#also my backgrounds are really lazy as usual and I can’t draw trees!

[catzgam3rz]

Ranboo really is aligned with THREE factions of the SMP I imagine that gets pretty exhausting (more Antarctic Ranboo content because I’m soft)

(Ran’s Enderspeech in the first page are just Zs btw)

[insomniamamma]

Late Bloomers: Ezra x F! Reader w/Cee

A/n: Set in the "Liminal" AU in which Ezra becomes his niece, Cee's legal guardian after a car accident kills his brother, Damon, and costs him his arm. Set sometime between "Ferris  Wheels Are For Old People" and "Surf City Goodness." Reader is Ezra's neighbor. Established relationship (sort of, IDK how to tag what they are). For @autumnleaves1991-blog​ and @clydesducktape​ Writer Wednesday.

Warnings: Not a whole lot. Kissing. Touching. A little spicier than I usually go, which isn't saying whole lot. A little language.  Cee, as usual, needs her own warning. Set during the pandemic shut down. Mentions of covid. Also, I feel like 'The Apple' needs it's own warning. I'll link the trailer at the end.

           "You sure you don't want to come with us, Birdie?" Cee sits at their scarred kitchen table, her laptop, textbooks and a pile of papers around her. She frowns.           "I gotta study," she says, "Ms Stewart is really serious about this quiz. She's not grading on a curve this time." Ezra narrows his eyes.           "You have never spent a Saturday night studying in your life," he says. Cee frowns up at him.           "You've never been in Ms. Stewart's physics class," says Cee, "She's a hard ass. Anyway, I'm still pulling an 'A' in her class, but I don't want to fuck up my average."           "Jesus, Cee," Ezra mutters, and you have to smile. She rolls her eyes.           "I know, I know--"           "Don't say 'fuck' at school," they say in unison.           "They're doing double features all summer," says Cee, "I can miss one. I've seen all these movies anyway." She smirks, "I want to hear what you think of 'The Apple.'" Ezra rummages around for his keys and Cee drops you the most exaggerated wink you've ever seen in your life.           "Have fun, guys," she says.

         Covid has nuked most of the things you used to do for fun, restaurants and shows, hell, even the libraries are closed. The only business in town that's thriving is the Star-City Drive In. There haven't been any big studio releases in a while, so they've been doing Fright Night Fridays and Sci-Fi Saturdays. Tonight's double feature is Flash Gordon and The Apple.          "They've got this weird way of operating the concession stand now," says Ezra, "Cause of the pandemic. You've gotta text them your order and I guess they bring it out to you--" Ezra's gotten pretty good at working his phone one-handed, but you can see the frustration clouding his face.          "Let me," you say, loading the menu onto your phone, "Let's get a big popcorn and share it. You okay with the fake butter?"          "Of course I'm okay with the fake butter, what kind of monster do you take me for?"          "How about candy?" You ask, scrolling through, "It's the usual suspects."          "Sno-caps," he says, "How about you?"          "I'm thinking Milk Duds," you say.          "Now that is an excellent way to lose a filling, Sunshine."          "Popcorn and Milk Duds together? Worth the risk," you say and text your order off to the concession stand. It's not quite dark yet, a reel of movie trivia that no one cares about shines ghost pale on the screen. Ez has got the radio tuned to pick up the sound, but there's not much to listen to yet so it's turned down low, background noise with the cicadas and birdsong. The big screen backs up against a farmer's field run wild and a dark stand of trees.          "Switch places with me," says Ezra, and gets out of the truck. He comes around to your side and opens the door for you.          "Why?"          "Indulge me," says Ezra, so you do as he asks and settle in to the driver's side. Ezra's truck has bench seats with vinyl that creaks and cushions that hiss slightly as you move around. There's a tap at the window and you hook your mask over your ears and crank it down, popcorn and candy and you already payed with your phone, but press some rumpled bills into their gloved hands.          "Why'd you want to switch places?" You ask around a mouthful of popcorn.          "Shhh," says Ezra, "The movie's starting."

         Flash Gordon is just as fun as you remember it being, majestic in its absurdity, a big love letter to all the terrible pulp sci-fi movies that came before, the two of you watch and snark and laugh and sing "Aaa-ahhh" whenever someone says Flash's name. We owe it to Queen, you say, and Ezra smiles big the way he does when something's caught him off guard, the way that crinkles his eyes and reveals his dimples, indeed we do. We owe it to Freddie Mercury.          At some point his arm finds it's way around your shoulders and you lean into him.          "So this is why you wanted to switch spots," you murmur. He raises his prosthetic arm, flickering movie light shining on the double hook at the end.          "Can't exactly get handsy with Mr. Claw, now can I?" He grins, "These hooks might be a little chilly."          "And pokey," you say, demonstrating with a dig to his ribs. The end credits are rolling.          "You ever seen this next movie?"          "The Apple?" He says, "No. Some sort of cult-movie thing. Cee made me promise not to IMDB it. She said I should go in with an open mind."          "Oh boy," you laugh.          "Right? Cee's tastes are all over the place. I suspect this will be either amazing  or terrible on a scale that recalibrates our internal gauge of what terrible is."          "You know she set us up, right?"          "Yeah," says Ezra, "Little Bird fancies herself quite the matchmaker."          "She winked at me." Ezra dimples.          "Did she now?"          "She looked like a cartoon," you laugh, "About as subtle as a ton of bricks." Ezra brays laughter and leans against you, squeezes you closer to him at the same time. He is beautiful when he laughs, all dimples and teeth eyes screwed shut in mirth and you take this opportunity to press a kiss against that tender place on his jaw where his beard refuses to grow. Ezra freezes, you feel his body go rigid against yours, and your first thought is to apologize, to pull back, and then he reaches for you, his broad, calloused palm cradling your face, drawing you to him, presses his lips to yours, a soft, reverent kiss that he does not fully withdraw from, his hand now resting on the nape of your neck, forehead pressed to yours, somehow more intimate than a kiss, this closeness, breathing each others exhalations, leaning against each other.          "Cee's not wrong," you say, "We're good together."          "We are, aren't we?" He gives your nape a gentle squeeze, and lets you go. The opening titles of The Apple flicker on screen and the music starts up.

         "Oh, Ezra, what the fuck did we just watch?"          "I don't know if 'watch' is the right word, Sunshine, we did not 'watch' The Apple. The Apple happened to us."          "I don't think I've ever understood Stockholm syndrome until now."          "I have been assaulted," says Ezra, "My civil rights have been violated."          "It's like..." You trail off, "It's like if someone took '1984', 'A Star Is Born' and 'The Rocky Horror Picture Show' and put them in a blender. I'm pretty sure this movie violates the Geneva conventions." Ezra laughs and so do you, leaning in to each other, giggles that become kisses, soft at first, but increasingly hungry, laced with need, your arms twine around his shoulders, his hand lingers at your side, toying with the hem of your shirt.          "S'okay, Ez," you say as he nips at your jaw and then your neck, gentle graze of teeth that makes you shiver, "You can touch me." He kisses you deep, his tongue fever-hot against yours, hand sliding up the soft slope of your belly, cupping your breast, and you arch into his touch--          Tap Tap Tap. And there's a bright light shining through the passenger's side window.          "Oh shit," says Ezra. You frantically yank your shirt back down, heat creeping up your neck, your cheeks, your earlobes flaming.          "Movie's over guys," says the shadowed figure behind the flashlight's glare, "Take it someplace else." You open the door to switch places back with Ezra, the overhead light shows him red faced and horrified.          "I'm sorry, I just--"          "Get us out of here, Ez."

         You stare out into the dark past the window, half-moon shining over fields and trees like a lazy eye. You snort laughter.          "What's so funny?"          "We got caught," you say, "We got caught necking at the drive-in like a couple of teenagers."          "You're laughing because we got caught?"          "I'm laughing because I've never made out with anyone at a drive-in, even when I was a teenager, and I'm laughing cause we got caught. After watching that trash-fire of a movie. We got caught making out over the end credits of 'The Apple'. I feel like we deserve some kind of award." You rest your hand on Ezra's leg, can just pick his smile in the dim lights from the dash. Ezra chuckles.          "I never made out with anyone at the drive in before tonight either," says Ezra.          "Bullshit," you say, and give him a good-natured poke.          "It's true," he says, "For one, I didn't have access to a car. I would've had to borrow Ma's car, and there was no way that was ever going to happen. Also, I was not what the girls back then referred to as 'dating material'. Skinny as a rake with a mouthful of braces and an obvious birthmark? I was like a puppy trying to grow into it's ears and feet, a late bloomer if you will." You move your hand higher up along his thigh and give him a squeeze.          "Better late than never."          "Indeed."

Flash Gordon Trailer

The Apple Trailer

[ackermanshoe]

March comes in like a lion, it's Portrayal of toxic & healthy relationship and how to compares rivamika + Ereh

Que the longest title everr 😌✨

So before I start on the actual analysis, I recently started watching March comes in like a lion instead of doing my assignments and I half way through season 2. For those of you who haven't watched it, it might be a spoilers so beware of that.

In this analysis I'll be comparing the similarities I found between Rei, Hina and Kyoko.

So watching any anime after being do emotionally attached to rivamika it's only natural that I compare them to the characters with even the tiniest bit similarities in their dynamic but Rei and hina's relationship jump in episode 4 of season 2 really caught me off guard and I was like omg?? Rivamika?? How do I make this about them 😩

Anyway so a little background on Rei's relationship with both girls Kyoko and Hina ( Hinata ). Firstly, i subconsciously placed Rei has Mikasa, kyoko has Eren and Hina as Levi, why? You will know on a minute. Rei is a depressed kid who has known only one way of life and that's through shogi games and after his parents death ( cough cough ) he was taken in by a old friend ( I think ) of his dad's who was also obsessed with shogi. Kyoko is the biological daughter of this man who has "adopted" Rei and later on Rei was came to know Hina and her sisters, they were super supportive of him from the start and having lost family members themselves they related to him on a personal level.

So you see why Eren and mikasa's dynamic matches with Rei and Kyoko and not only as "step siblings" it's also the fact that Rei became somewhat obsessed with her through the time he had spent over at their house, it's toxic and it's been showcased that way ever since kyoko was introduced into the series. Rei thought of her when he heard the word "love" and he even admitted to the fact that having her around is toxic and yet he can't push her away. He said he does not want to stop hearing her voice even tho she , herself is in love with a much older man who is married. Everytime she showed up to his bedroom uninvited and slept next to him my mind went "he is in love with her and their relationship is so toxic why does the author keep bringing her into his life?" Or "girl get the fuck away from him".

Without even thinking too much deep into their physical connection I already knew I would be able to related this dynamic to Eren and Mikasa. Although this series gives us much more depth into the main characters views since it's narrated from his own perspective, and the fact that he metaphorically compared his feelings of being lost and sadness helps me as an audience to understand what's happening much much easier than attack on titan. I personally feel like this kind of series are usually short ( idk how long this is) because it feels like the author knows exactly what he is going for, everything is set in stone.

Going back to Rei's ( mikasa's) relationship with kyoko ( Eren ) it's much much clear how toxic it had become for him in more than just one way. And the show isn't denying Rei of his feelings towards Kyoko and it's not even attempting to distant him from her and yet you just knew there had to be someone better right? That's when they introduced Hina and Kyoko in the same episode, meeting each other and a sense of invisible rivalry gushed over them, especially Hina. She is a happy go lucky girl and extremely sensitive to things to the point it kinda annoys me everytime she bursts out crying ( but hey you can't hate a genuinely good character ).

That's where things get interesting for me maybe because I am on that Levi X Mikasa agenda all the time but just like rivamika their relationship has been portrayed as platonic for the longest time in the seaosns. If I didn't go out of way to search up who Rei falls in love with and it didn't say hina's name I probably wouldn't be making this comparison right now because who wants to have their heart broken for the 2nd time in the same fucking month 🙄.

Anyway so in this one episode Hina comes home crying because of bullying issue at school and as she runs off into the dark streets Rei chases her and eventually catching up to her takes her hand and being able to relate to her problems, comparing his younger self to her present Rei reaches out his hand and God fucking damn it he says "you saved my life..I promise I'll stay with you" ofc I'm making this post now you know the real reason 🤡.

The unseen build up that happen between them reminds me of rivamika, the Portrayal of healthy relationship is rivamika. Hina (in our case Levi ) to Rei is the voice of emotion, she speaks out the feelings that Rei has been surpassing all these years inside of him. Just like how we talked about Levi is the voice of reason, while Mikasa has the impulsive urge to act up. Just like how Levi became the perosn who reasonably always took mikasa's side, he gave her personal reasons to take Erens side everytime have an actual meaning towards the scouts / everyone , he then became someone Mikasa was able to object & voice out her opinion towards because she knew that he would response and guide her the right way and finally he became someone she was able to fully trust.

Much like Hina and Rei, when Hina cried out her heart and Rei couldn't help but go back to his past self and imagine Hina coming to him and giving him a hand, being his saviour. It's much like how Levi saw his past self in Mikasa present ( S1 ), Levi gave Mikasa the hand she needed when she didn't know she needed.

Hina despite being much younger than him, was able to make him realise that he too was shutting out his emotions and was able to let himself be free through Hina when she cried, expressing her frustrations and very human like emotions. In the forest of the giant trees when Mikasa and Levi saved Eren for the first time he told her " we got your precious friend, didn't we?" A slight wake up call he had given her for the very first time, an attack on Mikasa's ego and evoking a different emotions within her. Like telling her it's not only about Eren and getting revenge, risking your life so easily, Levi had lost his entire squad in order to protect Eren so now that he is safe they better leave now.

So the question is did Levi and Mikasa save each other?

What can I say that I haven't said already in here about these two?

"you saved my life" Rei says to Hina as he reached out her hand and the beauty of that scene was the fact that it was delicate and soft despite it not being anything romantic. Remind me of that panel of Mikasa touching Levi's shoulder. How ironic is the fact that I'm comparing Hina, a openly emotional character to Levi who is said to be the most emotional inside?

Levi physically saved Mikasa a lot of the time however emotionally Levi saved Mikasa from being selfish and from herself. What if I said and ignoring 139, that Levi was one of of the biggest reasons Mikasa took the initiative and decapitated Eren that day?

Wait why does it feel like I already said it before lol

Through Levi, Mikasa learnt to trust more, learnt that even though they gave difference not only in height, age and in how they treat Eren ( Levi with force and Mikasa with care ), Mikasa still came in terms with Levi and relied on him, shared her burden with him. I think that's the biggest character twist Mikasa had, the fact that she was ready to draw sword at anyone who treated Eren wrong and everyone was scared of her and then came the grumpy shorty who beat her beloved brother right in front of her but eventually he became the biggest form of support she had in the end. I just can not help but laugh at all the unseen development this ship has had and all the implication of Futher interaction after season 3 between them, it's really obvious they had something going on because imagine you don't talk to someone for like 3 years and suddenly when you engage in battle against , paired up with them suddenly you become the strongest duo known to humanity. +?)!#)# make it make sense.

Sooo now you see the that having toxic relationship with a partner is only natural and inevitable but growing from that, opening your eyes to those who actually care there for you is rather healthy. So moral of the story is guys make sure stick with those who tells you to stay with them, the end.

Omg guys this turned out so much longer than I intended, anyway hopefully y'all liked it. I know it's not the strongest comparison or analysis but I feel like I'm running out of words for what I want to say about rivamika it feels like I'm recycling my sentences from previous analysis over and over again because ✨ lack of content ✨ and my inability to think of something new.

Please ignore all my spelling mistakes I have decided to embrace my mistakes instead of fixing them simply because I'm too lazy 😉

💜💜💜

[that-banana-headed-bovine]

Season 2 Shenanigans

AHEYYY sO I went on a giant Knight Rider binge the last few days, and I've FINALLY seen all of Season 2!!  Big thank you to @trust-doesnt-oxidize who watched with me and stayed up absurdly late because I wanted to see Garthe before I went to bed AIDBWJFNEM

I just wanted to post a quick reaction to all of the episodes, spoiler warning activated!

Goliath Parts 1 & 2

I LOVE MY DOOFY VILLAIN SON. K.I.T.T. is HILARIOUS, I love his dynamic with Goliath, as is evident by my handle oops- I hate how Season 2 starts with my son almost dying tho, almost had a heart attack tyvm! This is back before I knew anything about the direction of the rest of the series so I was legitimately in shock lmbo- Moustache Michael is a gem tho I love him. I SURE HOPE HE STAYS A DUMB VILLAIN WHO'S JUST REALLY SILLY TO WATCH. SURE HOPE THEY DON'T TAKE HIM TOO SERIOUSLY.

Brother's Keeper - Blind Spot

I- forgot that these episodes existed until I looked at the episode list for this, soooo...

I should really not be lazy and look up an episode summary and try to remember what I thought of these but the problem is that I am in fact going to be lazy because this post is already taking so long

Return to Cadiz

This episode is so,,, frustrating.  Not the plot or the format or anything like that, nono... I mean how they essentially introduced April.  Like, okay, I know that she has been here since the beginning of Season 2, but she hadn’t really said much up until now.  This was where we really got to know who she would be, and, uh... After this episode, I absolutely hated her.  Despised even.  She forces my son to go drive on the same ocean on the same beach where Karr DIED without any testing beforehand AND is chastising Michael in a flirtatious way.  The heCK is this woman?!  WHERE’S MY BONNIE???!!!  I was so mad at her you guys I.  But the thing is, I don’t hate April, not by a long shot.  In some ways, the rest of Season 2 does a better job giving her a character than all of Season 1 did for Bonnie!  I really enjoyed April and wish that both could have stayed.  BUT THIS EPISODE makes her SO HATEABLE and I just ugh.

also I tried to watch this a long time before I got to and after seeing the intro and not knowing the title of K.I.T.T. vs. K.A.R.R. at that point in time, I thought Karr was gonna come back based on all the panoramic shots of the underwater and I am so sad that he didn’t so oops this episode gets my wrath a bit

K.I.T.T. the Cat

0/10 there are no cats.  False advertising.

Seriously tho this episode was a pretty run of the mill episode.  The best part of the episode was Kitt, because it always is, but seriously that guy with the hedges was amazing- I GOT THE GAG BY THE THIRD TIME IT HAPPENED BUT THE FIRST TIME HE GOT STUCK IN THE TREE OH MY GOSH I WAS DY I N G- Also the fact that Kitt messed him up again trying to apologize is so sad yet funny ahosihdfiohasdf

Custom K.I.T.T.

APRIL GET THAT STUPID DECAL OFF HIM OH MY G O S H-

Somehow her 2-d design ideas looked almost worse than the actual thing and I thought the actual thing looked like a that default sticker decal that you get on a Hotwheels car.  I’msorryI’mnottryingtoroastanyartistsIjust I why there’s so much potential with giving Kitt decals :(

Seriously I want to use my drawing software to draw fire on Kitt at some point because it could be done so cool and that ain’t it chief.  I’m probably not going to be too great at it either since I don’t do backgrounds nearly enough and fire would be a background element for the most part but I could at least alter the colors ; m ;  OR LIGHTNING OH MY GOSH AAA LIGHTNING WOULD BE SO COO L ON HIM-  anyway it needed so much more red- and it was so asymmetrical too aHHHH-

I.  I’m fine it’s fine I’m fine it’s fi-

I don’t even know why Kitt needed a decal anyway, the other cars didn’t have to have decals to be considered custom, surely his dash alone could have done it-

ANYWAY

This ep was so WEIRD at times oh my gosh.  What was that series of insults the two ladies spat at each other?  Like the one just complimented her eyeshadow aggressively and the other one accused her of wearing “training bras” or something like whAT EXCU S E ME What is this episode?!  Kitt was so upset about the decal too :[

Soul Survivor

OH MY GOSH IT’S CUTE IT’S SO CUTE YOU GUYS-

I was recalling @knight-rider-fan-2000‘s theory about this episode (plz go check them out btw aaaa), and after watching it I totally agree.  Michael was especially kind in this episode, and he seems to be overall a more supportive mentor for Kitt this season, starting with Soul Survivor and being pretty consistent throughout.  I love their new dynamic so much- There’s definitely still episodes and moments where he’s closer to Season 1 Michael, but Season 2 Michael is a far superior human being in my opinion.

KITT’S SO ADORABLE LIL TINY CPU OH MY G O S H YOU’RE TELLING ME OUR SON IS ACTUALLY T H A T SMALL AAAAA

Michael really is so sweet in this oh my gosh, that whole arc where Kitt is his partner no matter what and that the car isn’t what made Kitt-- AW!!!!  ADORABLE!  Kitt being so unsure that he repeatedly asks Michael how it feels to see the Knight 2000 without him in it or fusses about his limited functionality as Michael patiently reassures him again and again that he’s wanted just the way he is, I just- Feelings.

One thing that hit me as funny though is when Michael finds Kitt’s CPU in the garage and the trash can is just like PULSATING and then he like yells at it like “tAlK tO mE kItT” and Kitt’s jus sitting there as a box of colored lights like “...”

I can just imagine a cut scene where Kitt’s like, “Oh and by the way Michael, if I could have said something I would have done so LONG before you started asking me to.  Believe it or not, I don’t like being in a trash can.”

“You Dingaling.”

Also Michael and his whole “I’m an honest man you can trust me listen I’ll give you a small TV just like this one” and then he proceeded to not do that.  Hmm.

Anyway, yeah, it doesn’t get any cuter than this.  The only thing that would have been better is if Adrianne didn’t exist.  Good thing she’s gone now~!

Ring of Fire

THIS IS SO TRIPPY THIS EPISODE IS SO TRIPPY

I would say that I hate Michael trying to get Kitt to subject himself to testing if he can withstand insane levels of heat.  I would say that if April did not then walk in and karma the crap out of him.  Gosh I loved it.  How he immediately was like whAT NOOO YOU WOULDN’T MAKE SOMEONE DO THAT and Kitt’s just like :/

dang hypocrite, Michael my feelings towards you are so complicated sometimes

anyway

So. Many. Dogs.  I usually love seeing Kitt interact with dogs but this started to get unsettling, I can’t blame him for not loving 6 different dogs all swarming him at once whAT- Have they nothing better to do than to jump on my son.  What the heck language were those banjo players singing in?  Was it a language or was it just gibberish keyboard spam that accidentally made it to the final script AOSHDIAOHSD

This whole swamp setting is really unique to this episode, and part of me really does commend the chance they took by switching up settings.  It’s almost always a small town on desert roads.  The way this all happened though was??? What?

I think the scriptwriters forgot that Return to Cadiz exists because Kitt got so much water damage AHSIDHAOISDH- I know April said the system was damaged but surely it would have minimized this a little bit.  Also did literally anything change by the end of this episode?  We didn’t see the guy get arrested, did we?  And the girl decided to stay living out in the swamp forest thing.  The only thing is that she, like, conquered her fear or something?  Even though she still isn’t acting in that direction?

This episode didn’t actually d o anything did it LOL

alsowhatevenwasthatexplosion

It’s not a bad episode though, just really bizarre.

Knightmares

YOU KNOW WHAT I SAID ABOUT IT NOT GETTING ANY CUTER?

I WAS WRONG.

THIS EPISODE this episode THIS EPISODE.  TOP TWO MATERIAL?  MORE LIKELY THAN YOU THINK.  TDR will always be my fav until the end of time I’m pretty sure because I don’t think another episode will get me to ugly sob like that (aLTHOUGH I AM MEGA HYPE HERE BECAUSE I WATCHED KvK AND IT WAS GOOD ALSO BUT WE’LL GET TO TH A T LATER) but in terms of sheer adorable buddies happiness this is the winner by all accounts.  I really like how they portray Michael Long, and I genuinely think the arc here has an impact on the rest of the season in terms of how Michael treats Kitt.

I love how Michael had told Kitt a long time ago how they were partners, like how he used to have a partner when he was a police officer, and how now when Long is so confused about everything everyone is trying to tell him, Kitt chooses this specific word to help introduce himself, and everything feels a bit more grounded for Long.  I love how Long immediately revolts against the way Devon and April try to tell him he’s wrong about who he is currently, which is, despite good intentions, the opposite of what he needs.  I love how Kitt then swoops in behind him and decides to treat Michael Long like a WHOLE NEW PERSON, one who Kitt tries to get to know.  I love how Long recognizes just how hard Kitt is trying and genuinely opens up to him.  I love how he never reverts to being mean or rude to Kitt after he gets in the car the second time, NOT EVEN ONE sarcastic comment.  How he never calls him a computer again after Kitt asks him not to, how he compliments his new partner left and right, how despite having no clue who Knight is he really wants to be that person for Kitt, because Kitt seems sincere and pretty great.  I adore that bit where Kitt gently, lovingly lists traits good and bad about Knight and how Long can finally connect to this other version of himself.

“One more thing about Michael Knight.”

“What’s that?”

“I was extremely fond of him”

I love how Long starts saying “Good work, Kitt” after they complete parts of their mission and how Knight does not stop this for the rest of the season, even after he regains his memory.  I love so much about this and could frankly talk about it even more than this but this is a brief summary so.  So yeah, we’re moving on ;W;

Silent Knight

It’s funny so.  I didn’t realize that Knight Rider had done any Christmas specials.  I knew about the Halloween specials, but I didn’t realize the Christmas special existed.  And so I was laughing at how funnee I was while I was like “SILENT KNIGHT HOLY KNIGHT ALL IS COME-” and then that’s exactly what the pun was meant to be.  they done bamboozled me.

ANYWAY THIS MIGHT BE THE STRANGEST CHRISTMAS SPECIAL TO EVER EXIST EVER.

They kept mentioning the Christmas banquet thing to make it mildly related to the season but then it wasn’t, it really wasn’t, it all revolved around clowns.  There was.  There was a Santa I guess.  Albeit a bank robber Santa--

And the kid is juuust obnoxious at first, I love how Kitt absolutely hates him immediately for some reason even though Kitt usually doesn’t hate people unless they do something really bad, but it feels so deserved because the kid is a jeeerk.  Maybe it’s because the kid accused him of endangering human life and that Hurt?

Kid: Just let me drive and I’ll throw away this dumb clock thing

Michael: No

Kitt: YES

Michael: W H A T ?!

Kitt: YES

Michael: ugh whatever

I was kind of expecting Kitt to pull some sort of shenanigans while the kid was driving as payback for whatever he absolutely despised him for, but Kitt was actually just really sweet and gave him a bit of freedom until he started endangering himself and then helped him get back into control.  Very wholesome.

AND the end was CUTE though, like the boy who had previously been a jerk going over and patting Kitt and being just sincerely nice to him ;w; wholesome

A Knight in Shining Armor

Gosh I always forget what this episode is about because the title is so loosely related LOL

The dynamic with Michael and the girl of the week was actually really cute and chemistry was not entirely nonexistant, so that’s a nice change from some of these that come out of nowhere.  Her arc was actually pretty sweet, how she resented technology because she wanted to be loved and cared about, how she thought computers were incapable of doing that until she talked to Kitt...

And the cave was prebby.

But why couldn’t she understand that her DAD was in PRISON.

“Why didn’t he ever come to see me?” “Because he was in Jail.” “oh.  But why didn’t he call???”

Diamonds Aren't a Girl's Best Friend

SOMEONE

AHAHA

SOMEONE CALLED MICHAEL

AHAHA

BERNIE CALLED HIM A DINGALING. Speaking of Bernie, all I could think this whole episode was

White-Line Warriors

LONG-LEGGED PUNK-

Seriously idk what this season’s love affair with the baddies picking on Michael but I love it.

Honestly the twist of this episode was really interesting, I still don’t fully get how the baddies’ plan comes together though.  So the song plays on the radio and the police go to investigate the drag racers and the crims are IMMEDIATELY ready?  okay then.

Radio announcer Kitt tho.  That is blessed.

I want Radio Announcer Kitt.  Then again, I just want more Kitt in general so.

Race for Life

INHALE

Y’ALL ARE REAAALLY TRYING TO MAKE ME DETHRONE KNIGHTMARES AS THE CUTEST, AREN’T YOU?

Well ha, joke’s on you episode, you’re getting docked points for only giving Kitt and Becky two interactions.  And for making the donor obnoxious for most of the episode (although that end scene was pretty adorable).  So, okay, second cutest.

THE WAY KITT WAVED I-

HE IS SO CUTE

he is so cute.

Devon was really sweet this episode, not gonna lie.  I’m not sure if I’ve said it on this blog before, but I had strong dislike for Devon after Season 1.  I can explain that later if anyone wants, I’d be perfectly willing to compare the two seasons, but Season 2 Devon is pretty alright.  He doesn’t have much of a presence, but when he does, he’s kind.  I’m assuming he let Becky win at checkers, in which case uh, aW?!  Devon that’s cute.

KITT TRYING TO TEACH THE TEN YEAR OLD CHESS AHSIODHOAISD I LOVE YOU BUDDY

Also, I feel like this is the episode April really became her own character, separate from Cadiz.  She’d kind of just been a slightly perkier Bonnie, but now we get to see her family, her concerns... And April’s a pretty good character.

OH AND THE WHOLE “Kitt is family” ARC IS THE SWEETEST THING ASHDHAOSDohIAD

“Julio, meet Kitt.  He’s part of the family”

“Thank you, Michael.”

MY.  HEART.

Speed Demons

Okay so.  This is another one of those episodes where very little seemed to change by the end of the episode.  The guy who was actually in danger quit motorcycling anyway soooo...  The episode plot itself isn’t what I feel like talking about.

What was WITH that one announcer guy?  Were we meant to like him or not???  First he tries to Kick the Kitt and Kitt’s like :/ whatever

and then he comes back and they start to have like, a deep conversation, and he lovingly pats the hood before walking away.  And we’re like AWWW OKAY THIS GUY IS NOT TO BAD

AND THEN he asks Kitt to talk for someone and Kitt’s like “...” and the guy riots.  Why did Kitt not talk for him and why did the guy go so absolutely bonkers when he didn’t?  Were the cameras rolling and I just didn’t realize?  And then we kind of hate the guy again because he once again absolutely went ballistic at Kitt.  “That’s Showbiz.”

But then the dynamic with that coworker keeps coming up, and yeah, I guess she does seem a bit annoying.  But she also seems like a potential lady of the week and a potential protagonist.  So when she gets splashed with mud or whatever that was and the guys all like :D

What are we meant to be feeling?

Are we meant to feel bad for her or happy for him?

Because I just felt confused.

Goliath Returns 1 & 2

GOSH DARNIT ADRIANNE IS BACK

ALSO I-I-I I TAKE BACK EVERYTHING I SAID ABOUT YOU BEING A DOOFY AND STUPID VILLAIN JUST P L E A S E STOP ; M ;

SERIOUSLY WHEN DID GARTHE TURN FULL PSYCHOPATH-

THE FEELING I GOT REMINDED ME OF WATCHING THE SHERLOCK FINALE.  S H E R L O C K  F I N A L E.

Sigh, I should have known he’d gone off the deep end when he walked into a hot tub with jeans on.

I will forever be mad at some versions coughincludingtheoneIwaswatchingoncough for cutting out the fact that Kitt’s microchip was almost ENTIRELY WIPED/OVERWRITTEN AND PUT INTO GOLIATH.  Because uh, the way the show cut it up for TV, it seems like Kitt’s really in no danger other than being annoyed.  But no, literally everyone almost dies.  Fun times!

Seriously why did this convoluted garbage get a two-parter but Kitt vs. Karr didn’t?

This episode makes me sad.  Not just because Garthe tried, and almost succeeded, to take away everything we love in this show.  Not just because this episode strayed far enough from the typical formula for this to seem like some dystopian nightmare version of Knight Rider. Not just because freaking Adrianne is back.

I mean because I loved Garthe’s character, and this totally changed it.  I like that they went into Garthe’s trauma a bit more with this one, but unlike some villains in the Knight Rider canon (okay let’s not play games, UNLIKE KARR-), what he does is so dastardly, SO insaNE, that there is no way to argue that he might be justified.  No.  No.  Garthe, Adrianne, and Goliath are gone now, and that’s how it had to be.

OH ALSO GO O F F APRIL YES QUEEN I LOVE YOU- I honestly felt so bad for her when she turned around and broke down right after standing up to him, like dang, that hurts.  And Devon was sweet in this episode too ;w;

Okay but were they planning on making another episode of this?  Because that end scene was such an obvious teaser it’s not even funny.

“I hope we don’t run into those very much drowned people out in the streets again, Michael.  And I especially hope that they do not construct another semitrailer with the exact same scale and name as the previous one that was driven into the ocean.”

“Yes, I agree Kitt, this is also an anxiety that I possess despite the fact that they are very much definitely Deceased.  I sure hope that plot convenience does not interfere in the future.”

THANK GOODNESS THAT ADRIANNE IS GONE

wait what?  her actress is in another episode as another character who’s just as awful? wHYYYYYY

A Good Knight's Work

THAT BEAR NEEDS TO DIE. I am so glad Michael ejected the dumb thing at the end, Kitt deserved it. Especially after Michael essentially told him to temporarily kill himself. Michael's a cyberbully now ig. The arc with Kitt and the car salesman was cute. Apparently deactivation is considered programming now? Michael my mans you could have given Kitt any warning at all (I kind of take this back after one of the Season 3 episodes I’ve watched uHHHH this was a lot of warning compared to how Michael rolls in S3 what the heck is wrong with him). Cute episode overall tho I guess. ALSO I JUST NOW REALIZED "A GOOD KNIGHT'S WORK" IS A PUN BECAUSE KITT IS WILTON KNIGHT'S WORK AND I'M MAD AT MYSELF FOR NOT NOTICING IT SOONER-

Mouth of the Snake and that other garbage one that's title makes no sense

David might as well be a plank of wood. A plank of wood that yeets himself ten feet into the air whenever possible, but I digress. Does this count as superpowers? I just love how he offended Kitt 0.1 seconds after meeting him and then Michael proceeded to tell Kitt off for reacting. Love that soooo much. It's also hilarious to me how most of this episode has a similar structure to most Knight Rider episodes and then they randomly start reacreating the Most Dangerous Game--

Let it Be Me

Why isn't this the season finale?! I mean, I'm glad it's not, but why? This is way worse than White Bird like why- I feel like the Stevie episodes are kind of a controversy in this fandom? I loved the first one. This one's just, blegh it's okay. She and Michael still have pretty great chemistry WHEN THEY ARE SPEAKING IN REGULAR SPEECH. I do not like Stevie singing the same song with Michael 100 times. The duet at the end is kind of cute though, sue me I like corny things.

Stevie: I’m so sorry I shouldn’t have been with this one guy but ;m;

Michael: has been with approximately 100 women by now

Also Michael: How could you ;m;

Big Iron

This episode is kinda wild. Why does the guy manage to have a full out breakup with Lucy in less than one minute? Why is Michael a marriage counselor now? Why couldn't Kitt take the oxygen out of the cabin when Michael was definitely going to die if he didn't?  Since when does Turbo Boost use a ton of oxygen anyway?  Why does this man just immediately make up with his wife after finding out that she helped him? And most of all, WHY DIDN'T THAT BARTENDER LADY ACT THE LEAST BIT CONCERNED WHEN THEY ABSOLUTELY TORE UP THE PLACE??? Lmbo she's just like "Stop it guys :/"

It’s so bizarre that this is the season finale ahsdoifhasodf but go off I guess NBC

[retrauxpunk]

Rain, I ask you: ALL the quarantine asks!

Animated character that was your gay awakening? not really an ‘awakening’ so much as a ‘hint’, but Azula from Avatar: the Last Airbender ... yep

Grilled cheese or PB&J? GRILLED CHEESE

What show/YouTube video(s) do you put on in the background when you when you don’t have anything to watch but you want something on? I don’t really experience this mood, but my go-to watch is the vlogbrothers YouTube channel

Your go-to bar order, if you drink? if it’s a low-key/work outing, lager or cider (esp the ones with non-apple fruits too); if it’s getting more serious (lol) or with closer friends or a more celebratory mood: vodka with sparkling apple juice

What’s your favorite pair of shoes that you own? these Doc Martens that are white with red hearts got ’em with my first ever full time design job paycheck. i did not take care of them well so they’re super scuffed/beat-up and very much not Perfectly White ... but they’re still comfy as heck, i still love the design, and they’ve lasted 3 years so far, let’s see how much longer we can make it ... also i think they’re a limited edition so i likely won’t get my hands on any replacements...

Top three cuisines? my cheap-ass answer would be, like: East Asian, South-East Asian, Western European ... but my non-shit answer is... Japanese, Chinese, Italian (ftr i’m not a seafood fan ... i just love the ramen and non-seafood stuff that japan makes hehe)

What was your first word as a child (that wasn’t a variation of “Mom” or “Dad”)? i have no clue

What’s a job that you’ve had that people might be surprised to find out you’ve had? cold-calling strangers to ask them to do market research phone surveys (y)

Look up. What’s directly across from you? the kitchen

Do you own any signed books/memorabilia in general? i have a messenger bag that i got signed by Jeph Jacques of the Questionable Content webcomic that i once adored ... and I think my boyfriend has gifted me a signed Matthew Reilly hardcover.

Preferred way to spend a rainy day? curled up indoors wearing something cosy, reading and eating something delicious. playing animal crossing lol. aaaaand listening to music, a good podcast, watching stand-up comedy, drawing, getting intoxicated...

What do you get on your bagels? What WOULD you get if you had access to anything you wanted? occasionally the standard smoked salmon and cream cheese, but i slightly prefer the meat to be, like, prosciutto

Brunch or midnight snacks? ehh fuck it, both???? both!!

Favorite mug you own easter limited edition waitrose mug, squat and round and yellow, painted/shaped like a very round chick. a Borb,,,,

What coffee drink would you describe yourself as? i actually thought about this and, uh, peppermint mocha. not for everyone, slightly weird, never fitting in with the regulars/being a default, but???? obviously awesome?? also: about 65% on the mainstream/hipster scale

Pick a song lyric to describe your current mood (and drop the name and artist!) The Wombats is the artist. lyrics are either “Let's dance to Joy Division / and celebrate the irony / Everything is going wrong, / but we're so happy” from Let’s Dance to Joy Division or “the edge of nowhere’s such a beautiful place” from Emoticons

Fruity or herbal teas? herbal but i agree with @queenofslime, black tea is the best

What’s that one TV show that you’re a little bit embarrassed to watch but you still like nonetheless? ...do i experience embarrassment about what i like to watch on TV? i don’t know if i do, because i watch relatively few shows ... and have relatively little shame? maybe???

That book you were forced to read for class but actually ended up enjoying? ftr i wasn’t bitter about this before reading, i had no preconceived biases against, and i was pretty open to liking it -- The Namesake by Jhumpa Lahiri

Do you match your socks? if they’re of a really nice design then yes always, if they’re of a more standard/generic design then ... not necessarily

Have you ever been horseback riding? yes a few times ... on the last time which was like five years ago ... the lady said i was a natural and asked if i’d ridden much before, which was. flattering. and yes this is a Brag.

What was your “phase” when you were younger? (i.e., Mythology Nerd, Horse Girl, Space Geek, etc) didn’t have much of a hardcore phase but i was pretty much always into fantasy ... oh wait yeah i did! i had a spy phase :)

Have you ever been to jail? to closed-down ones, yep

What’s your opinion on Lazy Susan’s (the spinning tray in the middle of tables)? pretty great idea unequivocably, right?

Puzzles? i tend to enjoy riddles/lateral thinking puzzles, i am impartial about jigsaw puzzles. i enjoy escape rooms.

You can only have one juice for the rest of your life, what is it? apple ... but elderflower if i’m feeling reckless (y)

What section do you immediately head for when you walk into a bookstore? young adult ... or stationery

What’s one thing you’re trying to learn/relearn in your downtime right now? Russian language :( it’s going не так хорошо

Who’s your go-to musical artist when you’re feeling upbeat? not sure if i have a go-to artist so much as go-to playlists i’ve made but some good ones are The Wombats and Bastille 

Where could someone find you in a museum? mammals/birds in natural history

What’s that one outfit in your closet you never get the chance to wear but want to? i swear i was talking about this recently but i clean the fuck forgot what it was ... oh yeah, i have this short-sleeved black minidress festooned with silver buckles/buttons and also featuring decorative suspenders ... which, yes, does make me look like a sexy military officer,,, anyway it’s pretty badass and somehow it hasn’t occurred to me till now that i can just wear that every day now if i want? ftw i do get the chance to wear it, it’s just a little bit Extra so i get self-conscious. i’ve worn it a few times though. including to work. because fuck it, right? i didn’t become a graphic designer to be shy about sometimes looking like a prototypical emo/scene kid-turned-adult??? (ftr i was never an actual emo/scene kid. i lacked the requisite guts, commitment of feeling, and permissive parents.)

Rainbows, stars, or sunset colored clouds? sunset-coloured clouds :)

If you could own any non-traditional pet (dogs, cats, fish, rodents, etc), what would it be? how about a shapeshifting feathered dragon that could range from, like, two thirds of a foot long (20cm) to sit on your shoulder, to ... the size of a massive draft horse? (but longer and thinner)

Do you have more art on your walls or more photographs? photos, though if i didn’t live with a partner, it might be art

You have to get one meme tattooed on your body, what meme is it and where does it go? i’ve already got a meme tattooed on my body ... a private meme i have with my boyfriend, one on each leg (left: outer side, just above knee; right: outside, a few inches above the ankle)

Pick a superhero sidekick to hang out with ?????? is this a sidekick to a known superhero, or a superhero to act as your sidekick? also i don’t know? who are the standard heroes? i’m not up to date on this.

Lakes, rivers, or oceans? rivers or oceans

Favorite mid-2000s song i can’t decide a favourite, it’s too stressful, but one that i like is Rob Thomas’s Little Wonders

How do you dress when you’re home alone? either a t-shirt and PJ pants, or a dress (usually short-sleeved/sleeveless minidress)

Where do you sit in the living room (we all have a preferred spot, and you know it)? on either side of the couch haha

Knives or swords? BOTH but ok swords.

A song you didn’t think you’d enjoy but ended up loving hmmmmm like all of Linkin Park’s first three albums with some exceptions? hahahah

Pick an old-school Disney Channel Original Movie i don’t think i.....know any????

Are you a “Quote that relates to the photos” caption-er, an “explanation of where I took the photos” caption-er, or a no caption kinda person when you post pictures online? explanation, though on instagram quite often the photo and caption are unrelated

Name a classic Vine there’s only one thing worse than a rapist...

What’s the freezer food that you stock up on when you go to the grocery store? dumplings! as in the gyoza type.

How do you top your ice cream? that ‘magic’ chocolate sauce that hardens into chocolate. that stuff. i watched those ads all childhood long but my parents were immigrants and therefore very thrifty so we NEVER bought it iirc and then in my adulthood i got it a bunch of times. but now i live in the uk and can’t find it. and forgot it existed. and have never seen it anywhere.

Do you like Jello? the kind that’s served on a plate as a dessert? meh. the kind that are found in asian grocery stores as individual fruit-flavoured serves in little plastic cups? YES 

What’s something that you don’t have a picture of that you wish you did? future stock prices? LOL ... or i’m gonna go with @queenofslime‘s answer again -- how others see me. it’s a great answer.

How are you at climbing trees? not............ good. i mean, i like climbing, but i have absolutely terrible upper body strength. i did bouldering for a couple months but only stuck to the first like... three out of nine difficulty levels.

[whatimpunsexual]

Animated character that was your gay awakening? - I’d have to say both Danny Phantom, and also Sam Manson. 

Grilled cheese or PB&J? - PB&J but only with strawberry jelly

What show/YouTube video(s) do you put on in the background when you when you don’t have anything to watch but you want something on? - I usually let one of my various “Music Mix” playlists 

Your go-to bar order, if you drink? - I am 20, I cannot legally drink or go into bars, but a rum and coke or a fireball is nice occasionally

What’s your favorite pair of shoes that you own? - The 5 inch heels i use to intimidate @paxonia

Top three cuisines? - Japanese, Mexican, Italian

What was your first word as a child (that wasn’t a variation of “Mom” or “Dad”)? - No idea, but i know that my first sentence was me quoting Shrek. Unfortunately, my dad doesn’t remember the sentence, but I’ve always felt a connection to “That is a nice boulder.”

What’s a job that you’ve had that people might be surprised to find out you’ve had? - I worked as a Manager at Mcdonalds for 3 and a half years, but that’s also like the only job I’ve had besides my current one

Look up. What’s directly across from you? - My fish tank with my Betta fish (Karma) in it

Do you own any signed books/memorabilia in general? - I have the Limited Edition Journal 3 signed and numbered by Alex Hirsch

Preferred way to spend a rainy day? - In bed, preferably watching movies

What do you get on your bagels? What WOULD you get if you had access to anything you wanted? - Butter on an everything bagel. If I had access to everything, I think I’d still go simple lmao

Brunch or midnight snacks? - Midnight snacks

Favorite mug you own - One that I got for Christmas a couple years back. It’s just a nice maroon color and it tapers out to be a bit wider at the top, and I Just Think It’s Neat

What coffee drink would you describe yourself as? - One of those Starbucks caramel iced coffees that you can get at gas stations

Pick a song lyric to describe your current mood (and drop the name and artist!) -  “ the world might do me in / It's all right cause I'm with friends / Cause I'm giving up again / It doesn't matter” - Ghost / Mystery Skulls

Fruity or herbal teas? - Herbal

What’s that one TV show that you’re a little bit embarrassed to watch but you still like nonetheless? - Big Mouth 

That book you were forced to read for class but actually ended up enjoying? - Oedipus was actually really good, and like all of the Shakespeare things we read in AP Lit

Do you match your socks? - Almost never

Have you ever been horseback riding? - Not by myself, but at September Fest one year, they had a person guiding kids around on horseback and that was fun

What was your “phase” when you were younger? (i.e., Mythology Nerd, Horse Girl, Space Geek, etc) - Mythology..

Have you ever been to jail? - Nope

What’s your opinion on Lazy Susan’s (the spinning tray in the middle of tables)? - They’re convenient

Puzzles? - Yes

You can only have one juice for the rest of your life, what is it? - Orange juice

What section do you immediately head for when you walk into a bookstore? - Manga/Graphic Novels

What’s one thing you’re trying to learn/relearn in your downtime right now? - Drawing hands and proper anatomy lmao

Who’s your go-to musical artist when you’re feeling upbeat? - Recently, Mariana’s Trench

Where could someone find you in a museum? - Greek and Roman Mythology, or the classical art 

What’s that one outfit in your closet you never get the chance to wear but want to? - I keep wanting to wear my overall shorts but it’s too cold

Rainbows, stars, or sunset colored clouds? - The clouds are always so fun to look at

If you could own any non-traditional pet (dogs, cats, fish, rodents, etc), what would it be? - A little baby red fox

Do you have more art on your walls or more photographs? - Art/posters

You have to get one meme tattooed on your body, what meme is it and where does it go? - the Lenny Face, and on my ankle

Pick a superhero sidekick to hang out with - Dick Grayson

Lakes, rivers, or oceans? - Rivers

Favorite mid-2000s song - Dear Maria, Count Me In

How do you dress when you’re home alone? - Pajama pants and a sports bra

Where do you sit in the living room (we all have a preferred spot, and you know it)? - The right side of our couch, curled up in a comfy lean 

Knives or swords? - Swords

A song you didn’t think you’d enjoy but ended up loving - Bang! by AJR, Idk why, I just didn’t expect it to hit as hard as it did lmao

Pick an old-school Disney Channel Original Movie - High School Musical 2

Are you a “Quote that relates to the photos” caption-er, an “explanation of where I took the photos” caption-er, or a no caption kinda person when you post pictures online? - It depends on the picture

Name a classic Vine - ROAD WORK AHEAD?? UH YEAH! I SURE HOPE IT DOES!

What’s the freezer food that you stock up on when you go to the grocery store? - Pizza Rolls

How do you top your ice cream? - Whipped cream 

Do you like Jello? - Yes, but only certain flavors

What’s something that you don’t have a picture of that you wish you did? - When Pax and I got pretend married at our first Sadie Hawkins Dance

How are you at climbing trees? - Depends on the tree. Outside of my gma’s old house there was a Japanese Magnolia tree that was perfect for climbing, but I can’t climb straight up 

You happy, @soliduslion ?

[generation-of-kuroko-and-kagami]

My KnB Headcanons

I should explain at the beginning here that what I mean by “headcanons” probably isn’t what “headcanon” actually means. I think with most headcanons, there is a basis of reasoning or proof for whatever your idea is, but when I say headcanon, I mean something like “I bet Kuroko does *this* in his free time.” Essentially, I’m just going to be spouting off things that I can see a character or group of people doing because I think it’s funny or fitting not necessarily because there’s something to hint at it in the plot. I don’t know if I should be calling these things headcanons, but I enjoy thinking them up nonetheless. Also, I haven’t actually read the manga or the character bible things so if I say something that can’t be true because canon says otherwise, please let me know.

Things about Kise:

The one thing Kise can’t do is sing, despite the fact that he goes to karaoke frequently.

Kise likes to golf but only because he thinks he looks good in golf apparel. 

When he was a kid, Kise used to get bullied because of his bubbly personality, but it never really bothered him.

Kise needs to wear glasses when he’s in class, but he doesn’t because he doesn’t like how they make him look.

Things about Aomine:

Unlike Kise, Aomine can sing, but would never do so in front of an audience.

His favorite movies are old samurai movies because he thinks they’re badass. 

Aomine reads superhero comics, his favorite being Batman.

He’s thought about a tattoo, but hasn’t figured out what to get yet.

Aomine always wished for a brother, though he thinks of Kuroko as one.

Aomine’s goal is to move to America before he turns eighteen. 

Things about Midorima:

Midorima is actually a pretty decent cook.

He walks his sister to school every morning because he’s constantly concerned for her safety. 

Midorima considered contacts at one point but decided against it because he was worried that sweating would cause buildup on them and affect his vision during basketball games.

Midorima hardly ever studies an opponents habits and play style because he’d rather depend on his lucky item and horoscope.

Things about Murasakibara:

Murasakibara used to play objects or background roles in school plays a lot because of his height (ex. something like a tree or an extra). He also preferred those roles because he didn’t have to move around too much.

He likes little dogs because he thinks they’re cute, but would never want to own one. 

He watches soap operas with Tatsuya frequently.

Murasakibara’s bed had to be specially made for him.

The reason he lets his hair grow out is literally because he’s too lazy to go and get it cut.

Murasakibara can’t swim.

Things about Akashi:

Akashi used to take dance lessons.

He doesn’t really like wearing neckties despite the fact that he wears them frequently for school and other things.

Akashi likes cats, and would name his first one after a classical composer. 

Akashi is also a talented artist, though he doesn’t enjoy it as much as his other actives.

He enjoys skiing, but he can’t snowboard.  

Things about Kagami:

Kagami was supposed to a gymnast instead of a basketball player, but he realized when he was child that basketball was not only better suited to him, but he liked it more.

Kagami can draw, and he frequently sketches in class when he’s not sleeping. 

He works out twice a day, not including basketball practice. 

Kagami can also bake, but he doesn’t enjoy it or do it as much as cooking savory foods.

Things about Kuroko:

Kuroko likes the idea of writing a book someday.

Kuroko’s handwriting is pitiful. Like, nobody but Kuroko understands it.

He keeps the duck key chain that Midorima got him for his birthday in his basketball bag.

Kuroko considered using his lack of presence to hijack and keep the Seirin uniform when he graduated. He hasn’t come to a conclusive decision yet.

Things about Hyūga:

Hyūga can’t handle amusement park rides that spin. He’ll throw up immediately.

Hyūga has tried to dunk before, but he can’t jump high enough.

He’s wanted to ask Midorima about his shooting form many times, but ultimately never got around to it. 

Hyūga was the primary person to design the Seirin uniforms. 

Things about Izuki:

He’s been working on developing puns in other languages should he have the opportunity to use them.

Izuki knows how to knit. He made Hyūga a scarf for his birthday once.

He really likes singing along to folksy country songs.

Izuki plans on going to the same university as Hyūga so they can continue playing basketball together.

He also keeps a picture of blonde Hyūga in his wallet so he can whip it out at any time to tease Hyūga.

Things about Kiyoshi:

Kiyoshi often plays around with the stray cats he finds near his house.

He likes landscaping art and gardening, which he picked up from his grandmother.

While he was in the hospital, Kiyoshi spent his time talking to the other patients who often said that Kiyoshi lifted their spirits every time he came to talk to them.

Kiyoshi likes to go sailing, though he doesn’t know how to. Usually, he’ll go with Riko as she does know how to sail.

Things about Riko:

Well... she can sail.

She’s terrible with directions. 

Riko has been asked a couple times to work for the school as the basketball coach after she graduates.

Things about Tatsuya:

Tatsuya can dance. He likes to salsa.

When he gets annoyed, he speaks in English. For example, when Murasakibara is messy, Tatsuya will say to him, “get your shit together.” Murasakibara doesn’t understand him, though.

He’s a fan of classic literature and music, though he also enjoys trashy American TV.

Tatsuya is a cat person.

Things about Takao:

Takao babysits sometimes over the school breaks.

He couldn’t ride a bike that well until after he starting hauling Midorima around. 

The only time Takao has ever had actual contact with a hawk was at the zoo. And the hawk was not a fan. 

He’s started to pay attention to his horoscope ever since meeting Midorima. 

His backup plan, should basketball fall through, is to become a rockstar. 

Well, that’s it. I guess I probably should’ve called this post a trivia post instead of a headcanon post, but nonetheless, I had a good time. Let me know if you have any other tidbits that you think would fit these characters or any other characters. Thanks for reading!

[reimenaashelyee]

Yay! Thank you! Yeah, experimentation comes into play hugely. I’d think 60% of the process is just “Step 2: ???”. But I can show you a bit of how I make the choices that end in the final aesthetic.

So The Carpet Merchant looks like this:

It’s a blend of several influences; bande dessinee meets art history meets me. But The Carpet Merchant aesthetic is meant to be the comics-version of Ottoman Miniature (minyatur), and that has been the “gimmick”, as I would call it, that drove the art direction of the story.

So much of the work in designing these layouts (before doing the thumbnails, and while drawing the actual pages themselves) is doing the research. Which means finding the correct references and making a mood board, but also understanding the rules, elements and philosophy behind the art itself. So that you’ll know which rules to break, stretch, fuse, adapt, yet still keep the essence of the thing.

Here are some of the references from my folder: (no sources attached as I’m feeling lazy rn lol sorry)

You’ll see it’s not just the minyatur itself I’m referencing. I’m bringing in the whole gang (architecture, textile, fashion and more) into the art direction, since artists never create in a vacuum, so it’s super important to find out what sort of artistic influence they may have been immersed in at the time. (You can’t always get an accurate impression, you’ve to aim for close enough...which is the moral of the story)

Anyway looking at the minyaturs, you can observe where and how they have influenced the layouts of TCM, and how TCM responds as a modern interpretation and usage of the style. TCM doesn’t look like the references 100%, it’s not meant to be because COMICS. But you can see how the old and the new link together. Look again at the image with the two people running across the house.

What the heck!! It’s madness. Each part of the house can be a comics panel by itself, if the original artist decided to stretch the idea. Then you see how there are captions that narrate the scene, above, below and within. Hello friends, you got yourself a comics page.

Two panels of a scene! Slap some speech bubbles on top of it. Boom. Comic.

There’s a lot more to see of this once you go into the Research Hell phase, but even with these two alone you can see how the “gimmick” came about. It’s a natural, logical extension of the original. But how does that influence the design of the layouts? This is where the rules come into play.

So I gather up as many references as possible (and making sure most of them are identified as Ottoman, though I’ll allow the occasional Mughal or Persian), and analyse the heck out of everything. Here’s my understanding of the rules:

Colour: Pastel yet bright. Blue, yellow and red are standard.

Framing: Figures are contained in a frame, always. Whether it’s a simple box, an archway, or a building (that becomes a big panel containing tinier panels, as seen earlier).

Embellishments: lots of pretty details and patterns, arabesques and florals. None of them clutter the illustration, and all of them function to draw your eye to the central figures, and harmonise the composition.

Usage of space: despite how sparse the outside of a minyatur appears, it actually uses THE ENTIRE PAGE as part of its storytelling. You can see it in the earlier minyatur with the tree growing out of the framing. Sometimes the background is painted and contains scenes of wildlife, more florals, and marbling/speckling.

Adapting all these rules to TCM:

Colour: No change. My colouring style is already pastel yet bright. I can go on and on about how the colours in TCM are used to tell the story but that’s another big post entirely.

Framing: still pretty true to form (I hope). Except it morphs and changes, depending on the needs of each part of the story.

Embellishments: people always notice this about TCM! I’ve to point out that it’s more than just pretty. Many of the embellishments are actually my way of incorporating carpets into the story, without necessarily having to show the carpets themselves. (and if you notice in the original, you can see the parallel with carpets too, see below)

Usage of space: This translates into using gutters (the empty spaces between and around panels) as part of the storytelling. Effectively turning the gutters into comic panels and framings themselves. It’s a lot easier to figure out how to use gutters if you’ve experience in doing illustration and thinking like an illustrator. But it’s all up to how creative you want to be.

The stars and moon on the left set the night time scene, as do the colours of the background. The branching florals guide your eye to the green panel, as well as framing it, and they also represent Zeynel’s blooming into his new life.

Zeynel is on the verge of a breakdown, struggling to curb his vampiric hunger and losing his grip on his identity as a not-vampire person. The red panel pays homage to the wildlife backgrounds in minyatur, but they take on an active rather than decorative role to represent his mental state.

Taken together:

Some of the layouts are simple. I usually reserve simplicity for highly emotional scenes, since I want the emotion to be the focus. These are the more conventional style layouts.

Then there’s the middle ground.

And finally, there are the WILD ones. The ones where I had fun bending and twisting the rules. How comic can an Ottoman minyatur go, and vice versa?

There’s a lot of experimentation. Most of the time I can’t really explain how I translate the script/dialogue to what you see on the page, since the process from thumbnails to colours is evolving, though the basic composition remains. I do have the rules though, and I tend to follow them. And I try to make each layout as unique as possible, though I don’t pressure myself. It all depends on the story. It’s learning to trust your intuition and going with it.

If you want to do your comics this way...for each comic you create, there will be different rules you’ve to discover yourself. For TCM, it’s this. For Seance Tea Party, it’s something else. And for Alexander, it’s another thing.

(this is my excuse for saying I AM SORRY I CAN’T GIVE GENERALISED INFO!! If you ask me to do a version of this post with Seance Tea Party it’ll look super different)

You just do what you got to do. Sometimes your comic tells you it wants to be a black and white minimalist manga, and THAT’S COOL! Let your story guide you to how it wants to look, and remember to always have FUN!

[fweeble]

Episode 2: In Another Country

I hope everyone stays hydrated, whether or not they’re currently suffering through summer! I’ve got my set up all prepared (with the tissues and pillows being the most important, but that’s preference). Hope everyone else is comfy as we start episode two! 

We’re gonna need it. 

Looks like we’re jumping right in. OOF. Ibe’s face ruins me. He’s so worried about Eiji. Someone needs to hold my hand, my heart hurts and I’m already prepared to cry everywhere. 

None of this was ever supposed to happen, Charlie. Just save Skip and Eiji --just save them, Charlie. Save them.

Ibeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. Your decision to cover American gangs will bring you so much heartache. So much. Q AQ

Not even half a minute into the episode and my boy Shorter makes an appearance. My heart. Look at that lighting... the glow... the colors. Oh my god, just slay me with the colors. Hnnnnnnng. Also: three motorcycles. I am secretly hoping that Shorter’s just casually commandeering Ash’s since Ash rudely yoinked his away. I can dream, can’t I? Disappointed how they cut out some of Shorter’s insightful dialogue, but time constraints, I understand.

Shorter, your gut is very spot-on. 

Seriously, Mappa could just murder me with these gorgeous backgrounds. Look at the attention to detail. I know this is a hostage situation but let’s take a moment to bathe in the beauty that is this (old, abandoned) scenery. Aaaaah.

And here is Arthur, trying to look intimidating and ominous by hiding in the shadows, but he’s sadly overshadowed by everything else. As usual. Is anyone else impressed with all the effort that goes into everything? I’ll try not to wax lyrical but look at all those gang tags and planks left around, the cracked tiles and the smudges --someone had to draw that.

Everyone knows it’s a trap, Arthur. You’re clever, but you lack a certain degree of self-awareness and ability...

but do keep talking. Your only positive point is your smooth, buttery baritone. Nice. I will enjoy your villainous monologue. It will match your laughably stereotypical evil ‘do.

Truly, subtlety isn’t your strong point, Arthur. 

Also, lying. But please, lie more. 

Eiji and Skipper together is my favorite thing. Skipper is this tiny, determined ball of controlled kick-ass. Eiji is utterly out of his depth and looking around curiously because boy, Japan wasn’t like this!

These two cuties. Please.

Fuck ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooff.

PUNCH HIS FACE IN!!!

*WILL SMITHS THIS SCENE* I have so many feelings, I have so many things I want to scream about, I want to dissect just how much this one line underlines the differences between Ash and Arthur despite the fact there are plenty of superficial similarities between the two and I just --HNNNNNNG. *clenches fist* I HAVE FEELINGS AND THEY ARE STRONG.

Skiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiip. Eiiiiiiiiiiiiiijiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii. So many props to Eiji for staying relatively calm in a frankly terrifying situation. 

Skiiiiiiiippeeeeeer. *STRANGLED DYING MANATEE NOISES*

*INTENSE SOBBING* SKIP, YOU ARE TOO BEAUTIFUL, YOU PRECIOUS STARCHILD. HE IS SO PROTECTIVE OVER EIJI. MY HEEEEART.

Why are you such trash, Arthur????

EIJI’S FAAAAAAAAAAAACE. SAAAAVE HIIIIM.

I’M TOO EMOTIONAL, SOMEONE FUCKING HOLD MY HAND ALREADY!!!

You didn’t even lose your fingers. You just have some scars. Talk about disproportionate retribution???

Oh my god there’s an actual opening segment, I thought they were forgoing it altogether because 19 volumes in 24 episodes, but I guess not. I wasn’t ready. I wasn’t prepared. Aaaaah.

Seriously, the background???? I’ll try to keep the gratuitous snapshots to a minimum. I’ll try. Honestly.

I think from now on I’ll start all my Nanner Fish Liveblogs with this. 

Why does this break my heart. (No, don’t answer. Just leave me to wallow.)

Beautiful juxtaposition. Also, rude. I love that lighting through the trees, though. Q AQ

*HYSTERICAL SCREECHING* MAPPA, Y’ALL ARE THE RUDEST ASSHOLES TO EVER ANIMATE AND I AM SO OFFENDED, EVERYTHING HURTS, NOTHING IS MORE BEAUTIFUL THAN THIS, LAY ME TO REST.

Yut-luuuuuung.

WHY MUST MAPPA BE SO CRUEL AND HURTFUL.

GOSH, THIS IS GORGEOUS. MY HEART. WHY DO THIS TO MY DELICATE BABY HEART???

Guys, guys, guys. Look at all that gang tagging. SOMEONE HAD TO DRAW THAT. THE COLORS MAAAAN. Also: Siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiing.

FUCK OFF. I HAD TO STOP FOR A BIT. JUST. WHY. FUCKING WHYYY.

MAPPA YOU BASTARDS.

Every.single.fucking.time, Marvin. 

*high pitched distressed noises*

Ash, you beautiful, sassy smartass. PLEASE BE A LITTLE LESS SASSY.

My heart. 

Just call him Florence Nightingale. 

*more strangled high pitched noises of distress* I wish Ash wasn’t so right.

THEIR SLEEPING POSITIONS. SKIIIIIIIIIIP. EIJIIIIII. MY HEART.

SERIOUSLY PUNCH THAT FACE IN.

Oh my fucking god. I thought he was just a random new mob character, but he’s that dude who looked exactly like Charlie!! The first time I read Nanner Fish I was convinced Charlie was a mole because of him!!!

HE ALSO LOST THE PORN ‘STACHE. CONGRATULATIONS. YOU LOOK SO MUCH BETTER. A LOT MORE INTIMIDATING.

I totally went off-topic. The topic being: Marvin is gross, the scum of the earth, and should be punched a lot in sensitive places.

Thank you, Skip.

I am the worst person, I’m sorry, because I spent this entire slow pan up Ash laughing hysterically. This is secondhand embarrassment at its peak. Pffffft. 

Ash, please.

Poor Eiji. Pffffffffffffffft.

Marvin, you are honestly dumber than a bag of bricks. Beautiful wounded gazelle gambit, Ash. I love how Skipper is jumping with excitement, cheering Ash on, and Eiji’s holding himself like he needs protection from the latent gross that emanates from Marvin constantly.

*side whispers* This is it.

The turning point.

*blows kisses at Mappa* GORGEOUS.

I’m breaking things up a bit since I’m just. Full of feelings. Eiji making a decision, inspired by Ash. Skip automatically assuming Eiji’s making a Last Stand, because that’s what he is: a fighter to the last. 

But Eiji is a civilian, and he doesn’t fight the way Skip does. 

And this is beautifully animated, and it definitely shows Eiji’s resolve and determination... but it bugs me.

Because they gave one of Eiji’s lines to Skip.

They turned a line that showed Eiji’s determination, his acknowledgement that he could severely injure himself --could even cripple himself --but he was willing to bet it all on a chance, and made it into an argument Skipper has against Eiji’s Hail Mary decision. 

And I hate it.

I really love the soundtrack they use, though. Nice.

How the cat fell in love with the bird.

Seriously, look at those colors? Look at that rainbow effect while Eiji’s in the sky. The textures. *sends all the kisses Mappa’s way*

Eiji... what about your bleeding. I mean, yes, run for help, but also: what if you pass out before you get help? A quick tourniquet, please!

He did indeed. It was beautiful.

Shorteeeeeeeeeeeeeeeer. 

HIS TINY SATISFIED SMIRK.

I AM TOTALLY UNBIASED. IT’S NOT LIKE I LOVE SHORTER A RIDICULOUS, LOPSIDED AMOUNT. WHAT LIES ARE YOU SPREADING. *cries* I just love Shorter so much.

More smartphones trying to save the day.

And again. No more phone booths!

Seriously, I suspect I will forever be smitten. Muwah. Gorgeous. Muwah Muwah.

Finally! Plotty things! And why automatically suspect Ash, Charlie?? You trusted him enough to let him near civvies but you automatically suspect him when Golzine’s up to something sketchy? 

Oh, Ibe. You’re gonna have white hair soon, Eiji is gonna make you worry lots.

I know you are, Eiji. Q AQ

Nice, thank you Mappa! Now I know Eiji’s A pos. (Or AB pos.)

*wounded hippo noises* THEY ARE SO LOYAL AND DEDICATED TO ONE ANOTHER. SKIIIIIIIIIIP. AAAAAAASH.

CMSDKLFMLDSF. SOMEONE SAVE SKIIIIP.

Beautiful. The best part about Shorter and his garish colors is that you can always pick him out of a crowd. <3

I didn’t mention it last time, but I’m so happy to see Ash’s crew! Hi Aleeex!

Just casually taking snapshots of Shorter being awesome. That’s not a crime. I swear.

BONES! I think. I forget. I get their names mixed up. 8( Where’s the other one? You can’t be Ash’s power trio with just the two of you! (I guess Shorter’s there too. Q vQ)

Totally just took this screencap because I’m basically an embarrassing parent who likes to show of their kid. Lookit Shorter. Isn’t he awesome?

Nooooooope.

Nooo, no no no.

Marvin you idiot, Golzine said alive. Your Papa Dino? Remember him?

Nooooope.

For fuck’s sake, noooooooooo.

SOMEONE FUCKING KILL MARVIN FIRST.

Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. SKIIIIIIPPER. Q AQ

Skiiiiiiiiiiiippeeeeeeeeeeeer...!!!!!!!!!

KILL HIM.

Ash, what black voodoo magic did you do to get that car going??? You didn’t turn or put in any keys, you certainly don’t have the fancy electronic keys on you. What the hell? Did some lazy mafia asshole leave their fancy electronic key in the damn car?

ASH STOP LEAVING SHORTER BEHIND FOR FUCK’S SAKE!!!

I love how this implies the cops are on good terms with Shorter.

Shorter, did you even tell them where you were heading??? You’ve got a smartphone now!!! Use it!

Shorter...

Because you were stupid enough to shoot Skipper. All you had to do was not shoot.

CMLKSDFMLDSF. DINOOOOOOO.

Because people aren’t pets, Dino!!!!

Trust your instincts, Ash! Turn back!!

He honestly deserved worse.

Ash....

*sigh* I’m so smitten. That’s gorgeous. (Sorry, Ash.)

Jenkins and Charlie will believe you, Ash! But...

Obligatory corrupt cop Evanstine won’t let them help you. This is his jurisdiction. 8(

Oh, Jenkins. Charlie. You’re gonna regret it...

Another asshole who deserves his face punched in.

Is no one going to dress Ash’s wound? It’s still Eiji’s tourniquet there. It’s gonna get infected you shithead.

Fuck oooooff.

Oh look, someone who needs to slip on a pickle, fall, crack their head on the counter, and die face first in their own piss. That’s you, Evanstine! 

Please. Die horrifically.

Ash... Q nQ

Please don’t take it personally, Jenkins... Skip just died in his arms... he was framed for murder... and a scumbag just ambushed him with his past...

Cmkalsdmfklsadf. DINOOOOOO.

We’re so blessed, guys! So much plot this episode!

Charlie... don’t do this. Please... don’t.

Oh, Charlie. You’re so earnest. You’re still so pure. Q AQ

And Ash... takes after his middle name. He is jaded. He knows better. He knows Dino. How do you indict someone with so much money, power, and influence? He has judges in his pocket!

And Charlie...

And an intermission from my previous thought because boy howdy am I still swooning over these gorgeous visuals. *blows even more kisses Mappa’s way*

Back to my previous train of thought: ...Charlie can’t give up.

Ibe’s face, though. It’s the face of a dad going “son, could you please stop putting yourself in dangerous situations I’ve already gotten fifteen new grey hairs and I’m only 30 please don’t do this to me.” Poor Ibe. That’s exactly what Eiji’s gonna do.

Charles Dickinson: Poster boy for Not Givin’ Up, We’re Taking Dino Golzine Down the Right and Proper Way, Just Believe in Us Ash!

Noooooo, not with the emotional blackmail, Charlie! (Besides, as much as I love Ash, preeeetty sure Eiji was incidental. He was chasing after Skip, wasn’t gonna let Eiji, an innocent civilian get caught in the crossfire of a gang war, and at no point did he risk Skip’s life. He contemplated his own, but never Skip’s.)

What a cute bird. Q vQ <3 <3 <3

*clutches chest* Eiji. Why. 

Skipper... you will never be forgotten. 

DAMMIT WHY IS NO ONE HOLDING MY HAND??? I NEED EMOTIONAL SUPPORT.

THE FUCKING ART DIRECTION. CMKSLDMFOWEMFDSLF. MAPPA NEEDS TO BE ARRESTED FOR MURDER. MY MURDER. 

It’s okay, Eiji, I wouldn’t be able to, either... Q AQ

Seriously, how is that even remotely legal????

Fuck Golzine and his connections. Fuck him with a power saw.

*intense feelings about later volumes and how this relates to both Ash and Eiji* CMSKDLFLSDFJLSDJFOEWIMSFD. *strangled dying manatee noises about foreshadowing*

*lies on ground, emotional and useless*

Hnnnnnnnnng, that’s just gorgeous. Ominous, but gorgeous. u 3u <3

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaand prison wardens are also in his pocket. Seriously, Charlie, do you not see why Ash is the way he is?

There’s also a brand new ED, but I’m seriously emotionally drained after the OP and Skipper... It doesn’t really have anything particularly foreshadow-y or relevant that my dead soul can see. It’s lovely and a nice end to an emotionally charged episode. I’m going to just quietly cry into my pillows now.

<<Episode 1                                     Masterlist                                          Episode 3>>

[overthinkingfeathers]

@hollyand-writes tagged me in the writer process meme (thanks!), so let’s get to it. Even though Hellbeast 2 managed to briefly break my keyboard partway through this, so presumably he’s trying to prevent some kind of terrible, meme related catastrophe. 

Short stories, novels, or poems?

Short stories, short stories, short stories. I have no patience to write anything longer than a brief one shot these days. I occasionally dabble in poetry, and I’ve written longer form things in the distant past. 

What genre do you prefer reading?

At this point, I’m pretty sure I read fanfic the most. Outside of that, I find it’s difficult for me to enjoy any one genre; I want to like fantasy and mystery and horror, but picking books up randomly within genres doesn’t tend to work out for me. I’ll be like this looks interesting! based on the cover and blurb, and then two chapters in it’s all boob plate sexy bathing, and I’m done. 

What genre do you prefer writing?

Does fanfic count? Look, I’m a lazy writer. I don’t want to world build. I enjoy some parts of it, but the overall scale is more than I want to deal with. I want to make a cool looking map, not actually think about how rivers work. Also, I enjoy writing one shots, and that really works best with characters and settings people are already familiar with. 

If I have to pick a different genre, unreality. You can’t argue the rules of reality when reality isn’t the same. 

Are you a planner or a write-as-I-go kind of person?

Write as I go, mostly. I usually have a rough idea of what I want - usually a few specific sentences, an overall plot - but I don’t make outlines or anything like that. My most well received fics have always been the ones where I do 0 planning and haven’t even considered writing them until that day. 

What music do you listen to while writing?

I don’t have any specific playlists or even a consistent stance on music while writing. Sometimes I just keep whatever I’m looping in the background going, sometimes I turn it off entirely. Once I tried using one of those ambient setting playlists but got distracted by it instead. 

Fave books/movies?

Books-wise, I love The Hogfather and Good Omens. Movies is a little harder, because I legitimately forget most movies within two weeks, but Constantine is my go-to (possibly mainly for the angel and demon depictions, but that’s not the point). 

Any current WIPs?

My endlessly in limbo Merribela one, Sten directly after becoming Arishok, Mahariel visiting Merrill post DA2, Mahariel and the one time she tried blood magic (without being a mage)... My WIPs are numerous and doomed to never be released. 

If someone were to make a cartoon out of you, what would your standard outfit be? 

A cute dress and black flats outside of work, scrubs and sneakers inside. 

Create a character description for yourself:

Moving on, I considered the position of my breasts. Women would never die of jealousy, but the men didn’t seem to dislike them. 

CURED? Social anxiety claimant wears THIS in public! [12 Photos]  (The photos are all me, in floral, paint spattered jeggings, dragging improbably large weeds and rogue tree branches around the yard. Half of my hair is in a ponytail so off center that it’s basically a pigtail, but rather than commit, the other half is nominally held back by a bobby pin. Mosquitos loom. A sapling conks me on the shoulder.) 

In seriousness, a wash. Dress that suggests going somewhere nice but with untamed hair and no makeup that suggests staying home. Soft spoken and polite but prone to swearing and absolutely confrontational when pushed. Comes across hyper competent and intelligent but actually only remembers things to keep out of trouble and is completely forgetful about everything else. 

Do you like incorporating people you actually know into your writing?

Nooooo. I am super no about that. I generally try to not even know who voices the characters in games I play, because that means there is a real person attached to them (in a way, even though I mean obviously there always is - even without a voice, someone(s) wrote them), and I cannot do anything that even remotely veers into real person fic. And that’s for people that I know only as a concept, a theory of personality based on public appearances. A person I actually know? Jesus fuck no. 

Are you kill-happy with characters? 

Nope. I want them all to be happy. If a character dies in canon, they’ll probably stay dead in my writing, but I usually don’t write much about that. 

Coffee or tea while writing?

Neither. Soda all the way. 

Slow or fast writer?

Fast typer who occasionally gets caught up on a specific line and will stop for a while to rework it. I also works in spurts; I’ll go months at a time without publishing anything, then abruptly write and share three things within two weeks. 

Where/who/what do you find inspiration from?

For actual inspiration, recent personal experiences, mostly. It’s not necessarily always obvious what did it though (the Mahariel talking to Zevran about why he lived fic, for instance, came from a night I spent at a campfire in the mountains, because the embers and the smoke were things I hadn’t experienced in a long time, but you wouldn’t know that).

Otherwise, prompts mostly. Lazy lazy, prefer to have a premade idea (or sentence or feeling or whatever) to spark an actual idea.  

If you were put into a fantasy world, what would you be? 

I mean, probably dead. Confrontational dumbfuck with extremely poor eyesight walks directly into dragon attacking town while shouting profanities, promptly gets incinerated. 

Most fave book cliche? Least fave book cliche?

Yay equally competent characters caring for each other and falling in love. Boo heavy sexualization. 

Fave scenes to write?

I actually prefer writing dialogue. I usually end up writing it first, because it flows much more naturally for me, and then going back and filling in around it. 

Most productive time of day for writing?

I would love to say night, because that’s when I’m awake 95% of the time, but I feel like most of my fics are written between like 8AM to 12PM, bleary eyed and exhausted. 

Reason for writing:

Words fun. Explore new concepts. Flesh out scenes that can’t make it into a necessarily shortened game. Create art without having to draw, which I personally suck at. 

I have no idea how many people I’m actually supposed to tag, nor do I remember exactly who hollyand tagged, so a random sampling of people who can do this if they want: @carabas, @mikkeneko, @thejourneymaninn, @emberkeelty, and @deviantdragons. 

[professional-anti]

City of Bones: Chapter Two

Chapter Two: Secrets and Lies Clary’s drawing and experiencing some Frustration. And like…..ya girl I gotcha. I know the pain. Clary wishes she could be more like her mother which is kind of sweet but super cliché. The phone rings, and it’s Simon being That Lovable Dork™ and pretending to be one of the guys she saw carying a knife. It’s a little funny, ngl, but Simon…come on. Clary’s upset rn.

Clary’s mom was apparently upset they were home late, and we get this:

“I am the bane of her existence,” Clary said, mimicking her mother’s precise phrasing with only a slight twinge of guilt.

…That was her mother’s precise phrasing? Clary, don’t feel guilty mimicking that. Your mom called you the bane of her existence! This is just bad writing, y’all. Jocelyn Fray is set up to be this loving, kind mom…and she says something like that? It makes sense that she’s angry, like, fine, let her be angry. But Cassandra Clare has absolutely no sense of extremes. This is just a li’l too much, babe. Tone it down.

OH GODD. I forgot. Simon has a band. Of course he does, bc this can’t get any more cliché. Simon invites Clary to a poetry reading one of his bandmates is doing. So far, it seems like all of Clary’s friends are boys, which really urks me. Let girls be friends! Let girls take care of each other! A girl isn’t “cool” just bc all her friends are boys. A girl who says “I don’t get along with other girls?” Take care of her. There is some deep internalized mysoginy going on. (Don’t @ me!)

Apparently Eric is really bad at poetry, which, like, mood. They agree that even though Clary’s mom is mad at her for going out the night before, Simon’ll still pick Clary up and bring her to the poetry slam. Not so nice of Simon, but I get the appeal of dragging someone along to a terrible poetry reading. Sometimes you just need support.

There’s a picture of Clary’s dad over the mantel. Apparently he was a soldier who died crashing his car into a tree before Clary was born. Even someone who has never heard anything about these books before and is experiencing them for the first time would be able to tell that Clary has clearly been fed a pack of lies. Apparently Jocelyn never talks about him but has a box with his initials (JC, gonna come up later 100%) with his medals inside.

Clary hears someone coming and grabs a book bc “Jocelyn recognized reading as a sacred pastime and wouldn’t interrupt Clary in the middle of a book, even to yell at her.” Ummmm,,,, sounds like a bad policy, Jocie. Clary should have walked in the night before with a book glued to her face.

A guy called Luke comes in holding folded cardboard boxes, and all I can picture is this:

And that’s how we’ll be thinking of Luke from now on. There’s some dumb background info:

“Hey, Un—hey, Luke,” she said. He’d asked her to stop calling him Uncle Luke about a year ago, claiming that it made him feel old, and anyway reminded him of Uncle Tom’s Cabin. Besides, he’d remind her gently, he wasn’t really her uncle, just a close friend of her mother’s who’d known her all her life.

I’M SCREAMING. This is bad writing, folks. This is bad writing. Have any of you guys braved the steaming shit pile that is Handbook for Mortals? This reminds me of that. Totally unnecessary detail that just detracts from the action. Besides being unnecessary, it’s really fucking awkward. Nobody talks like that. “Hi, Uncle Luke!” “Don’t call me that. That reminds me of Uncle Tom’s Cabin, which for some reason Cassandra Clare won’t italicize. Besides, I’m not really your uncle, just a close friend of your mother’s who’s known you all your life.” Umm, Luke??? That’s what people call close friends of their parent’s. It’s a known thing that people do. Also, most people do not think of Uncle Tom’s Cabin after hearing “Uncle Luke”. So calm down, Uncle Luke.

There’s some banter. Apparently Clary’s mom is parking the truck. (Do you guys know how hard it is for me not to type Clare instead of Clary?? It keeps happening.)

Apparently the book Clary grabbed from the side-table was The Golden Bough. Now, spoiler alert: Jocelyn has had Clary’s memories of magic all wiped, which I know from the first time I read this hell book. So why would she purposely put books about mythology and magic in the house??????

Clary asks Luke if he’s ever seen something no one else could see, and he reacts totally unsuspiciously by dropping his tape gun. He spews some bullshit about hallucinating being okay bc she’s “an artist” and “sees the world in ways that other people don’t.”

Jocelyn walks in, and ofc, she’s super gorgeous blah blah blah. This happens:

People always told Clary that she looked like her mother, but she couldn’t see it herself. The only thing that was similar about them was their figures: They were both slender, with small chests and narrow hips. She knew she wasn’t beautiful like her mother was. To be beautiful you had to be willowy and tall. When you were as short as Clary was, just over five feet, you were cute. Not pretty or beautiful, but cute. Throw in carroty hair and a face full of freckles, and she was a Raggedy Ann to her mother’s Barbie doll.

#letgirlsknowthey’repretty2018!!!! Alternatively, stop being fucking cowards and let your MC not be classically beautiful. Bc I’m sorry, we all know Clary is supposed to be gorgeous. Her biggest flaw is that she’s short??? Honey, I am 4 feet 11 inches, and I’ll be that tall until the day I die (unless I do one of those old-lady shrinks). Being short isn’t actually a fucking flaw, Clare’s just pretending it is. I’m just sick of this. Girls have to be beautiful, but they can’t know they’re beautiful. And they can’t be beautiful if it’s not in a thin, white-girl way. Here’s what I want: fat girls who know they’re gorgeous. Girls of color who know they’re gorgeous. Jewish girls and Muslim girls who know they’re gorgeous. Alternatively, I want girls aren’t gorgeous and aren’t described in such a way that we’re supposed to know they’re actually gorgeous. I want girls who don’t pass judgement on themselves at all. I want girls who can just be without having to fulfill some vision of beauty.

Bc here is what we’re supposed to take away from Clary’s description: she has striking red hair and pretty freckles. She’s short and slender. She’s cute and pretty. She just doesn’t know it. Gag me.

Ughhhh. Clary’s also clumsy, her second “flaw”. This isn’t a real fucking flaw!! A flaw is something that is actually detrimental to you, okay??? When you say, “Oh, this character is clumsy,” you’re really saying, “I’m too lazy to think up some actual flaws.” And Clare’s been known to plagiarize, which is a lazy person’s sin.

Jocelyn drops the bombshell that they’re, um…going on vacation. Jocelyn, Clary, and Luke are going to a place called the “farmhouse” in upstate NY for the rest of the summer. As any well-read YA reader knows, this is code for OH FUCKING SHIT WE’RE ABOUT TO DIE THEY’RE ON TO US THROW YOUR CLOTHING INTO A SUITCASE AND GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE.

Clary flips shit bc even though she earlier said school is only a few weeks away, the rest of summer is apparently really long now. She demands to know what could happen if she stays behind. Apparently the only way Clare can show that somebody is startled is by them dropping something, so Luke drops some picture frames. Ugh, totally not worth being startled over, Uncle Luke. He says he has to go, and Clary hears him and her mom whispering about someone called Bane. From now on, this is Bane:

I promise he’s more badass than anything Cassandra Clare could come up with.

There’s some more Shady Conversation between Jocelyn and Luke that Clary is too dumb to follow, and Luke tells Jocelyn to talk to Clary. It’s really weird that after years of protecting Clary they’re just gonna argue right in front of her, but Clare does what Clare wants.

This happens:

The door flew open. Jocelyn gave a little scream. “Jesus!” Luke exclaimed. “Actually, it’s just me,” said Simon. “Although I’ve been told the resemblance is startling.” He waved at Clary from the doorway. “You ready?”

;lasdlajlkajldljl So much happening here. For one, Jocelyn screams. Why is it always the woman who screams? Why was Isabelle the one shrieking? Why is it possible for female authors to be mysoginistc? Why does the world suck?

But my main point is that I think Simon is supposed to be likable? But honestly he’s just coming over as a real douchebag, so jot that down. Anyway, Clary and Simon fuck off. It’s a little weird that Jocelyn is just letting Clary go, but as we all know, Clare does what Clare wants. Oh, and Clary’s super rude to her mom as they’re leaving. The usual.

Oh, God. Another wonderful Simonism. As they’re going down the stairs, Simon says, “Jesus, woman, don’t rip my arm off.” I love, love, love when a female character is referred to as “woman”! Hahahaha nope. Not even as a joke. I think it’s dumb and sexist and argh. Simon is just proving himself to be a real treat. 

We learn that Clary lives in a brownstone that’s been divided into apartments and she and her mom share the building with a psychic called Dorothea.

“Nice to see she’s doing a booming business,” Simon said. “It’s hard to get steady prophet work these days.” “Do you have to be sarcastic about everything?” Clary snapped.

Hate to say it, but I’m with Clary on this one. Also, once again, Clare shows that she really doesn't understand moderation. Simon making a crack once in a while? Okay. Probably funny. ALL OF SIMON’S LINES BEING THESE ANNOYING JOKES?? NOT FUNNY. KILL BILL SIRENS EACH TIME. I’M TIRED.

WAIT, THIS IS NOT A DRILL. I THINK MAGNUS JUST WALKED OUT OF DOROTHEA’S APARTMENT??? YASSSSSS, HERE WE GOOOOO. Clary does the annoying thing where she’s like “am I remembering something?” but then doesn’t remember anything at all. Anyway, that’s the end of Magnus for this chapter.

We rejoin our intrepid assholes at a Mexican restaurant where Clary is angsting about her mom and Simon is cracking jokes. Clary talks about how she knows nothing about her mom’s life before her mom had her. It’s page 31 and nothing interesting has happened yet I swear to God. Simon’s like, “Haven’t you see all those scars your mom has?” and Clary’s like “What scars?” which we all know is bc she’s been mind-whiped or something. Clary ignored a call from her mom, which is exactly the thing to do when your mom is acting erratic and scared!!

They leave the restaurant and Clary thinks she sees a doll’s wings flutter. Simon complains about being the only boy in his band without a girlfriend. Save yourself, Clary! You suck, but save yourself from the Nice Guy™ anyway!! There’s a low-key homophobic joke:

“Pretty soon the only people left without a girlfriend will be me and Wendell the school janitor. And he smells like Windex.” “At least you know he’s still available.” Simon glared. “Not funny, Fray.”

And then Clary gets even worse:

“There’s always Sheila ‘The Thong’ Barbarino,” Clary suggested. Clary had sat behind her in math class in ninth grade. Every time Sheila had dropped her pencil—which had been often—Clary had been treated to the sight of Sheila’s underwear riding above the waistband of her super-low-rise jeans.

(source: https://tenor.com/view/batman-donotwant-animated-gif-4668582)

Look. I am not a nice person. I’ve been known to commit lashon hara, which is the Jewish way of saying being a big ol’ gossip whore. But I would never slut-shame. And I expect better of my female protagonists. This book is just so filled with girl-on-girl hate. And I hate girl-on-girl hate. I want girls building each other up. I want girls loving each other. I want girls supporting other girls, not tearing them down. I don’t want girls who only make friends with boys and then slut-shame other girls with them.

Oh, it turns out Eric the poet is dating Sheila. And we’re on our way to the poetry reading. Great! I bet we’ll meet her, and it’ll be slut-shaming goodness. Clary calls Eric a sexist pig for telling Simon to “just decide which girl in school had the most rockin’ bod and ask her out on the first day of classes.” I am totally in agreeance that Eric is a sexist pig. So why, perchance, is Simon FRIENDS WITH THIS ASSHOLE? This is the CLASSIC Nice Guy™. They always have a coterie of sexist pig friends to show how Nice they are in contrast. Fuck that. Actual nice guys, who aren’t Nice Guys™? They have nice friends.

Clary ignores a call from her mom and thinks about how much she’ll miss Simon while at the farmhouse even though she’s been nothing but annoyed at him since page one. The chapter thankfully ends.

[lisatelramor]

Holiday Season

I'm weirdly enamored with the idea of Saguru baking. This is the second fic I've written with him baking... Felt like doing a holiday fic this year, so Merry Christmas if you celebrate it, happy Holiday Season if you don't, and may the new year bring better news than so much of this one.

Saguru surveyed the ingredients laid out on the counter, flour and sugar and eggs and a pound of butter all waiting to be made into something. Mum’s family recipe box with its dented corners and stiff hinges was open next to it. Ordinarily he would take what recipe he needed and shove it back into its cupboard, but there was an art to holiday baking, a process. Gran had always had a very specific order of baking her Christmastime goodies in order of what ingredients were used, whether there was a refrigeration period or not, and how long each batch needed in the oven. Mum tended to toss Gran’s careful methodology out the window and start whatever took her fancy at the moment, but Saguru had always preferred a more scientific—or at least methodical—approach to baking. It made the process go smoother and quicker and optimized resources.

He gathered what he needed to prep the mince palmiers first, turned back toward the recipe with a package of puff pastry in one hand and a jar of mince in the other and found Kuroba Kaito sitting at the kitchen table like he had been there the whole time. Saguru very carefully did not drop his ingredients, but set them on the counter with an extra bit of carefulness as he processed this addition to his environment.

“What,” Saguru asked, “are you doing in London?”

“You’re baking? I didn’t know you baked,” Kuroba said, sounding exhausted.

“It’s the holidays,” Saguru said. “Kuroba, why are you in my kitchen?”

“You see it was a bit of an accident and now I’m here and have time and hey, you live in London, so hi.” He gave a lazy salute, resting his chin on folded arms. He looked awfully content considering he was trespassing.

“You accidentally ended up in another country.”

“There were...” Kuroba waved a hand. “Extenuating circumstances involving keeping track of a weird kid and following up on a rumor and, well, here I am. You would not believe how expensive holiday plane tickets are.”

“I believe.” The real question was why Kuroba wasn’t taking a plane back to Japan already. Knowing Kuroba, he wouldn’t answer any questions directly though, and if Saguru even implied that it might have something to do with Kid, his insinuations would be deflected. It should probably alarm him more to have his classmate show up halfway around the world in Saguru’s kitchen, but it was just the sort of unexpected thing Kuroba would pull. Saguru gave a mental shrug and turned back to his baking. “Well, you’re just in time for holiday baking.”

“I can’t believe you bake.”

“It’s tradition,” Saguru said primly. “Gran started it, and Mum would be here for it, but her job has been a bit more hectic than usual lately. I thought I’d get a head start so no one would complain come Christmas that Gran’s ginger biscuits were missing.”

“What’s your mom do?” Kuroba asked. Saguru could feel his eyes following the motions as Saguru rolled out his puff pastry and opened the jar of mincemeat.

“She’s a psychologist.” Kuroba hummed like this explained things. Saguru spread mince along the pastry dough. “That’s how my parents met, actually. A criminal psychology talk at a Japanese university. Mum was studying abroad for a year in her undergrad and Otou-san was there as a secondary speaker on statistics of mental illness intersecting with violent crimes in Japan. That was long before he was a police commissioner of course.” Saguru rolled the dough, wrapped it, and put it in the freezer before grabbing a pot and the butter to start the florentines. “They talked after and got into a big row over drinks about whether criminal behaviors were nature or nurture. It must have been a good debate because Mum finished out her degree in Japan and married him within the year.”

“Huh.” Kuroba blinked sleepily at him. Butter, cream, sugar, and honey in a pot, chop the fruit as it heated, stand by with the flour and almonds. “Then they had you?”

“Eventually. After Mum got her doctorate and Otou-san got a promotion. They had rather different ideas about raising a child though. They’re divorced now, of course, but I was born and raised until elementary school in Japan.” Ordinarily Saguru didn’t talk about himself. He focused on cases he solved instead of his personal life, and that was as it should be. But with Kuroba in his kitchen and infiltrating his Christmas tradition, it felt fitting to give Kuroba a bit of background to go with everything. Kuroba knew Saguru the detective, but he never really interacted with Saguru the person. ...Saguru’s fault. He tended to see Kuroba-as-Kid rather than Kuroba-as-person as well.

“Why’d they divorce?” Kuroba asked. For all that he looked tired, he also looked interested.

“Cultural and career differences.” Mum wanted more than society wanted for her, and in the end she’d missed home. It had been an amicable split all things considered. “I visited Otou-san in the summer.” Ingredients combined, Saguru prepared several trays to pop in the oven. “How did your parents meet?”

“Oyaji met Kaa-san in Paris, saved her from a sticky situation, and swept her off her feet.”

“Hmm. Sounds exciting.” And lacking in details. It probably involved Kid. Clean a bit before the next bit. New bowl for the ginger biscuit dough, pop out one batch of florentines to cool and put in the next tray, repeat until done and pull out the palmier to slice.

“You’re actually good at this,” Kuroba commented as Saguru swapped florentines for sugar-spice dusted palmier rounds in the oven.

“Baking’s a science,” Saguru said with a nod to the kitchen scale. “Apply the proper ratios and required heat, get the desired result. Simple chemistry.” He nicked one of the cooler florentines, enjoying its buttery flavor. “And it is its own reward.”

“I can get behind that.” Kuroba gave himself a shake and stood. “Mind if I help?”

“Eat the results or help bake?” Saguru asked rhetorically. He held out the recipe card for ginger biscuits. “Start measuring the dry ingredients. I’m sure you can manage that.”

“I’ve baked before, Hakuba, I’m not going to ruin your cookies.”

Saguru pretended he didn’t notice another florentine go missing. It was surprisingly easy to work with Kuroba in the kitchen. He was quick to figure out what Saguru would need next and didn’t end up in Saguru’s way unlike the time Saguru tried baking with his aunt.

In no time the ginger dough was in refrigerator and Kuroba was measuring out flour for the shortbread dough. “Is it always so... streamlined?” Kuroba asked, waving his free hand at the neat stacks of finished baked goods and how Saguru had a bit of counter space set aside for each necessary step for each recipe.

“Hardly. Mum has the tendency to grab whatever recipe she finds first and make each one in succession. It goes faster this way though.”

“Huh. I haven’t baked since Aoko roped me into making a Christmas cake a few years ago,” Kuroba said. “That was...an experience.” He was very precise in his weight measurements, which Saguru could appreciate. He could picture Kuroba measuring chemicals for his flash bombs or smoke grenades with an equally intent expression, getting each ratio on the dot. “Baking’s not something that happens much.”

Saguru took the flour from him, blending it with sugar and butter mixture. “If it weren’t for the holiday tradition, I doubt it would happen much for me either.” Mum made him a birthday cake every year, but store bought biscuits were simpler to get ahold of with their busy lives than to take the time to bake anything by hand. Traditions were different though. Those demanded observation, all the more so since his grandmother had passed on. A way to keep her memory alive so to speak. “What do you do for holidays?”

“For Christmas?” Kuroba asked. “Not really something I celebrate unless Aoko wants to.”

“In general then.” Saguru turned out the dough and held out a hand for the rolling pin. Kuroba passed it to him without him needing to ask.

“We don’t really have traditions.” There was something flat in Kuroba’s tone, just missing the nonchalance he was going for. “We used to maybe, but those kind of stopped happening after my dad died.”

“Oh.” Saguru finished rolling dough to a stilted silence. It had almost been companionable until he’d bungled that up. Saguru almost wished Kuroba would fall into their usual mode of bickering and needling each other instead of this silence, but Kuroba just stood to the side, face in a neutral-pleasant mask and eyes tired. Saguru needed to fix this somehow.

The bag of pastry cutters had the usual Christmas shapes of stars and trees and deer and men, but there were other shapes in there too, meant for other holidays, and...yes, they did still have it. Saguru dropped a pastry cutter into Kuroba’s hands.

“A... four-leaf clover?” Kuroba said, turning it over.

“I thought you might appreciate the pun,” Saguru said. And it was Kid’s mark as well, a sideways nod of acknowledgement that at least in one way there was a family tradition of sorts. “It was meant for St. Patrick’s Day I believe, but it works well enough now on these too.”

“Because clovers scream Christmas,” Kuroba snarked. He accepted the cutter though, making a few shapes in the dough. Saguru chose stars and trees for the shortbread. The ginger biscuits could be men and reindeer.

They shared bits of dough scraps as they baked, a surprisingly companionable silence. Kuroba was still, as tired as when he had arrived, but more peaceful and less harried. He rolled a bit of dough into a ball and ate it, staring at nothing and his mind somewhere far away. It was rare to see an introspective Kuroba, as rare as a quiet Kuroba. Kuroba was energy and madcap chaos. Bright colors and flashing cards drawing the eye, always filling a room with his presence and impossible to ignore.

“Following a lead, hmm?” Saguru asked.

“If you’re trying to get me to confess to something...” Kuroba said, glancing at Saguru from the corner of his eye.

“At the moment, no. It’s poor timing though.”

Kuroba shrugged. “As good a time as any. No classwork to worry about coming due until January. Bit more than a week away leaves plenty of time.”

“Was your lead successful?”

There was the slightest slump to Kuroba’s shoulders, body hunching in on itself as if Kuroba was too tired to completely control his response. Saguru got another shrug. “What do you think?”

Right. That would be a touchy subject then. He cast about for something that wouldn’t ruin the somewhat comfortable atmosphere. “I went to see a magic show last week,” Saguru said.

“Yeah?” Kuroba stopped squishing cookie dough between his fingers to listen, head tilted to one side. “I thought you detective types hated magic shows.”

“It’s a lot harder to get caught up in them when you’re well aware that there’s a logical explanation for everything you’re seeing,” Saguru corrected. “That doesn’t mean we can’t appreciate a show.” He ignored the subtle eye roll from Kuroba. “At any rate, I was in the area for a case and had free time after it... I might have been feeling a bit nostalgic for Japan at the time.” He’d only gone to Kuroba’s school for half a year before transferring back to London, but it surprised him sometimes how much he missed it. Sometimes he wondered if he should just finish out high school there, but he knew he’d miss London too. There wasn’t a quick fix when your life took up time on different sides of the world. He checked the biscuits, found they needed a bit longer. “The magician was nowhere near as good as you. Your classroom antics were on par with his best illusions.”

“Of course, I’m one of the best magicians out there,” Kuroba said.

It wasn’t empty bragging any more than Saguru calling himself a good detective was. They’d both put effort and time into building up their skills in their chosen professions. “If you’re ever on stage one day, I would like to see what you perform.”

“Is that a challenge?”

“You can take it as one,” Saguru said. “I can’t exactly turn off my observations.” He took the biscuits from the oven and slid the parchment paper off onto wire racks to cool. When he turned back around, Kuroba had a grin on par to some of the ones Saguru had seen Kid sporting at heists. “What?”

“Just thinking about ways I could short circuit your brain into just enjoying the show instead of picking it apart.”

Saguru raised an eyebrow. “And I just said that trying to understand doesn’t mean that I don’t enjoy the show. Besides, what goes through your mind when you see a new trick? Surely you’re trying to figure out how they did it too.”

“Usually I’m mostly ‘dang, that was really cool’ and I think about how they did it after the show is over.” Kuroba brought out the ginger biscuit dough and armed himself with the rolling pin.

“After, during,” Saguru said with a dismissive wave. “It amounts to the same thing; trying to understand the mystery of how it worked.”

“Killjoy,” Kuroba said.

“Realist,” Saguru countered.

“You’ll have to come back to Japan sometime for that show.”

Saguru smiled. “Yes, I suppose I will.”

The rest of the baking went quickly and progressed into decorating shortbread and ginger biscuits with Gran’s icing recipe dyed in jewel-bright colors. Kuroba took an inordinate amount of pleasure in making the ones he decorated as bright as possible. He was artistic as was to be expected, and they came out pleasing to the eye. Saguru’s were less bright, but more uniform. ‘Boring,’ if Kuroba’s opinion counted. Saguru looked at them and saw ‘traditional.’

By the time Mum finally arrived home from work, he and Kuroba had decorated cookies spread across the whole kitchen table and were making a bit of a mess out of decorating the Christmas cake as Saguru found that using a pastry bag was a bit harder than he remembered last doing it at twelve with Gran’s hands guiding his through the motions—the cake was usually Mum’s touch. Kuroba had taken over and the mess Saguru made was quickly becoming something a bit more elegant.

They both looked up when Mum walked into the room. “Wow. Looks like someone was busy,” she said. “How on earth did you manage to get all the holiday baking done in one afternoon?”

“It’s not that hard to do, Mum, Gran always managed.”

“Your grandmother could have forced time to bend for all I know. She was certainly stubborn enough.” Mum gave Saguru a quick hug before turning to Kuroba. “Hullo, I don’t believe we’ve met.”

In a blink Kuroba was all charm, masks Saguru hadn’t even realized were gone back in place. With a flick of his wrist, Kuroba offered Saguru’s mother a flower. “Kuroba Kaito—or Kaito Kuroba since this is England.” He spoke with slightly accented English; Kuroba must have been practicing his language skills lately since the last time Saguru heard him use English, it hadn’t been anywhere near as smoothly. “A pleasure to meet you, ma’am.”

Mum took the flower with a smile and both eyebrows disappearing into her bangs. “Well aren’t you the charmer. Saguru, you didn’t mention you were having a friend over.”

“Kuroba ran into some trouble with his flight home to Japan,” Saguru said, “and since I happened to live in London, it made more sense to stay the night here than in a hotel. He’ll be taking the guest room.” There was a flash of surprise on Kuroba’s face. Surely he didn’t think Saguru would toss him out? On Christmas Eve no less?

“A friend from Japan even,” Mum said, eyebrows creeping higher. “Well, whatever the circumstances, we’re glad to have you. Mind if I help finish up the cake? Can’t have you boys doing everything.”

Kuroba surrendered the frosting. “Go right ahead.”

“Lovely. I’ll finish this up and we can have a slice for breakfast in the morning.”

“Isn’t that a little...sweet?” Kuroba asked. He watched how her hands worked, making practiced dollops of frosting to create a snowy landscape out of Saguru’s messy work and Kuroba’s more careful waves.

“I was thinking a bit more on the alcohol content,” Saguru said.

“The point of holidays are to live a little,” Mum said pragmatically. “Why not have dessert to start the day? Or we could have some of your biscuits. Very nice decorating by the way. Bright. I can tell Saguru didn’t mix the colors this year.” She gave Kuroba a grin and a wink and started sculpting tiny snowmen.

“Boozy cake,” Kuroba said, eying the cake with new appreciation. “That’s a tradition I could get behind. Sounds a lot more fun than strawberry cream cake or a cake roll.”

“It’s funny how two of the traditional desserts require taking as much candied fruit and nuts as you can stuff into a confection and dousing it in copious amounts of alcohol,” Saguru said drily. “For the record, it’s peach brandy, and no, we don’t make it strong enough to get drunk off a slice of it.”

“Dang, a missed opportunity,” Kuroba deadpanned.

Mum laughed. “I like this one, Saguru, you’ll have to invite him back.”

“Of course.” He...wouldn’t mind Kuroba returning. This had been nice.

“Don’t worry about the last of the dishes,” Mum said with a nod at the few Saguru hadn’t cleaned up as he went. “I can do them. Go relax since you did all this work.” Said the woman who worked a ten hour day today, Saguru thought, but Mum did like frosting the cake and he knew the power of small, mindless tasks to unwind after a long day. “And Kuroba, you’re welcome here as long as you need to stay, ok?”

“Thanks.”

Saguru meant to leave Kuroba at the guest room, let him get the rest he clearly needs, but instead found himself lingering awkwardly in the doorway after pointing out where Kuroba could find things he might need.

Kuroba looked back at him, not seeming to feel that same awkwardness or uncertainty of what, exactly, they were—friends? Rivals? Acquaintances? He looked like he was trying to will Saguru’s motives from him by power of his gaze alone, and wasn’t that something of a role reversal.

Saguru cleared his throat. “You...probably could use some rest. I’ll just be—”

“Hakuba,” Kuroba said, cutting him off. “Why did you go back to London?”

Saguru blinked, startled. “Why?”

“You went through the trouble of transferring schools and getting into the police and everything,” Kuroba said. “Seems like a lot of effort just to chase Kid for a few months.”

There were no emotions slipping past Kuroba’s masks now, whatever relaxed state of mind he had had was lost when Mum arrived. When Saguru was in Japan, his life had been taken up by Nakamori’s loud, vicious enthusiasm as he chased Kid in the evenings and days spent in class observing Kuroba laughing, Kuroba flirting with Aoko, Kuroba avoiding Koizumi, Kuroba hiding the depth of his brilliance in flashy smiles and flashy tricks. He’d seen Kuroba joyful, jealous, angry, and nervous. He’d seen Kid triumphant and gloating and seen him pale with fear and regret. There was a phone call on a Paris morning and a lone glove hidden at the scene of a crime. Most people thought arrogance was Saguru’s biggest flaw as a detective, but Saguru knew it was too much empathy. He avoided most serial crime, worked murders because it was generally easier to have sympathy for the victim than the killer, and Kid had always been careful not to harm the officers that chased him, tried to keep property damage to a minimum, and almost always returned what he took. He might not know what Kid was trying to accomplish, but he knew it was something Kid felt deeply in enough to make a target of himself even if it sometimes terrified him. He knew Kuroba enough to say he was not a bad person.

Saguru looked away. “I never intended to stay in Japan,” he said, an honest answer if not a complete one. “And I had obligations here to fulfil.”

“Like baking holiday cookies.”

A tiny smile crossed his face without him meaning to. “Yes, like holiday baking.”

“Hmm,” Kuroba hummed like he didn’t believe that was all but he wasn’t going to push it. “Would you really invite me back?”

“Yes,” Saguru said. There was no hesitation in that at least. “I don’t mind you being here.”

“Don’t mind,” Kuroba parroted, sarcastic and slow. “Ringing endorsement that you want me here.”

Saguru rolled his eyes. “Fine. I enjoyed baking with you and would enjoy doing something similar again should the occasion arise.”

The mask split into a smile—a real one so far as Saguru could tell. “Cool. Thanks for the room. I am going to go pass out now.”

There was an awkward pause before Saguru realized he was still standing in the doorway. He stepped back. “Goodnight, Kuroba.”

“Night, Hakuba.” Kuroba waved and shut the door.

Saguru wandered back down to Mum.

“Not spending time with your friend?” she asked. She was working her way through dishes now, the cake fully frosted with little details added on with nonpareils and gel icing. Two smiling snowmen surrounded by flowers made of snow.

“I believe he’s tired.”

“Hmm.” The soothing clink of dishes and the hiss of water from the faucet. Familiar background noises in a kitchen filled with Kuroba’s unfamiliarly-bright frosted biscuits. “Are the clovers a pun on his name?” Mum asked, a nod to the unconventional shape for the season.

“I thought it might amuse him.”

“He seems nice enough, though I don’t think he trusts me.” She kept washing dishes, not giving Saguru and facial cues to draw from. “He’s very good at hiding what he’s feeling, isn’t he? If I hadn’t glanced around the corner before I entered the room, I wouldn’t have noticed.”

“Yes. He is good at that.” Saguru sat at the table. Mum rinsed the last dish, setting it on the drain board and wiped her hands dry.

“So one of your Japanese classmates just happens to be in London.”

“A pleasant surprise.”

“I think you mentioned a Kuroba before.”

“I may have.”

Mum planted her hands on her hips. “Saguru...”

Saguru rubbed his forehead. “I didn’t press for details. He showed up and I wasn’t going to turn him away.”

“It would be a bit rude at Christmas,” Mum said and he wasn’t sure if it was straight sincerity or subtle sarcasm. She sighed. “Well, he is welcome, whatever his reasons. And he’s welcome at the family party tomorrow as well if he sticks around.”

“Thank you.”

Mum patted his cheek affectionately. “Now, I can’t believe you didn’t leave any baking for me!”

Saguru huffed. “If I didn’t the baking, you’d still be baking by Christmas.”

“A bit of midnight baking never hurt anyone.”

“Last year you were at it at three in the morning.”

“Saguru, if you say I have poor time management skills again...”

Saguru gave her his best innocent look. It wouldn’t have fooled him, let alone his mother. The hand on his cheek became a light swat to the back of his head and he ducked with it, laughing. They talked about their day until it was time for bed, snitching biscuits to munch on without guilt. Holidays were for indulging.

There was no light on in Kuroba’s room showing in the crack under the door when Saguru passed the guest room. He said a quiet goodnight in its direction all the same.

*

In the morning, Saguru couldn’t say he was surprised to find the guest room empty. Everything was neatly folded back in place as if no one had ever been there, except for a used towel where Kuroba must have made use of the shower. Downstairs there were a handful of biscuits missing and a tiny, presumptuous sliver taken from the Christmas cake that had been filled in with icing to the point where it was almost unnoticeable. On the counter was a note on the nice stationary they had stashed in the guest room’s desk and another one of Kuroba’s pretty paper roses.

Hakuba,

Thanks for letting me spend the night and crash your baking. You’re not so bad after all. Sorry to up and leave without saying goodbye, but I had a plane to catch early in the morning. Funnily, Christmas Day tickets cost a lot less than Christmas Eve. Tell your mom thanks for me as well, and that that cake is good—very alcoholic and different, but good. I looked Christmas cakes up on my phone and wow, didn’t know aged cakes were a thing. Anyway, if I’m ever in London again let’s meet up. And if you’re in Japan and ever need somewhere to sleep that isn’t your home, I have a guest room too.

Merry Christmas!

It was signed with a little clover doodle. It felt like he should be comparing handwriting with Kid’s heist notes. On the back was a post script, written in cramped Japanese that Saguru had to squint at to read.

Check in the electric kettle. This is still not a confession.

Saguru checked the kettle.

There was a gemstone there, a sapphire set in delicate golden filigree. It wasn’t anything Saguru had heard reported stolen, and was willing to bet he would hear about in the next few days.

Really, now, Kuroba wasn’t even trying to pretend at all. A tiny irrational part of him felt a bit warm at the thought that he had a bit of Kuroba’s trust. Saguru pocketed the gem and scribbled out the message in Japanese on the back. It might take Mum a bit longer to read, but she was still fluent in Japanese.

Not a bit too soon, it seemed because Mum slouched into the kitchen, in full disarray as she always was before her first cup of tea. “No Kuroba?” she asked, blinking around the room sleepily.

Saguru held up the note. “It seemed he had a plane to catch.”

“Ah. I’d have sent him off with something if I knew.”

Saguru would wait until she noticed the missing sliver of cake to pass along Kuroba’s message.

“Happy Christmas,” Mum said on her way to fill up the electric kettle—if Mum had been the one to wake up first.... It was just like Kuroba to have luck in his favor.

“Happy Christmas.”

Perhaps, Saguru thought giving the note in his hand one last glance, he would have to have another trip to Japan before his usual one in the summer. Just to visit.

It couldn’t hurt to check in on what Kid was doing either.

Saguru smiled and tucked the note away.

[houseofvans]

SKETCHY BEHAVIORS | Jennifer Parks (Portland, OR)

We’ve been following the magical and mystical artwork of Portland artist Jennifer Parks whose drawings of witches, women, and woodland creatures bring a dark delight to our sensibilities.  Not only does Jennifer create these fantastical illustrations and ceramics, but also helps to curate and organize shows at the artist run space, Pony Club in Portland.  We’re excited to feature Jennifer’s art and talk to her about her influences, artistic process, and find out more what she’s up too in the rest of 2017! 

Artist portrait by Richard Darbonne | Images courtesy of the artist

Who are you and what do you do?  

My name is Jennifer Parks and I make drawings and ceramic things. I’m also a gallery owner, cat mama, part-time bartender, and believer of ghosts and magic.

When did you first come across art or find yourself making stuff? What it something your parents encouraged or were you always a doodler type of person?

I was always a doodler. I started drawing as soon as I could pick up a crayon. I think pre-school was when I realized I was sort of good at it and started to get encouragement from my parents and other adults.

Did you go to art school or take classes for illustration? What’s your art background?

I took art classes in high school, and junior college and that led me to the Pacific Northwest College of Art here in Portland. I majored in illustration with a focus on storytelling.

Your artwork has a distinct flavor to it that we love–not only is it filled with fauna, nature, but a female character often surrounded by magical and mystical elements.  Can you tell us a little bit about how your illustration and artwork reached this point?  

It was a natural evolution I think. I learned to draw girls by drawing my mother’s porcelain doll collection. She had a lot of these dolls which were pretty but also kind of creepy. They all had on fancy victorian dresses with lace and floral patterns. I think that led to my interest in old black and white victorian photos which then led to my interest that dark era of witchcraft, seances, and ghosts.

Ive always had a fascination with death and the idea that its not the end, so it just felt natural to start adding those elements to my drawings. Plus, at some point I got tired of people telling me my drawings were “pretty’ and “cute”. Adding some dark and mysterious elements to them made me feel more comfortable.

When I moved to the Pacific Northwest about 13 years ago, which is just surrounded by lush wilderness, I started including those elements as well. I think its hard to live here and not be inspired by our surroundings. They are pretty magical.

What inspires the imagery and symbolism that we find throughout your illustrations?  

I am totally fascinated by death, the afterlife, and anything supernatural. Ghosts, aliens, magic, etc.  I think there are so many things around us that we can’t see and I like to include some of that magic and mystery in my drawings. The world is kind of boring without them.

We’re always curious about an artists’ process. What’s your process like? Sketchbook, night owl, or scheduled drawing time?

I’m such a night owl. Its sad really. My best drawing hours are somewhere between 8pm and 3am. I will sit at a desk all day with coffee, listening to podcasts, trying to draw, but I really don’t get started until the sun goes down.  

What’s a medium you’ve yet to try and want to start dabbling in?  Any specific reasons?

I really want to learn how to do intaglio or lithography. I love printmaking and how involved the process can be. Intaglio has been around since the mid 1400’s and lithography since the late 1700’s… It would be amazing to learn such an old process.

Not only do you make some amazing illustrations and murals, but your ceramic pieces are insanely cool and rad.  Tells us a little about how you got into ceramics? What do you love about that medium that maybe you can’t achieve or don’t necessarily get from illustration?

I had been collecting these vintage plates and painting faces and designs into them for awhile. It was a lot of fun, but I wanted to take it to the next level and actually make the plate as well. So I decided to take a ceramics course at my local community college. I immediately fell in love with it. I had dabbled in clay before but nothing felt like ceramic clay. Its so soft and easy to work with. I took a morning class because it was the only thing that worked with my schedule and even though its so hard for me to be awake and functioning that early I found it very calming and therapeutic. Now I have my own kiln. If I don’t feel like focusing on drawing, I will just grab my clay, make some shapes, and carve into them. I don’t have to think too hard about the imagery. Thats one of my favorite things about it. I feel like I can zone out and just carve anything into them and it looks cool. Working with ceramics has taught me to be less uptight and less attached to my work. Im clumsy and break so many pieces after hours of working on them. All I can do is shrug it off and start over.

What’s your studio or creative space like? What would we find in there–what do you keep around for inspiration or do you keep it minimal?

My studio space is pretty cluttered with things. I have so many art supplies, frames, paper, old drawings, prints, etc. I have a big drawing table and a big ceramic table. I have lots of art up for inspiration, some plants, and of course a few cats running around.

Does music play a role in your artistic process? Does it inspire you or is it more of something that keeps you company while you work?  Can you share with us what your top 5 songs/bands that you are currently into?

I do listen to music while I work, but honestly not very often. I find music very intense and very distracting when Im trying to focus. Im better off having a documentary of some sort playing in the background while I draw.

You also run a gallery space called Pony Club where you support and show artists!  How did this idea come about for Pony Club and when did you start it and how has that evolved?  What’s  been the most challenging part of running a space? What’s been the best part of it?

I got lucky enough to be invited to join the gallery in 2009. Its a collective of 6 artists that work out of the space, curate shows, and help run the shop. It started off as a gallery run by a group of cartoonists who catered heavily to that scene. It hasn’t changed too much, except that the members are different and we began to focus more on illustration.

I would say the most challenging part is trying to run/manage a small group of artists. We all have our own careers and ideas that we are trying to focus on. It can be challenging to find the time focus on the space, promoting other artists, and taking care of other business-related responsibilities.  

The most rewarding part is being able to provide a venue for young new illustrators, printmakers, and cartoonists.

Who are your top 5 favorite artists (past or contemporary?) that folks should check out.

Right now Ive been drooling over works by Alex Kuno, Andrea Wan, Tran Nguyen, Saddo, and Bill Crisafi.

Lots of times artists aren’t just one thing, what do you do when you’re not making art or helping out at Pony Club? How do you spend your free time?

Im usually practicing witchcraft or hanging out in the forest.

If folks wanted to follow in your footsteps, what advice or what would you tell folks?

Make sure your in love with what you do, and that your not doing it for the wrong reasons. If your stuck in a rut, go outside to find some inspiration or try a new medium.

Never stop creating.

Tell us about the art community in Portland? Seems like a tight community of talented folks.  Who are some of your local favorites?

The art community is pretty amazing here. It feels like we are all part of this very supportive, very talented and caring family. It can be a little overwhelming to have so many awesome artists around you, but it helps to keep you motivated and doing your best.

Some of my favorite local artists are Mark Rogers, Christina Mrozik, Lauren Gonsalves, Martin Ontiveros and Susannah Kelly.

What’s are your favorite Vans? How would you describe your personal style?

My favorite vans are the old school retro looking hi-tops. I wear a lot of black. My style is somewhere between artsy, witchy, and lazy.

What’s your favorite art secret that you’d like to share with folks?

Its not really a secret but artists are really magicians.

What’s coming up for you in the rest of the 2017 year that folks should stay tuned in for?

I will be painting a mural in August with my awesome buddy Meg Adamson for the Forest For The Trees Mural Fest. And hopefully, I will also be learning to tattoo!

Follow Jennifer Parks Website: www.spectralgardens.com Instagram: @spectralgardens

[delicatefury]

Saturday plan!

It’s only a little after one. I still have plenty of day ahead of me.

Okay, so painting yesterday didn’t happen. Both of my sibs were home so it became “Stew and Great British Baking Show” night instead. I might prime the canvas today, though. I’m thinks an off white background and then something in lilacs and light blues. Something I can hang in my room (there’s nothing on the walls right now except a crucifix, and having just that up reminds me of when we stayed in cloister for our overnight senior retreat in high school. I’m not gonna take it down. It’s mine and my grandparents gave it to me for first communion and I’ve hung it up in every room I’ve lived in since, but still).

Today is for a handful of things. I was gonna get Pokémon Sun, but I realized that it’s on the list I sent my mom for Christmas (I literally just screenshot-ed my “to buy later” list. Also included? New black heels, the cat returns, a new windshield, yarn (which-no-one-should-try-to-buy-me-ever), laptop, and roundtrip airfare for Hawaii, etc. So, not an actual Christmas list) so I need to tell her not to get it and survive the yearly “why buy yourself something frivilous when Christmas is coming and your family can get it for you?” Talk. Mom. Love ya. But I’ve been putting off getting this game since it came out. Getting it is my reward for finally getting my bar app in and paid for. 

Anyway, today is for cleaning and writing and baking. So, here’s my plan (Warning, I seem to have gone on a lot of tangents today):

Writing and Drawing at the LCS. I’m already here, so this’ll be as soon as I get off tumblr. Working on... whatever catches my fancy, actually. I’m gonna try my hand at drawing the pets again. I know there’s a million and a half pet-oriented comics, but... I wanna. To be honest, though, I’m probably gonna work on TDPL.

Back home: Laundry. I’ve gotta wash the dog’s bed-cover again. When I started putting it on last night, the cat got real interested and started doing that open-mouth sniff he does, usually before he pees on something. So, yeah, the foam bedding got socked in urine-destroyer and the cover got enzyme cleaner and a second wash. If he pees on it again, there’s a good chance I’m gonna owe my sister a $50 dog bed. I’ve also got to wash sweaters and my sheets (I’m getting stuffy. For some reason, probably how deeply I sleep, my room is the den for the animals. I wake up with two dogs bracketing my feet, a kitten by my stomach, and my cat watching from the dresser. Only the cat is mine). I also have to get my room cleaned. My suitcase pretty much just exploded when I got home and there are clothes everywhere.

Baking! My sister wants chocolate chip, her co-workers have requested snickerdoodles, and I want to make sugar cookies. I love Christmas season because I can just bake and bake and if there are too many cookies? Give them away! I did forget to get the cookie press from my mom while I was home for Thanksgiving (she’s told me not to buy one since she has two. A modern plastic one and an old copper one from my grandma. There are pros and cons for both. I still haven’t forgotten that Grandma’s chintzy little 60-year-old flour sifter is still the most reliable and efficient one I’ve ever used. My modern one sprung apart in my hands), so no buttery little Spritz cookies until she comes to visit in a week or so (another traditional German thing that I completely failed to realize is a traditional German thing while growing up. I just thought they were “old people” cookies since Grandma B (dad’s mom) always had a tin of them on hand). Also, I’m pretty sure I’m getting a springerle cookie press for Christmas, too. There was a woodworker selling intricate hand-made presses at the Christkinldmarkt on small business Saturday. They were so pretty and mom’s heard me gush about them before, and she asked me which of the designs I liked (the Christmas ones, duh. The trees with candles, the birds trailing ribbons, the nativity scene...) so I’m pretty confident. But I don’t have the press now, so no springerle cookies either.

Right, this is supposed to be my plan for the day, not Fury’s baking corner.

Anyway, Between laundry and baking, I intend to clean and knit. Part of the reason why I’m lazy at cleaning is because when I clean, I clean and I do it right and that takes a long time. (I can’t not. I’ll be vacuuming and I’ll see the lamp on the table looks dusty, so I’ll stop vacuuming and grab a dustcloth. Then I notice the table is also dusty. And so’s the baseboard. And what’s that spot on the wall? Did someone spill melted candle wax? And is that a dog-nose print on the window? And next thing you know it’s two hours later and the room’s still not vacuumed). 

So since I can never force myself to spend a whole day cleaning, I tend to let my sister do most of the upkeep since her dog does most of the shedding and instead I mainly do groceries, budget, bills, and general errand running. And it bothers me that my sister doesn’t clean right because I know she was taught the same way as me and the rest of our siblings. Dust first to knock it all to the floor. Then vacuum from the top of the house down. That way, again, the dust you, I don’t know, knock off the stairs settles in places you have yet to clean and not the place you just finished. Then you can mop and steam clean and carpet clean and do windows when there’s no stray dust and dirt to resettle on clean, wet surfaces. But she rarely dusts and she always vacuums the main floor before the upstairs. I can see the dirt settle behind her as she vacuums her way up the stairs.

So I’ll be dusting and vacuuming a second time today. I don’t straighten up. I deep clean. So you can get me to really clean about five or six times a year. Otherwise my life is just sorta... messy.

I was thinking about getting a haircut today. I really really need it (bangs officially reach my chin. I needed a haircut about three inches ago), but it’s already after one and I’d rather get the house in order while I’m feeling... twitchy. Also, Advent starts on Sunday and Thanksgiving was last week, so I’m gonna blast Christmas music while I get stuff done. Christmas music and cookies baking and knitting and video games... I love December. It’s right behind October for favorite month. (If I lived somewhere I could get decent snow in December, it might get bumped up, so instead it’s firmly behind October).

If I keep at it and don’t waste the day on my phone, I might even get a good chunk of my office cleaned and start on that painting tonight.

Heck, if I’m really ambitious, I’ll order my transcript and get my driving records request in for the bar application too.

Busy, busy day. And 11 hours till I go to bed. Let’s do this.

What was first up? oh yeah, writing and drawing.

[scithemodestmermaid]

I’m going to talk about Pokemon Sword a bit, and you know I’m serious because I’m actually using proper capitalization.  Warning: it’s a pretty long review.

I’m several hours in and up to Route 5, and while the game does have flaws it’s still a good game.  That’s the short version.  The long version is going to be pretty long.

Now I’m going into this game a despiser of Dexit.  The only reason I bought the game is because this is the first gen where I’ve been at the very least content with all the new designs and because I wanted to see if Gamefreak could put out a good game without all the Pokemon before decrying them for being unable to do so.  And I know a lot of people have been attacking the game and every positive thing said about it, saying that the devs are lazy, and there’s no soul in the game, and the people who buy the game should just kill themselves because they alone are what’s wrong with the world, etc etc etc.

And let me just say, if you’re one of those people telling others to kill themselves because they did or did not buy/like the game....shut the fuck up.  You are not helping your side, whichever side it may be.  And don’t ever, ever, tell someone to commit suicide.  Especially over something as trivial as a game.  This is not singling out Pro-Dexit or Anti-Dexit or whatever; I’ve seen some pretty abysmal things said on both sides towards both sides.  And that needs to stop.   If you can’t discuss your side like a mature human being, then go back to your playroom and let the grown-ups talk.  

Now that THAT’S off my chest, to discuss what I like and dislike...

What I Like:

Visuals are leaps and bounds ahead of USUM, and there have been several spots where I’ve just been impressed with how pretty everything is.  Granted, the Wild Area visuals are a step below the traditional routes.  The trees in the Wild Area do, indeed, all look like the infamous N64 tree that was floating around.  But here’s the crazy thing, I didn’t really notice unless I was specifically staring at it.  Otherwise, it all just blends into the background and doesn’t matter in the end.

The new Pokemon designs.  Like I mentioned, this this the first gen where I have been okay with the newly-introduced mons, if not outright adoring them and calling them my new faves.  Impidimp line, Toxel line, Hattena line, Yamper line, Nickit line, Rolycoly line...all have stolen my heart.  The Galarian forms bear mentioning, as well; so far I’ve only encountered G. Zigazagoon and G. Meowth and technically Giga Meowth (I mean, I’ve seen all the leaks, but still, it’s honestly different finding them yourself), and they are just so fun.  The design team absolutely knocked it out of the park this time around.

The new Mons’ animations.  Yes yes, I know I know, all the crap animation memes.  But, talking specifically about the new Mons...they move really nicely.  An example would be Nickit’s attack (as seen here): after the attack, it deftly brushes away its tracks before settling back into its idle animation.  It’s such a small little detail that adds so much to Nickit’s personality.  There’s several other mons with little visual details like that: Yamper’s little jump after a tackle, Drizzile pulling water balloons from its tear sacs and tossing them, Toxel’s lil temper tantrum, and the list goes on.  The new guys look and move great.

The Wild Area.  Now, if you go in expect the entirety of Breath of the Wild, then yes you will be disappointed.  But the Wild Area is definitely a step in a neat direction for Gamefreak.  There’s a variety of Mons to find, Raid Battles to participate in, and things to just uncover.  So far, most of my time with the game has been spent running around to see what new Mon I’d find.  The area is a bit small, but there’s so much to see that it feels a lot bigger.

Camping.  There’s something so charming about sitting down and seeing all my Mons walk around and interact with each other.  Calling one or two over to talk to them and play fetch.  Enjoying curry together.  It’s so cozy and comfy, and honestly the only thing that would’ve made it better was if they kept actual patting in (but honestly, that’s such a minor thing compared to what all they did add).  But as it is, it adds such a nice, relaxing atmosphere to the game.

Hop.  Lots of folks say that he’s Hau 2.0 (and if we’re talking about a tendency to interrupt the story with cutscenes, yes he is (more on that later)), but I disagree.  Where Hau was easygoing to the point of aloofness, Hop is driven and determined.  He pushes himself and the player character to their limits, trying to become greater than everyone else and make a name for himself.  So strangely enough, Hop shares a lot in common with Blue: aggressively pushing himself and the player forward.  Only difference is that Hop tries to be polite about it.  I’m interested to see where he ends up.

Leon.  Yeah, I’m not beating around the bush here, he’s handsome.  Hot dang.  Bravo.  And even though I know it’s cool to hate on the fact that he uses a Charizard as his ace, the fact that he absolutely adores his Charizard is something I can respect.

What I Dislike:

The old Mons’ animations.  Yes, it turns out that they lied about the remade models (a AAA company lying?  shocking!).  But I was hoping they would’ve updated more of the animations like the other excuse they’d had for cutting Mons.  Honestly, I think I saw just one new animation, and even then I don’t know if it’s genuinely new or new to me (Nuzleaf’s Tackle animation is different than I remember).  The rest of it is the same old, same old.  And it makes the old Mons stand out from the new ones, and not necessarily in a good way.

CUTSCENES.  OH MY GOSH NO PLEASE.  WHY.  Why did Gamefreak decide to bring back the cutscene-heavy storytelling from Gen 7?  Nobody liked getting stopped constantly to read pages of text.  NOBODY.  LIKED.  IT.  And yet, here it is again.  And this time, if the spoilers I read are to believe, the story doesn’t go down dark corridors like Gen 7 did.  Heck, if those spoilers are right, the story doesn’t go anywhere (can’t confirm until I’ve beaten the game myself, so I’ll probably talk more than that in another review)!  So why these cutscenes?!

Dynamaxing.  When I was fighting the Dynamaxed Eldegoss during the first gym, and she used a move that did huge damage, added Grassy Terrain and healing to everyone on the floor, and did that several times in a row...the thought popped into my head, “Wow, this is stupid.”  How is what I just described more balanced than Mega Evolutions or Z-Moves?  Because it’s only three turns?  And why is the sound effect SO LOUD when they Dynamax?  Genuinely, every raid battle that I did, I’d get jumpscared by the Dynamax’d Mon’s cry.  Honestly, instead of adding a new gimmick every 3D gen, they should’ve chosen one and stuck with it.  Improved on it.  Not replaced it.  And especially not replaced it with this.  (As implied earlier though, Giga forms are neat...would’ve made great mega evolutions, oh but what do I know)

Music.  Now, usually when I play handheld games, I’ll listen to music on my computer.  But for the heck of it, I decided to listen to this game’s music.  And it’s...well, it’s no Splatoon 2 soundtrack, that’s for damn sure.  A lot of it is this really bland and forgettable trance beat, or it’s a calliope of sound effects mixed in with the music (case in point: the music that plays when Zacian meets you in the forest).  I know that Toby Fox did a song for the game, and hearing the song it’s honestly the best song in the game and he should’ve just done the whole soundtrack.

Pop-in.  The draw distance is a bit weird, and NPCs will just pop into place once you get close enough.  This can get a little distracting, especially if you’re like me and your reaction to pop-in is to go back and forth and watch them appear and disappear over and over.  To be blunt, though, pop-in is a problem many beloved Switch games have (I’ve seen it several times while playing Breath of the Wild), but I suppose it’s still worth mentioning.

Also, you can’t actually pat any of your Pokemon anymore and Rotomdex is no longer a character that you interact with it’s just a phone.

And there’s other things in the game that aren’t a problem now but who knows what will happen later on (story-related issues, Exp. Share, long-term Y-Comm usage, etc), but I guess that’s a ramble for another time.

As it stands so far, Pokemon Sword is a fun game.  It is no Sonic 06.  It is no Breath of the Wild.  It is Pokemon.  It is nice.  It is fun.  It is better than the entirety of Gen 7 in my humble opinion.  I enjoy it.  I think it’s a nice looking game, and it’s a nice time playing it.  And at the end of the day, that’s why I play Pokemon.  To have a nice, fun time with virtual critters.

[masked-disciple]

What is the technology level of the "duct-tape realms" in Ilya Serina? (steampunk, high fantasy/LOTR-esque, more advanced than earth, etc?)

This is gonna be a long answer, mainly because in order to answer this, I have to explain how the Serin works. For the record, this is based off of how it works in Fall of Ilya Serina- I don’t know what’ll happen in Starlight so let’s work off the timeline I know.

The Serin is a world of pure creation. (Long ago, it was based off of Minecraft. Five or six or maybe even eight years ago. It also has a nod to CS Lewis’ Wood Between the Worlds- he should’ve done more with that and he didn’t so I’m taking the idea and fucking running with it.)

Nothing stays in the same place. You see mountains on the horizon, by the time you get there, it’s a fucking forest. Fuck you, fuck your “cartography”. Shit moves around and it’s the portals to the other realms that don’t. There are specific locations, of course, they just move the fuck around.

It’s like- you make a puzzle with a map image on it. But the puzzle pieces are squares. They can fit anywhere, in any combination. There are little lights, though, on the board that will glow through the puzzle no matter what piece is on top of it. There are locations on the pieces- civilization, certain mountain ranges, forests, lowlands- but the pieces themselves just fuckin move around.

In Fall, it is canon that locations wander in large, wobbly, looping paths in the daytime and move towards the centre of the Serin at night. The Serin itself is kind of shaped like a donut- the sun sets and rises in the center, and the moon circles the outskirts. For these reasons, eclipses are quite common.

It is also canon in Fall that the Serin is largely conscious, if not sentient. It is aware of its inhabitants and how they are different from world-travellers who are passing through. If there is something in the Serin that it doesn’t like, you will know. Because it will take the problem and put it in your way. As many times as it takes for you to fix it. (That actually happened in Fall, too- Lusmos, Jules, Kinefira, Ophi, and Tarathiel were getting to Ilya Katayona and it put a mountain in their way three times before they went and fixed the problem, which was Lillith was stealing all the dragons meant to protect that area of the Serin.)

The Serin is however, lazy as fuck. It will sometimes mess with you and shove a forest in your way every now and then. But it won’t shove a whole lot of objects, like a city, in your way more than once. It doesn’t like moving more than one thing at a time to fuck with just one person or group. If you see the same thing twice and you’ve already passed it once, it’s because the Serin wants you to check it out.

Hence, maps are virtually useless. But then, Pale, why the fuck does anyone live there, and how? Well, they make do. In the many languages of the many species found in the Serin, in Jules’ words, you are less likely to come across a word that means ‘tower’ than you are to find one that means roughly ‘tall thin structure’.

Because the Serin, on top of moving shit around and fucking with people and being awful to deal with, looks differently to different people. What one person sees as a crack-like ravine full of trees just in front of them will appear as a river to someone else. What one person views as using large crystal spires to walk across is what another might see as walkways between old buildings made out of steel and large wires.

Jules explained this neatly to Tarathiel like this: It’s like 3D modeling. The models themselves don’t change, but the painted textures sure do. 

So maps and most directions of any sort are nigh impossible to make. In Fall, Jules found the formula the Serin uses to move things and used that, plus a general location network and a few other things and actually made a smartphone app that can work as a navigational tool for the Serin. Tarathiel uses this app to get herself to Ilya Taranisi to go rescue Lusmos in Fall, which befits the following cut from the novel:

I pulled out my phone and opened up Jules’ map app, to see what it wanted me to do. Firstly it started searching for a signal. The tip below the searching icon said “Tip: Get somewhere high. It’s easier to catch a signal.” Well, I was up high, so there wasn’t much of an issue there. After about thirty seconds of a cheerful “Searching for signal...”, it displayed a quick “Signal found!” followed by a “Connecting to signal...” A few seconds after that, it told me that it had found a signal, and then the popup went away, followed by a very Google-Maps like display. I noticed a search icon, and just to see if I could, searched for Ilya Taranisi. Jules’ app would probably save my life, so going after his god first seemed like a good idea. The only search result was for Ilya Taranisi, with two options: About and Get Directions. Hell, let’s get directions to Ilya Taranisi.

(Tarathiel is somewhat tech savvy, being from Ilya Tirana and having some adventures in Ilya Karina, homeworld to Maria Leuite and the solarpunk-style theme of pure science.)

And that’s how the Serin works. That all being known now, what sort of tech do the different civilizations in the Serin have?

There is no good way to answer this- different civilizations will have different resources and abilities. I’d like to say nobody in the Serin has anything like steampower or higher, since if they did they’d know better than to stay there in the duct tape realm that quite literally makes a game out of trying to kill you.

Most of the Serin’s civilizations have few trade routes if any at all, so they’re largely isolated from each other. Nomadic species are very likely to get wiped out with little trace of having ever existed. The ones that survive, like Kinefira’s changeling hive and the Maybo, learned to do so by clinging to their roots and not moving very far from their headquarters and capitals. 

Those two are actually two of the few documented civilizations- I haven’t stuck my protagonists in the Serin much, and those two are the only ones that have cropped up except for the occasional village that has accepted their fate and relies mainly on trade and worship to survive. (The Serin is nicer to those who worship the gods, if only because getting the faithful killed isn’t usually wise.)

Kinefira’s changelings are largely militaristic, and have figured out metalworking and some agriculture, though they largely gather considering their area is generally a forest to people, and always bears edible things. Winter does not strike the area too often because of how deep the forest is. (It’s like a lake, but replace water with trees. Elk as big as whales and entire civilizations in certain divisions like the oceanic ones- like the bathypelagic division from 700-1000m deep in the ocean. Forests do this in our world to a point, with different lifeforms appearing at different depths of the forest depending on the height of the trees, but the Changeling Forest takes it to an extreme.) They live at the bottom centre of the forest at the deepest point, so it’s very humid and very hot and their metalworking underground, below their fortress, makes it no more bearable.

The Maybo, on the other hand, are a friendly bunch who don’t really disturb anyone and generally just harass each other when they feel like it. This is the description I wrote for them in Fall, and if you want to draw it, be my guest because I sure as hell can’t.

The city grew closer, and soon, I stopped at its edge, in awe of the movie-elf-like craftsmanship in everything. And then I caught sight of what must’ve been a Maybo: they were odd little creatures, actually. They were about as tall as most halflings and some gnomes, but incredibly thin and short-limbed. They were covered in fur for the most part: their forearms, heels, and around their eyes seemed to be scaled. Their fur was far longer on their back, giving off an interesting look when combined with long, faun-like ears. This Maybo’s longer fur was kept tied in what looked like a ponytail, just below their tailbone. They had an angelic looking tail, but with fur instead of feathers at the end. It was impossible to tell if they had a male-female system like humans, but they, like most ‘fantasy’ races, weren’t almost naked.

(Though I should mention that immediately after this, the Maybo in question grabs Tarathiel, takes her to the elder of the city to get a spell so she can understand their language, which I very cleverly named Meyh’ktaio and did not include a guide on how to pronounce. Then they ask her about the outside world and she just fuckin shows them her phone and Jules’ app and her selfies with all her friends. They are mystified and I had so much fun writing that scene.)

The Maybo are among some of my favourite to write for: they have absolutely no basis in anything except maybe a slight nod to RuneScape’s Naragi in appearance. I made them and their entire culture and language up on the fly. In Fall, after Tarathiel returns to them after freeing Lusmos and heading to Ilya Katayona, Lusmos’ gifts to them for helping him and his group out are a silver elk that calls to whoever is worthy that can call it, and turning their God of the Waterfall into a person again so they can act as a spiritual leader for their people. The Maybe don’t really work with the Aethelian gods, as they’ve got their waterfall guy, but the waterfall itself is made of Tomian magic and they do generally follow his creeds, so they are regarded as Tomian.

I really like the Maybo. I don’t know where they might crop up next, as they don’t generally leave their area, but I like to think there’s a few out there who might be more personable and in the spotlight than Renmi, Nmenra, and Aushla, our two background character Maybo. (I have no idea what the gender culture is like for the Maybo, but I like to think Renmi’s a trans guy. Aushla’s the elder so she’s just Old Sage Woman, but Renmi’s definitely a trans guy.)

So, all in all, it really depends on the civilization, but with limited resources and the lack of reliable trading routes for anyone, don’t expect too much in the way of advanced technology. Kinefira’s changelings are about the most high-tech you’ll be seeing for a while, if and when we ever take a thirty-thousand-word trip through the Serin again.

(I like to keep the Serin as far from coherent as possible- the less rules I put on it, the more I can stuff in there. It has some young gods in there too, but it doesn’t need to have any real requirements.)

Though I feel I should mention that Ilya Serina is the real base of the whole project- not Ilya Aethela or Haridor or even Tarathiel: the Serin is what ties the whole project together, just as it ties the realms together. No novel I have written concerning the project at all hasn’t had at least a brief trip through it. It’s my pride and joy.

And yes, at one point I really did call it Afiroja. What was wrong with past me.