#also makes my job that much harder
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Currently transcribing an interview for work and the interviewed wants to mansplain international language use and acquisition to the woman that has a phd in linguistics and is currently studying international language use and acquisition. I’m going insane.
#Anna talks#that man has no clear string of thought#it’s not that he doesn’t know the English words#he does#he just doesn’t think before he speaks#and it’s sooo annyoing#also makes my job that much harder
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actually i'm still thinking about the moral orel finale.
he has a cross on his wall. do you know how much i think about that bc it's a lot.
a lot of stories ((auto)biographical or fictional) centering escape from abusive/fundamentalist christianity result in the lead characters leaving behind christianity entirely. and that makes complete sense! people often grow disillusioned with the associated systems and beliefs, and when it was something used to hurt them or something so inseparable from their abuse that they can't engage with it without hurting, it makes total sense that they would disengage entirely. and sometimes they just figure out that they don't really believe in god/a christian god/etc. a healthy deconstruction process can sometimes look like becoming an atheist or converting to another religion. it's all case by case. (note: i'm sure this happens with other religions as well, i'm just most familiar with christian versions of this phenomenon).
but in orel's case, his faith was one of the few things that actually brought him comfort and joy. he loved god, y'know? genuinely. and he felt loved by god and supported by him when he had no one else. and the abuses he faced were in how the people in his life twisted religion to control others, to run away from themselves, to shield them from others, etc. and often, orel's conflicts with how they acted out christianity come as a direct result of his purer understanding of god/jesus/whatever ("aren't we supposed to be like this/do that?" met with an adult's excuse for their own behavior or the fastest way they could think of to get orel to leave them alone (i.e. orel saying i thought we weren't supposed to lie? and clay saying uhhh it doesn't count if you're lying to yourself)). the little guy played catch with god instead of his dad, like.. his faith was real, and his love was real. and i think it's a good choice to have orel maintain something that was so important to him and such a grounding, comforting force in the midst of. All That Stuff Moralton Was Up To/Put Him Through. being all about jesus was not the problem, in orel's case.
and i know i'm mostly assuming that orel ended up in a healthier, less rigid version of christianity, but i feel like that's something that was hinted at a lot through the series, that that's the direction he'd go. when he meditates during the prayer bee and accepts stephanie's different way to communicate, incorporating elements of buddhism into his faith; when he has his I AM A CHURCH breakdown (removing himself from the institution and realizing he can be like,, the center of his own faith? taking a more individualistic approach? but Truly Going Through It at the same time), his acceptance (...sometimes) of those who are different from him and condemned by the adults of moralton (stephanie (lesbian icon stephanie my beloved), christina (who's like. just a slightly different form of fundie protestant from him), dr chosenberg (the jewish doctor from otherton in holy visage)). his track record on this isn't perfect, but it gets better as orel starts maturing and picking up on what an absolute shitfest moralton is. it's all ways of questioning the things he's been taught, and it makes sense that it would lead to a bigger questioning as he puts those pieces together more. anyway i think part of his growth is weeding out all the lost commandments of his upbringing and focusing on what faith means to him, and what he thinks it should mean. how he wants to see the world and how he wants to treat people and what he thinks is okay and right, and looking to religion for guidance in that, not as like. a way to justify hurting those he's afraid or resentful of, as his role models did.
he's coming to his own conclusions rather than obediently, unquestioningly taking in what others say. but he's still listening to pick out the parts that make sense to him. (edit/note: and it's his compassion and his faith that are the primary motivations for this questioning and revisal process, both of individual cases and, eventually, the final boss that is christianity.) it makes perfect sense as the conclusion to his character arc and it fits the overall approach of the show far better. it's good is what i'm saying.
and i think it's important to show that kind of ending, because that's a pretty common and equally valid result of deconstruction. and i think it cements the show's treatment of christianity as something that's often (and maybe even easily) exploited, but not something inherently bad. something that can be very positive, even. guys he even has a dog he's not afraid of loving anymore. he's not afraid of loving anyone more than jesus and i don't think it's because he loves this dog less than bartholomew (though he was probably far more desperate for healthy affection and companionship when he was younger). i think it's because he figures god would want him to love that dog. he's choosing to believe that god would want him to love and to be happy and to be kind. he's not afraid of loving in the wrong way do you know how cool that is he's taking back control he's taking back something he loves from his abusers im so normal
#i had a really big fundie snark phase a year or two ago so that's part of like. this. but im still not used to actually talking about#religious stuff so if it reads kinda awkwardly uhh forgive me orz idk#maybe it sounds dumb but i like that the message isn't 'religion is evil'. it easily could have been. but i think the show's points about#how fundie wasp culture in particular treats christianity and itself and others would be less poignant if they were like. and jesus sucks#btw >:] like. this feels more nuanced to me. i guess there's probably a way to maintain that nuance with an ultimately anti-christian#piece of media but i think it'd be like. wayy harder and it's difficult for me to imagine that bc i think a lot of it would bleed out into#the tone. + why focus on only These christians when They're All also bad? so you'd get jokes about them in general#and i think that's kinda less funny than orel and doughy screaming and running from catholics lsdkjfldksj#i think the specificity makes it more unique and compelling as comedy and as commentary. but that's just me#like moralton represents a very particular kind of christian community (namely a middle class fundie wasp nest)#you're not gonna be able to get in the weeds as much if you're laughing at/criticizing all christians. but they accomplish it so thoroughly#and WELL in morel and i think that's because it chose a smaller target it can get to dissect more intimately. anyway#moral orel#orel puppington#(OH also when i say wasp here i mean WASP the acronym. as in white anglo-saxon protestsant. in case the term's new to anyone <3)#maybe it's also relevant to say that i'm kindaaaaaaaa loosely vaguely nonspecifically christian. so there's my bias revealed#i was never raised like orel but i like to think i get some of what's going on in there y'know. in that big autistic head of his#but it's not like i can't handle anti-christian/anti-religious media/takes. i'm a big boy and also i v much get why it's out there yknow#christianity in specific has a lot of blood on its hands from its own members and from outsiders and people have a right to hate it for tha#but religion in all its forms can be positive and i appreciate the nuance. like i've said around 20 times. yeah :) <3#(<- fighting for my life to explain things even though my one job is to be the explainer)
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not only did ekky try to paw at the puck like a kitty cat with a laser pointer
he also gave knighter enough space to trap it down with his glove as ekky makes sure that a stray knee doesnt knock into him in the process
a new STOP FIGHTINGGGGGG has hit the towers and baby its got a dash of homoeroticism
if you like to know what it looks like to love thy goalie this is how you love thy goalie
florida panthers @ columbus blue jackets | 10.15.24
#aaron ekblad#spencer knight#florida panthers#2425#ekky ass up on the ice. well thats just another tuesday night around here.#ekky presenting in front of everyone and god is just typical#she unfortunately goes down a little easy#but hey we like her because of that!#(bonks my helmet against yours in love) (also i want to kiss you so badly but alas the bonk prevents us)#so much love stored in the bonk#knighter i know it doesnt seem like we love you with the way we make your job 10 times harder than it needs to be#but we do love you a lot sometimes we're just a little dumb#ekky couldnt help himself he saw knighter and his goalie love senses went off he said I NEED TO SHOW HIM I APPRECIATE HIM SO MUCH
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On Wednesday before I gave my presentation I confessed to a new employee that I was worried it would be too long and she brightly told me her life hack was to just let AI rewrite things for her. She said I should put in all my talking points and ask ChatGPT to give me a five minute exactly presentation. I was like....how is the most polite possible way (since this is a new colleague I shouldn't get off on the wrong foot with) that I can express that I will Not be taking this advice. Ever. I told her that I didn't think we were allowed to use ChatGPT at this job (we most certainly are not, it is a nightmare for any type of protected information) and also that I prefer to write all of my own work. Despite my best efforts the last part of that was still passive aggressive, lol.
Something about being a writer makes it so that it's almost offensive to me for someone to suggest I use AI to do my work instead? Like, the day I reach the point where I let AI write something for me is the day y'all need to be checking me for brain damage because clearly I'm losing it
#i also told her i was capable of making a 5 minute presentation but that i had too much information to cover to explain the project in 5 min#and she was like oh that makes sense!!#but like im sorry 😭am i the insane one or like....#idk to me suggesting I use AI isn't a helpful suggestion it reads as someone telling me i don't know how to do my job#does that make sense?#i don't consider it a lifehack or working smarter instead of harder. it seems like you're suggesting i am incapable of writing well myself#i know a lot of people right now thing AI is the best thing ever#to me it's a blatant omission that you can't do your own work or think for yourself#this is also even crazier of a suggestion to me because that morning i had TWO managers on call debating wording of a sentence#like we were reveiwing this presentation tightly so that we said exactly what we wanted to and met the standards of our administration#chatgpt is not going to understand the nuances of what we can/cannot say or official/approved wording lol#i think we use ai tools in the sense of like...photoshop generative fill or ai stuff in scientific research/arcgis#but i'm like 99% sure we were banned from using chatgpt over privacy concerns of putting controlled information into it#anyway. idk. i know not everyone writes as well as i do.#but i'd rather read bad writing that came from a person than something that was generated for you tbh#and i will help review my colleagues' writing any day
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What if you and engi traded bodies for a day would you be any good in each other's jobs on the team?
ohh well,, we have very different areas of expertise. for me to do dells job.. the multitasking is no problem, but i am not nearly as mechanically inclined as he is. and vice versa i have no doubt he can think on the fly just as well as i can, but he doesnt have the same medical knowledge as i do
#of course with the advent of the mediguns.. well i suppose he could figure out how to use them#i do not think it would be very difficult#but without them i think he would have a much harder time doing my job#ah but this is why we make such a good team!#he has the mechanical know-how that i lack and i have the medical expertise he may also sometimes need for a project!#the doc is in#tf2
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{COMMISSIONS}
#my art#my oc#rambles?#MY BODY HAVE BEEN RUNNING ON NOTHING BUT COFFEE WITH MILK AND A PACK OR TWO OF CRACKERS#WHY HAVENT MY BODY GIVE UP YET???#and if you ask me no#me and my folks do not have enough money to just buy anything that EVERYONE in here will eat#the cheap thing is sushi#AND I HATE SUSHI#SUSHI MAKE DIZZY AND MAKE ME WANT TO PUKE#BURGER IS TOO EXPENSIVE#PIZZA TOO#do you know how much it is a coke of 500ml in here???#and im not talking about the 12 pack of coke#no#ALSO#THE CRACKERS ARE DONE#I JUST ATE THE LAST PACK#I lost my job a few weeks ago too and they still didn't pay me for the days I worked#I NEED TO CONSUME MEAT#i only ate coffee with milk and crackers yesterday#is getting harder and harder to just stay awake during the day#my body cant work like this forever#i need a job
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Hm. I really wish my brain worked the way it's supposed to.
#i just#yeah my biggest problem rn is that the task of finding an apartment seems like an insurmountable task#but also just little things like i haven't gotten a haircut since may last year#and i only just managed to make an appointment to get my id and passport renewed#it's been expired for four years and i once got as far as to select an appointment date but then i just. Didn't.#why you might ask? No idea!#idk why my brain decides to put roadblocks literally everywhere but it's making my life so much harder#and i just wish everything wasn't such a struggle#honestly if i hadn't been offered my job right after my apprenticeship with the same company i don't know where I'd be now#job search is just as daunting as an apartment search and even just applying for the apprenticeship was like pulling teeth#if I'd had to do that again who's to say i wouldn't just have procrastinated again?#my dudes i am a mess and i would like to not be a mess but HOW#personal
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do love how this is an asoiaf blog but i did not put either show in my top 10 this is the world we live in
#the only season that really compares to the book is season 1.#the rest even when they’re engaging have changed something that feels so central to the hook that i’m mad aksjd.#getting on my soap box#if iwtv s3 is good it may knock someone out. probably qaf.#bsg is p high up there i just think season 4 really suffered on pacing & the suspicious nature of who dies annoyed me.#veep is also very high up there tbh i need to rewatch it. the thing is. as we know. i am a romantic at heart and amy & jonah have my favorit#sitcom relationship. veep has genuinely one of the best finales to ever exist but i’m a sap.#and amy coming back to tell jonah that he made her realize she doesn’t actually have to expect the worst from life. oh my god.#also superstore >>> parks & rec >>> the office bc superstore never romanticized the hell of their job#amy quitting her corporate job when she realized she would never be able to make the changes she wanted within the system she was always#going to compromise too much and wind up like jeff. glenn reopening his dad’s hardware shop & specifically who goes w him & who stays w gina#at the store? it has what the other two lack which is characters that feel like they keep existing after you stop watching#BECAUSE the way they interacted with the world was so real and so much more realistic. amy can’t fix the system but she can find a job that#she doesn’t feel is so soul sucking. glenn may be choosing a harder path by reopening the hardware store but it’s the one that makes him#most fulfilled. gina just gets to make money and be bossy w people who do what they’re told. that rings so true to me.#i almost out bojack horseman in here too actually but once again i think the last season just needed to be a tad longer just like bsg.#also same issue w pitch as w bly manor - it’s an amazingly written season of tv but it’s ONE season of tv#big brother as always outsells yes i am hoping to tempt some of u into watching by posting dan & ian in the dog costume#i have that gif and the ‘sit’ scene saved on my phone always
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Presenting: The Great KinnPorsche Fashion Showdown (nobody asked for)
A few weeks ago, I made a poll about the best dressed KinnPorsche character. Tankhun won that one, followed by Vegas and Tay. Legitimate results - but the tags had some really interesting arguments for a bunch of different contenders. So why don't we take a closer look? Why don't we go through all the characters and their outfits one by one, choose the best one for each of them and repeat the initial poll at the end?
Sooo...that's exactly what we're doing right now.
*For the characters with more than 10 outfits - like Porsche here - I'm going to make multiple polls and put the best voted ones into a final one
Tankhun - Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | FINAL CONTENDERS (CLOSED) - WINNER: THE CAPE 🎉🎉🎉
Vegas - Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | FINAL CONTENDERS (CLOSED) - WINNER: THE WITCHY SHIRT*TM 🎉🎉🎉
Kim - Part 1 (CLOSED) | Part 2 (CLOSED) | FINAL CONTENDERS (WHITE T-SHIRT*TM vs. BLACK TANK TOP OF DEATH) - (closes April 6th!!!)
Porsche - Part 1 (closes April 9th) | Part 3 coming soon
You can find the links to all the polls (as I gradually post them) HERE (pinned on my profile).
LET'S GET VOTING! 🎉
#Porsche is the guy who sees a t-shirt he likes and buys it in every single colour available#i respect that#even though it makes my job of naming these voting options SO much harder 😂💀#there's only so much you can say about t-shirt + pants combinations you know#and ngl: it's incredible difficult to decipher between the black and the dark blue t-shirt in some of the scenes#that's why I just called it dark shirt sometimes (I think the dark blue t-shirt at the beginning of ep. 8 is actually a continuity error#or Porsche switched from the black to the blue one because Vegas spilled his drink on it I don't know#...I'm the only one who cares about this right? 💀#there's also a continuity error with the pants in ep. 5...but I'll just shut up now 😂✌🏻)#BTW (if you're still reading this lol): it's the last day to vote in Kim's final contenders poll! 😊#kinnporche the series#the great kinnporsche fashion showdown#porsche kittisawasd#kinnporsche polls#kinnporsche fashion#kinnporsche costumes#kinnporsche outfits#in the queue you go
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#Eefa sells her labour#Look I am PRO CRIMES AND PRO SCAMS#but the guy who has scammed himself into the social media manager job at my work is a fucking nightmare#If he would sit in a corner and quietly scam the company out of a salary for a position we DO NOT NEED#I would respect him#However he keeps making it harder for me to to my job#And physically taking things i'm working on away from me to butcher#Like I don't want to brag but i'm a trained and experienced facilitator. I was a university lecturer#Do you really think itms your job to add more animations into my slide shows??? Social media man???#He is also clearly like. Using Google to search for images because he keeps adding incorrectly id'd species#I will find a nice creative commons pic of a plant i'm talking about and he will be like#:) I have my sources *changes it to something that lives in new zealand* :)#Like dude u don't need to be an expert but you have to understand that there are things you don't know. That I DO.#I have been trying to avoid him as much as possible but occasionally I'll be like. OK I am going to give him a chance#Maybe he's not that bad#And i'll let him look at an Instagram post or something#And then he RUINS EVERYTHING AGAIN#Me Fein
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shit went down at work today and there's a chance they'll fire me 🙃
#my boss will talk to the ceo tomorrow and it's entirely up to him.......#multiple people at work saw me crying and i was so ashamed i wanted to cry even more lol#i'm just so bad at this job and i hate it but it's so hard to find a job when you dropped out of uni twice#and they pay well and i truly love some of the people there#like my boss expects me to do better (if i won't get fired) and she wants me to propose some improvements#but like. the problem is me. the workload is too much for me and there's no magic way to solve it#and the worst part is i'm so emotionally unstable i can't even talk about it without crying#i'm crying even now lol#and i know if i start crying tomorrow it will only annoy him#and i'm not doing it to seem pitiful i just can't control it at all#godd i'm so tired#i wish i could just cry it out today and then have a serious conversation tomorrow but it doesn't work like that#i had plans today but i start crying every 10 minutes so i just came back home and opened a beer#maybe it will put me to sleep idk#at this point i'm also annoyed with myself#i will let you know how it goes tomorrow 🙃#k.txt#dl#btw please don't try to comfort me because it only makes me cry harder lol i'm just writing to let it all out
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having horrible. horrible ideas that will make my story better but also make my job 10x harder
#crunchyposts#ttf#it calls me................... the siren song of slow burn#anyways so yall know how ttf has been way easier to write for me bc i already have the outline basded on fall guy#now what if. i made my job harder. by changing that layout. to something that wasnt at all in the movie#the movie takes place over like 2????? 3?????? days and thats fun and i was happy w it but then the story changed#and now i am like. i think i should extend that period of time#i wont spoil what im thining of but this wil be much harder for me but will also solve a lot of character problems ive been having#or make it worse. who knows. lets fucking find out
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attention spans dont real lmao. nothing about the condition or support needs of yr adhd can be measured by measuring yr attention span because the nature of adhd is that attention span is incredibly variable. this is bc adhd is characterized by dopamine seeking behavior and not just a timer until we get bored and go on our phones
#attention span is also variable regardless of the perceived value of the activity#im sure i could pay attention longer scrolling tumblr than in a class. and in that scenario the class would be more valuable to me#but i also concentrate better on swimming (intense exercise) than busywork in school (serves no purpose to me)#thats to say that we arent stereotypical defiant kids who dont want to do anything but play video games#the internal experience of adhd is needing a higher level of motivation and satisfaction to initiate difficult tasks#so mundane things are almost always harder than for someone who doesnt have executive function#ill put it really bluntly. yes more so than usual. take cover#adhd isnt tiktok brain. some of us lose jobs over this shit. some of us cut ourselves over this shit. some of us cannot function.#it is not and will never be a 'man up and get off instagram reels' disorder. it will exist no matter what i do. adhd is part of me#and on many things the world needs to make concessions to us. sorry!#it may not seem like much from an outsiders perspective to 'build back yr attention span'#but when im constantly fucking up and constantly reminded of how my executive dysfunction + lack of focus hurt me#its kind of weird to think that building back my attention span hasnt occurred to me#dont remember who said this but if you dont feel the wind its blowing in yr direction#(this is not a rebuttal to a popular post this is my addition to the discourse about adhd surrounding it)
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service manager at one of the dealerships is leaving and everyone is like “omg… how will we get through this… how will anything get done” meanwhile this is a 36 year old guy who spends his whole day sitting at his desk with his airpods in playing subways surfers and vaping and he gets mad at you when you tell him his desk phone is ringing so it’s like idk i definitely think we can do better than this actually
#he makes more than any of us do also <3#and he’s a dick#i normally wouldn’t complain about a guy wasting time this much bc who cares#but he makes my job harder AND he’s mean so i hope he d**s actually
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i feel like the makeup standards are not necessarily going to get Worse, just. stay the Same. "raised by sephora and ulta" christ alive yall act like this shit is new. as if this hasnt been the standard to blast young girls with makeup ads and shit via magazine and tv and imposed beauty standards anyway. the only real difference is like, idk, accessibility of tutorials for how to apply it well
#toy txt post#spoken as. a no makeup bitch#altho i have also been accused by a terf of wearing a pound if makeup for wearing. visible lipstick in a selfie. and that was It#the actual Beauty Standard has largely stayed the exact fucking same of like making your skin texture as fake as possible#that was the standard back then too but it was harder to achieve /know how to do it cos there werent tutorials the same way now#also yes sephora and ulta are evil and all that but like the same amount theyve always been.#yall really acting like these imposed beauty standards being exposed to children is like a new unique tiktom thing thats never happened#before. and yall blaming instagram are no fuckin better. this has been happening The Entire God Damn Time#also theres something rubbing me about the way this is getting talked about. 'she did all thos other arbitrary bullshit except this#One Thing! the discrimination against this one thing is awful!#and like. it is. but i feel like we could address that while also maybe stepping back a tiny bit further and questioning these arbitrary#standards of professionalism too while we're at it#why does she have to have a blazer either? why do the earrings have to be understated#why do the colors have ti be bland and boring? why does he hair have to be a natural color and gender conforming ?#etc etc etc#like if we're accepting all that other shit the ppl upset about this could acknowledge she might experience similar discrimination for say#very obvious goth or punk-y makeup or anything a little too far outside the bounds of the acceptable beauty standard#everyone is pissed about 'eyeliner sharp enough to kill a man' but theyd be saying nothing if she was discriminated for fuckin#big wings and black lipstick bc well thats Obviously not professional standard makeup. okay?#if we change how we look at professional standards of dress and makeup as a whole to include Fucking Freak Bitches#then it would be a lot easier to include No Makeup in there as welllllll#idk#im a no makeup bitch with blue hair whos only ever worked in warehouses so they didnt give too much of a shit about my lack of makeup#or blue hair as long as i didnt show up in like flip flops which is a Reasonable dress code bc its got an actual fucking reason#(safety so you dont lose your goddamn toes to a box or a grate or some shit) vs it makes the office corpo bros sad#anyway idk if you have the privilege to get away with it i think you should dress weirder in the office to get them used to weirder dress#maybe instead of Suddenly going No Makeup sort of slowly lessen the amount so its not a Sudden change or smth#again: if you have the privilege and job security to get away with it#also also also: easier to get away with if you were to say. mask. js. they cant get mad at schrodingers lack of lipstick
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My short stint as a groomer trainee left me with horrors (the normalized neglect of pet dogs), respect (for all that groomers deal with), and so so much love for those tiny little dogs.
#someone walked by my table and said 'oh a chihuahua' in That tone and I almost bit them#don't disrespect my little chi he was basically perfect#a lady brought her little doodle puppy into the salon in a shiny bag and I have never been more obsessed#the urge to get a tiny little dog is continually growing#Pichael is just a little too cool with too much potential#I need a dog that makes it so nobody takes me seriously#I feel bad for not having what it takes to do the grooming thing but also#it's harder than my warehouse job#It was easier to pack an entire truck than groom one (1) uncooperative husky
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