#also now I'm really curious about the original I think these bad things were better there so I'm planning to read the manga later

[ninjagobythenumbers]

Bechdel Testing Ninjago

So, a little while ago I did the Bechdel test on Ninjago because I've always seen the show as sort of an interesting case study in how women are portrayed in cartoons. Of course, I'm aware the Bechdel test originated as a joke and something passing the Bechdel test doesn't make it feminist/not. Rather, or for me at least, it's an indication of how deficient female representation can be at an aggregate scale. As a way to analyze Ninjago, I feel it works as it shows how female representation over the course of the show. If you're interested I'll now discuss my thoughts on how the analysis went season by season. DISCLAIMER: I did this for fun.

The pilot was easy. Nya's the only one, so test failed across the board. The first episode that passed the test was when Jay's parents came to visit. Yay Edna! Mystake does show up in episode 7 but, I don't count it as she has not yet been named. 12&13 had a kid's mom in a bus which I decided was enough cus hey, Mom's a name she uses.

Here's where we really get going. Patty Keys, their real estate agent continues to show up through seabound as a background character, which is pretty cool imo. Episode 5, Mystake finally gets named. Episode 6 was huge for my chart as it's the introduction of Misako. You'd think episode 7 is when her and Nya talked but that's actually when Nya and Gayle had a lil convo. From then on I spent the episodes just staring at the Nya and Misako thinking "talk to her talk to her talk to her." Fortunately, when they did speak, Nya and Misako would be discuss like science, maps, and fate of the world so I never ran into a problem with rule 3. That is, until Rebooted.

The good news is Pixal's here so it'll be years before we fail rule 1 again. The bad news is we've got a love triangle so goodbye rule 3. Nya actually talked to her student, Sally, and Pixal quite often but it was so often about Jay or Cole so I would just be scouring the episode for a single exchange where they talked about anything else. During the Tournament, Nya, Pixal, Skylor, and Misako were all in different groupings and it was rare that Tox or Camille would say something so no rule 2/3 successes until late season.

The good news is, the love triangle is over so we're back to rule 2 usually meaning rule 3. The bad news is, Pixal's in Zane's head so we're back to hoping Misako and Nya say something to eachother. Nya usually shared her scenes with Wu, Ronin, and Jay during these seasons so chances were few and far between. However, unlike the first few seasons where the default was male, we're now getting some female henchmen (Bansha and Dogshank) so that made things easier.

Thank you for being in Day of the Departed Edna Walker. Early Hands of Time was tough because Nya, Misako, and Commander Macchia were rarely in the same scenes. In the latter half of the season though, we thankfully see the return of Pixal. Maya also helped us with some wins.

What a breath of fresh air. Thanks to Harumi & Ultraviolet's introduction, Pixal's return, Mystake's upgrade to a reoccuring character, and Nya & Misako's continued support, failing even rule 3 is pretty rare during the Oni Trilogy. We run into some complications during Hunted because though we have Skylor and the aforementioned characters in Ninjago and Faith & Jet Jack in the First Realm, sometimes people don't talk to eachother. And that's ok. Overall, smooth sailing.

Ah??!? What happened. Worry not. I realized this was, in part, because the Oni Trilogy had 20 minutes worth of chances for women to speak to eachother, these were only 10 minute episodes. So, for the sake of comparable units of analysis, I considered each pair of episodes to be 1 episode. I'll show both charts until DR.

It looks a little better, but it's still not at Oni Trilogy levels. Still, I'd be curious to see what the test would look like if I dissected the earlier episodes into 10 minute chunks because it's probably not a great sign if 10 v 20 minutes makes such a big difference. Ok, proceeding. The Fire Chapter was usually pretty successful because Pixal, Aspheera, or Nya would usually end up talking at one point or another. Gayle even helped at one point. The Ice chapter usually achieved successes through Nya talking to Sorla. In one episode, I counted the Preminent's roars as conversation with Pixal. The Ice Chapter had quite a few failures largely because, as in previous seasons, all the women were split up.

Despite the fact that Nya was one of the longest lived ninja, Prime Empire has total failures at levels not seen since before season 2. This is largely because for the most part, Pixal and Nya are never in the same episode. Racer 7 helps but she was only there for a bit. I should point out that I feel like the 10 minute era is really when Pixal starts feeling like part of the team to me. She's always part of homebase meetings and always plays a key part in missions. Alas, if she's not in episodes with Nya, that's not going to show up on my chart. It's a reminder of the fact this test doesn't show substance.

Master of the Mountain is similar to the other seasons of its era. The fact the 10 minute era tended to show its plots episode by episode (ex: Ep 3 = Plot A, Ep 4 = Plot B, Ep 5 = Plot C) rather than all in one really takes a toll on the test. For the most part, Nya and Vania were our only chances for success and it was rare they'd share an episode. We also had the rare rule 3 failure with the Queen of the Munce episode. Thanks Jay. The Island only had Nya until they found Misako, so it was struggling even more.

It feels right to see all green when it's a Nya season. In the beginning of Seabound, they put Nya, Pixal, and Maya on a boat together and by jove it made things easy. Late season was a bit trickier because Nya was on her own journey. Crystalized had Skylor, Pixal and some ressurected villains saving the day. Late Crystalized is the way it is because it had so, so many different groupings. I have a chart based on groupings and this season was such a challenge.

I really felt the difference with Dragons Rising. I mean, you can see the difference, but it was even more clear when doing my data collection because it was just so easy. Rather than grabbing at scraps of dialogue like I had to do in early seasons, there was often a wealth of more meaningful conversation between female characters to choose from. As with the Oni Trilogy, a female villain with a female henchman makes things easy because they scheme together. We also had Nya and Sora on a joint quest. Funnily enough, there is a rare rule 3 failure because Sora and Kreel only talked about Kreel's friend in one episode. Episode 17 had the classic split up issue and actually would've failed entirely if not for Agent Underwood, which is actually a great example of my next point. You can really tell how male is no longer the default because not only is there the introduction of all the fantastic new female main characters, but also there's plenty of random female characters scattered throughout. I haven't seen DRS2P2 yet but I expect it'll be more of the same. I should mention I also made a chart with the reverse (two named men in an episode who talk about eachother about something besides a woman). Only three episodes fail in any capacity. (Say thank you to the Akita, Pixal, and Harumi solo episodes). If you read this whole thing, thank you. I had a lot of fun doing it. Let me know if there's any other charts I can do!

[citricacidprince]

I don't know if anyone already asked this question, but I need to get it out of my brain.

What do you imagine a meeting between the Stan twins from your version of Relativity Falls and the original Stan twins would be like? (before or after the Weirdmageddon, although I'm more curious about the after lol)

Oooough the idea of the Relativity Baby Stans meeting the OG Old Men Stans makes me wanna combussssst!!!

The possibilities!!! 💥💥💥

(I’ll be using full names for the OG twins (Stanley & Stanford) and nicknames for the Relativity twins (Lee & Ford) for the sake of consistency lmao)

If it’s pre-Weirdmageddon for both the OG show and Relatively falls I can imagine the Stan’s are having a great time while the Ford’s are also having a kinda fun time but it’s a little…

You see, if you thought Stanford was projecting with Dipper when he was trying to get him to stay in Gravity Falls, you can only IMAGINE how bad it’s gonna get when he meets Ford. Stanford would unintentionally make the Relativity twin’s bond even more strained because he would confirm everything Ford has been told by his teachers and his father, that he needs to be his own person and Lee is holding him back. On the cuter side I like to think Stanley would give Lee a sweet pep talk about not letting anyone push him around or let him feel belittled, then he’d teach Lee how to throw a mean left hook! Who says you can’t be your own father figure, hmm?

If it’s post-Weirdmageddon for the OG show but not Relativity Falls, the Stan boys, again, are having a great time, even more-so now that Stanley has this cool Sailor aesthetic going on for him! This time Stanford would very gently tell Ford that he shouldn’t listen to what anyone else says, especially their father. They don’t have anything to prove to anyone. And I think Ford would actually listen if it was Stanford telling him this. After all, who knows you better than yourself?

If it’s post-Weirdmageddon for Relativity Falls and not the OG show, good fucking luck separating the Relativity twins! They are attached at the hip and if Stanford ever tried to gently ease them apart Ford just might bite his arm! The entire thing is an extremely sore subject and even though Lee and Stanley are used to mean spirited jabs and back handed compliments, if Stanford even as so grumbles something slightly mean about Stanley or Lee under his breath Ford will not hesitate to explode on him. Lee always has to tell Ford that it’s alright while Stanley can’t help but find their attachment to each other sweet and nostalgic, something he really misses. Stanford can’t understand why Ford seems to be so protective over Lee, 10 times more than he was as a child, and the two refuse to talk about it. (Don’t worry Stanford, you’ll find out soon enough :] )

If it’s post-Weirdmageddon for both the OG show and Relativity Falls, then oooooh boy I wanna combust on the spot!!!!

I can so vividly see the older men lighting up at the younger versions of them, nostalgia and ‘Oh man were we really that small?’ running through both their minds as they happily chat with the cute little goobers. Then I can see the horror on Stanley and Stanford’s faces when they realize these two kids had to go through the same twin swap and subsequent mind wipe they had to go through. They’re just little kids, just a little older than Mabel and Dipper, they didn’t deserve that.

When Ford’s hands shake and he can’t stop tears from falling down his round cheeks when he gets flashes to himself holding the memory gun to his brother’s head, Stanley’s the one to gently cover the kid’s polydactyl hands with his own and grumble soft comforting words until the kid is about to fall asleep from how hard he was crying.

When Lee has a huge lapse in memory and takes a while to remember once again, Stanford holds Lee close to his chest and isn’t able to stop silent tears from falling down his face. The silent tears only get worse when Lee, despite not even able to remember who Stanford is at the moment, tries to comfort and wipe away the older man’s tears.

These boys make me soooo ill I wanna combust :]

[miraculouslbcnreactions]

Tell me, what did you think of ML when you first discovered it? I thought Chloe's arc in season 2 was decent for this type of show, even if it could have been better. I also never took Marinette's obsessive behavior over Adrien that seriously until it started getting really grating.

My first interaction with ML consisted of me looking for kids shows to watch in Spanish, finding Miraculous on Netflix, watching maybe three minutes of The Bubbler, and then turning the show off because it didn't seem very good. That's the episode that starts with Marinette freaking out about giving Adrien a birthday present and it gave me the impression that Miraculous was doing the classic female-protagonist-pines-for-the-male-protagonist-who-barely-even-knows-her-name trope, which is not a trope that I'm into. I'm way too ace for that shit. This is the scene in question as I looked it up to make sure I was remembering it correctly:

Marinette: Ah! (she stops right in front of Adrien.) Um, he-- Hey! (she gets nervous as she holds her gift behind her back.) Adrien:(surprised, shyly) Hey. Chloé:(as she watches what's happening outside) Wait! Am I seeing what I think I'm seeing? Don't tell me it's Adrien's birthday?! Sabrina:(checks her tablet, gets surprised, and makes excusing noises while smiling sheepishly.) Chloé:(facepalms) Ugh, do I have to do everything myself? Seriously, what are you good for? (walks toward Adrien.) Marinette:(nervously) I, uh, I wanted to, umm, gift you a make-– I mean, gift you a give I made-- I mean... Chloé:(yawns while Marinette is talking and then shoves her away) Out of the way. (she acts sweet.) Happy birthday, Adrien! (throws herself onto him and gives him a kiss on the cheek.) Mwah! Adrien:(surprised) Yeah, thanks Chlo.

This backs up my vague memory that my initial assumption was that Adrien and Chloé were friends while Adrien didn't know who Marinette was because he was clearly much more comfortable with Chloé. Same goes for Nino who was talking to Adrien earlier in this scene.

I'm not sure when this first watch occurred, but I know it was at least a year before I revisited the show. I made a friend in another fandom and that friend was transitioning out of Miraculous, but they had a lot of really good Miraculous fanart and even some fanfic which got me curious as I couldn't understand why anyone would be into the show given my dismal initial impression.

On this friend's recommendation, my SO and I started watching Miraculous an episode or two at a time. I was pretty unimpressed with the actual show, but I started reading early fandom fanfic between our watching sessions and that kept me interested enough to keep watching. My initial impression of the show didn't really change until we watched Origins. That's the episode that really made me fall in love with the canon characters as it took everything about the show and elevated it. The crushes had depth! The Chloé/Adrien thing wasn't just the bitchy rich girl going after the popular boy! Gabriel was confirmed to be the big bad! Things were suddenly going places and that honestly wasn't surprising.

It's incredibly common for kids shows to have lackluster first seasons where they don't really commit to anything major re plot because they're just testing the waters to see if they'll be green lit for more seasons. Because of this, I was under the impression that Origins must have been when they got green lit and season two was going to do the standard kids show thing where they really get to dive into the plot and characters in a big way now that they're making money. This assumption was backed up by the addition of the new heroes to the show's intro.

For the first half of season two, I was invested as it seemed like we were finally getting seasonal arcs. Chloé seemed to be getting set up for some sort of character arc, which I was all for as I enjoy a good mean girl arc. We also had some tension brewing between our heroes with Fu favoring Marinette, a dynamic that felt more accidental than planned since it only happened because Marinette found the grimoire at the end of season one. I thought all of that was going to come to a head with Chloé's Queen Bee debut as things had seemingly been set up for Chloé to be Adrien's pick for a Miraculous.

Then Queen Bee actually happened and my excitement quickly faded. I still cannot think of a less interesting way for Chloé to get and use the bee. No one gives it to her and she outs herself on national television right away? Talk about wasting an idea. Clearly this had just been a one-off thing done so that the show could drive up hype for season two based on promo images of Chloé as a hero.

But it wasn't a one off thing. For some reason, they kept bringing Queen Bee back and that's when I knew we were in for a bad time because that should have never happened. It especially shouldn't have happened when Marinette was giving out the miraculous. I could maybe see a setup where Adrien gives Chloé a second chance, but Marinette trusting Chloé made no sense:

Marinette: I must choose someone who's not impressed by people in power. Who can help me trap Malediktator. Huh?! Of course! That's it. (reaches for the Miraculous of the Bee) Wait, what am I thinking? (facepalms)

Yeah, what are you thinking? Alya was your first choice for the bee, she isn't impressed by people in power, and she wasn't hit by Malediktator, so go grab her! Why would you pick Chloé?

Long story short, I kept watching because the show wasn't terrible, my SO enjoyed hearing me dunk on it as we watched it, and I was really enjoying the fan content, but I didn't have much faith in canon after the midpoint of season two and I continually lost faith as the seasons progressed. I never pictured it getting as bad as seasons five, but I only had hopes for Miraculous to be truly good for about 2 weeks as that's how long it took us to get from Origins to the Queen Bee mess. I was also disappointed by Alya and Nino's hero journeys. I expected them to be chosen for grander reasons. As is, it felt like they only got recruited because their loved ones were in danger.

Since you brought up Marinette's crush, I'll end by saying that I have never been a fan of that style of crush-based humor (once again, way too ace for that shit), but it didn't bother me in a serious way because it was very obviously meant to be humorous. I just suffered through the jokes when they happened and then moved on as there was no reason to dwell on them. It probably helped that I was reading a lot of fanfic and even the people who love the show generally agree that Marinette's crush should be played down in more serious stories.

The only time Marinette's crush bothered me was Derision as that episode straight up destroyed her character. It also made the writers look awful because they made Kim the bad guy for laughing at Marinette's behavior, but we'd just spent over four seasons being told Marinette's behavior was a joke, so what is the lesson here? Are we all supposed to feel guilty for laughing at a trauma response we didn't know was a trauma response? Are the writers saying that trauma is funny? How can you be so tone deaf?

[tokyo-tower-symbolism]

I've been meaning to get into the re:live game story for a while now, but I don't know how necessary the event stories are in comparison to the main and school stories...

do you have a recommended reading order for main story and events if the timeline makes them interspersed?

Uhh, there was this one good google doc that had a bunch of stuff like what stories were important for each character, but I cannot find that right now so I'll do my best from memory but honestly I might miss a couple things so my bad.

Edit: thank you @pallastronomy for finding the doc in question, i really wanted to read that again too

To read it you can go to the wikia, read it on karth.top, or look up the parts on Youtube. That last one might be the best since you'll get the full visual novel experience.

So first off I would suggest reading the first part of the story, so Main Story chapters 1-6. Well, suggest is a strong word. I think those chapters kinda suck, but I guess they're necessary for the premise and to introduce the characters? But then again they abandon the original premise half way in favor of the performance festival so whatever. And if you want a better introduction to the characters you should read the School Stories (ignoring SJH) and also maybe watch Shoujo Cante All Starlight. So really I don't suggest you read those chapters but

I think at this point you are can read the event stories from "Hello to Halloween" to "Surprise! Rehearsal Friends!"

And you don't need to read them all, but they're fun! I couldn't really tell you which ones are super important to the plot, sorry about that. Honestly my personal opinion at this point is to just pick a couple characters you like to follow and read their stories. You can see who participates in each one on the Revue Starlight wikia

Plus, character card bond stories! Each event has a couple gacha cards they're trying to sell, and sometimes they're not super related to the story, but sometimes they are. If someone references something that happened off screen, it either happened in an earlier event or in the bond card, but I'd still only read the bond cards once you're done reading the event is over since otherwise they can be spoilers. Just think of those as prequels instead of preludes.

Then at this point you can read Main Story Chapters 7-11. And I really do think you should read these since they are juicy. There's a new plot and we really get to dive deep into the ReLive characters and see their individual pasts and why they now stand on stage. It's great.

Now for the Event Stories, feel free to read any story from "Starry Diamond Tragic Orion" up until "Royal Retainer"

Although now I gotta bring up some caveats. Anything with Seiran is not going to matter to the main plot of ReLive, and if you're curious about them, then that gets into Stage Play Territory which is much easier to follow but not in ReLive.

And honestly same with the Seisho only stories. They're fun, don't get me wrong, but they kinda don't affect the developments of the cast at all.

Starry Diamond is a live show that had some Revues, so some of the relive events are just rehashings of those. Except Venus & Cupid Story, which is a sequel to Zeus no Chuusai from the Starry Diamond Live, and that revue is actually super important to the Yumeoji Sisters's story but it is not in ReLive.

And once you've had your fill of those stories, you can start reading Main Story Chapters 12-18, Arcana Arcadia. And this one is really good. Iirc, the main revue starlight writer came in for these parts. There's some info that directly leads into the movie. And it's honestly great.

But the issue is that there are intermission bond stories that need to be read in the middle of the chapters. If you are reading it online that can be kind of pain, but in the game I think it's in the right order? I could not say for sure since I don't actually play it. Anyways, here's the vague order according to the wikia, but I'm not 100% on this

Chapter 12: 1-2

Chapter 13: Tower, Hermit, Empress, 1-3, High Priestess, 4-5, Magician, 6-9, Hanged Man, Strength, 10-15

Chapter 14: Wheel of Fortune, Chariot, 1-2, Lovers, 3-14, Faith, Hierophant, 15

Chapter 15: 1-2, Devil, Sun, Justice, 3-15

Chapter 16: Death, Charity, 1-15

Chapter 17: Temperance, 1, Fool, 2-4, World, Judgement, 5-15

Chapter 18: Hope, 1-9, Emperor, 10-14, 15/Moon

So yeah, after this you have basically free reign to read the remaining event stories. The next big ongoing plot seems to be about Siegfeld Junior High, but that one also isn't really connected to the previous stories at all.

Also some cards have connecting bond stories even without events, such as the Frontier Rangers, Orpheus, Camelot, Snow White, and Yin-Yang.

But for real, I think the best way to get into the story is to read the main story and then see what characters you like. Then you can read along all their bond stories and events that they star in, and maybe you'll find other characters that stand out. If you are missing any information, usually characters will reference whatever they are talking about, so you won't be completely lost.

So yeah, I hope you have fun with the relive story! It touches on a lot of the themes from the show and honestly I just really liked seeing the characters again. And also Arcana Arcadia is great, just so great.

[aphroditesswan]

Guess who's backkkk! Me ofc <3

New request! :)

This request is idk probably weird! But ur my favorite! Can I ask for a reader who speaks another language but Is fluent in English. (I speak Spanish) and for example reader is speaking English but mixes it up with there other native language? Like I speak Spanglish (mix between Spanish and English) I hope you understand what I'm saying 🙁

But with danganronpa characters! (I'm a multifandom person) with kokichi and other characters u love! Can be either female or male characters! Have a nice dayyyy <3

déjate llevar 

danganronpa v3 characters x gn! reader 

warnings: translator spanish, kokichi. 

summary: your native language slips a bit while with your classmates 

genre: fluff, crack 

notes: i’m a no sabo kid so please excuse the terrible translator spanish 🙏  also these r the v3 characters that i actually like so like,, there’s not a lot. 

requested: yes! by my fav requester no less

kaede 

oh she is on you about it, but not in a bad way. she listens intently to anything you’re saying, thinking maybe she can get kiibo to translate it later. she ultimately fails, simply forgetting how exactly you said it and gets the weirdest translation ever and ends up almost malfunctioning kiibo. 

“whhhat are you doing?” you had asked, walking in on a very confused kiibo and a disappointed kaede. “oh uhm,, i was asking kiibo about something that uhm, i heard earlier!” “translation,, my chicken smacked it’s nightlight in the face.” upon hearing kiibo, you realize two things. 1. kaede was trying to translate something you had said 2. she was absolutely terrible at spanish pronunciation. 

shuichi 

he’s curious, that’s for sure, but he doesn’t exactly know how to ask you what you had said. he thinks that either you’d think he was dumb or you’d blatantly ignore him. oh the over thinker you are, saihara. like maki, he’s writing down everything you say that he wants to know, except he has no plans of talking to you about it. if he doesn’t have a pen and paper, it’s a mental note in his mind and thank the gods he’s infinitely better at spelling and pronunciation than kaede. 

“whatcha writing, shuichi? i’m curious.” you’d said, and yet again another thing he’d have to write down. “it’s nothing, don’t worry. just a couple of notes.” he had written down your latest phrase, taking the sticky note off and folding it, putting it in his pocket for later. “really? i could help you know-“ “no! i mean,, i appreciate it, i really do, but i don’t need any help, really.” “you sure?” “of course, no worries.” you then smile at him, shrugging and going back to your original task which required you to leave the room for just a bit. he sighed, slumping his shoulders in defeat. stupid shuichi, that could’ve been his chance to ask about phrases. his pockets are filled with folded up sticky notes of the things you say, and now he’ll have to search through an outdated dictionary for answers. good luck with that, saihara. 

maki 

immediately thinks that whatever you said, it was some sort of code. she’d glare at you from wherever she was, leaving poor you to question what the hell you did wrong. you wouldn’t know she was following you and listening to every small thing you said in your native language until you were alone and turned around from looking at something in your lab, seeing maki less than a foot in front of you. 

“ah- maki, what did you need? i didn’t even hear you come in…” you put down the item you had on a nearby desk, trying to back up a bit. “this. what do they mean?” she presented a notebook to you, listing all the spanish phrases you’d said out of instinct in the last couple hours. “ohhh… well for instance that first one means ‘i am surrounded by imbeciles.’ if that helps you.” you smile a bit, already catching onto the fact she thought it was something dangerous and thinking it was just a bit entertaining. 

kokichi 

somehow fucking knows spanish. and he’s listening for it too, already discerning from the slightest slip of an accent, that nobody else had noticed, that english most certainly wasn’t your first language much less japanese. 

“no puedes hablar en serio. te juro que me pones de los nervios más que nadie aquí.” you’d said as kokichi bothered you with the most useless thing, and trust me he knew what he was doing, for the nth time today. “heyy, that’s not nice to say, now is it?” he’d responded back in perfect spanish, smirking to himself as he followed behind you. you hadn’t noticed until you continued cursing at him in spanish (the same way you’d later realize was much like your mother) and then you stopped dead in your tracts, slowly turning your head to the smug kokichi. “what.” he flashed you that cheshire cat smile, and you swear that if it was possible he’d have the same powers as him. “what, not in the mood to talk anymore now, are you? be careful what you say, amigoooo!” he taunted as he walked backwards and left you with your eye twitching. “kokichi! get back here!” you looked around with furrowed brows, now speed walking towards kokichi with a glare. earlier, you had said some not nice things in a moment of anger, but hopefully he didn’t remember all of them. he couldn’t have, right? either way, he can’t run from you forever, and when you catch him he is absolutely, positively done for. 

kiibo 

offers to be a translator for you. you could say the most diabolical thing on earth in spanish and he’s looking like 😦 but would still offer to translate what you said like you MEANT for somebody to actually understand you. 

“su multa como el infierno, yo personalmente sería bussing abajo sin dudarlo.” “EXCUSE ME. would you like me to translate your current sentence?” “ABSOLUTELY NOT KIIBO???” you have half a mind to shut him off just because he offered to translate it. hopefully, JUST HOPEFULLY, kokichi wasn’t around to hear that because then you’d really be in trouble, but if kiibo keeps offering to translate your deep dark secrets you say in spanish he better watch out. ricky when i catch you ricky. 

not a lot of the v3 characters interest me enough to write abt them lowk 😭

[kingchad]

I havent kept up with the actors social media, I am curious - could you link to or explain how Jed Goodacre interprets Chad vs. how you interpret Chad?

oh, yes, gladly! There's an observable shift between D1 Chad and D2/3 Chad. D1 Chad is a lot more pointed and deliberately mean. D2/3 Chad is a comedy side character who is incidentally mean because he doesn't recognize when he's being insensitive.

my personal speculation is that when Sarah Jeffrey had scheduling conflicts and couldn't be on set for D2, the original intended plotline for Chad had to change, and leading to him becoming a harmless gag character for levity. It also doesn't hurt that Jedidiah Goodacre is a HUGE Jim Carrey fan and pretty clearly enjoys any opportunity to improv/be silly on set. (If you're familiar with Carrey's work at all, D2/3 Chad is definitely giving that.) I suspect that Jedidiah's affinity for comedy on set pushed the Chad character even MORE in the direction of harmless sidekick than maybe was originally intended. If Audrey had been in D2, Chad might have been more similar to his D1 self throughout the series.

Of Chad, Jedidiah gives a pretty consistent take whenever he does give one. The quotes I'll pull are "[Chad] always thinks that [he is] doing the right thing, when sometimes [he is] not smart enough to understand [he is] dead wrong"* and "I feel like the first movie, maybe Chad was a bit more standoffish and maybe came off as not such a nice guy....in the second film, you found that Chad was more of a loveable idiot. That's a very fun place to be when you're an actor because in any scene, your go-to move is to just not understand and sometimes it ends up being funny. In the third installment, you can expect much of the same." Pretty unambiguously can be interpreted that Chad is stupid and means no real harm, and Jedidiah has fun playing him that way.

PERSONALLY, I much much much prefer D1 Chad's personality, because I have historically been drawn to and have a real fondness for characters that are assholes. I do try and incorporate some of the stupidity and goofiness of D2/3 into my writing, because I recognize that's 2/3rds of the canon material we have and I don't want to be COMPLETELY making shit up, but y'know. In my view, Chad knows when he is being a dick but doesn't value the people he's treating poorly enough to care. He isn't book-smart but he is people smart, and can manipulate and exploit the people around him. He thinks he's better than other people and can use that to justify anything he does.

A really core part of this to me is that Chad has almost religiously bought into the societal rules of Auradon, namely that there are good and bad people, and fairytales go a certain way. This is part of why Chad is deeply closeted and feels like he can't come out. He feels pressured to "stick to the script", in a sense. Heteronormative fairytale society. Auradonian compulsory heterosexuality.

Adopted Chad is a new thing for me, but I think it adds another layer to the fairytale conformity thing. Like he feels an even greater pressure to do the nuclear family, white picket fence castle grounds, 2.5 kids thing because he worries he might be perceived as "not belonging" by others. He feels he needs to prove himself by throwing himself into the stereotypical prince thing as much as he can.

I personally think those traits are more interesting to write and read than D2/3 Chad's traits are. They provide a great starting point for character growth. It's way more engaging to watch someone change into a more empathetic person when they can understand that they were wrong. It's not as interesting to read about a stupid character bumbling through social interactions imo.

I don't think that I always successfully communicate those ideas in my fics because I was 15 when I started writing Descendants fic! It's been 7 years, I'm 22 now and hopefully a better and more thoughtful writer! Incorporating all of this is something I'm REALLY deliberate about in my WIPs now and I actually want to rework a lot of stuff I've already posted someday.

*this first quote is from 2014, pre-release press for Descendants 1, so honestly this kind of disproves my speculation since the whole statement seems very by-the-numbers "Disney gave me a list of character traits and it's these ones" to me. I guess Chad might have been stupid all along! but the vibe is definitely different between films so the understanding of the character definitely shifted between movies regardless.

[smokestarrules]

May I ask about the Star Vs downspiral? I remember seeing commercials about that show but that's the extent of what I know. But I'm curious now.

Well, honestly there was a Lot that contributed to its fall from grace, but here are some of the lowlights.

(It's been a very long time since I watched this show so I may be forgetting some details; this is how I remember it).

A) Four prominent characters are drawn into a horrible, horrible love square. Star herself, Marco, who is the other main character whose family she stays with while on Earth, her ex-boyfriend Tom, and another character who we meet later, Kelly. I'm sure some people always shipped Star and Marco, whatever, but a significant amount of the fandom including myself were beyond content with their relationship staying platonic---romance was not a factor that needed to be brought in to make us care about their dynamic. In fact, romance just about killed any enjoyment for them at all because it was so poorly written.

Marco and Star go back and forth between taking that romantic step and subsequently rejecting each other for various reasons. At some point Star gets back with her ex, Tom, who seems to have turned over a new leaf. Marco and Tom even have episodes where they hang out together too. Then Marco starts dating Kelly at the same time Star and Tom start to fall out again.

Now that I'm writing this I've realized I actually forgot another entire character who was wrapped up in this; Jackie Lynn, who Marco has a crush on in the early season(s?). She and Marco are together at some point until she leaves him because he's clearly not into her anymore. There are five characters who get stuck in this terrible plotline.

It's just... so needlessly dramatic and completely unnecessary. Star and Marco end up together, of course, but in doing so they completely screw over those two other characters, and by that time, their relationship just leaves a bad taste in fans' mouths.

B) Star VS as a show initially started out as pretty episodic and pivoted to a more narrative-driven storyline later on, which isn't at all necessarily bad, but a lot of what I personally liked about the show ended up being pushed to the wayside because of the bigger emphasis on the plot, and it was disappointing. Not everything needs to have a massive earth-shattering narrative to be good.

The early episodes were character-driven, full of incredibly interesting worldbuilding, and just fun to watch. All of those things were shoved away to make room for something more dramatic and serious.

C) The main bad guys are also pretty much an entire species which is never a good idea because it breeds so many uncomfortable writing decisions. They're "monsters" and they are The Bad Guys, who the Regular People need to stay away from. The narrative kinda tries to challenge this concept, but in the end it's really just not important whatsoever.

Honorable mention) When the show was still good, Marco had a couple episodes in which really interesting things were happening with his gender; he crossdressed as part of Plot and then seemed as as if he was confused about how it made him feel? But later on that plotline turned into more of a joke than it already was and went nowhere. Just weird.

D) How the show ended was one of the absolute worst I've ever seen. I truly cannot explain to you just how--bizarre it is; anticlimactic, rushed, unexpected in the worst way. To stop people from fighting, Star makes the incredibly quick decision to just. destroy magic.

So she does.

The aftermath shows that the two dimensions (Earth and Star's original home, Mewni) are now merged together in some sort of 'happy' fusion, magic is completely not a thing anymore, and entire species that have before been shown to canonically need magic to survive are dead because of it, though the show doesn't think to provide a better explanation for that at all.

And it ends.

[thecourtsknight]

So. Side Order, huh?

I've been chewing on my thoughts over this for a good few days now. Want to spit them out somewhere. Vague-ish spoilers ahead.

I want to preface this with saying that I love Splatoon, I've been playing it since 1, really dropped off near the end of 2. Nintendo made Octo Expansion for me, they released it on my birthday and I love it so fucking much.

Side Order is fun, but lacking criminally in content.

You can argue Roguelites are like this in general, its the core princible to replay them over and over again and as someone who enjoys Roguelites, I agree!

However, a key thing that good roguelites do is continously give you a reason to keep playing- whether that be addictive gameplay or, usually, good story and lacing that in with difficulty that becomes the players goal to lessen- It rewards the player for being curious, experimental and above all else persistant.

I am fully aware that difficulty, due to Splatoon's target audience, in something like a roguelite was never going to be an easy thing to balance let alone pull off but having the main plot resolve itself once you hit the top of the tower was, in my opinion, the first of its blunders.

I feel as if the Splatoon developers know how much the lore and worldbuilding of these games matter to players. Side Order was advertised in very similar veins to Octo Expansion. The trailers had mystery and intrigue with clear connections to the well recieved and loved Octo Expansion to the point of having the same protagonist among other simularities.

They were clearly teasing this to be a successor of SOME capacity to Octo Expansion. And even as I went into this expecting it to be nothing like OE in terms of it's personal weight, I wasn't expecting something so short.

Classically, in roguelites that focus on story, you would gain story beats the more you replay. And techincally you gain this with the keys gathered from each fully cleared palette. But usually your story rewards in roguelites come from clearing or attempting runs and rewards:

With Side Order's story being resolved the MOMENT you step onto floor 30 with no real context unless you've intentionally avoided the top or have genuinely been slowed by its difficult (which I assume is what the devs intended) makes it's climax feel fast paced and lackluster- undeserved, even.

And, yes, I am fully aware that when you climb the tower agani after the credits role, you begin gain more lore about whats going on. But with the actual, main threat neutralized in every possible way it feels as if this lore should've been offered to us much sooner and much more spread out for a better pay off.

It's story feels like its being told out of order and, in my personal opinion, the themes and actual telling methods of Side Order we're a largely missed opportunity to tell something a bit more indepth. Climbing a tower that gives you essentially nothing until you reach floor 30 (which in my experience takes about 35-40 minutes) only to recieve about two scentences of lore is incredibly tiring and feels dissastifying when the main plot is already over.

It's lack of variation in level design, tasks and chips doesn't help with the climb each time if you're looking for the lore or just to 100% either. And you can argue this is a roguelite problem, but Splatoon's scenario's for a tower climb are pitifully small and you will start to seem repeat almost immediatly on your second or third run.

I also feel like it relies far too heavily on the player knowing and caring about Octo Expansion. I'm not saying that I think it was a bad idea to have most of what's going on in Side Order happening because of Octo Expansion's events. Hell, I was happy when they were very blatently showing this early on.

But it does very little with its ties to Octo Expansion, making Side Order feel like its constantly struggling to be its own thing away from the original DLC.

I think I can almost see what they wanted to go for here, and its frustrating, it felt close to something at least telling a decent story.

Every single little beat I've gotten has helped me understand more and more what they were going for, but since the main conflict is already resolved I find it hard to be excited and more frustrated that I wasn't given these during my initial playthrough.

I feel as though the roguelite formula was an interesting idea that they polished the best of their ability and to make work both for casual and experience players- but I think thats where the problem comes in.

With Side Order being the same price as Octo Expansion and offering very little in terms of replayability and most especially for me, story, the whole thing ends up feeling like a muddled mess that would've worked better had the roguelite aspect perhaps been dropped in general for a general tower climb.

Missed opportunies feel like they decorate Side Order in a way that leaves me fairly disappointed.

I think, overall, Side Order is a fun time that can be enjoyed but the way it was implimented into the gameplay formula was largely a mistake, especially coupled with the marketing of this being something more indepth with its story when it's not, and I can absolutely understand why I'm seeing a lot of disappointment for it.

[gyllenhaalstories]

Laurie!! 💛 (sorry, I just live in your inbox now 💖)

I'm back on duty and I'm here to tickle the collective fandom brain.

With Presumed Innocent coming out soon (aaaah), I would just like to hear all your thoughts on Rusty. 

Is he guilty? If so, would we still do unholy things with him (duh, obviously)? Or is he just an innocent little guy and only guilty of cheating and murdering pussy? He obviously likes being choked and I'm not complaining. What else might he like? Is he a pancakes or bacon/scrambled egg breakfast kinda guy? He does need his protein tho, for several reasons... 👀

Please let me/us know all your thoughts and hopes for the new show and the character we're blessed with this summer, thank youuuu.

Paying my Rusty tax for inspiration ✨ (again)

hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii! 💖 it's so good to see you in my asks again, daphne! thank you for the rusty tax (and the painful reminder that i wish this was ME) and the great questions! i've thought about that man A LOT but the majority of those thoughts are just about how badly i need him so... they're not too constructive... let's see what my -1 brain cell comes up with pretty much on the spot! 🤭

i don't think he's guilty. since the first teaser, i just had the feeling that he's innocent and his wife killed carolyn. clearly he has a talent for lying and manipulating facts (isn't it essentially his job?), he even lied to his therapist in one of the recent clips i saw! trying to lie to the human equivalent of a lie detector is both bold and dumb. he's clearly not completely innocent. cheating on your wife is bad but when your wife is ruth negga it's DOUBLE bad! i watched a quick interview of the woman who plays carolyn and oof. renate has something special. so i kind of get it <3 but i am better than a man and i would not ruin my marriage! the text messages and calls he's sending her are also very bold and dumb. he should know better than anyone how to avoid looking guilty. the dna, the messages, the stalking, the affair that was not so hidden since they were going out together and everything, this is just so stupid! he'd probably be so mad if he defended a client who basically did everything he shouldn't do and now tries to plead for innocence. i'm interested to see if we get an insight on how an attorney of his prestige and of his rank can turn into the most stupid person you've ever met. i mean, we know how, he's desperate to get his dick wet. but still, maybe there's more to it. maybe carolyn isn't that sweet, smart, picture perfect girl either. i'm giving her the side eye too.

i'm soooo excited for the show!!! my only point of reference is defending jacob so i like to compare both series. defending jacob had some really good twists so i expect the same from presumed innocent. in my opinion, one of the most powerful plot twists in defending jacob included the mother, laurie (i can still hear chris evans saying i love you laurie it was an amazing moment <3). so maybe that's why i focused on barbara sabich right away. i don't know, i'm so curious to see. i want to watch the original movie after the series, just to compare as well. i might never do it but at least i'm planning on it! anyway. can we just take a moment to appreciate how crazy it is to have this kind of show as your first television project? jake really popped off with this and his acting is absolutely insane in what we've seen so far! everyone in the cast seems solid. i'm guessing they showed most of the freaky sexy scenes in the trailers already to tease the audience, but i'm curious to know if there is more of that good stuff that they're hiding! i'm also looking forward to watch jake and peter saarsgard on screen again! and the glasses. i can't word vomit all of this and not bring up the glasses. now that we know jake is practically legally blind, i proclaim myself the protector of his corneas and i demand that he wears glasses more often. my motivation is purely selfless and it's not because i fold like a folding chair at the sight of jake with glasses (vision pun intended).

i saved the best stuff for last apparently! but mmm. what is that man into? i can't cook to save my life so he's eating cereals for breakfast. i'm kidding! (well not really but still). we know he's into choking, finger sucking, doggy style, public sex/sneaking away in a public setting, he loves the thrill of forbidden things and we see how touchy he is with carolyn so i'm guessing he's into marking because it's like a proof of something that is happening in secret of others? idk, just thinking. i don't know if his stalking habits fall into kinky or just regular obsession over the one thing he can't have under his total control, but i'd lowkey like it if he extended his stalking with some spicy elements. the way he holds on to carolyn, touches her everywhere, it's giving possessive and i love it. the ring though. oh the ring. why doesn't he take it off? does carolyn like it, does she get off knowing she has a taken man under her spell, that this greek god of a man prefers her to his wife? does rusty like the reminder of his cheating? does he like the self-inflicted guilt and pain of being reminded of his horrible and immoral actions? i think there's definitely some masochist tendencies in him. he's so quick to apologize for everything like oh no i might have killed a woman but i'm sorry tho </3 he might loooove the fake pity and fake apologies. whether he uses this tactic or if it's used on him does not really matter. to put it briefly: rusty is a FREAK and i want to be the somebody who matches his freak!

thank you for doing this, daphne! it was so fun to ramble pure nonsense fuelled by the sad 2 hours of sleep i've gotten last night 😭 i can't wait to read this tomorrow and be weirded out by how little sense it makes. i especially can't wait to read this after watching the entire series and seeing how wrongggg i was. it will be just as much fun as writing all of this! mwah mwah ily! 💖💖💖

[fireemblems24]

Golden Wildfire Ch 12

My thoughts below. So, about Claude . . .

MAIN STORY

Please just tell me I don't have to kill Felix, Ingrid, Sylvain, Rodrigue, Annette, Gustave, Mercedes, Dedue, or Dimitri :(

Oh, Arval. Forgot about all of that lamo.

Are we circling back to TWSITD and the origins of Shez's powers? It really hasn't played any role in GW so far. In AG, Shez brings it up all the time (with Dimitri always saying it doesn't matter) and in SB the whole "we only promoted you bc we don't trust your power, sorry now we do" thing.

Nadar . . . doesn't want us to call off the attack. He's really a bloodthirsty jerk, isn't he?

Is Claude JUST now figuring out that taking out the Kingdom is a bad idea for the Alliance?

At least Claude's not stupid enough to not realize Edelgard won't take over the Alliance next. Begs the question then, why?

That's what I mean. This is all potentially interesting, I just think Claude's plans are all really stupid.

So, Claude sided with the Empire because he hates the church that much and actually believes all that shit? Or does he really think Edelgard will stop her war when Rhea's dead? (because she definitely does not in Houses when Rhea's captured in her prisons)

I DO like this for Dimitri though. I'm REALLY curious to see what he does. Is it too much to hope that he'll dump the church to rescue his people from war?

IDK, I just love the idea of a Dimitri willing to sacrifice anything - even his sense of right and wrong (since leaving Rhea to die when all she's done is help him IS wrong) to spare his people pain.

But I'm predicting he'll be too stubborn or not trust Claude or Sylvain furious at his father's death will ruin it

But it's also really cool to see Dimitri kinda backed into a corner with no "good" way out.

I can forgive Hopes giving Edelgard a boring af plot, writing Claude like a moron, and making me kill Blue Lions members, but if they miswrite Dimitri here (or Sylvain, kinda worried about that too tbh), I'm really going to be pissed

Also, like if Claude's plan is really just to gank Rhea to stop Edelgard's rampage, that means he really did all this twisting around just to try and stop one woman's murder rampage - why not just, like, take her out? If this is all really about the least death possible, isn't assassinating Edelgard the fastest way to keep more people from dying?

God, please, please, please have Dimitri dump Rhea to spare his people (I'd feel awful for Rhea, but I really, really hope Dimitri proves to be someone who would spare his people any pain, even at the expense of himself - when he's sane at least lamo).

On the flip side, I'm dying to play GW. It's plot may not make any sense and my opinion of Claude has tanked, but you can't say it's not entertaining.

LORENZ & LEONIE B SUPPORT

Kinda sad they only go to B. They were cute together in Houses. Seems some of the ships got turned up to 11 and others got dialed down.

Lorenz is contemplating his existence in a world where commoners don't rely on the nobility.

He's struggling to see from the commoner's POV, so he wants a commoner to serve as an advisor. Honestly, Lorenz, pretty good call.

The way Lorenz talks about Leonie and her choices, it makes it sound like history was trending towards commoners and nobles not being so rigid without Edelgard doing anything.

Leonie turns down Lorenz's offer because she wants to be a mercenary.

LORENZ & MARIANNE A SUPPORT

Lorenz wakes up after getting injured. Marianne thinks it's her fault, which I saw coming.

Lorenz thought he imagined Marianne asking for help, but she actually did.

Marianne realizes she wanted to live, hence why she called for help. So she's feeling guilty that the end result is Lorenz got hurt.

Lorenz is encouraging and is happy Marianne opened up to him.

Honestly, a better support for him than a lot of the Hopes ones.

CAMP/SIDE MAPS

Balthus is . . . really hung up on the idea of wrestling Dimitri, isn't he?

So some NPC talked about how the Kingdom is getting attacked on all fronts. I can't be the only one who finds it amusing that Dimitri with his smaller army and surrounded by enemies is doing a better job than Edelgard with her massive one lol.

When Hapi proves way smarter than Claude, knowing how massively stupid Claude's plan of "let's kill everyone they love and then force whoever is left over to listen to us! I'm sure they'll be thrilled." Hapi's like, eh, not sure this will work.

Man, Ashe is just miserable when you recruit him. I do find it kind of heartwarming in a weird way how miserable all the recruitable Lions end up being (even in Houses, moreso than the other houses at least). Ashe and Felix taking the cake, but Mercedes was regretting her life choices the last SB chapter too.

Aww, Yuri is worried about Ashe and finds Claude cruel for forcing him to fight against the Kingdom.

Holy shit, Shez really spitting facts to Claude's face, telling him his plan is a giant disaster (Dimitri won't fall for intimidation tactics, and Edelgard won't stop attacking people even after she runs out of excuses.) As insufferable as all of the Golden Deer are in this game, at least we've got stuff like this pointing out how cruel and stupid they're being.

Lamo, take only one unit into the map, as if that's a challenge. I literally only use Lorenz. This'll be easy in AG too bc Dimitri's such a beast. Dreading it in SB though.

Annette is still alive here at least :( And Rodrigue. And Gustave. (we're with the Blue Lions discussing Claude being ... GW!Claude)

Sylvain thinks Claude's an idiot lol. Dimitri and Sylvain are sussing him out.

I love how Dimitri is the only character who's goal is to avoid bloodshed among the lords. The other two are, uh, yeah.

Oh.... is Dimitri actually going to run over the church? Like I wanted? When Dimitri's the best character in GW lol.

Dimitri looking out for Sylvain, knowing how angry he is with Claude.

I had to fight Ingrid :(

SHEZ & LYSITHEA A SUPPORT

Lysithea catches Shez assuring a younger girl that she doesn't seem like a child, but an adult.

Predictably, Lysithea gets angry, because it's Lysithea, but to be fair, she's upset because Shez said the same thing and thinks Shez is being insencere.

Shez admits that it's not cool, what she did, but she's bad at advice and keeps using the same lines she's learned from stories lamo. I love Shez.

Honestly, Lysithea is kinda right to get mad here, at least I get it unlike some of the times with her.

Lamo, Shez can borrow another line from a story. I'm gonna piss her off bc I can lol.

Lysithea buys it. I wonder if it's the same line lol.

SHEZ & SHAMIR C

Having mercenary talk. I had Shez choose to ask for help. Shamir offered once she's free.

Shez comments how mature Shamir is. Shamir comments how relaxed Shez is (but it's a positive thing, not like a judgment).

They bond over having lost trusted allies, including the ones at the beginning for Shez.

Kinda boring, but honestly these two are almost too well matched, like not enough tension and just too normal lol

LYSITHEA & HILDA A

Hilda wants to gossip, but Lysithea only goes on about how awesome Holst is, so she's not interested.

She thinks he should be more careful as head of household, but Lysithea points out that he has no choice.

Hilda is worried who Holst is married. There's an ick here where Lysithea thinks that's because he's too focused on Hilda.

Hilda just talks about who Lysithea might marry, which, yeah...

Hilda offers to help Lystheia out, and some, um, implications that she'll be Lysthesia's new family - she says big sister, but there's def some ship teasing

They made Hilda really flirt with all the girls this time lol

CLAUDE & HAPI B

Hapi finds Claude easier to talk to than Edelgard and Dimitri.

Props to Hapi for telling Claude not to unload his trauma on her.

Hapi's like if you're bitching, why not just quit? Lamo.

Hapi says she'll support him.

MARIANNE & BERNADETTA A

Honestly don't remember if I've seen this in SB already or not.

Bernie likes Marianne's painting, but not her own. This is true vice versa, because of course it is.

Marianne compliments Bernie's horsemanship.

Two shy girls compliment each other, then get shy.

Then Bernie asks what Marianne wants to do after the war and Marianne becomes a Disney princess, wanting to sit in the woods with animals. Bernie wants to finish a story. Honestly, both girls picked amazing options I too want.

Bernie's story is about Marianne lamo. But Marianne isn't mad, she just wants to read it.

I really find their friendship cute, ngl.

Also, Bernie supports Dimitri, so there's no way she's NOT writing fanfic about his life because it's a never drying well there.

LORENZ & RAPHAEL C

Lorenz asks Raphael why he didn't just stay at his family's inn instead and joined the war instead

Raphael wants to keep his family safe, and thinks that following Claude will bring peace to the world (lamo) so that's why

Lorenz is more grounded, saying that all he's doing is exposing his family to the dangers of war

Which, Lorenz isn't wrong, but he also starts prattles more about nobility need to do everything and commoners nothing

But like, does Lorenz really think you can make an army out of nobles only, because, like, that just doesn't happen

Raphael is touched lamo, thinking Lorenz is concerned

Raphael just challenges him to a muscles competition

It is amusing to see Lorenz try to give his spiel and Raphael just keeps doing his own thing

Like ALL of Lorenz's supports in this game is this though, he's more repetitive than Bernedetta at this point

LORENZ & CONSTANCE A

Lorenz is bragging about himself, Constance is in the sun so she's . . . not

You know, I was thinking just how insufferable Lorenz would be in my playthrough because he's like 10 levels ahead of everyone, a god on the battlefield, always MVP - he like trounces everyone so he's be bragging and he'd be right - I wish Claude had to deal with this, watching Lorenz win the war for him and have to put up with Lorenz being Lorenz over it

They overdid it a bit with her sunshine personality - like Dimitri and Marianne are very realistic about a lack of self-worth, but Constance just comes across like a joke (and maybe that's all she's supposed to be)

Poor Lorenz is just confused and wants the normal Constance

I do have a soft spot for when male characters are desperate for the snotty side of a female character to come back (like, really just talking about Rutger and Clarine)

This is going on for too long though without any change

LYSITHEA & LEONIE B

Lysithea mistook a mercenary Leonie talked to for a bandit

But he's just someone who loot dead bodies on battlefields

I always found that kind of distasteful

Lysithea feels torn because she wants to learn about commoners more, but doesn't seem comfortable talking to people who steal coins off dead people, which same

Lysithea of course wants to know about commoner sweets

And Leonie talks about how they can't afford noble treats and likes commoner snacks (hopefully different from Chole's folk food lamo)

SHEZ & YURI C

Shez is snooping on Yuri's letter. I love that Shez is a snoop.

Yuri's pissed though, lamo. He threatens Shez's life though. That's a bit . . . much.

I'm going to pretend I didn't read it lol.

OMG YURI HAS A MOM. SOMEONE IN THIS GAME HAS A MOM.

She's ill so he was visiting her.

He's a bit needlessly sometimes.

IGNATZ & LYSITHEA B

Lysithea thinks there's something wrong with Ignatz.

She guesses right that he's unhappy, but guesses wrong that he wishes he ran his father's company instead of his brother.

He slips up that he admits he's only a knight to please his family.

Awww, Lysithea offers Ignatz the opportunity to live in Ordelia territory and does whatever he wants to afterwords.

She was actually really sweet in this support.

Also, anyone else realize that Ignatz is proof that the church/crests/inheritance isn't the one forcing children to do things they don't want to? It's human greed?

CLAUDE & HAPI A

Claude left a meeting because he was bored of people arguing. Hapi also left a meeting.

Oh, interesting, Hapi asks Claude if he would walk away if someone could take his place. Claude says no that he wants to get a lot done and can't let anyone else do it. So a really uninteresting answer.

LEONIE & LINHARDT B

Linhardt got a gift he doesn't want so he offered it to Leonie.

Lamo, Linhardt forgot the meeting he set up with Leonie.

He gives her a notebook already full, so she wants to give him something in return.

She gives him a rock that turns out to be part of an ancient relic and he gets thrilled.

Linhardt comes to the conclusion that they value the complete opposite things, but they decides they're actually not a special pairing lamo.

MAIN BATTLE

Ugh, not looking forward to this.

Wow, imagine that, the Kingdom isn't bringing them a welcoming party. Like, did Shez really expect that?

They're a bunch of psychos. They're all excited to go kill people because they're strong warriors.

"Let's see if a crushing defeat can get through Dimitri's thick skull." Because you like tried talking with him so many times before???

What is Claude smoking? He's never tried anything but bloodshed of innocent Kingdom people to accomplish anything in this route?

I see what people mean when they say this is one of the most unlikeable casts ever.

Gustave's middle name is Eddie. Not Edward. Eddie. Suffering through GW is worth knowing that.

Also, fuck, I don't want to fight Annette and Gustave, who are only defending their home.

Thank fuck, Annette retreated. Having SB flashbacks where I had to kill Annette. Annette.

And thank God that Gustave did too.

On the flip side, I sort of wish GW wasn't so wish-washy and they all died. At least SB has the guts to show there's consequences for your character's actions. But GW like to pretend only Annette and Gustave matter and it'll be ok to slaughter thousands of low born people of Faerghus every single level because they're not named.

Dimitri evacuated his citizens. I think he's literally the only lord who did that lamo. (I remember distinctly Edelgard not doing that in VW, and I don't think Claude did in CF or AM? Could be wrong about Claude).

FUCK. Dedue. If he doesn't retreat, I swear to God I can't finish this.

Oh, God, not Sylvain too.

Wait, what the fuck, Claude. His "defense" against Sylvain accusing (rightly so) Claude of invading his home and murdering his parents is that "we're all risking our lives here." I guess Faerghus is 2-for-2 whenever someone is actually allowed to criticize people who are invading them.

At least Sylvain retreated.

Dimitri appeared to defend Faerghus. I swear whoever wrote this game didn't care at all about the Golden Deer.

Oh, a cut scene. Also pretty sure Shez called Dimitri Faerghus' strongest soldier.

Well, at least Dimitri being an utter and complete badass in this game continues since Claude admitted that he could never win against him. And he needed Hilda and Lorenz to just push him back, not even defeat him.

Oh, great, more backtracking. Claude has to retreat. Does this mean I have to fight Dimitri again?

You're right, Hilda, it's the same thing all over again. God, this gets old.

It would be funny if it was the Empire, but it's probably just TWSITD. It's pretty funny Claude is the one who learns the least in Hopes vs Houses.

At least Annette and Sylvain are still alive.

Gotta love also how damn badass Faerghus is in general, fighting a 3-way battle and not losing.

Dedue is here too, my beloved.

I love seeing Claude taking another L and having to retreat again.

xxx

[eponastory]

Let's talk about Ozai in the Netflix Adaptation vs The Original

Let's go with the OG for right now...

So, Ozai was never really shown fully onscreen until the end of Book Two. Which was a really great move on the writers part. We had only seen bits an pieces of him, mostly told through Zuko and Iroh, but we had an idea he was bad. We knew from the beginning that Ozai was a power hungry monarch with grand delusions of himself and of course wanting to continue the legacy that was handed down to him. His ideal of achieving peace was war and terror. Everyone under one superior rule.

As a kid, that is scary.

Come Book Three we get Ozai in all his maniacal glory, wonderfully voiced by the legendary Mark Hamill. Now, being someone who grew up with Star Wars (having been inducted into the Rebellion at age 4) and the Batman Animated series (inducted at age 8) I grew up hearing that man's voice, so I know it well.

But yes, Ozai was very well handled in the Original show.

Now...

On to Netflix.

Well, here's where I have mixed feelings.

There is no mystery to him, but I get why they took this approach. If they went with the mystery, it would be a shot for shot rehash and that's not what the show runners were trying to do. It does give us a more personal dynamic between Ozai and Iroh, which I had always been curious about. But there is more to it.

Here, we get a more manipulative, egotistical Ozai. He is manipulating his children against each other to see who comes out on top. We don't really see that in the Original. We get hints that it's happening, but here, it's shoved in our faces and it's brutal. You can already see Azula cracking from this and it's handled much better (in my opinion). I don't want to see the same thing we got with Game of Thrones (I'm talking about Dany going all mad queen all of a sudden). I want to see the strings being pulled. This actually cements Ozai as an even worse father than in the OG.

To be fair, I'm also looking at this from the point of view as a parent (or something of the sort. I can't have children, but I have a niece that is the next best thing). It's funny how as you get older you start to see things from a different point of view.

Anyway, Daniel Dae Kim does an excellent job at this portrayal of everyone's most hated Fatherlord. Although, I think in the OG Ozai is around my current age, if not a little older. Daniel is definitely a good few years older than I am, *checks notes* Yeah, he's two decades older than me.

And

His workout routine.

Anyway, moving past my lustful eyes.

Okay, back to character analysis... (get your mind out of the gutter, Story, you've got shit to write) Ozai in the live action is probably one of the better performances. I mean, you can actually see a little bit of conflict in the character when it comes to Zuko. Ultimately, narcissism wins out.

I'll probably write about Azula next.

[beardedmrbean]

[Huey Zoomer Anon]

Hold. The. Fuck. Up?!

Are you saying that a black author had a mental breakdown because she learned her mixed ancestors…wasn’t a product of rape?

….I…I just

Wait

Does the bitch now this fact in history?

Just because the CONTEMPORARY INSTITUTIONS AND SOCIETY doesn’t there wasn’t individuals who saw such bigotry as bad

You know…like the aids epidemic? The huge Islamophobia after 9/11? Nazi germany

Or just about everyone right now expect a small minority towards Israeli Jews?

Also complaint in oppression? Bitch having a happen consensual interracial marriage and showing that you care about your mixed kids (especially if you were a white guy) was some of the biggest middle fingers you can give towards bigots at the time despite the hardships

Any other black person want to learn how to did necromancy with me? I think we need to bring back a lot of our enslaved ancestors to bitch slap their privilege af yet have a victim mentality descendants back to reality

“We were beaten, raped, killed, forced to reproduce at extremely young ages, and have our original families destroyed. Only for our descendants who lives better than most kings cry about how we any some fucking fairytale ideal version they had in their minds about us for decades?!”- several African Americans slaves in the afterlife

Are you saying that a black author had a mental breakdown because she learned her mixed ancestors…wasn’t a product of rape? Does the bitch now this fact in history?

That's gonna be one of the dangers of looking up your family history, might find out your ancestors actually loved each other and it will force you to reevaluate your positions in life.

That would force her to examine her own racism though, not sure someone like that can actually say out loud that they are or they were racist.

Which is sad, because admitting you have a problem is step 1 in getting better.

Also complaint in oppression? Bitch having a happen consensual interracial marriage and showing that you care about your mixed kids (especially if you were a white guy) was some of the biggest middle fingers you can give towards bigots at the time despite the hardships

Again, it just makes it harder to be racist when you have that in your past, and for some reason racists get really mad about that kind of thing.

Any other black person want to learn how to did necromancy with me? I think we need to bring back a lot of our enslaved ancestors to bitch slap their privilege af yet have a victim mentality descendants back to reality

I thought that was called negromancy.......

Honestly I'm curious, given some of the attitudes I've seen online, if we'd wind up having a contingent of people claiming that they were privileged when they were slaves in some way shape or form the same way we see people talking about the easy life of a feudal serf.

“We were beaten, raped, killed, forced to reproduce at extremely young ages, and have our original families destroyed. Only for our descendants who lives better than most kings cry about how we any some fucking fairytale ideal version they had in their minds about us for decades?!”- several African Americans slaves in the afterlife

And we just take it for granted, that and the fact that no matter how much taco bell we eat we still have a near zero percent chance of shitting ourselves to death.

Even our global plagues are weak sauce in comparison

[sir-subpar]

Just curious, what do you think of Fizzarolli from Helliva Boss??

Whoa boy, this'll be long, bear with me

I'll be honest-

I like him.

He's very charming and funny

Love the prosthetics

The writing for him has been off lately, one of the very least he hasn't been butchered like everyone else. He's still very charming and funny, and well it confused me at first, I do now find his Dynamic with Ozzy to be very Charming. To be honest, they're kind of the only reasons I hold out even a tiny sliver of Hope for the show. The rest of the show has become very aggravating but whenever those two were on screen at the very least I'm entertained

Having said that-

His outfits are terrible

He deserves better than... This

This outfit especially

The colors clash and are strange. Very unflattering, especially for a character as Charming as him.

And I will admit, I'm a little biased because I am an Alex Brightman fan, I think he's very funny and very talented

His dynamic with Mammon feels off.

Maybe it's because he's the only one of the seven deadly sins who actually acts like the seven deadly sins, or maybe it's because Mammon looks like a Christmas tree

Or it might feel off because.. it feels like he shouldn't be that intimidated by Mammon when he's got Asmodeus right there. I don't mind the idea of Mammon being a jester, because if I remember correctly, one of his many nicknames was the "Lord of fools"

And I don't necessarily hate his voice either. I'm not sure if it matches him or not. I'm still on the fence about it, but the voice itself is all right.

I feel like Fizz could have had a very interesting Dynamic with Mammon, especially if the whole "Mammon's the reason he became successful and met the love of his life" is what they're going for. But I feel like it gets ruined by making Mammon such a caricature. There's no subtlety.

If Mammon really views Fizz as an ungrateful brat that he gave everything to, I feel like that should be explored.

Getting back on track. While I like Fizz, I'd argue he's probably my favorite character, I have an issue with him. Or rather, how the show treats him

Maybe it's just because I'm asexual, so when things are overly sexual I tend to be less interested, but I'm really tired of just how much are the cast is hypersexualized 24/7

Almost every character that is significant to Blitzo's story (other than his relatives, thankfully) seems to have to be a sexual or romantic interest at some point.

Stolas, Verosika, Fizzarolli, Striker, Chaz, Moxxie and Millie, Dennis, etc,

Don't get me wrong, the idea of a character using sex as a tool to get what they want is interesting. And is not necessarily bad. Even if it was against my preference, I can see potential in it.

But it seems like the majority of the queer characters are either mocked or hypersexualized. (I'll give Ozzy a pass, since he is the embodiment of Lust)

Moxxie is a punching bag, Blitzo, Stolas, Fizz, Striker (in the harvest moon festival), Chaz is basically nothing but a sentiant libido, Glitz and Glam, Verosika, etc.

It's just dissapointing how it's lacking variety.

Fizz himself is great, I like him a lot.

Originally for my redesign/reimagine project, I wasn't going to do the seven deadly sins but I might have to do Asmodeus and Mammon since they are so entwined with fizz story-wise.

Also because their designs drive me up the wall, but I'll talk about that more in their posts

Long story long, Fizz is the best character in the show to me.

For the record, if any of you like the show as it is, great! I wish I could, I really do, but I just can't enjoy it as much as I want to. And yeah, reimagining the show has been really fun! I'm not entirely sure why, but it is. Maybe it's just a good creative exercise

At the end of the day, these are just my opinions, I'm sure all of you have your own reasons for liking or disliking it, my word is not law. Feel however you feel, and I will feel what I feel.

And all right, I confess, these two are cute.

[cobaltrequiem]

I meant to send this yesterday but as someone who has loved bioshock for years I’m genuinely very curious to hear your thoughts on the games if you’re up for sharing some of them

OMG HI sorry I didn't see this in my ask box! Thanks for the ask @sand-worms and appologies for the rambling ahead!

The first BioShock game is my favourite out of the whole series, but that's partially because I'm quite sentimental about it. It was one of the first "serious" games that I had ever played. I was a teenager and before that point I was only allowed to play "family friendly" games. BioShock was one of the first games I bought with my own money on my own console (a switch lite I saved up for myself), and it was wonderful. The way it wasn't afraid to be overtly political and it wasn't afraid to frighten or challenge the player. It didn't treat you like an idiot.

I soaked up every aspect of it. The gameplay. The setting. The area designs. The characters. The messages that it wore on its sleeve. And the story, god the story! I was completely transfixed by it.

I finished it in two days, and I still consider it to be one of my top 5 games of all time. I wrote an essay on it's themes for my higher english course, and still regularly think about it.

It is one of the two games ever that has caused me to have an epiphany about videogames, not as simply an enojyable experience but as art, and truthfully I cannot bring myself to replay it. My first experience with it was so thorough and meaningful that I cannot bring myself to replay it. I know it wouldn't be the same. You were beautiful and I can never play you again.

I played BioShock 2 shortly after, and was initially quite disapointed at it for not being BioShock 1. You could tell that the story was written after 1 and that bugged me. Its political messaging also didn't seem as pointed to me.

However, throughout the course of the game I grew to really appreciate it's differences. The personal connection between Elanor and Subject Delta was incredibly touching. The choices in the game felt more meaningful and gave it an aspect of replayability that the first BioShock game did not have. The gameplay aditions were also great! I loved using the drill in particular, it was an incredibly satisfying weapon to use. It's story about altruism also resonated with me despite the slow start and I thought the adition of multiple endings (that didn't hinge on "is murdering children bad?") was also great.

BioShock 2 only took me a single day to complete, I sat down for 10 hours and played it all the way through with very few breaks, and I do seriously intend to revisit it - I own a copy for the xbox 360 now which should be infinitely better than playing on a switch lite. Overall its a very well made game, it just doesn't hold the same place in my heart as the original.

BioShock Infinite haunts me.

It's a game that had so much potential. The religious horror. The game's aesthetics. Playing a character that talked and reacted to things!

I went in with high hopes and loved it initially. I had a very personal experience with it too, albeit in a very different way. When I was a young child my dad bought a copy of BioShock Infinite shortly after it released and I would sit in the living room while he played it. It terrified me.

I have particularly vivid memories of the scene at the fair, it was maybe one of the first genuinely terrifying things I'd seen in a piece of media. It was a foundational memory for me and is perhaps where some of my love of horror comes from as an adult because it didn't just scare me to the point of tears, it fascinated me. The gore laden glory kills and the mechanised patriots were similarly horrifying but I never stopped watching. There was something alluring about this game I shouldn't have been seeing.

I really wanted to like BioShock Infinite but just couldn't. The story at times seemed like an excuse to get you from one point to another, the fence sitting centrist politics were tiring, and it tried to do everything at once.

BioShock Infinite was not a good game, but it was mediocre in an interesting way and that has stuck with me.

It wanted to be a political drama. It wanted to be high concept sci-fi. It wanted to be religious horror.

The area design made you feel like you were going around in circles. Vigours had very little story or gameplay relevance making them seem like a pointless adition clearly only meant to imitate plasmids. It didn't feel like a BioShock game but despite all of that it had potential. So many different ideas went into it, so many interesting storybeats and scenes and themes went into it but it just ended up feeling muddy and convoluted.

I can pick out so many things I like about it, so many things that are interesting and could have been amazing but weren't

Not too long ago I read a post from someone on this site. Something along the lines of "a good game will stay with you for a week, but a game that's mediocre in an interesting way will stick with you for life"

My dad never finished BioShock Infinite, but I did. I still think about it to this day.

[machifuwa]

Autumn Cafeteria | Chapter 5

A week later. At the Meeting Room in the ES Building.

Tsumugi: Sorry to keep you waiting, Shu-kun~

Shu: You're late, Aoba. I already got one job done while I was waiting.

Hm? That parfait...

Tsumugi: Here is the new menu. I sent a photo through Hold Hands, but I wanted you to actually try it. We borrowed the kitchen of the company cafeteria in order to make it.

Shu: Why did you have to bring it yourself? If you told me, I could have come to the cafeteria myself and eat it there you know.

Tsumugi: That's true, but... I couldn't bear to bother Shu-kun, who just came back from Paris. Are you feeling okay? Any jet lag?

Shu: Long trips are tiring, but I've been back home every once in a while. I'm used to it by now.

Anyway, let's have the parfait now. I'm glad to have a supply of something sweet and cold to keep my mind sharp.

Tsumugi: Also, please try these Salt Cookies. They are said to be a dessert for those who do not like sweet stuff.

Shu: Sounds like a good palate cleanser. I'll have it along with this.

...The sourness of the cherries is stronger than I expected. The sweetness of the whipped cream neutralizes it, making it easy to eat.

Tsumugi: I heard that the cherry was Koga-kun's idea. It was supposed to be a strawberry at first.

The arrangement of the bottom portion was Yuta-kun's idea. The red color makes it look more attractive.

The acidity of the cut cherries and the jellies allow you to eat all the way through without getting heartburn.

Shu: Hoh. I remember that the whole idea was proposed by Suou. So it was a joint development by those three.

Tsumugi: The menu has remained the same since the restaurant opened, and regular customers are ordering it because they are curious about it.

Shu: ...Fumu. Just the regulars? How about new customers?

Tsumugi: As you can see, we've not been able to attract any new interest. I have the impression that it's been limited to the inner circle, or that there has not been enough publicity.

We can also advertise on our social media accounts. I doubt it will lead to continuous sales, but it will still attract attention.

We can't tell them who invented the new sweets, since we're not actually working there.

Above all, as idols, it should gain some publicity. Let's just say that we're currently doing this for personal development only.

It is most likely that we'll get complaints from people, so it's better to not disclose the fact that we were in charge of this.

It would damage us, and it's also disrespectful for the companies that try their best to protect our image.

Shu: So, we're basically limited to doing things. It can't be helped, then.

Tsumugi: Right. So, I was also thinking of taking advantage of the fact that we're idols. It's still not planned well, but...

I'd like NewDi to partner up with the café and provide working experiences for other idols.

Basically, it would have that "place where you can feel closer to your idols" concept.

Shu: ...I'm not sure if I'd like that place to be something like that--where the target audience are our fans.

However, the situation is already bad as it is. That's better than getting the café closed.

The question is whether the owner would agree with that proposal. Will it be all right for him to destroy the original image of this place for the sake of its survival?

Tsumugi: I already went through that. I asked the owner beforehand what things he'd want to be changed vise versa.

Actually, the owner is really determined to keep the original taste of the round bread.

Shu: The original taste of round bread...?

Tsumugi: When I asked about the details, it seemed like it was somewhat connected to the owner's childhood. Unsold bread, specifically round bread, was what the owner grew up eating.

I heard that his parents asked him to take care of the family business, so he ran away in the process.

A long time passed. He worked as an office staff in the city. After hearing the news of his parents' death, he returned home. Since then, the bakery has long gone out of business.

A short time after he left his parents' home, they closed the place with old age as the reason.

The owner missed the taste of the bread, so he looked for the recipe, but was unable to find it.

I guess there wasn't a recipe to begin with, since they were making it based on experience and intuition.

Even so, he's confident that he remembers the taste of the bread that he was forced to eat as a child, so he tried recreating it, but he hasn't succeeded at all.

As a result, the café was built in order to preserve the memory of his parents' bakery.

Shu: ......

...For some reason, I want to eat that round bread now.

Tsumugi: Actually, me too. Shall we buy some later?

previous | mastelist | next

translated by machi and mars

[eldritch-queern-magicat]

Actually, no, I haven't really changed at all since middle school. I'm still the same deeply creative weirdo with ever-growing eclectic interests. A happily blooming nerd. If I learned about something in school, I wanted to explore it at home, on my own. That's really how the electronics disaster happened. I'm actually incredibly grateful Mom and Dad monitored my Internet use. I am way too curious sometimes. And I have to see shit for myself extremely often.

I wasn't let back out properly as a specific part until sometime in the sixth grade. It was partially the cats, but also realizing Nanny probably wouldn't be around much longer. So when she did die, I was more relieved than anything else. I used to feel bad that I hadn't cried for her.

But she was stifling me and trying to tell me what to be. She didn't like me being curious about makeup? I was low-key kinda thrilled when I got makeup for Christmas in my senior year of high school. I like color. A lot. I used to constantly change my favorite color. Now I just say I love the entire rainbow.

And I had to hide that I absolutely loved Pokémon. I think she thought it was glorifying violence, but it's more like competitive high-contact sports. Either that, or it was the racism. Frankly, probably both. It's probably the one thing she might have been worse than foster care about. But honestly, watching all the stuff that had to do with entirely different cultures was so good for me. It still exposed me to to new ideas and lessons when I actually needed it. Among them, I started passively absorbing any little bit when Taoism or Buddhism were significant themes. Paired with Bible study on Saturday morning, I guess I managed better than I thought.

She was surprisingly ok with when I was really into western fantasy like Sabrina the Teenage Witch. I think she was also ok with Power Rangers and ThunderCats (the original). At least she validated my love of learning new things and legit gave me old text books (that I don't know where she even got) to look at science subjects at home.

I think that really started in the seventh grade when I got so obsessed with astronomy and in particular, black holes. It just amazed me how unfathomably massive the universe is. How far it goes, how long even light takes to travel through it. I couldn't help but find the divine in the actual, physical cosmos. And it was there with every part of it. I would think, ‘How can everything in this physical reality be bad if God had said it was good in the beginning? Surely we haven't corrupted everything. Cats and dogs know about compassion, in a sense. That's good and beautiful.’

It wasn't hard at all to be better than foster care, but she actually was. She did encourage me to ask questions if I was confused. She clarified a lot of the literalist theology so I could start to understand it. I think I asked to study the bible with her, with that very hope. According to Dad, she could keep up with devout Catholics. I had two different children's bibles at her trailer, plus she bought me my own standard bible when I was ten, for my birthday. She and Mom took me to the book store at the mall, and had them print my casual first name with my last name at the bottom right corner of the front in silver letters.

Fun fact, someone actually jokingly asked if I'd grown up Catholic because of my apparently deep knowledge of Christianity. That was during the summer last year. The irony of my current proximity to the nearest Catholic church is not lost on me.

What fucked me back up was how I was treated during high school a lot by peers and family, and largely I just got angrier more than anything else. I was trying my best to do better when it all started going downhill fast again. But apparently I was still not good enough. My cousins suddenly became spoiled brats because of my needs frequently not being met entirely, but they seemed so much better adjusted. They didn't understand, and I didn't know how to break my silence. So I started lashing out because i really didn't have the social skills I needed. So yeah, I was definitely an asshole at times. The bullshit from foster care got a refresh, and I was forced to submit to their training again.

Never had any serious issues with Grandma, though in typical moody teenager fashion, I was sometimes a brat.

There's a reason I didn't really come out of my shell again until my junior year of high school. I decided to try to be more brave the year before, since I knew I'd graduate in Ohio. I got better at my art and creative writing, and it seemed to give me a way to connect with others. I decided to go for the culinary class at the career center because hey--good food--and the only thing that was in question was my literal birth date and legal age restrictions with the student restaurant. I got in. Mom and Dad made absolutely sure it was paid for. So I decided to do another nuts thing and go try out for the spring musical. I met one of my closest friends that way. Truly a charismatic character (gonna tag you, @themerrymutants I miss you). I felt accepted and encouraged, like family is supposed to make you feel.

Memories are really just flooding in now, it's a just lot to process. Maybe it's because while answering the person on anon, I opened up a lot of my own psychological cupboards. I never really said a lot of that at once, let alone even explained my logic behind it all. It put a lot of things into perspective for me.

And I just can't help but think, oh, shit, I actually am competent. But I was constantly second-guessing myself because so many of the people around me were hellbent on judging everything I did. Now I understand that in those cases, they most likely feared how authentic I am. Some people, more or less depending on where I was at any given time, thought I was pretty cool because I was so authentic.

I stopped fronting almost entirely when Mom died. I still hadn't recovered at all from literally anything, and didn't know how to handle that. It took cycling through different roles to find something productive for me. I shattered, and ended up pushing most of my remaining idealism into the then-evolving Lilitu.

But I was always at my best when I was true to myself. There were still plenty of people who loved me for who I really was. And that was just enough to keep going. That is precisely what fueled my spite against others who didn't like me. And Mom sure as fuck never quit going.

-Era 🍎😺