exactly how he is with his friends. obviously, he's more reserved because it's with us, but i feel he is all out with his friends. that one friend that literally doesn't know when to stop the teasing and goes overboard, but it's funny nonetheless... especially when he's drunk.

prefers to do meetings at his home with homemade barbecue and beverages. or going to a restaurant with his close friends. not the club type 100%. he likes the introspective meetings.

cocky and flirty for fun :/

so so so so caring!!!!!! the type of person you'd choose to say your deepest secrets and ask advice. hears you closely, gives you comfort, and tries to help you how he can. he will even make sure to check up on you for the next days, make a joke or two to light up your mood.

he's love language is probably acts of service.

don't ever pick up a fight with jeonghan... he's that type of scary that nothing bothers him until it does. his words get assertive, and he's not afraid of saying what he has to.

something makes me believe jeonghan is protective with his friends. he will speak up if he's in a situation that makes any of his friends or anyone really uncomfortable. when there's something you tell him, he not necessarily picks a fight but encourages you to do what you should, would that be cut someone toxic from your life or doing what you want.

Spicy Thoughts

kinky!!!! KINKYYY!!! he will be honest with his wantings and desires with you, you will know what he wants to try, and he's hoping you're wanting too. communicative as hell, we love it.

jeonghan isn't quiet. man trying to contain himself?? not him!! he moans, groans, dirty talk, grunts, the whole package bb. you're making him feel good, and he wants you to know.

a switch and open for anything.

sex drive high and horny. when i say he's open for anything, i mean it... he's up for anything!! will not always be penetrative sex, you want to get on your knees and suck him, fine, let's do it. want to make out, grind and cum on your panties, he's up to. just finger you and make you cum on his tongue, okay... let's do that.

not the type to enjoy lazy or slow sexy, he likes raw, sweaty, and nasty sex.

im sorry, but i do believe he'd go to strip clubs. i feel like sex is a need for him, like a healthy need, you know what i mean? so if he's not with someone, he'd would satisfy that paying for it.

a tease, baby!!! prepare yourself for overstimulation, sensory play, and orgasm denial. he's up to make you cum many times 🙂‍↕️ you're getting sore and sensitive next morning.

jeonghan is not aggressive. he's ok with accessories, handcuffs, blindfolds, anything, he's just not causing you any physical pain.

[glassjoeandgreattigersssimp]

do you have a personal ranking list of PO boxers from most bae to least bae

Yeah! Here it is ^^ (pretend Great Tiger is above the 10/10 category)

(Tw: me personal opinions about the top boxers ahead! If you disagree, that's okie, but it's just my opinion lol)

(Tw: also talks of sex)

- Wouldn't date King Hippo because I hc him as a straight up animal and the more I think about it... he's probably my least favorite character. I'm so sorry @ohshy

- Passing on Doc and the Ref bc they both bland imo... although I'd put Doc above the ref bc he's got a good personality and we could be friends, bit I wouldn't wanna do anything bae-like with him

- Passing on Sandy too bc he's scary and bland at the same time. He's bland in the fact that his only personality is "boxing" (off topic but I'm tired of ppl saying the other characters aren't boxers bc they too cartoony... like bruh, if you want a realistic boxing simulator with super serious straight-faced boxers, go play an ea game lol) and like... that's it. He's just the strongest, and not in a fun way. But he's also scary bc if I met him irl I'd feel too afraid to even have a normal conversation with him... nevermind find any attraction for him. Also his haircut in his title defense mode is whack

- Whoever said Bald Bull borders on being ugly and handsome is 💯 on the money. Sometimes if I think of him long enough, I could see him as hot? Especially nowadays now that I'm more engrossed into the characters... but him being bae is kinda problematic bc of the obvious issue of his rage issues... like ik Arans got that issue too but Aran is something else, and even if Bull wouldn't break my pancreas if I pissed him off, he'd be at the top of the date category at most.

- Dragon Chan is THE most Bae spo boxer. I like their hair, their build, their unqiue fighting style... I wish they had a more defined voice though... and a 3D sprite. Really, if DC was in the Wii version of punch out, they'd be way up list. They're a rough draft of what would be a smash, but with some development, DC could be soooo freaking attractive.

- Soda is tall and muscular... I love his himbo vibes, but that's about it. His skin is pinkish red (which isn't really a handsome attribute- like tf are you Patrick star-) he'd be an awesome cuddle partner, and would probably treat me right, but that's about it.

- Bear Hugger is also a great cuddle partner. First of all, stan body diverse boxers, second of all, he loves animals and nature, which is a wonderful personality trait. I like his carefree attitude, his squirrel, I like Candian-ness, and with the right art style, he could be really handsome. But there's also the obvious turn off that keep me from smashing him... he probably smells bad, no matter how much I lie to myself, that's probably the truth, and while I praised his confidence to be a boxer while also being chubby, I feel like that could get in the way of smashing... and general appeal (not saying chubby people aren't attractive! I'm chubby too, but in this particular case, it doesn't quite work!!). A one-night cuddle stand would be nice, but I wouldn't go further than that.

- Macho Man is an absolute character. He's got so much personality and spunk, I like his voice, his confidence, his half surfer persona... he's probably a poster child celebrity crush for most people in the PO verse. The thing is, I probably won't do anything long-term with him. This gray-haired, fake tan hoe is NOT loyal! He's surrounded with girls in most of his cutscenes... very, objectively beautiful ones... that sorta makes me think I, being the NOT rich, skinny Hollywood stereotypical beautiful girl I am, would either be out of his league or the first one he ditches. Basically, I'd love to at least cuddle with him and maybe have a breakfast date, buuuut I can't truly love him. He's a southern California boy, and I'm a northeastern girl.

- Piston Hondo is incredibly unproblematic. He's definitely loyal, has his values in place, he's got a great build, a handsome voice, he's strong... I absolutely see the sex appeal, Hondo fans. It's very high... but I don't think I would pursue him. I feel like if we were in a relationship, I wouldn't fully be comfortable. I feel like he'd expect a lot from me to live up to and to put it simply... he's way out of my league. Tbh, I wouldn't have a chance with ANY of these fictional boxers, but with Hondo especially, I feel like I'd be lying awake every night thinking, "He deserves soooo much better than me... I definitely did something wrong today..." So yeah, I'd almost smash, but I don't think I could commit to him. I know my reasoning is really dumb, but idk, I'd feel really nervous around him if we did become official. But damn, would he be a great cuddle partner... wonderful one night stand contender, too. Love ya Hondo, but you're TOO good, honestly.

- Our first smash! Disco Kid! Love Disco Kid... he's full of life and smiles, he dances through life like it's a party... he's good-looking, carefree, he dances, he's rich and successful, he's got a nice voice... and I absolutely love how he doesn't hold any hard feelings for Mac when he loses. He picks himself up and comes back swinging and having even more fun doing what he loves. That's so mature of him, and he's the youngest opponent you face (being 20 years old)... if everyone was like Disco Kid, the world would be a better place. There's one teensy weensy thing keeping him from the REAL baes... he's got endless energy. I feel like he'd be the type of guy that wants to party all night and then still be up for doing stuff with you the next morning. So yeah, I would love to smash with him, but nothing committed because I feel like he'd be too much for Lil introverted me.

-- And now, the top 5 baes 💜💜💜💜💜-

Don Flamenco 🇪🇸 🥀

- If you asked me what I thought of Don Flamenco when I first entered the fandom I would've been like "he's okay lol bros got that goofy ahh total drama headshape".... but now, I think Don Flamenco is a total bae. This man will shower you with attention and romance, he'll dedicate boxing moves in your name- he dances, he has a gorgeous twunk body, his voice and accent are absolutely gorgeous... Don is a dream boat. And the more I think about his story with Carmen, the funnier it is, because he takes it so seriously and goes full on emo... it's kinda pathetic, but in the best way possible. I love Don sm, and him being bald isn't a turn-off at all. Whether it's natural male baldness (that he's having at 23, oof) or if Carmen actually ripped it out of his scalp, or what not... I'd really just accept him for who he is. Isn't that what love is about? <3

Von Kaiser 🇩🇪 🔩

- There are sooooo many fucking sexy things about Von Kaiser... I have to just list them

- Absolute stud, body wise. Would 100% sleep on his chest. Also, he looks HOT ASFUUUUCK in that white tank top in his title defense cut scene!!! (You know the scene lol)

- I love his voice and accent, just like Don (voice means a lot to me, personally)

- I like that he has experience working with kids, bc as someone who also used to work with children, that's like- such a huge appeal, being able to have the maturity and ability to provide protection is so charming to me personality (I have mommy and daddy issues haha 🥲)

- Look, he's got obvious mental problems, but I kinda love him for that. It makes him deep, and it makes me root for him 10x more than I would for little Mac because I don't know what happened that messed him up... personally, I don't think it was a war, but perhaps it is some form of ptsd? I just wanna heal him... let us bang, but let me hold this man by the face and tell him he's amazing and worth it. Idfc if he's 42, he's a handsome, hurt dilf, and I want him.

Aran Ryan 🇮🇪 😈

- Listen y'all... Aran Ryan is problematic, and you shouldn't be with someone like him irl... but he's still really fucking hot. Do I have to explain it? The muscles, the red hair, the ever so slight stubble he has, his Irishness oozing from his voice (Irish people are biologically based and sigma, objectively. Source: I am 0.000262% Irish 🤓/hj). He could break my pancreas if he gets angry, but he's handsome, and I would thank him for it. And yeah, I kinda like the crazed attitude, sue me. Look, straight male mfs will argue how they could "fix" stereotypically beautiful fictional women but will freak out and cry "problematic" when women acknowledge how handsome Aran is. Fuck you straight men, I LOVE ARAN RYAN!!!!

Glass Joe 🇫🇷 🥐

- Do I gotta say anything? Glass Joe has got to be the cutest damn Nintendo character ever, and I mean every word of it. He is sooooo freaking adorable and sexy. Everything about him is either beautiful or cute. I love his hair, his eyes, his adorable French accent, this skinny build which differs and is unique from the other boxers... I love his simple, ordinary life. He chills, loves pastries, he loves his home city. And bro, that black sweater on him... too cute!! But he isn't a straight weakling either. Like, he's not the strongest, but he'd definitely try to defend you if you ever run into trouble. Dates with him would be the sweetest thing, and fucking with him? Utter bliss. I love you so much, Glass Joe. You deserve your fans and your online fangirls.

Great Tiger 🇮🇳 🐅 💜

- Great Tiger is the single most sexiest man ever placed into a Nintendo game. Fucking fight me... he has everything a perfect man would have. He has a gorgeous hourglass body, well groomed facial hair, that beautiful buttery voice (Great Tiger asmr when Next Level Games???), he sings, he dances, he knows magic (which objectively makes sex better, I would know, don't ask), he's powerful, but he's also got a sense of humor... Great Tiger is just perfect. He is absolutely top PO mareiage material, nevermind bae. His only crime is being a difficult fight.

[lavend-ler]

tips on how to write cane user Neuvillette from a crutch user

Neuvillette uses a cane - and that's amazing! but increasingly I got worried that the portrayal of him being a cane user could be based on harmful stereotypes. hence I wanted to make a list on tips I can give as an irl crutch user

DISCLAIMER - this is in no way exhaustive list and I am no end all be all authority on this. I'm just a disabled person in fandom who is tired of ableism. of course this list can be used for other disabled characters but I esp wanna focus on Neuvillette (cause I love him)

Neuvillette is an occasional cane user (just like me) and that's totally fine. he doesn't have to use it all the time to be "disabled enough". he probably uses it during the days he feels worse

he holds cane in his right hand - that means it's his left leg which needs support (again, just like mine!)

a lot of disabled ppl are prone to the changes in the weather. I think it'd be interesting to keep in mind esp in Neuvillette's case

as long as we don't have the canon confirmation on what is Neuvillette's disability, all hcs are fair game. personally bc I relate to him I hc him with my own disability - arthritis

don't be afraid to portray him using his cane in combat. mobility aids are often used by disabled ppl not only as a support in walking but also in every day things. for example, he could be pushing buttons with it or helping himself while walking the stairs

bend the ableist stereotypes - make him use his cane and be badass with it. esp since he proudly uses it during his burst

canes make ppl more visible. don't fall into ableism and make characters only care abt Neuvillette when they notice him using the cane. if u choose to do so, make Neuvillette remark back, noticing how ppl treat him differently and unfairly

do not make jokes abt his cane. I have already seen ppl make jokes that he's an old man who needs to use the cane. it's disrespectful and unnecessary. don't bring up him being a cane user only when u talk how he's old

canes are very personal. even if others offer help or to hold it, Neuvillette would be against it

on that note DO NOT MAKE OTHERS CHARACTERS TAKE HIS CANE esp if u want to treat this as silly fun or even worse, romantic. Neuvillette's cane is his business and any character taking his cane from him would be extremally disrespectful

Neuvillette might have to take breaks between longer strolls to sit down and regenerate. again, sth that happens to me a lot

tho every character in Genshin has to be quite active, remember to portray Neuvillette to be relaxing too! he can be badass, active and strong and that won't make him any less when he's relaxing. I absolutely suggest u portray how he relaxes after the day and how he takes care of himself. maybe a calming tea or some ice packs - those are definitely great options for chief justice to relax and ease his aches after an eventful day

HERE is another post that focuses on more on experiences of mobility aid users. I find it very relatable and useful, it's a fantastic further read

hope these will be helpful for u! ablebodies please don't derail. other mobility aid users, feel free to add more things to the list <3

[ferrocyan]

i’d love to hear more about honey and yaana’s friendship :3 and any honeytart tidbits that come to mind hehe i love them

hello my friend you sure are asking the most. questions here ily okay first of all. um i dont know if theyre friends actually. while yaana is definitely the type to make friends w everyone in arcadia honey to me is the opposite. shes guarded herself w her nice cute idol facade and doesnt rly let ppl in for the sake of her work. like the fun thing that made me want to write the chatfic was that i thought the way honey chats is like. if you take a screencap out of context theres no way to make her sound bad. i just know she would be thinking of it that way www but like i cant imagine talking w someone like that is fun

tart got lucky w honey in that way bc in their match her mask already slipped off and then they met outside of the arena so she didnt bother covering for herself haha. and the way he thinks of ppls facades too is like, thats also the real them, yknow. the way ppl think honey is just being fake when shes nice, tart thinks like no she is genuinely that nice and cute. and also kind of an asshole haha (honey imagines beating him to a pulp like that kabru wanting to beat up laios panel wwww)

however it must be said. theyre so fucked. i dont know how the story is going to treat sphenes passing and i just. cannot stop thinking abt that post abt how honey b lovely constructed her fake queen persona to be a hated heel and then it blows up in her face bc the audience loves her, and then it blows up in her face again when the real queen died like a week before the honey b lovely comeback match, and then it blows up a third time when she catches feelings for this motherfucker. a bitch CANNOT catch a break. im like actually dying saying this i am so not strong enough to write this head on but what do you think was going on when tart is intoxicated on her venom and calls her your majesty. it has never been more joever im afraid theyre fucked beyond belief (...unless?)

this is probably psychological horror for honey but tbh its also rly funny to me im sorryy shes gotta be looking at tart like the best case scenario is this guys using her as a rly unhealthy coping mechanism. and the worst case scenario is when the government resumes working in a few days or so this man will be on the news for committing regicide and the robocops will be at her door. its so fucked. and yet i dont think she can resist the sirensong of "this person wants to be friends w me for real" so i dont think she would just. cut off contact w tart and never speak w him again. its not like she has m.any friends otherwise haha.. ha.

anyway though that becomes the impetus for honey to contact yaana like hey you might wanna reconsider partnering up w souleater. i think hes hiding something and he might be bad news (she doesnt like. have proof that tart killed the queen. its probably just her paranoia talking. but better safe than sorry right?? right???). yaana at first doesnt rly believe her, and then she does but decides she doesnt care if tart is hiding something from her. but what she does care about is that apparently miss queen bee gives a shit about people around her! who knew :3c she teases honey so hard abt this and thats how they become friends to me hahahah

okay but despite all that (gestures above) i still do have a couple honeytart things i wanna write about ehehe theyre not the most cooked ideas but i still wanna get them out >w<

[dearweirdme]

Hi Rain!

So I have been an army since 2017 and I started shipping in like 2018-ish and I have an army twt and everything. But on my army twt I only have my army friends who believe shipping is for deranged ppl lol. I have had discussions with them about shipping and they hate shippers because they believe shippers objectify the members in a way. And almost all times I agree, especially when I see fans of other ships like jkk or larry or even jklisa. When I look at these ships, I definitely think that they only look at these ppl as a tool to satisfy their own void. Analysing every single behaviour is psychotic and they need to touch grass honestly.

BUT

I just cannot bring myself to think the same about tk. I like to believe I am definitely a sane tkkr (I know there are tons of delusional tkkrs). I am queer and most of my army friends are queer as well so we do joke about the members being gay and we do joke about tk as well but I will never be able to tell them I like tk (that I ship them). I do think there is something between them. I know I could be wrong and they could just be really close friends. The point is that my shipping has always been a secret in a way. I have never told any of my army friends this. If I did they would definitely think I am total weirdo since I have seen how they view shippers. I don't really have a twt for tk just bts as a whole so I have never really had any tkkr friends as well, I have just lurked here and there.

I wanna ask you do your irls or army friends (who are not tkkrs) know about your shipping? And how do you recognise delusional behaviour in other ships vs when it comes to tk? Cuz for me I could easily spot it other ships but sometimes I am afraid I am delulu when it comes to tk😭

Hi anon!

Well, I think there’s a difference between shipping and believing two persons are together. We use the term shipping/shippers for both those things, but it’s not the same although there can be some overlap. To me shipping is something like: enjoying the idea of two people together or thinking two people would be well suited. It does not directly mean that you think those people are actually together though. Believing without shipping is also possible. Personally, I am not a shipper in essence (though i do think Jk and Tae fit together well). When I came into this fandom it was for music, I love to see BTS perform… I still go through performance videos often. When I started to look at more other footage Tae became my bias.. but I wasn’t looking for someone to ship him with.. I rarely do that.. even in my life outside of fandom, I never connect two persons that way. But something about Tae and Jk just started to stand out to me. It was only after that, that I started to look into them more.. and well here I am believing that they might be a couple.

I think the only way to figure out if a ship is real or not is to look into it. Sometimes it’s very easy (the Liskook stuff for instance) and sometimes it takes a few more looks (Jkk, though I have little difficulty with that as well). But the difference between a ship and and a real relationship will always lie in the actual connection between two people. Most of the easily debunkable ships lack in the real connection part. It’s narrated by fans using similar clothes and jewelry for instance.. and other situational stuff. That is also why for some Jkk is harder to debunk, because it is clear that Jk and Jm do have a real close bond. So imo really looking into it (as a whole, within the context of everything around them) is necessary to understand if it’s real or not.

Now this is where you will lose all faith in me 😂 (it’s been good having you around anon!) because I do believe Harry and Louis were once together. I understand if you base your thoughts on that on Larry fandom these days that it all seems very farfetched and crazy. But, during 1d Louis and Harry imo did have that real connection I talked about before. In a way to me that is even more clear than Tae and Jk (their culture is similar to mine, and they were quite obvious). I do not believe they are together now though and probably haven’t been for a while.

We could be wrong about Tae and Jk. I could be wrong about Larry. We all deal with just tiny bit of information about their lives. But I also think it’s kinda crazy to think that two members of the same band cannot fall in love. Why couldn’t they? It is a unique situation for sure, but then again that is kinda why we are all here… we think we’ve spotted something special.

I don’t really speak to my irl friends about this. I’m 41 and for some reason people already find it weird that at this age I’d be a fan of BTS.. so I don’t really wanna let them steal my joy in Tkk. I have some Tkk friends around here who I talk to. And for me that is enough. I think.. that a reason why some of us don’t feel like we can share this is because we are made to feel ashamed of our thoughts. But believing in the love two people have for each other isn’t something we should have to be ashamed of. If anything.. Tae and Jk do love each other.. no matter to what extend that might go.

[my-castles-crumbling]

dancer anon here

reason for wanting to stay connected to being a girl: i feel good when i present feminine sometimes, I don't know why, while i dont feel like a girl or connected to that at all, i enjoy feeling pretty, and that kinda fuels the "cant not be partially a girl" because i like my feminine attributes (such as my breasts and eyelashes (i really like my eyelashes, they make me feel pretty)) but i tend to like my feminine attributes more when im alone and only /i/ can see myself and think "damn. im pretty today."

ballroom q: i tend to do more follower than leader now but i get to dance with my favorite dance teacher someitmes and shes really nice :D my favorite dance is paso doble (i do more latin ballroom than standard lol, but i do enjoy waltz the most out of standard dances lol (its the first dance i did with leader steps :DD)

correct pronouns: ik that its not really making a big deal to ask, but since im not out to many poeple outside of my friend group. i also dont want to correct my friends because im afraid it will reach someone outside of the group and theyre going to question it because in my school the majority of the students aren't really,,,, allies ig

neopronouns: have considered, didnt fit, so they/them is my go to because it is the one i feel the most comfortable with

confronting my friend: i do sometimes feel like confronting them about it, but its kinda scary because i hate confrontation because of the toxic friend i mentioned, so i dont think im gonna do anything about it (for now maybe?)

trauma: i am 97% sure i dont have any trauma relating to masculine people? however, my memory /is/ actually trash, so i could have just forgotten. the most likely thing that caused the fear would probably be the dance teacher with cold hands, because i hated his classes because they made me feel like dance is an obligation and i have to do everything /correctly/ even though i signed up because i enjoy dance. i also had to dance with him and his hands were cold and i dont like physical touch if im not initiating it (which is kinda why i dont dance with anyone anymore - a combination of physical touch, sweaty hands, and the close proximity. im even scared to dance with the little children i sometimes help dance with, because i dont know if they feel comfortable with physical touch which makes me feel icky)

also its not really something happened to me, its fear of something that /could/ happen (SA, etc)

also i still see that dance teacher around at the studio sometimes. he still scares me, but less? and when i talk to him sometimes, my brain tries to tell me im overexaggerating how much i dislike him, which i may be doing, but he /did/ ruin one of my favorite dances for me, so...

agender label: i do feel comfortable with the agender label, i believe, but ive never really met anyone else using it so i think i ust want to know ppl who also use it

you are also a wonderful human!!!

on another note, i am genuinely in tears thank you, you are so kind <3

Hello again!

So, there's four things I wanna address here:

With the pronouns/friends: Yes, it sounds like it might be a good idea to think more about the pros/cons of this. I still completely think that you deserve the respect of being gendered correctly, but if it's not safe for you to be pushing this,(secrets being shared, an unsupportive space, etc) then it might be a good idea to step back until it is safe to bring it up again. Remember though that you deserve to be supported and loved unconditionally and using your correct pronouns is something that should not be a burden to anyone.

Being agender: Have you considered finding people on here who identify similarly? It could be cool and validating to find a community of people who feel the same way. I know for me it was super exciting to find other nonbinary/genderfluid people.

Being touched: Okay, that makes sense. I definitely get not liking to be touched by people, especially people who give weird sensory input.

Ballroom: Oh, damn Paso Doble? I only know the very basics but it's SO different and cool! Respect <3

Lots of love!

[gurorori]

O, P, Q, for thé ask game if you dont mind me asking..

SUM OF Y'ALL PUTTIN' DA SAME LETTERS WAHHH I FEEL BAD!! alrdy answered Q so. we do a li'l scrollin?

anyway!!

O - Where would I like to travel?

travellin' (as a leisure? time? i guess) isn' smth i think ab a lot yet, save 4 in terms of immigration from. here. buuuut in my dreams really, i'd luv 2 travel 2 a few places 4 da cultural aspects.. namely ukraine, our.. half-homeland i guess, which we never actually been 2, but obviously uh. sumthin' sumthin'. nawt anytime soon, but i really wud love 2 reconnect with dat side, even if we don' have any contact with our ukrainian side of da family :[ i still want us b able 2 go there one day, specifically vinnitsa which is where our mother's side of da family was from.

apart from dat, i'd luv 2 go 2 japan — ok stay with me — but 'm deathly afraid of big cities (been 2 moscow & st petersbrug an' both times killed us badly) an' tokyo has like, da same population as moscow but much more population.. density? an' jus' seein' da amnts of ppl mkes me super nervous >_< i dream of goin' on a tour of like, shrines an' temples an' otherwise culturally significant stuff, as well as foooood. but ofc 'm willin' 2 put up with a bit of tokyo ONLY cuz of harajuku. i Will hit all da lolita stores. but really i'd luv a trip 2 japan jus' 2 experience da food & culture :3c an' i guess put our dusty musty japanese 2 da test?

nextttt morocco, ik dats.. unusual but dats where our mother's part of da family is Originally from, as they immigrated from there 2 ukraine.. (an' then our mother did, 2 russia.. gulp) an' she was born & raised in ukr, so she always kinda wanted 2 go back 2 morocco 2 at least experience it, but obv lack of funds etc. she always talkd ab it a lot an' stuff. kinda like we're the repeat of dat but with ukraine hehe? so, i wanna visit both if we ever have da chance 2.

P - What kind of music I like?

oghhhh well. bit all over da place but again do stay with me.. i think our very first music experience where we Knew wat we wer doin' & consciously wer seekin' out music 2 our taste was with the Holy Emo Trinity. yeah sorry 2 bring those memories back, none of em r even 'emo' exacly & hate bein' called it or wtv, but yeah n_n mcr, patd, fob... i think we wer into patd da most, ik i personally still am (system integration is a weird thing - i believe i merged w the previous host who was the one 2 discover all those, like, arnd the age of 11-13?).. a fever you can't sweat out (2004) by panic at the disco changed our entire life trajectory. i still have it as my #1 mika album of all time. i do have a lotta love 4 mcr too, fob we wer a bit less into, but yeah.

'm occasionally into pop-ish stuff, i like mika lots (also name twins :3), his voice & his art r spectaaaacular an' very unique an' him. he's so goodddd, his songs def helped us thru many stuffs jus' like da aforementioned bands. idk he jus' gets it, even the melancholic songs he writes (dat hit suspiciously close home >:0) r like DESIGNED 2 lift ya up i swear.

idk wat 2 define aurora as an' i wudn' really call her pop, she's a bit of her own character, especially here she's nawt exacly well known at all, but yeah i had 2 mention her. i don' think i ever connected with an artist on a deeper level than it was with her, largely due 2 her also bein' on da spectrum (it wasn' clear if she's adhd or asd but hey i can diagnose her.), like i see myself in her thoughts an' behaviors so much, da way she talks an' carries herself an' expresses herself in the art she creates. i genuinely Have Feelings 4 her she's so beautiful an' i can't stswp bein' obsessed w her & her music. da stories she weaves & da way she puts her emotions into lyrics is sooo special 'm Really happy 2 live in da same time as her. back 2 her bein' different like us, it really inspires me how unapologetically herself she is, like seein' a neurodivergent creator get Big (in sum parts of da world at least) an' thrive so visibly is astonishin'. i hope 2 attend her concerts one day :[ srry 4 da ungodly amounts of infodumpin' i doin' here but she means Dat much 2 me...

oh an' last but TOTALLY nawt least, 'm a huge goth, i luvvvv goth music so much, i guess a bit 'basic' but i really love the og styff, like siouxsie, bauhaus, the cure, joy division, sister of mercy etc.. i also luv 45 grave, the cramps, the birthday massacre, plastique noir, alien sex fiend, depeche mode, an' ugh SO much more i can't list it all 😭 i listen 2 a lotta goth is wat i can say.

oh an' 'm also a big fan of visual kei (as an extension of gothic lolita ofc...) but i mainly focus on malice mizer, as well as a few eroguro kei bands (which i rly enjoy as a genre too, who woulda thought...)

[youdontknowhowtodiequietly]

@aurisartblog (it won't let me tag you??? for some reason???) i saw you asking for elaboration in the comments but idk how long my response would be and i despise typing under comments (it's just so squished - don't ask) so here ya go!

TW! Spoilers for TGR (I will only be talking about things I picked up in this book because I did not annotate TSC), mentions of SA, because, of course there is, it's these two.

To start off with: Jean is so aggressively loyal.

BUT

His aggression and violence is controlled. Idk if you saw the post someone made about Andrew never being out of control, even when others think he is, and I 100% stand by that and it's the same thing with Jean. We all saw how controlled he has been with everything - the game, practices, when ppl piss him off in general - but when it comes time where that aggression is needed to protect his people, it comes out in a measured dose that doesn't intend to seriously harm, but to get someone to back down. Like how a dog will give you a nip, or a cat will swat at you, to get you to back off? Yeah, like that.

Which leads me onto the dog thing.

Now, we're all aware of how Andrew is referred to as Kevin's guard dog, or something of the likes, with the leash and other metaphors. Well, Jean's is not so outwardly named, but he does display dog-like behaviours - especially an obedient one, even if that obedience has been abused into him.

For example, on page 13/14 (Kindle): "As usual, Jean finished first and went to wait on the bench near Jeremy’s locker." Tell me that is not a dog waiting obediently for its "owner" (not saying at all that Jeremy owns him, he does not, but Kevin did not own Andrew, so...) And going back to the whole control thing? If Jeremy said "bite", Jean would. It is Jeremy (and Rhemann, and his contract, but mainly Jeremy and Jean's fear of disappointing him) that keeps Jean at bay (most of the time - technically with Bryson Jeremy didn't say "go" but he also didn't put up much of a protest. I'm sure if Jeremy had been more confident and less afraid of his brother, he could have stopped Jean. But also, sometimes a guard dog will bite even if it isn't told to if it's owner(s) are in danger, and Jeremy and Laila were).

Another quote, which kind of made me really think "hmm, this guy is kind of a parallel to Andrew!" is one quote on page 335: "It makes you more interesting" after Jeremy insults the Bobcats. And quote on page 226 "Stop looking at me like that." (though I didn't realise how Andrew-like it was until I started writing this) are both almost exact copies of what Andrew has said - I think Andrew says "Interesting" to Neil once in the first trilogy? But I haven't read the books in yonks.

Also, just, the poker faces (though Jean's is less "I'm bored" and more, "I could not care less about anything going on"), how they're both so accepting yet filled with rage at what has happened to them (e.g., page 350 "I don’t care. It doesn’t matter. Then why did he want to scream until his throat bled?").

The fact that they are both victims of rape, yet believe that they would never get a true prosecution for their abusers (I'm sure that's why Andrew never spoke out, not just because he was trying to move on, but he knows how low the rates are of rapists getting prosecuted for women, and he no doubt made the connection that it would be even less between two men, even if it was CSA), and Jean doesn't really express this but I'm sure it's a thought.

And I don't doubt Andrew struggled to come to terms with his sexuality after everything that happened to him, and though it isn't the same as what happened to Jean, his struggle with his own attraction is similar.

If we were to get a POV of Andrew, and I were to read TSC again, I would probably be able to make more comparisons.

I hope you enjoyed anyways, and feel free to add to this if you wanna (anyone, btw, not just the person I tagged and am replying to) and sorry if it's a little incoherent, most of my posts usually are lmao.

everyone talks about the parallels between jean and neil, the misplaced forever partners, but no one talks about the parallels between jean and andrew

[kaitlynnlauryenn]

I don't understand. I talked with my boyfriend yesterday & I told him all the fears & anger I had towards him.

My frustration towards being so miserable all the time & being completely consumed by our relationship.

How hard it is for me to connect with him because the things that frustrate him & upset him make me mad at him.

I can still barely get through my day without feeling as if it's my fault for being kicked out.

That if we didn't date then maybe I wouldn't have torn my family apart for being an abusive environment when they all tried so hard to create communication & community with each other & I couldn't.

Then maybe I'd have a car rn & be in an apartment not stressing & worrying about how I am gonna get another job because I cannot afford to live if I don't get one.

I wouldn't be at my bf's parents house hiding because I've been on social media all day & haven't eaten & just want to smoke a fucking cigarette & I am embarrassed & don't want to be seen smoking by my bf's younger brother. (who knows I smoke & has seen me already)

The conversation I had with my bf yesterday gave me so much relief & freedom. Being able to communicate openly & not be judged or for him to be angry at me.

Especially because I was telling him that the things that anger me are the same things that other ppl struggle to talk with him about & I know that he really tries.

Like he is literally just autistic & he's finding out as an adult.

Same as I am with my ADHD, even though I've suspected this for years.

Like things that are hard to understand about myself come from expecting SO MUCH FROM MYSELF.

But every time I think about expecting less it means I am incapable in all facets of my life.

It's like the veil of my misery being my fault is falling, but also not really because I am the only one who can heal myself & take off this weight that wants to stay here.

I am so fucking doneeee.

I wanna be brave.

I wanna face the things I am afraid of & give myself confidence & compassion & support but I am just drowning in self pity & misery.

I've literally spent all day avoiding this melt down & I am still having it.

I don't want to cry anymore. I don't want to be DISTRAUGHT, like so distraught that you can see in my face & my eyes that I am miserable.

You know how faces tend to sit & rest in the position of whatever emotion you are feeling?

Like yes, you can hide a feeling & pretend to be happier or more content than you are, but you can always see the real emotions someone feels in their eyes. Or when they rest their face. Like you really can't hide.

And when you feel MASSIVELY DISTRAUGHT like 85% of your day on a regular basis it shows.

When you look at me you can see my pain.

People used to tell me that I always looked so happy & that I glowed & was so pretty.

Fucking no one says that to me anymore. Nobody. The customers from my job can see it.

Old fucking white men take it up on themselves to try & make me smile more or brighten a face that feels so dark. I am so fucking ashamed.

My distraught robs me of my freedom to move & do anything.

Learn, pick up new skills, motivate myself in a way that brings in positive interactions or people, or opportunities.

Like what you put out you get back. I know this fr. I've seen it happen to me. Over & over. In positive ways too. In a lot of positive ways actually.

It makes me feel so guilty for projecting such horrid pain & anger & anguish.

I want to be done healing.

I want to feel stable.

I want to eat because not eating only makes this pain I feel so much worse & intense.

I want to be able to navigate interacting with people who I know I don't agree with or who don't agree with me & not feel the need to disintegrate.

I want to speak up when I am mad or feel mistreated or disrespected.

I want to not be in complete distraught every day all day.

I want to feel free & comfortable to eat & to EATTTTTT.

I want to stop making everything I need to do for myself into Mount Everest.

I want to relax & let go of all the things pounding in my head so that I can recharge.

I want fucking peace.

[sparklingpax]

HIIIII following a recent question I got (keep lookout for another post like this answering the other one sometime in the future, y'all 😌), I'm taking this opportunity to Finally explain specifics & thoughts I have about how Landiver works as a ship in my mind, why I ship them etc. No it's not justification because I will not be Not shipping these idiots anytime soon, Landiver and Ginhawk are two of like six total ships from all my fandoms that live rent-free and undebatably permanently in my mind thanksss <3

and so yea on that note, any of yall reading this don't have to agree with everything I say!! (Pls don't tell me what you disagree with tho I'm not gonna stop you from thinking what you will and all opinions are valid esp in the realm of like, fan-interpretation of fictional characters, but I am so full of anxiety I will be afraid and scared; I am just begging, don't point out what you don't agree with just leave me beeeeee)

I also realize a lot of this is my personal interpretations of them, which may or may not be entirely accurate (tho to be fair, we only rlly did get glimpses of who the pretenders rlly are as ppl, considering how plot-heavy a series it was; I'd say Hawk got the most attention in terms of that and even he doesn't get as much expansion as I'd have liked 😭) so....there's a lot of room for said interpretation imo.

But yea anyway, I'm talking purely canon Landiver (not gonna get into my AU anytime soon because it's relatively similar to this with more focus on different details bc they have different pasts and such in that....so yea)

Without further ado, my rambles are below the cut. Apologies for any grammatical errors, I typed this on my phone on the bus going home and while laying on my bedroom floor 😭✨

Enjoy! :']

///

I think they work as a ship for a bunch of reasons (I'm only gonna mention some of my thoughts about this because I don't wanna go on for too long 😳)!!!!!

One, their personalities being somewhere in the middle of "opposites" and "the same." Like not "yin and yang" kinda thing but they're also not the same type of person either. Lander might be more confident, talkative, and quicker to get emotional/heated about things compared to an exponentially more easy-going and level guy like Diver. But Diver isn't shy or unemotional, and he is most certainly confident in himself. Both of them Give 0 fucks™ but in different ways, I guess. In that regard, I feel like they also mix very well personality-wise. Lander is more interested in doing the talking, the ranting, etc. Diver says what he needs to in shorter ways in general, prefers listening and making input here and there, chuckling while Landmine fumes about some guy at work. However he might also be slightly more wordy when talking to Lander. Conversely, Lander might be more chill and show the "softer" sides of himself with Diver, the side that loses that usual "cool, confident, smooth guy" composure for example. Fumbles up his usual fast-paced talk because he's distracted w the guy in front of him (when they're in a mostly romantic mood, that is) Lander is certainly more organized and can be a little uptight about things going as they were planned to, whereas Diver (like me lmao 😭) is kind of just perpetually confused a little bit, and just going with it. But see, it doesn't seem that way because he always has this look about him that says to the outside world that he's got this and he is not fazed. He forgets stuff a lot, spaces out, dozes off, etc. Lander's got his back with that tho ✨

Diver isn't as emotional as Lander, so he's a great touchstone for Lander to center himself when he starts to panic or flip out about something. And he only lets himself do that with Diver because he feels like he can. And, being with Lander for so long has encouraged him to express himself and be emotional in his own way more often than before they met. Slowly, over time.

They have different interests for the most part, and aren't going to pretend they want to adopt every single one of each other's interests, but they have a mutual understanding of that, and enjoy the difference in tastes. So they just let each other be. Little things like: Lander's a city person, Diver's a nature guy. Lander prefers style and flashiness, Diver just wants what works, and doesn't mind. Lander is watching like five different dramas at once when he's not working his day job or out on missions, and Diver enjoys reading more (which might be because he's out on be boat or busy doing lots of really hands-on work with aquariums and such for his day job, spending less time than his partner does in an office doing paperwork). Diver will easily take a beer over an expensive wine Lander might've found, and Lander likes finer-quality alcohol, but both would be willing to have the other thing if they're hanging out together and one really wants to have their thing that night. And, they both love a good fistfight, enjoy physical touch as a primary (Diver) or secondary (Lander; his primary is actually gift-giving) love language, drinking, and collect cassette tapes together ✨

Also quick aside, but I HC they chose human bodies that put them around mid-to-late-40s. This is interesting because for example, Hawk has a body that puts him at like 23 (yes specifically 23 don't ask 😳) in human years, and Phoenix is mid-30s. Then we have the other humans characters who are actually just their age (Ginrai is 19, etc...) However, in Cybertronian years, the Pretender team are relatively like the same age, give or take a [cybertronian] year. This is another reason they are so easily connected in a way, because both in human years and cybertronian, they're around the same age, but especially as humans, they'd be not rlly old or super young. Idk how to describe it properly but maybe you know what I mean?? 😳

They are also incredibly playful with one another--always have been. Like, lowkey harassing one another (affectionately) and constantly joking around/making witty quips back and forth in their way, with a specific type of energy no one else has. In fact, they have energies that match in a way where they are as they always have been: like old friends. No one else quite gets it. They're just....a pair. Always together, which I feel like even in the anime you see them fooling around together and perpetually side by side. (Take that one bit where Diver grabs Lander and like ruffles up his hair....i love their vibe sm 😭✨)

They never descend into a serious argument because even their constant "bickering" isnt really bickering at all and more just making comebacks at one another over something on which they disagree, until one bursts into laughter and the other follows.

[Landiver in general is a whole different vibe to say, Ginhawk, both having intimately sweet moments but in very different ways.]

They are more than willing to bring it up when they don't like something/have something to talk about, not worried even for a moment what the other will think, because it will always be the safest place to simply talk it out amongst themselves. They would be hard-pressed to trust anyone else when either have somth serious to discuss. Maybe (hard maybe) Phoenix, since he's usually hanging out with those two when he's around (which is just not that often at all, I'll get into that in the other thread haha) and is somewhat a close friends...but usually it's just Lander and Diver. However even s, they rarely ever have to because they don't really have lines to cross with each other...they do not hold back when goofing around in their definitely shared sense of humor 😭💀✨

Also, I feel like it took them an extremely long time to actually formally get together just because...like, they've always been together anyway, but didn't really know how to go about,,, relationships in the official sense--if that was even something they wanted. It was on and off and on and off again for a while, Lander and Diver trying other relationships with other people for a long time (especially in the period of time after being separated to the different parts of the country once Lander got his new job over in New York and left where he'd been with Diver, again a whole separate thing I have HCs for which I touched on in my "In Relativity" fic; on that note I wanted to mention in both my AU and in canon, I HC Lander as bi and Diver as gay ✨). But they always found it didn't really....connect. over and over, both of them coming back together but not really being sure what it even was they had...and then something happens where it just clicks, and they realize, that...there isn't really anything else they should do. They do belong beside one another. They can be true only with each other, because when they are together, they are "home." As friends in a deeper, more intimate sense of that. Partners....lovers. But always friends, because they both think the whole relationship labels thing puts a wrench in the vibes. It's just very complicated to explain for them, but there's never been any kind of malice or struggle between them other than coming to the final conclusion how the answer has always been in front of them. They've known each other for centuries in our human terms, and they know they've been together forever in a sense, but sometimes it feels like they've known each other even longer.

(When they finally, formally got together, Ginrai and Phoenix just nodded to one another, like they've been waiting for this for ages, and Phoenix playfully punches Diver, who just starts laughing. Hawk, the other godmasters and the kids, are all just happy for the two)

(⁠◍^w^◍⁠) 💗✨

[kalinawtokilig]

S/O who gets into fights

Pair(s) : Sugawara Koushi x Reader, Yaku Morisuke x Reader, Akaashi Keiji x Reader, Iwaizumi Hajime x Reader, Semi Eita x Reader 

Ohoh, boi good luck. 

Summary: 

It’s not uncommon for you to get into a fight, as you don’t look nor act the type. You don’t ask to get into a fight nor provoke, you simply attract trouble, (Oh, a problem child,,) But if this person (or people) are talking smack about you, you bet your bum that you’re gonna sit down and let them. Nah, you put’em up. Warning? You ARE the WARNING. 

Sugawara Koushi x Reader

((I love and pimp him. Pimp pimp pimp)) 

He hears it from Yachi. More like, the team does and Nishinoya and Tanaka are ready to throw some hands.

During practice, Yachi, the sweet girl, poor her; she sees you having an intense argument with two other third years when she comes to refill on water bottles. 

She knows you, talking to you a couple of times. You were always a sweet upperclassman, kind and soft to her and the team, even Kageyama and Tsukishima showed you respect in your presence. 

But when one of them swung the first punch to your face, you bet she dropped everything and hauled ass to the gym to call over your boyfriend. 

Sugawara. Ah, yes, the duality of this man. I would say unpredictable, cause some say he’s the responsible type to stop the fight by finding a teacher and others say he’ll unleash Tanaka and Nishinoya. 

I say, he’s the type to KNOW who you are and WHAT you are capable of. Yes, he can join in the fight, but last time he saw you fight someone he was unaware and baffled that you are able to land solid one punch (( WANNA BE SAIKYU HEROOO)) and knock’em out. Nah, he’s the type to collect the aftermath and try to bury the evidence ((What a sweet boyfie <3 )) 

“Suga-san! (Y/N)-san i-is in a fight a-and I think they need help!” She screeches, catching the attention of the team members. 

“Ah, I’ll be back. Gotta collect the corpses.” 

Asahi, Hinata, and Yachi nearly pass out when he says that. “Corpses? (Y/N)-san killed them that quick? And Sugawara is the accessory???” 

When he finally reaches you, though he knows you’re capable of standing your ground, he can’t help but worry the bruises and cuts on you. You may be able to keep standing, but that doesn’t mean you can avoid ALL their hits. 

When he sees your figure, his fingers dig deep into his palms. “(Y/N)?” He calls out to you. You’re huffing and you straighten your back, turning to face him you smile lovingly to him. “Yes, Darling?” 

He may simp for you but that doesn’t mean he can’t lecture you. 

Sighing, he crouches to the two fools who decided to provoke you and talks to them in that tone where you can’t speak because you’re scared of what they’re capable of. He says that he’ll be watching them closely and that if they mention their S/O beating them up, not only will they all get suspended but Sugawara will make sure they’ll never face pride or regain their HONOR back. (ayye zuko wassup ?) 

Standing up, he looks to you and holds your hands as gingerly as possibly, observing the irritated redness on your knuckles and the splotches of small red bloody dots. His nose scrunches cutely as one hand lets go of yours to cup your face carefully because of the now forming bruise on your pretty face. 

Sighing, he smiles, brows furrowed, “Sugar, next time, go easy on them. I don’t want your pretty hands to be so messed up. I love you and I don’t mind bandaging them up and kissing them to make you feel better, but I feel the more you punch the more your hands’ll fall off. Then who am I supposed to hold hands with?”

You can’t help but crack a joke, “Ah yes, losing Daichi and me in the same year, my poor Darling~!” You coo to him. 

“You’re lucky you’re cute.” 

“Oi!” 

Yaku Morisuke x Reader

((Babie,, cat babie ,,, dangerous babiee,,)) 

While the fiery, third-year, libero of Nekoma dislikes Lev, you absolutely cherish the tall boy and found him cute.

Kuroo makes fun of Yaku saying you should date Lev instead

then you retorted to the rooster head saying that it’ll be weird cause Lev is basically a little brother you’ve always wanted.

One day, after school, while your boyfie was at practice, you were on cleaning duty and overheard some students talking about your two favorite people.

They made fun Lev and then Yaku. They absolutely insulted him for his height and his plays while they made fun of Lev’s intelligence and lack of plays. 

And they chose D E A T H 

“Hah? Whatcha say?!” 

Commence a brawl 

You could’ve used the broomstick by breaking it in half and shanking them but you wanted them to know not to die JUST yet.

You were able to leave satisfied yet still pissed. The other students didn’t speak a peep, as to know not to mess with your temper and if they were a snitch, well, snitches get popped. 

for the ones who talked smack, you both came to the conclusion to say that you guys were playing too rough with the cleaning supplies 

When practice was over, you waited by the gate for your boyfie 

Seeing him, you smiled at him and he came up to you, flicking your jaw

“Ow! Love, what was that for? You’re not give your soldier a loving and tender hug for defending you and our child’s honor?” You pouted cutely to him. 

His eyes widened a bit,  a pink blush on his face until he squinted his eyes at you. “You got into a fight, again.”

“All in good nature, babe!” You stuck out your tongue to him, surprisingly he stuck out his tongue, to lick you with his own. 

“Wha-”

“As much as I love you, you’re lucky that I wasn’t there or I would’ve killed you too to get rid of the evidence.”

“...Aw! You love me so much that you’ll clean my messes, I love you too, Morisuke!” 

“...I love you too, you frickin idiot.” 

Akaashi Keiji x Reader

(Ayyeee back at it again, Akaashi-kun, how ya doin?) 

Akaashi may be a patient man, but this man can hold his patience with a sharp knife and cut it instantly 

It was your movie date and while you waited for Akaashi to get popcorn and snacks, your saw one of your best friends. 

You went up to say hi until you heard them talk bad about you, saying how Akaashi is only dating you to keep an eye on you or how you’re too naive that they obviously don’t want you cause you’re too clingy

with the cold, freezing, slushie, you ‘accidentally’ trip and spill it all over your now ex-bestie

like your bestie, that two-faced bih doesn’t go down without a fight

so basically this was your break-up fight

As he bandages your hands, you were too nervous to speak to him

You weren’t afraid of anything, not failing, not teachers or authority, nor suspencion

Though, you were very afraid of Akaashi’s silent temper

“Ah, Love-”

Pretty boy looks at you so quick you flinch for the upcoming lecture yet he says nothing which makes it even more scary for what he’ll say

“Are you mad at me?” You ask cutely, pouting and looking through your lashes while your head is down in shame

After a couple of minutes waiting for his answer, he sighs

“Blossom, you know how concerned I get when you get into fights. It...” He looks away, “hurts me to see you hurt...I love you a lot that I’m mad at myself that I wasn’t there to help you.” He confesses with a red tint spreading to the tips of his ears. 

Oh dear LORD this man continues to speak heavenly got ME swooning- 

“I should’ve known that friend of yours wasn’t true to you...I’m sorry I couldn’t see that. If you want, we can have Kenma pirate the movie and send us the link. Better than going out, right?” 

((THIS MAN HAS THE AUDACITY TO SMILE LIKE A FRICKIN GOD AHW I HATE IT HERE))

Your eyes sparkle and you launch to hug him, he lets out s strangled yelp as he falls back onto the bed 

Though easy to get into fights, you were easy to cry, as you were emotional to these kinds of things

“AGHAAHHSHI I LOVE YOU I FRICKIN HATE YOU CAUSE YOURE SO PERFECT UWAYWHH” ((omg me))

Chuckling, he buries his head into the crook of your neck, one hand on your side and the other petting your hair

“I love you too, blossom” 

Iwaizumi Hajime x Reader

((YEES YES YES YES I  STAN AND I PIMP ,, PIMP PIMP PIMMP))) 

((LOOK AT HIM LOOK AT. HIM.)) 

What a cactus. Don’t we stan? 

I stan. I totally stan. 

When you get into a fight this man KNOWS he’s most likely gonna watch to see if there is any bih to try to hit you while you’re busy fUCKING UP WITH OTHERS WHO MESSED WITH YA

Iwaizumi is literally the chillest ngl 

Will probably join if some CUNT ASS BIH  decides to pull ya hair or pick up some petty stick to beat you with it

((the more i write at 4:30 AM, the more my mind expands to more fight scenarios ohohhhh get ready my friends)) 

Literally the toughest couple

no cap, no one will mess with you unless they’re tryna get f’d in the a in the most unpleasurable way (omg that rhymes) 

Oikawa makes funny and teasing jokes about how you both look so intimidating that you’ll get wrinkles on your faces

“Keep barking, Oikawa, cause I can make sure my kicks can knock off that bitchy attitude <3″

“Why are you and Iwa-chan like this.” 

“Lmao get wrecked Trashykawa.”

Sometimes you act like Oikawa’s guard too, the fans know of your rep around school, so they don’t bother Oikawa as much which means Iwaizumi doesn’t have to spike volleyballs at his head so they can head to practice without any distractions ((Though Iwa still does it when Oikawa gets too flirty when thanking you)) 

Omg I can go forever with Iwa holleeeeemolleee 

I feel,, that when he’s bandaging up your face, your cleaning the cuts on his....chest.... n’ biceps,,,oof to be you... 

I feel like getting into fights can also count as a date

how fun would that be

talking about your fight date with him in front of other ppl who don’t really know you

I imagine you and iwa-babes talking and you’re like, staring so lovingly at his face and reach to touch the cut above his lip and you’re reminiscing 

“Babes, remember when we fought those two losers at the parking lot of a Target?”

“Oh yeah, I remember that. That dickbag got his ass handed to you, nice right hook by the way.”

Then the strangers RUDELY overhearing are like ‘Wth??? is this?? real?? did they actually fight two people?’

You did.

Oikawa posted it.

Semi Eita x Reader

((Grey haired babes hit different, y’know?)) 

he’ll just be >:|

I can’t say he’ll be mad at you, but more like, concerned that his face looks mad

The same with Akaashi, you’re waiting for him to lecture you, but he’s quiet when he’s...worried,,concerned

You got into a fight because some BIHS from another sports team talked shit about the volleyball team, SPECIFICALLY your boyfie (how convenient for the plot) 

You may be smol but you have HELLFIRE

“AYE WANNA SAY IT TO MY FACE MUTHA-”

Long story short,,, you may have won the battle, but you are unsure if the war will reign supreme, by war I mean you’re preparing for Semi’s scolding

Waiting in his dorm room, you played the soundtrack he made for you and patiently waited until he came back from practice

When HE DOES come from practice, he opened the door to see you sleeping on the floor, back against his bed and when he was going to quietly coo at how cute you look, he gets a closer look at the split lip and bruised knuckles

...You have...a tampon shoved up your nose? 

“Muse. Bubs.” He cups your cheek, then patting it gently. 

When you wake up, you jump back

“BUBs, beh, listen, I, may have done something to someone out of provocation and insults whereas I also defended not only myself-” You wince at he narrows his lovely eyes at you, peering for you to go on (omg you frickin simp)

“I have protected you and your team from their,, falsehoods”

(Why are you talking like that lmao)

He blinks once. twice. going to his bathroom, he gets the first aid kid he ALWAYS had to restock because his babes CANT STOP GETTING INTO FIGHTS so he can patch you up 

“I love you, but we can take their idiocy, it’s just your idiocy I’m worried about...” He continues on, then he starts to listen to the music you’re playing

you’re playing one of his playlists he made for you

specifically, “When I’m with You <3″

He becomes flustered and you wonder if HE’S okay 

“Sh-Shut up, stupid! Stop getting into fights!” 

[well-its-not-human-anymore]

Touch starved/ hurt reader - hcs or scenarios the turtles? Reader super cool regarding friendship, like funny and open etc etc, but if someone tries to do anything that implies a bit more regarding romantic stuff they are kinda like oop- no. Reader is kinda jumpy and just freezes when someone’s they like does any kind of affection ( blushes a lot, try to run away and avoid those situations) people have taken them for granted which has make them a bit cold and defensive in that area- they want to be more affectionate ( which they know deep down it’s what they crave) but it’s kinda they are a scared / angry cat? Please, hope this makes sense, thank you

( also regarding looks and gender I think you can go with they/them so everyone can see a look but if themselfs in the scenario, and if you are going to any kind of skin ship, make the reader extremely defensive over their arms and tummy pls, I do love hugs but if anyone touches my hips I’ll try to get away so fast omg sbbtjfjdkdksn and I will just close off momentarily, I absolutely hate it, I’m more on the heavy side ( talk and chubby ) and if anyone’s touches the “giggly” parts I get extremely upset ( because of how ppl havemade fun of it over the years) and I think the boys would be very “??? What?” To that reaction cuz they didn’t think it was some thing bad to have? ( like a more soft and chunky/chubby body) because they haven’t been exposed long enough to society’s judgment or beauty standards ( I mean they know about! The ones who would have read more about it maybe it’s Leo and Donnie, but what I mean maybe they have never experienced something like this - themselfs irl) Eitherway this ask is already so long omg I’m sorry and thank you, if it’s too much you don’t have to do it, have a good night/ day!)

Okay first of all I love you and I would die for you. You are a perfect human being and there is literally no one else like you. Your body does a damn good job of keeping all of your organs in place and that's what matters. If anyone tells you different you rock their absolute shit.

And don't worry, I understood the request perfectly so no worries on that, I've got a similar body type except I'm really short. But I'm also super defensive over being touched or having those parts of my body perceived, so trust me when I say you're not alone. We be vibing with this together.

Now to the writing!

TMNT Headcanons

Boys reacting to a touch starved/defensive reader

Michaelangelo

Look man, our boy here is body positivity central, he thinks you look amazing and he wants everyone to know it

As far as you two go he's your best friend, your homie, your main man

So of course he's gonna wanna show you off, why wouldn't he?

He doesn't think you'd have a reason to not be okay with it, you've always been playful with him and his brothers

So obviously there's some widespread confusion once Casey gets tossed into the mix

All Mikey had done was reach behind him and snag you by the waist to pull you over

That was all

The words "and this is my best friend, y/n" never got the chance to leave his mouth

He was definitely not expecting you to squeak out in protest and scramble away from him as fast as humanly possible

Your face was burning red and you were clutching your sides, desperately trying not to bare your teeth in defence

Mikey couldn't help but feel heartbroken

Was there something wrong with him?

You sent Casey an unenthusiastic wave before turning on your heel and basically running out

Leaving a very confused orange turtle behind you

When he finally managed to catch up to you later you rushed to explain why you'd reacted the way you did

You couldn't stand his expression when you explained that no- you didn't think he was disgusting and no, he hadn't done anything wrong.

But he did seem baffled at you telling him that it was because you hated being touched there.

"Look Mikey, I've got no problem with the whole contact thing but you gotta give me a warning or something before you go around grabbing me. Okay?"

He was 100% fine with that

Anything to make you comfortable

But you both got to the point of being able to laugh at your reaction to the turtle trying to hold your hand

"Seriously Michaelangelo, I have a reputation to maintain. How am I supposed to do that when you're giving me feelings?"

Donatello

It completely baffled him

By all accounts it didn't make sense

You threw around compliments like you were playing hot potato and for whatever reason you'd always find someway to playfully flirt with him

But the second one of his brothers suggested something other than the innocent friendship the two of you had you would shut down completely

And coincidentally those types of comments were made at the most inconvenient times

Nothing screamed awkward more than you going stone cold and standoffish over a piece of pie

Bubbly and excited one moment, tossing around those positive affirmations to your favorite people

And staring murderously at an inanimate object the next

You were like an unsolvable rubix cube to him

But he was determined to figure you out

"Y/N?"

You didn't appear to be busy, just sitting on the haphazard bunk in your makeshift area with a book in your lap

The others had gone out on patrol and you weren't sure where Splinter was at that particular moment which left you and Donnie holding down the lair until they got back

The perfect time to approach the subject

"Hey y/n? Can I ask you something?"

His voice always got a little louder when you were alone, less afraid of being overheard. You looked up with a smile

"Fire away Dove."

His cheeks flushed in surprise

"uhhhhh... whydoyounotlikeme?"

You set your book down and leaned forward to stare at him

"Elaborate."

And he did, god he did, he did it at the speed of sound of course, but you caught every word

let me tell you, this boys heart broke for you when you told him that you did like him

you really really did

but the thought of being romantically involved with anyone made you shut down

Donnie assured you that it was fine

he'd wait for you as long as you needed

Raphael

Look, Raph knows a thing or two about being self conscious

out of all of his brothers he's the one who worries about his appearance the most

but you- holy shit he thinks you're the most amazing, perfect human in the world

so when he finds out that you hate being touched and that thinking about relationships makes your skin crawl he doesn't know whether to genuinely cry for you or punch someone in the mouth

both is okay

You'd always been very bold with your words and sometimes you'd even joke that you couldn't even tell when you were flirting with him

it just slipped out

and hearing that even though you could pull that off as easy as breathing and compliment all of them endlessly but you struggled to be comfortable in your own body?

that was a lot to unpack in one sitting

but the longer he sat with you and listened to you talk him through it the more he understood

sure, it was horrible

and he wouldn't likely stop thinking about hurting the people who'd done this to you (there'd be too many to count)

but you had a way of making him understand things

it was his favorite thing about you

"Uh- you know y/n, I uh- personally I think you look great. Like- all the time."

plz insert awkward finger guns here

there, your playful smirk was back and you were wiggling your eyebrows at him

"Awhhhh... is that Raph I see having feelings?"

Leonardo

he'd done enough listening and reading to know how society treated people who it thought was different

and he hated that you'd had to experience that for most of your life

when it came down to it and he saw that you had become particularly hard on yourself he took it upon himself to check in with you

that's how you'd started meditating with him

and you'd found it quite relaxing if you were completely honest

Leo told you that meditation was the best way to connect with your body and understand it

you hoped that in time you would understand what he meant by that

but the positive affirmations were doing something, so you'd take it

he'd always encourage you when you couldn't yourself

and always jump to your defense when the others got a little to out of bounds with their words

you still would noticeably flinch when touched without warning

they were all working with that

and he still found himself saddened that you'd recoil back into your protective walls if anyone mentioned anything inherently romantic

but you were coming around

and he was endlessly proud of you for that

Alright I hope I was able to get down what you were thinking. This one definitely took the most contemplating out of any of the requests I've gotten so I hope you like it!

[moonlit-imagines]

Headcanons for being Tony Stark’s stepkid

Tony Stark x Potts!child!reader

warnings: alcohol mention

a/n: i rushed these so bad i just wanted to post dhhshsnsna

prompt: y/n is pepper’s kiddo!

it was just you and your mom for a long time

pepper and y/n potts

she couldn’t keep up with you sometimes, too busy dealing with the manchild that was mister anthony edward stark

speaking of—

“uh, who’s this?” -tony, pointing at you

“mr. stark, i am so sorry, the school closed because some kid set fire to the science lab and i didn’t have time to find a sitter—”

“no, it’s fine, no need to apologize. hey, kid, you wanna sit in the boss’s chair? i’ll let you run the company for the day!” *cue you nodding* “sweet, would you mind that, ms. potts?”

“oh? no, not at all” *mouthing* “thank you”

“so, uh, what’s your name? no, don’t tell me: ketchup.”

*giggling* “y/n”

“no way! that was my second guess!”

tony wasn’t used to being around kids

he had no idea that he was actually kind of good around them

despite a few minor hiccups

“you sit in my chair and im gonna spin you around, sound like fun?”

he spun you around WAY too fast and you were diiiiizzy, also you fell off the chair

“don’t tell your mom that we did that. she may be my assistant, but she scares the shit out of me. also, don’t say ‘shit’”

dude he just thought you were a cool kid!!!

“hey, you know, ms. potts, you dont really need to hire a babysitter anymore. y/n’s doing just fine hanging out here”

“how am i not surprised you befriended an actual child?”

she still took him up on his offer, you seemed pretty happy

when your mom worked late, you passed out in tonys office

tony and you had your own little secrets (like falling off the spinning chair), tony showed you around stark tower, and you practically lived there

“i got you a happy meal from mcdonalds!” -tony every day after your school

in all honesty, you weren’t the “popular” kid at school...not even close

but tony made up for it

“y/n! i found this old racecar toy in a box of old stuff, you wanna hold onto it for me?”

you kind of grew up in stark tower tbh? it was pretty cool

and as you grew up, you started to notice more

“mr. tony, do you have a crush on my mom?”

“do i what? no, no, i do—who the hell am i kidding? you caught me”

“called it!”

after that you did everything to try and get them together

when your mom was talking to tony, you would stand behind her and wiggle your eyebrows and just taunt tony endlessly

no! tony cannot remember your mom’s birthday for the life of him! you are his calendar now

“dude, why dont you just ask JARVIS to remind you?”

“i may be a genius, but that doesn’t mean i have common sense”

“wise words, sir” -JARVIS

when tony disappeared for 3 months you were so sad???? like you were not okay at all

no

and when he came back, he literally exited the plane saying “WHERE’S ‘T-POTT??’”

(your wonderful nickname. ‘t’ for ‘tony jr.’ and ‘pott’ for ‘potts’)

“my mom missed you”

“oh, i bet she did”

“you turned my child into you, tony. i will never forgive you for this”

“well, at least y/n was here to fill in for me, huh?”

tony wanted to show you the arc reactor but he was actually afraid of scarring you lmfaoooo

but he did let you in on the iron man secret (he knew you wouldn’t snitch)

and just to make sure:

“if you dont tell anyone, i’ll buy you a car when you turn 16”

“man, that’s like, forever away”

“good, maybe you’ll forget by then”

ur mom kinda maybe sorta found out abt iron man :/ she told you that tony was a bad influence

“mom! no, tony’s cool! he’s like a superhero”

“no, sweetie, he’s a rich guy with issues. we’re leaving”

that didn’t last long

not long at all

and soon they FINALLY got together

“jeez, i thought you two would never stop pining after each other”

“couldnt have done it without my wingman” -tony *fistbump*

“as thanks can i have my own iron man suit?”

“yes.” *pepper glaring at him* “no.”

sooner or later your mom and you moved into tony’s house and you got a really big room!!!!

it was completely decked out

king sized bed, flatscreen tv, mini-fridge, microwave, computer, your own bathroom with a smaller tv, a poster of tony??? (you vandalized it and put it in his workshop), and more!!!

okay you were spoiled

“do you like it here? are you sure i made the right choice?” -pepper

“are you kidding, mom? this is awesome! plus, you’re happy, i’m happy, tony’s happy, i think JARVIS is even happy!”

“i am, mx. potts. simply ecstatic” -JARVIS

pepper was really happy!! it was a pretty cool family

you started giving your school tony’s number if you ever got in trouble, you knew he’d cover for you

“mr. potts, is it?”

“sure”

“your child, y/n, punched another student in the face today. we’re very disappointed in their behavior”

“why’d they punch the kid?”

“well, the other student punched y/n first”

“HAH! thank you for wasting my time. send y/n back to class and call me back if something important comes up”

he literally gave you a high five when you got home

“i gave him a black eye!”

“i couldn’t be more proud. i mean, i dont condone violence, but self defense is a whole other story”

a little help in the workshop, tony asks you to hold the flashlight

“why don’t you get one of your robots to hold this for you?”

“are you kidding me, you’re complaining? we’re having stepdad/stepkid bonding time! and dum-e can’t do anything right, i dont trust him”

youve had a few theme park trips as a family ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

also tony has 100% told you to wait in the car and then left you alone for 2+ hours

“i’m not like a regular dad, im a step-dad. want some beer? you can have a little sip. i’d rather you do it in the house”

your mother actually does love how he actually cares about you!

“y/n is 12% my responsibility” -tony

“tony, you are impossible” -pepper

no avengering for you! pepper said no!!!!!!

disappointed but not surprised

iron man 3: y/n potts is put through the wringer

Text Message to Mr. Tony: bro you better come get your girl, me and happy are watching this other guy flirting with her. he’s showing her pics of his ‘big brain’

Mr. Tony: HE WHAT

Text Message to Mr. Tony: Tony he looks creepy i don’t want him to be my new stepdad do something!!!

anyways ur house kinda blew up and ur mom and you kinda got kidnapped and u were right abt that guy being creepy and thankfully no experiments were done on you but like your mom kinda almost died and her and tony were fine!!! all good in the end

you met mr. col. james rhodes that day

“aw, you’re the kid ive heard so much about” -rhodey

“you mean the coolest kid in the world?check.”

“you cant tell me you aren’t tony’s biological child, good god”

you got to meet the avengers later on too! (you’d already met natasha tho, only briefly)

“i know it can be a little overwhelming, right? meeting all these heros, legends even—” -rhodey

“oh, my god, is that thor? thor!!” -you, leaving rhodey in the dust

literally why does pepper trust you around tony something always goes wrong there were literally robots attacking, you were only at avengers tower bc your mom was busy with the company and she thought you’d be safe with the avengers. the AVENGERS.

“please dont tell your mom that i created a bad robot that tried to kill us. the robot will be the least of our problems” -tony

he made happy pick you up and you had to miss out on FUN and it sucked a lot

“it’s okay, y/n! i’m fun, too!” -happy

then your mom and tony took a break and your life got mega-boring for a while, but they weren’t separated for that long. you try not to think about it. it was brutal

Mr. Tony: Does she miss me?

New Message to Mr. Tony: I think so. Either that or she’s crying and drinking wine in the dark for no reason.

Mr. Tony: Damn it, now I feel bad. I miss her a lot. Oh, also, the Avengers say ‘hi,’ I’m in Germany with some bad news, I’ll explain later if you don’t see it on TV first, and I found you the perfect friend! His name is Peter and I think you’d like the school he goes to, it’s in Midtown. Smart kid school.

New Message to Mr. Tony: I’ll look into it, thanks. Also, I don’t like how those all connect. Please update me asap

watching the news to see several avengers arrested, cap on the run, and more!

“maybe it was good i didn’t fall in with the avengers”

tony and pepper finally got back together and you actually transferred to midtown high! peter and his friend group accepted you quickly, it was great. you and flash unfortunately had the most in common

you’d literally text happy right next to peter and he’d immediately reply to you. it hurt peter’s feelings

Momma: Sweetie! I’m working in the office late, leftovers are in the fridge, hope you have a wonderful day at school! 💕

👉👈the vulture tried to kill you for being tony’s stepkid, tony made peter promise to protect you

“y/n, you gotta stay out of harm’s way. mr. stark gave me an actual mission and it’s terrifying, i have to make sure you stay safe”

legit why the fuck was this old man tryna kill you bro grow up

anyyyywayssss your mom and tony got engaged!!

“wow, i thought the day would never come!!” -you

ppl told you tony isnt your stepdad bc ur mom and him werent married but who tf asked

why is the earth always in fucking danger

you and peter were just vibing on the field trip bus and all the sudden: space donut

“go! i’ll cover for you...FRIDAY, call tony”

“...hi there, little one”

“what the fuck”

“oh, so you see the aliens, too? well, at least im not crazy”

tony stark has left the atmosphere

you and your mom were kinda......not chillin tho

she and you didn’t sleep for a few nights, then ppl just straight up disappeared

plot twist: you survived the snap and your family was lucky to be alive, you even got a little sister who became a big handful!

only bad thing was all your friends dusted and you were pretty lonely

but watching morgan grow up kept you busy

“ahhh, shes so big!”

happy times in bad times

bad times!!!!! bc after five years thanos came back as thanos from like ten years ago. outdated thanos. obsolete thanos.

but you made your first and only appearance in the suit tony actually designed for you many years ago

you should have just stayed home tho bc that fight didnt pass the vibe check

“please dont tell me he...no, no, no, no, no”

you and your mom latched onto each other in tears, tony was one of the best people in your life, he made you and your mom two of the happiest people on earth

best stepdad a kid could ever ask for

taglist: @alwaysananglophile // @rorybutnotgilmore // @locke-writes // @sweetheartliz07 // @queen-destenie // @natasha-danvers // @lokihiddles // @frostedgiantfavs // @emygirl // @lotsoffandomrecs // @johnmurphyisbisexual // @teenwaywardasgardian // @pappydaddy // @captainshazamerica // @freya-xo // @ravenmoore14 // @purpleskiesstorm // @ofthedewthesunlight //

[normal-thoughts-official]

what are your thoughts about izzy and alec’s sibling bond from the scenes we got from the show

i liked their relationship a lot, actually. which is not to say that it was flawless, but the flaws we got to see were honestly some of what made me the most interested in them. and then of course sh dropped it like a hot potato, but like... it was still pretty interesting to me

disclaimer that this is my own Abused Kid™ stuff projecting for sure, but i still think the way i see their relationship makes sense (or well, i'm not sure if i would say my parents were abusive, but they are quite a lot like the lightwoods in their own way and i definitely consider the lightwoods abusers, so it doesn't really matter that much). so like this will probably feature a fair amount of oversharing lol

anyway! so what i find really interesting and really like about alec and izzy's relationship is that despite the fact that them having abuser parents who honestly put them in very specific "kid who always fucks up" vs "kid who is expected to do everything perfect" roles, they managed to still be friends and on each other's side and have an overall very loving and supporting relationship. i think that's what attracted me to their sibling bond the most, because for decades me and my brother didn't really manage to be close or build a relationship precisely because of those roles. in our case, my brother was the fuckup kid, i was the kid who had to always be perfect (in my case, lowkey to "compensate" for him) and it led to him resenting me and being all but afraid of me because everything i did seemed to be so much better than him in my parent's eyes, so... yeah

so it always struck me as pretty interesting that alec and izzy seemed to be genuinely so close. izzy is one of the few people who gets alec to smile and who gets to ever touch alec, and although they have a lot of differences, it always came down way more to teasing than to actual fighting between them

but also - which is partially why i said that their flaws were part of what drew me to them the most - the tensions that emerged from that abusive background were very much there, and i found that pretty interesting

another disclaimer that i tend to relate to alec more, because i was in the same role as him, but also tend to be very forgiving towards izzy because i see my brother in her and i blame myself for our relationship way more than him since he was the weakest link there lol. but also in part i think i project unto her in the sense that i kept trying to make things easier to my brother, but i kept fucking up because i didn't fully understand his situation, and i definitely think that's what went on with izzy and alec

so let's get into the details of how the whole "fuckup kid" vs "golden kid" (and disclaimer before ppl come yell at me again: i'm not saying that alec was treated well by his parents or that they treated him like he was good enough, because they definitely didn't. i'm saying that when compared to izzy he was considered the kid that had potential, that could be trusted, and who had the most amount of pressure put unto. again, that was how i was treated by my parents, so miss me with the "wow you think alec had it easy?" shit because i know damn well he did not lol. the "golden kid" is an abuse archetype and therefore it means you are abused. calm down) thing affected their relationship in particular

so alec was the eldest, and i think from very early on he latched unto the expectations his parents had for him as a way to protect himself and make sense of the world. i was telling autistic alec anon just today how i think that the fact that shadowhunter culture was so black and white and gave alec such a clear sense of what he was supposed to do and who he was supposed to be kind of helped him navigate the world because it made it easier for him to figure out the path to follow when everything else was just so confusing and the expectations were so crushing and everything he felt was so complicated. i think alec's always known that he didn't conform, and because he didn't have a safe outlet to let that out, he decided to just go by the book to protect himself. which is valid

that being said, i think the other half of the reason why he decided to pursue the "perfect shadowhunter" existence so hard was exactly because of izzy (and later jace and max). because again, alec is the eldest, and he was already being crushed by expectations of upholding the lightwood name and following the rules and whatnot. like, maryse and robert basically expected their kids to undo all the shit they had done when they joined the circle, and they didn't even tell them that that was the reason, so they were probably just taught that they should do what the lightwoods said because and that was that. and because there were all these stakes that they didn't even understand or know about, the pressure was harder

and alec was already being taught to be a leader, and he loved his sister, so he probably wanted to shield her from all the pressure of those expectations, because he knew he was out there fucking killing himself for it. so i think part of the reason he tried so hard to be perfect was because, if he was perfect, izzy (and then jace and max) would get to breathe a little bit. alec is pretty self sacrificial and definitely has a tendency to shoulder suffering in the place of ppl he loves, so i don't think that's far fetched. also, we saw how alec literally shouldered all the blame for jace's fuckups, despite the fact that jace did it all behind alec's back and with alec telling him not to do it (i'm saying jace because from what i remember what got alec punished in particular was something that jace and clary did, not izzy, but izzy was definitely also going against whatever alec told her to and i have no doubt that he would shoulder the blame for her as well, although i don't think she would use that against him, unlike some people. but i digress). but alec just allowed himself to be punished for it like it was on him, so i think it makes sense to believe that alec tried to take the brunt of their parents' pressure so izzy wouldn't have to

and the thing is that i think that izzy... never realized that. i mean, i'm sure she realized that alec was trying way too hard to be what their parents expected of her, but she never realized that she was part of the reason. and she tried to get him to rebel a little bit because she thought that he needed it, and i mean, she was right, but what she didn't realize is that the fact that alec didn't rebel was so she could. not that izzy was not facing consequences for her rebelling, because we saw how maryse treated her versus how she treated alec and jace (it's very interesting to me also how once jace came into the picture he became an actual golden kid, not a "golden kid" like the abused kid who is put as impossibly better than the other one but still never good enough, but actually good enough, and how that was used to put alec in that position where he had to work even harder as well. but that's for another post)

and that's the frustrating part (and i think the part i relate to izzy for the most) because i think she was genuinely trying to help? but she never really understood alec. i was also talking earlier today (or was it yesterday? rip my time blindness but it was definitely recent) about how many people seem to understand alec's coming out story as an internalized homophobia story, and how i don't think that's how it was at all. i don't wanna repeat myself so if anyone's interested in that it's here. and the thing is, i think izzy made the same mistake. she falsely assumed that alec didn't rebel because he genuinely internalized that being gay was bad and because he was lying to himself about it, but that wasn't the case at all. alec knew he was gay and accepted that, he just decided to stay in the closet and live life that way. which obviously is horrible and traumatic, but it's different, and because izzy couldn't tell the difference, she made it worse

izzy kept trying to make alec "accept" himself, but alec didn't really have a problem accepting himself; he just wanted to keep that a secret to protect himself. but because she thought that he was in denial, she kept trying to push him to... not exactly admit because i wouldn't say she was all like "alec just say it you'll feel better" but to maybe "face" it, and alec interpreted that as her demanding that he came out of the closet, which he couldn't do. so he kept closing off and she kept interpreting that as him being in denial, so she kept pushing, and she made things infinitely worse for him even if i am 100% sure her intentions were good (just look at how protective she was of alec and magnus during the beginning of their relationship, or how she tried to get maryse and robert to marry her off instead of alec, or the difference between how clary and jace talked about it - "you're in love with jace"; "this is about your feelings" - and how izzy talked about it - "alec, it's okay") but as we say in brazil, hell is filled to the brim with good intentions

that is not to say that izzy didn't go on that straight shit from time to time ("we all got our things, don't we?" comes to mind, but i gotta say it really pisses me off how everyone talks about izzy being homophobic in that scene and completely ignores how openly racist alec was. like obviously both are fucked up, but yall clearly seem to think only one of these is a problem. but that's for another post) but i think that generally her intentions were always to get alec to be more comfortable with himself/happier. she noticed how much the lightwood's expectations were crushing him, but again, she didn't realize that alec was choosing to take the brunt of these. she didn't realize that he couldn't rebel like she did because of her. not until it was too late

i think izzy only started to realize that - particularly how much of her rebelling was only allowed because alec was there as a safe option so they couldn't afford to have a "fuckup child" even if obviously they still hated that they couldn't control izzy - when she tried to get the lightwoods to marry her instead of alec and they were like... lol? it's alec who's supposed to save the lightwood name, not you. you are worthless as a bride and as a peace offering

and that's when it hit her that alec was taking a role, a role that he had been effectively protecting her from having to take, but that also meant she couldn't help him

i think that's when she realized, because you can see the change in her behavior, you know - "you stood by me, so now i'm standing by you, big brother". she understood that alec was trying to protect her the same way she had tried to protect him and never realized, but that by trying to get alec to just stop without thinking about what the greater picture was for him, she was just making things harder for him. i think that was some very interesting growth we got to see

and on the other hand alec didn't realize that izzy had been trying to protect him as well. like i think that she definitely laid the whole "fuckup kid" thing too thick, which was partially for herself, like, basically embracing the role because she would never be good enough for the lightwoods so why not just accept that she was a fuckup and be everything they despised? but i think she also partially did it for alec, because she wanted to show him that it was okay. that there could be a life that wasn't just doing what your parents expected you to. and like, sure, she got treated like shit for it, and she faced some forms of abuse that alec didn't (mainly touch/affection withdrawal from what we got to see in the show, but also considerable more verbal degrading. again im not saying alec had it easy, especially because we know that the parts where maryse expressed "pride" over him were basically used to make him do what she wanted; but still, the difference in treatment is very clear), but she was still standing, so it was possible, see?

i don't even think this is something i had to defend a lot because she said it so many times? she was always telling alec that he could loosen up, that it was okay (she said the exact words "it's okay" many times). she had a kinda, idk, sassy attitude over it, generally treating it like a joke, but imo that was because she knew that if she talked about it in all seriousness alec would shut down, like he had many times. so i think by making it into a joke and playing the mindless "woo i don't care about anything" character she was trying to have that conversation in a more subtle way. at the very least, alec was amused

and i think a huge part of the fandom also misinterprets izzy as being exactly that shallow person who only thought about immediate gratification that she pretended to be but honestly i don't see that at all? throughout all of season 1, the single thing that drove izzy's character was her desire to protect alec, except for when she tried to save meliorn from him, which was like.... just the decent thing to do. and izzy is not a shallow character. she is not stupid. and she is not primarily driven by her own desires. that is not to say that izzy was never selfish (see: how she treated raphael, so much shit about sizzy), but she is not the kind of character who only does whatever the fuck she wants to because it sounds more fun that's jace and clary. most of the time, her primary motivation was to help alec or clary, aka people that she loves. i think that, like alec, she is the kind that only extends that protectiveness over the people closest to her and is not really the "helping everyone out" type, but she is also not completely self-absorbed like she pretended to be. and i don't think she even cared all that much about parties and whatnot. like when did we see her going to one on her own without it being a mission? when did we see izzy actually pursuing one night stands? that is not to say that these things are bad, but if izzy were that girl who only cares about sleeping around and having fun like she pretended to be, then one would think we would see her actually doing that instead of just performing that shallow mindless sexy girl stereotype?

and like look i know that she was written to be a sexy lamp or whatever but if the writers aren't gonna care enough about her to make that consistent and show her doing that beyond what she says i might as well go there and give her the depth that she deserves. especially because we got to see izzy talk about that so much. like her saying that one of the things that attracted her to raphael was that for once in her life it didn't feel like everything was all about sex. i find it appalling that people genuinely think that that's all she's about when she made it so clear that it bothered her. like imo izzy took on that role, again, to piss off her parents, and also because it was something that she was good at. she was good at being sexy and she got gratification and positive feedback over that, which she was obviously starved for since her own mother wouldn't even fucking hug her. it was the one thing she didn't fuck up at and that got her to feel like she was treasured, even if really she was just desired

not just that but izzy also consistently made hard choices for those she loved? like im not gonna say that izzy going to save meliorn from torture was anything less than the bare minimum but if she were that shallow self centered persona that only wanted to have fun and didn't care about the consequences she wouldn't have put so much on jeopardy to save them. or risk being deruned and losing everything so she could call the clave out on their bullshit. or break up with meliorn (someone we know she genuinely liked) so she could offer herself to be married off to someone in alec's place. the one thing that we know izzy would be miserable over, because that woman was not born to be no one's trophy wife. and she was fully ready and willing to throw her WHOLE life away for alec. that would be FOREVER. miss me with that "izzy is a shallow girl who only cares about herself and partying" shit

like to me it's very clear that that was a front (especially because the way she talked about it was SO over the top too, like, it sounded so fake. and when we got scenes of her talking to alec or to clary she was a wholly different person, way less confident, way softer. honestly izzy could have been such a great narrative about woc and hypersexualization and the traps of taking over that "femme fatale" role as a form of empowerment or whatever, but of course sh doesn't have the range for that) and i think that front was first and foremost for alec's sake. she was trying to break him out of the lightwood's brainwashing. what she didn't realize was that he wasn't brainwashed, he was making a choice between the very bad options that he had. and alec in turn didn't realize that izzy acted the way she did, in great part, for him, not for herself. i wouldn't say that alec bought that izzy was a shallow girl because we know how much he loves her and that he knows her better than anyone, but i think he also didn't realize she was trying to help/protect him

so it was such an interesting miscommunication issue and i would have loved to see that actually addressed and worked on, but alas. the most we ever got was them talking about being honest to each other about the yin fen. and izzy pretty much didn't get real plotlines or character development anyway daoijdaoij except for the absolute bullcrap that was the yin fen which i am not going to get into because it makes me so angry and i hate it so much

and then of course sh didn't really get into it and basically considered the problem solved once alec came out, which i mean, i guess does take that out of the way when it was the main miscommunication problem between them, but still, they should have had a talk and realized what a stupid dance they were both having and how they would have both benefitted from working together instead of in the name of each other. which is a frequent trope for alec in relationships anyway, too, so it could be a good introduction to these issues, but alas!

in short: i think both alec and izzy love each other very much, have each other's best interests at heart, but weren't really seeing each other as they were. and they both put a front for each other (izzy in particular) that made communication pretty much impossible. and they ended up not being very good for each other (particularly izzy for alec, but i think alec also made her feel alone and like he saw her as.. just some stupid girl, you know?), but i loved to see how these things were there simultaneously. the wanting to help each other and the effectively only making things worse. the love that was so present and so strong despite all of that. the way that they never became competitive or resented each other like kids who are raised with those dynamics usually get. i just love how there was so much going on and so many problems but still so much love between them. i really wished we got to see it actually get some sort of closure and more exploration, but. fuck me i guess

[thelazyhermits]

hi haze!! i hope you're doing well bc i'm sending you my angsty thoughts for your encanto!tabf au XD (if ur still accepting them ofc 👉👈)

so i was rereading "a lie more comfortable than truth" until i suddenly wondered what it would be like if it's in the encanto!tabf universe n had a so many angsty hcs abt that bc i am a sucker for pain apparently 😌👌

the plot is pretty much the same, w fortune n izuku having the same situation as mirabel and bruno in the fic, wherein izuku helps shouta n hitoshi look after fortune by making sure she doesn't stay in her room for too long, have her get some fresh air n some food. meanwhile, fortune is just stressed n paranoid over the Death Vision she got abt izuku, using her gift to see into multiple futures (and similarly to bruno, she only saw futures of war and death of ppl outside their valley) which puts a huge toll on her health n sanity, n it worries shouta n hitoshi a lot bc they see how she doesn't look as great as she used to :(((((

(in this au, i imagine that fortune, like bruno, keeps this vision between herself n grandma, mainly bc grandma pleaded/ordered her not to spill it n also bc fortune's afraid of what her brothers n the fam might think or do. n maybe a little part of her wants to believe that if she ignores this vision n goes on w her life like normal, than maybe it wouldn't come true. OOF PAIN)

izuku doesn't seem to mind taking care of/spending time w fortune even w katsuki being an ass about it n calling izuku essentially a babysitter for a grown adult. he likes hanging out w fortune bc she tells cool stories n doesn't belittle him for every lil thing he does to make the family proud :,)) WHICH MAKES THE VISION REVEAL SCENE EVEN MORE SAD N TRAGIC HHHHH

i like to imagine that the first person to discover the death vision when izuku tried yoinking it from grandma's room is katsuki (for character development >:D), then he tells mirio bc katsuki has the common sense not to tell shouta n hitoshi, the two protective members of the fam when it comes to izuku. then the matchmaking dinner happens but it goes sideways fast w eri's monkeys doing their thing w the vision tablet, katsuki n mirio trying to keep it away from the fam until bOOM chaos happens when it's revealed, w hitoshi thundering, inko crying, katsuki involuntarily creating sparks, fortune having a serious breakdown, n grandma close to tears, which ends the same way in the original fic w izuku keeping the family together while he talks w fortune abt the vision, like mirabel with bruno.

for more angst, i feel like katsuki - who had been holding back from saying anything to fortune throughout the dinner until the big reveal - would be hella pissed n confused, demanding fortune why she kept it a secret n close to grabbing her by the front of her shirt before hitoshi n shouta put a stop to it. but katsuki just goes on to yell at fortune abt her "taking advantage of izuku's kindness" which sets off fortune into angrily telling him he's wrong and then it all dissolves into just,,,,arguing, consequently forming cracks in minka. then the collapse happens, and yaknow the rest 👀

AAA thanks for indulging my thoughts, ur encanto!tabf au is really occupying my brain today n im not complaining <3

Of course, I am still accepting them! I am always happy to talk about this AU and all the angst potential it has lol

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! This angst is so real here. Fortune would absolutely be devastated if she were in Bruno's shoes in this particular fic setting.

This kind of scenario would take such a heavy toll on Fortune mentally and physically. Poor Shouta & Hitoshi would be so worried about her. On the bright side, all the Fortune & Izuku moments would be very cute and wholesome, at least at the start lol

I could definitely see things turning out just as you described. I would definitely wanna put Katsuki in the same position as Isabela for that character development, and he would definitely be the one to yell at Fortune once the vision gets revealed to everyone.

And oh man the river scene where Fortune pulls Izuku out would be so emotional. She's crying, she's yelling, she's a mess lol

On a funnier note, Katsuki wouldn't volunteer to jump into the river. he'd be the one saying how stupid an idea that is lol 😂