#also stop making me change my plans planning is hard i put effort in those

[greencheekconure27]

When you overcompensate for being naturally bad at planning and being on time a little too much and now family members are making you plan stuff for them too and completely fail to notice how draining that is for you.

[nottswitch]

— 𝐝𝐨𝐥𝐥.

summary: you had finally convinced Tom to take you to the Restricted Section. however, the outcome might not be something you had originally planned.

pairing: tom riddle x fem!reader

cw: 18+ smut, cockwarming, oral (m receiving), throatfucking, gagging, mentions of nausea (no actual vomiting), slight choking, orgasm denial? ignoring?? I think that’s all, if I missed anything, let me know!

wc: 3.3k

a/n: listen. listen. this man has been in my head for the last month, and recently he decided to come into my dream? that’s just rude, so that’s what you get as revenge. this fic is also a result of my pent up frustration at life rn, so do with that what you will. also, this is my first time ever writing smut and writing for tom, so pls let me know if it’s any good and if I shall continue on the path. enjoy <3

» navigation ; masterlist ; tom m.list ; how to request

You had finally done it.

You had finally convinced Tom to take you to the Restricted Section with him. After the whole month of begging almost every day, he agreed, albeit awfully begrudgingly, but you were on cloud nine nonetheless. He told you some stuff about his late-night visits to the library from time to time, but you were always burning for more information, considering your own striving for knowledge. He always said the same thing, that he appreciated your effort, but if you could stop trying to make him abuse his Prefect’s power and possibly lose himself the position, it would make both of your lives easier. But you persevered and were finally reaping the rewards, sitting next to him at the table, with a stack of ancient books in front of you, sometime far after midnight.

What you didn’t expect, though, was how absolutely fucking irresistible he would look merely existing. The books were taken out, the first one was flipped through and now they sat on the table, long forgotten, as you just stared at Tom, almost devouring him with your eyes. To be fair, the sight of him was truly divine – his face calm and concentrated, hovering over a particular book he had been studying for the last week, distracted simply to switch to his journal and take another note. His hands resting on the table, holding a quill, scribbling down lines with his exquisite handwriting… They were sinful, those hands. You had to get ahold of at least one. His left hand was in the process of mindlessly caressing the corner of the book with his middle finger when your hand slowly creeped towards it. You lightly brushed your fingertips along the outer part of his hand. No reaction. You started drawing circles along the whole area, skimming along his wrist and thumb. Nothing. You decided to go further and began intertwining your fingers together.

Finally. A sigh.

And he didn’t even look. His hand grabbed yours and put it away, back on the table. And nothing, absolutely nothing changed about the focused expression painted on his face. That was really annoying, but also… hot, in a way? Almost as if he was playing hard to get. You were already aroused just by looking at him, but his silent rejection made you nearly desperate. Your panties were pretty much soaked, and he, quite literally, barely lifted a finger.

Before you could gain control over your hand, it moved dangerously close to his thigh. You put your hand a little above his knee and gradually advanced higher and higher up his leg. Only when you were caressing his inner thigh did you hear another sigh. Tom raised an eyebrow and turned his head a couple centimeters in your direction, his eyes still on the book.

“What?” he asked, the tone of his voice only ever so slightly irritated. His composure remained intact. He wasn’t even fazed by the fact that you were so close to grabbing him through his pants.

“You look so handsome like that, you know?”

You made your best attempt to lace your voice with saccharine seduction. Your hand kept stroking his inner thigh, inching further and further up with each stroke. The only thing he did was thoughtlessly nod, as if he forgot about your existence immediately after asking the question.

You started getting frustrated and even more turned on. You moved your chair closer to his and began caressing his shoulder, brushing your fingers along his neck when they reached it. You slowly moved down to his back and arm, your nails applying some pressure on his body so that he could feel them scratching his skin even through the fabric of his shirt. It had always been one of the rare things to grab his attention, and it worked this time as well. He sighed, closed the book with his finger between the right pages and turned his head to you. His expression was that of mild annoyance, his eyebrow raised again.

“What exactly was the reason you’d been begging me to bring you here? Would you care to remind me?”

You lowered your gaze and your hand on his shoulder stopped, but just for a second. Then you continued, thinking that there was no return at that point and at least you had a chance, now that his attention was on you.

“Knowledge,” you admitted.

“And what kind of knowledge are you trying to soak up right now?”

His eyes flicked towards your hand still massaging his shoulder. You rolled your eyes and shifted in your chair at the mention of the word “soak”. But it was time for drastic measures. You stood up to crouch next to him, so that your mouth was right at the same level as his ear. Your hand moved to his inner thigh again, traveling up to his crotch and back. You felt him harden under your touch and the mere fact brought you immense amounts of satisfaction.

“Come on, Tom, love, we both know what I want right now,” you started whispering, your lips nearly touching his ear. “You. I want you. On the table, on the floor, against the wall, it literally doesn’t matter. If you don’t take me right here, right now, I will die.”

The look on his face didn’t change in the slightest when he grabbed your throat with his right hand and guided you from his left to his front, tightly squeezed between him and the desk. You stayed in your half-crouched position, trying your hardest not to tremble in the knees. The corner of Tom’s mouth lifted ever so slightly while he silently studied your face and body. His grip on your throat tightened when he lifted up his hand, causing you to straighten your half-bent legs. He shot a commanding look at his lap and, guided by his hand, you climbed there, sitting down and sighing as you could finally relax your already aching knees. But your state of relaxation didn’t last, as he abruptly spread his legs, causing yours to shoot open as well and your ass to be left hanging in the air. In order not to fall to the ground, you had to lean back on the desk, propping your front upwards, towards him.

His hand moved from your throat to the hem of your skirt. With quick and methodic movements Tom rolled it up, tucking it behind the top part of the skirt, and spread your thighs even further with a firm press of his thumbs. You felt a heatwave of embarrassment wash over you as he evaluated the state of your panties, an amused smirk tugging the corner of his mouth. A spot of wetness was wonderfully visible and on display. His eyebrow went up and down as he looked up at you, brushing his thumb in a feather-like touch along the still covered surface of your cunt. You threw your head back, partly because you didn’t want to meet his eyes, partly because your own eyes rolled to the point you couldn’t see in front of you and you could barely hold in a moan as myriads of goosebumps spread throughout your body just from this simple touch.

“Look at me.”

Tom clearly didn’t appreciate the lack of eye contact. You clenched your jaw and looked back, met by the sheer intensity of his stare. The stare that had all the power in the world to melt you into a puddle at any given moment. He brushed his other thumb over the same place again, watching your face carefully as you tried to keep your composure. Didn’t help. Your bit your bottom lip, but a sound escaped you nonetheless. Tom’s smirk widened.

“Let’s see,” he quietly muttered, pulling your panties to the side. Your cunt was already slicked and throbbing, which was even more embarrassing, because he looked like he was an inspector evaluating the goods. The smirk faded from his lips as his finger rubbed against your folds, barely spreading them apart and not reaching the clit to provide the much-needed sensation. You couldn’t help throwing your head back again, almost drawing blood from the pressure of your teeth against your bottom lip.

“I said. Look. At. Me.”

Tom uttered every word in a clear, emotionless voice, but it was the very thing that meant trouble. You looked back and the intensity of his stare only grew exponentially. He reached your face with his hand and grabbed your cheeks between his thumb and index finger, squeezing them, so that your lips formed into some sort of a pout.

“Don’t make me repeat myself. Keep looking until I say you can stop.”

You quickly nodded, intimidated by his frigid dominance. His hand went back to your cunt. He slid his fingers deeper between the folds, lightly brushing against the clit. Your hips jerked up as they tried to follow the path of his fingers, but his other hand held you firmly in place, not allowing a single extra bit of pleasure. He slid them back once more and then the middle one slipped inside you, up to the very base. A jolt of pleasure shook your body, as strong as the feeling of disappointment when he quickly removed the digit. You tried to whine but another look from him quickly shut you up. Tom raised his hand, rubbed his index, middle finger and thumb together and then separated; a sticky string of your wetness was a connection between them and a blatant manifestation of your arousal.

“Soaked. Just like I thought.”

The slightest hint of a smirk returned to his lips as his fingers reached your mouth.

“Open.”

Each of his words was stern, not leaving room for any disobedience. You opened your mouth and Tom pushed two fingers inside, pressing at the entrance of your throat and instantly making you gag. He kept his fingers there for a moment while you clutched the desk behind you to stop your body from shaking as you kept gagging, but not daring to push his hand away. A couple seconds later, when he saw you were on the verge of giving up, his fingers slowly traveled back out of your mouth. You tightly wrapped your lips around them and sucked your slick off, knowing that it was exactly what he wanted you to do. After leaving your mouth his fingers cupped your chin, as his thumb glided over your lips, covering them with the rest of your wetness.

“Now,” Tom leaned back on the chair, looking you up and down, his voice suddenly smooth and enticing, but his gaze still intense, “I see you are rather bored here with me, doll.”

When he said the word, you knew that the next part wouldn’t be so much for your pleasure as it would be completely for his. It wasn’t a meaningless pet-name for him, no, it held value. It meant that you would be treated exactly like a doll: mindless and limp. He saw your eyes widen at “doll” and a faint smirk was on his lips again: he was aware of the connotation and so were you.

“And to save you the trouble of a wandering mind, I am pleased to announce that I have a much better use for a doll like you.”

He waited to continue for a minute, letting you absorb the information and your thoughts fill with speculations. His hand brushed a stray hair from your forehead, him seeming just like a caring boyfriend for a moment.

“Kneel.”

You slowly stood up from his lap, feeling your stretched out limbs relax and almost fail to hold you up, and lowered down to your knees in front of him. From this point of view, he was even more attractive, compellingly so; it was worth it standing on your knees on the cold stone floor of the Restricted Section just for this sight alone. He slowly started unbuckling his belt and unzipping his pants, almost as if he wanted you to enjoy the show. You drank up every single movement of his slender fingers as he pulled down his pants and underwear just enough for his cock to bounce right out, against his lower abdomen.

“You like what you see, doll?”

You fervently nodded, your mouth salivating just at the thought of being able to suck him off right then. He saw the fire in your eyes and scoffed, shaking his head.

“It is no ordinary pleasure that I want from you now, doll.”

He beckoned you to move closer and you eagerly did, your face just mere centimeters away from his length. Your breath quickened as you thought about the implication of “no ordinary pleasure”.

“Now, give me your hands, doll.”

You lifted your hands and he wrapped his belt around them, tightening it to the point when it started to hurt and you knew it would leave deep marks on your wrists. Then, you tried to position yourself in a way that would allow your hands to support you, but you could only reach the floor with your fingertips.

Tom ran his fingers through your hair, in a touch almost gentle and soothing, and then suddenly yanked you up and forward, straight onto his cock, thrusting his whole length into your mouth, the tip reaching the very back of your throat. You lifted on your knees and violently gagged at the feeling, your hands inadvertently flying up, trying to push back, but the belt didn’t let you make any substantial impact. He held you firmly in place while you kept quivering and making gagging sounds, him clearly enjoying seeing you in this state. Slowly, you adjusted to his cock filling your whole mouth and your body went weak as you lowered back down, tears gathering in the corners of your eyes. You tried to look up with just your eyes, not being able to move your head; it hurt too much, so you lowered your gaze, the only thing in front of you being his lower abdomen. As you tried to shift in your place, you felt a whiff of the chilly library air against your soaked panties and the sensation drove you nearly through the roof.

“Now, doll, you have to stay like that while I keep going with my work. A fair warning out of the goodness of my heart: it might take a while.”

You blinked, trying to wrap your mind around the fact that this could continue for another hour or two. Your head was held back by the edge of the desk cutting into your nape, so you weren’t able to move at all. You were completely at his mercy, he could do literally whatever he wanted, but he chose not to do anything. As soon as he let go of your hair, he went straight back to his book, taking notes as if nothing had happened.

Time went by painfully slowly. The constant feeling of him in your mouth and throat overwhelmed you to the point when you started to twitch at times, shifting your weight to get any semblance of friction against your aching core. The position you were in didn’t allow that at all, your head being stuck firmly between the desk and his body. The most irritating thing about the whole ordeal was the fact that Tom ignored you completely, fully absorbed in whatever kind of studying he was doing. You tried to get his attention a couple of times by producing incoherent sounds and trying to tighten your lips around him, but you quickly understood that there was no use. You tried counting seconds and minutes, but your mind gave up when you reached fifteen. The only things you could think about were his cock and getting something, any type of pressure on your clit. Your wetness soaked through your panties and, you were pretty sure, was dripping down your thighs, creating a small puddle on the floor underneath you.

You didn’t know how much time had passed before you finally heard the book shut. You almost shuddered at the sound, your pupils dilating and your breath accelerating, probably close to the speed of light. Tom leaned on the back of the chair, looking down at you with one of his smirks of the devil himself. His hand ruffled your hair, pulling at it to slightly lift your head up and shove it back down, as if he was trying to gauge if you were still alive. At the sound of your muffled groan he raised his eyebrows, amused.

“The doll has some life left in her. What a pleasant surprise. You look perfectly splendid like that.”

You groaned again, the sound coming from somewhere inside your chest. You desperately wanted to look up, but your head was still pressed in its place. Tom scoffed, messing with your hair once again.

“The time has come for some more… customary activities of ours, don’t you think?”

As if you could answer. You tried to nod, but the edge of the desk only further cut into your nape, making you wince in pain.

“The doll seems to agree. Pleasure.”

He moved the chair a bit further from the desk. With more space you could finally properly breath, so you shifted in your place, your stiff legs aching as you had to follow the movement of the chair. Tom’s hand gripped your hair and pulled you upwards, releasing almost the entirety of his length from your mouth apart from the tip. The sudden emptiness made your throat clench and you felt nausea building up rapidly, although the feeling had no time to develop as you were quickly shoved down again, your nose nearly crashing against his body. Tears gathered in your eyes sprayed all over, your lips stretched even more than they already were and you prayed the corners of your mouth wouldn’t crack. The tension building up in your core was begging to be released as you were being thrusted up and down again and again, the tip of his cock stroking the back of your throat again and again, causing you to produce the most sinful gagging sounds known to man. You tried to balance on your tied up hands, but your fingertips just barely brushed against the floor as your whole body moved in unison with your head. Tom barely made any sound, a heavy breath occasionally escaping his lips. He threw his head back, his eyes closed, while you took him whole at the mercy of his hand.

At last, you felt his thrusts speeding up, sensing his release. After a couple of especially violent ones he let out a quiet groan, and you felt his hot semen filling you up and spilling down your throat as he pressed you all the way down. Your breaths were heavy but barely audible, his cock still stuffing your mouth to the brim. Tom heaved a deep sigh as you felt his grip on your hair loosening. You didn’t dare to move until he pulled you up, lifting your head with his finger on your chin, looking straight into your eyes. Your vision was blurry from tears, more of them running down your face and dripping down to the floor as they slid off your jawline. Your lips were swollen and you couldn’t properly close your mouth yet, panting in quick and dry breaths. Tom smirked, taking in the sight of your utter destruction.

“A broken doll. Truly a sight to behold.”

He leaned back on the chair again, pulling up his underwear and zipping the pants. Then, he bent down, taking your hands gently in his and undoing the belt. His fingers made their way across the deep red marks on your wrists, caressing them with utmost attention.

“You have been a very good doll for me tonight. Now, what do you say to spending the night in my dorm? The doll has to receive her rightful reward.”

[joedirtymadre]

Honeymoon Phase

AIZAWA X READER! (FLUFF!) Hope you enjoy! (Accepting requests!!)

You laid across your couch, reading a new book you grabbed after work. You sighed to yourself, you tried to concentrate on your book, but couldn’t shake off your built up frustration… “Ughh, I’ve reread this page 4 times already and I don’t even know what it’s about!” You groaned as you tossed it onto the side table. You sat up and immediately began bouncing your leg, “It’s been 2 months… 2 whole months… I know the honeymoon stage dies, but this badly?” You sighed as you sat back.

You stared at your wedding photo of you and Shota, “We’ve always been obsessed with each other… but he’s died down drastically… in the span of 2 months. We’ve barely been married for a year and he’s already tired of me? I miss the nights he would…” you felt your cheeks burn as you would think back to those long nights. You stood up and walked over to your bathroom, staring into the mirror. You analyzed your face, body, and hair, “Maybe he thinks I’ve let myself go…” You said to yourself softly.

Suddenly an idea popped into your brain. “I’ll surprise him! Though he hates surprises… but it’ll be fine! Where’s my makeup?” You asked excitedly. Hoping you would finish your plan before he arrives home.

You raced to put on some light makeup, a nice black dress, and fixed your hair. You checked the mirror and nodded, “Now onto the kitchen!” you beamed as you raced over to throw on an apron. You decided to make some curry with rice. After cooking you set up the table and placed two hot plates on the table. You looked over at the clock and rushed over to throw your apron in the laundry room. With a minute to spare you topped off your glasses with some wine and stood excitedly by the door. 

Right on time your husband slowly opened the door, “I’m ho-” he stopped himself as he was surprised by your presence. “(Y/N)?” He asked, confused. “Hi honey,” you smiled. “Hey… what’s up with the get up?” He asked as he placed his stuff down. “I-I just wanted to look nice for y-you…” you trailed off. “Ah,” he nodded. “I also made some food,” you smiled excitedly. “Oh no thanks, I had a pretty big lunch at work so I’m not hungry,” he said as he put on his slippers and headed towards the restroom. “O-Oh…” you said softly. “I’m gonna go wash up,” he said as he shut the door behind him. “Kay…” you replied. You slowly walked over to the table and stared at the plates. 

You grabbed them and decided to toss the food in the garbage. “I’m not hungry either…” you whispered to yourself as you cleared the table. Once finishing you headed towards your bedroom to undress and remove your makeup. “So much for a surprise…” you sighed as you looked into your bedroom mirror and stared at your pajamas. 

You walked back to the living room seeing Shota lounging on the sofa reading a book. You decided to continue yours, you grabbed your book and sat on the opposite end of the couch. “Did you put the food into the fridge?” He asked. “No,” you replied. “Did you eat it all?” He asked. “I tossed it,” You responded, not once looking up from your book. “Huh? Why would you do that?” He asked. “You didn’t want it, I didn’t want it. Why wouldn’t I toss it?” You asked. “I would’ve taken it to work,” he replied. You glanced over to him, and noticed the perplexed look on his face. “I wanted to surprise you with a meal, you didn’t want the meal. So I got rid of it, I didn’t want to see it later and think of how you paid no mind to my efforts,” you said coldly. “Efforts? You’re not making any sense (Y/N),” Shota said as he inched closer. 

“What am I saying that’s making it so hard for you to understand? For the past 2 months I’ve received nothing from you, you’ve changed… You used to bring flowers, desserts, tell me I’m pretty, small things like that. But recently everything stopped, I thought I was the problem… Maybe I let myself get too comfortable or let myself go… so I wanted to surprise you, I got dolled up and made a nice meal for us to sit and catch up. But-... It’s fine, it doesn’t matter…” you explained. “(Y/N)...” you heard him trail off, you felt him move closer to you. But making sure you glue your eyes to your book. “(Y/N) please look at me,” he pleaded. “For?” You asked. “(Y/N), please,” he said softly. You knew he was sitting right next to you, you moved your eyes slightly towards him. “Yes?” You asked softly, hoping your voice doesn’t crack.

“I’m sorry… I’ve been so busy with work and the students that I didn’t notice you felt this way,” he said as he cupped your face. “I said it’s fine… Everyone says the honeymoon stage doesn’t last forever. Of course you’d eventually get tired of me,” you said softly as you stared into his eyes. “I would never get tired of you. Please forgive me, I didn’t mean to make you feel like I don’t care about you. You know I’m obsessed with you, I love you,” he said softly as he inched towards you. You placed your finger over his lips, “What makes you think I’ll give you a kiss? 2 months with no kissing, hugging, spooning, or…” you felt your ears burn red as you avoided his eyes. “I’m sorry, please forgive me. I want to make it up to you,” he smiled softly as he placed your hand in his and kissed it. 

“Hmph,” you turned your face, wanting to hide your blush. “Thank you for dinner, it looked delicious,” he smiled. “It did…” you replied. “And… you looked beautiful, I had to hide away in the restroom or else I would’ve…” he trailed off. “Huh?” You asked as you turned to face him. “Well you always look amazing, but you wore that dress I love. How else would you expect me to act, but normally I always keep my cool around you. I didn’t wanna scare you,” he replied as he cupped your face again. “You noticed? I was afraid you thought it was just any black dress,” you laughed. “Of course I noticed, but I’m sorry I didn’t notice how much I’ve been slacking these past few months. I’ll do better, starting now,” he said as he stood up. 

“Right now?” You asked. You watched as he extended a hand out to you, you slowly placed yours in his. He slowly helped you up, but you were soon tossed over his shoulder. “W-Wait! Shota?” You gasped. He then walked towards the kitchen table, “And we’ll be needing this,” he said as he grabbed a wine bottle. “Now let’s go,” he said. “Go?” you asked. “Yeah, you said I haven’t been showing you any attention for the past 2 months. Well I’ll make up for that, right now. Hope you’re ready (Y/N),” He said as he headed towards your bedroom. 

You felt your face burning. Feeling nervous for the night ahead, but you can’t lie to yourself, you’re also really excited for what’s about to come.  

[cryptidghostgirl]

Make You Wish Chapter Six -- Stolas

Pairing: Alastor x Reader

Previous Part: Chapter Five -- The Conversation

Warnings: None for this chapter I don't think but please correct me if I am wrong.

Word Count: 1,568

Master Lists:

Master Lists 

Hazbin Hotel Master List 

Make You Wish Master List

A/N I promise I am working on getting requests out as quick as I can. Apologies for them taking a while, things have been super hectic recently and I am also massively depressed.

Click here and leave a comment if you want to be added to any taglists or send me an ask about it.

Y/n thanked the imp guard who let her into the office gracefully as she entered the space. It was dark, all the curtains drawn to cover the windows. The small speck of light that escaped their grasps traversed the floor frantically, bringing Stolas into high relief. He was sitting at his desk, bent over it with his hands tangled in the feathers of his hair. He looked stressed and appeared not to have noticed Y/n's presence. She cleared her throat.

"You asked to see me?"

Stolas raised his head, turning to face her with wide, nearly unseeing eyes. Long ago such a look from such a demon would have sent a shiver down Y/n's spine. Now, she simply watched him. Things had changed, she had changed. The afterlife had finally hardened her.

"Yes." he got to his feet, walking over to her, "I wanted to- what are you wearing?"

Y/n rolled her eyes. The judgment and scrutiny thick on his tongue wasn't helped by his posh accent.

"Clothes?" she indignantly responded.

There wasn't a way for her to exist around the man who owned her soul that wasn't guarded, inside and out. She crossed her arms, tapping her foot slightly.

"My dear, you look lik-"

"Don't call me that." Y/n interrupted, "I've asked you before. I don't like it."

The name was an infringement of boundaries. It simulated closeness and before today drove the nails of loss further into the muscle of her heart. In a way, it still did. Alastor was back but, he had still gone and things were still different. Y/n couldn't quite get a read on him yet, his plans and ambitions, his purpose in returning and in finding her.

She felt like what he wanted was for things to go back to normal, to the way they had been. Y/n knew that was an impossible future for her and had the slight idea that it might be for him as well. To be perfectly honest, Y/n wasn't sure she even really wanted things to go back.

The dress had been nice and she had wished for Alastor to return many times over the years but she had also worked hard for her life. She had tried, put all her effort in, and she liked the person that had come out the other side. There was a fear in Alastor's return, a fear that with him back, all her hard work would be undone. That she would comfortably let herself slip back into the familiar, becoming nothing but his guest star once again. Still, she knew Alastor, knew he would always do what it took to get what he wanted regardless of how anyone else felt about it. It was the one truly consistent thing about him.

"My apologies." Stolas sighed, "I was simply taken aback by your appearance. You look like a human."

"I know." she hummed, unable to keep the slight smile, the slight hint of warmth from her voice.

Y/n was conflicted about Alastor but she was still happy he was back, overjoyed even. The conflict didn't stop those feelings from bubbling to the surface.

"It was a gift."

"A gift?" Stolas repeated, intrigued, "From whom?"

"It doesn't matter." Y/n shook her head, all semblance of a smile falling from her features, "Why did you ask me to come?"

"Always straight to business with you." he mused, "It wasn't Blitzo, was it? I know you two are close..."

There was an unvoiced fear in his question. Y/n couldn't quite trace it's origin. Stolas was always odd when it came to the imp in question however and so, she payed it no mind. There was enough going on without any added pressure or confusion concerning the man who owned her soul and her dear friend.

"No, it wasn't Blitzo. It was an old friend of mine."

"An old friend... it wouldn't happen to be the Radio Demon, would it?" Stolas asked in mild disgust at the thought, "I saw that little show he put on, treating poor Vox so distastefully, so no use trying to hide the fact that he has returned."

Stolas knew Y/n had been close with Alastor before his disappearance. At the beginning of their arrangement, he had been so set on them being friends and had quizzed Y/n about her life at every opportunity. Eventually, Y/n's lack of equal enthusiasm beat him into submission but Stolas still drew on what he did know when necessary.

"Stolas, it doesn't concern you." Y/n sighed, "You own my soul, not my social life."

There was a tense moment, a sharp, shared gaze. Stolas relented.

"You are correct. I just know how hurt you were the last time and men like him... Y/n, they don't change."

Unbidden anxiety snuck momentarily into Y/n's mind and she beat it back with a baseball bat. These were thoughts for later, to run her hands over when she was alone in her room. It didn't matter that he was giving voice to her deepest concerns and confusions, this was neither the time nor the place to address them.

"I figured things out, learned to fend for myself." she replied, working hard to keep her voice even and respectful, "I'll do it again need be."

Stolas was not a man of violence but he was one who had a great capacity for it. Y/n knew this, Y/n was always careful around him because of this. It wasn't like Alastor where camaraderie flowed easily between them, creating an even ground in place of a power imbalance. While Stolas could on occasion be kind, pleasant, even endearing in Y/n's gaze, she always knew exactly where they both stood when she was in his presence.

"I'm just worried about you."

"Why?"

She hadn't meant to ask it. All the pressure, the changes of the day had been building up inside her and begun to trickle over the edges. She needed to be alone.

Stolas seemed equally as taken aback by her question as Y/n had been in asking it. He struggled to speak, his mouth opening and shutting several times before he finally spoke. It was as if even he didn't know the answer.

"You work for me, I don't want you ending up useless."

It was out of character and inane, they both knew it. Y/n didn't press the matter any further, ready to leave and get on with her life. Ready to sleep and see if things were real when she woke up.

"So, what did you need me to do?"

Stolas cleared his throat, comfort and authority seeping back into his being. He was such a strange man, so powerful yet so unsure. Y/n never quite knew what to do with him.

"I need the book, my grimoire."

"It's not the full moon already, is it?"

That was the deal: IMP got to use the book except for when it was the full moon. Stolas shook his head.

"No, it isn't but there is a festival in the Wrath Ring I need to conduct a ceremony at. It is a yearly event."

"And you don't have it all memorized already?"

Stolas glared lightly at her.

"I am a busy man."

Y/n was on the verge of asking if moping in his office, alone in the dark was a part of this alleged busyness but stopped herself. It was a good impulse, the one in her that avoided conflict. She crossed her arms.

"Fine, I'll bring it to you. When do you need it by?"

"Tomorrow." as if struck by a sudden inspiration, Stolas' eyes lit up, "Why don't you all come with?"

"You mean IMP?"

"Yes! It could be a wonderful time. The festival is always so quaint and joyful, I think you would like it."

"Millie would probably be happy at that." Y/n mused, a finger to her chin in thought, "And Mox. They're from Wrath after all but... I can't travel between rings, Stolas, and our deal means you stay away from Blitzo."

Stolas shook his head, laughing slightly.

"That first issue is easy enough to fix."

"Is it?" Y/n looked up at him, her brow furrowed.

It was times like this he wished his life had panned out differently. Stolas saw a friend in the demon, a companion. Instead, she was essentially his slave. Stolas had never been good at people and Y/n was no different. The line between them was wobbly at best under his command.

"I am a Goetia." he reminded her, "There is not a lot that I can't do."

"Okay then, I just never... never thought the scope of your power would include something like that. I thought it all had to do with the human realm."

"And you are a human soul."

"I guess that makes sense." Y/n shrugged after a moment's thought, "But that still leaves Blitzo."

"I wont bother him, you have my word."

Y/n could see the flash of strife beneath his cool complexion as Stolas raised a hand in oath. He was obsessed with physical representations of the immaterial, Y/n knew. It was nearly charming.

"Fine."

"Fantastic, it really will be a wonderful time. Why don't you bring that old friend of yours along too!"

----

TAGS:

@luzzbuzz @fudosl @mfnqueen1

[checkoutmybookshelf]

From Criminial Mastermind to Fairy Tale Hero: The End of Artemis Fowl

Here we are, everyone: The final Artemis Fowl book. It has been a journey revisiting the first series I was old enough to follow and fandom, and it's wild to me that we're finally at the end. Especially since I picked up the first Artemis Fowl book in late elementary school (I'm genuinely not sure when though, because the first book came out in April of 2001, when I was in fifth grade and it's very possible I didn't pick the book up until sixth grade, which would have put me at 11, same age as Artemis in that first book) and the final book came out in 2012, when I was in my junior year of undergrad. So at that point, Artemis, Holly, and Butler had been part of my life for a long time. And now here we are, to say goodbye to them again after this leisurely re-listen/read. Let's talk Artemis Fowl: The Last Guardian.

Artemis grew and changed so much across eight books, which makes sense because holy cow do kids change a LOT between 11 and 15. We get so busy living life in those years that we don't really think about how much we truly learn and grown between prepubescence and full-on teenagerhood, but that is a time of massive change, and I think that more than anything else really justifies how Artemis goes from a chillingly vampiric child to a teenager with enough compassion and empathy to understand that sometimes the right choice is a heroic self-sacrifice for the people that your people (both humans and the people, in this case) love. Artemis also did a really interesting version of that thing so many teenagers do where they hit a point where they can't just phone in their abilities anymore and have to actually put effort in, but for Artemis it was emotional rather than intelligence. And yet even when making said heroic sacrifice, we have the absolutely beautiful callback to the end of book one, where Artemis drugs his mother, Butler, and Juliet to keep them from being harmed by the bio-bomb. To stop Holly from preventing him from stopping Opal, Artemis sedates her. The more things change, the more they stay the same...

Except where best villain ever Opal Koboi is concerned. By this book, Opal is so disconnected from reality that she is willing to risk literally going nuclear to escape captivity, and then just...casually sparks off the apocalypse because if there is one thing our girl wants, it's to be Empress of the World, and if that means using spirit zombies and an ancient fairy doomsday device, then I guess it's a good thing she's already versed in black magic. Or something. Opal is fully and completely off the rails at this point, and if you catch yourself referring to yourself as "Mommy" in reference to the spirits of several scores of ancient elven berserkers who would--barring a geas--murder you for it, you might want to stop and take a long, hard look at your life choices. And maybe don't forget that you've cloned yourself, because that's the kind of little detail that can completely ruin your chances of being Empress of the World.

Holly quite possibly deserves every medal that exists for managing to drag Artemis's extremely out-of-shape butt through increasingly dangerous and high-stakes missions while navigating fairy politics and *checks notes* breaking up with her commanding officer after a disastrous date where they both got kicked out of a crunchball match. (And once again...HOW DARE Colfer leave this in exposition and not show us this amazing disaster of a date!?!?) Holly has also just been through the emotional wringer with Artemis and every time he decided to double-cross or lie by omission to bring off a plan and every time he does something infuriatingly human that drives up her blood pressure and yet makes the mission succeed. And then she has to sit there and watch him die to save humans and fairies. Seriously, the fact that Holly Short is a functional being rather than a hot mess is nothing short of a miracle.

And then we come to Butler. Long-suffering, super fucking over it, broken-hearted Domovoi Butler. Artemis got DAMN lucky that the whole "put my spirit in a clone of me" plan panned out, because if it hadn't, Holly was entirely correct: Butler would never have recovered. Butler and Opal might be my two favorite characters in the entire series at this point. That's not where I started--for a very long time, Holly was my favorite character, and Commander Root still gets an honorable mention--but as a grown-ass adult (I'm not doing that math for you, if you want to know that I'm old, you do the math), I cannot escape how dedicated, competent, kind, and just AWESOME Butler is. I feel like the vibe here is very similar to the thing that happens when you watch Sound of Music as a kid and either Maria or one of the kids is your favorite character, but when you come back to it as an adult, Captain Von Trapp is EVERYTHING (RIP Christopher Plummer, we loved you). Butler has a similar vibe but in a different genre.

So, I was an adult and had enough experience of watching fandoms to see the mixed reactions to this book being released. People were sad the series was ending, people were disappointed because the series had seemingly drifted, and people loved it. My reaction was pretty mixed, because I had a lot going on, I knew there were good things here but I was also kind of missing the heisty, criminal mastermind vibes, but also OPAL KOBOI. So I was pretty unsure how to feel about this book when it came out, and then I didn't reread it for literal years because I went to grad school.

Returning to this book now, I have suuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuch respect for how Colfer tied up the series and how he pulled off a new Irish mythological cycle, but updated for the twenty-first century. I have enough life on me to appreciate the changes Artemis goes through, and enough literature degrees to have a new and deeply fulfilling perspective on the series structure. Last Guardian is not my favorite book of the series--it's not even in the top three--but I think that what it does is genuinely impressive and I love how you can finish this book and go instantly back into the OG Artemis Fowl. The story does not, strictly speaking, have to end. And that is a vibe I can 100% get behind.

I deeply love the Artemis Fowl books, and I cannot recommend the series enough. They have so many strengths, are incredibly well-written, and they live rent-free in my head even now as an adult.

[mmc-veronica]

A≒A'≠A - A’ English Translation

Trigger warnings: Death and suicidal ideations

UM. so i finished this quicker than i thought i would. THERES A LOT OF STUFF HAPPENING IN THIS TRACK… i did translate/format half of this on my phone so sorry if its a bit wonky 😭 when i first listened to this i remember being kind of like “?????” lol… also i.. have not proofread this so sorry for any mistakes. anyways, translation under the cut!

Hello? Honey? It’s Etan~

Actually today I have a feeling that I can get home early today, so maybe we can see each other soon~...

Eh?! For real? Then let’s just meet up somewhere… by the way, where are you right now?

Oh, oh, then that would be closer to Tokyo Station.

I’ll be there in forty secon… no that might be impossible, but I’ll be finished with work in five minutes so wait for me somewhere, or you can just go ahead and meet me at my place, that might be a bit more convenient!

Alright! If you get there before me, feel free to make yourself comfortable! Then I’ll see you later, mwah!

It’s been a while since I’ve been this tired… Yo, yo! My Honey’s shoes are already here!

Honey~! Are you alright? Did you bump into anything? I’m home, I’m home, I’m home!

This situation where I come home and my honey’s right in front of me… Isn’t this a bit too good? It’s so priceless that my heart won’t stop racing! Hug~!

Hah… this is nice… coming home from work and being recharged with my Honey!

All my worries and stresses from today are replaced by happiness that I feel like I could redo this entire day and feel fine~

Huh? Of course, I’m fine! I seriously hurried over here after those five minutes, you know!

Could it be… Did my Honey make me something or do something for me?!

Are you serious? That’s seriously the best! By the way, what did you get for me? What are you going to make for me?!

This is so good~ Anything you make is good! Like, seriously, somehow everything tastes like my Honey!

It’s okay! There’s nothing to worry about! This handmade hamburger steak is a given, and once this frozen potato side dish was warmed up it’s Honey-flavored, right? Mmm so good…!

Thank you for the meal~ Thanks to your nice surprise I’m in such a good mood! I’m so satisfied that I’m filled with so much inspiration for ideas for a new song!

Right, right! Well, even once the release relay starts, we NSFW are the exciting last performers, so we’ll start putting in some serious effort soon~

Well, yeah, kind of. When it comes to the performance we haven’t thought of anything yet. The other members are still out and playing around. Even so, I think we still have to produce a happy song that breaks our boundaries, so the people who listen to it will be so happy that they want to start dancing!

That’s right, as the ambassador of this name I want to keep working hard.

Well that was the plan, since my happiness has reached its limit. But you see… Mm… There are some things I need to start cleaning up… before I properly become an adult…

Well before that, Honey over here! Come over here!

No, no! That can wait until later, It’ll become a hassle!

When it comes to cleaning up, I’ll properly do it all later, so…!

I caught you~ so from here on out its the start of my dessert time~

This is…! Hyper delicious sweets! Not even a ten star rating will cut it! Just one bite won’t do, so I’ll just have to take my time with having a taste~

I’m so refreshed! Then Honey, you were alright with… Yo yo?! What is this! Isn’t this a sight! My honey, wearing my shirt and sweatpants! Oh… this is too attractive…

Oh okay, okay, help yourself to any drinks! And why are you watching the news? That’s a bit bland!

I see, I understand the sentiment. Background noise just to keep your nerves at bay is always good. Especially if you’re alone.

Yeah, you’re right. Except I’m not sure what’s been changed specifically. The drinking and smoking age has been the same. Passports… you can get after ten years, right? Damn! I don’t know if it’s because of this country or not, but if someone goes out on a whim and decides to become an adult then that’s a bit of a problem~ Even with me, there’s a lot of stuff I need to do.

Hey, honey? You call me A, right? Ever since we started dating.

Yeah, true, but… For one, you don’t call me by my real name so it’s fine and I like you calling me A but…

I am A but this- If I said I was a fake A, what would you do?

Did I scare you? I guess we are similar~

I’m actually a twin. The one on the right is me and the one on the left is my older brother. The real A, without the dash.

The one that started the band and went by A, that wasn’t me. That was my brother. But…

He died.

A bit before we turned fifteen, he was crossing the street and a truck came… He… He… I’m fine. I’m fine now. I’m sure you can guess what happened. What I couldn’t say all this time, was this. Whenever I think about what happened, I can’t stop from panicking, so I've made sure to try not to think about it. My parents and doctors have all said to hurry up and forget about it, but not just the incident. They want me to try to forget about him as well. But, I can’t help myself. Especially recently. I have to keep him in my memory, or he’ll be scared right? I keep aging, but he’s alone, in the body of a kid. To think that he’ll be forgotten by everyone…

It’s kind of too late for this, but can you listen to me? About the real A that you don’t know.

I’ll make sure that I’ll remember properly, so if it’s you, it’ll be okay.

Yeah. Of course I know. No matter how stupid I am, I know you’ll wait for me. Up until now you’ve done that already. I won’t push myself. So first I want to talk about some of the easier stuff.

To outsiders, we were both little troublemakers. But, on the inside we were actually good! Basically, we would come up with ideas and run around messing with the adults! Well we were identical, right? So we would switch classrooms and see how long it would take for them to notice! Right?! But if no one notices, it takes the fun out of it, so in the end we would just tell them ourselves, especially him. I would say to him, “We were doing so well, so why did you tell them?!” and we would get into arguments, but, when we came up with our next prank, we would just make up without a word.

We went into middle school, and he suddenly said he wanted to join the light music club. I liked music too, but I never thought of doing it myself, so I was a bit surprised. I guess it was then… the crowds of people we hung out with changed bit by bit, but we still got along well, it was what it was. When he started being the singer for the band he was in with his buddies, it felt like he kept getting sucked in by the music. He was all like, “A musical star being born doesn’t sound that bad!” and I started watching his practice sessions with my friends. When we were third years, they had a farewell stage at the cultural festival, and of course he was super excited, but he got sick out of nowhere! I would say he got too excited and he got sick. Catching pneumonia and going to the hospital, coughing everywhere, he kept saying “I let down my bandmates and underclassmen,” I felt bad for him so I said, “Well, do you want me to stand in for you just this once? We look the same and we sound the same, so if I copy your singing we can just trick them like that!” Just like we did in the past.

Yeah. I sang in his place. I thought I did perfectly… Well yeah, in the end we were figured out. Well, I guess we revealed it, he did, that is. I’m not sure. That’s what I wanted to ask. Then, that day, I met with him on the way back from class, and… From that time, I really can’t remember much. No matter how hard I try, I can’t recall anything. When I came to, I was in the hospital. No, I wasn’t injured, but…

Yeah. That’s why I don’t like hospitals, even now. I blacked out without even realizing, and when I woke up, I was told that he had passed, and I couldn’t even attend his funeral. I was the one that invited him, and if I didn’t do that, then the incident wouldn’t have happened…

No, I’m fine! If I’m able to tell you this much, I can keep going. I want to tell you everything.

It was from there, where I started thinking, “I want to hurry up and die.” That was all I could even think. Even after getting discharged from the hospital, I was a mess, and I felt like even eating was meaningless. Then, I just started messing around here and there, and was surrounded by weird people. Yeah, the weirdest people I’ve met up until now, those are the current band members. That’s kind of the punchline here. Well, I’m not sure why, but they told me they wanted me to sing for them, but once I thought about it, I thought that it wouldn’t be that bad. And I could stand in his place… because the one who really wanted to sing was him, but he can’t anymore, so there’s only one thing that I can really do. But, I didn’t want to steal his spotlight, so I put ‘ at the end of my name. I’m A, but I’m also not. An imposter that is identical to A, A’. Well that’s obvious, isn’t it? We were seriously inseparable, where one of us was, the other was there also, and we would always go to each other for advice. If we were together, I thought we could do anything. No matter how old we get, nothing would change, is what I thought but… but then why… If that’s the case I should’ve died instead… I wonder, I don’t even know what really happened. I don’t even remember. Before the accident, we were just chatting, and according to the police, it turned out the truck had ran a red light, but… Even then, I blamed myself, that I was in the wrong… No way. There’s no way. If he was here right now, he would never blame me. That’s the kind of person he is. If… I was really in the wrong, he would probably just laugh and say, “Seriously, what are you doing? Rather than that…!” Huh? No… it’s nothing. Yeah. No matter how many people say we’re so similar, I can only think that he was more mature than me. We’re twins, but I can only think that he’s my older brother.

Maybe… Well, there’s not much I can do! He’s not here anymore, and I need to make something of myself. To make something of myself… that’s…

I know. Becoming A’… it wasn’t a mistake. I met you out of it too. Right now everyone’s waiting for me. The A with a ‘’s songs. From starting as an imposter…I couldn’t do it without reason.That’s why I said at the start, that it’s okay. I wonder if he’ll forgive me too, if I keep using the name A’ and continue making songs. Me? Yeah… I think he’d say “Go for it, as long as you’re having fun.” Well of course you’d get along with him! If you can get along with me, then you could with him. I guess it was all in my head… If I think about the type of person he is… then I have a feeling it was.

Haah… Yes!! One song finished~! No matter how I think about it, this is good! Now that’s said and done, the second song… I can leap this hurdle easily. I guess regaining motivation does help…

Why isn’t there a towel hanging here?!

Sorry, I guess I can’t reach you yet. I guess you knew that already though. But I hope you’re waiting excitedly for all the stories I’m going to tell you. I’ll have fun for the both of us. Even singing, and this dazzling world of adulthood.

[sorry-apsalar]

Frender Drabbles: Games

Summary: i'd like to see bender acting like a depressed widow, like he always does when fry is even a little bit angry at him. or maybe leela acting as their message transmitter when they're angry at eachother 'n don't want to communicate in person, so she gets fed up and forces them to reconcile.

~

“I don’t even know what they’re fucking fighting about anymore.” And now that she thought about it, Leela wasn’t sure they’d ever bothered to tell her. “They literally live together but when they want to say something to other they text me, telling me to relay the message. It’s driving me crazy.”

Sitting at the bar next to her, Amy patted her on the shoulder. “Have you tried not playing their games?”

“Well… yes but then they don’t talk to each other at all and that’s only gonna make it worse, right?” Leela wanted them to make up, both for their sakes because usually their friendship brought them happiness but also for her own sake because then they could stop bothering her as much.

“Girl, you need to stop being such a people-pleaser. Let them sink or swim on their own for once.”

“I don’t know, that doesn’t feel right but… maybe you’re right.” Playing their games certainly didn’t seem to be helping them reconcile. “Maybe it’s finally time to start putting my foot down.”

As if testing her, her phone pinged. It was Fry. She took a long drink from her rum and coke before opening it. Just to read in case it was actually important.

‘could you tell bender to turn his emo music donw its making it hard ot sleep thks’

It took more effort than it should’ve to close the chat window, turn off the screen, and pocket the phone but Leela did it. They could figure their own shit out for once. She was done with their bullshit. … “Or perhaps maybe, instead of playing their games, I could force them to play my game… metaphorically anyway.”

Amy raised an eyebrow. “Like force them to talk?”

“Yeah. I mean, the ship’s pretty small and Fry’s a good enough polite by now that he probably won’t crash it if it’s just him and Bender aboard.” They’d gone on delivery mission without her before and been fine. Granted those times had been when they’d been on good terms, them fighting might change things.

“Ooh, and if it’s a long enough mission, they’d for sure either kill each other or come back as friends. Either way they’ll finally be out of your hair.”

“Or they might crash because they’re distracted by fighting.” Which would be a good reason not to do it. “Though, the auto-polite just got updated again so it should be even better at preventing crashes so… it’d probably be fine as long the space around them isn’t too populated.”

“So it’s decided then, next delivery mission you’re gonna get seriously suddenly very sick right before boarding, leaving them to go alone and hopefully finally sort their shit out?”

“I guess so, yeah.”

“Cool, if you need a good fake vomit recipe I know several. How good’s your fake retching?”

“Uh… not great.” Leela had never had to fake being sick before.

“That’s okay you can practice when we’re sober. I’ll show you how it’s done.”

“It’s a plan then!” Leela raised her glass to clink against Amy’s before downing the rest of it in one go. They’d come here to have a good time so by golly she was gonna have a good time.

[scoonsalicious]

Mother Pookie, i can’t believe you did it!! THE UNWANTED SERIES HAS FINALLY COME TO AN END (well we still have some naughty naughty smutshots but still it’s the end of the main story!!!)😫😫🩷🩷😭😭

The ending brought me to tears! BUT DAYYUM, hornayy pocket?!😏 on the balcony?!😏😏 mhmmmmmmmm (plus both of them r so cute!! calling eachother baby, honey kyaaa!! its so sweet that ants are crawling into my phone)

real footage of bucky on a conquest to defile their apartment (from the kitchen to the bathroom to the stairs to the balcony to the living room to the open yard to the roof, on the kitchen counter on the floor on the table on the couch on the bed on the tub on the wall, in front of steve, sideways, frontways, backways, downways, backways, everyways)

Chapter 29 is sooooo gooood. The talk is everything, and the last revelation/betrayal?! I KNEW IT. STEVE YOU MOTHERFUCKER. I TOLD YOU TO BACK THE FUCK OFF.

The audacity for him to question why Pocket forgive Buckbaby but not him? U R THE PROBLEM STEVE?! DON U GET IT? If it weren’t for you, ALL of this wouldn’t happened. She lost Buckybaby because of you, she lost her actual unborn baby because of you, she lost to her spiral BECAUSE of YOU! That fucking bastard. Do you know how fucked up it is? (flashing back to the chapter he almost slept with pocket). Steve thinks too highly of himself. All he ever did was for himself, not Pocket. Selfish. FULL. STOP.

His reason was because Bucky apparently in the 40s never been in a long-lasting relationship? That he’s (buckbaby) gonna get bored. FFS. THAT IS NOT UP FOR YOU TO DECIDE AND CONTROL. What a jerk. And then fantasising to be the ✨‘knight in shining armour’✨? RIDDICULUS. (even then he’s using Bucky as a reason and not himself, point — selfish)

He never respect their relationship. CAP. He’s a douche friend. I take back all of my words that I love his action (because he didn’t pounce on Pocket by listening to her rant) I DON’T (i can’t believe i was being optimistic at this dude😭) Now it makes soooo much sense why he’s guilty (and not pouncing at her). Why he acts like a ‘goody two shoes’, in front Pocket, thinking it will make her ‘loves’ him. He’s holding himself, again, not for her, but for himself. For his wants. That’s why he didn’t want Bucky to replaced Sammy because he wanted to be her knight in shining armour. (plus the thought of the couple getting back together must’ve crossed his mind, he fears that, but he hoped, he hopes onto the fact which he didn’t know the story fully that Bucky fucked cuntsy, a factor he could use to convince himself that he had a chance with pocket and use it as a reason, again, selfish, ANOTHER DELUSIONAL)

And his apology… man it was sooooo… bland. No remorse. None. Zero. Nada. It’s like he’s not even putting an effort to be guilty. He thought apologising would make Pocket change her mind and forgive him (igniting the hope inside him that he has a chance with her, being her knight in shining armour again), BUT HE THOUGHT WRONG. Sucks to be you Steve.

STEVE IS A BAD FRIEND I REPEAT STEVE IS A BAD FRIEND. HE IS DELUSIONAL. ANOTHER DELUSIONAL IN THE GROUP.

It has been such a ride, waking up early in the morning to read this amazing series, critically thinking theories and cursing at cunthage, steve and at some point buckbaby. Also crying to myself because i don’t have a bucky barnes to hold me😂. Thank you thank you thank you for having me as your reader and replying to my overdramatic messages😂 I am a bucky barnes girl, i can’t get mad at him, he’s everything (he’s at fault, im not defending him, but that’s what make him even more lovable, the fact that he has flaws and trying hard to fix himself, he deserve to be happy, and like what Pocket therapist said, don’t think back about the past, what important is the present and future)

I love Pocket, I love Bucky, and I love you Mother Pookie.🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍

I can’t wait for WFLT, those smutshots and other projects you’re planning in the future.🩷🩷🩷

Hi, Pookie!

I know! I can't believe we're here at the end! Or, rather, the end of this chapter of Bucky and Pocket's story. I have so much more planned. I really do.

Of COURSE Pocket is horny AF; it's literally be a year since she and Bucky had sex and she. is. tired. of. it! She is severely lacking in Vitamin D and it is affecting her health, lol. Heavy deficiency over here. Like, it's adorable they're being sweet with each other, but she is ready for some spice, iykwim. I also think she's so hazed with horny that it completely slipped her mind that Tony would 100% be able to see her have sex with Bucky on the balcony, lol. Poor man doesn't need the trauma.

Speaking of sweet: Please watch your phone and make sure to clean it extensively from all the sweetness, lol.

Okay, this--?

"real footage of bucky on a conquest to defile their apartment (from the kitchen to the bathroom to the stairs to the balcony to the living room to the open yard to the roof, on the kitchen counter on the floor on the table on the couch on the bed on the tub on the wall, in front of steve, sideways, frontways, backways, downways, backways, everyways)"

Had me CACKLING, and completely reminded me of this, which then caused me to go down a Jimmy Kimmel v. Matt Damon and reminded me that it's the greatest fake feud of all time, lol.

Pookie, I am so glad you loved the story, and I am so glad you took the time out of your schedule to read and respond, to engage and be part of the process! I can't wait to share more with you going forward!

[a-d-nox]

Hi, this is my feedback for your Tumblr game. First off, thank you very much for this.

I'm actually both happy and anxious to start the new year with a blank state. I love that I have a whole lot of possibilities that might happen in my life the next year, and at the same time unsire if the efforts I did in the past would finally fall into fruition in 2025. I also appreciate how you mentioned learning to appreciate everything in the sense of nothingness; I believe that's something I needed to hear. Yes, I've been internally working on my self and hobbies which make me hopeful of finally materializing my goals. It sometimes slips my mind that every part of the journey, even in moments where nothing ever happens, is just as important for me to go through. It was also interesting hoe you mentioned about me not being too strict with hard-fast rules. That was another thing I felt I needed to hear, because I agree, living means experiencing every moment of my life - both the good and the bad. I guess, ever since I realized how unfairly treated I was before, I made a vow to myself never to be in those kinds of situations again. Then again, I never know what'll happen in the future and I can't plan for everything, I can only equip myself to be better prepared for whatever comes my way. I also agree with your comment that I would need to really put myself out there as things won't just msgically fall into my lap. There are still moments of doubt within me, but I'm determined to push through them and do what I want (without stepping on anyone else).

I love how my determination about my plans and aligning with my purpose showed in the reading. I aim to bravely face challenges coming my way, and asking for help when I can't handle it on my own anymore. Of course, I also aim to balance it with resting from time-to-time. This has been a constant message for me: everything is an instant loop. Things could change, and I may be in a completely different situation the next moment. I know that and I strongly try not to control my situations anymore (which I think I have improvement), but the uncertainty of it all still gets to me sometimes. I was also surprised when you brought up about an idea I have, because yes, I do actually have one. It's something I'm investing lots of time and knowledge at the moment. There are also parts of it that still seem mysterious and vague to me, so I'll take into consideration the importance of the 8 of wands in my situation.

This was a pleasant surprise: reading that 2025 will teach me how to just be and know that it's enough. It's been quite a long time since I felt that and that makes me more hopeful for what's to come. I do try to keep om giving myself chances to learn, even if I have moments of disappointments sometimes. Besides, learning never stops.

Currently, I went back into journalling and it's helped me self-regulate much better. Still, I would also consider these questions for further reflection.

This was such a positive comment for me to read. I know I've put in the work, but sometimes I get lost in the thinking that maybe I didn't do enough. It's comforting to know I've completed my cycle as I genuinely and devotedly tried to better myself for myself, people I care about, and my aspirations.

Again, thanks for this reading. It deeply resonated <33

thank you so much for coming back with this reflection and feedback!

that's exactly right you never know - no one can predict everything - we can certainly try. if we lived by that - avoid the possibility of mistakes, mistreatment, familiar lessons, etc - we might not make it outside in the morning. you know yourself at this point take a chance on people - recognize familiarity THEN decide whether moving away or staying close is purposeful! keep doing you!

-a.d.

[awkward-fink]

Hi, Fink! Welcome to the weekend! I hope you'll get to relax a little bit! ^^ I hope it's okay if I send you more of those ask thingies :>

How about 🍓, 🍐, ✈️ and 🎵? Wishing you a nice weekend and a nice day! :>

This is fun! Thank you for giving me all this questions, I love it! And welcome to the weekend as well, i tried sleeping long, but my dog didnt want me to. He woke me at 7 am to go out for a walk. That Diva, I swear.

🍓 favorite food

Mushroom Lasagna, generally every kind of Pasta to be honest, but Mushroom Lasagna is always such a love dish for me. It takes time and effort, and I probably only get this dish twice a year but it’s a highlight. And Spicy Buldak Ramen. I LOVE spicy food; I can’t get enough of it. I might cry, but it’s still sooo good and I can’t stop eating.

🍐 if you could make one character real, who would it be

Dobby, the house elf. He would have such a good life with me, if he wanted that is! (And if the whole magic problem wasn’t a problem.) He could clean all he wanted, fold clothes and - yeah, my apartment is kind of messy.. But if it would not be Dobby to help me get my life back on a tidy line, it would probably be Honey Mitsukuni from Ouran Highschool Host Club. Because, as if Honey wasn’t awesome enough, Mori would never be far behind. And really you get a puppy who can also be the most scariest person in the world, with his guard dog, who can be the sweetest person around in one package. Only hope that they would like me though or else I would have some real problems…  

✈️ favorite place you’ve traveled

Ireland. Hands down. I loved Prague, no questions asked, but my love for Ireland and the people living there runs deep. I am dreaming of travelling to Scotland and see the country for myself, but Covid destroyed that plans a few years ago. Ireland has so much more tones of greens, the landscapes, the wilderness, the purple mountain, the solitary Dolphin playing with the boats, the loving people there bullying you to eat with them (really, you couldn’t say no to this sweet old 80ish lady sitting at the shops down at Doolin, looking out to the sea waiting for someone who will never come back and inviting every poor visitor to come eat with her this evening. We had a blast!)

My heart beats for Ireland, if I could buy property there, I would, if I had the money.

🎵 favorite artists

Ugh…. Mhmm… Hard. It differs to be honest. My taste in art and music is so very diverse… And its ever changing, so my fav artists are also changing. And, do we put writers under the artist tag as well? Then it gets even more complicated!! At the moment, my fav music artist is NanowaR of Steel, Takida and Ninja Sex Party (NSP).

My fav art artist would be, at the moment, everyone doing art on tumblr because people you are fucking awesome, and I love every single thing! And Hercules Segers. I love his landscape drawings. And my all time fav artist would be my friend, who is a goddess with her dads old camera. Nowhere to find but in my heart.

[mbti-notes]

Anon wrote: Hello mbti-notes, 28F ENFP here. I have written to you a few times, one of them about my relationship with my 27M INTJ boyfriend and the other about my childhood trauma regarding my ENTJ mother and how it was keeping me from pursuing my art career.

I have been on the road of Fi development and lately I have started to develop Te. Some major life events happened since the last time I wrote to you; I had gotten diagnosed with ADHD after suspecting having it for years; then, my younger cousins got diagnosed with level one autism (Formerly known as Aspergers), and after my mother conversed with their mothers, we reached the conclusion I and other members of the family are also autistic and ADHD, since I displayed symptoms of both as a child.

With this new knowledge, I have been making all the changes necessary to accommodate myself and do the best I can and pull my own weight. I am almost finishing University, and my boyfriend (he’s pretty much my husband at this point) started his doctorate and is now an art teacher at our local arts University. (those issues I had written to you prior were resolved and we have been very happy together and supportive of each other since).

I have been slowly tearing down my perfectionistic tendencies; I am no longer unhappy about my work or extremely self-critic to the point I put myself down. I have gained confidence and trust in myself and handling problems, crafting solutions, planning (even if short-term) and improvising. I have been re-enganging my Ne in a healthy manner, focusing on my projects and progress instead of being scattered and wanting to do everything and anything.

Despite that, and all the growth I have done already, I feel that I have an unsurnamable mountain of obstacles to pass through. Over the last year, I have realized just how little my ISTP, probably autistic and bipolar father and ENTJ, probably ADHD mother completely failed to prepare me for life. I was emotionally neglected, made a scapegoat for their problems, made to pick up after myself because of my autism and ADHD being seen as failures of character instead of disabilities.

They saw I was intelligent, and rationalized it as “not needing help”; then, when my problems with executive disfunction and organization started flaring up due to their neglect, they yelled and blamed it on me, worsening the situation. I grew up with no understanding of boundaries; I wasn’t allowed to advocate for myself and everytime I tried I was yelled at; I wasn’t allowed to discover myself and my identity properly so I clinged to my special interests like a moth to a flame; I was shamed for my way of functioning and that impeded me of developing proper knowledge of myself and what I needed.

I now notice my social differences, my trouble dealing with and regulating emotions (and why I put off dealing with them), and my lack of social skills and differentiating levels of relationships. I feel angry that the time I needed to be using to deal with these issues, during adolescence and early adulthood, was taken away by autistic burnout, depression, and dealing with a disfunctional family who had no idea how to care for me and never tried to, and spent pursuing bad relationships, hyperfixations and changing interests, all the while not being able to put effort into what I really wanted because of the shame and judgement they placed on me.

I have been trying my best to pick up the slack, but it’s hard. I can see now how I was unjustly punished for my differences my whole life. I finally understand now why people get upset with me with things like being unable to regulate tone or asking clarifying questions (when I’m just trying to understand them).

I have accepted myself; I know my difficultities now and I know what I have to do to regulate myself, but I still can’t stop feeling angry at this injustice. I do my best to be proactive and helpful in the communities I join and make friends, but people will turn on me the moment I do something impulsive like vent to chat about my parents doing something rude to me that day (which happens regularly). The bridges I put effort into building get destroyed in minutes, and I feel like all my progress is undone.

Family is a tricky issue for people, I get it. There are different times and places to say things, I get it. But It still happens. I know the way to fix it would be to leave, but due to the housing crisis, inflation and my expenses of trying to finish my degree, I can’t move out of this place and still currently live with them. Rent is unnafordable, my boyfriend is going through his degree and busy, and I’m already at capacity fully comitting myself to art and doing the best job I can with chores and house stuff.

I know my parents have issues and I try my best do understand and be empathethic, but they aren't doing anything to get better or to resolve them. My dad is on disability and unemployment aid right now, he does minimal chores and watches TV and sleeps all day. My mother is a pre-school teacher and constantly overworks herself because that's how she learned to get through life.

A few months ago, my mom almost ended her marriage because in her words, she developed a "platonic crush" for another man. It was a huge fight, and one they tried to drag me into. When they're not having outright fights, they act lovey-dovey; but they soon have another nasty fight, and the cycle goes on.

My dad is extremely misoginistic, judgemental, and cynical. Everytime he tries to engage me in conversation, I act uniteresting so he leaves me alone. I am uncapable of building a relationship with them after all they did to me.

I just can’t stop feeling I got dealt a sh*tty hand in life and there is nothing I can do about it. I realize this is Si grip talking, but this enviroment completely kills all my optimist, motivation and will to move foward in life, and I’ve been doing this dance for way too long and just want it to end once and for all so I can keep progressing. I know I’ve already come a long way, but I can’t stop feeling it still isn’t enough, and I’m afraid that feeling won’t ever go away. So I turn to you for guidance on what to do.

Currently I am sitting on a few unfinished projects (a comic and animation) that will be my portfolio só I can start working while I finish my degree. My parents are paying for the remainder of it (honestly, the least they could do after the horrible lifetime they gave me) but I plan to start paying for it myself as soon as I get some work. I guess what I'm trying to get at is that I'm doing everything to try and make things better, but I feel like they never will, and I don't know how to deal with that.

----------------------

Whenever people tell me about how they're making progress, even trying to develop lower functions, but also suffering from inferior grip, the alarm bells go off in my head, because it usually indicates some form of troublesome denial. In terms of type development, inferior grip is one of the most serious signs that something is not right psychologically.

I never want to poopoo on people's efforts to improve. I definitely believe that you've been putting forth your best efforts. However, if the outcome is inferior grip, it means there's a problem with your approach or method.

The way that you're stuck in blaming your parents for your misfortunes is not just a sign of Si grip, but also Te loop. If you're suffering from Te loop, it means Fi development hasn't progressed to the point where you are ready for Te development. Being a lower function, trying to develop Te when you're not ready is only going to exacerbate Te loop and eventually lead you into Si grip.

I won't deny that the people around you every day have a big influence over you. As a Feeler, their moods can easily affect yours. When that happens, the best thing to do is to draw up boundaries, to try to shield yourself from those negative influences as much as possible. However, what you've done is the opposite.

You've been drawn into the negative influence through blaming them, fighting back (mentally), judging them for their flaws, indulging pointless "what if" scenarios about your past, etc. In short, you have been swallowed up by the negativity partly because you didn't do enough to protect yourself from it. This is related to Fi development because Fi should inform you about what is needed for self-protection.

Now, since you find yourself in a hopeless place and can't accept the feelings of helplessness, the recourse is Te loop. You wish to actively "correct" everything that you perceive is "wrong". However, this is a futile endeavor. Why? Because those things are not for you to correct. You have overstepped/violated boundaries by wanting to solve problems that aren't your responsibility. This only serves to entangle you in them.

Your mom and dad's flaws, your mom and dad's relationship, are none of your business, but you are all up in there. Even if they try to involve you, as an adult, you have the power to refuse. Because you care about them, it's hard for you to refuse, but refuse you must. That's what it means to draw healthy boundaries.

Yes, it's tragic to have been deprived as a child. One thing you realize more and more deeply as you get older (especially if you have children of your own) is that parents are human, their knowledge is limited, and people can only do the best they can based on what they know. Many, many people are ignorant about psychological issues because they have had no opportunity to learn about them. What's worse, sometimes what they have learned is misinformation or outdated information based on what was being taught when they were growing up.

I say this not to excuse the bad things that parents do, but to foster empathy for the fact that people can't do better when they don't know better. You are the same. You didn't think to change your behavior or didn't know how to do it in the right way until you learned about ADHD. You live, you learn.

Empathy for others starts with empathy for oneself. Instead of pitying yourself or being angry about your past, healthy Fi should prompt you to express empathy for your struggles today. There aren't enough signs that you possess this depth of empathy, which indicates Fi development has a long way to go yet. It's hard to feel empathy when you're in the thick of negativity, but that's the time when it's most important to practice it.

An important part of having empathy for yourself, aka self-compassion, is allowing yourself to move at a realistic pace in life, a pace that takes your challenges into fair consideration, rather than always trying to live up to unreasonable ideals. Feeling "not good enough" and being afraid of that feeling never going away is directly related to Fi development and lack of self-acceptance. You must accept the truth of yourself and the facts of your situation before you can move forward in a meaningful way.

Also, if you find yourself speaking inappropriately or not giving enough consideration to social context when your feelings get too big, it means you haven't done enough to set up a good social support system and create more appropriate opportunities to explore your personal issues. Expecting parents or colleagues to give you support that they are not capable of giving is basically wasting energy barking up the wrong tree. In other words, don't look for love in all the wrong places. This is related to Fi development in terms of doing what it takes to care well for your well-being.

You are well into adulthood. At some point, it has to be fully your responsibility to craft the life you want. By continuing to blame your parents for not living up to your ideals, you are the one keeping yourself tied to past unhappiness, rather than moving forward. It is a choice you make.

I always say that forgiveness isn't about other people. Forgiveness is something you do for yourself. It's not good for you to live in a state of resentment, anger, or hate. It's not good to keep revisiting and rehashing such emotions on an endless loop. Therefore, you have to learn to forgive the mistakes of the past so that you can have the emotional stability necessary to focus on improving your life today and into the future.

Forgiving your parents for being the imperfect human beings that they are is difficult but necessary, not for their sake, but for yours. You can set yourself free from the past at any time through learning how to be more accepting, empathetic, and forgiving, which is very much tied to Fi development. This would be a healthy way of lifting yourself out of Si grip and mending your mental health.

[meadowlarkx]

Hello! I absolutely love your finrod/sauron AU and I was wondering if you’d be willing to talk a bit more about how you have characterized finrod in this fic, and what his ultimate goals are? Also, does the series have a set ending or do you plan to keep it more open ended? Thank you!

Thank you so so much for the ask (and all your enthusiasm in general)!! I'm thrilled you're enjoying that au! 💖

I have a lot of feelings about Finrod and have been mulling and pondering how best to put them into words:

One of the most central things to Finrod, in my eyes, is his ability to see and value the small amid the "big picture." He values keepsakes from home (bringing the most jewels etc to Middle-earth!), individual lives (the Beorians and Beren's, his cousins' on both sides, thinking also of "But [Finarfin's] sons were not with him, for they would not forsake the sons of Fingolfin"...), beauty, others' culture and lore (hours spent with Andreth!), language. He loves really hard, and he loves people, not ideals. A while ago I rambled some about why I think he did a lot to keep the Exiles' spirits and personhood alive on the Helcaraxe. This is one of his best traits, it draws incredible, selfless feats and efforts from him, and it's why I can see him pulling out absolutely all the stops for the chance to save Beren+his companions in that AU! It also goes two ways. He chooses to honor his oath to Barahir--and leaves Nargothrond and kinda also Beleriand in political crisis doing so. I also think this love is why he allowed C&C to gain the influence they did in Nargothrond--he kept wanting to give his cousins the benefit of the doubt and to wearily hope they could yet change (I mean, this is just my reading!)

But what makes him really interesting, to me, is that he IS aware of the stakes, and the "big picture," and the immensity of what they have done and are facing. He isn't an idiot by any means--he knows exactly what he is doing, but often, he does it anyway. It is still "worth it". I'm thinking here of his private conversation with Beren before he announces his intention to honor his own oath, where he sums up the situation with C&C and says something like "So we are all by our oaths ensnared." But, amazingly, honestly, absolutely madly and almost selfishly to me, it is still worth it to him. He doesn't commit lightly!! I love that about him. I'm thinking also of he and Turgon's visions of future threat from Ulmo, and the way he knows and recognizes the "shadow" on Men's hearts, and on the hearts of himself and the Noldor. The way he can't speak when Thingol confronts him about the first kinslaying ("I marvel at you, son of Earwen..."), because he won't speak against his cousins: he knows his own fault--or sees it as equal to his cousins'. (I actually don't think he kinslayed there--but he knows that he would have taken those stolen ships, he knows he threw in his lot with the Nolofinweans, he would not think himself better than them...) The way he knows 'nothing shall endure of my realm'... And of course going on after hearing Namo's doom in the first place, when his father, who I think he's close to and proud of, chose to turn back. He has this deep streak of sorrow in him that goes with the savvy-ness of Knowing things.

And, like, it makes you think, well, why did he think it was worth it? Why did he think it mattered to keep his oath to Barahir or lug those jewels across the Helcaraxe? and obviously Silm fandom is all about drawing our own lines to connect the disparate dots we got in canon, so they can be connected various ways, but my connecting the dots is that Finrod is despite everything an optimist :') He hopes that from bad beginnings, ill deeds, the doom itself etc. they can find good ends. In his way, through what he values, he'll try to get them there. And if not--at least joy in the meanwhile, and that that means something. Beren's (to harp again upon this example bear with me...) life matters, even if it's just a handful more mortal years. I find that really idk... touching of him. He sees good in things. And his optimism can be prideful, but I think one needs pride to get anywhere, kinda. The line with hope is pretty blurry, to me. You have to imagine something can be a certain way in order to try to get it there.

(*I know some people prefer to read Finrod as abruptly blindsided and confronted by any complicity of his in the first kinslaying/reminder of his Teleri kin's murder in his song battle with Sauron, but to me it is more satisfying and tragic if he has never denied it--he has sought to live with it, to move past it, to affirm that the Noldor can be & do better here--and here is Sauron essentially saying "no. Remember how bad it was? You (plural) can never be other than that." A blow to the very core of Finrod. also he froze up because of PTSD and I'll cry forever about it)

Heh another thing on Finrod and pride--I imagine him with a particular flavor of pride that ironically comes with being humble, in his way. Or acknowledging faults. I mean, if you're Finrod, and you live every day with the memory of your slain Teleri relatives and allow for some kind of responsibility for it, and then you hear Celegorm boldly repeating the entire Oath at top volume to the unapologetic tenor of "we'll do it all again. Nothing wrong with any of that." In your house, where you hosted him. I dare you not to get a little frustrated, a little angry, a little self-righteous or contemptuous about it!! So I see Finrod who thinks he's great but because he thinks he sucks or because he thinks he's good enough to realize he sucks but also aware of this. Or um, something. He holds himself, internally at least, to a sort of moral standard that he can look down on others if they don't meet. There's pride in his insistence on upholding his own (lowercase) oath as equally important, too, and maybe some bitterness. But I think he can be pretty self-critical alongside it, in low moods and when things are not going well--he knows himself too well. In his own eyes, he is not a very serious person. He can be vain, he can certainly be a hypocrite (I interpret a lot of what he says to Andreth as like "do as I (or my brother) say not as I do"), but he generally knows these things about himself.

Connection is also something I associate really strongly with him. Not just empathy, but also (relatedly) personal and political connections. This is also sort of the well I draw his promiscuity in that fic series from--in my eyes Finrod can Never hold back from caring, getting attached and entangled etc, and he loves freely (Middle-earth's most eligible bachelor since Amarie is home in Aman RIP, and not bound by tradition). Every time I see a gif of Cate Blanchett's Galadriel, I just imagine how incredibly powerful Finrod's charm/otherworldly allure would be (Edain waking and thinking they were in some fair dream!). I like to think that Nargothrond was 80% held together by Finrod's personal charisma (definitely not robust heritable administrative structures) and Beleriand on the whole a little bit also, by the way things fall apart after his death (and the other B&L stuff, ofc, but Finrod could have smoothed out a lot if he had lived--is my truth.) To come back to the political-esque connections--Finrod is the only character who hangs out with Maglor and Maedhros AND Thingol (from whom he has his realm!), who has (according to him. unreliable narrator) friendly enough interactions with C&C in Nargothrond, who negotiates with the Laiquendi for land for the Edain, for whom the Dwarves forged the Nauglamir, etc. etc. (I really love him having an epesse from Khuzdul - I can't hear you badger Felagund origin story - and Nom as an epesse from the Edain. Finrod the beloved!) Making these connections and inspiring personal confidence/loyalty is what he is really good at, in my headcanon--it's really easy to see in the whole episode with Balan/Beor, who joins him in Nargothrond, after all the time Finrod spends with them. He has a link to everyone, and he's skilled at taking into account others' needs and hearts because for the most part he really does care. So in a way really it's good that he's on holiday from kingship with Sauron to work on his real strengths :)

Loving people and connections with them lends itself well to a thread of vanity too--he likes and wants to be admired and noticed (I mean, it's crazy to me that he decides to pull his little harp stunt while Beor's folk are sleeping to surprise them. What a Move). Love this for him, though.

OK, this is getting so long, but just to like, wrap up, I am also obsessed with his magic/Song--after holding his own against Sauron himself, his spells in Leithian are powerful enough to withstand even defeat by Sauron! His magic preserves the secret of their identities, and breaks his bonds to save Beren! Between this, his foresight line to Galadriel ("An oath I too shall swear, and must be free to fulfil it, and go into darkness. Nor shall anything of my realm endure that a son should inherit." I like to imagine he occasionally just Says stuff like this), his Ulmo dreams, his harping painting fair visions, etc., he is so powerful and mystical and eerie. He never quite takes a straightforward path to things. He goes missing for months on his hunting road trip. He isn't on the front lines of the leaguer with Maedhros & co, but making a safe hidden place in Nargothrond against the danger forewarned to come (and necklaces). Presumably he can fight with a sword or whatever, but I get the sense that's not his strength by a long shot--the one time he is actually on the battlefield in armor in Silm he nearly dies and gets rescued by his human friend. He doesn't intend to battle Sauron in any way when he sets out, but to evade him with magical disguises. (And terrible aliases. A testament to the power of Finrod's magic that they worked or that he lapsed so foolishly - exhaustedly? - later, IMO. I have to laugh.) He often is doing his own thing, which speaks to me of self-possession. He even names himself a king in Nargothrond, which he has from Thingol, but doesn't claim any Noldor high kingship. He's got this independent, maverick streak that just makes him fascinating and very fun to write.

So in the fic, I guess, I'd say I've tried to characterize him as willing to do anything for his friends, prioritizing their individual lives--I think this bit is canon. He's creative and evasive and trying to use any means at his disposal. After his canon defeat, he lost most of his hope and confidence, but seeing things proceed differently to what he had foreseen has done a lot to resurrect it--and Sauron being responsive keeps boosting it too. He feels like anything might be possible, however small and foolish the chance. He genuinely values knowing more of Sauron and his enemies and their thralls etc and is mentally filing it away, though the knowledge often comes at some painful cost. He often sees their games as a challenge, in a way, though he tries to be careful about letting his vanity or desire obscure his clearer vision. That said, I really think Finrod wouldn't be able to keep his newfound hope from extending to imagining reaching Sauron in a meaningful sense, too. He does hope for that, even if the hope is basically minuscule. It would be a victory for him and most importantly, an affirmation of his optimism and confidence to turn something in Sauron's spirit or heart, to have something "real," and he's always looking for something "good" there, even if he often does not find it or even realize he is looking for it. Other than that, beyond what is going on in the tower--he is a bit adrift. Now especially so--he's cut off from any people he loves, he's lonely, stuck being self-sacrificing, and he feels guilty about leaving Orodreth & co. in an awful position. He's a king who is no longer a king, and now he doesn't even have the companions he left with who might see him that way. But while all that is declining so precipitously, he increasingly has Sauron, and the tower, and whatever he can make of them. :') I hope that answer is satisfying enough! The challenge of writing this fic has been trying to make an emotionally believable (I should probably say "compelling" instead of "believable"--but you know) arc on both sides, but I'm looking forward to continuing this journey!!!

As for the ending, it's kinda yes and no! I do have a set end point in mind to conclude this series with them, which I'm determined to get them to. But there are also a handful of scenes set later on that I'm tempted to write which would kind of extend it--either as an epilogue or something else. I'm not sure if I'll ever write those bits though, or if I did what would be the best way to do it (ie. to keep it as installments of the og fic series or arrange it some other way on AO3.) That part is all hypothetical though!

[beatricehawthorne]

Hey! It’s me again! I notice you like Code Geass too!

Actually in my Narnian/Ransom Trilogy fanfiction multiverse and I have a reimagined Code Geass AU as well

Code Geass: Lelouch of The Knighthood which is mostly inspired by Prince Caspian

It exists as an alternate earth which like the D.Gray-Man world shares a singularity which is The Birth,Death, and Resurrection of Christ which redeemed all worlds

In it Suzaku was framed for his parents assassination and his memories rewritten as a child, this was the work along other political figures throughout the world getting assassinated(including Marianne along with Lelia and Empress Tianzi’s parents) in a satanic conspiracy of The Geass Order lead by Vincent(insert Freemason joke here) under their service to “The Usurper of Geass” who’s implied to be Satan/Tash/The Bent One

Soon this leads to Charles own death when he regrets what he’s done and finds out about Mary’s death being part of the cults plan and is about to tell the public and Schnizel taking over with a satanic mockery of Geass with the aid of V.V. to continue the scheme

Here Aslan/Christ appears as cloaked and masked figure “The Master of Geass” son of “The Infinite One” and through whom “The Geass Specter” proceed through

And the Keeper of Space Time is the Oyarsa of this world if your familiar with The Ransom/Space Trilogy

Geass in this case is the configuration of “Deep Magic” of This World and given how C’s world works, it can kinda be how the communion of Saints manifests itself in this world and tragedy befalls only to those who try to bend it to their will rather than submitting to the Master, kinda was inspired by The Magician’s Nephew

Basically Lelouch and Co make better choices(there’s still drama and conflict mind you!) and their major goal is to get Nunally seated as Empress and stop The Ragnarok Connection which is far more demonic in this AU

I’m just thinking how Aslan would get to Lelouch, Suzaku, and Kaplan with their bitterness and sorrows. Lelouch definitely needs work with the wounds of betrayal, and hoo boy is Jesus not unfamiliar with betrayal and suffering

That's a lot information to digest so I took my time thinking and answering this ask. I must say you put a lot of mind and efforts into this fanfiction of yours. Such enthusiasm is admirable, so keep up with it and don't let what I share next be a guide to your brainstorming and world-building. I believe one remains a better judge for one's own writing, for good or for bad.

I have zero knowledge on the Ransom Trilogy, so little can I contribute on details related to it. I do love Code Geass, though; so I can share a bit.

In my opinion, Code Geass is a story about the battle of philosophy and ideologies which ends with the triumph of the protagonist's, Lelouch's, idea, which bears the closest resemblance to Christianity. Unlike his father Charles or his brother Schneizel, Lelouch chooses the role of a villain to be slain instead of the role of God (funny, as the Son shows Himself to us not as the dominating Lord, but chose to follow the will of the Father to be the sacrificial Lamb to take away the sin of the world). He offers himself as a sacrifice to give the world a chance to embrace the future and puts his trust in people's perserving wish for happiness, and death is also his way of atonement. Despite all his lies and faults, Lelouch is quite a romanticist who never gives up his belief in hope and dreams, who treasures his loved ones, who, to quote Chesterton, "hate it [the world] enough to change it, and yet love it enough to think it worth changing." For such a character, I don't think it's hard for our Lord to reach to his heart. The only issue is whether he will accept our Lord's will, which asks him to entrust everything to the Divine Mercy.

Suzaku is the obstinate one here. While I also love him as dearly as I love Lelouch, after losing Euphemia, he acts like a jerk (partly justified), and only after committing the irreversible crime of robbing the lives of over 10 mil people that he accepts Lelouch's method and wholeheartedly works with him for the greater good. Still, I understand why Suzaku stubbornly clings to his idea, and he's right in thinking that the ends cannot justify the means; though frankly I think his means are also controversial and contradicting to this particular belief. Anyway, how God touch his heart depends on at which point Suzaku is at that time (the naive suicidal boy before meeting Euphy, the man full of anger and resentment after her death and betrayal to Lelouch, or the massacrer of millions).

Lelouch and Suzaku make the best choices with what they have to deliver a good story; not necessarily the wisest, but most appropriate given their personalities and surrounding circumstances. Now the thing with stories and fanfiction is that I love them because while they are somewhat similar to the real world, they need a bit of naiveté and idealization to let everything fall into its place and bring about the wanted outcome. You have chosen the hard task of bringing God to your fantasy universe as the only thing equal with such experience is our real life, which will last till the Day of Judgment. Best to quote Tolkien here:

“... Actually I am a Christian, and indeed a Roman Catholic, so that I do not expect ‘history’ to be anything but a ‘long defeat’— though it contains (and in legend may contain more clearly and movingly) some samples or glimpses of final victory.”

(JRR Tolkien, Letters, 255)

I object to the idea of a masked and cloaked figure. That reduces Jesus Christ to a mere symbol while unlike Zero, He is the Way, the Truth and the Life, the Word in flesh and blood. To have Him hide behind any kind of mantle seems tasteless and defies His nature.

I'm also not comfortable with the idea of Lelouch doing his best to put Nunnally on the throne. While she is more than capable, I doubt Lelouch would place such a heavy burden on his dearest sister's shoulders. It's one thing that the situation forces him to let that happen or her to take on the responsibility by herself; it's totally another thing for him to treat it as his original goal. Lelouch loves Nunnally too much to do that.

Hope you find my answer helpful.

[vendetta-if]

💠💠

hey I'm just loving the story so so much and that scene with Yvette was *chefs kiss*...sorry this will probably be a long rant its just the things you've made me feel 😩😔...if I could read the entire story right now I'd sell a kidney 😂

I'm hoping we can have more conversations with Yvette like we did to really dive into her character, thoughts and feelings especially towards our MC...I usually have a hard time with her character because it always seems like she doesn't really regret what she did as much and seems more like she's approached MC and doing what she's doing mostly, if not solely, because she feels cornered and not as someone that also regrets their decisions and wishes to repair the relationship they DONT have with their child...I know she can feel both those and they can be her motivations, but it just feels like she's driven by the former and not the latter..so I'm looking forward to our interactions with her and if there will be options to let MCs frustrations, sadness, anger and longing bare before her I will...I'd be open to making amends but she has to know and feel everything her absence put MC through and my MC needs to see her genuinely, proactively and consistently care for them before they consider thinking of them as their mother again, nobody can top papa Vic 😂 he set the damn bar too high but if she can put half as much effort hey then we're getting somewhere...

And i have to say, your characters as well are so well written and realistic and raw that I get so engrossed in every little thing they do and I can't help but feel that they're real people with real scars, issues, hopes, dreams, problems and aspirations and relate with them...because I understand Yvettes thought process its like 'I've come too far to look back now' and she feels like she can't let go of everything she built because it would sort of make all her sacrifices meaningless or she may feel she doesn't deserve too and I think she did mention something like that but I wonder if she knows that hurts my MC more 😭😭

Anyway for an ask i wondering what Yvettes fears and or regrets are 'if they're not spoiler' are towards MC and the relationship between the both of them especially because Yvette is asking them to hunt the man that killed her former lover and father of her child 😅...especially if its a vengeful 'I WILL STOP YOU EVEN IF IT KILLS ME' MC...do they fear losing MC like they did Victor or has that not crossed their mind

Sorry it got pretty long but before i vanish I just want to encourage you and say you're awesome and stay blessed!!! its probably not easy making your content and living your life irl but you do it anyways and for that we are more than grateful 🙏

💠💠

Thank you so much for the kind words 🥰🙏 And I’m glad you’re loving the characters and feel like they’re realistic ��🥺 Also, don’t worry about sending this long ask, I love reading you guys’ reactions to the story ❤️ And, don’t sell your kidney for the story, the Morozovs don’t deal in organ trafficking 😆

So, about Yvette, yes, MC will have an optional chance to do a little hang out session with Yvette in the future where they’ll be able to have another conversation with her ☺️

Also, I love how readers interpret the talk with Yvette a little bit differently from each other. Some readily accept her apology and see it as sincere regret, while some, like you, are more skeptical and don’t readily forgive her right away.

Right now, I planned to let those that don’t forgive her the first time to change their mind in the future if they want to. It’s not 100% guaranteed as all plans are subjects to change constantly , but I’d really love to include that.

As for your question, I’m actually not really sure what Yvette’s fears are in the context of her relationship with MC other than messing up her second chance if MC decides to forgive her and MC dying 🥺 She doesn’t really fear MC hating her per se, because it is what she has been believing and expected all these years.

And yes, the thought of losing MC has crossed her mind before, and you can actually see that in the Luka and Yvette Funeral Talk Side Story in case you haven’t checked it out. She would be devastated if MC died, she doesn’t want that. When she came to ask for MC’s help, she just expected MC to talk with Luka or Grandpa and basically just be on standby to help with sharing information about the underworld that’s needed and connecting the group to the Morozovs’ resources and connections, instead of MC actively participating and hunting down the killer 😔

[paleparearchive]

Two People Who Are Bad at Talking

El Greco's initial 1★ story (1/1)

Location: dormitory hallway (morning) ; museum hallway (morning) ; atelier 2 (morning) | Characters: El Greco, Velazquez

El Greco: …

Velazquez: You're going to the atelier too now? May I accompany you?

El Greco: Yes, no problem.

Velazquez: I see. Then, let's go.

—

El Greco: (... It's rare that he's not with Rubens. Sometimes it's just one of those days.)

… A snail on a sunny day, is it?

Velazquez: What are you talking about?

El Greco: That's your current state.

Velazquez: ... I've been thinking about this for a while now, but I don't understand what you're talking about at all.

El Greco: ... I've been told this a lot, but I just can't stop talking the way I used to do back in my hometown. I'm sorry. I just can't get past this. Do you want me to call Munch?

Velazquez: I'm not saying it's a bad thing, so don't worry about it. I'm the one who invited you, so I'll make an effort without Munch.

—

Velazquez: …

El Greco: …

Velazquez: That part would be more complicated than the others. We should do it again later. Also, I've been working for so long that my concentration is starting to break down. It's not good if you continue to do poorly and make mistakes.

El Greco: Okay, then let's leave it for later.

Velazquez: …

El Greco: … You're talking straight to me.

Velazquez: ? What else do you want me to say?

El Greco: No, I'm just thankful I don't have to worry about being weird. People seem to think I'm unapproachable.

Velazquez: It is difficult to say whether you're easy to talk to or not, but you're not impossible to talk to. In fact, I'm probably the more difficult person to talk to.

El Greco: Is that so?

Velazquez: Rubens often tells me I say things too straight. He tells me to be careful… but I'm not quite sure how to do it.

El Greco: There would be no need to change. Just like I use the language of my hometown. At least I have no complaints about you.

Velazquez: … I see.

El Greco: … However, you do have complaints. That's what you mean when you say you don't understand my words.

Velazquez: That's not a complaint. It's purely an opinion. Just tell me what it means and I'll have no problem with it.

El Greco: Its meaning, you say… It's hard for me to put into words what I'm feeling.

Velazquez: Well, time will tell, I guess. I'm sure you'll understand some things as you come into contact with them.

El Greco: …

Velazquez: For now, it looks like we need a little more time for conversation. If you don't have any plans after this, why don't we have lunch together?

El Greco: Yeah. I was just about to tell you that the sun was higher in the sky too.

Velazquez: … I see, so that's what you're asking me to do, invite you to lunch. Alright, I'll keep that in mind.

El Greco: To be grasped like that is kind of... itchy, you know.

[allthegoodusernamesaretakenagain]

Ok, first of all: How could you! So.Many.Questions! Aaaaaaa!

Kidding (partly 😜) - I loved it!

I'm curious. How much of this story do you have plotted?

Also, writer to writer, do you have any source of writing knowledge (book, article, yt, etc.) that you consider to have been most helpful to you? 😬 Because damn you're goood. The way you describe emotions, the way you have so many characters be so distinct, the way the relationships are building up with time. 🤤🍽️

Hahaha I’m sorry! (Not really)

Ah that’s an interesting question. So, I have all the MAJOR plot points plotted and done. I have a little notebook, where I’ve written down all the characters, their backstory’s, and then the plot. Of course sometimes things change. There’s also lots of small plot points (side stories I guess) that I’ve always known will happen. Impa and Daria? That was one of the first things I remember plotting for those characters. Quentin, Sidon, and The Lynel chapter was also something I had planned from day one. But for the more in-between, it’s a matter of me sitting down and mapping out how these characters are going to get from A to B, what they need to do, say, experience, for the story and their characters to progress. Because this is such a long story it’s hard for me to know exactly what is happening in every future chapter. I kind of plan out my story in ‘eras’. When I started the journey to Rito village, I started to map out each chapter for the Rito Era of the story. Once that’s done, I’ll sit down and map out the next Era, making sure the important plot points are in there, and see how I can make it happen.

I’m not sure if any of that made sense.

And uh, is it bad to say that I don’t? I really wish I did! But I kind of just write? That sound silly and stupid. I mean, I’ve been writing since I was very teeny tiny, we’re talking folding A4 paper up when I’m six and making it look like ‘a book’ and then writing fairytales for my sister in pencil. When I was 13 I did the canon event of shitty wattpad writing, and haven’t stopped writing since. And I was awful, but I grew. So for me, my writing is a journey of seven years, and I’m still learning. I guess all I can say is that I make an effort to read other books, so I can see the different writing styles. But after seven years, I’ve been trying to enjoy it more and just write how I want to write.

I guess, the biggest thing I would say is that there’s isn’t any right or wrong to writing. Authors all write differently, or the same, or completely and utterly unique and it’s all literature. If you find you’re writing is more emotion led than description led, that’s fine. If it’s heavy dialogue, fine. If it’s got NO dialogue, also fine! Established authors can do whatever the hell they want, they can have no punctuation, or no chapters, or one page chapters, and it’s fine for them to do because they have the notoriety behind their name and process to do so. So, when I write, I’ve been trying less to make it fit what other people say it should, and just do what comes naturally to me. Kind of a boring answer!! I’m truly flattered and blushing that you think my work is that good though! I’ve always thought my writing was mediocre, just for this very reason that I don’t put in much time to better or improve myself outside of ‘practise makes perfect’. I do love hearing about other authors processes and stuff.

Wow this was so long I’m sorry!