#also new chapter soon (tm)

[trashcanwithsprinkles]

So, lemme give some context on why I'm bringing this theory today. I was rereading Cyanide and noticed something during chapter 10...

This line said by Morax :

"No, it would seem you instead utilize your own innate energy - this would imply your pool of innate energy is... much larger than the average Adeptus. We cannot rule out this being a human trait, but given there are no Vision bearers at the point in time... Well, regardless. It is with this innate energy that you gather the elemental imprint of the energies around you, and, likely by utilizing your Vision, parce the Hydro from the non-Hydro."(ok the many lines- I realized that more and more of his dialogue would work to support the little theory I'm about to dump here so I kept adding on lolol)

With the information received in the past chapters, some pieces started to form in my mind... We know that Ajax has some Volchiy and Zvezdochoty blood, but other then his hair and eye color along with what Rex Lapis told him, we didn't have much to show that he was a descendant of both and while his control over hydro was pretty good, it came from his tedious training. But now, now that I'm rereading... this "innate energy" that is apparently "much larger than the average Adeptus" feels very suspicious. What if it came from his Volchiy lineage? I mean, they are amphibious right? So for them and their descendants to have a natural affinity to Hydro would make sense. It would also explain why he would go deep in the waters of Luhua Pool to gather his thoughts during chapter 5 or when he went into the tank that was in the Hydro chambers in chapter 38, the water brought him comfort, it might've felt natural to go there. The fact that he could use Hydro the way he did towards the begining was probably also thanks to his Volchiy and Zvezdochoty blood, seeing how both are definitely not human, and could thus probably use the elements in a way that is more similar to that of the Adepti. So, because of that, Ajax likely has a lot less restrictions when it comes to how he uses Hydro, unlike normal Vision holders from future Teyvat. Sprinkles(it feels rude to call you Trashcan so Sprinkles it is), did you plan this from the begining? If so, then massive Kudos to you for having this much foresight on what you intend to do!

WOW, ok, uuuh I was pretty hyperfocused there haha, anyways... I can't think of anything more to add so... yeah! That's my little theory :)

i feel so seen rn,, i did in fact (more or less) plan this tysm for pointing it out;;; my efforts have been validated

(i say more or less bc some details were indeed added along the way bc they just fit, but for the most part it was all planned)

the gigantic pool of innate energy is a mix of both actually. it's bigger than the average Adeptus' because it's a combination of a human's (which is bigger than they would think they'd be, not as large as ajax', but still larger than they'd expect) and the mixed non-human heritage. they sort of- add together, which resulted in ajax having a comically large pool of innate energy. so you're correct in that it relates to his heritage, but not in that- like- he pool being huge is *just* bc of his heritage. still!

everything else is right on the money. like yeah ajax is really good at elemental manipulation but his familiarity w hydro does indeed come from his ancestry. but since he's the only human to have had control over it in who knows how long (in his world) it never really registered as odd to him that he found so much comfort in water. like- he just said 'oh well i guess im just a child of the ocean' and left it at that.

another detail to add to your theory that you might notice once you get there but i'm putting it here anyway bc now you've enabled me- ah, in the tsaritsa's monologue when ajax n co swoop in to the rescue (i believe) she mentions how it must've been his connection to the abyss what enabled her to send him back in time without completely exhausting all her energies (which would've required her to go to the brink of death to acomplish. what she doesn't know, of course, is that what made it easier for ajax to go from his world to teyvat was that the roots of his lineage were- well, in teyvat. it's not the abyss (it don't work like that), as she thought, but his ancestry. she might not have been able to send him back and then survive if he hadn't had non-human blood from teyvat in him hahah

anyway uh- thank you!! this comment made me smile like an idiot <3

[pharawee]

Gather around, fellow BL aficionados, it's time for part four of my Pit Babe novel commentary.

(And if you want to catch up, here are parts 1, 2 and 3.)

A word of warning: since I'm pretty far into the novel now (every post summarises five chapters) expect heavy spoilers, plot twists and revelations.

Oh, and omegaverse shenanigans. So many omegaverse shenanigans. You've been warned.

Also, a small warning for talk about and the aftermath of SA. As usual, please take care. 💜

Now, where were we? Oh, yeah: Way is the big bad enigma and he's been hypnotising Babe all this time - but gently (tm) because, you see, Way really, really loves Babe so that makes it all right...

Yeah, no. Get fucked, Way.

Currently, Way is still passed out on the floor, but as soon as Babe has come to terms with whatever the hell just happened, Charlie (who came to Babe's rescue just in time, remember?) offers to wake him up.

How? Oh, that's easy. He can put people to sleep at will. It's one of the many powers he absorbed from other powered alphas. That's his whole thing: he steals powers and just keeps them - like Rogue in X-Men but without any of the downsides. And as long as he's alive, the powers stay with him, never to return to their previous owner. Unless they die, in which case Charlie loses that particular power forever. Which in turn means that if Charlie dies... but keep that in mind for later.

Oh, and another one of Charlie's powers: changing his scent at will. Goddammit, Charlie.

As for how he knew that Babe was in danger? Jeff told him because he can see into the future. X-Men omegaverse, here we go.

But anyway, when Way wakes up he's confused because the last thing he remembers is SAing his supposed best friend. Now there's Charlie staring daggers at him, and one very angry Babe. Since Way is pathetic (but not the good kind) he attempts to explain: yes, he's actually Babe and Charlie's adoptive brother. Their father sent him to lure Babe back home and, well, get him pregnant. That was ten (10) years ago.

But, you see, Way is such a nice guy (tm), he didn't want to force Babe! Instead, he set out to ruin him for everyone else, thereby making it impossible for him to grow or heal or trust or love. Whenever Babe met someone he connected with, Way swooped in to poison his mind. And whenever Babe recoiled from that new connection, he turned to Way - the only person he could 100% trust. Or so he was made to believe.

So the Babe we meet at the beginning of the novel (and series) isn't really Babe at all. It's the version of Babe Way wants him to be - and for what? For ten years of pining and mindfuckery? What the hell kind of plan is this?

Oh yeah, the kind that gets you punched in the face. Thank you, Babe, you're really speaking my mind here.

And this is the part where the novel really shines because it doesn't just gloss over the implications of abuse. It doesn't leave Way's many empty apologies uncommented:

"I know what I did was unforgivable. I—" "Did you just realize this? Are you like this because I found out just in time?" Babe's voice boomed as anger flared in his heart. No matter how hard he tried to suppress it, he couldn't. "When I'm unconscious, you can assume it's okay to do it, right?" "I didn't want to do it at all…" "I don't care!" Babe shouted. "The point is, I don't want it! And you have no right to do this to me!"

But when Way's attempts to nice-guy himself out of his predicament don't work, he tries to shift the blame onto Charlie. Because Charlie lied too and, after all, didn't Way warn Babe about him?

Yeahhh, he's still trying to manipulate Babe. Way isn't sorry at all, he's only sorry he's been caught. Or, as the novel aptly puts it:

For Way, this might be like a love confession. But for Babe, it was no different from admitting his crimes.

But the novel doesn't leave it at that.

"So what's next?" Babe asked in a calm voice. "Should I thank you?" "What…" "I asked if I should thank you because you didn't rape me?" [...] "Should I thank you for not forcing me to bear your child?" "Babe…" “Even for my life, my body, and everything about me, I still have to wait for your mercy?”

And that's that. Ten years of (false) friendship have been erased just like that.

Really, I'm sorry for adding so many quotes but this whole chapter is just perfect in its blunt directness. It excels in giving Babe back his autonomy - the very thing Way has taken from him.

We'll return to our regularly scheduled omegaverse shenanigans after this bit:

"Did you know that every time you said that [there was never anyone suitable for me], it made me feel like I didn't deserve anyone's love?" [...] "And it's as if the only love I can receive is love from you…" Babe's sobs were so loud that his voice trailed off, but he took a deep breath and continued talking: "…but you never asked me what I really want." [...] "You only care about your own desires. You want to have me. You want to have children. You tried to make me love you and then agree to have children with you. Even though you always knew that I never wanted to have children." "I know you don't want to have children. And I know why," Way replied with a look that seemed to understand. But Babe knew that he didn't understand anything, not at all. "But because I know. That's why I want to change your mind." "It's not your job to change me."

And then, when Way has the audacity to try and hug him, Babe throws him over his shoulder and slams him right onto the floor, and even Charlie is like, damn, guess for a moment there I forgot how amazing Pit Babe is.

Damn right he is!

Later that night, things are winding down and Charlie insists on staying with Babe - just to make sure he's all right. Because unlike some people (!) he actually knows when to give Babe some space, and so he settles down on the couch in the living room while Babe stays in his bedroom.

But, understandably, Babe can't sleep. There's too much on his mind, none of it particularly good. He misses Charlie and, really, he's in dire need of an emergency hug.

It's Babe who approaches Charlie (only of course Charlie knew all along because he has super hearing now and he heard Babe's tossing and turning. Goddammit Charlie). They reconcile and it's really sweet because, in stark contrast to Way, Charlie's apology is heartfelt and reassuring and full of compassion. He also knows that Babe has been through a lot, so when Babe engages in their usual ritual of make-up sex, Charlie is hesitant:

Babe is so strong that he can lift bigger people and throw them to the ground. But believe me, no one is mentally strong enough to not be hurt by dirty things like that.

I just love how clear and concise the novel is on this part.

Anyway, they talk it out and Babe says that he wants to try anyway. What follows is a really sweet sex scene (but don't worry, Babe's still getting railed by his daddy to his heart's content - some things just don't change). There's talk about wild horses. I don't know why and honestly I'd rather not dwell on it.

Meanwhile, Way is being chewed out by Khun Tony (aka everyone's least favourite adoptive father). He's quite a bit upset but, honestly, what did he expect? He's the one with the stupid plan in the first place. Why did he even agree to let Way pine into Babe's general direction FOR TEN YEARS until he maybe catches feelings? The dude can hypnotise people! Just order him to do his evil immoral job!

But anyway, it's too late now. Babe's powers are already gone so breeding him (whyyy...) is pointless. Tony has a new target now: Charlie.

To my immense relief even Way is like, ew.

But it matters little because daddy dearest has contigency plans in place (and where were these plans TEN YEARS AGO - worst evil alpha breeder ever!). He orders Way to leave X-Hunter and return home immediately - and who knows, once Charlie is out of the picture Babe might end up as leftovers for him. Okay then.

In happier news, Charlie wakes up the next day with Babe's hand on his, well, little Charlie. I'm not being a prude here, that's what Babe calls it. It's a whole conversation, followed by - you guessed it - more sex.

Something is different this time, however. Without hesitation, Babe tells Charlie that he loves him, and then he asks him to be his boyfriend - to which Charlie eventually agrees. More sex happens. Actually, all of this happened during a blowjob which is very on brand for Babe. Things get disgustingly cute when Babe realises that this is the first time they're ~making love~ as boyfriend and boyfriend. This leaves him incredibly shy. Thanks to Way's meddling, he never had a boyfriend, after all. This is his first time being in love, and it's exactly as adorable as it sounds. Only with more mindblowing sex.

This includes sex in Charlie's supercar after a training session right on the racetrack (again I ask, have you even seen the interior of a racecar? How? Where? And who's cleaning this up? The mechanics??) as Jeff and Alan watch from afar.

"Why don't the two of them get out of the car?", Jeff said quietly as he looked at Charlie's car which had been parked near the finish line for a while and he saw no signs of it coming down.

Oh, my sweet summer child.

But yes, I'm happy to report that Jeff and Alan are probably going to be a thing in the novel too. This Jeff isn't a mechanic though. He doesn't even study engineering but oceanography (because he likes the ocean even though he's never seen it - live your dreams, my dude!).

As they sit and bicker, Jeff is suddenly struck by what seems to be another vision of the future. Whatever it is, it can't be good because it makes Jeff cry. Uh-oh.

He asks Charlie to meet him at his condo, and Charlie immediately notices that something's wrong. Only this time it's not Babe he needs to worry about. It's all of them.

I'm worried too but mostly for my own sanity.

Remember when I first explained about Tony's evil breeding program? Ah, those were easier, more pleasant times. Because now Tony figures that if he can't get an enigma to impregnate Charlie, he'll just get Charlie to impregnate an omega (because apparently there's a 50% chance that the baby will be an alpha with special traits - why is this novel explaining Mendel's laws of omegaverse inheritance to me?) .

Jeff is an omega.

And this is what Jeff saw: if they don't act now, at some point in the future Tony will have Charlie and Jeff brought back "home" and use aphrodisiacs on them (one up for the trope counter!). Jeff will get pregnant and as soon as their baby is born Tony will dispose of both Jeff and Charlie. This will cause Babe to seek revenge and get killed in the process.

What did I just read?

The novel keeps this from us for a while, and just casually mentions that Charlie isn't overly worried. He even finds the time to be jealous when one of Babe's old acquaintances shows up to Charlie's next race. They argue. The race starts without them reconciling, so naturally that means Charlie has an accident during the race.

It's bad enough that he's transported to the ER. But as the whole team anxiously awaits any kind of news, Babe realises in dawning horror that his heightened senses are slowly returning to him. He can hear Charlie's slowing heartbeat and the doctors fighting to reanimate him.

He listens as Charlie is pronounced dead.

The novel then cuts to Charlie's funeral which is only attended by a handful of people, mostly members of Team X-Hunter. Babe does not cope well at all but at least he's got Alan and Jeff to take care of organisational things.

Speaking of Alan and Jeff. These two have grown quite a bit closer. Close enough that Jeff asks Alan to let him take a look at Charlie's crashed car. The police are already investigating but Jeff wants to see for himself. Hm.

Meanwhile, Babe is alone at his condo, going through several stages of grief all at once (really, it's heartbreaking but so is the length of this post so I'm trying to keep things short). He's interrupted during the bargaining stage by someone knocking at the door. It's Way and he's come to offer his help. Babe might be grieving but he's not stupid, and so they meet up at a coffee shop nearby.

Way all but confirms that Charlie's accident was Tony's doing. What he meant to do was incapacitate Charlie but unfortunately Charlie died. OOPS. What a brilliant plan, really.

Seems like even Way has had enough of Tony's evil schemes so he's banded together with another enigma in order to bring Tony down. Said enigma is actually Tony's eldest "son" who seems to have escaped from his control to do his own (financially very successful) thing and bide his time until Tony eventually slips up.

That enigma is none other than Pete.

That's right. Pete and Way have teamed up to bring down Tony, and they're asking Babe to help them. Babe tentatively agrees.

While this is going down, Jeff visits some random uncle's secluded house. He's greeted by none other than Charlie (now somewhat worse for wear but very much still alive) who's faked his own death with the help of a man named Reval. Charlie feels guilty for lying to Babe again but they can't involve him in this: once hypnotised, he's still under Way's influence (uh-oh...) and could risk all of their careful planning.

Their plan? Getting rid of Charlie's powers before Tony can get to them.

This is where Reval comes in. He also has powers: he can somehow disconnect an alpha (or omega or enigma, I suppose) from their powers - which is apparently a very difficult and time-consuming process (and would otherwise kill the alpha), especially with someone with as many powers as Charlie.

Why does Reval do this? Oh, he's Babe's real father who's been in hiding until now out of shame and guilt (and some memory loss). Surprise!

Also, very convenient. 🤡

[worldismyne]

What I learned from writing over 200K in one year.

Today marks one year since being able to weekly update brand new fics. Thanks to nanowrimo, I also have a backlog of abt 6 months worth of fics not including the stuff posted for challenges.

That said.

1. Sweet jebus take care of your body.

Get a good chair to write at.

Do this the second you get carpal tunnel symptoms

Do this daily to prevent carpal tunnel and shooting pains

Nano and Dec killed my back and I'm still trying to recover from it. It's really hard to pace yourself

2. Gamify your word count

A lovely person in the GW server has an excel sheet that tallies monthly word counts. Adding to that gave me the dopamine rush to write every day. The process was slow, but I went from struggling to get 10K a month out to 70K in Dec.

Making the reward be putting something to paper rather than the quality of that something or if someone liked it, really rewired my brain and made it easier to write.

3. Write as soon as the idea interests you

I got some ADD, so if I outline or prewrite too heavily, it kills the enjoyment for me. As soon you got an idea, put it down. A scene will be 100% more vibrant and emotional, if it's something that interests you rather than something you remember being interesting.

Explore the idea fully in that first draft and then worry about the details later.

4. It's okay to have multiple WIP

Idk why I ever thought I had to finish a story before moving onto the next one. Sometimes working on two projects with wildly different tones keeps both fresh and fun.

I'm not always in the mood to write angsty slice of life, sometimes I wanna do something fluffy or a one-off trope. Freaking do it. Worst case scenario, you cranked out a few bad ideas while workshopping your WIP (tm).

Also, there's no such thing as the perfect idea. Some concepts will really click with people, some won't. Having a variety of stories helps strengthen your writing in all areas.

5. Finish before you post

Getting low readership or no comments used to give me writerblock like crazy. I'd write myself into a corner and because earlier chapters were posted, I couldn't work backwards and figure out where the narrative broke on me.

Finishing everything first, working on a diff WIP and then going back to edit it after I forgot what I wrote 10/10 process for me. Now I feel less guilty when I need breaks and it's harder to get discouraged by low engagement. It's already finished.

6. Join fandom events (if you're able)

Creating stuff by yourself is lonely. Sometimes bouncing ideas off of another person, seeing what kind of stories they like or write, it inspires you to work on your own things.

And OMG I can not tell you how valuable it is to hang out with people in the same fandom that do not ship your ships! Fans of the same source material will have different interpretations of the characters, different moments from the source material that speak out to them. Incorporating those perspectives into your writing will make for a more well rounded version of those characters.

[syncopatedid]

The fact that both Ai and Aqua have NO shadow in this art teaser is sending me.

Yes, I've been following this series, yes I love Aqua and may or may not have a collection of him (and Kana is Best Girl)! I was even super convinced all the way up to chapter 165 that everything that played out would be revealed to be a big elaborate lie* meant to pull the wool over our eyes because I thought the author had the chops to tell a story well. And so, having 166 be the ending was certainly... uh... a Choice (tm). I am still in denial though because there's a 26pp special coming soon, lemme believeeeee~!

Manga spoilers ahoy.

*Also let me explain: While I am not opposed to tragic endings (looking at you, Banana Fish), I think this "life sucks, then you die" conclusion we got is more a sign that the author painted himself into a corner, got tired, and wants to wrap up and move on (blink twice if you're being held hostage, sensei!) My best girl did not even get a proper rejection or closure and that is the one true tragedy.

More importantly, if the ending WAS going to be Ruby "living the lie" in place of Ai as a way of going full circle, I do feel the theme would have been way stronger had the "lie" been even an bigger one that EVERYONE is in on and not just Ruby: that not only did Aqua survive—he could be in a coma, in a really bad state or incapacitated for life, just not dead dead��all the chapters following the incident were of the rest of the cast being willing accomplices to Aqua's final revenge: manipulating the truth and selling the final big lie to US, the public/audience.

Tying back to the reality TV arc where we got a glimpse of just how easy it is to sway public perception + the fact that everyone Aqua is involved with belongs to the entertainment industry, it's not a stretch to think that news of his death and the characters grieving were all what the public was meant to see and interpret accordingly as planned. This not only garners sympathy from the public but will in all likelihood absolve Aqua from further controversy and keep Ruby's reputation intact. Aqua reported "death" will mean he'll not be able to show his face in the entertainment industry again, but assuming he's not permanently in a coma or some other debilitating state, it is not difficult for him to "retire" and go into hiding (and be forgotten by the world as time goes on)... at least something to that effect. It is a small price to pay to disappear from the public eye. Sure, I guess it could be considered convoluted that Aqua somehow "miraculously" survives. Still, subverting expectations only works if there is enough buildup and hints along the way that would lead us to agree with the conclusion even if it's not something we'd personally wish for (which, to sensei's credit, Ruby's ending actually does makes sense). If chapter 166 is well and truly the end and we're not getting an epilogue where we find out we were gloriously trolled (which WILL be well played, btw), then I guess the ride was fun, but the dismount could really use more effort and thought.

[tams-writeblr]

Love in a hopeless Place 9

Synopsis: She was barely grown up, when she stepped into the bar that was the center of Zaun's resistance. The people she met there would forever change her life, and one of them especially. Silco x reader/OC; first-person POV; overall rating: E for Explicit; canon-compliant (though I might make a stretch on the timeline here and there to make things fit my symbolism); age gap! (younger female, older male); 9 chapters; 45k; cis female reader/POV; no beta-reader; completed Chapter ratings/warnings: M for Mature, slight smut, unprotected sex, mention of abortions Wordcount: 1.5k Author's note: Silco's good boy TM facade is slowly getting cracks, but our POV character (let's call her Kid from now on) might be a little too innocent to notice yet. Just have something a little juicy for the weekend. To understand better: I imagine that the characters of Arcane know the facts of life, but there aren't any contraceptives available, especially in Zaun, Piltover might be better off. Comments would be appreciated!

Today's music recomentation: Nirvana - Where did you sleep last Night

<- previous | next ->

Act II

Chapter I

Part 3/4

And just like that, Silco and I fell into a pleasant rhythm of me staying at his place all weekend, sometimes (if one of us was very needy) visits at work leading to nights under the week spent in his apartment too.

My father watched me spread my wings with worry, but he never asked me who the person was that planted a smile on my face, whose clothes I would bring back home after weekends away, whose jacket I was constantly carrying around (though I agree, that that one would have been an easy guess). He just seemed glad when my stepmother remarked that they must have been treating me very well, as I was almost glowing with happiness.

Alex was a little jealous that between work and "my strange boyfriend", as they called Silco, they didn't see much of me anymore.

So I promised to take them dancing at least once a month.

Over our short time together, I noticed that Silco wasn't one to sleep much. 

He usually got up one or two hours before dawn, even if we went to bed late.

Sometimes I woke up as he tried to sneak out of bed. 

He would then tell me to go back to sleep and be unbothered by his crazy schedule.

Sometimes I heard the apartment door close behind him, as he left for those few hours, he expected me to be still asleep. Sometimes, when he was late, he came back with breakfast, pretending he had only been away to get this.

I didn't like how secretive he was about his whereabouts, but the more I tried to get into him, the more he shut up. So I decided to go with it for now. I didn't expect him to be cheating on me, so I just assumed that he needed those few hours in the morning to do whatever he couldn't while I was with him, and I wanted to give him that.

He also let me do, whatever I wanted.

So who was I to prohibit him anything? Sometimes I was just worried about his safety, as the violence around the border bridge had gotten to a new high and enforcers were roaming through the lanes mercilessly. When I told him that, he only gave me a mild smile.

"I've been dealing with these bastards for all my life. I know how to handle them. But thank you for your concern." He was frustrating me with how little he cared for my worries, but I didn't have the strength to talk back.

So I just let him go his way, and every time I heard him leave, I prayed that he'd return home in one piece.

One day he had been gone for an outstanding long time, and to give my head something more to think about than all the horrible things that could have happened to Silco, I was busying myself with housework. 

I could have easily left, and a smarter girl would probably have and wouldn't have returned until their partner came back for them crawling on their knees. But I wasn't that smart of a girl.

While my father had always kept me very sheltered, my stepmother had asked of me to help around the house as soon as she was pregnant with her first child, and I never stopped.

She also had her job as a hairdresser, that she didn't want to quit just because she was a married mother now, so I had helped raise my brothers, and I had helped a lot around the house. There were cores I liked and ones I didn't like, but I could all get them done, if I had to.

So I was doing the dishes, dusting, sweeping the floor and finally even doing the laundry. I didn't know where the inhabitants of the building were supposed to do their laundry, but there was detergent in the community bathroom, so I just used the zinc tub to clean the clothes.

A lot of them were my own that I just had left at Silco's, but I also grabbed his things. 

I didn't mind doing them, when I was already at it. After quite the labor, I was finally hanging them out of the window onto a small drying rack that I had found under the kitchen counter. I didn't even hear the door open, I just heard the unfriendly "What the heck are you doing?" that announced the return of Silco. I turned to him, frowning. "Laundry. I had to wash my clothes, so I took yours too. Some of them had pretty bad stains." I didn't like the deep line between his eyebrows, it made him look years older. 

"You shouldn't do that. I can take care of my shit myself."

"Thank you for your hard work. It wouldn't have been necessary, but I appreciate the effort. That'd be a reaction I would like. Where the heck have you been so long? I was worried sick!"

"We were out of coffee, so I got some. Real coffee, not just substitute. You like your coffee in the morning, don't you?"

My anger eroded a bit. Real coffee was hard to get sometimes. I hated how he always had an answer for everything. "You still don't need to snap at me for doing your laundry. And cleaning the rest of the apartment too."

Silco ran a hand through his hair, and some more strands fell out of his ponytail. "I'm sorry," he sighed and placed the packet with coffee beans on the kitchen counter. "I'm just a little tense at the moment, I guess." He walked over to me and looked at my labor. "This must have been an awful lot of work," he hummed, pressing a kiss on my shoulder.

"It was," I sighed. "I think my arms will be sour for days."

He playfully pinched my biceps. "Ah, look at those muscles. What a strong, little woman I got myself there."

I chuckled, fully forgetting my anger.

He always knew how to get my mind on other things. "So now that your stuff is clean again, can I please have my shirt back?"

"Make me," I teased, only to be swept off my feet ones more.

"Not a problem, I'm still able to manage you, kid." He gave me a toothy grin and carried me over to the kitchen counter. Nibbling on my neck, he slowly unbuttoned the shirt I was wearing and pulled it down my shoulders. "Hm, no underwear, kinky."

"It was all dirty. I couldn't help it."

"But how dare you run around like this all morning, without me seeing?"

"That's not my fault either. Say thank you to the coffee," I teased back, and I bucked up to unbutton his shirt too.

He took me right here and there with his open shirt not even off his shoulders and his pants just pulled towards his knees. My boobs were sent jumping with each erratic thrust, and his fingers all over my body soon pushed me over the cliff.

I didn't pay attention to Silco's state as I was enjoying my pleasure, but that abruptly ended, when he stiffened and crashed into me, shooting his cum right into me.

He also instantly regretted his mistake and quickly pulled out. Our combined fluids leaked out of me, and I watched them drip on the floor with eyes wide open. "Fuck!" Silco's face landed on my chest. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to..."

I noticed I was shaking violently as I placed my hand on Silco's shoulder. For a few moments, neither of us knew what to do. Slowly, my mind didn't feel as clouded anymore, and I gently pushed Silco away to have him look at me. I cracked a smile. "Hey, it's okay, I'm due any day now. Nothing's gonna happen. It's not the end of the world, as long as you don't make it a custom."

His features softened slightly at my words. "You sure?", he croaked, and I shrugged.

"At least, that's what I learned."

Silco scratched his chin. "Good," he mumbled, and then helped me down the counter.

As I slipped back into his shirt, he also got fully dressed again and wiped away the mess we've made. I just stood there, between the bag of coffee and the sink, and watched his mind visibly work. "Come on, don't beat yourself up for this accident. I guess it happens."

"Yeah, accidents happen," he murmured and placed a hand on mine. When he looked into my eyes, I saw his typical determination. "But should an accident ever happen, be sure that I'll be there for you, and we'll handle it together."

That was sweet of him to say, but in the end, a woman had to go through an abortion on her own.

At least that's what I thought he was referring to.

[magiciansfanworksextravaganza]

Time to WARM UP!

WARM UP

Welcome to our first challenge, Warm Up! The AO3 collection is open, and we’ll be checking to reblog your posts several times each day. Please post your work anytime between Dec. 1-7, 2024 (Eastern time zone), following the instructions below.

This is a micro Magicians fanwork event. We’re especially interested in pieces that are small. Fic to about 1,000 words (drabbles, poems, and flash encouraged); smaller pieces of art; shorter vids/edits, mini-fanmixes; a cosplay moment. It’s your call; we’d love to see it all!

Additions to existing WIPs welcome, as are new works! If you started a piece for our challenge theme, but it’s longer than flash fiction, feel free to present a flash-sized piece as your first chapter, then add more chapters at your leisure! We’re a little flexible about the upper word limit—but anything above 1,500 words should go in a new chapter.

The “warm up” theme could include vibes that are warm, cozy, related to winter, being hot (in any sense of that word), warming up or preparing for a big event, just starting out in something like magic, or any spin you’d like to put on it! Here are a few additional prompts for inspiration: https://www.tumblr.com/magiciansfanworksextravaganza/768225224500117504/5-days-till-warm-up?source=share

There’s no need to sign up—just post to AO3 and/or Tumblr during Dec. 1-7, 2024 (Eastern time zone) following the instructions below so that we can find your work, reblog it, and add it to the masterpost.

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To post a new work, you can visit our AO3 collection and click "Post to Collection." To add your existing WIP, click "Edit," then under "Associations," "Post to Collections/Challenges," type "MFEWarmUp" and hit enter, then click "Post."

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Magicians Fanworks Extravaganza — Warm Up

We’ll be reblogging to the main page as we go; we’ll also keep the rules accessible on this page, and add works to the masterlist as we have time. We’ll finish updates and publish the final masterpost following the conclusion of the event.

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Not a requirement! Good for brainstorming & chatting with fellow TM fanworks creators.

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[thelongestway]

And this is it. :) The Nameless Fanfic (placeholder name stands, for now; I name things either first or last) is done.

That said, I'll probably be keeping The Nameless Fanfic as a series name, because I think I have a Situation for part 2.

Before then, though, I probably want to let this fic lie for a week or two, print it and do a proper line edit to put it on AO3. And also write a thanks-and-some-meta post. And do some proper formatting here. So... I don't know if part 2 is going to be soon (tm), but it might happen.

Meanwhile, I think this story is actually, properly finished. That was a ride, at least for me - I hope you, the readers, also enjoyed.

Without further ado...

Chapter 15: Play

After the checks and permits were resolved, Iceblink met me on top of the Tenacious' walkway, alone. She had gotten herself a pair of feed glasses and rigged a small keyboard bracer to her right arm, which she was typing on animatedly. A moment later, she motioned for me to follow her, then tapped my feed on a text-only channel as we walked.

Hi, SecUnit! Dandelion told me you liked talking in the feed more, so I hope you don't mind if I test my new deck?

Go ahead, I poked at Dandelion herself, but she only returned a curt poke back, and then went quiet again. It was kind of disturbing being inside her hull when she wasn't really there. Is your spaceship sulking?

XD XD XD ^____^ ahahahahaahaha

What the actual fuck was all of that?

Iceblink grinned at me.

Nah, she's not sulking. Never been the type. But she has been making herself scarce for a little bit, at least until the SSC gets back to Captain Reed about her case. BY THE WAY SEC UNIT.

It's SecUnit.

By the way, SecUnit! Dandelion ALSO told me you're some kind of media afficionado. She gave me A LIST.

No. Fuck you. You didn't let me download YOUR media.

:3 we didn't know you then!!! trade you? everything you got for everything we got?

…Fine.

Initiating transfer!

Iceblink started the file exchange, and then stopped walking for a moment, hand hanging over her keyboard. She looked at me. Then at a nearby speaker.

"That is still an incredibly bad idea." Dandelion said out loud.

"I know!" Iceblink groaned. "But it's just so… Frustrating. Are you sure that's not how they do things here?"

"Yes."

"Ugh." She began typing again. It is grinding my gears just to say this out loud, but, uh, SecUnit, do friendly people in feed security never really, you know, do blind penetration testing on each other as a kind of hello? No warning, you just start once someone decides you're good enough friends?

No. Because that would be incredibly stupid. And right now also an asshole move that would make you lose movie night privileges forever.

Pfft, even Dandelion only lost hers until we're getting back to Trellin. It's not healthy to deprive people of socialization.

The answer is still no. Don't fucking do it. How the fuck did that even get started???

We had a friend in the early node ship days, Tal Smithson. Dandelion suddenly inserted herself into our text channel. Ke liked training the new generation of IT specialists that way. Ke would have been very glad to see the tradition going, Iceblink, but… Not right now.

Iceblink sighed.

Yeah, Dandelion. I know. SecUnit, consider this a formal invitation to play if you want to. I won't start.

I said, Ok. I'll think about it, because Iceblink was definitely the sort of human who would keep pinging me until she at least got an acknowledgement. But then we got to the Friend's cabin, and Iceblink left me alone with a little wave.

The Friend was sitting at its desk, drawing up some schemas by hand. It looked up when I entered.

"SecUnit." It said. And it sounded weird. And it stared at me.

I stared past it. "Yes. I've got a package for you. From your clients."

It stood up and continued staring.

"SecUnit." It repeated. "Fuck. That wasn't a codename."

I held out the package. It took the box and put it down on the table, on top of the schemas. It had been conducting a post mortem threat assessment of the entire hostage situation.

We stared some more. Then I turned and walked out.

On my way out, I pinged Dandelion, and this time she opened a proper channel.

That was very weird. Are you sure it doesn't need a cubicle or something?

Yes. That was very strange. I don't know why it reacted to you like that. It had been a lot more animated when it told me that a former Friend should have known better, among many other things, and it seems back to normal now that you're gone.

What did you tell it?

She chuckled, sounding sad.

That a long time ago, a dear friend tried to cheer me up by telling me that I could still be a Friend. I took the vows, after all, I did the work. And I told them I couldn't. Not anymore. And that at a crucial juncture it turned out I'd been right.

Dandelion opened her hatch for me, and I walked out down the ramp, into the embarkation area.

Thank you for getting it out alive, SecUnit.

It didn't look like the Trellians would be hauling too much cargo any time soon, so I scanned the area and found an empty spot by the wall with a good view of the stars. I sat down there, and opened a shared feed workspace, then sent Dandelion an invitation. She accepted with a Query? that felt like a raised eyebrow.

I started the first episode of The Rise and Fall of Sanctuary Moon.

[rosemary-morgan]

Javier Escuella X F.Reader - It's never to late to repent (Part 7) 18+

(Pictures found on pinterest/google. Collage made by me 🌺)

Many thanks to @fangirl-ramblings 🖤 she has been beta reading for me 🌹

Chapter seven is online 🖤 You have been with me through so many chapters now, suffering along with the characters. Y'all are so great! Thank you for your support, that means so much to me. You have no idea 🖤

Tag list: @fangirl-ramblings @rose-of-black-blood @livingdeadgirly @coaxium-captain-rex @12timetraveler @butterballchannie @charlesjaviersimp @ashethesimp @planetahmane @snoowply @sylum @noodle-tm @karmashatty @nadnad09 @lill2350 @slightlyexpiredyogurt8 @natnuszsstuff @boniscute @books-arebetterthan-boys @pedropascalluvr69 @blackrosegarden6 @sie-werden-nie-vergessen @inlovewithjavierescuella @red-dead-flowers @ezzythereal1 @livvnob @rayeee10101 @mrsescuella22 @javiersgff @vnyxv1 @blue-buttercup

If anyone of you want to be tagged to not miss the newest chapter, please let me know 🙏 Thanks 🖤

👉Read Part 1 /Read Part 2 / Part 3 / Part 4 / Part 5 / Part 6

Summary: Where happiness is, the devil is not far away. And he sends his demons to torment those who have found happiness...

Warning: Trigger Warning! Rape! Read at your own risk! Huge angst alert!

Words: 1574 

Javier Escuella X F.Reader - It's never to late to repent (Part 7) 18+

It was very late at night and you were still lying wide awake in your bed. Outside it was storming and raining like crazy. It was always uncomfortable for you when thunderstorms were coming; you just felt uncomfortable. Every time it rumbled, you winced, and you could never understand how some people could see that as relaxation. Javier was such a person who could fall asleep very well during thunderstorms. 

Javier had been gone for a week now and of course, you missed him. But on the other hand, you were very proud of him, because he worked really hard to earn his money and to start a new life together you needed every cent. The dress you had made for Mrs. Hantoon had brought you good money and she had been so enthusiastic about your work that she had told her friends all about your skills and you could be sure to get more requests soon.

Since there was no point in tossing and turning in bed to find sleep, you get yourself up out of bed. You turn on the light by lighting an oil lamp, and put on your robe before leaving the bedroom. You felt the need to eat something small. Sometimes hunger came at night and you couldn't do anything to get rid of that feeling; or rather, you didn't want to do anything about it. What was wrong with satisfying your hunger? You still had some oatmeal cookies in the tin and you were looking forward to enjoying them with a cup of tea. You were a bit surprised when you saw a burning oil lamp on the dining table. Have you forgotten about it? This was not typical for you, but on the other hand you were alone in this house. 

However, you noticed a strange smell that you could not inhale at all and a strange feeling came over you immediately. 

You carefully placed the oil lamp in your hand on the table and carefully observed your surroundings. Something told you to leave this house immediately, but it was already too late.

You stopped, transfixed, when suddenly dark voices spoke to you and the shadows slowly formed into two men. Two strange men you had never seen before. Instantly you recoil and the only thought you have right now is the shotgun hanging on the wall that was within your reach. But you knew you had to be careful because these strangers were also armed and you would have a bullet between your eyes faster than you would reach your shotgun.

"What are you doing in my house?"

"We're just here for Mister Escuella."

"Javier? What business do you have with my man?"

They both laughed. They were the same men who had watched Javier and you from a safe distance some time ago. Cole was waiting outside for his men. Javier was not the priority right now; Angel Eyes wanted you, for  he knew that Javier would come to him once you were his prisoner. Still, he wouldn't make it quite so easy for Javier to find you...

"There is someone, including us, who has unfinished business with Javier. To find you here is a great pleasure for us."

"You better go now."

But the men were not intimidated by you, they were more amused at your attempt to force them out of the house.

"We don't take orders from women."

Henry, the big, robust man who looked like a bear, approached you and you could smell strong alcohol on his breath coming out of his mouth. You instantly felt sick.

"Sam, go to Cole. I'll be with you in a minute with this fine woman."

"What, you want her all to yourself?"

"Get the fuck out of here! I will fuck this whore's pretty pussy good! I've got priority! You can have her afterwards!"

"No!" you scream at the men in panic and horror. 

"Now go!"

Reluctantly, Sam left, unable to argue his case as he was last in the gang hierarchy and so he had no choice but to listen to Henry and reluctantly left the house.

You didn't care what would happen if you reached for your shotgun now, because you wouldn't let those bastards violate you! But Henry immediately reached for you, lifting you up as if you weighed nothing. He sets you down on the dining table and you instantly fight back as he pushes himself between your legs. He wastes no time in pushing your nightgown over your legs. Immediately you hit him and scratched his face, which made him very angry. Without warning he hit you in the face, pressing your entire body on the wooden table and you scream aloud. 

"Don't touch me! NO!"

You were scared and you panicked, because this man would rape you and there was nothing you could do about it.

"Hold still, little bitch!"

Another slap and the pain almost made you go numb.

"No... no..."

As he forcefully penetrated you, you screamed in pain and you couldn't believe what just was happening. This man was brutal and your whole body stiffened. He got what he wanted, yet you tried to escape him, but he kept pulling you back against him. 

"You dirty bastard! Stop it!"

You instantly remembered the oil lamp that was placed on the table, just a few centimeters away from you and you tried to reach for it, over and over again, but with each of his brutal thrusts you were pulled towards him again.

"Yes, you like that, don't you?! Does Javier fuck you that well?! Whore!"

You manage to grab the oil lamp and hit him right in the face with it, whereupon your tormentor cries out in pain, because you just burned half his face. The one moment where he lets go of you is enough for you to get your shotgun and you didn't hesitate, but you knew it wasn't loaded. Still, you managed to intimidate him with it. He remained standing on the spot as you threatened him with a look of rage.

"Get out of here, you bastard. Or I'll blow your brain to pieces!"

But everything was about to go wrong for you tonight because,  in the next moment, another man entered your home. It was Cole and immediately you aimed at him too, but he wasn't so easily to fool. 

"Miss." 

He took off his hat at the greeting and you could only shake your head as this behavior was absolutely inappropriate and ridiculous.

"Henry, what did you do to that lady?"

"What?! That fucking whore! Look at my face! I'll kill her!"

"You will do nothing of the sort. Calm down."

Cole was calm, relaxed. He was a man who was cold, who had no compassion for others. He always did a job cleanly and without detours.

"Miss, put the gun down before I'm forced to shoot you."

"GET OUT! YOU BASTARDS! OR I'LL KILL YOU BOTH!"

"We both know your shotgun isn't loaded."

Cole was very sure of himself. He pulled off his fine leather glove as he approached you and you knew you wouldn't get out of this desperate situation...

♦♦♦♦

"Javier, thank you for your help. You did a fantastic job!"

"Thank you, Mister Hazard."

"George. Just call me George."

The man's sympathetic smile was infectious and made Javier return it. He really couldn't have picked a better boss. 

It was just before sunset when the two men took another walk down to the lake.

"Ah, I could use a good beer right about now. How about you, Javier?"

"Yeah, sounds good!"

"Let's head on over to Billy's then."

Javier and George enjoyed the sunset for a moment longer. It was quiet and peaceful around them. 

"George?"

Javier gazed out into the lake, also looking at the sky, which was turning the most beautiful shades of red as the sun slowly set. Leaning against the wooden railing, he relaxed.

"Huh?"

"I still wanted to thank you."

George didn't know why or for what, so he looked at him a little confused at first.

"For what, Javier?"

"For clearing my head. But also for taking me in, giving me a chance to start a new life."

But George just smiled and grabbed his shoulder, squeezing it softly.

"Don't mention it, Javier."

Real life was just beginning for Javier and you, and he would do anything so you could have a happy life, too. And who knew if you wouldn't become parents again? The desire was deeply rooted in Javier, but that was a very sensitive subject for both of you...

It was still dark when Javier saddled his horse in the early morning hours and started his journey home. He wanted to be with you as soon as possible. With a smile on his lips, he thought of you and he couldn't wait to hold you in his arms. It occurred to him that he could get you another gift, because he had earned really well for his last job and he wanted to make you happy. Maybe a big bouquet of red roses? And something sweet to go with it? And another beautiful necklace? In Blackwater he would surely find what he was looking for in jewelry! Javier smiled a little, because he simply enjoyed making you happy. He would have some time to think of something nice. 

Javier didn't even suspect what terrible thing had happened...

[jandjsalmon]

2024 FRC - October 🎃

Hello friends! We just got back from New York! It was wonderful but we were exhausted and then Jay and I got sick. It's been a whole big thing. Anyway - we're glad to be home and hope everyone had a wonderful Halloween with lots of candy and fun.

I've just started beta reading a fic in a new fandom and I'm exited about it. Once it's published, I'll share with all of you. And I'm just about finished the @fanfic-reading-challenge - only have the "monthly" tasks left - so I'm pretty happy about that. As always, I'll drop a rec or two of what I've been reading this month. Enjoy!

A Better Fate by @tm-writes (57/57 E - Daemon/Rhaenyra) 

Why you should read this: OKAY - so if you want a fix-it that doesn't include time travel (there are lots of those in the HotD fandom) - then this is the fic for you. Devoted Daemyra with tons of fun intrigue and politics - with some magic and babies and other awesome stuff. And the Greens get what they deserve and that's a delight to read. I highly enjoyed it. It's also massive - so you'll want to climb right in and live in the story. I could happily start rereading it again and I just finished.

Ricochet by @icapturedthecastle (2/2 E - Osha/Qimir)

Why you should read this: Totally AU. It's a political bodyguard situation but it's wonderful. Qimir is particularly fun. Deadly but still fun - which is very in character even in an AU like this. Super fun read. As soon as the final chapter was posted, I dropped everything I was doing to read it. SO good!

One more thing - American friends - please please please make sure your voice is heard on November 5th. Your vote effects not just you (and your children and the generations of children who will be effected by a tyrant being in charge) - but everyone else around the world is counting on you too. Vote vote vote. 💙🌊

[azrielgreen]

hi az! i loved the new chapter, i couldn’t believe we got an update so soon! i have to ask: for the next chapter, is the twist going to have anything to do with any triggers not listed in the warning wall? i truly have no idea what to expect, and while i LOVE being surprised i would greatly appreciate if there’s any triggers to be wary of that hasn’t been listed yet for the fic (if it’s not too spoiler-y to share, of course!) 💜

Hi! Thanks so much, I really wanted it to be out before Christmas as a little gift for everyone! The finale chapter of Part Two will be THOROUGHLY content warned as always and I'll be using spoiler drop downs too, but no, there are no triggers NOT listed in the Warning Wall, which was also updated a few months ago. If anyone has any specific Q's about this or the triggers etc... please feel free to message me! This is The Event TM we've been building towards and it's going to be absolutely brutal so while I wouldn't ever want to spoil anything, I will be very thoroughly warning people too ~Az🖤🌈✨

P.S - I'd recommend maybe just scanning through the Warning Wall again as a refresher

[glowinggreeneyes-e]

Threads, 4.2k Capvers

Can be read as stand-alone but it's a chapter from There's a War Going On, AO3. I type like I'm a Victorian writer being paid by the word (derogatory).

papvers?? capventing??... capvers parenting but they're looking after an injured girl from West Horsley who wandered onto the Button House grounds. it's cute af. capvers also have Issues(tm), an 'It's Complicated' relationship status on 2008 Facebook, work-related tension bc of said angsty Issues, and yet still have penchant for fluff because gay love pierces through the veil.

May, 1940

The cloud-blocked sun still cast long shadows across the Captain’s dim study, bringing to prominence the weariness etched into the lines of his face and the aged floorboards grains. As he occupied himself with his duties, he became wreathed in wisps of smoke spiralling from the end of his pipe. Dust still kicked up with the gusts of the summer-soon reaching through the open window, capturing the Captain’s attention in moments of contemplation; he enjoyed watching it dance in the air, swirling in the rays of light, while his mind buzzed.

His gaze had been fixed on a document casing spread out before him - everything Operation Solder - it mocked him with its official title. Weeks had slipped through his fingers since he last penned a meaningful entry into the file, a truth that caused a pang of embarrassment to twist within him. However, he was quick to point out, that the fault wasn't solely his own: blame could also be apportioned upon Havers' shoulders.

Beyond the confines of their shared operations, distractions seeped into his consciousness. New training regulations fluttered in, War strategies billowed through the House, and novel projects beckoned him. Research and travel conspired to steal his hours, leaving him feeling as if he were forever chasing the hands of the clock. 

The camaraderie that once bound his unit had frayed from the incessant work, its once vibrant tapestry unravelling into isolated threads. A mere quartet, the remnants of his unit, were left finding solace in the pub's shady embrace: MacKenny, Jones, Thomas, and Johnstone, naturally. Card games and convivial offers came his way, but he abandoned those evenings once filled with social escapism. It was all melting into a mere memory. His realm of productivity demanded a vast expanse of solitude, the sanctuary of his own space, while he smothered himself in his charge.

It was a delicate orchestration of self-discipline; he navigated its intricate bars with an external resolute grace, but in his mind, he couldn’t be screaming louder.

It felt like he always ended up back here.

The tip of his index finger traced the inked signatures of his and Havers’ names adorning the bottom of the Operation’s title page. He then leafed through its neglected pages, though the Captain barely registered the innumerable notes or sketches or references. Instead, his mind only provided flashes of Havers’ research into silencers, Havers’ letters, Havers’ persistent obscurity.

At times, the Captain watched over the Lieutenant in the drawing room, capturing fleeting glimpses of Havers tutoring Roberts or pondering the world's weight with the end of a pen clamped between his teeth, or engrossed in the tomes that lined their shelves. Of course, the Lieutenant kept close attention to all communication: he’d be the first to ask Jones for the morning briefings from HQ, the earliest when sorting through paper correspondence, and the last to check MacKenny for news at night. 

The Captain witnessed Havers' self-imposed isolation, his entire hurt marked by being tight-lipped. While the two of them still found themselves captured in a web of tension, the library had provided a fragile interlude before trust dissipated into an elusive spectre. And with each stolen glance, each hesitant touch, the Captain recognized the preciousness of time slipping away, the dwindling opportunities to bridge the divide that had entrenched itself between them. 

Beneath the layers of frustration and reticence lingered a deeper truth - the profound and complicated truth that bound him to Havers. There, tightening like a torturous device around his heart, defeating his commitment to finding a way back to what they had once been, was a conviction that overrode everything else. Toxic in its intensity, consuming all reason, and yet refusing to be extinguished…

He couldn’t let it be the undoing of him: love. Especially when it was built on one man's lies.

Mid-afternoon had indolently rolled around with high clouds that cloaked the countryside. When duty had momentarily relinquished its grip, the Captain had, for the first instance that day, ventured to the kitchen for fresh water. He had dodged his unit on the way down, nipping behind walls and doors as if traversing through enemy lines, but instead, he was desperately hoping to be left in solitude.

This morning’s reports had drained his well of cordiality. An assault on the Low Countries was not just a whisper or hypothesis anymore, but a reality that gripped the world. One by one the states of Western Europe fell into occupation and War. In the trenches of his soul, Clarke sifted through the debris of disheartening news and searched for remnants of British optimism, to keep his capacity to carry on, keep to his duties, keep everyone in line.

It was after he had descended onto the ground floor landing, where silence gripped the empty space, that he was confronted by the existence of other people in the downstairs of Button House. Only this instance was entirely extraordinary: tucked neatly against the skirting in the House’s entryway, he spotted a pair of tiny red shoes covered in dried mud and oak leaves. He squinted down at them, the muscles around his eyes reflexively scrunching with his brief inspection.

He drew his hands together, clasping them resolutely behind his back and assumed a rearing posture, preparing to raise his chin with insolence: he just didn’t have time for this. 

Entering into the kitchen, he let a wave of exasperation sweep over him - the state of the cooking area was the last thing he wanted to concern himself with today.

But there, before him, was his Lieutenant and a shoeless little girl murmuring softly, engaged in quiet banter. Havers was down on one knee, first aid kit within reach. With steady precision, he gently cleaned the girl’s split skin across her shin bone with one hand and let her squeeze his other.

The scene struck the Captain twice, for the questions it raised and its palpable tenderness. A fuzziness as wonderful as the softest breeze wrapped around his ribcage as he observed. Never could he anticipate, let alone imagine, have he could have been moved by his second-in-command - he felt the strain between them go slack.

The girl was perched on one of the unused kitchen chairs, watching the Lieutenant’s actions intently. She couldn’t have been older than eight if the Captain dared hazard a guess (not that he had any authority on the ages of youth… did they have all their teeth? Did they know how to talk?). She was gowned in a blue gingham dress that complimented her freckled skin and ginger-blonde hair, rebelliously having escaped its plaits. Her long, white socks were pulled down, revealing the extent of her gashes. At her hanging feet, Havers had discarded several pieces of bloodied cloth and wipes in his endeavour to begin her healing. It appeared to be anything but superficial, but the girl’s clenched fists betrayed her stoicism. Such a sight plucked at the strings of the Captain’s heart, reverberating with echoes of sentimentality. Oh, God.

Eventually, he relented to the fact that he hadn’t been noticed. “Havers?” he asked, his voice breaking the spell of their hushed discussion.

Startled, Havers turned his head, his visage a canvas painted with a mix of guilt and mellowness, as though he had been caught in the act of thievery - stealing time from the call of duty, giving it to the girl. “Oh, sir, sorry - I have a bit of a war-wound situation that needs attending to.”

“Ah, I see,” the Captain reassured.

Infrequent interactions with children had left him unsure of how to reach across the chasm of age with the proper course of conversation. Yet, the innocence in the girl's gaze impelled him to transcend his uncertainty, not to scuttle back to his dulling work. His lips curled into a smile, etching lines of fondness around his eyes, and he approached the pair.

“And what might be the name of this young lady?” he gently inquired.

“I should have introduced you: this is Mrs Bell’s daughter, Matilda-”

“Tilly!” she corrected, her interjection imbued with spirited determination. “And I’m six and a half and a bit more, sir.”

“A pleasure to meet you,” was all the Captain could muster, overtly formal in his reply. Any further response remained suspended, momentarily caught in the deep embarrassment of not conjuring anything else. She smiled back at him all the same.

“By Jove, you must have nearly finished primary school by now,” Havers quipped, his tone soft and dulcet, laced in charm, all the while skillfully tending to a profound wound.

“No, sir, I'm not that old.” Tilly’s melodious giggles filled the air. Her hands hurried to cover her mouth, finally letting Havers free to bandage her up with full dexterity and concentration. “I’ve only been at school for two years. But I am really good at reading and writing. My teacher, Miss Durrant, tells me I have the neatest handwriting in all the school.”

As an observer, the Captain wrestled with a sense of inadequacy, in his own territory, too. He yearned to contribute - to coax a laugh from Tilly's stomach, to ease Havers' task with a jest - but his mind remained a barren landscape, void of inspiration yet littered with mines and gunfire. So he busied himself with discarding the stained and spent medical supplies into the bin.

Only the gentleness of Havers’ eyes punctured through the noise. And his gaze wasn’t even directed at him.

Havers acknowledged Tilly's testament with an enthusiastic nod, before continuing in such a genuine and calming fashion that the Captain was stunned at his sensitivity. “Gosh, how remarkable - you should take great pride in your accomplishments. You know, I struggle at times to decipher certain Officers' handwriting. But perhaps that's more my fault than theirs.”

“I bet I could read it! I can read almost anything.”

“I’d let you, were they not classified documents… unless, of course, you’re secretly an Officer? And you’ve been undercover this whole time?” the Lieutenant playfully quizzed, tilting his head. She nodded ‘no’, cheeks rosy from blushing. “Now,” Havers continued, distracting her from his wipes of antiseptic, “for someone as eloquent and intelligent as yourself, I imagine the rest of your schooling will be a breeze. What do you want to do when you leave education?”

“Well, I wanted to be an actress but Mummy says I can’t so I’ll just work at the factory like her,” Tilly said. A hint of disappointment tinged her reply as innocence wrestled with the stark realities that framed her life. All the brazen honesty and innocence a child should possess was already being eroded.

“I think the girl who can read almost anything can do anything, Tilly,” the Captain found himself saying, a surge of warmth emanating from his heart to his words. “Your life should not be bound by anyone else's expectations. With your killer smile and delight, the world is your stage. That, I promise you.” 

As he spoke, the Captain noticed a subtle shift in Havers’ demeanour, a flicker of intrigue followed by a raised eyebrow. Yet, Havers continued his ministrations, his focus unwavering. 

The Captain and the girl exchanged a smile, content to let the moment linger, to weave his rhetoric into the fabric of Tilly's memory and impressionable heart.

“Oh, I- Thank you, sir.”

As he reached to put the first aid box away, his knuckles brushed Havers, who was reaching down to store away a pair of scissors. He quickly stood up and put distance between them, terrified that such contact would be reported to her family, even if Tilly was oblivious. “My, uh, my mother was an actress,” he added to fill the ensuing lull, an equal distraction for Tilly and himself.

“Oh, woah, what was she in?! Was she in the opera? Or-Or did she act in the pictures?” the young girl exclaimed, her green eyes - fixed on him - were wide with contagious enthusiasm, her candour a mirror of her age.

Havers also asked that question, only his was unspoken and shrouded in a veil of something indecipherable to the Captain.

It didn’t occur to him that he’d have further inquiries, nor the flood of pain and images it would unleash. Memories, long dormant, surfaced in a haze. His mother was long fated to be contained to tattered photographs and stories told by strangers. Caught in this inner reverie, the Captain bit his cheek, the taste of nostalgia mingling with his thoughts. His hands, now free of tasks, found solace at his side as he stood to attention; he looked at Tilly, though his thoughts were darting elsewhere. It was only after Havers shot him another glance of concern that he realised he should respond. “Oh, uh, well… she was on the West End in several productions; she worked under Ibsen for Hedda Gabler and Ghosts ; I was told she socialised with Oscar Wilde and George Bernard Shaw; she-she even performed in New York for a short period. If she could forge such a path half a century ago, one can only imagine what you can achieve.”

“Can she make me famous?”

He hesitated, a moment of introspection that hung heavy in the air. He hadn’t the heart to tell her that his mother had long since passed, but he also hadn’t the aforethought to lie. “Come now, you can do that all by yourself, Miss Tilly.”

At that point, the final bandage had been securely set in place, and Havers rose, his gaze hovering on his handiwork. “There you go,” he proclaimed, a note of quiet satisfaction permeating his words. 

Having inspected the Lieutenant’s meticulous efforts, the Captain made a commendatory sound and bounced on the balls of his feet approvingly. “And how’s our bravest Officer feeling?” he said to Tilly, infused with newfound confidence. Conversing with her felt more natural than anticipated, less daunting than he’d initially assumed. His heart no longer felt like it was going to explode for the wrong reasons. He’d just had to - uncomfortably at first - relinquish the mantle of ‘the Captain’.

She pulled her socks over her wound dressings. “I’m ready to get back to the frontlines, sir!”

“Jolly good. Hasn’t our Lieutenant Havers done an outstanding job?”

“He has indeed, sir… Captain, sir.” Tilly responded with a touch of formality, her voice a blend of admiration and respect. She looked up at Havers, beaming at him. “Thank you, Lieutenant.”

“You’re welcome. You displayed incredible courage, Tilly,” Havers accredited, unrolling the cuffs of his sleeves. “I commend your bravery.”

“You’re braver.”

“Uh,” he breathed, “well, I wouldn't-“

Her reply, brimming with childlike virtue, cut through the air. “And the loveliest man in the whole wide world.”

A flush of humility tinted Havers' cheeks, his attempt at modesty stumbling in the face of her unguarded sincerity. His gaze averted as if unable to bear the weight of her praise. He stumbled to find his footing. “I-I’m not sure-”

The Captain's intervention was swift, his own brand of reassurance layered with a dash of jest. “I should fancy you are spot on with that assessment, soldier. I quite agree.” 

He then found himself peering at his second-in-command, filled with pride himself; his heart was messily aflutter, stuck in conflict, as he reigned in his fleeting moments of turbulent infatuation. Havers’ reticent smile and compassion with the young girl, his intellect and service, how had he the heart to deceive him? The Captain's face fell, realising he once looked at Havers with much the same innocence as Tilly.

“He is! I got lost and he saved me from the dirt and sharp stones and stinging nettles like I was one of your soldiers. And he made my leg feel better.” Tilly's enthusiasm bubbled forth, her recounting of the events a vivid testament to Havers' gallantry.

“Oh, but you are one of our soldiers,” Havers countered, deflecting from the compliment. “You so fiercely traversed the wilderness and sought refuge with your allies when you needed help. And now - although I’m not exactly qualified - you have just been nursed back to health in this battlefield triage. That certainly makes you a real soldier.”

“I am?!” Her small hands tucked her hair behind her ears and she swung her feet. Her leg, still tender, responded to her exuberance with a cautionary protest - she winced at the sudden movement and settled for kicking the uninjured one in her excitement.

A spark of inspiration suddenly crossed the Captain’s mind, illuminating his eyes. He turned around to confirm it. In the corner of the kitchen, a coat stand stood adorned with the winter apparel of others - Last's coat, Miller’s scarf, and an old standard-issue cap that had remained untouched for months. The Captain deduced it was likely Bosanko's, left abandoned in his snappy departure. “Here, Matil- Tilly, try this on,” the Captain suggested, his voice infused with childlike anticipation as he retrieved the cap from its resting place. He swiped it and handed it over to her.

Tilly stood up, unintentionally scraping the chair back with a brief screech. As the hat was extended out to her, she glanced between the two men; though her eyes twinkled with eagerness, her eyebrows folded together. It was as if she was preparing to accept the weight of the responsibility that came with the uniform. Resolutely, determinedly, she took it and placed it like a crown. The cap, much too large for her head, remained perched with a playful tilt.

“There,” Clarke’s simper was barely masked beneath his moustache as he reflected her infectious joy. “Suits you splendidly; now you’re fully qualified and ready for whatever comes your way.”

“At your service!” A salute, both a gesture of gratitude and a pledge of allegiance, punctuated their interaction.

The Captain returned Tilly’s salute, a buoyant sensation coursing through him. He was sure he hadn’t felt this light in months, the moment lifting a weight he hadn't fully acknowledged existed. The world around them seemed to blur, fading to insignificance as he basked in the fulfilling simplicity of brightening a child’s day during a War.

Yet, out of the corner of his eye, he caught the subtle signs that aired Havers' unease. Ever the composed and capable man, he bore an unfamiliar veneer of trepidation. A deep inhale, tense shoulders - the Captain supposed Havers was enduring his own hurricane of emotions.

“We should be taking our leave,” the Lieutenant promptly suggested, directing his passive instruction towards the young girl.

However, the Captain chimed in, carrying a sense of authority again. “No need; I’ll call her mother to pick her up.”

“That will take too long, sir. I’ll walk her back. Make sure she doesn’t get into any trouble.”

“R-Right, very well; as you were, Lieutenant.”

Havers' gaze shifted to Tilly, his eyes meeting hers with gentle instruction. “Why don’t you put your shoes on?”

“Yes, sir!” she replied. She grabbed the cap’s visor and gathered the fabric of her dress, then scurried to the entryway where her shoes awaited.

As Tilly, absorbed in her task, prepared herself for the walk home, the Captain and Havers moved further into the kitchen, their actions a conscious retreat from the young girl's view. The Captain wasn’t sure why they were gravitating back there, moving in unspoken accord, but he let it happen.

In this sanctuary of muted privacy, their proximity stirred images of a time when the distance between them was calculated and terrifying. The Captain's heartbeat quickened, and for a fleeting moment, he was transported back to those clandestine days where their glances held a world of longing, where they couldn’t even meet each other’s eye without blushing, when he could only dream of what it would be like to kiss Havers. 

His chest leapt and suddenly it was like nothing was ever wrong. It was just him and Havers against the world once more.

If there were another force of nature left undiscovered, the Captain could feel it in his heart as it pulled him closer to the Lieutenant. The frustration he had harboured for so long washed off his soul as their knuckles brushed once more, igniting a connection that transcended speech, though not quite replacing it.

“You’re having quite the adventure today, Lieutenant. Although dealing with lost and injured children isn’t typically within the scope of our duties, I’m hesitant to pull you up for it,” the Captain spoke softly, offering warmth under his subtle teasing.

“Sir,” Havers warned in a whisper, doing nothing to pull away. A further response seemed poised on his lips, but the words never came, leaving them suspended in a painfully awkward moment.

“I had no idea you were so good with children. You treated her as if she was your own.” The Captain shifted their discourse to a more palatable subject than War or the threads between them, steering a diverting course around difficult conversation for as long as he could.

Alone and emboldened, he reached out, and held Havers’ hand by their sides: a touch, gentle yet laden with significance, meant to bridge every distance between them. Havers briefly met their intertwined hands like it was burning him, then squeezed the Captain's hand as though it was a soothing remedy.

“She will surely remember your kindness for the rest of her life. You’re exceptional with her,” the Captain continued, his words infused with affection, his grasp on Havers' hand tightening slightly.

“It’s my duty to be so. She is everything we are fighting for, everything we need to protect, everything I should be-” Havers stopped himself. His breath hitched which he bit down with a solemn smile. “I am only doing what is right.”

“Yet I do not hear of Lieutenant’s walking injured little girls home to make sure they are safe and do not get into any trouble with their mothers.”

“Well, I couldn't send her off into the village by herself. Look where she ended up last time. ”

“There are worse fates than ending up being cared for by you.”

The atmosphere between them grew warmer, filled with coy smiles and bashful glances, a glimpse of the raw infatuation they once wholly felt. An incandescent hope jumped inside the Captain, a possibility that perhaps they weren't as strained as he had feared, they weren’t as doomed as he’d embraced.

Their eyes locked, two souls laid bare, until the Captain felt compelled to break the loaded silence. “You haven't quite been yourself as of late.”

Havers huffed an aggrieved laugh through his nose. “I could say the same for you. It’s been rather a dreadful few weeks for us, though, hasn’t it?”

“I suppose so. But it wouldn’t be so terrible if we talked.”

“We tried,” Havers said, appearing a fusion of heartache and longing only documented by romantics.

Not hard enough, the Captain bitterly thought. He held this truth close, unwilling to risk regression in the delicate balance he had struggled to achieve. He still sought a way to reconcile Havers’ life with his own, with the War, with them. But Havers had made it his mission to not talk any further about himself - when everything was so intertwined, the Captain wondered if Havers ever intended on fixing the tension between them. No, he’d sooner run away, like he is now.

The goodwill that had once filled him now receded, replaced by the familiar undercurrent of paranoia. “I'm ready for you to try again.” His comment tumbled out with an unintended edge of anger. 

Then he saw a glint of tears forming in the wells of Havers’ brown eyes, and the thread of trust frayed to its thinnest strand.

“Good God. You’re impossible,” Havers breathed, almost pleading.

“What?”

“You know- Why are you-?”

“I’m ready!” Tilly called from the other side of the wall.

Tilly's shout shattered the moment, her voice a reminder of their reality beyond this brief interlude. Havers moved away with a hurried pace without another glance, his attention purposefully drawn to the young girl. 

Empty-handed, the Captain trailed behind, his own sense of yearning now mingling with the cold air that now seemed to envelop the ground floor. The space between them exploded with its expansion, threatening to swallow what was left of their fragile entanglement.

“We’ll get you home and clean those fantastic shoes up. They’ll be back to a bright red in no time,” Havers declared to Tilly with a gentle celebration. He offered his hand and she reached up, locking their palms together. Havers held all the weight of her arm with one hand and opened Button Houses’ front door with the other. “Onwards, soldier. I don’t suppose you know any marches or songs?”

As the Lieutenant guided Tilly outside, the Captain remained, watching from the window, an observer of this scene that both resonated with familiarity and echoed with the chilling void.

The Captain knew things had turned sour. Play fighting was merely fighting. From the fringes of War, they absorbed every harrowing development while they were working themselves sick. And amidst it all, a sinking feeling, a premonition, gnawed at the Captain's gut: an intuition that the worst news was yet to come.

When it did come, it would devastate him. And it will be Havers’ fault, he vehemently tried to convince himself once again.

[theclownbehindtheslaughter]

OMG HI!!

I JUST FINISHED READING ((well, I downloaded Back To Square One in an EPUB format, transferring it to my Speechify app to read it to me, but, potato potato)) BACK TO SQUARE ONE!!

GAHHH!! I LOVE IT!! I ALSO HEADCANONED THAT VOX’S NECK HURTS LIKE FUCK WHEN HE FIRST CAME DOWN!! I’M SO HAPPY TO FIND ANOTHER PERSON WHO DOES TOO ((at least, I think you do???))!!

I want to make a comic of it, BUT I DONT KNOW TO DRAW MOST OF THE CHARACTER DECENTLY!! 😭😭

Also, my motivation will probably run out. But, I’ll try!

((Also, I luv luv LUV your writing 💛💛💛💛!!!))

This quote was one that stood out to me. Idk why. It just did.

SHRIEKING. THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR SENDING THIS ASK!! I adore interacting with people who also the brainrot(tm) for the silly TV man getting put in a tupperware and shook around,

IM SO HAPPY YOU ENJOYED IT!! reading this actually kickstarted me into working on the series more (I've been busy preparing 4 classes to start among with other things and use my free time to play Minecraft more than i should) and will post a new chapter/maybe a path B addition soon!! BUT OH MY GOD!!! I WOULD LOVE FOR THAT!!! if you have any questions PLEASE ask me, i love gushing about my AU and will give you any information necessary (and more, i cannot stop yapping for the life of me) but please don't push yourself!! even if you just make rough draft of one page and call it done there, I will still explode with happiness. and that quote!! oh my god that quote, it was actually inspired by a book i read religiously when i was younger. i can't remember what it was, but i believe it was apart of the poison/rotten apple series? (i can't be too sure tho), and i can't remember much else, but it definitely got me started on my interest in unhealthy/possessive behavior, because i think it was some reincarnation plotline with the MC looking exactly like the dead friend of an immortal being, and they said something like what i wrote and it just WOULD NOT leave my head!!! but thank you SOSOSO much for reading my fic + taking the time to send an ask!! this really did make my day <333 (the yapping of an origin of that quote comes free of charge, of course)

[qkayoostudio]

devlog 17

Hi dear friends,

I'm working hard on a trailer! One element of which is a cute animated logo😊

makes it feel official, right? ♡

I also made overview of the point system in excel so i can keep track easily, rewrote a scene, and made minor changes to sprites in code (which took up a very not minor amount of time).

I also made the executive decision TM to include NSFW/intimate scenes in future chapters. This doesn't mean anything big or new for Chapter 1, but we'll get there eventually so I wanted to mention it now!

Of course these scenes can always be skipped without penalty or missing out on important story bits.

Chapter 1 is approaching soon !

be safe and well,

QK

[triviadimplesblog]

🇹​​🇭​​🇪​ ​🇨​​🇷​​🇮​​🇲​​🇸​​🇴​​🇳​ ​🇭​​🇴​​🇷​​🇮​​🇿​​🇴​​🇳​

Chibs Telford x OC Brianne O'Connor

Warnings: none

The Crimson Horizon masterlist

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Chapter Four

Brianne found herself sitting behind Chibs on his bike once again, an hour after the conversation in the Chapel. Clay had instructed him to take Brianne home to get changed and then right back to the TM again. He wants to take her for some Club business with them and wants her to see how things work around the Club. So Chibs agreed to take her home, then back to the TM, introduce their current prospect to her and then the Club should be off to do some business.

Unlike the last time she was riding with Chibs, she wasn't passing out this time. Instead, she had her hands firmly wrapped around his middle and was leaning against his back. She wouldn't lie, her heart began beating wildly in her chest because she was so close to him. As they rode on his bike, the engine roared beneath them, filling the air with a powerful hum. She could feel the vibrations from the bike, coursing through her body. She was very much aware of the man in front of her as she hugged his waist and gripped his leather kutte lightly. Brianne felt an odd sense of excitement on her second ride with Chibs.

She couldn't help but feel a slight tension in Chibs' body as her arms encircled him though. Brianne wondered if he was simply uncomfortable with her or if her being this close to him had the same effect on him the way his proximity had on her. The thought of her closeness affecting him sent a thrill through her. She did feel a sense of nervousness about being so close to him, to feel the heat radiating from his body – it ignited a fire within her and she couldn't deny it.

Her mind ran a playback of the night before when Chibs had wrapped his arm around her waist so she didn't fall. His touch was gentle but firm against her. He had also been gentle while helping Bobby stitch her up, and she also couldn't ignore the short glances he sent her way while doing so. Not to mention the sweatpants he had left for her, she appreciated not having to have to wear bloody jeans that morning. It was a small gesture, but it meant the world to her.

As they approached Brianne's house, she felt a sense of relief knowing that she can finally detach herself from the Scotsman. The ride wasn't that bad but it stirred up a mix of emotions within her and she didn't know how to process all of them. She was exhilarated and at the same time, she was worriedly aware of the attraction she felt towards Chibs. Brianne knew that it was too soon to be worried about it, she had known the man for less than 24 hours. But some things she couldn't deny.

Chibs brought his bike to a stop on her driveway. Brianne had to take a short moment to compose herself before gently climbing off the bike, careful not to put too much pressure on her injured leg. She cringed slightly when pain throbbed in her thigh, a reminder of the event that took place the previous night. With a sigh, she leaned against his bike for support, her eyes met with Chibs' concerned ones. „Take it easy, darlin'.“ His voice was laced with genuine concern for her and it made her heart flutter. When was the last time someone showed genuine care for her well-being? She couldn't answer that question. „Give it time to heal.“

She offered Chibs a grateful smile and with her head motioned towards the house. She began limping towards her front door when he offered to help her. She leaned against him and they slowly hobbled towards the house. Once she unlocked the door, they stepped inside and a scent of a new house enveloped her senses. She had moved in not too long ago and still hadn't made this place a proper home. „Make yerself at home Chibs.“ She said, moving a box of her stuff to the side. „I won't take long.“

Chibs nodded, taking in his surroundings. The house reminded him of Jax's place, it wasn't bigger than his and it had that homey sense to it too. He noticed a box or two lingering in the home, she either already unpacked most of her stuff, or she didn't have much stuff she brought with her. He watched the ginger-haired woman disappear into a bedroom, closing the door behind her. Chibs felt bad for her, it was obvious she was in pain, the painkillers not doing much to help apparently. He sat down on the couch, deciding not to linger in the doorway and snoop around.

Meanwhile, Brianne stood before the mirror in her bedroom, looking at herself in the reflection. Chibs' oversized (for her) sweatpants were discarded on the bed behind her. She brushed her fingers over the bandage that was wrapped around her thigh, protecting the fresh wound. This wasn't the first time she spilled her blood like this and she had a feeling it won't be the last time either. But Brianne didn't fear the dangers that loomed in her future, she had been taught to face them straight on. Her mind wandered to Chibs once again when she caught a glimpse of the sweatpants in the mirror. There was some undeniable attraction drawing her to him, she couldn't put together the pieces of this puzzle yet though.

Pushing her thoughts aside, Brianne focused on the task she came home to do. She had to wear something comfortable, which would allow enough movement and be more at ease. So she found baggy jeans, which weren't too big on her, and a soft new, olive green T-shirt. Taking careful steps she made her way to the bathroom, stepping in front of the sink. The cool water splashed against her face and it offered her a sense of relief, washing away some of her worry and fatigue. After drying her face, Brianne mustered the strength to walk back to Chibs.

The Scotsman sat on the sofa when his eyes met hers, concern etched across his features as he took in her new attire. „Better?“ Chibs' voice was gentle.

Brianne nodded, and a small smile graced her lips. „As good as can be expected. Ready to go?“ She gestured towards the front door.

„Aye.“ Chibs affirmed, rising from the sofa. Brianne felt so little under his fixed gaze and there was a blush threatening to creep onto her face. She tried to ignore his lingering eyes upon her and turned on her heels. As they approached the front door, Brianne tried not to show her struggle, but Chibs knew she was hesitant due to the lingering pain. So he walked beside her and with the silent gesture offered a steadying presence. He reached out, placing a gentle hand on the small of her back. The warmth of his touch made her tense up but it gave her a sense of comfort and support she needed to make the trip to his bike.

Chibs made himself comfortable on his bike first, then Brianne swung her leg over the seat, mindful of her injury, and settled in behind him. For the third time since she met him, Brianne wrapped her arms around his waist. She felt his muscles tense, but not as much as the last time and he relaxed quite quickly too. The proximity once again ignited a flicker of excitement in Brianne. As the engine roared to life, Brianne steadied herself against Chibs, holding on just a little tighter as Chibs led the bike onto the road.

The wind whipped against her face as they rode through the same street as moments earlier. Brianne felt a rush of excitement when her hair swirled and danced in the gusts of wind. The world around them became a vibrant blur of colors while they rushed by various buildings and cars of Charming. All of those existed as short glimpses in Brianne's mind. The ride was a thrill for Brianne. She felt a fusion of freedom and speed, even though Chibs followed the traffic regulations. She glanced at Chibs the best she could from her position, she admired his driving skills as he took them to their destination. She managed to catch a glimpse of his focused expression when he turned his head to check for upcoming vehicles. He excluded strong confidence. Whether he was like this always or just showing off in front of a lady, she didn't know.

As they reached the TM, Brianne relaxed her hold on Chibs when he slowed down to park his bike. Before they even got off the bike, a blond guy wearing the same leather kutte as the rest of them, only he didn't have any patches on the front of the kutte, approached. She noticed him carrying another kutte in his right hand. Chibs smirked and gave the blond a firm pat on the back. „Ay, this here, Bri, is our Prospect, Half-Sack.“ The boy smiled awkwardly after he stumbled slightly from the impact of Chibs patting him.

„Half-Sack?“ Brianne raised an eyebrow and looked between Chibs and the blond. Her voice held amusement and intrigue.

Chibs chuckled wholeheartedly. „Aye, that's right. Got himself into a bit of a predicament once, lost a certain part of his anatomy in the process,“ The Scot explained, a mischievous glint in his eyes.

Brianne noticed Half-Sack blushing slightly and shifting uncomfortably. „Yeah, it's a long story,“ he mumbled, rubbing the back of his neck sheepishly.

The Ginger haired lady found herself grinning at the playful banter between the two men. She found the bond the people around here had unique and longed to have something like it in her life. „Well, Half-Sack, it's nice to meet ye.“ She extended her hand for a handshake. „I'm Brianne and I would love to hear that long story once.“

Hald-Sack's eyes widened in surprise, but he quickly recovered when Chibs gave him a small nod and reached out to shake her hand. „Nice to meet you too, Brianne,“ she couldn't help but notice his voice was laced with genuine warmth. There was a lot of that going around here for a bunch of outlaws. „I'd love to tell it to you.“ Brianne smiled in his direction and dismounted from the bike. She took a moment to observe her surroundings. The scent of oil and gasoline invaded her senses, along with the sounds of revving engines and tools clanking together. The place buzzed with energy.

„Hey man, Clay said a new Prospect was joining," She heard Half-Sack whisper to Chibs and show him the leather kutte he carried in his hand. „Told me to talk to you when you get back.“

„Aye," Chibs replied and stood behind Half-Sack, putting his hands on the blond's shoulders and spinning him to look at Brianne. „Yer looking at her, lad.“ Half-Sack's eyebrows shot up in astonishment. He seemed bewildered as he looked Brianne up and down. She understood why he was so shocked, Chibs had told her that women weren't exactly supposed to be a part of the MC other than being Old Ladies or Croweaters. She, herself, wasn't sure why they were recruiting her, but she had agreed to give it a try and prospect for as long as she needed and if everything seemed well to both her and them, they'd patch her up.

„But I thought-„

Half-Sack was cut off by Chibs. „We're still putting up a vote for this, numb-nuts. Don't take it to heart just yet.“ With those being his final words, Chibs took the leather kutte from the blond's hand and held it up for Brianne to see. „Yer gonna wear this for today. It'll be official when and if we vote ye in.“ The kutte was the same as Half-Sack's, only now she noticed that on its back it had a patch that said Prospect.

He held it out for Brianne and she slipped her hands through the holes of the leather vest. There was a certain weight she felt as the kutte settled upon her shoulders. It feels so similar but so different from her old life. She only hoped it won't end up the same, she was truthfully tired of running. In that moment the Clubhouse doors opened and the rest of the Sons emerged from inside. They approached the trio, Clay smirking widely.

„The leather's looking good on you, sweetheart.“ His words brought a sense of validation to her. Acceptance from the club's President meant a lot, but she understood that putting this kutte on was a preliminary step. She'll wait for the vote to settle before she lets herself get excited. Although, as soon as the kutte settled upon her shoulders, she already felt excitement.

„Been here for less than 24 hours and breaking the mold already," Jax approached, a smile adorning his handsome face. „I think you'll fit in just right.“ Brianne couldn't help but smile at his words. For some reason, his confidence put her mind to ease to know some of the Sons saw the potential in her.

„Well, well, well, our little ginger is a prospect. Should be interesting.“ Tig remarked. The tone of his voice was mixed with curiosity and skepticism, but he didn't seem to be so unfriendly towards her as earlier. Brianne met his gaze, challenging him with just her eyes.

„Aye, it's gonna be interestin'.“ She replied with a steady voice. She was a stubborn person and she set her mind on giving this opportunity a shot so she will try her best because she had been thought to do it ever since she was a child fighting for her spot. Brianne didn't want to remind herself of what had been, instead, she wanted to focus on what is and what will be. She'll need some time to answer the question as to why this was so important to her because she found herself longing to be a part of the team. Ever since she was a child she had been taught that she belongs somewhere greater than herself, she always had a group and now that she was alone, she didn't know how to function. She needed people, not because she wanted, but because she was used to it.

„We'll vote on this soon enough.“ Clay declared, his voice carrying the weight of authority. „Let's focus on the task at hand now. We've got a meeting with Laroy. Prospect or not, you ride with us, Brianne. It's time to see what this Club is about.“

Brianne nodded, determined to prove herself. She had seen enough violence and bloodshed so if anything like that happens today, she knew it won't be an issue for her. Whether or not they liked it, she had the upper hand with all the stuff she had been through and nothing could surprise her anymore at this point. As the Sons brought their bikes to life, Chibs gestured for her to ride with him again, giving her the helmet she had been wearing earlier. She straddled the bike behind Chibs once again that day and it made a surge of adrenaline course through her veins.

[ladybugjournal]

New Chapter: The Planning

31 July 2024

Growing up, I never liked changed. I hated when things were moved around in my play room, I hated when I changed schools, I hated things I couldn't control. I still hate when I'm not in control, but I'm working on it. Now, I'm actually excited for the changes that are coming in my life.

Soon I will be moving, and then I will be moving again, and I have a lot of feelings about this. The main reason I'm moving, the real big change is that I'm going to Grad School! I've decided to get my masters in creative writing, and I'm excited for that.

The first move will be when my lease is up at my apartment in the hills (not The Hills TM). That move will come around November. I'm excited and scared, but ultimately, I know this is the best move for me.

My current living situation is not sustainable, it hasn't been for a while. Honestly, it hasn't been great for the past couple years, but I was blinded by love and trusted people who were lying to me and playing games with my head. It's corn dipped in cheese but that quote "betrayal doesn't come from your enemies" is so fucking true and I hate it.

I don't want to get into the whole thing right now, that is a story for another time, but I will say, in relation to this move, it's important. I know this will be better for me, it will allow me the freedom to take the next steps and not have extra stress because I'm walking on egg shells and not feeling safe in my own home, and also it will allow me to save money.

I'm planning on moving back in with my parents for a while (the couple months from the time my lease is up until I get into a program and move to that school). I'm going to try and transfer so I can keep working at the job I've had for the last five and half years. I wouldn't be paying rent (my parents are generous and want me to be able to save money, but I'm planning on helping out with groceries and whatever they'll let me pay for). But it will be good. I'm excited.

I'm applying to a bunch of schools (I have a list that I'm narrowing down right now). I'm leaning more towards the east coast, lower populations, small towns, forests and shit. I think I want to be around nature. I've lived in an over populated city/county for the last six years and I'm ready for the underpopulated. I want space to breathe, space to write, space to just be me. I need to slow down. I need the quite.

Also, if I'm under-stimulated my creativity will thrive because I will need to keep myself entertained. Plus, I'm aiming for a 4.0 (or at least graduating with a higher GPA than the 3.66 I graduated with in undergrad). Honestly, anything 3.8 and higher I will be happy with. So, less distractions would be nice.

I think I also just need to be by myself. I haven't been by myself for a very long time and I think we need to get to know each other again, become friends again. I've already started working on getting to know myself again. I've been journaling (by hand and here), and I've been having adventures on my own again. I think the best part about this is that even when I'm alone I don't feel lonely anymore. So, I'm calling that a win.

Okay, enough with the sappy shit, here is the plan:

September trip

Apply for grad school (applications are not open yet 😖)

Pack stuff I won't need for like 2 months (and take it to my parent's house already)

Tell my roommates I'm moving out at the end of our lease (and hope they don't explode on me)

October trip

Transfer request

MOVE

Start next steps for Grad School :)

This seems... doable.

I feel a little out of control, mainly because I'm just doing a lot of waiting. Waiting for the applications to open, waiting to hear back, waiting for my lease to be up, waiting to hear about my transfer. And yes, there are things I'm doing while I'm waiting. I'm preparing my portfolio and getting editing my submissions, I'm packing and planning, I'm going on trips and spending time with friends, but I'm still just waiting. I can't move past the next step because it's not time yet.

This is really turning out to be a training in patience. I'm not an impatient person, at least not an obnoxious impatient person. I'm fine to wait in line, I'm fine to sit in a car and drive for a long time to the fun destination, I'm fine to wait for a trip or something, but I like to be moving forward. I hate being stagnant , especially when I've decided on something.

Alas, I must wait, might as well plan and maybe try to distract myself from spiraling with creativity.

Wish me luck, Ladybug

[thessalian]

Thess vs All Those Damn Games

Like I said, I am very much intending on weeding through the unplayed games in my Steam library the next little while. ...Okay, at least partly because there are more games I intend on buying Real Soon Now (TM) and I'd rather know which of the ones in my ever-expanding library are ones I can't play, don't like, or will explore further, maybe, if I feel like it. Which is why I've added a new Steam collection to my library - it is titled "Meh". It's for games I don't hate but which aren't a priority, either because slightly dicky controls (but not enough to stick them in the "Nope" collection), frustrating in some other way, or just not really my thing. I've actually got through a fair few now. Shame a fair few ended up in the "Meh" collection, though some got into one I just titled "A Further Look", which is for games that I like but don't need to keep playing right now. (Yes, I am getting obsessively organised. I just don't like going through my list not remembering if I played that or what I thought of it when I did. So there you go.)

The Witch of Fern Island: I liked it until I got to the town hub. It's a bit large for my tastes. In a farming / life sim, I don't want to spend half my time wandering around town searching for people. It's way easier in places like Stardew Valley or Wylde Flowers. I think these guys got too ambitious. Into the "Meh" pile with you.

Syberia: ...Won't work if you have dual screens and/or aren't at really low resolutions. You are hereby banished to NOPE.

Nanotale: How come a fucking typing game ends up in my Favourites? Don't I do enough of that at work?!?

West of Loathing: Okay, this one's just fun. That one's a thanks to my friend Brian for a) introducing me to this and b) I think throwing them at my head the other Christmas.

Deponia: ...When I get frustrated at the puzzles and really dislike the main character? Meh.

Dordogne: This one's cute. The mechanics are a little fiddly, though. It's in the "A Further Look" collection now.

Raji - An Ancient Epic: This one's great, but a little fiddly for everyday. So into the "A Further Look" collection it goes.

Citizen Sleeper: Looks interesting but I can't deal with Crapsack Future right now - the present's bad enough. Into "A Further Look" with you.

Sort of out of order, but whatever. Also I have a couple of more to add to the list, because I got into a conversation with somebody on Reddit where I recommended them Spiritfarer and they recommended me some interactive story where the first chapter's free so I should have a look at that.

Meantime, I have to go out and do errands. And Stuff. Lots of Stuff. I'm honestly just glad it's the weekend, and that next week's my last work week before a much-needed week off. I can weed through more of the unplayed games in my library, and probably do more errands but we won't think about that just at the moment. I just want some damn relaxation for once.