#also the vitamin d . save me
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went swimming for two and a half hours and i’m already a little tan it’s crazy how my skin absorbs the sun so fast
#r#i don’t really burn ever but knock on wood#i don’t think i’m burnt anywhere………………..#i’m hoping swimming this summer helps with my joints and muscles#also the vitamin d . save me
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i have always been and will always be utterly fucking insane. help
#she bork#tbd#i am so so so so anxious and idk why!!!!! we found a house just need to get two of our roommates subleased from their apartments so it's not#the house hunt and i've stopped worrying about grad school as well since there's no use worrying about all the ifs and pros and cons when#idek if i'll get accepted in the first place so i don't think it's that either. idk i'm just like off the chain like i was putting up ad at#work literally thee MOST low-pressure activity imaginable and i was like about to have a panic attack like why!!!!!! i've had like three#cups of green tea which is caffeinated but not heavily so like probably the equivalent of two cups of coffee so it shouldn't be affecting me#like this. work is also stressful rn bc we keep rolling freight due to call ins so maybe that? i have no idea i just know i want to throw up#lmfao. idk maybe i'm not getting enough vitamin d bc i'm already deficient and daylight savings time has reeeeaaally cut down on my sun#exposure not to mention the weather has been super cloudy so maybe it's that. or maybe the idea of so much change at once is scaring me even#though it seems like it's all gonna work out and ik that it will bc it always does but change is just scary. so maybe that. regardless i#wish i would just fucking calm down i'm miserable
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dating hanta sero - a moodboard
sero strikes me as someone who's main love language is physical touch, or acts of service. he has a naturally funny personality, so he would do anything to see you smile or laugh. every morning when he's still half asleep, he clings onto you like a koala and utters the funniest nonsense. as for his acts of service counterpart, he does things for you subconsciously. he saved you some of his food? he knew you'd try to steal some. a carton of milk on your desk? wants to make sure you get your vitamin d. he opens doors for you all the time? he doesn't mind doing these things, he actually enjoys them. as long as you have less on your plate. he's also known as the 'spider-man' of ua since he swings around on his tape. there was this one time he was trying to latch on to the doorframe, but he missed and hit aizawa's face(rip sero). but as someone who has to be very fast with his quirk, i can see endurance training dates at the gym. he mostly focuses on back and arm day, as he uses them the most. sero isn't big on affection like hugs, cuddles, etc. he's someone who usually has a hand on you; on your back, around your waist, on your leg, as long as he has a finger on you. maybe you'll actually let him tape you guys together.
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(character does not belong to me, rightfully belongs to kohei horikoshi. pictures do not belong to me, rightfully belongs to op on pinterest. apologies if character is ooc.)
#sero x reader#hanta sero x reader#sero hanta x reader#hanta sero#sero hanta#hanta sero moodboard#sero moodboard#sero hanta moodboard#boku no hero academia#my hero academia#miruac#sero headcanons#sero hanta headcanons#hanta sero headcanons
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Ok I need you to hear me out! What about dazai, Fyodor and or Nikolai with a s/o that is the psychologist/therapist for their respective organisation! Is reader aware that they are way beyond redemption? Yes, does reader know that they can't fix them? Also yes, but as their s/o they try their best to save the little sanity they have left by reminding them to take their pills/vitamins, having casual therapy sessions with them and comforting them after (btw I don't think any of them would go to therapy on their own so reader being the therapist of the organisation they are in would make more sense for them to communicate and eventually form a relationship, plus I think a emotionally intelligent reader would really balance them out)
Have a wonderful day or night and don't forget to hydrate!!!!
omg nonnie, this is very interesting! I tried my best to imagine these three going to therapy… sort of.
please remember to hydrate yourself too<33
Therapist s/o!
✧ contents. sfw!!
I'm kind of sure that a psychologist (and I think a therapist too) is not allowed to have a personal relationship with their patient, so I'd like to think that their relationship with their s/o is a secret, at least inside the organization.
Dazai will come to visit you every day even if it's not necessarily for a therapy session.
He only goes to the Agency to see you— I imagine you have a small office inside the building of the Agency, so whenever Dazai is bored, he leaves the Agency's office and goes downstairs to visit you!
For him, it's a good thing that his s/o is also his therapist because he won't open up with anyone else but you. He would ask for you to run your fingers through his fluffy hair as he tells you how his past memories are still tormenting him sometimes.
Since you're a professional and know so much about people's minds, your conversations are always very deep which he's thankful for; knowing that someone understands him and gives him the comfort that he needs badly.
Dazai doesn't need any type of medication I think. Maybe he'll need to sleep better and eat properly but as long as you sleep with him and remind him to take his meals, he'll do as you said<3
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I believe Fyodor doesn't want therapy, or pills, even if he needs them.
You know his physical and mental health are not the best, and he knows it too, but he doesn't care about it that much.
Maybe the roles would turn upside down? He would ask why you have such opinions and would discuss a lot of philosophical stuff about human beings and their lives and the way they socialize with other humans.
Fyodor would be the stubborn type; like, you would tell him to go out for a walk and get some fresh air because he's lacking vitamin D but he only chuckles and says that he doesn't need to, that he's perfectly fine.
A few hours later he would go out for a walk as you said and left a small bouquet of flowers he collected himself on your desk.
Also, he comes to ask for your opinion on important things before doing them!
-
Nikolai wouldn't take things seriously most of the time. He needs to make silly jokes and tease you as you try to advise him for his own good.
He would gladly take any pills you give him but you need to sit on his lap and give him the pill yourself, then kiss his forehead and call him a good boy. If not, he would refuse the medication.
Sometimes he feels very very down, like; he enters your office with a somber expression and needs to be cuddled as you try to help him solve his problem.
You make him feel happy even if it's just with a kiss on the cheek or words of affirmation<3
Definitely surprises you and teleports behind you as you're doing paperwork.
About his “freedom” thing… As much as you'd like to tell him that it's (almost) impossible, he won't stop trying to reach his goal and will keep on telling you with a big smile how he plans to achieve it. Well… At least he's still your Nikolai for now.
2024 © pinklacydovey
#bsd x reader#bsd dazai#bsd#dazai osamu#bungou stray dogs#bungou stray dogs x reader#dazai osamu x reader#nikolai gogol x reader#nikolai x you#bsd nikolai#fyodor x reader#bsd fyodor#fyodor x you#dazai osamu x you#nikolai.zip#fyodor.zip#dazai.zip#nonnies♡#requests.ᐟ#ᯓ★ messages from the stars ✧˖°.
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Do You Need Some Vitamin D? (Part 2) (Incubus!Afton x Oblivious!Reader)
~Hello all! I'm back again...for a bit anyway, just been busy with life and stuff. Hope you are all doing well, I figured you could probably do with something to prove I am actually alive~
@ruh--roh-raggy xp-doggy redbunny03
CW: 18+ MINORS DNI. Fluff, age gap (Reader 20's - William Afton 40's(?)), teratophilia, meet-cute, punny pick-up lines, scenes of working out, minor porn-logic, ditzy! reader, could be classed as bimbo! reader?, size-difference, flirting, monster-lover, sexual innuendos, Monster! AU
Heading to work on the next Monday was certainly uneventful after the interesting text you had received from your boss over the weekend. Somehow, that photo hadn't been saved to your phone, but you definitely didn't keep scrolling back to look at it, admiring the little details about how his strong arms looked in the low light, how tight the shirt seemed across his broad chest. But you thought you had gotten over those thought by the time your shift rolled around.
Until William Afton walked in in that damn shirt.
"Okay, now you're staring." Your co-worker made you jump as they snuck up behind you. Seeing the familiar face of Claire behind you and making you blush and scowl, shaking your head as you turned back to look at Mr. Afton, before realising that he has already gone to the office with a surprising pang of disappointment.
"I'm not staring!"
"You totally were...Was he wearing a new shirt today? I'm not sure I've ever seen him in colour." Claire raised an eyebrow, and you tried to shrug nonchalantly.
"I wouldn't be able to tell you." Claire's eyebrows went higher on her face as she put her hands on her hips, giving you a slightly tilted head look that you knew meant she saw right through you.
"Right...And you definitely aren't blushing right now!" She thought for a moment before her eyes widened, giddily gripping onto you and smirking as you looked slightly confused by her sudden enthusiasm. "You have a crush on Mr. Afton!"
"No!"
"Yes! Oh. Em. Gee! You have a crush on our boss!"
"Faz-fuck off with that! Do you want me to get in trouble? And I don't have a crush, he's just...nice." Your cheeks heating up as you avoided her gaze, but your colleuge simply tutted and wrapped her arm around your shoulder, holding you tight to one side.
"Wow, never pinned you for the type to go for older guys...Why don't you ask him out to the Valentine's Dance?" She teased, earning a sharp jab in the ribs from your elbow and a playful pout from her.
"I'm NOT going to ask our BOSS to the Valentine's party." Earning an eyeroll from Claire as she crossed her arms and raised an eyebrow again. You were sure if she kept doing that, she would be stuck in a permanently surprised expression.
Claire simply shook her head, throwing her hands up in the air as she chuckled slightly, turning to go and walk off to the main floor and direct you towards the prize counter. Looking over her shoulder and smiling wickedly as she shrugged.
"You know, I'm going to ask that DILF out for you if you keep this up. You're going to ask him."
"What the faz-fuck is a DILF Claire?" You asked, staring after her with a mildly confused expression. "Claire?"
Monday's were never busy at Freddy's, so you never had to really worry about keeping ontop of all the niggly little jobs that made you want to curl up and cry; like untangling the slinkies because a kid just have to have that specific one, or a parent complaining that the claw machine hadn't payed out despite their kid 'winning' and having to crawl around for the one specific plushie that you knew they hadn't won but you had to retrieve anyway.
The prize counter was however, mercifully quiet on Mondays, and it also gave you a good vantage point of the employee's only door, where you could see everybody coming and going, including Mr. William Afton.
It was weird, how you noticed him a little more as he stepped out onto the floor today. How that purple shirt was still a little bigger on his frame than the broad man should really be wearing, even though you swore the photo on your phone showed him filling it out, the colour complimented him though. His greying hair swept back out of his face, that greying beard that you found yourself wondering how it would feel if he brushed his cheek against yours... Shaking your head, you quickly snapped out of it, it wasn't appropriate to think that way about him, he was your boss after all.
He however, was thinking similarly about you. Not that you would ever know it aside from the slight smile that curled his lip whenever he looked in your direction. William's heart pounded slightly in his chest as he slowly made his way over to the prize counter, making sure to stop and greet staff and reprimand them if needs be, saying hello to customers. It was all torturous to him as all he wanted was to see you, take his mind off of paperwork for a while and enjoy the soft vanillaish smell you always seemed to have. It was that or cocoa butter, he couldn't decide, but you smelt like candy to him, and it made his mouth water in more ways than one.
You glanced up as a shadow fell across your back, placing out some new prizes with the ticket price stuck on gently with tape. Turning to give your usual greeting before finding yourself looking at a broad chest, eyes wandering up as your cheeks heated and your eyes met intense silver behind gold framed aviators.
"Mr Afton! Nice of you to pop over to see me." William blinked for a second before chuckling, rubbing the back of his neck sheepishly and giving you that lopsided smile that made him look quite charming.
"Well, I thought I would come see what prizes are up for grabs...I have a few spare tickets from me getting bored." You smiled back at the thought of him playing the same arcade games and silly games as the kids, such an imposing man being a kid at heart. Watching him stuff one large hand into his pocket as he spoke to you.
"That's great! What can I get you, sir?" Watching his eyes scanning the thick, freshly cleaned glass at all the prizes before his eyes caught something, his smile widening as he reached over the counter and gently pulled a ticket from your vest, your own heart racing in your chest as his thick fingers brushed against your ribs ever so slightly and your eyes naturally followed his hand as he flipped the ticket over to show you.
"Two-hundred tickets for a sweet like you? I'd gladly give triple for this prize." You giggled and shook your head, hair bouncing softly around your face as you touched the back of your own neck. It was silly, he almost sounded like he was flirting with you, but you chalked it up to your silly thoughts about the older man recently.
"I'm afraid I don't think you can own a human, sir, and thanks for picking that off, it must have gotten stuck there earlier." Laughing it off as William paused then chuckled, his smile tightening just a fraction.
"Right...No of course I can't own you. Six hundred Faz-Tokens seems like a measly compensation for a life anyway." He was confused by you again, and it made him all the more intrigued. He thought the flirting was obvious this time, he even called you a prize, asked to own you, implied he wanted to take you home. Yet there you were, barely reacting like it was nothing. The fingers in his pocket laced around a few cherry candies in his pocket, pulling them out and unwrapping one, popping it between his teeth and offering you the other. "What prize would you get, if tickets were no problem?"
Looking at the prizes, you hummed as you considered it, taking the candy with a quiet thanks and placing it in your vest pocket, not wanting to indulge in front of your boss. After a few moments however, your eyes landed on a toy-bonnie plushie and you smiled, pointing it out in the case.
"Spring-Bonnie, he's always been my favourite." William's relaxed smile returned, and he gestured for you to take it out. Counting out the eight hundred Faz-Tokens on the counter, he pushed them towards you and then pushed the plushie back against your chest as you offered it to him, leaving you a little confused yourself.
"Well, I hope he's going to a good home then."
"Sir?"
"He's yours, doll, keep him. As a token of my gratitude for putting up with such a silly old man." Rubbing the back of his neck, you shook your head after a moment, carefully cradling the plushie to your chest as your cheeks heated up once more. Maybe you were developing a cold, or coming down with something..Maybe Claire had been right about you starting to develop a crush on your boss.
"You're not a silly old man, Mr. Afton, I find you quite funny, and you always brighten my day." It was William's turn to blush as he looked down at you, giving that warmest smile that made his eyes crinkle slightly at the corners. You could have sworn you heard the sound of his foot tapping repeatedly against the plush carpet, watching him rock back and forth onto his heels a few times.
"That means a lot to hear, bunny. Enjoy your new friend." With that, he walked off, leaving you clutching onto the yellow velveteen rabbit with the purple bow-tie carefully. Smiling happily to yourself as you thought how you perhaps wished just a little bit that he was really flirting with you.
When you got home that night, you debated for a long time how you could thank William Afton properly for his kind gift. And for the candy too. You carefully sucked on the hard sweet, savouring the almost too sweet cherry flavour as you got changed into pyjamas and glanced over at the Spring-Bonnie plush on your dresser, deciding something for a moment before taking a deep breath.
"Fuck it." You said to the plushie, picking it up and stroking the soft ears as you placed it down on your bedspread, setting it up carefully so that it was nice and presentable before whipping our your phone and snapping a picture. Pausing over your keyboard, trying to think of something subtle and funny to put before sending it to your most recent contact.
William's phone buzzed as he hunched over the bench in his workshop, his thick fingers moving the animatronic parts before him with a practised precision. Shirt changed out for a more comfortable t-shirt and feeling his foot tapping against the floor in no particular rhythm. Lit cigarette burning in the ashtray besides him as one large hand reached out to pick it up and take a drag whilst the other grabbed his phone. Clicking open the message without a thought as he was sure it was from Henry, trying to talk to him about 'his outdated methods'.
His heart practically stopped however, when he saw the picture that had been sent through.
From what little he could see, the bed was a single, the sheets neatly made up and white, able to just make out some form of pattern across the duvet cover. The walls were beige, which surprised him as he had always suspected that you weren't a beige wall person. But what really caught his attention, was the presence of a familiar Spring-Bonnie plush, front and centre to the bedding, tucked against the pillows in pride of place. His silver eyes wandered to the caption quickly as he wondered what you had to say. Had it been a mistake?
'I thought you would like to see that he's settled into his new home. Thanks for the candy by the way, I'm not usually a cherry person but I'm eating it now :)'
William's hand instinctually reached for his pocket, pulling out another candy and unwrapping it quickly and putting it in his mouth. Tobacco and cherry mixing together to create a unique sensation that made his brain light up happily, swearing softly under his breath that he was constantly running out of pocket candies since he had a bad habit of crunching them rather than savouring the taste. Thinking for a moment before he finally replied.
'He looks comfy, Although that bed looks rather uncomfortable for cuddling in.'
You blushed as William mentioned cuddling, but you tried to shake the thought out of your head as you tried to image those large, strong arms wrapped around you, holding you against his chest.
'Well, he's not oversized, so we should fit fine. He's nice and soft! Not like I've ever slept in a bigger bed anyway :p' Climbing into bed, you were tempted to send another picture, but knew that would be overstepping professional boundaries by a country mile. Unknowingly to you, William had the same thought and barely got to snuffing out his cigarette before he practically sprinted up the stairs, feeling his legs changing as he went, feet becoming more elongated and lapine to accomodate his bounding strides. Almost throwing off his slacks and diving into his bed like he hadn't been down in his basement just moments before. The perk of supernatural speed, he supposed.
The next message you received was a photo, another one that brought colour and heat to your cheeks and gave you the start of a fluttering feeling in your stomach as you looked at it. William Afton was in bed, his broad chest obscured by a thick pillow that he clutched tightly with one large hand, his chin rested ontop with a lazy, almost half-asleep smile on his face. Glasses pressed into one side of his nose as you thought it was rather cute and somehow kind of hot at the same time.
'Well, there's always plenty of room in mine if you want to try it for size. Goodnight, bunny, see you tomorrow.' William wondered if he went too far, but it felt right to invite you, to extend the offer and hope you realised just how badly he would rather replace the pillow with your smaller body against his, but he missed your reply, as he soon fell asleep clutching onto the pillow. Holding it and twitching in his sleep as his nose wriggled, dreaming that the person of his obsession was against him instead of an inanimate object.
'Goodnight Mr. Afton. It does look comfy there, but that could be what's in the bed, lol' You knew the older man would definitely not be flirting with you, you imagined him to be more of a flowers and a date kind of guy, rather than pick-up lines. Not that you were entirely sure why you kept having those thoughts about him at all, but as you curled up on your side, you knew that somehow, you had to flirt with the giant man.
#william afton#william afton x reader#steve raglan#springtrap#steve raglan x reader#fnaf movie#william afton x you#springtrap x reader#william afton smut#fnaf x reader#incubus!william afton#monster au#monster william afton#monster henry emily
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— BUTTERFLIES AND HURRICANES
SUMMARY : Colt takes you out for a ride…
PAIRING : colt seavers x fem!reader
CHARACTERS : none
WARNINGS/TAGS : explicit(18+), fluff, jokes and fun times, unprotected piv, fingering, handjob, maybe a kissing kink (idk if that's a thing)
WORD COUNT : 6.7k
A/N : title is a muse song. this is part of the @alphabetquest challenge — car sex! (heheh, I have a type) <333 the car has to be a 2022 ford shelby gt500 since it's the first image that popped up when I searched up Mustang in Canva, lmao. ALSO IM NOT DEAD YET AND THIS ISNT DEAN... I WAS SCARED TO WRITE ABOUT A NEW CHARACTER BUT I CANT STOP THINKING ABOUT RYAN GOSLING SO IDK WHY THIS IS LONG SORRY xx
All you could think of was Colt Seavers.
You felt embarrassed with the way he occupied your mind, but it was impossible for you not to fall fast and hard for him. He was funny and sweet and romantic and caring and genuine. He made you feel young and careless, but not in a way that would bite you in the ass once you returned to Earth.
You knew you could dive headfirst into him and his gorgeous blue eyes, and never be afraid that you've wasted your time.
To clear things up, you only felt embarrassed because you needed to get work done. Here you were, staring at the empty script that was waiting to be written, and all you could think of was Colt Seavers. You were embarrassed because, suddenly, all your stories, all your words, and all your characters contained an aspect of him.
Your relationship with Colt wasn't a secret, but the director was expecting certain specific details and plots from you. And he'd know Colt was the reason for the change in your writing, and everyone would know, and Colt would know.
And you weren't sure you were ready for that. Even if you were going steady with him, already shared intimate moments, and it was becoming the norm to wake up beside him. Even if he was effortlessly sweet, and perfect for creating a happily-ever-after with.
He was magical. Refreshing. Good.
He was like a crisp sunshine in the early morning, never scalding, never freezing. Perfect for catching some vitamin… D… No… don't do that, body.
You reached out for the cup of coffee beside your keyboard and lifted it up to your lips. You knew the caffeine wouldn't ease your overactive mind, but it would probably help you focus that energy on a specific task. You hoped very hard that it would be the case, and that you'd write something that make the director, and everyone else on set happy.
"Uh, you, whatever your name is, that's mine."
You stopped drinking and looked behind you, at Colt. He was trying to look serious. You resisted a smile as you licked some coffee from you lips. You looked back at the cup and rotated it to find his name written in black ink.
"I was just making sure it wasn't poisoned," you lied, allowing yourself to smile briefly. You turned around in your chair and held the cup out for him—your smile gone. "It's safe to drink."
"Oh, great," Colt beamed, and crossed the space to take the cup from you. "Wow, someone's boss thinks I'm special enough to save from poisoning."
You stared up at him as he took a few sips, and you admire him, his glowing skin and… beard… remniscing about what it felt like all over your body when he'd kiss you. He stared at you as he swallowed his final sip of the warm caffeine, and you knew he was waiting for you to say something, but you kind of have nothing to say now.
He's so adorable. And beautiful. And you should focus on writing, but the way he's staring down at you is making your heart race, and he bit his lip to hide his grin, and all you can think of… is how much you want him.
"Maybe I should learn the name of the beautiful, brave, and selfless woman who almost died for me, possibly," he started up again, dramatic and very much flirty now. He held out his hand, you took it, and shook it once. You were about to say your name, but he set the cup back down on the table.
You followed the movement, barley began looking back at him, wondering what he was up to, when he tugged you up out of your chair. You squealed as you crashed against his hard body and the smooth leather of his F1 suit. He released your hand to wrap his arms tightly around your waist, and hold you close to his chest.
You looked up and found him smiling already. Colt kicked your chair out of the way and walked you back into the desk, but he didn't lift you up on it. He just kept you trapped between his warm body and the edge of the table, which dug into the bottom of your ass.
"So… I can kiss you, right?" He wondered, staring down at your lips. He licked his own. "We're at that… you know, stage…? Where we do that?" The more he talked, the bigger you smiled, especially since you knew he was trying to actcasual.
"We've fucked before, like… twenty times, I'm not counting, but I'm pretty sure it's around that much," you rambled. You definitely wanted a kiss from him, but he always managed to make your face hot and your heart beat at an insane rhythm. You didn't even know what the point of your sentence was anymore, but it caught him off guard and distracted him.
"Fucked? That's a bit aggressive," he commented quietly, leaning closer. His hands squeezed your hips and you flattened your palms on his chest. Your breaths became heavy, as did his—quick and warm against your tingling lips. "I'd say it was more like making-"
"No, don't. I don't wanna hear it said that way."
"But it was…" he bit his lip and looked into your eyes. "…like… that…" He lifted his hand and brushed your hair away, his hand rested against your jawline and your cheeks heated up.
"Sometimes," you replied quietly, trying to maintain the playfulness. You shrugged. "There were those time where you bit me really hard and-"
He snorted.
"I'm gonna kiss you now," he warned and began to dip down. You held your breath, suddenly, almost virginally, the anticipation of his kiss made you shamefully needy. He stopped, almost touching your lips, teasing you, so you felt his breath tickle your lips.
Then, when you were at the apotheosis of hot, horny, and embarrassed, his lips pressed against yours. Your nerves and neurons exploded at his touch. The coarse hair of his beard and mustache tickled you, but that was what reminded you who you were kissing.
Colt's hand clenched in your hair and his arm tightened around your waist to pull you impossibly close. Your knees weakened when he traced your lips with his warm tongue. You clung to the leather covering his body, breathed shakily against his mouth, and he tilted his face to deepen the kiss.
His mouth met yours again, and his tongue was in your mouth this time. You tasted the sweetness of coffee in him and he tasted that sweetness in you. You felt lightheaded and your arousal skyrocketed, and you worsened it by sitting up on the desk and pulling his hips against yours. You moaned softly against his mouth at the contact, he groaned in response, and nibbled on your lip.
Colt gently pulled your hair and dragged his mouth down your neck, his teeth and tongue followed, all the way down to your clavicle. Your hands moved upwards into his hair, threading through to tug at as you panted for air. Your body felt sensitive and fiery against his mouth, and his body, and his hands.
He rolled his hips against yours, slid his hand down the back of your thigh to press precisely against your covered clit, all with his hand still tight in your hair.
"Colt!"
His name being shouted through the two-way radio ripped the veil of lust and contentment that kept you blind to reality. Colt grunted in irritation against your neck and brought his mouth back up to yours, ignoring the stunt coordinator.
"Where are you? We're starting in five minutes!" You gently pushed Colt's chest and smiled against his greedy mouth.
"We have five minutes," he mumbled against your lips. You laughed softly and kissed him firmly as a goodbye, but his warm and calloused hands sneaked beneath your pink blouse. You drew your mouth away from his, despite his complaints, and he licked his lips as he gazed down at you playfully.
His hand untangled from your hair, he cupped your cheek instead, and slowly began leaning forward, waiting for you to stop him.
"Colt," you whispered, placing your finger on his lips to stop him from diving back in. "You should go," you tried not to laugh. He wrapped his fingers around your wrist and leaned forward to kiss you deeply, then placed two soft kisses against your lips. "I'll see you later," you promised breathlessly.
His thumb brushed against your bottom lip, he his teeth sank into his own as if contemplating kissing you again. But he ended up conceding, "yeah, okay."
Colt udjusted his suit at the crotch area, then ran his fingers through his tousled hair. His natural hair was growing out so only the tips remained bleached from… being Tom Ryder's stuntman... You had a hard time believing his life story was anything but fiction, except there was plenty of evidence proving otherwise.
"Wait, where will I see you?" He stopped and leaned against the door.
"Here. I'll take you to- well, it's a surprise," you grinned playfully. "But it's a gift for me, mostly." You batted your lashes innocently at him. Colt shook his head and laughed, finally heading out.
"Wait, your coffee!"
You were touching up the script, deleting and rewriting lines of dialogue and adding a few important moments that needed to be acted out, all while smiling to yourself as you recalled the way Colt subtly flirted with you any chance he got while standing behind the director.
It was nice to steal a few moments with him when the opportunity presented itself. With Colt being who he is, he pretty much managed to make nearly every moment with you romantic to some extent. Sometimes it was seductive smiles with a hint of playfulness, long and innocent touches with undertones of sensuality. But maybe what you loved most was that he always managed to say something cute, romantic, sweet, funny, sexy, or dorky in a way that most definitely made you blush, somehow.
You weren't going to lie, you were a little excited for tonight. So excited, in fact, that you quickly stopped by the hotel you were staying at to shower and put on a burgundy sundress rather than the jeans and blouse you'd been wearing earlier.
There was a soft knock on your trailer and the door quietly opened, but Colt had already given himself away with a quiet hiss and an, "ouch."
You shut your laptop while you grinned, ready to laugh at him for whatever he'd clumsily done—since he didn't often do anything clumsy on purpose.
He must have gotten the same ideas as you, and gone back to his room to get cleaned up and put something clean on. And he had a small orange moon cactus in his hand; the other hand, he was inspecting carefully. He'd pricked himself.
When he looked up at you, he was as stunned as you were. He dropped his hand after blindly kicking the door shut behind him, and slowly dragged his eyes down your body before returning to your face.
"Wow, you look very pretty." Had the air not blown the scent of his cologne rushing to you, you would have been able to repsond with something as sweet and earnest as his compliment.
"So do you," you murmured, sounding dazed, unfortunately. Still, his cheeks turned bright and he laughed while holding the plant out for you to take. You took it from him carefully.
"I know you said you hated flowers because they reminded you of funerals and hospitalisation, so I got you a plant instead," Colt explained. You couldn't stop the laugh that bubbled out of you hearing that out loud, and coming from him, it was more funny.
He joined in and chuckled softly, seeming a little unsure.
"That's a pretty decent loophole," you sighed, and lifted the cactus so it was at eye-level. "It's cute." He shoved his hands into his jeans, stepped closer and looked down at it with you.
"I named it Shirley," he informed you.
"That's more adorable." Him, the fact that he named it, the name? All of it?
You stopped at the winding road that your friend had told you about. Had she not taken you and your two other friends to see the place, for a picnic date, you'd have never wanted to see Colt in your car, driving the way you've always dreamt of doing.
But here he was, well, he was in the passenger seat, but still. You were going to ask him to drive your car down to… nowhere in particular, just to live vicariously through him.
"What's here? A serial killer cabin?" He looked over at you, a smile playing on his lips. Your eyes skimmed over his gorgeous face, his beauty somehow enhanced with the glow of the vibrant sunset pouring over his face.
"I have a request," you started, watching him lean in close to you, listening intently for your words. He smelled so clean and soft and good—no, that's not the point. "Drive my car, you can stop whenever you want."
"That's… you want me to drive for any particular reason?" Colt looked down the empty road and then over at you, his blue eyes sparkled flirtatiously.
Your heart began to beat swiftly again and your face heated up. "You know… When I was a kid, I wanted to be a NASCAR driver, and writing about an F1 driver is just… you know, do this for me?"
"Really? You wanted to be a NASCAR driver?" He was on the verge of bursting out into laughter, but he also looked genuinely surprised at your confession, so you looked away and shrugged.
"To be fair, I wanted to be a palaeontologist, elementary teacher, and fashion designer, too. Those option would've been… more awesome than… this," you mumbled, looking at the road as the sun hid behind seemingly endless hills and trees.
"I think you're awesome right now," he whispered. You turned to him again, and became flustered by the softness on his gaze and his words. Your stomach somersaulted, he chewed on his lip, and you could've kisses him hard if your heart would've allowed you to relax.
"Shut up," you muttered bashfully. "I mean, thank you. What? Stop it," you looked away from him and he snickered.
"I'll do it," he told you, giving you and your warm face a small break. He started to get out, and you fumbled with the seatbelt to meet him at the front of your car, where it was warmer compared to the cool breeze surrounding you and Colt. "If you wanna stop just tell me. Also, I'm gonna need a kiss," he teased and shrugged casually.
You rolled your eyes, but how could you deny him? The air had been sexually charged the whole ride here, and now that you were stepping closer, you felt like you were being fused to him. Like a massive chemical reaction would occur as soon as you touched him.
You closed the distance between you and him, on your tip-toes. Your hands gripped the colourful green and blue plaid shirt he was wearing, and his hands held your hips, clenching slightly. He waited for you, this time, as your breath mingled with his.
The touch of your lips to his made you breathless instantly, and what was meant to have been an innocent and quick kiss became another make out session. With you on the hot hood of your car, with his fingers tangled in your hair, with yours buried in his hair, and his other sneaky hand lifting your dress higher and higher.
"Colt," you breathed his name out softly.
He released you instantly and licked the taste of your mouth from his lips. "Right, be professional. Totally."
"Not too professional," you smiled and slid down the hood with his help. "Anyway," you looked ahead and the darkening sky, "It's no Nürburgring, but we're not here to check my car's features. What I did check was the traction, it's all good… so…" You clicked your tongue and gave him a thumbs up, which he returned with a grin.
You quickly entered your car and sat in the passenger seat, but when he entered the driver's side, his head hit the top of the roof and his thick thighs squeezed beneath the steering wheel.
"My God… you are tiny," he murmured playfully, adjusting the seat and the mirrors. You snorted, slightly embarrassed. But as you watched him, your wondered if this was a good idea. You wanted to jump him and—no, please. "Alright, how attached are you to this car?" He joked, putting his seatbelt on while looking over at you.
Colt was hot enough as it was, but being there in the car with him as he smoothly sped down the road, making sharp turns smoother than you could've done—you couldn't tell if your heart was racing because of the speed or because of how hot he looked beside you.
You liked the way he handled your car, the way his hands moved adeptly over the steering wheel, the way his thighs became taut with every press on the brake and gas pedal. There was surely nothing more sexy than the sight of him concentrated and cautious, all at once, as he drove at speeds higher than you were brave enough for.
He turned into an empty field and drove straight a fair distance into the tall-ish grass, at first. He was testing the ground, feeling it beneath the wheels as he turned and braked before moving the car in a circle, once and twice, then stopped.
His chest was heaving and he looked alluringy flushed—you imagined that you probably looked similar to him. He relaxed against the seat, rested his hands on his thighs, and looked over at you with an exhilarated smile. He looked beautiful and unexpectedly relaxed.
You smiled back, dazed and… aroused.
"Wow, that was…. you're… amazing," you sighed, looking out at the night sky, a slim orange line of light remained on the horizon. You were too embarrassed by your desire for him, but the darkening sky was distraction enough. For a few moments, the bright star that shined near the moon on the darkest side of the sky captured your attention.
"Not as amazing as you," he exhaled. His hand wrapped around yours and you turned back to him with a blush you wanted to hide extremely bad.
What you really wanted most was for the warm throb between your legs to stop, so the moment could remain sweet and funny, but the way he looked at you, and the way his hand felt in yours was making you feel like you were on the verge of combusting.
You pressed your thighs together and squeezed his hand subconsciously. Before you could attempt to brush it off as nothing, Colt leaned forward to capture your lips with his. The kiss was fueled by adrenaline and by the suffocating lust that had been engulfing you both since the morning.
Typically, you would have pulled away to crack a joke and ease the sexual tension, but you were done with trying to stay away from him. There was no reason to continue being professional now that you were off set.
So instead, you unbuckled your belt and then removed his own—more carefully, so it wouldn't slap painfully against his body. His mouth chased yours anyway and it made your stomach flip. You cupped his face to guide his mouth back to yours, ignoring the course tickle of his beard against your soft palms, and kissed him roughly.
He moaned softly into your mouth, surprised, but kissed you back just as desperately.
You felt him blindly turn the car off, and once he did, he turned to you fully, and quickly started to lift your dress up your legs. Your heart pounded in your ears while he squeezed your thighs. His teeth nipped at your lips, your soft gasp gave his tongue access to slip into your mouth, and slide against yours.
Heat pooled between your legs, dampening your underwear. His warm hand was gripping your hip beneath your dress, so tight it made you moan as he expertly licked into your mouth. It was maddening and you only pulled away to regain your wits, to catch your breath, to see what he was currently feeling or thinking about the whole… You and him thing. In the car.
"Do you wanna…?" He asked before you could, with his cheeks burnt red with a blush. You felt as hot and coloured as he looked, despite the chill of the night. You pressed your thighs together, feeling the wetness between your legs soaking your underwear, which only worsened by staring at the flushed and wrecked state of him. "We don't have to, it's up to you."
Instead of responding, you shoved your dress upwards, and Colt leered at you as you lifted your hips to pull your underwear down your legs. He made you feel, possibly, hotter than you ever felt before, and made you act far more daring than you thought yourself capable of. You would never have had car sex in the middle of an empty field with anyone.
But everything always felt right with Colt.
"Are you sure?" He murmured, lips parting as he watched you climb over the middle and into his lap. He swallowed and carefully placed his hands on your thighs, grateful that you'd kept your dress lifted as you slid over to him.
"Very sure," you reassured him, pecking his parted lips once.
"Okay, cool, cool," he said, voice slightly shaky. You leaned close to him, holding the seat with one hand and trying to find the handle beneath the seat to recline it with the other.
Colt's mouth was on your neck instantly, beard scratching your sensitive skin, his playful and passionate mouth worked like heat conduction with your body. You'd held the handle, distracted by his lips and tongue against your pulse, it was when he pulled away that you mischievously pulled the lever.
"Oh, fuck!" He exclaimed, attempting to sit up straight against the sudden movement. You tried to balance in his lap despite his shock and then he laughed, melting against the seat with his hands in his hair.
"Sorry, I thought it'd be funny," you laughed apologetically, playing with the button of his jeans. You leaned over him and brushed his wavy hair away from his blue eyes.
"That was really mean," he chuckled. You apologised again, but he was laughing with you, and shifting beneath you until he was comfortable. His hands were back on your thighs and moving up higher, reigniting a heat between your legs. "Are you comfortable?" He whispered, watching your face as your eyes danced over his contently.
"Mm-hmm," you nodded, caressing his cheek, just above his beard. "Are you comfortable?" Colt leaned into your touch and you tried, with one hand, to unbottom his shirt, only slightly exasperated by the sight of a white t-shirt underneath.
You turned the light on above you have clearer sight of the buttons. He looked way prettier, even under the yellow light, like honey or gold.
"It's kinda hot," was all he said. You smiled, felt his thighs become tense beneath you, and so you started to undo the buttons with both hands to get him out of the warm layers faster. "Can I… touch you?" He asked quietly, brushing his thumbs along your hipbones.
"You are touching me," you teased, trying to focus on popping each button of his shirt out, and doing the same to his jeans. He shifted beneath you and flexed his hands impatiently on your thighs.
"Can I touch you… everywhere else?" He was being playful, too, now, but if only he knew that the way he was touching you now was somehow turning you on.
"If you get all this clothes off, then yeah," you replied, shoving the warm flannel over his broad shoulders. He chuckled and lifted himself up to shrug the warmest layer off his shoulders, and took the opportunity to kiss you. Your hands clenched the hem of his white t-shirt. You could feel his muscles tightening as he attempted to smoothly remove and throw his shirt in the back seat.
You laughed against his mouth when he yanked it off his wrist impatiently, and eagerly began to pull his t-shirt up his muscled torso yourself. Your hands moved flat against his warm skin, feeling every hard and defined plane of his body with curious intensity. Colt smiled and hummed softly at the cool touch of your hands, his hips wiggled beneath you, urging you to go faster. When his shirt was high enough, he barley allowed your lips to separate, and instantly returned to kissing you.
You threw the shirt in the back, brought one of your hands back down to his jeans, and carefully pressed your hand against his dick. He groaned against your mouth and his hips bucked upwards into your palm. A pulse shot through your clit at the sound and you gently kept rubbing your palm against him to draw more sounds from him and buried your fingers in his soft hair.
"Please," he mumbled against your lips, pulling at your clothes, demanding that you be bare above him. Your stomach clenched and you let him drag your dress up your body, so you were sitting on his lap only in your bra.
You breathed heavily, your skin flushed and prickled as he stared longingly at you. He pulled you closer with his hands on your hips, blunt nails pressing into your flesh.
You leaned into him as he settled back into the reclined seat with your body as close to his as possible.
"Kiss me again," he whispered, his baby blue eyes glued to your mouth, begging for it to be on his again while your hands wandered between your bodies to get rid of his pants.
You dipped down to meet his greedy mouth with a singular firm kiss.
"Colt," you murmured over his kiss-swollen lips, having half the mind to beg him to finally touch you. Except your breath hitched when he fervently leaned forward to capture your mouth with his, licked gently along your lip as an indication of his intentions, and carefully slipped his tongue into the rift made by your surprise.
You could feel how slick you were, your neediness thrummed through your cunt and tingled across your skin wherever his body touched yours.
You mindfully began unzipping his jeans as he devoured your mouth with so much passion your head felt light and your hearing was muffled by your heartbeat.
His lips moved over yours hotly and his warm hands pressed tightly against the skin of your back. He adeptly undid your bra, threw it in the backseat as well, and ghosted his lips down your throat and sternum to kiss your breasts.
You brought your hand inside his jeans, feeling the warm, thick hardness of his dick against your teasing hand over his briefs. He groaned and bit gently at your breast, and his hands trailed down your sides roughly.
You couldn't take it, the feeling of his hot mouth, and the aching need between your legs, and the tingling sensation on your sensitive body following the touch of his skin.
You thread your fingers through his hair, urging his mouth away from your spit-slick nipples. He grunted at the sharp tug of his waves when he ignored you, released your breast with a pop, and gazed up at you endearingly dazed.
"What?" He asked with a playful smile, trying to hide the fact that he was more than enjoying teasing you. You tugged at his hair again, with enough force to draw a deep groan from him, and your cheeks flared up.
He bit his lip when you shoved your hand inside his underwear, your fingertips traced the length of him, feeling him throb and twitch. Colt whined quietly, his brows drawn together, teeth buried impossibly deep into his already kiss-swollen lip. You clenched around nothing and circled your thumb around the leaking tip of his cock. He shakily exhaled your name and lifted his hips into your hand.
"I need you, Colt."
"Fuck… yeah, me too," he panted and started shoving his briefs and jeans down before you even got your hand out. You laughed softly at his enthusiasm and lifted your knee up to the padded console next to the seat to give him more space.
You kissed him again, felt his smug smile against your lips when you tenderly cupped his face in your hands. He followed your mouth when you pulled away to drag your mouth down his neck and collar bone. Your hands moved down his warm skin, exploring what you could of his fit body. You licked at his skin, the dips of his throat, and grazed his collarbone with your teeth.
Your hearing was entirely focused on his heavy breathing and breathy words. You felt his fingers move along the inside of your thigh and you sucked gently at his chest, then bit down on the hard muscle.
"Shit," he grunted, and pressed his hand between your legs. His palm rested against your clit and his fingers circled your entranced. You gasped as your stomach summersaulted and heat spread through your body instantaneously. "You're so wet," he murmured, dragging his glistening fingers up to your clit.
You lifted yourself up shakily, hands flat on his chest, and watched him. His blue eyes first swept over your face as he circled your clit, your thighs shook as you kept yourself up. He bit his lip before allowing his gaze to fall to your breasts and finally, between your legs where his fingers were busy. He looked so attractive beneath you, chest heaving and face flushed pink.
You shuddered when he pressed two fingers into you, slowly and shallowly pulling them out and back into you, and never going as deep as you wanted him to be. Still, he curled his fingers inside you and your breath hitched.
He kept the same rhythm and you flushed as the slowness somehow amplified the lubric sound of his fingers entering you. Your lips parted, shaky breaths slipped from between them, and your eyes fell shut for a few moments before opening again to criticise him. "You're driving me crazy, Colt."
"You look hot when I do that," he admitted unapologetically, and gave you a smirk. You squirmed and clenched around his fingers, embarrassed by his earnestness. And then he continued to tease you, watching your hips move and your body tremble when his thumb brushed against your clit just perfectly.
"Stop that," you scolded, holding his wrist shortly despite the new layer of slick that dripped around his hand. He hummed softly and buried his fingers deeper into you.
"What?" He asked with a grin, moving his fingers faster and pressing his thumb harder against your clit. The sound of your wetness nearly mortified you. "Is that better?" He asked softly, but still teasingly. Your stomach felt like it was free-falling and your thighs twitched, wanting to shut around his hand as your pleasure increased exponentially.
"Please, just…" You leaned back slightly and dragged your nails gently along his abs. Through your hazey eyes you wrapped your fingers around his cock and gently slid your loose fist over him.
"I heard you," Colt mumbled jokingly, jerking his hips into your hand. He gasped when you slid your palm over his wet tip and squeezed your hand downwards to spread his precum over the smooth and hot skin of his cock. He laughed and pulled his fingers from inside you. "Right, I was just- ah, fuck," he grunted, slightly thrown by the unexpected sensation of your thumb rubbing beneath the head of his cock repeatedly when your slid your hand upwards.
"You're such a fucking dork," you mumbled, stopping your own tormenting touch to guide his cock between your legs.
"Uh, yeah, and you're into that." He bit his lip and stared into your eyes, which glittered with amusement at his words. You watched him suspiciously and smiled a little. "I mean, there's also my six pack and when you see me naked, you start-" You interrupted him by sinking down on him, he choked on his words, and moaned with you as you slowly dropped yourself on him. You stretched around him, feeling deliciously full and hot with him throbbing inside you.
Colt gripped your hips tightly once you were fully seated on him. You smirked at the facial expression he made when you clenched around him in your own smug excitement and languidly lifted yourself up with your hands on his chest.
"Let's keep kissing," he proposed breathlessly, bringing one of his hands up your shoulder, behind your neck, and into your hair to pull you forward. You couldn't help laughing at him, but allowed him to bring you down. His soft mouth parted slightly, ready for yours, making your stomach tingle.
His beard tickled your chin and lips when your lips collided, his tongue swiped over your teeth, then slid into your mouth to move against yours.
You lifted yourself up cautiously, nose brushing against his when you pulled away to find a comfortable position and rhythm. But Colt was serious about kissing you and lifted his head to reattach his lips to yours, and thrusted upwards into you.
You moaned into the kiss, forced to hover above him with his steel grip on your hip, and his hand clenched in your hair to keep your mouth firmly against his. He inched you up his body, hips angled slightly, and rolled his upwards experimentally, pushing his cock against your gspot and making it so you clit rubbed against him.
His name tumbling from your lips was muffled by his hungry mouth against yours, his tongue tasting as deep and thoroughly as he could despite the clash of teeth. He fucked you harder, panting and breathing against your lips to catch his breath before kissing you with so much passion you knew your lips would be sensitive in either a few hours or by tomorrow.
"You feel so good, fuck," he grunted against your mouth and sank his teeth into your lip. You whined at the sting, but your stomach fluttered at his words. He licked your lip soothingly and let his calloused hands desperately wander over your body, occasionally flexing his hands over your skin. You could feel yourself getting wetter and wetter around him.
"Colt, I-" you whimpered, moving your mouth away from his to bury your face in his neck, feeling the unabated force of your orgasm approaching. His hips stuttered when you sucked softly at his throat and he breathed out your name. You inhaled the scent of him, the shampoo, and body wash, and shaving cream nearly masked by the thin sheen of sweat on his skin.
"Please… wanna see you," he exhaled the words unevenly, nuzzling against the side of your face. His breaths and grunts against your ear made you shiver and tighten around him.
You were too stupefied and saturated with pleasure to lift yourself up, but when his fingers drove into the flesh of your hips and his thrusts became sloppy, all you wanted was to watch him fall apart beneath you.
You lifted your flushed face and steadied your forearms on his broad shoulders, meeting his glossy blue eyes, his rosy cheeks above his beard. His warm breath fanned over your face and you stopped seeing sense in continuing to edge yourself on him.
Pleasure washed over you, his name and praises dropped from your lips in desperate sobs. You clamped down and pulsed around him as you came, trying to fuck yourself slower on him to drag your orgasm out. He cursed against your open mouth and pleasure contorted his handsome face.
His hips snapped upwards and he held your hips down as he twitched and spilled inside you. He grunted your name and helped you ride out your orgasm with him. You were out of breath and your thighs were burning from the position you were in, but your body was tingling with so much numbing pleasure, that you didn't care.
You watched him become more gentle again as he came down from his high with you, that sweet smile returned and his adoring blue eyes turned softer. It made your head spin, the way he looked at you. And right now, you could see all the jokes and loving words taking shape in his mind as he caught his breath.
You took his face in your hands, pressing tender kisses over his cheeks, forehead, nose, and anywhere you could reach. He was smiling the entire time, almost triumphantly, but he looked more shy than ever.
"Was it that good?" He teased anyway, smirking playfully.
"I don't like you," you lied, dropping your hands to his chest.
"Liar," he accused, pressing your hips closer to him. Your sensitive core jolted and he stifled a groan, sensitive and soft inside you.
Colt sat up, breathing slowly against your lips, but he didn't kiss you this time. His fingers ghosted gently down your back and rested on your waist. "Wanna eat some burritos?"
You stared down at him, his blue eyes shining from his orgasm, his face flushed and alive from the afterglow, his wavy hair a sexy mess, and his lips red and plush.
You bit your lip and looked back up into his eyes. He looked wrecked and… happy. It was endearing. It caused a fiery heat to blaze up your chest to your cheeks. "Y-yeah, sounds, uh, that sounds nice."
He stared at you and you stared back, wondering if you'd given yourself away; the fact that you really liked him.
"What?" He smiled, looking at you curiously.
"What?" You shrugged, flustered and pretending that you didn't just realise that you really really liked him. Okay, you loved him. "I said yes."
"Hmm," he tilted his head, eyes moving slowly over your face. You tensed in his grasp and blazed with embarrassment. Run away. You lifted yourself off him, ignoring the dribble of cum slipping down your thighs and over his cock.
You laughed shyly to yourself, slipping away into the passenger seat, where you started to feel the ache in your body as you relaxed. You tried to ignore him, and listened only to him readjusting his jeans and briefs.
"What were you thinking just then?" He wondered, leaning over to take your chin in his hand and force you to gaze into his stupidly pretty face.
"Absolutely not!"
"What? Please, tell me," he begged. You shrugged and kissed his palm before turning away to retrieve your dress and underwear. "I'll kiss you," he offered.
"You'll kiss me either way," you smiled, pulling your underwear up your legs.
"That's true. You're lips are very soft and they taste like roses and they feel like roses, too, and your mouth is always minty. Do you eat?" He rambled, his gaze focused on your mouth. "I mean, of course you eat, I was just wondering-"
"Okay, I'll tell you," you cut him off, your heart began racing at just the prospect. He perked up, but you just couldn't fold. "As soon as we get those burritos! Buckle up, cowboy, I'm hungry."
He deflated slightly, but then he smirked, watching you put your seatbelt on. "Can I at least put my shirt back on first?"
"No, I think I can see a little better in the dark when you're shirtless," you jested, dreamily trailing your hand down his bare chest. His muscles became taut under your touch and he released a breathy laugh.
"I'm driving," he reminded you quietly.
You brought your hand up to his jaw and smiled, scratching gently at his beard. "Whatever," you shrugged, "my car, my rules."
You were about to move your hand away, but he took your hand in his, pressed your small palm into his cheek, and looked at you through his lashes. "I think we should kiss."
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#alphabetquestsubmission#colt seavers#colt seavers x reader#colt seavers smut#colt seavers fanfiction#colt seavers x you#the fall guy#ryan gosling character
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Ozzie back here again to add to the idea of how much König needs to eat a day, here are a few suggestions that I can imagine he does to make his great need for food easier to handle (this is based on my own experience and the experiences of the other people at my gym and old veterans at my favourite pub so do not use this for in real life as this is just to help imagine how König eats and lives)
So, from what I know from the veteran I have made friends with, when he was in the military, they had a focus on foods that provided them with a great amount of energy, protein, iron, zinc, and vitamins C and D as it was the nutrients that they tended to run out of the most but it also the ones with some of the greater consequences with diseases that can make them weak and cause their immune system to be weak. Soldiers also eat a lot of protein as it is believed to help them grow their muscles more quickly. This makes me believe that König would focus on foods that provide him with a lot of nutrients but mainly protein to grow his muscles but not too much protein as he does not want to get sick and to build the balanced diet needed for his lifestyle
Some great food options for him would be many vegetables and fruits but for protein, I would suggest things such as eggs, poultry, beans, lentils, fish, nuts, chickpeas, yoghurts, and cheeses, I tend not to suggest red meats unless they are very lean due to the amount of fat in them and not being fond of the texture but I imagine König to enjoy them so if you were to make him food I would include things such as those along with some form of starch/carbohydrate by giving him some pasta, rice, bread, or potatoes which can help fill him up faster without him overeating and if they are reheated they will get resistant starch
I imagine König lives in the Alps so that he can be away from people and enjoy nature but I also imagine him earning a lot of money due to his job, putting his money into stocks/businesses, some dodgy dealings, and saving it up as he had no reason to spend most of it which means he could buy a lot of land. With this large amount of land, I imagine him using it to have his own giant garden with some animals, as it means he has to deal with fewer people to get what he needs. The garden would probably be made up of an orchard with trees of his favourite fruits but it would mainly be patches of vegetables and fruits while for his animals it would make sense for him to have chickens as he probably needs a lot (and I mean a lot) of eggs so having chickens make it a lot easier
If he can not grow it on his own land, he would probably hunt or forage it, which means that he can get his energy and murderous tendencies out that would normally be taken out on the field while still getting some food out of it (but it sadly makes him more hungry). But if it is a certain food like milk or cheeses or yoghurts he will most likely just go down to the local markets in the nearby towns and villages so he can get fresh items from people he trusts
Now we know some information about where he gets the food from we need to know where you would be cooking and keeping it. An appropriate and smart option would be to have a walk-in freezer in his basement that he can use to store the great amount of meats he has that has a wine/alcohol storage opposite it. While the kitchen would probably be massive and fully decked out with anything you need to be able to cook and two or three double-door fridges that are filled with any item that needs to stay chilled in it, although the cabinets are mostly up too high for anyone to reach without a stool unless you are König but they are filled to the brim with sweets as the giant has a sweet tooth to match his size or the weird collection of novelty cups he has collected from places he has went on missions too or beer glasses from different bars or pubs
If you were to cook food for him batch cooking (so you do not keep having to cook again and again) would be the best option with foods that are traditional to Austria or hearty foods like stews that can be cooked in large amounts with lots amounts of meats and vegetables (I can give a whole list of foods I recommend or I think he would like if you want them)
As you can tell I have too many ideas about this and I have way more because this has inspired me, and thank you for reading this long rant that probably does not make any sense
I love this so much 😭 The sweet tooth headcanon, his collection of beer glasses and such, him living in the Alps and hunting some of that precious protein... This screams Cabin/Off the grid König to me, I would make a cute garden for him to get those veggies stocked and stashed to some root cellar like this:
And then I'd probably spend the rest of my time here, cooking those hearty stews for him:
#feeding König#könig headcanons#I'm utterly shameless about wanting to take care of this man's EVERY need#long post#tw: long post
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New Gaza fundraiser asks I've received (22 October)
Sahar & Issam (@esamadnan94): Sahar and Issam were newly married and had just moved into their new home when they became displaced. Issam used to be a lawyer but is now unemployed. They are fundraising to evacuate and buy basic necessities. (https://gofund.me/06e95d5d) (#205 on @/gazavetters vetted list, shared by 90-ghost)
Basma Al-Ghoul (@basmaalghoul): Basma and her husband have 3 children: Toleen (8), Malak (6) and Kamal (4). Basma used to be a makeup artist. Her husband is also responsible for Houria, an aunt of the children who has lost her parents. Houria suffers from gallbladder disease. (https://gofund.me/2f9b40b9) (#780 on Butterfly Effect Project vetted list, vetted by nabulsi)
Haya Jouda (@haya-jouda, @haya-jouda-1): Haya worked as a dentist and has 3 children: Jameel (14), Bahaa (12), and Youssef (7). Youssef is suffering from type 1 diabetes, a severe vitamin D deficiency, and dysfunction in his kidney and liver. They have managed to evacuate to Egypt, but now they lack the money for Youssef’s medical treatment. (https://gofund.me/25f8b108) (#170 on @/gazavetters vetted list)
Ahmed Al-Mashaal (@bird-of-paradise7, @najah-tamim, @save-my-daughter-najah, @save-my-daughter): Ahmed has lost his son Tamim due to the lack of medical resources in Gaza. He does not want to lose his 1-year-old daughter Najah too. Najah is currently trapped in Northern Gaza with her mother. Ahmed is in southern Gaza caring for his sick father (who suffers from heart attacks), his injured brother and his younger siblings. One of his brother suffers from partial memory loss and a skull fracture from an explosion, and is in urgent need for medical treatment to remove a sharpnel stuck in his head. (https://gofund.me/d1edc0bf) (vetted by @/gaza-evacuation-funds, shared by 90-ghost)
Yousef, Hassan (@hasanamasi22, @virushasanhh): Hassan is in the southern part of Gaza while his wife and 2 children, Yousef and Malak, are in Northern Gaza with his parents. Their house has been bombed and they are struggling to buy basic necessities. They wish to evacuate out of Gaza. (https://gofund.me/eea040f7) (#196 on @/gazavetters vetted list)
Fatma Kuhail (@fatmakuhail22): Fatma is 22 years old. She and her husband Tariq have 2 children: Masoud (4) and Masa (1). They have lost their home and are currently displaced and living in a tent. (https://gofund.me/2b3d706f) (#227 on @/gazavetters vetted list) ($150 CAD raised of $15,000 goal)
Click here for my Google Doc with my complete masterlist of all the Palestinian gfm asks I've received, updated daily (along with other verified ways to send aid to Gaza).
How are gfm campaigns vetted? See here, here, here and here.
See post here for other verified ways to send aid to Gaza.
Don't forget your Daily Clicks on Arab.org, it's free!!! and Every click made is registered in their system and generates donation from sponsors/advertisers.
See links below for my Masterlists of Vetted Fundraisers from the Palestinians who sent me asks for if you want to help more people! As well as resources for palestinian students if you are a palestinian student!
Masterlists of Vetted Fundraisers
Click here for my Masterlist for fundraisers from 13 - 25 July.
Click here for my Masterlist for fundraisers from 26 -29 July.
Click here for my Masterlist for fundraisers from 30 July - 1 August.
Click here for my Masterlist for fundraisers from 2 - 5 August.
Click here for my Masterlist for fundraisers from 6 - 10 August.
Click here for my Masterlist for fundraisers from 11 - 14 August.
Click here for my Masterlist for fundraisers from 15 - 18 August
Click here for my Masterlist for fundrasiers from 19 - 21 August
Click here for my Masterlist for fundrasiers from 22 - 24 August
Click here for my Masterlist for fundraisers from 25 - 28 August
Click here for my Masterlist for fundraisers from 29 August - 1 September
Click here for my Masterlist for fundraisers from 2 - 5 September.
Click here for my Masterlist for fundraisers from 6-10 September.
Click here for my Masterlist for fundraisers from 11-14 September.
Click here for my Masterlist for fundraisers from 15-18 September.
Click here for my Masterlist for fundraisers from 19-22 September.
Click here for my Masterlist for fundraisers from 23-26 September.
Click here for my Masterlist for fundraisers from 27-30 September.
Click here for my Masterlist for fundraisers from 1-4 October.
Click here for my Masterlist for fundraisers from 5-9 October.
Click here for my Masterlist for fundraisers from 10-14 October.
Click here for my Masterlist for fundraisers from 15-21 October.
Resources for Palestinian Students!
Initiatives and resources to support Palestinian students, academics and universities:
This is a list of initiatives and resources for Gazan students seeking to complete their studies, including initiatives, resources, training and scholarships. See list here.
Scholarships for Displaced Palestinian students:
Putting this here for the palestininans who follow me: If you are a displaced Palestinian student looking to fund your education, this document lists the scholarships available around the world for displaced Palestinian students.
#palestine#gaza#free gaza#free palestine#post has been vetted and verified#verified#gaza genocide#vetted#donations#fundraising#vetted gfm#vetted campaign#vetted fundraisers#vetted gofundme#verified fundraiser#verified gofundme#gaza fundraiser#gaza gofundme#palestine gofundme#palestine fundraiser#gaza gfm#palestine gfm#new ask#new asks#22 october
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US Americans complaining about Daylight Savings: you are not Cousin Oskaar. You will never be Cousin Oskaar.
Heavy asterisk of 'unless you're in Alaska' you're living below the 49th parallel, you don't know you're BORN. You never get daylight for less than 8hr 15 even if you're right up at the northern border.
These are all the European countries whose southernmost tip is north of the US-Canadian border. (notice you're also all solidly south of most of Germany, Czechia, Slovakia, Ukraine, and Russia.)
Great Britain starts at 50°N (aka 7hr 45) and I grew up at 55°N (7hr 10, so already an hour shorter at the solstice than the northernmost point of the contiguous US). Where I live now, just shy of 56°N, we're looking at 7 hours of daylight at the solstice. Today, Nov 3, is the last day I will get more than 9 hours of sunlight until February - today the sun rose at 7:25 and it'll set in a couple of hours at half 4 (our clocks went back last week). In a fortnight, we will dip below the length of the shortest day you guys get all year round, and we will not get back up to the minimum amount of sunlight the contiguous US ever endures again untiiiiiil the 25th of January. That's almost TWO ENTIRE MONTHS where I will leave for work (at 8:30 - it's not a long commute) before sunrise and by the time I head home it will have been dark for an hour.
We're not Cousin Oskaar either though cause Scandinavia as a whole STARTS at 55°N. The southernmost tip of Iceland is at 63°N. At that latitude, the shortest day is 4hr 45, and that's the SOUTHERN EDGE. In Reykjavik, the shortest day is a bit over 4 hours of sunlight - about half what you'll get at the Canadian border. They are already, on a November 3rd, down to 7hr 45 of sunlight - today in Reykjavik the sun rose after 9:15AM and will set by 5PM. By the end of the month they will only see the sun at all from 10:45-3:45 - as Oskaar says in his video "we get three hours of sunlight! every day, three hours!"
not sure what my point is except to shake my stick once more and say YOU DON'T KNOW YOU'RE BORN, AMERICANS (except Alaskans).
(why am I so het up by this? well as many as 92% of adults in Northern Europe have chronic vitamin D deficiency and the SAD hits like a fucking train as soon as the daylight drops below 11 hours, which happened at the start of October, and I'm just mad that you get to complain when you aren't suffering the 4PM Dark with me.)
#red said#the worst part is not that the days are short it's sitting in October watching it get dark from my office window in the mid afternoon#and staring down the barrel of the next 5 months knowing i won't feel all the way like a person again until the end of March
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Daily Check-in: May 20, 2024 🎀
omg it'd almost the end of May, what the heck? I'm so excited, I leave to Colorado for my 8 weeks of work very soon and I can't wait! it's going to be such a cool experience being in a new place for a while!
Monday was a good day. My dad and my boyfriend both think I overdid it on the physical exertion a bit, and I agree. I took a long walk, outside, in 95 degree heat, with no sunscreen. Which is why they said I overdid it because my chest and shoulders are sooooo sunburnt. But Monday was amazing! Started off strong, ended not as strong but still good!
🩷 What I Accomplished:
~13k+ steps for the day
took an hour and a half long walk outside(it was amazing, I loved it, I stayed hydrated ans soaked up all the sunlight and fresh air)
completed a 30 min beginner pilates workout from Move with Nicole
did my morning journaling and gratitude
wrote down a positive quote of the day and read through my journal where I wrote down some things that I want to read daily
read and "annotated" 14 pages of Atomic Habits
took a 20 minute power nap
worked a ~6.5 hour shift
drank at least ~80oz of water (that's pretty good given I used to drink like 20oz a day and wonder why I never felt good)
took my two medications + vitamin D supplement
took a cool shower and washed my hair at the end of the day
went to sleep early!
💞 Good Things That Happened
my friend and a supervisor im close with complimented my appearance in a way that gave me a confidence/motivational boost
my other friend and I decided we're probably getting our nails done together next week
that same friend ^ and I are going to go shopping next week as well
my work is going to schedule me where I can still go to brunch with my dad on Friday!
my man starts his first day of work on Tuesday (I'm so excited for him! It's gonna suck not being able to text him all day, but I'm so proud of him for getting this job and all the progress he's made)
got complimented on how efficient I was at work by the night shift supervisor
ate goods that made me happy without feeling guilty or anxiety about it
💔 What Could've Gone Better
I over ate a bit at night after work and felt kind of bloated and sick when I went to bed. it's okay tho, things happen, and Tuesday is a new day <3
super sunburnt!!!! my chest and shoulders are bright, bright red! and I'm a naturally pretty tan person, so seeing my skin that red, yep, I'm definitely super burnt! need to wear sunscreen and protective clothes when I take a shorter walk on tuesday
I definitely overdid it on that walk. got too overzealous and pushed myself a lot. my legs were hurting so bad by the end of the day and that's not good. as much as I enjoyed the walk, I need to be so much more kinder to and thoughtful of my body. it does a lot for me, and I need to treat it right <3
💗 Stuff For Tuesday
take a shorter walk outside in the morning
read more of Atomic Habits (and annotate)
begin studying Spanish some more (fell off the habit but I have a lesson next Tuesday the 28th, so I need to be prepared!)
do some gentle morning and night skincare (my face is a little red from yesterday but not too bad since I wore a hat during my walk)
do my morning beginner pilates and gratitude journaling (I've already done these as of right now, but I struggled with the so-called "beginner" pilates video from IsaWelly. practice makes perfect, tho so I've got to keep consistent!)
book nail appointments with my friend for next week (hopefully the nail tech/nail salon I go to has availability for her and I to go together! I also need to pick the design i want!)
budget for this upcoming paycheck and what I need to save vs what I'm going to spend (and need to buy)
work a ~5 hour shift
talk to my man over video call at the end of the day to see how work/training went for him (it's his first day of work, but it's a hands on training kind of day for him as well)
💕 Song of The Day: aespa - Supernova
what an absolutely amazing song omg. aespa literally never misses with their music. I almost put Spicy, but I've been obsessed with Supernove since it dropped. I love it so much <3
That's all for Monday, like I said, it was a beautiful start to the week for me! And here's to Tuesday being a good day as well <3 I hope everyone here has a wonderful beginning of their week!
til next time lovelies 🩷
#pink pilates girl#pink pilates princess#self development#wonyoungism#it girl#mental health#self care#that girl#physical health#self love#that girl energy#becoming that girl#pinkcore#pink moodboard#pink blog#pilates aesthetic#pink aesthetic#pink academia#it girl self care#it girl energy#clean girl aesthetic#clean girl#green juice girl#high value woman#spanish studyblr#studyblr#langblr#lifeblr#university student#college student
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The Wasp Saga, or, How I Wasted Half my Lunch Break
(Note: If you are rude about wasps on this post you will be blocked. We respect them as important ecosystem members here.)
Yesterday it was super warm, like three months out of season warm, and in order to stave off the climate anxiety I decided to walk to the corner grocery store for lunch, eat outside, and get some rare February vitamin D. In a rare W the grocery counter Chinese food was freshly made, way better quality than usual, and ON SALE so I was riding that high. I ate, I enjoyed the weather. As I was starting to consider saving the rest for the next day's lunch a wasp buzzed up to me and landed. on my leg.
Now one thing about me is that I am trying very hard to overcome a crippling phobia of bees and wasps. From when I was a child through my early 20's I was frequently trapped inside or outside buildings because a wasp was hanging out near the door frame and I would refuse to go within 20 feet of it. Please read the following as if it required the courage of a knight and the patience of a saint.
This wasp was likely a queen that had woken up from hibernation a couple months early and was looking for a place to build a new hive. I respect wasps as important members of the ecosystem despite my deep seated fear and did not wish to kill her. She was the least flappable, most chill wasp I have ever encountered. This worked against me.
You see, she was quite happy to be on my leg. Started meandering down my khakis towards my shoe as if she didn't have a care in the world. As if I wasn't shaking my leg, walking around, stomping my foot, jerking back and forth, and jumping up and down to try and dislodge her. Eventually she walked onto my shoe and I did NOT want her do decide the inside of my pants was an attractive option here. So I bent down and blew on her, which finally bothered her enough to get off this ride. She buzzed away and landed.
On the edge of my lunch.
Now if this were any other day, I might have let her have it. Being on the wrong side of an angry wasp is not pleasant. But today the chinese food was good, and I wanted those leftovers as much as she did. So I decided to fight for it.
Let me set the scene: I am sitting on a concrete ledge, about knee-high. My lunch is inside a container, and the container is still nestled in the plastic bag from the grocery store. The container has a lid, which I managed to get over the food before the wasp could climb onto it. The wasp was on the plastic container, somewhat nestled inside the plastic bag.
Now if this wasp was content on my leg, she was downright ecstatic here on my lunch. She has just discovered a heaven of meat and fat and sugar. Her daughters will feast their whole lifetimes. She is not letting go.
I am trying to figure out how to bother this blissed-out wasp enough that she decides to abandon this nirvana, but not enough for her to decide I am a threat that must be eliminated. The next few minutes are spent nudging and prodding and shifting the container. Not a move. I move the bag. She folds up her wings. I blow on her. Frequently, often, from multiple angles. She's not falling for that trick again.
I try to nudge her off with a fork. Twice. She doesn't even move a leg, just sways sideways. I decide to take more drastic measures. I get up on the seat, take off my overshirt, and gently start flailing it at the bag, hoping to brush her off or make her think she's being swatted.
At this point a dog walker comes by and notices me standing up on a concrete wall, gingerly flapping my henley at a Monday orange chicken special. "Wasp stole my lunch," I explain. She sympathizes and moves on. I realize the wasp also stole my dignity a long while ago.
A gust of wind hits and the wasp seeks shelter under the lip of the container. My lunch break is very nearly over. I seriously begin to consider that I may lose. I realize that leaving my lunch here would be littering, and wildly against my morals. I press on.
I pick up the container out of the bag, wasp and all. I swing it left and right. I shake it up and down. She doesn't even care. I seriously wonder if I should just bring her inside and go about my day. Maybe if I put her in the fridge she would get sleepy enough to capture and release. Or maybe I'd be the idiot who let a wasp loose in the building because they brought it inside on purpose. It's a long walk from the door to the fridge.
I get to the door. Now or never. One last idea. I drop it a few inches. This is the move: Precisely enough to make her lose her grip on the container. My last view of her is on her back, wings not even buzzing, legs flailing as she tries to stand up. I snatch what is now mine by right of combat and flee indoors.
It was 76 degrees that day, yesterday afternoon. Tonight it will get down to 12. That's a normal temperature for February. She should not have been awake yet. I hope that despite all the grief and indignity she caused me, that she found somewhere safe and warm to hide, and that she finds somewhere just as good as my container of chinese food to build a nest.
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Listen I feel so ugly all the time I'm trying to get myself better but it seems like every time I do something comes up and knocks me down to the point where I just quit and it pisses me off. Recently I started to use my journal more to write down stuff to better myself I write down quotes of the month, and listen to podcasts at work sometimes. But after work, I'm so tired I work from 8AM-4PM I don't have the energy to do anything especially working out and that's my biggest issue and it hurts me to the core that I'm this way. Do you have any tips to help me? Please cause I need it bad.
Hey sweetie, okay some ideas...
What is it you don't love about yourself ? What is that makes you feel ugly? Are these things you can accept or want to change? If you can't accept things you don't like about yourself, then honestly I would start thinking about making some changes. What is within your power to change? What would make you feel beautiful? Is it your teeth? Start saving for the Invisalign or teeth whitening strips, is it your thin hair, look into new hairstyles, weaves, extensions.. If it's your face shape that you really can't make peace with maybe its worth getting some fillers. And while I don't want to promote these things, in my personal experience I have felt happier when I've invested in my image. I had 11's between my eyebrows and after so long of trying to accept these lines in my head I got botox and I was the happiest. So go invest in you, if you can't afford it do what you can, save up & research online. Invest in your image. I've seen friends feel so unaccepting of how they look for years, putting themselves down because of early wrinkles, bad teeth - when all it would take is some investments. So choose you. This is your one life, do you want to spend it feeling ugly and second class every time you look in the mirror? Or do you want to invest in looking and feeling your best?
On the low energy - I would assess your diet. What are you eating, drinking? This will be a huge factor. Carbs - the devil in my opinion. I spent a vast majority of my life in carb crashing and hunger and needing more sugar / food DESPITE thinking I was eating and drinking healthily. Now I am studying nutrition, I am learning how detrimental my diet was to my overall health. So I would advise, protein and greens diet. Cut sugar, in the form of carbs/ starchy vegetables, replace chocolates / crisps with nuts and fruits. Drink more water, invest in some celtic salts, supplements (vitamin D + k2, vitamin c, DIM, selenium, magnesium - ensure there on no nasties inside bulking agents), grass fed meats, organic veggies, salads, bone broths weekly.
I would also make sure you are doing exercise. It needs to be sweat inducing. A run down the road and back to start with if you're unfit. You don't need a fancy gym. Take a cold shower when you get home (you can start with a hot temp and then do 30-60 seconds cold to build yourself up). Do some stretches, make an effort, as simple as while the kettle boils, make this an opportunity to touch your toes or rotate your hips.
These are some starting points. I would begin the latter first, get your energy and body right initially and then start putting money and investments into your image. Health is wealth, so while you may or may not feel beautiful, without investing in great health you will ultimately struggle.
I hope this helps. DM is open if you have more questions/ need more support xoxo
#manifestyourreality#levelupjourney#levelup#lawofattraction#levelup confidence lawofattraction powerofthemind#growthmindset#manifesting#manifestingmindset#manifest#confident
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URL Song Game
Thank you for the tag @vermutandherring this is such a fun idea!!
antiquated plumbobs: an eclectic assortment of hoarded memories and experiences, people and emotions, akin to a dragon sitting upon its pile of treasure, but it's more one man's trash kind of vibes and oh we're in the woods
A - all the way by shane smith & the saints
N - nightswimming by rem
T - take me home country roads by john denver
I - i am california by john craigie
Q - question...? by taylor swift
U - use somebody by kings of leon
A - all eyes on me by bo burnham
T - the view between villages by noah kahan
E - evelyn by gregory alan isakov
D - dancing on my own by vitamin string quartet
P - punchline by ed sheeran
L - leiser by lea
U - u r my everything by leslie odom jr
M - miss atomic bomb by the killers
B - broken by lovelytheband
O - ophelia by the lumineers
B - by and by by caamp
S - sunday by joy oladokun
This was delightful but also crazy hard (q almost defeated me thank god for taylor) i am not really a song girly, i save things that make my brain feel nice and that's about the only criteria, so I'm going to tag some of the song girlies (and others) in my life, can't wait to see what you do with it darlings
@aheathen-conceivably @surely-sims @thebramblewood @elderberries-and-honey @applesaucesims @stargazingsims and literally anyone else who wants to do this!!
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top 5 most lesbian sergei pictures. go
this is the best thing to ask me i just launched off the couch to get my laptop because I already have them saved to my fucking harddrive
as a wee closeted baby dyke... she plays hockey in the winter and softball in the summer and doesn't understand why she doesn't quite fit in with other gorls
growing up a bit & learning more about himself when he isn't a cog in the red army hockey machine...... growing his hair out because he likes it and it's different... being confident + more settled & like he belongs
this picture quite literally described by notable LGBT ally darren mccarty as "good for you bitch! yknow, you've got the hair and the glasses and the whole look! go for it!"
bitterly scorned ex wife dyke who frequents the gay bars and sends glasses of champagne to the femmes at the bar while strapped up under her mid 2000s low rise jeans
vitamin D deficient and notoriously cold russian bitch dyke who loves his wife, wears plastic bead friendship bracelets that his daughter makes to work, and could have retired a couple years ago but gets antsy without having a job so he's still working anyways. And also always is saying "Remember, I was sexy. I was a real heartthrob. No, No, it's true! I have polaroids of how I looked back then somewhere."
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Worst Undertale theories:
Frisk is canonically female because Sans says "sorry old lady" before his fight
Papyrus survived the genocide because he replaced himself with cardboard. I'm not kidding
Sans is Gojo 😭
Every lowercase sentence in the game is written by Sans.
Listen me here: Sans hacked Alphys(When she sent the ALPHYS updated status. just realized i didn't watch undyne fight the human v.c), the evidence is that it’s lowercase and also that Sans created everything that exist so he must be in every theory
Toriel is homophobic.
The theory I heard was that she was afraid HUMANITY was homophobic, thus why she said "not in front of the human" instead of "the child"
That frisk is male in genocide but female in pacifist. 🤨
Sans = Steven Universe After Not Surviving (
steven
after
not
surviving)
This probably isn't the worst theory but its one that bugs me, this old one I spotted that the reason Undyne has determination is because Alphys puts it in ice cream she eats
Any theory that goes "Gaster because Gaster" despite there being no need to include Gaster, and no evidence supporting his involvement.
That includes the theory of Gaster being involved in the Determination Experiments, despite Alphys directly saying all of it was her.
Sans can remember resets
Frisk is a monster 💀
, Genocide is justified 💀
Sans, Papyrus, Mettaton, Napstablook, Mad Dummy and Gaster were the 6 fallen humans. . . 💀
Chara controls Frisk in Genocide Route
Sans is the strongest ut character
River person = Ralsei because idk what it was but I think it was because like they share the same like cloak
ICE is Gaster (He’ll no! I don’t care if his suitcase resembles the suitcase of the true big shot Swatch, I will accept Rolux Kaard is Gaster first, their faces lineup at the very least)
Sans and Papyrus are revived humans that became monsters from Determination experiments (either by gaster??? or alphys). This would explain them "showing up out of nowhere" and how Papyrus remembers "Green Grass and flowers" before snowdin, where he remembers human life.
The Toriel's Dark Past theory
Sans bleeding Determination
the pile of asriels dust theory
Ralsei is a girl because Susie was surprised after he took off his hat.
Monsters are weaker because they are not exposed to sun and lack vitamin D 💀
Chara committed genocide on the humans before they fell underground. If I remember correctly their reasoning was that they said it was the only explanation as to why Chara was able to achieve as high a damage number as we see when they erase the world.
Soulless Pacifist is just Chara pranking you and that everyone's actually okay anyway since they're just reminding you that you did the genocides!!!!. Might as well just remove everything from the game but the Undyne the Undying and Sans fights without dialogue since there's literally no stakes in the story whatsoever if that's the case, just do the two challenging fights then be done.
Top 10:
sans remembering saves cause, imagine this, right? You do a SECOND genocide run right, reload your save file that is in the ruins, walk out of the ruins. What happens? Sans is there, sees you, and proceeds to obliterate you. And imagine how awkward it'd be to do a pacifist run AFTER a genocide run.
Flowey messed with the corpses of the kids Asgore and the others killed to gather what determination they had left.
Dr. Gaster is part wingdings and part aster because wingdings are silly like papyrus, and aster is serious like Sans. Not even Toby Fox would make sense of that, but at least the rest of the left brain - right brain theory has some evidence, if matpat's knowledge of brains is even credible i never did well enough at biology maybe i should
Chara is a villain
toriel is frisk
Sans is chara
That Sans doesn’t care about Papyrus or anyone
Um did we play the same Genocide route? Cuz he clearly does care…
Gas pipe theory
Both sans and flowey knows about the resets but flowey doesn't know it's a videogame, but sans knows it's a videogame
This is all just wrong, expect for the reset ones are backwards, the reset ones are mostly correct, the last one is just backwards, yes both remember about resets, but it’s flowey how knows it’s a game, while sans doesn’t know it is a game, it technically depends on the route, how is the strongest, but usually its flowey how’s the strongest, and besides that, all of them are wrong.
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I may have scraped my knee falling for you...
How dare be so charming, I am warning you!
I may be demi, but with words you have a way.
Quickly turns me to mush, this is not okay!
Do you have a library card?
(This is not a joke, don't play hard)
Cause I am checking you out!
Wish that this between us,
will not be for naught!
We share a bond,
Probably one no one expects.
Be my partner in crime,
main murder suspects!
I play innocent,
yet my darkness you know.
I'll get drunk on your scent!
Not even for show.
Lick your way down your throat.
Like a chocolate bunny,
I'll start with the ears.
Save you for later, that's funny.
Ache for me for years.
Don't worry, Mommy's coming,
Give me that Vitamin D.
From me there's no running,
Ruined you'll be!
Let's be cursed together...
Even tho my blog's been PG.
Let's vore LuLu...
This is my dowry for you!
<333
(you better marry me you lil bastard or I will eat you too)
(legit smiling) (I love writing poetry) (also I made it interactive, do recommend sound on.)
((Also turning this into our vows))
When you scrape your knees, I'll be there to bandage and kiss your contusion.
Darling of mine, let there be no confusion.
I adore your poetry,
And I'd love your hand in matrimony!
Let us read books into the morning,
The bed, the pool, the couch...
Late night, warm firelight,
Fuzzy blanket, cheese banquet,
Bundled snuggles, shared struggles.
Pull me into a hug,
And never let go.
Devotion is a hell of a drug,
Nay, this inhibition could cure our lonely woes.
I'd take the fall,
And do the time.
I'd answer your phone call,
And bring you soup with thyme.
Drink your vibes up,
A soothing herbal tea,
Akin to an exotic home remedy.
I'd start with the slow steep,
Then the French press.
No need for honey,
You're too sweet for me.
You're dependable, never expendable,
Let's take multivitamins and long walks.
We can be vulnerable
But I'll protect us from hater flocks.
Cursed forever, though you my blessing...
I'd give you the last of my salad dressing.
Join can the crew
These are my vows to you.
(Love you babe.) (Writing this for you was the highlight of my day.)
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