#also maybe overworking myself

[cordeliawhohung]

When will you do more parts of soft spot?

hi :)

as much as i appreciate the interest in soft spot, i just want to reiterate that i do work in health care!! i work 10 hour shifts, and am also chronically ill (the irony, really). because of this, my writing schedule is very hectic, and i also don't have a regular upload schedule either haha. i write whenever i am able to and post the parts as soon as i'm finished pretty much, so please be patient with me )):

if it makes you feel any better, i am at 5k words for the next part! it's just taking a little longer because it's mostly smut and that's honestly a huge weak spot of mine writing wise a;slkdfjs

but uh yeah i am just a little guy ):

[tenshindon]

still not over how modern db is trying so hard to gaslight people into thinking goku’s a meatheaded idiot who’s never considered mental training an important aspect of martial arts

[notajoinerofthings]

for lent i'm also giving up wasting emotional energy on people who have shown me time and time again that i'm not a priority for them.

[self-spaghettification]

they/themavos real

[sleep-nurse]

for some reason i just feel like the entire world is against me and nobody likes me i just want to sleep forever

[alwaysneedyforsir]

btw if any of you lovely folks want to help a broke college student out, i’d love you forever n ever ☺️☺️

[oflgtfol]

ok i think i've worked out a way to have all 3 jobs and only work like. 60, maaaybe 65 hours a week instead of 75. and i was doing 60 last summer anyway so i can handle 60-65

[lightblueminecraftorchid]

being sick as an adult sucks. wdym my mom won’t just automatically make sure I eat food instead of exclusively drinking Gatorade all day. wdym I have to ask my roommates to make me dinner. I have to Venmo a friend money to buy me more Gatorade?? I can’t focus enough to do homework??? I hate this.

[danielnelsen]

always fun to remind myself of the side effects of my thyroid meds

[hjemne]

I've been... Absolutely normal? After this breakup with the person that I really genuinely wanted to spend my life with.

It happened Friday night, I cried most of the night and a little on Saturday but then something just shifted and I've been like 99% fine and normally and happy since then? The only time the sadness has really hit me since has been thinking about how upset my (dying) grandma will be that she won't be able to know my partner. But otherwise? I got horrendously drunk on Saturday night, had tons of fun and was fine with a guy low-key flirting with me. Since I got thru the handover and sleepiness on Sunday I've been utterly normal, getting on with work, reading romance and enjoying it rather than being sad or jealous etc. The main stressor has been the number of deadlines I've had this week and trying to manage my parents' reaction and reassure them I'm fine.

It's not that I'm complaining I've not been truly and utterly crushed by the heartbreak, but I'm just weirded out by this reaction. I'm worried I'm bottling it all up and it'll explode later or that this is me sliding back into depression, but I'm still enjoying things and it doesn't feel like depression? Like have I actually reached that level of emotional maturity that I've dealt with everything (or most things) already?

He decided about a week ago that he didn't want to go through his early twenties having to factor someone else into his life plans. I understand it, I respect his decision, acknowledge that there's no use in trying to talk him out of it, appreciate the fact he told me as soon as he could in person so we ended the relationship still loving each other rather than growing apart and resentment building. I really can't stress how I've never loved or been loved by anyone like with him before and that he has been the most important person in my life for four years. Accepting that the life we were planning together has gone has seemed to happen so easily and it feels like something must therefore be wrong. It's helped that we haven't seen each other in person and haven't currently got plans to I guess because I think it's going to really hit when I can't be physically affectionate like before. But even with the distance I still just can't understand why I'm feeling so nothing about this. He brought up that he might want to break up in March and I cried far more than this. Have I been emotionally checked out of the relationship since then without realising? Am I just bottling stuff up without realising? I just wish I knew

[elirium]

Sorry, because of those people who kept spamming the static shock drawing. They should know better, take your time and try not to overwork yourself

No it's fine it wasn't that many people and they couldn't know other people already asked for him. I just wanted to let them know.

But thanks for your concern 💜

[caffeinatedopossum]

Sometimes I wonder if being raised in a cult gave me a unique ability to spot bullshit. Like at some point, I had to learn that everything I believed and everything that everyone around me believed was utter bullhsit. And the reasons for us needing to believe those things were almost worse.

But then once I left, I realized so were many of the beliefs that everyone else has. Supposed 'opposing' beliefs were never actually that different from one another. There's no reason for a lot of the stuff people do and even more bad reasons for doing other things. Like why is school the way that it is? There's so many problems with it and a lot of people recognize this yet dropping out is still seen as an awful, terrible thing to do- something that will set you up for a life of failure- even though that hardly reflects reality.

I could go on about this for hours but I'm sick and I feel like this thought still needs to microwave in my brain a little longer

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

[callilouv]

idk if i rlly am unable to feel intense hate for something or i conditioned myself into thinking that hating soemthing makes me even more of a bad person so i refuse to feel such things HMMM

[mermen]

was gonna try and pack more tonight but i feel so ill i can barely move

[xcziel]

.