azrielgreen

[azrielgreen]

My little boy is an artist. Today, he was looking back at his last year sketches and did a redraw. I was so proud of him and begged him to show people. LOOK AT HOW FAR MY BABY HAS COME!!!😭✨️

[azrielgreen]

LOSING MY FUCKINNNNGGGG MIND🫠✨️🫠✨️🫠✨️

[azrielgreen]

@inklessletter's latest masterpiece inspired me to try watercolour brushes🩷

[azrielgreen]

artist: @sarah-bbee originally made for the @summerof85zine (posted with permission)

[azrielgreen]

in a polyamorous relationship with the oxford comma and the em dash

[azrielgreen]

I’m just now getting around to reading Behind (first of all I love it, little bit is amazing wonderful gorgeous) but when he says he’s ONE OF THREE??? monsters?? Hello where are the other ones…. I just know you were sitting in your chair laughing evilly as you wrote that little tidbit

Ahh thank you so much! You're honestly one of the only people who ever noticed!!! I was very much enjoying that 😂🥰💜✨️

[azrielgreen]

hi! i'm reading Prism from the beginning for the first time in awhile & I just wanted to know if you've ever listened to Vast? In particular 'Pretty When You Cry' & 'Temptation' i just feel like they fit Eddie so well. If not are there any songs that you listen to when you write to get into his headspace so to speak?

VAST is one of my favourite bands and yes, both those songs are SO Prism Eddie coded! Early days I listened to a lot of Ethel Cain too in building his headspace. Fair amount of drum and bass too. Thank you so much! ✨️💜✨️

[azrielgreen]

[azrielgreen]

Polaroid #5

Patreon | Bluesky | Instagram

[azrielgreen]

Would it be overstepping to ask if I could pray for you? Not necessarily in a Christian sense, more of just a manifestation of good things your way. Completely understandable if you'd prefer not!

That sounds lovely, thank you✨️💜✨️

[azrielgreen]

Hey Az! I had a question. How do you create those newspaper articles you use in your stories? Genuine question.

Canva! 💜✨️💜✨️💜✨️

[azrielgreen]

My lovely old cat Bam passed away today. I had sixteen beautiful years with him and fifteen years with his brother, Binx. I know they're cuddling now and always💔✨️

[azrielgreen]

Honestly, I love it when characters relapse. When someone who’s gotten over their anger issues falls into a situation so out of their depth they fall back on their old habits. When someone who’s learned to open up becomes a recluse again in order to cope with something outside their control.

There’s just something so horrible, so toxic, about watching a character grow and then slip back into their old selves in order to cope, bc you know they still care, that they’re the same inside, but watching them hurt so hard they don’t know what else to do brings a sense of catharsis.

[azrielgreen]

Prism Eddie at 10:59 pm:

”I don’t want to think about killing so much anymore”

Also him at 11:00 pm:

“From the toolshed he takes what he needs and a few other things too, just in case. Tarps, rope, saw, shovel, pickaxe, lye, sledgehammer. Wrapped in a tarp, the equipment is heavy, but he carries it on his left shoulder, bag of lye under the other arm, snow blanketing the ground”

wheezing, so so accurate. A LOT CAN HAPPEN IN AN HOUR!

[azrielgreen]

Whore (Angel's Advocate)

Part 2/2 COMPLETE - 40k total - read it HERE

[azrielgreen]

NO WAIT IS IT ACTUALLY DOWN?! I HAD FIC TO POST!!!

Love this village that Tumblr truly is because it's just us sticking our heads out the window and yelling across the street, "hey, is AO3 down!?"

[azrielgreen]

"Let me hate you." "That won't change a thing."

This is what happens when the amazing, unbelievably talented @stervrucht suggest that we collab (like, this morning, literally). Dropped everything to give her something to work her magic on.

At risk of being a bit too much (I warned you), let me tell you, this is the most fun I've had playing around with art in a long, LONG time. Thank you for this amazing experience, art buddy 💞

Lineart + ficlet (below) - @inklessletter

Colouring - @stervrucht

WC: 917 | Steddie, Steve's POV, Mild Hurt/Comfort, internalized homophobia.

THE CAGE

In the cage, they're always skin to skin.

Lip to lip.

In the cage, there's an obscene amount of props to change the scene whenever Steve feels like it, so they can be together in every alternative universe.

(Oh, Steve knows now a lot of alternative universes, because it's hard not to listen to him when he speaks so passionately.)

He speaks up, shares secrets, holds hands and looks straight in the eye of Eddie Munson with no fear, in the cage.

And Eddie reciprocates. He stares back right into Steve's soul and he feels like nothing but flesh and bones made to break with love words. Steve longs to be no more, no less.

In the cage.

The cage is safe, because it's secret. Nobody knows about it, not even Robin. Talking about the cage means it exists. And if it exists, then he has to do something about it. It hasn't always existed, though. There was a time where Steve wore his heart on his sleeve and, well, you know, he never got a good eye to guess how strong or delicate are the things he holds.

His heart was fine once, though. Now it's patched up, now he's more careful with it. Fragile, damaged goods that he's sure that can't afford another blow. Not even a little one.

Not even by accident.

So, the cage is impenetrable. Nobody comes in, nobody comes out except what Steve decides, and this time, the cage fits everything that can't exist with Eddie Munson out of it.

The cage is where all those feelings he can't ever express go to die, and they both bury them together. Steve and Eddie. They make art with it.

The cage is fine, the cage is safe, because everything is contained in there.

Until it's not.

Until that stupid morning he wakes up in a mess of bed sheets that feel ablaze, and he's sweaty, and half hard, and wet, and he wakes up with Eddie's name in his lips.

But hey, nobody is there to listen to it, so does a tree make a sound when there's nobody to hear it fall down?

That is no comfort, though. Not even in the slightest.

Because there's a breach in the cage, now.

He said his name and his heart is balancing on breaking branches and unstable now.

After that day, everything leaks.

He blushes, ridiculously so, when Eddie so much looks at him.

He tries not to flinch at the accidental touch, not to react to the shock wave it sends through his system, and given that Eddie is a very tactile person, it's torture.

He never looks at him in the eye. He might see the breach. The cage.

They are never alone.

Not anymore, really.

Steve avoids it, and it's getting more and more difficult to find excuses, because they see each other all the time.

He's starting to notice that Eddie knows something and Steve is freaking out. Eddie acts a bit hurt with every rejection, and good. Steve would rather Eddie thinks that he doesn't like him than to admit the truth.

But it's a loss.

The cage is the home of uninvited grief now.

Steve wonders, when he's alone, holding his heart with shaky hands, if he has the right to cry.

Hasn't cried in years.

Steve decides that he hasn't any.

Puts his heart away, broken glass, in a shelf to gather dust, though he knows he might forget about it and break it accidentally when he tries to clean his cage.

Has happened before, will happen again, because Steve is cursed.

A fight is the better choice.

Destroy the cage.

He goes to meet Eddie to be his worst self, he's got experience in that. He can be mean, no, cruel. He'll be cruel, he'll make him want not to be in the same room with him and Steve will eventually find peace.

He will be able to rest.

To fall in a dreamless sleep in what's left of what was safe once.

Yeah, he'll do that.

Only it's not that what happens.

Steve is tense, doesn't know if to punch or run. Push him against the wall because how dares Eddie to be understanding. How dares he to be considerate, and how dares he to read and listen what's coming out of the cage.

What give him the right.

How dares he to say "it's okay."

Fuck you, Eddie, it is not okay.

He's wrong.

He's delicate.

How dares he to grab his heart, he's going to crush it with those stupid, careless fingers full of stupid rough silver chunks he wears for jewelry.

Fuck you, Eddie.

He actually says that, though.

"Fuck you."

The fact that he's about to cry, now, of all times he could have done it, he's about to cry now, when his voice is shaky, and his insults don't land.

"I love you."

His heart is in pieces.

He is in pieces. Destroyed. Demolished.

"Let me hate you", is what he begs. Isn't that pathetic?

"That won't change a thing."

Eddie is touching him now and Steve is not flinching. He wants to grab his face, push him away, scream and spit on his face. Why is Eddie not seeing what Steve is trying to do here? He's just trying to survive, because he can't avoid it anymore. He's already broken.

Has been for a while now.

Outside the cage, they're now skin to skin.

Lip to lip.