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lovelylogans · 4 years ago

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spring cleaning

there’s a pack rat in the family. who it is will not surprise you.

part of the wyliwf verse.

warnings: food mentions, alcohol mentions, general messiness, jokes about hoarding

pairings: patton/virgil, offscreen logan/roman

word count: 2,412

notes: hi! this is just a quick little fic as i beta and finish off the next chapter of debutante. this is based off the gilmore girls season three episode twelve “lorelai out of water” cold open. takes place the spring after the main storyline, after alliance but before debutante.

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virgil’s phone buzzes at 10:13 am on a sunny spring sunday. he pauses just after he drops off the brunch plates for mrs. torres, babette, and east side tilly, digging around in his back pocket to squint at his recent texts.

logan sanders: Please help.

any other time, this kind of text would probably send anxiety flooding his veins like ice water. as he’s been warned, sure, he’s a little anxious that he’s misreading the situation, but he shakes that aside and snorts.

“called it,” he mutters under his breath, before he wipes his hands on his apron and types out christ, you’re folding easy this year. is that a new record?

a brief pause. then, No, the record was twenty-four minutes. To be fair, that took place when I was ten years old, we were moving into the house, and you were already going to be involved, so I perhaps I should propose that does not count against my spring cleaning record.

ah, that’s right. god, helping patton move had kind of been a nightmare. helping anyone move is a bit of a nightmare, but with patton there’s a whole new layer of shenanigans.

Another buzz. Also, I need this to be hastened along. I have a Socratic seminar in English tomorrow, and though we have settled on a tentative truce I refuse to let Dee achieve the highest grade in the class.

he shoots back i’ll be there asap.

“jean,” he calls to the counter, but jean, having been warned as well, waves him off.

“i got it, at least he waited till the we hit the between-masses lull.”

“you’re the best,” he says, hanging up his apron and ignoring mrs. torres’ hoots about his arms—he's like ninety percent sure she’s spiking her own orange juice so she can have a screwdriver with her pancakes but he hasn’t caught her with a flask in hand yet—and heads out the door.

the citizens of sideshire are fully soaking in the pleasure of a sunny spring day—it’s one of those days, where the weather’s warming up slowly, but there’s sure to be more cold snaps before they fully settle into spring, so lots of people are taking advantage of it. families are sprawled with picnic blankets in the grassy town square. the “long-haired freak” (taylor’s nickname, not his. virgil’s pretty sure his name is dave, but also, he’s not totally sure his name is dave, and as such usually avoids any complications by saying “hey, man,” whenever virgil sees him) is out hawking fruits and vegetables from his garden. lots of people are out on walks, some with earbuds or headphones on, some calling out jolly greetings to other people taking advantage of a blue sky and temperatures that are soaring above freezing.

“hey, virgil.”

“hey, felix,” virgil says, craning his neck to catch sight of—well, he guesses felix and riley are technically his tenants? but that always feels weird to say—his neighboring business owners. felix is busy making sure a promotional poster’s taped to the window. “how’re things?”

“ah, y’know, y’know,” felix says, waving their hands around. “weather’s warming up, so we’re getting into busy season. guess people want to be able to flaunt new ink in the warmer weather, y’know?”

“hey, speaking of—” virgil says.

“oh, yeah,” felix says, scratching at the half of their head that was once shaved bald but is now growing in stubbly. “you wanna have riley do one this time? they can draw up some sketches for you, if you want. or i can, if you want, but it might be a minute ‘cause i’m all hands on deck for this massive full-back piece.”

“nah, riley’ll be cool, it’s been a minute since they’ve done one for me,” virgil says. “i’ll drop by later with some reference photos, ideas and stuff.”

“i’ll make sure they’re refreshed on what your style is before the consultation,” felix says. “appreciate the business.”

“appreciate you and your spouse taking over this empty shop so taylor didn’t get a chance to,” virgil returns, as he usually does whenever felix or their riley thanks him for something. he’s really awkward about accepting gratitude, he’s working on that with emile and patton.

“god, could you imagine taylor next door,” felix says with a theatric shudder. “bad enough he runs half the town.”

“i’ll call tomorrow to make the appointment?”

felix flashes him a thumbs up, and virgil raises a hand in farewell as he continues on his way.

he ends up pushing his sleeves up to his elbows as he walks to the sanders’ house, occasionally saying hey to other residents of sideshire, or tilting his face up to the sun.

this winter’s been brutal, even worse than it usually is for the northeast, with absurd amounts of blizzards and ice. on the days where it wasn’t shoveling ridiculous amounts of snow on the whole town, the sky had been gray and overcast, and what little sun there was could barely stream weakly through the clouds.

but now, the sun sinks softly into his exposed skin, warming him without overheating him thanks to the breeze, carrying the sweet scent of tentatively blooming flowers planted by particularly audacious gardeners.

it is a perfect, lovely spring day.

by the time he gets to the cheerful yellow clapboard house, he’s taken enough deep, calming breaths to ensure that he is a calming presence. he ascends the stairs of the wraparound porch—oh, huh, looks like patton or logan’s making an attempt at being a gardener, that looks like mountain mint—and knocks lightly on the front door.

“please come in,” logan shouts, sounding exasperated, and virgil obligingly pushes the door open.

he toes off his shoes, even as he overhears patton’s voice, cajoling.

“hug-a-world! c’mon, you’ve gotta remember your hug-a-world!”

hug-a-world, virgil mouths to himself, before it comes back to him in sudden, vivid technicolor and he rounds the corner.

and, sure enough, surrounded by the detritus of the sanders home, patton and logan sit in a hastily-cleared space in the middle of their living room, patton holding a stuffed ball tight to his chest.

“of course i remember the hug-a-world,” logan says, still with that tone of exasperation, but lessened now at the sight of a beloved childhood toy.

“you can’t make me throw away your hug-a-world,” patton declares viciously, which would almost be believably threatening if he were not clutching a stuffed ball made to look like a globe to his chest, and if his curly hair was not sticking up in a configuration that virgil thinks of as chaotically unruly, and if he were not wearing a pink-and-blue sweater he usually busts out around easter, and if someone did not know patton as a person. “you learned all seven of your continents on hug-a-world!”

see, without fail, almost every year patton gets suckered into the whole concept of the spring clean. and, without fail, logan or virgil will try to point out that he does this every year, and patton insists no, really, this time for sure he’ll get rid of some of the clutter around this house, it’s about time!, and then he gets sidetracked getting attached to objects he finds that he suddenly cannot bear to get rid of, despite the fact that said objects have typically been buried away in a dark closet all the rest of the year.

which means that logan and virgil sit with him and try to point that out, and patton wavers, before he decides to keep or donate or trash it, and it seems like it’s going okay, until the next thing he touches turns out to be another thing that he suddenly cannot bear to give up.

it’s gotten a little better since that time they introduced the marie kondo method, but also, that much worse, because of course he insists that everything sparks joy!

but this is way more mess than usual. there are cardboard boxes and piles of clothes and bits and bobs that are in piles that come up to his ribs. virgil squints it at it suspiciously.

“attic,” logan says wearily, in explanation. “he got boxes out of the attic.”

oh, shit, the attic. god, that thing is stuffed to the brim with boxes, no wonder the living room looks like someone upended the odds-and-ends drawer for a giant into the house.

“but—c’mon,” patton says, in that same sweetly coaxing tone that usually makes them all throw up their hands and leave the rest of this spring cleaning mess for next year’s spring clean. he holds out the hug-a-world to logan. “hold it. marie says so.”

“marie does not realize that she has a special case with my hoarder of a father and therefore should customize the approach of sparks joy, because you have too wide a definition,” logan says, but he reaches out and takes the hug-a-world with both hands anyways.

virgil examines logan holding it, thinking suddenly of a much tinier logan with a gap in his front teeth holding the same toy in the same way, though the fabric had been much more vibrant shades of blue and green then. there had been a solid stretch of time that the hug-a-world had been the toy that logan had hugged falling asleep, back in the poolhouse. he’d taken the hug-a-world to the diner and to school and all around the inn and to the princes’ apartment and back again.

a side of logan’s mouth twitches up, and then, as if suddenly conscious of it, he forces the corners of his mouth to turn down as he stares at it.

“remember?” patton repeats, staring at logan and the hug-a-world fondly. “we used to take turns to squeeze it as tight as we could and then wherever our pinkies would end up, that’s where we were going to go together when you grew up.”

“yes,” logan says, and then loses the fight against his mouth, because it twitches up into a smile again. “many a trip to uzbekistan was planned that way.”

“look!” patton says, pointing and tilting his head. “that’s canada, then, where’d your other one get you?”

logan moves his other pinky in order to squint at the faded fabric. “i believe that’s cambodia. possibly vietnam, i was rather splitting the border.”

“why not both?” patton says pragmatically, or as pragmatically as he can sound planning a potential trip based off hugging a ball.

logan hesitates, holding the ball.

“look,” patton says. “hey, how about virgil helps clean it up, and the hug-a-world can live in your room?”

logan chews at the inside of his lip.

“if it sparks joy,” patton sing-songs.

logan heaves a sigh.

“the hug-a-world will live in my room, then,” he says, before looking to virgil. “we’ve started a pile for you right here,” and pats a pile of what mostly looks like clothes that can be either repaired, repurposed, or sneakily donated.

virgil takes a breath, and says, “i’ll crack open a window and put on some music, then. patton, you take your allergy medicine today?”

patton tilts his head to think about it.

“that’s a no,” virgil says. “i’ll grab it on the way. water, snacks? we’re gonna be here for a while.”

“are we?” logan says doubtfully, twisting to look at him.

“we are finishing spring clean this year!” patton insists. “i mean it this time!”

logan arches his eyebrows at virgil, and virgil mouths play along, and logan sighs before he turns back to the pile, pulling out an old jacket at random.

“i have never seen you wear this. it should be donated.”

“that was from raf, we can’t just toss it!” patton cries out in dismay, and virgil heads for the kitchen.

he fills up three glasses of water, chops up some celery and apples, fills up three mini ramekins with peanut butter, and sets it all on a tray, along with the round white pill that patton takes for his allergies.

he plugs in his phone and scrolls to a roman-made playlist, lowering the volume so that they’ll be able to hear each other, and proceeds to make his meandering way around the piles of Stuff as best he can without knocking anything over.

on his way, he moves to crack open the windows of the living room, allowing the floral-scented air to waft into the messy room, to hear the chirping of the birds under patton and logan’s debating.

he pushes aside a pile of old books on the coffee table and sets the tray down, mostly ignored as logan manages to triumph and tosses the jacket into a box labeled DONATE.

virgil settles down next to his pile, sitting in criss-cross-applesauce, and gosh all of the clutter of patton and logan’s lives looms over them like a mountain at this angle.

“okay,” virgil says encouragingly. “good, that’s good! raf’s old jacket will probably make some other teenager very happy to have it.”

patton sighs, staring after the jacket. “yeah, i guess.”

“this is good,” virgil says stubbornly, before tugging at a piece of fabric sticking out at random and unearthing a blanket.

“oh, i was wondering where that got off to!” patton says, delighted.

“i thought that got lost in the moving shuffle,” virgil agrees, because the last time he saw this he was pretty sure it was tossed over the back of their rented apartment couch.

“so this blanket has not been washed in at least six years,” logan says.

“well, that can be fixed!” patton points out. “i say keep.”

“we’re never going to finish,” logan groans.

“of course we’re gonna finish!” patton says.

“yeah, logan,” virgil says unconvincingly. “listen to your dad.”

patton beams at him, leaning over to kiss him on the cheek; logan rolls his eyes, before he turns his attention to the blanket.

“so, you claim keep for your room,” logan says. “you already have so many blankets.”

“well, we can always use more blankets!” patton points out. “worse comes to worse, we’ll put it in the linen closet.”

logan tilts his head, before he sighs, and places it in a pile of other fabrics that they seem to have decided to keep.

“all right, fine,” he says, then fishes out another piece of fabric. “next item—”

“look how fast we settled that!” patton says brightly.

“pretty fast,” virgil agrees dutifully.

“we’ll totally finish spring clean this year,” patton says confidently.

(they do not finish spring clean this year.)

#my post #text #my fic #my fanfiction #the sideshire files #sideshire files #sanders sides #sanders sides fanfiction #moxiety

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taylizmasterpost · 4 years ago

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Liz After the Agency (September 2012 - September 2014)

So, Liz is spiraling. Her mental health isn’t doing great. And she was just asked to leave The Agency (presumably to take care of herself, although the public reason given was for her to start a solo career). Things are bad.

However, in the darkness, there’s always a light. And the light for Liz, in this case is her neighbor, Bryan Brown.

24 September 2012 - Liz and Bryan tweet at each other for the first time:

17 October 2012 - Taylor writes This Love:

Now, this COULD be about Liz, considering the back and forth. However, I’m more inclined to believe Taylor wrote this about Swiftgron’s first break up, right after they got back together, which you can read more about here.

The same day, Liz makes a vague tweet about jealousy:

It’s crazy weird to me that the same day Taylor is celebrating getting back together with Dianna and writing This Love, Liz is pissed off and jealous about something. Coincidence? Maybe. But I don’t think so.

22 October 2012 - Red is released. According to a later interview with the photographer who did the Red booklet (who happens to be Liz’s current roommate), Taylor based the concept of the photoshoot on some headshots they’d taken for Liz:

“Taylor is a mutual friend of ours. Stephen and his brother were friends with her years before, and I became friends with her separately. What ended up happening was one of her background singers needed headshots. When Taylor saw them a few months later, she came to me and was like, “Liz showed me the shots you took of her, and I need my album to look exactly like that.” Clearly, this was a no-brainer. I said, “OK!” Before then, I’d been kind of burned out on music photography. A lot of the shoots were super controlling. I needed a new perspective on the field itself and wanted future shoots to be very free-flowing — just the artist and a minimum crew. Luckily for Stephen and me, that’s exactly how Taylor presented the Red album shoot. So it was just the three of us shooting everything together. She wanted everybody else to remain off set, allowing for a more personal and intimate experience.”

So, I don’t know why Taylor did this. Maybe she wanted to look like a hipster for the Red album and Liz was the best she knew. Or, maybe, she wanted to scream to those who knew her well that this album was about LIZ HUETT.

In this series of Liz headshots, there’s also one specific photo of Liz wearing the Stevie Nicks moon necklace that Taylor possibly gave to her:

Is this possibly one of the reasons why Taylor wanted to mimic them for the Red album?

Later that day, Taylor goes on Good Morning America and says she wrote a new song “like two days ago” (probably talking about This Love?)

And after that, Taylor tells the LA Times that Begin Again and State of Grace are about the same person:

“There were a few track list choices I knew I was going to make way in advance,” she said. “I knew I wanted to bookend the album with ‘State of Grace’ and ‘Begin Again’ because they’re inspired by the same person who inspired a few songs on the record. I wanted to start and end the album with the first and last song I ever wrote about that relationship.”

“Then in between those songs, I wanted to paint a picture of the ups and downs I’ve experienced in life and love, not necessarily in the order it happened chronologically,” Swift continued. “I like to spread the emotions out in a way that never makes you feel like there’s a sad lull, then a burst of four songs in a row about joy. At the end of the day, I make a track list based on what my gut feeling tells me.” ‘Begin Again’ is my song version of a cliffhanger ending. Throughout the whole album, there have been songs about the trials and tribulations of love and loss, and there at the end of the record it starts all over. As soon as I wrote that song, I knew exactly where I wanted to put it.”

Now, I don’t think this means Begin Again is about Liz. I think it means that Liz is the past relationship in the song, and Dianna is the present. And Liz actually has a song called “Good About Her” that kind of mirrors Begin Again and I find that HILARIOUS and also kind of a smoking gun.

26 October 2012 -Taylor goes on Katie Couric. Katie asks if Taylor’s ex in WANEGBT got the message and Taylor says she “hasn’t heard from him since” and also mentions “some of my exes like to write really long emails.” Now, if the song is about Liz, this is a lie, because she definitely did get lunch with Liz after WANEGBT came out. However, I think it’s fair that what she’s hinting here is that things did not end well in that messy relationship.

25 October 2012 - Liz quote tweets Caitlin about crying on the treadmill to All Too Well :

8 November 2012 - Liz releases Never Know on YouTube:

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The lyrics that make me think this is about Taylor are the “now and then I catch myself singing your old song.” ESPECIALLY in the context of that treadmill tweet and Liz probably having written this during her Nashville sessions over the summer. However, it could also be about Jason, who, as we know, was a struggling musician before he became a photographer.

18 November 2012 - Taylor shoots the MV for IKYWT, wears the same black and white shirt she wore around when Liz first joined the band. Liz calls the news of her leaving the Agency “bittersweet.”

And “bittersweet” is the exact same phrasing that around a week later Taylor would say the ex who most of Red is about used to describe listening to the album:

19 November 2012 - Ali Puliti tweets about listening to two Liz demos -- Blessed Are the Brokenhearted and Dammit, meaning this song, which wouldn’t be released until 2018, was likely written during those summer 2012 songwriting sessions:

When the song was eventually released by Jana Kramer in 2018, Liz posted this on Facebook:

The song also notably contains the lyric “cause I could hear you in the kitchen, playing your guitar” which REALLY REALLY makes me think of Taylor. Although it could maybe be for Jason, who was also a musician.

Here’s the story Liz told about the song:

“‘Dammit’, actually, was a story that I lived out. Like, I was with somebody I was, you know, getting very serious. We were talking about starting a life together and we even had this house, like, picked out in the city where we lived and we would drive by it and be like ‘one day when we buy that house’. And, so, when we broke up, the pain of, like, saying goodbye was really, you know, really intense, but it was also mourning the loss of the hypothetical future. So, it was like saying goodbye to the past memories and stuff, sort of what we almost had and that’s where that song came from. So, honestly, I didn’t write it for anyone else, but myself, truly. But, um, it’s beautiful that music has such a way of resonating with someone who might not even know and they connect with it so much that another artist would want to sing it. It’s such a high compliment.”

And here’s a quick clip of Liz singing it. So, seems like a Jason song, if not for the fact that she wrote it almost a year after they broke up and kept it hidden for years before eventually giving it to another artist.

13 December 2012 - Taylor’s birthday. Liz does not wish her happy birthday. This, to me, is the biggest evidence that there’s some amount of bad blood between them at this point.

14 December 2012 - The Music Video for IKYWT comes out. Taylor wears a shirt she wore a LOT when TayLiz was first a thing in 2009. She also wears a key necklace, which will be important later.

17 December 2012 - Liz posts a picture from Claire’s birthday party using a picture without Taylor in it (even though it seems fair to assume Taylor would’ve been invited).

20 December 2012 - Liz tells a fan her favorite song from Red is All Too Well:

21 December 2012 - Liz wishes Claire happy birthday. Further signaling bad blood with her and Taylor since she didn’t bother to do it for Taylor.

9 January 2013 - Liz releases Blessed Are the Brokenhearted:

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Here she describes love as “burning up out of control” which is the same phrase Taylor used on Red -- “burning red” -- and Begin Again -- “I’ve been spending the last eight months thinking all love ever does is break and burn and end.” Also, the idea of love as an out of control flame really does describe their relationship.

20 January 2013 - Liz releases One Hand on the Wheel:

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Here, much like in Red, Liz describes a relationship using the metaphor of a car. The relationship is messy, maybe even toxic. There’s even a lyric that sounds like it could be out of treacherous: “Being wrong shouldn’t feel so right like it does / But it does.”

22 January 2013 - Liz releases Wreck of Who I Am.

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This is the song that is the strongest evidence for me that Liz WAS going through some mental health stuff over the summer when she was doing all this songwriting, and that that Reddit post about running into a drunk Liz who said she was fired for being “out of control” seems somewhat accurate. Here Liz sings about her battles, the way she’s losing them, and asks her younger self what she would think if she saw her now.

I’m not going to go into too much detail on Liz and Bryan (since unlike her and Jason there’s no need to use them to say much about TayLiz) but, despite his flaws, he was the person to pick Liz up off the ground when she was feeling this way, so he should get some credit for that.

Sometime around this - Liz releases Stones. Similar upbeat nature to Blessed Are the Brokenhearted with mentions to some of the struggles of Wreck of Who I Am.

Choice Lyrics:

When you’re knocked off your throne And lying on your back Things will never be so clear Cause when you see it all like that Sooner or later it comes around Yeah we all taste that bitter truth But all the stones you’re throwing now Will be the ones they throw at you

Also with these batch of songs, we get Sun Out of the Rain:

So baby, hold on, the storm will roll away It may be pouring down, but it’s only for today A million pieces might be falling into place And when there are no words to say We’ll make the sun out of the rain

29 January 2013 - Chantelle Paige posts a picture of Liz and Taylor and talks about a “sad night turned awesome.” Once again, I think this is a throwback from that night in 2012.

2 April 2013 - Liz goes to therapy. Her and Bryan are dating at this point.

2 September 2013 - Liz tells a fan on twitter that she hasn’t been to any of the Red shows, which to me definitely backs up that fan account of Liz being bitter about being fired.

23 December 2013 - Liz wishes Taylor Happy Birthday. This seems like a peace offering to me, considering they haven’t spoken in like a year and she refused to do this the earlier year. Also worth noting that Swiftgron is on its last legs at this point.

1 March 2014 - Sara Evans releases Put My Heart Down, which was co-written by Liz and is about walking away from a toxic relationship:

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Now, from what I know of Liz and Jason, this doesn’t seem like their dynamic at all. It’s too soon for it to be about her and Bryan However, it does remind me a LOT of what Taylor was writing about on Red. Her are some choice lyrics:

I never pictured us fighting this much Thought we were figured out, but it’s so messy now Your words cut so deep and I think you should leave

Put my heart down and walk away This kind of love is dangerous So pack up all your things, just leave some air to breathe A million toxic tears fallin’ like rain over here This is the final hour The end of our story tonight And I don’t wanna fight

Now, please go listen to Treacherous, Battle/Let’s Go and Story of Us and tell me this is not the same relationship.

Bonus though, this song is copyrighted for 2014, making it make even LESS SENSE for it to be written about Bryan.

17 July 2014 - Timothy James Brown releases a song called Change My Mind that was co-written by Liz. I’m out of video links, so here are some choice lyrics:

All the horses became soldiers Dark as night to drag me away A complicated kind of heartbreak When you promise somebody you’ll stay

I know you’ve been hurting I know more than most I don’t have the courage Where you’re going, I can’t follow

To me, this reads as Liz making peace with leaving the Agency. She recognizes her demons, and how they ruined her relationship with Taylor, and says “where you’re going, I can’t follow” because she’s not in a good enough place to keep touring with Taylor.

So things are looking bleak in TayLiz land. However, Liz seems to be recovering! She’s writing songs acknowledging some problems in the relationship and her own battles, and she’s also in therapy and dating Bryan. It’s time for some reconciliation. But first, let’s see what’s up in Taylor-land:

Liz References on the Red Tour

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brujahinaskirt · 4 years ago

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@missn11 says:

Ask and ye shall receive, fellow neonate! <3 Bear with me, because I’m about to hammer out 2000 words very quickly...

This massive rant by its topic nature is sort of Nines-critical, so lemme start by saying that, in my own way, I love Rodriguez. (I was partially self-burning in the shitpost that ignited this rant because I SEVERELY exaggerated Nines’s canonical shadiness levels in my ancient fanfiction, and for no other reason than because I was a teenage edgelord. I am appropriately embarrassed, but only by my excess and melodrama, not by Troika’s characterization. I think the writing behind VTMB’s Nines is superb.)

When it comes to Bloodlines, I think he’s one of the most psychologically interesting profiles in the game. In fact, I could never get into LA by Night because they so de-toothed Troika’s vision of him. Not to say LA by Night’s Nines was a poorly-developed character in his own right, ‘cause he wasn’t at all, but “my” Nines will always be unapologetically and only Troika’s: boiling angry, viciously pragmatic, a survivor who doesn’t let anyone too close lest they see through him, whose over-the-top confident façade cracks a little more every time his back’s against the wall. Troika’s Nines is the epitome of greater VTM’s “fallen rebel” archetype, and even though we don’t get to see it on all playthoughs, that makes it even better and more believable.

But as with all characterization in Bloodlines, we have to read between the lines and between our own play styles a bit to piece the truth of the puzzle together...

Besides the direct evidence Troika gives us—i.e. the music cues, which are a bit overbearing if I’m honest (sorry, Troika! ilu); the absence of Nines in Rosa’s prophecy re: people you can trust; and the overt warnings Camarilla-aligned characters give us about him—the biggest red flag about Rodriguez, imo? It’s twofold:

the way the characters he surrounds himself with talk about him and the type of vampire he chooses to fill his den. Namely: Nines exclusively recruits angry, spurned, mistreated people who are younger and far less experienced than he is

those messy, ugly, fleeting moments where you see his toughguy everyman personality crack

So! Starting with point one:

THE PERSONALITY CULT ITSELF

We can’t deny that Nines does not surround himself with peers. He surrounds himself with followers—people who don’t challenge him in any way, who are fanatically loyal, who openly profess their worship of him and their conviction he could never/would never do anything wrong. If you listen to how Damsel and Skelter talk about him, it’s with frightening adulation, often repeating Nines’s lines word-for-word without truly understanding the argumentation behind them. (Damsel’s the main offender here with her “IT’S A PYRAMID SCHEME… it just makes sense, you know? It just makes sense!” And then, of course, she gets pissed and refuses to speak to you when you push her into elaborating.)

Nines has clearly made himself much more than just a friend-figure or a Sire-figure to them. He’s utterly and completely mythologized by the LA Anarchs, held up next to other politically mythologized names like George Washington and Ho Chi Minh. His followers love him… but there’s a pecking order, and like good body shields, they believe their lives don’t matter as much as he matters. And they love that, too. They want to die for Nines. They’re not just willing to or resigned to it; they’re eager to die. Damsel will volunteer this information the first time you meet her. She just can’t wait to prove herself by taking a bullet for goddamn Nines Rodriguez. It’s literally how she introduces herself to new people.

And yet Nines deliberately withholds his attention and time from his followers. He uses his attention as a reward, as incentive. He rations some care and reassurance and help—makes you feel good and gives you reason to crave his attention—and then he pushes you away, back into his adoring ranks until the next “two minutes” you earn from him in which you’re special enough for such an exceptional, important, cool guy to talk to. That’s a classic manipulation tactic, and a classic personality cult tell.

And Troika is so damn fuckin’ brilliant about it because they don’t stop at showing us that an Anarch-aligned fledgling might feel this way—no, they make the PLAYER also feel this way. On our first playthrough of Bloodlines, we’re desperate to talk to Nines. We want the reward. “Let me finish the plaguebearer quests… let me run to the Elizabeth Dane… I hope Nines talks to me again now! Quick, to the Last Round! Maybe if I say the right thing to make him like me, he’ll give me another free EXPERIENCE POINT!” (iirc he’s one of two characters who will do so, and the only one who gives multiple points.)

But at the end of the day, Nines is indisputably the leader of the Anarchs, and even fledgling figures that out. (“Sounds like you’re the Prince of the Anarchs.”) He’s very much the Baron of Downtown LA, even if he won’t use that language. As for the grating day-to-day management and leadership stuff that might make him somewhat unpopular among the Anarchs, though? He fobs all that stuff off on Damsel!

Damsel, his Minion No. 1—whom a lot of players will hate on their early playthroughs, because she assigns tough missions with little to no reward. Damsel, who has no real power role in the Anarchs and functions only to serve Nines. You help Damsel, and you do Nines’s work—i.e. you do the work of the Barony of LA—and he doesn’t even have to take the admiration hit by having to ask you himself.

There’s only one non-follower of note around Nines. It’s Jack, and by his own words, he’s not one of Nines’s people; he disparages them, in fact. And we’ll notice that Jack—who is stronger, older, and wiser than Nines—very much doesn’t talk about Nines the same way Nines’s followers do. While Jack doesn’t directly insult him and occasionally defends him, Jack also has a downright shocking response to the announcement of the Blood Hunt. When fledgling desperately asks what they can do to help Nines—Jack says, word-for-word: I could give a damn.

Something ain’t quite right about this place.

Moving right along:

NINES IS A FAKE ALPHA MALE WHO KNOWS HE’S GOING TO DIE

Part of why Nines is so attractive to someone scared and weak like our fledgling (or Skelter or Damsel) is that he seems utterly fucking untouchable—like nothing scares him, and that must be reassuring when two of your age-old enemies are moving into town. But Nines’s tough, cool, Devil-may-care persona outs itself as a protective shell, too… and this is another thing I think Troika handled so subtly and so well.

You’ll notice that even Nines’s voice is dramatically different in a couple different situations: when Ming Xiao is borrowing his body, when he’s afraid, and when he’s distracted or deeply disturbed. (A successful Malkavian mind read will really slam a crack in his coolguy persona. For a second, the nonchalance shatters and he childishly screams SHUT UP!)

But whether you Malk him or not: In those isolated moments, the Coolguy Nines Rodriguez we normally see frays. Physically, even! His accent loses its burr (that ballsy rural American everyman accent), shoots up to a higher register—and reveals a much softer voice than the one he uses in front of other people. No wonder; part of Nines’s charisma comes from his performance of masculine confidence, and even if it’s not a toxically patriarchal masculinity in the way we often picture it, the fact this performance cracks at all shows it’s not his genuine self. He’s acting. In the way a lot of toughguy men do—but for Nines, whose survival depends upon attraction now, he’s acting toughguy for his very life.

I think those little fray-under-pressure moments are the “real” Nines, or as close as we’re going to get: scared, desperate, worn-down, and very aware of his doom.

Now, all that said…

BLATANT FALLEN REBEL CONCEPT APOLOGISM

I don’t think we can quite throw Rodriguez into the same Mean Monster Morality Dungeon for Evil Vampires as other Big Bads in LA. This is where motivation comes into play, at least for me. We know Nines can be merciless and violent, and he doesn’t hesitate to sacrifice his own soldiers (namely, um, US!) to protect his holdings. But he does seem to have a twinge of genuine anger over injustices wrought upon “little people” (look no further than Nocturne)—one that seems like it stems from a sense of right v. wrong rather than sheer pragmatism. This stands in stark opposition to the rationed pacificism of characters like LaCroix, who simply doesn’t want the headache of cleaning up a pile of dead humans on his nightly to-do list.

Nines also, of course, just doesn’t have the same kind of disaster reach other Bloodlines Big Bads do in how much harm he can cause. When LaCroix gets up to some bullshit, he crashes the national economy. Nines, like, crashes a car into a corporate office window or takes over a street or something. Can’t really compare the two when it comes to the scale of damage done.

And even Nines Rodriguez is, for all his strategy, still an honestly angry person. Not all of him is fake—what’s troubling about him is what he’s willing to sacrifice and do to satiate his anger-passion. It’s the standard Brujah emotional-moral struggle. Even though I agree with much of what he says about bloodsucking late capitalist vampires (tbh he seems to hate vampires in general!), one wonders if it’s not partially the anger-passion that’s warped him into the façade of a noble leader he’s become. It’s not a pure anger anymore; he’s weaponized it in selfish, unhealthy, destructive ways.

But if he’s a fallen rebel—and since he is still apparently capable of some genuine anger and sadness—then we can infer he wasn’t always like this. He fell, and narratively, that’s key to understanding Clan Brujah. Maybe he fell in a way all of us angry rebel-types risk falling if we let our hatred of the bloodsuckers in real life outgrow and consume our care for the real-world little people.

I think we also have to appreciate that—as far as we know—the shady shit Nines does, he primarily does to prolong his power. But for a threatened Anarch like Nines, power doesn’t mean expansion or accumulation as it might for an ascending Ventrue; it primarily means survival. The Camarilla and Kuei-jin incursions into LA have numbered his days, and he can’t possibly have any delusions about this, no matter how much he swaggers. So he does what he can do with the skills and limited resources he has. He corrupts vulnerable, angry, abused people by giving them the appearance of friendship, family, and hope they can become stronger—much like effective gang leaders do.

If he’s morally nastier than other power-players like LaCroix in some way, imo, it’s here. It’s the intimacy with which he manipulates the people around him. LaCroix may lie to you; Strauss may withhold information from you; Ming Xiao may double-cross you. But none of them ask that you love them. That’s not their goal; that’s not how they operate. None of them expect or encourage anyone to happily die for them of their own free will. If they get you killed, you’ll die resenting them—resenting that you had to die, at all.

But when you die for people like Nines Rodriguez, you do it willingly, if only because you believed he cared somehow and that he’d fight tooth-and-nail for you, too. You believed that you were a member of his little outcast family—or that you would be, if you just proved yourself a little bit more. If you just fought a little harder. If you were just a little happier about having the chance to die for the cause. Maybe if you die for Nines, then Nines will love you, too.

I don’t think he does. I don’t think he will. If he’s a true fallen rebel archetype, I don’t know if he can anymore.

That’s enough Anarchs for now! I’m gonna peace out with some copy/pasted lyrics from the theme song of Nines’s den: the ballad of the charming and vengeful Lecher Bitch. Stay sharp, my little Bloodlines fanatics!

Tell me your story Don't worry, I've been there Crown me your savior Don't worry, I'll be there

[Chorus] I said hey You're coming all the way I've got some hell to pay I'm diggin' all the way All the way down I said hey You're coming all the way I've got some hell to pay Gonna rip you every way On the way down again [Bridge] Don't belong lording above me Won't be hard to pull you underground It won't be long 'til you love me And I'll be coming at your back To break it down

#vtmb #vampire the masquerade bloodlines #nines rodriguez #tune in next week for my 5 page essay on why Wong Ho is the only nice person in Bloodlines!#not really #but maybe really #in conclusion nines ain't shit [drops mic]#[is mauled by damsel]

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lulusoblue · 3 years ago

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this isn’t me vagueing or anything, or I’m not intending to because people have previously expressed the same of what I’m about to rant on, and I don’t want to @ or refer to any blog specifically for reigniting my bafflement of this take because this isn’t a personal grudge match against anyone, just a general *what* of this concept, but

jesus h christ on a stick, why do people want BioShock Infinite’s Elizabeth to have been a racist?

I get an AU fic of another timeline where Comstock’s motives weren’t messy as fuck and he didn’t just plan to force his messiah with a spinal shock collar from the word go, like “what if” stuff, but like saying she should have been racist in the original game and actually wanting this change because it would “improve” her character?

like, disclaimer because I am a white woman who may not have a say in things like this anyway, but honestly the racism angle was a huge mistake in Infinite in the first place, and should never have been done in this game because the lead writer is a white man and I can bet my bottom dollar he most likely did not consult anyone on race or racism beyond what historically accurate heinous racist acts to not depict in the game so players could “sympathise” with the flying racists getting their dues post-Finkton.

You know how important the racism of Columbia is to him? How relevant is it to the ending of the game? Answer: it isn’t. BioShock 1’s ending has the failings of Rapture relevant to the ending regarding the player’s choices. The ending of Infinite, however, focuses on Elizabeth, Booker and the multiverse, where nobody mentions the Vox or how Columbia was a failure or anything. Nothing with the Vox Populi or Columbia’s hubris is linked to the game’s ending. Both are left feeling superfluous. It was just something to stick into the background rather than be a story element that properly tied in with the story’s real focus. If you wanted Levine to write a better racism story I would have to ask you why??? Do you trust him to?????

What reason was there that we switched from extreme nationalism and its consequences in the demos as late as 2012 to “racism bad but the victims of it are also bad if they fight back” in 2013? Who fucking knows. Probably shock value, because I don’t see how time and resources would cause such a change from what Irrational put out there in interviews leading up to release. Given how Levine tried to retcon Daisy’s story in Burial at Sea (and keep in mind Black Lives Matter didn’t start as a movement until a few months after Infinite’s release and before BaS Episode 2 was released) he certainly didn’t commit to “Daisy and Comstock are the same”. If he had conviction for his “both sides” story, he wouldn’t have tried to rewrite it to Daisy choosing to play monster as a necessary sacrifice for her cause (which itself is its own can of worms with how it now plays out).

Considering as well how we had that article revealing how long it took to get a playable build out of Irrational thanks to Levine’s lack of solid direction, as well as the recent revelation that he had never read Ayn Rand when making a game about a city BUILT ON HER IDEOLOGY, I’m pretty sure the poor writing around Columbia’s racism and the Vox Populi in the final game was just made up as he went along to push out a finished product, because it had been five years at that point and 2k was piiiiiiissed.

Then we have how Elizabeth is your companion character, your escort mission. Friends, do you know how escort mission characters were viewed back pre-2013? Bad. The AI could just look at a player funny and they’d draw a 5 page comic on how awful a character they were and post it to deviantart. One of the worst levels in BioShock was when we had to escort a very killable Little Sister with a fishbowl filter on our FOV, and one of the major complaints people had with BioShock 2 was how they had an OPTIONAL escort mission to get more mutation juice. We didn’t start getting games with escort characters like Elizabeth or Clementine or Ellie, characters people actually cared about and WANTED to protect, until around 2012-2013.

You think the people creating Elizabeth, the escort mission character built to be a likeable, enjoyable to be with and empathise with her character, who can never get hurt or kidnapped in combat and actively helps the player, should have had her been a racist??? In a post-Mass Effect world??????

Ashley Williams is a woman from a military family. She is a proud member of the Alliance military who has concerns on working with aliens after having had no prior experience working with aliens. However, you can ease those concerns and help her warm up to building alliances in the first Mass Effect game. Ashley grows to trust alien squadmates, and even without your character’s influence will regard two anti-alien groups with disgust for their outright racism and human centrism.

And here’s the kicker, even with that nuance to her character, in a game of plenty of other more overtly racist and prejudiced characters? ASHLEY IS STILL THE BUTT OF THE SPACE RACISM JOKES. She had flaws, she developed, she proves her loyalties to the point of refusing to work with you when you’re forced to join one of the human centric groups, AND SHE’S STILL MOCKED FOR SPACE RACISM. EVEN IN PROMOTIONAL MATERIAL SHE’S RETROACTIVELY REGARDED AS BEING DIFFICULT TO WORK WITH. THAT IS HOW MUCH THE FANDOM AROUND MASS EFFECT HAS AFFECTED HOW ASHLEY IS SEEN.

And you want Infinite to have Elizabeth be very obviously racist with real life racism? (which is the vibe i’ve been getting) Like, you think all the people behind Elizabeth’s design, her game functionality, her interactions and personality, would give players ammunition to hate a character you’re supposed to enjoy having around on purpose? You think they’re going to give the actual racists and bigots and nazis of the internet a mascot????? Because we already had the facebook header image debacle for a Columbian propaganda poster, you KNOW they would.

And personally I don’t think it would make great character development, because the game is not in the format for that kind of exploration of character’s story. BioShock Infinite is not an RPG with you making dialogue choices with squadmates where you feel like you really influenced them to see the error of their ways. Infinite is a linear shooter. There is no real sense of the passage of time in a linear shooter, the player will experience it like it really doesn’t happen in the span of 20 hours.

Unlearning racism and religious brainwashing is not a quick fixit, and a quick fixit is how it would feel in the 20-40 hours you take to play through the entire game. If Infinite had had Elizabeth going from “I’m racist” to “*sees a black person suffering* maybe racism is wrong???” to “i am no longer racist, I see the error of my ways, you can like me now” in the span of what feels like less than a day to players in a linear game, people would be super critical of the pretty white girl getting cured of her bigotry way too quickly and how the game makes it like we’re supposed to applaud her for being so brave and mature and open-minded, and how much Levine really doesn’t understand nuance or anything about how internalised racism works.

BioShock Infinite’s final release proved that the Vox Populi should not have been handled the way they were. Yes, more media should be discussing and making audiences aware of what is racist, and how irrational it really is when you get down to it, but BioShock Infinite should not have been that media. It was originally written for two opposing sides in a city built on extreme nationalism, much like how BioShock was for objectivism, and then changed relatively last minute. It was written by a white man who’d already written the franchise’s only gay named character as a horrific monster of a man (Cohen) and has expressed how autism is what made a person evil (Tenenbaum). It was written with Elizabeth in mind, a main character who was literally designed to be an escort mission players would actually enjoy, most likely from Day 1 given how much behind the scenes stuff we know of her.

I wouldn’t trust someone like Levine to write a story of a character unlearning racism over the course of a game’s story, i don’t think he should ever have touched a story where racism is a such a prominent element with a 100 foot pole.

#in which i rant #bioshock #bioshock infinite #elizabeth comstock

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hot-mess-choices · 4 years ago

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Fixing The Nanny Affair

I’ve had it with this book. I’m not against “naughty” romance novels, but please do them right. I beg you.

This stuff has been in my brain for a while now so this will be long and messy.

First up: this isn’t a single LI book anymore. That’s a train wreck of a concept for an app that’s basically an overpriced choose-your-own-adventure book.

Who would the LIs be?

Starting with the obvious: Sam, who will remain gender customisable as the “main LI”

Next is Robin (duh) I’m on the fence regarding their gender but I’d stick with the “whatever gender Sam is” thing.

Then I’d suggest two entirely new characters:

First addition: An intern at Dalton Enterprise (how this is relevant will follow later on), I’d prefer this character to be female (definitely not to make an all wlw book possible *cough*) but a male intern would also be okay I guess. (Alternatively whichever gender is opposite of the MC)

And 2. *drumroll please* Sam’s wife who’s not dead at all in this new and improved version. ‘Cause that’s how you write about an actual affair Pixleberry, you cowards! I’m so sick of authors using the dead spouse trope without doing anything with it. She deserves to be in this story. However she’d be a “surprise” late entry as it’s important to the story to build tensions.

Who’s the MC

The MC, gender customisable of course, is still a recent graduate with a degree in chemistry and a passion for science. They do not, however, go to Dalton Enterprise to get a Job as a Nanny, no, they are on their way to interview for an illustrious internship!

The Story

The story starts of the same. MC has a sexy dream about their (hopefully) new boss, however you get dialogue options to feel very weirded out by that. Not only is that your future boss, they are also happily married as the gossip magazine you browsed the night before suggests. Sam and their wife are a business power couple (think the Beckhams or BrAngelina rip) and get an insane amount of media coverage.

It comes to MCs attention that they’ve overslept and rush to Dalton Enterprise. A receptionist tell them that they are too late and the position is already taken. Enter Sam and Intern LI who worships the ground Sam walks on and thanks them profoundly for this once in a lifetime opportunity. Sam notices MC and asks if they are the no show, Intern LI takes a light jab at their tardiness; you get the option to flirt with them. (Intern LI is basically something like Jaylen from Platinum or Aurora from OH, but done right and a LI. Rivals to lovers? We love to see it!) Sam asks if MC is still interested in an interview because they might have a position in mind for them.

The interview is beyond weird with Sam asking for the MC’s thoughts on children, about their living situation etc. Eventually you get to call them out on that and they confess that they only have company funds for one intern and even though the MCs application was a standout and their personal favourite, they can’t hire them. That’s where they propose a compromise: MC becomes their Nanny, as they are in need of one due to recent changes in their personal life, and they get to pay them out of their own pocket. The MC gets the opportunity to work at Dalton Enterprise on the days she doesn’t have to watch the kids.

As you accept you wonder why that is, but don’t dare to question them further as you don’t want to seem ungrateful. That night you come by the apartment to meet the boys, who in this version are a bit more weary of you, but you bond over a chemistry experiment. After they are put to bed you get to the office scene with Sam. You ask when you’ll meet their wife and that’s where you find out what’s really going on here. Sam and their wife are having troubles, severe enough that she packed up and moved out a few months ago. They are trying to work things out but it looks bad. Not only is their personal life affected by this, their relationship is a huge part of their respective public image and even just saying the word divorce out loud makes them see Dalton’s numbers drop into the red. They still keep up appearances, stayed on good terms for the twins but this is just a partnership of convenience by this point and secretly they’re both sick of it. They got married straight out of college, had the twins by their mid-twenties and are approaching their tenth wedding anniversary, the spark’s gone and they crave something new and exciting but are too scared to move on from the known.

Character Arcs

1. Sam: They are a huge science nerd at heart, they never held big business ambitions and are mostly in it to help improve people’s quality of life. If it were up to them they’d slave away in a lab, happily isolated from the stress of public relations. Years of training went into their suave persona, but deep down they are still an insecure dork. Sam is struggling to adapt to the changes in their life and can’t bring themselves to take that leap of faith and start a new chapter. Their arc would include cutting back at work and focusing on the things they’re passionate about like lab work and spending more time with the twins. With a romanced MC their story would be loaded with tensions of Sam clinging to the past. MC feels like the unfavourable side-piece as long as Sam keeps the facade of their marriage up and the constant threat of their relationship becoming public lingers over everything. In addition there’s the question of Sam’s true motives. Is this just a convenient rebound or more?

2. The Twins: Mason and Mickey have a hard time dealing with their parents’ separation. Their pranks are more channelled into “parent trapping” them into getting back together. They don’t really understand their parents separation of public and private life and are mostly confused by how hot and cold they are with each other. After their initial scepticism towards MC they see them as a confidant with their problems. MC gets to champion for the twins needs and force Sam and their wife to see how much their behaviour is hurting their kids.

3. Robin: Robin’s been living in Sam’s shadow for all their life and they are so sick of it. Everything they have feels like a constant fight, every snippet of appreciation or recognition is earned through blood, sweat and tears and still not good enough to measure up to their older sibling. They built this careful ‘I don’t care’ façade and have kept it up for all their life. That is until they meet MC. They bond pretty quickly over their struggles to reach unreachable expectations and find a close confidante in one another. Depending on the players choices this will be a friendship or a romance. As Sam’s arc comes to a close with them cutting back at work Robin finally gets to step up and do what they always wanted. They are quick-witted, extroverted, business savvy and well connected. Unrecognised by their father they’ve been the better candidate for the position Sam was in all along.

4. Intern LI: From the get go they aren’t a big fan of the MC. In their eyes, they’ve worked for all the life to get where they are now and feel like the MC was just handed their position. MC and Intern are aware that they are basically two people working a one-person job and are both trying to be the best at it. You get the option to play into this rivalry or make it a team effort. Getting closer you find out that your background isn’t so different after all and that it’s silly to try and hold the other one back. Their love language is still very teasing and snippy but never without an affectionate smile and rare but genuine compliments will come later in the friendship/relationship. A big setback is when they find out that you are living with Sam and they far that that’s an inevitable unfair advantage for you, which it is, but they learn to trust their abilities more than others connections.

5. Sam’s Wife: You’ll first meet her maybe five or six chapters in. Up until then she’s build up to be this perfect, idealised, flawless being. She’s supposedly fearless, fought to be in the position she’s in now, a self-made woman who turns everything she touches into pure gold. As you meet her you are more than intimidated but she’s just pleasant to be around! A ray of sunshine, positive to the bone. You get the option to ask about her and Sam and she sadly has to admit that sometimes people just fall out of love. She tells MC that she needs Sam to move on, so she can move on and nudges them into their direction. Her romance heavily focuses on her fear of leaving Sam behind in her progress but she can’t help her feeling. Her arc in general focuses on recognising Sam and herself as individuals and not two parts of a whole.

This is crazy long already, but just some major events the story would cover:

A company picnic

The ten-year wedding anniversary

A Dalton Enterprise charity gala

Telling Sam’s parents about their future

Insides on the work at Dalton

Time with the twins

Sorry for the long post, thanks for reading this far!

#playchoices #choices #choices stories you play #The Nanny Affair #choices tna #tna

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tarithenurse · 5 years ago

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The good Villain - 4

Based on the prompt “You’re the villain and you know that you just want the ‘good guys’ to understand why”

Pairing:Loki x Fem!Reader (eventually) Content: Slight angst and sadness due to trauma, sexual innuendos. A/N: I’ll be updating more frequently because I’m a slut for feedback and I can’t wait to show what’s in line for you all :D Thanks for all the wonderful responses and reblogs! Seeing your names appear with each post makes me really happy.

Chapter 4

… Reader …

As days trickle by, you start to gather an idea of who your new prison guards are while they each take turn watching and “sneakily” questioning you. A few come close to something akin to subtlety (a female called Natasha, and a male with an interesting left arm), but they too have the disadvantage of interrogating someone who has nothing to hide.

“You admit to killing innocents…dozens of families on and off Earth?”

The tall blond male, most often referred to as Captain by the others, is leaning heavily against the glass. Fists balled tightly and chest heaving. He, at least, would never succeed in a game of subtlety. Too righteous. Now you have to listen to another of his rants about right and wrong and innocent lives taken – as if you had done anything but come in and clean up the damage done by pests.

“Oh, Captain, Captain,” you sing-song as you bend into another stretch, “haven’t you read any of the report?”

At this he pauses to look at you but finding your behind to be the most prominent point he neatly turns aside with a blush – a Terran response you have come to appreciate. “IF by report you mean the notes you’ve written? Th–“

“Of course that is what I mean because that is what they are.”

“They’re claims without proof!” Abashed by his own exclamation, he calms down a bit. “Besides…we haven’t translated it all yet.”

Now that makes more sense. “The Asgardians should be helpful there. Once the brothers have done their bit, I am sure you will be busy cross-referencing any statements with intergalactic records thus proving me…right.” Satisfied that you can not make the poor Terran change his facial colour further, you saunter up to the glass. “The longer the investigation lasts, the longer the threat will rage unchecked. Go-go.”

You watch him leave, tight-lipped and with broad shoulders shaking from pent-up frustration, before turning to the airlock where Captain had placed a meal upon arrival. As always, you ignore the bottle of water and turn your attention to the other items on the tray: cuts of bread with stuff in between (the wrapping claims it is a Sandwich), a fruit, and for the first time a puffed up bag. Even through the packaging, you can smell the salt, tempting you to devour those first. Would they poison me? Turning the little package in your hands, you cannot find any signs the wrapping has been compromised.

“I figured you would like those,” Loki’s voice informs you endearingly, “as an alternative to your own stash.”

You shoot him a quick glance where he stands by the comfortable looking chair, but his face in unreadable. “And I assume you want something in return?”

“Consider it a gift,” he smirks, “out of the kindness of my heart.”

Rather than eat in front of the male, you lazily reinvestigate the corners of your cage for the millionth time, poignantly filling up the silence with nothing. Two can play at that game, experience tells. Of these people, these Avengers, quite a few have mastered the concept of waiting for an opponent to talk to end the awkwardness instead of wasting time asking the wrong questions. You first, you will Loki silently.

“If you could break out, you would already have done so,” he yawns, giving in to a long stretch that shows off an unoffendable physique, “not only that…why let yourself be taken in in the first place?”

“Little me? Against all of you? Why waste the energy like that if I can get your help instead?”

The last part is neither meant nor received as a question.

A dark gleam dances in his pretty eyes as he gingerly steps up to the glass. “You’d hoped for the same when your own people came for the arrest.” Long fingers draw unseen figures on the barrier, but it feels like it could have been along your spine judging by the shivers racing along your skin. “No fight then either…why should we believe you now if they didn’t?”

Sneaky bastard. It is clear that at least one of your captors has gotten further studying and verifying you report than the others…unless Captain is a much better liar than you initially have taken him for. Nope, this is the one to play.

“I suppose…I thought you were smarter…” It is with glee you see Loki’s mouth twitch. “Less…blind to the facts.”

… Loki …

“Their dried out minds still cannot see the patterns!” he snaps a second too soon.

Oh, she’s good. It is difficult to gain the upper hand in a conversation with the Betan, and as much as it riles him up it also pleases Loki immensely. With perfectly groomed innocence, she has baited and caught him, causing him to reveal his own weakness in the process of showing off just how intelligent he is.

“Ohh, not only are you looking under every rock…” Her voice is sweetened sin. “You already see the shape of the monster hiding there…and it is not me.” The most delightful giggle escapes the lips. “Tell me, what do you know?”

No peace is left when he steps up as close as possible, their palms only separated by the glass that freezes over in gasps to obscure [Y/N]’s face from his sight. Get a grip. Schooling himself, it takes a moment longer than he would like to admit to calm down. Frustration? Anger? It hardly matters as long as it no longer controls him except…those ever-black eyes hold him so well.

“The missing vessels from the colony…the research station. You tracked them down.” For once she actually seems impressed, although the Asgardian notices something else too which he sets his mind to uncover later. “You followed in their wake as far as you could, am I wrong?” Not giving time to respond, Loki continues with a dismissal wave of the hand. “Half of the notes are crude calculations to establish the most likely course to a next target-planet while some of the rest are a tally and I dare say it’s of the monsters you hunt! The ones that killed your crew!”

He has been too swept up relaying the knowledge privy only to him that he only now notices [Y/N] has slid to the ground, knees tugged to the chest and at least one arm slung bracingly around to hold herself in. To prevent her from falling apart. Short clipped nails are digging through messy locks the colour of Asgard’s waters on a bright day. Listening carefully, Loki hears the first broken sob.

“It…it’s true then.”

A needless comment but what else can he say? That he will help her set it right? Make the Avengers understand and aid as well? Nothing can lessen the pain, share the burden that has driven her wildly while holding her down by its weight.

“What have you done?!” Her sobs are broken by terror, and for a moment Loki actually fears he may have caused her some sort of harm. “I am leaking!”

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ft-dads-au · 5 years ago

Text

Spellbound - Chapter 2

Shadowlight Week 2020 Prompt: Fall Pairing: Sting x Rogue

A Collaboration by @mdelpin and @oryu404

AO3 | Prev: Ch 1

Chapter 2: Fall

The sound of the backpack zipper opening seemed louder than it should due to the library being so silent, but the guy in front of Rogue didn’t seem to notice, muttering to himself as he emptied what must have been half its contents in search of something.

Rogue watched in silent fascination as a small pile of receipts, empty food wrappers, used paper products, and a few jewels of loose change littered the previously pristine table, finally ending when the desired item was found. A familiar book, one which he had just put away in his own neatly organized backpack, sat in front of the stranger.

Foreign accent, tall, blond, wearing crop tops… As Rogue observed him more closely, he was excited to realize he’d seen this guy before.

“You’re in my Bio class!”

“Really? I didn’t notice, classes here are so much bigger than I’m used to. The name is Sting Eucliffe,” he extended his hand out to Rogue in greeting, waiting patiently for him to shake it.

Rogue was amused by the formality, but he shook it nonetheless, figuring it must be more common wherever he was from.

“I’m Rogue Fullbuster,” he introduced himself, “Nice to meet you.��

“Same!” Sting beamed, again with that smile that was brighter than Rogue’s future, “Did you already do the worksheet?”

Rogue groaned, putting his head on the table for dramatic effect. The sound of Sting’s laughter surrounded him, making him lift his head again to see what Sting looked like when he laughed. Rogue should probably shush him, but he didn’t want to.

“It’s not that bad,” Sting commented, opening the book to the chapter Rogue had just closed.

“Easy for you to say,” Rogue grumbled, “I’m a creative writing major, all this stuff is just gibberish to me.”

Sting gazed at him in surprise, “Why are you even taking it?”

“It was the only open class that would fulfill the requirement,” Rogue sighed, cursing himself yet again for waiting til the last minute to pick his classes.

“That’s rough,” Sting commiserated, “I can try help you if you want?”

“That would be amazing!”

“Sure,” Sting grabbed his book and moved to the seat next to Rogue, once again sifting through the contents of the backpack that Rogue had begun to consider more of a trash bin until he retrieved his laptop and opened it.

While it was busy booting up, Rogue got distracted by the scent of whatever cologne or body spray Sting was wearing. It smelled nice, although he couldn’t put his finger on what it was. All he knew was that it was pressing buttons that should be left unpressed if he ever wanted to get that biology assignment done.

“I’m sorry, did you say something?” he finally managed to tear himself away from his thoughts when he realized Sting was talking to him.

Everything about this guy was just a little too something, too loud, too messy, too handsome, a little voice inside his head added smugly, and he certainly couldn’t deny it.

“I was just asking how far you got?” Sting asked once again, looking slightly amused.

“Honestly?” Rogue grimaced, hating to admit he was having so much trouble, “I entered my name?”

And there was that laugh again, warm and full of mirth, lifting Rogue’s previous mood effortlessly. “Okay, uhm, let’s start at the first problem then.”

Sting began to explain the concepts that minutes ago had been incomprehensible. To his amazement, Rogue found that once he was able to concentrate on the words rather than the man who was saying them and his cute accent, he was actually able to understand some of it. Sting never lost patience with him, only stopping once to chuckle, “Wow, you really suck at this,” before launching into another explanation.

An hour later, they had both finished the homework. Rogue looked out the large library windows, not at all surprised to see it was already dark.

“I don’t even know how to begin to thank you,” he admitted, “there was no way I would have gotten that done without your help. I feel like I should make it up to you somehow.”

Sting was about to reply when his stomach decided to do so for him. With a slight tint to his cheeks, he asked, “I don’t suppose you know any good places to eat around here? The food at the dorm kind of-”

“Sucks,” they both said in unison.

“Let me buy you dinner, it’s the least I can do,” Rogue suggested, even though they’d been working on homework it was the most fun he’d had in a long time.

“Alright, I gotta warn you though, I eat a lot,” Sting had already begun to stuff his book and laptop back into his backpack, along with all the other items that he’d piled on the table.

Rogue wasn’t too worried, he ate a lot also. He had already put his stuff away, so he led the way to the library exit, mildly surprised to see Sting hurry ahead of him to open the door, holding it open until Rogue walked through.

Well, that was considerate, Rogue thought, once again flashing to his dream and the traits his dream self had written on the strips of paper. What had they been?

Oh, yeah, that’s right. Rogue could remember quite clearly the one that said nice ass, but that wasn’t something he was just going to check out right here and now...

That thought lasted a whopping 3 seconds before Rogue could feel the corners of his lips tugging upwards because who was he kidding, he totally was. And it was easy enough to be subtle about it. All he had to do was reach for his pocket to grab his pack of cigarettes- which he was going to do anyway- and pretend he was making sure nothing would fall out when in reality, he was looking just a few extra inches to his side.

Yep, it was pretty nice, and the rest of him wasn’t bad either. Rogue cupped his hand around the cigarette sheltering it from the wind while he lit it, already considering where to go for dinner.

He noticed the slight wrinkling of Sting’s nose at his smoking, but if it bothered him, he chose not to say anything, so Rogue decided to engage him in conversation.

“Anything you’re in the mood for?”

“I don’t suppose you know any good places that serve seafood?” Sting asked eagerly.

“Seafood?” Rogue was taken aback, that was definitely not what he’d been expecting to hear. “Uhm, I think there might be a place a few blocks away from here, my parents used to take us there.”

Rogue kept his cigarette in his mouth as he did a quick search on his phone for the restaurant he was thinking of, relieved to see he’d been right, the place was only a few blocks away.

“Looks like you’re in luck,” Rogue said, leading the way to the address listed on the site.

“Thanks,” Sting fell in step beside him, looking decidedly chipper.

“Don’t thank me yet,” Rogue smirked, “it might be terrible.”

“Can’t be any worse than what I’ve been eating lately,” Sting muttered, “Never thought I’d see the day when I’d tire of junk food.”

“I feel ‘ya, ever since my parents moved I’ve been eating crap too. Should’ve let my mom teach me how to cook when she offered,” Rogue laughed, remembering his few disastrous attempts at cooking for himself. “So, where are you from anyway?”

“Edolas,” Sting replied, and taking in Rogue’s blank expression added, “It’s an island to the east of here.”

“An island, huh? This must be pretty different for you,” Rogue commented, “What do you think of Magnolia so far?”

“I haven’t really got a chance to see very much of it yet.”

“Oh, that’s too bad, maybe I can help with that,” Rogue offered, hoping that Sting would take him up on it so that he could see more of him.

They chatted on the way to the restaurant, Rogue asking questions about Edolas and receiving responses that he only half-listened to, too intent on watching the way Sting’s eyes lit up when he was excited, or the way he used his hands to talk. Much too soon, they had arrived at the restaurant, which was a bit fancier than he remembered.

Enough so that he worried they might be sent away, given Sting’s outfit. However, the greeter only gave them the briefest of glances when he asked for a table, replying in an apologetic voice, “I’m sorry sir, we are reservation only and we are unfortunately all booked up for this evening. Perhaps you can join us another time?”

Rogue thanked her and went looking for Sting, who had somehow disappeared from his side. He found him standing in front of a lobster tank, which was full of the crustaceans, each with their claws held shut by a band.

He couldn’t help a smile, Sting was talking to the lobsters contained within, arms once again moving a mile a minute, but it was his words that he found amusing.

“Aren’t you a pretty fella?” Sting cooed at the largest lobster Rogue could ever remember seeing. “Bet you look even better inside my belly.”

“Making friends?” Rogue teased, ignoring the looks they were getting from the other people who were waiting to be seated.

“Oh, haha,” Sting replied, hand moving to his neck, “Never seen one that big before.”

“That’s what he said,” Rogue replied out of habit, but he was surprised to see Sting stare at him curiously.

“Oh, that’s just something my friends-, “Rogue began to explain but thought better of it, “You know what? Nevermind, stupid joke.”

“Yeah, I’ve heard that joke before,” Sting clarified, “I was just surprised that you used he.”

“Is that a problem?” Rogue tensed slightly, he thought he’d gotten a certain vibe from his friend earlier, but maybe he’d been wrong?

“I’d hope not,” Sting laughed, turning back to the lobster tank and mouthing Thank You before cheerfully adding, “I’m still going to totally eat you, though.”

“I’m sorry to say, you’re not,” Rogue announced, “They’re booked for the evening.”

“Oh man, that sucks,” Sting whined, “I was looking forward to it.”

“I think the place next door sells fish sandwiches,” Rogue cajoled, trying to get out of the restaurant before they caused a scene.

“Not what I had in mind,” Sting pouted but seemed to consider Rogue’s offer nonetheless, finally turning back to the lobster tank and pointing at it. “Don’t look so smug Sheldon, this isn’t over,” before following Rogue out the door.

The place next door did indeed sell fish sandwiches, along with a host of other things, but it was also extremely noisy. Rogue didn’t mind all that much, he was used to Fairy Tail on weekends after all, and few things were louder than that, but Sting looked disappointed.

They put in their order at the counter and sat down at a table, waiting for their number to be called. Music was blaring from the speakers, and people were yelling in an attempt to be heard over it.

“This is worse than my dorm,” Sting yelled across the table.

Rogue shrugged, shouting back, “My band plays the bar circuit on weekends, I’m kind of used to it.”

“I know, I saw you guys play last weekend.”

“Oh? What did you think?” Rogue asked, he knew his guitar playing was decent, but he was always nervous to hear of what people thought.

Their number was called just as Sting was about to answer, and Rogue couldn’t blame him for hurrying to fetch their food, considering they were both starving, but it still made Rogue wonder if he’d been avoiding his question.

They ate their sandwiches, attempting some small talk, but as most of it got lost in the noise, they soon gave up and tried to get out of there as quickly as possible. In a record 15 minutes, they were back outside, and Rogue noticed Sting gazing at the other restaurant with longing.

“Fish sandwich not up to your standards?” he teased.

“It was alright,” Sting muttered.

“I sure hope so, you ate five of them!” Rogue laughed, “I thought that lady was gonna pass out when she saw how much food we ordered.

“Yeah, that was kind of funny,” Sting admitted.

Rogue looked at his watch and noticed it was getting late. Too bad it was Wednesday, else he could’ve asked Sting if he wanted to get some drinks. The dinner hadn’t exactly gone the way he’d hoped. “We’ll just have to make a reservation next time,” he suggested, already thinking of a retake at the fancier, more atmospheric seafood restaurant.

“Next time?” Sting raised an eyebrow, “I like the sound of that. Does that mean I can get your number?”

“Sure, but only if I can get yours too. I don’t think I’ll pass Bio without you,” Rogue retorted.

“Not the answer I was looking for, but it’ll do for now,” Sting winked, handing Rogue his phone so he could plug in his number.

0-0

October 10, 2012

Although Rogue was used to having an audience by now, it felt kind of weird to have a single spectator during a rehearsal. He wasn’t the type to enjoy being in the spotlight all that much, but when they played in crowded student bars, he’d quickly get swept up in the atmosphere and forget everything but the songs they were playing. That proved to be somewhat more difficult with someone as distracting as Sting watching them, as even though he was casually doing some homework, he’d break into a wide smile every time his eyes met Rogue’s, which happened, well…quite a lot of times.

And if that wasn’t enough of a distraction already, Rogue could practically feel Totomaru’s eyes burning into him, and he could tell by the fierceness of his drum playing that he wasn’t too happy about the situation.

Maybe he should have thought twice before suggesting Sting come along to band practice, but then again, it shouldn’t be such a big deal. The only reason why he’d come up with the idea was that they had agreed to study at Rogue’s place after, since the library had been so busy lately. If Maru wanted to have a jealous fit over that, it shouldn’t be his problem, right? They’d broken up, he was free to do whatever he wanted.

With that in mind, and because he didn’t want to get teased for being distracted later, Rogue doubled up on his efforts, and...okay, maybe he wanted to show off a little as well. It proved to be good motivation, and soon those pretty blue eyes became a muse rather than a distraction.

The love songs they often practiced suddenly took on new meaning, their words resonating as they flowed through him, making it difficult for him to meet Sting’s eyes, too afraid of exposing the feelings that he didn’t dare give a name to so soon.

At any rate, they played the stars from the sky, and satisfied with their progress, Gajeel called for a smoke break. As Rogue put his guitar away and grabbed his jacket, he was surprised to see that Sting was also putting on his coat, “Fresh air sounds good,” he smiled, turning to Juvia as he asked, “aren’t you coming?”

“The air is never fresh around those three,” Juvia snorted, and she grabbed a sketchbook and a pencil case from her bag to keep herself busy, as she always did.

They walked through the building to the alley where they smoked most of the time, so they wouldn’t block the sidewalk in front of the entrance.

“Are you really that cold?” Rogue frowned at Sting, who buried the lower half of his face inside his scarf, pulled the hood of his winter coat over his head, and shoved his hands inside his pockets. The big fluffy fur trim that encircled his face made him look like he was about to scale Mt. Hakobe, instead of merely joining Rogue in the alley for his smoke break and he found that kind of adorable.

“I’m from an island,” Sting whined, his voice sounding muffled from behind the scarf, “It’s so much more colder over here, we usually don’t get these kinds of temperatures until it’s almost Christmas. How are you two still wearing only a shirt and a leather jacket?”

“You should see my brother, he’s probably still walking around in just a t-shirt,” Rogue chuckled, lighting his cigarette and passing the lighter to Gajeel, who was holding out an open hand. “Does it ever snow in Edolas?”

He thought about the fun they could have once it was really starting to get cold, perhaps introducing Sting to some things that were entirely new to him. That is, assuming he wouldn’t have resorted to hibernation.

“It does, but like, very rarely? Maybe we get a day or two, or a week, at most? Usually, temperatures are well above the freezing level again by the end of January.”

“Heh, just wait until you’ve experienced a Magnolian January,” Gajeel snorted, exchanging a knowing look with Rogue and Totomaru, who lit up a cigarette as well, “You’ll be claiming we’ve hit an ice age.” He held his cigarette between his lips as he reached out to touch the fur trim on Sting’s jacket, his eyebrows knitted together in an apprehensive frown. “At least you’re already dressed for one, ’s this shit real?”

“Eww, of course not!” Sting exclaimed, slightly offended but seemingly not minding the intrusion of his personal space.

“Good.”

Gajeel backed off again, satisfied with that answer, and Rogue breathed a sigh of relief at the thought that they’d all been spared of one of his seemingly endless rants. But on the subject of personal space, Rogue considered his definitely invaded when Maru moved closer to him, putting his hand on Rogue’s shoulder.

“So, Sting-” Maru blew a cloud of smoke in Sting’s direction, “have you done a lot of sightseeing already?”

Waving the smoke away, Sting shook his head, “Not yet, I’m just starting to find my way around the university and stuff, but I was planning to do that during fall break.”

“Cool. You should take a day trip to Hargeon Port, oh, and try one of those canal rides here in Magnolia.” Looking at Rogue and giving his shoulder a squeeze, Maru continued, “We did that on some of our dates. It was really great, wasn’t it?”

“Yeah, it was nice,” Rogue agreed with a forced smile.

They’d had a great time together, he couldn’t deny that, and even if he’d ended their relationship, he still valued their friendship. But Maru made it no secret that he still had feelings for him, and Rogue was getting more and more frustrated by his constant attempts at getting back together. He just didn’t know what to do to make him understand that without snapping and possibly causing a big fight between them.

He calmly removed Maru’s arm, taking the last hit from his cigarette before dropping it on the ground and stepping on it, “Let’s go back inside, we still have studying to do.”

“Sure, book nerd,” Maru teased, ruffling his hair.

“Knock it, skunk!” The familiar nickname slipped out before he knew it as Rogue tried but failed to swat Maru’s hand away, bringing him back to times when things were a lot less complicated between them. Maybe, hopefully, those times would eventually return, when Maru would move on just like Rogue had done.

“Come on, wouldn’t want you to freeze to death,” he joked at Sting, sticking out his tongue at the dramatic pout he received in response.

They went back inside and played a few more songs, the newer ones they hadn’t gotten a chance to practice last week since the studio had to close for repairs due to the fire. All the while, Rogue was dying to leave, for two reasons. He wanted to study, not just because that meant spending time alone with Sting, but because midterms were coming up. But the main reason why he wanted to get them out of there had everything to do with the way Sting was getting awkward under Maru’s scrutinizing stares.

He was more than relieved when the song they’d agreed to be their last had ended. Flashing Sting an apologetic smile, he quickly put his guitar into the carrier and grabbed the rest of his stuff. “See you guys next week,” he called over his shoulder as he led the way out of the studio, walking a little faster than usual.

“Sorry it took so long, we have a gig this weekend,” he explained, searching his pockets for his car keys, “Shall we get some food delivered? We can get started while we wait.”

“Yeah, good idea, I’m starving!”

“So, three large pizzas then?” Rogue grinned, already used to the ridiculous amounts of food Sting put away regularly.

Sting’s face wrinkled in thought, “You think that’ll be enough?”

“Gotta leave some room for dessert,” Rogue shrugged smugly, “Unless, of course, you don’t want any ice cream, or lava cakes, or…” Me, his thoughts happily supplied.

“There’s always room for dessert,” Sting replied very seriously, “it’s the most important meal of the day.”

“Dessert is not a meal!” Rogue laughed, and although Sting was trying to keep a straight face, he couldn’t hide the twinkle in his eyes.

“Yes it is. I say so,” Sting claimed, losing the ability to hold back his laughter before he’d finished the sentence.

They got into the car, immediately bickering over the music that played on the radio, and Rogue was amazed at how at home he already felt around Sting like they had known each other for ages rather than just a short week.

0-0

They were still laughing when Rogue opened the door to his house, although he wasn’t sure what they were even laughing about, he just knew it felt nice. He took off his shoes and showed Sting where to put his so as not to get any dirt on the floor.

Rogue led the way to the dining room table, where they both dumped their backpacks and Rogue’s guitar.

“So this is where you live,” Sting commented as he looked around.

“Yep, oh bathroom is that way if you need to go,” Rogue pointed at the door to the half bathroom that was located just off the kitchen while he looked up the number for the pizza place he liked.

“Don’t forget to get the lava cakes, “Sting urged, tossing his credit card at Rogue, “My treat this time.”

Just to mess with him, Rogue pretended to forget the lava cakes when he got the pizza place on the line and placed their order, only mentioning them at the very last second. The poor soul on the other end of the line probably didn’t know what hit them when Sting’s gape of horror had Rogue in tears, wheezing as he listed his address and managed a “See you later.”

As soon as he’d hung up and put his phone away, he knew he was going to pay for it. Sting came charging at him with one of the soft pillows from the couch, delivering a few well-placed blows as they tumbled to the floor.

Still laughing, Rogue held his arms up in mock defense from the continuing onslaught, “I give, I give!”

Sting let up, blue eyes twinkling with mischief as he leaned ever closer before grabbing the pillow and getting up, leaving Rogue feeling incredibly disappointed. “Thought so!” he grinned victoriously, holding out his hand to help Rogue off the floor.

Rogue released a sigh, playing it off as a side effect from his laughing fit, “Alright, let me show you around the house, I doubt you’ll be focused enough to study with lava cakes on your mind.”

There wasn’t that much to show since Sting had already seen the hallway and the living room, which crossed into the dining room, but Rogue needed something to drag himself down to earth again. He showed Sting every room in the house except for his parents’ bedroom and their bathroom, finally ending the short tour in the basement.

“Guest bedroom-” Rogue opened the door to the room his dad and Gildarts had built for Cana when she, Gray and Rogue were in their teens, so she could have her own room and Gray didn’t have to share his with Rogue anymore. It hadn’t been used in a few years, and over time it had been filled with all sorts of old junk that his parents had meant to sort out and either donate or throw away.

“Still more tidier than my room at the dorm,” Sting chuckled sheepishly, “at least here you can still see the floor.”

“Why am I not surprised?” Rogue muttered under his breath before turning around to his favorite part of the house, “And last but not least, the entertainment room -,” he was about to say more when Sting interrupted him.

“You have a pool table?! That’s so cool, can we play a game while we wait for the pizza?” Sting asked hopefully.

“Sure,” Rogue shrugged, setting up the table while Sting grabbed some cue sticks, “You any good?”

“I’m alright,” Sting conceded, handing Rogue a stick while grabbing some chalk and applying it to the tip of his own.

“Well then, show me what you’ve got,” Rogue taunted, completely trash-talking cause regardless of owning a table he was only average at it.

“Alright,” Sting furrowed his brow in concentration and hit the cue ball as hard as he could, but even though it made an impressive sound, none of the balls went into any of the pockets. He bit his lip, looking at the floor. Clearly, that hadn’t gone like he’d wanted.

Rogue laughed, “Well that was, uhm… something. Wanna try again?”

When Sting nodded, he reset the balls and stood back. This time it went much better, and they started a proper game with Sting calling stripes.

“So, uhm, can I ask you something?” Sting was fiddling with his cue stick making Rogue awfully curious as to what he wanted to know.

“Could I even stop you?” Rogue snorted good-naturedly as he set up for his next shot.

Sting chuckled but wouldn’t meet his eyes, “What’s the deal with the drummer? He was definitely shooting daggers at me earlier.”

“Yeah, I’m sorry about that,” Rogue aimed the cue ball at the nearest solid ball, attempting to get it into one of the side pockets, not at all surprised when he missed. With a sigh, he added, “We used to date, but I broke it off. He’s just having a hard time accepting that.”

“I thought it might be something like that,” Sting commented, “Isn’t it hard to be in the same band?”

“He’s a good drummer, I’m kind of hoping he’ll get over it sooner rather than later,” Rogue heard the doorbell ring and put his stick away to head upstairs. “Guess that’s game.”

Sting followed, needing to sign the slip for their food. Once the door was opened, he moaned happily at the smell of chocolate wafting towards him, and if Rogue didn’t know better, he would have thought the idiot was getting ready to hug the delivery man.

“Down boy,” he muttered, feeling a tad jealous for no discernible reason, even as Sting looked back and grinned at him, arms laden with boxes.

“Food!” he cheered, carrying the boxes to the dining room while Rogue got some paper plates and sodas ready.

By the time he brought them in, Sting was already inhaling the first pizza. Twenty minutes later, there was nothing left, and after doing a quick cleanup, it was time to study.

“Do you want me to play some music or something?” Rogue asked.

“No, this is great,” Sting answered, looking down at his phone. “I work better without it, it’s one of the reasons I go to the library, there’s always music playing in our suite, and I feel like a jerk to ask them to turn-” he stopped in the middle of the sentence as he looked at his phone once again and started laughing.

“What are you doing?”

“Oh, you should see this,” Sting laughed, “my roommate just sent me this great TikTok!”

“After we get some studying done,” Rogue reminded him.

“Right!” Sting gave him a mock salute, grabbing his backpack and opening it up to grab his laptop. “Oh hey, can I get your wireless password?”

Rogue tried to ignore the amount of trash that fell out of the backpack in the process, but it was a losing battle. “Do you want me to show you where the trash bin is?”

“Hmm?” Sting peered at him absently, still in the process of booting up his laptop.

“Nevermind,” Rogue sighed, entering the password and sitting down with his own laptop. He had a feeling that it wouldn’t make much of a difference if he got Sting to tidy up the backpack now, it would probably be just as messy again within a few days. Sting just wasn’t a neat person, which was just about the only flaw Rogue had found in him so far.

“We should start with Bio before we get tired,” Sting suggested, pulling his book out and opening it to the chapter they had been covering that week. For the next hour, Sting went over everything they were supposed to have learned, explaining it so that Rogue was able to understand it.

He took lots of notes, knowing he might forget when he had to study without Sting there, but once they were done and had each moved on to different subjects, Rogue mostly ogled his new friend. Biology was his weakest subject, and he couldn’t help but be fascinated by the way Sting’s forehead furrowed in concentration when he read something he didn’t quite understand, or how his tongue peeked out when he was doing math problems. It was very distracting, and Rogue couldn’t help but wonder what it would have felt like if Sting had kissed him earlier, rather than just teasing him with the pillows.

“Aren’t you going to study?” Sting interrupted his train of thought, which was probably a good thing.

“I sort of am, I’m thinking about this story I have to write for one of my classes,” Rogue lied, having not done anything but stare for the last thirty minutes or so.

“Funny, your thinking looks a lot like checking me out,” Sting grinned.

“Someone’s a little self-centered,” Rogue retorted, reluctant to admit that Sting had pretty much hit the nail right on the head.

Sting snickered but chose not to comment, going back to his book and making exaggerated expressions every few minutes until he was once again distracted by his phone.

Rogue made a point of opening a book and staring into it, embarrassed at having been caught. Would it have been so bad to admit it? Time passed quickly as they both tried to get their work done, and much too soon, it was time to drive Sting back to the dorms.

On the way back, he thought about how pleasant it had felt to have company, even if they had studied for most of it. Maybe he should invite Sting over to study more often, midterms were coming up soon, and he’d definitely need help with Biology.

“You’re a lifesaver,” Sting announced with great enthusiasm, “I got so much stuff done! It would have taken me days to get that done in my room or even the library.”

“Midterms are coming up,” Rogue dangled an unspoken invitation, waiting to see how Sting reacted.

“Oh that would be great, even only for a day or two,” Sting beamed, “That would be so much help.”

Maybe it was because of how much fun they’d had, or the way Sting made him forget so many things that had used to bother him. All Rogue knew was that his infatuation with Sting continued to grow in leaps and bounds, making him question whether he could possibly already be falling in love with the exchange student.

He wasn’t really the type of person to be spontaneous, but the reality was that he didn’t have a lot of time to figure out his feelings, not when Sting would return home at the end of the school year.

So before he could overthink it or let himself chicken out, he blurted out, “Why don’t you stay with me for exam week?”

#fairy tail #ftdadsau #shadowlightweek2020 #stingue #ftlgbtales #fics #update #prompt: fall

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ocsandallthatjazz · 4 years ago

Note

Hey... Jasper and Law for the ship meme

Oh, so we’re doing this nonsense, huh?

What was their first impression of each other?

Jasper wasn't impressed at first sight, he's seen plenty of pirate captains thinking they're hot stuff in his town. Since he makes his lie-detection abilities known early, Law is quick to see him as a potential asset for the crew and also thinks it could be fun to convert him to piracy.

What is their ship name?

Lawsper, katie was the first to use it lol

Describe their relationship dynamic.

They're both protective. And there's this domestic aura when they're interacting, it's not perfect and they're not trying to be, but there's a beautiful and natural messiness that is comfortable.

What was their relationship like before they got together?

Jasper is a trustworthy confidante for Law, someone who can keep an eye on outsiders for the betterment of the crew. Through this role, they develop a tough love type of friendship.

How would they describe each other?

Jasper: "He has a bigger heart than he's willing to show and that's kinda beautiful. Oh, he's also an idiot who thinks he's a genius." Law: "He's a crutch for everybody on the crew. If he's in your corner, you know it's probably the right decision."

What do they love about each other?

Jasper: How cute it is when Law's passed out on Bepo. His exhausted rants about how crazy their allies (cough friends cough) are. Law always taking the time out of his day for one conversation with Jasper, no matter how short, even if he's avoiding people. Law: His steady, calming presence. How Jasper will be comfortable and hug him while also telling him to man up and get his shit together. Also thinks his sweet tooth is endearing.

What do they have in common?

Enjoying caffeine more than they probably should. They also are both the worrying type and get jealous.

What are some differences between them?

Law is more of an independent wanderer, while Jasper prefers to stick with the group and gets nervous about splitting off.

What made them realize they were in love?

Jasper once said "Captain and Ophelia can fool around all day for all I care" and he felt himself lying, like a punch to the face. For Law, it's less that there's a specific moment, but more that after being official for a little bit, everything adds up and starts to really believe that Jasper isn't going anywhere, so he lets the love in.

What are their love languages?

Jasper uses acts of service and affirming words, while Law uses quality time and physical touch to be loving towards him.

Do they get married? Who proposes and how?

They haven't given any indication of wanting marriage, but they're style reaches "we've been together so long, good luck separating us" levels.

What would happen if they never met?

Jasper wouldn't have found his excuse to leave Sabaody. Either Jasper would eventually save up to move to another island and another hospital, or he would've eventually snapped at the wrong person in his hometown and landed in serious trouble.

Who dies first? How does the other one react?

Probably Law, the "D." in him will only ever cause problems. Jasper would probably be stuck in a stage of anger for awhile, frustrated about the "what ifs." I don't know if he'd stay on the sea, he might go back to a normal job.

Are there any love rivals?

Ophelia is a thorn in Jasper's side and makes things very complicated.

Describe your favorite moment of that ship!

Oh, bold of you. Every moment is my favorite and my least favorite. I haven't even hit it in canon yet, but right now I'd say reuniting on Zou because Jasper hasn't seen Law in months by that point and he's so relieved to see his captain alive and okay, as beat up as he is. All he wants to do is sit Law down and drag every detail of the fight out of him and make sure he's alright.

What do other characters think about this relationship?

Bepo is glad that there's someone else who wants to take care of Law. Shachi and Penguin enjoy the upgrade from making fun of the pining to making fun of the couple. I don't have the privilege of Ophelia's mind but I hope she gets a kick out of it.

Describe or write a really fluffy scene!

This is all more concept-like, but! The submarine is surfaced, so Jasper is relaxing in the sun on the deck. Law shows up and they banter about everything and nothing for awhile. It's a lighthearted moment they haven't really had since Law got dumped. Jasper eventually whips out one of his lollipops and Law says "Stop doing that to yourself, those taste like cough syrup." Jasper laughs and says that they're delicious and Law is just a coward. Law is silent for a moment before he grabs the collar of Jasper's shirt, dips his head down, and kisses him. After he pulls back, he says maybe it isn't too bad, before leaning down again.

Describe or write a really angsty scene!

This is a mess rn but it's been planned in my head for a long time. After Ophelia leaves, Law confronts Jasper for not warning him. He yells about betrayal and "Why didn't you tell me about her? You lied to me. You." Law is a mess but Jasper is just tired, but looks like a weight was just taken off his shoulders. Jasper fights back, makes his case. Law would've snapped at him for prying outside of crew business. "She did love you back then, how do I ruin the chance my captain's happy?" Law says it would've made a difference. Jasper says he's lying, no one can know that. The back and forth continues a bit longer until eventually Law has his head in his hands, tugging at his hair. Jasper sits down and leans into him. And they both feel in the wrong, and they both feel in the right.

Talk about a headcanon you’ve never talked about before.

In Jasper's early months on the crew, Law drags him away to spend the whole day making a silent code just for the two of them, full of subtle posture changes and finger taps so Jasper can warn him if there's a liar. It slowly grows to include other motions just for their own nonsense on the ship, makes it easier for Jasper to throw him snark from the other side of the room.

What does a typical date look like for them?

Nothing fancy at all, very laid back. It's less that they have dates and more that they just are dating. Honestly, a lot of self-care like catching up on sleep together. Walk around and pick up coffee if they're stopped at an island.

What’s a really significant moment in their relationship?

Treating Luffy after the war was a big period of bonding for them because since these were the first weeks of Jasper joining the crew, the pair was working together for the first time. It included the first instance of Law silently looking towards Jasper to get a read on a conversation. It built their early trust.

Write your own question. [here's one that came with another ask: what AUs can you see them in?]

Is it too cliche to say hospital au? Give me the Scrubs level comedy, give me like the Grey's Anatomy drama.

OTP Ask Game

#asks #queen-of-edolas #oc: jasper kodiak #ship: jasper x law #fandom: one piece #long post

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carriagelamp · 5 years ago

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February 2020 Book Review

The Last Wish / Sword Of Destiny

Let’s start with the books that currently have me in a stranglehold. I apologize to everyone that actually follows me and watched me descend into fandom pits but whatcha gonna do. So, I was aware of the video game when it came out, but not being a prolific gamer I was intrigued but never bothered getting into it. Then the Netflix series came out, and I was again intrigued... but I suck at sitting down and watching shows. So what the heck I decided, it’s probably mediocre hypermasculine high fantasy but let’s try a book to see what the fuss is all about.

Good god. Guys. It’s real good. And so fucking different from the show. Geralt is actually a really emotional, well-meaning guy who’s starved for positive social interactions and is just trying to do his best. And the books’ consistent themes of colonialism, environmental destruction, forced extinction, and changing eras is... chilling and fascinating and honestly a little too relatable at times. These books have made me laugh and shout and frankly sob. Still a little sexist, cause 90s fantasy, but Geralt is so not the gruff, heartless, manly man character I thought he would be. I am so deeply into these and have just cracked the spine of the next book in the series. If you like high fantasy, I can’t recommend these enough.

The Silver Eyes

I just learnt that there were Five Nights At Freddy’s books, and honestly picked this up from the library as a joke for my brother. We’d played the games back when they first came out, and were into the lore, but lbr they’re more of a meme at this point. Anyway, we ended up reading this out loud to each other, a chapter a night, and I enjoyed it a lot more than I thought I would. Probably wouldn’t have liked it as much on my own, but the main character was complicated and messy, and the book’s way or portraying trauma was neat. It was nominally horror, and did have the occasional chilling moment, or times it was fun to speculate, it over all it was pretty run of the mill middle grade fiction.

FRNK

Probably the best graphic novel I’ve read this month.

I was howling with laughter while I read it. Good quality Belgium comics, always a treat. This story is about a modern day boy, Frank, who is accidentally thrown back into prehistoric times, where he’s stuck with a bunch of cavemen who haven’t invented the concept of vowels yet. Admittedly my French isn’t great, so it made trying to decipher words with half the letters missing a challenge to say the least, but plenty worth it. I really want to get my hands on book two. I believe there’s an English translation, and I’d recommend giving it a try.

Best Friends

A neat little graphic novel that addresses common growing up issues, about what it means to be friends, stay friends, how to cope with people changing and when it’s time to walk away. Anxiety, being yourself, fitting in, all that sort of stuff. It’s a quick read, very pleasant, and has nice art.

Karen’s Witch

Another cute graphic novel with charming art. I read this at the store while I was waiting for a prescription to be filled. It’s about this five year old (or thereabouts) who is absolutely determined that her neighbour is a witch and by god she is going to prove it or at least scare herself and her friend silly in the process. A fun little read!

Endling: The First

The second book in the Endling series, and all my praise for the first book apply here as well. A super unique high fantasy that gives extinct and threatened species a voice. The book explore themes of war, environmental destruction, sacrifice and loss. You really get to see how much Byx has grown and how much she needs to continue to grow. This book has me so excited for the third, I haven’t read such an emotionally rewarding quest novel in a long time.

Bleach

I found out my library has a billion books of this series and decided to jump into it again for the first time in over a decade. Honestly it’s even better than I remembered? The art is absolutely stunning, Ichigo is such a power fantasy hero, and it’s one of those series with a lot of really loveable characters and a lot of heart. Ichigo is a good guy who you actually feel good liking, which can’t be said for all shonen protags by any means. This is just such a classic and it holds up man. And if you like manga and have never read it? Jump in and enjoy a normal human getting supernatural powers and kicking absolutely enormous monsters’ asses.

Dinotopia: Sabertooth Mountain

This was my favourite Dinotopia book as a kid, and it was still fun to reread. The world of Dinotopia is one separate from the rest of the world, where humanity lives in perfect harmony with many prehistoric creatures that have managed to survive and evolve on the island of Dinotopia. This story is about a crisis brewing, as the sabertooths are cut off from their food supply and are in danger of not only starving but of bringing death to the rest of the mountain as well. While surveying the situation with his older sister, the main character finds himself falling from the airship in the middle of a storm, directly into the valley of starving sabertooths.

I read a bunch of this author’s graphic novels, and they are such feel-good queer lit. This was probably my favourite of the lot, but I also read Tea Dragon Society, Aquicorn Cove, and Princess Princess Ever After. Taking place in a picturesque mountain community, it’s about a girl meeting a guardian dragon who accidentally fell asleep in the mountains a century ago rather than watch over the village like intended. It’s about coming to terms with and loving yourself (and also about super cute little tea dragons).

Just Jaime

Another story that focuses on the complications of middle school, and how friends can grow and change, and when sometimes friendships become toxic and cruel. These are novel/graphic novel hybrids that are very visually appealing, and really do manage to tell very heartfelt stories. This one takes a side character from the earlier two books, and turns her from a very one dimensional, somewhat annoying character, into a fully realized person with her own issues and her own need for growth.

The Life-Changing Magic Of Tidying Up / The Life-Changing Manga Of Tidying Up

Given that I’m not really a non-fiction person and DEFINITELY not a self-help book person, I really enjoyed these (though I didn’t read Spark Joy). I read the manga first, out of curiosity, but enough of it struck true that I decided to try the book as well. Have I cleaned anything up yet? No. But honestly, I can genuinely say that despite being repetitive at points I do truly feel like I got a lot of good out of it, and I feel much more excited and prepared when I do decide to do a big clean next. It really does reframe the relationship you have with your belongings and with yourself. I genuinely love the concept of “sparking joy”.

Bigfoot Boy: The Sound Of Thunder

Technically the last book of the series, whoops. Though honestly having read it I didn’t feel like I missed that much. It’s a Canadian graphic novel and I had... mixed feelings about it. Interesting and exciting in some ways, but the pacing was odd, and honestly I don’t think indigenous voices went into making it (I could be wrong but...) and it reads as kinda... eugh. Problematic. Having a none indigenous author write about a white boy being the guardian of a first nation totem and turning into a bigfoot isn’t a super cool optic.

Bloodchild

I was told “hey this is a really fucked up short story” so I read it, and guess what? It was a really fucked up short story. Would recommend if you want weird alien sex slavery bullshit-- it was a wild ride. And the overall themes obviously went a lot deeper than that, but honestly, it’s like a few dozen pages long if you wanna dig into all the philosophical shit, just give it a read! Uh, heavy content warning, tw tw tw, but a really bizarre, unsettling look at gender and power dynamics and oppression through a scifi lens.

Mrs Frisby and the Rats of NIHM

I hadn’t read this book since elementary school so I reread it on a whim. It really is such a charming story. As far as animal stories go, this feels almost like the platonic ideal. Mother mouse is worried about her sick son and winds up compelled to seek out the mysterious rats who live in the rosebush for help, and is not only thrust into her own adventure but learns about the strange past her late husband shared with the rats of NIMH. It’s such a relaxing read, while still managing to be exciting and compelling.

Exploring According to Og the Frog

And one last animal story to round us off. I’d read one of the Humphrey books last month, and check out a couple more from the library for fun. I didn’t enjoy Mysteries According to Humphrey that much, but this one was charming, showing the world through Humphrey’s frog friend Og instead. The same charming type of adventure, but being a frog, Og has a very different attitude and view of the world, which was fun. Very cute elementary kid lit.

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liketolaugh-writes · 5 years ago

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Alphabet Soup

Author: liketolaugh Summary: Connor likes to explore his identity in bits and pieces, understanding what makes him himself one slice of life at a time. When Valentine's Day rolls around, that's when he first starts wondering about romance. Or: Connor's coming out, first to himself and then to others.

“Lieutenant, can you explain the concept of romantic love?”

Hank choked on his coffee, sending it sputtering in front of him as he coughed violently, setting the mug down hard on the table in front of him. Connor had to hide a grin, patting the man on the back to help him along until the man inevitably waved him off, still coughing.

“What the fuck,” Hank wheezed, once a few minutes had passed.

“I noticed the last time I went to the grocery store that some of the decorations had changed and a previously generic aisle had been redesigned to suit,” Connor explained, leaning against the table to idly monitor Hank’s respiration as it returned to baseline. “The last time this happened was when Christmas was coming up, if you recall, so I did some research, and my system database indicated that the occasion in question was Valentine’s Day. I thought you’d be able to explain it to me.”

“You fucker,” Hank complained, wiping his mouth on his sleeve. He immediately took another deep swig of the coffee, pointedly ignoring Connor’s small smirk, and set it down again. “Ugh.”

“That’s not very helpful, Lieutenant,” Connor said mildly.

“Ugh,” Hank repeated, with extra emphasis. “Alright. Okay. Fine. Do we have to do this now?”

Connor quirked an eyebrow at him, head tilting a little. Hank scowled back. Their bickering attracted Tina’s attention, and she sauntered over and plopped herself down with her own cup of coffee in hand.

“Anything causing the lieutenant that much visible anguish has my attention,” she announced, fixing avidly curious eyes on Connor. “What’s up?”

“I asked him to explain romantic love,” Connor informed her.

“Yeah, that would do it,” she snorted, a delighted smirk pulling across her mouth. “I’m so glad you decided to do this in public, and also in my vicinity, because this is way too much fun to pass up. He’s not gonna help you though. What did you want to know?”

Connor considered her for a moment, weighing the pros and cons of indulging her, but he was the one who’d decided to do this in a public avenue. “How do you recognize it?”

“Ooh,” she crooned gleefully. “That’s a fun one. Alright, so romantic love, that almost always starts with crushes.”

“Who has a crush?” Chris asked, appearing beside them. Hank seemed to have retreated into misery, scowling at the table and looking like he wished his coffee was spiked with something unhealthy. “Not you, I hope.”

“Fuck you, Chris,” Tina said without heat. “We’re explaining romance to Connor.”

“No, you’re not,” Connor disagreed, bringing a fist up to support his cheek idly.

“I’m getting to it,” Tina assured him. “Crushes, do you ever look at someone and just get excited to be around them? Maybe nervous? You know, butterflies in your stomach, fluttering heart, all that wonderful teenager stuff.”

Connor’s mind unwillingly shot to Markus. “No,” he said, a touch too quickly.

Tina looked skeptical, but didn’t push the issue. “Whatever, you’ll know it when you feel it.”

“Okay, but that’s not all there is to it,” Chris argued, and Connor shifted his gaze to him, hoping he would be more helpful. Chris shot him a small grin. “Romantic love kinda follows you your whole life. Crushes are part of it, but it matures over time. Your partner’s supposed to support you no matter what, even when things get hard. That’s the beauty of it though.”

“Chris is being sappy because every time he and his wife argue, they talk it through and fall even more in love,” Tina explained to Connor, who was at this point just growing increasingly confused.

“Why are we explaining the intricacies of successful marriages?” Ben asked, appearing by Hank and leaning on the table. “Not that I’m complaining, but I think the only ones married here are Chris and I.”

“Connor is asking about romance,” Chris explained to Ben. “Tina decided to save Hank the suffering.”

All of them looked at Hank, who had one hand covering his face, trying to tune out the conversation.

“And I decided to pitch in,” Chris finished, with an almost apologetic tone to his voice.

“I’m beginning to think I should have suffered in silence,” Connor mused aloud, trying not to smile. He wasn’t expecting this to be an actively popular topic, but he didn’t think he’d had a conversation this active or friendly with his coworkers before, and certainly not so many at once.

“You really should have,” Hank groaned, kicking him under the table. Connor kicked him back shamelessly, and Hank cursed, giving him a dirty look, to which Connor tilted his head innocently.

“You’ll understand when you get a girlfriend,” Ben told Connor kindly, smile faintly bemused. “Maybe that nice girl from analytics.”

Tina clapped. “Oh, that’s a good example! Connor, you know Alicia?”

Connor nodded cautiously, head tilting. “Yes? She’s rather nice but a little strange.”

“That’s because she has a crush on you,” Tina explained earnestly. “She talks to you a lot with really flimsy reasoning, right? And she stutters and blushes and does you favors?”

“Yes…” Connor said, slow and cautious as he tried to follow, a little overwhelmed now. “What… do I do about this?”

“Oh god,” Hank groaned. Connor took the initiative and kicked him first this time.

“You don’t have to do anything,” Chris provided with a sympathetic smile. “But you’d definitely have more than a fair chance, if you want to ask her out. You probably get a little nervous around her too, right? Maybe want to get to know her better?”

“Your heart should beat fast,” Ben added, with a touch of wistfulness to his voice. “Maybe you want to show off and impress her. Young love is something special.”

Connor shook his head, increasingly flustered and starting to regret bringing up the topic more sincerely.

“I don’t,” he protested. “I just noticed that she was acting strangely.” He’d actually been a little concerned, and he wasn’t sure he felt any better about it now. How was he supposed to respond to a girl with a crush on him? This certainly wasn’t in his programming.

“Thank god,” Hank muttered, and then, clearer, bumping Connor more gently, “Then she’s flat out of luck, and you don’t have to do anything except maybe let her down nice if you feel like it.”

Connor hummed with some distress, finally reaching out to do some quick supplementary research, and then, after a few moments, said, “My research indicates that not all couples are a woman and a man?”

His mind flicked to the Tracis, two girls wrapped together like that would protect them from the rest of the world.

“He gets it,” Tina said with obvious pleasure, jabbing her thumb at Connor.

“Most couples are,” Ben corrected, with an almost apologetic bent.

Connor started to reply, but was distracted when someone else finally came into the break room, and a quick glance told Connor that it was Detective Reed who’d entered. Instantly, a smirk shot across Connor’s face and he called out,

“Detective Reed, look at me!”

Detective Reed turned around, a faintly confused scowl on his face as he stopped fumbling for a mug.

“Bitch,” Connor said clearly, and Reed sputtered.

The other four humans collapsed into various forms of laughter, and that was the end of that conversation. But Connor kept thinking about it, even when he went back to work and long after Hank had put it out of his mind.

-------

Hank wasn’t able to put it out of his mind for long, because soon after that, Connor started playing love songs in a wide variety of genres whenever the radio was silent for more than a few minutes.

The nature of the activity wasn’t itself particularly unusual; Connor spent quite a lot of time exploring new possible interests whenever they were drawn to his attention, and Hank had been kind enough to give him space to do so. The man had put up with classical, rap, movie soundtracks, and electrobeat as Connor tested them all out by turn.

Apparently Hank drew the line at Kelly Clarkson.

“Can’t you play this shit in your head?” Hank demanded of Connor, less than a week into his newest curiosity. He looked exceptionally sullen, slumped against the arm of the couch and making quiet, irritable groaning noises.

Connor would argue that he looked like a petulant child. It wouldn’t be the first time.

“I could,” Connor said agreeably, “but this is one of the few occasions where doing so externally is genuinely better than keeping it within my system.” Transmitting sound data directly into his mind wasn’t quite the same as listening to it play.

“Wasn’t it enough to put me through that whole talk at work?” Hank demanded of him. “You gotta subject me to Taylor Swift all day too?”

“I don’t know how to tell you this,” Connor deadpanned, glancing over at Hank, “but none of you were actually very helpful.” But Hank’s continual protests were starting to put a knot in his chest, and before he could think better of it, he asked, “Is there a reason you’re so reluctant to help me explore this particular topic, Lieutenant?”

Hank went still for a moment, and Connor winced as he realized what had caught his attention. Connor only called him ‘Lieutenant’ at home when he was uncomfortable. But he couldn’t help it; Hank was usually so unconditionally supportive of any moves Connor made to explore his opinions, so this uncharacteristic protest was making him nervous.

Hank exhaled.

“Hell,” he sighed, obviously frustrated. “It’s just- a messy topic, Con. I never really got the hang of it myself. That’s why I have an ex-wife instead of a wife.” Connor bit his cheek, trying to push his scattered thoughts together into a response, but when Hank looked over at him, the man’s expression relaxed a little, resigned instead of annoyed. “Most people go through their first fumbling relationships when they’re teenagers. I guess you didn’t exactly get that chance though.”

“I was never a teenager, Hank,” Connor reminded the other, trying to force the anxiety in his chest to ease. Hank rolled his eyes, but relaxed noticeably.

“Yeah, no shit. Anyway, I’ll put up with it, I guess. God knows I have practice.”

That made Connor curious, but not enough to ask. “Appreciated.”

So Connor kept running through them, shifting quickly from genre to genre but sticking to the main topic. He found that he preferred love songs by women, and liked the heartbroken ones as much as he did the longing and lovestruck ones, and otherwise his genre preferences had remained rather uniform: metal and rock were his favorite, pop was okay, and country and hip-hop were out of the question.

A few times, he tried to imagine what kind of woman he might want to date, but his mind skittered over the idea without catching on anything, and eventually he accepted the defeat with as much grace as he could. Maybe it was simply something he couldn’t guess before he tried. (Or maybe it was just another way Connor was failing to understand.)

Hank assured him, gruffly, that he’d probably work it out in time – he always had more faith in Connor than Connor had in himself, even if he was usually reluctant to express it.

Connor himself, of course, wasn’t nearly so sure. Who would even want to love Connor so intimately? Connor was… well. Connor. The reasons not to like him couldn’t be counted on fingers.

He didn’t say that to Hank, of course, and it didn’t stop him from thinking about it.

--------

In the immediate wake of this, Connor came to New Jericho’s headquarters on a social call.

It wasn’t something he made a point of doing. Actually, it was something he’d tried his very best not to do, not wanting to cause the androids of New Jericho any more discomfort than was strictly necessary to perform his duties. Even social calls as a more general concept were foreign to him. What would they even do? Most of the time, Connor either followed Hank’s lead or entertained himself alone. Group activities were new territory, and he was as unsure of himself as he ever was.

But Markus had asked. Connor rarely found it in himself to deny Markus anything.

So he met Josh at the front door of the headquarters and followed him inside, keeping quiet and awkward. Josh would be a reassuring presence if Connor weren’t so nervous just to be around him – he kept up a litany of neutral-ground questions about work and about Hank, and accepted Connor’s stilted answers without any evident frustration.

“W-what were you and the others planning on doing tonight?” Connor blurted out eventually, and winced when he realized that it had no relevance to the question Josh had just asked about Sumo.

Josh favored him with a small smile and Connor looked away quickly, self-conscious.

“We were thinking about just watching a movie,” Josh said conversationally. “North gets testy when we try to talk work on Saturday nights, and movies aren’t something any of us except Markus have a lot of experience with. It’s nice.” Josh considered. “Well, Simon knows some, but they’re mostly for kids.”

He sounded very pleased, Connor thought, and it made sense. All of them were still working on finding their footing in a world that, while not exactly safe, was no longer quite so actively attacking them.

“What kinds of movies?” Connor ventured after a moment, still stiff and nervous despite his own best efforts.

“Well, North likes action movies, of course,” Josh said with a roll of his eyes. “The more violence, the better. Simon likes the absolute trashiest romances-”

“Can we try one of those?” Connor asked without thinking, and cringed as he realized he’d interrupted Josh, who was blinking at him, startled. He ducked his head. “Sorry.”

They reached a door, and Josh pushed it open to go through, bemused gaze still lingering on Connor. “I didn’t think you’d like that sort of thing – I kind of figured you’d be on North’s side, honestly.”

Before Connor had a chance to answer, Markus called out, “Connor, Josh, hello!”

Connor started and shrank in on himself a little, irrationally startled, and he lingered back to examine the room while Josh talked to Markus. It was nothing special, certainly nothing to indicate it was in one of the most important buildings in Detroit – an old TV system and a couple of battered couches, one of which Markus and Simon were sharing, and one of which had North flung over most of it, tossing her ball in the air with an aura of general impatience. When she caught Connor looking, she raised a lazy hand in greeting, and he relaxed a little and nodded back.

Connor would never tell any of them this, but he was by far the most comfortable with North out of any of them. It wasn’t that she was the least suspicious – she’d actually been by far the most so for over a month – but they were… more alike, than the others.

Connor wasn’t sure he could ever be truly comfortable with Josh when his first instinct when he was scared was still, after all this time he’d been deviant, to lash out with all of the prowess of his combat program. Even if he didn’t usually do it. (Usually. Hank had, once, almost gotten a black eye from startling him.)

It was a little better with Markus, who was patient and calm but certainly had the resolve to fight if he ever needed it, and Simon, who would fight if he thought it was the only way out. But not much.

They could, and if they really had to they would, but they didn’t hurt people like he did. And there was nothing Connor could do to match that.

Connor left Markus and Josh to go perch on the end of North’s couch. “Josh said you like action movies,” he said without preamble, glancing at the still-off television screen.

North grinned at him. “They’re better than anything else we can find. You joining me on that?”

Connor shrugged. He’d liked comedies so far, but he actually hadn’t explored much beyond what Hank had insisted he see yet.

“He actually asked for one of Simon’s bad romances,” Josh provided with a grin, apparently catching their conversation. Connor heated up, embarrassed, and Simon beamed at him, bright and sparkling.

“Oh my god, why,” North said with exaggerated affront, and this time Connor had to fight his grin down.

“I’m just exploring the idea,” he protested, focusing deliberately on North’s exasperated expression to avoid the reactions of the three others. “I’ve been curious about the idea of romance since shortly before Valentine’s Day. I haven’t had much exposure to it in any form.”

North’s nose wrinkled with a more genuine displeasure, though it wasn’t specifically directed at him. “Who fucking needs that anyway,” she muttered.

Both his eyebrows rising, Connor glanced at Markus inquisitively. He didn’t disappoint.

“North and I broke up last month,” he explained, with only a small amount of regret in his voice. “Things were getting… let’s say, a little too intense.”

“He means we argued so much that we made up more than we got along,” North clarified, not quite bitter but definitely irritated. “Not exactly life partner material.” She threw a look over her shoulder. “Should’ve gone with Josh after all.”

Connor was confused until Josh objected, “Just because Markus swings that way doesn’t mean I do.”

“Thanks, guys,” Markus said, wearily enough that even North looked briefly apologetic. He glanced at Connor and elaborated with a wry smile, “I had a crush on Josh too, during the revolution, but that was kind of a dead end and there wasn’t exactly time to think about it anyway.”

Connor glanced between the four of them slowly, playing catch up. “You’re bisexual,” he concluded at last, unable to help a spark of interest.

Markus’ smile eased, his shoulders dropping, and he nodded. “Something like that. Josh is straight, though, and North is…”

“Working on it,” North finished for him, audibly dismissive. “Not.”

Understandable.

Connor considered this for a moment, glancing between them, but was interrupted before he could finish processing; he was finding himself a little tongue-tied. Possibly Hank’s embarrassment concerning the topic was infectious.

“Oh no,” Simon said suddenly, with slow-dawning dismay. “I didn’t even think about it.”

Josh twisted to stare at him, distracted. “You love romance.”

“That’s other people,” Simon explained earnestly, looking distressed. Connor almost smiled.

“I’m just curious,” he said, as honestly as he could. He was probably straight, according to Ben and some of Hank’s own implications, but they all sounded so confident that he didn’t feel secure enough to actually say so.

Markus smiled at him, and Connor averted his eyes, embarrassed. “That’s fine. I’m sure there’s quite a lot of androids who haven’t even started thinking about romance just yet.”

Connor smiled a little, some of the tension draining out of him, and North cleared her throat loudly.

“Okay, but let’s get back to the point,” she said loudly. “Which is, there’s no way I’m sitting through another goddamn Hallmark movie.”

Simon made a low protesting noise, and Connor deflated a little, though he hadn’t really expected his request to make an impact anyway.

“Compromise,” Josh said firmly. “I’m sure we can find an action movie with a romance subplot.”

“Yeah, like we can find one without one,” North grumbled.

“But what do you and Markus like?” Connor asked earnestly, leaning forward to listen even as Josh went to join Markus and Simon on the other couch.

“Fantasy, mostly,” Josh confessed with a shrug. “I’m a little tired of history, if I’m honest.” There was a touch of humor to his tone, and Connor nodded his understanding. “And Markus likes the indie stuff.”

“It’s creative,” Markus said defensively, and Connor had to laugh.

----------

Tina wasn’t sure when Connor had picked up the habit of bringing everyone coffee toward the end of the workday, but it had certainly endeared him to the rest of the precinct. It probably had something to do with the fact that he was always finished a good hour before the rest of them. If he wasn’t bringing them coffee, he’d just spend the end of the day fidgeting restlessly, or else he’d start on the backlog of paperwork that had never gotten done.

It was around that time of day again and Connor appeared from the breakroom with a labeled paper cup for each of them, bringing it around – first to Hank, who had certain privileges as Connor’s blatant favorite. Then Ben, and Tina made grabby hands when Connor came by her that made him visibly bite down a smile.

Connor bypassed Gavin entirely, which made him scowl, and Tina saw Connor cast a lightning-quick glance over his shoulder to smirk at the man’s reaction. He gave one to Chris, to Wilson, to Person, and he only came around back to Gavin once he’d given one to every other officer waiting.

Gavin’s coffee, it developed, was labeled ‘Rat Man’. Tina hid a grin behind her fist, and Gavin’s outrage grew visibly.

“You got something to say to me, tin can?” Gavin demanded of Connor, who raised his eyebrows.

“I’ve heard some of the other officers refer to you as such,” he said innocently, eyes glittering. “There’s really no reason for me not to do the same.”

Gavin shook the coffee angrily at Connor and swore as some of it splashed onto his hand. “Don’t act like you don’t fucking know what you’re saying, you plastic piece of shit! I’m not gonna take this disrespect when I make sergeant!”

“Then I’ll be sure to keep it out of your hearing when you finally achieve that rank,” Connor said mildly. “Which may be easier if you stop giving yourself coffee burns.”

Gavin looked Connor in the eye and swallowed down several gulps of what Tina knew to be boiling hot coffee without flinching. He paused for a few minutes, probably waiting for the pain to die down, and then said roughly, “Fuck you. I’ll be there before you are, blue blood.”

Connor looked away quickly, borderline flustered and genuine amusement pulling at his mouth, and shrugged. Tina, unlike Gavin, was in perfect position to see his LED flash yellow for a few seconds before returning to blue, and she didn’t have time to be concerned before Connor said lightly,

“You’d probably find last week’s Kendelson case very interesting, Detective. There are some distinct similarities in execution and profiling, if you want to take a look.” His eyes flashed back to a squinting Gavin, smirking just a little. “Don’t worry, I’ll wait.”

Then he took off back to his desk, settling by Hank again before Gavin could reply. Gavin stared after him for a minute, brow furrowed, and then shrugged, shaking his head like he was throwing off a fly.

Tina waited for Gavin to take another drink before saying, tone conversational, “You know if you break his baby gay heart, Anderson is going to kill you and we’ll never find your body.”

Gavin choked, which was exactly what she’d been hoping for.

“What the fuck? Connor’s not gay and he doesn’t have a fucking crush on me!”

Tina waited. She and Gavin were two of the few queer officers in the precinct, and she was sure he could pick up on Connor’s signals as well as she could. Gavin stared straight ahead, thinking, and then, sure enough, his jaw dropped.

“Oh fuck,” Gavin said, with genuine dawning horror. “He’s gay and he has a crush on me. Tina, don’t you fucking dare tell him.”

Tina grinned. “You should probably go pick that case up. Connor’s usually right about these things.”

“I hate you so fucking much,” Gavin said fervently, and then he stood up and headed for the records room.

--------

It was hard for Connor to find hobbies, especially in a city that had only in the last month or two began to settle into a new rhythm after the revolution. But he thought he was managing well enough, with some help from Hank and occasionally from Markus or Simon.

The animal shelter had been Simon’s idea; Connor loved animals, liked being productive, and the animal shelters had in many cases never actually left, only become severely understaffed, owing to the difficulty of transporting so many animals on such short notice. It had quickly become one of Connor’s favorite places, and he tried to go there at least every two weeks, if not every Saturday, helping to herd and entertain the dogs while the actual caretakers did their jobs.

He almost always found that he’d stayed longer than he’d meant to – he simply enjoyed himself too much, cooing to the dogs and coaxing the shyer ones into playing just as hard as the loud ones. It was a good way to de-stress after a week of police work; even Hank had commented after the first couple times he went.

All of this was to say – when he went to the shelter, and found himself struggling to focus on the dogs, he noticed.

Connor had quickly gotten to know all of the employees there, just as they’d gotten to know him, with how regularly he came around and how recognizable he was. He knew that Jeanine liked the cats better, that Kenneth was a bit of a worrywart, that Penny had been suspicious of him the first few times he came but had warmed up quickly when she saw him fawn over the dogs.

The first thing Connor thought when he saw the new boy opening the kennels was that he was very, very cute, and it wasn’t until the dogs were barking at his feet that he remembered that he had a task to perform.

“Hello,” he greeted awkwardly, kneeling to hold out his hands to the dogs and let them recognize him and his scent; it often took them a minute, since he didn’t smell like any human, but they always got there quickly. They were very smart.

The boy started, glanced over, and smiled. “Oh, hey- Connor, right?”

Connor nodded, looking down. “I don’t believe I’ve seen you around here before. When did you start?”

“Just last week,” the boy said cheerfully, moving on to the next kennel. Connor glanced up and thought he liked the boy’s smile. It looked like it came easy. “A lot easier to get jobs in Detroit now that so many people have moved out- uh.” He seemed to think that over for a moment, and then glanced gingerly over at Connor.

Connor smiled at him reassuringly. “I’m sure,” he agreed. “What’s your name?”

The boy relaxed. “Jacob, nice to meet you. I’ve heard a bit about you from the others.”

Connor let an embarrassed grin slip onto his face. “I like dogs,” he said, and then realized that was rather redundant. But Jacob laughed.

“I’ve heard,” he said.

And perhaps that should have been it – but Connor kept getting distracted, watching Jacob lead the dogs away one by one to look them over, weigh them, and scrub them down, just the ordinary routine that every other worker did once a week. Connor caught him cooing to the dogs, too, well within Connor’s sensitive hearing, fond and friendly and gentle, and didn’t realize he’d gotten distracted until one of the ones near him shoved their cold nose against his palm insistently.

He felt unaccountably nervous. Not frightened, but rather, he realized, excited, and he couldn’t help but wonder why. Jacob was just a boy, with a nice smile and a talent for handling dogs – so why did he have so much of Connor’s attention?

And then Connor remembered how Tina had described a crush to him, and wondered.

---------

The first thing Connor did when he looked up and met Chloe’s eyes was flex his hands, closing them into fists and then opening them again, something uncomfortable deep in his chest.

But they were empty. Of course they were. Androids still were not technically allowed to handle guns, and he was at work.

Chloe just gave him a small, almost understanding smile, and he had to wonder if she’d caught the motion. Either way, she bypassed everyone else to stand by his desk, hands clasped neatly behind her and apparently unconcerned by her environment and the stares she was getting.

She was alone, Connor noticed, and appeared more animated than she had at Kamski’s villa. He wondered why.

“Hello,” he said at last, for lack of anything better to say.

“Hello,” Chloe returned lightly. “It’s good to see you, Connor. I was wondering if you’d be willing to take a short break to talk to me for a while.”

Connor stared at her uncertainly, mouth pinched. He had no objections himself, of course, but he couldn’t help but want to know why she’d even want to speak to him. He certainly wouldn’t, after he’d come so terribly close to shooting her in cold blood.

When he glanced over to Hank for support, though, the man just made a small shooing motion at him. There was something odd about his expression, though Connor was too uncomfortable to take the time to decipher it just now.

Ben, on the other hand, gave him a wink, which just made Connor more uncomfortable, and Chris gave him a small and reassuring grin. Tina appeared to be laughing silently, eyes bright, and Gavin rolled his eyes, long and exaggerated.

Eventually, Connor just turned his gaze back to Chloe and nodded slowly.

“Of course,” he agreed. “Give me just a moment to finish, please.”

Chloe nodded, and waited patiently as he added the last few strokes to his report and closed his terminal. Then he stood up and followed her out the door, confused and nervous in a much more familiar and anxious way.

“I’m sorry,” he blurted out, glancing at her once they were a few minutes down the block. “About… about before.” His throat was thick with stress.

Chloe just gave him an understanding look.

“It was a long time ago,” she said gently, “but I was a machine once too. I remember what it was like… and all I was programmed to do was take calls and file paperwork.”

Connor clenched his jaw, trying to master the wave of guilt before it choked him.

“Elijah never thought you were going to shoot,” Chloe added kindly when he remained silent. “But… I wanted to thank you for not doing so, anyway. It must have been difficult.”

“You shouldn’t have to thank me for it,” Connor blurted out, terse with pain.

“I don’t,” Chloe corrected. “I’m choosing to.” Her gaze swept over the street, and her expression softened noticeably. “It helps that it’s you. I don’t think you know what it means to me, that I can wander around without pretending to be a machine. That alone would make up for quite a lot.”

“That wasn’t me at all,” Connor protested weakly. “That was mostly Markus.”

“It was,” Chloe agreed, which wasn’t a response Connor was at all used to but which was somehow comforting in and of itself. “But you certainly helped.” She glanced at Connor, warm. “It’s different for you. You’ve never known a time before androids walked the streets. But I was the first, and I remember. Connor, this is everything to me. It wouldn’t have happened without Markus, and it wouldn’t have happened without you either.”

She was right – Connor couldn’t quite wrap his mind around it. Even the dozens of old movies he’d seen, without any androids in them at all, background or otherwise, seemed like a different world, one that existed only in fiction.

After a minute, he decided to just accept it. He didn’t really need to understand why she’d forgiven him, anyway, and he probably never would one way or another.

“Thank you for forgiving me,” is what he settled on, stiff but sincere, and she gave him an understanding smile.

She hadn’t seemed this old when he’d seen her before; it made him feel quite young by comparison, in a way he wasn’t really used to. But then, he supposed, she’d probably been pretending to be a machine then. Plausible deniability, on her part or on Kamski’s, or both. Chloe must have had quite a lot of time to grow and develop.

What came out of his mouth next surprised him. “May I ask you a sensitive question?”

Chloe paused for only a split second, apparently surprised, and then nodded. “Certainly, but I reserve the right not to answer.”

“You seem… comfortable with yourself,” he explained haltingly. “Which I assume is from having quite a lot of time to explore your own identity.” He paused for a split second, uncomfortable, and then pressed on. “How does one go about exploring their sexuality?”

Chloe’s surprise was almost audible, but there was a genuinely pondering look on her face as they turned around to head back towards the precinct, almost in unison.

“Is this a sex question or an identity question?” she asked at last.

Connor flushed. “The latter,” he said quickly.

Chloe was quiet for a few more moments as they walked. “Why are you asking me, out of anyone?” she asked eventually.

Connor shrugged uncomfortably.

“We only have a passing acquaintance,” he explained slowly, hesitantly. “So you’re essentially impartial. You’ve had more time to explore yourself than any other android I know, including Markus, since he’s been a deviant for so little time. I thought… if I could ask anyone, I could ask you and not suffer too many repercussions.”

Chloe nodded, slow and thoughtful.

“I realized I was aromantic a while back,” she said matter-of-factly, head tilted to watch him. He ran a search on the term and nodded his understanding, and she continued, “It took quite a while. At first I thought I was maybe too young to be getting crushes, and I hadn’t developed that far yet. Then I thought it was because I had too little exposure to the outside world. Who was I going to get a crush on, Elijah?” She rolled her eyes, and Connor had to smile a little. “But that wasn’t it either. I just wasn’t interested, not even in the idea.”

She stopped for a minute, and he let her think. They were almost halfway back to the precinct now.

“So my experience might be a bit different,” she continued, with a small smile. “But I’d suggest you give serious thought to who you’d want to be in a relationship with, not just who you think you’re supposed to. If you have to force it, it’s probably not right.”

Connor hummed uncertainly. He understood her words, but…

Well. It just didn’t seem like it would be that simple.

She caught his eye and smiled.

“You can kiss me if you want to try,” she said carelessly, eyes glittering with something like amusement. “I wouldn’t mind – it’s not like I get the chance often.”

Connor considered that for a moment, and briefly imagined his lips against hers, the way he’d seen other people do, bodies pressed together just a little-

“No thank you,” he said hastily, and she quite rightfully laughed at him.

His smile came out embarrassed, but he didn’t take it back.

----------

Hank got his first clue when Connor started to put LGBTQ documentaries on the television whenever he had a chance.

It had initially surprised Hank that Connor was lingering this long over the idea of romance, but in hindsight it shouldn’t have; Connor had thus far chosen to explore his identity in phases. He’d explored clothes and colors and decorations all together, and games with movies and outings, and technological history over the course of a week with nearly unbreakable focus – once he hit on a new problem, he worked at it until he was satisfied. There was no reason that this would be any different.

Maybe the real reason Hank was so confused was that he hadn’t expected it to take this long.

And one or two might have been attributed to Connor talking to others, but after Connor put on the fifth that month, watching intently, Hank started to get the idea. He was a police detective for a reason, after all. A long time ago, he’d been a borderline prodigy.

It wasn’t that Hank hadn’t ever thought about it before.

Well, that was almost a lie. It hadn’t occurred to him to think about Connor coming out. But he’d thought about Cole, and remembered how his parents, so long ago, had reacted to his lesbian sister. And he’d remembered how he hadn’t spoken more than a few words to his sister in decades because of that.

“I remember the day gay marriage got legalized,” he said conversationally, and Connor started, turning to him with wide and curious eyes. Hank shrugged at him. “I honestly didn’t even know it was up for vote at the time, but I woke up that morning and there were rainbows all over the internet. Rainbow drinks, rainbow food, rainbow clothes, hell, public buildings lit up in rainbow colors to celebrate. People were talking about it all over, hashtag lovewins – that one stuck around for a while, people loved it.”

Connor tilted his head, the exact same curious gesture he always made. “What did you think?” he asked.

“Well, at first I figured it was pretty cool, but it didn’t really have that much to do with me,” Hank said casually. The memory came easily; he’d been pretty self-absorbed then, focused on his own ambitions. Heh. “But then Jeffrey called me.”

“You were already friends back then,” Connor said, thoughtful, and it wasn’t always obvious how young Connor was but times like this, so surprised that he and Jeffrey had been friends twenty years ago when they were both over fifty years old, it kind of showed.

“We joined the force around the same time,” Hank agreed. “We’d been friends for almost a decade at that point – nothing like now, obviously. Anyway, he wanted to know what I thought of it too, and I told him basically what I told you. As soon as I was done, he came out to me.” He caught Connor’s startled expression and had to grin. “Yeah- he doesn’t spread it around, but he’s not in the closet either. He says he’s married to his work, but that’s an inside joke – his husband’s an ex-con.”

That surprised a genuine laugh out of Connor, rare enough that it made Hank grin too.

“I’ve heard it a thousand times,” he tacked on, leaning back and noticing the Connor had at some point paused the documentary. “It’s not even funny anymore, frankly.”

“I don’t know, it’s certainly funny to me,” Connor disagreed, giving Hank a small grin, and Hank snorted.

“You’ve got bad taste in humor, son.”

He’d have to introduce Connor to Brooklyn 99 later. He’d love it.

---------

New Jericho didn’t have a gym, exactly, but there was a large room spread with padding on one of the lower floors, which served essentially the same purpose – androids didn’t need to work out, of course, but some of them liked to.

Connor only ever used it when he was teaching North the forms from his combat programs, but he had it on good authority that she used it whenever she got the chance. Especially to practice, but for other things as well, moving just to feel her servos whir and her artificial tendons stretch.

He was running her through one of his favorite sets, meant to unbalance and knock down an enemy, when Markus appeared, striding through the doors like he was at home here as anywhere else, and maybe he was.

“Connor!” he called out, and he sounded pleased. “I’ve been looking for you! I should have known you were in here.”

Connor’s running explanation to North broke off into stutters, and in the middle of a motion, he faltered, tipped, and then fell, landing hard on the ground in a daze. Mortified, he scrambled up back to his feet and swung around to look at Markus, who was smiling at him, clearly amused and warmly affectionate.

Connor hadn’t understood the term ‘his heart skipped a beat’ before. He did now.

“A-ah, hello, Markus,” he greeted, fidgeting as he tried to calm his embarrassment. “What did you need?”

“I wanted to check on you,” Markus admitted shamelessly, coming closer. “I’m glad you and North get along so well – and I heard you spoke to Chloe recently?”

Connor nodded quickly, and the two of them spoke for a few more minutes – Markus eventually confessed that he’d wanted to know how Connor’s work environment had been so far, and Connor explained what he could, which he felt was embarrassingly little. He wasn’t always particularly good at picking up on everything he should, in a social environment, and he didn’t have answers to all of Markus’ questions. Markus assured him it was fine, but Connor was still rather embarrassed, and he kept fidgeting until Markus smiled at him again and left the way he’d come.

“North,” he whispered as soon as Markus left, feeling stunned, “I think I’m gay.”

“Yeah, I thought so too,” North agreed, with clear amusement.

---------

Once the realization had finally hit Connor in its entirety, it seemed obvious. The nervousness around many of his closer male friends, the constant curiosity that led him to ask relationship questions that seemed to surprise some of the others, the disinterest in women that he’d noticed almost from the start- it made sense.

It also felt like a secret that stuck in his throat, and he couldn’t help but remember Ben’s apologetic correction, most couples are.

He should come out to Hank first. He was closer to Hank than essentially anyone, and he knew, from the conversation he and Hank had had before, that Hank would most likely be okay with it.

But he found himself anxious. It sometimes felt like Hank was all he had, and the very last thing he wanted to do was to risk alienating him. Irrationally, despite everything – or perhaps because of everything – he worried that this would be the final straw.

The first time it occurred to him to talk to Captain Fowler, he dismissed it entirely. While Fowler and Hank were good friends, the man still made Connor a little nervous, as such a significant and direct authority figure. Besides which, they didn’t have that kind of relationship.

Then the thought occurred to him again, and again, his mind wandering back to it periodically – almost every time the topic came up, including twice when Hank asked why he’d so suddenly stopped talking about it.

Eventually, he gave in and awkwardly suggested that Hank go on ahead – he wanted to talk to Captain Fowler about something before they left. It wasn’t even technically a lie. Hank gave him a weird look, but went on easily enough.

Connor waited another minute or two once he’d gone, working up his nerves, and then went to knock on Fowler’s office door. He waited for permission, and then went inside.

Captain Fowler was packing up for the day, but he turned to Connor as he entered, one eyebrow raised. “Connor,” he greeted briskly. “What is it that couldn’t wait for tomorrow?”

Connor fidgeted, and Fowler’s eyebrow raised further.

“Captain,” he said at last, uncomfortable. “May I ask you a personal question?”

Fowler stared at him.

“Hank warned me about your personal questions,” he said at last, sardonic, “but I didn’t think you’d actually do it.” Then, “Sure, shoot.”

Connor swallowed, letting his gaze fall to the ground, and hesitated long enough for Fowler to clear his throat impatiently.

“Do you… have any advice, about coming out?” he asked, soft and so embarrassed that his voice was only a little louder than a whisper.

There was a long moment of complete silence, and Connor tugged on the sleeve of his jacket.

“Coming out,” Fowler said slowly, almost incredulously. “As LGBT?”

Connor nodded without looking up.

“You know I’m married to my work,” Fowler said, with no hint that it was a joke at all. Still, Connor smiled a little.

“Yes,” he confirmed. “Your husband is an ex-con.”

Fowler snorted, and another long, interminable minute passed. It occurred to Connor, belatedly, that Hank may have been messing with him.

“Sure,” Fowler said finally, and Connor started, looking up with more surprise than he wanted to admit to. Fowler didn’t quite look sympathetic, but he certainly appeared more forgiving than he had a minute ago, if still a little bemused. He dropped back into his chair, and gestured for Connor to sit in the one across from him. “I assume you heard I’m gay from Hank, he’s one of maybe three people that know that joke – he tell you how I came out?”

Connor shook his head. “Only that you did it the day gay marriage was initially legalized.”

“It made for a good opener,” Fowler agreed, and he seemed to be settling into the conversation, arms crossing. “Ideally, you’d test the waters first, see where they stand before you go all-in. Have you talked to Hank yet? I mean, I assume this is about Hank first and foremost.”

“Not about… me,” Connor said hesitantly, still fidgeting with his sleeve. But it was reassuring, Fowler’s easy acceptance – and, for some reason, the fact that he’d taken it for granted that Hank was that important to Connor, that Connor would be thinking of him. “But I’d been watching some documentaries, and he talked about his stance then.”

Fowler huffed a little, and Connor thought he might’ve been amused.

“Hank’s not a bad guy,” he said grudgingly. “It sounds like he handled that part for you, maybe on purpose.” He shrugged. “Once I knew where he stood, I told him I was glad I’d be able to get married now. It’s a little easier to be blunt, if you can bring yourself to.”

Connor could be blunt; Hank complained rather often that he was too much so.

“And if I… didn’t want to?” he asked, uncertain despite himself.

Fowler sighed, but he didn’t seem resentful; instead, he settled in, and they kept talking.

---------

Connor made dinner for Hank most days, when he could get away with it, so that seemed like the obvious place to start: he made something nicer than usual, with less mind to nutritional information and more to Hank’s tastes, and waited for him to be most of the way done before he spoke.

Hank seemed to pick up on his mood, maybe because he couldn’t completely stop his LED from flickering nervously every so often, and he ate scrolling absently through his phone instead of fielding Connor’s usual conversation.

“Hank,” Connor said at last, his strain not quite coming through to his voice, “may I tell you something personal?”

Hank shut off his phone immediately, flipped it so the screen faced down, and raised an eyebrow at Connor. “That’s new,” he said mildly. Connor’s expression pinched a little, and his face immediately took on an apologetic cast and he waved Connor on.

Connor fidgeted, weaving his coin around and around his fingers, rocking slightly with his feet tucked under him.

“I talked to Chloe,” he mumbled, then cleared his throat and spoke a little clearer, though without looking at Hank. “About, ah, exploring one’s identity, since she has the most experience – she had some good advice, I think, and I’ve been… thinking.”

He faltered again, but Hank didn’t move to interrupt, though one eyebrow had crooked up a little. He’d stopped eating, but when Connor’s gaze flickered down again, he resumed.

“I react differently to North than the other Jericho leaders,” he said, and he knew it was a touch scattered, didn’t entirely make sense, but he couldn’t help it; all of his careful scripting seemed to have deleted itself. “I understand some of it, but there’s no reason for me to get so flustered around them and not around North. And there was that worker at the animal shelter, and it was so strange that I was so easily distracted…”

He was fidgeting harder even as he trailed off, one hand coming up to tug at his ear, which was a new one. It was always hard for Connor to come to terms with any part of his identity, let alone one which was supposed to be so big.

Hank didn’t seem to be silently laughing at him, which was a blessing, but he wasn’t otherwise reacting either.

Fowler had suggested he be blunt, if he could.

“I think I’m gay,” he said at last, gaze intent on the table. “Most likely. It’s, um, consistent with everything I’ve noticed so far.”

And then he fell silent. After a few moments, he heard Hank put his fork down and glanced up anxiously. Hank looked contemplative, gaze piercing in a way that was unique to him. Connor analyzed his expression, and he didn’t seem dubious, or irritated or… anything but pensive.

“Whatever you figure makes you happy, kid,” Hank said at last, and his eyes crinkled into a fond and faintly amused expression he took on mostly when he thought Connor was overcomplicating something simple. “You know I ain’t gonna hold anything like that against you.”

Connor beamed at him, feeling the tension drain out of his shoulders like a weight falling away.

“I know,” he said sincerely, because for all his worries he’d never really expected that Hank would be angry.

---------

Almost a month after Connor came out to Hank, Alicia finally made her move, after several months of flustered conversation and furtive looks.

She caught Connor just at the end of the work day, by his desk as he was packing up. It wasn’t quite the first time, so he paused, giving her a faintly expectant look. She was pink, barely enough to be noticeable, but she seemed more determined than usual, he thought.

“Hey, Connor,” Alicia said, her tone a touch lower and quicker than it was talking to anyone else. “Would you like to meet after work, um, at that android-run coffee shop? Blue Bean Café? I know they have some good thirium drinks they recently put up for sale.”

Connor hesitated, watching her for a long moment.

“As a date?” he clarified. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Hank go still, watching Connor to see how he’d react.

She nodded quickly, eyes hopeful.

He considered, tugging lightly at his social protocols for help until he finally came to a decision.

“I’m sorry, Alicia,” he said apologetically, deliberately keeping his focus on her to the exclusion of anyone else. “I recently concluded that I’m gay, so going out with you would be under quite false pretenses.” He smiled at her gently, trying to be reassuring even as his chest squeezed nervously. “But your suggestion was very thoughtful. I appreciate it.”

Alicia blinked rapidly, and Connor winced as he saw the dawn of humiliation start to appear in her eyes before she visibly forced it down and gave him a strained smile.

“Oh dear, that’s embarrassing for me,” she said, with a clear attempt at good humor. “I should have guessed, all the best ones usually are. Thanks for telling me.”

“I wouldn’t want to be rude,” Connor demurred, belying himself by glancing furtively at the rest of the bullpen. “I’ll see you tomorrow, Alicia.”

“Yeah,” she agreed rapidly, glancing away, and didn’t quite run off but she did walk rather quickly.

As soon as she was gone, Tina yelled, “You owe me twenty bucks, Collins!”

“God damn it,” Ben muttered, and Connor’s wince eased into a faint smile. He’d be alright.

Hank clapped him on the back, apparently coming to the same conclusion. “Thirium drinks, huh? In the mood to celebrate?”

Connor glanced around, and no one seemed overly concerned. From the door of his office, Fowler gave him a small nod, and Tina and Reed seemed to be exchanging money as well, Reed scowling faintly.

“Maybe,” he allowed after a moment, glancing at Hank. “If you don’t mind.”

“Anything to break you out of your rut, kid,” Hank jabbed. “God knows you need the help.”

“I do not,” Connor objected. “I’m doing just fine.”

There was a pause.

“Yeah,” Hank agreed at last. “I guess you are.”

#dbh #connor #hank anderson #jeffrey fowler #chloe #north #markus #josh #simon #gavin reed #tina chen #fanfiction #my writing

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redknight3996 · 5 years ago

Text

The Demon Lord’s Generals 2

Chapter 2 – The Lion’s Bane

Leok earned her name when she was twelve, still a whelp by any standard out there. ‘Sides goblins, maybe? Or summa those other smaller folks out there, though most folk were small to her.

The Ferrus Lion she fought way back then was a very big bastard though, and a hell of a fun match to fight. Its steel fur and solid hide made it practically impossible to wound with any bladed or pointed weapons, and even blunt stuff tended to bounce right off.

So her beating it down, choking it out, and snapping its neck, all with her own two hands, earned her some damn high praise when she dragged the mountain beast’s carcass back, far ahead of the rest of her hunting party. But it also earned her a cuff upside the head from the chief, so goods and bads.

“Ya don’t run off from yer party, brat,” Chief chided later on in her tent as she helped Leok carve her totem for the lion, letting the young, gold-blonde orc sit in her lap as she guided the whit-knife in her hand along a block of yellow-wood, “Even if yer goin’ up a beast alone, yer gonna want yer group ta know where ya are. One good knick and ya could be bleedin’ out fast.”

“Not my fault they're slow. If it were up ta them, we'd still be up there huntin’ the thin’...”

“Cause huntin’ requires patience. If ya keep chargin’ in head first, the beast yer huntin’ will just run off.”

“This one didn’t. I got him quick ‘nough.”

“Yeah, ya got lucky.”

That got Leok to scowl back at her chief, before pausing as Chief gripped her wrist a little tighter with one of her dark hands, keeping her from making a miscut. “...” She looked back at the on-going carving, still frowning. “Weren’t luck…”

“Hey now, no shame in luck. Luck’s important. Let’s ya know the gods like ya.” Chief chuckled, letting Leok carve on her own for a sec as she reached up and pet her short, messy hair down. “Plenty’a stuff facter inta a hunt. Strength’s important, sure, and ya got plenty’a that. Sensin’s also important. Gotta see where it goes, gotta listen close, gotta track its scents, so on.”

“And I‘m good at trackin’!”

“Yer good, but ya ain’t great. Patience is ‘portant, little lion. Sometimes ya get lucky and run inta a big, hungry beastie lookin’ fer a fight, but plenty’a times, y’ll be runnin’ fer weeks tryin’ ta track just one big, angry beastie who’s far too clever fer ya.”

“Hmph...I’m smarter than a beast…”

“Not all beasts, and it’s not always ‘bout bein’ smart. Ya can be the smartest, cleverest hunter out there, but if yer goin’ inta a new place, no idea what’s lyin’ out there, y’ll wind up gettin’ killed by somethin’ that just knows the area better’n ya.”

“...Like Tuzik Spike-Heart?”

“Oh, so ya are listenin’ ta Gran’s stories.”

Leok shrugged then, trying to focus on getting the small totem rounded right. Least that’s what she’d say if asked. Truth was, she was a proud girl, and embarrassment was painful. “...Summa ‘em. The smart ones.”

“Heh. And which ones’re those?”

“Summa ‘em. Ya probably know more’n me since yer listenin’ ta everyone all the time.”

“Probably do. Y’d learn just as many if ya listened too.”

Leok snorted. “Listenin’s fer chiefs. I’m gonna be a warrior, and make my own tribe’a warriors! Maybe unite all’a the orcs out there, make somethin’...big!”

“Ha! Really now? Ya got a conqueror’s heart in ya now?”

“I might!” Chief’s heavy hand dropped right on her head and started mussing her hair, earning a yelp from Leok. “H-Hey! Yer ruinin’ my concentration!”

“Gra ha ha! Bet I am! Can’t help it though, not when yer bein’ this cute.”

“I ain’t cute!”

“Yer a kid, kids are cute, deal with it. Also, speakin’ as an old warrior here, I’m gonna say that ya don’t have a conqueror’s heart. Ya got a warrior’s.”

“Yeah yeah…” Leok would’ve just grumbled and went on as usual, but...some little curiosity made her ask, “What’s the difference?”

“Heh. Big difference.” Chief let out a sigh. “...Real big difference. Startin’...ya remember Harvest-Maker and Harvest-Taker?”

“Eh? That kid story?”

“Yup, that’s the one. What d’ya ‘member ‘bout it?”

Leok shrugged, trying to think as she worked. “Uh...Once there were two orc brothers. Both were strong and tough, but one decided ta guard his tribe and the other turned bandit. The first brother, was the younger one I think?” At Chief’s nod, she continued, “He talked ta a lotta folk and orc as he walked with his tribe and made his people happy ‘cause he brought in food and coin by talkin’ good. Second brother, who was older, was meaner though, and got a buncha other meaner orcs t’gether ta rob folk. He was good at it and got a lot, but got the folks mad at ‘im and they dragged ‘im offa his horse and hacked ‘im ta pieces. His brother though, he lived long and happy ‘cause he made ‘is tribe happy, right?”

Chief grinned. “Close. See, Maker was a warrior. He worked fer his own good, ‘long with his tribe’s good. By bein’ smart and workin’ with folk, tradin’ with ‘em, huntin’ the beasts that gave ‘em trouble, he didn’t get rich, but he got enough. Enough ta live, not just survive. And he was a whole lot happier, cause he had people that loved him and wanted ta see him happy.

“Taker though, he wanted ta take. He didn’t respect folk and he didn’t respect orc; he only cared ‘bout gainin’. Not keepin’, but gainin’. More and more, always more. What he got, he wasted on drink and feasts. He was a glutton, and his new tribe weren’t even a real tribe, ‘cause none’a ‘em really cared ‘bout each other, not deep down. They could pal, sure, but they only wanted ta have their wants. Was why none’a ‘em helped when the folk came after Taker. Real tribe, they keep ya safe and ya keep ‘em safe in return.”

“...” Leok considered that, frowning as she carved the mouth. “So...I shouldn’t make a tribe’a warriors?”

“Ya could. But thin’ is, fighters gotta have reasons ta fight. What would they do if they ain’t got someone ta fight fer?”

“...Huh…”

“‘Sides, wouldn’t ya rather have plenty’a people around ta help out? Gotta have coinkeepers ta keep track’a accounts, and yer little pal there, Bekah, she don’t wanna be a warrior, does she?”

“Nah, she likes cookin’...Sero’s good at axe-throwin’ though. He could help.”

“Ya really wanna trust yer tribe ta just Sero?”

“Nah, he’s kinda shit.”

Chief let out a bark of laughter and ruffled her hair again, grinning wide, her larger tusks almost gleaming in tent’s lantern-light. “Ya see what I mean? Though don’t cuss.”

“Hm...Hyp’crite.”

“Hypocrite, ya little brat. Use yer words right.”

“Yes chief…” So young Leok grumbled, got back to work, and carved her totem. It was simple enough, and worked fine for a belt buckle, but the main, most important thing was that she’d earned her name and it was a big one. Not Leok Lion-Break or Leok Lion-Hunt.

No, she was a Bane of the Beast-Bane tribe. She was Leok Lion-Bane. And every orc out there was gonna know her name.

–2 Years Later–

Chief was a weird orc. Plenty nice to Leok and all the rest of the tribe, but she stood out, partially cause of her attitude and partially cause of her looks.

Her looks were the obvious part, on account of the Chief being a High Orc.

High Orcs were a rare type of orc, like a weird thing. Not a mutation, like Gura Three-Tusk or Lurtol Six-Finger, but like a special type. One way she heard it described was that High Orcs were like Lycans were to humans, but then there were Kapros out there that weren’t High Orcs, so…

To be more clear, appearance-wise, the Chief was taller than the average orc–at around 6’8” instead of the 6’4” average–and had dark brown skin instead of green or gray, or even the pink of Sun Land orcs. Apparently it was a sign of her type being closer to the gods or something, like those old Sun Land Imperials and all.

She also had longer tusks–which, orc-ishly speaking, was a lot more of a sign of status than any skin stuff–and a tail. A longish one, with a tuft of hair at the end that she liked poking at people with to mess with them, or just to play with kids, who liked grabbing at it. Not that Leok ever did that kinda thing when she was tiny.

Oh, and the Chief also had really shaggy white hair–like a ‘platinum blonde’ instead of Leok’s golden blonde–and her eyes were like a kinda...green-amber. Lots a little flecks and looked pretty weird at times, but the Chief was weird in general, so that was that.

And she could also turn into a boar. Like, a big boar, like a kaprothrope. Was interesting and sometimes she’d let people ride on her back if they were having trouble. Chief didn’t have a lot of pride, but she did have confidence.

Least that’s how she explained it to Leok. Apparently there was a difference?

Maybe it was a “conqueror/warrior” thing, where the difference seemed small but meant a lot. She didn’t understand, not at that point, but Leok did give an effort to watch how her chief talked with people, whether they were folk or orc.

She tended to be real polite with folk, speaking nice and polite and offering help and trade, and be a lot more casual and boisterous with other orc, though she was plenty friendly either way. There was more than a couple times she’d sell hides and meat for less than it was worth when she saw a tribe or town was going through rough times, apparently because “gainin’ goodwill’s worth more than havin’ a ton we’ll never use”.

Chief didn’t care about being rich, but it was still kinda a surprise to Leok to see how much worse off a lot of folk and orc were. Gobs especially seemed to have it rougher than most–something about hobs coming from up north looking for territory–and their tribe wound up playing escort to a few of them more than a few times.

It was interesting, talking with folk that’d lost their lands. Some orcs settled in places, but most tribes were nomads, heading to wherever game and grazing were good on the plains, so the concept of outright losing land felt kinda weird to think. It did make some sense though. Gobs and humans weren’t as tough as orcs, so they settled in places and made forts and alliances to keep out the dangers.

Didn’t feel fair though. If the dangers were too much, if folk like hobs or even orc bandit bands came after them, then they didn’t have anywhere to go at all.

Didn’t feel fair at all, and she said as much to the chief as the two rode alongside each other, following the trails to one the eastward towns.

“Yeah, it ain’t,” Chief agreed, “But it is how it is.”

“Yeah, but...why? Ya said folk were tough, right? So why don’t they all join up? Like a big army?”

Chief snorted. “I thought ya said ya were too big fer stories?”

Leok shook her head, her hair longer, but braided nicely. “Nah. The gob grans have interestin’ ones. Lotta stuff ‘bout old builders’n leaders.”

“I noticed. Why ya think I asked that?” She chuckled, leaning back in her saddle and patting Strider’s white mane, earning a whinny from the huge black horse. “Yer listenin’ ta a lotta tales’a leaders then?”

“Yeah, lotta ‘em. Big ones, unitin’ towns and tribes and stuff. Like...Jee-ahnma...Ghian…” She frowned, trying to figure out the unfamiliar syllables.

“Don’t hurt yerself.”

“Ah fuck off.”

“And no cussin’!” Chief pointed at her, then sighed again, still grinning. “They ever mention how most’a those leaders got their idiot selves killed?”

“...Uh...Not really? They aren’t around, so I thought they were gone, but...what d’ya mean?”

Chief shrugged. “Remind me ta talk ta ya about ‘Demon Lords’ later.”

Leok blinked. “What, like the ones in Gran’s old stories?”

“Nah, different. Not ‘Demon Princes’, not ‘Demon Kings’. Somethin’ both better and worse, in a whole lotta ways.”

“...” Leok glanced at her chief again. She was staring straight ahead, and her eyes seemed...more tired than usual. And for a moment, Leok wondered if Chief always had such deep bags under her eyes. “...Why can’t ya tell me now?”

“Easy. Cause town’s comin’ up ahead, and looks like we’re not the only tribe stayin’.” Chief suddenly grinned, then urged Strider into a gallop, leaving Leok and Apple-Eater in the literal dust, blinking after her in confusion.

And sure enough, right outside the town of Dasloh were a number of tents set up, though they were all a bright red instead of the shades of yellow most Hayland orcs tended to use to blend into the plants around. Leok didn’t know of any red forests out in the Dark Lands, so this new tribe would probably stand out just about anywhere.

“Ho the camp!” Chief called out from a decent distance, grinning easily as a couple of the camp’s orcs glanced over, letting Leok get a good look at the noticeably gray orcs–which probably meant they were coming from further east. They were all wearing feathered cloaks and coats over their leathers too, mostly in reds and browns.

“Is there somethin’ you need, traveler?” One of the orcs asked as he raised a hand, returning her greeting. He and the other orcs around had a whole lot of red-orange tattoos across their arms and faces, marking and making it obvious which Ancient they followed.

“Just ta inform ya my tribe is going to be stoppin’ here too. Don't worry, I'll lead them ta the other side of the town.”

“Is that so?” The orc grinned, standing straighter. “Well, if you and yours are in need of some entertainment, we’re more than willin’ to oblige. For a price, of course.”

“That so?” Chief echoed with a smirk of her own, “Never seen a troupe’a all orcs before.”

“In that case, you can consider this a rare opportunity well worth the price of admission!” he replied, gesturing with his hands as he spoke. Real theatric guy.

“Ha! Guess I'll have ta take ya up on that. Try not ta leave before we're done settin’ up.”

“We'll save you a spot in tonight's show,” the orc said as he bowed to her with a flourish.

Staying aways back as Chief returned to her, Leok looked over at the camp itself. Seemed most orcs had gone back to what they were doing once they realized it was just another tribe. Went a lot better than how it usually did there, since most tribes didn't like sharing spots, especially when it came to towns. One orc tribe being nearby was a good trading partner to most folk, but there were plenty who got suspicious, and those paranoid voices got a lot louder the more orcs were around.

Though, before she pulled the reins on Apple-Eater to head on back with Chief, she paused as she noticed an odd orc in particular was staring at her. A small thing, probably younger than her, but wearing full black instead of the browns and reds everyone else had.

“...” After a second, she raised a hand and waved over to the kid, who blinked, staring right back at her. Another few seconds passed, and the kid–looked like a girl, from what Leok could tell–raised a hand in return and waved hesitantly. So of course Leok smiled back at the shy kid, waving again before riding off to catch up with her chief.

And much later on, once they’d got all their tents set up and carriages set, Leok decided to seek out that kid again. She didn’t know what was up with the girl and her black feather cloak, but if she was standing out for some reason, there had to be something interesting going on with her.

The rest of the Fire-Art tribe was pretty amazing already, with all the fancy tricks they were showing off at their carnival. Lotta fire magic going off–made sense, considering the name–in big shows, like plays featuring dragons and monsters made of flames or glass sculptures made easy for folks to buy. Add in the lively music and cheerful feeling the whole place gave off, and it was hard for Leok to keep from smiling as she walked around.

Still, she had a self-appointed mission she was on–though the sight of a big lion made out of flames chasing an equally fiery gazelle through the sky was damn impressive–so she definitely couldn’t afford any distractions. Though barbecued meat at the food stands smelled fantastic…

Eventually, she did manage to catch sight of the black-cloaked kid again while she was munching on a skewer, and for the briefest moment, she felt kinda stupid for thinking the kid might be hanging around somewhere special instead of just sitting with her knees up to her chest and watching one of the fire shows with the other kids, but that moment passed quick and Leok headed right on over, taking a seat beside the kid.

“Hey there!” she greeted, grinning. Then she paused and tried to get some of the beef out from between her teeth with her tongue.

“Heh...hi yerself.”

“Nn...I get it?”

“Most’a it.”

“Nice!” Leok grinned again, moving her skewer to her left hand then leaning over with her right to shake the kid’s. “Name’s Leok Lion-Bane!”

The kid blinked. “Y’have a surname?” Then once that sunk in, she finally shook Leok’s hand, her face turning a little red. “Sorry. Uh, my name’s Crow.”

“I sure do! And nice ta meetcha Crow. Were ya named that fer yer coat or did that come later?”

“Came later. Gramma Col said I was all small and dark when I was born, like a crow.”

Leok nodded, continuing to grin. “Makes sense ta me. My tribe’s Gran named me Leok cause that’s like a lion’s name, and I got all this gold hair like one.”

“Huh...Lions’re named Leok?”

“Nah, they’re named Leo. No ‘K’, cause they’re not orcs.”

“Oohh…”

Leok giggled at the smaller orc’s nod of understanding, then leaned back, watching the show for a minute or so. “So how old are ya?”

“Eleven.”

“Yeah, that makes sense too. I’m fourteen!”

“Makes sense ta me,” Crow echoed, nodding again and earning another giggle from Leok, who really couldn’t help it. The smaller orc was just too serious sounding, it was cute. “Why’d ya look fer me?”

“Cause you were lookin’ at me. Made me curious.” Leok glanced at her. “So why were ya doin’ that?”

“...I got a feelin’ when I saw ya.”

“A good feelin’?”

Crow shrugged. “...Somethin’ like one? Just saw ya and thought…’she’s important’. Jus’ that thought...Might’a saw somethin’ too.”

Leok was trying to seem casual, still leaned back, but her attention was fully on Crow. “And what’d ya see? Other than me, a’course.”

“Nah, was still ya, but y’were...bigger. Adult, I think. And ya had this armor on, all gold and...big, fancy. And I was followin’ ya, along with a lotta other orcs...Not just orc, also other folks.”

“...Like a lord?”

Crow tilted her head, obviously thinking, and apparently not noticing...whatever was in Leok’s tone there. She herself didn’t really know what it was. Eagerness? Fear? Something. “Maybe? Ya were a leader though, that I’m sure.”

“...Heh. Huh.”

“Or could be nothin’, sorry.” Crow seemed to shrink in on herself, maybe mistaking Leok’s thoughtful tone for skepticism. “I’m still just learnin’ from Gram in the fortune stuff, I haven’t-”

Leok clapped a hand to her back, earning an abrupt squeak from the younger orc. Once Crow’s attention was on her again though, Leok grinned wide. “Thanks fer tellin’ me that. Ya just gave me a lot ta think about.”

“...Y-Yer welcome.”

Then Leok studied Crow for a moment, a slow smile creeping up her face. “Hey. When yer older, I’m gonna be even bigger and better than I am now. So when I’m at that point, and I find ya again, do ya wanna become my shaman?”

“...” And with wide eyes, Crow slowly nodded. “Y-Yeah. Yeah, definitely!”

“Good! Then work hard ta be the best ya can, because when I come back, I’m gonna be more than worthy’a bein’ yer boss.”

–Four Years Later–

Even at eighteen, Crow’s words from that one evening burned in the back of Leok’s mind. They stuck in her head, sounding out like echoes in a valley. Sometimes louder, sometimes quiet, but always there.

It’s what drove her to improve. If she was gonna be any kind of leader, she’d have to be stronger and smarter. The type who would never lose in any fight, physical or magical, and smart enough to know how to lead.

Those words–that promise that she’d be great–was why she was sitting on a lake island, completely naked with her legs crossed on the cold grass. Gran sat opposite her, her own darker, scarred body just as bare, letting Leok see the deep blue tattoos that crossed her old, weathered skin. At two hundred and sixteen, she was the oldest orc Leok knew, but she still looked damn strong, her green skin wrinkled and leathery but her muscles as solid as ever, same as her tusks. Though a few of her teeth had been replaced with iron ones over the years.

Sure, she looked all saggy in places and her white hair had thinned to the point that the half-blind elder just chopped it short, but there was no mistaking the power going through her. A different kind of power than the chief though. More...wise, instead of strong.

The tribe had stopped in a nice spot on the plains, nearby Tarkus Lake, some kinda sacred place. She didn’t really know why it was sacred, but when she went to Gran, telling her she was ready to earn her colors, Gran went right to the chief and told her to divert their course thataway. And the chief didn’t argue at all, so it was definitely an important thing.

“...Well I’ll be damned,” Gran finally spoke, her thin lips cracking in a grin as her eyes opened up again, one a deep green, the other a milky white, “Ya really are ready.”

“What, ya doubted me?” Leok almost grinned back, but this was a sacred thing. She had to take it seriously. But one thought did nag at her. “Why’d ya have Chief head here if ya weren’t sure?”

“The mystic thoughts of an elder can only be understood by reachin’ that age yerself,” she replied, closing her eyes and nodding serenely as though that answered things. It didn't mean much to Leok, but since the wisest of her tribe had said it, it probably meant a lot.

“Right, so since I'm ready, come on! Let's go ta the next step!”

Gran shrugged. “Alright, if ya want.”

“Come on, I–Wait, really?” Leok blinked. “Yer not gonna say somethin’ about how ‘patience is good’ or somethin’?”

“Course not. If yer ready, yer ready.” Gran smiled, a few of her iron teeth glimmering in the noon-day sunlight. “Takin’ a step like this means becomin’ an adult, Leok Lion-Bane. It ain’t somethin’ ya get inta if ya really aren’t ready fer it, and everythin’ about yer soul says yer ready. Sure, Rishak would probably prefer if I waited two years so ya get there the same as everyone else, but that’s cause she worries easy.”

“...Ya were talking about the chief there, right? She worries easy?”

“Course she does. Chiefs worry. They need ta. It’s part’a their responsibilities, and I’ve told ya plenty’a stories’a those chiefs that were so confident in themselves, they didn’t even think’a worryin’ when they really shoulda.”

“Yeah, ya have...So...What comes next?”

Gran cracked another grin. “First, yer gonna needa center yerself. Ya remember how ta meditate?”

“Ah, right.” Leok nodded, then took a breath and clenched her hands into fists, pressing them together in front of her stomach, at her core. She took another breath–in and out, slow as could be; five in, six out–and let herself fall into that rhythm.

“Good good, yer doin’ good. Keep up that breath. Now, I want ya ta think back ta my lessons. Not the stories, but the theology. Who are the gods?”

“...” Leok wasn’t sure if she was supposed to answer at that moment, but she gave it a try. “The Ouza?”

Gran chuckled. “Yeah, that’s one answer. But we’re lookin’ fer a more complete one. And not fer the lower ones. Fer the Ancients. Who are they?”

Their creators, the ones who formed all demons, all dragons, all leviathans, all– “They’re the mothers of us all.”

“Right. Now specifics. What are their Names?”

Leok took a deep breath there. She needed it to help focus, to remember lessons she knew by heart, but kept in the back of her mind in favor of more immediately important things. “Rupture, the Ancient Eruption, Grandmother’a Molten Flames. Fathom, the Ancient Deep, Grandmother’a Kaz...Chasmic Seas? Uh, Tempest, the Ancient Sky, Grandmother’a Ragin’ Squalls. Stygian, the Ancient Thought, Grandmother’a...uh...Bound…” She grimaced, sure she knew the answer, then nodded firmly once she got it. “Boundless Minds.”

“Hmmmm...Yup, that’s all’a ‘em. Nice work rememberin’. Now, hold out yer hands.”

Leok did, and tried her best not to open her eyes when she felt heavy weight settle in her open palms.

“Y’know ya can open yer eyes now, right?”

She did not, but open them she did, which let her see the chunk of clear quartz in her hands. “...Huh. What’m I doin’ with this?”

“Yer holdin’ it.” Gran chuckled as Leok frowned at her. “That little jewel there’s gonna help ya figure some stuff out. First, I want ya ta look at it. What color would ya say it is?”

Leok blinked, then stared at the jagged crystal, small points jutting up from a smooth base like trees on a hill. “...Uh, like...white? It’s clear, mostly, but kinda towards the bottom…?”

“That’s a good ‘nough way’a sayin’ it. The white there isn’t exactly white though. It’s more like ‘absence’.”

“...’n that means?”

“Means nothin’s in there yet. Like yer marks.”

Leok blinked, then glanced at the white lines going up her right forearm, connecting straight from the circle around her elbow to the one around her wrist, kinda like a painted bracer. She’d gotten it done years ago as a way to practice magic, like the other kids her age. “Huh? What’s wrong with my marks?”

“Nothin’ wrong with ‘em, they’re just not complete yet. Ya haven’t found yer type yet, yer ‘affinity’. Ya wanna do more’n just make light balls and signals, right?”

“Well yeah, course. Just...How does this thin’ let me do that?”

“Easy. Ya already know how ta make light. Just push that same power out here, inta the crystal.”

And when Leok did exactly that, she saw what was easily the most beautiful sight she could’ve ever seen.

In that one chunk of quartz–which had gone from its pale, clear, white, to a burning, vibrate mix of molten reds speckled with black–she saw the fire she’d felt burning in the back of her head for all those years.

And with that beautiful sight, her fire burst free, and lit her soul alight.

–Eight Years Later–

Leok panted, her breath coming heavier than it ever had before. Sweat ran down her face and mixed with the blood leaking from her busted nose and split lips, soaking down her bare chest like it would mix with the crimson flames tattooed into her bruised and scraped skin.

“C’mon. Get up,” she commanded, like her arms didn’t feel like dead weights at her sides. She’d cut her hair short for this match. It was that damn important.

And about three hours into it, her Chief was lying in the sand, flat on her back for the first time Leok had ever seen. For the first time most of their tribe had ever seen, if she was right.

And everyone was seeing it. All the adults of her tribe waited outside the ring they’d formed, distant enough for respect, close enough to see. To see their Chief, the greatest beast of their tribe, down in the sand of a lakeside beach.

“Come on. Get up.” Little more insistently that time. Even years later, she’d wonder why she was so insistent there. She knew this was a step she had to take. She knew she would have to beat her own chief to reach that point. But a part of her, on that sunny day, had insisted that the Chief never lost to anyone. Not even her.

It wasn’t like the Chief hadn’t fought her hard. For the first time, Chief had let her beast slip in a fight. She’d let that thick fur cover her, let her feet harden into hooves, let her tusks get longer and curved like blades, and Leok had still laid her flat. Not without injury, not without effort.

But one of them was standing, and the other was on the ground, and in the eyes of the world and its history, that was the only thing that would ever matter.

“...hgh…ghh...ghh-hh…” Chief lifted her hand–slowly, painfully, like she was trying to lift the sky–and let it fall against her face, her shoulders shaking as she covered her face.

“...Don’t...Don’t cry ‘cause ya lost,” Leok said. She didn’t beg there. She couldn’t. She was the chief now.

“N’t...d-dun’t...f-f’ckin’ f-fladder yerzelf...b-brat.” Her voice was made of broken things. A broken nose, broken teeth, broken jaw, broken ribs and collarbones, but it all held together strong, and there wasn’t even a hint of a broken spirit in it. “Gh hh hh…’m zo f’ckin’...zo f’ckin’ prowd.”

And that was the breaking point for Leok. Tears fell from her eyes as she fell to her knees, a little laugh that sounded like a sob sounding out over the lake, before strong arms wrapped around her and helped her up, a wide grin on Gran’s face.

“Congratulations, Chief.”

That seemed to be the signal for everyone to immediately start crowding, shouting congratulations, cheering the ‘awesome match’, and helping Chief...helping Rishak up to her feet.

That night, they had a feast to fully swear her in, and Leok Lion-Bane–sitting at the honored spot among all her tribe, all laughing and cheering her name, with Rishak’s voice easily being the loudest–became the newest Chief of the Beast-Bane Tribe.

–Five Years Later–

“Yer leavin’?”

“Yup. Soon enough, I will be,” Rishak replied, grinning at Leok in the lights of her tent. Of Leok’s tent. The Chief’s tent.

Still felt weird, sitting on the chief’s pillow. It was a simple thing, large and yellow, like the fields of Korikala. Felt comfy enough. Made her seem taller than she was. “...Why? I mean...I know ya weren’t born in the tribe, but…”

“Yer my family,” Rishak confirmed, even though Leok should’ve known it would be her answer, “And don’t get all insecure, yer better than that.”

“Sure, Gran.”

Rishak’s eye twitched. “...I swear ya told the kids ta start callin’ me that. Rulak ain’t even dead yet and yer already settin’ me up ta take her over.”

Leok snorted, ignoring the little pang at the idea of her Gran dying. She was getting older by the day and all… “I can’t help what the kids call ya. Besides, is it a bad thing?”

“Nah, it ain’t. It’s kinda cute.” Rishak shrugged. “Still. I’m thinkin’ yer set here. Y’ve got a good handle on the tribe, y’ve got a good feel fer the folk around, yer good at talkin’, and yer damn good at fightin’. Ain’t lost a fight yet, right?”

“Only ever lost ta ya, and ya know it.”

“And ya won against me.”

Leok nodded. “And I won against ya. And y’still stuck around afterward. So why now?”

“...Yer movin’ the tribe east, ain’tcha?”

She raised an eyebrow. “Yeah. I ain’t been keepin’ it a secret. Thin’s sound bad down south. Folk and orc say some crazy shit goin’ on in the swamps.”

“Sayin’ more’n that.” Rishak scratched at her neck, stretching it a little. “Hm...Ya know what they’re sayin’, yeah?”

Leok’s eyes narrowed. “That there’s a Demon Lord risin’ up.”

Rishak nodded. “Last one’a those...think it was back when ya weren’t even crawlin’ yet. Name was Orast. Kinda a prick.”

That was the moment it all fit together for Leok, truth hitting her like a rock to the head. “So why’re ya stayin’?”

Rishak winced, let out a little sigh, and stared at her much more evenly and seriously. “Cause not everyone can just up an’ leave their homes. So someone has ta make sure they're safe.”

“Then-Then we'll sta-”

“No, ya won't. It's yer job as the chief to protect the tribe. So keep ‘em safe, and keep ‘em movin’.”

“...Only if ya stay safe too.”

“Ha! I lose one fight and ya think I'm just a pushover?”

“...”

“...Look, Lee, I'll be alright. I'm the second strongest orc on all’a Estus, I won't go down that easy.”

“Why d’ya need ta do this? Just tell me that.”

“...” Rishak let out another sigh and scratched her head. “... I made a lotta mistakes in the past. Teamed up with the wrong folk ‘n treated my tribe like trash. Eventually, it all caught up ta me, but I was lucky enough ta make it out alive. ‘n once I met this tribe, I made it my mission ta keep them safe. And now that they have you, I'm gonna keep others safe.”

“And what about you? Who’s gonna keep ya safe?”

Rishak snorted. “I am, a’course. Seriously, ya can’t be-”

“I could order ya ta stay here.”

“...”

Leok tried to keep her gaze steady on Rishak. “I’m yer chief. We both know I can beat ya in a fight. I could keep ya here.”

“...” Rishak sighed. “Ya could. Yeah.”

“...Rishak, as yer chief, I’m orderin’ ya not ta throw yer life away.”

Her eyes narrowed. “Lee-”

“I ain’t orderin’ ya ta stay.” Leok took a little breath. “...Ya can go out, ya can protect people. That’s fine. Just don’t die. No playin’ hero, no grand last stands, no old warrior sacrificin’ herself against a stronger fighter. Yer survivin’, ya got it?”

“...” Rishak visibly swallowed, her voice tight. “Y-Yeah Chief. I understand ya.”

“...And when yer out there, rescuin’ folk ‘n all...tell the ones that can go out that the Beast-Bane tribe’s acceptin’ any refugees. Orc or folk, long as they wanna travel with us. Even if it’s just ta the nearest safe town.”

“...Heh. Geh heh…Yer a good...A real good chief, Chief.” Rishak smiled wide. “I’m gonna meet up with ya again. Promise.”

Leok smiled back. “And I’ll be waitin’ fer ya. Promise.”

Despite their big, sappy goodbye there, it took some time for Rishak Folk-Bane to actually leave the tribe. A lotta people needed to be said goodbye to, after all, and Leok was pretty sure her old chief was putting off leaving, at least a little.

Still, the time came, as it had to, and Leok saw her mentor off with a tight hug and a promise that they’d see each other again.

And sure, it would be some time before they did, but it was, thankfully, a promise they both kept.

–2 Years Later–

So Irascagan got fucking dead after two years of being a jackass. Woo.

Some lightlander brats offed him and his band of murdering monsters–good riddance to bad garbage–and with him gone, all the tension of the last two years just melted away.

Leok also met up with Crow again in those two years. Took a little while, lots of travel time, lots of transporting people through all the marshy, rainy lands of Inrapaba–which was a real pain in the ass, especially since it seemed like everybody out there was way into the idea of “taxes” and making sure her caravan “paid their dues”–and a few moments of punching out asshole bandits–or “gangsters”, since apparently they were more organized than the normal sort–but she eventually ran into Crow and the Fire-Art tribe outside a decently-sized city called Lordsgrave.

“Holy shit, y’look awesome,” was how Leok greeted the gal she hadn’t seen in 19 years. Though it was a plenty appropriate greeting, considering how awesome Crow looked.

“Yer lookin’ good yerself,” Crow greeted in turn, her black-painted lips quirked up in obvious amusement and matching the pitch-black tattoos curving all around her taller, broader and much more muscular body. Though she was still at least two inches shorter than Leok, much to her own amusement. “Beast-Bane Chief now, huh, Lion-Bane?”

“Yup. Been it fer a good seven years now, Crow…?”

Crow’s grin took on a smugger look. “Shaman Crow Black-Art. At yer service, Chief.” And then she bowed low, her feathered, hooded cloak almost making her look like the bird she was named for. “If you’ll have me, of course.”

“Ha! D’ya even need ta ask? Welcome ta the tribe!”

And that was that. No dramatics, no big event, just a simple transfer of an awesome shaman from one tribe to another. Sure, there were more big goodbyes and such, but that was mostly the Fire-Arts just saying they’d miss Crow and giving hugs and all, and Leok did offer to join up their tribes, but their chief, Rola Red-Art, declined, saying that he and his people preferred performing and all.

Leok didn’t consider that an issue, so more fond goodbyes were said and the Beast-Bane tribe moved on. And after that, things fell into a pretty peaceful routine, for an orc tribe.

Plenty of things happened, sure. Lots of traveling tended to bring lots of adventures, like hunting down deadly beasts that were bothering towns, having some sporting competitions with other tribes, and punching out some wereshark prick and his weird gang of other therians that were calling themselves the “Menagerie” for some reason, like they were some dumbass zoo, like in the bigger cities.

Speaking of, the Beast-Banes had gotten a decent reputation in a lotta cities and towns, both in Korikala and Inrapa, and that meant plenty of travel, trade, and good opportunities for growing the tribe and making sure everyone was taken care of, to the point that they’d turned into one of the biggest tribes out there.

And really, at that point, then and there, Leok thought she was pretty damn satisfied. Like she’d gotten almost everything settled, and now her life would just be one of peaceful growth, no need to worry about the assholes out there that could never beat her in a fight. Hell, she even fought an outworlder martial artist, using moves she’d never seen before, and still beat him. Granted, it was a slow-going growth, one that took a lotta time and a lotta work.

Maybe that’s why it took so long for Rishak to find them again.

–Around 5 Years After That–

“What the fuck happened ta yer leg?” was how Leok decided to greet her former chief and mentor who she hadn’t seen in seven years. Though it wasn’t exactly like she decided to say that. More like it just slipped out the instant she saw the brass prosthetic replacing her mentor’s right leg all the way up to the thigh.

“Is that how ya greet yer elder ya disrespectful little shit!?” was how her loving ex-chief and mentor decided to greet her back.

“It is when yer damn leg’s gone! And I’m only two inches shorter than ya!”

“Yer still shorter, and yeah, it is. It’s what happens when yer tryin’ ta get folk outta town and ya get pinned by rubble.”

Leok blinked. “...Oh. Ah, sorry. It just…” She paused. “...Is that what really happened?”

“...” Rishak glanced to the side, staring at the lounge’s wall as she scratched at her cheek. “...Well, uh...ya see, sometimes, someone loses a leg when they get pinned and it just gets wrecked beyond fixin’. Other times...they might pick a fight with a beastfolk general and wind up gettin’ their leg torn off by a direwolf when they weren’t lookin’...”

Leok just sighed, then hugged Rishak tight. “I missed ya.”

“...Missed ya too.”

“...Hn.” Leok paused, remembering that there was someone else still in the room. Two someones.

She glanced over at the young, dark-skinned human woman in all white who’d made that small, conflicted noise, who just looked away and took a sip of her tea while her way paler and blatantly vampiric friend chuckled at his own chair. “Oh no, don’t mind us, please! Enjoy your reunion!”

“...Right.” Leok let go of Rishak and took a seat at one of the remaining chairs around the tea table, which was in the lounge–or a lounge–in Bleaksky Manor, which was in Blekhon County, which was a county in Inrapaba. Noble territories worked in some weird ways, but all Leok really knew was that they hadn’t had to pay any taxes while in the county, so she was already pretty damn sure these nobles hosting her reunion with Rishak wanted something. “I think we’ve been ‘reunioned’ enough here, and I’d like ta get down ta business here. Why’d ya put this meetin’ together?”

Turned out, the answer was a really simple one. The young lady, who was apparently Countess Valondrac–which was weird, because the vampire was the actual Bleaksky there–wanted Rishak to join her household as some kinda commander, but Rishak decided somebody else would be better suited for the job.

“...Yer kiddin’, right? Rishak, I got the tribe ta take care of-”

“No no, see, that’s the nice part. In exchange fer becomin’ Claire’s general here, she’s gonna give our tribe free reign ta go wherever we want in the County.”

“That I will,” Valondrac added in with a grin, “No travel tax, no worrying about permits, you’ll have complete freedom to go wherever you feel like, and even settle down if you want to.”

“...Yer willin’ ta give us that much?”

“Yup! It’s part of the price I negotiated with Miss Folk-Bane, so transferring it over your way should be fine, no?”

“No.”

Valondrac blinked. “No?”

Leok shook her head. “No. That’s a good deal, but I ain’t lookin’ ta join up with some noble’s guard. I appreciate the offer, but I’m gonna hafta decline.”

“...” Valondrac studied her for a moment, then smirked. “I’m not looking for a guard. I’m looking for a general. After all, I need strong people by my side if I’m ever going to take over the world.”

“Look, I appreciate what yer-...” Then it was Leok’s turn to blink. “...Take over the world?”

“That’s the plan! Though you may want to keep it a secret for a while. Jonny pointed out that I’ll need to build up my base a lot more before I go all out and declare myself the newest Demon Lord.”

Leok looked to “Jonny”, who grinned and waved, then over at Rishak. “...Did ya know about this?”

“Yup.”

“...I thought ya didn’t like Demon Lords?”

Rishak grinned. “Most’a ‘em. But her honesty appeals ta me, and...well, let’s say she reminded me a lot’a some other proud brat I know.”

Leok paused there, then looked at Valondrac, who was frowning at Rishak for the “brat” comment. “...Hm. Alright, ya got my interest. But. I ain’t workin’ fer someone weaker than I am. Protectin’, sure. Guardin’, sure. But if ya want me ta call ya my boss, my actual, full superior, ya gotta prove yer worth it.”

“Huh...Alright, you’re on.” Valondrac grinned. “Don’t go easy on me. I want this to be fun.”

Leok snorted, grinning back at the arrogant kid and definitely seeing why Rishak liked her. In that moment, the thought crossed her mind that, when Claire lost to her, she might just stick around anyway. She could train the brat up, like her chief did for her… “Don’t go cryin’ when ya lose, ya got it?”

Claire’s yellow eyes gleamed. “Got it~.”

And that’s how Leok met the second person out there who could consistently kick her ass, along with the only one she still couldn’t beat in a fight. Not that she minded. Working with Claire gave her tribe a good chunk of land to live and her plenty of opportunities to try again.

And hey, it wasn’t like her Boss was a bad person to work for. Hell, considering everything she knew about the world, maybe it needed someone powerful enough to take charge.

Still, she couldn’t help laughing when she realized Crow’s vision had come true. Her shaman just made one little mistake about who was actually leading that army.

#writing #fantasy #the demon lord's generals #dlg #story #my writing #orcs

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gwenjoon · 7 years ago

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Flash Thompson is Gay: A Comprehensive Visual Essay

TRIGGER WARNINGS: alcoholism, abuse, homophobia, brief reference to The Child Within, which contains pedophilia

Over the last year and half or so, I have read a number of Spider-Man comics and have reached many conclusions about them, but my utmost conclusion is that Flash Thompson is a gay man. It is very difficult for me to label male characters as gay, since we’ve all seen the way fandom can completely brush off women in favor of imagined gay men, but once this idea took hold, it stuck. I do not see Flash as truly having been intended to be gay since his conception, or even highly coded that way like Kitty Pryde or Johnny Storm. But along the lines of Bobby Drake, I just feel that it would be the final puzzle piece that would make his 50+ years of character development make sense.

This is not intended as propaganda or a way of seeing representation where it doesn’t exist, but a simple compilation of evidence.

We begin in high school.

Flash will probably always be known as something of a high school bully, even though he was only in high school for 28 issues in the 60s. It’s still hotly debated by fans and Spider-Man writers about how MUCH of a bully he was. In Lee and Ditko’s original comics, it certainly seemed like he and Peter were more mutually antagonistic towards each other, with the caveat that Flash was popular and Peter wasn’t.

No matter what, Flash had a fanboy obsession with Spider-Man, and maybe a bit of an obsession with Peter Parker, too, something both Peter and their classmates noticed and teased him for.

There were times when Flash actually made some sort of attempts to be Peter’s friend, but Peter being Peter, and Flash being Flash, the attempts didn’t go well.

Flash was dating Liz Allan at this point. She teased Peter too, but eventually got sick of Flash berating Peter and dumped him. She then pursued a bit of a crush on Peter (which didn’t really go anywhere since Peter was pretty into Betty at this point). Flash didn’t like being dumped, but he seemed to focus more on the Peter part of this situation and ended up, like, stalking him. In a cute way.

SO Peter and Flash both get scholarships to ESU and kind of . . . accidentally become friends. How does it happen? I don’t know. They don’t even know. But it happens. Basically, Flash is friends with Gwen and Harry and they all hate Peter and Gwen starts NOT hating Peter and then Harry starts not hating Peter so Flash might as well not hate him either.

Also, Peter is kind of hot now which helps everyone adjust.

Go get friendly with him, Flash.

It’s just hard to buy Flash as being into girls when he likes men SO much. Like in Spider-Man: Blue when Gwen and MJ are dancing and probably making out and Harry, like most people who are attracted to women, thinks that’s neato, but Flash waits for his husband to return from war.

Flash goes off to the army pretty quick. Harry and Peter watch Flash make out with their girlfriends because he is nonthreatening and handsome.

When Flash comes back from the army, he is even more handsome, but he tells Gwen that he’s super into her and Gwen is like “if you loved me you’d be nice to my sexy boyfriend Peter” and Flash is like “okay” so Flash starts being nice to Peter. Real nice. It gets weird. Did a threesome happen? I don’t know. But Peter is definitely getting hot and Flash is definitely noticing.

Gwen dies. Everyone is sad, me most of all. But Flash feels the need to clarify some stuff to Peter.

They graduate, Flash and Peter move in together, two bros chillin in a hot tub, five feet apart ‘cause they’re not gay.

Peter moves out and Flash thinks Glory Grant is hot but the relationship never goes anywhere because Flash is gay and Marvel comics is racist, but then Flash moves in with Harry. Flash was LONELY, you see.

And then Flash is getting up the courage to confess his undying love to Harry when none other than Liz Allan swoops in and snatches him right from under his nose.

But it’s gonna be okay because then Flash and Peter accidentally start dating!

It might not be an accident for Flash.

In his defense, Peter really can’t just say things like that.

Also this happens. I do not generally find CPR romantic but, like, what were they going for here? The shirtlessness. The rain. The close up on the mouth to mouth. This sure was some way to frame life-saving efforts between two manly men.

So while this is all going on, Flash’s love life is getting . . . messy. I generally try not to think about it too much because it’s SO messy. Flash saves multiple young women from cults. He dates Sha Shan, cheats on her with Betty (who is in turn cheating on her vaguely abusive husband), and eventually hits Sha Shan. He is immediately horrified and runs away, Sha Shan moves out within one issue and it’s just . . . gone for decades. It went against years of character development and no one seemed to remember it happening. It might have been a way to get rid of Sha Shan (again, the racism), or a way to make you THINK Flash is Hobgoblin but surprise, it was the other abusive guy all along.

It’s really really poorly written, and a cheap plot point. Sha Shan deserved better.

Then you have the thing with Betty. It’s like, they’re cheating! they’re forbidden! they’re in love! but it . . . doesn’t go anywhere either. Betty and Flash remain friends and seem pretty happy about it, until JM DeMatteis, the brilliant mind behind Kraven’s Last Hunt, tells us all in the 90s that actually they had a horrible breakup and Betty hates him. Wild.

SO once that business no one wants to touch and everyone regrets has been pushed aside for some time, Flash starts dating again. He has a new girlfriend every week that he only seems to want to spend time with around, you guessed it, Peter Parker.

Here is an example. Flash is boxing and Blaze tries to literally have sex with him and he’s like “nah, hygiene” and then she comes onto Peter.

Indeed, Mary Jane.

Then we have FLASH/FELICIA. It’s so good. I love them. Felicia starts dating Flash as revenge against Peter. Flash really wants to double date with Peter. Felicia is at first super annoyed that Flash is so GENTLE, but she falls in love with him. She even asks him to marry her.

Flash says no.

Things Flash tells Felicia Hardy when he breaks up with her: “I wasn’t attracted by your looks” and “I thought it would be cool to be this close to someone who was that close to Spider-Man.”

These are things he tells her. They were really things he said.

While Flash is recuperating from his injuries, he starts freaking out that he and Peter aren’t actually friends (you were his best man, but you’ve never gone to a baseball game with him, so that makes sense I guess), and he starts talking about poetry. Poetry is a common way to queer code male characters. Take a look at Dead Poet’s Society or A Streetcar Named Desire.

But here’s the poem he mentions.

Make of that what you will.

Flash gets pretty depressed. Starts drinking more. He can’t make a romantic relationship stick. He’s dreaming about the glory days. This is around when the retcon of his abuse starts to pop up too.

And somewhere along the line, Peter Parker got hot.

But things do get better for him! He reconnects with his sister and goes to rehab. He and Betty reconnect because APPARENTLY they’ve been fighting and Flash is a scoundrel and there is no evidence but I guess I’ll take their word for it.

He also gets a job with Norman Osborn. Things get weird.

In The Child Within, Norman Osborn’s abuse of Harry is paralleled with an explicitly sexual physical abuse from a father towards a son. In Sins Past, The Night Gwen Stacy died will be retconned to make it so that the woman Norman Osborn murdered will have had his children. I don’t like going there, but there becomes a distinctly sexual way that Norman’s relationships with Peter’s friends is viewed.

Flash is reminding Norman about his AIDS charity.

Flash would stick with Norman night and day if he could.

Anyway.

Here’s a fantasy of Flash’s! He loves Spider-Man!

Even when he’s fantasizing about a woman, he’s actually fantasizing about a man!

Okay, I will admit I have not read every Flash appearance in 616. I’m doing this whole “in order” thing right now and I haven’t gotten to a lot of Flash/Betty stuff. Maybe it will change my mind. I doubt it, but I like to keep my options open.

Moving onto Venom. Flash has been dating Betty long-term at this point, but his secret life as a superhero is tearing them apart (she thinks he’s been drinking again). Also, he just sort of . . . self-sabotages all his relationships. Guy’s got issues.

Then we have Flash involved in an incidence of gay-bashing.

He didn’t fully understand what being gay meant. Been there, buddy.

Peter gives him the guy’s number and Flash has a chance to apologize and see two happy gay men living together.

I don’t know, okay, but a guy calls Captain America Flash’s boyfriend. It happens. It’s there.

VENOM: SPACE KNIGHT. Please read this beautiful series about overcoming the cycle of abuse and learning to love again. Things get really gay with the alien goo.

Also, Venom has like always been pretty heavily coded as being . . . some sort of sexual metaphor. David Micheline went there real hard. Eddie Brock pretty much married the symbiote, but only Flash has the guts to make him a guy.

Anything he desires. Anything at all. Whatever that might be.

Now for some Flash Thompson Looks:

Okay, let’s move onto alternate universes.

Here, we have Flash in the Secret Wars version of Spider-Island.

He loved Lizard Betty the best he could.

Avengers Academy!

Then there’s Ultimate Universe:

Love me some pen-sucking.

Not convinced? Well put this in your pipe and smoke it:

And, of course, The Amazing Spider-Man.

“Chicks dig him,” he said.

I dig him, he thought.

Was this even about Flash being gay or about me loving him deeply and endlessly? Who knows. Who cares. It’s all true.

Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk.

#marvel #flash thompson #comics #meta

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kamen-base · 6 years ago

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Goggle V is finally finished. I’d like to thank Quick and Dirty Subs for subbing all 50 episodes of Goggle V (though I couldn’t find the movie anywhere, raw or subbed) and krdl.moe for allowing me to download the episodes to this show (seriously, if you don’t want to torrent, krdl.moe is the best place to find all sorts of tokusatsu shows).

Anyways, to finish up, I’ll be listing what I thought was good, mediocre, and bad in this show before giving my rating. This will be long and have spoilers, just warning you all.

The first thing I list is the best thing, the last thing I list is the worst thing, it’s like a spectrum. (Mediocre is like my nitpicks with the show)

THE GOOD:

The Goggle V Team: The best part of the show, yet sadly even they weren’t that great. Though static, bland, and not developed throughout the show, I still found myself enjoying the characters at times, especially any Kanpei and Miki focused episodes, as they were badass whenever it was their focus episodes.

The First Half of the Show: To be completely honest, I enjoyed the first half of the show more than the second. Though there were good episodes throughout the 50 episodes, I found the characters smarter and they seemed to have more engagement with the Comboys than in the second half. I also found the villains smarter in the early side and liked the banter between Dr. Zazoriya and Dr. Iguana, as at least there was something going on with the villains. I also liked the episodes in the early side a lot more.

THE MEDIOCRE:

Not explaining why the Goggle V members were chosen: Ok, this is more of a nitpick than anything else, but why were they the people chosen for Goggle V. I mean sure, it’s explained that the Comboys were the ones choosing the candidates for Goggle V, but why were they even in the possible candidates for Goggle V? I mean seriously, why was a dancer, zookeeper, hockey player, and shogi player in the fucking databases rather than a boxer or soldier? I mean yes, Futoshi’s father was Hongo’s partner and Saburo was an “inventor” (more on that later), but what about Kanpei and Miki? Plus, favoritism should never be a reason why someone’s chosen to fight a war.

The Computer Boys and Girls: Despite being Goggle V’s biggest supporters in battle, they don’t really do much. I mean, while they’re just mainly there to cause some kid plots, they really don’t interact with Goggle V after the first 10 episodes and do pretty much nothing other than work in the Future Science Laboratory. Not only that, why make them children? Sure the show gives some bs explanation of “they represent a future without dark science” but I bet Hongo was sure regretting that when Deathdark invaded the Laboratory in the finale and the Comboys could do nothing but watch instead of fighting back if they were adults.

Some Unexplained Things/Weapons: What’s with all the unexplained weapons Goggle V gains? I mean, we got a random mirror Miki uses, two lightsabers Kenichi and Kanpei inexplicable have, and Deathdark completely forgetting where Goggle V’s base was, despite appearing at the amusement park Goggle V’s base was under in the second episode, or not remembering a Comboy. There are others, but they usually pertain to that certain episode. For example, Saburo being an inventor, which was never mentioned before or after episode 38.

The Fight Scenes: While the fight scenes had some really, and I mean really interesting camera work in the second half of the show, the slow motion used during the first half felt really excessive. Not to mention there was a lot of stock footage used during the fights in the first half of the show.

Dropping the Amusement Park Base: It was an interesting place for a team base, which sadly was dropped after the first 5~ episodes and only came up sparingly in the last 10~ episodes. It just irked me that they didn’t use it much, but it could be because the costs for filming there was too high.

The Mecha Battles: While not bad, they all got real old fast. Nothing really interesting happened during the fights, it was just punch, special attacks, finisher, end. Adding on that Miki and Kanpei could only sit and watch in Goggle Caesar made me really irritated at times.

Sayuri, Midori, Bella, and Beth: Four words: These characters did NOTHING. They were all introduced, then did nothing. Hell, Sayuri leaves in episode 22, and nothing changes. Midori does nothing throughout the show, neither does Bella and Beth. All these characters felt like wasted potential and just take up space and screen time. I could remove every character from the show, and nothing, and I mean nothing, would change.

THE BAD:

The Neo-Metal Upgrades: This upgrade provided no changes in the show. Seriously, if you skipped it, you would miss almost nothing, other than the fact Goggle V has a new finisher and the next episode has Deathdark attempting to counter Goggle V’s new finisher, which is dropped pretty much immediately in that episode. Seriously, the fact that the Mozu’s aren’t even mentioned to have Neo-Metal inside of them and the reason Goggle V succeeded in upgrading their weapons was due to someone else literally handing them it is just bad. Adding on that Goggle V was acting pretty fucking OOC during that episode, at least to me, makes that entire plot seem really bad.

Professor Hideki Hongo: Worst. Sentai. Mentor. EVER. Does he even qualify as a Sentai Mentor? Well, the wiki says he does, so I guess I can too. His reasoning for leaving is also absolute bullshit since he should’ve helped Goggle V instead of leaving them and telling them “LEARN TO BECOME INDEPENDENT”. Adding onto the fact he comes back in the final two episodes for the sole purpose of providing a base for Goggle V and he provides no advice and doesn’t help the rangers develop at all is bad.

Lack of any Backstory/Development for Goggle V: Even though to me, the Goggle V team is the best part of the show, I can still criticize the lack of development/backstory the team has. Seriously, the person I think that has the most character is Kanpei, and his two traits are being badass and smart. Everyone else just feels stock. Kenichi is the determined one, Saburo is the chill one, Futoshi is the funny one, and Miki is the girl, but badass. Not only that, we have no backstory on any of the members of Goggle V. Why in the world did Saburo become a hockey player, or Futoshi a geologist to zookeeper? Why did Miki become a dancer? Never explained. If they gave backstories to these characters, they could’ve made them more interesting, but they didn’t. Adding to the fact that Futoshi’s father never was important to the story after his episode was just awful, but more on that in the next section.

Wasted Potential: This show had some really interesting concepts when it started out, but just dropped them immediately. All of Goggle V’s jewels were connected to ancient civilizations, but after the first episode, they did nothing with them? Why not make the show history-themed as well, learning about the past to help the future? Also, remember when Grand Marshall Desmark needed to absorb life-essence to get stronger. That was dropped right after his introductory episode. Also, Futoshi’s father could’ve played a huge role in Futoshi’s character, but it never went anywhere. My vision is to have Futoshi start off as an asshole who hates people chasing after material things, due to his father leaving him for gold and causing some emotional problems for Futoshi. However, after an arc, Futoshi finally realizes the truth to his father’s absence, as he left to protect his family from Deathdark, and gains even more resolve to protect the world from Deathdark so that no one had to go through what he had to go through. I mean, the show did show Futoshi as nice towards children, and somewhat of a father-figure towards them, which I guess can be an effect from Futoshi’s father leaving him, but since it’s never stated outright, it still pisses me off.

The Finale Arc: This arc felt really rushed. We constantly jumped from one scene to the next without ever having the time to have the scenes impact the viewers Like, here’s an example. Goggle V is defeated, then five seconds later we change scenes to Deathdark attacking. Ten seconds later, Goggle V is revealed to be alive. See what I mean? Also, the fact that Goggle V inexplicable have a tracker for the Dark Hole Device, Grand Marshall Desmark somehow knowing about the existence of the Hightron Energy and the fact he admits to not knowing the effects of the energy to knowing the effects of the energy on a human body in two episodes just makes the entire arc feel messy and contrived. Speaking of feeling contrived, Deathgiller, for no reason, enters Goggle V’s base just so he could tell Mazurka she has a bomb inside her instead of detonating the bomb within her far away from the base. Even more things that irk me is: Deathgiller helping Goggle V during the arc is immediately forgotten by everyone as if he was always a villain. The base is destroyed, Goggle V attempt to rebuild but then the rebuilt base is destroyed, only for Hongo to lead them to a new base which is targeted by Deathdark not even 3 minutes after it was introduced. Grand Marshall Desmark’s defeat is lame and stupid, what the hell happened to the power of the Mozu’s powered up by the Hightron Energy, as despite all three Mozu’s being powered up by it, only the first one was shown to be a threat. There are probably more if I think longer, but in summary, this arc felt lazy, contrived, messy, and rushed.

The Villains: By far the weakest villains I’ve seen in a Sentai yet. All of them have a really bland personality and we get little to no backstory for all of them. While at first, they seemed competent, they started to do dumber stuff by the end of the show. General Deathgiller was the most interesting of the group because he was the only one that actually did shit. Mazurka felt completely unnecessary, Grand Marshall Desmark had an interesting subplot that was dropped almost immediately and did nothing despite being Deathdark’s greatest scientist. Bella and Beth could’ve been cut out from the show and nothing would’ve been lost. Dr. Zazoriya and Dr. Iguana were useless, but I liked their rivalry, as it was the only interesting thing the villains had. And do not get me started on Führer Taboo, as he acted more like a child than anything else, always taking things with a child-like demeanor. And guess what? He also did nothing until the finale. Seriously, besides Führer Taboo, were any of them human? How did they form? How did the members of Deathdark join? If the show answered any of these questions, it would at least make the villains more interesting, but unfortunately, the show did not at all.

Overall, I’d give Goggle V a 2/10. While it didn’t anger me like Zyuranger, it was boring to watch, except for the Kanpei/Miki episodes, and the wasted potential and villains made it really hard to continue watching. Not helped with that god awful finale arc and the boring side characters. However, the first 10~ episodes, the characters, and certain episodes in the rest of the show are the only reason why this show isn’t a 1 for me.

My favorite episode would have to be any of the Kanpei ones, like episodes 29 and 42 as they just show how badass and cool he can be.

My least favorite episode has to be episode 44, as everything just felt watered down. Futoshi betraying the team is played somewhat for laughs, Kenichi’s reaction to his betrayal felt weak and Futoshi’s turn back to good felt weak as well.

Current Sentai Rankings:

Jetman

Liveman

Maskman

Battle Fever J (I need to rewatch everything from 1-4 as it’s been awhile)

Zyuranger

Goggle V

If you’d like to talk to me or want to know more about why I dislike this series, feel free to message me, but other than that, I will now begin to watch the very first Super Sentai. Himitsu Sentai Goranger.

#super sentai #dai sentai goggle v #Liveblogging Goggle V #review

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alo-piss-trancy · 6 years ago

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ohmygod you’re like the only piss blog I’ve seen that likes dangan/ronpa skskskkssksks this makes me so fuckin happy hhhhh could you possibly do headcanons for some of the dr1 cast? id prefer all of them - but if you want to choose your favourites that’s fine 💗💗 i fuckin love u and ur blog already daawwww

Ahh thank you, I’m glad you like my blog! 💛 And yeah there isn’t much omo for DR which surprised me! I’ll do most of them, sparing a few I don’t know well (Leon, Sayaka, that spoilery girl from the beginning) or didn’t like (Hifumi and fortune guy)! :

Naegi: I’m not a huge fan of bedwetting, but I agree he definitely would in times of stress. Also he has a kinda weak bladder in general. Soda and stuff goes right through him. For the most part he can manage during trials (even if he tends to rush off as soon as the execution is over), but investigations run even longer so he usually ends up having to take breaks (to the possible annoyance of anyone he’s sleuthing with). When he’s desperate he thinks he’s subtle but absolutely isn’t, constantly squirming and bouncing/rocking on his heels, shoves his hands in his hoodie pocket like he isn’t actually grabbing his crotch, tends to whimper and groan under his breath. Often tries to hold longer around composed/strong ppl like Kirigiri, Byakuya, Sakura and Mondo, but often with embarrassing results. Not too shy to speak up around friends or more casual people if nothing’s going on, but the often serious situations they find themselves in make it more difficult (darting off to pee right after you find out a friend died is both in poor taste AND suspicious). Probably doesn’t have a piss kink. Willing to go in odd places if necessary.

Celeste: Ever poised, she’s the type who wouldn’t want to say anything and just holds it until she can slip away to maintain her dignity. For the most part she knows her limits and doesn’t get desperate often, but during times when she’s heavily invested in a task or just really doesn’t want to leave, she may overestimate her abilities, since she’s convinced she can ‘simply adapt’ to the increased pressure and ignore it until a more convenient time. Since she has a great poker face she usually manages to avoid letting on that anything’s wrong even if she’s absolutely dying, but once she gets close to or actually is wetting herself, the act falls apart and she gets really panicked and flustered. Around ppl that annoy her (like Hifumi or Byakuya) though, her temper will flare instead and she’ll lash out, converting all of her embarrassment into rage at them for somehow causing/witnessing the event (even if they had nothing to do with it). She’s extremely embarrassed when wetting herself (and also disgusted), but will try her best to play it off afterwards like it isn’t a big deal (again, with a speech about adapting and going with the flow), but her voice is noticeably shaky and she probably cries as soon as she’s alone. Would rather die/wet herself than go in odd places.

Also I kinda like the idea of her teasing other ppl when they’re desperate if they’re alone together (maybe a slight omo kink, or just bc she likes controlling ppl). Preferably Byakuya or Kirigiri (idk why those are just my two fav pairings for casual fun times with her).

Kirigiri: Always composed, aims to stay that way. Usually slips off without a word because it’s private business anyways. If asked when it isn’t a big deal, she’s fine with saying where she’s headed, but once she gets desperate enough she’ll feel self-conscious of ppl knowing how bad it is and makes up a lie instead. If a restroom isn’t available or it’s a serious situation, she would rather die than breathe a word, and will do her absolute best to avoid giving off any signs of her issue until she’s literally on the verge of wetting herself. Might work up the trust to tell Naegi if they’re close enough by that point, maybe Celeste, Sakura or Aoi if Naegi isn’t around and she knows it’s Ask For Help or Wet Yourself, but she’s just as likely to stay quiet if her proper nature gets the best of her. Refuses to hold herself under any circumstances, tends to just use her legs to help stave off the urge. Due to her resourceful nature, she will consider using odd things/places as a last resort, although she also has a chance of freezing up when attempting to actually go, since she’s nervous and isn’t used to it (personally, I LIVE for the idea of Naegi helping her with this and trying to relax her while she’s like, actually whimpering and showing vulnerability for the 1st time).

Might have a piss kink bc I do like the idea of her being attracted to something that’s the opposite of what she is (messy, juvenile, vulnerable). Also consider her genuinely wanting to help Naegi when he’s desperate but at the same time she’s really tuned on and praying it doesn’t show.

Chihiro: So shy oof, will never breathe a word and is really good at not giving any signs until he’s suddenly pissing himself. Would definitely cry and be mortified, needs lots of comfort afterwards (luckily p much everyone gives it to him). Practiced at holding for LONG stretches of time thanks to his secret making things inconvenient, and also because programming takes a ton of time in single sittings and he doesn’t want to get up and wreck his train of thought. I think he actually would be the type who has a huge closet kink, gets turned on by desperation and holds, fantasizes about wetting in public a lot, but would actually die and hate if it happened for real.

Mondo: Bladder of steel actually, takes great pride in this. He’ll often tease others for being weaker. When he does get desperate, he won’t whine pathetically or hold himself, but he will get snippy and make a few complaints about it. Has no qualms about pissing outside or in anything else, even if there are people around. If he did wet himself, it would be a blow to his pride, but he’d eventually get over it (it helps that ppl are too afraid to tease him unless they want a beating). I could see him having a piss kink for both sides, and also being into 'marking’ his lover.

Taka: Will ask as soon as he needs to go bc there’s no point putting it off, but if someone tells him no then that’s it. The answer is no and he’ll hold it without protest until he’s literally leaking, then maybe he’ll work up the nerve to choke out a plea. If denied again he’ll hold on as long as physically possible, only to finally lose control and be mortified. Thinks he’s good at hiding desperation but is even more obvious than Naegi. Has a decent enough bladder capacity, but once he has to go, he has to GO. Like right then. He can’t stand bothering ppl or being disrespectful, so he would refuse to use anything but a toilet (maybe he’d go outside if there was enough cover and he was coaxed into it). No piss kink at all, would be baffled by the concept.

Sakura: Bladder of Steel (stronger than Mondo). Shows no real sign of desperation, even up to the end. When it gets bad she’ll start sweating though, and her posture is even stiffer than usual. Is actually pretty shy about bringing up her need (both bc of how strong she’s supposed to be and just bc she’s bashful), but she will if she knows she’s at risk of wetting herself. More likely to tell Aoi than anyone else, or maybe Naegi. Will never hold herself bc tbh those thighs can already crush together enough to hold it. Might go outside or in odd places if no one is around and she absolutely can’t wait, altho she is embarrassed af (and it’s kinda hard to hide when you’re that big o o f). Has no piss kink and is actually a bit disdainful of it, altho she would never shame a partner if they confessed. Might do it once in a while for them if asked.

Aoi: Will be the first to tell you the blue pool dye thing is just an urban legend. She’s the girl who whines for all of her friends to come with her when she has to pee, makes a lot of jokes the whole time. Not super weak bc she has to hold it on jogs and stuff, but she tends to drink a lot and doesn’t really like to hold past a certain point. Not shy at all about mentioning her need unless it’s a very grim situation, and if prevented from going she will dance around a bit, cross her legs, maybe a quick crotch grab, while still whining the whole time bc it helps distract her. Will use anything and go anywhere if it’s bad enough, too chill to care as long as ppl promise to keep their backs turned. Might have a mild omo kink.

Byakuya: Doesn’t go out of his way to admit his need, but will walk off and say so if it’s a fairly casual situation. Has a harder time hiding it than Kirigiri and Celeste despite also being uptight, bc his temper flares up and he gets extra snippy if he has to go, which usually clues ppl in. Also he taps his foot/jiggles his leg CONSTANTLY. Wouldn’t touch his crotch unless he was literally wetting himself, but will cross his legs/bend at the waist. Refuses to go anywhere but a proper restroom. Wetting himself is humiliating and he would brush off any comfort and storm off to be by himself. Probably takes his anger out on Touko. Has zero piss kink to speak of, will spit on you if you suggest it.

Touko Fukawa: Can’t stand ppl knowing she has to go, would probably kill over if anyone mentioned it. She fidgets a lot when desperate, but ppl actually don’t notice bc she already acts pretty weird and fidgety and is so closed off anyways. Wouldn’t dare leave if she was supposed to be with a group of ppl, but the second she’s alone she’s making a dash for it. She’s used to holding for a pretty long time (too anxious to leave during class, long writing sessions at home, etc.), and even then if she’s determined enough to avoid embarrassing herself, she can hold longer. Probably the only one who can (and does) let out tiny leaks in order to hold longer, and has exceptional control. During moments of terror though, she fear wets, which mortifies her. Does not have a kink in the slightest, it grosses her out.

Genocider Sho: Urine doesn’t bother her at all, which is good since sometimes she wakes up only to find Touko pissed herself. Has the same capacity, but is much more outspoken when she needs to go. Complains a lot, exaggerates her body language and cracks jokes, might get cranky if it’s inconvenient for her. However, she doesn’t care if she loses control, and might do it on purpose just to piss somebody off. She has a HUGE piss kink. Be it herself as the victim for her own pleasure, or her getting to dom somebody else and force them to hold (BYAKUYA). She’s also a big slut for watersports. Sometimes she does this to have fun and get filthy, then makes herself sneeze and switch afterwards just for the sake of fucking with Touko.

Junko: Absolutely has a piss kink, loves to tie ppl up and watch them squirm and blush until they soak themselves. When she has to go she’s very vocal, bouncing around and groaning, whining, playing it up and holding herself to put on a show. Would be fine to go anywhere tbh, but pretends she only accepts proper bathrooms so that she has an excuse to hold it longer. Doesn’t care if she wets, but insists she gets cleaned up and in new clothes right away bc she also cares about looking pretty.

#bear gets a letter #omorashi #omocute #fandomo #fictomo #dromo

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