#also that one is a screenshot my friend send to me
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hiii scrumptious!! i miss sending u asks
can i ask for a analysis of firstkhaotung’s kisses we’ve got so far? which is your favourite and why is your favourite, we need tongueeee
Anon!!!! Why must you torture me with this ask??? 😫😫😫 (torture me more, I love talking about FK and their kisses 🙂↕️🙂↕️🙂↕️)
But, how do you expect me to choose my favourite FK kisses?? Do you know how challenging this asked was? And I can’t possibly do an analysis of all their kisses - Our Skyy 2 alone had more than 20 kisses? (I think)… I will have to write a thesis if I want to analyse every single kisses. I was this close 🤏 to binge watch all their series but alas…I have bills to pay and a fur-baby to feed.
So���.instead, I think back to their kisses that sticks in my mind ? - it must make me feel something emotionally when I watched them (and that’s difficult cause FK is so damn good with their intimacy and NC scenes I had to think hard to narrow down my choices)
Without further ado, my top 5 list (list is only current as of The Heart Killers EP9):
No 5: Only Friends EP 2 smoky kiss plus Sand kissing Ray’s left hip tattoo
- Do I like people who smoke? No. But this was cinematic anyway. It was artistic (to me) and you could feel the sexual tension screaming from miles away. And when they gave in to their attraction, the chemistry was off the chart and Sand worshipping Ray’s tattoo was just pure magic 🪄
No 4: Only Friends EP 9 caravan scene (especially the soft, soft kiss Ray bestowed on Sand’s cheek after they have done their tango in bed 🤸)
- The softness of the whole scene was beautiful to watch. There was something pure and personal as we watch these 2 finally coming to terms about their feelings for each other.
No 3: Our Skyy 2 x The Eclipse bridge scene
-The whole scene had me giggling and kicking my legs in excitement. The boys kissing with the sun setting behind them was just.....😍😍😍
-And people talking about tongue involvement? - I am sure there were some tongue action here (also, tell me anon, why are people so invested in tongue-action? I mean i don't mind them but I am not going to fuss if FK's characters don't do them each time!)
No 2: The Eclipse Finale with Akk bestowing the soft pecks/kisses on Aye’s face
- I will always have a soft spot for my babies. As much as I adore all of FirstKhaotung characters, AkkAye have a special place in my heart. And because I can, I’m putting the whole video clip of the scene rather than gifs or screenshots 🥰
- There is something special about this scene where Akk was finally the one that made the first move; initiating the hug followed by the soft kisses. The awe and disbelief in Aye’s eyes before it shifted to soft delight and slight mischievous as he then reciprocate Akk’s gesture. I think we often forget that Aye is just as young and vulnerable like Akk. And to see Akk finally reaching out to Aye just made my heart melt 🫠
No 1: The Heart Killers EP 8 swing scene
-I love the whole damn thing - from the nuzzling to Kant sniffing Bison’s hair like he wants to imprint him to his soul to Kant gently biting Bison’s nose before they continued their heady make out session.
- This whole thing was just peak intimacy 👌. Nobody does it better than them. Their feelings laid bare, Kant is now free to be as disgustingly affectionate and loving like he always wanted to be. It’s just so so good. Also, let’s be honest, we know KantBison would continue to make out for hours on that swing.
Honourable mentions:
The Eclipse EP6 Akk fantasy kiss
*I remember watching this scene and thought - oh, Aye finally made the move. But then to find out it was all in Akk's mind???? It flipped the narrative and it made me realised that this was likely the first time we saw from Akk's perspective that he is stupidly horny for the irritating boy who keeps him on his toes
Only Friends EP9 angry-lust driven kiss in the music room
*This was just a good kiss because you can feel the anger from Sand but he was so in love with Ray that he can't help but give it. Ray as usual, clocked it and he pounced! And the sheer amount of lust pouring out of these 2....I cursed when Top stepped into the room
The Heart Killers Ep 9 KantBison sweet pecks in the sea
*KantBison making sweet memories to replace Kant's nightmare and phobia will hold something special to my heart (does it make sense for Kant to completely forget his fear? - not really, but I will forgive the narrative because I get my domestic KantBison!)
Plus…..
FirstKhaotung sweet kisses in My Fuel MV (because we didn’t get Alan/Gaipa or Alone/Kaitong kissing - I’m going to substitute with the clip we got from First’s MV and just think it’s Alan/Gaipa in them, ok?)
*Those jubi jubi kisses are giving me butterflies and I can't stop smiling every time I rewatch the MV!
#anon you made me go search for all these video clips so that I can turn them into gifs lol#sorry if the quality is not that great#I could have taken/insert it from other gifmakers but my tumblr is playing up and freeze each time I try to insert OTHER people gifs#So you get my terrible gif makers skills instead#anyway I hope you enjoy my selections lol#What about yours? what's your fav?#but in all honestly I love all their intimate kissing scenes#FK never fails to deliver#firstkhaotung#first kanaphan#khaotung thanawat#gifs made by me#the heart killers#only friends the series#the eclipse#My Fuel MV#asked and answered
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I AM AT MY LIMIT
Snoopy #90
30/12/2024
description under the cut
[description: a cartoon-style drawing of Snoopy's head. Snoopy is a white dog with black ears. His eyes are shut and his mouth is a horizontal line. There are two large blue teardrops, one under each eye. The text "I am at my limit" is handwritten across the top of the image.]
#peanuts#snoopy#art#90#based on that emoji face meme but i can't find the original ANYWHERE#at least not the entire image unedited. other than on like redbubble listings but i don't want to link those haha#if someone has a link to it please send it to me!! so i can link it in the post. thanks :)#also i have decided to start doing descriptions for each image (which i have been meaning to do for a while)#now that people actually follow this blog and interact with it and stuff#tbh i should've started doing them a long time ago#but the idea of retroactively going back to every post and adding a description kept putting me off... which is silly because it's only#gonna become more work the longer i leave it. so you know. just gotta start doing it#i will endeavour to add a description to all the previous snoopys of the day soon 🤞#anyway i made this because i sent a friend the original emoji image (taken from a redbubble screenshot LOL)#because we have been trying to book a place to stay for a group trip (6 people)#and like i did all the research and made a list to start us off (while letting people know they could add to the list) and sent that around#and made a poll for people to vote for their preferred place#and some people in the group have been taking FOREVER to respond with their opinions about accommodation#like to the point where all the other good places on the list have been booked up now and there is just one left#which luckily is the one with the most votes#and today i was like (about to book that one) ok well before i book i'm just checking that everyone is ok with these dates?#and some of them were like ohhh actually no. we haven't booked our flights yet so we're not sure which days exactly we'll be there#WHAT DO YOU MEAN!#in fairness i should've checked that we were all on the same page about dates beforehand#but like. the trip is literally in like 5 weeks AND during a public holiday like omfggggggg everywhere is gonna be booked out#do you know how hard it is to find accommodation for 6 people#and i don't even know the people who haven't been responding/haven't booked their flights/whatever#they're friends of a friend (who will also be coming on the trip) and i know nothing about them#i think i would be a lot less annoyed if it was just my friends because we would've just hopped on a call and sorted everything out in like#one night. otherwise we know + trust each other enough to make decisions for each other if we can't/don't want to be involved in planning
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Specifically thinking about long distance relationships today.
So tell me how you and your f/o would first meet online?
#I feel like Bakugou and I would meet in one of those online games he’s downloaded to mindlessly waste time between shifts#and he’s so foul at first because he thinks I’m weak but we play and he realises that I’m#actually whooping everyone and he’s like well damn okay#and now he’s messaging in the alliance chat and like getting excited when I’m online even tho he tries to hide it#and gets annoyed when other creeps in his alliance try to flirt with me#and then he’s asking for my discord#me and Sanemi get into a fight on discord the first time we interact#in some stupid big server I only joined for the emojis#but he’s a jerk so I tell him to shut up and a message later I find a msg notification and it’s him trying to continue the conversation😭#enjin slides into my dms on Instagram#he finds my post at a concert and hates the fuckboys that are commenting below#ends up messaging me to see if I’m okay but then immediately worries he’s one of those guys#Tamsy I feel like is that mutual I’ve had forever on twt and we like each others posts but we’ve NEVER talked to each other??#it’s not until I’m feeling sad at 2am and I post something self-deprecating that he drops me a msg🥺#and we end up staying up until 5am just talking to each other#Kirishima is ALWAYS the guy that responds to my ‘morning’ with a morning back! every day without fail#and I slide into his DMs one day and ask how he’s ALWAYS awake when I am??? like to say it back so quick#and he admits he’s kinda learned my schedule and he tries to be online for it because it’s one of the best parts of his day#and he likes saying it back😭😭😭 even if he’s off from a night shift and needs sleep he can’t without seeing me msg#Shindou blatantly flirts with me in a gaming discord and I think he’s an incel so I block him#he gets a friend to ping me to beg me to unblock him and I refuse#the friend then sends another message with a screenshot of Shindou basically begging me to unblock him😭#Dot and I meet in one of those AITA Reddit threads#and we end up borderline arguing over whether op is TA#so much that we get told to take it elsewhere😭😭😭#enjo#bakujo#eijo#but also catch me sending Dynamight sassy banter on his official socials😭😂
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Screenshots somebody’s DNI and has one herself saying no antis or busybodies. Cool. It’s the internet. Anything goes. That means I can rb your fanfics and save them for editing the way you save art that isn’t incestuous.
I mean, if you want to download my fics and comb through all of that incest and underage smut, that's your prerogative, man. Hope you get a boner out of it, then maybe you'll calm down 💕
#ask#anonymous#anon hate#proship#also I didn't screenshot that dni it's from a dm with my friend#i think it would be SO funny if you tried to edit one of my incest fics actually lmao#because it's not like fanart where you can just color over the blushes or something#editing takes so much time and thought#and SO MANY of my fics are JUST about the incest (ficlets/drabbles)#or the gross nasty themes are so deeply entwined with the narrative that you might as well just throw the whole thing out#so feel free! send it to me when you're done lol i bet it'll be good for a laugh#considering you'll have to half the word count and change everything about it#honestly you might as well write your own fics#but of course antis only know how to tear down and not how to create anything#also of course i save art that isn't incestuous? 🤨 i don't think about incest ALL THE TIME the way you people do#i love platonic relationships too#most of my fics are actually gen#believe it or not you can ship something AND also like their platonic relationship
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i think one of the most disappointing things is to see that your childhood friends have grown up to represent the kind of people you're disappointed in
#had a friendship break up w like one of my entire friend groups of six ppl?#found out that one of the girls in our friend group had sent screenshots of our private conversation about smth I was hurt over#to a gc with our other friends (but not me ofc)#and they all proceeded to talk shit about me :// I swear the way my stomach dropped when the friend I was having the convo w#sent me screenshots of what our mutual friends were saying about me#she knew how much it would hurt me but still did it just to prove a point (though I'm certain she misrepresented our conversation + my word#to them considering she blocked out what she had initially said to them lol)#my stomach hasn't dropped like that since high school#which is exactly where I thought we left this kind of deceitful behaviour. like how are you guys twenty one and still sending screenshots#and talking bad behind only one (1) friend's back when you know she can't defend herself in that space#I immediately texted our collective gc to explain a text she had sent but failed to give context for#then told them if I'm as selfish as they say I will leave this friend group. and then I left that gc#I also texted two friends who I knew were talking shit and I sent them the screenshots that first “friend” sent and pointed out how#she blocked out what she said so I'm suspicious that she skewed our conversation so they (the two other “friends”) should be wary#I told them I understood it was fair game to stoop. this low considering neither of them tried to reach out to me to hear my side#or defend me + my privacy#for context: the original argument was me voicing out that I was upset bc that first “friend” had invited and planned with with our friend#group an event that landed on my birthday without checking in with me if I was planning to spend time with them that day#and she kept defending herself and saying she didn't know I'd plan smth (probably bc my bday is two months away lmao) and she said#the event they'd be attending is just as important and necessary as being there for my birthday?? it's literally just a party her brother#(who none of us are close to lol) is DJing at. and I brought up how I'm their close friend (not her brother) and it's not fair to call#it equally necessary. but I suspect she skewed what I said greatly considering all of our friends started calling me selfish and unfair#but yeah v v crazy and hurtful and just astonishing#salmaspeaks
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What my Payday 3 experience has been like for the past year:
Just in case anybody was wondering about that.
#PAYDAY 3#PD3#Player Experience#fan experience#my shitty edits#screenshot#Wolf#Because I wanted him here as my moral support.#Also the 'Joy of Missing Out' painting was one that I saw at a local store me an' my ma like to frequent.#I always beeline straight for the coffee mugs and paintings 'cause I like collecting those kinds of things and I've been decorating my room#I managed to luck out enough to see this and take a picture of it to send to a friend of mine to make a joke at PD3's expense.#My only regret with PAYDAY 3 is buying it.#As a damned preorder too 'cause I wanted to play with friends and a former one was pressuring me to get it ASAP so we could play day one.#That obviously didn't happen and I had to wait for them to get it anyway. Only played it twice together.#Was an aggravating experience the whole way through and every new update just makes me so glad that I uninstalled this P.o.S..
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Character in a post-80s Superhero comic book run claiming to deconstruct what came before: Oh god, now things are really serious! Before now everything felt so easy and carefree! My life is a ruin!
Same character in a comic book released in 1977: JEEPERS! Ever since the Enlarging Man(TM) attempted suicide by firearm after watching his mother die of cancer* (*last issue) things around here sure have been dour! And now on top of that my wifes asking for a divorce since Im spending all my time with The Protecters(TM)! Can this day get any worse?!
#my friends been reading through 70s defenders and keeps sending me screenshots and they all look like that second one.#Also thats exactly what WCA was like
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You know .
#my mental breakdown this summer was actually completely explainable and while i did/said things i dont stand by#i dont actually think i was the bad guy here. interestingly.#i had to help my mom move and it triggered a huge panic attack bc of past trauma from moving house#and so now my family is saying im going insane#and my friend kept egging me on to ask out his friend#who he and i had developed a really nice friendship but he did kind of like. seem like he was trying to be my personal savior#idk i had a big crush on him bc ofc i fucking did no man has ever treated me that well before#then i jokingly tell him how i feel and he goes all serious#oh and it was four days after the 17th anniversary of my fathers suicide#who i think had bpd/ptsd#so i may be developing the same disorder . and it’s freaking me out#this guy claims he knew i had a crush on him which actually means the way he was talking to me means he was to keep my attention#(he sent a picture of him zoomed in naked hours before this so EXCUSEEE ME FOR ASSUMING)#and i started getting upset with the way i was being talked to and asked him to just say he was talking to me that way for attention#for my own peace of mind. like mind u we were talking every day throughout the day for months#voice calls would last over 5 hours. that kind of thing#i snap at him finally but immediately apologize#he then sends me a screenshot of his ex telling him ‘you have experience in dealing with mentally ill women’#followed by him saying ‘youre right. teehee love you’#so yeah duh i went to the fucking hospital it’s like someone hit me with a hammer in the head three times#then my fucking friend who goaded me into confessing to him tells me when i get out that he feels like im trying to make him choose between#when all i ever did was apologize profusely over and over again#fuck my entire ass man. oh and then two weeks later my best friend abruptly told me she was moving to maine#in two weeks. well no she didnt say that. she said can i stay at yours for a week#and i said um. what? and she said yeah im moving. and then used the fact that she had to get an abortion weeks ago as an excuse for not#telling me. and i said dude what the fuck? and she never talked to me again! so#one two three all gone BAM BAM BAM#oh this was also a week before my birthday#the trauma from moving wasnt actually abt tbe moving it was about how i was treated when we were moving#or basically any stressful family event
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Recent things.. mostly just writing screenshots lol
#There's a water problem in the apartment so thats been taking most of my attention lol.. the way maintenance happens here is just#this big long vague wait with no clear communication. You just send in a request to the apartment building and then you might hear from the#any weekday from 8am - 4pm any time after that. Sometimes it's quick but sometimes its like days before you hear anything. So then#you just have to be operating under the assumption that at any time during working hours you might get a call or a knock at the door#Like if you were expecting company at any time for a week straight ghjhj.. ANYWAY.. I've been working on making a little discord#server thing for the game maybe for playtesters to communicate in initially i guess but then also after it's out or... something like that.#no idea how all of that works. but you hear about people doing it. or something... Still not entirely sold on the idea since I'm not really#a big user of discord format speaking (like little chats and stuff) but.. again idk.. seems like.. common.. for things...(< socially odd#hermit fumbling through trying to imitate what '''normal''' people do/enjoy/desire lol..). Since I think my biggest issue is I am very bad#at socializing and thus marketing since a lot of that is social. The type to just google ''what do people do about games once they've#made them'' and just go after whatever the top 10 things apparently are hjbjhbjh... But like I said. still unsure it will be utilized. it#all feels very awkward to me. then again most things do. But that's what the ''overall progress'' screenshot is from. the little channel#where I've been posting updates to myself lol. Also ''coding'' in that being used very lightly consdering it's ren'py and I'm only using#the very bare bones most basic functionality of it lol. Extremely intense highly daunting master level coding such as ''if x then y''. gbjh#slacked on writing a lot due to the evil maintenance and such things... and just general... appointments... events... aughhhhhh#I think it's Goose Time here or something because nearly every day I hear big V shaped rows of geese flying by like multiple#times a day and they're so pretty and neat to watch. They've really inspired me somehow. Today it was rainy and gray skied and high winds#and cold (some of my favorite most beautiful weather) and I went out to check the mail and like 6 or 7 rows of geese fluttered#by in the air. I felt like that meme image of that guy that looks kind of weird (william dafoe??) and its like black and white and#he's looking up at something almost teary eyed wide eyed in awe.. The goose... those are my goose.. the universe sent those gooses just#for me and the high speed winds blowing my coat open and chilling my face... a tender platonic kiss from the world is often delivered#by way of chilly weather and bird formations.. peace and love on planet earth truly..#OH and of course.. boy with boy!!!! shout out to those little mcdonalds toy animal plushies from like 2006 or something. I found the#gray cat one and was like.. hrmm.. I have one of those as well (a real life gray cat). surely they're friends now.
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friends<3 (feat horrible background)
#my oc#my ocs#original character#oc art#pastel goth#pastel aesthetic#gnc character#soft art#my art#digital art#jayce (oc)#luca (oc)#donnarose#people see this on luca's insta and go bonkers bc they think theyre in a relationship. nah pal luca is just very affectionate lol#he never posted a single relationship bc he needs to be in one to begin with lmao and most probably it will be with a girl. jayce is a boy#hes fine being single though. with having friends is enough<3#i also imagine the funny situation where luca tags jayce's acc on the post and then he gets a message in all caps saying#'HELP *THESE TYPE* OF FANS ARE SENDING ME ANGRY MESSAGES BC THEY THINK WE ARE DATING'#followed with a screenshot of 'THIS GUY HAS A GF AND HAS SOME CRINGE ASS STRAIGHT PRIDE THINGS WHY DOES HE CARES'#the joys of being famous (on luca's case) and being friends with someone who is a celebrity (on jayce's case)#queued#you wouldnt believe since when i have this queued
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I finished Trigun Stampede. Got through the last seven or so episodes today. That was. So much. I'm going to need to rewatch the last episode or two later to process properly.
Those last couple of episodes stressed me out so much that I forgot that I already knew a second season had been announced. Fucking biting my nails heart in my stomach cause what the fuck.
#....it took me maybe one hour to watch each 20 minute episode#because of my sending screenshots and reactions to a friend.#that was. so much.#also Vash is the bestest boy.#my sweet beautiful blorbo baby boy girl son.#and because this is me. as soon as the kotobukiya vash scale fig goes up for preorder i'm ordering it lol.#gonna have to check out 90s trigun anime soon-ish#trigun#ramblings of a bystander
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my flatmate: yeah if i had a girlfriend i think i would be kind of controlling and manipulative rly i just want a guy to dress up and parade around like a ken doll im sure someone out there is into that
me (so horny im nauseous) i think i hauve covid
#U PROMISE???????? 🥺🥺😳😳#babygirl im right here u can manipulate me all u want. who said that#we were only talking abt this bc i said i kinda wanted to bleach + dye my hair bc i keep meeting so many ppl w sick hair colors at parkour#and she was like yes u should ill help u :-)))) like well i guess now i have to....... after ive landed a job tho 😔#ANYWAY.#i convinced one of my friends to play hollow knight YEAHHHHH im gradually getting them into every game i like LMAO#all i have to do is send them a couple paragraphs abt a game and then i get a screenshot back showing they bought it muahaha#i think theyll rly like it tho cuz theyre kind of obsessed w noita which i also got them into. they got that roguevania bug#and like theres similar exploration/platforming but hk is more forgiving. i need to get my ass on completing hk im still on 107%#i think i just have the pantheons + nightmare king grimm for 112%. and then ill have to replay for assorted achievements#tbh i kinda wanna get a 2nd copy for pc so i can get all achievements on steam and show them off to the world....#when it next goes on sale maybe. and hopefully before this fucking unity thing goes thru bc they might take it down urgh#.diaries
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I’m prepping reels to post on my insta account(I have one btw, just no posts on it yet), but this is so funny, I’ll share this with yall
Audio comes from a Kitboga vid
Transcripts underneath:
In the context of the vid it’s a scammer and Kitboga
Scammer(glitchy distressed screaming): DO NOT REDEEM! DO NOT REDEEM THE CARD!
Kitboga: What?
Scammer: DO NOT REDEEM THE CARDS!
Kitboga(very matter of fact/calm): Yes!
(Crosstalk) Kitboga: I’m redeeming the card. I’m redeeming the card! Okay!
(Crosstalk) Scammer: DO NOT REDEEM THE CARDS!
Beat/silence
Scammer: NOOOOOOOOOOO
#tma#artitst on tumblr#the magnus archives#art meme#animatic#animation meme#it me!#my art#love using the one piece meme as a reference#i screenshot it to send to my group chat not knowing the road it would lead me#alas I can’t find the actual convo because insta doesn’t let you find insta DMs but date#but yah#Little did I know I’d become fucking obsessed and listen it to it twice and have it control my every thoughts for 2 years#I think I’m more chill about it but I WILL STILL rant about the plot/characters to anyone who asks#or my one friend who I subject to my ramblings#you’re the real mvp#I also got into the fiction podcast world BECAUSE of tma so yah#I wouldn’t be here if it weren’t for you 😌#I mean my sis was into dnd podcasts so I probably would’ve gotten there eventually#but I’m glad I found it when I did#a
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wait also my tags on that post were about people i knew in freshman and sophomore year of college specifically. i mean some of them i knew after that and most of them i knew from high school but damn some people really made everything about themselves when i was being emotionally manipulated in my freshman year
#i cant even think about it. makes so like disappointed and upset to think about some people.#its also just crazy how some people have like no introspection abilities at all.#they'll be like 'you did x once you abused me' ignoring how they did x 15 times and y 20 times and also came at me physically violently#and i know its not a calculator. i know i cant put all the bad things we did to each other into an algorithm that tells us who abused who#like i am aware that we had a toxic relationship and its better now that we are not in contact#but it makes me shake my head when i think about screenshots people used to send me of stuff my ex friends were saying about me on twt#because those people DO think they can put every bad thing ive ever done into a calculator that will show the result that i abused them#anyway. i like to think any person who knows me well and/or irl knows thats not me and i dont talk to almost anyone from that time anymore#i still follow and talk to fee...i think i still follow joanna but she is never on anymore....#in the end there is not much use in thinking anf agonizing about this anymore. i used to go into spirals a lot like maybe i DID abuse x fri#end and i just didnt REALIZE it maybe im CRAZY but. i definitely dont do that anymore. what she said to me made me do that.#(again. emotional manipulation.)#but its so crazy to remember high school and college from my current vantage point. i've lived so much good life since then.#now i own a house. i garden (something x friend told me i would never be responsible enough for) i have a boyfriend who has been scretly#into me for over year before we started dating (something x friend always told me i was imagining in people) i have a job i find fulfillment#in (something x friend said i would never find if i kept changing jobs looking for one i liked)#i feel like i make a post ever year or so when i inevitably end up looking back on those times...and i always feel guilty for making them#because i dont want it to seem like im gossiping or slandering (even though x friend posted about me all the time) but idk#i dont go to therapy yknow. i just journal and write and think in my head and on occasion i make a blog post with rambling tags#i talk to people and learn about them and through that learn about me. i read and learn about the world and the mind.#im not saying i wouldnt go to therapy if i could afford it...but i guess im defending my right to make a post about the past every year-ish.#it helps#t
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Sometimes being the only one of my friends to be on tumblr is frustrating and sometimes it's funny. Sometimes it's both. They often send me screenshots of funny posts that broke containment and were spread to other sites, and I have to sit there like, yeah I've seen this post. I got it straight from the source and I saw it the week it was posted. You're years late to the party with a stolen post lmao
#stella speaks#or even with older posts that were viral before i joined tumblr#it's still like- i may not have been here the day it was posted but i'm still seeing the original#i mean it IS nice when they think of me when they see a post#but i've never been sent one i haven't already seen and that's also so funny to me#any post popular enough to leave this site has also been spread around here so much first#that there's a near guarantee i've seen whatever post they're sending#anyway this post was prompted by this actually happening in reverse#i took a screenshot of a post on my dash and sent it to my friend#and he was like 'oh you're viewing the original? i've seen screenshots of it several times'#first time that's happened lol
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If you’re someone who needs reassurance from loved ones that they love you, that’s really valid. But the way you ask for it matters. Hinting at it with comments like “nobody loves me” can actually be hurtful to your loved ones. It’s also a good idea to try and reassure yourself first!
The truth is that for a lot of people, giving reassurance constantly is exhausting. It can lead to issues in a relationship over time, and negative feelings on both sides because they may end up avoiding the other person. This is especially true if someone doesn't ask for reassurance directly but hints at it with things like "No one cares about me."
My advice is if you are finding yourself struggling is to first try and self soothe either with skills or things that have helped in the past. Here is my post on self-soothing ideas! And if that doesn’t work, then ask for it in a healthy way.
Some other examples.
Keep screenshots, letters, cards etc that affirm you are cared about by your loved ones. You can even ask someone to give you a recording of them saying it that you can listen to. Bonus: Keep these things in a self-care box that you can use in times of crisis and pull out that has other things in like affirmation cards, favourite treats, self care items, etc.
Examine the evidence. By this I mean try and keep a list of things they've done to show they care about you. For example, I have a list of things my partner has done for me besides saying "I love you" of both big things and little things that I can read when my brain decides to be rude to me and make me doubt he cares.
If the other person has done something specifically to make you feel they don't care, it's important to step back and look at the situation and check the facts. There's a difference between someone lying to you or doing something intentional and someone not replying to you because they got busy. Here’s my post on checking the facts!
Here’s a post on Challenging Irrational Thoughts!
ACCEPTS is a really good skill for distractions! Here's a post on it.
TIPP is a good skill if you are needing to calm down in immediate crisis. Here's a post on it.
If you're having urges to accuse your loved one of not caring, consider Urge Surfing (here's a post on it) and then using a skill or plan that helps you.
If you aren't able to self-soothe that's so valid! It really is. I recommend trying it because sometimes you will be able to. But then sometimes you won't be able to and that's okay. In this case, if you need to get it from someone, ask directly for it instead of doing it in a guilting/passive aggressive/hinting way. You might say "Hey. I know you care about me, but my brain is being rude. Can you please give me some reassurance?" instead of "Sorry I'm such a bad friend/person/burden/etc".
It might also be worth having a conversation when calm with the other person to establish some boundaries and ideas for communication.
For example, if your friend regularly feels drained by you asking for reassurance, they could set boundaries on how often they're okay for you to ask for it.
You both might decide that they will try and message you randomly to offer reassurance because it can mean a lot when that happens.
This might be where they send you messages/recordings/etc that you can read in times of need.
If the friend is doing something specifically, even unintentionally, that makes you question things then it's really valid to have a discussion about it! I recommend using some I-Statements or other communicative skills to talk about it. Even if they aren't doing something wrong, it's still valid to talk about your feelings and see if you can come up with a solution. For example, maybe it's really hard on you that they disappear randomly for a couple days when their energy levels plummet. And this causes you to spiral and think they're ghosting you or etc. In this situation, maybe you and your friend come up with a solution where you establish a single emoji (specific for this purpose) that the friend can send with low energy that says "Hey. It's not you but I'm feeling drained and need to not reply for a bit."
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