#also stan was gonna be blond but WHATEVER!!!!
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
galvanisticfish · 18 days ago
Text
Tumblr media
late teens/early 20s designs
58 notes · View notes
ca-suffit · 8 months ago
Note
anons are coping with lestat being exposed as an even bigger asshole so they scramble around trying to do their own damage control, bring up "but in the books" to gear us up for why we should be prepared to hate another character instead of lestat. Lol no thanks I don't need you all holding my hand to understand when lestat and armand are acting terrible.
it also feels like anons are trying to shift culpability from the white character no matter how much you all try to deny it. this is why op is still getting asks that look like the anons haven't been reading about armand's passivity and manipulations being critiqued as well. you all just selectively hone in on whatever makes lestat look bad. 🙄
also are they still mad about 2x05 getting a ton of social media attention without blonde frenchman needing to be shoved in there? lol
it's sad when the fictional character owns up to shit more than fans can lol. I've been saying that these writers weren't gonna give book stans the lestat retcon they've been salivating over for years. now here we are and there they are. still seeking crumbs of how it was all a lie or someone else is worse. who tf caaaares. it's all about luving monsters until maybe someone's a monster in a way u didn't see coming, then it's "bad writing" lol.
9 notes · View notes
lover-of-mine · 10 months ago
Note
It isn’t lost on me how racist some of these 911 stans are wanting Tommy to have a begins/regular character status when Karen and Ravi don’t even have that and treat the already canon queer rep like they don’t exist I also think some of the way they talk about Eddie and don’t care about him anymore now that a white cardboard cutout of him is here feels racially charged like why are you hyping you this white man but not the other queer canon rep (karen) and poc on the show as well(Ravi karen) they stopped pushing for Eddie to have better written storylines and just feels gross to toss aside a Latino main character away like he doesn’t matter for a white guy who is closely like him who has a screentime of 5 mins they literally just wanted buck to kiss a man and only care about fetishizing two men like let’s call it what it is
You hit the nail in the head, baby. I have no strong emotions towards Tommy or bucktommy and I'm not saying this is what everyone is doing, but since Tommy only has 5 minutes of screentime, Tommy is a character they can just project whatever the fuck they want and make it the "perfect partner" they want for the wobbified version of Buck they see. He's also another white man so it removes all the issues they have with Eddie and kept trying to pretend weren't there because Eddie was the only other option and gives them a nice little white canvas to make the relationship what they wanted. It feels fetishizing when people keep begging for a sex scene when the show doesn't do full blown sex scenes, it feels fetishizing when people are screaming shut up you get to see Oliver Stark make out with a guy as if all that they care about. And this fandom is very racist. Even all the "the gay firefighter show is finally gay" when we always had Hen, Karen, and Michael show that. What do they have in common? Eddie is constantly portrayed in fics as this harsh version of himself that's bad with words, and feelings, and is generally broody, and something straight up incompetent or aggressive to make Buck look better, but we don't have fics that do this the other way around. Because Buck is white. He's a nice blond 6 feet something blue eyed dude so he's always gonna be perfect. Which is boring. But makes it clear that a lot of it is racially motivated. Tommy coming back to the 118 so that he could become a main cast member would be a demotion for him in universe, but people are begging for it anyway. Ravi is right there ready to be moved up to A shift and not getting a third of the noise. It is racist. There's no way around it.
9 notes · View notes
bloogers-boogers · 2 years ago
Text
So I've been getting into the sp fandom lately and let me tell u it's a must for me to do a one-shot.. It's gonna be a good attempt
One-shot SP
/CURSE/
(Kinda shipping? (Kyle/Cartman) Kinda trying to replicate the imagination land scene where Kyle dies an other various scenes, Cartman(important for the plot),Cartman and Kenny lore,some Stan against, and death of a main character. Kenny plays a role, also y'know death and resurrection that's he's thing.. right?)
It a pretty damn long One-shot.
It's been a common day in the little mountain town of Colorado called south park, Randy had arranged a parade/party at one of the most popular places in town 'DikinBaus' because of some festive weed special (trying to make it seem out of the ordinary weed when it comes to the same shit with a diffrent label) that Stan Marsh and his three other friends would care less about, well, atleast one. Eric Cartman.
Yes, the little evil master mind of south park.
Bitch was angry and quite bitter about the fact that his old home was no longer his, after being part of creating it's popularity. Though he did deserve it and his jewish friend made it know.
"I don't know why you're so pissed off, Cartman, you we're asking for it when you took advantage of Butters hard work," The latter roll his eyes.
"Whatever, it's Butters," He stated, as if it were obvious.
"Dude, just be grateful you got your old house back," Stan tune in, his tone was a little bit frustrated then it should've, luckily his fat friend payed not much attention to it. He wished he could move back, be close to his friends, have his old life back. But his father was farther than an idiot to just let go of his marijuana dream.
"How am I gonna be grateful about losing my DikinBaus!?," He exclaimed angry. Kenny, their blonde friend snorted, "shut up Kinny!."
"C'mon man, it's not a big deal," He patted the bigger boy's shoulder in hopes he'll just moved on from the subject. But ofcourse, he didn't.
"No! I can't leave it like this with out a fight!, I work hard for that shitty place to reopen, it's not fair!," He clenched he's fist, glaring at the nothing.
Both three boys just looked at each other, in a mutual agreement of not getting involved.
Later that day, Stan was forced to partake in the event host by his father, ofcourse not before arguing and complaining about it being just another waste of the income they made, for then later on his father to complain about how they had no money for more resources. Repeat all the time. Stan just hold the bridge of his nose outta frustration.
No boy his age should be this stress out for his parents doings, in this scenario, his dad.
"Hey Stan, check this out!," Exclaimed excited, Randy. The boy followed him, as he has no other choice but to listen.
"What the fuck is that," Stan questioned a little horrified, confused? He couldn't tell, cause he actually gave two shits. But this looked outta the ordinary of the ordinary. If that even makes sense.
There was a seagull looking mutation with what it seems like a rats feet. For a second there he was worried his father accidentally caught man bear pig's kid.
"It's the Tergrity farms mascot!," He exclaimed even more excited taking out a board outta nowhere, explaining his new strategy.
Oh. So that's that.
"Yeah, bye," said lastly, in a flat tone, no longer caring about the rest before returning outside.
Stan was not gonna get involved, no matter how bizarre and crazy his dad's Karen episodes get, he told himself for the millionth time that same day. He was NOT getting involved.
[...]
"For fuck sake dad! What did you do!?," He shouted confused by the change of event, being tied in a chair was far from the plans he had for this evening.
"Uh.. well, let's say it a TEGRITY strategy," Randy smiled commercially, clearly seems nervous. Clearly fucked up. The latter frowned from that response.
Stan sighed, "okay. What did you do," he asked again, finally had calm himself and processed the situation he's in. No pizza night at Tolkien's tonight he said to himself.
"Well, remember my mascot?,"
He nodded, ofcourse he did, it all happened today.
"Well turns out he's like, related to chutulu."
Stan wanted to grip his nose outta frustration again, so bad, after hearing that, "what?," he asked again. As he couldn't believe that thing was related to.. unfuckin' believable. Actually it was definitely believable.
"Yeah, I don't know how'd it happened but he found out and wanted to massacre me and my farm, can you believe that! I even offered some of my weed," said exhausted while having a pout face as a child being scolded.
"Okay, so how the hell did we end up being tied up?."
"Stan, there's a bunch of cult members in south park," he stated obviously while he rolled his eyes by being questioned this much. But he still bother to answer, "those motherfuckers knew chutulu wanted us so they found us, knocked us and tied us up, as their way of worship. We're pretty much a sacrifice."
"But why me!?," he stated bitterly as he was NOT trying to get involved today.
"Because you are, Stan! I told you about my strategy did I!?."
"I left!?."
They bicker a bit more before Stan decided to speak out for a solution.
"Look, I think, I have a plan. You know Cartman?."
"Your fat friend? What about him?."
"Well, he manipulated chutulu to join he's superheroe team awhile ago. Thing is, if we get Cartman, maybe he can help us."
"Isn't he like, a dick?."
"It's complicated. Let's just find a way outta of these ropes."
"Easy." Randy picked out of his pocket shirt with his mouth some weed and light it up with his feet and a lighter he had in his pants. And burned the ropes. He then untied him.
"You could've done that all this time!?," exclaimed baffled by his father's stupidity once again.
"No time Stan!," he said while he ran into the depths of the woods with the boy following behind.
Yes, they were in the woods. Let's move on.
[...]
Kenny found himself running like a mad man, he did not mean to provoke the dark lord, but he did. He just wanted answers about his curse! Was that too much to ask?
But here he was, regretting kicking one of those big claws of him after being bluntly ignored by chutulu, it seems it was looking for something. He assumed it was Cartman as he couldn't link the others with it. That fat fuck. What did he do!?
He couldn't bare die today as he was not aware how far chutulu would detroy the town by tomorrow. He needs to know why it's here, and ofcourse, his curse! Cause it seemed no one cares besides himself! Fuck!
He dodge one of chutulu lasers that ended destroying a car near by.
He hid in one of the markets from town, as if that's gonna make a difference. Then he saw him. That fat fucker! He was with Kyle and Butters in the meat section. Both seemed to be arguing about something while the blonde hold a riffle nervously watching the two, he'd care less right now about whatever those two were arguing about.
"You son of a bitch!," He slammed cartman into one of the freezer, Cartman looked at him with opened feared eyes, "what did you do!?."
"K-kinny..!?."
"Woah, dude, calm down," said, Kyle, "what's going on?."
" 'What's going on?'," he responded incredulous, "chutulu's out there destroying the town and killing countless souls! That's what going on!."
"Oh," Butters said not being so stoked about it.
"Yeah, we kinda know that, asshole," the brunette said casually loosing his grip.
"Eric thinks that chutulu may be here because of a mission," Butters explained.
"Oh really," the blonde said sarcastically eyeing him, "Cartman why the fuck did you summon chutulu here!? Do you know all the damage you've done."
"Excuse me? I didn't do shit, kinny!," Cartman exclaimed offended, by being accused so surely.
Yeah, he has committed various, and I mean, VARIOUS crimes, but he did NOT do this. Though he must admit to himself that this turn of events could be convenient for him to destroy DikinBaus. As no one in this stupid town does not deserve such a wonderful magnificent place. That HE made. And as such rightly deserves it and rightly could destroy it if he wanted to, right?
"Like I'm gonna believe whatever shit comes from your mouth, fatso," Kenny stated.
"It's true." Kyle spoke up, "what Cartman said.. look, I've been following this asshole since he said he was gonna try to do something about that dumb hotdog place, so, I followed him around-"
"Like and stalker," bluntly added Cartman.
"And-" Kyle continued, ignoring cartman's comment before frowning, "the only thing he's done is shit on Butter's porch and purchasing 200 hotdogs in hopes DikinBaus will run out and shut down. Which is the most ridiculous thing I've ever witnessed–"
"Oh c'mon, Kyel it was brilliant!," Cartman defended his stupidity, "it's easy an effective! I buy all the hotdogs, open my own stand and start a business," finalizing while crossing his arms. Kyle look at him angrily.
Nobody will question where he got the money to pay for all those hotdogs. Most likely in a fraudulent way. Whatever it doesn't matter.
"You ate all the hot dogs, fatass!!."
Cartman frown finding a better comeback, "well..! Atleast I have hot dogs!."
"What?," Kyle responded simply with one eyebrow upward.
"Tsch, whatever. I have a new better plan that I won't be sharing to either of you assholes."
Kenny, snapped. He had enough of this bullshit.
"Guys! Chutulu!?."
"Oh yeah, yeah," Cartman had his arms up. A freaked Kenny is a scary Kenny, "uh, what about him?," he added.
"Really?," he asked again incredulously, not waiting for an answer he continued, "something or someone must have summon the dark lord. We need to find a solution to get him out."
"Dude, that's chutulu. Even if we wanted to do something what can we do about it?," Kyle added skeptical.
"Yeah, it's not like this shitty town deserves to be saved anyways," Butters stated, still a little bitter about having to spend community service cleaning the mess the towns people made just cause he was seen as a sex offender for pinching a girl who he thought had no green on San Patrick's day!
"Well. Cartman?," Kenny asked staring deeply into Cartman's eyes. For some odd reason he felt a connection with the boy. As if his eyes had a glint of something.. he just couldn't recall what it was.
"How would I know?," Cartman asked confused, and kinda annoyed that he hasn't even started his plan B because of an overdramatic Kenny.
"You manipulated chutulu you fat fuck! Do it again," He exclaimed frustrated of the whole thing now looking at the other boys. He's finding all of these unnecessary scenarios being unfold overwhelming. Nobody seems to care, nobody seems to care about chutulu destroying south park, maybe he doesn't care!?
He sigh. Maybe he really doesn't. Maybe all this is an excuse to find out about his curse shield with the idea of being heroic. Screw that. He cared! This town may be fucked up but it was his home! Our home! They must care!
"Okay, I got a plan," Kenny stated finally after a brief silence.
[...]
Cartman found himself frowning angrily standing in the middle of the street, in a kitty costume. He would've rather just picked his coon costume but Kenny stated it'd be more effective and he was definitely trying to mess with him once again, cause he found it hilarious.
Stupid kinny.
The other three boys were hiding behind a dunked car near by him. Not like it'd make a difference. Always put Cartman in the more risky messy situations! Ofcourse he was convinced with a reward if things goes well, not because he's scared of Kenny and he was being a pussy! It was the reward he was promised of!
He heard Kenny snicker a bit, stupid kinny. He finds this amusing didn't he!? Asshole.
He then was faced with the giant dark lord with each step the ground rumble and the buildings breaking and weakening by him.
He gulped. He's done this before, he can do it again. Why is he nervous this time?
Both pair of eyes met. Time for action.
"Miaw Miaw! If it isn't one of my best pals! Miaw miaw!," he then climbed in one of chutulu's feet to his head. My gawd he deserves a reward for this acting. He then pursued on scratching the lord's head as he enjoyed the sensation of the fake claws on his skull, "who's my precious chutulu?," he then added a purr distracting the giant.
The three boys started preparing the trap they had made while upon seeing cartman's manipulation was once again, working. That fucking fatass.
Kyle was trying to knot the rope to one of the polls light but end up falling backwards in the sight of chutulu, who immediately put it's attention on the redhead. Great, just fucking wonderful.
Chutulu immediately turned his attention to Kyle and growled once knowing damn well this was set up.
"Dammit jew!," Cartman shouted making it more obvious that this in fact was, indeed a setup.
'Twack!'
Chutulu looked behind him as he had felt a tiny rock hit his tail.
"Stan?," Kyle said confused. Once Stan and his dad we're visible with some hunting gear on and some guns in there hands.
This was not going as plan. And once again Kenny sigh frustrated. He wasn't sure if the new pair of characters were a good thing or not. He's gonna let it slide this time.
Randy slowly approached chutulu leaving behind Stan, who just cautiously watched.
He then took out a weird mutant goose rat thing from behind his right arm.
Chutulu raised a brow. If that's even possible, but it was. Ofcourse it was.
Chutulu looked down as the mutant thingy went to his side rubbing himself against it's feet. It was heartwarming if it weren't for the situation they were put for and who it was. Then Chutulu did the imaginable, he squashed it.
Stan and Randy looked stoked.
"Well that does it," said Randy.
Both Marshes mouth agape, still looking at chutulu and now dead corpse.
And in splits seconds Kenny put himself in front of the two, standing in front of chutulu embracing his blonde hair exposing his face, he had taken his parka off. Glaring at the monster above. He have had enough.
"What am I?," he asked once more, "answer me now!."
"What's with this one?," Randy side eyed Stan, as he shrugged in response. Confused also.
Chutulu ignored him and approached Randy. Which jolted a bit nervous as he did not figure out what he did to anger the creature. If it wasn't his mascot than what?
He lowered his face to the man and quickly head bunked him to the side, hitting his body through a store window breaking into pieces.
"Dad!!," Exclaimed Stan, rushing in hurry to his father's aid. Noneless a idiot but still his idiot.
"Ow! I'm okay Stan.." the injured man reassured.
In a blink of an eyes the military had showed up and started attacking chutulu, bullets in and out angering the creature, he had put himself on it's feet again trying to block the bullets and attacking the attakers, Cartman still on the dark lord's head completely taken off guard as he was distracted with the dialog was then shot in the back 'ow!' falling off chutulu's head straight to the ground. He had broked his limbs and neck during impact. This anger chutulu even more, as for him kitty Cartman was like a pet.
Kyle and his other two friends had witnessed it. As he shouted, "¡Cartman!," he ran towards him caring less of the chaos around him.
"Fuck, he killed Cartman!," Kenny exclaimed as he approached the now what appears dead boy.
'There's no way'.
"Holy fuck!," said Stan from a far, he was still on his father's side but had witnessed it aswell.
Kyle was next to him analyzing the boy's wounds as he couldn't believe it.
"He's dead.." says Butters while having his mouth slightly agape standing next to Kenny watching the now corpse.
"You bastard.." whispered Kenny, he was staring at his so called best friend, lifeless eyes. It was definitely an odd sight.
"He can't be dead.." Kyle reassured griping into the boy's costume, "he just can't," he frowned.
Stan had already approached the scene as his father seem to had been well standing up not as injured.. or in this scenario dead.
He was also as stoked as the two other boys that were just standing there watching there fat friend laying there. Kyle was the only one on the ground gripping on to Cartman as if he didn't want to let go.
Kyle stared at him for a bit longer than he expected, his body had lost color, his half lidded lifeless eyes staring at him and his hands were cold.. this can't be happening. Cartman can't die. That's not possible!
Kyle with both his fist hit his friend's chest as hard as possible, anger. So much anger!
"Cartman! Can't! Die!," hitting him more times with no intention, it just felt right.
"Woah, dude," Stan put a hand on his best friend's shoulder trying to calm him down he's never seen his friend act this way. And to be honest he never expected to see Cartman this way either. Lifeless.
Kyle smacked Stan's hand off him still in disbelief.
"¡Cartman! Cartman!," he shouted almost in a cry, desperation in his voice," you fat fuck! Wake up!," he again hit as many times as he could, in the dead one's chest.
"Dude, Kyle.. he's gone," Stan said in the most pity voice. As if he could feel what Kyle felt.
"No he's bullshittin' he's fucking bullshitting, Stan!," He said almost as he's trying to believe it himself, he felt himself shake, his eyes felt watery.
A big thump caught their attention leaving the other boy kneeled to the other not leaving his side. He could now care less about that fucking dark lord and this stupid chaotic town!
"You fat fuck...!" he whispered more to himself as he closed his eyes and clenched his fist.
He may hate Cartman, and may have countless times told him that's he's better off being dead. But he really didn't mean it. If Randy can be alive, if Garrison can be alive, if man bear pig can be alive.. then why can't him? It's only fair. Two of those people he mentioned are assholes in there own fucked up way, but have done countless crimes and gotten away of being a dick atleast man bear pig is a wild satanic creature it makes sense if he kills thousands of lives. But those two other bastards are here! Free, alive.. So can Cartman!
"Cartman..?," he said choked as he felt steaming tears fall down his cheeks as he watched his fat friend laying down breathless, no bicker response. No insults. Nothing but flat silence from his part. His death even seems painful, not the typical peaceful dead look, just plain painful.
[...]
As the day ended things went back to normal as per usual, well almost.
Kenny never thought he'd find himself sitting in a funeral of one of his best friends. It was always the way around. For some reason it felt wrong. That he was supposed to be in that box and not his friend.
His mother crying on the side of the casket while some of the south park parents tried to comfort her, but failed. As she was never that close to them anyways. Besides, deep inside she knew no one would fully understand what she feels as she knows her son wasn't the best of person's. And that probably there were people from this town who'd want this or asked for this. But she? She saw the evil in him and had gotten tired of his stupid schemes but that was still her little boy and she will always be his mother. And that won't ever change, so the pain will always remain there. And everyone else was an hypocrite in her eyes.
The four boys remain silent, listening to the ceremony behold them. Yes four boys, as for now that Cartman would no longer partake in their group they added Butters in his place.
"So, do I like have to act like an asshole now?," Butters asked grabbing their attention.
"Uh no?," Stan answered.
"Well if I'm gonna take Eric's place I think I should like try to act like him, like when you guys once choose Clyde because he was the second fat boy of our class..?"
"No Butters, you don't have to act like Cartman," Stan stated now a little annoyed, this wasn't the place or time to discuss something like this when their friend hasn't still been buried. It kinda stings.. this feels fresh. It is fresh. Who knew this fat fuck would affect him?
"Are you sure?."
"For fuck sake Butters, shut up!," Kyle exclaimed angrily, receiving a couple of odd stares from some of the other people there. He cared less to be honest. He clenched his fist as he wanted so bad to punch his face and beat him up. As he'd normally just do with Cartman. Cartman..
Cartman, Cartman, Cartman..
He looked down to his feet avoiding his friends gaze.
[...]
Two days have pass, and honestly this Butters thing just wasn't working. Stan wondered if he truly would prefer having Cartman back than having to witness a whimp like Butters attempt to be a douchebag loser. Don't get him wrong, Butters can be a douchbag but he can't get into Cartman's level. Even if he tries to be. Maybe that's what Butters doing wrong? He's attempting to be someone he's not when he can easily be himself as a douche. But still, not Cartman.
For much of Stan's surprise, south park still hasn't changed a bit after his friend's passing. It's still chaotic, and bizarre. And as hard to admit it even feels longer and even torturous. New characters appear here and there, some were dicks, others were plain awful, some just bland boring ass people. He couldn't believe it, he's actually starting to miss him, as these other characters just feel forced to continue continuity when it's just full filling!
It's just two days. Two fucking days. He's been longer than that with out seeing his fat friend and he's okay with it, even thankful, and yet knowing he won't ever be seeing him because he's dead just changes things.
Let's not even talk about Kyle. Out of the the three. Yes, he's not counting Butters. Fuck Butters!
Kyle has been the most affected. Ofcourse he also has to witness the cringey attempts of their idiotic blonde friend, trying to become his new "arch-rival" as that comes in the packaging of being Eric Cartman. Including being a selfish, manipulative piece of shit. Anyways, point is, to be Eric Cartman you must also hate Kyle Brofloski. And Butters just doesn't have it in him to fully hate on someone or just give him the time of day Cartman would normally do daily, actually obsessively to Kyle.
So here he was, on one of the seats of the school buss behind Kenny and Butters, hearing Butters trying to bicker Kyle. It really feels surreal.
"So, Kayl."
"It's 'Kahl', if you're trying to mimic Cartman atleast do it right," he responded back with an added eye roll at the end.
"Well, geezz.. I mean Ay! Shut up you dumb jew! I'll do and say what I want, whenever I want!."
Well, now that's actually better. Stan actually had to repressed a laugh cause he actually found that funny.
"Wow, Butts you're getting better," complimented Kenny.
Butters beamed and stared at Kyle, who silently watch another kid entering the bus. He really did not bothered putting his attention on the blonde.
"C'mon Kyle, you must admit that was pretty good," He tune in, trying to get Kyle to loosen up.
"Yeah.. I suppose," Kyle then looked up at Butters while the other just looked back nervously. Kyle sigh, "can you fight?" he then added with a glint of mischief while the other two boys stared at Kyle, confused for the sudden change in demeanor. Butters looked a little uncertain on what to answer.
As he should, this is Kyle we're talking about.
"O-ofcourse I do!," In fact, Butters does know how to fight, just not Kyle, never Kyle.
"Great, meet me up after school in the playground," said finalized while standing up to get off the bus.
"Ah geez.." Stan heard Butters whispered before getting off the bus to join his friend.
He didn't know what Kyle had planned, but he sure wants to find out.
[...]
"Oh geez! I don't think I can be Cartman no more!," exclaimed Butters with a couple of bruises in his face, tired, "Kyle was beating me up like a butcher to its meat selection!."
"Well that is Cartman's job to deal with y'know," Stan added. He figured this must be a way for Kyle to get rid of Butters. So he followed along.
"Yeah dude, if you're gonna be Cartman. You must know that you have to become Kyle's personal punching bag," Kenny tune in, actually enjoying the laugh. He knew we were all messing with him. Cause in fact, it seems Stan was not the only one bothered by Scotch.
"Oh Jesus!."
"Man, actually I do believe you can become Cartman, even better. As you seem to be more capable of taking Kyle's moods," yeah, we can be assholes sometimes. Stan smiled a bit.
"Oh boy.." he was not liking what he was hearing. Before adding anything further Kyle approached the group, tuning in with a happy humming.
"Hey there guys," he then glared at Butters, "Butters."
"AHHHHHH!!!," He scream while dashing out of there before adding, "Screw you guys I'm going home!."
"Well, that does it," Kyle shrugged.
"Guess no one can deal with you more than a day," Kenny added.
"I guess so."
"So now what?," Stan questioned. Everything just went silent.
Normally Cartman would suggest some stupid shit, we'd shit on first before following through with it. But even the substitute bailed on us, so we must figure it out on our own.
"Board games..?," Ken then added.
"Nah, done that yesterday," Kyle replied, tapping his foot on the ground, kinda impatient, kinda bored.
"What about basketball," Stan suggested. Once again the three boys remain silent. The wind whistling in their ears as they thought harder and the space between them felt thicker as they become smaller. And smaller, and smaller..
"Who wants to try summoning Cartman with a ouija?," Kenny added plainly, while pursuing on leaving the area to his place, with the certainly the others would followed.
In fact, not only did they follow, they were eager for it.
[...]
-In Hell-
"Dammit! no barbecue at sight in the most hottest place between three worlds!," Cartman exclaimed baffled.
He's been a hell citizen for two days now, and it has sucked. He isn't even allowed to go in the cool clubs cause he was a minor and would be forever be one for eternity! He did enjoy the public torture that was embrace there but besides that, nothing too outta the ordinary he could see up in south park.
He sigh, not knowing what to do, with out his friends to annoy, death feels empty. Boring as fuck! He wants to get outta here!
When he approached a counter were there were two men talking about some country song while drinking martinis, he decided to sit next to them. They immediately stayed quiet as his presence disturb them. 'Dumb bitches' he thought.
"So... how can we get out?," he asked.
"Excuse me?,"
"Yeah, like how do we get out from hell."
"Oh, why the hell do you want to get out?."
"Because it's boring as fuck, i want to live!."
"Well, he is young, George," one of the men side eyed his companion. The other nodded in agreement.
"Well there's no way, young boy," one of the men answered, I'll call him number two. Pftt, number two, get it? Hahaha! He repressed a laugh and continued trying to get more information outta the two grown men.
"Okay, but like there must be atleast someone who COULD know a way outta here, right?," he digged.
"Hmm.." number one begin thinking, pftt.. number one, "actually I believe there is."
Getting the boy's attention, he leaned forward as if it'd help him hear them any better. They were both drunk as fuck. For what it appears. Their talk was all gibberish, but 'anything to get out of here' he said to himself.
"You should look for the 'dark red soul'."
"The 'dark red soul'..?," he murmured.
"Yup, he lives in the coast side, just follow the direction signs and go to the yellow hotel. And just ask for him, someone must know where exactly he lives at, he's quite a party goat," number two explained chugging the bit of martini he had left.
So that, he did, he followed the directions signs that lead him to hotel 'jak n off' it was yellow, that's all he cared about. This asshole better know how to get out or he'll make sure he'll make himself a new bowl of chili.
[...]
"Oh, looking for red man?."
"Sure? Is that dark red soul?," he asked not very sure if it's the same guy he was told of.
"Yeah, that's his party animal name. Follow me."
'Tch, lame.' But he did follow. This tall freckle man took him to a long dark alleyway, he was feeling skeptical at first but then remembered he couldn't die if he was already dead. It's like respawn. Sigh. He remembered when he first came here, he fell in some spikes down a lava-fall (waterfall) he also remembered how painful it was but how quick he repawn back. So all is new.
The man enter a dark room and turn on the lights.
"Yeesh!!," some rookie exclaimed angrily as he was caught in a very peculiar position with a lady friend. Both naked.
"The fuck man!?," the red head turned his gaze down looking at the chubby boy.
His eyes widen as the latter.
"Dad..?" his mouth slightly agape. He couldn't fucking believe it. Out of all things. Out of all people. It was him.
Back then he would've dreamt of finding his dad, feeling complete and happy. But once he knew about what the town hid from him what HE hid from him, he just became bitter with the idea of ever having a father figure in the picture. He figured it would've weakened him and it was for the best to had never encountered or meet him. Cause he hates feeling weak. Cause he isn't.
They both looked at each other for a long brief silent second.
The other two people that were in the room left them, well more like the other dude stole his companion.
"Uh.. 'dark red soul'..?" he added, uncertain what to say. The boy felt his legs wobble and his lip twitch. While the older man had his left eye twitch instead.
"Yeah.." Jack answered quietly.
They were both put in a very awkward situation.
"..Eric huh?.." He then added when he received no answer. He wasn't use to having someone who didn't listen to him. Noneless a son who doesn't. Scott was always so eager to answer him even with the most smallest things. Man, he really missed his boy.
"You know my name?," the boy answered too quickly than he expected. He cough nervously, "ofcourse you do, I'm Eric Cartman," he boost his ego. More like a cover up of his insecurities at the moment.
Jack lighten up a bit at the comment. Indeed he knew about the trouble maker he was, well the trouble in general, everyone in south park knew. The son of a single crackhead whore mother, a whore he slept with.
"I see you're quite a confident one," he said cheeky before nudging the boy.
Cartman jolted by that action. Skepticism was basically like his middle name. That type of gesture is uncalled for and unnecessarily. And it made him feel uneasy for some reason.
"Yeah..right," he decided to ignore the remark, "okay so.. I heard you know how to get me back to south park?."
"Oh, so that's why you're here?," then he realized that the only reason the boy is presented here was because of the inevitable, he died in the upper world.
Maybe it's his instincts, or just maybe because he's been so lonely. He feels this sudden sickening attachment towards the boy. As messed up as it sounds, considering he did ground him into chilly. But in his defense he didn't know. He didn't know he was his father. Would've that made a difference? That he couldn't know. But that made him soften just a bit. That would keep him fooled just for now.
"Yeah, I want to get back home," Cartman stated, as the tense moment had started to drift off coming to a lighter ambient.
"Oh, well I suppose I could help you with that," he lied. He saw Eric's eyes sparkle a bit, as in hope. It remind them so much like Scott's..
"Sweet!," he exclaimed excited. Finally, this literally hell will be over soon.
[...]
"So you're saying you own that hotel?," Cartman asked. As his father explained most of his living down in hell and his ropes in it.
They headed to a taco stand and Jack gesture him to take a seat in one of the chairs while he order.
"Pretty much. Cool huh?," he responded a little proud of his accomplishments.
"Yeah.. so.. 'jak n off'?," Cartman asked while he saw the waiter place their beverages in the counter.
"Haha yeah.. I thought it'd be funny. No one seems to care," he added with a chuckle, taking a sip of his soda.
"Ha.. I- when I was in the upper world me and my friend kinny started a business reopening a old hot dog restaurant and we named it 'DikinBaus' haha.. just to mess around with people," he admitted, strangely still feeling uneasy and nauseous.
"Ha! 'DiknBaus'? I love it!," Jack laughed a bit whipping a fake tear out of his right eye, "I guess we share a certain humor, Eric."
"Yeah.." he look down at his hands. It felt odd talking to his dad. He wasn't sure if it was good but he knew it wasn't unpleasant.
"So you also have a business?," Jack asked interested. His boy does resemble him in ways he won't deny that, though his slut of a mother's features were surely there, all over his face to be in fact.
Scott never seem interest in taking big steps on trying to climb to the top leagues or have big ideal dreams. He seemed okay with living in the low peaceful life and well, following his favorite bands gushing over there new songs as a fellow follower than a leader.
"Well. Turns out they took it away from me when it became one of the most popular places in town! Can you believe that?," he complained, finally letting loose the awkward tension he felt, to vent his anger and displeasure, "and what's worse is that my mom followed through with it and didn't care that we had a lifetime successful business with a cool looking house!."
"That sounds awful, your mom's a bitch," Jack admitted. He can already tell Eric can have a bright future as a business man if he we're to try harder.
The boy jolted. It anger him when anyone talks bad about his mom, maybe Jack can be an exception being his dad and all?.. but it still pinch his heart and left a sour feeling in the tip of his tongue. Yes, his mom's a bitch, but only he can say it. He really doesn't know how to respond to his dad about it.
"Right.." he then continued sipping his soda, "so, how did you manage to create one of the most popular hotels in hell?," ignoring further his mother's mentioned.
"Well, when I was down here I was very popular among the other people that had also previously died. I stood out in a way."
The food had already been served. And Cartman picked one of the bean tacos and starting munching it, he felt his father's stare on him and he felt conscious of how he was eating 'Do I have something?'.
"Really? What made you so different?," oblivious to the other stares he was getting from the other customers.
"My death," He bluntly admitted, making Cartman almost choke on his food. 'Fuck'
"Oh," he flatly stated.
"Yeah, it was a hit back then. Everyone was talking about it, and people glorified me for it. As they say it was one the most radical deaths they've had ever heard happening," Jack explained, smiling by the memory, he found himself oddly proud of it. As it had benefited him in so much, and honestly he liked the attention on him, "As to expected I was very popular and was given many opportunities, like talk shows and lots and lots of 'money'," said emphasizing the last word.
Cartman stared at him for brief seconds, "money?," hint of greed in his words. Jack smiled by that, and nodded. He sure was his son.
"So.. how did you die?," he finally asked that anxious question he's been wanting to know.
"So like, I was kinda forced to help my annoying friends out to bring back chutulu to the underground, even though I didn't want to and wanted to just use chutulu to destroy 'DikinBaus' as because no one deserves such a wonderful place I made, and I was shot by the military by accident while I was on top of chutulu's head, falling straight to the ground," Cartman answered casually, squeezing some ketchup on his plate mimicking the blood he imagine leaving, sparing the costume details and the manipulation tactic he use too.
"Wow, I guess us Tenenorman just have it in us on dying radically and cool," Jack laughed excited with a fist in the air.
The name used took Cartman off guard. He was a Cartman after all! But it really warmed his heart to be complimented that much and it felt nice, being included for once. So he let it slide just this once.
"Yeah, I guess it is!," He exclaimed more confident and puffed his chest out, proud.
Jack gave him a warm smile and Cartman returned it back.
[...]
Jack had went on asking for some books he claimed as 'solutions' for Cartman's problem, while the boy decided to sit back and rethink his choices of the chilly incident and how different it would've been if they had just told him the truth.
Then, he felt a odd buzzing sound inside of his ear. He started smaking his left side with his palm.
"Cartman!," he.. 'was that Stan?', "Dude can you hear us? Are you there?."
'Holy shit, it is the hippie!'
"Stan?."
"Fatass?," another familiar voice chimed in.
"Aye! I Ain't fat you stupid jew!."
"Holy shit, Cartman dude!," Stan exclaimed a little too excited then he wanted to be. Cartman flinched by the intense noise in his ears, it was bothering him.
"Ow! Aye you damn hippie! Lower your voice will yah! My head hurts just hearing you guys!."
On the other side Kyle couldn't hold a smile. The other boys just laughed by being able to still annoy Cartman even being in a whole different life.
"So how's it going over there, Eric," Kenny asked.
"Yeah, you haven't lost ten thousand pounds over there by not eating junk food all day?," Kyle added, knowing well Cartman would answer back by the remark he leaned forward to the magic ball that was centered in the middle of the ouija.
"In the matter of fact, you dumb jew, I'm eating pretty well," The boy answered with puffed cheek and airs of superiority, "But things are going pretty well, it's boring as fuck though I was trying to find a way outta here," he then added. Not even questioning how they even managed to connect with him.
"And how's that going, Cartman?," Stan asked curiously. He really wanted to know if there was way.
Cartman took a few seconds to rehear his friend's question. He considered it a bit. After all, he was starting to find hell quite less boring now that he found his dad. He was not going to admit that to them though.
"Uh- well, I'm still on it. Not much luck though," he lied.
"Dammit Cartman, you fat fuck you really can't do shit with out us can you," Kyle then added, smirking slightly.
"Aye!."
The three boys started howling of laughter.
"Eric?."
Eric jolted in shock by the sudden voice behind him, reappearing to his vision. He reposition himself.
"Everything alright?," Jack answered a little concerned of his son behavior just now. He had just returned with some books at his hold while he witnessed Eric seemingly talking to himself.
It was nothing new to him that his son was mentally fucked up, so he has decided to shrug it off.
"Yeah, everything's alright."
'Who's that, fat boy?,' Stan asked.
"No one.." Cartman answered in a whisper.
"C'mon, Eric. Let's go to my place and discuss about your situation," Jack added with a nod gesturing to follow him.
Eric then pursued on following behind him.
[...]
"I guess we lost connection with Cartman," Kenny stated. As they no longer could hear their fat friend.
"How long will it take for us to be able to contact him again?," Kyle asked a little eager. He was finally being able to enjoy the presence of Cartman again, and honestly it was hard to admit he did miss it.
"Probably tomorrow," the blonde shrugged laying down on his bed, "maybe we should try asking the goths if they know how to bring a person back from the depths of hell."
"That sounds like a good idea," Stan chimed in.
The three were now determined on bringing Cartman back.
On the other side, Cartman found himself admiring his father's pent house. It had one of the most amazing views of hell. He stared at the window for a brief long period while seeing every store, house, streets, even the small from afar hell citizens.
And don't get him started on his gaming room! There was also a personal gym 'meh' who gives a damn about exercise. He continued looking through the home. Big kitchen, bathroom, room.
Wow, literal heaven.
There was a box full of condoms on one of the kitchen counters which his dad immediately hid when he found the boy inspecting the area.
He followed behind him with his arms cross on his back, he liked how much Eric was admiring his success with those big innocent looking eyes, though he knew deep inside that image, he was a little devil just like his mother. Both innocent looking yet easy to sugarcoat someone into giving them what they want, making them devilish.
He remembered venting with pride to his son Scott about being a Denver bronco and the games his won, all the attention he received because of it looking for praise from him, but received none but a small nod while he presided on listening to music. Maybe because he was a teen and no longer interested in hearing about their parents accomplishments and tales.
But Eric, oh small little Eric found everything he did amusing and exciting! He enjoyed that.
"Okay, uh.. Jack?," the boy spoke, uncertain what to call him.
"You can call me dad," The redhead added too quickly, he 'tsch' silently.
It went silent again. Jack figured it'll be a matter of time for things to settle down and fix on it's own.
Cartman had his mouth slightly agape staring at his father trying to pick on any slight hint of bluff in him. But found none. 'No one wanted to be his dad' no one dare tried to be.
Jack was starting to feel a little uncomfortable 'maybe it was too soon?' Before the boy spoke up.
"O-okay, dad," he said with a flat line as his mouth.
That word just felt so cursed coming out of his mouth.
Jack beamed.
[...]
A whole week has passed and the boys were no longer able to contact Cartman. Kyle began to worry if something must have happened to his idiotic friend while in search of an exit from hell.
They had failed miserably to summon Cartman back. Tried the various forms the goths have told them to do. But nothing worked. And now they had lost the only connection they had towards him, Cartman was just too much to bring back he supposed.
Stan had suggested that it may be because he was too fat to fit in any of the portals made. He found that funny cause it was most likely to happen.
He sigh.
The boys decided to just start looking for a new replacement. As they had already gripped on the idea on the other boy's return being less possible.
So here he was. Being the one chosen to pick the new Eric Cartman.
"So why again do I have to pick him?," he asked with a frown expression, having cupped his cheek with the palm of his hand.
"Because, the new Cartman has to be able to keep up with you," Stan stated the obvious.
Kyle raised a brow by that, "What's that supposed to mean?."
"It means, that if he were to be put in a stupid situation where he pissed you off enough to riled you up, then he must be able to budge through with it."
"Doubt it," He said bored. He wasn't interested in finding a new Cartman, he wanted his Cartman back. Their Cartman back.
"Okay, kid. You got the rules?," Stan questioned, eyeing a brunette chubby boy. His name was Tobias. The boy tilted his head not as sure.
"So.. I just can't fight back?," he asked displeased, wrinkling his nose. 'Kinda like cartman' Kyle thought.
"No. You fight back in a sketchy scheme to bite back at Kyle," Kenny explained balancing a pencil with his mouth, "you just let Kyle beat you up."
"But- that's not fair! How can I just let this dude just beat me up?."
Kyle was just standing next to him eyeing the boy. Already annoyed by this interaction. A good start he supposed.
"Dude, it's Kyle you just-" Stan gripped the bridge of his nose to calm himself down, "look, you be an ass, then Kyle beats you up for it. Get it? That's how their dynamic works."
Still not reassured by the answer the boy looked at Kyle in a stance for a fight.
Kyle then did a stance, about to prepare punching the kid. But before even giving him a throw, the boy flinched and cover himself up with his arms.
"Damn, what a pussy," Stan said.
"Ay! I ain't no pussy!," he shouted, his fist were clenched, and his cheeks were red with embarrassment, frowning his face.
"Go on," Kenny tune in, finally fully focusing on the boy, an eye brow raised.
"W-well.. you guys are a bunch of assholes! Fuck you guys!."
"Okay, okay," the blonde boy raised his hands, grinning from ear to ear, "and what am I?," he closed his eyes putting a hand in one of his ears waiting for the correct answer.
"A poor piece of shit!," the boy in question exclaimed, "you're a stupid hippie. That only -" he points at Stan. And continued bashing on all three of us.
Stan and Kenny were grinning widely while Kyle felt a little sting is his chest.
They found their Cartman.
[...]
Cartman on the other hand had been laying down on the living room couch, with a very thin blanket as the environment he was in was already quite warm. Atleast for what his father had explained to him. The weather is only based on just two season changes. Summer and 'winter'. Summer is burning hell, winter it's freezing hell as if it were wanting to snow in literal hell, but it never does. Ofcourse, they were in summer when he had arrived, and it'll be like that for the next eight months.
The TV was on and it was kinda late at night for what he supposed called 'hell hour'. Their night time.
His eyelids were half lifted, tired. He won't deny the first few days spending time with his dad we're great, with the exception of the crappy so called 'food' he made, it was just too.. let's say bland 'healthy'. Unlike his mom's amazing cooking nothing could compare. But he had adapted to it very quickly as Jack had promised him to go out for some yummy foods as a 'treat'. He supposed he could endure the torture for a couple more days as long as he was still able to play with all his video games.
But the more the clock ticks the more bored he gets, the more un-patience he gets. Jack also wasn't always home compared to his mother. He had work, and had explained to him this is how he owns such nice things and keeps things in check under 'their' rooftop. He was barely home, and not only that he'd come back with lady friends and takes them to bed with him, claiming they were there for business. What he's not aware of, is that he's already very familiar with the so called 'business' before. His mother has finally mellow down on it but this prick doesn't seem on ending it anytime soon as some college freshman.
He had guessed his former wife had ended up in heaven as she is no longer in the picture and the man never mentions her. Taking this as a opportunity to sleep around with as many women he could get, just like with his mother. He frown by the thought.
He sigh, as he knows better than to knock on the grown man's door. He knew he had taken a lady friend with him inside, he didn't even bother glancing at him before taking her inside. So he layyed there. In that silent room, all by himself hearing the TV noises slowly being blocked by his brain.
He missed south park.
He missed his friends, and his bitch of a mom.
He closed his eyes. And then he jolted back up.
'That's it!' He exclaimed to himself.
He went through all the pages of the books Jack had brought, claiming they could 'help' which he never bother bringing up again cause he was distracting Eric with other cool more interesting stuff than returning him back to South park. For Eric's surprise they were a bunch of cooking recipes 'nothing of actual use!', he frown angrily. 'That motherfucker!' Literally.
He quietly tip toe to another shelf and started going through each individual book but found nothing. He was getting desperate as he was wondering how could Jack keep that information from him when it was literally the whole reason he found him for.
Then, when he was about to give up a green book had ended up smacking his head 'ow!', it had fell from above the shelf. But there was something special about that book that made him peek inside. There was code written in the back part of the book. He wondered where to use it for but was immediately answered as he look at the front cover. It was the best hint.
He slowly open the front door to sneak out and successfully do so. He ran trough each hall way of that huge building and had entered the elevator tapping a button for the ground floor.
He waited patiently, and had entered the shallow hallway. The book was titled 'room fith'.
He open the room and for his luck, it was opened. Everything was empty, a plain green painted room. He stood there confused thinking in 'what' he had calculated wrong.
Before 'snap!' The ground open immediately letting him fall straight into some cushions. The fall didn't feel so deep. But the whole secrecy makes it all skeptical, as if there's something to hide.
He looked around the small room, it was adorned with many satanic symbols, candles, glasses with sand and there were plenty of papers spread in the floors like rituals. He examine each one and approach the table that had many finished and unfinished work. Building plans, maps from areas of hell he hasn't heard of. He figured this was all work of his father as he can recall his writing from the small notes he had left him in the counter before heading for work explaining how to use certain things of the kitchen and wishing him a 'have a nice hell day' before adding 'you're not allowed to go outside'. Kinda controlling not gonna lie.
He flipped through plans and saw many other rituals of summoning. Who knows, he may be able to summon Kyle here? He snorted of the thought of pissing his friend off by bringing him to hell.
But then stop his tracks when he looked under the table to find a small safe, his eyes widen at the revelation 'this is it! This is were he's supposed to add the code.'
"What're you doing there champ?."
He jolted scared turning into the opposite direction.
Jack was smirking slightly while having his arms cross.
"Guess you're enjoying the tour huh," he approached slowly stopping three steps away from Eric.
The boy gulped felling this huge uneasy felling between them, sweating uncontrollably. He felt small for the first time in his whole life, looking at the older man's eyes.
Before being knocked out.
[...]
He opened his eyes and felt his arms tied to a wooden surface unable to move, he notice once adjusting his vision that he was in fact tied up in a chair. He freaked out, this feels oddly familiar.
He then turned his gaze upwards looking straight ahead. Seeing his father sitting down in a couch from that same room, arms were cross around his chest, man spreading but his gaze was straight towards him. He gulped once more. 'He really looks like Scott right now'.
Jack immediately lightened up once he saw Eric awake, he then proceeded to speak.
"Oh, Eric you're awake!," he beamed, forcing a cheerful tone. He didn't want the boy to realize how disappointed he was for catching him trying to escape, "look, Eric, I'm not gonna hurt you," he tried justifying his actions while he stood up.
"You knock me out and tied me into a chair you crazy bitch!."
"BECAUSE someone decided to bash in a forbidden area," Jack defended, he disliked the naming but bit his tongue.
"Cause you lied to me of helping me get out! Those books you brought were all cooking recipes!."
"Well, yes, they will be of help once you're older, champ! I didn't lie," the red head continued explaining while searching through his drawer, "Eric I want you to know that I'm just doing this for the best for you."
The boy remained silent which gave Tenorman the opportunity to continue reasoning.
"I want you to be able to accomplish your goals, I want you to become successful and I want you to be able to follow my steps in hell."
"What? Fuck that! I don't want to be a business man!."
"Eric, I see so much potential in you and have no plans on letting you waste it like your brother."
Eric froze by the mentioned of Scott.
"Unless you'd prefer ending up living in a old dusty hotdog like your mother lead you too?," Jack said with a blank face showing a couple of prints that had many, and I meant many incidents involving Cartman, "When you first approached me, that same night I made a huge search and found so much information on you, Eric, so, so much. You're quite a special boy," he added with a little hum.
"Scott has lost all his marbles, and as hard it is to admit it. I don't see him giving a good name for the Tenormans."
"Fuck the Tenormans! I'm no Tenorman!."
"But you are, Eric," there was a glint of greed in those eyes, something that made Eric's skin scrawled, "in fact, you're more of a Tenorman than a Cartman," he took out a scrapbook from the left side of his drawer.
He flipped through it and stopped in one, deciding to show the boy what was in it.
It was a old newspaper with a young man, probably in his mid-thirties he had ginger looking features but it looked like him, a way older version of him. He had a smirk on while being dragged by cops in the picture, his features resemble pure chaotic vibes. You just knew by seeing a glance of this man, he was trouble.
The article had titled 'psycho man rigged presidential election'. Eric gulped again.
"That's your great grandfather," he then picked up another of his prints, "you know who also tried rigging a presidential election?," Jack added smirking while showing a picture of Cartman and the head of Disney along of millions of election votes.
He then showed him another article, he so called great grandfather was standing next to three other boys picking on one in peculiar, he supposed a friend. He seemed jewish as he had a star of david necklace on him. This article had nothing too chaotic on it, they just use those four teens as an example of 'what not to be'.
Then his dad showed him a picture of his three friends and himself. One where he was in fact, taunting his jewish friend.
He sigh.
"Okay? That means nothing! I want to get back home!."
"That's the thing, Eric, you're not," Jack said, calming placing delicately the scrap on top of the drawer, "I'm protecting you, by the evil of yourself, the evil of your great grandfather's soul on you and the evil of your mother's influence," he pointed, sitting back down comfortably in the couch.
"I'll actually put of good use of your skill and potentials, someone like you Eric should always waste their potential in something actually beneficial than to just fuck around with," Jack lit up a cigar while he continued his rant, "that's what your great grandfather did wrong, and that's what you're doing wrong. Putting your motives and desires into unbeneficial things, un important things. And for what? Just for a three second laugh before being dragged away to jail or to a 'pyscho ward'?," he denied with his head looking at his expensive shoes, smiling after emphasizing his last sentence.
"You mother fucker.." Eric murmured finally realized what the ginger meant, Jack smirked in understanding, "Scott.. he didn't just go crazy because of what I did, he was already going crazy before I enter his life I just pushed him forward to actually snap!," the boy exclaimed scared.
"Ding ding ding!," Jack nodded happily, "see, you're very smart."
Cartman really wanted to go, run away and hide himself under the warm covers of his bed, under his mother's care far away from this crazy bitch!
Jack had left claiming he'd get him some food.
There he was just sitting there afraid, he really prayed for a miracle, just one more miracle in literal hell!
He closed his eyes tight trying to imagine himself being just trapped in a really bad nightmare.
The boy found the switch in personalities amusing, as it were so sudden and unexpected. In a blink of an eye the man that was seen as a caring cool father turned into a crazy psychotic lunatic! He really started missing his mom.
He felt himself uncomfortable felling the ropes being sunken in his flesh, hurting him and he felt having cramps in his calves, it hurted like hell and he couldn't do anything about it. He began crying outta desperation.
Then, he felt a buzz in his ears once more 'guys?'
His eyes lit up.
"Is there someone there?," he asked sniffing his snot back inside as it was running down his mouth.
"Cartman?."
"Kyle?," the brunette boy smile, 'there was still hope after all!'
"Kahl! You gotta help me! Kahl!," the boy cried with no shame. It isn't unusual for him to seek help from his ginger friend when he had fucked up and needed help solving it, "I can't! I'm all tied up and I-I-! Bwaaahh!!!," he cried louder.
"Okay, Cartman calm down!," his friend responded, "what happened? Is everything okay?."
"No! Nothings okay you stupid fuck!," the chubby boy eyes were all puffed up and red, while he felt his throat dry up, "this fucker lied to me! He lieeed!"
"Who lied to you?," he didn't hear Kyle ask as he cut him off continuing explaining his current situation.
"I need help! I'm tied up in 'jak n off' hotel in room five the ground floor! I'm at the bottom!," He cried once again, between breaths he hold back tears, he was freaking out. He was scared, and he was alone.
Then snapped back nervously when he heard a door open from behind him.
"Hey, Eric. I got you some grilled cheese sandwiches in hopes for you to cheer up a bit, my little future super star," said Jack beaming mimicking his mother's tone, it had sent shivers down the boy's spine, "I don't want you gaining too much weight though, or you'll be seen as a piggy for the rest of your life. And no one, likes, pigs."
"Cartman? Are you still there? Cartman!?," he heard his friend's voice.
He remained silent not trying to reveal his last only solution outta this mess, blocking also Tenorman's hurtful words.
"Why Eric! Look at you, you look like a mess," Jack put the sandwiches aside while running to his drawer and taking out a box of tissues and wipes. He then approached the boy and started wiping his face. Cleaning all remaining leftover tears and the snot that had started to dry up in his mouth.
[...]
"Dude, how the hell are we gonna go find Cartman if he's in hell," Stan exclaimed confused about his best friend's claims.
"The only solution is one of us dying," Kyle said with a frown, determinant on finding cartman.
"Dude!?," the latter responded with a brow raised and his arms raised in 'wtf', "dude I don't want to die! There's so much I want to do" looking at the ground thinking about the thousands of board games he hasn't played yet.
"Yeah, me neither!," exclaimed, Tobias.
Kenny remained silent staring at the red head.
"No one has to die, but me," Kyle spoke, he lowered his gaze. He knew it was risky, "I'm offering myself to do it," but it was worth the shot.
"Kyle that's the most crazy shit I've ever heard you say!."
"It's the only way! Nothing else has worked!."
"No, I'll do it."
The three boys turned their head towards Kenny. He had a frown and he seemed to not fear losing anything. Cause he wouldn't.
Kenny had already tried getting back into hell, dying various times to see if he could find Cartman but for some reason he hasn't been able to get a hold of the underground world. Waking back to life the next day. As in some sorta temporary limbo.
"That's okay, Kenny," Kyle reassured with a smile," I know you have your siblings to care of.. and well, I know Ike would have my mom and dad to take care of him, just in case I don't come back."
"Kyle, I'll do it. Eric is my best friend after all," Kyle's words was heartwarming but he wasn't gonna risk losing another friend.
Kyle frown reconsidering it. He then proceeded to nod.
They had left the Marsh residence as they wanted to be as far as possible from any witnesses, they went inside the weed 'garden'.
They found a solid ground far away from the farm. Atleast enough for a bullet to not be able to hear from a distance.
They got into a circle and Kenny stood in middle of the three.
He took the gun out, and pulled the trigger with not even a second thought. But there was nothing, just a small click everytime he pulled the trigger.
"What the fuck?," the blond asked confused looking up at Kyle.
"Sorry, Kenny I couldn't let you do that," his friend stated before pulling out a gun out of his jacket and pointed at his head 'that crazy son of a bitch' Kenny thought eyes wide open in panic, "here goes nothing," 'BANG' was all he heard before hearing the other two boys scream.
"Kyle no!," Stan shouted with his hands gripped into his head staring at his now dead friend, his face covered in Kyle's blood, "Jesus christ!!."
"Holy fuck," the brunette boy said horrified, "you guys are crazy! I no longer want to be part of this stupid group!," he screamed horrified before dashing away no longer looking back.
[...]
"¡AHHH!," Kyle found himself screaming while falling straight into what it seems to be lava. He looked upwards meeting with a pair of people staring at him. Is he really in hell right now? Fuck, he needed to start behaving once he's back in south park. He got up and managed to get out of the pit with ease.
He looked around, people forming circles partying here and there. There was lights everywhere even though it was pretty much lit already. Stores, buildings even food stands. 'No wonder that fat fuck didn't complain about being hungry' he thought to himself. Hell didn't seem bad at all! Well with the exception of the public torture displayed in front of him, he didn't seemed to mind it as much as he felt he should. What the literal hell?
He went to what appeared to be a big wooden cartel for new hell residents with the instructions on how to get back in their feet and their new purposes and do's, 'fuck that', he went where there was a map with all the locations needed to know. Also, pamphlets. He picked one and opened it. He recall Cartman mentioning a hotel called 'jak n off' and pursued following the directions given.
He then stood in front of a yellow building.
Okay, first instruction checked. Now, room fifth of the ground floor. But he stopped before doing any further action. He recalled his friend claiming there was someone with him 'what if they're still there?' He thought before considering a different approach.
Meanwhile...
"Holy shit, Kenny! What do we do!?," Stan said in panic, gesturing the other boy's dead body.
"Okay, Stan. Just listen carefully," the blonde had his right hand as a 'stop' gesturing to calm down.
He saw his friend breathing heavily, closing his eyes trying to regulate his heartbeat and breathing.
'he's just a crazy as Cartman!' That realization made the boy's eyes widen, "Holy shit," He spoke, now gripping into Kenny shoulders while the other boy flinched by the sudden action, "that was just as crazy level as Cartman!," he exclaimed his concerns.
Kenny loosen up from the grip before picking Kyle's body from head to shoulder. He gesture with his head for the other boy to help him with the other half.
Stan hesitated a bit but followed through.
"Fuck."
[...]
"Hmhm hmm!," Jack nodded repeatedly when he had finished re-dressing his off spring. He had bought him a little business suite the other day but had found this time appropriate to give.
The boy had refused and complained when the man attempted to take his clothes off but then failed immediately from his strength. 'Something beneficial from being a Denver bronco' he thought. He proceeded to submit.
Once back tied in the chair, his father turned him around being front of a large mirror.
'Ofcourse he was handsome' but he did not like being force to do things against his own will.
"Eric Tenorman," the man spoke with pride, "doesn't that just sound right?."
Eric gulped. He hated that name.
"Look at you, looking like a professional business man already!," he beamed again, "I'll be right back I'm gonna go fetch some wine."
"When are you planning to untie me!?," the boy wince when he saw a spider slowly going down on him.
A laugh as it were a joke was made, "oh, Eric," he then walked out.
None long after he had heard a loud 'thump' from behind him, he looked instead in the mirror and his eyes widen of excitement.
"Kahal!"
"Cartman?," the boy asked while standing up, he had fallen down from the cushions, ass straight to the ground, "Holy shit, dude! You alright?," he asked approaching him, he proceeded to untie the boy.
Kyle looked around a bit and proceeded to look at the boy that was stretching his back. He heard some cracking and popping.
'He looked like shit'
"We have to get outta here!," Cartman said before dragging Kyle from hand to hand outta the dark room. He was grateful he manage to see how his father summoned a door. But he stopped returning to the safe and grabbing the book and papers that were in there, once again gripping onto Kyle's hands dragging him out.
Once they were safe. They had ran out of the building, running towards the entrance of hell through the amount of new people that had arrived, and found themselves hidden behind 'Sussie's Buttocks' club.
Cartman sigh and Kyle just watched him with a frown brow.
With out further warning Cartman hugged the boy tight leaving Kyle speechless tensing his shoulders and his hands were up in the air unable to figure out if to correspond or just let the boy finish. He decided the second option.
"Thank you, Kyle! You came! I can't believe it!."
The boy loosen up the tension he had felt on his shoulders and just kept silent, letting his arch rival embrace him with his warmth. He could feel Cartman's rapid heart beat.
"Just so you know, I'm just here cause I couldn't stand your replacement," he said finally getting out of the boy's grip.
"Ay! You guys replace me already!?," Cartman protested angry while pouting.
The ginger smirked. With out realizing he felt himself hugging the boy tight. 'Fuck, he actually missed him', he buried his head under Cartman's shoulders as he felt him tense.
Kyle then let go, gazing at Cartman who had his eyes widen and the most heated red cheeks, mouth agape 'he looked gay' he thought. The boy then proceeded to lean towards him causing Cartman to panic as he weakly slapped him backwards snapping him out to his senses.
"Okay so who are we hiding from?," the red head spoke while he dust off the dirt on his jacket.
"Jack Tenorman."
Kyle's attention back to Cartman, in shock, "your dad?."
He nodded before vomiting. Everthing was all so overwhelming. Everthing his father revealed, his great grandfather and how home sick he felt, how much he missed his friends and mom. His insides twisted as he felt shivers all over him.
He made sure to point at Kyle's seamlessly new shoes though
"Ow gross, dude!."
[...]
Kenny found himself desperately wanting to go to hell but no matter how much he tried, he just couldn't. As if there were something blocking him by going.
He sigh, legs crossed next to Kyle's rotten body, flies piling up around him. He and Stan had hid themselves in Randy's shed. They weren't certain if to burry him or not so they toss him in there while both took turns checking outside for any future witnesses which they failed miserably because Stan's dad had went for a quick smoke hidding from Sharon, and looked at them, glancing at both boys before looking at Kyle 'ohhh' he murmured, both brows were raised before closing the door slowly, leaving.
Kenny then took out the ouija board and place it in the ground. Might aswell try to contact Kyle.
"Any luck?," Stan asked wincing from the smell that was coming out of his best friend.
"No," Kenny tried cutting some more blood out of his wrist, carefully not making the wound any deeper. They needed a living mortal's blood to be able to contact the dead.
"Do you think he went to heaven?."
"Nah, man. You really think one of us will end up there after the amount of shit we've down?," he had went to heaven before but it was a one time thing, after he started simply caring less about his deaths he became bolder and is no longer admitted into heaven.
Besides he recalled Kyle unintentionally killing a bunch of Canadians that was enough reason to be sent to hell.
"Good point."
Cartman and Kyle found themselves looking through rituals and plans, they inspected the book while Kyle flipped through pages then stopped pointing at one.
"Here 'lay the one and only chosen one for the path to open, a bright light as blindfold being turned to one'," then continued reading the next paragraph, " 'the second gripped to life, will become sacrifice to give light as they are two'."
"What's that supposed to mean?."
"As they are two.." Kyle reread trying to add sense to what was written, brows knitted together, "that's it," He said looking at the drawings of two men one represented death, the other life. While life was seen switching places with death.
He flipped through the rest of the pages reading new paragraphs and prophecies.
'Misplace the two bounded souls and fear it's wrath between worlds, as they are one'
'Life and death which are shown to be bounded by a soul'
'Death is life, life is death, a curse forming in between them as the new bounded soul is created'
He flipped through the next page and eyes widen. It was a drawing of Kenny and Cartman. 'Holy shit'
"Did you find anything?," Cartman asked while laying down on his stomach, making paper airplanes with the loose pages that were spread on the floor as he had gotten bored.
"Well, there you are my special little boy."
Both boys gasped turning around while they got up, Kyle having gripped the book on his chest. He walked backwards placing an arm on Cartman backing away slowly shielding him
'Cartman was our way out' he told himself, justifying his actions as if it were the first time he found himself protecting the fat fuck. Which it wasn't.
Jack stood there with his arms crossed behind his back, grinning eyeing the book then looking back at Kyle.
"I see you brought a friend to play, Eric," he took a pistol out from the inside of his suite pocket.
Both dashed outta there running through the multiple people that were all formed in circles. Hearing Tenorman shout from a far 'Ay! come back here!'
'Like father like son'.
Kyle panted hardly while trying to grasp some air, Cartman was knocked out cold on the floor. Hopefully they were far enough from Tenorman.
A buzzing feeling in his ear caught his attention, he held it because of the intense pain it did as if that were gonna stop it. Blood trailing down his cheek he looked at the hand he had held himself with 'my ear is bleeding'.
"Kyle?," the boy in question jolted.
"Kenny!?"
"Dude finally! We were worried sick for you!."
"Is he there? Kyle? Are you there!? You crazy piece of shit! Jesus christ!," Stan chimed in," are you alright? Did you find Cartman?."
"Yeah, he's right here," he looked at the boy that was now trying to stand up. He offered a hand while the boy reached out and was pull up to his feet again. He looked tired, uncharacteristically tired. It gave Kyle an uneasy feeling as he remembered what he had read 'Misplace the two bounded souls and fear it's wrath between worlds, as they are one' he assumed Cartman may be 'life'.
"Okay cool, have you guys find a way out?."
"Is that the hippie?," Cartman asked finally paying attention to the buzzy feeling of his own ears.
"Yeah.." Kyle whispered more to himself than to anyone else, "Kenny?"
"Yeah? I'm here dude."
"Look this is gonna sound crazy but,"
'Bang'
"¡AAH!," Kyle looked at Cartman who had screamed in horror, then looked at his now wounded chest half lifted eyes before feeling his legs weakened.
'Fuck' was the only thing that came out before knocking out on the floor.
'Kyle!?'
'Kyle!?'
'Kyle!'
The boy slowly felt himself waking up by the sound of Stan's voice rumbling in his ears. He grunted, feeling sharp pains in his chest were he was previously shot, but managed to stand up.
He looked at his hands an feet, then his chest. It seemed to have healed as if it never happened 'had he dreamt it?' He looked around and found himself in the entrance of hell once more. Cartman was no longer at sight.
"Fuck," he frown 'this was being dragged too much', "Kenny, are you there?."
"Yeah man, what happened? We lost you for like an hour!."
"An hour? Holy shit.. okay, Kenny. I'm not crazy but I think you're 'death'."
"What."
"Yeah. I have a satanic looking book on me that has you drawn in here stating that you're bound into a soul."
"W-what?.."
"Yeah.. as crazy as it sounds but you're bonded. Not only are you bounded but to Cartman of all people."
"What!?," he heard both friends shout in unison.
"Look I don't know much for sure, but that's what I've gotten from what's written here. It says we need both of you to be able to get out."
"But how? I'm not allowed in hell."
"What?," he found himself confused by that comment but shrugged it off, "look 'the chosen soul must be into one of understanding to open a door through life and death' i- I honestly got lost by that point," Kyle admitted nodding to himself.
" 'The chosen soul must be into one of understanding to open a door through life and death..'," Kenny found himself repeating the words. He frowned.
Cartman and him were bounded.. but how? But why? Life and death. If he was death that makes Cartman life. Which having him in the underworld makes it not possible to be 'life'.
Death.. death is life. Which would makes sense if he were to die and revive.
Would that mean switching places with Cartman? As he found himself in life and he in death. All this is messing up his mind.
Would that mean what's been blocking him from both heaven and hell and keeping him in a sorta limbo state is because he's slowly becoming life? And Cartman..
'fuck'
"Kenny?," Stan's voice snapped him back.
"We need to find a way to bring Cartman back and quick!."
The chubby boy felt his body weakened while he was carried by his father. He had taken him to the rooftop of the building he owned while gripping tight with steel chains his wrists and legs into some torture table he had put there.
Half lifted eyes stared to the ground. He felt like shit.
His father stood there with clasped hands eyeing him everywhere as he was some golden trophy, as he were just waiting for something. But he couldn't grasp what it was.
"Did I ever mentioned you that Liane was part of a cult?," spoke Jack.
Cartman just kept silent as he began coughing badly.
The grown man walked towards him taking out a tissue from his pocket cleaning some of the trail blood he had cough out 'the fuck!?'
"When I first met your mother it wasn't at some stupid party your town folks had told you about. I met her in a cult meeting. I was young and was told they will be free booze," He reveal while fixing the boys now untied tie, "we felt attraction immediately and bonded over the fact that we were both there for booze, laugh it off and things just lead to an other," continued while shrugging.
Cartman found himself feeling his muscles spasm.
"I'm the good guy Eric! I would've never asked for this to have happen to you if I knew," he then place his hand onto his chest as an innocent demeanor, "your mother is to blame."
"The thing is, unlike me, Liane ended up getting too into the cult meeting and had unintentionally set herself up with two other soon to be parents, she had dragged me in, unaware of what would happened. She found it silly and fun and I found it a little creepy but followed through cause I was just too wasted to care about the odd rituals the other members were putting us in 'everthing for a piece of that' I kept telling myself."
The boy cut him off he began to have various seizures that lasted for up to three seconds before repeating itself, he felt his mouth grasping for air and being choked by his own saliva. His fingers twitched and his feet curled.
"And then, months after, you were born," unfazed the man wiped the saliva off his cheeks, "ofcourse by the time you were born I had no longer any contact with Liane and that so called meeting became a fuzzy memory for me."
"But, Eric," he approached the boy, face to face, "this, it's life changing," the boy heard while still trying to grasp for air, his vision long gone as it became blurry.
"Imagine, a Tenorman being able to switch in between worlds! Being able to use this curse and becoming one of the most powerful beings on both worlds," He ranted for himself, with every word being said his eyes dilated. Malicious, greed, selfishness surfacing, "not being able to die! HaHA! We'd be unstoppable!."
'Bang'
Tenorman fell into the floor.
Kyle then reloaded his shotgun while two other boys stood next to him.
"Stan help me with Cartman!," Kenny order running towards the almost unconscious boy. Stan nodded following.
They had manage to summon Satan while being in the upper world. Luckily Satan owed Stan a favor and it was just all convenient.
They managed to release Cartman by pressing a button that was place under the table with the label 'release' on it.
Kenny held the boy who convulsions worsened.
"Eric can you hear me?."
"K-kinny? Dammit kinny! Get out my death sequence," the boy complained even though his eyes looked elsewhere.
"You're not gonna die fat boy! You're already in hell."
"Oh, right," His body stiffened trying his best to take control but failed miserably once more, "how's it going?."
The comment made the blonde boy cracked a smile, "look Eric," he gently caress cartman's hair.
'That's gay' he heard the boy remark but ignored it.
"It'll be hard to believe this.. but I die," Kenny revealed, "like all the time," he sigh, feeling the glances of his other two friends on him.
"I know."
Kenny's eyes widen, "no, like I mean it, I die all the time!."
"I know," his chubby friend frown feeling stupid by hearing his best friend seemingly finding it hard for him to remember the obvious. And because of the condition he's in 'duh' he didn't feel like arguing, "I can tell you death by death, each and single one with detail and date."
Kenny was left with his mouth opened, speechless, he couldn't believe it. 'Is he really telling the truth or is he fucking with me?' All this time he's been looking for someone atleast one person that could remember. And he was there all along infront of him, someone he least expected.
"And you didn't bother on telling me!?," Kenny said angry, he felt his eyes water.
Cartman twitch in his arms, "nobody seemed to mentioned anything, and you never asked. I figured it may have been a bad dream or not as important cause nobody seem to believe me the few times I did mention it, they all looked at me weird as it I we're delusional," the boy admitted.
Now that he thought about it. The times he has admitted to someone about his curse, Cartman was never present. Which meant he had never given the opportunity to answer him. And when he mentioned it he was either dead or not around to tell.
Like if it were intentional for both boys to not be able to share this moment until now.
"You know what's messed up?," cartman's voice snapped him back, he had a weak smile plastered, "I began to be so use to it, it was easy to use your deaths. Like the time you were in the death bed or the time I had convinced everyone it would be best to disconnect you to have your psp, or being able to better my vision stealing one of your eyes, I knew you'd come back, you always did."
Kenny's eyes sparked in amusement 'he really did remember'.
"But the first few times.. kinny they were horrifying, I still feel uneasy but it isn't as before," his body twitch some more while he complained about the pain in his arms and legs, "I remember the rats eating your flesh, I remember trying to shoo them away cause you still weren't dead."
Kenny watched his friend with such warmth as if it were a cute tale he was retelling.
"The time Kyle killed you with a chainsaw," 'I what?' They heard their ginger friend asked confused but ignored it, "being killed by a bull, eaten by some pterodactyl, by oral sex, squished, run over," the boy shaked, the pain decreasing the more closer he got to kenny. On the other hand kenny was feeling immense warmth in his chest, like literal fire. 'Hell, It's really burning!'
Kenny remembered always being close in a certain way with Cartman, they even were once trapped together by his soul because the stupid idiot had eaten his ashes.
He glance down at Cartman who had let his head fall into his lap, smiling. 'This was kinda gay' he thought.
He felt the boy latching on to him, and he won't deny he felt the sudden urge to do the same which he unintentionally did. The burning sensation in his chest increased the pain, becoming unbearable 'fuuuuuck!'
On the other hand Cartman never felt more peaceful in Kenny's arms, he felt like he was in the clouds and couldn't recall why the sensation just felt like he was falling but there was no fear of an impact just comfort with in the clouds and sky.
Stan and Kyle didn't bare interrupt the two boys as they knew it was needed to get out and Kenny knew how to do it but they couldn't help feeling a little discomfort as this felt intimate and private. Atleast for Stan it wasn't displeasing just disturbing while with Kyle it was the opposite. He found the boys sudden closeness displeasing he just didn't know why.
Sudden the back door sling open reveling Jack. Kyle prepared his gun and pointed at him making him stop in his tracks.
"You guys don't know what're you're doing! Fuck, ¡no!," He exclaimed once he saw Kenny holding on to Cartman and vice-versa. He knew there was no longer takes back as their ritual bound was already in the stages of ending.
The two boys burst into flames seemingly showing no response to it. Atleast from Cartman's part, internally for Kenny it was a pain in the ass but he didn't show it. Sweat begin to pop up in his skin and his nails digged up in Cartman's suit, wincing his eyes shut.
Their silloette formed a door which proceeded to opened.
"Dude! I think it's the portal!," Stan exclaimed getting near it, while Kyle shot Tenorman in the head once more before following Stan. Not after glancing at Kenny and Cartman before jumping through the portal.
Cartman then layyed down flat finally letting go of Kenny. The blonde watched him while he started twisting in pain 'this is it' he then looked at Cartman, suddenly understanding before proceeding to enter the portal, finally vanishing.
Kenny sigh as he turned into ashes finally dying.
[...]
"Morning dudes," Kenny salute, beaming. He was in a good mood after all.
"Sup Kenny," Stan greeted.
"Hey Kenny," Kyle added.
"Cartman hasn't arrived yet?."
"That fat fuck probably forgot to turn his alarm on," the red head spoke with a yawn.
"Or, he did set an alarm but ignored it," Stan added.
"Either sound possible."
Not long after Cartman got on the bus greeting them.
"Hey dipshits!," he proceeded to take a seat next to Kenny who grinned at him, "so how you guys dealing after the hell incident?," he asked.
Stan and Kyle just raised a brow confused.
"What're you talking about, fatass?," Kyle then added while frowning not wanting to deal with Cartman's shit again this early in the morning.
"Yeah, dude, you alright?," Stan chimed in.
Kenny stared at Cartman still beaming while he saw the bigger boy's face turned in disbelief.
"Dude! I literally died a horrible death not long ago! Remember? Hell!? Kyle you literally went to save me!," he screamed.
"Did he also came in a shining armor?," Stan teased while both best friends, then, howl in laughter.
Cartman pouted bitterly. Kenny put a hand on his shoulder understanding well enough the feeling. The boy glance at him.
"Welcome to the club," he smiled.
Cartman looked up at the two boys infront of him that still found themselves laughing then looked at Kenny, smiling back.
"This sucks ass."
They both chuckled.
[...]
Kyle found himself approaching Cartman while they were entering the school entrance.
"Hey, fatass."
"What up," the fat boy answered while he took out his phone.
"About me saving you did I also bring a sword?," he bite his upper lip before bursting into laughter.
"Ha ha very funny Kahal," the boy said bitterly, "actually not only did you showed up in a shining armor, a sword, but you also kissed me on the lips as I was the damsel in distress." honestly was not the best combat but it was the first thing that came into spot. He wasn't planning to let Kyle have the last word after feeling still bitter about the red head not recalling the previous events.
Kyle was left baffled by that. For some reason Cartman's stupidity was beyond compression but the mystical accusation left him speechless.
Cartman had already proceeded on leaving to class but Kyle just stood there blank hearing a small noise in his ears that kinda sounded like 'hootie and the blowfish'.
In class Kenny had both his hands clenched, excited. He never felt more happy knowing someone does remember! Not only that, but the bound ritual just made their bound strengthen, as he watched Cartman knowing the other boy felt the same. He knew the feelings were true cause he felt it, they both felt each other when their soul united once more 'as gay as that sounds'. Cartman looked back at him sharing that same beaming felling before returning to bother Wendy interrupting her speech with slurs an unwanted opinions.
He always felt alone knowing no one remember him dying, an as much as he had his moments despising Cartman there was now this warmth comforting feeling that someone other than him knew, even if it were a bigot like Cartman. It's not like he could complain much after all, they will be forever bounded by a soul so there's no preventing being connected to one an other.
But he'd care less, he wasn't alone no more.
He smiled once again, he's been feeling all giggly all morning, he just couldn't help it. He was happy and today was just a nice super fantastic day.
School had ended as the bell rang.
The four boys walked with each other discussing what they'll do this evening as a squad.
"What about boar-"
"Stan, I swear to God if you say 'board games' once more I'll kill myself," Cartman interrupted by grunting.
Stan frowned.
"No offense dude, but Cartman's right. We've been playing boards games three times in a row for weeks," Kyle chimed in.
Kenny nodded. He knew Stan had developed a new obsession with board games when he moved to the farm and starting hanging out with Tolkien, which we didn't seem to mind much, but it had gotten boring being repeated multiple times everytime they hang out.
"What about cards?," the blonde suggested.
"Same shit," Cartman rolled his eyes with that.
Is that 'hootie and the blowfish' they began hearing in the background?
"Does anyone hear that?," Stan asked looking around.
"No," Kyle quickly stated.
"Anyways, what about basketball?," Cartman suggested while putting his attention on the others, his hands gripped on to his waist.
"You know what? That doesn't sound like a bad idea Cartman," Stan agreed while turning his focus onto Kyle who seemed kinda spaced out.
"Hm?," the boy said before barfing on Cartman.
'BLEEEEARGH!'
"Ah! Gross dude! Wtf Kahl!?," he wince disgusted wiping off the barf from his jacket, "disgusting!," he kept complaining.
"Sorry!."
"Woah dude," Stan exclaimed.
"I think breakfast didn't do me too well," the boy explained while rubbing his stomach, nauseous.
"Fuck you! You're so fucking disgusting!," Cartman kept rambling angry while walking off, seemingly going home, "ew! Screw you guys I'm going home."
"Sorry, Cartman!," Kyle apologized once more before returning his attention to the others, "so is basketball still on the list?."
"Hell yeah."
Cartman not long after joined the other three with a new jacket staying farther away from Kyle claiming that he didn't want the ginger to barf on him again which the boy rolled his eyes from and Stan calling him out a 'pussy' while continuing playing the game.
It was a nice evening with the four boys peacefully enjoying their company as everthing had turned back to normal.
29 notes · View notes
mrs-monaghan · 1 year ago
Note
Gonna be honest. Army are known to likes Tae bc of his "visual" and sht bc personally I didn't find him that attractive nor see the visual in question like they said. He's cute but not handsome, sexy or attractive. He's the most overhyped member in the group. Just like recently he dye his hair blond and that colour don't even go well with him. And ofc Army will let out that forced lie that he looks good. For me they stan him just for pushing him for whatever objectives they have for e.g they're always victimising him. You guys can say I'm hating or whatever but it just my observation abt him being the most popular in the grp bc if his supposed visual when he actually isn't that extra on that There's many korean idols who like 10x his visual and talents. It's so intriguing tho
He's cute but not handsome or sexy or attractive
Tumblr media
He's the most overhyped member of the group.
I also disagree. Wait. In what way? 🤔 if again you mean looks wise, then yes I hard disagree. I think the hype is well deserved.
As for the blond color not working for him then yes. Absofuckinglutely. That hair just isn't working for him. Not even a little bit. Nope, nope, nope.
Tumblr media
This blond phrase just ain't it.
You know what else aint it? This
Tumblr media Tumblr media
I know Jikook too have a whole thing with the mullet.
Tumblr media Tumblr media
But even that I do not like. Yeah, maybe Jimin is kinda making it work but still... I hate mullets sfm!!!
Kim Taehyung, sir, what the fuck is this????
Tumblr media
Can someone please find Jennie and tell her we want this V back please???
Tumblr media
15 notes · View notes
alovelyfox · 8 months ago
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
Chapter 3: Really just a simple favour
Please note there are mentions of suicide/substance abuse in this chapter, so reader discretion is advised.
This has got to be one of the most uncomfortable dates of all time. Not that you've been on many, but if this is what dating is like, you think it's time to ask your parents for an arranged marriage. And it's not that your date is ugly or anything too. Stan's wearing an oversized blue and red jacket with a pair of ripped blue jeans. He has a little bit of scruff on his chin, with his hair dyed blonde rather than natural, something you could tell by his black roots still showing. He didn't look so much like a creep as Kyle predicted, more like a washed up rock star wearing clothes from the kids section of a Wal-Mart. But your main problem with him is how fucking boring he's acting right now.
You've been making polite conversation with him for the past 5 minutes, and he's giving you nothing to work with. When you asked about his day so far, he gave you a curt 'fine’, then didn't bother to ask about yours. So you try again, telling him that you recently started a job at a law firm, but he looks like he'd rather be anywhere else but listening to you.
What a dick you think. I mean, he was the one who practically begged to have this date with me, yet he's acting like I'm not even here! Fuck my life.
“Hey, do you have any friends you think you could set me up with?" He asks, and it takes all your willpower to not openly slap him across the face.
Is he insane? Or does he find me so utterly awful that he's decided he's done with this date and wants to start planning his next one. Piece of shit.
"Like any cute friends?" He asks again. "Anyone with, let's say, straight black hair and choppy bangs in the front. And black eyes you can feel your soul getting lost in, that make you feel safe and like she's gonna take care of you forever... Oh, and a pink beret, maybe in some childhood photos or maybe still now?"
"Wendy? Are you asking about my roommate Wendy?"
His eyes light up when you mention her name and you feel your heart sink.
"Wait, so you asked me on a date only so you could get one with my roommate? Are you fucking serious? Nah, fuck you and fuck whatever this is." You get up to leave and make it out the door before he grabs you by the arm.
"Y/N please. I swear, I never meant to play you or anything, I'm not that kind of guy. Just let me explain." Stan pleads with you.
"Did you set up this date because you genuinely like me or because you're a stalker creep who likes my roommate so much that you'd do anything to get with her? Cause if it's the second one, that explains everything to me right there." You say, and he turns silent.
You look at your phone and the clock reads 6:15. You wonder if Kyle's still nearby when Stan interrupts your thoughts.
“Look, Y/N. I'm sorry, it's true. I did set up this date because I wanted you to help me get in touch with Wendy, but please hear me out. I met Wendy when we were in pre-school, and I've been in love with her ever since. We were one of those on again-off again couples in middle school, but during high school I fucked up. She broke up with me and moved away for college, while I stayed in that shithole town and let the loneliness consume me. I hated myself for letting her get away, for losing one of the most perfect girls to ever exist. But I came to my senses, decided enough was enough and came here."
You hate how sincere he sounds, and you feel yourself sympathizing with him. With a heavy sigh, you start walking back to your apartment, and motion for him to follow.
"I don't know Wendy that well, but I really like her. Also, she's doing well right now. And I'll be damned if I'm gonna let some douchey ex of hers come into her life and screw it all up. So I have to know the full story, which you're gonna tell me as we walk back to my apartment. If it's good enough, I'll invite you in to meet her, but if not, you leave both her and I the hell alone. Deal?"
He sighs loudly, but nods his head and reluctantly starts following you home.
"Deal. So, it all started when my friend Eric Cartman got an anal probe..."
Hearing Stan talk about his middle school relationship with Wendy softens your heart towards him, if only a little. The way he used to throw up when she talked to him, and how she paid a group of Iraqis to capture one of their teachers whom he had a crush on and shoot her into the sun. Okay the second one sounds kind of crazy, but it's obvious that they cared for each other a lot, at least when they were young. But when discussing what happened to them in high school, Stan freezes up.
"I fucked up. I really fucked it all up. Everyone else knew exactly what they were doing with their lives, and I had no fucking clue what to do with mine. I got really depressed, and turned to alcohol to numb the pain. My dad's an alcoholic, so maybe it's just something I inherited. But I pushed everyone away. My family, my best friends, and especially Wendy. She tried her hardest to get me to quit, to try and salvage what we had. But she broke up with me, saying that she couldn't watch me kill myself, and that it was time for her to move on. I was so wrapped up in all my shit that I didn't even care. I didn’t put up a fight, just watched her leave. I stayed in South Park while I watched everyone else get on with their lives, and all I wanted was to be back in middle school, when my friends didn't look at me with pity in their eyes and the love of my life was still mine."
So far, he had been walking alongside you while talking, but now he stops in his tracks and stares at the ground for a moment before his next words.
"I tried to kill myself two months ago."
Your eyes widen, seeing him so vulnerable like this. He turns to look up at the star pierced night sky which had befallen the both of you, obviously trying to will away the tears which were forming in his eyes. You're about to step forward and try to comfort him but he resumes walking, so you follow him while he continues on with what he was saying.
"Well, not really. It wasn't like I got a noose or a gun and just ended it. I had been on a three day bender with my dad's hidden supply, and in my drunken state I stumbled onto some train tracks. And I saw the train heading towards me, yet I didn't move. I think the alcohol was a way for me to slowly kill myself, but here was the perfect opportunity to finish the job. And my mind was hazy, and I thought that getting run over was exactly what I wanted. But then the train got closer and closer, and I hesitated. Was this really how my life was gonna end? Having achieved nothing, dying alone on some fucking train tracks? I had wanted to go back to my middle school self so bad, but would he have liked how I turned out? The train was a couple miles away when I hopped off the tracks, I was still so close my beanie flew off by the gust it generated from passing me. But I was alive, and had reached a moment of clarity. I didn't want to revert back to my middle school self. I want to become a man my middle school self is proud to grow up into. A man whose family and friends still care for him, and is still dating the girl of his dreams. So I checked myself into rehab, determined to change my mindset and ways."
He lets out a heavy sigh, and you pat him reassuringly on the back. He continues.
"I got out a couple weeks ago, and my first thought was to reunite with Wendy. She was the one who always had faith that I could recover, and with her by my side I would be able to get a job, reconnect with my friends, conquer anything. But I needed to know how she felt about me now, and when I found out that you were her roommate, I figured you were the one to talk to."
"But why not just ask me to help you? Why'd you ask me out on a date instead?"
"To be honest, I just thought it would be the quickest way to get your attention. Sorry for the way I acted on it by the way. I swear I'm a much more interesting guy to be around, but I was so worried about how'd you react to what I was gonna ask you that I guess I was kind of rude. My bad. But now that you've heard me out, you'll help and re-introduce me to her, right?"
You're in front of your apartment building now, and Stan's looking at you expectedly. You don't know what to think about everything he’s just told you, and him staring at you with puppy dog eyes isn't helping. You turn your back to him, and try to recollect your thoughts. He seems genuinely sorry about how he treated Wendy in the past, but does that mean he's changed?
You wheel around and look straight into his eyes as you say your next words.
"'Оkау.”
His face breaks out into a massive smile, but you hold up one finger indicating that you're not done.
"I'II help, under some conditions. And you're not meeting her until all these conditions have either been completed or agreed to. 1. You clean yourself up, both mentally and physically." You look him up and down, and raise an eyebrow.
"Mainly physically. Get some better clothes, clean up that scruff you call a beard sitting on your face, etc. 2. You get a job. Wendy deserves a guy who's stable, both mentally and financially. And 3. If you meet her again and she wants nothing to do with you, you suck it up and move on with your life. No weird stalking, no setting up a date with another one of her friends, nothing. Until then though, I'll help you get your life together. We can meet up tomorrow, when you should've already completed condition 1, and we can work on condition 2. Here's my number, don't abuse it."
You stick your hand out for his phone, and type your number into it. He takes it back and has a small smile on his face.
"Thanks. For everything. Even the small possibility of seeing her again makes my heart feel whole."
You let out a matching small smile. He does seem like a really sweet guy, and you can only hope he's serious about changing.
"I'll text you tomorrow when and where to meet up. Goodnight Stan."
And with that, you leave him standing on the street, and wonder what the hell you're gonna tell Wendy.
You decide to not tell Wendy about your date with Stan. You’ll find out how she feels about him as per Stan's request, but there's no reason for that to happen tonight. You walk into your room and practically collapse on your bed. Everything about today drained you, and the urge to sleep it all away is getting stronger and stronger. But before your droopy eyes fully close, your phone vibrates twice from an unknown texter. Assuming it's Stan, you breathe a heavy sigh. So much for the 'don't abuse it’ rule that came with your number. But you sit up straight when you actually read what it says.
Unknown Number - Hey Y/N, it's Kyle
Unknown Number - I just wanted to make sure you got home safe. So text me when you do.
You can't stop your face from smiling. You save his number into your phone and reply back.
Y/N - i came home a couple minutes ago, thanks for checking in ♡
Kyle ♡ - How'd it go?
Kyle ♡ - The date, I mean
You try not to read into why he cares about that. Probably just trying to make conversation, right?
Y/N - It wasn't what I anticipated, but the guy seems pretty nice so we're gonna meet up again tomorrow.
He leaves you on read for a while, only replying back five minutes later with a curt:
Kyle ♡ - Nice to hear. Goodnight Y/N.
He doesn't say anything else, leaving you to wonder what the hell you did wrong.
5 notes · View notes
khalixvitae · 1 year ago
Note
sorry to hear your shift was shit!! arghghg we all toil under the goochie grip of capitalism. i had an idea about rook and vil but it's in the book 6 settings and though it's not really relevant to the plot nor is it spoiler heavy, the initiation of the scenario does involve some context from the book and i dont know if you'd mind mild spoilers!! not to mention the og thought leans into nitty gritty smutty territory lmfao lols.... all rook stans are vil stans by proxy and both these blonds whisper terrible thoughts into my head every nite... other thoughts vil and rook using you as a lipstick sample tester with their new array of colours; can't have their colour looking less than flattering on you when they kiss you, right? vil will gracefully leave a peck on your lips, on your cheek, on your forehead, on your jaw, on your neck. if he isn't satisfied, he huffs and wipes it off with gentle ease. if he is, he smiles to himself with prideful satisfaction-- leaves the mark on, and reaches for another. rook thinks all the colours are absolutely magnificent on you! he's a little less dignified than vil in having his turn, but it's also very crucial to see how the swatch looks smudged against your lips ok. at the end of it you'll be looking like that "came home drunk last night and got way too excited to see my cat" picture except your whole face is marked with kiss stains. or vil having you substitute in as an actor and him slowly growing enamored with your innate beauty, both on the silver screen and just right infront of him. maybe he has rook as the photographer and he, too, falls madly in love with you. now you're the muse of two people who are very adamant on helping you to be the most radiant version of yourself and showing you just how brilliant you are now...
- the same balls 2 tha walls anon
This is literally so perfect, thank you for the food anon 😭😭😭. I just woke up and what a wonderful thing to see. Also, I’m about 2/3 of the way done with Book 6 for reference !
Oh to be a living lipstick swatch for Vil and Rook <3 also you’re so right about becoming a Stan of one by association with the other. I actually started out the other way around as a Vil Stan™️ out the gate in book 5, and by book 6 Rook fully sank his claws into my brain. Their insane levels of loyalty and responsibility, as well as their loves for their respective crafts made them so interesting to me. There’s actually a post somewhere on here that I made right when I started book 6 about how I didn’t give a fuck what Idia had going on, I just heard I got a kiss from Vil and I was gonna bulldoze my way thru for him haha. Andddd then I ended up REALLY caring what Idia had going on (I still wanted my kiss though hehe hoo). Whatever the Shrouds have going on should be studied by our nations brightest minds bc girl what the FUCK. Book 6 has been my fav part so far though- the mini game segments were so cool??? Like I loved that addition sm.
Anywho, yes in my mind palace I am romantically involved with both Rook and Vil, they are my strange and wonderful companions <3 also swatching lipsticks so he knows what color looks best when he kisses you is SO Vil, and thinking that every color looks beautiful in its own way is SO ROOK like oh my god 😭😭 the only thing that they can manage to agree on, their respective eccentricities aside, is that you look lovely covered in kisses.
Another thing: anon, what should I call you? Because reading your signature as soon as I woke up had disastrous results- I did read it as “the same balls anon”. Which you could be, if you so wish- if you don’t want to have a moniker at All ofc that’s fine too! Have a great day <3
12 notes · View notes
burthummels · 2 years ago
Note
ok i changed my mind about drawing all the hair colours bc that's actually a lot of work that i don't have the energy for rn (silly art block and whatnot) and i don't wanna make u wait forever bc i'd forget etc etc i'm so sorry i'm a massive mess rn
ANYWAY i wanna preface this list by saying that i think black is a great colour on all of them! thinking specifically about that time jimin got compared to prince eric <3 and tae's recent pretty black curls (gone but never forgotten) but they all look good with black hair and i will not hear otherwise 😤
joon:
Tumblr media Tumblr media
i think joon looks really good with light hair in general but i am particularly weak for grape!joon <3 his spring day/not today soft purple hair is everything to me
jin:
Tumblr media Tumblr media
u are so so right about purple jin but may i offer u blond and pink jin as well! i think that almost platinum blond makes him look so ethereal and it very much fits the way his voice sounds to me. and shoutout to the pink for being so pretty on him
yoongi:
Tumblr media Tumblr media
ok tbh i think black is his best colour however!! this ashy brown hair is super pretty
Tumblr media
and shoutout to platinum blond agust d bc this was a Look he is so iconic for doing this
hobi:
Tumblr media Tumblr media
i second the reddish brown tbh that is the colour i wish my hair was rn but i am realising very quickly that i can't pull it off quite like him ksfjhgkfd </3 anyway i also love whatever is going on with his hair in the spring day mv i think that should be an honourable mention
jimin:
Tumblr media Tumblr media
jimin is a natural blond to me too tbh. especially when it looks all soft and fluffy i think he looks so cozy and gentle and huggable!! i'm also very weak for the pink tho like spring day jimin is everything to me and i was so happy when the pink made a comeback
tae:
Tumblr media Tumblr media
tae looks good in literally every colours it's so unfair to the rest of us </3 out of the really bright colours my faves were red and blue tho! tae in the save me mv really imprinted on me in ways i can't describe dkfgjh and then when he had blue hair and jimin had pink hair 💞💞💞 looking so bright and colourful together i love them sm <33
Tumblr media
but also!! this fluffy curly brown on him!!! when people were saying he looked like a poodle!! so so soft i fucking love it i want to play with his hair
jungkook:
Tumblr media Tumblr media
i think i'm mainly used to seeing black/brown on him bc he had those colours for so long but! cherry kook or even just the red tips that i don't remember but found when i was looking up his red hair <3 idk there's just sth about this look that really hits to me
omg grape!joon how could i ever forget !!!! the sweetest angel anctually !!!! i love light hair on him :( it's just so !!! aah oh wowowow he's so my everything shaped and these pictures just prove it actually like i'd do anything for him
oh yes i am so glad you offered up blonde and pink jinnie !! he is so ethereal and soft and he just looks like he should be a prince somewhere like ,,,, he's so right when he calls himself worldwide handsome like he KNOWS he's so pretty and he's right
ASHY BROWN WITH THE HEADBAND LIKE I THINK IM GONNA SHORT CIRCUIUT !!!!!!! AND THEN PLATINUM AGUST D?!?!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!!!! LIKE ARE U TRYING TO MAKE ME EXPLODE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!! GOOOOOOOOOOOD no yoongi just ,,,,,,, og i become insane any time i look at him actually like there is something inside of my body that just insantly gives me the feeling of wanting to bite on glass and scream like ,,,,,, GOD min yoongi
my best friend hobi my best friend !!!! the red hair !!!! ooooh that hobi is just has such a special place in my heart like idk i look at him and i am simply filled with joy and happiness and my saddness melts away (that's any hobi but red hair hobi just <333 baby boy) and yes !!!! the spring day hair w the red streaks !!! aaah he looks so cute in it 🥺 and his eyes look so pretty in that photo too and that choker of im 🥺🥺🥺
NATURAL BLONDE JIMIN STANS RISE !!!!!!!! yes when it's soft and fluffy !!!!! oh it's perfect and i jsut wanna give him all the hugs !!! and you're sosososososo correct about pink jimin like that is also just a precious huggable angel sorry and i think i'd love to see a pink!jimin comeback again i think it would bring world peace
the fact that tae just...... looks good in everything... im sick to my stomach.... how is it FAIR !!! OH BLUE AND PINK JIMIN !!!! MY COTTON CANDY TWINS !!!!! THEY JUST !!!! OH THEY JUST LOOK SO PERFECT TOGETHER !!!! (maybe they're more jollyrancher colored but it doesn't have the same ring) but oh tae in the save me mv is imprinted in my mind and i will rewatch it jsut for himsdkfjhlsd but poodle!tae !!! oh what a sweet boy !! that live where jk was just putting forks in his hair sdjkfhaldskfh
OH JUNGKOOK MY SWEET BABY STAR CANDY JUNGKOOK WHO IWOULD LITERALLY DO ANYTHING FOR !!!!! i look at him and i am instintaniously the heart eyes emoji like i can't help it that just who i am and jungkook is my babygirl that's how the world is !!!! but yes the reeeeed cherry !!!! it's so good !!! i love when you can still see his roots but there's color there i think that's the best way to do color for his hair !!!! oh it's just <33333 wow,,,,, im looking at those photos and im simply just here to be a in love w jungkook like i think that's what im put on this planet for (also soobin behind jk in the first photo made me giggle a little sdjhfakld)
!!!! spring day bangtan is just something that can be so personal and so full of love and emotion like.... wow.... !!!
8 notes · View notes
dulcewrites · 2 years ago
Note
Double standards.
Alicent is a bad mother
She has them young. YOUNG.
and people actually believe by being a single mother is easy,also at 14 years old..ew just ew..just please: it is not and my mother constantly tells me to have my children when I'm older because having kids is a choice and a labour.
Alicent was forced to, Nyra as well and at the end of the day she has the fortune and misfortune to bore Harwin's children,condemning them because they are bastards and we know that in the game of thrones, the war happened because Cersei's children were illegitimate despite looking alike their mother.
Alicent didn't give Helaena to Jace because she knew the danger of it, didn't another civil war happened between a legitimate and another illegitimate Targaryen?the blackfyre rebellion i think and it didn't end well...at all
They call Alicent a cunt, when you know who is the really cunt here:the men but I don't see anyone blaming them and among them, I'm talking about Daemon.
Him.
Who killed his first wife, ignored the second and his daughters and who, in the books, has abandoned his third wife(who was grieving her children's death)and groomed a teenager(the people trying to call Nettles his daughter when he ignores the others and it's canon he likes younger girls..ew)
Him
Who at least try to connect with her daughter, despite not understanding her hobbies and believing she was odd.
Alicent.
Who loved her children more than anyone else because they were all she had
Alicent who stood in front of her son to protect him
And we know what a mother would do for love
Alicent is my morally gray character, also Rhaenyra, flawed and tragic -the dance of dragons is gonna wreck me
sorry to rant, thse comments and tik tok pisses me off so muchhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
It’s just so funny to me bc all the same people who say they want morally grey characters (while praising just straight up evil ones like daemon) or lie and say they would rather have book Alicent, drag Alicent anytime she does something relatively mean or ‘cunty’.
Like which one is it?? You want female characters to be allowed to stand in their evilness or you hate show Alicent for apparently being the most evil woman to grace westeros. You can’t have it both ways. It’s goalpost moving bc they know damn well they would hate Alicent all the same, maybe even more, if she was pulled straight from f&b. They hated her even before the show aired… based on her book character 😭. Even though she’s not the most devious person on team green, let alone out of all the characters. Book Rhaenyra does way more shit if we are being real. But she’s a blonde dragon rider so she’s allowed to do that.
It’s why I hate the whole ‘alicent has no agency. Alicent is just a victim’ argument. Alicent throughout the season challenges and pushes against multiple people. And even if she didn’t, why is Alicent required to show her victimhood in a way that makes people comfortable. If she wants to be anxious, jealous, bitter, or angry, she (out of anyone) is allowed to be. I think Rhaenyra stans have this weird idea that everyone must be benevolent towards her bc she’s the ‘main character’. Like I’ve literally seen people on Twitter say that Helaena deserved what happened to her and her kids bc she didn’t warn Rhaenyra. Why on earth would Helaena side with a woman she barely knows? They cling to that “Helaena my sweet sister” or whatever the fuck it was line. Not taking into account that Rhaenyra only thinks that way bc she doesn’t she Helaena as a threat. If Rhaenyra actually cared about her sister, she wouldn’t have put a bounty of her kids head’s. Literally all of Alicent’s kids know Rhaenyra would throw them under the bus in a heartbeat, why would they trust her lmao
And one day we will have a conversation about a lot of people use Helaena as either a self insert or only talk about her if they prove she hates team green… despite that being the only family she knows
13 notes · View notes
methinmycoffee · 2 years ago
Text
Okay, to elaborate on my shocking hot take from last night, here’s a few things I didn’t like about the new episode (Japanese Toilets)
But First, Some positives:
It was decently funny, not perfect, but I laughed a few times. When it wasn’t relying on poop jokes I thought the episode was decently entertaining. The ending, where Randy stops Stan from continuing the fight against toilet paper by just going “I got fucking shot, Stan” was the best part.
I guess it wasn’t the worst possible Randy episode. There have been better, sure, but he was okay in this one. Still practically insufferable, but okay.
And finally, I thought that Randy comparing himself and his family to the Kennedy family was pretty funny too. Good foreshadowing, I guess? I jokingly texted my friend “Randy’s gonna get shot this episode” the first time he said John F Kennedy’s name, and then he did.
And now, the negatives:
Too many shit jokes. This episode is like 1/4 people using the toilet. I literally don’t care that you can take a fat dump on the toilet and enjoy it, please stop making me listen to Stephen Stotch use the bathroom. This episode could have fit a real B plot if they cut all those scenes, which leads me to my next point:
There was no real B-plot, which is fine, except they set up a real B-plot with the whole “Stan gets called rich by kids at school” couple scenes, and then it went nowhere. They also could have cut the scene where the proctologist shoots himself in the ass, and then you’ve got enough time to do at least something.
It felt like it wasn’t well paced. Like, everything was moving super duper fast, from scene to scene, each moment serving to only set up the next, which is perfectly acceptable, except then we took a two minute break from that pace to listen to Randy use a toilet.
Also some random nitpicks:
(Also negatives, but much stupider)
I think that one random blonde character was voiced by the incomparable Betty Boogie Parker, which is totally cool, except why not have that character just be Heather Williams? I am starving for pre-existing characters to have lines, I got really excited when Clyde spoke.
They retconned Randy some hemorrhoids, which was kind of necessary for whatever they were doing with him, but he didn’t have those before
And finally: I think this should have had a little more Clyde in it. Just switching Clyde out for Jimmy would have worked well, and I cannot believe Clyde’s only line in an episode was about toilets was just to call Stan rich. All I’m asking is that you imply that toilet paper companies killed Betsy Donovan in order to silence Clyde, is that really that much to ask? Maybe not even that, but give him something considering the other toilet episode he was in actually killed his mother. I don’t think he needs to be in every episode, but he would have fit this one so perfectly it’s ridiculous that they didn’t use him.
Overall:
This episode isn’t the very worst episode of the show, but it was very modern South Park, which means that it was an unnecessarily stupid Randy episode that didn’t add anything to his character or the show. If you enjoyed it, that’s fine, but it’s really not my favorite.
17 notes · View notes
in-my-feels-probably · 2 years ago
Note
hi can i get romantic male ships for both harry potter and outer banks, please? my pronouns are she/her.
physical description: i'm 5'3 with mid-length light brown hair and blonde highlights and i straighten it. i have blue eyes and I wear glasses. I'm a bit on the chubby side. i have big thighs and my style is like the pouges, but t-shirts and a tad bit longer shorts + leggings, jeans, and sundresses. i wear a watch on one wrist, a scrunchie on the other, and a necklace with a gold ring that's really important for me.
personality: i'm an ambivert and i'm pretty chill I think. i have self-diagnosed anxiety, seasonal depression, and dyscalculia. i hate drama and will avoid it at all costs, which can cause some problems. I'm really argumentative and competitive with the people I trust. I'm Christian
hobbies + interests: i love music, it depends on what type of mood I'm in but I'm usually listening to taylor swift and I love reading and learning as long as it is something that interests me. i have always loved photography and I want to learn to play the keyboard and guitar. i love doing self care once I actually start doing it but I have to talk my stubbornness into making me do it for some reason lol.
hi!
thanks for participating :)
so i normally only ship you with one character, so i’ll tell you who id ship you with from both fandom, but do the full description and blurb for the one i think fits you better.
i ship you with pope and george! (i’m not sure if you meant lightning era or marauders era, so if you meant marauders era, then instead of george i ship you with remus)
i’m gonna go with pope for this tho, hope that’s alright :)
he would definitely first notice your height. i don’t know what it is about him, but i think he’d really enjoy having a shorter girlfriend. he’s pretty tall, and i think he likes feeling like he’s able to protect you. i also think he’s a sucker for a girl in a sundress. i think he’d see the necklace you always wear and smile. he understands the importance of having something that means a lot to you. since he doesn’t have a lot of money, i don’t think he’d buy you many gifts, but he would make random things for you. he’s really crafty, and could make you a bracelet or something. but he’d never try and make you a necklace, because he likes seeing just that one around your neck. he’d only ever make a necklace if you asked him to, so you could have another thing of importance to you that reminded you of him.
i think pope is also an ambivert, and he’s definitely also one to stay away from drama. you’d hang out with the group together, but he’d also love doing things with you one on one too. he understands your anxiety and how flustered you can get, so he tries his best not to ever put you in situations you’d be uncomfortable in. which is often, considering who your friends are. he’s always content to leave the party or whatever you’re doing when it gets late to just hang out with you alone.
i don’t care what anyone says, pope is a swiftie. hardcore folklore stan. unlike some of your friends, he takes the time to listen to her music, and really falls in love with it. he also loves to read, and would be interested in whatever you’re reading. i also think he’d a firm believer in self care, if not for himself, then for you. and he’d know you find it hard to get the process started for yourself, so he’d figure out ways to distract you into doing it.
“mhm, and what happened next?” he’d ask, vaguely listening as he distracted you so you’d keep doing whatever self care you had decided on that night.
every once in a while, you’d catch on. “you don’t have to baby me, you know.”
“it’s not babying you, its taking care of you,” he’d smile, leaning his head on your shoulder. “can we do face masks?”
you’d laugh, choosing to ignore how he wanted to take care of you. it was a good hearted gesture, and you knew it made him feel helpful, so you’d let him get away with it, even if you didn’t need the help.
“yes, pope. we can do face masks.”
hope you enjoyed! thanks again for participating :)
2 notes · View notes
rryeongchaes · 3 months ago
Note
i’m back after reading “bound to you” — you really sent me on a rollercoaster of emotions, and i mean that in the best way.
yeji being careful to wake up an adorable sleepy ryujin (the same way irl ryeong wakes up ryu!), but worrying about how ryuryeong’s scents do not linger on her skin for as long as she’d like — then cutting to a jealous, BLONDE chaeryeong. we stan a possessive powerbottom princess. love how submissive and pliant yeji gets when ryeong is involved, letting her dictate the pace of their fun. and chaeryeong’s dirty talk — i’m in shambles. but i also think it’s cute how chaeryeong must have been bristling with jealousy while watching yeji/giselle talking from around the corner or something and had to pounce yeji immediately to lay claim.
the “don’t go” line got me emotional so suddenly… it made me wonder if there’s some deeper insecurity or trauma. yeji seemed so desperate to prove and reassure chaeryeong that there was no one else but her. then the part about the red marks around yeji’s wrists, and how she wanted them to stay — perhaps as a substitute for the fact her body doesn’t keep ryuryeong’s scents for long. but of course, chaeryeong wants to provide proper aftercare for yeji.
ryujin coming into the room with frozen yogurt like that donald glover pizza gif all cheerfully, only to realize the intense scents and the state of her girlfriends moments after. such a cute way to end such a journey this entry took me on.
truly, you did it again, RCP! thank you as always for another DLC installment. i shall read it again 3 more times before bed // 🦇
i had to include that lil detail we learnt about ryujin lol, it was orginally chaeryeong who would do it in dlc as well, but i felt it would be nice to have yeji notice/learn it and then apply it on ryu! (catz line moment) and well the scent lingering thing.. it's gonna come back is all i'm gonna say.
dlc ryeong, my queen, my possessive blonde princess, if it wasn't clear I truly love her, yes to everything you're saying about stanning her LOL. dlc yeji is the same as me, both of us will let chaeryeong have her way and do whatever she wants. (her dirty talk.. well. yeah. it's rare but deadly) our girl knows when to remind her alpha who she's dealing with ;) a jealous her in concept is kinda cute, in reality… oh girl. good luck
i didn't intend for the "don't go" line to be intentional, it's more like she feels vulnerable after what they did and wanted ryeong to stay instead of running off even just for 2mins, but interesting that it came across that way! (the insecurity thing is gonna come back at a later point too)
the red marks are her way of saying: this is my proof, we can't mark each other, but let this be my way of showing that. So yes, in a way it acts as a substitute! (ryeong is a sweetheart as much as she is a possessive girl)
LOL it IS that meme! I had the idea from the very beginning and simply kept it ever since, wraps it up cutely after all the intensity.
thank you so much for reading 🦇, you're too kind, always love hearing your thoughts! Hope I didn't derail your sleep!!
0 notes
bisluthq · 6 months ago
Note
I’ve seen so many swifties hate on Maisie (it’s happened before but I’m seeing it again now with the announcement) for dumb song lyrics from songs that are clearly meant to be fun, and I would get it if they were idk Lana del Rey fans but Taylor has songs like ME! and gorgeous and shake it off and YNTCD and London Boy and a million other dumb fun songs? I just don’t understand hating on purposefully not deep songs when it’s something your fave does often? The one I saw people complaining about now was the start of Holy Revival, specifically the “I guess I'm disappointed that you didn't "Merry Christmas" your way back into my life” and I don’t see the problem with it?
I guess I never really get the Maisie hate because it’s not like she’s big enough to be annoyed by seeing her everywhere (*cough* Sabrina *cough*), she hasn’t written any songs about Taylor (Charli), she doesn’t have the credits drama that comes with Olivia, she isn’t a competitor like Olivia or Billie or even Ariana, she isn’t a nepo baby like Gracie (which some people have a problem with). I don’t see many people talking about Maisie ever, but when I see people hating on her is usually swifties over fun songs like that or Cate’s Brother and idk I just don’t really get it?
I’ve frankly not seen hate of Maisie but that’s very deeply weird coming from Swifties. I really like Maisie. If I were to criticize her, it’d be that she’s a little unoriginal? She’s clearly very inspired by Taylor, Kate Nash, Lily Allen and Ed (obviously lol). A lot of her songs sound like you just married a Lily song with a Taylor song and sprinkled in some Kate and Ed and there we are. I happen to really like all those artists so it’s not a problem for me but I’m gonna be honest, it prevents me from like… loving Maisie. I like Maisie but I don’t love her. Cate’s Brother is actually one of the songs I like of hers more BECAUSE it’s a joke and in it being a joke, it feels less ripped off from her influences. I also really like Blonde, kinda for the same reason. She’s best imo when she’s silliest because then she seems to be more herself and trying less hard idk.
personally, I don’t get hating anyone as your personality. I don’t like Sabrina, as I’ve explained, but I don’t have the energy to go beef with people who DO like her (fair enough) and I’d get fuck bored being a full time anti because that’d involve like…. following her??? And my whole entire problem with her is I want to know less about her, not more??? Almost everything I learned about her - aside from her having a great voice, which she does - I learned entirely against my will? I don’t really “get” Charli’s music but I’m not gonna anti or shit on people’s brat summers? I have 0 regular thoughts about Gracie and find that to be just fine by me lmao? I like some of her songs well enough but not enough to like stan and as for her being a nepo baby, I like that she’s acknowledged that and she works really hard herself anyway. I really like some of Ari’s songs, I really liked the new album, and I think she’s got a phenomenal voice but she doesn’t really inspire much passion in me (her messiness is fun). I like Billie a lot. I like Dua a lot. I like Bey a lot. I like Harry a lot. I like a lot of things and artists and liking them doesn’t make me dislike other things lmao and disliking other things doesn’t make me want to go and tell people they ought to dislike those things too because frankly idc lol. Like whatever tf you like.
I mean some shit is just objectively BAD lol like Liam Payn’s solo stuff (remembered about him since we were discussing him). Like it’s just actively dreadful. I will absolutely judge you if your favorite songs are like from LP1 or if you unironically listen to him a lot. But beyond judging your bad life choices, and maybe telling you that he’s also like… legitimately not a nice person… I also won’t really gaf.
0 notes
fknhues · 11 months ago
Text
me crying again today bcs the news about how taeyong is enlisting on 15 april just came out and i was literally sobbing. the man already prep us with the random ass 2nd mini album, a whole concert in kr and another final concert in japan. like he even dyed his hair blonde YET again after complaining how his hair is shedding on his bedsheet. who is gonna lead the whole nct with 20+ members like only taeyong can do that!
omg will he look ugly bald? but wtv i love the man too much to be even bothered by that lol visuals are just bonuses. but fr tho i genuinely cannot survive without him. when he started, i was a keyboard warrior protecting this dude till no ends and he looked exactly like my fictional crush (not zuko) which is jack frost.
everytime im happy i will listen to his music!! lol ask my friends how many times i annoyed them with 127's favourite bcs the start is taeyong. when im sad ill be watching his videos etc idk whatever some sappy kpop stan shits but fr tho!! why is taeyong affecting me so much lol ive been a kpop fan for years and when gd enlisted i was ok!! but why now!!!
also me being a kpop fan for years and decided to fall in love with the foreigners in got7 but failed to do so for nct like girl u learned but u chose to go thru this again?! are u ok?!
i'll be hiding until 15 december 2025 ok! catch me never!
tho im proud he got in navy like very slay babes you slayed.
okay bye thank you.
0 notes
jewbeloved · 2 years ago
Text
If Team Stan's s/o was with them during the pre k fire incident💗💗🔥🔥
Part 2 right here
I'm gonna mark this as platonic since this involves the boys being preschoolers and so as you. I should also count this as a fanfic since this post is so long lol.
Warnings: Arson (fire)
Gender: Neutral
Tumblr media
💙🧡 The Main Four ❤️💚
Tumblr media
You and the boys were all in the same class together.
You were playing on the rug with your f/t (favorite toy)
You have gotten along well with the boys ever since your first day at preschool.
While you were putting up your f/t in the toy box, the boys approached you with a smile on their faces.
"Oh, hey guys!" You waved at them and they all waved back.
"Hey Y/n, we all were thinking if we could play fireman together :3"
"Jews can't be fireman you know"
"Shut up fatass, since when was that a rule?" Kyle poked Cartman's rib.
"Don't call me fat you stupid Jew!!" Cartman gave Kyle a little push.
You giggled at both Kyle and Cartman.
"What's so funny y/n?" Cartman gave you a playful glare.
"Sorry, you and Kyle are both funny when you guys argue and call each other names like that" you continued to giggle.
"Hmmph!" Kyle and Cartman both pouted at the same time at you.
"Mmmmphhmmmmm", (Well guys if we are going to be firemans we need to start a fire).
"Kenny is right you guys"
"How are we going to start a fire?"
The boys turned to face you.
"Y/n, do you have any idea how we can start a fire?"
You tugged at your little f/c scarf while thinking.
"Uhh I'm not really sure.." Cartman groaned.
"That wasn't much help now was it?"
"Don't be mean Cartman! We all have no idea how to start a fire!"
"Alright then, how EXACTLY are we going to start a fire if we all have no clue on how do it?!"
You then scanned the room until your eyes stumbled upon a blonde boy hitting another boy on the hand with a hammer.
"What about that guy over there guys?" They looked at where you pointed at.
"You mean Trent boyett?"
"You know that guy?"
"He's the biggest and bad bully here, but you might not be wrong about him starting a fire for us"
You and the boys approached Trent as he was still hammering the poor boy's hand.
"Trent!" Trent stopped hammering the boy's hand and the boy took this as the chance to run away.
"What do you shit heads want?"
You and the boys looked at each other for a few secs.
"We're playing fireman but we need to start a fire first"
Trent looked at all of you in disbelief.
"Do you assholes even know how to start a fire?"
"Well do you know how to start one?"
"Well sure I do! I burned a lot of stuff before"
"Start one and we will try and put it out!"
"Are you fellas sure this is a good idea?" You heard Butters approaching you all.
"Shut up Butters, we know what we're doing!"
"Oh, okay then.." Butters then walked away.
Trent went slient for a few mins before signing.
"Fine, whatever"
Trent grabbed a piece of paper off the table and crushed it up before pulling out a lighter and setting the paper on fire.
"Woah! Fire!"
"Me first me first!"
Stan went up to the fire while making a fire truck siren noise.
You watched as he pulled down his pants and began peeing on the fire.
The rest of the boys pulled down their pants to and began peeing on the fire with Stan.
"Huh?" You stared in confusion.
"Come on Y/n, help us put out the fire"
Trent also stared in confusion.
"Uh, okay" You went to stand next to Cartman as they continued to "try" and put out the fire.
"What am I supposed to do?"
"Drop your pants or shorts down and pee on it"
"And how is peeing on it going to put it out?"
"Come on Y/n, just trust us alright?"
"Okay, but I hope you guys know what you're doing.."
You dropped down your pants/shorts and proceeded to pee on the fire infront of you.
After 1 min, you and the boys pulled up your pants/shorts.
But you all began to stare in confusion at how the fire isn't put out.
"What? Why isn't it going away?"
"Hey! why aren't you guys putting out that fire??"
The teacher ran over after she smelled the smoke of the fire. (I forgot the teacher's name)
"Trent Boyett what have you done now?!"
"They said they could put it out!"
"Children back away from the fire, now!" You all moved out of the teacher's way while she grabs a rug and try to smoother out the fire.
The rug got led on fire and then the fire caught the teacher's dress on fire.
"GAHHH!!!! IM BURNING!!!" You watched in horror as the teacher was running around while on fire.
"Put it out! Put it out!" After the teacher stopped running around and dropped on the floor, the boys ran over to her and dropped their pants again and began peeing on her.
You and Trent stood and watched with the same expression on your faces.
After a short while, you were standing outside of the building with the boys while being surrounded by your other classmates and police officers.
"I'm too young to go to jail!" tears started to fall from your eyes.
"Y/n, y/n! Calm down okay? We will get out of this together" Stan gave you a pat on your back while reassuring you.
The police officers were finished talking to Trent about the incident and they walked over to you and the boys.
"You 5! Trent is trying to tell us that you guys were the ones that started this mess!"
"Not us! We're good kids!"
"Is that so?"
"Tell them it was an accident! You all thought you could put out the fire!"
"Trent Boyett is a liar, sir.."
"I always thought so, come on Trent you're going to juvenile for a long time!" The police officer putted handcuffs on Trent and began dragging him to the car.
"Butters! You saw everything! Tell them what happened!"
Everyone, including you looked at Butters to see what he's about to say.
"I wish I could Trent, but I don't wanna get involved ..my parents will ground me.."
"You better pray that I don't get out of juvenile! You better all pray!!" Trent yelled as the officer threw him into the car and began driving off.
"See Y/n? We are all okay now" Stan wiped the tears off your face while giving you a smile.
"But...what if he comes back? I feel a bit guilty for lying..."
"So? That's like 5 years from now, he won't be coming back for a long time"
Stan removed his arm off of you to give you some space.
The boys began to jump, cheer, and give each other high fives that they had gotten rid of Trent.
They pulled you into a group hug to.
You didn't know how to react that everyone thinks you and the boys are innocent even though you guys are the ones who started this mess.
You might as well and hope that Trent doesn't break out of juvenile to kill you and the boys💙🧡🧡💚💗💗
Tumblr media
Should I make a 2nd part to this or nah?
Also this scenario was based off the south park episode 'preschool' <3.
You can watch it here: https://www.wcoforever.net/south-park-season-8-episode-10-pre-school
205 notes · View notes
zai-doodles · 2 years ago
Note
Hey, love your FT redesigns they're very cool and creative, and I also love swing people's criticism of the series 👀, so which female character (that isn't juvia cause that's too easy) would you say is portrayed in the worst way?
gonna beat a dead horse but lucy,,
like i dont think shes the WORST, the female zodiac spirits but idk
and ok stay with me cuz i promise I don't say this cuz shes "useless" or emotional or whatever goku stans say idk
lucy is potrayed the worst bc dispite the seirse, kinda revolving around her journey, the series never really gives her moments to grow in the traditional action shonen sense?
like ok ok first, shes a novice wizard at the start of the show with like, 3 or 4 zodiac keys,, now if I lived in a world where there were 12 zodiac keys TOTAL and some blonde rich girl inherited 4 of them??? id??? aks questions???? or would at least assume shes much more powerful and important, and that could have been a fun plot thing considering she has her moments of arrogance that show her inexperience,,, bUT these moments just,,, KEEP HAPPENING like??? even after lucy gets her star dresses we r suppose to laugh like haha lucy really thought she could help like??????? what???? so natsu can solo like,,, all the villains but lucy cant like,, win a fight on her own without being the but of the joke??? i think she does do stuff later but it bothers me?? that shes arguably the female lead and her arc and emotional journey revolves around natsu specifically?? like yea she grows with fairy tail and stuff but it feels like the narrative is constantly punishing lucy for even TRYING to do cool shit???
ik it might sound like i fell into the argument I said I wasn't going to do but listen ok cuz like, my problem isn't that shes "useless" its that shes not respected by the narrative as an equal to the rest of the main cast, the loke arc and the celestial gate arc r, in my opinion her best moments and the fact that that's only 2 OFF THE TOP OF MY HEAD THATS KINDA NOT GREAT FOR UR FEMALE LEAD???
i lied her moment with her dad in phantom lord is pretty dope too but I digress
idk give me lucy with deep rooted imposter syndrome bc she doesn't think shes worthy of following in her mothers footsteps bc she doesn't think shes strong enough so she tries to compensate in the rich girl fake it till you make it mentality but when she really starts to care about fairy tail she just sees how unapologetically GENUINE they are like UGH shes been surrounded by people who are fake or r obligated to be around her and these r the first people to like,, WANT to be around her just CUZ
i have hcs leave me alone djgkdghj
thank u for coming to my ted talk
43 notes · View notes