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When Should You Declare Bankruptcy? (On Your Email!)
When to declare bankruptcy.
If you have 525,600 emails in your inbox, you may feel hopeless. Maybe a nuke and pave is your best option.
If someone is hundreds of thousands of dollars in debt and they have no way of paying it off, sometimes bankruptcy is the only way.
Let’s be clear: Email bankruptcy is not even close to the seriousness of actual bankruptcy. For most people, deleting all emails and starting over is not the end of the world.
Sure, Aunt Edith might bring up the fact that she emailed you a cat video last summer, and you never responded. If an email’s been around for more than a month, it’s probably not helpful.
For some, hitting delete and starting over is not only the best solution, but if sets you free from the past (and email bankruptcy affects nothing. Your credit score is intact. You just might have lost some clout from Aunt Edith.)
For others — hitting delete on moths, or sometimes, years of email can be as scary as bungee jumping from the Burj Khalifa. If that’s you, here are some less scary options:
Pay for SaneBox
Seriously. I know some people don’t want to spend money on apps. But this one is worth spending a little something on. What will happen when you set this up will astound you. My guess is that at least half (probably more!) of your 525,600 emails will get moved to your later or news folders. With a bit of training, the basic Sanebox set up will put only the email you care about in your inbox. It’s a serious electronic mail lifesaver. (Use this link for signing up and you get $5 off, which is basically a free month, and I do too.)
Let your old address go to seed
If you've still got a dinosaur email from Yahoo, Hotmail, or AOL (anybody still got a Juno or MindSpring account?), this one's for you. Right now, Gmail's the best free email around. While, I’m not a huge Google fan, Gmail has some basic features I talk about in this book (including the ability to “snooze”, automated “newsletter” folders — and has excellent archive and search functions.) and it costs you nothing. Set up a Gmail account that is as close to your name as you can get and begin using that as your main personal point of contact. You can keep your old address, but slowly stop checking it. Use that address for a signup address to keep unwanted spam out of your new one. (Gmail is pretty good at detecting spam. In fact, sometimes it’s too good. Be sure to check your spam folder frequently in the beginning, as I’ve found it to be sometimes a little aggressive.).
Letting an old address “go to seed” is sometimes a better way to get out of email debt without going full on nuclear and blowing up the whole thing.
Search and Destroy
The search function with most email clients is fantastically fast now. Don't want to go too wild with deleting? Check out your inbox and find the biggest offenders and delete those. If Billy Bob Appliances from three towns over keeps sending you three emails a day about their never-ending fire sale, do a search and destroy. Type “Billy Bob” in your browser, select all, and delete. This takes some time if you t have a lot, but can provide some precision before eliminating everything.
Be a Liberal Archiver
If “delete” is still freaking you out, remember you can archive everything. Archive your whole inbox. It’s fine. Do it now.
You’re losing nothing. Everything is still searchable. It’s all there. If you have a limited storage capacity, this might not be the best solution for you, as you may eventually run out of space. But email storage is cheap and this might be a suitable solution for anyone with email FOMO (fear of missing out).
Declare Bankruptcy
You may be done. Out of storage. Out of patience. Out of caring anymore.
At that point of frustration, email bankruptcy may be your best option. Elect all and delete. If you need to do so, empty your trash and start fresh. You might need to let a few people know that their old email is gone. Please send again. But most will be no worse off.
If you decide this is your best option, like financial bankruptcy, you want to put systems into place to prevent yourself from over going there again. I use the strategy and tactics of the Growability® Inbox method. It works. My inbox is empty nearly every day.
Let me know if you’re interested. I would love to coach you through it.
It’s possible.
You can do this.
You are doing better than you think. You have more potential than you know.
Book Bonus
I am currently in the middle of three books, some of you might find of interest:
Wool by Hugh Howey: This is a gripping story. Well written. Fast-paced. I picked this up because I thought the trailer for the upcoming AppleTV series looks great. But I usually like to read before I watch.
The Information: A History, A Theory, A Flood by James Gleick: I read an article this week about AI being the sunset of the Information Age and the beginning of the Intelligence Age. History will determine this sometime in the future. Gleick’s work is really a masterpiece, in that it’s a well-researched history of information. Which one would think to be a snoozer. But I am finding it both entertaining and fascinating.
The 1-Page Marketing Plan by Allan Dib: Sure. It’s basically how to build simple a sales funnel. But the “simple” part is good. I like things that have been distilled (and that’s more than just a good bourbon). That said, if want the most straightforward way for building a sales funnel that integrates with the rest of your business/nonprofit, I think you need Growability®. :-)
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Wish for peace, work for peace. (at Nashville, Tennessee) https://www.instagram.com/p/Cp2-O_Suiew/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=
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The Significance of 1948
"Every new medium transforms the nature of human thought. In the long run, history is the story of information that becomes aware of itself." -- James Gleick, The Information
1948
What a year.
For one, my parents were born. So, it was a big year for me.
Just three short years after World War II, 1948 was the year Velcro and the LP were invented, Gandhi was assassinated, and Babe Ruth died.
But arguably, the most significant thing that happened in 1948 was something Claude Shannon did.
Yeah. Claude Shannon, a little known, introverted engineer, and mathematician living in Greenwich Village, Manhattan. While working at Bell Labs, Shannon took on a side research project and he figured out a way, mathematically, to measure information. Building on binary code, he developed an instrument of measurement called the bit. Eight bits is a byte.
And so it begins.
Just a few months earlier in December 1947, John Bardeen and Walter Brattain successfully tested and demonstrated a working transistor. This meant tubes were about to become obsolete. 1948 was the year transistors started their road to ubiquity. I could argue that 1948 was the dawn of the Information Age. The move out of industrialism was starting. Science fiction is coming to life.
75 years after the year of transistors and bits
Bits and bytes are now terabytes and petabytes — all connected to the electronic hive mind we call the Internet. I can’t help but wonder if this is the future Mr. Shannon would have prophesied about. The changes in a mere 75 years are jarring. I never know whether to be a technological optimist (the Information Age has democratized everything) or to be a technological naysaying prophet (the AI robot overlords are taking over everything and the science fiction apocalypse is what ’s coming true).
It all depends on the day, honestly.
Okay — today is the day I am convinced we are teetering on the edge of the technology dystopia; I have logged out of Twitter and other social media — places where we’re much closer to chaos.
As I reflect on two books I finished last year (The Future is Analog and Shop Class as Soul Craft) , this article, and a book I’m currently reading (The Information — it’s where I learned the importance of 1948) — I draw this conclusion.
Digital information is where we live. Embrace it.
I don’t think we all have to live on a farm and stall out with mid-twentieth century technology.
But —
We need as much of the tactile and human as possible.
● books
● pens
● bread dough
● paint brushes
● conversations
● hand tools
I wrote the first draft of this article with a handmade pen in a notebook while sitting on my back porch while the sun goes down on a Thursday.
The tactile is important. To really understand something — to really get how the world works — you actually have to do things.
"If thinking is bound up with action, then the task of getting an adequate grasp on the world, intellectually, depends on our doing stuff in it. " -- Matthew Crawford in Shop Class as Soul Craft
So I write. With a pen.
But I will also publish the final draft of this article on the Internet with Substack and Medium.com and Squarespace. Ink strokes will turn into bit and bytes with a MacBook, and I will use an iPhone to take a digital photo and you are reading this now on a Sunday afternoon with an everyday device that would have been a science fictionalized supercomputer in 1948.
What’s the point?
I am honestly unsure. But I know this particular paradox has a lot of tension in my thinking:
Technology is a beautiful gift.
Technology has consequences.
Be mindful of both.
"The truth is that you can be productive and slow. You can balance digital demands and nourish your body with slow moments. You can value fast broadband and family dinner. Slowness is simply a different approach to the same world we all experience-one that opens up time, shifts our perspectives, and, if we were lucky, leads us to a more balanced dialogue between the body and the soul." -- David Sax from The Future is Analog
You are doing better than you think.
You have more potential than you know.
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Clear your Inbox (The Easy Way)
In was early in the year 2002. Sometime after New year’s resolutions and all that.
I sat in my office surrounded by stacks of books and papers and sermons and mail. I felt like a hoarder. But I didn’t want to be a hoarder. I had an email inbox that looked pretty much like my office, except inside the matrix.
It was a terrible day of overwhelm and feeling like a failure for not having the ability to keep up with stuff.
If I had a do-over for that day, I would be much more gracious to myself. We were entering into new territory regarding information. The digital age was fully upon us. We didn’t have the tools to deal with the deluge. We didn’t have the systems to harness the pixels.
I just sat there feeling bad about myself and about my lack of ability to deal with the aftermath of the World Wide Web.
Thankfully my good friend, Joel, was dealing with the same issues as me in those days. He was an entrepreneurial knowledge worker, before said jobs were quite as ubiquitous. I can’t remember which of us heard about David Allan first, but we read Getting Things Done together. It was one of the most game-changing books I ever read. (I’m pretty sure Joel found it as helpful as I did.)
What David Allan Taught Me
I sat in my office, cracked open the GTD book and implemented as I read. It took me about a week. But when that week was over, I had (more or less) wrangled everything. My inbox was clear. My office was clean. I had to-dos and projects organized in lists. It was the first time I felt in control in years. It was fantastic.
Don’t be deceived. This isn’t a “happily ever after” story. I’ve most definitely fallen off the productivity wagon lots of times since then. But here the things that stick with me 21 years after reading David Allan for the first time:
1. You gotta have a system: Without a system for “stuff” — “stuff” takes over everything. Especially when your “stuff” is digital.
2. The system must be one that your brain trusts: If your brain doesn’t really believe it will find the impotent stuff, the stuff that really matters, you will go back to keeping everything on the best or in your inbox, so you don’t lose it.
3. Think in terms of action: The key questions is always “What do I do with this?” This eliminates your options. (More on the practicalities below.)
This is way a lot of people keep thousands of emails in their inbox, and that it would be inconceivable to clear that stuff out. The ever elusive “Inbox 0” is a pipe dream.
I get my inbox to zero at least three times per week, most of the time every day.
I don’t lose emails, and if you email me, it will get answered and will not get lost.
Here’s my system that I trust:
First a few general email principles:
Use Email for What It’s Good At. Don’t Use Email for What It’s Bad At.
Email is great at:
● Non-urgent communication across time zones
● Non-urgent communication to teams
● Document sharing
Email is a bad at (I would say VERY bad at):
● To do lists
● Scheduling
● Hard conversations
Process Email During Specified Blocks of Time
For me, it’s mid-morning, mid-afternoon, and before quitting time. There’s no “right time” however. Depending on your context, you may need to process more frequently — or even less frequently.
Have Separate Email Addresses for Work Roles/Personal
This has to do with the cost of context shifting. Most people just have personal and work email. I have an email address for two different work roles, personal, and my website. The key is to separate, so when you due process email, you can focus on one area at a time. Context shifting between various roles at work and your personal life takes a toll. It will make you tired.
Get to Inbox Zero Regularly (At Least Once Per Week)
This will assure your brain that there are no snakes in the grass, lying in wait to bite you.
Finally, the good stuff. Here is my system for inbox zero.
Open a single inbox.
Open a single email (I usually start at the top. But you can start at the bottom.)
Ask this question:
Is there any action I need to take with this?
The answer to this question for most email is, “No”.
Then your next action is quite simple.
Delete it.
Or you can archive it if you’re not comfortable with deleting things. The point is to get it out of your inbox.
Great, there’s a sale at Best Buy. But I’m not buying crap at Best Buy this week. Eliminate that bad boy from your life.
Is there an action I need to take that will take two minutes or less?
Do it.
Now.
The two-minute rule is a principle I learned from David Allen that I still employ today. Can I get this done in two minutes or less? A quick reply. A quick read. Two minutes. It’s done. You’re done. The email is gone.
Is there an action that will take longer than two minutes?
Get that on a list.
I use Asana for my task lists. I break down my tasks into these categories:
Brainstorms (Ideas that need clarity/projects that need to be broken down into steps and tasks)
Bullies and Bulldozers (tasks that need prolonged focus or Deep Work)
Busywork (generally administrative tasks)
Some people also have a “waiting for” list when you need a reply from someone. I tend to snooze the emails I want to follow up with. If I need a conversation with someone, I don’t send an email, except to maybe schedule an appointment using Calendly. This eliminates 752 back and forth emails.
Almost every email that needs a more than 2-minute action will go on this list. Get it on your list and archive the email.
Is there an action I want to take on this at a specific time?
Simple solution here. Pick a day and put it on a calendar. Archive
Is this something I don’t want to decide on right now?
If so, I snooze it. My email app is called Airmail for Mac. It has a beautiful snooze feature. Gmail has a snooze feature as well. Use this. It will make your life so much better.
Is this information I would like to read later?
I use a tool called SaneBox, and create a folder called Saturday morning. This puts the email (usually a newsletter I’m interested in) into a folder, and it magically reappears on Saturday, when I have the luxury of reading such things.
I will also forward such things to my Instapaper account to read later as well.
This is the basic plan I follow, and the tools I use. My inbox is cleared out most days. If there’s an ongoing, current project, I will occasionally leave a couple of emails in my inbox for a few days. But part of my Friday ritual is to decide on everything and get to the pretty little Inbox Zero icon.
You can do this.
You need a system that your brain trusts. My brain trusts my system. And I rarely miss anything.
If this topic interests you, there are a couple of things you might be interested in.
1. I am doing a webinar for Global Trellis on Tuesday, at 9:00 AM EST this week. This webinar is designed for cross cultural workers. But I will be going through the information above and showing you exactly how I use these tools to keep my email cleared out with relative ease. Sign up here, if you’re interested in joining.
2. Growability® Coaching includes robust tools and training for time management, if that’s something you feel like you need help with. Set up a quick call with me if you want to up your leadership (and time-management!) game with some coaching.
3. Also – SaneBox is an email tool I can’t function without. If you want an extra $5 bucks off, use my promo code here and check it out.
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A Hobbit Habit: How to Read More Books in 2023
Leaders are readers.
Ugh. That is such a terrible cliche.
But here’s the thing with cliches. They’re generally true.
As you step into the leadership journey for possibly the first time, I want this to be the first book you read. But — this should not be the last book you read. Reading needs to become a part of who you are and something you do every day.
“But I am not a reader.”
Guess what?
Reading is not a talent.
It’s a skill.
And a habit.
You can learn to be a reader.
Studies from Pew Research (and other such places) tell us Americans don’t read the same way we used to. The general populous used to read books, because that was the way media worked in our society and culture. The format worked well. Small, transportable. Even when I was younger, people publicly read books as a pastime on various forms of public transportation.
We all know everything changed in 2007. The rise of the smartphone, followed by a glut of easily accessible digital media, meant books went out of style with parachute pants.
But here’s the interesting thing:
People are still reading.
In fact, people read all day long. It didn’t take long for digital mediums to change our cultural reading habits. Instead of books on airplanes, we read from the phone. And, I mean, why not? It’s right there. Easy.
Sometimes smartphones make us dumber. Shortened attention spans. Inability to focus on anything longer than a subheading. We are in the habit of skimming instead of reading. TL;DR is now commonplace. (That means “Too Long, Didn’t Read” in case you don’t know the lingo.)
Reading as a habit
Sorry. Another cliche line from a cheesy motivational poster: but if you want to grow as a leader, you must become a reader. I believe that.
Reading is core to developing a learning mindset. Not just because you get new “information”. Reading requires your brain to focus for more the 30 seconds at a time. The ability to focus will set you apart from the crowd.
I read about 60 books per year.
I know people who read more than that.
You don’t even have to read that much.
A book a month will put you ahead of most.
Get in the habit of reading. You will be better off.
Here’s how to do it.
How to Build a Reading Habit
Set small attainable goals
Don’t start with 10 books a month.
Start with one.
Or you could determine to read a certain number of pages per day.
Or set aside “read time” — a time in the day only for undistracted reading.
What ever works for you. Set reading goals but make them small and attainable. Once you get into a reading habit, you can increase them until you find a consumption rate that works for you. Don’t endlessly try to increase reading goals. Find your ceiling and stick with it.
Make reading your default activity
(Instead of Instagram or Twitter or TV binging).
This mindset shift will get you reading more books. Instead of defaulting to your phone, default to a book (or an e-reader, as we see in a moment). This will take a little forethought. Keep a book (in any format) with you at all times. If you’re waiting for a bus, read it. When you have a few minutes between meetings, read. Any time you feel yourself reaching for your phone, grab a book instead. Rather than watching yet one more episode of some rerun on your streaming service, grab your book. Read a chapter. Or a paragraph. This will both break some potential bad habits and will build a great reading habit.
Use technology (audio books/e-readers/Etc.) with wisdom
While I rarely read on my phone, I am not an anti-smartphone Luddite. In fact, digital technology can help you read more! Use what works for you to read long form writing. I typically have the following formats going at any point in the month:
A book on my e-reader
1-2 audio books (you can pay a subscription or get them free from your local library!)
1-2 old-fashioned analog books.
I enjoy reading on an e-reader (this is often my “airplane book”).
I prefer reading analog.
I love listening to a story (I have a high audio learning style).
Variety keeps me going. Use the formats that work for you.
Be Analog (read a book with a pencil)
Whichever combination of book formats you decide to use, be sure analog is one of them. There is something magical about the tactile cracking open of a book, so I always have at least one physical book going at all times. I travel with a book (along with my e-reader).
The genuine power of a physical book is the ability to take physical notes and underline in the book itself. What a magnificent invention!
No book is sacred. Not even the Bible, Torah, or Koran. They invented paper for writing. Get the most out of your physical books by reading with a pencil. Make notes. Underline. Ask questions. The more your brain interacts with the text and its author, the more you learn.
Follow What is Interesting (and put down what isn’t!)
When first developing a reading habit, read what interests you. Into the history of obscure holidays or the science of cryptozoology? Cool. There are books for you to read! Find them. Read them.
The topics you read about don’t have to be related to your job. Don’t make it hard! Read the books you want to read. Once you have the reading habit, you can venture into subjects more challenging.
Here’s another secret:
You do not have to finish every book.
I have mastered the art of skimming. In the genre of business and leadership books, there are too many published books that should have been a blog post. When I get into the middle of one of these, I skip all the repeated and filler bits, note the main points I want to learn, and walk away.
Treat Yourself!
As with any goal, completion should equal reward. Sometimes, this might be the simple dopamine rush of marking another book as complete. Using a service like Goodreads or The Story Graph, you can track the books you’ve read in a social setting. As I write this, I’ve used Goodreads since 2010. Although, I am trying to ween myself off of mega-corporate entities named after large rivers, and am now playing with The Story Graph.
You can also simply reward yourself with a cookie or a spa day — or — heck. Just buy yourself another book.
Reading should be fun.
But reading is also critical to your success as a leader. It’s how we learn and grow. Use these tips and you will soon develop a habit that you can’t run away from if you try.
Build a Hobbit Habit: Read!
Set small attainable goals until you reach a pace you’re comfortable with
When you go to pick up your phone to scroll Instagram, grab a book instead.
Wisely use technology to read more! (Have a lot of books going at once!)
Always be working on an analog book and keep a pencil with you while reading it.
Stick with what’s interesting, drop (or skim!) what is not.
Give yourself a reward when you finish a book or accomplish your goal!
With just a little effort, you can become a reader.
It’s a habit that will serve you well on the journey.
4 Spots left for Q1 Coaching!
Professional coaching is not a luxury — and is ideal for business leaders who prioritize character and excellence. Growability® Coaching helps leaders cultivate vision, rhythm and community in their life and work. Reach out to, and let’s make 2023 your best year yet.
Join my every Sunday-ish newsletter containing bits and bobs of what I’m reading, writing, watching, thinking, and experimenting with this week. Every month I also send my complete notes from a book I’ve read, so you can decide if you want to read it too! Like the old version of Cliff’s Notes. But more Hobbit-like. Furry feetnotes.
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I am a consultant, coach, and trainer with Growability® Consulting, specializing in non-profit and cross-cultural business and leadership. Check out the Growability® Podcast at all your favorite podcast places.
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The Niche Formula: How to Quickly Find Your Niche
(Interests/Expertise) x Intersection
I’ve spent my life as a generalist. There are advantages to this for sure. I’m never bored. Easily entertained. Interests abound.
The downside is probably bigger than the upside.
Like — iceberg-below-the surface-of-the-sea bigger.
Distraction.
Lack of focus.
Confusion.
Incompletion.
Wondering like a Took, from here to there and back again.
It’s a problem.
There’s always pressure to “niche down”. It’s what the marketers and the content creators are always telling us. Narrow your focus. Specificity is power. And, as someone with knowledge and an interest in marketing, I must concede to this truth.
I read Range by David Epstein a couple of years ago.
It helped me come to terms with my own free-range tendencies.
Here’s a line from for the introduction:
“We learn who we are in practice, not in theory.”
Christopher Lee, the actor who played Counts Dracula and Dooku, as well as Saruman, was also a singer in a beautifully weird gothic metal band.
Steve Martin is a funny guy, an actor, and an amazing banjo player.
Dorie Clark is a business consultant and author who writes musical performance art.
It is possible to be more than one thing at a time.
Here’s the catch: It is very difficult (I argue, impossible) to do more than one thing at a time.
The key to niches is understanding where your interests intersect with your expertise.
Interests vs. expertise.
I am interested in quantum physics. (I’m not lying. The little I understand about it is absolutely fascinating. I recommend reading the 4% Universe and The Fabric of Reality, if you want to get your feet wet on the subject. Range, man. Range.)
However, I have absolutely no expertise in quantum physics.
I have a lot of expertise in public speaking and rhetoric.
But I don’t necessarily have an interest in making that “my thing”.
Interest is innate. You either are or you’re not.
Expertise is gained.
Currently, I may not be an expert in quantum physics. I could take some classes, go to school, and write some papers on the subject, and became an expert in quantum physics.
This is true for any subject you are interested in.
This leaves us with three questions for determining a niche:
What are your interests?
Where are you an expert?
Where are they intersections?
Interests
If you are free range like me, this can be a long annoying list.
Quantum Physics
Books
Writing
Fantasy Fiction
Story Structure
Technology
Web design
Productivity
Leadership (Particularly the development of leaders)
Guitars
Songwriting
Travel
Culture
Organizational health
Foreign languages
Film editing
Photography
Celtic Spirituality
Videography
Gardening
Sound engineering and recording
Podcasting
Vinyl
Theology
Apple products
I made this list in less than two minutes. I’m also not finished yet.
But let’s stop here. You get the idea.
Some of you have a much narrower focus of interests, which means you are probably a much saner person. Kudos for that.
But no matter how long or short your list may be, remember this. You can’t do it all.
Culture tells us the lie that we can do everything we set our minds to. It’s a lie. We can’t.
Oliver Burkeman calculates that we all have about 4000 weeks to live. Total.
That’s not a lot in the grand scheme of things.
He argues in his book of the same title that real freedom and productivity happen when we embrace the reality of our mortality.
“The average human lifespan is absurdly, terrifyingly, insultingly short. But that isn’t a reason for unremitting despair, or for living in an anxiety-fueled panic about making the most of your limited time. It’s a cause for relief. You get to give up on something that was always impossible—the quest to become the optimized, infinitely capable, emotionally invincible, fully independent person you’re officially supposed to be. Then you get to roll up your sleeves and start work on what’s gloriously possible instead.”
As someone who’s well over their halfway point (2875 weeks old, at this writing), I comply – and resonate.
Be interested in as much as you want to be. But remember, it’s not possible to act on all your interests.
Now you go: Inventory your interests!
Make an exhaustive list of all your things. Have fun with it! Look at your list, remembering, no matter your age, it won’t be possible to do it all. That’s okay! Now move to the next question.
Expertise
Choose your expertise from the items on your interest list. Where are you a pro based on your experience and education?
FeetNote: It’s possible to have expertise in an area you don’t have interest in. I’m an absolute expert at untangling Christmas lights.
It’s not something I want to call a niche. You get the idea.
Right-now expertise: experience
Circle all the things on your interests list that you’ve spent a lot of time doing in your professional life.
This will be a much shorter list:
● Leadership (Leadership development has been my entire career)
● Culture (I used to live and work cross-culturally, and continue to have a lot of cross-cultural interactions)
● Productivity (I have an entire story here, but this is a huge part of the training I do)
● Organizational Development (not as long of a history here, but is much of what I do with Growability®)
● Christian Spirituality (This is my educational, as well as vocational, background.)
Everything else on my list remain interests. They might be potential hobbies or research areas. They are most likely not where I will gain professional expertise.
With an exception.
One-day expertise: education
Do you have any interests so compelling that you’d like to invest the time and money necessary to gain expertise?
I love music (a lot!) I can play some guitar and really wanted to be in a band when I was younger. However, at this point in my life, it’s not something I feel good about devoting the time and money needed to move beyond a hobbyist level.
The same is not true for writing. I take the time to write this newsletter every week because I want to be a better writer. I spend time punching ideas into a word processing document because I’m doing what it takes to gain opportunities to write at higher levels. To do so will take a sizable time investment. Get in your reps. That doesn’t happen over a weekend.
Which of your interests (if any) would you like to invest in at a professional level?
Circle those, too
Now comes the fun part.
Intersections – The Multiplier
Pick three areas of both interest and expertise. Connect them.
Here’s mine: I work at the intersection of leadership, spirituality, and organizational development.
This is where I spend my time and energy:
Aiming my career and my content at helping leaders and potential leaders know their purpose, build community, and experience God through the process.
Your interests divided by your expertise, multiplied by their intersection equals your niche!
Your niche is your idea machine.
This is the power of the multiplier. When you multiply your interests that have been divided by your expertise, you have more than a niche. Every intersection is another area for you to solve problems and provide value! Productivity is the intersection of leadership and organization. Community is the intersection of organization and spirituality. The rhythm of Celtic spirituality is at the intersection of leadership and spirituality.
See how that works? Intersections can multiply a niche into a hundred interesting directions.
Here’s why niche matters:
Your niche is your market.
That’s the thing about niches. It’s where you are most uniquely you. And it’s where you find an audience (or customers, readers, donors, etc.)
Niche-finding is a worthwhile process.
It’s also worth noting that things can change. This is not the same place I would have landed 10 years ago. It may or may not be where I land 10 years from now. But here I stand at the end 2022.
Find your niche!
● List your interests
● Circle your expertise
● Create your unique intersections
That’s your corner. Your neck of the woods. Your unique piece of real estate in Internet (or wherever!) It’s the place where you can be most generous for the common good.
Let me know in the comments where your interests and expertise intersect!
What’s your niche?
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Year End Book List: 6 Books You Should Read Before January 1st
There are 7 weeks left in 2022.
I know, right?
I’m mildly behind on my reading goal for this year, with 11 more books to go before January 1st to hit my target of 60 books. It shouldn’t be a problem. I have a stack of partially read books on my desk. It will be a matter of getting through them.
A reading habit is something every person should establish, especially if you’re in a leadership. Even more so if you aspire to leadership.
Of the 49 books I’ve read this year, here are six I commend to you.
If you haven’t read them already, read these six books before year end. It shouldn’t be tough with these particular options. Several are very short. Two are graphic nonfiction (i.e., a comic book that’s not about superheroes).
You got this.
4000 Weeks: Time Management for Mortals Author: Oliver Burkeman
I love it when a book about productivity book is suspect of itself. This was an early 2022 read for me and has definitely shaped my year. I did some FeetNotes for this one back in March, if you want a refresher. We have 4000 weeks, give or take. Recognizing this limitation is not bondage. It’s freedom. If I were to tattoo something to my body, it would be the words: Memento mori.
4000 weeks is a great way to start a new year.
It could be an excellent way to end one.
Sabbath as Resistance: Saying No to the Culture of Now Author: Walter Brueggemann
This gives theological underpinnings to Burkeman, which this student of theology finds appealing. The systems of the world are in image-bearers of the corruption it carries. I found Brueggemann’s theology of Sabbath, along with his underlying theology of restoration, to be a glass of cold water. The world says hustle, hustle, and don’t stop the hustle. God says resist. Rest. The way of capitalism is not necessarily the way of God.
Nothing to See Here Author: Kevin Wilson
This is not my typical fiction genre. But the premise of the book caught my attention: An old school friend calls for help to take care of her two stepchildren, who have the capacity for spontaneous combust. This quirky story is set in my old hometown of Franklin, TN, a fact which also drew me into the story. This story is hysterical, poignant, and a little weird. Which is why I loved it. I give it an R rating for language, if that is an issue for you.
Billionaires: The Lives of the Rich and Powerful Author (and Illustrator): Darryl Cunningham
Quick and easy, and a little disturbing. This is a graphic nonfiction book that documents how Rupert Murdoch, Jeff Bezos, and the Koch brothers rose to wealth and power. Spoiler alert: none of them followed the popular narrative of self-made, hard-working, pull-up-by-the-bootstraps rich people. The author does a good job telling the story without a lot of extra commentary. In the end, it affirms my stance: billionaires should not exist.
Steal Like an Artist (10 Anniversary Edition) Author: Austin Kleon
Not gonna lie. I’m an Austin Kleon fanboy. Like Cunningham, he is also a writer/Illustrator. Steal Like an Artist is the first of three books in a series on creativity. I’ve read all of them multiple times. I purchased a hard copy of the 10th Anniversary edition. It’s ten times a better experience than the digital version. My plan is to grab the 10th Anniversary Editions of Show Your Work and Keep Going, as well. I wrote a FeetNote on Steal Like an Artist back in March, as well.
Discipline is Destiny: The Power of Self-Control Author: Ryan Holiday
I just finished this one this weekend — and commend it to you for a year-end read. Holiday is a philosopher at heart. This is the second book in an ongoing series on the four Stoic virtues (courage, wisdom, justice, and discipline). This is a quick read, but dense in value. There are good stories and anecdotes. It’s clear that Holiday is a collector of such things. The chapters are short and full of one-liner nuggets. The Stoic stuff may be heavy-handed for some — but I see a lot of Stoic philosophy naturally connected to my own Christian faith. A reminder of the importance of discipline is a fantastic way to finish out a year.
What’s on your reading list for the rest of the year?
You’re doing better than you think. You have more potential than you know.
A good reading list is a solid start. But if you want to up your leadership game this year, you need a person in your life who will challenge your thinking and hold you accountable. A coach can make a significant difference. Look into hiring a Growability® Coach for 2023. I have several coaching slots available. Let me know if you’re interested.
Follow me on Twitter. For daily thoughts about leadership, productivity, and nonprofit work.
Subscribe to my my newsletter
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How to Stay Out of Ditches (and what to do if you're already in one)
Are you in a rut? Or are you stuck in a ditch?
The other day I saw a car that had completely slid off the road, the front tires down an embankment. Rear wheels were up in the air.
Oof. This car was stuck. Big time stuck. The only way out was going to be a tow truck.
The ability to get out of ruts. It’s possible to maneuver your way out of a rut. Make a change. Change it up a little. Find an alternative path. Get a hobby. Change your habits.
This is stuck a ditch. We stop hitting goals. Our organizational culture is all wrong. The mission is off-putting. The vision is fuzzy. We can’t move. Forward or backward.
People (and entire organizations) get stuck in ditches and like the car I saw the other day. It’s not pretty. When you’re in a ditch, it’s tough to figure your way out. The best way to get out of a ditch is to avoid getting into one.
Here’s how I recommend doing that
Make sure you can see
You need a vision that grows from purpose. People find themselves waylaid because they have no vision. Most people end up in a ditch when they can’t see what’s in front of them. But the problem is often much deeper than that.
People need a purpose. Few have taken the time to discover their purpose. Lack of clarity on purpose and vision is like fog on the windshield. Keep going like that and I guarantee you a hopelessly difficult ditch.
But you can find your way out of the ditch with a clear picture of why you exist.
What is the change you want to make? What is the world in which you want to live? Learn to see. It makes all the difference.
Heed the guard rails
Especially when there are no guardrails.
We were recently traveling a windy road in the mountains with a steep embankment on the passenger side. Sometimes there were guard rails, sometimes there were not.
Pay attention to the warnings. Too many people move through life paying attention to all the wrong things. We measure life by income or promotions. How many days until vacation, or at least until the weekend? One-dimensional measurement will put us in a ditch every time.
The most helpful guard rail I know is “The Eisenhower Matrix”.
There are two kinds or categories of tasks in our lives:
Important tasks and Urgent tasks.
Important tasks are mission critical — the things that contribute to our long-term mission, values, and goals. Urgent tasks the ones with impending deadlines.
So it’s possible to live your life in one of four quadrants — and three out of four quadrants end in a ditch.
The ditch of burnout: Everything is important. Everything is urgent. If you are living here, there is an end to this road. You are toast. It’s an unsustainable way to live. I know too many people stuck in the burnout ditch.
The ditch of distraction: These are the people who are primarily doing urgent, but not necessarily important, things all day. There comes a day when a person must realize that their primary job is probably not email and text messages. We live in the age of distraction. It’s an easy ditch to fall into - and can be quite difficult to get out of.
The ditch of nowhere: Anyone who mostly does unimportant, non-urgent things is just going to be stuck, tires spinning in their own driveway. Stop prioritizing Netflix, Instagram, and Call of Duty. Prioritize building skills and learning expertise.
You will stay out of ditches if you mostly do important but non-urgent tasks. This moves you down the road of thriving.
Look at your daily activities. Track your time. What are your habits? Your activities and habits are the road signs and guard rails. Take warning.
As you work to stay on the road of thriving, you’ll move away from ditches sooner than expected.
Maintain your car
When I am coaching and training the Growability® model with clients, I often talk about the fact that leading an organization is a lot like riding a bicycle. There’s always a lot going on. Pedaling and steering, while balancing, avoiding potholes, and looking out for oncoming traffic.
When the tire gets flat or the chain falls off, you can’t keep riding and fix the problem at the same time. Get off the bike to work on the bike.
Get out of the car, to maintain the car. My car needs brakes. I can’t just keep driving it. I have to take it to a shop and get the brakes fixed. Driving a car with bad brakes will put you in a ditch you don’t want to be in.
As a leader (and as a human), stop and work on yourself sometimes. You can’t just “keep going” hoping the problem will maintain itself.
Stop. Work on the car.
Weekly: schedule a time to plan and reflect. Monthly: think about what you need to accomplish in the month ahead. Quarterly: consider your goals. Celebrate what you’ve accomplished and lay out where you’d like to be in three months. Annually: revisit your purpose. What kind of progress are you making toward your vision?
These maintenance habits, like an oil change or a brake job are the habits that keep you out of ditches.
When you’re in a ditch, you need a tow truck.
If you find yourself in a ditch, you probably need a coach.
A coach can help you clarify vision, determine your personal guard rails, and help you think through a custom maintenance schedule.
There is no reason anyone should be stuck in a ditch alone.
You should get help. A Growability® Coach can help pull you out. This is how you learn to:
Clarify vision
Develop healthy habits
Help you get on a personalized maintenance schedule that works for you.
Reach out and let’s talk sometime.
In the meantime, remember:
You are doing better than you think. You have more potential than you know.
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Stop Begging For More: 3 Business Principles for NonProfit Organizations
And why the word “nonprofit” is the wrong thing to call a 501c3
Listen to Episode 55 of the Growability® Podcast for a 17-minute conversation about nonprofit organizations using business principles and tactics for making the world a better place.
My client was in a quagmire of uncertainty. There wasn’t enough money. The team was not making enough money. Under-performers filled many positions. The two board members who were involved with this organization didn’t seem to care about the internal management of the program services. They were more interested in sexy results. This is the why my client was approaching donors with a mindset of deep need and poverty. It was an Oliver Twist-esque ask of “Please sir, may I have some more?” And donors weren’t interested.
My client had a desperate need for a mindset change and the application of fundamental principles of business. They are not along in this.
Legal IRS registrations aside (you still have to file your organization’s 501c3 according to the rules), nonprofit leaders need to lose the nonprofit mindset.
Don’t confuse “nonprofit” with a successful company making the world a better place, and is funded by donations. That’s not a nonprofit.
A nonprofit organization is a company that runs out of money and goes out of business.
Your nonprofit should actually make a profit. If it’s not, your cause will float away in red ink. Nonprofit organizations should use a for-profit business operating system. Conversely, there is a lot for-profit businesses should learn from the nonprofit world. In my consulting work with Growability Consulting, I teach clients 12 fundamental principles that every organizational leader must know, whatever their organization’s IRS filing. Here are three of the most essential.
Don’t be a “nonprofit” organization. Be a “for-purpose” organization.
Every company, no matter its status with the IRS, should be a company with purpose. Leaders lead with vision, bringing clarity on the unique value the organization is bringing into the world. And it’s not enough to simply “know your purpose.” The organization needs to decide based on purpose. Purpose is your guide rail. This makes the difference between good and great organization. Purpose statements that are essentially a word salad on a poster will not inspire or motivate anyone. Purpose that is clear and interesting can take the entire organization to undreamed of locations. Ask the following questions about your nonprofit:
Does your organization have a clearly stated purpose your team and stakeholders know and understand? Do your people know why you exist?
Does your organization’s vision paint a clear picture of the future that could exist if you fulfill your purpose? Can you quantify your vision?
Does your organization have a mission statement that clearly articulates how you will achieve your vision and serve your purpose?
Make a list of every program activity your organization executes on a weekly or monthly basis. Does every activity align with your stated purpose, vision, and mission?
Measure everything, but count what matters.
Having worked in a nonprofit world for most of my career, I know it’s all about metrics. I was employed by a program-heavy nonprofit. They had pages of metrics every month — books of metrics at the end of the year. These were apart from fundraising and financial metrics. Metrics are good. But what we most need to measure are outcomes. Nonprofit leaders should not deceive themselves into thinking they’re succeeding because they are measuring everything other than desired outcomes. I work with a lot of churches. One of the obvious measurements for a church is attendance. Butts in the chairs every Sunday. But, for most churches, the bigger goal has to do with changed-lives and discipleship. That’s a lot tougher to figure out. However, it’s essential to figure that out because that’s what really matters for their organization. Ask the following questions for your nonprofit:
What really matters in your organization? What defines success?
What are you measuring now? Are your numbers inputs, outputs, or outcomes?
What would you like to measure but think you can’t? What will it take to get that measurement?
Determine your customer and define your stakeholders
Yes, nonprofits have customers. And they may not be who you think they are. Nonprofit organizations have a unique place in the community, with more complexity and nuance than the simple exchange of goods and services for money. Thus, nonprofit leaders must be clear on the on the following relationships as a minimum:
The Board Are they active? Are they overactive? Do they provide the right amount of accountability?
Program Beneficiaries: What expertise are you bringing to the world and how is that making people’s lives better? Who are the beneficiaries of your expertise?
Donors: What specific value do you bring to your donor base? What does giving to your organization do for the donor? Why do people give to your organization? Which kind of donor is most necessary for you to continue? (Foundations, individuals, community organizations, government?)
Vendors/Partners: Who are the other people/organizations necessary for you to accomplish your vision? Now, which group’s behavior is most critical for you to achieve your outcomes?
That’s your customer. Only one of these groups can be your customer, and it’s critical to know exactly who these customers are. Nonprofit leaders must know the market. Lack of market awareness is the reason many nonprofits fail. For most nonprofits, your customers are your donors. Every nonprofit leader should do the following with their team:
Define your stakeholders.
Be clear on your organizational value proposition.
Determine which stakeholder is your customer.
Create customer personas.
Determine the competitive advantage you provide for each persona.
Nonprofit organizations can thrive when they implement basic principles in the business world. Nonprofit leaders must be strategic about what they plan and what they measure. There is no reason to have a mindset of poverty and want. No more begging for more. Oliver Twist can have a full stomach from now on. (I’m happy to report that with implementing these and other business-oriented strategies, my client’s organization is now stronger and healthier than ever!) Keep your sights on target and be:
Guided by purpose.
Measure what counts.
Know their customers and the market they serve. Business smarts and strategy make for long-term nonprofit success.
If you are a nonprofit leader and want to know more about the Growability® fundamentals for organizational growth, reach out today to discover your options for coaching and training.
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Three Management Styles to Avoid
The best example I know of how leadership should work is found in the New Testament.
One day, the disciples of Jesus started bickering about who would be the leader. I hear their dialogue in my head. “Hey guys, guess what? I’m gonna be the leader.” “You can’t be the leader, Peter. You’re too pig-headed.” “I think James is the best choice for the leader.” James agrees. “James? Posh. James couldn’t lead his way out of a tin can.” Mathew pipes in. “I’m the only one of us who’s lived a day in the business world. I should be the leader.” Judas takes issue with that. Then Jesus shuts it all down.
“You know that the rulers in this world lord it over their people, and officials flaunt their authority over those under them. But among you, it will be different. Whoever wants to be a leader among you must be your servant, and whoever wants to be first among you must become your slave. For even the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve others and to give his life as a ransom for many.” Matthew 20:25-28
Jesus said everything we need to know about leadership and power in four concise sentences. Organizations today contain the same hierarchical power structures Peter and company were bickering over 2000 years ago. Jesus turns our typical model upside down. Building a hierarchy and clinging to power is a vicious cycle:
To keep my position on the ladder, I must kick down anyone below me to keep them from overtaking me. Meanwhile, I quietly submit to anyone above to keep from getting kicked. It’s a kick or be kicked world. So Jesus didn’t allow his disciples to make a ladder. He showed them a better way. Be like Jesus. Don’t hoard and protect power. Give it away. Power dynamics in every organization are complex and nuanced. No one navigates them perfectly. But sometimes we must lead inside those structures. That can be tricky. We need basic management skills. A healthy relationship with power as a leader is essential. Everything depends on how you treat the people you serve. Management is a big subject and has many moving parts. I teach an entire course on how to manage well.
Everyone should learn basic management, even if on a small scale. For leaders, good management is crucial. Whether you’re leading a small project, a new ministry, or an entire organization, the skill of managing people is important. We want to manage in a way that is both productive and empowering. We want to complete the work and build up and encourage our team members. So, today, let’s explore how to empower as we lead. There are three traps many new managers fall into. If you avoid these three traps, you are on a path to productive, empowering leadership.
Don’t be a micro-manager
“I will mitigate my insecurity by controlling you. “
We’ve all had micro-managers in our lives.
The boss who must sign off on every detail.
The manager peering over your shoulder and checking your keystrokes.
The supervisor who wants to know exactly what lesson you’re planning and how much time you spent planning it.
Micro-managers stifle productivity and destroy the culture of an organization. Most people don’t wake up in the morning intending to micro-manage. Many micro-manage because they used to do the mechanics of the job themselves. For example, you’re asked to teach a class. Your manager also used to teach this class. Even though you are teaching it now, they want to stay as connected as possible. The manager wants you to lesson plan the exact way they did, even if that’s not your style. They also want to approve your lesson plans before you teach. This is micro-managing.
Micromanagers assume their way is best and they can do it better than everyone else, taking power and creativity away from the team.
Do this instead: Empower others to do their work and let them do it. Provide training, clear communication channels, and accountability. Then let people do their jobs, ~their way~.
Don’t be a hero-manager
“Here I come to save the day!”
Hero managers differ from micro-managers in that they will let you do your work in whatever way suits you, your strengths, and your workstyle. Until you make a mistake. When someone missteps, the hero manager puts on a cape and swoops in to save the day. They cannot allow failure. The hero-manager is often someone conscious of the need to look good for donors or for the field director. Sometimes it’s about simple ego. The problem with this management style is that it doesn’t allow for the empowerment and growth of the team. People learn by making mistakes! Leaders shouldn’t aspire to be heroes. Leaders should aspire for everyone else to be all they’re called to be. That’s empowerment.
Do this instead: Allow people to fail gently. Build a culture of candor and grace, so when people make mistakes, you instruct, they correct course. This is how your project grows and your team gets stronger – and better.
Don’t be a buddy-manager
“I’m gonna be everybody’s friend!”
Friendship at work or with team members is important. I encourage it. But be careful when leading a project. Managers who try to be everyone’s buddy can end up being everyone’s frustration. Perhaps you’ve had a buddy-manager. Manager Mike is everyone’s friend and everyone likes him. The problem is when Billy Bob stops doing his job. Even though Cathy is more productive and doing more for the organization or the team, Manager Mike fills in where Billy Bob is lacking. “Billy Bob is our friend and we need to cut him some slack.”
The problem is that Cathy, along with everyone else on the team, is tired of carrying Billy Bob’s weight. This is incredibly demotivating for the rest of the team. Buddy-managing may seem like a great way to lead while “getting along with the team”. Buddy-managing is the quickest way to kill team culture.
Do this instead: Make clear expectations for everyone. Job descriptions and measurable goals will help everyone know expectations and create a positive peer pressure for accomplishing tasks. Do this during the project planning stage so you, as the leader, can hold everyone accountable to what is agreed upon at the beginning.
Leadership is hard. But you can learn. Build positive incentives, clear expectations, and genuine accountability into your team from the beginning. This is leadership that empowers. Remember that power is subtle. When you work at avoiding these management styles, you are on your way to being a better leader. Which kind of manager do you tend to be?
If this material is helpful to you, consider signing up for a Growability® Leadership Collaborative. These collaboratives are an immersive educational experience that equips you to maximize your leadership. Join a group of individuals committed to helping each other flourish in life and work.
At a fraction the cost of an MBA program, the Growability Collaborative provides the tools necessary to be an effective leader, manager and influencer. Contact me about joining one today!
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Are You a Toxic Leader?
Four signs you are swimming in harmful and toxic leadership water.
A river runs through the town where I live.
It’s called the Reedy.
Back in the day, when Greenville, SC was a working mill town and before the EPA existed, the Reedy River was the dumping ground for some serious toxic waste. It’s been cleaned up over the years. Downtown Greenville is beautiful now.
But there are still signs warning not to swim here.
Invisible bacteria and toxins are abundant in these waters. People swim here anyway. They don’t read the signs. They are ignorant of an incredibly unhealthy invisible environment. An environment that can make swimmers really sick.
This happens in organizations, as well.
Leaders addicted to the power create a toxic ecosystem. The people swimming in their sphere have no idea.
My biggest leadership concern is the number of leaders who don’t understand the dynamics of their own power.
We see these headlines weekly. They are disturbing. Another leader, exposed for abuse of power.
We don’t need more toxic leaders.
Toxic leadership results from an relationship with power, and every person who leads should guard their soul against this.
Many of my clients work in difficult situations with broken people and dysfunctional systems. Power abuse produces so many of these situations.
I work with a large number of folks working in Southeast Asia, all of whom are serving people marginalized because of the abuse of power.
The people of Cambodia are still suffering the repercussions of genocide from just a generation ago.
In Thailand, the powerful are trafficking the poorest.
We know people in the Philippines serving a marginalized minority group who were run off their historic homeland to scratch a living out of a mountainside.
Today, in Myanmar, the powerful have guns and are killing or imprisoning anyone who resists them.
This list could go for pages.
So much human suffering is a direct result of powerful people. Rather than using power for the betterment and uplifting of those who are without power, powerful people use power to secure their position of power, gain more money, or satiate their lust. The nature of power is to cling to it at all costs, and at the expense of anyone standing in the way.
How do you stay wary of power and the corruption that goes with it?
Step one: Recognize the Extent of Your Power
I used to be the pastor of a small church of around 100 people. It wouldn’t seem like a position of great power. There are many bigger churches with more influence and affluence.
This doesn’t matter. A little unchecked power goes a long way.
I remember the day it occurred to me I had the ear of nearly one hundred people for 45-minutes every single week. Those people knew me, liked me, and trusted me. The possibility of exercising toxic power was sobering. If you lead anything, however small, you have power. Thus, you have the potential for its abuse.
Uncle Ben of Spiderman fame was correct when he said, “With great power comes great responsibility.”
I say with any power comes great responsibility.
All leadership comes with great power. Recognize this. Failure to recognize our power is step one on a path to abusing it.
Step two: Look for the Warning Signs of Toxicity
Accountability isn’t enough. Too many people think they are accountable and aren’t. It’s too easy to lie to yourself and to others. Leaders are good at accountability avoidance.
When driving down an unfamiliar road, it’s important to watch for warning signs. I’m always on the lookout for these four “power alerts” in my life.
I coach people to keep watch for these, as well.
If you find yourself in a place of leadership, look out for these warning signs that your power is getting out of check.
1. The needs of those you serve are on the back burner
One of my early mentors looked me in the eye and said, “People always come before work. Because people are your work.” I’ve never forgotten this.
This is leadership lesson 101. People are always more important. More important than reputation or winning an argument or even the status of your organization. If reputation (yours or your organization) takes precedent over the needs of the people you serve, there is a potential power problem. Caution.
Unchecked power protects itself, its reputation, and its position first.
Influential leaders serve the good of people first.
2. You don’t keep your own rules
I once worked for someone who routinely and light-heartedly said, “Do as I say, and not as I do”. Sure, it was in quasi-jest. But I lost an element of respect for the leader and assumed all the policies of the organization were optional.
So did everyone else who worked for him.
Any leader who acts as if rules and policies don’t apply to them is in a dangerous place. Leaders are not above rules and a system of accountability. Don’t convince yourself otherwise. Hypocrisy is a warning sign of flaunting power.
3. Lack of discipline in mind, body, and soul
Even the Bible connects discipline of the body and discipline of the soul (I Corinthians 9:24-27). There’s not space here to talk about the importance of discipline and leadership here. (I’m currently reading Ryan Holiday’s new book, so there may be more to come in this area), but here’s what I know:
Consistent disruptions in my habits and rhythms are warning sirens that something is wrong. When my morning routine is regularly askew and my desk is in complete disarray, I know it’s time to check in with myself.
Discover the habits you need to be healthy: reading Scripture, prayer, healthy eating, making the bed, sleep patterns – whatever the rhythm is for you.
Notice when you’re out of rhythm and your regular disciplines wane. This is a sign something isn’t right, and you may be entering toxicity.
4. Lack of empathy
When a leader can no longer walk in the shoes of the people they serve, it’s a dire warning. Leaders who lack empathy are no longer in touch. Compassion and empathy are leadership behaviors, as much as are decision making and vision. Failure to listen, show interest, and encourage are signals that something deeper is wrong. It’s the beginning of toxic leadership.
To avoid dysfunctional and toxic leadership, recognize your own power and influence. You have more than you think.
Then be aware of the warning signs.
Putting your needs first
Breaking your own rules
Breaking your rhythms
Lack of empathy
We need more leaders.
But we can not substitute the quality of leadership for quantity. Leaders who turn toxic cause more harm than they will ever know.
Effective leaders understand themselves – and understand their power.
Guard your soul from the subtle lure of power and lead with the empathy, sacrifice, and authenticity. Heed the signs. Stop swimming in water that can harm you and everyone around you.
Do you have any personal danger signs warning that you’re entering toxic waters?
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The Rediscovery of Meaning: Things I Would Say if I Were Still a Pastor With a Pulpit
The “post” pandemic phenomena of quiet quitting, church-leaving, and the great-resignation
We went back to a Sunday morning church service again. It had been a minute. Or months. We restarted attending before the Omicron wave of the pandemic (what I lovingly refer to this as the pandemic’s Wordle phase). We stopped as cases in our area started rising. Again.
Our return wasn’t as uncomfortable as my mind was leading me to believe it would be. Some church-familiar things. Music, singing, preaching.
But there was a lot of unfamiliar and a bit of weird. I knew one song and maybe about 3 people. Our church had moved on without us while we were away. As they should have.
The most interesting phenomenon was, contrary to what I hear trending on Twitter, the number of young people in attendance was high. There were a lot of young Millennials and Zoomers. I was in an over-50 minority group. That seemed like a positive. With the ongoing news of younger generations leaving the Church, it should thrill my local church we have as many sticking around as there seems to be. Even more significantly, they were taking part: singing and playing in the band, and visibly taking part in the service.
Post-pandemic reshuffling in our society is real, and it covers a lot more than the space of religion.
Many people have changed jobs. A bunch more have changed their perspective of “hustle.” The glorification of “hustle culture” is fading from pop culture. The “great resignation” and “quiet quitting” are real. Social science is a complex subject. The qualifying factors in the global workforce reshuffling and the ongoing exodus from organized religion are subjects social scientists will study for years to come.
As someone with a theology degree who does business training, returning to a local church service brings up some significant theological issues that apply across our society. Here was my primary thought while driving home after the return of the Andersons to church: I don’t know how long those kids will continue with the current expression of church.
And I frankly don’t care. Now — hear me out. Don’t throw me under the bus, yet. If we’ve learned anything over the past three years of pandemic living, expressions of church (and work) are fleeting. They look different at every age. They look different in every culture. Our modern conception of religious expression is recent, when looking at history’s long haul. Today, we are in an akimbo of the cultural stream, where change is inevitable because it’s happening before our eyes. Church and business are experiencing these shifts.
In the past 100 years, the American Church has motivated people to church attendance with:
Guilt.
Electric Lights.
Music and entertainment.
Fear of hell.
Children and youth programming.
Preaching personalities.
Vast variety of gimmicks.
Similarly, the American workplace has motivated people to go to work with:
A paycheck.
Insurance.
A pension.
A nap room.
Open offices.
Vacation
Fitness centers.
Dogs (Bring-your-pet-to-work-day is a thing).
If the pandemic has taught us nothing else, surely we’ve learned that incentivizing behavior at superficial levels doesn’t last. I will not stay at a conventional Church service or a workplace for blow-up toys and nap rooms.
While I don’t care whether the young people I saw on my return-to-church Sunday stick with traditional church — I deeply care that those kids find purpose and meaning. I have similar thoughts about shifts in the workplace. So what if people “quiet quit”? I’m not concerned about when many people quit their jobs. Pundits and social commentators — and a lot of business owners — are taking the talking point: “No one wants to work anymore.” That’s the wrong take. If we are to frame this in the box of pejorative generalizations, I’d say it like this:
No one wants meaningless work. No one wants meaningless spirituality, either.
Meaning is an important place where church and business intersect.
Our world is in yet another stage of upheaval. It’s tough to quantify the chaos we are experiencing, because history is the story of constant change and revolution. From ancient migrations to better hunting grounds in the stone ages, to the rise and fall of empires, to global wars starting and ending. The pandemic, Putin, mass-shootings, weird global politics, the repercussions of climate change — the time that we’re in right now is a challenge we have to figure out.
The thing I believe we (the Church, along with employers) can provide is a sense of meaning and belonging despite the dismantling of the world. We can bring meaning and healing to coming generations. I believe most of the modern church in America is failing at this.
In simpler times (or at least so I thought), I was once a pastor. Now I am a business and nonprofit consultant with a theology degree. If I were still a pastor, there are three core elements of spirituality that I would never stop talking about. (And still don’t, I just don’t have a pulpit anymore.) Meaning is here.
Our core spirituality we should be “meaning in exile”.
This world will never be what we hope for. In this life, we will never be fully at home here. Yet, there is incredible beauty here that will make us feel at home. This world is also being recreated and redeemed because of the resurrection of Jesus. Until that day, we are exiles. One of the most deceptively dangerous teachings I’ve ever come across is “the Gospel is an escape route to heaven.” That is unequivocally false. The Gospel is “good news” because God, through Christ, is coming to sort out the incredible mess we’ve got ourselves into. That’s going to happen. In the meantime, we wait.
Proper Christian theology eliminates the sacred/secular divide.
We must stop practicing an extra-Biblical dualism. I believe this means we need to stop thinking about things like ordination and clergy. Regular people should run the Church. “Lay people”, so to speak. It shouldn’t be strange when businesses are led by people with theology degrees. The Gospel eliminates the sacred and the secular. It gives the potential for all of life to be holy. This means:
Legitimize (seek Kingdom in) every meaningful occupation.
Jesus said quite clearly,
"But seek first his Kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you, as well." -- Matthew 6:33
This means looking around every corner and behind every vocation asking, “Where is Kingdom here? Let me see it. Let me find it.” Your work means something, whether you run a multi-billion dollar business, or work as a store clerk or a babysitter. Seek the Kingdom and the consequences of the Kingdom in everything. This also means:
Stop discipling people in the Church to be good Church members.
Disciple people to be good neighbors, employers, employees, world citizens, students, humans. And while we’re at it, could we also stop trying to disciple people with sermons? That’s not how Jesus did it. We need to stop trying. I know this point well. I used to say, “If you want to be discipled, come to my church and sit under my teaching.” That was arrogant, wrong, and ineffective. Discipleship is being with people. It’s the hard and messy work of dealing with their lives. It’s being a part of the construction, the deconstruction, the decluttering, and the rebuilding. We need better examples of discipleship than what I ever gave back in the day.
Hope is our greatest asset.
The goal of redemption is bigger than my personal salvation from sin so that I can go to heaven when I die. The goal of redemption is the renewal of all things. Until the day comes when that will be complete, we are a part of this “Kingdom Seeking”. I’m still figuring this out. I still don’t know what Church looks like for us. But I know I want to be a vessel of hope and meaning in an age of exile.
Note: I use the term “post-pandemic” loosely. Most of the world is acting as if we’re done. The reality is there are still many people who die of COVID-19 every week. This is something important to remember.
A brief bibliography: Two books have influenced my thinking about this article.
Exiles on Mission by Paul S. Williams
Surprised by Hope by N.T. Wright I highly recommend reading both.
What are your thoughts? Let me know in the comments aspects you think are important to an exilic spirituality. What does this mean to you?
Are you a ministry or business leader interested in exploring how to discover meaning in work and ministry — while helping others to do the same? Join a Growability® Collaborative. New ones are forming now. Connect with me if your are interested!
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We staying in the #jewishghetto while in Rome. There were placards in front of doors remembering the Jewish people who were arrested and eventually killed (most of the at #aushwitz). The mid 1940s in this neighborhood must have been horrifying. We arrived at our flat about 1:00 AM. The directions said go up the stairs and it’s first door on the right. What we didn’t understand is that you go up TWO flights of stairs. So I tried the door and heard something in Italian. We had the wrong room. We found it by climbing another set of stairs. I came back down a little later to find something open with a snack, and an old Jewish Italian man was standing at the door. We had this conversation: Me: I am so sorry. We had the wrong room. Him: Oh Okay. I heard and it scared me! Me: I’m very sorry. Him: Its okay, okay. Me: Thanks for understanding we’re staying upstairs. Him: Ahh — enjoy Italy. Here’s the button you need to open the outside door as you leave. Me. That’s great! Thanks! He spoke no English. I spoke no Italian. We had a moment of human communication. Humanizing people of all cultures is how we keep nazis and holocausts from ever happening again. (at Ghetto di Roma) https://www.instagram.com/p/CinWYO_jrGa/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=
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Italian countryside. Medieval towns. Castles and vineyards. It’s a good day. (at Orvieto) https://www.instagram.com/p/CikjarDDUxA/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=
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GMT20220621-121017_Recording_gallery_1280x720 from Bernie Anderson on Vimeo.
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To Move Fast, Slow Down
The world is flying at your face with breakneck speed.
There are ten thousand times ten thousand inputs that are creating stress and anxiety in your life. It's exhausting.
Our tendency is to keep up. Or at least try our best. If the world is running fast, we've gotta run faster. As more stuff flies our way, we run faster still.
Here's a dark secreet. You will never keep up. Not at this pace. Always behind becomes a way of life.
There is a counterintuitive solution to the madness. You must slow down in order to speed up.
When life is going way too fast for you, don't try to make time.
Take time to slow down.
Learn to be slow. Slow to speak. Slow to anger. Slow to respond. Slow to say, "yes." Take time for solitude and prayer.
When we slow down a surprising thing happens to us:
The things we care about set pace with you.
The things we don't really care about run ahead, or in another directionn.
Leaders are not the people running the fastest. (Not usually) Leaders are always the people who are most intentional.
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