#also makes my job that much harder
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Currently transcribing an interview for work and the interviewed wants to mansplain international language use and acquisition to the woman that has a phd in linguistics and is currently studying international language use and acquisition. I’m going insane.
#Anna talks#that man has no clear string of thought#it’s not that he doesn’t know the English words#he does#he just doesn’t think before he speaks#and it’s sooo annyoing#also makes my job that much harder
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actually i'm still thinking about the moral orel finale.
he has a cross on his wall. do you know how much i think about that bc it's a lot.
a lot of stories ((auto)biographical or fictional) centering escape from abusive/fundamentalist christianity result in the lead characters leaving behind christianity entirely. and that makes complete sense! people often grow disillusioned with the associated systems and beliefs, and when it was something used to hurt them or something so inseparable from their abuse that they can't engage with it without hurting, it makes total sense that they would disengage entirely. and sometimes they just figure out that they don't really believe in god/a christian god/etc. a healthy deconstruction process can sometimes look like becoming an atheist or converting to another religion. it's all case by case. (note: i'm sure this happens with other religions as well, i'm just most familiar with christian versions of this phenomenon).
but in orel's case, his faith was one of the few things that actually brought him comfort and joy. he loved god, y'know? genuinely. and he felt loved by god and supported by him when he had no one else. and the abuses he faced were in how the people in his life twisted religion to control others, to run away from themselves, to shield them from others, etc. and often, orel's conflicts with how they acted out christianity come as a direct result of his purer understanding of god/jesus/whatever ("aren't we supposed to be like this/do that?" met with an adult's excuse for their own behavior or the fastest way they could think of to get orel to leave them alone (i.e. orel saying i thought we weren't supposed to lie? and clay saying uhhh it doesn't count if you're lying to yourself)). the little guy played catch with god instead of his dad, like.. his faith was real, and his love was real. and i think it's a good choice to have orel maintain something that was so important to him and such a grounding, comforting force in the midst of. All That Stuff Moralton Was Up To/Put Him Through. being all about jesus was not the problem, in orel's case.
and i know i'm mostly assuming that orel ended up in a healthier, less rigid version of christianity, but i feel like that's something that was hinted at a lot through the series, that that's the direction he'd go. when he meditates during the prayer bee and accepts stephanie's different way to communicate, incorporating elements of buddhism into his faith; when he has his I AM A CHURCH breakdown (removing himself from the institution and realizing he can be like,, the center of his own faith? taking a more individualistic approach? but Truly Going Through It at the same time), his acceptance (...sometimes) of those who are different from him and condemned by the adults of moralton (stephanie (lesbian icon stephanie my beloved), christina (who's like. just a slightly different form of fundie protestant from him), dr chosenberg (the jewish doctor from otherton in holy visage)). his track record on this isn't perfect, but it gets better as orel starts maturing and picking up on what an absolute shitfest moralton is. it's all ways of questioning the things he's been taught, and it makes sense that it would lead to a bigger questioning as he puts those pieces together more. anyway i think part of his growth is weeding out all the lost commandments of his upbringing and focusing on what faith means to him, and what he thinks it should mean. how he wants to see the world and how he wants to treat people and what he thinks is okay and right, and looking to religion for guidance in that, not as like. a way to justify hurting those he's afraid or resentful of, as his role models did.
he's coming to his own conclusions rather than obediently, unquestioningly taking in what others say. but he's still listening to pick out the parts that make sense to him. (edit/note: and it's his compassion and his faith that are the primary motivations for this questioning and revisal process, both of individual cases and, eventually, the final boss that is christianity.) it makes perfect sense as the conclusion to his character arc and it fits the overall approach of the show far better. it's good is what i'm saying.
and i think it's important to show that kind of ending, because that's a pretty common and equally valid result of deconstruction. and i think it cements the show's treatment of christianity as something that's often (and maybe even easily) exploited, but not something inherently bad. something that can be very positive, even. guys he even has a dog he's not afraid of loving anymore. he's not afraid of loving anyone more than jesus and i don't think it's because he loves this dog less than bartholomew (though he was probably far more desperate for healthy affection and companionship when he was younger). i think it's because he figures god would want him to love that dog. he's choosing to believe that god would want him to love and to be happy and to be kind. he's not afraid of loving in the wrong way do you know how cool that is he's taking back control he's taking back something he loves from his abusers im so normal
#i had a really big fundie snark phase a year or two ago so that's part of like. this. but im still not used to actually talking about#religious stuff so if it reads kinda awkwardly uhh forgive me orz idk#maybe it sounds dumb but i like that the message isn't 'religion is evil'. it easily could have been. but i think the show's points about#how fundie wasp culture in particular treats christianity and itself and others would be less poignant if they were like. and jesus sucks#btw >:] like. this feels more nuanced to me. i guess there's probably a way to maintain that nuance with an ultimately anti-christian#piece of media but i think it'd be like. wayy harder and it's difficult for me to imagine that bc i think a lot of it would bleed out into#the tone. + why focus on only These christians when They're All also bad? so you'd get jokes about them in general#and i think that's kinda less funny than orel and doughy screaming and running from catholics lsdkjfldksj#i think the specificity makes it more unique and compelling as comedy and as commentary. but that's just me#like moralton represents a very particular kind of christian community (namely a middle class fundie wasp nest)#you're not gonna be able to get in the weeds as much if you're laughing at/criticizing all christians. but they accomplish it so thoroughly#and WELL in morel and i think that's because it chose a smaller target it can get to dissect more intimately. anyway#moral orel#orel puppington#(OH also when i say wasp here i mean WASP the acronym. as in white anglo-saxon protestsant. in case the term's new to anyone <3)#maybe it's also relevant to say that i'm kindaaaaaaaa loosely vaguely nonspecifically christian. so there's my bias revealed#i was never raised like orel but i like to think i get some of what's going on in there y'know. in that big autistic head of his#but it's not like i can't handle anti-christian/anti-religious media/takes. i'm a big boy and also i v much get why it's out there yknow#christianity in specific has a lot of blood on its hands from its own members and from outsiders and people have a right to hate it for tha#but religion in all its forms can be positive and i appreciate the nuance. like i've said around 20 times. yeah :) <3#(<- fighting for my life to explain things even though my one job is to be the explainer)
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not only did ekky try to paw at the puck like a kitty cat with a laser pointer
he also gave knighter enough space to trap it down with his glove as ekky makes sure that a stray knee doesnt knock into him in the process
a new STOP FIGHTINGGGGGG has hit the towers and baby its got a dash of homoeroticism
if you like to know what it looks like to love thy goalie this is how you love thy goalie
florida panthers @ columbus blue jackets | 10.15.24
#aaron ekblad#spencer knight#florida panthers#2425#ekky ass up on the ice. well thats just another tuesday night around here.#ekky presenting in front of everyone and god is just typical#she unfortunately goes down a little easy#but hey we like her because of that!#(bonks my helmet against yours in love) (also i want to kiss you so badly but alas the bonk prevents us)#so much love stored in the bonk#knighter i know it doesnt seem like we love you with the way we make your job 10 times harder than it needs to be#but we do love you a lot sometimes we're just a little dumb#ekky couldnt help himself he saw knighter and his goalie love senses went off he said I NEED TO SHOW HIM I APPRECIATE HIM SO MUCH
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On Wednesday before I gave my presentation I confessed to a new employee that I was worried it would be too long and she brightly told me her life hack was to just let AI rewrite things for her. She said I should put in all my talking points and ask ChatGPT to give me a five minute exactly presentation. I was like....how is the most polite possible way (since this is a new colleague I shouldn't get off on the wrong foot with) that I can express that I will Not be taking this advice. Ever. I told her that I didn't think we were allowed to use ChatGPT at this job (we most certainly are not, it is a nightmare for any type of protected information) and also that I prefer to write all of my own work. Despite my best efforts the last part of that was still passive aggressive, lol.
Something about being a writer makes it so that it's almost offensive to me for someone to suggest I use AI to do my work instead? Like, the day I reach the point where I let AI write something for me is the day y'all need to be checking me for brain damage because clearly I'm losing it
#i also told her i was capable of making a 5 minute presentation but that i had too much information to cover to explain the project in 5 min#and she was like oh that makes sense!!#but like im sorry 😭am i the insane one or like....#idk to me suggesting I use AI isn't a helpful suggestion it reads as someone telling me i don't know how to do my job#does that make sense?#i don't consider it a lifehack or working smarter instead of harder. it seems like you're suggesting i am incapable of writing well myself#i know a lot of people right now thing AI is the best thing ever#to me it's a blatant omission that you can't do your own work or think for yourself#this is also even crazier of a suggestion to me because that morning i had TWO managers on call debating wording of a sentence#like we were reveiwing this presentation tightly so that we said exactly what we wanted to and met the standards of our administration#chatgpt is not going to understand the nuances of what we can/cannot say or official/approved wording lol#i think we use ai tools in the sense of like...photoshop generative fill or ai stuff in scientific research/arcgis#but i'm like 99% sure we were banned from using chatgpt over privacy concerns of putting controlled information into it#anyway. idk. i know not everyone writes as well as i do.#but i'd rather read bad writing that came from a person than something that was generated for you tbh#and i will help review my colleagues' writing any day
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What if you and engi traded bodies for a day would you be any good in each other's jobs on the team?
ohh well,, we have very different areas of expertise. for me to do dells job.. the multitasking is no problem, but i am not nearly as mechanically inclined as he is. and vice versa i have no doubt he can think on the fly just as well as i can, but he doesnt have the same medical knowledge as i do
#of course with the advent of the mediguns.. well i suppose he could figure out how to use them#i do not think it would be very difficult#but without them i think he would have a much harder time doing my job#ah but this is why we make such a good team!#he has the mechanical know-how that i lack and i have the medical expertise he may also sometimes need for a project!#the doc is in#tf2
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As I'm dealing with that, I also want to know about the development of amalgamation within all the African empires.
#thats a whole continent away and also i need to unpack china first tbh.#but itd be so interesting to see how THEY responded to the change from panning gold to requiring additional processing#this was undoubtedly well-recorded by Timbuktu too#ahhhh i love history so much this makes me so happy#Oh additionally; if anyone has been following this saga and reading this far: I was reading Mercury Mining and Empire which is EXTREMELY#well researched and its such a joy to read although the subject matter is... god its hard. But im getting into the mercury toxicology bit#and the guy is explaining the difference between methyl mercury and inorganic mercury and im like u have done such a good job plz dont take#my thesis lololol#But also I'm hanging on this because its so well researched and he's spent time painting the picture of brutality that was enforced.#The Spanish Empire was so horrible.#I cannot emphasize enough how many people in the colonies knew this was wrong and even petitioned the king about the mita#and the petition was denied. They all wrote about the horrors of Potosi. They all knew where their silver came from.#One official notably wrote: 'I didnt come to the colony to have the doors of heaven closed upon me.'#and that plea to the crown hits harder than most of the descriptions.#ANYWAY sorry for the tag essay but my three hour flight was historically exciting~
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{COMMISSIONS}
#my art#my oc#rambles?#MY BODY HAVE BEEN RUNNING ON NOTHING BUT COFFEE WITH MILK AND A PACK OR TWO OF CRACKERS#WHY HAVENT MY BODY GIVE UP YET???#and if you ask me no#me and my folks do not have enough money to just buy anything that EVERYONE in here will eat#the cheap thing is sushi#AND I HATE SUSHI#SUSHI MAKE DIZZY AND MAKE ME WANT TO PUKE#BURGER IS TOO EXPENSIVE#PIZZA TOO#do you know how much it is a coke of 500ml in here???#and im not talking about the 12 pack of coke#no#ALSO#THE CRACKERS ARE DONE#I JUST ATE THE LAST PACK#I lost my job a few weeks ago too and they still didn't pay me for the days I worked#I NEED TO CONSUME MEAT#i only ate coffee with milk and crackers yesterday#is getting harder and harder to just stay awake during the day#my body cant work like this forever#i need a job
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do love how this is an asoiaf blog but i did not put either show in my top 10 this is the world we live in
#the only season that really compares to the book is season 1.#the rest even when they’re engaging have changed something that feels so central to the hook that i’m mad aksjd.#getting on my soap box#if iwtv s3 is good it may knock someone out. probably qaf.#bsg is p high up there i just think season 4 really suffered on pacing & the suspicious nature of who dies annoyed me.#veep is also very high up there tbh i need to rewatch it. the thing is. as we know. i am a romantic at heart and amy & jonah have my favorit#sitcom relationship. veep has genuinely one of the best finales to ever exist but i’m a sap.#and amy coming back to tell jonah that he made her realize she doesn’t actually have to expect the worst from life. oh my god.#also superstore >>> parks & rec >>> the office bc superstore never romanticized the hell of their job#amy quitting her corporate job when she realized she would never be able to make the changes she wanted within the system she was always#going to compromise too much and wind up like jeff. glenn reopening his dad’s hardware shop & specifically who goes w him & who stays w gina#at the store? it has what the other two lack which is characters that feel like they keep existing after you stop watching#BECAUSE the way they interacted with the world was so real and so much more realistic. amy can’t fix the system but she can find a job that#she doesn’t feel is so soul sucking. glenn may be choosing a harder path by reopening the hardware store but it’s the one that makes him#most fulfilled. gina just gets to make money and be bossy w people who do what they’re told. that rings so true to me.#i almost out bojack horseman in here too actually but once again i think the last season just needed to be a tad longer just like bsg.#also same issue w pitch as w bly manor - it’s an amazingly written season of tv but it’s ONE season of tv#big brother as always outsells yes i am hoping to tempt some of u into watching by posting dan & ian in the dog costume#i have that gif and the ‘sit’ scene saved on my phone always
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pont pont vesszőcske
#this year just feels weird. im selfishly not saying ~rawr so awful or tragic#because there are things ive achieved this year that im proud of and that were long due#im so happy i did that masters course and im so glad i landed a job that pays well even though its torture on my nerveous system#my mind is forever free from academic guilt and pressure#and i can afford things that nourish my soul and body when they werent accessible before#so this is the firm acknowledgment of the fact that im lucky and have an objectively good life#part of which i was given and nice parts i actually worked my ass off for#and for the first time in my life im at a stage where its all … freestyle?? lmao like ok girl you did the things now find new things to do#and theres none hehehe just human connections that are harder to build than a cv or a thesis defense and doesnt only depend#on the effort i put in#but also on how the stars and planets are moving or idk#plus i just remembered how my sister told me that the reason why i kept procrastinating on my diploma was bc it was an excuse to not grow u#and now the universe is kicking my ass all year to make me realize that i need to change and grow and build a life i could settle in#because this bitch!!!! took 3 of my 4 closest friends and made them move countries and get married or in one case just simply get over me#and not to make everything about me but its how humans work okay so ofc im internalizing a lot of other tragedies as new signs#from the universe screaming at me#to get away from the parasocial bonds that give me so much joy but also affect me too much#like LAUGH AT ME all you want but ive been wanting to see ts live since 2009#and the only thing that kept me up in exam season at 4am was me and my friend sending outfit inspos to each other#like its silly i know but when that show got cancelled and i was hysterical i kneew the lesson was to grow up and stop investing so much#into lovely but also relatively short moments of my life#because i should be able to#look forward to other things after graduating than the eras tour but i WASNT okay#and i dont have to elaborate on how liam’s passing has been affecting me/us so i wont#but fuck that was a cruel reminder - to make things about me again- that though i can talk about this with friends on my phone#until my retina burns out or melts or idk what retinas do#i still dont have ANYONE in my phsyical proximity who would understand this pain and thats partially on me#and then my 85+yr old grandma got covid AGAIN for the 3rd time and my god she got better but in case i forgot she wont be with me forever#and i reached the tag limit so thats it anyway weird year very weird dont know what it wants from me#to the void
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been thinking a lot about Dakota and autonomy and heroism lately
#he arts#dakota#So . It’s like the thing abt dakota and the Dr is that despite the medical malpractice . Despite everything . He doesn’t see it that way#And most people around him also don’t see it that way . In part I think beacuse his friends jsut want THIER friend to be#Alive and ok. And if that’s what it took to do that then ok. And then also there’s so little people !! In pd !! With normal senses of what#Autonomy is and control is because a lot of being a hero = needing to give that up. Cause u need to be able to put urself second or last#If u can save someoneelse. that’s part of the job description . So no one will ever really look at that much harder than maybe they should#But from dakotas pov i think that’s fascinating beacuse this event MASSIVLY Changed and shaped who he is . So jsut ! Idk it’s complicated#I think 21-22 are really intresting eps for that reason and to me it his descicion to go under surgery again despite obviously also being#Terrified of it but this time with William is jsut a really cool charcter desciion made and also to me always felt a bit like#Reclamation In a way I can’t fully explain. Like look here’s this thing that happend to me that I still haven’t fully processed#Here’s one way I can make myself into my own hero . Here’s how I can be someone who i needed when I was a kid#jrwi pd#SIGHSANYWYAS#idk if I should tag this as gore maybe !? Probaly#tw blood#Tw gore#<- I’d rather be safe than sorry idk if there’s a better tag I shoulda used but
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if my manager is to be believed, this is the situation going on in my department rn and im ju s t.
#excuse meeeeee ms manager ma’am w h a t do you mean people have told you that i look scarier than you????#im literally quakin in fear every time i have to spend extended periods of time in the main lab h o w are y’all afraid of me help#ma’am you’ve made people cry when you scold them so whyyyyyy are you telling me that you should be the one who’s scared (of me)?? aa???#ma’am has also made personal assumptions of me that go from 0-100 and idk how to feel about that tbh… oh well#also. like. i think my manager buys stocks in a specific brand of toilet paper. it’s just a hunch i have#but i believe in it more with each passing minute… you’ve heard of ‘big pharma’ now get ready for ‘big toilet paper’—#this workplace is genuinely so strange… yet i need the cash bc i spent too much on mona merch last month l m f a o#also bc job hunting is a pain. why’s everything either 2 hours away from home or ‘lol u gotta work saturdays’ or both~~~?#should’ve avoided the science industry in the first place smh… what was past me thinking.#b u t either way~~~~~~~~~~ ani.mate has finally put out their bonuses for chizuchan vol 2!!!!!#looks like i’ll have to work even harder next month to make up for how much i’ve spent in dec and jan~~~~~~~~~#ah. but. cny’s at the end of the month… hmmmmmm~~~~~~~ time to find more excuses to skip the family gathering lol
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Presenting: The Great KinnPorsche Fashion Showdown (nobody asked for)
A few weeks ago, I made a poll about the best dressed KinnPorsche character. Tankhun won that one, followed by Vegas and Tay. Legitimate results - but the tags had some really interesting arguments for a bunch of different contenders. So why don't we take a closer look? Why don't we go through all the characters and their outfits one by one, choose the best one for each of them and repeat the initial poll at the end?
Sooo...that's exactly what we're doing right now.
*For the characters with more than 10 outfits - like Porsche here - I'm going to make multiple polls and put the best voted ones into a final one
Tankhun - Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | FINAL CONTENDERS (CLOSED) - WINNER: THE CAPE 🎉🎉🎉
Vegas - Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | FINAL CONTENDERS (CLOSED) - WINNER: THE WITCHY SHIRT*TM 🎉🎉🎉
Kim - Part 1 (CLOSED) | Part 2 (CLOSED) | FINAL CONTENDERS (WHITE T-SHIRT*TM vs. BLACK TANK TOP OF DEATH) - (closes April 6th!!!)
Porsche - Part 1 (closes April 9th) | Part 3 coming soon
You can find the links to all the polls (as I gradually post them) HERE (pinned on my profile).
LET'S GET VOTING! 🎉
#Porsche is the guy who sees a t-shirt he likes and buys it in every single colour available#i respect that#even though it makes my job of naming these voting options SO much harder 😂💀#there's only so much you can say about t-shirt + pants combinations you know#and ngl: it's incredible difficult to decipher between the black and the dark blue t-shirt in some of the scenes#that's why I just called it dark shirt sometimes (I think the dark blue t-shirt at the beginning of ep. 8 is actually a continuity error#or Porsche switched from the black to the blue one because Vegas spilled his drink on it I don't know#...I'm the only one who cares about this right? 💀#there's also a continuity error with the pants in ep. 5...but I'll just shut up now 😂✌🏻)#BTW (if you're still reading this lol): it's the last day to vote in Kim's final contenders poll! 😊#kinnporche the series#the great kinnporsche fashion showdown#porsche kittisawasd#kinnporsche polls#kinnporsche fashion#kinnporsche costumes#kinnporsche outfits#in the queue you go
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attention spans dont real lmao. nothing about the condition or support needs of yr adhd can be measured by measuring yr attention span because the nature of adhd is that attention span is incredibly variable. this is bc adhd is characterized by dopamine seeking behavior and not just a timer until we get bored and go on our phones
#attention span is also variable regardless of the perceived value of the activity#im sure i could pay attention longer scrolling tumblr than in a class. and in that scenario the class would be more valuable to me#but i also concentrate better on swimming (intense exercise) than busywork in school (serves no purpose to me)#thats to say that we arent stereotypical defiant kids who dont want to do anything but play video games#the internal experience of adhd is needing a higher level of motivation and satisfaction to initiate difficult tasks#so mundane things are almost always harder than for someone who doesnt have executive function#ill put it really bluntly. yes more so than usual. take cover#adhd isnt tiktok brain. some of us lose jobs over this shit. some of us cut ourselves over this shit. some of us cannot function.#it is not and will never be a 'man up and get off instagram reels' disorder. it will exist no matter what i do. adhd is part of me#and on many things the world needs to make concessions to us. sorry!#it may not seem like much from an outsiders perspective to 'build back yr attention span'#but when im constantly fucking up and constantly reminded of how my executive dysfunction + lack of focus hurt me#its kind of weird to think that building back my attention span hasnt occurred to me#dont remember who said this but if you dont feel the wind its blowing in yr direction#(this is not a rebuttal to a popular post this is my addition to the discourse about adhd surrounding it)
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service manager at one of the dealerships is leaving and everyone is like “omg… how will we get through this… how will anything get done” meanwhile this is a 36 year old guy who spends his whole day sitting at his desk with his airpods in playing subways surfers and vaping and he gets mad at you when you tell him his desk phone is ringing so it’s like idk i definitely think we can do better than this actually
#he makes more than any of us do also <3#and he’s a dick#i normally wouldn’t complain about a guy wasting time this much bc who cares#but he makes my job harder AND he’s mean so i hope he d**s actually
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My short stint as a groomer trainee left me with horrors (the normalized neglect of pet dogs), respect (for all that groomers deal with), and so so much love for those tiny little dogs.
#someone walked by my table and said 'oh a chihuahua' in That tone and I almost bit them#don't disrespect my little chi he was basically perfect#a lady brought her little doodle puppy into the salon in a shiny bag and I have never been more obsessed#the urge to get a tiny little dog is continually growing#Pichael is just a little too cool with too much potential#I need a dog that makes it so nobody takes me seriously#I feel bad for not having what it takes to do the grooming thing but also#it's harder than my warehouse job#It was easier to pack an entire truck than groom one (1) uncooperative husky
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thinkin about the time my mom said 'how SHARP is that KNIFE???' from the other room when I was slicing tomatoes and thinking about how using knives at her house ranges from 'annoying' to 'actively nerve-wrecking' because they're so fucking dull and also thinking about how many times she's fucking lacerated her own hand while cooking
#my response to my mom being aghast at my audibly sharp knife was a jovial 'a sharp knife is safer than a dull one!'#which I THOUGHT was just me pointing out a truism that she would have heard before but she was like [skeptical] really??#..... YES. OH MY GOD. SO MUCH MAKES SENSE. YOUR KNIVES ARE LIKE THAT ON PURPOSE???#I thought you were just bad at knives.... but you're WILLFULLY bad at knives..........#YES!! if you have to fight it to do its fucking job it's gonna be harder to control and have more force behind it when you LOSE control MOM#I'm positive I've talked about this before I just think about it all the time agdjfkssgsk#plus I only recently made the '... wait she's also cut herself a LOT' connection lmao :'D mom... please....#accidents happen to everybody no matter how careful you are BUT for what it's worth I have still not yet sliced the shit out of my thumb#like my mother has MULTIPLE TIMES#so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯#about me
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