#also people have noticed this and have started saying fucked up shit just to be at the top of comment sections

[seungfl0wer]

*𝘼𝙣𝙙 𝙏𝙝𝙚𝙮 𝙒𝙚𝙧𝙚 𝙍𝙤𝙤𝙢𝙢𝙖𝙩𝙚𝙨*

Pairing: Bangchan, Felix, Hyunjin x Reader (Fem)

Genre: Smut

Warnings: Chubby!Reader, Foursome, Oral(Both), Multiple:Orgams,Cream-Pies, Rounds, Slight Choking, Praise, Breeding, Slight degrading, Double P, Unprotected sex, Tit play. Sorry for any mistakes or Missing tags

A/N: This is a special fic for my bestie whose birthday is today! I hope I did your scenario justice! I also hope you have a great birthday🖤 @gnabnahcsworld

-🖤

Collage wasn’t so bad, especially when you had 3 fun roommates. They were always doing some dumb stuff that always had you laughing. It was never a dull moment at your place. You��ve all lived together for a bit over a year now so you’ve all become very comfortable with one another.

You were heading to a friend birthday party today. You normally never go to parties, just like being a home body who can walk around in sweats. Today though you ditched your baggy clothes for a skin tight dress. It showed off all your beautiful curves. It really flattered your curvy figure. You got your make up done with about an hour to space. You sighed with relief realizing you still had some time left to relax before being put in a room full of people.

When you made your way out of your room the boys were all sitting on the couch playing some game. You walked over to where you kept your shoes searching for a pair to match your dress. Felix turned his head to say something however his words got stuck in his throat. He slapped the other two pointing towards you. The other men almost doing a double take jaws dropping.

“Where you going?” Chan asked.

“Friend’s birthday party” you said still rummaging through the closet.

When you stood up turning to them you finally noticed their gaze. Mouth still gaping at the sight of you. “What? Does it look that bad?” You asked.

They quickly shook their heads “no- you look” Felix started to say before hyunjin piped in “really hot” Hyunjin said.

You felt a blush creep up on your face “thanks” you said. You made your way back to your room to do some final touches. The boys looked at one another before jumping off the couch. Chan pulled the others back racing to get to your room first. They bursted through your door scaring the shit out of you. “What the fuck guys?” You said laughing a bit.

“Don’t go to the party” Hyunjin said.

“Yeah stay home with us” Felix said.

“What?” You confused.

Chan made his way to you with no warning or hesitation he cupped your face before kissing you. His plump lips moving against yours. You didn’t pull away but you were so confused. “Chan that’s not fair!” Felix said.

Chan pulled away with a soft chuckle you looked up at him still super confused. “Y/n you look way too beautiful to going anywhere” he said with a smile. He kissed you once more his strong arms wrapping around you pulling you up to lay your body down on the bed. He kissed you deeply his tongue swiping at your lips asking for permission. You excepted your tongues tangling in one another’s.

You felt the bed dip on both sides the other two men now on the bed with you. “You ok with this angel?” Felix asked. When you nodded it was like everything that was holding them back went away. Chan moved so he wasn’t on top of you anymore only for Hyunjin to make his way between your legs. “I bet I can make her cum faster than any of you guys” he said with a smirk. He lifted up your dress pulling down your panties.

They all groaned seeing your pretty fat cunt already soaking wet. Hyunjin licked his lips gripping your thick thighs, squeezing the plush skin. He spread your legs wide before kissing up your thighs. He bit at the skin making his way to your core. He gave one small kitten lick up your folds before diving head first into you. His tongue darted against your clit making you moan into Chans kiss.

Felix pulled down the front of your dress letting your breast flood out. He quickly gripped them licking over the sensitive nubs. Chan pulled away with a smirk he moved your hair away from your face “such a pretty girl hmm?” He praised. He moved off the bed freeing himself off his clothes before coming back to you. He stroked his cock before tapping it to your lips “wanna be a good girl for me? Open your mouth” he said.

Now you’d be lying if you didn’t find them all super attractive. However you never thought you’d be in this situation but you weren’t complaining. You happily opened your mouth letting him push his head into your mouth. He let out a low groan feeling the warmth of your mouth around him. Hyunjin pushed his fingers into your dripping cunt making you moan around Chans length.

Felix on your side was now fully naked as well. He stayed playing with your delicious breasts pumping his cock to the sweet sounds you were making. “Y/n how do you feel so soft” Felix said running his hands over your squishy tummy.

“Right her thighs are like little pillows” Hyunjin said.

Felix let his hand wonder down your belly down lower to find your clit. He played with it as hyunjin fucked you with his fingers, his tongue lapping at your folds. Chan couldn’t help himself as he fucked back your throat ever so softly. Hand coming down to run through your hair.

“I can’t take it anymore I need to be inside you” Hyunjin groaned before standing up. The loss of his fingers made you whine only to be replaced by Felix’s. Hyunjin quickly took his clothes off pushing Felix’s hand away before pushing into you slowly. Felix went back to rubbing your clit as Hyunjin thrusted into you. Chan groaned feeling himself getting close to his orgasm. He quickly pulled out of your mouth with a pop.

“Want” you groaned out.

“What do you want beautiful?” Felix said.

“Both” you said almost shyly.

“You want two of us to fuck you?” Felix said with a chuckle.

When you nodded a grin formed across his face he maneuvered himself to be under you. His cock rubbing against your ass now. “You sure about this?” He asked.

“V-very” you said.

Felix pushed himself into you, his and Hyunjin’s cock hitting far back into your cervix. “Can’t believe such a sweet girl wants to be fucked so dirty” Chan said.

“Yeah, y/n you’re a little freak. It’s really hot” Hyunjin said.

They moved their hips in sync Hyunjin’s hand coming down to play with your clit. Felix’s hands coming around to play with your tits that were now covered in purple marks. You were moaning so loudly surely the neighbors would hear. Hell the whole town could probably hear. The others weren’t being any quieter.

Hyunjin’s hips pulled away before snapping back into you with a loud moan from him “shit shit I’m close” he said his head falling back.

“You cum first you lose” Chan said with a laugh.

“Fuck- can’t help it. To good fuck she’s too good” hyunjin moaned out. “Where do you want me to-“ he started to say before you cut him off.

“Inside” you said softly.

His eyes went wide staring down at you “want me to fill you full? God y/n you into breeding too? What a little slut” Hyunjin groaned out. His pace was becoming slopping his cock hitting your cervix hard. Felix’s cock was right behind him hitting all your sensitive spots. Your legs started to tremble cunt tightening around them both. “Cu-cuming!” Hyunjin almost screamed before painting your walls white. The warmth from his cum, their movements and hyunjin’s fingers against your clit had you seeing stars. You came and you came hard.

Your cunt was sucking them in milking him for all he had. The sensation had Felix almost in tears “no no I’m so close” he whined. When hyunjin pulled out Felix cock slipped even deeper into you. He wrapped his arms around you sinking his little fangs into your shoulder. “I’m- I’m gonna cum!” He screamed his body trembling under you before he was cumming.

Your cunt was already so full, two large loads spilling from you. When Chan finally made his way to you he pushed his dick up and down you “don’t wanna lose all this do we” he said with a grin. He pushed both loads back into you. Felix cried out his cock so sensitive at this point. “Chan you ass let me move” he cried.

Chan only chuckled as he kept moving his hands slinked their way up to your throat gripping around it. “Such a dirty little girl hmm? But you’ve been so good for us I can’t be mad.” He said. His grip around your neck tightened a bit at the feeling of your walls clenching around him. “Gonna cum again pretty? Cum for me, be a good girl and cum all over my cock.” He said his hips moving faster.

Your body shook at the feeling of another intense orgasm. Feeling tears pricking at your eyes a staggered moan left your lips as you came once more. Your walls tightened even more around them Felix’s hands digging into you. “Shit fuck fuck I’m cumming again fuck!” Felix rambled out cumming once more.

“Damn lix how-“ hyunjin asked with a soft chuckle.

Felix’s body went almost limp trying to move himself from under you. It was only Chan left inside you now. He let go of your throat leaning his body against you. “You got all 3 of us pumping loads into you. You’re bound to get pregnant” he said with a chuckle. “I can only imagine you with an even cuter belly- fuck” he groaned.

“Chans definitely got a breeding kink” Hyunjin said.

Felix nodded “definitely” he said his voice almost a whisper.

“Only one I wanna breed is this beautiful girl” he said with a smile. He cupped your face once more kissing you sloppily.

His cock was ruthless his balls slapped against you as he fucked into you. “Gonna cum again pretty? You can give me another one yeah? My good girl can do that right?” He said his words like honey. Hyunjin made his way to your side playing with your clit as Chan fucked deep into you.

“Ah- ah- to much-“ you whined out.

“One more pretty and then we can take a break.” Chan said softly.

Your legs wrapped around him pulling him even deeper. His cock hitting your cervix ever so perfectly. He moved his body back grabbing your thick thighs spreading them even more. “Cum for my y/n cum on my cock” he growled.

Your body once more started to tremble. You felt like you were going to explode with pleasure. “Cumming!” You mumbled out.

That’s all Chan needed he was holding back so you could cum together. With a few more thrusts he was cumming deep inside you. “Yeah- fuck- gonna breed you so fucking well” he moaned out. When he pulled out he watched as all the cum dripped from you. There was so much of it too.

True to his word after you took a break Felix had already grabbed a towel to clean you up with. Hyunjin ran and got some drinks before you all made a cuddle pile on your bed. Hyunjin and Chan on both your sides with Felix laying between your legs head on your stomach.

“So y/n if you’d have to say who was the best who would it be?” Chan said.

“Me, it was me” Hyunjin said.

“I don’t know, I think I need some more examples” you said with a laugh.

“Right- we’ll get ready soon for that” Chan said with a smirk.

“Just for the record, I bet I can eat you out way better than Hyunjin did” Felix said.

You never made it to your friend’s party. The night was filled with fucking, cuddle pile and to end the night off Chan ordered food for everyone. It was great having 3 attractive roommates, it was even greater the way the fucked you.

﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌

💙 If you’d like to read more of my stuff you can find it Here: Master List . Thank you for reading and if requests are open or you just wanna talk feel free to send me something🩵

Taglist: @satosugu4l @do-you-remember-summer-127 @xines16 @minh0scat @troublemaker02 @tr-mha-fan @lunearta @velvetmoonlght @minghaosimp @ldysmfrst @felixleftchickennugget

[ariathelamia]

Hellhound HRT Month 6 (4 month wolf 2 month Hellhound)

Heya! It’s me again… starting to do some note taking which… i got kinda chewed out on not doing any of that when i woke up in the hospital-.. wait fuck getting ahead of myself. Let’s start from after I parted with Mars.

So, yeah I got home that day pretty ecstatic to say the least, I mean who can say that they get their meds from an eldritch ritual!... well Mars probably can but that's besides the point let me have this! 

The tablets taste awful, which is to say a lot since my taste hasn’t been the same since about month… 3 or 4? Something something Carnivores taste a lot less than herbivores or omnivores. Well anyway, meat tasted better than before, that’s for sure, but yeah everything else always tasted kinda… bland… so i started to enjoy textures more than taste… where was I?.. Oh yeah, taste of the meds… HORRIBLE.. like someone mixed the consistency of chalk with the aftertaste of puking your guts out… urgh… made a habit of putting them in a little bit of food and then down them that way… that way i at least only taste the food at first and only later maybe a bit of the meds.. 

Sooo anyway, changes… they happen fast on this stuff!! Maybe that's because there is a lot of change to come?... Or the cheap shot Erian gives us some diluted shit because he wants us on the meds for longer for a better and long lasting payroll… anyway! 

The most notable change is my fur… it changed COMPLETELY in color! It used to be orange with a few gray streaks here and there and now it’s almost entirely black with some gray highlights like the fur on my chest or around my wrists and.. other joints. pretty neat! Could swear some of these kinda look like eyes.. especially those on my elbow and knees.. wonder if it’s like a mark from who i got those meds? Well they look cool so i won’t complain!

But yeah pretty much my entire body is covered in fur now, with the fur in my face being a lot shorter and more dense… It feels REALLY fluffy though… like i swear to god i brush through it, and if i don’t press down it almost feels like brushing throw air… that kinda soft.

When it comes to other changes in my body… my legs hurt somewhat now… i guess that means they are starting to change form now too.. becoming.. digigrate.. or something like that? Wolf like! 

My Nails have now pretty much fused with my fingers. They actually look like really sharp claws now. Can’t pull them in yet so… gotta be double careful when scratching myself… already nicked myself pretty bad when I scratched an itch on my shoulder.

The tail has been as fluffy as ever~ I love this thing!!! Helped me a lot with my balance when doing parkour too! it’s just great~ 

Oh yeah! I am slowly growing a snout! hurts like a motherf-.... but damn finally!

Uhm… other than that… i noticed some tightness in my chest about three weeks ago… thought i just overexerted myself but… turns out it was worse than that. Which brings me to the reason I actually ended up in the hospital.

So here I was… meeting some friends from an online group that's basically made by therians for therians, which is an outdoor activity club for those of us that love exercising with our new formed abilities! Tell ya what, ain’t a damn human out there that can teach ya better how to use that tail for balance than some cat therian who already figured it out~ it’s quite specific and you gotta get a feel for it.. but their explanations helped a lot in increasing my stability when free running! Anyway I trailed off.

So I met those people again, that day it was another wolf therian like me- wait.. not like me, forgot i’m a hellhound for a second-, then there was that persian cat therian guy… and big ol’ me! We started easy with warm ups and stretches… that's also when my chest felt tight again for a moment.. but it went away really quickly so i ignored that… bad mistake.

Then we started running around the park at first.. into a more urban area of Hyper City, where we started to climb the buildings, jump some walls… typical kinda parkour stuff! It felt great having the wind in my fur, and doing it with a couple people that get it the same way I do! And boy oh boy am I happy they were there with me… 

Memory is a bit hazy… but I just remember being… hot.. like literally… my chest felt tight as hell, pun intended, and I was literally in mid jumping motion, past the point of no return…. two… and a half stories above some alleyway… and I freaking passed out, like that… From what the others told me I was right behind them… and then I was gone… but they saw some smoke coming up from in between the buildings… I was incredibly lucky I fell into a dumpster.. but must have hit the wall straight on before that… They had trouble getting me out cause… turns out when i told Mars i’d love to have a “fire in my chest”... the eldritch must have listened and taken it literally.. or it’s simply a hellhound thing to have freaking FIRE IN YOUR CHEST. But yeah grabbing me was difficult, too close to my chest and they got burned… even my freaking tank top burned away… god am i lucky i got fur covering my chest already.. the possible embarrassment!! 

But yeah they apparently got me out, called the hospital… and rest is uh history.

According to the doctor’s i had several broken bones… collar… lower legs.. right arm and shoulder… minor fracture of the skull.. lots of shaved skin from hitting a literal brick wall.. 

and to top it all off… freaking 185 degree fahrenheit (or 85° Celsius for us europeans) fever.

They apparently had to put me into an ice bath… and cooled me with tons of ice packs to try and fight the “fever”. Only when Erian, after they had called him in for a consult, figured out what was going on, they simply put me on heat proof bedding and sheets… and kept the temperatures from reaching too high. Guess we Hellhounds can grow a flame organ, kinda like dragons, in our chest.. When I asked them later if that means I can breathe fire they shrugged… I tried but nothing came out except for some smoke.. we all start small… but what we did find out was that, the heat that the organ produces is linked to my emotions. 

When i get angry, it goes up a lot! Happiness and excitement raises it somewhat and the calmer i am, the more towards “normal” temperatures it goes… Still don’t know what sadness does cause… they didn’t wanna force me to cry… tough luck trying in the first place, but they hypoth-... hyppo… they think it would lower the temperature further.

Anyway i am trying my best to stay calm and not get mad cause… while my organ is already functioning pretty well… my body still can’t handle the heat super well… It hurts when it gets too high and I end up with fever symptoms… so yeah gotta wait till I build up some resistance. 

Oh if you’re interested… i was apparently out for about 12 days- plus side, almost two new releases of my shows to watch! But… when i was out… I had some weird dreams… about the moon?... but also about those places i’ve seen from that ritual… They asked me to elaborate about it but nuh-uh, not gonna say a word to them! Not before I talked to Mars about it. Anyway yeah i remember some… weird creature trying to talk to me, didn’t understand a single word but it looked… at least a very little like mars… just… no visible eyes.. some long ass head… and big fucking grin… 

Had some time to think about it all a bit.. and one thing strikes me as odd. While i do take my meds during the early hours and the evening… the changes happen mostly at night… at least the biggest ones… sure the pain carries through the day but it only ever gets really bad at night… So it’s odd that my organ started to become active during the day… hm… bad luck i guess.

Now I gotta explain myself to Erian… way too many questions but he allowed me to rest for now before he comes back and asks them again… “Where did you get those meds? What species did you choose? Are you getting your check ups? Did you think for a moment before taking some back alley medicine?!”... blah blah…. as if it wasn’t partly his fault i had to ask some more… devious powers to help. Not that I regret it. Though it was nice of him to talk to the staff to let me continue taking those meds for now! I’m also back on his schedule again… probably better to be on “Mysterious alien provided Hellhound HRT” with a doctor that has seen a couple weird things already. Therian care seems to be still a little bit of an issue in most hospitals.... then again who can say they have an idea how to treat a hellhound… not something people face on a regular basis like a dog or a cat… 

The only annoying part is that… i’m now pretty much stationary… I get some visits from friends of the support group, and the runners group too, they bring me things I need… like a new tank top for when i finally get out of here… 

Oh yeah-... and the pain… god having broken bones AND changing bone structure is NO FUN! And the painkillers they give me are wack…. urgh note to myself… if anything feels slightly off before or during a run… stick to the low ground… 

________________________________

Yay Part two done! Lets keep the fun times going~

Previous | Next(Coming soon)

[things-arent-what-they-seem66]

Adam stretched as he woke up the next morning. Today felt like it was going to be a good day. There was a note left by Lucifer saying he loved him and that they would have dinner tonight just the two of them.

He smiled, his heart fluttering. Adam rubbed his belly as he felt movement inside his smile widening.

Adam got up and had a quick shower, brushed his teeth and got dressed. He wore black leggings, Angel had been helping him with things that were comfortable and fashionable and apparently leggings go with everything. He also put on a maternity grey t-shirt and a black and gold zip up hoodie. Lastly he put on the special shoes that Lucifer got for him.

Adam grabbed his phone and made an order to have a peppermint tea delivered to the hotel. He needs to go out and get some more so he can just make it here but it's easier for now to have someone else make it and bring it to him. Adam went downstairs and into the kitchen to make his breakfast.

Adam: Morning girlie!

Charlie smiled: Morning Adam! You're in a good mood this morning.

Adam: Yeah, I slept great last night.

He went to the fridge and pulled out a bunch of fruits and some spinach. Contrary to what people think he eats very healthy even if he does like junk food, it didn't exist when he was on earth.

He threw a handful of spinach, strawberries, a banana, blueberries, raspberries and coconut milk into a blender to make a smoothie bowl. Nice and thick.

Adam scooped it out into a bowl and even shared some with Charlie since he made so much. He topped his with more berries when the door bell rang.

Adam: Shit, that must be my tea.

Charlie: I'll get it for you.

Adam: Thank you.

She left to get it and Adam grabbed his prenatal vitamin and took one. When Charlie came back with his tea he thanked her and sipped it and he ate his breakfast.

Charlie: You got any plans today?

Adam: Mmm..... I might take little Farley for a walk when I'm done eating. Bel wants to be sure I'm getting enough exercise. I'll probably pick up a few things while I'm out you need anything?

While they were talking they didn't notice the newest member of the hotel stop in his tracks and hide around the corner.

Steve knew that he was starting over but he wasn't fucking blind and Adam looked beautiful.

Adam walked right by him and didn't notice Steve there, he called out for Farley, a three headed cerberus puppy, put him on a leash and left.

Steve At The Hotel

@beef-brisket

Lucifer smiled at Adam as he rested in bed, hands on his pregnant belly. It was hard to believe that they were going to have twins and just got married.

Finally, they were with their soulmate after all the bull shit they went through.

Finally they can relax.

-

Steve smiled at the radio demon he was so excited to start working for him.

Alastor gave Steve a room key for his room at the hotel.

Steve: Thank you Mr Alastor sir. I won’t let you down.

Alastor smiled: Oh I know you won’t.

[ahalliance]

how do i turn qantoine’s spontaneous marriage proposal to qetoiles into evidence of his early-days fear of qfrench drifing away and keeping secrets from one another

[bmpmp3]

post ankle-twisting clarity

[vrisik]

tiktok has started putting ‘controversial’ comments first (ones with a lot of comments but barely any likes) which means now the first few comments are always something transphobic or racist or sexist, etc. it’s so annoying and genuinely just upsetting for people like fuck tiktok

[creature-once-removed]

.

[loverboybrightsideghost]

they should invent a way to ask if you have felt suicidal or have had suicidal thoughts at the doctor when they ask where you'll answer truthfully. i am fine and i always fight the suicidal thoughts but i went to the urgent care the other day and they asked and i said no no nothing like that. but i lied! of course i have! i've been vaguely fantasizing about getting hit by a car the past few days!!! i truly hate suicide for Reasons, it makes me incredibly sad and distressed, and for myself sometimes i don't even realize it's started creeping into my head again (i'm fine i genuinely promise) but like. as much as i hate it, it's there in some of my friends and me and i have to wonder about the fact that "yeah, but doesn't everyone at least a little bit?" isn't the right answer.

[gallavichsreddie1128]

Tag Team (Deadpool/Wolverine)

Description: Wade is distracted during a mission so afterwards all 3 of them fuck in the Honda.

Warning: Smut

Word Count: 1,773k

Request:

IM OBSESSED WITH WADE AND LOGAN AS A TEAM... May I request a smut where both of them fuck fem!Reader?

Idk reader could also be a hero and it happens during a mission, I trust your writing!!!

Wade had been distracted the entire mission. It was to the point that Logan was getting annoyed with him even more than usual. Y/N had no clue what they were fighting about but was also annoyed with both of them. “Can you guys shut the fuck up?” She growled at them. They both stopped arguing and looked at her, “Can you stop being so hot?” Wade asked. She rolled her eyes and put her finger to her mouth to shush him. “Yes mommy.” Logan looked at him with disgust.

Wade was a kinky son of a bitch but Logan never got used to it. They were trying to kill bad guys but Wade was about to ruin it. Y/N had been so into the mission she had failed to see both of them checking her out. She did have blood all over her but what was new? Wade and Logan both had it bad for the girl but Y/N was oblivious. Before Wade could say anything else the bad guys appeared and they had to kill.

Y/N shot at them, never missing. Logan clawed them up and managed to get more blood on them than before. Wade? Well he was still distracted and barely did anything, “WHAT THE FUCK, WADE?” Y/N yelled at him. She pulled him right out of his dirty thoughts. “Y/N and I just did all the work.” Logan added. “Well my bad that I can’t stop thinking about taking you both to a whole new world of pleasure.” Y/N stared at him with a blank look.

She was really tired of him acting like this, especially on a mission. “Well next time don’t come.” She said and walked away from him. Logan followed but not before growling at him. “Oh come on! You guys act like this isn’t hot as fuck.” He whined, catching up to them. “What’s hot about killing people, Wade?” “EVERYTHING!!” Y/N sighed and stopped walking. “Wade, I’m very flattered but now is not the time.” She said to him. “Wait so there’s a time?” He asked. She sighed and started walking again. 

The Honda Odyssey was the only “bed” that they had which sucked ass but it had to work. They all reeked of blood and guts but Wade couldn’t stop thinking about fucking Y/N in it. “So about earlier, is now the time?” He asked. Logan rolled his eyes and Y/N sighed. She sat up in the backseat and stared at him.

He was still wearing his mask and Logan took his off. “Wade, don’t you wanna fuck in a bed?” She asked, looking around the car. “Honey, I would fuck you in a volcano.” Yeah cuz that was a turn on. She looked at Logan, “What about you?” She asked him. He opened his eyes to look at her, “I wouldn’t fuck you in a volcano but this is all we have.” She laughed at his words and put her weapons on the floor.

“Alright guys. Let’s have some fun.” Wade was out of the car and to the backseat before she could finish her sentence. Logan got on the other side of her and she looked between them, “I’m not sure how this will wo-” Both of them attached their mouths to her neck. She gasped at the sudden action of them and she never noticed that Wade lifted his mask. Their lips moved sloppily on her neck, leaving marks. She gripped both of their necks and pulled them closer. They both placed a hand on her upper thigh and she leaned back against the seat, taking them with her.

Her eyes were closed as they marked her neck until she had purple spots. Logan moved down to her cleavage and Wade’s hand brushed against her pussy. She gasped at the feeling of both of them. Logan kissed and sucked the top of boob while Wade managed to get his fingers in her body suit to her bare pussy, “Holy shit.” She breathed out and he chuckled. “Ya like that princess?” Wade asked as his fingers rubbed her clit.

She was soaked and had been for a few hours now. Logan moved from her tit to the floor and spread her legs. “Move your fingers you Merc.” Logan said to Wade. Wade whined but did anyway so Logan could feast on her pussy. “Take this off.” He demanded her. She undid her body suit and Logan helped her get it off until she was fully naked in nothing but gloves and her boots. Logan chuckled as he looked at her wet pussy.

He sniffed her and sighed, “Fuck darling you smell delicious.” He told her and licked up her clit. She threw her head back and moaned. Wade watched as Logan ate her out and got even harder. He looked at Y/N who had her eyes closed and her breathing was harder. He leaned back too and turned her head towards him and kissed her. She weakly kissed back and moaned into his mouth. Logan was eating her out like an animal eating its first meal.

It was everything. Her hands gripped his hair making him moan into her pussy. The vibration made her whine and Wade stuck his tongue in her mouth. She let his tongue explore her mouth and Logan’s explored her pussy. Her hips bucked into his mouth and she shuddered at how close she was, “I’m gonna cum!” She whined into the kiss. “Cum on his beautiful face.” Wade told her and that did it. She fucked her hips up into his face and came all over. Wade praised her as she rode her sweet orgasm.

Logan flattened his tongue as she did all the work until the pleasure was gone. He pulled away from her pussy and smirked at her. She loved the sight of him covered in her cum. Wade did as well, “Damn wish that was me.” Logan got back onto the seat next to her and kissed her, giving her a taste. She moaned into his mouth. “Fuck that’s so hot.” Wade said. Y/N pulled away from the kiss and moved to kiss Wade giving him a taste as well. While they were kissing she took his mask off and threw it on the ground. Wade was never insecure around them.

They made him feel loved. She broke the kiss and moved in between his legs. He looked down in shock as she pulled out his dick. “Kiss.” She told them and without protest they did. She smirked as she watched for a second before running her pretty fingers over Wade’s cock. He gasped into the kiss. She wrapped her hand around him and jerked him off a few times before taking him into her mouth. Her mouth was the best thing to fuck.

It was wet and warm and felt so good. She placed her hands on his thighs and gave him the best blow job of his life. Wade was the loudest one out of the three of them. He fucked up into her mouth as the car rocked. The windows steamed up as they kissed and she gave him the best blow job ever. “Fuck. Your mouth is amazing, baby.” He moaned.

Logan watched as his dick went in and out of her mouth. Sure her mouth was good but her pussy was even better. Logan and Wade stopped kissing once Wade got really close. He threw his head back and cried out as he came in her throat. She pulled off of him and pulled Logan down for a kiss. She let Wade’s cum travel into Logan’s mouth and he swallowed. Wade gasped as he had never seen anything like that before.

Y/N smirked at him and got back in between them. “So I want all or nothing. You both have to be inside of me at the same time.” She says and they both nod before getting naked. She got on the center console of the car and they both managed to get their dicks in her at the same time. Their car was small but it managed to work. Y/N gasped at both of them penetrating her at the same time. Logan tried to let her adjust to the size but Wade didn’t care and started thrusting.

Her moans were loud inside the car and it felt very hot. Her jaw was dropped and her bloody hair was wet with sweat as well. Wade laid his head on the head of the carseat and groaned out. Logan who had more stanamia than both of them was fucking her fast and hard. Wade tried to keep up but it felt better this way.

“Shit you both are so fucking good.” She whined as one dick would hit her spot and then the other would right after. “You’re one to talk princess, your pussy is so perfect.” Wade groaned. Her moans turned to screams as she started thrusting back on them. The perfect rhythm began and all 3 of them were making loud noises. The heat of the car made things more intense.

Logan’s hand that was gripping one side of her hip was squeezing to the point of bruises. Y/N wished more than anything that she could see how fucked out they both looked but that was the con with doggy style. Especially in a small car. Wade groaned as he felt her pussy squeeze them, “Fuck princess, I’m about to cum.” He announced.

Y/N smirked before moaning as she squeezed them tighter cuz a loud moan to release from Logan. He barely moaned but when he did it was amazing and hot. “Fuck sweetheart, If you do that again I’m gonna cum too.” “That’s the plan.” She whimpered and squeezed them. “Where do ya want it, pretty girl?” “Inside of me. Both of you.” She cried as she too felt closer to the edge.

Wade groaned loudly as he came hard inside of her pretty pussy. Logan was a few seconds later and stilled behind her as he came. Y/N helped them ride it out as she came next screaming their names. The car smelled of sweat and sex as they both pulled out of her. Wade collapsed back against the seat and sighed, “Man I do love a good tag team after a crazy mission.” He said. Logan glared at him, “You didn’t even help.” Y/N turned around to look at the two. “Boys don’t start.” She warned and got in the middle of them. “Maybe if you guys are good we can go for round 2.” She smirked and brought them both in for a kiss.

[vengeful4ever]

ALSO I MADE A TERRIBLE REALISATION EARLIER

[infiniteglitterfall]

know someone who enjoys horror stories? share this one! it's true!

hahahahahahahahahaha aarrggghhhhhhhhhh 3,000,000 deaths due to COVID-19 last year. Globally. Three million. Case rates higher than 90% of the rest of the pandemic. The reason people are still worried about COVID is because it has a way of quietly fucking up your body. And the risk is cumulative.

I'm going to say that again: the risk is cumulative.

It's not just that a lot of people get bad long-term effects from it. One in seven or so? Enough that it's kind of the Russian Roulette of diseases. It's also that the more times you get it, the higher that risk becomes. Like if each time you survived Russian Roulette, the empty chamber was removed from the gun entirely. The worst part is that, psychologically, we have the absolute opposite reaction. If we survive something with no ill effects, we assume it's pretty safe. It is really, really hard to override that sense of, "Ok, well, I got it and now I probably have a lot of immunity and also it wasn't that bad." It is not a respiratory disease. Airborne, yes. Respiratory disease, no: not a cold, not a flu, not RSV.

Like measles (or maybe chickenpox?), it starts with respiratory symptoms. And then it moves to other parts of your body. It seems to target the lungs, the digestive system, the heart, and the brain the most.

It also hits the immune system really hard - a lot of people are suddenly more susceptible to completely unrelated viruses. People get brain fog, migraines, forget things they used to know.

(I really, really hate that it can cross the blood-brain barrier. NOTHING SHOULD EVER CROSS THE BLOOD-BRAIN BARRIER IT IS THERE FOR A REASON.) Anecdotal examples of this shit are horrifying. I've seen people talk about coworkers who've had COVID five or more times, and now their work... just often doesn't make sense? They send emails that say things like, "Sorry, I didn't mean Los Angeles, I meant Los Angeles."

Or they insist they've never heard of some project that they were actually in charge of a year or two before.

Or their work is just kind of falling apart, and they don't seem to be aware of it.

People talk about how they don't want to get the person in trouble, so their team just works around it. Or they describe neighbors and relatives who had COVID repeatedly, were nearly hospitalized, talked about how incredibly sick they felt at the time... and now swear they've only had it once and it wasn't bad, they barely even noticed it.

(As someone who lived with severe dissociation for most of my life, this is a genuinely terrifying idea to me. I've already spent my whole life being like, "but what if I told them that already? but what if I did do that? what if that did happen to me and I just don't remember?") One of its known effects in the brain is to increase impulsivity and risk-taking, which is real fucking convenient honestly. What a fantastic fucking mutation. So happy for it on that one. Yes, please make it seem less important to wear a mask and get vaccinated. I'm not screaming internally at all now.

I saw a tweet from someone last year whose family hadn't had COVID yet, who were still masking in public, including school.

She said that her son was no kind of an athlete. Solidly bottom middle of the pack in gym.

And suddenly, this year, he was absolutely blowing past all the other kids who had to run the mile. He wasn't running any faster. His times weren't fantastic or anything. It's just that the rest of the kids were worse than him now. For some reason. I think about that a lot. (Like my incredibly active six-year-old getting a cold, and suddenly developing post-viral asthma that looked like pneumonia.

He went back to school the day before yesterday, after being home for a month and using preventative inhalers for almost week.

He told me that it was GREAT - except that he couldn't run as much at recess, because he immediately got really tired. Like how I went outside with him to do some yard work and felt like my body couldn't figure out how to increase breathing and heart rate.

I wasn't physically out of breath, but I felt like I was out of breath. That COVID feeling people describe, of "I'm not getting enough air." Except that I didn't have that problem when I had COVID.) Some people don't observe any long (or medium) term side effects after they have it.

But researchers have found viral reservoirs of COVID-19 in everyone they've studied who had it.

It just seems to hang out, dormant, for... well, longer than we've had an opportunity to observe it, so far.

(I definitely watched that literal horror movie. I think that's an entire genre. The alien dormant under ice in the Arctic.)

(oh hey I don't like that either!!!!!!!!!) All of which is to explain why we should still care about avoiding it, and how it manages to still cause excess deaths. Measuring excess deaths has been a standard tool in public health for a long time.

We know how many people usually die from all different causes, every year. So we can tell if, for example, deaths from heart disease have gone way up in the past three years, and look for reasons. Those are excess deaths: deaths that, four years ago, would not have happened. During the pandemic, excess death rates have been a really important tool. For all sorts of reasons. Like, sometimes people die from COVID without ever getting tested, and the official cause is listed as something else because nobody knows they had COVID. But also, people are dying from cardiovascular illness much younger now.

People are having strokes and heart attacks younger, and more often, than they did before the pandemic started. COVID causes a lot of problems. And some of those problems kill people. And some of them make it easier for other things to kill us. Lung damage from COVID leading to lungs collapsing, or to pneumonia, or to a pulmonary embolism, for example. The Economist built a machine-learning model with a 95% confidence interval that gauges excess death statistics around the world, to tell them what the true toll of the ongoing COVID pandemic has been so far.

Total excess deaths globally in 2023: Three million.

3,000,000.

Official COVID-19 deaths globally so far: Seven million. 7,000,000. Total excess deaths during COVID so far: Thirty-five point two million. 35,200,000.

Five times as many.

That's bad. I don't like that at all. I'm glad last year was less than a tenth of that. I'm not particularly confident about that continuing, though, because last year we started a period of really high COVID transmission. Case rates higher than 90% of the rest of the pandemic. Here's their data, and charts you can play with, and links to detailed information on how they did all of this:

Here's a non-paywalled link to it:

https://archive.vn/2024.01.26-012536/https://www.economist.com/graphic-detail/coronavirus-excess-deaths-estimates

Oh: here's a link to where you can buy comfy, effective N95 masks in all sizes:

Those ones are about a buck each after shipping - about $30 for a box of 30. They also have sample packs for a dollar, so you can try a couple of different sizes and styles.

You can wear an N95 mask for about 40 total hours before the effectiveness really drops, so that's like a dollar for a week of wear.

They're also family-owned and have cat-shaped masks and I really love them. These ones are cuter and in a much wider range of colors, prints, and styles, but they're also more expensive; they range from $1.80 to $3 for a mask. ($18-$30 for a box of ten.)

[lxvvie]

Couples shit with Simon Riley, Newlywed Edition:

You and Simon got married, and Price was the Best Man. Kyle stood on your side, and Soap was the flower girl. He blew bubbles instead of throwing flower petals because you and Soap thought it would be funnier. There's a picture floating around somewhere of Simon staring rather concerningly at a particularly large bubble Soap blew, too.

You two swearing you're gonna fuck all night long on your wedding night... only to crash as soon as you hit the bed. You didn't even take your clothes off. The sexathon came later. You two just woke up, looked at each other, happy as a pair of clams, and bloody hell, you made an honest man out of Simon fuckin' Riley.

Getting each other gag gifts as a wedding present. You were serious about getting him that cockring weren't you, love? Well, he has all the time in the world to make use of it.❤️

Noticing how relaxed and settled Simon is after you two start your married lives. Well, as relaxed and settled as Simon could be, all things considered, but he's not as anxious. He's... content. Happy.

Simon still can't believe it though. He's married. He's bloody married. You married him. A right bastard like him, at that. Simon makes a promise to himself and you to never turn what you two have into the shit show that defined his parents' union, promises to never become the asshole his father was, and it gives him all the strength he needs to combat his demons. He'll fight them every day if means seeing your smiling face, luv.

Simon also using the fact that he's married for shock value for everyone other than 141. He doesn't really tell the others but also doesn't bother addressing the news when it gets out. He just lets it be. It's amusing, though, seeing the confusion and shock on the other soldiers' faces when they find out. "Wait, Lieutenant Riley's married? He has a missus?" Correction: "I'm the missus."

He also jokes with the rest of 141 on some, "Sorry, lads, 'm an honest bloke now," which makes the others snort. Will also use a variant for you, too. "No can do, lovie, you made an honest missus outta me." Pfft.

You've also taken to calling him the Hubster ("Pretty cute, eh, Si-bear?" ".........") and you're banned from saying it in public lmao.

Similarly, you use the shock value to troll your associates. Your coworkers were not expecting Simon of all people to be the one you married. You call HIM the Missus? ("Sure do.") The way they see it, you two are polar opposites. Well, they do say that opposites attract.

Simon buying a chain for his wedding band for when he deploys because even with the gloves on, he refuses to wear his ring near his gun. It's a symbol of you, one of the best fuckin' things to ever happen to him, and he'll be damned if he ever lets the two touch.

You jokingly suggest that because Simon has really taken to the missus thing and ran with it, he should get it tattooed on him. This being Simon bloody Riley, he goes and does exactly that. The shock on your face was worth it all. Cheers, darling.

You two holding hands if only to look at your wedding bands side by side and bloody fuckin' hell, you're falling in love with each other all over again.

[enigmaris]

Danny Kills the Joker AU

Danny is on the run in gotham, as you do in dpxdc fics. His parents are dead and he is trying to stay out of Vlad's custody. Gotham has plenty of ectoplasm to hide his ecto signature. It also has a high enough population of homeless people that no one would even notice Danny just showing up.

He's been living rough in gotham, mostly sticking to Crime Alley and The Narrows, sleeping in abandoned buildings or in relatively clean parts of the sewer system. He eats what he can find and does his best never to be seen.

Not good enough since he along with like 30 other street kids get picked up by joker goons and tied up. Joker is planning an explosive party for the city to watch and he needed guests. Joker literally set up bombs of joker gas around the city that will go off and send the entire city into pandemonium, killing millions. The only way to stop the bombs is to kill his guests (homeless kids from Crime Alley) which the city can vote on. Kill themselves or kill kids.

Danny is sitting at the edge of the group, listening as Joker televises his new plan to the entire city.

He really, really hates clowns.

He is also not gonna let this guy kill all of these kids. He may not be a hero anymore but those protection instincts didnt die with his parents.

And also fuck that clown.

He phases through his bonds, and then starts asking the various kids to borrow their hat, gloves, and scarf. Gotham street kids take one look at this out of town kid and mentally wish him luck while planning out his funeral. They keep on acting terrified because as stupid as this kid is being, they're not snitches either.

Danny puts on the borrowed clothes to hide his face and hair. He can't be identified, or Vlad is gonna be on his ass tomorrow. Once fully covered he gets up and into view of the camera. The Joker notices him, turns around to laugh and jeer at him. Probably shoot him for being impolite and interrupting him. Danny doesnt even pause just walks right up to the clown and coldcocks him.

Based on the sound of bones snapping Danny admits he might have punched a little too hard. Danny checks the Jokers pulse and immediately panics. Danny has Batman levels of fear around killing and he is panicking about becoming Dan.

"Holy Shit I killed him!" He says, to the entire city because the camera is still rolling.

Cue:

Danny running for his life, trying to hide away from his fear and guilt.

Red Hood becoming like his dad and drawing up mental adoption papers

Harley Quinn also drawing up adoption papers, paper ones, while Poison Ivy changes their home's 'no boys allowed' banner to 'son boy allowed'

Jokers goons trying to find Danny to kill him for killing their boss

City wide pandemonium as the jokers death is confirmed and people are partying in the streets, the mayor is planning on giving the street kid who did it the key to the fucking city

The batfam trying to find Danny to protect him from Jokers Goons (Bruce is third in line for custody not that he knows he is gonna have to fight both Harley and Jason for the honor)

The crime alley kids are still not snitching on the kid who saved them. Anyone who asks them about Danny only respond with 'what are you a cop? Fuck off pig'

Vlad Masters, as someone who has been punched by Danny, immediately recognizes the punch and flies to Gotham to find his wayward 'son'.

Vlad even meets with Brucie Wayne to ask for help in finding Danny. Bruce gets bad vibes from Vlad and is even more invested in finding Danny. The boy has dark hair, blue eyes, and a tragic orphan backstory. Its fate!

Danny meanwhile is hiding in some sewer somewhere breathing into a paper bag as he panics about becoming a world ending threat.

[caotictimmy]

🍏- ANON? MAYBE??? it's so late for me but reading your nsfw on Daisuke...UAAAGHHH SAAGHHH 🗣️ he's such a vocal man and the whole morning sex thing where he can't get into you quick enough .helpop helppp meeeee helpppp

(maybe this is a request? Maybe I'm just yapping lowkey??? But if you want to write on this, by all means go for it LMAO)

Giggling over Swansea being mortified while walking in on reader x daisuke getting it on, I imagine they don't notice him and Daisuke is getting all needy trying to keep his pace 🤞 That boy has never felt the touch of person romantically so I could onllllyyyy assume that he'd been sensitive his first time. Or like. Every time with reader- especially if they're still on the ship. He's trying to not make too much noise as everyone is asleep ☹️ his whiney ass is NOT making it through that night. Bonus if reader is nonchalant about it the next day at lunch. They're talking with someone about their poor love lives (finding people to stay with how long their jobs shipments are)- reader dropping shit like 'aw man yeah. if only there was someone to really understand me, y'know?'. As if Daisuke wasn't memorizing their insides and how they physically react to him with his body just last night 😭

HELP 🍏 ANON THIS MADE ME LAUGH SO HARD I ALMOST FELL OFF MY BED. But this is Acually so smart. I always believe Daisuke gets lost in the sauce when you guys have sex. For the headcanon I was thinking they were known dating. But for this let’s pretend the crew doesn’t know Daisuke and reader are dating. The first kind middle part will be NSFW. But the rest should be NSFW. This will be done as a one shot. (I’ll also include your little bonus! Plus a little more:3)

What was that god damn noise..? Swansea thought. Irradiated as he heard a squeaking sound, an indescribable muffled sound coming along with it. For fucks sake he just wanted to get some rest! But those loud noises would not let the poor man drift to sleep. He was gonna put a stop to that noise. Once and for all.

Swansea swings his legs over the side of his bed, sitting up. Stretching his arms as he gets ready to investigate what the noise is, and where it’s coming from. He stands up, his back making a loud crack.( I love old man Swansea). He slips his slippers on. Grabbing and putting on his robe by the door. Slowly pushing the door open. Before silently shutting the door. The noise got louder. Even though the walls were paper thin. It still muffled some of the noise.

He tread carefully through the halls. Getting closer to the noise. Swansea could hear talking maybe? The squeaking of something getting louder the more he approaches. Wait. He’s getting closer to Daisuke’s room..? What the hell was that kid doing. He could hear a faint panting? He started walking a bit faster.

Daisuke’s door was cracked open. God was the kid hurt-. Oh… Oh dear god.. For the love of pony express why did he have to be the one to catch this scene. He could now clearly see what was happening now. God why him..? (Warning for what’s ahead will be NSFW)

“Nyyhhh… F-fuck you feel so good. G-god so good. Am I doing good? Mhm!.. a-am I doing good for you. Wanna make sure your feeling as ..ahh ~… as good as I am.” Daisuke whimpered out. His arms wrapped around your waist as he continues going his rough pace.

“Yes! O-oh fuck hah… doing so good for me!”, Your voice muffled as you were face first in your pillow. Daisuke’s body pressing against your back. Like he was trying to mold his body with you. A loud ‘plap’ sound being able to be heard.

Swansea felt his face contort in horror. He could feel his stomach twist in disgust. He definitely walked in on something he definitely shouldn’t have. So what did he do. He went back to his room. Staring at the ceiling with that petrified face still stuck on his face. To say he wasn’t able to sleep that night would be an understatement

-

“I feel like it’s impossible to date anyone with this crappy job.” Anya huffed in a frustrated tone. “I second to that.”, Curly sighed as he ate his crappy lunch.” Our shipments at a Minimum are 5 months! And it’s like we get a month or two back on earth, before they send us back to ship something!” Anya finished. The annoyed look on her face quite prominent.

“I get you Anya. I want to Acually spend time with someone and let them get to know me. But you can’t really do that on this floating rock.”, You said nonchalantly. You sure were letting Daisuke get to know you. All of you… Swansea thought. Trying not to gag at the imagie of what he witnessed last night.

You could feel Daisuke’s eyes turn to you. Lingering a bit longer than ‘just friends’. “Yeah man, it’s such a bummer!” Daisuke said. A light blush spread across his face as he said it. No one else except Swansea noticed.

“Say uh..” Anya started, looking up at you. “I saw you walking in here with a limp, you good?” She asked,her voice laced with concern. God why did you have to ask that Anya! Swansea cringed at her question. “Oh yea no I’m good! Just hit my leg on the wall while sleeping y’know.” You said. Hmh.. I’m sure you were doing some sort of sleeping. Swansea hurrying to finish his food. Quickly getting up to put his plate in the sink and immediately start work. He really just wants to take his mind off this..

-

“Swan-sea!” Daisuke said, dragging the two parts of Swansea’s name out. Swansea ignored Daisuke, continuing to work on the broken vent. “Dude did I do something wrong?” Swansea sighed. Since Daisuke wanted the truth he’ll get it.”For fucks sake Daisuke! Can you have them stop fucking like rabbits! I know you young people have your urges, but this has been going on for the past week. And it’s Saturday for crying out loud!” Swansea yelled.

“AND IF YOU FREAKS ARE GONNA KEEP GOING AT IT. AT LEAST KEEP THE DOOR SHUT AND BE QUIET. SOME OF US ARE TRYING TO SLEEP.” Swansea finished, catching his breath. Daisuke just stood there stunned.

“You.. you heard us..?” Daisuke asked, his mouth agape and his eyes shot wide. “I didn’t just hear you guys. Saw it to! Close the damn door next time!” Swansea said irritated. Daisuke continued to stand there embarrassed. “Swansea uh.. I-I’m so sorry I didn’t realize.” Daisuke stuttered out. Still shocked about the revelation.

“Yeah you better be fucking sorry” Swansea muttered. Turning around before pausing. Sighing a bit. “At lest your getting some action in this hell hole. Reminds me of me and my wife.” He said. Before holding his fist out. “I’m only gonna do this once Daisuke.” Swansea said. Daisuke happily returned the fist bump.

“Now get the hell out of my sight for the rest of the day!” Swansea yelled. “Alright swan-sea!” Daisuke said, doing the same long period name thing. Swansea let out an annoyed sigh. At least the kid was happy…

[thebibliosphere]

Speaking of therapy, I say, as though we're old friends, and you're not a stranger trapped in this metaphorical elevator with me and you can hear the suspension wires starting to fray.

I've been doing a lot of work recently that's focused on imposter syndrome and the feeling that no matter how well or how much I do, I'm not good enough. That I'm somehow tricking everyone into thinking my work is actually good.

Some days it's a minor niggle in my head that I can gentle and soothe with logic and affirmations. Or smother, depending on the mood. Other times it's loud and all-consuming and the mental anguish it causes me is so real I can feel it twitching in my muscles. This desperate fight-or-flight instinct with nowhere to go and nothing to fight but myself.

Anyway, because I'm several types of Mentally Unwell™, I was switching between workshop sheets ahead of next week. Filling in different forms. (Trying to get a good grade in therapy) And I got my "recognize your harmful ADHD coping mechanisms" worksheet mixed in with the "you're not actually lying to people, you just feel like you are because your brain is full of weasels" worksheet, and seeing them side by side made something go topsy turvy in my head, and I just had to sit and breathe for a couple of minutes until the urge to scream passed. Because it clicked, it all suddenly clicked.

The reason the imposter syndrome workshops and therapy sessions aren't sticking was because I do routinely trick people into thinking I'm someone I'm not.

Because I'm masking my ADHD for their convenience.

I've always known there was something wrong with me. My neurotypical peers made it abundantly clear I didn't fit in or was failing in some way I couldn't see nor remedy, no matter how hard I tried.

So I compressed myself into a workaholic box of hyper-competence in the hopes they'd stop noticing the flaws and exploit like me instead. And then subsequently lived with the daily fear that if they looked too close, they'd realize I'm a monumental fuck up with enough personal baggage to block the Suez Canal.

If you ever need someone to burn themselves to ashes for your comfort and convenience, I'm your gal.

Or I used to. Until I had a bit of a breakdown, and the rubber band holding my brain together snapped and pinged off into the stratosphere, never to be seen again.

Unfortunately, the trauma of living like that didn't also fuck off and instead left a gaping maw where my personality ought to be, so now I get to deal with that aftermath.

And it's that aftermath that's affecting the imposter syndrome shit. Because yes, I am hyper-competent and good at what I do-- but it doesn't feel real because that is how I mask.

And the truly frustrating thing is I am good at what I do. I am not pretending. I worked hard to be good at this. It just feels like I'm dicking around because 90% of my personality turns out to be trauma masquerading as humor in a trenchcoat, and having people genuinely like something weird I'm doing is so foreign my brain has decided it's just another form of masking.

I'm pretending to be a good author so people will think I'm a good author, and my brain thinks we are in Danger of being found out. We are in Danger, and writing is Dangerous because then people will know I'm Weird and not whatever palatable version I've presented myself as for their NT sensibilities.

Like the neurotic vampire with a raging praise kink wasn't an obvious giveaway.

Anyway. I got nothing else. Thanks for listening.

I'm going to go be very normal in another room and not stare into the abyss of my own soul for a bit.

[homunculus-argument]

One of the most fun character concepts that I've had that I've never been able to fit into anything is The Most Appropriate Socialite Lady. Nobody dislikes her, but she is, indeed, very Appropriate, always seeming to do everything precisely to social etiquette, even according to social rules that nobody else knew were a thing. If there is a protocol to how to behave or respond in any given situation, no matter how obscure or how long ago it was that this was written down in some Refined Society Etiquette Book, she'll know it. So she is a bit old-fashioned sometimes, but not in a regressive way.

Every time there's a situation where nobody actually knows what the right way to respond would be, they quietly glance at her, because either she knows exactly how to handle this, or if the situation truly is without precedent, her educated guess of what should be done must be the right one. Someone might even write it down for a future etiquette book, of how This Most Polite Well-Mannered Lady responded to this awkward situation.

She doesn't judge people, and is never rude about people breaking Good Manner Rules on purpose (as pointing out someone doing so would be impolite), but the way she seems genuinely surprised and confused whenever someone breaks the protocol that nobody else might even been aware of makes people feel self-conscious or awkward sometimes. And she politely pretends to not notice that. She is very kind, very sweet, but also extremely Appropriate.

So even if this isn't a Victorian style gentlemanly "fine ladies are fragile and must be sheltered from the world"-style society by default, people still feel the need to behave well and be on their best formal behaviour around her, not out of fear of judgement but because she genuinely is that way and nobody wants to upset her. And if someone who doesn't give a shit about protocols upsets her on purpose by deliberately doing something that's fucking rude, they'll be discreetly moved to a different location before getting the shit beat out of them because fuck you for upsetting her.

The thing is, she's actually just autistic as hell. She originally started reading up on social etiquette as a way of masking, but it became a special interest for her, and she isn't just thrilled to teach you how to properly fold a napkin to help you better fit in to the Refined Society, but because she fucking loves infodumping. She's not trying to set herself apart, gatekeep, judge others or show off how she's better than you (like many others of her background would), she just genuinely enjoys having explicitly and clearly written rules and instructions on how to behave in society.

Also the tactful and graceful way in which she doesn't pay notice to veiled insults, or people accidentally saying something insulting to her, isn't always an act. A lot of the time she genuinely just does not notice.