#also no hard feelings to the people discussing this or feeling differently about the show;

[rokkucha]

crashing out over hiroaki nakamigawa being genuinely the best bpd rep i have ever seen in media. i’ve been in this fandom for barely 3 weeks now but he’s already come to mean so much to me as a character and i’m so so attached to him, like i will never stop being amazed by tetro danganronpa and how honest it is when it comes to underrepresented topics that are an uncomfortable reality for so many people that never really get to feel seen that way.

(impassioned analytical rambling & tons of spoilers ⬇️)

so many things that often get glossed over in fiction or get left implied are CONFRONTED in tetro, bluntly and unapologetically, while showing the consequences in a way that’s so raw but still so empathetic. especially things like the less “palatable” aspects of disabilities, like how dissociation is fucking annoying and severely inhibits your life and makes people see you as helpless when you cant even do anything about it with ojima, and how humiliating it can be to ask for help even when you really REALLY need it with kamimura. especially gendered issues like misogyny in teen girls’ home lives and being forced to grow up too quick with watari, male relationship abuse, its normalization & dismissal, and its effects on self esteem (not to mention when combined with child abuse) with yanagi, and how strong women realistically often have to become strong out of necessity (rather than just being built different girlbosses by nature) with hayashi. tsuno was also an amazing portrayal of ongoing successful recovery while at the same time one of self-imposed pressure and burnout.

then there’s some that become more apparent with outside perception, like isono getting straight up mischaracterized for being A Woman and not having enough screentime to be really understood, and sasaki. oh my god sasaki. sasaki being a victim of SA in school, then vilified for taking on a MUCH needed leadership role in an otherwise unruly group of equally scared teenagers, and fuck, of course she did some awful shit, but she was scared. all of them were. and hiroaki, her most dedicated hater, was the only one to realize that wasn’t who she truly was afterwards and empathize with her.

hiroaki specifically is such painfully and uncomfortably realistic bpd rep, but honestly? it’s a needed perspective. definitely for me, at least. a lot of the vile shit both other characters and fans say about him, real people in my life have said to me, and he’s not exactly recovery goals by any means but god dammit he is TRYING when all odds are against him and holy shit is that difficult enough as it is. he’s trying so fucking hard. i saw myself in him, a version of myself that struggled and felt how he felt, and i was rooting for him the whole time. i cried with him and i cheered when he made progress and i got emotional when someone empathized with him and was patient and forgiving like i wish someone had been with me.

what i love especially about hiroaki is how well-rounded he is in terms of bpd portrayal. he doesn’t just have splitting episodes or obsess over an fp or have super black and white views/opinions, but he also has horrible self-esteem issues that he hides behind an exaggerated ego and lashes out to hide how much he cares and feels crushing, overwhelming self-hatred because of things other people say or think. and even then, we see the less discussed aspects of more acknowledged symptoms with him too. when he splits, he feels immense remorse after. case in point, the sheer horror he felt at the end of [low talk]. he still sometimes tries to make things right where he can even though he can’t stop self-sabotaging. he has moments of kindness with multiple people to varying degrees of closeness.

and despite all this awful shit happening to and around him, he is making a valid fucking effort and god i will always defend him for that. he’s emotionally self-aware and he has goals and values and he cares about people in his life even if he’s bad at showing it. sure, he’s trapped in bad habits and a bad lifestyle, but also… he’s just a kid. he’s 17 years old doing and believing and enduring things no one should have to at that age. he’s been on his own since he was even younger too.

people fault him for backsliding in his attempts at Being Better but that is so fucking unfair, because it is never that goddamn simple. ever. you hear “recovery isn’t linear” just about everywhere, but it’s so rare to see that process explored so thoroughly in fiction and when it’s just brushed under the rug to make him out to be an irredeemable villain because it’s annoying or not entertaining enough, it’s… so painfully real.

the [stairwell] episode in particular was fucking brutal for me. i’ve been him in that situation, except instead of someone like tamba it was someone much closer to me than that. it was such a personal gut punch hearing her scream at him that he just can’t be a better person no matter how hard he tries because that’s just who he is. because he doesn’t want to change bad enough, because he’s innately selfish and cruel and evil and doomed to die alone and unloved. and he stands there and takes it while she hits him everywhere it hurts most, and while i will acknowledge tamba is just as scared and flawed as the rest of them, she says some of the most deplorable shit to him a person can say to someone until he just can’t take it anymore and proves her right. and just like that, he’s regressed back to square one again.

and tamba is never held accountable for how horribly she treated people, or even truly acknowledges how fucked up what she said to hiroaki was. it’s not even clear if she realizes the depth of it. that part is uncomfortably real for me, too. tetro is such peak fiction dude because the only reason i can’t like her is personal beef with her actions related to me and not her.

anyway i’m a shameless tetro glazer, hiroaki is my beautiful & beloved bpd princess, and everyone should be nicer to him and should also keep in mind that some of the shit you say about fictional characters you could inadvertently be saying about someone close to you as well. this fangan is doing something extremely rare and extremely valuable, and at the same time creating such a vulnerable space for people, so always be nice & be considerate <3

[moonstruckme]

hiiii and congrats! luv this game sm!

secrets in the dark...can I request wolfstar & B, E, K, R, & W! (sorry if this is too many, you can pick and choose, I just got too excited!) x

Thank you angel! Absolutely you can :)

b = bed; what’s the sleeping situation like? are there regular sleeping arrangements - does anyone like to sleep alone?

Sirius is absolutely not letting either of you sleep alone ever. Even when Remus doesn't want to be touched very much getting close to the full moon, he has to relent to you all still sleeping in the same bed and you and Sirius just leaving him plenty of space, because Sirius will not stand for it. I think Sirius is clingy and likes to curl up whereas Remus prefers to lay flat and/or be the big spoon, so most of the time I see reader and Sirius sleeping on either side of Remus or Remus spooning Sirius who's spooning reader (though reader and Sirius could swap in that scenario, but I think Sirius would love to be in the middle)

e = events; who drags everyone else to their family/friends’ events?

Sirius is definitely the one dragging you and Remus out most often, though to friend events instead of family of course. I think if anyone is dragging them to family events, it'd have to be you

k = knowing; who can read their partners like a book? is there anyone who’s got their walls up, even around their partners?

I think Sirius and Remus really balance each other out in this way—they're perceptive, but in different ways, and they also both have their walls up but handle that differently. Sirius is very quick to pick up on any shifts in mood and/or tension and he'll just call you on it, whereas Remus is more likely to notice if there's a change in your behavior and I think he'd normally give you a chance to bring it up on your own before doing it himself, far more tactfully than Sirius would. They also both have things they'd rather not discuss; Remus will avoid these at first by being quiet and then by stating outright (sometimes angrily) he doesn't want to talk if pushed, whereas Sirius is a master of dancing lightly around anything he doesn't want to discuss and laughing it off, so that no matter how hard you try you'll never get him to be serious about anything he doesn't want to get into. However, they're also both skilled at breaking through each other's walls, and with enough time with them I think you'd learn to do that too

r = romantic; is anyone a bit of a sap for their partners?

oh I mean both of them but Sirius most obviously for sure. He looooooves showing you both off and being loud about how much he loves you, and Remus feels the same but prefers the quieter gestures

w = worthy; how are insecurities handled? is anyone more self-conscious than the others?

they're both pretty insecure about their worthiness of love and care. remus is better at hiding it; even though sirius puts on the biggest show about being so confident, that sometimes makes his self-consciousness about specific things more obvious. however familiar with insecurity sirius is himself, it boggles his mind that anyone he loves would ever doubt themselves, and he wants to have very frank and fervent discussions whenever one of yours comes up. remus, on the other hand, is more understanding, and will try to help you in small ways before broaching the subject in a gentle, compassionate way if that's not working; he understands that most people can't be convinced of their worth in a single conversation, whereas sirius is so downright shocked you could ever think that to begin with that he's sure he can fix it quickly

[group-dynamic]

Doctor Who Ep. 6 Interstellar Song Contest Spoilers

Loved everything about this episode (Ok, except one (1) thing!). . .

First, I think if you try to read this episode as a direct allegory you're going to have trouble because the layered thematic ideas allow for about 100 different readings that can't be simplified including:

Showing a planet like Earth while talking about "The Corporation" stripping Hellion of its resources and burning it down is a condemnation and warning against capitalism's responsibility for global warming

Discussing "buying" an entire culture and its people in order to get one silly food resource you don't even need but just want to sell evokes colonization and specifically reminds me of what Dole did to Hawaii or what United Fruit Company, Nestle, etc. have done to South / Central America and various parts of Africa.

Centering the queerness of the doctor, including gay / queer characters and icons, and using a reference to "Rise Like a Phoenix" also acts as an homage and recognition of Eurovision as a beloved segment of queer culture, giving a sympathetic look at how that might complicate our feelings about the event's ability to build community beside its complicity in harm. This, to me, was one of the episode's strengths. Its willingness to show that we can hold contradictory and complicated feelings about things.

Furthermore, the Hellions are a representation of the IDEA of a marginalized community, combining the greatest hits of classic bigotry from across time including the accusations of cannibalism (indigenous communities), secret horns (antisemitism), and self-destructive, naturally evil terrorists (Muslims).

And that brings us to the genocide issue. The idea that "Kid" is literally someone whose mother was shot and killed in front of him and suffered from the loss of his home and subjugation of his people creates a clear argument that the violence of domineering, capitalist, colonial powers ARE terrorists acts. The Corporation is a terrorist group. If their behavior creates "terrorism" as a result, that is hard to blame on the victims. (Also, calling him "Kid" was clearly deliberate, and although this episode literally can't be an allegory for the ongoing genocide it reminds us of, it certainly evokes how the literal majority of Palestinians suffering are and were children). I thought the show was very careful to balance the idea that Kid and Wynn's actions are wrong, but that Kid and Wynn are more sympathetic and fleshed out than the nameless, faceless advertisement that represents the Corporation.

Including Cora also seemed like clumsy if thoughtful choice to remind the audience that judging any group of people on the actions of the one or two individuals who get in the "news" for doing something heinous is its own kind of atrocity.

THAT BEING SAID. There was a huge fumble here with the Doctor. Sure, The Doctor has suffered a genocide, but he has also caused them. His torturing the terrorist is clearly meant to make us uncomfortable and disgusted. However, he does not learn any lesson here. He has a CHANCE to, but we're only shown how the torture affects him (which felt an awful lot like the old "the U.S. will carpet bomb your country then make a movie about how sad it made their soldiers"), and he does not in any way modify his beliefs or stance after. He stands there and says basically "I'm coming after you" to Kid in an extrajudicial killing kind of way. He says "You have put ice in my heart." And since Bel does not call him out more than "Oh, I was scared for a second," what I think we needed was for Kid to say to him, "Good. Now you know how I feel." Instead he says nothing and so. . . we're left assuming the Doctor is in the right, I guess? I suppose I wanted a "You would make a good Dalek" moment here. We needed something that sealed the message of "Wow, the deaths of trillions of people is a heinous and abhorrent act, how could anybody do that? And how could you just stand by and DO NOTHING (the episode actually did make this note!) while it happens. Gosh, if that happened, I'd be so angry I'd want to destroy the people responsible and take them out. . . Oh. . . Ooohh, that's what Kid is feeling. The Doctor was angry about a potential genocide. Kid was angry about the real one that happened. If the loss of innocent life can drive you to do things so tremendously out of character. . . Again, this wouldn't EXCUSE the actions. It would HUMANIZE them. It would remind us that our righteous fury over terrorism can only be earned if we bring that same energy toward the colonial, genocidal powers that create the conditions which cause it. Those powers which operate by that same deadly playbook then cry foul when its turned on them.

[peatbogbody]

MINGI

MINGIMINGIMINGI

oops this took me a lifetime to finish

Mingi was actually the last ATEEZ member whose face I was able to consistently put to the name, I have to admit it was right after I bought my tickets for their concert last year that I was like "...I should probably know who all of these people are 😳". TBF since I started listening to them in late 2022, up to that point, I'd been mostly just listening to their music and watching a few of their MV's and familiarizing myself with The Lore a bit, and hadn't really dove into their performance vids or side content much at all. From their music alone I'd already placed them in my top 3 groups, but I finally fell deep into the rabbithole of everything else in the couple weeks after the concert when I was laid up with COVID that I'd gotten at the concert (😳) bingeing instagram reels. (tbh I am ECSTATIC that they're already having another tour bc although I LOVED the last concert, as soon as I realized how much I didn't know about them, I was immediately like HI I NEED A DO-OVER NOW)

this bit specifically awakened many things within me.

However, it's been a long time coming but especially now since I started this series and also have been reading work by other ATEEZ meta writers, I feel secure in declaring that Mingi has ascended beyond bias-wrecker status to fully-fledged double-bias. (I maintain that all other members are still S-tier wreckers though. Having a bias in ateez is HARD. i keep thinking i'm set but then every week a different member comes waltzing by wiggling their fingers at me and its SO RUDE. anyways).

this has to come with a lot of defensive caveats of NOT LIKE THATTT bc of certain...stereotypes surrounding mingi ults. i mean it's not entirely NOT that...i do have eyes...but it's also so much MORE than that. i swear.

It's so hard to put things in words (extra LOL at this like 6 weeks later) but here goes.

oh i can use readmores lol

Okay so. The Duality. It can be more than a little cheesy when kpop fans crow all day about ~THE DUALITYYY~ like yeah. first off everyone has duality. you're not the same person in the crowd at the show as you are at your 9-5 on a monday. imagine if idols who had intense concepts just like. walked around in character for those roles 24/7 like what in the daniel day-lewis.

but sometimes the discrepancy between the different "modes" of a performer can still be impressive to see and fun to compare. and wow there sure is a discrepancy here.

mingi's on-stage/performance, FIX ON energy has been heavily discussed. he's got a way of working a crowd that's awe-inspiring, a way that's known to incite "bringing a pen to the concert just in case there's an NDA that needs to be signed" type moods. the way he can get an entire stadium of people BARKING LIKE DOGS, literally, with just a flick of his fingers? enviable. (and potentially terrifying to the uninitiated.) OKAY i was going to say this but i just went to a day6 concert and it turns out that fans will just Do This without any prompting. i stand by mingi still having a particular Way of doing it though and overall a power over crowds that's kinda scary.

poor day6 were so confused it was hilarious

but actually, to my eyes, it's like Fix On is SO over-the-top it's bordering on camp? (i stole this observation from someone (although i'd kind of independently registered it) but forgot who it was. if you wrote about this speak up!). but yeah it's like. almost veering into drag king performance. male impersonation type shit. it's a full on character. this may be one of the secrets behind the mysterious mingi/seonghwa synergy, in the way they get so deeply immersed in character onstage. i'd probably be a little or maybe a lot scared to run into either of them immediately post-performance (but also 🥵).

and then we get moments when this persona will be "broken" by something suddenly and mingi just bursts into that big cheesy smile and it's SO CUTE.

about that cuteness.

ymmv ofc but seeing this guy...

stalking around pelvis-first (I can't find it but that clip of the members making fun of the way he does the driving dance sums it up) on stage, then turn around and INSIST that he's actually Princess Minki, baby chick, aegyo world champion, just intensifies the cuteness. it's the way he's so emphatic that he's CUTE that makes it inherently true, but not directly as a result of the aegyo itself, rather it comes from the intention. if fixed-off mingi really wants to make us believe this, l'm making the decisive choice to take the bait and take him at his word. clown makeup ON, peace and love on planet earth.

who the FUCK are you to deny this man his god-given right to be cute as fuck? get outta town.

to name one example of a behavior that draws me to him in a very leftatlondon "haha, i do that...🥲" way: the way he'll do what I think of as kinda, vocal stimming? with song lyrics (like this whole video oh my god). idk if that's what it is but like, I ALSO sing a lot as self-regulation like when I'm anxious, bored, waiting or a combination of those things.and settings where i see him doing this fit the bill of moments when I would probably be doing the exact same thing. for instance, if i was doing a live in front of thousands of viewers and had run out of boyfriend-RP material and vague platitudes to give but still had time to fill. i would probably also resort to random asmr/vocal percussion. anyways i just Know he paces around whispering various words and phrases to himself.

sidenote, i have to say from experience that the kind of earworms you get when you've been practicing and performing pieces for a concert/etc especially when you do more than one show, are unlike any other kind. they are insidious. i cannot IMAGINE doing this for dozens of shows on a tour or a comeback. i'd lose my mind. idk how they don't end up utterly sick of title tracks by the end of the comeback period. so anyways we do see other members randomly singing a lot, but I haven't really heard anyone playing with the words in the way Mingi does.

i'm not gonna directly comment on the neurodivergency thing but will just say, i See Behaviors 👀. i won't outright say there's Nothing going on.

others have commented on mingi's apparent lack of interest/ability to self-censor his speech, actions or affect even in very public settings. excuse the possible projection, but i recognize this behavior not as coming someone who doesn't know or care about social norms, but due to whatever reason is unable to perform Normal Behavior consistently enough that they've developed a strategy of pointedly abandoning the public pretense of even attempting to do so. if you fuck up at being a person it's because you weren't even trying and you don't even really care :) (but actually you DO care, a lot and you WERE trying).

leaning much more extraverted than myself, mingi seems to do this more automatically and externally than i do.

this type of attitude can have both healthy and unhealthy applications but in mingi's case it seems to be working out pretty well. i'd be interested in seeing a comparison of his persona over time, especially pre- and post-mental health break.

but yeah basically us socially weird and anxious babes yearn for the days of lol random xd tacos. mingi baby u would have thrived in 2007.

and he just comes across as super sweet and sincere and the members clearly adore him. and mingi laugh attacks (a la this vid at around the 14:40 mark heyy look foreshadowing for jonghoposting) are truly soul-cleansing, skin-clearing, crop-watering etc.

i adore this like default awkward closed-mouth smile/grimace he does it's another very "i do that...." thing

anyways also mingi's super captivating to watch onstage and a fucking fire rapper and musician. not just onstage. i LOVE his singing voice too. but i can't spend a second more on this post and i have a whole musical analysis series planned where i'll definitely touch on this stuff more.

just an example of the power of Mingi. this is a challenge for sb19's own fucking account but it's actually impossible to keep your eyes on anyone but mingi

okok shhh don't cry here's a close up version

anyways i've been sitting on this post for far too long and needed to remind myself that these were never supposed to be comprehensive character dissections, just off-the-cuff impressions based on vibes and THATS MY OPINION. so i'm ending it here bye i will be writing about our dear wooyoung next.

again im not gonna discuss ship stuff on these posts its TOO MUCH

[gammija]

.

[borderlinereminders]

If you’re someone who needs reassurance from loved ones that they love you, that’s really valid. But the way you ask for it matters. Hinting at it with comments like “nobody loves me” can actually be hurtful to your loved ones. It’s also a good idea to try and reassure yourself first!

The truth is that for a lot of people, giving reassurance constantly is exhausting. It can lead to issues in a relationship over time, and negative feelings on both sides because they may end up avoiding the other person. This is especially true if someone doesn't ask for reassurance directly but hints at it with things like "No one cares about me."

My advice is if you are finding yourself struggling is to first try and self soothe either with skills or things that have helped in the past. Here is my post on self-soothing ideas! And if that doesn’t work, then ask for it in a healthy way.

Some other examples.

Keep screenshots, letters, cards etc that affirm you are cared about by your loved ones. You can even ask someone to give you a recording of them saying it that you can listen to. Bonus: Keep these things in a self-care box that you can use in times of crisis and pull out that has other things in like affirmation cards, favourite treats, self care items, etc.

Examine the evidence. By this I mean try and keep a list of things they've done to show they care about you. For example, I have a list of things my partner has done for me besides saying "I love you" of both big things and little things that I can read when my brain decides to be rude to me and make me doubt he cares.

If the other person has done something specifically to make you feel they don't care, it's important to step back and look at the situation and check the facts. There's a difference between someone lying to you or doing something intentional and someone not replying to you because they got busy. Here’s my post on checking the facts!

Here’s a post on Challenging Irrational Thoughts!

ACCEPTS is a really good skill for distractions! Here's a post on it.

TIPP is a good skill if you are needing to calm down in immediate crisis. Here's a post on it.

If you're having urges to accuse your loved one of not caring, consider Urge Surfing (here's a post on it) and then using a skill or plan that helps you.

If you aren't able to self-soothe that's so valid! It really is. I recommend trying it because sometimes you will be able to. But then sometimes you won't be able to and that's okay. In this case, if you need to get it from someone, ask directly for it instead of doing it in a guilting/passive aggressive/hinting way. You might say "Hey. I know you care about me, but my brain is being rude. Can you please give me some reassurance?" instead of "Sorry I'm such a bad friend/person/burden/etc".

It might also be worth having a conversation when calm with the other person to establish some boundaries and ideas for communication.

For example, if your friend regularly feels drained by you asking for reassurance, they could set boundaries on how often they're okay for you to ask for it.

You both might decide that they will try and message you randomly to offer reassurance because it can mean a lot when that happens.

This might be where they send you messages/recordings/etc that you can read in times of need.

If the friend is doing something specifically, even unintentionally, that makes you question things then it's really valid to have a discussion about it! I recommend using some I-Statements or other communicative skills to talk about it. Even if they aren't doing something wrong, it's still valid to talk about your feelings and see if you can come up with a solution. For example, maybe it's really hard on you that they disappear randomly for a couple days when their energy levels plummet. And this causes you to spiral and think they're ghosting you or etc. In this situation, maybe you and your friend come up with a solution where you establish a single emoji (specific for this purpose) that the friend can send with low energy that says "Hey. It's not you but I'm feeling drained and need to not reply for a bit."

[fishnapple]

Things people secretly find attractive about you

This reading is about the hidden thoughts of people, about what they secretly find attractive about you. This is entirely subjective, some of these can seem questionable or hard to understand but the human psyche is complex, the root of attraction can lie in unexpected places.

This is a general reading meant for multiple people. Take only what resonates and leave out the rest.

Your feedback is much appreciated. If you find the reading resonated with you, leave a comment, I’d love to know 🎐

About me | Masterpost Book a reading with me - KO-FI (→ personal reading)

ONE

Some of the people who find you attractive might have a saviour mentality and a serious personality, they gravitate towards someone who they think is in trouble, sad about life or is a little impractical. I'm not saying that you have these traits, but those people seem to pick up some of your behaviours as signs of these traits.

Some people perceive you as outspoken, you have no trouble saying what's on your mind, your words are direct and to the point, they carry force in them. This can seem aggressive to them. But this is not the kind of being attracted to something strong but more like being attracted to the hidden weakness behind that strong exterior. They think that behind your assertive demeanour is someone insecure, someone who hasn't found their footing in the world yet. They are attracted to that thought, the thought that you're trying to put up a front, trying to be brave. This makes them curious and want to see the insecurities that you're hiding, and to do what? They would want to guide you, they think you need someone to act as a teacher to you, someone you can look up to, and they want to be that person.

Your voice is also attractive to some ears, your choice of words is extensive and have a poetic touch to it. Or you don't talk much and some people find that attractive, they feel that you leave space for others to talk and express and you're not judgmental about it. Some will like having deep philosophical discussions with you. You also have different and unique hobbies and whenever you talk about them, you seem so animated and excited, an intense passion can be felt, and that makes people gravitate towards you like moth to flame.

Some people also feel that you can be quite naive or impractical sometimes, they find this endearing, like seeing someone being protected from the harsh reality of this world. They might project a part of themselves on you. Some of them could have experienced a difficult childhood that didn't give much space for them to be carefree or feel protected. So they look at you and see these traits that remind them of a distant longing for a better childhood.

The idea of being in a relationship with you will seem easy and natural. It's easy to imagine themselves taking care of you and having your attention to themselves. Your attention and affection are elusive and people want to catch a hold of these. Some will want to quickly jump in a connection with you, it would get intense very fast and burn quickly, attraction at first sight is very likely, this is not just about romantic attraction but also includes platonic attraction.

TWO

I think people would immediately feel a sense of power coming from you, much like how our skin warming up when we are around a fire. This kind of powerful energy is dynamic, all-encompassing, intense, generous and bountiful. This attraction that people have towards you is not that secretive, some might feel reluctant to show it or talk about it openly because they feel respectful towards you, they can feel a little intimidated and will just silently watch you, occasionally drop a few compliments when they are feeling brave enough. You know how sometimes people see someone so amazing and awesome but keep their distance and not express appreciation for them, for fear of stating the obvious, they would think that this person probably gets a lot of compliments everyday already so they won't be bothered with them? Some people are like that towards you.

Some people will quietly admire your daring and sometimes reckless spirit, the word daredevil comes to mind, with it comes the attitude of an adventurer. You are so brave and explosive, always ready to explore new horizons, always know how to have fun. Timid and quiet people might secretly find these traits so attractive about you but also feel that you are a little dangerous or too forceful for them. It's not physical violence but it's the speed of you doing things, the energy you put in every action, they feel like they can't quite keep up with that. But it's sexy to them. It's intense and it can bring both order and chaos to wherever you go. This energy is like electricity, it can evoke wild reactions in people.

You smile and laugh a lot? People find your smile and the sound of your laughter attractive, it's warm and contagious. You don't just laugh a lot, you also make people laugh a lot, they like your humour, it's carefree, jovial, sometimes it comes as exaggerated boasting, sometimes it's ridiculous, sometimes it's so humble. It shows a healthy ego with enough boundaries and respect. They can see your humbleness as a sign of strength, you're so confident in yourself and so strong that you allow yourself to be soft and be a fool to elevate people's spirits.

Others will be secretly attracted to your intelligence and wisdom. You seem like someone whom they can look up to and learn from. Younger people really like you, they see you as a role model, someone who knows their own path and is dedicated to it. Some will assume you're really successful and have it all. They wonder if you have an inner calling, a spiritual belief that guides your life, because you seem to abide to a certain rules, some strict regimes and they're curious about it.

THREE

The word "wholesome" just immediately came to my mind. You have a very stable aura that makes people think you have your life all figured out. They might even think that your life is so different from them, so trouble-free, peaceful or exciting, anything but similar to theirs. But that doesn't alienate you from people, they actually like this about you. Like how cat videos restore faith in the world for some people. When they see your life, they get inspired to strive to do good with their life.

Your energy is both fast and slow, steady but active. You have no trouble standing your ground, putting down your foot. You can be very cautious and deliberate when investing in something, whether with your energy, your time, your resources, your emotions. But when you see the chance, the most effective path opening, you don't hesitate to take the action, almost like you have an angel or a wise counsellor behind your back who will give you encouragement to go forward. You are not a reckless gambler but a wise one.

Some people feel very safe and secure when they are around you, you feel like a teddy bear, a shelter to them. Because you are generous when you've decided that someone is worthy of your effort. You don't do things half-heartedly, your determination and devotion are very attractive in people's eyes. This can also mean that some people are quite dependent on you, emotionally, and they hate to admit it, I sense that some of them are quite proud and independent, so the notion that they're dependent on someone does not sit well with them.

You also have an amicable energy, people can sense that you won't get angry easily, you don't take out your ego and wave it at their faces. You talk only when it's necessary and don't demand attention. You seem like a humble person who doesn't complain when things get hard and just focus on solving the problem without expecting applause and praises. People who have a more dominant and fiery personality might find this attractive, as opposites attract. Some can view this as you can be ordered and are obedient, which boosts their ego a lot.

While some people wonder, if you truly are that humble or you're just good at hiding your desires and drives, they might think that you have something to hide, you're not comfortable showing your true self and just go along with what others deem good and nice. Would there be another person who is wild, ambitious and fierce behind your gentle image? Some might want to poke, to push you to see a more aggressive reaction from you. Another kind of people can view this energy as you being detached and aloof, like you don't have the time or energy to care. They secretly find this "unavailability" attractive, it shows you have standards and act accordingly to your own rules and set of beliefs. You seem to elicit a wide variety of opinions from people. If all of them were to have a meeting and voice their thoughts about you, it would make a long list. But they all will have to agree that you are unshakable from your resolution once you set your eyes on a goal.

FOUR

This group is a little similar to the previous group, both have strong earth energy with a hidden element. But your group is more youthful, the energy, at first glance, is softer and more playful. The similarity of the two groups is that people perceive you to be in alignment with your soul's desire. You seem to be living a full life. People look at you and feel the liveliness, the joy of living. Like a child beginning to step out to the world, who hasn't been disillusioned by the ugliness of reality yet. People secretly think you are naive and innocent, a little erratic or unpredictable, but you're not lost, you know where you are going, with a purpose, like a ship heading towards the lighthouse. You make people feel like they should act benevolent to you, because you deserve that treatment. To the people who already have children, you sometimes remind them of their own child, subconsciously. They would want to protect you and see you bloom and prosper.

You have an oblivious attitude towards worldly achievements that people secretly wish they can adopt it themselves. You focus on your self development but you don't put too much weight into being conventionally successful like having a good career, earning lots of money, being famous, almost like you're tired of that. Maybe you're well-known to a certainly extent in a community and some people can be a little envious of that, they may wonder how can you garner attention so easily like that, even when you don't do much, aren't active or just keep to yourself, but fame still finds you.

Your appearance shows that you're taking good care of yourself. You have a neat and simple style that people like. It suits your perceived manner, mild and stable. You notice little details and create a pleasant atmosphere and environment around you. Some people who work with you find these traits really attractive, they could develop a quiet crush for you.

You could have some small obsessions that people who are observant enough will notice. They intuitively sense that you are trying to establish a certain order in your life, a certain routine to balance out the inner emotional turmoil. It's like a storm is raging outside so you try to focus on organising the house to feel safe and distract yourself from the storm. This will attract people, some people are just really attracted to emotional depth and complexity. The more contradicting a person act, hinting a hidden landscape underneath, the more they are attracted.

You can be quite serious when it come to learning, this is where your determination shows itself the most. Teaching you is a delight, but can also come with heavy pressure, you don't want superficial knowledge, you want to go to the depth of things, analysing then committing the information into your memory. This, in turn, can also make you an excellent teacher, but you can be a little stern, surprisingly. You can seem young, but in some areas, you are so serious and committed, you seem like a wise old soul.

FIVE

I pulled only 3 Tarot cards for the previous groups, but your group demanded another one, apparently so many people have so many different opinions about you.

Your energy seems so red and fiery, like a burning fire. There are lots of moths flocking to your flame. They know they would "die", but they just can't help it. I can see that you have a lot of admirers, the majority of them are secret admirers though. There's something about your energy that makes people turn inward and become a lot more quiet and introverted than they normally are. They're contented to just keep a distance and admire you from a far. Have you ever see the process of an artist making their artwork? They are so focused in their own world, they emit an intense aura that keep the audience quiet and holding their breath, the people around them don't dare to disturb that creative process. Some people feel like that with you. You have a creative energy that can touch people, it's both very vulnerable but also strong, something that just is, without external shielding or masking.

People view you as someone who loves fearlessly, you have a reverence for love that borders on a religious feeling. It makes them question themselves, how can a human live so confidently like that, can they live like that too? is their life has a different meaning that they haven't thought of before? You are an inspiration to people, your flame is contagious, it spreads wherever it goes.

Those that are brave enough to approach you will like to talk and debate with you, you have a way to show your views clearly without eclipsing others. They admire your courage to defend your worldview and advocate for good courses. You might have a knack for rallying people, persuading people. People can easily be swept along your passionate energy.

Some believe that you have what it takes to be successful in this world. You have the talents, you have the will, and luck seems to follow you with each step you take. The phrase "Fortune favours the bold" can't be anymore apt than this. You have a balanced feminine and masculine energy that can attract people of different genders. To the world, when you need to accomplish something, you have no problem with exerting will power and strategies, to those close to you, you also hold a nurturing space for them. Some might perceive you as a good parental figure. Some will automatically assume that you're successful and rich, or you have someone backing you up. I will be honest, they're attracted to your abundance, the more lack they feel, the more attracted they are to you.

SIX

I wouldn't say you are shy or quiet, but you're reserved and just want to mind your own business. Your energy feels a little awkward and some people can notice that. Again, it's not exactly because of shyness, but more like a reluctance to come out of your own world. You might be a home-body or someone who prefer their private space a lot. If you can, you just want to stay in one place and live quietly, contentedly, but alas, you have to go out and interact with the world, and I do see some life circumstances that would force you to be out, to be more visible to the world. If you are a leader or someone with authority in the workplace, you will be a reluctant leader, but a good one nevertheless. This makes you seem more down to earth and relatable to many people.

You're resistant to disturbances and chaos. You want simple things, things that are essential for a good and tranquil life. A fresh meal, a walk on the beach, tea time with friends maybe enough to make you happy and feel fulfilled, also a heavy pocket full of money to prepare for rainy days. You're risk adverse, that's why you're always well prepared, stable and can shoulder lots of burdens. People can't help but feel peaceful and safe around you, they feel protected. That is, if they managed to get in your inner circle. You're selective of whom you interact and associate with. People like this pickiness of yours, it makes them feel privileged to be selected. You're picky but you're not stingy or haughty, everyone can still see that you're friendly and open enough.

As much as you always try to stay out of chaos, chaos seems to like you and follow you around. Some bizarre and unexpected events might happen that are totally out of your control. You life is somehow attached to invisible strings that pull and lead you to some pretty interesting experiences. Usually these experiences can bring positive changes into your life, if you're open to them. Those who witness these events will find them oddly fascinating. Magic seems to be real around you. You may have a strong manifesting power, whether you're conscious of them or not. You can literally create your reality through your power of imagination and words. So be mindful of what you are thinking and imagining.

[foxy-eva]

A Lesson in Faking it

Summary: An evening of fake dating leads to a night of revealing true feelings

Request: They have to pose as a couple and heavy make out in a club or a bar to get the attention of an unsub. When the case is over they also have to share the hotel bedroom

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Fem!Reader 

Category: Smut, Fluff

Content Warnings: (18+, minors DNI) Fake dating in a swinger club, mentions of case related violence, consensual voyeurism (because they are in a swinger club) including BDSM scenes, implied bisexual reader, awkwardness, tension, jealousy, heavy kissing, fingering, protected penetrative sex

Word count: 4.2k

Masterlist

Joining the BAU came with a lot of new experiences for you. Today you learned that going to a swinger club with Spencer Reid would be one of them. 

It was the hunting ground of the latest unsub you chased and you and the good looking doctor just happened to be the same age group as his previous victims. So it was only logical that you’d have to pose as a couple to finally catch this guy. 

Spencer was resistant at first but when he realized it was the only good option your team had at catching this guy, he agreed at last. 

“Let’s do this, babe!” you chirped as you stepped into the backseat of the car where Spencer was already waiting for you. He raised his eyebrows when he heard the nickname you chose for him.

Luke drove the car while Emily explained the details of your mission. The overly confident demeanor you displayed was your way of hiding the fact that posing as a couple with Spencer would certainly be your downfall. For weeks you had been pining after him while desperately trying to not let your true feelings show. 

From the corners of his eyes your coworker ogled your outfit and you couldn't ignore how he licked his lips while doing it. The lacy top you wore barely covered your skin and left little to the imagination. Together with skin-tight black leather pants it was the perfect outfit for a fake date night at the swinger club. 

Turning to Spencer, you looked at his clothes. He was wearing a black dress shirt and suit pants, not too different from his usual work attire. With a playful smirk you reached for his shirt, prompting him to almost jump at the contact. 

“What are you doing?” he squeaked, his voice a lot higher than usual. 

He didn't stop you when you undid the first two buttons of his shirt. “Making you look less like an agent,” you explained.

“Reid, you better get used to her touching you,” Luke laughed while looking at the rear-view mirror. “Don’t bust this mission right away.”

“We’re not undercover yet,” he retorted while rolling his eyes.  

“Maybe you two should talk about your boundaries before you go in,” Emily suggested with a firm tone. “I don't want either of you to be uncomfortable.”

Spencer sighed at her words. “That’s gonna be difficult in a swinger club.”

Emily turned around to look at the two of you. “You said you were okay with it. We can abort this mission right now if you’re having second thoughts.”

“No, it’s fine,” Spencer said and looked at you. “As long as you’re okay with it, too.”

You nodded. “I’m good.” 

That's what you had convinced yourself to believe, at least. Being surrounded by half-naked people in an overtly sexual environment while trying to catch a killer with your ridiculously attractive coworker was certainly not an easy task. Neither Spencer nor you had been to a place like that before. It was hard to imagine what exactly would expect you and how that would make you feel.

“Are you okay with me touching you?” Spencer asked, concern written over his face. 

Despite Emily’s suggestion to discuss exactly that, his question still caught you by surprise. Imagining his hands brushing along your body let your heart beat uncomfortably fast inside your chest. 

“Uhm… yeah, I am. Just not uh… everywhere,” you awkwardly laughed.  

“Just be reasonable,” Emily requested. “I really don’t want us to end up in a meeting with HR.” 

“What about kissing?” Spencer asked both you and Emily. 

A silent gasp rolling over your lips at the thought of his mouth on yours. Of course you knew that anything happening tonight was a sham but that didn’t change the fact that you yearned for his nearness nonetheless. 

“If you're both comfortable with it,” your unit chief answered. 

Without thinking too much about it, you said, “I’m okay with it.” 

A reassuring smile spread over Spencer’s face. “Yeah, me too.”

“Make sure to never separate and have each other’s backs,” Luke reminded you. “You're both wearing your ankle holsters, right?” 

In unison Spencer and you nodded. 

“From what we know he’ll try to separate his victims from the crowd by asking them to watch them or join them having sex. The men were all tied up when they were found, that's how he gained control. Don't forget that he’s extremely dangerous once you're alone with him. He has managed to overpower three couples so far,” Emily warned you. “So please be careful.”

There was no reason to worry, you knew that Spencer would not let anything happen to you. His presence made you feel safe and you were confident that this mission would be successful. 

At your destination, you got out of the car and instinctively grabbed Spencer's hand as you approached the entrance of the club. There was no hesitation on his side either, he intertwined his fingers with yours without making a comment. It felt natural, almost normal to hold his hand.

Once you stepped in, you were glad to have someone to hold onto. The sight of barely clothed people flirting and making out with each other was overwhelming. When you walked by a couple having sex in a jacuzzi, you felt the heat rushing to your face. 

It was almost impossible to focus and you had no idea where to look without seeing something even more scandalous. Spencer noticed your current state and gently squeezed your hand. 

“It will take a few moments to desensitize,” he explained seemingly unfazed. “Just try to relax.”

How he could stay so cool in a situation so awkward was inexplicable. His words proved to be right, though. After the initial shock had faded, you were able to focus more on your surroundings without feeling too much out of place. 

The people in the club seemed respectful and genuine. You realized that they were all just trying to have a good time in a safe environment. A vulnerability the unsub exploited. 

“You good?” Spencer murmured after locking eyes with you. 

“Yeah I’m okay. Are you?” 

He nodded before scanning the room once more. “Nothing suspicious so far,” he mumbled before turning back to you again. “You look beautiful, by the way.” 

His words made you smile and reminded you that you were supposed to pose as a couple tonight. “Thank you.”

Spencer placed his hand around your waist to pull you closer. “So, what are you in the mood for tonight, sweetheart?”

Leaning against his body, you winked at him before chirping, “I think I just wanna watch, for now.”

You made your way around the club, peeking in every room to look out for a sign of the unsub. In an attempt to merge into the crowd, you tried your best to act like a couple enjoying the show. It was weird and awkward to be there but having Spencer by your side made it tolerable. After a while curiosity took over as you took a look around the club. 

You stood in the doorframe of a room with a couple having the most sweet and loving sex when a sigh fell from your lips. It had been a while since you were intimate with anyone. Watching someone else in such a vulnerable moment let your heart yearn for a similar connection. 

“They are so cute,” you said when Spencer looked at you with raised eyebrows. “Don’t you think?”  

Your coworker just shrugged and took your hand to walk over to a different room. The expression on his face didn't reveal how he felt and you began to wonder if the stoicism he displayed was just a cover for his discomfort. 

The next scene that unfolded in front of you was too intense to hold back a gasp. Skillfully, a man was tying ropes over a woman’s body in an artistic way. It was obvious how much she enjoyed her confinement, moaning loudly whenever another cord dug into her skin. 

You couldn't help but imagine how you would feel in her place. The attention the man paid to her was unlike anything you’d ever seen. It was pure adoration. 

“Woah,” you muttered. “That's beautiful.”

Spencer leaned down to whisper in your ear, “Do you have to comment on everything we see?”

Tilting your head to look at him, you retorted, “Sorry, not everyone can play it as cool as you.”

“We’re wired,” Spencer reminded you. “Our team hears everything we say.”

With a smug grin on your face you teased, “So, bondage isn’t your thing?”

Rolling his eyes, he chuckled, “No comment.”

A smirk formed on his face even though he tried to suppress it. Maybe he wasn’t as unfazed by all of this as he led on. 

When you got to the next room, you almost froze in place when you realized what was happening. Two women, one more gorgeous than the other, were on a bed pleasuring each other. The skin on your face heated up so much you were practically glowing. With your mouth hanging open, you couldn't avert your eyes from them. 

From the corner of your eyes you realized that Spencer was watching you instead of them. “Interesting,” he chuckled.

Almost choking on your own saliva, you muttered, “Shut up.”

Your words caught the attention of the women in front of you. They both smiled when they looked at you. 

“You’re very pretty,” one of them said to you. The other one nodded and added, “Would you like to join us?”

“Uhm…,” was the only thing that made it past your lips. 

It wasn’t as if you actually considered accepting their invitation, this situation was just a little too much for you to handle. 

In an instant, Spencer grabbed your hand to drag you away into a private corner. 

“You need to get ahold of yourself,” he playfully scolded you. 

His implication that you were acting unprofessional made you angry. “What is that supposed to mean?”

Spencer stepped closer and let his fingertips drag along the neckline of your top, making your skin break out in goosebumps. For a moment you thought he was trying to feel you up. It surprised you how little you resisted his touch. In fact, his attention was very welcome and you wouldn’t even have thought about rejecting his move. 

Then you realized that he was looking for the microphone of your wire. When he found it, he pressed against it and leaned towards your ear while covering his own mic with his other hand.

“I can tell you're really aroused right now,” he softly spoke. 

Embarrassment clouded your mind when you heard his words. You felt like he had just caught you in the act. 

“What? That's not true!” you whisper-yelled in response. 

“Are you sure about that?” He took a moment to lean back and look at you before finding your ear once more. “Your pupils are dilated, your chest is heaving and–”

“Don’t profile me!” you squeaked. Taking a moment to breathe, you asked, “How is none of this affecting you at all?” 

That was when you noticed the rosy shade on his cheeks. Before he could answer, Emily’s voice echoing from your earpiece brought both of you back to reality. 

“Is everything okay? We suddenly only hear muffled sounds,” she asked, her voice laced with concern. 

Your coworker let go of the mics and said, “Yes, everything is fine.” 

“Good,” you heard her through the earpiece. “I don’t know what exactly is going on but it sounded like you two were arguing. Remember, you’re supposed to act like a lovey-dovey couple to catch the unsub’s attention.” 

“Yes, we’re on it,” Spencer said before he took your hand. “Let’s have a drink at the bar.” 

Without questioning his move, you followed him and ordered a glass of water at the bar. Sipping the cool liquid helped you clear your head and focus back on your mission. 

“Is it possible that he isn’t here tonight?” You asked your coworker as you watched him look around. 

Seemingly absent-minded, he said, “Maybe.” 

After a moment, Spencer placed his drink back on the bar and grabbed your waist to pull you closer. The sudden contact let a gasp fall from your mouth. His lips lowered down to your ear, his hot breath tickling your neck. As if it was the most natural thing in the world, your arms found their home around his neck to pull him even closer.  

“Someone’s watching us,” he breathed before gently letting his lips graze over your pulse point. Before he proceeded, he wanted to make sure, “I’m going to kiss you now. Is that okay?” 

“Y… Yes.” 

Without hesitation, his hands cupped your cheeks as he leaned in for the kiss. Your heart threatened to jump out of your chest and you couldn’t help but press your body firmly against his to feel even more of him. Playfully, your fingertips intertwined with the curls in the nape of his neck and you felt him smile into the kiss. 

His lips were so soft and tender but grew hungrier with every second passing. Feeling his tongue brushing against yours was enough to make you forget about your surroundings and you had a feeling that the current mission might have slipped Spencer’s mind as well.  

Suddenly, he leaned back before he mumbled, “He’s gone.”

Confused about what he was talking about, you mumbled, “Huh?”

“The guy who was watching us,” he clarified as he turned his head to look for him. “Come, I have an idea.”

Following his lead, you walked right behind him as he approached an empty room. He left the door wide open when he entered, allowing any passerby to watch whatever he was planning to do. Nervousness overcame you when you locked eyes with him, unsure of what he had in mind. 

Gently, he grabbed your arms to turn you around so you were facing the door. He stood right behind you as he placed his hands on your waist and leaned down to whisper, “Keep your eyes on the door. And please tell me if you’re uncomfortable.”

Then he began kissing along your neck, licking and nipping on the sensitive skin in a way that made your head spin. However, it was nothing compared to the feeling that overcame you when his hands began wandering over your body. His fingertips buried into the fabric of your shirt as they moved further down to grip your hips. 

There was no way to hinder the moan from falling from your lips. Spencer halted his motions for a split second, obviously surprised by your reaction, before he continued. You tilted your head to give him better access as he continued caressing your neck while his hands explored your body. 

It was difficult to keep your eyes open but you still managed to watch the curious glances of the people passing by. One man walked by the room and lingered for several moments before he disappeared again, only to come back a few seconds later. He stood in the doorframe to unabashedly watch how your coworker manhandled your body. 

“Babe,” you moaned to alert him. “Don’t stop.” 

Your coworker understood immediately, his eyes fluttering open to look at the man watching the two of you. Now all you had to do was to make him take the bait. 

Your nerves were on edge, adrenaline rushing through your body at the thought that a potential serial killer was watching you. Turning your head, you found Spencer’s lips while his hands moved along your top to carefully touch your breasts. That was what seemed to catch the man’s attention. 

“Can I join you two?” He said as he stepped closer. 

Spencer let go of you to watch him intently. You looked at the unsub, faking your best smile when you said, “Of course.” 

Closing the door behind him, he walked towards you, scanning your body as he licked his lips. The way he looked at you sent a shiver down your spine and let a knot form in your stomach. If this really was the unsub, you knew you couldn’t let this get too far and had to make your arrest quickly. 

Stepping closer to him until there was barely any distance left, you playfully cooed, “So, what are you into?” 

Motioning at your coworker, he said, “I would love to see you tie your boyfriend up and make him watch as I fuck you.” 

Spencer huffed at his words. One wrong move from the guy and you were sure Spencer would break his nose. His suggestion was exactly the modus operandi you saw with the unsub. There was no more doubt it was him.  

“Yeah?” you purred while reaching into your purse without raising any suspicions. Then, without a warning you swiftly grabbed his arm to pin it behind his back and push him against a wall. “What if I tied you up?” You snarled as you handcuffed him. “You’re under arrest.” 

“That was smooth,” Spencer chuckled as he stepped closer to assist you. 

After finishing up the arrest and the necessary paperwork for the day, your team headed to the hotel for the night. 

“Sorry guys, the hotel is overbooked,” Emily announced once she returned from the reception with keycards in her hands. “We’ll have to double up.” 

Before you realized what was happening, everyone of your coworkers quickly paired up with someone and left you and Spencer standing in the lobby. Too much had already happened tonight and you were too tired to try to convince someone else to share a room with you. If you could make out with him in a swinger club, you’d survive sharing a hotel room with Spencer. 

When you entered the room you quickly realized that there was only one bed. “Of course,” you laughed at the absurdity of the situation. 

“Are you okay with this?” Spencer wondered when he came to halt behind you. “I can sleep on the floor if you’re uncomfortable.”

“Yeah right,” you deadpanned. “You can grope my boobs but sharing a bed is where we draw the line.” 

Turning around to find his eyes, you noticed how the color drained from his face at your words. 

“I was joking. Relax! We’re all good,” you tried to calm him. 

“I still feel like I overstepped back there,” he confessed as his sight dropped to the floor. 

You stepped closer to him and placed your palms on his chest, tenderly brushing over the fabric of his dress shirt. “See?” you snickered. “Now we’re even.” 

Locking eyes with you, he showed you the sweetest smile. “What about your hickey?” he chuckled. 

In an instant your hand flew to your neck as you walked over to the mirror. With widened eyes you squeaked, “You gave me a hickey?!”

Inspecting the red and blue spot on your neck, you felt your cheeks heating up. The fact that Spencer had left a mark on you and everyone had already seen it before you could cover it up, made you feel dizzy. 

Spencer walked up behind you and found your eyes in the mirror. “Can I be honest with you?” After you nodded, he said, “I did it on purpose.” 

“Why?”

His voice was laced with a certain desperation when he kept talking. “I hated the way the people at the club looked at you. Like you were just another piece they needed for their collection.”

Confusion was written over your face when you stared at him through the reflection of the mirror. Focussed on watching everyone else back there, you hadn’t noticed how the other people at the swinger club had looked at you. 

“So you marked me?” you mumbled. 

For a moment he closed his eyes and took a deep breath. “I know you were just pretending but it was too hard to resist. I’m sorry, I overstepped.” 

His choice of words replayed in your mind once more until you realized what they meant. 

“Spencer,” you muttered as you turned around to face him. “Are you saying you were jealous? For real?”

“Yes,” he confessed.

It was as if his words broke the last restraint you still had. There was no more going back from this and you both knew it. Spencer still seemed surprised when you swung your arms around his neck to capture his lips in a hungry kiss. After the initial shock subsided, he grabbed your waist and reciprocated your motions. 

“I have wanted this for so long,” he muttered against your lips. 

Between more kisses you breathed, “Me too.” 

Weeks of longing and pining finally unloaded as you both gave into your desires. Walking over to the bed, you hastily began undressing one another until the last piece of clothing fell to the floor and you laid down on the mattress. 

Spencer took a moment to take in your beauty before he joined you. “You’re so pretty,” he cooed between more kisses. “So are you,” you answered as you welcomed him on top of you. 

His lips grazed along your jaw before they found your neck, littering it with tender kisses. When he bit down on the sensitive skin, your hands flew to his hair to tug on them. 

“Please no more hickey,” you purred. “I’m already yours.” 

Leaning back, he found your eyes, a soft smile painted over his face. Then he kissed you again, groaning, “Mine” against your lips. 

The confirming hum you let out in response quickly morphed into a whine once you felt one of his hands moving down your body. With purposeful motions it found its destination between your legs, making your body tremble at the sudden contact. 

Despite still yearning for more kisses, Spencer leaned back to be able to look at you when he began dragging his fingertips along your slit. When he found you already desperate for his touch, he sighed and closed his eyes for a second to savor the moment. 

You couldn’t hold back anymore and began rocking your hips against his hand ever so slightly. He wasn’t in a teasing mood and obliged your silent plea as he began drawing precise circles around your little nub. 

“Spencer,” you whined his name and noticed how his pupils dilated. “Please!” 

Two of his fingers lingered at your entrance for a second before slowly pushing in, making you arch your back at the sudden pressure. Your hand became curious as well and wandered down his stomach until it made contact with the tender skin of his cock. Before you could fully wrap your fingers around him, Spencer’s body began trembling. 

“I need you,” he whined, desperation clearly audible in his voice. 

Take me, you wanted to beg him before the rational side of your brain took over. “Do you have a condom?” you said instead. 

“Y… Yeah, I do,” he murmured as he carefully withdrew his hand from your center. 

Hurried and with little grace he got up from the bed to find his bag. He pulled out the condom and returned, finding you staring at him with raised eyebrows and a smug grin. For a moment you considered asking him why exactly he had condoms in his go-bag but decided against it. Right then you were glad he was prepared. 

Kneeling between your legs, he put the condom on before leaning over you to capture your lips in another kiss. You reached between your bodies to guide him to your waiting heat. He didn’t hesitate to push into you, a deep groan escaping his throat as he felt your tight walls enveloping him. 

The pressure he provided was almost overwhelming, making you whimper when he was fully inside you. Before he could mistake your excitement with discomfort, you wrapped your arms around his neck and pleaded, “Fuck me, Spencer.” 

Slow at first, he began pushing into you until he was sure that you could take the full extent of his eagerness. With purposeful motions he thrusted into you, showing no more reservations when you began singing his praise in the form of moans falling from your lips. 

When your walls began fluttering around him, Spencer realized how close he had come to his own downfall. Neither of you wanted it to be over. Both of you craved to prolong this feeling of being one. 

“You feel so good,” he praised you as his motions became more erratic. 

You stared up at the man on top of you, heat rushing through your body at the sight. Shimmering skin and unruly curls, crimson red cheeks and lips hanging open, lust filled eyes and scrunched up brows. Never in your life had you seen anything more beautiful. 

Your name fell from his lips like a prayer right when his hand moved to where your bodies were joined to press his thumb against your most sensitive spot. The way he caressed you sent shockwaves through your body, feeding the tension that begged to be released. 

When ecstasy finally overcame you, Spencer followed you into the sensation of pure bliss. Every pulsing of your walls was answered with him twitching inside you before he collapsed into your arms. 

Your fingers began playing with his curls as he evened out his breathing against your neck. It was then that you realized that even when you pretended to be a couple earlier, there was no reason to fake anything. It had been real from the start. 

Thank you for reading! Please like, reblog and leave a comment to show your support and help me stay motivated to write more stories!

Taglist: @adoredfromafar @grumpyy-bearr @frickin-bats @pleasantwitchgarden @cynbx @xserenax-13 @alexxavicry @samuel-de-champagne-problems @evvy96 @reidsbookclub @lover-of-books-and-tea @sebs-oxygen @nomajdetective @kobaltdragon @matthew-gray-gubler-lover @castiels-majestic-wings @eliana773 @hits-different-cause-its-you @spensreid @silversprings-mp3

[cupidlovesastro]

🪻𝖔𝖙𝖍𝖊𝖗 𝖕𝖔𝖘𝖙 𝖞𝖔𝖚 𝖈𝖔𝖚𝖑𝖉 𝖊𝖓𝖏𝖔𝖞💜

astrology observations #20 (hate edition)

astrology observations #19 (love edition)

astrology observations #18 (real life experiences)

𖡦 lacking 5h placements doesn’t necessarily mean you will be sad or depressed, but you could be more prone to being sad

𖡦 having planets such as pluto, saturn, or uranus in 5h can mean that it will take work, change, and/or growth of some kind to accomplish being happy

𖡦 although aquarius placements like being different, they don’t like being outcast. they are more prone to get bullied due to their uniqueness and “under dog” qualities

𖡦 moon conjunct uranus can make your emotions chaotic and unpredictable

𖡦 capricorn placements can be quite pessimistic in general, although they are realistic. they can also tend to be more avoidant when it comes to emotionally charged conversations, or really intense discussions. capricorns are deep people, but it truly takes time and effort to learn everything about them

𖡦 scorpio moons may have had a mother that caused a lot of trauma to them, as well as betrayed them often and restricted them in some shape or form. they could’ve been very possessive or obsessive as well

𖡦 libra placements can often be pushed over, walked on, and lead into doing bad things because they don’t want to stand up for themselves

𖡦 saturn aspecting your moon can mean you have a hard time expressing your feelings. you may feel like there’s something in you that tells you, you can’t

𖡦 aquarius in 8h or chiron may have experienced online trauma

𖡦 scorpio placements are very distrusting, so take them seriously when they open up to you and trust you with information about their self

𖡦 chiron in the 6h can mean you were hurt by an animal at some point, especially a pet

𖡦 lilith in the 1h, 11h, or 10h can make you rejected by many people. you may have people you never met before dislike you for no particular reason. people may also sexualize you

𖡦 pisces/ 12h mars people can be prone to being misunderstood during arguments.

𖡦 uranus in the 11h can mean you could have friends that will potentially go against you, or friends that will often leave you out of things

𖡦 virgo in 10h can show that people will publicly criticize you

[willbyersabyss]

So what are Will's flaws?

Is Will totally perfect in every way? Is he a jealous saboteur? Or a secret third option... neither. Let's discuss Will's flaws and nuances!

1. Emotional suppression

Will avoids his problems. He hates talking about both his emotional and physical danger because he doesn't want to be treated differently. From a young age, he was taught by Lonnie that he shouldn't express his emotions because that makes him "sensitive" and "weak." So now he likes to hide.

This emotional suppression causes his feelings to worsen over time. Once he finally lets it out, he explodes. Instead of healthy conversations, he says and does things that he'll probably regret later. He blows up at Mike, he yells at Jonathan, he destroys Castle Byers, he shows his hand (what about us?)

Will's avoidance doesn't only have consequences on him, but others. If he had told someone he was feeling the Mind Flayer earlier, they might've been able to save some of the Flayed. But he couldn't tell someone because that puts him in a place of emotional vulnerability. That's exactly why he waited until after he fought with the boys to mention the supernatural. He traded one vulnerable situation for another, allowing him to avoid opening up about his true feelings. It was a distraction.

This also doesn't let others to heal from their altercations. Both Lucas and Mike try to apologize to Will, but he brushes them off. Will thinks he doesn't deserve consideration. The walls he puts up forces others to hold onto their own guilt, leaving a sore spot in their relationship. We can see this soreness in Will and Mike's relationship in s4. They never healed from the rain fight. Well... not that Mike tried to apologize after the Mind Flayer debacle. Again, distraction on Will's part.

Will’s inability to handle change is also due to him bottling up his feelings. His trauma and suppression makes him stuck in the past. He doesn’t let himself move through each day where these emotions would be felt.

It's interesting how Will is deemed the emotional one when his sensitivity is actually a result of him keeping his emotions in. Once that dam is opened, it's hard for him to stop. He breaks, just as he fears.

2. Self-hatred

And all that emotional suppression leads to Will internalizing other people's view of him. Will's self-hatred stems from bullying and his father's abuse. He thinks he's to blame, that he's a mistake. As more people distance themselves from Will, he believes there's something wrong with him.

When he thinks he deserves mistreatment, his relationships crumble more. They're unable to reconcile. True forgiveness can't be achieved if he doesn't think he should be apologized to in the first place.

Will's hatred is the reason why he tried to sacrifice himself in s2 to save his friends. He doesn't think he deserves to be saved. This makes him an easy target for Vecna. It's very likely that Will's self-hatred will factor into his upcoming supernatural plot.

The more Will hates himself, the more he hides, the more he suppresses his emotions.

3. People pleaser

If Will is anything, he's a people pleaser. He's selfless. So much so that this is the first thing we find out about him. While admirable, it actually leads to more bad than good. His people pleasing tendency goes hand in hand with his emotional suppression. Will doesn't like to take up space and inconvenience other people.

Will's never ending effort to please others leads to him making assumptions. Wrong assumptions. Whether it be letting Max join them on Halloween or pushing Mike to give a love confession, Will tries his best to use his mediator role to give people what they want.

But he doesn't know what they want, does he? Will wanted to make Dustin and Lucas happy, but this created a rift with Mike. He thought Mike was itching to profess his love for El, but that wasn’t what either of them needed. In an attempt to help, he's making it worse.

He must be successful sometimes, though, because there's an expectation from his friends that he'll fulfill their needs at the flick of a wand. This vacancy from Will makes him a pushover. They think they can make fun of him and he'll just take it because that's what he does. When Will finally stands up for himself, they're shocked. That's out of character for him. It's like they want to say: “Why isn't he letting us be mean to him? :(”

Mike even expected Will to tell him that his own girlfriend was being bullied. Will's people pleasing explodes in his face. So now when he's unable to read their needs and fix it for them, he's to blame. Will takes on the weight of their problems too much. While it's good that they rely on him, there shouldn't be pressure for him to judge their every whim. But it's not exactly their fault because Will set the stage for this behavior.

Weirdly, Will's need to please others is the reason why he didn't call Mike. He thought Mike wanted nothing to do with him, so he didn't reach out. There he goes assuming things again! But Will was there, waiting for the rare occasion where Mike did want him. He went so far right that he ended up left.

Will's behavior towards El is also an instance of wrong assumptions. Will didn't like being treated differently in s2, so he assumed El would feel the same way. He used his own experiences to inform how he should treat others. Babying El would make her feel more ostracized. Instead, he offered emotional comfort, similar to the comfort he received, after the bullying. This doesn't really help her because she doesn't have the same emotional mechanics as Will.

So Will assumes things, pushes his own wants down, and lets people walk all over him all in the name of being pleasant.

4. Freeze, fly, fight. In that order!

When Will is scared, he freezes. This flaw is so significant that they talked about it textually multiple times. I'm not sure I would consider it a flaw since it has saved him more than it's harmed him, though.

The few times Will has decided to fight instead of freeze, he was kidnapped and possessed. Confrontation isn't an option for him. His body believes he'll be put directly in danger if he does anything but freeze/fly. Fight is only used as a last resort.

It only really enters flaw territory when it's an inconvenience. He froze during the sauna test, when El was being bullied, and when he should've shot the creature in the shed. Will is unable to help himself and others when he's scared.

When he snaps out of it, he cries and feels guilty for being so hesitant. He wishes he could do more but he can't. This wraps back around to his self-hatred.

5. Jealousy

When his best friend of 10 years that he's in love with starts to ditch him for some random girl, it's not shocking that there would be some jealousy! Will is the silent jealous type. His jealousy doesn't really manifest into resentment or outward action against the other person. Unlike a certain someone...

Will only shows it through rolling eyes, a snarky comment here or there, or an outburst at his most emotionally vulnerable. I mean, if Will really wanted to see El crash and burn, he could've kept his mouth shut the entire Rink-O-Mania day. Or he could've ignored her in the courtyard as she picks up the pieces of her project. But he didn't.

The worst we've seen Will's jealousy was during the rain fight. He called El stupid. There's no beating around the bush, he was in the wrong for that. But this came out of Will because his emotions were at an all time high. Why? Emotional suppression!

A lot of Will's snarky comments towards El are out of genuine confusion. He doesn't understand how El can have exactly what he wants, but she's willing to ruin it by lying. Unfortunately, he later learns that exact lesson. He's envious that she can do what Mike hates without major repercussions, while he's somehow blamed for her lies. And why does he get blamed? People pleaser expectations!

Will waited until a quiet moment to inform El of her mistakes. Will's goal isn't to humiliate El. He doesn't let his jealousy lead to resentment. Instead, he tried to (snarkily) lead her to make better decisions because it's not fair! It's not fair that she can have it all without working for it!

And now we're back at self-hatred. Some of his jealous moments make it bubble back up. He bends his painting, something he put his blood, sweat, and tears into, because he isn't enough for them. Their ideal day is without him. Will's art is an extension of himself. He's aiming his anger back at himself by hurting his art.

All of his flaws connect back to his low self-esteem in some way. This is why it's important for Will to receive and accept love in his life. A big part of his arc is self acceptance.

So there it is in all its glory! All of Will's main flaws in one post. What did we learn? Will suppresses his emotions, hates himself, pleases others to a fault, freezes, and is green with envy. And he wouldn't be Will without 'em!

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

i cant really tell if yuu's involvement in ace's character is more for fanservice reasons or because they really did play a part in his character development.

like in nbc we have malleus choosing to focus on finishing the task at hand as quickly as possible so that they can then find the prefect rather than drop everything there at that moment and prioritizing finding yuu. (iirc) and compared to that we have ace who does put a lot of emphasis on finding yuu especially when no one seems to remember it during the halloween event it feels very traditionally fanservice-y ? and i cant really tell where the line is drawn for ace anymore. and you did mention a lot of other points in another post that you made esp with ace's dream recently dropping and the fact that hes the only guy whos dream yuu was actively involved in idk its a little confusing for me i hope im making sense TT no shade to the shippers im just a little slow in comprehending it all bvbvsjdj

your posts are always really neutral and accurate it just helps to clear up a lot of my confusions and questions i have when playing so thank you for your hard work!

[Referencing this post; you might also find this related post useful in the discussion of Ace and Yuu's relationship!]

DISCLAIMER: I do not mean to invalidate or detract from Ace x Yuu or Malleus x Yuu shippers or anyone who may interpret their relationship as romantic. You should ship what you like and have fun doing it. My reply aims to be more objective, but that should NOT impede on your enjoyment or whatever it is you choose to ship.

iufipaerasfeao Thank you for the feedback! I'm glad you find my posts helpful. I try my best to be objective when it comes to analyzing the story and characters, but there's no true way for someone to be completely neutral. There are definitely times when I have an aside to insert my two cents on a situation or I get super heated about a particular topic. Hopefully I still leave enough space for everyone to come to their own conclusions.

I think it's both fanservice and because Yuu actually plays a big part in Ace's character development? Like, it's technically fanservice but it does not feel egregious because it fits Ace’s teasing nature and Ace's bond with Yuu has been established from the start. He was the first student we met at NRC and we spend so much time with him since then; there's no way Yuu wouldn't have had an impact on him, especially when book 7 is now paralleling the two as people with insecurities about being weak/unable to do anything + not contributing enough and Yuu encouraging him when he finally gets his UM.

I commonly see people joking about Malleus having "missed the meeting about Twst not being a dating sim" and holding him up as "the main love interest". (And to be clear, Twst isn't a dating sim, nor do all Twst fans see the characters romantically; I am only speaking about this in a romantic lens in the context of this post.) However, I think there's a very strong case to be made for Ace as well. The thing is, I also feel that Malleus and Ace fundamentally appeal to two different groups of yumejoshi. Malleus is the tall, dark, and mysterious type you can "fix", the type of guy that would burn the world down for you. Ace is the teasing and approachable boy-next-door that has your back and supports you even when the entire world is against you. This is also evident in the ways they're set up in the main story; Malleus is introduced in a way that encourages much more "filling in of the gaps" due to how little he actually shows up in front of Yuu in the main story. It gives the player a lot of space to imagine what their relationship with him is like because there isn't a ton of interactions in canon to go off of. Meanwhile, Ace has many more canonized interactions with Yuu (eating lunch, doing homework, watching movies, playing video games, etc.), so the effort of thinking about what they actually do over the course of their relationship is already done for you. There is an established friendship and connection with Ace, but you barely see Malleus enough to truly have a strong impact on him or to change him. Does that make sense?

IADUPADF9A9FSBdb I do find it sort of funny that Malleus is basically like, "Oh, something unexpected happened (ie Yuu is missing). We'd better solve this." Not really showing much emotion about them being gone in Nightmare. (Malleus only gets annoyed when Leona begins to take charge; he is not mad at the fact that Yuu is gone.) Meanwhile Yuu is missing in Endless Halloween Night and Ace is the FIRST person to excuse himself to check Ramshackle for them.

If you consult the fandom and the fandom alone, you'd think the situation would be reversed. Edit: Malleus does have his moments of intimacy with Yuu (which I won’t be getting into here because then I fear this post would veer into shipping wars), but the English speaking Twst fandom has a VERY strong bias for Malleus x Yuu. Because of that, there is a tendency to misinterpret or misattribute every little thing that Malleus says and does to support the idea that "Yuu is his most important person". (For example, even though Malleus provides no reaction at all when Skully kisses the back of Yuu's hand, many Malleus fans claimed that he would be very jealous or would harm Skully for doing such a thing. In another Halloween event, Glorious Masquerade, people believed he was angry at Rollo for harming Yuu even though this was not the case; the event states that he was mad because the invitation he had been extended was a fake one.)

It is because of thinking like this that a lot of English speakers genuinely believed Malleus would OB in book 7 in a desperate attempt to prevent Yuu from returning to their original world. Misinterpretations, headcanons, misattributions, and personal projections were conflated with canon, leading to many people to believe that Malleus was closer with Yuu than they actually are. Instead, Malleus ended up OBing because he feared Lilia leaving and he barely even considers Yuu after he OBs. And, ironically, Ace is the character whose dream prominently features Yuu and a scenario in which Yuu doesn't have to leave them forever. It was always Ace that we had a strong relationship with, not Malleus.

Ace is often overlooked even though he has far more canon interactions with Yuu in the main story. I think this could maybe to chalked up to a combination of him being "boring" compared to the literal DARK FAE OP CROWN PRINCE M. Draconia over there and the fact that so many of those "gaps" are already filled by the main story. There's less room for imagination because the game has already defined what Ace and Yuu's relationship entails. Malleus is just so much more appealing when it comes to intrigue and mysteriousness. When you look at it objectively though... Yuu only meets Malleus face-to-face like 5-6 times for brief conversations. (Edit: I’m not counting voice lines because those are arguably directed at the player, not Yuu, to endear the character to you and/or all characters get similar voice line fanservice. The canonicity is questionable since the same familiarity in voice lines is not carried over to the main story.) 5-6 times… That's not nearly long enough to make a huge impact or change in his life (unless you as the player extrapolate and imagine more Malleus and Yuu interactions outside of the ones we see in the main story). At best, I think you could say Malleus is glad he can have a special little friend who doesn't know of his name and status? He doesn't really change because of that relationship though. Malleus doesn't even show up until book 2. But Ace has literally been there since the beginning, canonically spends tons of his free time with Yuu, and has been through several near-life experiences with them (several OBs). He has the chance to bond with Yuu. Malleus does not. (He has given Yuu advice once, sent them a card once, and reassembled a stage for them once; all other interactions in the main story are short talks.)

It makes a lot of sense that Ace would be the one "touched" by Yuu's influence, whether you see it as romantic or platonic. Both he and Malleus (and all the other characters, really) get their moments of fanservice--but very few characters' development is directly impacted by Yuu's presence. Yuu might be there for most of the main story, but they actually get only a few moments to engage with the other boys in the cast to the point of actually changing them. It feels like the changes that occur are more often the result of the other boys (Trey standing up to Riddle and holding his hand afterwards, Epel and Deuce bonding on the beach, the twins telling Azul he's lame but also being the first to check up on him following the OB, Idia finalizing his farewells with Ortho, etc.) Ace just so happens to be an exception to that, as Yuu very clearly plays a big role in his development.

[astrocafecoffee]

Astro observation part 7

🪷 FOR ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY, ENJOY 🪷

~~~~~~~~~~~~~🪻🪻~~~~~~~~~~~~~

☞ MASTERLIST

~~~~~~~~~~~~~🪻🪻~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Lunar return obs.

🌷 Everytime Chiron in my 1st house in Aries , I inevitably face difficulties during those months. I am just tired of this shit.

🌷 Moon conjunct mars - definitely arguing with your mother or close family member.

🌷 Venus conjunct Saturn- you could think about your love life often, perhaps thinking about someone or sad about your connection with your love interest.

🌷 Venus in 12th house could mean same as previous point.

🌷 Jupiter in 3rd house- this could mean short distance travel.

🌷sun in 11th could mean you are active on social media often, searching things, learning things.

🌷7th ruler in 10th house could mean you are taking guidance for your career/ work from your family members or friends or someone higher rank than you. If it's in mercury then this could mean you are discussing very important matter with them.

🌷 Uranus in 2nd house - I've spent a lot of money.

🌷 1st house ruler in 3rd house - people taking about your appearance alot. (Definitely my mom did).

🌷 Chiron in 7th house - difficulties with your loved ones.

🌷 Meeting your fs or long term soulmate indicator in lunar return -

- Groom/ Briede conjunct Jupiter.

- Groom/ Briede conjunct Union

- Union in 7th house.

- Union in 3rd / 11th house(online meeting).

-Groom / Briede in 11th house ( online)

- Groom / Briede in 6th house.

- 7th ruler conjunct Groom/ Briede.

- Vertex conjunct Groom/ Briede.

- Northnode conjunct Groom/ Briede.

🌷 I've seen in some astro observations that Venus in 10th house can mean a career upgrade, but in my case that didn't happen. Instead my close ones have been motivating me to upgrade my career.

Solar return obs.

💚 7th ruler in 11th house - meeting a potential love interest through social media.

💚 sun in 11th - i have meet a lot of friends through social media.

💚 saturn in 11th house could mean difficulties with friends. I lost touch with many old friends.

💚 The 10th house ruler in Capricorn brought me career difficulties during those years despite my hard work.

💚 part of fortune in 12th house - I started this Astrology blog 😃. It also conjunct my mercury. In general this means heightened spirituality and learning something spiritual.

💚 I had 8th ruler in 11th house last year and I started this blog. This means sharing your spiritual abilities online.

💚 here i discussed some solar return indicators, but some prominent indicator you will see when you meet your fs -

- solar return juno conjunct natal groom.

- solar return union conjunct natal union.

- solar return union conjunct natal Vertex or northnode.

- juno conjunct vertex

- groom / briede in 6th and 7th house.

- solar return juno conjunct solar return groom/ briede.

- Boda conjunct sun.

Juno Persona chart

🌊 if you have Jupiter in the 7th house then you are lucky bro. You won't ever have to worry about this person being unfaithful to you. You will know deep down this person loves you for real.

🌊 i think sun in the 9th house is one of the indicator your fs is foreign than you in some way, like ethnicity or in general very different than you, could be cultural or religion difference.

🌊 Part of Fortune in the 10th house: I think they're at the top of their field. They're a prominent figure, but they had setbacks before achieving success. It took time for them to accomplish everything.

🌊 check Mony asteroid (7782) from where their money is coming from.

🌊 moon opposite Chiron - your fs may have a tough time opening up emotionally or showing vulnerability even if they deeply long for emotional connection. Their emotional needs may feel unfulfilled ,but they may have difficulty articulating or even acknowledging what those needs are.

🌊 Saturn opposite groom asteroid - your person might need to take more time to mature emotionally or intellectually before committing fully. They may also be cautious about making promises or vows cause they wants to ensure they are truly ready before taking the next step.

🌊 7th ruler in 10th house - One thing to be mindful of is that, with this placement, your fs might occasionally struggle to balance their personal and professional life. Their career ambitions may sometimes take precedence over their emotional or relational needs, don't worry just communicate with them about this matter. Don't suppress yourself.

🌊 Jupiter conjunct moon - very loving and emotionally generous spouse. They have a lot of emotional warmth and support to offer a partner. They may also have a tendency to over give emotionally sometimes, they may need to mindful about this.

🌊 Juno in 1st house - These individuals(your fs) can be especially sensitive to any inconsistency in commitment from a partner. If a partner shows signs of wavering, indecision, or lack of loyalty, it can affect them deeply. The personal identity of someone with Juno in the 1st house is often so tied to the idea of a secure, steady relationship that even minor signs of instability can trigger strong emotional responses.

🌊Juno in the 5th house could indicate that your spouse sees a long-term relationship as an adventure to be explored. They might not view the "everyday" aspects of commitment as mundane but rather as a continual process of discovery and joy. The idea of emotional exploration and new experiences with their partner could be a source of deep satisfaction.

🌊Uranus in the 12th can create a sense of feeling “different” or alien from the people around them. Because the 12th house is linked to the unconscious and the hidden aspects of the self, your spouse might feel like they don’t quite fit into societal molds or family expectations, even if they don’t express this outwardly. They could experience a feeling of being an outsider or of having a unique, unconventional way of perceiving the world that they don’t often share with others.

General astro obs.

🍁 you can definitely tell if a gemini sun likes you or not. If they are interested then they will actively reach out , just expect frequent calls and texts from them. They will also engage in conversations with you about all sorts of random topics.

🍁 Taurus rising peoples might be the type to fall asleep mid movie because they're too comfy to stay awake. Lol.

🍁 and also Taurus rising people are generally so calm? Like they are very stable or they manage things very calmly without making any mess. But if they become angry then run bro, just run.

🍁 if you talking to an Aquarius placements specially sun , and they seem distant or a little zoned out don't take it personally, they are probably just mentally solving world problems while making a grocery list.

🍁People might think Capricorn Venus is all work and no play, but they can actually be surprisingly sweet and sentimental when you get to know them. They might not show it on the outside, but deep down, they’re very invested in their loved ones and will hold onto meaningful mementos for years. They may not say it, but they'll remember your favorite coffee order from 3 months ago.

🍁 Capricorn rising peoples reserved nature can give off a distant or serious vibe. People might think they’re standoffish or unapproachable when, in reality, they’re just trying to figure out how to fit into the situation. They prefer to observe first before getting involved, which can make them seem a bit guarded until they warm up.

🍁They may not always say much, but Pisces placements are usually spot-on when it comes to reading people and situations. They can pick up on subtle cues like your tone of voice, body language, or emotional energy and process it all to form an almost psychic understanding of what's really going on.

🍁If you're in trouble or need support, a Pisces placement is often the first to offer a listening ear, a hug, or to jump in and offer help,,no questions asked. But their compassion can also lead them into situations where they’re putting others needs ahead of their own, sometimes to their own detriment.

🍁When there’s tension in a group, Libra Moons step up to resolve it. They’ll likely step in to calm things down, offer balanced perspectives, and try to make sure everyone feels like they’ve been heard. They’re basically the emotional diplomat, always trying to create balance and keep things peaceful.

🍁Sagittarius placements can be hilariously blunt. They don’t really have a filter when it comes to speaking their mind, if they think something, they’re probably going to say it, often without realizing it might come across as tactless. They’re not trying to be rude, they’re just being totally honest... sometimes too honest.

🍁Cancer Moons are fiercely protective of their loved ones. They’ll go to great lengths to shield their friends and family from pain or hurt. However, this protective instinct can sometimes be a bit overbearing,they might try to “fix” things for people or even shield them from tough situations that could help them grow. It’s all coming from a place of love, but it can get a little intense.

🍁Leo placements are competitive, but not in the way that they need to be the best at everything. Instead, they love a good challenge that lets them prove their worth. Whether it’s competing for a promotion, taking on a difficult task, or even just playing a game with friends, they’re motivated by the idea of showing their strength and skills.

🍁Virgo Mercury people might come across as critical or even judgmental at times, but they usually don’t mean it in a mean-spirited way. They just have high standards for themselves and others, and they want to help people improve. If they point out flaws, it's often because they genuinely believe there’s a better way to do things and want to assist others in getting there.

🍁8th house synastry can sometimes bring about unusual dream connections. One partner might dream about the other person frequently or have vivid, symbolic dreams that feel linked to the relationship. In some cases, both people may have similar dreams about transformation, death, or intense experiences, which can deepen their spiritual connection and add an element of mystery.

🍁There’s often a sense that the relationship is a bit out of control or “not of this world” when it comes to 12th house synastry. It might feel as though you’ve surrendered your will to a higher force, like destiny or fate is pulling you two together. There’s a sense that things aren’t entirely in your hands, which can be both liberating and unnerving at the same time. The relationship’s direction might unfold in unexpected ways that feel "meant to be," even if you don’t fully understand why.

🍁Scorpio Suns are fiercely protective of those they love, but it’s rarely loud or flashy. They won’t necessarily step in front of you to physically fight someone (unless the situation absolutely calls for it), but they’ll have your back in ways that are intense but subtle. They may not say they’re protecting you, but they’ll silently sabotage anything that tries to hurt you or undermine your happiness. You might not even notice until later, when you realize something just magically worked out in your favor.

~See you next time pookies ✨

-PIKO 💗

[postcardsfromheapside]

This game has been out since Halloween.

In that time, there have been numerous Veilguard positive posts in which patient, loving, wonderful, insightful and intelligent individuals attempt to impart lore onto a fanbase which doesn't deserve their time and attention.

I can't believe I'm running across posts made within the past five days which express disgust and frustration towards the devs over things which have been explained in great detail multiple times on this site, BUT IN THE DAMN GAME.

AND Y'ALL KEEP COMPLAINING THE GAME TELLS BUT DOESN'T SHOW. AND YOU DON'T EVEN LISTEN OR WATCH.

"the crows are presented as wholesome" - they are not. this site has a crow fanbase which has run off and lionized Viago as Daddy, conveniently ignored all the in-game details which either hint or baldly state things Definitely Aren't Cool, and generally fetishized what it means to be a Crow because of Zevran and Lucanis. Then the same people, or others who weren't paying proper attention, whined when the headcanon crowded out the actual in-game material, and they said "Antiva is whitewashed." There have been multiple posts about this.

"slaves are meant to be everywhere in Tevinter and we don't see that" - we aren't everywhere, we're specifically in Docktown which is poor and people generally can't afford slaves there, but we do see evidence of slavery, and we run around with abolitionists and help save people from fascist slavers and free people who will either be slaves or victims of blood magic so IDK what to tell you, there have been multiple posts explaining this too, maybe leave your slave or savior fetish somewhere else.

"Racism is supposed to be rampant" - fuck off. I actually will not be explaining this because for once it was nice not to be called a slur. If you need this to feel "immersed" or to feel there are actual problems, I need you to check yourself fucking hard. If you want to masquerade what it feels like to experience bigotry, go play one of the prior games. This has also been discussed in multiple posts.

"Handling pure lyrium is fine now" no handling the dagger is fine Solas cleansed it, the dagger woke something up in Harding specifically she talks about how some dwarves are connected to the stone, she previously had not been one of them and maybe the dagger woke something up in her, or did you need a pop up explaining this? Were you paying attention during cut scenes and dialogue?

"Adult Dalish without vallaslin" - in the 10 years since Inquisition/Trespasser, doubtless some dalish have come to adulthood and found out what assholes their gods were and made the decision not to go through that specific cultural rites. Or maybe city elves joined the Dalish. Who knows who made up the elf population at that ritual site. Elves are not a monolith. We've made multiple, multiple posts about elves not being monoliths.

"Solas' opinion on blood magic went from neutral to negative" SOLAS FUCKING LIES. We've made multiple posts about Solas lying, if you need this explained further I suggest you play the game all over again, he lies to you throughout the entire game.

"Re-write of the after credits scene in Inquisition to recontextualise the Flemeth and Solas interaction" it's recontextualized because now we know who and what they were to each other. Learning new information does that. This is literally what happens all the time in science and history. You recontextualize what you thought you knew with new information. You're supposed to change your position, not whine about how the new information makes everything different.

These are just some of the things I pulled from a list on a post in which someone was really just upset about everything. Everything. Varric, Morrigan, Solas, everything. But I can't take their criticisms seriously, because they're upset that "too much was told" and "not enough shown" and yet didn't even pay attention to DA lore or in-game dialogue or context clues around the world of Northern Thedas to answer their own questions.

Everything in this game makes complete sense if you use lore from prior games and a single iota of imagination to see how it fits. We've had many delightful posts discussing this, seeing how things could be explained, when approaching the game from a place of curiosity rather than being upset because personal headcanons weren't satisfied or long-held expectations weren't met.

[pumpkinpaix]

Very curious for your opinion- what do you think of it when people write modern au wwx as being very active in social justice movements? Personally, I can buy it but I don't think it should be a given?

maybe an unwise first question to pick out of my moldering askbox but whatever it's the first one that i felt like i had an answer prepared for off the cuff so yolo i guess!!

short answer: at this point, i don't buy it. It's a detail that I can and have put up with for fics i really like for other reasons, but i think it's pretty far off the mark in terms of how I understand wei wuxian's primary motivating forces.

ok now to get into the weeds! :D

there are several reasons why wei wuxian being heavily involved in social justice movements doesn't ring true to me--the easiest one to point to from outside the narrative is that the sort of activism wei wuxian is written to participate in is often modeled on how social justice circles look in the US. It feels really culturally alienated in a lot of ways. I can't really blame authors for this, though, because it's a very understandable approach to write what you're familiar with--but it does often take me out of the story because i find it kind of jarring, especially if the story in question is ostensibly supposed to be set in China where modern social activism necessarily looks very different than in the states.

but that kind of feels like metagaming the question, so: in terms of interpreting the text, i really just don't think wei wuxian would be inclined to that kind of work for two main reasons.

first: I think he'd be really bad at it lol. social activist movements are necessarily collaborative, and wei wuxian is kind of terrible at playing well with others, compromising, discussing, etc. he often favors action over diplomacy and has terrible impulse control, tending to act first, think later, often to pretty devastating consequences for the people he's ostensibly standing up for. See: antagonizing Wen Chao, which precipitates the chain of events that ultimately leads to the massacre at Lotus Pier; confronting the jins and basically threatening to kill everyone at jinlin tai if they opposed him, thus alienating all his potential allies and leaving the wen remnants essentially completely dependent on his individual power for survival etc. thus dooming them entirely when he died.

(also see: "can we stop talking and just start killing each other" at guanyin temple)

even really minor events in the past show the same kind of pattern, such as at the qishan conference when he throws his support behind wen ning as an archery competitor--wen ning panics in the spotlight and flubs his shots to public ridicule from being put on the spot. jiang cheng is the one who drags him away in mortification while wei wuxian simply doesn't give a shit about how it reflects upon him, not really considering how it might reflect on his sect.

i'm not saying that these were "wrong" actions to take in the moment: wei wuxian has an admirable righteous streak. he does not, however, always take other people into consideration when he makes his decisions. he basically ignores anyone who tries to change his behavior, sometimes carelessly, sometimes reacting with anger (Jiang Cheng, Lan Wangji, literally everyone post-sunshot frankly). that kind of individualist mentality is really ill-suited to activism, which requires an understanding that the individual has less power than the group and that you cannot bend the world around you. a lot of fandom comes down super hard on characters like jiang cheng and yu ziyuan for the things they say to wei wuxian, but i think they're honestly quite understandable, even if the way they express themselves is sometimes cruel or hurtful. the rationale isn't particularly surprising. It's one thing to act in a way that gets yourself hurt. It's another to do so when you know that your position will drag a whole lot of others down with you.

i feel that even if wei wuxian had the interest in joining a social activist group, he would probably eventually butt heads with the others until they either expelled him or he left himself. his thick skin would be a great tool in certain calculated actions (he would do very well as a symbol or a charismatic fall guy) but unfortunately, he's not very good at listening or adhering to a plan.

second: i just don't think wei wuxian thinks about systems of oppression very much. i summarized how i feel about his relationship to class already in this post from like 4.5 years ago (jeez.....) and I still stand by it! wei wuxian is not particularly class conscious because he is, in fact, relatively wealthy. he also like, pretty clearly doesn't think very hard about women's work or status either, except in personal terms--after all, he plays with A'Yuan frivolously, planting him in the dirt and does not think about the kind of work that goes into maintaining a standard of living, which is often women's work. (before anyone says anything, yes, i am aware he is not outright misogynist about women's work). throughout the text, wei wuxian just doesn't put a whole lot of thought into how a woman's gender might affect her status and power.

furthermore, this is kind of mentioned in the class meta, but again--wei wuxian's defense of the wen remnants isn't singularly motivated by the desire to uplift an oppressed class, because the wens are not an oppressed class. They are a sect, which is both familial and alliance-based, not an ethnic group or a class of people. Their treatment is still unconscionable, but it's not systemic oppression. the attempted killing of all the wens is not much different than xue yang's vendetta against the yueyang chang clan, except in scale. and until wen qing comes and personally begs him to help her find her brother, wei wuxian doesn't really have any thoughts to spare for the wen remnants and how they might be faring. he goes to help wen qing and wen ning because he owes them both a serious personal debt, which is something that he feels strongly about! and once he gets to the camps, he obviously isn't going to just ignore the other people suffering (esp because they are the wen sibs' immediate family). he is righteous, after all, but often fails to apply it in a big-picture way.

wei wuxian cares a lot about paying back those who have been kind to him or have helped him, which is pretty evident through his self-sacrificing streak throughout the narrative. he often forgets or deliberately does not take his own well-being into consideration--but, as established, he also forgets that he is not an isolated entity and that his well-being is tied to the well-being of others as well.

throwing himself in front of the brand to save mianmian, making sure everyone else gets out of the cave before he does, immediately coming to terms with having his right hand cut off, giving up his golden core, publicly distancing himself from yunmeng, personally defending the wen remnants, taking jin ling's curse mark onto himself, making himself into the yin flag at the second siege and so on--it's all one long extension of paying back debts, in some way.

personally, I think this is because he considers his entire life to be one that is owed--his life, his skills, his body etc. is all owed to others. I also think, however, that this tendency is often confused by fandom into characterizing wei wuxian as having low self-esteem, which he patently does not. wei wuxian thinks he's hot shit. he's arrogant, a show-off, and is so insistent in his own skills and abilities that he icaruses himself into literal bits. when he thinks he's about to lose his right hand he's like welp. guess i gotta learn how to do this with my left, without really any question about whether or not he can. of course he can! he's wei wuxian! can he bring wen ning back from the dead? for sure!! definitely!!!! can he totally do this night hunt blindfolded? hell yeah he can! and he's usually right. i think wei wuxian has very low self-worth, which is a different thing: he throws himself away at the drop of a hat for others that he cares about or feels indebted to because, whether consciously or unconsciously, he thinks that their well-being, survival, happiness etc. is something he should ensure at any cost, even himself because he owes it to them. he owes his whole existence!

so circling back to the initial topic, I think this pattern of thinking is pretty at odds with social activism. he puts those he feels he owes above himself, but doesn't have a lot of attention to spare for people he considers irrelevant--which is most people. (never learning jin zixun's name, for example). I think that while he understands the nature of systems of oppression to a certain degree (like, he understands jin guangyao's motivations, but he's not particularly interested or sympathetic), it's not something he's really passionate about correcting. his reaction mostly seems to be like "well, that sucks". he only really goes out of his way to defend those that he has personal affairs with or those that happen to pique his notice

wei wuxian doesn't actually have big-picture ambitions. he didn't want to be a leader of anything or start his own sect or anything else. he doesn't spend much of his thoughts on making a better world so much as how he might be able to be content in the world that exists with the people that he cares about. that kind of self-focused drive leaves me unconvinced that he would get involved in social justice in any meaningful way in a modern au. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ i think that makes him a really fun protagonist, tbh. the tension between his selfishness and his propensity for self-sacrifice makes for a very interesting dynamic.

.....

:'] i guess i never left the weeds.

(ko-fi)

[monabee-draws]

I'm convinced that people say the interpersonal conflicts in DAV are solved too quickly because they don't bring opposing companions along with them on missions. Davrin-Lucanis, Lucanis-Harding and Taash-Emmrich have some of the funniest (and most antagonistic) dialogue in the game. It's no Morrigan-Alistair but it is quite revealing of both characters in each pair. Davrin and Lucanis both heavily believe they are correct and find any way to get under each others' skin. Lucanis wholly accepts Harding's distrust which just makes her even more distrustful. And Taash is constantly freaking out about/'can we not' with the undead (with skin still on them.) If you actually listen to these arguments play out before their resolutions (post-Weisshaupt) then they don't feel quick and light at all. In fact, the point at which they're resolved feels very natural. All of them just undertook an incredibly horrifying mission together and had to rely on one another as a full team for the first time. Things went badly. They're all struggling with despair.

Davrin and Lucanis lash out at each other because of their own internal faults with themselves (with regard to Weisshaupt's conclusion) and as a result, realise that they're projecting onto the other. Both of them are professionals and capable of seperating their personal feelings from the work - especially after recognising that it's probably personal feelings that lead to the mess at Weisshaupt - and move on.

Lace realises Lucanis and Spite working together is the only way forward, so she stops threatening Lucanis about the situation because framing Spite as wholly negative is making things worse. So she gives him the enchanted arrow to show that she trusts him - both as just Lucanis and as the abomination she's been terrified of. He, of course, gives it back, because in order to work with Spite he needs the reassurance that someone will stop him if things go wrong. They see each other and their fears and realise the work has to go on and they do it.

Taash and Emmrich are a little different. Both of them are people with incredibly strong beliefs about spirits and bodies that clash on what I think is a fundamental level. Taash expresses this through disgust in a way Emmrich perceives as needlessly antagonistic. But he doesn't recognise or respect Taash's boundaries or discomfort the way he's shown to do so in the roundtable discussions and other character moments. He pushes and pushes from a place of the 'professor' trying to figure out their reasons as if its an experiment (which Lucanis correctly identifies as Emmrich's modus operandi with regard to Spite as well.) It takes a silly argument for Emmrich to get what he wants - the particular truth of Taash's discomfort - and he immediately realises his fault. Taash also recognises their way of dealing with their discomfort wasn't helping. The solution? To either try and reconcile their mutual mismatch of interests (necromancy and dragons) or find other topics (the LoF and plants.

I think it's important that Rook is there for this particular reconciliation because it is not a professional disagreement, it is a personal one. Taash and Emmrich do not have to find common ground to continue working well together (unlike the aforementioned pairs where dialogue and missions show that their antagonism is actively getting in the way of work.) They don't need to be friends. But despite this, both are willing - and able thanks to Rook's interpersonal skills - to do so anyway.

In the face of overwhelming despair, we see three different resolutions between clashing people for the sake of beating back that despair. All of these people need to be here, and they need more than just barely functional working relationships to manage the scope of the horrors and the professional pressure they are facing. Of course they resolve these conflicts over time. And of course it happens for the most part post-Weisshaupt. Their personal issues still exist, but team cohesion is now staring them right in the face as a vector for failure. This is an issue they can fix NOW, even if they can't save the world yet, it will get them closer (or at least stop them from drifting farther away.)

I also think this is why having The Cobbled Swan Case and Blood Bath set just after Weisshaupt is also perfect. Neve/Lucanis are Rook's 'colleagues with a grudge' and represent the interpersonal conflict that is preventing professional success.

Tldr; the pacing for conflict in VG is good, actually. Take your companions out in weirder configurations, it helps.

[thequeenofsastiel]

Decided to watch "Who is Luigi Mangione" on MAX, despite my reluctance given the fact that I believe in "innocent until proven guilty", and it was one of the most irresponsible pieces of propaganda I've ever seen. The whole thing was clearly an attempt to carry water for the prosecution. They had people go on and on about what a "good man" Brian Thompson was and all the good he could do in life. They very briefly touched on the fact that he was being investigated for insider trading and that UHC had the highest denial rate among "health" insurance companies, before going back to talking about how wonderful he and his family were. They didn't mention once that when he became CEO his actions shot up the number of denial claims, to the point that the company went from making $12 billion dollars in profit to $16 billion in four years. A small amount of time was spent on people discussing the harms of the "health" insurance industry, but it amounted to maybe two minutes of the 42 minute episode. They acted like killing Brian Thompson was completely irrational and that he was a mere scapegoat, instead of what he actually was, which was one of the biggest examples of corporate greed in the "health" insurance system in the United States.

When it comes to Luigi, they not only portrayed him as unequivocally guilty(though they had a couple of people throw in the word "alleged" with heavy sarcasm), but they also did their best to portray him as mentally unstable, calling him a narcissist. The show also didn't bother to question the evidence, such as the backpack that was supposedly left in Central Park full of monopoly money, but also happened to be with Luigi when he was arrested?? Or the different jacket?

They also didn't mention how fucked up it is that so much media and governmental attention was paid to this one murder simply because the guy was rich and powerful. People are shot dead in the streets all the time in this country. But because it was a rich, white CEO, everyone has fallen all over themselves to bring attention to it.

It was disgusting, and clearly only got created in a ploy to influence potential jurors. It's hard, because free speech is a thing in this country, but it feels like that sort of propaganda designed to convict a possibly innocent man shouldn't be allowed.

*Sigh*

Then again, there have been plenty of jokes about it on YouTube and TikTok, and lots of social media posts pointing out everything I'm saying. Still, none of those things have gotten the backing of a huge media company. Which shouldn't be astonishing, rich people like to look out for other rich people during a peasant revolt.

It's just all garbage.