#also the fact that this isn't a thing anymore.
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P*rn ☆ Chapter 1, a familiar stranger
Masterlist Word count: 1.2 k Sylus x Fem!Reader
Summary: You have been following a spicy content creator by the name of Red Crow for some time now. Nothing could’ve prepared you for what would happen when he moves into the apartment next door.
Warning! This story is meant for mature audiences. It contains sex, swear words, porn, smoking, intimate piercings, mentions of drugs, and other mature themes. Do not engage if you are under 18.
Mature content under the cut. No graphic content yet.
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'Did Rafayel find someone to rent my apartment yet,' Zayne questions as he puts two mugs of tea on your coffee table. You shrug in response.
'Haven't heard anything yet, but knowing him, it'll probably be soon.' Zayne smiles at your sulking expression. He reaches out to ruffle a hand through your hair. You quickly smack his hand away and stare at him with pretend anger.
'How have you been holding up without me?' That question is loaded, and he knows it. For the past four years, he has been your neighbor. But he has always been much more than that.
When he noticed you were living on your own, he would sometimes bring over leftovers. Some days you would come home to a note taped on your door with a request to be quiet because he had a long shift and another even longer shift coming up. You started doing the same, but with notices if you had someone over or were doing something that could cause noise. Eventually, you two got to talking and formed a familial relationship. It always felt like you had a big brother looking out for you.
Ever since he moved to the next city over to work in another hospital, you have missed him tons. Sometimes it hurts when you realize you can't just walk two steps from your front door and be talking to him. Meeting up is even more strenuous than it was before, and you miss him like crazy. It's not just the proximity though, no, it's also that you don't know everything going on in his life anymore. He's doing amazing things, meeting amazing people, helping to make the world a better place, and you barely know the names of his closest colleagues.
'I'm fine,' but your voice betrays you, trembling throughout your words. Zayne's eyes look worried, and his hand moves to touch your shoulder to comfort you. 'I'm fine, really. Just getting used to being alone in the city again.'
'You're not alone anymore. You've got Tara, and you get along alright with that new colleague of yours, right? Jeremiah?'
'I know, it's just...' He reaches out to pull you into his chest.
'I understand. I miss you too.'
'I just hope the next person is nice too,' you mumble against his shirt while he gently rubs your back. All this feels so normal, so nice. You're not sure if you'll ever fully get over not living next to Zayne anymore. It was perfect, and now it's gone. You can't blame him though. This was a very important step for his career and you're glad he did it, it just makes you feel like you're stuck in the same place all over again.
Everything just feels so stagnant, so normal. Like nothing ever changes. You can only tell that time has passed by your growing fingernails and the dust building up on your windowsill... You should really clean. It's been too long.
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'This is nice,' Luke awes as he walks into Sylus’ new apartment. The place is completely empty and there's a bit of an echo, but he's right. The place is nice. That doesn't mean Sylus has to be happy about it. In fact, he's not even close to being done groaning and whining about being doxed for the third time.
Sylus grumbles: 'My last place was nice.' Kieran nudges him over the threshold of the apartment.
'Stop whining you big baby. Shit happens.' Sylus turns to him with a death glare. Kieran rolls his eyes and holds up his hands in defeat. 'Sorry man. There really isn't much else to say about it.'
Sylus knows damn well that he's right, he's just not ready to admit it. That last place was a little bit special to him. It was the first place he moved into on his own after a long relationship. He knew his job would always be an obstacle in any relationship, but he thought she had gotten over it. She clearly hadn't.
When his popularity skyrocketed, she left him. Told him she couldn't keep sharing him, no matter how many times he told her there was no one to share him with. She was part of the reason he started doing solo stuff. He even offered her to stop doing it. It wasn't even a big deal to him. That didn't matter to her.
Luke and Kieran tried to get him back to who he was, yet even they couldn't ignore the fact that he became a little different. He distanced himself, became harsher, became colder. He wasn't particularly rude or anything, just a bit off-putting if you don't know him.
'Anyway, I'm going to let your neighbor know we're moving you in this week,' Kieran states and quickly leaves the apartment. Luke gives Sylus a look.
'What,' Sylus snaps at him.
'Shouldn't you join him?' Sylus raises an eyebrow and crosses his arms. Suddenly, he looks a lot bigger and a lot more intimidating.
'I just got doxed. Why would I go around introducing myself to everyone?'
Luke just shrugs. Sylus antics don't do much to him anymore after knowing him so long. 'Fair enough.'
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The doorbell buzzes. It's ever so slightly longer than the average person would press a doorbell, and so ever so slightly more annoying. Mayorly more annoying because you were just dozing off cuddled up to Zayne on the couch. It has been a long time since that happened.
You groan and shift, but Zayne tightens his grip. 'Don't go.' His voice is gravelly, tired, a little strained. For a little while you're considering it, but then the bell buzzes a second time. Longer this time.
'It's just for a second,' you whisper back. He nods and his grip loosens. You get off his chest and quickly shuffle to the front door. When you open it, you have to take a few seconds to digest the picture in front of you. 'Kieran? Why are you here? Does Tara need something?'
It seems his head short-circuits just like yours has as he takes a few seconds to answer. 'Eh, no. I didn't know you live here. I'm just... I'm helping a friend move in. I'm doing a round to warn people about the noise.'
'Oh, good to know. Thank you. Who's your friend?'
'His name is Sylus but he's a pretty private person, so I can't promise you he'll stop by to introduce himself.'
'Fair enough,' you respond while you think back to how Zayne used to be. It was a similar situation. Took more than half a year before you two would even greet each other when passing in the hallway. 'Well, give Tara my best. I'll probably see you soon.'
'I will. See ya.'
'Who was that,' Zayne asks from the couch.
'Friend of the new neighbor. He's moving in this week.' You grab your phone from the coffee table to check if Rafayel send anything about a new tenant, instead you see a notification from Red Crow's socials. A new post.
"No smutty chapter this Friday. I have a busy week. Maybe if you beg, I'll record myself getting off."
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#lads sylus#l&ds sylus#lnds sylus#sylus#love and deepspace sylus#sylus love and deepspace#sylus x reader#sylus x mc#sylus x fem!reader#lads sylus smut#l&ds sylus smut#lnds sylus smut#sylus smut#love and deepspace sylus smut#sylus love and deepspace smut#sylus x reader smut#sylus x mc smut#sylus x fem!reader smut#lads sylus fanfiction#l&ds sylus fanfiction#lnds sylus fanfiction#sylus fanfiction#love and deepspace sylus fanfiction#sylus love and deepspace fanfiction#sylus x reader fanfiction#sylus x mc fanfiction#sylus x fem!reader fanfiction#lads sylus fanfic#l&ds sylus fanfic#lnds sylus fanfic
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I'm in my bed crying over jikook again.
The thing is, I don't even have the proper words to express what I'm feeling.
It's all so..God I don't know. Improbable? Crazy? It's crazy.
You have two humans that have the most pure souls, with impossible high-stakes lives, that somehow found each other and also found the most beautiful love I have ever witnessed in my 32 years of life.
The probability of this happening is almost zero. It shows there are really bigger and smarter things than little us at play in life.
They went through so much, and so much more than any of us will ever be able to imagine, yet they remained pure at heart, with their love growing ever stronger and more potent by the day.
They let us in on everything, and showed us the true depth of their feelings openly (but even so, it's written all over their faces).
They simply care, a lot. The little things, the trips, the quiet moments, all of it, they really do care. It's not for show. It's real.
It's like we're getting a glimpse of something that doesn't belong to us at all. Yet, they are generous enough to let us experience it vicariously through them. Isn't it an act of love on their part? They don't have to do it. It's not even smart or safe or reasonable for them to do it. But they do anyway. Maybe because they wouldn't be able to help it, even if they wanted to?
How weird it is that our love for them is that strong? We've never even met them. Yet we feel for them something more unconditional than what we feel for some people we've actually met. How strange, don't you think? So we cheer on and support and we feel it all. We care too.
And I can't explain how witnessing jikook's love has been wonderful, how it has filled my heart with an immense amount of joy and reverence and beauty. It is a mystery.
Somehow I feel it's not even about them, even if it is, obviously so. It's simply that love. Isn't something most of us miss? Long, crave for? Wish for everybody.
If all the people would be in love like Jimin & Jungkook are, there would be no wars in the world anymore. It would be completely different.
The lack of love produces incredible darkness, and it's only love that can fix everything.
So I think that's why I cherish their love so much. It is so very precious, so very important, in ways they might not even understand. The fact they have such an audience being exposed to their love, feeling all the feelings, it helps the world heal a tiny little.
It's not a small thing. It matters.
If we can all fill our little corner of the universe with that type of love, we would've won all the battles, done what we came here for, and call it a day.
They've gifted us the incredible gift of are you sure, where their love was quiet and peaceful and certain. They've given us the gcf. And Letter. And then there was Rosebowl, and MMA, and Black Swan. A thousand moments. Again and again they've showed us.
Now they are enlisted together, and I think that there's nothing more to add. Nothing to prove. Nothing to show. It is self-evident and we can only smile and be happy for them.
What an incredible journey it has been, full of laughs, of crying. So many tears (of joy).
When they will come out of military, we can say that a chapter of their life will close, and another one will open. Hopefully a even happier one than the one before.
So yeah I've decided to make a rather big edit about it, this first chapter, those 10 years of love.
(And you're not ready with some of the music I chose, it makes you feel ALL THE THINGS, prepare tissues)
Sorry for this post that is going nowhere.
Sometimes I simply need to scream my love for jikook. They truly deserve it.
Aren't they wonderful? Yes. Yes.
Take care lovely jikookers 💜
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Dc x Dp Fallen Moons Pt. 1.5
Was thinking of interactions for this post. So here we go, unhinged thoughts at 1 am on a weekday while I procrastinate. Thank you @kizzer55555 for the parental figure. Clayface is their dad and i feel that it fits for the whole uncanny twins.
Damian: Father, Richard, meet my classmates Daniel and Dante Nightingale. They were assigned to my group project with Jonathan.
Danny and Dan: Nice to meet you, Mr.Wayne. *while deadpanning*
Dick and Bruce: Reeling internally ever so aggressively.
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Danny: Dad we met Bruce Wayne today.
Karlo: Is that so? Did you have fun?
Dante: Eh it was kinda boring. I think the only interesting part was his cave but even then he really is just a fruitloop.
Karlo: Of course- Wait what? Did you say cave????
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Batman, still in the cave: So it seems you were right Nightwing. Not only are their records fake but even their parent identity is fake and with footage from Oracle, it is believed their possible guardian is Clayface.
Nightwing, patroing: Do you think they are in danger? I mean with how they act and stuff. They might even be metas from what robin put in their file.
Red hood: Are you talking about casper and jade?
Robin: Red hood, I believe that your very ridiculous skills for names need to be reworked. Neither of them are jade.
Red hood: Whatever you say baby bird, as for you Blue and B, those kids couldn't be anymore safe. Honestly.
Batman: What do you know?
Red hood: I don't know, the fact that I'm watching Clayface throw down with some vampire dude in an alley, like a full on cat fight. On top of that, he is winning. Ooh that was right in the ribs, yeah I don't think the vampire dude is going to get away from trying to kidnap his kids and the squirts are cheering him on too.
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Karlo, standing over Vald's slightly but bloody deformed body: Come here to help or try taking them too?
Red hood: Honestly, I'll take care of the guy. Just go home it's late as hell and definitely pass their bedtime.
Karlo: Tell your clan they don't have any business looking into me or my family. Also this "thing" is a warning. Try taking them from and every last one of you will feel this tenfold.
Red Robin in coms: Parenthood is one hell of a drug.
Batman, pretty much understanding that feeling from after Jason's death: This case is closed.
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3 am and at Bat Burger:
Karlo: Jesus Christ, kids breathe, the food isn't going anywhere.
Dante: But it will start fighting back if we take too long.
Karlo: Food shouldn't be fighting you?
Danny: Home food did, always.
Karlo proceeds to go through the 5 stages of grief.
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Harley: K, baby where did you find these munchkins?!
Ivy: Yes because they are definitely not yours.
Selina: Oh don't let you-know-who hear that, he would adopt these kittens in a heartbeat.
Danny: NO, WE ARE STAYING WITH DAD. No more adoption. It started and ended with Dad.
Dante: Dad already swore he would kill both Bruce and Batman if they tried taking us anyway.
Karlo, already done with life and exhausted on the couch: They can try and fail miserably.
#dan phantom#danny phantom#dpxdc#dc x dp prompt#dp x dc prompt#batfam#dark danny#jason todd#gotham city sirens#tim drake#damian wayne#bruce wayne#dick grayson
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After listening to Would You Fall in Love with Me Again one to many times I'd come to a couple conclusions, so buckle up while my theater kid brains rants about the beauty of the song
One of the things I absolutely love about Epic in general is Odysseus voice change through out the sagas—and, I mean, it's always Jorge Rivera Herrans singing but the change in his mind and personality is obvious, to me at least, in his voice, too. He sounds less joyful, more mature and definitely tainted by the ghosts of the things he'd done.
I mean, just listen to Just A Man and Odysseus back to back and tell me I'm wrong
Now, about Would You Fall in Love with Me Again in itself, there's something I can't help but notice and it's that Penelope sounds almost annoyed by the point she asks Odysseus to get rid of their wedding bed. But, of course, I don't think she's annoyed by the things Odysseus has done or the fact he feels how he feels, I think she's annoyed by the fact he dares to think she wouldn't love him anymore.
Because, I feel like his question 'Would you fall in love with me again?" isn't really a question of 'would you' but a question of 'could you' and that puts in doubt the strength of her love for him. And, yes, sure, Odysseus has been the one traveling around the world, suffering every tortured and pain, and whatever the fuck. But Penelope is right, she has been waiting, and you know how hard it is to wait?
How hard it is to keep your faith in something or someone and for twenty years assure yourself that it will happen even when you have no reasons whatsoever to believe so. For that, I think the fact that Odysseus is doubting that Penelope loves him just as much as he loves her actually infuriates her.
Which, is also why I love the ending to the song so much, because after Odysseus realizes what she's asking of him and he tells her so, she replies by telling him that, in fact, he's still her husband, the one and only she loves. And then she proceeds to explicitly tell him just how much she actually loves him and that the yearning he has felt all those is exactly the same one she has been feeling.
Also, on a more technical note about the song, I absolutely adore the late motiv of Just A Man after Penelope finishes her verse, because I feel it's a way to say 'see Odysseus, everything you've done and everything you've suffered has been worth it"
I don't know if this makes sense or if it is a little messy, but I wanted to share my thoughts because I'm a bitch for Greek Mythology AND musicals, Epic has taken me into a deep rabbit hole of analyzing both the Odyssey and the two hours twenty minutes of music of the musical. And, I needed to share my thoughts on this particular song.
#in this essay i will#thanks for coming to my ted talk#i'll probably add more later#because epic has me thinking thoughtful thoughts#i love jorge rivera herrans#but i also hate him because not even my obsession with Hamilton was this bad#because yes#I'm obsessed with Hamilton too#what a shocker#right?#anyway#epic penelope#epic the ithaca saga#epic odysseus#epic the musical#jorge rivera herrans
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Matt Montgomery - Closet Geek & Closet Freak
An Adult in Eltingville that actually acts like an adult???? WHAT???
Matthieu "Matt" / "Mattie" Thomas Montgomery [02/16/1978] Not Affiliated with TEC - Known Tournament winner amongst Jerry's MTG players. Cosplayer and College student in Manhattan. AOL / Online Users: [MTM_cosplay] | [GoblinHoarder] Theme Songs: Talk talk - Charli xcx | Move Along - All American Rejects | Somebody Told Me - The Killers
Favorite Shit: Trading Cards, Puzzles, Sports cards, Cosplays, X-Men, Monsters, Kaiju, Robots/Mecha, Dr. Who, Rubicks Cubes, Hard Cover books, YAPPERS, Movie Marathons, Beast, Wolverine, MTG, D&D, Cosplay Contests
I don't know how tf to describe this man other than tired and done with everybody's shit and he hasn't been awake more than an hour. He's three years into his bachelor's degree, essentially has 3 full time jobs between cosplay, tournaments, and all of his school work PLUS TUTORING, homie barely has enough time to breathe let alone deal with the TEC. However, that doesn't mean he won't find a way to weasel himself in-- even if its.... by unconventional or rather... *unexpected* means.
Guys I have like no art of him SORRY
Mattie generally only gets introduced very sparingly during 1999-2005, essentially in passing by Jerry or Josh, but he's still present and alive during this time, obviously. Him being friends with Jerry is what gets him to recognize Josh later.
Matt is studying for a Bachelors in English Comp, specializing in Journalism.
Speaking of, Josh and Matt work together at the editors office for the Comic Book News site in the epilogue. It's how they find each other again after Matt graduates and moves back home.
Matt is from northern Vermont, around the Canadian border, and has a bit of a Canadian accent because of it.
Everyone picks on him about it except for May and Jerry, (yes, even Josh, but it eventually becomes endearing to Matt.)
MATT. LIKES. YAPPERS. He doesn't talk much, he doesn't have much to talk about. Books and papers and trying to explain gymnastics routines isn't exactly the most interesting thing in the world, y'know.
He also doesn't have the time to really subject himself to the extreme absorption that Josh and Bill can get with their comics and shows, so.. Tell him about them!
He didn't get access to a lot of the more nerdy, pop culture side of things because of his parents. They had a significantly stronger iron grip on what he and his sister were exposed to, so he never really...
well, he didn't get to express his love for the more geek-y side of life until he moved to NY for college.
He became a professional cosplayer via his roommate forcing him to post, invited to events and photoshoots for his live floor routines he'll do in character, though he almost always wears a full-face mask or enough make up that you can barely tell who he is.
he can't have his sister finding out he dresses up as a blue demon freak in his spare time, yknow? (god she'd bully the shit out of him if she did--)
He's been in gymnastics since he was in middle school, and he's actually quite good; he's on a scholarship at his university, for pete's sake.
unfortunately a bad fall broke his clavicle and made it so he can't do vault anymore, but he enjoys his time doing floor routines and fucking around on the pommel horse from time to time.
Matt also.. is weirdly envious of TEC's... closeness? The fact they barely get along and yet they're all still together, they all still try and see each other or keep in touch..
He's never had that, and it makes him horrifically jealous, but he keeps it to himself-- smile and wave, swallow it down like normal, hm?
please subject him to a movie marathon. Infodump on him everything about whatever you're fixated on. He likes listening to people's voices, so please, just do it. It doesn't bother him at all.
This man has a TEMPER. His mother and his sister have this too, and it is BAD. Matt, however, learned ways to keep his temper at bay and calm down. to an extent. Bill, however, always manages to get his blood to boil by just the mention of him, so maybe... don't
Also, Matt and Pete absolutely bicker. A lot. Matt is constantly showing off that even though he's only an inch taller, he's able to do soOOSOooo much more! and Pete is convinced that Matt isn't actually gay and is trying to steal May away (guys Pete is such a fucking jealous goober I hate him)
Meanwhile literally the only person Matt wants is Josh. Pete should open his eyes maybe but like it's fine.
HOLY SHIT GYUSY
Okay UHM Hi Matt probably won't be talked about much but if you see me Vermont Honey posting it's because I need my comfort ship back okay THanks Also the NSFW cut is coming guys It's gonna have em all And I'll draw Jane and Matt's little sister soon, as they go to school together (Jane absolutely hates her guts OOPS unfortunately she's a bitchy cheerleader so you bet Jane has a voodoo doll of her somewhere in her room).
#the eltingville club#the helltingville club#eltingville fanart#welcome to eltingville#eltingville oc#eltingville club#matt montgomery#the eltingville club oc#my oc stuff#oc x canon#my headcanons#my art#GUH Thanks guys for being patient with me#sorry this one is less than the rest of them#he's not official so like... no funny titles for him#Though if he were to get one#y'all are amazing#hell I guess it's time to keep coloring dicks
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So, @secriden I promised I would come home and give my thoughts on your thoughts, so here we go.
Style not knowing would have changed how quickly his emotions changed for him, because him knowing and feeling bad about tricking him and him running out of time with Fadel definitely contributed to him being in a hurry and trying to get Fadel to tell him the truth, but I still think the emotional vulnerability would have still happened, because he did see him at that grief support group, and then the subsequent confrontation with Fadel told him that Fadel is closed off for a reason and that Style has beaten down his walls and he hates it, but he can't stop missing him. I think Style, even not knowing he is a hitman, would have respected him a little bit more after that and would have tried to get to know him because he was happy about him being his boyfriend. it wasn't about the car anymore at that point. It may have taken longer, but he would have opened up about his mom and Fadel would have opened up about his parents and Style would have whiddled him down trying to figure out why he was so closed off at first. He probably would have pushed more about the ever been in love conversation because he wouldn't have been worried about pushing his buttons.
You were also right about how Style not knowing would have affected him during the week time skip, because Fadel shut off his phone, so Style would have spent that whole time wondering where the hell he was and if he has been ghosted or left. Like he would be legit upset, unless he believed Fadel when he said he had to help out a friend, but seeing as how Style is apparently a bit jealous, he would probably assume he was being dumped. Now, if he went to Kant about this, Kant could either come clean, or he could just continue his with the BS lie, and tell Style that it's fine or if they left them, then good riddance.
So, Fadel coming back would make him both happy and angry and then if Fadel starts acting suspicious of him, he'll be like..whoa whoa whoa, sir. you're the one that left me high and dry and worried, not me. Shouldn't I be the one angry here??? Because he has no idea Fadel thinks his a snitch or that he's even a hitman. I can also see Fadel becoming more and more conflicted because Style just....isn't acting like he knows Fadel is a hitman lmao He'd even do scary shit and Style would just get turned on by it and they'd end up fucking and Fadel would go back to Bison like...are you sure he knows??? Because I held a knife to his throat and instead of acting scared he asked if I would use it in the bedroom??? How did you determine that he was a snitch???
And Bison has to admit that he doesn't actually know? Sorry, bro, I just assumed that because Kant chose him to help us trick you that he had to involved in the whole thing...and then they will fight because what the fuck do you mean you and Kant got him to trick me into dating him!!!???
so then he goes and confronts Style later about that little tidbit, which Style immediately admits too, but insists that his feelings were real so Fadel decides to just bite the bullet and ask him if he's working for the police...and Style is like ????the police???? why the hell would I be working for the police??? and he's like...so you and Kant aren't spying on us? and again Style is like ???why would I be spying on you??? I just wanted to help my friend get in your brothers pants, which i guess is kind of fucked up and all, but like....why would I spy on you guys??? And then Fadel has to come to terms with the fact that Style didn't know and that Kant sent him into this completely blind and he's grateful that he didn't kill him right off the bat.
Have you thought about how it would go if Kant didn't tell Style that Fadel was a hitman? Style would still be hiding something from Fadel and maybe he's thrown off how forward Fadel is now that they're dating but he'd regroup and lean into it and would totally be down for a double date with his BFF and if Kant is making a special night for Bison why can't Style do the same for Fadel and then Fadel disappears for a week and Kant is a sad moo who isn't helpful and then Fadel is back and Style is so happy but Fadel gets that call from Bison but Style has no idea.
So I have actually thought about this scenario a lot. It would have been even more fucked up for Style, because he would be even more oblivious and innocent than he is in canon. Because yeah, he started to follow Fadel around for a car (and then for the principle because he got intrigued by the chase) but that is nothing compared to knowing the truth of them being hitmen.
Now, him still being unaware would have changed things a bit. He wouldn't have acted weird or suspicious immediately after Fadel agreed to date him. He would have fully embraced it. Did you see the way he was grabbing Fadel's face at the end of episode 4 when he agreed to be his boyfriend??? Style was so fucking happy about winning him over. That was genuine joy. And if Style has anything going for him, it's that he can't hide his feelings for shit. When he is happy, he lights up and bounces around.
So he would have never acted strangely and Fadel wouldn't have had that moment of WTF is going on here? I think he still would have been hesitant to trust Style, but I don't think any red flags would have been raised like they were in canon. Fadel really took a second to try to figure out why his newly acquired boyfriend would suddenly not want to be touched by him or why he was running away. Without that interaction, Fadel wouldn't have had that thought.
Style still would have gone on the double date because he is still actively talking to Kant. Kant just isn't telling him the truth. Style would have noticed Kant being a little off, but he would be way too obsessed with Fadel and seeing him and getting laid to wonder too much about what is going on with Kant. He'd just go a long with Kant asking him to take Fadel back home because at that point it wouldn't be a strange thing to ask. He'd probably just assume he wanted to do something with Bison, even after the fake out with Babe. He probably would have been like..ok Kant has it handled. You still wanna bang? And of course Fadel would be like...yes. because those two are compatible and kinky AF and would be fucking like rabbits, (i mean honestly. I don't know how Fadel gets anything done anymore with Style trying to touch his titties every five minutes lol)
Now, him not knowing may change some of their conversations, but probably not as much as you'd think. Before he knew the truth, he was already wondering about what Fadel was hiding. He's seen him kick three men's asses without breaking a sweat and has seen that he goes to grief support group regularly, so Style is aware that Fadel is hiding a lot of things and Style is a curious person. He would have 100% still tried to figure him out and find out what his deal was. I think they'd still talk about their parents and have the trust conversation. It just might not have as much layered meaning because Style actually doesn't know, but he WANTS to. He wants to know Fadel.
What would that mean for Fadel thinking he is a snitch later? Well, it would hurt a lot more. Because if Fadel reacts the same way as he did at the end of episode 6...and then slowly tries to find out what he's been lying about, he's not going to come up with a lot because Style wouldn't be lying. he would have no clue that he was being suspected of anything. He'd be totally clueless as to why his boyfriend is acting strange.
Fadel would also probably get frustrated at that because Style wouldn't act like a snitch would act. (He acts strange a few times in canon and Fadel would definitely be looking back on those moments with suspicion after the fact) So, if a confrontation happens, whether violent or not, Style would end up feeling more betrayed than Fadel. and Fadel would come face to face with the fact that Style literally didn't know a damn thing and he's spent all this time treating him with suspicion and anger and maybe even trying to punish him for hurting Fadel, when his feelings were genuine. I think Fadel would then redirect all the anger and frustration he feels at Kant for NOT telling Style who he was and tricking him into this whole thing because Fadel could have killed Style and it would have been the wrong thing to do because he was oblivious the whole time.
It would have definitely been interesting to see that all play out. I think it would have shown even more true concern from Style towards Fadel, and more confusion for Fadel when he'd try to catch him in lies and come up empty.
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I ⏩💁 am 🤧🤧 a 💰👌 wishing 💫 star, a cosmic ✨ entity created 💦💦 when a 😎🔥 wish 🙏🙏 is made 😶 profoundly enough 🕑 (often by multiple people 👫👥 and/or over 👳 a 👌 long period 🔴 of 💦 time, ⌛🕖 that's 😐👊 role 😩 it 💧😂 is 😂 to fulfill said 💬 wish. 😢🌠 Usually, a 🅰 wishing 💫👇 star returns to 🐚😋 nonexistence after 👀 the 👏 wish 🙏 is 🌸🏳 fulfilled, however, I am 👏 a 👅💀 part 💔💔 of 12 😣 wishing stars (of 💦 whom I mutually consider ☺ my 👨🅱 siblings, that 😐😐 were created 💦 due to ➡ a 💰 massive 😯 collective wish from a 👏 star 🌟 system 😎🤣 very 😲⛪ much 🍆💲 far away from this one 💍♿ for 🍆 peace, ☮✌ as 💯 it 🔫 was ☠ deep in 🏽 a 🗣🐭 massive 😯 war 💣 perhaps 🤷 worse 🤜🤜 than ☄😻 any 🤷 that have, 😩💪 been 👏📽 observed on earth, thus 😂 far. 🌌 Due 👅👅 to 🙏🎲 peace 😎☢ never 🐘🙅 truly ⚡⚡ being permanent, me and my siblings do not disappear, and ➡👏 instead four of 💦 us at a time ⌚ will 💣💦 watch 👾 over the 🎊 star system 🌌 to 🌱 maintain peace, while ♀ the 📷 rest of us 💦😚 will ⚽ do what ❓🏿 we 🏻👌 will, 🅱 that ��� often being 😑 fulfilling smaller wishes 😘🙏 that would not normally create a 👨 wishing 🔮🔮 star. ⭐⭐
HAHAHA OH MY GODS THIS IS GLORIOUS LMAOO
The best part about this IS THIS SHIT ISN'T ANYWHERE ON MY PAGE ANYMORE. MF HAD THIS SHIT SAVED. THAT'S DEDICATION.
I don't give a shit what your intentions were but this genuinely made my day, thank you for such a good laugh anon
#cosmicasks#I really hope this is the same anon from last time#I'll give them this; this is a lot more creative#also the fact that this isn't a thing anymore.#I decided to stop trying to rationalize the whole thing with a backstory because I was confusing myself#and that shit was definetly my world building special intertest ass taking what little “lore” my kin actually has and running for miles#light years even
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People always be like "we want complex female character" but you bitches can't even handle Feyre, who has different sides and just because she's a mother now, you think she's completely disable to wield a sword...
She was a fighter long before turning to fae. She killed a fae wolf, 2 nagas, trapped a suriel several times (the very suriel Rhys tried to trapped and failed), killed an ancient wyrm and broke a 49 years curse all the while being a human. She has all the seven High Lords power and managed to kill many of Hybren soldier just to save Rhysand. She's mated to the most powerful High Lord and we all know 'like calls to like'. She went to the Summer Court and fight side by side with The Morrigan and never backed down.
But sure... she can't wield a sword now.
#just because she doesn't like to fight or hunt doesn't mean she can't#trust me she's capable more than you think#you don't want a complex female character#in fact you want a one dimensional fmc who is created for the male character lmao#and not suprisingly these are coming from Nesta stans lol#Like I know you love her but she didn't created being a fighter lmao#people can be many things at the same time#Feyre can be a High Lady and a mother and a fighter all at the same time#also Feyre being a fighter doesn't mean Nesta isn't one are you fkn stupid??#these people are also the one who wants Nesta to be a high lady while she said she had no interest in being one#like I said you don't want a complex fmc#you think a male character with no pov and only being mentioned in passing is more complex than the fmc who you've been in her head#you've read about her and her journey#and yet you think she's not complex#idk what to say anymore...#feyre archeron#feyre cursebreaker#feyre acotar#high lady feyre#pro feyre#pro feyre archeron#high lady of the night court#feyre darling
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hi Silver! o/ because that fanart made me wonder - would you happen to know when/where Dick's stuffed elephant plush Zitka turns up in the comics?
GREETINGS CAM <3333 THAT ART WAS SO CUTE
Yeah, I think your instincts are right - it's a truly adorable bit of transformative fandom, but I'm 95% percent sure it's not comics canon. Barbara has canon plushies, but I don't think anyone else does.
I got kinda invested in the investigation (it's hard to prove a negative!) and I ended up typing out an entire History of Elinore/Zitka, so, uh, if you're curious, meet me below the cut for:
Where does Elinore / Zitka - the animal - appear in comics?
Did Dick ever have a stuffed elephant toy in comics?
Where does Elinore / Zitka appear in comics?
We're gonna go in chronological order!
Dick's circus elephant friend was first created for practical reasons: in Batman 436, Marv Wolfman does a big expanded flashback to Dick's circus backstory as a way to subtly show us Tim before officially introducing him (so that we can have a technically-solvable mystery-of-Tim's-identity in LPoD). In this comic, there's an elephant named Elinore who loves Dick:
Aww. Such a cute elephant!
Batman 436 comes out in August 1989. New Titans 60 comes out a few months later, in November, and guess what? When Dick visits the circus, he is suddenly surprised by an unexpected blast from the past! It turns out that even though it's been years, Elinore still remembers him!
Here's the part where Elinore remembers Dick:
SUCH a cute elephant. I love her.
(Guess who else still remembers Dick even though it was so long ago. Guess which other character is about to be an unexpected blast from the past. Guess which character Elinore is directly paralleling guess guess guess sorry everything is about Dick and Tim in my mind but I can focus I swear)
Four years later, in 1993, Batman: The Animated Series retells Dick's origin story. They like and keep Wolfman's elephant, but they change her name to Zitka:
Wolfman doesn't return to the elephant beyond those two appearances, and a few years down the line, New Titans gets cancelled and Wolfman's not writing Dick anymore anyway. So the animal gets abandoned for a while, until Devin Grayson, a fan of both Wolfman and B:tAS, revives the Wolfman-era Titans team in JLA/Titans and then the ongoing series Titans 1999.
Grayson then brings back the elephant in a flashback to Dick's past in Titans 16 (Jun 2000), where she imports the B:tAS name. Sometimes I'm skeptical of TV-to-comics imports, but honestly, I endorse this one. You lose the alliteration, which is a shame, but IMO Zitka is a better elephant name than Elinore.
Here's Dick with the newly-christened Zitka in Titans 16:
Grayson also briefly references the elephant in Gotham Knights 20 and - in a final angsty callback - in Nightwing 88 (Feb 2004), where Zitka tries futilely to comfort Dick in the midst of his trauma conga line:
... And... honestly, I think that's it for comic appearances? The two Wolfman comics plus the three Grayson comics.
Both Wolfman and Grayson are writing multiple titles - Batman, New Titans, Titans, Gotham Knights, and Nightwing between the two of them, spanning a big chunk of Dick's post-Crisis canon - and both writers use the elephant for heartwarming moments of nostalgia, which means if you're doing a post-Crisis readthrough for Dick, Elinore/Zitka feels memorable. But I don't think she actually shows up that much.
For post-2011, I am not as well-informed - throwing this out to the dash? anyone know? - but I feel like Zitka the heartwarming symbol of Dick's heartwarming circus past is, uh, thematically very at odds with the Court of Owls evil!circus vibes, so my instinct is that this story element was almost certainly dropped in the reboot.
Did Dick ever have a stuffed elephant toy in comics?
In WFA, yes; in main comics continuity, no. Technically, I have not read every comic ever published, so I could be wrong!! But I don't think so.
Below, find my rambling reasoning on the tonal vibes of pre-Crisis, post-Crisis, and post-2011, and why this particular story element doesn't seem right to me for the first two.
Pre-Crisis (...okay, mostly the Silver Age): stuffed animal, yes or no?
tl;dr no, requires too much background knowledge on the part of the reader, plus the elephant wasn't a thing until later
Elinore doesn't get created until post-Crisis, but also just generally, pre-Crisis callbacks are more along the lines of this reference in Batman 129 (published in 1960), where, wow, Batman and Robin are hunting jewel thieves - and it turns out Robin recognized this strongman! BUT HOW?!
The comic goes on to recap Dick's entire origin story in flashback, on the assumption that you may not know it.
(BTW, if you'd like to know more about Haly's Circus throughout the years, nightwingology has a great post here summarizing a lot of fun plotlines and characters!)
Basically: Silver Age comics are very self-consciously episodic and kid-friendly; they're not generally gonna do overly-elaborate callbacks because they don't know what comics their kid readers may have randomly picked up or remember.
By the time of post-Crisis, comic books were being written for an adult audience buying from the direct market, i.e. readers who are collecting whole runs & don't need or want Dick's origin story to be recapped to us in full every time it's referenced. That's why in post-Crisis, we get stuff like "hey, neat, this particular soda brand is getting mentioned in several different books!!" or "in order to understand this story arc, buy SIXTEEN DIFFERENT COMICS in FIVE DIFFERENT RUNS and read them ALL ACCORDING TO A NUMBERED ORDER and also you better be following the individual plotlines and recognize these five minor characters who we don't bother to introduce!! Good luck!!" But the elaborate post-Crisis plotlines - and subtler worldbuilding like a stuffed animal callback to Dick's backstory - don't make a lot of story sense UNLESS you're imagining your readers as completionist adult fans.
So IMO a stuffed animal wouldn't be a pre-Crisis thing unless it was The Episodic Story Of the Week, and I don't think a stuffed animal is action-adventure-y enough for the fast-paced storytelling of the Silver Age. (Unless it, like, came to life and tried to eat you or something.)
Post-Crisis: stuffed animals, yes or no?
tl;dr: no, Dick's a manly tough guy, he's not gonna have a stuffed animal, that'd be lame, like something Tim might do
Part of the edgy grimdark adult vibes in 80s/90s comics is that some characters who used to be kinda silly & goofy & lighthearted - like Batman and Robin - get reimagined as Serious and Angsty and Edgy in a Tough Cool Manly Brooding Way. This massively affects characterization for Bruce, Dick, and Bruce and Dick's relationship.
(I obviously love this change & love the tense Bruce-and-Dick interactions, but plenty of fans of the earlier fluffy comics really disliked the edgy retcons of Miller / Wolfman / Starlin / et al.)
The upshot is that post-Crisis is a period when you could have a recurring reference like a stuffed elephant, but you wouldn't have a stuffed elephant, not for Dick. I think a toy like that would be too cutesy / childish / effeminate to give a male character in post-Crisis, unless you were poking fun at him.
Now, you could probably let Tim have a stuffed animal, because Tim is sometimes cool but also sometimes a tryhard loser who is faking being cool and not entirely pulling it off (see e.g. the Robin comic where he practices tough-guy faces in the mirror, or the Teen Titans comic where Conner discovers his cringy Enya CD, or when he's fanboying over Connor and it's awkward, etc etc.). A stuffed animal would be deeply embarrassing, and you'd have to be careful to compensate by having Tim do something cool afterward - but Tim's character concept allows for "he's kind of a loser sometimes."
But Dick isn't!! In post-Crisis, Dick's a tough / impressive / "cool guy" character, the kind of guy anyone would want to be, even in the flashbacks where he's Robin, and even in the stories where he's more lighthearted than angsty. It'd be kinda lame for Dick to have a stuffed elephant, so he wouldn't. I feel like Dick would be more likely to poke fun at it if someone had one, like when he's making fun of Wally for liking the Hardy Boys. Dick could have a Batman action figure, at most, and if he had one he would have it ironically.
Basically: in post-Crisis, a male character hugging a stuffed elephant feels more likely to be a punchline to me, not something poignant. (Even with Tim, Tim could have an embarrassing stuffed animal, but he couldn't hug it when sad - that's too far. Maybe Booster Gold might do this. Probably he wouldn't, but spiritually, he would. Sorry Booster ilu! <3)
Instead, Dick instinctively deals with his inner turmoil like the TORTURED ACTION HERO he is: by punching things and brooding and yelling and joining the mob and sleeping on rooftops and going on obsessive secret missions and acquiring Angsty Stubble!! Just like Batman!
(Technically I don't know if Bruce ever joined the mob but you know he would.)
Anyway as you know this is my favorite continuity and I am poking fun affectionately, but uh, yeah sdfsfdsfs. No stuffed animals.
Post-2011 / Infinite Frontier / Wayne Family Adventures: stuffed animals, yes or no?
tl;dr it's in WFA! Probably not anywhere else, but it could be.
Post-2011 stuff tends to be cutesier overall, most of all in the current Infinite Frontier era. So I don't feel like this would be tonally out-of-line with IF comics. Taylor tends to go for more meme-y references rather than fanfic references, though.
So the obvious best fit is WFA, which is aiming for a rough approximation of Silver Age family-friendly vibes - wholesome, episodic plots, Teaching Good Moral Lessons For The Youth, etc. - plus lots of Easter eggs for fanfic readers and some comic references.
And look, here we are:
Aww.
Whew - that's everything I could find!
Anyway as you can probably tell, I LOVE the elephant, so this was a very entertaining rabbit hole to go down, thank you <3
#dick grayson#anyone with more info feel free to chime in & we can crowdsource <3#i do think the toy elephant is awfully cute though <3#total digression but i was thinking about it as i was writing:#i'm fascinated by the ways that the post-crisis batboys & their stories can intersect with 90s masculinity and all its issues with stoicism#and i'm pro-queering and gender-bending - 90s comics were a total boys' club so i think it's neat that transformative fandom isn't#but i do love 90s masculinity and All Its Issues too & one of the things i find compelling about the dick-tim-bruce trio#& especially dick's place in it - is the unspoken hierarchy whereby bruce is manlier than dick & dick is manlier than tim#and so dick's in the middle as this somewhat softer-character who aspires to be a harsher & more stoic & ultimate manly-man character#caught in the middle between robin & batman & what each role represents#and like. batman is both manhood & the only desirable thing to be AND ALSO it represents this immense narrowing of possibility#because so much of stereotypical masculinity is about reducing the range of emotions you're allowed to have or express#and dick is both incredibly conflicted about bruce AND wants to be just like him & by extension is conflicted about masculinity writ large#so a lot of dick's interactions with tim veer between trying on a frat-boy-ish 'I'm The Manly Guy' persona vs. giving up on it#or trying on imitations of Bruce's Batman persona but also trying to backtrack out of it bc he doesn't like how it feels etc etc#ANYWAY i think what i am trying to say is that if tim had a stuffed animal dick would be entertained & poke mild fun at him#and call him 'teddy' for the next hour or something while tim got increasingly defensive about how the teddy bear was steph's#and/or about how the teddy bear was OLD and tim doesn't even care about it and also WHATEVEr i'm above this#and to an uninformed observer this might look like bullying BUT ACTUALLY#this ritual would IN FACT be very reassuring to both of them + tim would feel WAY better afterward than if dick had ignored it#because by poking fun at him dick shows he still respects tim enough to tease him thus subtextually exorcising the threat of wimpiness#plus allowing tim to defend himself & demonstrate that he can take a joke so they've both reaffirmed their masculinity to each other#& they don't have to be scared of the teddy bear and all it represents anymore#however also afterward dick would have a brief nostalgic flashback to when he was a kid & had a teddy bear & feel weird about the memory#because he would be unable to articulate to himself that what he misses is a past when he allowed himself to be vulnerable#anyway this wouldn't actually happen in comics but it's what would happen in my soul. you know.#ask tag#zitka
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Yes HI!! I am back!! With words!!!!!
First thing i need to address. i love the fact that N just lives in the fucking basement. That is TOO funny and fitting.
Because it makes sense lore wise as this is The Maskmaker. Something the rroyal family is guarding and holds highly. the fact the wood used is connected to the apple ritual?! Even more reason.
But the idea that there is just a person in the basement is so funny.
Yeah. you turn to the left and get to the dungeon. but you go down the hall and to the right and you find the maskmaker. That is too funny on so many levels
Okay but the detail that Nightmare can't feel the cold anymore is delicious. Just.there is somehting so human about feeling warm adn cold and nightmare just always feeling lukewarm. But still being able to feel the warmth and cold of others.
It means even more that nightmare takes care to make sure that ccino has weather fitting clothes, ESPECIALLY with the fact that the winters were gone and didn't come back until after nim is gone.
and the detail that ccino gave him a cloak!! special and custom made! hell maybe he even made it himself because he didn't have time yet to go order one, between his 101 duties.
nd the fact that while the cloak doesnt'truly make him warm as he can't be warm. the fact it does ground him. that it is a way for him to feel secure and just safe!! God that is so good Spot!! It is so good!!!
I love the fact that Nim took the twins down there to meet the maskmaker when they weree young. and the maskmaker just being casual about alreayd knowing their measurements. You just KNOW that nim went through something similar when she was young. which means. that it is tradition to take the young twins to meet the mask maker. Maybe it is to showcase that the maskmaker is pwoerful and special? important and in need to keep in the castle and secure.
I love love love that the effect of the tree is sitll noticeable here!! That being down here, near some of the source of the wood of the tree. near the source of this old spirit. That it still effects the people. and it would especially affect the ruling king as they ate the apple to gain those powers. making them extra receptive to this effect!!
Ngihtmare wanting to hide and cry. For just a moment in that space that little kid came out again. that little kid who just wanted to be safe and help hihs brother.
and then he pushes through because this is for a reason! He has his rights here! But most importantly. This is the least that ccino earns and damnit Nightmare is not going to let him be scared away.
The fact that the old maskmaker had looked with grief at nightmare. Knowing that nightmare would ahve died. Also i don't know if this is on purpose but the dark wood being used? the fact that nim didn't want nightmare to have a mask of the special wood. That is such a big deal. Yet it having been made with love and attention and so much care. that nightmare loved it, and still loves it.
And then the reveal of it being N!!
and nightmares FIRST thought being that N is an intruder. and he is so annoyed. not because of the fake being in the castle or even feeling afraid that someone broke in. just annoyed because he had plans and he wanted to get ccino his mask!!
And then it turns out that N IS the maskmaker.
and the fact that nightmare ASKS who N is. the fact he asks why there is a new maskmaker. and N being so happy because Nightmare is the FIRST king to ask about them!! that is a big deal and nightamre isn't even aware how big of a deal this is! I love that.
and i love how N's emotions are just wave upon wave upon wave of intense feelings. because N has been around the source of the tree's wood for so long now. They have been longterm exposed and even if it is part of her personality being near the last bits of the tree can't be helping them! also the fact she doesn't truly care what nightmare calls her. That is such a neat detail!
(okay side note. I got IDEAS about the line about the many different type of woods. and i understand that it are imported woods and stuff. but!! But!!!I got ideas and I will get back to that wiht an ask eventually because i need to make bad sketches to best explain!! but i swear i will come back to this and you can call me out and ask me about it in case it takes long!!)
okay but the rage tha tnightmare immediantly felt when N implied the mask was for a consort. later the fact that nightmare isn't even surprised that N knew who Ccino was. the fact nightmare immediantly figured that Nim would have taken Ccino down here to make sure the maskmakers are prepared in case Dream loves Ccino as much as Nim expects.
I don't know what is better. the fact that N is just snooping around and found out that way. Nim taking Ccino down here to show him off (also got thoughts about the fact that nim took a young skeelton which she KNEW would eventually grow into HER type as gift to her son. you think she ever watches the slowly becoming adult ccino and was disappointed her health was already declining? thoughts to discuss later.) OR! a secret third option. the carvers are right by the wood of the tree. the tree that is fond of ccino. maybe the tree just shared their emotions and feelings about ccino to them. which is protect. respect. special.
Just. options!
I love the process of the mask making?! not just the form or shape of the mask that is expected (though N asks for it at first so maybe most king's just told them what they wanted and expected the maks makers to make it work?) but when N sees that ngihtmare is very agaisnt it and tells him for who it is and why he wants one before anything else they go for the traditional way. which is to get a feeling for how the other thinks about them. To literaly FEEL what they feel to put THAT into the mask. that is so strange and alien but so damn beautiful! I love it!
And nightmare. gosh. he is so impacted. because thinking about ccino. about all he did for him. while his emotions are amplified. All those feelings and knowledge circling and effecting himself on such a level he is close to tearing up. i love that.
THE WAY HE CLUTCHES THE CLOAK TO GROUND HIMSELF!!!! The thing that Ccino GAVE him. just another reason why he is exactly there.
and N just being excited to get STRAIGHT to work. skipping over to the pile of wood to grab the best option and nightmare wanting to stay before deciding against it because it is just too much for him.
AND THE TAGS!!!
The fact the gang and ccino went down here to make a new mask for nightmare. ccino claiming first go because he IS the brother/caretaker/ REAL parent of nightmare.
Just. fuck! that would be such a banger drabble too! Maybe N doens't even address them by name but like by which animal mask they were given. Just right away she knows who is who without EVER seeing them. wihtout even being at any ceremony or anything!!
Ccino knocking and N opening the door only to smile and say "If it isn't the white cat!! Come in come in!" and Ccino is shocked. his mask is a very tightly held secret. just for his own safety. sure ccino figured nightmare told N for who it was but Ccino never met N. So he knows N never met him either.
And them all taking a moment to talk about Nightmare. You could really dive into their realtionships like that. ccino talks about nightmare with such pride and love. that is HIS kid at this point and his emotions and feelings say as much. Killer speaks about nightmare as this naive person still but willing to listen and learn. Soemthing that ngihtmare takes price in. Dust speaks about nightmare as his savior. Nightmare saved him first from dead and then from his own magic exploding him. Horror speaks about Nightmare of a trustworthy hardworking caring king. someone who tries his best to do right. Cross speaks about nightmare and can only think of forgiveness and second chances. He is safety.
Just. AAGH!!!
Also the idea that dream goes down here and N just smiling like "took your sweet time to visit me prince. You wanted a mask and you were literally down the hall!"
Dream sputtering "I was in a jailcell?!"
N tilts her skull "so? Could have still called for me. I could ahve had the mask you wanted ready AGES ago." :/
It is just not efficient lmao!!
The fact N just walks into town casually is so funny to me. Just. making my way downtown. walking fast. faces passing. no one knows how the fuck i do this :3
Spot this was such a good drabble!! I always love what you write!
The Maskmaker (New Age AU Drabble)
Hiiiii. So, this isn't very long and doesn't do Nightmare or N enough justice, but I wrote this a while ago and my lovely pals looked at me w/ big ol' eyes on my post about posting it, sooooo!!! Here it is!!
This is shortly after Night's coronation and follows Ancha's drabble regarding Ccino + his remaining by Night's side!
These halls. They were cold. Colder than the rest of the castle.
Nightmare only knew, thanks to the gentle puff of steam left by his shallow breaths as he stepped down the corridor. The dark, long, corridor.
He couldn't feel it. No. His sense of warmth and cold had faded almost instantly after eating the apple. The nervous chill in his core had been replaced with a luke-warm air. Like a puddle left after a summer rain. The chill couldn't reach him.
Still, he wore his cloak. One which Ccino had tailored not a week ago because he feared Nightmare would feel bare without it. His old one used to keep him warm. Ccino was right, of course. Purposeless or not, the new heavy fabric kept him centered. Covered the restless twitching of his tendrils as he spoke with the few he could bring himself to communicate with since the incident.
Now, it's bottom hem was suspended away from the old floors, just barely, by his extra limbs.
His steps were silent, he wasn't sure when that had begun, but he imagined in this darkness no one would know he was there at all until the Cyan of his eyelight was turned upon them.
He approached the door. Finally reaching the ornate, carved surface he'd visited only once before. When he and Dream were young. Nim had ordered them to come alone and let the mask-maker measure them. So they'd know when time came for them to commission their own masks. They didn't have to come down, the mask-maker already knew their measurements. They always did.
His knuckles hovered away from the door. With its carving of that tree, swirling and dancing in the low light his eyelight provided. This space held more lingering emotions than he'd expected. His hand trembled a bit.
No. He couldn't chicken out. He couldn't go crying, this was important to him. It was his right. It was... the least he could do.
His fist connected with the door, twice, steadily. The loud sound echoed into the space behind him, and he stood. Prepared to face heckling and anger abd fear, for he wasn't sure the mask maker even knew of his rise to the throne. He hadn't been there, after all. At the ceremony.
The door swung inward, and... Nightmare found hinself staring down at a monster.
This monster... was not the one whom he remembered.
Before, when he was young, he recalled a large, imposing monster. Heavy clay hands that held the pristine masks so carefully. Kind eyes which skimmed sorrowful past him, and handed him that lovingly carved owl mask. The one made simply out of dark wood.
Now, the monster stood before him, leaning in the doorframe, was not that monster. This one was slightly shorter than him, stocky in the shoulders, and bundled in layers of cloaks and gloves. Their face hid behind the mask of some sort of rabbit, bright, burning lights behind the eye-holes were a soft lavender and blue. Only a lashing tail gave away their species. A skeleton varient.
"Mask-maker." He greeted, composure renewed.
The monster blinked, before they widened the door a bit more. A wave of amusement and excitement washed over Nightmare, and he thought he might be sick from just how potent it was.
"Ah, my King!" They exclaimed, and Nightmare could almost hear the smile in their tone. "I wasn't expecting you so soon after your whole coronation, come in!"
They darted away from the door, allowing Nightmare to see past them. The room beyond was as he remembered. The large sets of work-benches, suspended candles, piles upon piles of wood. Masks lined every inch of the walls, though now he could see newer ones piling up along shelves and along the stations.
The monster seemed to round to a large chair, much too oversized for them, and plop down into it. Nightmare drifted inside, closing the door behind him carefully.
"You royals only come down to see me for masks, that is my job though," They mused. "Or, well, that's what my mentor always said."
Nightmare drew closer to the opposite side of the table which now separated them. He could see the messy, amalgamated surface of a partially-completed work laying between them. The wood mangled and frayed not unlike torn flesh.
"I must ask," He knew he had other business and little time, but, "Who are you, mask maker? My mother never mentioned a change in position."
It would be just his luck that a fraud would be hidden here in the depths. Though, the emotions were simply so delighted. They swirled about, as though every flick of their tail sent another ripple through the air.
A giggle erupted from behind their mask.
"Oh, I think I like you already, my king!" They said happily, "Mask-makers have never been asked such a thing by the royals! We have always been known to retire and pass on the mantel without care from you folks."
They divulged the information so easily, but Nightmare didn't recieve the answer he had asked for. It took a few more breaths before they spoke again.
"My name is N, my King. Call me as you see fit, I change as easily as replacing my mask." They finally admitted. "King Nim visited me once, two years ago, only to inform me her prince may quickly approach after his coronation. Though, I'm sure you're not the one she meant?"
Nightmare withheld the hiss which desperately wanted to bubble up in his throat. His tendrils whipped about in frustration. Guilt. Of course they were expecting Dream. He'd figured as much.
"No matter. I am here to serve my king, and that king is you, my good sir." They dipped their head a bit, "So, what is it you'd like me to carve? A noble wolf? A regal ibis? Something fitting a consort or-"
"None of that." Nightmare cut them off, his good socket narrowing in disgust. The thought made his stomach churn.
He thought he'd have to wait for her to speak up again, but found they had quieted and were seemingly awaiting information.
"My... head of house. Recently promoted as of my ascension." He said, slower. He wouldn't get worked up again, "He deserves only the best, and I know you understand this well."
N seemed to smile beneath the mask again, their eyelights hidden in thin crescent slits.
"Describe away, my king!" They exclaimed, reaching out for a scrap of paper.
Nightmare remembered how he'd been taught. To describe the mask with intention. Feelings and thoughts tucked away into each and every word. Those were supposed to be insightful for the mask-maker. To guide their hand as they carved.
"This mask. I would like it to be the Visage of a cat. Well-kept, clean, orderly." He spoke, gently, drawing his eye away from the table and to the plain floor were nothing would influence his thought. "A kind face, soft. Trustworthy and bold. Clever. Warm."
Nightmare wasn't sure what came over him. Descriptions and feelings tumbled from his jaws for what felt like ages. By the time he finished, his throat was raw with emotion. His hands clutched the inside of his cloak like a life-line.
It was the tapping of N's charcoal stick to her desk which alerted Nightmare. Made his eyelight snap back up to her position.
Though, she'd already put her sketch down and was up and across the room. Tugging at her piles and piles of enchanted and imported woods. For being a stationary monster, they had strength to move the wood with ease.
"You've given me the perfect working material, my King! This mask should be done in four-days time." They assured him, not turning around.
Their emotions read as elation now. A pure, unadulterated joy at the... the way Nightmare had described his mask? He could only imagine his magic intent had something to do with it. Ccino would, hopefully, understand.
Oh!
"The mask. You are aware who it is for?" He questioned.
N hummed, before popping away from the stack of wood with a nice chunk of white-ish wood. It reminded Nightmare of cooked fish flesh, a pristine off-white with an intricate pattern.
"I can only imagine it's that guy? Ccino? Good for him with the promotion, by the way. I'm sure he had his fair share of struggles to get there." N replied.
Nightmare gave a minute nod. He hated that he had a heavy suspicion as to why N already knew Ccino by name. Nefarious plans set by his mother yet again. Bastard woman.
He debated staying longer. Watching N strip the bark away or making smalltalk.
In the end, it was better to leave. His hands were still shaking and his gut felt like it'd spill if he felt one more overwhelming emotion from the craftsman he was standing with. So, he bid them a farewell, promised to return in four days time, and exited from that heavy wooden door.
The trip would be worth it so long as N delivered. And she would.
#newageau#Told you i would come back to this!#the others need to cook for a bit longer as i think about how to reply :3#also the ask will be cooking in the abckground as i prepare stuff :D
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What if king Henrik managed to steal Malleus's egg after defeating Meleanor?
The main point is that the egg WOULDN'T hatch because it needs love (and even in canon it took a couple of centuries to hatch, despite the presence of Lillia and Maleficia).
So after a few tries, he discards his plans and keeps the egg as a trophy. Years pass and a five year-old Silver finds the trophy room while playing. He stumbles into the pedestal holding the egg, but manages to save it before it falls.
The child then senses a tiny heartbeat, and realizes there is a baby inside the egg!
The egg hatches immediately. Baby Silver loved it at once (the way he did once upon a dream).
And that's how we get a Dragon Prince journey (sorta).
After the dragon hatched, Silver went to talk with his animal friends to see if they could help (he loves his parents, but he couldn't just tell them he went to the trophy room to play, some instinct of his was also telling him they couldn't be trusted).
He left the little dragon under the care of a mother bear and went to the library to see if he could find anything. He came across a few old books from before the Silver Owls that described the Draconias (the little prince was so excited! His dragon friend could become a friend friend! He didn't have any friends besides the animals! And the dragon was even a fellow prince!)
But first things first! His dragon friend needed to meet his actual family, they were probably worried sick! So he grabbed a few maps, marked out the closest fae castle, told his parents he would go play with the animals in the woods and left.
The trek was very long and dangerous, but the entire forest was on his side. Baby Silver kept talking to Malleus, explaining life as a prince, introducing his animal friends, and trying to find out if he liked to eat berries.
They avoided war-stricken areas and managed to reach fae territory. And that's when things took a turn for the worse.
Henrik and the Silver Owls found them. Apparently, the egg was missing and a search party was assembled to follow its magical traces. Baby Silver didn't know that, and went to greet his uncle, saying that he was helping out a friend find his family!!
Henrik looked at his nephew, then at the dragon, and went for the kill, literally. The kid couldn't even defend himself, as his uncle cut him down with a simple strike (dawn knight was at home).
And that's when baby Malleus's magic blew up.
A snowstorm of cataclysmic proportions struck, complete with fire tornados and lightning. At the center of it all stood two children, the tiny Silver that was bleeding out, and Malleus, who had taken a human form and was trying to close the wound (he changed forms because he was scared and emulated the only thing he could think of as strong and protection, and that thing was five year-old Silver). Meanwhile, all of the animals formed a protective circle around them.
Luckily, reinforcements soon arrived. Both Lillia and Maleficia came (that storm could only be a Draconia's doing, they would NOT lose the egg again). They made quick work of the rest of the Silver Owls before rushing to Malleus's aid.
The animals let the faes though, as if they knew the dragon had finally found his kin. But Malleus wouldn't let go of Silver, even when the kid started telling him "Look, we found your family!! You're safe!", smiling despite the pain and looming death.
With the use of "Far Cry Cradle", Lillia quickly explained the situation, and the faes made the decision to save the human. They had a much too big debt with this child, who was so innocent it hurt.
They were also keeping the human. If that despicable man was his UNCLE, then no way in hell were the rulers of Briar Valley going to give the child back to his family. It would be a disgrace to the Draconia family.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Now, there a a few ways this AU could go.
1. The faes weren't able to save Silver. They create a monument in his honor and he becomes the only human they respect. Relations with the Silver Owls may improve now that Henrik is dead, if they can convince Dawn Knight his son died to save Malleus.
2. The faes save Silver, who lives in Briar Valley until the end of his mortal lifespan, acting as Malleus's big brother and knight. The Silver Owls are angry, but eventually come to an agreement once they realize there was no mind control involved.
3. The faes manage to save Silver, but the wounds were so grave that he had to stay in magic stasis for a few hundred years. Receiving the BOTW Shrine of Ressurection treatment. Due to the nature of the magic, he lost his memories, got silver hair and became sleepy. He later wakes up and becomes the Silver we all know and love. Malleus still sees him as the older brother, but thinks that now it's his turn to protect the human!
#twst#twst chapter 7 spoilers#twst spoilers#it's a miracle how foreign relations can improve when everyone hates henrik and he isn't around anymore#also silver is just too good a diplomat#briar valley ready to protect this human#he is literally the saviour of the country#realizing that's the closest thing to a dragon prince au#with the whole “prince on a quest to give stolen dragon back to family”#also the feud between elves/faes and humans#and the fact that the human prince can talk to animals#baby silver strolling though the woods with at least a family of bears and a armada of birds and squirrels#silver twst#silver vanrouge#malleus draconia#lillia vanrouge#maleficia draconia#henrik was killed by his soldiers for attacking silver. and then he was fried to a crisp by malleus#how to get adopted by the fae#or how to adopt a dragon as your younger sibling
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Happy birthday Viktor! Ignore Jayce over there, he's cut out bc this isn't about him/j
#For those interested the cake flavor is tres leches with blackberry jam. Because I had it once in a birthday and it was rlly good#It's already December 29th here so might as well idc anymore I'll post now or else I'll spend the rest of the day fixing and refining detai#Over and over and over and it'll never be done. Because ughhhh I'm not that happy with the result tbh#I always feel like the final is a lot more stiff than the sketch. Like damn I took away all the whimsy and life in it smh#Also it wasn't the idea but Vik ended up looking like he wants Jayce bad. Idk what to do about that? but what's done's done good for them i#viktor arcane#i drew something#arcane fanart#Arcane#Arcane season one#I guess#viktor arcane fanart#not tagging jayce bc this isn't about him/j#Fun fact today is also my sister's birthday but that can wait. It's barely 1am Viktor comes first#Anyways I've recently been trying some new things with my rendering. I quite like this style! It's so fun#But yea I'll probably try to make more Viktor and Jayce art to bury this one bc I feel like I didn't do them justice here#Also sorry if I get the right and left mixed up in the description in alt for the record I genuinely am that dumb#alt text#described#image description in alt
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Hellooooo! 👋
Thank you again for taking my previous request with the immortal x reincarnation Headcannons 🥺 I forever love that trope to death
I enjoy seeing others Headcannons for the guys💖 thus why i’m requesting another Headcannons for once again, the Kitsunes
Since it’s December 👀 do you think you could come up with some Headcannons for what the three Kits would do on Christmas?
Like Aki trying to trap Santa for example🥺
SO! 👏
A quick history lesson to preface this! (Which I had to google, these fox idiots and fan fics involving them have me googling so much lately)
While Christmas first appeared in Japan in the 16th century, it wasn't widely celebrated until the Meiji Era (1868-1912)
If we take their release date as the canon date for things (so they got foxified 200 years prior to their release) that means they got turned into foxes around 1823, aka the Edo Period
So yeah, they have been foxes for the whole of christmas being a major/regular thing in japan and also being kitsune probably did not even celebrate it cause it might be competition???? (would they bro out with Jesus or try and fist fight him in a parking lot?????? surely not on the dude's birthday! No one is that cruel)
but yeah, it's safe to say their christmas this year (or maybe in 2023 cause they WERE released on December 5th, how quickly did you unfox them??) with you is like---- their first christmas EVER
ALSO SPEAKING OF CHRISTMAS IN JAPAN
it's considered a couples' holiday-- or at least one you spend with friends at a party or something
sooooo with that being said
Aki:
ya know originally when you said he'd try to catch santa I was like 'nah' but then I thought about it and like
actually you're so right??
he totally would though
at least he would try
is he gonna ransom santa??
beat him up???
strike some kind of deal for presents???
JUST VIBE WITH THE DUDE????
even he's not sure, he's gonna see how it goes
I think he's very santa focused until he hears that christmas is a couple's holiday
then his gears shift so so fast
and don't even get me STARTED about after he heard about mistletoe
his santa trap plans become you trap plans so quickly
and all of them end with you kissing him
also he heard there's cake and fried chicken and frankly
he thought all this was really silly when he first heard it but it's low key one of his favorite holidays now
Haru:
Hoe hoe hoe
okay but no LISTEN
there's this saying that the most sex in japan is happening on christmas or something to that tune
so like
Haru has known about this holiday for a while
he's actually the only one who knew about it before hand
though his views on it are very like-----
in a horny japanese way
he only knows it as the go to a party and getting laid holiday
which fair
but yeah
his views on things sort of change a little now that he's got his powers back and is not stuck in fox mode for the first time during this holiday
well-- his views haven't changed but the mood has for him
he's still wanting to take you out and wine and dine you and also end up back at one of your places
but 1) it's more romantic to him now than just a fun lay like it would've been before you
and 2) frankly this is just his usual m.o. just more christmas flavored
it's like a pre-valentine's day as far as he's concerned
aka another excuse to take you out, show you off, give you a good time then end the night with some alone time back at your place <3
Fuyu:
The oldest and most shinto-y of the bunch, he's the most taken aback by this holiday
he doesn't hate it or anything but he does see it as humans doing kooky human things
but you've opened him up to a lot of new experiences recently so ya know what??
alright!
let's go out and have a modern little christmas date
it's different but it could be fun!
and it is fun actually
he tries a lot of new things and he actually has a good amount of fun with you
it's very much a cute little sweet christmas date
he tries fried chicken for the first time
well, okay--- yakitori exists but my understanding is that that's more grilled, and tempura exists but that's sort of different to like------- KFC style deep fried shit
he's def had stuff like it but not like---- KFC ya know????
he likes it fine
lil greasy for his taste but it's nice for a treat
but yeah it's mostly just a pleasant little date, you and him just kinda enjoying the sights and sounds together in this new world that he refused to partake in for so long
and it def ends with a christmas cake
and maybe you showing him mistletoe
aaaand maybe telling him about the spike in spicy times if you feel so inclined ;3
#blush blush game#bear text#blush blush#bear talks#bb game#sad panda studios#kitsune bundle#haru#fuyu#aki#also I want it on the record that I am a dumb slightly drunk white bitch talking about christmas in japan#but also like---------#japan and it's relationship to christmas and the christian faith are just#wildly different than it is in the states#it's just a very different creature in a santa hat#not bad OBVS but yeah idk I just couldn't fully ignore the fact that they're like#dead ass fox spirits from a different religion#they're literally creatures from a different faith from a whole ass different country and a long rich history with said faith#IDK WHAT MY POINT IS#other than I'm white and dumb and please don't yell at me I guess?????#also that sex thing is legit a thing I've heard a handful of times but who the fuck knows if it's actually true#probably not now a days I feel like most shit like that that was like#A THING back in the 80s and 90s isn't actually A Thing anymore like that across the world#still fun to play with though lol
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every single time i'm reading anything about him, fan fiction or not, and someone describes him as lazy, i can't help but blurt out loud to myself, "he's not lazy" and sort of roll my eyes. It's in his character bio in the game for crying out loud: he doesn't see the point in trying anymore because every time he has ever tried in his life, he has been shot down and shown that nothing he does will ever matter.
self-indulgent elaboration under the cut
also, i would argue that it's about as clear as can be that he is "rude" on purpose to push people away...because he knows he was born in a silver spoon in his mouth and thinks he doesn't deserve people being nice to him. of COURSE he is snarky and snappy when he gets the chance, he WANTS people to stay away from him. He does NOT, however, want them to talk behind his back, i dont think. We know it hurts him. He doesn't want them to whisper that he's dangerous and he could probably kill everyone within a 50 foot radius with his UM at a moment's notice. Which is true. I think he's afraid of that possibility (and I believe in the novel it's described as being a volatile spell that other second princes have been effectively cursed with, and that he could accidentally kill people around him. That's why he grew up overhearing the palace servants whispering about the spell as if it was already a known UM.)
I know we don't know how he got his scar yet, other than it being something he clearly doesn't want to remember, but I can't help but wonder how he first "got" his UM. It isn't one he developed like Azul did, for example. He was born with that being the UM he would one day manifest. I definitely have ideas about how he got his scar and how it could relate to the advent of a Unique Magic like his, but I DO NOT think he killed or seriously hurt someone. I think the King's Roar spell has been popping up in previous generations of the Sunset Savanah royal family in second-born sons, and the people know it can lay waste to everything around the user. Even the things the user didn't touch or mean to affect start to turn to sand, like the air. Idk i just think his magic hasn't killed someone but I think he and everyone around him knows it could. From past experience, if you will. So maybe he showed signs of it being his UM and people FREAKED out as if he killed someone. That can be really damaging for a kid.
With this in mind, how could it be any clearer that he is trying to push people away? Now, allow me to be a blatant Leona Kisser on main (joke intended, that's my sideblog @leona-kingscholar-kisser LOL), but....HE'S NOT EVEN DOING THAT GOOD OF A JOB OF PUSHING PEOPLE AWAY. BECAUSE HE ISN'T A NATURAL AT IT!!!!! 😭😭😭😭 I'm not saying he craves connection, yet, because i haven't seen his part in book 7, but he definitely is not just meanspirited. He doesn't enjoy pushing people away, he feels that he has no choice in order to not hurt others. Isn't that the most selfless thing of all?
Knowing how he was treated as a child during his formative years, I'd say every glimpse of kindness and generosity and selflessness and passion for life he shows is indicative of someone who is all of those things even more so than it would be for someone who had no adverse childhood experiences. To me, the fact that he is all these things even in the face of the agony he must feel looking in the mirror every day means he is an even better person than someone who only does the right thing to earn praise and be celebrated. Character is doing the right thing even when no one is watching and all that.
I literally could write 50 paragraphs about him with MLA citations, but here is what i mainly wished to impress upon the part of twstblr whom i think are a wee bit confused about his characterization:
examples of Leona not being a massive sack of shit:
he pretends not to notice when Ruggie steals jewelry from him just about daily, but he doesn't outright give it to him because that would be too philanthropic for his image. He lets Ruggie think he's getting away with it. He doesn't want a "thank you" because he thinks he doesn't deserve it
he lets Ruggie bring his own laundry to be washed together with Leona's, while giving him his credit card to buy the nicest detergent and anything else he might want to buy at the Mystery Shop
the reason he doesn't wear his uniform jacket isn't because he just wants to break the dress code or make a statement, it's probably because he gave it to Ruggie. Hence why Ruggie's jacket is massive on him.
he skips his classes because he already knows everything they're teaching. he always shows up for tests, meaning he does keep track of when they are.
- personal note: he had all the NRC-level material drilled into him from a younger age than most as a prince. That level of focus on academics takes away time in your youth that you feel like your peers are spending having fun and having social lives. If i were him, going to classes where everyone around him got to learn something for the first time that he had been forced to memorize years ago would be really hard. It might be a reminder of how he had to grow up too soon. I personally relate a lot to being faced with the reality that every other student in your class didn't have the same amount of academic pressure put on them that you did and wanting to just curl up and cry at your desk. Being in classes where you already know everything or where other kids clearly have a lot less pressure on them can make you feel even more alone and hopeless and unloved than you already felt. it makes you grieve all the weeks and years of feeling like a workhorse instead of a child that you'll never get back. So i guess in that way I'm biased towards him and I completely support him skipping class :'3
he only got held back because of missed attendance. here are two important notes about that, in my opinion:
- firstly, he obviously doesn't want to go home. he also feels unenthusiastic about the 4th year internships even though he's going to take one in his home country and hopes to make some positive changes using his ideas. Still, he knows it will not come with the recognition and appreciation from his family he wants. Even if his ideas for oil mining fracking 🤮 bring great economic growth and can feed the children starving like Ruggie was, I doubt his older brother would see Leona for what he is or praise him as things stand now. hopefully that will come later in the story
- secondly, he wants to be held back and stay at NRC another year so his dorm can win the Spelldrive tournament against Diasomnia. He literally says that's the reason he is so desperate to for HIS TEAM (not him) to win that he puts himself in the position to be the bad guy and make the hard decisions he thinks he has to in Book 2! With the actual Spelldrive team, it's slightly different because Malleus isn't involved. It's interesting. In his Spelldrive Uniform home screen dialogues, he says winning is more important than doing your best... because he thinks his team wouldn't be happy with coming in second even knowing they did their best. I think he is blinded by self-hatred. I don't think what he seems to think is actually true. I think Epel and Jack and Ace and all the Savanaclaw members who bawled their eyes out when they thought he was turned into a Tsum are just happy to receive guidance from him. That makes him different from Azul or Kalim or Idia as housewardens, for example. They literally cry lollll. He knows all his Spelldrive players and they literally never shut the fuck up about how good of a coach he is and how attentive he is to their strengths and weaknesses. He doesn't even try to change them! He doesn't insult or belittle Epel when he wants to train to aim better, he literally just compliments how he is a great player in other ways and tells him not to change a thing. For no reason, bitch. He's such a fucking softie.
he buys us a drink in one of his chats, saying he "knows how to reward good service 😒". oh come on bro you're not fooling anyone, you probably weren't even thirsty anyway
he only went to Playful Land to keep an eye on the underclassmen because he's always like that. smfh
finally, if you pay close attention, he's really only rude to people who disrespect him first. OR to people who try to drag him into annoying shenanigans he doesn't want to be involved with. if someone did all that to me during a depressive episode i'd bite their head off, too -- which is every day because i have major clinical treatment-resistant depression and i feel like i know how he feels. i get where he's coming from :( and then they all STILL call him lazy. that is so fucking mean and hurtful. he is doing what he can. he's just sick. he is enough.
okay that's all i can think of right now i just really wanted to elaborate because AHHHHHHH. AAUUGHHHHH. EEEEEUEUUUUUUUUUUAUAG HE IS NOT LAZY AND HES NOT A DICK HE JUST HATES HIMSELF AND NONE OF IT IS HIS FAULT
and while i'm on the subject, Leona is actually NOT lazy or arrogant or selfish at all but some of yall are not ready for that conversation lol
#sorry i just had a very similar childhood to him and it affected me in a similar way especially in high school#i was told i was all these negative things by my abuser who felt guilty for abusing me as a child and it me feel like i was those things#so i began trying to make it true jsut in a desperate attempt to understand why they hated me#it's not an uncommon phenomenon unfortunately#just another form of self sabotage because you don't think you deserve to be loved or liked because of something someone else did#i think a lot of people can relate to him in that way#because a lot of parents will be like GRRR WHY ARE YOU LIKE THIS to their children#meanwhile the child in question is just growing up#like my sister in christ that is called adolescence#but yeah definitely a lot of people grow up with that self hatred ingrained in them#and it has been observed in therapeutic settings that children will often seek to make those insults true#he was told he scares people around him just by existing#and sometimes the hardest thing of all is to cope with the fact that you as a child have done nothing wrong but some adults will just hate u#if he was faced with having to accept that he DIDNT actually deserve to be scorned or draw 4 cards#best believe he's drawing 4 cards baby#UNO reference on the fanfic blog#i have to wake up for a doctors appointment in like 4 hours#life is cruel don't they know i just want to sleep away every day of my life and never face the world#Leona and I BOTH be like...I've seen enough#naps are life#🧸.txt#twisted wonderland#leona kingscholar#character analysis#YAPPING#twst
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questioning sexuality is so exhausting
#(edit: sorry for the rant in the tags and i just. i want someone to talk to me)#i keep on doing it for no apparent reason#someone was talking about lust yesterday and i realised today that.#even tho id thought i don't experience it. i possibly do. but exclusively towards women.#i hate it here!#for a multitude of reasons i will never have a relationship with a woman but! i may be incapable of having a relationship with a man!#at some point in the last few months i have abruptly pivoted from definitely wanting marriage and kids to being ambivalent on marriage#and not wanting kids. that's such an outlier in my life that it might just be a mental health thing tho idk#but at the same time i. want to be loved.#i don't know what i want anymore and im tired of questioning myself#i definitely overthink it but idk how to stop it#and i hate hate hate how the moral obsessions have bee lately#this isn't entirely related but it kind of is#like Am i a terrible morally bankrupt person for having certain thoughts or is it just religious ocd go brrrr?? am i overthinking it?#i don't know. i don't know!#for a while labelling myself as arospec ace kinda calmed that down but. i don't know#i do't want to be attracted to women. i don't want to have to look away so often. i don't want any of that.#but i don't know how to stop it.#i don't even know if i'm attracted to men at all.#this is a cry for help and encouragement and prayers no matter what your views on these matters are#queer stuff tag#i nearly fessed up to my friend yesterday about same sex attraction and i might've except that it would have probably outed me as#the person who anonymously sent in a question several months ago about the side b movement to a church thing#ive only told one person at church about any of that sort of stuff and it was very vaguely worded#also see: this friend is the mother of the boy i?? i don't even know how i feel about him#i increasingly think it wasn't romantic at all. but i don't know#i would love any encouragement you got. anything at all.#i don't know how much this stuff is affected by the fact that i consider myself unloveable and think it highly unlikely any boy will ever#care for me#now im rambling. sorry
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whenever people say jack and alex dated/g&c is about jalex/etc they're generally joking but i want people to know im being so real when i say that i think jack and alex were together for a brief time
#i've always been deliberately vague about how i feel about this bc i know it's an unpopular opinion#and i know people who genuinely think that certain band members dated have a bad reputation#so like i know i sound insane sometimes#but i kind of don't care anymore#i wanna share my thoughts bc i have so many but so few people share my opinion#and the thing that always gets me is that everyone knows it's there#like if there's enough reason to make jokes about the fact that maybe they dated for a time then why can't it be for real#also i want to make it very clear that i have absolutely nothing against lisa#in fact i genuinely really like her#this isn't me being one of *those* fans#i just honestly think that jack and alex were more than friends during the time alex was separated from lisa#i could write an entire essay on why i think this#(i have done fr)#i promise i'm not just pulling this out of my ass LMAO#jack#jack barakat#alex#alex gaskarth#jalex#all time low
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