#riddlebird fic

[philosopherking1887]

Part 1 (season 3, mayoral era): Ed asks Oswald why he hasn't gotten surgery to repair his injured leg, and finds his answer unsatisfying.

Part 2 (season 5, post-battle): When the eye injury Oswald took during the battle for Gotham makes surgery unavoidable, Ed once again raises the question of the other surgery he hasn't been willing to get.

When I wrote the first part, I didn't intend to add a second part; and when I started writing the second part, I didn't intend it to culminate in a first kiss, but here we are.

[evansdoodles]

she swallowed the lump in her throat and sat on the bed. “In my cousin’s home country,  Romania, they call ‘em Vampires y’know..! They disguise themselves as Young men, but are blood-sucking, flesh-eating monsters!”Alright, what..? How could he have even thought to listen to her? “I’ve heard enough.” He clicked his tongue as he walked away from her. “I beg you to not insult our guest with such silly nonsense.”With a swift motion, the man picked up the breakfast tray and made his way to the kitchen, his servant right at his heels. “Sir, I must insist, I have a terrible, terrible gut feeling about this ordeal. Perhaps it’s better if-“She couldn’t finish the phrase that the person of their discussion was now in view.

A little piece for my fic!!

It’s been hard to keep up with writing and drawing, unfortunately summer is when I am most busy…!

Still, here’s the link if you’d like to read it yourself :)

[m-o-o-n-f-i-r-e]

my favorite type of ship is 100% the ones where they have unending love and devotion and trust for each other. would do anything for the other. would do whatever the other said without question because they know that whatever it is, their partner knows what they are doing and they would trust them with their life. they could move mountains with their love. they would kill for their love. they would do anything for their love. everyone in the room can see that they are connected on the deepest level and will never be separated. nothing can break them apart. they are always on the same level, they know every thought that goes through their lovers head. when they are in a room together they control everything that happens. when they are apart they would tear up the earth to find each other. they would kill god for their love and give gods throne to their love. that kind of love is the best shit

[arabriddler]

NYGMOBBLEPOT DAY FIC LIST

a list of my nymobs fics:

** AUs / can be read independently from Gotham TV show

Lilies and Graveyards ( 18.11.2022 )

one-shot, 1919 words

After surviving getting shot by Edward Nygma, and after getting back on his feet. The first thing one Oswald Cobblepot does is visit his mother’s grave. He did not expect to meet Ed so soon.

Night Terrors ( 22.01.2023 )

one shot, 1356 words

Oswald finds Edward up and awake at 3 am trying to make coffee. Had tries to get him to sleep.

Riddler’s Poems ( 23.02.2023 )

one shot, 4992 words

While building the submarine, Oswald thinks Ed should write poems, Ed thinks that’s absurd.

hunger in a bird cage ( 29.06.2023 )

one shot, 2150 words

What if Ed and Oswald were put in the same cage by The Court Of Owls, can you imagine what would’ve happened if there were no bars to stop Oswald from grabbing the man who killed him?

Time Stops and Teeth Sinking In ( 9.9.2023 ) **

7 chapters, 12,210 words

Edward Nygma graduated with a degree in Meta Physics and has talent and drive when it comes to making children's books, but his books didn't turn out well, he lost his job and is currently trying to figure out how to pay rent. Enter a letter from one Oswald Cobbelpot who's requesting Edward to draw a picture book for his son.

Philophobia ( 21.04.2023 - 01.12.2023 )

44 chapters, 102,398 words

heart renewed with hatred and fury, Oswald Cobblepot carries out his plan to get revenge on Ed by leading him to the very place that destroyed it all, the pier. He knows Ed, and perfectly planned and predicted it all, except Edward Nygma surprises him once again...

The Penguin And The Peacock ( 22.1.2024 - ) **

on-going

When he was a child living on The Falcone estate, Oswald saw a peacock. He thought it’s beautiful in the way strange things are, even if it bit him and made his hand bleed. Many years later, while plotting for the fall of Don Falcone, Oswald met a man who’s beautiful in the way strange things are, even if he kissed him and made his heart bleed.

[questionlark]

0 days without incident

[zebrashavestripes]

"I was just playing the game."

From the new chapter of I Gave You My Heart And I Don't Want It Back.

[oswaldcobblepotenbyson]

This is critical and very important to me 💀 pls respond if you read on AO3

Like, should I be patient and publish the fic as a one shot when it's done? Or just post 4 2.5k chapters?? Help

[too-much-heaven-on-his-mind]

I wanna cry, how do I explain that I ship Oswald and The Riddler MORE than I ship Oswald and Edward 😭

LIKE, I'm gonna have to write a fanfic just to make my point because AO3 doesn't understand me when I try to look for a Oswald/Riddler with Jealous Ed on the background fic 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

PLEASE IF ANYONE KNOWS ABOUT A FIC LIKE THAT PLEEEEEASEEE SEND THE LINK, I CANT- I CAN'T FIND ANY AND I'M CRYING RIGHT NOW I NEED IT 😭😭😭😭 I'M STARVING PLEASE

[forevercryingoverdccharacters]

Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Gotham (TV) Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Oswald Cobblepot/Edward Nygma Additional Tags: Fluff, Non-Sexual Intimacy, Bathing/Washing, Bruises, Post-Canon Series: Part 2 of Ten Years of a Heart Behind Prison Bars Summary:

For one blissful second, Ed is in an entirely different life. This isn’t just one night they get together, this is their life. Oswald coming home late while Ed cooks. At least, some nights he’d cook. Other night it would be him coming home late. Or they’d come home together. Oswald steps off the elevator, his cane coming into view first, and Ed’s heart clenches.

(or, year two in "how the hell did they stay locked up for ten years?")

[arcanemoody]

Chapters: 10/10 Fandom: Gotham (TV) Rating: Explicit Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Oswald Cobblepot/Edward Nygma Characters: Oswald Cobblepot, Edward Nygma, Jim Gordon, Victor Zsasz, Arthur Penn Additional Tags: POV Third Person Limited, POV Oswald Cobblepot, S5 Oswald/S1 Edward, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Strangers to Lovers, No Man's Land, Bathing/Washing, Major Character Injury, Hard of Hearing Edward Nygma, Canon Disabled Character, Canon Queer Character, Mention of ASL, mild body horror, Dissociative Identity Disorder, Hard of Hearing Oswald Cobblepot, Police Brutality, Anal Fingering, Frottage, Body Worship Summary:

Oswald Cobblepot watched Haven burn and vowed to find the monster that did the deed. But, as the cataclysmic events of the last three months have taught him, a lot can change in the space of a few hours.

--

FINAL CHAPTER is up!

[philosopherking1887]

I initially put the following in a reblog comment on this post by @arabriddler, but I'm putting it in its own post because I wanted to add something but don't want to keep derailing that post, which was making a different point. Here's what that post said:

The way Ed’s sin is Pride and Oswald’s sin is gluttony, and the way Gluttony will always feed on The Other and Pride will always starve The Other, and for them to exist in the same space they have to feed and starve each other at the same time.

(This idea is discussed in their fic Philophobia, which I have been enjoying greatly.)

And then here's my comment:

I'm not sure whether Ed's sin (or vice, in less religious language) is Pride or Vanity -- a difference I think we don't recognize enough these days. The difference is in whether your feeling of self-worth depends heavily on being recognized and praised by others (Vanity) or not that much (Pride). Both Ed and Oswald believe in their own greatness, at least to some extent, even when it isn't recognized by others, and both are bothered by the lack of recognition. But I think Ed is a better candidate for Vanity and Oswald for Pride (in addition to Gluttony -- for money, power, and material luxuries) because Ed seems to crave attention for its own sake, while Oswald only wants certain kinds of attention, from specific people, and/or for specific purposes.

1. Oswald is showy when he needs to be, to demonstrate that he's someone to be reckoned with, but is also happy to operate covertly when that better suits his purpose. For Ed, the show IS the point, and he'll sometimes endanger or undermine his other goals for the sake of making a particular kind of show. Oswald, of course, also sometimes undermines his own long-term goals, but usually to satisfy a momentary emotional impulse.

2. Ed enjoys receiving praise from people in a position of authority, even if he considers himself superior to them (at least in intellect). He doesn't mind being in a subordinate position, serving someone else's aims, as long as he receives regular recognition and praise for his skill and usefulness (from Essen or Gordon in s1-2, Strange in late s2, Oswald in s2 and early s3, Lee in s4, or Lucius in s5). Oswald, by contrast, resents being treated as subordinate in any way, including being praised for his usefulness by Fish, Maroni, or Falcone in s1. Not all recognition is good, as far as he's concerned; he mostly wants recognition, in the form of respect or fear, as a sign of or a means to power. He also wants love from certain people; in s1 he does seem to want the kind of praise for usefulness that might reflect a subordinate position from Gordon specifically, which suggests that he regards that relationship as more than just a means to his own advantage.

What I wanted to add, because thinking about Oswald as Pride and Ed as Vanity really reminded me of it, was a link to this fic:

Here's an excerpt that sums up the basic thesis of the fic:

Ed wears layers, sure, but beneath them, he’s less of a person and more like a living reflection. Terrified of his own inconsistency. Fluid, yet in danger of shattering. And hellbent on glinting back at whatever faces him.  Over and over, Oswald finds pieces of this shimmer in Ed, and is more captivated by it as time goes by. Attracted to it, almost, in a delicately odd way. How Ed slithers out of the world’s grasp, even seems to slither out of his own grasp as he pours himself into the mould of the day, reluctant to stay in one shape for too long, too uncertain of his own identity to construct a permanent home and yet beautifully talented at building temporary shelters out of what he aspires to be at any given time. It’s a struggle Oswald has never experienced (–Oswald struggles more with the opposite, already knowing precisely who he is and where his beastly heart lies, being despised for it, and turning that shame inwards on himself–), so it’s a bit of a sad privilege to see Ed twist into so many forms, stolen and borrowed and handmade, just hoping to represent something worthy. Hoping to cast it out into the world and make it true, convincing everyone else of what he is as a detour to finally convincing himself.

The rest of the fic is just as gorgeous and insightful (and so is the rest of the author's work; all Gotham Riddlebird shippers should read all of it). It so beautifully captures the difference between Oswald's "vicious self-sufficiency" and Ed's existential need for an image to project and an audience to project it to -- made most starkly apparent in the fact that his Riddler aspect at first only appears as a reflection in mirrors. Ed is someone who exists only in being perceived, a reflection who desperately wants to be a real boy, while Oswald has more reality, more being, than he knows what to do with. That can be a beneficial symbiotic relationship if Oswald gives Ed enough attention, praise, and opportunities to shine, but it can also become a problem if Ed feels like he's hidden in Oswald's shadow... or if one of them is taking advantage of the other to get what he needs without giving enough in return.

There's another fic by that same author that illustrates a point similar to @arabriddler's about Vanity and Gluttony with heartbreaking incisiveness:

Summary: Ed craves the feeling of being needed, of being valued, more than anything. Only Oswald can give that to him.

And here's an excerpt:

He’s stuck on the way Oswald’s love feels: overwhelming, suffocating, and somehow complete despite all its missing parts. Their arrangement feels less like sex and more like holding each other underwater, spurring each other on because it’s the only way to feel what they want to feel. Ed is not quite ashamed of all this, but he’s not proud either. His idealised self wouldn’t be reaching for Oswald over and over just to feel whole, to add more fuel to his obsessive fantasies because he can’t even touch himself anymore without a fresh imprint of Oswald in his mind. He can’t feel good unless he feels wanted, and no one in the world pines for him like Oswald. No one ever could.  When it comes to their relationship, Oswald’s motivations are reassuringly transparent. He cares for Ed to the point of pain. He’s in love. Ed is unconcerned with love. All he really wants is to feel... The heat of Oswald’s gaze and the spark in his eyes that means he sees Ed, really sees him down to his core; the soft-hard press of his body against Ed’s own when Ed seeks him out and pleads to be held; the scratch of Oswald’s fingernails clasping like he’s clinging onto treasure.

Oswald's love seeks to devour Ed, but Ed feeds on the hunger itself and can't provide anything to satisfy it. It's not only that no one wants or needs Ed the way Oswald does; Oswald himself is a being made of want and need -- no one can want or need anything with as much heat and intensity as he does, so being wanted and needed by someone like that is irresistible to someone like Ed. Oswald is like a massive star with a gravity well that draws in everything around it, and Ed is a shiny planet that orbits to reflect its light but won't let itself be drawn in and absorbed.

[evansdoodles]

“Oh I’ll just make a silly doodle for the fic’s next chapter—“ WRONG.

Debating whether or not add Edward’s reflection on the knife,,

I don’t know what possessed me but,,, Wip, I guess!

Also, silly details!

Oswald’s + Gertrude’s portrait and Penguin Knife!

[evolve-rat]

Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Gotham (TV) Rating: Mature Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Oswald Cobblepot/Edward Nygma Characters: Oswald Cobblepot, Edward Nygma Additional Tags: Canon-Typical Violence, Canon Compliant, Episode: s04e15 The Sinking Ship The Grand Applause (Gotham TV) Summary:

just a little study of these scenes from s4e15. content warning: mentions Ed's fucked up mouth a couple times

[arabriddler]

@froot-batty

[scarecrowgolem]

Just One Normal Night Alone Together

Ed Nygma x Oswald Cobblepot

(This is my first fanfic in like 10 years pls be nice to me)

I wrote a domestic riddlebird fanfic about them having a romantic dinner together at home. Loosely based on gotham, but also some other things and just a fan interpretation of the characters and what I want to see. I'm just havin fun and want to see these bitches happy.

I've written them as t4t jewish butch lesbians cuz I am projecting here I'm ngl. I use he/she pronouns for Ed and he/they for Oswald. Anyways, interpret however u will in a respectful way and enjoy.

word count: 2363

It was a lovely friday evening, and maybe the first night in many that The Batman will finally be able to get some rest. Or, at least, a break from the Penguin and the Riddler. Crime is tough business, and even these two need a day off every now and then, and this one is special. It’s their date night.

Ed is in the kitchen cooking dinner for him and Oswald’s evening alone. She smiles and hums along to the cheery tunes coming from her old music tape she has playing in the background, while she focuses on getting just the perfect amount of sweet paprika in a beaker that he uses as a measuring cup. He has her own little cooking space in their home, which is more like a laboratory than a kitchen. She does use it as one from time to time for some of her projects, but of course, he keeps all the equipment used for experiments and such carefully separated from the cooking supplies.

Ed and Oswald have bickered over their difference in cooking styles in the past, and they still do sometimes, but in a more playful manner than before. Eddie likes to have very precise measurements of all of his ingredients when he cooks, as well as and especially when baking. 

Oswald personally finds exact measurements in cooking to be unnecessary, and their mother always told him that the best way to cook is to measure with your heart. Oswald has now come to understand that Eddie does measure with his heart too, it just happens that Ed’s heart is very particular with her spices.

Oswald is upstairs in their room, getting dressed up. He had just gotten done doing their hair and makeup after he had gotten out of a warm bath to soothe his aching. Oswald is aware that it’s their own house and that they’re alone together tonight, and that his lovely spouse would swoon at anything they wore (or didn't wear for that matter), but he still wanted to feel handsome and impress her. 

Eddie had asked Ozzy to stay outside the kitchen, since she wanted the meal to be a surprise, but it is near impossible to keep the fumes of a delicious dish confined to a single room, and familiar smells fill the home. Oswald already has a good guess what Ed is preparing, but they'll still pretend to keep wondering and act surprised when he comes downstairs, so that they can see that precious excited smile on Eddie’s face that he adores so much.

Oswald sits at the edge of his bed as he secures his leg brace, then takes his cane from beside him and stands up, taking a deep breath. They then head out of the room and make their way down the stairs to meet Ed in the dining room. Once Oswald is downstairs, he sets his cane aside nearby and takes a seat at their dining table. He gets there earlier than Ed, but he doesn't mind. 

Ozzy sits there and enjoys the ambiance of the muffled music in the distance and warm fragrance coming from the kitchen. There’s already two sets of silverware, neatly folded napkins, and wine glasses carefully placed at their seats at the table, along with an unopened bottle of red wine, and two unlit candles at the center between them. For a moment, Oswald considers opening the wine early while he waits for his lover, but decides against it, so that they can share the first taste together.

After a few minutes, Eddie could be heard scrambling out from the kitchen and up the stairs, mumbling to themself frantically. Oswald smiled and chuckled quietly to themself in adoration as they heard this and tapped their foot as they waited eagerly for his spouse to come back downstairs. Once Ed was ready, he sprinted downstairs and into the dining room.

“Oswald!” She exclaimed, then stopped to catch her breath. His eyes sparkled as he looked at her spouse who was sitting at the table, smiling at her.

“Well, hello, Eddie-darling!” Said Oswald, fondly. 

Ozzy dressed a bit lighter than usual tonight, but stunning nonetheless. He was dressed in a nice pair of black and violet plaid dress pants, a lavender satin blouse, and a dark robe with soft puffy feathers on it. They had been together for years now, but Eddie still blushed and grinned widely at the site of his beautiful spouse dressed up for an occasion. 

Ed was also dressed up in one of her green suits and a purple tie, that she had borrowed from Oswald years ago and never returned. Oswald doesn’t dare ask for it back anyways, since it looks so damn stunning on Eddie. She’s been growing his hair out too, and it’s been getting wavy and there was something new about the way she styled it tonight. Oswald stared up at her with a dreamy expression and if they were a cartoon, they'd have hearts floating above their head.

Eddie giggled and flapped his arms a little while bouncing on her feet lightly.

“Wow! You look so gorgeous- Well, you always do, but you know!” She told Oswald, with a big grin. 

Oswald smiled and laughed, “Oh, hush, you're the one to talk!” He responded, as he stood up. They hugged each other and shared a gentle kiss. 

“Oh, dinner is ready!” Ed said, “I'll go get that- Don’t go anywhere!” 

He gave Oswald a quick kiss on the forehead before going back to the kitchen to retrieve their meal. Oswald giggled and sat back down with a loving sigh.

Soon enough, Eddie came back with a rolling serving cart that had their covered plates and a fresh loaf of challah wrapped in a beautifully embroidered cloth. He set Oswald’s plate in front of where he was sitting, and then set her own plate at her side of the table, but didn't take a seat yet.

From the window, they could see that the sun hadn't set just yet, but was slowly sinking down towards the horizon. It was time to light candles and say shabbat blessings. 

It’s not all the time that they get a shabbat alone together away from all the chaos in this g-d forsaken city, so on the rare occasions that they do, they like to make the most of it. The traditions they share are one of the few things that keep them grounded and sane (Well, as much as is possible for the two of them, anyway). To feel human and happy, together, at least for just a night, is a blessing to them that they will always cherish.

Eddie lights the candles, and they both wave their hands in front of their closed eyes before saying the blessing over them. After the candle lighting, Ed starts to bounce up and down and dance towards Ozzy as she begins to sing Shalom Eleinu, and she gently lifts a shy Ozzy out of his chair and swings him around. Oswald laughs sheepishly and begins to sing along with him, and together they dance for a minute or so.

Once they’re done, they grin and laugh together happily and Ed goes to uncork the wine and fills one of the glasses. She begins to recite Kiddush and Oswald joins in. Once they have blessed the wine, Eddie takes a sip out of the glass and passes it to Ozzy, who does the same.

The wine is a deliciously rich and acidic pinot noir. Ed’s choice in wine adds more evidence to Oswald’s guess of what she had made for dinner. Eddie may have a habit of being a bit predictable, but Ozzy is charmed by it and tries not to think too much about the fact that tonight's surprise dinner won't be much of a surprise to him, but he’s sure he'll love what Ed has made nonetheless.

Finally, they bless the bread, tear off a piece each, and sit back down to enjoy. The challah is still warm and fluffy and tastes amazing, and Ed’s effort put into his baking definitely shows.

Eddie stares at Oswald eagerly as he removes the cover from his plate to reveal the goulash he had spent hours meticulously cooking. Oswald smiled. His guess was correct.

“Oh, Ed, wow! This looks delicious.” He said.

Ed’s smile widened and he waved her hands in victory. 

“I'm glad you think so! I tried to get it just right, and I feel like last time it could have been better, so I added more paprika, and-” she continued to ramble about her process for another minute while Oswald listened and looked up at her with loving eyes.

“Well anyways- I really hope you like it!” Eddie ended.

“Eddie, please, dear. All your meals turn out absolutely fantastic. Thank you.” Oswald said. 

They both say bracha, and then begin to eat. The meal was delicious and very nostalgic and comforting to Oswald. Of course, it was not the same as his mother’s, but inspired, and had it’s own charm to it. The texture is something new as well, for Eddie’s sake, which Ozzy doesn’t mind. Ed’s love really did show through his cooking in this meal of theirs. She seemed pleased with himself too.

“How is it?” Eddie asks.

Oswald smiles and nods, putting a finger up as they take a moment to finish chewing.

“It's perfect, Ed, thank you. I love it.” He says, happily.

Eddie grins widely and joyfully rocks in her chair. “Oh good, I'm really glad!”

They continue on with their meal, rambling and laughing together. At one point, Ed gets up to put on some music on their record player. After they have finished dinner, Eddie takes their plates back to the kitchen and hurries back with dessert; pumpkin pie, and a fresh mulled wine to go with it.

Eddie explains that he wanted to keep dessert simple and decided on pumpkin pie because it’s the fall, and Ozzy showers her in thanks and compliments, knowing doing so will make her blush.

They spent more time together at the table, having loving banter, and playing guessing games. After dessert, they argued playfully over who was going to clean up, and eventually gave up and decided to work together. Once they've taken their dishes to the kitchen and tidied up, they head to their piano room.

Eddie plays whatever song comes to his mind, and Ozzy sits next to him and sings along, or hums and makes up words along with the tune if he doesn't know the words, or if the song doesn't already have any words to go with it. Ozzy’s improvised singing gets Ed to giggle, and Ozzy laughs too.

After a while, Oswald gets up and hugs Ed from behind, holding her tightly for a long moment and Ed plays a little slower, then eventually stops to soak in the embrace. Ozzy kisses him on the top of her head and runs their fingers through his hair. 

“I love you, Eddie-darling.” Ozzy tells her.

Ed hums and gently takes Oswald’s hand and kisses it.

“I love you too, dear.” Ed responds, fondly. 

Eddie turns around and hugs Oswald tightly, then looks up at them with a warm smile. 

“Would you like to dance with me?” He asks.

Oswald smiles and kisses him.

“I'd love to.”

And so, Eddie takes Oswald's hands as he gets up and they both go to pick a record to listen to. Normally, there would be some bickering between the two of them when picking one out together, but, surprisingly, none tonight. 

Ed fumbled with the record player and eventually the music began to play and she giggled with excitement once it did. They swayed to the music, took each other by the hands, and began dancing together, slowly. It took them a bit to decide who would lead, and they agreed that they'd take turns and switch after each song. 

They spent the next half-hour there, dancing, chatting, and drinking wine. At one point, they stopped to take a break, and in that time, Oswald brought out a joint to smoke. They half-jokingly debated a bit about it breaking shabbat, being that they would have to light it, but ended on deciding it’s probably fine, since Oswald smokes to relieve his chronic pain. Eddie lights it for them, though. He’s supporting his wife, after all. 

Plus, neither of them are that observant anyways, but they like to at least try to be on days like these when they have enough peace to do so. Their happy days. 

They smoke through Oswald’s long cigarette holder that they own simply for the aesthetic, and Eddie has to admit she looks incredibly hot with it. Once they've finished, they hold each other and tell jokes for a few minutes, then decide they want to dance more, so they help each other up and get back to their waltz.

They chat a little more, and then after a while, their dancing gets slower and they become silent, sinking into each other and getting lost in the music.

Tumbala, tumbala, tumbalalaika…

 Ozzy closes his eyes, resting his head on Eddie's chest. Ozzy can feel the vibrations, as she hums along to the song. 

Meydl, meydl, ch'vel bay dir fregen,

Vos kan vaksn, vaksn on regn?

Vos kon brenen un nit oyfhern?

Vos kon benken, veynen on trern?

The riddle in the song reminds Oswald of Ed, and it makes them smile. He can tell Ed likes this part of the song too, with the way he sways more and sings along quietly to himself.

Narisher bkcher, vos darfstu fregn?

A shteyn ken vaksn, vaksn on regn.

Libeh ken brenen un nit oyfhern.

A harts kon benken, veynen on trern.

Now they're both singing along, to the words they know, and humming to the words they don't know. They laugh quietly together and as the song ends, they hold each other tightly and share a gentle, passionate kiss.

They pull away and smile at each other.

“Let's go to bed.” Oswald says.

Ed kisses him on the forehead. 

“Of course, dear.”

[a-library-of-old]

If I ask really nicely does someone wanna help me by looking at my first chapters rough draft and help me figure my ideas out while they still eat me...I promise I'm asking reeeeally nicely