#starting uni and then the last 2 years of uni where i took 10 units in one year then overworked myself doing my thesis

[danielnelsen]

always fun to remind myself of the side effects of my thyroid meds

[procrastinatorimagines]

I Want Us Part 7

Fandom: Chicago PD / SVU

Series: I Want Us

Part 1 //  Part 2 // Part 3 // Part 4 // Part 5 // Part 6 // Part 7 // Part 8 // Part 9 // Part 10 (Final)

Pairing/s: Sonny Carisi x Intelligence!Reader

Warning/s: tw rape, murder, assault

Word Count: 1,636

Summary: The Intelligence Unit’s last case with Manhattan SVU had them flying out to New York to track down an abducted boy, and had Dectective Y/L/N and Detective Carisi growing close in the process. Now, a string of rape-murders in Chicago has SVU boarding the next flight out, believing the suspect to be the same man responsible for a set of identical crimes 10 years prior. As the case unfolds, Y/N and Carisi are brought back together, reigniting the spark between them.

Tags: @the-baby-bookworm​ // @inlovewith3​ //

It didn’t take you and Carisi long to track down your suspect, your partner Antonio calling you back shortly after you drove away from the crime scene. The bentley was parked outside of the house it was registered, uniforms were on scene but there had been no one in or out of the house since they arrived, so you both headed over as quickly as you could. 

“Maybe we can finally put this thing to rest,” Carisi said optimistically, watching the way you tapped your finger absentmindedly on the steering wheel.

“Maybe...” you replied, shaking your head as you turned off onto a very nice road; the cars looked like they cost more than your apartment, let alone the houses. 

“What? You think it’s too neat?” Carisi guessed correctly, “I get that, really I do, but sometimes we get lucky.” You knew he was thinking the same as you, but you’d come to realise he was very much a glass half full kind of guy.

“Not this lucky,” you told him, pulling up behind the squad car parked down the end of the road, eyes landing on the vehicle from the security footage. “Not catch a serial killer with next to a dozen murders under his belt after a decade in less than 24 hours kind of lucky. We’re good, we’re not that good.” 

With a pointed look you switched off the engine and climbed out, Carisi following suit. He knew you were right, but for the sake of these women and Captain Benson, you got why he hoped you weren’t - you didn’t want to be either. 

“It’s that one, saw movement in the window but no one’s been in or out since we arrived, car was here already, matches your BOLO,” the officer first on scene told you, rolling down her window as you walked past. You nodded your thanks, still staring at the house. 

“You want back up?” Her partner asked, leaning over in his seat slightly.

“Nah, we’re good, hang tight in case we need you,” Carisi answered when you didn’t, too much of this case not adding up. Something was staring you right in the face, but you just couldn’t see it yet.

Carisi put a light hand on your arm, bringing you back to reality as he gestured with his head towards the house - it was time to move. 

You weren’t even all the way to the front door before it opened, your hand instinctively reaching for your gun before it quickly dropped, the person in the door not even a little who you were expecting as you and Carisi shared a confused look.

A kid stood in the door, probably not even 18, pale, face wet with tears and visibly shaking. You took a careful step forward, “are you okay?” You asked softly, noting how quickly his eyes were darting back and forth. 

Carisi noticed it first, pausing a little in his tracks as you saw what he was looking at - the tracksuit, the expensive trainers... the blood.

This was your suposed suspect?

“I- I- didn’t- I panicked- I-” he stammered, burying his head in his hands as he sobbed, “I’m sorry-”

“It’s okay, it’s okay,” Carisi consoled, reaching the boy and putting a hand on his shoulder, “why don’t we go inside? You can tell us what happened?”

He looked up and nodded, leading you both inside. You signaled the unis to stand down before following them in, highly doubting they’d be needed.

“So, Bill, can I call you Billy?” You checked, surveying the house with an investigative eye. Billy nodded, finding his way into the living room and taking a seat, you and Carisi following suit on the sofa opposite.

“You the only one home?” Carisi asked, looking around. It clearly wasn’t Billy’s house, definitely his parents, as was the car, both way too expensive to be a teenager’s alone. Billy shook his head, not seeming to want to speak.

He was scared. Of what, or who, you didn’t know, but you were going to find out. “Billy,” you said, making him look up at you from his hands, “what happened?” You asked sympathetically, the weight of whatever he knew clearly threatening to break him.

“I was out for a run, my friend showed me this new route so I thought I’d give it a try, I nearly didn’t see her at first but- I mean she didn’t even look real- she was like some kind of doll I didn’t-” his breath caught in his throat, Carisi passing him a tissue from the coffee table as he tried to compose himself, “- I went to check if she was I person, and then I realised she was dead, oh god she was dead and I got scared and I swear I was going to tell someone, I swear, but then I heard someone and there was this guy- so I ran, I just ran, got in my car and-”

“Wow wow, slow down Billy, breath,” Carisi soothed, both of you perking up at the mention of another man, “what guy? Tell us more about the guy.”

“I don’t know, I didn’t get a really good look, didn’t want to stick around you know? He came out from the trees behind the body and I didn’t want to be next- Oh right er... he was white, shorter maybe, wearing this white running gear-”

You exhaled sharply, clenching your jaw. You’d been so caught up... Why hadn’t it crossed your mind before now? 

“Was that... helpful?” Billy asked, you and Carisi sharing a knowing look as you rose from where you were sitting, unable to afford to waste anymore time than you already had. 

“Incredibly Billy, you did good. We’re going to need to bring you down to the station, alright?” Carisi clarified, satisfied you’d gotten everything you needed for the moment. There was definitely more work to be done, but you finally felt like you were getting closer. 

“But I didn’t-” He started, agitation increasing as he straightened up in his seat.

“We know that, we do, but we’re going to need to confirm everything properly before we let you go, get you to make an official statement,” you explained, voice getting softer as you gave his shoulder a reasurring pat, “we believe you, I promise.”

He nodded, resigning himself. Carisi began to explain the process to him but you were already turning on your heels and heading out of the door, your phone in your hand as you dialed Voight.

“We have a problem,” you told him as soon as he picked up, explaining what Billy had just told you, along with your conversation with Tate. Voight listened intently, waiting until you were finished to talk.

“Do we believe the kid?” He asked you, trusting you enough to defer to your judgement.

You looked back as Carisi led the kid outside, waving to the uniforms to bring him to the squad car and take him to the 21st, his parents were meeting him there, probably with the best lawyer money could buy if the house was any indication, but you didn’t think it’d make a difference.

“We do,” you told him, watching as Carisi made his way back to you from the car, “I know how it sounds, and finger pointing isn’t what we like to go on, but he’s a kid Sarge,” 

You put the phone on speaker, “Y/N’s right, he wouldn’t even have been ten when the New York murders happened.”

“Copycat?” Voight doublechecked, wanting to cover all bases.

“Can’t be, he wouldn’t have known all the facts, and even if we say at a stretch that he wasn’t working alone... we’d still be missing a mastermind,” you told him, Carisi nodding along to every word.

“Okay,” Voight said thoughtfully, “do we have an alibi for the first murder in Chicago?”

You looked to Carisi, “not yet, he’s hysterical, we’ve sent him back to you at the 21st and his parents are being contacted.”

“Okay, I’ll put Atwater and Rojas on it, they’re focusing on Lily’s case,” he told you, “I’ll get back to you when we know more, but for now I’m putting you two on Tate, I’ll fill Benson in while you do, and ask Hailey and Jay to see if either of the families know both potential suspects.”

“Copy that, thanks,” you signed off, putting your phone away with a sigh.

“Everyone missed it,” Carisi tried as you stalked off towards the car, clearly beating yourself up.

“I shouldn’t have done,” you grumbled, digging out the information you’d gotten from the officer on scene about Tate’s address. He was going to say more but you were walking with too much purpose. 

“Y/N,” Carisi grabbed your arm, stopping you in your tracks as you grabbed the handle of your door. You looked back at him, meeting his eyes.

Then he was kissing you, quickly and urgently, the force and surprise pushing you back into the car as he took your breath away.

And then he was pulling away, stepping back as you remembered how to breath, lips tingling and cheeks warm. “I just needed to do that, now we should get back to work,” he told you, heading back to his side of the car with one last lingering look, leaving you still more than a little disoriented. 

“Er yea, yeah we should go that,” you answered, more than a few seconds after he’d said it, turning back to see him smiling from across the car as you opened the door and climbed in. 

You’d be thinking about that for the rest of the day, but you tried your best to push it to one side for now as you composed yourself: “Let’s go have a another chat with Mr. Tate.”

[aaviav]

🎄HAPPY HOLIDAYS, GUYS!! 🎄 2020 was quite a year for everyone, man. i'm so glad i decided to rejoin tumblr and because of that, i got to meet some super cool people. and i drew a fair amount of handsome 2D boys!! things slowed down in the last few months but i hope i'll learn to juggle uni and personal drawing better soon. fingers crossed 🤞

there was this post where people mentioned the ones they’re thankful for in 2020 and well... i thought it’d be nice to give a couple of shoutouts myself. “you”, you ask, “the one who is terrible at words and also expressing their feelings?” yes, absolutely. (also aaa thank u to @/otonymous @/scummy-writes  for tagging me back then ; ; )

TIME TO TEST THE LIMITS OF HOW MANY PEOPLE I CAN TAG?

@op-peccatori nanaaaaaaaaaa ;__; 💖 i'm so so glad i got to start talking to you this past year. i feel like we can relate on a lot of things, and somehow a few short sentences always evolve into walls of text???? like. bruh. how. 💀 💀 i know i take a while to respond sometimes but getting to read your replies is a joy every time. hope you're doing ok and please give Theo lots of kisses from me HAHA  💖

@beni-draw-ikemen-please BENIIII you're The Sweetest Ever™ 🥺 i mean it!! you're also so genuine and v v fun to talk to, i hope we get to do that more often in the future! ; v ; thank you for sharing your thirst and wonderful art with us all. ALSO ALSO: don't forget to take care of yourself. OR ELSE 😤 sending lots of virtual hugs your way! 💖 💖

@scummy-writes we're both shy beans but whenever i see you around or on on the occasional messages to eachother, you're The Sweetest Ever™ #2 🥺 for 2021 (and beyond) i wish you more confidence in yourself and your writing, because you're amazing! sometimes u just gotta channel ur inner Shea LaBeouf and Just Do It! i believe in u!!!! 💖

@littlegrrl7 hi! i appreciate you and the things you make!!! a lot!!!! you're a fic writing machine, haha. yours were the first longfics that i read and honestly, your writing is so engaging in that you keep it interesting and it's also fun and easy to read and with a healthy dose of smut cough cough. thank you for sharing! 🥰

@dear-mrs-otome Mrs O! i might or might not have been slightly intimidated at first hahah orz ANYWAY our Best Boi venn diagram might have the thinnest overlap ever but thank you for the support all the same, and i'll also always BE thankful for Drained Dry which feels like a sorta ikevamp themed discord home for me 🥺 🥺

@maanawa HELLO U!! thank u for becoming my first penpal in years!! 🥰 for some reason u always seem like such a unique person to me?? if u put a gun to my head and asked why, i wouldn't be able to answer bc i have no idea, but like. i mean it in the best way 0: 👌  

@hideoutpastel HI PASTEL, i'm glad i get to interact with u a bit more bc of twitter! u are a delight!! 😤 also i think u already know but like. ur art is so ✨ sparkly ✨ and bright and beautiful ok. kthx #bless 

@yenanng i might not always reply or interact, but seeing your twt updates is somehow v cool haha. i hope you get to rest and work on personal art soon! i'm cheering u on!!! \o/ 💖

@nan-chi @weird-profiterole HI HI! 🥰 we haven't talked to eachoter much but you guys seem super genuine and fun, i hope we get to interact more in the future!! also your art is so cute i cri 😭💖

@mikotomizuki LEO HOES UNITE 🤝 🤝 thank you for being hilarious and bringing your tiddy memes everywhere you go LMAO. let's keep our fingers crossed for more amazing Leo content in 2021 🤞💖

@pseudofaux you are delightful!! thank you for all the support always. you're an angel and we don't deserve you 😭💖 (also hello ur writing skills? y e s)

@pickle-scribbles Faa, I LIVE FOR YOUR THIRST COMMENTS. SERIOUSLY HAHA. and i die bc of your masterful smut 😭 just,, thank you 🥺💖

@otonymous i've probably mentioned this before but your fics were one of the first ones i read when i got back into tumblr, and honestly? what an amazing author to start with. #thepowerofthirst 💀 i kinda stopped consuming MLQC content so i haven't kept up w everything you put out but i know that you're still AMAZING and also so funny and just. 10/10 man 

@tacogawa @savourthelittlethings u guys are just. so cool!!!!! that's all thank u for coming to my ted talk 🥰

@akirafanarts ​ hi!! i haven’t forgotten u!! hope you’ve been doing ok!! 💖

@meowlayn-art you are v sweet! your art is gorgeous! and your OCs are amazing!! 🥺 i'm cheering for you! 💖

@incorrect-ikevamp-quotes​ a lil random but like. thank you for your insights on a bunch of idiots under one roof aka the ikevamp boys!! 💖 and also for the Top Notch 11/10 memes. bless  🙏 🙏

special shout out to everyone on Drained Dry that i haven't yet mentioned, u guys are v cool ; v ; 💖

and lastly, thank you to everyone who liked, reblogged or interacted with my posts or just took a second to appreciate my art, really. drawing 2D boys is a joy, and i'm glad if it brings even the tiniest bit of happiness into other people's lives too! you guys are the best 💖💖💖

[winryofresembool]

Things We Lost in the Fire, ch 24

aka Caleo uni au

Fic summary: Calypso starts studying at a new university, but to her annoyance her new flatmate is a loud mouthed mechanic who also likes to sneak his dog in whenever. But as she learns to know him better, she realizes they might have more in common than what she first thought. Eventually, even the darkest secrets come out…

Chapter summary: Halloween chapter, part 2.

A/N: Yay, an update! I think some of you are gonna be happy about the characters that are being introduced in this chapter... Also lots of Caleo dorkiness (and canon references) in it! And you'll get to see if you were right with your costume guesses :D

Also like I already mentioned last week, this is the last chapter that I have written so far (when I started posting this fic I tried to make sure I'd have at least 7 chapters ready so I wouldn't have to stress about deadlines... and here we are now) so it is possible that updates may slow down a bit, at least if the chapter wants to become long. But I am still /trying/ to keep up with the regular updates the best I can :) So worry not!

Now, enjoy and let me know what you think!! Ps. somehow we’ve managed to pass 50k words already :O

Words: 4040

Genre: romance & hurt/comfort

Warnings: none

previous chapter / AO3

…

“Hi, you guys!” Piper, who was dressed as Wonder Woman, greeted Leo and Calypso first when they arrived, gesturing for them to come in.

“Hello! I was afraid Argo II had decided to stop working because you guys are late,” Jason the Superman noted as he offered to take Calypso’s coat and put it in a hanger by the door.

“I’m not going to lie to you, Jason, that possibility did cross my mind as well,” Calypso said, casting Leo a meaningful look. “But no, not this time.”

“We’re only 10 minutes late!” Leo protested, checking the time from his phone. “I was busy finishing something… and Calypso took her time preparing herself as well. She probably did her wig for like two hours.” He gave her a not so serious side-eye.

“I did not!” Calypso said defensively. “Yeah, I straightened and combed and braided it but that took me maybe 15-20 minutes so he is highly exaggerating.”

“Don’t worry, Calypso, we know he does that a lot.” Piper smiled at her reassuringly. “Speaking of your wig, though, you look very cute! That hair reminds me of the style you had before my makeover. You’re dressed as the mythology Calypso, right?”

“Yes, I am,” Calypso said, pleased that Piper had figured that out so fast. “I thought it would be fun to be a bit self ironic for once. I haven’t really had a good reason to sew recently so this was a nice excuse to do that as well.” She made a small twirl to show the dress better.

“That dress really looks great!” Piper told her. “I would gladly commission you to sew me clothes; it’s so hard to find anything nice from the clothes stores these days. But Leo.” She turned back to him. “I see someone hasn’t bothered to get a costume. I wasn’t expecting that from you because you’re always so excited about them.”

“No, you got it all wrong.” Leo wagged his finger at her. “I do have it here, but as I told Cal, it would have been too difficult to wear in the car.” He dropped his bag on the floor, causing a loud thud as it hit the ground.

“Alright. Care to give us any hint what it is?” Piper asked curiously. “Seems heavy.” Calypso wondered if this was something they did every year.

“I’m just saying that it’s inspired by some movies that united us three,” Leo noted mysteriously. “But that’s all, you’ll see soon!”

“My mind is blank now,” Piper said. “Jason, what movies have we watched with him?”

“The first one that comes to my mind is Star Wars,” Jason reminded her. Suddenly both Jason and Piper’s eyes widened in realization. “Could it be?”

“Oh no, Leo you didn’t!” Piper doubled over in laughter when it occurred to her what Leo’s costume most likely was. “I can’t wait to see this!”

“I hope you took pictures with Festus!” Jason couldn’t keep his poker face either, and Calypso watched their reactions with confusion.

“Don’t worry, I will show them later.” Leo grinned, unperplexed by Jason and Piper’s laughter. “Now, where can I change?”

Piper showed him an empty room where he could get into his costume in peace, while Calypso started looking around the house on her own. Even though the place seemed rather fancy, Jason and Piper had managed to make it cozier with their personal objects. A lot of them had seen life and were worn but somehow they still fit in with the newer decorations.

As Calypso reached the living room, her focus went to the guests who had already arrived at the party. She waved at Annabeth and nodded awkwardly to Percy. Even though she and Annabeth were friends again, she wasn’t quite sure how she should act near Percy so ‘reserved’ felt the most natural reaction. She couldn’t help but smile a bit, though, when she registered their costumes: Annabeth had a Chiton just like her, although grey instead of white, with some silvery accessories and a beautiful owl shaped brooch over her chest. Perhaps the most impressive part of her costume was the Greek styled helmet that was used in battles and that hid most of Annabeth’s curly ponytail. Calypso was quite certain she was dressed as Athena, the Greek goddess that according to her was the one she identified herself the most with. Percy on the other hand was wearing sandals, shorts, a tropical shirt, and a belt with fishing equipment and he was holding a fishing rod in his hand. Calypso couldn’t quite figure out who he was supposed to be, other than some sort of fisherman.

“Hi,” Calypso greeted them as she got to hearing distance with them. “You guys look nice. You’re Athena, right?” She asked Annabeth. “Matches my theme, don’t you think?”

“Sure does,” Annabeth nodded, eyeing Calypso’s costume. “You look pretty much exactly like how I imagine the mythology Calypso.”

“Thank you. Coming from you it’s a big compliment.” She turned Percy. “I can’t figure out who you are, though. You don’t seem like a Greek god?”

“I am, though,” Percy replied. “I’m Poseidon.”

“Ooh, so that’s why the fishing gear!” Calypso realized. “But I don’t think the Greeks had tropical shirts quite yet.”

“No, you’re right in that.” Percy shook his head, smiling a bit. “But I’m basing this on the version in the Peter Johnson series. That’s how he was described in it.”

“I didn’t know you have read that too,” Calypso said, “But makes sense. Um, the Poseidon and Athena of the mythology hated each other, though. Not that it’s really my business, but I hope you two are doing fine…?” She asked a bit nervously, not wanting to be the reason for their issues.

“Oh yeah, we are,” Percy confirmed immediately. “It’s just an old joke – back when Annabeth and I were reading the Peter Johnson books I used to say Poseidon is my godly parent and Athena Annabeth’s, and that just kind of stuck with us.”

“Alright.” Calypso accepted Percy’s answer, turning her attention back to Annabeth. “By the way, where did you get that helmet? It definitely looks fancier than most of the plastic ones you see at costume shops.”

“My father collects these things,” Annabeth answered, lifting the helmet from her head for a moment. “I’ve told you he’s also a historian, right? Well, one of his friends wanted to make a replica of the ancient Greek helmets with some modern machines and dad bought this from him. I’m not saying this is 100 per cent accurate but it looks pretty cool, in my opinion.”

“It does,” Calypso confirmed.

“You came with Leo, right?” Percy asked then, to which Calypso nodded. “Where is he? I can’t wait to see his costume; he usually goes for something that is way over the top. Last year he was Hiccup from How to Train your Dragon and he had made a Toothless costume for his dog. I’ve also seen pics of him as Iron Man. Yes, with a full iron costume.”

“I can believe that of him,” Calypso chuckled, imagining Leo in the said costume. “He just went to change into his costume because apparently he couldn’t drive in it. He didn’t reveal what he was going to be, but it does sound like something extravagant.”

“I missed his costume last year but I’ll be sure to have a camera ready when he shows up this time,” Annabeth said happily. Calypso was relieved that the conversation was going this well; she hadn’t known what to expect beforehand because this was the first time she was in the same room with Percy since the ‘incident’. Talking with him now, though, made her realize that holding a grudge wouldn’t be smart and he seemed to think the same way.

“I just realized,” Calypso decided to change the topic, “that I’ve never heard the story of how you guys know Jason and Piper. So how did that happen?”

“It’s a funny story,” Percy started, smiling at the memory. “Jason and I used to be the captains of rivaling soccer teams when we were around 16. Well, one time Jason’s team was visiting us but we were playing in an arena that had just been renovated so I hadn’t been there before. I may have been a bit late from our team meeting and I was a bit lost so I decided to ask one staff lady where I was supposed to go. Somehow she got our teams mixed up and I ended up in the locker room of Jason’s team. Some of Jason’s teammates said that my expression was worth seeing when I realized the mistake but I dunno about that. The funny thing was that somehow the same thing had happened to Jason; he had also been late for the meeting because of traffic or something and he had gotten into my team’s locker room. Well, after the game we had a good laugh about it together and ended up talking about other stuff as well and noticed we have a lot in common. That’s how we became friends. When we moved into the same town, we started training together at least a few times a week.”

“Piper and I didn’t learn to know each other until Jason and she started dating a couple of years ago and they invited Percy to some party where I went with him. To be honest, I was a bit suspicious about her at first because we seemed very different but eventually we learned to respect each other’s qualities. And here we are,” Annabeth added.

“Those are some cool stories,” Calypso said. “It seems like a funny coincidence that somehow we all ended up in this city even though most of us are from somewhere else. Like Leo is from Texas, I am from Greece…” “Speaking of him,” Annabeth had to muffle his laughter with her hand, “I believe we are finally getting some answers about his costume.”

“Oh… my gods” was all Calypso could say when she turned to the direction Annabeth was looking at. “You’re really something else.”

Leo was completely hidden inside his costume, but Calypso could practically hear him grinning at their reactions. The costume looked very much like in the movies; golden (just painted, not real gold, because there was no way Leo could afford something like that) plating forming a droid with big round eyes and an ability to speak lots and lots of different languages: C-3PO from Star Wars.

“Holy shit, dude, that looks so real.” Percy gaped at Leo. “I’m starting to understand why you spent so much time in your room the past few weeks.”

“Why C-3PO, though?” Calypso asked once she managed to put her poker face back on. “Does that have some story behind it?”

“Because, duh, it looks cool!” Leo exclaimed with a mechanical voice from inside his costume. “I dunno, ever since I first saw C-3PO as a kid I thought it would be cool to be able to build something like that. And hey, his ability to translate like all the possible languages is pretty neat. Me? I just know 3.”

“Isn’t it uncomfortable in there, though?” Calypso asked. “That thing must be heavy.”

“Sunshine, I’m always uncomfortable. But this was a childhood dream of mine so I sure as heck am not backing off now,” Leo said with determination.

“A stubborn one, aren’t you?” Calypso stated. “Even I have to admit, though, that you have certainly done some thorough job with it. Hey, I should take photos before I forget! You don’t get to see this every day.”

The others dug their phones up as well and for a while Leo just made silly poses while they took pictures, clearly enjoying the attention his costume got. Eventually he started demanding that Calypso should join him for the photos but she was a bit hesitant at first.

Leo argued: “Come on. Greek mythology meets Star Wars? You don’t see a crossover like that every day.”

“Can’t argue with that, I suppose,” Calypso said and went next to him. “Well, do we have some kind of story for Calypso and C-3PO’s meeting?” she asked as Percy and Annabeth waved at them to look at the camera.

Leo considered her question for a moment. “Oh, how about this? C-3PO somehow ends up on Calypso’s island - because duh, Calypso is cursed so she can’t leave the island…”

“You seem to know surprisingly much about Greek mythology, just saying…” Calypso noted while trying to smile for the photos, resting her hand on the metallic shoulder.

“I told ya, Sunshine, you can blame tía Callida for that…” Leo reminded her. “Anyway, I imagine those two don’t really like each other at first because they’re so different but eventually they learn to respect each other’s skills; C-3PO can translate basically any language and Calypso is good at all kinds of handiworks, which is hard for a droid.”

“And? What happens after that?” Calypso asked curiously.

Leo considered it for a moment. “C-3PO doesn’t really wanna leave Calypso’s island but he has galaxies to save with his friend R2-D2 so he has to go but he promises to come get her afterwards.”

“Aw, Leo, that is kind of sweet,” Calypso commented, suddenly aware of the metal arm that had snuck around her waist. “Does he… does he ever return, though? Shouldn’t that be impossible?”

“For a human, maybe, but he’s a droid,” Leo noted. “Unfortunately during a big battle he blows up badly but the ever so faithful R2-D2 collects the pieces and finds someone who can rebuild him again. And boom, he makes it back and lives happily ever after with his goddess.”

“What’s the term you use when you enjoy a fictional relationship a lot?” Calypso asked. “Shipping?” Annabeth nodded at her. “I don’t know, Leo, to me it sounds like you ship those two. Isn’t that a bit weird?” “What, why would that be weird? I’ve seen people ship…”

“I see these two have gotten into a full on nerd mode again,” Annabeth said quietly to Percy while they were waiting for the flatmates to stop their bickering so they’d be able to take the photos. “Not projecting themselves into their characters, right?”

“No, definitely not,” Percy agreed.

Eventually Leo and Calypso stopped bickering and Annabeth was able to take the pictures. Even if Leo was mostly hidden by his costume, Calypso felt a bit self conscious about the fact that these were the first photos of them together. They did a few goofy poses because Annabeth and Percy told them to, but Calypso thought she probably looked more embarrassed than funny in them.

Once they were done, Leo went to Annabeth who was going through the photos and bowed his head a bit to see them better. “Hey, these do look pretty cool! It’s probably just the lighting but here you look like you’re blushing to some funny comment C-3PO made.”

“Show me!” Calypso yelped nervously and took the phone from Annabeth. When she saw it, she could immediately tell Leo was not wrong; she really was blushing. “Yeah, it’s definitely those candles in the background that do it… And I think it’s pretty warm in here, maybe all the people here heat this room…”

“OK, if you say so,” Leo said but Calypso imagined that he was looking at her suspiciously through his costume.

Trying to get the others’ attention to something else, she said: “So, who else has arrived so far?”

“Nico and Will. I think they went to get some snacks from the dining room,” Piper, who had just entered the room, answered.

“Leo told me that Nico is Jason’s relative, but what about Will?” Calypso asked her.

“Will is Nico’s boyfriend. This is the first time we’re meeting him but they seem very good together. At least he seems to have a grounding effect on Nico, and he actually listens to him, unlike most of us. Um, sorry, it’s a long story, one that I should probably save for another time. Nico may be a bit hard to approach sometimes but he is a very nice guy when you learn to know him. Just… been through a lot. I guess like many of us here. But he seems way happier now,” Piper said, and as if on cue, they could hear some distant laughter coming from the dining room.

“We should start a traumatized college kids’ club,” Leo attempted to joke, and the others hummed in agreement. Maybe she did belong to this group after all, Calypso thought. If only they knew, though…

“This just got cheerful,” Percy said, interrupting Calypso’s thought process. “Who’s up for blue candies? Get them before Will and Nico eat them all.”

“I heard that, Jackson!” Nico entered the room without a warning. “No offense to you or your mom but blue candies aren’t exactly my thing.”

“Hi, Nico,” Percy greeted him, seeming a bit flustered after Nico’s comment. “You haven’t met Calypso, right?” He pointed at her.

“No, I haven’t,” Nico took a quick look at her and crossed his arms over his chest.

“Alright, in that case, this is Calypso Astal. And Calypso, this is Nico di Angelo,” Percy introduced them to each other.

“Nice to meet you,” Calypso approached him, but he seemed to evaluate her for a moment before he took her hand.

“Likewise,” Nico said finally. “I think Jason has mentioned you a few times.”

“Oh. That’s nice,” Calypso said a bit unsurely, like every time she met a new person. The lonely years still had a toll on her, and even though she liked spending time with her friends, meeting new people was always a bit nerve wracking to her. “You’re his relative, right?”

“A distant cousin,” Nico answered. “Yeah, our fathers are related, but I have my mother’s last name and Jason has his.”

“I take it your mother has roots elsewhere, based on the last name?” Calypso asked.

“She was Italian,” Nico shrugged. “I lived there my first years too. But now I can barely remember those times.”

Calypso noticed the use of past tense, but she thought it was probably better to not ask about that in the middle of a party. “Oh. I’ve been to Italy a few times. I’m originally from Greece.”

“What brought you here, then?” Nico asked.

“Dad’s work,” Calypso responded in a tone that told everyone she wouldn’t elaborate on that topic more. It seemed to have become a habit to her.

“Anyway,” Leo, who had managed to stay quiet for a surprisingly long amount of time in Calypso’s opinion, stepped forward and cleared his throat. “Nico, a little bird told me,” he looked at Jason, “that your boyfriend is a Star Wars geek. Is that true?”

Nico took one look at Leo’s costume and his mouth twitched when he realized why Leo was asking. “He is, but don’t let him get started on it, or else he will never stop. Besides, he’s not my boyfriend, I prefer calling him…”

“A significant nuisance?” Will showed up from the dining room, carrying a plate full of food. “Don’t mind him, he just warms up a bit slow.”

“Yes, this is Will,” Nico sighed, addressing those who hadn’t met them before. “Sometimes he’s a nuisance, sometimes he can be quite OK. When he’s having a good day.”

“Same back at you, dear,” Will laughed. “Did I hear someone mention Star Wars, though?”

“You did,” Leo said, stepping forward so Will could see his costume better. Needless to say, Will looked beyond thrilled.

“Oh boy, here we go again,” Nico said quietly before Will even had time to comment on the costume.

“Woah, that must be the best C-3PO costume I’ve seen. And yeah, I’ve seen a few so I don’t compliment you for nothing,” Will assured.

“Thanks, man, I did spend quite a while with it,” Leo said, high fiving Will. “Glad someone here appreciates good things.”

“I still hope you’re not one of those fans who have only seen the most recent movies and not the originals,” Will noted.

“Heck, no!” Leo exclaimed immediately. “The original three for the win! Mom and I used to watch them a lot… um, when I was little. She was a big fan. But the newer ones just don’t feel the same.” Calypso had a feeling Leo had almost said something else, but he had changed his phrasing at the last moment.

“You have a pretty good taste,” Will said approvingly. Then he finally realized he hadn’t even asked Leo and Calypso’s names before getting into the geek mode.

“So, who are you two? I already met Percy and Annabeth earlier but I don’t think I know you guys yet.”

“I’m Leo Valdez, and this is my, um, flatmate, Calypso Astal,” Leo introduced. Calypso hoped there was a better word to describe their relationship than a ‘flatmate’ but at the moment it was probably the best and the safest option there was.

“Flatmates, huh?” Will repeated. “How did that happen?”

“I was in a hurry to find a roof over my head so I put in the application that I also accept mixed flats,” Calypso replied. “I didn’t meet Leo beforehand because, um, that would have been a bit difficult to arrange in this case, but it worked out OK.” Calypso noticed Leo was looking at her from the corner of his eye, and she realized she had never even talked about that option before. The truth was that she had had to plan her leaving very thoroughly so her father wouldn’t notice and she had driven to Indianapolis as fast as possible, with no time for second guessing.

“And my flat happened to have a room free because our boy Jason decided to move in with Beauty Queen,” Leo added to that story. “It’s really no stranger than that.”

“Oh, right, someone must have mentioned that you and Jason used to be flatmates,” Will recalled. “I just didn’t connect the dots.”

Jason had apparently finished welcoming the rest of the guests because he joined the group in the living room. “That reminds me, I don’t think I’ve asked you, Calypso, if Leo still leaves his dishes undone and if he has empty milk cartons in the fridge.”

“He used to do that?” Calypso asked with amusement. “After seeing his room that’s not so hard to picture, but no, he’s been pretty tidy in the common area. Although one time he bribed me to do his dishes for him in exchange for some of his food.”

“It was a good deal!” Leo protested. “You didn’t have to cook and you also got to taste some Valdez’ sizzling hot quesadillas so I’d say it was a win-win. Besides, you didn’t seem to have anything against that.”

“Alright, I will admit the quesadillas were pretty good,” Calypso conceded. “But a true gentleman offers them without even asking. Well, other than that he’s been OK,” she told Jason with a playful twinkle in her eye.

“I guess he really is able to change his habits, then,” he replied. “At least when the flatmate is someone he...”

Before Jason had time to finish his sentence, Leo intervened: “Folks, do we really have to be talking about my cleaning habits in front of people I don’t know? The first impressions are important, especially when it comes to Supersized McShizzle!”

“We’re just being honest, Repair Boy.” Calypso couldn’t resist booping his metal covered nose. Apparently she just didn’t know how to not cross the line with this boy, she sighed in her mind.

“Is that all? Where’s the feisty Sunshine I know?,” Leo said in a low tone, so the others could barely hear his comment, coming out almost flirty.

“Shut up,” Calypso answered equally quietly but held her gaze at him.

“Ahem,” they suddenly heard Piper’s voice behind them. “In case you’ve stopped with the flirting, I’d like you to meet a couple of people.”

Calypso turned to see the newcomers and as she recognized the Hunter badges both of them had attached to their shirts, something in her mind just suddenly turned off.

[mybeloved73]

My name is Chelsea and I’m a ITU Nurse.

I’m also a newly qualified nurse - I literally left Uni last year and began my job in the September.

My background - I didn’t always want to be a nurse. I wasn’t cut out for that sort of compassion or care. I dreamt of being a PT, an athlete, anything that was sports driven.

Until my boyfriend had a bike accident, that then left him in ITU. He later succumb to his injuries and passed away. The nurses looking after him, changed my life. Shining light kind of moment - I want to be just like them kind of thing.

Granted it took me 4 years to build up the courage, battling my PTSD, severe depression and anxiety to even apply to uni. But I did it - and Sept 2019 I got my Pin as a registered nurse.

Now, if you 1) think covid19 was made up, a conspiracy or the numbers have been made up as a scare tactic or 2) you actually believe wearing a face covering will cause ‘respiratory arrests’ ‘acidosis’ blah... stop reading. Because this isn’t for you. Or even 3) you have the view of ‘its their job’ - back away from your screen.

You’ve seen in the news about the public sector pay rise? That nurses aren’t included, nor the junior doctors, physio’s etc (I use etc as there are so many people being forgotten in all this and it is used lovingly and not to cause offence)? Honestly, Im so glad that others are being recognised for their input and help during this - the teachers who put in extra work for children of key workers, who sacrificed their home life to entertain little ones every day and try give them the education they need and deserve, to the police, military - anyone receiving this recognition. Honestly you deserve it. And the NHS will not shadow that or take it away from you.

We agree’d to a 3 year pay deal, that had the options of being reconsidered earlier than the final date if there was a change in circumstances. Covid19 should really be considered as a change in circumstances. I mean being told that you’re already ‘unskilled’ and watching people clap to STOP pay rises... was hard enough. But to have everyone else recognised for their vital contributions and lay something that was agreed in 2018 - is inexcusable.

You realise that most nurses didn’t get to see your claps on a Thursday? That’s handover time. And due to covid19 if their handover time was earlier - they were usually late because of how busy it was and still missed it.

I saw one. Because it so happened I had come off of nights the night prior.

So! My life during covid19 starts off with the busiest winter that my hospital has seen in ITU. We have 10 beds. We are funded for 7/8? We had to open an escalation centre that we stole from our day surgery unit to give us a further 3 beds.

Which in itself is hard - looking after seriously sick patients away from your actual designated and designed ward and without the continuous presence of doctors.

That wasn’t enough.

We had to then stole half of the recovery room, which usually houses patients post surgery whilst they wake up.

Going up to 16 patients. Remember - at this point. I’m THREE MONTHS qualified.

Learning is hard, steep, and in-depth. You’re suppose to be trained over the course of a year as a newly qualified, with study days and help from mentors etc. I couldn’t attend some of those days because we didn’t have the staff to look after the most patients our ITU had ever seen.

Now I know ITU is hard. I picked it.

I knew what it entailed, well partly.

I have to maintain my patients artificial airway. They either have a tube in their mouth or in their throat.

They’re then connected to a ventilator.

Every single setting on that machine, every button - changes something drastically.

From the fio2, PEEP, PS, PC, TV, MVE, PEAK, RR, PF ratio, ... one button, one alteration or mistake... literally can stop this person breathing. Cause respiratory distress, arrest.. trauma? anything.

Did you know I have to move that tube in their mouth every hour to stop pressure sores developing in their mouth? And I still have to brush their teeth and give oral care?

I have to suction down their throat and clear their lungs? Or suction their actual mouth for extra secretions?

And record all this data hourly.

To ensure that this patient is comfortable with this tube... I have to medicate this patient.

I have to keep them in an artificial coma.

Titrating the drugs to their optimum levels.

Some are measured mg/hr, mcg/hr, mcg/kg/min..

some have limits on maximum dose per hour you can use.

Some have really severe side effects.

Such as noradrenaline. Which can literally cause your fingers and toes to become necrotic.

I have to monitor someone’s glucose - whether you’re diabetic or not, and correct it if needed with insulin or dextrose.

I have to give diuretics but not allow your body to become too negative, I have to give fluid challenges to ensure you’re not vascular depleted.

I can help your kidneys with the use of a dialysis machine. Literally filter your blood of toxins your body can no longer remove without help of a machine. This requires constant blood tests to ensure that you aren’t collecting dangerous toxins or you need additional support from the machine.

I can use a machine to check your cardiac output and interpret it to make sure that you have enough fluid vs a drug that’ll help squeeze your heart instead.

I can read an ECG and tell if you need additional supplements such as potassium. Do further tests for magnesium, phosphates etc. And deliver those.

I can feed you through a tube down your nose, and ensure you absorb it. But it’s okay I can give you medication to also help that - these require me to do daily ECGs though, and interpret the data of your QTC to make sure it’s not affecting your heart.

Now. If that’s not enough. Covid happens.

Now remember our record was 16 patients?

Try doubling that.

We worked in our ITU,

Escalation centre

Recovery - we took the whole thing.

Next - we took over operating theatres.

3 patients in theatre 6

3 in 5

3 in 4

2 in 3

We stole theatre staff, recovery nurses, ODPS, ward nurses, retired nurses, health visitor nurses, anyone we could relocate to help us.

March - I’m 6 months qualified.

I’m now the most qualified ITU nurse in my theatre.

I have people who have never looked after a ventilated patients before asking me for help. Please don’t silence my alarm if you don’t know why it’s alarming. I know it’s loud and annoying but it’s telling me everything I need to know with enough time before I need to panic.

Now - covid patients weren’t just sick. Weren’t just needing help to breathe. These patients were all sorts of ‘new’. Nothing made sense!

These patients COULDNT be ventilated. We needed to paralyse them to literally be able to take over their breathing properly! No amount of sedation worked! Their lungs were fibrous and acting like elastic under tension.

Side note - if your patient wasn’t sedated enough compared to paralysis - they could be silently awake, but completely paralysed. Knowing everything happening to them. But unable to do anything - not even breathe. Every time you start rocuronium you need to remember that. If you’re withdrawing treatment - TURN THE ROC OFF FIRST. And wait before you do anything else.

Back to it. They were so unstable that you try roll them, which we usually do 4 hourly to prevent pressure sores - they desaturated to numbers so low that you would usually see some hypoxia brain injury after.

We couldn’t roll these patients without risking that. So you know what. You don’t roll.

So we couldn’t protect their skin integrity. You just watch them, and feel guilty.

Nursing school 101 - pressure sores are PREVENTABLE. Roll your patient. Skin care and hygiene is your best friend.

Now covid went against everything a nurse knows and holds dear.

Our ITU never had pressure sores. Until covid. Some had grade 4’s.

Maggot therapy.

Vacuum dressings.

These patients were also clotting, and sending off clots to their kidneys, liver, heart, brain. Covid made your blood super sticky!!!!

People were having strokes whilst being sedated, going from fit to multi organ failure in days. I’m trying to save these people, knowing they could possibly wake up with complete left side paralysis? Never talk again? Never be them again?

Now you know about these past medical histories etc?

You realise what that is?

that it could be Type 2 diabetes?

Hypertension?

That was it for some.

None of this thinking they were super sick, with lists longer than my arm, and that’s why they didn’t make it. No.

Literally things that happen with age. Poor diet? That 120/80 you’re happy you got - THATS PREHYPERTENSION.

I was probably hypertensive the entire time with anxiety.

Did you know We had to use the old anaesthetic ventilators. None of us had used those before. Those big bellows you see in films going up and down rhythmically. Those.

That was scary.

I’m use to a single touch screen button (hello modern technology) to deliver 100% o2 if my patient needs it. This has a switch to a bag, a button, dials to titrate o2 with normal air. And if I didn’t monitor the crystals in the bottom my patient would retain their own co2 and I wouldn’t know why.

New found love for anaesthetists and ODPS - these machines are NOT designed for prolonged use. But they helped us keep our patients alive. By literally guiding us and helping us look after the machines so we could do our job.

Now. All of this is made worse by PPE.

I’m hot.

It’s hot.

And intense and I’m working hard because tonight, I have 3 ventilated patients. By myself.

I have a gown on.

2 sets of gloves

An apron

An FFP3 mask

A hat

A visor

And no air con.

But I’ve got this. I can’t do my hourly checks because I am one person.

My super sick patients now have 2 hourly because it is physically impossible.

Where are the other staff?

Sick.

You’re watching these people struggle to breathe on machines and then being told your close friends at work, your mentors, your seniors are spiking temperatures. Some being admitted to hospital. Some not being able to come back to work for weeks.

Some ending up on your ventilators. It’s okay. I’ve got this.

I’m an ITU nurse right?

CPR wearing that get up. Is TOUGH. 27mins. I cried that day.

We lost 3 patients in 12 hours.

I held the hand of so many people as I turned off their ventilators because their families couldn’t be with them and no one should die alone. No one. I tried my best.. and then once my day had finished, I had to come home to my dad who is immunosuppressed. Who doesn’t understand boundaries. “Kevin stay in the other part of the house!”

*knocks on bedroom door with dinner*.

Proning. What an experience that is. And doing it Daily. The complications of that were scary before you even approach the patient.

So I’m going to flip my patient - who has a tube down their mouth to help breath, who is on medication for sedation, paralysis, to keep their blood pressure up.. from laying on their back - to laying on their front.

Seems easy?

Well it’s not. And requires like 8 people.

8 people.

We don’t have enough people as it is. So we now develop a proning team made up of everyone.

There are consultants, there are experts in their fields, there are physios and then I don’t know who else.

Honestly I couldn’t thank these people enough. More people would have died if we didn’t have a proning team. But now, people spent 23 hours laying on their front. Pressure sores on their faces. Potential of going blind? New complications of not being able to breathe we never expected.

We are finally back into one unit now. I’m still less than a year qualified. And I’m still running on adrenaline expecting this second wave. Those still reading, I know you’re thinking that she picked this job.

She knew what it meant.

And you’re right! Give me those complex drug calculations and ventilators. Oh and the scrubs!

But a pandemic? I didn’t pick that. The world didn’t pick that.

Honestly thank you, to the ward nurses - your lives got flipped upside down.

The physios who became best friends.

Consultants who literally got down and dirty with us.

To the domestics who cleaned furiously for us.

OT’s To literally orientate our patients when they’re waking up like 70 days later.

Every

Single

Person

Who

Helped.

Oh communication team made up of medical students, who updated the families because... I couldn’t. I couldn’t leave my patient. Not like this!

Matron who literally had to facilitate all this, with people who knew nothing about ITU. Being in ITU. Looking after ITU patients. Whilst her own ITU staff were sick, in hospital, or newly qualified, or working to the point they broke.

To the countless companies sending food, goodies, moral support !! Oh my god that was incredible to come to after not having a break for 6+ hours ... mmm... food!!

Did you know they’re offering support for the nurses to stop PTSD, or anxiety or just to help up digest what we saw? Psychological support for just doing your job?

But it’s okay.

We got a deal in 2018 for the pay.

We got clapped thursdays.

We all know that’s not enough, but we will still turn up for work.

We can’t leave our patients.

We can’t strike.

They’ll always mean more to us than pay. And the government knows that. Abuses that.

540 NHS staff lost their life doing ‘just their job’ - today the NHS staff walked through London protesting, to be heard. To be listened to. To be acknowledged. To be paid fair.

Sign the petition for us. Because we aren’t just here for covid. We’re here for life.

https://petition.parliament.uk/petitions/316307

And just put your mask on - please - for that hour you go shopping.

I’ve been wearing mine since March 6th. 13+ hour days. Developed a nice grade one on my nose, my friends faces bleeding from using a rubber respirator....

And We’ll be like this for the foreseeable future.

Now that we have the stocks to do so anyways.

Oh and I’m pissed my graduation was cancelled! All that and I don’t get to wear the hat and gown. Bastard virus. (I understand there was more lost but humour me).

Signed, your registered ITU nurse. We will always continue to monitor.

[radramblog]

<untitled uni ramble, i guess>

I’m about 4 or so months away from finishing my master’s degree, and I’m not sure what I’m doing after that.

(fair warning this ended up way more bitter and resentful than I expected :v )

In high school I definitely knew I wanted to do science, but beyond that, I didn’t know what I wanted. After I had a particularly awful teacher in year 10, and realised he was one of the school’s primary physics teachers, I elected not to pursue that line, inadvertently crushing child me’s wanting to be an astronomer (and, though it would take a while to drive the point home, dad wanting me to be an engineer like him). To be fair, I probably would have bounced off of it pretty hard, too much complicated maths I could never really get my head around. At that point my mum was still pushing for me to be a doctor (did she ever really stop?), so hey, Human Biology looks good, and I was pretty good at Chemistry and it runs in the family so why not, right?

The latter took much better than the former, and while I would continue Chemistry into my undergrad, any human element of the biology I studied was left at the door. Rather, I split my options as wide as possible in first year, trying to sample bits of Biochemistry, Genetics, and Pharmacology, the former of which being the main one to resonate with me. Chemistry, I thought, was a shoe-in, but I might as well get the double degree going, since I’m clearly capable of it.

And then I got sick of Chemistry. Failing the last unit definitely didn’t help, having basically only one friend in it didn’t either (I knew a few others in Biochem-related fields and had made a few mates in that course). I felt burned out on it, felt like I was only really completing that unit out of obligation and restriction rather than wanting to do it. I suppose no-one really wants to repeat a unit- that year, 2019, I’d argue was the worst (certainly the most wasteful) of my life, and having that failure weighing down on me didn’t help. But I got through it, and now I have a nice shiny piece of paper that says congratulations you’re good at science. It’s a shame my grandmother, a professor of Organic Chemistry in her time and a large part of the inspiration for me to go down that path, couldn’t see me reach that milestone.

But that piece of paper doesn’t say that I’m good enough at science to get a real job.

For that you need postgrad in this day and age, and its likely that still wouldn’t be enough. My options were twofold- Masters or Honours, Chemistry or Biochemistry. The latter was simple, I just wanted to drop Chem like it was hot, I’d been burned before (literally once or twice), and the former was made easier by the realisations that A. Masters would only take 3 semesters if I didn’t fuck it up and B. Honours isn’t universally recognised, particularly in the United States since I have a citizenship there. So I just audibled into that degree, and here I am now, 2/3rds of the way through it.

Maybe I’m just down because COVID has made Uni the last year a massive pain, despite my surprisingly solid marks. I haven’t been in the lab since 2019, after all, and another year beyond that for a Biochem lab specifically. But either way I’m beginning to wonder what the point of this is. Research is not something that’s a great idea to get into if you want a stable career, especially here these days, but I don’t want to sell my soul to some massive corporate lab. What else is there for a biochemist to do, though? Where else can I apply these skills, ones that depression and imposter syndrome barely let me acknowledge? I just don’t know, and I’m sick of people asking me what I want to do, because it feels like I’ve just gone with the flow for the past…forever.

Uni starts again in a week and a half. 12 weeks (plus a few for exams) later, I should have an actual, honest to god, postgraduate degree. Where the hell do I go from there?

[omoi-no-hoka]

My Experience Working in Japan

Fear not--it’s not all gloom and doom.

Today I thought I’d talk a bit about what it’s been like working in Japan for half a decade. I imagine that my experience is probably different from someone who lives in a more metropolitan area like Tokyo. 

Why did you choose Hokkaido?

Hokkaido is the northernmost island/prefecture of Japan. It’s the biggest prefecture and plays a huge role in Japan’s agriculture. Since it’s a separate island from Honshu (the island with Tokyo, Osaka, Kyoto, and pretty much everywhere else of note), not too many foreigners choose to live here. However, there is a small but ever-growing community of winter sports lovers who move here long-term. 

I studied abroad in Hokkaido when I was in uni and fell in love with it. What can I say? I grew up on a farm in a county that had a grand total of three traffic lights, and I just hate the hustle and bustle and endless concrete of big cities. I’d go crazy if I had to live somewhere like Tokyo. I need to see green, I need to hear birds instead of sirens. 

What was your first job, and how did you get it?

I knew by about my third or fourth year of uni that I wanted to go to Japan for a while, so I double majored in the two areas that I knew would help get me a decent job there: Japanese, and English with a focus on linguistics, second language acquisition, and English as a Second Language (ESL). I also obtained a CELTA (Certificate in Teaching English to Speakers of Other Languages) from Cambridge. There are many different TEFL (Teaching English as a Foreign Language) certificates out there, but the CELTA is the most esteemed and recognized worldwide, so that was what I got. 

I ended up looking for teaching jobs in Sapporo, even though it was a much bigger city than I wanted to live in. It has a population of 2 million, and the city I had my eyes on was less than 1/4 of Sapporo’s size. But I couldn’t find any teaching jobs in the smaller city. The job-hunting was difficult, because unless you have a spousal visa or something, the employer has to be able to sponsor a work visa. But sponsoring work visas is very expensive for the company, so many smaller businesses can’t give you a work visa. 

There are many 英会話 (Eikaiwa) English Conversation schools in Japan. Basically, the entire English education curriculum and its implementation in Japanese public schools is...atrocious. Absolutely worthless. The vast majority of students study English for all 6 years of middle and high school and can’t have a simple conversation by the end of it, though they can read and write it somewhat decently. So the Eikaiwa industry was born, and these schools promise parents that their children can have native-like pronunciation and get jobs in fields where English is necessary if they pay outrageous costs for weekly 50-minute lessons. 

There are many big-name Eikaiwas in operation throughout the country, but many of these are so-called ブラック企業 (black kigyou, a.k.a. black businesses) which means that they commit various labor law violations. Most foreigners they hire don’t speak Japanese and aren’t aware of their legal rights, or what they can do when they are violated. A quick google search will show you tons of horror stories from foreigners hired by eikaiwas who didn’t receive pay, were screamed at for calling in sick to work, etc. Basically, most corporate eikaiwas don’t care who is teaching the kids, as long as they are white. You are a piece of meat to them. 

So I avoided all the big-name places and found a small, privately owned Eikaiwa in Sapporo, run by a fellow foreigner. I had a skype interview with her from my living room in America, she hired me, and I moved to Sapporo. I worked there for three years. Despite having a fellow ex-pat as a boss, I was still subjected to the mistreatment of the corporate eikaiwas. No matter how sick I was, despite the fact that we were forbidden from wearing masks (kids need to see our mouths for pronunciation), and despite the fact that I was constantly around infants, I was ordered to “take an aspirin and get to work.” I was under the impression I was enrolled in the Japanese pension, but after two years of working there I learned that we were not, in fact, enrolled in the pension. This is illegal, and I was forced to pay about $4,000 USD in backpay to the pension. My employers refused to provide assistance paying this even though by law the employer is required to pay 50% of an employee’s pension. 

So yeah. Not too fun really. The kids were really cute, though, and I didn’t hate teaching English. But after 3 years, I was ready to move on.

What’s your current job, and how did you get it?

The three years I worked at the Eikaiwa, I studied Japanese at least one hour every night, and at least 8-10 hours on the weekends. I had the conversation and grammar down, but my kanji and vocabulary was lacking so all I did was read, read, read. Thanks to that, I passed the JLPT N1 and my Japanese reached a level that I could survive in a Japanese workplace. 

Fed up with my current job and jaded of teaching, I looked for translation jobs in companies in Hokkaido. But there were absolutely zilch. I realized that (in Hokkaido), there were no jobs for foreigners other than teaching English. The situation was so hopeless that I actually looked for jobs back in the United States and applied for a couple. Moving back home after only 3 years of living abroad felt like defeat and I didn’t want to leave Japan, but I just couldn’t take the eikaiwa industry anymore, and I knew that I would only spiral further into depression in a metropolis like Tokyo. 

In June of 2017, I sent out some applications and applied to headhunting agencies in America. And in August, a friend here in Hokkaido called me with some incredible news. A student of hers was working as a temp translator for a company in the city I had originally wanted to live in. He needed a replacement, and would I be interested?

I couldn’t believe it. Translation was my dream job, and it was in my dream city. I immediately called to find out more, and I looked up how to make a Japanese resume. Did you know that resumes are printed on A3 paper and hand written?! Good lord, I spent about 9 hours writing and re-writing it because I don’t have good handwriting in Japanese. I went in for an interview. They said they would match the pay of my current job and then some, that I would have business trips to Tokyo, that there was a very likely chance I would get to see other parts of Japan due to this job, that I would be able to build experience in multiple fields at once, that they would give me all the benefits that they are legally obligated to give (lol), and they would let me go home to America for extended periods as long as I took my work laptop and didn’t mind doing a bit of work while I was there. It was everything I dreamed of, so of course I accepted the position. 

And the cherry on top? The guy who gave me the interview had a very unusual last name, which I’ll say is K___. At the end of the interview, he asked, “By the way, do you know anyone else named K___?”

Me: “Well, actually I do have a student whose last name is K___.”

And he smiles and says, “Yeah, that’s my daughter.”

In a city of 2 million people, about 700 children aged 0-18 were enrolled in my Eikaiwa. Out of those 700, I taught about 120. And out of all of those kids, one of them turned out to be the daughter of the man who gave me my interview and would become my boss! WHAT ARE THE CHANCES?! It still blows my mind to think about. 

Later, after I was hired and we went for drinks after work, he told me that the moment he had seen my resume and the name of the Eikaiwa, he had gone to his daughter and asked, “Hey, do you know omoi-no-hoka-sensei? What’s she like?” His daughter said a bunch of really nice things about me, and he decided that if his daughter liked me, then I must be a good addition to the company. Before the interview he had already decided to hire me. 

It just goes to show that you should always be your best because you never know who’s watching!

So yeah, I quit my job at the eikaiwa, moved to my dream city, and started my dream job two years ago. My coworkers are all really, really nice. My bosses are all great. I’m the only person in my whole office that speaks English though, so sometimes I get a bit lonely in that regard. But because I’m the only one who speaks English and this is a global company with headquarters in America, I get asked to do a bunch of miscellaneous tasks, so I’m never bored! Sometimes this means I have a lot of overtime, though. It’s not uncommon to have a 12 hour work-day. But in my downtime between translation requests, I make most of these Tumblr posts. 

[letsdiscoverkitty]

10/08/18: My recent break from Tumblr 

I doubt anyone cared/noticed but I took a bit of break from tumblr. I am not sure whether I am going to come back to this account/how I am going to use it but let’s just say that taking a step back from social media in general (I was also trying to limit the time I spent on my phone/IG/facebook etc) was needed. It is so easy to get caught up in social media and forget that real life is going on around you. Taking a break was hard, really hard, and I don’t think I realised just how hard it would be. I don’t think we realise how much time we spend scrolling/checking our phones throughout the day, it is quite scary. I had to force myself not to check in on accounts or “just check” my inbox or messages. Each time I wanted to click on my tumblr link I had to literally push myself to turn away from my laptop and try to engage in something else. I have had to force myself to use other distractions/tools and I am actually quite glad that I did. Over the past week and a half (+) I have started reading a little bit more, I have picked up my crocheting, I have started a few of the free OU courses and I have slowly begun to feel a little more ‘present’ in every day life. 

I wish that I could see here and tell you that just because I took a break, my MH is now fine and I am back on the recovery bandwagon, but that would be an utter/complete lie. This break has not fixed things; not in the slightest and to be totally honest with you, it has made me feel quite alone at times but I needed it. I need time away from this place; time to check in with myself, reconnect with reality and begin to work through some of the things that have been holding me back recently.

On Monday I had to say goodbye to my EDP. Our last session was not how I intended or imagined it to be; I will admit that I felt like I was letting her down. In general things have not been very good; the team have now put a cut off point (in terms of weight) as to when they are calling things/I have been told I would not have a choice but to go back to hospital...oh and my bloods have been taking a bit of a downwards turn. But I have realised that going back to hospital is NOT what I want. Admissions at the units used in my area are all physical based and are not helpful/not what I need and I would likely be left in the same position as I was when I left earlier this year. Yes Anorexia has been very loud in my head about the whole thing but we all know that it is a inherent liar, which has no other goal than to slowly destroy us and everything around us. Each day I am reminding myself of this and telling myself that it is either here & now or going back to the Bethlem, which is not even a starter. I am slowly turning a corner but it’s a day by day transition at the moment. The session itself was actually helpful and she said a few things that I think are going to stick with me for quite a while. I am meeting my new therapist next week and then have 2 blank weeks before starting MANTRA properly at the beginning of September. This is yet another reason for me to be turning things around as I want to be able to give MANTRA a chance and I have been reminded that I can’t fall any further or else it will be off the cards. 

I have finally been doing some future thinking and my motivation to change is slowly but surely turning. Right now it feels like every little thing is a huge massive effort; it is almost like I am trying to turn this huge great wheel of cogs that have rusted together but that are barely budging. It is tiring; exhausting even. But I am holding on and I am not throwing in the towel. It is really hard to see the endless stream of posts about uni/graduating/jobs/houses/babies etc and there is a huge part of me that wants to run off and do everything but I know that to commit to anything right now would only be an act of avoidance and would likely maintain the cycles that have played out in the past. 

So yes, I am actually beginning to WANT a future beyond this.  In the past it has always felt like this big fantasy/dream that I was saying but never truly believing for myself (if that makes sense?). But recently I have been craving this need for human contact. I want to be out there living. I want to meet people, I want to have plans and things to look forwards to. I want to be able to get some shitty little part time job and be earning some money. I want to have energy again and be able to do things. And this may sound really selfish but I want a boyfriend; I want to find someone I can connect with and hold and be with. I want to be finding out who I am without anorexia. without MH labels and stigmas attached. I have been held back and down for so many years and it’s like it’s all come to the surface and I am beginning to see the reality of everything? idk.

Don’t get me wrong, I wish I had had some magical moment/apparition etc during this little break, but we all know that life doesn’t just happen like that. If recovery was as simple as that then none of us would be in these situations. However I feel like my mindset is beginning to turn and as I said at the beginning of this post, I am not sure how I am going to move ahead with this blog/place and whether or not I will be online much or at all. In some senses this blog has been so incredibly helpful and tumblr pretty much saved my life on numerous occasions, however I am wary of how much of a distraction/avoidance technique it can be. That, along with unhelpful messages and my inbuilt need to constantly try to save everyone else, I am just not sure how things are going to pan out for the immediate future. 

Anyway I will leave this here. Thank you to all those who have stuck by me, you all mean so much to me. I really and truly hope that this can be where things take a turn for the better for me (and all of you) because, well, we deserve this. We deserve a chance. We really do.

[denialanderror]

Tell The Truth Game

CAN YOU FILL THIS OUT WITHOUT LYING?

Tagged by @imhereforbvcky

1. What was the last thing you put in your mouth? Pepsi.

2. Where was your blog picture taken? No clue but I wish I was there.

3. Worst pain you’ve experienced? I’ve never broken bones before or anything like that but I’ve had migraines since I was 13 and there have been a handful that were unbearable. I’m talking laying in a dark room curled up in a ball sobbing kind of unbearable.

4. How many times have you been married? Never.

5. How late did you stay up last night? Just before 4am

6. If you could move somewhere else, where would it be? You know those gorgeous cliffside towns you get in Italy and Greece? One of those. All white buildings and narrow alleys. 

7. Do any of your Tumblr friends live close by? Kinda? I know some of The Children don’t live too far. And @dontstopwiththelyin lives like 40 minutes away!

8. When was the last time you cried? Uhhh probably Monday? I watched Hamilton. It was amazing. 

9. Who took your profile picture? Here? Some photographer. On my other accounts? Me probably.

10. How many marriage proposals have you had? One. It was hilarious. 

11. If you could have any career, what would it be? Honestly if I could bake for a living I’d just be so happy. I made a succulent cake last night! 

12. What was the last book you read? Last book I finished? Deathly Hallows. Last book I read? I bought a series of trashy books I loved when I was thirteen that I started again last night. So Airhead.

13. If you could talk to ANYONE right now who would it be? A friend I haven’t talked to in years.

14. Are you a good influence? God no, I’m a mess. I’m emotional, unstable and needy. I grew up finding school too easy until it wasn’t and still don’t know how to fully put my effort in to anything I do and yet get upset when it doesn’t work out. I’ve accomplished nothing lmao I’m the last person anyone should be influenced by.

15. Does pineapple belong on a pizza? Abso-fucking-lutely

16. You have the remote, what channel would you watch? Probably Sky Movies? 

17. Whom do you think will play along? Halloumi and Michelle would probably do this. And Nikki? 

18. Have you graduated from Uni? Nope. And who knows if I will. Third times the charm?

19. Your Favorite Football Team? Back when I gave a shit about football (fuk u Murica) I was a Manchester United fan. But I stopped giving a shit many moons ago.

I was expecting way worse!

I’ll tag…

@poealsobucky @mynameisnoelle @doublestufthoreo @soldatbarnes @theassetseyeliner @retroasgardian

[dominicrowespom]

MD6311 Major Project Evaluation

Background, Concept and Ideas

At the beginning of third year Ben and I came into this project with the intention of making a 13 track semi conceptual album based around seasons, having three songs for each season starting in Autumn ending in Summer. The hope was that it would propel ‘Two to a Room’ from an unknown name into exciting duo, the songs naturally being influenced by the music we listen to. 9 months later we’ve created a 12 track conceptual alternative hip hop album based around the same thing we originally intended, released 3 singles with 3 music videos, have a combined total of of just over 4000 steams on Spotify as well as an active following on Instagram.

Hip hop is traditionally known as a raw and honest genre of music, many artists have detailed the entirety of their life experiences onto their music in a very purposeful way. We have taken hip hop and altered it so that it applies and relates to the experience of uni students. It gives a voice to the people who are struggling during this period of life where everything seems a bit uncertain.

Some of our influences include:

Cosmo

King Krule

Loyle Carner

Rejjie Snow

JJ

Easy Life

Bakar

Many a time we’d find ourselves listening to one of their songs and being inspired by the way they’d mixed a bass line or how they added interesting/unique sounds and sections. We’re probably on the whole most similar to Bakar, however we bring our own style.

Audiences and Markets

Before deciding an audience and an artist identity we simply began playing and making music. We had a general basis as a band, having played a couple of shows under the same name in first year. Two to a Room somewhat subsided second year giving us a completely fresh start in third year, new music, new social media pages and a new image. We created personable tracks some light and some dark sounding, both instrumentally and lyrically quite downtrodden. While creating the album this helped us realise our sound, we were making the music of and relating to University students, depressed, drinking, smoking and in search for some sort of love and placeholder in this world. We continuously found ourselves adding Trippy elements to our music creating a stoner induced drug fuelled aesthetic.

The album is aimed at 16 to 24 year olds, teens and young adult transitioning into adulthood and the working world, getting by smoking spliffs and drinking a lot. For this reason we decided it would be best to push everything onto every streaming platforms though ‘distrokid’, an independent digital music distribution service. Through stats on (https://www.ifpi.org/news/IFPI-releases-2018-music-consumer-insight-report) I found that 86% of us listen to music through on-demand streaming. Young music consumers are most engaged streamers, with 57% of 16-24 year olds using a paid audio streaming service. This makes it the perfect place for our audience to find our music. We intend to release 10-50 exclusive copies of our album on CD due to peoples love of exclusivity and giveaways.

Our work is best understood sat back in a comfortable environment, where you can digest every word and feeling we were attempting to portray. There are hints of what our style, vibe and thought process is throughout our Instagram and music videos. The album can be related to if you’ve ever; gone on a night out, worked a dead end job or if you’ve ever just felt a bit stuck in life, so everyone. The reason it’s aimed at uni students is because they’re most likely to feel the entirety of emotions and lifestyle that we’ve displayed on our record.

There’s definitely already songs for sad people and a community for alternative hip hop but because our music experiments with so many different sounds and genres it’s hard to pigeonhole us into one that is preexisting. However the Cheltenham’s hip hop scene is the community closest to us, diverse in the artists and sonics that it holds. We’be home from hoping to get a foot in with the Cheltenham crowd, to wanting to unite it further and push it forward, there’s a lot of talent here.

Our only competition is ourselves, and that’s not the answer this evaluation requires but its the truth. If we solely see ourselves as the ones to beat and the ones to better taking influences from all sorts of places, we have no need to be in competition with anyone. I’d rather do the opposite and bring everyone so no one has competitors, just allies.

Promotional Strategies

Our journey for the public began at the start of October, our first Instagram upload being posted on the 3rd. We released a demo shortly after, mixed and mastered by ourselves to show our audience what we were about stylistically and aesthetically. For a demo it did far better than expected, accumulating close to 100 views in it’s first week, in time surpassing that. This gave us confidence to continue doing what we’d already set out to do. We kept our Instagram relatively busy, using photos taken by 1st year student Curtis, We then released our first single to all major streaming platforms mixed and mastered by Beau Peep. At the time none of this process had fully gone as we had planned, the song was released later than intended, videographers dropped out/couldn’t film for us and the B-side wasn’t mastered the desired way. In hindsight this moment was a good learning curve for future releases, we discovered the importance of planning properly and having everything set way in advance. It was also successful in how it was received, getting over 1000 listens in it’s first month.

In the time before our first and second single we wanted to keep our audiences attention so we decided to come up with a potential series idea named ‘In the Living Room’ airing our first episode on the 9th of January 2019. The idea was to do an acoustic set up, similar to The Tiny Desk concert, but in our living room. It was so that we could have a place to display the raw version of our music and potentially other artists as it’s something we’d found that a lot of music listeners enjoy hearing their favourite songs in a different setting sounding a little different.

We next turned our attentions towards Astronaut, we had the song finished and ready to release mid-January so we decided to begin a promotional campaign, doing a photoshoot a with friend of ours, third year student David Richards. We showed Ben Sanders the song, he enjoyed it and asked if he could do the visuals for it. We gladly accepted as it seemed like he was very keen, it took a few months to shoot it leaving a small amount of time to edit the video. In the meantime we uploaded several rows of promotional pictures to our Instagram building the excitement for the video. The video was eventually released in a hurry, and was still a little below the standard we were aiming for. As it was uploaded a little later than first anticipated it gave us less time to promote the album as a whole. But because we’d been promoting astronaut for so long we leaned into theme with a few more photos from another friend and third year student ‘Ryan Free’ who helped us reflect the feeling of the album being spaced out in a very concrete environment creating that juxtaposition in his photo by having us wear astronaut costumes in a fancy, old fashioned looking restaurant

We recorded the video for our third and final single a month before releasing the album so we could use it as part of the promotion cycle once the album was released. We organised for ‘drreproductions’ to shoot it for us and they agreed to get it shot in what turned out to be a very busy April. We played 2 gigs in the run up to the album launch while finishing the mastering of the album and organising both music videos. We hosted an album Launch at Smokey Joes on the 8th of May bringing in acts, photographers and videographers from uni to create a communal experience where we’re all helping each other. The laugh went very successfully, we were able to gain a profit from the night as well as a couple of new fans. At the time of writing our Instagram sits at 230 followers, the album has been streamed 3250 times

Evaluation

The album itself was successful. We released a 12 track solid body of work that will most definitely propel us into better things. There are a couple of standout tracks, Cruisn, Black Mould and Streets and Towns truly showcasing our maturity in terms of songwriting and storytelling. There were several songs that were dropped from the album and there were some last minute additions. ‘Hitting the Mark’ was one of the late attendees because we found the voice note on my phone from a few months prior while looking for vocal snippets to add to the album. Every new addition had to fit the tone of the project so it was difficult at times getting the order of tracks right, but eventually we settled on one that we both thought told our story best.

The album launch was a slightly stressful but very fun event. It took us several months to sort out, booking the venue in February but doing most of the leg work in April. We charged £2 at the door, over 60 people bought a ticket which helped us gain a profit from the night. The atmosphere was good the whole night, Toby Catt opening the evening, Beau Peep got the crowds arms moving, Real Triggz and KingOBithy brought the hype, local acts JPDL and Yogi Beats got everyone dancing and we were blessed to end the night.

In this major project we delivered what we set out to do and have surpassed it. We have the intention to continue as a duo past uni and bring this work with us. We have 2 festivals to play in the summer, the rest only the future knows.

[salty-yu]

winter break 2016 was crazy yall, pero it gave me enough time to catch up on shitloads of mikayuu fic, here’s what ya girl has compiled this time around

Mikayuu Fic Recs 1 Key:  (Status | Chapters | Word Count | Rating)

FIC COUNT: 23

Blood Moon (complete | 1/1 | 595 | not rated)

Mika adjusts to being a vampire and drinking on a regular basis.

A Bit of a Sticky Situation (complete | 1/1 | 3,562 | no warnings apply)

“Good boy,” Mika praises, and Yuu felt his cock twitch, hanging heavily between his legs. “You’re so wet for me, Yuu. I can slide my fingers into your greedy little hole so nicely when you’re like this. It feels good, doesn’t it? Having my fingers stretching you open, my tongue and lips cleaning up the mess you’ve made of the backs of your thighs and cock.”

Or, alternatively, the painfully clicks omegaverse smutfic no one asked for.

Corner of a Birdcage (wip | 11/? | 168,026 | not rated)

It was then that Yuu took a moment to fully let the situation at hand sink in. There he was, wearing nothing more but an oversized, white T-shirt, his elephant boxer briefs that Shinoa had given him as a gag gift for Christmas last year, and a lot of fatigue while he stared down at the unconscious superhero that saved his life only about an hour ago.

or, Yuu is a university student that tends to live for the moment. Mika is a cynical superhero that’s more super than a hero. Fate is a bit aggressive with intertwining their lives. 

Scented (wip | 19/? | 69,157 | rape/non-con)

In a world ruled by beta neutrality, alphas and omegas are controlled by suppressants which modify their natural inclinations. Under constant surveillance, unproductive members of society are removed in the name of efficiency. Yuichirou Hyakuya is deemed infertile by the Board and is sentenced to certain death. In an act of defiance Yuichirou steals enough suppressants to hide his scent and joins the military under the guise of a beta.

It would be his luck to find himself under the command of his assigned mate, Mikaela Shindo. 

An Endless Desire (complete | 6/6 | 14,788 | graphic depicts. of violence)

Being captured is never a good thing. Yuichirou Hyakuya finds himself waking up to the one place he thought he would never return to. Wanting to escape, and return to the people who need him, there’s one who will not let him go no matter what after being able to see him after four long years. Contains yaoi. 

The smell of Roses (wip | 7/? | 21,280 | major character death, graphic depicts. of violence, rape/non-con)

You're regular florist, hit man love story.

Strangeness and Charm (wip | 16/? | 108,877 | graphic depicts. of violence)

The huntsmen and the werewolves have been at war with each other for centuries.

Krul always told Mika to stay out of the woods and not talk to strangers when he was younger. Now that Mika is older, despite being an omega he became a hunter alongside the alphas and betas to take out the werewolves and keep them from attacking the town and its people. 

When Mika encounters Yuu, a long wolf who has abandoned his pack - Mika learns that there’s no such thing as all wolves being big and bad, regarding their bigs eyes and large teeth. Yuu didn't choose to become a monster and knowing this fact, they must keep their growing bond a secret.

Burden of Good Intentions (wip | 9/17 | 44,270 | graphic depicts. of violence)

After awakening from a horrid nightmare, Yuichirou finds himself in a completely different world. The war against the vampires is non-existent, the Hyakuya orphans are still alive, he and Mikaela are lovers, and JIDA is an organization dedicated to the destruction of monsters by the use of colossal mechs, the Evangelions. Uniting with Mikaela, the two dedicate their lives to piloting the Eva and securing the safety of their family. 

My Treasure (wip | 5/? | 42,322 | not rated)

Mikaela is the captain of the Rosethorn ship, and is known and feared by nobles far and wide as the infamous Golden Fleece who steals riches unnoticed despite the heavy security they have layered.

No one has ever caught him before or knew what he does with their stolen treasures and Mikaela wants it to stay that way. That is... until a certain someone catches his interest, which is a mistake on his part.

...Or maybe not. 

Iridescent (wip | 1/? | 6,683 | no warnings apply)

With the strong will and desire to explore other galaxies and star systems, Mikaela goes completely against the government rules with a belief that his species comes from a long line of space exploration. He didn’t expect to crash into another life form’s house. By utter chance, he gets to learn about a completely different planet while helping Yuuichirou achieve his own goals and dreams.

But with Mikaela’s own kind hot on his tail--literally--both he and Yuuichirou must find a way to solve the issues and conflicts they will come to face.

Afire love (complete | 18/18 | 140,142 | graphic depicts. of violence)

After Nagoya’s failed mission, an unsteady truce is formed between Shinoa’s squad and Mikaela Hyakuya, making Yuu feel conflicted inside. On one hand, he’s got Mika back, his friends are alive, and the seem to be trying to be civil with each other, even if it’s just for his sake. On the other hand, Guren is being held captive by the vampires, Shinya has just given them a mission Yuu doesn’t like, and Mika... Yuu doesn’t really know what Mika is feeling.

Maybe not even Mikaela knows what he's truly feeling after all. 

Waiting for Prince Charming (wip | 7/? | 33,626 | underage)

Mikaela never thought he’d be an omega but there he was, pinned up against the wall by the school’s manwhore: Yuuichirio Hyakuya. And even if that didn’t go as planned, he never thought this would happen. 

Is the Mask Really Hiding Something? (wip | 2/? | 11,121 | graphic depicts. of violence, underage)

This superhero job should be pretty straightforward: protect the city and its people, puffy the Horsemen before they destroy everything, and fix all the damage that’s been done. But when the heroes are Mika and Yuu—two teenage boys already having to deal with family issues, asshole friends, and secret crushes—nothing gets to stay that simple. 

Oh, and they also have to stop the evil, immortal monster sealed under the city from getting enough human blood to break free and take over the entire world. No pressure. 

Chasing Fate (wip | 4/? | 10,199 | not rated)

The yearly Mating Run was mere days away, and Yuu was participating for the second year in a row.

Yuu tired to remain optimistic about finding his true Mate in another alpha, until Shinoa, a first time runner, had told him that this year the Vampire alphas were going to be running as well.

That news was less than thrilling, to say the least.

Mikaela will be running for the first time since he’d been turned into a vampire, 4 years prior. And after crossing paths with the raven haired omega, Mikaela knew that he’d be running for that omega and nobody else.

He could only hope that Yuu would accept him for monster he’d been forced to become. 

Whoever Said Opposites Attract Was a Liar (wip | 5/? | 7,168 | not rated)

“Can I keep him?”

As a child, demon prince Yuichiro was convinced that the angel Mikaela was destined to be his. He thinks they are meant to be.

Mika, not so much.

But when they are now sixteen, the beautiful angel princes gets kidnapped by the fallen angels, Ferid and Crowley, in order to bring war between demons and angels.

Out of the request of his son (actually begging), Demon King Guren sends Yuu to Earth on the journey of getting his true love back.

Meanwhile, Mika must remain on Earth as he escapes his capturers and bunks in with some humans ion a human boarding school until he finds a way back home.

Things Could Be Worse (wip | 17/? | 69,826 | not rated)

Or the one in which Yuu is turned into a vampire and is surprisingly chill about it. Mika, on the other hand, is flipping his shit.

The Institution (wip | 2/? | 3,459 | not rated)

In a beta-ruled society, alphas and omegas are looked at as enemies. So Krul Tepes, a kind and loving soul, started up The Institution where alphas and omegas would live peacefully and happily. As well as being out of the way of the higher class. But things start going downhill when a strange, wild omega is found outside the The Institution, only being able to say one word: Mika. 

Commitment (wip | 10/? | 14,300 | no warnings applied)

Sex to Mika was nothing more than a way to pass time. He has enough notes on his belt to last two lifetimes. But when he starts falling hard for a sexy barista, he thinks maybe - just maybe - he was completely and utterly wrong. 

Check, Please (complete | 1/1 | 4,334 | not rated)

//Or basically, Yuu is the manager and Mika is the new employee. And Yuu makes Mika stay late after work to teach him a lesson.

More Than Just a Dream (wip | 4/? | 12,741 | not rated)

//When Mikaela Shindo, a well-known author, gets thrown into his own book... he accidentally falls in love with the main character, Yuuichirou Amane. 

New Perspective (complete | 1/1 | 6,811 | underage)

Yuu grows up referring to Mika as his brother, unknowing of Mika’s feelings. When he begins to fall in love with Mika, he figures that his feelings are wrong, that they’re taboo and should be kept secret. It isn’t until their court heat, when they’re unable to suppress their hormones, everything come to light.

The Ride of Yuu-Chan’s Life (complete | 1/1 | 2,290 | no warnings apply)

Mika wanted payback for the time Yuu seduced Mika in the car.

Mika got his revenge, with the help of some handcuffs and a cocky attitude.

Somnia (wip | 6/? | 32,123 | not rated)

When Yuuichirou Amane dropped out of uni, he didn’t expect much out of his life. In fact, he expected everything to be boring and bleak. After all, he’s eighteen, still stuck living with Guren, no job, no degree, no future, and no fucks given about anything to be quite honest.

It’s safe to say that he definitely didn’t expect to be whisked away into some parallel world where not only does magic exist, but there's also a very attractive blond prince who is convinced Yuu and him are soulmates. Maybe Yuu should have stayed un university after all. Getting that degree might have been easier than dealing with all this insanity.

[detective-prince-bluebottle]

tagged by @agatharja

first rule: tag 9 people you want to get to know better! You don’t have to do it if you don’t want to! :)

... my anxiety won’t let me tag anyone because i’m afraid i’d be bothering them

second rule: Bold statements that are true

- I am 5'7 or taller (i fucking wiiiiiiiiiiiiiish)

- I wear glasses (i’m meant to but i don’t because they get dirty and that bothers me)

-I have at least one tattoo

- I have at least one piercing (6 distributed around my ears and 1 nose)

- I have blonde hair

- I have brown eyes

- I have short hair (hells yeah boi)

- My abs are at least somewhat defined (bitch i wish, fuck off)

- I have or had braces

PERSONALITY:

- I love meeting new people

- People tell me I am funny (ppl tell me nothing. also i never speak out loud)

- Helping others with their problems is a big priority of mine (i mean i’d like to but i have no idea what to say)

- I enjoy physical challenges

- I enjoy mental challenges

- I am playfully rude to people I know (i mean kinda sometimes? idk)

- I started saying something ironically and now I can’t stop saying it 

- There is something I would change about my personality (everything i would love to not be a bland robot)

ABILITY:

- I can sing well

- I can play an instrument (i can sort of play ukulele and guitar. and ocarina i guess lol. i also took recorder lessons when i was in primary school. now that was a bad time)

- I can do over 30 pushups without stopping (lol no)

- I am a fast runner (actually i can sprint really fast but for only like 10 seconds)

- I can draw well

- I have a good memory (HAHAHAHAHA NO)

- I am good at doing math in my head

- I can hold my breath underwater for over a minute (i used to when i was like a teen but my asthma and stuff has gotten real bad since then)

- I have beaten at least 2 people arm wrestling (idk probably i mean see aforementioned unbolded good memory i can’t even remember two days ago at all i must have beaten 2 people at arm wrestling. i mean i know i’ve wrestled the arm)

- I can make at least 3 recipes from scratch

- I know how to throw a proper punch (well i mean i can do a karate punch. you start with your fist closed and facing up, held next to like your hip and your elbow’s like pointed back, and then you thrust forward and up a bit and twist your fist down inwards, so you end up with it at chest level. idk)

HOBBIES:

- I enjoy sports (i feel like eventually i will end up watching something like women’s soccer or women’s basketball, because i am a pathetic virginal gay that can’t talk to and is unattractive to girls)

- I’m on a sports team at my school or somewhere else (i tried out for soccer twice. since i’m a fatass they didn’t go well)

- I’m in a orchestra or choir at my school or somewhere else (i was in primary school i have no idea why i think it’s cuz my grandma wanted me to be? but it wasn’t all bad i mean one time we went to like a choir competition and the conductor called me a boy so that was neat as fuck. man i got called a boy a lot when i was a kid it was fucking heaven compared to now, assholes calling me ma’am and shit man get fuckt)

- I have learned a new song in the past week (what does this mean? like to play on an instrument? bitch i can’t even concentrate long enough to learn Honeybee by Steam Powered Giraffe i just get discouraged and shit)

- I exercise at least once a week (listen i intend to rectify this and go swimming every day, now that i finally realised like last year that i actually have fucking dysphoria and that’s why i hated wearing swimsuits (aside from because i’m fat as shit and disgusting to witness in a fucking onepiece like what the fuck were my parents fucking thinking making me wear shit like that when i’m obese as sin) i’m gonna get board shorts and a rashguard and wear one of my less liked binders and it’ll be so fucking good)

- I have gone for runs at least once a week in warmer months (fuck off i’m not leaving my house in fucking summer it’s fucking 40°)

- I have drawn something in the past month

- I enjoy writing (man i haven’t properly written in like 7 years because idk depression but i still write stories in my head when i’m going to sleep at night and showering and whatever)

- Fandoms are my #1 priority

- I do some form of Martial arts (i used to do karate when i was uhhh 14?)

EXPERIENCES:

- I have had my first kiss (hahahahaha *sob* i fucking wish)

- I have had alcohol (yeah man i love jagerbombs and blue lagoons, defuckinglicious)

- I have scored a winning point in a sport (fuck sports)

- I have watched an entire TV series in one sitting (okay wait does this count for like rewatches? because when i saw my first anime i was obsessed with watching it - martian successor nadesico btw - for the entire day and that’s all i did, i sat in bed and watched it all morning to night)

- I have been at an overnight event (i meannnn when i went to see the last jedi slash meet some of my friends from my guild irl for the first time i stayed over at their house on the sofa and left the next morning does that count)

- I have been in a taxi (yeah it was only recently actually, our car fucking died and we had to take some convoluted fucking public transport out of our place from middle-of-dead-ass-fucking-nowhere-ville (needless to say i hate the suburb i live in. and country) to somewhere where we could get a taxi to a car rental place. or was it a dealership? i can’t fucking remember man do you see this shitty memory in action?? it was only like 2 years ago fuck me)

- I have been in the hospital or ER in the past year (well i was IN a hospital but that’s because i was going to a dental clinic in the building)

- I have beaten a video game in one day (what game can you beat in a day man???)

- I have visited another country (i haven’t got enough fucking money lad)

- I have been to one of my favorite bands’ concerts (listen fuck you i’m totally counting livestreamed concerts, i’ve seen all of Steam Powered Giraffe’s youtube concerts and the one recorded in 2013 and you bet your ass i’m gonna pay $20 for the right to see the film of the anniversary concert)

MY LIFE:

- I have one person that I consider to be my Best Friend (i kinda consider my friend bunny my best friend but i doubt he considers me his bestie)

- I live close to my school/work (HAHAHA GET REKT I TAKE MY UNI COURSES ONLINE AHAHAHA)

- My parents are still together

- I have at least one sibling (i mean technically i have 3 but i’ve never met them. at least i don’t think i have. they can get lost far as i’m concerned)

- I live in the United States (i wouldn’t live there if you paid me. maybe if obama were still president you could’ve got me to live there if you gave me like 5 million dollars, but now i would actually rather die)

- There is snow where I live right now (god i would fucking kill for some snow)

- I have hung out with a friend in the past month (yooo i was boutta unbold this because i have no fuckin friends except my online pals but then i remembered going to meet two of my friends from online and seeing star wars with them!! holy shit i feel validated and less lonely)

- I have a smartphone (samsung galaxy s6 BOI i am so fucking angry i was gonna hold out for the s7 cuz 7 is my second favourite fucking number (first is 14 but i wasn’t gonna wait a decade for that or w/e) anyway i finally decided to just get the s6 and the fucker asshole 7 is announced like a month later aaaaaarhghdks)

- I own at least 15 CDs (i have a whole fuck ton of videogames and they’re on CDs get owned HAHA FOILED but i also have probably about 15 CDs of music if i’m gonna count the stuff my family has)

- I share my room with someone (man my room isn’t even big enough for me how you gonna fit a whole nother person in that cupboard)

RELATIONSHIPS:

- I am in a Relationship (*cries uncontrollably*)

- I have a crush on a celebrity (well i mean i wouldn’t say no to like scarlett johansson if she told me she wanted to rail me. or gal gadot. or kate beckinsale. or kristen stewart. or - okay this is probably a massive list of ladies i want to rawdog me)

- I have a crush on someone I know (i’m slightly in love with all of my female friends because they show me kindness)

- I’ve been in at least 3 relationships (alright fucking buckle up kids: i don’t count online relationships because i’m a bitter person but when i was like 10 i was in a ‘relationship’ on runescape with a boy the same age at me and i legitimately think it was actually a kid like me and not a predator because all we did was stand next to each other and talk about cows or something and make the avatars kiss (we both had male avatars because i was obviously subconsciously aware of my gender identity at that stage). when i was like 13/14 i met a girl at a camp during the school holidays (i went to camp almost every holiday) and we chatted over msn after camp ended and tbh i think she forgot who i was because she suddenly said she liked me one day so i decided i liked her too and we started to ‘date’. lasted like 2 weeks? idk but she broke it off cuz i was inattentive (i can’t remember but i guess i could’ve been i’m not a very social person believe it or not *snicker*) anyway i saw her at the next two camps and it was hella fucking awkward the first time because i wanted to be friends with her but her other friends intimidated me so i just hovered around her creepily and she got angry at me and i got sad, but the 2nd time was a lot better i think, i was extremely distressed when i saw her at the bus station for the camp transport and i sulked the entire ride, but when we all got there i accidentally fell into her friend group (i actually think it’s because the other girls were really nice and they’d seen me sulking and wanted to cheer me up, man kinda fucked up huh) i pretty much ignored her the whole time and after camp ended she contacted me on msn for some reason and idk she like asked me how i’d felt when i saw her at camp and i was honest and told her i’d been pretty upset and then she got pissed at me and never spoke to me again. wow such drama huh? oh and my 3rd ‘relationship’ was when i was uhh 16/17-ish with this girl i met on some naruto fansite. i don’t even like naruto, and i actually remember absolutely nothing about my interactions with her. like at all. i don’t remember how we met or who dumped who or whatever bullshit. i’m not sure why this is i mean maybe it’s because this was at the same time i had a massive fucking obsessive infatuation with a girl at my school and well it didn’t turn out so hot and i think i’ve blocked out a lot of shit. anyway i hope you all enjoyed that wall of text haha of course you fucking didn’t. well tough titties me lad)

- I have never been in a relationship (*cries*)

- I have admitted my feelings to a crush (fuck no holy shit)

- I get crushes easily (yeah well if any female is nice to me i’m a goner. also one time during high school i started getting crushes on all the girls in my extended english class like i think it was a new girl each week. it was a tiny class there was only like 8 of us, no stinky boys (even if i’d realised i was trans at the time, i’m not stinky :P))

- I have had a crush for over a year (it was not fun)

- I have been in a relationship for over a year

- I have had feelings for a friend (do semi acquaintances count. or ‘girls that tolerated me enough to let me sit with them at lunch’)

RANDOM:

- I have break-danced

- I know a person named Jamie

- I have had a teacher that has a name that is hard to pronounce (listen i don’t fucking remember. but i’m good at pronunciations and shit anyway)

- I have dyed my hair (it was really short and blonde i kinda looked like a skinhead)

- I’m listening to a song on repeat right now (tongue tied from red dwarf)

- I have punched someone in the past week

- I know someone who has gone to jail

- I have broken a bone (broke my ankle in primary school because i’m fat and dumb and tried to slide along the grass into the safezone during tag or whatever, also i broke my wrist when i was 18 because i’m fat and dumb and i was learning how to drive a scooter but i went around a corner too slow or idk unbalanced or some shit, i think i broke the mirror on it but fuck that infernal machine i had to get fucking surgery and get pins in my wrist. when i got them out it was actually the closest i’ve ever come to fainting like the doctor dude was straining hard to pull these ones on the side out and when they finally popped out and a ton of blood gushed out i like deflated and teetered in my seat a bit it was an experience)

- I have eaten a waffle today (never had a waffle)

- I know what I want to do in life (well idk about an actual career but i want to write a book and get it published and make tons of bank)

- I speak at least two languages (i took japanese for 6 years don’t fucking tell me that doesn’t count just because i can’t carry a conversation in the language. also i took a class on latin for a semester it was dope af)

- I have made a new friend in the past year

[procrastinatorimagines]

I Want Us Part 1

Fandom: Chicago PD / SVU

Series: I Want Us

Part 1 // Part 2 // Part 3 // Part 4 // Part 5 // Part 6 // Part 7 // Part 8 // Part 9 // Part 10 (Final)

Character/s: Reader x Carisi

Warning/s: mentions of kidnapping

Word Count: 2,171

Request:  Hi! So, idk if you will be up for writing a kind of crossover, if not it's totally okay. I was thinking reader being a detective in chicago pd but they go help svu with a case and she and carisi (still detective) have something ?? First meeting and stuff or more deep as in long distance relationship and reader gets pregnant so one of them have to leave their city ?? Idk I want you to feel comfortable writing whatever inspires you more. Amazing work btw!!

Summary: When a child abduction case crosses state lines in New York, Intelligence flies out to meet the Special Victims Unit and track down the missing boy. With the clock ticking, both units decide to mix up partners in order to combine their knowledge of the case with knowledge of New York City, pairing Intelligence’s newest member Y/N with Detective Carisi.

“I’m telling you boss, it’s like he’s just vanished,” Adam insisted, leaning forward in his chair as he spoke to Voight, who was standing in front of a whiteboard filled with potential leads and locations of your suspect and his son, Logan, who he kidnapped in the early hours of the morning, none of which had panned out. 

Voight looked increasing frustrated, and you didn’t blame him, the father and your suspect, Ronny had just been released from Statesville for assault and battery of his former spouse and older child. You were all scared for this boy’s safety and well aware of how quickly the odds of survival decreased as the clock continued to tick. 

Jay and Hailey had interviewed the family, the mother Claire and his older sister Josie, and were now at Hailey’s desk going over the statements, with Jay obviously sat on it instead of on a chair. Kev and Vanessa had gone to the prison, talked to Ronny’s cell mate and old friends, the warden, anyone who might have overheard him mention any plans. Leaving you and Antonio to review any surveillance, put out BOLOS and search the bogus address Ronny had given his parole officer. 

You’d all turned up a sum total of nothing.

“There has to be something,” Voight addressed the room, facing his unit with conviction, “go back over what we’ve got so far, we must have missed something, overlooked something, anything.” 

Adam spoke up again and you knew why, he’d already gone back over the witness statements, reinterviewed everyone with Kim who said they might have seen or heard anything in the neighbourhood, it was a dead end. “Listen-”

“No, you listen,” Voight snapped and you winced a little, you might have all been thinking the same thing as Ruzek, but he was the only one who usually ever said what was on everybody’s minds, putting him on the receiving end of Voight’s temper. “Unless you want to go downstairs and tell that terrified mother that her son’s ‘just vanished’, you shut up and do you job, clear?” 

You’d been in the unit a couple of years now and you were damn proud to be here. No matter how frustrating this was, you still had faith that you would catch the bad guy, this unit did it’s job and it did it well, you just hoped you wouldn’t be too late for Logan.

Ruzek begrudgingly nodded and so did the rest of you even though Voight hadn’t waited for an answer, heading straight back into his office. Turning back in your chair to your desk, you looked to where you were midway through re-combing the surveillence in the area for any sign of a vehicle Ronny might have fled in. He only had one registered in his name, and you and Antonio had found it less than a block from the foreclosed house he’d put as his current residence. Someone had clearly been squatting there, but there wasn’t anything useful in the house or in the beat up old car. 

You were just starting to think that maybe they had actually vanished off of the face of the earth when Trudy made her way up the stairs. “CCTV camera just picked up Ronny and Logan, dyed hair and new clothes but facial rec seems to be a match,” she announced, getting all your attention as Voight made his way out of his office.

“Where?” He asked her, noticing the not so triumphant look on Trudy’s face.

“JFK Airport,” she replied, met with annoyed sighs and confused looks. How had he gotten there? You were shocked to say the least, you and Antonio had made sure to call all the airports in Chicago to make sure this guy didn’t flee. 

“He’s in New York?” Hailey looked to Voight, waiting like the rest of you were to be told what to do next. 

“One of his old prison buddies relocated there last year,” Kev told you all, rifling through his paperwork to find the information he was looking for, “yeah, Ryan O’Connell, got a rep for making people disappear, some that want to, some that don’t.” 

“Looks like we’re going to New York,” he decided, aware that the ever ticking clock was now getting faster, you needed to find them now. “I’ll call ahead, get some boots on the ground before we arrive, we’ll roll out as soon as we can. Upton, get the family up to speed, see if they know where he might go in New York.” She nodded.

You all packed up to leave, needing to make arrangements before you could just fly out. “Who’s he calling?” You asked your partner as you headed for the stairs. 

“Captain Benson I assume,” he told you, elaborating when he saw that that hadn’t clarified much, “oh I forget, you weren’t with us then. We’ve done a couple of cases with the Special Victims Unit over there, good people and cops, especially their Captain, this is their kind of case.” 

You nodded, you’d heard about some of the cases Intelligence had done in New York, especially about Nadia Decotis, and you were looking forward to getting the chance to work with them, circumstances aside. 

Voight text you all details about the flight and you left to prepare, you had a job to do and a boy to find, and you were determined to find him.

-

While the flight itself wasn’t actually that long, it felt like forever, ever second ticking past putting you and the unit further behind Ronny and Logan. You knew it would be straight to business the second your feet hit the tarmac, but Voight had assured you all that although he’d only had time to briefly fill SVU in about the case, they had made finding this boy their top priority. If it was good enough for Voight, it was good enough for you, so you passed the time by looking at everything you had on this O’Connell so you had somewhere to start when you arrived. 

There were cars waiting when you arrived, taking you straight to the 16th Precinct and the Special Victims Unit. It was much bigger than the 21st, and nicer too. You had never really spent any time in New York, but it was all just as impressive as you’d heard.

“Hank,” a woman smiled, making her way to greet you all at the entrance of the Unit’s bullpen. 

“Olivia,” Hank shook her hand with familiarity, this must have been the Captain. “It’s Captain now isn’t it, congratulations.”

“Thanks, it’s been an adjustment,” she replied, shaking hands with the rest of Intelligence and welcoming them inside.

“Well, it’s certainly well deserved,” Jay told her as the rest of SVU headed over to introduce, or reintroduce, themselves.

“Thanks Halstead,” she smiled, reaching you and Vanessa last. “We haven’t met, I’m Captain Olivia Benson,” she told you.

“Officer Vanessa Rojas,” Vanessa told her, following after Kev to be introduced to the rest of the Unit. 

“Detective Y/N. Y/L/N,” you continued, “I’ve heard good things.” 

“Likewise, Hank mentioned he had a couple of new members,” she said, leading you further into the main room, “this is Sergeant Tutuola, Detectives Rollins and Carisi, and Officer Tamin,” she gestured around the group as you all shook hands.

You could tell Voight wanted this part to hurry along, eager to get stuck into the case, so you said the generic ‘nice to meet yous’ and stepped out of the way as Voight and Benson positioned themselves at the front of the group. 

“So fill us in,” Voight addressed her as he passed out extra copies of your case files to the rest of SVU. 

“Okay, so we followed Ronny’s tracks as far as we could after he left JFK, but by the time any unis arrived he was in the wind, we’ve got BOLOS out but nothing so far, although a surveillance camera did pick up the vehicle he left in,” Benson explained.

“Plates?” You asked but she shook her head, bringing up a shot of the back of the car on the screen nearest to her. It was a long way away from your whiteboards and blue tac, you thought.

“Stollen, but we’re trying to match the make and model with any recent reports of car thefts,” she answered. 

“Any we’re tracking the names they used to get through airport security,” the male detective, Carisi, continued, “checking for any credit or debit cards under the same names as their fake passports.”

“They must have been good, do we know where Ronny got them from yet?” Hailey asked as Benson got up the images of their passports too, complete with fake names, fake addresses and disguises. 

“We’re thinking this O’Connell guy,” Tutuola told her, “he’s got the connections and experience, and this must have been in the works for a while.”

“Yeah, we’re looking at anyone and everyone he’s been in contact with in prison, seeing if any of them might have sent him any packages or had any New York connections,” Rollins said.

“We’ve already gone through the prison logs,” Jay countered, “we know O’Connell did time with him before he got out last year.”

“Yeah, but since then they don’t appear to have had any direct contact, so we’re thinking there’s a middle man, probably the figure you can see in the drivers seat of the car they took from JFK, O’Connell rarely does business in person, that’s why we only had him in for a minor possession stint,” Rollins grabbed a file on O’Connell’s record and handed it to Jay to flip through.

“Can we get a clearer image on that?” Adam asked, pointing to the blurred image of the car. You squinted at the image, trying to get a better look, but the man was clearly wearing a hat and shades, even if they managed to tidy it up, facial recognition would be a waste of time. 

“Unfortunately not, but we’re doing everything we can,” Benson said.

“So what now?” Antonio voiced up, all of you turning to your Sergeant and Captain Benson.

“We’re in your house, it’s your call,” Voight said to Benson. He had a lot of respect for her, you noted, he never gave up point on a case so easily.

“Well with your know-how on the case, and our knowledge of New York, we though it was best to combine teams, partner up one of us and one of yours,” she looked back at both units, still stood a little apart from one another, and you and Antonio shared the briefest glance, seeing the other partners in your unit do the same. 

You worked well together, all of you did, and let’s be honest, Intelligence had never been very good at sharing, but if it was what was best for Logan, so be it. It hadn’t escaped anyone’s notice that the numbers didn’t add up, so you waited to see who would be moved around. 

“Fin, you mind going with Dawson?” Benson gestured to the two men, who happily nodded and Antonio gave you an encouraging nod before he headed off the join the Sergeant at his desk. 

“Halstead and Rollins, Upton and Kat,” she continued with Voight’s approval and you knew you’d be next, she’d done her best not to split up any of Intelligence’s partners entirely. “Which leaves Carisi and Y/L/N,” you nodded and so did he.

“Well then, let’s get to it,” Voight ordered, “we’ve got a child to find before he disappears.” With that, he and Benson went to go talk in her office, leaving you all with your new partners. 

“First time in New York?” He asked you as he grabbed a chair for you to sit at his desk. You could see notes on the case covering most of the surface, potential locations O’Connell may use and streets that the car may have turned down after they lost it on surveillance, none of which looked familiar to you. 

“I got a connecting flight through here once,” you shrugged, feeling out of your element away from Chicago and fully understanding why Captain Benson thought it best to mix up the units. 

Carisi chuckled as you took your seat, pulling out the files you’d brought with you from Chicago. “We’re on O’Connell,” he explained, “these are all the files on his known and potential locations.”

You leaned closer to take a look at what he’d been doing. “That’s a lot of ground to cover,” you noted, feeling a sense of dread. O’Connell’s file had him as one of the best, and Ronny had a head start, they might not even be in the state anymore. 

Carisi seemed to sense your worry. “We’ve got traffic stops in and out of the city, ports and airports, he won’t slip through again,” he tried to reassure you, but you knew he wasn’t entirely convinced either. 

He handed you one of his files and you handed him one of yours. “Let’s get started.”

[imagining-supernatural]

Avenging Angel: Part 9

Summary: You’ve spent the last five years on a dangerous mission to solve the crime that wrongly imprisoned your father. When the Winchesters find you half-frozen on the side of a mountain, they make it their own mission to save your life and make sure you stay alive. But after five years of uncovering horribly dark secrets, you’ve learned not to trust anyone. Especially people who seem like they have good intentions.

Word Count: 1591

Warnings: None

A/N: Guys, I am so exhausted today. We got so much snow over the last few days that it took my roommate and I two hours, a trip to three stores to find a shovel, a snowplow, and her mechanic grandpa to dig our cars out of the snow. We were both late for work and we were both icicles. But hey! Now I have a better idea of how cold the reader was in the beginning!!

Part 1 – Part 2 – Part 3 – Part 4 -- Part 5 -- Part 6 -- Part 7 -- Part 8

Quentin walked in and you tossed the rag you were using to wipe down tables at Kallista. "Taking my fifteen."

After grabbing the order that Quentin had texted you a few minutes ago, you led him to a booth. It had been a month since you started working here, and despite your agenda, Quentin and you had actually become friends.

"I went on a date last night," you started while he took a bite of his sandwich.

"Oh yeah? How'd it go?"

"He didn't even know who Cyndi Lauper is. How can I be friends with someone, much less say yes to a second date if they don't know that girls just want to have fun?"

"You're telling me that his mother has never asked when he's gonna live his life right?"

"And he told me that his dad has never asked him what he's gonna do with his life. Unbelievable, right?"

"But you know that we're not the fortunate ones, and that daddy dear is still number one, right?"

"Uh, yeah. Duh," you glanced away just the right way to get Quentin to dig. You hated playing games with him like this. He was a good guy and a great friend. But you still needed info from him. After all, Daddy Dear was still number one in your life.

"What was that about?" He asked, setting his sandwich down.

"What was what about?"

"You did a thing just then." He made a vague hand motion in you general direction.

"It's just... my dad. He's in jail for a crime he didn't commit and I can't seem to do a damn thing to get him out."

The skin between Quentin's eyebrows creased in concern. "That's rough. I'm sorry."

You pretended to get so into your emotions that he would think you didn't realize that you were oversharing. "It's just... I lived with him my whole life. You think I would be the best person to know if he was capable of something like that."

"Something like what?"

You connected eyes with him and blinked a few times as if coming to your senses. "Sorry, I didn't realize I was-"

"Hey," he reached for one of your hands. "Whatever people think he did, I promise I won't think less of you."

"Even if I tell you people think he killed fourteen people in one night?"

Quentin stiffened, obviously putting the pieces together and figuring out who you really were. But you pretended to take his reaction a different way and pulled away. "See? Even you can't help but think that I'm the daughter of a killer."

As if offended, you stood and took a step away. But Quentin's hand in your arm pulled you to a stop. "Your father is Kemuny Y/L/N?"

"You—you know him?"

"Yeah. I actually worked with him a few years ago. Well, my firm did and I was kind of like a liaison." Quentin looked at you in a new light. “I forgot he had a daughter at MIT. What happened?”

“MIT was great. But there was the trial and everything and I don’t know… Life.”

Quentin motioned at the side of the booth you had just been sitting on, and you sat down again. “I couldn’t believe it when I saw the news.”

“Yeah, imagine getting that phone call.”

“I don’t know if it’s any consolation, but I really don’t believe that he’s actually guilty.”

*****

*****

“I still don’t think this is a good idea,” Sam said from the front seat.

“Then you can let me out at the next bus station and I’ll do it alone.” Neither Winchester said anything to that, but you knew that it wasn’t an option to them. They seemed pretty set on sticking around to help you. “Look, I’ve become level-eleven paranoid lately. If I thought there was even a chance that the Covingtons could be keeping an eye on where we’re going, then I wouldn’t go. But this is my secret. No one else knows.”

“And you’re just going to bring us right to your secret hideout?”

You pulled the oversized hoodie closer around you and looked out the window in the backseat. “Yeah, well, I’m kinda learning that you two are breaking all of my rules about trust.”

“What if there was some way the Covingtons could download all of your memories? Then they would know about this place and what is in it.”

Your head snapped toward Sam. Downloading memories as Sam put it, was some of your father’s research that he’d hidden away in his storage unit. Why would Sam know about it, much less be bringing it up now? “You… you believe in that sci-fi stuff?”

Sam glanced at Dean for a moment before twisting around in his seat to look at you. “You sound shocked.”

“Yeah, and like you know something,” Dean added.

While you contemplated how best to answer that, you arranged your face into a stony expression and kept your eyes on Sam’s. You trusted these men, despite knowing them for just over a week. But you couldn’t trust them with everything quite yet. They still owed you some answers.

“On your laptop you have this icon,” you spoke in carefully measured words. “The unicursal hexagram. What is it to you?”

Dean raised an eyebrow. “Uni-what?”

“Wait, are you talking about the Men of Letters symbol?” Sam asked.

“That thing has a name?” Dean asked.

“Men of Letters?” You took a moment to flip through your mental filing cabinet for anything on the Men of Letters, but came up short. “Who are the Men of Letters?”

“What did you think it was?” Sam shot back. From the way both Winchesters had squared their shoulders, you could tell this was a touchy subject for them.

“No idea. I saw it a few times and looked it up, but got nowhere. Who are the Men of Letters?”

“Long story.” Sam turned back to face forward.

You sighed. The three of you were professional secret-keepers, which was great for going through life alone. But if the Winchesters expected you to tell them about your personal mission, then they had to give you something too.

So you unbuckled, slid to the middle of the seat, and leaned forward so your head was between theirs. “Cards out, boys. Men of Letters, memory downloads, and I heard you whispering about eye flares and shifters a few days ago. What the hell is going on? Don’t try that long story crap with me. I can handle whatever you throw at me.”

“Are you sure?”

“I’m sure that some of my dad’s research had to do with memories, and another set of research talked about eye flares a lot. Those were the ones that I saw the hexagram doodled in the margins of his notes.” You caught Dean’s eyes in the rearview mirror for a moment then turned and locked eyes with Sam as well so that both of them would be able to see the truth. “If you know something, I deserve to know.”

Sam sighed in defeat. “You’re not gonna believe us.”

“Or what you have to say will clear up a lot of confusion in my life.”

“Fine. We think that the you that Braxton proposed to is a shifter. As in shapeshifter.”

Shapeshifter. The nagging thought that had been dancing at the corner of your mind for the last few months finally had a name. “Alright. Evidence?”

“Really?” Sam raised an eyebrow and turned his torso to face you. “Just like that, you believe me?”

“I’m keeping an open mind. Why do you think it’s a shapeshifter?”

“Uh, well shifters get this eye flare when caught on camera. In the videos of the press conferences, I thought I saw a small eye flare from you.” He gave you a moment to take that in before continuing. “But the other thing about shifters is that they become the person they shift into. They get all of that person’s memories. That’s why I’m not sure it’s a good idea to go to your secret place.”

“My dad inoculated me against that. It was one of his bigger projects and I saw in my notes that he injected me with a serum that supposedly protected your memories against any invasion when I was four. I didn’t understand any of that project until now, though. That’s how I know this place really is safe.” You pushed down the feeling of overwhelming insanity and forced yourself to focus and accept everything right now. “He also worked on these contacts that controlled how light reflected off the eyes of whoever was wearing them. That’s the eye flare project. What else should I know about shifters?”

“They can only be killed by silver.”

“Killed?” That had you sitting back in the seat. When had your life gotten to the point that death became a normal part of the conversation? Where someone would leave you for dead? “Alright. Silver kills them. There were a few tests and notes about silver throughout his research.”

“Maybe we should take a break and let you—“

“No! I don’t need time to think about this all. I need to know it all. Shapeshifters are real. Okay. I accept that. Moving on. What do I need to know about them?”

You grew up with the scientific method and you had shaped yourself with the structure of computer coding. As long as there was a shred of logic, you could keep going.

And you needed to keep going.

Part 10 of Avenging Angel

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[satanistwhodeviatedtogod-blog]

Euro 2018

it’s fun and games until we hit the epilogue

one more sleepless night Then book the cheapest flight

earlier this month (may) we went for a short trip to Europe. We planned it for a year. we went there for educational purposes, which is Euromun. It’s a United Nation conference simulation.

We went there as a group that consist of 4 person

my hyperactive friend, J

my wild but religious friend, Ali

my grumpy bitch, Bella

and of course me

4/5 of us are selected from a very tight selection to represent Universitas Diponegoro in Euromun. With a year of preparation and well not that much time to meet and get to know each other because we have our own activity, we finally make it to Europe.

We went into separate flight. Me and Bella went there on Monday, J and Ali went there on Tuesday. too bad. It was around 10 PM from Soekarno Hatta International Airport and we went to Turkey for transit. Having a glass of coffee and a cig then straight to Schipol Amsterdam.

after we arrived, Bella and i store our luggage at the airport and we go straight to Amsterdam Centraal. Not surprised that the smell of weed everywhere. giting terus bosku!

We had a really nice Italian Pizza for breakfast. Strolling around Amsterdam was so much fun. It was unexpectedly warm there, and we wear a jacket. lot of jacket gosh

after strolling around centraal, we went back to Schipol to take our luggage and go to Maastricht. it’s a hell of a atmosphere. No traffic jam, very clean environment, and bikes everywhere. not a long after we arrived, we got picked up by our host parents there. Shout out to Mr. Untung and Mr. Adriyan!

the next day, Bella and I went for a walk in the city of Maastricht. It’s like a city for student, but sure it’s waaaay different from Tembalang riot city. We’re not actually walking but we ride bikes, just like locals.

this place is lit. even thought there are less attraction than Amsterdam, this place it’s a good place to live.

the conference start 2 days after we arrived. we gather all our stuff, research, but not our brain. kiddin’. it’s located in MECC. it’s a really good place for a conference, since it’s provide so many room that big enough to provide all the participant. I’ll be represent India in ECOSOC council under the topic of Globalization and gig of economy. I met a lot of cool person there from France, Germany, Netherlands, Spain, Switzerland, and even Israel. Surprisingly they’re so nice and very friendly to me even thought i have a very different background from Indonesia. Cheers to all of my friends there! hope to see you soon. #ecoshot

after all those exhausting day in the conference, we went to Paris. the funny thing is, we haven’t book any place to stay. But hey, where’s the fun part if we already plan everything correctly right? joke. it’s no fun at all.

we went to Paris by bus. but before that, we went to Belgium first because why not. Lots of chocolate there. too bad we went there while the avengers went by. all the roads its like on renovation, F!

oh and we went to Comic Strips Museum. we met Asterix & Obelix, total classic. when we want to get back to the bus, we almost got left behind. We went to the wrong station and have no idea which train to take. after trying to figure it out, we finally make it literally on time. living on the edge huh?

so Paris. the city of love where everything is art, including steal things. Just like Jason Mraz album. there’s so many spot that we want to see, but 3 days and 2 night are not enough. So we only went to the mandatory places such as Louvre, Eiffel, Arc de Triumph and other shit. its one hell of a adventure.

First on the list is Louvre. Because its the nearest and most reachable. There’s a lot of people there (no shit deto). We took a couple of shot and then we went to the nearest and one of the coolest cafe, Cafe Kitsune.

I even bought a mug! #kenaikanstratasosial #cheapestthingicouldafford

then we stroll to do some thrift

l̶i̶f̶t̶i̶n̶g̶ shopping. It’s kinda took time because it’s far. but worth the time. I got some Yankees tee for only 1€! what a bargain. then we had some kebab. safest food we could eat.

Tired of shopping, we went back to our list. We went to the Arc de Triomphe. its so crowded. Lots of car. Cooler version of Simpang 5 #semarangjugakeren.

Enough taking picture and embracing it, We went for a religious trip to Notre Dame. it was a really good looking and ancient cathedral. Everyone was very friendly even though we are Muslim. There are a lot of terrorist attack that triggering bigotry, and yet the security of Notre Dame still smiling and say hi to us. There’s a preacher talking inside and also people attending for a regular religious activity, and yet it remind us its time to taraweh back in Jakarta hahaha.

right beside Notre Dame, there’s a really cool river. And just so you know, that’s where Rattatoullie drowned and decided whether he want to act as a chef or just live his life as a rat. Yes. I know. Not important but still.

after that we went to the last spot. looking for a cool place to enjoy the sunset. the symbol of Paris. yup. where else. It’s the Eiffel Tower. we also meet several Indonesian there. It’s easy to recognize them. we arrived in Eiffel at around 7 pm, and the sun are not yet tired shining. The first thing we seek are toilet. The toilet are disgusting if you don’t really look. after we found the proper toilet, it was very modern and breathtaking. All automated thing makes us believe that one day the terminator will took over the world.

The Eiffel tower was amazing. lots of family, friends and also couple hanging out to enjoy the dusk. No soulmate, no problem. I still got my friends! #denialkampret

Eiffel at night are the best. All those cool lamps and the cold vibes are beyond amazing. Also with my old friend, Gudang Garam Kretek, the nights are perfect. We sit together, we gaze the star, we talk nonsense and enjoy the night like there’s no tomorrow.

after strolling from Paris, we went back to Maastricht. One funny thing that keep happen, we always get on the bus literally on time. Means that once we hop in, the bus drove away. No. That’s not a good thing.

It’s our last day in Maastricht. One more chance to live the fullest in here. No lol kidding. None of our friends from other Indonesian uni still here. So we just rest, looking for ticket to Frankfurt, Germany and go to the city for one last time. I know there are nothing there but still, Maastricht is an interesting place to discover.

we went to the bus station at noon. it was quite a long trip. we arrived around midnight with no f-ing clue which bus or train or any public transport we should take. sitting for a few minutes on the street, trying to figure out which one is our ride to Ginnheim. we’re staying at my aunt’s. Special thanks to Tante Sila & Om Jabrik. they also lead us (patiently) how to get there.

in the morning (its almost 12pm) we go to the city. we went to one and only place that we’ve been craving, Primark. There like a shitload of cheap with decent quality product that worth to buy. Wont hesitate to spent so much money there. Tired of shopping, we went to a cafe on top of a building. We can see the whole city from that point of view. what a way to spent the afternoon.

the next morning, we stroll to the city again. but its weekend, means that all the shop are closed. so, no shopping day. so we took a walk around the city. that day was a special day for frankfurt. the night before, Eintracht win against Munchen and gain victory for the German Cup since 1988. the whole city celebrating. drinking beer, marching around. everyone’s happy and surprisingly no vandalism.

later that day, we met Ale from Brawijaya to hang out. We also meet several Indonesian who live in Frankfurt. We hang out in a park enjoying afternoon with beers and fries. Also smelling other people smoke weed which is nice.

It was Ramadhan so we look for breakfasting. We went to Chinese restaurant. You know, no rice means haven’t eat. After getting fueled, we went to a bar to spend the night. it was real fun. and also cold. Never forget the cold part. We went back at 3 am. No more trams, subway and buses. Well we also cant walk tho. Strolling around for a while, thinking how to get back home, we finally manage to find one last bus that headed to Ginheim. fyuh

The next day we went to Rudesheim. Caca and Ale invited us. it was a really nice small town for a quick escape. Like Cisarua hahaha. It takes around an hour and half. We hop on a cable train. It has a wonderful view. the cable cara leads to Niederwald Monument. Strolling around Rudesheim feels like hanging out in Diagon Alley. its so chilling seeing people from young age to an elderly hanging out and dancing to a cheerful music.

After an exhausting day, we went back to Frankfurt. Catching for some dinner because you know, stomach asking for a refuel.

The next day is our last day in Frankfurt. it was Monday, means that all the store are open. Working days, but holidays for us. We go straight to the city, buying things we don’t need and spending money we don’t have. We split and go nuts for goods. We went back before dark, because later that night we need catch bus straight back to Amsterdam. We have our last dinner and saying goodbye to the Tante Sila and family. Time flies.

We also meet our local frankfurter for the last time before we hop on the busses. See you when we see you!

Earlier in the morning, we arrived in Amsterdam. we want to go to Amsterdam central to end our happy holiday. But shit happens. We bought the wrong public transportation ticket, so we can’t use it for the trains. farts. after that, we hop on the bus. Its a little bit detour but why not. Its a fancy busses and not mikrolet. The whole city of Amsterdam looks like a human size miniature. Very well coordinated. long story short, we arrived in the Amsterdam Centraal. We store our luggage at the train station and go straight to the city. Getting lost in Amsterdam for one last time.

First we need to get fuel. We stop on another kebab restaurant and have pizza for dessert. Every corner of Amsterdam smells like weed. which is wrong. and nice on the same time. Also, we look for several souvenirs to take back home. Funny things are, we only spent like only a days in Amsterdam and 16 days in Europe. Amsterdam its like Netherlands main attraction, but we don’t have times although we’re like 16 days here. There are also a lot of street artist who drew alll those vintage shops in a vintage building. Very classic. We also went back to the Red Light District for a quick stroll. Because why not right. We also want to visit Anne Frank Museum and explore the canals by boat. but we don’t have time and have a plane to catch. later that day, we went back to the airport and call it a day. Me, Ali, and Bella took a same flight. J have a solo flight. So long!

It was super amazing trips. Good friends, Good times, Good company. All leads to breathtaking memory.

ps: if you’re lookin for how i ended up with bella, just ask her. i dont even have any clue.