#also oswald's face is cracking me up

[aceinthefreakinspace]

Ace, aro and aspec flags but colorpicked from nygmobs because regardless of how you hc them, they fit the color schemes perfectly

[cartoon-buffoon]

(Uh just in case) TW: Suicide & Guns

Problem with drawing this was HET's posing since it's supposed to be him reaching over Oswald to grab the gun, now this would be fine if not for both characters obviously having black bodies so you can see I kinda went crazy with the white outlines. Also for the hole on the side of Euthenasia's head: it annoys me how in WI the gun misfires and it blows out his eye, the problem is at that angle it has NO SHOT (heh, shot) of hitting his eye so I always imagined it just went in through his skull and ricocheted out his socket

Oh and here's a short little story/exchange between the two that's related to this drawing for my AU of HET & Euthenasia if you care and wanna read it that is ↓ (warning: lots of vulgarity & of course suicide being the main focus)

Euthenasia trembled and stared down the skull faced feline who had a firm grip on his gun "let it go Felix, I can't miss again" he exclaimed, finger still on the trigger "there's only one bullet left in the chamber"

Het ignored the buck's commands and spoke calmly in his raspy voice "Oz, put the gun down before you hurt yourself"

"haha! No shit Sherlock! That's the FUCKING point!" Euthenasia grit his teeth and clicked the hammer back "GET LOST AND LET ME DO THIS!"

Het tightened his grasp on the gun, ready to divert the barrel elsewhere if Euthenasia tried anything "listen, you unloaded 5 bullets into my skull!" He tapped the side of his head and pointed at the cracks the rabbit gave him "now I don't care really, I've been hurt far worse than some silly little bullets, but if you miss your shot you're gonna blow out your other eye, now put it down because I really don't wanna wear a vest reading 'seeing eye cat' for the rest of my fucking life"

"I won't miss if you just let go!"

"If I gotta live in this shit hole so do you! I know life ain't fair yet you just can't fuck off and die because of it!" Het hissed.

"oh you're a comedian now! Ain'tcha!? A real funny man! Because I find it so funny you constantly say I would be better off dead, but here you are! The one trying to stop me!" Euthenasia used his other hand to wave it in Het's face "the walking contradiction! Which is it now? Huh? Should I pull the trigger or not!?"

"...." Het stayed silent, his skull showing no emotion other than a permanent smile plastered onto it.

"oh! Does the kitty cat not have a smartass remark this time around!?" Euthenasia took a step closer to the cat his hand holding the gun making the entire thing shake like a blender "what's next from the hypocrite? Why don't you start to babble on your psychopathic bullshit hmm? See if that'll convince me not to do it! Heck maybe if you're lucky instead of dying I'll start seeing things from your fucked up point of view! I bet you'd like that, huh?"

If Het could scowl, this would be the moment he would of "Alright prick, stop attacking me and focus on yourself" Het spun Euthanasia around and made him gaze at his own reflection "Look in the mirror for a second...do you think Ortensia would wanna see you like this?"

Oswald glared up at the cat who was still holding the barrel of his gun and being the one thing stopping him. Slowly lowering his gaze his eyes fell onto the mirror in front of him. The dim light in the room obscured most of the surroundings yet he could still see his clear as day his broken visage. Gun pressed to his head, mouth stuck in a crooked smirk, eye spasming out and twitching, even his empty socket was leaking a trail of bloody tears that stained his white fur. Instead of his own appearance being the thing that snapped him out of it, it wasn't—rather the image of Het's face. Several cracks running across the feline's skull caused by bullets bouncing off it was what made Euthenasia snap out of his rage induced haze and finally come to his senses.

Euthenasia's grip slowly faltered on the gun as his eye was fixed on the mirror "oh god..."

"well looks like me being a pain your ass actually helped for once, ain't that neat?" Once Euthenasia let go, Het released the firearm and let it clatter to the ground "heh, you know it's bad when I'm the voice of reason here"

Euthenasia turned around and faced Het, seeing what he did even more clearly "I'm sorry... I'm so sorry"

"what for?" Het noticed the buck staring at the cracks across his skull "oh yeah, well that's what bullets do after all, I'm just thankful I'm such a hardhead otherwise they would of probably done a lot worse" Het knocked on his dome trying to lighten the mood

Euthenasia didn't say a word and wrapped his arms around Het and brought him into a hug. Het tensed up at the touch although after hearing some quiet sobs come from the rabbit he slowly leaned into it. The cat was unsure on what to do with his hands, apart of him wanted to hug back yet everything else told him otherwise, eventually he just rested his arms to the side and let out a sigh.

"a thank you would of worked just as fine"

Oswald remained quiet and tightened the hug, still choking down sobs.

"... Your welcome, Ozzie... you're welcome"

[like-rain-or-confetti]

You're gorgeous...

You fell in love with the rogues all over again seeing their new outfit and the world is gonna know it!

The Riddler: He took a bow and opened his arms with a grin. "That's much better!" He grinned. You turned around to look at him and your jaw dropped. "What do you think!?" He smirked. You couldn't help it. You saw his new green suit and couldn't help but stare at him. "You married?" You asked. He raised an eyebrow his smirk remaining on his face. "Like you wouldn't be the first to know." You stood up and approached him. "You're...oh what is that word. My feeble mind has forgotten. It has a double meaning. It could be a temperature but it's also a description for attractive people. Damn, what is that word?" You smirked. He chuckled lowly, his arms wound around your waist as yours wrapped around his neck. "I believe the word you seek, my sweet, is I'm 'hot'." He replied. "That you are." You nodded with a grin and he pulled you in closer, capturing your lips in a kiss.

Scarecrow: He didn't say anything about his new suit but you noticed it immediately when you turned to look at him. He felt your stare and looked back at you. "I am not worthy." You declared flatly. He raised an eyebrow. "Hm? Of what?" "Of you." You replied. Jonathan rolled his eyes. "I need you to not stand beside me around other people because you show me up a lot. My self-esteem can't deal with that." Jonathan cracked a faint smile at you. "But what would I be without you?" He asked softly. "Still gorgeous." You replied. He disagreed. "Not personally. Very few are good at being attractive in looks and personality. You, my dear, have perfected the art."

Two-Face: Even with right side of all of his suits damaged and nearly burned to crisp. Somehow he still pulled them off. You gasped. "Look at you!" He immediately chuckled under his breath as you took his hands and stepped back to get a better look at him. "Is this for my benefit because im benefitting. Do I need to share you with the rest of Gotham? What if someone worthwhile takes you from me!" "Not a chance, gorgeous." Harv' smirked. He watched your eyes run up and down him. "I hit the jackpot with you." You mumbled just loudly enough for him to hear. He tore his hands free of yours for a moment to pull you in by the waist. "Funny, I could say the same about you." He mumbled as he kissed your neck a couple of times.

Black Mask: Roman always looked immaculate. Yet when his white suits were brand new, they popped. You had heard he had a couple of new suits coming and noticed immediately when he was dressed in a white suit and a black shirt and shoes along with lack leather gloves. You gasped, gaining his attention. His masked head turning towards you sharply. "How you doin'? Are you single?" You asked. A low chuckle emitted from his mask. "Not anymore, doll. I'm off the market." You sighed in 'disappointment'. "I'm jealous of your partner. They're very lucky." Roman walked up to you and stroked your cheek. "Lucky you." He grinned.

Penguin: You caught sight of his new coat before he left for work at the lounge. "Oz?" You called. "Yeah, sweetheart? I'm just about to leave." He looked at you whilst fixing his collar. "Looking good?" He asked. Sometimes he felt he had to check he looked alright. Perhaps it was insecurity. You didn't want to upset him by prying or make him self conscious about asking. You looked him over. "Imma marry you." You deadpanned. "Oh yeah?" Oswald smirked. You nodded. "Mhm." "I don't recall proposing, sweetheart." Oswald said. "Who said you'd need to?" He raised an eyebrow. You blinked. "I can't decide if I should propose right now or just kidnap you and force you down the aisle." You pondered and he chuckled. "You think about that whilst I head to work." He kissed your cheek. "Love you!" You held onto him, hugging him and kissing his cheek in return. You felt his hand on your back. "I love you more, sweetheart."

[riddle-me-ri]

Hiii!! I hope you're doing well and having a lovely day!

I was wondering, if you had the time could you possibly make a headcanon or just a short drabble of what the different rogues (and maybe Joker, if you're up to it) reacting to the reader giving them a bizarre question like "What's your favorite color of the alphabet, yes or no?"

I love your work, btw! ❤️❤️

A/N: Thanks so much! I'm glad you love my work. And I'm sorry...uh...this...this is pure crack, but it was fun coming up with different bizarre questions for the Rogues to answer. And sorry, I skipped Joker, I can't really write for him unless he's bouncing off another Rogue (i.e. Eddie cause their feud is my favorite) But I was able to do four rogues, and each has their own short little drabble. Albeit they're more dialogue than anything. Also, there's no particular version of the rogues, just my own generic personification of them. Anyways hope you enjoy it!

What's Your Favorite Time on the Alphabet? w/ Batman Rogues

Edward Nygma/The Riddler: 

"Hey, Eddie!" 

"What is it?" Edward was reading the newspaper, about to do his daily crossword. 

"Do you think words have feelings?" 

"Words..wait what?" He looked up from the paper to look at you from across the dining room table. 

“Do you think words have feelings? Like yeah they convey feelings to us, when we say them and how we say them, but like…”

Ed dropped everything on the table and immediately almost instinctually put his hands to his temples. “No…words aren’t sentient beings, they don’t contain a conscious. Words are a unit of language.” 

“Like..currency?”

“I mean they cost a breath..wait what…no! No..? Are you trying to give me a headache?” 

You pursed your lips and shrugged. “I was just curious, you seemed into it for a minute.”

“I will stab you with this pen.” He clicked the pen top for emphasis. 

“You’re so smart, Eddie, love you!” You swing up from your chair and plant a kiss on his cheek. 

“Fine..maybe just a poke, then.”

Jonathan Crane/Scarecrow:

Jonathan was in his basement laboratory. Of course, where else would he be, and that’s probably the last place you should be. However, you were fearless…clearly. 

You knocked. “Johnny, when you have a minute can you come out? I’ve got something I want to ask.”

Jonathan groaned along with the door as he opened it. “What could possibly be the matter?” 

You walked right on into his lab and took a seat on one of the barstools near a chemistry set. John just rolled his eyes as he shut the door. 

“What’s your favorite color of the alphabet?” 

Jonathan almost dropped the beaker of acid he was trying to pour into a canister. 

“What kind of a foolish question is that? The alphabet doesn’t have a color…”

“So it’s like plain white? Black?” 

“What…no, it can be whatever color you want! Where did this come from?” 

“Just answer the question, don’t question the question!”

“I will respond how I please,” he turned around to face you, but not before putting the beaker down. “Where did this come from?” 

“My brain.”

“That’s concerning…”

“Hey!” 

“As long as the alphabet is accurate it can be any color it wants.”

“But you’re favorite color…”

“The alphabet consists of letters and whatever colors it consists of is up to the creator reciting them on paper.”

“But-”

“-Out!” 

“Your favorite color…”

“This is a nightmare…” Jonathan grabbed you by your shoulders and began dragging you out the door. When you try to rush back in, he slammed the door in your face and locked it. 

“I will let you in, when the nightmare’s over.” He told you through the door. 

Oswald Cobblepot/The Penguin: 

Oswald was enjoying a drink at one of his tables at the Iceberg Lounge. The club was just about to open for the night. 

“Ozzie!” You ran up to him and took a seat next to him. 

“What’s all this for?” He asked.

“What’s the best color at noon, yes or no?”

Oz choked on his drink. You had to pat him on the back to help him get situated. 

“The hell? What kind of question is that?”

“My question, what’s your answer?” 

“I-I don’t have the slightest clue, w-what made you think of that? Have you been hanging out with Eddie or Jervis again?” 

“Nope. I was just curious, since everything’s a construct anyway…” 

Oswald rubbed his hand against his face up and down. He immediately began pouring another drink into his glass. 

“Hey, you didn’t answer my question!”

“I don’t have time for foolish questions, I’ve got a club to open!” 

“Ugh, fine…the answer was titian but be that way…” You crossed your arms and sunk in your chair.

Oswald blinked at you in complete confused awe. He went back to the table and shucked the whole bottle of champagne from the bucket and tucked it under his arm. 

Jervis Tetch/Mad Hatter:

“Jervis!” 

“Yes, my dear?” 

“What time is the color wheel if the pointer is at the complimentaries of purple?” 

“Hmm…” Jervis stroked his chin in deep thought, and tapped his foot. “Well that depends, which complimentaries…green or yellow?”

You open your mouth to respond before you close it again. Now you had to ponder your own question. “...yellow…”

“I would surmise that would be dusk! Or perhaps midday! Yellow is bountiful during those times, its a must!” 

You shrugged, satisfied with his answer. “That’s brilliant! Thanks Jervy!” 

“Don’t mention it, my dear. It was rather fun!”

[finniestoncrane]

if it's ok i had a idea where ed gets (ever so slightly, oswald rly overreacts <3) injured after a mini crime spree where he put himself in danger for oswald's attention. he's a kinky mf so most kinks would be fine but i'd love some spanking, possessive daddy oswald and brat ed. maybe even a collar/leash lol or anything adjacent 💖 also just want you to know you're an amazing writer and person!!!

Harm's Way

Nygmobblepot, word count: 500 my sweet lil baby bean i can absolutely indulge this, he's a kinky little muppet and i love him, but i think i made him too subby oops 💜 request info • prompt list • send me a request • kofi minors DNI!! 🔞 cw for nsfw stuff: violence, danger, almost injury, lil kinky, mostly suggestive, some humiliation/degradation implied

“Don’t be stupid, Oswald, I am perfectly fine and more than capable of-”

Ed was interrupted by a tirade of screams from Oswald, punctuated by his exasperated and melodramatic hand movements and stomping. A typical tantrum.

“If you’re going to shout, I’m not going to listen.”

With lips pursed, head tilted up and back straightened in an effort to seem, or feel, taller, Oswald let out a deep sigh and waved his hands over his chest.

“Fine…fine…I can calm down. I don’t know why I’m expected to though considering that you could have been blasted into nothingness!”

“I have a scrape on my elbow.”

His lips twisted as he furrowed his brows at Ed.

“A scrape which very well could have been a lost limb, or a lost life. How poorly would that reflect on me to have my partner decimated so easily?”

“I’m surprised you even knew I was gone.”

His features softened again, trying to at least appear outwardly calm against his internal rage.

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“You’ve been so caught up in this immense undertaking of your grand heist, that you’ve barely been able to see past your own nose.”

Oswald closed his eyes in disbelief at Ed’s subordination.

“Was that supposed to be funny?”

“Well…no, actually.”

“So, you’ve put yourself in danger to prove a point? To get some…attention?”

It never ceased to amaze Ed how someone could not only sound painfully sarcastic, but also look sarcastic. And yet Oswald achieved this on a semi-permanent basis.

“You did. You would get in harm’s way just to get a reaction out of me?”

“Yes, Oswald.”

“Yes, sir.”

“Yes, sir.”

The timidness in Ed’s voice was entirely put on. He knew how much Oz preferred him to be submissive, and he was more than willing to play into it, to receive the attention he craved.

“Turn around.”

Oswald barked out his instructions, and Edward was quick to follow, turning around to face the wall, hands against it as he braced himself. The anticipation of his touch, be it tainted with anger and disappointment or subtly evocative of Oswald’s possessive love, either was good.

The dull thud of Oswald’s cane against the back of his thighs came as a shock, but a pleasant one. A further strike, and another, moving up the skin until the cane was coming down hard on his still clothed cheeks.

“I’m angry with you, but I’m equally enraged by whoever thought they could harm you and get away with it. The very notion baffles me. You’re mine, and everyone is aware of that.”

“Yes, Oswald.”

A further crack of the cane against him, skin stinging even under the protective layer of clothing, a smile threatening to creep onto his face, Ed managed to stifle the joyful whimper.

“You’ll take me to the person who did this and we’ll see to it that the matter is resolved.”

“Yes, Oswald.”

“And you’ll wear your collar. And I’ll take you on your leash. Embarrassing or not, you evidently can’t be trusted on your own.”

“Yes, Oswald.”

“Yes. Sir.”

“Yes, sir.”

[j-graysonlibrary]

Heartbeats; Paradise XIX

Title: Heartbeats; Paradise

Author: Jay Grayson

Word Count: 112K

Genres: Psychological thriller, drama, sci-fi, LGBT+

Available on: Kobo and my website

Synopsis: Melvin Hardy and Kade Axel appear to be a match made in heaven. After a meet-cute in the rain, the two quickly find themselves in a burgeoning, wholesome relationship.

Yet, things feel…off. It isn’t the ghosts of their pasts that resurface to test the strength of their partnership—no—it’s something nebulous. Something indescribable. Melvin can’t put his finger on it but, the more time he spends with Kade, the more he starts to wonder what’s real and what’s pure fiction. 

XIX:

It’s the same place!

I grab the nearest body to me which happens to be Kade. Like when Gavin and I fell through, we’re all on our assess so I know I have a moment to stop everyone before we walk into the same trap.

“Wait,” I say as the fear from my past latches back onto me. It’s evident in my voice.

“What?” Kade asks and frowns. I don’t know if he’s realized our change in scenery yet or if he’s just choosing not to acknowledge it. Knowing him, he’s figured it’s useless to mention it.

“I know this place.” I let him go and stand up.

“You do?” Starla asks, also standing. She looks around with confusion etched onto her face but she’s not noticeably perturbed.

Oz stands as well as Kade and I look to Oz who is, other than me, the most distressed by our situation. He frowns as he pokes at a nearby leaf.

“Are we in the real world then?” he asks before turning to settle his gaze on me. “You remembered this from your past, right?”

I nod. “I don’t know if this place is the real world though.”

“Where the fuck are we then?” Kade follows up with less care. He looks up as a bird flies overhead.

“I…don’t know exactly.” I gulp when I realize I’m contradicting myself. Everyone stares at me with expectance but I only have one thing to really bring to the table. “This is just where I died. Me and my husband both died here.”

Oz steps closer and grabs my shoulders. “What?” His stare is intense and, while I’m used to it, with all the other emotions coursing through me, I’m rendered speechless.

“Give him some space,” Starla suggests, “He looks like he just remembered.”

Slowly, Oswald lets me go and steps back. “Sorry…Melvin, can you talk us through what you remember?”

I give a slight nod. He and Starla continue to watch me, anticipation clear on their faces, while Kade starts to pace about and nudge the plants around us with his axe.

After I swallow the lump in my throat, I do my best to retell what happened. The most important aspects, I make sure to stress.

“Whatever that flower thing may be, it’s strong. I don’t think we stand a chance against it.” I can’t watch everyone I care about be cut down by that monster and I’d very much like to remain in one piece as well.

“I don’t see a way back,” Starla says with a sigh.

It’s true that the crack we entered through seems to have been a one-way trip but I can’t overstate how much I don’t want to run into that flower monster again.

“We can look for something together,” Oz responds and offers a fleeting smile for me.

“I can chop the forest down,” Kade suggests and swings his axe around.

Oz points at him. “No.”

He rolls his eyes but sets his axe back in its holster. Starla silently chuckles and I wish I could enjoy the moment as well but my heart still hasn’t restarted and my muscles refuse to relax.

We begin to search the area for anything suspicious. It’s much easier said than done on account of how everything here looks suspicious. I start to touch every plant I see, hoping that the exit will work like the entrance does. Maybe I’ll be sucked back and spit out wherever Kendra is if I just touch the right item.

“I hear running water,” Starla mentions after we’ve been searching for a while. She picks up a rock and inspects it before dropping it to the ground.

“I heard that last time too,” I say with a frown.

“Maybe we can find the source and follow the stream? If this is connected to civilization, we’ll find people eventually, right?”

It’s not a bad plan under regular circumstances but I don’t think, in this case, it’ll be too helpful.

“But if this is a separate reality then it might not work that way,” Oz actually says what’s on my mind.

“I don’t see why we can’t just confront this thing,” Kade mumbles and crosses his arms. “It’s a plant, you said. I’ll just chop it down.”

“And if we need it to let us out?” Oz asks.

“Then we should be seeking it out anyway.”

I don’t like either of their stances even if I feel Oz has a point. I already know how that thing reacts to intruders. I’ve clung to a sense of optimism before, sometimes ignorantly so, but this time I can’t pretend that if we just try really hard the result will be different.

“Melvin?” Starla gets my attention.

“…Yes?” I’m sure I’ve missed something with the way she and the other two look at me.

“We were wondering if we should find the flower thing and try to talk to it…?” She winces prematurely, as if she’s expecting me to yell at her.

I don’t have the strength to do that or the will. My shoulders sag and I close my eyes. “I…Gavin tried talking to it before.”

“Melvin…” Oz steps closer. He reaches out as if he’s going to grab me but he thinks better of it and lets his hands hang at his sides. “We can’t stay here forever just looking for an exit. We should be proactive.”

My stomach sinks. I’m being outvoted, like usual. “…don’t say I didn’t warn you.”

“I won’t let anything happen to you,” he responds, sounding as serious as ever but that just hurts me more.

“That’s what Gavin said too.”

No one responds right away—Starla even looks down.

“Well, we’re not Gavin,” Kade states the obvious as he stares at me, “And you’re not Liam anymore.”

I can’t tell if he’s sick of me holding everyone back or if he’s genuinely trying to make me feel better. I’m so confused by his tone and intent that I almost snap completely out of my fear induced funk.

“I…I know that,” I say.

Kade shrugs. “Then don’t let their fate dictate yours. We could have a chance—you don’t know.”

I find myself jealous of Kade in that moment. Not only do I wish I could think the way he does but I also want to have no memories of my past. They have given me a sense of self but, right now, they do nothing but harm me. I’m not even sure that the lack of a past bothers him or if he’s just creating his personality as he goes.

There’s something freeing about that.

I’m too chained to Liam to understand it.

“Fine,” I concede.

“Lead the way then,” Kade demands and gestures his hand out toward me.

Oz sighs loudly and pushes him in the arm before returning to my side. “I’ll walk with you.”

I nod and let him keep me company as I begin to walk the path of my past destruction. Each step fills my body with dread and I find every movement closer harder—heavier. My lungs strain to keep full and my heart hammers so hard it’s starting to hurt.

The clearing comes into view and I grip Oz’s wrist immediately.

That flower is still there, as I knew it would be, and it’s in a near identical position as last time. It’s lying on the ground and the roots spread out around it, a few arching up over the grass.

“That is a big ass flower,” Kade mentions as he takes it in. He and Starla had been keeping close behind us but, now that we’re where we need to be, he walks out and forward.

“Don’t provoke it,” Starla warns her brother as if she knows exactly what’s on his mind.

Kade sighs and I spot him retract his hand from the handle of his battle axe. “What do we do then?”

“Last time, it awoke at the sound of talking…” I say despite the fact that doesn’t appear to be the case anymore. Otherwise, it would already be up and, probably, trying to dismember Kade if I were to take a guess.

Oswald nods curtly and pries my hand off of him. He shoots me a soft look before walking even closer to the red bud.

I want to yell and tell him to stop but I can’t force the words out. I just reach out and wince.

“We do not mean to enter your home,” Oz says with a loud, clear voice. “I know this is no excuse but we just want a way back to where we came from. Though, preferably, we’d like to be placed into the real world. If you can…we would be most grateful.”

My eyes dart between him and the flower and I watch with a churning gut.

As soon as the flower stirs, a jolt of adrenaline runs through me but I can’t do anything with it. I have to just stand there and endure.

“Ho—ly—” Starla murmurs.

The flower rises up and displays itself the same as before. “You trespassers are back…? No…only one of you returns.”

Everyone glances over at me and, while I notice that from my peripherals, my eyes are stuck to the plant. How does it know it’s still me? I don’t look anything like Liam.

“I sense your confusion. I can simply read your energy,” the flower continues, “What brings you and even more of your kind here?”

“As I said,” Oz replies with the same tone as before. It’s amazing to me that he’s showing no signs of terror. There’s no way he’s not feeling it. “We came here by accident. We just want to leave.”

“I thought I fixed the rip in the world…”

“…Who are you…?” Starla asks, staring at the flower with awe in her eyes.

“No one of your concern,” it responds easily.

“Hey, don’t talk to my sister like that,” Kade warns and I tense even more than I thought possible.

Starla doesn’t miss a beat, however, and comes back with, “Are you the source of IVAR’s power?”

I had not even thought of that. I’m so taken aback by the connection I almost can’t feel my terror anymore. It would make sense. I was killed by this thing and then awoke as Melvin. If it was the heart of IVAR, that would explain how I ended up here when none of the memories I’ve received from Liam show me using the system.

But the flower responds in audible confusion. “Who is Ivar?”

“The system, IVAR,” Starla clarifies. “It stands for Immersive Virtual Alternate Reality. It’s where we entered from.”

“…What…?”

We all exchange glances. I guess that theory is out since the flower does not even know what we’re referring to.

“That’s a bit beside the point,” Oz brings us back to the main problem; “We just need to leave. Could you help us?”

The rumbling that emerges from the flower sends me back and I brace for impact. This time I see the vines whip up around the flower but they don’t slice anyone just yet.

“And why should I?”

“Because he asked fuckin’ nicely,” Kade antagonizes even though I mentally beg him not to.

The blur of green through the air is faster than my reaction time. I’m yelling only after it’s struck down toward Kade. I recoil, expecting a bloody mess when the vine retreats but I find Kade, perfectly fine and in one piece.

He’s…dodged it.

“Ha!” he shouts and takes the axe from his back.

“Kade, no!” I scream but he starts hacking at the roots of the monster anyway.

“Stop!” Starla begs.

Another vine whips toward him and, this time, I don’t think he’ll be able to move quickly enough. Oz still tries to run to Kade regardless and I watch as far too much happens far too fast.

I can only register what’s happened after it’s over and the images lag in my brain, shambling into place. Oz does jump over and Kade is in the midst of swinging his axe against another root. I don’t believe Oz will reach him in time but I had been assuming he was trying to shove Kade out of the way.

He didn’t.

He’s thrown himself in the way and been cut across the middle. As he falls to the ground, Kade finally realizes that we’re all trying to get him to stop.

Kade drops his axe and a second tendril follows the first—a move I don’t even see until it’s slashing him down the front.

When he falls is about the time I absorb everything I’ve seen and I cry out in agony. I knew this would happen again!

I knew I’d lose to this monster again!

Starla’s screaming mixes with mine but not for long as she’s struck down next. I close my eyes and drop to my knees, knowing I’m next.

The searing pain in my chest isn’t even surprising.

But the suddenness of it’s absence is.

My eyes flutter open and I glance down to see the green vine retreating from my torso and, in it’s wake, static and colorful squares fill my wound and I feel much better. I whip my head up and look around at the others who are all stumbling up, their injuries also glitching back together.

“You…aren’t alive?” The flower asks and the bud lowers toward the ground. “Yet you aren’t properly dead either…”

Oz checks his hands as if he’s expecting blood but he then he looks away to stare at the flower. “I guess not.”

The red blossom twitches and I expect another attack though I’m no longer as afraid of it. Instead of a second assault, the petals of the flower begin to bloom and I’m amazed by how much larger it becomes as it opens.

That light I noticed just before Liam’s death shines out but then recedes as more and more of it is revealed. In the center of the flower is a strange shape and I don’t get a good look until the light draws back to just illuminate the form.

It’s like two humanoid creatures embracing and their bodies are glowing. One stands behind the other, wrapping its arms around them and resting their head in the crook of their partner’s neck. The one in the front bears two sets of arms—one pair holds their partner while the other stretches out, slowly swaying on either side of them. The petals fan out around them and, from the being in the back, emerges six wings that vary in color but blend into the petals. Their feet rest on the snake-like stem and, at some points, the stem looks as though it might be a part of their bodies as well.

The sight renders all four of us silent.

It’s a lot to take in.

“You cannot return to the world of the living but you cannot stay here—you are not permitted.” The humanoid in the front says and I can tell because their mouth opens, releasing more light as it does so.

“We can’t go back into IVAR,” Starla counters.

“The news of this IVAR greatly troubles us…” they continue with contemplation in their voice, “If others like yourselves can reach this place through it then it must be dealt with…”

“Hey, you listening?” Kade balks.

To my surprise, they chuckle. I don’t know if it’s just because I am now faced with a more humanoid shape but I swear the flower sounds more pleasant now. I suppose it does help that they aren’t trying to kill us anymore.

“Yes. I cannot give you much but I will do this: I will bestow bodies onto you that will give you access to the larger world. In turn, you must never return here.”

“Deal,” I say without a second thought.

The light from their form starts to grow again and it gets to a point where I have to cover my eyes with my hand. There is warmth in the light and all of my fear and even my hatred for the being are washed away as it passes over me. I almost don’t remember why I ever despised this place.

But it’s gone in a flash and we’re falling into a much darker space. I hear someone let out an “oof” upon contact with the cool, hard floor. I have someone’s knee in my back and I grunt and try to sit up but Kade is over my lap.

“Guys?!” A new voice calls out and I crane my neck up and look around.

It’s still dark but there is a blue glow coming from a computer that sits on the floor a few feet away. And, beside that computer is a large woman. I can only see her outline but I know I’m not familiar with it. Despite this, with her next words, I feel I do actually know her.

“How in the hell are you here?! I was still working on getting you out…what happened?”

[reminem69]

Anything, Always - Edward Nygma/Oswald Cobblepot (Gotham)

Summary: Ed has a nightmare about Kristen. Oswald is there for him.

Notes: Lots of talk of choking/strangling and death in this y'all. They have to be really sad before they can be happy <3 (Canon Divergence, Isabella doesn't exist and Oswald and Edward ended up getting together.)

Also on Ao3!!

———

Restless nights at the hands of nightmares aren’t uncommon to Edward. Choking your first love to death can do that to you. Though, just because they’re common doesn’t mean they hurt any less.

Edward’s not in his own body. Instead, he is watching himself in a void where there is nothing but him and his double. And Kristen. 

His double has her pinned to the ground, both hands tight around her throat. Ed can hear her breathless pleads. He knows she wants to live. She’s not ready to die. He can see the life she could have had, her growing old and happy, a long fulfilling life. 

Hands claw at his own. He’s strangling her now. He tries to scream, to let go, to do anything to stop this. Frozen in place, all he can do is watch the tears escape as the light in her eyes dies along with her.

Edward shoots up with a gasp. Tears are running down his face and he’s panting. A soft mattress below him, warm covers on him, a dark, blurry bedroom around him. He’s home and safe in bed. Which means…

“Ed!” He startles and looks over to his boyfriend, in bed beside him. He looks like he just woke up, blinking hard through sleep and his hair a mess. Still, he looks terrified, eyes inspecting every inch of Edward. His hands are up, like he can’t decide if he’s allowed to touch him or not.

Edward just stares, tears running down his face. “I killed her Oswald.” The words barely come out, but in the deafening silence of their room, they practically echo. Oswald’s fear fades into understanding and he reaches out.

Edward’s shoulders shake in a silent sob as he falls into his partner. He tucks his head into his shoulder, hiding away from the thoughts. Oswald wraps him tight in a hug, hands constantly moving as if he could gather up Ed and piece him back together. 

Safe in the other’s arms, Edward lets himself sob and cry, gripping tight to Oswald. Oswald pets his hair, and he can feel a soft kiss pressed into his shoulder. 

“I’ve got you Ed,” Oswald whispers, rocking them slightly. “I’m here love.”

“I-I didn’t,” he gasps. “I didn’t mean to!” His voice cracks as he cries, breaking into a coughing fit. He pushes away from Oswald, hands grasping at his sore throat. 

Hands around his throat, breath fleeting and scarce. Is this what she felt like? Like her last proper breath was wasted? Startlingly aware of how close death was, not able to do a thing about it? Oh, the irony if he would’ve gone out like that. The karma of it all.

Edward doesn’t realize his hands are around his own throat until Oswald tears them away. He’s shocked back into reality by the sudden touch. He’d been choking himself. 

Oswald looks lost and horrified. His hands are tight around Edward’s wrists, both of them shaking horribly. He only now realizes Oswald had been shouting his name.

“I…,” Ed stares, sniffling. “I didn’t even realize.” He laughs a little, coughing. “I just, all I could imagine was Butch, if he had—.”

“But he didn’t,” Oswald interrupts. He’s crying too, trying to smile at the other. His lip is quivering and his words are shaky. “You are alive. And you deserve to be. You’re here, with me, and we’re together and safe. And I’m never going to let anything happen to you, Edward.”

Oswald releases his hands to gently hold his tear-stained face. “I don’t care if I have to rid the city of everyone in it, burn down every building, and build a new world from the ground up, I swear I will do everything to keep you safe.”

Edward leans into his hand and sobs, the other hand petting his hair. Oswald leans up and presses a soft kiss to his forehead. “If I can’t protect you while you’re in your own head, I promise to do everything I can to keep you safe out here.”

The sentiment mirrors what Edward says to him when he’s the one waking up from nightmares. Ed will hold him while he cries over his lost mother, swearing that no one will ever hurt him like that again with Edward around. The symmetry of their broken lives and painful nights is almost comforting to him. A shared yet separate pain bonding them together in a way nothing else can.

Edward hugs himself and leans into Oswald. The other holds him as close as he can. He pets Ed’s hair, whispering sweet nothings and loving promises into his ear while he cries.

They stay like that for who knows how long, the quiet of the room filled with sobs and gasps, shushing and whispers. It’s sad and intimate and, despite the pain, Edward almost doesn’t want it to end. But it does, as all good things do.

His sobs die down to quiet sniffles, now fully draped over his partner. His eyes and throat hurt, and he’s absolutely drained. Oswald sighs into his shoulder and pulls away.

Oswald presses a kiss to his temple, wiping the tears from his face. “There you are.” They both smile at that and Edward leans in. They gently press their foreheads together. 

“Thank you, dear,” Edward whispers, voice hoarse. Oswald hums and pulls away. 

“Anything, always,” he says. “Is your throat alright?” Edward looks away, answering without saying a thing. “That’s what I thought. Let me make you ginger tea, alright? We can stay up or we can sleep again—.”

“No, please,” Ed rasps. “I don’t think I can sleep peacefully. Not tonight.”

Oswald nods, understanding completely after having so many sleepless nights of his own. “Then we won’t. Come on, let’s go.”

He gets out of bed, offering a hand to Edward, who takes it. Edward stands, letting the other fuss over him. Oswald wraps him in a soft blanket and puts his glasses on him. As soon as Ed can see properly, he leans down, capturing Oswald’s lips in a soft kiss. It’s quick and gentle, ended with adoring smiles from them both.

Hand in hand, the pair head to the living room. Oswald leads the other to the sofa, sitting him down and pressing a kiss to his forehead. He leaves Edward there in the dark and silent room, going to the kitchen.

The silence of their shared home, only interrupted by soft noises from the kitchen, serves to calm Edward. His head feels empty, the morbid thoughts draining away and leaving bliss in their wake. It’s not often he’s calmed enough that his thoughts fade. When it happens though, it’s a beautiful thing.

He knows he’s there, half coherent, for at least a few minutes, but it feels like two seconds and an hour when the sofa dips beside him. 

Blinking back into reality, his head lulls over to see Oswald. Edward grins at him, making him smile back with a little laugh.

“You looked in your own world there Ed,” his partner says softly, handing him the tea. Ed just hums, blowing on his tea before taking a sip of it. Ginger and honey flood his senses and he sighs.

“Perfect as always, my dear,” he says, taking a few more sips of it before placing it on the coffee table. “Your mother would be proud.” Oswald beams at that. His mother can be a sensitive topic, but he always smiles when the comments come from Edward.

Ed moves, opting to lay on the couch with his head in Oswald’s lap. He stares up at his boyfriend. Even with only the glow of moonshine and the distant kitchen light, both of them having forgotten to turn a lamp on, Edward still admires the other with love.

The careful splattering of freckles across his cheeks, the way his eyes squint and his whole face brightens in a smile, the messy bedhead Ed can’t help but reach up and run a hand through. How a man like him got so lucky as to be with someone as beautiful as Oswald, he’ll never know.

The hand in Oswald’s hair falls to his neck, pulling him down softly. They meet in a kiss, a little sideways and a little bit of a weird angle, but full of a fondness they only hold for each other nonetheless. When Edward’s eyes open again, he sees tears on Oswald’s face.

“I’m sorry,” Oswald says, wiping the tears away as Ed sits up, pulling him into a hug. “I’m trying to comfort you, and yet, even after sobbing your eyes out, you still look at me like that. You still kiss me like that. It’s almost overwhelming.”

“I know exactly what you mean,” Edward laughs, kissing the other’s head. When the tables are turned and Oswald looks at him fondly, Edward drowns in it. After having a life of people ridiculing you at every turn, someone looking at you like you’re heaven itself can be a shock. It’s exhilarating.

“I love you,” Oswald whispers. Edward grins from ear to ear, pulling him closer as Oswald grips tight to the back of his shirt.

“I love you too Oswald.”

They stay like that for a while, separating only when Ed coughs and Oswald badgers him to drink more tea. They hold each other, lounging on the couch and talking about anything and everything until Edward’s cup is empty and they’ve fallen asleep in each other’s arms, morning light starting to pour into the room.

The nightmares don’t get any less painful, but the aftermath is much easier to deal with when you have someone who loves you.

[funtimespringscare101]

Five Nights at Freddy's: Into The Pit Aftermath Chapter 5 (Late 8 Year FNAF Anniversary Special)

Eleanor became more panicked as Spring moved closer to Sarah, Stitch's hold on her was strong but he was beginning to weaken.

Oswald watched as Spring walked towards Sarah, he didn't expect this summer to go the way it did, the incident at Jeff's Pizza left him on his feet. Seeing Spring again, in the way he was acting now, was a good thing. At least he got one good thing after the incident in 1985.

Spring put the syringe on Sarah's neck, and she winced, Oswald felt bad for her, no one deserved her fate and Eleanor kept trying to escape the Stitchwraith's hold.

When Oswald first heard about The StitchWraith, he was creeped out. it was just a creepy urban legend that got very popular for him at first. "A Hooded Figure with a Blacked out eye and a creepy mask walking around Hurricane? No,Thank you!" was his first thought about it. But he got home and looked into it in the Newspapers his dad read, he got a big shock with the horribly electrocuted bodies that the StitchWraith left in his wake.

Spring started to drain Sarah's Remnant out of her body into the Syringe, her eyes started to get heavy. "Y-you all right, Sarah?" he asked and she nodded with a sleepy smile. this whole procedure seemed like a Surgery for a implant, only where Sarah could die if he got this wrong. His hands were shaking and his breath was shaky, the anxiety from that thought filled his mind with fear. He focused on the task at hand. "Spring?" A voice called and Spring froze, Sarah heard it too and also froze. Spring sighed, "Go away, Shadow." he said.

Shadow appeared next to him. He was very similar to Spring, his fur was a very dark phase of purple, with a lighter-toned bowtie. his fur was messy and his eyes were black, with bright violet pupils that glowed. He was a lot calmer than he was the last few months, his sanity was coming back. He was who made Spring kill those kids in 1985. Spring never hated Shadow for it though, Shadow told him that he was kicked out of his home and mentally tortured by a guy called Nightmare, who seemed like a bastard anyway. "Hey?…" his Voice seemed nervous, "Can I help?…Please?" Sarah stared with a very concerned look on her face, "Spring, do you care to introduce me to this friend of yours?" she whispered.

Spring protested for a moment but sighed, "Shadow, this is Sarah. Sarah, this is Shadow." "Charmed" She continued whispering, "Now, Can you explain how you can help me, Shadow?" He looked at the necklace in Stitch's hand, "I could do a spell on that Necklace you guys definitely wanted to get." Spring looked at Shadow with a surprised look, "Shadow, you'll do that for… someone you just met?" "No.." he replied and smiled at Sarah, "a new friend." Shadow look at the necklace and lifted his hand. It Glowed bluish purple as the necklace floated from Stitch's hand. Stitch, Eleanor and Oswald, who couldn't see Shadow, were now looking at the event that was happening.

Shadow lifted his other hand and the necklace's cracked heartpiece began to fix itself, Eleanor looked at the spectacle that was happening, her face filled with fear and wonder. The Necklace finished itself and it began to float back into Stitch's hand, which he took reluctantly, out of shock. Shadow looked at Spring and Sarah, and weakly smiled. "T-there we go…", he collapsed but Spring caught him. Now was the moment that Stitch, Oswald and Eleanor noticed Shadow. "Who are You?" Eleanor asked with a very scared tone, Shadow slowly stood up with Spring's help and said "someone that you won't want on your ass." Eleanor swallowed, and Spring looked at Sarah. "Well, with that note, let's finish this, shall we, Sarah?"

She nodded and Spring continued the Procedure. With Sarah's remnant now fully in the syringe, Spring turned his attention to the endoskeleton, now completed with the now-fixed necklace. He pointed the syringe to the base of its neck and began to push the plunger down. Little by little, the endoskeleton started to move its joints, Sarah was getting used to it. Eleanor began to get more and more restless as the whole thing progressed. At last, Sarah stood up, looking at her new body, she chuckled, "Thanks Guys, It feels so good to move again."

Spring pressed the Necklace's Illusion disk, and a faint ringing sound filled the space, everyone took their hands to their ears. Spring looked back at Sarah. she was now a robotic looking being with brown messy hair and light blue eyes that were similar to Spring's. Her face was pale, with faint tear streaks running from her eyes, her face was also cracked in a couple of places, her endoskeleton was still bare though, Spring and Stitch Immediately thought that the necklace's damage was internal. Sarah still smiled anyway. "YES!" she exclaimed in glee, hugging herself.

Stitch Chuckled, "I'm Glad you're okay no~", he paused, with his face turning serious. he looked around before facing Spring and Sarah, "I sense something nearby, something full of Agony." Sarah looked like she knew that Stitch was talking about, "like me?" she asked, Stitch nodded. "Well, Then, Let's get going then! Are you okay to walk, Shadow?" Spring Asked, and Shadow nodded back. "But you aren't going anywhere butt-naked like that, Sarah." he pointed at Sarah, she realized he was right, blushing. Oswald Softly chuckled. Sarah looked around and spotted a nearly clean rosy pink shirt on one of the mounds and put in on, it was a little bigger than her and it made her like a toddler. Stitch Nodded, "All Right, Let's Go Everyone!" he said as he released Eleanor and led the charge, with them leaving Eleanor behind, gasping for breath. "Oh, No you don't!" She growled and chased them. In a few blocks, they found the place responsible, Spring's eyes widen, "Freddy Fazbear's?! but it looks way different than the one I came from…" Oswald smiled, "Welcome to the future." he said humorously, and that made Stitch and Sarah looked at Spring in Confusion. "Guys!" Shadow exclaimed, "Sorry to Interrupt but WE HAVE COMPANY!", but it was too late. Eleanor already had her hands on Spring's neck.

"YOU STOLE MY ONE CHANCE AT A BETTER LIFE AWAY AND NOW YOU'RE GONNA PAY, RABBIT!" She Screamed in Rage.

[bookcastic]

2x11 of Gotham is just Lucius Fox being completely surrounded by borderline insane people and I really appreciate that because it’s so accurate to his character. He’s like “don’t you want a backup plan?” And Oswald’s goes “failure is not an option” and Lucius’ face is just SO done with this penguin man’s shit (like, Oswald didn’t even answer his question??? Lmao) but then he looks over at Jim and Jim AGREES so he’s like “guess all my friends are about to either kill a cult or die trying! Fun.” Also Lucius asking Harvey who Selina is just cracks me up Bc while you’d think Harvey is one of the sane ones, that’s not right. None of them are sane, but Harvey has the most ride-or-die crackhead energy in the group, barring maybe Alfred. And Lucius is seriously questioning why this random teenage girl is suiting up with a bunch of psychos to help rescue Bruce Wayne. Love this for them <3

[thescullyphile]

Hi, I have a prompt for you: M&S at a party organized by the gunmen with 80s music and a lot of alcohol. Just two 'drunk in love' fools, enjoying themselves for once (and making out a lot). Have a good day ;)

A/N: This is my first ever prompt, so this made my day! I tried to be faithful to the prompt, but there are a fewww discrepancies, mostly because I know nothing about alcohol OR kissing. Nevertheless, I tried my best to deliver and I hope you enjoy. :D

Invitation

“Miss Dana Katherine Scully,

It would be our great honor to invite you to ‘A Night After His Own Heart’ to celebrate the publication of the 100th issue of The Lone Gunman and to memorialize our late President, John Fitzgerald Kennedy. Dinner and drinks will be provided, please dress according to semi formal guidelines.

Sincerely,

Messrs. John Fitzgerald Byers, Melvin Frohike, and Richard ‘Ringo’ Langly”

Assuming that Mulder was also attending, Scully put her RSVP in the mail without a second thought.

—

Two weeks later, Mulder knocked on Scully’s door in a suit and it felt so much like a date that she blushed. Thankfully, he shattered the illusion by holding up his tie and asking if she knew how to make a Trinity knot (she did).

They went from being perfectly on time to being fashionably late after the ‘Trinity knot trial,’ as Mulder wanted to call it, as if having Scully so close he could smell her perfume wasn’t an event he wanted to replicate. Frohike whistled when he opened the door (password: Lee Harvey Oswald). “Ms. Scully, looking especially divine tonight,” he grumbled, welcoming her with a sweep of his hand. “Oh, hey Mulder.”

The Lone Gunmen’s den was miraculously clean, computer screens flickering with projected candles, a detail Langly was proud of. A cluster of desks had been cleared out in favor of a large wooden table, and Frohike pulled out Scully’s chair with a flourish. A heavenly scent emanated from the back, where she assumed Byers and Langly were, and where Frohike blustered to after she was seated. She was left alone with Mulder, and he looked at her in the faux-candlelight and seemed almost shy. “I don’t know if...” he trailed off and gathered his courage. “I like your dress, Scully, you look beautiful.”

Scully couldn’t quite bite back a smile as she looked down like she was seeing herself for the first time. Her dress was pretty, elegant and off the shoulder in a deep maroon she knew was flattering. “Well, I had to get Frohike a gift, didn’t I?”

Mulder traced her throat with his eyes, and she wondered if he could see the wavering of her pulse point against her skin. “Do I get a gift too?” He asked softly.

Scully looked him in the eyes and opened her mouth to respond but was cut off by Langly entering with the singular largest chocolate cake she had ever seen. “My God.”

“Dinner is served.” Mulder said with entirely too much glee. Scully looked aghast, and he cracked a grin. “Don’t worry, you eat it, not the other way around.”

Scully was torn between a laugh and a grimace, and only settled on a laugh when Byers and Frohike approached with actual food. Mulder’s foot hooked under her chair, distracting her long enough that she didn’t notice three shot glasses being placed in front of her until it was too late. The table was set and alcohol served in what felt like microseconds, and upon seeing her quizzical look, Mulder leaned in to explain. He really didn’t need to be that close. Scully liked it. “In honor of JFK,” he whispered like it was a secret. “Sixty three shots proved a little ambitious, so we just settled on three.” He sounded amused, and with his breath brushing her ear, Scully already felt a little drunk.

Ever prudent, Byers served up lamb chops and mashed potatoes (a favorite of the late President) and they all ate before downing the shots. Mulder’s face wrinkled predictably, not one for hard liquor, and all the Lone Gunman covered up coughs as the alcohol burned through their chests. Then, suitably inebriated, Langly did the honors of carving up the cake. A piece the size of Mulder’s palm (when did that become her unit of measurement?) found its way to Scully’s plate, and she nibbled at it dutifully as Mulder inhaled cake like his life depended on it. She pushed her plate over to him when he finished his slice and he set at it with equal vigor. “I’m impressed, Mulder, you’d make a feral cat proud.” He almost choked on his cake from the unexpected onset of his laugh.

—

The better half of a bottle of vodka later, the giggling of the Gunmen over an apparently funny issue of their self-titled publication, and an odd 80s song playing in the background that Scully couldn’t tell was offensive or not proved the perfect cocktail for Mulder to work up his nerve. He cast a conspiratorial look at Scully, microexpressions turning macro as he leaned in close. “Do you want to dance?”

Both of them were pretending to be more drunk than they were, any excuse to bump into each other was suitable. Mulder pulled her close, fingers interlacing on the small of her back, his spot, while his chin rested on her hair. “Is it just me, or are you shorter than usual?”

Scully huffed and leaned her head against his chest. “My shoes are under the table.”

He hummed thoughtfully and kept them swaying, her stockinged feet slid on the tiled floor as Mulder led them in circles.

Emboldened, Scully looked at Mulder and  leaned up so she could whisper in his ear. “I know this is the boy’s party, but I do have a gift for you.”

Mulder’s heart rate rose. “Oh? And what would that be, Dana Katherine?” he murmured. She shivered at his use of her name and pressed a kiss to his lips. He tasted like chocolate cake and he smiled against her mouth, which would have been endearing if she hadn’t wanted to eat him alive. They broke apart minutes later, breathless and flushed, and Mulder held her close to his body. “I’m never going to let you go.”

[oswaldsleftbicep]

Happy New Year!!❤️ Looking foward another year with your amazing writing

Also can I ask for headcanons with Lucas, Oswald and Lucia reacting to a reader that got clingy after drinking too much alcohol??

lucia, oswald, & lucas + drunk and clingy gn!so

you're so sweet 😭 it means so much that y'all enjoy my writing and look forward to it :,) but let me preface this by saying i've never been drunk, i've never even had a drop of alcohol and i honestly don't plan to ever drink. so, i'm basing the reader's behavior off of what i witnessed when i crashed my ex's boy's night a couple months ago lol

genre: crack, fluff

cw: alcohol and intoxication, one curse word, poorly described cuddle positions

Lucia

❧ he was throwing a party at his mansion and you already know that when there's a party, there's alcohol

❧ the only reason why lucia was sober was because he was hosting the party, otherwise he would've been right with you getting absolutely hammered

❧ this wasn't a completely formal event so there was more than just the usual classy alcohols like champagne and wine

❧ and lucia knew that you had a hard week for whatever reason whether it was stress or emotions, so when the two of you entered the ballroom he told you to go have fun and off you went

❧ of course he was keeping a close eye on you because that's his partner out there getting drunk among strangers, but whenever lucia was caught up talking to a guest he would have kaim watch you

❧ so about an hour or two into the party kaim comes speed walking up to lucia and steals him away from the guest he was talking to

❧ kaim tells lucia that you seem to be a little too intoxicated, but lucia's like "nah they're fine, let them have this"

❧ but then kaim points you out in the crowd and you're surrounded by a group of people and you're talking to all of them at once quite enthusiastically and you're also starting to get kinda touchy with them, not that they really seem to mind because they recognize that you're harmless in this state and they all think it's amusing

❧ so lucia walks over to see what's up, and as he gets closer he hears that you're talking excitedly about this puppy you saw the other day, and whenever you touch one of the stranger's/your new best friend's shoulder or arm you immediately apologize and continue your story without missing a beat

❧ but then you spot lucia and it's like you were never even talking about a puppy, you're just like "oh hey!! it's lucia!! my wonderful partner and the love of my life!!"

❧ then you latch onto him, and he hugs you back of course, but you're not showing any sign of letting go any time soon, which normally he'd love but he's hosting a party right now and he can't have you just hanging off of him

❧ so he moves you so that you're holding onto his arm instead and you spend the remaining couple hours of the party walking around together with you hugging his arm

❧ once the party's over lucia tells kaim and the other staff to take care of the cleanup while he takes you back to his room to lie down

❧ the whole way there you're still latched onto his arm, only now you've started to rub your face against it too

❧ so he gets you into the room and decides to get you settled in. he sits you down onto the bed and takes your shoes off for you, but when he stands up to help you out of your evening outfit, you grab him and pull him down onto the bed so that you're holding him on top of you and you're nuzzling your face into the top of his head

❧ he was very caught off guard but loves the attention regardless

❧ but then he's like "ok seriously tho we need to get into our pjs" to which you protest so he's gotta do some negotiating. mans may be irresponsible at times but when it comes to you he's at the top of his game

❧ he tells you that if the two of you can get into your pjs in the next five minutes, you can cuddle him all night long

❧ you're like "heck yeah!!!" and you gently shoo him off of you, spring up, and start stripping. he gets kinda flustered at first but laughs it off and hands you your pjs and makes sure you're putting them on correctly

❧ you end up in bed way before him since he helped you get ready, and you're whining for him to hurry up and come cuddle you already >:(

❧ so because of the peer pressure he settles for just his underwear as his pjs for the night so he can keep his promise to you

❧ he's a little shit tho so he slowly gets into bed, like he's dragging this out so you get impatient and pull him in the rest of the way and toward you while he's laughing cuz you're so cute when you're clingy

❧ the cuddle position y'all go for is him on his back and you with your leg across his hip and an arm over his torso and your head on his chest

❧ you're forcing your face deeper into his chest and drawing little shapes into his skin and mumbling about how much you love him

❧ the whole time he's just caressing your back and your head with a lovesick smile, responding to some of your little comments with an amused tone, until you finally fall asleep

Oswald

❧ you were having some drinks with him and lucia and some of the other staff at the mansion this happened in someone's route i don't remember whose tho

❧ oswald's a big guy which means he's got a pretty good tolerance, so even if he's drinking with you he never gets drunk at the same rate

❧ he would've gotten himself drunk if he didn't watch as you progressively got more and more wasted as the night went on

❧ and since one of you has to be able to take care of the other, he holds off on the getting drunk and turns his focus to watching you and lucia both act like fools

❧ he's never seen you drunk before so this is gonna be a fun learning experience for him, and what he learns is that the more you drink the touchier and clingier you become

❧ he also learns that it doesn't matter who you cling onto, like for a good while you were hanging off of lucia, but as soon as oswald returned into your distorted field of vision you immediately latched onto him

❧ he's a pretty shy guy when it comes to pda, less so when it's just his close friends around but his bosses are still in the room so he gets a little blushy and embarrassed at the sudden affection

❧ it's not even anything scandalous, you're just hugging him and drumming on his arm and thigh with your fingers and leaning up against him

❧ so it gets later into the evening and the more sober people decide to call it a night and get everyone into bed

❧ you and lucia are less than pleased to hear about this tho, and you insist on walking lucia back to his room so that he "gets home safe" to which kaim and oswald give and exasperated sigh but let you do anyway

❧ you reach his door and the two of you get extra pouty and have a borderline tearful and really drawn out goodbye, hugging and acting like it's gonna be forever until you see each other again

❧ oswald's off to the side watching with a mix of "are they really serious" and "aw that's kinda cute"

❧ but the goodbye is really starting to take way too long so kaim and oswald have to practically tear the two of you apart, and oswald has to distract you with a new little task: walk him back to his room now

❧ and you're like "absolutely, i gotta make sure the love of my life gets back home extra safe" but you also can't really walk without support so mans just sighs again, kneels down, and lets you onto his back for a piggy back ride which makes you even more excited

❧ so he carries you out the mansion and through the garden and finally back into his cabin

❧ once you're in he squats down a bit, expecting you to hop off now that you've reached your destination, but you just wrap your legs around him and hold on like a koala

❧ the poor man has to ask you multiple times to get down and eventually he's just like "if you don't get down, how will we get comfy and cuddle in bed?"

❧ that question gets you to let go immediately and you just kinda,, fall down onto the floor since oswald was standing upright and wasn't supporting you well, so he panics and helps you up off the floor

❧ but once you're standing you instantly start pulling off your clothes and worming your way into your pajamas with shocking speed for someone who is very intoxicated

❧ oswald just stands there watching you with bewilderment and wonder until he sees you make a wobbly beeline toward him and you start tugging at his clothes

❧ he gets the hint and changes into his pajamas as he tells you to get comfy in bed. you messily pull the covers back, mess the pillows up a bit, and then unceremoniously flop down onto the bed and wait for him to finish

❧ as he makes his way into the bed, you scramble a bit to make room and pat the spot next to you

❧ he lies down and holds his arms open, knowing that you're gonna flop down onto him, and flop you do. you land face first on him and he lets out a little grunt cuz wow that was a lot of force, and he stays still while you wiggle around to make yourself comfy

❧ you end up with most of your body on top of him with the exception of one leg that remains on the mattress, your arms are kinda curled up beneath you with your palms on his chest and your head is between your hands

❧ he's got his arms around you, holding your body to his tightly, and his cheek is pressed against the top of your head

❧ you're starting to get really sleepy so your talking shifts into slurred mumbles that are completely incoherent; the only things he can make out are his name and "i love you"

❧ he keeps holding you tight, occasionally pressing kisses to your head, until your mumbles are replaced with soft breathing and he follows you into sleep

Lucas

❧ the two of you are spending a cozy little evening alone in his home; there's no special occasion but y'all decided to cook yourselves a fancy dinner and break out some nice liquors

❧ so the two of you curl up on a little love seat in front of the fire after dinner and you help yourselves to multiple glasses of alcohol

❧ i believe that lucas has an incredibly strong tolerance, like it takes him absolutely forever to get drunk and the most he gets is just kinda tipsy, so the whole time he's pretty much just watching you get more and more wasted with a loving smile on his face like "yep, this one's mine :)"

❧ he adores how clingy you get, and since it's only the two of you in the room you can give him all of the affection you want without worrying about others

❧ however, at one point he needed to go to the bathroom so he gets up to go,, but he can't go anywhere because there's a hand holding onto his wrist

❧ he turns around and looks at you like "is there something you need??" so you just ask where he's going, and he tells you and you're like "oh ok" and you stand up too

❧ now he's the confused one; he asks why you've stood up and you respond "cuz we're going to the bathroom??" and he just laughs cuz there's no way you're serious

❧ but when he takes a step, you take one too. so he takes a few more steps and would you look at that, you're literally planning on following him into the bathroom

❧ he walks with you to the door and tells you to wait outside and you're like "ok :)" but you still try to follow him in. he tries again, but the same thing happens

❧ so he turns back down the hall until y'all are a good distance away from the bathroom, and then mans just books it

❧ and it actually works!! he's in the bathroom and he doesn't have to worry about you watching him pee!!

❧ but then he hears your confused cries and knocks from the other side of the door, and now he's thinking this whole clingy drunk thing isn't as cute as he originally thought

❧ once he's finished his business, he opens the door but he can't spot you. he hears a sniffle and looks down and there you are sitting against the wall next to the door

❧ he kneels down in front of you, worried because you're crying, but the you see him and fling yourself onto him, blabbering out how much you missed him and how could he just leave you out in the hall all cold and alone >:,(

❧ he manages to keep his balance somehow and hugs you back, consoling you gently before he picks you up to carry you back to the couch

❧ you wrap your legs around him, intent on not letting go, and he sits you both down so that you're on his lap facing him with your legs still around his waist and he's holding you close

❧ he ends up having to apologize for leaving you out in the hall lmao, but you forgive him as long as he continues to hold you and give you attention

❧ you eventually get off of his lap in favor of being able to reach the cookies on the table, so now you're curled into his side and he's feeding you cookies and making sure you take sips of water

❧ you make him tell you stories, which you frequently interrupt with little side comments and exclamations, but he tolerates it more than he would if it were anyone else

❧ he even listens to you tell your own stories which make just enough sense for him to gather a basic premise of what you're talking about

❧ after a while of that, he can tell that you're getting sleepy so he makes you do your bedtime routine, he even helps you with your skincare routine and gets you into your pajamas

❧ once everything is taken care of, he quickly gets into his pajamas and you get into bed together; y'all do the honeymoon hug cuddle position where you face one another and hug with your legs all tangled up

❧ you hold him really close to you, and he caresses the back of your head in a soothing way so that you'll fall asleep faster

❧ he continues to listen to your mumbles and slurred love confessions until you eventually go quiet and fall asleep; he stays awake a bit longer to make sure you're really out before falling asleep as well

[thedeevirus]

Nygmobblepot Ficlet; ‘The Direct Approach’

And now for a break in your holiday cheer; an angsty Nygmobblepot fic featuring Batman. Hope you all enjoy! ***

The candles flickered and Oswald felt the hairs on the back of his neck rise. On the wall in front of him loomed a foreboding silhouette.

‘Let me guess’, Oswald said, not turning around, ‘He’s not coming. You couldn’t have shown up to tell me that any sooner?’

‘Where’s Riddler?’ the dark figure asked quietly.

Oswald took a sip of whiskey to moisten his throat. Even though he and the so-called Batman had an arrangement, a truce of sorts, the vigilante remained an intimidating figure. He was grateful he had given the staff the night off. The last thing he needed was more traumatised bouncers and waiters.

‘Merry Christmas to you too’, he replied, ‘Help yourself, there’s plenty’.

Batman didn’t even seem to notice the lavish (albeit increasingly cold) feast laid out in front of Oswald as he walked into the Penguin’s line of view. Oswald avoided Batman’s hard stare and distracted himself by mentally listing the items displayed on the table; a turkey with stuffing, mashed potatoes, cranberry sauce-

‘Where. Is. Riddler?’

‘I. Heard. You. The. First. Time’, Oswald said, irritated at Batman’s theatrics, ‘He’s exactly where he promised me that he wouldn’t be, at the exact time he promised he would be here enjoying this little dinner I spent all afternoon preparing’.

He scowled at the table. Okay his personal chef had prepared it but Oswald had paid him handsomely for the privilege and he had set the table himself. Fat lot of good it had done. They had only started celebrating Christmas at Ed’s suggestion in the first place. Oswald hadn’t done it since his mother had passed years ago. She had insisted on putting up a tree every year. Despite being raised Jewish, she had loved the lights, proclaiming, ‘So twinkly! So beautiful! Like a storybook!’ Another person he loved missing from the table. Oswald’s frustration finally gave him the courage to glare at Batman directly.

‘Couldn’t you have taken one night off?!’

‘He’s taken hostages’.

‘Nobody I know’, Oswald shrugged, ‘Try again’.

 Batman’s eyes lingered on the tall ice sculpture Oswald had selected as a centrepiece for the table. The carved leaping penguin’s eyes seemed to widen under the ‘Dark Knight’s’ threatening glare and the long neck (already melting) suddenly seemed very fragile and the head very heavy. Batman’s leathery fists tightened.

 ‘Look, can we at least discuss this civilly?’ Oswald said, half rising as he understood the threat, ‘I’m sure we can come to an arrangement. ‘Tis the season of goodwill after all’.

‘What do you want?’ Batman asked, folding his arms.

‘I’ll tell you where Ed is, you get the hostages then you let him go’, Oswald said, ‘He comes here to me and you leave us alone. A Christmas amnesty’.

 ‘Not both of you’.

 ‘Then no deal’, Oswald sniffed haughtily, even as his mind raced to come up with an alternative solution, ‘I’m sure he’s sent you one of his envelopes so you’d better get deciphering. Before it’s too late’.

Batman threw something onto the table. A blackened piece of card. Oswald picked it up and could just about make out the GCPD address on it written in Ed’s handwriting. Oswald’s heart sank.

 ‘It was disguised as a Christmas bonus paycheque. Two officers are in the hospital. I can’t ignore this’.

 Oswald gritted his teeth. It was part of their deal. Oswald would not target the GCPD and Batman would turn a blind eye to some of his ‘less savoury’ activities. Oswald had made Ed promise to avoid the GCPD as well, omitting the part about Batman and instead emphasising the logic of such a position. Why attract that level of attention? Why pain a target on your back? It had taken a long conversation but Ed had finally promised Oswald that he wouldn’t target the GCPD. He had promised. Oswald dropped his gaze and inadvertently caught sight of Ed’s empty chair at the table. Just like he had promised he would never miss another dinner.

 Batman extended a hand for the card and Oswald exploded, flinging it at him.

 ‘And whose fault is that?! Up until you started lurking on rooftops, he was stable! Oh fine maybe not ‘stable’ but at least he listened to me! Kept things low key! But now beating you is all he cares about!’

 ‘I don’t have time for his games’, Batman growled dismissively.

 Oswald threw his whiskey glass at the wall. It shattered, casting crystalline fragments around like Christmas confetti. Batman did not react which only made Oswald angrier.

 ‘You think I haven’t told him that?! You and I both know there are far worse things for you to occupy yourself with now instead of Ed. Gotham was always crazy but ever since you flew back into town, it’s gotten worse than ever!’

 Oswald’s words rang throughout the Iceberg Lounge. He stiffened, realising what he had just admitted. He bit his tongue, furious that he had left his ace in the hole slip out but conscious that the only move was to keep going.

 ‘Oh, do I detect surprise beneath the mask?’ he teased with a confidence he did not feel, ‘Yes. I know who you really are. Only one person would have enough money to waste on nonsense like this. And be crazy enough to waste it on Gotham’.

 Oswald knew he was bluffing. Batman’s face (what he could see of it) had remained completely impassive. He might as well have been made of stone. Oswald knew from experience that his punches certainly felt like it.

 ‘You seem sure of your theory’, Batman said.

 The corner of his mouth had kinked. Oswald didn’t know if it was a smile or not. He also didn’t know if it was a good or bad thing.

 Oswald laughed bitterly.

 ‘Don’t worry, I know nobody will ever believe me. I’m not like Ed. I have nothing to prove and I know when I’m outgunned. Besides, if you are who I think you are, I always had a soft spot for you. We’re both orphans after all. Though we seem to have coped with that in drastically different ways’.

Batman’s ‘smile’ vanished.

 ‘You said you could keep Nygma under control’, he said, the barest hint of accusation in his tone.

 Oswald was surprised to feel shame filling the pit of his stomach at Batman’s disappointed air. He filled another glass with whiskey and knocked it back in one swig. The damned holidays always made him sentimental.

 ‘I used to be able to’, he said quietly, ‘He was taking his medication and we set time aside for date…’ He sniffed hard and chuckled. ‘Why am I even telling you this? It’s not like you care’.

‘I care about innocent people getting hurt. Maybe assuming you would too is giving you too much credit but you obviously care about Nygma. Get him to stop these games and he gets the same deal you do’.

 Oswald shook his head, looking defeated.

‘I haven’t told him about our little arrangement. He’ll never agree to help you. And he won’t stop. It’s who he is. He’s a genius. He’s the Riddler’.

‘Who hasn’t figured out you’re working with me’.

Oswald slammed the glass down, stung by the taunt. And by his own dishonesty. It wasn’t that he didn’t trust Ed! It was just…easier to be flexible. You had to be practical in this town! There were rules! At least there used to be. Oswald still had rules.

‘Only because he trusts me! I can’t betray him! I won’t!’

 Oswald bit his lip. His voice had cracked treacherously. He inhaled and exhaled slowly. He needed to regain control. Needed to maintain his dignity.

 ‘If you love him, you need to put his needs before your own. He needs help’.

 Oswald turned away. His eyes were moist. He cursed his decision to only use the table candles for illumination. He knew now how Ed could hate Batman so much. Hate him being right.

 ‘You save people’, Oswald said though gritted teeth, ‘Can you save him?’

 ‘He belongs in Arkham’.

The tone was gentler than Oswald knew he deserved but he couldn’t prevent a shuddering sigh from escaping his mouth. Hearing the same thought that had been building and building for weeks spoken aloud was jarring. Was Batman telepathic? There were stranger things in Gotham.

Oswald’s artificial eye ached. It always did when he was stressed and it and it had been getting worse. Just like Ed’s delusions had been getting worse. The obsessions, hallucinations, irritability, lack of self-care, insomnia… Oswald had found his meds in the trash that morning. Unopened for the last two weeks. Ed had sworn he had been taking them. It turned out they were both liars. Oswald looked at Batman and realised with horror that Batman was waiting for Oswald’s response. For his permission. And Oswald’s skin crawled at the relief he felt.

 ‘Is it true that y-that the Wayne Foundation has changed things there?’ Oswald asked.

 He locked eyes with Batman. Searching them. He wasn’t sure if he was looking for honesty or the opposite. He had the awful feeling he was just looking for some way out. Something to help him do what he had to. He loved Ed. He did. But he wasn’t what Ed needed right now.

 ‘Yes’.

 Oswald could endure Ed’s resentment. Even his hate. He had been on the receiving end before. He could do it again. He would do it a thousand times as long as Ed was safe. His artificial eye impossibly pulsed in its socket. He struggled to stop his eye twitching.

 ‘Do you trust the people there?’

‘Yes’.

‘And-and you promise he won’t get hurt? I know he’ll try to hurt you but he’s not a fighter and you know that so please don’t-‘

 Batman held up a gloved hand. Oswald blinked hard as the metallic knuckles on the material caught the light.

‘I promise I won’t hurt him’, Batman said.

 Oswald was startled to find he believed it. And heartbroken that he could believe that more than anything Ed had said recently.

He sat back down in his chair, both hands clasped around his now empty glass.

‘He’s hiding in the old Gotham Gazette office in The Narrows’, Oswald said robotically, ‘There are tripwires at the entrance and the vents are mined but the passcode to his bunker is 1690. Apparently, it’s when the first issue of Publick Occurrences was published‘.

 Batman lifted his arm and began to input what Oswald assumed were coordinates into a hidden compartment in the suit. There was an affirmative beep. To Oswald it sounded like a death knell. He leant down hard on his knees. They were shaking.

‘He’ll know you told me’, Batman said.

 Oswald sneered at the subtle concern in Batman’s voice. Oh now he cared?! How touching. Nobody else did.

‘How? You going to tell him?’

‘No’.

‘Then he’ll just assume you figured it out’, Oswald shrugged savagely, ‘He always says you’re the world’s greatest detective. High praise. Though I’m sure some of those fancy toys give you an edge’.

‘He doesn’t share your theory about who I really am?’

 ‘The answer’s too obvious for him to accept. The one time I told him about it, he thought I was making a joke at his expense. Now get out of here. He gets antsy when he thinks he’s being ignored and I have a mess to clean up’.

 Oswald turned away, signalling that the exchange was over. He leant his elbows on the table, feeling tired and drained.

‘I’ll arrange visitation rights for you’.

 ‘I’m sure you’ll come up with some way for me to return the favour’, Oswald snarled, ‘Now for the last time, get out’.

 Why couldn’t Batman just leave him alone?! What else did he expect Oswald to do?! Wasn’t Ed enough for him?! The only person Oswald cared about?! Did he want him gift wrapped?!

 ‘No need. I know how it feels to miss someone on Christmas’.

 Oswald did not reply and he did not try to catch Batman leaving as he usually did. There was no point.

 The sympathy in Batman’s words should have infuriated him. Batman’s audacity should have had him reaching for the umbrella gun concealed beneath the table. He should have been wondering if his theory about the vigilante’s true identity was indeed correct. 

But he was just too damn tired.

He wanted another drink. He wanted to go to bed and just pass out. He wanted to have never made the stupid dinner in the first place. He wanted Ed. The Ed he loved back.  He needed him here. With him.

 But he had never gotten what he wanted for Christmas.

[riddle-me-ri]

I just saw requests were opened and I had to come by 🥳 since it is the month of November I would like to ask how are the ozzies handling NNN 👀

A/N: Asdfgh ahhhh well had to get this done before November ends lmao. I thought about this request with my colony the minute it hit my inbox lmao

How the Penguins Handle NNN 

Trigger Warnings: for those that don’t know, NNN is No Nut November, nothing explicit but definitely suggestive in case that makes you uncomfy.

So first things first, I have no idea why but I feel like I ought to say this. But I feel like normally most of the Penguins would fare pretty well. One because they're fueled mostly on loathing and pure spite (which love that for them) and two because they don't have someone to constantly tease them and tip them over the edge and as rough cut as some of these Penguins are they all have their own set of disciplines they stay strong too. 

Basically I have thought about this way too hard and for too long just ignore me.

Also each Pengy has a rating out of 10 for how well they'd do. 

1 being didn't even try, lost back in October and through all of November.

10 being MVP man's has mad discipline but once it hits December 1st pengy will pounce.

Arkhamverse Penguin (7 out of 10): 

This Penguin is fairly preoccupied. Running an underground criminal empire requires a lot of attention. There’s always something going on in Bludhaven. He has to check on imports and exports, keeping track of his henchmen, keeping constant eye out for Batman. 

In fact, you’re so aware of how busy he is, you don’t even find it in you to tease him like you planned. Maybe a lingering touch here and there but nothing to provocative. 

However, it's easy for things to get…frustrating. For him to have a lot of pent up anger and you're the best stress relief before he absolutely explodes. 

"C'mere love, I need you…"

You remind him of the challenge. 

"What? Love, I could care less about some silly challenge. I'm asking you nicely, don't make me get rough with ya.." 

Farrell/Reevesverse Penguin (11 out of 10): 

Now, this Oswald will absolutely rock the shit out of this. 

He sees a challenge and he seeks to overcome it regardless of the stakes. This man has never come up short on any obstacle that’s come his way, what’s a fun little game of who has the weakest resolve? 

He’s also one of the few that would actively be trying to knock you off your game too. He’s a shameless flirt as is, but expect him to notch it up to 100 at this point. 

“Aww, don’t get mad sweetheart…don’t hate the player, hate the game. But you gotta admit the reward will be worth it.” He winked. 

Gotham Penguin (7.5 out of 10): 

I’m not going to lie…I had the hardest time thinking of a rating and scenario for this Oswald, because I feel like…agh

He’ll definitely be a difficult nut to crack (pun…probably intended). I mean he’s known for being the biggest moonlighter of Fish and Maroni, he can be extremely disciplined and determined to see the light at the end of the tunnel to power through the month. 

However, he’s also prone to stress and pressures constantly building up inside of him. He will hold out until about the last week of the month. Something happens, the straw broke the camel’s back and he needs you. 

You are a strong comfort for him, he doesn’t have to be The Penguin, The Mayor, The King of Gotham…none of those things, he can just be Oswald. The way you caress him, hold him, love him…

“I don’t care…the…fun of it is gone...I just really need you, please.”

Yeah, he gets closer than a few of these Oswald’s to winning, but honestly, when he’s got you he’s already won.

BTAS Penguin (10 out of 10):

Ah, the true gentleman. 

This Oswald may struggle a wee bit here and there. Especially with you teasing him, constantly at every turn. Face flushed red, absolutely biting a hole in his lower lip, almost ripping his hair out.

However, mind you this one is a true gentleman first and he can and will continue to show restraint. Any time he wishes to absolutely ravish you, he spoils you instead. He’ll almost make you feel bad for being such a tease, because he flips it and acts so sweet in return.

“Ah, ha, yes I see. As much as the feeling is mutual, there is a greater achievement to be had! But don’t be fooled, dove. I won’t forget your…advances.” 

TNBA Penguin (9.8 out of 10): 

This Penguin isn't much different from BTAS Penguin and Reevesverse Penguin. 

He sees a challenge with you and he accepts it, especially if the reward is you at the end of it. 

Oswald notices you teasing him from time to time. Trying to get him to bend, sometimes he's almost at the breaking point but you pull back. 

He warns you, teasingly so not to keep pushing or he may push back. 

“Thin ice, darling, thin ice…win or lose I always get what I desire.”

Telltale Penguin (7 out of 10): 

This proud prick. 

He’d talk a big game for sure, saying that he’s passed the month before with flying colors. Although, you know why that is…you weren’t there. He was distracted with his plans to take everything away with the Wayne name attached to it…well, not anymore. 

Oz will put up an air-tight resolve for a good few weeks of the month. You haven’t quite laid the flirting down thick, not yet. There’s a method to it. 

A lingering touch on his shoulder, a peck at night on his jaw line around the middle of the month. But then near the end, like the last week; you’ll accidentally forget your change of clothes for after your shower. 

Much like other Penguins, he has his frustrations, but instead of it being outside sources, this is purely pent-up aggravation from not being able to touch you for long periods of time. 

“I gotta say, love. I’m damn near at my breaking point here…not sure if that’s a good or bad thing for you.” Oz growled.

One Bad Day Penguin (10 out of 10): 

Aww, this is cute. He thought.

If you’ve read the comic, you know this man is determined and resilient. But he also knows how to play the game. Whether it’s a turf war or who gives in to their unadulterated desires first…he knows what cards to play and how to play them. 

You best believe he’s an active player too. 

He’ll tease you first, if you don’t. He’s not afraid to make the first move, especially if it means throwing you off. 

Oswald will pull you to his lap. He’ll teasingly squeeze your sides and thighs.

When you look back at him with a certain displeased look. 

He grins and winks. “Don’t look at me like that, you know I play to win, babe.”

The Batman (2004) Penguin (-100 out of 10):

Listen, listen, this little gremlin has little to no self preservation whatsoever. He’s also arguably one of the most unhinged members of my colony.

Ozzy would talk such a big game about being a winner, how he'd sail through this month.

But you literally don't have to do anything and he'd bust.

You don't even have to tease him. You could literally just be wearing shorts one morning or an oversized t-shirt and underwear and he'd pounce. 

He sees what he wants and he gets what he wants.

"What? Ahh come on, who needs to win some stupid challenge? I wanna be with ya!"

Batman Unlimited Penguin (7.5 out of 10): 

The main thing that makes this pengy rank so high is cause of his age. He’s subjectively the oldest out of most of my colony members. (I believe he’s meant to be like late 50’s early 60’s, I could be wrong, but the grey in his hair and wrinkles are telling me otherwise rip)

I genuinely believe you have to initiate most of the intimacy in your relationship. 

Not that Oswald won’t try, but the man literally doesn’t know how to. He’s seen things in film, television, and literature. However he also knows he’s not conventionally as attractive as the leads in those medias, and he’s certain if he attempted anything like he saw, he would find a way to ruin it.

Much like the other pengys, he’s been cruelly shunned by humanity, but he’s lived with it cemented in his brain for longer (considering the age thing, again). To say this man is emotionally stunted would be an understatement. He still isn’t used to you giving him compliments or how you honestly enjoy kissing him. 

However, on the different side of the same coin…do to not being…errm…well practiced. He’s also likely to fall apart soon enough. Giving him enough touches and kisses the man will combust. 

“Hmm…I’ve never felt anything like this in a long time. I don’t think I could ever give it up,” he chuckled breathlessly. “Even just for thirty days.”

[roguish-gallery]

Could we have random hc’s about Bane? There’s never enough Bane content in the fandom! Maybe something about how he interacts with the other rogues?

It’s been a while since I’ve taken a crack at writing for all of the Rogues, so this was a lot of fun to do! Thank you, anon! And of COURSE as a Bane stan I love to write literally anything about him!

Bane + Interactions with Other Rogues!

Catwoman:

He doesn’t appreciate how often she’ll team up with Batman (let’s be honest he’s just really jealous that she’s better at getting a rise out of Bruce than he is) but he doesn’t outright hate her. In all honesty, he begrudgingly respects Selina, and he’ll admit that she’s very clever.

Selina doesn’t have a particularly high opinion on Bane, but she doesn’t do anything to get in his way. She likes that he goes out of his way to look out for disenfranchised kids who live in Gotham.

Harley Quinn:

Every time they’re near each other, Harley asks him to flex. Or if she can wear his mask. Or if she can touch his hairy arms. Bane doesn’t get it... But... okay. He’s told her no multiple times but she doesn’t listen so now he just kind of accepts it. 

She has a Zest for Life that Bane wishes he had more of.

Joker:

Gringo. Estupido. Pendejo. Puta. Bobo. Te odio... y voy a destruirte.

Joker pissed in Bane’s Venom tank once and it almost fucking killed him. he can’t stand that fucking twink.

Killer Croc:

They spot each other at the gym in Blackgate, but Waylon still hasn’t quite gotten over Bane beating the absolute shit out of him when they first met, and Bane can’t fault him for that.

Mad Hatter:

He is a little man. A little man who perhaps has too much time on his hands. But. But! He is very nice and he insists that Bane takes a tray of cookies back with him anytime they meet up to plot crimes. 

Jerv also affectionately calls him the Gryphon and Bane kinda likes it.

Mr. Freeze:

They acknowledge each other but they don’t typically interact asdasjlkfjldk.

Vic prefers to work alone and his suit gives him enhanced strength so he doesn’t feel the need to seek Bane out. Likewise, Bane doesn’t like the cold and it fucks with his Venom so he doesn’t see a point in working with Vic.

Penguin:

YALL I WANT THEM TO BE FRIENDS SO BAAAAD BUT THEY CAN’T FUCKING STAND EACH OTHER IN THE COMICS IT’S LITERALLY BEEF ON SIGHT EVERY FUCKING TIME. BANE LITERALLY JUST MANHANDLES OZ LIKE THE PETTY BITCH HE IS. PICKS HIM UP LIKE A KITTEN. Oz at least acknowledges that Bane has Milk tho so that’s something I guess.

If you want an example where they actually get along really well, PLEASE watch Mystery of the Batwoman. They r cute :)

Whenever **I** write them, I like to think that there’s some amount of respect between each other. Like Oswald just says “Oh this guy is MUCH bigger than I am and literally just as intelligent so I’m not going to fuck with him.” and Bane leaves him to do his thing. Sometimes Oz hires him for occasional jobs, and they go out to the opera together for a fun time.

Poison Ivy:

Bane admires her drive and her intelligence so knows better than to underestimate Pam, but he’s not... particularly passionate about the environment (he’s passive, slightly sympathetic at best) and unlike most people he’s actually not afraid to admit that around her. That understandably doesn’t sit well with Pam, and back when Bane did Venom, Pam would steal some of his supply to experiment with on her plants. He didn’t appreciate that. 

The two usually try to not engage with each other but they might, they MIGHT, be willing to put their shit aside and team up with other for schemes.

Riddler:

Already answered! Done aaaaaand done!

Scarecrow:

THEY GENUINELY LIKE EACH OTHER!!!! BRAIN AND BRAWN!!! Bane points at Jonathan and he’s like “YOU. You get it.” and Jonathan points back like “You’re alright with me.” 

They like to get together and talk about chemicals, academia, and physically and mentally breaking Batman. Jonathan thinks it was extremely cool and extremely sexy when Bane snapped Batman’s spine and Bane offers to spot Jonathan so he can follow suit. (Jon has yet to take him up on this offer though)

Also. this.

Two-Face:

They aren’t like... Close... And they’ll probably just piss each other off if they ever hung around each other for long enough but Bane generally doesn’t have any beef with him. They would buy each other a drink at a bar and that’s basically the extent of their relationahip.

Honestly, Bane is pretty fascinated with Harvey’s past with Bruce, but it’s extremely hard for anyone to get Harv to talk about his old life.

[reigningmonarch42]

Short story for @small-fortunes' #weekly writer's prompt ! This was alot of fun to do and when I started I couldn't stop- I apologise if it goes off the rails slightly I haven't practiced in a while!

They stood there, facing each other down from across the room amidst a cacophony of noise.

Ed’s mind was crumbling. It was crumbling as he was desperately trying to pick up the fragments, to understand. The delicate and complex machinery of his brain had failed. He knew it would happen one day, one day he wouldn’t understand.

But that day had come earlier than he had expected. But that’s the irony of it; It had failed because he couldn't comprehend his current situation. It wasn’t predictable. His greatest ally had failed.

His mind had now blurred into one white slab as he shakily fell to his knees. He felt Oswald’s demeaning gaze piercing his head.

“I have a riddle for you, Ed.”

No! No more riddles Oswald please he pleaded silently, his ears ringing as an explosion crumbled the building next to them.

“A nightmare for some. For others, a saviour I come.”

Colourful lights flashed past Ed’s closed eyelids as Oswald began limping closer, clutching his cane.

“My hand’s cold and bleak. It’s the warm hearts they seek.”

Oswald hobbled closer as Ed knelt on the floor, hands protectively over his head. He savoured seeing Ed in such a weak, vulnerable position.

“What’s the answer, riddler?” He mocked, eyes pointed.

Ed didn’t answer. He was still trying to piece his mind back together. Whatever Oswald had done to it, whatever he had done, he would fix it. He would.

Oswald was getting impatient.

“Answer me!” he yelled threateningly, raising his cane and striking his face aggressively.

Ed flinched as blood trickled from his now bruised cheek. What had put them in this situation? How had it turned out like this? He tried to rewind his mind back, to find the missing information, but it was corrupted. The tape had burnt out and broke.

“I-I don’t know” Ed muttered, his voice cracking as he weakly looked up to Oswald. 

His brain felt like it had been pulled apart and that a toddler was attempting to fit it back together; like some cheap, colourful puzzle to challenge the child’s mental capacity. 

That’s all it was now.

Oswald smirked approvingly, crouching down so that his eyes were level with Ed’s.

“What was that?” 

He sneered, making an ‘i can’t hear you gesture’ with his hand.

Ed’s eyes dimmed as the last of his reputation was pulled from him. He feebly looked up at Oswald, his gaze focusing in an out at random.

“I don’t know!” 

He sobbed, his bones shaking as he fell into a heap.

Oswald laughed heartily. It was a horrible, maniacal laugh that made Ed’s eyes sink into their skull. Oswald suddenly took hold of Ed’s suit and shook it violently, making Ed look into his eyes. 

“Look at me” he spat

“Look at me and see how you have failed. How, because of me, your whole life has begun falling around you. Look at me and see fear. You have nothing, Edward Nygma. Not me, not Gotham, not even your own Mind.”

Ed sobbed harder. “What did you do…”

Oswald laughed again as Ed heard a click as he drew a pistol. He loaded it and pressed it into the side of Ed’s head.

“Look around you, Ed. Look out the windows. Look properly.”

Ed slowly turned his head to look. It was Gotham. In ruins.

“This is my fault, Ed. I did this! I bet you hate me now, don’t you?” Oswald shook him violently again.

Ed didn’t respond, he just stared solemnly at Oswald. There was a pause as Ed closed his eyes, wishing this wasn’t real.

Oswald smiled and rested his finger on the trigger of the gun.

“The answer was death, Edward. Ha! Couldn’t even answer his own riddle. So this is what I've reduced you to, Hm? Well, not to gloat but i think i’ve done a pretty good job myself” He smiled gleefully and gave himself a mental pat on the back.

“Look at you! Wow, the great Riddler, no longer safe in his own body! Your own Mind hates you!” He tilted his head to the side “Well, I might as well put you out of your misery. You’re ruining the mood” He frowned. 

“Oh, also, the answer was death!” He chuckled and pulled the trigger.

Ed’s pupils dilated as he realised what was happening. He welcomed it. His world was no more. He had nothing left.

He heard the click of the pistol and felt a sharp pain. He felt his conscious splattered against the floors and walls of Gotham. He felt his mind obliterated, and he felt the cold. The cold was the worst of it. The endless cold that never stopped. 

It crept over his whole being, inside and out. It grasped him and held him tightly.

It suffocated him, and his mouth constantly gasped for freedom. But it never came.

No. What?

That’s wrong. Is it?

How did this happen? You know.

What happened…? You know!

No, he wouldn’t do this. Would he?

This is wrong. It’s completely correct!

No. Yes! 

Ed’s mouth finally gasped the freedom and warmth that he had searched for, as he was plunged upright through the cold waters of death suddenly. His pupils were small and his gaze shook as his eyes adjusted to the sudden light. He coughed dryly and wheezed for air.

“Ed..?”

 He flinched as he heard that voice, and slowly turned his head to see Oswald looking at him, confused.

“What happened, you look like you’ve seen Fish Mooney’s ghost”

He chuckled lightly and reached over to hold Ed’s shoulder reassuringly. Ed flinched away from his touch, and raised his hands defensively. He took a sharp breath in as he realised he was covered in a cold sweat.

“N-no leave me alone, I know what you did! I saw you!”

He began muttering inaudibly, his eyes growing wide as he sat face to face with the person who had just killed him.

Oswald frowned and shook his head gently.

“Ed… I don’t know what happened, but it wasn’t real… it was just a nightmare”

Ed didn’t seem convinced.

Oswald slowly raised his hand and cupped Edward’s cheeks gently. Oswald’s touch was warm, and Ed melted into it, slowly warming up.

It was enough to reassure him, and suddenly he felt a heavy stone in his stomach. He hadn’t trusted Oswald, of all people!

“I’m sorry Oswald… I didn’t mean it, I don’t know what came over me…” 

He rested his head on Oswald’s shoulder as Oswald smiled and embraced him. It was just a dream. That was all. Oswald wouldn’t do that… He smiled as he realised the truth, and relaxed into Oswald’s touch.

“Hey, Ed?” He queried softly.

“Mmm?” Hummed Ed, closing his eyes.

“I have a riddle for you.”

The ending is left open for interpretation!

[finniestoncrane]

i saw that your requests were open and i was wondering if you could possibly write gotham riddlebird where ed is spanked for being a little shit 👉👈 imo there simply aren't enough fics of that lmao

precious! i absolutely can because spanking is my most favouritest, so enjoy my complete disregard for canon and lust for these bbs so i hope this lil drabble is ok!! also thanks @ihavenosoul12 for discussing the necessary use of terms that really hype up Ed's obvious authority figure kink

Delicious Punishment, Nygmobblepot, word count: 543 request info • prompt list • send me a request • kofi minors DNI!! 🔞 cw for nsfw stuff

Ed was balanced, toes pressed down to the floor, over Oswald’s lap. His face, trying in vain to hide how eagerly he awaited the punishment to begin, was facing the floor, a wide smile spread across it, wrinkled at the corners of his mouth.

“Sometimes I think you behave like this in order to rile me up, Edward.”

Oswald slid two fingers under the band of Ed’s trousers and underwear, slowly slipping them down bast his rear, Ed lifting himself lightly to make it easier.

“As though you enjoy being punished for your actions. Because despite your status in my personal opinion, appearances must be kept.”

With Ed’s cheeks exposed, he removed the velvet and leather glove from his right hand, taking off the gemmed cufflink and rolling the pristine and crisp white sleeve of his shirt up to his elbow. He was making a show of it, an attempt to draw the suspense out. He soothed his palm along Edward’s cheeks, three circular motions on each one, as Ed’s body twitched on his lap, his long legs spread awkwardly on the floor behind him.

“So, do you have anything to say?”

“That would be nonsensical, don’t you think? To purposefully irritate someone, a friend no less, for personal gain?”

Oswald brought his hand down hard, his temper flaring up at Ed’s feigned ignorance at the manipulative way he encouraged the punishment. It was obvious to Oswald that there was a benefit for this in him, he had all the evidence. And that evidence was currently hardening in Ed’s trousers and pressing into Oswald’s thighs.

Knowing Ed’s predisposition to desire an authority figure, Oswald drew his hand back and delighted in his subordinate’s breath, hitching with anticipation for the hand to fall back down against him, delightful sting following. Sensing disappointment, he spoke.

“I feel an apology is in order, Edward, my friend.”

“I’m sorry?”

“You’re sorry, what?”

“I’m sorry…sir….Mister Penguin?”

The questioning tones were sweet, providing Oz his own satisfaction, a feeling of absolute power over the man on his lap. He brought his hand down again, flat against the cool and tight flesh, repeating the actions and caressing between slaps. He delighted in the submission in his friend, the quivering desire that fell upon his skin in goosebumps, hair raised. He could feel himself, his own body responding in kind.

Ed flinched, a small moan exiting his throat, dripping over his lips in pleasure and gratitude, as he felt Oswald’s cock stiffening into his stomach. He wriggled, biting down on his lips as Oswald’s palm made flat impact with him again, fingers digging into Ed’s ass when the contact was made, lips pursed and stifling an illicit groan.

“Can you promise to behave now, Edward?”

Edward only moaned lightly, his body squirming, ass raised and wiggling, desperate for Oswald’s touch.

“No more puzzles, Ed.”

“No more, sir.”

“No more riddles.”

“No, sir.”

“No more subtle hints at what you want. You are to be direct.”

Oswald’s hand made contact once more with Ed’s skin, cracking and tingling his hand at the impact. He withdrew it, admiring his work, a red blotch, lightly raised, formed on Ed’s willing flesh.

“So, my friend. What is it that you want?”

“Keep going, please...sir.”