whatimpunsexual

[whatimpunsexual]

[whatimpunsexual]

[whatimpunsexual]

[whatimpunsexual]

despite what popular opinion may lead you to believe, some rocks actually do have scientifically-proven auras! Unfortunately, those rocks are uranium and the aura is cancer. 

[whatimpunsexual]

You have been booped by this empty wrapping paper tube.

Reblog to boop all of your followers with it.

[whatimpunsexual]

'this property says it has nine acres but those neighbours look pretty clo-'

oh.

ohhhhhhhhh no

[whatimpunsexual]

Folks someone just made the most amazing thing I've seen in ages

the eye pinning when they're excited???? sent me

[whatimpunsexual]

if you’re offline or away and i message you something (like a link to a meme or a picture or w/e) honestly just assume that i’m just leaving it there for when you get back and not expecting you to answer straight away. i don’t need you to respond with “hey, sorry, i wasn’t at the computer!” or anything. i was leaving u a gift for later.

[whatimpunsexual]

mutuals i'm coming over to be annoying and meow loudly

[whatimpunsexual]

I am a WHORE for “the love is requited, they’re both just idiots”

[whatimpunsexual]

do you think you have more men or women followers?

Only women follow me, because they can sense my gentle, deer-like aura

[whatimpunsexual]

myeh

[whatimpunsexual]

Poseidon talking about Odysseus

[whatimpunsexual]

into the finnverse or smth lol

[whatimpunsexual]

Jake is so real because if I had stretchy powers I'd be 100% doing stupid shit like this

[whatimpunsexual]

Me: Yes sir I understand that the office door cannot be closed when two colleagues of opposite gender are alone together due to sexual misconduct concerns but as an openly bisexual employee I have to ask if leaving two colleagues of the same gender entirely unsupervised isn't a double standard

Me: Like. I feel I should also have my ass covered if a same-gender colleague accuses me of shit, you know

Bossman: Nahhhhhhh it's good

The morally grey cathedral goblin that lives on my shoulder and judges the value of my kneejerk impulses: If you grabbed his ass right now he would learn such an important lesson forever but we don't roll like that bro

Me: (out loud) Okay

[whatimpunsexual]

This explains a lot about my lack of asking for help when I clearly need it