#also trying to figure out how I want to draw him!

[dontmixpaintinyourcoffee]

This one goes out to all the bitches who love some good Safehouse Era Horror. It's me, I'm bitches. I want Jon and Martin to be fucked up and eldritch but I want them to be fucked up and eldritch and loved

(Notes under the cut because I can't help myself. Heads up, I do go into some detail of how Jon gets injured so I can explain my thought process for how I designed his scars. All canon-typical and fairly clinical in tone.)

Here's how I picture Safehouse Jon!

He doesn't need glasses anymore by this point, so he should just be wearing empty frames, but I drew this before I settled on my glasses headcanons. This drawing looks better with the reflection anyways.

He hasn't gotten a haircut since before his promotion to Head Archivist. He doesn't love the weight of it on his neck, but he also uses it to fidget, and he really doesn't want to go through the whole process of cutting it. He's disliked haircuts since he was a kid (People: Bad. Small talk: Bad. Touching: Bad. Loud sounds: Bad. People talking all at once: Bad) and since his time with the Circus he's only grown more reluctant to go and get it done.

At this length his hair is naturally pretty curly but he is. Not taking care of it. I actually put a lot of effort into trying to make it look brittle and tangled (I have a lot of experience lol, my hair is quite thick and I've always hated taking care of it. Yes I am also projecting my feelings about going to a hairdressers onto him why do you ask.)

The various scars were a bit of a strange task, but anyone who has seen my takes on The Bad Kids knows I'm not averse to selective realism in my fiction. Easiest one was the neck, I always pictured Daisy making a vertical cut based on "through the voice box". The larynx is longer than it is wide, so I think Daisy would go for the method that dealt damage across the largest total surface area. Yes I am aware that I'm speaking the same way Martin does when he explains his corkscrew.

The worm scars were easy because I barely drew any. There are a few marks on his cheek, but they're just surface bites. I picture most of his encounter with Prentiss showing on his legs, particularly on the right side, with enough damage there that he starts using a cane after the incident to keep weight off his right leg. More research to be done on this particular detail.

Finally the burn on his hand from Jude. This was the weirdest one to figure out just because of the nature of the injury. How do you quantify the damage done to an epidermis by a living manifestation of sometimes-boiling wax that can heat and cool at will? I settled on it being a second-degree burn that healed supernaturally fast, containing the damage to the space Jude had direct contact with. He'd probably have some mobility issues there as well. I know there are ways to help with mobility and pain after a severe burn, but I don't know how much of it Jon would actually. Do. Like I said, definitely further research to be done on these last two.

Hey so I'm gonna ask you to stop and consider the horror of the watcher. The helplessness. The guilt. The inherent terror of being a spectator, a participant by proximity but not by action. The horror of not being able to look away, of being a bystander. Jon forgets to blink sometimes. But wouldn't it be so much worse if there were no eyelids at all? That's how I interpret the description of The Archivist being "All Eyes" :D

I love a good Many-Eyed Jon, so I whipped up my own interpretation here. I think the more he Becomes the more he starts to resemble the thing from the dreams. He has a lot more control of it in S5, but it still creeps up on him and he has to consciously go back to a human shape.

[0ann3]

It's Yuri x2 ALKJSHADKJHS (I'm so sorry if I accidentally did a double tag bcs I made a mistake on the previous post TToTT)

Anyway, obsessed with this AU that I couldn't help but also try after checking out others' OCs!!! I was supposed to only do one of them, but I've reached the point where these two cannot be separated and I must also throw the other if I'm using them in an au lolol

And I am very thankful for the full body pose references available in the drawing app I'm using since I can't properly draw figures in my phone-

More info about them under the cut (like, it's a lot of random ramblings and a huge wall of text that I'm going to apologize in advanceeee)-----

First of all, for the sake of my sanity, I will call Yuri Takeba as "Yu" and Yuri Haruto as "Yuri" LMAO

I think both of them really wouldn't mind if Quartz does something suspicious right in front of them. But.

If she kills in front of Yu, they would literally pretend that they saw nothing, laugh it off nonchalantly and will not tell anyone about it. While they look very calm, they are definitely going to try avoiding her as much as possible.

If she kills in front of Yuri, then he's going to tackle her down and turn her in to the authorities. Despite appearances, he is pretty strong and can fight multiple people at the same time. Also, for Yuri's second additional information, it's more like if his friend got hurt/killed in Quartz's schemes, then he'll do some investigations and gather evidences to confirm if she's the one who did it, and he'll either report her or take revenge.

Then for more info abt them in this AU!!!:

For YU

Their inventory simply consists of pen, their phone, and camera. They're simply using the camera since they thought it'll be a waste to leave it home collecting dust, and now they're taking random pictures to reminisce at in the future (but if something bad happens at school and they get to witness it firthand, then they're going to stop using it.) They're more of a random background npc who's there to fill the space in the academy. Their reputation is a bit neutral since they rarely do anything to stand out. They like causing mischief and teasing others, but only to those they know well/they're at least friends with .

For YURI:

His inventory consists of his phone and a swiss army knife. He doesn't really use the swiss army knife, nor show it around others. He thinks it could be useful for emergencies, but still doesn't pull it out when he needs to cut something and the scissors are missing. He's an npc that becomes more troublesome when more suspicious things happens. Neutral reputation, although his is a bit lower than Yu because how does he know other's usual schedule/routine???? Crush is also "???" because there's a small chance that he might admit to himself that he likes Azul? (Like, dang, I can't believing I'm outing the plans I had for this character in this AU and not on the more detailed info about my OCs LMAO) (It's a pure coincidence because on the personal fanfic that I wrote with him as the MC, he had like, a nice dynamic with Azul that I couldn't help but ship them as I go along with the story ToT) (But in this AU, as much as he would probably like to try asking him out, he thinks that he doesn't deserve such happiness and it'll be a waste if he ends up with him, that he uses an excuse of 'it's troublesome to try when there's so many girls wanting to ask him out already', so he's going to stick sa an npc) (In that small chance where he does became a rival though and he became protective of Azul, I think his elimination method would involve kicking him out of school or discovering one of his biggest secrets.)

Oh, and Yu wouldn't mind being called Takeba (because wow, there's so many people with Yu in their names-), but Yuri doesn't like being called by his last name that he'll most likely request to call him by first name or by a nickname (he has a good relationship with his family dw. It's more of something along the lines that he doesn't think that he lives up to his family name so he's trying his best to become someone who does)

No Yandere Simulator ? (TWST AU)

AU Information:

This AU takes place similar to Yandere Sim but with Twisted Wonderland but Taro is Azul and Ayano is Quartz. Her goal is to eliminate… AZUL ASHENGROTTO. Yeah, her goal is actually to kill Azul and NOT the rivals. The rivals being your OCs/sonass and they have to protect Azul from Quartz and her dumb elimination plans.

More info on Quartz + Tweels info

Q&A for OCs!!!

This is an AU just for fun!! lol I just had a silly idea. Here’s a template if you wanna make your own oc into the AU (rival or not)

ALSO THEY DONT KNOW IT'S QUARTZ bc she's just a nobody girl

Bro you can tell I was hella lazy with Azul idk he’s too much

Rival List:

Romeo by @skrimpyskimpy

Shuu by @oya-oya-okay

Chiyo by @inotonline

Sable by @twsted-void

Jovie by @jovieinramshackle

Finn by @thehollowwriter

NPC/Non-Rival List:

Elfie by @quartzelfgf

Higashikuramori Shin by @liyuviq

Jade Leech

Floyd Leech

Rizy by @rizdoodls

Yuuki by @theolivetree123

Joseph by @readsrandomstuff67

Yuubeni by @bunniehunn

Yuya by @cheerleaderman

Shuu and Silly by @sillybillymillyrilly

Superstar!! By @imafrealinrainbow478484

Viz (Vizzie) by @twistedwonderlandshenanigans

Yuhua by @distant-velleity

Nyx by @blackcat101

Gia by @ramshacklerumble

Yuuko by @silkkorchid

Moch by @thatsadguymochi

Faye by @faerieluvss

Yukana by @babyghoul138

Antoinette by @antoinettedoodles

AJ by @karamatsuboy-aj

Evelyuu by @h0neybane

Paloma and Hydris by @mhedusard

(Let me know if I made a mistake lol)

[coffeegnomee]

genuinely i think alot of kaboodle's actions on lifesteal can be explained by her scripted lore background. the world of scripted lore is fraught with the idea that "lore" is just... being miserable. it was something that made it difficult for me to get into ksmp (though i did eventually enjoy it), because it felt just so awful all the time. pointless arguments didn't tug at my heartstrings, it made me frustrated. but that's besides the point

i think maybe one of the reasons she takes everything way harder than she should and exaggerates relationships and disagreements is perhaps because she is drawing in past experience to be a good entertainer, in the way she is familiar with. which is so fair! we are formed by our backgrounds. it does unfortunately make it difficult to watch her if you're accustomed to the more ""live action"" sort of format lifesteal is usually in, where people seperate their characters from themselves a little less. but she has a good size audience that seems to fw it, so i dunno

that's just my take on the overuse of the word "betrayal" and such

agree but disagree. yes scripted is usually just being miserable but zam is just miserable all the time and his lore actually makes sense and is very entertaining to watch and he also separates himself from his character (to a degree). but when he is miserable he is consistently miserable while also doing some fun things to distract from the misery or making some impact on the server like cleaning up spawn while being miserable to chat. kab just sits around and talks and does fuck all. sorry. hating. a lot of hating below.

and it's annoying because she is miserable but then will go be fighting her inner demons of destruction, but then won't destroy because she doesn't want to be mean and she cares so much, but then she plans to destroy anyway but then she doesn't do it and doesn't have any consistency in any motivation or characterization and she's all over the place. every hour her emotional state is different and there's absolutely no effort at a throughline and everything before is just thrown out the window.

And it pisses me off that she does come from scripting because surely her characters on ksmp had some throughline and consistency.

and yet her inconsistency on ls does make sense bc in scripted you can plan and succeed with every plan you make when you are literally scripting the outcome.

but on lifesteal you can plan for something cool and fun and it can be taken away in an instant by the very same people you were trying to impress and that is hard and will send anyone into being tilted.

and trying to decide how to react to that is wildly difficult and i dont really envy them having to figure out what to do, but i do wish she would DO something. but that's also unfair because she is doing something, she's rebuilding. but while rebuilding she's going between wanting 4c to help her while also trying to convince him to betray his team while also trying to convince him to give her a heart without a fight while also planning to kill him while also reminding herself she has to be nice to him. so she's just using him. just say it with your full chest. you never cared about him and you just want someone else to do the work to get your own selfish self-pity plan back on the server.

you want to complain and then have someone swoop in and save you. and you dont want to make any effort to actually care about that person.

it's miserably sad and annoying to watch because lifesteal is about caring about people, and she goes on and on an on about caring *so much* but she doesn't give a shit about anyone but herself. and she lies to herself and and chat and insists that she cares.

and yes that's a rather consistent characterization to through at ls!kab but damn if it doesn't read like that at all and she went from genuinely apologizing to 4c to just using him flat out and reminding herself that she needs to use him and cant just kill him.

maybe its just that she's vilely unlikable. maybe that's the point in her scripted mind. make a hatable character. and yet her actions also speak to desperately trying to make a likable character whom youre sympathetic to, she tries desperately to guilt trip and pull at the heartstings about how shes just been betrayed so many times and life is so hard for her and shes so weak and how could you be mean to someone so pathetic and wounded.

but she's not likable at all. she doesnt care about a single other soul or what they care about. the second they put a boundary up she wants to run and leave, which, fair enough, actually a cool characterization of trauma but like also so abusive-coded. but in the end she chose to not abandon bacon as far as we can tell, but i can tell you give it two seconds and that thought will come back and she'll decide to betray him anyway. because nothing is consistent and nothing she says has any long term value. she just goes on the past five minutes to decide what she will do.

she's just so fake and that fakeness can be attributed to the character, but it only feels even more fake because she insists it's a character and not her as she turns around and does something that makes more sense for her to do as herself than the character. she is being two people existing on the same account, swapping out whenever necessary. but that's stupid. take responsibility for your actions and your emotions. stop blaming others.

and yes. it all goes back to how painfully different scripted mcrp is from unscripted.

and i know for damn sure that this will not be like this next season because she will learn from this season. or she doesn't. and that's what's so frustrating. the possibility that she never learns why lifesteal is lifesteal.

the possibility that she keeps writing asshole abusive characters that just get more abusive because of her own internal mental problems that lay unresolved and shoved under the rug like they aren't part of the character even though they are part of herself. she refuses to look at herself and acts like if just just acts hard enough they won't affect anything. they effect everything. you can't run from yourself when you are making unscripted content.

and yes. i am being really mean about someone who clearly has a lot of baggage. yes i am being mean about someone who is abusive as a defense mechanism and hates boundaries because of fear of being alone and all these things that are basically the bully being bullied at home type beat.

but she embraces none of it. doesn't even see any of it. thinks she has written a cute story with kazam, a cute ship that may be a little messed up but is at it's core cute.

it's fucking abusive and shit. it makes my skin crawl. zam is screaming to be let out of it and she thinks it's sunshine and roses. she is, to use the word literally, delusional about her actions. she thinks they are one thing when they are anything besides that.

but we do have one success story. and the trend goes that every lifestealer learns what lifesteal is by their second or third season. they all eventually get it. vi chose to do a very distinct character vs streamer in s4 and he crashed and burned to a degree unfathomable. and he learned from it. and he now says that was his favorite story he ever told. he see's how he's grown as a person because of it.

there is only hope in the future when it comes to kaboodle. lifesteal genuinely changes you and makes you grow. not because you choose to grow, but because it forces it out of you.

but in this moment im just constantly a ball of rage and constantly sent into sadness every time i watch. and she keeps interacting with my mains so im not going to just miss the story, and the progression is already happening, the kablantis shock is a genuinely lifesteal trauma moment for kab and is already changing her in good ways. this is the story, this is part of watching lifesteal. the meta conflict is what makes this server painfully unique. this difficult encounter with players that piss you off. because people in life are like this. people can suck and hurt each other and don't look at their internal mental state, they shove things under the rug and think they're fine and cause sorrow and pain when life gets difficult. that's life. encountering it as story really helps understand the people around you. to be more compassionate, be able to see when theyre hurting and chose to be kind anyway. to learn how to feel the negative emotions and process them and not run from them yourself. or learn how to stick up for yourself and put up your own boundaries and learn that you can. to figure out who you are. it's the best. and the worst. and leaves me hating until i realize it is interesting even though i hate it.

[ethtyn]

LET'S GO OUT WITH A BANG 🚦

taglist:

@ashiyn @single-malt-scotch @goodtimeswithetho @pebbltree @crabbunch @catmaidetho @amethyst-allium @stitchthesewords

sooooo ermm i guess i get to talk about this piece now YIPPEE

i am one of those people who's constantly trying to figure out what their own art style looks like LMFAO. i take frequent breaks from art due to mental health shit so it feels like every time i come back i'm trying to find my footing again.

that being said, i had a lot of caffeine yesterday and started this on a whim and it ended up being something i'm incredibly proud of. i think it helps that i've been redrawing old emotes for a friend's twitch channel, so figuring out which brushes i like right now was really helpful, and i ended up using my personal emote palette like...a lot. that pink in Etho's eye, the purple used for shading, most of the browns are all used in my own emotes. it's wild how much having colours already picked out streamlines things!

Etho is the one i started with, of course, and ended up being one that i went back to re-draw after i'd done...three? or four? more, because the sizing wasn't right and i wasn't happy with the posing. i still wish i could have conveyed him dipping his chin into his coat fluff a little better, but oh well. i thought of the little detail of him looking at Martyn's drawing at the last second (#ethtyn4life) and it made me laugh so i did it. points to you if you caught that!

Joel was the second - life!Joel has always been fey in my head, especially after that season when he just went batshit insane the second he turned red. can't explain it, that's just how it be. i tried to give him an air of subtle menace about him but i think he just looks sleepy 💀 i'd like to do these as individual, larger pieces at some point, so maybe i can work on that more then.

Grian was the third - he reminds me of a Lost Boy here and that wasn't intentional but the Lost Boys always kind of freaked me out and life!Grian's kinda freaky so i think it fits. his little smirk is so creepy and i love him.

i don't remember who i did next after this so we'll just go in order pfft

Bdubs is SO CUTE look at him. one of the few where i couldn't make a menacing expression work, and honestly with how good his profile turned out i barely mind. i did that side profile with no reference, y'all, idk what kind of crack i was on last night. what the hell. this was about the point where i started wanting to do little lore doodles for everybody so i added the clock face - i think it clashes with the red background but what can you do.

CLEOOOOOO CLEO CLEO. i LOVED drawing them, i think their design is one of my favourites of the bunch. her hair has always been snakes in my head and AGAIN i drew those with no reference, can you fucking believe that. i loved the little detail of some of the snakes poking at the people next to her, they're so cute hehe. also Cleo has freckles now, i'm so sorry but i don't make the rules. someone complimented the teeth in the reblogs and THANK YOU!! they're not quite anatomically correct but fuck it we ball and they look cool as hell anyway.

Martyn is so smug, i love him. points if you caught that he's looking at Cleo bc Double Life, i wanted to do something a lil different with him than just another straight up symmetry tool drawing and i think it fits. he is so eye-searing tho sir please tone it down.

Lizzie is fey just like her husband, and also she is smol. i don't think it's conveyed as well as i'd like here but i also didn't want her to look like a straight-up child so i did what i could. she is So Scary with those vacant blue eyes oh my god. and drawing her hair was sooooo fun i love long hair ahh

with Gem i basically smoothed out a rough design sketch i posted awhile back and i'm so proud of the little head cock she's got going on, she looks so cool. also her hair?? idk how i did that. i love her swoopy bangs so much.

Pearl is moth. Pearl will always be Moth. so she got lil antennae and big buggy eyes. drawing that hood was so satisfying, i used to try and draw Raven Teen Titans in high school and could never get the hood to look right so seeing this one come out perfectly was sooooo good. and of course had to include a teensy moon.

that's all i've got, i think - i feel myself crashing LMFAO. maybe at some point i'll come back and say more but here's this for now!

[seokminfilm]

tease | lee seokmin

🪄 pairing, lee seokmin x reader

🪄 warnings, lots of fluff, lowercase intended, lots of kissing & physical touch, pet names (reader calls seokmin "seok", and seokmin uses "baby" for reader), giggly seokmin & giggly reader, they're just too sweet your honor, seokmin soft hours

🪄 summary, in which you find out your boyfriend is a massive tease.

🪄 author's note, requested by my favorite cutie's g @realmofclouds!! when i read your request i almost started giggling aloud 😭 ALSO thank you all for 300 followers??? (305 now i'm crying) i had no idea i'd get ANYWHERE with this blog so thank you for all the love and support. you're the best lyrnation 🤍 now, without further ado, enjoy fluffy giggly seok 😋

🪄 now playing, agora hills, doja cat

finally resting after a long day, you plop down on your massive bed, snuggling into the pillows as you turn on your phone. it's been a tiring last few hours, as your workload has gotten a bit bigger after your promotions, and you've had late nights all this week.

taking one of the bigger ones and stuffing it between your legs, you hold it tightly, hoping it can replicate the feeling of your boyfriend's thick, muscled arms around you. you missed seokmin terribly all day today, and it made you sick just thinking about him, wanting to wrap your arms around his neck and cuddle with him until─

"there's my baby," seokmin's voice comes from the doorway, and you smile at it, stretching tiredly as seokmin gets the memo from your actions. he approaches the bed, kicking off his tennis shoes and stripping himself of his jacket as he falls on the bed beside your thighs.

seokmin presses soft kisses to your thigh, making you giggle as you put your hand in his hair, tousling his fading curls as you sigh. "it's like the universe knew i missed you really badly. i wanted to see you when i got home, you know?"

"i know, and i'm sorry. we had a late practice tonight, and i forgot to text you." seokmin explains, voice soft and apologetic as he leans his head on his hand, staring up at you with wide, sweet brown eyes as his massive hand covers your whole thigh.

"i guess i forgive you," you say teasingly, giving him a playful side eye as you direct your attention back to your phone. seokmin smiles, staring up at you as you continue to scroll.

"so, how was your day?" he asks, voice low and soft as he leans up against your thigh; his dark brown hair is spilled on the satin sheets, and his eyes flutter shut, lashes scraping his full cheeks as he beams up at ou seconds later.

wanting to be a tease to your boyfriend, you choose to playfully ignore him, pushing your phone closer to your face. seokmin sees this, and frowns slightly, moving your phone farther back so he can squeeze his way into your view again.

"did you hear me, baby? i asked about your day," seokmin's voice sounds so pitiful and shy that it makes your heart hurt (even though you and he both know he's playing along). you wouldn't be the first to give in to seokmin's cute antics─you always were, and today would be the day he would lose to you.

trying to focus on your game of solitaire, you ignore seokmin's questions again, choosing to adjust your body so you can push seokmin away from you. he watches you do it with a satisfying look in his eyes as if his pride knows you won't ignore him forever.

he follows your movements, slowly inching back to his place as he starts to pepper kisses up and down your thighs. biting back a laugh, you cover it with a measly cough, and start to squirm when seokmin sits up, kisses traveling up your collarbone and neck as he giggles in between every few pecks.

face still miraculously straight, you focus in on your phone. despite your personal wishes, your face starts to heat up the moment seokmin's eyes pause on your figure, slender fingers reaching out to tuck your hair behind your ear.

he's smooth with his movements, instantly drawing you away from the stupid card game on your phone and back to the reality of how attractive your boyfriend is.

"you're such a..." you sigh out, and seokmin just chuckles deeply, pulling you towards him as you swing your legs over his thighs, smiling down at him as he holds you in place on his lap.

"such a what, baby?" the question is so innocent, yet he stares at you with a hint of mischievousness in his eyes. it's so endearing, you think, and can't help but fall in love with it as you play with the curls forming on the nape of seokmin's neck.

with you and seokmin unable to hold back your giggles, you shake your head, sighing as you pull seokmin closer to you. "just stop giggling and kiss me, seok."

"whatever you say, baby." seokmin's voice gets quieter and quieter until he's silent, and the two of you study each other for a second, memorizing this moment and storing it in your head before your lips meet his. it's a warm feeling, coursing through your body as you hum into him. seokmin feels the same, desperately pushing into you to meet your eager lips.

pulling away, you gasp, finger tracing seokmin's top lip as you kiss the tip of his nose. his chuckle is like music to your ears, and the smile that breaks across your face should be illegal as you fall into his chest, sighing at impact.

"seok, you're such a tease." you giggle, and seokmin shrugs, still smiling as he lets you tug on his ears.

"says the one who was ignoring me this whole time." seokmin has a pout on his face, but you know he's just joking. smiling, you shrug, winking at him as you make a comeback.

"it was my turn to be the tease, anyways," you mumble, and seokmin laughs some more, eyes crinkling together as he shakes his head.

"i know," his voice is soft, back to that velvet tone he greeted you with earlier. aeokmin's eyes are filled with love as he looks at you, and you smile back at him, feeling the warmth of his gaze on your skin.

"tease or not, i'm glad you're here, seokmin." you whisper, a moment of tenderness peeking in. seokmin smiles, leaning his head on top of yours as he nods.

"same here, baby."

[quibbs126]

So I was attempting to practice the Cyberverse style Optimus and Megatron, though as you can see, I got a bit distracted at the bottom left, and sort of just had to put something else to fill up space

I actually started practicing yesterday at work, drawing on my cardboard sheets, so it meant I was a bit more practiced when I started here. Though annoyingly, since I elected to not go over my pencil sketches with pen, I could barely make out details in the drawings, and I could barely tell what I was doing on Megatron

It was also going to be more than just their heads, but not only was Optimus’ body taking up most of the canvas already, I wasn’t really sure how to draw it at the time. The stuff at the bottom right may have been for filling up space, but I also did need to try and at least practice their bodies

*sigh* the real struggle is making them 3D things. It’d be so much easier to figure out the shapes if I didn’t have to. But oh well, comes with the territory I suppose

But back to it, I think I did alright with the head sketches? They aren’t bad, but they feel slightly off, like I haven’t quite got them looking right

I probably need more practice, and to actually draw them full body. Also probably wouldn’t hurt to look at more Cyberverse fanart for more exposure to the style

I probably also need to start actually drawing characters more consistently, instead of drawing sketches of characters once and then never doing it again. It means I never fully get the hang of it and I keep not really making much of substance

But yeah, I feel like drawing them again at a later date, possibly even with lineless. I just don’t know what to draw them doing

But anyways, on to the bottom left

So I had finished the sketches, and my brain was like “well since we’re here, and we have helm designs right there, we could try making up fankid designs?” and eventually I gave in and decided to start sketching. I knew it’d end up on the final product anyways, but I had to give in to my impulses

Sorry, I’m sure people are sick of me bringing up this sort of stuff

Then with my first attempt, I ended up with something I actually quite liked. So I was like, might as well fully line and color

I still like the original sketch, so I’m gonna put it here, and also since I feel like the vibes are slightly different from the final

But then a problem arose after lining and going to colors. Namely that I had designed this on a whim and I had no deep thought as to what colors to use

After some tries I ended up with what you see here, but I’m not sure if I want to keep these colors. I’m not sure it fits the vibe the original sketch had

The blue middle piece I’m especially not sure on. I think it looks off, but I don’t know what to color it

Oh also, his purple isn’t exclusive to his helm, it’s his main color for the rest of his body too. At least that’s how it is in my head right now

Also as you may notice between the sketch and final, the eye shadow came later, mostly because I thought he didn’t have enough Megatron in his face. But also because of that, I hadn’t made the eyes and eyebrows with that in mind. So if I draw him again, those’ll get tweaked

I still in general don’t know if he looks enough like Megatron. I suppose I should be wondering more if he should look more like Optimus, since general shape wise he takes far more from Megs, but I’m also aware plenty of his colors stray more towards Optimus anyways

Oh yeah also, he has blue eyes here, but I really don’t know about that. I wanted to give him something other than blue or red, purple being my initial choice, but I was struggling with the colors in general and so right now he has blue. It works but I wonder if it looks too much like a fusion of their eyes

He needs more work, just like Overdrive I think. But he is here

No clue his name. I wasn’t even sure about his gender until drawing made me think “oh yeah that’s a guy”. I do have a name in my brain for a megop kid, that being Starcutter (which the two probably didn’t pick), but I don’t know if that works for him

I do think I’m going with that idea I posed yesterday (well not yesterday, but yesterday I said “what if I put it in Cyberverse?”) of him being the secret megop love child that no one but Megs knows about

I don’t know anything about him other than he’s probably on the Autobot half of Cybertron but was never really involved in the war much. To involve him in any plot, he probably comes over to Iacon after the war to try and make some name for himself

Also another idea is that he and Megatron met again during his multiverse adventures, in some universe where he was actually raised by Megatron, possibly where the Autobots and Decepticons never split because Optimus was able to properly reason with Megatron. They didn’t take him on their multiverse adventures, probably because Megatron knows he exists in his own universe and doesn’t know how to handle two versions, but also possibly because he died, I don’t know. But it was these encounters that led to Megatron attempting to search him out when he returned to his own universe. This also means Dead End and maybe Astrotrain knows about the kid’s existence, but they’re under the assumption they only exist in these wildly different universes, not their own. Which may lead to shenanigans

But yeah I haven’t solidified anything else really I don’t think. Should work on a name

And I think that’s about it for now? Yeah I should draw more Cyberverse I guess

[thewritetofreespeech]

BG3 - Taking care of sick Reader [p. 2]

prompt: I'm sick again. So in the spirit of the last one, I wrote a new version with Halsin and the teffer boys to feel better.

--------------------------------------------------------------------

‘Your head throbs in tandem with your own heartbeat. Pain coursing through your body with every stifled breath you take, as your tight chest struggles to fill with air. It had been a long time since you were sick. You nearly forgot how uncomfortable it was. Without the tadpoles protective qualities to shield you anymore, this new wave hit you like a stone wall. You almost wished to have it squirming mass back in your brain just to be over this. Luckily, you were not alone at least.’

Halsin

“How are you feeling my love?”

You open your eyes to see Halsin had returned home. The small cottage you share really just being one large room, so his presence was hard to miss. Even in your state.

You try to sit up, but the druid encouraged you to lay back down. “Don’t get up. You’ll need your rest. This bug going around is quiet the foe. Three more of the children have fallen ill to it.” You roll your eyes at Halsin. Though you loved helping with the children and orphans, you were also certain those little germ buckets are what got you sick. “Here, I made you some tea. The herbs and willow bark essence will help with the fever.”

Halsin helped you up now to drink your tea. The warm liquid soothes your throat. You felt a little better already. Still….

- Can’t you just heal me with your magic? I thought you were the best healer at the Grove.

Halsin barked out a laugh. “We’re quite far from the Grove now, my love.” He meant that both literally and figuratively. Their time away from the old druid sanctuary reaching further & further each day. “Besides, for all Oak Father has bestowed upon me to heal, there are some matters that even I cannot intervene. Nature must take it’s course in this.”

- That’s ridiculous.

“It is the will of nature.” You jump nearly out of your skin at the sound of Thaniel’s voice. His unending stare peering at you from the end of the bed. “Sorry. Did I forget to do ‘the knock’ again?”

You try to regulate your heartbeat again as Halsin carefully chastised Thaniel for entering without invitation and startling you. “We were worried.” He told Halsin. Still, he apologized and left your home moments later.

“Seems I’m not the only one concerned for your recovery.” Halsin teased when you were alone. “The children ask for you too. They made you this.” He then handed you a piece of parchment from his pocket. A crude drawing of you, the children, and bear Halsin lay upon it. Your heart suddenly softened for the little germ buckets. “Get some rest.” The druid then told you, before kissing your cheek. “I will be late tending to the other fallen, but don’t hesitate to call for me if you need. Though I am needed you are still my top priority.”

It warmed your heart to hear it, but tell him to go as others needed him too. You finished your tea and went back to sleep. As you drifted off it felt like someone was watching you….but you couldn’t be sure.

Dammon

“Sweetheart? Are you awake?”

You turn your head to look towards the door. A small sliver of light spilling through as Dammon slipped in. His brow knitted in worry. “How are you feeling?” He asked and you merely groan.

Dammon’s brow knitted deeper, and he reached forward to check your forehead. “I can’t tell if your fever broke. With these old forge hands, I’m not so good with temperature anymore. Do you still feel warm? Feverish?”

You shrug. You flicker between bouts of overheating and ice cold. Which probably meant that your fever was still on you.

“Sorry I couldn’t be here much today to take care of you.” He apologized. “With work being steady now it’s hard to get away. Even if I want to.” You tell him that it’s fine. You know his work was important and he had customer demands to meet. “I’d forgotten what it was like running it all on my own. I missed having you there.”

Dammon brushed the side of your face with the back of his hand. Calm. Soothing. “Shall I get you anything? New blanket? Fresh water? Have you eaten?” He seemed to want to make up his absence for the day in the next hour, but you quietly shush him away and tell him you just want sleep. He seemed disappointed in not being able to help but understood. “Well, I’ll be on the other side of the door if you need anything. Better yet, I’ll just check on you in a bit. See if you need anything.” Dammon leaned over a kissed your head before he saw himself out.

He indeed did come to check on you every hour. Seeing if you needed anything. Anything he could do. On his last visit he came in to bed with you for the night. Wrapping his arms around you in comfort to get some final sleep. Dammon needed his rest too after all. Lest you both be on the mend.

Zevlor

“How goes the siege my darling?”

You look up from your book as Zevlor came into the room. Hearing him come into the small shack you had made home before he announced himself. Removing his armor like any good soldier off the road.

You tell him you are fine. At least not being physically sick anymore. “That’s good.” He commented as he came to sit beside you. “Or it could just be that you haven’t eaten my cooking since the last bout.”

You chuckle at Zevlor’s joke and nudge him with your leg under the blankets. “I’m sorry there isn’t more I can do for you. Hellriders aren’t known for their healing. Except the occasional arrow wound.” You chuckle again and tell Zevlor that he’s doing fine.

“The priests at the temple did give me this.” He held out a small potion bottle. Likely for vitality or increased health. “And! This.” He then produced a shiny apple. “How about I cut it up for you and we’ll see if it’s actually your stomach or my cooking. Then, we’ll take a short walk for some fresh air. Can’t have you cooped up in here all day.”

You tell Zevlor that that would be lovely and let him offer you a kiss before he went to prepare your apple. You’re able to keep it down and at least walk to the temple from your home a few paces behind it on the patch of earth the priests let the former Hellriders call home. Zevlor cautiously by your side in case of any stumble or signs fatigue.

Rolan

“Shall I get you another blanket? Some tea?”

“Lia, Rolan said that they need their rest.” Lia tsked at her brother.

“What does Rolan know? Who do you think took care of you two when you were sick?”

“Surely not you,” the siblings flinch and turn to see Rolan in the doorway, “as we would all be dead given that you can’t follow basic instructions.”

“I was just trying to help!” Lia insisted.

“Rest, fluids, nutrient dense foods to keep the patient’s strength up, and this.” Rolan held up a vial he had clearly concocted on his own in the tower. “It’s what all the books say. Now leave Lia. A critical part of dealing with illness is quarantining the infected from others. You’ll be even less help if you’re sick too, and you’re much worse of a patient.” Lia growled at the wizard and stomped her feet out. Cal whispered a quick ‘get well soon’ to you before he fled after his sister.

Rolan tsked after Lia’s shadow. An exact copy of the gesture & sound she had made before, which made you wonder who had picked it up from who, before he came to your bedside. “Here. Drink this.” He handed you the vial as he lifted your arm to check your pulse. He noticed you examining it. The violet liquid inside the consistency of warm syrup. “I said drink it. Not look at it.”

You glare at Rolan as much as your tired eyes would allow but do as he said. The purple liquid even tasted like violets. It clung to your throat on its slow path down. Forcing you to swallow several times. “Here.” Rolan said as he handed you a cup of water. “That should help with some of the keyer points of this fever. From what I read anyway.” He seemed disappointed though. “Despite all my research there seems no cure for the common illness other than to rest & wait.”

- Your two worst qualities.

Rolan glared at you, but not nearly as fierce as he did with Lia. Playful even. “What can I say. I’m a man of action. I will not apologies for that.”

The wizard then reached over and brushed your clammy forehead with his hand. Careful not to scratch you with his claws; only his words. “I hate seeing you like this.” He confessed. His brow creased in worry. “I wish there was something I could do. Something to be useful.”

You reach out to take Rolan’s hand and squeeze it.

- You are doing something.

Rolan smiled. Letting you hold his hand for a bit more, and seeming equal in not wanting to let go, but eventually pulled away. “You should get some rest now. The medicine will help. I’ll bar the door from Lia, lest she try to ‘help’ again with one of her own concoctions.” His shoulders shudder at some memory.

You make a joke about princesses locked in towers as Rolan goes. A joke he does not find amusing and tells you he will be back later with more medicine & podge for supper. It’s the best thing to help as bland foods were less stressful on the stomach, according to the book. And who were you to argue with ‘the book’.

[disease-danger-darkness-silence]

Daniella Mestyanek Young is an expert on cults (she grew up in the Children of God cult), and she has a basic checklist of what makes a cult. Boy howdy do they mimic the warning signs of an abusive relationship:

1. Charismatic (not charming - charismatic. Donald Trump is not charming, but he draws people to him. That's charisma) leadership with a symbol of purity. In America that's usually a skinny Aryan woman, but not always. Leadership, not leader, as she explains later - decentralized cults are definitely a thing.

2. Worldview shift that makes you and the other people in the cult "special" in some way. Often divine, or chosen by God(s), but not always.

3. A mission that's sacred or holy in some way, whether that's Witnessing to others to spread the Good Word, or fighting the American Fight (IE: the military).

4. Self-sacrifices by members of the cult, usually of identity in some way, but often material as well - thing Scientology charging for classes and shit.

5. Limiting access to the outside world. In the military, you have to stay within a physical area near your base (I think it's 150 miles? Could be wrong) if you're in the US, and there's huge blacklist of locations you can't go regardless. They also purposely make it much cheaper to live on-base so you feel like you're choosing to do so. In the Jehovah's Witnesses, you're not allowed to associate with, "worldly people," unless you're witnessing to them. Some of the worst cults literally have compounds you're not allowed to leave. There's also a HUGE push for homeschooling (or a requirement for children to attend a cult-operated school).

6. Distinguishing vernacular. This is a big one. Worldly people, gentiles (for Mormons, who claim to be Israeli), heathens, barbarians, Systemites, disfellowshipped, Suppressive Persons, civilians - these are all terms for outgroup people that cults use. That's the easiest way to identify if they have a distinguishing vernacular - what is their term for the "them" versus the "us"? You'll see tons of other vernacular and ingroup jargon once you identify those.

7. Us vs. them mentality ties into all of the previous points. We're special, we're chosen, we're on a holy mission, and the rest of the world is out to get us. We must defend against them.

8. Exploits member labor - super-easy to see in religious organizations that call for unpaid volunteer labor that should be a paid position in the church, but the military is ALL about exploiting labor. There's no overtime, and it's generally a hugely underpaid job

9. High exit costs (and entrance costs, see point 4). You've given up everything to be there - money, individuality, home, friends, family. They're all you have left (see point 5). In most cults, you lose what little support structure you have because the cult can't interact with you if you leave. In the military, there's a huge "quitting the team" mentality that shames people into re-enlisting even if they don't really want to (or re-commissioning). And of course, for most cults, you've already given up most of your individuality, so you don't even know who you are anymore - which makes the idea of leaving and trying to figure that out incredibly scary.

10. The Ends Justify the Means. This is most obvious in terrorist groups and militaries, but you see it in almost all of the cults.

Special secret 11 that she talks about elsewhere: Often tries to replace your family/support system by calling themselves your family in blatant terms. Uncle, Father, Mother, or like. Band of Brothers? Etc.

So.... For anyone who's wondering if they just joined a cult, look at the list and see how much of it the senior members of the group fit.

Watching my friends become evangelical Christians. Would be funny if I weren't terrified.

[kettle-bird]

murderousintent.png

[humans-are-tasty]

[u3pxx]

KIM KITSURAGI - “Is that. My kineema.”

COMPOSURE [Medium: Success] - Something in him is about to break, *big time*.

EMPATHY - And it’s not going to be pretty, do something!

- DRAMA [Formidable] - Everything is fine!

- “Sure is.”

DRAMA [Formidable: Failure] - Surely he’s aware that he’s not the *only* person in the world who owns a Kineema?

YOU - “Is it really *yours*? I mean, plenty of people have their own Kineemas, right? Like working men, government offices, uh, firefighters I guess, maybe even animal control people? Exactly! A million different people who could’ve driven it into the uh…”

DRAMA - Pause, my liege! Ixnay on the Ineemakay!

YOU - “It could even be our *mysterious* joyrider!”

KIM KITSURAGI - Your frenzied babbling falls deaf to the lieutenant's ears. Instead, he approaches the broken vehicle, sunken in the ice. He moves with a caution and gentleness you haven’t seen him display before.

INLAND EMPIRE - It must be cold and lonely down there, in the icy water. Maybe he could sense its sorrow, calling to him…

PERCEPTION (SIGHT) [Easy: Success] - His hands, which are always stiffly placed behind his back, are trembling.

ENDURANCE - This is the shuffle of a tired, tired man.

HALF LIGHT - He’s going to do something drastic because of you. Oh god, terrible! You’re a terrible liar! You can’t look at this, you just can’t!

VOLITION [Formidable: Success] - It's not *you* who drove his kineema into the sea. You have plenty of faults, but this one is decidedly not yours.

KIM KITSURAGI - He kneels down with his head bowed, casting his face in shadow. He plants a hand on the ice to stabilize himself, squinting to get a better view of the motor carriage. “Detective, it says ‘57’ on it.”

YOU - Sweat drips down your brow, and you feel a terrible headache coming. “Maybe our joyrider has an affinity for that number?”

LOGIC - He's not stupid, he knows that it's not that.

KIM KITSURAGI - “57.”

YOU - “What about 57?”, you brace yourself.

KIM KITSURAGI - “Precinct 57.”

YOU - You wince. “Kim, look-”

KIM KITSURAGI - “When I woke up in the Whirling-in-Rags with no memory of what happened during the days before, I've taken note that something of mine has gone missing.” He grits his teeth. "A very. Important. Something."

He runs his hands over his face, messing his already unkempt hair in the process. Regret creeps up on his features. “God. Fuck. They’re going to fire me over this, they’re not going to hear me out.”

EMPATHY - Desperation settles in the lieutenant's tone. Sadly, you find yourself in agreement, even if you don’t want it to be the truth.

YOU - “People are more valuable than machines, Kim.”

KIM KITSURAGI - “Not people like me.” He rasps.

YOU - “…”

KIM KITSURAGI - Before you can say anything more, you fail to notice the lieutenant carefully walking onto the edge of the ice. He looks over the frigid water, a dizzying blue that mirrors and distorts his exhausted face back to him.

YOU - “Kim?”

KIM KITSURAGI - Seconds pass as he looks to be contemplating something. Out of nowhere, he casually takes another step where the ice ends and the sea begins. It happens all too quick for the lieutenant to even voice a call for help— if he even wanted to — his body plunging into the cold water before your eyes.

YOU - “KIM!!!!”

uhhh bonus stuff? sorry i have swap au brainworms pfttt

(im not sure what skills kim has at the moment so rn he only has narration as his inner monologue ok whoops, i would like to keep harry as the guy who thinks in dialogue trees so im still figuring it out pfttt)

also, this was done bc i wanted to expand on these old scribbles of mine, just like an idea, i just think that he'd be having an even worse time wheezes

[its-echo-song]

Plague AU Ch. 3

Two weeks pass without much change, a habit forming of meeting back at the doctor's place after working all day, being sketched and measured, eating whatever dinner he’s prepared, and then walking home with him.

I have offered for him to use one of my spare rooms, a place for him to rest for the later nights. He's always refused, telling me it’s a horrible idea to keep a plague doctor overnight. Then he goes on to make his way back home. I’d asked before, it doesn’t bother him.

“Solitude suits me, I think. The quiet of the evening is refreshing, compared to the kinds of days we have.”

So then he’d go on his way, a farewell said in more and more of a cheerful manner each time, and in the morning the greeting gets warmer by mere degrees. But it’s there, I take note of it with a slight happiness each time.

It’s no surprise, though, since we’ve danced cautiously around the idea of friendship- sizing each other up, trying to feel out unfamiliar territory. We grow closer and I hesitate less around him, he eases in his strict manner as well, and we end up sharing stories until late into the night.

Tonight is no exception, trading tales and laughing as he tries to sketch me, eventually giving up in frustration.

“Not working tonight?” I ask, leaning closer to try and peer at his book. He pulls it close to his chest, leaning back away from me.

“No! And I don’t want you seeing. Sorry, but- especially when I’m not able to get your likeness down, no.”

“Would be easier without the mask. It’s probably hard to see through those eye-holes.”

This has been a subject that I’ve been refusing to drop. Apparently, to his dismay. He groans and pulls his book away enough to close it.

“I already told you, I can’t do that.”

“Why not? It’s not like we’re complete strangers.”

“Because… It's a bad idea. It’s just not- that’s not how this works.”

“So I stand around with no shirt on for hours while you poke and prod at me and I don’t even get to see the face of the man who’s doing it? How is that fair?”

“How would it be fair if I died? You’re still surrounding yourself with the death every day and that’s a risk-”

“A risk you also take, you do the same thing I do.”

“Donny-”

“I don’t even know your name! Why can’t I know that?”

“Perhaps it’s time to walk home.”

“No- I just- I’ve been so patient.”

“And the reward for patience is getting what you want? There is no such end for you.”

“All I’m saying is you struggle to draw because you cannot see me, you struggle with the heat by the fire, you- it just seems like more trouble than it's worth.”

“Let me worry about my troubles.”

There’s no winning this argument with him, no matter how curious I am. I sigh, putting my hands up in surrender. “Okay, sorry, you’re right. Your struggle, not mine.”

He relaxes slightly, I watch the tension leaving his shoulders. “Thank you. Now, should we walk?”

“Well- I guess, if you’re done.”

He nods at me, standing. “Did you know you can learn things about someone's condition from listening to their heart?” he asks, casually, as he makes his way over to the door. “It’s fascinating. Apparently different sounds can mean different things.”

“Oh? That’s new.”

“I get journals sent to me from France.”

“So it’s experimental?”

“It’s in the observation stage, like most of the science I’m practicing.”

“So… I’m assuming you’ll be attempting that.”

“Possibly. There are issues with the procedure. I can try to feel your heartbeat, but- currently the way to do such a thing would be… ah-” He clears his throat. “It’s a bit impractical.”

“What do you mean?”

“I’d have to put my ear up to your chest.”

There's a lingering silence punctuated by our footfall. I’m thankful to be walking by dim moonlight, as to hide the way my face is flushing at the thought. “Oh. Well- with the hood and all…”

“That, too. I’m still refusing to budge, don’t argue with me about it.”

“I didn’t say anything.” More silence follows this. “We’ll have to figure something out. I don’t want that to stand in the way of research.”

He glances over at me and then back in the direction we’re walking. “Yes, well… easier said than done.”

“I could… close my eyes? Look away?”

“With how you’ve been acting about seeing me? Why would I trust you to keep your word on such a thing?” He’s half teasing, I can tell by the tone of his voice, interwoven with light laughter.

“I guess… I’m sorry I’ve become untrustworthy.”

He laughs, it’s own kind of warmth that cuts through the chill of the evening. “I don’t blame you for your curiosity, but I’ll be damned if I let it win.”

“We’ll see about that.” I say with a smile thrown in his direction, a chuckle trailing off into the silence of the night. I peer upward at the stars for a moment, taking in the vast blanket of them across the sky, watching the clouds of my breath float up to meet them.

“I do wish, though, that you didn’t have to wear that thing. Not just for my curiosity, it’s really nice out right now. Maybe on your walk back- you should see the stars.”

He looks at me for a good few paces, then to the sky. “You know what? I think I will.”

~~~

He’s decided not to tempt fate, as he put it. Instead of removing the hood and mask to listen to my heart, he’s starting by attempting to pick up irregular patterns by placing his hand over my heart.

Admittedly, when he’d first suggested it I didn’t think much of it. I’d been so used to him positioning me, sliding his hands over my arms as he measured, murmuring numbers to himself.

But usually he leaves his gloves on- save for taking my pulse at the wrist and neck.

This shouldn't be much different, in theory.

But somehow it is.

He has me stand for this new procedure, slipping his gloves off and gingerly placing them aside on his desk. He steps into my space, one hand resting on the bare flesh of my shoulder, the other gently placed over my heart.

I try not to think about it, the delicate pressure from the other hand that has no need to rest where it does. There’s no real reason for the extra contact, so much so that it evokes a flood of questions within me.

Why?

He doesn’t seem to be the kind of person where this kind of movement would be natural to him, it makes it feel purposeful, like he’s got some reasoning that I might not puzzle together.

He’d not denied his preferences- that he would rather find himself amongst other men.

Perhaps that is what’s making this feel different to me. Perhaps he’s not changed at all, it’s only my perception of him. I’m overly sensitive to his motives now, wondering what each movement might mean, thinking about the fact that he’s leaning ever so slightly into me…feeling strangely elated to notice it.

Or is there really something there? The way he draws his hand away slowly, almost dragging away so his fingertips trace against my skin slightly, leaving me to shiver as the goosebumps erupt down my skin.

He takes a slight step away, peering up at me. “Are you okay?” Real concern paints his voice when he asks this. He still does not remove the hand that lays over my heart.

“Yeah- why?” I sound strained, I can hear how much my words sound like effort, like awkwardness.

“You’re-you’re turning red. You’re not feverish are you?” He places the back of his free hand on my forehead and I suddenly feel as if I may faint.

“No- no I’m- It’s okay, I’m alright.” I fight the urge to back away, give in to the flutterings of panic in my core, the sudden sparking of nervousness.

He huffs out a slight laugh, pulling his hand off my forehead and smoothing it over my shoulder, down my arm. “Don’t forget to breathe, Donald.” He says this gently, filled with amusement, and I can't stop thinking about the way his hand now gently rests wrapped around my wrist with a feather light touch.

My mouth has gone dry, I nod at him and take a deep breath, feeling my face heat warmer than before and turning my gaze away from him to focus on something, anything else.

He takes a larger step back from me, pulling both his hands away and grabbing his sketchbook. “I don’t think I’m going to get any useful information out of you like this.”

I still say nothing, keeping my eyes locked on the fireplace.

What does he mean like this? He’s noticed- I’m not even sure what it means, entirely- he’s noticed that I’m nervous, now that I know about his past? I hope he doesn’t hold it against me, feel slighted.

I would never hold it against him, his taste in companionship. I’ve had my fair share of struggles against my own mind, my preferences, things I’d never say outloud to another.

I wouldn’t dare act upon such thoughts, no matter how tempting they seem to be- no matter how enticing the allure of a handsome man’s smile can feel.

There’s part of me that suddenly views him as dangerous due to that- thanks to the fact that a simple hand on the shoulder can break my will so easily, that my heartbeat disobeys my every desire for it to remain steady.

It feels as if, though, none of this bothers him. He goes about his routine as usual, no comments other than the one he’d already made- which sticks in my mind like a briar.

There’s no more conversation for the night, he works in silence and I hold my tongue, shocked at my own reaction to him. When it comes time to say goodnight, as we linger outside my home, he finally speaks to me again.

“I apologize… if I’ve overstepped.”

There’s more silence, I can’t quite pull my thoughts together to give him an appropriate response. Is it okay? Did he overstep or am I simply reacting too much? Should I tell him I forgive him, though there may be nothing to forgive?

“Well- Have a goodnight then, Donald. Hopefully I’ll see you in the morning.” He sounds apprehensive, turning and taking a pace before stopping again. “I mean it,” he turns to look back at me, “please be there tomorrow. I-I mean- I hope you will be.”

“I will.” I murmur, trying very hard to look at him as I say it, but failing and turning my eyes to stare at the ends of his cloak instead. “I don’t think… I’m not sure there’s anything to forgive you for.”

“You’re… not sure? Hm- Well, think about it. I’m not trying to- I don’t mean to scare you away.”

I take a breath, thinking back to the interaction- would I really say no if I knew that’s what would happen? If I knew I’d feel so flustered?

No, I don’t believe so-

In fact, I find the thought exhilarating, a small rush of hopeful excitement at the thought of his hand on my shoulder, of him sharing my space so casually.

“I mean- No, there’s no reason to apologize. I think I’m just- I’m just tired tonight. Tomorrow I’ll be more myself.”

“Well then, I suppose I’ll have to look forward to seeing you tomorrow, then.”

‘Look forward to seeing you’

“Walk safely.”

“Have a good evening, Donny.”

He turns and makes his way into the night, walking quietly on his own. I watch him as far as my eyes can strain to see- ducking away when he turns suddenly to look back in my direction. When I peer back out again, I see a silhouette of him removing the mask- no details to note, except that I can tell he’s gazing up at the night sky.

Plague AU Ch. 1

This is a fanfic au of @tuna-jsgross oc, Donny :)

No matter how many rigid, pale, glossy-eyed corpses I toss into a pit- I never get used to it. The smell clings to you, not just physically, but in a way that you can recall it at any given moment and it’ll be precisely correct every time. Your mind locks on to it, a cruel fate when you’d only ever wish the memory away upon recalling it.

But we do what we have to do, those of us who are healthy enough to carry on must bear the burden of the souls that leave us behind. Hundreds of them. 

Things have been bleak, lately, the population dwindling, the doctors working tirelessly at all hours, the keepers doing our best to support their efforts.

Despite the curse that’s seemed to land upon us all, the cold grip of death that drifts as fog through the town, I do my best to remain the optimist. I try, through the sweat, vomit, and exhaustion, to be the smiling face that others may need to see. I want to grant the damned one last comfort before their walk to the other side, if nothing else.

I’ve been told that I’m going to fall victim, myself, if I don’t learn to keep my distance. I try -I swear I do- but what is humanity if I allow myself the coldness of turning a blind eye to the tears of a widow in her last moments? I hold their hand through it, I think I always will. If that’s what brings me to the end, I will take that journey with pride. 

In some way, I believe this trait is what saves me. I’ve far outlasted friends, those who have worked beside me, and other members of town- the clergyman in our parish says my soul has been granted divine graces for my actions. The plague doctor tells me that his spiritualism is nonsense, there must be another reason.

Though, admittedly, he’s never been able to provide any sort of reason for it.

I suppose it would be hard to believe in divinity after seeing so many people’s lives extinguished, as he has. There’s no sense to it, I confess, it’s hard to believe in anything caring for us when so many have succumbed to the sickness. I’d glanced at the book they keep in the church, records- weekly death tolls growing larger and larger as time moves forward.

I’m on rounds today, moving through the makeshift hospital, trying to keep patients cool despite their fevers, dabbing a rag into a bowl of water and passing it over their foreheads. I try not to look at the blackening flesh, rotting while they’re still alive- everyone knows once this happens, death follows. We’re told to skip these patients, there’s nothing we can do.

The plague doctor is here, letting blood from patients, examining wounds, and swearing roundly at the losses as bodies are dragged out to the street to be disposed of later. I watch him work between my tasks, methodically, moving from person to person with the confidence of a man who seems not to fear death at all. As far as doctors go, when the death started spreading, many of them fled. The plague doctors are mostly new doctors, some not even doctors at all. The instructions they give vary from person to person, but this one in particular has been the most consistent- showing up day after day, always seeming to be around in one way or another. 

After a while, it seems that he’s grown familiar with me as well, calling me by name when asking for assistance, sending me on errands for him. I’m happy to help in any way I can, and just like that I’ve found myself becoming a close assistant. 

When he shows up in the morning the first thing he does is summon me. He hands me supplies, asks if I’m ready, and we make our way inside. 

Despite the time I’ve spent around him, I know very little of him. He doesn’t tell me his name, doesn’t disclose where he’s from, but his accent speaks of France- some things cannot be so easily hidden.

As it turns out, nobody knows much about him. The other plague doctors have names, previous jobs, we know where they were hired from, but this one? It seems he refuses to discuss anything other than business. 

This has led to a web of rumors surrounding him. Some of them are run of the mill- he’d run away from some rich family to lay down roots, he’d left his wife when he couldn’t stand her anymore, he’d had so much debt he couldn’t dream of paying it back. Some of the rumors are a little more scandalous. His wife caught him with a mistress, he’d never married due to his affinity towards the same sex, he had a drinking habit and got kicked out of his old town when he performed medicine drunk and killed a man.

Whatever may or may not be true, I find myself becoming more and more curious with each passing day. One evening, on a particularly grueling day, the doctor pauses on our usual walk out from the ward. I’m carrying supplies, a bit of a habit from working with him for so long even though he hasn’t actually asked me to in a while. “Donald- have you noticed anything peculiar?” I run through a mental list of the day's goings-ons, turning up only the usual. “No?” “Hm. I’ve noticed things.” This is the most conversation I’ve managed to get from him at evening time, so I take the bait. “Care to share, or are these things going to live and die with you?” “See, that’s just it. You live. The others- they die.” “Oh- we’ve talked about this, I’m blessed-” “-but the others who shared the same disposition? Divinity found it fit to turn his back on them?” “Well… I guess.” “No. I don’t believe it to be so.” “What do you suggest? You’ve found no answers previously, are things any different tonight?” “Not yet- but I want to propose something.” This piques my interest, I move the supplies to one hip, shifting my weight into a comfortable lean. “I’m listening.” “I’d like to do research on you. Nothing terribly invasive, nothing painful. Mostly just observation.” “Observation? Don’t you watch me work all day?” “I confess, I do. Quite closely.” There's a stillness in the air after he says this, a moment where the chirping of crickets and the distant sound of wind through brush is all my ears catch. He sets in again, shifting and grabbing the supplies off my hip. “Apologies, I just want to understand. There must be a reason for it- I’m hellbent on finding an explanation.” “Well- I suppose there’s no harm in it. What would you like me to do?” “Come to my quarters in the evenings. Let me observe, let me perform a physical- probably once a day. I’d like to note any variables or changes.” “A real life science experiment.” I mean it as more of a joke but with a singular bob of his head he agrees. “Right. If I can figure out why you’re immune- maybe we could use it for the others.”

“A worthy cause.” “Quite.” “Alright. You’ve got a deal.” “Wonderful! Let’s head over then-” “Tonight? Right now?” He freezes mid stride, turning to peer back at me. The movement would’ve been bird-like even without the plague doctor costume. “Is that alright? I’m sorry, I didn’t ask if you had plans.” “I don’t I just- it’s somewhat late and I’ve not had a bite to eat all day. I’d like to get supper first.” “I’ll supply food if you’d like. You can eat while I go over the death records.”

“Oh- okay, sure.” I shuffle along beside him, awkwardly. After a few strides it’s evident that the supplies are heavy to him. “You sure you don’t want me to carry that? It’s no problem.” “I’ve got it.” We march along a few more yards before I can hear him huffing as we go, trying to keep up the pace despite restricted airflow due to the mask. “Seriously, boss, I can carry it. Let me help-” “If I accept your help now, I’m admitting defeat. I’m not letting three stone of glass do me in.” “It seems the doctor has a stubborn streak.” I’m mostly musing to myself, slightly amused at this new tidbit of information. He looks up at me, and I swear I can feel the glare behind the mask. “Damn right I do.” He marches forward with determination. “The only way to get anything done around here.”

“Hey! I seem to recall doing a lot of stuff!” He sighs. “Yes, with you being the one exception.”

“So don’t give up on the task. Just… delegate it so you can save your energy for more important stuff like research.” He stops so abruptly that I nearly trample him, the question of who’s carrying what nearly becomes completely invalid as the box almost fully topples out of his hands. “You’re right. Here.” He holds the box out to me with weary arms and I take it easily. It doesn’t feel like much weight to me, though I suppose a lifetime of heavy lifting far better suits me for the job.

We finish making our way back to his quarters. It’s mostly temporary, but he’s been housed far outside the city, quite the walk. When I comment on this he lets out a low hum of agreement. “I can’t be near anyone in good health. I’ve agreed to isolation.” “What about- I’m in good health. Will you get in trouble?” “Well, you’ve been exposed first-hand plenty. If you were to fall to the sickness I’d imagine it would’ve happened far sooner. Besides… I’m my own master, here. Who is going to chastise me for it? Do you see anyone around? Nobody knows or cares what happens in my quarters.” I glance around at the hollow houses surrounding his, empty and dark, somehow cold as if they suffer from the disease as well. I can almost hear them moaning in the same kind of pain, feel them longing for the life that once graced their walls. “I-I guess that’s true.”

“You’re coming in or you’re dropping the box off and leaving, this much is up to you. If you choose to stay I will be grateful.” “I’ve committed, I’m not going to abandon my word.” “Very well, step inside.” He opens the door for me and lets me in, upon entering I see he’s set up a comfortable living space for himself. There’s a stew still warmed on the cinders of the fire, a bed set off to the side, a desk laden with parchments, several lamps and plenty of oil to go with them.

Upon closer inspection, his desk has more than work notes. There’s a few sketches of flowers, each with the scientific name scrawled underneath them. Viola odorata, or commonly, the wood violet. 

It seems he has both a knack for artistry and a fondness for botany. “Violets?” I hold up a drawing and he nods without looking over at me, stoking up a fire. 

“Yes, they’re used in my mask.” “Oh, so… not because you like them?”

“Well- I find the scent pleasing. As it should be, for a plague doctor’s mask, such is the point of it.”

“What else do you put in there?”

“Lavender, if I can find any. Tea, maybe mint if it’s not too scarce. Mint and lavender work the best, in my experience.”

“The smell keeps the illness at bay, right?”

“It’s the theory- the scent is what makes you sick. But then you have others who… don’t seem to obey that rule. So now I’m trying to figure out what else it could be. I thought perhaps contact, but that doesn’t seem to bother you whatsoever. I have to wonder to myself how someone could be in such close contact, breathing in the same air, and still be left standing a month later? It’s phenomenal… it’s maddening.”

I chuckle, cocking my head at him. “I’ve kept you up at night thinking about me, then?”

There’s a long silence before he shakes his head. “In a manner of speaking, I suppose.”

“Well, I’d hate to disappoint. What do you want me to do first?”

He stands and collects a bowl, filling it with stew before handing it to me. “Eat. Keep your strength up. I’d hate to lose the subject of my interests so early.”

I take it and make a ‘cheers’ motion. “Yes sir.”

[ninjasmudge]

im just fucking with him your honour (read: trying to figure out how to draw him)

[fafameow]

could you draw ribbon please?

sure!

Ribbon is a character I actually don't draw a lot, I think I quickly drew her like three times before so I never took the time to properly make art centered around her. She's adorable that's for sure and I wanted to draw her dynamic with Adeleine (a character i also draw rarely lol), together they make a great duo (thanks star allies for that hehe)

Thank you for your request ^^

[heartorbit]

so when's the wxs phantom of the opera set

[mellohiizz]

may i humbly request more starfox or a blindfold bros :3 i’ll actually cry if they break up TT–TT

i had to draw more starfox im still losing my mind...

im normal about them guys im normal im so normal