#also oswald's face is cracking me up

[aceinthefreakinspace]

Ace, aro and aspec flags but colorpicked from nygmobs because regardless of how you hc them, they fit the color schemes perfectly

[cartoon-buffoon]

(Uh just in case) TW: Suicide & Guns

Problem with drawing this was HET's posing since it's supposed to be him reaching over Oswald to grab the gun, now this would be fine if not for both characters obviously having black bodies so you can see I kinda went crazy with the white outlines. Also for the hole on the side of Euthenasia's head: it annoys me how in WI the gun misfires and it blows out his eye, the problem is at that angle it has NO SHOT (heh, shot) of hitting his eye so I always imagined it just went in through his skull and ricocheted out his socket

Oh and here's a short little story/exchange between the two that's related to this drawing for my AU of HET & Euthenasia if you care and wanna read it that is ↓ (warning: lots of vulgarity & of course suicide being the main focus)

Euthenasia trembled and stared down the skull faced feline who had a firm grip on his gun "let it go Felix, I can't miss again" he exclaimed, finger still on the trigger "there's only one bullet left in the chamber"

Het ignored the buck's commands and spoke calmly in his raspy voice "Oz, put the gun down before you hurt yourself"

"haha! No shit Sherlock! That's the FUCKING point!" Euthenasia grit his teeth and clicked the hammer back "GET LOST AND LET ME DO THIS!"

Het tightened his grasp on the gun, ready to divert the barrel elsewhere if Euthenasia tried anything "listen, you unloaded 5 bullets into my skull!" He tapped the side of his head and pointed at the cracks the rabbit gave him "now I don't care really, I've been hurt far worse than some silly little bullets, but if you miss your shot you're gonna blow out your other eye, now put it down because I really don't wanna wear a vest reading 'seeing eye cat' for the rest of my fucking life"

"I won't miss if you just let go!"

"If I gotta live in this shit hole so do you! I know life ain't fair yet you just can't fuck off and die because of it!" Het hissed.

"oh you're a comedian now! Ain'tcha!? A real funny man! Because I find it so funny you constantly say I would be better off dead, but here you are! The one trying to stop me!" Euthenasia used his other hand to wave it in Het's face "the walking contradiction! Which is it now? Huh? Should I pull the trigger or not!?"

"...." Het stayed silent, his skull showing no emotion other than a permanent smile plastered onto it.

"oh! Does the kitty cat not have a smartass remark this time around!?" Euthenasia took a step closer to the cat his hand holding the gun making the entire thing shake like a blender "what's next from the hypocrite? Why don't you start to babble on your psychopathic bullshit hmm? See if that'll convince me not to do it! Heck maybe if you're lucky instead of dying I'll start seeing things from your fucked up point of view! I bet you'd like that, huh?"

If Het could scowl, this would be the moment he would of "Alright prick, stop attacking me and focus on yourself" Het spun Euthanasia around and made him gaze at his own reflection "Look in the mirror for a second...do you think Ortensia would wanna see you like this?"

Oswald glared up at the cat who was still holding the barrel of his gun and being the one thing stopping him. Slowly lowering his gaze his eyes fell onto the mirror in front of him. The dim light in the room obscured most of the surroundings yet he could still see his clear as day his broken visage. Gun pressed to his head, mouth stuck in a crooked smirk, eye spasming out and twitching, even his empty socket was leaking a trail of bloody tears that stained his white fur. Instead of his own appearance being the thing that snapped him out of it, it wasn't—rather the image of Het's face. Several cracks running across the feline's skull caused by bullets bouncing off it was what made Euthenasia snap out of his rage induced haze and finally come to his senses.

Euthenasia's grip slowly faltered on the gun as his eye was fixed on the mirror "oh god..."

"well looks like me being a pain your ass actually helped for once, ain't that neat?" Once Euthenasia let go, Het released the firearm and let it clatter to the ground "heh, you know it's bad when I'm the voice of reason here"

Euthenasia turned around and faced Het, seeing what he did even more clearly "I'm sorry... I'm so sorry"

"what for?" Het noticed the buck staring at the cracks across his skull "oh yeah, well that's what bullets do after all, I'm just thankful I'm such a hardhead otherwise they would of probably done a lot worse" Het knocked on his dome trying to lighten the mood

Euthenasia didn't say a word and wrapped his arms around Het and brought him into a hug. Het tensed up at the touch although after hearing some quiet sobs come from the rabbit he slowly leaned into it. The cat was unsure on what to do with his hands, apart of him wanted to hug back yet everything else told him otherwise, eventually he just rested his arms to the side and let out a sigh.

"a thank you would of worked just as fine"

Oswald remained quiet and tightened the hug, still choking down sobs.

"... Your welcome, Ozzie... you're welcome"

[memekeymouse]

Do you think Mickey and Minnie trust enough Oswald and Ortensia enough to reveal that they're married?

Loudly cracks my knuckles

Oh boy. Oh buddy. Let me tell you about the trust issues going on with these four in the toon meta.

First you have Oswald. Obviously he has no love for Mickey at first, blaming him for stealing his fame away. Obviously, he doesn’t actually know Mickey (how could he when they’ve never even talked to each other???) but he’s convinced he’s a spoiled, pretentious asshole who’s putting up a show at all times. Again, fame and attention are everything for Toons, so Mickey ‘stealing’ Oswald’s fame is a pretty big deal. He also has no love for Minnie, seeing her as Ortensia’s replacement which he doesn’t appreciate either.

Ortensia, on the other hand, doesn’t hate Mickey or Minnie. In fact, she feels sorry for them; she knows how terrible it must be to be another Toon’s replacement - she replaced Fanny, after all. And it wasn’t something she ever asked for or felt proud of, so she can imagine they would feel the same way about replacing them if they knew. She can’t really blame Oswald for being bitter about being replaced, but she doesn’t approve of him putting all the blame on the mice either.

Minnie…oh, there is so much with Minnie I wanna talk about. To me, she’s always had the fear of being replaced and forgotten as if she never mattered in the first place - since that’s the fate of most Love Interests. This fear actually put a lot of strain between her and Mickey before they got actually together in their early years, but even after it became obvious that she’d become too iconic to be replaced, that fear never went away. And meeting Oswald and Ortensia? Finding out that she and Mickey had replaced them only brings all those fears back like a punch to the gut. She’s terrified of them, at first; she fears they’ll take their places back and leave them to be forgotten, and what can she do if that’s technically the fair thing to do? She feels selfish for it but…no Toon wants to be forgotten.

And Mickey.

Oh, Mickey.

When he found out about Oswald, he felt so many things and had so many questions. In the end, he assumed that clearly something had kept Walt from claiming him back all these years, because otherwise he would’ve done anything to win him back, right? It’s Mickey’s idea for him and Minnie to meet Oswald and Ortensia and talk things out, see how they can get them back in Disney where they belong (he knows about Minnie’s fear and tells her she doesn’t have to come, but she insists anyways. He doesn’t blame her, because he’s upset about replacing Oswald too but at the same time he just really wants his brother to come home and that hope is stronger than the fear).

It’s. A disaster.

Oswald thinks Mickey is just rubbing his fame in his face and patronizing him, so he’s openly hostile to him. And then he tells him the devastating truth: even if Walt did lose Oswald to Mintz, he gave up on him altogether once Mickey proved his worth. And that’s a thing that happened in real life: Mintz tried to get Walt back into Universal by promising him Oswald, and Walt not only refused but said Oswald ‘disgusted’ him and that Mintz could keep him for all he cared.

And that

absolutely crushes Mickey and Minnie

Remember what I might’ve mentioned before about Mickey seeing Walt as a father figure at one point and then stopping? This was that point. Realizing that, if things had gone differently, Walt could’ve replaced them as easily as he did Oswald and Ortensia. That they weren’t family or even friends: Walt was the boss and Mickey was the Toon that brought him money and fame and that was it. It was all strictly business.

They don’t speak for years after that, not until Disney actually gets Oswald back. Obviously no progress was made between those years so being back in Disney doesn’t magically fix everything between them; long story short, Oswald still blames Mickey for stealing his fame and Mickey, guilty as he may feel, is fed up with trying to meet Oswald halfway when he won’t even try and do the same. Of constantly being judged by people who don’t even want to know him, brother or not.

They do eventually sit and talk things out but….it’s awful at first. Oswald hates Mickey and Mickey resents Oswald and Minnie wants to strangle Oswald and Ortensia is so so tired and everyone is miserable!!!!

Soooooooooo to answer the question this whole ask was originally about……no, the mice don’t trust Oswald and Ortensia with that knowledge until they sort things out muuuuuuuuch later

[imjustforthefandoms]

TWSTOBER DAY 12 PART 2

With Oswald in a uniform and a brief explanation on his task, Azul had sent him off to work. His side of the bet lied in the hands of Jade. Jade was efficient, he could easily clear out more tables than anyone else. But he couldn't leave it all to chance; he moved some of his papers into the lounge, taking a table in the corner of the room. He could keep an eye on things without causing too much of a stir. As the hours passed, Jade was excellent as always. Easily flitting from table to table. Smiles all around as he wrote down orders and delivered drinks. Everything was going according to plan. Now just what was Oswald up to?

Azul almost choked on his drink as he looked over at Oswald section. He was moving from table to table like it was a dance. He was conversing with tables, the customers were laughing, and yet he wasted no time when it came to their food. The food didn't sit on the counter more then a minute before he brought it to the tables. Azul would have been impressed if he wasn't at such a risk. Even when a table has gotten up to leave, Oswald had the dishes gathered and brought back to the kitchen without missing a beat. Just how was he doing it?!

“Yo, Azul.” he jumped at the voice before turning to face Floyd, looking at him with a bored expression. “We have a problem. No one wants to sit.” Azul looked up at him with a confused expression, fixing his glasses.

“What do you mean no one wants to sit?” Azul looks over at Jade’s' section. There were only three tables occupied. “Jade has a lot of room open in his section. Why can't they sit there?”

“They don't want Jade.” Floyd replied dully. “Everyone's waiting to sit with Silverfish.” Silverfish?…Oswald. Azul let out a sigh, standing up from his sit before plastering on a smile.

“Let me talk with our guests.” He moved to the front of the lounge. There was a rather large crowd in front of the seating counter, the student sitting there watching Oswald's section with a curious eye. “Bea.” Azul's tone was a sharp as a knife, quickly drawing the attention of the Octavinelle student. “Why do you have all of these lovely guests standing here?” Bea spoke with a shaky tone.

“I tried. But they all want to sit in Oswald's section” Bea explained. Azul looked over the crowd, there must have been a dozen people. If all of them went to Oswald's section…he let out a sigh under his breath.

“Beloved patrons,” Azul announced as he turned to the crowd." I assure you there is no difference when it comes to my servers. No matter who you are tended by, I promise you only the most excellent experiences.” A couple of murmurs came from the crowd, but no visible movements. Azul bit his tongue behind his teeth. When all else falls, bring out a loss leader. “I can see your aversions, but those who decide to sit in Jade's section will receive a complimentary order of our house made tortilla chips and cheese platter.” Now that got the people's attention, the crowd shifting as they started to funnel into Jade section. Azul step back into the lounge. Hopefully that flood will make up for lost time. And the money he'll lose with those chip orders. Floyd let out a chuckle as he followed Azul back to his seat.

“Wow, giving out free food? You never do that one”

“Desperate measures, Floyd. Please inform your brother about the offer so there isn't any discrepancy.” Azul replied, rubbing his temples. Three more hours. Jade just had to pull through. This would work. It just had to work.

As the night came to a close, Jade and Oswald stood by the bar, Azul holding two books in his hands as he stared at the students in front of him.

“In my hands I hold the total amounts you both made today. It also contains the notes left behind with your tips to gauge how well you've performed in terms of customer service.” He cracked open the first book. “Jade, in addition to the tips you've made today, you've sold a total of 692 madols worth of products. Some of the comments left were ‘speedy service’ and-” Azul paused, his smile faltering for a moment, reading over the note again and again before he spoke. “ And ‘good drink suggestions’.” Azul closes the book as he looks at Jade with a smile. “I wouldn't expect anything else from one of my best workers.” Jade gave a soft bow to Azul.

“I always give my best to ensure the lounge thrives.” Jade responses.

“Now then, Oswald” he open the book. “After everything you sold and your tips you made-” Azul went pale as he saw the number, his eyes wide. Oswald looked at him with a smirk.

“Come on, what's the number?” He asked. Azul covered his face with a hand.

“949 Madol…” Jade and Oswald eyes went wide as Azul spoke. "Comments being 'such a fun waiter' and 'would love to see him again'" the two waiters were silent before a smile burst onto Oswald's face.

“That means this bet is mine!” Oswald let out a chuckle, a smirk on his lips. Azul let out a sigh, he could practically feel the money leaving his bank account.

As Azul went through his records in the night he let out a groan. 158 dollars ..each one of his workers that day received an extra 158 dollars extracted right from his bank account. It didn't make sense to him. Jade is the best at what he does. He's the best of his craft. How did Oswald deliver the orders to the kitchen so fast? How did he always know when a drink was getting low, even if he was occupied with another table.

And what was that note about Jade’s sections having bugs?!

[serendertothesquad]

Seren's Studies: Odd Squad UK -- "Lift Off" Episode Followup, Part 1

Lift Off! *pump pump* Lift On! *pump pump* The Lifter!

...Wow that was a hell of an old reference.

This time around, we have "Lift Off", which is an Orli-centric episode that deals with her facing one of the biggest cultural differences she will ever have to face.

So let's lift off below the break, and hope it won't become a Failure to Lunch. (I had to drop that in somewhere.)

And your writer for this episode. Omar has a very tiny resume, only having worked on something called Piglets once before as a script associate.

...You can probably tell what my reaction is going to be from here. And you'd be right. Everyone has to start somewhere, but for my sacred Christian baby franchise, I'm not doin' amateur hour. Tons of other fish in the kids show sea, thank you.

Huh. Been a hot minute since we've seen any scuba-diving suits. I know they were last seen in Season 3, but I'm blanking on where. I think maybe "The Thrill of the Face", but I'd have to check.

...No, wait. I'm remembering Osmerelda wore hers briefly in "H2 Oh No". Never mind.

I'm sorry, let me see if I'm hearing this right.

She battled demon sharks in a huge-ass whirlpool, and only has a tinny lil' bit of seaweed on her?

I mean okay I get it. They're not going to show rips and tears, for obvious reasons. But they're FUCKING DEMON SHARKS. I've seen sharks. You've seen sharks. You and I know how sharks are, and they're basically what everyone perceives them to be whenever they read about a shark sighting.

But to imply that she didn't even get remotely injured during a battle with demon sharks, where she is sorely outnumbered, where she has another body to protect, is so fucking laughable it's killing me inside.

I'll say this now: I don't expect much advanced logic from this show. I do, however, require basic logic. If I want anything else, I'll rejoin Facebook.

Dude got off some hella crazy anesthesia, but it's the kind where you can bippity-bop and move around while still being loopy.

Either that, or Alexander just won the lottery and got one hell of a good lawyer.

Okay, so tell me about the other 59.

Tell me.

Tell me.

I got a lotta time to kill.

Tell me, coward.

Tell me.

No, no. You misheard. I said the past 59, not the 61st.

...Exactly why do they have a compo- oh. PBS. Yeah. Kinda forgot for a second there.

Is this like the Odd Squad equivalent of a magical girl detransformation? Because it feels like the Odd Squad equivalent of a magical girl detransformation.

And that includes every discussion ever had about why villains don't attack them and how much time passes and all that shit.

Clearly Asha has been spending enough time here to pick up a British accent and do it well. In the span of a year. That's impressive.

That aside, though, you remember in "Running on Empty" when Oswald spoke in a British accent twice and everyone hated it the second time around? That's what this is, only Ozzie actually finds it funny because he's high on crazy shit.

Oh. I see we've entered Odd Squad UK: Portal to Aquatic Heaven.

Is it too late to make a crack theory that Orli died during the demon shark battle and everything after the beginning of this episode is the afterlife, including this depiction of God?

...Okay. Headcanon accepted.

I was genuinely not expecting his greeting to be "Greetings, human children" and now I'm cackling because the God parallels are only becoming more intense.

(God was a human, yes. But this is the Oddverse, where we have oracles that can summon time sheep. You remember that.)

(...Yes, that also explains why he is speaking underwater and behind a wall of water.)

I'm- wait, lemme spell this right...Starlet Cleffia?

That might be too out-there of a name even by Odd Squad standards.

"Lady Calamity's the greatest singer the universe has ever seen!"

Incorrect! That would actually be Saki Fujita, the voice provider for the ever-iconic Hatsune Miku, my Lord and savior.

You can't beat an iconic piece of software that's been around for two decades, sir.

Oh well actually I don't know...I bought some Applebee's but I don't know if that qualifies as gay food or- oh wait that's not what you're saying are you.

These two conversing awkwardly with this guy is the absolute funniest shit. Speaks to my soul because this is just how I interact with people all the time.

...Hehh.

We have fucking BELLHOPS in this precinct???

I'm...awww man, I was hoping this would be a solo venture!! WHAT THE FUCK-

Ohhhh no. Ohhhhhhh no. I can already see where the fuck this is going, and it's going the route of "I go with an average-looking guy but he's really Matt Damon".

"Can I push the button?"

"Afraid not, 'cause then I'd have nothing to do."

YOU WORK IN THE FUCKING MAINTENANCE/TRANSPORTATION DEPARTMENT YOU DING-DONG. YOU CAN FIX UP HQ. BE A GREETER. WHY IN THE ACTUAL SHIT.

Odd...Odd Squad FILING Department and it's just people filing their fucking na-

*long deep sigh* This is gonna be some long shit isn't it.

Okay, I can't complain about this one because it's fitting.

However, that doesn't mean I can't get mad because it's an obvious avoidance of the Eternal Money Discussion.

Pretty sure that's not how actual lifts work, and all this is doing is confusing children who will go to Britain, use a lift, and ask why it isn't going up two floors at a time.

Absolutely sore missed opportunity for a Thomas reference.

...Or maybe this is a Thomas reference and I'm missing it.

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA "BITCH WE'RE NOT DEALING WITH YOUR PROBLEMS WE ARE DEALING WITH MY PROBLEMS".

Funniest interpretation of God yet. He's got my vote.

There were about ten planets, fifteen moons, and countless lives lost in this one scream alone.

"And why didn't you tell me this before?"

"...We're only halfway into the episode."

"The what?"

"I...never mind. Just go to the ten lift."

Either Sinking Ship's headquarters, or the Kids and Family branch of BBC Studio's headquarters.

There is no other option.

Take your pick.

Either Omar has some weird thing with sleeping the way Tim has time travel, or the crew actually saw my Seren Reacts video for "In Your Dreams" and are paying me dearly with interest.

THERE IS NO GRAY AREA.

TAKE YOUR FUCKING PICK.

(Post-editing note: I have been informed that this is not a prodco's studio, but is actually, in fact, an IKEA. Between the meatball reference in "Portalandia" and this, we've come full circle.)

Funny how I mentioned Oswald earlier and now here this redhead comes that reminds me of him.

They don't look similar, but...it's the red hair.

I'm sorry...does that say Oddington or am I fucking tripping?

Well, if they won't weaponize it in-series, then I sure as hell will in-fanfic!

(On to Part 2!)

[riddle-me-ri]

I just saw requests were opened and I had to come by 🥳 since it is the month of November I would like to ask how are the ozzies handling NNN 👀

A/N: Asdfgh ahhhh well had to get this done before November ends lmao. I thought about this request with my colony the minute it hit my inbox lmao

How the Penguins Handle NNN 

Trigger Warnings: for those that don’t know, NNN is No Nut November, nothing explicit but definitely suggestive in case that makes you uncomfy.

So first things first, I have no idea why but I feel like I ought to say this. But I feel like normally most of the Penguins would fare pretty well. One because they're fueled mostly on loathing and pure spite (which love that for them) and two because they don't have someone to constantly tease them and tip them over the edge and as rough cut as some of these Penguins are they all have their own set of disciplines they stay strong too. 

Basically I have thought about this way too hard and for too long just ignore me.

Also each Pengy has a rating out of 10 for how well they'd do. 

1 being didn't even try, lost back in October and through all of November.

10 being MVP man's has mad discipline but once it hits December 1st pengy will pounce.

Arkhamverse Penguin (7 out of 10): 

This Penguin is fairly preoccupied. Running an underground criminal empire requires a lot of attention. There’s always something going on in Bludhaven. He has to check on imports and exports, keeping track of his henchmen, keeping constant eye out for Batman. 

In fact, you’re so aware of how busy he is, you don’t even find it in you to tease him like you planned. Maybe a lingering touch here and there but nothing to provocative. 

However, it's easy for things to get…frustrating. For him to have a lot of pent up anger and you're the best stress relief before he absolutely explodes. 

"C'mere love, I need you…"

You remind him of the challenge. 

"What? Love, I could care less about some silly challenge. I'm asking you nicely, don't make me get rough with ya.." 

Farrell/Reevesverse Penguin (11 out of 10): 

Now, this Oswald will absolutely rock the shit out of this. 

He sees a challenge and he seeks to overcome it regardless of the stakes. This man has never come up short on any obstacle that’s come his way, what’s a fun little game of who has the weakest resolve? 

He’s also one of the few that would actively be trying to knock you off your game too. He’s a shameless flirt as is, but expect him to notch it up to 100 at this point. 

“Aww, don’t get mad sweetheart…don’t hate the player, hate the game. But you gotta admit the reward will be worth it.” He winked. 

Gotham Penguin (7.5 out of 10): 

I’m not going to lie…I had the hardest time thinking of a rating and scenario for this Oswald, because I feel like…agh

He’ll definitely be a difficult nut to crack (pun…probably intended). I mean he’s known for being the biggest moonlighter of Fish and Maroni, he can be extremely disciplined and determined to see the light at the end of the tunnel to power through the month. 

However, he’s also prone to stress and pressures constantly building up inside of him. He will hold out until about the last week of the month. Something happens, the straw broke the camel’s back and he needs you. 

You are a strong comfort for him, he doesn’t have to be The Penguin, The Mayor, The King of Gotham…none of those things, he can just be Oswald. The way you caress him, hold him, love him…

“I don’t care…the…fun of it is gone...I just really need you, please.”

Yeah, he gets closer than a few of these Oswald’s to winning, but honestly, when he’s got you he’s already won.

BTAS Penguin (10 out of 10):

Ah, the true gentleman. 

This Oswald may struggle a wee bit here and there. Especially with you teasing him, constantly at every turn. Face flushed red, absolutely biting a hole in his lower lip, almost ripping his hair out.

However, mind you this one is a true gentleman first and he can and will continue to show restraint. Any time he wishes to absolutely ravish you, he spoils you instead. He’ll almost make you feel bad for being such a tease, because he flips it and acts so sweet in return.

“Ah, ha, yes I see. As much as the feeling is mutual, there is a greater achievement to be had! But don’t be fooled, dove. I won’t forget your…advances.” 

TNBA Penguin (9.8 out of 10): 

This Penguin isn't much different from BTAS Penguin and Reevesverse Penguin. 

He sees a challenge with you and he accepts it, especially if the reward is you at the end of it. 

Oswald notices you teasing him from time to time. Trying to get him to bend, sometimes he's almost at the breaking point but you pull back. 

He warns you, teasingly so not to keep pushing or he may push back. 

“Thin ice, darling, thin ice…win or lose I always get what I desire.”

Telltale Penguin (7 out of 10): 

This proud prick. 

He’d talk a big game for sure, saying that he’s passed the month before with flying colors. Although, you know why that is…you weren’t there. He was distracted with his plans to take everything away with the Wayne name attached to it…well, not anymore. 

Oz will put up an air-tight resolve for a good few weeks of the month. You haven’t quite laid the flirting down thick, not yet. There’s a method to it. 

A lingering touch on his shoulder, a peck at night on his jaw line around the middle of the month. But then near the end, like the last week; you’ll accidentally forget your change of clothes for after your shower. 

Much like other Penguins, he has his frustrations, but instead of it being outside sources, this is purely pent-up aggravation from not being able to touch you for long periods of time. 

“I gotta say, love. I’m damn near at my breaking point here…not sure if that’s a good or bad thing for you.” Oz growled.

One Bad Day Penguin (10 out of 10): 

Aww, this is cute. He thought.

If you’ve read the comic, you know this man is determined and resilient. But he also knows how to play the game. Whether it’s a turf war or who gives in to their unadulterated desires first…he knows what cards to play and how to play them. 

You best believe he’s an active player too. 

He’ll tease you first, if you don’t. He’s not afraid to make the first move, especially if it means throwing you off. 

Oswald will pull you to his lap. He’ll teasingly squeeze your sides and thighs.

When you look back at him with a certain displeased look. 

He grins and winks. “Don’t look at me like that, you know I play to win, babe.”

The Batman (2004) Penguin (-100 out of 10):

Listen, listen, this little gremlin has little to no self preservation whatsoever. He’s also arguably one of the most unhinged members of my colony.

Ozzy would talk such a big game about being a winner, how he'd sail through this month.

But you literally don't have to do anything and he'd bust.

You don't even have to tease him. You could literally just be wearing shorts one morning or an oversized t-shirt and underwear and he'd pounce. 

He sees what he wants and he gets what he wants.

"What? Ahh come on, who needs to win some stupid challenge? I wanna be with ya!"

Batman Unlimited Penguin (7.5 out of 10): 

The main thing that makes this pengy rank so high is cause of his age. He’s subjectively the oldest out of most of my colony members. (I believe he’s meant to be like late 50’s early 60’s, I could be wrong, but the grey in his hair and wrinkles are telling me otherwise rip)

I genuinely believe you have to initiate most of the intimacy in your relationship. 

Not that Oswald won’t try, but the man literally doesn’t know how to. He’s seen things in film, television, and literature. However he also knows he’s not conventionally as attractive as the leads in those medias, and he’s certain if he attempted anything like he saw, he would find a way to ruin it.

Much like the other pengys, he’s been cruelly shunned by humanity, but he’s lived with it cemented in his brain for longer (considering the age thing, again). To say this man is emotionally stunted would be an understatement. He still isn’t used to you giving him compliments or how you honestly enjoy kissing him. 

However, on the different side of the same coin…do to not being…errm…well practiced. He’s also likely to fall apart soon enough. Giving him enough touches and kisses the man will combust. 

“Hmm…I’ve never felt anything like this in a long time. I don’t think I could ever give it up,” he chuckled breathlessly. “Even just for thirty days.”

[j-graysonlibrary]

Heartbeats; Paradise XIX

Title: Heartbeats; Paradise

Author: Jay Grayson

Word Count: 112K

Genres: Psychological thriller, drama, sci-fi, LGBT+

Available on: Kobo and my website

Synopsis: Melvin Hardy and Kade Axel appear to be a match made in heaven. After a meet-cute in the rain, the two quickly find themselves in a burgeoning, wholesome relationship.

Yet, things feel…off. It isn’t the ghosts of their pasts that resurface to test the strength of their partnership—no—it’s something nebulous. Something indescribable. Melvin can’t put his finger on it but, the more time he spends with Kade, the more he starts to wonder what’s real and what’s pure fiction. 

XIX:

It’s the same place!

I grab the nearest body to me which happens to be Kade. Like when Gavin and I fell through, we’re all on our assess so I know I have a moment to stop everyone before we walk into the same trap.

“Wait,” I say as the fear from my past latches back onto me. It’s evident in my voice.

“What?” Kade asks and frowns. I don’t know if he’s realized our change in scenery yet or if he’s just choosing not to acknowledge it. Knowing him, he’s figured it’s useless to mention it.

“I know this place.” I let him go and stand up.

“You do?” Starla asks, also standing. She looks around with confusion etched onto her face but she’s not noticeably perturbed.

Oz stands as well as Kade and I look to Oz who is, other than me, the most distressed by our situation. He frowns as he pokes at a nearby leaf.

“Are we in the real world then?” he asks before turning to settle his gaze on me. “You remembered this from your past, right?”

I nod. “I don’t know if this place is the real world though.”

“Where the fuck are we then?” Kade follows up with less care. He looks up as a bird flies overhead.

“I…don’t know exactly.” I gulp when I realize I’m contradicting myself. Everyone stares at me with expectance but I only have one thing to really bring to the table. “This is just where I died. Me and my husband both died here.”

Oz steps closer and grabs my shoulders. “What?” His stare is intense and, while I’m used to it, with all the other emotions coursing through me, I’m rendered speechless.

“Give him some space,” Starla suggests, “He looks like he just remembered.”

Slowly, Oswald lets me go and steps back. “Sorry…Melvin, can you talk us through what you remember?”

I give a slight nod. He and Starla continue to watch me, anticipation clear on their faces, while Kade starts to pace about and nudge the plants around us with his axe.

After I swallow the lump in my throat, I do my best to retell what happened. The most important aspects, I make sure to stress.

“Whatever that flower thing may be, it’s strong. I don’t think we stand a chance against it.” I can’t watch everyone I care about be cut down by that monster and I’d very much like to remain in one piece as well.

“I don’t see a way back,” Starla says with a sigh.

It’s true that the crack we entered through seems to have been a one-way trip but I can’t overstate how much I don’t want to run into that flower monster again.

“We can look for something together,” Oz responds and offers a fleeting smile for me.

“I can chop the forest down,” Kade suggests and swings his axe around.

Oz points at him. “No.”

He rolls his eyes but sets his axe back in its holster. Starla silently chuckles and I wish I could enjoy the moment as well but my heart still hasn’t restarted and my muscles refuse to relax.

We begin to search the area for anything suspicious. It’s much easier said than done on account of how everything here looks suspicious. I start to touch every plant I see, hoping that the exit will work like the entrance does. Maybe I’ll be sucked back and spit out wherever Kendra is if I just touch the right item.

“I hear running water,” Starla mentions after we’ve been searching for a while. She picks up a rock and inspects it before dropping it to the ground.

“I heard that last time too,” I say with a frown.

“Maybe we can find the source and follow the stream? If this is connected to civilization, we’ll find people eventually, right?”

It’s not a bad plan under regular circumstances but I don’t think, in this case, it’ll be too helpful.

“But if this is a separate reality then it might not work that way,” Oz actually says what’s on my mind.

“I don’t see why we can’t just confront this thing,” Kade mumbles and crosses his arms. “It’s a plant, you said. I’ll just chop it down.”

“And if we need it to let us out?” Oz asks.

“Then we should be seeking it out anyway.”

I don’t like either of their stances even if I feel Oz has a point. I already know how that thing reacts to intruders. I’ve clung to a sense of optimism before, sometimes ignorantly so, but this time I can’t pretend that if we just try really hard the result will be different.

“Melvin?” Starla gets my attention.

“…Yes?” I’m sure I’ve missed something with the way she and the other two look at me.

“We were wondering if we should find the flower thing and try to talk to it…?” She winces prematurely, as if she’s expecting me to yell at her.

I don’t have the strength to do that or the will. My shoulders sag and I close my eyes. “I…Gavin tried talking to it before.”

“Melvin…” Oz steps closer. He reaches out as if he’s going to grab me but he thinks better of it and lets his hands hang at his sides. “We can’t stay here forever just looking for an exit. We should be proactive.”

My stomach sinks. I’m being outvoted, like usual. “…don’t say I didn’t warn you.”

“I won’t let anything happen to you,” he responds, sounding as serious as ever but that just hurts me more.

“That’s what Gavin said too.”

No one responds right away—Starla even looks down.

“Well, we’re not Gavin,” Kade states the obvious as he stares at me, “And you’re not Liam anymore.”

I can’t tell if he’s sick of me holding everyone back or if he’s genuinely trying to make me feel better. I’m so confused by his tone and intent that I almost snap completely out of my fear induced funk.

“I…I know that,” I say.

Kade shrugs. “Then don’t let their fate dictate yours. We could have a chance—you don’t know.”

I find myself jealous of Kade in that moment. Not only do I wish I could think the way he does but I also want to have no memories of my past. They have given me a sense of self but, right now, they do nothing but harm me. I’m not even sure that the lack of a past bothers him or if he’s just creating his personality as he goes.

There’s something freeing about that.

I’m too chained to Liam to understand it.

“Fine,” I concede.

“Lead the way then,” Kade demands and gestures his hand out toward me.

Oz sighs loudly and pushes him in the arm before returning to my side. “I’ll walk with you.”

I nod and let him keep me company as I begin to walk the path of my past destruction. Each step fills my body with dread and I find every movement closer harder—heavier. My lungs strain to keep full and my heart hammers so hard it’s starting to hurt.

The clearing comes into view and I grip Oz’s wrist immediately.

That flower is still there, as I knew it would be, and it’s in a near identical position as last time. It’s lying on the ground and the roots spread out around it, a few arching up over the grass.

“That is a big ass flower,” Kade mentions as he takes it in. He and Starla had been keeping close behind us but, now that we’re where we need to be, he walks out and forward.

“Don’t provoke it,” Starla warns her brother as if she knows exactly what’s on his mind.

Kade sighs and I spot him retract his hand from the handle of his battle axe. “What do we do then?”

“Last time, it awoke at the sound of talking…” I say despite the fact that doesn’t appear to be the case anymore. Otherwise, it would already be up and, probably, trying to dismember Kade if I were to take a guess.

Oswald nods curtly and pries my hand off of him. He shoots me a soft look before walking even closer to the red bud.

I want to yell and tell him to stop but I can’t force the words out. I just reach out and wince.

“We do not mean to enter your home,” Oz says with a loud, clear voice. “I know this is no excuse but we just want a way back to where we came from. Though, preferably, we’d like to be placed into the real world. If you can…we would be most grateful.”

My eyes dart between him and the flower and I watch with a churning gut.

As soon as the flower stirs, a jolt of adrenaline runs through me but I can’t do anything with it. I have to just stand there and endure.

“Ho—ly—” Starla murmurs.

The flower rises up and displays itself the same as before. “You trespassers are back…? No…only one of you returns.”

Everyone glances over at me and, while I notice that from my peripherals, my eyes are stuck to the plant. How does it know it’s still me? I don’t look anything like Liam.

“I sense your confusion. I can simply read your energy,” the flower continues, “What brings you and even more of your kind here?”

“As I said,” Oz replies with the same tone as before. It’s amazing to me that he’s showing no signs of terror. There’s no way he’s not feeling it. “We came here by accident. We just want to leave.”

“I thought I fixed the rip in the world…”

“…Who are you…?” Starla asks, staring at the flower with awe in her eyes.

“No one of your concern,” it responds easily.

“Hey, don’t talk to my sister like that,” Kade warns and I tense even more than I thought possible.

Starla doesn’t miss a beat, however, and comes back with, “Are you the source of IVAR’s power?”

I had not even thought of that. I’m so taken aback by the connection I almost can’t feel my terror anymore. It would make sense. I was killed by this thing and then awoke as Melvin. If it was the heart of IVAR, that would explain how I ended up here when none of the memories I’ve received from Liam show me using the system.

But the flower responds in audible confusion. “Who is Ivar?”

“The system, IVAR,” Starla clarifies. “It stands for Immersive Virtual Alternate Reality. It’s where we entered from.”

“…What…?”

We all exchange glances. I guess that theory is out since the flower does not even know what we’re referring to.

“That’s a bit beside the point,” Oz brings us back to the main problem; “We just need to leave. Could you help us?”

The rumbling that emerges from the flower sends me back and I brace for impact. This time I see the vines whip up around the flower but they don’t slice anyone just yet.

“And why should I?”

“Because he asked fuckin’ nicely,” Kade antagonizes even though I mentally beg him not to.

The blur of green through the air is faster than my reaction time. I’m yelling only after it’s struck down toward Kade. I recoil, expecting a bloody mess when the vine retreats but I find Kade, perfectly fine and in one piece.

He’s…dodged it.

“Ha!” he shouts and takes the axe from his back.

“Kade, no!” I scream but he starts hacking at the roots of the monster anyway.

“Stop!” Starla begs.

Another vine whips toward him and, this time, I don’t think he’ll be able to move quickly enough. Oz still tries to run to Kade regardless and I watch as far too much happens far too fast.

I can only register what’s happened after it’s over and the images lag in my brain, shambling into place. Oz does jump over and Kade is in the midst of swinging his axe against another root. I don’t believe Oz will reach him in time but I had been assuming he was trying to shove Kade out of the way.

He didn’t.

He’s thrown himself in the way and been cut across the middle. As he falls to the ground, Kade finally realizes that we’re all trying to get him to stop.

Kade drops his axe and a second tendril follows the first—a move I don’t even see until it’s slashing him down the front.

When he falls is about the time I absorb everything I’ve seen and I cry out in agony. I knew this would happen again!

I knew I’d lose to this monster again!

Starla’s screaming mixes with mine but not for long as she’s struck down next. I close my eyes and drop to my knees, knowing I’m next.

The searing pain in my chest isn’t even surprising.

But the suddenness of it’s absence is.

My eyes flutter open and I glance down to see the green vine retreating from my torso and, in it’s wake, static and colorful squares fill my wound and I feel much better. I whip my head up and look around at the others who are all stumbling up, their injuries also glitching back together.

“You…aren’t alive?” The flower asks and the bud lowers toward the ground. “Yet you aren’t properly dead either…”

Oz checks his hands as if he’s expecting blood but he then he looks away to stare at the flower. “I guess not.”

The red blossom twitches and I expect another attack though I’m no longer as afraid of it. Instead of a second assault, the petals of the flower begin to bloom and I’m amazed by how much larger it becomes as it opens.

That light I noticed just before Liam’s death shines out but then recedes as more and more of it is revealed. In the center of the flower is a strange shape and I don’t get a good look until the light draws back to just illuminate the form.

It’s like two humanoid creatures embracing and their bodies are glowing. One stands behind the other, wrapping its arms around them and resting their head in the crook of their partner’s neck. The one in the front bears two sets of arms—one pair holds their partner while the other stretches out, slowly swaying on either side of them. The petals fan out around them and, from the being in the back, emerges six wings that vary in color but blend into the petals. Their feet rest on the snake-like stem and, at some points, the stem looks as though it might be a part of their bodies as well.

The sight renders all four of us silent.

It’s a lot to take in.

“You cannot return to the world of the living but you cannot stay here—you are not permitted.” The humanoid in the front says and I can tell because their mouth opens, releasing more light as it does so.

“We can’t go back into IVAR,” Starla counters.

“The news of this IVAR greatly troubles us…” they continue with contemplation in their voice, “If others like yourselves can reach this place through it then it must be dealt with…”

“Hey, you listening?” Kade balks.

To my surprise, they chuckle. I don’t know if it’s just because I am now faced with a more humanoid shape but I swear the flower sounds more pleasant now. I suppose it does help that they aren’t trying to kill us anymore.

“Yes. I cannot give you much but I will do this: I will bestow bodies onto you that will give you access to the larger world. In turn, you must never return here.”

“Deal,” I say without a second thought.

The light from their form starts to grow again and it gets to a point where I have to cover my eyes with my hand. There is warmth in the light and all of my fear and even my hatred for the being are washed away as it passes over me. I almost don’t remember why I ever despised this place.

But it’s gone in a flash and we’re falling into a much darker space. I hear someone let out an “oof” upon contact with the cool, hard floor. I have someone’s knee in my back and I grunt and try to sit up but Kade is over my lap.

“Guys?!” A new voice calls out and I crane my neck up and look around.

It’s still dark but there is a blue glow coming from a computer that sits on the floor a few feet away. And, beside that computer is a large woman. I can only see her outline but I know I’m not familiar with it. Despite this, with her next words, I feel I do actually know her.

“How in the hell are you here?! I was still working on getting you out…what happened?”

[like-rain-or-confetti]

You're gorgeous...

You fell in love with the rogues all over again seeing their new outfit and the world is gonna know it!

The Riddler: He took a bow and opened his arms with a grin. "That's much better!" He grinned. You turned around to look at him and your jaw dropped. "What do you think!?" He smirked. You couldn't help it. You saw his new green suit and couldn't help but stare at him. "You married?" You asked. He raised an eyebrow his smirk remaining on his face. "Like you wouldn't be the first to know." You stood up and approached him. "You're...oh what is that word. My feeble mind has forgotten. It has a double meaning. It could be a temperature but it's also a description for attractive people. Damn, what is that word?" You smirked. He chuckled lowly, his arms wound around your waist as yours wrapped around his neck. "I believe the word you seek, my sweet, is I'm 'hot'." He replied. "That you are." You nodded with a grin and he pulled you in closer, capturing your lips in a kiss.

Scarecrow: He didn't say anything about his new suit but you noticed it immediately when you turned to look at him. He felt your stare and looked back at you. "I am not worthy." You declared flatly. He raised an eyebrow. "Hm? Of what?" "Of you." You replied. Jonathan rolled his eyes. "I need you to not stand beside me around other people because you show me up a lot. My self-esteem can't deal with that." Jonathan cracked a faint smile at you. "But what would I be without you?" He asked softly. "Still gorgeous." You replied. He disagreed. "Not personally. Very few are good at being attractive in looks and personality. You, my dear, have perfected the art."

Two-Face: Even with right side of all of his suits damaged and nearly burned to crisp. Somehow he still pulled them off. You gasped. "Look at you!" He immediately chuckled under his breath as you took his hands and stepped back to get a better look at him. "Is this for my benefit because im benefitting. Do I need to share you with the rest of Gotham? What if someone worthwhile takes you from me!" "Not a chance, gorgeous." Harv' smirked. He watched your eyes run up and down him. "I hit the jackpot with you." You mumbled just loudly enough for him to hear. He tore his hands free of yours for a moment to pull you in by the waist. "Funny, I could say the same about you." He mumbled as he kissed your neck a couple of times.

Black Mask: Roman always looked immaculate. Yet when his white suits were brand new, they popped. You had heard he had a couple of new suits coming and noticed immediately when he was dressed in a white suit and a black shirt and shoes along with lack leather gloves. You gasped, gaining his attention. His masked head turning towards you sharply. "How you doin'? Are you single?" You asked. A low chuckle emitted from his mask. "Not anymore, doll. I'm off the market." You sighed in 'disappointment'. "I'm jealous of your partner. They're very lucky." Roman walked up to you and stroked your cheek. "Lucky you." He grinned.

Penguin: You caught sight of his new coat before he left for work at the lounge. "Oz?" You called. "Yeah, sweetheart? I'm just about to leave." He looked at you whilst fixing his collar. "Looking good?" He asked. Sometimes he felt he had to check he looked alright. Perhaps it was insecurity. You didn't want to upset him by prying or make him self conscious about asking. You looked him over. "Imma marry you." You deadpanned. "Oh yeah?" Oswald smirked. You nodded. "Mhm." "I don't recall proposing, sweetheart." Oswald said. "Who said you'd need to?" He raised an eyebrow. You blinked. "I can't decide if I should propose right now or just kidnap you and force you down the aisle." You pondered and he chuckled. "You think about that whilst I head to work." He kissed your cheek. "Love you!" You held onto him, hugging him and kissing his cheek in return. You felt his hand on your back. "I love you more, sweetheart."

[finniestoncrane]

if it's ok i had a idea where ed gets (ever so slightly, oswald rly overreacts <3) injured after a mini crime spree where he put himself in danger for oswald's attention. he's a kinky mf so most kinks would be fine but i'd love some spanking, possessive daddy oswald and brat ed. maybe even a collar/leash lol or anything adjacent 💖 also just want you to know you're an amazing writer and person!!!

Harm's Way

Nygmobblepot, word count: 500 my sweet lil baby bean i can absolutely indulge this, he's a kinky little muppet and i love him, but i think i made him too subby oops 💜 request info • prompt list • send me a request • kofi minors DNI!! 🔞 cw for nsfw stuff: violence, danger, almost injury, lil kinky, mostly suggestive, some humiliation/degradation implied

“Don’t be stupid, Oswald, I am perfectly fine and more than capable of-”

Ed was interrupted by a tirade of screams from Oswald, punctuated by his exasperated and melodramatic hand movements and stomping. A typical tantrum.

“If you’re going to shout, I’m not going to listen.”

With lips pursed, head tilted up and back straightened in an effort to seem, or feel, taller, Oswald let out a deep sigh and waved his hands over his chest.

“Fine…fine…I can calm down. I don’t know why I’m expected to though considering that you could have been blasted into nothingness!”

“I have a scrape on my elbow.”

His lips twisted as he furrowed his brows at Ed.

“A scrape which very well could have been a lost limb, or a lost life. How poorly would that reflect on me to have my partner decimated so easily?”

“I’m surprised you even knew I was gone.”

His features softened again, trying to at least appear outwardly calm against his internal rage.

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“You’ve been so caught up in this immense undertaking of your grand heist, that you’ve barely been able to see past your own nose.”

Oswald closed his eyes in disbelief at Ed’s subordination.

“Was that supposed to be funny?”

“Well…no, actually.”

“So, you’ve put yourself in danger to prove a point? To get some…attention?”

It never ceased to amaze Ed how someone could not only sound painfully sarcastic, but also look sarcastic. And yet Oswald achieved this on a semi-permanent basis.

“You did. You would get in harm’s way just to get a reaction out of me?”

“Yes, Oswald.”

“Yes, sir.”

“Yes, sir.”

The timidness in Ed’s voice was entirely put on. He knew how much Oz preferred him to be submissive, and he was more than willing to play into it, to receive the attention he craved.

“Turn around.”

Oswald barked out his instructions, and Edward was quick to follow, turning around to face the wall, hands against it as he braced himself. The anticipation of his touch, be it tainted with anger and disappointment or subtly evocative of Oswald’s possessive love, either was good.

The dull thud of Oswald’s cane against the back of his thighs came as a shock, but a pleasant one. A further strike, and another, moving up the skin until the cane was coming down hard on his still clothed cheeks.

“I’m angry with you, but I’m equally enraged by whoever thought they could harm you and get away with it. The very notion baffles me. You’re mine, and everyone is aware of that.”

“Yes, Oswald.”

A further crack of the cane against him, skin stinging even under the protective layer of clothing, a smile threatening to creep onto his face, Ed managed to stifle the joyful whimper.

“You’ll take me to the person who did this and we’ll see to it that the matter is resolved.”

“Yes, Oswald.”

“And you’ll wear your collar. And I’ll take you on your leash. Embarrassing or not, you evidently can’t be trusted on your own.”

“Yes, Oswald.”

“Yes. Sir.”

“Yes, sir.”

[reminem69]

Anything, Always - Edward Nygma/Oswald Cobblepot (Gotham)

Summary: Ed has a nightmare about Kristen. Oswald is there for him.

Notes: Lots of talk of choking/strangling and death in this y'all. They have to be really sad before they can be happy <3 (Canon Divergence, Isabella doesn't exist and Oswald and Edward ended up getting together.)

Also on Ao3!!

———

Restless nights at the hands of nightmares aren’t uncommon to Edward. Choking your first love to death can do that to you. Though, just because they’re common doesn’t mean they hurt any less.

Edward’s not in his own body. Instead, he is watching himself in a void where there is nothing but him and his double. And Kristen. 

His double has her pinned to the ground, both hands tight around her throat. Ed can hear her breathless pleads. He knows she wants to live. She’s not ready to die. He can see the life she could have had, her growing old and happy, a long fulfilling life. 

Hands claw at his own. He’s strangling her now. He tries to scream, to let go, to do anything to stop this. Frozen in place, all he can do is watch the tears escape as the light in her eyes dies along with her.

Edward shoots up with a gasp. Tears are running down his face and he’s panting. A soft mattress below him, warm covers on him, a dark, blurry bedroom around him. He’s home and safe in bed. Which means…

“Ed!” He startles and looks over to his boyfriend, in bed beside him. He looks like he just woke up, blinking hard through sleep and his hair a mess. Still, he looks terrified, eyes inspecting every inch of Edward. His hands are up, like he can’t decide if he’s allowed to touch him or not.

Edward just stares, tears running down his face. “I killed her Oswald.” The words barely come out, but in the deafening silence of their room, they practically echo. Oswald’s fear fades into understanding and he reaches out.

Edward’s shoulders shake in a silent sob as he falls into his partner. He tucks his head into his shoulder, hiding away from the thoughts. Oswald wraps him tight in a hug, hands constantly moving as if he could gather up Ed and piece him back together. 

Safe in the other’s arms, Edward lets himself sob and cry, gripping tight to Oswald. Oswald pets his hair, and he can feel a soft kiss pressed into his shoulder. 

“I’ve got you Ed,” Oswald whispers, rocking them slightly. “I’m here love.”

“I-I didn’t,” he gasps. “I didn’t mean to!” His voice cracks as he cries, breaking into a coughing fit. He pushes away from Oswald, hands grasping at his sore throat. 

Hands around his throat, breath fleeting and scarce. Is this what she felt like? Like her last proper breath was wasted? Startlingly aware of how close death was, not able to do a thing about it? Oh, the irony if he would’ve gone out like that. The karma of it all.

Edward doesn’t realize his hands are around his own throat until Oswald tears them away. He’s shocked back into reality by the sudden touch. He’d been choking himself. 

Oswald looks lost and horrified. His hands are tight around Edward’s wrists, both of them shaking horribly. He only now realizes Oswald had been shouting his name.

“I…,” Ed stares, sniffling. “I didn’t even realize.” He laughs a little, coughing. “I just, all I could imagine was Butch, if he had—.”

“But he didn’t,” Oswald interrupts. He’s crying too, trying to smile at the other. His lip is quivering and his words are shaky. “You are alive. And you deserve to be. You’re here, with me, and we’re together and safe. And I’m never going to let anything happen to you, Edward.”

Oswald releases his hands to gently hold his tear-stained face. “I don’t care if I have to rid the city of everyone in it, burn down every building, and build a new world from the ground up, I swear I will do everything to keep you safe.”

Edward leans into his hand and sobs, the other hand petting his hair. Oswald leans up and presses a soft kiss to his forehead. “If I can’t protect you while you’re in your own head, I promise to do everything I can to keep you safe out here.”

The sentiment mirrors what Edward says to him when he’s the one waking up from nightmares. Ed will hold him while he cries over his lost mother, swearing that no one will ever hurt him like that again with Edward around. The symmetry of their broken lives and painful nights is almost comforting to him. A shared yet separate pain bonding them together in a way nothing else can.

Edward hugs himself and leans into Oswald. The other holds him as close as he can. He pets Ed’s hair, whispering sweet nothings and loving promises into his ear while he cries.

They stay like that for who knows how long, the quiet of the room filled with sobs and gasps, shushing and whispers. It’s sad and intimate and, despite the pain, Edward almost doesn’t want it to end. But it does, as all good things do.

His sobs die down to quiet sniffles, now fully draped over his partner. His eyes and throat hurt, and he’s absolutely drained. Oswald sighs into his shoulder and pulls away.

Oswald presses a kiss to his temple, wiping the tears from his face. “There you are.” They both smile at that and Edward leans in. They gently press their foreheads together. 

“Thank you, dear,” Edward whispers, voice hoarse. Oswald hums and pulls away. 

“Anything, always,” he says. “Is your throat alright?” Edward looks away, answering without saying a thing. “That’s what I thought. Let me make you ginger tea, alright? We can stay up or we can sleep again—.”

“No, please,” Ed rasps. “I don’t think I can sleep peacefully. Not tonight.”

Oswald nods, understanding completely after having so many sleepless nights of his own. “Then we won’t. Come on, let’s go.”

He gets out of bed, offering a hand to Edward, who takes it. Edward stands, letting the other fuss over him. Oswald wraps him in a soft blanket and puts his glasses on him. As soon as Ed can see properly, he leans down, capturing Oswald’s lips in a soft kiss. It’s quick and gentle, ended with adoring smiles from them both.

Hand in hand, the pair head to the living room. Oswald leads the other to the sofa, sitting him down and pressing a kiss to his forehead. He leaves Edward there in the dark and silent room, going to the kitchen.

The silence of their shared home, only interrupted by soft noises from the kitchen, serves to calm Edward. His head feels empty, the morbid thoughts draining away and leaving bliss in their wake. It’s not often he’s calmed enough that his thoughts fade. When it happens though, it’s a beautiful thing.

He knows he’s there, half coherent, for at least a few minutes, but it feels like two seconds and an hour when the sofa dips beside him. 

Blinking back into reality, his head lulls over to see Oswald. Edward grins at him, making him smile back with a little laugh.

“You looked in your own world there Ed,” his partner says softly, handing him the tea. Ed just hums, blowing on his tea before taking a sip of it. Ginger and honey flood his senses and he sighs.

“Perfect as always, my dear,” he says, taking a few more sips of it before placing it on the coffee table. “Your mother would be proud.” Oswald beams at that. His mother can be a sensitive topic, but he always smiles when the comments come from Edward.

Ed moves, opting to lay on the couch with his head in Oswald’s lap. He stares up at his boyfriend. Even with only the glow of moonshine and the distant kitchen light, both of them having forgotten to turn a lamp on, Edward still admires the other with love.

The careful splattering of freckles across his cheeks, the way his eyes squint and his whole face brightens in a smile, the messy bedhead Ed can’t help but reach up and run a hand through. How a man like him got so lucky as to be with someone as beautiful as Oswald, he’ll never know.

The hand in Oswald’s hair falls to his neck, pulling him down softly. They meet in a kiss, a little sideways and a little bit of a weird angle, but full of a fondness they only hold for each other nonetheless. When Edward’s eyes open again, he sees tears on Oswald’s face.

“I’m sorry,” Oswald says, wiping the tears away as Ed sits up, pulling him into a hug. “I’m trying to comfort you, and yet, even after sobbing your eyes out, you still look at me like that. You still kiss me like that. It’s almost overwhelming.”

“I know exactly what you mean,” Edward laughs, kissing the other’s head. When the tables are turned and Oswald looks at him fondly, Edward drowns in it. After having a life of people ridiculing you at every turn, someone looking at you like you’re heaven itself can be a shock. It’s exhilarating.

“I love you,” Oswald whispers. Edward grins from ear to ear, pulling him closer as Oswald grips tight to the back of his shirt.

“I love you too Oswald.”

They stay like that for a while, separating only when Ed coughs and Oswald badgers him to drink more tea. They hold each other, lounging on the couch and talking about anything and everything until Edward’s cup is empty and they’ve fallen asleep in each other’s arms, morning light starting to pour into the room.

The nightmares don’t get any less painful, but the aftermath is much easier to deal with when you have someone who loves you.

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

just remembered that gotham once did an extra long season finale and was almost reduced to tears but worry not! this one is the standard 45 minutes. let's get this shitshow on the road so I can know a little peace before I embark on the final season!

gotham 4x22

despite it all I remain emo about baby batcat. they love each other so much and so strangely. more than anything they just want to protect each other. Selina especially is always acting like Bruce's little knight in leather armor. she's everything to me.

as much as I hate Jeremiah I do think Cameron Monaghan's frankly upsettingly still face is very impressive there's some really spectacular muscle control happening here

as you all know I believe in the compliment sandwich method here so I'm going to say something nice: this show is actually right that the funniest possible context for Bruce and Ra's' relationship is that Bruce managed to kill Ra's one (1) time when he was a teenager and Ra's has been begging him to do it again ever since

the entire city's about to get blown up by a fucking clown and the Riddler is still trying to win a pissing contest with his situationship's ex boyfriend I hate him I hate him I hate him

you know what. fuck it. I'm throwing in the towel. Jim and Lee are meant to be together specifically and solely because they both have something in their pussy that makes the people they have sex with INSANE. but they cancel each other out and are able to be halfway stable together so that's probably best for the entire city.

do you think Lee and Riddleboy ever talk about the way he murdered her work friend and indirectly caused her miscarriage or

I'm so bored. I'm just bored of these people and their problems I am tired

never mind Barbara's past crimes are forgiven using a child to indirectly commit murder is so funny. an icon.

LEE THOMPKINS ALSO FORGIVEN FOR ALL CRIMES IN EXCHANGE FOR ATTEMPTING TO MURDER THE RIDDLER

genuinely one of my favorite pieces of Gotham canon is that the Riddler will inevitably kill all of his girlfriends sooner or later, a thing that at least two people who are romantically interested and/or sexually involved with him also treat as unquestioned fact

I think if this show was braver they would not have stopped at kissing after they stabbed each other. and quite frankly. that would have been the right call. show me something nasty I am tired.

Oswald Chesterfield Cobblepot you duplicitous slut !!!!!!! I love you I'm so proud of you you scheming little bastard

LMAOOOOOOOOOOO when everyone else disappoints me Oswald NEVER disappoints me

I'm fucking crying throwing up shaking etc over Bruce leaving her side after he promised he wouldn't because he has an entire city to look after instead and he will!!! always!!! pick this wretched festering fucking city over everything!!! over his only friend who he is in love with even though he promised her!!! because he can't help it he has a burden the size of Gotham on his back and a heart so big that everything slips through the cracks. he's like sixteen this isn't fair :(

and she'll hate him for leaving and he'll hate himself but he wouldn't change his mind given the chance and she wouldn't change him. someone euthanize me. why are there seven minutes left of this episode when we've already had the perfect ending.

oh hey Scarecrow nice hat! you look good, buddy!

oh my GOD Barbara at it again with the white feminism. I'm exhausted. Barbara is unabsolved again. Barbara baby every problem in Gotham can not be traced back to "men" I hate this and you. "all the pain and greed comes from MEN" you kill people Barbara!!! you personally!!!

JEREMIAH'S GENERATOR BOMB THING POWERING THE FUTURE BAT SIGNAL WEE WOO WEE WOO I LOVE WHEN I'M RIGHT

OH MY GOD MAN-BAT???? YOU LOOK AWFUL HOMIE

alright kids I guess we're doing this. season 5 no man's land here we come.

after an intermission that wasn't nearly long enough, I bring you the final liveblog of season 4.

4x20

lmao blaze it

what in the off-brand Harley

god Cameron Monaghan's Mark Hamill is so good. rip king.

something actually extremely charming about Riddleboy still working the same team of hooligan kids and apparently just. completely and utterly trusting in their ability to pull off a prison break? and he's right, Gotham kids are built different. let the Riddler have a gang of ragamuffins they're the only people on earth who could possibly think he's cool.

I'm gonna say there's like. a 60% chance that Jeremiah's generator thing ends up being the Bat Signal or something. powering the Batcave maybe. it's gotta be SOMETHING come on.

I'm just going to be really real with you: whoever on the props team decided to put an ice cream cone and stickers on Jerome's notebook to make it look like a middle school girl's diary was right

Lee @ Jim:

today they forgot to put the Grundy makeup on Drew Powell's fingers

rip to Butch I guess but I really don't understand what he's mad about at this point. he's got all his memories back, he's fully articulate, he gets the added bonus of super strength. literally all that's different about him is that he's pale like boohoo dude life could be worse

straight up I have absolutely zero idea how old the Valeska twins are supposed to be. I thought Jerome was like ??? 19 but Jeremiah had a successful career as an structural engineer or something. Cameron Monaghan played them between the ages of like 21-26. genuinely 0 idea what the energy is here.

oh my god Jeremiah CHOKE you are so boring I hate your clown pussy. die die die die die die die. bitch you'll never be Jerome.

Jeremiah's fixation on being best friends with Bruce, who's like 17 at MOST, is not shedding any light on how old he's meant to be

I have spent. minutes. long ones. agonizing over the most comical way to present this information and the psychic distress that it has caused me. and there's genuinely nothing I can say that will gussy this up in a way that will adequately convey the pain I feel right now, so I'm just going to say it: Riddler's got a clown kink. canonically. I'm not extrapolating or exaggerating for comedic effect that was just. tossed out very casually. like a bowl of free chips at a Mexican restaurant. why. for whom. what godforsaken monkey on a typewriter pounded that one out.

Harvey Bullock and Nancy Pelosi have one (1) thing in common

hey so like. what the fuck is Echo's deal. what's going on there.

[funtimespringscare101]

Five Nights at Freddy's: Into The Pit Aftermath Chapter 5 (Late 8 Year FNAF Anniversary Special)

Eleanor became more panicked as Spring moved closer to Sarah, Stitch's hold on her was strong but he was beginning to weaken.

Oswald watched as Spring walked towards Sarah, he didn't expect this summer to go the way it did, the incident at Jeff's Pizza left him on his feet. Seeing Spring again, in the way he was acting now, was a good thing. At least he got one good thing after the incident in 1985.

Spring put the syringe on Sarah's neck, and she winced, Oswald felt bad for her, no one deserved her fate and Eleanor kept trying to escape the Stitchwraith's hold.

When Oswald first heard about The StitchWraith, he was creeped out. it was just a creepy urban legend that got very popular for him at first. "A Hooded Figure with a Blacked out eye and a creepy mask walking around Hurricane? No,Thank you!" was his first thought about it. But he got home and looked into it in the Newspapers his dad read, he got a big shock with the horribly electrocuted bodies that the StitchWraith left in his wake.

Spring started to drain Sarah's Remnant out of her body into the Syringe, her eyes started to get heavy. "Y-you all right, Sarah?" he asked and she nodded with a sleepy smile. this whole procedure seemed like a Surgery for a implant, only where Sarah could die if he got this wrong. His hands were shaking and his breath was shaky, the anxiety from that thought filled his mind with fear. He focused on the task at hand. "Spring?" A voice called and Spring froze, Sarah heard it too and also froze. Spring sighed, "Go away, Shadow." he said.

Shadow appeared next to him. He was very similar to Spring, his fur was a very dark phase of purple, with a lighter-toned bowtie. his fur was messy and his eyes were black, with bright violet pupils that glowed. He was a lot calmer than he was the last few months, his sanity was coming back. He was who made Spring kill those kids in 1985. Spring never hated Shadow for it though, Shadow told him that he was kicked out of his home and mentally tortured by a guy called Nightmare, who seemed like a bastard anyway. "Hey?…" his Voice seemed nervous, "Can I help?…Please?" Sarah stared with a very concerned look on her face, "Spring, do you care to introduce me to this friend of yours?" she whispered.

Spring protested for a moment but sighed, "Shadow, this is Sarah. Sarah, this is Shadow." "Charmed" She continued whispering, "Now, Can you explain how you can help me, Shadow?" He looked at the necklace in Stitch's hand, "I could do a spell on that Necklace you guys definitely wanted to get." Spring looked at Shadow with a surprised look, "Shadow, you'll do that for… someone you just met?" "No.." he replied and smiled at Sarah, "a new friend." Shadow look at the necklace and lifted his hand. It Glowed bluish purple as the necklace floated from Stitch's hand. Stitch, Eleanor and Oswald, who couldn't see Shadow, were now looking at the event that was happening.

Shadow lifted his other hand and the necklace's cracked heartpiece began to fix itself, Eleanor looked at the spectacle that was happening, her face filled with fear and wonder. The Necklace finished itself and it began to float back into Stitch's hand, which he took reluctantly, out of shock. Shadow looked at Spring and Sarah, and weakly smiled. "T-there we go…", he collapsed but Spring caught him. Now was the moment that Stitch, Oswald and Eleanor noticed Shadow. "Who are You?" Eleanor asked with a very scared tone, Shadow slowly stood up with Spring's help and said "someone that you won't want on your ass." Eleanor swallowed, and Spring looked at Sarah. "Well, with that note, let's finish this, shall we, Sarah?"

She nodded and Spring continued the Procedure. With Sarah's remnant now fully in the syringe, Spring turned his attention to the endoskeleton, now completed with the now-fixed necklace. He pointed the syringe to the base of its neck and began to push the plunger down. Little by little, the endoskeleton started to move its joints, Sarah was getting used to it. Eleanor began to get more and more restless as the whole thing progressed. At last, Sarah stood up, looking at her new body, she chuckled, "Thanks Guys, It feels so good to move again."

Spring pressed the Necklace's Illusion disk, and a faint ringing sound filled the space, everyone took their hands to their ears. Spring looked back at Sarah. she was now a robotic looking being with brown messy hair and light blue eyes that were similar to Spring's. Her face was pale, with faint tear streaks running from her eyes, her face was also cracked in a couple of places, her endoskeleton was still bare though, Spring and Stitch Immediately thought that the necklace's damage was internal. Sarah still smiled anyway. "YES!" she exclaimed in glee, hugging herself.

Stitch Chuckled, "I'm Glad you're okay no~", he paused, with his face turning serious. he looked around before facing Spring and Sarah, "I sense something nearby, something full of Agony." Sarah looked like she knew that Stitch was talking about, "like me?" she asked, Stitch nodded. "Well, Then, Let's get going then! Are you okay to walk, Shadow?" Spring Asked, and Shadow nodded back. "But you aren't going anywhere butt-naked like that, Sarah." he pointed at Sarah, she realized he was right, blushing. Oswald Softly chuckled. Sarah looked around and spotted a nearly clean rosy pink shirt on one of the mounds and put in on, it was a little bigger than her and it made her like a toddler. Stitch Nodded, "All Right, Let's Go Everyone!" he said as he released Eleanor and led the charge, with them leaving Eleanor behind, gasping for breath. "Oh, No you don't!" She growled and chased them. In a few blocks, they found the place responsible, Spring's eyes widen, "Freddy Fazbear's?! but it looks way different than the one I came from…" Oswald smiled, "Welcome to the future." he said humorously, and that made Stitch and Sarah looked at Spring in Confusion. "Guys!" Shadow exclaimed, "Sorry to Interrupt but WE HAVE COMPANY!", but it was too late. Eleanor already had her hands on Spring's neck.

"YOU STOLE MY ONE CHANCE AT A BETTER LIFE AWAY AND NOW YOU'RE GONNA PAY, RABBIT!" She Screamed in Rage.

[bookcastic]

2x11 of Gotham is just Lucius Fox being completely surrounded by borderline insane people and I really appreciate that because it’s so accurate to his character. He’s like “don’t you want a backup plan?” And Oswald’s goes “failure is not an option” and Lucius’ face is just SO done with this penguin man’s shit (like, Oswald didn’t even answer his question??? Lmao) but then he looks over at Jim and Jim AGREES so he’s like “guess all my friends are about to either kill a cult or die trying! Fun.” Also Lucius asking Harvey who Selina is just cracks me up Bc while you’d think Harvey is one of the sane ones, that’s not right. None of them are sane, but Harvey has the most ride-or-die crackhead energy in the group, barring maybe Alfred. And Lucius is seriously questioning why this random teenage girl is suiting up with a bunch of psychos to help rescue Bruce Wayne. Love this for them <3

[thescullyphile]

Hi, I have a prompt for you: M&S at a party organized by the gunmen with 80s music and a lot of alcohol. Just two 'drunk in love' fools, enjoying themselves for once (and making out a lot). Have a good day ;)

A/N: This is my first ever prompt, so this made my day! I tried to be faithful to the prompt, but there are a fewww discrepancies, mostly because I know nothing about alcohol OR kissing. Nevertheless, I tried my best to deliver and I hope you enjoy. :D

Invitation

“Miss Dana Katherine Scully,

It would be our great honor to invite you to ‘A Night After His Own Heart’ to celebrate the publication of the 100th issue of The Lone Gunman and to memorialize our late President, John Fitzgerald Kennedy. Dinner and drinks will be provided, please dress according to semi formal guidelines.

Sincerely,

Messrs. John Fitzgerald Byers, Melvin Frohike, and Richard ‘Ringo’ Langly”

Assuming that Mulder was also attending, Scully put her RSVP in the mail without a second thought.

—

Two weeks later, Mulder knocked on Scully’s door in a suit and it felt so much like a date that she blushed. Thankfully, he shattered the illusion by holding up his tie and asking if she knew how to make a Trinity knot (she did).

They went from being perfectly on time to being fashionably late after the ‘Trinity knot trial,’ as Mulder wanted to call it, as if having Scully so close he could smell her perfume wasn’t an event he wanted to replicate. Frohike whistled when he opened the door (password: Lee Harvey Oswald). “Ms. Scully, looking especially divine tonight,” he grumbled, welcoming her with a sweep of his hand. “Oh, hey Mulder.”

The Lone Gunmen’s den was miraculously clean, computer screens flickering with projected candles, a detail Langly was proud of. A cluster of desks had been cleared out in favor of a large wooden table, and Frohike pulled out Scully’s chair with a flourish. A heavenly scent emanated from the back, where she assumed Byers and Langly were, and where Frohike blustered to after she was seated. She was left alone with Mulder, and he looked at her in the faux-candlelight and seemed almost shy. “I don’t know if...” he trailed off and gathered his courage. “I like your dress, Scully, you look beautiful.”

Scully couldn’t quite bite back a smile as she looked down like she was seeing herself for the first time. Her dress was pretty, elegant and off the shoulder in a deep maroon she knew was flattering. “Well, I had to get Frohike a gift, didn’t I?”

Mulder traced her throat with his eyes, and she wondered if he could see the wavering of her pulse point against her skin. “Do I get a gift too?” He asked softly.

Scully looked him in the eyes and opened her mouth to respond but was cut off by Langly entering with the singular largest chocolate cake she had ever seen. “My God.”

“Dinner is served.” Mulder said with entirely too much glee. Scully looked aghast, and he cracked a grin. “Don’t worry, you eat it, not the other way around.”

Scully was torn between a laugh and a grimace, and only settled on a laugh when Byers and Frohike approached with actual food. Mulder’s foot hooked under her chair, distracting her long enough that she didn’t notice three shot glasses being placed in front of her until it was too late. The table was set and alcohol served in what felt like microseconds, and upon seeing her quizzical look, Mulder leaned in to explain. He really didn’t need to be that close. Scully liked it. “In honor of JFK,” he whispered like it was a secret. “Sixty three shots proved a little ambitious, so we just settled on three.” He sounded amused, and with his breath brushing her ear, Scully already felt a little drunk.

Ever prudent, Byers served up lamb chops and mashed potatoes (a favorite of the late President) and they all ate before downing the shots. Mulder’s face wrinkled predictably, not one for hard liquor, and all the Lone Gunman covered up coughs as the alcohol burned through their chests. Then, suitably inebriated, Langly did the honors of carving up the cake. A piece the size of Mulder’s palm (when did that become her unit of measurement?) found its way to Scully’s plate, and she nibbled at it dutifully as Mulder inhaled cake like his life depended on it. She pushed her plate over to him when he finished his slice and he set at it with equal vigor. “I’m impressed, Mulder, you’d make a feral cat proud.” He almost choked on his cake from the unexpected onset of his laugh.

—

The better half of a bottle of vodka later, the giggling of the Gunmen over an apparently funny issue of their self-titled publication, and an odd 80s song playing in the background that Scully couldn’t tell was offensive or not proved the perfect cocktail for Mulder to work up his nerve. He cast a conspiratorial look at Scully, microexpressions turning macro as he leaned in close. “Do you want to dance?”

Both of them were pretending to be more drunk than they were, any excuse to bump into each other was suitable. Mulder pulled her close, fingers interlacing on the small of her back, his spot, while his chin rested on her hair. “Is it just me, or are you shorter than usual?”

Scully huffed and leaned her head against his chest. “My shoes are under the table.”

He hummed thoughtfully and kept them swaying, her stockinged feet slid on the tiled floor as Mulder led them in circles.

Emboldened, Scully looked at Mulder and  leaned up so she could whisper in his ear. “I know this is the boy’s party, but I do have a gift for you.”

Mulder’s heart rate rose. “Oh? And what would that be, Dana Katherine?” he murmured. She shivered at his use of her name and pressed a kiss to his lips. He tasted like chocolate cake and he smiled against her mouth, which would have been endearing if she hadn’t wanted to eat him alive. They broke apart minutes later, breathless and flushed, and Mulder held her close to his body. “I’m never going to let you go.”

[oswaldsleftbicep]

Happy New Year!!❤️ Looking foward another year with your amazing writing

Also can I ask for headcanons with Lucas, Oswald and Lucia reacting to a reader that got clingy after drinking too much alcohol??

lucia, oswald, & lucas + drunk and clingy gn!so

you're so sweet 😭 it means so much that y'all enjoy my writing and look forward to it :,) but let me preface this by saying i've never been drunk, i've never even had a drop of alcohol and i honestly don't plan to ever drink. so, i'm basing the reader's behavior off of what i witnessed when i crashed my ex's boy's night a couple months ago lol

genre: crack, fluff

cw: alcohol and intoxication, one curse word, poorly described cuddle positions

Lucia

❧ he was throwing a party at his mansion and you already know that when there's a party, there's alcohol

❧ the only reason why lucia was sober was because he was hosting the party, otherwise he would've been right with you getting absolutely hammered

❧ this wasn't a completely formal event so there was more than just the usual classy alcohols like champagne and wine

❧ and lucia knew that you had a hard week for whatever reason whether it was stress or emotions, so when the two of you entered the ballroom he told you to go have fun and off you went

❧ of course he was keeping a close eye on you because that's his partner out there getting drunk among strangers, but whenever lucia was caught up talking to a guest he would have kaim watch you

❧ so about an hour or two into the party kaim comes speed walking up to lucia and steals him away from the guest he was talking to

❧ kaim tells lucia that you seem to be a little too intoxicated, but lucia's like "nah they're fine, let them have this"

❧ but then kaim points you out in the crowd and you're surrounded by a group of people and you're talking to all of them at once quite enthusiastically and you're also starting to get kinda touchy with them, not that they really seem to mind because they recognize that you're harmless in this state and they all think it's amusing

❧ so lucia walks over to see what's up, and as he gets closer he hears that you're talking excitedly about this puppy you saw the other day, and whenever you touch one of the stranger's/your new best friend's shoulder or arm you immediately apologize and continue your story without missing a beat

❧ but then you spot lucia and it's like you were never even talking about a puppy, you're just like "oh hey!! it's lucia!! my wonderful partner and the love of my life!!"

❧ then you latch onto him, and he hugs you back of course, but you're not showing any sign of letting go any time soon, which normally he'd love but he's hosting a party right now and he can't have you just hanging off of him

❧ so he moves you so that you're holding onto his arm instead and you spend the remaining couple hours of the party walking around together with you hugging his arm

❧ once the party's over lucia tells kaim and the other staff to take care of the cleanup while he takes you back to his room to lie down

❧ the whole way there you're still latched onto his arm, only now you've started to rub your face against it too

❧ so he gets you into the room and decides to get you settled in. he sits you down onto the bed and takes your shoes off for you, but when he stands up to help you out of your evening outfit, you grab him and pull him down onto the bed so that you're holding him on top of you and you're nuzzling your face into the top of his head

❧ he was very caught off guard but loves the attention regardless

❧ but then he's like "ok seriously tho we need to get into our pjs" to which you protest so he's gotta do some negotiating. mans may be irresponsible at times but when it comes to you he's at the top of his game

❧ he tells you that if the two of you can get into your pjs in the next five minutes, you can cuddle him all night long

❧ you're like "heck yeah!!!" and you gently shoo him off of you, spring up, and start stripping. he gets kinda flustered at first but laughs it off and hands you your pjs and makes sure you're putting them on correctly

❧ you end up in bed way before him since he helped you get ready, and you're whining for him to hurry up and come cuddle you already >:(

❧ so because of the peer pressure he settles for just his underwear as his pjs for the night so he can keep his promise to you

❧ he's a little shit tho so he slowly gets into bed, like he's dragging this out so you get impatient and pull him in the rest of the way and toward you while he's laughing cuz you're so cute when you're clingy

❧ the cuddle position y'all go for is him on his back and you with your leg across his hip and an arm over his torso and your head on his chest

❧ you're forcing your face deeper into his chest and drawing little shapes into his skin and mumbling about how much you love him

❧ the whole time he's just caressing your back and your head with a lovesick smile, responding to some of your little comments with an amused tone, until you finally fall asleep

Oswald

❧ you were having some drinks with him and lucia and some of the other staff at the mansion this happened in someone's route i don't remember whose tho

❧ oswald's a big guy which means he's got a pretty good tolerance, so even if he's drinking with you he never gets drunk at the same rate

❧ he would've gotten himself drunk if he didn't watch as you progressively got more and more wasted as the night went on

❧ and since one of you has to be able to take care of the other, he holds off on the getting drunk and turns his focus to watching you and lucia both act like fools

❧ he's never seen you drunk before so this is gonna be a fun learning experience for him, and what he learns is that the more you drink the touchier and clingier you become

❧ he also learns that it doesn't matter who you cling onto, like for a good while you were hanging off of lucia, but as soon as oswald returned into your distorted field of vision you immediately latched onto him

❧ he's a pretty shy guy when it comes to pda, less so when it's just his close friends around but his bosses are still in the room so he gets a little blushy and embarrassed at the sudden affection

❧ it's not even anything scandalous, you're just hugging him and drumming on his arm and thigh with your fingers and leaning up against him

❧ so it gets later into the evening and the more sober people decide to call it a night and get everyone into bed

❧ you and lucia are less than pleased to hear about this tho, and you insist on walking lucia back to his room so that he "gets home safe" to which kaim and oswald give and exasperated sigh but let you do anyway

❧ you reach his door and the two of you get extra pouty and have a borderline tearful and really drawn out goodbye, hugging and acting like it's gonna be forever until you see each other again

❧ oswald's off to the side watching with a mix of "are they really serious" and "aw that's kinda cute"

❧ but the goodbye is really starting to take way too long so kaim and oswald have to practically tear the two of you apart, and oswald has to distract you with a new little task: walk him back to his room now

❧ and you're like "absolutely, i gotta make sure the love of my life gets back home extra safe" but you also can't really walk without support so mans just sighs again, kneels down, and lets you onto his back for a piggy back ride which makes you even more excited

❧ so he carries you out the mansion and through the garden and finally back into his cabin

❧ once you're in he squats down a bit, expecting you to hop off now that you've reached your destination, but you just wrap your legs around him and hold on like a koala

❧ the poor man has to ask you multiple times to get down and eventually he's just like "if you don't get down, how will we get comfy and cuddle in bed?"

❧ that question gets you to let go immediately and you just kinda,, fall down onto the floor since oswald was standing upright and wasn't supporting you well, so he panics and helps you up off the floor

❧ but once you're standing you instantly start pulling off your clothes and worming your way into your pajamas with shocking speed for someone who is very intoxicated

❧ oswald just stands there watching you with bewilderment and wonder until he sees you make a wobbly beeline toward him and you start tugging at his clothes

❧ he gets the hint and changes into his pajamas as he tells you to get comfy in bed. you messily pull the covers back, mess the pillows up a bit, and then unceremoniously flop down onto the bed and wait for him to finish

❧ as he makes his way into the bed, you scramble a bit to make room and pat the spot next to you

❧ he lies down and holds his arms open, knowing that you're gonna flop down onto him, and flop you do. you land face first on him and he lets out a little grunt cuz wow that was a lot of force, and he stays still while you wiggle around to make yourself comfy

❧ you end up with most of your body on top of him with the exception of one leg that remains on the mattress, your arms are kinda curled up beneath you with your palms on his chest and your head is between your hands

❧ he's got his arms around you, holding your body to his tightly, and his cheek is pressed against the top of your head

❧ you're starting to get really sleepy so your talking shifts into slurred mumbles that are completely incoherent; the only things he can make out are his name and "i love you"

❧ he keeps holding you tight, occasionally pressing kisses to your head, until your mumbles are replaced with soft breathing and he follows you into sleep

Lucas

❧ the two of you are spending a cozy little evening alone in his home; there's no special occasion but y'all decided to cook yourselves a fancy dinner and break out some nice liquors

❧ so the two of you curl up on a little love seat in front of the fire after dinner and you help yourselves to multiple glasses of alcohol

❧ i believe that lucas has an incredibly strong tolerance, like it takes him absolutely forever to get drunk and the most he gets is just kinda tipsy, so the whole time he's pretty much just watching you get more and more wasted with a loving smile on his face like "yep, this one's mine :)"

❧ he adores how clingy you get, and since it's only the two of you in the room you can give him all of the affection you want without worrying about others

❧ however, at one point he needed to go to the bathroom so he gets up to go,, but he can't go anywhere because there's a hand holding onto his wrist

❧ he turns around and looks at you like "is there something you need??" so you just ask where he's going, and he tells you and you're like "oh ok" and you stand up too

❧ now he's the confused one; he asks why you've stood up and you respond "cuz we're going to the bathroom??" and he just laughs cuz there's no way you're serious

❧ but when he takes a step, you take one too. so he takes a few more steps and would you look at that, you're literally planning on following him into the bathroom

❧ he walks with you to the door and tells you to wait outside and you're like "ok :)" but you still try to follow him in. he tries again, but the same thing happens

❧ so he turns back down the hall until y'all are a good distance away from the bathroom, and then mans just books it

❧ and it actually works!! he's in the bathroom and he doesn't have to worry about you watching him pee!!

❧ but then he hears your confused cries and knocks from the other side of the door, and now he's thinking this whole clingy drunk thing isn't as cute as he originally thought

❧ once he's finished his business, he opens the door but he can't spot you. he hears a sniffle and looks down and there you are sitting against the wall next to the door

❧ he kneels down in front of you, worried because you're crying, but the you see him and fling yourself onto him, blabbering out how much you missed him and how could he just leave you out in the hall all cold and alone >:,(

❧ he manages to keep his balance somehow and hugs you back, consoling you gently before he picks you up to carry you back to the couch

❧ you wrap your legs around him, intent on not letting go, and he sits you both down so that you're on his lap facing him with your legs still around his waist and he's holding you close

❧ he ends up having to apologize for leaving you out in the hall lmao, but you forgive him as long as he continues to hold you and give you attention

❧ you eventually get off of his lap in favor of being able to reach the cookies on the table, so now you're curled into his side and he's feeding you cookies and making sure you take sips of water

❧ you make him tell you stories, which you frequently interrupt with little side comments and exclamations, but he tolerates it more than he would if it were anyone else

❧ he even listens to you tell your own stories which make just enough sense for him to gather a basic premise of what you're talking about

❧ after a while of that, he can tell that you're getting sleepy so he makes you do your bedtime routine, he even helps you with your skincare routine and gets you into your pajamas

❧ once everything is taken care of, he quickly gets into his pajamas and you get into bed together; y'all do the honeymoon hug cuddle position where you face one another and hug with your legs all tangled up

❧ you hold him really close to you, and he caresses the back of your head in a soothing way so that you'll fall asleep faster

❧ he continues to listen to your mumbles and slurred love confessions until you eventually go quiet and fall asleep; he stays awake a bit longer to make sure you're really out before falling asleep as well

[riddle-me-ri]

Hiii!! I hope you're doing well and having a lovely day!

I was wondering, if you had the time could you possibly make a headcanon or just a short drabble of what the different rogues (and maybe Joker, if you're up to it) reacting to the reader giving them a bizarre question like "What's your favorite color of the alphabet, yes or no?"

I love your work, btw! ❤️❤️

A/N: Thanks so much! I'm glad you love my work. And I'm sorry...uh...this...this is pure crack, but it was fun coming up with different bizarre questions for the Rogues to answer. And sorry, I skipped Joker, I can't really write for him unless he's bouncing off another Rogue (i.e. Eddie cause their feud is my favorite) But I was able to do four rogues, and each has their own short little drabble. Albeit they're more dialogue than anything. Also, there's no particular version of the rogues, just my own generic personification of them. Anyways hope you enjoy it!

What's Your Favorite Time on the Alphabet? w/ Batman Rogues

Edward Nygma/The Riddler: 

"Hey, Eddie!" 

"What is it?" Edward was reading the newspaper, about to do his daily crossword. 

"Do you think words have feelings?" 

"Words..wait what?" He looked up from the paper to look at you from across the dining room table. 

“Do you think words have feelings? Like yeah they convey feelings to us, when we say them and how we say them, but like…”

Ed dropped everything on the table and immediately almost instinctually put his hands to his temples. “No…words aren’t sentient beings, they don’t contain a conscious. Words are a unit of language.” 

“Like..currency?”

“I mean they cost a breath..wait what…no! No..? Are you trying to give me a headache?” 

You pursed your lips and shrugged. “I was just curious, you seemed into it for a minute.”

“I will stab you with this pen.” He clicked the pen top for emphasis. 

“You’re so smart, Eddie, love you!” You swing up from your chair and plant a kiss on his cheek. 

“Fine..maybe just a poke, then.”

Jonathan Crane/Scarecrow:

Jonathan was in his basement laboratory. Of course, where else would he be, and that’s probably the last place you should be. However, you were fearless…clearly. 

You knocked. “Johnny, when you have a minute can you come out? I’ve got something I want to ask.”

Jonathan groaned along with the door as he opened it. “What could possibly be the matter?” 

You walked right on into his lab and took a seat on one of the barstools near a chemistry set. John just rolled his eyes as he shut the door. 

“What’s your favorite color of the alphabet?” 

Jonathan almost dropped the beaker of acid he was trying to pour into a canister. 

“What kind of a foolish question is that? The alphabet doesn’t have a color…”

“So it’s like plain white? Black?” 

“What…no, it can be whatever color you want! Where did this come from?” 

“Just answer the question, don’t question the question!”

“I will respond how I please,” he turned around to face you, but not before putting the beaker down. “Where did this come from?” 

“My brain.”

“That’s concerning…”

“Hey!” 

“As long as the alphabet is accurate it can be any color it wants.”

“But you’re favorite color…”

“The alphabet consists of letters and whatever colors it consists of is up to the creator reciting them on paper.”

“But-”

“-Out!” 

“Your favorite color…”

“This is a nightmare…” Jonathan grabbed you by your shoulders and began dragging you out the door. When you try to rush back in, he slammed the door in your face and locked it. 

“I will let you in, when the nightmare’s over.” He told you through the door. 

Oswald Cobblepot/The Penguin: 

Oswald was enjoying a drink at one of his tables at the Iceberg Lounge. The club was just about to open for the night. 

“Ozzie!” You ran up to him and took a seat next to him. 

“What’s all this for?” He asked.

“What’s the best color at noon, yes or no?”

Oz choked on his drink. You had to pat him on the back to help him get situated. 

“The hell? What kind of question is that?”

“My question, what’s your answer?” 

“I-I don’t have the slightest clue, w-what made you think of that? Have you been hanging out with Eddie or Jervis again?” 

“Nope. I was just curious, since everything’s a construct anyway…” 

Oswald rubbed his hand against his face up and down. He immediately began pouring another drink into his glass. 

“Hey, you didn’t answer my question!”

“I don’t have time for foolish questions, I’ve got a club to open!” 

“Ugh, fine…the answer was titian but be that way…” You crossed your arms and sunk in your chair.

Oswald blinked at you in complete confused awe. He went back to the table and shucked the whole bottle of champagne from the bucket and tucked it under his arm. 

Jervis Tetch/Mad Hatter:

“Jervis!” 

“Yes, my dear?” 

“What time is the color wheel if the pointer is at the complimentaries of purple?” 

“Hmm…” Jervis stroked his chin in deep thought, and tapped his foot. “Well that depends, which complimentaries…green or yellow?”

You open your mouth to respond before you close it again. Now you had to ponder your own question. “...yellow…”

“I would surmise that would be dusk! Or perhaps midday! Yellow is bountiful during those times, its a must!” 

You shrugged, satisfied with his answer. “That’s brilliant! Thanks Jervy!” 

“Don’t mention it, my dear. It was rather fun!”