#also she looks like some old hollywood star in that idk why but mother

[mxllitiam]

INTRODUCING . . .

e f f i e t r i n k e t .

GENERAL...

name : effie archer trinket. meaning : effie "well spoken"; archer "bowman"; trinket "jewel". nickname : effie, archie (must achieve grand friendship levels). age : forty. birthdate : july 21st. zodiac: cancer sun, cancer rising, leo moon. gender identity : cisgender woman , she / her. orientation : bisexual , biromantic. place of birth : the capitol , panem. current residence : the capitol , panem. occupation : escort for district 12.

HISTORY...

tw: parental neglect, death.

The Trinkets tried for years upon years to have a baby and, when the bundle of joy finally came, they flinched at the cry coming from such tiny lungs. A girl, they found, much to their thinly-veiled disappointment. After so much trying, they could only hope for an heir to carry out their name, but, sure, a girl would do.

Effie grew up loud. She filled up every room she walked into from a young age, her grin wide and her eyes bright. She was the wildest, strangest, funniest little girl of her class, with her clothes always so colorful and shoes too big, stolen from her mother's closet. She found that she was happiest outside of her house, where people would compliment her feathery eyelashes or her new hat, and not inside those cold four walls, where she had to struggle to get a pair of eyes to see her.

Her parents always gave her everything she wanted monetarily. They were sponsors of the Games and something of an old money family, not unlike most of the Capitol residents, so Effie always had the latest toys and clothes and things. But there was a stillness in their house. Effie knew to be quiet, and solemn, when she was anywhere near her parents. She grew up with her elbows nowhere near the table and a well-practiced use of cutlery and, you see, if she behaved just perfectly, sometimes she would get her father to smile some.

A people pleaser, someone told her once, with disdain behind their snarled lips. She'd never known being polite and pleasing to be around could be such a bad thing, but it was. The Capitol didn't care if she was fun and cute and pretty, there were a dozen, a hundred other girls just like her. But she kept trying. They called her spirits annoyingly unwavering and high with the way she bounced back from anything, but that's only because no one saw her staining her satin pillowcases with tears every night.

This was her dance, she'd learned from a young age to bottle it up, to present herself as whatever people liked to see, and put herself second. Maybe then, she'd be liked. Maybe then, she'd get praised.

She didn't choose the easiest career when she decided she wanted to be a creative in the Games. A stylist, she told her parents, only to hear them groan in distaste. Still, her own pride sitting somewhere low on her stomach, she promised them she'd make them proud.

She bit off more than she could chew, as was often the case with Effie. Big dreams, big shoes to fill, big mouth to talk, a big heart, and yet – she kept falling into traps she built for herself. She clawed her way through the industry as best as she could, but without her parents' support, networking proved nearly impossible. She was growing old – the Capitol discarded people so young –, she was growing hopeless.

And then, a breakthrough. Finally, she'd be getting to work in the Games, not as the stylist as she'd hoped, but as an escort, and that was good enough for her. To be a part of this celebration was already something so grand, she couldn't imagine – the thrill of helping young tributes honor their districts! The Games were something mythical to her, a magical yearly thing that she would be oh so grateful to be involved in.

District 12, she learns, and her face falls. Possibly the worst placement she could've gotten, seeing as they have the least chances of ever making a victor out of their scrawny little kids, but she still wants to make the most of it. She still climbs onto the stage with clicking heels and a pearly white grin and pretends she doesn't stutter over the words as she greets the crowd.

Now that she's done it a good handful of times, it's an easier dance. She braves a crowd that hates her, and she silently begs for their approval with fluffier clothes, more colorful hairs, and still finds dull eyes looking back at her every year. She pulls out names and comforts kids on train rides while Haymitch is too drunk and too detached to do it.

She was so used to the push and pull of it all, to gathering begrudging tributes under her wings only to see them replaced the next year, but then things changed. Katniss and Peeta held deadly berries in their hands and Effie, who always looked away from the screens whenever a death was incoming, couldn't take her eyes off the scene. The girl on fire, the one tribute who had felt different from all the others, all these years, and her sweet, lovely boy counterpart. Effie felt an uncharacteristic ache in her heart. She waited with baited breath, and with her heart stuck in her throat. Relief flooded her when they were both announced the winners, and she hid her desperate tears from Haymitch when they celebrated.

She grew too attached. She greets them back into the Capitol with shaky hands and pretends she doesn't know she's hugging them extra tight this time. They won, and that's what matters. They can have a wonderful life ahead of them in peace, now, and Effie can go back to her job.

Except life always has a way of tripping her up. The new quarter quell is upon them, bringing a whole new set of problems that she can't account for, that she can't control. Everything feels like it's slipping through her fingers at an alarming speed. She finds Porter Millicent Trip and she can't quite shake the feeling of that limp hand on hers or the sight of those lifeless eyes staring back at her. 

She's growing wary and restless and she can feel the tension in the air; she's starting to notice certain exchanges of glances across rooms. If there's anything left to dig up, she'll find it.

[theparanormalperiodical]

31 Celebrity Ghost Stories You NEED To Read On Halloween Night (Or Any Time Of The Year, Screw The System)

*Puts on old professor glasses*

For generations we have been in awe of the celebrity.

*strokes beard*

For generations we have trodden their paths, followed their scents, and watched with wandering eyes exactly what they do - and all in the name of escapism.

Since the conception of humankind we have sought to understand what makes the rich and famous both rich and famous. Our philosophers decode mannerisms, our magazine editors calculate their every mistake, and the rest of us simply gaze up at the stars wondering how, why, and what we share in common with the glorified among us.

But you see-

*walks across the Ted Talk stage*

-they are just like us.

They make mistakes, they compare themselves to others, and yes, they even suck in their stomachs when trying on their new TopShop crop top and then shove it in the back of their sock drawer convinced their lower belly will always have too fat.

But even more than that, they have experiences with the paranormal.

*pulls up a chair and sits on it backwards cause for some reason people think it looks actually idk how people think it looks but whatever back to the imagery*

And so, on this Halloween night, we celebrate what brings us all together - no matter how much cash nor clout one has.

Shall we?

Miley Cyrus

During her 2009 Europe tour, Cyrus stayed in a flat in London - a flat that she claims was haunted.

"It was seriously so terrifying. It used to be an old bakery and they turned it into an apartment building, and I was having really crazy dreams and really scary things, and one night my little sister–it sounds crazy to tell you–but she was standing in the shower and all of a sudden I hear her scream.

I run in there and the water had somehow flipped to hot but it was still...It wasn’t like the water had just changed, the knob had turned but she hadn’t turned it and it was burning her.”

In the same bathroom Cyrus was convinced she saw a little boy sitting on the sink whilst she was showering. A series of other unexplained events took place until they delved into the family history of the bakery: it was passed down for generations from father to son. Cyrus believed she saw the last son to be left the bakery.

Cher

Turns out Cher doesn’t just believe in life after love but life after death, too.

The music legend herself is convinced that her late husband, Sonny, who died in 1998 is still making his presence known to her.

She claims his spirit has a habit of turning lights on to remind her he is there and often does this to her chandelier - even when there is no power.

“I love ghosts, I prefer ghosts to some people.”

Anna Nicole Smith

This late Playboy bunny was known for her bombshell sex appeal and scandalous career - but what about her forays into the supernatural?

"A ghost would crawl up my leg and have sex with me at an apartment a long time ago in Texas. I used to think it was my boyfriend, and one day I woke up and it wasn’t. It was, like, a spirit and it—woo! [miming a ghost flying from her bedsheets]—went up!

I was freaked out about it, but then I was, like, 'Well, you know what? He’s never hurt me and he just gave me some amazing sex so I have no problem.'"

When the interviewer asked her whether it was merely a dream Smith replied that it was happening every single night.

Kesha

Just like Smith, Kesha’s own experience with the paranormal is rather more sexual.

In her own words she went to the “bone zone” with a ghost.

"I don't know his name. He just started caressing me. It was a sexy time, it wasn't, like, sex."

Emma Stone

Back in 2014 Stone revealed on a late night talk show that the spirit of her grandfather often leaves quarters for her to find.

In fact, she claimed her family has a history of the small change - and its legacy clearly goes beyond the grave.

La Toya Jackson

Michael Jackson’s death is one of the most striking moments in modern history - but it turns out the King of Pop might also be the King of the Paranormal.

La Toya often claims she feels strong presences in the Jacksons’ childhood home and frequently shares about the supernatural activity coming from MJ’s old room. Many visitors, staff members, and family members have heard tap dancing coming from the room, even when they didn’t know who it used to belong to.

It was in this room that Michael would tap dance for two hours every sunday.

Susan Boyle

Boyle often recounts that she lost several members of her closest family within the span of a few short years and felt abandoned by her family. But in a 2011 interview she claimed she sees her mother’s spirit around her house, believing it to be a reminder from beyond the grave that she is not alone.

Megan Fox

"I was just in Mexico at my hotel and it was a bedroom, living room, bedroom...I had pre-ordered breakfast for 7:30, and at 7 a.m. I hear them come in with the table, I hear them pouring the coffee…

30 minutes later, at 7:30 I went in there, no table, no coffee, no food, no nothing, no one there. Door bell rings, I open the door, it's room service with my food...Brandy the nanny comes out later and says, 'Why did room service come at 7 when we told them to come at 7:30?' So you can't tell me I'm crazy, because two people heard it."

Ariana Grande

This paranormal enthusiast was visiting one of the gates of hell - Stull Cemetery - when she felt a sudden surge of negative energy around her. Flies suddenly appeared in the car and she smelt a strong odour of sulphur.

Both are symptoms of dark, demonic energy.

As they drove off she ‘apologised’ to the spirits for disturbing the peace and took a couple of pictures of the area before they left. She saw clear demonic faces in the image. When she tried to send it to her manager as proof of the strange goings on, the picture couldn’t be sent.

Why?

Because it was 666 megabytes.

Joan Rivers

This comedian’s old Manhattan apartment might be worth $28 million but it's far more famous for the supernatural entities within its walls than its price tag.

In one iconic episode of Celebrity Ghost Stories Rivers claims she even brought in a voodoo priestess to help a former resident, ‘Mr Spencer’, pass on.

Marilyn Manson

Just like Rivers, Marilyn Manson told his own paranormal experience on CGS. But his story had less spirits and more, you know, Satan.

Pressured by his peers into reading demonic incantations in a supposedly haunted basement, Manson claims he then heard demonic whispers around him asking if he believed in Satan.

Alyson Hannigan

Hannigan might be known for her Wiccan ways on the TV screen in Buffy The Vampire Slayer, but her encounters with the paranormal aren’t just captured by our favourite streaming services.

Back in 2003 Hannigan claimed she lived in a haunted house - but she believes the spirit is friendly.  

“My friend saw him first one night. She said, 'I don't mean to alarm you, but I just saw a man follow us out of the house.' “

"Later that night I saw this silhouette of a man standing in the bathroom doorway. I was like, 'Sweetie, what are you doing?' I thought it was [fiance] Alexis [Denisof]. But then I looked and Alexis was asleep next to me.”

Nicolas Cage

Yes, the most memed actor in Hollywood has faced a series of paranormal experiences, too. In 2007 Cage purchased one of the most haunted houses in America in a bid to get inspired to write the latest horror novel.

He bought the LaLaurie Mansion in New Orleans, a house belonging to one of the 19th century’s most infamous serial killers.

Many believe the slaves tortured by Delphine LaLaurie still haunt the mansion. Perhaps Cage heard the wails and moans of her victims, or maybe he felt the demonic presence rumoured to have taken part in a murder of a tenant in 1894?

Demi Lovato

Lovato often makes mention of her beliefs in the paranormal - especially when it comes to her haunted house in Texas. She claims a young girl named Emily haunts her home in the South, and has even mentioned that she was a childhood ‘friend’ when she was growing up.

But this tale has to be the most terrifying:

"One of my friends, Tucker, came over one time and he asked, 'So your house is haunted?' I said, 'Yeah, just watch. Something will happen. Something always happens.' We started to watch a movie when all of a sudden a laptop in my kitchen started to play a movie also. It was a black screen before, so it was a question of who turned it on and hit play.

And after that Tucker texted a friend saying, 'I think this house is haunted, a movie just turned on by itself,' and there was a 'glitch' in his phone that kept texting him back the word 'definitely' over and over again. That happened about 30 times."

Peter Jackson

Jackson might be known for putting mystical and magical creatures on the big screen, but he’s seen similar things in real life, too.

"One night I woke up and there was a figure in the room. She was really scary—her face was like a silent scream. She glided across the room and disappeared into the wall." He told Fran in the morning and she said, "'Was it the woman with a screaming face?’ We had never spoken about it. 

She had seen the same ghost two years earlier. So I do believe in some energy, a spirit or a soul..."

Kendrick Lamar

From one famous rapper to another:

Lamar told Home Grown Radio that he had a dream about Tupac Shakur - a dream he believed conveyed a message from beyond. In the dream Tupac told him “Keep doing what you doing, don’t let my music die.”

Keanu Reeves

He’s one of the internet’s favourite celebrities - but what isn’t so famous about this Matrix star is his paranormal experience from when he was living in NYC.

"I'm probably like six, seven years old, we'd come from Australia. Renata, [our] nanny, in the bedroom, my sister is asleep, she's sitting over there, I'm hanging out. There was a doorway and all of a sudden this jacket comes waving through the doorway, this empty jacket — there's no body, there's no legs, it's just there. And then it disappears..."

The nanny saw the exact same thing.

Adele

Ghost nuns are not only on-trend but also terrify-ing. Adele can testify to that. In 2012 the singer moved into a plush Sussex mansion which used to be a convent.

A couple creepy noises later and she hired around-the-clock security to protect her against the paranormal activity. Who knows what she might’ve seen in her new $6 million home?

Matthew McConaughey

McConaughey claims his Hollywood mansion was haunted by an unhappy female spirit by the name of Madame Blu.

"I was not even under the influence and she was there. She wasn't that happy, it didn't seem like she was going to be much fun to hang around or have in my house, so I went ahead and stood my ground. I opened the door and said 'You can move around all you want but I'm not going anywhere.'"

"For weeks everyone that came to the house said the same thing: 'There's someone down in that hall, there's somebody down in that hall.'"

Ryan Gosling

Most of the celebs that made this list whip out their charming ‘lil spooky story to pique interest in their latest career venture. Gosling’s story, however, is actually pretty f*cking scary.

One day, in his childhood home, he saw a ghost of a young boy.

"He just sat. And I knew from a very young age that he was a ghost, too. He scared me. I told my mother, but she couldn't see him. Nobody could. And I learned to live with that. I had to…

Then, a few years later, [my mother] thought she saw him, then almost right away my cousin saw him, and then my uncle. And we were outta there in fairly short order."

Laura Linney

Linney is one of Hollywood’s most cherished actresses - and even on the stage she has witnessed something from the other side.

She became a believer in the paranormal after working in the Belasco Theater on Broadway.

"I had forgotten this, and I was doing a play with Jane Alexander, and I turned to Jane Alexander, and I looked up to the upper balcony—there are two balconies there—and the upper balcony you can only get in from the outside, and those doors were locked; and I looked up, and there was a woman standing in the front row looking over with a blue dress and blonde hair.

I just thought, 'Well, hello!' I looked back at Jane, and I looked back up, and she was gone. I went to the house manager and I said, 'Joe, I think I saw a ghost.' And he went, 'male or female?' I said, 'female.' And he went, 'blue dress, blonde hair?'"

Megan Mullally

Another famous ghost that haunts a famous face features on this list. But this time the paranormal activity described by Mullally is certainly the most tragic.

She claims she lived in a house haunted by the spirit of Nicole Brown Simpson who was murdered in 1994. She believes that only when her husband watched the American Crime Story series about her death did the strange occurrences (most of which were odd and unexplained sounds) settle.

Kristen Stewart

Only last year our very own Bella Swan opened up not just about her own experiences with ghosts, but her own spiritual connection with other people.

“If I’m in a weird, small town, making a movie, and I’m in a strange apartment, I will literally be like, ‘No, please, I cannot deal. Anyone else, but it cannot be me.’ Who knows what ghosts are, but there is an energy that I’m really sensitive to. Not just with ghosts, but with people. People stain rooms all the time.”

Carrie Fisher

Carrie Fisher lived an extraordinary life. She was one of the few a-listers to openly discuss her struggles with mental health and drug use before it became so accepted in mainstream society. Unfortunately, these topics would haunt her in a rather more supernatural manner, too.

Following the overdose of a friend sleeping next to her in her mansion, Fisher claimed she would often feel their presence around her.

"Lights would go on and off, and I had this toy machine, that when you touched it would say, 'F*ck you! Eat sh*t! You’re an asshole!' And it would go off in the night, by itself, in my closet.”

She later hired an exorcist to cleanse the house of the spirit.

Halle Berry

Whilst filming Introducing Dorothy Dandridge, Berry would experience intense paranormal activity she believed was down to her dress.

A dress formerly owned by the woman titling the film.

"I'd come home and the housekeeper would say she'd heard my vanity chair moving upstairs in the bathroom. When the film was over, I desperately wanted to keep her dress, but it had to go. And then everything was fine."

Lady Gaga

Just like Kendrick Lamar, Lady Gaga has had her own dealings with the spirit of an icon. But instead of rap legend Tupac, she got the late fashion designer Alexander McQueen.

"Right after he died, I wrote 'Born This Way.' I think he's up in heaven with fashion strings in his hands, marionetting away, planning this whole thing…

I didn't even write the f*king song. He did!"

Melissa McCarthy

Comedian Melissa McCarthy revealed in 2016 that she believed in ghosts - and gave insight into where her beliefs came from.

"I grew up on a farm and I didn't have any real friends,

I have a very strong belief that people are out there, because I was certainly talking to someone in those barns. Otherwise I'm just crazy. I really strongly believe in ghosts."

Jessica Alba

In 2008, Alba told US Weekly about her own encounter with the paranormal when she was a child.

“I felt this pressure and I couldn’t get up, I couldn’t scream, I couldn’t talk, I couldn’t do anything

Something definitely took the covers off me and I definitely couldn’t get off the bed, and then, once I did, I screamed, ran to my parents’ room and I don’t think I spent many nights in that house ever again.”

Jenna Bush Hager

The White House already has a reputation for its paranormal activity (Abe Lincoln often makes a reappearance during times of crisis) and this former first daughter has evidence to support such a claim.

"I was asleep, there was a fireplace in my room and all of a sudden I heard 1920's music coming out. I could feel it. I freaked out and ran into my sister's room. She was like, 'Please go back to sleep, this is ridiculous.'"

Lucy Liu

This Charlie’s Angel - like so many of the people included in this article - claims she had sexual relations with something supernatural.

“I felt everything. I climaxed. And then he floated away.”

Bella Thorne

"I was lying in bed when I saw a shadowy, silvery figure of an old woman creeping across my room, then it slipped into my closet…

I panicked and ran out of bed and swung open my closet door only to see she was in there. But she was gone. I was sure I had seen her ghost! It was really freaky."

Do you believe ‘em?

If you liked this post be sure to like, reblog, and hit the follow button! 

Got your own paranormal experience to share? Head on over to the peoplesparanormal.com to read real ghost stories and submit your own!

Happy Halloween, lads.

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #466

“she is the butcher, she wants the air  /  she hides the scars under her hair”

Who do you think cares the most about you? My mom. What do you do when you’re pissed off? Isolate and cry. Have you ever had unprotected sex? Good luck catchin' me do that. What did your mother study at university? Social work. What was the last thing you took a video of? I have zero idea. What is your least favorite kind of weather? Hot and humid weather can actually fuck off. What was the last housework you did? Does changing my cat's litter count? Have you ever had famous neighbors? Not to my knowledge. Have you ever lived in a small community where everyone knew each other? Nope. Have you ever actually drank warm milk? NO EW EW EW EW EW Do you talk to your pets? If you don't, are you REALLY a pet parent??????? Who is a famous person you could see yourself reading a biography about? He's always said he doesn't want to but I really hope Mark writes an autobiography one day alskdjklafjw;ejr Are there any numbers you dislike for any reason? No. What skill that you have do you make most use of? idk man Have you ever done something sexual that you regret? Nah. Have you ever said anything to the last person you kissed that you regret? No. Have you ever ate so much you puked? No. Do you care about what others think of your physical appearance? Sometimes/some places yes, other times/places, no. Would you rather eat cookies or brownies? It would probably change with what I'm feeling, but I lean towards a nice center piece brownie. :^) If you’re out late, where are you likely to be? This literally never happens. Do you ever visit your mall’s arcade (if it has one)? Our mall is lame as fuck. It definitely doesn't have one. What’s your absolute favorite topic to discuss? Mark, lmao. What is your least favorite topic to discuss? Politics. Have you ever been confined to a wheelchair? "Confined" seems like a strong word, but a nurse did give me one at the doctor's office when I massively tore a ligament in my foot and could barely walk at all. If you have a job, who’s your closest friend at work? Don't remind me that I don't have a job. Have you told anyone you love them today? Not yet, but I'm sure I will later. Have you ever worked in an office? No, but I guess that's what I'm going to wind up going for once I'm ready to job-hunt again... It feels sad that I'm actually aiming for the cubicle life now just because my interaction with people would be much more limited than with most other jobs. Who does the grocery shopping in your house? My mom. Do you prefer margarine or butter, and why? I don't even know if I'd recognize the taste difference. Have you ever been in serious trouble at work or school? No. Do you have any strange fears or phobias that you’re embarrassed of? That I'm embarrassed of, no. Can you smell anything right now? No. Have you ever tried coconut water? No. Which Asian country would you like to visit the most? Idk. Maybe Japan? How old were your parents when they got engaged? I have no idea. Have you ever done a first aid course? No. If so, would you be prepared to perform CPR if necessary? No. Have you ever ‘done it’ in a hotel room? No. Just the idea grosses me out. Where is your next vacation? Couldn't tell ya, buddy. Which are better black or green olives? I'm not a fan of black olives, and I won't even TRY green ones. They just look so fucking disgusting to me. Does your car have a backup camera? Mom's doesn't. Have either of your parents ever been in trouble with the law? No. Do you have a preferred brand of bottled water? Essentia. Is your skin more oily, dry, or combination? It's a combination depending on the location. Where did you meet your current significant other? High school band. What kind of house do you wish you lived in? One that's in the woods. What was the last compliment you received from an old lady? I don't have a clue. Do you know how to cut hair? Properly, no. Have you ever had a classmate die? I believe maybe once? If you have a song stuck in your head, what is it? I recently discovered "Foxy, Foxy" by Rob Zombie and it's Good Stuff. Do you tend to space out a lot? Very much so. What people have changed your life for the better? My parents, my psychiatrist, a PHP therapist, Sara, debatably Jason... Have you ever had any kind of dangerous addiction? What’s this addiction? Caffeine, I guess. Are your parents still married, divorced, or split up? Like this decision? They're divorced, and while it sucks for your parents to split up, it's a decision that I definitely approve of given all they ever did was fight when I was growing up. Them staying together would've been very destructive. Have you ever heard of Hollywood Undead? Do you like them? Well yeah, and I like a large number of songs to where I'd consider myself a fan. I actually had a shirt in high school. Has anyone ever called you a coward before? Who called you that? I don't believe so. Are you a Jeffree Star fan? Or no? Do you think he’s awesome/dumb? Honestly, yes. Like he's done dumb shit, but has more than sufficiently apologized for it in my opinion and changed his behavior for the better. I also - astonishingly - like his music quite a bit. As well, his work ethic is fucking INCREDIBLE, like extremely admirable. Has your grandmother ever made you anything? Not including cookies. I don't think so. I don't even think she ever liked me. Do you disgust anyone? Did they tell you that? Why is this, anyways? Not that I know of. When was the last time you cried, and why (if you want to share)? I don't remember, actually. Probably just about life. Who was the last person who was rude to you? *shrug* Do you have a relationship with God? lol no, and even if I believed in him, I wouldn't have a remotely decent opinion of that entity. Is weed legal in your state? No. Have you ever thrown up in class? In kindergarten, yes. What is something that you used to be ashamed of, but now you’re not? As a kid, being a girl, I was so embarrassed by liking Pokemon. Now, I am literally wearing an Eeveelutions shirt and went out in public lmao. I couldn't care less about loving them cuties. Have you ever walked outside in below zero weather? No; I've never experienced those temperatures. Have you ever held a newborn baby? Yes, but I was sitting down. I would be WAY too scared of dropping a baby otherwise. Are a ton of your Facebook friends getting married and having kids now? I legitimately think most of my friends on there already have kids and/or are married/engaged. It's triggering sometimes and was a massive motivator for me taking a break from there. What’s something you believe in that most people don’t? So uh, I hope this doesn't sound insensitive given how it just passed, but I 100% believe the U.S. government was to some extent involved in 9/11. There is an incredible amount of evidence when you do the research. Is there anyone who’s dear in your heart who’s going down the wrong path? I worry about one of my good friends quite a bit. She is horribly addicted to pot (like, she admits it) in a state where it's not legal, and I'm concerned she'll face legal repercussions eventually. She also dates an absolute lowlife asshole, but they've been together for a very long time, and I just worry about how that might damage her later down the road. Do you get enough sleep? God, it never feels like it. What’s something you wish you would have known sooner? That college wouldn't work for me. Like, I dropped out of three. I do NOT want to know the debt I'm in. What’s the next big project you plan to start? Idk. Possibly something for Girt's birthday because Mom really pissed me off and doesn't want to spend *any*thing to help me get something for him. Is that bad on my end? Like she pointed out he knows I don't work, but like... come on. He's my bf, one of my greatest friends ever, and you can't spare anything? I really don't know if that's selfish or not; it's just that if I get him nothing, I will feel like ACTUAL garbage. So making something may just be my only option. I just dunno what... Do you think you were cute in your baby pictures? omg yes, idk what happened Do you remember pre-school? A lot of it, yes. My long-term memory is pretty damn amazing. Would you allow your children to date prior to 16? Yes. Does your town have a farmer’s market? I think so? Which app on your phone do you tend to get the most notifications from? Pokemon GO, lol. How old were you when you met your current best friend? Around 11. What is something you gave up on after many failed attempts? Photography is coming real fuckin close. I've been trying to go somewhere with that for YEARS. Would you rather read a book, or listen to the audiobook? Physically read. I think my attention would stray listening to an audiobook. Do you think tomorrow will be a better day than today? It's possible, idk. I had a doctor's appointment today that absolutely slaughtered my mood, so I feel fucking horrific, but Girt is also coming over today, and I'm sure he'll cheer me up. I won't see him tomorrow, so that's a bummer. With which friend are you most likely to share a secret? Sara. What is the last thing you complained about? It's hot as shit outside. Is there a show you swear that you will never watch? 13 Reasons Why. What was the last topic that you ranted about? Anti-vax bullshit. Who is the most sensitive person that you know? Bitch, me. Have you ever had a tooth (or teeth) pulled? No. What did you do last Halloween? Literally nothing on the actual holiday. :/ Fire drills: Did you ever wish they were real… just once? ... To get out of school, yes. :x What was the last thing that you felt strongly about? I am still positively livid about Texas' "heartbeat bill." Fuck that place and fuck that law. What is one insecurity you have about your body? Um, everything???? What is one part of your body that you are proud of? Nothing????

[ispiderdudei]

Only-part five

prologue part one part two part three part four part five

dad! Tom Holland x OC

only masterlist

my masterlist

Summary: Tom was living his dream as a rising star in Hollywood for the past six years. Even though it was everything he ever wanted he missed everything that he left behind. His family back in London. His best friend who’s career had also taken off and though they were roomates they never had time for one another. His first love that was torn apart by a dumbass decision. He wished he could take it all back. All the stupid decisions he made in the past that could have been the other way around if he choose the right choice. What happens when he wakes up one day in the life he should have chosen?

warnings: nervous Tom, kinda fluff, Blythe being a smol bean, um yeah that's about it

word count: 3289

authors note: I feel like everyone of these I have an excuse on why I'm late to post. Well, it’s because I’m a senior in high school who has to apply to a million scholarships so I don't have to worry about student loans, but I’ll survive:) I also am taking three college classes and ironically English is the one that is killing me. I thank you for your patiences and wish me luck. Idk when the next part will come out but don't worry it’s happening. Also you know, just feel free to send me an ask anytime like I don’t mind (PSA this is my favorite look ever pic is definitely not mine)

After Blythe’s little incident and a good ten minutes of Lennon tending to her daughters small wounds they finally were able to calm her down before making their way back to the party. Tom was still overwhelmed by what happened earlier and it made every worse case scenario run through his mind. It was mostly about how he imagined Lennon finding out. The more he thought about telling her the more he backtracked his plan all together. Tom wasn’t going to tell her today. He knew that for sure, but that didn’t mean he could wait forever. Tom didn’t know exactly how this scenario would play out but he really didn’t want to at the least. He didn’t want Lennon to hate him and he also didn’t want her to act like she forgave him automatically.

He decided he needed to find the right opportunity because that’s what is best for everyone. He needed to wait it out because he still didn’t know if it was permanent, so why would he jeopardize it. If Blythe had come in a few moments later he would be hating himself even more. No matter how much he wondered if Lennon's lips were still as sensational as he remembered them to be. Another part of him wondered if he felt guilty just being so close to having an intimate moment with her how much more of that would build up inside of him.

Lennon brushes the curls out of her daughter's hair one last time before giving her a soft smile, “Are you going to be okay now?” The girl sniffed and nodded watching her mother stand up. Lennon turned to Tom giving him a sorrowful look and it made him panic even more because he knew what it was for.

Lennon and Tom grabbed the food while Blythe trailer behind them as they all walked back outside. Tom noticed more people than he did before, but that was because he just wasn’t paying attention earlier when he walked in with Xio. He saw many faces familiar, new, and old. It made his mind wonder on how the hell he was going to converse with them and still take on the persona of this other Tom. It was easier for him to talk to Harrison and Xio because they knew it wasn’t him. It wasn’t easy to talk with Lennon, but he was comfortable in the small conversations they have had so far.

“Can I go back to playing,” Blythe asked her mother in a more chipper mood looking at a few kids that Tom didn’t recognize.

Lennon nodded looking down at her. Blythe smiled rushing over to them stumbling a little. “Be careful please,” Lennon yelled at her letting out a sigh, “That child is a spitting image of you, I swear.”

Tom looked at Lennon shaking his head, “She’s a hundred percent you.” He meant every word their daughter was definitely a copy Lennon from the short time Tom knew her. Blythe didn’t have to do much to tell Tom that she was Lennon’s daughter because she was so much like her. He didn’t have to think about the fact that she had the same physical features as him but her mannerisms were like her mother’s.

Tom couldn’t remember much from his childhood. Well, he couldn’t remember some things, but he did remember Lennon. She was always so happy and full of energy. She never seemed to slow down and kept him on his toes when he was around her. When something sad would happen she would be back to herself in no time. Blythe proved that to Tom just mere seconds ago when she was a mess and then went straight to her task before she got hurt. It was almost scary how much their personalities were almost the same.

Lennon just scoffed at Tom rolling her eyes, “You only say that because you’re too stubborn to realize she is a girl version of you.”

“You can’t tell me that child who is stopping to pick the dandelion to make a wish is mini me,” Tom asked as he watched the five-year old stopped dead in her tracks looking down at the weed before picking it up and holding it tightly with one hand squeezing her eyes shut as the children rush pass her before blowing it out with the biggest smile on her face.

Lennon let out a laugh, “Well, I remember both of us doing that if I do recall.”

Tom smiled softly, “I’m glad I did because most of my wishes came true.” Well not exactly for him but the other him. You’ve learned by now Tom has always had the biggest crush on Lennon no matter how much he didn’t want to admit it. Lennon liking him back was a shock and he never expected her to return the feelings no matter how many times Haz told him to grow a pair and ask her out. She was too perfect for him

Lennon gave him a sly smile rolling her eyes, “You were always one for cheese Tom.”

Tom shrugged, “What can I say?

“Ah, Thomas, nice to see you not overthinking things,” a thick Irish accent said behind him making the hairs on the back of his neck. Tom knew it anywhere because it was one he had to reason with when was dating Lennon and to be honest it still gave him anioxty to this day.

The funny thing about Lennon’s father, Alex, is that he is the living embodiment of James Bond, Pierce Brosnan’s version, of course. One of his most fond memories of Lennon’s father is when Lennon, him, and Harrison went to see Mamma Mia in the Cinema. He took Lennon home after and he was face to face with the man when walking her to the door swearing he would break out into a song by ABBA at any given moment, or run off with some Meryl Streep doppelgänger to Kalokairi. He would never do that to his wife though. They were far too in love.

It wasn’t that Tom enjoyed Lennon’s father’s company it’s just something you don’t exactly need when you have everything else running through your mind. Having to deal with the man he had been afraid of since he started dating Lennon wasn’t at the top of his list. He respected the man as much as he did his own father, but he knew that in his old life the man probably hated his guts. Tom won’t blame him for it because he would only blame himself. Hell, he already did.

Tom let out a nervous laugh that didn’t have to be forced because his he was so anxious he was scared Alex would sense something off about him because it has happened many times before. The man was like a bloodhound on a search for its owners next game while on an afternoon hunt. “Well I am trying. Being laid back was a goal I have for the new year of my life.”

Lennon's father took a sip of his drink before winking and pointing at Tom mere seconds after the glass left his lips. “That’s always been a good goal of yours. Glad you are finally living up to it.”

“Awe, come on dad, Tom has already been doing that,” Lennon beamed looking at her husband making Tom give her a timid smile. Alex gave him a look that Tom has seen before.

He was having serious déjà vu and it wasn’t the good kind. It was like a happier version of the memory before and Tom was slightly scared. The memory was when Tom asked for her father to approve him asking Lennon for his hand in marriage. They were never engaged when they called things off but Tom wanted to do it so desperately.

It was at a dinner party Nikki decided to hold for something Tom couldn’t quite remember, but he did at the time. It was only them and a few family friends nothing too special; him and Lennon were a few months into their relationship that still felt surreal to Tom.

He knew he needed to talk to Alex and he was scared out of his mind. He feared rejection the most because he knew the man hardly trusted him when he was just friends with his daughter. Lennon was off with Xio and a few other girls that were invited and Tom took the chance. He saw him standing on the porch talking to his father and knew it was now or never.

Taking a deep breath he walked over to the tall Irishman trying his best to not stumble and fall on his face while on the way to ask the man the question that will change his future. As he approached closer Tom had second thoughts but he tried his hardest to hide them so it wouldn’t get the best of him. He was sticking to his plan no matter how much he wanted to not ask all together.

Alex noticed Tom approaching upon first glance and gave him a smile. Tom looked between the two men giving them both a nod while putting his hands in his pockets.

“Lennon leaves you alone for a couple of minutes and you don’t know what to do, am I right Thomas?” Alex said smiling down at him earning a laugh from Dominic.

Tom smiled nervously, “Uh, no, actually I came over here to talk to you about something. I hope I’m not interrupting anything.”

“Not at all,”  Alex reassured him, “This old man was just getting a good point around about London’s traffic laws.”

Dominic shook his head, “I’m sure we can continue our political debate later. Perhaps over another game of golf. I can play easier so I don’t win.”

“I think that’s how you play naturally Holland,” Alex playfully said back earning a laugh from Dominic.

Tom’s father looked towards the kitchen at his mother who was motioning for some assistance from him and let out a site tucking his hands in his pockets, “I suppose the spouse is calling me. Perfect timing for you, Tom.” He gave both his son and Alex a nod before walking off.

Tom gulped, he hoped it wasn’t noticeable to the man standing in front of him because if he knew how terrified he was there was no telling on what he was going to say in their next conversation.

Alex slung his arm around tom’s shoulder patting letting out a chuckle, “Your father is something Thomas. Maybe that's why I like you so much.” It was something said so simple, but it gave Tom a spark of hope and eased his nerves at the thought of Lennon’s father liking him. “Now, my boy, what is it you need to talk to me about,” Alex asked as he lead tom to a secluded part of the Holland’s yard stopping looking down at him as he waited patiently for Tom to speak.

Tom stood a little taller than normal adjusting his jacket as he tried to relax his shoulders, “I, uh… well sir you are well aware I have liked your daughter for a while. Even before we were dating.”

Alex narrowed his eyes at Tom. It wasn’t out of anger, no, far from it. He was doing it because it seemed he was trying to piece together at what Tom was getting at. Alex is an intelligent intellectual that can seem to figure things out quickly and it usually was a problem or a person that he was able to solve. Tom, however, was scared to say anything before the man spoke. He felt like he was constantly trying to impress the man. “I’m well aware of you’re infatuation for my daughter, yes. You two have been dating for a while I hope you’d at least expect me to notice.”

Tom’s eyes widened, “O-of course, Sir. I had no doubt that you are i-in-informed of Lennon and I.”

The man let out another deep throat chuckle, “Now Thomas, you don’t need to act nervous around me we’ve known each other for quite some time and I think it's only fitting for you to not stress so much around me.”

But that was the thing, everything that was going through Tom’s mind at the moment was making him nervous. What he was doing could make or break him and Lennon’s relationship. He was scared shittless to say the least. He cleared his throat hoping years of acting school and control of his voice could help him the situation he was in, “Well, you see, what I’m going to ask might.”

“What would that mean,” Alex asked his voice laced in concern. It caught tom by surprise. It only made tom’s mind wonder to Alex thinking the worst-case scenario. “Is there something you need to tell me Thomas.”

It was that look.

Tom let out a nervous laugh, “I guess I said that wrong and can see where you are interpreting what I’m saying as something negative, but I promise it's not.”

The olderman placed his hands on his hips, “Well go on.”

Tom took a deep breath, “Well let me start out by saying I love your daughter more than anything. I think she is breathtaking and her flaws are just as beautiful as her perfections. Lennon has taught me how to stay grounded through everything and has given me more second chances than I could count. She is amazing and has this presents about her that makes me want to know than I already do about her. Even our relationship started as friends she is always proving that she is the one that I’ve always wanted to have a life with as I grow older. I know your gonna say we are too young and that I’m crazy for even thinking you’d say yes. And believe me I have prepared myself for your rejection-”

“Yes.”

Tom didn’t even processes Alex’s reactions. “I just want you to know that I’m not going to stop asking, because I know she is my future. Not some stupid movie deal or another musical opportuinity… What?”

“Yes, Thomas you have my blessing.”

“You’re serious.”

“I can take it back if you like and say no,” Alex state bluntly.

“No!” Tom said a little too loudly making some of the people close to them turn to the sudden raise of his voice. He cleared his throat, “No. I uh- I just- I didn’t think that would work out so well.”

“For Christ sakes,Thomas, don’t tell me you have flashcards prepared.”

Tom let out another laugh, “Something like that yeah.”

Alex rolled his eyes, “You try too hard. I do trust you, Thomas, because Lennon trust you. Do I think I’m crazy for approving for my daughter to marry so young? Yes, but I rather it be with you than some son of a bitch that I know wasn’t good for her.” He looked over Tom’s shoulder and smiled.

“Hi dad,” he heard from behind him, “Tommy.” The two men didn’t say anything. “Did I interrupt something?” Lennon raised an eyebrow before intertwining her fingers with Tom.

“Not a thing Lennonbug,” Alex said smiling at his daughter proudly before giving the same look to Tom.

This was everything he wanted.

However, he didn’t want to think about the look Alex was giving him right now, “How have you been improving Thomas?”

Tom’s palms were sweaty as Lennon gripped his arm. This wasn’t him being scared shitless asking her father to marry her. This was him being scared shitless on what to say to the man in front of him in an opposite way. “Just… going with the flow…” Tom mentally cursed himself because he would never say that.

Both of them gave Tom an odd look before looking at each other. Before either one of them could speak on Tom’s choice of words the voice of Nikki came from the front porch, “Okay everyone lunch is ready. Let’s hurry and eat before Harry dies of starvation.” Before everyone could trample over to the plastic table outside that was filled with a full buffet Nikki stopped them, “But before we do so we should congratulate Tom for achieving all that he has. I’m proud of you for blessing me with the two most adorable children and the best daughter in law a mother could ask for.”

Tom smiled at his mother nodding in appreciation placing a hand on Lennon’s back. “Thanks Mum,” there was a slight pause as if everyone expected him to say something else, “What are we all standing around for let’s eat, I’m famished.”

The guests cheered before making there way to the table. Blythe ran up to Tom grabbing a hold of his had pulling him towards the crowd of people waiting in line, “Come on Daddy we need to hurry up if you want to get something to eat.”

Lennon laughed at the little girl, “Hang on little bird we need to wait for our turn. There are still going to be quite a bit of food left by we get to the table.” She turned to Tom, I’m going to get Eli and make sure you don’t put too much on her plate. We don’t need the incident we had at the twins party. As for you,” she turned to her daughter, “ You need to at least have a few vegetables on your plate if you want any cake.”

“Okay, Mummy,” Blythe let out another annoyed groan tugging Tom’s had more. Making him

practically stumble to the line of family and friends.

The party unfolded like any other everyday gathering with Tom able to avoid questions his brothers threw at him throughout lunch. Most of which were covered by Xiomara, and the slight uncomfort he felt when Lennon got up to go get something from the kitchen didn’t help his current situation.

Just when Tom thought he couldn’t bare his siblings grilling him about his current life a sense of relief came over him as the voice of Lennon came through the back door. Her smile was as bright as the glow of the candles lit brightly on the cake she was holding. Her voice carried the familiar tune as everyone else around him began to sing happy birthday.

Lennon set the cake down in front of him, placing a hand on his shoulder making him tense up. He made sure to not flinch so much. Being put in a situation that might make everything go away the next day made Tom start to panic. What was he supposed to do in this situation? Everyone tuning into the song with their gaze on him. Blythe plopping down next to Tom leaning over looking in awe at the pastry in front of her father.

“Make sure you wish for something good daddy,” The little girl whispered as the short song came to an end. He knew that but what the hell was he supposed to wish for. She looked over at him with her doe eyes, “Can I blow them out with you?”

Tom gave her a tight smile nodded allowing her to slide into his lap as everyone huddled around them. Tom shut his eyes and told himself to just live in the moment. With Blythe’s weight shifting in his lap and the feeling of Lennons hand on his shoulder this moment couldn’t have been more perfect. He couldn’t wish for this life to last but he could just let it temporarily engulf him with happiness.

That was his wish to just see what happens next with what could have been.

taglist: @let-me-luve-you​ @lemondropirwin​ @afterglowparker​ @underooshields @mybitchborky​ @theamuz​

[youcantfiremebecauseiquit]

I think Courtney Love is as fake as Emilie Autumn. They both created alternate pasts and idealized identities for the images they want to project as famous people.

I just realized i wrote 2 pages or something of text. If you asked me in person i’d tell you maybe two sentences but when i have to write, i write too much. Sorry lol.

It’s your opinion and you have right to think so. But CL being comparable to Emilie Autumn? Dude. Alternate pasts? What pasts? Courtney Love didn’t create her past, she literally had fucked up past. And she didn’t lie about her family. She would sometimes exaggerate while saying her Hollywood/rock anecdotes but she didn’t lie about her past. I recommend buying „Dirty Blonde”. Idk, I think you simply don’t like her. Courtney Love had kinderwhore look for a few years and then switched to designer clothes, but she doesn’t undermine her previous looks and records (except for Pretty On The Inside, she doesn’t like it now). Courtney doesn’t create any fake alternate reality, she have recurring themes (like fallen women for example), but she does what she wants while Emilie milks the same old worn out thing for years. She writes about anything she wants to, from violence towards women and shady strip club situations, fallen women, eating disorders, post partum depression, riot grrrl poser movements and elitism to love, mourning, beauty/ugliness and finally being broken, in a constant falling-rising up-falling cycle (especially on later records). EA basically only writes about one subject for years. Courtney’s music may not be complicated and she might not have a perfect voice/looks/personality but she’s honest in her songs – girls and boys worldwide find themselves in her lyrics and experiences. You may not like her but that doesn’t mean her music is fake. I don’t think Emilie Autumn’s lyrics are fake either, it’s just that she’s narcissistic, mean and compulsively lying, rewriting her past every few years and only accepting endless praise – if you don’t like her, you’re her enemy. Courtney Love doesn’t care. She lets people think whatever they want to think.

As a Courtney Love fan knowing a lot about her i look at her a little different than people not liking her/not reading,listening to her. Courtney Love fans know well that sometimes you’ve got to take what Courtney says with a huge grain of salt, cause she likes to exaggerate stories to make them more interesting. (And Kurt Cobain did the very same thing. “Rock’n’roll stories” from his diaries. The whole “i was bullied cause i desperately tried to sleep with disabled girl in high school” story from Montage of Heck? That’s a madeup story he wrote in diary and later recorded on tape when he was bored. Somehow people don’t consider him “liar”.) Usually as a Courntey fan you learn to notice that border, and you can somehow “feel” where she exaggerates. Mostly i’d say when we notice those moments we all kind of get amused and laugh it off & continue to reading further. It’s not like we immediately get offended like “OMG she’s a liar i’m a fan no more”. The problem with EA is nobody believed she could ever lie, you would get hunted by fans if you dared to doubt her words. Her „history” was designed as something 100% true and real, but it turned out there’s more of fake than truth, yet she still continues to keep up her lies.

You can dislike Courtney’s nowadays lifestyle like red carpet designer dresses and all that glamour. But “creating a past and persona” or being a liar comparable to Emilie Autumn? How so? She doesn’t lie about her name - everybody knows her real name and she never pretended that Love is her birth surename. She adapted name Courtney Love in 80′s after her friend Pat Smear (from The Germs & later Nirvana) told her this would be a good artistic nickname for her. 

Courtney Love never lied about her parents or her youth. She had bad experiences with her family & certainly was raised poorly, but she didn’t try to rewrite her story or bury her parents in the “fire” (although she has good reasons to). Everybody knows about her therapist mother Linda Carrol & her father is Hank Harrison, previously manager of The Grateful Dead band. Courtney was even featured on the back cover on one of their records as a tiny child. Courtney wasn’t on good terms with mother and usually circled between her and other relatives. Her father is a complete piece of shit - he gave Courtney LSD when she was a toddler, which was why he lost a custody of her. He claims to know his daughter so well, even though he wasn’t raising her at all, and wrote a fucking book about how psychotic Courtney is, although he lost custody of her when she was a tiny toddler. And how Courtney killed Kurt. No, actually, he wrote A FUCKING BIOGRAPHY OF KURT, even though he never met him. Of course Kurt-was-murdered conspiracy fans consider him their beloved mascot because of that, asking for his opinion & believing anything he says.

Her family certainly weren’t as rich as EA’s, but they had some recognition and money. In the beginning of 80′s CL started getting some trust fund left by maternal grandparents, so she could afford going to other countries & make additional money stripping. 

Later she spent youth in different countries & boarding schools, later got arrested for shoplifting and spent time in correctional facility for teenage girls. In Dirty Blonde book she wrote about her experiences from that time, printed some papers from Hillcrest describing her behaviour. Idk, but Emilie Autumn took A HUGE inspiration from Courtney’s Dirty Blonde book. All the idea for including papers from hospital, all scrapbooking style was taken from Courtney. Even the fucking “red crayon” - guess what, Courtney’s book begins with a letter from facility written in red crayon, cause they don���t allow them to have pens.

The only thing i have doubts about are her universities. She said she studied English, philosophy & theology but I think it was only a few months/semesters. When you say someone studied this and that you immediately think the person finished studies, but in fact she was starting and dropping learning. But she never said she graduated or anything, so i think it is obvious she studied for one or two semesters or in weekends or something.

She always had an interest in rock music, although she prefered 80′s new wave and stuff like Fleetwood Mac and Echo and The Bunnymen, which she always admitted anyway. It’s not like she suddenly adapted rock music after it became profitable. She only learned how to play guitar in the very beginnings of Hole, so she probably only wanted to sing earlier. In the 80′s she spent time in Liverpool. She was hanging around with Echo and The Bunnymen band and apparently lived at Julian Cope’s house. It’s not made up, cause Cope was really jealous of her fame in 90′s. Plus i heard he wrote about her in his autobiography. Somebody wrote a book about Courtney’s time spent in Liverpool and London this year, but i don’t have it yet. But it’s not like she took all those stories from nowhere, she really spent time living with Echo & being a friend/roadie for other bands. I remember she also knew Joe Strummer, she was a friend or a roadie for The Clash. Later they also starred in Alex Cox’s movie. She was a young impressionable girl at the time, so she was learning from those bands. She had more goth/punk style at the time. 

People excuse her of leeching of whatever rockband she can & you can interpret it however you want, but seeing how she roadied with punk bands in her teens and how she liked to meet new rock bands after she got famous shows she liked to surround herself with people from rock circles. Men from rock bands hang around other men/women from other bands all the time but it’s always Courtney Love that gets shit for that.

You can doubt Courtney’s words on her inventing “kinderwhore” and starting that style trend. Although it was Courtney who coined that term. People usually yell that Courtney is unoriginal and that she stole the style from Kat Bjelland. And i say bullshit, it wasn’t even started by Kat. The girl from Divinyls did it before (CL admited she took it from her), Kim Shattuck of The Muffs did it before.

She said she liked cute dresses so much as an adult cause her mother always dressed her up rather manly– if you look at her childhood photos she indeed wasn’t looking like a „girly girl”, her mother was much into hippie culture. She got into that feminine look as she lost a lot of weight in the beginning of 90’s, so i guess that’s why she could pull off that babydoll look. Anyway here’s the interview where she explains the idea behind her style:

Courtney listened to different bands, she liked harsh noise like Big Black but she also liked Fleetwood Mac. She posted an advert she’s looking for people inspired by these particular bands, so it’s not like she was lying about her softer music side. I believe Pretty On The Inside was partly a “fuck you” to Kat Bjelland, partly she wanted to record the heaviest, most noisy record by a girl-fronted band. You could say she wasn’t honest cause she tried to impress people from that scene and be cool enough for them. Well, Courtney actually admitted later she wanted to prove her worth, impress people from that scene etc. That’s why the record is so noisy. But the lyrics aren’t fake. That kind of writing was consistent in her poems. She took those themes from her experiences, people she knew and situations she observed as a girl in a stripping business.

I don’t know how can anyone even judge if Live Through This era was fake or not, recording wise she competed with her husband and wanted a more polished record. But later in 1994 or 1995 she was a wreck, numbed with heroin after what happened. It’s really fucking hard to „fake a persona” when you’re a) mourning b) on heroin/oxy. What’s there to fake? Wearing skirts, missing Kurt or being on drugs? That’s fucking disrespectful to say that was „fake”.

Now a lot of people say she sucked after Celebrity Skin, but the truth is Celebrity Skin was probably her most real album/era soundwise. And I don’t even like this album that much. It was inspired by new wave/more poppy rock bands she loved and Courtney was actually satisfied with how it sounds. It was just a good time to her – she quit drugs, she had a successful album and tour, she was nominated for Golden Globe in 1996, she looked genuinely happy and glowing. People were mad cause she changed style – i think she changed style because of her acting career, to continue acting she probably wanted more polished look. But was it always that polished? She would hang out her tits onstage or dress as that „trash fairy” in 1999, so I’d say this glittery look was also partly ironic. And people saying she’s fake cause she chose acting career seem to forget she originally wanted to be an actress, she played in Sid and Nancy & Straight To Hell in 80’s.

People who say „oh she’s a fame whore” – well it’s not like she was ever hiding she likes/she always wanted fame. She wrote she likes fame because it’s challenging, because she gets off on it, etc.

I have mixed feelings about her designer clothes and red carpet looks and at times it seems fake to me too, cause red carpet is usually fake and embarrassing. It’s quite a contrast to her older punk & kinderwhore style. But people change with age anyway… Brody Dalle doesn’t look especially punk anymore, Kat Bjelland doesn’t wear dolly clothes. Emilie Autumn looks like a fucking christian grandma, sorry. Courtney Love likes designer clothes. *shrug*

However Courtney Love’s character and behaviour is consistent throughout the years, she talks the same as always. She doesn’t craft a new personality every few years like EA and she doesn;t erase her past like EA. She doesn’t milk her fans making overpriced shitty merch. It’s true it’s been a lot of years since she last released a CD, but she’s been releasing singles and touring A LOT during this decade, also engaging in fashion design and art. Emilie Autumn sits at home and makes stupid faces at her iPhone, produces more merch and doesn’t make/post music/play violin anymore.

The only thing I don’t like about her is how she can’t play guitar anymore. She used to know how to play guitar, you can watch any 1990-1995 show to see she knew how to play guitar. In CS era she would sing without guitar more, but she still could play. But after 2010 her abilities decreased a lot, someone leaked a sound of her live guitar and it turned out her playing became really… weak. She said after her cocaine use she lost ability to play and didn’t even know how to move her fingers, that she was learning playing all over again in rehab. Idk if something happened to her hands or if she’s just too lazy these days. It would improve if she just practiced everyday. Of course if you don’t practice you’ll get worse – i know it well cause i had a few years without playing guitar too. But it’s not like it’s impossible to improve. Other than that… yeah, i’m not really crazy about her designer clothes and event looks. I don’t like things like that. But she likes it, so why shouldn’t she go with that.

Courtney can be nice, can be mean, but she never flipped shit the same as Emilie Autumn. She likes fame but she knows where she fucks up while Emilie most of the time thinks she’s more famous than she is and is so full of herself. Courtney Love knows she’s not the greatest guitarist and singer, while Emilie thinks of herself as „virtuoso” and shades every other violinist in rock music (and violists), while in fact she is the epitome of „failed violinist”. She played music for easily impressionable fans who knew nothing about classical music, so it was easy for her to impress them with her fake violin playing with violin playback coming straight from the tape. It takes to be a high level of being a snowflake to claim you’re a virtuoso when in reality you never play live and if you do you play only scales, making beginner mistakes and being mediocre at most.  

Emilie Autumn always presented everything about herself to be true and personal, people believed her and literally praised her for that, feeling connection with her because they had bipolar disorder or stayed at psychiatric hospital, or lost family in a fire for real… And then it turned out all of Emilie Autumn’s life was a lie. She was hiding a real bitch under the guise of this cool „virtuoso” goth bipolar girl Emilie Autumn. Every year brought some new drama, she was less and less credible. She behaved awfully and treated her fandom like  shit repeatedly. I don’t know, i got interested in her at some point but i can’t stand her now & i don’t keep up with her stuff anymore (although i read on her latest blm drama), why bother yourself with someone who doesn’t respect anyone. You can dislike Courtney Love and i understand it, but I don’t see how she could be comparable to EA’s shit.

As for „idealized identities”… you realize that Courtney was on drugs most of her career? She would fuck up so much, getting ridiculed by the press and regular people. She would often embarrass herself unintentionally, she would often end up all smeared and tousled in a way that wasn’t planned as a „kinderwhore look for the evening”. Getting fat, getting horribly thin, sometimes looking nice but often looking what society perceives as ugly. People hated her and they still do. Her life was a mess at various points of her life and she was judged harshly… if that idealized version to you? People might preffer her kinderwhore days but when i look at it now, she had better days but some certain looks from early 90’s sometimes only highlighted how bad she felt at the time. Her most „ideal” version was 1996 and Celebrity Skin look, up to 2000 i’d say, she would wear nice clothes, brush her hair, add glitter, looking glam – as i said, she quit drugs in 1996 to be able to play in movies, i believe she wanted her life to change for the better, to try to be happier, to look nicer and cleaner and to set an example for her daughter. I think it’s awesome that she manager to get better, i wish i could change my life. Unfortunately in 2003 she went downhill again, this time it was in some days even worse cause she got into cocaine and something else, her album was a flop (interestingly, there was another, rockier version of American’s Sweetheart but Virgin Records told her to rerecord everything and put out worse songs), she would end up in court, she would lose the custody of Frances and had to go through drug tests and rehabs. She had ED i think, she gained a lot of weight at the time then went to stick thin. It was dragging on and you know how it went later, she was better and worse moments, still doing prescription drugs on and off, flopping with new version of Hole. I haven’t checked what she’s doing these days and kind of lost track but i think she’s so much better now and successful, she’s got fans wanting to see her live, she reunited with Hole members and she released a few solo singles that were actually fucking awesome (Courtney don’t be shy, make a new album, you actually write good songs recently). „Idealized identities”, well she’s as idealized as Amy Winehouse, lol.  

Courtney is human and makes mistakes all the time, but she doesn’t get offended when someone points them out and acknowledges her mistakes. Emilie Autumn thinks she does nothin wrong, she’s always right and if you don’t like it, fuck you, get outta her house, fucking patronizing fucking. Idk why should i explain it any longer, it’s obvious.

[ofcdove]

                                      𝒾𝓃𝓉𝓇𝑜𝒹𝓊𝒸𝒾𝓃𝑔… 𝕕𝕠𝕧𝕖 𝕕𝕒𝕣𝕝𝕚𝕟𝕘 

          normani. cis-female. she/her.  ／  dove darling just pulled up blasting pressing me by rico nasty — that song is so them ! you know, for a twenty three year old actress/musician, i’ve heard they’re really stubborn, but that they make up for it by being so vivacious . if i had to choose three things to describe them, i’d probably say early 2000s r&b playlists, princess cut diamonds, and shiny lipgloss over perfectly lined lips . here’s to hoping they don’t cause too much trouble ! 

           sup it’s raq and im a failure at  life.  this  is  dove  she’s  my  new  boo  I  hope  y’all  stan  her  like  i do i’ll be poppin into yo dms for plots but like, pls don’t hate me if im slow cause im just... slow skjaf also if you don’t have a plot with my other muse noel  here’s a link to his info and we can discuss both while we’re at it ! thank u for dealing with me 

                                [ 𝕓𝕒𝕤𝕚𝕔𝕤 ― ❝ THAT NATURAL BEAUTY ,  BEAUTY ❞  ]

full  name:  dove  dahlia  darling     

age:  twenty-three years old

date  of  birth:  august  8th

star  sign:  leo

nicknames:  dee,  birdie,  mostly  goes  by  darling  as  a  stage  name 

place  of  birth:   calabasas  ,  california  

currently  living  in:  los angeles , california

voiceclaim:  normani  /  doja  cat 

sexual orientation:  pansexual

TL;DR :   lowkey,  as  soft  as  her  name  implies.  such  an   angel ..... if  you  don’t  know  her  all  that  well. lives  for  her  squeaky  clean  perception  and  would  never  tarnish  that.  to  the  media ,  she’s   quirky,  saccharine,  and  really  down  to earth.  a  sweet  face  with  a  love  of  music.  not  that’s  all  untrue  but -- she  has  a  tendency  to  flake  if  you  aren’t  perfect  her  image.  basically  queen  of  pr  relationships  eye... skgaj  her  career  is   priority  over  most  things.  a  girl  with  big  dreams  from  a  veryy  young  age  who  had  a  little  luck  (  a  lot  of  luck  lowkey )  an  alot  of  work  to  get  where  she  is.  (  she’s...  a  piece  of  work. ) 

                         [ 𝕓𝕒𝕔𝕜𝕘𝕣𝕠𝕦𝕟𝕕  ― ❝ WHAT A TIME TO BE ALIVE  ❞ ]  

 folks *claps* lets get started. you’re gonna see alot of  name alliteration just.. deal with it  i like it 

born  august  8th  to  desdemona  and  d’andre  darling ,  dove  darling  is  the  youngest  of  all  four   the  darling .  desdemona  and  d’andre   are  some  of  hollywood’s  favorite  socialites -- both  of  them  coming  from  blue  blooded  hilton-esque /  kardashian   families.  everyone  knows  they’re  wealthy  but  like  why? idk  either  it’s  just  some  good  old  money  that  allowed  the  darlings  to  pursue  things  like  activism,  modeling,  and   writing in  more  recent  generations.  needless  to  say,  dove  twas  thriving  as  a  child.  pretty  spoiled.  really  wouldn’t  ever  need  to  work  a  day  in  her  life  if  she  didn’t  want  to . 

she  went  to  the  best  private  schools  in  calabasas   and  spent  the  majority  of  her  childhood  playing  dress up  in  her  mother’s  expensive  clothing  and  jewelry  collections.  

though ,  at  the  age  of  7  she  hung  around  her  grandmother  more  frequently.    more  colloquially  known  as  just  dallas  --  dallas  darling  was  a  famous  singer  in  the late  70s  to  early  80s.  diana  ross vibes .  with  spending  more  time  with  dallas,  dove  grew  to  love  singing  and  (  probably  more  than  anything  )  preforming. 

it  was  from  the  age  of  8  on  that  dove  wanted  to  be  a  big  time  singer   just  like  her  grandmother  when  she  got  older. 

and  boy ,  did  this  girl  dedicate  her  life  to  this  dream.  her  parents  put  her  in  singing  lessons  and  she ‘d  put  on  little  shows  for  everyone  in  her  family -- perfecting  her  act. 

by  13  she  would  be  signed  to  her  first  record  label . 

didn’t  go  well....  really  the  label  was  as  alot  of  music  labels  are  to  child  stars -- terrible.  she’s  had  a  handful  of  really  bad  experiences  that  she  thought  she could  fight  through  if  it  meant  getting  her  dreams.   just  wanted  to  push  her  as  “the  new  dallas”  and  (  while  she  looks  up  to  her  grandmother )  dove  wanted  to  be  her  own. so  she  never  released  anything,  they  ended  up  dropping  her  within  a  few  weeks. still  persistent  dove  started  uploading  onto  youtube  some  covers  and  a  handful  of  original  songs . never  went  to  college,  literally  spent  her  late  teens  just  in  her  childhood  bedroom  (  which,  idk  is  probably  the  size  of  an  average  apartment  on  it’s  own  side  of  the  house cause  hc  she  probably  had a  long - term  partner  during  this  time  so  wc)  trying  to  make  something  that  people  would  like . 

moo being  the one  that  blew  up  years  later  and  became  a  meme  finally  skyrocketting  her  out  of  her  grandmother’s  shadow. 

at  the  moment  she has  released  2  lps  which  i’ll get  around  to  releasing  but  bigger  hits  include  motivation,  moo,  go  to  town ,  and  tia  tamara .  

        [ 𝕡𝕖𝕣𝕤𝕠𝕟𝕒𝕝𝕚𝕥𝕪 ― ❝   A LONG TIME SINCE YOU FELL IN LOVE  ❞ ]  

 ugh,  a  diva.  period. 

but  possibly  in  the  best  way?  i  wouldn’t  say  she’s  a  throw  a  tantrum  for  not  getting  her  way  kind  of  girl  ,  cause  she’ll  just  go  get  it  herself.  a  go  getter. 

will  drop  you  (  with  or  without  reason  or  warning ) and  pretend  you  don’t  exist  for  the  rest  of  her  life.  she’s  just  got  a  tendency  to  stop  caring  about  people  if  she  feels  unimportant  to  them.   

as  down  to  earth  as  a  rich  girl  from  calabasas  can  be. sgkjad 

but  she  loves  a  good  meme, she’s  got  a  good  sense  of  humor  tbh 

a  leo  .  just... periodt. 

definitely  the  girl  to  buy  all  of  her  friends  way  too  expensive  gifts  because  she has........ no  concept  of  why  people  save  money eye skfgjdsa

still  working  out  the  nooks  and  crannies  but  that’s  a  general ........  vibe. 

           [ 𝕨𝕒𝕟𝕥𝕖𝕕 𝕔𝕠𝕟𝕟𝕖𝕔𝕥𝕚𝕠𝕟𝕤 ― ❝ LET ME BE YOUR MOTIVATION ❞ ]

alright  exes?  good  time.  best  friends  are  great  i’d  lowkey  love  to  see  a  healthy  lil  squad  she’s  apart  of .  friends  ppl  ship  her  with  and  she  just... lets  it  happen  bc  clout .  collaborators.  exes  she  broke  up  with  because  of  their  public  perception. siblings  if  y’all  feeling  like  bringing  an  aj  saudin or  something.  would  love  to  see another  darling.  uhh  crushes?  first  loves ?  anything  my  guys. 

[migleefulmoments]

how entertainment media works

People Magazine exists to make money. Period. They make money by selling ads. In the print magazine that means literal print ads. They sell subscriptions because each subscription is a guarantee to their advertisers that X number of people will see their ad. The more people subscribed -the more money they can charge. With the website, the ads are clickable links but even if you don’t click the ad, they want to keep you clicking on People stories as long as possible because you see more ads.

 Ok, so now we know what motivates them when they are writing stories-MONEY. They need to produce content to make money and they need to produce content that people are interested in aka the hottest stars and hottest shows, stars and their families, the most screwed up stars and reality stars, murder, death, and feel good stories compromise People’s formula. 

Hollywood is a no-brainer for them to cover because Patti LuPone, Ryan Murphy, Jeremy Jordan, Darren Criss, Rob Reiner, and lots of beautiful people. So they do a cute story with Darren. The world is in quarantine so shows aren’t being made and nobody is walking red carpets or attending galas and celebs are staying home. They can’t do photoshoots and they aren’t hearing about big breakups because people aren’t out and about. They have very little to cover right now and everyone is looking for feel good stories. Darren’s first anniversary just passed, everything Darren has said publicly since his wedding has been about how happy he is being married and how much he loved the wedding. IDK whether it came up in the conversation or Darren was asked about his marriage, but they got some good quotes that make a great happy story and they got another page of content during the Covid shutdown. Most fans love seeing stories about celeb’s personal lives (even if their significant other has “No claim to fame”)  so the story will be popular which all together make the story a no-brainer.

The clickable links to old stories are to keep you clicking. The more Darren stories they can put in front of your eyes the longer they may keep you on People’s website looking at those ads. 

Darren’s team isn’t planting the Mia stories and the old recommended stories- anyone suggesting that sounds like a complete loon- in fact, they sound like the “‘Merica Freedom” people protesting the lockdown by congregating at the state Capitol- INSANE. The crisscolfer storyline is not backed up by any credible evidence- not one shred of evidence just like the protesters who scream “This is a hoax” or better yet “the Democrats did this”. If you are going to stand up and be an asshole over something you now nothing about, at least try to sound educated. Understand of what you speak instead of making it up in your head to be whatever it is you need it to be. ”It will miraculously go away” “I hear that bleach kills the virus, are we looking into that as a treatment? You can look into that?” Just like Donald, your sycophants will never tell you how crazy you sound but you both sound like fools. 

BTW- Darren and Chris are Also listed as “audience members” on IMBD for Dancing with the Stars so please let that go.  

Anonymous asked: Well she hijacked his H/wood press. His dad’s death. And got her fake wedding published in a major magazine along with an article about her fake life. Life goal achieved. Can he be free now? It boggles the brain that his team was able to get an absolute nobody so much attention and steal his moment. Again. I challenge her fans to ask themselves why this was published. She’s a nobody and not interesting. I was feeling so positive about his press. And then his team attacked.

Cassie Nonnie, it disgusts me on SO many levels. But hey, she got what she ultimately wanted. The same magazine as LM, only 14 months too late. Even if those articles were scheduled to print, when his dad passed, they should have been postponed. Instead, one was literally linked to the article that said he was mourning the loss of his father. Why the hell did they think anyone wanted to read about a person that has no claim to fame outside being a beard for a celebrity?

The article about her fabulous made up career is just sad. How is anyone supposed to take you seriously when you quit every job you’ve ever had handed to you, or they simply take it from you because you suck so much at it? Or when you have an IMBD page that lists you as an audience member for a reality dance competition show? Her whole existence is a bad joke. Which would be fine, if she was even a halfway decent person. She’s not. She’s like a negative postal worker. Nothing stops them, not snow, not wind, nor sleet, nor hail, nor a deadly virus. In her case, nothing stops her narcissism, not a fake resume, not a “husband” that refuses to willingly touch her, or makes his feelings of disgust clear, not a “mother in law” that expresses a desire to attend an awards show with her famous son, not even the death of her “father in law.” Her complete lack of compassion is incomprehensible. Even most of her paid friends posted messages of love and respect for his dad. What did she do? Made sure, once again, that it’s all about HER. She couldn’t have HER red carpet moments to be an utter embarrassment for HW, so she settled for pap walks and making his father dying about her and her awful party, finding a way to make herself the victim that sacrificed everything to stand by D’s side when he was chasing his dream and ignoring her, oh, and as an added bonus, they changed the fucking timeline AGAIN.

Was this harsh? Yes. Do I give a fuck? No. It’s inconceivable to me that you could take one of the worst things to happen to someone and make it about you.

chrisdarebashfulsmiles If a pandemic is not enough to make us think we are in a very absurd time, we have p/eople, in the most wrong time publishing articles ( work ethic for the love of God...it's possible to postpone something if the time is wrong) that instead of talking about works, makes the wedding like a life goal more important than everything else. I saw a scanned page, I refuse to give a visit to them.

I would like to say to team shit that this is the wrong way to work on the reputation of a client. Because, D is your client, not the wife.

Technically speaking, about her they are doing good, if we put aside the timeline. We are the problem, because we care only about him.

Source: chrisdarebashfulsmiles

Anonymous asked: But honestly it's been a year! A YEAR! How many more times are they gona mention he's married.. they even went back to the en/cagement thays was two years ago! This is the entertainment news .. this sorta news becomes old within a month.. I would this is ridiculous but it's been ridiculous for some time now

Cassie: Nonnie, technically, it’s been a little more than 14 months, and as it’s the only thing she has right now, that’s why we’re seeing this push. She wanted her pictures in that particular magazine and she finally made it happen. Congratulations PBB, you win the most pathetic existence award.

Anonymous asked: I find it appalling that some news articles acknowledging the passing of Bill Criss, a respected family man, devote so much space to promote the marriage and career of his daughter in law. A shameful grab for publicity at such a sad time

Cassie: Nonnie, it’s deplorable. Anything written right now should be about his new project dropping tomorrow or a condolence piece about his dad, who accomplished so much and no one has a single thing to say about the man that isn’t a glowing endorsement of how wonderful he was. Yet we get article after article, no doubt approved and encouraged by his shit team, about a lazy nobody with a work ethic that can only be measured in negative numbers. This is not the time. 

[sixohsixoheightfourtwo]

who likes comPLETEly wild 1940s technicolor noir films?? is that you?? Please in that case watch DESERT FURY, a totally bonkers 1947 melodrama set somewhere in nevada. The Nitrate Diva posted about it on twitter, saying it “must be seen to be believed” and I simply Cannot turn down such a recommendation.

in Desert Fury: the world’s oldest 19 yr old student Paula (Lizabeth Scott, who’s sort of lauren bacall-like) comes home to the desert town of ‘chuckawalla’ where her mother Fritzi (Mary Astor) runs casinos (and i think also brothels??). Meanwhile racketeer EDDIE BENDIX (budget clark gable john hodiak) and his ‘pal’ johnny (wendell corey) blow into town .... and Paula, for some reason, Falls In Luv or something with him. It’s based on a story by Ramona Stewart written for the glossy womens’ magazines when she was still in college. so you KNOW it’s gonna be OTT idfic.

On a formal level the actual best things about this are probably the Cinnamon Tography — glorious technicolor etc, actual location shooting in arizona, luridly bright — and the miklos rozsa score. Also Edith Head’s costumes: Lizabeth Scott gets approximately 9000 high-glam outfit changes; the film is clearly designed as a star vehicle for her.

on an INFORMAL level.... it is an amazingly weird ride.  Eddie turns out to be an old boyfriend of her mother Fritzi. Fritzi’s treatment of her daughter veers towards queasily pseudo-incestuous — calling Paula ‘baby’ all the time (UGH!), insisting Paula calls her by her first name, because ‘mother’ is ‘cold’ and not ‘companionable’. Burt Lancaster is ... also here, hating every second he’s in this film as Paula’s dumbass rodeo-champ-turned-cop love interest. (this was literally the second film he shot, he apparently thought it was total crap but had to do it as he was under contract. his best scenes tbh are with Mary Astor)  

Oh and Paula mysteriously resembles Eddie’s DEAD WIFE .... which is why he’s interested in her. And his wife died under Suspicious Circumstances. And people keep slapping each other in the face.

But also — eddie bendix and his pal johnny ryan .... are Gay. OK no, eddie is bisexual. Any time they’re in a scene together they’re framed together, presented as a duo. sometimes they are shirtless drinking tea together. they have lived and worked together for years and years. How did they meet? according to eddie.... johnny picked him up at 2am in times square: 

It was in the automat off Times Square about two o’clock in the morning on a Saturday. I was broke. He had a couple of dollars. We got to talking. He ended up paying for my ham and eggs… I went home with him that night… We were together from then on.

hello? hello??

ok so there’s a line about how there was a spare room at his mother’s boardinghouse or w/ever but it feels v much thrown in to appease censors. 

Paula and Eddie start their affair and there are some great scenes where johnny is initially apparently NOT threatened by eddie having a girlfriend... and then realises what’s up and tries to separate them. the tone is v much — I’m really just paraphrasing his dialogue here — johnny’s been with him for 15 years, he’s outlasted other women, women don’t want to know the Real Eddie, unlike johnny. johnny keeps calling eddie ‘good-looking’. It’s the 1940s and J and E are the Bad Guys ... so no spoilers but it doesn’t end well for them, altho Johnny is the most sympathetic character in this film and you can fight me about it. But for about 75 minutes you get so caught up in trying to figure out how this film has a functional gay couple that you forget the Hays Code exists.

There’s a clip on youtube of Eddie Muller (a critic who specialises in noir) introducing a screening of Desert Fury — he calls it “the gayest movie I have ever seen coming out of Hollywood in the 1940s . . . the relationship between John Hodiak and Wendell Corey in this film is sort of not to be believed”. He also has them at #2 on his list of “Film Noir’s Top 10 (Maybe) Gay Couples” (first is John Dall and Farley Granger in Rope — and they really WERE gay).

anyway there u have it. quarantimes film rec: DESERT FURY, 1947. I watched it on a second-hand spanish-language DVD because there’s no UK release. It's on dvd/bluray in the US. u can probably also find it thru... other channels idk I didn’t look

[butididnottried]

“The Rise od Skywalker” spoilers.

So, i saw it. I was on a whole night marathon and saw all three movies one after another. I actually like “The Last Jedi”. Like, i really like it. I know all issues and problems that people have with this one, i understand it, and it’s still Very Good to me and there will be some comparisons. Also, i’m not sure if this is important, but SW is not a part of my childhood and i have no nostalgic feelings toward those movies. Hi there, i’m an average fan?

So.

Tbh i expected a pile of thrash on fire after what i read about this movie, because people are only complaining, without really recalling anything good (but i also avoided big and long and detailed reviews to avoid as much information as i can xD). And there are good thing in it, and i had surprisingly a whole amount of fun while watching it. But still, at the end, overall this whole movie can be summarize into CONFUSED WHAT.

Good stuff:

- J. J. Abrams know how to invoke a fell and spirit of grand adventure. At the beginning this move has a crazy amount of it, until Rey split from Finn and Poe. They just need to go after this mcguffin dagger to find another mcguffin, they need to go to this palce to find that or someone, they need to go somewhere else and there are problems but there’s a solution, but they need to go to third place to again find someone. I would be kinda annoying if we wouldn’t have all three of them together - Rey, Finn and Poe. Finally! I really like them all being together, being friends, bantering, being dumbasses and smartasses and me gusta very much those dorks.

- They do not conform that, but let’s face it - Finn and Poe are married. There’s no heterosexual explanation for their relationship in this movie. I’m aware that in script they weren’t particularly wrote like that, and maybe it’s because actors were playing their character in this way, but there’s another explanation. A few months ago in review of “X-Men: The Dark Phoenix” i read that Hollywood just don’t know how to wrote real male friendship, full of emotions, and they end up using romance tropes and cliches. And Finn and Poe are perfect example to uphold that theory. Like, really, look at them, they’re bantering like an old couple.

- I really like Reys path in this movie. Seeing all three movies together shows how much she grow with every next installment. In TFA she is nice and joyful character, but kinda basic; in TLJ she learn more about how world works, about herself and choose her own path. And now in TROS she is very conflicted, torn apart and sacred of her own powers, while trying to stay herself. And Daisy Ridley really hit the spot with her performance.

- Leia had an lightsaber? And was training with Luke? And now she was teaching Rey? Like... FUCK YEAH?! And also Finn? Force sensitive? YEAH BABY!

- Rey and Kylo fight on ruins of Death Star surrounded with raging ocean and those exquisitely animated giant and heavy waves. So good? SO GOOD.

- Palpatine went full Thor and every cell in my body was hollering with laughter. As soon as it’s possible someone need to edit this “unlimited power!” yell to this scene. Please.

- ahahahahaha, Hux, you magnificent, pathetic, petty asshole, ahahahahaha.

- this is not about movies, but there was a fake fanboy at my screening. Between TLJ and TROS this dude behind me was explaining sequels to his friend and i was typing a message to my friend, so the only thing that i heard was “the first movie did Abrams, you know, the one that made LOTR, and the second one did Johnson , and he is ooold.” I have no idea what to do and think about this.

- new ways of using force. Hell yeah. Force the shit out of this. Stronger force skype? Totally. Teleportation things on purpose through force? Absolutely. Being almost in two places at once through force. I’m totally here for that. Rey being probably the most competent person in force? Kick their asses baby, i’m holding yo flower!

- MERRY!!!???

??? stuff:

- apparently reylo is incest, because Rey and Kylo are related. Really? How? Is there in any movie any, even smallest, hint that Skywalkers and Palpatines are blood related? I have no idea.

- The way how droid are treated in those movies is troubling. Are they alive? Are they self-conscious? Or they’re an artificial intelligence so developed that they can with no problems fake that?

- sooo... Kylo. I love this problematic asshole. Well, in case of genocidal murdered word “problematic” is very mild, but whatever. What i read about this movie, people were raging because woman (Rey) exist only to heal a man (Kylo) that was abusing her, but i don’t see that this way. Like, not at all. And how i see how Rey and Kylo plot is developing makes it hysterical, especially after TLJ where Kylo was established as main villain. Because in this movie with every scene Kylo exist more and more as support to Rey story, he’s an walking exposition for Rey and motivation for her to doing things. He was less and less his own character, and was more and more existed for Rey. Like, he totally could be put in the fridge. xD When Rey stabbed him i thought “oh, so they’re killing him now? When were not even close to the end? Well, ok, i do not see a more purpose for him in this plot, so yeah, kill him” but then Rey saved him and i was like ??? because what more you want him to do? And then he disappears for a big chunk of time and show again at the end and he even wasn’t needed here and don’t do that much? Just... lol. Ok, he did That, because it’s “Star Wars” and SW just Works. Like. That. or it’s not Real and True “Star Wars” boo-frikin-hoo. But on that later.

- as a example for Kylo being a lesser character and more of a tool for the sake of the plot is fact, that in TROS Darth Tantrum is weirdly collected and put his shit together. At the beginning when he finds Palpatines lair and learns that this dude was behind all of this, behind forming First Order and all voices in his head, Kylo should lost his marbles and just murdered Palpatine. But even if somehow not, at the news that Rey is emperor granddaughter he absolutely should throw the biggest tantrum in all history of tantrums and not only obliterated Palpatine but also this whole place. But no, he made A Plan and decide to once again to “propose” to Rey. Like she didn’t rejected him definitely in previous movie and like they both not decided that when they meet next time, only one of them are going to survive. But hey, let’s go with this “i want you by my side to rule the galaxy” plot again. :/

- and there they go with that helmet again. In TLJ scene where Kylo destroys his helmet it’s a very powerful moment. Not only for him, but for direction with which the story would go. Because he is not Darth Vader. Because we do not need another Darth Vader. Buuut, on the other side i can let this a pass, because since he agreed to join Palpatine and once again is going to lead The Knights, he needed to wear this helmet again to prove this loyalty and make them trust him. So, hard pass on that. And tbh, that ugly mask looks a lot better with those bright red cracks.

- And also Leia, that was also there only for her son, because as a mother she can’t be anyone else. Aaand... idk about that. Leia force connected to Kylo so he could turn back to the light? She sacrificed herself for him? Eeeeh... it was weird scene. And there’s no clear explanation why? Only Kaz Manata said that this will use Leias all life force that she has? Did i missed something? Did movie forgot about something? For me it looked like Leia was distracting Kylo, because it look like Rey was going to loose this fight, she was more and more angry, and in this moment she would fully go on the dark side. So Leia saved Rey, she felt Reys struggle. At least i it’s how i interpreted this scene, because it’s one of the most baffling one. Just ???

- there’s whole sith culture. Just. There is. But if there’s only two of them at most at a time, they probably exist for far longer to develop all of this, and to build all of this, and to be cooperative with each other? Which is not their strongest trait? And all these people in emperor throne room were past siths force ghosts or real people?

- apparently being a sith and making lightning came out of your palms is genetic? At least i understand that like this. Because the reason why Rey shot lightning while trying to rescue Chewie was not because she was angry and mad and doubting, but because shes Palpatine? What?

- this is a very minor thing, but when Rey enters Death Stars ruins there’s stormtroopers armors lying almost everywhere, but there’s not even a one bone?

- oh wow, a planet get blow up with even more miniaturized death star ray. And they have hundreds of these. And hundreds of destroyers. And no one notices there was whole space army built. How? I can understand that they ignored the space nazis rising again because, well, just look what is happening in real life, but using money and resources at this scale is however something else, very expensive and i can’t believe no one noticed this.  

Bad stuff:

- Rey is Palpatine. What. I mean... what? It’s just... uuugh... Why are you making me thinking about Emperor having sex? I only hope that was some crazy nazi fangirl that totally wanted to fuck him. Or maybe it was artificial insemination? Well, doesn't matter, it’s BIG EEEW in every option. And i don’t want to think about other way. :/ At least it makes sense why Emperor procreate? In other stories al these evil dudes that want to live forever and rule everything are having children just... because they have children. For drama or something, because story needs someone to betray this evil dude, or some other eye-rolling stereotypical reason. Like, having offspring especially to posses their bodies and live forever in this way is not very original, but it’s something.

- TLJ was like “you can be from nowhere, you can be from the bottom of society, you cen be the poor and miserable, without family or amazing heritage, and you can still do amazing things, you can climb up and make a difference, you can be better and better, you can make your own story despite your awful background” and TROS be like “fuck that, viva la royalty, you need a powerful heritage, you need a powerful and important bloodline or you’re nothing”. Oh, how nice is that. :/

- that opening crawl. It’s bad. Just bad. Even worse than “The Phanom Menace” babbling about economy.

- PALPATINE IS NO FUN AT ALL!!! HOW DARE YOU NOT MAKING IAN MCDIARMIND NOT ENJOYABLE AT ALL???!!! SHAME ON YOU ABRAMS!!! SHAME ON ALL OF DISNEY!!! ...well, ok, this was this one small thing, BUT STILL!!! AUGHR!!! I’m so mad about this. I was expecting not a very good movie, but at least i was hopeful that emperor would be such a treat.

- pulling emperor out of nowhere was an mistake. They should stay with what TLJ established and made Kylo main villain. No redemption, no bullshit like “there’s still light in him”, no Ben Solo, no forgiveness, no nothing. Just Rey beating the shit out of him and killing him. End of story. But no, “Star Wars” can’t be like that, it’s not how this world works, THIS IS NOT REAL “STAR WARS” WAAH WAAAH WAAAH. You’re a genocidal murdered? A space nazi? You’re ruling a regime that is weltered in blood of the innocence? Doesn't matter, there’s always hope. Just do one small, good thing and you will be at peace. Fuck off with that. At the end of TLJ when Kylo entered that mine, and rebel survivors entered deck of Falcon, and Rey and him were still force connected, and she cutted off him because she understands that there are things that can’t be forgave, and there are people that do not want help and just don’t want to be better and fuck “Steven Universe Future” did that a lot better on eleven minutes, and SW series is struggling with this since beginning. Because there’s white and black, good and evil, and there’s nothing in between, and when someone comes from one side to another they become a completely different person because yes that how it works. And people are totally here for this because it’s for kids and it needs to be simple and we can’t let this story grow beyond that stupid absolute duality. I know that there are people that were on far right but they changed and become better and good for them, but if you want to do that in your story, show the struggle of this difficult path and let this scum survive and face the consequences. Take at least a minimum of responsibility of what you’re showing to kids. :/ But nooo, he was stabbed, his mom died, his dad showed up and said... something, and now Kylo is dead, and Ben alive again. Sarcastic yay. Also, if you’re repeating dialogue from first movie, in almost this same situation, but in a different context, EARN IT. Second also, that kiss. Eeeeh... If you really need to be Like That and made some weird understanding between them, maybe just make they touch their foreheads? And oooh, yes, i almost forgot. At my screening when Kylo flopped at the ground, died and vanished, the whole audience laughed. But it wasn’t a loud, merry laugh, but a nervous and awkward, like “did i just saw this cringy shit?”. Amazing.

- they remembered about Knight of Ren. And did nothing with them. They just were showing up here and there through the whole movie without any purpose. But that’s Johnson fault, that he did not include them in TLJ. No wonder that they did not have time for them in TROS. Just waste.

- the amount of fanservice is killing me. I have nothing against it, if it’s just a nice treat for fans here and there, but when a whole movie is dedicated to it it’s just not very bearable. And plot suffer from it, because instead of write a good story they’re focusing at how to connected these thing from original trilogy.

[crowsvalentine]

weird ask but headcanons for the dregs as disney/child actors?

this is so random I love it

Nina is the Disney actress turned Hollywood movie star

Her career just kept going up and never really had any signs of stopping 

She actually started off in one of those shows meant for adults as one of the main character’s kid and transitioned to Disney after getting chosen for a new show

It’s one of those shows that is always referenced even when viewers are all grown up, which is why Nina Zenik is such a household name that no one wants gone

And she’s such a role model, like it’s no secret that she was told to go on diets and become someone she isn’t and she fought back so kids really look up to her

Matthias is one of those three movies and he’s out kind of child actors 

Like he’s the adorable kid actor from your favourite childhood movie that you occasionally see in other movies from around the same time but you never see him in things anymore

Like you see pictures of him in those “where are they now” articles 

He’s a bit controversial tho because he left acting to join the army

Him and Nina were in a movie together when they were really young and when they start dating it’s this big discovery because literally no one remembered 

Wylan is that child actor who was forced into acting by his parents, or in his case his dad

He absolutely hated it and after a certain point didn’t even hide that he did

He purposely tanked auditions so he wouldn’t get chosen 

He just sorta disappeared at one point, literally no appearances or any press photos or anything for so long 

Until he starts dating Jesper Fahey of course 

Jesper loved acting, wanted to be an actor forever

He begged his dad to take him to auditions and his mom would stay up with him for hours going over his lines

But then his mother dies

And his downfall is a very public event

He’s the center of attention from the time he’s thirteen well into his early twenties 

He can never catch a break

Security footage is leaked of him, photos are taken of him in his own home, really anything that could put him in a bad light is done and sold 

There’s a lot of fan theories about him, some of them even revolving around his relationship with his old costar Kaz Brekker

Kaz was never a disney star, he kinda just showed up out of no where in this big budget hollywood film and kept rising from there

He was in the last movie Jesper did before he left acting, meaning he was there when Jesper found out about his mother falling ill and then passing

Kaz was like that actor all preteens fell in love with and parents were wary of

Because there was something off about him

But he’s everywhere so they can’t really do anything about it

He does a lot of movies with Nina which prompts rumours about them dating but then it’s revealed Nina and Matthias are a thing 

And the rumours also end when a photo is leaked of Kaz and former child actress Inej Ghafa leaving Kaz’s apartment one morning

Inej is the child actress who does all of those weird roles like in Tim Burton movies

But she just loses interest in the whole acting thing once she hits a certain age so she just quit doing it actively 

She makes appearances every now and then when she needs the money, like when she guest starred in Nina’s latest movie as Nina’s best friend 

It’s where she met Kaz because he was hanging around set

The 6 of them become this weird mix like they’ll appear on the red carpet together at award shows and no one really understands how they would be friends

idk where I was gonna end this but I’m gonna stop here. I hope this is what you were asking for!

[nvrissa]

hello laid ease and furries ( u know who u are )......hahaha....are u ready for this ? zimzalabim ! my name is xan ( she/her pronouns ) and my laptop has been broken for a good 3 years now i have to use an onscreen keyboard so if u see me typing for 20000 years on discord only to send u a single sentence u know whats up x JSDBJWBJW here is the intro....im really winging this no one call me out for that WOOO....tw: medication, mental health, body image ? perhaps just to be safe <3

ok ! so im not gonna talk too much abt family stuff bc yuno and i are doing the collab of the century here and art takes time people ! JSBDJBWDJW but so u get a good idea...i will write a little abt it lets get it 

so the kwons were two of the biggest faces in hollywood ( and tbh they are still considered icons / hollywood royalty no matter how old they get they stay #Relevant ) think bradgelina ! literally everyone knows who the kwons if u dont u probably live under a rock /: 

their parents are very into the fame thing...so when it came to their kids ( nari and wolfe ) they SUPER pushed the famous life onto them, really expecting both of them to be just as obsessed and enamored by the public. idk if u guys ever say that vid of gigi and bella hadid before they were huge were their mom was pressuring them both to get into modeling and to stay skinny and to be stars etc....it was kinda like that !

so narissa, being the first born, really just internalized that shit...like imagine being told ever since u were a baby that fame and status and ur last name are wildly important and not being able to remember a time when u werent being watched by cameras / a third party ( the public ) bc that was her life ! nari has....no experience as to what life is like without cameras and without having to create this image of herself that ppl are gonna be into 

obviously that’s NOT normal....and it had it’s toll on her /: as a kid she grew up so fast like u know those kids that seem so mature and wise for their age ? that was nari. she always had two versions of herself: inside nari vs outside nari. she was so good at being good just bc she knew what stuff to express and what stuff to keep inside ( spoiler alert: most of it was kept in x )  

she is still very much desperate to please her parents despite it all /: i feel like for a long time she kinda excepted and agreed that fame is everything ( hence why shes known for using her last name to get her places ) but shes starting to realize just how FUCKED it all is and just how much it’s messed her up so stay tuned for more fun !

ok so career stuff ! nari started off as a child model bc she was um super cute and super good at knowing what to do / not freaking out in front of cameras <3 but she was always obsessed with actors ! she used to sit in front of the tv for hours legit study and memorize ppls mannerisms and various movie lines.. she was literally always just quoting random lines / imitating various actors so often her parents were like ok word go act !    

she landed her first role at 12 and it was a pretty huge role as a lead chara in a mini television series that revolved around a cast of kids ( think stranger things but not plot wise just how some of the mains were kids ) with zero acting experience before hand ... so it was pretty clear to the media nari got the spot bc she was a kwon ! there was a bunch of controversy around the show before it came out but once it was released...there was no denying nari had talent

after that it was just a whirlwind of acting doors opening up for her. everyone wanted nari bc of her last name and all the attention that came from it, not to mention every director wanted to be The One that helped narissa kwon become one of the most famous actresses of the 21st century. most of the time she was getting cast for selfish reasons but nari never realized it /: she was just happy to be acting bc it really was like therapy for her to become different ppl

flash forward to age 15 when narissa was finally diagnosed with generalized anxiety disorder and was prescribed meds to help ! it was actually a director from a movie she was working on that suggested to her parents nari might be struggling after witnessing her have a panic attack on set. not wanting a scandal, her parents agreed it was best to get her “help” which included pills and weekly therapy ! 

so nari actually didnt mind it too much tbh she HAD been struggling for a while she just assumed her anxiety was normal and just like something all famous ppl were dealing with but that wasnt the case. she was hesitant to open up to her therapist just bc she was still obsessed with this idea of inside nari vs outside nari, and she was very scared to cross that line so it took....years of sessions to build up that trust

as she got older though and as she got more famous, everyone just assumed she was better. she was more famous and loved by the day, she had become a chanel ambassador ( thank u jennie x ), her interviews on youtube always brought in record views, she’d started in plenty of movies critics agreed would become cult classics, her social medias were nearing kardashian level in terms of followers: everything was on track....

....except nari had actually never been more unstable. she had become so dependent on her meds she couldnt go anywhere or talk to anyone without popping a few in. all the watching eyes were starting to make her paranoid, not to mention the pressure from her parents ( who couldn’t be happier with nari being so famous ) was at its all time high. she had been nominated for an oscar at 21 and everyone was expecting her to win...and then she didnt

narissa kwon famously fainted at the 2018 oscars after it was announced she had lost the award. her actual fainting wasnt caught on camera or televised, but it WAS witnessed by some of the most relevant names and faces in hollywood who were in that room. the scandal took the media by storm, the hashtag #getwellnarissa trending for over 42 hours until a statement was released she had fainted bc of dehydration and other undisclosed causes and that she was okay & currently taking it easy at home surrounded by family 

in reality it was the abuse of her medication as well as all the stress, but when your last name is kwon manipulating the press is as simple as making the right phone call. unfortunately for nari and her parents, the article about the brat pack came out a week later, and there was no manipulating that source /:

for narissa, it was all a wake up call. she decided to go off her anxiety meds altogether. after falling out with the brat pack she spent that year trying to figure out who she was separate from her fame and her last name. despite some offers from a few casting directors ( surprisingly some people still wanted her despite the scandals bc she was still a kwon, after all ) narissa rejected every role except one in a coming of age indie movie that explores womanhood and mental health as well as strained relationships with mothers. the movie is set to release sometime mid august hehe (~:

she agreed to come to milan to reunite with the brat pack bc she’s still searching for herself ! nari figures the people who quite literally grew up with her might give her some answers......not to mention there is still a part of her who is desperate to reclaim the image and status she had before everything fell apart </3    

PERSONALITY/TIDBITS

narissa is....complicated to say the least. growing up in front of the cameras and in a family who prioritized fame and outside opinions of you as the most important thing, she is quite literally desperate for praise and approval. because she legit has no idea what parts of her are real and what parts of her she’s created for her public persona, she often looks for understanding in others!! shes very very good at analyzing people and understanding people in the hopes that its gonna make her better at analyzing herself, but to no avail. 

libra sun capricorn moon !! THIS is super accurate and telling if u wanna read but i kinda just summarized it in the last bullet

she is such a perfectionist with everything she does and a bit of a control freak in the sense that if she’s not the one doing something, she doesnt have faith whatever that is will be able to live up to her unrealistic standards. directors are often concerted with nari bc whenever she gets big roles.....she is so hard on herself, often asking for take after take bc she monitors every little thing abt her expression or her movements. she’s often left frustrated and disappointed with herself bc again, her standards are SUPER unrealistic ):

she’s relatively sweet!! growing up with the brat pack they probably knew her as the life of the party, very bubbly, confident, and very easy to have fun with as long as you’re being tolerable. however, she can get kind of opinionated at times so it’s very hard for you to gain her trust and respect back if you lose it. she’s also prone to random mood swings / periods of isolation, but whenever she returns its with a big smile and a soft voice assuring you everything is okay 

very good at lying and deceiving ppl but she hardly ever does it on purpose ( unless her publicists asks her too ). she’s carried this persona / public image of herself curated for consumption from others for so long, sometimes she has no idea when she’s being sincere or if she’s just convincing herself she’s being sincere. most of the time she only deceives other people about herself. she can come across as kind of elusive because of this ( think daisy from gatsby’s perspective ) but it’s not on purpose. she just legit has no true sense of self isnt that sexy?

speaking of sex. JWDBJWBDJWBD she also uses that as a coping mechanism / a weird affirmation that yes, she IS wanted by others and yes she IS seen as someone beautiful and that she IS something to be consumed by others ( like i said in my tags....male fantasies male fantasies ) but then at the same time she feels guilty abt this and so unsatisfied and disgusted at how she’s living her life as an object / manifestation of other people’s projections rather than as a normal person...rip </3 its a cycle

ever since her relationship with micah that was so hated by the public it actually ruined and ended their relationship, nari has been too scared to publicly have a relationship again. the media seems to love seeing her on casual dates with other stars, but not to see her tied down to one person, as that kind of “damages” this super accessible persona she’s put out ( think idols and why they cant date )  

she loves poetry, french music, all of marilyn monroe and audrey hepburn’s movies, nonfiction essays abt womanhood and identity, anything chanel, is particularly fond of silk dresses but is partial to velvet as well, wears lacy bralettes under everything bc it makes her a little more confident, actually prefers large parties to small ones because small gatherings are more personal therefore give her more anxiety, would only eat fruit and drink champagne if she could live like that, doesn’t know how to swim so she’s scared of the ocean as well as the dark, used to study ballet as a kid and misses it terribly, doesn’t know how to drive and isn’t planning to learn, can be materialistic at times, is probably an introvert masquerading as an extrovert for 22 years now, the only movies she cant stand are westerns, loves to travel but is scared of flying, doesn’t drink coffee, and is allergic to nuts. 

last but most important fact about narissa is that she loves her brother wolfe more than anything in this world so messing with him is the only way nari is bound to 100% hate you. she can bully him all she wants ( ex. starting very real rumors he IS in fact a furry ) but no one else is aloud to actually be mean to him or she will kill you

also very random but i had a hc that when she was 6 and her pet cat jinx died she caused enough fuss at home her parents actually made it a national holiday in about thirteen different states. the anniversary of this death is december 4th and yes . the brat pack better mourn jinx with nari every year......

pls spare plots im sorry this is so long.....JBDJBWJDBWJBWDJBJ i promise it will be worth it also im sensitive and very small ... how can u say no ? 

[xsocietydropoutx-blog]

Dear TVD

Warning: the following blog might be very unfocused and somewhat confusing, but that's only because I have a lot to say.

It doesn't take much to create a bad show. However, it's pretty difficult to make it good. Creating a good show from the start takes effort, talent, and luck. But you know what is super easy?

Creating a good show, and then ruining it completely.

At first, Elena is the type of girl that could make a gay guy go straight again. Just incredible. And Stefan is the type of person that would make that same man gay again. Damon, however, is the ultimate villain. Killing and tormenting people for no good reason at all.

Then, for no good reason at all, Elena starts to have feelings for Damon. Why?! He literally killed her father (or attempted to), slept with her birth mother, killed her brother, raped Caroline and abused her, tried to kill Bonnie and was responsible for the death of her grandmother, all for Katherine.

For 150 years, he was in love with her, and then all of the sudden he forgets all about her and moves on to Elena? Are you freaking kidding me?! How is that even logical?

Damon is constantly blaming Katherine of the person her became, and each time he does that, I don't know if I should roll my eyes or laugh out loud. She didn't teach him how to kill, and he was just a bad person ever since he decided to ruin Stefan's life after his transition. Plus, take Klaus for example, he was abused as a child, but not once did he blame Mikael of the person he became (only Ester, but rightfully so). Damon had no excuse of his actions, and that pisses me off.

One of my favorite characters in the show were Lexi, and of what we know, she was Stefan's best friend for over a century. And then, Damon killed her. Two episodes later, it was all forgotten. WTF?! But, when Stefan "killed" Enzo (it was a freaking self murder for crying out loud!) Damon never forgot about that, but completely ignored the fact that he left him for dead before.

Plus, Lexi is 360 years old. Remember when she went to help Damon in New York in the 80? She is a lot smarter than they made her in that scene in which she falls for Damon's crap. She would've known better.

I feel like the writers don't even know the character's personality half of the time, and just constantly change it. It's really confusing an frustrating. One minute, everyone is being mature and reasonable, and the next, they go back to kindergarten.

Normally, characters develop for the better, such as: Caroline, Jeremy, Klaus, Tyler and... well, I think that's it.

The characters that were regressed: ELENA, DAMON, BONNIE, MATT, STEFAN (sometimes) and the list goes on and on and on.....

From being the ultimate dream girl, Elena became a freaking doormat. Always obeying to Damon and being his little bitch. That's not love, my friends. That is freaking twisted.

Damon went from being a fifteen year old to being a ten year old. Makes a lot of sense, right? Plus, he is supposed to be the older brother, but not for once in the whole show did it look like that. Could've fooled me with Stefan being the eldest. Plus, in his human life, he was actually kinda nice, what the hell happened to that?! Oh yeah, Katherine. Not.

Stefan was often treated very poorly for making one bad choice. Damon has slept with so many people for so long and killed more than all of the originals combined, but when Stefan slept with Rebekah in season 4 and Katherine in season 5 people treated him like he is Satan.

Damon is the type of man you fall for in the middle of high school, change your whole personality for just to have his attention, and then he leaves you broken. That is a terrible massage to the next generation.

Stefan, however, is the perfect gentleman. Kind, smart, loving, respectful, honoring, and since he's a vampire and this is a television show -  a tormented soul that needs to be fixed. Just like Elena.

And they were beautifully broken together. Their ripped edges fit together, like they were meant to. It was more than perfect. It was EPIC.

But, sadly, other people didn't think like that. They thought that the man who is the bad guy should be the one to get the girl, because she can fix him. Have you watch the film Gone Girl? There was a sentence there that really stuck to me. "He took and took from me until I no longer existed." That is the definition of Delena. He has taken everything from her, her freedom of choice, her emotions, her family, her personality.

"That's murder."

I have also noticed how most of the fans ship Delena only because of Ian and Nina. I have asked one of my friends if she would've still shipped Delena if Paul was the one to play Damon, and she shook her head and said; "Hell no!"

I don't know if it's just me, but I've noticed that after someone dies and becomes a vampire, they become a whole different person. I hate that. You might as well have just taken the character and left it dead. I felt the fact that their emotions are heightened and whatever, but that doesn't change them.

And I don't know if it's just me, but the sire bond between Damon and Elena is based on feelings, and they didn't say what type of feelings. For all we know, they could've been hatred. Which makes a lot more sense.

I have also noticed something that happened in TVD a lot more than it should have. Once it appears as if the character has no where else to develop, it's been killed off. Jenna, Tyler, Kol, Vicky, and the list goes on. Again.

That is how they solved so many issues in the show - love triangles, characters made for one episode alone, stuff like that. And that is so immature and stupid to make a character only to kill it off.

I just have to say this: what Nina did was kind of a bitch move. Leaving the show while you're the lead actress is kinda like a company's CEO decides to quit all of the sudden. I completely understand her decision, but I think it's really something only Hollywood stars can afford to do, and that I like you spit in the fandom's face.

The show is called the vampire diaries - the diary of the vampire - the vampire is Stefan. The show is about him, not his serial killer psychopath of a brother!

By the way, the fact that Nina left doesn't mean that Elena had to go. With all of the traveler stuff, they could've just made Elena go into different body. That would've solved a lot.

A very big part of Delena's relationship is the sex. The reason their relationship even started is sexual attraction. That is a terrible message to send the future generation - have I mentioned that? I think I did. - and if Elena would've been transformed into a different body, that would have been a huge obstacle in Damon and Elena's relationship, and an opening for Stelena.

The doppelganger storyline wasn't as main as I thought it would be. In fact, I'd hoped that during her coma, Elena would have visions of the past couples and that we might get to see a few, and that they would make her understand how special what she had with Stefan truly was.

The more I write here, the more I understand I don't even like Elena anymore. I just want Stefan to be happy and the happiest I have ever seen him was with Elena.

And I just realllllyy wanna see Damon get what he deserves.

To be honest, I didn't watch the 7th and 8th seasons of the show. I promised myself that I would only if I felt like the ending was worth it. Frankly, it wasn't, so I have no intention to sit in front of my laptop and catch up, because there is no reason to. The ending sucked. Stefan was supposed to live happily ever after. If not with Elena, then by himself (Sorry Steroliners, but KLAROLINE IS LIFE) he deserved to live. I had hope that Damon would finally take the responsibility of being the older brother and finally do something for once in his whole wasted life, and help his little brother be happy, but of course not, Stefan must "Sacrifice his own happiness for the sake of other's right?" as he said in the finale of season 4. Too right.

Stelena was love, and respect, cherishing and loving the other person, especially their flaws. It was about concurring all and saving the people you care about, but remain loyal to yourself.

Delena is sex, sex, and some more toxic sex. It's putting yourself first and not caring about the amount of people that you hurt. THAT IS NOT WHAT THE SHOW SHOULD ENCURAGE!

People say that the type of people you like onscreen, especially serial killers, says a lot about your personality. Delena fans, who support this abusive relationship? They are like the watchers in Nerve, pressing on the YES button to kill the soul of an innocent girl. That is what they did to Elena. 

I asked my nephew today about his favorite super heroes, and he said "Spiderman, superman," ect. When I asked him of the joker, he said "NO! I don't like him, he's scary!"

And when I ask my friend - the delena fan mentioned before - she says "The joker is awesome, I love the bad guys."

I don't want him to grow up in a world in which in youth he is taught to help others in shows like Dora and Spiderman, and then become a teenager in a world that likes films with criminals and serial killers. Damon represents just that.

And let's be honest, every single one of the problems in the show would've been solved if Damon died in the first season.

To sum up, the show shouldn't have gone on without the main character. And I don't know if it's because I'm just hopelessly in love with the originals' accent, but I intend to watch the originals (I haven't watched the 3rd season of it as well, because I assumed that they would be linked and that I would get confused.) but I have hope that they writers will redeem themselves in the 4th season and maybe give us all the better ending we deserve.

Thank you for reading, please let me know what you think. I have no friends and I need someone to talk to about this lol.

P.S. is it just me or we still have no idea who stood on the bridge the day Elena and Jeremy's parents died? IDK...

[bonobojosocialcommand-blog]

My name is Raven Gray and I have a story to tell.

Raven is a trickster in the prevailing view of mythology of which I know very little of and profess to know even less in the era of falsified understanding and also, that there is a whole system of thought here that I can only illuminate as the aptitude of my archetype would allow, that of a guide for travelers, as I assume we all are on some level, traveling from one universal guise to the next, some thru the underworld and some in the more bracing and binding spot light of the mainstream that, in this rendition of the world and it’s ways, went thru a time of crisis and a time of change and ultimately a transformation of which this narrative talks of deeper things in the CDN context, ciphered in order to deflect the idea that I can do anything about the current problems I have and so have created this fantasy-scape in order to escape from the bondage of duality and the menace of plurality and the demonized universality that I encounter daily, no I write this as a warning and as a piece of satire and as a filament of revenge and a notation to the Goddess that I seek to serve her and in what regard does Kali require me to be a warrior on the field of battle because underworld guise is a short-form for corruption and so this is not something you can do for very long before you realize, your an outlaw in a broken system.  

Now how did I manage that?

I can’t really say so I will disclose what it was like to be sixteen at a time when context collapsed, noticeably speaking.  

My parents are my guardians and they work for the State in one capacity for another, in the medical system, coming home one day with sorrow in their eyes but saying very little.  I didn’t know what to make of this because I stay home from school, home schooled by a neighbor and only going into town once or a twice a week for supplies and to say hi to people that have ties to the rural economy, whatever that happens to be in this instance.  We are a town on the lake,and big money on the lake too, always been there, more on the American side of things, Hollywood choosing NWO as being the place to coincide with their desire for privacy.  The timber mills have been revived recently but it’s all robots, and the tourism, well, my parents kept me away from it.  They keep me out of sight, really, and it’s been like that for a long time.  I lasted one year in school and my parents pulled me out after that year.  I can’t really say what happened, it was too long ago but whatever the case may be, I had a surprise the next morning when my dad was on the phone, usually emphatic about things, curiously defeated and laconic in his ministration to me after he clicked off from her.

Do what she wants.

I always do, I said.

No, really, he said.  If she says to lick her ass, do it.

I’m sure it won’t be necessary I said but my ears burned and my mom wouldn’t let me out the door.

You look like a disgrace right now.  Go up and change your fucking shirt.  Tighter pants.  And fucking do something about your breath.  Stupid fuck.

I ignored her.  I always do because I can for some reason, something about the way I got here and the way it went at school, I live at home and I educate myself continually on anything and everything available.  I want to be a commando some day and my mom assures me I will, when she’s not bitching at me to take care of my physical appearance.  I took my time and she took it as a signal to show up, unannounced.  She’s not my real mom, I don’t have a real mom that I know about, not in the real sense of being related by virtue of exception; I seem to be exceptional and that is not my doing and not for me to know what’s been chosen for me, and why I should abide by that social selection.  She told me to not wear underwear.

I said what?

You want to be a commando right?

Oh fuck off.

She hit me with the back of her hand.

Off.

Fuck you.

What?  Do you know what could happen if you don’t go over there and it goes well.  Do you know what could happen to us?

No…what…fuck man…stop scaring me…why can’t you say something about this…I told you…

Because there is no fucking way, don’t you get it…we are on the wrong side and you aren’t on any side, don’t you understand…you read A Star Named Henry like we told you right?  Just fucking do it Raven fuck man I don’t have time for this fuckery, I have my own things to do before…

Oh God I thought but it came out of my mouth and I cautiously brought down my jeans and let my guardian pick the outfit for what was supposed to be a yard work gig followed by some kind of tutoring for a friend from Taiwan?

Just make it works she said, pointing at the thing between my legs.  What is that?

What?

That?

It’s your foreskin.

Yes.

Yes.  

Wait…

I can’t believe she did that but walking out the door, I didn’t feel undesirable even if I had to go and clean something, realizing suddenly what will happen if it’s not that way…

And as I try to learn from life, that is a lesson in being good to yourself…

I remember this time very well for what came later.  It was a crisis and people were dying.  I know because I saw them on the road, in the cars, other cars pulled up and they were just looking around and I melted by on my bike and they didn’t see me go by or at least I didn’t think so because I was up above on the roads above the highway, paved and discrete from the gravel interstice of the old mining sector and a necessary risk when going to see Addie Packer and her friend Minnie from Taiwan, a young exchange student who fortuitously, answered the door without looking this way or that, asking me how the weather was.  I was about to say…

And they held up their hands.

It’s the white terror but now it’s gray terror and people are scared about the focus of the surveillance that has taken over the public trust without scaling itself as anything.  I know what happened with Snowden but I don’t trust it in the sense that he depends on Russia for his abiding safety from the USA, maybe it is the USSA at this point…like how does this even work and so I’m not Snowden but I also recognize when people are looking at me and so they are scared, not so much about the cocaine they have hidden in the compost toilet of the cabin way up in the mining zone of Timber Town, and how that works for the people who come from LA and Berlin and Moscow to party in places that are so discrete, you would think there was something in the hillside.  I know from my sojourns there is something to think about here, and this part of the world, NWO, it’s perfect in the central sense of being central, close to the center of the Country and where the State retreated too when Canada fell apart for the last time, and the Resistance scattered, things looking dire here and so Taiwan has a certain interest in placating this particular aberration while it lasts, it’s only been two days without police on the job and we can say light entertainment on television where the death panels aren’t operating and you can’t see anything that you don’t want to, so we have to put up our own show and it was easy to see what it would be now that I’m in the mode.  Waiting in the wings was hard to do in the sense that I always knew I had a purpose, and as a frame of reference, I had to express myself and not betray any hint of the calamity happening off-screen, in non-data world and in the involuntary mixture of finances, crimes and investor confidence such as the terminal liquidity of the dollar ended and the yuan was too toxic to be spent on necessities and so things became social currency in so many ways, hence the brick of cocaine and the handguns.

We spent some time shooting that day.  I had a Mauser 9mm they had Glocks, they had an AK that had a buck to it.  They gave me a .32 to use in case something crazy happened when I went to certain people’s houses as I went to do the yard work and there was no one there.  I came home and my mother started to cry.  I turned around and said, what can I do about this and went waited on the steps of their house until they came home, surprised to see me still there after three hours in the cold, waiting for someone to come by, knowing what was at stake if I didn’t show up.  After that, and what happened, the risk to me, they sent me to Addie and Minnie to get sorted out and get in play of where I need to be when I needed to be there.  My parents had time to hide and so they did.  The team that showed up.  Couldn’t get in.  Couldn’t get it.  They could get me but they didn’t want me like that and so finally the Stressors came home and Mrs. Stressor told me that I looked like I was a wraith and I should wear baggier clothes.  But at the same time, the woodshed needed to be cleaned and so could I please go there and start?

It was a much delayed event.  Once you get sucked into this headspace you realize how macabre it is to think attention is connection, yes it is, but there is something else there too and IDK what it is.  Man cannot live on bread alone and people watching other people don’t have agency like they think because on the outside at the outset, the woman in question had control.  But I was the object of desire and there was some kind of moment of decision that had left normal parlance in the dust and so there weren’t words for how she felt and she just cried and cried and cried and said sorry, I didn’t mean to hurt anyone…

And then we had to lay down and yes, I did lick her asshole…and she paid me to do so and paid me to be around, to keep her company and to talk to people for her such as it was underworld guise to do so.  That was the code for corruption such as Canada became too corrupt, too evil and an extra-judicial State form of tribunal came from abroad and deposed the weak central authority until they ran for parts North of Winnipeg, but really Minaki, that’s where the State ended up.  Why there is always killing involved in power politics, doesn’t have to be but for some reasons, these idiots thought it was fine to take a shot at the State or what’s left of it and greased some innocent people.  No?  What is this then, and who made these friends of my family so unhappy?  I can’t tell for sure because I know nothing of the world outside my home town for not having been there in time, that is I traveled when I was young, to New York, Cape Town, Mumbai and Jerusalem, my real parents disappeared, my guardians are religious folk with ties to evangelicals but also involved in organized crime that I learned about slowly as it was obvious who I was to be if they could outlast the present regime of terrorists.

Now it’s gray terror and it’s all fucked up.  

I was going to leave the Stressor’s but Mr. Stressor told me to stay and we went out on the deck and he started up the BBQ.  I asked him what he thought and he said of what.

Of me giving you a blowjob right now.

Oh IDK about that.

No?

What did you want?

Well…

Oh I see, how about we wait for another day and involve your friend in there…

How do you mean?

Well, I’ll sketch it out for you electronically and get back to you…people need to see something to calm them during this time of uncertainty…I hate gray terror, it’s social extortion, but where is the State?

In hiding, in Minaki.

I’m as much the State of influence at 16 and doing what for this man for others to see as desperation equity, like these people want some kind of fleshly tribute and in that way all I can do is thank Google for the pop-up historicfact, Rome was run by prostitutes in the Tenth Century and the Pope was assassinated in Belgium and that was because the Swiss Guards were absent and ISIS found the pontiff and there was going to be a war, so we had a chance, but only if we got it together and got this cordon up and the State back on it’s feet.  I have to get to Minaki somehow and there are insurgents everywhere, more like irregulars that are not loyal to the Sun State such as narco-democracy is going to outwit this particular calamity in function and in form.  The only problem is, some men like this, don’t like drugs and I have to say to him, I can perform that way if I take this drug and he says, fuck this, I hate dope and what it does to people.  We go for a ride and I try to convince him.  Just let me do what I need to do, your wife did and it was fine.  I’m not letting you do this when I want to do that; I know I said, so what’s the hold up?

There is none he said.  Take off your pants and get the fuck out of the car you little fuck.

And he threw me out, in my home district, on the wavy roads with no way to get back to safety except through the cross fire of endurance and desecration because there are trucks loading and there are convoys racing and I don’t know where I am but in the woods and naked and how did I get here because he took everything off me and I will remember him for being so smug and so delirious at the same time.

I was found but not in the way I thought.  Some hikers got to me that night, hikers with lights, they were berry hunting in the dark and they were not clothed, either.  I couldn’t believe it, and it was Addie’s gofer, given who Addie was in the Party, she had perks and one of them, was a houseperson, and so that one stood in for her and the real article came out to look for me, sans pyjama and with her friend Suzette, a big Native woman that also took off the finery to escort me to safety in some kind of context zone given that physicality had taken over and we are on the knife edge of solidity and solvency and sobriety and context is portable and they hooked me up to a context machine, and it’s only been forty five minutes since I disappeared from the car, a date gone wrong, he thought he was getting his dick sucked but I thought he was going to kill me and so I ended up naked in the back of his car and I ran and now he’s got some explaining to do and his wife is currently telling him fuck off and he shrugs and they are going to have a fight that she can’t win but also she doesn’t need to given what they suggest about me.  Get Him Out of the Woods and into Town and get him working at North Works, NOW, get him out and about, the conquerors are in town and they will get to Minaki if they know where it is, it’s 60 miles separating this and the end of the Earth, get the fuck on your bike and start riding okay, it’s an old suspension model and yes you are wearing clothes but you won’t always be able to, so remember that, just do what you have to do for the conquerors, who are looking alien species anyway and have abdicated share social understanding in favor of purity of mind that is only dedicated to one thing: consumption.

Let them consume you and let them feast on your beautiful body.  You are going to be outside, it’s summer in NWO and there is lots of traffic and this is parallel conceit, you are invisible except for people that need to see you.  Go.  And yes, you can do that before you go, if it gives you courage.

No, it’s like communion.

Explain?

I can’t…it’s the breath of death, captured in a little bit of moisture between your posterior elements…

Whatever keeps you alive my sweetling…

And she kissed my mouth, Addie Packer, fucking Commie and the only reason I’m alive right now.  My guardians?

IDK where they are and I might never see them again.

On the bike, the pressure is insurmountable as long as I remember that I am who?

What?

Where?

Blowing through that push and if it gets tense, clothes are coming off in this gray terror such as I get to the top of the first hill and have an idea, from Addie Packer of course, why not just strip down mostly anyway and live it like that, and dare them to intervene, they want us lower than them anyway, this red faction in a blue town, not that it matters, I’m Gray and Blue and Red have always been fighting and black is always completely in the enforceable dimension of notoriety, Blacksburg Virginia, remember that shit from KillTube?  I have seen Kill Tube and I have isolated from that strata of insanity such as it seems on the way in that there is some kind of unearthly providential experience happening and people just walking right by me in the dark and don’t say anything and I don’t know what they are doing, but I’m naked and it’s funny to think of me riding down the dirt road in NWO, nothing on me but a backpack with provisions and trying to skirt the pressure, and the filaments of danger such as I couldn’t make the turn on the T to go left so I went straight and I went up the big hill, streaking my whole neigbhorhood, this bare bum flashing by and everyone that was out, not saying a word.

I won’t say about my front because I was endowed like a prince and it was a mystery to me, because it got in the way, trying to do stuff, I could literally sit on my dick.  No really, I had a big fucking wang and so when it came to it, Bridget the neighbor rode out with nothing on and I was like, huh, that’s what she looks like and she was huh, I knew what he looked like and I was like what the fuck am I going to do with this cos we have to ride but is there a hurry?  We are on the highway and there is a way in the woods to ride for a long stretch that is parallel to the asphalt but terminates in a swamp.  We pick the swamp route and she says literally, let’s go thru the swamp.  Both of us are naked riding bikes in the middle of the blazing hot midnight sun such as it’s sweltering, that’s why I do it, take my clothes off, you have to understand it’s a lot hotter than it used to be and she agrees, this Bridget of my life and she is like, yo, stop staring at my butt and I was like, sorry honey, I can’t not, it’s big…

What?

Don’t slap me.

Look, I have to tell you she said as we dismounted and walked our bikes into the undergrowth, looking at the onrushing headlights as if it was a dream.  Everyone is so busy they can’t see us right now but when they can, they aren’t going to be happy with anything you say, they are going to cluster around you and put thoughts in your head that they then act on and so if you don’t have the right thoughts, the Machine will kill you, or so they say, IDK, I have wrestled with it recently.  It killed my friends she said, I’m one of the few left and now I do things on the side of the road for people that remember their bodies and have compassion or just need to put on a show or like the way my body looks when it’s nude because I don’t wear very much any more and so the partisans are naked socially but clothed culturally such as they are the shock troops of an eco-movement that is heading this direction after having been routed in Copenhagen according to some kind of news source, and who got routed, for what, do they mean routed like shown the way and then pointed themselves to their destination, or eliminated from battle?

Will we ever know?

In the meantime, the eco movement isn’t touch with me, so I have to get in touch with it, and it might be the wrong eco fascists for this guy.  Angie is going to get me thru the swamp but I have to get up the lake and into town on my own.  That shouldn’t be that hard once I get onto the Winnipeg River and into one of the rich Brits have vacation properties here now and it’s all Potemkin and I know vaguely where the sore sports are, and the sweet spots and I know people think I’m the Second Coming but who cares, it’s not important what people think, it’s important I get to flesh out the necessity of content in a fractious time and illuminate my surroundings with the providence of my own time in the sun and my own passage towards grace and understanding of the necessities and duties that come with a life well lived.  A life not undone and I ask her, can I hug you before we plunged into the swamp?  

She says yes and then pushes me down for tribute.  

The Planet of the Bonobos has already started and I am the chief of their tribe.

  #amwriting #draft #underworldguisecontent