#also the most introverted hermit you ever met

[cod-dump]

Ghost 99.9% of the time: Don’t fucking touch me. I’ll cut anyone who even thinks of brushing shoulders with me! I don’t care if it was a accident!

Ghost at the most random, unpredictable times (usually only around core 141 members): I demand attention. I need a hug. If you fucks don’t drop whatever the fuck you’re doing to pay attention to me then I will turn this into the most unproductive week of your lives

[starryknight-tarot]

𝓦𝓱𝓪𝓽 𝔀𝓲𝓵𝓵 𝔂𝓸𝓾𝓻 𝓯𝓾𝓽𝓾𝓻𝓮 𝓼𝓹𝓸𝓾𝓼𝓮 𝓵𝓸𝓿𝓮 𝓪𝓫𝓸𝓾𝓽 𝔂𝓸𝓾?

pile 1 -- > pile 2

pile 3 -- > pile 4

my masterlist<3 . paid readings

Hi! I'm Star⭐️ This is my first tarot reading on here so please be nice and let me know if the message resonates with you. Remember to take what resonates and leave what doesn't. If you have a hard time picking a pile, try meditating on it and pick the card that calls to you the most.

Pile 1

Cards: King of Pentacles, Two of Swords, Queen of Swords rx, Ace of Wands, Three of Pentacles rx, The World rx, Seven of Swords, The Sun

Back of the deck: The Hermit rx

I am getting that your future spouse will love your extroverted nature. If you aren't an extrovert, I feel like you might be the kinda of introvert that really opens up to the people that you are close to. I am getting that your fs loves how you can light up any room you walk in. Your fs adores your smile, they see it as brightest most beautiful smile ever. I am getting the thought that you are the sun to this person's moon. Pile 1 you are so cute! Your fs sees you as innocent and adorable. Your fs thinks you look like a cute bunny with the energy of a hyperactive puppy. Your fs loves how independent and strong you are. I feel like your fs knows they can rely on you. You know how to deal with haters and know when to walk away from bad situations and your fs really admires that about you. Like I am getting the imagery of you girl bossing (regardless of your gender, anyone can girl boss lol) and your fs watching in awe with hearts in their eyes. Your fs loves how you seem fearless and strong. I am getting that you have an addicting or unique laugh which gives your fs serious butterflies. I feel like your fs is a very reserved or shy person and it can be hard for them to express themselves but they feel like they can be themselves around and act more free and silly. You might also be shorter then them and they really like the height difference. Your fs also loves how determined you are to make your dreams a reality. You could be an artist just trying to make a career in something more creative. Your fs is your biggest fan and love watching you succeed in your goals and dreams. I am getting that you haven't met your fs yet or they love how you are always ready to try something new and introduce them to new things.

Advice cards:

The universe supports your stance and decision

Bring something new into your life

The key is the application, Practice!

Reflect on your blessings

It is time to take appropriate action

Practice the pause

Channeled Songs:

Pile 2

Cards: Seven of wands, Nine of Cups rx, Six of Pentacles rx, Strength, Three of Cups rx, The Moon, The High Priestess, Temperance

Back of the deck: Page of Wands rx

Your fs is absolutely enchanted by you. I am getting the phrase I've got you under my spell. You make your fs nervous in the best way possible. Just shuffling the cards I could feel how your fs's heart races as you make eye contact with them. I feel like you have dreamy but sharp eyes. I am getting if looks could kill lol. You have a very mysterious aura that people just wanna get to know. You could be a witch or like to wear dark clothes. Your fs loves how classy and clean you look. I just heard they like the way you smell haha. You might have a resting bitch face. Similar to Pile 1, I feel like your future spouse will love how independent you are but unlike pile 1 you give off more of a lone wolf vibe. Pile 2 your fs is an absolute simp. I am just seeing them drooling over you and willing to do anything you ask. Gosh darn it Pile 2 your fs sees you as sexy af. I keep hearing step on me lmao. Your fs doesn't just love your looks, they also find your mind very sexy. You are very intelligent and wise and your fs loves to listen to you speak your mind and talk about your interests. They love to see the passion in your eyes as you do the things you like to do and put your all into your work. Your fs loves when you can be vulnerable with them and share your struggles with them cause all they wanna do is help you. Their love language is most likely acts of service. Your fs loves your unwavering confidence in everything you do and the mystery of never knowing what's next with you.

Advice cards:

Put your tasks and goals in order

The conditions are primed. Yes it can happen and if you believe, it will!

Release all attachments that don't serve you

Get clear about what you want

Your acts of love, kindness, and unlimited forgiveness bestow grace upon you

Align your body, mind, and spirit with your heart

Channeled Songs:

Pile 3

Cards: Knight of Wands rx, Page of Pentacles, Seven of Cups, Ten of Wands, The Sun, Five of Cups, Eight of Swords rx, Knight of Pentacles rx

Back of the deck: Ace of Pentacles

Your fs loves how hardworking you are. They admire sparkle in your aura as you put your all into what you are passionate about. I am getting that they love watching you believe in yourself and push to achieve your goals. It's giving the energy of someone that has their whole future planned out in front of them. I heard you are the person of my dreams. You are the Amy Santiago to this person's Jake Peralta (some of you may be Brooklyn 99 fans). I am getting that your fs just loves being in your presence. Your fs loves your sense of humor and they feel like they could joke around with you for hours. Your fs loves how free you are. They aren't the kinda of person to hold you down and prevent you from doing what you are passionate about. Your fs love the way you communicate and express yourself. I am getting that your fs may have been raised in an environment where the communication was really unhealthy and hard to speak your mind. I feel like you will help them learn what healthy communication is and they are really thankful to have you in their life. Your fs will love the quality time that they spend with you just being yourselves. I feel like your fs may like to slow dance with and feel close to you. You look like you came out of a victorian painting to you fs. They see you as very angelic. I keep seeing rosy cheeks so you could have very rosy cheeks or they just can't help but blush in your presence. I am getting that they can see themselves starting a family with you. They can see you growing old together. Overall, your fs love your partner in crime dynamic and love how you are their other half.

Advice cards:

Hold your life from a sacred viewpoint, Witness the universal picture

Get clear about what you want

It is important to understand and value your own energy

Give yourself your own approval

Create a plan and take the first step

No better time to exists than right now

Spend some time in stillness to reflect

Channeled Songs:

Pile 4

Cards: Six of Wands, Four of Swords rx, Ace of Pentacles, Six of Pentacles rx, Ten of Cups, Three of Swords rx, The Hermit rx, King of Cups

Back of the deck: Queen of Swords

I am getting soulmate vibes for this pile. Your fs feels like they won the lottery getting you. They love how you live rent free in their head. This person may have dreams about you or even have daydreams of you before they even meet you. I feel like your fs may have had a crush on you for a while now. You could have gone to school with them. Your fs loves that you are very eye-catching. They love your fashion. Kinda random but I am getting some of you might be associated with jazz. Some of you may smoke which isn't for everyone but if you do they find it very attractive. Your fs wants to be your knight. You might like to play video games and your fs loves to play with you and get lost in the game for hours. You are the Zelda to their Link. Your fs loves to prove their love for you everyday in the small things they do for you. I feel like your person may have been through a lot of heartbreak but you taught them what real love is and could feel as the more time they spent with you, the more their heart started to mend together again. They feel like they were born to love (ugh so cute). I heard my heart belongs to you and time stops when I am with you. Oh my gosh pile 4 your fs is such a poet. They might write songs about how they feel about you and it is all they cutest cheesy lyrics you have ever read and love it cause you know all of their words comes straight from their heart. Your fs loves how you open up to them and be yourself around them.

Advice cards:

You can if you think and believe you can

In harmony your inner self, you are free to do or be whatever you choose

You may need to take a break from the situation or simply take a rest

You are greater than your story

Pay attention to your breathing, It is reflecting your life

Look closely at what is going on around you

Channeled Songs:

Thank you for tuning in ₊‧.°.⋆🫧•˚₊‧⋆.

[c0rps3partybrainr0t]

Corpse Party: Restitched AU

Yuka Mochida!

I gave myself some rules for this AU as to not mess with the story too much- just to kinda Un-Ick the characters a bit. Basically they keep a good amount of their traits just making them more I guess.. 3d? Idk I tried my best.

More indepth rambling under the cut

Yuka Mochida

Design Notes

-Did research on Junior Highschool attire for Japan, The dress she wears normally is actually meant for Elementary. So I switched it out, I decided to steal the neck shoulder thing from her Rebuilt Design, it's kinda like some weird amalgamation of the normal Sailor suit thing.

-Since she has gone home already, you would think she would have gotten a jacket or something to bring the umbrella right? Decided that the Jacket was a gift from Satoshi, it's Merch from "Bad Evil Bunny" and has a Decal on the back.

-They rabbit on her headband is also a merch piece from "Bad Evil Bunny". Satsuki has a matching Patch that's on her uniform skirt!

Personality Notes

-Yuka Though being 14 has a more childish air to her. She often takes a liking to things that are geared towards younger children. Stuffed animals, toys, cartoons/anime. Often waking up early in the morning on weekends to catch an episode of pokemon or Tokyo mew mew while eating breakfast.

-She takes a liking to Stationary, More cutesy items like Pusheen and pokemon pens, pencils, notebooks, sticky notes, and pencases.

-She is introverted like straight up "Fuck new people", For like the first semester of Middle school people thought she was Mute because she never talked to anyone, that was till Her and Satsuki met and bonded over a shared interest of "Bad Evil Bunny". If you where to ask anyone else, they would say Yuka was an absolute Hermit but Satsuki would say otherwise. She'd say she would be the most energetic person ever.

-She has an horrible fear of Larger dogs, she can deal with smaller breeds such as the Shiba Inu but anything bigger and she'll be avoiding it like the plague.

-She really likes oversized and baggy clothing, her uniform is a bit larger so it can hang over her hands. Has a tendency to steal Satoshi's hoodie's or jackets sometimes because of that.

-She is the type of student that is always either sleeping, doodling, or daydreaming during class and somehow still has straight As

Relationship notes

Satoshi: Older brother! And older brother only- she loves him a lot but often gets annoyed when he forgets things and she has to bring it to him. She often refers to him as Toshi or Shi-Shi when they are at home.

Naomi: Sees her as an Older sister since she's been around since Yuka was born. Much like Satoshi, Naomi has a nickname as well. Usually it's Mimi. Yuka may or may not use Naomi as a way to get sweets every now and again whenever she can't get Satoshi to get her any.

Satsuki: BFF in and out of school, often drags Satsuki along to hang out with her and Satoshi's Freinds. She questions where the fuck she keeps her infinite supply of Potato chips.

Seiko: Finds her weird with some of the stuff she dose to Naomi and Satoshi, but when it's just Yuka and her they have a pretty nice time since Sekio's Mother hen instincts kick in.

Kishinuma: They bicker alot- like their love language towards each other is just pure aggression, they throw snide remarks at each other 24/7. But when it comes down to it Kishinuma would put his life on the line for Yuka

Mayu: Became real good Freinds after learning of their shared love of cutesy things, They trade Pokemon cards togeather and have so cosplayed togeather

Morishige: He creeps her out, more so because of his blank stare and indifferent personality to anyone that isn't Mayu.

Ayumi: Finds her kinda scary, she's sat in on some of her scary stories and they are usually too much for her. She dose like her candles though.

Ms. Yui: has only really met her once or twice so there is no real connection until the prank they played on Satoshi n Co at the begining of corpse party

[lavienjin]

get to know me 💌

tagged by so many lovely pals thank you for thinking of me!!! @kithtaehyung @sunflwrxclouds @xjoonchildx @lovelytaes-blog

tagging: @writtenwhalien @pjmsdior @hobipaint @sunshinekims @yeoldontknow @sugaurora @sugasbabiie @jikookiekosmos @trustingofwinds and anyone else that would like to play along pls!

when is your birthday?

july 14th!

what is your favorite color?

grey and yellow!

what's your lucky number?

my family has a specific lucky number and it's 899!

do you have any pets?

nope and probs never will. i am not a successful adult! i don't eat vegetables and or take care of myself (name the quote and i will hold ur hand)

how tall are you?

170 cm!

how many pairs of shoes do you own?

a total of 6! two sneakers, a pair of sandals, two going out, and one office pair

favorite song?

i'll follow you into the dark (death cab by cutie)! if we're talking bts it has to be spring day!

favorite movie?

i don't like watching movies :C secret life of arietty & the cat returns is up there tho (studio ghibli!)

what would be your ideal partner?

i'm stealing ryen's answer: "kim seokjin".

do you want children?

nope im good :)

have you gotten in trouble with the law?

yes!

what color socks are you wearing?

i don't wear socks unless i'm going out

bath or shower?

shower. i don't like baths :C

favorite type of music?

indie! but i listen to a lot of classical music/piano renditions of bts/pop songs when i write

how many pillows do you sleep with?

1 + RJ

which position do you sleep in?

on me side, curled up like a cooked shrimp

what don't you like when you're sleeping?

heat T_T i don't like it when it's too hot!

what do you have for breakfast?

eggs and avocado toast! this was my breakfast almost every day. when i'm feeling fancy, i sprinkle everything bagel seasoning and oof delicious <3

have you ever tried archery?

YES! i enjoyed it a lot!!!

favorite fruit?

peaches! *cue jk singing* i got my peaches out in georgia

favorite swear word?

fuck me, cunt.

do you have any scars?

yep C: they're battle scars to remind me that i'm alive!

are you a good liar?

i'm good at acting. but i don't think i lie very well!

what's your personality type?

INFP-A :3

what's your favorite type of girl?

mean women that can kill me with one look

left or right handed?

both!

favorite food?

kbbq. marinated beef + rice + lettuce wrap + other vegetables? akfjsldjf my dream

are you clean or messy?

organized messy. i know where things are - they're just not super neat

favorite foreign food?

martabak (i mean it's foreign for most people) but probably sushi!

how long does it take for you to get ready?

give me half an hour and im' ready for met gala

most used phrase?

i had to ask a pal for help. here are my moonie-isms™:

one (1) ___ | e.g. you had one (1) job

oh, that fucks

the most beautiful thing about advice is you take it with a grain of salt

[strangely aggressive but positive message here]

emojis: >:C O:< C: :3

are you a good singer?

i don't think so! but i'm good at harmonizing :3

do you sing to yourself?

yus!

biggest fear?

spiders. it's the fact that my happiness could be ripped away at any moment because time is fleeting and just because i'm happy now doesn't mean i'm happy in the future and i'm afraid of that lmfao

do you like long or short hair?

for meself? short.

are you into gossips?

no :C but i will listen to you if you need to vent!

extrovert or introvert?

introvert to a damned fault

favorite school subject?

english!

what makes you nervous?

pretty people + crowds

who was your first real crush?

robin from teen titans + prince zuko with long hair lkdjflkjsdl

how many piercings do you have?

just me earholes

how fast can you run?

*taehyung voice* not...

what makes you angry?

inconsiderate people! >:C

do you like your own name?

yas!! my name is jade moon. you can say that i rock.

what are your weaknesses?

i always want to know what i can improve on instead of perfecting what i'm already good at! also i am a big hermit.

what are your strengths?

i think im pretty charismatic and can talk to virtually anyone! plus i'd like to think i'm a v good active listener!

what is the color of your bedspread?

it's gay today :) aka rainbows

color of your room?

beige :C

thanks for reading this far!! i hope you had a grand time reading about little ole me!

[youcanhavemybuckanyday]

Answer all of them. 1-170. have fun.

HELL YES LETS GOOOOOOOO

1: How tall or short do you wish you were? 

5′2″. Exactly how tall I am now. I like being short.

2: What’s your dream pet? (Real or not)

I’ve always wanted a ferret. They can weed out people for me. If a person says “Ew, it’s a rat” then they ain’t worth my time.

 3: Do you have a favorite clothing style? 

Whatever’s on sale. Preferably baggy and comfortable

4: What was your favorite video game growing up? 

Always has been and always will be the Nancy Drew computer games. I’m obsessed. There are 32 games (we don’t talk about number 33), and I’ve played each one dozens of times.

5: What three things/people do you think of most each day: 

My laptop, my dog, my tumblr account

6: If you had a warning label, what would yours say? 

Warning: Prone to spontaneous breakdowns, both physically and mentally.

7: What is your opinion on [insert person/thing here]? 

Honest opinion on @Elizard-Hamilton, the person who sent this ask: They’re super sweet and kind, and probably the first reciprocal tumblr friendship I’ve ever had.

8: What is your Greek personality type? [Sanguine, Phlegmatic, Choleric, or Melancholic] 

Don’t know what that is, too drunk to figure it out right now.

9: Are you ticklish? 

God yes. But I retaliate. If you tickle me, you will die.

10: Are you allergic to anything? 

No, that’s the one medical thing that I don’t have.

11: What’s your sexuality? 

Hetero-Demi Sexual. So I like men, but I’m only sexually attracted to them if we’ve been close for a long time.

12: Do you prefer tea, coffee, or cocoa? 

Cocoa, always. Specifically, Tim Hortons Hot Chocolate. Medium, 2 creams.

13: Are you a cat or dog person? 

Dog. Always.

14: Would you rather be a vampire, elf, or merperson? 

I answered this one already, definitely merperson.

15: Do you have a favorite Youtuber? 

Nope.

16: How tall are you? 

See above.

17: If you had to change your name, what would you change it to? 

I’d just add an L to my name. New name, pronounced the same.

18: How much do you weigh? [Only ask this if you know the user doesn’t mind!] 

Right now, 126 lbs. But I should be 110. I just got off a medication that made me gain 40 pounds practically overnight. I went from 100 pounds to 140 pounds. I’m slowing losing the weight.

19: Do you believe in ghosts/spirits? 

Not in the traditional sense, but I do believe there are things about the departed we don’t yet understand. Kind of like way back when they though lightning was a supernatural event, until they found a scientific explanation for it. I think there’s stuff we just haven’t discovered yet.

20: Do you like space or the ocean more? 

Ocean.

21: Are you religious? 

Nope, athiest.

22: Pet peeves? 

Idk, I can’t think of any right now.

23: Would you rather be nocturnal or diurnal [opposite of nocturnal]? 

Wtf I don’t know? Who cares? I’d rather be whatever koalas are. They sleep 22 hours a day.

24: Favorite constellation? 

The only one I can think of right now is big dipper. That makes it my favourite and also my least favourite constellation.

25: Favorite star? 

See question 24, but North Star.

26: Do you like ball-jointed dolls? 

I don’t know what that is? Do you mean like Barbie? I litterally watching Barbie Nutcracker right now, lol.

27: Any phobias or fears? 

Spiders.

28: Do you think global warming is real? 

Duh.

29: Do you believe in reincarnation? 

No.

30: Favorite movie? 

Does Hamilton count? If yes, that. If not, Knives Out. I’m a sucker for a good murder mystery.

31: Do you get scared easily? 

Yes.

32: How many pets have you own in your lifetime? 

Oh god. Idk. You’re going to make me do math on vacation. Lets see. 3 Dogs, 2 Cats, ungodly numbers of fish, 2 rats, 5 hermit crabs, 3 hamsters, probably others I can’t remember.

33: Blog rate? [You’ll rate the blog of the one who’s asking.] 

@elizard-hamilton 10/10. 5 stars. Thumbs up. Gold Star.

34: What is a color that calms you? 

Royal Purple. I used to have a bedroom where everything was royal purple. The walls, the furniture, the bedding, the accessories. Everything. It was a great time in my life, so the colour makes me think of good times.

35: Where would you like to travel and/or live? 

I’d love to go to Belgium. My grandmother was born there, and we still have family over there that I’ve never met.

36: Where were you born? 

London Ontario

37: What is your eye color? 

Hazel

38: Introvert or extrovert? 

Introvert

39: Do you believe in horoscopes and zodiacs? 

Not at all

40: Hugs or kisses? 

None of the above. I have Asperger's, I don’t like to be touched.

41: Who is someone you would like to see/visit right now? 

I’d love to see my BFF from high school again. Haven’t talked to her since we graduated. Rachel, if you’re out there, I miss you.

42: Who is someone you love deeply? 

My parents.

43: Any piercings you want? 

None.

44: Do you like tattoos and piercings? 

Nope. I don’t have anything against them, they’re just not for me. If you have them, I won’t think any less of you. There’s nothing wrong with them.

45: Do you smoke or have you eiver done so? 

Nope. I’ve already got really shitty lungs (I have Cystic Fibrosis), I’d rather not make them worse than they already are.

46: Talk about your crush, if you have one! 

Oh gosh, he’s cute, funny, talented, a great singer, a great writer, he wrote a hit broadway musical... oh, he doesn’t count? Then no, no one right now.

47: What is a sound you really hate? 

Styrofoam rubbing against more styrofoam.

48: A sound you really love? 

The notification sound tumblr makes when I get something in my inbox

49: Can you do a backflip? 

HA no.

50: Can you do the splits? 

HA HA no.

51: Favorite actor and/or actress? 

Do I even need to answer this? I’m going to anyway. It’s..... drumroll........ Danny Devito! Lol, no, it’s Lin Manuel-Miranda

52: Favorite movie? 

This is the same as question 30.

53: How are you feeling right now? 

Drunk. Next question.

54: What color would you like your hair to be right now? 

Purple. I used to have purple hair. Then I got older and got a real job and I’m not allowed to die my hair anymore.

55: When did you feel happiest? 

At 16, with my purple hair and purple bedroom and my bff in like grade 11

56: Something that calms you down? 

Hamilton

57: Have any mental disorders? [Only ask this if you know the user doesn’t mind!] 

Asperger’s, Depression, situational anxiety.

58: What does your URL mean? 

Every time is Hamiltime. Because it’s always time for Hamilton.

59: What three words describe you the most? 

Bizarre, confrontational, idk. Is there a word that means unwilling to put up with anyone’s bullshit? Because if so, then that.

60: Do you believe in evolution? 

Yes. Evolution is a fact, it’s been proven. So this question should not say do you believe in evolution, it should say do you accept evolution.

61: What makes you unfollow a blog? 

If they start posting stuff i disagree with, or if they totally veer into a new fandom I’m not interested in. I’ve lost so many good blogs to kpop.

62: What makes you follow a blog? 

Idk, I like their stuff?

63: Favorite kind of person: 

Kind people.

64: Favorite animal(s): 

Pug.

65: Name three of your favorite blogs. 

I’m not going to start naming friends, cause I’ve got way more than three and I know I’m going to forget someone, so here’s 3 random blogs I enjoy: gmoringgnight, tinywhim, torsnavi

66: Favorite emoticon: 

I’m on my laptop, i don’t have emoticons right now, but probably the one where he’s crying laughing

67: Favorite meme: 

All of them. I love all the memes.

68: What is your MBTI personality type? 

I’m too drunk to remember right now, ask me tomorrow.

69: What is your star sign? 

Pisces

70: Can your dog roll over on command, if you have a dog? 

He cannot. He’s an idiot. But he can give you a high five, if that counts for something.

71: What outfit out of all your clothes do you like to wear the most? 

Leggings, T-Shirt, Hoodie. Whatever’s clean.

72: Post a selfie or two? 

No

73: Do you have platform shoes? 

No

74: What is one random but interesting fact about yourself? 

I can solve a rubik’s cube

75: Can you do a front flip? 

LOL NO

76: Do you like birds? 

To look at, not to own or touch

77: Do you like to swim? 

Very much. In the water, it’s the one place my back doesn’t hurt.

78: Is swimming or ice skating more fun to you? 

Swimming. I don’t skate. I know, oh wow, a Canadian who can’t skate. Sue me.

79: Something you wish didn’t exist: 

Trump.

80: Some thing you wish did exist: 

Alex Clairmont-Diaz

81: Piercings you have? 

My ears are pierced.

82: Something you really enjoy doing: 

Reading

83: Favorite person to talk to: 

My mom

84: What was your first impression of Tumblr? 

Amazing, finally a place I can be as weird as I want and it’s totally anonymous.

85: How many followers do you have? 

I have no idea.

86: Can you run a mile within ten minutes? 

HA no

87: Do your socks always match? 

Yes

88: Can you touch your toes and keep your legs straight completely? 

When I was 14, they did a surgery where they put metal rods in my spine to keep it from growing crooked. My spine doesn’t bend at all. So I’ve never tried to touch my toes, but I’m going to go with no, I can’t.

89: What are your birthstones? 

I think Aquamarine? I don’t remember.

90: If you were an animal, which one would you be? 

Koala. They sleep 22 hours a day.

91: If a flower could aesthetically represent you, what kind would it be? 

I can’t think of any flowers right now beyond rose and tulip, and neither represent me. Is there a flower that’s really ugly? If so, that.

92: A store you hate? 

Gap. I despise that store with every escence of my being.

93: How many cups of coffee can you drink in one day? 

None. It tastes like manure.

94: Would you rather be able to fly or read minds? 

Ooh, fly. No more wheelchair.

95: Do you like to wear camo? 

I don’t think i particularly like or dislike it. I just don’t wear it.

96: Winter or summer? 

SUMMER ALL THE TIME

97: How long can you hold your breath for? 

Not long at all. See explanation above, r.e. Cystic Fibrosis

98: Least favorite person? 

Trump

99: Someone you look up to: 

My mom

100: A store you love? 

Hot Topic. Yes, I’m basic like that. 

101: Favorite type of shoes 

Flats, cause I don’t have to attempt to bend over to put them on.

102: Where do you live? 

Hamilton, Ontario, Canada. Yes, I’m serious.

103: Are you a vegetarian or vegan? If so, why? 

Nope.

104: What is your favorite mineral or gem? 

Wtf? Are people supposed to have a favourite mineral or gem?

105: Do you drink milk? 

No

106: Do you like bugs? 

No

107: Do you like spiders? 

NO

108: Something you get paranoid about? 

If I remembered to turn off my computer before I go to bed.

109: Can you draw: 

Nope

110: Nosiest question you have ever been asked? 

On a daily basis, people ask me why I use my scooter or my wheelchair. Every day. Not so much during the pandemic, but yeah.

111: A question you hate being asked? 

“When are you going to get a boyfriend?” “When are you going to settle down?” 

112: Ever been bitten by a spider? 

NOPE

113: Do you like the sound of waves at the beach? 

Who doesn’t?

114: Do you prefer cloudy or sunny days? 

Cloudy, cause then I can stay indoors guilt-free

115: Someone you’d like to kiss or cuddle right now: 

My dog. But he’s with my sister.

116: Favorite cloud type: 

???? Is this something I’m supposed to have an opinion on?????

117: What color do you wish the sky was? 

???? IDGAF ??????

118: Do you have freckles? 

No

119: Favorite thing about a person: 

Their laugh

120: Fruits or vegetables? 

Fruit

121: Something you want to do right now: 

Get another drink, but that’s probs not a great idea

122: Is the ocean or sky prettier? 

Ocean

123: Sweet or sour foods? 

Sweet

124: Bright or dim lights? 

Dim

125: Do you believe in a certain magical creature? 

No

126: Something you hate about Tumblr: 

I can’t reblog ads. Some of those ads are really, REALLY funny.

127: Something you love about Tumblr: 

Completely anonymous. I could be anyone. For all you know, I’m actually Mike Pence. (I promise I’m not)

128: What do you think about the least? 

Idk? There’s probably lots of stuff I’ve never thought about at all

129: What would you want written on your tombstone? 

Nothing, but I want there to be a little machine on top that looks like a parking meter, and when you put money in it you get wifi for an hour.

130: Who would you like to punch in the face right now? 

Trump, most of the politicians in the states. I want to go to New York, and I can’t because y’all can’t get your shit together and kick this virus.

131: What is something you love but also hate about yourself? 

My face. Not going to elaborate.

132: Do you smile with your teeth showing for pictures?

Yes, but only because I get yelled at if I don’t.

133: Computer or TV? 

Computer.

134: Do you like roller coasters? 

I used to. Then the back surgery and now I can’t anymore.

135: Do you get motion sickness or seasickness? 

Motion sickness no, seasickness yes.

136: Are your ears lobed or attached? 

Lobed.

137: Do you believe in karma? 

I believe that what you do will eventually come back to bite you in the ass, but I don’t believe in some cosmic force that balances the scales.

138: On a scale of 1-10, how attractive would you say you are? 

0. Not going to elaborate.

139: What nicknames do you have/have had? 

None. My name has always been Adele. The few people who tried to give me nicknames got shot down real quick.

140: Did you have any pretend or imaginary friends? 

When I was little, yeah

141: Have you ever seen a therapist/shrink? 

Yes ma’am. For over a decade.

142: Would you say you are a good or bad influence to others? 

Both at different times.

143: Do you prefer giving or receiving gifts/help? 

Giving. I never know what to say when receiving.

144: What makes you angry 

A lot of things these days. Can’t think of anything specific. My sister, usually.

145: How many languages do you speak fluently? 

Two. I speak French and English.

146: Do you prefer boys, girls, and/or non-binaries? 

Boys.

147: Are you androgynous? 

Nope.

148: Favorite physical thing about yourself: 

My face. Not going to elaborate.

149: Favorite thing about your personality: 

My “take no shit” attitude.

150: Name three people you would like to talk to right now in person. 

Lin Manuel Miranda, Renee Elise Goldsberry, anyone from West Wing

151: If you could go back into time and live in one era, which would you choose? 

Revolutionary America

152: Do you like BuzzFeed? 

I’ve been known to partake.

153: How did you meet your spouse/girlfriend/boyfriend/partner? [If you have one.] 

Nope. I’m forever alone.

154: Do you like to kiss others’ foreheads or hands for platonic reasons? 

No. I have Asperger’s. No touching.

155: Do you like to play with others’ hair? 

No.

156: What embarrasses you? 

When I need to ask for help for really simple things because of my wheelchair or other disabilities. I hate it.

157: Something that makes you nervous/anxious: 

The future, for reasons way too complex to write in a tumblr post.

158: Biggest lie you have ever told: 

I convinced half my second grade class I was related to Elton John once. That was fun. They believed it for like 3 months.

159: How many people are you following? 

Hundreds.

160: How many posts do you have on your blog(s)? 

I don’t even know how I would find that out.

161: How many drafts do you have on your blog(s)? 

Right now, I have 12, but that’s because I’ve queued up the next 4 days HamiltonHungerGames. Usually, I have none. I don’t understand how people have drafts. When I feel like writing something on tumblr, I start a post, I end the post, I post it. I never use drafts

162: How many likes do you have on your blog(s)? 

??? Again, I have no idea how to find that information.

163: Last time you cried and why: 

I honestly don’t remember.

164: Do you have long or short hair? 

Usually long, but right now short. My mom decided to give me a covid haircut, and she does not understand the meaning of “Just a trim”.

165: Longest your hair has ever been: 

Down to my butt. 

166: Why do you like, dislike, or have neutral feelings about religon? 

Dislike. I’m not going to talk about it here, but if you’re really curious you can dm me.

167: Do you really care how the universe and world was created? 

Yes, because if we know where the universe and world came from, we can figure out where it’s headed. See the book Origins by Dan Brown.

168: Do you like to wear makeup? 

Not at all.

169: Can you stand on your hands or head for more than thirty seconds? 

I can barely stand on my feet for more than 30 seconds.

170: Did you answer the questions you were asked truthfully? 

Tried to.

Ok, this took me an hour and 45 minutes. I’m tired, I’m drunk, I’m going to regret this in the morning, I’m going to bed. Night y’all.

[sage-nebula]

Just some Quarantine Thoughts™ beneath the cut.

The thing that bothers me the absolute most about this situation is the fact that so many people are suffering and dying from the virus. The thing that bothers me the second most is the constant reminder that I really don’t belong or “fit in” in this world and probably never will.

You see, I don’t get lonely. That’s a really simplified way of putting it, but what I mean is that I don’t need in-person social contact in order to not feel lonely. I never have. Any “loneliness” or upset I’ve ever felt at, say, not sitting with others at lunch, has more to do with social anxiety over others judging me for that fact than how I actually feel. I’m actually happiest when I’m alone, just me and my dog, with friends that I can talk with through the internet. I don’t do very well with roommates---in my entire life there’s only one other person I’ve ever actually enjoyed living with, and that relationship ended badly as it is (though for other reasons, but still)---and I don’t like “going out” and “doing things” unless I’m in Japan, which 99.9% of the time, I’m not.

So for me, being told “stay inside your house and do not leave except in emergencies” is something that makes me thrilled beyond belief. I make jokes that I’m a hermit, but they’re not really jokes, because outside of the religious aspect (which is a very outdated and archaic part of the definition anyway) it’s true. I fit perfectly into cryptid culture, to the point where my neighbors have literally told me that they find me fascinating because I never leave my house except to take my dog outside. I don’t want to be out, mingling among other people. I’d much rather be in my cozy living room, in loungewear, playing a video game or chatting online. That’s my happy place.

The thing is . . . I’m in the vast minority when it comes to that. Most people crave social interaction and want to be out and about, doing things. And I know that, I’ve always known that. Most of the world is diurnal and social (even the introverted ones often have social thresholds that need to be met, unlike me), and I’m nocturnal and introverted to the point of resembling an asocial cryptid. I know this. I’ve known it for a long time. You don’t live for thirty years without picking up on that, no matter how obtuse you are.

But . . .

There’s a difference between knowing something, and having it constantly flashed in your face like a neon light on a strobe setting. Within two weeks of the quarantine people were loudly crying online about how much they hated it and wanted it to end. They couldn’t stand not being touched, they hated not being able to go out and do things and be social. They needed it because they’re human. And if anything, the amount of people crying loudly about it has only increased as time has gone on. So what started as a few two weeks in has now magnified to a point where it’s assumed that you, like everyone, must hate this quarantine and must absolutely be going crazy from boredom and loneliness and isolation.

And this is bothersome because one, it assumes that literally everyone is in the same boat, “humans are social creatures” and all that (so, I guess I’m not human, which I mean, whatever, but still), but also two, it’s like . . . I’ve lived thirty years in a diurnal, social society without kicking up much fuss about it beyond hating myself for not being able to function. I’ve lived thirty years having to go out each and every day to go to school or work (or sometimes both), being so drained by the time I reach the weekend that I sleep through most Saturdays and spend Sundays desperately trying to recoup energy so that I can get through another week. And yet, despite this, I haven’t bitched continuously to anyone who will listen about how torturous it is, how awful it is, and I CERTAINLY have never protested it even though I know that it would inconvenience the masses at best and cause people to die at worst. I just dealt with it because, you know, that’s what you do when you’re the unlucky bitch with a nocturnal circadian rhythm and a very low tolerance threshold for social interaction.

But like I said, like two weeks into this everyone was kicking up a fucking fit, talking about how horrible it was. And this was everywhere. And yeah, it has a bigger impact than if I did the same about being a nocturnal recluse because I’m one person versus millions, but at the same time it’s like . . . it’s like if you went to the movies with your friends, right, and each of them picked a three hour war epic that you didn’t like, but sat through quietly. Then it finally gets to your pick, which is a 90 minute animated film, and they sat and bitched about it the ENTIRE TIME. You’re not asking them to like it, but to maybe whine and moan a little less so you’re not reminded how vividly and drastically different you are from them, how you absolutely do not fit the mold of what a “normal human” is for whatever reason, but they can’t even give you that courtesy because everyone around agrees that they are absolutely right to cry loudly about how much they’re suffering. That’s what it feels like.

There’s no real point to this point. I just felt like venting a little because, with social distancing guidelines and lockdowns and whatnot, for the first time in thirty years it felt like the world---at least where I live---was a bit more like how I would like it to be, all the time, minus the people suffering and dying from the virus, of course. Like in my perfect world, people would always stand six feet apart out in public locations. Staying at home all the time wouldn’t be seen as abnormal, but as a decent thing to reduce crowds outside. Being able to work from home full time would be the norm instead of the exception (next week is probably the last week I’ll be allowed to do it and I’m already crying on the inside). But it’s like every time I go on twitter or whatever I’m violently reminded that a world that works best for me is one that everyone else hates so much they can’t go five minutes without expressing it, and in some cases they act like it’d be worse than actually, you know, contracting and dying from the virus. I know I’m whining myself at this point, but I haven’t been to a therapist in a long time (like a year or more?) so at this point this is the most I can do to get these feelings out.

Tl;dr:

What’s up, I’m Scrawlers, 30, and I’m a cryptid who might as well be an alien at this point.

Do not reblog please and thank you, I’ll just delete it if you do.

[haledamage]

Kira Grace Kingston

female, she/her

5'6”, slender build

shoulder-length, straight dark-brown hair

pale, lightly freckled skin

light brown eyes

bisexual (though I play her in-game as straight because I just really connected with the all-male Unit Bravo for some reason)

Taurus, born 28 April 1992; 25 at the beginning of Book 1, turns 26 between Book 1 and 2

left-handed

Romance: all of them, I’m using the same Detective for all routes

(infodump about her under the cut, for my own purposes mostly but also for anyone interested)

--Was inspired to become a cop to help people after having one help her when she really, really needed it. Wanted to pay it forward, so to speak.

--Kira is a natural leader and very good at deduction and problem solving (it’s her second highest stat, after people/psychology). She would have likely gone out for detective soon anyway, but didn’t think she was ready or old enough to be in charge of the whole station yet and was surprised when the promotion came. The rest of the station had been secretly considering her their boss for years before Detective Reele retired, but Kira somehow has no idea.

--Totally shot Adam. Feels really bad about it but would never tell him that.

--Will drink tea or coffee, but prefers tea. Her favorites are cinnamon tea and masala chai. If she’s drinking coffee, she prefers the sugary, flavored, Starbucks-like variety, but will sometimes drink it black just to unnerve people (people mostly being Tina).

--Doesn’t wear much make-up, but likes to paint her nails. Usually black or some other dark color, a “layover from her misspent youth.”

--Wears contacts. Has gold-framed glasses that she wears when she has to, but hates them. She’s farsighted, so if for some reason she can’t wear her contacts, she only puts on the glasses for reading.

--Plays guitar and lap steel guitar. Prefers to play blues music, but can play just about any genre. A pretty good singer, but very shy about it. Probably only Rebecca and Tina have ever heard her sing as far as she knows. (she sings to herself at her desk sometimes, but doesn’t realize it. All of UB have probably noticed; Felix definitely has, and is likely waiting for a good opportunity to tease her about it)

--She’s always been very close with Rebecca. They’re both rather independent-minded, so she didn’t mind her mother’s absences so much. Mum was always there when she needed her, and always willing to listen, and that’s what mattered. Now that she knows what she does, Kira is sure that she’s called her mother while she was on a mission before, but Rebecca still always answered, and that fact makes her respect and admire her mum even more.

--Lost a bet to Verda in regards to The Reveal. Verda had said the Murphy case and its oddities were supernatural in nature, Kira said it was science experiments gone awry. Technically, they were both right, but Verda was more right. Kira looks forward to one day being able to tell him, even if she’ll be out £50 for it.

--The only reason Kira isn’t some reclusive hermit is because of Tina Poname. Tina and Kira met when they were both in a very low place, and have lifted each other up and helped put each other back on their feet. Their friendship is very important to Kira, and the fact that she can’t tell Tina that the Hot Secret Agents they’re working with are Hot Secret Agent Vampires is the hardest part of The Reveal. She’s not used to keeping secrets from Tina.

--Tina and Kira have a monthly movie night. One of them picks the movie and the other picks the food, then they swap the next month. It’s more like an adult slumber party than anything else, really, lots of wine and gossip and venting if need be. It’s a tradition going back years now and neither would miss it for the world.

--Is very good with people, it’s her highest stat, but doesn’t actually enjoy being around them much. Very much an introvert, prefers silence and solitude or the company of close friends only. She works very hard to be as approachable as she is.

--Curses like a sailor. Poor Nate.

--Loves to read. Anything and everything. You put a book in front of her and she’ll read it. Mysteries are a favorite.

--Her favorite color is wintergreen like Adam’s eyes.

--Apartment style would be somewhere between cosy and dark. Kind of a Spooky Grandma’s House vibe. Lush fabrics and textures, soft sofas and chairs, but subdued colors. Black, gray, navy blue, with pale blue and wintergreen accents. Artwork is mostly made by locals or by friends from university. Bookshelves nearly overflowing. Apartment is kept clean, but always looks a bit cluttered.

--Preferred clothing style is casual but professional. Jeans, most often paired with a t-shirt or button-up shirt. Mostly long sleeves, but with the sleeves pushed up to her elbows. Usually black, sometimes white or gray, very, very rarely dark green or dark blue. Black leather jacket when it’s cold. Almost always wears black boots; she paid more for those boots than she did for her car (but that says more for how little she paid for the car than how expensive her boots actually are).

--Speaks seven languages. English, Sign Language, Spanish, French, German, Welsh, and, because someone dared her to at university, Sindarin Elvish. With the exception of the elvish, she learned most of them out of necessity or exposure.

--English literature major. Doesn’t serve much in her job, but she’s still proud of it.

--Very shy when it comes to flirting. She hates it about herself. She’s very confident and self-assured in almost every other situation, but if someone starts showing the slightest bit of genuine interest in her she flusters very easily.

--Dated Bobby in year one at university for a couple months. With him in journalism and her in English lit, they had a lot of class overlap early on, and he was familiar and clearly interested and that was enough, for a while. She regrets that she fell so easily for his flirting and has resolved since to not be such an “easy mark” in the future. Hasn’t dated anyone since and hasn’t wanted to (until UB barge into her office, obviously). Kind of hates him, but would never let him know that; she is, instead, very meticulously polite to him, never any more or less.

--At the beginning of Book 1, she has 4 tattoos. Gets a 5th one during the 2 months between Book 1 and Book 2.      -a small, stylized crown on her right wrist (Rebecca has a matching one that she hides under her watch band at work) because Kingston     -bars of music wrapped around her right bicep (watercolour-style effect behind it - the music is Tom Petty’s “Won’t Back Down”)     -a quote on the inside of her left bicep (“I have love in me the likes of which you can scarcely imagine and rage the likes of which you would not believe. If I cannot satisfy the one, I will indulge the other.”― Mary Shelley, Frankenstein)     -a large full-color floral piece from her left hip almost to her knee (forget-me-nots for her father, lupines for her mother, lavender roses and verbena for herself)     -new tattoo is a simple, black crescent moon on the back of her neck to symbolize a new beginning (keeps it hidden under her hair most of the time, especially at work).

--Preferred method of working out is rock climbing/wall climbing. Has some combat training, mostly just from the police academy, but she tries to attend aikido lessons when she has time. She likes that it lets her defend herself without being stronger than her opponent, especially now that she deals with the supernatural so much.

--Kira didn’t realize how attached she’d grown to Unit Bravo until the attack on her apartment. She wanted to stay to help her team; on every route, she has to be dragged away in order to get her to leave. Completely, 100% ride or die for all of them.

Kira is my only Detective and I’m using her in all four routes (sorry, folks, I can’t do the Love Triangle. I tried, but I can’t, it already hurts and I’m not strong enough). It’s been very interesting, since she has the same personality no matter what, to see in what ways she connects with each member of Unit Bravo, and the slight changes in her personality stats based on how she responds to romance-specific scenes.

Adam: arguably my “canon” romance for her, though I legitimately and completely love all of them. On his route, her stats skew a little more toward Stubborn and Impulsive because she’s spiteful and he’s kind of an ass, especially to start with. 

They’re both headstrong and natural leaders, so they butt heads a lot in terms of authority. She doesn’t like that Adam tries to order her around, he doesn’t like that she refuses to listen to orders sometimes out of spite. But when they actually try to get along, they agree more often than not and could probably make an amazing team given time. 

She’s completely, head-over-heels in love with him, but she hasn’t figured it out yet, though she knows she feels something for him. He makes her feel safe, which is how she knows that she’s in deep. 

On Adam’s route, Nate is Kira’s best friend. Poor guy’s gonna be stuck between the immovable object and the unstoppable force for 7 fucking books.

Nate: On Nate’s route, Kira’s stats tend more toward Cautious, and also a bit more Heart on the Heart/Mind scale. 

Of all of them, Nate would be the one Kira would be most surprised to find herself falling for. She’s not much of a romantic, generally, but she’s also never had anyone look at her like Nate does, or treat her like she’s something precious and important. She feels completely off balance with him and has no idea how to react. She has never been so overwhelmed with a desire to kiss someone before. 

Personality-wise, they have a lot in common, both are good with people, compassionate, linguistically talented, and avid readers; to anyone except Kira, them getting together makes perfect sense. He probably doesn’t like how stubborn and foul-mouthed she is, but between Adam and Mason, he’s used to dealing with it. 

On Nate’s route, Mason is Kira’s best friend. No one is more surprised about that than they are, and they aren’t really sure how that happened.

Felix: On Felix’s route, Kira skews more toward Easygoing and Impulsive. 

In a word, Felix helps Kira relax. She’s a bit of a workaholic and he brings her out of her shell and reminds her that she’s more than just Detective Kingston. It’s refreshing and overwhelming. Romance with Felix is easy. 

He’s the only one where she doesn’t end up 100% shy because, even though she still gets horribly flustered by him, he doesn’t make her as tongue-tied as the others do. Maybe it’s because he’s so much less intense than the others, but also she kind of feels like she’s always known him. 

She wants to show him the world, all the little things about being human that she’s always taken for granted but he never had in Echo World. Paper airplanes and creepy travelling carnivals and movie theater popcorn and photo booths and everything. They’ll be good for each other, but them joining forces is probably very bad for everyone else. 

On Felix’s route, Nate is Kira’s best friend. Unlike with Adam, he isn’t so much trapped between two opposing forces as he is an exhausted parent trying to corral overly-curious children.

Mason: On Mason’s route, Kira’s stats tend even more toward Genuine than they do on other routes, as well as Stubborn. 

On the surface Mason and Kira probably don’t look like they’d work, but really I think they’re the pairing that makes the most sense. Mason doesn’t drain her social batteries as much as the others, even at the beginning when he’s as hostile toward her as possible. They both enjoy the quiet, and that’s where the first romantic feelings from her would form, in the calm and silent comfort she feels with him. 

But obviously, it doesn’t start romantic even a little bit. At the beginning, she’s neither intimidated nor put off by his sharp, brusque personality, and she’s very flustered and intimidated by his intense manner of flirting, though she’s not really put off by it either. She doesn’t know how to respond to it (though he clearly enjoys how she reacts), but he makes her feel desired in a way she never has before. There’s a certain comfort to knowing that he only wants her physically, that he’s straightforward in his interests. 

I imagine that she figures out she’s falling for him after he does something small that should be innocuous, some little off-hand affection that he didn’t even think about and she just goes “oh shit, I’m in love with Mason.” 

On Mason’s route, Felix is Kira’s best friend. He definitely sees them falling for each other long before they see it and does everything he can to get them to stop being idiots and realize that they’re in love.

[welcome-to-chao-hub]

Tagged by: @marshalia13-muses (I’M WAY BEHIND, I NEED TO WORK ON SOME OF THESE TAG GAMES I’M SORRY)

Tagging: @mobian-of-science @mercenaries-for-hire​ @feline-fisherman @chateaudcoolette and honestly anyone else who wants to do it! If you don’t wanna do it, that’s also a-ok!

LAYER ONE: THE OUTSIDE

Name: Elias Acorn (he’s the current main muse atm...until I start playing Shadow the Hedgehog again)

Eye color: blue

Hair style/color: auburn, bangs frame his face (possible faux-hawk? I’m not sure what to call his style when he’s acting part of the Secret Freedom Fighters)

Height: 3′3

Clothing style: turtle necks or his royal attire (he is a king (kinda sorta what timeline are we in?))

Best physical feature: his smile

LAYER TWO: THE INSIDE

Fears: being rejected/abandoned, losing more of his family (the guy has been hopped around different families as a kid (Acorns for like 2-3 years to the Echidnas for at least ten or so and then got shoved to his last foster family until his debut in the Knuckles comics where he was then sent back to the Acorns),  explain how he hasn’t gotten a fear of someone leaving him)

Guilty pleasure: I suppose listening to bands like Rhapsody of Fire. ...look, my parents aren’t really fans so I kinda think of it as a guilty pleasure

Biggest pet peeve: I...hate when people touch my clothes. 

Ambitions for the future: Kicking Naugus off the throne (or at least reuniting the kingdom because again, which timeline are we in?)

LAYER THREE: THOUGHTS

First thoughts upon waking up: Is the kingdom on fire again?

What you think about the most: Problems in the Kingdom/Republic

What you think before bed: Did I forget something in that last meeting??

What your best quality is: Strategic planning

LAYER FOUR: WHAT’S BETTER?

Single or group dates: Single (he’s a bit of an introvert)

To be loved or respected: Respected

Beauty or brains: Brains. Though he’ll admit that with his wife, it was love at first sight until they both got to know each other better

Dogs or cats: Dogs

LAYER FIVE: DO YOU…

Lie: He...kinda does considering I don’t think Meg knew he was the prince when they first met. ...I think. ...need to work on that fanfic

Believe in yourself: Eeeeeh yes and no

Believe in love: Yes

Want someone: He’s already married (but I’m kinda ok with multishipping/poly. Just kinda depends on the character)

LAYER SIX: EVER BEEN…

Been on stage: Probably, he’s a freaking king.

Done drugs: No

Changed who you were to fit in: Probably because let’s face it he was initially not used to running a kingdom

LAYER SEVEN: FAVORITES

Favorite color: Blue

Favorite animal: Flickies

Favorite movie: Comedies (or Disney)

Favorite game: Risk

LAYER EIGHT: AGE

Day your next birthday will be: October 15th 

How old will you be: 22 (Mostly going off by the wiki that says that he’s currently 21)

Age you lost your virginity: I refuse to answer this question

Does age matter: ??? I feel like age does matter??? -confused squirrel noises he’s too tired for this-

LAYER NINE: IN PERSON

Best personality: Kind-hearted (though others might say it’s my temper)

Best eye color: green

Best hair color: brown

Best thing to do with your partner: Spending time, mostly cuddling

LAYER TEN: FINISH THE SENTENCE

I love: my friends

I feel: frustrated and angry over everything that’s happened to the Republic.

I hide: my past from others. It’s hard to go into the details so I just say ‘raised on Angel Island with the Colonel and his wife’. Kinda promised I wouldn’t tell who raised me before the Colonel found me. ....yeah that worked out great considering we had to collect my mother after Geoffrey found out about me existing and then go back to the surface

I miss: my friends that I made on Angel Island. ....what, I grew up with friends! I wasn’t just a freaking hermit until Geoffrey came along

I wish: I could’ve left for adventures with Meg and Alexis...I’ve gotten used to being a ruler, but I still wish I could still go and explore the land with my family without worrying about someone after us because I’m the king...no titles, no special treatments, just...us and the open road.

[azenta]

Why is it "not for nothing ESxPs and ExFJs are uncommonly 5 or 9"? And why is SO/SX uncommon for 9s?

The reason why ExFJs and ESxPs are uncommonly, and even unusually, 5s or 9s is because their entire cognitive process clashes with those core goals. I’d precise it would be uncommon to almost rare for them to be 9s, but unusual to almost doubtful if they claim to be 5s (even if not impossible either).

Core 5 and 9 are far more passive in their approach in contrast to ExFJs and ESxPs process. All their defense mechanisms also revolve around the worst cognitive tendencies both ExFJs and ESxPs can have. In fact, the core would always work against the healthy development of their cognitive process, like if it was almost a constant disintegration.

ExFJs

ExFJs process revolves around playing with interpretative rules (unwritten moral and ethical rules) so they can organize rapidly the environment (Fe) around what is best fitting according to what realistically works best or what would be the ideal best (Si or Ni), then see what is going around and see how it comes off or can possibly come off in the present moments (Ne or Se) to ultimately judge of the logicality and long term consistency of their approach and rectify momentarily and accordingly (Ti). They do so by being present into their environment and act on it. Therefore they are pretty active, even ENFJs thanks to Tert Se, and also controlling in a certain (unconscious) way. They want to define rapidly the “rules” and boundaries of the environment, for themselves and also “others” (IVs dependent), so they’ll also develop strategies that help them be the most efficient possible, to reach best fit conclusion(s) and simply help them apply those rules and boundaries.

ExFJs × Core 5

Their process asks them to interact with mostly people and to exercise a form of control upon the “people settings”. Therefore it highly clashes with the 5’s priorities which is about mental work to gather knowledge and expertise, and to keep a certain form of control but about their inner guidance vs the external influences (IVs dependent).

The only common point is both ExFJs and 5s seek control, but ExFJs seek to control the environment and by acting on it momentarily and 5s also seek control of and on themselves, their mind, to avoid being controlled by the environment. However, they do so very differently. 5s become expert of certain knowledges (many or particular knowledge => High Pi vs High Pe) to keep control by being competent and therefore independent of the environment. Therefore, 5s are inherently more passive in their way of doing things since they require the acquisition of “intellectual��� knowledges. In contrast, ExFJs act first and then through their Pi guide Fe. A passive approach is therefore unlikely favorable for them, they need strategies that make them act on the external information, not their own mental world (1). 5s also desire to keep themselves in their mind as they want to avoid being confronted to their inner doubt which would be triggered by powerlessness resulting from a lack of competency/expertise. Thus, acting on the external environment is their last “step” to assure their competency and “control”. In other words, acting on the external world is not their priority at all, but their final goal like ExFJs ultimately aim to actualise Ti. Being exposed continually to the external world would be highly stressful and even unhealthy to 5s as it wouldn’t give them a frame to work on their ego patterns as they would continually be stuck into a mental loophole. They ultimately need to affirm themselves into the world (integration to 8), but like ExFJs through the development of Fe-Pi, then Pe and ultimately Ti, they also need to develop through their force (5s=> introspection, inner working, contemplation, mastering, etc.) to grow out of their patterns and become affirmative and active in the environment.

When ExFJs get into a consistent hermit mode or are always in their mind, constantly digging and nit picking information; it is when they either grip or have poor Ni. A core 5 would solicit at an (unhealthy) extreme ExFJs introverted functions, since to gather knowledge and master it like 5 cores do require a great amount of time in one’s mind or mental inner place. But ExFJs are still fundamentally extroverted in their primary approach, and their introverted process are mainly supports to their main approach rather than the default one, while it is the contrary for 5s. It would constantly pushes toward an unbalance.  In the end, an ExFJ developing security issues is way more likely to become a 6 or 7 because both either aim to construct a social environment they can rely on, which is Fe’s playground, or to continually focus on external factors and manipulate (aka control) those factors to always gain a sense of fun, pleasure and simply experiences. Both 6 and 7 approach fits more easily and healthily with ExFJs process than 5 ever will.

(1) Side Note: In comparison, INFJs are more often 5s because their approach is firstly to build an inner vision which require an immense gathering of information that is (and need to be) filtered progressively and slowly (Ni dom). They need time. ExFJs also need time to build their Pi efficiently, but since their Pe is higher and favored, they build their Pi way more quickly, and it is way more adaptable, and therefore they require way less time into their mind to attain what they desire. Also, ExFJs Pi is about supporting with a vision to attain Fe efficiency in the most conclusive way rather than building up an ideal unforeseen vision and then judge of it from general and shared rules like INFJs.

ExFJs × Core 9

On the other hand, ExFJs and core 9 are not as weird but still not the most likely “outcome” if the person happened to be an ExFJs. However, there are more similarities than with core 5.

What makes that combination unlikely is because 9s wants to be almost “non existent”, in the sense they don’t want to get implicated in anything to stay “independent” and free of any possible demand. They don’t want to get stuck into negotiations, because they don’t want to feel any needs to not lose their sense of autonomy. But ExFJs process asks to get involved with what is around in order to organize the environment the most efficiently possible, which involves to be at some point an actor in the environment to organize it as “it should be” (Si/Ni). Or simply put, it asks to give a shit about what’s going on, which 9s despise. Therefore, it clashes with 9s desire to not get involved in the world and ExFJs desire to actually get involved in the world.

The default 9’s approach (average) demand a form of constant “mind freezing” or never be in or even out of themselves, when ExFJs get into that kind of mindset it is when they Loop or even grip. Therefore, this core approach is likely to maintain unbalance extreme. However, in contrast to 5 core’s approach, 9s process still allow to go in either the extroverted or introverted processes, which allow more easily to balance out and so to have decent opportunities to develop properly.

Where they are alike is that ExFJs “efficiency” rely on a sense of “harmony”, or at least of compromising. Their process is made to grasp easily what will benefit at large the party(/ies) involved, or to judge of what is shared at large. 9s focus on harmony and “compromise” (2) as a way to tone down any demands (so they can keep themselves detached from the world). Therefore, 9s heavily rely on being mediator, on getting good at assessing a situation so they can resolve any conflict (aka demands that clash with each other). It is as a way to be sure nothing force them out of their independence; thus also so nothing ever become out of control. ExFJs process fit that way of finding the best fit ethical solution and by assuring a form of control upon the situation at hand.

(2) Precisions: 9s sense of compromise is highly dependent of their level of health. Compromise can rather mean to agree obediently just so people stfu and everything returns in “peace”. And “Peace” rather meaning to allow them to return in their state of denial of their own wants and needs to maintain their twisted sense of independence (aka detachment at this point). Of course, when healthier, it becomes “compromising” as they regain their true sense of self and come to understand independence is not related to detachment, but rather ask to acknowledge one’s needs => so they can answer those needs => then be truly independent since they are met => allowing balance and peace within the world (inner and outer).

ESxPs

ESxPs process goal is to gather as much possible information about everything going around in the present moment (Se), judge of it by their principled and logical formed framework of the world (Ti or Fi), then adapt it by judging through shared values or principles (Fe or Te) to better compromise their personal approach, to finally form the ideal vision or most likely outcome that can be brought from the momentary data (Ni).

ESxPs × Core 5

To have known ESxPs in my life, I can tell you the first thing they do is act. They move, they react, they just do. If they don’t, they are probably unhealthy. Of course, healthy ESxPs know to reflect before acting, however they are still very active people. They’ll simply be more aware of the consequences of their actions and be better in touch with how they want their actions to affect the world. So, 5s way of wanting to gather knowledge and contemplate it to master it share almost no similarities with the main process of ESxPs. One acts while the other contemplate.

Se dominance demands to explore the world, and contrary to Ne, it demands contact with the concrete aspect of it. 5s way is anything but about the concrete world, it is all about playing with those information within the mind. As 5s want to retreat from the world, not get exposed to it. They are insecure about the world and master many forms of knowledge as a way to “fight” the world or prove their worth, their competency through it (IVs dependent). Therefore, each other's goals become a nuisance to the other’s goal.

It is more realistic for ESxPs to become 6 and 7 due to their approach than a 5. An ESxPs 5 would probably be of the most unbalance kind and probably stuck with some form of Personality disorder as a 5 core would continually solicit grips and block healthy Se dom development and therefore all the stack’s development. It would always drag down the ESxP in a low health range.

ESxPs × Core 9

Again, core 9 is less unlikely than a core 5, but still not the most likely outcome if an ESxP gets stuck with a self needs and boundary problem.

They do have in common a sense of not desiring control on the environment, at least, not directly. ESxPs want to observe the world and “play” with it through what makes sense and matters to them. So it is not their main goal to modify it to their will, but their initial goal is rather for them to adapt in the world in a way that makes sense to them. This goal aligns with 9s desire to adapt themselves to other/world’s demand and wants.

Their directions of growth also both relies in a need to assert themselves into the world (people around them included) by understanding they can and need to play with the external rules of the “world” so they can better fit within it, or at least, can make place to what makes sense to them.

However, what fits the most are the loop and grip tendency of ESxPs with 9s unhealthy tendency or disintegration. Which say a lot with how this combo can be developmentally impairing. The loop of ESxPs fit with the 9s flaw of denying themselves, what matters to them, as ESxPs loop disconnect them to everything they inherently value. But also, like 9s who may not notice how they unconsciously detach to accommodate their own ego needs for independence, and therefore become selfish, apathetic and uncaring, so don’t ESxPs notice how their loop is also connected with their poor Ji development. It makes the Ji become generalized blindly, making their personal framework and rules generalized to the world around and then lead the ESxP to condemn other who don’t follow those personal rules through their Tert Je. In other words, it also makes ESxPs become very selfish.

What makes it so uncommon, even rare is that despite Se x Ji’s way of being more adaptive than controlling, the Ji is still about making decisions, and through its principles it eventually comes to want and try to shape the world through the Tert Je, and even inf Ni. Unless the ESxP is perpetually looping, an healthy to even average ESxP won’t let other tarnish their own colors (/logic or principles) and even try to influence the world and shape it through its own color, which 9s completely avoid and won’t admit until they attain important growth. Simply put, ESxPs are still very concerned about their internal rules, and even through looping, their “colors” somehow pop out even more forcefully while 9s somehow disintegrate into pure nothingness. It is only with very specific circumstances and timing that 9s unhealthy mechanisms or disintegration and ESxPs looping fit perfectly. And when it does, it is so hellish that it could impair the development of the individual for so long it might just suggest another core or cognitive stack.

So, simply put, there is a synchronicity between the ESxPs stack and 9s process, however this synchronicity gets lost through the development and simply need for the Je. which is the natural and healthy course of ESxPs development. And since Tertiary functions are always (overly) focused and almost gladly welcomed in one’s development, it makes little sense to actually go for the 9 approach as the Je will be almost embraced. What I mean is, ESxPs will like to bend general rules (Te like or Fe like) by playing with them just so their personal rules are applied and respected. They rather want other to submit to their rules than them to a general consensus. They only get slave of the general rules when they get unhealthy and deny their personal framework, which is a loop or even grip tendency. Therefore, having a core approach which implies forgetting their own needs, their personal compass is like preventing ESxPs from developing anything of their cognitive process literally. 9 as a disintegration for ESxPs makes perfect sense, but as a default approach, it contradicts the fundamental of even average ESxPs process.

This is why it is rare and questionable. I can’t say impossible, but I would have serious doubts if I’d cross such a type. It would most likely be a disintegrating ESxP 3, or maybe any other MBTI type lost in delusions (which is pretty common among this hell site).

SO/sx and core 9

The only reason why it is “uncommon” rather than common is because SO/sx is an instinct that pushes toward extroversion a lot, but 9s want to almost be “non existent” or make themselves the least “present” possible. And extroversion kinda push towards being very active and present into the environment you are, so it clashes with the 9s desire to “not be” an entity and individual of their own.

But I say uncommon rather than rare or unusual because 9s want at some point to merge and almost melt with others as they flee their own needs, and by being “one with others” they achieve that avoidance, and Sp blind instincts are by far the instincts that need and somehow melt with others the most as a way to respond to survival needs. So, it complements really well the 9s goal to become a part of everything and everyone without them needing “to be”, without them being an obstacle (aka potential to create conflict) due to their own personal individual needs.

I hope it answers your question. Don’t hesitate to ask for clarifications or ask for any other question. 

[formerlyjannafaye]

100 Questions

I was tagged by @janes-mike and @el-and-hop and @caseyk112 like 100 years ago and I just finished it now! Oops.

1. What is your nickname? Janaynay, Fayzers, Jan

2. How old are you? 31

3. What is your birth month? February

4. What is your zodiac sign? Aquarius

5. What is your favorite color? Rainbow

6. What’s your lucky number? 2

7. Do you have any pets? not at the moment

8. Where are you from? Canada

9. How tall are you? 5′4

10. What shoe size are you? 8

11. How many pairs of shoes do you own? this is so embarassing, I probably own like 35 pairs of shoes (but in my defense, we experience extremes in all 4 seasons during the year) and I am a shoe addict.

12. Are you random? sometimes? but not really.

13. Last person you texted? my dad

14. Are you psychic in any way? i feel like i am really good at reading people and i have a really good memory when it comes to people so maybe a little?

15. Last TV show watched? New Girl

16. Favorite movie? Hard question! ET, Get Over It, Moulin Rouge

17. Favorite show from your childhood? Mr. Dressup!

18. Do you want children? I have one! I’d like one more, I think.

19. Do you want a church wedding? I had one.

20. What is your religion? I am a Christian, which I almost hate to say because Christians are represented so badly today and I am ashamed of this group so often. To clarify, I think Jesus is the bomb and so I try to emulate how he treated people. I’m also a feminist, pro marriage equality, pro choice, pro creation care/caring for the environment, I believe in science, I don’t believe in hell, and I hate violence. So...do with all that what you will.

21. Have you ever been to the hospital? Yes, I go there a lot with my work.

22. Have you ever got in trouble with the law? I literally sweat when a cop car passes me and I’m a goody two shoes, so no! Haha

23. How is life? Its alright. I am really tired today which always affects my mood negatively. And I just watched Infinity War last night so I’m depressed, y’all. (edit: can you tell I started this over a week ago LOL)

24. Baths or showers? Showers (you could not pay me to get into a bath! germs!)

25. What color socks are you wearing? none, its too warm out

26. Have you ever been famous? Once I met the guy who won Canadian Idol and my local grocery store put up a picture of us together in the store and had it up for years. Haha! 

27. Would you like to be a big celebrity? I used to really want to be famous, but celebs get a horrible deal these days. They have no privacy and our world thinks they owe us everything and really they owe us nothing so I would never ever want to be famous. I like being able to look like crap daily and not have it in magazines.

28. What type of music do you like? I like a wide variety of music, the only music I don’t like, really, is misogynistic rap and country. I am a choral and accapella music nerd, I love it so much.

29. Have you ever been skinny dipping? Yup.

30. How many pillows do you sleep with? Two.

31. What position do you usually sleep in? On my side with my top leg thrown over so I’m in a weird stomach/side position but its sooo comfy.

32. How big is your house? Its a good size! Big enough for us and then to host people that come to visit us and our yard is huge!

33. What do you typically have for breakfast? I suck at breakfast...toast or a granola bar.

34. Have you ever left the country? I have been to Germany, South Africa, Cuba, Costa Rica and the USA.

35. Have you ever tried archery? Many years ago at summer camp.

36. Do you like anyone? Well I’m married, so yes.

37. Favorite swear word? Shit. It is sooo satisfying to say.

38. When do you fall asleep? WAY too late every night. Between midnight and 2 am.

39. Do you have any scars? Yeah I have some from when I had the chickenpox as a kid and had no self control and scratched them off.

40. Sexual orientation? Straight.

41. Are you a good liar? I think I am a horrible liar, because I value authenticity so much and lying makes me anxious.

42. What languages would you like to learn? I would love to learn Spanish since its so beautiful. Really I just would love to not only speak English!

43. Top 10 songs? Oh my! What a question! Imma be safe and just say the top 10 songs I am listening to most often right now: Fall in Line by Christina Aguilera ft Demi Levato, Don’t Go Breaking My Heart by BSB, Lost in Japan by Shawn Mendes, Bittersweet Symphony cover by Boyce Avenue, Love You Long Time by Pentatonix, Dive by Ed Sheeran, Nancy Mulligan by Ed Sheeran, New Rules cover by Pentatonix, Casanova by Allie X, Gravity by Sara Bareilles.

44. Do you like your country? I do! I am mad at our leader rn, and appalled that Ontario elected a Donald Trump wannabe as a premier (like WHY HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING ONTARIO PERSONS UGH) but overall I love being Canadian.

45. Do you have friends from the web? Yes! Its the best!

46. What is your personality type? I am an ESFP, an extrovert with introvert tendancies, and I am an enneagram 4 (seriously, google it. That is me to a T).

47. Hogwarts House? Hufflepuff 4 LYFE

48. Can you curl your tongue? Yes.

49. Pick one fictional character you can relate to? I am Anne from Anne of Green Gables, just not as smart. Just as dramatic and short tempered, though.

50. Left or right handed? Right

51. Are you scared of spiders? I don’t like them or want them near me.

52. Favorite food? Chocolate. Chips and Dip. Dill pickles.

53. Favorite foreign food? I love Mexican food so much I can’t even pick one thing. Also naan bread is the BOMB especially when dipped into dal makhani. Uuuuuuugggghh I wanna eat that so bad rn.

54. Are you a clean or messy person? I am pretty clean, messiness makes me crazy.

55. If you could switch your gender for a day, what would you do? Pee standing up, see what its like to not have to deal with bathroom lines, street harassment, etc.

56. What color underwear? Grey.

57. How long does it take for you to get ready? 20 mins, but usually longer because I don’t like to be rushed so I take my time.

58. Do you have much of an ego? I don’t think so? I’m a walking pile of insecurities.

59. Do you suck or bite lollipops? I used to bite them but I have TMJ and my jaw is a piece of garbage that cannot withstand biting anything hard without popping all out of place and pain. Fun times.

60. Do you talk to yourself? Yup.

61. Do you sing to yourself? CONSTANTLY.

62. Are you a good singer? I have a pretty decent voice.

63. Biggest Fears? Losing people I love, dying, clowns, bats, cockroaches

64. Are you a gossip? I like being in the know but I don’t like pettiness. That said I sometimes find I have to focus REALLY hard to bite my tongue.

65. Are you a grammar nazi? Absolutely.

66. Do you have long or short hair? Its too long! I need a haircut.

67. Can you name all 50 states of America? Maybe? I might forget a few. The real question is can any of my American friends name the Canadian provinces (the CAN equivalent of states? I DOUBT IT yet we learn the states in school. SMH)

68. Favorite school subject? English and French

69. Extrovert or Introvert? Intoverted extrovert

70. Have you ever been scuba diving? Nope and I don’t plan on it.

71. What makes you nervous? Rooms full of people that don’t like me, small spaces, driving in winter.

72. Are you scared of the dark? Less than I used to be, but I don’t like it.

73. Do you correct people when they make mistakes? I do daily but thats because I have a toddler and teaching/correction is important in some moments. But you also have to let them fail which is challenging to do.

74. Are you ticklish? Nope. Only my sister can tickle me and its so annoying when she does!

75. Have you ever started a rumor? Not that I can recall?

76. Have you ever been out of your home country? Yeah a few times

77. Have you ever drank underage? I don’t think so, I was 18 by the time I drank anything, I think.

78. Have you ever done drugs? No drugs scare the living crap out of me.

79. What do you fantasize about? Having more time to myself, living alone like a hermit and not having to work, having perfect hair every day, having another kid, living somewhere warm, saying snarky things to my MIL’s face.

80. How many piercings do you have? None.

81. Can you roll your R’s? Yes.

82. How fast can you type? Fast-ish if I’m on a roll but I don’t use the proper hand technique. I get by though.

83. How fast can you run? Run? Moi? HAHAHAHA

84. What color is your hair? Ash brown with a faded rainbow in the back.

85. What color are your eyes? Green.

86. What are you allergic to? Winter mold. Spring is the worst. And I can’t go barefoot on grass unless I want to have itchy swollen feet that I want to scratch off forever.

87. Do you keep a journal? I have one that I’m supposed to write a line a day in but I am the WORST at it. Once I get behind I get so unmotivated.

88. Are you depressed about anything? I feel like I’m sleep walking through my life sometimes, and depression takes away my ability to care enough to be motivated to do anything about it. I swear apathy is the worst side effect of depression for me! 

89. Do you like your age? It is honestly the best. I love being 30! I care less about the insecurities that consumed my life in my early 20s. I have more body confidence . I’m more secure financially than I’ve been at any point in my life. And I still feel youngish. Haha.

90. What makes you angry? White privilege, misogyny, Canadian and American politics, Christian people who don’t act loving and don’t seem bothered by it, when people don’t return their shopping carts in parking lots, when people can help others but don’t, cancer, narcissists.

91. Do you like your own name? I have always loved my name. I only know one other person with my name who spells it like me!

92. Did you ever get a foreign object up your nose? Odd question, no.

93. Do you want a boy or a girl for a child? I have a boy, and if I ever get the opportunity to have another kid I kinda hope its a girl. I’m really close with my mom so I always imagined having a daughter to hopefully be close with too. My son is a mini me in every way, though.

94. What talents do you have? I have a semi-photographic memory (so helpful for studying), I learn song lyrics super fast, I can sing any song for you in the correct key it was recorded in (what would you call that? pitch memorization?)

95. Sun or moon? I love sitting in a sunbeam like a cat. But the moon is super comforting to me. Both.

96. How did you get your name? My mom wanted me to have a different name in a sea of Ashley’s and Brittany’s (I was born in the late 80s).

97. Are you religious? My faith is very important to me and relates to all areas of my life, including my job, so yes? But I don’t feel like I need to be in your face about it, that’s not my style. 

98. Have you ever been to a therapist? Yes and honestly everyone on the planet could benefit from it! Its the best!

99. Color of your bedspread? White with blue and goldish flowers on it.

100. Color of your room? Light grey.

I feel like everyone already did this but all the same I’m going to tag @earlgreyteagirl, @reddie-to-mileven-it-up, @stevemossington, @maxmayfield and here’s some people who I know already did this but I want you to see my answers haha so here goes @hannahberrie @summer-in-hawkins @jane-el-hopper @she-who-the-river-could-not-hold @thezoomermax @puzzlingsnark @fatechica @mikeweezers

[marjaystuff]

Elise Cooper Interviews Maisey Yates

The Heartbreaker of Echo Past

Confessions from the Quilting Circle

Maisey Yates

The Heartbreaker of Echo Past, coming out in June, and Confessions from the Quilting Circle, coming out in May, by Maisey Yates, are great reads. Both stories delve into family and how relationships, misunderstandings, secrets, communication, and love affect the dynamics. People must come to grips with their past.

The Heartbreaker of Echo Past is a novel where Yates has outdone herself, hitting a homerun.  It is the story of Iris Daniels and how she has come into her own.  After her parents died in a plane crash, she became the de facto mother to her sisters Rose and Pansy.  Giving up her own dreams until the sisters were grown, she has felt unappreciated and not special. But after her younger sister Rose tried to set Iris up with a nerd, she decided to make a life for her own. Wanting to set up a bakery she must convince the building landlord, Griffin Chance, to lower the rent. To do this, Iris travels to find the mountain man landlord offering to cook and clean for him in exchange for a lower rent. After weeks of seeing each other, it becomes obvious that there is a connection.  The bond that grows between them becomes a friendship that turns into a romance. Both share the grief of losing loved ones.

A bonus is the novella Solid Gold Cowboy that sees Gold Valley’s bartender, Laz Jenkins, getting his happy ever after. Laz has been in love, for years, with his best friend, Jordan, the coffee barista in the previous books of the series. After she becomes a runaway bride and accepts Laz’s invitation to stay with him sparks fly and both realize they were meant for each other.

Confessions from the Quilting Circle is based on Maisey’s own family.  It has three sisters and their mother coming to grips with their grandmother who has just died.  Each has lived most of their adult lives separate and apart from one another. Lark, the youngest, is an artist and someone who pretends to let issues roll off her; Hannah, is a concert violinist who is very sarcastic; the oldest Avery is the fixer but cannot fix her own marriage; and Mary, the sister’s mother, must come to grips with her abonnement by her mother, the girls’ grandmother. While cleaning out their late grandmother’s attic, they discover their grandmother’s fabric swatches. They decide to finish the guilt using those squares. Having turned the candy shop into a café, they meet weekly to sew the quilt, but also to share their secrets.

Both books delve into family loss, long buried secrets, and suppressed emotions. Readers will take the journey along with the characters.

Elise Cooper: Because Iris was such a beloved character did you feel any pressure in writing the story?

Maisey Yates: I wrote it before people wanted her story.  By the time Logan and Rose’s story came out I received more email about her than any other character I have ever written. I must admit, I was a little worried that readers would like the storyline.  I edited the first hero out because he was too blasé. I thought of this mysterious mountain man who was a loner.  It was a very challenging book to write because both characters had very emotional issues.

EC:  It had a lot of what you are known for, great banter, but it was more of an emotional story?

MY:  I have written over hundred romances.  I am trying to figure out how to do something a little different, while keeping the things that are essential to my romances.  But with these characters, Iris and Griffin, the story just seemed to happen.  Yes, it has a different kind of feel.

EC:  How do you write the banter? The scene where Iris tells off her sisters is hilarious!

MY:  Although I don’t have sisters, I am very close to my friends. After I met author Nicole Helm, I literally felt she was the sister I never had.  We have so much in common.  I do have a sibling and know how we can push each other.

EC: How would you describe Iris?

MY:  Everything that she loves I love including knitting, baking, and British mystery shows. She is a nurturer, homemaker, introverted, but not innocent and fragile.  She is strong, quietly determined, capable, and seems to fly under the radar. She feels second best, not appreciated, and does not feel special.

EC:  How would you describe Griffin?

MY: Broken, a disaster, a very good man.  Unlike many of my heroes he did not have a terrible childhood, but as an adult had this devastation. It stole all the hope from him.  He can be intense, a hermit, and a loner.

EC:  What about the relationship?

MY:  Iris was the one who always took care of everybody, and now is looking for an adventure, not a boring man. They were right for each other.  Both have grief and need to realize they must move on.  They would never go back to who they were before. She is the complement to who Griffin has become.  They understand each other and Iris is a good listener.

EC:  There is a very powerful quote in the book, “The hardest part is when everybody else forgot.  But we hadn’t.”

MY:  Although other people’s lives change for a while, those that experience loss have their lives change forever.  They must take the pieces of what is left and move forward. In the end, people go on with their lives. Many times, people do not know how to handle sadness.  Right now, because my mom is in hospice, I am experiencing that rush of support.  But eventually, everything will turn quiet, and that person is left with the sadness along with the reality of permanence that the person is never coming back.  

EC:  You wrote a novella Solid Gold Cowboy?  

MY: I had Jordan Whitfield as the heroine.  She was the background character in many of these books.  I made up her fiancé Dylan.  I wanted to give the bartender, Jax, his happily ever after. He knows everyone’s secrets and had to hear/see their drama.  It is about time he had some happiness.

EC:  The women’s fiction book, Confessions from the Quilting Circle, also deals with sadness?

MY:  I based it on my mother’s mom.  Her half-brother, George lost his father in Normandy during WWII.  His mother, my grandmother, never got over her first love. Although she remarried, she told my mom she was never in love with her husband, my mom’s dad.  As with the grandmother in the story, both were broken by the past.

EC:  This is a good book for Mother’s Day?

MY:  Yes, because of the relationship between mothers and daughters.  

EC:  Can you describe each sister?

MY:  On the surface they are different, yet all the sisters are running away from their life.  They were not able to share until now. The oldest, Avery, is organized, efficient, a homemaker, and a fixer.  Hannah is a concert violinist, independent, and angry at times.  Lark, the youngest, is an artist, a businesswoman, an optimist, and has a façade that issues can just roll over her.

EC:  What about their mother, Mary?

MY:  She is the most like one of my cowboy heroines.  She was raised without a mother and found a man to accept who she is.  She must face issues incrementally, handling mother abandonment while raising her own children. One of her daughter’s commented, “The same woman who was a wonderful grandmother for me…was the same woman who hurt my mother deeply and desperately.”

EC:  A powerful quote is about victimhood?

MY:  You are referring to this one, “I’m not a victim because I’m weak.  I’m a victim because a person that I trusted very much took advantage of that trust.”  Avery’s husband crosses the line.  She thinks of him as two different people. She was vulnerable because she hung on to the idea of who she thought he was.  He took advantage of her trust by selling her a bill of goods.

EC:  What role does the quilt play?

MY:  I love crafting although I knit, and do not quilt. The scope of their history is in the fabrics that they decided to make into a memory quilt.  The women’s circle allowed them to speak freely and expose their secrets.  The inspiration is how their history was women into the fabric of the book.

EC:  Can you tell us about your next books?

MY: There is going to be a third book with authors Nicole Helm, Megan Crane, and Jackie Ashenden. It is about half-sisters who start a farm store on their grandfather’s ranch.  It will be out in April 2022.

The last two books of the Daniels family are out later this year.  The first one out in October is Cousin Jake’s story and is title Rodeo Christmas At Evergreen Ranch.  Out in December will be cousin Colt and Mallory’s story.  She is the sister of Griffin. It is titled True Cowboy of Sunset Ridge.

The women’s fiction titled The Miraculous Ruby McKee will be out about this time next year.  It is about an abandoned girl who looks for answers to her past.

I am also starting a new series out in 2022 titled “The Four Corners” that is a cross over with the “Copper Ridge” series.

THANK YOU!!

[angstyshippergremlin]

Stuff-In Which I’m Not Really Okay

The saddest part about my recent break-up is that I don’t even really miss the guy. I miss the fact that  had something to fill up my evening hours, even though talking to him was taxing and I didn’t even want to be talking to him half the time. I mean, I should miss him, right? I don’t. I just feel relieved that I don’t have to deal with him anymore.

Then that leaves me feeling like a terrible, heartless person. Because he wasn’t a bad guy. He was kind and gentle. A bit too hung up on marriage and kids for my taste, and tended to over-share in a big way to the point where I felt like more like an emotional buffer than anything else, but he was a good person. And I resented him for leaning on me. But it’s not like I can’t handle helping someone and building them up on a bad day or even a series of bad days. 

Everyone has those. And I know what it’s like to have your own mind telling you that you’re a worthless piece of shit and a burden to everyone. I know what it’s like to hate yourself day in and day out because you just don’t feel good enough for anyone. I know that anxiety and fluctuating self-esteem don’t go away overnight...sometimes it never really leaves. I spent three and a half years being his friend before I even tried dating him, and I dated him for seven months. I knew going in that it was going to be a long distance relationship, since we met in college and college was two hours away from home for me. What I didn’t realize was that he was absolute shit at dealing with my emotional needs.

What no one ever talks about in relationships is that functional ones take compromise. Lots of compromise. No one person should ever get their way all the time in a relationship, because then the other person feels stifled and neglected. That’s where my relationship broke down. I gave him his way so much to the point where I felt stifled. I didn’t mind talking to him for an hour or so each night. That’s sort of what couples do. But then he started blowing up my phone, flooding my Snapchat with messages, quadruple--sometimes octuple texting me. If that didn’t work, he’d Facebook message me several times, and then he’d go to the video chat. He wanted what felt like near constant contact, and I’m not the type of person who can handle that.

I tried. I tried so fucking hard. Even when i was having my own low-energy days, I made time to talk to him. Sometimes I was distracted because I was so tired, and that made for a bad combo. My distracted mode woke up his insecurities, and I would have to spend quite some time reassuring him that I wasn’t mad at him, that I was just not feeling good. He’d apologize profusely and need more reassurance that I still liked him. I told myself that he’d had a lot of people treat him poorly and that I was being unreasonable. I have hermit tendencies. So I tried to make myself available and be supportive. Whenever he felt down because someone at work or school seemed to dislike him or he failed a licensing test (teaching license tests are nightmarishly hard here in Indiana), I was there to tell him he was wonderful and that whoever was badmouthing him could fight me. I always made it clear that my suggestions were just suggestions and he should do what he thought to be right. I didn’t want to be controlling or emotionally abusive. 

But the gates had opened. Suddenly, I was drowning in a deluge of his problems. I told myself that he was going through a stressful time and that I just needed to be patient with him. But it never stopped. Every time we talked, I spent most of the time reassuring him that he was a wonderful person and that he was going to pass those tests and that it wasn’t wrong to have hurt feelings. The problem was that it happened every night. It got to a point where talking to him was exhausting, because he seemed to have a crisis every day, and we spent fifteen minutes tops talking about my day. Part of this was because I generally live a quiet life. The rest of it was that I was always taught that what happens in the family stays in the family, and here he was telling me every dirty little detail about his family. I told myself that he was just like that and I should get used to it. But sometimes I needed a break. However, the first time I asked for a break, he immediately concluded that I was getting tired of him and was about to dump him. Some variation of the same scenario happened every time I tried to ask for more space. He would say he was sorry for bothering me, leading me to assure him that he wasn’t a bother (even though he really was sometimes), and he’d tell me he missed me and say that I was the only one he could really talk to. Sometimes he’d call and interrupt time with my friends, and if I seemed anything less than delighted to hear from him, I’d spend half an hour convincing him that, no, I wasn’t going to break up with him because he called at a bad time. 

It reached a point where I felt guilty for needing space. At the same time, I resented him for the fact that I felt guilty. I mean, he couldn’t help that people had sat on him for so long that he was only just learning it was okay to have negative emotions and express them, right? I shouldn’t be so hard on him. But the thing is, he still wanted more. Every vision of our future in his head involved me moving down near his tiny-ass town, getting married and leaving everything I’d ever known behind to have kids I’m still not sure I want. Hell, just thinking about having sex makes me cringe a little. Every time I tried to tell him I wasn’t ready to think about this stuff, he took it as a rejection of him. One night, I told him that if I still didn’t have a steady job in six months and he asked me to marry him, I’d say no because neither of us had really had a chance to live our own lives outside of our parents’ homes. He nearly had a meltdown and ended the conversation, and then we spent the next two days hashing it out, where I spent yet more time reassuring him that I wasn’t about to dump him (though it was really starting to sound tempting), and that I just wasn’t ready to marry yet. It didn’t mean never, it just meant maybe not for another year or so.

Finally, during a weekend visit, a couple weeks ago, in fact, we had several deep conversations. Conversations in which I explained to him that I cared deeply for him, but since he was an extrovert and I was an introvert, we had various needs for compromise. I explained that I liked talking to him, but the constant contact was not good for me. He told me he understood, but also said that giving me space left him feeling deprived. We also talked about how much he wanted kids, and how due to various health issues and a couple of birth defects on my end (I was born missing a lower set of ribs, and there’s something about my vertebrae that could making having children risky), it would be a while before I was ready to have kids. I had made it clear to him that while kids were not a definite ‘no’ for me, I had some reservations that I would need time to move past. I’m not even sure I want to raise kids. I’m not sure I can handle doing the things required to make a child because the thought of doing the things involved kinda makes me queasy. Once again, it became a conversation about what he wanted and how I could give it to him, with no regard for what I might want. 

He then asked why talking to him made me tired, and I tried, as gently as possible, to tell him that by my standards, he tended to overshare. I told him that there wasn’t really anything wrong about what he was doing, but admitted that at times I felt more like an emotional crutch than a partner. I explained that I’d sometimes done time as a very unwilling emotional buffer for my parents’ marriage, and that while I could handle it sometimes, I felt like he needed it more than i was comfortable with. At that point, he ended the conversation and ended the visit two days ahead of schedule. It was obvious he was upset, but he swore that he was leaving because of a possible storm. He told my dad that he just suddenly felt homesick. And that was when I had had enough. Our relationship had become all about what he wanted, with no room for what I needed. I’d spent months feeling guilty for needing space, and the minute I told him what I needed, he couldn’t handle it. I told him to call and let me know he’d gotten home safely. That night, when he called, I made it clear that I wasn’t happy with him. I would’ve been okay if he’d told me he needed space to think. What infuriated me was that he fed me some bullshit excuse about the weather when it was obvious he just hadn’t heard what he wanted me to say. I told him that the weather excuse sounded hollow, and that combined with his behavior made me feel like he was trying to manipulate me. In the end, I broke up with him.

It was hard. That conversation was terrible. He ended up crying, and I felt like the scum of the earth, hearing him break down like that. But the horrible part was that I mostly felt relief. I was relieved that it was finally over.

I’m not someone who can handle parsing out the same issue over and over and over again. I’m not someone who likes to be fed empty excuses. I’m definitely not someone who likes planning her life based entirely around what someone else wanted. By the time that last phone call happened, I’d been feeling trapped for a while. And I felt terrible for feeling that way. But I just couldn’t take it anymore. I’m sure someone will think that I’m purposely making him look bad, but this is just how I felt. I’m sure others will say I should’ve hung in there, but I felt like I was suffocating. And now I’m still left feeling like a terrible person because I couldn’t make it work. 

[deathby-discozombies]

It's not like you asked for this info, but get to know me!!!

Op: @marcymakemagic

1. What is you middle name? Shatae

2. How old are you? 29

3. When is your birthday? 2/13

4. What is your zodiac sign? Aquarius

5. What is your favorite color? Blue

6. What’s your lucky number? 7

7. Do you have any pets? A hermit crab: Mr. Krabs

8. Where are you from? Roanoke, Virginia

9. How tall are you? 5'3

10. What shoe size are you? 9.5 or 10

11. How many pairs of shoes do you own? I have no clue

12. What was your last dream about? Dead bodies in my aunt's freezer

13. What talents do you have? Sometimes I'm an amazing writer

14. Are you psychic in any way? Yes

15. Favorite song? Wild Dogs by Lil Wayne

16. Favorite movie? Good Burger lol

17. Who would be your ideal partner? @bigdiezel27

18. Do you want children? I already have kids

19. Do you want a church wedding? No

20. Are you religious? More spiritual

21. Have you ever been to the hospital? Yes

22. Have you ever got in trouble with the law? No, but almost

23. Have you ever met any celebrities? Yes actually, Corey Holcom

24. Baths or showers? Showerrrzzz

25. What color socks are you wearing? Not wearing any

26. Have you ever been famous? No

27. Would you like to be a big celebrity? I'd rather be rich

28. What type of music do you like? All kinds except country

29. Have you ever been skinny dipping? No

30. How many pillows do you sleep with? 4

31. What position do you usually sleep in? On my stomach with one leg up (ballerina pose)

32. How big is your house? Ranch style, one story with basement

33. What do you typically have for breakfast? I typically don't eat breakfast

34. Have you ever fired a gun? Yes!!

35. Have you ever tried archery? Nope

36. Favorite clean word? Dude lol

37. Favorite swear word? Fuck

38. What’s the longest you’ve ever gone without sleep? 5 days

39. Do you have any scars? Yes, a bunch

40. Have you ever had a secret admirer? Apparently so

41. Are you a good liar? Depends

42. Are you a good judge of character? Yes

43. Can you do any other accents other than your own? Yes

44. Do you have a strong accent? People tell me I do

45. What is your favorite accent? Strong southern or English/British

46. What is your personality type? I'm not sure

47. What is your most expensive piece of clothing? My bras

48. Can you curl your tongue? Yes

49. Are you an innie or an outie? Innie

50. Left or right handed? Right

51. Are you scared of spiders? Fuck yes!

52. Favorite food? Burgers!!

53. Favorite foreign food? Mexican food

54. Are you a clean or messy person? Messy

55. Most used phrased? Bruh, wtf?

56. Most used word? Fuck, shit, what or baby

57. How long does it take for you to get ready? Depends

58. Do you have much of an ego? Not really

59. Do you suck or bite lollipops? Suck

60. Do you talk to yourself? Yes, often

61. Do you sing to yourself? Yes

62. Are you a good singer? Yes, but very shy

63. Biggest Fear? Losing my mom or daughters

64. Are you a gossip? Sometimes

65. Best dramatic movie you’ve seen? Parasite

66. Do you like long or short hair? Long

67. Can you name all 50 states of America? Yes, and alphabetically

68. Favorite school subject? English

69. Extrovert or Introvert? Introvert

70. Have you ever been scuba diving? Nope

71. What makes you nervous? Lots of things: meeting new people, driving, crowds, public speaking

72. Are you scared of the dark? Yes

73. Do you correct people when they make mistakes? Sometimes

74. Are you ticklish? Yes and I hate being tickled

75. Have you ever started a rumor? Yes

76. Have you ever been in a position of authority? Yes

77. Have you ever drank underage? Yes

78. Have you ever done drugs? Only weed

79. Who was your first real crush? This dude in high school but he was a dick. I've also had secret girl crushes as well

80. How many piercings do you have? It was 5, but 3 closed

81. Can you roll your Rs?“ Yes

82. How fast can you type? I don't remember, maybe 40wpm or more

83. How fast can you run? I don't run lmao

84. What color is your hair? Fuchsia plum

85. What color is your eyes? Brown

86. What are you allergic to? Pet dander

87. Do you keep a journal? No

88. What do your parents do? My mom does hair, my dad runs away from responsibility

89. Do you like your age? No

90. What makes you angry? My kids father, liars, etc

91. Do you like your own name? No!

92. Have you already thought of baby names, and if so what are they? Yes! My daughter's names are Trinity and Mercy. If I have a son, he will be Roman

93. Do you want a boy a girl for a child? I want a son

94. What are you strengths? I'm an amazing mother

95. What are your weaknesses? I don't have confidence in myself like I should

96. How did you get your name? My mom gave it to me

97. Were your ancestors royalty? Possibly, traced my ancestors back to Nigeria

98. Do you have any scars? Yes.... didn't I already answer this?

99. Color of your bedspread? Which one? Lol

100. Color of your room? Colorful

[cumbercougars]

The LimeLight Interviews Number Two

Hello fellow Tumblrs,

Welcome to the second LimeLight Interview, and thank you for your patience. This time @glitterkitty4ever was kind enough to submit herself to my questioning on Sept 24, 2017. She is a fabulous artist who has traveled round the sun some forty times and counts ginger as one of her favorite flavours.  We met for our session on that Sunday evening and begun.

glitterkitty4ever I’m available to chat . :)

cumbercougars Cool choose a number between 1 & 30

glitterkitty4ever 10

cumbercougars 10. What makes you irrationally angry?

glitterkitty4ever When people treat really lovely people unfairly. Racism, misogyny bigotry. Bullies.

cumbercougars What is your most frivolous wish?

glitterkitty4ever Um, maybe all the desserts I could eat without gaining weight. Or, a nice cottage in the woods that’s always clean.

cumbercougars Hmmm I like both of those. What most surprises you about yourself?

glitterkitty4ever I guess I’m tougher than I thought. I have an auto immune disease and I struggle with major depressive disorder. I have days when I cry a lot. But, for my family I push through. I’m really not impressed with myself, but I am super stubborn!

cumbercougars What makes you most powerful at a given moment?

glitterkitty4ever My desire to be kind. When I choose to be kind. When someone really needs that and I can say or do something to boost them a bit, then it feels so good!

cumbercougars You are right! I never thought of it that way. (And I didn`t, this answer gave me new perspective. Sometimes it is too easy to feel like a doormat when being kind. Thank you @glitterkitty4ever for this)

cumbercougars What are you most passionate about? How do you act on that passion?

glitterkitty4ever Being creative I think. I will get out my art supplies and make some art. I love to write. I have a WIP book that’s a hot mess in it’s first draft. I have 3 unfinished fan fics and I would love to at least finish one for Sherlolly Halloween celebration. I also love to bake and when I can get my joints settled I do that. I used to want to be a pastry chef. Lol!

cumbercougars Yes your art, let’s talk about that. Is it all fan art? Or do you also create your own original art.

glitterkitty4ever It’s mixed media. I can’t draw. My daughter can draw anything. I do collage and paper piecing. I used embellishments, free for use images and decorative papers and maybe a sprinkling of glitter… :) I make altered shipping tags bookmark and small canvas collages.

cumbercougars I love collage/mixed media! I absolutely suck at it so I admire those who can handle the challenge. I hope there will be some pics you can share for this article.

cumbercougars How do you go about putting together a piece?

glitterkitty4ever Sometimes it’s a color scheme. Or an image that I like and build a theme around. I get out all my bibs and bobs and scissors and start playing around until it’s something I like. I have to practice restraint because I tend to gild the lily sometimes.

cumbercougars Do you happen to like Rococo? Never enough gilding the lily for me :)

glitterkitty4ever Yes! I love Rococo! And, Victorian Edwardian…

cumbercougars What do you think people misunderstand most about you?

glitterkitty4ever Um, I’m a bit introverted and I have anxiety issues. I’m easily hurt, so I hold myself back. I fear some people might think I’m stuck up, or not fun. But, I really do like to engage with people. I just become awkward and loose my social skills. I’m working on it, but it’s difficult.

cumbercougars I’m with you on the introversion and anxiety (plus I am a hermit at heart). What is your favorite comfort food?

glitterkitty4ever I have to go with dessert! Brownies or a pastry with a cup of Earl Grey. Tea is mandatory with or without dessert.

cumbercougars TEA!!! Totally a tea person myself.

cumbercougars What is something you would love to learn?

glitterkitty4ever I would like to learn Spanish. I would love to learn how to not be afraid of so many things. Can you learn bravery? I would love to learn how to become a fearless confident person. Wow, that got deep!

cumbercougars Actually bravery and confidence are learned behaviors/skills, so yes. They do take a lot of practice and motivation. And you start with the little things, and work your way up.

glitterkitty4ever It’s the first tiny step that’s the hardest. Lol, been there too!

cumbercougars That’s why you just do it. Don’t think about it. This is where thinking does not necessarily help.

cumbercougars What is your best practical skill? How did it become so?

glitterkitty4ever I over think everything… Oh practical? I’m torn between being able to grow anything, or cooking. I learned to cook because I wanted to be like my Grandmother. When my daughter was born it became important to me that we had healthy meals and really nice meals and treats for special occasions. I like the creative process of it. Gardening brings me peace. So, not sure if that’s as practical.

cumbercougars Ok, last question, what is your trickiest of tricks?

glitterkitty4ever Um… well, I figured out that Vitamin A capsules can be poked with a clean safety pin and the actual oil inside is the cheapest Retinol face treatment ever. Weird, I know. Um, I have premonition dreams sometimes… oh, apple cider vinegar eliminates all kinds of smells. Gosh those tricks of mine are just random and odd!

cumbercougars Those are great! Will have to try the Vitamin A and Apple Cider Vinegar ones.

cumbercougars Did you have fun? I know I did. Though I did not ask any questions about glitter. So I’m going to now. What is your glitter philosophy?

glitterkitty4ever This was fun. My glitter philosophy is add enough to catch the light and attract fairies. ♡

cumbercougars Oh I like that!

cumbercougars

And would you mind sharing a piece of artwork for this interview? as well as links to your fanfic.

glitterkitty4ever I haven’t submitted any fics yet. I can probably take some pics of some of my art stuff.

And here we have a few of glitterkitty4ever Mixed Media pieces. They are so beautiful! According to her they are easy to do, but from my perspective not so much. It takes a sense of freedom and adventure to collage and mix elements like this. This is a form of expression I admire a lot, because it scares the heck out of me. Thank you for sharing these with us.

Altered canvas shadow box shrine to Venus

Altered canvas shadow box shrine

Altered mixed media shipping tag

[giribcys-blog]

festival taeyong au!

okay so this bitchass doesn’t go to many festivals,, liKe hE waNtS to ,,,,,, but he’s brOkE aS fUck

like he’s got money,,,,,, but he’s an impulsive buyer (his clothes are proof)

tHIS MeAns he’s got a shit ton of mediocre camping equipment but he blows most of his money on festival clothes

not even nice festival clothes, like he thinks it’s “hip and trendy”,,, it’s a fashion disaster half the time but he ??always ?? works ?? it ????

and he almost always begs the other members to come along w/ him to festivals,,,,,,,, he’s an introverted mess

like he couldn't function without any of them tbh

he’s definitely the kinda “muso” and at a festival,,,, meaning he’s that one guy who’s always hyping up the lesser known bands and always talking at length about some band no one has even heard of

“okay but like ___ is so much better and the fact that they have a small fanbase makes it so much better but they’re so talented and deserve a lot of recognitio-”

he’s also the type of guy who will not go out of the tent until the first band he wants to see goes on,,, unless it’s for like bathroom trips

which is how he met you, a tired, annoyed devil, who is ready to kill someone

you guessed it you’re ready to kill taeyong,,,, the bitchass who cut in front of you in the toilet queue

and you’re like half dead, but running on 5 red bulls, 6 coffees, 8 packs of haribos and other sugar filled sweets so you didn’t really focus on the guy who rudely cut in front of you until you realise you’re almost at the front

and then suddenly,,, you’re like,, where’s the drugged up couple?????? displaying unnecessary pda?? why is this hermit looking dude here???? what????? the??? fuck????

so you tap this: lanky ass, floral clad monstrosity on the back and you’re like “i'm sorry but did no one teach you manners? why the hell are you cutting in?"

and he’s like :) sorry :) i :) didn’t :) mean :) to [he really did] :) but :) oH :) lOok :) iM :) nExT :) bYe :)

and you’re practically seething in rage because:

a) this rather ignorant and irritable dude just cut in line

b) someone with that cute of a face shouldn’t be that rude

c) someone wearing some floral “hawaiian” shirt as ugly as that shouldn’t appear so attractive and ethereal, especially in a grimy toilet queue

so being sleep deprived, grumpy, desperate for the loo aNd nOW annOYED,,,, you’re muttering “this prick is getting payback” (definitely spooking some people)

so you quickly leave the line and thanks to the experience from many pranks from the past, you manage to lock this idiot into the port-a-loo (:<<<

and that’s how the iconic loo war started

no one but you two called it that, actually no one but you two cared

buT bAcK tO tHe cAsE aT hand this loser is trying to trying to get out now but oh shit! the door won’t open!!

and by now you’ve successfully done your business and you’re waiting outside this port-a-loo to watch this hobo lookin dude struggle

and you can hear him groaning and calling out for help,,, yet,, you,, just,, stand,, there,, laughing (me too)

BUt oH nO,, he can hear you and he’s all “please help me!!!” and you’re all like “well maybe if you didn't push in front of me and act so rude you wouldn't be in this mess so suck it up” and this goes on for around 20 minutes until some brutish security man strolls up due to a complaint

and soon after assessing the situation, he realises what you’ve done and starts laughing (what a g) and he soon enough goes to help poor taeyong

however by the time he's been rescued, you’ve disappeared and he’s like “revenge will happen” but he's also lowkey lazy to do it

so you're both enjoying the festival,,,, doin festival stuff,,, sleeping

until your favourite band is about to perform and you’re absolutely excited and buzzing because it’s the first time seeing them on a “massive” stage since they normally do small club gigs so you’re “!!!!!!!”

but guess who also loves them????

not so surprisingly: taeyong

so on the way up to their set, he notices someone familiar up ahead and he’s like “toilet girl >>>>:(” and barrels towards you

and you hear fucking elephant feet stomping towards you and you glance back and you’re like “toilet boy :0000”

so you run (like sonic) away, from this crazed man, towards the crowd hoping that you can lose him

but he catches up and tackles you before you can make it into the forming crowd

leaving you both in that cliche, compromising position™

and he doesn’t really notice, and he’s going to roast you as hot as the sun but you’re just looking at him correction: admiring him 

and he’s like “listen here you bully im wasting some good quality time on insulting you that i could be using watching ________”

and then you snap out of your daze and you’re like “yeah well me too loser!! so get off me so i can look at the lomls on stage being legends!”

and he notices your compromising position (finally) and he gets all blushy and stuttery “s-sorry i d-didnt realise”

and he’s lowkey forming heart eyes for you because a) he’s realised how cute you are b) you have some impeccable music taste c) you're literally the most adorable thing ever to him

and you’re embarrassed, but pissed, so you give him evils (whilst also blushing profusely) and you’re about to shove him off but he’s a dumbass

and he can't help but just marvel at how you can look so captivating after two days living in the most awful conditions

so what does he do???

he kisses your cheek and runs off

leaving you awe struck and kinda fond for this dork that you don't even know,

that is until you get up, to fight him for kissing you and then maybe reciprocating the form of affection

— uhhhh so this is my first ever fic lmao. i’d really appreciate feedback, but yeah i hope you enjoy this, lovies 🖤🌻

[quaememinisse]

Title: At Best

Genre: Romance, Drama, Smut, Alternate Universe

Warnings: Violence

Relationship(s): Corey Taylor/OFC, OFC/OMC

Word Count: TBA

Chapters: 1/?

Summary: One fine summer, an up and coming drummer catches Corey’s eye.

Author’s note: I write shit when my boyfriend pisses me off...who actually happens to remind me of Corey :)

           A social polemic, he never acts silently, something any intellectual easily detects when listening to Mr. Taylor. Particularly when he states his opinion. Nanette stands quietly side stage and watches Corey catch a lone Nike that someone in the crowd decided to chuck at the frontman's face after he told them they weren't playing a particular song for New Jersey today; this place has treated them terribly historically. Corey laughs, dropping the shoe nonchalantly at his side.

           "Nah, man…You what…? Oh, you want your shoe back? Well, you shouldn't have fuckin' thrown it at my face (crowd cheers). I'm not throwin' it back." And Johny drops the bass and the moshing continues. Nanette finds herself deeply entertained; her band's frontman, and friend since age twelve, Lars, has been begging her to go and watch Stone Sour for the past whole two weeks since this tour started, jokingly telling her that she could learn a thing or two from their drummer, Roy.

           Lars had been begging until Nanette was sitting at a table at catering for lunch when her bandmate managed to find her, Corey at his side. She had shook Corey's large hand, stood up from her vegan sandwich just to do so, hiding her irritation well. As a hermit of an introvert, Nanette never goes out of her way to interact with people. She just does her own thing, drumming in her band. She wanted to death glare Lars so badly, but didn't intend to insult the singer with whom she had no beef.

           Corey had looked Nanette directly in the eyes with his own pair of blue, piercing suns, and she found herself below him in a way that made her feel shy. His handshake was firm and sure, the type Nanette has only ever experienced with people who are serious enough to have any type of motivation about anything.

           "Nan, I've heard a fuckton about you," Corey said, "And I'm pleased to meet you. This guy right here (tilted his head towards Lars) has been telling me for the past week since I stopped ignoring him that he's never heard a better drummer than our own, but you're second place. Thirty-two of my shows he's been to, and he's been telling me this so fuckin' much that I knew I had to see for myself." Nanette nearly choked on the food she was still chewing. All this time, Lars's telling her that she could learn something from watching another band play was something that Nanette let slide as a not-so-funny joke that meant he thought she didn't play that well.

           "So, no pressure there, but, I'm planning on watching your set today to find out whether I can call bullshit," Corey smiled. Speechless, Nanette only nodded, her arms crossed hard in a way that must have looked like fury. To be honest, all she felt was shyness at the way Corey kept cussing and somehow managing to simultaneously be charming. It was the way that he talked about her, everything being accurate, almost as if he had been stalking her this whole tour, but she had just met him. She owed it to Lars, who clearly gave Corey her life story.

           "You should come watch our set," Corey continued, "I saw this motherfucker at the side of our stage every day until I just couldn't avoid his ass any longer. Please tell me you'll stop by to save my eyes from bleeding this time around." And Lars had been dying laughing beside Corey. Immediately, Nanette could tell the men had become what everyone loves to call "bros."

           "You're so much easier on the eyes. I'd owe you one," Corey grinned. Bam! Something hit her then, mentally speaking. Luckily, the rest of Corey's band interrupted and saved Nanette from having to utter a word. As soon as Corey's eyes were diverted, she had sat back down and pretended there weren't a brigade of dudes making obscene jokes and conversation behind her. The testosterone under the tent was becoming suffocating, and she drowned it in cold grapefruit La Croix...

             Standing at the side of the stage, Nanette recalls all of this ish which occurred hours prior. She had arrived ten minutes later to the set than Lars had. He wouldn't stop texting her about it, saying she'd better not cop out. In all honesty, she had felt shy meeting Corey, and also guilty in a way. The guilt stems from her current boyfriend, Nolan. His band was supposed to make it onto this tour, and Nolan was going to be with her this whole summer, as they planned. But because of an issue with finances and their guitarist having a family emergency, the plans fell through, and Nolan is still home in Sacramento, just passing the time until Nanette returns. Every day, she and Nolan talk and/or text, and every day, she's been feeling guilty about being here without him. She knows how much this is Nolan's dream, and not being able to live it with her hurts him. She hasn't been telling him too much about the tour, wants him to believe that she's not really enjoying it without him.

           She even went so far as to ask her bandmates whether they could use an extra roadie, which could have been a spot for Nolan to fill. The guys in her band were completely onboard with the idea, but Nolan just told her to go without him. He had explained that he didn't want to hold her back from anything, that he'd wanted to be singing in his band, not setting up merch tents and taking up space that her bandmates needed on their bus.

           Though Nolan checks in with her daily, she can't help sensing that he must resent her, though none of his situation is her fault. And that actually hurts Nanette. The way that Corey talked about her earlier had made her feel good. But that good feeling kept her alert of her guilt over Nolan. He had been having trouble with money, too, in all honesty. The thing that had hurt Nanette the most was that he sometimes admitted to fearing that he had nothing to offer her; paying his rent as a starving artist made things complicated. And many times in the past two weeks, Nanette has questioned just how serious Nolan is about their relationship. He had gone from incredibly excited and positive about life and a future with her to near radio silence.

           A month ago, Nolan was talking to Nanette about marriage, and he seemed so happy, but when his tour plans fell through and she broke the news to him that she and her band would be touring with some pretty big names, something changed. Nanette did not want to call it jealousy, despite Nolan's constant, undying support when she'd unload her worries on him. He smiled to her face and told her that she was going to be great, that he'd be waiting for her with an engagement ring when she came back. Nolan had said all that he wants to do is love and support her, but lately Nanette has been wondering whether Nolan meant it about the support part...These thoughts cause her to shiver, even whilst it is ninety degrees outside.

           Nanette focuses on Corey again; banging his head from side to side, she wonders whether he saw her come down to watch. She twirls drumsticks in her hands and smiles. She should be focusing more on the talent in front of her, rather than the troubles in her head. That is one thing Nanette loves about drumming; it's an escape. She can sit for hours tearing up a drumhead instead of letting negative thoughts stew. By the time the performance is over, Nanette is sweating where she stands. She finds herself in Corey's view as he starts off the stage. He smiles and for a moment, she wonders whether it's just Lars he's smiling at, until she turns to the right to find Lars missing, probably gone to get a cold drink. Corey walks right up to Nanette, offers his hand for a high five. She doesn't leave him hanging.

           "Glad you could make it, Nan," Corey says. He has already gotten comfortable with her name. Seeing just how glad Corey is that she came, Nanette can't help but start to feel good again. She is wanted here.

           "Where'd Lars go?" Corey asks, gazing down at her and swiftly opening a bottle of ice cold water that a sound technician had casually tossed him on his way over. He's sweating like he has just stepped out from under a shower, and even though his proximity to Nanette is such that she can feel his breath gusting her cheeks, his odor doesn't exactly disgust her.

           "He was here a second ago," she shrugs. Corey takes a step back to douse his already dripping head with water, and his hair sticks to his face harder. The crowd is screaming for an encore and Corey throws his head back to laugh once, cheerfully, into the sky. He hands Nanette the half-used bottle.

           "You're sweating. Drink this," he says, not waiting for an answer before heading back onto the stage with the remainder of Stone Sour. The water is just right as it hits the back of Nanette's throat. There is a soft jab at her arm as somebody pokes against it. She glances to her left to find Lars with two bottles of Jägermeister. She shakes her head for no, tilting the nearly empty bottle of water that Corey had given her back to her lips. Lars shrugs and pockets the other bottle in his shorts.

             Nanette tries to pretend that Corey isn't staring from the right side of the stage, him and Roy focusing particularly on her. She has long since overcome stage fright, but knowing why the singer and drummer of one of the most popular bands are watching her in her element makes Nanette anxious. To her relief, she doesn't miss a beat, and Lars, Madden (bassist), James (guitarist), and Pinkerton (other guitarist) are playing their best, clearly thankful for just being there. They have been well received so far, their crowd size getting a bit larger from day to day. Though nowhere near as big as Stone Sour's crowd, or any of the other well-known bands on this tour, it means something to Nanette that people think they're good enough to stop and pay attention to them.

           Nanette begins to wonder whether the crowd is so large because of the traffic Lars must have attracted by hanging out with Corey. She knows from spending most of her time on a tour bus with Lars that he had met Corey a few times as a fan at Slipknot and Stone Sour shows, and so he had already had some type of connection to the frontman. During a pause between songs, Nanette eyes the crowd to see a surprising number of Slipknot and Stone Sour t-shirts on sweat-laden concert-goers, and is sure now why they have come to watch her band's set. At the same time, she tries to reassure herself that their reasoning is because the music is also good. One of the things that interviewers seem to be harping on is the fact that Nanette is a female drummer in a male-dominated setting, something that she never likes to focus on too much, but always ends up becoming the center of attention. Occasionally, she worries that her shorts and sports bra are attracting more men to the set, but she sure as shit isn't dressing for anyone or anything other than the weather and her comfort.

           As she randomly taps a cymbal, and Lars goes on to address the crowd and explain who they are, where they're from, introduce the band's members, Nanette recalls that Corey had described her as, "easy on the eyes," and the number of masculine faces in the crowd becomes more apparent to her. For a moment, she glances side stage, where, for a handful of fast seconds, she was hoping to see her boyfriend. She frowns slightly, but Corey waving makes her smile again. Roy gives her a thumbs up, and she laughs a laugh that nobody else can hear.

           When the set is over, Nanette is soaking in sweat. She's glad she decided not to wear makeup today. The humidity seeps into her pores unyieldingly, and she is about to stand up from her kit when the crowd, screaming louder than before, causes her to start. She hears a smashing of her cymbals and finds Roy hammering away in front of her. She sits behind her kit confused for a second before smiling and joining in with her own impromptu beat. Corey is growling into the microphone with Lars, and Pinkerton has started to shred away. She figures this was completely unplanned, but she goes along with it anyway, and when the little stint ends, she stands to take a bow, Corey having appropriated the microphone, telling the crowd to give it up for Nan, the world's second best drummer. She can't help but blush and laugh, Roy clapping and bowing to her appreciatively.

           She is the first to get off the stage before anything else can happen, somewhat overcome with shyness, all the male eyes in the crowd following her on her way out of sight. She finds herself ambushed by high fives and people asking for pictures as Roy and the rest start after her. Despite being hot beyond reason, she smiles and stands with people for pictures, Madden, and Pinkerton holding her up between the two of them in a number of shots. People are starting to know who she and her bandmates are, and the sensation of mild stardom begins to lift her spirits. At just over five feet tall, she falls below the height of her band members, and it starts to make her laugh every time one of them either lifts her or stoops at her side for photos with fans. It isn't long before she is overcome by thirst and makes her way from the excitement, Lars explaining that the band's merch tent will be opening in half an hour, at which point they should come by to get a copy of the EP and t-shirts.

           Nanette finds someone at her side as she makes her way to the bus; all she wants to do is grab some of the baby wipes she'd bought with her and wipe down and change before the meet and greet. The back of Corey's hand tapping her shoulder causes her to pause.

           "Hey, you were great," he says, "I hope you don't think I was too much of an asshole back there. I'd say you're just as good a drummer as Roy." Nanette smiles, wondering how long Corey has been following her, as she had been walking for at least two minutes before noticing him.

           "Thank you," she says, pausing at the door of her band's bus, "We have a meet and greet thing in a few. I'm just gonna go towel off a bit and change first," she explains, feeling his stare inside her soul suddenly. It begins to make her anxious. Corey smiles.

           "Cool. I'll see you soon."

(Click here for chapter 2)