#also tumblr would freak out and it would be very funny

[cloud-based-and-rainpilled]

I hope for Good Omens season 3 Neil Gaiman pulls the, "Actually Aziraphale and Crowley don't need to kiss to show they love each other" card because Michael Sheen would personally bomb the Amazon headquarters

[gallusrostromegalus]

I feel like you probably get this a lot, but I just wanted to tell you that my 68 year old mother just texted me a screenshot of your airport story that she saw on facebook and asked me how to sign up for tumblr. I just about had a heart attack and then I had to spend like ten minutes on the phone talking her out of it because funny stories aside this website would be very much Not Her Speed. Curse you for being so funny it made my mom want to join this hellsite, but also cheers because every time you cross my dash it's a delight and the airport story was freaking hilarious. Now if you'll excuse me, I need to go lie down.

Your mom lived through the Cuban Missile Crisis, she can handle tumblr.

[beautyconsumer]

(I see you've redone your blog again) but anyway JayGrant is sooooo the friends that make a marriage pact as kids. And Jason thinks it's a joke but Grant is SO serious. 20 years later Grant breaks into Jason's apartment and is like "so I've noticed you're not yet wed-" and Jason is like "I THOUGHT YOU WERE FUCKING DEAD WHAT THE FUCK!" And Grant is like "Irrelevant. I need you to update your hand measurements to get the ring resized."

I did! I want it to represent what's going on on this little corner of Tumblr of mine hehe thanks for noticing!

Also!!! ASASGDJFG "I need you to update your hand measurements to get the ring resized." Meaning he already has a ring and has been constantly measuring Jason's hand throughout their childhood/teenage years, lmaoo I imagine Jason sitting there while Grant measures his hand going "lol you still on that?" While Grant very much is.

Jason being pulled the uno reverse card for once and being in the other end of "I THOUGHT YOU WERE FUCKING DEAD WHAT THE FUCK!" is so freaking funny.

Jason is still reeling on the fact that Grant came back at all, cause he had given hope he would. Jason sees his own resurrection as a curse so seeing Grant reviving gives him a new perspective and of course Grant goes, "We're soulmates, actually."

And Jason kind of believes him. Wants to believe him too.

Jason is —other than surprised Grant came back at all— is like "You meant it???"

Because he's on board, HEAVILY so, because he gets to marry the first crush he ever had, the very hetero guy who would mess around for shits and giggles, and make him flustered and red faced every time he'd throw hypotheticals at him: "I would treat you better than anyone else", "If you married me we'd never spend our nights sleeping"

All of this is especially funny immediately after Grant's resurrection, because Grant is fully convinced he came back for that one reason (it's actually way deeper than that but his obsessive streak is not gonna wind down for a while.)

Grant goes over the top with everything, the ring, the weeding, the preparations, his rich kid upbringing along his entitlement and hedonistic nature (that only amplified when he came back from dead) makes him a nightmare for anyone who gets on his way of making the Wedding anything less than perfect. This also goes along with me headcanoning him as a perfectionist (having your parents criticizing your shit since ever will do that to ya) bridezilla Grant says who lmao

And if we're going with the family dynamics...

Adeline Kane clutches her chest and almost has a heart attack because she finds out her son is alive Through a freaking Weeding Invitation.

Joey as well and his brain is balancing from wanting to beat the shit out his brother for making them go through this to go hug him and demand to be his best man.

Respawn, Alex, Rose and Wintergreen are invited as well, if only to cement the fact that Slade is very much not invited. He still shows up, though.

Jade is the bridesmaid, or best woman, or however it is. Grant shows up one day and is like "Bitch I'm getting married, you're the bridesmaid," she sighs, looks at his choice of a husband, sighs even more heavily and then they go shopping for the wedding.

The batfam on the other hand, Bruce and Dick are the ones who are having the hardest time.

Bruce is happy at first that Jason is settling and getting married, but then—

"Married to who?!"

Dick is sweating bullets, "Jason, you're still young, you don't have to settle for this one just yet!"

"No, I gotta."

Babs walks him through acceptance. When he recovers he drops Jason hints (as in, big passive aggressive hints) of him being the best man.

Jason lets him in tension for a while, at least until he decides who's gonna be the best man because he's not the first one to not-ask.

Meanwhile Steph and Tim pipe in, "can we plan your bachelor party?"

Damian is happy he gets to spend time and meet his half brother's family, (Respawn) and Jason will be there too I guess.

Jason is very much shoving in their faces, "I'm getting married before any of you losers."

Talia and Harvey are invited as well much to Bruce's dismay.

Bruce gets surprisingly along and is very supportive with Grant while he's in one of his bridezilla episodes because yes, Grant is right: Jason’s wedding deserves the best of the best.

Grant gets very intense about it too, hence, mark Jason down as scared and horny.

Slade, on the other hand, gets whiplash because Addie was just like that on their wedding.

[toffeebrews]

Any errink headcanons? :D

Tumblr hates me so I had to rewrite this, anyway... [Note: all my hcs ofc nothing is canon but some may be based of canon information! Sometimes I may refer to non-canon past rps :P]

Error and ink do dumb rps with his puppets together, they've made a super dramatic soap opera plot.

I think Ink realizes Error would never change and he's content with that (sigh as much as I would love to say he would).

Ink finds error's six tongues fascinating, rather than gross. In a similar way, error is fascinated by ink's star eyes (I wonder what that hc came from).

If they ever kissed it would be the most disgusting revoltingly thing ever because error doesn't know how to kiss at all and he also has 6 tongues.

If you asked them how they became friends they would just look at you and shrug. Not even they know how to happened. All they can say is they "get eachother." Error deep down has always wanted a friend and Ink gives him that. Ink is willing to deal with error's bs and error is willing to deal with ink's. Ink can feel a little lonely in his own role and among a world that is fake and Error being an outcode like hin understands him a way others wouldn't. Not even mentioning their story parallels but I gotta stop my self before I start rambling. They're some of the only people who know some of other's deep insecurities.

Ink found Error's crashes funny before he knew how absolutely painful they were. Although not sure if he would ever trigger them on purpose even before he knew ngl.

more yapping under the cut

I would define them as whatever happens when you cross a friend an enemy and a partner.

Ink loves all of his shipkids and error... feels very conflicted about all of them.

They also think the other is a freaky than them when in reality they're both freaks.

Error still thinks about when Ink proposed to him at loveball, ink doesn't think about it at all. Ink also proposed to him with a ring pop that he found in the candy bowl in my head LOL.

Ink doesn't mention his dads to him .. maybe out of fear

Other people still make fun of Ink for proposing to error at loveball and ink always goes "IT WAS ONE TIME!"

Error and Ink are both quite short, Error is only a few inches taller than Ink.

Due to loveball, Error is always scared (in a playful way) when Ink starts drinking.

Error does feel guilty for the time he left ink in the antivoid. Not all of the time, but at times when hes sitting with Ink in the anti-void he can't help but reflect on it. If he would ever admit it? Probably not.

Error and ink's dancing at loveball was a beautiful disaster. Ink is actually an okay dancer but because Error was really nervous it threw him off and it was so off beat. It was really cute though, regardless.

Ink finds errorink ship art very amusing and he shows it to error just to freak him out sometimes.

Error always kills ink first in among us. Error also always blames ink as the imposter even if he isn't.

They have a "close but not too close" rule just close enough to feel the warmth of the other person but not enough to touch. (do skeletons give off warmth?). They do hold pinkies though fr fr. Also Error does lay his head in Ink's lap sometimes, typically when they're watching something. Ink may also give Error forehead or hand kisses.

I like to think Error runs quite hot, because he crashes all the time, so hes warm like a computer LOL. Ink who in my hc has a lessen sense of touch and runs sorta cold due to be soulless lovess sitting around him because of it.

Crack headcanon, when error's eyes glitch up or hes about to crash if you really listen you can hear the sound of computer fans going ham.

Ink will often just... walk up to error and put him a different outfit. Something about his being "too basic" and "his outfit has an ugly color palette".

If you know my pinkie sense ink hc Error doesn't know HOW it works but he fully believes him every single time. Even when ink is trolling, LOL!

Error and Ink call eachother "Ruru" and "Kiki" but only to annoy the other. Specifically if ink is pleading for something he'll do it to annoy him "please ruru :(" They also call eachother glitch and squid in a movking as well LOL.

They have friendship rings? platonic rings? idk if those are a thing made from blue string.

In my own error design, he has a big tooth. Because of it ink calls him a "big kitty" to make fun of him.

[manasurge]

Guild Wars 2 OC stuff: So I finally figured out the full body design for Vallotash (Mordremoth's Scion a.k.a. who Mourynn actually is) They're more or less the same person, but it's complicated, but leans more to Vall believing she's Mourynn and kind of is since she inhabits her body and memories, but is technically an imposter and is very depressed and in denial about it. Inspiration from Jahai Bluffs: "Are you a dragon dreaming that it's a hero? If you were, how would you know?" (also it's my tumblr banner lol) I'm still sketching out the origin story to explain how this happens, but for now here is this sketch bc I am happy with how this turned out and wanted to post it early. It's basically self preservation turned to parasitism to accidental death of host to unintentional identity theft out of guilt/tribute + memory absorption to make her think she's the sapling + amnesia about the whole event taking place over the span of a year stuck in the dream (to super condense her origin lore). I'll finish these sketches once I'm done her origin story pages, or if I get possessed to do it earlier bc I'm still happy with how this turned out and might want to keep working on it sooner, hehe.

Here is more sketches of Mourynn/Vallotash under the cut:

She has some simpler looks for when she's flattened down. She looks SO SILLY but I love it. Beware the Scion of Mordremoth: This freaking wiggly silly noodle thing. A terrifying menace!! Beloathed parasite daughter vine of the mighty Jungle Elder Dragon!! /does a snake blep (Also the first two head sketches I did of her from last year when she still didn't have a body designed yet lmao. I still have to figure out how large she actually is, as well as her colouration. She'll have to match Mourynn's, so she's gonna be a funny mix of the colours in the cool spectrum, which doesn't look very plant-like, but sylvari can be all different colours, and she has the whole poisonous/hallucinogenic thing going on, as well as some Soo-won influence bc she's based off a leafy sea dragon and is very attuned to water, so it kinda works yeah????) I also have no idea what her large chin whisker things are supposed to be. I just kind of made them up on the spot and fell in love with them, so they're STAYING, even if they make no sense. I mostly just love that they'd look so cool underwater and while glowing in the dark, and they are vaguely alien and jellyfish-like.

[totheidiot]

even though i think that even if they both lived and started getting romantically involved, they would never be the type to have children, a mikalight child is still. a very funny concept to me. take a walk with me and hear me out.

this child is the product of light and mikami, you bet your ass that kid is going to be a Perfectionist. a Total Freak about it as well. the most meticulous and pedantic child you have ever seen in your entire life. top of the class, student council president, to the point where it's annoying. very academic individual, very smart.

light and mikami would totally try to rub their beliefs onto that poor child. from a very young age, they are going to have strong and vocal beliefs about justice and good and bad, very knowledgable on those stuff as well. there is this person on tumblr who will sometimes make jokes about having a marxist son and one of the posts were something about the son talking to their classmates and the classmates bring up the topic of cartoons or other children stuff but all the son is allowed to read. is the communist manifesto. i imagine that mikalight child is something like that, except with law. their classmates will be talking about something like pokemon and they'll turn to the mikalight child and go, "hi :) what's your favorite pokemon" and the child will stare at them and go "oh i don't watch that stuff" and in order to continue the conversation, the classmates would ask "oh! what do you like to do then?" and child is going to pause for a moment and go "hm. lately i have been very interested in analyzing the constitution of japan."

like mikami, i think this child would also help the bullied and the tormented kids as well but they wouldn't get bullied for it though. in my mind, light is like. those monster PTA moms, if a single thing happens to his child, he is going to blow a gasket and start threatening to sue. he would be a very scary parent, people will not be going against his kid.

as for mikami and light as parents: i think they'd be middling. high expectations for their child, they would want them to be a certain way and if the child goes against that, they'll get mad. light as a parent in general, he would definitely follow after soichiro's footsteps exactly. soichiro is the very foundation, he is doing exactly what his father did when he raised him. mikami on the other hand, hm i am not sure how he would do exactly. i do think he would be the antithesis to his own mother. between light and him though, i actually think mikami would be the one more interested in instilling a sense of justice into that kid. light would also try too of course, he would make his beliefs clear and try to set an example for his child but mikami would be the one who is more overzealous about it.

[sharp-rosee]

Hey funny story: I haven't been around Tumblr at all for months, but today someone told me menalez had deactivated or something so I came on here and looked it up. First result was a post by you, i checked out your blog and wouldn't you know it your most recent post had you defending me post mortem lmfao. I sent an anon to the other woman too but it seems she won't post it so to clarify to you: when I supposedly said "studies showing violence suffered by bisexuals are cringe and useless" what I remember thinking about that is that those studies that I've seen are never used to try to understand why bisexuals suffer such insane rates of violence (more than homosexuals) and trying to stop it. I've only seen them be used as battering rams in discourse when homosexuals criticize bisexuals. Which is crazy for such a serious issue and totally trivializes it lol. Also that my explanation for it was that such studies show that many abused people incorrectly id as bi for a time. You can disagree or wtv just those were my points, she made it sound like I'm cheering on women beating if they're bi or something. Also your defense of me (thanks queen lol) is accurate if you were wondering. I used to be sorta pro strict separatism but I outgrew the anger/ denial phase of "most women will partner with men" and reached acceptance. Most people are built for romantic partnership, that's just human nature, I can't be hating het women just because their lot in life in that means they're more likely to be abused. Just because I'm not drawn to men, or even much to romance, doesn't mean I should act like that's everyone else too and judge them on that standard, I accept reality and want women to be safe within that rather than pointlessly hate on them and get all worked up because some women have boyfriends..

Well I'm also a mean asshole, I'm sure you noticed, and I definitely would give the bi girlies on radblr a hard time here at the time lol. I don't have the "one side" sort of takes on this divide on radblr. It was funny but I can't feel the energy to that anymore since leaving tumblr, way too few bis or gays irl to care about that stuff. But at the end of the day these are my actual takes on all that disk horse. Funny to see it immediately on such a causal stroll around here lol

-sleep3r4gent

QUEEN I used to follow you ♡ at least when I was crypto a few years back I did.

Also, I'm glad you clarified because the way some women on here seem to hallucinate things they read almost makes me feel insane as well. Like you sending an ask saying you never thought of a certain perspective is not indicative of you agreeing and obviously one can change their opinions over time.

I really have no opinion either way tbh, I myself am straight and in a relationship, and have had others on my last blog send some anons calling me a "dick worshipper" and other misogynistic BS, but they stopped once I didn't let it bother me much. It's so obviously a group of trolls that it's embarrassing that they still believe it enough to keep bringing back the same users, some like you who aren't even misogynistic, to further their persecution complex.

It even is more annoying because these are the women who made Mena/Moideater leave, the above drama is a big reason why. The way radblr will still reblog posts from very racist blogs and not bat an eye but then freak out over a clique of women who aren't even radfems really does show what demographic makes up this site.

I know it gets exhausting to be involved in arguments, but it's nice to know you're still somewhat around. I hope you, Mena and Moid come back someday. If not I understand. But I'll never forget any of them and I haven't forgotten you 😭😭😭

[t4taletyler]

Noah(TDI) and Queer characters in media.

In 2007 Teletoon premiered Total Drama Island, Apart from that cast was Noah. Noah quickly became a fan favorite along with Cody in the episode 'The Big Sleep' where Noah is shown to be kissing Cody's ear in his sleep, The two wake up and freak out. They quickly run away from each other.

This becomes a running gag of sorts, As in the episode 'Haute camp-ture' We see all the characters who got voted off this far in the show at the resort Playa Des Losers.

We see Noah featured in some of these scenes in the episode, As Noah is describing his experience on Total Drama Island he says he's gotten nothing out of it and that it was completely uneventful to him. We see Izzy pop in and say, "He kissed a guy!" The two bicker back and forth about whether it happened or not, Trent rebuttals Noah's no's with "He totally did" and then shows a flashback to Noah and Cody kissing with Noah saying he has no comment. We see this gag again in Total Drama Action in the Aftermath show, We are introduced to the people who didn't end up making it on TDA. In Noah's introduction, we are shown a clip of him kissing Cody AGAIN. They are also shown sitting with each other in a lot of the TDA aftermath segments.

One question I have is why is this gag shown over and over again? In the episode where it came from it didn't move the plot along, it was just a few-second gag. I feel as if this was hinting at Noah being gay, Freshtv who was producing the series has made gay characters before in their other show 6teen. I firmly believe that Noah is queer-coded at the very least. When Justin is introduced to us in episode one of Total Drama Island we see Noah, Owen and Trent all swoon over him much like the girls

In the Total Drama flash game 'Oh No U Di'n't' we see Noah say this about Cody

Though this saying can be said by any of the characters in the Flash game about Cody it sounds the most like Noah, especially with his sarcastic voice. Noah's personality is also a gay stereotype, at least in the first three seasons. In the 2000s typically gay men were depicted as feminine, sassy, and sarcastic. We can see this in TV shows such as Sex in the City and the movie The Devil Wears Prada. Noah emulates a lot of these traits with his sarcastic personality and how sassy he is. He is also depicted as skinny and having a 'girly' scream, shown in the special Total Drama Drama Drama Drama Island.

A lot of these scenes are played as a joke as LGBTQ+ representation was very hard to find that wasn't played as a "haha funny" moment.

In Celebrity Manhunt we see Cody and Noah parallel two straight pairings in this scene. We don't see Noah actually smile a lot but the times he does we see him with men such as Cody,Alejandro and Owen

(aftermath show)

(Newf kids on the Rock)

(I see London..)

On FreshTV's now-deactivated Tumblr blog, they said in response to an ask about Noah

This along with the existence of Nemma (Noah x Emma from rr) has always confused me, Why would Fresh TV go back on their character and suddenly change him to be less sarcastic and sassy? I think if they addressed Noah's queerness they would get backlash because he is A stereotype of a gay man BUT! I think the way they did it was actually more harmful to the queer TDI community. It made a lot of Noco,Alenoah and Nowen shippers face backlash till this day. Now with the TDI reboot we finally have two canon queer characters that are dating which is exciting and I'm glad they fought so hard to keep them but i think this was a way to pay their respects to characters they couldn't make queer like Noah and Owen.

Final Notes/TLDR;

Noah is a queercoded character that wasn't allowed to be queer which still hasn't been answered to this day. I hope with future seasons of total drama we will get more queer rep!

[slugg4rd]

Brain rot so bad I’m posting on Tumblr💔

Haymitch x gn reader rambling ig?!?!

Word count: 1.2k

He’s a stubborn alcoholic with depression who copes by being rude or otherwise sarcastic, you test his patience SO MUCH. He knows he hates you, that’s about it, but also he finds a good deal of fun in goading you and bantering with you whenever you’re around. This man is a handful, and he’s mean, and he has literally no patience for bs.

Idk how you win him over, the logistics don’t matter rn I’m going nutty thinking about him. Imo I love the whole co-mentor thingy, anything that forces him to be around you bc otherwise he’s off hiding somewhere moping. Like imagine being depressed together, fighting over your different tastes in drinks or coping. He’s hugging a whole bottle of liquor or maybe wine if it’s fancy enough and he’s scrutinizing your fruity cocktail like it’s any of his business.

Especially love the thought of getting drunk with him, at this point he just falls asleep when he’s buzzed but he’s trying to stay awake just to bicker and get as much of a reaction from you as he can. The only time he shuts up is if you roast tf out of him, he’d slump down into a chair or on the couch mumbling something barely coherent and then he’s out like a light.

Or, even better, you’re both sleepy drunks and start nodding off at the bar. You barely remember the walk to bed, all you know is somehow you’re still arguing with Haymitch. He throws himself onto the mattress, your mattress, both to piss you off and because he’s too burnt out to bother walking to his own bed across the hall. You flop down next to him and then all of a sudden you’re waking up hungover and half hugging that fool. The both of you freak out to find you’re in bed with one another, fearing the worst, and eventually having to accept the harsh reality that you spent the whole night cuddling and nothing more.

He doesn’t just refuse to admit he likes you, he’s literally oblivious to even the idea of it. No he definitely doesn’t enjoy your company, and he definitely doesn’t seek you out, and there’s no way he would ever think about you outside of your brief and unfortunate interactions. But then you start joking around talking about some pretty celebrity or a handsome victor from another district and suddenly he’s so defensive.

“Her? She’s two faced.”

“Him? He’s not even average.”

“Them? They’re frugal.”

He can’t even begin to realize he’s getting jealous, he’s too busy trying to shoot down all your compliments to these half baked crushes.

But if you compliment him he thinks you’re joking. You say he looks handsome and he’s all “Haha, very funny, y’know you look good too- with your mouth shut.” He’s gonna go for the jugular, but also he finds it getting harder and harder to insult you. Since when did your annoying smile become something he could tolerate? He must still be drunk..

You’ve wormed your way into his life and his head and suddenly you’re over at his house in the Victor’s Village, cleaning up for him while talking about self care and how he deserves it. You’re infuriating, and yet his lawn is trimmed and his walkway is clear of weeds and even his bookshelves are free of dust- and maybe he should go outside for a bit today and get some fresh air.

You’re tidying everything up and then he’s bringing you some old Knick Knacks, keeping track of your hobbies so he can leave you gifts, forcing you to sit down and relax for a minute between daily stressors. You call him an enabler and the laughter that follows makes your heart all fuzzy in the worst way. Every time you do something for him he thanks you in a way that makes it clear he didn’t think anyone would ever do this for him. And when you thank him for his gifts, his occasional reality checks, and his unwilling hospitality, he can’t help but feel more proud than he should that something he did held even an ounce of substance in your life.

How do you even confess??? Do you??? It’s like one second nothing was there and the next you both just agreed that you were a thing, end of discussion. He’s yours, you’re his. You’ve basically moved in at this point, and you’ve been egging him on and showing him he’s worth the effort, and it’s starting to get through his thick skull that maybe there’s worth in improvement. You don’t fix him, as I said before, he’s stubborn, but he finds his own rationale getting weaker and weaker each time he tries to argue why he should go out for drinks tonight. And then when things break and you’re telling him just what he means to you, he’s finding himself falling into you like a damn safety net.

And once he’s got you he is not letting go.

Protective is one thing, this man is clingy. Like Velcro. But he’s a brat and he’s not going to let you tell him how needy he is, it’s just a coincidence that he’s always by your side. He’ll say he’s “keeping you in line” its “your fault” because you’re in his way, but you both know he’s been following you around on his own fruition. He’s attached to your hip at this point, literally. He has a particular affinity though, and that’s hugging you from behind. He just comes up like he owns the place and wraps his arms around your midsection, shoving his face into the back of your neck with the biggest sigh he can muster. And if you reach up to play with his hair that’s it, he’s going to drag you to whatever couch is closest and have an impromptu nap session.

Also did I mention he’s petty? Because he is. And he’s annoying unlike anything. You go to sit down in a chair? He’s already seated in it, patting for you to come into his lap. You want to try a bite of his food? He’s making you take it from his mouth. You need to shower? He’s asking to come so he can keep you company. And if you let him join you, he’s 100% sitting there watching while going on about how “you missed a spot” just to see how irritated you can get.

Letting him come into the bathroom with you when you shower is like making a deal with the devil. This man is going above and beyond for your attention while you’re trying to focus on the task at hand. He’s definitely offering to help you out, saying he can scrub your back for you and all that, it’s up to you whether you let him join or kick him out.

Either way after you’re done he’s so soft and tender, wrapping you in a towel and drying your face off, saying you look like a drowned rat while also telling you that you’re the prettiest thing he’s ever seen. He ruffles your hair with the towel just to squeeze it around you and grab you by your waist, pulling you until you kiss him. But if you’re still mad at him he’ll keep drying you off and messing with you until he can get you to crack a smile, and then he’s peppering kisses all over your cheeks as you push his face away.

He’s a nuisance, but he’s your nuisance, and you wouldn’t have it any other way.

Ummm anywho that’s all I got 🙏

[randomalistic]

Anyways here’s a rambling infodump thing about all the similarities between Spamton and Turbo and then some. (you should bully me for this)

My fixation on both of them… they feed into eachother.

3 foot tall FREAK !!!!!

THE INSANE SMILER…

Glitchy and pixelated

Full of envy, pent up hatred, DESPERATELY CRAVES REVENGE.

Kinda ugly </3

Or at least. Unconventional!

Used to drive a car when he was popular

I know there’s a difference between being a car spokesman and being a racer but it’s close enough <3 Spamton would not know how to drive a cungadero they just told him to pose in there and smile. Ok Headcanon OVER !!!!

Had it all in the 80s/90s before losing the spotlight

Turbo did his bullshit in 1987 (actual road blasters release year) and Spamton did his bullshit in 1997

Only really known as an unspeakable rumor and lives in infamy

It’s more like everyone “moved on” from Spamton and forgot about him (or at least tried to forget about him…) where with Turbo what he did was so bad that he’s only known for that ONE thing

Goes in hiding for decades

Spamton has his alleyway dumpster, and maybe other areas of cyber city with low traffic. Turbo’s hiding was implied to have been in the depths of game central station until Sugar Rush was plugged in. (Which I think was asked about in an AMA) Both are like. ~30 YEARS of hiding 💀

Would go any length for the same attention again

The interesting thing about this is Turbo DOES win. He does get that attention back by disguising as King Candy and being able to race again, and he keeps it for however long Sugar Rush was around for before the events of the movie. Spamton never gets it back…

But at least Spamton doesn’t get INCINERATED so I’d say he’s better off, even if the best outcome is him becoming an item

Dependent on some kid for his plan to work

Although Spamton’s relationship with Kris (dependent on them helping him) is pretty different than King Candy’s relationship with Vanellope (dependent on her not interfering) I still think it’s funny that they both have beef with children

Later attempted murder of said kid

Quality villains out here not even hesitating to kill kids to get what they want !!!

Imitated/fabricated identity

Spamton imitates Swatch, Turbo fabricates (?) King Candy

Stupid catchphrase

NOW’S YOUR CHANCE TO BE [TurboTastic!]

BOSS BATTLE FORM IS FUCKKKKED

They essentially have the same monologue of “THANKS TO YOU I'M MORE POWERFUL THAN EVER!! But it's not enough... so I'm going to kill you anyways"

I think King Candybug’s Face resembles SNEO in a weird way. Mostly just the big eyes and weird nose and THE SMILERRRRR. They have very similar vibes! I will stop myself now!

Virus/malware adiacent

Turbo literally claims he’s a virus by the end of the movie and Spamton is Spamton

Critically Acclaimed Tumblr Man (and hated)

From my RESEARCH. (Aka. Looking up art of him) Apparently a lot of people on tumblr liked Turbo in 2013. And those people have since become spamton people (perhaps ……) I guess that is me now too. Really unfortunate

Lore ties into a real life video game (Petz & Road Blasters)

In the sweepstakes spamton was kinda confirmed to come from a Petz game. I also didn’t know road blasters was Real until I started looking into it . (TurboTime is fake tho) But there’s a very specific similarity for you. Fucked up characters blurring the lines into real life my beloved

Rivalry/broken friendship with Those similar looking fellas (I’m running out of brain power here)

Spamton had the Addisons, which were like his friends? Fellow advertisers. Looked a bit like him, just taller with different colors. Spamton left them after becoming a big shot because he thought he didn’t need them anymore…

Turbo had the “turbo twins” (the 2 other blue racers in his game) idk if that’s their official name cuz they kinda barely exist in canon.. I think it’s popular fanon that Turbo is shorter than both of them, but that’s actually not true. But I’m still gonna count it. Anyways he KILLED them when he got turbotime unplugged. THEYRE DEAD.

Extreme temperature related death (is this a stretch)

Less of a similarity and more of an interesting contrast

Turbo burns to death when he’s INCINERATED in diet cola mountain. I could ramble about this a lot but. That’s for my second account

And Spamton NEO (in snowgrave at least) is FROZEN SOLID by noelle. He shouldn’t have asked for that ice cream man

Anyways I get similar vibes from those guys..

I hope they explode.

Also thinking more about this is making me realize how similar in concept deltarune and Wreck it Ralph are. As in, those apps and computer programs in the computer lab ? Yeah they’re alive and theres a whole ass cyber city and mansion and theres a ton of little guys living in there! (And same goes for the card kingdom in chapter 1)

Like if there was a dark world created in an arcade, it would probably look something like the WIR world. In a way, lightners would be the “players” because everything the game characters (darkners) do is to serve the players. I’m just saying !!!! These pieces of media are both Really Good!!!

[traffic-light-eyes]

Ninja as influencers

My previous post got me thinking, and now I have to write this down.

Kai:

He for sure has Twitter/Chirp and uses it regularly. Very popular. He also has the ninjago equivalent to Instagram and is also very popular there, too. I could imagine him having a yt channel and doing silly vlogs and the occasional game, but that's about it. The other ninja were a bit weirded out by the vlogs at first because they didn't really want to feed into the whole idolizing the ninja thing, but realized that they could show the world that they're just. People. Normal people who save the world sometimes but are normally just passed out on the couch. They all love being in his vlogs now. When he records something embarrassing, he makes absolutely certain that the person it's of is okay with it being posted. Like, he gives them weeks to think about it. He has a video of Zane singing let it go (due to Jay's programming skills), and he was ecstatic to be able to post it. He's also a tiktok star. He does the silly dances and lip-syncing.

Nya:

She has Chirp but doesn't use it for social media purposes? If that makes sense. Like, she mainly only scrolls through her friends' chirps and responds to those. She gets into the groove and made a really sweet and chill community once the people that were only there for the "inside scoop" of the water ninja's life left. Now there's just her friends and a bunch of nice people. She comments on and rechirps? a lot of fanart, though. She has an Instagram but only to comment on Kai's posts with a thumbs down. She has a tiktok. It's secret. She posts little edits about her artwork or mechanics. It's fairly popular. She sometimes uses the filters and makes videos using them but never posts them.

Cole:

Similar to Nya, he has a Chirp account but doesn't really use it much. He'll respond to fanart and fans, but he only really posts occasionally. His posts normally consist of song recommendations or riffs of his friends. He threads callouts when he feels especially petty. It's pretty chill. He probably has a secret second account for art. He doesn't want people to like his art just because he's the earth ninja, so he made a second account. He has a tumblr too. I don't make the rules. He tries to stay in the loop with everyone's thoughts and shuts down the gross people. He's pretty well-known on the site. He likes reblogging the ship content and misdirecting people because it's funny. Pixal found him drawing techno and he scrambled for an excuse but she silently put a finger to her lip, winked, and left. He was very confused. She was absolutely dying on the inside from laughter because she knew of his account but wanted to freak him out. He couldn't look her in the eye for a week because he thought she thought he shipped them or something. She purposefully spoke to him often. He kept trying to explain, but Pixal always had an excuse to leave or change the subject before he could say it.

Lloyd:

He has Chirp. He has tumblr. He has ao3. He's not allowed on Instagram. He has a yt channel where he exclusively talks about comics and games. On his Chirp, he is completely unhinged some times, and other times, he posts cute animals he finds on missions or on patrol. He found a stray cat once and named her mittens because a follower commented it. He has #mittensmonday, where he posts a picture of her. It's always trending on Monday. His tumblr is once again about games and stuff, but he has a semi-secret side blog for Ninja Shenanigans where it's theorized that it's him, but no one has proof and he doesnt give a direct answer. He has unknowingly reblogged and messaged Cole on multiple occasions because he doesn't know about the Secret account. Cole doesn't know what to do. His ao3 account is mostly to check up on what people are thinking. If he sees something unsavory, he immediately logs off because that's him. Avid tiktok enjoyer. He could make a video of just him staring at the screen, and it would go viral. He finds it hilarious. It's his goal to find the most obscure thing to post and for it to finally not get viral.

Zane:

He has Chirp, but he hasn't used it. Either that or he uses it so terribly incorrectly. I could be convinced that he has a cooking yt channel. He'd call it something nerdy or informational, but people kept chirping about it calling him cookingmama, and he doesn't get it? But due to Jay's persistence, he changed his @ to cookingmama.

Jay:

He has Chirp. He uses it to keep up with the world + just talk to fans. He has a gaming channel and a Twitch account. He streams at least once a week. He loves it! He has a pretty chill community, and he often asks his friends to play with him. He makes sure that the games he play with them are suited to them first. He doesn't ask. He just knows. He picks action-based games for Kai - maybe LoL or, like, Left 4 dead. He plays silly smart games with Nya, like Portal or Keep talking and nobody explodes (they are ridiculously good at this). He and Cole would play scary games. They exclusively play them at night; phasmaphobia has caused many of the ninja to awaken to a shriek. Comfy and typically non-violent games are his and Lloyd's go-to. They'll play Minecraft or stardew for HOURS before they realize the sun is coming up. He and Zane play semi-stressful cooking games, or Zane is just there for commentating. They'll be seen playing overcooked or cooking simulator (they always play that one with a challenge somehow). He makes silly follower goals, and he has unfortunately had to do many, many things because his followers keep rising.

Honorary Ninja, Pixal:

She has an account for every platform that the ninja have just to crowd control + to support them in their comments. She rarely, if ever, posts anything aside from commenting on her friends' posts. Hc that Borg owns every platform, so she uses that to weed out the weirdos by asking him to make the platform very buggy on their device specifically. It's only a matter of time before they delete the app, and she loves watching the downfall via their posts and complaints about the website. She knows of everyone's account, even the Secret ones. She never lets them know that she knows of them, even if they do something strange because of it (check Cole's). She loves messing with them. If someone posts something recently, she conveniently talks about it the same day and gives them whiplash because what are the chances that she said that today. She's the go-to gal if there are any tech issues on stream or during editing.

Here ya go! Hope you enjoy my brainrot <3

[animentality]

It's tough because I hate the Astarion haters on Reddit, who are just misogynistic and homophobic and dismissive of the character because they hate how gay he acts and also how many women love him.

but I also hate BookTok Astarion fangirls who feel the need to assert how superior Astarion is on every fucking Gale, Wyll, Halsin, Shadowheart, Minthara, Lae'zel, Karlach or pretty much any BG3 video at all. Like we get it. He's white.

And then I'm ambivalent on the Tumblr Astarion fans because there are the people who simply like him and make fun art and fun meta analysis about him, and then there are the people in my inbox currently telling me that Astarion's Ascended ending is morally correct and it's not a bad ending for the character, and if I disagree, then I hate women.

You're correct that I hate women, but it has nothing to do with Astarion.

Also, I once again point out, that your own husbando literally tells you outright in both endings that being Ascended ruins/ruined who he used to be and also your love for one another.

Your man literally says that your love would have been corrupted by becoming his spawn, and you still cling to the idea that your character is living happily ever after.

He's not making you a vampire queen, he's making you a vampire pet. And it's fine to like that ending. I don't care if you LIKE bad, unhappy endings. That is your prerogative. But you are simply incorrect if you say that it's the "happy" ending for the character, when it clearly is not.

No one ever said you had to use your skull for anything other than cold cut storage, I just don't see why it's even necessary to argue your point to me.

Stay in your Astarion echo chamber, and block me. I don't have time or energy to block all of you.

Anyway.

It sucks because I really like Astarion, he's my favorite love interest.

I really enjoy his storyline and his growth as a person and how sweet he is. He's also very funny. All the companions have great voice acting behind them, but Neil really knocked it out of the park, and I honestly think the character would be far less popular if they'd picked any other actor.

But the fandom around him is just...awful.

It's a mixed bag of normal, unnormal in a fun way, and unnormal in a "you need to fucking step off in this Walmart bitch" way.

It's why I'd rather interact with Dark Urge and Gortash fans.

Much smaller subset of the fandom, so I don't have to deal with the generic crazies, and we're all such freaks that we don't feel the need to go around acting like Gortash is a good person.

I also only ever see people saying these two are fucking disgusting and horrible and I'd murder them in real life and honestly, true and based.

No happy endings for those two, and that's fine for me. In fact, it's great.

See, Astarion girlies, this is called...knowing your ship doesn't deserve a happy ending after all they have done, and knowing it wouldn't be a happy ending if they got together, but being able to acknowledge that and not get bent out of shape trying to justify it.

Stop tying your irl morality to your tastes in fiction.

I never said that liking the ascended ending made you a bad person in real life.

I just said that pretending it's good and happy and great and not continuing the cycle of abuse, is factually incorrect.

And it is.

Every single bad ending for all the love interests is literally continuing the cycle of abuse. Why would Astarion's be any different?

But maybe I'm being bold in assuming you even know the other love interests exist or have stories. Maybe you don't even know the general story of baldur's gate 3, because it is, as you say, the vampire dating sim, and it's definitely not about anything other than banging the sexy vampire.

Media literacy weeps.

Anyway.

Not ruining my enjoyment of the game.

Just my general tolerance for the fandom that is not Durge and Gortash obsessed.

[the-hydroxian-artblog]

Hi there I really super incredibly love all your really stupid funny but also really freaking cool sonic art I love your style and the dialogue is so batshit insane I can't help but read them out loud to anyone else in the room whenever I see them so anyways on that note would you be cool with me voice acting some of them into a little video and posting it (you can see it before I post it just to make sure it's all good 🙏) (I am very inspired) (it also just might not happen if I forget) (I love your art btw

Feel free!! This goes to anyone on tumblr and twitter, etc; you have full permission to dub my sillies! I love seeing people's interpretations of stuffs

[meetinginsamarra]

mayprompts2024 #17, chaos

Read parts 1-12 on AO3 here

Part 13 only on tumblr so far

++++++

The Perfect Place - Part Fourteen

Sherlock had morphed into a stalagmite, standing frozen on the spot, unable to do anything about the chaos that would undoubtebly ensue after John had opened the door of the fridge.

John’s piercing shriek had also pierced Sherlock’s ears and cut deeply into his brain.

Great, you utter, utter, stupid arse! How could you forget about this? Now John who has been so far so accepting of all of your quirks and weirdnesses will think you are an insane cannibalistic murderer and he will run to the hills immediately. Sherlock berated himself. All you’ve achieved so far has been in vain. You’ve cocked everything up. Everything!

“There’s a head in the fridge!” John called out. He had involuntarily jumped backwards and away from the fridge, leaving the door wide open.

“John, I…”

“A severed human head!”

John’s eyes moved to and fro like someone watching a tennis match. From looking at the head that resided on a chipped porcelain platter with a colourful and corny floral design on it to looking at Sherlock who had taken on a similar complexion like the dead head (bloodless and grey-ish). Then back again to the head (checking if it was still there and not some PTSD-related hallucination) and then back again to Sherlock (checking if he was still there and not some PTSD-related hallucination).

“It’s not what you think, I…”

“You stored a fucking severed human head in your fucking fridge like a fucking cannibal and nearly gave me a fucking heart attack you absolute fucking madman! You could have given me a fucking warning, you know? Jesus fucking Christ!” John panted heavily as if he had just run a marathon.

Sherlock’s face displayed a stunning and drastic change of colour within the three seconds of John’s rant. From grey deathly white pale to hot pink burning red.

(The reason for this was that Sherlock’s brain had switched into semipermeable word pattern recognition and now suffered from input overload.)

(Meaning that Sherlock had tuned out all of John’s words apart from “fucking”. His eyes were glued on John’s lips that repeatedly formed the fucking word and the Mind Palace ignited with the blaze of a nuclear explosion.)

Sherlock jumped forward and slammed the door of the fridge shut, turned around and barricaded the door with his back, now facing John who had recovered from the shock but still gaped at Sherlock in disbelief.

“Is this the rest of the flatmate-candidate you've spoken about?” John asked.

“No, he’s not.” Sherlock babbled. “It’s for an experiment…”

“You severed someone else’s head then for this experiment of yours?” John lectured sternly, “That’s a bit not good, you know?”

(Due to the current thick clouds of smoke from the burning Mind Palace, Sherlock missed the tiny twitch in John’s right corner of the mouth.)

“What? No! I mean, yes! I know that it’s not good to kill people,” Sherlock started sweating.

John advanced slowly until he stood just one foot away from Sherlock who pressed his back even harder against the fridge’s door.

“Did you use the Turkish scimitar to decapitate him? You can tell me all about it!”

“I didn’t kill him, John! Really! Or anybody. Ever.”

John leant forward and whispered into Sherlock’s (lobster-red and firy-hot) ear. “You can confide in me. I’ll treat it as a case of doctor’s confidentiality.”

Sherlock’s heart pounded like the drums of a marching band. (A very big marching band.)

“It’s not what it looks like.” He said weakly.

John put his hands on Sherlock’s shoulders and pushed them softly against the fridge. He kept whispering, bringing his mouth so close now that his lips brushed against Sherlock’s ear lobe.

“I know that, of course. But seeing you all flustered and freaking out like this is really funny.”

“What?” Sherlock gasped. “You didn’t… You!”

John retreated his face and Sherlock was already loathe to lose the delicious contact of John’s lips.

“I’m a doctor, I can see when someone died of a lead poisoning and was decapitated post-mortem. You should have seen your face!" John started laughing out loud.

Sherlock regained his composure admiraby quickly, feigning indignance and feeling insulted. He pouted (the child-like moue made John laugh even more) and replied petulantly. “I could have administered the poison to kill him.”

John looked Sherlock into the eyes, stating calmly, “No, you haven’t.”

Sherlock leant forward to get closer to John’s delectable lips and breathed, “No, I haven’t.”

John bridged the gap and his lips touched Sherlock’s, light as a butterfly’s wing.

“Yoo Hoo!” The voice of an elderly woman suddenly called from the sitting-room. “Boys, are you in the kitchen?”

As if struck by lightning, Sherlock and John jumped away from each other, landing awkwardly to the left and right side of the frigde, fiddling with their hands and both sporting beet-red faces. Sherlock coughed and John cleared his throat.

A nice and frail looking old lady entered the kitchen, beaming at John. “Oh, hello, my dear.” Turning to Sherlock, she said, “Won’t you introduce me?”

“This is my landlady Martha Hudson,” Sherlock croaked, “and this is…”

“Dr. John Watson of the Fifth Northumberland Fuseliers, pleased to meet you.” John felt that he needed to impress the landlady so he adopted his military stance and saluted smartly.

“Oh, you’re a dashing young man, aren’t you?” She chuckled, clearly delighted.

(Not only Mrs. Hudson was impressed though. Sherlock was very much impressed as well and made a mental note to ask John about his military uniform.)

Mrs Hudson looked from Sherlock to John and back to Sherlock. A knowing smile formed on her face.

“I can see why you like him, Sherlock. He’s right up your street.”

Both men averted their eyes, quickly looking elsewhere. Sherlock felt his head turning red for the umpteenth time (wondering if he would ever regain his normal complexion) while John was terribly interested in a blue spot on the ceiling. Both remained silent.

“Oh, you silly boys, don’t be so shy!” Mrs Hudson grinned. “Will John be your new flatmate, Sherlock?”

Sherlock locked his eyes on John’s face. “I don’t know. Will you?”

John stared right back. “Yes, of course. With pleasure if you’ll have me.”

Sherlock beamed all over his face.

“There’s a second bedroom upstairs, if you’ll be needing two.” Mrs Hudson winked at John.

Sherlock chimed in. “I don’t know. Will we be needing two?”

“No, I think your bedroom will be the perfect place to sleep in. Now that you’ve bought the king-size bed, right?”

They engaged in a heated session of lecherous eye-sex.

Mrs Hudson groaned impatiently. “Boys, just kiss already!”

So they did.

It would have been very rude to not follow the old lady’s bidding, wouldn’t it?

🛏🛏🛏🛏🛏THE END🛏🛏🛏🛏🛏

+++++

The Bed Shop Boys say goodbye and will be very busy with testing the Royal Metropolis Deluxe once it is delivered to 221b.

Thank you all for reading, commenting and liking this AU. I had a lot of fun with writing these silly funny cringy scenes!

+++++

tagging some people @calaisreno @totallysilvergirl @lisbeth-kk @peanitbear  @raina-at

[ardenation]

THOUGHTS ON (some of) SWEET TOOTH SEASON 3

Just my rambles. Also I only remembered sweet tooth existed 2 days before the third season came out so I quickly re-watched season 2 and then season 3 right after AND WHEN I TELL YOU I HAVE THOUGHTS ON THIS SHOW.

spoilers under the cut

Okay, I can't remember which order the episodes are so I'm winging it here and just word vomiting. in my defense my best friend is away camping and I have nobody to yap about this to so tumblr gets it instead.

The first thing I can remember is that whole thing with the bat kid. OH MY GOD. that poor kid man. it's so awful how his parents raised him to believe that what he was was unfit for society, below humans, and not natural. no kid should have to grow up like that. I don't completely blame the parents, but there were some very, very bad decisions made. and the fucking scene where the dad tries to cut off the baby's hybrid traits??? I got SO reminded of when Gus' antler was cut off. baby boy was mutilated. but the difference between the scene with the baby and gus was that nobody was there to stop it from happening. nobody was there to wrangle the saw out of that guy's hands. bruh. tears. I fucking hate it here.

also live laugh love Rani <33

uhh I dunno what comes after that so let's jump to the boat episode! *laughs nervously*

That. freaking. episode. broke me. I didn't even want to keep watching after that (lie) because it was just so incredibly awful. just when they walked onto that boat for the first time and It was dead silent? goosebumps. especially after finding that dead body. by the way, this is when I started to dislike Dr. singh. bro fell way off after Rani left. anyway, I did not trust Darwin AT ALL when he was introduced. I thought he was shady as all hell. Glad I was proved wrong in the end, though. not important. let's talk about those dead bodies and what Gus had to do because that is a whole rodeo.

I admit, when I first heard he was going to have to find and toss dead bodies overboard my first thought was 'FUCK yes trauma angst trauma angst trauma angst' because what can I say, it's how my brain works. it started off pretty chill, the deer boy doing some nice yardwork and tossing the flowers overboard. okay. this is fine. oh, shit, now he's found dead bodies. oh my god he's crying. oh my god i'm crying. MY BABY. MY BABY BOY, WHY WOULD THEY DO THIS TO YOU?! anyway that was probably the most fucked up thing I have ever watched in my life. kill me. kill me- and the fact that he kept all the people's little things as ways to remember them? what the fuck. what the hell netflix. why would you do this. he's just a little kid. I'm going to kill someone. ALSO I fucking KNEW Darwin was going to get sick. I was watching it with my little sister, and when he popped up I went 'bet you Gus is gonna look away and darwin's finger is gonna start twitching' then BOOM. also, that makes it so much worse. at this point I was like, how many more people is this poor kid going to to lose? WHY IS HE SO TRAUMATIZED???

hahaha. boy oh boy.

side note, why was Siana and Birdie actually so cute? I would've loved for their relationship to be explored more before... yk. and Nuka?? my baby. my darling. she means everything, actually.

wait what happens next?? idk

episode 7 time! or at least the end of it.

first of all, FUCK YOU DR. SINGH. I LIKED YOU AT THE START BUT NOW?.ALL THIS DESTINY BULLSHIT 'it's my destiny to kill gus' BRO YOU JUST SAID YOUR DESTINY IS TO MURDER AN INNOCENT CHILD?? WHAT IS GOING ON IN YOUR BRAIN. THIS IS WHY RANI LEFT. and when Adi was getting closer and closer to stab Gus, when he was screaming and kicking, I was actually going to vomit and cry. what the actual fuck. why is this show so incredibly messed up. it's not even funny. this is the most disturbing shit I have seen in a while which is saying a lot. the sheer horror of the things in this show once you start to think about it is insane. anyway before that whole thing I genuinely thought 'hm I think that blood on Adi's knife in the vision thing is actually big man's blood because he probably protected gus' and I was half right? I was not expecting Birdie to be killed AT ALL. It totally took me by surprise. once again, this show is so horrifying and sad. Gus crying over Birdie. i'm going to die. he's an orphan. why is this stupid world so mean to this kid?? he's turning into fucking Peter Parker for god's sake! I really, really thought big man was going to die in that cave. and imagine if he did? Gus would've lost both his parents AND his father figure in just a few months. I would've lost my mind. anyway. birdie's dead. jesus fucking christ. WHY. JUST WHY. NETFLIX, STOP HURTING MY BOY.

Alright, let's see if I can remember literally anything that happens in episode 8.

It was such an emotional rollercoaster fr. I felt like I was getting emotional whiplash every five seconds. he's gonna die! wait, he's gonna live! now this guy is actually gonna murder Gus! wait, now this guy turned good and saved him! holy shit, everybody is going to die- holy shit EVERYBODY IS DEAD! wait, Gus cut himself to bleed on a tree and now they're alive! oh my god, Gus finally snapped! wait, now his dead dad is popping up and convincing him to save people again! OH MY GOD BECKY IS DEAD! WAIT OH MY GOD SHE'S ALIVE! (I think that one was the worst) NO is big man going to die on that mountain?? oh good he's not! omg jordan actually died in the crash!

....there was no resolution to that one. good riddance. sorry Jordan fans.

and then we had the whole reveal of Gus being the narrator the whole time- how tf did I not predict that?? Also, am I the only one who doesn't like stuff that does those huge timeskips where it shows the main characters when they're old. is it just me who doesn't like it. okay i'll go

let's talk about Gus and Wendy for a second. honestly, throughout the whole of season 2 and three there was a little nagging voice in my head saying 'it's a boy and a girl interacting.... you know they're going to end up together' and I would tell my head 'stfu, I wouldn't really like that because there are no good girl boy friendships in any media ever that's completely platonic (mostly, anyway)'. I was hoping SO SO badly Wendy and Gus would stay platonic besties forever, simply because it's cute and stuff like that barely happens. praying to GOD. but I knew deep down it was hopeless from the start. I don't like when media does that. 'oh, look! it's a boy and a girl of the same age meeting as kids! OBVIOUSLY the only possible route to go from here is romance, RIGHT?' I mean i'm biased as a gay enby chronically online person who thinks these stereotypes are shit but it's true. don't get me wrong. I love wendy. I love her so, so so much. but just- WHY?! I was at least hoping it would be somebody we didn't know or something. oh well.

i mean, I guess they only held hands a few times and sat together as old people, so maybe there's a tiny little chance it wasn't romantic? but they also had grandkids. yk what fuck canon. they're old besties. I think they'd be cute either way but I just prefer them friends.

SO. the sweet tooth fanfic community. it's admittedly nonexistent. I went to check the tag earlier and like- what?? it's ALL weird shit. there was like three good ones but just like why Is that all of what's in our fandom?? guys, we have not done well.

I call upon all ao3 authors and encourage them write sweet tooth (if you want to). It doesn't even matter if it's a short fluffy or angst drabble, we just need to wash the weird shit out. go ahead and post that 200 word interaction you wrote between big man and Gus in the aftermath. we need more good fic in this fandom, DESPERATELY.

and why did the writers put Gus through so much. like his dad dies, he's captured, traumatized, mutilated, shot in the leg, shot in the back, traumatizedx100 on the boat, watches his mom get murdered to protect him, has his father figure almost die multiple times, has a scientist try to kill him with a knife while holding him down multiple times, fucking snaps, and idek. WHYYYYYY. WHAT DID HE EVEN DO TO DESERVE THIS?? WHAT DID ANYBODY DO IN THIS SHOW TO DESERVE ALL THAT HAPPENED TO THEM?????? man....

I think that's all that's in my brain? this wasn't really a review just me spitting words.

moral of the story, I have adopted Gus and that is that. if you managed to get through all this you have a longer attention span than everybody I know combined when they try to listen to me ramble so congrats lmao

and I know I only brought up a few things but don't even get me started on Zhang, Rosie, and her kids because I will not shut up. and Jordan. Jordan why did you do that. and Munaq, that poor guy. ANYWAY I gotta stop talking now cuz it's 9:45pm byeee

[aqg-arts]

Anyone wanna my 2 cents on Jade Shadows?

Spoilers bellow frens ;3

So, right off the bat (before I put my personal personal thoughts out there), we need to acknowledge the criticism and outright discomfort this quest had.

Some of the criticism this quest got is something I can agree with. Specifically; Jade Shadow's needed more time. 100%. Let them cook, or more importantly, let the story cook and maybe even burn a bit to give us some crispy, smokin hot parts.

The little footnote at the end of the quest saying we have 'more questions than answers'? We get it, you're self-conscious, but that doesn't give you an excuse for not giving me Stalker. PERIOD, BITCH.

Jest aside, srsly, we needed to know more about Jade, Stalker, what happened to them, baby Orion (Halo possessed me in that moment, iykyk), etc. People needed to get invested in the characters, especially because this is a quest so close to being like Sacrifice on its level of storytelling...

Had it been able to have just 30+ minutes longer.

Onto the 2nd part of the criticism, birthing sim:

I'll be honest, as someone who was thinking of even going into being a midwifery/allied health, it didn't freak me out as much as it did others. But that's just one side of it. The other is how people say Jade's agency was ignored.

I'll be honest, this is just wrong. It's not media illiteracy by any means, but rather pure ignorance. Why?

Because her agency is declared.

When?

"... you're going to be a father." OH, and the fact she literally wanted the baby. There are plenty of people who can explain it better than that, and whilst I acknowledge people may feel this way, this was, in fact, not what happened.

Also, this quest is not pro-life, nor is it anything related to that. If it was, I assure you, you would have a majority of the fan base up and walk. Take a chill pill. If you want to attack something for being pro-life, go help out at an abortion clinic with crowd control or smth. Because once you see that, you'll understand just how wrong you are.

It's not subtle.

It's not in between the lines.

It doesn't exist.

The end. Period. Fullstop.

The criticism is fair, but going so far as to say those are the undertones is just not on. Not only are you lying about something, but you are also disrespecting the very real women whom have had their agency denied in one way or another.

Now, that's not the only criticism about it, but those are just a few things you may see floating on tumblr. Again, both are ok and fair. But when you start to spread lies or ignore what actually happened, you're part of the problem, not the solution.

Now, onto the fun stuff!

Imo, aside from what was stated before, the quest was actually pretty fun and interesting. The pair make an interesting concept, especially now with the lil fugly bean, which has stolen a place in my cold, brainrotted heart. I think I like the Corpus Cap the most- pls marry me, pls. Oh, an Hunhow? Let me hug him. Let me give him a home on my ships. Let me tell him he can be my bestie!!!

Back to Stalker, though, I really hope we see more of him, especially now he's git a VA.

Speaking of, homie didn't get to speak often, but God did it hit home when he did. You can feel how desperate he is, then when he gets his answers, how lost he is. Finally, resolution and love ehen he names his lil kid at the end.

Music was on point, too. I can't listen to it tho bc Ik ima be sobbing lol. It was so beautiful!!!!!!!

Lorewise, however, I have so many fucking questions, but in the funny haha/good way.

Was jade pregnant b4 being a wf? If not, Stalker...

Why was their relationship shamed upon? Was Jade a Dax and him, well, him? Or was it because they weren't married? What was it that made the Orokin make em into Warframes? Also, Ballas, man, we know your hypocritical ass is in this shit too.

Also, Umbra and Helminth are confirmed to roam around the Orbiter, and vc Umbra is my main, this is a personal achievement. Now let us see it happen, and I'll be DE's 4 life.

But seriously, TL;DR:

Jade Shadow's was a good quest, it just needed to cook slightly longer. And, until we get more Umbra x Stalker from DE (bros b4 all), I'll be on AO3 in 3 (maybe 4) tags.

See in the next Stalker stan post :)