#also this is probably like . my longest tumblr post lmao

[dankusoofficial]

Hello! Haven't played Osu, Tatakae! Ouendan, but I have played Elite Beat Agents! Do you want to go off on Osu Tatakae Ouendan a bit, I would love to hear some things about it!

oh god .

hi ?? hello ?? this oddly feels like such an honor for you to be in my ask box - but putting that aside , sure ! playing both it and its sequel off and on for like the past two years really helps me here tbh LMAO

so . Osu ! Tatakae ! Ouendan was the first game of the series , releasing on the DS in '05 . it's what i'd call a little more ' primitive ' than EBA or the 2nd ouendan , examples being there's no unlockable songs , that you're not able to save replays of stages you've played , that you can't skip through the cutscenes that play while your stamina meter is filling up on the bottom screen ( which is persistently annoying for if you keep dying in one stage ) / outro cutscenes , that said stamina bar drains faster than in the other games , especially on higher difficulties , there's also only one ending song , unlike the other two games ( and also ! it's Ready Steady Go , which is the exact same song used in the Fullmetal Alchemist opening ) - but for this being the first game of the series that iNIS made , it's excusable .

Elite Beat Agents came out in '06 as somewhat of a localization of OTO , after seeing how many people were importing OTO to play it even without an english language option . an upgrade to the original OTO formula . you probably know the rest .

Osu ! Tatakae ! Ouendan ! 2 ( otherwise known as Moero ! Nekketsu Rhythm Damashii Osu ! Tatakae ! Ouendan 2 ) came out in '07 , which added a bit of a twist compared to the original - that being the fact there was now two teams , the Yuuhi Ouendan and the Asahi Ouendan ( also known as the Encouraging Nobility ) which rival against each other to be the top ouendan team . this game has similar features to what elite beat agents added , and even had a special distribution event / an early form of DLC where you could get a special mode where you could play as the EBA ( which put an EBA badge button on the difficulty selection screen , and was just a model swap . it can actually still be put into the game through cheats if you have it on something like an r4 card )

and sadly , that's where the curtain quietly closed on the series . they tried pitching one on the 3ds to nintendo , but they never greenlit it , and that's where it ends - i'd say , if it weren't for the pc game Osu ! existing . it at least , lives on through that .

[t-lostinworlds]

Warm Winter & Fiery Frost | B.Barnes [Completed]

》 PAIRING: bucky barnes x ex-HYDRA assassin!female!reader

》 TROPE/GENRE: grumpy x grumpy, enemies to lovers-ish, slow burn-ish, angst, fluff-ish

》 SUMMARY: They say opposites attract. You and Bucky were so alike—He was called The Winter Soldier and you were called Frost, for fucks sake—that it's probably the reason why you hated each other. Or was it the denying of powerful feelings in fear of getting hurt? You know, like how the cliché goes. Because you know what they also say: There's a fine line between love and hate.

》 WARNINGS: canon typical violence (blood, guns, combat, etc.), canon divergence, meanness against each other (at the start & that one scene™), emotional constipation! (on both sides. they both need therapy lbr), poorly translated russian prolly, soulmate vibes (not really?), r has bucky at knifepoint quite often (& threatens to kill him), bucky's kink unlocked? (not explored lol), down bad!bucky, r has a backstory, mentions of: past traumas, grooming (no specific ages but it's implied that r was very young), manipulation, experimentation, child trafficking, torture, murder (u know hydra tings), a sweet, happy and open ending (+ if i missed anything pls let me know!)

》 TOTAL WORD COUNT: 29k+ (my longest fic yet)

A/N: i actually started this a year ago??? (according to my doc) which is crazy to me?? bc it feels like i only had this idea for months? where has the time gone. ANYWAYS. first behemoth bucky fic & first fic in a few months so pls be kind ksksks

++ also would like to say that r in this isn't the usual happy-go-lucky, sweet, emotionally capable, sunshine-y person compared to what i typically write but she has her reasons. cold & hardened but mushy on the inside. u know. like our fave supersoldier. they're honestly the same person just different fonts lmao. ANYWAYS,

++ additional note: tumblr has a limit of only 1000 paragraphs (or text block so to speak). the fic itself is 1300 paragraphs so it's waay over the limit. so i decided to cut it into two parts BUT i also posted it on AO3 if you want to read it as a whole already. hope you guys still read and enjoy it! <3

📍 BLOG NAVIGATION ✩ B. BARNES MASTERLIST ✩ MAIN MASTERLIST ✩

⊱ ─────.⋅♚ *｡･ﾟ.★. *｡･ﾟ✫*.

PART ONE | PART TWO

or READ ON AO3

✫*ﾟ･ﾟ｡.★.*｡･ﾟ♛ *.

↬ thank you for reading lovely! reblog & leave a comment if you enjoyed! feedback is always appreciated! ++ consider supporting me on ko-fi if you can!

✉ NO TAGLIST: go follow @t-lostinlibrary​​​​ and turn on notifications to get updated on my works!

© t-lostinworlds, 2024 ✘ I do NOT give any permission to repost, translate, & use any of my works (writings, gifs, dividers, etc.) on any platform, with credit or otherwise. Please respect that. Thank you.

[neo-the-indigo]

Here it is finally....

Okay, so I've been debating on whether or not I should make this post debunking one of TheBadJoe's theories, and I'm finally making it (yay!) If you haven't read the post, here is a link to the theory post I'm mentioning. You should also go to Episode 15's YouTube comment section to find his comment too.

The reason why I'm debunking this theory in the first place is because it sucks. A lot.

Disclaimer: This post is not hating or discrediting TheBadJoe and all his hard work. I'm just debunking his claims/shaky line of reasoning. I'm also aware that this post was made after episode 15 was released and before episode 16 was released.

Now, on to the theory debunking. This is probably the longest post I've ever written. (spoilers)

Let's start by summarizing the post in question. Basically, TheBadJoe is saying this:

"Charles mentioned the use of barehanded strangulation, meaning strangling without a weapon. But, Arei has no marks on her body other than her wrists, and Charles couldn't have known that if he didn't see the body. Therefore, that is a huge contradiction/discrepancy, and that means Ace isn't the culprit."

Well. I'm not sure how he reached that conclusion. Here's what I think.

This is NOT a discrepancy/contradition, for 2 main reasons.

I will explain these in detail below.

How did TheBadJoe misinterpret Charles's statement?

Mixing up terms and definitions.

TheBadJoe incorrectly assumed that barehanded strangulation meant not using a weapon. If you're wondering how I got that from the Tumblr post, I didn't. I initially found this theory in the YouTube comment section of episode 15, where I argued with him about this not being a discrepancy.

What he didn't realize is that barehanded strangulation isn't actually a strangulation term (and he proceeded to correct me while being loud and wrong lmao). What he's talking about is manual strangulation, which is defined as, "applying pressure to the neck using hands, arms, or legs." (If you want more info I read this article.) Why is this a mistake? I'll get to that, bear with me.

2. Misinterpreting Charles's character.

You're probably wondering, "What does Charles have to do with this, besides not seeing the body?" Well, he's the one who made the comment in the first place (ignore my sloppy highlighting lmao)

Charles is a character that prides himself on being pragmatic, logical and specific (heavy emphasis on specific.) If Charles were talking about Ace strangling Arei without the use of a weapon, he would actually say "manual strangulation". But he doesn't. He says barehanded specifically, which can be taken at face value. Charles is talking about Ace using his hands specifically. A little bit before this, Charles directly mentions Ace using his hands.

Charles is only talking about the usage of hands to knock Arei out, so why would he imply otherwise later? If another character had said this, that line of reasoning could work, but it's Charles. He's doesn't give vague descriptors, ever. Also, the cast has been mentioning that Arei didn't have marks on her body other than her neck, so Charles definitely knew about the evidence previously.

Okay. Now that we've covered how TheBadJoe misinterpreted the quote, let's move on to why what he pointed out is not, in fact, a discrepancy/contradiction. The reason is really simple, actually.

Ace used his forearm, not his hands, to strangle Arei.

I brought this up when making this claim to TheBadJoe, and he pointed out that this was an assumption made by Teruko.

Is is true that Teruko made an assumption? Yes. However, this is a very valid assumption, for quite a few reasons. I will list them below.

There's no evidence that Ace strangled Arei with his hands.

This is the most obvious reason that TheBadJoe missed somehow. If Ace used his hands, there would be proof of that on Arei's neck, such as bruising or maybe some swelling. Like he pointed out, Arei has no other marks on her body besides the red marks on her wrists. (I used this article btw)

2. You don't strangle someone from behind using your hands.

Also a really obvious reason. Even Ace is smart enough not to do that. Smh.

3. Strangling someone with your hands is a lot harder and more time consuming than using your forearm.

Like I've mentioned before, Arei had no signs of struggle. If Ace used his hands, there would've been more evidence of that, not just on Arei's neck, but possibly on Ace as well. Arei isn't the type of person who would go down without a fight, as we all know, so it is highly likely that Arei would've injured Ace further if there was a scuffle. Plus, the dev would've written something like that in if that were the case.

4. It ruins the goal of stealth/element of surprise.

If Ace had strangled Arei with his hands, he would've had to do so from the front, which lowers his chances of being successful. Again, Ace isn't the sharpest knife in the drawer, but he isn't that dumb.

Let's move on to one of the counterpoints that TheBadJoe mentioned.

He has a great point, and the turpentine is a great example.

Here's the thing though. The DRDT universe and the real world are pretty similar, so things that are different in the DRDT universe have to be established as different before applying it to something else. The turpentine is a great example of that (it works like chloroform in the DRDT universe, unlike the real world. That was established by Teruko in episode 7, as mentioned in the inital comment.) However, this does not apply to strangulation/Ace's strength. Why Ace's strength specifically? Simple. The only character that has been presented to have an abnormal amount of strength is Xander (and he's dead.) And even then, Xander's Hulk-strength (exaggerating) was established previously before being applied to the chapter 1 trial. Xander specifically could probably leave a mark, but Ace? It's safe to assume that's not the case. And before you go, "No it doesn't!" yes it absolutely does. Otherwise, it's bad writing, and DRDT is far from poorly written.

In other words, it's not a discrepancy because strangulation wasn't established as something that works different from the real world previously.

Okay, now to the final part of the debunking.

Most importantly, how does this prove Ace's innocence, and Eden guilty?

This is my biggest issue with this theory post. How did he intentionally leave out what actually ties Ace to the crime (the stretch band? His confession?) Even if this was a discrepancy, the evidence would still point to Ace! There also isn't a single piece of evidence that points to Eden and Eden alone. I'm super unsure about where his brain was going with that one.

Okay that's it! This totally didn't take me almost a month of procrastination! I hope y'all like it. If there's a discrepancy in my analysis please let me know so I can fix it.

Thanks for reading :)

[demigod-shenanigans]

Love will run deep like hurt runs out

Summary: Jason is sick. Being an ex-praetor, champion of Juno, son of Jupiter, he’s pretty sure that isn’t allowed.

Leo is dealing with some residual limb pain. After roughly three and a half months of this nonsense, he’s forced to admit that that’s maybe a little more allowed than he’d like it to be. Not while he’s trying to take care of his sick boyfriend, though.

Word count: 10.5k

Rating: Teen and Up

Current last part of this little AU and also the only one of my currently completed valgrace/HoO fics I hadn’t cross-posted to tumblr yet! This part is the longest by a lot, lmao. Can be read separately of the other fics!

I used the valgrace week assurance prompt a while back to finally get myself to finish it, and I ended up having a lot of fun with this! Something something Jason and Leo are both terrible patients and massive hypocrites. Also something something couples mutually comforting each other. Truly ridiculous amounts of physical affection in this one, these boys are unbearable about each other actually and I love them so much.

Also, to avoid confusion: should be pretty clear where it happens since it’s marked differently from the other scene changes but the fic starts out as a Jason POV and switches to Leo partway through!

———

Jason woke up drenched and freezing in the middle of the night. This would have been surprising, at least sort of, considering Camp Half-Blood wasn’t supposed to have weather, but his father had been in a mood lately, so it was less of a surprise than he wished. He just hoped it was something the gods could figure out among themselves for once, and not a sign someone was about to be sent on another deadly mission with the world at stake.

There was a part of Jason that wanted to just turn around and go back to sleep, but he knew that wasn’t a feasible solution, no matter how much he liked sleeping in the grass at the edge of the woods when he was feeling anxious.

It had been a bad week, as far as nightmares went, but this had helped a little—had soothed a childish instinct in him that had learned to feel at home in the wilderness. One that had known once he’d proven himself to Lupa, the pack would protect him. He was safe.

He hoped he’d proven himself to Camp Half-Blood, after everything.

But he really couldn’t stay out here with the weather like this. He’d been feeling a little off for days, and he couldn’t afford to get sick right now. There were things to be done. The permanent housing they were trying to establish for adult demigods who wanted to stay at Camp Half-Blood long-term wasn’t going to build itself. So he shook himself awake and got up.

He was covered in mud, but with the amount it was raining, that would probably resolve itself by the time he got back to his cabin. Because he would have to go back there, even if being watched by a stern statue of his father as he struggled to fall asleep didn’t exactly help his anxiety.

He could have been running back to the cabin to get out of the rain faster, but with how drenched he already was, he figured it didn’t really matter. He was too groggy for a decent run, anyway, and he really didn’t need to slip in the wet grass and concuss himself again. With his luck, Leo had been right about the existence of an angry Roman god of head injuries.

Jason didn’t go back to his cabin. He didn’t register where he was heading until he was already there, wet clothes dripping all over the floor of the forge. 

It might have been the middle of the night, but Leo was still up, working on what Jason assumed to be a replacement part for Festus. There had been a lot of those lately, as Leo tried to figure out what was causing the misfire issues. He hadn’t been able to actually resolve them yet, but he was pretty enthusiastic about it, and Festus seemed thrilled with all the attention and Tabasco sauce he’d been getting.

Jason meant to say something when he entered, but Leo seemed so utterly absorbed in his work that for a moment, Jason was transfixed just watching his boyfriend’s practiced motions, hammering away on heated metal, changing the shape only slightly until he got it just right. 

Jason had seen the gods do impossible things before, but this—the way Leo could create anything he set his mind to, from small toys to replacement parts for giant metal dragons to a trireme they’d spent several weeks living in—was a different kind of magic, and one he’d never grow tired of watching. 

Leo turned to grab a tool off the workbench and noticed him. He yelped, almost jumping out of his chair.

“Gods, Jase, I thought you were a swamp monster for a second,” he said, eyes wide. “You can’t sneak up on me like that! What if I’d decided to blast fire first and ask questions later?”

“At least that might have dried my clothes?” Jason suggested, rubbing at his face. His throat felt weird when he spoke. His voice sounded a little off. “Sorry for sneaking up on you. Too tired to think.”

“Which brings me to my next set of questions: why are you up, and why are you drenched? Did you piss off the naiads or something?”

Leo had put the small hammer he’d been holding back on the workbench, and now Jason had his undivided attention. It was a completely stupid reaction in this particular context, but having Leo look at him like that still made his face feel hot. In the best possible way, undivided attention from Leo was something Jason would absolutely never get used to.

“I didn’t sleep great, so I got back up,” he said, not technically lying but not really telling the truth, either. He moved closer to Leo. The heat from the forge helped, but the shivering was far worse than he’d realized. He let himself sink to the floor, pressing his eyes closed for a moment. He felt off. “As for your second question: have you looked outside lately?”

The forge had been built to be partially open, which was the only reason most people were able to breathe in here, and also meant you had an excellent view of the ongoing rainstorm.

This should have made it impossible to miss, but Leo blinked, confused, like he’d only just realized what was going on outside.

“Oh shit, we’ve got weather.”

“Yeah.” Jason sighed. “My father is apparently having a bad time and decided everyone else also needs to have a bad time.”

“That sounds like him.” Leo shook his head. “I didn’t even notice.”

“Not surprised. You seemed really absorbed when I got here.” Jason shrugged. “Not like I’m any better. Pretty sure if a building collapsed around me while I was sketching, I wouldn‘t realize until one of the rafters hit me in the head.”

“Sparky, we talked about this. No tempting the head injury deities,” Leo joked, looking him over. “How did you get this muddy on a five minute walk?”

“I didn’t.” Jason rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly. “I’ve had a few bad nights. Sleeping outside helps.”

“And here I thought one of my foster siblings waking me with a wet washcloth to the face was a dick move. You got a whole storm.” Leo might still have been joking, but there was an anxious edge to it now. He kneeled down next to Jason and pressed a hand to his face, eyes wide with alarm. “You’re freezing. It’s mid-December, Jason. Were you trying to compete with Khione for icicle of the year?” 

His hand was so warm that Jason wanted to melt into him. 

The words “you’re hot” were out of his mouth before his brain could fully register what he was saying. 

Leo grinned. “Yeah, I know, but it’s nice to be appreciated. C’mere, let’s get you warmed up.”

He wrapped around Jason, everything but his prosthetic leg slowly growing warm in a controlled burst of heat. After a moment of this, Jason’s clothes began to feel more moist than soaked, and the cold that had been seeping into his bones subsided. He still didn’t feel great, but he could have stayed like this forever, warm and comfortable and safe in a way he rarely felt. In a way he wasn’t sure he’d ever felt around anyone but Leo.

He had no idea how to express that, though—not even when he wasn’t sleep deprived and his head wasn’t spinning. In the current situation, all his brain unhelpfully supplied was “radiator boyfriend. Neat.”

It was stupid, and not at all what he’d meant to say, but Leo was laughing, so maybe he’d done something right. The laugh was a noise and a feeling with the way Leo was holding him. Jason’s limbs felt like pudding, and he knew it wasn’t just because of the warmth.

“I know, I know, you’ve got so much to brag about.” Leo was beaming. He was gorgeous, and also significantly blurrier than he’d been a moment ago. “Now we’re both nice and muddy, but at least you’re dry.”

“Mm.” Dry or not, Jason didn’t want to let go yet. “Do I win?”

Leo blinked. “What?”

“The icicle thing,” Jason said, and his boyfriend’s expression shifted again. Leo’s eyebrows drew together in something that was probably concern. Jason wasn’t entirely sure—mostly because the image was still swimming. That… probably wasn’t good. 

“Yeah. Always. No competition.” Leo pressed a kiss to his forehead. “You’re really out of it, hm?”

“I feel weird,” Jason admitted reluctantly. “It’s probably nothing.”

This was made slightly less convincing by the fact that he finished this sentence off with a coughing fit.

“Yeah, you’re sick. Garbage combo with being sleep-deprived and getting drenched, in my experience. You need to be inside, in a bed, like, three days ago.”

“Is time travel something you’re working on?”

“Obviously. What, did you think I was kidding all those times I talked about wanting to go back in time to kick my own ass?” Leo joked, but it was obvious his heart wasn’t in it. He kept looking at Jason like he was an unstable machine about to fall to bits. “Do you think you can get up?”

“Yeah,” Jason said, trying and failing to push himself up on his elbows. His head hurt, and his limbs still felt like pudding. “Actually, maybe I need a moment.”

“That’s fine,” Leo said, with an expression that didn’t fit the statement even slightly. “I need to get everything shut down, anyway. Just don’t fall asleep on me here. I do not feel like draggingyou all the way inside.”

~~~

Jason felt more relieved than he cared to admit that by inside, Leo meant the Hephaestus cabin and not taking him back to the Zeus cabin he’d avoided sleeping in for the past few days. Partially because he really didn’t feel like being scrutinized by his father’s statue now any more than he had a few hours ago, and partially because even after the full fifteen minutes of break he’d gotten while Leo took care of things at the forge, he genuinely wasn’t sure he could have made it all the way there.

He was exhausted and dizzy, and it was obvious enough that Leo kept anxiously joking about handing over his crutches.

The rain had stopped just as abruptly as it had started, but the cold wind didn’t seem to be going anywhere. In his infinite, severely addled wisdom, Jason tried to get it to die down himself, but all that achieved was almost making him black out on the spot, and the wind just seemed to target him more viciously afterwards.

It was a fairly short walk, but by the time they got inside Jason felt like an icicle all over again, despite Leo’s attempts to stay close and radiate warmth the whole way.

Leo had a nice room—cluttered and cozy and without any looming statues of his father standing over him as he slept. The walls were plastered with blueprints, written-on and covered in sticky notes. There were several layers of them, and even the top layer ones were partially covering each other because Leo had run out of space. In a few spots, pictures of their friends poked out from under the rolled-up edges of blueprints or had been pinned neatly to those that weren’t currently in use. The bedside table was a mess of several unfinished projects, and it was kind of a miracle it hadn’t broken down under the weight yet.

Jason liked being here. It was one of the few places in camp that actually felt private. 

All the clutter had made him anxious at first. Even without his memories, he hadn’t been able to shake the Roman discipline that had been trained into him since early childhood.

But being around Leo meant chaos, and Jason had learned that was a good thing, more often than not. There was a kind of chaos that was terrifying, and there was a kind that made him feel alive, thrumming heartbeat and all. This kind of chaos was homey and lived-in and welcoming, in a way the Zeus cabin could never be. It didn’t feel like Jason had to carve out a space for himself here. It was already there—provided he didn’t mind accidentally sitting on a wrench every now and again.

The bed was small, which meant every time they had a movie night, they were squeezed tightly next to each other. Which, looking back on it, was maybe part of the reason they’d had so many of those even before they’d started dating. 

Right now, Jason was mostly just relieved to be sitting down. The world grew a little less hazy.

“You want tea or something to get warmed up? I’d offer you cocoa, but I don’t think there’s enough sugar at camp for the amount you usually put in there,” Leo teased, sitting down next to him.

Jason immediately melted back into him, wrapping his arms around Leo’s back and pressing his face to his boyfriend’s warm cheek. 

“Sure, or you could go ahead and leech all my warmth without asking,” Leo laughed, upping his body temperature a bit more. “Is this good? Anything else you need from me or am I fully replaceable by a portable heater?” 

“You’re perfect. I love you.” 

It felt impossible how easy that was to say, considering it was only the second time, and Jason hadn’t even said it out loud the first time.

Leo’s body temperature went up more, like a full body blush. Not that Jason was complaining.

“Flirting with a heater is a little weird, Superman,” Leo joked. “But hey, you didn’t even make any typos this time.”

“In my defense, I’m both dyslexic and suck at Morse code,” Jason laughed. He was pretty sure he was smiling like an idiot. He was also pretty sure he didn’t care. “Besides, you liked it.”

“You wish,” Leo replied, soft and fond. He shifted so he could wrap his warm arms around Jason again. “Love you, too.”

Leo had tapped out the words against the table at breakfast absent-mindedly a week and a half ago. Jason hadn’t understood what it meant, just that it was probably Morse code, and Leo had refused to tell him when asked, but he’d blushed so furiously that his head ended up on fire, which got the message across, anyway.

Jason had IMed Annabeth after and asked her to teach him, then practiced for three days because he really wanted to get it right.

He’d still managed to mess up at the end because he’d gotten nervous, spelling out “kof” instead of “you”, but he hadn’t had time to feel embarrassed about it. Leo had looked at him, wide-eyed, then beamed at him like he was the sun and kissed him, only stopping when he realized he was starting to burn a handprint into Jason’s shirt. 

Maybe it had been too soon by regular mortal standards—Jason never could figure those things out, it wasn’t like he’d ever had much of a shot at a normal life—but demigod lives were short and they’d both already had one brush with death. Some things just weren’t worth the risk of waiting.

“Sorry for dragging so much mud into your room, by the way,” Jason sighed, halfway muffled by Leo’s warm shoulder.

His boyfriend snorted. “Oh yeah, because we both know I’m infamous for my clean room and even cleaner clothes. I’m basically obligated to break up with you now.” He gestured at the general chaos of the room, then down at himself, covered in oil and soot where he hadn’t absorbed Jason’s dried mud. “Pretty sure we both need a shower, but you don’t look like you’re getting back up. I can at least steal you some clean clothes from one of my siblings, since unfortunately I do actually have to shower before bed.”

“That can't wait until tomorrow?” Jason asked, not wanting to let go.

Leo sighed. “I wish. There are some unfortunate downsides to getting your leg chewed off—yeah, I know, who’d’ve thought. One of them is that if I try to skip my evening routine or shower in the morning, my stump is going to be a whiny nightmare about it.” He rolled his eyes. “Turns out I can set the whole thing on fire and that’s fine, but sometimes I’ll have swelling issues over warm water—because that makes sense. It would be kind of funny if it wasn’t so annoying.”

“Trials and tribulations of being a demigod,” Jason replied, trying to keep the mood light, because even with his brain full of fog, he knew Leo, and knew he still got anxious talking about this. “We should really get our money back.”

Hell, Jason felt like a terrible boyfriend for all the things he didn’t know Leo had to do differently since he’d lost part of his leg, but the only tidbits of information Leo had volunteered were shared through jokes, and pushing him when he wasn’t ready wouldn’t have been fair orproductive, no matter how much Jason wanted to help.

“Yeah, tell me about it. But whatever. I’ll get the hang of it eventually.” Leo smiled at him. “I have to make sure you’re properly warmed up before I leave, though. You gonna be alright here on your own? Need me to tuck you in?” It was only half-teasing.

Jason just sighed and let his head drop back onto his boyfriend’s warm shoulder.

~~~

Jason missed Leo’s warmth immediately. He changed into the borrowed pajamas his boyfriend had tossed at him on his way out, which took way longer than he cared to admit. Then he curled up under the blanket. He was immediately hit with an overwhelming sense of exhaustion, the heaviness in his limbs growing worse now that he was lying down. His head hurt.

He changed positions several times, pulling the blanket tighter around himself, but it didn’t really help.

He stared at the ceiling and tried to get his mind to stop racing. Despite how tired he was, sleep seemed impossible. Since getting back, it was like he’d been waiting for the next thing to go awry, keeping himself busy so he couldn’t think too much about whatever that next thing would be. At night, these thoughts were much harder to push away.

He should have been used to them by now, but he couldn’t deal with the nightmares, either. Lately, he’d had so many where all he could ever seem to do was watch. Watch as people got hurt and died around him during the battle of Mount Othrys. Watch Reyna fall several meters down the side of a mountain, unable to catch her because he couldn’t waste the opening she’d given him against Krios. Watch as a fight broke out between both Camps he called home, unable to stop it. Watch as they were nearly overrun by monsters because he wasn’t Roman enough for the undead legion to consider him a leader. Watch Leo turn himself into an inferno to stop Gaia, unsure if there would be anything left of him to revive.

Some hero he was.

Gaia was gone. Jason wasn’t having visions of terrible things that would happen in the future. But he didn’t feel calm or peaceful. He’d spent so much of his life fighting that he wasn’t sure he’d ever known what being at peace felt like.

Time seemed to pass in slow motion. Jason tried not to think, which was about as successful as one might expect.

By the time Leo got back, he’d worked himself into such an anxiety frenzy that when Leo flopped down on the bed, Jason accidentally gave him an electric shock.

“Ow! You don’t need to take the Sparky nickname so literally, you know.” The mattress moved next to Jason, and he briefly wondered if Leo had decided it wasn’t worth the risk of actually sharing the bed and was getting back up, but then his boyfriend’s hand was moving soothingly up and down his arm. “You good?”

“Yeah. Sorry. Still a little cold, but not sure what that was for.”

In another pointless attempt to get comfortable, Jason had moved to face the wall, so he was currently staring intently at blueprints for some sort of multi-functional weapon—a two-handed sword that could be transformed into a large shield, by the looks of it—instead of looking at Leo. It felt easier that way. If he’d been facing his boyfriend, Leo would probably be able to see how close he was to having a nervous breakdown, and then Jason would have to explain, and he didn’t want to explain. He didn’t want to make himself an even bigger burden than he already was. 

Jason was supposed to be a leader, for gods’ sake. He’d been in this life so much longer than anyone else he knew. He was supposed to be able to handle these things.

“Well, luckily for you, cold is something I’m an expert at fixing,” Leo announced, squeezing his shoulder. “Now scoot over, you’re hogging like three-quarters of my bed.”

It took Jason an embarrassing amount of effort to move. His limbs felt like they were made out of celestial bronze. Once he’d semi-successfully managed it, Leo wrapped around him, which made the effort more than worth it. 

Jason could feel himself trembling against his boyfriend’s warmth. He knew it was more than just the cold—his anxiety made him feel just about ready to vibrate out of his skin. But he closed his eyes and tried to focus on Leo’s breaths, the way his chest rose and fell against his back, and it helped him get a handle on his own breathing. That was good. He really didn’t want to give Leo another shock by accident.

“You sure you’re okay?” Leo asked quietly. He sounded worried. Jason hated making him worry.

He was going to reply, but instead he just burst into another coughing fit, which wasn’t quite the answer he’d wanted to give.

“Sorry. Stupid question.” Leo moved his arm away from Jason’s chest. “You want me to wake Will? Oh, or I could get Kayla. Her sleep schedule is pretty shitty. She might still be up.”

“How do you even know that?”

“Amputee privileges. I spend so much time in the infirmary that I get inside scoop.” Jason could hear the grin in his boyfriend’s voice. “So, you know, might as well abuse those privileges for your sake while I’m at it.”

“No, that’s okay.” Jason took the arm Leo had been moving and pulled it back to its previous spot. “I think I just want to sleep.”

“Fine.” Leo moved his head, adjusting it against the back of Jason’s neck. His curls tickled a little. “I’m warning you, though, if you get any worse, I’m contractually obligated to drag you to the infirmary. If you have an issue with that, that’s on you for not reading the boyfriend fine print.”

Jason snorted. “You’re terrible.”

“I live to annoy and be your personal heat lamp, in that order.” Leo squeezed Jason’s hand. “Speaking of, is this okay? I could go warmer, but you’re not as cold as earlier, and I should probably save some of my hotness for daytime hours.”

“It’s perfect.”

Sleep came impossibly easy, with Leo wrapped around him like this, radiating warmth. 

And even more impossibly, for once Jason didn’t dream.

~~~

Jason woke up feeling worse. His throat felt like someone had sandblasted it, his head hurt like hell and he was exhausted, despite having slept for most of the night.

Right. Nothing a little ambrosia couldn‘t fix.

He blinked a few times, taking in his surroundings in utter confusion. He was lying on his back. He distantly remembered waking at one point throughout the night to find Leo sprawled halfway across him, but the comforting weight was gone from his chest now.

The bed had folded back out of Leo’s tiny room into the bigger Hephaestus cabin, which was currently pretty much deserted, except for Leo and, for some reason, Will Solace, who was standing next to the bed with a breakfast tray.

“Huh?” Jason rubbed at his eyes, trying to make sense of the scene through the haze in his head. Light streamed in through the windows, much too bright for the early morning wake-up time Jason had rarely been able to shake due to his childhood at Camp Jupiter. “What time is it?”

His raw throat didn’t really like him speaking very much.

“You slept through breakfast. Not too surprising, considering you look about as alive as you did the time you got incinerated by Hera and you spent like half the night-” Leo paused, wincing when Jason burst into a coughing fit. He moved to sit next to him on the bed and pat his arm gently, which did absolutely nothing except feel kind of nice. “-doing exactly that.”

“Okay, but what’s with the food?” Jason asked once his body would let him, gesturing vaguely in the direction of Will, who was setting down the tray on the weirdly empty bedside table.

“I spent about an hour making a mess of Chiron’s kitchen to cook you something. Sick people privileges and stuff. If anyone asks about broken mugs in the next few days, play dumb.” Leo was clearly going for careless nonchalance, but Jason could hear a twinge of annoyance in his voice. “Crutches are seriously inconvenient sometimes.”

“I had to have a conversation with him about pushing himself beyond his recovery timeline and trying to carry things around without his crutches while we’re still working on his balance,” Will commented, glaring at Leo in the worried doctor way that all Apollo kids seemed to inherit. “Especially when it made sense for me to come along to check on you, anyway.”

“You okay?” Jason asked worriedly, squeezing his boyfriend’s hand. Leo felt kind of cold, which would have been alarming, except Jason wasn’t sure how much of that was his own body being seriously out of whack.

“Nope, nice try, but I’m the one fussing over you right now. Speaking of-” Leo turned back to Will, whose expression had softened, “I’m shit at normal human body temperatures, being the fire guy and all, but I’m pretty sure he’s running a fever.”

“Yeah, I’m absolutely putting him on bed rest,” Will said, pressing a hand to Jason’s face.

Unlike Leo’s, Will’s hand was icy. Jason shivered and tried to pull away.

“Cold.”

“No, not even a little cold. Leo’s right about the fever,” Will concluded, thankfully removing his freezing hand from Jason’s face. “Flu. Nothing a few days of rest won’t fix, but I’ll get you something to help with the cough.”

Jason opened his mouth to protest—there were things to be done, he couldn’t just leave everyone else to do all the work, especially not for several days—but the only thing he managed was another lengthy, painful coughing fit.

“Hey look, even your body could tell you were about to say something stupid,” Leo teased, doing a terrible job of hiding the concern on his face. “You wanna try and at least drink something to make your throat feel a little less like shit? I get it if you're not hungry. I wasn’t sure what you’d feel like having, so I… may have gone a little overboard.”

He was seriously underselling it. He’d brought water and tea and orange juice. Food-wise, there was a plate of cut-up fruit, plain toast, scrambled eggs and some sort of soup that was still steaming and smelled great.

Jason’s throat went tight.

“You didn’t have to do that.”

“Yeah, yeah, I know, but just making food appear out of thin air felt like cheating, and I’m not gonna start half-assing the boyfriend thing already. I haven’t even had the job for that long. It’s too soon for me to start slacking off.”

“I’m not really hungry, but water sounds okay. The food looks amazing, though. I’ll eat something in a bit,” Jason promised, struggling to find the words to express just how grateful he was that Leo would do this for him. He moved to sit up. “It’s already pretty late, and I said I’d help with the roofing, so I should just take a bit of ambrosia and get on that. With how much it rained last night-”

The world tilted horribly, and if it hadn’t been for Leo reaching out to steady him, Jason was pretty sure he would’ve toppled sideways off the bed.

“Sometimes I know exactly why you’re friends with Nico.” Will may have been terribly blurry, but Jason could still tell he had one hand pressed to his forehead in annoyance. “Ambrosia is for missions and emergencies. You not wanting to let yourself rest is not an emergency. I can give you a bit to help manage the symptoms, but you still need to take a few days off and give your body a break. You’re exhausted. The ambrosia won’t fix that.”

“I can still do this,” Jason insisted, trying to fight the growing panic in his chest. He had to earn his place here. He had to contribute. He’d known since he was a young child that showing weakness was a mistake he couldn’t afford to make. “I need to do this.”

He moved towards the edge of the bed, vertigo be damned, and it took a tremendous effort to untangle himself from the blankets. For a moment he thought his glasses were fogging up at the edges—then he remembered he’d left his glasses in the Zeus cabin yesterday. The thing going foggy was his eyesight.

It didn’t matter. He needed to get up.

Before he could try, his boyfriend’s arms wrapped around him from the side.

“Hey, Superman, that’s enough.” Leo didn’t sound like this a lot—strict and decisive and genuinely a little mad. It made Jason stop in his tracks. “Camp won’t fall apart if you don’t work yourself half to death for a few days. I’ve been dead, okay? It’s seriously overrated, trust me.”

“But-”

“Jase, look at me. Breathe. You’re okay.” Leo’s voice had softened. One arm was still wrapped around Jason. The other had moved up to his head, fingers combing through his damp hair. “Stop being an idiot and don’t force your amputee boyfriend to figure out how to scrape you off the floor after you inevitably faint and hit your head, yeah?”

Leo looked terribly worried, and Jason knew he was actively making it worse. It made him feel awful. 

After another moment of hesitation, he allowed himself to collapse against his boyfriend, exhausted and dizzy and with a horrible ache in his chest. “I’m sorry.”

Leo exhaled audibly into his hair.

“Yeah, I can’t believe you’d get sick on purpose just to make me worry. That was such a dick move, dude,” he said sarcastically, then pressed a kiss to Jason’s head. “Lie back down, please?”

A part of Jason was still protesting, but he felt incredibly off and it was impossible to tell Leo “no” when he looked at him like that.

He let himself sink back onto the mattress, which at least made the room stop spinning.

“Happy now?”

“Yeah, yeah, gold star for not being a complete dumbass.” Jason could hear the smile in his voice. “Do you want a sticker or something?”

“Can you just put your hand back in my hair? That felt really nice.”

“Still here by the way,” Will said awkwardly, and Jason could feel his cheeks growing even warmer because he actually had forgotten about Will. “Doesn’t look like I’m needed anymore, though. I’ll go grab some meds.” He turned to Leo. “Make sure Jason drinks enough water and gets some sleep and he should be fine.”

“Oh, I’ll pester him as much as necessary, don’t worry. You know how annoying I can get.” Leo grinned. “Thanks for the help.”

“If you need anything else, you know where to find me.”

~~~

The bits of ambrosia Jason got still tasted like Leo’s tacos, and like Will had warned, they didn’t magically fix everything.

“If I give you any more, you’ll just try to help and hurt yourself, and then we’ll end up right back here.”

That seemed like a fair enough point, but Jason still didn’t like it. It was hard to convince his brain it was actually okay to let himself rest. When you’d learnt at two years old that showing weakness would get you killed, telling yourself it was fine and safe and nothing bad would happen to you in this specific instance and actually believing that was hard. Hell, his last stab wound had helpfully sorted itself out when he’d recklessly thrown himself into battle despite feeling like death. Keeping himself up and running was safe. This did not feel safe.

And sure, there was a protocol for handling illness and injuries at Camp Jupiter that usually included mandated rest periods. But when everyone looked up to you, expecting you to be the leader, it was hard to figure out where to draw the line. At which point was he objectively bad enough to neglect his duties?

As long as he could stand upright, it was probably fine. When he couldn’t, he’d just nibble on an ambrosia cube until he could. When that didn’t work, he was probably dead and no longer needed to worry about it.

Right now, he wasn’t dead or even dying, and so it didn't feel like a reasonable excuse to neglect his duties for something as stupid as staying in bed and doing nothing—even with Leo there to pester him and make jokes and offer him home-cooked meals that could be warmed up at a flick of his wrist.

It didn’t feel real to Jason that he was just allowed to have this.

If nothing else, since he’d taken the ambrosia he could at least sit up without feeling like he was about to topple off the bed, which meant Leo was currently pestering him into finishing his glass of water.

Jason was only half-listening, his mind continuously wandering back to all the things he should be doing instead of this.

“I can hear you thinking, Superman. It’s loud and very annoying.” Leo ruffled his hair. “Talk to me? We did say we’d give it a shot, but we’re both still kind of garbage at it.”

“I really feel like I should be up and helping,” Jason sighed. He was glad to be able to manage a full sentence without bursting into another coughing fit, but talking still hurt. “At least check on the temples to make sure nothing got damaged last night.”

“Nope. Wrong answer. Immediately disqualified.” Leo made a noise that was obviously supposed to resemble the sound of an incorrect buzzer on a quiz show, though it sounded like someone had kicked the poor buzzer down the stairs instead of pressing it. “The only thing you’re supposed to be doing right now is resting, and you’re doing a terrible job. You’ve basically been non-stop doing things since we finished dealing with Gaia. The temples, now this project… I know I’m one to talk, but you need a vacation or something.” Leo smirked. “I hear Greece is really nice this time of year.”

“Oh yeah, I’d love to spend all of our first vacation as a couple trying not to get killed.”

“You say that like trying not to get killed isn’t the foundation of this relationship,” Leo teased him. “But Greece or otherwise, you’re not talking yourself out of this vacation. Take it from the resident expert on running: you’ve got a tendency to keep yourself running when you shouldn’t, and you really need to stop.”

“Didn’t you tell me you were an expert at sticking around at one point?” Jason asked, raising an eyebrow.

“I can’t believe you remember that,” Leo said, laughing, like it was absurd that that moment had meant enough to Jason for him to remember it. Like Jason hadn’t built his life around the fact that his mom had promised to come back and left him instead. Like Leo, who had been runningand running and running for most of his life, hadn’t seen the fear in his eyes and chosen to stay.

“Of course I remember,” Jason said softly.

Leo gulped, clearly emotional, but then he immediately shifted back into his joke default. 

“Damn it. Should have known you keep a folder of quotes to throw back at me at the right moment. You’re exactly the type of nerd who has folders on everything.” He shook his head. “To answer your question: I’ve got layers, babe. I have to keep you on your toes somehow.” 

“I thought the point of this was to get me to rest? Isn’t that the opposite of keeping me on my toes?”

“You’re lucky I like you as much as I do.” Leo rolled his eyes, but then he smiled at Jason. “I’ll let you in on a little secret: I was trying to be supportive and also full of shit. I’m getting better at the sticking around thing, though. You can blame yourself and Piper for that one. Fourteen year old Leo would be quaking in his boots.”

It was more sincere than Leo usually was, and Jason really did feel lucky.

“Fourteen year old me would also be pretty shocked if he could see me now,” Jason admitted quietly. “He never slept past six am. He was also never this happy.”

“Six am?” Leo’s eyes bugged out of his head. “Is that standard for Camp Jupiter? Gods, no wonder Reyna is always so cranky.”

Jason laughed, which rapidly dissolved into another coughing fit. Laughing was still out, then. That was really unfortunate considering his boyfriend was right there.

“I think you’d like Reyna if you gave her an actual shot. There’s a reason we were best friends for years.” Their relationship had never quite gone back to what it had been before the whole memory wipe kidnapping incident, but Jason was back to being friends with Reyna, and he was glad for that. “Are you still scared of her?”

“Not as much. Piper’s trying exposure therapy. The results are so-so, but at least I don’t think she wants to kill me anymore,” Leo joked. Then he shoved the half-full glass of water back into Jason’s face. “Speaking of ways to prevent death: I’m supposed to keep you from getting dehydrated. Bottoms up!”

Jason sighed, but his throat still hurt, even if it did feel a little less sandpapered than before, and the water helped.

What it didn’t help with was the exhaustion—this ridiculous, inconvenient feeling of wanting to just curl up against Leo and let himself go unconscious. He may have been significantly less dizzy, but he still went between random flashes of feeling too warm and too cold and sometimes both at once.

“It’s fine if you want to go back to sleep, you know,” Leo said like he’d read his mind—or, more likely, Jason’s bone-deep exhaustion was just written all over his face. He took the empty glass and placed it back down on the bedside table. “I may be terrible at going to bed at reasonable hours, and sleep gets a general 5/10 from me because of all the nightmares, but unfortunately, it is important, especially when you’re sick. I don’t mind just sitting with you for a while.”

“If you’re staying with me, we should at least do something together,” Jason protested. “This isn’t exactly fun for you. I don’t want to just sleep and waste a whole bunch of your time.”

“You’re overestimating your influence, Superman. I have ADHD. I can waste my own time just fine without your help.” Leo smiled down at him, running his hand through Jason’s hair again. Jason closed his eyes and leaned into the movement. “Besides, we both know I’m the fun one in this relationship. Your job is more, like, mother henning so I occasionally go to bed before two am and actually remember to eat lunch instead of just disappearing down the project void for three days.”

“Shut up,” Jason laughed, which rapidly turned into another coughing fit. Gods, usually he loved how much Leo made him laugh, but it was a little inconvenient right now.

“See? Clearly, I’m the fun one. Now stop being ridiculous and just go back to sleep.”

Jason wanted to protest again, but his thoughts were turning to mush. His head was on Leo’s lap, and Leo was so, so warm that anything coherent he tried to grasp at drifted away before he could form even half a sentence. That just felt like cheating on Leo’s part.

Being sick still didn’t feel safe to Jason. This whole situation of him letting himself rest didn’t feel safe or right or like something he should be allowed to do.

But he knew so instinctively that Leo would never let anything happen to him that it was hard to feel anything but safe with him. With Leo there, Jason always felt like everything was going to be alright.

————————————————————————

Leo was pretty sure he was failing as a boyfriend. 

The thing was, Leo was kind of garbage at taking care of people. He knew that wasn’t entirely his fault—no one had properly taken care of him when he was sick since he was eight years old, and just crawling under the bedsheets hoping his foster parents didn’t realize he was sick or finding himself a slightly less drafty bridge to sleep under weren’t exactly great precedents to base your care for someone else on.

But knowing that didn’t help. Jason was great with stuff like this. He knew how to calm Leo down when he was freaking out, made him cocoa in the middle of the night and had made sure Leo didn’t go stir-crazy when he’d been stuck in the infirmary for more than a week after the Gaia fight. That Leo was fucking terrible at it and he didn’t feel like he could properly help Jason in return made him feel like shit.

After his boyfriend had dozed off the night before, Leo had realized very quickly that he absolutely should have dragged him to the infirmary—or at least he should have broken in and stolen a few ambrosia cubes. Leo hadn’t really slept much. Jason had spent the whole night sweating and shivering against him, coughing so badly that Leo had been worried one of his lungs might come up, but he hadn’t been able to wake Jason when he tried, and physically hadn’t been able to leave the bed until sometime this morning. Every time he’d tried to pull his arm away from Jason’s chest, Jason had made a half-asleep whining noise and pulled it back, until eventually, he’d turned onto his back and wrapped fully around Leo, pinning him in place like a misbehaving pup. 

It would have been hilarious if it hadn’t been so inconvenient.

Austin had been the only Apollo cabin member up when Leo had gotten there, and Leo hadbothered him into checking on Jason, but Austin’s powers were more concentrated in the musical than the healing range. He’d mainly concluded that Jason wouldn’t die and advised Leo to let him sleep for a while longer and ask Will to check in later if it didn’t get better.

Leo had then proceeded to waste most of the morning trying to figure out how to cheer Jason up.

He’d gotten a whole bunch of unhelpful advice from his friends, both in-person and via Iris Message. Reyna had said she liked to be left alone, and had absolutely no advice to offer in regards to what Jason usually did or needed when he was sick. She actually couldn’t remember him ever being sick in all the time she’d known him, which said some concerning things about the amount of off time he usually allowed himself to take.

Piper had said her dad used to tell her stories to make her feel better when she’d been little, which would have been helpful if Jason had been five. She’d also confirmed Jason was a terrible patient, which, considering he’d tossed himself into the ocean with a life-threatening stab wound at one point, didn’t take a genius to figure out.

Because Piper was just like that, she’d pointed out that Leo wasn’t much better, which, while not technically untrue, wasn’t exactly helpful advice, either.

Annabeth had said she didn’t get sick, which Percy side-eyed her for, and then she’d admitted she just liked knowing someone was there. Doing what, exactly? Who knew.

Percy was the only one who’d said something Leo could actually use: that his mom usually cooked something he liked to cheer him up. 

Leo could do cooking. 

So, as per Austin’s expert advice, he’d let Jason sleep, and after breakfast, he’d gotten to work in the kitchen.

Leo liked being in the kitchen of the big house, usually. Cooking relaxed him.

But he hadn’t done a whole lot of it since he’d lost his leg, and navigating the kitchen with his crutches had turned out to be a bigger issue than he’d expected. Carrying things around was fine if they were in closed boxes or bags, but carrying a mug with liquid? Yeah, nope, not happening.

But, after some mishaps, he’d found workarounds. He’d gone completely overboard because he wasn’t sure what Jason would actually feel like eating. It wasn’t like he didn’t know some of the things Jason liked, but none of the ones that came to mind exactly screamed sick person comfort foods to Leo.

He’d made a cup of that terrible herbal tea Jason liked for some reason, and a whole bunch of small things like cut fruits and dry toast. Leo had even tried to recreate the chicken pozole he remembered his own mom had sometimes made when he wasn’t feeling well. The memory made his heart clench in his chest, but he felt like he had to at least try.

There hadn’t been any major disasters during the actual cooking process. The main problem came after, when Leo realized he hadn’t really thought through how he’d get the food back to the Hephaestus cabin. Carrying a tray with crutches was even less possible than carrying around mugs filled with liquid. 

So, well, Leo had chosen to just not use the crutches. He’d decided it was probably fine as long as he was careful. He could mostly walk around without crutches okay.

Admittedly, most of that walking had been without carrying anything heavy and with both Will and a wall readily available in case he needed to steady himself. And sure, they didn’t do these types of exercises for more than a few minutes at a time because Leo’s sense of balance was still shit. But he’d thought he could do this.

Will rushing up to him a few steps out of the building had been the only reason Leo and everything he was carrying hadn’t ended up all over the lawn.

“Leo, we talked about this,” Will had chided him, taking over carrying the tray.

He’d spent the whole walk to the cabin trying to talk Leo through recovery timelines, which Leo had tuned out after the second sentence.

Leo knew that stuff. He was painfully aware of the fact that it usually took over six months, sometimes up to a year, to be able to walk without crutches after an amputation. They’d talked through this in detail several times.

That didn’t mean he was thrilled about this fact.

Sure, Leo was making decent progress. And he was trying to be patient with himself.

But it had been months at this point, and he’d never been a particularly patient person, and that he was doing better didn’t mean he didn’t have days like today when he really wanted to hurl his crutches at a wall.

The other issue he was currently having was that his left leg hurt.

Leo was pretty sure he knew the cause of this—Will had told him he was supposed to regularly take the prosthesis off and check if the skin underneath was getting irritated, and also give his stump breaks throughout the day.

The thing was, Leo wasn’t great about this. Partially, this was because he got hyperfocused a lot when he was working on his little projects and he just forgot. Partially, this was also because he’d had two legs for sixteen years of his life, and even after three and a half months in this new situation, he still didn’t always remember that this wasn’t the case anymore. That part felt fucking idiotic, because most of the time he obviously did know and was unable to forget if he tried, but sometimes when he was especially sleep-deprived or intensely focused on something else, his brain just blocked out this particular part of reality. Having his prosthesis on when he worked late significantly reduced the risk of him trying to get up to fetch a tool and epically belly-flopping onto the floor of the forge in the process.

…okay, that one had been a one time occurrence and very early on, but still. Never again.

Nyssa and Jake hadn’t been weird about it—Nyssa had helped him sit up while Jake had gone to fetch Will, and both of them had the decency to never bring it up again. Leo still wanted to burn a hole into the floor from sheer embarrassment whenever he thought of it.

So, yeah, staying up as late as he had and keeping the prosthesis on the whole time, Leo was pretty sure he’d irritated the shit out of his stump, in ways his evening routine hadn’t been able to fix. Again. 

He should have probably gone to Will or Kayla about this. At the very least, he should have taken his prosthetic leg off and iced the painful spots a little. If it had been any other day, he probably would have.

He didn’t.

Instead, he let Jason nap on his lap for two hours, which surprisingly did not help his leg pain.

Leo should have been better about this, especially when Will had literally just given him a lecture about not pushing himself. But the only semi-useful thing Leo had managed to do so far was make Jason food, which Jason hadn’t even eaten because he wasn’t feeling well. 

So, yeah, fucking incredible work in the boyfriend department, Valdez.

The least he could do was let Jason sleep in a position he was obviously comfortable in, even if it was objectively only comfortable for one of them.

Aside from the pain, Leo didn’t really mind this situation very much. He spent an embarrassing amount of time just watching his boyfriend sleep like a complete weirdo. 

Despite the fact that Jason was still sweating and shivering under the blanket, and despite the fact that every time he coughed it was obvious that it hurt, he looked… almost peaceful. 

Jason wasn’t good at looking peaceful. Even asleep, it always seemed like he was one command away from jumping to his feet with his sword drawn. Almost was the closest he ever got.

And almost peaceful Jason was an image Leo really struggled to tear himself away from. It made him yearn for a future where maybe he’d get Jason all the way to actually peaceful, now that the end of the world wasn’t permanently hanging over their heads anymore. Leo imagined the machine shop he wanted, and getting to come home every night to a version of Jason that laughed easily and no longer remembered how to stand at attention.

Gods, Leo hadn’t even thought it possible to be this utterly gone for another person. A year ago, he hadn’t even thought he’d ever consider a place home again. Yet, here he was, just about a month into this relationship, thinking about living together. Talk about fucking u-hauling.

~~~

By the time Jason woke up, Leo had thankfully torn himself out of the kind of ridiculous fairytale futures that had always been reserved for other people and was fiddling with one of his little projects—an upgraded eye for Festus with a few extra sensors his current ones didn’t have.

Admittedly, Leo looking down at Jason might have been a slightly less disconcerting sight to wake up to than the giant metal eye that was currently staring down at him.

Jason yelped, and Leo was barely quick enough to move the large metal orb out of range before his boyfriend punched the spot of empty air where it had just been, nearly socking Leo on the jaw in the process.

“Whoa. Down, boy. No need to give me or Festus a black eye.” Leo dropped the eye on the floor next to the bed, then held his hands up defensively for extra effect. “This is mostly celestial bronze, anyway, so it’s not like you could do any real damage with your fists. It’s bad enough that you’re sick, we do not need to add broken fingers to the equation.”

Jason looked extremely startled. “Sorry. Oh gods, I’m so sorry. I thought- You okay?”

“You didn’t even actually hit me. Your uppercut needs work.” Leo gently flicked his boyfriend in the head. “Anyway, enough about me. How are you feeling?”

“A little better, I think.” This was followed immediately by another coughing fit. Leo raised an eyebrow. 

“You are the worst liar I know.” He ruffled Jason’s hair, since he seemed to really be enjoying that today. Note for future reference: sick Jason was like a dog that enjoyed getting petted. “You need anything?”

“Maybe water?” Jason shrugged. “I don’t know. Just if it’s not too much trouble.”

“Superman, I cooked for you for more than an hour this morning. I’ll survive a three second walk to the bathroom and back to fill up your cup.” Leo nudged him. “Besides, I’ve got a leg and a half that are super asleep right now. It’ll be nice to get up and stretch them for a bit.”

~~~

Despite this bold statement on Leo’s part, the short walk in question turned into a total disaster. 

Yeah, he could have made it to the bathroom and back without his crutches under most circumstances. He’d done that before.

But currently, his stupid stump was sore and hurt with every step and it turned out he could not manage.

He had to pause in the bathroom, the cup clenched in trembling fingers, which would have been embarrassing enough. But then it turned out he couldn’t make the way back at all.

The main issue wasn’t that the pain was so intense he couldn’t bear it—if it had been anything that serious, even Leo probably wouldn’t have been this much of a moron about it. The issue was that the fact that his steps stung kept throwing him off, and made Leo’s usually mediocre balance that Will had correctly pointed out they were still working on significantly worse.

Leo only made it about three quarters of the way back to his bed before he misstepped and fell, which was really just how this day was going. The main thoughts he had as he fell were annoyance and frustration directed at himself, as well as a distant relief that he’d had the presence of mind to take the plastic cup because at least that wouldn’t splinter.

Leo didn’t hit the floor. He was stopped mid-fall by first a strong gust of wind and then a pair of warm arms. 

Jason shouldn’t have been out of bed. He definitely shouldn’t have been using his powers. In the end, Jason’s immensely stupid rescue attempt just made them both crumple to the floor, right into the puddle of spilled water, though at a much slower speed than the one Leo had originally been going for.

“Are you okay?”

Leo wanted to say something funny, but he looked at his exhausted boyfriend who’d just wasted a bunch of his energy preventing him from getting hurt and just kind of started to cry. 

“Are you hurt? What’s wrong? Can I help?” Jason asked again, placing his hands on Leo’s shoulders. He sounded really alarmed, which just made Leo feel worse.

“I’m sorry I’m such garbage at this,” Leo sniffled. “You’re always so good with this stuff, but I can’t figure out how to help, and between my stupid crutches and my stupid leg hurting I can’t- I’m sorry I’ve been so useless.”

“Leo, what the hell are you talking about?” Jason looked something between concerned and seriously confused.

“I’m- my whole thing is that I know how to fix machines. But people? I don’t- I never know how to help when it comes to people. You’re not like Festus. I can’t just switch out your gears to make you feel better. I don’t know what I can do to make you feel better. What kind of awful boyfriend-”

“Stop.” Jason looked directly at him, eyes stormy. “You’ve been amazing. You are the best thing that’s ever happened to me, and I will not allow you to talk about yourself like this.”

“But-”

“No. Listen to me. If it wasn’t for you, I would have gone to help, and Will’s right, I probably would have ended up hurt. Most likely, I wouldn’t even have been upset about it, because that’s what I was raised to do. You said it yourself: I’m the prince of the universe. I’m supposed to take charge and get things done. It doesn’t matter if that doesn’t make me happy or if it isn’t good for me. That’s just who I have to be.” Jason’s voice cracked. “Everyone always expects me to be able to handle anything. But I’m not. You’re the only person who’s ever made me feel like it’s okay that I’m not.” 

“Oh,” was the only thing Leo could manage as Jason pulled him to his chest, holding him so gently that he could barely remember how to breathe.

And then they were both crying, adding to the stupid water puddle they were sitting in. They probably looked ridiculous. Leo didn’t care. Being wrapped in Jason’s arms like this immediately made him feel better.

“I can count the amount of times someone’s taken care of me on one hand, and that’s never involved another person sitting with me for hours and stroking my hair and cooking for me before. I almost burst into tears over a plate of cut fruit earlier,” Jason admitted quietly, gently nuzzling Leo’s neck. Gods, he still felt awfully warm. “But you don’t need to spend all day fussing, especially if you don’t feel great. It’s so nice to just have you here. I’ve been really anxious lately, and I just- all I ever wanted was for someone to stay.”

“Oh,” Leo repeated intelligently, his own voice cracking too. Damn it, that meant he’d have to tell Annabeth he should have taken her advice. She’d never let him live that down. “I can do that. I can stay.”

“Yeah, I know,” Jason sniffled. “But I don’t want you hurting yourself to help me, okay?”

“Says the guy who just almost made himself faint trying to catch me,” Leo commented, grimacing. “I hate to say it, but Piper was right when she said sometimes we’re the exact same brand of idiot. Let’s both try to work on that, yeah?”

Jason sighed. “Yeah. Okay.”

This left them with the issue of how to get back off the floor.

~~~

In the end, Piper rescued them, appearing out of thin air like Leo had fucking summoned her the second he’d admitted she was right.

She collected both of them off the floor, went to get Will, and also brought some of the self-refilling cups from lunch, which… yeah, Leo really should have thought of that. 

“You seem to have food covered for now,” she said, gesturing towards the tray of still untouched breakfast items on the bedside table.

Whether he liked it or not, Leo got his second Will Solace lecture of the day, this time with strict orders to rest and let his stump breathe for a while. He didn’t mind that too much—he’d felt absolutely zero desire to put the prosthesis back on since he’d finally taken it off.

Besides, being put on bed rest with Jason really wasn’t much of a punishment, aside from the fact that even sick, Jason still wouldn’t stop with his stupid mother henning.

“You literally said that was part of my boyfriend job description like three hours ago. You do not get to complain about it now,” Jason teased him, shoving Leo’s cup and another piece of toast in his direction.

Yeah, Leo really needed to find that folder of inconvenient quotes that could be used against him and burn it.

Jason was still garbage at letting himself rest, but it seemed to be easier for him now that he felt like he was doing something helpful—even if that something helpful was just bothering his boyfriend. Leo would have to write that down for future reference.

They shared the food Leo had made, and they talked. Jason told him why he’d been so anxious while Leo petted his head and offered to fist-fight Rachel the next time she tried to speak a prophecy. Leo finally went into some of his post-amputation problems, including but not limited to his occasional desire to hurl his crutches at the wall.

“Will probably has some old broken crutches you could actually throw. If you think that’d help, I’m sure he’d let you.”

“I’ll ask, but I’ll definitely tell him it was your idea.” Leo chuckled. “If Will keeps having to put up with us I think he’s gonna need a vacation too.”

“Maybe someone should tell him to just take a couple of days off with his boyfriend. This is actually really nice.” Jason didn’t kiss him, because he was a buzzkill and refused to get him sick, but he looked at Leo with such unbridled fondness that it was clear he wanted to. “I love you. You know that, right?”

“If you’re trying to quote Star Wars to me, you’re doing it wrong,” Leo joked, putting his head on Jason’s shoulder. “But yeah, I do know that. Love you, too.”

And well, spending the next few days like this, sharing meals and curled up next to each other watching movies and taking naps didn’t sound so bad, even if it did require Leo to be a little more honest about how he was feeling than usual.

He still wasn’t convinced they were lucky enough to have any kind of fairytale future, but currently the present wasn’t looking half bad.

———————

Some notes:

-Title is from Time by Gretta Ray. Shoutout to my friend Mal for putting up with me in the process of this fic, he’s never read the books and literally doesn’t even know who these people are.

Continuation of the point I made in Late Night Cocoa about Leo and Jason both being shit at voicing it when something is wrong with them! Jason’s been in charge for so long that not being okay has simply never felt like an option. Leo still isn’t entirely used to having people who care regardless of whether he’s currently being useful.

Being in a relationship does not magically fix all your issues! But they know each other and know how to lift each other up and it does really help.

Leo will not let Jason play the hero. Jason will not allow Leo to talk badly about himself ever. They’re just good for each other, full stop, and I love that for them.

Side note: I cannot believe I wrote a 10k established relationship fic and didn’t let them kiss on the lips once. That feels incredibly mean of me. I feel like now I need to write a date fic of some kind specifically to make it up to them, lol

This was my first time properly attempting Jason POV which was kind of scary but I think I ended up doing alright?

Anyway, thanks for reading! Comments and reblogs are always super, super appreciated.

@poppitron360

[plague-karm]

Right time to analyse this shit because god dammit I have been silently making theories about this show the second I saw the premise I’m about to become the most annoying person on the planet on god so LETS GOOOOOOO-

First things first the animation looks fucking phenomenal (let Kevin Temmer cook, that man can do no wrong). Also Caine the guy ever, he is the silly and I love him wholeheartedly, he’s just a fucked up little guy who’s living his best life fr.

And also NEW CHARACTER HELLO.

They do be circling though.

THE SILLIES ARE HERE LETS FUCKING GOOOOOOOO 🎉🎉🎉

Smiling Gangle spotted ten seconds before disaster, no thoughts head empty indeed.

ALSO I WASN’T EXPECTING STUFF OUTSIDE THE CIRCUS BUT IT’S A WELCOME SURPRISE WHOA

They have come to steal your credit card information.

The thoughts I had of Ragatha being the lone brain cell keeping everything together were completely correct I CALLED IT- (it has been said by Gooseworx that she has been there the second longest so she’s probably gotten used to the zaniness by now…maybe)

A door that leads to a void?

Maybe it has something to do with this room in the teaser trailer? Possibly.

Tumblr sexyman spotted.

''If there was a way to leave I'm sure we'd have all left by now''

They're ✨suffering✨

This caught me off guard when I first saw it lmao (holy FUCK I love Zooble's design, they're everything to me).

''Welcome to your new home...AND your new body...''

So they're aware that they were human before they entered the circus? That's interesting considering what happens in a few seconds (I'll get to that soon). It's also worth mentioning that Gooseworx has stated that their clothes ARE a part of their bodies.

Case in point...

At the end of the character introduction compilation Gooseworx posted to their YouTube channel Pomni is heard saying something along the lines of

''How do I...take this...headset off?!''

I saw a few people theorizing about her talking about a VR headset and that was how she entered the circus to begin with (I had the same thoughts until very recently). However, considering how much of the visuals and character designs are based on old media (also a teaser image was set up as the menu screen for a retro game), I'm beginning to think that this isn't the case.

So it's incredibly likely that Pomni is actually talking about her jester headpiece since she can't take it off.

This scene is probably the first time Pomni sees her new body, pinwheel eyes and all.

''I'm fine with whatever, as long as I get to see funny things happen to people''

I love him he's so unbothered.

I'm sad that we didn't get to hear any dialogue from them but I can't wait to see them in the pilot! Kinger is love, Kinger is life.

''After a while you start to realise that you really can't leave, and constantly chasing an unattainable goal will start driving you a little crazy''

She's a little fucked up actually wow who saw that coming.

It sounds like Ragatha tried to leave a few times and just resigned to her fate after a while, her description DID say that she was the ''sweetest little optimist in the digital circus'', so maybe she's told the others that escaping is impossible and that they should make the best of their situation instead? (Also the framed picture of the right looks like some kind of void, a lot of void imagery here).

Also, Gooseworx released this image a short while ago and it has the same background that Ragatha had while she was talking so she's DEFINITELY talking to Pomni here.

''OH GOD! WHY CAN'T I REMEMBER MY NAME?!''

EXCUSE ME? Okay time for some more speculation. I knew that their names definitely weren't their real ones but I wasn't expecting them to forget them!

Now, since the premise is said to be centred around Pomni and the others getting messed with by AI and their traumas, maybe instead of forgetting what their names were, they actually REPRESSED their memories from when they were human due to the trauma they went through? (Which would include their names)

I don't buy that they've COMPLETELY forgotten who they were (Zooble is aware that the body they're in isn't the one they used to have so I'm guessing everyone else knows that too.)

I'm guessing that their human lives absolutely SUCKED and they've now repressed their trauma to the point where they can barely remember who they were in the human world, this is just speculation.

''Thank goodness this is all a dream, right Pomni?''

What a sassy little guy (it's so weird hearing Michael Kovach sound so reserved, he's normally feral as hell playing these kinds of characters). The little mannequin symbol on the door is probably there for when new people stumble into the circus.

She's definitely seen some shit, I wonder what it could be though?

OH MY GOD THERE'S MORE OF THEM 😭

Wow this background looks...oddly normal. The only thing I can think of this being is Pomni witnessing a flashback of her human life before she showed up in the circus.

''You completely lose sight of who you are and why you're even alive and when you reach your breaking point something REALLY terrible can happen''

OH? Okay speculation time again. This is the closest hint we've gotten to what exactly one of the gang's traumas could be. Ragatha may have forced herself to stay positive in really shitty situations during her human life which likely lead to a lot of negative thoughts which eventually lead to her doing...something, I'm not sure what though, maybe it lead to her losing an eye? (Maybe her new body represents that?) I'm not sure. Maybe this is why she's been in the circus for as long as she has, instead of dealing with her feelings and existentialism, she instead continues to try to be someone who's more adjusted than they actually are.

Again, this is all just speculation, maybe it's just an Infinity Train type of thing where they can't leave until they learn to accept what they went through and how to work through it healthily idk.

WHAT THE HELL IS THAT? Well, I'll tell you what I think it is.

I think it's this weird tar like tentacle thing from the teaser trailer, I don't see what else it could be.

And I'm 90% sure that whatever it is, it's connected to this room, and I think that THIS is gonna be where we'll be seeing what the gangs traumas are (Ragatha looked TERRIFIED when she was grabbed so if this was the case I wouldn't be surprised). I'd also like to speculate that this could possibly be another AI. There's Caine, Bubble, and whatever the hell those little shape creatures are, so it's very likely that other AI does exist, we just haven't seen them yet.

But who knows? I'm probably looking too much into it.

Woah new background, he is angy.

I would go into another theory I have about how their designs may hint at what trauma they have but I've spent over an hour writing, compiling trailer screenshots, and speculating every individual frame while suffering with chest pains I wanna go to bed

Holy shit that took WAY longer than I thought it would. I cannot WAIT to watch the pilot, this show has become one of my most anticipated projects of the year over the last few months and I can't wait to see what it has in store.

TL;DR: The trailer looks fire 10/10 can't wait for the inevitable Pomni plushes.

[justcallmenikki7]

Hi, it’s Nikki.

I’m writing this to give you all, the ones who are still here even tho I’ve been basically hiatus for a while now, with some posts here and there. You probably all, also, saw this coming, but I’m sadly done writing.

God, im crying lmao.

Anyways, I realized after constantly trying to write something, outline, everything, I couldn’t write anymore. Maybe it’s because I went through a severe abusive relationship at the beginning of April 2022 to the end of November of 2022, and it completely changed me as a person. I lost a lot of love, likes, whatever you may call it, from that relationship. It changed me, and one of the things it changed in me was my love for writing. My spark isn’t here anymore, and I’ve been trying to hold on for the last possible year and a half for you guys, but it hasn’t happened. I’m afraid of change, I’m afraid of letting go, and have a bad time of accepting the fact that i mayve grown out of a phase, you know? My love for the boys will always be there, always.

What has also caused me lots of stress, and is a sign of losing my spark, has been trying to write and come up with ideas, and creat stories for those who have messaged me privately, and I feel terrible for not being able to do that, and I hate breaking promises/not keeping my word because I wanted to make you guys happy, and I’ve failed those individuals. I’m sorry for not finishing those requests, and I’m sorry that I never actually started them because I didn’t know what to do. I wanted to make you happy, but I couldn’t get anything out and so I sat for the longest time, trying to get a good paragraph, or in a general a sentence out, but i couldn’t and I didn’t.

And I’ve sadly relapsed the other night after almost 2 years of being clean from s/h. My depression has been in the dumps, and even tho I have so many positives going on in my life and such amazing people, and an amazing partner, my mental health is deteriorating and I need to focus on myself.

I know I’ve once done a short hiatus before and came back because sometimes a small break is good to have, but sometimes all things must come to an end, and I’m officially closing my chapter with tumblr and writing for good.

I’ve made a couple of friends on here, and those friends I want to address real quickly and say my peace.

@wickizer , girl you know everything and ily

@minniepetals . My gosh, I remember reading your story String of Fate when it first came out, and I swore up and down, still today I do, that it’ll be published in the hall of fame. Despite it being on its hiatus, it’s still the best story so far. You deserve an award for your writing, and your story Cry Me A River is such an amazing masterpiece. I’ve been meaning to read it all, but life has gotten in the way and I’m so proud of you. Even tho we haven’t talked in the longest time, I’m still cheering you on, on here and outside of tumblr.

@aft3rhrs . Love, you’re amazing and I hope you take care of yourself and take time for yourself. Self love and self kindness is a priority and make yourself a priority. Your writing is beautiful and I’m glad we befriended each other. I’m cheering you on, and always will. Thank you for being a kind person.

And every other writer that I bonded with on here, I love you and will be a huge cheerleader for you. To those who I reached out to when I was still new for advice, or for me to fangirl to, thank you for being kind and helpful.

And to my followers, the ones who cheered me on to keep writing when I first joined tumblr, thank you for being kind and supportive. I love each and every single one of you. You made this place a safe place for the longest time, and I’m thankful for all of you.

I’m sorry for the longest apology and me basically dumping my issues on here, I just needed to be honest with you all. I didn’t want this to sound like a ‘poor me’ ‘feel sorry for me’ but I needed to, like I said before, be honest with you.

This is scary for me, but this is me saying goodbye.

Love forever and always, justcallmenikki7.

[deedala]

✨WEEKLY TAG WEDNESDAY✨

thanks to @jrooc for the game this week and for tagging me + @creepkinginc @energievie @lingy910y @suzy-queued 💖

Hello beautiful kittens! 🐈‍⬛ Today’s tag game is about our wonderful fandom 😍

How did you get into the fandom? 

after falling deep into the shameless hellspiral i took to tumblr (as is my usual) to find gifs and memes and everything was so good and everyone was so wonderful i couldnt help but wedge my way into the community lmao

How long have you been here?

i started lurking september of 2022 and my first shameless post was in october of 2022 🥰

What’s the first fandom channel you found? (Youtube, Reddit, Tumblr, Insta, Twitter, FB, other?)

yeah tumblr i guess! my first instinct is always to search tumblr tags for a new thing i like 😌

what’s your favourite now? 

tumblr and discord equally, theyre both non-negotiable

Which mutual have you known the longest in the fandom?

@michellemisfit my beloved <3 ran into her in the @shamelesscreatorsnetwork discord (the first discord link i found) and we started talking and never shutted the fuck up ever again even until today lmao 🥰

Which tumblerino’s did you have your first fandom crush(es) on and want to get to know?

okay so since the first thing i seek out on a new interest is GIFS (and also shameless + text posts that shit absolutely sends me), the first people i followed and was so drawn to their immaculate vibes and gorgeous work were @gardenerian @heymacy and @sickness-health-all-that-shit biting you biting you biting you!!! 💖💖💖

First Gallavich fan fic you read (or that blew you away that you remember)

so michelle had me read redheaded step-children and it was so gorgeous and wonderful i was completely knocked on my ass by that one <3

and then i got the itch to read an AU and started with intro to quantum dating by @spoonfulstar and unless you're new here you are surely aware of how much i love that one 😂

First Fan art that blew your mind? 

i feel awful because i really cannot remember (crine) but pretty sure it was probably some gorgeous intricate @steorie painting

Fanfic trope that you were sure wasn’t for you but now you low key (or high key) love?

SPORTS AU - and now ive fully fucking lost my mind (@heymacy @too-schoolforcool know how deep it runs and i cannot even talk about it or i will throw up lmao)

What surprised you most about this fandom?

since my last significant foray into a fandom community was a pretty big fandom, there were looots of people who were just out for fucking blood. this community here on tumblr for shameless is a goddamn pillowfort, the vast majority of people are so sweet and supportive and happy to mind their own business it's such a fuckin breath of fresh air.

Moment in the show (or YT vids if you’re one of those) that you fell in hyperfixation with Gallavich?

i dont know if i can pinpoint just one moment? but probably one of the big moments early on since thats what would have kept me ravenous to keep consuming more lol

Ian or Mickey?

the fuck??? AAAAHHHHHHHHH uuhhhhh uuhmmmm omg. fuck. uh... okay...just... Mickey? no... Ian? uuhhhhmmm what was the question?

Which Gallagher or Milkovich are you? 

im gonna go with Debbie here <3

and now to tag some more folks in (in addition to everyone tagged above!!) if you want to play! if not, consider this me sending you cleansing brainwaves 🧠

@darlingian @heymrspatel @crossmydna @mybrainismelted @mmmichyyy @wehangout @metalheadmickey @gallawitchxx @thepupperino @blue-disco-lights @the-rat-wins @loftec @mickeysgaymom @rereadanon @callivich @lee-ow @palepinkgoat @gallapiech @transmickey @iansw0rld @captainjowl @howlinchickhowl @vintagelacerosette @sam-loves-seb @burninface @spookygingerr @mikhailoisbaby @themarchg1rl @whatwouldmickeydo @sleepyheadgallavich @sleepyfacetoughguy @samantitheos

💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖

[snowyroads]

Wait are you on TikTok? Also can’t wait to read your jealous fic

hehehe, yes🤗🤗 it’s @y2k_jungle (i made it before i made this but the name does say snowyroads!!!)

im not on there a lot tho 😔 (like tumblr is definitely my main posting platform) but i honestly made it because sometimes an edit idea will hit me and i have to post it lol😭😭 (i am unhinged on there too tho, dw😼)

AND THE FIC IS SLOWLY COOKING YALL!!! im literally done w the plot part, all im writing now is the actual smut LMAO😭😭 so that’s usually what takes me the longest to finish anyways. 🥲

but i probably won’t post it till after Thursday because this game coming up already has me stressed 😔😔 BUT SOON MY LITTLE FREAKS, SOON!!! 😼😼

(thank you sm anon for being excited!!! 🤭🤭💗💗💗)

[choicesficwriterscreations]

May Creator of the Month: Saibug1022

Each month, CFWC highlights one of our talented fanfic writers or artists, and this month’s creator of the month is @saibug1022! The writer is selected at random. More info can be found on the navigation page. Past COTM's can be found here.

Quick Links:

Tumblr Blog Masterlist

How do you want to be known on Tumblr? 

Salem, Sai, or saibug are all good! They/he pronouns

1- When did you start playing Choices? What was the first book you played? 

I started playing Choices in 2017-ish, I don’t remember what my first book was for sure but I remember the first book I played that really drew me in and got me into the app was The Elementalists.

2- When and why did you join Choices fandom?

I don’t think I really joined the fandom until…a few weeks after that mass cancellation announcement where they announced they’d cancelled It Lives 3, Elementalists 2, Nightbound 2, Hero 2, and RoD 2.

3- How did you pick your blog name? 

Originally it was a mashup of my dead name and a sweet nickname from my childhood, so when I came out I just changed it to incorporate my new name instead :)

4- Pull up the first post in your archive, and tell us about it!  

It was a repost of this screenshot and honestly I was right and should say it. Also this question taught me the archive feature existed so thank you that’ll come in handy lmao

5- Do you write fanfiction, create fan art, or are you one of those really gifted people who do both? 

I write fanfiction! I am trying to learn and practice art so who knows what could happen in the future. Oh and I also do lots of edits :)

6- How long have you been creating for Choices and for any other fandoms?

If we’re talking my true origins I actually started writing by writing Supernatural x reader fics in like 2017, but I didn’t start writing the fics I write now until Sanders Sides in 2019 and then I finally got around to Choices in about 2022 lmao. 7- What is your favorite Choices book, and what is your favorite Choices book to create for?

My favorite book is probably ILITW which is probably obvious, but as for my favorite book to CREATE for that’s tied between It Lives Within and BOLAS.

8- Share your first Choices fanfic or fan art that you posted with us. Do you still like it, or would you change it if you were creating it today?

My first fic was for Nightbound, called The Wrong Engagement. I still like it overall but I think I’d definitely change some things. When I first started writing for Choices I was so so focused on trying to keep MC as vague as possible while still giving them some character, so the stories often came across as bland or even boring.

9- What is your favorite piece of fiction or art that you created? 

My absolute favorite fic is actually something I don’t think I ever posted, but my favorite I’ve posted has probably gotta be a classic which is Val’s Resurrection. There are definitely some things I’d probably change now but it’s the longest fic I’ve written, still really holds up, and I’m really proud of the characterizations in it.

10- Do you have a fic/art that you didn’t expect to be well received, but it was? What about one you expected to do well but found it could use a little more love?

Walls of Regret is probably my biggest fic ever and let me tell you when I posted and wrote it I did not expect it to do as well as it did but I’m so glad it did. I can definitely think of some fics I think people would really like that didn’t get much love, including pretty much everything from the Windverse, but I gotta say Let The Shadows Fall Behind You, which is a fic/scene from my personal ongoing project, a Hero and Endless Summer Crossover

11- If you could write only angst, fluff, or smut for the rest of your writing life, which would it be and why? 

Angst, wholeheartedly, no hesitation. Angst is not only my talent but kind of what I’m known for. I actually kind of struggle to write fluff and ESPECIALLY smut. I’ve only done it a few times and it took days of me staring at the page for days and getting out maybe one sentence an hour.

12 - Do you ever recognize yourself in any of your MCs or in your writing?

Oh all of them. Every single MC has a little piece of me, whether it’s my experiences or my personality or my style or my interests or even the way I talk. 

13 - What element of writing/art do you struggle with most?

With smut at least I get ideas. I struggle so much with even getting ideas for fluff. My favorite things is to dive into the emotions and pain and trauma PB dance around, and finding the beauty in the dark things. I defer to the other amazing writers on this app for the fluff and I consume their fluff fics like a drowning man

14 - Do you have any neglected work you really want to finish?

Two things off the top of my head. My concept for a Hero sequel which includes an Endless Summer crossover. I mentioned that earlier. The second is something fondly called Into the Rowan-verse which was where my two ILW MCs, Castor and Julian, get stuck hopping through the multiverse and meeting a bunch of other people’s MCs.

15 - If someone you know in real life (who isn’t involved in fandoms) asked to see your work, would you let them? If yes, what would you show them first? 

It highly depends on the person and then from there I think I’d just show them my edits or character profiles because my fics you tend to need either full contextual knowledge or at least basic knowledge of the book.

16 - Are there any writers (published authors and/or fanfic writers) who influenced your writing or art? Are there any artists that influence you?

Published writers definitely Rick Riordan, he’s seriously influenced how I use character voices. But from the fandom my biggest inspirations right now are usually @aces-and-angels and @oh-so-you’re-a-nerd 

17- Which one of your stories would you most like to see as a movie/series? 

If I saw Into the Windverse does that count as cheating? But otherwise I’d die for my version of the It Lives Anthology (including ILW and Into the Rowanverse) to be made into a tv show with my headcanons, changes, and MCs.

18- Do you write original fiction or create non-fandom art? 

I do! I have an entire book trilogy fully plotted out that I’m working on writing, plus just writing a bunch with my own OCs.

19 -  What other hobbies do you have?

Pretty much just OC related things tbh. I watch tv a lot and YouTube, I play video games sometimes, and I listen to music ALL the time

[slytherinshua]

I think cause I’m so stressed w school but still want to post I’m finally gonna focus on all the reqs in my inbox instead of my own brain thinking of fic ideas cause it’s so fried rn lol (watch me not follow through w this later on 🧍‍♀️) also just let me ramble for a bit this isn’t rly important but it’s just my thoughts as an author here on the blr.

(long rly pointless ramble abt requests and inboxes and blogs and writing etc etc under the cut if my thoughts don’t make sense at all it’s cause it’s 2 am shush)

like I love requests so much I love sharing brainrot and being able to write a fic for someone and making them happy w my writing it’s the whole reason I started writing in the first place. but I just love my own brain and the fics that I come up with on my own as well and I think it’s rly important for writers to consistently write things that their own brain thought of and write them just because they want to. I’ve seen writers put sm pressure on themselves to complete requests and I totally understand that but I kinda hate how they even feel that pressure in the first place bcuz it takes away the joy of writing and you find yourself unable to even think of what to write anymore cause it’s become associated with the stress of “getting it done” like some sort of school assignment. requests can be such a blessing and a way to connect a fandom more and build a community and even a little family within a blog but it can also be so stressful. feeling bad that you’ve taken too long to finish a request, having anons harass you in your inbox for not writing their request “quickly enough”, and the general entitlement ppl have adopted when they’re literally asking— ASKING someone else to do something FOR THEM. I don’t experience this too often and I don’t want any of the people who have sent me requests to feel bad for sending them in, trust me I LOVE the requests. but I do wonder sometimes if ppl on my blog wonder why I take so long to finish requests and why I never close them either lmao. cause it is quite different from all my moots’ blogs and majority of blogs on tumblr that I’ve seen… and I just think I always want to have that option for readers to spill their thoughts into a request without the pressure or expectation that it’s going to be answered quickly. closing and opening inboxes is an amazing way to work through requests systematically and consistently while also not getting bogged down by too many. and I think readers probably like that system(?) cause it’s a higher chance of their request getting done quickly! (and to those readers who send out the same request to a bunch of different authors idk WHY you do this idc if it’s just bcuz you wanted to see how we would all interpret it differently, honestly fuck you. bcuz it just feels so empty and pointless like you don’t actually care abt us as authors and our writing but just want to see how fast an author can get your idea written and posted. it’s like you’re using us as machines and testing who will be the fastest and who will stay on the loading screen the longest. it’s so disappointing tbh. and maybe this is also why i enjoy writing for lesser known groups bcuz when I get a request it’s so precious to me i know that the reader sent it in bcuz they actually like my writing and know I’ll be able to write for a group that they love that not many other ppl write for. despite the fact that I won’t get more than 10-30 notes for a fic from a nugu group doesn’t mean that it is less rewarding.)

but then again I’ve also seen readers ignore the authors rules stating that requests are closed or get mad that they are and it’s just… sigh… we are literally writing for free for your enjoyment, we spend hundreds of hours writing these fics whether they are “good” or “bad” they still take time and effort and love and a whole lot of brainpower and googling of synonyms and staring blankly at the two sentences you’ve written before switching tabs and procrastinating for 2 hours only to come back and finish in one flurry of motivation lmao. but for me having my inbox always open and welcome for requests feels like it’s actively counteracting the expectations for writers to pump out fics like some sort of machine to feed their audience while only getting blank likes as a return (this is truly JUST my thoughts and how I view it I’m not trying to say how I do things is better or how others work their blog is wrong or anything like that. if ur a writer and u rly focus on getting ur requests done lowkey I admire u cause I do still feel some guilt looking at requests I have sitting in my inbox from like last year although I am happy and content w my system and feel that it does put the focus on me and my creativity and less on the pressure to take others ideas and make a fic for them with the side effects of time pressure and guilt for not following through if that makes sense.) all that rambling is to say that now that brain is so focused on tasks that are much more important and I have less time to think of silly little delusions, having these requests sitting in my inbox waiting for me is rly nice :) and I’m rly excited to complete more of them cause most of you have given me rly rly amazing fic ideas <3

[jerrsterrr]

hey guyssshahgahgahaaaaaaahhaaaa

obligatory silly posting about my ocs/sonas!!!!!!! and. me

and the amongus crewmates because i made a joke on insta that my followers were little guys and it was a silly "where do u wanna be on the drawing" w my mutuals over there :3

those characters are like my sort of sonas in my little oc world, the mind, body and heart!! i have this lil goober with headphones to more accurately represent me ^___^

(LMAO THIS WAS THE ONLY PIC I COULD FIND)

Theres like a big biiiigg storyline as these three being main characters thats going on here with several different characters that i wish to update more accurately on my Toyhouse and i have several posts on my instagram but i decided to use tumblr as to rant and ykno fanboy about my own ocs aswell!!!!!!!!! lol

okay long infodump that probably makes little sense my bad

The way it goes is themed after infinite realities, death,, living and basically heaven? Which i came up with after having like several years of haunting dreams LOL

For the longest time since i was little ive had dreams of being in some sort of messed up apocalypse so thats what the mind is from!! His name is Xiety and he looks like me when i had those dreams, or like some fucked up bird thing heheh

After all that though i started having dreams where i was,, different people sort of?? Dreams with different povs or dreams where i lived entire different lives. Thats Jerri! the body.

The last little guy is called matthew and isnt based off any dreams but more based off the feeling i get when i realize im dreaming. Ive never lucid dreamed but ive always had like a moment to realize "this isnt my life" and im just like viewing whats happeining o_0

All together i made a story for when they get sort of seperated, Xiety, the mind is seperated from the two in a apocalyptic world they have control over and hides the heart (matthew). The body being basically a carbon copy of itself just wanders around this world. Jerri cant remember how they got there or where they are from, but they die, over and over and over. Until eventually, they find the heart, in some rubble, and they sort of gain concious enough to realize "um im stuck in infinite zombie reality hell and this is NOT my reality" they take the plush and try to survive, but xiety kinda catches on and feels betrayed by this. He cant comprehend why on earth the body would want to live knowing what he knows (news flash only the mind knows what he knows of their og reality) HENCE the breaking out and being stuck in a infinite inbetween of constant realities woooo. Jerri and Matthew try to find to find the og reality, going through different bodies, meeting different minds and dying in ALOT of them. It becomes kinda clear that in most realities NONE of them do they live or are happy LMAO

that was like a shitty simplification BUT BESIDES ALLAT they litterally stumble into heaven and meet gods and Reapers and souls BUT they cant stay which SUCKS cuz imagine losing it it and one day people see you for yourself and you cant STAY cuz ur technically not dead just abstracted into peices and yaddah yaddah more ocs hehehe

(ALSO BASED ON A DREAM I HAD)

anyways heres a silly video i made with all of em:

ALSO ALSO OBLIGATORY TAG @moenmomentsthemoe-en

:333333

[catt-nuevenor]

First off I was literally obsessed with your demo. It was actually the very first thing I ever read on dashington and I was basically inlove with all of the ROs.

That being said. As for the changes I've read through all the comments, asks and replies. And it's... different. Not necessarily bad just new I guess? Because it changes alot of the wonder I had experienced playing the demo. So it just feels weird I suppose?

No saying I won't read it, come on I love your writing. I practically word vomited my praises on tumblr as soon as I finished reading it the first time. And I get you said the old demo would still stay on but there's like.. no point if it's not gonna continue..? If that makes sense it's just then kind of incomplete?

I also for the most illogical reasons feel the same way as others when it comes to ROs being in relationships outside of MC. Like if they were already in a pre-existing relationship sure I get it! There are many stories like that if you don't choose to romance a character in the beginning they get back with an ex they broke up with or they are with someone else where you choose a route in like the very beginning. But again hear me out I'm completely stupid for this!!! But whenever I play a game where an RO then gets like with one of MCs friends on a different route it just fucks with my head for that LI. Like I then just see them with that other person. And have a fuck you attitude to that character aswell EVEN on a different route lmao it makes no sense! It's not logical! And it's dumb! But that's why I play fictional stories okay! So I don't hve to deal with shit like that. Don't judge me 😅🤣

Kay long tangent aside.. I guess what I'm saying is the new changes kinda scare me. But I'm keeping an open mind. I'd honestly read whatever you post because of how talented you are and yeah.. some of the ROs are probably gonna get a fuck you out of me for being in a different relationship and I'll probably not do that route because of how stupid my head is. So jesus I hope it isn't my fav LI 😭 but I'll still support you and I do wish you the best in the writing. I do love the story and I do like the addition of I guess more characters. Just the RO thing fucks with my head alil. I'm sorry if that's weird to some people.

I'm not making any sense just gonna go now... 🙈

Dear heck, I think this is the longest ask I've ever received. I didn't even know asks could be this long...

The changes will take a while for everyone to get used to, I think. But at least we'll all be in the same boat?

I do get the unsettling nature of seeing LIs romancing other characters while you're on alternate routes. The first one that springs to mind for me is Josephine in Dragon Age Inquisition. Seeing her fawn over Blackwall was weird. But, it made me realise how attached I was to her romance and hers alone, so it worked out in the long run.

Myrk Mire still isn't back on my working schedule yet, I'll let you all know when it is, and I'll try to keep you updated with WIP screenshots or planning doodles. Perhaps then I'll also give a bit more information on the dynamics of the LIs and the variables driving who makes eyes and who.

[notagoldfish]

Getting real sick of seeing variations of "the straights lost" and "LOL now you know how it feels" and "lmao straightbaiting" in regards to Tedbecca shippers' response to the opening scene of the Ted Lasso finale.

First of all, your standards are way too low. Good straightbaiting would have opened the same way but would have had Trent wander in after Ted to thank Rebecca for the use of her spare room since his dad's at his flat with his daughter, and they can't bone at Ted's because of Mrs. Shipley. THAT'S FUCKING STRAIGHTBAITING.

But also, do y'all not get that shipping is a largely queer pastime? It had to be because for the longest time shipping was the only way we could see ourselves in media. I don't know who you think Tedbecca shippers are, but especially if you are posting about it here on tumblr dot com, the people you're mocking for being hurt ARE ALSO LARGELY QUEER.

I guarantee you, many Tedbecca shippers already "know how it feels" and being cruelly misled and then treated like morons for daring to pick up romantic tropes is actually probably not that new for them.

This goldstar shipping attitude is gross too. Queers can ship whatever they want. It's shipping! It's fun! And there's no requirement that you have to ship wlw or mlm to be a queer shipper! The idea that only straight people like hetships kinda smacks of biphobia amongst other things!

Plus, as someone who's been queerbaited by media, my general takeaway was, "This sucks! I hope people don't have to continue to experience this!" not, "This sucks! I hope everyone gets fucked over in similar ways!"

Just in general, stop being shitty to other fans because they interpreted things differently or hold a different opinion of the show/season/finale. Especially my fellow Tedependents because we're awesome and better than gloating over a hollow non-victory.

[needtoloveoutloud]

Hi hi Hellooo it's the Anon with the cute emoticons, at your service (⌒‿⌒)

I found another list on tumblr of questions i thought would be fun for u to answer if u want but u dont have to if u dont want to!!

⋆˚✿˖°

What is your nickname?

When is your birthday?

What was your longest relationship?

What is your favorite book?

What is something you're insecure about?

5 Male celebrity crushes

5 Female celebrity crushes

What is your dream job?

What do you consider your biggest accomplishment?

What is a fact about you that nobody would believe?

What were your highs and lows for this last month?

Where is somewhere you'd like to visit?

How do you de-stress?

What are your favorite apps besides tumblr?

Describe yourself in one sentence.

What do you think makes you attractive?

What is something you're really good at?

What is something you're really bad at?

A time that you told a lie.

What's a totally random and useless fact that you know?

Who knows you the best?

What is your most prized possession?

What is your longest friendship?

When did you first feel like an adult?

Do you/ Have you played any sports?

How are you feeling right now?

Are you an early bird or a night owl?

Do you believe in love at first sight?

Favorite song lyrics right now?

What does self care look like for you?

Describe yourself with 3 singers.

What makes you nervous?

What’s a pet peeve you have?

What will always make you cry?

What kind of first impression do you think you make on people?

This is a question from me: What is ur favourite chapter of the shadows series?

⋆˚✿˖°

(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧ All the love for you!

Oh hi, welcome back, Anon with the questions and the cute emoticon thingies (I forgot their actual name, sorry!) :)

Sorry for the late reply, was stuck working and then had a doctor's appointment. I hope I can answer your questions in one post this time :D

What is your nickname? Becks (surprisingly)

When is your birthday? 5th of June

What was your longest relationship? I've only ever been in one and married the guy so, in November it will be nine years (jfc time flies holy shit)

What is your favorite book? Oh a lot, but it's been a while since I've read actual books (besides scientific books about skincare and stuff), and not fanfiction, but I remember reading one years ago (I think it's for teenagers or something). When I first read it, I really liked it (though I'm not sure my brain — now a few years older — would still agree). It's called “Theo's Odyssey”. It's about a boy who learns about different religions and asks a lot of skeptical questions. It's aimed at teens, I think, but since I had a literal crisis of faith back when I read it, I enjoyed it. At least that's the first book that comes to mind right now, for some reason.

What is something you're insecure about? My skills and intelligence — practically regarding everything those two are needed for. Also, the future. Not just mine, but the world's in general.

5 Male celebrity crushes Oh my… real men? Okay, well... Jensen Ackles (with a beard and rugged looking lmao), Lee Pace (though I haven't seen a lot of movies/shows with him), Nathan Mitchell, And man: Raymond Ablack (he has the prettiest hair and such a glorious beard in Ginny & Georgia) Oscar Isaac, Andy Samberg (listen, that guy seems like someone you could trust and leave your drink with at a party, and he'd keep it safe. Also, he's funny). I know, it's six people and I probably forgot a few but still

5 Female celebrity crushes THIS ONE IS EASIER THAN THE MALE CRUSHES okay so Megan Thee Stallion (I only listen to a few of her songs but she seems like such a cool person plus... I have eyes thank you), Florence Pugh, Ana de Armas (!), Kristen Stewart (she and Keira Knightley were my bi awakening, I think), Zendaya, Elizabeth Olsen, Miley Cyrus, Cara Delevigne, Cate Blanchett, Lady Gaga (that woman's talent is... I feel like she can do anything. Her Joanne album is so fucking good) Taylor Momsen, Natalie Dormer, Rihanna, Margot Robbie, ... lmao you asked for six but you got so much more. There are also a lot more but yeah... I'm not sorry, though. :D

What is your dream job? I don't dream of doing labor but generally speaking, I love my current job — mostly because of my colleagues and because I have a really good employer/boss. I'm in digital marketing, building websites, etc.

What do you consider your biggest accomplishment? Probably surviving past my teenage years

What is a fact about you that nobody would believe? I still sleep with my loose braces at night. I had braces when I was younger, and I'm afraid my teeth will reposition themselves. Also, it prevents migraines for me, for some reason. So, when I take my contacts out, wear my glasses (I'm blind af) and wear my braces at night, I'm again that Thirteen-year-old girl who feels dorky as hell lmao

What were your highs and lows for this last month? Well uhm I guess my lowest low was when I (TW: miscarriage) lost my baby last month. Which, is quite the damn low, I guess. My highlights were all the lovely feedback/comments/interactions regarding my story and the lovely fanart people make. It really brightened everything up a ton

Where is somewhere you'd like to visit? Japan and Sweden

How do you de-stress? Sleeping, writing, watching anime and cuddling with my cat and husband. Also: silence.

What are your favorite apps besides tumblr? TikTok and “internet” for AO3 lmao

Describe yourself in one sentence. It all depends on the people I'm around and the places I am.

What do you think makes you attractive? I hope my smile and personality (humor, too, hopefully)

What is something you're really good at? sleeping :D No shit, I lie down and I intantly fall asleep. Also, I feel like I can remember all my dreams (probably not) — for better or worse

What is something you're really bad at? taking care of myself, according to my husband. Personally, I'd say letting your body rot for a few days is also a form of self care. Also, I overthink to the point of not-functioning a lot, not buying new plants and making even more by taking off cuttings from them ( I have a LOT of various plants at home)

A time that you told a lie. "Sure, of course, I already started working on that project!"

What's a totally random and useless fact that you know? Orcas are natural predators of moose

Who knows you the best? My husband

What is your most prized possession? my memory box (a box I store items in that make me think back (fondly, mostly) to some experiences I had

What is your longest friendship? My best friend, we met as babies

When did you first feel like an adult? When I had to manage my own money and only had available what I worked for and couldn't go out with friends and the like. I think I was 14 or something

Do you/ Have you played any sports? Wheel gymnastics, for years, started when I was a kid. It's not very well known, so here's a pic (that's not me in the pic)

How are you feeling right now? (sorry the numbers started anew after the image) Have a headache and stressed, because I was stuck in a meeting and now I'm too late for my ob/gyn appointment. Which means that now I've got to wait forever because I'm too late. Other than that, I shaved my legs today so I feel like a dolphin

Are you an early bird or a night owl? I function at neither time tbh it always depends but I guess more a night owl

Do you believe in love at first sight? I believe in connection at first sight

Favorite song lyrics right now? "Forgive me, Peter, my lost fearless leader. In closets like cedar, preserved from when we were kids. Is it something I did? The goddess of timing once found us beguiling. She said she was trying. Peter, was she lying? My ribs get the feeling she did." I have a lot, but this one's on right now and I can connect to it a lot.

What does self care look like for you? Sleeping in, having time to process stuff, and no technology

Describe yourself with 3 singers. Mitski, Taylor Swift, Marianas Trench (last one's a band but still)

What makes you nervous? Right now? My ob/gyn appointment. In general: the future.

What’s a pet peeve you have? Something I share with my version of Shota Aizawa: being interrupted. Absolutely hate it. And: people not PROPERLY washing their hands after using the bathroom. With soap, between their fingers, and all. Take the time to not spread your germs, it's not that hard. Unwashed hands in general.

What will always make you cry? reading the news. music and stories (written, read, or watched in the form of movies/tv shows)

What kind of first impression do you think you make on people? no idea, but probably that I'm an introvert (not sure if this is true, a lot of new people at once just overwhelm me a lot)

This is a question from me: What is ur favourite chapter of the shadows series? Oh, I recently re-read chapters 25 and 26 (they're not published yet) and I'm really happy with those. The readers will hate them because of the angst/hurt but will also love them because of comfort and... certain crumbs that are finally evolving into a full meal. Or at least, a starter. I also put a LOT of thoughtful metaphors and symbolism with references (some to the prequel) in there, which I hope will be caught by the readers (they're super smart, so I'm sure they will). I have some plot points, though, that I know will fucking slap, too hahah (once I've written them, that is)

I have a feeling that I'm not an interesting person, so I hope the answers satisfy you at least a bit, Anon :D 🤍

[wingsonghalo]

20 Questions for Fic Writers

Tagged by @cnnmonbimee! Thank you for the tag!! Read her awesome answers here!

1. How many works do you have on Ao3? 66! More than I thought were on there tbh!

2. What’s your total Ao3 word count? Uhhh apparently it's 684,757! Less than I thought!

3. What fandoms do you write for? In order of most fics to least: Ace Attorney, JSHK, My Hero Academia, Mob Psycho 100, Homestuck, Hunter x Hunter, Phineas and Ferb, and Supernatural. I've also written a lot of Pokemon stuff, but somehow that has escaped Ao3 despite it being my longest fandom LOL. Working on a Pokemon SV one currently though 👀

4. What are your top five fics by kudos? Project: Matchmakers (shocker, I know), Sleep (Too) Tight (It's always been slowly but steadily popular), Force of Habit (bit of a surprise there honestly), Project: Matrimony (less surprising), and The Stuff of Dreams. So what I am seeing here is that no one leaves kudos on my JSHK or MP100 or MHA fics :') Some of these fics are one-shots, so it's kind of surprising! I wish PlayWright had gotten more attention; that fic killed me while I was writing it. I'm not giving number of kudos because I'm not comfortable with that and it makes me feel bad about myself haha,,,

5. Do you respond to comments? I try to! I've fallen behind on responding to them in the past 2 years or so because life has been so busy, though…

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? Probably A Practice, For Now?? LMAO it's also my first JSHK and the one with the most kudos HMM COULD THIS FANDOM BE ADDICTED TO ANGST PERHAPS??! I don't write angst a lot!! What can I say, I'm a sucker for a happy ending.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? Almost all of my fics end happily, LOL. Pick any of them that actually has an ending.

8. Do you get hate on fics? Not commonly. I've gotten anon hate before about them on tumblr on rare occasions, but usually my comments on ao3 stay pretty nice.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind? I do sometimes, but I'm so shy about it that I rarely ever post it /)//w//(\ Usually I just share it among friends, haha!

10. Do you write crossovers? Nope, and I never will!

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen? Yes. Someone tried to run Project: Matchmakers through a translator to hide the word matches and sell it as an ebook on Amazon, but they only bothered to hide it for chapter 1 so someone reported it to me and then in retaliation I started actually selling it on Amazon for the lowest price I could because the thief was trying to sell the shittier version for like 7 dollars LSFJ;AKLD. Read about the whole debacle here.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated? Yes, quite a few! People have been great about asking me for permission! 💖

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before? Yes, here and there! Usually it's either fics where I have written one part and someone else has written another scene, or someone had me look over something they'd written and I added so much commentary or threw additional ideas at them so much that the story ended up changing and I somehow became a co-author, LOL.

14. What’s your all time favorite ship? Oh my god don't make me answer that ;alskdjfl;k. If I wrote a fic for them ever, they're my favorite. I have so many favorites that I've never written fics for, too.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? THE UNDERCOVER FIIIIIC [sobs] and also Left on Read hnnngh

16. What are your writing strengths? Emotions!! I'm super good at those! I'm also really strong at dialogue and banter, and making my writing kinda witty/funny.

17. What are your writing weaknesses? Describing settings ;w; I write my scenes like I draw my art: in Descriptionless Blank Voids lkas;dlkf. I also struggle with the flow of action scenes sometimes, though I think they usually turn out okay if I spend enough time on them. I also probably use too many adverbs and adjectives, but y'know what? Fuck it I like my descriptive words thank you very much

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic? As long as you're checking that it means what you think it means, or possibly asking a native speaker if you're unsure about context or need a sensitivity reader, I think it's fine. It annoys me if I have to check a footnote every other line, but if you can mostly understand it without a translation in context, it can be kinda nice! At least it says you're trying more than phonetically spelling out an accent, which--remember, kids!--is always cringe! 👍

19. First fandom you wrote for? On Ao3, it was Homestuck. On the internet in general, it was Animal Crossing and Pokemon, LOL.

20. Favorite fic you’ve written? Don't make me cHOOSE BETWEEN MY BABIESSS 😭 I dunno man! Project: Matchmakers is my magnum opus, but the PlayWright is lowkey kind of a masterpiece, I love so many of my JSHK fics to bits and pieces, a lot of my MP100 and MHA fics are very special to me, I've been trying to write a HxH one for YEARS and have poured my heart into making it beautiful, just UGHHH every single one of my fics I have vivid memories of conceptualizing and working on and most of them are my favorite to some degree!

I tag @carochinha, @kittykatz009, @toastytoaster22, @ittybittytoostormy, and anyone else who would like to answer these questions!!

[ifvaria]

what the fuck is the red jello? i'm so glad you asked (thrasir metapost womp)

as this is my longest waiting muse, i figure it's time i post baby's first meta. please bear with me on what is basically just... a ramble with images.

(tumblr deleted this in its ((very fucking long)) first pass. so i'm grumpy about having to write it all again)

before there was a feh oc with the name, i took to calling the neon jello-like stuff the hel ocs have eitr. in old norse, eitr is the word for poison, and in nordic mythology it is a liquid substance that gave life to the first jötunn. my headcanons are all derived from that concept (though whether or not i will continue to call it eitr since getting a character with the name has yet to be determined.)

for now, though, we'll be calling it such. has a better ring to it than jello or goo lmao.

so, lina, what does this stuff do? good question. think of it like a preservative. the characters who possess it are all very much dead, and so eitr takes the place of things like organs and flesh when they are no longer needed. all of the helions we have seen are missing their chests and stomachs, so by that fact (and that being where our most important organs are) i assume this is where eitr begins its progression. from there it spreads through the limbs.

and i can say in confidence that it spreads in such a way because thrasir still has hands!

this is her day of devotion alt, in which you can see that beneath her elbow is eitr, and yet her wrists are still flesh. in her default, you cannot see this, because the entirety of her forearm is covered in armor.

looking at her design and the clear lack of care taken in protecting the eitr parts of herself, i've come to the conclusion that the most heavily armored parts of her are likely still skin. this would be part of her forearms + hands and some of her calves + feet. she also is the only oc with all of her face still (and a neck!) though i couldn't tell you why exactly on that one. she's just cool or whatever.

the protection also would make sense under the logic that, because she is dead, any sort of wound will not be naturally healed. were her remaining flesh to sustain any sort of damage, there would be only eitr to replace it. clinging to her last little scraps of humanity is what this is.

now, onto the real pressing question. if i punch her, will my fist go right through? and the short answer is no. the actual texture of eitr is kind of hard to guage, but i'll break it down for you.

based on damaged art, neither thrasir nor ganglot's jello-parts have any effects added to them to display how they react. we have hel and lif to source from, in this instance, and they give... quite different answers.

hel's eitr seems to crack like glass, lending more towards a hard surface than lif, who turns to liquid...?

my takeaway from this is that it depends on the eitr's age. hel has been this way for considerably longer, and is also way less frequently in combat than lif. hel's eitr would be cured, almost, and hardened on the outside, whereas lif's is probably still a little squishy (especially if it is consistently taking damage and being renewed.)

so this would give us thrasir's answer, which is that hers is likely somewhere in the middle. punching her would probably feel about the same as punching a normal person -- kind of squishy but definitely solid.

and of course, the most important question: is she cherry flavored?

no. and if you lick her you will die, be it because eitr is poisonous in nature or thrasir would explode you. one or the other, whichever comes first.