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ceesimz · 5 hours ago

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Misunderstood

Arguments aren't your strongsuit, especially with the person you love most. (Autistic reader)

Other parts of Reverie can be found here! Hope you enjoy :)

If anyone asked you, you would say your relationship was perfect. It was everything you hoped and dreamed for, and more.

Yet, nothing is completely perfect, no matter how much you try or long for it to be. Even the healthiest, happiest relationships had their moments. That was the reality, but that didn’t stop you from panicking at the first sign of conflict.

An argument was always inevitable, especially in a fairly new relationship, which you knew of course, you just never thought it would happen in the way it did. Not only was conflict possibly the thing you hated most in the world, but it was the cause of the argument that really hurt.

Sometimes, it was hard for you to read people. Other times, you could read them so well, it weirded them out. In your books, the only people that could truly hide how they felt, were autistic people. Masking was natural instinct and when you're unknowingly forced by society and its allistic habits of finding anything other than ‘normal’ weird to hide every aspect of what makes you human, you learn from others’ body language and actions and facial expressions about how to fit in. The knock-on effect of that is you also learn how to spot the signs in other people when they’re trying to disguise their feelings, autistic or not.

That’s why Alexia loved the fact she didn’t have to say much for you to realise when she was in a depleted mood… most of the time.

“Cariño?” Alexia sighed as she stepped into her apartment, knowing you were somewhere around.

Whilst you had a day off, Alexia had been going from place to place, feeling as if she had seen more of Barcelona in one day than a tourist in a week. It had been one of those days where it seemed like everyone needed something from her, and for whatever reason, she couldn’t say no. She didn’t realise that everything she had agreed to in the last month or two had been scheduled all in a single day, meaning she didn’t get home until 8pm, a whole thirteen hours after she first left that morning.

The last thing she wanted to do that day, and everyday, was to upset you.

“Where are you.” She mumbled, dumping her bag beside the shoe rack that she left her trainers beside, too exhausted to even think about the mess she was leaving behind. The mess around her apartment was another story.

The kitchen looked as if an explosion had occurred, tupperware and plates and cutlery all over the counters, the only saving grace for the frustration that slowly built being the trays of freshly baked goods of whatever variety neatly organised and filling her home with a sweet scent. Her lounge was thankfully less chaotic, bar the blanket left strewn on the sofa and a couple pillows haphazardly placed around, though it was empty without you.

When she stepped into her bedroom for the first time that night, there was a smile on her face.

You were in her room, headphones on and in your own world, humming quietly whilst you folded up then put away a mix of your clothes and Alexia’s. Over time, since that date back in December at the walled garden with the pansies and the kiss and the admissions, the two of you hardly ever spent time apart. The only time you did was when Alexia went away for Spain camp or one of you was so busy you didn’t want to disrupt the other. Otherwise, every night at least was with each other. Why wouldn’t you? Spending the day with separate friends or like Alexia’s case that day, at work, just to come home to each other was something you both adored.

That meant that some of your belongings had gradually made their way over to Alexia’s apartment, and vice versa. To walk in on you doing something so simple like joint laundry, it caused a barrage of sentimental feelings to rise inside of her. It was like a glance into her future.

Though, with your headphones on and no doubt blasting your music so loud Alexia should be concerned about your hearing, she didn’t want to scare you. So she simply stood in the doorway, leaning on the wooden frame with her arms crossed, a soft and adoring look on her face as she did so. A minute or two passed by until you turned to notice her, flinching a little before you smiled beamingly at her.

“Hola, guapa.” You grinned, dropping your headphones and the sweater you were folding onto the bed, and bounding over to Alexia.

“Hola, guapa.” Alexia repeated in a quieter voice, distinctly lacking the same excitement as your tone did. Her arms wrapped around your waist as yours linked around her shoulders, completely missing all the tension that she held there. “How was your day?”

“It was so good, I loved it. But all day I was thinking about you and coming home to you. It’s quite late for a work day, are you okay?” You inquired, feeling her nod into your shoulder where she rested her forehead.

Any other time, that reply wouldn’t have been enough for you, you would have questioned her further.

You don’t know how or why, but you didn’t recognise her subdued behaviour at that moment. It didn’t exactly make sense to you, nor could you ever in your life find the words to explain why, this was just something that happened sometimes. Maybe it had something to do with you feeling so happy that you wanted to spread that and share it with others. It was a very admirable habit with nothing but the best intentions, it just… didn’t come off that way sometimes.

Your joy was so all-consuming, it was hard to focus on anything else. The world was brighter, you felt lighter, and almost nothing could bring you down. Everything else was just background noise, you’d unknowingly honed in on the complete elation you felt that it kind of made you oblivious to the things around you. Or, more specifically, the people around you, and their true feelings.

You weren’t aware at the time that it was happening. If you did know what was going on, you’d stop in a heartbeat. Unfortunately, nine times out of ten, that’s not something that can be done.

“Thank you for doing laundry while I was gone.” Alexia said, leaning back a little to smile tiredly down at you.

“Of course! I figured you wouldn’t want me stealing more of your clothes so it was kind of a necessity.” You failed to notice the way her smile didn’t reach her eyes like it always did. “I baked earlier, did you see? Ingrid gave me some recipes that I tried, they came out really good. You should try some after dinner.”

“I will.” She agreed with a lazy hum, having to hide her frown when you pulled out of her arms and away from her.

“I left the kitchen a bit… messy. Sorry. I’ll clean it, I swear, but maybe it’s best if we order in tonight?” You grimaced, walking backwards out of the bedroom towards the aforementioned room as Alexia nodded at your suggestion. “Great! You order, you know what I like, I’ll get started with cleaning.”

You turned around the corner and out of Alexia’s sight. She sighed, again, and her hands fell to her hips as she did so. It wasn’t that she was annoyed at you, she just couldn’t find the words to properly express how she felt.

Up to this point of your relationship, she had never had a day like this, where she was so completely and thoroughly exhausted. Not just that, but also feeling like if she didn’t get into bed sooner rather than later, she might just… cry. She wanted to cry. But she didn’t exactly know why, maybe from being so tired and overwhelmed, she didn’t know. The only things she did know were that she didn’t want to entertain that side of her because she wanted so desperately to enjoy the evening with you. After all, she didn’t have to cook or clean or do any other chores, you’d taken care of all the stresses she had worried about as she gradually felt her energy slip away from her throughout the day. Yet, she couldn’t quite break down the few remaining walls of insecurity that came with any relationship, where she was afraid of showing the weaker, more vulnerable version of herself.

She didn’t want to restrict your relationship with the confines of stereotypes, but she thought of herself as someone as strong and good in a crisis. She was always there when you needed her, there was just some part of her that couldn’t find peace with the idea of reversing those roles. You would be mad if you found out about those thoughts of hers, Alexia knew that, though the thought of opening up about it and starting that conversation was not something she planned to do anytime soon. They were her problems and her problems only, they didn’t need to be yours too.

So she took a deep breath, or four, and left her bedroom to follow after you, opening up the takeout delivery app on her phone.

However, when she stepped into her bedroom for the second time that night, she made one of the biggest mistakes she knew she could make.

For about twenty minutes beforehand, she couldn’t get a word in with you. You followed her throughout the apartment, from the kitchen when you were done to the lounge, to the balcony, to the small space she had made into her office and back to the bedroom, rambling about anything on your mind, something Alexia normally adored. Though on this occasion, the only thing she wished for was your company and some silence. She had one of those things, but not the other. She didn’t have it in her heart to put a stop to it, she knew what that would do to you and how it’d make you feel.

Instead, she indirectly hurt you anyway, in a much worse way.

You trailed after her, mindlessly, unaware of the internal struggles locked up inside the woman in front of you as she padded into her bedroom with her head down and tears burning her eyes. It wasn’t until you heard a sniffle from her, still looking at her back profile, that you decided to ask if she was okay. She paused in the doorway, quickly wiping her eyes with the sleeve she bunched around her hand, before sighing and placing her hands on her hips. As she shook her head slightly, you went to talk again, now definitely concerned, but she beat you to it.

“I need a break.”

There was a tremble to her quiet voice which you heard, but all you could concentrate on was the pain you felt as a result. Those four short words cut through your joy like a knife, tainted and tarnished by memory after memory of having been told the same thing before by people you adored, you trusted.

Maybe if you thought rationally, you would have understood the true meaning of her words. But all you could focus on was that the one phrase you hoped to never hear fall from her lips had come. There was no rational thinking to be done here. Your biggest insecurity had just had a spotlight shined on it, you at centre stage with a theatre of people laughing at the scene they had witnessed, their hysteria a cruel reminder of ‘I told you so’ in much the same way the devil on your shoulder so often liked to remind you of.

You thought you were making her feel better, she always liked to tell you that your happiness was her favourite thing about you. So what was different about this time? You didn’t understand. The only thing you could think of was the one thing that was your worst nightmare.

You were too much for her. Something you’d been told before many times. Alexia was the last person you thought would think that about you. And that’s why it hurt more than any other occasion before.

Your body reacted as if you were in shock; your hands went numb, pins and needles shooting up your arms, and a high-pitched ringing gradually made its way into your ears and drowned out every other sound around you. Alexia’s statement might have been nothing, but not to you. What she said hit you like a bullet or ten, because this always happened. You got to know someone, trusted them, opened up to them, loved them, only for you to get too comfortable being yourself in their presence and either annoying them or scaring them to death.

Every time you open up your heart in such a way, you always lose a piece of yourself that may never return to make you whole again in the same way as before. Alexia took your heart and your soul this time. It’s strange, that with just a few words, the people who make you feel most alive can also make you feel more invisible than you ever thought possible.

Perhaps this could be worked out, one day. You would never forget it though, and you weren’t sure you could ever look at Alexia the same again.

In the midst of your anxious spiralling, the woman you thought the world of had made her way into the ensuite bathroom and closed the door behind her. It gave you the perfect time to do the one single thing your clouded mind could think of.

Leaving.

—

The space beside her in bed was empty when Alexia woke up. A silence had settled throughout the apartment, which was relaxing at first, before her tired haze wore off and she slowly began to come back to her senses. Apparently she had accidentally fallen asleep, fully dressed and on top of the covers, after she left the ensuite. Immediately, that silence was something that swiftly began to fill her with dread.

Alexia never napped. But when she did, you were always right beside her. It didn’t help her anxieties that there were no signs of life coming from any other rooms of her home. Her bedroom door was open, yet there were no sounds from the TV in the lounge, no commotion from you and your grievances with cooking that never failed to make her smile, the spare bedroom was pitch black in contrast to the way it lit up with whatever video game you often chose to play.

One thing the pair of you had discovered was how much joy and contentment you got from merely existing in the same space. As Alexia sat on the sofa reading a book or watching something on the TV, you weren’t far away, only on the other side of the couch also reading or listening to music with headphones on. If you were using the gaming console Alexia had spontaneously decided to buy you for the spare bedroom, just so you had a space to hide away in her apartment, the blonde was often lay on the bed there, iPad in hand and going through her emails or watching match tapes or chatting with her family, more than satisfied by being in the same room as you.

In this case, it should have been the same. You should have been there beside her as she slept, it was routine to be attached at the hip, manoeuvring through the apartment together like there was rope around your waists.

Except this time, you weren’t.

She went from room to room, opening any and all doors even if they did lead to storage cupboards, only to realise you had left.

There were no messages from you on her phone and as she sent one of her own to you, it didn’t even get delivered. Wherever you were, your phone was completely off, a fact that increased her concern tenfold.

Two places came to mind. And if you weren’t at either of those, well… she was well and truly screwed. Her nervous system too, that’d be so completely shot that she didn’t think her heart could ever return to a healthy BPM rate.

It took her hardly any time at all to drive over to the first destination she thought of. Her hands shook as she drove, whether that be from the white-knuckled grip she had on the wheel or the nerves coursing through her, and they trembled even as she jogged up the steps of your apartment block to your flat, her spare key already clutched tight in her fist. Of course, she was never one to disrupt your privacy, so she waited a good five minutes at your door after knocking and talking through it before she let herself in.

Just as she feared, you weren’t there. Your whole apartment was untouched, left entirely as it had been when the pair of you left the previous morning. The only difference was the fact that the light of the night’s full moon was streaming through the gap in the curtains, the sun having set as she unknowingly slept earlier. The darkness that cascaded the place you called home wasn’t too dissimilar to what Alexia’s life was like without you. She would do anything to not have to experience it permanently. She wasn’t sure she could ever live the same way she did before you; meeting you had changed everything, and life would forever feel like a shadow of the warmth she had with you.

And once she had made it up to Ingrid and Mapi’s apartment, she got a glimpse of that prospect. It was a monumental mistake to assume you’d be there.

“Alexia? What are you doing here?” Ingrid answered the door in utter confusion, her voice a small whisper as she stepped out into the corridor and closed the door slightly behind her.

“She’s here, no? Can you tell her to come home?” Alexia asked somewhat desperately, exasperation clear in her tone.

“What? Who are you ta- oh. No, she’s not here, it’s just María and I. Why?” Ingrid continued to look perplexed at the strange appearance of her captain, until she looked into the midfielder’s eyes and saw they were wide and full of regret, concern, guilt, all things that made her odd presence click in her mind. “Alexia. What did you do?”

Alexia snapped out of her frozen state as the gravity of her realisation hit her; she had made you think that she was tired of you. That you were the thing she needed a break from. As if that could ever be true.

It didn’t matter though, what Alexia thought and what had happened earlier. The most important thing now was how she acted, how she repaired the situation.

“I messed up. She was talking and happy, and I had just got home from working all day. I was so tired, I wasn’t thinking straight! I said something that was not directed at her, never at her, but I think… I think she thought it was. It wasn’t, I prom-”

“What did you say?” Ingrid demanded through gritted teeth.

“I… I said I needed a break.” Alexia let out a shaky breath once she’d spoken, slumping back against the wall behind her and doubling over slightly so that her hands were on her knees. Ingrid stared at her, either in rage or disappointment or what, the blonde wasn’t sure, but she didn’t say a thing whilst Alexia sniffled and wiped away a tear that fell without even realising she had begun crying. “Oh, fuck. I messed up so bad.”

“Yes, you did, because that’s her worst nightmare! To hear someone say they need a break, especially in that scenario, is her number one insecurity. How could you s-”

“You think I don’t know that!?” Alexia stood up straight and snapped, though the fight immediately drained out of her. She slid down the wall until she was on the ground, knees to her chest with her arms atop them as she cried into her hands. Ingrid softened, just slightly, and came to sit beside her. “What do I do, Ingrid? She’s not here, not at her apartment, not at mine. Her phone isn’t on. I have no idea where she is or what I would say to her.”

“I’m on her side, not yours. This is your problem and you have to figure out how to fix it.” She started with the classic friendly warning, before moving on to what she actually wanted to say. “I think this is something you will both forget by tomorrow, as long as you say exactly the right words. What those are, well… that's what you need to decide on. You have to figure out what you want to say to her to make her believe you because it's not going to be easy. You can't just tell her you didn't mean it, explain yourself clearly. But you have to work that out on your own. I can't help you with that.”

The blonde nodded and took a deep breath.

“I know. Madre de dios, I know.” She mumbled, running her hands through her hair and leaning her head back against the wall. “You are angry at me, and I know that. Ingrid, you have to know I didn’t mean it in that way. I never need a break from her, she is the love of my life. It’s not an excuse but I had a really long day at work, that’s what I said I needed a break from. I know I did not make that clear, and… now look what I have done.”

Ingrid pursed her lips and reassuringly squeezed Alexia’s forearm. Sometimes she got too defensive over you, like now with Alexia. Maybe that would never change, it wasn’t the easiest habit to shake off. However, she was getting slightly better at letting go of the need to do and fix everything bad that happened to you. With the introduction of Alexia into your life, she had no choice but to do that. It was hard, of course it was, yet she was trying her best and that seemed to be working. Even now, as she itched to grab her car keys and drive through all of Barcelona just to find you. That wasn't up to her anymore though. Only if it was really necessary for her to step in.

Both her defensive nature and her new attitude of letting go, they came from a place of love, from having been there every time someone said almost the identical thing that Alexia had said. To most, that phrase wouldn’t really bother many people. They would either know that the other person meant it in terms of work, or their life in general. Except you weren’t most people. Given your reaction to the situation at hand, all the evidence was there that this wasn’t a small thing to you. It quite literally felt like the end of the world, there was no other way to describe it.

All Ingrid could do was hope that her friend was wise enough to be able to get the two of you out of this misunderstanding unharmed.

“Tell her that then. And more, obviously.” Ingrid teased lightly, pulling a small smile from Alexia. “Just speak from your heart, if you tell the truth then she will of course believe you. But I will seriously hurt you if you upset her again.”

“Lo sè.” Alexia replied, a hint of… fear in her voice? Ingrid really had to suppress her smirk then.

“Now go. Go find her. You know the places she could be, just think. If you can’t find her and get really worried, then call some of us and we’ll come help.”

And with that, Alexia left.

—

You didn’t hear the first call of your name. Nor did you hear the second, or the third, or the fourth. It wasn’t until someone sat beside you that you came back down to earth.

“Lieverd, what are you doing here? Are you okay?” Esmee was the one next to you on the bench you found yourself on.

A crooked, old, wooden bench with its paint chipping off under your hands that fidgeted anxiously, in the middle of… the very place you first kissed the woman that had now done you wrong. You weren’t sure how you got here, when you had arrived, and why this was the place you decided to flee to. Yet, here you were.

“Daniëlle, can you go on my phone and text Alexia? And maybe Ingrid? Please?”

The younger woman’s girlfriend nodded immediately and pulled out said phone, stepping away to give you two privacy as she did so. Esmee turned back to you and stifled a sigh. She ran through everything in her mind of what she had seen Alexia and Ingrid do to help, and from what you had told her in the past.

One of the first things that came to mind is that time you said on some occasions, especially when you're quite overwhelmed, you can go non-verbal. Your body and mind shuts down, internally honing in on all that was stressing you out whilst everything externally ceases to register for you. It seemed that was what was happening now.

From what she had seen so far, you were staring straight ahead, eyes locked across the yard on a bed of flowers that had sprung to life even more than when you had been there all those months ago in the winter. Esmee didn't want to cross any boundaries or make you feel worse by reaching out to comfort you through a hug or just a hand on your arm, so she didn't.

“I text them both, Alexia is on her way. She'll be here soon.” Daniëlle said, handing the phone back to the other Dutch girl and watching from afar.

If Esmee needed her, she'd be more than happy to step in. However, she didn't want to intrude, and she didn't really know much about you or what to do in this situation. And if you were in an able mindset, you would tell her that you appreciated that more than you would ever be able to express.

“Good, thank you.” Esmee flashed a quick smile at her before focusing her attention back to you.

Still, you were unresponsive. Conscious of course, but totally unresponsive, your eyes glued to the scenery across from you.

The whole area was astoundingly gorgeous; all bright colours with the fullest trees, somehow drowning out the noise of the busy city around, providing a safe haven that had the complete opposite effect for you. Despite the good memories tied to it, the only thing on your mind was how you had lost everything in just one conversation. All the memories were tinged with a sickening amount of heartbreak.

Those white pansies you were looking at were beautiful, more so than back in December, which made it so much worse. They'd grown and flourished in tandem with your relationship, except now the latter was dead and buried whilst they flaunted their life in front of you. Thriving and beautiful, just like you and Alexia had once been. Now what were you? A thing of the past? What were you supposed to do now? You didn't come to Barcelona to play on a team with your ex-girlfriend, so maybe you should put in a request for a tr-

“Hey, come back to me. I'm right here, it's just me, Esmee.” Slowly but surely, the gentle coaxing of Esmee’s words pulled you out of the prison your own brain had made for you. “You're listening to me, right? You can hear me?”

You nodded, a little cautiously and distant, but it was all she could ask for. As you did so, you averted your eyes downwards and away from your close friend because you couldn’t bear looking at those stupid flowers any longer.

“If I give you my phone, do you think you could write into my notes app? Tell me what’s wrong? That’s all I want to know, alright?” Again, you nodded, though this time with much more conviction, and Esmee was sure she had never been so relieved in her life. With much more desperation than required, she fumbled through her phone in a rush that would have had you laughing if you weren’t in the state you were in. “Okay, here. Whatever you want or need.”

She watched as your hands trembled whilst typing, and she wasn’t sure what she expected to read but it definitely wasn’t-

Alexia said she needed a break from me.

“What!?” The girl shrieked, Daniëlle having to suppress her laughter at the sudden outburst. Esmee swore she saw the tiniest of smiles on your face. “Wow. What an idiot she is! Look, I am not good at confrontation, or getting angry, or shouting, but… if you want me to do any of those things, I will for you.”

Then, you did smile. Not a bright, beaming, eye-creasing one, but a smile nonetheless. And a shake of your head too for good measure.

“No? Thank god.” She breathed out dramatically, hearing her girlfriend laugh and no doubt rolling her eyes. “I don’t think I could shout at Alexia. You should get Ingrid to do it.”

No matter how much she wished to, Esmee knew this wasn’t a problem she could solve. She had seen the reply from Alexia a moment ago and decided to not discuss the matter further, because it seemed the captain already had a plan of action and would arrive at any moment. Instead, she did her best to distract you, to cheer you up, with the help of Daniëlle too.

All was going well, before the gate into the garden creaked open and the sound of heavy footsteps against gravel disrupted the calm that had settled, bringing back all the thoughts you had only just gotten rid of.

“There you are! Oh, thank god, I-” Alexia cut off her own rambling when she came to her senses, slightly breathless, as she looked at you.

Eyes red from crying earlier, which Esmee had noticed but chose not to mention, and anxiety radiating from your body. Alexia could sense it almost instantly, even from a good few metres away. It was a sharp but necessary reminder of the night’s events and her truly foolish words.

“Alexia…” Esmee said with a pointed look, her voice stern enough to have the blonde shrinking into herself, even despite the age difference between them both. Turns out, complete and utter anger had no problem making itself known to anyone of any age.

“Could… could you give us some privacy, please?” Alexia asked nervously. The two Dutch women by your side took great pleasure in glaring at her for a couple more seconds before glancing at each other and giving in.

“Let me know if you need anything, yeah? Anything at all.” Esmee whispered, to which you smiled and leaned into her. She took that as a sign, so wrapped her arm around your shoulders to give you a gentle hug, until she pulled away and linked arms with Daniëlle. One more stare later, and the two left the garden.

For a few moments, the only sounds that could be heard was the wind, winding and weaving through the bushes and trees, leaves brushing against each other, and the noise of it helped to ease the tension for you. Silence in situations like this could be extremely uncomfortable for you, so much so that it was just another thing that could entice you to up and leave at any given moment. However, in this instance, the wind and the sounds of life coming from the streets around you was the perfect peacekeeper.

Well, it was for you, at least.

Alexia took a couple cautious steps towards you until she knew you weren’t going to tell her to stay away, awkward and shy in her movements. Then she took a seat beside you, ensuring to leave enough space so that you didn’t feel more uncomfortable than you probably already did.

“Engel, I… I am so sorry.” She began in an insecure, worried whisper. As she expected, you gave her no reaction, not a single hint of anything you could be feeling right now. Though, you found yourself staring at those flowers again, wondering how you could let time slip by so fast that you ended up at this point without even realising it. “I didn’t mean that I needed a break from you. I would never ever say that, nor would I ever mean it. I was talking about work, it was a really long day, and I wasn’t thinking stra-”

“You weren’t thinking straight? You weren’t thinking straight when you told me to shut up?” You finally snapped, even out-strengthening your tendency to stay quiet in scenarios like this, all because of how betrayed you felt. The fury was quite obviously kicking in now, white hot anger that set alight every nerve in your body.

“No no no, I didn’t tell you to shut up! It wasn’t directed towards you, but I know how you could have inferred it, and for that I am more sorry than my stupid mouth could say. I have messed up already, I never want to do that again. I love you, so much. So much, cariño, and I really am so sorry.”

Her voice trailed off, quivering as it did. Against your will, you found that sudden burst of frustration began to dissipate. It gave way for a disappointing amount of sympathy. You sat there, silent, as she leaned forward with her elbows on her knees and her hands covering her face. The sniffles coming from her really didn’t help your case, but you weren’t one to give up so quickly.

“Next time you think I’m too much, please tell me. Please save me the embarrassment and tell me to leave you alone. Because to hear you say that? Hurt more than anything in my life.”

Honestly, your mouth was running on autopilot at this point. Your mind still felt a little hazy, but the words came pouring out regardless. You could have sworn Alexia physically flinched at your words, making you feel guilty, because the idea set in that… maybe, after all this was just a misunderstanding. A miscommunication.

Whether you were upset or angry or annoyed, Alexia didn’t blame you for it. Of course such a statement, especially in a moment like that, would make you panic so much. Hell, if someone said it to her in the way she said it, she was sure her reaction wouldn’t be too dissimilar to yours.

With some deep breaths, gaining her composure again, Alexia tentatively slid closer on the bench towards you.

“I do not think you are too much. I do not. I never will.” She said softly, willing away her emotions and, most importantly, her shame, for the sake of making a fighting argument. Fighting for you and your trust. “I promise to you that such words will never leave my lips. I will never say anything like that again, especially directed at you. I made a mistake saying that, and I swear this is not an excuse, but work was really hard. Really tiring. All I wanted then was you and only you. I got home, and I just… wanted to cry. I really wanted to cry. But then I saw you, how happy you were, and I knew that would make me feel better. Plus, I didn’t want to… bring you down from your joy by crying in front of you like that.”

Hearing her say those things, it was hard. You knew instantly it wasn’t a trust thing, that she didn’t tell you what was going on in her mind, but instead just a rather irritating and obviously detrimental habit of hers. Despite that though, here she was, beside you and begging for your forgiveness. Now this was a circumstance you had never found yourself in before – someone saying something that offended you, only to apologise afterwards and explain themselves.

Yet, you weren’t letting her off that easily.

“But do you understand why I reacted like this?” You wondered. Her answer would determine the future of your relationship with her.

“Yes. Yes, I do, engel, I really do. I know you worry that you will steer people away, or make them think you are weird, things like that. I assure you, you could never steer me away. Never.” She answered you desperately, hoping you were taking her words into account and truly understanding them.

No matter how much it annoyed you, you found yourself believing her. After all, other than this moment here, she really hadn’t given you a reason to doubt her. In the short time you’d known her, she had done more for you and loved you better than most people had in the years you had known them. Those facts weren’t exactly helping your case in staying mad at her.

“You promise it was just a bad day at work?” You found yourself mumbling sheepishly, which Alexia took as her signal to move in. She shuffled a little closer again, and deftly took hold of your hands, squeezing them in your lap.

“It was just a bad day at work. It had nothing to do with you, mi amor, I was glad to see you. I really didn't want to off-load my day onto you when you were so happy. I love seeing you happy, you know that, and it cheered me up seeing you like that. I was overwhelmed and stressed because it was such a long, difficult day. I think everything caught up with me. Please believe me when I say it was nothing that you did.”

Her words were beginning to sink in, especially with how honest and open she was being about her version of the day. Unfortunately, things aren’t that simple.

“So let me take care of you next time, tell me you’ve had a long day and you feel awful, so that I can help you and take care of you. I don’t… why didn’t you want to tell me that in the first place? Don’t you trust me?”

Alexia could hardly stand the vulnerability and the pain in your voice as you spoke. She held immeasurable amounts of shame towards herself at how she’d hurt you so much. You sounded distraught by the events, and she knew what you were telling her now was just a drop in the ocean of how you actually felt. She was disappointed in herself. From the moment she met you and got to know you, she promised that she wouldn’t hurt you. Maybe that wasn’t a realistic thing to do, since this is life after all and nothing is promised, but she hated herself for causing this.

“I don’t know. I wish I could tell you. But I do trust you, more than anyone in the world. You are everything to me and I am sorry for making you think otherwise. You deserve better and I will work to become that.” It was her turn for her voice to shake as she replied to your doubts, and the tight-lipped smile on her face gave away exactly what was on her mind.

By this point, you did feel bad for jumping to conclusions, because her reaction now so clearly told you the true meaning of her statement earlier. Pair that with her words here, you didn’t have any reason not to believe her anymore.

Every bone in your body longed for her to hold you, or vice versa. So, you did. You dropped her hands, which panicked Alexia for half a second, before she froze when you turned towards her and wrapped your arms around her shoulders. It took a moment or two for her to catch up, but when she did, she instantly returned your embrace and sighed in relief when her forehead met the side of your neck.

“I’m not sure this is something I can… forget so easily. You say you didn’t mean it but the words came out anyway, and I trust you, but… I worry. And I will continue to worry, and feel anxious, especially on my bad days. This isn’t a quick fix. I’m still going to be scared you did mean it that way.” You told her truthfully.

This was a moment that needed every ounce of honesty you had to give, even if that might be slightly terrifying, but relationships were built on trust and if you didn’t offer that to each other, then what was the point in it all. Alexia could work with this though, she was more than grateful for the fact you trusted her, even still.

“I understand that, I really do.” Alexia pulled back and her hands came up to hold you by your shoulders. You chance it and look in her eyes, properly, for the first time that night. The emotions present there confirm everything you had come to realise; it was an honest mistake. “I will do everything to erase those anxieties for you. I seriously and genuinely could never think those things about you. I didn’t mean for this to happen, but you will see, in everything I do from now that the way I feel about you is so real, so deep to me. Making you upset? I never intend to do that. I hope you see the true intentions of everything I do with you and for you, because I love and adore you with everything in my body. You are my life now. Thank you for trusting me. That is not something I take for granted, and I never will. Thank you for giving me the opportunity to continue loving you.”

Whereas some people in the past would have laughed at you for getting so worked up at such a ‘small’ thing, Alexia was right in front of you saying all the right things you didn’t even know someone could say about you, especially in a relationship. She wasn’t trivialising or mocking your feelings, she took the time to listen, to understand, and to reassure you.

One conversation can lead to a lot of things. The one you had just had proved that to the highest degree. No person or thing is perfect, but as long as the time and effort is there, you were certain that your relationship could make it through basically anything. That’s because, despite what had led you two here, you think you might have just fallen even more in love with Alexia than before.

So you gazed up at her, your hands linked loosely behind her neck, and found yourself smiling. You just had one more thing to say to her, which was so important to you for her to know. After all, relationships and communication went both ways.

“I don’t need you to change. You’re already exactly what I deserve and what I want.” You whispered softly, hoping she understood the depth of your words and realised you forgave her for something that wasn’t her fault in the first place. It was a harmless misunderstanding.

“I really do love you.” Alexia stated, leaning her forehead against yours and exhaling quietly. Her hands slid off your shoulders and moved to bring you in for another tight hug. “So much.”

“I know you do. I love you too.” At your reply, she turned her head and repetitively placed kisses upon your cheek.

Some people had no qualms saying you were too much for them, because that’s what they genuinely believed. And it hurts. Others think you’re not quite enough for them, which may also be true for them. But for the people that truly mattered, you were enough, and you always would be. You just have to have a little more faith in yourself.

—

thank you to everyone that reads my stories and supports them, but especially for these ones. can never properly convey how much it means to me, thank you from the bottom of my heart <3

#woso x reader #alexia putellas x reader #ingrid engen #esmee brugts #woso #woso community #fcb femeni #barcelona femeni #alexia putellas #barcelona femeni x reader #fcb femeni x reader

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queenshelby · 2 days ago

Text

The Peaky Role (Part Three)

Pairing: Cillian Murphy x Reader

Warning: Age Gap, Best Friend's Dad

Several weeks later...

For weeks, you had been rehearsing lines in front of the mirror, the images of your character swirling in your mind. Learning your lines wasn't difficult for you but the weight of the role pressed on your shoulders.

Your character was not like you. She was outgoing and bold, confident enough to challenge Thomas Shelby in ways you could only dream of off-screen. She was also cunning and sly, weaving her way through the grit and charm of the Peaky Blinders' world.

You, on the other hand, were shy and reserved in nature but, then again, so was Cillian, whom you had known for many years now as your father's friend and your best friend's father.

He was an introvert, just like you and, if he can pull off a role like Thomas Shelby, then so could you, even if the method took a little extra courage.

After unpacking your belongings in the small, modern aparthotel room in Liverpool, not far from set, the weight of anticipation settled in your chest. You glanced at the clock on the wall—time ticked closer to your induction and costume fitting.

You had a shower quickly and grabbed a bite to eat at the small café downstairs, the aroma of fresh coffee swirling around you. Each sip brought a mix of comfort and anxiety—fueling your resolve while your mind raced with thoughts of the approaching filming.

Eventually, you were picked up by a Margot, who was one of the set assistants. Only Cillian had his own assistant and Margot pretty much looked after everyone else in the cast.

Her energy buzzed in the cramped car as you made your way through the city, past factories and quiet streets that would soon be transformed into cinematic scenes.

“Are you ready for this?” Margot glanced at you through the rearview mirror, a playful smirk dancing on her lips.

“Ready as I'll ever be,” you replied, attempting to sound more confident than you felt.

Margot chuckled softly. “That’s the spirit! Just remember, the cameras love a little nervous energy. It makes everything more authentic.”

You nodded, though your stomach twisted into knots as a wave of apprehension washed over you. Stepping onto a set filled with crews and cameras always felt like jumping into the deep end without knowing how to swim.

Arriving at the studio, the place buzzed with life. Crew members hustled about, the chatter of directors and actors blending into a symphony of ceaseless energy. Y

"Lets get your costumes fitted first, then we’ll move onto the induction," Margot chirped, guiding you through the chaos.

As you walked past trailers and lights, you felt your heart race. Each step drew you closer to the heart of the production.

Inside the fitting room, racks of clothes hung like statues, waiting to take form on whoever wore them.

"Wow, these are quite revealing," you muttered, eyeing the delicate fabrics and elaborate designs of the costumes that would define your character.

But then again, the way your character dressed didn't suprise you. You were portraying a prostitute after all, and the wardrobe reflected that with its daring cuts and bold fabrics.

“Just wait until you see the whole look,” one of the dress makers said with a gleam in her eye. “You’re going to own it.”

With a hesitant smile, you stepped into the fitting area, surrounded by mirrors that reflected a multitude of yous, each one more nervous than the last.

“Let’s start with this,” the dressmaker offered, holding up a deep emerald green dress that seemed to shimmer under the bright lights.

“It’s stunning,” you breathed, imagining how it would embrace the curves of your body and the way it would flow as you moved.

“Let’s get you into it,” the dressmaker urged, practically bouncing on her toes in excitement.

As you changed, your hands shook slightly, both with nerves and anticipation. Sliding the fabric over your skin, you caught glimpses of yourself in the mirror—transformation flickered with every turn. The dress hugged your form in all the right ways , accentuating the contours of your waist and the length of your legs. You couldn’t help but smile, the thrill of seeing yourself as the character momentarily eclipsing your nerves.

“Absolutely breathtaking ,” the dressmaker exclaimed, stepping back to take in the full effect before pinning some needles into the fabric.

"Now, I will get this fixed up for your first scene while you get your hair and make-up done, Love," she said as she jotted down notes, her enthusiasm infectious.

You stepped out of the fitting room and into the adjacent space where stylists prepped the cast for filming. The scents of hairspray and makeup clung in the air like a veil, transforming the atmosphere into a creative whirlwind.

“Over here!” a stylist called out, waving you over. She had a warm smile and shoulder -length blond hair that bounced with her every movement.

"Name's Lucy," she introduced, pulling you into her orbit as she began examining your hair. “Let’s get ya ready, alright?"

You nodded and, much to your suprise, you hair was about to look a whole lot different than before. Lucy knelt beside you, her hands already beginning to assess the strands.

“You have gorgeous hair, but I think a darker shade will fit your character better,” she said, fingers weaving through your strands with the finesse of a painter choosing colors for a masterpiece.

“Are we thinking black or just a few shades darker?” you asked, trying to gauge the vision she had for you.

“Oh, we’ll go for a dark chocolate shade,” Lucy decided, her eyes sparkling with excitement. “It’ll deepen your features and give that sultry vibe your character needs.”

Once the dye settled in, you could already envision the striking contrast it would create against the deep green of your dress.

Lucy worked deftly, mixing hues and chatting effortlessly, drawing you into the whirlwind of her passion for her craft.

Once done, she started styling and pinning sections of your hair back into soft waves that cascaded delicately around your shoulders.

"The character needs to look approachable yet glamorous,” she instructed, her hands a flurry of activity and you simply nodded in agreement, not knowing what else to say.

Your make-up followed straight after, in a seamless transition, a rhythm now established as Lucy effortlessly transformed you into the embodiment of your character.

“Let’s emphasize those cheekbones,” she declared, brushing a warm blush across your skin with the precision of an artist applying the final touches to a canvas.

Finally, after what felt like hours of delicate adjustments and color choices, Lucy tilted your chin to face her, her eyes scrutinizing your look with a practiced gaze.

“Perfect. Just perfect,” she confirmed and you were stunned yourself.

“Wow, I hardly recognize myself,” you marveled as she handed you a mirror. Your heart raced at the reflection staring back at you—a woman, not a girl anymore.

The transformation felt surreal; the character you had been rehearsing now lived in front of you, daring and vibrant.

“Absolutely ready to take on the world,” Lucy said, grinning widely at her handiwork and, just as she began to tidy up the area, the doors swung open, and Cillian strode in, exuding the calm confidence that came with years on film sets.

"Holy moly,” Cillian exclaimed, his deep blue eyes widening as they landed on you.

You barely had time to react before he swept closer, inspecting the transformation with a mixture of admiration and curiosity.

"You look... different," he said, his brows lifting with genuine surprise.

You laughed, trying to shake off the nerves. “I think it helps when a small army of stylists attack you like this,” you joked, glancing over at Lucy, who was putting away her tools with a satisfied grin.

Cillian chuckled, before taking a seat next to you, knowing that it was his turn next.

"Well, the dark hair suits you, I think," he said, his voice steady but warm, as he leaned back in the chair.

“Thanks,” you replied shyly, brushing your hair behind your ear, suddenly conscious of every detail. The weight of his gaze made it hard to focus, every compliment feeling heavier today.

"Your hair suits you too," you murmured, glancing at the subtle gray streaks that framed his face, each one a testament to the man he had become over the years.

"You mean the grey?" he laughed, thinking you were mocking him.

“Yeah, it suits you,” you replied, gathering your courage. “You look distinguished. Thomas Shelby has never looked better.”

"Well the haircut is better this year. So that's probably it," he grinned, running a hand through his hair, settling into the banter. “No offence, Lucy," he added, glancing at the stylist, who laughed softly, waving it off.

"None taken. I just follow instructions," Lucy replied with a wink, stepping back to allow Cillian room to settle into the chair as the stylist approached him with an array of products.

"I see you later, on set," you said, offering him a wave as you rose to gather your things.

"Yes, see you shortly," Cillian replied, his eyes lingering on you for a moment longer, the warmth in his gaze wrapping around you like a familiar blanket.

As you stepped out into the bustling atmosphere of the studio, a sense of purpose ignited within you.

You had your induction now before reqturning to the dressmaker to get fitted out once more, in readiness for your first scene with Cillian in less than half an hour.

Going over your lines one more time, you settled into a quiet corner of the studio. The set buzzed with anticipation, and you could hear snippets of conversation as crew members moved about, adjusting lights and cameras. You pulled out your script, the pages slightly worn from your repeated reading. The words became a lifeline, grounding you in the chaos swirling around.

Then, your call came from the assistant director, cutting through the ambient noise like a siren.

You made your way on to the scene, where you would be alone with Cillian, except for the director and camera team of course.

The scene you had to play out was a flirtatious one set in a smoky but empty bar in London, the air thick with intrigue and whispered secrets.

Once on set, the atmosphere wrapped around you like a heavy cloak. The dim lighting contrasted sharply with the bright overhead lights that illuminated the set, casting long shadows that danced along the bar.

Cillian walked in, talking to the director as they both approached you. By this time, you were standing around like a lost puppy, simply waiting for instructions.

Cillian turned toward you, gently smiling. "Are you alright?" he asked with a knowing glance, his deep blue eyes searching yours.

“I think so,” you replied, smoothing down the fabric of your dress, suddenly conscious of the way it hugged your form. “Just a little nervous,” you admitted, feeling the warmth creep into your cheeks.

Cillian gave you a reassuring nod, a subtle camaraderie built through years of knowing each other exploding into a moment of understanding. “Everyone gets nervous. Even I do," he said, his tone steady and genuine. The director joined in, signaling for both of you to get into position.

“Alright, this is a new scene, and I want to capture the tension between you two,” the director explained, gesturing with his hands to illustrate his vision. “Cillian will approach you here at the bar and start a conversation," he explained. "Now, remember to maintain an electric connection. The minute you lock eyes, it’s going to be sizzling. Let it build, okay?”

You nodded, absorbing the direction, excitement intertwining with anxiety.

As the director stepped back, the crew shifted the lights, casting a warm glow over the set that would soon encapsulate your characters.

“Ready and action," the director’s voice echoed through the space, shattering the tension as Cillian slid effortlessly into character.

He strolled toward you with a swagger, the confidence of Thomas Shelby sewn into every movement and the energy of the scene pulsed through the air like a live wire.

“Mind if I join you?” he asked, leaning against the bar, an easy smile playing on his lips as his eyes locked onto yours.

“Depends,” you replied with a teasing lilt, mirroring his casual stance, running a fingertip along the edge of your glass.

“On what?” Cillian’s voice dropped into a low, velvety tone, his gaze steady.

“On what kind of trouble you’re bringing with you,” you replied, raising an eyebrow and daring him to match your playfulness. Cillian smirked, leaning in slightly closer, the air around you charged with the tension of unspoken possibilities.

“Only the kind that gets people talking,” he purred, a glint of mischief dancing in his eyes as he leaned closer, drawing you into the magnetic pull of his character. "My name is Thomas Shelby and you would have heard of me taking over your mistresses' establishments," he explained with a confident tilt to his head, his voice smooth as the whiskey he would undoubtedly claim later.

“I’ve heard a few rumors,” you replied, tilting your head knowingly as well, allowing a playful smirk to escape as you feigned nonchalance, after which you adapted easily and the conversation flew almost effortlessly between your characters.

Unfortunatly, when the scene became more heated, an unexpected wave of nerves washed over you. The flirty banter felt electrifying, but as Cillian leaned closer, nearing the end of the scene, the reality of the situation sunk in.

He reached up and caressed your cheek, a gesture meant to convey both intimacy and intrigue. His fingertips sparked warmth against your skin, sending your heart racing and, almost instantly, you forgot your next line.

A cold tide of panic washed over you, the words slipping from your mind as you stared up into his piercing blue eyes. The world blurred around you, leaving only the weight of his hand on your cheek and the warmth emanating from him. You could feel the rest of the crew watching, the camera zooming in, the tension thickening in the air as silence enveloped the set.

“Cut!” the director’s voice sliced through the moment, pulling you back to reality. You blinked, shaking off the dizziness that had clouded your thoughts.

"I am so sorry," you stammered, your cheeks flushing with embarrassment.

Cillian stepped back, a knowing smile on his lips. “It’s alright. It happens to the best of us," he said, his tone light-hearted, though his eyes held a glimmer of understanding.

“Let’s take that again,” the director advised, a kind smile on his face as he stepped forward. “Remember, you’re confident. It ’s all about the connection. Let it flow naturally.”

You took a deep breath, nodding as you pushed your nerves aside.

Cillian’s gaze softened, comforting yet piercing at the same time as you took a deep breath, brushing the warmth of the moment aside.

“Ready when you are,” he said, a subtle challenge lacing his tone as he squared his shoulders, slipping back into character with an ease that set your own nerves at ease. The familiarity of him grounded you, and you inhaled deeply.

The director signaled for everyone to reset. As the crew shuffled around you, adjusting equipment and softly murmuring between themselves, Cillian stood by, a steady presence that made your heart race for all the right reasons.

“Just remember, you’ve got this,” he whispered, his voice low enough for only you to hear, the warmth in his tone a soft balm against your lingering nerves.

“Thanks, I needed that,” you replied, your smile finding its way to the surface, brightening your expression as you steadied yourself for another go at the scene.

The atmosphere shifted as the director set the stage again. Lights adjusted, cameras refocused, and the crew settled into a silent rhythm, anticipation hanging in the air like the haze of smoke from the imaginary bar you inhabited.

“Action!” the director called out, his voice echoing through the dimly lit set, snapping everyone into a focused intensity.

Cillian moved towards you with deliberate ease, the air around the two of you thickening with anticipation as you picked up on the last ten seconds of the scene as instructed.

This time, you remembered your line as Cillian engaged with you, leaning slightly closer than before while, again, caressing your cheek.

Just as directed, his thumb then moved over your your lips with a gentle touch, igniting something electric between you.

Your heart raced as his thumb brushed against your lips, the warmth spreading through the air like wildfire.

You reached for his hand that was caressing you holding it in place before opening your mouth, just as directed.

“Your kind of trouble sounds about right,” you teased, feigning confidence that masked the flutter in your chest.

Cillian’s eyes darkened, the playful banter morphing into something deeper, which is when your tongue slipped out, brushing against his thumb almost instinctively.

"Hmm," Cillian murmured, his voice dropping an octave, a mix of surprise and intrigue flickering in his gaze as he processed the unexpected intimacy of your gesture.

Your actions were scripted, and yet, he did not expect the spark that flared between you, igniting a tension that shifted the dynamic of the scene entirely.

You too registered the moment caught between the lines, the air charged with emotions that had little to do with acting.

“Cut!” The director’s voice rang out, sharp and firm, breaking the spell that wove around you both. The silence that followed felt heavier than before, the weight of the moment lingering like smoke after a fire as the crew began to shuffle about, exchanging glances as the tension dissipated into the air.

You blinked, momentarily dazed, as Cillian stepped back, processing the unexpected intensity of the moment.

The director hurried over, a smile spreading across his face. “That was great! Just the right amount of tension. I felt the connection," he said and, much to his own disapproval, Cillian felt it too. He felt a connection that surpassed simple acting.

“Thanks, I think we were both just in the moment,” you said, somewhat shyly glancing at Cillian, trying to measure the charge that still lingered between you, searching his eyes for any hint of what he felt.

Cillian shifted, a thoughtful expression crossing his features as he ran a hand through his hair, the gray strands glimmering under the studio lights.

“Yes," he then simply agreed , his voice steady, yet a flicker of something deeper danced behind his eyes.

Tags:

@sunbeamseas @saint-ackerman @oatmealisweird @naxxsstuff @amanda08319 @r-m-cidnah @elysiannook @cillshot @infireddabdab @tastycakee @harrysbestiee @lilybabe22 @adalynlowell @henrywintersdearestgirl @ietss @thatgirlthatreadswattpad @ryiamarie @axionn

@nela-cutie @futurecorps3 @delishen @nosebleeds-247 @thirteenis-myluckynumber @gills-lounge @hjmalmed @lost-fantasy @tiredkitten @sidechrisporn @smallsoulunknown @charqing-qing @hopefulinlove @aporiasposts @shycrybaby @me-and-your-husband @hjmalmed @lacontroller1991 @galxydefender @aporiasposts

@galxydefender @hunnibearrr @saint-ackerman @lunyyx @gentlemonsterjennie1 @ihavealotoffandomssorry @nadloves @lost-fantasy @nolucesn@mcavoy-girl @hjmalmed @bloodybagels @obeyme4life @richiesgroupie @blushykiss @tatumrileyslover @teawithsatanx @orijanko @rhaenyra4ever @xcinnamonmalfoyx @budugu @nadloves @kmc1989 @bloodybagels @obeyme4life @richiesgroupie @smailaway @sophiaaguirred @blondie-22 @hagarsays @leighla3 @meadows5 @randomcreator-09

#cillian murphy #cillian murphy x you #tommy shelby #peaky blinders #tommy shelby smut #cillian murphy imagine #cillian murphy x reader #cillian murphy smut #cillian murphy x y/n #tommy shelby x reader #cillian murphy fanfic #cillian murphy fanfiction #cillian murphy fic

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pygmi-cygni · 3 days ago

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Oscar characters as parents

....I dunno guys.

Anselm - I honestly don't think he'd be a very good parent. He's not really the kind of father figure a child needs. He'd be a kickass grandpa though. Not really sure how that works but he definitely has cool uncle/grandpa/godfather vibes. Something about direct parenthood is just not it though.

Blue - don't fwm about this guy, he is not a dad. for your safety do not get pregnant. please.

Cecil - deadbeat but sweet. no money, no idea how to take care of a kid, but very sweet and gentle and kind. Also gives off cool uncle vibes. Likes picking baby clothes.

Marc - best dad ever, hands down. Girl dad for sure. Has all the things planned out: education, bank account, healthcare, all the Big Important Things. Loves cuddle time, will wake up an hour early so he can hold little one for a while in the morning. Puts a big emphasis on outside time, like walks and going to the park. Cries for hours if baby says his name first.*

Steven - reads hella bedtime stories. very nervous about everything else but when he learns that reading is enriching, man is on it. Any kind of story, encyclopedias or just fairytales. Will do all the funny voices and impressions. Bedtime is Steven's 'thing'

Jake - refuses to drive with baby in the car. Does not even unlock the door. He will have a panic attack about it if you even bring it up. Sits in the back and has a death grip on the carrier while you drive or you take an Uber. Has the best baby voice, also. Sings baby to sleep during naptime (it would be bedtime but Steven called dibs) and also loves cuddles.

*side note - marc is dad, steven is dada, jake is papa. don't wanna hear a fuckin word about it.

Nathan - ehhhh. Boy dad. sorry but like c'mon. I have a hard time envisioning him with a child but maybe. Hard to say. I do think he'd walk around his lab wearing a bjorn and mumbling about whatever he was working on. Likes to watch you with the baby, it calms him down. Gets cuteness aggression and doesn't know how to handle it.

Santiago - Girl dad. Pretty similar to Marc but loves taking the baby everywhere. Talks about her to everybody. A thousand pictures in his wallet. Brought her to boys night once and was so excited until you flipped out because Fish got drunk so that never happened again. Cries on her first day of school.

John - no. like be for real with me right now.

Poe - also for some reason I have a hard time picturing him with children. Maybe not as a dad, but as like a teacher. I think he'd be a really good teacher, especially for 5-8 year olds. Definitely built a kid-sized plywood x-wing for kids in the neighborhood to play on. Takes halloween very seriously and buys a fuckton of candy, dresses up, does the house, the whole nine yards.

tags:

@krakenkitty @ominoose @bulletgoth @my-secret-shame-but-fanfiction @justsomeonecalledemma

@iolaussharpe-24 @rosegnome @twwcs @heeheehoohoofictimr @steven-grants-world

@ael-xander @to-be-a-sunshine @weasleyswizarding-wheezes @silvernight-m @lonelyisamyw-0love @unear7hly

#fluff #writing #headcanons #x reader #oscar isaac characters #poe dameron #santiago pope garcia #nathan bateman #moon boys #parenthood

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rachelamberish · 2 days ago

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Comprehensive Veilguard Review (FULL SPOILERS)

What They Got Right:

-The environments. My God, seeing some of these locations that we’ve only read about for a decade had me getting legitimately choked up just looking at them. I cried entering the Grand Necropolis. I cried at Weisshaupt. I cried at Kal Sharok. The Ossuary. The Crossroads 2 Electric Boogaloo. Just all absolutely stunning, and so lovingly crafted.

-The art direction, on top of that. They kind of go hand in hand, but genuinely, it’s great. I think the art director deserves a raise for the candlehops alone.

-The music. I love it. I know it’s not what it has been, but I think it’s fucking great. The Blight theme is far and away the best, but so many of the other tracks really fully commit to the fantasy-futurism aesthetic that has been crafted by the art direction and I think it’s so fucking cool that the music has evolved as we travel to new locations and the world of Thedas really opens up.

-Companions. I’ve spoken a little about this already. But yes, the companions are incredible. The pacing of getting to know each of them is so well executed. (It feels unfortunate that the same cannot be said about the story as a whole, really). They are each truly so memorable and I think BioWare knocking it out of the park with its companions is nothing new.

-Vocal Performances. Gareth David Lloyd should be lauded for his work as Solas. You can hear how that performance has evolved and matured over the years like a fine wine. His vicelike grasp on the nuance of that character transcends even the game’s often questionable writing. Truly incredible stuff. I also have to mention Jee Young Han for Bellara, and Bryony Corrigan and Alex Jordan for two versions of Rook. The rest of the cast is fantastic as well, those four are just so incredibly standout to me.

-This feels very specific but The Siege of Weisshaupt. That quest. Is. *chefs kiss emoji*. It’s giving game of thrones season 8 episode 4 the long night where i cant see anything but also i have existential dread!!!! Love that

-Codex entries are as well written as they ever have been, so no dip in quality of the writing there. Particularly a huge fan of the passive aggressive emails sent between Solas and the Evanuris like they were all shitty coworkers. Elgar’nan screaming “i’m the ELDEST BOY!!!” at the top of his lungs à la Kendall Roy while he and solas bicker about who was conceived of by the Fade first. Very good stuff

-Ghilan’nain is an eldritch horror lesbian witch and that is so so cool. Thank you bioware

-Maevaris Tilani

-Combat and performance. Because neither of these are story stuff, I’ll throw these together. The game performs like a fucking dream and is incredibly optimized. The combat feels amazing and I genuinely look forward to combat encounters rather than dreading them. No notes.

….The Rest, in No Particular Order:

- Morrigan forgiving her mother and the game erasing Flemeth’s nastiness was truly vomit-inducing so thanks for that one bioware

- Is Mythal good or bad bioware please answer the question and you CAN’T look at your notes

- They do get Solas mostly spot-on but Mythal is so inconceivably bad and it’s hard to divorce the two. Ironic, considering that they should be the most divorced couple that ever lived

-"Flemeth's piece of Mythal was the good version actually and was completely uncorrupted" bitch HOW?!!??!??!!?! FUCKING HOW?!?!? Literally A GAME AGO she screams at Morrigan and Lavellan about "a reckoning that will shake the heavens" promising vengeance for her betrayal because she's done nothing but stew ALONE in her anger for 2,000 years, ALSO piling on the rage and betrayals of Flemeth and (I think it's safe to presume at this point) Andraste and EVERY OTHER host she's had. If we have learned ANYTHING about spirits and "abominations" through four games it is that the spirit becomes corrupted "against its original purpose" when fused with the negative emotions of its host. What was the point of Anders, if not to foreshadow what Flemeth truly was? A spirit of justice corrupted against her purpose by living inside righteously angry women for millennia? If anything the Dagger-version of Mythal would be the uncorrupted one. Sure, she'd be lonely and pissed too but that would be the truest version to who Mythal ACTUALLY was from before. A mixed bag of grief and anger and hurt and pride. But the rage inside Flemeth's Mythal would be wild and unfettered. She would be almost unrecognizable.

-I'm moving on from Mythal now because ranting any more about her in this game is actually going to give me an aneurysm.

- Yeah this game suffers from lack of roleplay and choice carryover. It’s impossible to avoid. It was okay to suspend roleplay in a game like, say, Dragon Age 2, because Hawke as the game wrote her was such a strong personality and memorable protagonist. Rook is…. not that. Which is okay for a blank slate protagonist, but they’re also not that either. And i think they didnt commit, fully, to the idea of less roleplay. Because they *tried* to give you origin stories, but they don’t end up feeling like they truly inform the character in the way that they do in Origins, or even in Inquisition. Say what you will about Inquisition’s roleplay options, but Lavellan being Dalish DEFINES her character.

- And what do you know. Yeah. It was bad that they only let us carry over three choices. Who could have seen that one coming. It’s almost like everyone ever was like “wow. That sucks. Please reconsider.” And then they didn’t.

- And it also gets extra confusing when you realize that the three choices they said were going to matter a LOT literally don’t. At all. So that was a lie. I guess. Even Solas romancers who were being PANDERED to apparently get…like two mentions of something that feels like it should be so pervasive throughout the whole story. And one ending.

- Solavellan writing failure gets its own bullet point actually. There was so much ample opportunity for Lavellan’s presence in this story to be amplified. For the Lighthouse to contain more traces of her. In codex entries, in murals. I get that Solas probably wouldn’t talk about her to Rook much. But the fact of his yearning is downplayed when it should be overplayed. He yearns for this woman who made him think he was worth something for the first time since he took a physical body, while clouded by regret for his feelings for a long-dead woman who made him hate himself. That’s the saddest fucking story ever. Why does this game not lean into it more? I don’t know. You don’t know. None of us know.

- BioWare kind of forgot that fifty percent of the Tevinter population is slaves. What do the shadow dragons even do? There are apparently no slaves left to free!!

- BioWare kind of forgot that the Crows are very cool and yes very Italian!! 🤌🤌🤌 but also buy child slaves and turn them into soldiers by systematically weeding empathy out of them. So where was any of that.(*where is Zevran or someone who fills the role of that character. He is so desperately needed to portray the Crows with any nuance.*)

- The depiction of the Qunari/kossith, outside of Taash’s storyline (which I actually think was a very thoughtful examination of the intersection of gender and Qunari ideology), is actually the craziest most stereotypical one-note racist bullshit i’ve ever seen and i am shocked any writer allowed that to be the final product.

- You know what yes i also noticed that you couldn’t ever be mean in this game and also Rook smiles so much. She smiles when saying things she should not smile about. Idk why but that bothers me. And why are her hands always on her hips? What is she hiding

- The exposition-heavy dialogue is terrible at the start, gets way better around the first act break, then turns dangerously close back around to Avengers-style “Well, that just happened!” and it’s a mixed bag that I don’t know what to do with. I can’t blame bioware for the exposition, I’m sure that’s an EA directive of “pander to the people that want to come into the fourth installment of a series knowing nothing and not be completely lost”. But the rest…..let’s just say I can feel how many people had their hands in writing this. And I can feel it because the quality swings back and forth so wildly it gives me whiplash.

- Because of no choice carryover cameos feel like cardboard cutouts of characters. Dorian worked for me because he was doing things he would be doing anyway and it is passively mentioned that he and the Inquisitor are in close contact. Isabela is skinny like a twig now i guess (??? Hate that) and i’m happy for her whole lords of fortune thing but she is made lesser by being completely divorced from Hawke. Same for Varric, although at least he has more to do. Morrigan…………………………………………………………………anyway moving on.

- The Dalish.

- BioWare kind of forgot that Solas doesn’t hate blood magic. Doesn’t use it personally. But doesn’t hate it. Also what he does to gain a connection to Rook is LITERALLY blood magic. I don’t fucking know WHY he/the game insists that it’s not. I’m beside myself with that one.

- BioWare kind of forgot about the brewing elven uprising led by Solas that they set up at the end of Trespasser and instead now he’s a lone actor and everyone hates him. Like no. No actually some elves would have found what he was doing very cool and a great alternative to the terrible hand the world has dealt them. Perhaps all those elven Tevinter slaves you forgot to put in the game.

- BioWare kind of forgot about Briala in their rush to say “but nothing in southern thedas matters!!!”

- Cole should be in this game and the fact that he is not is actually fucking baffling.

- VERY BIG SPOILER Varric dying is fine actually and the one thing i’m literally perfectly okay with so idk why i put it down here other than it feels wrong putting this spoiler at the top lmao. But yeah that’s fine. We knew it was coming and Peepaw needed rest anyway. Good reveal, no issue there.

- Lucanis’ bugged romance ruined my life

- I made a separate post about this but Veilguard has single handedly eradicated mystery in the Dragon Age series without creating any new mystery and it’s what I’m legitimately the most sad about.

All in all, a mixed bag. I enjoyed my time with it, but it left me sad at times and not in the good way. The idea I have of Dragon Age in my head will always be more true to Dragon Age to me than this was, and I can live with that, I was just hoping for better on a lot of writing fronts.

#dragon age #datv spoilers #dragon age: the veilguard #veilguard spoilers #datv

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wings-of-fire-confessions · 2 days ago

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Okay, imma be real? I think this fandom gets way too upset over characterization differences between books (this'll be a long one just let me explain).

I see a lot of posts in the WOF fandom about how certain characters got ruined in the next books or how their characterizations were completely screwed over. A lot of posts also are like, "Oh, Tui messed up X character in this book so badly!" Or "All their personality has changed in this book, what happened to my favorite character?" and so on like that.

This kind of thing, ESPECIALLY after rereading the series recently, then coming back to the fandom, pisses me off to NO END for a couple of reasons.

1. Tui wasn't "ruining" your favorite characters personality in the next book, because the focus of the next book wasn't the character in question. The spotlight is on another character entirely, and trying to micromanage THAT many personalities to their truest form is INCREDIBLY difficult.

2. Plotting out character personalities is a GRUELING process, coming from someone who does a lot of writing. ESPECIALLY if it's original characters, because then you can't just pull from fandom or canon, you gotta do that shit yourself. And over the course of the canon, their personality is gonna change!

This brings me to my last point and probably the biggest reason:

3. EVERY BOOK IS FROM A DIFFERENT PERSPECTIVE.

This has been a STAPLE of the Wings of Fire books from the VERY BEGINNING. With every new book, we as readers are jumping from one dragon's mental space to the next, learning about their traits and quirks and how they perceive the world around them, every single time we pick up the next book in the series. It's what helps give us those deeper insights into the characters that yall get so angry about when they aren't immediately represented in the next book, when that dragon is no longer our spotlight.

Also, when we are learning about the other dragons before we jump to their perspectives, the character that we are reading about is already making assumptions and assigning traits that they think correlate with the character in question! We are seeing the world through their eyes and thoughts, so when we move to another perspective, that dragon is doing the exact same thing, even though now we know more about one of the other characters!

And then the fandom gets hissy when the first character gets relegated into the background and assigned some base personality traits, even though that's exactly what happened before.

Personally, I think the ones who suffer from this the MOST are Clay in Arc 1 and Moon in Arc 2. Clay, according to fans, gets boiled down to nothing but his love for food, even though we see in his, Sunny's, and Peril's perspectives that he's more than that. His behaviors also directly correlate to why he gets that kind of background trait (although that's a whole other rant), and every time I see someone saying that Clay got screwed over by characterization, I take psychic damage.

And Moon. God, yall, Moon gets it THE WORST FROM YOU. I've seen SO MANY POSTS about how she got boiled down to nothing but a love triangle piece in the later arcs, which is only partly true, but we also see from ALL OF THOSE PERSPECTIVES (Qibli and Winter specifically) that the traits they're assigning her are both different aspects of how her character worked in the first book and what two lovestruck, moons-blinded dumbasses are seeing and choosing to view her as.

Her book even SHOWS how much of a NIGHTMARE it would be to have every character be deep and know their inner thoughts at all times. Moon herself gets mentally and physically overwhelmed near CONSTANTLY during the majority of her book, and I'm not even technically factoring in Darkstalkers' influence.

All of that to say, Wings of Fire fandom, is to stop losing your SHIT over how your characters might seem flat or not like they were in their books. All of these perspectives are different, and if you motherfuckers actually took some time to reread the books while actively LOOKING for those hints of your silly guys being the same silly guys, just from another dragon's POV, then maybe yall wouldn't be so pissed off about characterization in the books nearly HALF as often.

I don't even care how much discourse this is gonna spark I just felt the incredible urge to tell yall to use those skills you learned in English class and chill the FUCK OUT on this topic.

Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk. Now go use your eyes :>

#wof confessions #wings of fire confessions #wof #wings of fire

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justanothersanjilover · 1 day ago

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So I got this idea about a Zosan Soulmate AU and just had to write a little bit about it. I don't know how fast I can update this, but its a start and I’m going to keep writing it 😊

My Name on your tongue

Part 1

Paring: Zosan (maybe Sanzo, too)

Soulmate AU

Triggers: Child abuse, swear words, death

Six years old

“In our world, you get something very special when you turn 18. You get to summon a familiar - an animal, mythical or natural - that will be your companion throughout your whole life. The animal you summon is based on what you need in life and what fits you. No one knows who’s assigning the animal to you, but it always fits.

Now, if you are very passionate and loving toward your familiar and it returns that feeling, there is a chance that it will turn into a human and become your soulmate. But this only happens when there exists such a strong bond that both of you would endure the greatest pain imaginable for the other. The bond has to be so strong that you’d die for each other.

Most people don't put in the effort because why go to that length for an animal? Also, there is no greater need to be with your soulmate unless your familiar turns into it. You can perfectly live without ever getting your soulmate.”

“Is father your soulmate?” Sanji wanted to know, looking up at his mum.

Sora shook her head, her expression somewhat painful, but her son didn't pick up on that fact.

“But…you don't have a familiar around.”

“I know,” Sora swallowed drily. “She…she died. She wanted to protect me and got badly injured. I couldn't help her.”

Sanji looked shocked at her.

“I’m sorry…”

He snuggled against his mother to comfort her. She smiled sadly and brushed a hand through his blond hair.

“When you get your familiar, make sure to protect them. It’s a really bad feeling to lose them forever.”

“I promise. And I will love them so much! I can't wait to meet them!”

Sanji was so different from his siblings, and Sora was thankful for that, but she knew that he would have it worse than them. While pregnant with him and his three brothers, her husband genetically modified them - against Sora’s will. He made them stronger, more durable - as he called it - faster and better in anything. He got rid of their emotions and made sure they would become his best soldiers. In doing this, he also hoped to influence the familiar they’d get. He wanted them to have big, brutal animals - monsters to make their enemies shake in fear. Sora had watched him silently get rid of the emotions and feelings of their oldest child, their daughter Rejiu. He somehow managed to manipulate her into an obedient, emotionless kid, strong and fast, and an expert in poisons despite her young age. She was his first perfect soldier.

But Sora wasn't standing by as he tried to corrupt her other children! So, after learning about Judges doing, Sora took a poison to destroy the modifications. Unfortunately, it only worked on Sanji. On the one hand, she was happy for him; on the other, she was sad and devastated. Sanji would never have any worth for his father; he’d always be the failure, and she was the reason why.

Although Sanji always smiled when he came to visit, she saw the bruises and cuts. She saw the pain behind his young eyes. She knew what his siblings and father were doing to him, and she could do nothing to stop them. So she always tried to give him the best times when he came to visit her. Unfortunately, the poison she took destroyed her body and made her bedbound.

Hugging Sanji tightly, she did her best not to start to cry. She knew that her days were counted…and it would be the end of the night when she would leave Sanji behind to deal with everything all by himself. The only ray of light was that at least on his eighteenth birthday, he would get a familiar that surely would protect him. That was why she told him all about familiars! She wanted him to know as much as possible, as much as humanity found out about them. Sanji sucked everything up like a sponge!

The only thing she wasn't allowed to tell him was how to summon his familiar. Because if a familiar was summoned before the eighteenth birthday, there were terrible side effects. Sometimes, the familiar wasn't fully developed….like the child. Other times, the child couldn't hold the image of the familiar (which was important), and it would turn out deformed. And then there were times when the familiar was an adult and got really protective and possessive of the child - sometimes so much it had to be put down because no one could touch the child without getting attacked, even when the kid was hurt, starving or anything else putting its life in danger. So she wouldn't tell Sanji - even if a protective familiar wouldn't be the worst…she wanted them to have a chance at getting real friends, and Sora hoped Sanji would be allowed to find his soulmate. She hoped he could experience this purest kind of love in the world.

“You need to go,” Sora mumbled into Sanji’s hair. “It’s past visiting time.”

“I don't want to…”

“I know, love. I know. But your father will get mad if you stay, and you know that.”

Sanji nodded, suppressing sobs, as he pulled away from his mother. He lifted his head and smiled at her.

“I’ll come again tomorrow.”

“Yeah, do that. I can't wait to see you again, my little angel.”

Sora hugged him tight and placed a kiss on top of his head. Why should she tell him that she wouldn't be there in the morning? It would only upset him and make him sad and guilty. She felt her spirits leave her body slowly but surely. At the end of the night, she’d be dead, and Sanji would be alone. Before she let him go, she brushed a hand through his hair and made him look up into her eyes.

“Remember that I will always love you, my little sunshine. Regardless of what will happen in your future. I’ll love you every day of your life and after it.”

Sanji looked a bit confused, but as soon as Sora smiled, he smiled back, placed a quick, wet kiss on her cheek and ran out - so his father wouldn't punish him.

“Useless!”

“I’m trying…” Sanji sobbed, holding the side of his face - it pulsed with pain, and he was sure his lip was bleeding.

“That's the point!” His father yelled. “You are trying! You shouldn't have to try! You should be able just to do it!”

“But I…” another blow, and Sanji flew backward against a pillar of the training room - he groaned in pain when he hit the stone with full force.

“You are weak! A false experiment! A fucking failure! I should just get rid of you!”

Judge was towering over his son like death himself. And Sanji couldn't do anything different than feel fear and hurt and disgust at his own body. The poison from his father's lips seeped into his mind and planted a dangerous seed. He cried when Judge grabbed him by the collar of his shirt and held him up to his face.

“And that's why you don't have a familiar. You will never get one! Never! I took that ability from you because it would be as weak as you are, and I don't have use for two failures in my kingdom!”

Sanji sobbed uncontrollably. Ever since he asked his father about his own familiar - which was a big, dragon-like creature always lurking behind his throne - he left no chance unused to point out that Sanji would never have one. Sanji didn't understand why he would rip this opportunity from him, why he was such a mistake in his father's eyes. Just because he wasn't as strong as his siblings? Because his skin started to bleed when cut or punched hard enough? Because he cried when he got hurt?

“Get out of my sight before I start losing my temper,” Judge growled and tossed him aside like a back of garbage.

Sanji scrambled to his feet and ran from the training room, hoping his brothers wouldn't wait outside like they did most of the time. His hopes crashed when he closed the door, and laughter sounded behind him.

“Look at that,” Yonji said.

“The weakling is back out,” Ichiji grinned.

“Seems like he still can't handle a punch,” Niji snickered.

His brothers gathered around him, laughing and pointing at him. Sanji felt tears in his eyes but tried to swallow them. He hated to cry in front of his brothers, just as much as he hated to do so in front of his father. His eyes searched for pink hair, and surely, he found his sister, standing in the background but grinning as evil as the rest of them.

“Leave me alone,” he sobbed - knowing very well it would turn in the opposite of what he wanted…but he couldn’t stop himself from saying it.

“What?”

“We couldn’t hear you over all your whining.”

“I think he said we should show him how to fight.”

And a blink of an eye later, he crashed against the wall and slid down to the floor. Lying there, he curled up into a ball to at least try and shield his stomach and face from the kicks and blows that rained down on him like a hailstorm.

In the end, he was beaten bloody, and they left him where he was lying. His eyes stared into nothingness while his tears mixed with the blood and formed little puddles on the floor.

Hours later, he was able to drag himself to his bedroom. Curling up in his bed, Sanji felt tears in his eyes again.

“Why?” He cried into his pillow. “Why am I not like them? Why do I have to be this way?”

He knew why, his mother had told him, but still…There were moments when he hated his emotions, and he would give them up just to see the same smile on his father's face, pointed at him like he was giving his siblings.

He was worthless, and that's also why he would never have a familiar, which made him cry even more. Since his mother died two months ago, he always comforted himself with the knowledge that he’d get a chance to meet his soulmate. But because he was weak, because of his emotions, Judge took this ability, this gift from him. The first time he mentioned it to Sanji, his whole world was shattered. He didn't even feel the hits his father was dealing. He was numb…almost lifeless. The only thing he was looking forward to - the only thing that made his little heart and mind strong enough to survive and not give up - was the reassuring thought of meeting his familiar.

After his breakdown, he thought maybe, if he got better, if he could prove to his father that he was worth keeping around…maybe he would give him the ability to get his familiar back.

“I have to…get stronger…” Sanji sobbed while drifting to sleep.

All he wanted was to be loved and be part of this family…

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taddymason · 5 hours ago

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if you ever write that rant about the administration and post it PLEEEASE tag me in it i'd love to read your thoughts about whatever they have going on over there

TRUST ME, I'VE BEEN WANTING TO MAKE A POST TALKING ABOUT HOW THE ADMINISTRATION IS THE WORST PLACE JAY COULD HAVE WOKE UP IN AFTER THE MERGE!! yes, it's even worse than imperium

SO- I feel like we focus a lot on the comedic aspect of agents being incompetent, but for me it falls back on negligence, which is the same reason why Jay is the way he is as a manager. It's not that Jay doesn't have the skills to be a good manager, far from it, he could be doing a really good job, if he had his memories I'm pretty sure he'd be doing the same thing he did in prime empire and would oppose that whole shitty system.

But no. Like I said, it's not incompetence, it's that jay just doesn't care. His actions have no consequences that he can see, and I'm sure that every other department head in that place is equally or even more negligent and just doesn't care when things go wrong. It's a small world where everyone is seen as a tool to get the job done day in and day out, with no purpose other than that.

I also like how it all ties back into the fact that the Administration is in the Realm of Madness of all places. Doc said in a tweet that they were inspired by The Trial, and it shows because it also gives a good idea of how absurd and distressing this whole system must have been for Jay when he woke up. It’s made to be a pointless maze. And it’s the worst kingdom for someone like him to wake up in, because the worst thing that could happen to him after, yk, losing all trace of his identity is starting over in a place where no one would care about that. Which also interestingly ties into Jay's alienation and inability to develop his own identity within this society. And as a consequence he obviously ends up becoming a shitty person in the process, because if he cares to go back and think about everything he's lost, he'd probably go crazy because everyone acts there like it doesn't matter.

I know we have like uh- two scenes from agent walker and this rant is actually mostly inspired by reading The Trial, but god, I wish we got more of jay living in the administration because it's a place that contradicts everything he's learned throughout the show, that contradicts what unlocked his true potential and I'm just saying it would be so interesting to see how he's had to develop this selfless shit personality to survive there. And I really would have loved to see how he goes from suddenly rejecting all the stability and security of the administration to escape, but whatever

Ye I'm not normal about the administration and agent walker, in case the 60k fic of jay living there didn't make that obvious

#ohoho just thinking about all the fucked up things Jay could have or could not have done in the Administration in the name of indifference #doing something so bad not out of malice but simply because you are ordered to.#Also interesting is the fact that Jay actually GOES on field missions as shown in S2P1.#so. he has definitely done worse things than neglecting those who are sent through the portals #(he's definitely killed someone as a field agent. Even before the whole wolf jay thing sorry guys)#Ninjago Jay #Jay Walker #Ninjago dragons rising #Jay Ninjago #Ninjago

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itsclydebitches · 22 hours ago

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RWBY Recaps: Vol3E1 "Round One"

Hello, everyone, and welcome to a new collection of RWBY Recaps!!

This is a unique project in that instead of writing purely for my own entertainment, these recaps are part of the Fandom Trumps Hate auction (you can check them out here if you're interested in learning more). Specifically, these recaps are a gift for the lovely Kae who requested some meta on the earlier Volumes, or work that focused on Ozpin and/or Ironwood. I figured that Volume Three would touch on all those requests and, frankly, it's an era of RWBY that I was already interested in covering. Volume 3 was a turning point for RWBY's tone and overall mythology and I'm eager to see what I think of it in 2024, after six additional seasons and a rather chaotic overhaul.

(If anyone is reading this from the future, one of the reasons why it took me so damn long to get the first recap out is because finding official streams of RWBY has become a fool's errand as it changes ownership. Fun!)

Anyway, the game plan is simple: cover all of Volume Three at an undetermined, though hopefully steady-ish pace from here on out. Technically, the deadline for our FTH fandowrks is at the end of 2024, however, I absolutely plan to continue this series past my 5k promise. As always, this will be a RWDE-focused meta (though I'm eager to see how much nostalgia carries me through the season), so if you Don't Like; Don't Read.

Everyone got that? Great!

Now, indulge me for a moment and cast your mind back. It's October of 2015. Pizza Rat is a tumblr icon, Left Shark still reigns, and everyone is arguing over whether a dress is gold and white, or blue and black (it's the former FYI ;). Amidst such quality memes RWBY begins airing again on the 24th, presumably bringing with it another season of stellar choreography and simple, if entertaining conflict. Team RWBY has just helped contain a massive breach courtesy of Cinder's machinations, Torchewick is in Ironwood's custody, the White Fang is falling under Salem's puppeteering, Penny has revealed her android identity as well as her supposed fate to save the world, the girls are beginning to acknowledge the responsibility of their chosen career path, and the mysterious Raven has been identified as Yang's birth mother. All in all, RWBY has a lot to play with going into its third season.

It's notable then that we open peacefully. The viewer is treated to a number of environmental shots to set the scene, including one of the forest with its iconic falling Fall leaves. Ruby is positioned at the edge of a cliff with her signature rose petals drifting behind her. Stylistically it fits the scene, though from a literal standpoint it also implies that she used her semblance speed to get here. Given the momentary reveal that she's speaking to her mom, that's a rather heartwarming detail.

Sidenote: has anyone given any thought to cliffs in this series? It only occurred to me recently how often they show up, often during character milestones. Here we have Ruby talking to Summer for the first time, her (bodiless) grave situated at the end of a cliff. The Beacon initiation involves chucking the kids off a cliff and seeing how they fare, an action that is the catalyst for the group's introductions/growing dynamics. Shooting Oscar off the edge of Atlas solidifies Ironwood's turn from anti-hero to outright villain. Though I'm far from a fan of this scene, Ruby's (ridiculous) near-fall off the cliff during the fight with Cordovin preludes her (supposed) growth in leadership as she stands up to Qrow. Penny lets herself fall from Amity after sacrificing herself to get it up into the air. Then, of course, we've got the girls falling off of Ambrosius' bridge, taking them to a world where - execution aside - the intention was for them all to go through major developments: Ruby is literally reborn, Jaune experiences a lifetime of struggle, Yang and Blake finally admit their feelings, and Weiss... gets over her whole country being destroyed?

Idk, we'll have to come back to that one.

I clearly don't have a big takeaway here, just the acknowledgement that this is a visual RWBY gravitates towards. Might do a whole side meta on it some day...

Anyway, as said we realize quickly this is Summer's grave with her name carved into the headstone along with "Thus kindly I scatter." Notably, she also has her rose motif there and it's likewise prominent on Ruby's belt in this scene. Looking back, we can see how RWBY did a better job at the start of sprinkling in these significant character details before, you know, dropping them completely and then attempting a rapid-fire resurrection. Meaning, I would have bought into the emotion of Ruby giving her pendant up in Volume 9 if we'd gotten these moments consistently throughout the story's run. It wouldn't take much, just a reminder every couple of episodes to maintain the momentum. Give Ruby a scene where she explains that this rose was left by Summer before she disappeared and she's treasured it ever since. Show a flashback where we learn that it was really left behind for both girls and Yang handed it down to Ruby when she was old enough to keep track of it. Give us a minor conflict where it's lost during battle and Ruby unnecessarily endangers herself in an attempt to retrieve it (perhaps in Volume 8, setting up that the object itself is not as important as the intangible love it represents). Hell, keep it lighthearted where Yang gets Ruby something rose related at the gift shop, Nora tucks a Rose into her hair while wandering the wilderness, Qrow gives the pendant a cheeky flick while talking about how Ruby's as stubborn as her mom. My point is there are a million ways the show could have built towards that scene in Volume 9 - ways like showing us that rose on Summer's gravestone - but the show dropped the ball halfway through.

Here and now though, Ruby begins catching Summer up on everything that's happened to her since she started Beacon, which serves as a useful way to catch the viewer up too - both those who, for whatever reason, may have started RWBY with Volume 3, and those who just need a hiatus refresher.

Ruby is delightfully awkward here, a personality trait that I think becomes more forced as the series goes on. She jokes that she hasn't gotten kicked out of Beacon yet - while doing that cute little rock on her heels thing - and says that she's able to "keep [Yang] in line" by being on the same team. She follows that up with, "...that was a joke" which is just quintessential Ruby to me. Love it.

She recaps that Yang has grown a lot as a fighter since Summer left, the rest of their team is made up of Blake and Weiss, together they form Team RWBY and yes, that's as confusing as it sounds. She's stopped bad guys and met some "odd" teachers, including Ozpin.

(THAT'S MY BOY!!!)

Looking back, this is actually a fascinating couple of lines. At least, I think they have the potential to be fascinating if RT had followed a clear writing path. Ruby wonders again why Ozpin let her into Beacon early, but shrugs it off under the assumption that he'll tell her one day. "You know how he is."

Yeah, I do, Ruby. Do you?

We already knew from their initial interaction that Ruby knew who Ozpin was - she recognizes him on sight - though him posing the question implies that he never visited Patch post-her birth. At least, not recently enough for Ruby to have formed a memory of them meeting. I can only assume then that she's heard enough about him from Tai and Qrow to a) be sure of his identity (any promotional material/news about Beacon would have helped with that too) and b) believes strongly that her impression of him formed since entering Beacon aligns with what her parents presumably said about him: "You know how he is." The fact that this is in reference to Ozpin's secret keeping makes me wonder how often that came up around the dinner table. Did Tai ever express frustration, a la Ironwood, that they're clearly being kept in the dark about things? Did Qrow ever dodge the girls' questions about where he's been because he can't be honest about his spy activities, aligning Ozpin's reputation with secrecy by virtue of working for him? The casualness with which Ruby shrugs off Ozpin's secrets to Summer heavily implies that Ozpin's cagey history is both well known to the family and accepted.

Honestly, I would have loved to see this woven into Ruby's core characterization, perhaps even an extension of her "simple soul." Give me a girl who is intrinsically accepting of people, including their need to keep certain things close to the chest. Teammate deliberately kept her faunus identity under wraps? Friend hides the fact that she's an android from the whole world? Ruby accepts them. Ruby gets it. The fact that Ruby does, canonically, accept their duplicity without so much as a blink is, I think, one of the reasons why I expected her of all people to be more sympathetic towards Ozpin's hidden identity. We can argue about the girls' right to the truth via participating in this war till the cows come home, but at the end of the day Ozpin's secrets are intrinsically tied up in his family, his history, and the trauma surrounding both. Let the others get mad, prioritizing information over personal motivations (that does fit their characterizations well, with Blake perhaps being an exception), but Ruby? The show has never been willing to commit to the kind of dark story that would result in a 180 character growth - endlessly forgiving protagonist becomes jaded and cynical as she experiences The Horrors - and little moments like this one further emphasize to me that Ruby, specifically Ruby, is uniquely suited to helping Ozpin not just fight, but finally finish this war. It should never have been (just) about her talent with a scythe, or even the rarity of Silver Eyes. The Gods wanted Ozpin to unite humanity and here's a young woman who unabashedly loves everyone that the world tends to despise: secret keepers and drunk uncles and faunus and Schnees and scary androids. Ruby should have been the emotional bridge!!

Okay, I swear I'm not going to make this series a rehash of my issues with the later Volumes lol. Inevitably some things are going to crop up though.

Moving on, Ruby mentions that Tai is here too and the viewer gets to see his avatar for the first time, albeit from a distance. In keeping Summer updated on her... husband? Wait, were they married? Well, in keeping her updated on her partner, Ruby says that, "He's, you know... Dad," which, unlike the Ozpin line, is just plain funny. Sure, most of her talk is very exposition-y and absolutely functions as a soft lead-in to new content, but that's not to say a story should ever put absurd dialogue in a character's mouth simply for the sake of the viewer. That is, Ruby should never say, 'Oh, Tai is here! You know, my Dad?' because the person she's talking to, Summer, knows damn well who Tai is. Television has actually gotten better about this as a whole. Once upon a time a medical drama would have the doctor yelling, 'Her skin is turning yellow - she's jaundiced! Her liver is failing!' to ensure that the viewer understood precisely what 'jaundiced' meant, never mind how absurd it was for a professional to be shouting that among their peers. (Granted, medical dramas as a whole are absurd. I say that with love.) Despite RT's general inexperience, RWBY belongs to an era of televised storytelling where leaving certain things unsaid is par for the course.

Here, the unspoken information is what it means for Tai to be, you know, Tai. We don't really know who Tai is yet- personality-wise, I mean - so Ruby's comment functions more as a way to set up our expectations rather than to connect with us in agreement. We now expect Tai to be the kind of guy who does things to make his teenage daughter sigh and go, 'That's Dad...' and we, presumably, look forward to seeing that.

Granted, the three things we do know about Tai at this point in the story consist of:

He's a fellow Huntsmen (which is an insane job)

He let his daughter join Beacon two years early to also become a Huntress (also kinda insane but I support him)

He maintains a relationship with said daughter and daughter Sr by sending them their dog in the mail (do I really need to say it?)

Based on that I suppose we can guess as to what Tai is like lol.

He calls Ruby away so they're not late for the match and she sends a last message to Summer over her shoulder: "It was good to talk." As we transition, a murder of crows flies across the sky. Or is it an unkindness of ravens? I can barely tell in real life, let alone when they're animated blobs, but either option works well enough given the upcoming revelation about the Branwen twins.

Cutting to the arena a little time in the future, the viewer is treated to some establishing shots that, while simple, are honestly pretty cool. I believe this is our first introduction to Atlas' floating environments and showing a bit of Beacon Academy in the background helps give us a sense of scale.

This event is clearly popular, with the stadium absolutely packed with people (even more are trickling in from ferrying ships) and, to RT's credit, they did a bit of work to convey diversity in this world. We see a decent variety of skin tones as well as faunus characteristics, to say nothing of the cool designs many of the competitors will get. Beyond the main cast still being overwhelmingly white, I'd say the biggest issue here is the lack of body diversity, what with everyone having the same, stick-thin figure. Yeah, RT is clearly using the same base model copied a hundred times and I'm very aware of their previous status as a small, independent company, but such visuals nevertheless stand out in a series that's been pushing a minority plotline for three seasons.

The camera swoops down to follow Team RWBY in the midst of a battle which, again, is staged in a way that's clearly meant to catch up/invite in new viewers. It's very trailer-esque as each shot lingers on Weiss, Blake, and Yang for a moment before finishing with Ruby, complete with a twirl of Crescent Rose. This is the show visually reminding you of what it's really about. Sure, we might have started with Ruby speaking peacefully by a grave, but at the end of the day RWBY is the story of a team engaging in combat situations.

Oobleck and Port are announcing the event and Oobleck throws out his standard "Doctor" when his title goes unacknowledged.

You know, I started RWBY nearly a decade ago. Four years ago I secured a PhD, so I feel that now.

Port provides another handy info dump for those "just now joining us." AKA the viewer who has no idea what a Vytal Festival is, but this is as good an excuse as any given that people are still entering the stadium. Simply put, all the Kingdoms' huntsmen schools are competing as teams first, then as duos, then as individuals to determine the final winner who will have achieved "victory for their kingdom!" Age and year are irrelevant, which makes perfect sense given the nature of RWBY's combat. You've got young prodigies like Ruby and people who sneak into Beacon like Jaune, and though the other schools/years probably don't have as much drama going on, the variety of semblances, weapons, dust use, and personal experience really makes this anyone's game. A first year might easily beat a fourth year if they won the genetic lottery with their semblance, or a student from School A might trounce someone their age from School B, depending on how much their school has sent them into real combat situations.

Given all that, I kinda wish the Festival had developed the other Kingdoms more, given that it's the perfect opportunity for the cultures to learn from one another and/or butt heads. In a perfect world, one where RT had some sense of where their story was going, I would have loved to see:

Strong development of Vacuo's citizens, especially given that it will be the focal point of Volume 10 and possibly the end of the series (if we ever get that...).

Though the gag that Weiss excepts strict, militaristic fighters from Atlas only to get Neon is funny, that 'Don't judge a book by its cover' lesson really doesn't align well with what Volume 7 and 8 try to push. Better, perhaps, to set up Atlas' dictatorship tendencies before swinging hard in that direction (and I'll get into how what we do see doesn't make the cut).

How Remnant's racism gets displayed in a highly public competition. Do Blake and the other faunus face more discrimination now that they're in the public eye? Do asshole citizens challenge wins because no way did a faunus beat that human?

How different schools approach training their huntsmen. Specifically, everyone seems to abide by the four-person team structure, so why would this competition eventually highlight duos and individuals? It seems counter to what Beacon, and by extension all the other schools, are trying to promote. This setup would make more sense if we were shown that different schools have radically different curriculum. Maybe it's eventually 1v1 because Vacuo's individualist, survival-based culture teaches huntsmen to fend for themselves; teammates are just another liability. Maybe Atlas, being militaristic, prizes safety in numbers and has students train in groups of six rather than four. Maybe Mistral is incredibly semblance-focused (a way to develop Neptune's phobia rather than just making it a gag; a fighter who can't or won't use their semblance is considered effectively useless) and if you can negate that aspect of their style somehow, you find they're lacking severely in weapon-based combat.

Again, I know that RWBY, particularly early RWBY, only had so much time per episode, but looking back it feels like there are a lot of missed opportunities in this world-watched event. None of this is even taking into account Cinder sneaking into the school, or Penny being outed as an android. If any RWBY rewriters are reading this, the Festival is a potential goldmine of characterization and cultural development. If you're going to write random RWBY books, write some about that!

One moment of cultural significance that is shown though is the Atlas security hovering around the arena. They mostly keep to the background, without any single appearance being obtrusive (yet). This is one of those moments where (some) fans look back and say, "See? Ironwood was always a controlling, military-obsessed bastard," but the reality is that this is incredibly tame by real world standards, to say nothing of the realities of RWBY's fantasy world. Regardless of how you feel about the, uh... motivations behind the security in your country (because that's a whole other conversation), you expect there to be some level of professional oversight when that many people are meeting in one place. That's a reality we have to work with, which includes all the potential pitfalls, biases, manipulations, and accidents that come with any large-scale endeavor. Toss in the fact that RWBY's security is designed to defend against man-eating monsters and I'm honestly surprised it isn't presented as dystopian here. Meaning, we easily could have been given a story where people are comparatively safe from grimm in modern day Remnant and the security functions primarily as outside control and/or a fear-mongering tactic. It's not that security is inherently unnecessary, but those walls have done a damn good job for the last generation or so, so why is James so insistent on populating this festival with his probably not-needed robots? Seems sus 🤔.

As it stands, grimm DO attack people on the regular (that was kind of a big part of last Volume's finale), security IS necessary (according to many other council professionals once James raises the issue), and it's arguably MORE necessary now - during the festival - because there are so many potentially negative emotions just waiting to crop up. Instead of "Seems sus," the reaction to having defensive robots around is more, "No duh." At the very least RWBY might have had the characters react to the security with suspicion/fear, even if that doesn't totally track with the rest of the worldbuilding, or better yet, demonstrate that there are major issues with AI leading the charge (robot mistakes kid in grimm mask for real grimm and fires a shot!). Granted, we get that through the hacking at the very end of the Volume, but here and now the Atlas ships seem to be used primarily for transporting viewers, the crowd is fully at ease with these guys, and — as we'll see later — the prospect of additional security in the form of AI is greeted with enthusiasm, not wariness, simply because it will keep real, breathing people off the front lines. Those are all important things to keep in mind when you consider whether a) The show took a very sharp turn in Volumes 7-8 or b) The show capitalized on a long established, slow burn plotline.

(Psst the answer is 'B')

ANYWAY, Oobleck is yelling about the "Spectacular spectacles on which to speculate on!" and I love him all the more. While he and Port narrate we get some non-animated shots of people viewing the Festival from around the world, though frankly it doesn't do much to help RWBY's worldbuilding. Some people watch the fights from a camper outside, others are in a minimalist apartment, still others are in what's basically a bar... if you're looking for intriguing backgrounds to drum up interest in the world outside of Beacon, you're not going to find it here. The presence of various faunus individuals is really the only thing that distinguishes these settings from a show based in the real world.

Onto the fighting! (It's about time :p) The girls are facing off against Team ABRN (pronounced "Auburn") from Haven and they're decent for a couple of one-off characters. I like the design of the girl with the skateboard - Reese - and how her weapon, the board itself, gives her a lot of flexibility in battle. Since it functions as a hoverboard she has a lot of maneuverability, she can use the board as a shield, a projectile, adapt its abilities via Dust, and - of course - she can pull both sides apart to duel wield the guns. Looking at all that flexibility, it is a little lame that she 'loses' that particular encounter with Blake by slipping on the ice, but then we're not really supposed to care about these characters. They exist solely to get us hyped for the battles to come and give a quick primer on how those battles will work. AKA, now we've learned that the battlefield itself has hazards the girls must circumvent.

Blake is cute here though. She's so concerned and I'm like yeah, girl, that looked like it hurt 😬

This whole exchange has that same vibe: one of casual playfulness, which makes perfect sense given that this is supposed to be a fun competition. They're exhibition matches, not real attempts to take the other team out (which is why Yang's supposed act later in the tournament will be seen as so heinous). The guy with the pink hair (Nadir) full on pouts when Ruby successfully traps him in a block of ice and, of course, we have the classic "Got your back!"/"My BFF!" lines in response. The girls are enjoying themselves and that's so damn wholesome to see after all the tragedies - plot and writing-wise - of the later Volumes.

Team ABRN are able to make a bit of a comeback and - *gasp* - the girls have to actually think creatively/combine techniques in order to get the upper-hand. Blake successfully tricks Reese with a clone and catches her in the midriff with a quickly timed ribbon, cleanly knocking her out of the ring. It's here that we learn a team member can be eliminated via leaving the bounds, or having their aura dip too low (remember when that was a thing?) I know I just said there's teamwork, and there absolutely is here, but it did stand out to me how Blake just like... disappears after this moment? I mean she comes back, but it's clear RT wanted each girl to have her moment in this battle, despite the fact that any member who successfully defeated their opponent would be rushing off to help the others. That should be a near defining win condition - defeat one opponent and suddenly it's a 2 vs 1 situation for someone else - but that expectation falls by the wayside until the fight's final moments.

It's a good fight though. Not the greatest by RWBY standards, but it was no hardship to rewatch for this recap either. Weiss pulls out an epic ice hand that ensnares two of the members, now rolling chaotically across the arena, and clearly she thinks this is the end of the fight. However, Arslan — the monk-type who favors hand-to-hand combat (or the one with the "Eastern martial arts influence" according to the RWBY wiki...)— simply rolls her eyes, plants her feet, and shatters the ball with a single hit. Gotta admit, it's pretty cool.

Of course, Team RWBY still comes out victorious in the end. With all of Team ABRN now in one place, the girls have one of those lovely mind-reading moments and pull off a coordinated attack, allowing Yang to sucker-punch them all out of the ring. Again, it's nice to see that kind of teamwork, as well as the adorable way they all stand there, mildly shocked that they won.

I'll take that over the brazen, cocky confidence they've gained any day.

The only thing I'm kinda iffy about regarding this fight is how Team ABRN feels a little less like a full-fledged team to me, and more like a faint Team RWBY echo. It's most noticeable in the Yang vs. Arslan sections where you've got two yellow-coded, hand-to-hand snarkers facing off. Blake and Reese both feel like the cool, alternative style members of their teams, and then you've got the Weiss-Ruby duo trying to overtake the Bolin-Nadir duo. It's admittedly a subtle familiarity that lessens with each example, but it stood out to me in the re-watch; like Team ABRN only exists to give Team RWBY someone vaguely similar to overcome. Which, granted, they do. These are not characters we're going to follow as the series progresses, so in most respects they've done precisely what they needed to do and in a way that looks cool and feels entertaining. So this isn't a criticism, really. More an acknowledgment that RWBY is a series with limits and if we want to know more about these characters/flesh them out beyond their paralleling characteristics, we'll have to do that ourselves in the fanfic.

As Ruby jumps into the air in a victory celebration, we PowerPoint slide cut to the festival later that day where she nearly collapses, asking if anyone else is starving.

Yeah, child. You just made it through a physically intensive battle in front of an audience while existing as a teenager. Of course you're hungry. Blake's stomach gives a giant, embarrassing growl in response and Weiss sarcastically bemoans the fact that there's nowhere to eat at the food-focused festival. Good times, good times.

Ruby: "It's okay, Weiss. I forget about the fair grounds too."

Before they can grab lunch though Weiss declines a call from her father and an old 'acquaintance' suddenly shows up.

Emerald.

You know, kudos to Katie here because Emerald's laugh and, "Good to see you, Ruby" sounds so fake to me now. It just oozes, 'I secretly hate you but am pulling out all my acting skills to convince you otherwise' energy. Obviously RWBY has a host of villains/antagonists that have done a plethora of heinous things, but there's something particularly skin-crawling to me about seeing Emerald in retrospect. Part of it is the deception. I don't know about anyone else, but I personally would prefer a villain who's upfront about their nature from the get-go, rather than one who pretends to be my friend before stabbing me in the back. The first scenario just lacks the same emotional punch, you know? Though the other part of it is, of course, knowing where everyone ends up. Beacon will fall. Ozpin will "die." Pyrrha will actually die, and our heroes will be sent out into a war they're in no way ready for. Yes, Salem is our ultimate Big Bad, yes Emerald has her sympathetic moments and does a heel-turn into "good guy" territory four Volumes from now... but I think the fandom often forgets that she willingly and actively participated in this horror show. This isn't someone just along for the ride because their crush manipulated them, this is someone with a working brain between their ears who has PLENTY of time to consider the ramifications of this and still went, "Yeah, I'll lie my way into orchestrating a massacre."

All this hindsight angst is interrupted by the joke (and I use that term with great reservation) that Ruby must have dropped her wallet because "Girl pockets are the worst!" Sorry, but that has such cis-guy-trying-to-relate-to-women-and-failing-miserably energy to me. Like yeah, I also hate the super small/outright fake pockets that they often sew into women's clothing and I too have smiled at women promoting pockets as part of their independent brands... but somehow hearing the RWBY writers reference it just doesn't land. It's not #problematic, just cringy.

Emerald butters them up a bit by complimenting their fighting and Weiss notes that they haven't seen Emerald's teammates in action yet. We cut to their battle where they dominate the other team, complete with a disguised Neo showing her real eye color before she knocks the competitor out. "[They did] really well," says Emerald in the fakest humble tone ever heard.

Ruby invites them all to lunch and Emerald - clearly horrified by the prospect - dodges by claiming that her teammates are too socially awkward for a meetup. In her defense, Mercury is in the process of randomly sniffing a boot, so although this is absolutely just an excuse, she's also not wrong. Like, at all lol.

Fishing for more info, Emerald asks who's moving onto the doubles round and it turns out that Team RWBY voted for Weiss and Yang. There are three things that I love about this moment:

They voted. Yes, Ruby cheekily tries to make it sound like this is all coming from her genius as team leader, but at the end of the day they decided as a team who would represent them. It's a small detail, but those stand out so much more now that we have Ruby vocally and angrily calling the shots.

(This is a ridiculous side-note I'm 99.9% sure I've mentioned before, but every time I talk about Ruby's intense form of "leadership" in the latter Volumes, I'm reminded of Rick's, "This is not a democracy!" in The Walking Dead. If you know, you know.)

They chose Weiss and Yang. From both an in-world and meta perspective, it's actually a little surprising that Ruby isn't representing them. As established, she's team leader. The team is named after her. She's the protagonist of the show. She's also, canonically, a prodigy wielding an insanely deadly weapon. Yet it's refreshing as a viewer to have a new duo taking the spotlight and within the story-world this choice reinforces Point #1: They're a team and no matter how individually talented any one member may be - or even what titles they hold - they are, at the end of the day, all on equal footing. Why shouldn't Yang and Weiss represent?

The way they both respond to this reveal is dang cute. Weiss' "I will happily represent Team RWBY" while curtseying to Emerald vs. Yang's "Yeah! We're gonna kick some butt!" while slamming her fists together. It's a great contrast and shows why these two might have been chosen. Though powerful on their own, their styles and personality are different enough to compensate for any flaws.

With all that out of the way Emerald rejoins Mercury and her smile immediately drops. She's disgusted at having to get all buddy-buddy with them, but "Orders are orders." She has this classic villain moment where she expresses shock over how they're just so happy all the time and I'm like oh, honey. Darling. Morally misaligned baby girl. Just give it a few Volumes.

We cut to Team RWBY at lunch and aRE THE BOWLS SUPPOSED TO BE THAT BIG?

I recalled that they were big as a visual gag, but not half the girls' size. Honestly? Great choice. I too want to live in a world where you can get insanely giant noodles a millisecond after you order them.

Deviating from the others, Blake nods at the seller dude and receives an equally giant bowl filled with fish. You know, I really wish RWBY had done something with the faunus' animal traits rather than turning them into an endless joke. The concept of a god merging humans with literal animals and then, generations down the line, cat-people being influenced by cat instincts as well as human instincts (because remember, we're animals too) is actually really interesting to me... but navigating the racial implications of that takes a level of nuance that RWBY was never interested in exploring. So we're just left with a Blake who is fish obsessed and chases laser pointers and hates dogs and we're supposed to laugh at all that, rather than buying into her teachings that many people use these traits to dehumanize the faunus.

Anyway, Weiss shows off a bit and pays for all their food. At least, she tries to. Turns out her card has been declined, which is more than a little confusing to her given that she was "barely into [her] monthly allowance." Hmm, could that possibly have anything to do with her ignoring her father's phone calls? Surely no one knows.

Luckily, Pyrrha shows up and offers to pay instead (it's nice having a famous BFF, huh?), but like... what were the girls' initial plans? None of them were expecting Weiss to pay, yet they act like Pyrrha is saving the day by showing up, implying that they don't have the money to cover their meal. The shop guy even takes Blake's fish away, leaving her despondent. So what? Were they planning to eat and just worry about the bill later? Actually, that sounds exactly like something these chaotic preteens would do lol. Yang especially. She was introduced while "buying" a drink before destroying the whole dang bar.

Speaking of teenagers, they all finish their bowls with the kind of appetite only seen in 14-71yos. Although, it was a near thing for Jaune. He's very close to barfing (callback!) and Nora encourages him to "aim it at the enemy!"

She continues ragging on him for a bit, failing to come up with any compliments while hyping up her team. Pyrrha is a world-renowned fighter, Ren is basically a ninja, she can bench five of herself, and Jaune is... Jaune. Nora also doesn't include him in her secondary list which implies that Jaune a) hasn't trained as much (or, more realistically, hasn't gotten as much out of it) as the others, b) doesn't possess an "awesome" weapon, and c) is still frequently yelled at by Glynda.

Poor Jaune. I don't say that very often anymore, but he's going through it here lol.

All of this leads to Nora spiraling at the possibility of them losing. This includes the oh-so-causal drop that she and Ren "have no parents and no home left to go to" which is a HELL of a thing to throw out in a comedically framed breakdown. I mean, being orphans is sad enough, but "no home left to go to" won't be explained until we learn that their town was basically wiped off the map, so damn.

Team RWBY reassures them that a fight with actual rules is nothing compared to what they've already been through. You know, the murderers, extremists, and sociopaths. "Oh," gushes Ruby, "imagine what it'll be like when we graduate!"

As Port and Oobleck call Team JNPR to the arena for their match we cut to Emerald and Mercury settling in to enjoy the festivities. In retrospect, this right here is a really nicely composed shot:

It tells us that Emerald is serious about going through with this destruction (again, she's no manipulated damsel), but she's not getting the same personal enjoyment out of it like Mercury is, as showcased by the smirk. The focus remains on them with Team RWBY framed in between. This is the villains' Volume. They're going to win. Our eyes follow the soon-to-be champions not of the festival, but the battle, while our heroes are literally and metaphorically trapped between them. Finally, Yang is the only one who looks back. We won't know this for several episodes, but she's at the heart of their plan and has every reason to cast the almost-but-not-quite-worried glance over her shoulder. Subtle foreshadowing, how I love thee.

It's shit like this that makes my brain go, "It used to be good! RWBY used to be fun AND occasionally insightful! Those overworked animators were uplifting a mediocre story and the result was good!!!"

As they take their seats who should show up but Cinder, casually using her semblance to pop a kernel of popcorn (power move). "Even if you know how a story ends," she says, "that doesn't make it any less fun to watch." True that! I mean, she's talking about knowing that Team JNPR will be moving on because they need Pyrrha to murder Penny, but I agree with the sentiment outside of that context.

Actually, do they ever explain how they manipulated the fights? I mean, they obviously entered and are winning their own battles and we know that Mercury will be staging his injury with Yang... but here Cinder makes it sound like she's pulling strings in every match. Toss that onto the list of development I would have liked for this Volume: what precisely are they doing behind the scenes? I'll have to pay careful attention going forward to make sure I don't miss anything because right now all I can recall is them looking at Penny's blueprints (presumably obtained via Watts).

Team JNPR's area is randomized into a forest and mountainous land before the battle commences. We end on that cliffhanger, complete with the superhero-esque freeze shot.

And that concludes the first episode of Volume 3! As well as my first recap in a long while. If you've followed me at all you'll know that work has been my personal Big Bad the last two-ish years. Given the scope of my responsibilities and the energy they extract, I simply don't have the time or means to write the way I used to. However, I feel like if I can muster up the willpower to finish this on tonight of all nights (people reading from the future: check the posting date and you'll understand), then I must be getting a little better at carving out writing time in my hectic schedule. All hail self-improvement!

On that positive note, everyone have a wonderful night. Or at least try to. Seriously. Text a loved one, treat yourself to a favored snack, do something that feels fulfilling. Take some deep breaths and I'll see you for the next one.

~Clyde❤️

#RWBY #RWDE #RWBY Recaps #RWBY meta #mymetas

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